Well, welcome. Another amazing Monday night. Happy St. Patrick's Day, you all. I wore my
green for St. Patty's Day. I was really awesome. I was looking into, and I've seen it before,
but just because of, you know, Brian and I pastor the church here in Florida, just trying
to help people understand what St. Patrick's Day was about. And it was really a blessing
to read the story, a little bit of St. Patrick and the missionary work that he did. And so
if you ever have a chance to go look that up and research that a little bit, because
there were ups and downs of his journey and there's a blessing and a prayer that is very
famous and I think it will bless you all as you close out your night tonight to look that
up. So I want to encourage you to do that. For those of you just joining us, I would
love to welcome you if you're joining us for your first, well, everybody welcome, but
if you're joining us for your first time, if you've never been here before, put that
in the chat for us so we can welcome you. It's so great to see all of you that are here
as well as those that are going to catch this replay. We love you and you are just as much
a part of us as if you're here live. And we know that that can get through to you just
the same way as if you're here. So I want to encourage you all to continue to stay in
the game. A couple of my announcements tonight are about that. And what I mean by that is
that distractions are going to come for all of us. And, you know, last week I shared a
little bit how like, and I don't want this to sound bad, but like, you know, my dad passing
away and I got sick in the same day and I was really sick for like a week. And those
are things that we can't avoid. Sometimes life just happens, right? But we keep going.
And, and that's even though that week I couldn't work as much or do as many things. That was
something that was really hard for me mentally, because I'm a go getter. You all, I like to
be busy. I like to get things done. I like to feel like at the end of the day, I've crushed
it. And so when I'm laid out sick and I can't do those things, that's a struggle. And I
can even get feelings of distraction and kind of isolation and all the things that some
of you might experience here in your course, in the heartwork journey. We know that the
heartwork journey is, is sometimes difficult you all, but when you see it through and you
get the breakthroughs and you get the healing and you look back on this journey and see
how far you've come, it's, it's going to be worth it all. I promise. And so the reason
I mentioned that about the distractions I face is that they all can look different.
Most distractions are our kids. Sometimes it's an old flame popping up that you just
really know you shouldn't be reconnecting with, but people just can't help themselves
and they, they, they believe, Oh, it must be the Lord. No, guess what? Guess who else
causes causes these people to pop up? The devil, Satan. He wants to get people off track.
He doesn't want you to get the healing that God has brought you here to get. And so he
will do anything he can. So just keep that in mind. I want to encourage you all to check
out supernatural Saturday from Saturday. Jackie talked about taste and see you all guess what
taste and see that he is good, but also the importance of us earnestly seeking the spiritual
gifts that God has provided for all of us to operate in. And not only to earnestly seek
them, but to walk in them and be rooted in the love of the father. As we, you know, walk
those out in our everyday life. Welcome to those of you that have joined us in the last
few minutes. I don't know if I said who I am. I know a lot of, you know, who I am, but
I'm Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master hardware coaches in this community. So what
that means is I've been doing this for a while and now I'm training other coaches to do it
and raising other people up. And we're just having a great time helping people heal and
step into the fullness of who God created them to be originally before trauma or wounds
ever entered and being a part of that process and getting a glimpse of your victories is
such a blessing for myself and my team. And then also before I forget, I kind of got off
segue there. Jackie also and David led the Sunday night activation last night. So that
replay should be up in the replay tab. If it's not, it'll be up there either later tonight
or tomorrow. But want you all to check that out too, because what they did is they then
helped people activate the spiritual gift of, I think she, all of them, but really emphasized
prophecy last night. This Saturday, we're going to actually be activating the gift of
faith on Supernatural Saturday. I'll be leading that session because Jackie will be traveling.
It's going to be a really awesome time. So I want to encourage you all to come and join
us for that. A couple other things as you all are in the heartwork journey and beyond.
So it doesn't just stop when you finish your heartwork and beyond.
I want to encourage you to come out of hiding, okay?
All the different ways that the enemy tries to get us to go into hiding and
the things that sometimes will cause us to step back,
including sometimes y'all are going to be excited about what God is doing
in you in this process and in this journey and you're going to share it
with someone and they're not going to be supportive.
They're going to actually think what you're part of is a little weird or
what's this all about and you're good being single don't worry
about the you know all these different things that people say
and I want to encourage you to just be really prayerful
about who you're sharing things with about this process.
You know this sister squad here everybody that's here is kind of on the
same journey so people here that you make friends with
would be great people to share this journey with
and not that you can't share it with your personal friends or family but just
really be prayerful about are they someone safe you know asking
the Lord are they someone safe that I can share
this with even if they love you some people if
they're not the person that God would say yeah
they they are a safe person just really asking the Lord about that but
coming out of hiding is like in every area of our life so how can you
come out of hiding more in your work situations how can you come out of
hiding more with your friendships how can you come
out of hiding more when you do encounter a man on the street even if
you know it's not a romantic encounter but like not
looking down and avoiding eye contact and all the things
that we do that are all aspects of hiding
and living in fear and not really showing up
so when you're showing up also in the group
you all participating sharing what you you know you're processing hey
even if you're struggling and you're angry about something that's coming up
coming in the into the group and sharing that
is going to help you but it's also going to help other people
one of the ladies in our one o'clock session was saying last week after I
said this exact thing that I just said to you
she said last week when I shared that the activation was for you all to go out
and have fun activating fun she felt
anger she felt anger inside of herself even hearing that that was the
activation and so I'm curious was there anyone
else on a last Monday night that when you heard
hey let's activate fun did anger come up for anyone else I'm just curious it's
okay if so some people were really really
excited they're like yeah I want to go have fun
but there were or maybe fear or any any kind of negative
emotion that you experienced when you heard that was the activation just know
that you're not alone that's the point that's why I'm asking this because
the enemy is trying to keep you from stepping into
like freedom and a lot of times when people are asked to have fun
and maybe someone criticized them when they were younger like
made a statement like you can never have fun or you can you know
really like hurting someone's feelings or when they were trying to have fun
they put down that person's sense of humor or
whatever that might look like growing up I mean
there's a lot of different factors sometimes when life is really hard and
we're in a lot of hard seasons season after season after season
for someone to say hey go have fun and go go activate that and practice it
you know it's kind of like a reminder of like oh my gosh
yeah it's been a long time since I've I've had fun
and sometimes that's not easy so I'm saying all that to say
if you experienced any negative feelings when I mentioned that
that's a revealing for healing for you okay so you want to really ask the lord
why that emotion came up for you and to reveal you know what is it what's
causing that anger or that fear or that sadness or disappointment I see Lisa
put that in the chat regarding fun okay and so yeah
I look forward to hearing what y'all think about that movie when you do watch
it so when you come into the group and post
about your stuff it might be like I said it might be
feelings that like as you're reading the heartwork book you're processing things
you might have questions there's never a dumb question you all
okay I'd rather you all come in the group and ask the questions to process
it properly versus not coming in and saying
anything at all and the enemy really working negatively in this process
in you instead of positively okay the lord doing
doing a lot of healing heart posture is key as you're going through this heart
healing journey really important you all I know I said
it last week and I might have even said it the week before
the the pace is important we have someone that emailed again
they actually know someone that is one of the leaders in this community
and they emailed them and just said hey I've already I'm already good on the
healing stuff and they they've been here two weeks and
so they just don't think
they need to stay here longer.
And this is the thing, y'all,
that's a revealing for healing in and of itself.
Whether people wanna recognize that or not,
as I said last week, I had tons of healing
before I came into this program.
We all need healing every day.
That's the reality.
And if we get to the place that we feel like
I've got all the healing I need,
that's a concern for me, for you all.
And so I love you all.
And if that's you, I don't know who the person was.
I just know that it was a statement that was made
and we're not upset with anyone or any of those things,
but I want you all to know,
I've noticed in our new group lately,
there's several people flying right through.
And I'm not sure why that's happening more now,
but this is your process.
This is your time to get everything out
of this Esther preparation time
that you can get to glean from the healing and the coaching
and the things that God is literally these tools
that he's putting in your lap
to get free from everything
that you might not even realize is there.
I can't tell you all how many times things will happen.
And it's not always the deep intensive work like this,
but like, I'm gonna give you an example.
I've processed a lot of things about my dad
as I shared last week,
with him passing and a lot processing,
but it was interesting as we were planning the trip,
I did not wanna fly to Cleveland.
And it's because all of my past history with my ex husband
was all connected to Cleveland.
And so we were looking at Canton Akron Airport
and Columbus Airport and all the things,
but guess what you all, God had another plan.
Guess where the best flights were,
the lowest costing flights, all the things, Cleveland.
Yes, they were.
And so, we decided to fly into there
and I knew right away, like, okay, Lord, it's time.
Cause here's the reality y'all,
I haven't been back to Cleveland since the day
I went to the divorce court
and signed the official final papers.
It wasn't a coincidence that God wanted to leave me there.
And not only that, the reason I'm sharing this story
is as we were driving to meet a friend of mine
to have dinner, I was kind of just looking at the road signs
and kind of observing where we were driving,
like, oh my gosh, yeah, I used to get off at this exit
and just things like that.
And I noticed this sign that was for the VA hospital.
And all of a sudden, this memory from when I was little
came into my spirit and my mind.
Well, it was already there, but I recalled it, if you will.
And so, my dad, when I was younger,
he was in jail for a really long time.
And when he got out of jail, he got access
into this VA hospital in Cleveland.
And we had to drive there to see him.
And there were several times I remember driving away
and crying because we, like, he was staying there
and we were going and all the things.
And so, I'm saying this to you all to say,
I coach heart work every week, all week long,
and I've been doing it for years.
And that is not something I've thought about ever,
like hardly ever.
On occasion, maybe like every, I don't know, 10 years.
But like, for whatever reason, God led me to Cleveland
to take back some land and authority
from the prior experiences with my ex,
and I'll share more about that later,
but also to bring up this memory regarding my dad
during the time that I was in that area
to drive down to Canton for my dad's funeral.
Timing is everything, you all, okay?
And so, embrace the journey, keep your heart postures open,
what all that God has for you.
He has so many amazing things
He wants to give you on this journey.
So, stay in the game.
When the enemy comes and tries to distract you,
don't give up, keep going,
put one foot in front of the other.
Okay, let me pray for us.
I know we're already at 8.16, I can't believe it.
The time goes so fast.
Father, thank you so much
for everything that you're doing for us.
Thank you for the hearts that are here,
the hearts that are gonna watch the replay,
help them to receive everything that you have for them.
Lord, I pray that you would remove barriers,
blind spots, filters,
even as the things I've already been sharing, Lord,
if there's anything that's popped up in people's hearts
where they feel frustrated or unsure about who you are, God,
or your plan for their life, or anything negative,
God, we just ask you to, yeah, just...
bring your peace, that you are the God of peace.
And in your word, it says to be still
and know that you are God.
So Lord, I thank you for that reminder tonight.
We thank you that you would reveal things for healing,
that you would bring things out of darkness into the light
so that we can step into further breakthrough,
further healing, further revelation,
that we would have impartation from heaven tonight,
that we would see ourselves through different eyes,
that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying
about us, to us, and for us in this season.
And we thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here
and having your way in our hearts, our minds,
our bodies, our spirits, and our souls.
In Jesus' name, amen.
We're talking about identity tonight.
We're gonna talk about inner vows tonight.
And as we start this journey,
oh, Glenna, I grew up a little bit south of North Canton.
I grew up in Novara, Ohio,
a little town down below Maslin in Canton area.
So I'm sure you probably are a little familiar with that.
Yeah.
So you're a Buckeye.
I'm a Buckeye.
They did that on the airplane.
Sorry, y'all, I squirreled.
I got distracted by what she said there.
Sorry.
No, it's good.
I love it.
You could have stayed with me.
Oh, well, I appreciate that.
So we did have a good time.
Like I said, we stayed in a hotel in Cleveland
and then drove down to Seville.
That's where the funeral was,
out there at the National Cemetery, yeah.
But thank you, yeah.
And I always loved when I see where people are at,
you know, and can make a connection with someone.
I think that's super important
in this process as well, you all.
So if you all are on the, this is a good example.
If you guys get into breakout rooms
and you find out like you have something in common
with someone in your breakout room,
that's an awesome time to be like,
oh my gosh, me too, or I've been there,
or those kinds of things after you do the questions,
of course, that I give you.
Connection and friendship is everything in this process.
As I've said before, I have a lot of friends
that are some of my closest friends now
that I've made through this community.
So I believe that can be possible for you as well.
On identity, where we're gonna start tonight,
I want you just to be thinking about
in regards to your identity, like how you see yourself
and really be asking the Lord
as I'm coaching on the content tonight, how does he see you?
Identity shifts are required for every new season.
Do you all know that you're in a new season right now?
Like literally God led you here
for the heart healing process to begin a new season,
a new chapter, doing something new in your life.
And he wants to remove all the old and bring in new.
And in order to do that,
we have to leave behind the old things.
The Bible talks about when the new wineskins
are coming or are there, guess what?
We've gotta remove the old wineskins.
And so every new season, that's totally fine, Heather.
Thank you for letting us know.
Every new season requires an identity shift.
One of the things I was saying this afternoon
that it really has struck me a lot
is the story of King David and how when he was first,
called forth as King and he actually served
for seven and a half years before the people
came to anoint him as King.
And then it says in the Bible,
it says that David then perceived he was King.
Y'all, he was already serving as King.
So how is it that seven and a half years later
he perceived it?
There's something to that.
So how many of us don't perceive that we are brides,
don't perceive that we are more than conquerors
through Christ Jesus in our jobs, in our families,
in our communities, in our churches.
We have to have the identity shift in our belief system
and that transformation on the inside in our hearts
and how we value ourself and how we see ourself
so that we can actually step into it
in the season that we're in or coming into.
And so I wanna encourage you,
some of you are like, yeah, I wanna meet that person
and I wanna be married
and I want to have the blessing of marriage and children
and all these things.
But so often we are partnering with lies like,
I'm better off single, I'm happier single,
I'm good by myself.
And so I wanna ask you to really be introspective
as we're talking about this tonight.
What are the lies the enemy is saying to you
that are convincing you?
of the opposite of God's promises and plans for you
regarding your spirit mate, finances,
like I said, jobs, homes, whatever it is,
your children being reconciled,
people coming to know the Lord that you love,
whatever it is, what is the enemy saying?
The opposite of what God is saying
about you and your family.
But most importantly, who are you?
Who has God said that you are,
that the enemy is always attacking
and trying to say you're the opposite of that.
And he's trying to convince you
through people and situations.
And he's coming and he's like, yep, see, I told you.
See, I told you through this situation
or that situation that's happening, but he's a liar.
The devil is a liar.
And we have to understand that God is always trying
to give us that upgrade of understanding
of our identity in him.
He's trying to help us see ourselves
with the eyes of heaven, with his heart, with his eyes,
more and more and more every day.
A new identity forces out the limitations of a past season.
If we will believe, not only have faith,
but literally get the gift of faith
to believe in something new.
So I just wanna encourage you,
if you don't believe that you are a bride,
like sincerely, not just say, yeah, that's cool,
I'm a bride, but like really genuinely believe it
in your spirit, then I would encourage you to pray
for the gift of faith from heaven to believe that,
for the things that are in you that don't believe that
to be removed because those are limitations.
And those limitations, they will hold you back
from stepping into the new season that God has for you.
So maybe it's, some of the people will say,
well, I don't believe that someone will really love me
and my kids.
I don't believe that someone will love me for who I am.
Whatever the thing is, that's attacking your identity,
whether you realize it or not.
Because if we believe that God, that someone would not,
excuse me, that someone would not love us and our kids,
guess what, there's a lie under there
that you don't believe that you are enough as a woman
with like, with children and other lies connected to it,
that someone would choose you, that's good, why?
Why do we believe that stuff?
Because at the core somewhere,
we don't believe in our value.
We don't really believe it.
Our value as a daughter of the King has been attacked
and assaulted over and over and over again.
And so part of this journey of your heart healing
is realigning with who you are as God's daughter.
And we're gonna talk next week about the real you,
who are you really?
And what is God trying to help you continue to step into?
But today, tonight, we're gonna plant some seed
in preparation for next week,
because we have to start understanding our identity
through the eyes of the Father.
On that note, I wanna talk about Adam and Eve very quickly.
Genesis 3, eight through 11 says this,
"'Then the man and his wife heard the sound
"'of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden
"'in the cool of the day.
"'And they hid from the Lord God
"'among the trees of the garden.
"'But the Lord God called to the man,
"'Where are you?'
"'And he answered,' so Adam's answering God,
"'I heard you in the garden and I was afraid
"'because I was naked, so I hid.'"
Verse 11, "'And he said,' so God talking back to Adam,
"'Who told you that you were naked?
"'Have you eaten from the tree
"'that I commanded you not to eat from?'
So a couple of things I wanna point out to you,
as I was sharing the housekeeping tonight,
I was talking about coming out of hiding.
And here in this story, we have Adam and Eve hiding
because they got revelation that they were naked.
Jackie also talked about some of this
on Supernatural Saturday.
It didn't even dawn on me earlier.
There's the part of Supernatural Saturday
where she's talking about Adam and Eve
and how actually they didn't know they were naked
until Adam ate of the fruit.
And so I want y'all to listen to it for that reason as well,
to get that additional insight
into what the Lord's trying to say through that.
But here's the thing, God's talking to Adam
because Adam's saying,
I was hiding because we were naked and they were afraid.
Well, did they forget God's love?
I mean, they walked with God in the cool of the day.
They knew who he was.
They knew his character.
But I think when they ate of the fruit,
it distorted their perception
of him loving them unconditionally,
which is so very true for so many of us
when we sin or make mistakes,
we believe the lie that that's separating us
from the love of the Father when that's.
not truth. God says, I will never leave you. I will never
forsake you. And the Bible even says in Isaiah, that even if our
mother forsakes us, he will not. He will not. So he says, who
told you that you were naked? And the reason I'm putting this
scripture along with the identity section tonight is
because who or what are you getting your identity from right
now in this season? What is informing your identity? Who or
what? What we've eaten, so to speak, taken in through trauma
through the wounds we've experienced, personally, as well
as ladies, I'm going to expand this not just the wounds we've
experienced, but some of you have witnessed and watched other
people being traumatized, or know about a situation. So for
example, when I was in fourth grade, my brother, my oldest
brother, my sister, and my mom were hit by a drunk driver. I
was not in that car. I did not see that accident happen. But
y'all better believe that was one of the most traumatic things
of my life, knowing that they were hit by a drunk driver. I
didn't even know until the next day, but going to the hospital,
seeing my brother in a coma for a very long time, my sister had
to have brain surgery. Thankfully, my mom walked away
from that accident with just a couple, you know, minor
injuries on her leg. But I'm saying all that to say that was
a massive trauma that I had to work through, but I didn't see
it. And I wasn't there. But it impacted me in a in a massive
way. And so sometimes the traumas and the things that
we've eaten, so to speak, are from those kind of situations as
well. You know, or maybe as a child, you were watching your
mother or your father being abused, because ladies, it's not
just the men abusing the women we've got, you know, we hear all
the time about women abusing men. And and I know, excuse me,
a lot of men that that's happened to. So here's the next
one about what or who are you getting your identity from right
now? Are you getting it from what people have said to you?
Yeah, Sylvia, you could absolutely feel trauma from
being a widow. I have a good friend of mine and several women
that have also gone through this program, that really had a lot
of trauma to come out of because of losing their former
spouse, and all the impact of things that have happened. And
one lady in particular, her mother lost her husband at a
younger age as well. And so then she also did. And there were
things that her mother said to her and trying to help her like
in a loving way. She wasn't her mom wasn't trying to hurt her.
But it was words spoken over her that caused her to feel like it
wasn't really okay for her to marry again.
Because she had such a great marriage already, even though he
passed away. And so there's a lot of different kinds of trauma
or even things that people say that can inform our current
identity. Okay, so she until God has been breaking her free from
that she was really struggling. She she believes God has someone
else for her. But internally, that's what I'm saying the shift
has to happen. We can have it up here like we want it and we
believe it. But our hearts are telling us something different.
Our soul is being informed by something else. Sometimes it's
the enemy telling us and saying things to us about who we are.
So he can use people to say it to us. And sometimes he's saying
it directly to our minds. And he's trying to come into our
dreams. And he's trying to torment us in even the daytime,
the nighttime, all these things. And the enemy could be the one
trying to inform your identity. Or on the positive side, is God
the one informing your identity? So just being asked, you know,
be asking yourself that tonight and in the days ahead, like when
you have a thought or something happens, or you're around
someone and they say something to you. And have you ever had
that feeling like when someone says something and you're just
like, Oh, that didn't feel good. Even though sometimes what
they're saying sounds good. It doesn't feel good to your
spirit. Well, guess what you all, that's the Holy Spirit
sometimes saying, wait a minute. Uh, that's not truth. You know,
and that can happen in church sometimes to some pastors are
preaching messages from the pulpit about how everybody
should just be happy being single. You know, we got to be
careful what we're listening to, and taking into our ear gates
and our eye gates. And even on you know, TV, all these massive
romance things that are just not real, y'all. I promise. It's not
real. Guess what I was thinking about this, this might make y'all
laugh. I was thinking about this today. I remember going on my
honeymoon, and I had been on a honeymoon y'all before but for
whatever reason
This was way more real this time.
And just being like, oh gosh,
I didn't think about the fact that we're sharing,
you know, hotel room and you, you know, both people,
the first time you're staying away
and you're having to use the bathroom, you know,
and you're just like, oh,
I didn't think about that on the honeymoon.
You know, all these little things
and I'm just kind of making light,
but like just things like that that happen
that are normal everyday life,
but until you're in that situation,
you're not thinking about it.
And I know that's kind of being,
I'm trying to be a little funny
as I'm kind of just shifting a little bit
in our conversation tonight,
but like all these things that impact us
and make us insecure and all these things,
but I guess I was saying that too,
because the movies don't portray that kind of stuff.
And that's real life, okay?
I'm not saying that's the main point
or that's the main focus,
but there's all kinds of things that are in movies
that just never happen, okay?
And so let's not let media inform our minds
and our identity and cause us to have all this pressure
about some of these things
that are just never gonna happen.
So on that note, I wanna activate you all.
I want you to put in the chat for me,
two to three words that come to mind right now,
super quick about who you are,
and I don't want you to filter yourself.
So if there's anything negative that comes up,
put that in the chat too.
If it's all positive, awesome.
But what are two to three words right now,
super quick that come to mind about who you are?
What is your identity?
Who are you?
Put those in the chat for me.
And as you're putting those in the chat,
I'm gonna keep going
just so that we don't get too far behind on time.
I want you to think about
what does your root system look like?
What I mean by that is down in your soul,
you've got soil, you've got things in there,
and what's planted in your soul,
is it good?
Is it healthy?
Or is it unhealthy and not good stuff?
Or maybe there's a mix,
because the reality is if we carry pain in us,
if we have all these unhealed areas, guess what y'all?
There's roots down in there that are unhealthy
that need to be uprooted.
They need to be taken out over time.
And that doesn't have to be an abrupt, harmful process,
but it is a process that we need to go through.
So what does your root system look like?
What are the things going on in your soul and your spirit
when someone cuts you off in traffic?
What are you thinking?
What's coming out of your mouth?
What's coming out of your spirit
when someone is mean to your kid,
or someone says something to you at work that's offensive,
or all these different things.
Someone says something on social media.
We're so, y'all, I'm not gonna go into politics,
but I'm just gonna say this.
Everybody's got an opinion
and everybody's so enraged all the time.
I don't believe that is God's spirit.
I don't.
I don't think that is God's spirit for us.
And so we need to look at why are we getting zero to 180
angry all the time in our day in society and time?
So let's be looking at what is,
so the roots, and then we're thinking about the fruits.
So the fruit is how it shows up.
How does it manifest?
Are you manifesting the fruits of the spirit,
which are love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness,
patience, gentleness, self-control?
Are those showing up in your life?
Or are other fruits showing up in your life
that look a little decayed, that look a little harsh,
that maybe jealousy and all these things?
So I'm gonna give you some examples of the unhealthy fruit,
but I want you to be thinking about
what's showing up in your life.
This is one of the ways you can tell
what is a root versus a fruit.
And this is from the HeartWork book,
and I'm gonna come back and circle back to the things
that y'all put in the chat here in just a minute.
Fruits versus roots.
Fruits are the emotional or physical manifestations
and the subsequent actions you have been taking
as a result of what you believe in your heart.
So remember, what we believe in our heart,
what's in our hearts, out of the overflow of our heart,
our mouth is gonna speak.
And that's the actions we're also gonna produce, okay?
Fruits may include sickness, self-pity.
So these are the unhealthy fruits, just so y'all know,
just to make that differentiation, okay?
Self-pity, a victim mentality, despair.
So not just sadness, but the despair.
And y'all, that can be like a very deep grief,
heavy, laden, like people really have a hard time
coming out of deep, deep sadness, okay?
Suicidal tendencies, disgust, judgment.
Just a side note, if you have a problem with judgment.
others, it's because you have a fragmented heart. A judgmental heart is a
hurting heart. Some more fruits are obesity, perversion, addiction, sexual
dysfunction. Y'all, the pornography, struggles, all that goes all together,
okay? Hopelessness, hatred, self-hatred. Just so you know, all forms of hatred
begin with self-hatred. You can't hate someone else without hating yourself.
Some other fruits that are unhealthy that show up in our lives, abrasiveness,
short temper, irritability, jealousy, envy, competitiveness, comparing yourself with
other people, gossiping, backstabbing, being unhappy, ungratefulness, selfishness,
having a poverty mentality. If you are habitually negative, unfaithful, or have
any form of dis, including disease, disconnection, discontent, and
disappointment, you are suffering from a broken heart. I could go on and on,
and as you can see, what we often believe is the problem is just the fruit of the
real problem. If we really want to, if we really want these areas of our lives to
become healthy and abundant, we have to pull these things out by the root. And
that means locating and isolating the lie that we believe that is at the core
of these behaviors. Okay? And so we've talked about, like, when I ask you all,
what's the root? What's the first time you remember feeling this or thinking this?
That, the reason I ask you that is I'm trying to help you lean into the Holy
Spirit and pray to find out, like, okay, Lord, when is the root, the first time?
And we do our best to discern that. We just process what comes up, and sometimes
that will be the root, but other times God will then show you another thing
that's connected to that first thing that's come up. And so I want to encourage
you all to continue, I'm so sorry, I'm stumbling over my words, continue to give
yourself grace and a lot of just patience in this process because as you're seeking
the Lord, trusting what you hear, the process of this heart healing also,
you all, from my perspective, is about you all learning to trust yourselves again.
So many people, including myself, when I went through my heart healing,
there were so many aspects and ways I didn't fully trust myself because there
were times I had made, like, healthy vows and promises to myself that I broke.
And every time I broke a promise to myself, even little things, ladies,
I try to really watch that in my life today. Like, if I say I'm going to do
something, whether it's for myself or someone else, I try to always follow
through in that because when I don't, every time I don't follow through on
that, it actually diminishes my own belief in myself, in my confidence in
myself, and all those things. But when we're here in heart healing, we can start
to heal from some of that and really lean into, you know, what is God trying to
help us to keep, you know, our promises to ourselves, trust ourselves, grow in
understanding who we are, and all of the things coming out of those counterfeit
identities and stepping into the true, real you. All right, let me look at the
chat here. I want to check on these real quick. All right, bubbly, optimistic,
joyful, Alina says not sure, and that's totally okay. That's why we're talking
about this tonight. So hopefully you'll, you know, continue to gain
understanding of who you are more and more. Daughter of the Most High, loved,
adored, procrastinator, lacking self-confidence, kind, funny, positive,
enthusiastic, confused, widow, love kids, loved by God, beloved daughter,
victorious, conqueror, brave, God's daughter, straightforward, I am chosen, I
am anointed, and a daughter of the King of Kings, overweight, in need of healing
all over my body, woman of God, sensitive, compassionate, I know I'm a
child of, okay, Alina's saying I know I'm a child of God, a queen, that's
awesome, hopeful, energetic, overcomer, beautiful, heart, anointed to do good,
wise, faithful, let's see, Sylvia says mine says princess, but heart was low
self-esteem. I feel like I'm nobody without my husband. Okay, we're going to
talk about that a little bit. All right, I wanted to, oh, and Ruth says tired,
defeated, lost, and scared. I wanted to read all of those for the people that
are even watching the replay, because, and even for all of you here that are
live, because so many times we struggle to know who we are in Christ, but when
we hear what someone else says, we're like, oh, I feel that too, even if it's
a negative sometimes. But understanding and really being willing to look at the
negative things that we believe ourselves, about ourselves is really
important. And we're, like I said, we're going to
talk about that part more next week.
So just come with an expectant heart.
We're gonna really lean into coming out of the negative
and into the positive.
And some of you do have a lot of positive,
we heard it tonight, but there's still so much more.
For some of you, as Diana was really transparent
and shared, overweight and need of healing in her body.
And so ladies, these are things that are informing
our identity right now.
So when we go into these friendships or even romantic,
we're trying to date, guess what?
We're showing up with those lies in our spirit.
And it doesn't mean like, I'm carrying more weight
on my body right now and I need to lose some weight as well.
We moved here to Florida and everybody wants to eat
and it's been just one of those things.
Pastors, we go out to eat with people a lot,
but working on better choices, getting more active
and taking care of our bodies, that is important.
Okay, so I'm not saying we shouldn't want to shift
if we need to get healthier.
You know, I've battled a lot of sickness
in the last few weeks.
So I'm gonna be working on kind of detoxing my body
from medicines and all kinds of stuff
and really rebuilding my body up.
And the reason I'm saying that is because it doesn't mean
that we can't acknowledge areas
we need to shift genuinely, okay?
But what I wanna make sure is that we don't look
at ourselves in the mirror and just put ourselves down,
mentally, verbally.
You know, somebody, I was talking to someone the other day
and they were just like, man, I'm so stupid.
Like they said it out of their own mouth
just as we were talking.
I'm like, no, you're not.
You know, and so really helping our own selves recognize
when we're having thoughts like that, that are not truth.
You aren't stupid, you're smart.
God has gifted you with the brain and knowledge
and guess what?
He can continue to give us.
Did you know that the Bible actually says
He can not only renew our minds day by day,
but He can give us like new understanding
and revelation from heaven every single day.
So guess what you all?
That means, and our brains literally regenerate.
They develop new cells.
So guess what?
I think our brains can grow stronger.
I think we can grow in knowledge.
So no matter what you believed about yourself in the past,
that doesn't have to be your forever
and that's never been the truth.
And so whatever we wanna choose to step into is up to us.
Remember, as I said in the beginning,
in order for us to move into our new season
and step into our true identity,
we've gotta get rid of the limitations.
So if your limitation is in your mind
more than anywhere else, guess what?
That's connected to heart trauma
and wounds and lies you're believing.
It's not just your mind.
It is your mind and we've gotta control the mind
and pray that God would give us that spirit of self-control
and really tame what are like, okay, I had that thought.
Where did that come from?
And we're processing those things
instead of just receiving them.
Okay?
All right, I'm gonna put you into your breakout.
It's gonna be really good.
I'm excited for you all to talk about this with each other.
What is a negative root that you need to confess tonight
and gain healing in, okay?
And then I also want you to talk about
what is a positive root
you're gonna partner with more in the days ahead
because we all have negative things, unhealthy roots
and we all have healthy, positive things
that are producing good fruit, okay?
All right, let me get these rooms ready.
Excuse me, I'm getting so much better
but I still have this lingering cough
that's just showing up a little bit tonight
because it's getting later.
So I apologize for that.
And I'm gonna give you all, yeah, eight minutes.
So talk about that question first.
What is a negative root
that you need to confess and gain healing in?
And what is a positive root
that you're gonna choose to partner with more
in the days ahead?
Talk about that first.
If you have extra time, get to know each other,
where are you from, how did God lead you here?
Or do you have pets or anything fun?
You guys can just have fun, get to know each other, okay?
Here you go, go ahead and click to join that.
All right, go ahead and click to join those
as quick as you can, ladies.
All right, I think I've got everyone situated, so I'm going to start to pray.
Father, thank you so much for your just amazing grace and your mercy that is new every morning.
And not only your mercy regarding forgiveness and grace that we can receive, but the mercy
regarding just these revelations of new identity and the understanding new mercy and revelation
and insight from heaven that you're just pouring down over us tonight.
I thank you, God, that you are transforming us from the inside out.
Lord, I thank you.
I just had a vision of like when they are doing surgery and they pack, you know, all
this stuff into the wound to kind of get the bleeding to stop.
That had already happened.
What I saw was the gauze was being taken out.
So just want to speak into that.
I trust the Lord is going to minister to someone through that.
So basically what I hear the Holy Spirit saying is that the surgery has been it's already
happened and you're in the season of God's taken that gauze out because they're about
to close that that incision area up and the more healing and grace is about to happen.
And so some of you feel like you're beyond repair and that's not truth.
God is saying you're you're in the season that I have for you, Kalia.
Okay, I just sent you a link to join the breakout session.
The ladies are talking about what is a negative root that you need to confess and gain healing
and then what's a positive root that you're going to partner with in the days ahead and
the ladies can if you just want to listen to what they're sharing in the room and then
you can ask him questions if you need to but feel free to join that room if you'd like.
So as I continue to pray just Lord on that what you shared Lord, I thank you that you
would oh you hit the button to leave Jennifer.
Okay, let me I don't know if I can put you back into that same room.
Let me put you in a different room.
There you go.
Sorry, I didn't see your message at first.
You got that?
Okay, cool.
So father, we just thank you for that word and that reminder that you're always working
Lord in our situations even when we can't see it in the physical realm that you're doing
stuff in the supernatural realm.
You're moving things you're healing you're redeeming you're restoring and you're rebuilding
pretty did you get kicked out?
Actually, I'm having some sound trouble and so I didn't quite understand the question
and the person I was in my room with I think also didn't get the question so something
about the root.
I'm sorry.
Can you reshare?
Yeah, that's okay.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to put you back in that room.
You'll have to click to rejoin it like I will be able to yeah, the question is what
is a negative root that you need to confess and gain healing?
So remember the fruit that's displayed in our life.
So if we have unhealthy fruit, so complaining gossiping being jealous and being, you know,
all those those are fruits and those fruits are connected to a negative root.
So where did it start?
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
I think I got the second part.
It was just the first part.
I was not sure.
Okay.
Thanks.
Awesome.
Do you see the button to click to rejoin?
Yeah.
I'm going back.
Okay, great.
Thank you.
And so Lord, thank you for the reminder that you're working and you're doing something
new in us.
I thank you God that you are coming in and as the great physician you are, you know,
putting in the sutures and you're putting in the stitches and you're starting to close
these wounds that have for some been open their entire lives.
So Lord, we thank you for helping every one of these women to step further into freedom
and truth and hope and life.
God, we thank you that you would give them divine glimpses from heaven of their identity
in Christ, how you see them, the things that you want to speak over them.
We ask you to shut the mouths of the lions that rage against them through the voice of
the enemy that he sends through other people.
And sometimes the direct assault against our minds.
We thank you that you would help us, yeah, Lord, that you would just literally shut the
mouths of the lions and help us to hear what your spirit is saying louder than any other
voice.
And we thank you God that you are coming in and you're redeeming, you're restoring, you're
rebuilding all the broken and fallen places.
Even as in like the old Testament back in the day when the temple was all torn down
that you laid it upon Nehemiah's heart to go and rebuild the temple and all the time
and the effort that was put into that, but God, the intentionality in every aspect of
rebuilding the temple and how they worked as a team.
And even as people came against them,
that the response was, I am doing a great work.
We are doing a great work.
We will not come down from the wall.
Lord, I pray that you would help the ladies
in this hard work process to stand in that place.
Like they're doing a great work.
When the enemy comes against them,
that they will stand with resilience and perseverance
and say that they will not come down from the wall.
That they will stand and see your glory
and your goodness being manifest in them and through them.
And God, I thank you that you would help them to also,
yeah, Lord, just to receive the upgrade
in this new season that you have for them,
that you would remove limitations and barriers
and heart postures, limiting belief systems,
things that they've said over themselves for years,
or even other people have said over them
or other family members that they then took upon themselves.
So Lord, we just thank you that another image I just saw
is like a top hat and I saw it being taken off.
And what I believe God is even showing through that
is just some of the mindsets that we have,
we literally just need to take it off.
We need to remove it.
And we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us in that process,
but it is a coming out of alignment and agreement
with the negative things that the enemy is offering to us
and saying, no, I'm not gonna partner with that anymore
because I believe what the word of the Lord says about me.
And I'm going to allow God to be the one
that informs my identity.
I'm not gonna go into hiding anymore.
I'm gonna come out into the fullness
of who the Lord has called me to be,
created me to be, and he's equipping me to be,
that we don't have to be afraid to be who we truly are.
Sorry, ladies, I gotta get a drink.
And we can step into that with boldness and courage
and to really know and understand that God is,
yeah, he's literally taking the heart
that we've had for years that's damaged and he's loving it.
And black areas, he's coming in
and he's bringing them back to life.
And what I mean by the black areas,
it's kind of representing the broken,
hurting parts of our hearts that God is loving.
That God is literally coming in
and he's lovingly touching those areas
and he's bringing them back to life.
He's healing them, he's restoring,
and he wants to help you really feel your heart come alive
and awaken with excitement and joy.
Jeremiah 24, seven says,
"'I will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord.
They will be my people and I will be their God
for they will return to me wholeheartedly.
Father, if there's any way that we as your daughters
have been separated from you in our spirits,
in our minds, in our hearts,
God, I thank you for a reconnection with you,
that you would help us to return to you, Father,
as our first love,
that we would not believe the lies of the enemy anymore,
that we would take captive every thought
and make it obedient to Jesus Christ,
and that we would catch every thought quickly.
And Lord, that we would no longer meditate on things
for hours and days and fret,
God, that we would turn away from anxious thinking
and fearful thoughts invading our minds,
our spirits, and our souls,
and we would partner, Lord, with your truth instead
more and more and more every day.
So Lord, help us to know your truth
because your truth is what sets us free.
In Jesus' name, welcome back, everyone.
So glad to have you back.
I wanna hear from you,
who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in your breakout session tonight.
Anyone willing to share?
I don't know if I see anybody raising hands.
Okay, Joy, awesome, go ahead.
Okay, I wanna share is my root,
negative root, just desire more,
kind of, you know,
it could be negative, it could be good.
I'm just so passionate,
pursue God and the desire of more of Him.
So I do struggle with this problem
for over so many years now,
is that something come up,
like a spiritual things, like a program,
then I sign up, I purchase it.
And then there's another one I could not help.
I say, this is good for me.
Oh, I need to get it.
And then I don't wanna let go,
and then sign up again.
And another one, and then I think it's good too,
then I sign up and purchase again.
So I have multiple, like four or five, six.
I mean, I'm just saying that there's one size I love
and pursue God, I'm so passionate,
desire Him, pursue passion.
But another side, there's something deep inside me
is a female.
I'm afraid of missing something good.
Yes.
So, how can I give up?
Because I struggled for so many years.
I don't know how many years.
20 years or...
But because this caused me overloaded.
Then I sometimes could not focus on one thing.
I really love this last year's single.
It really...
I'm just so, so happy.
I joined this community.
I learned from you.
It's so anointed and so practical.
And to help me deal with this root problem.
I'm so happy.
But meanwhile, I signed on.
I repurchased all the programs.
So, I'm not...
I understand.
Joy.
Okay.
So, I do understand what you're saying.
So, one of the ladies...
Just so you all know, she's talking about, you know, FOMO sometimes.
Like, we're afraid of missing out.
And I will tell you, interestingly enough, it is something that I've had to really watch over the years myself.
And there is this drive in me to always learn more.
I'm a learner by, like, as a part of my makeup.
But here's the thing.
Sometimes the enemy is trying to take us away from the one thing that we need to be focusing on.
By having us do multiple programs or spending money in multiple areas.
When God can actually give us that insight and revelation in the one thing that we've already given our yes to, if you will.
And so, what I have found is that deep down, what's coming to mind right now that I want to put with this before I jump to the next thing, is when I was younger, my oldest brother, who was my main abuser, which I didn't remember for a long time.
But I do think that it does...
It is important in this story.
But my oldest brother got straight A's.
He was, like, the best student.
He was, like, a top wrestler.
He was, like, good at everything.
Got a lot of recognition all through school.
And, you know, everybody just really adored him and put him on a pedestal.
Including, you know, my mom and all the things.
And so, I'm saying that to say I was child number four.
And my middle siblings kind of...
They did okay, but they really kind of struggled in school.
And so, as child number four, what I found is my mom put a lot more pressure on me because she didn't want me to just kind of coast through, if you will, and struggle like my middle siblings.
She kept trying to get me to be like my oldest sibling, my brother, who I subconsciously, whether I knew it openly or overtly at that time, but subconsciously, I knew he was my abuser.
And here was this competitive thing being put on me all the time to be like him, to be like him, to be like him.
Well, guess what?
Deep down, as that stuff came to the surface, well, I was like, I don't want to be like him.
But all those years that pressure was put on me to have straight A's, to be in all the activities, to be in all the sports.
And you all, that has impacted the way that I sometimes, you know, even...
And I'm totally okay with where I'm at.
But, like, one of the things I've been working on lately is finishing a book.
Because for years, I'll get books, and I'll start reading them, and they minister to me.
And I'll pick it up a year later, and it'll minister to me, and it'll be, like, right where I need it.
And that's cool, and that's awesome.
But I started seeing this pattern.
I want to finish.
And I'm going to dedicate and finish some more books.
And it doesn't mean I have to finish every book I start.
But I am trying to work on, you know, seeing something through all the way.
And I do finish a lot of things.
But for whatever it's worth, that came up in my spirit, so I wanted to mention that as well.
So, Joy, I believe that the reason I shared the story about my brother and the comparison that I felt, I'm not sure if you felt that growing up.
But the comparisons in your family and pressure, societal pressure, your cultural pressure.
I know that there has been, I'm not 100% sure, but Joy, are you of Asian ethnicity?
You're right.
Okay.
And the reason I'm bringing that up is I've had several other women that have come through this program that have Asian ethnicity, that their parents put so much pressure on them.
And other ethnicities as well, ladies.
But it's been very evident in that ethnicity.
And it literally put them to the point of never feeling like they're achieving enough.
Yeah, not good enough.
Yes.
Yeah.
And so I just want to encourage you to really be asking the Lord if some of that in you is coming from any kind of initial things and situations.
like that, where there was pressure academically to not only get good grades, but to literally
excel beyond, excel beyond, excel.
And even in our society in the U.S. now, my husband's daughter, I mean, she had like a
4.5 something.
Y'all, when I was in school, I didn't even know you could get that.
Okay.
Maybe you could, and I just didn't know it.
But it was kind of like, it was kind of like, to me, I'm like, why are we, why is this a
thing now?
You know, where not only what not the 4.0 isn't a good thing now, you got to have higher
than that now, you know, and so I just, I think there's some of that stuff at play in
us.
Yeah.
I want you to pray about that and just see where that might take you in your healing
process.
Joy.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
trauma.
I'd something really very, very bad happened to me.
So I was tormented.
I could not get what I, you know, have so much, a lot for it, but I could not get it.
I was kind of torment to me.
So that's why deep inside me, I said, I want to get what I love or interested.
I don't want miss it.
I know there's also still no trauma need to be healed.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
And ladies, here's another thing.
I want to plant the seed and all of you.
You all we can't miss our spirit mate.
Okay.
I want you all just to kind of sigh or sigh of relief.
Like here's the reality is that if you continue to walk in your healing and continue to follow
the Lord and take action, y'all, what I mean by that is you can't just sit on the sidelines
waiting for the person to be dropped off at your door.
It's not going to work like that.
So you're taking action every day.
And this is what I encourage people to do.
I want you, if you guys, I want you to remember all the heart healing stuff in remember these
tools as you move forward.
But I also want you to remember this Lord, what is next best thing I can do today?
What's the next best thing I can do today, every day that we would pray that prayer and
then do what the Lord is showing us to do that day.
And as we do that, you all sincerely, I believe it will lead you into the fullness of everything
God has for you, including your love story.
With some of that, going back to our identity conversation, guess what?
The limitations and the negative belief systems and the things we've been partnering with,
we've got to get rid of that stuff and open our hearts and make room for the new.
The new can't come in if we've got all the old junk and stuff in there.
Okay.
Joy.
Thank you for sharing that.
That was so good.
Jodi, I would love to hear what you have to say.
Hi there.
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Obviously not fun to be on the hot seat and share these kinds of things, but it's good
too.
So I think something, a lie that I have been believing for a long time is that I am a failure.
I don't know.
I think these are two different ones, but that I'm not good enough.
Do you remember when, and it's okay if not, but do you remember the first time that you
felt like you were a failure?
I don't.
That was a question I wondered too, if we have to, is that something we have to determine
in order to heal or yeah, it's a part of your healing process.
It doesn't mean that you just aren't going to be able to heal at all without that information
because sometimes it might be a little while before God reveals the root to you because
you might need some other healing first so that it doesn't harm you when you have that
memory.
Sure.
So that's where I'm always big on extending grace towards ourselves and being super kind
and patient with ourselves in this process because if that doesn't come up for you super
quick, there might be a reason it doesn't bubble to the surface right away.
So just trust the timing of that being revealed.
And so just as a reminder, everybody, if we don't know what something is, like when is
the first time, like if I was Jodi, Lord, when is the first
time I believed that I was a failure. And if we don't hear
something, you know, kind of bubble up quick, that doesn't
mean there's nothing there. It just means most likely it's
shoved down pretty deep. Okay. And the Lord will reveal that to
you in time. Most times, I mean, there are times that some people
get into phase two, and then they have that revelation come.
So just trust your process. And you will definitely continue to
heal. It's not going to keep you from healing altogether. But like
I said, there's, there's also an importance in the process of
the healing, like the dots being connected at certain times, if
you will. Yeah. So do you happen to remember when, when is a time
that you felt or believe the lie or recognize the lie showing up
that I'm not good enough?
Oh, I, I don't know, maybe specific instances, but I think
I felt that way as a child. Because I, I didn't ever feel I
knew at an early age, like quite early, that my parents didn't
love me the way I needed to be loved. I knew that they loved me,
but I don't know, I, okay, for some reason, I knew that. And I
and, of course, you know, you think I'm not good enough. And
maybe that's why. So I think it started way back then. I don't
know a specific time. Okay. And so this is where I would
encourage any of you all to take this from here. So you're
recalling that you have a feeling from when you were
younger, that your parents loved you, but they didn't love you
the way you needed to be loved. And so I would ask the Lord to
give you an ex like, Lord, will you reveal a memory and a time
that I actually felt like my parents weren't loving me the
way I needed to be loved. And, and again, ladies, when we're
praying these things, keep a pen and paper handy or even in your
phone in your notes. And it may come up then it might come up
later in the week, it might come up when you're taking a shower.
I mean, there's just different times where that stuff will come
up. But it's, it's the process of asking God good questions.
Okay. So always going back and asking him another question. So
if something pops, you know, to the surface that doesn't even
seem like it connects, just still say, Okay, Lord, like,
this is what's coming up in my spirit. Like, you know, what are
you trying to show me through this?
I know one thing is that, like, I would play at my girlfriend's
house houses or whatever. And their parents, they would say I
love you, you know, back and forth if they were saying
goodbye, or, and I know that I never heard that from my
parents. And so I know that's one. One thing I remember, where
I really felt that.
Yeah, so that's a start. And so I would encourage you on that,
to use the forgiveness prayer sheet, and forgive your parents
for not verbalizing their love towards you. Yeah. And just as
you forgive that there might be other things that come to the
surface. But if not, just for now process that. Because I
really do have a feeling I have, I think you've suppressed some
stuff. And part of the way that will start to come up more is as
you forgive as you go. And then keep asking God questions about
things. And just again, let him you know, bring those up
organically. As a reminder, ladies, we don't ever we don't
dig, we don't get our shovels out and dig. So we just pray and
trust the Lord and what he reveals. But Jodi, I mean, I
think there's gonna be so much goodness and healing and great
things that you're going to experience in the days ahead.
And I appreciate you getting into the, like the share seat,
the hot seat, if you will. Because it's, you know, just so
y'all remember this, everything that you share is whether you
realize that it's helping you, but it's also helping someone
else in this community. And you're brave, you're like your
courageousness to share really is amazing and incredible. And
so praying for you, and we'll be asking God to really continue to
just help you have the memories come to the surface that need to
come from darkness to the light, so that you can receive more
healing and revelation. Because if there's anything I know for
myself, one of the things that I always used to be frustrated
about is when I would have enough of a memory, but not the
full memory. And I would feel so frustrated like
I just want to understand what this is connected to.
But I will tell you that the one in particular that's coming to
mind tonight for me, I'm really glad that the Lord waited to
reveal the full thing until he did, like until the time when he
did, because I genuinely don't think I would have been able to
handle it if he had revealed it sooner. And so bless you. Thank
you so much.
Thank you.
Yeah. Alison, go ahead.
Yeah, my question is, and I've struggled with this for years,
is what do you do when you can't? Well, I shared my thing
is envying. And it's really specifically one family who just
has everything I want, which is children, now grandchildren, and
they love me to my core, they call me an aunt, they send me
pictures constantly, not knowing it hurts. And I can't confess it
to them. I confess it to all my girlfriends, I've confessed it
to them blue in the face, but I can't talk to them. That what it
makes me feel. And it hurts me because I love them. And they
they would lay down, they would have no idea that it's hard on
me.
Yeah. So thank you for sharing that with us. And I think the
first thing, so is your question, like, why is this
still a problem after you've already confessed it? What is
your tell me what your question is, because I want to make it
to that,
that because, you know, I feel ashamed, because God's been so
good to me. And he really has. And I'm one who loves life
naturally, but this area I don't love. But also, how do you
make things right when you really can't approach someone? I
mean, there are times you really cannot approach and clear there.
Yeah, well, yeah. Well, and in this case, they haven't done
anything wrong. No, not at all. Yeah. And so honestly, I don't
know that I would share this with them. And maybe that's even
going to bring freedom to you. You know, just knowing that
there are some things that God is just trying to do in us, and
allowing him to heal us and, and help us process, even if it
takes us a long time, that when someone hasn't done anything
wrong, we don't have to necessarily tell them that the
thing that they're doing is hurting us, when they're doing
something that's not technically normally wouldn't be hurtful,
right. So the thing I would say is a just giving yourself that
grace and that freedom that you don't have to share that with
them, that it doesn't mean you don't love them, it doesn't mean
that you don't care about them, or any of those things, the
enemy might be trying to make you feel I'm, I'm hearing the
word guilt over and over again. So, you know, the guilt and the
shame and the condemnation, I think is a huge thing, the
enemy is really trying to torment you with this, and make
you feel bad about your own self, when in reality, I'm where
the envy took root was way before this family, I really
believe that. And so, Allison, when when is the first time like
you believe the lie that God was blessing other people, but not
you? Not even just this family, but other people and not you?
Oh, when I was a child with my dad, I mean, I think most of us
would, it stems from childhood. But you feel ashamed when I
really do know God's blessed me, I feel ashamed.
But you don't. Okay, so here, let's unpack this. Because I do
think in Christian circles, especially, I mean, we're most
of us, I think all of us in this community right now are
believers in the days ahead, I think we're going to try to
bring in more non believers. But here's the reality, I think
there is a level of shame. Because we're told that we
should just know better. And we shouldn't feel these things.
And, and all this, but here's the reality is our pain, and the
trauma and the wounds we've experienced. That's what's
informing us. Not the truth of the wholeness of ourselves. And
so the enemy wants you to be bound by the shame and the guilt
and the condemnation. Because if you just step into the freedom
and the grace of like, hey, wait a minute, I'm, I'm human. I have
flesh, I have wounds in my soul that are impacting the way that
I feel sometimes. And you just really extend grace to yourself.
And I really, I do think this is going to start to shift. And so
every time those thoughts come up, Allison, I want to encourage
you to say, No, Satan, not today. Like, I really want you
to get used to like rejecting the lies of being ashamed.
Like, no, Satan, I don't have to be ashamed
because I stand in the grace and the goodness of God
and I am okay even when I don't feel okay.
Because our feelings don't determine who we are.
They don't.
So we have to really come out of alignment with the lie.
Like for you, in this case, based off of what you've shared,
I'm gonna say that you probably need to come out
of the alignment with the lie that you're shameful
because of this.
And I keep feeling like it is connecting back to your dad.
Just even when you shared, it's like you started sharing
but then you said,
but we all have these things from childhood.
And so there's something in there that's causing you
to minimize what you've gone through as well.
And the Lord wants you to feel like the truth.
You don't have to minimize it because you're a Christian
and you've been blessed.
Well, yeah, okay, I've been massively blessed too.
But the reality is, Allison,
is I went through a lot of pain as a kid.
And I had to be able to process that and look at that
so that I could heal to come to the fullness of freedom,
not just because I'm a Christian,
you just shouldn't feel this.
You know, those are condemning statements
sometimes even from the pulpit or leaders
and where we just need to shape up or get out,
you know, kind of stuff.
And I'm not saying all like pastors and leaders do that,
but there's things that are said sometimes
that translate that into what we hear,
especially if when we hear it,
we're hearing it through the filter of brokenness
and pain and loss.
And if you, you know,
I'm not sure what the dynamic was with your dad,
but I'm just putting this out there for you or anyone.
If we had a relationship with our dads
that they were saying things that were hurtful to us,
well, guess what?
When we hear things from leaders,
we're filtering it through those lenses, right?
So even in this regard,
I think that's what's happening, Allison.
You're filtering the envy that you feel
through the filter of, I'm not good.
I should just be blessed and be fine
and I shouldn't feel anything negative.
And I don't think that's true.
You know, we have the flip side.
We have some people that are really negative all the time
and they really struggle to come out of negativity.
And then we have the other side where people are so positive
that they never really give themselves permission
to acknowledge their pain.
So I want to encourage you to acknowledge your pain.
Feel the feels so that God can heal your feels.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Because here's the thing,
let's look at what's underneath the envy.
What's under the envy?
It's broken promises.
It's lies that the enemy is telling you
that you're not going to have things that other people have.
It's all the other thing.
There's probably a lot under there,
but that's where it's like,
give yourself permission to feel it.
Because when you feel the emotion,
then you can start to uncover the lies that you're believing
that are underneath the envy that you're experiencing.
Because remember, envy is a fruit.
What's at the root of it?
Right?
And the root of it is connected to feelings
and pain that need healing.
And so do y'all, I think you were here last week, Allison,
when I talked about loving on the little girl us
and allowing the little girl us
to converge with the adult us.
And if y'all weren't here last week, if you're new,
you can check out that replay.
But I think that comes into play here for you as well.
It's loving on who you were
and the pain that you experienced
and giving yourself permission to feel it
so that God can come in and love that little version of you
so that the adult version of you
can be set free from the envy.
Does that make sense, everyone?
Yes, and thank you.
Thank you for that insight.
That was good.
You're welcome.
Ladies, I have said so many times to my husband recently,
I don't know why I'm struggling to be patient with people.
I tend to be a really patient person,
but I've been struggling to be patient
with the sheep in our church.
And so I just wanna say that to you all,
because as a leader, I don't want y'all to ever think
that any of us have ever arrived.
I've not arrived.
Every day I'm experiencing healing and revelation.
And you know what?
I'd be lying if I didn't tell you
that the enemy tries to cause me to feel shame for feeling.
that. Guess what? Part of the reason I'm struggling with the sheep in our current
church is because we were hurt by sheep in our prior church. I feel that even in my heart as I'm
saying it to you all. And so God's been showing me and reminding me to really process the offense,
to process the hurt. Because before I became offended and broken by those people, I was hurt
by them. Okay? So let's all of us this week, grace. Just remember, God, thank you for your
mercy. Thank you for your grace. Thank you that I don't have to, we don't have to be perfect.
Every day we just do our best. We do our best to live like Jesus would live, but you all,
we can't. He was perfect because there's one perfect one, but we can do our best to become
more like him every day. But he also acknowledged what he felt. Jesus expressed his, you know,
even in the temple, why did he go in and remove that stuff? Well, because they were filling the
temple with all kinds of marketplace stuff. And it was literally causing the Gentiles to not be
able to enter into the place of worship. And that caused him to feel angry. And he turned the tables
over because they were turning the temple into something that it was never intended to be. And
it was blocking people from being able to come to God and into the presence. And so I think it's
important for us to remember that Jesus felt, Jesus felt things. Alison, thank you for your
courage to share. I appreciate that. Y'all, I have seven minutes to do our next content. So I'm going
to hurry really fast and do this. I don't want y'all to miss this, but I really appreciated that
opportunity to coach on those couple things. And I believe that God's going to bring revelation
and healing to you all in the areas that you need it through that as well. But we're going to talk
about vows really quick. Inner vows are this. It's a determination set in our mind and heart
to protect us from pain.
Inner vows are a determination set in our mind and our heart to protect us from pain.
Romans 12.2 says this, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test what God's will is,
his good, pleasing and perfect will. Soil in our hearts is important, ladies. Okay,
I'm going to read another little clip from the book, the heartwork book
about vows. And this is what it says. Even though you won't be able to replace the actual events
that happened in your life, you can replace the lies that you believed. And most importantly,
the vows that you made as a result of the lies. When we experience these hurts in life,
they make us sad. And when we are sad, that's when anger shows up. Anger is always the defender.
It always shows up when those wounded and vulnerable parts of our heart feel threatened.
I like to think of it as hurts bodyguard. When anger is around, we feel strong and we start to
make inner vows. Here are some inner vows to give you guys some examples, you ladies, some examples
of inner vows that some of us make. Now you might have an inner vow that's totally different,
but this is just going to get you started. Nobody is ever going to hurt me again.
I don't care about anyone. I can't trust anybody. I will never turn out like my mother or father.
I won't be made a fool anymore. Nobody is ever going to tell me what to do.
I can't tell anybody about this. I will be perfect from now on so that nobody can reject me.
We make a decision to harden our hearts and it makes sense in the moment. We think if we make
these vows and build these walls around our hearts that we can keep all of the bad things out.
But unfortunately, walls are good at keeping things out, but they aren't good at letting things in.
To stop surviving and start thriving, ladies, we have to start to let things in.
As the lies in their corresponding vows are emerging, we have to replace them with the
greater truth of God's word. I'm going to give you all a couple more vows that I've heard from
coaching and things that people have said. I will never date or marry a Larry. Fill in the blank
with a different name if it applies to somebody that you've dated that's hurt you and you've made
that kind of vow.
you know, David or John or whoever it was.
I'll never date or marry a certain,
a person of a certain ethnicity.
I'll never date or marry a person that has a certain,
a guy that has a certain type of job.
You know, these are statements and vows that we're making
because some people grew up in, you know, pastors, kids,
and they don't want to date and marry someone
that's in ministry because they saw negative things.
You know, even as I'm sharing things that, you know,
we went through in our prior church, you know,
sometimes ministry is hard.
And when you're a kid and you're growing up in that,
or even as an adult, you're like, yeah, no,
I don't want that.
But y'all, there's a lot of good.
There's a lot of good.
So we want to make sure we're not making vows
about things that are actually going to hinder
God's blessing from coming into our lives.
Here's another one.
I'll never let my guard down again.
I don't know if I already said that one.
And I don't know if I already said this one.
I'll never let anyone hurt me ever again.
So here are some ways you can start to identify
inner vows that you might have in your life, in your spirit.
Do you always say words like,
or do you ever say words like always or never?
For example, they always do that.
You could put that along with men always cheat,
men always lie, or my friends always leave,
or nobody ever, that could be the opposite,
nobody ever chooses me.
Okay, see how these inner vows,
these are tied to lies we believe.
And then we create these self-protection mechanisms,
these vows internally, subconsciously to protect ourselves.
Here's some other ones.
I always get passed over.
Men never come through for me.
Men never pick me.
Earlier today, I also said this,
men never pick heavier women,
or some women think with certain ethnicities,
nobody's going to pick them.
Or like I said earlier tonight,
some people believe that because they have children
that they're not going to get picked.
That's not truth.
Another one, I'm never seen or noticed.
Here's the reality.
If we believe we're not going to be seen or noticed by people
we actually believe subconsciously that God doesn't see us
and that he doesn't care.
Sylvia says, what about our parents speaking that over us?
You are going to be blank one day.
Yeah, absolutely.
But here's the thing, at some point,
when they spoke it over us,
when it becomes our inner vow is when we partnered with it.
Does that make sense, Sylvia?
Okay.
So ladies, what are we partnering with in our minds
and our spirits and our thought patterns
and the things that we're saying and confessing?
And sometimes y'all, we're not speaking it out,
but we're thinking it.
And we're agreeing with it the more that we meditate on it.
What we think about,
the Bible says that we should think on things
that are true, noble, lovely, and of good report,
things that are above only and not beneath.
Guess what?
Like the enemy of your soul
wants you to think on negative things,
things that are below where you are,
that you're never gonna get out from where you are.
I was talking with a couple people today,
Jackie and some people on the team,
and she brought up in the book,
and I don't remember what page it's on,
but I feel led to mention it tonight.
The crabs in the bucket.
Y'all know the story about the crabs in the bucket?
When one crab tries to crawl out,
the other crabs pull the crab back down.
So some of you all,
I believe the reason that came up in my spirit
is some of you all are trying to move forward,
but you're in a bucket right now with some other crabs.
And those crabs are trying to pull you back down.
And for some of you, the crabs are your own thoughts.
And as you start to really allow God
to transform your thoughts and your mind,
you're gonna be set free,
and you're gonna be able to get out of that bucket.
Because guess what?
The bucket can tip over any day because God can help you,
and you can climb right out of that thing.
So God is able.
So as you're looking at these things,
always and never statements,
or that it's never ever gonna happen,
are signal areas.
And those are ways that you can start
to determine those inner vows.
If you have any questions, ladies,
about anything I talked about tonight,
you can put that in the group,
and I'll answer your questions.
If you're not sure what your inner vows are,
you can come in and let's just start talking about it.
believe the Lord will help you get to that place
to recognize maybe what some intervals you are having are.
And for some of you, you might just think,
I don't have any intervals,
but I will tell you that most of the time we all have them.
Okay, we just don't know what they are.
So Sylvia, do we just renounce those?
Yeah, so one of the ways for me,
I come out of agreement with lies or thought patterns
this has really worked well for me
is I actually write it out on a Post-it note.
And I write out, I come out of agreement.
Like I'll give you an example.
I come out of agreement with independence
and I come into agreement with interdependence on you God.
Because I needed to come out of the mindset
of I can take care of myself.
I don't need anyone's help.
And at times I subconsciously
didn't think I needed God's help.
And so I needed to really train my mind and my heart
every day to think about, God, I wanna depend on you.
So I'm gonna come out of alignment and agreement
with independence and doing it myself
and come into agreement with depending on you,
being interdependent on you.
And so, yeah, that's one of the ways for me.
And I put those Post-it notes,
I love to put Post-its up in my bathroom
or places I can see them.
Sometimes I put them by the sink
and I just declare those things out loud.
For me, out loud really makes a difference.
I can think it and pray it in my head when people are around
but when we confess things out of our mouths,
there's so much power in that ladies, okay?
Is there an exercise in the course
for the always and ever statements?
We don't have one in there,
but I can pray about that a little bit tonight and tomorrow
and maybe put some stuff up in the group for you all
to help you, but just really pray into it
and just see what the Lord uncovers.
And like I said, if you come in the group
and even ask questions or just,
hey, this is kind of what's starting to come up,
what do you think about this?
And then we can unpack it more from there.
I'm absolutely myself, my team,
we're there to help you all continue to process
what you're learning here.
So don't think you've got to just figure it out on your own
if you're not sure, okay?
Yeah, okay.
Jodi, that would be really great.
Let me pray for us, we're already at 934.
Y'all, this went so fast tonight.
We didn't do another breakout session tonight.
I'm really sorry, but I'll make it up to you next week,
okay?
All right, Father, thank you so much for your goodness.
God, thank you for the reminder that our identity in you
is always changing, that you're leading us into new seasons
and new places.
God, I thank you that even in Isaiah,
that you speak to us about enlarging the places
of our tent pegs and expanding and preparing
to receive the new that you have for us.
So Lord, I pray that you would just continue to speak
to the ladies and reveal to them the areas
where they aren't or haven't been valuing themselves fully
because they haven't really had a great view of themselves
through your eyes.
So Lord, where they need healing in their identity,
I pray that you would just speak that to them.
I pray that you would heal them and restore them,
rebuild them, renew them.
God, that you would make every crooked place straight
and help them to hear what your spirit is saying
louder than any other voice at the enemy.
In Jesus name, amen.
I almost forgot the activation.
Don't leave anybody-
I was getting ready to ask.
Thank you.
Don't leave.
So sorry.
All right, I'm gonna show you real quick.
I'm gonna give you an example.
Oh, where is that at?
Let's see here.
There we go, cool.
Okay, two activations.
The first one is to track your thoughts this week, ladies.
So I want you just to track how,
like what thoughts are you having?
What are the negative thoughts?
What are the positive thoughts?
To practice, you know, taking every thought captive
and making it obedient to Jesus Christ.
So that's kind of what that activation is about.
And the second one is a roots drawing.
I want you to really be asking the Lord.
Let me show you a couple examples.
Ladies, you can do yours however you want, okay?
These are just examples.
You don't have to do yours like this,
but this is just to show you.
So basically the roots activation is to really pray
about what roots, healthy and unhealthy, are in your life.
So you see some of the different ones here.
And then what is the fruit that's being produced
from those roots, okay?
So for example, this is kind of how she did hers.
She mixes hers all up.
There's positive and negative all throughout.
And then she didn't end up doing the fruit
on the top of hers, but that's totally fine.
Again, this is your thing.
You guys can do with it however you want.
Here's another one.
This lady was a little more crafty
and the other lady was crafty too,
but you know, she colored hers and all that.
You don't have to do that.
It's totally up to you.
are things written on hers, it's a little harder to see it.
I don't know if y'all can see that a little bit better now.
One here is fear of rejection.
So that was an unhealthy root
that she was praying into God healing more.
And then she wrote the lies that she was believing
that were connecting to that fear of rejection.
And that was really powerful for her.
So that was why I also chose that example.
Here's another one.
This lady felt really led to not only,
you know, do a drawing, but she did a whole board
because it was setting her free so much.
So again, you guys do whatever you want with this.
But she wrote down here, you know, some three main things.
And then what she did was
she wrote other things underneath of it.
So for example, childhood perfectionism,
and she attached like grades, chores, sports,
different things in areas
where she struggled to try to be perfect.
Does that make sense?
And then up, what that led to was the fruit,
adult perfectionism,
and how that was showing up in her life.
Again, you guys don't have to do yours that way,
but I wanted to show that one to you.
Last example, oh, two more.
This one I wanted to show you
because she did hers on a computer.
This is totally fine.
This is great.
So unhealthy boundaries led to unhealthy relationships.
That was the fruit.
The root of love led to peace and connection, fruit.
Okay, so y'all getting the idea here?
Okay, here's the last one.
Fear of man leading to confusion, feeling stuck,
you know, feeling like she was living in a smaller world
than what God intended for her.
Her faith, which is a positive one,
leads to connection, to healthy relationships,
to, you know, having hope and all the things.
So she did a little bit of color in hers.
Again, you all do whatever you want.
After you finish your roots activation,
I encourage you to post them in the group
and share about your process.
Okay, so God bless you.
I love you.
So sorry I kept you late.
Have a great night, everyone.
I love you all and see you in the group.
Bye.