Chapter 8.
When Church Isn't Working
Throughout my life, I've encountered many faces and stories of people struggling and
searching for something more in their faith and relationship to God.
Sheila, Karen, and Thomas, for instance, each have stories that represent a familiar tale
in the tapestry of spiritual seeking that crosses cultural boundaries.
Their experiences reflect wider struggles of finding true solace and meaning in one's
spiritual journey, and set against the backdrop of global shifts in religious engagement,
they pave the way for a deeper exploration of what it means to have a personal encounter
with God.
You may be one of them.
Sheila was raised in the warmth of a close-knit church community and had always embraced her
faith as a cornerstone of her identity.
However, as years passed, the rituals and sermons that once gave her a sense of purpose
began to feel mechanical and scripted.
She found herself going through the motions, and she felt her prayers began to reflect
an emptiness of a faith that no longer spoke to her heart.
It wasn't just the repetitiveness of the rituals.
It was the growing realization that her spiritual practice lacked the authenticity and personal
connection she craved.
Sheila yearned for a faith that resonated not just with her joys, but her life's struggles
as well.
Somehow she inherently knew that she needed a faith that was alive and evolving, not static
and confined within the walls of the traditions she'd grown up in.
Her journey had begun to feel like a dance, two steps forward, two steps back.
She was raised with the hymns and prayers of a traditional church, clinging to them
like a lifeline.
Yet, as she grew into adulthood, Sheila wrestled with a faith that felt more like a childhood
aspiration than a living reality.
She yearned for more, but the sermons and Bible teachings that were once a source of
comfort now felt hollow.
It's not that she wanted to let go of what she grew up believing.
She just couldn't continue to hold on to something that didn't feel real anymore.
Then there's Karen, whose experience in her large suburban church painted a different
yet equally troubling picture.
Surrounded by hundreds of fellow believers every Sunday, she nevertheless felt an overwhelming
sense of isolation.
The smiles were friendly, the greetings warm, but she couldn't shake the fact that her connections
with fellow members lacked depth.
Karen's church bustled with activities and programs but missed the core of what she sought,
a community where she could feel safe in being and expressing herself and the doubts that
she was having.
Her involvement in various church groups, initially a quest for fellowship, slowly turned
into a realization that true community, one where individuals are seen, heard, and valued,
well, that was missing.
Without this real connection, her church began to feel more like a social club than a family
of faith.
What she found herself craving was a community where her doubts and her fears could surface
without judgment and where she could find support and kinship on a deeper level.
On the surface, Karen was the very picture of a devoted church member, always there,
always involved, but inside, she was adrift in a sea of faces, completely surrounded yet
soulfully alone.
In the bustle of church activities, she searched for a connection that went deeper than polite
smiles and small talk after service.
She had a hunger for a genuine relationship, not just to people, but with God.
The whole situation kept her awake at night.
Thomas, on the other hand, represented a different kind of struggle, a young professional and
a large city.
He found the teachings of his church increasingly out of sync with his reality.
His denominations, doctoral tenants, seemed disconnected from modern life's complexities.
He struggled to apply the biblical principles taught on Sundays to his challenges throughout
the week.
Simply put, the messages, steeped in tradition, didn't address the difficulties he faced daily
and lacked the practical guidance that he needed for navigating his career, his relationships,
and his personal growth.
This disconnect led to a sense of disillusionment, and he began to view his church experience
as an obligation rather than a source of spiritual nourishment.
Where did his faith fit in a world of rapid change of moral complexities and digital landscapes?
Thomas' story is a quest for relevance, for a faith that speaks to the here and now and
pertinence of our everyday lives.
As I said previously, Sheila, Karen, and Thomas' experiences are not isolated and not mere
anecdotes.
They represent a growing trend of disillusionment and disconnection with traditional religious
practices.
Statistics, over the past four decades, paint a very telling picture of this shift.
According to a 2021 Gallup survey,
poll, church membership in the United States, which stood at 70% in 1999, saw a decline to 47%
by 2020. This decline is not just a number. It's a significant shift away from traditional church
involvement and represents millions of individuals, each with their own story of faith and
struggle. It's a profound narrative of spiritual seeking and shifting perspectives in our country.
Millions are leaving the church, but you might be surprised to learn that they are not abandoning
their faith. They consider themselves Christians who simply don't go to church. By conservative
estimates, there are now over 30 million people who identify as such in the United States alone.
To put that in perspective, that is nearly 1 in every 10 people you pass on the street.
Not 1 in every 10 believers, but almost 1 in every 10 people. These are seeking individuals in every
church, temple, synagogue, mosque, or whatever they call their house of worship. People in every
denomination, in every religion, who have come to realize that the path that they are following
or what they are doing is not fulfilling. It's not meeting the need within them that cries out to God.
Something has been missing in their lives and they have a longing for more than man-made tradition,
doctrine, or theology. Something deep within them is calling out for God. And God is answering.
He is showing up personally and lives are being transformed by direct, unmediated interaction with
him. My personal experiences, along with those of Sheila, Karen, and Thomas, underscore a fundamental
truth I've long believed. It's a personal encounter with God that truly transforms one's faith and
life. While our stories illustrate the spiritual challenges many believers face within institutionalized
religion, they also expose a deeper issue inherent in many modern faith practices. Human efforts to
reach God through rituals, traditions, and institutions are falling short of cultivating
the intimacy with God that we are designed to experience. As well-intentioned as these structures
might be, they aren't meeting the need that we were designed for or the capacity that we have within.
Sheila's longing for authenticity, Karen's yearning for true community, and Thomas's desire for
relevance are not isolated struggles. Their experiences resonate with countless believers
who find themselves caught in the rhythms of religious routines that fail to speak to the
depths of their hearts. Rituals, traditions, and institutions can inadvertently create distance
rather than draw individuals closer to the divine. While not inherently wrong, they easily become
barriers rather than bridges to intimacy with God. A failing framework. Many church practices create
a framework for their faith but fail to provide the dynamic relationship with God that so many need
and desperately crave. Rituals can become mechanical, leaving believers wondering why
their faith no longer stirs their souls. Institutional structures can lack the depth
of connection needed to foster genuine spiritual growth, and traditions can feel outdated and
irrelevant. The heart of the issue is that these systems often focus on external practices.
Attending services, participating in programs, adhering to rules, all the while neglecting the
internal transformation that comes through a direct personal communion with God. When faith
becomes more about doing than being, it loses its vitality and power. The danger lies in mistaking
the structure for the substance. Attending church, singing hymns, or following denominational
traditions can be meaningful, but they are not the ultimate goal. These practices are meant to point
us towards God, not replace a direct relationship with Him. When the focus shifts from God Himself
to the framework that has been built around Him, the inevitable result is disillusionment, burnout,
spiritual stagnation, and worse. For many, the realization of this disconnect leads to a painful
reckoning. It's not that they've lost their faith, rather they've come to see that the path they've
been following isn't changing anything. It's not leading them to true transformation or the
deeper relationship with God they desire. They aren't experiencing the real lasting change in
themselves that they've longed for, the kind of transformation that reshapes the heart,
renews the mind, and revitalizes the spirit. Instead, people often feel stuck as though
their spiritual growth has plateaued despite their best efforts to stay engaged in church
activities and in rituals. This growing awareness is one of the reasons so many believers are leaving
institutionalized religion, not because
they've abandoned God, but because they're actually searching for something more.
Unfortunately, many don't know what more is. But I can tell you that most are seeking a faith that
breathes life into their everyday existence, a relationship that moves them beyond mere
religious routine and into the profound, life-changing presence of God Himself.
As bleak as the picture that I've painted may seem, it is in this very longing, this hunger
for something more, that the seeds of transformation are being sown. The stories of Sheila, Karen,
and Thomas, as well as the growing numbers of believers stepping away from religion,
reveal an underlying reality. Humanity's deepest need is not for more rituals or traditions,
but for a personal, intimate relationship with God. This longing is not new. It's woven into
the very fabric of who we are, a reflection of the original design God intended for humanity.
From the very beginning, God's desire has been for intimacy with His creation. He didn't create
us to follow lifeless rituals or to rely on intermediaries to connect with Him. He created
us to walk and talk with Him, to know Him personally, and to experience His love firsthand.
Humanity's attempts to bridge the gap have fallen short. Religious systems, for any value they might
have, can never restore the intimacy with God we were created for. This is why personal encounters
with God are so important. They bypass the limitations of human understanding and go
straight to the heart. When God shows up in a person's life, as He is doing for many today,
the impact is undeniable. Lives are changed, not through programs or traditions, but through the
power of a direct connection with the Creator. This is a truth that millions around the world
are discovering, and it's a truth that has the power to reignite faith, heal wounds,
and lead believers into a vibrant, dynamic bond with God. The call isn't to abandon all forms of
organized worship, but to put them in their proper place, as tools that support your faith,
not as substitutes for the intimate divine connection you were created to have.
If you're feeling lost, disillusioned, or disconnected, the answer isn't found in doing
more of the same. It's found in stepping away from the noise, the routines, and the expectations,
and seeking God directly. It's about stripping away the layers of man-made religion and
rediscovering the simplicity and beauty of walking with God in a personal, transformative way.
This kind of relationship is possible even in the midst of spiritual struggles.
God is waiting to meet you where you are, to heal your wounds, to speak to your heart,
and to lead you into an abundant life. The question is, are you willing to let go of
whatever's been holding you back and step into the freedom and intimacy of a direct relationship
with Him? The answer to that question could change everything.