All right. Welcome, ladies. It is April 22nd. And today is Tuesday. So it is your phase
2 live check-in call here at 1 o'clock Eastern. I'm here in Texas, so it is 12 o'clock noon
my time. I see a few people popping in. Perfect. Hi, Megan. Thank you for turning your camera
on. Ladies, as you gradually get in, please make sure to put that camera on so I can see
your beautiful faces. So, yes, now I'm getting lots more people in. This is good. All right.
So, yes, do I have any newbies today? Heidi, hi, welcome. Anybody else? I think everybody
else. Kim, good to see you. Well, welcome, ladies. So those of you that might not know
me, my name is Karla Johnson. I'm one of your coaches here at last year's Single in Phase
2. I happen to be a success story from Jackie's program. I found her in the midst of the 2020
chaos. And after working through the hard work and being in the program for a couple
years, I did meet my husband. And so we've now been married a little over a year and
a half. So I've been around the block here and last year's Single for quite some time.
So just understand and know that I'm here to be your biggest cheerleader and to know
that I've been where you've been. And I had many of the same questions and hard work stuff
that I had to go through, dating experiences, you name it, I probably experienced it. So
I'm so glad to be here. Just kind of go over a couple replay or not replay, excuse me. I'm
reading things and not really watching what I'm doing here. I'm going to go over a couple
housekeeping items is what I meant to say. And then I see Stephanie is on here and I know she
doesn't have much time, but she has been in Phase 2 for a minute and really showing up. And so
we had a really good moment of breakthrough, I think last week, and we went back to the app
and I wanted to be able to process with her a little bit before she has to jump off. And I
think it'll be a good example for you ladies, especially those of you that are new, understand
and see how important it is to kind of show up in the program, not just in these live calls,
but also in the app as well, because that's where a lot of the breakthrough happens is these calls
and in the app and kind of they work together and it helps us be able to coach you better.
So just a couple things, make sure that you're checking all the tabs in the app. So your course
work, your replays, the resource tabs, all of that stuff. Make sure that you are staying up to date
with one video a week. That's the course content video. That's not the replays because we're also
going to ask that you watch replays if you don't make it live. So make sure that you're doing that
and staying up to date as best as you can, especially Supernatural Saturday,
all of that. So if you have questions about that, don't hesitate to ask. And then one other thing
I do, I've kind of been noticing a couple posts in the app as well as in the chat in our calls.
Please refrain from creating any posts that promote or link any authors, ministers, books.
I'm trying to think here, influencers, pastors, coaches, anything of that nature.
We just don't have the capacity to vet their library of work and we want to make sure that
it lines with what we do here at Last Year Single. Also, when you're replying to comments
in the app, just go ahead and reply to the actual post. I know for a while I was having you ladies
reply to the actual coach where there's that little reply button. Just reply to the actual
post. And actually, I'm noticing is we can track it a lot better. Myself and Ebony are able to go
in on the back end and really see when people respond there, especially after. What will happen
is you'll make a post, a coach will, especially if it's under an ask a coach, will reply. And then
if you go and reply to us, just reply under your post. Okay, I hope that makes sense. We
need to clarify it. We can open the floor for questions here in a little bit.
Speaking of which, if you have a question today, let's make sure that things are short,
brief and powerful. All right, we only got about an hour and 15 minutes for the call.
So if I took everybody's question.
Jen and each person gave me five minutes of backstory, five to ten minutes of backstory,
I'm not going to be able to get to everybody. And I really do want to keep true to time and
also make sure that we have the opportunity for you all to come and ask your questions here. So
if you could do us a huge favor of being able to kind of just get to your question and then as I
work with you or if you're ever on a call with Ebony, we're able to kind of dialogue back and
forth. Okay. And then we can always pull more details if we need it. Okay. If you have more
than one question, leave it until the second or more question until after everybody's at least
asked their one question. And then by all means, if you have more and there's time, we will get to
those. If we don't, for some reason, get to your question, you can always jump on the eight o'clock
call tonight with Ebony, or you can make a post and they ask a coach section of our app and we
will respond there as well. Okay. I think that about covers it. I'm going to pray real quick.
And then Stephanie, I have your post from our chat pulled up. So I'm going to kind of debrief
everybody and kind of cover that and then we'll dig into that. Okay. All right. So Heavenly Father,
I thank you for this time together today, Lord. Lord, I just, I ask for your presence to be here.
I ask for, you know, just impart your wisdom and as well as being a comforter to us here as we
navigate these waters of dating and newly dating with new material. Lord, I just ask that you
continue to speak wisdom to us, give us comfort and continue to allow us to be vulnerable and
so that we can get as much breakthrough as you desire. Lord, just continue to teach us, show us,
heal us, grow us. In your son's name we pray. Amen. All right. So I got Stephanie's here.
So if you guys were not on, if you ladies were not on last week, we had some pretty good
breakthrough with Stephanie where she kind of came to the understanding that she was really
struggling with the overwhelming feeling of the dating process. Okay. And so, and when is it a no?
I is, is kind of what I gather is it's a, we always say it's a yes until it's a no.
And that's kind of where she was finding herself stuck. And so what I want to preface and why I'm,
I'm pulling Stephanie's question is because I really think it's a good model of how this program
really can work. And so even when it got uncomfortable, she still walked this process out.
And because she's continued to show up and continue to walk this process out, we're able to
uncover more breakthrough for her. And so she, she was, you know, diligently coming to these live
calls, kind of expressing the concerns that she's having. And last week I felt like we had
really, really great breakthrough where she's like, I just feel like I have to get permission.
And she was able to share with us just some of her past relationships and where she was finding
herself stuck that she was saying in relationships that really, she probably needed to pull out
way sooner than she did. And so she was struggling with this idea of it's a yes until it's a no,
because that's where she felt she was struggling the most is that she was staying in too long.
And so when she was coming, she comes to these calls, just like, I almost feel like I have to
have permission. And so I asked her lots of questions about that, not lots, but I asked
her to kind of process some things with the Lord. And she came into the app and process some more.
And I think we're even getting into some more breakthrough here. And so I'm going to
just kind of overview what you last shared with me, Stephanie, that I haven't responded to yet.
And then I'm going to get your feedback on what, what you were able to process with the Lord with
that. So I kind of started asking her question about where, what, what were some of her beliefs,
what was it rooted in? And then also to bring up maybe memories, like asking the Lord to kind of
reveal certain memories to her to allow some of that breakthrough. And so one thing she was saying,
she goes, so far, she thinks she has a scarcity mindset. So she's not sure where the roots of
that is. She says she also was never allowed to say that her dad was angry when he yelled
or to be upset about it. Instead, her mom rebranded it. And so, well, he's just frustrated
and we just need to excuse it and not be upset about it. So I thought that was really,
really important. And I'm wondering, I'm, I'm going to.
continue to go through, but I'm, I am going to leave time for you
to kind of share what else you've been processing. Then she
started going into some of the details about the two
relationships she had in the past. So, and I'm going to try
to maybe shorten it up a little bit for time. So there was one
guy, Johnny, who was in a significant amount of debt,
ladies, like $70,000 worth of debt, okay, from eBay purchases,
and he was continuing this behavior. And it sounds like he
was a hoarder. And you even shared that he boxes everywhere,
about, you know, he maybe had like, maybe two foot wide area
where you could kind of walk through his place. And she even
offered like to help him out with that. But then he was like,
very meticulous and needed to go through every little thing. And
but it was really stressful for her. So she saw some of these
things, but she still stuck it out with him. And then she also
knows he was very religious, that, you know, he, he was
really religious, but didn't really know the Holy Spirit. And
that he didn't think women were would are supposed to be
preachers. And that triggered her as well. So that was that
guy. Okay. And I'm guessing you were in that relationship for a
year with him, correct? Okay. And then there was this other
guy who she felt like she had to be his mom emotionally. Okay, and
so she kind of goes into where, again, like, he needed a lot of
like affirming. And, you know, he didn't respect your physical
boundaries. His uncle made inappropriate sexual comments
and never really stood up for her. And so again, she stayed in
that relationship for a while. And then she even, then she
would 70 what I thought was really interesting, is that you
went back and circled back to this. What I think is kind of
causing some roots this you were needing to get permission from
your your parents even about these relationships in order to
break things off. And so she needed their blessing, their
validation and to move on. And so help me walk through what
else you've processed this week.
Well, I was thinking I talked with my sister about it a little
bit because she just started this program. Yeah, so that's
kind of fun to be able to. So she's seeing things come up to
and you know, we are only like, 21 months apart. So we had a lot
of similar experiences. And she just pointed out as far as
asking permission. She was like, you know that you did you
remember how mom always like kind of became this other person
around grandpa? Like she wanted to people please him so much.
And she was his favorite. And she almost just became this
other person. And I didn't notice it to that extent. But
yeah, she was different around grandpa. And she would do
whatever, whatever it took to get gain his approval and to
stay in that favorite person spot. And interestingly, I was
his favorite granddaughter, because I don't know. I don't I
don't know. But Julia brought that up. And I was like, so she
thinks it's like a, she's like, they're talking about these
things being passed down generationally. She's like, I
think that's something that we need to break, you know, in our
in our line. And I was like, yeah, maybe, you know, so that's
one idea that I had. But also, it occurred to me to just with
asking permission, it's like, I've always looked, I've never
dealt with this, because I've always thought of it as like, in
Proverbs, when it says it's just wise to ask for wisdom, you
know, to ask people's opinions. So I've never really paid
attention to it, because I've always just figured, well,
that's just wisdom that Holy Spirit has given me, you know,
but I think there's like a shade of unhealthiness in it. And even
as a child, like I was the oldest child, and my mother
spanked me a total of one time in my entire life, when I was
little. And after that, I learned, you know, and I was
very much people pleasing very much mom specifically pleasing,
it's always been very difficult for me to go against my mom.
Just emotionally difficult for me to do that. So that was
something else that I kind of, that kind of occurred to me, as
well, when I was just thinking about this. So those are a
couple of things.
Yeah, so this is this is that process, ladies. So heartwork
never stops. Okay. And this, this dating process, as I know,
sometimes it can seem a little scary, but it really is going to
be another resurfacing, an area of healing. That's kind of what
we call discovery dating is that we're not just discovering what we like and
what we don't like,
but we're also discovering more about ourselves and how we show up in
relationship so we can heal some of those areas. And so I think that's what,
you know, is been a really,
probably a good breakthrough for you, Stephanie,
is that you're kind of starting to recognize.
And now we can start unpacking that and see, okay,
what lies are you believing and what is God's truth?
I would even encourage you to kind of even walk through this forgiveness
process, because again,
I like to go back to what you had shared last week of what I was just,
you know, reading this.
I think there's some significance in you not being able to
voice and have,
be able to label anything when your dad got angry,
you weren't allowed to have a feeling or feel a certain way about it.
Yeah.
And do you see how that correlates to now in relationship?
You have to go have someone tell you how to
feel about a person that you're dating and whether or not you should stay with
them or go,
you weren't able to really form your own opinion about someone, because again,
you you're seeing things in those past relationships that now in hindsight,
you're looking back and saying, okay,
these were things that were happening and that weren't, it wasn't good.
So how soon did those things surface in the
relationship? And how long,
how long were you in that relationship where you're like, okay, let's,
let's take the hoarder, for example.
He treated me really well, you know, which is again,
like looking at his good side, you know, I was like, wow,
he's just real amazing as far as how he treats me.
I found out about his hoarding about he let me see it about,
I think two and a half months in or three months in.
But because it was so, it was so vulnerable for him to show that I was like,
well, I can't break up with him now. And his mom even was like,
this was really hard for him to show you. So then I was like, oh, okay,
well let's, you know, I can't just break up with him because of this,
you know, he's, maybe he'll work on it, maybe whatever.
I'm not going to just break up with somebody because they have a yellow flag,
but where I think we are practicing and what we kind of teach you here at last
year single is everyone's going to have yellow flags and now it's,
it's whether or not those yellow flags turn red or they turn green.
So for example, with him,
I think you even offering and showing some, you know,
consideration and compassion of like,
let me help you with this and the fact that he wasn't even willing to
look there.
Well, we did try once and it was too stressful for him. He couldn't take it.
He was just, it, it really, he was,
he was just really stressed out because it wasn't the way that he wanted to do
it.
Was he ever willing to go and get help for it
outside of you being the one to help him?
Yes, but he didn't have any money. So, you know, that's something that you,
well, I don't know though, his siblings,
he has a lot of siblings and they offered to help him and he, they just never,
he just never got around to it.
I would say, you know, when people really want to work on themselves,
they're going to find ways. I mean, let's, let's look at this program here.
Like how many of you ladies have wanted to really help yourself and, and,
you know, step out of some of the things that maybe you were doing prior before
this program, like you ladies are here and you're showing up.
And so it's recognizing, you know, yes,
he was a great guy. He would treated you well.
But if there was this one area where he wasn't willing to work and grow and
work on himself, because I mean, at the end of the day,
are you going to want to marry someone that's going to hoard things in the
house? Like it made you uncomfortable, right?
Tiny houses. Like that's like, I don't do, I can't do clutter, you know,
at all. So that was, that was really stressful for me.
Even when I didn't see him being so stressed out about it.
Yeah. And I want to go back to, so again,
it's just recognizing some of those things. And so I just want to, you know,
would you have stayed in it longer if,
if you weren't unsure of yourself and being able to,
you needing to get permission or someone coming and saying, okay, no,
it's okay. Cause this is, this is not healthy.
And so earlier, I think,
early as the summer, I was like, yeah, I might need to break up with Johnny.
But then it was like, my mom was like, well, but why, but duh, duh, duh.
So she kind of.
Like, I was like, well, I mean, maybe we can just try it again.
You know, like, how do I, how do I get free of that?
I mean, I think a lot of it is going to, again, it goes back to
more of just processing through it.
It's recognizing what lies are you believing because of it?
Where, what's the root of that?
Like, why, why are you so tied to needing to get the permission and being able to
create those boundaries and saying, no, I'm going to do this.
So one thing that just came up, like just reminded me myself.
It's cause I can, you know, I can sometimes struggle with that too.
And I was in a relationship with someone that in this program, when I was in this
program and he was a really great guy and I, I might've shared this story.
You might've heard me share about him.
We had three dates.
We had a fourth date set up, super intentional, super great guy.
But there was just something that I felt like there was a no there.
And I was really unsure of myself.
I had a lot of people saying, oh, keep giving it a shot, keep giving a shot.
And then I had other people be like, no, this guy isn't for you.
I finally just had to make a decision.
I had to be bold and I had to make a decision before I made that decision
though, I really went to, I went, I went and went to prayer and I was like, okay,
Lord, I don't really know what to do with this.
I don't know what you're showing me.
I was, I was like, what am I supposed to do here?
And I'm like, I'm going to release this guy.
And I'm going to end things because I really feel that's
what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm worried that he's going to take it really hard.
I'm worried that, I mean, I was worried.
I was literally kicking my husband to the curb.
Like, I'm like, what if this is my spirit mate?
Cause ladies, some of you will experience that.
This is such a great guy, but I'm just not sure I'm there.
And then you're going to be afraid to kick them to the curb
because what if that's my only shot?
And I'm like, God, this can't be my only shot.
If it is, and I've messed something up, Lord, I trust that you're
going to, you're going to, you know, correct my GPS, whatever it is.
And so, you know, that really, I think for me, what, why that was
really helpful is because I had to be, I had to learn to trust myself
and be confident that I knew how to pick good men because I didn't do that before.
And I think that's where some of that stuff is coming up for you as well.
There's this, you don't have the, you don't have the confidence yet
because you're like, look, I, I held onto these guys.
I'm not really, I never know when to keep them and when to let them go.
And so I think you're going to practice having to build that confidence
muscle and know, okay, I can trust myself and I can trust God.
Cause we talked about that a little bit last week too, is do you have trust in
yourself and do you trust God that he's got your best interest at heart?
And so I think a lot of this all kind of wraps, wraps around.
I think there's again, more time for you to process, go to the Lord, ask the Lord,
you know, what are some things that, you know, what lies are you believing?
What are his truth?
I think there's probably some forgiveness that will take place.
I think it's really interesting that you shared about your mom because
you're, your mom was the one that was like, nope, you're not allowed.
She rebranded everything.
You're nope.
You're not allowed to say dad's angry.
Right.
Yeah.
Oh, nope.
He's just frustrated.
You're not allowed to be upset.
Yep.
And so walk through some of that forgiveness that, you know, she didn't
give you permission to have your feelings.
And then I think God's also kind of revealing to you this area of compassion
where you can see that your mom has some, some old wounds to probably from when
she was younger and why she operates the way that she does, that's one thing I
learned when I was going through the heart work is it was, it really was a
gift and I had, you know, heart wounds around my parents as well, and they're
wonderful, lovely people.
And I love them dearly.
I have, you know, good relationships with them and stay in contact with them.
But there were some heart wounds that were created when I was younger.
And when I walk through the heart work process and I did some forgiveness with
them, God was showing and revealing to me that it wasn't because they didn't love
me, it was out of their own wounds and they didn't have programs like a program
like this, it was really hard for.
Like I could just go to them and just I could forgive them with what they just didn't know.
And I know that can kind of sometimes for people that really do have some pretty deep wounds with
their parents, that can be a struggle. But you know, God is a God that wants to heal and redeem.
And he's not going to rip bandages off. You know, he's going to pull things out in layers.
So just be gentle with that. Okay, that's why we come here, we process through all of that.
Yeah, and I know you got to get you got to jump off here. But I really do hope this is starting
to show you like this whole process, like this dating process is working, you're getting some
really good revealing for healings. And, and I really believe in the in the, you know, coming
weeks and months as you're dating, you're going to find opportunities to step into confidence
and make decisions and choices without needing everybody's permission. But I do like I mean,
but again, I want to one last thing because I did write this down was, I like what you say
about the wisdom. I also wrote the word balance, that yes, seeking counsel and wisdom is very
important. But it's all about good balance as well. Yeah, we don't want it to lead you to this
like confusion, overwhelming state, because that's not that's not coming from God.
A lot. Yeah, that that confusion and overwhelm that happens kind of a lot. And it might be
because of that. Because there's so many people that I'm looking to versus open the Lord. Yeah,
I got a lot of peace on that word about trust that you said. Yeah.
I think this is Yeah, like I said, I think you know, you can trust God's got you.
And you can trust yourself. And you're going to be stepping into that,
where you're going to get to make some confident choices.
And you can't mess anything up that God has for you.
Okay. Okay, Stephanie, I so appreciate you, because I know you've been in this space for a
minute. And you've been showing up, you've been doing what we've asked you to do. I know there's
been some moments of frustration, but you have not, you've not faltered, you haven't given up,
you still keep showing up, you you are in the app, you're communicating with us.
And you're coming on these live calls, ladies, that ladies, this is what this is all about.
We see the most breakthrough from those of you that show up intentionally, and stretch yourselves.
It doesn't have to be easy. It just has to be worth it. Okay. Thank you, Carla.
You're welcome.
Bye. Thanks.
Bye, Stephanie. Awesome. All right. I got some more hands up. So I'm going to go ahead and take
those. We've got probably about 45 minutes. So I think we should be able to get through I don't
have as many ladies on today. Maybe with the holiday. How many do I have here? Let's see.
510. I've got 13 so far. Okay. All right, Stacy, how are you? Do we have any updates about?
No, no updates. Okay. I haven't seen him. So just trying to give him a space and let him process
his stuff. But I've been processing my stuff. In the meantime, I finished the Well, and I guess I,
you know, I've kind of been having some health issues myself. I have been dealing with,
well, I have Hashimoto's disease. I've had it since a teenager. And I've kind of been having
a flare up where I just have like, really low energy and brain fog and stuff like that.
So that's kind of what I've been struggling with lately. But I did finish the phase two content.
Okay. So I'm trying to figure out like, I don't know, I, you know, in Supernatural Saturday,
it really spoke to me when Jackie was like, you know, stop doing and just be,
you know, and I think that's really what I need right now is more of like, kind of that season
of rest. And not pursuing like dating quite as much, just to get myself back to a good spot
before I can do that. But then like, so my question with that is like, should I go ahead
and go into phase three, or just kind of like sit here in phase two for a while?
I think once you because you've been here, at least four to five weeks. Yeah. Yep. So ladies,
when you're in phase
is to you'll be here a minimum of four to five weeks.
That's if you're watching one video a week,
which is the content that she was sharing.
So we have the Dating 101, the Divine Feminine,
Online Dating, and Boundaries.
But then even before Dating 101 is that kickoff.
It's that love story accelerator.
Okay, so it's a total of five.
And so we want you sitting with one of those a week
and process through it, showing up to calls,
which Stacey has done.
And then, yeah, we do give that seven date challenge,
but that doesn't mean you're gonna finish
all your seven dates in phase two.
Some ladies even just wait
to kind of absorb the information.
They might stay an extra week or so
as they start getting themselves out there to date,
and then they move over to phase three.
But you've worked this.
So I would say, if you're ready for it,
I think you're ready for it,
to go ahead and just send the email
to admin at JackieDorman.com and request that phase three,
because there is really good content in there as well.
We do try to invite phase two at least once a month
or once every two months to one of those
like preview, like loveseat things that we do.
But yeah, I think you're good
because you've put your dating boots on.
You've gotten some stuff going.
So I don't think that it would be a bad thing
for you to go ahead and shift over.
Okay, perfect.
I think so, and then I'm gonna speak
to those ladies that are new here.
So if you, again, four to five weeks
watching the video content,
we do want you to have at least some pushing of yourself
to kind of get yourself out there
and go on at least a date before shifting over to phase three
because phase two is a little bit smaller
and we have these sessions on Tuesdays
with me here at one o'clock and with Ebony at eight
where we can help you unpack
some of the brand new dating experiences
that you're having, okay?
And then that way we can kind of help navigate for you
if we kind of see any blinders that you might needing,
other artwork stuff that's gonna come
because as you start that dating process,
some artwork stuff is just gonna surface, okay?
That's not abnormal, it's not uncommon,
it's not, you know, it doesn't have to be scary.
The news is that y'all have gotten through
and graduated from phase one, okay?
So you've worked the artwork
and so now it's just taking what you have learned
in phase one and applying it now to dating, okay?
Sound good?
All right, I got Caitlin up next.
How are you, Caitlin?
Hi, I'm okay.
I'm kind of struggling in a situation with a guy.
So I just thought,
wondered if I could get a little feedback on it.
Yes.
We'll just give a really quick-
You got excited about the first date
and then the second date was kind of like, eh.
Yeah.
Is this the same guy?
Yeah, good memory.
And then, yeah.
And then, so yeah, after the second date
and there's also a pattern of like,
I don't feel like he's asking me a lot about myself.
Like I'm having a lot of fun with him,
we have a lot of alignment.
Yeah, but I just was like, he doesn't,
I don't feel pursued by him.
Like- Okay.
And so, but anyways, I decided I'd go
on one more date with him.
Okay.
And so we went and I suggested an activity
because we've been doing like coffee and we got a drink.
And I was like, so I suggested we do something active.
Was this the third date that you did something active?
Okay.
What did y'all do?
So we went bowling and we went to this arcade.
It was super fun.
And I actually like, on the third date, I was like,
oh, I'm feeling this.
Like I'm into this.
And like, I really, I kind of liked this guy actually.
And I got really excited again.
And then, but at the same time,
I didn't quite feel like he was like,
like there were little things with like,
when we're ordering, he wouldn't, he'd order first.
He didn't like wait for me to order.
Yeah.
Just things where I felt like he was not thinking about me
as much as himself, or I was like,
maybe he's just like a little aloof, I don't know.
And then at the end of the date,
he, I like, it seemed like we were having a lot of fun,
but yeah, at the end of the date,
I was like, well, thanks so much for coming down here.
he came to my area and um and then he didn't like say any he was just um
he was like yeah have a good rest of your week kind of thing um okay so so has he reached back
out to you well then he's texted me the last couple days with like things so i i'm a musician
i put out a song and i like told him i did and he like listened to it and he was like
i'm a suck like he like responded about like he listened to the song and said some things about
it and then it's just our communication's been weird because he's doesn't ask me very personal
questions like he's like what kind of candy are you gonna eat on easter so okay all this day last
night he sent me a long message essentially saying that he wasn't sure if he was feeling
romantically okay um and i'm wondering can i just paste it into the chat
yeah go ahead um so i don't know if that's too overshare but anyways i'm gonna send what he
said he sent me okay um yeah i was gonna say because it it sounds like one my first thought
was maybe he's just never been raised or taught how to be a gentleman that's what i was wondering
that happens ladies i mean sometimes they just they just don't know i don't know how old how old
is he he's 38 um yeah yeah i'm 37 yeah and then he sent me i was just kind of seeing what is what
how is he showing up elsewhere so okay so do you mind if i read it out loud so i make sure
okay hey caitlin i wanted to check in with you where i'm at in hopes it's helpful i'm having fun
hanging out and seeing a lot of real compatibility i love that your life is so invested in music it's
the romantic side i'm still not sure how i feel and i usually tend to know that by a few dates
in like this i don't want to waste your time or leave you without clear intentions so i figured
to just share this because i'd be happy to keep hanging out as friends seeing what develops with
some time but also totally understand if hearing this might have you wanting to focus your time
towards clearer things or if you're kind of feeling the same way let me know how you're
feeling when you can okay so how are you feeling caitlin do you want to continue to get to know him
as friends while you're also open to dating other people oh um i feel like that's hard on my heart
because i got so excited about him okay so knowing that he's not there yeah do you want to continue
to keep putting your heart into something that you're he's kind of sharing with you like hey
you're you're a cool person i think we got some things going on but i'm not there romantically
yeah i i don't think i want to do that okay but it hurts so i feel like there's like like ouch why
are you not into me like okay so then yeah like that's that's where we're gonna get so this is
where ladies this is where dating is gonna start uncovering some stuff okay so i don't like i think
this was a good trial for you because you found some things that you really do like about him
and you got excited about dating ladies let's have success in that when we're excited about
dating that's like let's be excited about that okay but you also were noticing some things that
you didn't enjoy that you really put value in so i don't want you selling yourselves short because
you do desire someone that is going to be a gentleman and um let the lady order first
like go ahead open the door for you right being intentional about being a masculine man ladies
that's masculinity right okay it's not all the like oh he's got to be buff and muscles and all
that kind of you know none of that but just they're willing and able and wanting to cover
and protect and provide yeah provide you know spiritually emotionally physically like all
sorts of ways okay and so i think this was a good discovery dating for you that there was things that
you enjoyed about him that you appreciated that there was some compatibility there there were
certain things that you all aligned with but you also really desire someone that's going to
be intentional with wanting to get to know you so my guess is
the reason he's probably not asking a lot of questions is because he's still not sure
he's fully there yet. Okay. Again, this has nothing to do about you. It's more or less
him. So that's what we got to get. We got to get to the, what kind of fears, anxious
thought are starting to surface now that the enemy wants you to start believing. Why didn't
he like me? Totally. Which I feel like last night when I got that text last night and
I was like flooded with that, like, Oh, maybe I'm too old for him. Maybe I'm not attractive
enough for him. Like I just had all these negative things and I started ruminating and
then I was like, maybe he has avoidant attachment or I just like, but so I guarantee ladies
just by a show of hands. I know I got a few hands that are up for the thing or even in
the chat. How many of you experienced this, those thoughts when someone is not sure how
they feel about a dating situation with you? Has that ever happened before? Yeah. So the
thing is, is you're not alone. Okay. All this is, is rejection. And then what are
we believing about it? And I think many, many weeks ago we kind of started getting some
breakthrough with the identity piece. Yeah. Right. And so some of that wants to creep
back in that you're not worthy enough. You're not at a certain age. Okay. Cause I had that
same thing happen y'all. I was dating someone like, so my son's father left me for someone
when I was seven months pregnant and he left me for someone 12 years younger than me. Y'all
like she was 20 and I was 32. I was like, what? And I was in this program dating and
the guy was actually part of this community. Super nice guy. And uh, we went out on a date
and then a few weeks later he met someone else. I later find out that girl that he went
out on a date with y'all, she was 12 years younger than me. I was like, what? And so
some of that started wanting to surface. Okay. And it, I sat with it for a short amount of
time cause I had been in the heartwork for over a year at that point. Like I had, I knew,
I knew it was a heartwork thing. So I had to go back to my tools and be like, okay,
what am I believing? What is, what's the truth? What is God's truth? Okay. Where? And
then I was like, okay, God reveal this to me. And that's when the Lord revealed to me,
well, Carla, your son's father left you when you were seven months pregnant with someone
that was 12 years younger than you. There's some healing that I want, you know, you've
already, you've already forgiven him. And this is just an area that the enemy wants
to sit there and use you to trap you to go back that he's like, but you already broke
that off. And he's like, I've, I've got better for you. He's like, you got to trust that.
And so I had to work through that whole process. So that's what I'm saying. Like this dating
process will start surfacing. So the rejection will come. And again, it's just reminding
ourselves what is the truth? God's got something so amazing for me that rejection actually
is protection. Yeah. And I believe that. I just, I feel like I've had a string of things
not work out and it's hard. It can be hard to keep believing that after over time when
you're like, I wanted this for 20 years now. I know. I know. And, and, and that's where,
you know, I can just give you my own testimony. I've been where you've been. It's actually,
I remember just being in such a low place after being in this program for two years
and it just constantly not like good guys kept coming, but they just weren't, I wasn't
their wife. And I'm like, but I know I'm like a good person. I know I have good qualities.
I know I'm wife material. I know I'm all these things and God, I know you say that about
me, but why do they not see it? And God's like, because I, I haven't brought him yet.
I'm like, okay. And I got to a point where I, I did, I got so discouraged. I was ready
to throw in the towel and been like, I just need to let it go. And there were things that
I was not willing to release the pin.
too. I was all about, I'm not moving. I want more babies. And
finally, I had gotten to this point where I'm like, Lord, I,
I'm done exhausting myself with this. I'm done feeling like
this. You're gonna have to carry this. And I mean, I'll be
honest, ladies, I was mad at God. I was like, you promised
this and you're not delivering. But I also had a little boy that
was really wanting a dad. And I'm like, you can, I'm like,
Lord, you can disappoint me. But you're disappointing my son. And
I mean, I was mad at him. And I was able to, like, I was able to
just snot it out, go to go to the Lord in prayer. And I was
like, Okay, I gotta let this go, you're gonna have to do
something because I'm not doing it anymore. And I had to be
willing to let go of some of the things that I thought were
non-negotiables. And so, you know, I'm not saying that
that's your case, I'm saying it more or less, for you ladies to
hear that I get where y'all are at. I've been there too. But I
promise you, God is still working, even when we can't see
him working, he's working. And it doesn't make sense right now.
But I will tell you, it will make sense when God brings that
person. And so just continue to keep believing that. Go to the
Lord, go to the Lord with all your emotions, all the feelings.
And it's, it's okay. And then just say, Okay, Lord, you
brought this guy, it really, it really stinks. This rejection
really sucks. I'm not sure why it is not romantically attracted
to me. I think I'm pretty amazing. But Lord, I'm going to
trust you with this. I'm going to trust that you got somebody
else out there and Lord, I'm going to believe that you're
going to bring somebody that's going to be a gentleman, and is
going to let me order first. He's going to open the door for
me. So just again, just focus on that. And again, you're doing
the right thing. You're showing up, you're letting us know how
you're feeling, and what you're experiencing and what you're
going through. That is, that's half the battle ladies is
showing up here. Okay. Thank you so much, Caitlin. I hope I hope
it gives you encouragement. Yeah, it does. Thank you. All
right. And if you need to take a few days, then get back out
there again. Yeah. Okay. All right, Ruth, I got you next and
see that you're not on camera. So I'm not sure if you're able
to show your face or not. Okay, I see. Okay. Oh, yep.
How are you? I'm doing well. I don't really have a question.
But I wanted to, I haven't really spoken in stage two. So
it's like, well, maybe I should give an update. So yeah, so I
guess my update does Oh, my cat is making an appearance. My, my
update does incorporate a question. So I've been in phase
two, gosh, for four weeks now. And I have not yet ventured to
online dating. Okay. But that being said, I have met five men
in the past four weeks organically. Yeah, I'm an
organic person. That's my preference. I'm not opposed to
online dating, but I really like just organic meeting people. And
so I had three states. And then one person I met Sunday, I'm in
my complex. And we chatted quite a bit on Sunday. And then we met
last night in our complex and and talk for like another 30
minutes. So no, like date per se with him, but getting getting
to know. Mm hmm. Okay. So that's where I'm at. Um, and I guess,
you know, I guess my question is, I will say, um, the three
dates I have had, those are not individuals that I will be
following up with. Um, so yeah, so ruled them out. Um, but I
guess my question is, um, I would say that I am not
necessarily, well, I guess I've dated two men at a time, but I
rolled them out with like, one to two weeks very rapidly. Um,
so yeah, I guess. Do you feel like do you strongly advise that
I do get online? Or if I'm enjoying what I have?
now and I feel like, you know, I'm actively meeting or going on a date at least once a week.
Do you think that's enough? So yeah, I think if you are coming out of hiding and you have
guys that you're meeting, I think keep doing what you're doing. Okay. Now,
um, if, let me ask, why were those other three dates a no? Like the three days you had,
were those three separate guys? Like, are you just going on one date and saying it's a no?
Um, well, one guy was a no because our values don't align. Okay. Um, so that was a no after
the first day. Um, and the other day was a no after the second, because he, his behavior was
inappropriate and out of line. Okay. Perfect. Okay. Yeah. I just want to make sure that,
you know, it's not like, okay, one day there's like one little thing, like
their teeth are crooked or something like that. No, they're there. There's, there's,
you know, so what about the guy that you said your values didn't align? What about your values
didn't align? So again, because I'm meeting these people organically, it's not like I'm reading
their bio. Um, so great individual, highly educated, which meets, um, my, you know,
non-negotiables, um, but didn't, doesn't believe in God. Um, so that, you know, ruled him out.
Okay. Perfect. Okay. So if he's not a believer, then yeah, ladies, like you're not always going
to find those things out right off the bat. So that's what I will say. Like what I will caution
you with, and I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong here is when you're going out on
dates, we want to make sure that we're just at that getting to know you phase that we're not
just trying to like, do they have all of my non-negotiables or, you know, that kind of thing.
We don't want to just sit here and have checklist. We're like, okay, the guy has to do this, this,
this, and this. We really want you discovering like, what do you enjoy about people?
What do you, what do you appreciate and value when you're out on dates? Like what are we,
we call it, we call, we call you ladies to be fruit inspectors. And so what we mean by that
is you're looking for their fruits, like fruits of the spirit. Are they kind? Are they patient?
Do they have self-control? Do they presume to have joy? Are they loving? Okay. Now,
obviously loving in a sense of like loving others, they love others well. Okay. We're looking for
those types of fruits. All right. I know a lot of times we want the, Oh, I want this guy to be
on fire. I want him to be able to, you know, you know, quote scripture ladies. There's a lot of
men out there that can sit in and quote scripture and be believers, but that are not healthy.
All right. I know there's a woman in this program. Um, she, one of her former husbands
could get up in a pulpit and really preach, but he was not a good husband. Okay. So that's why
we want you looking for fruits. So that's where I would just spend time just getting to know them.
Okay. Again, I'm not saying that you did anything wrong. Cause again, you don't want somebody
that's not a believer, but let's just make sure that we're not going on interview on those first
date. Like go do things enjoyable. That's why Jackie encourages you ladies for your first dates,
especially in the first beginning dates, go do activities, go do things that are fun.
All right. So you're not sitting always across the table, having breakfast, lunch, dinner,
coffee, because it can turn into an interview very, very quickly. All right. And we really
want to see, cause ladies, I will tell you, there are men out there and women too, that can sit there
and paint the picture and regurgitate everything that you want to hear. And then two or three
months in you're living in fantasy and things start surfacing. Okay. So that's why we want
low stakes dating and level two, getting to know you. But again, to your question, do you need to
go and jump online? Not, not if you're getting dates right now, I will ask, like, if you're
finding that it's, you like to definitely go for it. Just don't overwhelm yourself.
And then I would even pose the question. Is there a reason why you're, are you hard into the idea
of online dating or are you?
not so that's another thing that we'll we'll practice with you ladies too because there
are some ladies that are like nope hard no not going to online date and that's a heart wound
okay so i like i said it sounds like you're meeting guys you're getting dates you're out
of hiding all good things um and this is this is when you you get to make choices
and decide what works for you as well sounds good and yeah i like the um it's interesting because
in some ways and i wrote this in my message to you a couple weeks ago um and with this person
i'm talking to now it does not feel like an interview but the past couple of days i've had
i felt like they were interviewing me yeah um and um so if that was an interesting
dynamic um but i'm glad i actually found that piece of information out sooner rather than
than later and they were just like kind of about their kind of differences and yeah
and yeah values absolutely and like and like you said then you had two uh two dates with
somebody that was just completely inappropriate ladies if any men are being completely
inappropriate with their behavior sexual aggressive um you know just downright rude
where it's like the fruits are not there right they don't have the fruits of the spirit because
they're just not being kind then that's that's a no that's that's a red flag if someone is
crossing boundaries not being appropriate not being honoring to who you are that's that's a
no okay and if you ever need us to help you evaluate is this behavior appropriate or inappropriate
bring it to the bring it to a community and we'll let you know okay all right i got actually
hey ashley how are you
i'm good how are you good i'm gonna write everybody down so that way if i can't get to
everybody i typically pass them over to ebony and say hey so any of you ladies that i don't
get to if i don't get to you and you can make eight o'clock i do typically let ebony know like
hey these girls were at one o'clock make sure you take their question well i will say i was one of
the last ones to raise my hand so if you want to move on to somebody else no you're good i i got
you so we're good okay so i don't know if you remember but i was one that i was not a huge fan
of the whole idea of online dating not really not really enjoying it which from what i understand
i've talked to some friends that like it's just kind of brutal it's just kind of not fun you're
and you're not alone like i'm like i i didn't enjoy online dating but there was i i learned
that there was value in it because god could use it to help grow me and heal me in areas
for sure so i know we sometimes are like oh we don't like it yeah and i feel like i've you know
risky and like putting myself out there and like actually getting on and like
swiping right and left and trying not to be overly like read too much into all of their
like okay i think he's attractive and like one of the things on his bio okay seems like
nice wholesome pictures okay we're good yeah and so one of the things that i'm feeling like i have
hard time with is um i don't feel like anybody's reaching out like i i'm not super good at small
talk i'm just not i'm like let's let's get to know each other i want to know who you are you
know to even see if i want to know you you know yeah and um and so like some of the the two apps
that i'm on they have like sometimes they'll have like prompted questions i'm like that just feels
so feels so shallow and which is okay but i also don't want to be the only one like to make the
first move you know and so like the whole drop the hanky thing i've waved and i've sent a comment or
two and i just don't get anything back which is fine i don't i mean it's kind of one of those
things like it's either going to happen or it's not you know i'm not going to make it happen
and um but i was talking to one guy i talked to two guys since i started probably a little
over a month ago one guy i'm learning the apps and so i don't really know how it works and
started a conversation come to find out he was quite a ways away and i'm really not interested
in the long distance or potential of relocating i'm happy where i am and um has he mentioned that
he's open to relocating well it wasn't i didn't just didn't feel like the conversation went there
i was just like i'm not
Yeah, um other guy sometimes we will put it in their their profiles. That's why I asked like he worked
he's actually he was in Houston and he worked in on the oil rigs and stuff like that, so I
Wouldn't get there, but it was I was fine with that. Yeah
But what the one guy did talk to you it just seemed I didn't like I said
I'm new to it trying to figure out the apps and stuff and I am a millennial but that is not
It's not it doesn't come naturally to me
finding all that figuring those out and
So this conversation started and I didn't really look at his profile
we just started talking and
We got to a point where I was like he asked to meet in person
He had kind of prompted a few times and I was like, you know, I'm not really
I'm unsure about that right now, but I would be open to a video call. Okay, and I
Asked when he would be available and
He said well my schedule is wide open I can make just about anything happens, okay awesome. What about this time and
He said oh, well that won't work for me
Okay, and I was like I was already super nervous not really into it
But okay, you know, I'm putting myself out there. I'm gonna try it. Yeah, and
So I waited and I waited and while I was like made another like what about this time and never heard back from him
and so
I went looked at his profile and something popped up and I was like, oh, that's kind of a really big red flag
He said I
Don't remember the actual verbiage because I'll tell you the rest of it why I can't go back and look at it
but it's something like
It came across as like emotional wreck looking for somebody who has it together and
And I was like, oh
Wait, so he said emotionally what that he was either an emotional wreck or like
Figuring it out or it on a healing journey
Looking for somebody who already has it all together and I didn't see that before we started talking, but I was like that
Feels really that's just a huge red flag for me. Like not that you have to have it all together
You're putting that up front. Like I don't yeah, that just doesn't seem very
I'm not sure what put together girl is gonna say. Oh, let me sign up for that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm
Ready for that journey
like if anything is looking that to me is
People that are gonna be attracted to that would be people that want to fix and help and do
Yeah, and what like a project or want to mother it? Yeah, that doesn't say yeah, it just didn't feel feel good
So I was like, like I said figuring out the app and there was an unmatched button and I was like, yeah
We're just gonna go ahead and that's then I don't even and I think that was fine
Okay, cuz I was like, I kind of feel like a jerk that I didn't like but then again
I was like, I don't know him anything. So
Dating was described to me by one of the women in the community when when she and I were in the community together
I
Ladies I know I know online dating is not ideal. All right
It's not fun all the time. It can be I mean if we go in with the mindset
We really can like if we can just accept for what it is and just push through it
It doesn't have to be as like tumultuous
but again, I say it because I totally get it and
With online dating you sometimes are just gonna have to go through and you're trying to find needle in a haystack
You're gonna have to be willing to just swipe reach out deal with some of the not-so-great guys
But I assure you there are good guys out there on those apps
More oftentimes than not
Okay, that's where a lot of men are going
Because that's the age that we live in
Okay, and so
It's just the matter of numbers game. It's kind of like how you
approach business and sales is
That you're gonna have to get through some nose to get some yeses
And I know that's not what we all want to hear and it's like it's not fun
but if
You know you go into it mean like okay. I know they're good guys out there. I'm
Accepting the fact that I'm gonna have to deal with some not-so-great ones
But I have tools and resources I have a community that's here to help back me up with it
It can be enjoyable. I met a lot of really incredible
guys
online I
Learned a lot about myself by being online
so
So yeah, top two online dating sites, Megan.
So I personally use Facebook dating.
It was my favorite, okay?
And I know everyone's like, but I want a Christian site.
Ladies, there's Christians all over the place.
There's Christians at the grocery store.
You don't know that they're a Christian, okay?
Like there's Christians on dating sites
that are not the Christian sites too.
There's also non-Christians on Christian dating sites.
All right, sometimes that's how some guys
will wanna scam you, all right?
So that, I don't know, like that's what I used.
Some other ones that I know people have used
is Hinge, Bumble, I think there's Holy Salts.
They're constantly putting out other sites,
but don't overwhelm yourself with it.
I know, Ashley, you were talking about,
I know you don't like the idea,
you don't like the one being able to reach out.
I would get uncomfortable,
I'm gonna stretch to get uncomfortable,
be willing to reach out to some guys.
Some guys are very shy and intimidated,
especially when they see a beautiful looking woman
like yourself on the photos,
that they're also dealing with the fear
of rejection as well, okay?
And just know, just the more feelers you put out there,
the more opportunity you have to land on a really good guy,
whether he's your spirit mate or not.
Like I said, I met a lot of really great guys
and learned a lot about myself.
So what would you say, or like, I don't know,
maybe I can get everybody's help.
What are the best questions to start conversation
without, hey, how's your day?
Because that's like-
Well, what are some things that you enjoy?
What are the things that I enjoy?
Like going out to eat, going to movies, live music,
going out for a walk.
Like, I just, honestly, I like to have fun
without any risky stuff.
I don't do heights, I don't do rides, things like that.
So you like music, you like food,
ask, start circling questions around there.
I mean, especially if you like to eat.
Are you in a bigger area?
I live in Plano, it's just north of Dallas.
Okay, yeah, I'm in Frisco, Little Elm, so yeah.
So yeah, there's so many restaurants in the Plano area.
Like, you just start saying, hey,
like, what are your top three favorite restaurants
in the area?
Like, just shoot there, because then guess what?
That could potentially get you a date
at one of those restaurants.
And then you can share which restaurants you like,
kind of ask about, like, what type of cuisine.
I mean, I feel like there's so many different,
like, one in this area, it's like a lot of Tex-Mex,
a lot of Mexican food, a lot of Indian food.
A lot of-
My family says that it's not Tex-Mex, that's just food.
It's just our food.
It's just food.
The food of our people.
Like, my husband is a, like, full-blown Texan.
I am not.
So I just moved here, and I'm like,
he would eat Mexican food all day, every day.
And I'm like, I need variety.
There's no food that guacamole does not go with.
There you go.
So yeah, just start asking questions like that.
You know, music.
Hey, have you heard any live bands recently?
What's your favorite type of music?
Start some of that small talk,
because then you can actually engage in that conversation,
because it's something that's interesting to you.
So for me, a lot of the questions that I liked
is I love to travel.
So I always want to go to new places,
experience new things.
And so I would always be getting, you know,
I'd ask people about, like,
what's your most favorite place that you've traveled to?
What's your favorite vacation?
One, because I also love to get ideas,
because even if a guy I was meeting, like, chatting with,
and we didn't hit it off and go on a date,
I might've gotten a good idea of somewhere to go.
Same thing with, like, the food experience,
like a restaurant.
Like, you might not have heard of a restaurant
and be like, hey, this guy isn't my, you know,
a person to go out on a date with,
but I might take a suggestion to go to this restaurant.
Find questions of things that are interesting to you
and see if you can strike up a compatible,
like, back and forth conversation.
And then after a few exchanges,
drop the hanky being like,
we should really do this in person sometime,
or do the video call.
With the video call, give them two dates, two dimes,
and say, which one of these works best for you?
And if they're like, oh, neither of those work,
okay, how about you give me two dates and two dimes,
and I'll see if that fits in my schedule.
Yeah.
Okay, does that help?
Yeah, and I wasn't a jerk to not to unmatch with that guy.
No.
It is sometimes like, it's okay.
Like God, I think God sometimes can use the fact that you were kind of like,
you were ready to have a call and he was kind of like, Oh, my schedule's open,
but then saying no to everything.
I think there was a good prompting because it wasn't like you
were going to go be suspicious.
All right, ladies.
Like, I know there's some ladies out there, like ladies, if you're, you're
wanting to go search their profiles because you're looking for something
to not like them for, that's not who I'm talking to right now.
Okay.
But Ashley, I think she was just prompting.
She's like, you know, I don't think I really read his profile.
I'm going to go take a look at it.
And something caught her eye that was like, Ooh, this doesn't feel right.
She wasn't, that was the only thing, only verbiage on his thing.
So it was like he had pictures and he was, I mean, he was,
wasn't horrible looking.
He just, but it was like, I think like, again, I think ladies, I'm not saying
go out there and go be suspicious and try to find every little thing as to
why to make this guy like a bad guy or ax him or whatever, like, then I'm going
to have a different conversation with you ladies, but for you, Ashley, no, I
think that was just a Holy spirit prompting of, you don't even want
to entertain this right now.
He's protecting you from even going down that kind of road.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
No, that, that makes me feel better and helps a lot.
I appreciate it.
Okay.
All right.
I have time for one more question, Mary.
I'm going to take you cause I see your face.
How are you, Mary?
Hi there.
Hi, I'm doing good.
I've been on a Christian retreat today, so very peaceful today.
So, but I just wanted, it wasn't more of a question, just more of something
kind of came up in my heart when you said, good guys keep coming, but I wasn't
their wife and I've had that experience and I almost been crying throughout the
call because it's just kind of there.
And just having that sort of sense that I haven't really, really released the
pen to God in that, because I'm afraid that I'm going to repeat a pattern
of not very nice guys in my life.
So, um, so yeah, I want a good guy.
I want a healthy guy.
And let this be like that.
Yeah.
I think there's some healing in this.
You know, that's what I had experienced that there are good men
out there and that was healing.
And it didn't mean I wasn't their wife, but it didn't mean it didn't take away
from the fact that they weren't a good guy, if anything, it gave me more
confidence and that I was even attracting healthier men because I was healthier.
Ladies.
Don't forget that when you've gone through the heartwork, like you've done
some healing and so the healthier you become, the healthier you're going to
attract, you'll hear Jackie often say, and this is just ingrained in my mind
because I, you know, obviously I've been in Jackie's program for, you know,
since 2020, what, what you believe you become and what you become, you attract.
So if you believe unhealthy things and you act in an unhealthy way and you
start believing the lies, you're going to start, you'll attract some of that.
You'll untrack, you'll attract the unhealthy.
Okay.
But once you work through, that's why we really encourage you ladies, not to rush
through the phase one and phase two of this, of this program, because there is
so much healing that takes place here.
And so when we get that, like God wants you married, he does,
but he also wants you healed.
Okay.
And so that healing, it will do something.
You will begin to start attracting more healthier, good men.
And I think God is just showing that to you so that you can trust yourself
and build that confidence and know, like, and it just as a Mary, you've been
doing the work and I see the work you've done and you're resting in me and I see
and I've got an amazing husband for you and like, just hold on to that.
Ladies, there's so much healing in the dating process, especially when
we're not rushing to find the one.
And I know how hard that can be ladies.
I was, you know, my late thirties, like I'd never been married.
I thought I had a rush through it.
I just wanted it so badly.
But it doesn't have to be rushed.
Great.
There's so, so much precious healing in the timing too.
Like I would not have been able to receive my husband as a gift if I
didn't work through this program.
Yeah.
Like I had to.
really learned to trust myself, I had to learn to trust God so that now I can lean on and
trust this amazing man that I have as a husband.
Just rest in that. I think it's a beautiful thing that you're recognizing. You have met
some really amazing guys and let that be encouraging to you that God's got one coming for you.
He really does. He wants you to just see how healthy and healed you've become because that's
what he wants more, ladies. He wants y'all healed more than anything. When we've been
hurt in a relationship, we'll be healed in a relationship.
Can I just share one more quick thing?
Absolutely. I gave you a couple more minutes.
Thank you. Just because on this retreat today, I had done the attachment quiz and I realized
I'm an anxious attacher. I've been praying about that. Just being on this retreat today,
I saw a picture of Jesus in my mind and him reaching his hand out and just saying, come.
I'm saying, but, and he's saying, just come. Every time I was saying, but, he just said
come. I just sort of sense that, okay, I can put my hand in yours and trust you. I felt that was
for me, but I thought it might be for somebody else as well.
I think that's so good. Thank you so much. I think that's a good note to end on. That was beautiful.
All right. Jenna and Janice, I apologize. I could not get to you, but if you can jump on
an eight o'clock call with Ebony tonight, I will shoot her your name so that she can put you on her
list in the beginning, or go ahead and put your question in the app. I'd be happy to look that
over in the next day or two to get to your question. So good to see so many of you. I know I
didn't get to say hello to everybody, but it was such an awesome time today. Thank you. Come back
again next week and come with your questions, okay? All right, ladies, have a wonderful, blessed day.
Thanks, Carla. Bye, y'all.