WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.960 So, there's something in us, all of us have it, 2 00:00:03.960 --> 00:00:06.580 that is built on our childhood, 3 00:00:06.580 --> 00:00:07.880 it's built on our background, 4 00:00:07.880 --> 00:00:11.400 and we just keep doing these dumb things. 5 00:00:11.400 --> 00:00:13.960 And so, embracing hard means that you're gonna 6 00:00:13.960 --> 00:00:17.000 do the hard work, building a new you. 7 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:17.840 Totally. 8 00:00:17.840 --> 00:00:19.640 Because if you don't build a new you, 9 00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:23.160 then the enemy's gonna build the old you 10 00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:26.040 really deeply, really fast. 11 00:00:30.880 --> 00:00:32.560 Hey, welcome to the Steve Holt Podcast. 12 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:35.000 I'm Ryan Steyer, Executive Pastor of The Road. 13 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.240 I'm here with Pastor Steve Holt, 14 00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:39.040 Senior Pastor and Founder of The Road, 15 00:00:39.040 --> 00:00:41.000 and we're here talking about the book, 16 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:44.080 Breakthrough Courage, Steve's book that he wrote, 17 00:00:44.080 --> 00:00:46.760 and the nine habits to conquer fear 18 00:00:46.760 --> 00:00:47.840 and build a brave heart. 19 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:49.160 And today, we're gonna be discussing 20 00:00:49.160 --> 00:00:51.720 habit number two, embrace hard. 21 00:00:51.720 --> 00:00:52.880 Aren't you excited about this? 22 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:54.480 Oh, it's great, and I think it hits it. 23 00:00:54.480 --> 00:00:55.520 You just put it out there, 24 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:56.360 and I think it hits it. 25 00:00:56.360 --> 00:00:57.200 Yeah, it's great. 26 00:00:57.920 --> 00:00:59.560 Oh, it's great, and I think it hits it. 27 00:00:59.560 --> 00:01:01.000 You just preached on it. 28 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:01.840 I did. 29 00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:03.520 So, I thought you were perfect for that, 30 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:06.560 because over the last five years, 31 00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:10.080 you've had so much to embrace, 32 00:01:10.080 --> 00:01:13.360 that's hard in so many different areas. 33 00:01:13.360 --> 00:01:15.800 And so have I, but I mean, I wrote the book, 34 00:01:15.800 --> 00:01:17.560 so people, they hear mine, 35 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:19.720 but cool to hear it from you, 36 00:01:19.720 --> 00:01:23.040 and I've got Andy, one of our other staff, 37 00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:26.720 he's gonna speak on it to our wholehearted men 38 00:01:27.240 --> 00:01:29.840 on Tuesday morning from his perspective. 39 00:01:29.840 --> 00:01:30.680 Absolutely. 40 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:33.600 And his is a very, very devastating perspective 41 00:01:33.600 --> 00:01:35.040 of what he's been through. 42 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:37.480 Yeah, you know, interesting title 43 00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:39.880 in that hard things happen to us 44 00:01:39.880 --> 00:01:42.360 that we either create or by their very nature 45 00:01:42.360 --> 00:01:44.160 are just organic and happen to us 46 00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:47.080 by the way life comes at us. 47 00:01:47.080 --> 00:01:48.680 Totally. 48 00:01:48.680 --> 00:01:53.320 I like creating hard on a fairly regular basis 49 00:01:53.360 --> 00:01:56.880 by not thinking through what I say and what I do. 50 00:01:56.880 --> 00:01:57.720 Absolutely. 51 00:01:57.720 --> 00:01:58.560 Right? 52 00:01:58.560 --> 00:01:59.400 Yeah. 53 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:00.240 No, it does. 54 00:02:00.240 --> 00:02:01.080 All of you do that all the time, 55 00:02:01.080 --> 00:02:02.080 and if you don't think you do, 56 00:02:02.080 --> 00:02:03.880 then you're just a big liar, 57 00:02:03.880 --> 00:02:05.280 because you do. 58 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.760 And I think about it all the time, 59 00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:10.880 like, okay, do I really wanna say this? 60 00:02:10.880 --> 00:02:14.160 And then I say to myself, don't say this. 61 00:02:14.160 --> 00:02:15.680 And then I say it. 62 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:17.800 And then I go, what an idiot. 63 00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:19.520 So I'm always struggling, you know, 64 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:23.040 with like creating, I like the way you said that. 65 00:02:23.720 --> 00:02:25.200 It's like we create our own hard. 66 00:02:25.200 --> 00:02:26.040 Yeah. 67 00:02:26.040 --> 00:02:27.480 Way more than we need to. 68 00:02:27.480 --> 00:02:30.360 Probably there's a little bit of this mindset 69 00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:32.960 that we have where we live in denial 70 00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:35.880 that we are the creators of our own chaos oftentimes. 71 00:02:35.880 --> 00:02:36.720 Right? 72 00:02:36.720 --> 00:02:41.080 And then we say that we're like kingdom of God people 73 00:02:41.080 --> 00:02:44.080 that are bringing order to chaos. 74 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:46.680 And then we come into a situation where there's order 75 00:02:46.680 --> 00:02:47.800 and we create chaos. 76 00:02:47.800 --> 00:02:48.840 We create chaos. 77 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:51.440 In our marriage, in our family, in our job. 78 00:02:51.440 --> 00:02:53.520 So embracing hard. 79 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:54.360 Yeah. 80 00:02:54.360 --> 00:02:55.920 It's like constant. 81 00:02:55.920 --> 00:02:56.760 Yeah. 82 00:02:56.760 --> 00:02:58.880 Well, your first illustration in the habit number two 83 00:02:58.880 --> 00:03:02.160 is with Jersey Gregorak, the weightlifter 84 00:03:02.160 --> 00:03:03.760 and just his backstory. 85 00:03:03.760 --> 00:03:05.680 And you set the chapter up beautifully. 86 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:07.960 And the quote that you enter with is where he says, 87 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:11.480 easy choices, hard life, hard choices, easy life. 88 00:03:11.480 --> 00:03:13.840 It captures, well, really what it does, 89 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:17.680 I think it brings us to the fork in the road. 90 00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:19.600 We've both shared, you've said it where you grew up. 91 00:03:19.600 --> 00:03:22.400 It's a slogan of, are you a two knock, one knock 92 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:23.920 or three knock guy? 93 00:03:23.920 --> 00:03:26.920 And the reality is, okay, at some point, 94 00:03:26.920 --> 00:03:30.120 the fruit of my decisions are still equaling 95 00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:31.520 the sum of nothing. 96 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:32.360 Yeah. 97 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:34.080 So I've got to start making different choices, 98 00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:34.920 different habits. 99 00:03:34.920 --> 00:03:36.920 And some of those decisions are going to be hard. 100 00:03:36.920 --> 00:03:37.760 Yeah. 101 00:03:37.760 --> 00:03:39.520 Because you've built up negative habits. 102 00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:42.520 You've built up habits that are self-destructive. 103 00:03:42.520 --> 00:03:45.920 To begin to reorient our thinking every day 104 00:03:45.920 --> 00:03:50.160 that I'm going to embrace these bad habits, 105 00:03:50.160 --> 00:03:54.120 embrace these bad choices that I continually make. 106 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:57.120 Part of that is going to be what I talk about actually 107 00:03:57.120 --> 00:03:59.520 in the next chapter with Blood, Stained Allies 108 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:03.320 and in the next chapter, which is facing shame. 109 00:04:03.320 --> 00:04:07.200 So there's something in us, all of us have it 110 00:04:07.200 --> 00:04:09.880 that is built on our childhood. 111 00:04:09.880 --> 00:04:11.200 It's built on our background 112 00:04:11.200 --> 00:04:14.680 and we just keep doing these dumb things. 113 00:04:14.680 --> 00:04:16.800 And so embracing hard means 114 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:20.360 that you're going to do the hard work building a new you. 115 00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:21.200 Totally. 116 00:04:21.200 --> 00:04:23.000 Because if you don't build a new you, 117 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:28.000 then the enemy's going to build the old you really deeply. 118 00:04:28.520 --> 00:04:29.360 Really fast. 119 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:30.400 It's interesting. 120 00:04:30.400 --> 00:04:33.400 And I love how you said that the family of origin, 121 00:04:33.400 --> 00:04:37.000 all of us have one and we come out with that playbook. 122 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:37.840 Yeah. 123 00:04:37.840 --> 00:04:39.800 And rightly, wrongly or otherwise, 124 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:41.840 some people get a better playbook than others. 125 00:04:41.840 --> 00:04:43.840 Some people are just born into the hard 126 00:04:43.840 --> 00:04:45.560 and then we have to pick up from there. 127 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:47.760 And so stepping out of that, 128 00:04:47.760 --> 00:04:49.760 I think that's really where we embrace the hard 129 00:04:49.760 --> 00:04:51.680 because the familiar is easy, right? 130 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:53.840 And so the hard thing is to, 131 00:04:53.840 --> 00:04:54.680 what you're saying here, 132 00:04:54.680 --> 00:04:56.800 we're talking about the study on neuroplasticity, 133 00:04:56.800 --> 00:04:59.160 some great stuff from Shawna Core in the book, 134 00:04:59.160 --> 00:05:00.200 really where we have. 135 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.800 of the ability God has given us in our own system 136 00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:06.080 to rewire and rework our brains. 137 00:05:06.080 --> 00:05:06.920 But that's hard, man. 138 00:05:06.920 --> 00:05:10.240 I mean, like, I'm thinking about my decision-making 139 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:11.920 up to a certain point in my life 140 00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:13.860 was all based from the narrative and filters 141 00:05:13.860 --> 00:05:15.720 of the family of origins that was surrounding me. 142 00:05:15.720 --> 00:05:16.640 For sure. 143 00:05:16.640 --> 00:05:21.480 I think that some of us come out of Mayberry RFD, you know? 144 00:05:21.480 --> 00:05:23.200 Some of us come out of Gotham. 145 00:05:23.200 --> 00:05:28.240 So we, you know, if you got a little bit more Mayberry RFD 146 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:30.280 than Gotham, then you've probably got 147 00:05:30.280 --> 00:05:33.200 maybe some foundations that are better. 148 00:05:33.200 --> 00:05:35.600 And then others of us come out of, you know, 149 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:38.280 we were gang, our parents seemed like 150 00:05:38.280 --> 00:05:40.480 they were gang leaders in Gotham. 151 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:42.320 So you might've gone through a divorce. 152 00:05:42.320 --> 00:05:44.200 You might've gone through, you know, 153 00:05:44.200 --> 00:05:48.520 parents who had extramarital affairs or whatever it is, 154 00:05:48.520 --> 00:05:49.880 maybe even mental illness. 155 00:05:49.880 --> 00:05:52.240 I hear that a lot, where people come out 156 00:05:52.240 --> 00:05:54.080 of bipolar parents or something. 157 00:05:54.080 --> 00:05:55.480 That's tough. 158 00:05:55.480 --> 00:06:00.480 Because their familiar is very unhealthy, very unhealthy. 159 00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:05.800 And some of us have a familiar that's healthier than others. 160 00:06:06.200 --> 00:06:10.700 But either way, when we come into the kingdom of God 161 00:06:10.700 --> 00:06:12.760 and God comes to invade our life 162 00:06:12.760 --> 00:06:16.080 and his spirit comes and moves in our soul 163 00:06:16.080 --> 00:06:19.240 and in our spirit, we begin to be transformed and changed. 164 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:21.800 And now we have this new identity 165 00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:24.220 as sons and daughters of God. 166 00:06:24.220 --> 00:06:28.540 We still face this familiar hard 167 00:06:28.540 --> 00:06:31.140 that's been self-destructive. 168 00:06:31.140 --> 00:06:34.140 And we begin this new life of renewing our mind. 169 00:06:34.140 --> 00:06:35.300 Yeah, and that's huge. 170 00:06:35.300 --> 00:06:37.980 And so just that, even that mental kingdom discipline 171 00:06:37.980 --> 00:06:41.000 of renewing your mind, in thinking about that, 172 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:44.260 it was interesting for me when I was reading this chapter 173 00:06:44.260 --> 00:06:47.060 and I was reminded of a study I had come across 174 00:06:47.060 --> 00:06:49.700 from the National Institute of Health and Science 175 00:06:49.700 --> 00:06:52.500 related to kind of the natural default 176 00:06:52.500 --> 00:06:53.820 of our mental system. 177 00:06:54.340 --> 00:06:57.980 And that is one that we're going to seek pleasure first, 178 00:06:57.980 --> 00:07:00.900 preserve energy and avoid pain. 179 00:07:00.900 --> 00:07:02.500 And that's just, that's like our, 180 00:07:02.500 --> 00:07:03.900 that's our default setting, right? 181 00:07:03.900 --> 00:07:04.720 That's right. 182 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:06.340 So then to step into these things. 183 00:07:06.340 --> 00:07:07.180 Is painful. 184 00:07:07.180 --> 00:07:08.020 Oh man, yeah. 185 00:07:08.020 --> 00:07:08.860 Difficult. 186 00:07:08.860 --> 00:07:09.680 Difficult. 187 00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:10.520 Unfamiliar. 188 00:07:10.520 --> 00:07:11.360 Yes. 189 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:12.180 It's hard, man. 190 00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:14.500 So it's like, I remember as a kid, 191 00:07:14.500 --> 00:07:17.300 how hard it was for me, probably wasn't for you 192 00:07:17.300 --> 00:07:18.580 because you were a collegiate swimmer, 193 00:07:18.580 --> 00:07:20.940 but it's hard for me to learn how to swim. 194 00:07:21.780 --> 00:07:26.220 That was like one of my first obstacles 195 00:07:26.220 --> 00:07:29.260 that I remember that it seemed like was easier 196 00:07:29.260 --> 00:07:31.220 for everybody else except for me. 197 00:07:31.220 --> 00:07:32.060 That's interesting. 198 00:07:32.060 --> 00:07:33.140 So it's funny because I was playing, 199 00:07:33.140 --> 00:07:35.860 I was playing sports, some other sports and everything, 200 00:07:35.860 --> 00:07:40.860 but in swimming, I just, I couldn't get that natural, 201 00:07:41.940 --> 00:07:43.540 you know, stroke and everything. 202 00:07:45.020 --> 00:07:47.140 I think it'd be interesting, 203 00:07:47.140 --> 00:07:49.040 since dad's still alive, I should ask him, 204 00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:51.800 but I think it might've been like eight years old, 205 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:53.500 which is kind of late for kids. 206 00:07:53.500 --> 00:07:56.480 A lot of kids are, some are swimming like at three. 207 00:07:56.480 --> 00:07:57.320 Throwing them in the water. 208 00:07:57.320 --> 00:07:59.520 But it was a long time for me. 209 00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:04.160 And finally, I dove into this deep end of a pool 210 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:08.560 and dad moved away from me to make me come to him 211 00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:10.240 and so I dog paddled. 212 00:08:10.240 --> 00:08:14.040 And that was just so exciting to finally get it. 213 00:08:14.040 --> 00:08:16.720 And I think that's sometimes what habits 214 00:08:16.760 --> 00:08:20.400 with embracing hard can be like, 215 00:08:20.400 --> 00:08:22.720 is you keep embracing it 216 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:24.480 and you just don't see any progress. 217 00:08:24.480 --> 00:08:26.120 You don't see it working. 218 00:08:26.120 --> 00:08:29.000 And so you sink again. 219 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:30.600 And then there's some point, 220 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:35.240 maybe it's even just you become so scared, 221 00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:38.559 so fearful of where your life is going 222 00:08:38.559 --> 00:08:42.480 if you don't embrace the hard and then you do. 223 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:43.760 For me, it was like drowning. 224 00:08:43.760 --> 00:08:45.120 Now dad was gonna catch me, 225 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.520 but I remember that feeling like, 226 00:08:46.520 --> 00:08:47.920 whoa, dad's not here. 227 00:08:47.920 --> 00:08:50.960 And then he kept moving away and I kept going, 228 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:53.080 dad, I'm swimming. 229 00:08:53.080 --> 00:08:54.720 And we were so excited. 230 00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:57.000 It's interesting the analogy that you're saying. 231 00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:58.080 And even as you're talking, 232 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:00.560 I remember my father working through that. 233 00:09:00.560 --> 00:09:02.800 I remember he would come home from work 234 00:09:02.800 --> 00:09:04.040 and I lived around the corner. 235 00:09:04.040 --> 00:09:05.080 My grandparents had the pool 236 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:06.320 that we could always use and access. 237 00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:08.320 In the summertime, we'd go out there and we'd have fun 238 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:10.240 and he'd throw me in 239 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:12.200 and then have me kind of like dog paddle to the edge. 240 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:14.880 But I remember every moment 241 00:09:14.880 --> 00:09:16.760 and every time it got a little bit easier 242 00:09:16.760 --> 00:09:18.440 in those initial trials, 243 00:09:18.440 --> 00:09:19.840 it was like full of fear. 244 00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:21.880 The training wheels had been removed 245 00:09:21.880 --> 00:09:23.560 and I'm in a foreign land. 246 00:09:23.560 --> 00:09:25.720 I mean, I'm built to be on the land 247 00:09:25.720 --> 00:09:28.200 and now I'm in a different environment altogether 248 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:29.040 in the water. 249 00:09:29.040 --> 00:09:30.760 And it's something that we had to learn 250 00:09:30.760 --> 00:09:31.720 and press through. 251 00:09:31.720 --> 00:09:34.280 We're not amphibians by nature. 252 00:09:34.280 --> 00:09:36.680 And I was thinking about even the correlation 253 00:09:36.680 --> 00:09:39.560 of those physical things that we go through 254 00:09:39.560 --> 00:09:41.200 to develop a deeper skillset, 255 00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:42.640 to encounter and embrace the hard, 256 00:09:42.640 --> 00:09:44.920 how that impacts our spiritual walk, 257 00:09:44.920 --> 00:09:46.080 the faith that's needed. 258 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:48.120 Because I'm pressing into, 259 00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:50.360 okay, I know that if I don't make the wall 260 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:51.800 or I can't reach my dad, 261 00:09:51.800 --> 00:09:53.560 ultimately, being the father, 262 00:09:53.560 --> 00:09:55.640 he's gonna come in and give me the rescue. 263 00:09:55.640 --> 00:09:56.840 But trusting that moment. 264 00:09:56.840 --> 00:09:58.840 But he's gonna let me struggle for a minute, right? 265 00:09:58.840 --> 00:09:59.680 Do you remember writing, 266 00:09:59.680 --> 00:10:00.520 do you remember? 267 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.720 or learning to ride a bike. Do you remember that? 268 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:07.720 I do actually. Yeah. And that was fear there too. It was like, stay with me, 269 00:10:07.880 --> 00:10:11.360 hold, hold on. And then the next thing, you know, in my mind, 270 00:10:11.680 --> 00:10:15.360 memory recall of that is, you know, dad, I don't know how it was for you, 271 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:17.280 but dad's holding the back of the seat. You don't see him. 272 00:10:17.320 --> 00:10:20.280 You're focusing forward and you're just trusting he's there. 273 00:10:20.560 --> 00:10:23.640 The next thing I know we go through that a couple of times and I think he's 274 00:10:23.640 --> 00:10:26.120 still holding the back of the bike, but I'm doing it on my own. 275 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:29.120 And somewhere in the process, his hand has left, you know, the stable, 276 00:10:29.320 --> 00:10:30.760 destabilize me. Right. 277 00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:35.640 I remember that so vividly being in the 278 00:10:35.640 --> 00:10:38.200 grass and Huntsville, Alabama, 279 00:10:38.760 --> 00:10:43.200 and dad being behind me and kind of, I think he kind of pushed me. 280 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:47.840 If I recall, and there were these dogwood trees nearby, I can still see it. 281 00:10:48.160 --> 00:10:51.440 And then I would just remember that I was, 282 00:10:51.560 --> 00:10:56.160 I was pedaling and he was way back. And I was like, Oh, I just, 283 00:10:56.560 --> 00:11:01.800 I just did that. I was so happy. Oh man. I was just that, you know, 284 00:11:01.800 --> 00:11:06.240 I think those things are important in our development and I think we need to 285 00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:08.000 keep, we need to keep those, 286 00:11:08.400 --> 00:11:12.840 those memories of victory in 287 00:11:12.840 --> 00:11:15.360 embracing hard because you can, 288 00:11:15.400 --> 00:11:20.000 you can embrace hard and get through it and start having new 289 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:24.960 muscle memory and new muscle memory of re of reacting to hard things 290 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:28.840 with much more of a unbreakable, uh, 291 00:11:28.840 --> 00:11:33.720 in a breakthrough and unshakable challenged viewpoint of courage. 292 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:37.840 This starts to get birthed in you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those like, 293 00:11:38.120 --> 00:11:42.720 those early foundational discoveries of 294 00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:46.760 confidence for us. And I don't know where you were at in your pack of friends. 295 00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:49.360 I wasn't the first of my friends to be on the bike. 296 00:11:49.400 --> 00:11:51.920 I had some other buddies who had started to ride a little bit earlier and you 297 00:11:51.920 --> 00:11:53.600 kind of start to measure yourself and you're like, well, 298 00:11:53.600 --> 00:11:56.000 I want to keep up with those guys. I need some wheels. You know, 299 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:57.720 I'm not going to keep up as fast on foot. 300 00:11:58.200 --> 00:12:02.880 And then there's that natural desire that builds in us to try and now risk 301 00:12:03.160 --> 00:12:05.960 something that seems, okay, I need to learn this, 302 00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:10.880 but how foundational those early confidence building steps are that probably 303 00:12:10.880 --> 00:12:14.760 play a huge role in us now as adults, stepping into the hard, 304 00:12:14.760 --> 00:12:18.680 stepping into the unknown, taking the risk. And so it's so wild. Um, 305 00:12:18.680 --> 00:12:23.240 the things that we discover build on and then give us that foundation of courage 306 00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:26.160 that we're absolutely going to draw on our whole lives. Right. Yeah. 307 00:12:26.880 --> 00:12:31.520 And I think there's this mentality in our nation. 308 00:12:31.640 --> 00:12:36.560 I actually think it's worse in our nation than other nations because they have it 309 00:12:36.560 --> 00:12:37.880 so much harder than we do, 310 00:12:38.280 --> 00:12:43.000 but we have it so easy these days that there are kids 311 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:46.720 growing up today that never experienced hard. 312 00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:51.560 They're so their helicopter parents just so protect them of anything. 313 00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:54.640 And I think it's so good for a kid to, 314 00:12:55.040 --> 00:12:59.480 to skin his knee and to go through a breakup, you know, 315 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:02.440 with a girlfriend or whatever, and, and just experience those, 316 00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:06.280 those hard things because, um, that's building, 317 00:13:06.560 --> 00:13:10.200 that's building a spirit that can build. Now, sometimes it doesn't, 318 00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:11.960 it builds bitterness, 319 00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:17.240 but if we can learn to embrace it more than I think it builds a 320 00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:22.000 spiritual sinew of muscle memory in our brain, 321 00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:24.200 that begins to set us free actually. 322 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.040 So true. Um, and I know you're familiar with the quote, 323 00:13:28.760 --> 00:13:32.080 there's something that said, and I'm not going to maybe quote it perfectly, 324 00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:37.880 but the value and how much we grow and learn from our losses or failures 325 00:13:37.920 --> 00:13:40.960 than we do from the big wins in our lives. Right. 326 00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:44.600 So there's something about our ability to go back, 327 00:13:44.600 --> 00:13:46.680 pull from the failure, 328 00:13:46.680 --> 00:13:50.640 the loss that just intrinsically gives us more strength, more power, 329 00:13:50.640 --> 00:13:53.440 more courage to grow, move forward. Yeah. 330 00:13:53.520 --> 00:13:57.600 Then the times where we had the big windfall or it was a huge success, you know, 331 00:13:57.760 --> 00:14:01.320 the perfect score and a Jimmy where you were absolutely accurate and perfect, 332 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:04.040 or, you know, I hit the Mark and, you know, 333 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:07.600 had a good race versus I got smoked by that guy. 334 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:09.440 I didn't see him coming in the pool. Right. 335 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:13.520 Or you didn't perform to the level that you anticipated the things that we take 336 00:14:13.560 --> 00:14:18.520 into our, um, processing and we leverage into growth from that place. 337 00:14:19.160 --> 00:14:20.600 So I think so. 338 00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:25.600 And I think that the reason I, in my study felt like breakthrough courage, 339 00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:29.960 one of the habits had to be embraced hard was I just saw it everywhere. 340 00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:35.040 Everybody that has some element of success, 341 00:14:35.400 --> 00:14:37.320 some effectiveness in their life, 342 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:41.200 some victories had a lot of failures in the process. 343 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:46.240 And it seems like the failures were actually the setups for the victories that 344 00:14:46.640 --> 00:14:47.480 would come later. 345 00:14:47.480 --> 00:14:51.120 Huge. And I love the order of it because, you know, it's like, 346 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:55.160 let's get first things first. Are you a kingdom of God? Are you a Jesus disciple? 347 00:14:55.160 --> 00:14:56.880 Are you going to follow him? Let's make that decision. 348 00:14:56.880 --> 00:14:59.480 And then now number two out of the gates, we're saying, well, 349 00:14:59.520 --> 00:15:00.320 even from 350 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:04.800 Christ himself, we're hearing that the hardcore truth about life is that it's gonna be hard. 351 00:15:04.800 --> 00:15:11.300 That it doesn't change from maybe the hardships we're gonna face, but then we tap into a deeper 352 00:15:11.300 --> 00:15:14.600 strength and an ability to overcome because we now are Christ followers. 353 00:15:14.600 --> 00:15:17.880 It doesn't make us immune, right, to the hard things. 354 00:15:17.880 --> 00:15:20.640 And so just the order of the layout of the habits in the book. 355 00:15:20.640 --> 00:15:22.480 But Jesus seems to say that. 356 00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:23.480 Right. 357 00:15:23.480 --> 00:15:26.400 Like right there, up front, you wanna be my disciple? 358 00:15:26.400 --> 00:15:28.920 Take up your cross and follow me. 359 00:15:28.920 --> 00:15:34.080 So Jesus is saying this is like habit two for you guys. 360 00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:39.640 You know, if you're not gonna be taking up your cross, which was the most heinous form 361 00:15:39.640 --> 00:15:43.680 of torture in ancient times, they knew exactly what he meant. 362 00:15:43.680 --> 00:15:47.820 And this is pre him going to the cross for our sins. 363 00:15:47.820 --> 00:15:48.820 But they understand. 364 00:15:48.820 --> 00:15:50.760 They've seen crucifixions before. 365 00:15:50.760 --> 00:15:53.160 He says, take up your crucifixion. 366 00:15:53.160 --> 00:15:55.640 Take up your cross and follow me. 367 00:15:55.640 --> 00:16:00.800 He was not painting some kind of easy life. 368 00:16:00.800 --> 00:16:03.920 He was painting actually a very, very difficult life. 369 00:16:03.920 --> 00:16:09.360 And those men, those early disciples, they knew what they were getting themselves into. 370 00:16:09.360 --> 00:16:14.720 Yeah, I've loved the order of him even laying that out. 371 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:19.780 I mean, we have the benefit of knowing how the whole story ends and comes to fruition. 372 00:16:19.780 --> 00:16:22.240 But in that moment, right, he hasn't even faced Calvary yet. 373 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:25.880 But he's given in this illustration of, yeah, this is gonna be a challenge. 374 00:16:25.880 --> 00:16:29.200 And probably so many people that got disappointed thought they were gonna follow him into the 375 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:30.200 palace. 376 00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.840 He was gonna take his throne and it was gonna be an appointment, you know, in the royal 377 00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:36.100 family of some of some position. 378 00:16:36.100 --> 00:16:41.220 But the people that were following him closely were like, this is gonna be an enduring hardship, 379 00:16:41.220 --> 00:16:43.720 but there's so much life to be found in the journey. 380 00:16:43.720 --> 00:16:44.720 Yeah. 381 00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:45.720 So, yeah. 382 00:16:45.720 --> 00:16:56.760 So, if you look at even, okay, so Christ is crucified, he's risen, he's made himself manifest 383 00:16:56.760 --> 00:16:59.960 physically for 40 days. 384 00:16:59.960 --> 00:17:05.400 Acts 1 begins, you got Acts 1 and he's making his final comments about the coming of the 385 00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:06.400 Holy Spirit. 386 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:10.440 And he's talking about, he says he spoke of the things of the kingdom of God. 387 00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:18.720 And then even then they said, you know, Israel is going to take over. 388 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:24.359 They even try to turn it into a political thing there in Acts chapter 1. 389 00:17:24.359 --> 00:17:28.040 And then he says, you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. 390 00:17:28.040 --> 00:17:31.520 So, they still don't completely get it. 391 00:17:31.520 --> 00:17:32.520 Yeah. 392 00:17:32.520 --> 00:17:39.640 I think they still think that the reward is gonna precede any kind of suffering. 393 00:17:39.640 --> 00:17:44.080 Even after all the things that he said, and they're soon going to find out that that's 394 00:17:44.080 --> 00:17:49.160 why they need power from the Holy Spirit is because it's getting, it's going to get really, 395 00:17:49.160 --> 00:17:50.160 really hard. 396 00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:53.160 So, Peter preaches 3,000 get saved. 397 00:17:53.160 --> 00:17:57.840 He's filled with the Holy Spirit, 3,000 get saved, but immediately they're arrested for 398 00:17:57.840 --> 00:18:01.320 a healing like the next day or the next week or something. 399 00:18:01.320 --> 00:18:08.120 The chronological order is not clear, but it's just one persecution situation after 400 00:18:08.120 --> 00:18:09.120 another. 401 00:18:09.600 --> 00:18:12.640 And I think that's part of the Christian life. 402 00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:18.960 That is a part of breakthrough courage is to just realize that there's going to be a 403 00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:22.400 lot of suffering on the way to victory. 404 00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:26.960 There's going to be some getting nailed to the cross in your life before you're going 405 00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:28.800 to see a resurrection. 406 00:18:28.800 --> 00:18:34.840 So sometimes the tomb, I like what I heard a guy one time say that the tomb is the womb 407 00:18:34.840 --> 00:18:36.600 of the resurrection. 408 00:18:36.600 --> 00:18:42.520 So you got to get in the tomb, which becomes the womb in you of the resurrection that God 409 00:18:42.520 --> 00:18:43.520 wants to bring. 410 00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:46.560 And that's what we're calling here breakthrough courage. 411 00:18:46.560 --> 00:18:48.640 Absolutely. 412 00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:52.720 You know, as you're talking about it and you're describing it, and then, and then the next 413 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:57.400 habit we're going to talk about kind of companions for the journey, how we start to build on 414 00:18:57.400 --> 00:19:03.580 this foundation to achieve breakthrough courage and live from a brave heart. 415 00:19:03.580 --> 00:19:07.780 But some of what you're saying, and even how Jesus is picking those 12 disciples, at 416 00:19:07.780 --> 00:19:11.260 least initially, he's looking for grit, right? 417 00:19:11.260 --> 00:19:13.340 And there's a beautiful quote in here. 418 00:19:13.340 --> 00:19:15.460 I was just trying to... 419 00:19:15.460 --> 00:19:16.460 That's a great one. 420 00:19:16.460 --> 00:19:17.460 Yeah. 421 00:19:17.460 --> 00:19:18.460 Yeah. 422 00:19:18.460 --> 00:19:19.460 Her quote is so good. 423 00:19:19.460 --> 00:19:20.460 She's working with those inner city kids. 424 00:19:20.460 --> 00:19:21.460 Yeah. 425 00:19:21.460 --> 00:19:22.460 From Boston. 426 00:19:22.460 --> 00:19:27.440 And like, they're thinking, okay, what's, why do certain kids make it? 427 00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:29.100 Other inner city kids don't. 428 00:19:29.100 --> 00:19:30.260 That's right. 429 00:19:30.260 --> 00:19:32.540 And it's not IQ. 430 00:19:32.540 --> 00:19:35.020 It's this factor called grit. 431 00:19:35.020 --> 00:19:36.740 Angela Lee Duckworth. 432 00:19:36.740 --> 00:19:39.600 One characteristic emerges, the best predictor of success. 433 00:19:39.600 --> 00:19:41.180 It wasn't social intelligence. 434 00:19:41.180 --> 00:19:45.180 It wasn't good looks, physical health, and it wasn't IQ. 435 00:19:45.180 --> 00:19:46.660 It was grit. 436 00:19:46.660 --> 00:19:49.660 And she says grit is having stamina. 437 00:19:49.660 --> 00:19:58.020 You know, I think about, oh my gosh, I'm going to space it right now on the guy along obedience 438 00:19:58.020 --> 00:19:59.020 in the same direction. 439 00:19:59.020 --> 00:20:00.020 Yeah. 440 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.680 Eugene Peterson, thank you. 441 00:20:01.680 --> 00:20:04.680 Just that idea of, at least as a youth, 442 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:05.760 I don't know how you would say this. 443 00:20:05.760 --> 00:20:08.120 I mean, there's a certain point or shift in life 444 00:20:08.120 --> 00:20:10.160 where I'm like realizing, okay, this walk, 445 00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.280 this journey is gonna be a marathon. 446 00:20:12.280 --> 00:20:13.680 And that takes grit. 447 00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:17.480 How would you say, I love what she says about grit 448 00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:19.040 and the equation to stamina. 449 00:20:19.040 --> 00:20:20.340 How would you define grit? 450 00:20:21.280 --> 00:20:22.400 That's a great question. 451 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:23.800 Why didn't you tell me ahead of time? 452 00:20:23.800 --> 00:20:25.920 You're gonna ask me that question. 453 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:30.560 I think grit is this mindset of 454 00:20:31.840 --> 00:20:34.060 I'm expecting it to be hard. 455 00:20:34.060 --> 00:20:35.460 I expect hard. 456 00:20:35.460 --> 00:20:37.180 I don't expect easy. 457 00:20:37.180 --> 00:20:39.040 I expect hard. 458 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:44.040 And so I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for hard. 459 00:20:46.040 --> 00:20:49.400 And then it comes and it's not a shock. 460 00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:51.920 It's not overly surprising. 461 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:55.640 And then you press through it without complaining. 462 00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:57.400 You just kind of keep doing it. 463 00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:02.400 And so I think it's a mindset that a kid has 464 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:05.520 or a leader has that they just already know 465 00:21:05.520 --> 00:21:07.000 it's gonna be hard. 466 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:10.240 So it's not like, oh, I can't believe it's hard. 467 00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:13.360 And they're all mad at God or they're mad at people. 468 00:21:13.360 --> 00:21:17.160 Blamers, people who blame don't have grit. 469 00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:18.720 They're anemic of grit. 470 00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:19.920 That's right. 471 00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:23.560 And you see a lot of blaming people around. 472 00:21:23.560 --> 00:21:28.000 That's someone who is either going to decide 473 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:30.900 at some point, I'm gonna take full responsibility 474 00:21:30.900 --> 00:21:32.600 for my life. 475 00:21:32.600 --> 00:21:34.560 Or it's someone who's just gonna continue 476 00:21:34.560 --> 00:21:38.320 to be in the cesspool of mediocrity. 477 00:21:38.320 --> 00:21:41.480 Man, I love that because when we think about the culture, 478 00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:44.520 at least in the United States and what we face today. 479 00:21:44.520 --> 00:21:45.520 Victim mentality. 480 00:21:45.520 --> 00:21:47.600 Victim mentality and entitlement. 481 00:21:47.600 --> 00:21:48.440 Oh yeah. 482 00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:50.600 And this ease, I want convenience. 483 00:21:50.600 --> 00:21:51.440 Come on. 484 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:53.760 If we wrap up this cultural narrative 485 00:21:53.760 --> 00:21:58.040 that we all have access to and can embrace, 486 00:21:58.040 --> 00:22:00.260 then even more challenging the concept of embracing hard 487 00:22:00.260 --> 00:22:01.560 because we have to forego. 488 00:22:01.560 --> 00:22:03.360 We have to say, listen, I'm gonna have to own 489 00:22:03.360 --> 00:22:05.760 my side of the street on this. 490 00:22:05.760 --> 00:22:06.640 It's interesting growing up, 491 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:07.720 and I know you probably had friends, 492 00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:09.160 and I would say you're absolutely this way, 493 00:22:09.160 --> 00:22:12.640 is that you just can see grit inside of people. 494 00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:14.220 For whatever reason, they've just reconciled 495 00:22:14.220 --> 00:22:17.560 within themselves that the goal, the prize, 496 00:22:17.560 --> 00:22:19.040 the thing I wanna strive for, 497 00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:23.480 my desires inside myself are the driving force 498 00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:26.000 that kind of create this grittiness in us. 499 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:26.840 I think so. 500 00:22:26.840 --> 00:22:27.660 Yeah. 501 00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:28.500 That's really good. 502 00:22:28.500 --> 00:22:30.960 And you can tell after you've been around a person 503 00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:33.800 for a little while if they're kind of, 504 00:22:33.800 --> 00:22:37.800 I mean, it's an overused word, but they're kind of wimpy. 505 00:22:37.800 --> 00:22:40.940 They're just kind of, it's like they get toppled over 506 00:22:40.940 --> 00:22:42.040 so easy. 507 00:22:42.040 --> 00:22:42.880 Yeah. 508 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:44.400 I feel sorry for them, you know? 509 00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:46.680 And then there's other people that just have 510 00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:51.680 this ramrod, steel, spiritual, emotional spine 511 00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:55.480 that can take it, and they may get knocked back 512 00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:58.480 a little bit, but they've got something in them 513 00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.960 that just keeps showing up. 514 00:22:59.960 --> 00:23:04.200 So I don't, I really agree with Duckworth 515 00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:09.200 that it really isn't EQ or IQ. 516 00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:13.680 It's really this resilience that's been built 517 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:16.120 into them that says, I'm not gonna quit. 518 00:23:16.520 --> 00:23:17.400 I'm not gonna quit. 519 00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:18.240 Yeah. 520 00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:20.480 I would say, would you say grit is, 521 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:22.440 it's gotta be one of the core DNA. 522 00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:25.760 If you were lining out like aspects of leadership, 523 00:23:25.760 --> 00:23:27.520 the great leaders that we've looked to, 524 00:23:27.520 --> 00:23:30.960 even the great heroes of the movies that draw us in, 525 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:33.240 you see that manifested, you see them model that. 526 00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:37.200 I'm thinking of, you know, I don't know why, 527 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:38.600 I cannot remember. 528 00:23:38.600 --> 00:23:43.600 Braveheart, or Gladiator, or even, 529 00:23:43.800 --> 00:23:48.480 I always, I think boxing is such a interesting metaphor 530 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:50.360 for us because you just get pummeled. 531 00:23:50.360 --> 00:23:51.200 Yeah. 532 00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:52.360 You know, MMA's like that too. 533 00:23:52.360 --> 00:23:53.520 You see some of these guys. 534 00:23:53.520 --> 00:23:55.360 I was looking, I was watching a match. 535 00:23:55.360 --> 00:23:56.200 Oh, I know what it was. 536 00:23:56.200 --> 00:24:00.760 I was looking at, there was like a montage 537 00:24:00.760 --> 00:24:05.760 of the 2024 comebacks in MMA. 538 00:24:06.520 --> 00:24:10.120 So to just look at these guys that have just gotten, 539 00:24:10.120 --> 00:24:12.280 I mean, they're behind in the score. 540 00:24:12.280 --> 00:24:13.400 They've just been getting pummeled. 541 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.280 They've maybe been knocked down several times. 542 00:24:15.280 --> 00:24:17.720 They pull up something within, 543 00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:20.600 and they go into that final round, 544 00:24:20.600 --> 00:24:23.920 and they knock the guy out, or they win, you know? 545 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:26.480 And I think life is like that a lot, 546 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:31.480 that people with grit probably have been hammered 547 00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:34.480 a lot of times, but they just won't quit. 548 00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:35.960 They keep getting back up. 549 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:39.040 I'm thinking of Churchill, Lincoln. 550 00:24:39.040 --> 00:24:39.880 Absolutely. 551 00:24:39.880 --> 00:24:40.720 Those guys would have all modeled that. 552 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:42.360 Absolutely, lots of losses in their life. 553 00:24:42.360 --> 00:24:43.200 Lots of losses. 554 00:24:43.640 --> 00:24:45.320 In some cases, very personal losses. 555 00:24:45.320 --> 00:24:46.160 Absolutely. 556 00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:48.760 Struggles, but they just have this never die, 557 00:24:48.760 --> 00:24:50.440 never quit thing in them. 558 00:24:50.440 --> 00:24:51.520 That's so good. 559 00:24:51.520 --> 00:24:55.560 Well, I was gonna ask, in the end of habit number two, 560 00:24:55.560 --> 00:24:58.160 you outlined kind of five tips, 561 00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.040 how we can kind of model this. 562 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:08.000 kind of pivot from or pivot really into embracing the heart in our lives and just kind of want to 563 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:13.440 touch points and see it's all really great and practical. I love this because coming right out 564 00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:18.960 of the gates you know we're talking about let's not compare ourselves and then in that you have 565 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:23.920 this challenge to challenge yourself like I'm going to compete with myself I'm not I'm done 566 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:30.480 comparing myself to others to what's on social media to what culture says I should be should 567 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:36.240 look like should talk like etc yeah so habit number one right just quit comparing yourself 568 00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:43.440 right it's the it's what Brene Brown calls the swamp land of the soul yes that so good 569 00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:50.080 comparison is just it's a killer because nobody's I mean if you even look at some of the most 570 00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:58.240 handsome some of the most beautiful people on the planet you know movie stars and models and 571 00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:03.280 everything and then you see and hear these interviews with them they're so messed up 572 00:26:04.080 --> 00:26:09.280 I mean dude they're like so messed up yeah they're they're like constantly saying well 573 00:26:09.280 --> 00:26:14.800 I don't look like her I don't look like him or I wish I could have landed that contract that so 574 00:26:15.520 --> 00:26:20.800 they're in this comparison game and so it's just it's a swamp land of the soul 575 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:26.880 it kills you man it just it kills it and so all of us struggle with that but you got to get over 576 00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:37.520 yourself and start realizing that my character and who I am inside is more important than where I land 577 00:26:37.520 --> 00:26:42.000 in the pecking order of everybody else yeah and it's really freeing I know it's for me it's been 578 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:48.720 really freeing to not think that way yeah but more look at okay looking at Christ looking at me 579 00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:55.680 how am I doing and realizing I fall short but it's it's me working on my character and who I am yeah 580 00:26:56.320 --> 00:27:01.600 and again I feel like of the tips that are going to follow just like the book does even tip number 581 00:27:01.600 --> 00:27:06.880 one in this and barely in the ability to embrace hard is you're now renewing your mind reframing 582 00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:13.040 your mind with that I can't accomplish what I need to do for God's kingdom when I'm comparing 583 00:27:13.040 --> 00:27:18.480 myself and I've said that comparison is the death of identity that's right and which leads us into 584 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:24.560 number two and that is we're unique right each one of us has a unique assignment from God right 585 00:27:24.560 --> 00:27:30.880 in this world to accomplish yeah and I think that's so important because when you quit comparing and 586 00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:38.400 you start looking at the uniqueness of your life and the way God crafted you and it's another 587 00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:45.920 it's another breakthrough courage moment because then you can begin to be the best 588 00:27:46.480 --> 00:27:51.440 that God's created you to be absolutely yeah I think that's that's true I think for me 589 00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:57.680 renewing my mind to say that you know me being unique the way that God sees me 590 00:27:58.480 --> 00:28:03.840 it's very empowering revelation when I can just connect and attach to that truth 591 00:28:03.840 --> 00:28:08.320 I am unique right and so I have something special that nobody else has an assignment to do that's 592 00:28:08.320 --> 00:28:11.200 right in this world that's right the way that we're going to parent differently or I'm going 593 00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:16.560 to speak something into my kids that only I can give them that's right yes I love that and then 594 00:28:16.560 --> 00:28:22.560 from that stepping into have like tip number three where we're talking about being hardwired 595 00:28:22.560 --> 00:28:29.760 God built us to be wired to embrace hard and I'm thinking when I read that I was taught I was 596 00:28:29.760 --> 00:28:34.400 brought back to the place and you would absolutely probably able to relate to this too coaches that 597 00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:38.720 have called out things in us where we were at we thought we were at a limit but we had somebody 598 00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:43.840 else in our lives that could see us the ability something greater something deeper and they would 599 00:28:43.840 --> 00:28:49.360 call that out in us and we pressed through and we faced hard and we reached new limits yeah new 600 00:28:49.360 --> 00:28:55.120 levels right yeah yeah so that's what's so great about team sports oh huge team sports are so good 601 00:28:55.120 --> 00:29:00.080 in that regard because you're you're not just playing for yourself but you're playing for the 602 00:29:00.080 --> 00:29:05.200 whole team and everybody's working hard and I think that can be such an encouragement to you 603 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:15.680 because we are driven to to win for the team yeah and we don't serve a God that you know is a couch 604 00:29:15.680 --> 00:29:20.240 potato kind of God kind of just up there just wants it cozy and easy and just us bring everything 605 00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:26.800 into the storehouse but no he modeled that in the flesh and really modeled what hardwired looked like 606 00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:33.120 and how he embraced that's good I think so yeah amen to that that's such a good good thing for 607 00:29:33.120 --> 00:29:40.000 me to pull from and be encouraged in the hard parts of life yeah um tip number four kind of this 608 00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:45.840 idea of focus in a new direction where we get distracted in culture that pulls us off looking 609 00:29:45.840 --> 00:29:51.760 up looking to the cross being encouraged that way um you know one of the challenges that I've tried 610 00:29:51.760 --> 00:29:57.040 to fast encourage my family from let's fast from the things that are pulling our distraction where 611 00:29:57.040 --> 00:29:59.760 we're looking down or around mostly from our phones 612 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:24.000 Yeah, and really that can pull energy. I think it stifles our focus for sure. And here it's now it's like, let's refocus. Where's our azimuth? Maybe share what in this maybe immediate season for you, where you've had to renew your mind in an area of focus. And I have an I have an answer for you if you didn't, but I know there was just something that you had accomplished. 613 00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:54.000 Something for me. Well, I saw you saw with me. I did. I saw you do something where you readjusted. It was a pretty quick. Well, you know, you're on this trip with your family over the holidays and you're thinking, well, at a pit stop, a gas station, you start throwing down some pushups and then you're like, I'm going to change your focus here. And you step pretty quickly into that. Yeah. So I thought that was awesome, man. Yeah, I was tired, man. I've been driving for like 10 hours. And so 614 00:30:54.000 --> 00:31:20.000 my future son in law's in there. And so I said, you know, it's cold. It was really cold and windy. Where were we at? I think we were in Missouri or Tennessee somewhere. I was just like, I was smoked. And he was going to take over. OK, so I knew he had been asleep. Oh, because we were sharing that driving. And so you're tired. He goes, yeah, a little bit. I said, man, man, I'm so tired. So let's just go do some pushups. 615 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:27.000 So we went over there, did some pushups on the side of the road, and we both kind of got ourself refocused. So it was good. 616 00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:38.000 Super good. Yeah. And then from that, right, that spawned this idea. Well, you know what? I mean, I did this after driving all day. Why not take on the world record? I love it, man. I love it. 617 00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:45.000 Yeah. Maybe I can do that. You know, conjure up the 21-year-old that's still within me. 618 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:59.000 No, I think it's great. And I think the Holy Spirit uses those moments where we're willing to work through us to, again, continue to build that confidence for the things that he has for us to face in this immediate season. 619 00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:18.000 So I think for my own life, it's staying flexible, staying open to the sensitivity of the Holy Spirit to say, you know, where is my alignment? And even that first check-in about not comparing myself, those questions, you know, am I telling the truth? Am I a truth seeker? You know, am I a guy that I would want to follow? 620 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:32.000 Can I be flexible enough to align my compass back to true north, back to kingdom north in my own life and take my own medicine, essentially? So I love that. And then tip five, kind of closing it out. And this, I think this is the optimism. 621 00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:44.000 This is the point where we leverage and pivot to say that our failures can be the next rung in the ladder of success that we're climbing to God's purpose in our lives. And that is setbacks are setups for comebacks. 622 00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:55.000 Yeah. Yep. That's it. The big choice you have to make. It's easier said than done. And it's easier said after you've done it than when you're in it. 623 00:32:56.000 --> 00:33:10.000 Cause we're just, we're going to go through layoffs. We're going to go through injuries. We're going to go through broken relationships. We're going to go through our hopes being dashed of something. 624 00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:30.000 And so I hope by putting that in there, it's a reminder to someone to remember that little, little Maxim that setbacks are setups for comebacks because you don't think that when you're in it, you just think, oh, yeah, my whole world's falling apart. 625 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:42.000 And you got to quickly pivot out of that and go, okay, what, okay, what can I learn from this? What's God up to? And it even might be because of something that you did that set it up. 626 00:33:42.000 --> 00:34:09.000 I'm going to come back. I'm not going to quit. I'm not going to leave. I'm going to come back. And that's different than most people want to think. 627 00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:26.000 What I would say, at least being a part of and being a part of the journey where, you know, maybe your biggest setback and being able to watch you model, take posture, step back from the battlefield, reorient yourself and say, where am I going to pivot from here? 628 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:42.000 Because clearly there's still energy. There's still desire. I've got work for the kingdom of God to do. And what does that look like? And being patient and then watching God lead you, you respond in obedience to a road less traveled. That was awesome, man. 629 00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:52.000 What a privilege to be a part of and witness you walk in so much humility and obedience in God, then deliver this next season. 630 00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:58.000 But Ryan, that wouldn't have happened without the next habit, you know, blessed and allies. 631 00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:59.000 There it is. 632 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.240 I did. Habit one was seek the first thing first, which is a kingdom. 633 00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:04.560 Yep. 634 00:35:04.680 --> 00:35:06.120 Second, embrace hard. 635 00:35:06.160 --> 00:35:06.440 Yeah. 636 00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:16.280 Because when you're embracing hard, you start to see your own incapacity or lack of power. 637 00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:16.760 Yeah. 638 00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:28.240 To do this individually, to do this in the silo of being a solo sort of person that you actually do need a team. 639 00:35:28.680 --> 00:35:31.080 There's a corporateness to this Christian walk. 640 00:35:31.160 --> 00:35:31.840 Absolutely. 641 00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:39.040 And so that's why the next habit, habit three, is develop blessed and allies. 642 00:35:39.120 --> 00:35:39.720 Absolutely. 643 00:35:40.360 --> 00:35:44.120 We want to whet your appetite a little bit with kind of what's coming up in habit three. 644 00:35:44.640 --> 00:35:53.040 And as we close out habit two with embracing hard, probably just encouragement from me and Pastor Steve. 645 00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:58.360 And that would be just that whatever you're facing right now, whatever you're in the middle of, you're not alone. 646 00:35:58.600 --> 00:35:59.840 There's a purpose for it. 647 00:36:00.120 --> 00:36:09.880 And if you're willing to be obedient, be patient, God's going to pivot or allow you to pivot from that and go another rung up on the ladder of success and purpose that he has for your life. 648 00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:10.240 Yeah. 649 00:36:10.560 --> 00:36:10.840 Yeah. 650 00:36:11.160 --> 00:36:13.240 Final thoughts on embracing hard from you, brother? 651 00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:23.280 I think that, again, I'm just fired up about the importance of embracing hard corporately with others. 652 00:36:23.600 --> 00:36:26.120 So I'm excited about habit three. 653 00:36:26.440 --> 00:36:26.840 Amen. 654 00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:38.600 Well, if you haven't, you can find a link in the description below to pick up your own copy of Breakthrough Courage, Nine Habits to Conquering Fear and Building a Brave Heart in Your Life. 655 00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:39.480 God bless you. 656 00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:40.200 Thanks for tuning in. 657 00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:41.840 We'll see you in the next episode. 658 00:36:43.240 --> 00:36:43.560 Bye.