Hello, welcome, welcome.
I'm sure more people are going to be joining us here in just a little bit.
Welcome back for another session, Monday evening, heartwork, check-in, so glad to be here with
all of you.
For any of you that are here with us tonight, is there anyone that is new for the first
time?
You've never been at a live session before?
If so, put that in the chat for us so we can welcome you.
My name is Bethany Cooper, I'm one of the heartwork coaches here in the community and
just love what God is doing and the opportunity that I get to do and be a part of in this
season.
And tonight, I'm super excited just to go through what I believe can be really transformative
for you all.
Some of the things that God has been bringing up and even this afternoon, things that, you
know, the Holy Spirit brought up that I didn't even plan for, which is a really awesome thing.
So, is it Karishma, is that how you say it?
Please let me know.
Yes.
Karishma.
Yes.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All right.
I'm trying to make notes of this stuff, ladies.
So, Karishma.
All right.
Awesome.
Thank you so much.
Welcome, welcome for those that are joining us right now.
Again, so glad that you're here.
Our housekeeping items tonight, just a couple of really quick ones, Supernatural Saturday
if y'all didn't hear that yet.
Maybe you just joined us yesterday.
I don't know.
But either way, Supernatural Saturday was really great.
It's called Silent Saturday is the process.
It was powerful just talking about the middle, you know, the middle season, if you will,
the emptiness of the tomb, you know, all the things that come after that waiting period.
But what do we do with the waiting period?
And so Jackie really focused on that Silent Saturday and how sometimes people walk away
from even got things God is telling them that are going to be theirs because the middle
season gets hard.
And so I want to encourage you all to listen to that.
I believe that it will really help you even in your heart healing phase one journey to
prepare your hearts for what God is trying to lead you into.
iPhone, welcome.
Just so y'all know, if you when you log in, if you tap on your screen, like kind of tap
on your picture, there should be dots that show up three little dots, and then it will
give you an opportunity to rename your screen.
And so we'd love for you all to put your first name in there if you can.
That will help us when so I don't have to call you iPhone, but I'm so glad that you're
here.
Welcome.
We're, we're glad to have new ladies joining us all the time.
So Supernatural Saturday, check that out.
That's under the replay tab in the app.
I want to let you all know that distractions are going to come all the time throughout
your whole heart work process into phase two and beyond.
So what do we do with, with distractions?
We want to stay focused.
We want to stay focused, not give up.
What kind of distractions?
Well, any kind of distraction you can think of old, old guys that you broke up with.
Yep.
They might resurface.
They might.
Guess what?
You can, you can really resist the urge to reach back out and go down that road unless,
you know, after phase one, because if you didn't know, we ask you to press pause on
dating when you're in phase one.
Why do we do that?
Because you need to be here to intentionally invest in yourself.
So unless you were in a very serious long-term relationship before you came into heart work,
we ask you to press pause on dating apps, dating, trying to meet guys so that you can
just really have a solo conversation between you and the Lord to hear fully what he's trying
to say to you that needs healing.
So that can pop up.
Sometimes things go haywire with kiddos.
They have constant needs.
Sometimes people get sick.
We've had all kinds of things happen, you all, but stay focused.
Don't give up.
And if something happens, please let us know so we can be praying for you and come alongside
of you on that journey on the note of distractions.
There is one that happened today, you all, and you might, some of you might already know
about it.
So we're having a tech issue in our app.
If you didn't know, courses for a lot of people went back to zero.
Not a good thing.
Not something we want to happen.
So I apologize for that.
We are working on it.
We're going to be working with our app developer tomorrow to try to resolve that and get everybody's
course percentages back to where they were.
Give us grace in this process, because with having our own app, there's a lot of awesome
things about it, and there's a lot we're learning in the process as well.
So again, apologize for that.
We hope that that will be fixed very soon.
Just do your best.
Okay, so Courtney, yours already came back.
That's awesome.
Did you log out and log back in?
No.
When I just came in tonight, it was showing zero.
and I just refresh it a couple of times
and it showed back my percentage of where I was.
Okay, so ladies.
It's true, I thought I got restarted for a second.
Try to do that and let's hope
that everyone's will get refreshed
because there were a couple of people I reached out to
before I hopped on
because we were trying to figure out
if we needed to make this announcement
and that person, a couple of them,
theirs was at zero.
So I was like, I just got to let them know.
I literally just did it like right before this call, so.
All right, awesome.
Thank you for that.
That's super helpful.
So, okay.
Hopefully everyone is okay.
I'll let my team know as well,
but if not, log out, log back in, refresh,
and let's see if we can get everybody's
back to where it was.
Last one is best practice.
When you're going through the HeartWork course
is one week of content per week.
And in there, it's, you know,
we call it part one, part two,
but when I say week one, that's what I mean.
Part one is week one,
but you have one week of content per week.
We really don't want you to go faster than that.
If you take longer than that, that's okay,
but we don't want you to go faster.
If you go faster, we're just going to kindly
just ask you to kind of hold pattern
and revisit some videos.
Make sure you're coming to the live sessions.
Y'all, the live sessions are a huge part
of this HeartWork course.
And so those of you that are here,
I think you know that,
and God's been bringing a lot of breakthrough,
a lot of revelation for people.
And I want more people to understand that.
So if you can, if these live sessions are helping you,
I would love for y'all to just put a thing in the group
so people can read them.
Maybe they're not coming to lives.
It might encourage them,
because some people are afraid
to actually come on live sessions like this.
So want to thank you in advance
if that is you and you feel led to do that.
All right, let me pray for us.
And we're going to jump right in.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
Thank you for the revealings, for healing
that are going to happen tonight,
the ones that already happened today,
the ones that are going to continue throughout the week.
We thank you, God, for your divine calling
and impartation into each one of us,
that you've placed so many beautiful things
on the inside of every single one of us.
I pray that if there's anything
that the enemy is saying or doing
that's causing us to live underneath
of where you have called us to live,
I pray that you'll help us to receive that upgrade
from heaven tonight,
that you would help us to align our hearts,
our minds, our bodies, our spirits,
and our souls with the kingdom of heaven,
that we would hear what your spirit
is saying over us tonight,
that you would help us to hear your still small voice.
And as things are coming to the surface,
Lord, I thank you that you would place the balm of Gilead
upon every wound, upon every trauma
that any of us have ever experienced, God,
and that you would bring not just revitalization,
but redemption and healing and restoration, God,
that you would just come into every crack and crevice
and fill in those foundation places, Lord, with your love.
Lord, let your love, Lord, envelop us
in just a supernatural way.
Help us to have a fresh understanding of who you are,
God, the Father, as love, as kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness.
God, that you lead us into wide open spaces.
You deliver us.
You take us out of the muck and the mire
and you set our feet upon the rock.
And we just thank you in advance for that.
In Jesus' name, amen.
All right, you all, we're gonna do
a couple little things tonight as we are getting started.
I ran out of time to do this this afternoon,
and so I really wanna do this,
I think, on the beginning tonight.
I wanna just start to hear from you a little bit.
We're gonna be talking about confession and repentance.
Some of you have already been through week three,
but just in general,
even if you've just started this course,
maybe you just are on day one,
so you might not be there yet.
But if you're a couple days in, a weekend,
you know, a little further,
I wanna hear from you in the chat.
What is something that God has been speaking to you about
that he's leading you to confess,
that he's leading you to repent
and turn away from that stuff?
You know, maybe you were going this way before,
but now the Holy Spirit, the Lord's been working
in your heart and he's like,
gosh, man, you know, Aaron, I have better for you.
You know, Michelle, I have so much better for you.
Katie, come this direction
because I've got something really awesome
waiting over here for you.
And so if that's you,
there's something that God is asking you
to walk away from, leave behind.
I'm gonna talk about a couple different aspects of things.
I would love to hear from you in the chat,
and that can be any of you all.
It doesn't have to just be the people I said their name.
I only do that when I feel like
the Holy Spirit tells me to do it,
and I never know who.
I just, I kind of, my eyes go,
and when I see someone, I say their name.
So the Lord knows why those things happen
and who needs to hear them at,
I believe, a point in time, so.
But what are...
some things what are some things that the Holy Spirit has been working on you regarding all
right Katie says that I have to walk away from old to accept new yes all right Karen says use
evening time for reading love that being with him okay Katie people I like that's something I was
kind of alluding to this afternoon that the Lord was kind of speaking into so I'm trying to read
and talk at the same time which is not effective y'all but um speaking into that some of us you
know have old friends and it doesn't mean you can't love them it doesn't mean you can't ever
talk to them but some of you really need to be in prayer about this new season that God's leading
into you uh leading you into and whether or not God wants you to have all of the people in your
life right now still in like main focus like what do I mean by that like maybe you're focusing a
lot of intention and time with those people and maybe they're not God's best for you in this next
season as far as the amount of time that you're spending with them Karen also says uh oh my other
Karen Karen and Karen compromise in previous relationships not standing strongly in my faith
and convictions okay I love it so I want y'all to be thinking about you God is the center circle
the next circle you know if you have a center circle and then there's a circle around it
should be your closest like relationship so your when you're married it should be your spouse
when you're not married maybe it's a mom maybe it's a child maybe it's you know a best friend
someone that you're really really close to and then as you go out you know those other
relationships extended family um other friends you know and then each circle is is further out
but we need to be thinking about that and the reason I'm bringing that up is because the closer
circle people should have more access to you but people that are maybe acquaintances or you know
maybe they're on that outer circle some of you all are letting them have full access 24 7 and
they're some of the people that might be really needy they have no boundaries and they just you
just keep letting them come right in but the Lord might even be speaking to you now that you need to
re-establish some things and again it doesn't mean we don't love these people but maybe God
wants you to shift your focus and attention that you continue to give to that person to someone
else in this season okay Rosie says let go of things in the past that I thought were of value
thinking they may still have a place in this new season thank you for sharing Michelle says
confidence all right Aaron says to not get so attached to my identity and worldly things job
title relationships I can relate to that and to spend more time with him so that his voice is the
loudest in my life love that he's your first defense girl that's right not your last he's
our first first defense he's the one we can go to for anything ladies and if you don't know that
fully like maybe some of you know it in your head but it's not down in your heart yet we're hopefully
going to get you there before you finish week five well really the Lord's going to get you there but
the content's going to help too so on that note let's start to talk a little bit about confession
and repentance tonight I want to leave I want to leave a good chunk of time for coaching
we started getting into some really powerful stuff this afternoon and I felt like I needed to
go long just to make sure we had that time and I don't want to have to do that tonight
all right yeah let's let go of people pleasing Maria way to go or letting other people emotions
affect or manipulate you yes praise the Lord all right so confession and repentance
I want y'all to understand that there are going to be times in your life where you don't even
understand why you're doing what you're doing okay why do you keep getting stuck in the same
patterns why does the same person keep drawing you back into relationship when you really know
that relationship's not good for you you know there's a lot of different things why do you turn
to some of you hopefully not but typically this is in there some people turn to over drinking
over eating all different kinds of stuff I'm going to go through more in here in a little bit
but why do we do what we do we don't always know but guess what God knows the what behind the why
he knows why we do everything that we do and he loves us no matter what okay so we don't have to
walk in shame or guilt or condemnation but we need to understand that God is the one that can reveal
to us what we need to know regarding what needs healed so that we don't continue to walk in those
old patterns those old mindsets the old habits that the things that are harming us
and they're not serving us at all.
The things that continue to get us stuck
and disenchanted, discouraged,
like all the, you know, depression
and all the things that are not, again,
leading us into the goodness of God
in the land of the living,
they're actually leading us away from it.
So it's important to turn to the Lord
every step of the way in your process
and just to continue to remember
to surrender the pen to Him,
you know, that submission activation.
We're, if we have time,
we're gonna read it together
before we log off tonight.
But man, that's a great thing
to print that out and put that up
where you can pray that over yourself
on a regular basis.
That alone, if you just pray that
every single day and just remind your heart
and your spirit and your mind,
like, okay, I'm submitting to God.
God is the one that I need.
I can't do this by myself.
I mean, the prayer is powerful.
I can't do it justice by trying to paraphrase it,
but I'm just trying to bring attention to it
because that's one of the ways
that you all can continue to gain traction,
even in your daily walk right now,
to pray that prayer and partner with the Lord
first thing in the morning
before you do anything else.
And just that reminder
that the Holy Spirit is your counselor.
He's your guide.
He's that ever present help in time of trouble.
So even as you're walking and you're healing
and you're trying to figure out,
okay, why do I get stuck in this area?
Why do I think these negative thoughts?
Why do I tend to put myself down?
Whatever the thing is,
the Holy Spirit knows what's at the root of that.
He knows where that came from.
He knows how to counsel you
and lead you into fullness and healing.
And so inviting him into the process is key.
All right.
These next couple of things
I'm gonna talk about, ladies.
Some of them are sin patterns.
Some of them are also...
I just spilled water, y'all.
Some of them are sin patterns.
Some of them are also just,
you know, lies and behaviors
that we need to come out of.
And so I want you to understand
as not every single one of these is a sin.
I guess that's why I'm saying all that.
Sorry, I got distracted until I spilled water.
All right, I'm back.
Insecurity is one of them, okay?
So maybe you are someone
that really struggles with insecurity.
And I just heard the Lord say
that sometimes for some of you,
it leads to jealousy.
You know, you're becoming jealous
and envious of other people.
And we talked about this actually
quite a bit this afternoon.
And I gave the ladies an example
of years ago,
I would drive home the same way from work
when I lived in Kentucky.
And I can't tell you how many times,
it was like days in a row,
I would see these women
that were just, in my mind,
I felt like they were so pretty
or they had certain parts of their bodies
that I was just like,
like I always felt like,
okay, like that's how I wanted to be made.
Does that make sense, anyone?
Anyone else ever done that?
Okay, yeah, I did.
Transparency, fully transparent.
But then what would happen after that
was like kind of the first couple of days,
I just thought I was being like sinful
and like, you know,
not having a good thought process in mind.
I was being all down on myself.
But like after I would be envious of them,
then I would start to put them down in my mind.
Well, this went on for like
probably a good half of a week to almost a week.
And then all of a sudden,
one day I was kind of like,
what the heck is going on here?
Because I don't even like,
think like this about people.
Like it finally dawned on me,
like these aren't things
that I typically think about people.
So where is this coming from in me?
Well, the Lord spoke to me and revealed to me
that it actually wasn't just my own thoughts.
The enemy was assaulting me
with these thoughts about women.
And this is what the Lord said.
He said, the enemy is doing this
because he knows you're calling to help women.
So he's trying to get you to be against women
instead of for them.
People that I didn't even know,
these were women I'd never met.
And once I got that revelation,
well, then I started like
leaning into that more for healing
because okay, well,
I understand that's the enemy and it's his bait.
But there had to be stuff in me that needed healing
that would cause me to see a pretty woman
or something about her
and automatically feel like I was less than.
And so I started having a little talk with the Lord.
Okay, like, what is this?
Show me what this is.
Well, it went back to value.
I believed my value was less back in the day
if I saw someone that I thought was more beautiful.
Honest to goodness truth.
But that isn't truth for any of us.
But so often the enemy is trying to get women.
women to be in comparison with each other,
to fight against each other, to criticize each other,
to put each other down.
But God is saying like, hey, in this season,
I want you to link arms.
You're my daughters, like love each other.
Not just with, you know, actions on the outside,
but internally, whether you know that woman or not,
that woman is made in God's image and she's not your enemy.
There's one enemy and his name is Satan.
He's the devil, he's the liar, he's the Lucifer.
Yeah, that's who our enemy is.
And so what's getting us tripped up is that lack of value
and that understanding of our own worth
and that other people's value and worth
doesn't minimize ours.
And so we have to lean into that.
I started tonight with that because insecurity is literally,
I see it all the time.
It's causing people to pull back in relationship,
even in friendships,
it's causing people to go into hiding,
it's causing people to war against each other
and act like there's scarcity, there's not enough men.
Ladies, I promise,
I know sometimes it might seem like there's not,
but God has a man for you, okay?
You don't have to panic.
You don't have to go fast with some guy that's unhealthy
just to settle because you're worried
that you might not find someone else.
God has his best for you, like his good, good for you.
In every area of your life.
And some of you even right now,
like you're, you know, you get around other women
and you automatically feel less than.
And I know this is a word for some of you.
And God wants to change that.
He wants to help you come up out of that stuff
so that you can literally just feel at inner,
like that deep abiding inner peace,
no matter who you get around.
It is a real thing.
I used to wonder, you know, people would talk about it,
but I was walking towards that,
but that insecurity stuff,
that stuff that was still broken on the core
because I didn't even get to know who I was
before I was abused, literally y'all.
I was abused that young.
Like I didn't even get to really live my life as a kid
and grasp any aspect of who I could become
before the enemy swept in
and started just tearing my identity apart.
And that is some of your stories,
but gosh, man, freedom is on the other side, ladies.
Freedom is on the other side.
I'm here to tell you tonight
that you don't have to stay in that place.
That God is gonna help you get to the other side
and have that deep abiding peace
that truly can be yours,
because I've experienced it.
And I'm living in that now.
Does that mean that the enemy doesn't ever try to tempt me
and cause me to feel insecure?
I'd be lying if I didn't say that.
Yes, that still happens, ladies.
But I have that stuff now on kind of the front of my mind.
And so I can get that stuff under submission quicker.
Submission to who?
Well, the Lord, because that's,
I don't need to walk in that stuff.
I don't need to be insecure.
I don't need to be comparing myself to other women,
other leaders.
You know, some might, it might not be,
look, some of you, you're comparing yourself
to someone who's another speaker or they're a writer
or they work in the office,
maybe the medical field, whatever it is.
So however this fits your story,
I really want you to pray into this tonight, okay?
So that one isn't necessarily sin if it's on the low end,
but ladies, guess what?
When insecurity grows and it keeps growing
and it keeps growing, it can turn into self-hatred.
Well, hating anyone, including yourself is a sin, okay?
God asks us to love every person
that he has created in his image, and that includes you.
Overeating's another one.
I've talked about this before.
I grew up watching my mom hide food, my sister hide food.
They fed their emotions with food and I learned that habit.
And so that's something I really have to do
so that's something I really have to work on
so that when I'm stressed, I'm not eating food
or when I'm tired at night, I'm eating stuff
I don't even need to eat and I really don't eat.
Half the time, I'm like, I didn't even really want that.
I don't even know why I did that.
And so I've been working the last,
we just finished our initial fast in our church
and even just working on not eating sugar,
extra sugar during that time, it always was hard.
But here's the thing.
The Lord has been reminding me
of my flesh is subject to my spirit.
Our flesh can be subject to the spirit of God
that lives within us.
We need to walk in the authority of the Lord.
That God has given us when he put Adam and Eve over the control of the earth and all the things that inhabited it
Guess what?
He gave us authority over our own flesh as well and we can walk in the fullness of the fruits of the Spirit which includes
self-control
Okay, we can we can so join me if this applies to you what I'm saying join me. Let's do this together
I'm overcoming this thing and I really want to kick it, you know into the curb in these next several months
And so it's interesting. I've been doing that fast and and y'all I'm not saying this like oh, I'm so great
I did a fast, you know, I really prayed into this one this one. I didn't do a lot of like fasting all food
I did a lot of like I'm spending more time extra time
Reading extra books like on top of my Bible reading there were things that God really led me to do to really work on
You know not saying anything negative to really work on getting rid of the sugar in my in my diet
That's not healthy not doing processed foods, you know, those kind of things just to make room and I'm saying this to say
God is nudging me to continue
Whether my church continues or not, and it's gonna be a journey ladies, but I'm sharing this with you because
It's an invitation
That's what it is. It's an invitation from the Lord for me and in this time
He's been been really showing me some awesome things and then I don't want to miss out on any of it
And so for some of you, maybe there's gonna be some things the Lord's maybe gonna ask you to fast some stuff
I know there's some ladies in this in this phase one group right now that they're like on a season and just not watching TV
At all while they're doing heart work
Because they're just making more room and they're reading and re-watching the videos and they're just even if they've already watched it once
They're just they're just soaking it in
I'm not saying y'all have to do that. Okay, I'm just saying if that
Resonates in your spirit
Walk in that because God might be asking you
To like lean into that because there might be more than he wants to give you than you even thought
You needed when you came into here. Okay. All right. I'm gonna keep going
Do you struggle with gossip or slander bickering fault-finding having critical spirits and attitudes?
These are all sins
one of the other things I think is important to say and I said it this afternoon is
You know in the body of Christ people
Tend to rate sin like this sin is worse than this sin y'all sin is sin to God
There's one that he points out that is like
More for him and that's blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and then all the other ones he says is sin
Okay, so God doesn't want us to rate sin and and even for some of you it might seem like well
This isn't really that big of a deal and you just keep allowing yourself to do it. So maybe it is gossiping
maybe it is you know, you're sitting at lunch and people start talking about somebody and before you realize that you're caught up in that conversation and
Now you're agreeing with them, but maybe you don't even agree with them
Those are the kind of things we we got to step away from and not continue to participate in negative self-talk or thought patterns
Sexual related struggles, so maybe it was it is or has been sex before marriage porn addictions lust
You know, we got to really work on getting our again our flesh into subjection. Yes, it is possible
We Andrea and myself one of the peer coaches in training if you all see her commenting
She is one of our peer coaches in training
We also have a net winter and Jennifer Yankovic Yankovic that our peer coaches that will comment on your post from time to time
But I'm Andrea commented this afternoon both of us had had to overcome
you know years of the spirit of lust bringing havoc through my family and
Then you know as a young girl, man, I didn't know how to control there were never boundaries around like regarding sex
I was taught all the wrong stuff because that was enforced upon me
So I go into a teenager not knowing how to handle any of that grow into an adult
Yes, I had sex before marriage y'all
That's what I'm trying to say and I had to learn how to overcome that because that wasn't God's destiny for me
Now that was not in my marriage with Brian praise the Lord because that is where I slayed the giant
Y'all I did it. I went all the way we went all the way we were a team and we were in covenant together to
protect that covenant together and that's something we fought for and
It's really important for me to share that with you because I don't want y'all to think I haven't struggled
It was hard
It was hard because my flesh wanted it
But my spirit was like no you're about to slay a giant what giant you might be wondering
well
I'm talking about the giant of the spirit of lust that again had come down through my whole family for years and
I knew
I knew not only was it special for Brian and I,
but that I wanted to create a new generational blessing
to come behind us.
That God was allowing me the opportunity
and the ability to overcome this,
to continue to cut the head of that thing off.
And it was something that we had to,
after engagement, we had to shift our boundaries even more.
I couldn't cuddle, I couldn't cuddle with him.
I couldn't kiss him because like,
I just, my body just went into full gear, you all.
And so lovingly, we set those different boundaries
and guardrails.
Yep, this is real talk.
It's important.
Guess what?
He mattered and so did I.
That's what I want you to get.
Your value matters.
Waiting until you're married to join in covenant, you all,
it's such an incredible thing.
It's such an incredible thing.
But we have to fight for it.
We have to fight for it.
And choosing now, even while you're in heartwork,
will be very important for you.
Again, no shame.
If you all make mistakes along the way,
it's super important for you to hear me say this.
If you do ever make mistake,
please do not go into hiding.
Please do not give into guilt, condemnation, or shame.
Please come into the group and just be real and talk to us.
Let us come alongside of you.
Let us help you.
That's where freedom comes, okay?
So another thing, couple months ago,
gosh, maybe six months ago, we had a lady in this group.
Honestly, I feel bad.
I don't even know if she's in phase three right now.
I would have to go look.
But you all, it was really powerful.
She went live one night after we did
the Repentance and Confession Week
that we're gonna go into tonight.
That's part of the content that I'm working on with you.
And she confessed that she had had an abortion.
Y'all, she had never told anyone.
And she went live in our group and trusted us.
Made a video and confessed that
and talked about a relationship she had had
with a married man as well at some point.
Huge, huge, massive breakthrough for this woman.
So it doesn't matter what you've done.
We love you, okay?
I need you to hear that.
You're safe here.
You're safe.
These are your sisters.
This is your sister squad here right now.
And some of you will move forward into phase two
and some new people, but these are the people
that God has brought you here for this time,
for this season to confess and to get breakthrough
for whatever it is.
And not that everybody, okay,
so maybe it's not sex for you.
Maybe it's not having an abortion,
but maybe for you it is the, again,
that overeating or that gossiping
or being super critical all the time of other people
and putting them down.
This came up this afternoon.
One of the ladies confessed
that that's something her family,
it's come down to her family.
They put other people down to try to like
cause themselves to feel better.
And that's something she learned actually from her father.
All this is real stuff, right, that we deal with,
but God doesn't want you to continue in that
in the days ahead.
I have a couple more.
Maybe you have struggles with authority.
Do you tend to rebel?
Have a rebellious attitude towards other people
and authority on any level over you?
Well, I need to point out that the Bible says
that rebellion is as witchcraft.
I remember the first time I read that,
like when I really, I'd probably read it before,
but you know those times where you're reading it
and it's like jumps off the page at you
and you're like, oh Lord, are you talking,
is that for me?
Like, are you saying like I'm walking in this?
No, you're not yet.
But if you continue down this road,
this is what it amounts to ultimately.
And so I wanna encourage you all,
to really check your heart on things.
And again, there's no shame.
We have to understand that the Lord
is trying to call us out.
He's inviting us to freedom.
That's what's happening tonight.
He's inviting you to freedom.
He's inviting you to wholeness, W-H-O-L-E-N-E-S-S, wholeness.
It's up to us to accept the invitation and step into it
and if we don't have the courage, here's the thing.
Y'all had to ask for courage all the time.
I needed courage to walk in the fruits of the spirit
and to walk in self-control.
I needed grace every day to do that.
So you can ask for the same thing.
We can do this together.
All right.
More angry inside.
Maybe some of you have a lot of anger on the inside,
and maybe some of you it's coming out.
You're outbursts, you've got rage, you've got anger.
We have people driving crazy on the streets now,
more than ever.
People cutting each other off, road rage.
You know, somebody, you know,
who knows if it's accidental
or they cut someone off on purpose.
And then the next thing you know, they're zigzagging.
And maybe that's not you.
I hope it's not.
But if it is,
let's really get to the root of why is that caught?
Like, why is that happening in you?
Because God wants you to drive on the roads with peace,
y'all.
Even if other people cut you off,
we don't have to retaliate.
We don't have to join them in their craziness.
We don't.
Yeah.
I want to breathe that into Sarah.
I felt that when I said it.
We don't have to join people in their craziness,
whether that's road rage or something else, we don't.
So we get to choose and be in control
in the sense of, okay, I'm going to bring my flesh
under subjection of the Holy Spirit.
Okay?
All right, I'm going to keep going.
Repentance means we're going to come out of agreement.
So again, maybe you were going this way.
So you're going to say internally,
I'm coming out of agreement with this thing.
I'm going to choose to turn away from this
and I'm going to go in the other direction.
Yeah, yeah, it's not worth it.
I know, Sarah.
Me too.
I have a scary story when I was a teenager
and that's why I talk to people about it.
I will never do road rage ever again.
Someone held a gun up to a window, you all.
He did.
He was riding my tail and I started brake checking him
and I was getting mad.
And then he went past us and you all,
I was with a friend, I thought it was funny.
So we went right back up on him.
Well, then he started brake checking us.
So when we went to go past him,
he put a gun up to the window.
And then when we got past him,
he chased us through so many neighborhoods, you all.
I literally, it was a very, very scary time.
And we pulled into a police station and then he left.
By the grace of God, I had enough wisdom.
My mom had told me if I ever gotten in trouble,
go to the police station.
I'm not trying to scare you all tonight,
but I want you to understand,
you don't know someone else is crazy
that you might encounter.
So let's get our stuff healed up
so that we don't react to people
and do things that can get us
into dangerous situations, okay?
All right, I had no intent.
That did not come up at all this afternoon,
but for whatever reason, when I saw that,
I just, that story popped right up in my spirit.
And so I'm just gonna give it to you all.
And that was, I mean, I was young.
I didn't, I was very young and never did that again.
Praise the Lord.
All right, so here's a key.
The repentance, you all were not looking
for just a momentary change of behavior, okay?
What we're looking for is heart change,
deep, deep heart change,
where you're literally gonna have a transformation
from the inside out.
So that love connection with the Lord
is going to lead you to make healthier decisions.
That's how that happens, okay?
And so I don't need you all
to try to clean yourselves up real quick, okay?
But we're just trying to bring this stuff to the surface
so you can confess and get it out,
but understand that your heart healing
is an integral part of that deep inner transformation
that is going to last.
Do y'all understand what I'm saying?
Okay, I wanna make sure I didn't lose anybody.
All right, I know it can be heavy
when we talk about repentance and confession,
so I wanna make sure I'm not losing you.
I might do some silly stories here in a little bit
or whatever if we need to, but it's gonna be really good.
So James 5, 16 is our scripture verse
that we're gonna lean into tonight.
It says this, therefore confess your sins one to another,
or excuse me, therefore confess your sins to each other
and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous man avails much.
I almost read a different translation there.
So I want you to think about being tethered.
And when I talk about forgiveness week,
I'll talk about tethered in a different way,
but when we're tethered to something,
we're literally joined to it.
So I want you to think about the areas
of maybe sin in your life that you need to walk away from
or things you need to repent for.
If you don't repent,
you're staying tethered to those things, okay?
You're staying bound to them, okay?
And also when we don't repent,
what can happen is those unconfessed sins
can create those blind spots.
filters, you know, and guess what?
The more we let that stuff go,
that's how these counterfeit identities
in the fragmentation, the brokenness
and all of that stuff together,
that's where that stuff comes from.
And so we're stepping into the fullness
of who God originally created us to be,
and we're coming out of alignment
with those counterfeit identities.
So in order to do that,
we also have to repent and confess.
All right, so I'm gonna put you into your breakout session.
Breakout number one, your question is,
what do you need to confess today?
I feel very angry when I find out
I look after the other person's back,
but that same person did not reciprocate.
I understand that, yeah.
That can be, okay, let's look at candy
underneath the surface of anger.
Let's look at what's underneath of there.
Because typically sadness comes first,
then frustration, and then there's different levels,
and anger is like one of the top ones.
So let's look at the feelings that are underneath of there
that need healing and need some care.
And we'll believe that the Lord will continue
to take you into more healing
as you address those feelings.
And then you'll get a little bit more freedom
from the anger, okay?
All right, so breakout session,
if I didn't finish saying it,
your question is, what do you need to confess tonight?
What do you need to confess tonight?
And going into these breakout rooms,
remember, you don't have to coach each other,
give each other advice, or any of that stuff.
You're just listening to each other
and talking as sisters, okay?
Thank you for sharing and being open with us
is a very good phrase that you can use
when your sisters share with you,
and then the next person can go, okay?
All right, I'm gonna do these rooms for eight minutes.
I want you all, again,
talk about what do you need to confess tonight.
If you have extra time,
you can talk about what led you here,
but talk about that question first.
I'm doing two to three women in a room.
I'm doing eight minutes.
Here you go.
I'm gonna be praying for you.
I mean, once y'all get settled in your rooms,
I'll go ahead and start praying.
If someone's not able,
because you're at work to join the breakout session,
just try to let me know in the chat.
That way I don't have ladies
kind of hanging out in rooms by themselves.
All right.
Okay.
Oh, Stephanie, that's totally fine.
I just saw your message.
Okay.
Father, thank you.
I think we've got everyone situated.
Thank you for every one of these ladies that's here tonight.
Thank you for those that are watching the replay.
Ooh, Lord, things that have already come out tonight,
I'm thankful for the stories that you even led me to share.
I pray that you would just continue to reveal areas
for healing for these ladies,
help them to step into your truth,
into the fullness of everything
that you have in store for them.
God, we thank you that you are,
yeah, just renewing and transforming us.
You're transforming us by the renewing of our minds,
that all old things are passing away
and behold, everything is becoming new in you.
I pray, Lord, that you would help every one of these ladies
that you would even, while they're in the breakouts,
bring things to the surface that they need to confess
and repent and turn away from those things
so that they don't take any of that
into the new season that you have for them.
We thank you, God, for divine appointments
and encounters with you,
for supernatural breakthrough and revelation.
We thank you, Lord, for leading us into our purpose
and your plans for our lives
that you don't have plans to harm us,
but plans to prosper us and give us a hope in a future.
We thank you, Lord, for your grace that is new
and mercy every morning, God,
that we can wake up and say, today's a new day.
No matter what happened yesterday,
God, thank you for this new day, this fresh canvas.
God, help us to paint this canvas with your glory,
with your kingdom principles,
with your healing being manifest in my life.
Help me to hear what your spirit is saying, Lord,
that we would just align ourselves with that every day.
2 Corinthians 1, three through four
in the message translation says this,
all praise to the God and father of our master,
Jesus, the Messiah, father of all mercy,
God of all healing counsel.
He comes alongside of us when we go through hard times.
And before you know it,
he brings us alongside someone else
who's going through hard times
so that we can be there for that person
just as God was there for us.
God, thank you so much for the healing work
that you've done in my life, in my heart.
and that you've brought me to this place
to be able to share these stories
to hopefully bring freedom and yes, Lord,
breakthrough and restoration
and grace into the lives of other people.
We thank you God for redeeming our timelines
that you would go all the way through our timelines
and just where the enemy trying to bring destruction
and breakdown and all of the things, God,
that you would bring healing and life and restoration.
Okay, wait, Karishma and Sylvia,
did you all get kicked out of the rooms you were in?
I was just praying away, I didn't even see you.
Yes.
Okay, do you know what room I had you in?
10.
Okay, let me put you back.
And Sylvia, do you know what room you were in
if you got kicked out?
Oh, she's not there.
All right, so Sylvia, just put in the chat,
I'll kind of do my best to keep an eye on that.
I wanna make sure you get in a breakout room
if you're able to share.
Oh, I've got two Sylvias.
Sylvia, can you hear me now?
Alicia, did you just get kicked out?
No, sorry, I had to go somewhere
and was just hopping back on.
Oh, that's okay.
Are they in the breakouts?
They are, but they're talking about
what is something you need to confess tonight?
I have plenty of rooms to put you in.
I'll send you in there right now.
There you go.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Sylvia, are you able to speak?
I can't tell.
All right, I'm gonna keep going
and I'll do my best to watch for you, okay?
All right, let's move on, ladies.
Ephesians 3, 17 through 19 in the NLT version says this,
then Christ will make his home in your hearts
as you trust in him.
Your roots will grow down into God's love
and keep you strong.
And may you have the power to understand
as all God's people should, how wide, how long,
how high and how deep is his love of...
Sorry, I see more people coming in.
Caroline, did you get kicked out of the room
that you were in?
Are you just joining us?
All right, I'm gonna keep going with the scripture.
Go ahead and put it in the chat for me.
May you experience the love of Christ,
though it is too great to understand fully,
then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life
and power that comes from God.
We thank you, Lord,
that you would just help the ladies continue
to allow their real selves to emerge
and that they would become more rooted and grounded
in the love of Jesus Christ,
that they would grow in their acceptance,
not only of themselves, but of other people,
but first and foremost,
God, that they would receive your love and acceptance
and your grace and your mercy in a fresh way,
not only tonight, but in the days to come.
We thank you, God, for divine revelation and insight,
even when they're sleeping, God,
that you would encounter them in the daytime
as well as the nighttime.
You would help them to hear what your spirit is saying.
Okay, so Caroline, you're getting kicked out too.
I'm not sure what's happening tonight.
I feel like several people have gotten kicked out.
Do you know what room you were in?
Caroline?
I mean, you can stay here with us
if you're struggling with audio, it's totally fine.
But if you figure out your audio,
I wanna make sure you have an opportunity to share.
Okay, I'm also gonna read Ephesians 3, 20 through 21.
This is from the Passion Translation, a different version.
This is what it says,
never doubt God's mighty power to work in you
and accomplish all of this.
He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request,
your most unbelievable dream
and exceed your wildest imagination.
He will outdo them all
for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.
So let me just thank you that you constantly energize us,
God, that you have big, bold, beautiful plans for us.
God, I thank you that any ladies right now
that they just, their hope is low
and maybe they just really struggle
to believe in a beautiful life,
an amazing, wonderful life that you have planned for them.
I thank you, God, that you would help them
to have their eyes opened to see new things all around them,
to see what you have for them
and that you would help them to hear
what your spirit is saying about their life,
about their future and about your plans for them.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
All right, one more from the Passion Translation,
Romans 8, 17, this is what it says.
And since we are his true children,
we qualify to share all his treasures.
for indeed we are heirs of God himself. And since we are joined to Christ,
since we are joined to Christ, we also inherit all that he is and all that he has. We will
experience being co-glorified with him, provided that we accept his sufferings as our own.
Matthew 5, 14 through 16 message says this. Here's another way to put it. You're here to
be light, bringing out all the God colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept.
We're going public with this as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light bearers,
you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand.
Now that I've put you there on a hilltop on a light stand, shine, keep open house,
be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God,
this generous father in heaven. Isn't that powerful, y'all? God created us to spread the
God colors of the world all around. We have 13 seconds and then everyone will be back and we're
going to keep going in our session. It makes me think about something that I said this afternoon
that just came up as I was reading that scripture and as the additional ladies come back and want
to share about it real quick. I don't even remember what scripture I was just reading,
but Matthew 5, I think 14, 15 or something like that from the message, maybe, but y'all want to...
I got a little feedback from somebody. All right. I want to talk to you real briefly before
we have you do group shares. So get ready now. If you didn't know, if this is your first time
joining us, don't panic. It's whoever volunteers, okay? Whoever is willing to share with the whole
group what you shared in your breakout, I would love to have you share here in just a moment.
But as before, I have you do that. I want to talk about, there's a song by Hillsong called Wonder.
It's been out for a while. Before I led the session this afternoon, that song was on my
spirit and God wanted me to talk to you a little bit about awe and wonder. Some of you have been
in a season of like everywhere you look, it just kind of looks and feels gray. It just looks and
feels gray because on the inside, you know, you've lost a lot of hope or things are happening that
have really pressed you down. And the Lord is about to change all that. But one of the things
I want to tell you that you can do to help yourself and you all, I don't want you to think
this is like, I always kind of preface this. It's not new agey. This is literally something I worked
from, learned from a coach and had to implement. But sometimes I always like worry that people
are going to think something weird, but it's not. So I want you to start thinking about like
going on a walk and connecting with your environment. Okay? So what I mean by that
is look around what colors are around you. You know, are there birds? What color are they?
What color are the trees? What color is the sky? Not just blue, but is it light blue?
Are there clouds? Is the wind blowing? How does it feel? Is it humid in the air? Do you feel the
dampness and the humidity? Like what is going on in the environment around you, you know,
and really connecting with not only the environment and the colors, but what are you
hearing? Are there birds chirping? Do you see animals running? Do you hear dogs barking?
Why does this matter? Here's why it matters. Because some of you have been asleep in your
spirit for a long time and it's time to awaken. Remember last week, I think it was last week,
I used that scripture, awake, awake, O sleeper and rise up from the dead. It's time for you to
continue to like arise and awaken to everything that God is doing. I wish I would have remembered
to pull up the screenshot I took this afternoon. The Lord led me to say something and I might not
get it exactly right as I said it this afternoon, but I really felt like it was from him.
But you know, there's things that are happening in all of creation and it's like a roar of the
lion of the tribe of Judah. And he's trying to awaken us not to scare us ladies, but he's trying
to awaken our spirits to his voice. And once we're kind of quickened back to that, then we can start
to hear those still small whisper voices that are his more and more and more. So some of you,
you know, you've really just been so like in survivor mode that you've pushed your feelings
down. And guess what goes, when we push our emotion and our feelings down, guess what goes
down with it? Our sensories. What do you feel? What does it feel like? I want y'all even this week,
just when you touch a fabric, I want you to slow down and like, how does that feel? Is it soft?
Is it a little hard? You know, like pay attention around you and you're even in your house, like
look around, even while I'm talking to you, like look around. Do you have plants in your house?
Do you have a painting that you really love that?
Maybe for the last several months,
it's kind of just been that thing hanging on the wall
that you kind of don't even pay attention to anymore.
And again, there's no shame in any of this ladies,
but the Lord has asked me to say it to you
because once you hear it,
it should hopefully help all of you become more aware
in the days to come, all right?
All right, so I released it.
I obeyed the Lord.
I don't know who all that's for,
but I trust the Lord in what he leads me to do.
Who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in your breakout session?
Normally takes one to get us going.
Okay, Joy, go ahead.
If nobody go, I go.
I am grateful that you're willing to share.
I confess two things that still struggling
to have a true faith in God.
Sometimes I just declare, decree things,
but I know so believe God says who I am,
but sometimes is that I am really that, you know,
so I can say it, I can praise it,
and I have no problem then,
but it's sometimes in real life, day by day,
like every second, every minute,
I really, really, I believe it or not.
Like I believe God for my income
because I left my previous job
for four or five months already,
but in my heart, actually,
I think I wanted to have a whole year to take a break,
to just seek the Lord and really go on and read the Bible
and to seek Him, even go to Bible school
or do something else.
Anyway, but then, but I know I still need income.
That's a fact, and then I pray to God.
It seems that God says to me, everything is mine,
and then today you may ask, I need a job.
And just so that in my mind, it says, you, it's job.
I said, what?
I thought, this is from me or from God?
It's a, I, job.
So it means that in my mind, it's a, I'm selfish, it's a job.
I need to work on myself, that's the job.
I don't know.
It makes sense, it makes sense.
I say, what?
Okay, I know it makes sense.
I think you should from the Lord,
but I could, but I really, I'm still practicing my faith,
building my faith, say God.
I'm still wait, next month my rent
and then my money for the food and blah, blah, blah.
But, you know, so I'm sad.
It's important to have your needs, you know, met for sure,
but God might be just trying to show you
that you are the main focus right now.
If I remember, you know, you had shared before
that sometimes you, you done really well in hard work,
that if it was you, it might not have been you,
but like where you start a course
and then the enemy tries to take you into other things
to distract you, was that you that said that?
I think I have that problem too.
Yeah, I thought I remembered you sharing that before.
So maybe God's just trying to say like,
he wants you to continue to focus on your healing
and just kind of stay in this vein,
if you will, for a little while.
And then I love what you said.
I think it's so true that so many times
we can decree something, we can speak it out,
but so often we don't actually like kind of live that out
in our day-to-day because we don't believe it
down in our heart.
And so I love that you shared that.
Thank you, Joyce, so much for going.
Always appreciate you.
And we're gonna be praying for you about that.
Do you mind one more, it's very quick about rebellion.
Sure.
Okay, it's about the second I shared with my group
is that I was maybe still in my heart,
actually, I admit, I still live angry at a spiritual leader.
I don't wanna say who-
It's okay, yeah, you don't need to.
Yeah, so because somebody told me that
if you continue to say this,
it'll be opening for the devil to attack me.
So just saying to me,
God knows who hurt you and blah, blah, blah this.
But it's through this last single,
he says we need to confess that.
Anyway, I'm gonna confess, I need healing,
because yeah, I was very surprised that person just-
Yeah, so you're gonna forgive that person for hurting you
is what you're gonna do regarding them.
And you're gonna write on the paper,
that's your private paper,
you don't need to show that to anyone.
You can write out that I forgive
and you would write their name
and you wanna write specifically,
what are you forgiving them for?
So ladies, not general statements necessarily
and not that that's wrong,
but you wanna be specific, right?
And then what you need to confess
is the anger that you've been participating in.
You know, and remember-
As I was just saying a little bit ago,
you know, we have sadness, we have frustration,
you know, then it can turn to bitterness, resentment,
then the anger, anger can go to wrath.
There's all kinds of levels there.
And if you're in the anger place,
most likely you have sadness underneath of there,
as well as maybe some bitterness
regarding what they did or said.
And so just be sure to repent for those things.
Can, you know, you just confessed it to us,
praise the Lord, you did a great job.
But as you confess that and really ask the Lord again,
like, is it just about this person?
Because sometimes it is just about
what this one person did to us.
But ladies, sometimes it also links back to other people
and other situations.
And that's why we really struggle to get over stuff.
All right, great job, Joy.
Thank you again.
Jennifer, go ahead.
Hi.
Can you hear me?
Hi.
Okay.
So I wanna confess that a couple of months ago,
I, my heart got involved with somebody
and I ended up, yeah, not keeping the boundaries
that I had for myself.
And yeah, I'm not proud of it.
And I also, when I realized God was, you know,
God was very clear for me to come out of it.
And I, it's not been a quick like cutoff.
It's been a back and forth, back and forth.
And I was not very proud of that either.
But I thank God that I feel like God has just given me
freedom from that right now.
And I feel like I'm almost fully out of it.
And I just, yeah, I, but God has taught me a lot
about my wounds and the lies that I was believing
through how I showed up in this relationship.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
I'm gonna do kind of like a popcorn
so I can get as many of you all in.
And then I might throw in some coaching as well.
We'll see how many we get through.
Jennifer, do you wanna go first?
We'll see how many we get through.
Jennifer, thank you for sharing.
Angelique, go ahead.
Hi, so what we have spoken about,
I think I don't want to confess.
I feel like the Lord just recently
has been dealing with me just about,
and it's also partly due to a devotional
that I've been reading about the fear of the Lord,
just kind of holding onto my own fears
instead of holding onto like a holy fear.
And kind of like the fear of not getting married,
the fear of not, of saying single,
the fear of not being enough,
kind of like holding onto those fears
instead of allowing a holy fear to be preeminent in my life.
So that's what I had confessed.
And also just kind of like the fear and kind of like the worry
which I think is a threat for me
of doing things incorrectly.
And if I'll make one mistake,
I texted him or I didn't text him,
either way he's going to uproot God's plan,
which I think is just more based on fear of my insecurities
instead of trusting in God
and knowing that he could cover my mistakes.
That's what we talked about when we were in the groups.
And then afterwards, I just kind of come to mind,
because I've been in this phase for a while
just because I'm also in school.
So just timing-wise, it's been hard for me
to kind of do everything in the time that I need to.
So I think just also confessing that,
that I haven't been probably putting in as much time
as I need to with this kind of
where we talk about distractions,
because I should have been through phase one already.
So I think I have to confess that too.
I want to kind of help you there
just because you have that lie that if you make one mistake,
you're going to mess something up.
And so I want to encourage you
to not necessarily feel like you have to confess
for not getting through phase one
at a certain amount of time,
because it is a big deal when you all have school
and some of y'all have jobs
and understanding that your journey is important
and the hurdles that you're getting over on your process
and the fact that you're continuing is a really big win.
And so I appreciate what you shared,
but I want to make sure the enemy is not using that
to kind of go right into that lie
that you're already struggling with,
that doing one thing wrong is going to kind of
take God's grace or that situation away or whatever,
because you're doing a great job and you're here
and you're still showing up Angelique and that's amazing.
So way to go on that.
I appreciate you sharing.
I'm gonna go to Anna.
Anna Smith, if you can share.
Hi.
So I wanted to confess,
well, it started with jealousy,
and then in the group,
I realized that I also needed to confess unbelief and anger.
Oh God, I'm gonna cry.
Okay.
But similar to what Angelique was saying,
I feel the fear that God has forgotten me,
that am I not gonna get married?
Are these things that I want,
are they not gonna happen?
And like you were saying,
there's a lot of sadness that comes.
And then with the sadness comes anger
and all of these other feelings.
And I was in a relationship with someone
and I have to see him regularly because we work together.
And so when he interacts,
whenever I see him interact with other women,
I get really jealous.
And then it makes me feel insecure.
Like, oh, well, maybe if I looked like this person,
if I was like this, if I was different,
if I was a number of other things.
And I'm like,
there's so many things.
And at the root of it,
I'm just like,
I really have to believe that God has better for me
and he has the best.
But my unbelief is something that I struggle with
because I'm like something you said last week
when you were like,
God is, he's not,
I think you said he's not playing with you
or toying with you or something to that effect.
Yeah, he's not a trickster.
Right.
And it really resonated with me
because I feel that way often.
And so those are the things that I need to
kind of repent of,
repent completely of.
Man, I really appreciate you sharing that.
And ladies, I really wanna encourage you.
I know it can be hard
when you start to experience emotions
when you're sharing in the group
or even in your small breakouts.
I wanna encourage you that if you feel that, let it out.
Don't try to hide that from each other
or from us.
And I just,
and not that she was doing that intentionally,
but I know like,
just I've been in your seat before
and the Lord really taught me,
cause as a young girl,
I was made to feel like I had to hide my emotions
all the time.
Like to the point that I would go to the garage to cry
in the garage, behind the garage,
to the back of our yard.
I never felt like I could cry
and be safe in my,
inside my house for probably various reasons.
Some of which I still don't even know all of them.
But you know, when I got to a safe place
and I could let that out,
man, it was so healing.
And some of you,
I think Lori's on again tonight.
She was here this afternoon.
You know, when people say things over us,
like you're too sensitive or,
you know, and you're like reprimanded for your emotion.
Now, of course, yes,
we all need to learn how to have,
you know, boundaries,
even at times regarding our emotions.
We can't just emote all the time, right?
But here's the thing.
Some of you were not allowed to,
or you got in trouble for it, like I said,
or spoken harshly to because you had emotions.
And so you never really got to kind of mature in those areas
and actually feel what you felt
without it feeling bad or wrong.
And so here, this is like your safe place.
This is like a sanctuary for you, if you will,
to feel what comes up.
Some of you, if you feel numb,
I want you to pay attention to that too.
As Jackie shares, if you get to the end of week two
and you're still feeling numb,
like completely, like you're not feeling anything,
we really wanna encourage you to go back
to the beginning of week one.
Why?
Well, because some of you have been hurt for so long.
I mean, you've pushed things down for so long
that it's gonna take a little while
for you to feel again, okay?
It doesn't mean you're bad
and you're getting reprimanded.
Go back to week one.
That's not what it's like.
It's because we love you
and we know that you need to kind of
have that extra unpacking time, if you will,
unwrapping, you know,
where the Holy Spirit can just kind of help you
step into feeling again.
All right?
All right.
Samantha, go ahead.
Anna, thanks for sharing.
Appreciate you so much.
I was hesitant to-
share, but I felt like I needed to. This was a common theme for our group as well,
but for myself, I just want to repent for my rebellion. I want to repent for my anger,
my bitterness, my grudges, my defensiveness, my rude words, my lack of self-control.
What comes to mind are my parents, which also led to outside rebellion, anger, bitterness,
but the root of it was just the relationship with my parents for how they treated me,
for how other people treated me, for the lack of time that maybe my parents took to understand me
if I was intense or difficult, being looked over or a second choice from others,
and then this spirit of rebellion and anger also was a topic in our group with Maria and with Aaron,
so I just wanted to also include them. I love this that you shared this,
Samantha. I'm so glad that you chose to share. I really want to point out something you said
there right at the end. You said second choice of others. I feel like there's something on that
for you, and what I mean when I say that, ladies, what I mean is I want you to look a little closer
at that this week with the Lord. I want you to talk to Him about it. I want you to ask Him to
reveal to you, Samantha, the first time you felt like you were someone's second choice,
and you might automatically have things pop up in your mind, but be sure to still ask the Lord
when's the first time you felt that way, and let Him come into those places and heal that,
and I'm so sorry that you went through some difficulties with your parents. I want to
encourage you to do the forgiveness prayer sheets regarding them, specifically a
different sheet for each one of them, and write the different things that you're going to forgive
them for, and asking the Lord to help you in that process is going to be really important, okay?
Okay, thank you. You're welcome. Alina, go ahead.
Hi. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize my turn was coming. Oh, that's all right. I was finishing
some dinner. It's been so good to talk about this topic. I've been a little bit feeling kind
of stuck this past week, and I don't know. I felt the need to confess again just sexual struggles
that my ex and I used to have, even though we broke up a little while ago, and I don't know.
Just after the break, I just felt kind of lost in the, like, space a little bit sometimes.
I'm usually able to kind of get a grip and find my purpose again. What am I getting up
in the morning for, or what do I want to rebuild or go after? I've been feeling like
really hard to get a grip of that and put boundaries with people, especially with my
family that I live with and baby nephew, and also hard to believe for greater things because
I had started declaring that to believe that God says that I'm a queen, and then when people
started recognizing that, I freaked out, and I didn't feel like I could carry the weight of that.
Like, I don't know. I just want to stay hidden, and I feel like maybe there's some trauma
from the relationship stuff, the breakups and things not happening.
Yeah, I think Alina, the hidden, the staying hidden, I think it's way before the relationships.
I really do. Typically, when people want to go into hiding to that depth,
there's somewhere internally that they find safety in, you know, going to a secret place,
if you will. Like, so I don't know if, like, and it's okay if nothing comes up right now,
but if when you were younger, if when you were growing up, if things were going on,
if parents were fighting, or even if they weren't fighting, but if you were afraid at any time,
if you had a place that you went in your house to hide and feel safe, it's not a bad thing,
but what happens when we do that as kids, some of us, if that is never healed, actually do that
even as adults when something
I don't know if any of you ever did this, but I definitely like, even when I was dating
my spiritual daughter's dad, when he would like argue and he would just like yell and
say mean things, like I would always go sit beside the bed on the floor.
And that was kind of like a safe spot in his house.
And I've done that like as long as I can remember.
And so, you know, when I looked at that, even as an adult, like, why do I keep doing this?
The Lord just kept talking to me about like, this is one of the ways you find security
and safety.
It's like hiding in that brokenness.
Because I was ashamed because of things he was saying to me and about me and his daughters
could hear.
And so I went to the place that felt safe.
And that wasn't wrong, but we can also do that like physically, like not show up in
the world in our fullness.
Because if someone sees us in our joy, sees us in our, you know, these good things, then
what does that mean?
There's a quote, and I'll see if I can find it, ladies.
Probably not tonight, but tomorrow, I'll put it up in the group if I find it.
But it's, it's basically like some of us fear more that we have greatness within us.
And that's not the whole quote, but like, genuinely, some of us, that's what scares
us the most.
You know, and so what I want to encourage you, thank you for sharing what you did.
We're going to keep praying for you regarding the sexual struggles.
And I want you to know it takes time.
Okay, genuinely, overcoming sexual struggles for most people.
Some people, I'm not saying people are never automatically delivered from that.
But I haven't met many people that are, I believe 100% that there's something to us
having to learn to walk it out, and really establish that freedom, because there's strength
in that.
We get confidence in that.
And yeah, like, I'm not struggling with it anymore.
It's just I felt the need to confess because I thought maybe it's affecting my ability
to like step out, or maybe something in the spirit that's blocking.
I don't know.
I was just like, maybe guilt or I don't know.
Okay, well, I'm so glad that you're not struggling with it anymore.
That's awesome.
Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
And just kind of clearing that out just to make sure the enemy wasn't having an open
door at all.
But you may want to if you haven't already, make sure you do the soul ties to break all
of that.
Okay.
All right.
Awesome.
You're welcome.
Damaris, go ahead.
Sorry.
Oh, that's all right.
Okay.
Hi.
Yes.
I want to confess tonight about a lot of those things that you weren't mentioning.
I applies to, to me, like the critical spirit and negative thinking.
negative for no reason, I don't know.
And also angry inside. I have my daughter, she just turned 27 and she lives with me,
with my two grandchildren. And she, you know, as she was growing up, especially in the teenage
years, she was very defiant and she's been very defiant. And so it was being hard to live with
her. And it gets better, especially if I don't say much, you know, but I've been resentful,
like when is, because I have prayed about her finding her own place and not being dependent
on me. And, and so I've been angry that when, when am I going to live in my own house as I
want to, because even though I'm in my own house, I feel like I cannot live like I want to,
because my daughter and my granddaughters are here. She, you know, she likes to speak with
profanity and stuff like that. And, and not that I'm, I don't say profanity, but I'm not saying
that I'm perfect. Right. But so I've been angry inside for a long time, you know, it has got
better because I used to be very resentful. Like even when I come home and I see her car,
Oh, she's there. You know, it's like,
Um, it's to get is better now. I don't feel that way now. But she's pregnant with her
third child right now. And it's I really I really want her here. You know, it's this.
Does she have somewhere else to go? No, she's looking for a place. It's not like she wants
to be here either, you know, but it's hard sometimes to she just started working. And
so she's trying to look for a place to live. And I'm just praying that she can get a place
to live. But um, mainly is because she can't afford to go on her own, you know, and bad
choices that she has made and all of that. And so she's here with me. And, and that I
know that it has affected me because I've been angry inside. And I don't want that,
you know, of course, I don't want that. And sometimes I don't know how to, to heal that
I feel like she needs to go for me to heal. You know what I mean? I feel like she's almost
30. And she's still living with mommy's time to cut the umbilical cord, you know? Yeah.
And so here's the thing, Damaris. Okay, so this might be hard, but I'm going to give
it to you anyways. Okay. You need to pray about what boundaries you need to set with
her. Okay. Because not that I'm telling you to kick them out. I'm just saying it has to
start with you changing. Okay. I have, I have done that, but she straight tells me I'm not
going nowhere because I don't have to go. I don't have a place to go. So it's not for
your pretty face. I'm here. So I just not going to go until I find something. I mean,
she just tells me that. I mean, uh, like I said, this is, she's very bold like that
to tell me things and she's not going to go. She's not going to go. I mean, and I don't
know what to do. And I said, there's better days, you know, it's not like we're constantly
arguing or anything like that. It's just that I'm, I feel like it's my time. You know, I've
been there done that. Is this a home that you own? Yes. Okay. I might, will you post
in the group? I might want to share some ideas with you on how to just pray specifically
so that that moves forward. Okay. Because, um, I'm concerned. I under, it's tricky because
she's your daughter and those are your grandkids. Okay. So I understand that 100%, but I'm also
concerned that she is the authority in that house and it's your home. Okay. So we need
to work on that and let's do that through some coaching because we need to get to the
root of where this started with the two of you. And let's work on healing that because
it sounds like this started with her when she was younger and that the two of you have
kind of been in this place. And so what I really believe is that God's wanting to heal
the core of your relationship with your daughter. And as that shift happens, I think that she will,
she'll move on. I think that that's going to cause a shift because you're going to start to shift
and you're not going to show up the same way anymore. And I believe you 100% that it's already
been changing and that y'all aren't, you know, maybe at odds as much, but I think God wants to
do a lot more there. Yeah. And I think also that the reason that we don't fight as much is also
because I don't say things as much because if I know, if I tell her some things, she will,
will start an argument and it's like, I'm tired, you know? Yeah. And, um, and things like that.
Let's work on, you know, again, let's work on talking through that a little bit in the,
in the group so I can coach you more specifically. So pray into that, pray into where did this start
with her and ask the Lord specifically like, Lord, what, what is the core that I need like
healing in regarding my daughter? Okay. So it might be forgiving her even when she was younger
and she was rebelling and there was something that she did that hurt you. I mean, we'd got
to wait for the Lord to reveal that, but come in and post in the group. And then, um, also pray into,
um, ask the Lord. And again, he'll show you, ask him what boundaries you need to set.
Okay. Okay. All right. And we'll chat through it more in the group.
And where do I post in that? So you can put in, uh, when you go in the community tab,
there's one tab that says, ask a coach. Okay. Yeah. Can you put it in there for me? Okay.
I'll see them on any tabs ladies, but I do, I go to the ask a coach first.
Okay. Thank you. All right.
You're welcome, thank you so much for sharing.
Lori, go ahead.
I was trying to unmute.
Oh, that's all right.
Yeah, the thing the Holy Spirit really highlighted
was the whole hiding thing.
That's why I'm here, it's super painful.
And I know that it's something still that's related
to my feeling of worthiness.
And you asked the question like,
when was the first time that you noticed
that you were hiding?
And I'm like, wow, where was I hiding in my house?
And just talking about like emotional security
and abandonment.
And I think I hid behind my doll.
I had a really big Raggedy Ann,
she was the same size as me.
And I literally talked through her.
I said things through that doll that she was feisty,
that Raggedy Ann.
I never felt like I could actually say these things myself.
But I'm like, oh my word,
like I don't think I hid anywhere in the house.
I'm like, that doll.
This is huge.
And so one of the things you just said
that I think is really important,
you said, I talked through the doll.
And the doll was really feisty.
But you didn't say Lori was feisty.
Oh, they would think it was funny coming from the doll.
My parents would.
Okay.
But I never really felt heard.
So I think that's-
I didn't, the doll said things I didn't dare say.
Yeah, well, and so here's the thing,
this is why I'm kind of pointing that out even more,
is the Lord is gonna give you opportunities
in the days ahead to take your voice back.
It's not the doll's voice, it's yours.
It was always your voice.
And I understand why you did that when you were young.
A lot of kids will do that
if they feel like they're not being heard.
And then when the parents think it's funny
and they still don't feel heard,
it can create all kinds of heartache.
And then that convergence never happens,
like you stay separated from yourself.
And so let's pray into that more,
ask the Lord to help you remember the first time
that you had the doll talk for you.
And again, ladies, remember when you're doing this,
it's okay if you're not 100% sure if it's the first time.
Just let the Lord show you what he shows you
and go with that.
And then if the Lord wants to show you more, he will.
And then once you see that memory of that first time
where you let the doll speak for you,
I wanna encourage you to,
I guess really what's just come into my spirit
is come out of alignment with that it's the doll's voice.
Like just say, Lord, thank you for helping me
get my voice back.
And that I'm choosing Lori tonight is saying that,
like just really own that that was your voice
in that moment.
Yeah, well now, so that ended up like I got
for Christmas and birthdays, three more large dolls.
And so I had four large dolls total
and my mom made the Raggedy Ann
and then she made a Raggedy Andy.
And while we're on the subject of personalities
showing up through dolls, like Raggedy Ann
was super feisty and outspoken
and the male doll was really weak.
And did that-
I think I was, you know, it goes back
to that whole submission thing.
It was probably my way of making the man weak
when I felt like I had to come under authority
when my father was not emotionally.
Yeah, yeah.
And for those of you that,
so we were gonna talk about submission tonight,
but I'm gonna bring that for next week
and I'll just combine it with the other material.
We did talk about submission this afternoon some,
but man, this has been really good
that y'all are sharing and I still want Marlena to go.
But Lori, you're onto some really important things here,
okay?
So be sure-
It sounds so silly
because it was- It doesn't.
It was my play time, but I'm like, oh my word.
Well, and it doesn't, you know, sound silly at all.
And not everybody that has a doll,
I wanna make sure everybody understands this,
not everybody that has a doll
has that doll kind of being their voice for them.
But what she's sharing is a very,
specific separation that happened where she didn't feel like she could actually say or
feel.
And so the doll was doing it for her.
Okay.
And so that's why it's important.
So she's got to converge back with the little girl, Lori.
Okay.
I talked to y'all about this loving on the little girl, you, when God shows you that
initial time, I encourage you to ask, say, Hey Jesus, can you show me where you were
at in this situation and help me hear what you're saying about me.
Maybe he wants to comfort you if you were sad or upset, and maybe he wants to minister
to you as a little girl in that moment, you know?
So let's just, let's see what he does and see what he shows you.
But man, thanks so much for sharing.
This is ladies.
This is the beauty of coming to these live sessions and sharing.
Lori came this afternoon and there were a couple of things that I, I mentioned to her
after she shared, and then she's already getting additional revelation on that.
Okay.
Same thing happened in the group when y'all post.
If I can share one really powerful thing that the Lord showed me about hiding, and that
was Psalm 91.
And I don't know if you mentioned it in the first, but you know, the whole hiding thing
is like, I'm having a revelation that I can hide in a camp of fear, or I can hide in a
camp of love, which is God.
And Psalm 91 is like, when you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden
in the strength of the most high.
He's the hope that holds me and the stronghold to shelter me.
The only God for me and my great confidence.
It even goes around and says, you'll protect me from false accusation, which I very much
relate with.
And you know, there, there's a lot, there's a lot in there.
It even says, I hold you secure before my safe and secure before my face at the end
of the psalm.
And I'm just like, wow, like hiding.
So like, we're meant to be hidden in him.
We're meant to find safety in him.
And there's a hiding that's actually feels like there's a holy form of hiding.
Oh, for sure.
And if you remember, that safety thing is, obviously we all need to feel that safety,
but I didn't feel safe at all emotionally, but there is this safety and this hiding within
the Lord.
That's actually like, sometimes we say the kingdom is upside down.
I think it's right side up.
Yes.
Like this, but like, we like, we think we see rightly, but then like, and I'm like,
wow, that just flipped it right side up.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, I can hide, but not in my fear of being known, I can hide
in my fear of the Lord, not even fear of the Lord, but I can hide in this safe place and
I can, I can be hidden when I go out.
I can be hidden in every conversation.
I can be hidden all the time.
And I'm like, oh, I'm into that type.
Yes.
That brings life.
It is.
And, and ladies, one of the things that I did say this afternoon, um, in correlation
with what she's talking about is as I was, I don't even remember if I was responding
to someone, but I saw like God holding up a shield and he was protecting the person
from accusation.
And um, you know, there is this reminder for all of you that God is our defender.
He's our protector.
He's that ever present help.
He's there to protect and, and hide us in those things.
Lori, thank you so much for sharing that.
I'm going to go to Marlena real quick and we need to start to close, but I want you
to have time to share Marlena.
So we'd love to hear what you have to say.
I want to just introduce myself.
It's my first year.
I did watch the replays, I think the last two.
And I really enjoyed them.
I guess I just was kind of slowly making my way in.
And so just being familiar with what was happening and I was just enjoying it.
But saying that hello, I just wanted to come in and share some of the things I shared at
the breakout was just me.
I've been kind of God showing me out the walls that I built up because of being a single
mom for some time, you have to do a lot.
And, and take care of a lot and some minds that if I don't get it done, then it's not
going to get done that I need to do it.
I need to fit.
So right now there's a lot of transition in my life.
So God's taking me to surrender in a whole different wedding, learning how to be vulnerable,
learning that just allowing myself to be in a group where I'm just, and, and just God
just bringing up, he's just been bringing up even in the replays, just so much that
that was just, he's bringing it all up to the surface.
So this week I've been kind of really emotional and I know it's part of the process, but I
told God I'm in.
I'm in, and I know I need this and always been, you know, I had to be strong to make
sure everybody else was okay, but I'm grateful that I feel like he's saying, this is your
time.
This is your time to just, just, just, I get to focus on me now.
I raised my kids and they're beautiful and wonderful and they're doing wonderfully.
I miss them, but I know God is saying, this is my time to heal in my time to prepare for
what he has for me.
So taking those walls down and being vulnerable has been a hard thing to do, but I'm here.
I'm great.
You're here.
I love it.
Marlena.
Gosh, it's so good to see you.
I hope you feel good being seen seriously, ladies.
I hope all of you feel the blessing of being seen while you're here and that you keep allowing
yourself to be seen.
Your voices matter.
When you said, Marlena, I had to be strong, man, I felt a wave of the Holy spirit and
I feel like that's resonating with some other single moms and even some other ladies that
maybe you're not moms, but you felt that in another way.
Maybe it was as a young girl, you had to be strong.
That's what the enemy told you because no one else would be strong for you.
No one else would protect you.
You had to do it or it wouldn't get done.
That came up on the session this afternoon.
And so when Marlena was saying that, I'm like, man, that's coming up again.
And so I want to pull that out of what she said and encourage you, Marlena, and anyone
else that resonates with that to really ask the Lord these next few weeks, who can you
ask for help?
I want the Lord to reveal to you who are some people that you can intentionally ask them
to help you, even if you can do it yourself, that you're going to ask them to help you.
Okay.
Cause you're going to start to come out of alignment and agreement with, I have to be
the strong one or it won't get done.
You're coming out of alignment with that now in agreement, and you're going to start to
I can depend on God to help me and I can trust other people to help me too.
And here's the tricky thing.
Sometimes ladies, they still don't help, but you have to not partner with that lie.
Okay.
Super important.
And so it might even be like you go to a Home Depot or Walmart or some kind of store and
you know, there's something up a little too high where you can't reach it.
And I don't know about you all, but sometimes I would jump and I would try to get that stuff
Cause I'm short.
I'm like five for you all.
I can't reach very much.
And I would stand on the shelves hoping that they wouldn't like fall.
Yeah.
That was me.
Yeah.
I don't do that.
Y'all.
I will even walk to the front of the store now to ask someone to help me.
I need help.
Can you help me?
Yeah.
And it was really great when I was saying the one thing I'd show me, go ahead, go ahead.
I think we just have a little delay.
You're breaking up just a little bit.
So sometimes I don't know.
The one thing God showed me in this too is this.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's kind of breaking up a little bit on my side.
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
I can hear you now.
Okay.
Um, part of it too, was God showing me that in this time I've been studying there and
God showing me the era of preparation as well.
And so, um, showing me that receiving and being in a place of, of surrender and learning
to receive from others is also part of that femininity and walking in that and myself
for the next season.
So it's just been a whole lot.
I'm just like, okay, God, I just feel like all this emotion, but it's, I know that.
That's what it's part of this process.
And so I'm just trying to be in it
and not be afraid to just let the walls down
and be vulnerable.
Yes.
And ladies, if you didn't hear at the beginning
the housekeeping, Supernatural Saturday,
definitely want y'all to listen to that.
Jackie talks about the in-between season,
that silent Saturday, how that can often be
that season of preparation and the process
and all those things.
I believe that will help you all.
Even if you've already heard it,
would be a good one to listen to again.
Hope, I'm laughing at your comment there.
Hope, yeah, be a damsel.
That's right, y'all.
And it really has been awesome when,
I was gonna say, when I was single,
I wanna share this with y'all lighthearted as we end.
I'm gonna put the activation in the group
this week too, y'all.
I just think it's gonna be easier
than trying to keep y'all on here later.
I'll put that up in the group.
It'll be, guess what?
It's gonna be under the community tab all,
and it will be pinned to the top.
And I'll literally put as the header of the text,
activation for this week, okay?
And I'll give y'all instructions
and I'll tell you what to do.
And yeah, I'll let you know that there's examples of it
already in the group and that kind of thing.
But I wanna say this one funny thing
before we pray and close tonight.
So, I was pretty good at just doing things
for myself all the time.
And it was interesting when I did start leaning
into asking people for help
and kind of really leaning into that divine femininity
where like, oh, like this is kind of nice.
I like people doing things for me.
Like I don't have, and so, you know,
the little things like that shift would cause,
and y'all, I'm not kidding.
It was like everywhere I would go,
like people were, even women just opening doors for me.
Like, it was like, I didn't even,
it came to a point where I didn't even have to ask people
to do the stuff for me.
I was like, Lord, what's happening here?
Well, it's because he wanted me to see
that when we start to partner with,
hey, Lord, I'm gonna let you and other people help me,
men and women alike.
I'm gonna be friendly.
I'm gonna smile at people.
I'm gonna make eye contact.
Okay, I'm gonna give you one activation.
I haven't given this for a while.
I didn't give this this afternoon.
I'll put this in the group too.
I just thought of it.
I want you all to start practicing looking at people,
making eye contact, smiling, men and women.
Yes, both.
Some of you all are terrified of women.
You have massive authority, submission issues with women.
Some of you, it's men.
I used to walk past guys on the street and look down.
I had a hard time looking at guys in the eye.
And that, you don't realize how much that impacts
how you show up in a romantic dating.
Like even if it's not a relationship yet,
but even when you go on a date,
if there's a lack of confidence in us, it shows up.
So let's practice it now.
So go out this next week,
you know, let people open doors for you,
open doors for other people,
do for other people what you want done to you,
but like, don't get in the driver's seat again.
Cause some of y'all,
that's the whole point of this activation
is letting people help you because guess what?
You don't have to be the strong one anymore.
You don't.
Give yourself permission to get out of alignment with that.
Okay?
Father, thank you so much for this amazing group of women.
Thank you, God,
for everything that you're already doing in us tonight.
God, thank you for revealings,
for healing that are helping us repent and confess
and come out of alignment with things
that are not good for us.
Thank you, God,
for helping us to partner with you
in the heavenly perspective of things that are true
and noble and lovely and of good report,
things that are above only and not beneath God
that we don't have to partner with the negativity
and the unhealthy aspects of life anymore.
God, thank you that you'll show us people this week,
God, that you want us to reach out to,
to specifically ask if they will come
and help us do something.
Even if it's to come and help us pick out a dress
at a shop or whatever it is, Lord,
maybe it's to plant flowers.
Maybe it's to hang something in our house.
Maybe it's to clean our car.
Lord, that we would allow people to come into our story,
into our lives and help us.
Lord, that we would make room for you
to come and do a really amazing work.
Give us the courage to make eye contact with people,
to smile, to show up in the world,
to not hide or to pull back in any way any longer.
We just thank you, God,
for awakening us to the fullness of everything
that you have for us.
And we just thank you for supernatural breakthroughs this week and Jesus name. Amen. So next week you all we're going to talk about submission
On the evening session. I'll talk about something else too. So I think I know already what I'll combine with it, but
Be praying for each other this week
Just even if it's a little prayer like Lord
Will you just continue to bless all the women in the phase one group with me?
Just like you know as the Lord leads you to okay. God bless you. I love you all
We'll see you later and in the group as well. Bye