WEBVTT

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You're right there, I'm just having technical difficulty.

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Okay, just one moment.

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Okay, I think we're okay. My husband's headphones got connected there for a minute and I was like wait a minute I can't hear anything.

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Happy Monday everyone, we're so glad that you're here.

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So great, ask me to join that one.

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Oh, so Sue that just happened because you just are still on the email list from the free challenge when you were in the free challenge before.

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Okay, so if anyone's getting emails if you want to be removed, not from our email list but from the free challenge email list you can email admin and just let them know it's okay to remove you from that mailing list.

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That will help them kind of remember to do that.

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But welcome. My name is Bethany Cooper. I'm so glad that you're here with us tonight.

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We are going to be diving into some really great stuff. I believe God has some awesome things in store for each one of you.

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For those that are joining us for the first time, this is your first live session with us.

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I would love for you to put that in the chat so we can welcome you.

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For all of my ladies that are back for another session, maybe a couple sessions, welcome back.

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It is always a blessing and an honor to get to be here with all of you and to get to see a little glimpse of what God's doing in your life in this season and to even just do the hard work with you.

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It's one of my passions as you all probably can tell.

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I love helping people step a little bit further into freedom.

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Let's say we have several live tonight for the first time.

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Awesome. So we have Aaron B. Sandy. Is it Valencia? Valencia something maybe?

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Let's see. Loved by Dad. Maybe if you can put your first name in there for us, that will help us.

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Ladies, just so you know, if you hover over your screen, there's three dots.

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When you click on that, there's a thing that says rename.

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If you put your name in there, that will be helpful for when we do breakout sessions as well.

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But welcome. Amy Berrigan. Let's see. We have another Sarah. Megan. Awesome.

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Placencia. Okay. Got it. Thank you.

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Welcome to all of you. We're so glad that you're here.

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I have a couple housekeeping items for us tonight, and then we will go into the content.

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So first thing is making room for what is important, Supernatural Saturday.

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If y'all haven't heard it yet, the replay is in your replays tab.

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If you don't know where that's at, I'm going to show you here in just a moment what your screen in the last year single app looks like.

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But I want to encourage you all to take a listen to that.

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It is about pruning. It's about making room.

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It's about releasing things and letting them go that are taking up space where, you know, we need new things in the future to come into.

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And then also just want to encourage you all. Why do we post in the group?

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Why do we post in the community? Well, a couple things.

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A, it's for you. Number one, most important. Posting in the community and the group is for you.

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It's so that you can get additional coaching, but also so that you can connect in community, that you can be healed in community,

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that you can see the ability of coming out of hiding and allowing yourself to be seen, known, heard and loved.

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Some of you, for years, your voice and your presence got pressed down by other people.

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So guess what? Coming into this group and allowing yourself to experience the fullness of everything that's here and available to you is a huge way to come out of hiding.

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So I want to encourage you to do that. I'm going to share my screen real quick here.

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I'm not going to take a lot of time, ladies, but I am just going to show you very quickly the app.

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For those of you that are brand new, even some of you that have been here a few weeks, I have had some people kind of asking where do I post?

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What are the things? So I'm just going to go through this really, really quickly.

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So when you're in the app, first and foremost, it is an app.

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You can access it on your phone, but you can also type in last year single dot app on a browser using your computer,

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which is the view that you all are seeing right now on my computer.

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The first tab is community. That's where we post. That's where we talk.

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That's where we give you all the updates and all the things that you're going to need to know.

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Also, any post like this one right here that you'll see that I did yesterday to get you to interact with the weekly roll call, that is a pinned post.

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Well, you can scroll under that community tab to see those, or you can also click on announcements.

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Announcements are going to be posts that we want you to see, updates, you know, when we have last trip singles or retreats, all of those things.

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things are gonna be announced on that Announcements tab.

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I would encourage you all to check that frequently, okay?

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And the weekly roll call posts,

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for those of you that don't know,

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we post those every Sunday.

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We tailor let them to the Supernatural Saturday,

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but it's also just so that we can find out

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where are you at in the heart work?

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What's happening with you?

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Are you having breakthroughs?

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Are you feeling overwhelmed?

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You know, where you're just saying to us,

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this is where I'm at in the course,

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and this is how I'm processing

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the Supernatural Saturday word that was released.

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Your courses, that's where you're gonna find

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the heart work course content.

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You click on that to go into your course.

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Replays, these are gonna be Supernatural Saturday replays,

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and all of our live session replays

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are gonna be under your Replays tab for you.

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Events, excuse me, is your event calendar.

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When you click on an event, for example, Women's Prayer,

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your link is right there for you.

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If you scroll down a little bit,

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the meeting ID and passcode for Zoom are also there.

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Here's some pro tips for you.

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If you don't already have a Zoom account,

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I would encourage you to create

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a free Zoom profile and account.

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Log into that before you click on the link, okay?

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A lot of people have issues if they're not logged into Zoom,

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and we have come to find out that, I'm not sure why,

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so I'm sorry, I don't have the answers,

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but people that have Android phones

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tend to have some issues with those links

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more than other phone users.

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Again, y'all, I'm not knocking any kind of phone,

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but that's just what we've come to find out is happening.

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And so if you have any trouble with the link,

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y'all, if you go right to zoom.com or zoom.us,

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click Join a Meeting, type in the meeting ID and passcode,

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you're gonna get right into this, okay?

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It'll take a few seconds longer, but it'll get you in.

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So don't panic if the link doesn't work.

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And then sometimes, unfortunately, ladies,

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we have people that go on links that are the wrong links.

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We don't know how it's still happening

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because we have everything in the calendar,

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but if you ever try to log in and it sinks,

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you can't get in, you can't get in.

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We had that happen last Friday.

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Somebody was sitting in on a different link

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where they weren't supposed to be, unfortunately.

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So sometimes it's very rare,

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but it does happen on occasion.

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Resources tab, this is gonna be things that,

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any links that we need to give you

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to take you to another site

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or another page of information or anything like that,

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we're gonna put all of those under the Resources tab.

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And we'll always announce like, and let you all know,

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like when we have a new last trip single,

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like the cruise information's under here for you all,

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and that links to the website.

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But we will announce it on the Community page,

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and then we'll tell you to go to the Resources tab

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and where to find it.

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Does that make sense, everyone?

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Okay, so the other thing I wanna tell you really quick,

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when you're on the Community tab,

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when you wanna make a post,

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you can just do a post what's on your mind.

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When I click on that, I have the ability,

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you all have the ability to add one photo, okay?

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So as of right now, we can't add multiple photos.

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I know we're used to that with Facebook,

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but in our app, we just have the ability

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to add one at this time.

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You can type whatever text you wanna share.

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If you're gonna write a little bit longer post,

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I would recommend typing it on your phone

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or on your computer and copying and pasting.

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Just another pro tip,

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because I've been working on a post before

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and then accidentally bump something

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and the whole thing's gone.

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So just FYI.

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Okay, so let's say you just wanna do an update.

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Maybe you're new to the group,

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you wanna introduce yourself.

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We typically have you all put that under the All tab.

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Can you see down here how there's these other little tabs?

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Anything else that you wanna do,

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the activations, anything.

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Here's the key too.

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If y'all post it under a tab

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that is different than what I'm saying right now,

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either way, it's fine, cause you're posting.

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So you're not gonna get in trouble or anything.

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Nobody's ever gonna be in trouble in this group.

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So just post it wherever you can,

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but I'm just helping you all

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as you're kind of seeing this tonight.

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Wins, we wanna like really encourage you all

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to celebrate your wins.

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Like what's happening?

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What are the breakthroughs that you're getting?

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You know, maybe you're just feeling,

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you know, something lifting off of you.

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Come in and share.

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It's really, really important for you to share the wins,

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even as you're processing a lot of stuff.

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Now, one of the things I wanna point out here

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is I clicked on the wins, but all stayed on.

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Now, it's okay, again, if this happens, it's no big deal.

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But if that is the case and you leave that on,

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it's gonna post under both feeds.

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Does that make sense?

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And so I just wanna unselect all.

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Same thing, if you have a question for a coach,

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that would be me, that would be Annette and Andrea.

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You would click ask a coach, relationship milestones,

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even though like you're in here,

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we're asking you not to date,

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more what this is for you all while you're in phase one.

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I wanna hear from you all,

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if you're having breakthroughs

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where relationships have been kind of hindered

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or hurt in the past and God is restoring those,

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you're seeing some shifts happening there,

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that kind of stuff, okay?

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And that is really, you all won't see the notify group

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cause I'm an admin, so that's different for me.

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So just disregard that.

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But hopefully that was super helpful.

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But as soon as you finished getting your post ready,

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you just click post.

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And right now it's grayed out

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because I don't have anything in there.

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But once I had that filled in,

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it would highlight I think to blue

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and then you would be able to post to the group.

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So I hope that was helpful for you all.

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Again, there's a couple things on that page

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that because I'm an admin,

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I see like settings and all that,

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that you all won't have any of that backend stuff.

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Okay, Courtney, you don't have announcements.

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We'll work on that.

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If you're in phase one, you would have,

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well, we call phase one heartwork.

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You would have access to that.

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So I just need to make sure

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that maybe something's not a little funky with your app.

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Does other people,

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are a bunch of people missing announcements?

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Ask a coach is not private.

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It is gonna be where the group can see it.

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But just want y'all to know this is a safe zone, okay?

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I was telling the group this afternoon,

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genuinely, I've been doing this for four years

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and I can't tell you all how pleased I've been

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that people have been very kind to each other.

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There's not been judgment in this group.

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And if I did ever see that, y'all,

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I would remove that stuff

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and we would have a conversation with that person,

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loving conversation with someone that we feel

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would be judgmental or critical

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of someone else in our community, okay?

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So we have boundaries and things that we put in place

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even for our members.

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So I want you all to know that, but okay, cool.

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So some people have it and some people don't.

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I need to check into that.

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Let me work on that this week, ladies.

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Hopefully I'll get that fixed by next week.

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All right, let me pray for us.

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I wanna get us started

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because we have a lot to unpack tonight.

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Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

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God, thank you for your grace.

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Thank you for every one of these ladies

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for where they've come,

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God, to this point that you've drawn them here.

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We believe that you've brought them here

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for a divine encounter with you, first and foremost.

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God, that you would just, yeah, Lord,

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that you would awaken aspects within them

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that have been crushed down by other people

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that have been sleeping, slumbering,

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that haven't been awake,

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where maybe over the time of trauma and wounds,

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God, that even subconsciously,

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they've turned off parts of themselves and silenced it

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for fear of not being accepted or loved

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or whatever the struggle was.

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So Lord, we just thank you for breathing life

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into every area and aspect of who we are.

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We thank you for revealings, for healing, accelerating.

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We thank you for divine supernatural breakthrough

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and release.

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We thank you, Lord, that you would, yeah, Lord,

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just continue to shift our mindsets

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to help us to see a more heavenly perspective,

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help us to see you, Father, as a good father,

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not a taskmaster,

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not someone who's just always looking to find fault in us,

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but God, we would see you as a kind

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and faithful and good father.

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And we just thank you, Lord,

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for everything that you're gonna do tonight.

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We thank you for the forgiveness that you have sent to us

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through your son, Jesus.

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Jesus, we thank you for dying on the cross

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so that we could be in relationship with you

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as you are in relationship and one with the Father

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so that we could step into forgiveness and victory

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and freedom and healing.

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And we just praise you for all that you're doing.

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Holy Spirit, we thank you for being here.

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Come and have your way.

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Help us to humble ourselves,

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to hear that we would have ears

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to hear what your spirit is saying.

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Yes, Lord, we thank you in advance for it in Jesus' name.

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Amen.

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I'm so glad that God is a forgiving God, aren't you?

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I'm so glad because he forgave me for so many things

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and I'm so grateful.

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Tonight, we're gonna talk about forgiveness.

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Y'all, I teed it up.

285
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You didn't know, but even as I was praying,

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we're praying into the things

287
00:13:48.440 --> 00:13:51.460
that we're gonna be talking about.

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And I wanna start with tethers.

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I want y'all to be thinking about

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different kinds of tethers and ropes,

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00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:01.600
things that are bound together, kind of intertwined.

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Even this afternoon, I saw this kind of image in my mind

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of like a bunch of strings that are all woven together

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and the fabric of those was coming apart.

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And in this sense,

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a tether is something where it's holding it to it.

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So I liken it to a tetherball game.

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When I was in elementary school, we had tetherball.

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It's a pole with a rope and a ball on it.

300
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Some of my ladies that have been here for a while,

301
00:14:24.400 --> 00:14:26.280
you've heard this story before.

302
00:14:26.280 --> 00:14:28.440
But for those of you that have maybe not thought

303
00:14:28.440 --> 00:14:31.360
about this concept, it is a game that kids play.

304
00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:35.440
But the way I liken it to unforgiveness is this.

305
00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:37.160
At the end of the day,

306
00:14:37.160 --> 00:14:38.760
when you're done playing the tetherball game,

307
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most schools will take the rope and the ball down

308
00:14:41.760 --> 00:14:43.840
and there'll just be a pole there.

309
00:14:43.860 --> 00:14:46.740
But let's say with unforgiveness,

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the ball and the rope are never taken apart from the pole.

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Okay, they're continuously tethered to the pole.

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And that's how it is with unforgiveness.

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We are literally being tethered to the people.

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00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.000
in the situations that we are choosing to not forgive.

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That means we're bound to them.

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We're connected to them.

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The ropes are intertwined

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and we are caught in the mix of all of that.

319
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So I wanna encourage you all tonight

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just to be praying right now about things in your journey,

321
00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:22.080
people, places, situations,

322
00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:27.080
where the enemy has tried to bring breakdown and trauma

323
00:15:27.640 --> 00:15:29.960
and he has been successful at times

324
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and the areas where the enemy has really tried

325
00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:35.160
to get you into a place of bitterness,

326
00:15:35.160 --> 00:15:39.120
resentment, unforgiveness, maybe anger, maybe wrath,

327
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maybe feelings of rage, you know, these things in us.

328
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And maybe for some of you,

329
00:15:43.880 --> 00:15:46.600
it's this like dull frustration

330
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where you're just constantly, you know,

331
00:15:49.400 --> 00:15:52.360
you're in this place of just criticalness.

332
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You're just critical of other people

333
00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:56.080
and it's happening on a regular basis

334
00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:58.920
and then something happens and you go from zero to 180

335
00:15:58.920 --> 00:16:02.400
and you're just mad and there's no real in-between.

336
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I want you to be thinking about

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00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:05.760
where does that stuff come from in you

338
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:08.680
because God doesn't want it to remain.

339
00:16:08.680 --> 00:16:10.680
And a lot of times from my experience,

340
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it is bitterness, it is unforgiveness,

341
00:16:13.100 --> 00:16:16.440
it is resentment that is underneath the surface

342
00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:20.280
where sadness and brokenness occurred

343
00:16:20.280 --> 00:16:23.040
and it went undealt with.

344
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Unresolved sadness and pain and hurt

345
00:16:26.780 --> 00:16:28.760
turns into a lot of these other things

346
00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:30.640
that we're talking about tonight.

347
00:16:30.640 --> 00:16:32.720
I want you to think about,

348
00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:34.120
I forgot my sunglasses again

349
00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:36.400
for those that were on the afternoon session.

350
00:16:36.400 --> 00:16:38.540
Sarah Shell put a pair of sunglasses on for us

351
00:16:38.540 --> 00:16:40.520
to give you all an example,

352
00:16:40.520 --> 00:16:42.160
but I think y'all can picture it.

353
00:16:42.160 --> 00:16:44.320
If I was putting sunglasses on right now,

354
00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:47.340
I was telling the story, this literally happened.

355
00:16:47.340 --> 00:16:48.600
We moved to Florida

356
00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:50.320
and I've had these sunglasses for years, y'all,

357
00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:53.280
so it's even funnier that I'm even telling it again tonight,

358
00:16:53.280 --> 00:16:55.620
but we had just moved recently to Florida.

359
00:16:55.620 --> 00:16:58.280
This was about a year, we've almost been here a year

360
00:16:58.800 --> 00:17:01.160
and my husband and I were at the beach

361
00:17:01.160 --> 00:17:02.640
and I was looking over to the left

362
00:17:02.640 --> 00:17:05.800
and I was saying to him, look at those peach clouds.

363
00:17:05.800 --> 00:17:07.319
Those are like so awesome.

364
00:17:07.319 --> 00:17:10.440
They're like this light pink peach color clouds.

365
00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:12.520
And he's like, what are you talking about?

366
00:17:12.520 --> 00:17:14.359
And I was like, don't, why can't you see them?

367
00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:15.800
I'm like pointing at these clouds

368
00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:19.520
and I was adamant that I was seeing these pink peach clouds

369
00:17:19.520 --> 00:17:21.640
and he's like, Bethany, they're white.

370
00:17:21.640 --> 00:17:22.640
And I was like, what?

371
00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:24.839
And then it dawned on me, oh,

372
00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:25.760
because they're kind of light.

373
00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:28.560
Sometimes forget I even have my sunglasses on.

374
00:17:28.560 --> 00:17:31.120
I had my sunglasses, y'all, on, y'all.

375
00:17:31.120 --> 00:17:34.080
And so what was happening is I have all this extra,

376
00:17:34.080 --> 00:17:35.800
the UV sunglasses that are out now

377
00:17:35.800 --> 00:17:37.600
and they protect our eyes and all this stuff,

378
00:17:37.600 --> 00:17:41.680
but they have extra color in them, right?

379
00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:44.640
So I'm looking and I'm seeing one thing,

380
00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:46.700
but that's not what's really there.

381
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:53.000
And I want to liken that to filters, blind spots,

382
00:17:53.840 --> 00:17:55.440
brokenness.

383
00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:59.440
When we have brokenness and unforgiveness in our hearts,

384
00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:01.400
in our lives, in our souls,

385
00:18:01.400 --> 00:18:05.800
it taints and changes how we see everything.

386
00:18:05.800 --> 00:18:09.000
It changes the way we show up with ourselves,

387
00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:13.220
with other people, at work, at church, with family.

388
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:16.360
It changes the way we see ourselves

389
00:18:16.360 --> 00:18:17.600
when we look in the mirror.

390
00:18:17.600 --> 00:18:20.980
Remember we talked last week about hatred

391
00:18:20.980 --> 00:18:22.400
actually begins with self-hatred.

392
00:18:23.160 --> 00:18:25.240
Or maybe two weeks ago, whenever I said it,

393
00:18:25.240 --> 00:18:27.280
but if y'all don't know that,

394
00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:30.480
when we have hatred towards other people,

395
00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:35.040
it often begins with hating something about ourselves.

396
00:18:35.040 --> 00:18:36.960
So we want to come out of alignment and agreement

397
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:39.840
with these filters and these blind spots

398
00:18:39.840 --> 00:18:42.600
and the brokenness and the unforgiveness

399
00:18:42.600 --> 00:18:47.320
that is causing us to also see God differently.

400
00:18:48.320 --> 00:18:52.280
It causes us to sometimes become disconnected from God

401
00:18:52.280 --> 00:18:56.120
because we actually believe God has moved away from us.

402
00:18:56.120 --> 00:19:01.080
When God has not moved, we've moved, we've shifted.

403
00:19:01.080 --> 00:19:02.920
We believe that he doesn't love us.

404
00:19:02.920 --> 00:19:06.040
We believe that his love is conditional when it's not.

405
00:19:06.040 --> 00:19:07.480
His love is unconditional.

406
00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:10.040
It says not height, nor depth, nor principality,

407
00:19:10.040 --> 00:19:12.720
nor power, nor things in the present, nor things to come

408
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:16.280
would ever separate us from the love of God.

409
00:19:16.520 --> 00:19:21.520
So why do we believe the lie that God doesn't love us?

410
00:19:21.760 --> 00:19:23.100
It's interesting, right?

411
00:19:23.100 --> 00:19:24.920
If you really just kind of break it down

412
00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:27.880
and simplify it to that and just think on it.

413
00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:30.400
And then not only that, but then,

414
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.460
well, what about when someone does something that hurts us?

415
00:19:34.460 --> 00:19:36.380
Well, does God love them?

416
00:19:36.380 --> 00:19:38.320
Yep, he does.

417
00:19:38.320 --> 00:19:39.160
He does.

418
00:19:40.120 --> 00:19:42.160
And sometimes that's hard for us to swallow

419
00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:46.080
because we are angry with them for what they've done to us.

420
00:19:46.840 --> 00:19:47.840
And rightfully so sometimes.

421
00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:50.280
Can I just say, sometimes it's okay.

422
00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:51.800
Well, it's always okay for what we feel,

423
00:19:51.800 --> 00:19:54.840
but man, sometimes it's just like, wow,

424
00:19:54.840 --> 00:19:57.040
can't believe what this person did.

425
00:19:57.040 --> 00:19:59.040
But here's the key.

426
00:19:59.040 --> 00:19:59.880
How we feel.

427
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.880
and what we choose to do with our feelings are two different things.

428
00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:11.880
So my question for you tonight is where have you allowed your feelings to lead

429
00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:17.520
you down a road that's unhealthy for you? One of the things I wrote down this

430
00:20:17.520 --> 00:20:25.720
this afternoon is the phrases I can't and I won't and what what I'm gonna talk

431
00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:31.040
about right now is I had a little session with a young lady she's 18 years

432
00:20:31.040 --> 00:20:38.040
old she's here in Fort Myers last week and was chatting with her and she said I

433
00:20:38.040 --> 00:20:45.040
cannot forgive my family I cannot and the more we talked about it she's like I

434
00:20:45.040 --> 00:20:53.640
won't I won't forgive them for what they did they deserve punishment I want to

435
00:20:53.640 --> 00:20:57.800
see them pay and she literally said that you know a lot of us feel this way

436
00:20:57.800 --> 00:21:02.480
whether we admit it or not at some point one way or another some of us more

437
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:07.400
subtly than other people but we have this in our flesh this need for

438
00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:13.160
vengeance and what I want to say to you tonight is God is not a God of vengeance

439
00:21:13.160 --> 00:21:19.880
in the sense of like you know eye for an eye that's not the God we serve okay he

440
00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:27.880
was on the cross dying for us each one of you so I want you to personalize

441
00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:37.480
that tonight I want you to really think about what Jesus did for you a lot of

442
00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:40.840
people will say this also came up this afternoon I loved this a lot of people

443
00:21:40.840 --> 00:21:45.800
will be just like oh I'm a sinner saved by grace well okay yeah you were but

444
00:21:45.800 --> 00:21:50.200
once you give your life to Jesus Christ you are separated that is not your

445
00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:56.240
identity but here's the reality we all struggle with sin we all do and even

446
00:21:56.240 --> 00:22:00.040
people that are really strong in their faith like you know there's things that

447
00:22:00.040 --> 00:22:04.520
we get tripped up with and we need to be willing to not get into the place

448
00:22:04.520 --> 00:22:09.800
there's a scripture that actually like talks about like woe to him who thinks

449
00:22:09.800 --> 00:22:16.160
he has no sin I'm paraphrasing it we have to be really careful here as we are

450
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:20.400
walking in our Christian walk and we go through hurt and we hold on to things or

451
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:26.160
we believe that there's nothing we're doing wrong therefore we feel justified

452
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:32.640
in not forgiving someone because what they did is way worse than what I do

453
00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:39.240
this is how we do it right anyone else ever done it cuz I've done it come on

454
00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:44.760
confession time yeah so we want to step out of that stuff we want to step into

455
00:22:44.760 --> 00:22:48.520
healing and we want to step out of unforgiveness bitterness and resentment

456
00:22:48.520 --> 00:22:52.800
again just kind of reiterating so that it continues to resonate in your spirit

457
00:22:52.800 --> 00:22:56.040
tonight I want to read a little something to you from the heart work

458
00:22:56.040 --> 00:22:59.840
book for those that don't know anytime I say if I ever forget to say the heart

459
00:22:59.840 --> 00:23:03.680
work book I'm always talking about the heart work book okay this is what it

460
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:07.080
says she's talking about blind spots and filters here and I might have read this

461
00:23:07.080 --> 00:23:11.280
last week I don't remember but we're gonna get it again when you walk into

462
00:23:11.280 --> 00:23:17.080
any situation it doesn't matter what it is bad or good you don't see that thing

463
00:23:17.080 --> 00:23:22.360
that place those people the way that they are you see them the way that you

464
00:23:22.360 --> 00:23:30.880
are on the inside so how are you doing on the inside and how is that impacting

465
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:34.520
the way that you're showing up again and seeing those people then she goes on to

466
00:23:34.520 --> 00:23:37.800
say let me say that again so you can really get a hold of it we don't see

467
00:23:37.800 --> 00:23:41.720
things the way they truly are again this is when we're living into those

468
00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:46.480
counterfeit identities and those blind spots and filters we see them the way

469
00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:50.240
that we are for instance say you were severely hurt by a group of people they

470
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:54.080
mistreated you lied about you and then discarded you the heart wounds and

471
00:23:54.080 --> 00:23:57.880
lies that were created as a result of that trauma will give you a skewed

472
00:23:57.880 --> 00:24:01.560
perception of groups in the future you may avoid groups or communities of

473
00:24:01.560 --> 00:24:06.600
people like the plague convincing yourself they are all bad y'all let's

474
00:24:06.600 --> 00:24:12.000
also put in here if you've experienced betrayal on any level in a relationship

475
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:16.320
whether it was a romantic relationship or a family member or whatever you're

476
00:24:16.320 --> 00:24:22.080
going most people often will will kind of project that on to all family members

477
00:24:22.080 --> 00:24:28.280
all men always my mom you know there's always these we kind of lump things if

478
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:31.840
you ever go through counseling one of the things they tell you not to do is

479
00:24:31.840 --> 00:24:36.720
use the words always and never they really want to encourage you to not use

480
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:41.480
those kind of terms because it's not true even if it's something you've

481
00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:45.920
experienced several times like maybe some of you I don't know if you're like

482
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:51.640
me but I went through several scenarios where men were abusive in my life and so

483
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:57.120
the enemy wanted me to partner with men are abusive men are bad men are

484
00:24:57.120 --> 00:25:02.000
dangerous men are liars men are cheaters

485
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.000
And for a long time, those were things I did partner with.

486
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:10.000
But when I chose to forgive and I'm on the path of healing, guess what?

487
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:13.000
The Lord's starting to call me. He's calling me out of that stuff.

488
00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:17.000
More and more and more, you all. And that is the path that you are on as well.

489
00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:19.000
Okay, we're going to keep going.

490
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:21.000
You may try again to search for community,

491
00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:24.000
but if you do decide to join a similar group in the future,

492
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:34.000
your most significant obstacle to belonging will be the filter that was created by your prior experience.

493
00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:37.000
Some of you all, you're trying to be in romantic relationships,

494
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:43.000
but the problem is you haven't healed fully from the past situations.

495
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:48.000
And so you keep getting tripped up and you're wondering why nothing is changing there.

496
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:52.000
For some of you, you haven't entered ever into a relationship.

497
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:57.000
I know I have ladies in this community and this group that have never been married.

498
00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:00.000
And some of them we've and I don't know if anybody right now,

499
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:05.000
but we've definitely had women in our community that when they came in here, they had never dated.

500
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.000
I have a lady right now in phase two. She's never dated.

501
00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:12.000
Okay. So no matter what category you're in,

502
00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:16.000
let's look at what's keeping you from moving into those places.

503
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:19.000
And the Lord knows what those things are.

504
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:22.000
All right. So I want to go further into the forgiveness thing.

505
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:29.000
We got to keep moving. Matthew 22 39 says this, love your neighbor as you love yourself.

506
00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:33.000
So if you're struggling to forgive someone, I'm going to,

507
00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:42.000
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there's somewhere deep down that you're also not choosing to forgive yourself.

508
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:48.000
You're choosing to not love yourself because when we love ourselves out of the overflow of our heart,

509
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:52.000
our mouth speaks and we also make choices out of the overflow of our heart.

510
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:57.000
And we will choose typically when we are rooted and grounded in love and we're flowing in the spirit,

511
00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:00.000
not after the flesh, we're going to choose to walk in the fruits of the spirit,

512
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:08.000
which are love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

513
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:14.000
Y'all hear unforgiveness in there anywhere? It's not there. Right.

514
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:19.000
So are you fulfilling your flesh? Are you filling,

515
00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:23.000
fulfilling the fruits of the spirit and where the spirit is wanting you to walk?

516
00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:28.000
Forgiveness is not a feeling, but it's a choice.

517
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:32.000
A lot of times you're not going to feel like forgiving, okay?

518
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:38.000
But choosing to forgive out of obedience is, is a blessing.

519
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:41.000
It's an honor to be able to get to do those things because again,

520
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:47.000
Christ came and did it for us. He forgave us. So how can we withhold it from another?

521
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:52.000
And again, for some of you, it feels just like gut-wrenching to forgive someone.

522
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:55.000
And I want to encourage you that if that's you,

523
00:27:55.000 --> 00:28:00.000
to ask the Lord to give you the grace and the courage to choose to forgive, okay?

524
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:05.000
To step into that and resist where the enemy is trying to lead you.

525
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:09.000
And that bitter root, man, when, once it gets in there,

526
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:14.000
I was telling our church this past weekend, where a bitter root comes in,

527
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.000
it can stop the flow of the Holy spirit.

528
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:20.000
Y'all can stop it up, right? Like there's a dam in there. Okay.

529
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:23.000
Ephesians 4.23 says this, forgive one another,

530
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:29.000
just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.

531
00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:33.000
Colossians 3.13 in the NLT version says this, remember the Lord forgave you.

532
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:37.000
So you must also forgive others.

533
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:39.000
You want to forgive all the characters in the story.

534
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:47.000
And I mentioned this a few moments ago, including yourself, if it is needed.

535
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:55.000
I just heard the Lord say, come out, come out wherever you are, hide and seek.

536
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:56.000
And so for some of you,

537
00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:02.000
I believe the Holy spirit is saying like you're hiding and it's time to come out

538
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.000
of hiding. And, and in that,

539
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.000
I was thinking about something I expressed to the group this afternoon about,

540
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:12.000
you know, the prison gates are open.

541
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:16.000
The door's unlocked and the door is open,

542
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:21.000
but yet some of you are staying inside the prison cell or the cage or

543
00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:25.000
however you want to look at it. But the Holy spirit is saying, come out,

544
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:30.000
come out wherever you are, come out of hiding, come into the light,

545
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:35.000
let the light shine on the parts of your heart where man, it does hurt.

546
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.000
It is hard. But when we surrender that to the Lord, guess what?

547
00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:43.000
He takes heart and he makes it possible.

548
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:46.000
He takes heart and he makes it possible. And so forgiveness,

549
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:49.000
I want you to know also tends to happen in layers. Some of you,

550
00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:53.000
you've worked on situations before, but when you're here in the heartwork,

551
00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:56.000
it's, it might come back up again. And if that happens for you,

552
00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:59.000
I want to encourage you just to be willing like Lord. Okay.

553
00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:00.000
I know.

554
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.720
I've worked on this situation before, but it's coming back up in my spirit.

555
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:06.800
Is there something else you want me to know about it?

556
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:12.800
Is there another aspect of healing or forgiveness that you need me to walk

557
00:30:12.800 --> 00:30:16.640
in something I don't see and just be open?

558
00:30:17.400 --> 00:30:21.480
Some people tend to get really nervous when that happens, when the same

559
00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:23.560
thing comes up multiple times.

560
00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:26.760
Um, it doesn't mean you're going to have to go all the way back through

561
00:30:26.760 --> 00:30:28.880
everything that you did before.

562
00:30:29.240 --> 00:30:32.360
Some of you might, because maybe there's a whole layer of healing

563
00:30:32.360 --> 00:30:33.600
that just a whole thing.

564
00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:37.720
But for the most part, from my experience, the Lord will take people

565
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:42.560
into aspects, new layers, new, new revealings for healing.

566
00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:46.080
He kind of builds on things and helps you, you know, when you're

567
00:30:46.080 --> 00:30:47.920
ready, he reveals that thing.

568
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:52.600
Uh, Ruth, that was Colossians 3.13 and the NLT version.

569
00:30:52.840 --> 00:30:53.120
Yeah.

570
00:30:53.800 --> 00:30:57.720
Um, and so I'm getting ready to, um, put y'all in breakouts.

571
00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:02.560
Your question tonight is who do you need to forgive and why, who do

572
00:31:02.560 --> 00:31:05.760
you need to forgive tonight and why, before I put you in there, I want

573
00:31:05.760 --> 00:31:09.320
you to hear another thing that I want to share on here real quick.

574
00:31:10.840 --> 00:31:14.720
It's called victims, survivors, and thriving.

575
00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:15.760
Okay.

576
00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:20.880
Three categories, victims, survivors, and thriving.

577
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:25.360
And before I go through this and explain this a little bit more, what I want you

578
00:31:25.360 --> 00:31:31.240
to understand is that when we are hurt by someone else, yes, in a sense we are

579
00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:36.840
a victim, okay, but the difference is that we don't have to stay there.

580
00:31:39.000 --> 00:31:39.240
Okay.

581
00:31:39.240 --> 00:31:42.240
You don't have to be a victim forever.

582
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:43.800
That isn't your identity.

583
00:31:43.800 --> 00:31:45.360
It's something you've gone through.

584
00:31:46.840 --> 00:31:52.720
But sometimes what happens is people partner with victim and they don't

585
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:57.280
heal and they stay there in victim mode, victim mindsets.

586
00:31:57.520 --> 00:32:00.240
And I'm going to go through these a little bit here in just a moment.

587
00:32:00.840 --> 00:32:05.040
Victims tend to feel blameless or excuse me, feel helpless.

588
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:12.600
Victims tend to feel helpless, blame other people and focus on the past.

589
00:32:16.320 --> 00:32:20.360
Victims tend to feel helpless, blame others and focus on the past.

590
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.080
A survivor, again, this is amazing.

591
00:32:23.080 --> 00:32:25.480
If you've survived something, you've overcome it.

592
00:32:26.400 --> 00:32:27.480
It's a blessing.

593
00:32:29.280 --> 00:32:30.960
But it's not the end.

594
00:32:31.120 --> 00:32:33.520
The thriving is where we want to live, ladies.

595
00:32:33.520 --> 00:32:33.840
Okay.

596
00:32:33.840 --> 00:32:36.840
But I want you to hear what a survivor tends to live like.

597
00:32:36.840 --> 00:32:38.320
Again, this is still progress.

598
00:32:38.320 --> 00:32:42.040
It's still a good thing, but I want to encourage you all to go all the way

599
00:32:42.040 --> 00:32:45.120
through to thriving in every area of your lives.

600
00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:47.520
Survivors reclaim their power.

601
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:50.320
They take responsibility for choices.

602
00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:52.040
They choose to heal.

603
00:32:52.040 --> 00:32:53.560
So you all are coming here.

604
00:32:53.560 --> 00:32:54.640
You're survivors.

605
00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:56.600
You're choosing to invest in your healing.

606
00:32:56.600 --> 00:33:00.320
Some of you are going to receive like really incredible healing.

607
00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:01.400
They start saying no.

608
00:33:01.400 --> 00:33:03.440
So they start setting healthy boundaries.

609
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:06.720
They continue to live and or exist.

610
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:08.840
So they're, they're in that surviving.

611
00:33:08.840 --> 00:33:09.520
I'm here.

612
00:33:09.520 --> 00:33:10.480
I'm alive.

613
00:33:11.640 --> 00:33:15.600
I can, I can establish healthy, you know, habits again, that

614
00:33:15.600 --> 00:33:16.800
kind of, that kind of place.

615
00:33:17.360 --> 00:33:19.600
Those that are in the thriving mode.

616
00:33:19.640 --> 00:33:21.440
This is how they tend to live.

617
00:33:21.840 --> 00:33:23.360
They focus on the future.

618
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:27.280
They have power regarding their future.

619
00:33:27.280 --> 00:33:31.040
Again, God is always in control, but there's definitely an authority that

620
00:33:31.040 --> 00:33:35.000
I live in now that I didn't use to live in, in the past regarding even

621
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:40.560
relationships, romantic, family, my, my calling, everything, my whole life

622
00:33:40.560 --> 00:33:42.000
has changed in the last four years.

623
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:45.280
You all sincerely last five.

624
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:46.360
Last five.

625
00:33:46.360 --> 00:33:47.680
I guess I started the program.

626
00:33:48.080 --> 00:33:51.200
Yeah, about last four, four years, a little over that now.

627
00:33:51.720 --> 00:33:52.600
Um, okay.

628
00:33:52.600 --> 00:33:53.280
I'm going to keep going.

629
00:33:53.600 --> 00:33:56.520
Uh, those that are thriving also surround themselves

630
00:33:56.520 --> 00:33:57.800
with other people who thrive.

631
00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:02.200
So I want some like for you all to be thinking about, you know,

632
00:34:02.200 --> 00:34:03.400
who are you hanging out with?

633
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:05.760
Who are the influencers in your life?

634
00:34:05.760 --> 00:34:07.880
Who are the people that are speaking into your life?

635
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:11.400
Are they thriving or are they victim?

636
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:14.719
Birds of a feather tend to flock together.

637
00:34:14.840 --> 00:34:15.360
You all.

638
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:16.639
Okay.

639
00:34:16.920 --> 00:34:21.320
And sometimes some of you, uh, there's a book out there called the dream

640
00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:24.520
giver and the journey that this guy goes through, he's leaving the land

641
00:34:24.520 --> 00:34:27.600
of familiar to go into where God is calling him into, and that's

642
00:34:27.600 --> 00:34:28.679
where some of you have been.

643
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:31.800
You've been trying to leave the land of familiar, but every time you

644
00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:34.440
try to move forward, there's things, the enemy is just trying to use

645
00:34:34.440 --> 00:34:38.440
people in situations to keep pulling you backwards, but God is like, no,

646
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:39.360
I want you to go forward.

647
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:40.040
You've got this.

648
00:34:40.040 --> 00:34:40.719
You can do this.

649
00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:41.440
You can thrive.

650
00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:46.880
You can be different than those people, but you have to choose to

651
00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:50.440
believe it first and foremost, people that are thriving, grow,

652
00:34:50.440 --> 00:34:52.639
develop, prosper, and flourish.

653
00:34:56.080 --> 00:34:57.880
So I want to note here too.

654
00:34:58.520 --> 00:34:59.000
Um,

655
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:06.480
Stressors are things that cause people to react versus respond. Okay, so when y'all get triggered,

656
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:09.760
it's because there's still things that need healed underneath the surface.

657
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:14.880
So let's pay attention to when you get triggered or if you get triggered, what's causing that?

658
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:20.320
What are the lies you're hearing when that's happening? I want you to also hear about the

659
00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:29.520
land of thrive. The land of thrive make choices about what you want to do. How do you want to

660
00:35:29.520 --> 00:35:34.800
experience the world? How will you act? What are your attitudes going to like? What attitudes do

661
00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:40.400
you want to have and live with? Where to focus on your responses? So they tend to create

662
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:46.960
opportunities for themselves. So they don't tend to see the glass half half empty, they tend to see

663
00:35:46.960 --> 00:35:52.000
it pretty full. All right, and then there's a couple other little things I wanted to just bring

664
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:57.680
to your attention as well. Let me just find it here. Sorry, y'all thought I had this marked.

665
00:35:57.680 --> 00:36:03.040
I think I lost my place this afternoon in this. I might just do this after y'all come back if I

666
00:36:03.040 --> 00:36:07.680
can't find it real quick. Oh, here it is. Here it is. Okay, here are a couple victim identities.

667
00:36:07.680 --> 00:36:14.400
Okay, so these are in addition to the things I've already mentioned. And there can be so much more,

668
00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:19.600
so many more of these, but these are just a couple to get you thinking. They ruined my life.

669
00:36:20.560 --> 00:36:24.560
Okay, that statement right there, you're giving everybody else power,

670
00:36:24.560 --> 00:36:30.560
especially that person that hurt you. Okay, I will never recover.

671
00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:43.360
I can't get over this. This can never be fixed. It's not fair. And they made me like this.

672
00:36:43.360 --> 00:36:50.480
They made me like this. Okay, I want you to be thinking about any ways, maybe those statements

673
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:55.120
in one way or another, maybe not that exact statement have tried to show up in your heart,

674
00:36:55.120 --> 00:37:01.440
mind and spirit over the years. Okay. All right. Again, who do you need to forgive tonight and why

675
00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:04.720
I'm going to get these breakout rooms set up. If you've never done a breakout room,

676
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:09.280
as soon as I say, okay, click to join, you're going to see something pop up on your screen.

677
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:14.080
And I want to encourage you to click to join those breakout rooms as quick as you can. If you're not

678
00:37:14.080 --> 00:37:18.320
able to join a breakout session, please put that in the chat for me. Like if you're at work

679
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:20.800
and you're unable to talk or something like that. Okay.

680
00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:27.040
And we're going to do nine minutes for this first time, because I want you all to have

681
00:37:27.040 --> 00:37:31.200
a good amount of time. Remember y'all aren't trying to fix each other. You're not trying

682
00:37:31.200 --> 00:37:35.840
to give advice or counsel. You're letting each other talk about who you need to forgive tonight

683
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:40.560
and why you're creating a safe space for each other. Be short, brief and powerful. So everyone

684
00:37:40.560 --> 00:37:45.040
has a chance to go. Okay. Go ahead and click to join those. I'm going to be praying for you all

685
00:37:46.560 --> 00:37:50.400
going to click to join. As soon as I see that everybody's kind of situated in their groups,

686
00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:53.920
I'll start to pray.

687
00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:08.400
All right. Jodi, are you having trouble?

688
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:15.920
I, for some reason, I clicked out of it right away and I don't know how I did that.

689
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:19.040
It's okay. Let me see if I can. I was in group two.

690
00:38:20.560 --> 00:38:23.840
I might have to put you in a different one just because it makes it. It's okay.

691
00:38:26.160 --> 00:38:29.760
Shoot. Let me see where there's two people. Okay. Number seven.

692
00:38:30.560 --> 00:38:32.800
All right. Thanks. Oh, you're welcome.

693
00:38:35.920 --> 00:38:41.040
Hi, Jodi. I think that maybe you just joined after I got those rooms together. So let's

694
00:38:41.040 --> 00:38:46.800
get you situated here into a room. They're talking about who are you going to forgive

695
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:52.320
tonight and why. And I'm going to put you in that breakout room right now. That should be there for

696
00:38:52.320 --> 00:39:09.760
you. All right. Lord, we just thank you so much for this night. We thank you, God, for everything

697
00:39:10.560 --> 00:39:14.960
that you're already doing. God, the revealings for healing that are happening. God, we just

698
00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:21.920
completely choose to surrender to you tonight. We ask you to help us, Lord, to, yeah, Lord,

699
00:39:21.920 --> 00:39:28.000
just to let go of any pride, any ego that might get in the way of us choosing to forgive. We

700
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:35.040
thank you, God, also for grace, for supernatural empowerment of your Holy Spirit to enable us to

701
00:39:35.040 --> 00:39:40.560
choose to forgive tonight. We thank you for helping us to hear what your spirit is saying to us.

702
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:52.640
Laura, I'm not sure what you mean to sign in. Did I say that during the live session tonight?

703
00:39:57.040 --> 00:39:58.560
Do you put that in the chat for me?

704
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.560
But you don't have to sign in for anything.

705
00:40:02.560 --> 00:40:06.440
I just meant for when the breakout sessions, there's a thing that pops up and it takes

706
00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:11.480
everybody into the breakout room, but you can stay here since you're at work with us

707
00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:13.200
in this room right here.

708
00:40:13.200 --> 00:40:14.760
Oh, that's okay.

709
00:40:14.760 --> 00:40:16.040
Yeah, that's fine.

710
00:40:16.040 --> 00:40:17.360
So you can stay here.

711
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:19.740
So glad that you're here with us this evening.

712
00:40:19.740 --> 00:40:25.200
So we just thank you also just for the reminder that in Psalm 147, three through four in the

713
00:40:25.200 --> 00:40:30.160
passion translation, it says he heals the wounds of every shattered heart.

714
00:40:30.160 --> 00:40:33.840
He sets his stars in place, calling them all by their names.

715
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:40.760
God, we just thank you that you lovingly, even as I prayed last night on the prophetic

716
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:47.360
ministry night, when I saw you just massaging the hearts of the people, God, that you lovingly

717
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:53.120
bring the shattered pieces back together and you mold them into something that is beautiful.

718
00:40:53.120 --> 00:40:59.840
And I thank you, God, that you would just allow your healing oil to flow from the top

719
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:04.200
of the heads of those that are in this community and this group to the bottom of their feet,

720
00:41:04.200 --> 00:41:09.520
that they would receive a revelation of your healing oil that's flowing down.

721
00:41:09.520 --> 00:41:13.440
And there's even a song that comes to mind, Kim Walker Smith, she sings, it's about the

722
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:14.440
healing oil.

723
00:41:14.440 --> 00:41:17.600
I don't know if that's what it's called, but that's what comes to mind.

724
00:41:17.600 --> 00:41:20.760
So just maybe for you all to check that out at some point.

725
00:41:20.760 --> 00:41:21.760
Hi, Lisa.

726
00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:22.760
How are you?

727
00:41:22.760 --> 00:41:25.760
Are you able to join breakout groups tonight?

728
00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:33.320
If so, I'm going to put you in a breakout there talking about who do you need to forgive

729
00:41:33.320 --> 00:41:34.760
tonight and why.

730
00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:41.760
I don't know if you can hear me, Lisa, or not.

731
00:41:41.760 --> 00:41:42.760
Lisa Grapes?

732
00:41:44.760 --> 00:41:45.760
All right.

733
00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:49.320
Well, I'm going to keep praying, and you can put it in the chat there for me if you're

734
00:41:49.320 --> 00:41:51.320
not able to speak or share.

735
00:41:51.320 --> 00:41:52.320
Okay.

736
00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:57.760
Father, thank you so much as well just for, yeah, it makes me think of the scripture too.

737
00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:02.280
I can't remember where it's at right now, but it talks about God preparing a table for

738
00:42:02.280 --> 00:42:04.480
us in the presence of our enemies.

739
00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:11.200
So Lord, we thank you that you redeem all situations, Lord, and we don't always know

740
00:42:11.200 --> 00:42:15.480
how you're going to create that table in the presence of our enemies, but God, we thank

741
00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:19.040
you that, oh, you were in a group and you got kicked out.

742
00:42:19.040 --> 00:42:20.040
Oh, I see you.

743
00:42:20.040 --> 00:42:21.040
I see you right there.

744
00:42:21.040 --> 00:42:22.040
Hold on one second.

745
00:42:22.040 --> 00:42:23.040
Let me put you in there.

746
00:42:25.040 --> 00:42:26.040
All right.

747
00:42:26.040 --> 00:42:32.960
That just should have popped up for you, that God, you would supernaturally help us to understand

748
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:37.520
that you work all things together for good to save many people alive, and just like the

749
00:42:37.520 --> 00:42:41.600
story of Joseph, like, Lord, all the things that he went through, and he just surrendered

750
00:42:41.600 --> 00:42:43.360
that always to you.

751
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:47.840
And God, the increase in the blessing that was upon his life as a result.

752
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:52.360
And Lord, we know that you didn't try to harm Joseph and you didn't try to harm us.

753
00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:59.000
It was the enemy using people to try to kill, steal, and destroy as John 10, 10 declares,

754
00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:02.560
but Jesus came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.

755
00:43:02.560 --> 00:43:07.200
So I thank you, Lord, that you help us to step into that abundance and the fullness

756
00:43:07.200 --> 00:43:09.760
of all your plans and your purposes for us.

757
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:15.480
John 3, 16 says, for this is how much God loved the world.

758
00:43:15.480 --> 00:43:19.800
He gave us one and only son, unique son as a gift.

759
00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:26.600
So now everyone who believes in him will never perish, but experience everlasting life.

760
00:43:26.600 --> 00:43:30.920
Lord, we thank you for the gift of your son and Jesus.

761
00:43:30.920 --> 00:43:32.360
Again, we thank you for coming.

762
00:43:32.360 --> 00:43:40.360
We thank you for allowing us to just be in union with you, to receive the blessings that

763
00:43:40.360 --> 00:43:43.240
you have prepared for us.

764
00:43:43.240 --> 00:43:47.240
We thank you for 2 Corinthians 1, 3-4 and the message translation that says this,

765
00:43:47.240 --> 00:43:51.720
all praise to the God and father of our master, Jesus, the Messiah, father of all mercy,

766
00:43:51.720 --> 00:43:53.480
God of all healing counsel.

767
00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:56.040
He comes alongside of us when we go through hard times.

768
00:43:56.040 --> 00:44:00.920
And before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who's going through hard times

769
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:04.600
so that we can be there for that person, just as God was there for us.

770
00:44:04.600 --> 00:44:09.640
God, we thank you that there's always a purpose that can be created out of

771
00:44:09.640 --> 00:44:11.400
and through the pain that we've been through.

772
00:44:11.400 --> 00:44:16.600
God, even myself, that I'm able to, and I get to do what I'm doing right now.

773
00:44:16.600 --> 00:44:20.840
God, I don't believe you caused the pain in my life, but God, I thank you for the opportunity

774
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:26.440
that I get to use that pain to help set other people free for a purpose.

775
00:44:26.440 --> 00:44:30.840
God, ultimately to declare your kingdom here on this earth.

776
00:44:30.840 --> 00:44:34.760
We thank you, God, that you would help us to shift out of victim mindsets and modes

777
00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:39.400
and heart postures and that we would, yeah, just continue to heal a little bit more,

778
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:42.920
that we would come a little bit closer to you, Lord, and that we would receive

779
00:44:44.280 --> 00:44:48.760
the fullness of your plans and promises for our lives, including our love stories

780
00:44:48.760 --> 00:44:53.560
for all those that haven't stepped into their love stories yet.

781
00:44:53.560 --> 00:44:59.800
God, we thank you for continuing to, yeah, restore and rebuild all the broken.

782
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.440
fallen places in our lives.

783
00:45:01.440 --> 00:45:02.800
We thank you.

784
00:45:02.800 --> 00:45:05.560
Then in Isaiah 43, four through six, it says,

785
00:45:05.560 --> 00:45:08.120
yet it was our weaknesses he carried.

786
00:45:08.120 --> 00:45:10.560
It was our sorrows that weighed him down.

787
00:45:10.560 --> 00:45:13.600
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,

788
00:45:13.600 --> 00:45:15.080
a punishment for his own sins,

789
00:45:15.080 --> 00:45:19.000
but he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins.

790
00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:21.280
He was beaten so we could be whole.

791
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:25.360
He was whipped so that we could be healed.

792
00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:28.900
Matthew 7, 24 through 25 in the message translation says

793
00:45:29.100 --> 00:45:32.260
these words I speak to you are not incidental.

794
00:45:32.260 --> 00:45:34.820
And this is Jesus speaking, additions to your life,

795
00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:36.980
homeowner improvements to your standard of living.

796
00:45:36.980 --> 00:45:39.840
They are foundational words, words to build a life on.

797
00:45:39.840 --> 00:45:41.520
If you work these words into your life,

798
00:45:41.520 --> 00:45:43.620
you're like a smart carpenter

799
00:45:43.620 --> 00:45:46.600
who built his house on a solid rock.

800
00:45:46.600 --> 00:45:49.620
Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit,

801
00:45:49.620 --> 00:45:52.720
but nothing moved that house.

802
00:45:52.720 --> 00:45:54.500
It was fixed to the rock.

803
00:45:54.500 --> 00:45:55.980
God, I thank you that you would help us

804
00:45:55.980 --> 00:45:58.540
to fix ourselves upon the rock,

805
00:45:58.580 --> 00:46:02.080
which is you, God, that we would draw a little bit closer.

806
00:46:03.160 --> 00:46:04.820
Yes, Lord, I thank you that you would help us

807
00:46:04.820 --> 00:46:07.380
to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God,

808
00:46:07.380 --> 00:46:09.780
that we would hear, God, what your spirit is saying.

809
00:46:09.780 --> 00:46:11.980
Your word declares that we are your sheep.

810
00:46:11.980 --> 00:46:13.780
When we live for you, Jesus,

811
00:46:13.780 --> 00:46:16.820
when we've accepted you into our hearts and our lives,

812
00:46:16.820 --> 00:46:19.260
and that your sheep hear your voice.

813
00:46:19.260 --> 00:46:21.940
God, I also declare that we will always obey

814
00:46:21.940 --> 00:46:24.840
whatever you call us to do and ask us to do.

815
00:46:24.840 --> 00:46:26.620
God, I thank you that you would help us

816
00:46:26.620 --> 00:46:31.460
to receive the fullness of your love and your blessings.

817
00:46:31.460 --> 00:46:33.520
God, where the enemies try to cause us

818
00:46:33.520 --> 00:46:36.980
to have doubt or unbelief, God, we thank you

819
00:46:36.980 --> 00:46:40.180
that you would just impart a fresh gift of faith,

820
00:46:40.180 --> 00:46:44.140
a fresh wind of hope into our hearts, our minds,

821
00:46:44.140 --> 00:46:45.980
our spirits, our bodies, and our souls.

822
00:46:45.980 --> 00:46:47.740
We thank you, God, for healing.

823
00:46:47.740 --> 00:46:49.120
We thank you for redemption.

824
00:46:49.120 --> 00:46:51.180
We thank you for reconciliation.

825
00:46:52.420 --> 00:46:55.540
Yes, Lord, Ephesians 3, 17 through 19 says this,

826
00:46:55.540 --> 00:46:57.660
then Christ will make his home in your hearts

827
00:46:57.660 --> 00:46:59.060
as you trust in him.

828
00:46:59.060 --> 00:47:01.220
Your roots will grow down into God's love

829
00:47:01.220 --> 00:47:02.580
and keep you strong.

830
00:47:02.580 --> 00:47:04.260
And may you have the power to understand

831
00:47:04.260 --> 00:47:06.700
as all God's people should, how wide, how long,

832
00:47:06.700 --> 00:47:09.300
how high, and how deep his love is.

833
00:47:09.300 --> 00:47:11.020
May you experience the love of Christ,

834
00:47:11.020 --> 00:47:13.340
though it is too great to understand fully.

835
00:47:13.340 --> 00:47:16.020
Then you will be made complete with all the fullness

836
00:47:16.020 --> 00:47:20.200
of life and power that comes from God.

837
00:47:21.820 --> 00:47:23.940
Ephesians 3, 20 through 21 says,

838
00:47:23.940 --> 00:47:26.100
never doubt God's mighty power to work in you

839
00:47:26.100 --> 00:47:27.740
and accomplish all of this.

840
00:47:27.740 --> 00:47:30.780
He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request,

841
00:47:30.780 --> 00:47:32.140
your most unbelievable dream,

842
00:47:32.140 --> 00:47:34.500
and exceed your wildest imagination.

843
00:47:34.500 --> 00:47:36.820
He will outdo them all,

844
00:47:36.820 --> 00:47:40.420
for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.

845
00:47:40.420 --> 00:47:44.620
God, we thank you that you are rewriting our stories, God.

846
00:47:44.620 --> 00:47:47.540
We thank you that you're helping us to step into the new.

847
00:47:47.540 --> 00:47:50.420
God, that we don't have to be afraid of the past

848
00:47:50.420 --> 00:47:53.140
or defined by the mistakes we've made

849
00:47:53.180 --> 00:47:55.180
or the things that other people have done to us.

850
00:47:55.180 --> 00:47:57.940
God, that we can receive everything, the fullness.

851
00:47:57.940 --> 00:48:00.180
I already prayed that once, but I hear that again,

852
00:48:00.180 --> 00:48:02.980
that we would receive the fullness of everything

853
00:48:02.980 --> 00:48:05.140
that God has for us in Jesus' name.

854
00:48:05.140 --> 00:48:06.340
Welcome back.

855
00:48:06.340 --> 00:48:10.100
Okay, I'm gonna ask all of you to help yourselves

856
00:48:10.100 --> 00:48:11.260
as you come back.

857
00:48:11.260 --> 00:48:12.760
I'll try to do it and help you as well,

858
00:48:12.760 --> 00:48:14.740
but if I can't catch you quick,

859
00:48:14.740 --> 00:48:16.780
go ahead and plan to do that.

860
00:48:16.780 --> 00:48:19.100
I'm so glad that y'all are here again.

861
00:48:19.100 --> 00:48:21.540
I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to share.

862
00:48:21.580 --> 00:48:24.980
So I'm gonna open up this time for our group coaching time

863
00:48:24.980 --> 00:48:28.000
and for anyone that is willing to share with the whole group

864
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:30.920
what you shared in your private breakout session.

865
00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:33.320
Is there anyone that's willing to share tonight?

866
00:48:35.240 --> 00:48:37.320
Yeah, and I should say, if you raise your digital hand,

867
00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:38.500
it does make it a little easier

868
00:48:38.500 --> 00:48:40.880
in these kind of coaching, group coaching sessions.

869
00:48:40.880 --> 00:48:42.040
If you don't know how to do that,

870
00:48:42.040 --> 00:48:43.620
if you hover over the bottom of your screen,

871
00:48:43.620 --> 00:48:46.800
there's a raise hand there, or it might say more,

872
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:48.180
or it might say reactions,

873
00:48:48.180 --> 00:48:50.020
and that, yeah, that'll be a little helpful.

874
00:48:50.020 --> 00:48:51.100
All right, Ruth.

875
00:48:51.100 --> 00:48:53.260
Ruth A., go ahead.

876
00:48:53.260 --> 00:48:54.740
Hi.

877
00:48:54.740 --> 00:48:56.460
Hi, everyone.

878
00:48:56.460 --> 00:48:58.740
See, I shared in my group

879
00:48:58.740 --> 00:49:02.020
that the person that I needed to forgive,

880
00:49:02.020 --> 00:49:03.340
at first, I thought it was myself,

881
00:49:03.340 --> 00:49:05.540
and I think that's definitely a part of it,

882
00:49:05.540 --> 00:49:07.380
especially when you share that

883
00:49:07.380 --> 00:49:11.860
if you're ever having unresolved feelings,

884
00:49:11.860 --> 00:49:14.020
that a lot of times it's because there's some,

885
00:49:14.020 --> 00:49:17.500
like whether it's hatred or things towards yourself,

886
00:49:17.500 --> 00:49:19.260
maybe you're just not aware of it.

887
00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:23.220
But mine is a friend I've known since 2006,

888
00:49:23.220 --> 00:49:24.900
so since we were in college,

889
00:49:24.900 --> 00:49:29.900
and I was in Austin for a conference about three weeks ago,

890
00:49:30.500 --> 00:49:33.100
and yeah, two, three weeks ago,

891
00:49:33.100 --> 00:49:34.660
and she lives in Austin, Texas,

892
00:49:34.660 --> 00:49:36.900
and I was in Idaho,

893
00:49:36.900 --> 00:49:38.700
and I thought that I would get a chance to see her

894
00:49:38.700 --> 00:49:39.820
just because our relationship

895
00:49:39.820 --> 00:49:42.340
had gone through a period of some downturn.

896
00:49:42.340 --> 00:49:43.700
She had messaged me,

897
00:49:43.700 --> 00:49:46.340
or tried to message me a couple of months ago

898
00:49:47.300 --> 00:49:50.060
wanting to kind of talk about the state of our friendship

899
00:49:50.060 --> 00:49:51.380
and just kind of what the,

900
00:49:53.060 --> 00:49:54.580
I guess what the future was,

901
00:49:54.580 --> 00:49:57.660
or what our goals were from it,

902
00:49:57.660 --> 00:50:00.140
and that kind of started this.

903
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.640
process of, um, we both have quirky personalities, I guess, you know, and, um, like she would only

904
00:50:06.640 --> 00:50:11.200
communicate by text and, you know, when you call her, she doesn't answer the phone. I have my own

905
00:50:11.200 --> 00:50:17.600
quirks as well, but basically we just, you know, we were supposed to kind of explain things to each

906
00:50:17.600 --> 00:50:22.560
other and just didn't work out well and I called, you know, hoping I would get to see her in person

907
00:50:22.560 --> 00:50:27.360
and we could address issues three weeks ago and, you know, called her and she didn't call me back

908
00:50:27.360 --> 00:50:33.040
and I kind of got upset and, and just, you know, just stomped off since then and I've had in the

909
00:50:33.040 --> 00:50:38.160
past couple of weeks or past week my mom and then my sister who are both like, you know, you've had,

910
00:50:38.160 --> 00:50:42.400
this is probably the longest friendship that you have, um, that, you know, someone you've

911
00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:47.760
known for a while that it's not something just because of a misunderstanding or, um, you know,

912
00:50:47.760 --> 00:50:52.160
that you just allow it to just go away, that you don't try to reach out again and so, but I just

913
00:50:52.160 --> 00:50:57.680
felt like I didn't know what to say or how to go about it and so just didn't really, one, try not

914
00:50:57.680 --> 00:51:02.000
to beat myself up and forgive myself because I had a couple of instances in the past week or so

915
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:06.560
where I could have at least called, left a message or something and I chose not to and so I was trying

916
00:51:06.560 --> 00:51:10.640
to, you know, peel back the layers of, okay, well, what's really behind? Is it really that I don't

917
00:51:10.640 --> 00:51:17.280
know what to say? Is it that I'm afraid of owning up to my own faults? Is it that I, um, because

918
00:51:18.240 --> 00:51:22.720
I, in my, my, in my personality and relationships, but I tend to be the subservient one, so whatever

919
00:51:22.720 --> 00:51:28.800
people say, I would just eventually bow to the general consensus of someone and so I, she has a

920
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:34.880
more, so my personality is more phlegmatic and hers is more like choleric, like very forceful

921
00:51:34.880 --> 00:51:39.440
and so I, sometimes I end up, sometimes apologizing for things that are not my fault just to keep the

922
00:51:39.440 --> 00:51:44.160
peace, which is also not healthy and so I just didn't know, I guess I just wasn't really sure

923
00:51:44.240 --> 00:51:49.840
about what to say or how to go about it, but really wanted to forgive her for what I misunderstood

924
00:51:49.840 --> 00:51:54.320
about what she said, but also forgive myself for not making an effort, more of an effort,

925
00:51:54.320 --> 00:52:00.400
if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, it does make sense. I think my question for you is this,

926
00:52:02.240 --> 00:52:04.560
is God asking you to keep this friendship?

927
00:52:07.840 --> 00:52:11.360
That's a big one because that's what I've been, I've been asking myself

928
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:16.720
and I don't know that either way. Yeah, and that's okay and you may not for a little while,

929
00:52:16.720 --> 00:52:23.040
you might have to keep walking this out. When you say that this is the longest friendship you've

930
00:52:23.040 --> 00:52:30.640
ever had, have you struggled to make friends over the years? Yes. Okay, so when did the,

931
00:52:30.640 --> 00:52:33.520
the struggle with making friends and connections start for you?

932
00:52:33.920 --> 00:52:38.960
Since it's childhood. Okay, yeah, is there a certain thing that you can remember? Like,

933
00:52:40.320 --> 00:52:45.200
did you try to go to kids and ask them to play and they didn't want to play or did you just,

934
00:52:45.200 --> 00:52:49.600
did you struggle to go over to the other kids to play with them? Like,

935
00:52:49.600 --> 00:52:58.880
did you tend to sit by yourself often? Well, so I'm, I'm an American, but my dad's

936
00:52:59.200 --> 00:53:04.160
from Ghana, which is a country in West Africa. My mom's from Nigeria and I've lived in both

937
00:53:04.160 --> 00:53:09.280
countries. I grew up in both countries. And so before I turned 12, like a couple of months before

938
00:53:09.280 --> 00:53:16.000
I turned 12, we moved from Nigeria to Ghana. And, and when I, we made that move, there's a lot of,

939
00:53:16.000 --> 00:53:20.240
even though they're both English speaking countries, there was a lot of cultural differences

940
00:53:20.240 --> 00:53:26.400
and I got bullied. I was really bullied a lot. And so I really struggled with, because, you know,

941
00:53:26.560 --> 00:53:32.160
yeah, it's a whole love story, but I really struggled with that in junior high and in high

942
00:53:32.160 --> 00:53:36.960
school. And so, and even before that, I mean, I kind of was a bit quirky, I guess,

943
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:45.920
neurodivergent kids growing up, but that really made it hard with that move and trying to, you

944
00:53:45.920 --> 00:53:50.160
know, learn like the local dialect, like the tribal local languages that were different from

945
00:53:51.120 --> 00:53:53.680
languages that were different from English and struggling.

946
00:53:55.120 --> 00:53:59.200
Did you happen to be on last night when we were doing the prophetic ministry night? It's okay.

947
00:53:59.200 --> 00:54:04.400
If not, I'm just curious. Okay. I definitely, I'm saying this for everybody. If y'all get a chance

948
00:54:04.400 --> 00:54:09.920
to listen to it, please, even when you're driving, well, I don't know. Y'all might cry. There might

949
00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:13.200
be things that get stirred up. You might not want to drive with that one. We did a whole healing

950
00:54:13.200 --> 00:54:18.000
session last night, but in particular, I feel led to just mention it to you, Ruth, because we did

951
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:23.360
this part where God gave me this song and y'all it's funny. Like, I don't even listen to a lot of

952
00:54:23.360 --> 00:54:28.560
pop music, but I've heard it somewhere clearly. Cause I knew the song and it came up and the

953
00:54:28.560 --> 00:54:36.480
song is, it's not my name by Ting Tings. It's, you know, so anyways, you'll hear what I talk

954
00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:42.800
about in there. What God, like what God said to me about that, like through that song and the

955
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:46.640
journey that he took me on to release that word last night. And we spoke healing over people

956
00:54:47.440 --> 00:54:53.760
that things were said to them or spoken over them, phrases, names that God never intended

957
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:59.760
to be spoken over them, but they live under those things. And so I'm saying all this to you to, to

958
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.320
this, with that struggle and the bullying and the things that were taking place, I know

959
00:55:07.320 --> 00:55:13.320
that you're talking about forgiving your friend, but I feel like first, what needs to happen

960
00:55:13.320 --> 00:55:20.400
is we need to uncover the root connection, like the root starting point of why you initially

961
00:55:20.400 --> 00:55:26.320
struggled to connect and make friends, you know, and what the enemy was trying to bring

962
00:55:26.320 --> 00:55:31.800
break down because you were saying, okay, I felt like this about this friendship. It

963
00:55:31.800 --> 00:55:35.960
was really hard to connect with her. And every time I try to, she's only wanting to text,

964
00:55:35.960 --> 00:55:40.800
she's not picking up the phone. Like I hear you trying a lot. Okay. And then, you know,

965
00:55:40.800 --> 00:55:45.080
you're kind of settled with where this ended. And then your mom and your sister said, well,

966
00:55:45.080 --> 00:55:48.280
you know, she's been your friend, which I'm not saying that's, that's not good advice,

967
00:55:48.280 --> 00:55:55.160
but I just want you to make sure you're not shifting into people pleasing.

968
00:55:55.160 --> 00:56:00.920
I've always struggled with that. And I would imagine. So if you were bullied a lot, people

969
00:56:00.920 --> 00:56:04.920
that are bullied a lot, or they feel like unsure of themselves, like you move from one

970
00:56:04.920 --> 00:56:09.660
place to another, there was a lot happening there. You know, if you feel like you struggle

971
00:56:09.660 --> 00:56:14.080
to connect and make friends, one of the things you said right in the beginning is you said,

972
00:56:14.080 --> 00:56:19.920
we're both, I think if I heard you, right, we're both very quirky people. Okay. I want

973
00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:24.720
to encourage you now. I'm not saying like, I have quirky mannerisms too. Y'all. I think

974
00:56:24.720 --> 00:56:29.800
things are really funny and silly that other people may never think is funny. Okay. So

975
00:56:29.800 --> 00:56:35.400
I could say I'm a quirky person. And I'm not saying that's bad, but I feel like the enemy

976
00:56:35.400 --> 00:56:41.400
is trying to get you to speak that over yourself, which I actually think you are a really amazing

977
00:56:41.400 --> 00:56:47.360
person Ruth. Every time I've ever heard you share on here, like you just really are self-aware

978
00:56:47.360 --> 00:56:53.680
and very willing to look at yourself and reflect on where do I need to change? Where do I need

979
00:56:53.680 --> 00:57:00.320
to heal? Where do I need to grow? But I think it's also okay for you to give yourself permission

980
00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:09.440
to be loved by people. Yeah. And not, not always get into, well, what did I, and I'm

981
00:57:09.440 --> 00:57:14.520
not saying y'all, if we did something wrong, absolutely. We should own it. But there are

982
00:57:14.520 --> 00:57:18.760
times where people are in these kinds of dynamics. And again, I would have to know more and more

983
00:57:18.760 --> 00:57:23.960
about your story to really know for sure. But one of the first things when you first

984
00:57:23.960 --> 00:57:28.880
started talking, I heard the Holy spirit say, ask her if she actually likes herself. And

985
00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:31.800
as you started talking, I was like, well, how does that going to fit into here? But

986
00:57:31.800 --> 00:57:38.640
right now it's coming up in my spirit again. So maybe way back when you started learning

987
00:57:38.640 --> 00:57:44.680
how to put yourself into a certain mold, I'm quirky. I'm, you know, I have a friend of

988
00:57:44.680 --> 00:57:49.480
mine. I've done a lot of heartwork with, she used to say over herself, I'm weird. I know

989
00:57:49.480 --> 00:57:57.240
I'm weird. And I'm like, why are you saying that? Well, we uncovered that she got bullied

990
00:57:57.240 --> 00:58:03.460
when she was younger. She got bullied because she liked to read totally different reason,

991
00:58:03.460 --> 00:58:07.320
but there were other things going on where she was hurt and wounded before the bullying

992
00:58:07.320 --> 00:58:12.960
ever began. And so then when the bullying happened, it fractured that other stuff even

993
00:58:12.960 --> 00:58:19.000
more, y'all see how this happens. And so then she, they called her weird. And so then

994
00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:25.720
she agreed, not knowing, not knowing any better little kids, we don't know. And so we agree

995
00:58:25.720 --> 00:58:31.120
with this stuff and then we partner with it. And then we partner with that into adulthood

996
00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:35.760
and it's impacting our relationships in the ways we're showing up. I actually have a feeling

997
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:40.160
that you're probably a pretty amazing friend, Ruth, but you've been believing the lie that

998
00:58:40.160 --> 00:58:42.400
you're a quirky person and you struggle to make friends.

999
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:47.920
Yeah. But what you just said about your friends, like loving to read, being bullied because of

1000
00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:53.280
loving to read. That was me. Yeah. It probably didn't help too that I attended six or seven

1001
00:58:53.280 --> 00:58:59.120
schools between K through 12 because my dad was in the military. So yeah, so that's, that probably

1002
00:58:59.120 --> 00:59:03.760
didn't help, but I was bullied a lot for that sort of wanting to read or being smart in school.

1003
00:59:04.320 --> 00:59:08.480
And yeah, cause I was a person I could tell that the other students didn't understand what was

1004
00:59:08.480 --> 00:59:12.160
going on. And I understood the material and I would raise my hand and ask the questions. So

1005
00:59:12.160 --> 00:59:15.440
I'm like, I could just see that they did not understand. So that was trying to help them

1006
00:59:15.440 --> 00:59:19.680
because I was like, somebody else eventually would ask, let's just save the time. Now we just

1007
00:59:19.680 --> 00:59:24.160
ask, and then I don't be bullied for that. And for asking those questions.

1008
00:59:24.160 --> 00:59:28.160
Something I want to draw out here too, and I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I want to make sure

1009
00:59:28.160 --> 00:59:34.080
y'all hear something that's unfolding here. I want everyone to hear this. She was in how many

1010
00:59:34.160 --> 00:59:40.320
schools from K through 12? Six or seven schools. The longest I was ever at the same school was

1011
00:59:40.320 --> 00:59:45.680
from first grade through fifth grade. But I went to, I was, I, I went from fifth grade. I skipped

1012
00:59:45.680 --> 00:59:49.680
sixth grade, went to seventh grade, went to a different seventh grade, a different eighth grade,

1013
00:59:49.680 --> 00:59:54.240
a different ninth grade. And then I went to the same school for 10th through 12th grade,

1014
00:59:54.240 --> 00:59:58.480
which was a boarding school. Do y'all want to know why I'm having her talk about this?

1015
00:59:58.480 --> 01:00:00.000
This is really, really important.

1016
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.200
y'all. I hope you get this. She's been believing the lie that she struggles to make friends.

1017
01:00:08.400 --> 01:00:15.280
Here's what I hear. She moved around so much that she didn't feel safe to be able to really connect

1018
01:00:15.280 --> 01:00:22.480
and then when she tried to connect people bullied her. That's what I'm hearing. Do y'all see the

1019
01:00:22.480 --> 01:00:31.600
difference here? Ruth, this might set you free, girl. If you grab onto this, you tried. I really

1020
01:00:31.600 --> 01:00:36.720
believe that you are probably trying to make friends but because you had to keep moving.

1021
01:00:36.720 --> 01:00:42.800
I mean, y'all, I'm an adult and I had to move four times in the last... well, I didn't have to. I

1022
01:00:42.800 --> 01:00:47.200
chose to because I was getting married and all the things and then we did move to pursue the pastoral

1023
01:00:47.200 --> 01:00:52.000
role down here, my husband, but here's the reality. Even as an adult, do y'all know how hard it's been

1024
01:00:52.080 --> 01:00:57.360
for me to move multiple times and leave people behind? It's heartbreaking.

1025
01:00:59.680 --> 01:01:07.280
So, I want to encourage you to pray and ask the Lord where you... He wants to help you converge,

1026
01:01:07.280 --> 01:01:14.320
okay? The adult Ruth with little girl Ruth and really ask the Lord to show you

1027
01:01:14.320 --> 01:01:21.040
and help you remember what it felt like when you had to move. Are there any feelings that you

1028
01:01:21.040 --> 01:01:27.040
even subconsciously turned off to protect yourself where you became quirky? You know

1029
01:01:27.040 --> 01:01:33.440
what I'm saying? Like where that version of you started to emerge or whatever out of what people

1030
01:01:33.440 --> 01:01:38.640
said or what you believed or whatever that looks like and let's just see what else God wants to do

1031
01:01:38.640 --> 01:01:45.120
here because I think He really wants to help you understand that you were never intended

1032
01:01:45.680 --> 01:01:49.040
to be a person that would struggle to make friends. I think you're friendly.

1033
01:01:51.200 --> 01:01:57.120
And I speak that over you. That Ruth A., I don't know what your full last name is, but you are a

1034
01:01:57.120 --> 01:02:01.600
friendly person and I want you to partner with that in the next several weeks to months ahead.

1035
01:02:01.600 --> 01:02:11.040
That you are a friendly person who makes friends easily. Okay? Okay. Thank you. You're so welcome.

1036
01:02:11.920 --> 01:02:17.760
Y'all, this is powerful stuff. Yes. Sweet and likable. I agree. Someone just said that about

1037
01:02:17.760 --> 01:02:22.800
you. Sweet and likable. And y'all, we don't have to be in person to know that about someone. Like

1038
01:02:22.800 --> 01:02:30.240
you can just pick up on vibes with people, right? Yeah. Thank you. You're so welcome. Yeah. God is

1039
01:02:30.240 --> 01:02:35.840
so good. I'm so, I just like, man, this kind of stuff, I just like linger for a minute to not

1040
01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:40.400
pass this by. If there's other people here, you don't have to necessarily go and unmute yourself,

1041
01:02:40.400 --> 01:02:45.440
but I want you to put it in the chat. Maybe you have struggled making friends and there's things

1042
01:02:45.440 --> 01:02:51.120
you've gone through. And this, this just right now is helping you see areas. Maybe you need to

1043
01:02:51.120 --> 01:02:56.720
lean into some healing for yourself. If you have felt like there was this label on you that you

1044
01:02:56.720 --> 01:03:01.680
couldn't make friends or that people didn't like you or whatever, just as you feel led, put that

1045
01:03:01.680 --> 01:03:10.720
stuff in the chat. Okay. Helen G would love to hear from you. Yeah. This is powerful. Everything

1046
01:03:10.800 --> 01:03:17.200
we just shared as a fellow immigrant, I completely resonate with everything that was shared. The

1047
01:03:17.200 --> 01:03:24.560
person that I, earlier you talked about layers of forgiveness. So I think that's where I am. I

1048
01:03:24.560 --> 01:03:29.920
think I've forgiven this person, but I, maybe there's another layer of it is a ministry leader

1049
01:03:29.920 --> 01:03:37.040
at my church, former church that I used to go to that was cruel to me, harsh to me in how he

1050
01:03:37.040 --> 01:03:41.920
treated me multiple times. And I even went to him one time, like the Bible says, go to the person,

1051
01:03:42.640 --> 01:03:51.360
tell them your, you know, beef, whatever. And so I did that. And I went to him and he was very

1052
01:03:51.360 --> 01:03:56.320
dismissive, like very, like talking to other people, walking by just completely didn't

1053
01:03:56.320 --> 01:04:01.040
acknowledge what I said, like, Hey, it hurt when you said this and did that. And that wasn't the

1054
01:04:01.040 --> 01:04:06.560
first time that he had done those things. And it happened multiple times and it happened,

1055
01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:14.640
even in front of people and those people never stood up for me. So I think that probably affects,

1056
01:04:14.640 --> 01:04:20.640
I'm in a new city now. I moved last year from, from San Diego to Temecula and still struggling

1057
01:04:20.640 --> 01:04:28.240
to, I'm making friends. I am. I am, but I think trusting church authority is still a little tough

1058
01:04:28.240 --> 01:04:36.560
for me. That's just one part of my experiences with the church authority. But yeah, so I don't

1059
01:04:36.560 --> 01:04:41.680
know. I feel like, okay, I forgave because you're supposed to, but like, there's memories that'll

1060
01:04:41.680 --> 01:04:50.160
come of how he was. And I'm like, gosh, I, that was just so cruel treatment towards me. I bumped

1061
01:04:50.160 --> 01:04:58.640
into him last year, right before I moved to St. High, gave a kind of a half hug. That was hard,

1062
01:04:59.280 --> 01:04:59.760
but yeah.

1063
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.880
Yeah. So, yeah.

1064
01:05:01.880 --> 01:05:04.520
Okay. My question for you is this,

1065
01:05:04.520 --> 01:05:06.720
have other men in your life before him

1066
01:05:06.720 --> 01:05:08.760
been dismissive towards you?

1067
01:05:08.760 --> 01:05:09.600
Yeah.

1068
01:05:10.440 --> 01:05:11.400
Okay.

1069
01:05:11.400 --> 01:05:16.320
So I believe that is why the enemy led this to happen.

1070
01:05:16.320 --> 01:05:18.480
You know, it's kind of like I was saying,

1071
01:05:19.880 --> 01:05:21.800
even to Ruth or when I was talking earlier,

1072
01:05:21.800 --> 01:05:25.520
what can happen is when we have these younger situations

1073
01:05:25.520 --> 01:05:28.160
where we were dismissed by someone at some point

1074
01:05:28.160 --> 01:05:29.880
or whatever the dynamic is,

1075
01:05:29.880 --> 01:05:31.720
and those wounds occur,

1076
01:05:31.720 --> 01:05:34.600
when another situation happens that's similar,

1077
01:05:34.600 --> 01:05:36.560
then the enemy's kind of trying to just reinforce

1078
01:05:36.560 --> 01:05:37.800
those lies we're believing,

1079
01:05:37.800 --> 01:05:41.080
and that's how strongholds begin to form, right?

1080
01:05:41.080 --> 01:05:43.960
Those strongholds and the brokenness in us

1081
01:05:43.960 --> 01:05:47.120
causes when we get around other people

1082
01:05:47.120 --> 01:05:49.960
that carry the same kind of things,

1083
01:05:49.960 --> 01:05:52.520
it causes those same types of spirits

1084
01:05:52.520 --> 01:05:54.920
to flare up around us.

1085
01:05:54.920 --> 01:05:56.040
Okay, it's not our fault,

1086
01:05:56.040 --> 01:05:58.560
but I'm just saying spiritually, dynamically,

1087
01:05:58.560 --> 01:06:01.000
that is what is happening, okay?

1088
01:06:01.000 --> 01:06:03.200
And so for me, I struggle,

1089
01:06:03.200 --> 01:06:05.120
like women that are older

1090
01:06:05.120 --> 01:06:08.080
and wanna just be an authority over me,

1091
01:06:08.080 --> 01:06:09.840
I also men, same thing,

1092
01:06:09.840 --> 01:06:14.160
old men that are really just power hungry,

1093
01:06:14.160 --> 01:06:16.600
those are people that when I've gone into churches,

1094
01:06:16.600 --> 01:06:19.400
even with Brian as the pastor

1095
01:06:19.400 --> 01:06:20.840
where that has been something

1096
01:06:20.840 --> 01:06:22.680
I've been up against quite a bit.

1097
01:06:22.680 --> 01:06:26.360
And what I've learned is that the more I heal,

1098
01:06:26.360 --> 01:06:28.800
the more those things lose power, okay?

1099
01:06:28.800 --> 01:06:31.120
Because it is the enemy working through those people.

1100
01:06:31.120 --> 01:06:32.440
The other thing is this,

1101
01:06:34.880 --> 01:06:36.400
it sounds like you're pretty,

1102
01:06:36.400 --> 01:06:37.240
not in a bad way,

1103
01:06:37.240 --> 01:06:38.880
but you're a strong woman.

1104
01:06:38.880 --> 01:06:41.560
And sometimes men, not all men,

1105
01:06:41.560 --> 01:06:43.560
make sure y'all hear this, not all men,

1106
01:06:43.560 --> 01:06:46.000
but some men struggle with that, okay?

1107
01:06:46.000 --> 01:06:49.920
And so wanna encourage you in all of this

1108
01:06:51.200 --> 01:06:54.040
that you would pray and forgive any of the men

1109
01:06:54.040 --> 01:06:56.320
who have dismissed you.

1110
01:06:57.280 --> 01:07:01.000
And do a separate forgiveness prayer sheet for each one.

1111
01:07:01.000 --> 01:07:03.000
That is gonna be your all's activation this week,

1112
01:07:03.000 --> 01:07:04.320
just so I don't forget to say that.

1113
01:07:04.320 --> 01:07:06.960
The forgiveness prayer sheets,

1114
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:09.440
you can find those in your worksheets in the welcome area.

1115
01:07:09.440 --> 01:07:11.280
You can also find it in the week

1116
01:07:11.280 --> 01:07:13.680
that it correlates with in the course.

1117
01:07:13.680 --> 01:07:17.160
But y'all wanna do this and be specific, okay?

1118
01:07:17.160 --> 01:07:19.280
So don't do a general, I forgive,

1119
01:07:19.280 --> 01:07:20.160
I'm just gonna make up the name.

1120
01:07:20.160 --> 01:07:22.160
I forgive Mike for dismissing me.

1121
01:07:22.160 --> 01:07:23.560
You wanna be specific.

1122
01:07:23.600 --> 01:07:28.200
I forgive Mike for the pain that I felt

1123
01:07:28.200 --> 01:07:29.880
when he said this to me,

1124
01:07:30.800 --> 01:07:33.520
where you're being specific and you're forgiving them

1125
01:07:33.520 --> 01:07:35.840
for those things that they did and said,

1126
01:07:35.840 --> 01:07:37.600
or whatnot that harmed you.

1127
01:07:37.600 --> 01:07:39.320
But I would encourage you to also do it

1128
01:07:39.320 --> 01:07:41.680
for the other people that were also dismissive.

1129
01:07:41.680 --> 01:07:43.440
Because I think in the spirit,

1130
01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:45.640
those things are still linking together.

1131
01:07:46.560 --> 01:07:48.680
Yeah, I mean, it happened on,

1132
01:07:48.680 --> 01:07:51.000
it was a mission, not this particular person,

1133
01:07:51.000 --> 01:07:52.480
but I went on a mission trip.

1134
01:07:52.520 --> 01:07:53.880
This guy seemed interested.

1135
01:07:53.880 --> 01:07:55.240
We talked and talked.

1136
01:07:55.240 --> 01:07:57.720
Ever asked me about my life.

1137
01:07:57.720 --> 01:08:00.640
Asked me, it was like he was interested.

1138
01:08:00.640 --> 01:08:02.880
I thought he was based on all the questions

1139
01:08:02.880 --> 01:08:05.720
he was asking me about my family, myself, what I do.

1140
01:08:07.880 --> 01:08:11.920
And then when I got back and I got in touch with him

1141
01:08:11.920 --> 01:08:13.320
and we were on a group text,

1142
01:08:13.320 --> 01:08:15.400
the people on the mission trip were on this group text.

1143
01:08:15.400 --> 01:08:17.240
I texted him and the first thing he said was,

1144
01:08:17.240 --> 01:08:18.399
where'd you get my number?

1145
01:08:18.399 --> 01:08:19.680
How'd you get this number?

1146
01:08:20.680 --> 01:08:22.600
We were on a trip in a group text.

1147
01:08:22.600 --> 01:08:23.760
Everybody had a number.

1148
01:08:23.760 --> 01:08:25.720
You actually called me when we were in Thailand

1149
01:08:25.720 --> 01:08:28.359
on a mission related thing.

1150
01:08:28.359 --> 01:08:29.680
Yeah, and so again,

1151
01:08:29.680 --> 01:08:32.560
that is just something I would forgive that man.

1152
01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:34.680
People that are deceived do things

1153
01:08:34.680 --> 01:08:37.680
because they're deceived and they hurt people hurt people.

1154
01:08:37.680 --> 01:08:39.520
And so for whatever reason,

1155
01:08:40.920 --> 01:08:43.960
maybe it was when he's there, walls are down,

1156
01:08:43.960 --> 01:08:45.479
y'all are serving together.

1157
01:08:45.479 --> 01:08:48.479
Maybe he's following his feelings and emotions, who knows?

1158
01:08:48.800 --> 01:08:50.080
We could sit and try to figure it out,

1159
01:08:50.080 --> 01:08:51.960
but you know what's best is just to forgive him,

1160
01:08:51.960 --> 01:08:53.319
bless him in the Lord.

1161
01:08:53.319 --> 01:08:56.120
And now you're moving forward, but yeah, definitely.

1162
01:08:56.120 --> 01:08:57.439
And even I would encourage you

1163
01:08:57.439 --> 01:08:59.479
if there's anything even younger,

1164
01:08:59.479 --> 01:09:01.200
like anything when you're younger,

1165
01:09:01.200 --> 01:09:02.800
where there might've been,

1166
01:09:02.800 --> 01:09:05.520
even if the person didn't intend to dismiss you,

1167
01:09:05.520 --> 01:09:07.279
but you felt dismissed,

1168
01:09:07.279 --> 01:09:09.680
that's kind of what I'm talking about there as well.

1169
01:09:09.680 --> 01:09:12.160
But yeah, lean into that and feel free.

1170
01:09:12.160 --> 01:09:14.160
Ladies, I wanna always remind you,

1171
01:09:14.160 --> 01:09:17.479
as I give you all these things in coaching like this,

1172
01:09:17.479 --> 01:09:19.880
as you're processing, feel free to come into the group

1173
01:09:19.880 --> 01:09:21.520
and say, okay, as I'm processing this,

1174
01:09:21.520 --> 01:09:23.120
this is some other stuff that's coming up,

1175
01:09:23.120 --> 01:09:24.720
I'm not sure where to go with this,

1176
01:09:24.720 --> 01:09:28.880
or you can just share and I'll respond to you there, okay?

1177
01:09:28.880 --> 01:09:30.920
So good, Karen, Roa, go ahead.

1178
01:09:32.880 --> 01:09:36.880
Hey, so the question was, who do we need to forgive?

1179
01:09:36.880 --> 01:09:41.720
And Bethany, you were so great to respond to one of my posts

1180
01:09:41.720 --> 01:09:44.880
to point out and suggest going back to forgive my parents

1181
01:09:44.880 --> 01:09:46.479
for not allowing me to forgive them.

1182
01:09:46.520 --> 01:09:49.560
And I hadn't pulled that thread before.

1183
01:09:49.560 --> 01:09:51.080
And so I just wanna say thank you

1184
01:09:51.080 --> 01:09:54.040
for pointing that out as a possibility.

1185
01:09:54.040 --> 01:09:59.040
And it really has helped me pull the thread.

1186
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.000
thread on the high school, not also.

1187
01:10:05.720 --> 01:10:07.760
And tonight when you described victim,

1188
01:10:07.760 --> 01:10:12.040
I realized that part of me has allowed,

1189
01:10:12.040 --> 01:10:13.640
oh, I wasn't taught to date,

1190
01:10:13.640 --> 01:10:15.960
I wasn't allowed to date to hold me back

1191
01:10:15.960 --> 01:10:20.480
from feeling that I could be successful at it now.

1192
01:10:20.480 --> 01:10:23.580
So like that little part is still a bit of a victim.

1193
01:10:24.760 --> 01:10:27.000
That's really powerful connection, Karen.

1194
01:10:27.280 --> 01:10:32.280
I wanna just help you just shift tonight as well.

1195
01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:36.720
God can redeem any time you feel was lost

1196
01:10:36.720 --> 01:10:38.420
because of those things.

1197
01:10:39.640 --> 01:10:40.960
Thank you.

1198
01:10:40.960 --> 01:10:43.080
And I know ladies, it can be really tough

1199
01:10:43.080 --> 01:10:44.880
when we feel like we've lost time,

1200
01:10:44.880 --> 01:10:46.200
whether it's because of someone else

1201
01:10:46.200 --> 01:10:47.560
or something that we didn't understand

1202
01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:49.360
because of dynamics that we were taught

1203
01:10:49.360 --> 01:10:50.420
and things that were said,

1204
01:10:50.420 --> 01:10:54.680
but literally I believe that God can help you

1205
01:10:54.680 --> 01:10:56.120
not only find your spirit mate

1206
01:10:56.120 --> 01:10:57.640
and accelerate the process for you,

1207
01:10:57.640 --> 01:11:00.280
but that he can help you step into something

1208
01:11:00.280 --> 01:11:02.920
that it feels like you never lost time.

1209
01:11:02.920 --> 01:11:05.640
You're just gonna feel like the blessing

1210
01:11:05.640 --> 01:11:06.980
of that coming together.

1211
01:11:06.980 --> 01:11:08.800
I really believe that for you.

1212
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:11.440
And the time that you've been spending here in heart work,

1213
01:11:11.440 --> 01:11:13.600
like you've really been leaning into this process

1214
01:11:13.600 --> 01:11:16.120
and God is gonna honor that for you.

1215
01:11:16.120 --> 01:11:19.160
And I just want you to hear that.

1216
01:11:19.160 --> 01:11:22.040
Mark this night, I think just come back

1217
01:11:22.040 --> 01:11:24.080
and remember this night when you meet your spirit mate,

1218
01:11:24.080 --> 01:11:27.600
because I think it's gonna be a really incredible adventure.

1219
01:11:27.600 --> 01:11:29.520
Am I saying you're not gonna have to learn along the way?

1220
01:11:29.520 --> 01:11:30.720
No, I'm not saying that.

1221
01:11:31.840 --> 01:11:34.720
But we have some people,

1222
01:11:34.720 --> 01:11:38.480
y'all some people meet their spirit mate right away.

1223
01:11:38.480 --> 01:11:41.920
Other people need like have practice.

1224
01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:44.080
I don't wanna say need practice, but they have practice.

1225
01:11:44.080 --> 01:11:46.720
Some of us need to grow in certain areas

1226
01:11:46.720 --> 01:11:48.320
and learn how to set boundaries

1227
01:11:48.320 --> 01:11:50.140
and learn how to value ourselves

1228
01:11:50.140 --> 01:11:51.820
and all these different dynamics.

1229
01:11:51.820 --> 01:11:54.700
So remember, we don't get into comparison.

1230
01:11:54.700 --> 01:11:57.500
She's about to before long step into the next phase.

1231
01:11:57.500 --> 01:11:59.100
So I wanna make sure she hears this.

1232
01:11:59.100 --> 01:12:01.140
But yeah, so just keep leaning into that.

1233
01:12:01.140 --> 01:12:02.740
Let's see where else God wants to heal

1234
01:12:02.740 --> 01:12:05.060
regarding the school and the parents

1235
01:12:05.060 --> 01:12:08.820
and that feeling of, I even wanna dare I say,

1236
01:12:08.820 --> 01:12:10.340
the lack of freedom.

1237
01:12:13.220 --> 01:12:15.860
And let's see how God wants to come in

1238
01:12:15.860 --> 01:12:18.900
and redeem your timeline through these situations

1239
01:12:18.900 --> 01:12:19.740
in the days ahead.

1240
01:12:19.860 --> 01:12:22.780
And forgiving those people is gonna be key.

1241
01:12:22.780 --> 01:12:23.620
It is.

1242
01:12:23.620 --> 01:12:25.820
Yeah, I just never thought about forgiving my parents

1243
01:12:25.820 --> 01:12:27.980
because I have a really great relationship with my parents

1244
01:12:27.980 --> 01:12:29.660
and they're wonderful.

1245
01:12:29.660 --> 01:12:32.140
And that is something that they have expressed regretting

1246
01:12:32.140 --> 01:12:35.020
that they didn't allow us to date all of my siblings.

1247
01:12:36.420 --> 01:12:37.780
But I just never thought about like,

1248
01:12:37.780 --> 01:12:41.420
even though they regret it, I still need to release it.

1249
01:12:41.420 --> 01:12:44.480
Yeah, and here's a really, I love that you point that out.

1250
01:12:44.480 --> 01:12:46.060
Ladies, I want you to understand

1251
01:12:46.060 --> 01:12:47.860
you don't have to have bad parents

1252
01:12:48.860 --> 01:12:52.300
to have situations that cause you to struggle

1253
01:12:52.300 --> 01:12:54.500
where you need to forgive them, okay?

1254
01:12:54.500 --> 01:12:57.180
So, even myself as a parent,

1255
01:12:57.180 --> 01:13:00.460
like there's things regarding my spiritual daughters

1256
01:13:00.460 --> 01:13:03.540
that I just like was trying to protect them from.

1257
01:13:03.540 --> 01:13:05.780
We didn't want them on social media

1258
01:13:05.780 --> 01:13:08.140
and it actually like, it hurt them.

1259
01:13:08.140 --> 01:13:11.140
And we were trying to protect them, okay?

1260
01:13:11.140 --> 01:13:13.180
And so sometimes in this day and world,

1261
01:13:13.180 --> 01:13:14.620
like people are making decisions

1262
01:13:14.620 --> 01:13:17.060
and doing their best as parents.

1263
01:13:17.140 --> 01:13:20.100
That doesn't mean that we won't experience

1264
01:13:20.100 --> 01:13:22.500
something negative because of it.

1265
01:13:22.500 --> 01:13:24.980
Now, my girls are fine, but here's the reality.

1266
01:13:24.980 --> 01:13:27.740
They never learned to have healthy boundaries.

1267
01:13:27.740 --> 01:13:29.160
Their friends all had it.

1268
01:13:29.160 --> 01:13:32.260
There was a lot of rejection they felt and stuff.

1269
01:13:32.260 --> 01:13:33.780
Now they can work through that.

1270
01:13:33.780 --> 01:13:36.580
They know somebody who does healing work,

1271
01:13:36.580 --> 01:13:38.560
who helps, it's the Lord doing the healing,

1272
01:13:38.560 --> 01:13:40.020
but you know what I'm saying.

1273
01:13:40.020 --> 01:13:41.740
But we all can work through those things.

1274
01:13:41.740 --> 01:13:43.900
So I wanna encourage you, keep doing that.

1275
01:13:43.900 --> 01:13:45.380
I'm excited to see where you're gonna go

1276
01:13:45.380 --> 01:13:47.020
from here with this.

1277
01:13:47.860 --> 01:13:49.180
Thank you so much for sharing with us.

1278
01:13:49.180 --> 01:13:50.060
Thanks, Bethany.

1279
01:13:50.060 --> 01:13:51.060
You're welcome.

1280
01:13:51.060 --> 01:13:54.140
All right, our other Karen, hi.

1281
01:13:55.380 --> 01:13:56.740
Hi, how are you?

1282
01:13:56.740 --> 01:13:58.220
Good, how are you?

1283
01:13:58.220 --> 01:13:59.500
I'm doing well.

1284
01:13:59.500 --> 01:14:01.020
We were in a wonderful group.

1285
01:14:01.940 --> 01:14:05.020
I did, and this is my week of forgiveness.

1286
01:14:05.020 --> 01:14:08.460
So I actually got to really dig down deeply

1287
01:14:08.460 --> 01:14:10.180
and get entrenched in this this week.

1288
01:14:10.180 --> 01:14:15.180
But it seems like the one person that came up

1289
01:14:15.380 --> 01:14:19.020
was the person who sexually abused me

1290
01:14:19.020 --> 01:14:20.420
when I was four years old.

1291
01:14:21.500 --> 01:14:25.740
And he is no longer on this earth.

1292
01:14:25.740 --> 01:14:30.740
And so, you know, there were points throughout my life

1293
01:14:31.300 --> 01:14:33.700
where I might have to see him.

1294
01:14:33.700 --> 01:14:36.500
He was actually a coworker of my dad's.

1295
01:14:37.700 --> 01:14:42.700
And so there would be points where I'd have to see him

1296
01:14:42.700 --> 01:14:44.620
and there would always be little trigger points.

1297
01:14:45.060 --> 01:14:48.180
But, you know, that was a forgiveness.

1298
01:14:48.180 --> 01:14:52.140
But I really feel like the Holy Spirit showed me

1299
01:14:52.140 --> 01:14:54.380
that that was actually the beginning

1300
01:14:54.380 --> 01:14:58.140
of some of the different variations of who I became.

1301
01:14:58.980 --> 01:15:00.380
So when I started struggling.

1302
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.640
dealing with eating disorders later on as a dancer

1303
01:15:03.640 --> 01:15:08.640
and just very, very a perfectionist,

1304
01:15:09.080 --> 01:15:10.880
you know, a desire to be perfect

1305
01:15:10.880 --> 01:15:14.880
and everything that all I think stemmed from that

1306
01:15:16.580 --> 01:15:20.240
as well as perhaps not seeing my own value

1307
01:15:20.240 --> 01:15:22.960
in relationships, you know,

1308
01:15:22.960 --> 01:15:25.440
where that has been really a big thing.

1309
01:15:26.880 --> 01:15:29.760
What's really kind of weird is I was actually talking

1310
01:15:29.760 --> 01:15:32.640
to somebody today and I got a really weird breakthrough.

1311
01:15:32.640 --> 01:15:35.560
My mom put me in ballet when I was three years old

1312
01:15:35.560 --> 01:15:39.520
and she put me in ballet because I'm like 5'9", I'm 5'10",

1313
01:15:39.520 --> 01:15:43.160
and she wanted me to have excellent posture.

1314
01:15:43.160 --> 01:15:45.520
And, but when I was talking, I said, you know,

1315
01:15:45.520 --> 01:15:50.520
my mom saw value and worth in me and wanting me to do that.

1316
01:15:51.800 --> 01:15:55.360
That was not a, it was something that was that way.

1317
01:15:55.360 --> 01:15:59.080
And somehow then this thing happened maybe a year later

1318
01:15:59.120 --> 01:16:01.960
and just totally crushed all of that.

1319
01:16:01.960 --> 01:16:05.080
And so anyway, that was the big thing.

1320
01:16:05.080 --> 01:16:07.800
And then, you know, obviously forgiving myself

1321
01:16:07.800 --> 01:16:11.120
for, you know, certain things as well.

1322
01:16:11.120 --> 01:16:12.800
Yeah, thank you for your courage.

1323
01:16:12.800 --> 01:16:14.560
Ladies, thank you all of you for your courage

1324
01:16:14.560 --> 01:16:16.200
and sharing and your vulnerability.

1325
01:16:16.200 --> 01:16:19.720
Karen, I wanna encourage you, you know,

1326
01:16:19.720 --> 01:16:21.840
sometimes people struggle because that person

1327
01:16:21.840 --> 01:16:26.080
is no longer alive in the forgiveness aspect

1328
01:16:26.080 --> 01:16:29.040
because it's like, well, they can never say they're sorry.

1329
01:16:29.040 --> 01:16:31.680
You know, and people really, even myself,

1330
01:16:31.680 --> 01:16:35.160
I, you know, that's something I still to this day,

1331
01:16:35.160 --> 01:16:38.280
my brothers have never officially said,

1332
01:16:38.280 --> 01:16:41.000
I'm so sorry for what we did.

1333
01:16:41.000 --> 01:16:42.240
That's tough.

1334
01:16:42.240 --> 01:16:45.040
But the reality is, is true forgiveness

1335
01:16:45.040 --> 01:16:48.560
isn't looking for something in return, okay?

1336
01:16:48.560 --> 01:16:51.720
So we can forgive without expecting

1337
01:16:51.720 --> 01:16:53.680
that I'm sorry in return.

1338
01:16:54.680 --> 01:16:57.240
I'm doing it because God asked me to do it

1339
01:16:57.240 --> 01:16:59.200
and because he gave it to me.

1340
01:16:59.200 --> 01:17:02.080
Jesus died and forgave me

1341
01:17:02.080 --> 01:17:04.080
and didn't expect anything in return.

1342
01:17:05.560 --> 01:17:07.040
So I can do the same.

1343
01:17:07.040 --> 01:17:08.760
And so we partner with him in that.

1344
01:17:08.760 --> 01:17:12.040
But as this has come up for you,

1345
01:17:12.040 --> 01:17:13.840
just wanna encourage you,

1346
01:17:13.840 --> 01:17:15.640
when you were talking about the, you know,

1347
01:17:15.640 --> 01:17:18.400
struggling with eating disorders and perfectionist,

1348
01:17:18.400 --> 01:17:20.640
I just wrote the word control.

1349
01:17:20.640 --> 01:17:22.000
And the reason I wrote that

1350
01:17:22.080 --> 01:17:25.120
is because people tend to do that kind of stuff

1351
01:17:25.120 --> 01:17:28.000
and resort to, you know, eating disorders

1352
01:17:28.000 --> 01:17:30.920
or that perfectionism, OCD stuff

1353
01:17:30.920 --> 01:17:34.280
when their life feels out of control.

1354
01:17:35.400 --> 01:17:39.360
And so they, that is kind of a form of them having control.

1355
01:17:39.360 --> 01:17:41.560
Even my oldest spiritual daughter,

1356
01:17:41.560 --> 01:17:44.280
she actually is thankfully getting a little better,

1357
01:17:44.280 --> 01:17:46.400
but we'll go through seasons

1358
01:17:46.400 --> 01:17:48.880
where she will just literally not eat

1359
01:17:48.880 --> 01:17:50.200
and struggles to eat.

1360
01:17:50.200 --> 01:17:52.720
And that was formed at a very,

1361
01:17:53.600 --> 01:17:56.520
probably one of the hardest moments of fragmentation

1362
01:17:56.520 --> 01:17:57.880
because of her parents.

1363
01:17:58.760 --> 01:18:02.320
And we saw this beginning to kind of morph and grow.

1364
01:18:03.240 --> 01:18:06.480
And so I know how real it is, you know,

1365
01:18:06.480 --> 01:18:09.560
from watching her firsthand really struggle

1366
01:18:09.560 --> 01:18:12.080
with even just putting the food to her mouth

1367
01:18:12.080 --> 01:18:12.960
and how hard that is.

1368
01:18:12.960 --> 01:18:15.160
I don't know what your struggle was like exactly,

1369
01:18:15.160 --> 01:18:20.160
but that inner like need for safety and control

1370
01:18:20.680 --> 01:18:23.960
to be in charge, you know, of your body, of yourself,

1371
01:18:23.960 --> 01:18:26.960
you know, when someone else has taken control

1372
01:18:26.960 --> 01:18:28.560
over your body in some form.

1373
01:18:28.560 --> 01:18:31.400
And so I just believe there might be additional healing

1374
01:18:31.400 --> 01:18:33.200
for you there regarding,

1375
01:18:35.280 --> 01:18:38.640
just what's coming up in my spirit is surrendering control

1376
01:18:38.640 --> 01:18:42.000
that you, you know, really that God wants to come in

1377
01:18:42.000 --> 01:18:46.840
and continue to show you how he wants to protect you.

1378
01:18:46.880 --> 01:18:49.000
And that even then,

1379
01:18:49.000 --> 01:18:50.640
and I know this can be a hard thing

1380
01:18:50.640 --> 01:18:52.960
for people to kind of absorb,

1381
01:18:52.960 --> 01:18:56.680
but like even then asking Jesus to show you

1382
01:18:56.680 --> 01:19:00.280
how he was protecting you, okay?

1383
01:19:00.280 --> 01:19:01.520
And that can be really hard

1384
01:19:01.520 --> 01:19:05.520
because we know those acts still happened to us.

1385
01:19:05.520 --> 01:19:08.080
But from my own experience, y'all, I did that.

1386
01:19:08.080 --> 01:19:10.960
I prayed and I asked Jesus to show me where he was

1387
01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:14.360
and what he wanted me to know while I was getting abused.

1388
01:19:14.360 --> 01:19:16.680
And it was a powerful, it was hard,

1389
01:19:17.520 --> 01:19:19.160
but it was powerful what I heard him say

1390
01:19:19.160 --> 01:19:23.120
and what I experienced and the freedom it brought to me.

1391
01:19:23.120 --> 01:19:24.480
And so I wanna encourage you,

1392
01:19:24.480 --> 01:19:27.120
if you feel willing to do that this week

1393
01:19:27.120 --> 01:19:29.240
and really just see what the Lord wants to show you

1394
01:19:29.240 --> 01:19:31.280
about that time and that season

1395
01:19:31.280 --> 01:19:33.800
and the healing that, and the comfort.

1396
01:19:33.800 --> 01:19:36.200
I heard him say comfort earlier too, I almost forgot.

1397
01:19:36.200 --> 01:19:40.600
The comfort that he wants to bring to four-year-old Karen.

1398
01:19:42.920 --> 01:19:43.760
Okay?

1399
01:19:44.880 --> 01:19:46.200
Thank you again for sharing.

1400
01:19:46.720 --> 01:19:48.760
So grateful to be here with all of you tonight.

1401
01:19:48.760 --> 01:19:51.680
It feels like a divine moment for all of you,

1402
01:19:51.680 --> 01:19:53.040
but for myself as well.

1403
01:19:53.040 --> 01:19:53.920
I appreciate you.

1404
01:19:54.800 --> 01:19:56.160
Erin, you're welcome.

1405
01:19:56.160 --> 01:19:57.080
Erin, go ahead.

1406
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:16.080
Okay, hi. So I feel like I need to forgive my ex-fiance as well as myself and also I liked how

1407
01:20:16.080 --> 01:20:23.200
you said forgive all the characters in the story because it included, there was a lot of layers to

1408
01:20:23.200 --> 01:20:31.120
that situation and that's kind of what led me to do the heart work. So just touching on like when

1409
01:20:31.120 --> 01:20:39.280
we had to do our permission worksheet, like giving God permission, the response I got was

1410
01:20:40.880 --> 01:20:47.760
I've like never really like, I truly felt like God's presence and we had just talked about like

1411
01:20:47.760 --> 01:20:54.480
the gardens and everything and God, like I was looking at my garden and it was just like a bunch

1412
01:20:54.480 --> 01:20:59.760
of like burrows, essentially, like all these little mole hills and everything and it just

1413
01:20:59.760 --> 01:21:05.760
looked chaotic and then I literally felt God put his hand on my shoulder and be like, I see you've

1414
01:21:05.760 --> 01:21:11.520
had a lot of practice, like you know, like are you ready, like I think you're ready for the real

1415
01:21:11.520 --> 01:21:19.040
thing and like we just start walking and I feel like I have been in hiding for so, so, so long

1416
01:21:19.040 --> 01:21:25.040
and I'm realizing now that I was even in hiding in that relationship, it was just so painful.

1417
01:21:25.600 --> 01:21:33.280
I like attributed so many things to that relationship that when it fell apart, it just

1418
01:21:33.280 --> 01:21:40.560
felt like I, like I fell apart truly, but that is actually what brought me to God as well. So I

1419
01:21:41.200 --> 01:21:48.560
didn't actually start following Jesus till 2021 and so like everything came unraveled and

1420
01:21:48.560 --> 01:21:54.160
so many things changed, but I kind of had that like imposter syndrome too, where I'm like struggling

1421
01:21:54.160 --> 01:21:58.480
with all these new things, I'm struggling with new faith, I'm struggling with this new identity

1422
01:21:58.480 --> 01:22:05.520
and so yeah, it's just a lot, but I think that I really do need to forgive that person because

1423
01:22:06.480 --> 01:22:17.120
that was really messy and he moved on so quickly, like within a couple weeks he was already dating

1424
01:22:17.120 --> 01:22:22.000
and then within a couple months they were like moved in together, they got married, they've had

1425
01:22:22.000 --> 01:22:28.800
a baby and I'm like still just picking up the pieces and I feel a little bit like I had the

1426
01:22:28.800 --> 01:22:36.320
courage to call it off and I feel like I'm kind of broken. Yeah, I'm so sorry that that happened

1427
01:22:37.280 --> 01:22:43.360
and you know, I think it's important to point out while he moved on quickly and he may have all

1428
01:22:43.360 --> 01:22:49.840
those things, we really have no idea the condition of his soul and his heart, okay? And people,

1429
01:22:49.840 --> 01:22:56.080
remember people show their highlight reels on social media, okay? Most of the time, okay? And

1430
01:22:56.080 --> 01:23:01.680
not that that makes it any easier in the moment and as you're processing, but I do believe it

1431
01:23:01.680 --> 01:23:07.920
sounds like God was defending you and protecting you and preserving you for something greater and

1432
01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:11.760
again, I don't know all the ins and outs of that relationship, but something I did feel led to ask

1433
01:23:11.760 --> 01:23:17.840
you as you were sharing, you said that you actually have been in hiding a long time and you believe

1434
01:23:17.840 --> 01:23:22.240
that you were in hiding even when you went into that relationship and so this is my question,

1435
01:23:22.240 --> 01:23:29.280
when is the first time you felt like you went into hiding? Do you anything come to mind for you

1436
01:23:30.080 --> 01:23:45.760
about that? Probably, so probably like at a very young age, like five or six. My brother

1437
01:23:46.640 --> 01:23:53.760
took his life and I feel like that kind of just like changed our family dynamic a little bit and

1438
01:23:56.480 --> 01:24:03.200
yeah, I'm really sorry. Man, Erin, I'm so glad that you shared tonight. I think this is the

1439
01:24:03.200 --> 01:24:10.960
part of like, okay, so Lord help Erin know how to come out of hiding and so the tough thing is

1440
01:24:11.040 --> 01:24:15.920
the tough thing is and something else too and when I say this, I don't want you to feel funny

1441
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:20.480
or weird, but I want you to understand even what your body's experiencing as you're sharing.

1442
01:24:21.120 --> 01:24:25.760
Can you tell that, you know, when that starts to well up in you when you started talking about

1443
01:24:25.760 --> 01:24:31.440
the hiding and even just now with your brother, how they're like almost sounded like it felt like

1444
01:24:31.440 --> 01:24:36.240
stopped up in your throat a little bit. Do you know what I'm talking about? I want you to know

1445
01:24:36.240 --> 01:24:42.160
that's really normal. Okay, so I don't know if you've ever had anybody ever tell you that

1446
01:24:42.160 --> 01:24:48.880
it's normal for your body to feel things when you're talking about deep trauma that you experienced

1447
01:24:48.880 --> 01:24:54.560
and everybody's body is different. So one of the things that used to happen to me is I used to

1448
01:24:54.560 --> 01:24:59.840
shake a lot when I would talk about really hard things until I healed.

1449
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.240
more and more and more. And sometimes I can still feel it a

1450
01:25:03.240 --> 01:25:07.720
little bit on occasion depends on what I'm talking about. But

1451
01:25:07.760 --> 01:25:13.520
it does get better. But in like healing and talking about it is

1452
01:25:13.520 --> 01:25:17.000
probably going to be a key part for you because you have to

1453
01:25:17.000 --> 01:25:21.480
allow that stuff that's been stored up down in there out. You

1454
01:25:21.480 --> 01:25:24.280
have to let it out. And this is a safe place to let it out. And

1455
01:25:24.280 --> 01:25:26.800
even in phase two, y'all healing continues all throughout our

1456
01:25:26.800 --> 01:25:30.280
community and our program, but making sure you're in a safe

1457
01:25:30.280 --> 01:25:34.920
place to share at any time. And I do think there's probably some

1458
01:25:34.920 --> 01:25:38.080
more healing regarding your brother taking his life or that

1459
01:25:38.080 --> 01:25:40.840
whatever happened there. And those dynamics because you're

1460
01:25:40.840 --> 01:25:44.800
saying that's the first time you can recall kind of going into

1461
01:25:44.800 --> 01:25:50.120
hiding in different ways. And so in order for little Aaron to

1462
01:25:50.120 --> 01:25:53.320
come out of hiding, well, in order for adult Aaron to come

1463
01:25:53.320 --> 01:25:56.400
out of hiding, we have to help little Aaron come out of

1464
01:25:56.400 --> 01:25:59.440
hiding. And that comes through healing as well. Does that make

1465
01:25:59.440 --> 01:26:00.080
sense?

1466
01:26:00.520 --> 01:26:04.480
Yeah. And I guess like, I mean, that's when I think it started.

1467
01:26:04.480 --> 01:26:08.680
But I truly feel like I lost my brother twice, because when I

1468
01:26:08.680 --> 01:26:12.680
was young, I didn't understand the finality of it. And I

1469
01:26:12.680 --> 01:26:16.160
didn't really hit me until high school because I had some really

1470
01:26:16.160 --> 01:26:22.000
hard times in high school. And I trusted the wrong people. I and

1471
01:26:22.000 --> 01:26:25.560
so I just really wish I have like a sibling that I was

1472
01:26:25.560 --> 01:26:28.200
having a hard time with my parents, I just felt really

1473
01:26:28.200 --> 01:26:34.760
alone. And I wish I had like a sibling that I could have

1474
01:26:35.120 --> 01:26:38.200
confided in. So I felt like I lost him again.

1475
01:26:39.160 --> 01:26:45.800
So with that this week, I really want to encourage you to and I

1476
01:26:45.800 --> 01:26:47.920
know, I've just kind of said something similar, but I really

1477
01:26:47.920 --> 01:26:51.640
feel like it's important for you to, to ask, you know, Jesus,

1478
01:26:51.640 --> 01:26:54.720
even in the high school moments, like when you felt really alone,

1479
01:26:54.720 --> 01:26:58.280
like you had no one, I want you to ask Jesus where he was at,

1480
01:26:58.360 --> 01:27:01.240
like, I want you to ask him, like, help me to know where you

1481
01:27:01.240 --> 01:27:05.040
were at when I felt this way. And what do you want to tell me

1482
01:27:05.040 --> 01:27:08.480
about it? Ladies, get really comfortable with having

1483
01:27:08.480 --> 01:27:11.240
conversations with Jesus like this. I'm serious, it'll change

1484
01:27:11.240 --> 01:27:15.600
your life. It takes courage to ask it because sometimes we're

1485
01:27:15.600 --> 01:27:18.160
like, Oh, what's he gonna say? What's he gonna show me? But

1486
01:27:18.160 --> 01:27:22.600
y'all, it's, it's typically very good. Jesus says good things to

1487
01:27:22.600 --> 01:27:27.400
us, and he wants to help you heal. And so the layers of

1488
01:27:27.400 --> 01:27:30.200
healing that are needed, you're on a good path. And this is

1489
01:27:30.200 --> 01:27:33.680
moving you forward. And the things that are happening in the

1490
01:27:33.680 --> 01:27:36.000
revealings for healing that are coming up, these are all going

1491
01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:40.920
to kind of culminate and come together. And it's going to help

1492
01:27:40.920 --> 01:27:44.280
you step into the fullness of everything God has for you,

1493
01:27:44.480 --> 01:27:49.000
including the truth that God is going to place you in family.

1494
01:27:49.400 --> 01:27:51.960
Now you already have a family. But what I want you to understand

1495
01:27:51.960 --> 01:27:56.200
is the times where you felt really alone. Psalm 68, six says

1496
01:27:56.200 --> 01:28:02.680
this, God places the solitary and family. He promises to do

1497
01:28:02.680 --> 01:28:07.080
it. And you know that he also he like sticks up for the orphans

1498
01:28:07.080 --> 01:28:10.080
and the widows. And not that you were an orphan, but I want y'all

1499
01:28:10.080 --> 01:28:14.640
to grab on to this a little bit. I was adopted. Actually, what's

1500
01:28:14.640 --> 01:28:21.200
that I was adopted. I was in the foster system for a while. Okay,

1501
01:28:21.200 --> 01:28:23.760
so maybe there's a reason I just said all that to you, then

1502
01:28:23.800 --> 01:28:28.160
I had no clue about that aspect of your story, Aaron. And so in

1503
01:28:28.160 --> 01:28:35.000
that, I'm going to imagine that losing him also probably went

1504
01:28:35.000 --> 01:28:41.920
into other losses in your life. Y'all see again, how this links

1505
01:28:41.920 --> 01:28:46.160
together these things, the more we start to hear stories and

1506
01:28:46.160 --> 01:28:49.600
things people have been through. This is why it's so important

1507
01:28:49.600 --> 01:28:52.520
y'all are here. Everyone breathe, okay, because this

1508
01:28:52.520 --> 01:28:56.480
stuff can can be a lot, but I want you to feel the freedom in

1509
01:28:56.480 --> 01:29:00.440
what's happening here. Aaron, thank you for sharing and coming

1510
01:29:00.440 --> 01:29:04.680
out of hiding. You did an amazing job doing that tonight. I want

1511
01:29:04.680 --> 01:29:07.600
you to recognize that that's what you're doing right now.

1512
01:29:08.040 --> 01:29:10.920
You're coming out of hiding. You're allowing yourself to be

1513
01:29:10.920 --> 01:29:15.160
heard and seen and known. Even the hard things that you've been

1514
01:29:15.160 --> 01:29:17.680
through. It's not too much. I want you to hear that from me.

1515
01:29:18.200 --> 01:29:23.120
You're not too much. It's not too much. And we love you. And

1516
01:29:23.120 --> 01:29:27.600
we're really glad that you're here. Okay, you're welcome.

1517
01:29:29.160 --> 01:29:32.120
Y'all we're family here. If you didn't even know you wanted

1518
01:29:32.120 --> 01:29:35.240
family or needed family, guess what? We're choosing you anyway,

1519
01:29:35.360 --> 01:29:38.840
your family as soon as you come in the door. And it's just an

1520
01:29:38.840 --> 01:29:41.680
awesome opportunity to be here with all of you. I just keep

1521
01:29:41.680 --> 01:29:45.760
saying that tonight because I really mean it. Thank you, Aaron.

1522
01:29:45.800 --> 01:29:47.000
Michelle, go ahead.

1523
01:29:52.200 --> 01:29:53.720
Oh, you're muted if you're talking.

1524
01:29:54.680 --> 01:29:58.640
Sorry, I couldn't find the button. That's all right. Oh, my

1525
01:29:58.640 --> 01:29:59.840
goodness. Okay.

1526
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.280
Wow. Okay, so the person, who do you need to forgive? One of my sisters. I want to say

1527
01:30:07.280 --> 01:30:15.000
back in the summer, I guess August, September-ish, we had a family meeting, there were three

1528
01:30:15.000 --> 01:30:22.840
of us, and the conversation was called RAW, R-A-W, and Uncut. And we had an opportunity

1529
01:30:22.840 --> 01:30:30.400
to share some things that were bothering us with one another. Not a bad thing, however,

1530
01:30:30.400 --> 01:30:34.160
was a good thing, was the first time I think we ever did that, and it was one of my younger

1531
01:30:34.160 --> 01:30:43.480
sisters. With that being said, when it got to be my turn, I heard things from my family

1532
01:30:43.480 --> 01:30:48.100
members, there were four of us all together, but I heard things from them that I had never

1533
01:30:48.100 --> 01:30:56.620
heard before, and it cut, it cut to the very core, to my core. And I do believe I took

1534
01:30:56.620 --> 01:31:07.320
offense after all of it was done and said. However, the conversation went, it was true,

1535
01:31:07.320 --> 01:31:12.000
there was a lot of truth about it, and I think it was the first time I ever saw myself the

1536
01:31:12.000 --> 01:31:20.320
way others see me. Some things were a little blurry, but for the most part, it was really

1537
01:31:20.320 --> 01:31:26.960
what has caused me to really begin to heal and come out of hiding. It took a while, it

1538
01:31:26.960 --> 01:31:35.960
took a while, but I could see the blind spot in that. I could see how I was able to see,

1539
01:31:35.960 --> 01:31:41.360
not then, but now, what they said about me, because at the moment that they said it, I

1540
01:31:41.360 --> 01:31:50.320
was so broken. I was broke. I was worse than broken, but I was really broke, because the

1541
01:31:50.320 --> 01:31:56.680
image, the way that I saw myself, was not the way they saw me as they spoke about me.

1542
01:31:56.680 --> 01:32:05.120
And so it was very hurtful. I still find myself a little, almost offended, or angry, I'm not

1543
01:32:05.120 --> 01:32:11.320
sure which word to use, when I have a conversation with my sister now, because of what was said

1544
01:32:11.320 --> 01:32:18.720
then. I'm in a different place, but there's still a little something, I don't know what

1545
01:32:18.720 --> 01:32:24.400
you call it. I think it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, because it

1546
01:32:24.400 --> 01:32:31.680
led me, as I said, to come out of hiding, and the process of being healed. And so I'm

1547
01:32:31.680 --> 01:32:38.960
thankful for the raw Nankata, and as raw as it was, I'm growing, and I'm being set free

1548
01:32:38.960 --> 01:32:43.240
in a lot of other areas. I really am. So I praise God for that.

1549
01:32:43.240 --> 01:32:47.840
This is awesome. And so, y'all, I was very touched by that, but I want you all to know

1550
01:32:47.840 --> 01:32:53.280
I'm okay. I'm having this stuff still happening with my eyes. So if I have any tears that

1551
01:32:53.280 --> 01:32:57.920
come to my eyes, they do not stay in there remotely at all. So I want y'all to know I'm

1552
01:32:57.920 --> 01:33:01.720
okay. I don't want you to worry, because when I'm coaching, that's really important to me,

1553
01:33:01.720 --> 01:33:07.680
that y'all know I'm really good. And so, as you were talking, Michelle, one of the things

1554
01:33:07.680 --> 01:33:13.080
you said is, I think I took offense to that. And so if you're feeling some kind of emotion

1555
01:33:13.080 --> 01:33:18.480
when you're still thinking about that day where you feel pain, and or anger or any kind

1556
01:33:18.480 --> 01:33:25.000
of emotion that would be connected with offense, that's definitely a signal that there needs

1557
01:33:25.000 --> 01:33:32.280
to be forgiveness, and that really, that you need healing, like you need comfort. And I

1558
01:33:32.280 --> 01:33:37.480
appreciate what you're saying that that raw and uncut led you to healing and really seeing

1559
01:33:37.480 --> 01:33:44.360
yourself. But y'all that those kind of things can be very, very damaging if someone wasn't

1560
01:33:44.360 --> 01:33:53.600
willing to then go into healing and things like that. Right. And so in that, and you

1561
01:33:53.600 --> 01:33:56.640
might have already worked through this already, because of where you're at in the heart work,

1562
01:33:56.640 --> 01:34:02.400
but I just want to make sure if you haven't, that you do acknowledge the feelings that

1563
01:34:02.400 --> 01:34:10.720
you felt. And I did. Okay. Okay. I want to make sure because that's really, really important

1564
01:34:10.720 --> 01:34:15.080
in this process. And so praise God, you're going to forgive your sister, you're going

1565
01:34:15.080 --> 01:34:21.560
to release the offense. I've been reading the bait of Satan. And it's been really good.

1566
01:34:21.560 --> 01:34:25.040
It helps you let go of offense. If you're in the heart work, I'm not necessarily saying

1567
01:34:25.040 --> 01:34:28.960
read another book right now. But if y'all want to make a note, when you're done with

1568
01:34:28.960 --> 01:34:33.560
the heart work, that would be a great book to check out if you struggle with offense,

1569
01:34:33.560 --> 01:34:41.080
and unforgiveness and bitterness and all that kind of stuff. All right. And even when Helen

1570
01:34:41.080 --> 01:34:46.840
was sharing, it deals a lot with even people in leadership over us that have heard us okay.

1571
01:34:46.840 --> 01:34:50.600
And so it deals with all kinds of stuff. But that might be something for you to look into

1572
01:34:50.600 --> 01:34:55.040
again, after the heart work. Why? Because we need you to focus on the heart work right

1573
01:34:55.040 --> 01:34:59.120
now. Okay? The only book we want you to read during heart work is heart work. We want you

1574
01:34:59.120 --> 01:35:00.000
to do the videos.

1575
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.480
in your Bible. Okay. That really is. We don't, and again, some of y'all do devotions and

1576
01:35:04.480 --> 01:35:09.000
that's awesome, but we just don't want you to overextend yourself. Okay. Because we want

1577
01:35:09.000 --> 01:35:14.880
you to be able to hear and focus on the, on the curriculum. Um, man, tonight has been

1578
01:35:14.880 --> 01:35:25.000
so good. Yes, Michelle. Thank you. It's been so, so good. I hope that y'all hear and see

1579
01:35:25.000 --> 01:35:28.400
the beauty of what God is doing. One of the things that's really important that I'm going

1580
01:35:28.400 --> 01:35:33.600
to pray and close this out, but this is, this is, uh, important, especially for the

1581
01:35:33.600 --> 01:35:39.400
level of vulnerability. Several of you have had tonight. Um, if after you share things

1582
01:35:39.400 --> 01:35:44.160
like that, if you struggle with shame, like, Oh my God, I should have never said that.

1583
01:35:44.160 --> 01:35:48.840
Okay. I want you to know that that is a normal thing that the enemy will try to bring to

1584
01:35:48.840 --> 01:35:53.680
your door, but you don't need to feel any shame or any condemnation or any guilt. After

1585
01:35:53.680 --> 01:35:57.960
I shared my testimony years ago, this used to happen a lot. I would have a really hard

1586
01:35:57.960 --> 01:36:04.360
time looking people in the eye. I'd feel really timid and whatnot. And I never understood

1587
01:36:04.360 --> 01:36:10.480
why that was happening until a certain minister, um, actually helped me to recognize that that

1588
01:36:10.480 --> 01:36:16.560
was shame showing up. I was feeling shame for what I had been through and embarrassment.

1589
01:36:16.560 --> 01:36:23.000
Um, and even when I knew like I was healed, sharing my testimony, especially the first

1590
01:36:23.000 --> 01:36:28.480
time I shared my testimony with men in the room about the sexual abuse, like literally

1591
01:36:28.480 --> 01:36:32.680
I like the rest of the night. I didn't like look at anybody. So again, I hope this is

1592
01:36:32.680 --> 01:36:37.080
helpful for y'all understand that you don't have to be ashamed about anything that you

1593
01:36:37.080 --> 01:36:40.880
share in here. It's a really brave and courageous, and I hope that you'll celebrate yourselves

1594
01:36:40.880 --> 01:36:45.040
tonight. And for those of you that are really still feeling this, I know I can tell Aaron,

1595
01:36:45.040 --> 01:36:50.320
you're still feeling this quite a bit. Anyone else? I encourage you just to maybe put on

1596
01:36:50.320 --> 01:36:54.720
some good soaking worship music tonight. If you don't know what that is, if you go

1597
01:36:54.720 --> 01:37:00.080
on YouTube and you type in, um, soaking worship music or something, it'll, it'll just bring

1598
01:37:00.080 --> 01:37:08.880
all kinds of stuff up. But Laura, Laura Woodley Osmond is like one of my favorites. And, uh,

1599
01:37:08.880 --> 01:37:18.160
she has this song, comfort song that I have listened to so many times. Um, and it's really,

1600
01:37:18.160 --> 01:37:22.480
really beautiful, but I think that will really minister to a lot of you and I hope that you

1601
01:37:22.480 --> 01:37:31.640
all have an amazing rest of your night. Um, let me pray for us and, um, Carolyn, I'm just

1602
01:37:31.640 --> 01:37:42.480
now seeing your message. I'm sorry. Okay. Let me make sure I read this. Okay. I'm really

1603
01:37:42.480 --> 01:37:48.440
sorry that you went through that. And definitely, definitely in that situation that you messaged

1604
01:37:48.440 --> 01:37:53.960
me about, you want to forgive your grandma, your ex, and anyone else that's connected

1605
01:37:53.960 --> 01:38:00.200
to those situations that you described to me. Okay. Uh, comfort song, Alina comfort

1606
01:38:00.200 --> 01:38:08.880
song by Laura Woodley Osmond, O S M A M. Father, thank you so much for your goodness, for your

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grace. God, thank you for the revealings for healing that have happened. God, thank

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you for the supernatural breakthroughs for discovery for, um, enlightenment. God, I thank

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you that yes, Lord chains are breaking off of minds, off of hearts, off of spirits. God,

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we thank you for helping the ladies, all of them to feel a little bit lighter tonight

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in the days ahead. God, we ask you to come in and comfort. Your word says that you comfort

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the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit. We thank you that you would help

1613
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them to step into forgiveness, to step into, um, the grace and the healing virtue that

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you're releasing from heaven over them, um, and working through them in the days ahead.

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And we just thank you God for continued acceleration and healing and their process in their heart

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healing journeys and Jesus name. Amen. God bless you. I'll be seeing you all in the group.

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Have a great night, everyone. Love y'all.