All right, gentlemen, welcome to Men's Heart Check-In, March 10th, man, 2025.
This year's going very, very fast.
And we had some yucking up before we hit record on this session, which kind of led us into
kind of what we're going to talk about tonight.
I'll just, I guess I'll just throw it out.
There's no good place to start in this.
I freaking lost my shit today in front of my wife and kind of directed some of it at
her inadvertently and didn't even know that I did.
And it was not good.
It was bad.
And so I'm not even going to, I'm not even going to try to make it sound exceptional.
Like, oh, there's an exception to it.
I was doing a project, I was working and I was in the midst of something very, very difficult
because I was like leaning over and I was trying to hold my body at the same time as
doing this work.
And she came around the corner in the room.
I was in the apartment cause I was putting, fixing some things and she came around the
corner and scared the living crap out of me.
And then I like reacted and she was on the phone in video phone with somebody that we
don't really know.
I mean, it wasn't like it was like sort of a formal, she was like asking some, a doctor's
office, something.
And here I am literally like a crazed maniac idiot in the background, like screaming at
her, like yelling at her.
She said I screamed at her.
I actually don't know.
I thought I remembered what I said, which was I thought I said to her you scared the
crap out of me.
And I said that loudly.
And then I thought I went back to work, but she said, I said, go away, get away, like
whatever.
I'm not really sure what I said.
So I'm confessing this guys.
And it's and it really hurt her because she has a history of that, like in her family.
I didn't mean to do that.
I apologized to her and repented to her.
We've talked about it since then, but that's not at all what I had intended actually for
today.
We just got back from our trip yesterday and it was a glorious, just amazing trip, business
trip, friends trip, spiritual trip, an exotic trip.
And it was great.
And it was like really relaxing and connecting and a bunch of stuff.
And the day after this happens, I had intended to do this project.
And for her to be like, Oh babe, that's so awesome.
Look at you.
You did the little thing.
Honey, do thing.
Not only that, you went the extra mile and you did the thing.
And it's, you did such a great job.
That was my intention today, but that's not how it turned out.
And I'm like, what the crap just happened?
I'm like, what, what is wrong with me?
You know?
And I could say a bunch of things like, well, I was startled.
Well, I was really in a difficult position because I was working hard and I was straining.
I was really struggling to do what I was doing and then, or I was interrupted in this and
I really just needed to get this thing that I was like trying to like hurry myself up.
I could have a whole bunch of different excuses and reasons and stuff, but I'm not going to
bring any of that stuff up.
And I didn't with her.
I mean, I tried to, I'll tell you that, honey, you didn't understand.
You don't understand.
And then she got even more upset because I wasn't owning my shit.
Like that's the thing that makes it worse.
It's like one thing you did it.
And then the next thing now I'm trying to make it sound better and it doesn't sound
better.
I mean, I can only imagine what that person on the other side of the phone call was thinking
like, Oh my God, this woman is an abusive situation.
Like, I mean, should we call the authorities?
I mean like, what should we do?
Like this is not good.
And I know that you might be surprised like you.
Really, this is how you are?
Like, I don't know, I guess.
There are some times I do kind of like get fired up.
Sometimes I get fired up for the right things.
I get a little righteous indignation.
But sometimes I get frustrated just like any guy does.
And sometimes we want to gloss that over,
like, oh, I'm just a guy, I'm just a dude.
You know, like we get frustrated sometimes.
But I repented my text to her
because sometimes, I don't know about you,
but sometimes talking, like later on,
after some time has passed, we can talk about some things.
But in the moment, it's difficult
to try to smooth that over or talk about it
or even just level-headedly talk about it.
You just gotta wait for some time to pass
because there's just some sore moments.
And my text to her, because I wanted to make sure
that I apologized and was quick to repent
and quick to apologize and not linger and hold that on
till any time further, or God forbid, even tomorrow.
That's why the scripture says,
do not let the sun set on your wrath
or however, like, don't let, however that's stated.
I can't quote that scripture exactly correct right now.
My text was, is I apologize
for not exercising self-control and raging.
I did not mean to say whatever I said.
I'm sorry for yelling at you and being mean.
That was certainly not what I wanted to happen today.
I simply wanted to complete the task
and have you be proud of me and happy.
I did not meet that goal.
Please forgive me from the bottom of my heart.
So finally, I got around to not explaining myself away
and just owning it and saying, it's me, I'm sorry.
You walked into that, I could have made,
I could have told her, well, you surprised me.
Then all I can say, bottom line is, is I lost it.
And now I'm going to have to, you know, reconnect.
Whatever that looks like, whatever that means,
whatever that, whatever that my responsibility is in that.
And that's difficult.
And it is not at all what I had intended for today.
Cause I saw this day going way differently,
not even just collecting, connecting, finishing a project,
but even just like really having some great, you know,
close time with my wife tonight and just like settling down.
We just got back, we just traveled
and just kind of getting ready for the rest of the week
and just having a really great, great day.
And so that's that.
So I'm making that confession to you tonight.
And so I appreciate your prayers and your inspiration.
I don't, and the first thing I don't need is,
it's okay, we all make mistakes.
Nope, don't need that.
We do all make mistakes, that is true,
but that's not the kind of consolation, you know?
Matter of fact, I don't really need any consolation.
It's just, I just trying to confess to you,
like in this environment, to you guys,
to you guys that I know and be vulnerable
and just, and transparent and say, yeah, that happened today.
Cause I could have got on this call
and I could have not mentioned any of that.
And we could have just had our regular time
and we could have just talked and we could have just
yucked it up and had a great time.
And we could have talked about really spiritual,
like happy, heavenly things and all that.
And then you guys would have had a fulfilling time
and it would have been great.
We would connected and we would have called it
a men's heart check-in, but I didn't.
I get on here and I just exposed myself.
So that's what happened today.
And so I actually have something that I'd like to get into.
Can I say something?
And let me just ask this question here.
The, what is it that you're working through right now?
Not necessarily in the context of like,
what I'm like, I just messed up.
I just, you know, had a bad day.
I had a bad moment today.
I really screwed up.
Not that, but especially around the area of fear.
David, could I needle you for a second?
Just, could I needle you for a second?
Sure.
What would you do differently?
Like, if you look back, like how,
like you were scared in the moment.
Did you feel you're at it?
to going south during the day before that, you know?
No.
It was actually really surprising.
OK.
And it was very reactionary.
I wish I would have exhibited.
It was a stressful moment for me because of what
I was doing in the moment.
And the sort of, I was up on a ladder
and I was doing something.
You know when you're holding your body
and you're trying to, you can't hold your body up
with your hands and you're working on something,
but you're leaning forward.
So now you're using your core to actually hold yourself up.
And you're not doing this very well.
And you need a third hand.
It was one of those tasks.
And then I got freaked out because she
came around the corner in that position.
So it was totally reactionary.
But I'm wondering why I had to take another step.
And that's on me.
And I'm not saying that I actually have an issue.
Like I have an anger issue.
Like I just had this thing.
I mean, I just reacted.
And then I did something to really harm my wife.
So quite honestly, it doesn't really
matter even what the intention was.
Because I wasn't mad at her.
I was just surprised.
But yet it happened.
So it's one of those situations where like it happened so fast,
I don't even know.
And it wasn't a ramp up from like, oh, I
was really feeling frustrated.
I got some bad news.
And then I just took it out on her.
And it wasn't anything like that.
May I step in here for a moment, David?
As a counselor, I recognize this all too well,
especially being a cop as well, too.
It's called the fight and flight syndrome.
And you've got to remember that that part of the brain
in which it was affected at that very moment, it's stimulated.
And since it's stimulated, it takes time
for it to run its course.
That's why we tend to either make excuses about what after.
But it is a real thing.
And couples have to recognize that.
I know how many times I've been caught off guard.
And I just put my hands up and says, well, come bring it on.
But because it makes you go into that realm.
But the point again here as well, too,
is we've got to recognize, number one,
recognize what it did to ourselves,
how we react to things like that.
Some people will just run away.
Other people will sit there and fight.
David, it sounds like you're a fighter.
And so when you're ready to fight something like that,
your whole being is involved, including your mouth.
It's not always what's in the heart.
Because we'll try to evaluate this one to death.
But we have to say it for what it was.
You got scared.
You went into the fight and flight situation.
And what came out is what came out.
We have to recognize that and accept
that on both parties, husband and wife.
And then after that, it's after that adrenaline
has been withdrawn.
And it does take some people, it takes hours, not just moments.
That's the moment you would say, hold on.
I just said something I shouldn't have said.
I am sorry as best as I can right now.
But can we talk about this later?
Because I'm still on this adrenaline attack right now.
It was made for us.
God put it within us.
And it's something that isn't always bad.
It's just how do we deal with the whole thing after the fact?
True.
And that's where we're coming to.
Can we get down on our, after the adrenaline has come in
and we set a time with our spouse and say, listen,
can we meet this time?
I want to explain.
I don't want to give excuses.
Just want to explain.
Yeah.
And then when you begin to explain,
you get down on one knee.
You always get always under them, not above them.
You always go to a knee.
You got always lower than them
because you never want to lord over a situation like this
to anybody, including your children.
This can be used for your children.
Never lord it over when you're about to have
to make an apology.
Yeah.
Because after it's been said,
you got time to recollect your thoughts.
You can, what you thought, what didn't,
because it's not about, oh, I said this.
No, you said this.
No, but that, that is just a, that's just,
that's a cockfight.
That's all that is.
Yeah.
And in a marriage, we learn how to,
how our partners react to certain things.
We grow from that one.
Yeah.
And then we say-
That's good.
So we get together and we just say,
listen, sweetheart, I'm ready to talk.
To begin with, I'm going to sit at your feet
to let you know that I'm not lording, I'm not me.
excuses here but I just sincerely came back to apologize for what not only my
reaction but what the words came out and hopefully you know me well enough to know
that's not my heart that was a jerk reaction and I've come to good I'm so
sorry that should never happen I can't say it's going to be correct in the
future because you can't say that you don't know but you can say can you help
me walk through this one can you forgive me and can we pray together and
just to bring peace back into this hole yeah now that's good and a couple of
things I like what you said there was sorry I'm just picking up something is
to answer even Chris's question you know like I can't tell you what I would have
done differently had to you know quite do it all over again or whatever like
that's completely theoretic because it's not even possible right and and I don't
even know that there is any better situation because it's like like Kenton
said it just happened and it's actually what happens afterwards is actually more
important than even what what did happen which leads me into another story I want
to say and we don't have to be finished with this section because it just might
be more questions comments or whatever like that on that and I I don't want to
get back to that but I want to move forward because I want to get in
discussion with you guys about this I just came from a mastermind retreat
that's where I was in in in Cabo San Lucas and over the weekend and it was
tremendous it was incredible but the mastermind group that I'm a part of we
spent at least two years or more contending to be vulnerable and some of
the things that Kenton was talking about with regard to like the relationship and
the fact that it happened and analyzing you can analyze why you talk about this
and you can make excuses and whatever or you can even just stick with the facts
and whatever you can even argue about it you know this is which is what most
people do and but you're right you got to come to it you got to come to a
moment wherever that moment is it's level-headedness and you definitely need
to have discussion that's level and equal and very fair you know in order to
like work some of that stuff out and but the vulnerability that's required in
order to have true relationship and of course marriage relationship being one
of the ultimate if not the ultimate for a single individual I mean like you have
lots of relationships in life but that one relationship is the ultimate right
it's the most intimate it's the most connected and all that kind of stuff and
but to even have that level of relationship in community in Christian
fellowship is powerfully important and can be done and is missed greatly in the
body of Christ in a lot of ways I mean I'm sure there's a lot of small groups
that are great out there and they're doing really good work and all that kind
of stuff but it doesn't serve a lot of the a lot of the body of Christ and in a
way because people you know go to the church form and they don't go deeper in
relationship why because a lot of reasons mainly fear for on on all
different levels fear of this fear of that for objection fear of abandonment
fear of vulnerability fear of you know whatever all the different things and in
our mastermind it was really odd because this particular trip that we had we were
inviting some new members in a different tier so they weren't necessarily the
kind of group that we've been fellowshipping with for the last two and
a half years or so and so they were just new to the group and we were having our
third session this time and we were getting really vulnerable and
transparent we were just going some deep and it wasn't like you know everybody
was it wasn't like a big confession session it wasn't like that at all like
we all know each other very well we all know each other very deeply you know so
we all know our stuff it's not like you know we're you know there's a bunch of
like weirdness going on right but we were definitely being just very
vulnerable and you have to understand this room that I'm in in this mastermind
these are not slouchy people these are not like these are a certain caliber of
people that you know
Sometimes you get in with a certain group,
and this is the kind of groups where most of the time
in these environments, people are trying to level up,
trying to level up like B-Flex, you know,
and do all this kind of stuff like,
oh, I'm this, I'm that, blah, blah, blah.
And that's not what we do at all in my mastermind.
Matter of fact, vulnerability is where it's at.
And that has created a level of connection
that is, you know, very hard to,
very hard to whittle down and destroy.
And we have one of the new members
after we're third sessions in, this is our last session,
and somebody said, what did you learn this week?
And this lady said, she goes, well,
I learned that, you know, that my husband and I
need to have some more connection, you know?
And that was kind of, that's kind of a vulnerable statement.
Now, in the context of our meeting,
it's kind of not because we already
have been talking about that.
But sometimes if you're just talking about like that,
just like in your church group,
like somebody raised their hand and goes,
hey, I need to have more connection with my husband.
And you think of them as like really great, awesome people.
Like that would be very awkward sometimes.
You know what I'm trying to say in some circles?
And then she prefaced it with, we love each other,
we really do, we've been together for 20 years
or more or whatever, but I just needed some more connection.
And we stopped it right there with like, don't qualify it.
Now hear what I'm saying.
Don't qualify it.
Don't qualify it by saying, oh, we're in love.
We've been together for so many years.
We've been like, don't qualify it, just say,
I learned that my husband and I have some disconnecting
and we need to connect more.
That's like powerful because of the level of vulnerability.
Instead of trying to qualify it,
like, because nobody was trying to assume
you don't love your husband.
Nobody was trying to assume that you have like marriage problems
so bad that you're ready to get divorced.
Nobody was assuming that.
So it doesn't need to be qualified,
but the level of transparency and the level of vulnerability
creates an opportunity for that lady
and the rest of us to go deeper.
And I know that's uncomfortable.
I know that's hard to hear because we don't,
we always want to, we have, it's just as people
and especially as good people, church people,
we always want to qualify things.
You know, I'm this, but you know, I'm this over here.
I'm okay, but you know, I just have this one little issue
and that's not being completely transparent,
completely vulnerable.
That's kind of covering and that's kind of protecting.
And that's kind of like, I'll show you this,
but I'm like, I want you to know that I'm bigger over,
you know what I'm saying?
So that doesn't lend for there to be a depth
of relationship that's necessary in this fellowship.
That's why I started tonight with this, like,
guys, I screwed up.
Now, after I've told you all the facts,
some of you may be thinking, well, I don't know,
maybe it wasn't that bad.
Maybe it was, you know, maybe it was, you know,
considering all the, you consider all the variables, right?
But I'm not trying to make excuses like that.
I'm like, no, this is bad.
It's not good.
And I'm having to like fix this in my relationship.
And so I'm taking it as it is, trying to be vulnerable
and trying to be transparent.
And so my question to you tonight, guys, is,
what, there's a statement I heard over the weekend too.
Oh, this is where the story was I was going.
Here's the story.
I told you about our mastermind.
I told you we can be vulnerable.
And then I told you about the lady who mentioned the thing.
And then she got sort of corrected, like,
hey, don't cover it, right?
And then immediately after she said what she said,
another guy, now you have to understand the context
of what I'm saying.
We have just had this incredible weekend, transparent.
We're having, not only we're having like lots of like
God encounters and supernatural times
and worship moments and transparency,
but we're having tons of fun as well.
Like we are having a blast.
Like, and it is amazing that this is just the mixture
of all of that, right?
And this one guy goes, he goes, yeah,
can you, but if you're progressing in your relationship.
with the Lord, doesn't that mean that you're progressing in the relationship with your
husband and your wife, or husband or your wife?
And he sort of make a statement and he was also asking a question and it was very curious
because in the moment, after all of this like great time and transparency and everybody's
like sharing and all that, he makes a statement that sounds, what?
Does anybody reading in between the lines based on the same, he says, yeah, but Arch,
if you're growing in the Lord, in your relationship with the Lord, you know, can you be out of
balance with your wife?
Can you be out of balance?
You know, does anybody?
Like inherent?
Huh?
Like, do you mean that he meant to say like you're inherently getting close to your wife
if you're getting closer to God?
Yes.
Okay.
Like those things are synonymous.
Gotcha.
Anybody reading between the lines on this and hearing anything like why that would be
spiritual bypass kind of because it's the, you can be with God and still hurt somebody
and still be wrong in horizontal relationship.
It feels like a spiritual bypass.
Okay.
Anybody else?
I guess that's what you see.
Anybody see anything wrong with that statement?
Say the statement again, David.
Sound like he was saying she's full of shit, kind of, and kind of call her out a little
bit, maybe.
No, this is just one of our new, this is one of our, no, no, no, again, let me just create
the context again.
New participant.
The lady, she says what she says about her husband and then tries to cover a little bit
and then another new person.
So this was not a leader.
This was not a long time member.
This was another new person that makes the statement.
He says, but aren't, but it, but aren't you, but you know, I feel like I'm growing in Christ
and I'm making connections, you know, like, and because of that, I can't be out of relationship
with my wife.
It's awfully assumptive.
It's assumptive.
Right.
Because, I mean, if you're assuming that you get grow closer to Christ, if she's not doing
the same thing, it doesn't, it doesn't predicate, predicate you coming closer together.
It doesn't, it's, yeah, it's so, I mean, each person's got to be going up that same thread
and walking together just because you're going closer to the Lord doesn't mean you're going
closer to each other.
I mean, you can actually be going farther apart.
Could be.
It sounds works-based.
Here is, because you all weren't in the room, let me kind of just shed some more light on
this because I want to make this point.
One of our leaders got up at that moment and said, and said this after the man said that,
and the statement was, now see the religious spirit wants to come in.
Good one.
The religious spirit wants to come in because what the man was saying, and I can share some
other context, but I'm not going to do that.
But what the man, you're going to have to take my word for this.
What the man was saying was, is all of you all spent the last three days being vulnerable
and you know, and willing to be just like laying it out there and being, you know, even
corrected and even like brought up and challenged, you know, like not even correct, but just
challenged, like, Hey, let me challenge what you're saying there, you know?
And this guy doesn't even attempt to be vulnerable.
He just puts it out there like I'm progressing with the Lord.
And therefore my relationship with my wife is great and perfect and wonderful.
And you all are, I don't know what you all are doing, but I'm just doing great.
That's basically what was happening in that moment.
And here is the religious spirit, not even attempting to be vulnerable, comes in and
starts like, well, I don't know about you guys, but everything's fine with me.
And we're like, bro, are you reading the room at all?
Are you even here?
Have you been here the last three days?
Do you even know what you're talking about?
And this guy, the background context of this guy has been like, he's well, he has tremendous
businesses.
He's got, it is technically his second marriage, which I'm not holding that against him.
But he has all these things and he's been flexing all weekend.
And we've just been kind of like, okay, bro, whatever.
Like nobody's impressed.
But then ends the conference with this statement and we're like.
And then, guess what our reaction in our community was?
Anybody wanna guess what our collective reaction
after we've been not only vulnerable for the last three days
but we've spent two and a half years
trying to make authentic connections
with each other in community, what was our reaction?
You were in dismay about this religious dude.
No.
I feel like you, based on what I know of you so far,
you would have extended an olive branch to him
to invite him into a deeper level of vulnerability.
Technically, yes.
Okay, that did happen.
What else?
What was our initial feeling reaction?
Bill, or did you feel lonely with him?
Like you were, you know, didn't,
you weren't really getting to know him.
He was just-
A little bit.
Like forgiveness emotion?
Okay, a little bit of that.
But I'm looking for something extremely specific.
Maybe a little dismay?
Dismayed, yeah.
I mean, a little bit, but not so much.
And earlier.
Not so much.
I will tell you, our initial reaction,
because our collectiveness as a group,
because we had some new people with us,
but our collection is,
those of them have been journeying for a while,
our immediate reaction in our hearts,
that wasn't necessarily said until later
and because of it kind of played out in context,
but we shared about it sidebar after the fact.
And we were like, hey, that guy, you know,
I was really surprised at that statement.
And then our reactions to each other were,
man, I hope that guy gets some breakthrough.
I hope that that guy can see what we're trying to do here
as a community.
And gets beyond, gets past that.
We were seeing him not as someone,
as he wanted to be seen, I'm accomplished.
I have a great relationship with the Lord.
I have no problems with my wife.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I've got three business offices.
I live in Hawaii.
We were not seeing that as like, oh man, you're great.
Like we wanna know who you are.
No, we had compassion.
We had a moment of like, bro,
if you could just be with us a little bit longer,
if you could get past this little rebuke,
because he got rebuked later
and that was another thing.
But anyway, we were like,
man, we would love to see you have a breakthrough.
We would love to see you come into the fellowship
as we've been contending for for the last many years.
And the reason I'm laying all this out guys
is because this is true community.
This is true relationship.
This isn't just a bunch of people getting together
and patting each other on the back
or even in this, in like what we're trying to do
in our group.
We are building connections.
We are building, like I feel like connected
to each one of you, even though many of you
have never met even in person.
But I feel like I know you well enough.
I feel like I know your heart.
I feel like I know something about you.
I feel like I know where you're going
in the sense that like we're champions for each other.
It's powerful.
Imagine if we could actually be in person
every Monday night or whatever like that.
We can't because we just live all different things
and maybe we should get together at some point
and we probably will.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is
the level of contending for vulnerability in relationship
is extremely important.
It's powerful.
It's life-changing.
It's what people need and want.
It's where the body of Christ should be.
And we need to contend for it.
We need to contend for each other within this group.
And we need to contend for it in our own relationships.
And we need to contend for it in our families
and in our local communities.
You know, to the chagrin of many other people
because a lot of people don't like it
and they won't like it.
And like some people,
like I feel like Abram's naturally kind of this kind of dude
where it's like, hey, I'm just, I'm vulnerable.
I'm just like, I'm kind of an open book type thing.
Like, you know, and there's maybe some things
that you might try to protect yourself a little bit.
Abram like in some humor and some stuff like that,
you know, which is true, admit it.
But at the same time, I think like,
you're one of those dudes that kind of almost like
is naturally kind of like, you know, like whatever.
Like, you know, he's his own, like cool.
Like, you know, I can still connect
or I can still have a conversation or have coffee, whatever.
but we all have our hang-ups.
So the question I wanna ask tonight, guys,
is there was a statement that was made over the weekend too
that, write this down, somebody write this in the chat,
fear equals trust.
Fear equals trust.
Now immediately, some of you faith-filled,
Bible-believing, Holy Ghost-filled Christians
are gonna be like, no, that's not good.
Fear's bad, fear's terrible.
Fear, no, we cast out fear.
We don't live by, you know, we live by faith.
We don't live by fear.
And I'm with you, I am there with you.
I hate fear.
I've been taught that fear is the enemy, and it is.
And hate is not the opposite of love,
but fear is the opposite of love.
But when you think of statements like fearing the Lord
is the beginning of wisdom, right?
We understand that.
And we can break that down eschatologically,
and we can break that down theologically,
and we can look at what the root word of the,
what the word fear means there,
but it's not the same as whatever in the elsewhere.
We can talk about all that if we want to.
But if you just kinda look at this and trying to just like,
trying to just grab onto some like real truth here,
whatever you fear, in other words, fear equals trust,
whatever you fear is what you put your trust in.
Whatever you're concerned about,
whatever your fear and whatever you're like,
ooh, like, hmm, whatever gets your attention
is what you put your trust in.
So then statements like fearing the Lord
is the beginning of wisdom
start to make a little bit more sense,
because it's like, I fear the Lord.
I fear what may happen in his presence.
Everybody in scripture who met the Lord in person
was pretty, you know, scared shitless, basically.
They fell on their face.
They hid themselves.
Hello, these are all the scriptural stories, you know them.
So don't act like, oh, well, if I met God,
it would just be a one big like bro fest.
We would be slapping, you know, high five, love you, daddy.
No, I think you'd be pretty, pretty awestruck.
And when you think about, when you fear equals trust,
whatever you fear, whatever you're concerned about
is what you put your trust in.
And you start applying that, okay,
so let's take it out of the realm of like meeting God.
Let's talk about like, what are your greatest fears?
What are the greatest things?
What's the thing?
If you were honest and could be transparent
and not trying to cover anything,
what is the thing that you fear the most?
What is a couple of things that you fear?
And so if you wanna put it in the chat,
like if anybody wants to say like,
what is it I really like,
what is I'm really concerned about?
What does I really fear like in relationships?
What does it really fear like in my life?
Like, what does I really worry about and fear about?
Right?
So start putting that in the chat.
Another way to put this is whatever you're afraid of losing,
that could be another fear.
What is it you're afraid of losing?
What is the thing that you're afraid of losing
if you X, fill in the blank.
If you do this, if you go here,
if you are in a relationship.
What if you get into a relationship and then,
you know, some people are not getting in relationships
with another person because of fear.
Fear of what?
Yeah, okay, so dying alone and unloved.
Wow, powerful.
Married for 10 years and ends.
Oh, getting married for 10 years and then it ends
and then the kids have to live out a suit.
Yeah, a case like a court case.
Okay.
Marriage and the same thing happening
like it happened before.
Okay, yeah, fear of what happened before.
It happened this way before, why can't it happen again?
I'm fearful of that.
Yeah, it's good.
Why is financial destruction if married?
Why is financial destruction synonymous with being married?
here I'll speak up to that well well it's your comment yeah so the person I
was married to before she's exactly the opposite of me I'm very analytical data
is my thing you know stuff like that she on the other hand is anything but she's
more the creative analog type so if it came to installing an app on the phone
it was no-go if it came to using an app to help with
finances nope for her reconciling finances is eyeballing statements so
yeah it's that it's that kind of order and women are chaos and that's actually
somewhat of the male and feminine yin-yang it actually kind of is that's
there's some historical universal sort of things to that but it also is in a
good way sometimes we need some chaos I'm afraid kids will never know Jesus
Wow that's really interesting I'm afraid of being I'm just interesting coming
from you Daniel as well I'm afraid of being constantly rejected after every
first date and this pattern happens until I die okay if you're being left
behind of anything being social hierarchy okay left behind and in
society I get it in relationship sim for getting married looking back and
thinking I knew I wasn't supposed to do this out fear yeah fear of regret made a
bad decision made yeah scarring scaring away my future wife my past my rage and
my injuries okay can't be future finances marrying the wrong woman being
rejected what I fear is being left behind in anything yeah afraid of
loneliness that's good anybody I didn't see this in here I could be wrong me I
missed it over my fear is fear of abandonment you know my first wife left
and you know I've told you that all this before that on paper it looked like it
was all her fault and in the context of you know the church I was in and the
community I was in all kind of stuff everybody looked at me like oh David you
know poor David this happened to him blah blah blah his wife left and
deconstructed all that kind of stuff but you know over the years I've owned the
fact that it was a hundred percent my fault and 100% her fault it wasn't like
I'm trying to say oh yeah I didn't I didn't accept that lie like oh yeah my
wife did me dirty she left me blah blah blah I didn't get bitter and mad and
retarded about it because and I don't mean retarded disparagingly I mean like
I didn't slow me down to start to keep thinking that it was my wife's fault
because that would not have served me well at all just blaming my wife for my
divorce like that doesn't teach me anything doesn't learn me anything that
doesn't help me in my future relationships that doesn't help my kids
that doesn't help anything you know and then it certainly doesn't help me grow
because I can't see my own weaknesses if I'm start just blame everybody so if
you're in your life and most of the things that you're complaining about
that are wrong in your life or as a result of somebody else or something
else or some other reason other than at least half you if not more then you're
looking at it wrong and if you feel that stinging it's supposed to and I mean
that harsh you're looking at it wrong you're not seeing this correctly and the
thing about it is it's not it's not meant for you to take that stick and
then start beating you so you're not supposed to beat yourself up either you
just supposed to own your shit and go yep that's right now how do I get out of
this and there's a pattern there's enough information there's enough
inspiration there's enough like umph there's enough like things that you can
subject yourself to to get yourself out of this situation and into health that's
what we're trying to do here we're not trying to like call things out for the
sake of calling things out and making people feel like shit we're calling
things out so that you can be aware of them so you could deal with them and so
you can go and so you can be all that you can be that's what it's about that's
powerful that's awesome that is life-infusing but I also understand
being afraid of that because I too for so long was afraid of being real was
afraid of being vulnerable as afraid of people knowing the truth but you can't
be afraid of that
You also can't be so truthful that you're just constantly beating yourself up for the past because that's
Not good either
That's not the point
This is not Alcoholics Anonymous
I know people have gotten really help a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous, but continuing to call yourself an addict
After you literally have been made a new person in Christ
it's just
That doesn't work either
I'm not saying hey, it hasn't helped people. I'm just saying that continue to call yourself an addict continue calling yourself
You know a piece of crap
Because you messed up because you screwed up because you're human for crying out loud
Does not fix your problem either
Moving forward in health and wholeness and wellness and strength
and and allowing other people in a and and and
and being
um
I say this word too much now vulnerable enough to to to be in a relationship
Gives you the strength to move on
So every single one of these things guys I want you to start thinking of um, you know, I was writing this, you know
I I'm thinking of like single guys, but this is true with married people too. I mean, I mean
You're afraid of losing your independence
Are you afraid of losing your possessions?
I'm i'm not kidding. You don't know you don't know these people but they're actually in our community
but you don't really know them because you know, our community's just
A bigger in a lot of ways, but anyway
We had a couple that actually got married in our community and then they got divorced. Why?
because of a cat
She had a cat that she didn't want to get rid of and she wasn't necessarily the cleanest housekeeper
And this guy was super tidy and he had more things so it made sense for her to move in with him
But she brought her cat
And he couldn't get over that because he tried to and he's like I will try to get over the cat
But I can't go over the cat and she wouldn't let go of the cat. So they're now divorced because of a cat
And you look at that like
And you look at that like yeah, that's crazy that's funny that's weird it's real
They would not get further in their relationship beyond a dumb cat
Both ways
And and they actually got married that's the thing it's like
You guys knew this before you got married. Why did you actually get married?
Like I know our program is like last year single we're trying to encourage marriage we're trying to get people together
We're trying to like encourage them as best they can like it doesn't take much seriously. Just do your hard work
It doesn't take that much and just get married
Like we're trying to say that a lot of ways
But you all knew this before you got married and you did it anyway
And now it became such a problem that you're not married anymore
Now I will say this they're not young people
They're a little bit older so i'm maybe a little bit of benefited out like
Sometimes it's just
You know hard to
change
I don't I don't know
and my heart breaks for them because it's like now it's just like whatever like all the stuff that you have to undo and all
the things you have to go through and the
The rigmarole and just like that's just like
That's tough man. I hate that
but
So what i'm trying to say is like, you know, if you have fear of like losing out like
Oh my god, my house is going to be different
You know, I have to move into somewhere else or I have to like, you know, what if what if this happens?
What if that happens like what's it's going to be like having to live with another person?
um
And the money thing the health thing those are all real issues
You know when you're young they always say
Well two is better than one because you know when you're young you don't have money and she doesn't have money
But together you have a little bit more money because you know, at least you can kind of cobble things together
And it's better together
Sometimes that isn't the case necessarily when it's a little bit older
You're all down the road and things have changed and you got some careers and then some things are a little bit like oh
That's a little risky
Get in relation to marriage relationship with somebody and I understand those are very real things
But you have to be honest about those things
And deal with them directly. There are there are answers to all of these things guys
And some of them some of these things on this list that you're saying
it's funny because
It's just like it's a track record it happened before
So what if it happens again?
And you have to challenge that and go just because it happened before does not mean it happens again
You're a different person. You're a better person
you know better.
That's the point where you start working on yourself.
Like, how can I make sure in a healthy way,
not beat myself up,
but how can I make sure that this doesn't happen again?
Can I be a better husband?
Can I be a better person?
If you were married before and you're concerned
about all the things happening in your first marriage
are gonna happen in your second marriage,
I've dealt with that a lot.
I've dealt with that a lot,
but I've also worked through a lot of it too.
And our marriage now is more healthy than it's ever been,
you know, in spite of what happened today, seriously.
And so there's hope.
Let me say this as a way of encouragement.
Does anybody know the story of Samson?
I do.
And Samson and his strength,
and he was in the lap of Delilah,
and he lost all of his strength,
but then he got it back one last time.
But there's a story previous to all that,
like Sam, the well-known Samson,
of Samson finding the honey in the lion.
Anybody know that story?
Mike, tell us a little bit about that story.
Can you recap that just to say,
you should go ahead and ask.
Well, so he was cruising by,
I think he was going to see a chick,
but I don't remember what it was.
It could have been.
But then he saw that-
Samson had that issue.
Yeah, he had, there was bees that were in a lion's mouth.
They made a nest in a lion's mouth.
Yeah.
And as an Azurite,
he wasn't supposed to touch anything dead.
So he went by it, and he found the honey,
so he went by it,
and then I think it was on the way back,
he's like, yeah, I'm gonna get some honey,
and that's, yeah.
So he kind of blew it.
He blew it in a lot of ways, but yeah.
Yeah.
Well, there's a little bit of an idea though in that,
where in that story,
sometimes God does bring a little bit of a sweetness
in a previous battle that you've had.
So it was, in one way, it was out of order
because of the Old Testament context of the Nazarite vow,
but at the same time, there was a certain provision in it
that was sort of outside the law.
And this is one of the things that David did.
He found a way to be sort of like subvert the law
and operate in kingdom.
And he was rewarded for it
because God saw him as a man after his own heart.
And it's interesting because I'll go back to the man
who asked the question about, can you progress?
Like, isn't you progressing with the Lord,
being in harmony with your wife?
Doesn't it just automatically mean like,
because like I'm progressing with the Lord,
so therefore I don't have anything wrong with my wife.
And the answer to that is, yes, you can.
You can absolutely be progressing with the Lord
in your relationship and progressing in greatness
and in sweetness and sort of with the Lord
and be out of fellowship with the one
that you're intimate with, your wife being this person.
Hello, King David.
King David, we all know what King David did.
Does anybody know?
He looked down when he was not in battle
and he should have been out of battle,
wasn't where he was supposed to be,
looked down, saw a naked woman,
desired to have him, her as his wife,
took her and in order to take her,
also killed a man in the process.
Like that's despicable.
That's horrific.
That's barbaric.
That is like the most gangster thing that you can do.
Literally just steal another man's wife
and then kill him to get rid of the evidence
and cover it up.
And then when he was confronted about it,
was so angry, he said, this man must die.
And Nathan said, you are that man.
Whoa.
But in the record of scripture,
at the time that David was anointed king,
it says that the reason that David was anointed king
was because he was found to be a man after God's own heart
was replacing Saul because Saul had lost his anointing
to be king anymore because of his disobedience.
And you're like, well, David was disobedient.
Like how does that work?
And then in Acts,
it states for the record in the New Testament,
Testament after we already know see like the record of saying that Dave was a man after God's own heart was before we knew what?
David in chronological order before we knew what David did what he did as
King right you following what I'm saying, but in Acts as
a way to
Go back to the hallmarks of faith
It repeats the words that says that God saw just like in
In the days when God saw
David was a man after God's own heart replacing Saul. It says that in Acts for the record
After we already knew what David did
So you can't tell me that you can't
For be progressing in your relationship with the Lord and be dysfunctional in your human relationships
You
Can't be like, oh I'm all about Jesus. I'm all about good, but I just can't find I just can't seem to find harmony with other
people
Yeah, you can do that all day long bro and just be out of relationship
The Bible even says if you love God, but yet hate your brother
Truth is not in you
Like whoa, what?
Oh
Me and Jesus we just got going on and there's so many so many believers like that
And I'm just I'm challenging that in you if if that's if that's hitting a thing in you
Because I want to encourage you that
It's not like you have to like stop progressing in your relationship with the Lord
But you
want to learn how to
come into
relationship with others and
You and you're doing that. I don't want to I don't want to just I don't want to disparage and say you're not doing that
You wouldn't be here on this call if you weren't doing that
You know I'm saying
You wouldn't be on this call if you weren't interested in trying to be more vulnerable more open more like I'm working on myself
I'm working on relationships. I'm working on like what do I have to do to get out of my way?
So I'm just I want to say that by way of encouragement not by way of like, you know, you're terrible. I
started this whole thing out by being vulnerable to show you that being vulnerable and
Being the missing the mark isn't the end of your journey
Just because of things that happened before
Just because things aren't working out right now. That doesn't mean that's the end of your journey
There's way more to reach out for than you for to hold on to
So let go today of what's in your hand
Let go of fear. Let go of regret. Let go of I suck let go of
You know, this isn't working out my life isn't what I thought it was going to be at this moment in time
I'm such-and-such age. I thought it was going to be much different
Let go of that and move on in your heart work in community in your relationship
And move forward move past every limiting belief move past every issue of fear and
Develop the fear of the Lord
Because whatever you're afraid of losing or whatever you're afraid of not working out is what you trust in
So at the very least put your trust in the Lord and all that he has for you
There was a time I was a worship leader for 20 years guys
there was a time where I didn't want to be close to the Lord because I was so hurt and
I was losing out the entire time because I wasn't willing to be
You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know
to be you know worship for or develop in my heart connection with God and
I was missing out on all the advancements that God was trying. He was trying to speak to me
He's trying to be gracious to me. He was trying to lead me into and
I was faltering
During my second marriage because I'd already lost it all wasn't like oh, I'm gonna lose it all
No, I'd already lost it all. I already had the bankruptcy. I already had the cars repossessed
I already had the divorce on my record
I already had
persona non grata at the big church that I was at that my whole identity was wrapped in and lost all that and was
Relegated to the back pew to say get out of here
and
Then I was still faltering and flailing and
wondering who I was and not
falling on the rock before the rock falls on me?
I don't know. I mean a lot of this sounds very discouraging and I'm not
trying to be discouraging at all. I'm trying to be very inspirational to you.
I'm sorry this is coming off really awkward but I hope you're getting it.
I hope that you can feel inspired in some way to like you know like even in business when we
started being more successful it wasn't because I was so inspired because I was like oh man I can
really do this. No it was somebody that ticked me off and it was someone that did something great
and I went damn it ah if that guy can do it I can do it. That's what made me take my first move.
And so I don't know if that inspires you. It was you know I'm not really a type A
charismatic kind of a dude. I'm just not at all. So none of that really impresses me. Like some
guys like hey man I'm like you know like shucking and jiving to do all that. Get out of here.
That does not do anything for me normally but sometimes I see an individual and they have a
certain like like they did something and I'm like I know that guy's just like me. Dang it he did it.
Man I'm done with this. I'm tired of being a loser. I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm going to go
for it and I had a breakthrough you know and yeah I kind of call myself a loser. I shouldn't do that
but it was it was it was transformative in the moment and I don't really call myself a loser
you know over and over and over again. So it's not like anyway here I'm trying to cover that but
it is what it is.
I don't know maybe maybe we can get some reaction. I don't want to go long long but I just want to
like if you're getting anything from this at least just raise your hand and say yeah I've something's
something's clicking something is pricking me something's helping something's like I want to
make a difference on a couple hands. Can I share something David? Go ahead David.
So I kind of look at it more as like an observation like from a judge at like a martial
arts competition. You're not saying oh you did this wrong this wrong this wrong this wrong. It's like
hey you can move that way. Can you also move this way? Can you try moving this way? Can you do the
form backward? Can you do it sideways? Can you do it with a 45 pound bar in your hand? It's an
invitation to projecting yourself into other ways and other methods of still chasing after God and
still building that union with God and just working on yourself. So let me ask you David.
You're saying this in sort of that analogy which is great. I think it's a good analogy. Let's go
back to your thing scaring away my future wife of my past my rage and my injuries. So how are you
going to come against that out of partnership with that out of connection with that
with what you're talking about? I'm not challenging you. I'm just I'm helping you
to like let's build a bridge. No it was actually I was actually going to start with that and then
you asked this recent question but so actually this past week and I've been hiking and spending
time with God for the last few months and yeah kind of just made me aware of and you know what
that's important not because you're hiking and spending time with God. You know why that's
important? Because I observed that. I've observed that. You've shown up enough times that we have
seen that. I've seen you on the mountain. I've seen your prayer. I've seen you doing it. I didn't have
to be told that. You didn't have to be like oh well I'm doing this and I'm doing this with the
Lord and I'm like progressing like that. You didn't have to like boast about it. I've seen it.
That's powerful. That's a powerful testimony that I know that about you because I've seen it.
Not because you told me. Kudos. So go ahead. You've been doing that and that's been doing what?
So that created a conversation between God and I, Holy Spirit and I that
I don't have good boundaries and I'm kind of more aware of that now and it's almost like
Like, even when I filled out my spirit mate match profile,
even part of the fear was involved in that.
I was like, oh, if I don't select everyone
from like four foot three to six foot 10,
I'm never gonna meet anyone.
If I don't select liberal, neoconservative,
whatever, polka dot, I'm not gonna meet someone.
But even further than that,
like even when I've gone out on dates in the past,
I've invited someone out hiking.
I've invited someone out to an adventure
or a crazy fun experience,
not recognizing how much it put me in an area of weakness.
Not just for myself and my date, like physical wise,
but also like how much it opened me up
to like stick my foot in my mouth, so to say.
Okay, because what you're saying
is because an initial date,
you want to be more like closer to the vest
and not be so just out there, no boundaries, whatever.
So the context of the date
lent you to be like more free
than what it is that you probably
should have been on a first date.
Absolutely.
Okay, exactly.
And then sort of like, I have no boundaries,
so if I have no boundaries,
then I'm just gonna scare away my future wife
because I'm just gonna share too much.
I'm gonna be too vulnerable.
I'm gonna be like too open book, whatever.
Okay.
Yeah, as for some of the other stuff in my past,
super deep into sexual sin for a long time.
It's stuff that I can only-
That doesn't have to identify you going forward.
I know you know that, but I'm just saying like-
It's just the, it's like the polar opposite of,
not opposite, but like polar end of,
oh, hey, here's a lesson in pornography.
And then there's all this stuff in the past.
Even though it's the past, it's just-
I think you would agree with me to say that
one of the greatest ways that you come out of identity
with that is just not being that
and being what your true identity is.
Like, it's not so much trying to get away from something
that was your identity or maybe still is at some point,
like, oh yeah, I still do, whatever.
I know it's not.
The best way for you to go away from that
is to go toward what your true identity is.
And that's, it's important to say your true identity
instead of saying an alternate identity.
Like, I want a new identity.
Actually, I think, because I think that's what we talk about
a lot in this community,
is instead of like trying to replace you
with an alternate identity,
like, I don't want that anymore, I want this.
You know, because people can do that too.
They can easily go, I don't want to be a loser,
so I'm just going to be a winner.
And a winner means that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
you know, and then it may be like coming in agreement
with an identity that is not you either.
And the best version of yourself
is your true identity in Christ.
And that is fun, that is exciting,
that is sincere, that is powerful,
that is devout, that is all those things.
Sorry, my hands, you know what I'm saying?
So you're moving to, like, your karate analogy,
or whatever, I'm sorry, I didn't say it right, karate,
whatever it was, your analogy of like,
you can do that move, but what if you can do this move?
It's like, I'm just changing one thing for another thing.
I'm changing my false identity for my true identity.
Yeah, it's still the same martial art as it's just,
hey, instead of only looking this way,
now you're able to look this way and that way.
Now you're actually progressing in this direction.
In other words-
You're still a martial artist,
you're still a Christian, you're still-
In other words, you're still David Van Royen,
you're just seeing life and doing life differently.
Absolutely.
I love it.
And I can see, I can see the change in you.
I mean, I've not known you long,
but I mean, I can just see even just, you know,
hanging out on these calls.
This is like the lowest form of, like, connection.
Like, we're on freaking Zoom.
Oh, I am sitting on the ground.
We have a certain level of connection and power
that's happening here.
The best we can do, and God's getting glory in it
because people's lives are changing.
We're getting better for it.
Thank you.
Thank you, David, for sharing.
Thank you for being vulnerable.
Thank you.
Still getting breakthrough?
Mike Anthony, you got your hands raised?
Yeah, I just wanted to circle back
to something I thought was really important.
So, you know, we were talking about fight or flight
and stuff, and a lot of times when you're fight or flight,
you're amygdala's firing,
so your memory's not working.
So when somebody's not working,
you're not getting the same results.
he says, you said this, the odds are they're right. And you're I
And so, you know, I think that's a big part of it.
mean, like, a lot of times you're wrong. So like to die on
those to die on that hill, you weren't you weren't cognizant,
you weren't working. And so I've seen a lot of pain in that way
with in that whole thing. So I just want you guys say you guys,
you own what you own, you didn't you. If you're if you're locked
in warrior mode, you put you might have said a lot of things
that you don't remember. And I just, but the key is not when
you blow it, it's how you make up for it. How you repair what
you do. And I can't and I love that you said you get lower, you
go low. And like the and like, I mean, because I you know, like
I bought it so many, you know, one of the reasons why I'm
really good at giving advice is because I've blown it so bad in
so many ways that I've learned how to like redo it. And you
know, it's not it's not whether it's like, are you going to get
back up? And are you going to own it? And are you gonna get a
crush it? Right? Are you gonna crush your ownership of what's
going on? And are you gonna repair? So um, yeah, so I just
I just wanted I just wanted to address that. Because I see it a
lot. And when people are like, in triggered situations, right?
My best friends. Why put in your fear? I didn't put in my fear. I
was trying to think of what my fear is. Do it. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna go into a conversation. I just want you to
do it just for Oh, no. So I just you know, I think my fear is
that God isn't good. And he's not gonna show up. Wow. Really?
Yeah. Coming from you. Yeah. Mr. Mr. prophetic, Mr. Voice of
God. See, doesn't think God's gonna show up. I'm, I'm sort of
like gesturing a little bit with that. Because I'm like, I'm not
challenging you at all. I'm like, Whoa, okay. You want a
straight up honest, you know, it's like, I know that you're
good. No lie to me, please. I know that it's here. I know it
here. Intellectually, intellectually, I know it all. I
mean, I see what's to come. Like, literally, I can see
pictures of what's to come up. But then I just, my life hasn't
changed in the last seven years, really. I mean, I've changed.
Right, you know, and I know that there's things that are about to
break through. Let me let me ask you, let me ask you this,
Mike. All right, even challenge, maybe even challenge a little
bit. What I hear you saying, I'll just reflect back to you.
And you tell me. All right. What I hear you saying. You said
this, a little phrase in the midst of a lot of things you
said, you said, my life hasn't changed in seven years. So life
hasn't changed in seven years. And then you're like, but I
have. No, so so I'm saying like, so wait a minute. Let me don't
explain it. Let me just tell you, let me just reflect back
to what I heard. Yeah. In that phrase. Because of what you said
your fear was. Yeah. Here's what I heard. And that some of you
some of you're shaking your head because I think you might have
heard it too, which was, I did my part. I did everything I was
supposed to do. But God has not done what he's supposed to do.
True or false? Is that a little bit of does that hurt? When I
say that it's more, I think it's no answer the question. Does
that hurt when I say that?
No, it doesn't hurt when you say that. I'm just tired. I got it.
Because I know, I know, eventually, he's gonna come
through. And it's not it's not the whole give to get both that
BS, right? You know, I mean, because I know he's, he's not
obligated to give me anything. Right? It's out of true, but it
is, but he is obligated to perform his word. And so in his
timing, which is the the one of my frustrations. Yeah, but I do
know that, you know, like,
here's the thing that I want to here's the thing when I am I
want to amplify Mike and I and I love you. Because I love your
heart. I love your knowledge. I love your gift set. I love you.
And I just want to I just want to amplify that for for everyone
else. Because I mean, even even Abram said he's Mike, Mike
bleeds, bleeds blood, like he's real, like he's real, dude.
Because the perception like from Abrams perception, maybe I'm
just assuming this because what you said there, he looks at Mike
is like, Mike's this man of faith. Mike's like this positive
dude, Mike's a man of prayer, man of prophecy, man of all
this concept, all these gifts set. And so it's like, he
doesn't have any issues. But like, he does, because you know,
we know that's not true. Because Mike's been
Vulnerable he's shared on this call before but I I want to amplify this that you know
A lot of people do feel that way Mike and I don't know. I'm not saying that this is you but this is kind
That's why I reflected back because I wanted you to to answer that to see if that was a reflection, but a lot of people
do
They actually blame God
Because their life's not going right
They don't want to be so hurt and disappointed again and again and again that they finally come to the point where like
It's not me. It's God
It's God's time. It's God's process. It's God being God and it's God just being and
That is that is not true
Well, and you got it always has to be it always has to be
Because God will answer that
Very clearly he did with Joe for instance
He's like, who do you think created the stars? You do you think put your life together? Who do you think gave you breath?
You know, and of course we're like, oh, yeah, no, you're right. Yes Lord, but at the same time
There's so many things that God is like
Not holding back from you not holding out on you
to the point like
We have to push ourselves. We do have to like
Pray into we do have to like where where can I come into agreement?
more
What how can I shift?
Not how can I do better? How can I you know, like how can I pick myself on my bootstraps? No, not like that
But how can I
How can I see?
the truth differently about who God is who I am and all that because what right now what's working for isn't working for me
What's happening isn't working for me. I'm exhausted
So Mike's prayer may be more like Lord. I need grace. I need a win. I need a uplift
I need like him pressing into that side of things
not necessarily like
Not necessarily like
Um, you know like
The the the like force of God but just like the the
Take it easy
Grace-filled God who wants to make the path straighter
Because he's weary and he's tired and the bible says don't be weary and well-doing
And we all would agree that mike's one of the guys is doing everything. He can while doing
We would all go. Hey is is mike doing good spiritually? We would all whether whether he is or not
We our perception is to say yeah, mike's one of the most
Strongest faith-filled guy dudes. I know we'll pray the you know paint off the walls if he has to
We'll speak the we speak the voice of the lord. That's our perception
Right well and even in that right like um
You know when you're called to something huge
Right, there's a huge the enemy comes just equally at you
Right like in some you know, and I just really I just know that the road i'm the road
I'm towing is not something that many people go and many people give up
And I can and I I do prophesy, you know, you know
Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and everything else will be added unto you, right?
You know, that's that is the thing. It's like lord. I'm just going to seek your your kingdom
And i'm going to let you work. I'm going to worry about your kingdom. You worry about mine
Absolutely, you know and I know that you're a warder of those who diligently seek him but that doesn't mean that um
I haven't been sleeping much because that's been attacked
Immensely. So, um, like so when i'm just weary
but
You know, it's co-laboring like lord. How do you want me to co-labor with you?
How can I collaborate to get through this and you got to realize that the enemy whatever he holds up
Gains interest
And I can't wait do you guys we're gonna have a party when that when that breaks open, dude
I'm, just you're gonna see you're gonna see
you'll hear me across the globe because i'll be like
Finally, yes, right, but like, you know, and so
Um, but we like yeah, don't give up and we're growing and um
Getting weary and that's that's one of my prayers this week is just been lord
I'm tired
Right. I'm tapped out. I don't want to be tapped out, right?
Um, and I just I just need an infusion and a win would be great a win would be amazing
Yeah, I agree. I'm gonna i'm gonna agree with that. Let's just let's just partner with that as we close out father god
I agree right now with every guy on this call every man on this call for a win
We need some wins lord
We really do we need some wins in this group some major
Major breakthrough wins and so father god, we just pray right
Now, Lord, for the wins, we pray right now, Lord,
for grace and mercy.
We pray now, Lord, for every man,
whatever they're focused in, whatever their issue,
whatever their obstacle is,
whatever the hurdle that's in their way right now
that they feel like they have to jump over,
Lord, let them be able to do it with ease and with grace
and with like a fluidity and just such a,
just not a problem.
Lord, so they can run the race they've been given.
And Father God, let there be wins.
I just pray and agree.
I add my faith to each man on this call
for wins, for breakthroughs,
significant wins and breakthroughs,
new jobs, new relationships, new meetings,
new breakthroughs in health,
new paradigm shifts, new ideas.
Somebody mentioned on here, a business,
they wanna start a business so bad
but they don't know what the idea is.
I pray for business ideas.
I pray for innovations.
I pray for there to be inventions,
that there to be just new paths, new streams of income.
I pray if it has to be a raven or a check in the mail
or a raven to bring bread like in the Old Testament,
that there would be checks in the mail
to even give it a jumpstart.
Like I know I had that in my life.
There was a one point in my life where I needed something
and I got a jumpstart because there was an infusion of cash
or there's an infusion of help
or an infusion of assistance or whatever it is.
I pray right now and I agree with every man on this call.
And they wouldn't be here
if they weren't believing for something.
They wouldn't be here
if they weren't extending their faith
for whatever they're believing breakthrough in.
So I just pray for them and I agree right now
for massive breakthrough in Jesus name, amen and amen.
Amen.
Lord, may you bring peace and connection
back to the dormant household.
Amen.
And actually that would be maybe even closer
than they were before, amen.
Hallelujah.
Guys, I love you.
God bless you.
Have a great week.
I'm gonna let you go because if you didn't notice,
that was my wife calling a few minutes ago
and she's like, what are you doing?
Where are you at?
I see you, I love you.
God bless.
God bless you.