All right, well, welcome to those ladies that are here with us live here on March 25th.
This is phase two.
This is our phase two part check in.
All right.
So, it's so good to be here.
For those of you that do not know me, I'm Carla Johnson.
I'm one of your coaches here at Last Year Single.
I walked through this program myself.
I came to find Jackie in 2020 when she launched the community.
I spent a few years single in her community, and my spirit mate did finally show up, finally.
I've now been married a little over a year and a half.
I've been in this program since the beginning.
I've been on all sides of it.
I've had the privilege and honor and blessing to be able to coach a lot of the women here
in the community over the last year.
So, I really, really enjoy being able to pour back into you ladies.
It's just a testimony of what this program is all about and what it can do.
It's just been such an honor, like I said.
I've seen a lot of beautiful, amazing love stories, myself included.
So, like I said, always good to be here.
So, curious, how many of you are brand new to Phase 2?
May, I don't see a picture or your video.
I don't know if I recognize your name.
So, forgive me if this isn't your first time.
Luisa, is this your first time on the 1 o'clock call?
Awesome.
Well, welcome.
Are you brand new to Phase 2?
You're muted.
So, you can go ahead and unmute.
I've been on for just a couple of weeks.
Okay.
Well, welcome.
I started about two weeks ago, I think it was.
Awesome.
Well, welcome.
We're so happy to have you.
Thank you.
All right.
Well, ladies, I'm just going to go ahead and hit some housekeeping items,
and then we can go ahead and get started.
So, ladies, just a reminder, make sure that you're checking all of those tabs
in our app, okay?
So, that's the coursework, the replays, and that resource tab especially, okay?
So, you don't want to miss any of that stuff.
The courses tab is where you're going to find all of your content for Phase 2.
It has those five videos that we want to make sure that you're not rushing through,
that you're only doing one of those course content videos a week.
And then under the replay tab would be where all of our heart check-in replays are,
Supernatural Saturday.
Occasionally, we'll have a Sunday night prophetic activation night that gets put
on replay.
And then our resources tab is where you're going to find things like information
about our single cities that is in the Facebook group.
And then any trips that are coming up or speaking engagements that Jackie is putting
on around the globe, if you will.
So, that's where you're going to want to make sure you're constantly checking those
tabs so that you're staying up-to-date on the information.
So, those of you...and then I want to also remind you, those of you that have been
around a while in Phase 2, so I don't see anybody currently that's online,
but if you're watching in replay and this is you, and it's kind of, you know,
you're like, oh, she's probably talking about me, if you've been around Phase 2
for a while, let's start getting you shifted over to Phase 3, okay?
And so, in order to do that, you're going to email admin at
jackiejorman.com and request to be moved into Phase 3.
So, again, that's only if you've been here for a little while, okay, for longer than those
four to five weeks, but also that you've watched all the video content.
So, we know that some of you ladies are going to stay a little longer than four
or five weeks, and that it might take you a little longer to get through that coursework
material, which is totally fine, but we want to make sure that we're not just
sitting here stagnant in Phase 2 for three, four, I've even seen ladies stay here five
or six months.
So, we want to really shift you over into that Phase 3, because there's a lot
of really good content over there, too, that we want you to have access to once
you've completed the coursework in Phase 2 and come to live check-ins and have
opportunities to get...
some coaching and ask your questions to us here in phase two. But again, there's a lot of really
great stuff happening in phase three that we don't want you missing out on. So, but again,
we also don't want you rushing through phase two as well. So there's just a healthy balance with
that, if you will. Okay. For those of you that might be new to phase two, just a reminder that
this phase is for you to be able to receive. Okay. So I know some of us have teacher hats
and counselor hats and all those good things, mother hats, if you will. Just remember,
you're here to receive. You don't have to feel obligated to give advice or coach other women
in here. Go ahead and leave that to us coaches here in phase two, and you just engage in the
community, but with the heart, heart posture of receiving. Okay. So that's pretty much all I've
got for phase two right now. I see Megan is here with us. Welcome. And Leslie, I see your name. I
don't see a picture of face. If you have the ability to come on camera, please do. So yes,
that's about it for my housekeeping stuff. What I do want to let you ladies know is that
here in a moment after I get through a couple things, I'm going to open the floor for you
ladies to ask questions. And so if you know that you have a question for me, go ahead and
put your avatar hand up. Okay. So that I know how many ladies we've got on here
that have questions because we really want to make sure that we're holding true to time.
And that lets me kind of know as well to see how fast I have to talk to get through
some of the content. All right. So again, just a reminder, if you do have a question,
ladies, please make sure that you're keeping those questions short, brief, and powerful.
As much as I want to hear all the background information, I want to hear all the tea.
We really don't have a lot of time to be able to do that. So let's try to keep those within two
minutes. Let's not try to extend over that. And then just a reminder, if you have more than one
question, let's ask one first. Let everybody who has a question ask their one question.
And then if there's time, we can revisit any additional questions. Ladies, thank you so much.
Yes, I don't typically wear a lot of red, but I appreciate it. Usually I wear a lot of blues and
greens. So I'm trying new things. I'm trying to add some extra color to my wardrobe. So
it's good to know. I will make a note that red is good for me. Anyway, back to those questions.
It's also important that if we don't get to your question, and I have to cut it off at a time,
that you have the ability to go into the app and ask your question there.
We also have an 8 o'clock Eastern Time call tonight. So if you didn't have an opportunity
to ask the question, you can make that, that you can go ahead and ask your question at 8 o'clock
tonight too. With that also being said is if you're on this 1 o'clock call and you have the
opportunity to ask your question and you did ask a question on the 1 o'clock call and you show up
to the 8 o'clock call, let the ladies who have not gotten to ask a question on the 8 o'clock call
to ask their questions first before you jump in and ask a second question to a coach. Does that
make sense? Does everybody follow? So if you've been here at 1 o'clock and ask a question and
you show up at 8 o'clock and you have a question, let ladies who haven't had at least one question
asked, let them have that opportunity first. And then we can get to a second question there too,
if need be. Okay. Awesome. Okay. So I got five ladies that got questions. I'm going to go ahead
and pray and then we're going to dive into a couple of things and then we'll get those questions
going. Okay. So Heavenly Father, I thank you for this time together. Lord, I just ask that you just
remind us of your presence. Lord, I pray that we have the ears to hear your wisdom and that if
there's anything that, you know, any lies that we're starting to align with or believe, Lord,
I just ask that you enlighten us and you show us your truth so that we can replace those lies
with your goodness, your truth, and what you call for us in our lives and so that we just be open to
at and just again hold us close to your heart. We thank you and all that you do and our opportunities
here. We thank you for Jackie and David and all the team and all the ladies and men that show up.
I thank you for those that even just you know they allow themselves to be vulnerable here
and just to continue to speak to all of those ladies and men to trust you and
yeah just be with us today in your son's mighty name. Amen. All right got more people on the call.
Awesome. I'm seeing more faces. Good. Caitlin so good to see you. I'm glad to have you here.
Awesome. Okay ladies activation from last week. Who remembers what it was? Who had the opportunity
to do it? Go ahead and unmute if you were able to get that activation and and want to share
what you discovered. How did that how'd that go for you? I can. Yes Lauren thank you. Yeah so I
actually went on a walk in the metro parks like out in the woods with another girl who's in this
program also and she hadn't gotten on that call so she didn't know the homework and so I told her
I'm like this is our homework so we were walking along all these people passing us and every single
one she's like girl why are they all looking at you? I'm like because I'm staring them down.
Because you're making eye contact with them. Yes. I love it. I go it's not because of anything about
me except for that I'm staring at them so I literally looked eye to eye with like every
person who walked by me smiled said hi and that's like not my norm at all so it was good.
Awesome. Good. Okay so Lauren brought up a good point ladies. So she's walking with one of the
other ladies in the program and and she didn't she was not aware of the activation. Was there
anybody that wasn't aware of the activation? I know I got like four people that got their hands
up for questions but in the chat if you didn't know that there was an activation let me know.
Because I want to make sure that you ladies have information that you need.
Okay so Lily you didn't. Okay Leslie you missed it last week. Okay so Megan this is your first
life of course. Yep that's I understand that so yes. Okay so Lily you didn't make the call. Okay
you missed a call on Tuesday. Watch the replay. Okay make sure you're watching those replays
because we go over activations at the beginning of every call and so that's when you're going
to get those. Okay would it be helpful if I made post each week about what the activations are?
Like I want to make sure you get these activations but I also don't want to just
I want you ladies listening to replays. Like that's important. There's a lot of good information
not just for the activations but your sisters here come and share their struggles,
their dating situations, just their life situations. And believe it or not having been
and walked through this program myself a lot of what your sisters are experiencing
you might possibly be experiencing or will eventually be experiencing
and there is breakthrough in other people's stories. All right so I don't want you ladies
not coming to like this is why these heart check-ins are important. That's why we really
do emphasize that's why we even offer two in hopes to catch everyone who has like off schedules.
So not not everyone can make afternoon evenings and not everyone can make like lunchtime calls
and I know we we also have time zone issues as well but that's why we also offer those in replay.
So I really want to emphasize ladies that you it's that you're coming to those because that's
where you're going to get these activations. Okay okay so I'm seeing a few things in the
chat so I'm going to go through here. Caitlin you're at a copy shot but similarly I made an
effort to make eye contact.
I engage people more and I noticed that more people seem to notice me and made more effort with me. So
Yes, I felt like I felt a little more magnet
Magnetic. Sorry not reading very clearly here. Yes ladies
So believe it or not
Even this activation like so those of you that didn't know or those of you that are on the call for the first time
Or new to phase two last week. I activated you ladies to start making eye contact with men
Smiling and if the opportunity arises to make small talk
Okay, I would even say this doesn't even just have to apply to men
Like Lauren said she looked at everybody. She made eye contact with everybody
Leave it or not ladies
You want to start engaging with people because you never know
Who is connected to your spirit mate?
It could be someone some other woman that you meet at the grocery store
you know
Believe it or not. That's how I I I met my husband through another sister here in this community
I was friends with her. We got to know each other
alright, and
Because she knew me and obviously she knew I was single because we were in Jackie's program together
Okay, she was in a single space but group
for Christians and
She saw my husband's profile. She was already dating somebody y'all
she was dating someone at the time and
She saw my husband and was like she screenshot like all of his stuff all his photos all of his little blip
She's like, hey, what do you think about this guy?
I'm like, yeah, okay
And she reached out to him
And then she kind of like didn't respond to him and so thankfully
God prompted him to still reach out to me
And now the rest is history. Okay, we've been married a year and a half now, right? So you never know
Who you might come in contact with and who you who who knew you might meet?
That could connect you to your spirit mate
So again, I'm going to give this activation for you ladies again
Continue to be making eye contact with men and even women smiling making small talk and then come
prepared next week
to
Share with us your experience or better yet share it with us in the app
Let's not wait till next week
Experience or better yet share it with us in the app. Let's not wait till next week
Go ahead and share that with us in the app, okay
All right, so colette you forgot of okay. Yep. I love it
That you still do that. That's still good practice
Um, any communication is good. I also try to go back and listen to replace good making. I love it
Um lily awesome
Yes, lily, you are you do everything to a t you've grown so much. I love watching you walk
Um this phase two out with us always so good
um
I just have an issue with doing this with married men. I've gotten into trouble in the past
The for it so it makes me nervous. Okay. Well lily here in a little bit
We can always unpack that after your first question if there's time. Okay, so we can always get to that
All right, and joan you make eye contact. Um on your date good and he really liked it and it helped you communicate
So as far as getting um a man to help I got a man to open a smoothie lid good
ladies
men love to help
They really do
like when I was in this program
We like we kind of had this me and the ladies in the program
We had this kind of joke about going to home depot all the time
Because apparently that's where men hang out y'all
Like you're not usually gonna find me there because i'm you know, i'm like, yeah, but but
You know some of us like we would we would be like
Maybe I can go spend a saturday at home depot and look at some plants or look at some light fixtures or whatever
Look at some paint swatches, right?
And let's see if we can like find a guy to help us or get their feedback or get their input y'all men light up
When you ask them for help
Okay
Um, and again, it doesn't have to be because you're attracted to them and you want to go on a date
I actually encourage you just to ladies like
Make eye contact even with the people that you don't like the men that you don't find attractive and just smile and say hi
Okay, now obviously lily if he's with his wife
Probably not like let's not make eye contact and like, you know bow our eyes that some men if they're with their wives, okay
um
Yeah
Like some women might not take it well.
I actually get a kick out of it when I'm out in public
and see women making eyes at my husband.
That's when I'm like, ladies, he's mine.
Don't take him.
But yeah, but let's get that into practice
and let's come ready to share next week.
Cool?
Awesome.
Okay, so I don't have a whole lot of time.
I don't wanna waste.
I wanna allow for opportunity for y'all to ask questions.
I got four ladies.
I thought I had five.
Did I not have five?
Did someone jump off that I missed?
Somebody unmute and let me know.
Colette?
Oh, okay.
Well, do you have a question?
No, I was just gonna let you know about the activation,
but I put it in the chat.
Okay, perfect.
Okay.
Colette, were you the one that had your hand up before?
I was gonna talk.
It wasn't more a question.
It was just kind of feelings, but I can wait.
Okay, well, put your hand up
because I do wanna hear from you.
Okay, so then that way it gives me an idea.
And then, and Caitlin, you have your question.
So yeah, put those avatar hands up, ladies,
because I do wanna get to you if there's time.
Okay, just real quick.
I'm not gonna try to take a whole lot of time.
I'm actually gonna look at the time right now.
I'm gonna kind of pace myself here.
So a few things that I really feel important
to share with you ladies
is this understanding of just this program.
So especially for you ladies that are new to phase two,
you'll probably hear us talk often about this phase
and what it's all about.
And so, you ladies have just come out of heartwork,
and so now you're into what we call the discovery,
dating for discovery phase, okay?
So it's where, you all been on sabbatical.
We asked you in phase one not to do any dating,
and now we're kind of giving you like,
okay, we're gonna open the door for you to start dating.
But just because, like, phase two,
don't feel like you have to be dating
in order to get something from this program
or from this phase, if you will.
So believe it or not, you've come out of heartwork
with all this knowledge and these tools,
and those tools and the knowledge that you have
is going to help you in all relationships.
So it's not just the dating relationships.
It's your relationships with your friends,
your family, your kids, your coworkers,
people at church, people that you're meeting,
people that you're dating, okay?
It's a kind of a catch-all, all right?
Every one of you is gonna be in a different season
and are gonna have a different journey, okay?
So don't disqualify yourself
just because maybe you're not getting dates
or you are kind of maybe waiting a little bit
and getting some of the knowledge from our phase
before you get out into dating.
But what I will emphasize that's important
is that this phase is really going to stretch you
in submitting to the wisdom of this program, okay?
And it's that submitting to that wisdom of this program
is what's gonna help prepare you for marriage
and who God has for you, okay?
And I can give some of my own examples, all right,
having walked through this myself, okay?
So the one thing that I will share
that if you're not already doing,
make sure you have a relationship with God
and you are communicating with Him, okay?
Because at the end of the day, that's your source.
God is your source.
And then this community, we're your resources, okay?
We're your wise counsel, if you will, okay?
I believe that God brings people in our life
to give us wise counsel, okay?
For any of you, like, you know,
if you're trying to learn something new or grow in an area,
you're gonna go to people
that have walked through it before, right?
Right, when y'all get married,
are you gonna want to get wisdom
from somebody that's never been married before?
No, you're gonna go to people
that have been married for a while, right?
That's what my husband and I are doing.
Like, we're reaching out and walking through our marriage
and we're going to couples that have been married
for a good amount of time, okay?
There's wisdom in that.
And so that's really what this program is about.
That's what, you know, us coaches have walked
through this season that you're in
or in this program for a little bit.
And so that's important to keep in mind, okay?
And so and then the last thing I will touch on here and then we'll open the
floor for about 45 minutes for questions is heart work will continue to happen in
phase two. Okay I saw a lot of posts on the app and in roll call where you know
if you ladies go in there and look you might see me reminding some of the ladies
to start unpacking those lies and replacing it with truth. Okay heart work
will continue you'll often hear Jackie say if you've been hurt in community
you're gonna be healed in community. If you've been hurt in family you'll get
healed in family. If you've been hurt in relationship you're gonna be healed in
relationship. Okay and as we uncover those layers of the onion all right new
things are gonna surface we're gonna recognize ooh this this is odd this is
uncomfortable this is new this is being highlighted I'm feeling anxious I'm
feeling avoidant I'm feeling triggered what am I believing that's again those
are what we learned in heart work. What lies or what little foxes in our garden
are we believing that's starting to surface and let's start recognizing that
but the most important thing to remember is we can identify a lie we can identify
that maybe we're responding out of a counterfeit but just identifying it
isn't going to solve what we need to solve what's gonna happen what needs to
take place and the one piece that sometimes I even need to remind myself
to make sure that I'm doing is making sure that we're taking that lie and
replacing it with truth. So I think Joan you had you're having some anxious
thoughts and I responded in the roll call what if you could say what is one
thought or fear in one statement would you identify you are let's let me put it
this way so what is something that you are believing when it comes to someone
dating more than one person I guess I'm just worried that like you know he might
feel more strongly about another woman okay but what I like in the season of my
life because it's the first time is that I'm also seeing other people because in
the past I feel like everyone was seeing other people and I was trying to
be loyal to one person and you know but but dating has changed now right so yeah
so yeah so you brought up a lot of good points I'm gonna go back to the first
thing you said that you and it you were worried that he might like someone else
more was that right okay so let's let's dive a little deeper on that one what's
what's the root what is the root belief
I don't want to lose him don't lose him oh you like him right you're interested
in him yes yes okay so there's a couple things here that's kind of coming up in
my spirit and you just you communicate to me if any of this resonates with you
um you don't want to lose something that you think is good right yeah is it
possible that there is some scarcity or poverty mindset that I found something
good and there's nothing else better out there right yes you got it yeah yeah so
that's I'm saying like ladies you see how some of these situations and these
dating experiences can start bringing a few things to surface that we can start
unpacking and and God can start highlighting to us maybe some of these
belief systems that we're aligning with okay so again like I even hear you say
that he's gonna like someone more so is it possible that we have this belief
that maybe we're not worthy or valuable or good enough do any of those beliefs
start entering in your mind
mind. Right? Okay. And so that's what we want to recognize. We
want to recognize, okay, so when I have this, maybe this anxious
feeling, or I'm talking to this guy really like him, and he's
over here talking to somebody else, and I want to be loyal.
And now I'm having to think more than one person. And I'm not
sure what to do with all of this, right. But it's starting
to bring some things to surface, and God can start healing some
of these lies, right? So again, like, where, where, what is that
rooted in this? Maybe I'm not good enough. No good man is
going to so a guy that I'm attracted to or interested in is
not going to like me back. And is that true? Is that what our
Papa God has for us? And so you see, ladies, how we can start
uncovering and unpacking some of this stuff, and start
replacing it with what God says is true. He says we are worthy.
We're beautifully and wonderfully made. He has, he
has plans and purposes, purposes for us to prosper us. He wants
to give us good gifts. Do we believe that marriage is a
beautiful gift from God? Do you? Ladies, do you believe it? Put
it in the chat. Do you believe that the gift of marriage is
from God? Do you believe it could be a gift? All right. Yes. So
if this is a beautiful gift from God, don't you think he is
intentional and purpose someone for you? So if someone may not,
we might be interested in someone, they may not be
interested in us, and it must not be a person, there must be
somebody better out there. And then if we are interested in
that person, and they're interested in us back, then
we're going to treasure it. We're going to see the value in
that person. So again, this ladies, this phase is going to
start helping you ladies really get to the roots of things. And
I think, Lily, I'm going to kind of pick on you for a minute. I
know, and Lily's been with us in phase two, and I think she will
even attest like in the very beginning, I remember when she
came into phase two, we had really coached the ladies in
that phase at that time, to see men as they're human, right?
Like, they are people to giving men grace, and seeing them as
valuable because believe it or not, I see women oftentimes
coming in to this community. And we have, we've been wounded by
men. Ladies, I've been wounded by men, okay. All my past, there
was a lot of past relationships. And, you know, I have, I have a
son, whose dad left me seven months pregnant, y'all. You want
to talk about some wounds? It didn't feel good. All right. And
so it's easy for us to start taking these experiences from
our past where we've been hurt. And we can start now forming
these belief systems about men in general. And so we don't, we
don't really want to do that. And so this program in this
phase is going to start in implementing that heartwork
piece, and we're going to start uncovering those roots. But
again, it's really important that you ladies be willing to
replace those lies with truth. Cool. All right. Lauren, I'm
going to take your call or your question. And then I'm going to
just go ahead and write down so I don't forget who has their
questions. And that way, if we don't get to it, then I know who
to make sure I get next time. All right, Lauren, what you got
for us?
I don't even really know how much of a question it is. I guess
it's kind of probably just what you were talking about. Like I
was married before. Okay. Um, and I quote, did it all the
right way. We were both pastors. And we waited to have sex until
marriage. Did premarital counseling. Like if you look at
it, it's like, I
did it all the right way.
And a really big problem in our marriage was our sex life.
Okay.
And if I had to summarize it,
I would say it kind of was like,
we couldn't communicate about it.
I mean, he went into like a shame spiral,
almost like assuming like he should just know everything,
even though he had never had sex before.
Yeah.
And I would kind of try and be like,
well, let's talk about it.
Like, you know, push it a little bit.
Hindsight, I could have done a lot better
with the conversation too.
Like we just were like misfiring big time.
Yeah.
So coming out of that marriage,
like for so long I've been like,
I will never get married again
without having sex with that person first.
Okay.
Because it has felt to me like,
if we could have maybe like conquered that
and like communicated through that,
we maybe would still be together.
Now, whether I really want that or not,
looking back, I probably don't
because there were so many other things,
but I think it just makes me very
anxious about like,
like I was listening to The Boundaries,
and The Boundaries video,
and they were talking about how like,
you should probably wait until you're in like premarital
to talk about that.
And that kind of stressed me out a little bit too,
because I'm like, oh, I don't want to get that far
and not have had these kinds of conversations, you know?
So I don't even really know what my question is
as much as it's just like,
I'm definitely finding that
that's like an anxiety point for me.
And I'm working it out with the Lord,
like as far as like,
like what I'm going to do
and how I want to like approach that.
But I also am like, if I meet a healthy man,
like I just want to be healthy,
but it's hard because I'm like,
I feel like I did that before and it really didn't work.
Yeah.
And it was kind of like a surprise
because then you're in the marriage,
you're doing these things for the first time,
like I couldn't have known
Yeah.
how badly the communication was going to go
and stuff like that, I don't know.
Okay, so yeah, you know,
you're bringing up these really good points
and these are all like, I mean,
yeah, everything that you're saying is good stuff here.
Okay, and it's true and it's vulnerable,
it's not true, I shouldn't say that, it's vulnerable.
Okay, because there are some things that again,
the enemy is kind of starting to want to,
get you to start questioning
and that's why you're starting to feel some of this anxiety
and there's this confusion
and this push pull stuff, right?
Yeah.
Okay, and so,
let me ask,
in your relationship where you said
that you did everything the right way,
did you all ever have anything in your relationship
prior to marriage that there was a struggle with
that communication was necessary?
And how did you all handle that?
Yeah, we were not good at it.
I didn't hear you, what did you say?
We were not good at it.
Okay, so do you see how,
it's not necessarily the fact that you,
oh, well, we did this not having sex thing
and then when we got in marriage
and then the sex wasn't like, we couldn't communicate,
it had nothing to do with the sex piece,
it had everything to do with the communication piece.
Okay, so let's really like, let's pull that out.
So if you're like,
because what does God say about marriage and sex?
Right?
Yeah.
I know, and ladies,
hear me when I say, okay,
I don't, when I wanna make sure that we emphasize here,
there is no guilt and shame here, okay?
And I'm gonna get vulnerable with you ladies.
I had sex before marriage,
a lot, I was very promiscuous, okay?
I got pregnant with a man that I was not married to.
All right?
So when God brought me to this program
and even in that, like when his dad left me,
God convicted my heart
and I really started pressing into this.
It wasn't God's design, all right?
But I also had to own my own life.
I had to own my own life.
All right?
But I also had to own my part in it,
but it didn't have to come from a place of shame and guilt.
You know, and this program and the heart work helped me
and many years of counseling helped me
Get to the root of
What I was seeking in those relationships were were you know, I I put sex there
Okay, and there was a lot of things that I had to uncover
All right
I actually just shared this not too long ago with someone that I was on a one-on-one coaching call with and
it was rooted in
Something that happened to me when I was a teenager and something that my dad told me
You know, he bought me flowers y'all this is cringy my dad bought me flowers when I had my period for the first time
like and
The gesture was my dad just being a loving caring father. I was his only daughter
He definitely probably was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Right? He's male like he didn't know how to raise a daughter
He never done it before
And he wasn't a female so he didn't get it
So he bought me these flowers, but he said something to me he said I'm the only man that's ever gonna buy you flowers
It's not gonna want something
Ladies I
Didn't understand at the time when my dad said that
but those words stuck with me over the years and
it was those words that the enemy started twisting and
Making me believe these lies and it wasn't because my dad was a terrible father and that he was like
Oh, how dare a dad say that to his daughter y'all God show me that
To have grace for my dad
My dad was like he loved me so much. He was trying to protect me
Like he wanted he wanted to make sure that no man was gonna try to take advantage of his baby girl. I
Could also understand now as a parent why like, you know
We don't want our kids to have to walk through that stuff, right? And so
So, okay Lily my dad said he was the only man that was gonna buy me flowers that wasn't gonna want something from me and
so that happened when I was 14 years old and
Then I didn't have sex throughout high school
but then when I entered college, I
Started aligning with this belief system. I
Wasn't liked I wasn't pretty enough. No boys liked me. I didn't even get asked to my senior prom
I didn't even go to my senior prom in high school. And
So then when I go to college and there's lots more people and like no parental like supervision now, right? I
started aligning with this belief that
Guys weren't guys will only like me if I had sex with them
Okay, so all of this to say to kind of go back to like I had to start going like I had to go like
I didn't have I don't want to you don't want to give shame to this like having sex
So again, Lauren's saying, you know, she did it the right way
and so now she's wanting to start partnering with this lie that
She needs to have sex with someone so that she doesn't fall in the same trap
Or the same situation or circumstance
in her next marriage
but is it the fact that the sex part was the issue or was it the
communication
That was the issue and were there opportunities for you all before you got married to kind of recognize
Where the communication needed some work
So again, this is where healthy pacing is important
So Lauren, I will encourage you that as you're out there dating
to really be
Focused and be paying attention to communication
How well you communicate what you can do differently this time around in your communication
And what types of questions can you be asking someone?
In the right time
So this is again why we always talk about pacing as well
I also want to caution you don't start aligning with this belief that there's no men out there that are going to wait for marriage
Now that we're older
Okay
I know this is definitely probably something i'm sure i'm probably stirring so much stuff up
So many ladies right now
And I say it because I was there too
That was a struggle for me
You know
Did I touch on some of the did I give you any clarification
Like or is there any question now that is surfacing now that we've kind of unpacked some of this?
I don't think so. I think I think probably as I date a little bit more now that i've been through some of the program
I might need clarity on like
Kind of when to have those conversations as far as you know
Yeah so that's so she's bringing up a good question here ladies and I'm
hoping this is touching on questions that maybe are stirring up in any of you
ladies that are on the call or watching and replay. Proper pacing and questions
and so we talk about levels of relationships so those of you have that
who haven't watched Dating 101 you're gonna find that content there so make
sure that you go and watch that. If you've watched that and you need a
refresher go back and re-watch it. Okay so there's gonna be that level two is
that getting to know you stage where you're having an in-person date or at
least a video date. Okay and those first few exchanges I would say two three
four dates in you want things just to be very light airy you're getting to know
someone like what do you think what do they enjoy what do you like to do are
they fun to be around do you have some things in common it's not gonna be that
deep dive conversation stuff. Okay then after you've probably been on at least
three or four dates with that person and you're still thinking you know I really
like this person I really enjoy being around them I want to continue to keep
seeing them that's when you're going to eventually get to a point where you can
start uncovering some more deeper questions. Okay and then the same thing
like once you get into an exclusive conversation that a man is going to lead
you to okay we want the men to lead that exclusive level three relationship then
that's when you are gonna have to ask some of these questions it's going to be
important for you to know those things. And so we can help you when you get to
that pace and and here's the thing I we I can tell you I we touch on this often
I'm always getting questions about this and so you know go in the app look at
other people's situation how we're responding to them you come in ask the
questions and and we'll be able to give you wisdom and insight on that. Okay all
right Lulu I got you up next. Hi um hi Carla so I've been talking to two guys
recently they they both are live like three hours away and they show their
grounded Christian they both showed interest at some level so I want to know
that I'm attracted to the guy that show less like move slower. Okay. So how do I
so the one move faster I actually went on two days with him he's pretty nice but
a little boring but but the second guy second guy is actually from our program
and we managed to meet at a conference so and we we chat on video and we we I
and he showed he shows our interest and we had a connection and we both um
working on something together so I feel I'm more interested in him but he he's
moving slower and we we haven't went on date because he also live far we just
meet at a conference that's all so okay yeah. So you okay so what I'm hearing is
you know there's a guy that you really like and he's not the one that's like
he's not moving he's not matching that like okay I want to get to know him like
he's he's not matching that energy like okay like he's not showing as much
interest so what is surfacing like what are what's if you could what anxious
thought or fear is coming up with him not showing interest in you in the way
that you were hoping is there anything that you're you're thinking or anxious
about or not sure of like what's what's one statement that you could say this is
this is what you're thinking. So he would he would text me I really enjoy getting
to know you and I had a I I had a great time talking to you here is my number
but then he doesn't do anything and maybe like he would wait for five days
but and then text me like out of sudden like so yeah. Okay so he's given you his
number so he's showing like hey it's been good getting to know here's my
number but he's not doing anything so what are you what is your thought behind
that what what is there a fear or an anxious thought that's coming up? Maybe
he's seeing someone at the same time or he's talking to other people. So you're
afraid that you're not sure how he feels about you. Right. And that's giving you
anxiety why? I took the test I'm anxious attached like. I was too. I was too. So
again let's get to what's the root like what are we believing if a guy is not
showing us interest?
in a way that we are hoping that he shows us off the bat?
I guess I'm comparing him with the other guy.
He's more faster.
He's- Okay.
Yeah.
So, okay.
So is it possible that
even though he's not showing as much interest
as the other guy,
is it possible that he could still be interested in you?
I think so.
Yeah.
Right?
I can feel it, but it's just...
And at the conference,
we even, we have to write down the list
that negotiable and non-negotiable.
And he even asked, oh, why is the...
He even asked me some content.
So I guess he is interested in some level.
Just, I would encourage you just get to know him.
Okay?
Let's just, again,
if you're starting to feel anxiousness
because he's not giving you attention,
let's really just remind ourselves,
look, I'm just now getting to know him.
I'm in the level to get to know you phase.
It doesn't mean that he's not interested.
Again, just practice.
Okay, what can you do to get to know him better?
So if he gave you his number,
are you, did you drop a hanky and say,
hey, why don't we do a video call?
Yeah, we actually had like three or four.
Okay.
Video call.
All right, say, hey, like,
what are your thoughts about us
maybe trying to get together again?
Like meeting in person.
Have you dropped that hanky?
Yes, we're gonna meet,
but the thing is the video call was more about,
we both artists, so we're sharing some works.
Okay.
So it's not really like a...
You're still in that get to know you phase
where again, you're seeing like if you're interested
and you're getting to know each other and seeing.
So again, I would just encourage you
continue to get to know the other guy
that might be moving things a little bit faster
and then still continue to get to know this guy.
And then, yeah, don't be afraid to drop hankies,
meet in person, that kind of thing.
What's important ladies is to remember,
you just wanna match the same intentionality
and pacing of guys as well.
There's reciprocation, okay?
We don't have to align with,
oh, there's no one out there
that's not gonna be interested in me,
all that kind of stuff.
So that's what I would even start to uncover as well
is again, what anxious thoughts or beliefs
are we aligning with and are they true?
And is God using that to uncover
and prepare us on something deeper?
Okay, so just again, thank you so much for being vulnerable
and letting us know.
Keep us posted with how that's going, okay?
I'm gonna be interested to know
if this guy's gonna start initiating
some interaction with you, okay?
But at the same time, still enjoy the other guy
that is showing intentionality with you as well.
Also, be open to meeting some guys in your area.
Are you on any like dating sites or anything like that?
You mean dating apps?
Yeah. Yes.
Okay, yeah, keep having fun with it.
Ladies, this is like the fun stage
because I hear Ebony coach ladies on this all the time,
like ladies, enjoy this dating now
because when you're married,
like you're dating your husband, that's it.
Like, and that's good, like I'm not saying that,
but you're never gonna go through this dating season again
when you meet your spirit mate, okay?
So have fun getting to know new people, you know,
and just enjoy that process as best as you can, okay?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All right, Lily, what's your question?
Okay, well, I'm kind of annoyed.
Can you do me a favor
and try to keep it short, brief and powerful?
And I know I got five other ladies on,
so those five ladies,
will y'all type your question in the chat?
So Colette, Caitlin, I think there's maybe four ladies.
Colette, Caitlin, Stacey and Louisa,
go ahead and type your questions in the chat for me.
And Anya, Anya, it's so good to see, Anya, Anya.
I almost messed up your name, I'm so sorry.
Type your questions in the chat
while Lily is giving us her question,
cause I do wanna do my best,
cause we got about 20 minutes and I wanna hit these, okay?
All right, Lily, what you got?
Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.
So you're annoyed.
Yeah, um, I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about someone.
So a guy who I messaged, so I sent, I was the last one that sent
a message that was weeks ago.
He never replied.
Now we're in the same Facebook group and this Facebook group is very active
and they actually meet online and they meet, um, in person.
And I'm just thinking I might see him at some point soon.
And I, I just think that that behavior of not responding to someone is so worldly
and for someone who's, and maybe it's judgment, whatever, but I just think that.
So I'm trying to reframe, you know, refocus my brain to think, I don't know,
how do you act towards someone who.
Okay.
So you've had some, okay.
I'm trying to follow here.
So you, you've engaged with somebody you've been chatting and then
he's just stopped responding to you.
Um, just no, there's just no chatting.
There's like no communication.
I sent over that's work.
Sorry.
I sent over the last message and he never replied.
How long were you guys chatting back and forth prior?
We had met.
I mean, at that point, like at that point, I knew that there was no interest.
Okay.
So what I'm saying is like, how do I now act?
You know, how do you want to act?
I don't, I just want to ignore him.
I don't want to say hi.
Okay.
So why do you want to ignore him?
What, what, like what's being stirred up in your spirit with that?
It's just, um, I think it's judgment.
It's like, how do you call yourself Christian?
And you act like the world.
Okay.
Cause the world does that.
They ghost you.
Okay.
So you don't like being ghosted.
You feel ghosted.
Right.
And so now you're annoyed.
It's more ignored.
Why can't you be professional at your 46 years of age and just say,
you know, acknowledge.
I wasn't looking for like any more communication.
It was just like acknowledgement.
Okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
Can I challenge you a bit?
Do I have permission to challenge you?
Yeah.
Okay.
I get where you're coming from.
Okay.
And, and, and quite frankly, like I, we live in this world.
We're not out of this world, but we're going to live in this world.
So ladies, we're going to experience these kinds of people all the time.
Y'all I'm literally in the brink of it with a mom on my older son's baseball team.
Like I'm really struggling with this.
However, it means that I get the opportunity to decide how I am going to show up.
Other people live in this world, but how I show up is my responsibility.
So Lily, I'm going to challenge you.
How do you want to show up without like,
again, we can't control how other people showed up.
Yeah.
We're being offended by somebody.
It actually, ladies, you'll hear Jackie say this all the time.
If you have a fence, it's not a them issue.
It's a heart issue on in the inside of you.
So that's what I'm going to challenge you with.
So late Lily, you have this guy, like, again, it sucks.
It sucks being ghosted.
It's not honorable.
You're right.
Be willing to have communication, but guess what?
Not everybody's going to do that.
Even I fall short on that sometimes.
He may not even be aware that he did that.
I can't tell you.
There was even a time I ghosted someone and was completely blinded that I ghosted somebody
because I started a new job as a teacher and I got so overwhelmed.
He reached out to me.
I looked at the message.
Two or three weeks later, I realized I never responded to him.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my goodness.
And at that point, it was done.
His sister was friends with me on Facebook.
And when I looked, she had unfriended me on Facebook.
So clearly there was a fence there.
But how I decided to show up is important.
So again, for how he's decided to show up, how did he carry that?
So again, how do you want to show up and how do you want to carry it?
So if you have an offense inside you, what's being pulled out of you?
Well, no, I didn't realize until now that it was an offense.
Yeah.
I'll just forgive him and move on.
It's not worth it.
I'm not going to help anyone.
Yeah.
So it's like, okay, cool.
I might see you.
Hey, what's up?
How's it going?
Okay.
No big deal.
Yeah, so yeah, I just challenge you with that ladies and and I love that Lily can't like Lily is great
She owe it. She she's always willing to share us
You know what's going on in a world and she will humble herself and and and learn and grow like Lily
I I still again. I I'm an amazement of how much you've grown and
Your willingness to do that. So ladies this this phase is going to grow you
It's going to surface things
That God wants to heal
Okay, so just keep that in mind Lily, um before I take another question, have you watched all the content
Yeah, okay. I'm gonna encourage you. Let's get you to phase three
You're ready, I don't think I am you are ready girl. Let me tell you you're ready
There's so much good stuff and there's so much other teaching over in phase three
That I really think you're gonna enjoy and benefit from
Yeah, I
Know you don't sound confident in yourself pray about it
Okay, and I really I am gonna encourage you to do that. Just email admin at Jackie Dorman calm say hey
I've been in phase two for X amount of weeks. I've watched the content. I don't know if I'm ready, but I
You know, can can I get into phase three just just think about it praying on prayer pray about it for a week or a
Day or two. Okay. Okay. All right. Thank you so much for showing up, Lily
All right
Let's see, I've got Caitlin Stacy Louisa and and yeah
I'm gonna go ahead and read through the questions because I hope that you ladies put this up and then if I need more information
I can
Can pull that from you so Leslie
It can be so hard to break out of anxious to cure. Okay. Yes, it's frustrating and don't Leslie
don't don't stress so much about that believe it or not like I
sometimes will show up in my anxious and I'm married y'all like it's it's and sometimes when you
You will I've learned that because I'm in a healthy relationship
That
Anxiousness kind of falls off over time. Okay, so just keep that in mind. Okay. Yes
And yes, you just popped in to share what you'd asked me and how you knit navigated the end of that dating situation
So yes, I do want to get to that Stacy your question. Oh, what's going on here? Things are jumping around in the chat
Essentially I threw out an invitation is to see a show to
The singles group that I led at church ended up going with one guy that I really like I'll see him tonight at the group
But I don't know what level of dropping the hanky or letting him lead that is acceptable. Okay, so Stacy you
Invited somebody from your singles group to hang out and he accepted your invitation
Well, I threw out an invitation to the group to see the form which is you know, a strict delay
Styles go about Jesus and his story and
He he was like, oh, yeah, I want to go and
Like later that day. He was like, oh, I'm looking at tickets. It looks like they're selling out fast
Do you want me to grab the tickets and you can pay me back and I was like, yes, that's all it's great
I've been like dealing with getting a new phone all day and it's not going so well and he's like
Oh, I deal with Apple products. Let me help. So it was just really cool that he like
Took initiative that okay. So again, he's you know, but it seems like there's still like it. Is this a day?
It's not really like it wasn't because you put it out in the big group. Okay. Yeah
Go out hang out. Okay get to know him
I mean if it's just the two of you showing up just get to know him at the end
Is it just gonna be the two of you? It was just the two of us
So we had we had that it felt like a date wasn't a date
But like the question is like what what level am I at now?
Like can I drop the Hank you'd be like, I really enjoyed getting to know you one-on-one. I'd love absolutely
Yes
Do it. All right. Say hey, you know, thank you so much for for attending that, you know show with me
I had such a great time. You know, I would you be interested in and hanging out and
Being because here's the thing y'all were watching a show. You really couldn't couldn't get to know each other, right?
You're like, hey, would you be interested in like going bowling with me sometime?
Like I really enjoy getting to know you and I like to get continue to get to know you better
Would that be cool? Is there a day that you're free drop it drop that hanky girl and then let us know what's going on
Thank you, right awesome, okay
All right, so Stephanie seeing multiple people really helps with the anxious, okay, thank you. Yes Stephanie
She is, she's been in here for a couple of weeks,
and she gets it, she knows, she's worked through it,
she's seeing all good things.
All right, Kaitlin, I'm gonna go ahead
and take Kaitlin here, and then Anya,
I do wanna touch on some of your stuff,
because I know this is your last week with us here
in phase two before you shift over.
All right, so Kaitlin, this happened three times.
We chat back and forth on the app for around a week,
we talk about meeting on Zoom or in person,
and then they go, flash, the date doesn't happen, yep.
I have been trying to meet people outside my city,
so I'm wondering if it's because the guys realize
that the long distance isn't worth it,
once the reality of chatting,
IRL hits, in real life hits, okay, gotcha.
Y'all, I'm old, I don't, I don't,
my kids have to school me on all of the like,
acronyms for things, and like all the,
y'all, I'm so old, I know I don't look old,
I always joke with my husband, I'm older than my husband,
but I always tell him, I'm like, you look older than me,
I'm older than you, but I look younger.
Okay, sorry, squirreled for a moment.
Okay, I'm also wondering if I'm just not
a very compelling person on the apps chat,
to be honest, I'm tired of the process
of small talking guys via chat on the apps,
too many starts and stops, I'm having a hard time
having fun in the dating process,
again, I totally get that, and nothing seems to be taking.
I'm currently chatting with two guys
who live in Colorado, you live in Washington,
I have been chatting with both of them
for a little over a week, ideally,
I'd like to just meet on Zoom,
but neither guy has initiated,
here's the thing, initiate it with them, okay?
Drop the hanky on that with them,
but neither guy has yet, okay,
so I'm afraid of initiating a Zoom date
because I don't want to scare them off.
Okay, nope, no worries about being long, okay.
Caitlin, I recall the last time we were on,
we were unpacking and Holy Spirit showed up
on that conversation, remember?
Remember what I said?
Those lies, go ahead.
Sorry, I do, but yeah, will you help jog my memory?
So yeah, remember we were kind of drawing out
some of those lies and some of those things
that you were starting to believe about yourself
and all of those insecurities coming up,
and remember how I encouraged you
to start speaking to that enemy?
Yes, yes.
It's, here's the thing, it's still showing up here.
Okay. Right?
You know, like, you know,
when you're getting ghosted and the date doesn't happen,
I'm wondering if it's because of,
I'm just not a very compelling person.
Is that true?
No. Is Caitlin not a compelling,
she is the compelling person.
You're compelling.
Absolutely.
So again, let me help you ladies, okay?
This is what helped me, and I had to do this myself.
Holy ghosting and things not working out
with some of these guys is good.
You do not want the wrong people coming in your path
to distract you from what God has for you
and who God has for you.
So ladies, when you're getting ghosted
and these guys aren't showing interest to you, it's okay.
You don't want those people to come in and stir
and get in that confusion.
So let's invite that, Lord, if this is not my person,
don't let them be interested in me.
Let them move along, right?
And Lord, if there is someone
that you want me to come in contact with
that may not be my spirit mate,
I trust that you're bringing them into my life
because you want me to grow, you want me to heal,
you wanna show me something
that is going to prepare me for my husband.
Ladies, I will testify there were men that came in my life
when I was in this program that I dated
that were not my spirit mate,
but I learned something from every single one of them.
And I'm not saying that it was easy.
I'm not saying that there was times
that that rejection didn't hit and it hit hard.
However, what I will say,
now that I'm on that other side of it,
it was all worth it.
It made all perfect sense.
And God made it very clear to me who my husband was.
And I'm so thankful for those guys that I dated prior to him
because it allowed me to be open
to receive the gift that my husband is.
So what I'm seeing, Caitlin,
is that we're still battling some of this identity stuff
that's creeping in, that the enemy wants to sit here
and get you to quit.
yourself that you're not compelling that guys don't like you that maybe here's
another thing if it's long-distance then they're realizing oh I don't want to
move for this person I well they don't have to decide that right away right
what if your husband doesn't live near you guess what he's gonna make the
effort believe it or not I was in a long-distance relationship my husband
was long-distance mm-hmm I didn't want to move but that was one thing God was
like you don't need to give that to me all right but I will tell you my husband
was so intentional was showing me I was worth the distance for him to travel to
get to know me mm-hmm all right so we don't have to worry about what ladies
leave that to God let God figure all of that out he's got that mm-hmm but let's
start again let's again we're not gonna sit here in a line with those enemies
for the the lies that the enemy wants to feed you Caitlin I'm not yeah I'm
not buying it yeah you are compelling you are worth it you are worth any
amount of distance for a guy to come see you and get to know you all right so
let's let's start aligning with that until Satan he can shove it and go back
where he belongs all right
okay I think she froze for a minute but sorry I'm back my audio froze I'm at
this coffee shop no I remembered that when that froze yeah my my internet's
been freezing yeah I wasn't sure if it was me or you yeah no preach preach
thank you all right affirming and I think my the last thing is just that
initiation thing because I don't want to like I there's a fear of like being too
masculine by like stepping out of your comfort zone there is and we can have a
feminine have you watched the divine feminine video yet yeah yeah but maybe
I'll go rewatch it cuz I watch it cuz again there is a way for us to softly
approach and like again initiate contact you know that dropping the hanky letting
guys know that they're that we're interested that we're you know we want
them to want to get to know us like there there are ways that subtly do it
where we we don't have to like masculinely take charge but we can be
like hey you know like and softly approach and whatnot so it's gonna step
you out of your comfort zone but that's all good yeah awesome thank you so much
Caitlin for being vulnerable and letting us know okay Louisa I'm sorry I could
not get to you um please please please I'm gonna make two so if you can go on
the eight o'clock call with Ebony and I will let her know that you came to one
o'clock and we couldn't get to your question so if you still have that
because the last person I want to take here is Anya before she goes over to
face face three and leaves us but all for good reasons so just to kind of give
and and correct me if I'm leaving anything out Anya you were I'm getting
to know a guy for over a month you were at level two you were interested in him
but there were some things that you know you weren't sure about so after
getting to know him for about a month you were able to have some deeper
conversations which at that point is important because you spent some time
getting to know him and you came to the realization and had peace that it was
excuse me okay to let him go and he he had some anxiousness attaching that
happened with him and she had to set some some boundaries and she had a
grieve as well but I'm interested to know how all of that has has panned out
yeah I think just about two weeks ago I had a call with him just to let him know
the call was fine I mean he was quiet so I yeah but then you started texting
you lots of yes lots of things and just in context to like he for you ladies
like he had expressed very clearly how much he liked me so I know that was
difficult for him but yeah he he texted me shortly after our call kind of trying
to understand and I responded at first because it was not super intense and
then a little bit later it was a little bit more like wait but I don't get this
I thought we were doing one day at a time like you know he it was so
specifically it was just where we're at in our faith journeys for what I feel
called to like I'm in full-time ministry and I lead in full-time ministry and he's
just brand brand brand new and there's some other
other beliefs there that he's not quite figured out or sure about yet that just weren't in
alignment and so um to him it was small differences like I but I can grow you know like so there were
different different tones to the text depending on what time of day and what day it was that he sent
um so he had sent a few more and they were a little bit more almost aggressive like yeah
like kind of throwing my words back in his face about like he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't healthy
in respecting boundaries and I think that was really telling and I think if anything
I think that was probably important for you to see and and confirm and affirm you
that you made the right choice and that you can confidently walk in the dating season and and
trust yourself in the process yeah that's before you like ladies it's you know dating is not easy
but it is worth it and um you know you're learning to come in with healthy boundaries
and communicate effectively and you're and what I will say is you know y'all she saw
some really good qualities in that man and she was like wow I you know I remember you even sharing
wow he's gonna have to really like that my husband's gonna have to measure up here he's
gonna have to come with some of these qualities that this guy had because I really like that
and so she's she's discovering what she likes and the qualities and characteristics in in a spirit
mate that she really desires and so she got to learn that from this experience yes she got to
practice setting some healthy boundaries and also seeing that she can be confident
and she hears from God and he's showing up in that and so here's the thing is that guy's not
a bad guy does he have some healing and some growth absolutely now she gets to pray for him
not to him she's not probably gonna be here let me pray for you let me tell you what you did wrong
no just be like look you can at this point I'm guessing you kind of just stopped responding and
blessed him well I did for a couple days and then he sent he switched over to Facebook messenger
because I don't know he probably thought I blocked his number or something but he was like hey I like
I haven't heard from you in a while I hope you're okay which like well of course you haven't heard
from me you've been bombarding me with texts but so I felt just to give a quick response of
hey I'm okay I need space to process if I decide to reach out again I will text when I'm ready and
I had said that in context of the last one he had sent me was I don't want to lose you as a friend
and I was like it was a little bit less aggressive and so I just was like okay I mean I like this guy
and yeah and my heart was hurting for him too and so just trying to process it all but that's more
what I meant and then the message I got back was like shoot he took that as being really hopeful
but I don't have the energy to answer this today here's the thing you said about me and said hey I
need time I need space if and when I want to reach out I will yeah you set a boundary
and that's it yeah here's the thing ladies and I'll leave with this and then I'm gonna you know
let you ladies go is when you if any of you ladies encounter men like this if you have to
kind of end things with somebody and they're showing up this ancient attachment you know I
want you again ladies come let us know what's going on we can coach you through this um Anya's
done really really well about setting healthy boundaries and not taking the bait if you will
because what that is is manipulation yeah he's he's trying to manipulate her he doesn't want
to end this he wants to manipulate her and and you know feeling sorry for him and play with her
emotions and heartstrings again I don't think he's doing this intentionally and maliciously
I think he's just got some wounds that he's gonna have to heal on his own but it's not your
responsibility to heal him right he's got a he's got a god that loves him and that will work on him
in that and that's when we bless him like we can bless and block okay and so but again I want to
emphasize when you ladies have if men are going to show up in this way it's recognizing that it's
manipulation and you can set a boundary and it and that's just it like he's not making healthy choices
he's he's not doing it well and it's not her responsibility to pick it up
okay so if that happens to any of you like rest assured boundaries are good that's why we put
boundaries in
and faith too, because you're going to practice those boundaries and you're going to practice
healthy communication. So again, thank you so much for letting us in this phase walk through
this with you. It's beautiful when things like this happen because your experience really is,
makes my job easy, honestly, to help you ladies walk through and pull things out.
And inevitably, this is what I love is, ladies, your experiences in this phase is going to grow
you and teach you and uncover things that God wants to use. And so again, I can't thank you
enough for just letting us walk that journey with you. And I still, I have eyes in phase three.
So I'll be looking for your story for sure and seeing how you're doing. But thank you so much
again, ladies. I hope y'all got something from this today. Don't forget your activations and
yeah, just keep showing up and keep being vulnerable with us and we'll see you all next
week. Okay. Bye ladies. Bye y'all.