All right. It is one o'clock Eastern time. This is what is today? March 18th. March 18th.
This is your phase two live heart check in call. I am Carla Johnson. I'm one of your
coaches here in phase two. I'm always so excited to be here. So those of you ladies that are
either watching in replay or on live with me and have no idea who I am because maybe
you're new or haven't come to one of my calls before. I am one of your coaches and I have
been with Jackie since pretty much the beginning of last year's single and it's just been such
an honor and a privilege. So I've been, I've walked this journey that y'all are on right
now myself. So I have a lot of wisdom that I carry to help pour back into you ladies
because I've been there. And then I was in the program a little over a year and then
that's when I met my now husband. So we've been married a little over a year and a half
now. And so I get to experience it all. I get to, I've been in this program and now
I'm on the other side of it. So I, it's such an honor for me to be able to kind of pour
that back into you ladies and just know that I can partner with you. I can honestly just
again, I can, I can value where you're at right now because I've been there myself.
So I hope you ladies always hear my heart when I'm on these calls and that I just honestly,
it's truly a blessing to be able to come here and walk you ladies through this. And it's
just such a great honor to be able to see all the growth and the breakthrough that y'all
have which is just really, really rewarding. And it's just such a great way for me to be
able to pour back into this community what I got out of it in return. So that's a little
bit about me. Is there anybody that is on this call right now that's brand new to phase
two? Go ahead and raise your hand or that avatar hand. If you're not on video, please
do me a favor and go ahead and put your camera on. There's no shame in like not having makeup
on or your hair's not done or you're still in pajamas or you're like driving in the car.
It's totally fine. Like it's just us ladies here. Okay. There was a many times when I
came in with like hot mess express. So I totally get it. So there's no shame. All right. There's
no shame in our game here. Okay ladies. So Ashley, welcome to phase two or you're not
new to phase two, but this is your first live call. Awesome. Well, I'm so happy that you can
make it live. I think the most like the most breakthrough happens when you can come and
engage on these live calls. Like I love the replays. They're super valuable, but there's
just something about being able to interact with me as a coach or with the other ladies
in the program, whether it's through chat or whether or not you're answering or asking a
question, not answering. I'm the one answering questions, but you're asking a question. So I,
I'm so happy that you could be here. Okay, Melissa. Cool. Just make what you can. And
then if you have to jump off, know that this is in replay and you can always take it back
up. Is it Charis or Karis? I don't, I don't want to butcher your name. I'm really bad
at butchering names and I apologize. So you are new, new to phase two and the first time
here. Awesome. Welcome. Okay. Totally get not being able to turn on your camera. I know some
of you are at work and that's why you can't. I know that this, this time is, can be a little
challenging, but if you can turn your cameras on, please do. You can't get your camera to work
through the app. Okay. Gotcha. Working. Okay. Perfect. Awesome. Fantastic. All right. Well,
ladies again, welcome. I'm so happy to have you all here. For those of you that have been here
for a little bit, you know that we're going to do some things. We're changing things up on these
calls. We're going to really try to a lot more time answering all y'all's questions. So I'm just
going to go over a quick few housekeeping things, especially for the women that are going to watch
this in replay. And then I'm just going to touch on a couple things that I saw in the app, whether
it's through people's questions, whether it was through the roll call that I think will be
valuable for the entire group. And then I'm going to open things up for questions. Okay. And
remember, like, there's no like silly question. Like be be like, just I want to be very
transparent. Like don't not ask your question because you think it's silly.
Because oftentimes, your question is going to help someone else get breakthrough,
or it's a question that someone else was wanting answered as well.
That's how it typically works in this group.
There's always something like, oh my goodness,
I'm so glad you asked that question.
Just a few housekeeping items.
Again, ladies, make sure that you're checking out that replay tab,
as well as the courses tab.
That's where you're going to find the videos that you're going to want to watch in your week.
The courses is where you're going to find your five training videos,
which if you've been in here for a little bit,
you should know where those are at by now.
That's where you're watching one video a week.
We don't want you rushing through those videos.
Go through one a week,
process through what Holy Spirit is highlighting to you in that video for that week,
and then come and share your takeaways,
your ahas, what you're learning,
what did God highlight to you?
Share that with the community and the group.
Then your replays,
that's where you're going to have our live calls.
This Tuesday live call will be in replay.
Supernatural Saturday is in replay.
There's one Sunday night call that gets put into replay.
I think it's the last Sunday of the month.
Then any other special sessions that we have.
Last Tuesday, we had a special session for you ladies to come in and get
a sneak peek of a love seat with Jackie that will
happen once a month in phase 3 when you get over there.
That replay is up and in your catalog now.
That's under the replays tab.
Love story is very similar to what we do here,
where someone jumps in the love seat,
they press what their dating situation is,
and then they get some insight from Jackie.
We do that here in phase 2,
but know that that happens in phase 3 with Jackie once a month as well.
Then when you get to phase 3,
you'll have opportunities.
If you want to jump in the love seat,
then again, you would just notify.
There's typically a posting,
hey, does anybody want to jump in the love seat?
Then the team selects and picks people to do that.
But like I said, it's very similar to what Ebony and I do
with you ladies on these Tuesday calls.
If you can't make a live and you watch the replay,
make sure you're coming in the app and sharing what insights that stuck out to you.
I also want to preface that Jackie has noticed that there are
people that have been rushing through phase 1 and phase 2 of the program.
We really don't want you rushing through and just checking things off like it's a checklist.
Next, really spend time processing this stuff week by week.
If there's no gold medal at the end like,
yeah, look, I finished my stuff.
Really spend time processing through that.
With that being said,
here in phase 2,
you're going to spend at least a minimum of four to five weeks.
This is especially for all my newbies.
You're going to spend at least four to five weeks in
phase 2 because you're watching one video a week and there's five videos.
Then you're coming to live calls and you're participating in the app.
Once you've done that and you've completed that,
you've come to lives, watched replays,
you're engaging in the group,
that's when you will send an e-mail to admin at
JackieDorman.com requesting to shift over to phase 3.
Not everybody rushes over to phase 3, that's totally fine.
Like I said, five weeks minimum.
Some people like to sit and stay in phase 3 for just a little bit once they've gotten
through some of that coursework to be able
to process through some of their dating situation.
Now, with that being said,
there are some of you that it's going to be time to shift over to phase 3.
I don't think I see anybody on here particularly.
But there are a few people,
so if you're watching and you're looking at Melissa.
Yes, Melissa, actually, if you've been in phase 2 for about three months,
I would say if you came in phase 2 in January or before,
like in 2024, you've watched the content,
you've spent some time processing through dating,
let's really start shifting over to phase 3.
Again, you would just send an e-mail to admin at
JackieDorman.com and request to move to phase 3.
I would say, for all you new ladies,
try to shift over to phase three after about no more than three months. Okay. I know it's sad.
I get really weepy and sad when you ladies shift over to phase three, but I know it's really
help keep that momentum forward. We want you ladies to keep that forward momentum in this
group as well as in your dating experiences and such. Okay. So it's really, really important.
All right. If you're feeling a little hesitant about moving to phase three,
share it with me. Okay. Or share it with Ebony. Let's talk through, let's help you process
what's wanting to keep you back in this phase. Okay. Especially if you've been here for three
months or more. Okay. Let's help you, you know, get some process. Let's like, like unpack that
for you. Okay. All right. I think that's it for my housekeeping stuff. Just again,
make sure that you're muted until it's time for you to ask your questions. If you know,
you have a question, go ahead and put your avatar hand up so that I see it.
And then when you ladies do have a question, I really am going to emphasize, let's make those
questions short, brief and powerful. We don't need the five minute, 10 minute backstory on everything.
Okay. Just because not that we don't care about that. It's because we really want to make sure
that we get through as many of these questions as we possibly can. And so we really want to make
sure that those like ask the question, if I need more details or Ebony, and it's like, if you're
ever on Ebony's calls, if we need more detail, like we'll ask the questions and we'll help you
like move that along. Okay. If you have more than one question, ask one question first,
and then I will come back to you at the end. If there's time for your second or multiple
questions. Okay. But we want everybody to have an opportunity to ask at least their one question.
Cool. Awesome. All right. So I've got six, seven hands up. That's awesome. So let's go ahead and
pray. I'm going to do the activation and then I'm going to just touch on a few things I saw
in the app this week, and then hopefully that should take no more than 15 minutes and then we'll
get started on these questions. Okay. So heavenly father, thank you so much for this time together
today. Lord, I just really appreciate all the wonderful things that you are doing in this,
in this community. I thank you for Jackie and David. I thank you for each and every one of
these women that allow themselves to be open and vulnerable and to share their experiences here in
the community. Lord, I thank you that you allow these opportunities that other women share to
help bless and encourage and empower all the sisters here in this community. And Lord, I just
ask that you just continue to be with us and our time together and that you speak through us and
that if there's any areas that we need exposed or healed or breakthrough needs to happen, Lord,
I just ask that you allow that time and opportunity today. In your son's name we pray. Amen.
Okay. Activation. So we're going to do things a little bit differently with activations. We're
still going to do those. I know last week was a little wonky because we're just trying out this
new process of just getting more questions and doing more of a left seat sort of thing with you
ladies. But me and the team did talk about, we really do think these activations are really,
really powerful. And so for the next two weeks, I'm going to give you this activation and I want
you ladies to practice it and then be ready to come to the lives and we're going to talk through
some of this stuff. So write this down. All right. The activation that I want you ladies really,
really focusing on this week is spend time making eye contact and smiling at men when you're out
and about. Okay. Stephanie, I see you. Girl, I see you. I know. So I get some of us might
get a little uneasy with this, but there's a reason that we're doing this
is because this is just going to help you build your confidence and to come out of hiding.
Proverbs 18.22 says, when a man finds a wife, he finds favor with the Lord. When he finds her,
he can't find her if she's hiding. Okay. This is why we really feel strongly about you ladies even
coming on camera in here. Come out of hiding. All right. Let people see you. You are beautiful.
You are wonderfully made in the image of God and it's time to come out of hiding.
Be seen, all right, a lot of, I worked through this program
and I had a lot of identity stuff that I had to work through
before I found my husband or before my husband found me.
And a lot of it happened because I began to be open
to being seen and stepping out of my comfort zone,
making eye contact with men,
striking up small talk with men,
not men that I was attracted to or interested in,
but just in general, asking men for help.
Ladies, I want you to write that down.
If the opportunity arises that you need help with something,
find a man to help you.
Women that have done this activation, it will unlock things.
When you ask a man for help, oh my goodness,
like men light up, men wanna help.
They wanna provide, they wanna protect, they wanna do.
And when us women allow men to step
into that divine masculinity,
they start, like you'll start coming
into your divine feminine because they're operating
in their divine masculine.
It's really, really awesome to watch and hear the stories
when ladies do this activation.
So I really want you ladies focusing on this next week.
Find time to do that just when you're out and about,
make the eye contact, smile, say a nice little hello.
If the opportunity arises for some small talk,
make some small talk, okay?
If you're at church and at the little coffee stand
where you're getting yourself your cup of coffee for church
and there's a guy and he's just chatting something,
you know, make some small talk, like, all right?
So start stepping into this like comfort zone
of getting to know people.
Even if you're at the grocery store
and someone's behind you and, you know,
make small talk with them.
If you can't reach something on a shelf, you know,
ask them, hey, do you mind grabbing that can of whatever?
Like, I'm, you know, I'm really short
and ladies, I am short, like I'm five three.
So I'm always like, hey, I need help.
And even my husband's a little shorter too.
So sometimes I'm like, babe,
like, we might need someone to help you reach something.
No, but really practice that this week, okay?
Sound good?
All right, I'm gonna go ahead
and look through some of these comments in the chat.
Make sure I don't miss anything.
I'm almost there too, but I haven't finished the videos.
Okay, Jennifer, thank you for letting me know.
Make sure you do get to those videos, okay?
Melissa, you've been here six weeks, perfect.
Okay, I see that now.
So you can hang around for like another week or two,
but yeah, no more than three weeks.
Just in case I don't get to ask, I will join 8 p.m.
Okay, because you have a meeting, awesome, perfect.
I asked my neighbor for help opening a pickle jar.
Yes, yes, Stacy.
Girl, I mean, there's time, my husband's,
when he's at work, I'm like, I can't open something.
And then I have like my kids
and sometimes my kids can't even help me open.
And I'm like, it's frustrating.
I should do that, I need to ask them and my neighbors.
Most of my neighbors are usually home.
Some of them are much older and they're not working.
So awesome, okay, I'm getting off on a tangent.
I don't wanna do that
because I wanna keep the time.
All right, so y'all got the assignment.
And then next week we'll unpack some.
I'll let you guys share your experiences on our live call.
Okay, all right, okay, so I still quit.
Now I've got eight hands up, this is good.
All right, so I'm gonna quickly move through
some of this stuff that I noticed in the app
this weekend on Roll Call.
So just in the chat, just let me know,
how many of you have had guys ask that question
when you're on like dating apps and such,
the question, how or why are you still single?
Just let me know in the chat.
Like, yes, this happens often.
No, haven't had guys ask this.
You can even say no, I'm not even online at the moment.
So Christina, yep, you get that question often.
Yep, Rio, yep, she's getting that question often.
Oh yeah, all the time, sometimes, yep.
Ladies, I cannot stress enough that this just tends to be
that like unspoken like icebreaker question
that people think that they have to ask
because they're trying to make small talk.
And because when you're on a dating site
and you both are single and you don't wanna be single,
like people are like, oh, well, why are you still single?
Okay, so let's really talk about
how you can respond to that.
Okay, I know sometimes, again, people are just like,
oh, I hate that question.
I didn't love it either, it was kind of annoying.
But there's ways to be able to respond to that.
So let's just spend some time, you know, in the chat.
How do some of you ladies respond to that question?
Or if you're like, I get this question
and it makes me angry or it makes me annoyed,
like, let me know.
Let's like, let's unpack this a little bit.
Okay, like Melissa, you're saying that
or what's the catch with you?
I don't know what, what do they mean by that?
What's the catch?
Like, what's the, like, why are you a catch?
Is that what they're asking?
Yeah, more like, you seem amazing and great.
Like, are you a unicorn?
And like, what's really wrong with you?
Like, they're trying to get underneath
what I seem to be on the outside.
In all honesty, like when they ask that,
I think they're just trying to be charming.
Like, I know it's not charming.
Like, it can sometimes be like,
are you saying that like,
there's something wrong with me because I'm single?
I think we just have to kind of just let it kind of like,
what's that like water off a duck's back?
Just let it kind of just roll off
and just know that sometimes these guys just don't get it.
Like, they don't have a program like this
where they're getting coaching oftentimes.
They think that they're just being charming or cute.
So I think if we can kind of walk through
like how to respond to them and just kind of let it,
just give them an answer like,
or just, you know, deflect it in some way
and just start getting that small talk really going.
I do think sometimes they say that
because they just want to say,
oh, wow, you're so amazing.
Like, it's a compliment,
but then they don't realize that sometimes
the way they say it doesn't seem very complimentary, right?
Yeah.
Okay, I see some people like shaking their head.
Okay, you're in agreement.
All right.
Okay, so Rachel, you're not online right now.
Okay, Stacy, you have this in the past.
I have, but I've not been online.
Okay, app in the long time.
Okay, haven't met the man the Lord has for me yet
is typically my response.
And that was kind of like my response too is,
you know what, I just haven't found someone that,
you know, that I feel like is in alignment
with what God has for me.
And so sometimes I would say that.
Sometimes I would be like, I don't know,
I think I'm pretty amazing.
So I'm, you know, I just, you know,
sometimes I would allow my personality to come out of that.
And I'm one of those people that kind of have
like a humorous, like sarcastic
kind of personality at times.
I kind of joke about things.
I don't take things super, super seriously.
So I just, again, I just try to be light hearted,
especially when I was getting to know people,
I was trying to just be light and fun.
And so sometimes that would be like,
I would like make a comment.
And then what I would do is I turn it back on them.
Be like, you know, I just haven't met the person
the Lord has for me yet, you know,
and I'm, you know, why do you think that you're not,
you know, in a relationship right now?
Like, I kind of sometimes will flip it back on them.
So, okay, so that was that one.
One time I just said, I wish I knew.
Exactly, I would say the same thing.
Like, if I knew I'd be able to tell you,
why are you still single?
Like, turn it back on them, ask them the same question.
Like, you know, just have fun with it.
Just haven't found the right person yet.
Okay, so you have, Caitlin,
you have family members that ask you that.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah, how does that, when that happens,
like, how do you respond to that?
Well, I'll say, and I usually take it in,
I try to take it as a compliment,
because it's like, you're so great,
why are you still single?
But it just taps into my, like, yeah,
I say it like, why, I wish I knew.
And I'll usually just say, like,
I just haven't met my person yet.
But it gets hard saying that year after year.
Yeah, absolutely.
Or something like, you know,
and if your family's asking, I'd be like,
you know, I think that God's just got someone
pretty spectacular,
and that God's just preparing that person for me.
So be praying for my husband.
Or if you know a single person, by all means,
send them my way, auntie.
Send them my way, cousin.
Like, whoever it is that's like, hey, you're right.
You think I'm pretty awesome?
You know any single Jesus-loving men?
Send them my way.
You got my contact information.
You know who my mama is.
Right.
Like, turn it around that way.
Yeah.
So, okay, these are all good responses, ladies.
Read through those for sure.
Get some ideas, because I know that comes up.
Christina, your seven-year-old nephew has asked you that.
I love that.
I get it, I know.
It seems like, you know, what?
My son was like that, okay?
So when I joined this program, my son was five years old,
and I would pick him up from his dad
and my son would be like, hey, mom,
is there a ring on your finger?
I'd be like, no, why?
Oh, I don't know, I just thought
maybe you got married this weekend.
Like, what?
So, I mean, that was my child.
So I knew my, like, that was the cool thing,
is that God showed me that my son's heart was prepared.
So any of you single mommas out there
know that your love story is your children's love story, too.
And sometimes what can happen is, you know,
if our children aren't ready,
so sometimes that might be,
it's a preparation period for our children, too.
And so God's got them in mind, too,
and is thinking about their hearts
just as much as he's thinking about yours.
And so, like, my son, like, knew this program.
He would be on the calls with me,
like, sporadically and things like that.
Like, him and Jackie were like this,
like, even now, like, sometimes when I go see Jackie
and he's like, can you call me when you're with her
so I can say hi to her?
Like, you know, that was,
I was in the program and it was much smaller,
so, like, we had more time with Jackie,
but, you know, my kid, like,
he was on the prayer calls with me.
So he was hearing the prayer, it prepared his heart.
God was moving in his heart, too, is why I say that.
So, again, again, I just went off on a tangent.
So let's get back, let me get back in here.
So, yeah, you had a four-year-old ask you
if I was a kid or a mom, it's so cute.
You learned to laugh about it.
Yep, absolutely.
So I hope that helps you ladies with this whole,
like, why are you single, dah, dah, dah, dah,
kind of question, because it will come up, okay?
Okay, a couple more things.
What to do if they want your number right away, okay?
Versus having a few exchanges and getting off the app.
So, ladies, there are gonna be, like,
remember when you're on these dating sites,
you're on these dating sites to date,
hopefully in real life, okay?
And so I wouldn't say that it is a red flag
if a guy wants your number and wants to, like,
take you out on a date right away.
They're just probably like,
let's just get to know you in real life, okay?
Now, if they're asking for your number,
I strongly encourage all of you to get a Google Voice number.
This way, you're not giving out your personal number,
but they have that Google Voice number, okay?
So that you can have exchanges with them on there, all right?
But don't be, I think you can text with Google Voice,
I don't know 100%.
I, at the time, did not have a Google Voice number.
I felt very, I would always wait to have a few exchanges
and then if I felt comfortable,
I would give my phone number because I just felt like
if they turn into a creeper, I can block them.
However, I do know that sometimes people
can use your phone number to scam you.
In certain ways, I don't know.
I don't know the whole, like,
world of hacking and scamming and stuff,
but I think sometimes they can do that.
So Stephanie, you have one for business,
but you don't know if you can text, okay.
Here's the thing, give them a Google Voice number,
have a phone call.
I know it's a little weird at times,
but I would say just go ahead.
If they want a number and they wanna talk to you
in real life, then, you know,
go ahead and give them a Google Voice number
and have the phone call.
Or if they ask you for your number, be like,
I don't feel comfortable giving my number out right away,
but can we set up a Zoom call?
Can we have a video call instead?
Get a video call in.
I love video calls because it kind of breaks the ice
a little bit.
You get to see the person's facial reaction.
You get to see, like, do they look like their pictures
or do they look like those pictures
are like 15 or 20 years old?
Like that happens.
Sometimes people feel like, oh my gosh,
like this person's photos don't look like who they are now.
So that's why I think video is perfect.
And with Zoom, when you have a free Zoom account,
you can get like a 40 minute Zoom call.
And then that helps you keep it in that less than an hour
so that you're not deep diving into conversation.
You're just.
seeing and interacting with someone face-to-face.
Okay?
So I hope that answers some questions.
I saw someone bring up in one of the, in the app,
something about people wanting,
asking them on a dating site to move to WhatsApp.
So, if that was you,
I think, was it somebody in here even?
Maybe.
Stephanie, was that you?
I don't know if Stephanie's on here.
She might have to have jumped off.
I don't know if I just said that right.
I'm tripping over my words.
Anyway, if you're online and they're messaging you
and they're like, hey, let's get off the app.
Come to me on WhatsApp.
I'm gonna, ladies, I'm gonna really strongly advise
not to move over to WhatsApp,
especially if you haven't had any interactions
with a person.
I'm not saying that this happens all the times,
but sometimes, sometimes, okay?
This might indicate it's a scammer.
I've seen that happen in our community
where people use WhatsApp to scam.
So that's why I say, get the Google voice number,
get them on a Zoom call.
Get them face-to-face with you.
All right?
So I hope that helps.
Navigate that.
Okay.
All right.
We've got a lot of questions.
I'm already 30 minutes in,
so I'm gonna hold the stuff that I,
other stuff that I had to talk about
because I wanna start taking y'all's questions
and then maybe some things will come up.
A couple of things that I was gonna do
was kind of, and any of you ladies are like,
yes, I wanna talk about it, raise your hand,
and then we can get to it at the end.
How to handle guys not wanting to move forward,
what to do if a guy's grabbing your hand
or wants to give you, like goes in for the hug
or goes in for a kiss when you're on a date,
like how to handle that if you wanna know,
we can talk about that after we get through the questions.
I also wanna encourage you ladies,
Anja's, if you guys go in the app,
look at Anja's, I think I'm pronouncing it,
A-N-J-A, look at some of her posts
because she had healthy communication with a guy
that she spent a month getting to know
and she realized that it wasn't gonna move
romantically forward and so she communicated that to him
and then he was kind of responding in some unhealthy ways
and so at some point, I want you ladies to check that out
and look at that and we can always unpack that as well.
I think there's a lot of good things in that situation
that will help a lot of you ladies
so we can always unpack that later if we have time.
Okay, let's get to questions.
All right, and I'm just gonna even go through here
on the chat.
Okay, so yeah, Stephanie had to go.
What if they ask for your number and they say,
and they said, text, not call?
Yeah, that's questionable.
Again, I'd be like, I'm not comfortable
giving out my number, why can't we get on a Zoom call?
And if they're not gonna wanna jump on a video call
with you, like just move forward.
How to handle those that don't wanna move forward.
Okay, so Janice, that was one.
Well, Janice, you had your hand up for another question.
So Janice, I'm gonna go ahead and go to you
to ask your question.
How are you?
I'm well.
Yes, I do have a question.
So over last year, I had this friendship with a guy
and as I got to know him, I became more interested
and then I finally got to ask him to go to coffee
a few weeks ago and it turned out that he,
because what happened was we ended up on the same
dating app and he popped on my app, on my,
yeah, he did.
So just recently he popped up on your dating app.
Exactly, and so at that time, soon after we went to coffee
and he said to me that he was just interested
from the very beginning as a friend
because he's looking for someone that would,
he would be excited to get to know
and because he also, he wants to be a dad
and he wasn't sure if he could still be a dad
because he's in his mid-40s.
And so basically he was looking for somebody
that's a lot younger probably.
And so, but the thing is we're around each other a lot
and we're good friends and he's in my church
and we're in the same circles and stuff like that.
It seems like nothing has changed as far as friendship goes
but what I'm having a hard time is
I've had attachments emotionally to him.
And so how do I go about in healing through that?
And also not having that pattern with men
that I am becoming interested in.
And then besides that,
because we're in the same community, the same church,
what happens if I see him date one of my friends?
Like it-
Yeah, so you're interested in him
and he's basically communicated to you
that he's not, he's only interested in you as a friend.
He's not looking to date you romantically.
Right.
And so you've known him for over a year, right?
Yes.
And so let's talk about that.
When you first knew him,
did those feelings or those,
did you have interested feelings in him
in the very beginning?
No.
So how long have you realized
that you were interested in wanting to date him?
I think within the,
probably the fourth month period of getting to know him.
You knew him for about four months as a friend.
Yes.
Like that four month mark, you're like,
oh, I'm really interested in him.
Yeah, because I wasn't sure if I could trust him
and things like that.
And I had so much anxiety when it came to like,
thinking about even dating.
But as I got to know him,
I think within that four to six month period,
I realized, wow, this is a nice guy.
Like he, this is a good guy and he's trustworthy.
You know, so.
Okay.
So yeah, I mean, if that was four months in
and you said you've now known him for over a year,
so we're looking at eight months
of being interested in this guy.
You know, I've been there.
My guess is you probably started having fantasies
about what it would look like
if you guys had a relationship.
Would that be fair in saying that?
Yes.
In the beginning, yes.
And I tried to like over the few times,
tried to like get it away of my mind
until I felt at peace
because it was giving me anxiety as well.
Yeah, ladies, because when we fantasize
about what something can look like,
we're living in this like future, right?
And when we are looking at the future
and we're living in the future,
or even sometimes when we're living in the past,
like that's when anxiety really can come in.
And so Janice, I think this is really important
for you to just, again,
you're seeing a situation that happened
and it's not to keep you stuck,
but it's to allow you some time to heal
and understand that, you know,
to not fall in the same pattern is having more confidence.
Like I'm curious why at four months,
why didn't you try to engage with him?
Why didn't then did you not ask,
hey, let's go meet for coffee.
Let's go do something.
Let's go hang out.
Because I was still having anxiety about my past
and I felt like I wasn't healed completely
or to even ask someone to go out.
Like I had so much fear.
I had so much fear.
Well, and that's, yeah.
And like you get that now, right?
And now you've gotten this program,
you've gotten through heartwork and now you have tools.
So I don't want you sitting here focusing,
what did I do wrong?
But now it's like, okay, I have these tools.
How can I allow myself to continue to move forward
so that I don't fall into the same pattern
like I did with this other guy?
I think it's important now that, you know,
I think it's good that you guys had a communication
that you guys actually went to coffee
and you can let that rest now and be like, wow,
like I see that he's not interested in me like that.
And I don't think it has to be like,
you need to beat yourself up that you're not good enough.
I think it's just not your spirit mate.
And that's fine.
It means that there's somebody better out there for you.
So if you think this guy is really great,
think about your spirit mate, he's gonna be even better.
And so really spending time and processing,
like what thoughts and beliefs are you like thinking
and really taking that stuff to the Lord.
Because sometimes if we're starting to align
with certain beliefs and if we have anxious thoughts,
what fears are attached to those anxious thoughts
and take those to the Lord and ask where those come from?
Where are those roots?
Because now we can heal through that.
We got some revelation
and now we can start healing through it.
What does God say about?
And so I would even encourage you because I would I would say that you because you've had
eight months of really
Liking this guy and hoping that it was going to turn into relationship. It's possible that you have some soul ties with him
You have some soul ties on what could have been and what you wished it was and so I think it would be
You know
beneficial to go through a process of breaking some of those soul ties and that will help you heal and
Have you watched the dating 101 video? I think this is where it comes from. Have you watched dating 101?
Um, I'm re-watching it right now. Okay process. She talks about
Situationships and delusionships
Really want you to focus on that not coming from a place of condemnation
Okay, or shame or guilt but really listen and tap into what Jackie speaks
When she talks about those because I think you're gonna get some breakthrough from hearing a lot of that
Because I think that's what you kind of probably have found yourself in this like delusionship like you you have
fantasized
What this could have been and you got hopeful and then now that's that's what you're you're attached to
And so it's gonna be
Recognizing that let's break that soul time. Let's let's process through
what are some of the fears and anxious thoughts that I'm aligning and attaching to and
Let's take those to the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to start giving us revelation about what?
What does he say about that?
And aligning with truth and not the lies
Through some of that stuff. Does that help make sense?
Yes. Yes, okay
But I want you to know like don't don't beat yourself up for this. I
Before I found this program. I that that happened to me often I
get really excited about somebody and
just really hope that that was my person and
They get so discouraged when it didn't turn out that way
But I didn't have heart work I didn't have those tools and so we don't have to focus on you know the past
But really move forward like okay, that was my past
I didn't have this this information, but I have this new information now and God can help me heal through that
Okay, and I had to really link a lot of it was it was tied to my identity and what I thought about myself and
How I saw myself
And so I would just spend time with Holy Spirit and really process through some of that stuff
Okay, and then come to us next week and let let us hear about what you've processed through
Okay. Okay. I think there's even um, I
I have to look it up. So just remind me in the app if there's any soul tie
Video we had it a long time ago. We might have taken it down
Because we might yeah, I know how to do that
Okay, good
so, you know
so I would just keep doing that a lot of times when we try to do that like when we try to like I know and
When I try to like literally break a soul tie like I have asked I have to give something to God and I'll be like
Okay, God, I need you to replace it with something
Because what will happen is I will pass over the pen and I'll surrender it and I'll be like, okay God you take this
But then he goes to take it. I'm still holding on to it. He can't take something if I'm holding on to it
All right, but I have to give it back and then you know happens like he'll take it and then I'll go try to take
It right back from him. You know, he's he's a loving God. He's gonna be like you want it back. I'm not gonna I'm not
He gives us free will and so I think it's just again
It's just constantly staying in prayer staying in relationship with him
Constantly like I have to sometimes give the pen over to him several times. I didn't do that in my walk in this community
Like I didn't want to give up a lot of things. I didn't want to surrender the pen
I wanted things to happen my way and ladies when I finally was just like I had enough God like I'm done
I'm stepping out of it. I'm out of the driver's seat
You're just gonna have to do something
That's when the Lord brought my husband. I
Had like I was not fully surrendered I kept picking things back up
Like I can't stress enough how important it is for you ladies to get a hold of surrendering the pen
We talked about this in phase one. It's so
important
To really practice surrendering the pen
Okay.
Janice, I hope this helps you.
I hope this helps some of you other ladies that are on here, too, that might be struggling
with some of the same things, especially when you, because some of this is just like you
feel rejected, but I want to encourage you ladies to know that it's not rejection.
It's God's protection because he has something really great for you, and sometimes we think
what is best for us is really not the best for us, and he knows, and he truly, truly
knows.
Okay.
So sometimes rejection is protection.
It's God defended because he knows what he's got coming for you.
Okay.
All right, Christina, I'm going to take you, then I got Liz, Stacey, Ashley, Charis, Ashley.
Christina, can you hang tight?
Are you able to stay on for a little bit longer?
I have another like 15 minutes.
Okay.
So Christina, I'm going to take you, and then Charis, I'll take you, then Liz, Stacey,
Janice, if you can take your hand down, unless you still have a second question, and then
I have Ashley and Kaitlyn.
Okay.
All right.
Where did...
Okay.
Christina, you just took your hand down.
Okay.
So what have you got for us, Christina?
Oh, a dating fail.
So one is, is love bombing like an automatic red flag, like if I see that?
Do I just like...
Well, let's...
Like we're perfect together, like we had two phone calls.
Okay.
It started last Wednesday, and he's never said anything like terrible to me.
Okay.
It was all...
It started to get very physical in the things he was saying.
Okay.
Can you give me examples?
Like, if you keep this up, I'm going to have to make you mine.
And then he had asked me, like, what's my type?
And I'm like, well, I don't really have a type when it comes to like, he was like, do
you like white guys?
I'm like, I don't have a type when it comes to how someone looks, because I feel like
I've been attracted to people that are all very different.
So I ended up asking him, and he was like, I don't really like white girls.
I like girls who are more like petite and exotic.
And I'm like, I don't like, I just can't do the exotic part, you know, like, that just
kind of pisses me off.
I don't know.
I'm not sure what that means.
And he asked me about following me on Instagram, and I'm not very...
I don't like doing that, but I caved, which I know was my fault.
Okay, that's fine.
And I also saw his page and saw that he was like, he looked like a partier.
So then I went to his following, and he follows a bunch of half-naked girls, and I'm like,
this is not...
This is just not my vibe.
So I kind of tried to say things to make him reject me, because I'm like, for me, it's
easier than rejecting someone, and I don't know why I feel that way.
So I kind of just stopped texting him, which I did give him my number.
But then yesterday, he even did the whole, I'd go to church with you, all the things.
But it just didn't feel like he was being genuine.
And then yesterday, he sent me a reel, four reels.
I didn't even watch half of them.
But the first one was this girl in Atlanta, where I live, going to get her vagina waxed
and explaining how it looked and how great it was.
Wait, he sent that to you?
Dude, that's gross.
I just sent him a message and blocked him, because I'm like, I don't even want...
He's blocked, right?
Yes.
You blocked him now, right?
Yes, 100%.
Okay, good.
But I also feel bad.
I'm like, should I have waited for a response?
No.
Or should I?
But I'm like, who sends that to someone?
Yeah.
No.
Ladies, okay.
So many good things that I want to talk about.
So he did bring up the Christian.
He asked me what was most important to me.
And I said, my faith is most important.
I was like, I'm just going to go for it.
And I want someone who feels the same way.
And he was like, well, I'm a Christian, I got baptized.
But I didn't pry because I didn't want to be like, I know this is like dating to discover
and we shouldn't like dig deep.
So I'm trying not to dig deep.
But I'm like, if I dug deeper, maybe I wouldn't.
Well, here's the thing.
I don't think you digging deeper would have made you realize that this guy's not a Christian.
I don't think you need to dig because guess what?
He exposed himself.
Ladies, these men, if you spend some time getting to know them, their true self will
surface.
This guy's true self was surfacing.
Okay.
So again, when he's saying things, if this keeps, keeps up, I'll have to make you mine.
Like, what do you mean, if this keeps up, like, what was he referring to?
Like me.
being like compatible with him. Okay everything that we talked about and things I I so when he
said that I was like oh that's like that's quite a compliment to make when we barely know each other
is what I said. Okay that's what I'm saying so ladies when you have this stuff come up it's
important to make sure like watch how you are responding okay how are you like how are you
drawing a boundary like if he's like oh if this keeps up and I have to make you mine and be like
well I'm not quite sure what you mean by that I don't think it's healthy to jump in to a
relationship without having some time to get to know each other how about we spend more time
getting to know each other before we make statements like that would that be cool with you
and then watch to see if they respect that boundary I think again I think you're seeing
that this man has not he's not respecting boundaries okay and again you said that the
Instagram thing I'm glad that you recognize like the following on Instagram like ladies
I cannot stress enough do not allow strangers to have access to your social media
like you don't know these strangers and depending on what y'all share on your social media like
you can potentially put yourself in some dangerous situations and I'm not saying that to freak y'all
out okay but but I will say Christina in this situation I think once you saw what he's following
and what he's sending to you you're like his true character is surfacing and now you can make that
judgment call of this is not going to move anywhere romantically we're not compatible and this is a
bless and block and ladies when you bless and block men you don't have to tell them that you're
blocking them this man has like again he's showing his true colors and he's showing his true
he's showing his true colors and you can bless him and here's the thing like I don't want to talk
negative about this man because clearly he's got some heart wounds too you know there's a lot like
men in our society are under attack spiritually he said what's that he sent me a screen recording
of his blood work because we were talking about like functional medicine we're very into like
health and wellness but he clicked on his testosterone I was like really really you
should not be like that's what I'm saying like we don't need to have someone's blood work
like this is where you know again like we have to pace our kinds of conversations that we're
having with men and when when people want to go deeper we have to be able ladies to set boundaries
of saying hey these are good questions I think we can discuss these once we've gotten to know
each other better let's make sure that when we're with with we're not just jumping to answer
questions from men but we were really stopping and thinking hmm is this something that I need
to discuss with a complete stranger should I spend some more time getting to know them before
I learn more information like this kind of information about them or vice versa
like you brought something up that I want to I think this situation is going to help you spend
some time getting some revealing and healing is you said a couple things you said something about
feeling bad we like why are we feeling bad when someone is not making healthy choices
and is not respecting boundaries why do you have to feel bad
I think because I know what it feels like to be rejected I would rather be rejected
which sounds terrible so but let's let's that's what I'm saying like I would spend time processing
through that like you you don't want someone to for him it's like because I know he's not my person
him it's like because I know he's not my person I'm fine if he rejects me
I think it's going to be empowering for you to be able to set strong boundaries and say hey
you know I I don't think that these conversations are appropriate
um I don't see that this moving forward romantically I wish you the best of luck
I think it's empowering for us to have healthy communication because ladies I say this
because in marriage you ladies are going to have to practice healthy communication
it's really important and so you're not going to want to have like I have to have
hard conversations with my husband at times that some of the things that I
to like share and express to him, he might feel some rejection too. And so I, but am I not going
to communicate that to him because I'm afraid of how he's going to feel? Or is it going to be
respectful in our marriage for me to bring these things up because we're supposed to help each
other? He wants me to feel safe, vulnerable, secure, and protected and provided for. I can't
do, he can't do that if I'm not willing to communicate my needs and my boundaries.
And so I would spend time that with this coming up, like you're saying, it's easier for me
to do something for someone to reject me than me to reject them. So what happens if you get
into marriage and there's just like the enemy is going to sit there and tell you things,
because let me tell you ladies, the enemy does not want y'all married. The enemy doesn't,
when you get married, there will be spiritual attack on your marriage, especially if it's
kingdom. And I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm saying this to just prepare for it.
Spend the time in the singleness to start getting the tools and the resources and practicing this
preparation. Because when you step into marriage and you ladies will hear, Jackie says this,
every time I hear Supernatural Saturday, she's always communicating to you ladies that marriage
is hard, but it doesn't have to be easy. It just has to be worth it. And so I think it's so
important that we're honest with you ladies about that. So again, like if there's something that
comes up and then the enemy is feeding you lies, are you going to start acting a certain way with
your husband? Because you just want him to reject you because you're feeling like, oh, like ladies,
I can't tell you how many times like I feel something comes up that I have to work on in
myself. And I'm like, it would be so much easier if my husband would just reject me because then
it would just, it would validate all the things that I'm feeling. But that's what the enemy wants
because the enemy is sitting here feeding me lies about myself. And it would be easier if
my husband was just like, I don't want to handle you. Like I don't want to deal with you. That's
not like, that's not what marriage is. And so I think it's important for you to spend some time
and process through that. Like, where does that fear come from? What lie are you believing? What
are you aligning with in this belief that it's easier for someone to reject me than me have to
feel like I have to reject them? Why, what fear do you have about rejecting somebody?
What fear is that tied to? What's that rooted in?
Again, and so you've said you have felt rejection. And so is there process stuff that you can work
through? Like, is there something in that, you know, feeling rejection in your past?
Is there some revealing and healing that needs to take place?
Does that help? Yeah. Okay. Come back. Let us know like what the Lord reveals to you this week.
Okay. But I think again, I, I think you, you're handling it well. I think you're noticing like
that dude, completely not health, not healthy and, and a blessing block. You don't even have
to let ladies, you don't have to let men know that you're blocking them. You don't need to
wait for a response. Just block them. Especially if they're sending you like videos of a woman
getting her vagina wax, like that's gross. Like that's completely inappropriate. That's a block.
Like be done with you do boy. Bye. Like that's not masculine. That's not, that's not, no, no,
that's gross. All right. Cheris, what you got? And then I'm going to take Liz.
Am I pronouncing your name right? Can you pronounce it for me?
Cheris. Cheris. Okay. Thank you.
Okay. So my question is quite okay. Cause I, I just came into phase two and it's all these dating
stuff. I, I'm not, I think I need some nudge. I need some encouragement. I'm, I'm not too sure
how to, cause I am not, I don't want to go to online dating. Okay. Yeah. So I, I, I was
considering like joining some interest group.
you know, getting that class or something just to get to know more people. Yeah, no,
I think that's good. Okay, ladies. Um, I know a lot of you, oftentimes we see this every like we
see this often in phase two, there's a lot of times people are hesitant and doing online dating,
which I totally understand. I didn't like the idea of online dating myself. I will encourage
if that's any of you where you're like, I don't want to do online dating. I really think we need
to spend time asking what about online dating? Are we like reluctant to do? We're not forcing
you to do it. I will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and try it. Um, however,
if you do decide that you don't want to do online dating, then like Charis, um, Kara said, like,
what can you do instead of online dating? So get into activity groups, like get into singles groups,
go into community, volunteer, put yourself out there to where you are at least interacting with
other people. Are you communicating with your friends and family that you're single Pringle
ready to mingle? Okay. Like, yes, I love that single Pringle, right? Single Pringle ready to
mingle. All right. Like, we're not going to force you to do online dating if you don't want to do it,
but you have to put yourself out there. So I think again, just if, if it's, you know,
ask the Lord to highlight, what are some activity groups? What are some things that I can get into?
Can I, are there any volunteer opportunities in my area? Are there any, um, like if you're maybe
even going to a farmer's market, like now we're stepping into spring. I feel like now there's
farmers markets in a lot of these cities that y'all probably live nearby. Like I know some of
you are like, I live in a really small town. Is there at least a bigger town close to you that
you can drive to and go like, go to events, go to farmers markets, again, practice making eye
contact and smiling with men, put yourself out there, engaging in people, start having small talk
engage, even with women, ladies, sometimes you might run into somebody and it's another woman
and you're having conversation. And then you realize like, they might be like, Oh, this is a
really cool girl. And you start talking and you're talking about how you're single or in this
community. And they may be like, Oh, I actually have a single friend. Let me connect you with
them. Like you never know who you meet, who might be connected to your spirit mate. Y'all like just
make small talk, whether it's with men or women. I was just down in Austin for my birthday. And
my husband and I got to hang out with Jackie and David. And Jackie and I were like shopping on,
you know, out shopping and stuff. And we're in a store smelling candles. And some like,
some woman was there and Jackie and her started making small talk. And next thing you know,
Jackie Sharon, like, Oh, this is what I do. I'm a matchmaker all this. And she's like, Oh,
I have a friend that single that's right here. And so this girl comes up and like Jackie's
interaction with her. And I look at, I'm like, Hey, like follow her. It works. Like I've been
married a year and a half because of this woman. Like, you'll never know who you meet might be
connected to your spirit mates. So Karis, like, I would say if you're like, absolutely not going
to do online dating. Okay. We're not going to like, force feed it to you. Okay. But get out,
make small talk, put yourself out in, in activities, events, and try to meet people that
way. Even if it's just a new set of girlfriends, like you never know, even the girlfriends here
in this community, like how many of these women are dating people that are, they're like nice guys,
but they're not a spirit mate for them, but maybe they might be a spirit mate for you.
I really appreciate that. Yeah. But I think distance is one of the main problem
because I'm not in the States. Okay. Well, where are you at? I'm in Asia. Okay. Yeah. I'm in
Singapore. Oh, cool. Yeah. I remember you sharing about that. Yeah. I'm in a different time zone. So
that's why I couldn't. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. So, I mean, are there not events and activities in
Singapore? I mean, that's a pretty big city, isn't it? Like, so I'm thinking, I mean, the one thing
that came into mind is I want to go back to dance class. Yeah. So, so yeah, I'll try that next month.
Yeah. Go to dance class, start engaging with some of the people that are in the class with you.
you hang out with them, meet for coffee, get to know them, and you never know.
Yeah, so this, yeah, and then the low-stake dating that you often recommend like video
calls and stuff, can we skip that and just face-to-face meet?
It's totally okay.
Okay, I'm confused what you're asking.
Can you clarify that for me?
Sure.
My question is, for the low-stake, low-stake dating, yes, can we just go, instead of doing
a video call first or doing a Zoom call beforehand, can we just like meet face-to-face?
Absolutely.
Ladies, I honestly like, if you can get an in-person date, get the in-person date.
The only time I really would like the video date is like, you might be on an app and you're
like just getting some exchanges and maybe they live a little further away, you want
to see that they're an actual person, then get the video call.
But here's the thing, no, am I, oh, I cut out for a second.
Can y'all hear me?
Give me the, okay.
Like my screen froze and I'm like, no.
What was I saying now?
Oh my goodness.
So yeah, the, good grief, like now I can't even remember what I was saying.
Oh, the calls, the getting face-to-face, that, like I always say, that's so important.
Like I would rather do that, especially if you know who they are, like, and you know
that they're a real person, like get on an in-person date because here's the thing, as
long as you're in a public place, like don't go, go in for the in-person date and go like
super late at night and go somewhere where it's secluded, like go somewhere public, okay?
Drive yourself, like then you're fine.
And then I would even say like, if you, if you go on an in-person date and you get some
weird vibes or whatever, and then you're leaving, like go drive somewhere and go get
coffee and go hang out at a coffee shop for a hot minute, maybe call a friend or something
like that where you're like not going home right away.
Again, like this is why I say don't do like your in-person first date, as long as you're
not making it like super late at night, do it during the daytime, go grab, you know,
coffee in the morning, go on a walk somewhere public in a public park, it would be more
ideal.
But yeah, you don't have to do a video date before an in-person date.
If you can get the in-person date and you're comfortable going in-person date, I say go
for it.
Does that help?
Ladies, you're cool with that?
Yeah, it's good.
Thanks a lot.
I think sometimes for some ladies, they feel better when they've had a video call with
somebody because then they know that it's the real person.
I've done that in the past, but sometimes I'm like, let's just meet in person.
Like I'll go to a coffee shop or a bookshop, like I did a first date at a bookstore one
time and we went around, we talked about, oh, look at this book, like what kind of books
do you like to read?
And then I started talking about Jackie's program, like, you know, and I was looking
for Jackie's like one of Jackie's books, you know, and that's how I got, you know, to start
telling this guy about, you know, the program that I was in, like little small talk, little,
you know, organically came up about my, my faith and all that kind of stuff.
So there's ways of doing that.
All right.
I've got Liz, Stacy, Ashley, Caitlin, and then Stephanie's back.
Awesome.
Okay.
Liz, what you got?
Hey, so my question is, at this point in my dating process, there's a guy I've been seeing
for like about eight, about nine dates at this point and yeah, and you had given me
some really good advice, which was to kind of ask him, like, what's his level of attraction?
Cause he hasn't been overtly showing like, like he's been consistent in how he's showing
up, but not like making any romantic gestures.
I wasn't sure, like, is he really into me romantically or he just enjoys my company?
So that was really good advice.
I haven't had a chance to have that conversation with him because I just got back from Africa
and then he is leaving on a trip this week.
And then I also had a surgery.
So it was just like really crazy couple of weeks scheduling wise.
So he's been really busy and then I've been in recovery.
So yeah, we haven't had that conversation.
He's gone for the next like two and a half.
weeks. Okay. I haven't been talking to anyone else recently
because I was overseas. And like, you know, there's been
stuff going on my world. So my question was, you know, at this
juncture, should I be going back on the apps and trying to
connect with some more people? Or kind of wait till he gets
back and see like, you know, what do you what do you what do
you feel comfortable doing? Um, I mean, I really like this guy.
And we've spent quite a bit of time at this point. And if he
is interested to move forward, I'm like, I'm agreeing. Like,
it's been nothing but green lights with him. I'd have the
ambiguity of like, if he Yeah, it I don't know, outside of the
ambiguity. Um, but I also, and this comes from like, my
history, but I've burned myself with waiting around for people
that like, okay, weren't really interested to make that kind of
only say, I mean, commitment, yes. But like, yeah, waiting
around for people that like, they weren't really wanting to
be with me like that. And so part of me wants to, you know,
just go back on the apps and connect with some people to like,
remind myself there's other people out there. And if it
doesn't work out with this guy, then there's some other irons
in the fire, like connections with other people, maybe. But I
don't know if like, is that a good idea? This point? Is that
me just trying to like, evade my anxiety?
I think you're the only one that's gonna be able to answer
that. I think, you know, I want like our whole purpose here at
last year single is to help you ladies building confidence in
your decision making as well. And I think you know, it is, I
think it's probably, there's probably a reason that some of
this is surfacing, you know, because like you said, you have
some anxiety with, you know, in the past feeling like you've
been burned before, because you've been waiting around. And
so it could be possible that now this this fear is coming in,
because you haven't, you haven't been able to have the
conversation with this guy. Yeah, what this is gonna look
like. And I think that's probably what's starting to
surface is that there's some fear. It sounds like there's
some fear that now you've got to wait, what if this guy isn't
interested? What if he isn't attractive, and now I'm getting
fearful. And so I think this is just starting to reveal and
you've got some feelings that are invested in this now you've
spent some time getting to know him. And so I think this is just
possibly being highlighted as a field of fields to heal the
fields. Right? So spend time with the Lord and ask like,
where's this feeling come from? What are these feelings being
attached to? What am I believing with this? I think that's
probably the bigger question is, you have some fear because you
don't know where you stand with this person. Yeah. What what's
the motive for you going on the apps and getting to know more
people? Or what's the motive for you not going on the apps and
getting to know people? And then spending some time with
those two questions? What's my motive in both of these possible
decisions? And which one is God speaking to you? And what is he
calling you to do in this decision making process and
being confident in making a decision for yourself? And then
and being okay with it, you know, and again, I can't stress
enough that when we spend time with the Lord about some of our
decisions and what to do. Yeah. If we make a poor decision, does
our father not love us enough to give us a GPS system where he's
like, hey, take a different route. He'll reveal that he
does. I love using the whole like GPS for for God and what
what happens, you know, we're on a different route. He, he'll
help us. We have free will he gave us this gift of free will
do you not think that he knew by giving us this gift of free
will that we weren't going to need to still lean on him. And
he wasn't going to help us and guide us and direct us and take
a different path when we maybe veer off course. And sometimes
it's like, he'll hit he wants us to veer off that course, because
there's some revelation in that there's some process in that.
No. And so I would spend time, like I said, spend time with
those two questions. What's my motive in going and dating on
these apps? What's my motive and not? Okay, and follow the piece
and see what he reveals to you and be and be confident and know
whatever decision you're gonna make.
He's with you in all of it.
Okay.
You can't mess anything up.
You really can't.
Especially when you're in, when you're in alignment with him and you're processing things
with him and you're spending time with him, like it's so, so valuable.
So let us know what you decide.
Spend some time with it.
Okay.
I don't want you to make a knee-jerk reaction.
But spend some time with it.
Okay.
See what gets revealed.
Feel the feels.
Okay.
All right.
That's good.
Thank you, Carla.
Creative.
You're welcome, Liz.
Thank you.
All right.
Stacy.
My question really is, I'm, you know, just getting started on all this and I haven't
gotten very far into the videos and stuff, so, but I have gotten back on online dating
and it's just kind of overwhelming, I feel like at this point.
Is it better to maybe wait a bit and like watch the, get, get a little further into
phase two into the dating one-on-one and online apps, videos, or I don't know what you recommend.
What feels overwhelming to you?
Just like sifting through all the people and there's just a lot of men that they'll like
reach out and schedule the date and the, or, you know, try to meet up and then they
don't actually like schedule the day.
It just kind of feels like a lot to deal with, like when you're still trying to do all the
learnings and stuff and also try and incorporate.
And like, there's a lot of, a lot of guys that you talk to, you know, like.
So let me ask, how often are you jumping on the app?
How much time are you spending each day on the app?
I'm trying to just keep it to like a couple minutes at a time.
You know, like I'm on Facebook dating and it's, it's not the most, it's not the greatest
as far as like notifications go.
So like trying to go, if, if like I find a few minutes, then I'll go like look and see
if I've got any messages.
How many times a day are you going and spending just a couple minutes?
Probably like a couple times a day.
I think to help with it, not feeling overwhelming, I think it's, and I'm just going to speak
from my experience.
So I was a very, I mean, I was a single mom, so time was not something I had a lot of.
And so, and just like you, like I had to really be mindful so that I didn't feel overwhelmed
and I get, I can relate to that feeling of just, there's so sometimes it's so much, there's
so many people to talk to and you're just like, how do I navigate this?
And so things that I did is I limited how often I got on.
I sometimes would not even get on, on a day.
So I might pick like three or four days out of the week where I'm like, okay, I'm going
to spend 30 minutes in the morning to maybe get on.
And then I'm going to spend maybe an hour right before bed or something like that and
get on.
Then if I was having conversations with people, I would not typically have more than two or
three people that I was having conversations with.
Because if I had like a long list of like 10 people to talk to, that gets overwhelming.
And what can happen is you forget who you're talking to and what you know about them, what
you learned about them.
And you're like, wait, is this the person that has two kids and lives in this area?
Or is, or is this the person that works for this pharmaceutical rat?
Like you start forgetting like who is who.
So if you limit how many people you talk to, if you're talking to two or three people,
and then you don't entertain any new people in that while you're spending time talking
to two or three people, and then when one or two of those two or three people might
fall off, then you pick up another one, you replace it.
And then, again, if guys are wanting to initiate a date, and then they don't follow through,
I say give them an opportunity.
Don't be afraid to reach out and say, hey, what are your thoughts about meeting on this
day and this day?
So if guys are setting up and saying, hey, I want to get to know you, I want to go out
on a date.
What is your response to them?
I mean, I'm always open to that.
And a lot of times it is like, yeah, we talk about a day
and we figure that out.
But then they kind of stop.
And it's like they don't get to sit in the place and time.
So I would encourage you to then throw out
some ideas and some places to go and some times to go.
I always like to use this rule of giving two options.
Find two options that work for you.
So if you're like, OK, hey, are you free Saturday?
Yeah, I'm free Saturday.
Awesome.
We should get together.
OK, cool.
Do you see how sometimes guys are like,
is she really wanting to go on a date or not?
So just be like, hey, on Saturday, I have,
I can meet at 12 o'clock or I can meet at 3 o'clock.
Would either of those times work for you?
And then if they give you like, yeah, 3 o'clock
sounds great, perfect.
So I really love this public park.
That's really, really cool.
We could always take a walk there.
Or there's this arcade that is really fun
and has like, let's say, axe throwing that I thought
would be really cool to try out one time.
So we can either go for this walk
or would you want to go to this arcade
and do some axe throwing at 3 o'clock?
Which one do you think sounds more fun for you?
And then they give you a response.
Awesome.
So 3 o'clock at the arcade.
And then do you have ways of communicating?
Like maybe give them a Google Voice number or awesome.
Just reach back out to me right before to confirm.
And then go from there.
Sometimes the guys need a little extra push
because sometimes guys have been rejected in the past
and they don't know how serious women are.
We never know.
So it's OK, ladies, to drop the hanky.
It's OK to offer and give ideas for a first date.
Jackie says this often.
Do not be afraid to help plan a date.
Don't be afraid to do that.
I have to help plan my, like I have still
helped my husband plan dates.
And a lot of times he's like, he'll
say it's because I'm very indecisive.
So he's like, I don't know where you want to go.
You've got to tell me where you want to go.
So I would encourage that.
The only thing that we say is after that first date,
you want the guy to initiate the second date.
But it doesn't mean that we can't offer up ideas.
We want the guy on the second or third and the third date
to say, hey, I really had fun.
Let's go do this.
But you also have to make sure you ladies are communicating,
I'm interested in a second or third date with you.
I would really like to get that on the calendar.
Let me know what days work for you.
And then let them initiate it.
Let them show that they are interested in meeting you
again.
Does that help kind of give you some tips and tools
to navigate the overwhelming feeling of online dating?
And guys saying they want to hang out but not,
then they don't really follow through.
Try that and let's see if you get some different responses.
Sound good?
Yeah, that sounds good.
Thank you.
Awesome.
OK.
Ashley, you are in Dallas.
You're in the same area that I live.
Hi.
OK, I'll give you a second.
We're coming up on time here.
So Caitlin and Stephanie, I'm going to make the space for you.
I know we're getting late.
Ladies, if you have to jump off, feel free.
You can jump off.
This one will be in replay.
I do want to try to wrap this up in the next 10 minutes.
So let's make sure that we're short, brief, and powerful.
And I will do the same thing, OK?
All right, Ashley, you ready?
So I feel like my question kind of probably
has already been answered.
But I also want to make sure I'm showing up for myself
instead of just, oh, it's fine, it's fine.
It has been very helpful hearing about online dating
because, so I'm 37.
I've never really, I've dated here and there,
not really anything serious, never anything longer
than a few dates.
And so all of this feels like, I'm like, I'm 37.
It shouldn't be intimidating, but it is.
I was that age, too, when I was joining the program.
And it can be.
I get it.
Well, and I'm in ministry.
And so the small talk doesn't feel in the grand,
like out and about, and the world
doesn't feel all that big of a deal.
But the one-on-one kind of feels.
I don't like it. I'm on an app and I don't like it. I don't like the feeling of it. It
feels super oogie and like slimy to me.
Where does that come from? What brings that?
Just the thought of or the feeling of judging people based on what they put on the profile,
because not only are you doing that to them, but they're in reverse or doing it to you.
I realize not every person out there is going to think I'm amazing. It's not like I
think that or think that they're judging me on my looks or anything like that, but it just feels
like, I don't know.
I can see that, but I think, again, what are we aligning with on this belief that we're judging people?
I mean, you can be judging people when you're walking on the street and you're getting to
know people. You're going to have responses. There's going to be thoughts that when
you're seeing people on the street or on an app that you're going to draw some assumptions to.
I mean, a few weeks ago, and some of you ladies might remember this.
Ashley, you just came in phase two, right? I've been in maybe a week or two, but
life's been busy. Life's been crazy, so I'm not quite.
No, that's fine. I'm just asking because a few weeks ago, I activated you ladies.
When you are interacting with people, everybody, everybody that you come across,
I wanted you ladies to start find anybody, whether it was a man, woman, child, young,
old, whatever, anybody that you had interactions with, I wanted you to find something attractive
about them. Not like a physical attraction, but what things did you see in somebody that drew you
to be like, wow, I want to know more about them, or I really like this about them.
I'm so attracted to that because we do that. When I did this activation, I was a teacher
and I've taught little kids. When I would do this, I would recognize the tender hearted
heartness of some of these children, or the joy that they'd have, the excitement,
the wanting to care for their other classmates. I'm like, wow, what beautiful characteristics
about somebody. I would encourage you to spend some time and process through what about
getting to know someone, especially when you meet people, whether it's online or in person,
do you tend to find things about them that you're like, wow, I really think that's really awesome
about them? Because it's the same thing. We got to work on what are we believing about judgment?
Where does that come from? Because I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing unless we
really are being overly critical. Sometimes what that can look like is if we don't have a strong
sense of our own identity, and if we don't think highly of ourselves, then it could possibly feel
negative. I would spend some time processing through like, why am I feeling that online
dating is icky and yucky because it's judgment? I would even encourage you when you're
looking at that stuff, try to find gold. What characteristics and qualities are you attracted
to? Do you like that? You want to get to know a person, whether it's online or not.
How do you feel about that? Yeah, that's, I understand that. I'll think about it. I think
one of the other things is like in the past, in the very, very few relationships or not even
relationships, interactions I've had in that sense, I've always been the one to try and make
it happen and overdo it. I guess I'm kind of leery of doing that again because I don't,
I want to be the found wife. I want to be the pursued person. I know I'm worthy of that.
Um, so that probably comes from some ministry stuff of, that I need to process of making
some time and just, again, like this is, this is when you start dating, it's, it's about
pacing.
It's about the process.
It really is.
I mean, again, like you're going to have to reciprocate things, but again, like come into
community, share with us what interactions you're seeing.
And as that, as you spend more time in this phase and you're interacting and you're sharing
with us, like what you're experiencing on dates or what's surfacing and coming up, we're
going to be able to help you process and work through that.
And so you'll start seeing like, okay, like here's something that happened and this is
my old self wants to do this, but this is like, we're going to help you navigate that
is what I'm saying.
Does that help?
Like the, again, you're, you're in this, you've been in this phase for a week and a half,
so it's, you don't have to rush through it.
Like it's a process, you know, you're going to spend time, you're going to learn each
week, you're going to learn more information and it's just going to start unlocking so
much.
So don't feel like you have to have all the answers to all the dating stuff right away.
I think a lot of the ladies that are even on this call right now, we'll, we'll, we'll
testify to that.
Like it really is walking through the process and it's going to be trying some new things,
doing things a little differently.
You're going to have certain feelings about things.
And again, we say, feel the fields to heal the fields, you know, heartwork never stops.
All right.
We're, even though we're out of phase one, we're out of the heartwork phase, heartwork
still continues.
Heartwork continues in dating, heartwork continues in relationship and ladies heartwork continues
in marriage.
Let me tell you, like I still have to walk through my own heartwork even in my marriage
because things are coming up.
I get certain feelings and emotions and you know, that's just part of, that's part of
the process.
So I want you to be encouraged in that, Ashley, if you are not already, like if you're on
Facebook, make sure you look up single city for Dallas.
We have a Dallas join that our Dallas single city group, they do a lot of get togethers.
And so this goes for all of you ladies, like look at the single cities in your area.
We have some that, you know, have a lot of members and things are going.
And then we have a few that there's just a few small, but we're, we're, we're really
trying to get people to start planning events and activities so that you all can start getting
in community with one another.
So again, Dallas has, there's at least one event, like every month that I'm getting notifications
for.
Do you just go search it?
Single city Dallas?
Yeah.
Put single city Dallas and you'll see, actually there's a link in the resource tab ladies
of your app, go to that resource tab and you're going to see all of the single cities that
we have offered.
And there's going to be a code that when you try to join the single city, it's going to
ask you for that code.
You need to type that code in so that our moderators and team that manage the single
cities are going to see that because we don't let people in to those single cities unless
they're part of our program.
And they're not, if we, if they don't have the code, that means they're not part of the
program.
If you're in the program, you're going to have the code because we give you access to
that in the resource tab.
Okay.
So definitely check that out.
That goes for all of you ladies.
Okay.
So if you're in the Dallas Fort Worth area or even the Austin area, and I think there's
maybe even one in Houston or San Antonio, we got, there's some single cities.
Okay.
We've got Florida, North Carolina, California, like Los Angeles has one, New York city.
I mean, we got one, I think even in Indianapolis just started.
I mean, there's a lot.
Okay.
So just definitely link in there.
Okay.
All right.
And Stephanie, Caitlin, I'm going to go with you.
Hi.
So, so first of all, last week we talked about kind of like talking back to the devil essentially
with some lies.
And so I feel like I've been practicing that the last week and it's been, it's been helpful
to just like, and I feel attacked with like lies of identity stuff, but I feel like that's
just an ongoing thing for me, for all of us.
Yeah.
So, okay.
So the question I have, it may actually be a little bit more heart work related, but
when I'm date, so I'm in a season where I quit my job last year and I'm work, I'm building
a business slowly.
I teach music lessons and.
right now I just feel like I'm not like I I feel insecure about my lack of like
like I don't have like a nine-to-five and I'm not like making a bunch of money
and I'm having this like I'm wondering I but I still like I want to be dating I
want to like meet my person and I feel like when I'm looking for a partner I I
kind of want to find a guy who seems really like stable like financially and
stuff yeah but I'm not really in that place 100% and I wonder if that's okay
like if like kind of that's a masculine feminine thing and that's okay or if
it's like you attract what you are okay yeah so that whole like what you believe
you become you become you attract yeah yeah okay so I can relate to this
because I as well like I was a single mom I was financially secure but there
were times that I felt like when guys learned that and I had an I had an
education degree like I had a bachelor's degree I was a very intelligent person I
used to be a school teacher I left that because it was a job I left with school
teaching yeah and and you know what like it's hard it is that job like oh my
goodness yeah teaching is such a difficult profession and unless someone's
in it and and it's experience it like no one really truly understands like I mean
I even have to sit and explain to my husband now that our kids are in a
school system he like gets all bent out of shape and I'm like these teachers
have a lot on their plate and so that's where I was at I had left my teaching
job and my job was waiting tables like when I was in this program I was waiting
tables and I I oftentimes again it was an identity thing that I felt like I
was not worthy because I didn't have a certain job or I found that I was really
in my head that men I wouldn't recognize when men put on their profiles
when they were like saying like what are they looking for in a wife they're
looking for a successful woman yeah that word and that successful woman used to
really offend me and bother me and obviously being in this program like
Jackie teaches us if we have offense to something it's a heart issue in our
self and so I had to spend time with the Lord about that like why am I so
offended with someone saying that they want a successful woman because I mean I
would get super super like combative with it like I am successful I'm a
successful mother I'm a successful friend I'm a successful daughter I have
amazing relationships with people I am successful and like all these things and
so I would get really upset because I felt like I was being judged for my
success but I was projecting that on some of these men when really they
weren't looking at it like that and so that was something it was it was a
heartwork thing that I had to really go through and process like well why am I
upset about that is my husband gonna see me as a successful person absolutely
like I had that conversation with my husband I said you know yeah sometimes I
think when men find out that you know I would just wait tables they stopped
talking to me that happened and instead of looking at it as rejection I started
looking at it as like you know what I'm so God defended and God's protecting me
from people not not being able to see the real gold inside me that's not a me
thing I don't need to pick up that and so it's learning and it's processing
through like I am valuable I have gold I am successful I don't have to be here
here here in order to be worthy of a husband and so it's more or less just
being like my husband like my husband saw me and was like you are very bright
you are intelligent enough that he trusted me to homeschool his two
children and then we did it and it didn't work and he didn't judge me for
it I mean y'all that first year of marriage and then we're blending a
family and then I was homeschooling three kids let me tell you there was a
lot of offense like
like offended, you know, blended rhymes with offended. Right. And
so my husband and I, we had to sit down and really talk about
that. But not once I ever feel like my, my husband was like,
you're a failure. You couldn't homeschool the kids. No, he's
like, no, God has something else for you. And so I was doing
this, like I was teaching and coaching while I was also
homeschooling. And once I could get my kids to school, like, I
really was able to really flourish in this with with you
all. And so it's really about looking at the gold in you.
Yeah. And that you don't like God's not gonna say, Oh, I'm
sorry, your husband's not coming because you're not successful.
And you don't have a certain number in your bank account.
Y'all do you realize that God doesn't really care about how
much money is in your bank account?
He really doesn't. He doesn't. That's not where the value is.
That's not where the worth is that none of that comes. We
can't take that to heaven with us. Our value doesn't come from
how many zeros we have in our bank account. Right? Yeah. And
your husband will see that. Yeah, totally. Like, maybe a
shallow question that like, is it okay to like, desire to find
a partner who makes?
No, I mean, I don't I think is if you're holding and you're
literally not dating people because they don't have a
success. Like, again, like, I would question that. But, I
mean, we're not looking for, oh, someone has like, a stable job.
And, and, and I'm not going to date someone that doesn't have a
stable job, you're looking more for potential. Are they do they
have the three M's? Are they masculine, marriage minded, and
mature? Someone who has maturity and masculinity that is just
going to be in their nature. Okay, my husband, obviously,
when we first got married, he had a very successful job, like
he worked for a corporation, made really good money. It's why
he could homeschool his kids. It's why I could get married and
not have to go into working and I didn't have to work anymore
and all that. Well, a few months after we got married, there was
a shift. And God was pulling him away from his corporate job to
step out on his own. And so our financial situation was not the
same. And so you know, ladies that when you get in a marriage,
that security can change in finances. So like, we don't
always want to hold tight to that because you never know
what's going to happen. And so it's more or less to do they
have potential. Like I've seen my husband really, like have to
rise to the occasion occasion. Because he does take seriously
providing for me and our kids. You know, and growing in that
and stepping into you know, what God wants to do in his life in
our life, and in starting a business and him going out on
his own like, you're looking at the potential. Okay, and that's
why I say like, you ladies, you might find some men and some
really like tough financial situations. And it's not about
them being like, maybe they're in a lot of debt, but it's not
about the fact that they have debt. What are they doing to get
themselves out of it? Are you seeing them work at that? It's
about that process? Like, are they being careless still? Or
are they rising to the occasion? Now again, ladies, when you're
in early levels, the early level two of dating, you're not going
to know their financial status, you shouldn't know their
financial status, okay, that they shouldn't know your
financial status that early on, okay. But as you start getting
to know somebody, and you're growing in relationship, and
maybe you're pushing forward to a more serious level two, and
then you get into a level three committed relationship, some of
that stuff might start surfacing. And that's fine. But
you know, what potential do you see in them? Are they motivated?
Are they goal oriented? Do they have dreams and aspirations?
Like, what are their dreams? And what are they doing to
accomplish those dreams? Those are the questions that you want
to ask? Hey, like, what's something that you're really
passionate about? You know, do you have any dreams or
aspirations? What's that look like? Awesome. Like, you want to
be able
Travel the world like what kinds of things are you doing now to put yourself in a position to be able to do that?
Like those are good questions as you're getting to know people
Yeah, that's really good
Does that help this is really good? I have to run off to a class right now
That's good because i'm going way over time and jackie's gonna beat me for it
Because i'm really always supposed to be keeping these at 75 minutes and I definitely have gone way over
But I think we've got a lot of good stuff that we've uncovered
So you're good. Thank you. Caitlin. All right, stephanie. I'm, so glad you were able to come back on. No, no
No, ask ask your question
I'm gonna whisper because my son is here
Okay
So there's this guy that i'm talking to online, um through the app right for some times he so
I this I met him before
On the app before I started this class and then so I took a break when I went back
He was the only one that remained in my box
So I was I I joined the hanky did all of that
And I told him I say we'd like to get to know each other but he said yes
But then he would respond to like three days after
And then but it is the conversation is like something like two days after you will respond to you
So like I asked him yesterday. Hey
Do you want to spend time? Um on zoom, you know get like, you know, because he didn't want to give out his number. He's very
Private about that, right? So that's what I wanted to yeah, okay
okay, so
Don't hold him to the fact that he hasn't responded after two or three days because ladies
Some of the ladies in here when they're on the apps
um
Like what I was even telling stacy earlier like
Maybe you're only getting on the app on monday wednesday friday
Okay, so maybe he's having to manage that as well. Um
I understand about him not wanting to get the number. Okay
If he's not open to the video date and he's not pulling the trigger on that
I'd say just move on
You know drop it out there drop the hanky let him initiate that
um
And then if he's not picking it up
Just move forward like you want we want reciprocation
Okay
Are you all matching the reciprocation if he's reaching out you're responding back if he's responding reaching out you're responding back
And there's a back and forth if you're saying hey, let's meet. Let's do this zoom call you like
Throw out some days and times
if he's
Dodges it
Okay, maybe throw it up one more time and if he keeps dodging it just be like hey
I really you know enjoy trying to get to know you I I can see that maybe
You're not interested in the video date. So unfortunately i'm gonna have to go ahead and just part ways
I wish you the best of luck
I mean, it's totally okay. Stephanie. Were you the one that said that guys are trying to get you on whatsapp real quick?
Well, not whatsapp of numbers i've been i've been just blocking them because i'm so nervous
i'm, so nervous about the
My son is right. Sorry. I'm so nervous about girl. My I don't know how old your son is but
He's like he's okay, but I was gonna say like
Okay, sorry. Okay. It's okay. Like I have
My kids are 15 13 and 9
15 13 and 9 and they know oh, I haven't spoken to him. I don't I don't know how to have that conversation
So maybe this is the perfect opportunity after the call. You can have a healthy conversation. I'm just talking to some friends
I love it. I love it. It's ladies. I will tell you this
Like this is gold like this is this program is going it's a legacy
Like when we get healthy and healed in relationships and we start doing we're passing that on to our children
like I truly believe that my kids are going to benefit from this program because I
Did the work and I went through it and now I get to be a part of it as a coach
And I mean, I can't I mean I have kids are my my kids are 15 and 13 and they are learning
How to have healthy relationship at school
Like it's a legacy
It's kingdom y'all
But
Let's talk about this
Let's get you a get get sign up with a google voice number so that you don't have to feel so nervous
Okay, I do. I do have one for my company, but I don't know
Because that's the thing that's that because I work with children
so I i'm like where because I you know, because I haven't the same experience like I think the lady with the
I think christina
I'm having those type of conversations,
I just block them.
But I love what you said to make it only three people
because it was overwhelming
to try to track who you're talking to.
Yeah.
Go half an hour and then do an hour.
So I said, okay, I'm on a particular schedule,
so I don't have to do it.
But I don't know if I can open another Google number
because I have one that's associated to my business already.
Yeah.
So I'm not sure, but I'll see.
Yeah, I'm gonna make a note to do some research myself.
I've never did the Google voice number.
My husband has one for his business too.
And so I'll ask him to help me out with that
and say, hey, how do we navigate this
and see what he can find too,
because I think it will be good.
So then that way you're giving out your Google number.
Right.
And that way you can gauge it that way.
Again, use Zoom for video calls.
But they would have to, for the Zoom,
the press would have to give their email address
because my Zoom is also, again, linked to a child,
a children, because I brought a children's business.
Can you set up a separate, like on a different email
and not your work email?
Can you set up a different email?
Like just go and grab a, just a generic email.
Well, I was thinking, what I was thinking to do
was the Zoom have a free app one,
was a lot of mine.
And they use a free one
because I think you get like about 40 minutes or so.
40 minutes.
Yes, I could do that.
And then, because as I said, everything I do,
and I work in a lot of school systems.
I don't want person to like-
No, I-
Coming up and you're banned from school for life.
Yeah, no.
And I don't want you to put yourself in a situation.
Yeah, especially when you're working with children.
Absolutely.
That's what I'm saying.
Get yourself a free like Zoom account.
Like one of the free ones, like you said, the 40 minutes.
And that way it helps you limit
like how long you're staying on a video call.
Right.
You're just literally getting to know them
and let them know like, hey, this is like,
if you set up a free account,
I set up a free account, like we're getting 40 minutes
and we can have conversation through video
and get to know each other.
And then again, like with the exception
of it's long distance,
like you're not gonna be able
to get the in-person date right away
if you're talking to somebody long distance.
But if they're, you know, an hour
or maybe even like an hour and a half away from you
or local, then you're gonna wanna jump
into an in-person date.
Okay.
And so let's get into that.
But again, yeah, two to three people at a time
that you can talk to.
So it doesn't get overwhelming.
And that way you can kind of keep track of who's who.
And so then when one falls off, you pick up another one.
Yeah.
And again, after like, if y'all cannot,
like if guys are not wanting to get a video date
or an in-person date within the first like week,
no more than two weeks, like move, move on.
You're here to date in real life.
You're not here to have pen pals.
Like, and here's the thing is some people
will use online dating as a dopamine hit.
They want likes, they want attention.
And then once they get that, that's like, okay,
I need new attention over here.
Like that happens too.
And so we're not, that's not what we're looking for.
And you'll notice like, if you spend time like investing
and really getting to know somebody
and trying to get those video calls or in-person dates
within the first week or two,
like you're gonna see who's there for the real.
Okay.
And you don't have to be, you know,
bent out of shape just because it's not working
with these guys.
Nope, just on to the next one.
You're just one step closer to your spirit mate.
Let's just knock it out, right?
That's part of online dating.
And I know that's not the fun part of it, but you know,
we have to be willing to just kind of navigate what it is.
We don't have to get bent out of shape about it.
We can just say, okay, God,
I'm gonna release this pen to you.
You're gonna reveal things that I need to be revealed to.
You know, whatever you wanna do, Lord,
to prepare my heart for what you have coming for me,
I'm gonna be open to it.
Every one of these situations and dating scenarios
or whatever, it's all opportunities to grow and prepare.
Okay.
All right, ladies.
I'm gonna quickly kind of just see what I missed
in the chat.
Was there anybody else that had something in the chat
that I might've missed?
Go ahead and unmute and let me know.
Okay, I don't think she's still on.
Okay.
Okay, so someone's saying that Google number,
it gives you address.
Is there a way that you can not put your address on Google?
Google Voice?
I don't, I definitely,
I wonder if that's like an option that you can remove.
I can't.
It doesn't give you option.
Unless, it doesn't give you option to put your address.
I mean, it does, but it doesn't list your address.
address um because when my number i just you all you to do is i put it because i'm in new york
i put a number the 917 so that if anybody calls it they will know it's a new york by the error code
okay that's what i was gonna say i think my husband's is like an 888 number an 866 number
because again he just he just he calls all different states because he's in insurance
and so he sells insurance to all like he's yeah so i don't think it's going to show your address
it might show like if you live in like you said like you live in new york but it's not going to
give you a detailed address i like my husband would never allow that because he is very very
protective the only thing is the only thing is that if you miss the call you can't if you call
back it comes from your personal number so that's the only that's why i'm like a little
hesitant with the goo wait so if you miss someone calling you and you try to call them back my my
my 646 number shows up okay if you miss that unless it's set up a different way i set up
mine a long time like a seven years ago but for mine if you call back that's why so when
most of them ask me for my number i just i just don't say anything when you call them
from your google voice number but it shows up as your google voice number no it doesn't it
shows up my six because i doubt i use my cell phone that's where it's linked to so it's linked
to they have to call you on your google number on my google number okay so i would have to set up a
specific time and say this is the time and they would have to and i would have to answer but if
i miss that call i can go inside my gmail and even text them but okay so you can text on your
google voice no it will come from my email it will say my email address okay i think that's
and that's why i'm saying like don't use your work email address use like a just generic like free
like gmail account okay so that's good to know all right well i see a lot of people
hopping off so i'm hoping that i got to everybody's question and whatnot um perfect perfect
i love it and then people are engaging in this this is awesome oh i love it i love it oh lauren
wanted to know how i meet my husband um i oftentimes share that so um i'm not going to
share it right now but i will share it in the future um okay i think i got most of this
um susanna she's not even on here anymore um perfect um okay perfect
um okay awesome all right ladies um again i apologize for going late i'm going to work
at doing better i'm sure jackie's gonna get on me
um tell her it's me we appreciate the extra time okay good i'm glad i just i just yeah my my heart
is always to make sure that i get your questions answered i just like to unpack it all with y'all
on live calls um but again that's what we also have the app for so we'll do our best to also
even respond to you there as always but all right ladies have a blessed rest of your day don't
forget to make eye contact smile with guys engage in you know just small talk ask them for help
engage in you know just small talk ask them for help and we'll um spend time going over that next
week and all right ladies stay connected and i will chat with y'all later sounds good thanks