Hey, how's moving? It's kind of crazy. Hey, Josh. So, um, just
so you know, this week, wait, is the 20th this week? It is,
right? Yeah. 17th today. So 320. Jackie and David are co
teaching your life starts now on the Thursday night thing. And
then on the 25th, which is next week, they have a single
spotlight. So they're saying email them if you want in on it.
So I just wanted to give you guys a heads up. And I'll remind
you at the end. So how's everybody doing? All right. I've
just made broke some barriers and I'm good. Jackie and Dave
have an event Jersey I plan to go. I wanted to spotlight but
they say I have to do date coaching with you. Okay. Yeah,
we've been trying. We've been trying to figure that out. It's
it's been kind of crazy. So we'll get her done. And I'm
trying to change my perception on dating instead of trying to
look at this person like, well, what can they do for me or what
I'm like, it's so much I willing to display or what can
I bring to the table? Or how can this person feel for me? No,
you just got to connect and become more intimate that that
is a better key.
Carl, what like, like, how about just getting to know people?
And like, I'm having an agenda.
That's what I was thinking, too.
Yeah. And how about coming at it? You know, women love safety.
Yeah. And they, they love to know what things are coming at
them. So being thinking about what you say, and like, you
know, I mean, this goes for everybody, like, a lot of times,
you know, like, women's primary need is safety. Right? You know,
the that's why you hear the gold digger, you know, the whole, the
whole gold digger is just a really a woman getting securing
safety in money, or safety, you know, I mean, like, you know,
but like, it's not. It's just a core need. It's, it's, and
they're just they're using that at it that that way. So like,
Connor, I would just encourage you to really work on being a
safe place for people. And, and seeing what and just chilling.
I mean, and, and you're a great guy, Hunter, and like,
that you did some just micro stuff I can work on.
Micro stuff is just just relax. Enjoy. Get to know people.
Rather than no agenda, don't think of them as just like,
hey, cool, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a great conversation with
this lady. Right? And I'm gonna help I want to I want her to
feel safe and secure. I mean, because you know, like, you
know, like, you know, that Jack and David talk about the divine
masculine, right? Like, okay, so, you know, the divine
masculine is, hey, somebody's coming to hurt somebody I love
or my family, I'm going to put them down. Right? Or I'm going
to defend my family. And then the other side of it is, like,
but I'm also going to be available, emotionally
available, and loving and kind to my family. Right? And, and so
like, the divine masculine is this, we use our strength to
protect, to cherish, to build like this, this greenhouse, where
a flower can grow or other people can grow. Right? And
like, you know, it's kind of one of the things that I talked
about this a lot. And you're gonna probably hear me talk
because it's so important. But I am so sick of hearing people
saying toxic masculine entity. Right? You know, I mean, those
are boys who haven't become men. Because real men protect real
men care, you know, not perfectly, like, but at least we
try. So anybody got some wins they want to share? All right,
Andy, let's go.
The second date with Christine that Canadian. That Canadian
woman who's a music teacher. The second date went well. And we're
planning on going to in person date next.
Sweet.
Being halfway.
Touchdown, baby. That's awesome. Congratulations.
Sweet.
Yep. So we'll see how that goes.
Proud of you, bro. And that's a long way.
I just have to be. Well, Canada is right next door to me. So
it's actually not that far. Oh, yeah. Um, I'm like, you know,
near Detroit. Yeah. So um, but it is going to be like a three
hour drive because um, that's where you have to meet halfway.
Yeah. But but yeah, you're in the game. I mean,
like, I think everybody here. We're rooting for you. I'm not
in the game.
I just have to be careful. Um, I just have to be careful. I'm
not to let slip that I don't believe viruses exist.
So, okay. Okay.
Well, like, I just had a conversation with Hunter, right?
You got like, you got to be you. If they can't handle you being
you then I mean, obviously, don't start out guns blazing.
And like, who did you I mean, like, who did you vote for? Like,
I have I've had like, chicks do that. And it's like, immediately
it's over. Like, you know, I mean, I talked about Bethel and
Redding. And all of a sudden, I get, you know, boop, they're
gone. And I'm like, you know, you know, there's things that I
mean, you don't even give it a chance to see if there's
something that you would even want. Because there's a lot of
things you may think that are life and death. But like I said,
but just be you. Be a safe place, be a strong tower, a
safe place. You know, you know, you don't have to flex you just
be you. I mean, so okay, so if you show up as Rico Suave,
right, and you're like, Hey, I'm like, I'm a stud, right? And
you're just not who you are. Then now you're now you're
starting a relationship with a phantom of you. And you're
gonna have to maintain that the whole relationship. Right?
Yeah, I've never I've never been like that.
No, but but what I'm saying, so but but but what you're saying
is, is, I'm not gonna mention this. No, I agree. First times
are supposed to be chill, lighthearted, really talk about
little things, right? And build something and be fun. Have fun.
I have I'll be just fully full, full disclosure here. I have a
tendency to get stressed. I usually have a lot of fun. But
when I go on dates, you get like the most stressed mic ever. Like
I'm not fun. I don't even want to be around me. And I'm like,
so I've been working on, like, breathing and just just coming
in. And like, so I say a pot kettle, right? I come in hot
sometimes. And like, like, Okay, I gotta think this, I gotta do
this, I gotta do that. And, and then I miss the whole time. And,
and then it turns into some sort of they don't want an interview.
Right? One of the girls like, so you know, that was, you know,
this was a really nice interview, but I would have
preferred a date. It's like, Oh, you know, so you know, just
just, you know, like, like I say, I keep it, I try to keep
it real. But Andy, just be you. And don't live in fear. See,
because if you're worried about I'm gonna say something wrong,
or I'm gonna do this, then you're not gonna, you're gonna
be tight. I mean, just go. That's true. Just go be the Andy
be Andy. Yeah. And if she likes Andy, and you like her, great.
Go forward. But don't don't live in fear. Just be you. And I
mean, no, no, no, I know. But it's just at the same time. It's
like, um, people think I'm crazy when I say that viruses don't
exist. So and and you know, and so okay, so answer me this
question. So when does that like that comes up on the fifth date?
Like, you might as well get it out. I'm like, if it gets out
of the way early. And it works like the whole a true
relationship is when you can be all of you. Good, bad and crazy.
Right? And they can be all good, bad and crazy. And you see it.
And you're like, I can deal with that good, bad and crazy. And I
you know, and then you have a problem partnership, you have a
crazy partnership. And you and you and you're fully known, and
you're fully loved. And you don't have to, like, I don't
want to show you this part of my life. So I got a full I got full
on preaching, guys. I'm sorry. But I've just seen in my life
where I screw it up. Because I get too analytical. And I'm not
me. And then after the date, and after the data is like, man, she
didn't even get to meet me. Because I just was so, so caught
up in my head.
Yeah, I guess I was just I was listening to my dad because my
dad thinks it would be not a good idea to bring that up. His
point of view is he thinks that he thinks it's like flat
earther type of deal. And, and it would just really be a huge
turnoff. So that's what
I mean, it's probably you could probably bring it in the second
or but you're eventually it's gonna, it's eventually it's
gonna come out eventually, right? Like, and like, yeah. So
you're not really disclosing and any like I see in the end, once
again, first date, you're supposed to be for building
connection to see if you even like the person trying to be
yourself. Right? And then you get some dates in. But I just
don't want you to live. I don't want if you're so here, if
you're worried about sharing this, and that's going to be a
turnoff. Well, odds are, you're probably going to do it because
you're thinking about it. Right? Because, you know, but you're
also tight and not you. Because you're, you're living in fear,
right? And so I just, I just want you to just be
free to be you. Does that make sense? And like, and whatever
and however that gets, I mean, I'm an extrovert, and I have a
different way, you know, I process externally, right. But
whatever gets you to where you need to go, do that. Does that
make sense? But I'm proud of you, bro. Like, this is huge
growth. Right. And, you know, thank you, Jesus. All right. Any
other wins? Mm hmm. I forgot to mention one, but unless someone
else wants to go,
Hunter, go. I got one. I had. Go ahead, man.
Las Vegas, David. Las Vegas, home of the Raiders. And yeah,
anyway, no one says it out loud. Only David here tonight.
There's a DJ. Yeah. Yeah. So um, so what's going on, Hunter?
What's your what's your breakthrough?
Well, you know, I've been struggling with loss and self
gratification. I managed to go eight days in a row without any
of it. Sweet record. I went it's haven't done this in like two
years. Last time I did was when I went abroad to Israel. Yeah.
And when I went to Israel, and then, and then also struggling
with it. And it's not a matter of just saying no, no, no to it.
The question is, you got to have your heart to it, too.
You have to have a purpose. And you have to have a vision and
you have to have. And so and here's the other and I'm proud
of you. Keep getting keep those streaks up. Because you hit 20
you hit 26 days, you hit 56 days, and then it's no longer
something that's owning you.
Not to mention, I'm down to once a week. But the more I go
without it, the more I have increasing boost in my ability
to build intimacy with someone.
Well, and you're not see and here's and the other thing is,
is when you're involved in all that you're looking at women as
some objects of affection. Yeah, or objects of other things. But
you know, but like, it kills intimacy. And it's gonna get
into a marriage, it's gonna kill your marriage.
I know I've been knowing that for 15 years.
So so but but 100 when I'm trying like you're doing great
eight days. Now get to get to down to every two weeks, then
every three weeks, then every four weeks, and then walk in
freedom. You know, Jesus came to set the captives free and he
who the sun sets free is free indeed. So you can be free.
Right, you know, and so go good job. All right, David, what's
going on? What's your what's your breakthrough?
Oh, I went on a date. Sweet. I did two dates. One was a video
date. A different lady was an in person date. And it worked
out really great. It's someone that I'm not typically sorry,
just wincing from the pain of my foot.
Ice ice, baby.
Soon here, I'm gonna go set out in a 42 degrees swimming pool
while on the call. That's about as close as I can get right now
with us. Yeah, but no. I don't know. The date was kind of
creepy in the sense of you ever have someone like almost like
research you? Like, I'm not saying she did this. But like,
it was just like so many things lined up with things that you
can't even find out about me on the internet. Like my ridiculous
love of inflatable T-Rex costumes, for instance. I mean,
yeah, like it's there on the internet. But unless you're like
really like looking at mishear the name, inflatable T-Rex
costumes that yeah, the one in Canada. Oh, I don't know what
you're talking about, Josh. But like, she's like, just said
something matter of factly of, oh, I have a stocker. Oh,
stalker. I see what you did there, Abram. Like she was
talking about how her unborn son in the sonogram looked like a
little T-Rex. And I looked at her like, who says that? Like,
I've never heard any woman ever described their unborn child as
a T-Rex.
I have to say neither have I.
She's like, Oh, you know, we had the tail and the little tiny
dangly. I'm like, No, I know what a T-Rex is.
Uh, just we had a lot of similar tastes in music and had a
appreciation for nostalgic video games. But
I like both of the which ones?
Super Mario Brothers Legend of Zelda. Oh, yeah. Super Nintendo.
She specifically named dropped The Lion King. Whereas I was
more like Street Fighter and other games, but we both
Love the original Final Fantasy VII.
She also, like, it just matter of factly came up
of parenting style of, no,
kids don't need a bunch of video games.
We had video games because we were blessed and lucky
before we realized, you know,
the effect that they have on the human brain.
So just like, she's like about seven
or eight years younger than me.
Like a bit chubby.
She like listed herself as curvy,
and I was like, ah, you're a bit more chubby, but whatever.
I didn't-
Did you say that?
Did you really?
I didn't say this on the date
because you never talk about a woman's, you know,
appearance.
I was like, I figured you had more time for that.
Unless she wants to talk about it type of thing.
Like, hey, I need help with weight loss
and you're ridiculously good looking, you know?
Because like, just stuff came up where she's like,
well, how do you, how can you even get to doing like
eating in a three hour window every day?
I'm like, I used to be a lot heavier, like 250 pounds.
So it just spiraled into that conversation,
but it didn't sound, it didn't come from a shameful point.
And she didn't take it in a repulsive way.
She was like, teach me, master.
Which is cool.
I mean, like, cause with like David,
like what I know of you, you need somebody who's active.
So if somebody isn't able to be active,
I don't see them as a good match for you
because you're constantly moving, right?
Yeah, well, mostly other than like right now, but.
Yeah, well, you got a book.
That'll kind of work for you.
I mean, I'm even tempted right now.
I'm like, you know, if I just soak my foot for five minutes,
I feel like I could get a hike in today.
If you want to get a hike in tomorrow.
It'd be the slowest hike ever, but.
Yeah.
But no, it was just like,
it was supposed to be like a 30 minute date.
She had never had custard in her entire life.
So I was like, okay, we're remedying that.
So if it's in my favorite custard place here in Vegas,
Nielsen's frozen custard, it's great.
If you're ever out.
I've never had a frozen custard.
So I'm like, oh, interesting.
Oh man, it's like ice cream with eggs essentially.
And it's like, it's served at a constant temperature.
So the temperature never dips.
Like ice cream is like served like much colder.
And then it just really not as great.
Anyhow, we already are talking about a second date
and a third date past that just kind of, I guess, giddy.
So it just feels good to be chatting with someone.
And, you know, like you pointed out for Hunter,
it's not an agenda.
It's just like,
I really enjoy getting to know this person.
You know, this person's already like establishing
like a firm basis for friendship with me.
Yeah.
And like, and she's well aware that I'm moving away
and it's just.
Oh, I was going to ask about that.
Like, it's just, yeah, it will.
It's on my dating profile.
Cause I'm just like, well, might as well be open with that.
And then like only attract, you know, ones that are
like, I don't feel like I'm wasting their time.
Like I'm not trying to trauma dump or anything or,
but it's just like, hey, this is my situation.
So.
Well, and I love that you're straight up, right?
Because like, if you start a relationship, you know,
I love that you're doing a friend.
Okay. So you guys, great marriages start
or built on great friendships, right?
Like if you can't be friends, then like,
I mean, you're supposed to be friends your whole life.
I mean, like, you know, I like, you know,
but like at the same time, you know, being straight up
and legit and basic and building your relationship
on trust is the other building block, right?
So if you're like, wait, oh, you know,
and so I just love that you're doing that, David,
like you're building a friendship
and you're actually being straight.
I I'm, I'm a straight up dude.
You know what I mean?
I know Abrams pretty straight up.
It's like, it doesn't suit you to hide things.
I mean, now don't, now don't dump your.
Yeah. I was going to say there's some things
I'm not going to bring up for like a while until like.
But, but, but like, okay, you're moving, right?
Yeah.
Like if somebody like, oh, you're dating me
and you knew you were moving, right?
That can bring, that can bring up all kinds of crap.
Right. Whereas.
Absolutely.
Right. And so, no, I mean,
you don't want to trauma bond with people, right?
Like, so you started out simple, you know, and so cool,
but anybody else got anything they want to share?
Clayton, how are you doing?
It's good to see you.
I'm doing all right.
Yeah. I've actually wanted to discuss
because with my situation,
it's kind of when it rains, it pours.
So story is that I've been talking to.
Um, somebody, you know, nothing serious talking to somebody from November.
And, uh, so sh I mean, we hit it off just fine.
I mean, she's really nice, really, really sweet.
And this weekend she asked me, so, you know, what are we, you know, what are we
doing?
And immediately I've been thinking about that and I've been thinking, like, I've
been very mindful of that because I really don't want to be wasting her time
if I'm not feeling it.
But at the same time, I can't help, but like, okay, I really liked this lady.
She's very nice, very considerate.
Um, she's really different, but you know, I don't have that initial, I never had,
I didn't have that initial reaction of like, Hey, she's attractive.
And I don't know if I'm still finding that because, you know, I'm not saying
that she, well, I'm not, she's not bad looking, but I mean, she's, I think, and
this may be a little bit harsh, but to me, she looks like a little plain Jane.
No, I mean, like we're here to be straight up, right?
Like, so, uh, but do you find her attractive in other ways?
Like intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, because okay.
Physical attraction, right.
Is important, but it's also not, it's one of four, right.
And that's the one that fades over time.
And I'm not, and I'm not, I'm not trying to force you into it.
I just, I just, I need to, I want to ask the question, like, because it sounds like you
dig her, right.
You know, like the, the looks are, looks are something that is an issue and, and that's
a valid issue, right.
Um, but like, and you say she's attractive, but she's just plain, right.
Um, I mean, so what, what, so other than that, what are, um, like, what do you, what
do you like about her?
Well, you know, she has the same upbringing as I do.
Um, because I think that she grew up around cattle and horses.
So, so much as I did.
Um, so she's a, she's a teacher right now.
So, and she lives close by.
She lives like, um, she lives in the same area as I do and very nice.
I can tell that she's very pleasant.
Um, and we do have conversations, but it's, I don't know, it's not intellectually,
um, striking, if that makes sense.
Emotionally speaking, I think she's really healthy and that's what really draws me to
her.
Okay.
Um, yes, definitely got a good head on her shoulders.
But like, so, um, you know, and it sounds like you guys have met in person, right?
Oh yeah.
So like, so yes, okay.
So plain Jane, you know, she's kind of drab.
She probably doesn't do a lot of makeup.
It sounds like, or whatever she's doesn't really, but like, what is the chemistry
between you guys?
Is there chemistry between you guys when you're together?
Yeah, let's say so.
See, okay.
So that there, like, you know, um, that, so the whole plain Jane thing, you know, um,
it's like, she has to be without makeup.
Is she attractive to you?
I mean, like, she doesn't have to be like doctor.
The reason why I'm asking is like, you know, women are all, aren't all, if you're
only attracted to somebody when they're all dolled up, right?
Like that's not, that's not the constant state of life for women.
Right.
And so, but like, if she's attractive enough and you guys have chemistry, I mean,
when she gets dolled up, then it can be a whole nother level.
Right.
And like, and women relate to that.
Jackie's really big on that, helping women like do that.
You know, it sounds like she, if she's out there on a, on a ranch, she probably
isn't, wasn't something that she really has put a lot of thought into.
Right.
So I don't know.
I, I just, so I hear like emotionally connect maybe, I mean, cause you are a
really bright guy, Clayton.
And so like, so intellectually, um, you know, I mean, I, I just, um, I would, I
would just list out.
So what, what don't, so other than the plain Jane, is there anything that you're
like, no, I mean, are you guys, could you guys, could you see being good friends
with her?
Oh yeah.
Most definitely.
Okay.
So like you have chemistry, you could be good friends.
Like you see that, right.
She's a good, she's a good woman.
Right.
Um, sounds like just the, just the lack of, um,
pop, I guess.
Yeah.
Cause that, those are really good things to build on.
Yeah.
You know, I don't, the beauty will fade.
Yeah.
And, and so I married my, my ex was smoking and then she just went, I mean,
cancer kind of does some stuff to you.
Right.
And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
and chemo, but like, we built our relationship,
I mean, it lasted 20 years,
but like the beauty part,
it is important to have attraction, right?
Like, you know, there are days where she looks like hell,
most days, right?
But like, you know, and then you have date nights
where she'd get dolled up, right?
So, but we didn't have the depth of friendship,
like we, our friendship didn't grow very,
I mean, it started out and it kind of plateaued, right?
And it never got really deep.
And if this is somebody you can see
having a great friendship,
that's the basis of a great marriage, right?
If you have chemistry,
chemistry is more important than attraction.
Right.
Right, like, and so I just, you know,
I'm not telling you to do one thing or the other,
but it sounds like you've got a good gal there, you know,
but you actually, but you have to reconcile it with you,
right?
And you have to know, and you ask the Lord,
you know, Lord, is this what,
and don't, and I'm not saying that to,
so many people spiritualize things, right?
Well, you know, it's like, no, you just don't like them,
or you're like, this is a, this was a not,
like, do you have a list of non-negotiables?
Yeah, I really do.
And so how does she fit that?
Well, I mean, she, she hasn't,
she hasn't gone against those non-negotiables, honestly.
So that's, so that's a plus, right?
Those are green flags.
I mean, the fact that you have a commonality
of like where you've lived and you kind of have a,
that is huge too, is because you guys kind of,
you kind of have the same,
a similar upbringing, a commonality in that.
So you guys are gonna get, have a lot of,
you're gonna get a lot of the things that,
like Clayton, if you and I are hanging out,
like there's gonna be things that you,
just because of how you grew up,
that you're gonna say something,
and I'm gonna be like,
I have no idea what he just said, right?
Like, you know, or what, like, I don't know,
I may have heard what you say,
but I don't know the context,
and I never lived on a ranch or in Texas, right?
So there's little nuances.
Right.
And so I just, I mean-
Well, and part of the conundrum is,
is that, well, you know,
I kind of want to see like where this may go in.
And she and I were on the same page as far as like,
you know, like we've been talking for a while,
we don't want to waste each other's time.
So I'm like, well,
I want to dive in a little bit deeper into it,
but my worry is, is that, well, we're both in our,
like, I'm 31, she's 30.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I don't want to waste her time,
you know, just be emotionally connected.
So, but I hear you saying you want to see more.
Yeah.
I don't think that's wasting her time.
Okay.
Like, honestly, like, okay, so if,
like, okay, let me ask you, let me ask you a different way.
If you don't go to see more, will you regret it?
Will you look, can you look back?
A little, yeah.
So don't, live a life without regret.
Take the shot, look.
And if it goes well, amazing, right?
If it doesn't, you tried.
And you get, and give it a wholehearted effort, right?
But like, I would hate to see you like, dude,
I wish I would have taken that shot, right?
And, you know, and hopefully you had a home run, you know?
And like, but yeah, you have something,
you have something and I would, I would just,
I would just wholeheartedly pursue it and jump in.
And express to her, it's like, hey, I want to,
I want to see where this can go.
Yeah.
Well, you know, another part of the conundrum is,
is that it's not just her,
but I'm also talking to another woman.
Mm-hmm.
Now, nothing serious, of course, though,
but you know, she's more physically,
I'm more physically attracted to her.
She and I, we engage in more intellectual talks
a lot more than this, than the single woman, with no,
but the problem is that the caveat is that, you know,
she's a single mother
and I don't want to downplay single mothers though,
but I've stressed about this.
Like, I don't know how I feel about it, honestly.
Which is a valid point, right?
Like, I mean, being an instant dad is,
it's an honor, but it's also a huge,
it can be a huge responsibility.
Right.
You know, and like, if you, and, and, you know.
So it sounds like, you know,
now, so the first the first guy you're talking about,
have you tried to have an intellectual conversation with her?
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess.
Well, as far as intellectual is concerned, like it's just mainly about.
We talk about a couple of things,
either with horses or airplanes or families and whatnot, but not in the.
Deeper sense, though,
which I probably want to try that because she's honestly a teacher.
Yeah, but but with this other lady,
the single mother, she's a little bit more natural at it.
Well, and if she's been in a relationship
before, she might have developed it as well.
Right. You know,
what sounds like you have one who's, you know, I would.
You know, like it sounds like it, but you do you do value that,
you know, regardless, I see that you value that intellectual conversation.
Right. You know, and so so I would try.
I mean, you can you can choose to do whatever you like.
Right. I just but it seems like the first one she she wants.
And it's and it's honest for her to want to know what you guys are doing.
I mean, that's that's legitimate. Right.
And it sounds like you want to see where it'll go.
Right.
But but if you're going to go there, then the other one has to go.
But it seems like you're kind of you're kind of.
Now, honestly, I think my mind's made up
because, like, I really I tried telling her this and telling her this,
like, I really don't know how I feel about.
And I mean, I mean, we're already talking
about like, hey, if you need to you need to know, understand about my situation,
like if you're going to try to date me, like I'm going to be mutually exclusive.
I'm like, well, we don't know each other yet.
So I don't like that idea.
So which which one is this the first or second second?
Yeah. And she's got a kid which you're really not really.
So like the second one just sounds like.
It's not a position that you really want to be in, even though you do appreciate
the intellectual conversation and the and the attraction.
But but the other one, you know, I mean,
and that's a whole nother thing is like if you guys can get into a level
of intellectual conversation, it'll also increase the attraction.
Like, you know, that's something that can build if it's if it's if she's capable.
But it sounds like she's a teacher.
So she's got to be smart.
I mean, you know, and like so I just yeah, I think.
You know what?
To do, and I would just encourage you to take the jump.
Sounds like I haven't heard anything that would would.
I just think so sometimes you guys like
the and this is something I'm learning and I'm not I'm preaching from learning.
So I'm not pretending to be a Ph.D. on this.
OK, I just be both.
But my whole thing is
for so long and this is what got me with my ex.
We had that huge flash.
We had that huge I mean, the attraction was stupid.
Right.
And then our relationship was terrible
because we built it on attraction and sex and all that stuff.
And our friendship, actually.
And like I found that I think you guys are looking for the slower burn.
Like, yeah, it may not be get those endorphins jacked up.
But if you are attracted to the person, you can that'll grow.
And, Kenton, you know,
I really am interested in what you want, what you're getting.
You're a wise guy.
No, no. But like, can you chime in?
What do you think? What is your opinion?
I don't want to be the only person talking.
And but Clayton, I'm proud of you, bro.
I mean, I love how honest you're honest.
You're looking at this and you're looking at it head up.
And that's really, really good.
Mm hmm.
Well, yeah.
Well, also, I don't want to steal more time, but I don't want to steal more time
now, but because there's that, too, and then there's another one
coming to Amarillo and she's flying from Oregon.
She's coming to Amarillo and we've been talking for a while and I but I haven't
seen her in person, so I'm like, I don't want to jump the gun too quick
because this third person like I'm honestly very attracted to.
I think that she's a really good down to earth good soul.
But I don't think she's as much of a believer.
See, that's that is a that's also a key component, right?
You know,
has OK, spiritually, you know, just like intellectually, you talking with somebody
like, you know, being able to talk spiritually with somebody, too, is really
important to be able to express and talk right now.
Can I can I tag you just for.
OK.
It's good to see you guys. Sorry I'm late tonight. I just got off work off the truck,
so it's nice to be with you guys once again. Of course, I got in late, so I don't know
if the subject matter of unearing a little bit was going on, but I did hear that last
portion about her being spiritual or not. That's, guys, for us believers, that's not
even a choice for us, because Christ made it so simple. He did say, do not be unyoked.
It's not His commandment. That could be in a lot of different things, in the way we think,
the denomination we might be in. I'm not saying you have the same denomination, but
if her faith is not as strong as, at least, well, I'm going to take that back, because
some girls are still learning as well, too, and they're very mature and growing quickly.
They've got to be sold after God. They can be an anchor. We saw that with the wisest
man in the world, Solomon. I mean, he was taken down. David was taken down. These were
solid men of God. And so we have to start it off right by making sure we are choosing
a woman who loves our Lord, who has the same morals and standards you do. Can be in the
same denomination? Not necessarily. Doesn't need to be speaking in tongues and baptized
in the Holy Spirit, because you'll be leading your home according to how you live your life
with Christ. And if you have a strong relationship with Him, your relationship is going to be
automatically going to draw the woman into that relationship. Now, if it doesn't draw
that woman in—I've been involved with a few women in the past, and I've had to give
them up pretty quick, because they just, you know, it was nice to go for the ride. Nice
to know that they're with a godly man and somebody who could pray with them and even
prophesy over them. But they themselves were not ready for a relationship of that type.
And so I had to leave that relationship and say, you know what, it's just not going to
work out. And I gave them the answer why it's not going to work out. Always be honest, upfront
with them, and letting them know that we don't have to let them know their faults. Just saying,
no, it's not just going to work out here. I'm just, I'm not feeling that it's going
to be a good opportunity for us to get together. And so I'm just going to leave it at that.
It's easier to make that decision sooner than later, of course. And you should know that
pretty much right up front, gentlemen. I mean… Because it's critical in, like,
the core of how you're raising your kids, right? You know, like, I mean, like, it goes all down
through how you handle money. I mean, like, it's foundational. That's what I was looking for.
You know, our faith is foundational. And the fact that you're… And for me, I want to be able to
share, like, with my best friend. Like, this is what God's teaching me. And like, and like,
and that's a whole nother level of bonding. Right? You know, like, intellectually, you bond
and you attract, right? You know, I learned after my first marriage that I need somebody who I can
have an intellectual conversation with. My ex, we couldn't. And I just found that's something that
I really value. And all you guys, like, you know, like, if you go out on a date, and even if it
doesn't work out, take notes on, like, what did I like about this lady? Right? What was something
that stood out that… And start writing a list of what you actually want, right? And what's
important to you. And you can tear them, right? You can't expect more from them if you yourself
don't have it. Does that make sense? If you do not have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ,
then you want that from her and from both of you. Well, you can't expect that from her. Or vice
versa. Or if she has a strong relationship with Jesus, and you're not all that and a bag of chips,
and she's going to be, like, trying to pull on you on that. You know, like, you want to be equally
yoked in that way. So, Abram, like, I just talk about, like, well, you guys experienced me talking
about a lot of stuff, right? Like, I like, like, even tonight, we're having a great conversation on
relationships, right? And somebody who I can actually talk about anything to at any level,
you know, I have a friend who is a doctor, and she's, we have this, we just, we go, we've gone
the, we go the gamut. We have great combos, right? And so, I theorize a lot of things. So,
I'll be, like, hey, Abram, you know, what is the best pizza, right? Like, you know, but, like,
you know, when you get into the pizza, Abram, how about, like, I mean, crust is key. Like,
but what are the little nuances and little things in making?
you know, pizza and the alchemy of pizza that makes the best
crust. Right? You know, and like, what are the little things
you can do? Because there's there's dominoes, which is
horrific, right? Like, and then there's, then you bite into some
other pizzas. And you're like, Oh, my gosh, this is heaven.
Right? You know, and so and just to be able to have, like, even
if I don't know anything about pizza, Abraham, I knew if I
talked to you for an hour, I would walk away knowing a lot
more. And I'd be like, dude, that's great. Am I ever going to
start a pizza place? No. But when I make pizza next time, I'm
gonna be thinking about it. Right? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Sorry.
If I slayed anybody's sacred dominoes, Cal, I apologize. But
you know, dominoes is garbage. Yeah, I'm like, so you know what
you do with the dominoes pizza, you throw the pizza out and you
eat the box. Okay. You know, like,
have you guys discussed about love languages to
know? You know, I can. No, I'll jump. That's a great idea. I'll
jump into that in a minute. But David, you had something you
wanted to say? I mean, I see your hand raised.
Yeah. Um, one thing that changed the way that I date was that I
would actually pray on the date, whether we're sharing a meal
together or with the girl that I hit things off with and 30
minute date turned into a three hour date of just talking and
well me inhaling custard in 30 seconds and her taking like 45
minutes to get through it. And she's like, how do you inhale
food? I'm like, Oh, I inhale all my food. Yeah. Either way. I
like stuck my foot in my mouth because she was saying something
about like, oh, it's so hard like getting like, my eyeliner
right and blah, blah. And I just like a guy, I just tried
to fix the situation versus empathize with her. And it was
like that talking about like, oh, my credit card got hacked.
And, you know, I can't just go and pick one up from the bank
directly. And they have to mail me another one. And I try to say
something to the effect of, oh, well, you know, you just have
them ship it to your USPS. And she's like, Well, hon, that
would work except I live in Moapa, which they don't even
deliver that far out from Vegas city center and blah, blah. And
not blah, blah, like not important. Blah, blah. Like I
can't remember what you said other than that. Um, what I so I
I just grabbed her hand and just started praying that I don't
remember what I said exactly in the prayer, but it was just that
you know, God seeks her in her time of need and rectifies this
problem that she doesn't want or not for financial risks nor
opportunities that she's like covered by the mighty hedge of
protection. I just went on for like two minutes of just praying
for and she just like looked at me like that was awesome. I'm
like, really? Because I feel like I just stuck my foot in my
mouth even further. Because I feel awkward whenever I pray.
And kind of speak to that, you guys. Yeah. I mean, I pray a
lot. And sometimes I feel like the Flintstones like I'm saying
yabba dabba doo. Like, like, you know, like, like, I don't know
if you ever had that thing like, you know, like, you know, but at
the end, it's just the enemy lying to you. Right? Even if
you pray the most horrible prayer, it's still effective.
Oh, yeah. Right. Like, and so, but like, David, you also still
like, did you hear what David said? He's like, you know, I
tried to fix it. Like women don't want like, like, 99.7% of
the time, they don't want it fixed. They just want to be
heard. And, and cherished. Because it's like, when you
listen to them, you know, we're like, okay, blah, blah, blah,
you know, like, it's like, would you just fix it already? Right?
Like, it's like, like, it's a 30 second fix. And, but for them,
they want to, they want to go on the journey. They and they may
ask, usually they figure it out on their own. But if you walk
the journey with them, and then David, that's a great way of
praying, actually, recovering and praying, because you're
caring about her heart. Right? Listening to them express what
what is bothering them. So we have boxes that we put stuff in,
right? We're like, okay, we're, we can single task, we can put
things in a box. And we're like, yeah, the workbox is here, you
know, this box is here. Women can't do that. They're there,
the hemispheres of their brain are interconnected, right? So a
lot of the ways they fix those
hemispheres, is by just talking through it. And they a lot of
times, people think that women are emotional. And that's true.
But most of their emotion is based on logic, if you can trace
it back to the conclusion, or to the origination. And so because
I used to think all women were like completely feelings and
this and that. But I got my butt handed to me a couple times.
We're like, No, yeah, I'm emotional. But like, it's
because of this, you jerk. Like, Oh, sorry, my bad. Like, you
know, and so but yeah, um, that's great, David, that you
actually recognize that I have, dude, I have to get, you know,
because I'm not dating a lot. I get into the dude syndrome where
we're like, because we all say, Hey, bro, I get you know, my
car, I got this on the dash. And like, you know, you're like, Oh,
yeah, you need this, you know, this a couple of paper clips,
some duct tape, and some super glue, you put it together, and
it works like your boom. But like women, like, when I get
around women, I need I have a lot of times I don't switch
that, that zone, too. I just gonna be here and be for them
and get to know them and care about their heart. So but no,
that's, that's super good. And Ken, Ken touched on just the
like, have you guys who who here has read the five love
languages? Got 123. So we got about, okay, so, you know, that
is such a, and you know, and you guys, I don't know if in your
experience, maybe you guys have a different experience than me.
But like, usually, like, the person that you connect with has
a different love language, and you actually have to stretch to
meet it. Like, I was like, why can't you have the same love
language? It'd be so easy. Right? But in that that's part
of loving somebody. But um, especially if so one of the
things that I didn't know early on is I work. Yeah. We give and
receive love language differently. Yeah. So I didn't
know I was a touch love language. Right? So like, when
my ex would come up and give me a hug, I'd be like, Oh, she
loves me. Right? Like, you know, like, I had no idea. So if you
have touch as a love language, you really, you know, for me, my
choices, I'm, I try to keep the physical out of all
relationships, I can keep my head clear. Right? Because, and
you know, or at least early, at least early on, right, you know,
because that'll cloud your head. And because I've lived it. And
so I, I think, you know, if somebody is like really serving
you, and your acts of service, are they, if they're just a
people pleaser, and you have an acts of service, I mean, that's,
I guess it could work, but it's not the best thing, if they're
doing it out of brokenness. But if it's somebody, if they're a
caring person, you see how it can be a little complicated. If
you don't know your level on love language, it's something not
to be afraid of, but just to know, and, and then learn
whoever your dating's love language, right? Or and when you
have kids, your kids love language. I have two quality
time. So we do I do a lot of gaming with my boys. Right?
Because there are two quality time and one of their quality
times is gaming. Right? And you know, and like, but I tried to
get them to do my stuff, but I ended up joining them. And so
games, why we did Breath of the Wild, we did Tears of the
Kingdom, Xenoblade Chronicles, Mario Party. I mean, my son has
like 55 games. So like, but just but really, it lets me I joined
their world. Right? They have another one. It's Xenoblade X
is coming out next week. And I'm like, do I want to buy it?
Absolutely not. Am I gonna buy it? Yeah. Why? Because I get to
be part of their their world. And it's something that's
important to them. Right? And so and so I so but anyways, just
to get back Clayton, I think you're on a great path. And I
think you know what to do. And I think if you put if you take
your step forward, and you go a little deeper, you'll get the
answers. Get the answers you're looking for. Right? Like, you
know, some of some of it's just giving opportunity. Right? And a
woman who is feeling Oh, here's another thing about commitment,
guys. Right? When you're dating multiple people, and you have a
woman who's engaging with you, and she knows that or she's not
you haven't locked her in. Right? She's not feeling safe,
completely safe. Not that you know, there's security about
saying, Hey, I want to go. I'm gonna I'm ready to commit to
you and see
how this goes. I mean, marriage is the ultimate commitment, but
just saying, Hey, it's, you know, I just want to go
exclusive with you, you will be a then she will feel the value
and the safety to actually open up more. But until like safety
brief opens up, or okay, let me phrase that safety can open up
greater levels in the relationship, because then they
can express more things without fear of you leaving for another
lady that because you're dating five of them, right, you know,
so, um, but, Josh, I, I have been super busy. What's new with
you? You feel like sharing anything?
Yeah, you're on mute. It's mutiny.
Am I the only Josh in here?
I think so. You're the one I was talking to.
Hold on. I'm looking. Is there someone behind you?
Yeah, okay. So so the black box dominoes. Okay, you know, like,
you know, I, I just want I'm never gonna try it, but I'll
take your word for it.
I know. I wouldn't care too much. I just, if you Yeah, I
don't recommend dominoes to anyone unless you try the black
box and toss pizza, but I'm not here to sell you a pizza.
Yeah, yeah.
How are you?
I'm all right. I'm, I guess I'm going for another round of
trying to pull through the hard work because I've been stuck at
chapter nine, part three for months. And I every first round
I got, you know, I was doing it consistently. And then I got to
chapter nine, and I got to the questions at the end, and then
boom, like hitting a brick of walls. And then I'm like, I'm
reading the questions. And I'm trying to figure out why am I
having a hard time with the questions? Like, it's almost
like the words aren't even there to answer them. And it's like,
I'm stuck. There's something weird here. So I time went by,
and I didn't do anything with it. And then eventually, maybe
six, eight months down the road. I'm like, okay, this weekend,
I'm gonna try again, round two. This was like last year. So
I spent an entire weekend going from rereading the hard work
from the beginning, I hit brick wall again. And this time, and
I was like, why? Why is it so hard? I feel like I almost need
someone one to one to hold my hand through these questions. So
then recently, I I'm like, man, I need to something's got to
change in my life. I got something's got to give I need
to do like another round three. And I'm not doing it to like, my
motivation for the hard work is not, you know, I want to get a
date or a woman or anything. It's more like, you know, the
longer I've been in part of last year single and you know, coming
to these men's meetings on a Monday, and I try to participate
in at least in the supernatural Saturday as well. But the longer
I've been coming, you know, the more I and I would hope this
would be true for other people to or maybe some relatable thing,
you know, that the more I realized, you know, I need I
need Jesus. But there's always something to work on. And you'll
never get to a point where it's almost like one of those
questions of where you somehow respond, or the person responds,
like, I don't feel ready to get married, or I don't feel ready
to have kids. Maybe that one's a better example. But then it's
like, yeah, nobody is like that. You know,
yeah, I was gonna say, I don't know anybody I've ever met that
was like, I was ready to have kids. I was like, or I was ready
to get married. It's one of those things where you got to
take that jump, right?
Yeah. So anyway, then this round three, I figured out, you know,
hey, wait, you know, some technology here has progressed
and whatever. I'm usually good at just vocalizing things. So I
I've, I've been trying this out. And so far, I'm really loving
it. Okay, I got my thing out. Where did I have it? I got my I
got my. Oh, there you go. Right. So I'm reading through it. And
instead of using pen and paper to write thoughts, I'm like,
okay, if I ever get triggered, or or not necessarily triggered,
but like, there's thoughts that come to me on something I read,
or I get to the questions, and I want to answer them. I just
take my phone out and use Google Recorder to just, you know, like
a memo, audio record everything. And the nice thing about Google
Recorder is that it will automatically transcribe. And
since I'm in my own private space, I can control the noise
levels and get a clear
transcription. Then what I can do is I can feed that transcription, the audio recordings written
part into something like into AI, like Anthropic Cloud and have it polish it up as though I wrote
it in a journal in the first place. So it gets rid of any quirks of speech and the ums and uhs
in it and stuff like that. And then I figured out that, hey, you know, I can incorporate,
I can take the ebook, turn that into text, into a specific kind of formatted text, and then
integrate it with my transcription and then have a, and from that I can actually get advice
or guidance on problems. So I'm hoping that when I get to chapter nine, I can uh, I can figure out
what is actually the deeper thing that's going on in me, that why, why can't I get through the
chapter nine questions. So I haven't gotten there, I just finished chapter one, you know,
just this last weekend, so maybe this weekend I'll make enough progress in another chapter or two,
but. What is chapter nine, Josh? Chapter nine,
um,
wrong one.
Yeah, I, I wish I knew all that cartwork thing. So you guys, you know, one of the things like I,
like today, sorry, while Josh is looking, um, I realize I'm hung up on something,
right? I, I've been doing so many years of inner healing, like, you know, you would think I have,
I have a PhD in it, but I'm like, you know, I need to go back and talk to my counselor for a bit
and like, and work through this thing that's kind of kicking my butt, right? And like, um,
anxious attachment, I've been doing really good with it, but then every once in a while it flares
up hardcore, right? And today it was one of those days where I was like, um, feeling stupidly
anxious and I'm like, you know, there's, there's a little kid in me that's still not healed,
right? You know, there's something that, you know, and so I was like, oh, and so I've been
processing through that, but like, if you're hung up on something, we can seek help, right?
Like, you know, um, you know, I, I just realized I need, I need, I, I want to be free. And you
know, when the Lord brings something up, it's so he can set you free. You know, I call it revealing
for healing, right? Like what's revealed. He wants to, whatever he reveals is so it'll be healed.
Did you figure out Josh? Um, yeah, I got it. So chapter nine, the title of it is healthy,
healed and whole hearts. And even though it doesn't sound like much, it's like a whole whopping
15 pages. Um, so many physical pages to flip through. Um, but the questions on it are,
and I'll just hit them real fast, just so that you get an idea of what's at the end of it.
Um, questions ask, list three things that make you unique.
Second question. Have you ever been stuck or are you currently stuck?
It's the question, Josh. It has nothing to do with you. It was just a question stuck.
You mess up, feel guilty, ask for forgiveness, but then eventually just do it again.
What sin do you keep committing and can't seem to break free from? Do you beat yourself up when
you fail? What are some of the things you say to yourself? Do you expect harsh discipline or
punishment from God when you screw up? What are some words you would use to describe God's demeanor
toward you when you sin? What are three of the lies you have believed that you need to repent
from? One, two, three. Do you feel pressured to have it all together? By who? Do you find yourself
hiding your real feelings or pain because you are worried about what people might think of
you or you don't want to make other people uncomfortable? Do you hide when you cry?
When is the last time you told someone about something you were struggling with?
Do you have any secrets? Are you ready to tell? Man, I just feel like I get hit with a brick.
No, dude, that's a list. That's a gauntlet, man.
That's three pages.
But you know, the cool thing about Jackie and what she's done, like I've done a lot of inner
healing modalities and I really like how she compiles them all and brings them together.
But like, if you can get through that list, Josh, you're doing great. Because like some of those,
I'm like, well, yeah.
some work, some more work. Yeah. Okay. Need some work. Like, you
know, it's about you guys, it's about pushing forward and
progress. It's and just the only way you lose is if you don't
keep staying the game. Right. Just keep pushing forward. Right.
And so, and I'm proud of you all for being here. Right. And so I
just we got an hour over time, if you guys want, but like, you
know, Zach, how are you doing? I just want to kind of check in
with everybody. And we kind of went all over the place tonight.
But Zach, how are you doing?
I'm good. Actually, I didn't get to mention it last week. But I
just was in Mexico last week from Tuesday to Saturday. Did a
little solo travel group company called flashback if you guys
have heard of it. It's for solo travelers and like their 30s
and 40s. It was it was a fantastic trip. I had a little
bit of a health scare. But, you know, between obviously God's
grace and everybody that was on the trip with me, you know, they
took care of me and a big time of need. But you know, it was a
fantastic trip just spent the last two days trying to recover
and get reacclimated back to society. But yeah, that was it
was great.
Well, good to hear. I'm sorry you had a health scare, but I'm
taking care of you know, but like it was your cover. That's
amazing. Yeah. And it's cool. You know, you guys we need
adventure. You know, if your life is stale, it's because you
know, and you're depressed. A lot of it is because you don't
have adventure in your life. Right. So way to go on an
adventure. You know, you know,
like, for example, one thing I did to prevent depression after
a breakup is go on Israel was I planned it even if I'm talking
to someone on upward because you have no guarantees. And do
you got even more and it turned out great. And I'm more happy
from it.
Yeah, well, good job. But like, see, like, even hunter just
testifies to it, right? Like, you know, one of the things I
realized is like, my life's up in the air. So I've kind of been
holding and if you guys if you get if you guys are just sitting
there waiting, and you're not actually taking ground, you're
dying. Because we're made we're made to conquer, right? Like and
so even if it's like picking up a new sport or whatever, like
picking up on Yeah, or like, you know, I keep I have a love
as well. Yeah, love hate with my guitar, right? You know, I get
decent with it. And then I get really busy and then aren't any
good anymore. But so cool. Zack, I'm glad you had a good
time. And I'm way to go. What about you, john? How are you
doing? It's been a while since I've
Yeah, hey, just hanging out working. I've been sick the last
like, three days. Voice for a minute. But yeah. I don't know.
You know, I was thinking about because I'm seeing someone right
now. But I don't really know. It's been a bit. But I don't
really like who I who I kind of am with her. Not that I'm mean,
but I'm just like,
that's that's important. Okay. Well, because
case in point, I was seeing somebody before that. And I
really liked who I was with her because I always because I felt
like protective. And I felt like and which was weird for me
because even with my wife before she passed and
everything else and, and I was married once before, and I never
like, had the urge to buy flowers or any of that kind of
stuff. But somehow with the other person, the you know, I
had that urge. And it was just like, it just came like from my
heart. It was just like, not like an obligation. And so I
really liked who I was with that person, as far as my feelings,
but it just it didn't work out. And it, you know, and we were
broke up for a year, we got back together, and it just
didn't work out. But now, go ahead.
So what is it like, so you say, what is it you don't like? Or
what is it? What is the thing that come bring comes out in
you that you're not not not not liking?
Well, I don't feel the urge to go like, do things where the
other one is like, let's go for a drive. Let's go here. Let's do
this.
Was one an extrovert and the other one an introvert?
No, if actually this one I'm with is way more like,
extrovert and friendly. And, and the one I'm with now is like,
Oh, can I get you anything? Do you need anything? You know, you
know, and the other one was not like that.
And so so I've experienced like, so yeah.
He's talking about acts of service, one of his love languages is not the act of service,
which he wants to do.
And this is for everybody.
I want a partner.
I don't want a servant.
And I do appreciate when it's care.
But I want to be a partner with somebody.
My mother-in-law did everything around the house, served my father-in-law, right?
And that drove me crazy.
That's not how I roll, because I want to do things together.
But I also have to err and allow women.
One of my flaws is I have a tendency to be very independent.
And women need to be allowed to actually care for you.
You need to let them to care for you.
So there's a balance there.
But it sounds like, John, that you had one that was a partner in crime, and you have
one who really just wants to serve you, which isn't a bad thing.
It's not really that.
To be totally honest, I was heavier before, and I lost weight after my wife passed away.
And I got to the point, because I got up to almost 300 pounds, and I got to the point
where it was just uncomfortable, and I didn't like it anymore.
And this woman's a little heavier, and if she was smaller, I would be way more...
Because now I'm feeling like all those restrictions that I was feeling that I wanted to go do
things, well, it's almost...
And then plus there's still that, I'm going to say self-hate, of being overweight.
Because now I'm not, and I wanted to give that up, and then now I don't want to be like...
Okay.
That's a good...
Okay, so.
All right.
But it sounds so bad to say it, and I don't even like to think it.
Well, okay.
I am not looking for a couch potato.
I was talking to David earlier, right?
He needs somebody who's active.
Well, I'm not looking for a couch potato, but yeah, it's just...
I want to be able to do things, and if somebody is overweight and can't do the things that
I want to do, then that's going to hamstring what I want to do.
I feel you.
Huh?
I feel you, because I had one woman who...
I was going to be a gentleman, but she said, hold this, clean this for me, order me everyone
like servants.
And I'm like, no, thank you.
You do it yourself.
We may be special needs like me, but I don't do that.
Yeah.
Okay, honey, we're going to...
That's cool.
But I want to just address what John's saying real quick.
So John, like, that isn't self-hate.
I just want to break that right now in Jesus' name.
No, I agree with you.
You want to live, right?
And there's no problem...
I want to go travel and do some other stuff, and that's what I did with the other one.
That's not selfish.
That's actually what you want to do with your life.
Yeah, but this one, she's really sweet.
She's really a kind woman.
It don't matter.
It's like, you know, one of my axes to grind, like things that break my heart, is like all
the overweight Christian men and women, right?
You know, like, we're meant to conquer the world, but if we're stuck with diabetes and
dying early, then, you know, like, it's just not good.
And yeah.
So John, like, I just want to free you from all that stuff.
You don't want to go back, and that's okay.
And if you want to be with somebody who you can actually get out and go around with, okay,
you guys, we're wired to do things together.
That's how we bond, right?
So being able to go out with your bride and do things, that's a huge thing, right?
Yeah, like, the bad part that I think about, if she was, like, say, like, 50 pounds lighter
or whatever, I'd be totally there.
But I haven't allowed myself to totally open up, really, because...
Well, no, because it doesn't fit, and you know it doesn't fit.
Yeah, but it sounds so, like, petty on my part, you know?
And that's the part that is hard for me, because it's not...
And I know that.
I feel like an ass sometimes, right?
But the reality is, is I need somebody who I can go and do things with.
The life that...
I need somebody that wants to live the same life as I do, and we can go together.
You know, my ex turned into a couch potato, right?
We used to go do all kinds of things, and then she turned into a couch potato.
And I realized, like, it sucked the life out of me, because I wanted to go adventure.
And all she wants to do is sit around.
on the house. Oh my God. And if you have two people who want to
sit around the house, that's perfect. That's great. Well,
that was my marriage before my wife passed. It was like, you
know, I'd come home and she's a stay at home mom. And so I'd
like be in the family room watching TV and everything else
and she'd be in the bedroom reading a book and then I get
we'd go to bed and then you know, or I go to bed and then
wake up and go to work and, and this almost feels almost like
marriage kind of because on the weekends, we go do things now
with this mean this other lady, but during the week, I'm just
kind of doing my own thing, which is kind of and that's
good, like and you've learned what you want. It's okay to go
like you're not, you know, like, it's not being a jerk to
actually get what you want and what you need. Right? And you
don't and just because your old relationship had those those
things, but you ended up being three almost 300 pounds, right?
Like, so, so you know, like, you don't, it's not selfish to
prioritize your health and fun and living. You guys, I don't
know about you. But if you guys all want to exist in a marriage
and you just want to exist through life, more power to you,
but I want to live and I want to thrive. Right? And, and, and
that's why I take good care, do my best care of my health that I
can, is because I'm not going to ask somebody, I'm not going to
pursue somebody who I'm not willing to do the same thing.
Right? So it just sounds like you're just you're just not a
good match, because you're like, like Clayton had a lot of things
that like they had chemistry. If I asked Clayton, I'm like, if
they didn't have chemistry, as a Clayton, you know, something
you really got to check, but they had chemistry. So the other
thing can be worked through what you're talking about is, well,
we got chemistry. Well, no, no, no, no, but but you don't have
the, you don't have the, the physical, you guys aren't in the
same place and what you want to do in life. Yeah. And so you
want you want to go out and adventure and be somebody who's
active. And, and she doesn't fit that bill for us. It was it's
what I see.
I'm like wondering, like, well, how come I don't want to, you
know, hey, let's like what the other woman in between is like,
hey, let's go out here. Let's go for a drive. Instead.
And I don't do that. Right. And different people have like
different people have different wants and desires. Yeah.
I've got a question for you, Josh. Have you expressed
yourself to her about the element of your activities and
her joining in? Have you talked about that with her?
Well, it's not like I go hiking every day, but it's like I go
ride my bike and stuff. But I mean, I just what I don't like
is that I'm not in my head going, hey, let's go planet.
Let's go get away for the weekend. Hey, let's go travel
here. Let's go do this. I don't feel that desire. And so I don't
feel the desire to tell her I love her. I don't feel the
desire to go buy her flowers. And so like I'm saying, I, I was
a different person for a bit. And I liked that person that I
was with someone else. And I'm not that person in it. And I'm
like, well, why don't I have these feelings? And in my very
first marriage, I was like, you know, I was married like five
years, but I remember being like, I don't like being
married. I don't like being here. And it was just it was
just not good. And you know, like trying to talk, you know,
you try to talk yourself into something, you feel like you're
doing that. That's what it feels like.
Don't do that. Don't settle. Yeah, I know. Yeah.
Dude, you're too late in the game to settle.
Yeah, I think David had the best thing. You tell him you're gonna
move pretty soon. And if it works out, you go, I changed my
mind. I'm not moving. But if it doesn't work out, you're like,
Hey, yeah, I'm gonna move.
Or just invite her. You just you just put a ring on it and
move her there with you. But you know, but like, like john, like
just just
a man.
It's not selfish. I just want to break that off. Yeah, I know.
It's just you guys, you're talking about a lifetime
covenant. That's true. And that's the most important thing
you can do. So you marry like now and john, like if you were
saying like, that's something important. Health is important.
And the way that you interact. Like, if you had if you if you
had other great ever, that just it just doesn't just everything
about it doesn't seem to work for you. And she can be the
nicest person ever. She could be Mother Teresa. And I enjoy her.
I like it. Yeah. But it just isn't a romantic. That's not
somebody you want to pursue a covenant with. And that's
something that you've found. Well, I feel like I'm trying to
talk myself into it. Don't do it. Yeah, no, that's like,
trust me, it don't work good.
Well, I've been married twice. And yeah, I know. I know. But
you know, at the end of my marriage before she got sick, I
was just like, Oh, well, it's this is just the way it's gonna
be. It's just gonna be like I had resolved that life was just
gonna be
you know, the way it is.
And then when she passed, she had cancer and it was,
you know, hard, but then it made me feel
like I had a new leash, you know, a whole different,
you know, because we were married like 29 years or something.
Yeah.
So don't settle, don't force yourself to do something that.
Yeah.
Don't put a square peg in a round hole.
No, I know.
Because, you know, go for, you know, like it really is.
So, all right, well, thanks for sharing.
And all you guys, thanks for sharing.
So I haven't, I haven't like, you guys are,
you guys are studs, dude.
You're airing your stuff.
And hey, Christopher, how are you doing?
What's going on with you?
If you, if you want,
and you guys don't have to share, right?
You know, but if you want, like,
I just want to give you the floor
and see how you guys are doing.
And I know we're over and if you guys got to go,
I'm not going to be mad at you.
Assuming you were asking me just now.
Yes, I was.
Hey, I'm just existing.
Nothing's really happening.
Yeah.
I can kind of feel that.
That's kind of why I was looking at counseling today.
I was like, you know, I think I need to work this.
So, Christopher, is there some,
I just encourage you pick up something new,
go on an adventure, even if it's a little adventure.
Right?
You know, like I, you know,
I don't know, I'm going to start doing,
I think I'm going to start doing salsa dancing.
That's kind of one of the things I've been looking at.
I have a couple of irons in the fire.
Cool.
And I just say that because, you know,
we need diversity.
We need to do stuff, right?
Otherwise we'll go die, we'll die.
I'm going to give up and retire from video games too,
because they, especially not when it's a beautiful day.
Yeah.
You know, they have their place sometimes,
but yeah, it's been raining in California.
So like, there's been no water, you know?
So Abram, how are you doing?
I'm doing all right.
So John.
Yeah.
I was dating this chick for a while, dude.
And I had to sit down and talk about like diabetes
and raising kids and food.
And she was awesome.
We connected.
But at the end of the day, she was like,
I'm never going to stop drinking soda.
And she just, you know, didn't even want to lean in.
So man, it just sucks when they're like good people.
And, you know, there's just, you know,
no wanting to just give any percentage.
So I feel you on that, man.
Well, I haven't said anything to her about it, you know?
Because like, my concern is like kids.
So like future stuff, you're kind of like,
just hanging out, you know?
Yeah, I'm like, I got five kids.
I got seven grandkids.
I'm done with kids.
Yeah.
So for me, it was like future food.
Like I'm not the food police.
I'm not going to tell her, you know,
people got to want it on their own.
So I feel that.
But, oh, did he have to leave?
Clayton?
Yeah, he took off.
Oh, my bad.
I had questions.
Yeah, Clayton had to leave.
I had questions for Clayton.
Bye.
Clayton, but hey, Josh, maybe next week or something,
like I'm down to tell you my answers.
I always have my papers where I answered all the,
all the hard work, all the questions.
So I'm down to spill the guts on that, man.
I don't care.
Yeah.
But anywho, yeah, I was going to ask Clayton
just a couple of questions.
Like, it sounds to me that plain Jane,
there's no attraction.
So it just kind of sucks.
No, plain Jane, there was attraction.
No, you were talking about like.
Or chemistry.
Different, yeah, chemistry.
Yeah, chemistry is different.
It just seemed like lack of attraction.
And that just kind of sucks
because you meet good people, right?
The second one was a single mom.
Yeah.
I don't think he's ready for that.
I get that.
And the third one, he said he's super attracted to,
but then you guys started talking about the yolk stuff.
I mean, can he help her?
There's a point to it, but it depends on where you're at.
And, you know, Clayton,
from the conversations I've had with him,
I don't think somebody, yes, you can help them,
but like that's something like,
so this is a theme that's kind of all night long
in different aspects.
You kind of have to take people where they're at, right?
And, you know, because a lot of times we're like,
well, if they just, this would just change,
then everything would be great.
But the reality is, is most of the time,
90% of the time that doesn't change, right?
And you can have the conversation, an honest conversation
and say, you know, this just doesn't work for me.
But then I just have seen too many times
where people just do it to get into a relationship
and then they let themselves fall away.
So I'm looking for somebody who's actually living that,
right?
And I don't want somebody to be like,
I'm gonna do this for you, right?
Spiritually, like, like, like, Abraham, it depends on where
you're at, and what you're called to, and where you're
spiritual. Like, if you guys are, like, within a certain
range, right, right. But if one's up here, and one's down
here, right, it's just not, like, once again, I've seen, I
just have seen it where it goes great for a minute, because they
did it, there was all the all the endorphins, all the fun, all
the great things. And then it goes back to this again. Right.
And and then you're in a covenant. Right. And I just have
seen that through too many times, where I'm like, hey,
that's why I encourage Yes, you can try it. Right. But I've
just seen it burn. I've seen too many people get burned from
that. And so my courage is find somebody who's in your in your
zone. Does that make sense?
Yeah, you're saying just like, at least close, you don't have
to be exact. But yeah,
I am up here and you have, you know, like, I love helping
people, right. But I want somebody who I can have an equal
conversation with or close to equal, spiritually,
emotionally, you know, and intellectually. And, and I
really appreciate you. Like, you're a really good catalyst
for conversation. And I just love who you are. And, and how
you just shoot it straight. Because, hey, guys, I'm not
not above board. Like, you know, like, if I'm off, hit me.
I haven't asked. I have some wins. I haven't asked any women
who they voted for recently. I've been doing better. It's
good. Yeah.
What'd you say?
I haven't asked anybody if they voted for Kamala Harris. So
it's good to know what
I'm working on it. You know, I uh, you know, when you think
you meet your person, and you're going to ask all the questions,
and they're just going to answer it. All right. You know,
just, you know, sometimes that happens.
So we totally get tired of interject just wanted to say,
like, right away that I just figured right away that like,
you probably got nervous because you liked her and liked her
like, this is her. And then
yeah, you want to like rip, you know, because you're getting a
little anxious. Yeah, pretty secure. But you want to like,
anxious rises, it comes around. And you're like, let's just rip
these band aids off. We're soulmates. You know, or you
know, whatever saying you want to make your say. But uh, yeah,
kind of funny.
Well, no, I done it, bro. Like I go in and you're like, well,
we're doing so good. Hello, we're doing so good. And then
you're like, I want to get all my questions answered right now.
Like, let's just get this all out of the table. Let's go. And
and there is a time for that. But you need to build the
interest, like the connection. You don't want to take the
conversations higher than the connection level. Right? And I
have blown this so many times, guys, like, you know, the reason
why I'm telling you guys like, like, just just chill and be
you is because I've done that too many times, right? And it's
one of my like, in a room, my anxiety right now, with a gal
is like, why we're not even in relationship, but like, just
even dealing with that, like today, it's spiked off the
charts. Right? And I'm like, I'm literally doing breathing
exercises, because I'm and I'm telling myself like, dude, I
don't even like it's, if it's gonna go, it's gonna go. But
because it's been such a painful part of my life. Right? Like,
it's touching that and that tells me I do really like her.
Because you're not gonna get anxious if you're not gonna get
anxious if you don't like somebody, like, honestly, if
they're not, you know, and that should, you know, like, just
because they're not they're not somebody that you're really
thinking that you can be part. But when you when you meet
somebody, you're like, this could be the one could be the
one. Take it slow, be you. John, I love how you how john was
talking about. I don't like how I feel around her. Right? And
that could be it could be on the other person. Or it could be on
you. But either way. Either way, it's something that you need to
look at. And I'm proud of you for looking at that, john. And
you look at you just really want somebody that you can be
active with and enjoy life with. Right? And get out and adventure
and live. Right. And so and I think every one of you guys, we
live for adventure. Right? And so it's so important. And oh,
and yeah, and David, we talked a little bit earlier, are you out
of the pub? You have a reception? Other David? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. It wasn't that I had bad reception. It was just, you
know, all the background noise. I didn't want my mic. Oh, is that
what it was? Sorry, my bad. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of
busy because of St. Patty's Day. But yeah. Oh, yeah. Happy St.
Patty's Day, guys.
Hey, Mike, Mike, I like your shirt. So
my runner. I wish my roadrunner actually looked like one.
Are these on there here?
Well, yours, yours, yours.
1970, 1970 Plymouth.
Are you like, are you like, like restomod?
Are you into like,
like, I'm not like original restoration, like graveyard.
Heck no.
I want to enjoy driving a car.
I don't want technology from the seventies with air vents that are like
natural AC, like where they open the door, like you open the kick panel and
air comes in from the fricking the wheel, wheel wells.
That's, that's, that's the AC for my road runner.
It's, it's, it's top end, man.
That's called two 62 windows open at 60 miles an hour.
Yeah.
So how are you, David?
You know, how are things?
I'm doing good.
I'm seriously considering like, uh, by local singles group, we had a walk
in the park and then we went to a restaurant afterwards.
Um, there's a girl in the group that I really like, but they aren't able to
come to as many events, so they weren't there, but one of the other women there
that have been best friends with, and originally found out about the group
years and years ago, when I first started getting into the group, um, we had a nice,
like long talk at the end.
Um, but I mean, she's strictly a friend.
I see her as a sister.
Like I, you know, I don't see her romantic at all.
Like, like early on, she kind of friend zoned me.
And then for like the past three years, like she's been in my friend zone anyway,
but it's, it's cool because I realized, I don't know if you're familiar with
redemptive gifts that, you know, uh, Romans 12, six, seven and eight right in
there.
Um, but it's not the manifestation.
It's not the, it's not the, uh, office gifts, but anyways, she's like
the same redemptive gift as me.
So that's probably a good thing that didn't work out because usually when you
marry, it's usually like, it usually doesn't work out if you're both the same
redemptive gift, it's kind of like, not necessarily like, I just want to
challenge that.
I'm sorry.
Like I've seen, I've seen that I've seen opposites be blown apart and I've seen
Sam's work and I've seen it work both direct opposites work and Sam's blown
apart.
It really is based on other things.
How your friendship level, how, how you are, how you guys connect your
connectivity.
Giftings are different.
Right.
So I just want to challenge that a little bit.
I mean, yeah.
I mean like same isn't always the best and you may want something different, but
like, yeah, I just don't want to throw that baby completely out.
Here we go.
Well, I mean, I mean, as far as her, her goes, it's, she's just a friend, but I
was talking about someone else in the group and, but I found out she's like 14
years younger than me.
So I don't know.
It's like, it's entering the area of, you know, a female would see me as like
cringe or being a creep, you know?
And it depends.
I mean, if she digs you, I mean, I've seen it work both ways.
Yes.
It's usually the way, but like, like, you know, like, you know, but there, there's
other women who are okay with that.
Right.
And so, and like, you just, I just keep the door open to what the Lord would have
for you.
I'm also looking forward to the event.
That's in Jersey because it's only 48 miles away from where I'm at.
So just to be able to hopefully David and Jackie in person, I'll see you.
Oh, Hunter's going to be there.
That's me.
Oh, Hey, Hunter.
Yeah.
It'd be good to see you.
I didn't know if anyone else is in this area.
I know like most are like central U S and West coast.
So I don't think I'm an upstate New Yorker and I can't find a lot of
people in the New York chapter.
And while there's some people in the New York chapter, they're just
more than half are in the city.
I was there.
No, the event, the events are really cool.
And Jackie and David are amazing.
Right.
You know, so, but no, that's cool.
And you know, David, I really just, I just applaud that you're, you're
out there in the singles groups.
You're out there, you're doing things, you're having combos, right?
Like, you know, that gives you the best chance of connecting or intersecting.
Like if you're not, if you're sitting at home, the odds of you meeting somebody
other than the UPS or the Amazon delivery person, like that's about what you're
going to get, you know, if that's how you want to roll, teach their own.
But not, that's not how I want to roll.
Um, yeah, I'm out quite a bit.
Cause I mean, I do DoorDash and stuff like that.
So in the evenings, but you know, all right, well, cool, David, keep it up.
And may, may you have a great time.
Maybe you and Hunter have an amazing time at the New York thing.
Hey, Mr.
Chris, how are you doing, bud?
It's been pretty well.
Sweet.
We haven't talked in a while, so.
Yeah.
The people that have been around for a little bit know my story.
For me, it's more of like a, in my heart, I've always felt that God has said no to everyone
I've been interested in.
And so I'm really trying to get to the bottom of that.
And there's someone, just like another girl that goes to my church, spiritual daughter
of my pastor who lives just down the street from me, and we dated three years ago.
And it was kind of like fireworks between us.
Eventually, it took a while.
She was not interested for a long time.
And then I just felt like God was telling me no and freaked out and ran away.
And I've never been able to get over it, really.
I've tried to date one other person pretty seriously, but I just haven't been able to
get over her.
And so I've been just really asking God, like, okay, God, what's going on?
And I realized there's no amount of explanation that's going to get to the bottom of this.
So really, I've kind of set aside the next 30 days to, you know, and I've been setting
aside time.
Like I quit a lot of, I quit my side projects.
But I just decided I'm going even deeper in these next 30 days with God and prayer.
And you know, like God gives us, he puts his desires in us.
And when our hearts are aligned with him, we know that, you know, we know that our desires
are going to be aligned with his.
So that's, that's where I am the next 30 days.
I don't know where it came from initially, but somehow I just felt God drop April 18th
in my heart.
And turns out it's a good Friday.
So we'll see what, see what God does.
But yeah, I got my phone all locked down.
No social media, no internet access, don't even have Wi-Fi at home.
So we'll see what God does.
Well, may he bring you freedom and like, and may it all be clear to you.
I mean, I've been praying for it, praying into that for you, right?
So like, you're my prayers, like, you know, I pray for, I pray for most of you guys.
So like, yeah, I guess, you know, and I want to pray before we go in.
Is Kenton gone?
Nope.
I'm here.
We're still.
Oh, sweet.
Hey, Kenton.
How are you?
I'm like, yeah, I was like, hope he didn't go.
How are you doing?
I'm not doing bad.
I'm just, I'd worked this week, unfortunately, up north and it's sort of, I'm going through
a cleansing, a 90 day cleansing with a wellness center, and that sucks.
I'm sorry, bro.
Me too.
Yeah.
No, besides that, no, I'm, I'm in sort of a relationship, it's sort of been in a weird
relationship over the last year and a half.
It was actually something Lord had asked me to go into, and then it's going to be another
story for another time because we haven't got enough time to talk about it.
But the point was, is that God was teaching me two things.
He wanted me to love her unconditionally because that was never part of my history.
And to also understand what unconditional love was so that I'd be able to love myself
unconditionally.
So it's been a year and a half of, if it was a dating time, I'd want to leave a year and
a half ago.
So many words.
It's, it's one of those relationships that this girl needs so much unconditional love
because of her history with her ex-husband and her last fiance.
They just messed her up really bad, especially in the love department.
She's gorgeous.
She's a, she's a knock down, you know, dead type of gorgeous woman.
But because of that, she, her mother was said, you better get married because, and look your
best at all times because you won't be able to do anything else in life.
Go figure guys, that a mother would do that to their child.
That's brutal.
That is brutal.
And so she doesn't think she's intelligent and yet she's got her nurse's degree and nothing
seems to stick.
No matter how much I pray for her, how much I encourage her, how much I'd love her on
show her unconditional love because I'm not expecting anything back from her.
And she just can't believe it's, it's real.
Number one, but number two, she's confused at all.
That's why I've got her in the group here at LYS as well.
She's going through the course so that she can understand now what's going to happen
in that relationship after it's over.
My assignment is over.
I have no idea.
But I've had to learn how to love her because she was so unlovable in herself.
And that was, that's a new task for me.
So for the last year and a half, I've been learning a lot about unconditional love and
how to be just somebody available to her and love her unconditionally in so many ways.
And she just, it's blowing out of the water.
This is the way husbands are supposed to love their wives.
She never received that whatsoever with her husband.
or her fiance, they're all controllers and manipulators.
They were just using her in so many words,
because she is a, what do they call those women?
A trophy wife?
Yeah, she is definitely a trophy wife,
there's no doubt about that.
But she's got a lot of intelligence,
she's got a lot about herself,
and of course that self-esteem
goes right into the rest of the family.
So if you guys can remember me to keep that going,
because I wanted to quit in a year and a half ago,
as I was saying several hundred times in between.
But the Lord's teaching me as well too,
that unconditional love is not only what they need,
our women, but I need to be able to receive that as well too
because I'm a giver, I'm always a giver and not a taker.
And so that's, I've had to learn not to do that.
It's always harder to do for a people pleaser.
And well done, Kenton, and you guys,
you may be in every relationship,
it may have nothing to do with them being the one,
but it's something that you need before you meet the one.
Like he's, you know, like in Kenton,
like it's really hard to love people unconditionally.
It's like the agape, it's agape,
but like it brings you to depths that you would never go.
And that's what I heard you saying,
I'm proud of you, bro, that's amazing.
And you know, Jackie talks about being a kinsman redeemer.
You know, you guys, I've been in, one of my friends,
she's like, all your dating relationships
are super productive.
I'm like, what do you mean?
Like, they're all like, she's like,
well, you really bless everybody that you're in dating.
And I'm like, yeah, but it's not productive for me.
Like, you know, like, you know,
but there was a truth in being like,
and then we started out talking about
being the divinely masculine.
Is love on a woman without her taking.
That's what men do, right?
Like loving them there.
And you know, you guys, so many people marry a woman
and they put her in a cage because they're afraid.
And that ends up killing them.
But if you look like, and control,
but like marriage is meant to be
like two birds on a perch, right?
And it's scary because they have the ability to fly away.
But like, if you love them well,
they're never gonna wanna fly away.
If you put them in a cage, they're gonna want out, right?
And the beautiful thing is letting you being you,
you know when I see you guys be you,
let them be them and love each other well.
And I know it's over guys.
And I just wanted to make sure that everybody got,
does anybody have anything else before I close out?
I just, I appreciate you all.
You're amazing.
And I'm proud of you.
You guys are, it's a privilege to do life with you guys.
Amen to that.
Thank you so much for taking it on tonight, Mike.
Oh, hey, Chris, you got a hand up?
Oh, you got Mike.
Yeah, Mike, could I just, I've been good and quiet tonight.
I just wanna ask one question.
Kenton, I like really admire you as a father in the faith.
And so I don't mean to ask this critically,
but so I'm gonna ask this question and I'm gonna shut up
and there's not gonna be any follow-up.
But in my life, I've tried a couple of times
to like just love someone in the process.
I've tried to just be a friend
and it just seems to keep coming back to biting me.
Like basically, if I'm not in this for marriage,
a girl wants me out of her life.
Like I'm very good at loving,
I'm very good at loving sacrificially,
but every time it's tried to kind of be a friend,
it's always ended up really hurting people.
I guess I just, have you talked to David about this?
I guess I'm just really curious,
but I'm not gonna say anymore.
So thanks.
No, it's a great question, Chris.
And it is very true though.
Women are looking to be going beyond friendship
many times, unless you make it very clear
at the beginning that I'm in a single group at home
and I made it very clear to each and everyone,
I'm not here to look for a wife,
but I'm here to minister to you.
I make that very clear at the beginning,
or you can minister to me.
I'm not here for the dating purposes,
I just wanna be friends with you.
So in that context, I put that right up front.
Those that wanna be friends with me
will go out and have coffee with me.
They'll go out and have, in a group or as individual,
because they know we're not gonna be dating.
So that's the number one rule I put down
and they understand that.
That helps a great deal when they've already put
the rules down, one might say,
knowing that's exactly what you want.
Because there's been a few girls that have asked me
within LYS to communicate with them,
but they wanna rush through this whole thing real fast.
And unfortunately, that doesn't work with me,
if I don't become a friend with somebody first.
So I'm hearing what you're saying, Chris,
totally hearing what you're saying.
Because we need to be friends and I need to minister
to be able to minister to her.
as a man, because if she can't receive that, now she won't be able to receive that in marriage
either. Anything they cannot or will not do before marriage, they will not do it in marriage.
I've got enough experience under my belt to know that, and I think you do as well, Chris,
and that's why you're looking for that person you can be a total friend with, to minister to,
to be ministered to, and have a friendship with. Am I in the right area of that, Chris, right now?
Oh, so the other thing, you guys, I do, Chris, when I'm talking about all the relationships,
I carry, for lack of a better term, a father's anointing, which is ironic because of all my
father things, right? He uses that to help minister to other people, and Kenton, you're so
right. Boundaries are everything. I mean, I've had so many, it's like, hey, no, I am not here
for a relationship, and then that sets them free, and I minister to a lot of daughters,
right? A lot of the king's daughters, and a lot of them have been beat to crap by guys,
right? Especially the beautiful ones, right? And just to get, and I take that with severe,
like, I take that as, with reverence and honor, because, like, I don't want to be another person
in the chain of guys that's crushed them, but I do want to be somebody who loves them well,
so they actually can experience what a good guy, what good male, like, what the divine masculine is,
so that when they, all these clowns that they've been, like, entertaining,
no longer have any value to them, right? And so, and—
That's a good point, Mike, that I want to bring there into play here. Once they get to see a
godly man who's secure in himself, who loves God, who's able to pray to, as the Bible says,
to wash our wives, to take the Word and speak it over them, study it together,
it's hard to beat that, because now it's a high bar that you place in life, but it's a high bar
that they needed to see. Now they know what it looks like, what it feels like, especially the
feelings, because they're feelers, and what to expect, because that is what they should be
expecting, so it's like feeling, you know, I said it before, the bank tellers are never given phony
money. They're only allowed to touch real money, so when the phony one comes across, they can
immediately feel it. The same with the girls. They can immediately feel right away that,
no, this is not a godly guy. He's not a chancellor. I mean, he doesn't pray with me. He
doesn't, you know, he's not a gentleman. He tells me more about himself than asking the right
questions about me. Oh, yeah, I could write a whole book on that one, so I hear what you're
saying, Mike, and usually in the end, I'm dealing with a lot of women that are broken and part of
it, so the woman I'm seeing now, she is more of a project. I hate to say that word, but she is more
of a project, but she's learning that whole thing, but I've had to learn, again, I'm going to say
this, gentlemen, I had to learn how to love her, because she was not a girl that I would take out
on a date, because I am a total athlete. She's not. She's a little overweight, too, but she's
dynamite looker, and she's, anyway. And I guess the reason why I say that, you guys, is like
I never look for it, honestly, and I just end up happening, and I realize that the Lord is
using me to help, but that's not all. Not all you guys may have that calling. I mean, Kenton and I,
that's why Kenton and I have a lot in common, is because we do a lot of stuff, and I'm like, Lord,
I really don't want to minister any more ladies. I just want to marry one, so can we work on that,
because, you know, but at the same time, like, I just, but I have learned, like, when you can be,
love somebody without asking stuff, it teaches, it's been a double blessing to me. Have I had to
grow? You bet you. Do I have to have good boundaries? There's some people, ladies who
are very promiscuous, and I really be very, I'm very careful with that, because, you know, and like,
and so I just, just to have good boundaries, but I want to pray us out, because we're way over, and
I hope it was all right. I just wanted to give everybody the floor, and love, and make everybody
be heard. So, Lord Jesus, I just thank you for all these mighty men of valor. Lord, I just pray that
you help us to be the men that you call us to be, that we will be founded in our identity. Lord,
that you would give us clear vision of what, in our relationships, and that we would love women
well, whether they're become our brides or not, but Lord, that we, that every person that we
interact with on a date or otherwise would leave better. We would reset the bar for what the men
in their lives, and we'd set it high so that they could actually thrive, but Lord, I just pray for
each man that you would meet them, and wrap them in your love, and that you would encourage their
hearts and our minds. And Lord, would you bring adventures into
our like good adventures, adventures into our lives? Well,
I love that. We love we love you and love that all that you're
doing. Thank you for these mighty men. And I just pray that
joy and fun would come to their houses. And they would find
their spouses in Jesus name. Amen. Love you guys. Have a
blessed week. Right?
See you later.