Good evening, hello everyone.
Rhea, can you hear me now?
Not sure if you can hear me now or not.
I don't know if that's how you say your name either, but giving it a shot.
If someone can type in the chat for me for her,
just so that I can go ahead and get us started,
that she might want to check her audio on her device.
So, Father, we just thank you for the start of this session.
We pray that you'll help Rhea get connected,
and we just thank you for bringing all these amazing ladies here,
as well as those that will be joining us, those that will watch the replay.
My name is Bethany Cooper.
I'm so glad to be here with you tonight.
I'm one of the HeartWork coaches in the community,
and just so thankful to get an opportunity to meet all of you,
to be on this journey with you, to see what God's doing in your lives,
to hear about the breakthroughs, the revelations,
the moments of joy and celebration, all of the things in between.
And so we're so glad that you chose to say yes to yourself on this journey,
and to jump in with Jesus and just see what he had in store.
And we just love that we get to see a small glimpse of that journey
in this season of your life.
So, if you are new, if you're joining us for the first time,
thank you, Karen.
If you're joining us for the first time, let us know in the chat
so we can welcome you.
Ladies joining us again, you've been here before.
Welcome back.
We're so glad to see you again.
I want to encourage all of you, if you're able,
to come on screen with me tonight and with Karen and Mika.
Yep, there we go.
Hi.
Oh, that's right.
Karen Rios and Karen Roa have both of you.
Forgot, I have two Karens now.
I've got to remember that.
Love it.
But come on camera.
Let us see you.
Why do we ask you to do that here in the heart work and in this community?
Well, because we need to come out of hiding and allow ourselves to be seen,
known, heard, and loved.
It's a really important part of your healing process,
way more than you even realize.
So many times people don't even like to look at themselves in the mirror.
They don't like to see themselves on a screen.
And ladies, if you can't do it here,
most likely you're going to really struggle to do it with dating.
Okay?
So practice now.
And even for some of you,
to allow yourselves to be seen by another woman that you don't know super
well can feel a little uncomfortable.
But, again, if we all get out of our comfort zones and stretch,
I believe God's going to bring some freedom for you.
And we love to see you.
I love to see you.
It helps me know who you are a little bit better,
which I see pictures for the most part.
You know, if somebody has a profile picture, that helps.
But sometimes when there's a black screen,
it's a little harder to make a connection with that.
Right?
So I want to connect with you.
We want to connect with you.
And that's a great way to make that happen.
All right.
Just a couple of housekeeping in addition to that.
Supernatural Saturday, if you haven't heard it yet,
Jackie said she woke up with 3D words.
And God was speaking to her to come and share about those with us.
Distractions, disruptions, delays, and dead ends.
So check that out.
It's in the replay tab.
Okay.
So here's a couple things.
I have been realizing that not everybody knows that the weekly role
call post goes up on Sundays.
So what that's for is so we can do a check-in with you.
It's just a quick way for us to like, okay,
if I haven't seen you for a week,
if I'm a friend of yours or I'm coaching you in person, guess what?
I love to do a check-in with you in addition to group setting.
Like, hey, how's your week going?
What week of the heart work are you processing
and working on all of that kind of little stuff.
But we also try to tie in a little bit of the supernatural Saturday to
that weekly roll call post.
If you haven't seen that yet, that was put up yesterday morning.
It is under the community tab in the app and you can check that out
there.
It's pinned to the top, but we want to hear from you,
even if it's just once a week, ladies.
Okay.
So please respond to that or create your own standalone post.
But either way we'd love to,
we want to hear from you and hear what God is doing.
Here are your questions, all of the things.
And then also, if you didn't know, when you join our community,
we would love for you to do an introduction post.
So in that introduction post, just share a couple things about yourself.
You know, it can be things you love to do.
It could be what led you here.
It could be both of those things, you know,
you don't have to get super personal, but just a little bit.
So we can get to know you and share a picture of yourself.
So share a picture that you like of yourself and let us see you in that
way as well.
All right.
So let me pray for us.
And officially I was praying a little bit just for Rhea,
help her get connected.
Hopefully she was able to get connected there.
Rachel, welcome for the first time, Katie, this is your first time.
Awesome.
Welcome.
All right.
So we have two new ladies tonight.
Welcome back to all my other ladies again.
Thanks so much for being here.
And we are excited to see what God's going to do.
Father, we just thank you right now.
just in this moment, just that we are all brought here
for such a time as this, God,
that we will never all be in this same place at this time
for this intended purpose ever again.
So Lori, we thank you for bringing
every one of these ladies together tonight,
as well as those that are gonna watch the replay,
those that are in the group all at the same time.
God, we pray for supernatural sisterhoods to form.
We pray for friendships
where women have gotten hurt in the past.
God, we ask you to help them to let down their walls
and that you would help them to open their hearts
through grace and courage to just the new community
that you've now placed around them.
God, we thank you for healing in those areas.
We ask you, God, to bring anything out of the darkness
into the light so that we can hear
what your spirit is saying needs revealed.
Help us, Father, to lean into your heart,
to not turn away from you or pull back.
God, even when you're revealing areas
that might feel tender or difficult to process at times,
God, we thank you that the word declares
that when we are overwhelmed, we can turn to you.
So Lord, we thank you
that you lift all of our burdens off of us.
Jesus, we can cast our cares upon you
because you care for us.
So we ask you to just lift every care off of every woman,
even tonight, help them to know that you love them,
that you're working on their behalf.
Even when their eyes can't see it,
God, help their hearts and hope to rise up,
faith to rise up so that they can believe
in the supernatural work of your power
and your presence in their lives
and every day in every situation.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Tonight, we're gonna talk about
the Revealing for Healing cycle
and a little bit more about how the heart is a womb
and how we need to be careful
about what we allow to get in there.
And I'm gonna talk about squatters
and evicting them tonight.
So it's gonna be really good.
But before we go there,
I was reading this morning
and really felt led to declare Psalm 119
over our phase one group and not the whole thing.
If y'all don't know,
Psalm 119 is like one of the longest Psalms,
but several verses.
So bear with me,
but I feel like it's really powerful way
for us to start tonight.
And I'll tell you the verses,
but I'm gonna go quick.
So if somebody wants to help grab those for everybody
and put that in the chat, that would be amazing.
So I'm starting out in Psalm 119 in the NIV version,
and I'm starting in verse two through three.
Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart.
They do no wrong, but follow his ways.
Verse 10 through 12, I seek you with all my heart.
Do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, Lord, teach me your decrees.
Verse 15 through 16, I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees.
I will not neglect your word.
Verse 18, open my eyes that I may see
wonderful things in your law.
Verse 30 through 32, I have chosen the way of faithfulness.
I've set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to your statutes, Lord.
Do not let me be put to shame.
I run in the path of your commands
for you have broadened my understanding.
Verses 33 through 37, teach me, Lord,
the way of your decrees that I may follow it to the end.
Give me understanding so that I may keep your law
and obey it with all of my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands
for there I find the light.
Turn my heart towards your statutes
and not towards selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things.
Preserve my life according to your word.
All right, now I'm gonna skip down to 57 through 59.
You are my portion, Lord.
I have promised to obey your words.
I have sought your face with all of my heart.
Be gracious to me according to your promise.
I have considered my ways
and have turned my steps to your statutes.
I'm gonna do one more set here, 76 and 77.
May your unfailing love be my comfort.
According to your promise to your servant,
let your compassion come to me
that I may live for your law is my delight.
The reason I read those tonight, a couple things.
I want you all to notice
there's a lot of I statements there,
but it came after the adoration and praise
towards the Lord as well as saying,
hey, Lord, give me more understanding of your word.
Help my heart delight in you.
I'm gonna live and obey your commands.
I'm gonna walk in your ways.
Open my eyes that I might see wonderful things
in your law and your word.
So it's like there's this conversation going on.
He's talking to the Lord the whole time,
but it's like he's reflecting,
but then he's saying, okay, this is what I'm gonna do.
This is what I need.
I need you to teach me.
me Lord, teach me, give me understanding. And so as we are leaning into the revealing for healing,
I feel like it's a really good setup for that. Because here's the thing, ladies, we don't want
to ever get out shovels and start digging, trying to figure out what's wrong with us, trying to get
to the root of the matter on our own. Okay, we want to really lean into, Lord, what do you need
to reveal in my heart and life for healing, help me to recognize what you're saying, and respond
to those things. And trust that his timing is perfect and everything that he reveals as you're
going on your journey. Okay. And then in all of that, give me understanding, you know, he can give
us understanding not only for his word, but to understand why certain things are being revealed,
and what they might be connected to. And we don't have to put any pressure on ourselves,
we don't have to let the enemy put pressure on us, because sometimes, even that will happen, like
people will be getting revealings for healing, and then all of a sudden, they're feeling stress and
pressure, because they can't figure out all the pieces and parts of that. Well, we don't have to,
that's where we can completely surrender and rely on the Lord to show us all things to show us all
the truth. Okay. All right, Katie, so hopefully that's helping you to remember that God's got
you, you don't have to do this alone, ladies, he's, he's gone before you, the Holy Spirit is
your comforter, your counselor, and your guide. He's your ever present help in times of trouble,
but also in times of like questioning, and wanting more knowledge and understanding and all of the
things. Alright, so I in a minute, I'm going to bring up the revealing for healing cycle.
If you've just started with us, it's okay, you won't know you're that's in week three.
But you're supposed to be here tonight. Okay, so everybody comes every single week, who is able to
come. And basically, I kind of pick from different weeks, and I coach on different stuff from
throughout the course, and also try to just coach you on and help you all go deeper in it. So just
if you're in week one, it's okay. So I don't want anyone to worry, if you're in week five, you're
still going to get a refresher. So hopefully, God is going to really bring more enlightenment
understanding. And most importantly, we want you to know that we don't view in this community,
the heartwork as just a five week, okay, I went through the heartwork, I'm done, we view it as a
process for your life. These are tools that you are learning in this journey right now that you
can apply, you know, well into the remainder of your life, you'll have been married almost,
like two and a half, a little over two and a half years now, I'm still using the tools that I
learned in heartwork in, you know, when I was engaged, when I'm married, when I went through
the situation with my family, you know, recently, my dad passed away and all the dynamics there and
all this stuff, right. And so I want you all to know, like, these are things that can help you
for a long time, if you want to apply them that way. Alright, so when I bring that chart up,
I'm gonna or that worksheet up, I'm going to show you kind of how to walk through it
with some of my own life. And I hope that it will help you all relate a little bit,
your story might be completely different, okay. And I want to preface it with this,
some of you all may have grown up in really healthy homes, okay. And that's amazing. But I
want you to keep a very open mind that even if you don't have trauma, like someone else,
that doesn't mean that there's not wounds or things that you experienced emotions that you have
lies that you've been believing that have been causing you to be stuck, okay. So don't feel like
when you hear other people's stories, well, you know, the enemy will often attack people that
have had good homes and be like, why are you you know, like theirs is so much worse than yours?
Why are you and try to make you feel like your emotions and feelings, like you shouldn't have
them for some reason. Okay, so I want you all to understand that every single one of you has
emotions and feelings. And part of what we're going to do tonight is we're going to talk about
how on our journey, a lot of the time, the enemy will try to, like get you to push your emotions
and feelings down through all different kinds of circumstances. So some of you, you start
hard work, and you're just kind of like numb, you're numb. So you're not feeling massive emotions
like some other people are. And then we have others who, man, they're just from day one,
they just tears and crying, or maybe you're somewhere in between. If you are numb by the
time you I think it's at the end of week two, or maybe week three, I can't remember when Jackie
says it, we do encourage you to go back and start over at the beginning of week one. Here's why.
Because if you come in very, and not because you're trying to be when I say this, but if we if
we come into a situation like this, heart healing, and we're
We're very calloused, we're very got walls up,
we're very kind of hardened, toughened to survive.
Well, it takes time for us to recognize even physiologically
that we are in a safe environment
and it's okay for us to be vulnerable.
Some of you it might take longer than others.
We have a lady, I don't know if she'll be on tonight or not
but she's been in for a while and guess what?
It's okay because her journey when she came in,
that's kind of been a part of her story.
You know, it's just taken a little while and that's okay.
So whatever your journey is and looks like,
I just want you to know, you know,
it's okay to give yourself permission to heal, okay?
All right, so as we look at the revealing
for healing cycle as well,
I wanna remind you that you can't replace events.
We can't go back and change what's happened
whether it's stuff we've done,
other people have done it to us,
whatever that dynamic looks like,
but what we can replace are the lies that we believe
as a result of those wounds and traumas, okay?
That's what we can replace.
So let me bring this up
and start to show you all what this looks like.
And again, you might've already seen it some of you
but this hopefully will help you unpack it
a little bit more,
understand how to apply it in your everyday life.
Can you all see that on the screen?
If you have a phone, it might be a little tougher
but that's probably as big as I could make it for tonight.
All right, so typically,
when we do the revealing for healing cycle,
we will encourage you,
tonight I'm gonna encourage you to start
with negative emotions that you feel.
For some of you,
because you haven't felt your emotions for a long time,
like I was just talking about,
you may have to start at a different place, okay?
So you might have to start with the trauma story, okay?
I know like, you know,
some of the traumas you've been through
and then identifying the lies you've believed,
you know, and then kind of work your way backwards
before you can work your way forwards.
Does that make sense, everyone?
All right.
All right, so we encourage you to start
with the pink circle, negative emotions.
I'm gonna, again, give you a kind of an example
through my own life
and hopefully this will help you start
to relate a little bit to your own life.
So emotion, like what negative emotions
are you currently feeling?
So some of you, even right now,
if stuff comes to your mind,
as I'm walking through this for yourself personally,
I would encourage you to go ahead
and write that stuff down, okay?
So a negative emotion
that I'm gonna give the example of tonight is fear.
Fear in general, but also fear of the dark
and fear around men.
Those were two really big fear drivers for me
growing up and over the years.
So my negative emotion was fear,
which also led to panic, dread,
like all the kind of stuff hung out together,
but those were things that I would feel
inside of myself on a regular basis.
Then I move on to the teal one, the painful memory.
And a lot of times people will be like,
well, what's the difference between a painful memory
and a trauma story?
So I'm gonna give you a little bit of an example.
The way that I like to explain it
is the painful memory is more of like the overarching,
you know, kind of bigger memory or thought process.
So for me, abused by men, okay?
My painful memory is I'm abused by men,
but my trauma stories are my detail parts of that, okay?
So for example, sexually abused by my brothers
when I was younger, emotional, mental, spiritual abuse,
pretty much every form of abuse with my ex-husband.
And then I have two stories
that were from when I was younger
that thankfully nothing happened in these situations.
Like I ended up being safe,
but they very much felt similar traumatic wise for me.
One was when I was in elementary school,
my mom took my sister and I to someone's house,
I think that she was an acquaintance or a friend with,
and they had all the kids go upstairs to play.
And we were up there and honestly,
I don't remember how old this boy was or anything like that.
But at one point, this boy that was there,
like locked me in this room with him,
like by putting this dresser in front of the door
so I couldn't get out.
And my sister was like trying to push the door open.
It was like all this like,
and I remember like being afraid of us getting in trouble.
I remember being afraid of like being shut in there with him
but my sister got through the door and she took me
and we went downstairs and literally that's all I remember.
But I just remember that fear of being locked in that room
with this boy.
And then in high school, someone that I considered a friend
but really showed herself many times
to not be a good friend.
But at this time we were supposedly friends hanging out.
There was a whole group of guys and girls
at this person's house.
house, and she decided she was going to shove something down my shirt, and she kind of pushed
me into the bathroom. Next thing I know, one of the guys that's there comes in. Well, she
gave him the assignment to retrieve the ball that she had put down my shirt, and they thought
it was some big game. Well, they had no clue what I had been through in my life. A, I don't
think that's a funny game anyways, but B, I was massively triggered. I was freaking
out. It was not a good situation, and so then I also had trauma because that was like
happening in front of people that I hung out with, you know? And so, just want y'all to
understand, again, the painful memory for me, the kind of overarching thing is, okay,
I am abused by men, but my trauma stories are the actual stories where I can start to
identify the trauma that happened that's connected to the other painful memories. Does that make
sense? All right. So, I'm going to keep moving. So, lies that I believed are revealed. A couple
lies that I believed, and there were more, you all, but I'm just going to give you two
examples tonight. All men are abusive. That was one lie I believed. I need to be afraid
of men was another lie that I believed, and so we never want you to stop just at that
lies believed are revealed or the trauma stories or, hey, this is my negative emotion. We don't
want you just to stop there. We want to ask God to help reveal these things for healing,
but we want to keep going through the cycle because what happens sometimes, too, is sometimes
some of us, we start to identify some of these things, and then we get stuck there because
we're afraid to process our trauma, okay? It's very real. I know it can be tough, but
remember that you're not alone in this process. God isn't going to leave you in the middle
of this and abandon you, and if that is a lie you believe, then I want to encourage
you to really ask the Lord to show you when was the first time you believed that lie and
really unpack that with him, but we want to go all the way through this whole cycle to
the green one where it says God reveals the truth. Well, how does he reveal the truth?
We ask, we look at the lie we've been believing, and then we ask God to show us the opposite
of that, okay? Typically, the way I like to do it is I like to form a declaration
statement that's the opposite of the lie I've believed, and then I like to have scripture
to support that. That's one of my favorite things to do. It helps me stand on the word,
but it also helps me have things that I can declare daily over myself, so one of the truths
that I have is you don't have to fear or be afraid. My scriptures, Isaiah 41.10, so do
not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and
help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41.13, for I am the Lord
your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear. I will help
you, and then also 2 Timothy, I think it's 1.7. I meant to look this up this afternoon.
It says I do not have a spirit, for we do not have a spirit of fear, but we have love
and have power and have a sound mind, because fear has to do with torment, ladies, remember?
So we want to understand God doesn't want us to walk in fear. He didn't design us and
create us with fear in us, okay? But he gave us the truth that we can stand on to overcome
all of that. The second truth to replace the lie, I can trust God to protect me. I, Bethany,
can trust God to protect me. Psalm 121, verse 7 through 8, the Lord will keep you from all
harm. He will watch over your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and your going,
both now and forevermore. All right, now I want to see everyone why I say this next part.
So what I hear sometimes, and I know that it can be tough, well, if I can trust God
to protect me, then why did he not protect me when I was abused or, you know, someone
betrayed me or whatever the dynamic is that we have gone through? And here is the answer
to that, ladies. He gives everyone free will. Everyone has a choice. Every single day, I
have a choice if I'm going to choose healthy or unhealthy. Am I going to go down a good
path or an unhealthy path? You know, and everyone else has that same choice as well. All right?
If he superseded that, then he would literally, like, everything would change and the whole
of creation. Just like when we choose Jesus as our Savior, you all, Jesus didn't force
his way in. You chose. Hopefully you did. If you were strong-armed into believing, you
know, then that's different. But for most of us, we chose to accept Jesus as our Lord
and Savior and what? Invite him into our hearts and our lives, right? Same thing.
Okay, so we all have free will we're all given the ability to choose. Unfortunately, some people choose really unhealthy evil things
Right, but just like God forgave me. I
Also can forgive other people. Okay, and we'll talk about forgiveness in another week more in depth
But I just want y'all to know we can trust God to protect us. I believe that even in those situations without
Understanding it fully there were times when I can look back where God did help like, you know
parent come home earlier than they were supposed to and all these different things like God was
Was doing things to try to help me in those situations
So I want you all to understand that there are things that I can see now that I couldn't see way back
Years ago the more I heal the more I see the truth. Okay. All right
So here's breakout question number one, all right
What is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your life tonight that you that he's revealing for healing?
It could be if you don't have a negative emotion or memory
You can talk about a lie if there's a lie that God's been revealing to you this week. Just go with that
I want y'all to know wherever you're at tonight as you go in this breakout
I don't want you to worry about having to have an answers for some of you
Maybe nothing's coming up right now. And if that's the case, it's okay. Just go in and just say, you know
And I'm just still kind of processing even what she was was sharing. But these are some thoughts that came to mind
You know just go with whatever is
Coming up, but if you can answer that question
What is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight for revealing for healing?
I would love for you to do that. All right, let me get these breakout rooms set up
All right
I'm gonna do eight minutes on this first one. I have about three people almost in every room
want to encourage you all to
Remember, especially on a night like tonight. You don't have to fix each other
You don't have to coach each other advise each other. This is this is a tool. I'm going to give you and
Go ahead and listen to your sisters as they share. Remember ladies keep it short brief and powerful
So everyone has time to go and then if you have extra time at the end just get to know each other
But when your sister shares
Even if they someone cries in your room or anything like that, don't feel like you got to fix them
Just say thank you so much. I'm gonna use hope
Thank you
Hope so much for sharing that with us tonight and trusting us with your story and then the next person can go on and go
Okay. All right
so that's how you can kind of
Get out of feeling like you have to help that person not feel what they feel because tonight remember we're practicing
Acknowledging our emotions and our feelings so we don't want to worry about trying to fix that. Okay in someone. All right. Awesome
Here you go. Go ahead and click to join those rooms. I'm gonna be praying for you all
You are you having a hard time getting in the room
All right, we got
Give me one sec ladies and I'll start praying. I just want to make sure nobody's sitting in a room by themselves. I found one
You
Okay, father, thank you so much. Hi Sylvia. Did you did you just join us or did you get kicked out?
They kicked you out, let me see what room you were and oh
I see I'm six. I don't know. I wonder why that happened. All right, here we go. Let's see if that works
You're welcome
All right father, we just thank you so much for tonight we thank you God for the revealings for healing that are already happening
God we thank you that
Yeah, we're the strong man has really taken hold of some of these ladies in their lives and their families God
We thank you that you are bringing down the strong man tonight as your word declares
And we thank you that you're gonna come in and and not only clean the house out
But you're gonna fill the house with your presence. So Holy Spirit
We just ask you to come and fill this place fill every woman with a refreshing of your Holy Spirit to overflowing
God that they would have a divine encounter with you. Not only tonight, but in the week ahead God. We thank you that
Your love is great for us. And even as we were reading earlier God. We're we're thankful for
Sorry, someone's in a room now again by themselves
We're thankful for your power and your presence that's at work even when we can't see it God
We know your word declares that you're working. We thank you Jesus that you're sitting at the right hand
The father right now interceding for every one of these ladies by name, you're interceding
for Kristen and Kimberly, Michelle, Rhea, Glenna, Joanne, Karen Roa, Felicia, Karen
Rios, Vern, Joy, Rosie, Sarah from SoCal, Juanita, Mika, Sue K., Anna Smith, Hope, Sylvia,
Erin, Jennifer G., Katie Chester, the woman that has the 817 number, Amanda, Mikal, Alicia,
Laura, Ruth, Candy, Kim, and Maria, and everyone else who is on the replay when they watch
it live.
We know that you call us by name and that the hairs on our head are all numbered.
So we thank you that you would just come in again and just love on these ladies and help
them to hear what your spirit is saying to them louder than any voice of the enemy.
Even if they feel nervous or fearful while they're on this session, God, we thank you
that you would just say to their spirit, peace, be still, that you would calm the raging storm
inside of them and help them to hear what your spirit is saying.
Rhea, did you get kicked out?
Oh.
All right, I'm going to keep going.
So Laura, we just thank you for that.
We thank you, God, that you would just remind us, Lord, of more of your truth, that you
would help us to hear.
And even as your word declares that we would ask, seek, and knock, and keep on asking,
seeking, and knocking for your truth, for your revelation, Psalm 139, 17 through 18
says this,
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!
They cannot be numbered.
I can't even count them.
They outnumber the grains of sand.
And when I wake up, you are still with me.
So Lord, I thank you that you're having all kinds of good thoughts about all of us tonight,
that even as your daughters are gathered, that you're smiling over us.
I believe that you're also, it makes me think of Zephaniah 3, 17, that it talks a little
bit about him dancing over us.
God celebrates over us, ladies.
And I pray that you would understand that and receive that more and more in the days
to come, that you would enable and open your hearts to the Lord in such a way that you
would be able to hear his perspective of you in every situation and dynamic, and that his
voice would replace the lies of the enemy that came through other people to harm you
in any way.
Isaiah 43, 19, excuse me, says this, be alert, be present.
Oh, Rhea, do you need me to put you in there again?
I think you might maybe have a second phone line or something.
I'm going to send that to you so you can click on it.
All right.
Isaiah 43, 19 in the message version says this, be alert, be present.
I'm about to do something brand new.
It's bursting out.
Don't you see it?
There it is.
I'm making a road through the desert and rivers in the badlands.
I'm sorry, ladies.
I'm going to be right back.
The same lady is having a hard time, so I'll be right back.
I'm going to be right back.
The same lady is having a hard time, so I'll be right back.
I'm going to be right back.
The same lady is having a hard time, so I'll be right back.
you
Bethany you
have muted
you
spirit. So if she's struggling to like, you know, wants to achieve something right away,
you
and if she doesn't achieve it right away, she's feeling that frustration or that anxiety with
herself. So what I would encourage any of you, it's joy right now, to do is say, okay, Lord,
like, what situation in my life happened that caused me to feel this lack of patience with
myself? Okay, and see what the Lord would start to reveal. And sometimes it might take a little
bit of time, other times it might come up right away. And sometimes you all it's not even the
story that comes up, but you might have like a thought or an image come to your mind. And as
you pray into that, you'll start to have other stuff kind of come together and you'll start to
get clarity on what is this connecting to in my life. So joy, thank you for sharing. I pray that
God would give you grace, fresh grace to have patience with yourself. And to see and understand
the level of patience that God the Father and Jesus have with you in the Holy Spirit.
He's a very patient and kind God you all yes, he does bring conviction and correction to for us,
because he loves us, but he is a patient and kind God. And so we can lean into that
and ask him for greater revelation on that. Because the more that we understand the patience
of the Father, the more we should be able to have patience with ourselves,
as we receive more of his love as well. So definitely pray into that a little bit more
and see what else he might reveal to you through that. Thank you again for sharing. Maria, go ahead.
Sorry, I couldn't. It was interesting that in my room, the three of us share something very
similar. And it's just like the lie that we kind of express our needs and the needs of other people
come before our own needs. So I was just sharing how in my own relationship with my mom, and I'm
the oldest of three kids, and I am the only girl too. So my mom always had very high expectations
of me. And even though Colombian children, we are very straightforward. That is not well seen
when you do it against your parents. We don't have the right to express some kind of discomfort.
It will be seen as talking back to your parents, and that's not correct. And I repeated the same
pattern in my only last relationship. And when I started finally being vocal about my needs and
everything, that's when my ex-boyfriend and I started having troubles. But at the same time,
my mom too. So when I started expressing my emotions and what I needed, what I wanted,
so my mom started taking things personally, and she just took it all as an attack.
And it was so hard because, of course, we do care a lot about our parents and
about what they think, but that just like fell into the lie that, you see, this is what happens
when you express what you need. This is what happens when you disagree. Like you don't have
even, I said that, even the right to disagree. And that leads me to sadness and just like
isolation and yeah. Yeah. Okay. So typically in this kind of situation, thank you for sharing, Maria.
We also tend to think the same thing with the Lord. Like this is what happens when I express
my needs or my feelings to the Lord, even if we're subconsciously doing it. Because if we're trying
to do that with other people and we never feel like they are willing really to hear what we're
saying, but they, I know you mentioned she took it personally, like it turns it around instead of us
just getting to express something, they are making it about themselves. That can be a very,
and again, I know that, you know, people mean well sometimes, but without realizing it,
sometimes that's how people will avoid having to change. You know, especially if someone's
unhealthy, they may do other things. You know, in our day and age now, you know, a lot of people
are talking about gaslighting and all this stuff. And I know that that is real. But here's the thing,
ladies, we don't want to give that too much emphasis. Okay. The reality is, is people that
are hurt do hurtful things.
It doesn't make it okay, but I also want to make sure that when those bigger things aren't
happening that we're not thinking it's something there.
But I am saying that, bringing that up because there are times when someone will try to set
a healthy boundary or they will try to express their emotions.
And in order to maintain control over that person, the other person, if they are unhealthy,
will turn it around and sometimes they might step into some of that kind of unhealthier
levels of, you know, the gaslighting, kind of trying to create confusion, causing that
person to doubt themselves, all that kind of stuff, manipulation.
And so just be aware ladies of that.
Now I would never tell any of you to not have relationship with your family or your parents,
but I do want you to consider when we allow unhealthy dynamics to continue, it's just
not going to go away, okay?
At some point, we have to choose to be healthy.
And also if we feel the other person is healthy enough to have a conversation, say to them,
Hey, when this happens, when you say this to me, I feel this way, okay?
So you're owning your feelings.
They're not making you anything, okay?
But you're letting them know, Hey, when you do or say this, this is how I'm feeling when
that's happening.
If they're a safe person, they should say something like, I'm really sorry that I caused
you to feel that way.
I would never want you to feel that way.
They're going to apologize, okay?
If they are slightly, maybe they're trying to be healthy, but there may be a little bit
not unhealthy, they might not right away apologize.
They might be trying to figure out how to navigate that and they might have feelings
where they're feeling rejected or all this stuff instead of just listening.
But someone that's super unhealthy isn't even going to let you have your feelings and they're
going to try to dominate and take control, okay?
So I just want to kind of help you all see, and that was very like not the best explanation,
but I just wanted you to see the different ways that some people are going to react.
Like the bad is a reaction, respond is loving, you know, apologizing, asking for forgiveness,
trying to be teachable and correcting our unhealthy behaviors.
And we're not doing it hopefully short-term because hopefully we're having heart change
on the inside that's causing a long-term change.
Does that make sense, everyone?
Okay.
All right.
So Maria, on yours, the other thing I wanted to say is the repeated pattern, I'm curious,
what was the dynamic like with your dad?
Was it similar as it was with your mom?
No, it wasn't like that.
My dad, I mean, they divorced when I was in my 20s and it was very painful for me because
I was the one who discovered his affair.
But growing up, I do remember he was a very loving dad, even my brothers would say that
I was the apple of his eye.
And he, yeah, I remember having actually a very, like, if I think of him, he was a good
child of a father, though.
You know, it was, even though he wasn't like fully like a hundred percent present because
he was working all the time, but he was sweet with me.
Okay.
All right.
So it does sound like maybe this stems from mom and the struggle to set boundaries and
there might be some other stuff there, but I would encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal
like when is the first time, Lord, when's the first time I, Maria, denied my own feelings
and needs to meet the needs of someone else?
Because you want to know when the first time was that you did that.
Okay.
So again, this might be where the Lord shows you one memory and then you process that,
and then God might start to reveal other things to you as well.
Does that make sense for everyone?
So you just process as you go.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I feel like someone else had their hand up, but I don't know if you still want to go or
if you've just changed your mind.
Was there someone else that wanted to share?
I did have my hand up.
Okay, Anna, go ahead.
And then Katie, I saw you, so we'll come to you next, okay?
So...
I...
I guess similar to what you were saying in the beginning
Okay.
about God being your protector
and if situations happen to you,
how it, I guess those experiences
are contrary to that thought, right?
So God, you were supposed to protect me,
but you didn't in this instance.
And then on top of that, there's this,
well, if he didn't protect me, I can't trust God.
So that's something that I often struggle with.
I mean, it can be combined,
like those can be compounded thoughts
or it can be, they can be separate thoughts.
But I guess at the root of it,
it is an issue in trusting God.
Yeah, at the core, that's what it was for me.
I had to go all the way back to my inability to trust him
because of what happened.
And that's where I had to really look at it
very theologically, you know,
and what I said to you all and understanding that,
you know, God gives everybody free will
and, you know, because he loves us.
And unfortunately, some people do stuff
with that free will that's not good.
But in all of that, God uses, if we're willing,
he works all of that pain together for purpose.
It wasn't him that did that to us, okay?
And, you know, I think the other thing that comes to mind,
and I don't know if this will resonate for you,
but one of the things for me was,
what is it called?
I gotta think of how to,
when we are projecting emotions and feelings
that we have towards a person
and we're not putting it on them,
even though the situation happened with them,
we're projecting it onto someone else or something else.
And a lot of times we might project onto God
actually feelings that we have towards parents
or other people that were supposed to protect us
and didn't, you know,
because we don't know who,
like we have to live with them every day.
And it's just too painful in that moment,
at least for me, it was more painful for me to think,
like even when my mom found out,
when I told her when I was a teenager,
she still didn't protect me.
That was hard.
And so in that framework,
I sometimes it was easier for me
to kind of just be mad at God.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
Yeah.
Let's see, what can you say?
Did you say that in our prayer, we should ask God,
when was the first time I felt hurt and have,
yeah, I mean, you guys can ask God,
when is the first time I felt, you know,
believed this lie or like the example I was giving
was Maria was saying met other people's needs
before my own or yes,
when is the first time I believed this lie
or had this negative emotion
and Lord, what was it connected to?
But I didn't mean to jump away from Anna,
but I just wanna,
I didn't know if that was about what we were talking about.
So Anna, thank you for sharing about that.
I wanna encourage you just to pray into that
a little bit more.
And while we, it sounds like you probably know
where that struggle with trust has come out of,
I still wanna encourage you to pray and ask the Lord,
like, when is the first time I did not trust you, Lord?
Okay.
And start there because I think the trust
is really the root underneath of some other things
and see what he reveals to you.
And ladies, anytime, if we're doing coaching
or even if you're not someone that shares openly
in the group and you need a little bit more help
unpacking some things that God is revealing to you,
you can always post in the group.
Y'all, that's what we're there for.
And this group and this time,
this is the best time to ask these questions.
I mean, you can always ask them later on
as you go through the course, but hey, do it now
because we want you to get as much breakthrough
as you can get while you're here.
But we'll be praying for you about that, Anna,
and really asking God to comfort you
in those areas as well.
Okay, Katie, go ahead.
I had just said, I didn't have a horrible childhood.
I had some alcoholic parents,
but I did have a sister that was kind of rough.
And in that, my parents often ignored me
and kind of went with, dealt with her.
And so it just always made me feel unworthy,
unlovable, unimportant.
And then as I grew up, I chose relationships
where I was that same unworthy, unimportant person.
And I would repeatedly kind of go back to relationships
where I felt those ways,
because it was some sort of a comfort, I guess,
because that's how I grew up.
But it was just, it's just been a very...
difficult path, trying to find my worth in God and not in other people, and then choosing people
who find worth, I guess, in me, not necessarily who need something out of me, but that I can
pour into too, like it's a back and forth relationship. Yes, 100%. And so one of the
questions I do have for you, Kadeena, it doesn't mean that I, when I ask you this question, I
believe you that you had a good childhood, but you mentioned you had parents that struggled
with alcoholism, correct? Did I hear you correctly? Yes. Okay. So what did that look like for you
growing up? Like- Dad would disappear for days and we weren't allowed to talk about it. Like,
it was not allowed. My dad passed away about a year ago. My parents divorced when I was a
teenager, but my mom still to this day will say, well, you know, we weren't allowed to talk about
it. And I have finally recently been like, but you could have, you could have talked to us about
it. It was, I have a sister that's just a couple of years older than me. And then my oldest sister
wasn't in the house, but I said, you could have absolutely been like, Hey, I know this is
uncomfortable. I know that, you know, dad disappears, whatever, but you chose not to. And so
they were there, but not emotionally there. Mom always blamed a lot of stuff on dad,
didn't really take responsibility for herself and her actions in it, but she was also just
trying to survive. So I'm not trying to make excuses for her. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's
okay. Dealing with my mom, my dad was kind of trying to survive too. Like I didn't see her
that way till recently, but yeah. And just so you all know, I try to remind you anytime I ask you
all questions, um, in anytime I've ever done heartwork, it is okay for you all to say what
really happened in your homes. Okay. Just know you're even with my parents, they're both deceased.
I'm not doing, I'm not trying to do dishonor to either one of them, but my story can help people.
And so, um, it is real what I went through, right. And I felt things because my dad was an alcoholic
and, um, you know, would come home drunk and I had very little memories and he was gone a lot.
Um, and so I had a lot of abandonment as a child. Um, and again, Katie, I'm not saying this is the
same for you, but the reason I asked you the question I did is because even if we have
parents that are there, if they are struggling with an addiction of some kind, um, whether we
realize it or not, as children, we are thinking things as that's all happening when dad left for
multiple days and you all weren't allowed to talk about it. There's things that you were experiencing
as a child and thinking and feeling that are important for you to know. Okay. And so, um,
if you've never prayed into that, I want to encourage you to pray into that. It might be hard
and it would be hard in general, but especially since your dad passed away a year ago. And, and,
and so, um, I just want to encourage you that if you feel that like, Oh, is this okay? Like,
I don't want to disrespect my dad. You're not, you're loving yourself really well by processing
anything that might have caused you pain as a child. Okay. So I want all of you all to think
through and look at it through that lens. Like I'm, I'm just choosing to love myself enough
to look at things that were hard for me or that I felt sad about, or what I'm not trying to tell
you all how you felt, but like whatever your feelings were when those things happened,
you know, and then you mentioned your sister, you know, and those tough things. And,
and so I want to encourage you to ask yourself regarding your sister, cause it seems like maybe,
um, I think the unimportant probably came before the stuff with your sister,
but, um, I want you to pray into that. Okay. I think the seeds were sown when you were younger.
Um, but pray into that regarding your sister and just ask the Lord to reveal the first time,
you know, you felt unimportant or unseen, unworthy of attention or time or whatever that dynamic was.
Um, and as he reveals that situation, you know, really ask him to come in and help,
you know, you forgive your sister, you know? Yeah. I feel that in the spirit that you would
forgive her for being bad. I don't know if you ever, if that's something you used to think a lot,
or if your parents used to say that a lot, I don't use bad and good very often. I typically say
healthy, unhealthy. Um, but a lot of other people will say they're bad. They're a bad person. Now,
I do think that people are corrupted with evil. Okay. And they make unhealthy choices, but
that's where sin comes in. Right. Um, but
we need to remember that just like Jesus Christ forgave us,
we also are commanded to forgive.
And if we don't forgive and we harbor bitterness
or resentment, ladies, it can wreak havoc in our soul
and our spirit and hold us back
in ways we don't even realize.
And so I believe that as you heal from some of those things,
I think you're gonna show up in the world
a whole different way,
including relationships with friends
and romantic people and all the things.
But yeah, is there something else?
Is there anything coming up as I'm sharing
that you feel led to share?
Abandonment.
I mean, I don't forgive my sister
because it wasn't just stuff that happened during childhood.
It was as it got old, as we got older too.
And I've had to pull away from her in the last year,
especially just the very unhealthy attacks
and stuff that happened.
Like I'm almost 40 years old, she's older than I am.
We're not, we shouldn't be attacking each other.
But yeah, like you're right.
I mean, dad not being there, I was dad's favorite by far.
And so for him not to be there and not to know where he was
and it was very unhealthy, my dynamic with him.
Like I remember as a child calling around
to different bars trying to find him
and I could figure out who was lying
and I would know which bar he was at.
And I would ride my bike to the bar
and put my bike in the back of his car
and I would drive him home at not old enough to be driving.
And as I got older, I kind of was that caretaker
more so than I should have been.
And so it's very hurtful to think that I had done so much
that was not my job.
And my mom allowed me to do those things.
Like she should have stopped me.
So there was a lack of protection from both parents.
Yeah, yeah.
And I really appreciate your transparency
because some of the other things here, ladies,
and when I say this,
I don't think anything negative about your parents.
People that are broken do broken things, okay?
But I think it's important to pull out
the word neglect here as well, okay?
Because when we experience neglect
when we're children and abandonment, those are deep.
They're pretty deep in there.
And in our psyche, if you will.
And so I believe the Lord led you to share tonight
to help you kind of understand
that it's really important for you to heal
and let God love you in those abandonment areas,
the neglect, and really show you his heart for you
in those nights that you were trying to find your dad.
I think there's a lot that God's wanting to heal there.
I just keep feeling the Holy Spirit
as I'm talking to you about it.
And then regarding your sister, don't feel like when,
ladies, and I hope everybody knows this,
when we choose to forgive people,
if they're very unhealthy,
that does not mean we have to give them access
back to our lives, okay?
I loved my dad, but my dad was a very unhealthy person.
And so I just could not interact with him.
Every time it turned into an argument,
there was just a lot of stuff.
And so there was just decisions I had to make
for my own health and to move my life forward.
And so I want y'all to know,
I'm not saying you have to have a close interaction
with these people unless God is leading you to, okay?
Because sometimes he might lead you to do that.
Sometimes it's unavoidable
because some of you are taking care of elderly parents
and things like that.
But what I am saying is that forgiveness is key, okay?
For your freedom as well as theirs.
Because when we don't forgive,
we actually are binding ourselves to those people
and to those situations, okay?
And we'll talk, like I said,
we'll talk about that more in our forgiveness week,
but I did feel like that was coming up a little bit in that.
So I wanna just plant those seeds
so y'all can pray into them.
And the last thing I'll say is,
I think Katie, the way you said it
is I can't forgive my sister.
And so I wanna encourage you to come out of agreement
with that lie, because you can forgive.
Because I believe that you are a kind and forgiving person,
that walks in the fruits of the spirit.
And I think that's what led you here.
But you're just struggling right now to forgive,
to choose, okay?
Because when we say we can't do something, ladies,
we're actually like saying we don't have power.
We don't have the ability.
But God says he gives us the power,
he gave us the Holy Spirit.
Spirit to empower us. So even if I feel like I can't because it hurts so bad what they
did or said, the Holy Spirit empowers me to do so. And I can rely on Him and believe and
trust that when I forgive that He's going to show up and He's going to work in my life
as well as theirs in ways I can't even comprehend. Now, maybe it's not an overnight turnaround
in that situation of those people. And maybe I can't come back close to them, but praise
the Lord He'll work in that and do things which I can't even comprehend sometimes. Right?
So we just have to be really careful that we don't partner with can't, won't, you know,
those kind of statements. The enemy loves to get us there in those places, because then
then guess what, we get stuck. And he wants us to be stuck. He doesn't want you to move
forward. So all right. All right, everybody kind of shake it off. I know that can get
kind of heavy. Seriously, I don't know about you all, but sometimes you just gotta, you
just gotta move because we're doing some deep work tonight. This is tough stuff we're talking
about and leaning into. I'm going to start talking about the heart is a womb. W-O-M-B.
So just like a baby grows in a womb, everything that you're putting into your body is impacting
that baby as it's growing in the womb. The same thing is like if you can imagine that's
what our heart is like. Our heart is also like, you know, a garden. If you're wanting
to plant something and you want that stuff to grow, well, you typically, I was telling
everybody I bought these seeds. I want to plant these wildflowers because I want to
attract butterflies to my, my house. I want them all over you. I love butterflies. And
so I was looking at the packet of seeds over the weekend. And, uh, you know, there's a
part of me that just doesn't want to do any work. And I just want to go scatter the seeds
and it, I'd probably get a couple that would pop up. I probably would, but I really want
them to, to be good. And so I was reading and it says, you know, you got to till the
ground, you got to prepare the soil. And then once the soil is prepared, then you sow the
seed and then you add more good soil on top and then you water and all the things. The
reason I'm mentioning that is because the soil matters. Okay. The soil in your heart
matters. Everything that you allow to go into your heart, everything in your mind and heart,
the soul, all of that, whatever goes in is going to get reproduced. It's going to come
out at some point when you all are going through hard situations, a lot of pressure,
guess what? When that pressure is applied, if you've got rage and anger and all this
stuff coming out, well, guess what? That's in there. It's inside. So we got to look at
that. Why am I angry? Why am I getting so mad so fast? Why am I losing my temper or
whatever? Maybe it's other things. Maybe it's like internal tantrums. You know,
someone's just trying to have a conversation with you and you're just like triggered and
you like leave and jet out of the room. Well, why? We need to pause and look at that.
Like, why are we running from a situation? What's triggering us? What's causing us to
be in that place? Okay. So I want you to think about what are you currently planting
into your hearts in this season right now? What, what are you like? What are some things
that you're allowing to be planted in your heart? What are you listening to? You know,
on TV, on the news, um, like shows that you're watching people that you're listening to
friends that you're around, you know, all of this stuff, maybe even sometimes family
y'all here's truth. Sometimes our family, they say some stuff that, man, we're just
like, okay. Yeah. And we agree with it until one day God shows us like, Hey, wait, no.
Like that's not healthy. The way they're, they're thinking about men or talking about
men or talking about money. Like I have more for you. And then he's disrupting in a good
way. What we've heard our whole lives. And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh, well,
I didn't know. I didn't know there was a different way to look at this or think about this. And
what do you mean? All men don't cheat. Even though we know we see some men that don't
cheat, but deep down in our subconscious, because mom or dad went through an affair
and then maybe we even experienced someone cheating on us or something or a friend or
something. Then we're like, wait a minute, all men are cheaters. And then we start to
partner with that lie and it's not truth, right? So we're allowing that kind of stuff
to get planted in our hearts. And again, it's not something we're doing intentionally ladies.
It's happening because we have brokenness in our own soul that needs healed. That's
causing us to partner with stuff. That's not true. Okay. So we want to think about what
we're planning in our hearts. We want to think about
The type of fruit that we're producing,
are you producing joy, kindness, goodness,
peace, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, love?
Are you producing those fruits?
Or is the fruit of your life
telling a different story right now?
Maybe it is addiction.
Maybe it is anger.
Maybe it is hatred towards yourself for others.
Even if you never voice it, you feel it.
You think it.
Maybe it is gossip and slander,
putting other people down to make yourself feel better.
I don't know what your dynamics are,
but we wanna look at what are we producing
out of our soul, out of our lives, out of our body.
Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
So some of you don't say it, but you think it.
And some of you are saying a lot of negative things
because you've partnered with negative things
and mindsets for a really long time.
And so we wanna continue to come out of alignment
with all of those things.
Okay, I'm gonna go into something real quick in the book,
in the heart work book.
Again, if y'all ever hear me,
if I forget to say the heart work book,
I'm always gonna,
it's always from the heart work book when I read.
Okay, I'm gonna talk about the word good for a minute.
And this is in the heart work book.
The word good is a funny word
because its meaning to most people is relative.
What I believe is good may not be what you believe is good
based on our different preferences and experience.
For instance, I recently saw a documentary
about women in Africa who made cookies out of the dirt.
The main ingredient in these cookies is clay.
And they look a lot like
and have the texture of dried mud or pottery.
People come from all over to buy these cookies
because food is scarce and they are filling.
While I was watching it, I was thinking,
these people are literally eating dirt.
I thought about how they would probably love a happy meal
from McDonald's and a Coke.
But other people, myself included,
think McDonald's is junk food.
I love a restaurant called Brio
and I think it's fancy food,
but someone else who's used to living the high life
might think what I love is on the same level
as a dirt cookie.
Okay, jumping down.
When God uses the word good,
he isn't talking about our human standard of good.
He is referring to his standard of good.
So maybe you do have a little something
working out right now,
but is it God's version of good yet in your life?
Probably not, and that's why we are here.
We want more.
Most of us have a tendency to live in crisis mode,
only focusing on the areas that are a complete train wreck
and not realizing there's an upgrade available
in every area of our life
if we are willing to be shown what we cannot see yet.
Do you want an upgrade?
You have to be willing to see what you don't see yet.
So one of the things that's really important,
and I think I mentioned it a little bit earlier
in our session,
or I mentioned it this afternoon in the session,
I can't remember,
but we have to really be willing
to own our side of the street.
So after I got divorced,
I got into a relationship with my spiritual daughter's dad.
I was with him for six years,
and the reality is that relationship was really bad.
It was the worst relationship I had been in
out of all of them,
and a lot of betrayal, a lot of cheating,
and a lot of things happening,
a lot of struggles.
He struggles.
He still struggles with narcissistic tendencies
and sociopathic behaviors.
Y'all, I don't call him.
I don't say anymore, they're a narcissist,
they're a this, a that.
You know why?
Because I learned from Jackie,
and it's super important.
If we label people,
we're saying that that is all they're ever going to be.
I don't want someone to label me,
and so I'm not gonna label anybody else.
So we separate their behavior from their identity, okay?
And I know I have pushback from people all the time.
Well, a psychiatrist has labeled them
and said they are a narcissist.
Okay, I get it,
but we're talking about spiritual things here.
You gotta look at it spiritually.
And so I wanna encourage you to separate
your claim on someone else
and the way that you're speaking about them,
separate their behavior from their identity.
They struggle with this, whatever it is.
Just like I struggled with anxiety.
I didn't wanna be labeled as an anxious person, okay?
All right, so let's extend grace to people in that.
But the reason I mentioned that
is I chose to be in that relationship with him, you all,
and God was warning me.
And I heard him warning me, but I, I was having a hard time fully understanding, like, if
it meant I couldn't date him at all, like all these little things.
And before I knew it, you know, I was so far into that relationship and in love with those
little girls that I found myself like, I can't leave them.
And I wanted it to work.
I was always waiting for the guy that love bombing guy, um, to come back for two weeks.
He was like, amazing y'all while I was waiting for that guy to come back and he never did.
Darn it.
But no, not darn it.
Cause guess what?
I'm living a great life now.
And that was not the relationship God had for me.
I begged for God to have him ask me to marry him.
I did all the time.
Y'all know, God loved me so much that he said no to that.
And it's a good thing that sometimes he says no to things.
You might not see it yet, but one day you will.
And so I want to encourage you to really be asking God, where do you need to own your
side of the street and some of the things that have happened in your life on that note,
I want you to also be asking the Lord to reveal any blind spots, blind spots you might have
that keep you from seeing yourself, you know, in the areas where you do need to change.
I went to a counselor and she asked me why I wanted to go to her.
And I said, well, here's the thing.
I was married before and that guy ended up abusing me in every way I can imagine.
And then I dated another guy and he was an alcoholic and cheated on me.
And then I dated the girl's dad and he did the same thing.
So there's a common denominator here and it's me.
I needed to learn why I was attracting those people and there was some more healing.
And so I went to that counselor for a while and that was long before I came into this
community.
And so I'm saying that to y'all tonight because back in the day I had some blind spots and
some counterfeit identities that I was living into that I didn't even know I was living
into anymore.
You all, okay.
I was serving the Lord all the time.
I loved the Lord and I really had the best understanding I could have of Him at that
time.
But man, since then I've just grown in my understanding of Him so much more.
And I hope that that just keeps growing and changing me from the inside out.
And so I believe the same for all of you as well.
So I'm saying all that to tell you this, who knows what a squatter is?
Anyone know what a squatter is?
All right.
Katie, I see some hands.
People saying, yep, I know what a squatter is.
Yep.
All right.
So our heart is considered a house a lot of times prophetically, okay?
So what I want you to be considering is your house has some squatters in it.
Some people that came in, the people represent lies that came in and they took up residence
in your house and they've been like camping out there thinking that they own the house.
But it's time for you to evict them.
It's time for you to kick them out of the house, your heart and say, you do not belong
here and I am not going to partner with you any more.
So whatever those lies are for you tonight, that's what we're going to talk about in breakout
session number two.
What squatters do you have in your heart that you need to evict tonight?
Maybe your squatter is that you believe all men are liars.
I don't know.
Maybe your squatter is that, you know, you can never step into the promises that God
has for you like marriage.
I don't know, but I believe that you all know at least one.
So that's what we're going to have you talk about in this next breakout session.
I'm going to have you in there for four minutes.
So this one's going to be quick.
We're going to recreate these rooms really fast.
Oh, can you repeat the question?
I'm sorry.
I had to run and get a charger.
Yeah, it's totally fine.
We are talking about what squatters so the squatters represent lies in your heart.
Do you need to evict tonight?
All right, so we're gonna do four minutes.
There we go.
Go ahead and click to join those ladies.
So you have four minutes.
Be brief and powerful.
Just gotta make sure we get everyone.
Juanita, are you able to join a room?
I'm not sure.
If not, I need to move somewhere.
one. Oh, that's okay. I might just have to move both of you
all around. That's totally fine.
All right, I think we've got everyone situated. Father, thank
you so much again for your goodness. Thanks for your truth.
Lord, we ask you to go into the dark places in the into the
recesses of our soul and illuminate every dark place. God
we ask you to bring truth we ask you to bring life, resurrection
power, just like the dry bones, the story where Ezekiel was told
to speak to the dry bones and God that the bones would begin
that the bones would begin to come together. And then he
prophesied that life would come into them and spirit would come
into them and the bones begin to rattle and move and come
together. Lord, we just we declare that the dead places in
our hearts in our lives, God that you would breathe into
them. And those areas that you desire to come to life, God, we
thank you that you would help them to fully come to life that
we would awaken to your voice Lord in every area. Lord, I
thank you that it's a new day, a new day is dawning. And it's our
time. I thank you God that you've brought us here. Again,
for such a time as this, I thank you that you are leading us into
new places and spaces in the days ahead. I'm going to read
Isaiah 60 over you. Verses one through five. It says this arise
shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises
upon you see darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over
the people's but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears
over you. Nations will come to your light and kings to the
brightness of your dawn. Lift up your eyes and look about you all
assemble and come to you your sons come from afar and your
daughters are carried on the hip. Then you will look and be
radiant and your heart will thrive and swell with joy. The
wealth on the seas will be brought to you to you the riches
of the nations will come where we just thank you that we would
arise and shine and this day and time God we thank you that any
area where we have felt unworthy unloved that we felt
undervalued where we've been abandoned or rejected in any way
God thank you for helping us to become more secure in you every
day Lord that we would hear what your spirit is saying God that
we would recognize and respond to your voice and I thank you
Lord that we would lay aside every weight that so easily and
snares us that we would press on to the high calling of God for
our lives and Lord that we would never look back that we would
never look back and fear that we have missed out on anything God
I thank you that you're the Redeemer of time God that
anything where we feel like man I wasted all those years on that
person or that job or that situation God I thank you that
you're coming even into those situations and you're redeeming
our timeline God I thank you that you're doing the
supernatural work in us and through us I thank you that as
Proverbs 1821 says death and life are in the power of the
tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit so Lord I
thank you that you'll help us to declare your truth and your
goodness over our lives over our families over the promises that
you have given to us Lord over our spirit mates that we would
pray I have my spirit made but I encourage all of you ladies to
pray for your spirit mates long before they come to ask God to
show you what he might want you to pray and intercede for your
spirit mates so that you can be a blessing to them long before
they come and I promise you will not regret it you will not
regret it when you pray for them intercede for them we have some
people that keep journals of prayers that they've written for
their spirit mates and give it to them on the wedding day or
things like that and so really lean into asking the Lord what
he might have you do to invest in your spirit mate before they
come and not that you would get so caught up with that but it's
okay for you to pray a prayer in a journal and just release that
and keep that for them to give to them at some other time we
have everybody's almost going to be back with us here in a
minute. Those breakout rooms are about to close. Yeah, there we
go. Hello, welcome back. Alright, so just one other thing
I almost forgot to tell you this. Andrea, one of our peer
coaches in training shared it this afternoon and I in it
reminded me that I wanted to share this tonight as well as I
look
at the note of what she said. She used to believe the lie that God was a trickster
and he could not be trusted. It wasn't just that she didn't believe she could trust him,
but she believed the lie that he was a trickster and he actually wasn't trustworthy.
And so not sure if that's going to hit home for some different people tonight, but
God is not a God that dangles carrots in front of you. And then when you get closer, he's like,
nope, just kidding. That is not who God is. Like he doesn't do that. The enemy might try to cause
some of you to believe that that is who God is, but that is not who he is. And so I want to
encourage you if that resonates for you on any level to be praying for God to show you
his character, to show you who he is, to help you see that more clearly in the days to come,
because he wants to show you, you know, not who the enemy has said that he is, but who he truly
is. All right. So who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the breakout group?
All right. Awesome. Joy, go ahead. Oh, right. So I hope this is a hit home run. Okay. Thank you
for your sharing before. So I was talking and then I realized the lie believing is I'm not,
I was not good enough. I know it was not a productive, efficient. So that's why I got
as frustrated. That's, I was not sure about my identity. Then I just learned from you.
You have to learn, separate my behavior from my true identity. So, okay. I nailed it because the
thief is fine. So he's going to pay seven times, a hundred times. So I am going to believe who I
am. It doesn't matter what I might behave, but I know God is still healing me, restoring me.
So I know I was super sharp. I have a lesbian focus. I will be so smart and so wise, so efficient,
so productive. And it's so efficient and fruitful. I know that because I'm a child of God. So God is
able to redeem all the lost, all the loss of time, whatever, you know, I'm going to trust God. I'm
going to trust who God say who I am. I'm true, my true identity in Christ Jesus. So I'm not going
to compare my, affect my behavior. When I see my behavior or not, I will come for myself. I speak
and speak the word of God over myself. Yeah. So thank Jesus. Yay. Yay. Praise the Lord. Look at
that transformation, even from just a little bit ago. And here's the thing, ladies, we can say,
God, can you remind me who I am? Remind me who your word says that I am. And what does your spirit
want to say to me today? We can hear the truth from the father's heart, literally every single
day, you all. And from Jesus, who is our friend. It says that we're a friend of Jesus and that he
likes to, they like to share secrets from heaven with us. I don't know if you know that, but the
Bible says it, it does. And so we can come close and hear revelation from heaven and new insight
every single day. Love that joy. Thanks so much for sharing. Vern, go ahead.
Okay. Let's see. So the two lies that I was saying that I need to, well, those two squatters are lies
and it has to do with my adult children. And I feel like this have been a holdup on me and,
you know, in relationships. I actually stopped dating in 1996 and didn't date again to 2016.
And I tried and I was like, wow, I don't know how to date. I need some help in this. But anyway,
so with my adult children, this thing that would just come to me all the time because of,
you know, the lifestyle, I'll say that they're, that they're living. And I would have to reveal
that, of course, to my husband and everything. I'm not ashamed of it because I know it's still
going to be a testimony that my son decided that he wanted to live, you know, a gay lifestyle.
And then my daughter decided she wanted to, I'm just trying to figure this out and we're just
friends. But anyway, yes, that bothers me. But I'm not mad about it because I know that's the
trick of the enemy that he's using. And I know that the both of them actually will come out of
that and they will be winning that community to the kingdom of God. And I do strongly feel
that they will be. So I'm not so, I'm not.
I'm mad about it.
I love them.
They're my kids.
They're, well, they're God's first.
And I've turned them back over to God
because it just seemed like every time I try to,
you know, was trying to get close to somebody,
somebody's trying to, well, get close to me.
I'm like, nah, you know,
you know, I'm gonna have to say something about that
at some point, I know not up front.
But yes, and so the things that they'll tell me now
is that, you know, they'll say something,
give me all this unsolicited advice,
like, mom, you're getting older.
It's not like you're getting younger.
You're being too picky.
Your chances are pretty slim now.
And you just need to just start dating.
No, you don't need to worry about us,
but yeah, that thing keep coming back to me.
And yes, it would bother me.
And so I would always shut down.
Anytime somebody is trying to get to know me,
I kind of shut down in that area because yes,
at one point I was embarrassed or ashamed,
you know, in everything, but not anymore.
I mean, I've moved past it now.
And I just recently told them that I'm done with them,
not done with them because I said,
you guys rely on me so much.
I know that there was a soul tie.
It was a soul tie with being my kids.
You can have a soul tie with your kids.
You can be so attached to them.
But I told them, I said, no,
no longer you guys are gonna just use me
when you get into some type of trouble.
And what I mean by that, on your job,
you have me to meet me to pray for this,
meet me to do this.
You just run to me on that.
And I say, no, no more.
You have to, you already had a relationship with God.
I brought you guys up in a Christian home.
I taught you guys and everything.
So that's the squatters that I'm kicking out.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad you're kicking them out.
And Kate, you know, here's the thing.
I would encourage you to really pray about
what is really causing you to pull back with these men.
I hear you saying it's because you are nervous
to tell them what's going on with your kids.
Okay.
But, and that might be the reason, but we need to-
The part.
Yeah, we need to make sure there's not other things
under the surface there.
And I wanna encourage you in this,
because when I met my husband,
I'm trying to think if she was already or not,
his oldest daughter is currently
in a same-sex relationship.
It's hard, but we love them.
And, you know, God is doing some stuff there
and God has been reconciling.
Cause when I first met him,
his ex had said so many terrible things
that girls didn't realize.
Terrible things that girls didn't really know
what to believe about their dad.
And he's like one of the kindest people
I've ever met in my life, y'all.
Really sad what the mom did in that situation there.
But God's been, you know,
really restoring those relationships with his daughters.
His youngest has come and stayed with us multiple times.
His oldest, it's taken a little longer,
but she's, you know, was kind of got the brunt
of some of that stuff with the mom.
But I'm saying that to say,
I had not one thought in my mind about,
like it never came across my mind
that I would not choose Brian because of that.
And so if I believe a hundred percent,
if God can lead me to Brian
and I can love his kids no matter what,
that God will provide a spirit mate for you
that can also do the same.
Okay.
And so if that is the only reason we can-
It's not the only reason though.
Yeah, I figured it's not.
No, that's not the only reason.
That's not the only reason.
The other reason would be,
I would say trauma for me
was trauma being in my mother's womb.
My dad died the month before I was born
and mom never talked to me about that.
And actually I went through my childhood and everything.
I thought I was fine, but it hit me, I'm 62,
but it actually hit me like in 2020, 2021
was when it really hit me.
And when I started looking at the relationships
that I was in, because like I said,
I didn't date for 20 years
and I tried to date a guy in 2016.
And that's when I started back on the dating scene.
And then that's when I really started seeing a pattern
of the guys that I was trying to get to know.
But yes, I would have let them get close to me
and I'm glad I did it
because it was a lot of other stuff with them.
I do have kids from them,
but I'm glad that I didn't let it go as well.
But I was a runner.
Yes, I would.
I would run when I see things not going right
or as a result of it.
And I'll get silent, wouldn't speak up for myself
and all those things like that.
And I'll just run, I'll just leave it.
Okay, so I have, yeah.
So I have something for you
and then I'm gonna move just to Ruth Ann,
or Ruth A, I said Ruth Ann, sorry about that.
And Karen Rioson.
But you just said, I am a runner.
Okay, so what I want you to do,
I want you to come out of agreement with that statement.
Well, I was a runner.
Yeah, yes, exactly.
In the past, I struggled with running
from situations or people,
but the Lord is helping me to be calm
and to be able to learn how to connect
with people in healthy ways.
You know, you can say something else,
but I'm just kind of giving you an idea.
But really pray and ask the Lord
how to take what you used to say,
come out of alignment agreement with it
and write a declaration about who you are becoming
and say that over yourself, okay?
Yes, thank you.
Awesome, great share.
Thank you so much.
All right, Ruth, go ahead.
And you all, if you have to hop off, it's totally fine.
I know we're past time.
Before Ruth shares, the activation for this week
is for you to go into the group
and share about your squatters that you're evicting.
So even if you're not talking live,
I wanna hear from you in the group this week.
What squatters are you kicking out?
And some of y'all have been busting out your activations.
It's been awesome seeing those.
So praise the Lord on that.
But if you do have to jump off, it's okay.
But I am gonna let Ruth A. and Karen share before we close.
But those two will be the last two I'll take tonight, okay?
All right, Ruth, go ahead.
Oh, thanks, Bethany.
Sorry, I'm having like sinus and-
Oh, that's all right.
The lies for me are that it's kind of dual-sided
or two sides of the same coin,
but that I can't or won't unlearn
whether it's bad habits or parts of my psyche,
my personality that are, you could say I regress,
that aren't serving me well or that aren't helping me,
that have kept me stuck and that we're involved
or we're part of the demise of my marriage,
that I won't be able to unlearn those
to have a healthy relationship or marriage again.
It's almost like I'm doomed by those,
by areas where, or places where I've struggled
and that because of that, that I don't have
or I won't have what it takes to be a good mother,
that because of the struggles that I've had,
that I don't have what it takes to be loving
or to be caring or affectionate.
Even though those are the things I,
I don't know how to explain what I'm trying to say, but-
I do understand what you're trying to say.
Yeah, it's very clear.
I just was thinking and pondering as you were sharing.
Did you feel like your mom was affectionate
with you when you were little?
No, not because, she grew up in the society.
My mother's Nigerian and the way she grew up,
they never said, I remember just a week or two ago,
I was talking to my mom on the phone and I said,
I love you and she said, love you too.
And I thought my heart would stop
and I yelled my dad, oh my God, she said, I love you too.
And I, because that was, I mean,
my mom could come to your house,
she'll clean your home from top to bottom.
She'll cook for you for a week, a month, a year.
Like, so that was how they were very utilitarian.
You did this, but never expressed it.
And it was just, I mean, she did, she showed everything.
I mean, at one point she was working three, four jobs
for us, so she showed it, but she never would say
or physically allowed, like hugging, like she's not done.
Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of amazing parents.
I was just talking to a young lady from our church
who her dad is a great guy and very faithful in church,
but really struggles to show affection.
His mom didn't show him affection when he was raised.
And so that's just not something he does.
Like literally she was like, he'll leave for a job
where he knows he's gonna be gone for a month
and not even like say goodbye, like he just leaves.
He's not trying to be mean or hurtful.
He just doesn't connect in certain ways
that other people might.
And so 100%, I don't think it's so much
that someone's not a good parent.
Again, we do things typically because it can be a cultural,
it can be how we learned.
Oh, I love that, you're meeting someone else there
from similar culture, I love it.
But we do need to look at that though,
because you're also learning from your mom.
But that doesn't mean that God's not changing you all, all of you. It sounds like God's teaching
your mom how to communicate that she loves you too. There's some change happening there.
And so, um, you know, who's to say, and again, not that you have to do this, but like there's
parenting classes and, and there's other classes to teach you how to connect and emote and hug.
And I mean, there's like, there's literally classes for everything now, you all, if there's
anything we don't know, someone is willing to teach us how to do it. Um, and so some people
have a natural inclination to be motherly, but it can also be learned a hundred percent. And
our past doesn't have to define us ever, ever. And so I'm so glad you're kicking those out,
that you're evicting those. Um, Ruth, I I've seen you like sharing and really leaning in
the whole time you've been in this heartwork and God is doing stuff in you. And it's great.
It's great to see the changes. Um, I believe this is just the beginning for you and, uh,
really allowing yourself to see that you do have what it takes.
You do have what it takes. You've been showing up here faithfully, consistently.
So even that you can be like, no devil, that's not true. I do show up faithfully and consistently,
and I care about people or whatever it is you need to say. You don't want to talk to him too long
because we don't want to focus on him, but I'm just saying it is okay for us to be like,
get out of here. Like you do not belong in my mind. You don't belong in my heart.
And I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna align or partner with anything that you have to say.
Or partner with anything that you have to say is of no value to me. This is who I am.
And then you want to say the things that you are, that are truth, the things that are life,
the things that are, you know, full of joy and, you know, hope and peace and all those
kinds of statements that we can find in the word that even some, I read over you all this,
this evening, you know, get in, get into the word and really find some, some scriptures that,
that really minister to you and help you declare who you are. That's good.
Okay. Thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better. Karen Rios, go ahead.
Good evening. And thank you so much for taking this. And I want to say the breakout rooms,
both of them were amazing. And I wanted to also pick up because one of the lies I have two eyes,
but one of them is actually a continuation of last week's. And I wanted to let you know that
when you said, choose me, I'm not sure if you went back and read my comment, but what God had
showed me was that in my relationships, I have actually denied my own principles, standards,
and values for other people. So it's a kind of putting myself last, but it's also not standing
up for God and ways that I should have stood up for him and those relationships. And so that was,
yeah, that was, that was where, when you said, choose me, I think it was,
it was also me choosing God or the, the, my identity in Christ. So the very first squatter
that actually needs to be kicked out is that I am not that I am, I, I need to, I don't want to be
loved, or I don't believe that I will be loved if somebody is, if it's just about me. So in other
words, it's not about what I do, who I don't believe that I'll be loved for who I am,
not the sum of what I do and what, what is everything else, like every other component,
as opposed to just who I am. So that's the first lie. And the second lie was really interesting.
It was going through the book this week and realizing that one of the wounds that I have
is not believing that men are trustworthy. And I shared this in my other breakout session.
I come from two grandfathers who both were in extramarital affairs. So one manifested itself
when my father was passing away about 15 years ago, where I have an aunt who I don't know.
And she came to visit my father in the hospital right before he passed away,
but came at a time where we were not there. And so we found out about her as, you know,
as he was passing. But I think there's a wound there just because there's a part of my family
who's really close to me, who I may never know who she is. And I know that I'm going to have to
probably go through that process of healing that. And also forgiving my grandfather because
Um, my grandmother during, we watched my grandmother turn into somebody who was
very, very bitter towards the end of her life and we never knew why.
And so that put a lot of, the pieces kind of came together when
my father was passing away.
Um, but I think that I don't want that to be, um, what colors
relationships going forward with men.
I think it probably has been, um, something in the past, but I'm ready
to really just uproot that one and get it on.
Yes.
I love it.
Yes.
Let's do some uprooting this week.
You all let's kick this stuff out.
And, um, I love that you already recognize the forgiveness that
needs to take place there.
A hundred percent.
I think that's true.
Um, and.
Um, I would encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to show you, um, trust.
Oh my gosh.
Trustworthy men that are already around you.
Okay.
Um, as well as bringing other men, they can even be brothers in Christ.
It doesn't have to be a romantic thing to show you like trustworthiness in front
of you, where you can see it displayed.
Um, and you might start recognizing people that are already in your life,
you know, things like that too, but I believe the Lord wants to
start showing you that more.
And then, um, one question I had for you, um, on the, I don't believe that I will
be loved for who I am, you know, apart from anything you can do or anything.
Um, have you felt like in the past, like growing up that people were
trying to get things from you?
Yeah.
I'm a, I'm a first child.
And so, um, there was always a lot of responsibility.
Um, you know, and then I was also an overachiever.
And so there was always a transactional, it seemed like there were always
transactional situations where yes.
Okay.
And so that's why that's a lie that's standing out for you.
And so with that, I want to encourage you.
So like, when I think about transactional, anything there's, it's not that we don't
want to connect, but we don't.
Um, subconsciously give ourselves permission to connect or we're afraid to.
Okay.
And so I want you to ask the Lord, like, when is the first time that you
experienced like a transactional relationship?
Because that needs to heal so that you can start to have a more
connection type of relationship.
Does that make sense?
Where there's deeper, deeper levels of connection.
You know, it makes me think of the phrase too, like intimacy is in to me.
See, but so many times, some of us are afraid to actually let people see into
us because we're afraid that they won't love us the, the dark parts, the ugly
parts, the great part, like, you know, we're, we're just, we're afraid of that.
And so I want to encourage you in those areas.
I think that'll be a huge help to you.
I did respond.
I know to one of the first messages back, but, um, if I missed a second
one, I'll go back and check that.
But, um, thank you for sharing that tonight, ladies.
This has been great.
I've loved being here with all of you.
Let me pray us out.
Uh, look forward to seeing you on the group this week as well.
Father, thank you so much for everything that you've
accomplished in us already tonight.
We thank you for the revealings for healing that are happening.
God, we're asking for a supernatural work.
God, you're the great physician.
Nothing's too hard for you.
We thank you God that you will just even come in their sleep and, and do
surgery supernaturally, that some of them will go to sleep and wake up and
just feel like things are lifted off of them, God, we thank you that you
would place the balm of Gilead upon every wound, every sore, every pain
point, God, and bring peace, bring healing, bring wholeness, God, we
thank you that all of the broken shattered pieces, God, that you're a
God that loves us so much that you're gathering those pieces, God, in your
hands and, and like a gentle father, you're just starting to mold them back
together and you're going to make everything brand new, God, that you're
creating a masterpiece out of every messy, dark area of our hearts and our
lives.
And we thank you for it.
We love you, Lord.
We're so grateful for the good father that you are Jesus.
Thank you for your sacrifice and Holy spirit.
Thanks for being our comforter, our counselor, our guide for being the
power that enables us to choose healthy things.
And we just thank you that you'll help us to take healthy steps all week long
in Jesus name.
Amen.
God bless you all.
Have a great night, everyone.
Bye bye.
Thanks so much.