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Hello. Welcome everyone. Bethany Cooper and Brian Cooper here.

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Hello.

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We're excited to do Love Stories again. This is becoming like one of my favorite things.

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I hope those in the community are being blessed through the stories of those that have been a part of our community

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and hearing how their love stories came together, unfolded, the obstacles some of them faced

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or we're going to call them challenges because praise the Lord, God helps us overcome all of those things

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if we continue to be faithful to each other and with the Lord.

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And we're going to talk about some fun experiences and things that have happened in their lives as well.

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And so I'm very excited to announce our three couples this evening.

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I put them in the post today, but just so that y'all can meet them now tonight.

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So our, let's see, our couple that's been married the longest is Bobby and Jeannie Goss.

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Am I saying your last name right or is it Gaze?

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Goss.

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Oh, we can't hear you.

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I can only breathe. They said Goss.

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Goss, yeah. G-A-S-S.

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Try again so we know if we can hear you.

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Goss.

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Okay, while they're working on that, we're going to keep going.

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Let's see, so they have been married.

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I was going to say this, they just celebrated their third wedding anniversary on April 22nd.

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So happy third anniversary, but they've been together for four years.

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And then Gwen and Alex, is it Rutov?

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Did I get it? Awesome.

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They just celebrated their first anniversary on February 10th.

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Brian and I, well, we're about three and a half.

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September 4th will be how many years?

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We'll see, three years.

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Three years.

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Y'all, it's so funny.

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I can't remember.

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And then Anna and Ryan, I know it was a test.

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Our newlyweds tonight.

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So excited.

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They just got married December 21st, 2024.

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And so it's just going to be a lot of fun to hear the different stories.

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And then Jeannie and Bobby, if you have trouble, sometimes if you go out and come back in.

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So if you need to do that, it's totally fine.

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But we are going to go ahead and get started.

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And if you've never been on a love story before, the way we do this is I kind of, we call it round robin a little bit.

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Or at least that's what I've called it.

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Where I'm going to have each couple share.

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And in the couple, each individual will share from their perspective, like what did God do in your lives to prepare you to receive the person that you are now married to in this community?

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We call them spirit mates.

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And in that, you know, if you are a part of the program, share that.

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If you were not, you can share whatever God led you to do to prepare your heart and heal.

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If you were a part of the community at any time, even including Simbas, like how did not only Jackie's personal coaching help you, but the coaching within the community and all of those things as a part of your story as you're sharing tonight.

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And so Jeannie and Bobby, it looks like they did have to sign off and they'll come back.

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So I'm going to actually start with Anna and Ryan.

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And if you all can share a little bit of your story, how God brought the two of you together and whoever out of the two of you wants to go first is totally fine.

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He's deferring to you, Anna.

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Hey guys, and I first just want to apologize.

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Warfare has been crazy leading up to tonight.

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So we know that God has something special going on for us and for you.

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I'm losing my voice, so please bear with me.

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Those of you that know me know I don't sound like I smoke a pack a day.

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But yeah, so I was part of the ministry or the business tree as Jackie likes to call it since February of 2022.

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And this program was instrumental for me to heal from past traumas.

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I had gone through some significant traumas.

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I shared very openly on many prayer calls.

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And a lot of you know that I was married to a career con artist for four years.

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And that was absolutely traumatizing for me.

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So I spent seven years completely single, meaning not even go on a single date.

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I mean, I was just terrified to trust.

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And coming to this program was a huge step for me.

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But I worked it.

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I worked it like nobody's business.

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I'm hoping that those of you that know me or remember me know that I was on every call, every prayer thing, every activation.

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And it really helped me to heal.

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But it also helped me to confront my fears.

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me to confront, um, lies, so many lies that were born out of the trauma that I

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had no idea I internalized and, um, and I just step by step started to grow

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through the process and all of that ultimately led me to when I was able to

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finally meet Ryan and to be able to recognize him as a healthy person who I

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guarantee you as amazing as my husband is before I healed, I wouldn't have been

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attracted to him, not just meaning, I mean, like as a whole, because I wasn't

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healthy to want healthy. I was always attracting unhealthy and attracted to

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that. So I had to work this program, the heart work and every aspect of

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community in order to get ready. So I don't know if you want to see, he was

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not part of 1822, but he did his own things with Jesus. And I don't know if

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you want to share a little,

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um, yeah, um, bear with me. I'm not as well of a communicator is Anna even

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with her voice. Um, but yeah, I was married for, um, almost 20 years. Um,

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went through a long drawn out divorce. Um, after that, I went on a series of

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what I consider train wrecks. Um, and so I to kind of had to go through a

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therapeutic session where I swore off dating. Um, it was kind of in the midst

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of that where I just kind of relinquished everything to God and, and,

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uh, said that, um, I had to give up my control of, um, who I, who I thought my

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criteria was, what my characteristics, I mean, I still have taste and things like

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that, but, um, but basically it was, uh, God, you have a future for me. You have

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a plan and I'm no longer going to be in the driver's seat that I wanted you to

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take over. And I heard, um, I woke up one night and in the middle of the night

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and just kept hearing the phrase for his namesake. Um, and that led me to Psalms

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23. Um, and that was immediately after I'd surrendered that to him. And that

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just kind of, um, led to, um, meeting Anna in a roundabout way, but, um, but

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yeah, that's, that's kind of, I was not part of the heart work or Jackie's

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program, but we did, um, after we were serious about dating, we went through

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Simba's together and, um, and you guys actually taught us and had a, had a

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great, um, had a great time. Learned a lot.

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Yeah, actually it's interesting. So two couples on tonight have been through

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Simba's when Brian and I coached, uh, Jackie and David also coached, but there

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have been several that we've done. So that's kind of fun as well. Thank you

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both. And, and Ryan, I think you did a great job at communicating just so you

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know. Um, and so can you all tell everyone, I don't know if I missed it.

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How did you actually meet?

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Okay. Sorry, you didn't miss it. So there was a girl in our group, in our, in

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Jackie's ministry. And I don't know if she's on tonight, but, um, Crystal

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Giddens and Crystal lived, I used to live in Orlando. I obviously moved to

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get married. I'm now in Alabama, but when I lived in Orlando and we were

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just starting single city and single nation and all the things, um, I was

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asked to temporarily for a little bit, start up the Orlando, uh, mod. I was a

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moderator for single city Orlando. And I organized a movie night to go see, I

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think it was like a chosen movie and Crystal came out and we met and became

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friends. And so eventually, um, Crystal sent me this request on Facebook and it

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was like, join such and such a Bible study. And I'm like, what? But I just

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was like, okay, cool. I'm all for it. Bible study. Great. Join this Bible study.

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It was a zoom Bible study. And it probably wasn't as large as this group,

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but it had a really big following of people and I was enjoying it. And at a

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certain point, the teacher, Ryan knows all about this, but the teacher of this

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group, like kind of was interested in me and wanted to go out. And I actually

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was interested in him at the time. And so he lived in Tampa. We were about two

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hours away. We met up once or twice. Um, he was not my spirit mate and I, I'm so

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thankful for Jackie's program because I was able to learn some, some things,

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some red flags that I would not have noticed before and was able to realize

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pretty quickly, like this is not my person. And I, I would, what, what

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normally would have been me just going into a long and healthy relationship, I

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was able to nip in the bud very quickly. Um, but it was interesting that God uses

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everything. And that person who led that online, um, Bible study was also a

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moderator at the time. I don't believe he does it anymore, but he was a

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moderator for an online Christian singles group. And he

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that you should just, you know, if you're not,

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if we're not gonna, you know, date or whatever,

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you should just join this.

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And I'm like, okay.

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So in that, that's how, I never noticed Ryan.

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I'm, you can tell I'm the extrovert in the couple.

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So I'm posting left and right in this group,

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but he's just quietly there.

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And one day he actually DMed me.

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And it was kind of an interesting DM because

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I was a youth director and I was coming back from camp.

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I had five hours of sleep on this camp trip

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with 50 plus kids.

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And I had posted in this group, please pray for my sanity.

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By the way, pray for their salvations

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for some of them to come to Christ.

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And at the end, we did have salvations

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and I wanted to give an update to thank everyone.

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And it snapped a quick picture of me on the bus.

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Meanwhile, in my five hours of sleep delusion,

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I have no makeup.

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My hair looks crazy.

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I mean, I remember after the fact going, what did I do?

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That's like social suicide.

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If any man is interested in me after this,

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he has got to be my husband.

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And that was the post that caught his attention

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and helped me the rest of the story.

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She looked beautiful to me.

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Good job, Ryan.

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Yeah.

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So yeah, like she mentioned,

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I was an observer on the group.

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It was basically like a Christian community.

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It wasn't really like a dating site,

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but it was therapeutic for me.

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But I just really saw God in her and her love for Christ.

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And that was one of the main factors that I was looking for.

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You know, I didn't even realize

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that she was a youth director in the post,

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but I heard, I saw Holy Spirit in her post.

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And yeah, so that's what spurred off the communication.

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And we kind of, we talked briefly,

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kind of like as friends.

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She was talking with other people.

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I was talking with other people.

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I guess maybe a few weeks, a couple of months went by and-

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It was about two weeks.

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Yeah, and so I just kind of out of convenience,

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I chose to stop communication with Anna.

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Just out of respect for,

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there was a local girl that I had met

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and started talking with and just wanted to explore it,

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things with her.

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And so I guess that didn't take very long.

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Maybe about a week and a half later,

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started commenting on some of Anna's things.

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And she's like, hey, what's going on here?

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He's either two-timing this other girl

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or it didn't work out really well.

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And it was the latter of the two.

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God showed me really quickly who that person was.

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And so I approached things with Anna

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a little more intentional and she noticed it.

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You can take over.

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Yeah, see what I thought,

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ladies, this is so important in the early dating stages.

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I thought he rejected me,

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but because I had gotten to the point,

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I was about a year or two,

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a year and a few months into Jackie's ministry.

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And I had grown enough to now realize,

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when you're rejected, it's not really rejection.

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And you don't want to take that personal.

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Because we-

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There's definite chemistry between us.

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But I do remember he was polite and I respected that.

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I was like, well, he's being honest.

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He's telling me what he's doing.

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That's fine.

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Later, what I came to realize was he said,

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Anna, you were the one I liked better out of the two,

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but you were in another state eight hours away.

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And that girl was 15 minutes from me.

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And at the time, I wasn't really,

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I was still not cooperating fully with God.

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And he had to show me, your wife is not about convenience.

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And that's when he said he became really open

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to a long distance courtship.

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Simultaneously, he was saying the same things to me as well.

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So yeah, I mean, had he,

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had I met him too soon and something like that happened,

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I would have been wounded, felt rejected and prideful

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if he came back and been like, you missed your chance.

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And that would have been it.

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But because God worked on me

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to really keep my hands wide open,

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I was able to see it differently.

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And when he came back, it wasn't something like,

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hey, I want to like date you.

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I want to, you know,

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I honestly thought we were just going to be friends.

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So it kind of wiped the whole expectation out

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of where is this going to go

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and just allowed us to talk and get to know each other

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until the point came a few months later

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where we were starting to develop feelings

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and knew we needed to meet in person.

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Yes.

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Man, this is so good.

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I love the opening story already.

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I'm excited to circle back to you all. I do want to pull out of something they just said

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that I think is so important for so many of you. So I hope that you hear this out of what they said.

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He really knew God was showing him, well, Anna said it, but I think she was sharing what God

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spoke to Ryan, like that his wife was not about convenience. So sometimes y'all, the ones that

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are like, if you have to stay local because you have children and a parenting agreement,

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that's totally different. But like for both people in the party, if one person is open minded

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about moving, if the other person cannot, or even if both people in both, like if both people can

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move and both people are open, God can do so much. Is long distance convenient? Absolutely not.

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It wasn't convenient for Ryan and I, but it was absolutely worth it. So love that you all shared

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even that aspect of your story. We're going to come back to you in just a little bit and we'll

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probably ask you to share a little bit about your long distance relationship and how God helped you

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creatively. Cause I know you guys did a lot of really cool, creative things to grow your

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relationship while you were long distance. So we'd love for you to share on that when I circle back

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to you. Okay. All right, Bobby and Jeannie, go ahead. I'm praying to God you can hear me.

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All good.

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So yeah, Jeannie, Bobby, we live on a boat, so sorry. We have some technical difficulties,

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operator errors. So combined, but good to be here. I was in Jackie, I met Jackie while ago,

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I was in her first group and I was going through her program, but it was taking longer than 12

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months. So I realized I needed more hard work and I went to Israel for a couple of months.

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And when I came back, I rejoined it and I've noticed how God had really worked more in my

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heart. And he still had a desire for me to find a soulmate and a spiritual mate. And so I had been

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married for 25 years. And then of course I thought I was a good picker. Like she says, I was a

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horrible picker. And so I said, okay, God, I know, I know what's best for me. And I married a second

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person. And so I had, I was going into my, if I was to find someone, it would be a third marriage.

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So I was terrified. So yes, I did the work with Jackie and with God, hard work. And she encouraged

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us to do different kinds of dating. And one of them was terrifying, which is online dating.

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So I was like, oh God, no. And so, and then out of all the online datings, which one, right?

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So I, I chose, I just after much prayer, I chose Bumble when it was good Bumble. Now, I guess I hear

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it's really horrible, but so I joined Bumble and a little bit, I know that Bobby was in Bumble

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and I did a lot of swiping left, a ton of swiping left because, I mean, I think I went as far as

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like a hundred mile radius and I still hit zero, you know, because if they, I was very like specific

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I needed someone that was looking for marriage and it was a believer. I just did not want to be

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like, it just really needed to be more focused and paying attention what the Holy Spirit was

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guiding me. And yeah, so Bobby and I connected through Bumble and, and he was 45 minutes away

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about, about an hour. So I can say that long distance too, because it was a little bit more

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of a challenge, but, but it just so happened that God had been putting all the pieces together

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because I had already put this house for sale and, and I, it wasn't like a decision to do it

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once I met him, but, but then he, you know, he found me a house near him and it's actually the

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same town because it was a cool town. I love it, Tarpon Springs. And we just, we dated for like a

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year, but before that I asked him, I told him about Jacqueline Smith's program, which is the 18.2

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and he joined in, he was listening and doing some of the work. And then Jacqueline said,

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did she try to match me with a few other people, person, men? And Jacqueline said,

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yeah, I think I found a really good, really nice guy. And I think he might be in your area. And

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I'm like, really? And that, I was amazed.

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dating Bobby. And she's like, yeah, his name is, he's really

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nice. His name is Bobby Goss. I'm like, really? You don't say?

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I told her I was like, we're already dating. And she was

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like, Oh, my God, he's great. So that's my version.

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I'm Bobby. And I had been married for 11 years, my first

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marriage and it didn't end well. We got a divorce and I

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became alcoholic. And I got on my knees, I was in the

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wilderness. And I got on my knees and begged God to help me

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and he sent me to AA. And that's where I met God. For real this

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time. And nothing brings willingness like the gift of

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desperation, I'd like to say. I worked on it for about eight

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years before I met Jeannie. And I was ready. And when I was

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ready to meet someone again, I got online and tried to do that

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thing. And went through went had a couple of different dates, but

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I was like, I had a my sponsor at the time, he said, write a

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list of all the qualities you want in a woman and then look

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for that. And then then in the mentor me for eight years, too.

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And he said, Now, we're going to work on you becoming the guy

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that would a woman like that. And that, I guess. And so I did

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and I accomplished that goal. And I put my wants and needs

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down and truthfully, and I wanted to be married to the

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right person. And I wanted a life partner, best friend. And I

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got on the dating site, I asked God, it's up to you, make it

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happen. And if I'm single for the rest of my life, I'm

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content with that. But if you got somebody for me, let me meet

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her. And that's how we met. And we got, we went through that. I

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went into 1822. And then we got on the marriage in a year

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program. And we stuck to it. We were we were dating for exactly

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a year. And we got married on the day we met a year later.

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It's been, it's been pretty good. We've learned a lot of

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some downs, but we're committed to making it work.

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Yeah, actually, we are pretty, pretty happily. Yeah. Well, I

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say you want to be closer to God and each other get a boat. You

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pray. Get on your knees.

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You're like, I said something offhand. Like I've always wanted

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to live on a boat. And she goes, Really? That sounds cool. Let's

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do it.

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I was like, what? Really?

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He has background in it. He he knows how to work on boats and

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stuff. He's a captain now. So

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I know we're living every minute of it. And we're glad to be a

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part of the program here.

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This is so great. So I want to just ask you all a quick

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question before we have Alex and Gwen share how they met and what

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God was having them work on before they came together. But

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as you were sharing, Bobby, if you're willing, you mentioned

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that you worked on your sobriety for eight years before you met

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Jeannie. And I know, just having grown up in a family that my

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father was an alcoholic, how much commitment that takes. But

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what I want to point out, one of the things that Jeannie told me

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actually this morning, was that before she got rid of her list

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before she was surrendered the pen as we talked about in this

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community, she actually said that she never wanted to date

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someone that had struggled with that at all. And so I just want

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to if you all don't mind to share a little bit about that,

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like, what was that like a Jeannie for you to surrender the

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pen and be open, but also Bobby, the work, you know, and the

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commitment that you put in to be prepared in that way, so that

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when Jeannie met you, and she would know that there was

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something different than what she had experienced in the past.

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Does that make sense?

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For sure. Okay, I told her about my past on our second date, and

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it was our second date with her. And because I will, I want to be

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honest as I can be, I don't want to have anything hidden, you

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know, and, and that's what the program is all about, too, is

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facing everything.

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So I just threw my cards on the table and said, I don't blame you if you don't want to stick around,

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but this is the facts, you know, and I, and I don't want to string you along. And honesty is

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the best policy. Yeah. And, um, excuse me a minute. So from my past, my dad was an alcoholic.

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He was a worship leader. I had a lot of church wounds, a lot of father wounds, a lot of abuse.

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And in them, I like said, no way I would ever marry anybody that would touch alcohol at all.

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But because of the process of hard healing and my, um, with Jacqueline and the whole program,

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I had to surrender that because that was, that was not, that's not going to be my story. I mean,

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God has better for me. And, and I knew I would pray for my husband to me because I know that

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he would be going through a lot. Like he would have, he would, the person that would understand

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what I had gone through and be empathetic would, would have had to go through a lot of pain

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because I also, I had lost the daughter, my twin sister died of cancer in my arms. And so

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I've gone through so much. I knew that God had an amazing man for me. So I was praying for him

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and going through the process. I did lay down all my wounds and my, you know, my triggers still

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are lightly there and we work on those. But yeah, I mean, like, it's amazing that I was able to,

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um, marry someone that I'm no longer, to me, he's a new man in Christ.

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You got exactly what you asked.

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That's right.

369
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Yeah, exactly. You're right. Yeah. So.

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That's so good. And I love how you just said something so key there too. And this is for

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everybody, everybody in this room, everybody in the zoom room, everybody that's going to

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watch the replay. We all have triggers you all. Okay. So even if you've worked on things for a

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really long time, sometimes just out of nowhere, that triggers going to come up and you're going

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to be like, Whoa, where did that come from? Why did that bother me so much? You know,

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or I thought I had dealt with this. So I just want everyone that's on here to understand

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we keep healing as we go. And Jackie talks about that all the time that.

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You know, you're going to, if you're hurting relationship, God will use relationship to heal

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you. And that might not all happen before the day you get married. Like it's going to happen

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continually if we allow it even long after we get married, because different life situations happen,

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you know, all different stuff that we encounter, um, you move. I know Jeannie and Bobby,

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they're in Florida. And with the last two hurricanes, you know, they went through all

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that together and, and then they sold their house and now they live on a boat. Like,

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you know, there's all different things. And so just be open minded regarding kind of where you're

384
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at. And what she said as the tail end of that was they still have them, but then they work on them.

385
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They don't allow their triggers to tear apart their relationship. I think that's key too. Um,

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and then one of the other things that I wanted to pull out of what Bobby said too,

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he said he didn't want to have anything hidden, which is amazing. I love that. And he said,

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I put all my cards on the table for those in this community. You know, that we're like,

389
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Hey, you want to try to at level two, you want to keep the conversation lighthearted and you don't

390
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want to like go deep, but situations like this are going to happen. And so I think it's important for

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everybody in the community to know you don't have to freak out. If somebody does kind of on

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a second date, they just, they're, they're concerned. Like even, you know, we joke Brian

393
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and I've told this story so many times, literally our first date, which this isn't as serious,

394
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but he's like, I like Legos and Marvel. Cause he was so like, kind of worried from his past

395
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that he just wanted that out there. And if I was going to reject him on the first date,

396
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because of that, he wanted to know it then. And so that wasn't like heavy, heavy, heavy,

397
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but I remember that first date he and I, we talked lightly about like prior situations.

398
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Um, and so sometimes that is going to happen, but we always encourage those in the community,

399
00:29:21.840 --> 00:29:26.960
just do your best to redirect it and don't like label that person. Oh, they're just oversharing

400
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:33.200
all the time. People can be teachable and we can shift and grow even in dating relationships. Okay.

401
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All right. Went Jenny, Bobby and Jeannie. Thank you. Gwen and Alex, we would love to hear how

402
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you all came together and how the heartwork kind of played a role or even for Alex,

403
00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:48.080
what you were working on outside of the pro like outside of our program before you met Gwen.

404
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:59.760
Hi everyone. Super excited to be here today. Um, so I'm Gwen and, um, yeah.

405
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I was, I was born and raised in a very closed off religious cult.

406
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So I was always told that I only had like a certain set of people that I could marry

407
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because we had to marry inside of the community.

408
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And then I didn't know Jesus because it was a very workspace religious system.

409
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And then when I was 17, I heard about Jesus, I heard about grace and I got saved.

410
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It took a couple of years after that to fully get out of that religious community.

411
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But I did eventually get out with my family as well, who were also saved.

412
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And then I had tons of trauma from that experience.

413
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And I was trying to figure out, okay, now I have the world open to me of people I could

414
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potentially marry, but how do I navigate this?

415
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And another thing was that I was already feeling very rejected at that point because it was

416
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normal for people to get married really young in the community I was in.

417
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And by the time I was out, I was already like 20 years old ish.

418
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And like you were an old maid at that point if you weren't married yet.

419
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So I was like, you know, feeling like I'm probably like no one probably wants me anymore.

420
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And I also just had a lot of really unhealthy attractions too, because I had never really

421
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been taught how to have healthy attractions.

422
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And so usually the guys that I was attracted to were just it was for all the wrong reasons.

423
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It was just kind of trauma bonding with like, oh, I'm not someone who likes to speak up

424
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and stand up for myself.

425
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So I will date someone who is really outgoing, but also really like overbearing.

426
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And I would always get in these relationships where it was just like, not it was not spirit

427
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mate stuff.

428
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It was definitely just the I figured the word that Jackie used to use, she had a word for

429
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it.

430
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But like when you're just kind of trying to do stuff that makes you feel good, but it's

431
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not it's not spirit mate, it's not God.

432
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And so I eventually got to this point where I realized, well, for one, I should say that

433
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I did get I was in a relationship with someone and they did propose to me and I said yes.

434
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But then I called off the engagement like a week later, because God was showing me

435
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very clearly that it was not it was not right.

436
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And so then after that, I just was like, Okay, I don't know how to have a healthy relationship.

437
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I need to get healing, but I had no idea where to go.

438
00:32:52.780 --> 00:32:55.580
I was like, I do not know where to go at all.

439
00:32:55.580 --> 00:33:01.340
And so I started to do some like therapy, but that wasn't really working very well.

440
00:33:01.340 --> 00:33:08.220
And then I heard about Jackie's program on the radio when she was doing like the kind

441
00:33:08.220 --> 00:33:12.180
of little snippets or I would listen to like Christian radio all the time and I heard about

442
00:33:12.180 --> 00:33:13.180
it.

443
00:33:13.180 --> 00:33:16.380
And I heard about a couple different times and I was just like, Oh, I could never do

444
00:33:16.380 --> 00:33:17.380
something like that.

445
00:33:17.380 --> 00:33:18.380
That's crazy.

446
00:33:18.380 --> 00:33:19.380
No way.

447
00:33:19.380 --> 00:33:20.380
I could never do something like that.

448
00:33:20.380 --> 00:33:21.380
And then I was like, You know what?

449
00:33:21.380 --> 00:33:22.380
Why not?

450
00:33:22.380 --> 00:33:25.420
Like, I'm just not going to tell anybody because I was, you know, thought anybody would tell

451
00:33:25.420 --> 00:33:26.420
me I was crazy.

452
00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:28.820
So I was like, I'm just gonna do it.

453
00:33:28.820 --> 00:33:30.620
And no one has to know.

454
00:33:30.620 --> 00:33:32.620
And I started into the program.

455
00:33:32.620 --> 00:33:38.700
And it was it just instantly like even though she used to do these five day like challenges

456
00:33:38.700 --> 00:33:42.220
and they like the five day challenge, I was hooked from the very beginning.

457
00:33:42.220 --> 00:33:48.500
I was like, Oh my goodness, I haven't heard somebody like speak truth in so long about

458
00:33:48.500 --> 00:33:51.940
love, about dating, about relationships.

459
00:33:51.940 --> 00:33:56.300
And so I just kept going after the five day challenge was over, I signed up for the program

460
00:33:56.300 --> 00:33:58.380
and I kept doing that.

461
00:33:58.380 --> 00:34:04.500
And I was doing the online dating thing and met a bunch of people through that and was

462
00:34:04.500 --> 00:34:07.220
just like going on dates and stuff.

463
00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:09.260
And but nothing was really sticking yet.

464
00:34:09.260 --> 00:34:14.139
But it wasn't very long after I started, I think I started online dating in April of

465
00:34:14.139 --> 00:34:15.139
that year.

466
00:34:15.139 --> 00:34:21.620
And then it was in July that a friend so it was my the church I was going to it was my

467
00:34:21.620 --> 00:34:25.719
pastor's son had recently gotten married.

468
00:34:25.719 --> 00:34:30.920
He's around my age, and his wife, I didn't really know her very well, but we happened

469
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:33.280
to be at an event together.

470
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:38.159
And then a couple weeks after that, she messages me and was like, Hey, this might be weird.

471
00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:43.199
I'm sorry, you know, this is weird, but like, I have this friend, and I think you guys might

472
00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:44.199
really hit it off.

473
00:34:44.199 --> 00:34:48.400
Like, would it be okay, if I introduced you to him, he might come to church with us in

474
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:49.400
a couple weeks.

475
00:34:49.400 --> 00:34:53.760
And I was like, you know, I had been doing the crazy online dating world.

476
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:57.120
And I was like, Sure, it can't be weirder than things I've already experienced.

477
00:34:57.120 --> 00:35:00.040
Like, let's just sure, introduce me to him, it'll be

478
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.680
fine, it'll be great or it'll not be great, but we can handle it either way. And so Alex came to

479
00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:11.360
church with them, and we started talking about college, because we had been to the same colleges

480
00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:17.360
at different times, and started talking about hobbies, and it just seemed like a good conversation.

481
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:25.920
And then he was gonna leave, so he like came by before he was about to leave from the church,

482
00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:30.800
and he was like, oh, it was really good to talk to you today, and I was like, yeah,

483
00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:37.600
I thought so too, hey, do you want my number? It was kind of really forward, but I really like,

484
00:35:37.600 --> 00:35:41.920
I thought he seemed, I mean, it seemed like it had a lot of potential, so I was like, you know what,

485
00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:48.160
I'm just gonna see if he wants to exchange numbers, and he's like, sure, and so then we did,

486
00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:53.520
and we started talking, and then we can talk more about how the relationship went after that,

487
00:35:53.520 --> 00:35:55.680
but I'll let you do your intro now.

488
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:06.000
Um, I don't know what to say about that, but anyways, my side of the story of how we met was

489
00:36:09.600 --> 00:36:13.280
the girl who introduced us, she texted me one day, she's like, hey,

490
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:20.240
are you still looking for a wife? And I said yes, of course, looking for a wife still.

491
00:36:21.200 --> 00:36:27.840
She's like, cool, I met this girl, you should come to church with us and meet her. I'm like,

492
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:33.680
cool, so I went, and yeah, we chatted, seemed to have a lot in common, so we

493
00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:43.280
wanted to hang out more. I was gonna leave, and my friend, you know, the girl who introduced us,

494
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:48.160
and then my other friend came to support me. She was like, hey, did you get her number?

495
00:36:48.160 --> 00:36:52.400
And I'm like, no, I didn't. She's like, you should go back and get it. I'm like, you're right,

496
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:56.880
I should, you know, I guess I assumed I'd come back next to church next week and get it then,

497
00:36:56.880 --> 00:37:00.800
but I was like, I guess you're right, there's no, maybe I won't come back, or maybe she won't come

498
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:04.480
back, whatever, I don't know, let me go. So I went up to go talk to her, I was like, hey,

499
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.760
it's great to meet you, and she's like, yeah, you want my number? I'm like, oh, okay, that was a

500
00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:14.640
lot easier than I thought. And yeah, I think, yeah, you're the first girl I ever dated, so

501
00:37:14.640 --> 00:37:22.000
I was like, very shy, I was very not expecting to get a number that day, but I did, so it was great.

502
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:31.680
All right, did all of our ladies in the room hear what he just said? He was very shy,

503
00:37:31.680 --> 00:37:37.360
and he probably would have gone and asked, but he needed to be encouraged by a friend,

504
00:37:37.360 --> 00:37:42.800
and then Gwen did a great job dropping the hanky, that's what we talk about in this community,

505
00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:47.200
and look at that, now they, you know, God brought them together, and they're going to tell a little

506
00:37:47.200 --> 00:37:53.760
bit more of their story, but I think it's super important because, you know, at least for me,

507
00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:58.960
you know, TV and movies kind of make you think the guy's always going to take the initiative,

508
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:05.600
and I think it really sets some people up for wrong expectations, and you know, yes, we do teach

509
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:11.040
in the community, we want the guys to, you know, be chivalrous and pursue you in a healthy way,

510
00:38:11.520 --> 00:38:15.360
but, you know, understand that there are different temperaments and personalities,

511
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:22.640
and if someone is more shy, they may not be as forward, but it doesn't mean that they're not

512
00:38:22.640 --> 00:38:28.400
interested all the time, okay, so if you're dating someone right now, and they seem a little more shy,

513
00:38:29.280 --> 00:38:33.280
not that you have to do all the work, we don't want you doing all the work, but I do want to

514
00:38:33.280 --> 00:38:37.920
point out that Gwen did a great job, again, dropping that hanky, and he picked it right up,

515
00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:43.680
and they exchanged numbers, and so after you all exchanged numbers, tell us a little bit about

516
00:38:44.640 --> 00:38:48.160
kind of how getting to know each other went, because A, I love that you all met through

517
00:38:48.160 --> 00:38:54.480
community, but you continued to get to know each other within the context of community,

518
00:38:54.480 --> 00:39:02.560
can you share a little bit about that? Yeah, so I had been, like I said, when I met him,

519
00:39:02.560 --> 00:39:08.640
I had been online dating, and I didn't just, like, stop, like, there was already some people I was,

520
00:39:08.640 --> 00:39:14.720
like, talking to, and so I, like, continued to kind of, like, talk to them while we were,

521
00:39:15.520 --> 00:39:18.960
while we were still just getting to know each other, because, like, he's a complete stranger to

522
00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:23.760
me, except for the, I just met him, right, and so we were, I was getting to know him,

523
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:31.760
but it wasn't like I just, Alexi's putting this, it wasn't like I just was like, oh,

524
00:39:31.840 --> 00:39:38.400
I'm just gonna drop everything and only talk to this one, one guy, and so, but we were, we talked,

525
00:39:38.400 --> 00:39:44.880
and we, like, hung out with friends, since we had that connection of that mutual friend that

526
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:52.720
introduced us, we kind of hung out with her and her husband a couple times, just in casual, like,

527
00:39:52.720 --> 00:39:58.080
board game night and everything, we went paddle boarding together, and then he did actually,

528
00:39:58.080 --> 00:39:59.840
like, asked me on an official date where

529
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.140
It was just the two of us on our first date. That was good

530
00:40:03.140 --> 00:40:06.720
Then we went on our second date and by the second day, I was like, okay

531
00:40:06.720 --> 00:40:12.580
I'm feeling like I really like him or well, I like there's a lot of potential here

532
00:40:12.580 --> 00:40:13.980
and so I

533
00:40:13.980 --> 00:40:19.380
Was like I'm not gonna talk to anybody else now and I didn't like talk to him about all of that

534
00:40:19.380 --> 00:40:25.080
Like I'm talking to other people like it was just I just stopped doing that. I just stopped talking to other people and

535
00:40:26.140 --> 00:40:28.140
Then when we went on our third date

536
00:40:29.040 --> 00:40:36.200
Was when I felt like my heart really like I was like, no, I do really like him. It's not just like oh,

537
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:38.520
It's potential. It's like no, I really like him

538
00:40:38.520 --> 00:40:41.860
So then I was worried like what if he doesn't ask me to be official?

539
00:40:41.860 --> 00:40:46.720
like how am I gonna navigate that because I wasn't sure if I

540
00:40:47.080 --> 00:40:52.280
like how long it would take before we decided to become like an official couple and

541
00:40:52.720 --> 00:40:56.960
Then he did after the third date a little bit like a few weeks after that

542
00:40:56.980 --> 00:41:02.820
He did ask me to be his girlfriend. And so we became official and then we were officially dating after that

543
00:41:02.820 --> 00:41:05.020
But how did it go from your side, babe?

544
00:41:07.300 --> 00:41:12.460
Like I said, I was really, you know shy and awkward and didn't know quite what to do

545
00:41:12.860 --> 00:41:19.020
So the first time we hung out, you know got a number and I think the next weekend we went paddleboarding with some friends

546
00:41:19.020 --> 00:41:21.300
And you know and I was like, you know

547
00:41:22.340 --> 00:41:24.940
Whatever. It's it is what it is

548
00:41:24.940 --> 00:41:29.600
So I'm just gonna like I don't want to waste my time either and I don't want to waste her time

549
00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:32.960
So I'm like, I'm just gonna ask her a bunch of random questions

550
00:41:34.040 --> 00:41:38.360
And like towards the end. I was like, all right. Well, I guess I'll just ask her

551
00:41:38.360 --> 00:41:39.400
It's like how many kids do you want?

552
00:41:39.400 --> 00:41:44.640
You know, I like I already like knew some big questions that would like break couples apart

553
00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:47.920
After they got married, so I was like, oh, you know kids is a big thing

554
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:51.840
So, you know, I'll just ask her, you know this first second time we met

555
00:41:52.600 --> 00:41:54.080
and

556
00:41:54.080 --> 00:41:56.860
Yeah, so I asked her how many kids she wanted and she was like, uh

557
00:41:57.900 --> 00:42:00.700
Zero to nine like that's a big range

558
00:42:01.540 --> 00:42:07.040
But it's not a solid zero wherever the camera is solid zero. So that's good, you know

559
00:42:08.020 --> 00:42:10.140
And then the second time we hung out

560
00:42:11.100 --> 00:42:12.860
outside of church was

561
00:42:12.860 --> 00:42:14.860
came over for board game night and

562
00:42:15.380 --> 00:42:19.260
I was like, all right. Well, you know, I might as well just let my freak flag fly and

563
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:22.720
I was like, let's play this board games called the redneck life

564
00:42:22.720 --> 00:42:27.840
It's a super crazy game and you know, I not not I know that not everybody likes it

565
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:31.080
I was like, you know if she doesn't like it, then she probably won't like me

566
00:42:31.240 --> 00:42:37.280
So, you know not that I love the game that much but that I'm weird like the game has a bunch of weird stuff

567
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:41.240
So I was like, okay, let's play that game and she seemed to have fun and you know

568
00:42:41.240 --> 00:42:45.800
We all had fun together with friends and stuff. So it's like, okay, this is good. This is a good start. I

569
00:42:46.780 --> 00:42:47.860
I

570
00:42:47.860 --> 00:42:52.580
Love this. So you're letting her get to know you when starting to open her heart

571
00:42:52.580 --> 00:42:55.620
We're gonna press pause on their relationship right there

572
00:42:55.620 --> 00:43:01.740
We're gonna come back and Gwen and Alex when we come back. I would love for you all to share a little bit. Also, I'm

573
00:43:02.980 --> 00:43:08.940
About some of the challenges that you faced before you got like in the dating process like things

574
00:43:09.460 --> 00:43:15.400
when that you shared with me that you know, you thought they were gonna be bigger issues and they actually

575
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:20.180
Were even after you got married and so I would love for y'all to share on that when we come back

576
00:43:20.180 --> 00:43:23.620
Okay, Anna and Ryan, we're gonna come back to you

577
00:43:23.620 --> 00:43:30.340
We'd love to hear a little bit about your long-distance creative ideas and how did God help you connect?

578
00:43:30.340 --> 00:43:34.280
You know intentionally during your long-distance dating time

579
00:43:37.540 --> 00:43:42.180
Probably gonna let Ryan do most talking because he really excelled in

580
00:43:42.960 --> 00:43:48.000
Leading during that courtship phase, but before I let him share about that

581
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:52.060
I just wanted to share with the group like for me what I

582
00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:58.400
Needed during a long-distance really because I was against distance. That was part of the heart healing

583
00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:06.520
Jackie was like Anna you're single because you have this box around you of like what you think you have to have and that's not

584
00:44:06.520 --> 00:44:08.520
God's box. That's your box

585
00:44:08.700 --> 00:44:15.020
So if you're willing to branch out of that and be open to someone with kids and be open to moving and be open to

586
00:44:15.020 --> 00:44:16.540
This that and the other thing

587
00:44:16.540 --> 00:44:18.820
That was hard because I was a youth director

588
00:44:18.820 --> 00:44:25.860
I was basically an unordained youth pastor with a youth group of a hundred kids that were like my kids for eight years

589
00:44:25.860 --> 00:44:29.140
I mean I had kids come from sixth grade through high school and graduate and

590
00:44:29.300 --> 00:44:34.220
To leave that to leave that behind would it and I grew up where I lived to you

591
00:44:34.220 --> 00:44:38.640
I was there for I guess I relocated when I was six. So 38 years. I lived there

592
00:44:38.640 --> 00:44:43.920
It's very established and that was gonna be huge for me. So what I needed

593
00:44:44.600 --> 00:44:48.960
For that as well as coming out of a divorce from a con artist

594
00:44:49.560 --> 00:44:51.560
Was I needed to see consistency?

595
00:44:52.340 --> 00:44:56.980
Like that was huge for me. So in my head, I remember going. All right

596
00:44:57.640 --> 00:44:59.960
let's see if he can show me that because

597
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:11.820
Because if he can't show that and he just kind of like starts off hot and heavy, like, yeah, I'm going to come down to, I live in Florida, we're going down to Florida, we're going to have some fun, I might come back once or twice, and then it's going to peter out.

598
00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:20.760
I was kind of like, let's see. And surprisingly, but not surprisingly, Ryan had a plan. And so I'd love for you to share about the plan.

599
00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:21.520
All right.

600
00:45:22.680 --> 00:45:50.040
Yeah, so we were talking just we would we would have an occasional video chat or phone conversation. No, I didn't have your phone number yet. So we would do video chats, you know, messaging through Messenger and things like that. And so, um, a few, I guess a couple months went by. And so, um, pretty early on,

601
00:45:50.760 --> 00:46:17.920
I'm not the type of person that wants to talk to multiple people, multiple women at a time. But so I knew pretty early on that, that there was a large potential for her. And so I kind of had told had shared with her that, that, you know, this doesn't mean this is just my preference.

602
00:46:17.960 --> 00:46:42.120
This doesn't mean that we're an item or we're together. I'm just going to respectfully let you know that I'm not, I want to focus on the potential that we have. And so she was open about that, you know, she was going to continue on talking and I was completely fine with that.

603
00:46:43.040 --> 00:47:00.000
Talking to other people, because I was talking to a handful of other people. And I wanted him to know that I didn't want to be dishonest with him. Because I knew from everything we learned until we met in person, you just don't know. And I needed to make sure that it was going to translate in real life.

604
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:29.360
But I also needed to make sure, did I want to meet him in real life? Like, how do I really know I want to meet him in real life, I had to kind of vet, if that makes sense. And the best way for vetting was by comparison with other people. So what I liked about his responses, his response was different from other men in the past, where if I would have told them that they would have been turned off and like pressured me to commit to them, or they were going to walk, or just shame me about it or made me feel bad.

605
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:43.120
He was very much like, I respect that. Thank you for being honest. And that took so much pressure off of me. And it didn't change the way he behaved or treated me. In fact, he stayed consistent the whole time. So

606
00:47:43.760 --> 00:48:08.800
Yeah, so I mean, not, I knew what I had to offer, not in an arrogant or conceited way. And I knew that if we were meant to be together, that it was just going to work out. And so that was kind of my, my test was that, you know, if I, if I make it to the end with her, then we need to really meet in person.

607
00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:36.480
And so, little bit by little bit, she would kind of update me on things and, hey, I'm no longer talking to such and such. And that's okay. Well, that's, you know, that's cool. I mean, we kind of made jokes about it or whatever. But so whenever we eventually deemed that we, when she told me that she had quit talking to the last person and I was the only one, we really knew that we needed to meet in person.

608
00:48:36.480 --> 00:49:00.160
And so, so I made arrangements to drive down. Like she said, like she mentioned, it was about an eight hour drive and no real, no real plan except for just, I would stay a couple of days at a hotel. We would meet up. I wanted to make sure that she was comfortable with that.

609
00:49:00.160 --> 00:49:25.440
And I mean, I like sent her like my license plate, my, I wanted her friends to know like my license plate number, my driver's license number, just, just for her security. And so after, after we, after we met, we had a day date that, that was kind of like pretty much, pretty much all day. Yeah.

610
00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:37.360
At the end of it, I knew that I wanted to ask her if she, if she would be my girlfriend and that we would be, what do you, what do you call it? Just exclusive. Yeah.

611
00:49:38.080 --> 00:49:53.520
But can I, can I add something really quick? So two important things is one, God had told me in my personal, you know, relationship with the Lord, because I not only did Jackie's program,

612
00:49:53.520 --> 00:49:59.840
but I, I did Jackie's program with Jesus. You know, we did it together. He was the one holding my hand.

613
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.200
Trust me, if he wasn't, I would have, there were so many times I wanted to quit.

614
00:50:05.240 --> 00:50:08.840
There were so many times that I had like adult temper tantrums with Jackie.

615
00:50:09.120 --> 00:50:11.080
Cause I'm like, I don't want to do this, you know?

616
00:50:11.080 --> 00:50:12.800
And she's like, you got to.

617
00:50:13.120 --> 00:50:19.760
So, um, one of the things Jesus told me was Anna, I used to fall for

618
00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:24.080
love bombers big time because of my childhood upbringing and some trauma

619
00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:27.120
there, and I would commit within a month.

620
00:50:27.560 --> 00:50:29.120
And I'm not saying there's anything wrong.

621
00:50:29.120 --> 00:50:31.480
I mean, if that's your love story, praise Jesus.

622
00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:35.640
But for me, the Lord said, I want you to grow in discernment.

623
00:50:36.120 --> 00:50:38.320
I want you to slow your role and take your time.

624
00:50:38.840 --> 00:50:42.320
And so he gave me a number and that number was three, three months.

625
00:50:42.360 --> 00:50:46.520
He didn't want me to commit to anybody, whether I was talking to

626
00:50:46.520 --> 00:50:47.960
a bunch of people or one person.

627
00:50:48.200 --> 00:50:50.600
He did not want me to commit until after three months.

628
00:50:50.640 --> 00:50:56.640
And so I remember telling Ryan, like, look, if, if I stopped talking to these

629
00:50:56.640 --> 00:50:59.880
guys and it's just you and me, that doesn't mean we're going to be exclusive

630
00:50:59.880 --> 00:51:01.680
because one, I have to meet you in person.

631
00:51:01.680 --> 00:51:05.640
And two, like, I don't have permission from my heavenly father to even

632
00:51:05.640 --> 00:51:07.640
commit to you until after three months.

633
00:51:08.040 --> 00:51:11.320
And like, I know for some men that was a turnoff, but those

634
00:51:11.320 --> 00:51:12.840
were red flag, he meant for me.

635
00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:16.920
They, you know, they were looking to accelerate an agenda.

636
00:51:16.920 --> 00:51:19.160
And so for him, he was very laid back and he's like, well,

637
00:51:19.160 --> 00:51:20.280
you got to listen to God.

638
00:51:20.280 --> 00:51:22.160
You know, he's like, that's what he told you.

639
00:51:22.440 --> 00:51:23.040
That's fine.

640
00:51:23.040 --> 00:51:23.960
We're not rushing.

641
00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:25.960
We're not, we don't have a specific timeline.

642
00:51:25.960 --> 00:51:26.920
We have his timeline.

643
00:51:27.560 --> 00:51:32.600
And the other important thing, cause this is part of the growing is right,

644
00:51:32.720 --> 00:51:35.960
right before he and I actually met.

645
00:51:35.960 --> 00:51:37.880
So we met around four months.

646
00:51:38.000 --> 00:51:39.120
That's when he came.

647
00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:44.600
Um, I had, so I have a bone tumor in my right leg.

648
00:51:44.600 --> 00:51:45.400
It's benign.

649
00:51:45.400 --> 00:51:50.520
I've had it since I was a child, but it has not acted up in 37 years.

650
00:51:51.200 --> 00:51:55.360
And right before he came, I had, I must've hit it on something

651
00:51:55.840 --> 00:51:57.320
and stress fractured it.

652
00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:02.280
And I was terrified because I had no idea what was going on.

653
00:52:02.280 --> 00:52:05.360
Like I, I remembered what I went through as a child, but I was

654
00:52:05.360 --> 00:52:07.600
no longer in contact with my family.

655
00:52:08.600 --> 00:52:10.840
And so I had nothing to go by.

656
00:52:10.840 --> 00:52:13.640
I mean, I'm literally trying to track down my bone specialist from

657
00:52:13.640 --> 00:52:16.920
when I was a kid in the eighties and I did find him for the record.

658
00:52:16.920 --> 00:52:17.600
It was amazing.

659
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:22.360
But, um, so I was scared cause I thought, oh my gosh, did it, did it grow?

660
00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:23.560
Like what's going on?

661
00:52:23.560 --> 00:52:25.080
And I'm on a knee scooter.

662
00:52:25.440 --> 00:52:26.640
I can't drive.

663
00:52:26.960 --> 00:52:30.720
I'm wearing yoga pants 24 seven, because you're sweating your butt off as in

664
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:34.000
Florida, as you're riding around on the scooter, nothing about it was

665
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:36.880
ideal to meet someone or date them.

666
00:52:37.240 --> 00:52:41.360
But God, I now know God was saying, Anna, one of your problems is you are a

667
00:52:41.360 --> 00:52:44.760
perfectionist and I am breaking you out of perfection.

668
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:48.880
So everything about the beginning of me and Ryan dating did not go

669
00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:50.800
the way I would have wanted it to.

670
00:52:51.200 --> 00:52:53.320
And it was, yeah.

671
00:52:53.560 --> 00:52:54.600
The second time.

672
00:52:54.640 --> 00:52:57.800
Um, right before I picked her about an hour before I picked her up in

673
00:52:57.800 --> 00:53:00.320
the morning, what your water cut off.

674
00:53:00.360 --> 00:53:00.800
Yes.

675
00:53:00.840 --> 00:53:03.480
There was some weird thing that happened in my community.

676
00:53:03.480 --> 00:53:06.840
And I had lived in that community like seven years and it never

677
00:53:06.840 --> 00:53:08.840
happened before that never happened since.

678
00:53:09.440 --> 00:53:10.920
But the water went out in the whole community.

679
00:53:10.920 --> 00:53:14.200
I couldn't take a shower and I'm like freaking out.

680
00:53:14.200 --> 00:53:17.160
Cause I'm supposed to go on a second date with this man.

681
00:53:17.160 --> 00:53:20.040
And after I met him and I liked him like for real, for real.

682
00:53:20.040 --> 00:53:22.120
And I'm going, I smell my hair.

683
00:53:22.680 --> 00:53:24.200
I'm freaking out.

684
00:53:24.680 --> 00:53:28.200
Well, I had to do, you know, having been a youth director, I've done mission, a

685
00:53:28.200 --> 00:53:30.920
lot of mission trips where we do what we call the missionary shower, which

686
00:53:30.920 --> 00:53:34.080
you take a bottle of water and a washcloth and you just wash yourself,

687
00:53:34.320 --> 00:53:35.400
throw your hair in a bun.

688
00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:37.240
That's what I did.

689
00:53:37.240 --> 00:53:41.320
And I remember like crying and having the meltdown, but I also remember the

690
00:53:41.320 --> 00:53:43.760
Lord going, I'm breaking you of perfectionism.

691
00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:45.320
Your husband will not care.

692
00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:46.560
I'm breaking you for that.

693
00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:48.320
And he did not care.

694
00:53:49.480 --> 00:53:53.880
So like, just all the things that you think are going to happen often don't

695
00:53:53.880 --> 00:53:59.080
happen the way you think, because it's not your plan, it's God's and he wants

696
00:53:59.080 --> 00:54:01.280
to shake the mold of what you're used to.

697
00:54:01.640 --> 00:54:04.440
And it's very uncomfortable, but it works.

698
00:54:04.680 --> 00:54:05.080
So,

699
00:54:05.440 --> 00:54:11.120
so each time I had come down, you know, I wanted to have like, uh, what's

700
00:54:11.120 --> 00:54:12.720
when is our next visit going to be?

701
00:54:12.720 --> 00:54:14.600
I wanted to kind of go ahead and establish that.

702
00:54:14.640 --> 00:54:19.440
And we tried to keep it like maybe every two weeks, three weeks, depending

703
00:54:19.440 --> 00:54:21.840
on, um, schedules and things like that.

704
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:27.360
Both of my, I have two daughters and they both, um, play high level, um, travel ball.

705
00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:32.000
And so during the summertime there, our, our schedules are really, really busy.

706
00:54:32.400 --> 00:54:36.120
Um, so just planning around that and working things out, sometimes

707
00:54:36.120 --> 00:54:37.360
it might've went a little longer.

708
00:54:37.800 --> 00:54:42.640
But in between trips, you know, we're, we're talking pretty, we're talking

709
00:54:42.640 --> 00:54:46.280
pretty regular, um, on the phone, we're talking each day and things like that.

710
00:54:46.320 --> 00:54:51.320
And, um, but not obsessively, because that's what I used to do.

711
00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:54.760
I used to get on the phone with a guy that I liked and let it go

712
00:54:54.760 --> 00:54:56.400
as long as he wanted to talk.

713
00:54:56.640 --> 00:54:59.800
And one of the things Jackie taught me was like, Anna, you need to work.

714
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.000
Renee, Renee was instrumental.

715
00:55:02.220 --> 00:55:04.140
Her name is like boundaries boundaries.

716
00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:08.400
So I remember like in our early conversations after an hour, I would cut it off.

717
00:55:08.480 --> 00:55:09.720
I said, I gotta, I gotta go.

718
00:55:09.720 --> 00:55:11.440
And he's like, it's eight o'clock.

719
00:55:11.440 --> 00:55:12.120
Like, really?

720
00:55:12.120 --> 00:55:16.340
And I'm like, yeah, I wasn't playing a game.

721
00:55:16.340 --> 00:55:21.140
I just wanted to show him like, Hey, you don't have me wrapped all

722
00:55:21.140 --> 00:55:23.120
around your pinky, like a doormat.

723
00:55:23.180 --> 00:55:27.680
You know, because when people establish that early on, especially if they don't

724
00:55:27.680 --> 00:55:30.580
have good intentions, they will take full advantage of that.

725
00:55:30.580 --> 00:55:35.340
So I had to start establishing like my time and access to me is something

726
00:55:35.340 --> 00:55:36.860
that will gradually be earned.

727
00:55:36.860 --> 00:55:39.060
And of course it didn't always stay like that.

728
00:55:39.500 --> 00:55:43.040
The more we got to know each other and the safer we felt, the more I

729
00:55:43.040 --> 00:55:45.100
was able to give more of me to him.

730
00:55:45.380 --> 00:55:48.980
But I remember him thinking like, he's like, I've never had a woman do that

731
00:55:49.380 --> 00:55:51.780
before, you know, and he didn't know how to handle it, but at the same

732
00:55:51.780 --> 00:55:53.360
time, he wasn't turned off by it.

733
00:55:54.360 --> 00:55:59.780
It actually turned out to be, um, a really good thing because, you know, it

734
00:55:59.780 --> 00:56:06.540
allowed me on the other, on the other side to continue my life in Alabama with,

735
00:56:06.580 --> 00:56:12.180
um, you know, uh, the girls with my relationship with Christ, you know, it

736
00:56:12.420 --> 00:56:19.020
just allowed me as well as her to just have our own life, other healthy, healthy

737
00:56:19.020 --> 00:56:22.860
relationships, other than, than just being consumed by one another.

738
00:56:23.200 --> 00:56:27.040
Um, and it, it paced the relationship really good.

739
00:56:27.640 --> 00:56:33.840
Um, so yeah, anyways, um, in between dates, you know, we wanted to kind of,

740
00:56:33.880 --> 00:56:38.200
um, keep it, um, exciting and interesting.

741
00:56:38.200 --> 00:56:39.720
It was so long.

742
00:56:39.720 --> 00:56:42.440
It seemed like so long before we would see each other.

743
00:56:42.720 --> 00:56:47.100
It was just, um, it would seem like so long before we would see each other.

744
00:56:47.100 --> 00:56:52.160
And so we, um, started doing these things called, we call them countdowns.

745
00:56:52.300 --> 00:56:55.220
Um, and they were kind of like themed countdowns.

746
00:56:55.280 --> 00:57:01.280
Um, you know, one of them just, uh, what's, what's one of them that you've

747
00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:05.060
heard would come up with them to make it fun, because it's hard to be long

748
00:57:05.060 --> 00:57:11.720
distance and he would say, okay, so we'll take turns every other day, sending each

749
00:57:11.720 --> 00:57:16.840
other, um, like for example, a theme was, um, 10 things I love about you, or I, or

750
00:57:16.840 --> 00:57:22.520
my favorite things about you, or I had a theme once that was like, um, 15 things.

751
00:57:22.520 --> 00:57:24.880
I can't wait for us to do with each together.

752
00:57:24.960 --> 00:57:29.020
You know, I think we had one, like when we got real serious, it was like, what

753
00:57:29.020 --> 00:57:34.120
we want in our future marriage together and dreams list, the days

754
00:57:34.120 --> 00:57:36.080
of how long we had to see each other.

755
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:36.640
Yeah.

756
00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:38.400
This is so great.

757
00:57:38.400 --> 00:57:42.620
So one of the things, um, just cause I need to shift and go to Bobby and Jeannie,

758
00:57:42.620 --> 00:57:44.500
I love everything that y'all are sharing.

759
00:57:44.820 --> 00:57:48.140
One of the things I want to pull out of there that I think is really important

760
00:57:48.140 --> 00:57:53.740
for everyone to hear that is long distance and also local is pacing.

761
00:57:53.780 --> 00:57:57.180
Your relationship is so important.

762
00:57:57.820 --> 00:58:03.420
Um, having a healthy individual, like, like what hobbies do I have?

763
00:58:03.420 --> 00:58:04.620
What hobbies do they have?

764
00:58:04.620 --> 00:58:06.860
What interest or, you know, their jobs.

765
00:58:06.860 --> 00:58:10.300
And like Ryan was saying, like our relationship with the Lord, like Brian

766
00:58:10.300 --> 00:58:15.180
and I also, um, that was one of the things like we didn't talk every day.

767
00:58:15.300 --> 00:58:20.180
Like we would text, but like we did a video chat a couple nights a week.

768
00:58:20.500 --> 00:58:24.380
I think maybe two or three at most, especially in the beginning.

769
00:58:24.740 --> 00:58:28.940
And we would text a little bit, but I had a job that like, I couldn't

770
00:58:28.940 --> 00:58:31.340
text all day and he had a job.

771
00:58:31.540 --> 00:58:36.860
And so we just, we would touch base and chat, but like, it was, it was good for

772
00:58:36.860 --> 00:58:42.660
me, uh, at least from my perspective, you can share it, but like, um, because

773
00:58:42.700 --> 00:58:47.260
it helped me like not do what I had done in the past and I used to get really

774
00:58:47.260 --> 00:58:51.220
wrapped up in the other people, like the prior guy I dated, that's where

775
00:58:51.220 --> 00:58:52.460
my spiritual daughters came from.

776
00:58:52.460 --> 00:58:57.780
So I was totally wrapped up in all things them and lost a lot of myself.

777
00:58:57.780 --> 00:59:01.580
And so what I don't want to see happen for those in this community, as you

778
00:59:01.580 --> 00:59:05.060
all get into relationship and lose yourself, cause I've done it in the past.

779
00:59:05.060 --> 00:59:06.060
It's not good.

780
00:59:06.340 --> 00:59:11.820
And so knowing who you are, knowing things that you enjoy, figure those

781
00:59:11.820 --> 00:59:17.820
things out now, um, so that when you start dating, you still do those things,

782
00:59:17.820 --> 00:59:21.020
you know, and of course you'll find things that you enjoy to do as a couple

783
00:59:21.020 --> 00:59:25.020
as well, but you want to make sure that.

784
00:59:25.620 --> 00:59:27.940
You maintain you as well.

785
00:59:28.100 --> 00:59:33.340
Like, even after we got married, we still for a long time, like on every Tuesday

786
00:59:33.380 --> 00:59:35.660
night, he would go kind of like do his thing.

787
00:59:35.660 --> 00:59:36.820
And I would do my thing.

788
00:59:37.140 --> 00:59:41.020
Uh, even if we were in the house, like there were things that we enjoyed

789
00:59:41.020 --> 00:59:43.860
and that space was healthy for us.

790
00:59:44.020 --> 00:59:44.740
Does that make sense?

791
00:59:44.740 --> 00:59:45.340
Everyone.

792
00:59:45.700 --> 00:59:49.780
If I could add something picked up on something that Anna said earlier, uh,

793
00:59:49.780 --> 00:59:53.700
some people, if you don't have boundaries, we'll take advantage of that.

794
00:59:54.260 --> 00:59:59.660
In previous relationships, you know, uh, I've had exes that tried to isolate where

795
00:59:59.660 --> 00:59:59.740
I.

796
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.000
So getting too wrapped up into involved would oftentimes pull you just suck you into that relationship and kind of create a standard.

797
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:17.000
So not getting caught up that and having the space. I was able to talk to my family and friends about her and it was it was a create a really nice balance.

798
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:22.000
So I didn't feel like it was imbalanced in any way. It was it was really good pace.

799
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:32.000
Yeah. And so just wanted to make sure to share that with you all. Bobby and Jeannie, can you all share with us a little bit about some of the challenges you faced?

800
01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:38.000
I know some of them that you shared with me, but want to leave that totally open to what you want to share about those.

801
01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:44.000
And like through the challenges, how did God help you all come together as a team?

802
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:51.000
I want to make sure that that comes out in this part of the conversation tonight as well.

803
01:00:51.000 --> 01:00:58.000
Yeah. So one of the biggest challenges was our kids.

804
01:00:59.000 --> 01:01:04.000
He has a 20 year old. Now he's 20.

805
01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:11.000
But, you know, three years ago, 16, 17. And then my son is 36.

806
01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:16.000
So, you know, at first, everything seemed great.

807
01:01:16.000 --> 01:01:23.000
We did go through pre marriage counseling with the pastor privately.

808
01:01:23.000 --> 01:01:31.000
And but then we started kind of hitting a wall where he wasn't receptive, his son.

809
01:01:31.000 --> 01:01:38.000
But then we kept, you know, thinking, well, it's going to come around kind of thing.

810
01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:51.000
So. He we started setting boundaries, you know, as a couple, we come together and.

811
01:01:51.000 --> 01:02:02.000
And he just we hit a wall with him where there was, you know, lack of respect and things like that.

812
01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:08.000
So up to today, the relationship is not good.

813
01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:19.000
And then with my son, being that he's older, I have two grandbabies and he's in a relationship with the mother.

814
01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:24.000
So it's kind of strange to he's moved.

815
01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:29.000
He was in New York, moved to Florida to be closer, but it was five, five hours away.

816
01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:38.000
And so he went back to New York. So that's been really challenging for us that we have an only child.

817
01:02:38.000 --> 01:02:47.000
I mean, I had a daughter, but she's passed away that they're not part of our lives because we're in such a good place.

818
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:57.000
And we want to share with them what we have worked together so hard and how God has blessed us and the opportunities and they don't want any part of it.

819
01:02:57.000 --> 01:03:04.000
You know, we've we've totally surrendered that to God.

820
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:15.000
You know, there are some days where, you know, we we go through some anger issues and stuff because, you know, we're just like, you know, what the heck?

821
01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:20.000
It's really difficult to enjoy life when your child isn't talking to you.

822
01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:27.000
And it's it's very, very challenging.

823
01:03:27.000 --> 01:03:30.000
Yeah, we can't quite hear you. Can you all hear him?

824
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:32.000
Yeah, just take the.

825
01:03:32.000 --> 01:03:34.000
OK.

826
01:03:34.000 --> 01:03:40.000
It's very challenging when a child doesn't want to speak with their parents.

827
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:46.000
And I've been dealing with that for the last couple of years.

828
01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:51.000
I thought it would be resolved by now.

829
01:03:51.000 --> 01:04:00.000
But it's really difficult to live, live, you know, a good life when your child isn't speaking to you.

830
01:04:01.000 --> 01:04:04.000
I had to let that go.

831
01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:07.000
I want to fix it.

832
01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:11.000
I want to run over there and try to talk to him.

833
01:04:11.000 --> 01:04:13.000
But it's just like this.

834
01:04:13.000 --> 01:04:16.000
It's just like God.

835
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:18.000
You got to come together.

836
01:04:18.000 --> 01:04:21.000
He's not going to make you.

837
01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:23.000
He can't hear.

838
01:04:23.000 --> 01:04:24.000
Let's take this off.

839
01:04:24.000 --> 01:04:29.000
Hang on a second.

840
01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:33.000
Yep.

841
01:04:33.000 --> 01:04:35.000
Yes, so much better.

842
01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:36.000
Yes.

843
01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:37.000
Sorry about that.

844
01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:39.000
That's all right.

845
01:04:39.000 --> 01:04:42.000
Yeah, it's very challenging having a child that doesn't talk.

846
01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:45.000
But he was.

847
01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:48.000
He was very disrespectful, angry kid.

848
01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:55.000
He got that from some of it for me because I was growing up in a pretty tumultuous household.

849
01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:58.000
Most of his early life.

850
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.280
that I've changed, you know, and this and that,

851
01:05:03.280 --> 01:05:05.640
and make amends and all those things,

852
01:05:05.640 --> 01:05:07.280
but he's not ready to receive it yet.

853
01:05:07.280 --> 01:05:11.360
So, and I still go to meetings every day.

854
01:05:11.360 --> 01:05:14.920
I still, I have a discipleship band with my pastor and stuff

855
01:05:14.920 --> 01:05:17.680
and we talk about these things on a regular basis.

856
01:05:17.680 --> 01:05:19.000
And if I didn't have that,

857
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:20.960
I would pretty much go crazy right now.

858
01:05:22.680 --> 01:05:24.200
It's really hard to enjoy life

859
01:05:24.200 --> 01:05:26.600
when my child's not talking to me.

860
01:05:26.600 --> 01:05:29.000
But, you know, when I share that with other people,

861
01:05:29.000 --> 01:05:32.200
they tell me, oh yeah, there was a time in my kid's life

862
01:05:32.200 --> 01:05:34.520
where he didn't talk to me for a couple of years.

863
01:05:34.520 --> 01:05:37.240
And it's fairly common, you know,

864
01:05:37.240 --> 01:05:38.480
and I'm just like, really?

865
01:05:38.480 --> 01:05:39.320
I didn't know that.

866
01:05:39.320 --> 01:05:41.120
So I got hope, you know,

867
01:05:41.120 --> 01:05:44.680
I know God's gonna bring him back in time.

868
01:05:44.680 --> 01:05:47.320
So, and he's not my child, he's God's child.

869
01:05:47.320 --> 01:05:49.120
God doesn't have any grandchildren,

870
01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:53.400
but I'm his dad and I'd like to be in his life.

871
01:05:53.400 --> 01:05:55.200
And I made that perfectly clear,

872
01:05:55.200 --> 01:05:56.400
so the ball's in this court.

873
01:05:56.400 --> 01:05:59.040
So I have to leave it up to God,

874
01:05:59.040 --> 01:06:01.200
but it's very hard to do at times.

875
01:06:01.200 --> 01:06:04.520
And we get in, you know, I get in a bad mood

876
01:06:04.520 --> 01:06:06.320
and it's because of those reasons.

877
01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:11.280
With that, first, let me ask this

878
01:06:11.280 --> 01:06:14.480
just so that we can be praying for him as a community

879
01:06:14.480 --> 01:06:15.320
and for you all.

880
01:06:15.320 --> 01:06:17.200
What are your two sons' names?

881
01:06:18.280 --> 01:06:20.280
Aiden and Gabe.

882
01:06:20.280 --> 01:06:22.040
Aiden and Gabe, okay.

883
01:06:22.040 --> 01:06:24.200
So Aiden is 28.

884
01:06:24.200 --> 01:06:25.840
Yeah, yeah, my pleasure.

885
01:06:26.200 --> 01:06:27.400
I think it's important as a community

886
01:06:27.400 --> 01:06:29.760
for us to come around our married couples,

887
01:06:29.760 --> 01:06:32.040
you know, that are navigating some of these challenges

888
01:06:32.040 --> 01:06:34.240
and also, you know, all the time,

889
01:06:34.240 --> 01:06:35.600
the prayers that go up for all those

890
01:06:35.600 --> 01:06:36.840
looking for their spirit mate.

891
01:06:36.840 --> 01:06:40.320
If God puts it on your heart to pray for all those

892
01:06:40.320 --> 01:06:42.400
that have gotten married through our community,

893
01:06:42.400 --> 01:06:43.680
I would be grateful for that.

894
01:06:43.680 --> 01:06:45.760
And I know they would be as well.

895
01:06:45.760 --> 01:06:48.080
So Bobby and Jeannie, like, what,

896
01:06:48.080 --> 01:06:50.120
like how did God through that,

897
01:06:50.120 --> 01:06:52.440
how have you all come closer together?

898
01:06:53.320 --> 01:06:55.520
Yeah, I was gonna, I was thinking about that

899
01:06:56.200 --> 01:06:57.040
while he was talking about,

900
01:06:57.040 --> 01:06:59.520
he's so good because it's not,

901
01:06:59.520 --> 01:07:00.840
if we're gonna go through stuff,

902
01:07:00.840 --> 01:07:03.520
it's, I mean, we are going to go through stuff,

903
01:07:03.520 --> 01:07:04.640
it's guaranteed.

904
01:07:04.640 --> 01:07:05.480
He promises us.

905
01:07:05.480 --> 01:07:09.800
Yeah, but he promised to be with a broken hearted.

906
01:07:09.800 --> 01:07:14.800
So, I mean, we've come together to,

907
01:07:15.040 --> 01:07:16.960
you know, hang on a second.

908
01:07:16.960 --> 01:07:17.960
Aiden?

909
01:07:17.960 --> 01:07:18.800
Yeah.

910
01:07:18.800 --> 01:07:22.600
So he's, yeah, he's come, we come together,

911
01:07:22.600 --> 01:07:24.360
I mean, we do devotionals together,

912
01:07:24.360 --> 01:07:29.360
we pray together, you know, he leads, you know, and-

913
01:07:29.760 --> 01:07:30.920
God uses everything.

914
01:07:30.920 --> 01:07:34.200
Yeah, yeah, we just have to remember that,

915
01:07:34.200 --> 01:07:36.880
you know, we put God first and then our relationship

916
01:07:36.880 --> 01:07:39.320
and then he'll take care of the rest.

917
01:07:39.320 --> 01:07:43.040
We need to rest in him and rely on him

918
01:07:43.040 --> 01:07:46.040
and know that, like, you know, that he is,

919
01:07:46.040 --> 01:07:48.040
he loves them more than we do.

920
01:07:48.040 --> 01:07:48.880
Yes.

921
01:07:49.720 --> 01:07:50.960
Yeah, it's brought us together

922
01:07:50.960 --> 01:07:53.200
and we had other challenges at the beginning.

923
01:07:53.640 --> 01:07:56.120
He had an accident a long time ago with his back

924
01:07:56.120 --> 01:08:00.240
and that almost did not allow us to come together

925
01:08:00.240 --> 01:08:02.800
because he was so scared that he would be on a wheelchair

926
01:08:02.800 --> 01:08:04.080
and I would have to take care of him

927
01:08:04.080 --> 01:08:05.200
for the rest of his life.

928
01:08:05.200 --> 01:08:08.080
And, you know, God has healed him.

929
01:08:08.080 --> 01:08:11.640
I mean, we've seen how he's just,

930
01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:13.240
just really healed him.

931
01:08:13.240 --> 01:08:16.080
You know, like I was telling you that he does boat yoga.

932
01:08:16.080 --> 01:08:17.279
I mean, we don't like yoga,

933
01:08:17.279 --> 01:08:18.319
but I'm just saying, like,

934
01:08:18.319 --> 01:08:20.080
he gets into really tight spaces,

935
01:08:20.080 --> 01:08:22.960
he takes the boat and, you know, he's pulling the anchor

936
01:08:23.720 --> 01:08:26.240
and that, it's amazing how God, you know,

937
01:08:26.240 --> 01:08:29.600
it's just how you get through the hurdles

938
01:08:30.960 --> 01:08:33.399
that makes you stronger

939
01:08:33.399 --> 01:08:35.399
because we turn towards each other.

940
01:08:35.399 --> 01:08:37.319
We turn to God and then towards each other.

941
01:08:37.319 --> 01:08:39.479
We don't, like before I would run away

942
01:08:39.479 --> 01:08:41.560
and like, okay, later, you know,

943
01:08:41.560 --> 01:08:44.279
and just for him drink or whatever,

944
01:08:44.279 --> 01:08:48.760
we all have our things, but not anymore

945
01:08:48.760 --> 01:08:52.080
because we know that we stand firm.

946
01:08:52.080 --> 01:08:55.920
That God is, he's got us no matter what.

947
01:08:55.920 --> 01:08:59.399
It's not easy, but you gotta work it through.

948
01:09:02.359 --> 01:09:03.200
And it's worth it.

949
01:09:03.200 --> 01:09:06.040
So even the phrase that Jackie says, you know,

950
01:09:06.040 --> 01:09:07.920
for our community, when we're single

951
01:09:07.920 --> 01:09:09.560
and you're pursuing that spirit mate

952
01:09:09.560 --> 01:09:10.880
and you're moving towards, you know,

953
01:09:10.880 --> 01:09:12.600
through all that heartwork, you know,

954
01:09:12.600 --> 01:09:13.840
it doesn't have to be easy.

955
01:09:13.840 --> 01:09:14.680
It just has to be worth it.

956
01:09:14.680 --> 01:09:18.080
The same thing applies in marriage and regarding our kids.

957
01:09:18.080 --> 01:09:21.399
And I did wanna mention, and Alex and Gwen,

958
01:09:21.399 --> 01:09:22.920
I'm getting ready to come over to you all

959
01:09:22.920 --> 01:09:25.000
to share on some of those kind of challenges

960
01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:28.359
that you all faced a little bit before you got married.

961
01:09:28.359 --> 01:09:31.000
But I saw something that Gail had put in the chat

962
01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:35.000
and wanted just to mention, she, you know, has concern.

963
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:37.439
Is it gonna be tough because she has estrangement

964
01:09:37.439 --> 01:09:39.520
from her, with her kids

965
01:09:39.520 --> 01:09:41.640
and will that impact dating relationships

966
01:09:41.640 --> 01:09:44.359
or being concerned about going into relationship with that?

967
01:09:44.359 --> 01:09:46.720
And I just wanna encourage all of you

968
01:09:46.720 --> 01:09:50.439
that are in that place, continue to heal.

969
01:09:50.479 --> 01:09:53.760
If there's anything that you can do to keep healing

970
01:09:53.760 --> 01:09:56.600
and be at peace with that person,

971
01:09:56.600 --> 01:09:58.760
do all that you can to do that.

972
01:09:58.760 --> 01:09:59.960
But it, you know,

973
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.120
We've done all we can do to create peace with that person.

974
01:10:03.120 --> 01:10:07.880
Sometimes our children even are not in a healthy place, again,

975
01:10:07.880 --> 01:10:10.680
like because of maybe even things that we did in the past

976
01:10:10.680 --> 01:10:15.040
or things they've gone through or experienced, and they may not

977
01:10:15.040 --> 01:10:18.400
be able to be in healthy relationship right now. And I

978
01:10:18.400 --> 01:10:20.960
just want you all to know, like, are you okay if I share just

979
01:10:20.960 --> 01:10:28.400
briefly? So when I met Brian, he wasn't really talking to either

980
01:10:28.400 --> 01:10:34.120
one of his girls a whole lot. And not long after, I don't know

981
01:10:34.120 --> 01:10:37.600
how far into dating we were in our relationship, but his

982
01:10:37.600 --> 01:10:40.960
oldest daughter actually, like, said she didn't want to even

983
01:10:40.960 --> 01:10:43.480
have a relationship with him at all, and like, totally cut him

984
01:10:43.480 --> 01:10:48.320
out. And I want you to know that did not impact my view of Brian

985
01:10:48.360 --> 01:10:51.720
at all, because I was already getting to know Brian, and he

986
01:10:51.720 --> 01:10:55.800
was a trustworthy person. He was a healthy man. And I saw the

987
01:10:55.800 --> 01:11:01.960
fruits of the spirit in him. And I just, I know that hurt

988
01:11:01.960 --> 01:11:06.560
people will hurt people, they'll do broken things. Okay. And so

989
01:11:06.560 --> 01:11:09.600
even with our children, we have to remember that sometimes. And

990
01:11:09.600 --> 01:11:14.000
that doesn't always mean it's a reflection of that person, where

991
01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:18.720
they are at in the present day. And a lot of the things that led

992
01:11:18.720 --> 01:11:23.520
her to that place, were actually lies that she was being told by

993
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:30.560
his former spouse. So, you know, just be encouraged that, you

994
01:11:30.560 --> 01:11:34.760
know, God knows your situation. And he knows the spirit mate

995
01:11:34.760 --> 01:11:39.160
that will be the best fit for you to navigate all the dynamics

996
01:11:39.160 --> 01:11:43.920
of everything that have to do to you do with you, including your

997
01:11:43.920 --> 01:11:46.920
trauma and the backstory or things like this.

998
01:11:47.120 --> 01:11:48.320
I'm just gonna tell the rest of this story.

999
01:11:48.320 --> 01:11:50.080
Here, sit up, sit up so they can hear. Yeah.

1000
01:11:50.960 --> 01:11:52.800
No, go ahead. Tell the rest.

1001
01:11:52.880 --> 01:11:56.040
Well, I mean, since probably in the past year and a half, I

1002
01:11:56.040 --> 01:11:56.520
think it is.

1003
01:11:56.520 --> 01:11:57.960
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell that side.

1004
01:11:58.040 --> 01:12:01.720
Yeah, God, just to give hope and encouragement, like God totally

1005
01:12:01.760 --> 01:12:04.440
turned the situation around. And both of my girls have come to

1006
01:12:04.440 --> 01:12:07.880
me. And it actually worked out in a really odd way.

1007
01:12:07.960 --> 01:12:08.800
It's been good.

1008
01:12:09.320 --> 01:12:12.600
After we got divorced, she remarried and

1009
01:12:13.080 --> 01:12:14.920
His ex he's talking about right now.

1010
01:12:14.920 --> 01:12:19.480
So her second husband actually told the girls kind of the truth

1011
01:12:19.640 --> 01:12:22.720
of what was going on, which was kind of an odd situation. But

1012
01:12:22.960 --> 01:12:27.760
they came to me like, Hey, like, I apologize. Like, we want a

1013
01:12:27.760 --> 01:12:30.640
relationship with you. And we didn't know who to believe, but

1014
01:12:30.640 --> 01:12:33.840
it's coming out. So anyway, all I say guys really just kind of

1015
01:12:33.840 --> 01:12:36.600
turn that around. So both my girls, I'm talking and texting

1016
01:12:36.600 --> 01:12:37.240
with them and

1017
01:12:37.640 --> 01:12:40.520
his youngest has stayed with her multiple times. Yeah, God's

1018
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:41.720
doing all kinds of stuff.

1019
01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:42.800
So it's exciting.

1020
01:12:42.800 --> 01:12:44.840
I love that you share that. Yeah, that's that's really

1021
01:12:44.840 --> 01:12:45.240
important.

1022
01:12:45.840 --> 01:12:49.480
Well, it's not over yet. It's still going. But um, yeah, you

1023
01:12:49.480 --> 01:12:52.360
all just keep praying and interceding for your kids. God

1024
01:12:52.360 --> 01:12:55.920
God's work and even when we can't see it. And just remember

1025
01:12:55.920 --> 01:12:58.720
that and same thing when you're pursuing your spirit mate. Okay,

1026
01:12:58.720 --> 01:13:02.560
Alex and Gwen. Hi, would love for you to share for a few

1027
01:13:02.560 --> 01:13:05.400
minutes about some of the challenges you all faced in your

1028
01:13:05.400 --> 01:13:08.120
dating, your dating relationship.

1029
01:13:08.120 --> 01:13:13.480
Yeah, so we were definitely both really intentional about

1030
01:13:13.480 --> 01:13:17.720
having like, those, those conversations about the

1031
01:13:17.720 --> 01:13:21.440
important issues and not all right on the on the first day,

1032
01:13:21.480 --> 01:13:24.280
except for that one story that he shared about the kids

1033
01:13:24.280 --> 01:13:28.480
question. But you know, it was like, a few here a few there

1034
01:13:28.480 --> 01:13:32.240
questions that were more deeper, especially once we became

1035
01:13:32.240 --> 01:13:36.440
official and started to just have a little bit more of a

1036
01:13:36.440 --> 01:13:43.280
deeper conversations. And as we did, it was like, there was

1037
01:13:43.280 --> 01:13:47.560
just areas where we found out that we had differences in like

1038
01:13:47.600 --> 01:13:51.000
differences in upbringing, and just differences in opinion. And

1039
01:13:51.000 --> 01:13:55.640
those differences were very scary to me, at least. Initially,

1040
01:13:55.640 --> 01:13:59.280
like my my knee jerk reaction was to be like, Oh, no, a

1041
01:13:59.280 --> 01:14:03.200
difference that we have means that, you know, maybe we can't

1042
01:14:03.400 --> 01:14:07.880
you know, maybe we can't be together. But being, being in

1043
01:14:07.880 --> 01:14:10.240
Jackie's program at the time, while I was in this

1044
01:14:10.240 --> 01:14:15.080
relationship was really helpful, because I would just, you know,

1045
01:14:15.120 --> 01:14:20.400
hear that, like, it's healthy for people to be their own

1046
01:14:20.400 --> 01:14:23.640
person and not be like the exact same person. Like I, and I was

1047
01:14:23.640 --> 01:14:26.240
like, Yeah, I don't, I don't want to marry myself. I want

1048
01:14:26.240 --> 01:14:30.000
someone who's different than me. And so like, some of those

1049
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:33.280
things were that money, like, we just were like, we had very

1050
01:14:33.280 --> 01:14:37.360
different upbringings, with regard to money, and have kind

1051
01:14:37.360 --> 01:14:41.000
of like different opinions on just really small things about

1052
01:14:41.000 --> 01:14:44.160
like, what would you buy versus what would he buy? And we're

1053
01:14:44.160 --> 01:14:47.800
like, Oh, those are actually pretty different. And so when we

1054
01:14:47.800 --> 01:14:53.040
would come up against those, I feel like we would do our best

1055
01:14:53.040 --> 01:14:57.560
to explain where we were coming from, and both like understand

1056
01:14:57.560 --> 01:14:59.440
where

1057
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.960
other were coming from and he was meeting me like I wasn't sure if I was going to be

1058
01:15:03.960 --> 01:15:09.680
able to have these deep conversations with him or if it would turn into like just you

1059
01:15:09.680 --> 01:15:15.040
know oh well if it was going to be too hard but he was like meeting me with the same level

1060
01:15:15.040 --> 01:15:19.480
of intentionality that I was bringing like we were both like kind of on the same level

1061
01:15:19.480 --> 01:15:24.720
with that and so that was one of the reasons I knew that it was like spirit mate stuff

1062
01:15:24.720 --> 01:15:28.240
that I was like this is this is probably my spirit mate because we were bringing the same

1063
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:32.320
level of intentionality with those so there was there's money and then there was also

1064
01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:37.040
that we came back around to the kids question and found out that like I wanted more than

1065
01:15:37.040 --> 01:15:43.200
he wanted and so we were like hey well I guess we're gonna just trust God when the time comes

1066
01:15:43.200 --> 01:15:47.540
to that and you know not count our chickens before they hatch and not get all wrapped

1067
01:15:47.540 --> 01:15:54.320
around the axle about things that are in the future there was like realizing that he likes

1068
01:15:54.320 --> 01:16:00.880
things super clean and I'm like I can handle things being more messy and I think that those

1069
01:16:00.880 --> 01:16:04.880
could have become major issues but there were so many other more important things we were

1070
01:16:04.880 --> 01:16:10.240
really aligned on like church we had a lot of conversations about church and about what

1071
01:16:10.240 --> 01:16:14.400
we wanted our faith walk to look like as a couple and it was like those things were so

1072
01:16:14.400 --> 01:16:18.560
in line that the places that we were more a little like that we were more different

1073
01:16:18.560 --> 01:16:22.280
it kind of just felt like it would have been really silly to call off the relationship

1074
01:16:22.360 --> 01:16:26.920
for those things and they've and they've turned out now that we've been married for over a year

1075
01:16:26.920 --> 01:16:32.520
now to be really not not major issues there the thing that I think has been harder than

1076
01:16:32.520 --> 01:16:38.200
any of those is uh more about our pets because we don't have kids but we have pets and I'm

1077
01:16:38.200 --> 01:16:42.040
way more of an animal person than Alex and I didn't we didn't even realize we were so

1078
01:16:42.040 --> 01:16:45.880
different about that before until we were like living until we were married and like

1079
01:16:45.880 --> 01:16:49.320
living together every day so it was like the things that we thought were going to be bigger

1080
01:16:49.400 --> 01:16:52.920
issues really have been a lot easier than we thought and there's been other things that

1081
01:16:52.920 --> 01:16:57.160
have come up but we've been able to navigate through them but there was other one other

1082
01:16:57.160 --> 01:17:03.240
kind of challenging thing that I'll let Alex share about um yeah my family wasn't all that

1083
01:17:03.240 --> 01:17:13.240
supportive of the relationship um they uh they aren't exactly Christians um and you know in

1084
01:17:13.240 --> 01:17:18.040
middle school I started going to youth group and stuff and and found Jesus that way but like

1085
01:17:18.040 --> 01:17:25.160
my parents and other family like don't don't really know him um or care for him so that was

1086
01:17:25.160 --> 01:17:31.160
hard when it was like they give me awful advice like all the time it's like oh you should move

1087
01:17:31.160 --> 01:17:36.360
in with her you know you should do this you know why don't you do that and I'm like this is all

1088
01:17:36.360 --> 01:17:44.360
awful advice and you're my parents like what is going on here um and you know I was thankful for

1089
01:17:44.360 --> 01:17:49.080
like all the time in youth group and all you know friends and you know all the people who are

1090
01:17:50.120 --> 01:17:57.640
you know gave me good advice throughout the years you know in time of like preparation

1091
01:17:57.640 --> 01:18:04.760
preparation so wow this is awful preparation um so to speak was like I was get advice on how like

1092
01:18:04.760 --> 01:18:10.200
relationships worked and stuff and you know talk to my pastor my youth pastor a lot about it so it

1093
01:18:10.200 --> 01:18:18.280
was like you know I was preparing somewhat for it so that I could identify red flags and and see

1094
01:18:18.280 --> 01:18:24.360
stuff like that when we did start getting to know each other better but it was really hard when like

1095
01:18:24.360 --> 01:18:32.680
my my own family weren't supportive of it either and were giving awful advice so that was kind of

1096
01:18:32.680 --> 01:18:38.920
hard to go through but you know we're able to to get through it yeah the fact that he stood up to

1097
01:18:38.920 --> 01:18:42.520
them though and said you know like no we're not going to move in together and yes we are going to

1098
01:18:42.520 --> 01:18:47.080
get married even though that they thought it was really fast for us to get married we like it was

1099
01:18:47.080 --> 01:18:51.880
about a year after we met that we got engaged and we were engaged for like six months so like you

1100
01:18:51.880 --> 01:18:55.000
know a year and a half of knowing each other and we got married and they thought that was really

1101
01:18:55.000 --> 01:19:00.760
fast so um it was but the fact that he was um willing to like tell them like no we are going

1102
01:19:00.760 --> 01:19:06.280
to get married and like I appreciate your care for me but I have a different opinion on that um like

1103
01:19:06.280 --> 01:19:11.160
spoke volumes to me that it was like okay he really cares about us and our relationship

1104
01:19:11.880 --> 01:19:17.800
and then now like kind of the the end of the story right is like they they're very supportive of us

1105
01:19:17.800 --> 01:19:22.760
now they were like okay he's gonna marry her so like they they don't hold it against me now and

1106
01:19:22.760 --> 01:19:27.960
we have a good relationship but then they don't know Jesus yet but we uh we hope they will someday

1107
01:19:27.960 --> 01:19:34.040
yeah key word yet I love it you all thanks for sharing that Alex thanks I know sometimes it can

1108
01:19:34.040 --> 01:19:39.400
be tricky because we don't ever want to like make someone look bad but like I think God can

1109
01:19:39.400 --> 01:19:48.200
use all situations and I love how God showed Gwen how good of a man you were um to say like hey mom

1110
01:19:48.200 --> 01:19:52.840
and dad I'm I'm not gonna listen to you and this is someone I think you know I'm kind of putting

1111
01:19:52.840 --> 01:19:57.160
words in your mouth but God brought her into your life and you knew that and you held on to that

1112
01:19:57.160 --> 01:19:59.800
and that's really awesome and uh I

1113
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.520
I love that y'all, you know, just continue to press through the things that you were concerned about.

1114
01:20:04.920 --> 01:20:09.280
Um, one of the things I was thinking, if we can do a really quick round, say short,

1115
01:20:09.280 --> 01:20:12.520
brief and powerful, I want to hear from every person.

1116
01:20:13.080 --> 01:20:14.560
And I'll start with Anna and Ryan first.

1117
01:20:14.560 --> 01:20:15.760
I'll kind of go in the same order.

1118
01:20:16.960 --> 01:20:24.440
One tip that you would give every person on here, like something that really helped you

1119
01:20:24.440 --> 01:20:28.320
in your process, whether it was when you were single and preparing to get married or

1120
01:20:28.360 --> 01:20:33.200
even, you know, early on in your marriage, like what's a piece of advice and not

1121
01:20:33.200 --> 01:20:35.360
necessarily advice advice, but you don't understand what I'm saying.

1122
01:20:35.360 --> 01:20:36.880
Something that you think will help them.

1123
01:20:39.000 --> 01:20:42.240
Yeah, I actually knew exactly what I wanted to say.

1124
01:20:42.760 --> 01:20:50.080
So something that I learned from Jackie was that God is your defender, right?

1125
01:20:50.560 --> 01:20:56.280
I mean, I was rendered Christian, but I had that trauma experience getting married to a

1126
01:20:56.480 --> 01:20:56.880
con artist.

1127
01:20:56.880 --> 01:20:59.520
So I thought to myself, well, he's not my defender.

1128
01:20:59.520 --> 01:21:05.520
He let he, which I have since had revelations about why God permitted that.

1129
01:21:05.760 --> 01:21:10.200
And there actually was an intentional loving purpose that God used in the whole

1130
01:21:10.200 --> 01:21:10.600
thing.

1131
01:21:11.080 --> 01:21:17.120
But ultimately I had to start believing that God was my defender to even get online to

1132
01:21:17.120 --> 01:21:20.600
date, because that was one of the visceral reactions I had with to Jackie and I was

1133
01:21:20.600 --> 01:21:21.440
ready to dip out.

1134
01:21:21.440 --> 01:21:28.080
And, but the cool thing that God is showing me is he ladies, I don't know, guys,

1135
01:21:28.080 --> 01:21:32.160
gentlemen, I don't know if you feel this way because men and women are different, but

1136
01:21:32.160 --> 01:21:38.720
sometimes women can feel like, I don't know, like it's for me anyway, I've always felt

1137
01:21:38.720 --> 01:21:41.160
like men have had an upper hand over me.

1138
01:21:41.400 --> 01:21:48.200
And so a lot of times when Ryan and I maybe aren't agreeing on something or maybe we're

1139
01:21:48.200 --> 01:21:52.800
having an argument or whatever the case may be, I often feel this, like, I got to

1140
01:21:52.800 --> 01:21:53.480
defend myself.

1141
01:21:53.520 --> 01:21:54.760
I got to argue my case.

1142
01:21:54.800 --> 01:21:59.120
I got, and God's always showing me, Anna, I was your defender in dating.

1143
01:21:59.200 --> 01:22:05.320
I'm still your defender in marriage and meaning that Ryan's wrong or he's bad, but

1144
01:22:05.320 --> 01:22:12.160
that God will say, let me work on him to bring you two together, to have the right

1145
01:22:12.160 --> 01:22:14.080
timing and the right conversation.

1146
01:22:14.440 --> 01:22:19.280
And with that, the other thing that I think we both have learned and practice is that

1147
01:22:19.280 --> 01:22:23.440
whenever we aren't seeing eye to eye, because that devil is going to try to tear apart

1148
01:22:23.440 --> 01:22:25.040
what God puts together, right?

1149
01:22:26.440 --> 01:22:32.280
Instead of trying to duke it out with each other, we always have to say, first, we

1150
01:22:32.280 --> 01:22:37.000
individually need to go to God and ask God, what am I missing?

1151
01:22:37.600 --> 01:22:38.760
What am I missing?

1152
01:22:38.800 --> 01:22:43.040
Because usually we're not thinking about that we're missing something.

1153
01:22:43.040 --> 01:22:45.520
We're thinking the other person doesn't see something or doesn't.

1154
01:22:45.520 --> 01:22:47.720
And so a lot of times we ask God, what am I missing?

1155
01:22:47.720 --> 01:22:51.800
And then when we come together, it's like, God showed me what I was missing.

1156
01:22:51.920 --> 01:22:53.840
God showed Ryan what he was missing.

1157
01:22:53.960 --> 01:22:54.960
We come together.

1158
01:22:54.960 --> 01:22:58.480
And it's like, that is how God is coaching us through marriage.

1159
01:22:58.680 --> 01:23:01.440
Just like God coached me with Jackie through dating.

1160
01:23:01.600 --> 01:23:05.120
He's still coaching me through marriage and defending me in that way.

1161
01:23:05.160 --> 01:23:06.960
So that was so good.

1162
01:23:07.200 --> 01:23:08.160
Ryan, how about you?

1163
01:23:09.200 --> 01:23:12.520
Um, well, Anna, you, you mentioned God was, is your defender.

1164
01:23:12.520 --> 01:23:14.920
Um, he's also our matchmaker.

1165
01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:21.040
Um, and so, you know, like we had, um, certain parameters and things like that.

1166
01:23:21.040 --> 01:23:25.080
And it was for me, I'm going to, I'm going to hold firm to what I had said earlier

1167
01:23:25.080 --> 01:23:30.880
about just relinquishing that control to God and, and be in prayer about it the

1168
01:23:30.880 --> 01:23:39.440
entire time, and I seemed, Anna will, will, um, attest to this, that I seem to be ahead

1169
01:23:39.440 --> 01:23:45.400
of her a few steps throughout the entire process that God kind of was sharing things

1170
01:23:45.400 --> 01:23:48.720
to me before he would share them to her.

1171
01:23:48.720 --> 01:23:54.920
And so just, just seek God in prayer about, about every aspect, um, just

1172
01:23:55.240 --> 01:23:59.560
for clarity, for, um, you know, understanding.

1173
01:23:59.960 --> 01:24:04.280
Um, you know, when Anna mentioned, when I went through her situation with, with her

1174
01:24:04.280 --> 01:24:07.800
leg, that was, that was a big deal for me as well.

1175
01:24:07.800 --> 01:24:14.760
And, uh, you know, God, God shared with me that, you know, I heard, I've heard his

1176
01:24:14.760 --> 01:24:20.120
audible voice tell me, um, that she's healed, you know, and not that she's going

1177
01:24:20.120 --> 01:24:21.760
to be that, but that she is.

1178
01:24:22.120 --> 01:24:28.960
Um, and so he just, he was really my, my, the author of our story.

1179
01:24:29.240 --> 01:24:33.320
Um, he was with us the entire time and he's still with us.

1180
01:24:33.360 --> 01:24:33.760
Yeah.

1181
01:24:34.840 --> 01:24:35.680
Oh, good.

1182
01:24:35.680 --> 01:24:37.400
Thank you both for sharing.

1183
01:24:37.720 --> 01:24:43.320
Bobby and Jeannie, uh, what, what kind of, uh, thought or inspiration or something to

1184
01:24:43.320 --> 01:24:46.640
share with our, with our, uh, community here tonight?

1185
01:24:47.640 --> 01:24:52.040
Um, for me, it was, um, um, all the, what is it called?

1186
01:24:52.120 --> 01:24:59.040
Um, myth busters, like all the good guys are taken and all this stuff I've forgotten.

1187
01:24:59.080 --> 01:24:59.920
I used to say.

1188
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.120
because it's not true.

1189
01:25:02.120 --> 01:25:05.240
I mean, that's really, that was hard to,

1190
01:25:05.240 --> 01:25:08.000
like Anne and Ryan are saying,

1191
01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:10.520
like pretty much just get out of the way

1192
01:25:10.520 --> 01:25:13.880
and let God take the wheel, take over,

1193
01:25:13.880 --> 01:25:18.040
that, you know, he is the good picker, I'm not.

1194
01:25:18.040 --> 01:25:20.120
I was a very bad picker.

1195
01:25:21.000 --> 01:25:25.000
So basically that, I would say that.

1196
01:25:25.000 --> 01:25:28.200
I would say one thing, bit of advice would be

1197
01:25:28.200 --> 01:25:30.560
to realize that demons are real

1198
01:25:31.640 --> 01:25:34.880
and they will attack you.

1199
01:25:34.880 --> 01:25:38.320
They don't want happy marriages.

1200
01:25:38.320 --> 01:25:41.640
They want to seek, kill and destroy.

1201
01:25:41.640 --> 01:25:46.040
And we have to constantly battle them all the time.

1202
01:25:46.040 --> 01:25:50.120
And we, like I have a men's group

1203
01:25:50.120 --> 01:25:51.760
and she has a women's group

1204
01:25:51.760 --> 01:25:54.960
and we pray for each other all the time.

1205
01:25:54.960 --> 01:25:59.080
And I think that's a huge benefit.

1206
01:25:59.080 --> 01:26:02.520
And we pray every morning before we get out of bed.

1207
01:26:02.520 --> 01:26:07.520
We have prayer habits and we make time to talk with,

1208
01:26:08.680 --> 01:26:12.560
you know, our friends that we can't share with each other.

1209
01:26:12.560 --> 01:26:14.480
We hurt feelings or whatever.

1210
01:26:14.480 --> 01:26:18.360
We get, we just have healthy boundaries now

1211
01:26:18.360 --> 01:26:20.920
and it goes a long way.

1212
01:26:21.800 --> 01:26:23.200
We've had a lot of practice.

1213
01:26:24.200 --> 01:26:27.240
Yes, we get practice every day, right?

1214
01:26:27.240 --> 01:26:28.080
Yes.

1215
01:26:30.160 --> 01:26:32.080
And I love, I feel like just so y'all

1216
01:26:32.080 --> 01:26:34.480
are hearing this tonight too, community.

1217
01:26:34.480 --> 01:26:38.000
I mean, we talk about that a lot in this community

1218
01:26:38.920 --> 01:26:40.240
because we believe in it,

1219
01:26:40.240 --> 01:26:43.240
but I want y'all to hear how much community

1220
01:26:43.240 --> 01:26:45.760
has played an important role

1221
01:26:45.760 --> 01:26:48.960
in so many aspects of people's lives that are here

1222
01:26:48.960 --> 01:26:51.360
sharing their stories with you tonight.

1223
01:26:51.360 --> 01:26:54.640
And I, that's my new favorite phrase.

1224
01:26:55.920 --> 01:26:57.520
Is it Jeannie or is it Jeannie?

1225
01:26:57.520 --> 01:27:00.000
Was I saying your name wrong the whole time?

1226
01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:02.200
It's Jeannie, like Jeannie.

1227
01:27:02.200 --> 01:27:03.280
Okay, okay, cool.

1228
01:27:04.640 --> 01:27:07.760
I love when you said that God is a myth buster,

1229
01:27:07.760 --> 01:27:09.680
just like the myth busters the show.

1230
01:27:09.680 --> 01:27:11.080
I'm not gonna forget that.

1231
01:27:11.080 --> 01:27:12.400
He is a myth buster.

1232
01:27:12.400 --> 01:27:15.640
And hey, for all of our ladies out there,

1233
01:27:15.640 --> 01:27:17.240
all the good guys aren't taken.

1234
01:27:17.240 --> 01:27:18.560
And for all those guys,

1235
01:27:18.560 --> 01:27:20.000
I don't know if you all struggle with that,

1236
01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:21.440
but I know our ladies do,

1237
01:27:21.440 --> 01:27:23.360
but there are plenty of amazing ladies

1238
01:27:23.360 --> 01:27:25.480
and God will lead you to the spirit mate

1239
01:27:25.480 --> 01:27:26.960
that is right for you.

1240
01:27:26.960 --> 01:27:27.800
Go ahead.

1241
01:27:30.400 --> 01:27:34.400
Like I, you know, he thought of a better man for me

1242
01:27:34.400 --> 01:27:36.200
cause Bobby wasn't even like

1243
01:27:36.200 --> 01:27:38.240
what I thought would be my type.

1244
01:27:38.240 --> 01:27:41.280
You know, like I never dated anybody with a beard

1245
01:27:41.280 --> 01:27:44.360
and you know, just like crazy stuff like that.

1246
01:27:44.360 --> 01:27:46.640
It's like I had to really get out of my way

1247
01:27:46.640 --> 01:27:49.080
and God showed up in a big way.

1248
01:27:49.120 --> 01:27:50.200
So.

1249
01:27:50.200 --> 01:27:51.080
I love that.

1250
01:27:51.080 --> 01:27:51.920
That's right.

1251
01:27:51.920 --> 01:27:54.080
These are all the things ladies, even Jackie,

1252
01:27:54.080 --> 01:27:55.920
if y'all haven't watched her Instagram

1253
01:27:55.920 --> 01:27:58.600
and she's been putting out some fire content,

1254
01:27:58.600 --> 01:27:59.720
I'm telling you what.

1255
01:27:59.720 --> 01:28:02.040
And there was one on there from a couple of days ago.

1256
01:28:02.040 --> 01:28:04.160
I mean, she's just speaking truth.

1257
01:28:04.160 --> 01:28:06.000
And so I encourage y'all to check it out there,

1258
01:28:06.000 --> 01:28:08.040
but she kind of gets right to the core

1259
01:28:08.040 --> 01:28:10.400
of something that Jeannie just said there.

1260
01:28:10.400 --> 01:28:12.520
You know, some people are getting hung up on,

1261
01:28:12.520 --> 01:28:15.720
you know, how much hair someone has or how tall they are

1262
01:28:15.720 --> 01:28:18.240
or what, and you're missing spirit mates.

1263
01:28:18.240 --> 01:28:21.000
So y'all definitely go check those out.

1264
01:28:21.000 --> 01:28:23.360
Alex and Gwen would love to hear

1265
01:28:23.360 --> 01:28:25.280
kind of a little bit from you all,

1266
01:28:25.280 --> 01:28:28.720
just kind of a thought from your hearts.

1267
01:28:28.720 --> 01:28:30.240
Like, what do you think is something

1268
01:28:30.240 --> 01:28:32.280
that could help those in our community

1269
01:28:32.280 --> 01:28:33.600
where they're at on their journey

1270
01:28:33.600 --> 01:28:36.180
or even, you know, after they get married?

1271
01:28:38.080 --> 01:28:41.200
Yeah, mine is definitely gotta be that

1272
01:28:43.440 --> 01:28:47.680
God wants you to be married as much as you want it.

1273
01:28:48.440 --> 01:28:50.000
When I started to believe that,

1274
01:28:50.000 --> 01:28:52.000
that's when things really turned around for me

1275
01:28:52.000 --> 01:28:55.680
because I lived with a constant guilt of like,

1276
01:28:55.680 --> 01:28:59.360
maybe God is calling me to this life of singleness

1277
01:28:59.360 --> 01:29:02.960
and I should want that and I should be happy about that.

1278
01:29:02.960 --> 01:29:05.320
And I shouldn't want something for myself

1279
01:29:05.320 --> 01:29:07.080
that God doesn't want for me,

1280
01:29:07.080 --> 01:29:09.360
thinking that maybe he didn't want me to be married.

1281
01:29:09.360 --> 01:29:10.960
And when I realized that like, okay,

1282
01:29:10.960 --> 01:29:13.840
I have a desire to be married and that came from God

1283
01:29:13.840 --> 01:29:17.560
and he's ready to fulfill it and he has a love story for me.

1284
01:29:18.400 --> 01:29:20.040
And me finding my spouse is something that's inevitable.

1285
01:29:20.040 --> 01:29:23.800
And I did have to surrender the pen of timing to him

1286
01:29:23.800 --> 01:29:25.840
of like, when it's gonna happen.

1287
01:29:25.840 --> 01:29:29.400
But when I started believing that he had a spirit mate

1288
01:29:29.400 --> 01:29:31.680
for me and that he wanted me to be married,

1289
01:29:31.680 --> 01:29:36.180
then it was what enabled me to just,

1290
01:29:36.180 --> 01:29:37.560
I mean, I don't know how to say other than

1291
01:29:37.560 --> 01:29:39.120
it completely changed the game for me.

1292
01:29:39.120 --> 01:29:41.940
So I just want everybody to know that,

1293
01:29:41.940 --> 01:29:45.080
that if you have that desire thing, like God's ready

1294
01:29:45.080 --> 01:29:47.960
and you might still have some hard work to do for sure,

1295
01:29:47.960 --> 01:29:50.800
but like it's coming.

1296
01:29:50.800 --> 01:29:52.320
Yeah.

1297
01:29:52.320 --> 01:29:53.160
I love that.

1298
01:29:54.360 --> 01:29:56.960
It's probably just like be real,

1299
01:29:56.960 --> 01:29:59.800
be yourself and to just be with God.

1300
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:09.000
How I've taken it through this whole time is, you know, be yourself and be with God

1301
01:30:09.000 --> 01:30:14.040
as if you're being with God, then he'll lead you to the right spots.

1302
01:30:14.040 --> 01:30:21.240
He'll take you to the right people or the right person and lead you to the right decisions

1303
01:30:21.240 --> 01:30:22.960
if you're with him.

1304
01:30:22.960 --> 01:30:24.680
And you don't need to be afraid of that.

1305
01:30:24.680 --> 01:30:32.760
I feel like, just don't be ashamed of bringing more of God into your life and into your relationship.

1306
01:30:32.760 --> 01:30:37.880
Like that's a lot of what we did was we'd like pray together and read the Bible together

1307
01:30:37.880 --> 01:30:38.880
a lot.

1308
01:30:38.880 --> 01:30:42.280
So I was like, I felt like that was really good for our relationship to see more of each

1309
01:30:42.280 --> 01:30:44.040
other that way.

1310
01:30:44.040 --> 01:30:45.480
And we still do that.

1311
01:30:45.480 --> 01:30:47.520
So it's a really good thing to do.

1312
01:30:47.520 --> 01:30:49.300
I love that.

1313
01:30:49.300 --> 01:30:52.360
If you think of one that you want to share, I know we've shared before, but I have one

1314
01:30:52.360 --> 01:30:56.200
that's fresh that I want to share tonight.

1315
01:30:56.200 --> 01:31:03.840
One of the things that I think is, I'm learning, still learning, that is so important is being

1316
01:31:03.840 --> 01:31:08.280
open-minded about someone else's opinion about something.

1317
01:31:08.280 --> 01:31:13.840
So for those of you that don't know, I shared on a prayer call, I don't know, a week or

1318
01:31:13.840 --> 01:31:16.680
two ago, but Brian and I are taking steps.

1319
01:31:16.680 --> 01:31:18.120
We're doing, we're taking several steps.

1320
01:31:18.120 --> 01:31:22.200
We're praying and believing for a bio baby still, but we are looking into potentially

1321
01:31:22.200 --> 01:31:24.600
fostering to adopt or just adopting outright.

1322
01:31:24.600 --> 01:31:27.160
And so we're just taking some steps.

1323
01:31:27.160 --> 01:31:32.920
And that led, we went to a meeting the other night for that, an intro meeting, and it sparked

1324
01:31:32.920 --> 01:31:38.400
some conversation about if we did foster to adopt or even adopt, you know, some things

1325
01:31:38.400 --> 01:31:40.920
that we needed to talk about.

1326
01:31:40.920 --> 01:31:46.780
And you know, there's those moments where like you realize someone may have a totally

1327
01:31:46.780 --> 01:31:52.300
different opinion than you, but it doesn't make them wrong, you know?

1328
01:31:52.300 --> 01:31:57.060
And if we're open-minded and open-hearted about where they're coming from, and we really

1329
01:31:57.060 --> 01:32:01.540
listen with God's heart, at least again, this is, this is from my perspective.

1330
01:32:01.540 --> 01:32:05.740
I feel like I learned, I feel like I matured a little bit more in this last week because

1331
01:32:05.740 --> 01:32:14.060
of this, like just not casting that opinion aside so quickly.

1332
01:32:14.060 --> 01:32:16.900
Does that make sense, what I'm saying?

1333
01:32:16.900 --> 01:32:19.740
So that's something God taught me recently.

1334
01:32:19.740 --> 01:32:23.140
It's not like I didn't know it before, but I feel like I had more practice in it in the

1335
01:32:23.140 --> 01:32:24.140
last week.

1336
01:32:24.140 --> 01:32:26.460
Do you have anything that comes to mind?

1337
01:32:26.460 --> 01:32:27.460
Yeah.

1338
01:32:27.460 --> 01:32:31.300
I think echoing what many of you said too, like don't limit yourselves.

1339
01:32:31.300 --> 01:32:37.120
Don't put a closed boundary with all these expectations, especially geographically.

1340
01:32:37.120 --> 01:32:45.320
If you could spend two years in a long distance relationship and have a healthy, happy marriage

1341
01:32:45.320 --> 01:32:49.000
for the rest of your life, it's worth it.

1342
01:32:49.000 --> 01:32:51.520
I mean, we're, I never expected to be in Florida.

1343
01:32:51.520 --> 01:32:55.960
I mean, that, that was kind of a hop around, but like I'm living my best life now.

1344
01:32:55.960 --> 01:33:00.920
And you know, 10 years ago when life was difficult, I never would have imagined where I would

1345
01:33:00.920 --> 01:33:03.200
be today.

1346
01:33:03.200 --> 01:33:09.720
So when you limit yourselves, you're also, I don't know, just kind of throwing away possible

1347
01:33:09.720 --> 01:33:11.360
opportunities potentially.

1348
01:33:11.360 --> 01:33:16.840
So be open to what God's doing and distance and all those kinds of things.

1349
01:33:16.840 --> 01:33:19.640
You never know what God could do.

1350
01:33:19.640 --> 01:33:20.640
And you know what?

1351
01:33:20.640 --> 01:33:24.240
Follow the Holy Spirit because he's really good at what he does.

1352
01:33:24.240 --> 01:33:25.240
All right.

1353
01:33:25.240 --> 01:33:29.720
Cause hey, you all, I had, this is what I'm going to share and then we're going to close

1354
01:33:29.720 --> 01:33:31.600
the last thing.

1355
01:33:31.600 --> 01:33:35.920
For those that haven't heard this part of my story, I set the distance at a certain

1356
01:33:35.920 --> 01:33:36.920
amount.

1357
01:33:36.920 --> 01:33:37.920
I think it was like two hours.

1358
01:33:37.920 --> 01:33:43.000
That's as far as I was willing to go because my girls, my spiritual daughters are in Lexington,

1359
01:33:43.000 --> 01:33:44.000
Kentucky.

1360
01:33:44.000 --> 01:33:47.880
And God nudged me just to, just to move that up a little bit.

1361
01:33:47.880 --> 01:33:52.360
And I bumped it, ended up bumping it up to, I think it was like three and a half or something

1362
01:33:52.360 --> 01:33:53.880
or four.

1363
01:33:53.880 --> 01:33:59.160
And literally the next day is when Brian messaged me and the Holy Spirit was the one that spoke

1364
01:33:59.160 --> 01:34:00.240
to me to do that.

1365
01:34:00.240 --> 01:34:02.200
And I knew it was him.

1366
01:34:02.200 --> 01:34:04.400
And I'm so glad that I listened to that.

1367
01:34:04.400 --> 01:34:07.960
I believe God could have worked it out either way, but just, I'm super grateful.

1368
01:34:07.960 --> 01:34:13.520
And so the Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are intimately involved in your journey

1369
01:34:13.520 --> 01:34:17.640
if you let them be and they love you and they're working on your behalf.

1370
01:34:17.640 --> 01:34:20.560
We're so glad that you joined us tonight to all of our couples.

1371
01:34:20.560 --> 01:34:21.560
Thank you.

1372
01:34:21.560 --> 01:34:22.840
You did an amazing job.

1373
01:34:22.840 --> 01:34:25.440
We are so appreciative and I've enjoyed this.

1374
01:34:25.440 --> 01:34:31.200
I do want to say all three of these couples did Symbus with our community.

1375
01:34:31.200 --> 01:34:35.600
And from what I heard, I know they did two of them, two of the couples did it with us.

1376
01:34:35.600 --> 01:34:40.320
I know the other did it with Jackie, but heard great things from all of them.

1377
01:34:40.320 --> 01:34:44.160
And that's not just because Brian and I led the group for some of them, but just y'all,

1378
01:34:44.160 --> 01:34:45.720
it's worth it.

1379
01:34:45.720 --> 01:34:50.480
If you're in a really exclusive, happy relationship that that's looking like it's going to go

1380
01:34:50.480 --> 01:34:55.400
towards engagement, or y'all are even considering, you know, talking about those things, highly

1381
01:34:55.400 --> 01:35:00.040
recommend that you reach out to admin at JackieDorman.com about our Symbus program.

1382
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.120
program and let us walk on that journey with you.

1383
01:35:04.120 --> 01:35:06.400
And you'll meet a lot of other great couples too.

1384
01:35:06.400 --> 01:35:08.760
And that's a really awesome thing to start,

1385
01:35:08.760 --> 01:35:12.000
even that kind of journey where you start finding friends

1386
01:35:12.000 --> 01:35:13.100
that are couples.

1387
01:35:13.100 --> 01:35:15.280
And so thanks again for being here tonight.

1388
01:35:15.280 --> 01:35:16.840
Everybody have a great night.

1389
01:35:16.840 --> 01:35:19.040
May the fourth be with you.

1390
01:35:19.040 --> 01:35:20.080
Bye everyone.