Hello. Welcome everyone. Bethany Cooper and Brian Cooper here.
Hello.
We're excited to do Love Stories again. This is becoming like one of my favorite things.
I hope those in the community are being blessed through the stories of those that have been a part of our community
and hearing how their love stories came together, unfolded, the obstacles some of them faced
or we're going to call them challenges because praise the Lord, God helps us overcome all of those things
if we continue to be faithful to each other and with the Lord.
And we're going to talk about some fun experiences and things that have happened in their lives as well.
And so I'm very excited to announce our three couples this evening.
I put them in the post today, but just so that y'all can meet them now tonight.
So our, let's see, our couple that's been married the longest is Bobby and Jeannie Goss.
Am I saying your last name right or is it Gaze?
Goss.
Oh, we can't hear you.
I can only breathe. They said Goss.
Goss, yeah. G-A-S-S.
Try again so we know if we can hear you.
Goss.
Okay, while they're working on that, we're going to keep going.
Let's see, so they have been married.
I was going to say this, they just celebrated their third wedding anniversary on April 22nd.
So happy third anniversary, but they've been together for four years.
And then Gwen and Alex, is it Rutov?
Did I get it? Awesome.
They just celebrated their first anniversary on February 10th.
Brian and I, well, we're about three and a half.
September 4th will be how many years?
We'll see, three years.
Three years.
Y'all, it's so funny.
I can't remember.
And then Anna and Ryan, I know it was a test.
Our newlyweds tonight.
So excited.
They just got married December 21st, 2024.
And so it's just going to be a lot of fun to hear the different stories.
And then Jeannie and Bobby, if you have trouble, sometimes if you go out and come back in.
So if you need to do that, it's totally fine.
But we are going to go ahead and get started.
And if you've never been on a love story before, the way we do this is I kind of, we call it round robin a little bit.
Or at least that's what I've called it.
Where I'm going to have each couple share.
And in the couple, each individual will share from their perspective, like what did God do in your lives to prepare you to receive the person that you are now married to in this community?
We call them spirit mates.
And in that, you know, if you are a part of the program, share that.
If you were not, you can share whatever God led you to do to prepare your heart and heal.
If you were a part of the community at any time, even including Simbas, like how did not only Jackie's personal coaching help you, but the coaching within the community and all of those things as a part of your story as you're sharing tonight.
And so Jeannie and Bobby, it looks like they did have to sign off and they'll come back.
So I'm going to actually start with Anna and Ryan.
And if you all can share a little bit of your story, how God brought the two of you together and whoever out of the two of you wants to go first is totally fine.
He's deferring to you, Anna.
Hey guys, and I first just want to apologize.
Warfare has been crazy leading up to tonight.
So we know that God has something special going on for us and for you.
I'm losing my voice, so please bear with me.
Those of you that know me know I don't sound like I smoke a pack a day.
But yeah, so I was part of the ministry or the business tree as Jackie likes to call it since February of 2022.
And this program was instrumental for me to heal from past traumas.
I had gone through some significant traumas.
I shared very openly on many prayer calls.
And a lot of you know that I was married to a career con artist for four years.
And that was absolutely traumatizing for me.
So I spent seven years completely single, meaning not even go on a single date.
I mean, I was just terrified to trust.
And coming to this program was a huge step for me.
But I worked it.
I worked it like nobody's business.
I'm hoping that those of you that know me or remember me know that I was on every call, every prayer thing, every activation.
And it really helped me to heal.
But it also helped me to confront my fears.
me to confront, um, lies, so many lies that were born out of the trauma that I
had no idea I internalized and, um, and I just step by step started to grow
through the process and all of that ultimately led me to when I was able to
finally meet Ryan and to be able to recognize him as a healthy person who I
guarantee you as amazing as my husband is before I healed, I wouldn't have been
attracted to him, not just meaning, I mean, like as a whole, because I wasn't
healthy to want healthy. I was always attracting unhealthy and attracted to
that. So I had to work this program, the heart work and every aspect of
community in order to get ready. So I don't know if you want to see, he was
not part of 1822, but he did his own things with Jesus. And I don't know if
you want to share a little,
um, yeah, um, bear with me. I'm not as well of a communicator is Anna even
with her voice. Um, but yeah, I was married for, um, almost 20 years. Um,
went through a long drawn out divorce. Um, after that, I went on a series of
what I consider train wrecks. Um, and so I to kind of had to go through a
therapeutic session where I swore off dating. Um, it was kind of in the midst
of that where I just kind of relinquished everything to God and, and,
uh, said that, um, I had to give up my control of, um, who I, who I thought my
criteria was, what my characteristics, I mean, I still have taste and things like
that, but, um, but basically it was, uh, God, you have a future for me. You have
a plan and I'm no longer going to be in the driver's seat that I wanted you to
take over. And I heard, um, I woke up one night and in the middle of the night
and just kept hearing the phrase for his namesake. Um, and that led me to Psalms
23. Um, and that was immediately after I'd surrendered that to him. And that
just kind of, um, led to, um, meeting Anna in a roundabout way, but, um, but
yeah, that's, that's kind of, I was not part of the heart work or Jackie's
program, but we did, um, after we were serious about dating, we went through
Simba's together and, um, and you guys actually taught us and had a, had a
great, um, had a great time. Learned a lot.
Yeah, actually it's interesting. So two couples on tonight have been through
Simba's when Brian and I coached, uh, Jackie and David also coached, but there
have been several that we've done. So that's kind of fun as well. Thank you
both. And, and Ryan, I think you did a great job at communicating just so you
know. Um, and so can you all tell everyone, I don't know if I missed it.
How did you actually meet?
Okay. Sorry, you didn't miss it. So there was a girl in our group, in our, in
Jackie's ministry. And I don't know if she's on tonight, but, um, Crystal
Giddens and Crystal lived, I used to live in Orlando. I obviously moved to
get married. I'm now in Alabama, but when I lived in Orlando and we were
just starting single city and single nation and all the things, um, I was
asked to temporarily for a little bit, start up the Orlando, uh, mod. I was a
moderator for single city Orlando. And I organized a movie night to go see, I
think it was like a chosen movie and Crystal came out and we met and became
friends. And so eventually, um, Crystal sent me this request on Facebook and it
was like, join such and such a Bible study. And I'm like, what? But I just
was like, okay, cool. I'm all for it. Bible study. Great. Join this Bible study.
It was a zoom Bible study. And it probably wasn't as large as this group,
but it had a really big following of people and I was enjoying it. And at a
certain point, the teacher, Ryan knows all about this, but the teacher of this
group, like kind of was interested in me and wanted to go out. And I actually
was interested in him at the time. And so he lived in Tampa. We were about two
hours away. We met up once or twice. Um, he was not my spirit mate and I, I'm so
thankful for Jackie's program because I was able to learn some, some things,
some red flags that I would not have noticed before and was able to realize
pretty quickly, like this is not my person. And I, I would, what, what
normally would have been me just going into a long and healthy relationship, I
was able to nip in the bud very quickly. Um, but it was interesting that God uses
everything. And that person who led that online, um, Bible study was also a
moderator at the time. I don't believe he does it anymore, but he was a
moderator for an online Christian singles group. And he
that you should just, you know, if you're not,
if we're not gonna, you know, date or whatever,
you should just join this.
And I'm like, okay.
So in that, that's how, I never noticed Ryan.
I'm, you can tell I'm the extrovert in the couple.
So I'm posting left and right in this group,
but he's just quietly there.
And one day he actually DMed me.
And it was kind of an interesting DM because
I was a youth director and I was coming back from camp.
I had five hours of sleep on this camp trip
with 50 plus kids.
And I had posted in this group, please pray for my sanity.
By the way, pray for their salvations
for some of them to come to Christ.
And at the end, we did have salvations
and I wanted to give an update to thank everyone.
And it snapped a quick picture of me on the bus.
Meanwhile, in my five hours of sleep delusion,
I have no makeup.
My hair looks crazy.
I mean, I remember after the fact going, what did I do?
That's like social suicide.
If any man is interested in me after this,
he has got to be my husband.
And that was the post that caught his attention
and helped me the rest of the story.
She looked beautiful to me.
Good job, Ryan.
Yeah.
So yeah, like she mentioned,
I was an observer on the group.
It was basically like a Christian community.
It wasn't really like a dating site,
but it was therapeutic for me.
But I just really saw God in her and her love for Christ.
And that was one of the main factors that I was looking for.
You know, I didn't even realize
that she was a youth director in the post,
but I heard, I saw Holy Spirit in her post.
And yeah, so that's what spurred off the communication.
And we kind of, we talked briefly,
kind of like as friends.
She was talking with other people.
I was talking with other people.
I guess maybe a few weeks, a couple of months went by and-
It was about two weeks.
Yeah, and so I just kind of out of convenience,
I chose to stop communication with Anna.
Just out of respect for,
there was a local girl that I had met
and started talking with and just wanted to explore it,
things with her.
And so I guess that didn't take very long.
Maybe about a week and a half later,
started commenting on some of Anna's things.
And she's like, hey, what's going on here?
He's either two-timing this other girl
or it didn't work out really well.
And it was the latter of the two.
God showed me really quickly who that person was.
And so I approached things with Anna
a little more intentional and she noticed it.
You can take over.
Yeah, see what I thought,
ladies, this is so important in the early dating stages.
I thought he rejected me,
but because I had gotten to the point,
I was about a year or two,
a year and a few months into Jackie's ministry.
And I had grown enough to now realize,
when you're rejected, it's not really rejection.
And you don't want to take that personal.
Because we-
There's definite chemistry between us.
But I do remember he was polite and I respected that.
I was like, well, he's being honest.
He's telling me what he's doing.
That's fine.
Later, what I came to realize was he said,
Anna, you were the one I liked better out of the two,
but you were in another state eight hours away.
And that girl was 15 minutes from me.
And at the time, I wasn't really,
I was still not cooperating fully with God.
And he had to show me, your wife is not about convenience.
And that's when he said he became really open
to a long distance courtship.
Simultaneously, he was saying the same things to me as well.
So yeah, I mean, had he,
had I met him too soon and something like that happened,
I would have been wounded, felt rejected and prideful
if he came back and been like, you missed your chance.
And that would have been it.
But because God worked on me
to really keep my hands wide open,
I was able to see it differently.
And when he came back, it wasn't something like,
hey, I want to like date you.
I want to, you know,
I honestly thought we were just going to be friends.
So it kind of wiped the whole expectation out
of where is this going to go
and just allowed us to talk and get to know each other
until the point came a few months later
where we were starting to develop feelings
and knew we needed to meet in person.
Yes.
Man, this is so good.
I love the opening story already.
I'm excited to circle back to you all. I do want to pull out of something they just said
that I think is so important for so many of you. So I hope that you hear this out of what they said.
He really knew God was showing him, well, Anna said it, but I think she was sharing what God
spoke to Ryan, like that his wife was not about convenience. So sometimes y'all, the ones that
are like, if you have to stay local because you have children and a parenting agreement,
that's totally different. But like for both people in the party, if one person is open minded
about moving, if the other person cannot, or even if both people in both, like if both people can
move and both people are open, God can do so much. Is long distance convenient? Absolutely not.
It wasn't convenient for Ryan and I, but it was absolutely worth it. So love that you all shared
even that aspect of your story. We're going to come back to you in just a little bit and we'll
probably ask you to share a little bit about your long distance relationship and how God helped you
creatively. Cause I know you guys did a lot of really cool, creative things to grow your
relationship while you were long distance. So we'd love for you to share on that when I circle back
to you. Okay. All right, Bobby and Jeannie, go ahead. I'm praying to God you can hear me.
All good.
So yeah, Jeannie, Bobby, we live on a boat, so sorry. We have some technical difficulties,
operator errors. So combined, but good to be here. I was in Jackie, I met Jackie while ago,
I was in her first group and I was going through her program, but it was taking longer than 12
months. So I realized I needed more hard work and I went to Israel for a couple of months.
And when I came back, I rejoined it and I've noticed how God had really worked more in my
heart. And he still had a desire for me to find a soulmate and a spiritual mate. And so I had been
married for 25 years. And then of course I thought I was a good picker. Like she says, I was a
horrible picker. And so I said, okay, God, I know, I know what's best for me. And I married a second
person. And so I had, I was going into my, if I was to find someone, it would be a third marriage.
So I was terrified. So yes, I did the work with Jackie and with God, hard work. And she encouraged
us to do different kinds of dating. And one of them was terrifying, which is online dating.
So I was like, oh God, no. And so, and then out of all the online datings, which one, right?
So I, I chose, I just after much prayer, I chose Bumble when it was good Bumble. Now, I guess I hear
it's really horrible, but so I joined Bumble and a little bit, I know that Bobby was in Bumble
and I did a lot of swiping left, a ton of swiping left because, I mean, I think I went as far as
like a hundred mile radius and I still hit zero, you know, because if they, I was very like specific
I needed someone that was looking for marriage and it was a believer. I just did not want to be
like, it just really needed to be more focused and paying attention what the Holy Spirit was
guiding me. And yeah, so Bobby and I connected through Bumble and, and he was 45 minutes away
about, about an hour. So I can say that long distance too, because it was a little bit more
of a challenge, but, but it just so happened that God had been putting all the pieces together
because I had already put this house for sale and, and I, it wasn't like a decision to do it
once I met him, but, but then he, you know, he found me a house near him and it's actually the
same town because it was a cool town. I love it, Tarpon Springs. And we just, we dated for like a
year, but before that I asked him, I told him about Jacqueline Smith's program, which is the 18.2
and he joined in, he was listening and doing some of the work. And then Jacqueline said,
did she try to match me with a few other people, person, men? And Jacqueline said,
yeah, I think I found a really good, really nice guy. And I think he might be in your area. And
I'm like, really? And that, I was amazed.
dating Bobby. And she's like, yeah, his name is, he's really
nice. His name is Bobby Goss. I'm like, really? You don't say?
I told her I was like, we're already dating. And she was
like, Oh, my God, he's great. So that's my version.
I'm Bobby. And I had been married for 11 years, my first
marriage and it didn't end well. We got a divorce and I
became alcoholic. And I got on my knees, I was in the
wilderness. And I got on my knees and begged God to help me
and he sent me to AA. And that's where I met God. For real this
time. And nothing brings willingness like the gift of
desperation, I'd like to say. I worked on it for about eight
years before I met Jeannie. And I was ready. And when I was
ready to meet someone again, I got online and tried to do that
thing. And went through went had a couple of different dates, but
I was like, I had a my sponsor at the time, he said, write a
list of all the qualities you want in a woman and then look
for that. And then then in the mentor me for eight years, too.
And he said, Now, we're going to work on you becoming the guy
that would a woman like that. And that, I guess. And so I did
and I accomplished that goal. And I put my wants and needs
down and truthfully, and I wanted to be married to the
right person. And I wanted a life partner, best friend. And I
got on the dating site, I asked God, it's up to you, make it
happen. And if I'm single for the rest of my life, I'm
content with that. But if you got somebody for me, let me meet
her. And that's how we met. And we got, we went through that. I
went into 1822. And then we got on the marriage in a year
program. And we stuck to it. We were we were dating for exactly
a year. And we got married on the day we met a year later.
It's been, it's been pretty good. We've learned a lot of
some downs, but we're committed to making it work.
Yeah, actually, we are pretty, pretty happily. Yeah. Well, I
say you want to be closer to God and each other get a boat. You
pray. Get on your knees.
You're like, I said something offhand. Like I've always wanted
to live on a boat. And she goes, Really? That sounds cool. Let's
do it.
I was like, what? Really?
He has background in it. He he knows how to work on boats and
stuff. He's a captain now. So
I know we're living every minute of it. And we're glad to be a
part of the program here.
This is so great. So I want to just ask you all a quick
question before we have Alex and Gwen share how they met and what
God was having them work on before they came together. But
as you were sharing, Bobby, if you're willing, you mentioned
that you worked on your sobriety for eight years before you met
Jeannie. And I know, just having grown up in a family that my
father was an alcoholic, how much commitment that takes. But
what I want to point out, one of the things that Jeannie told me
actually this morning, was that before she got rid of her list
before she was surrendered the pen as we talked about in this
community, she actually said that she never wanted to date
someone that had struggled with that at all. And so I just want
to if you all don't mind to share a little bit about that,
like, what was that like a Jeannie for you to surrender the
pen and be open, but also Bobby, the work, you know, and the
commitment that you put in to be prepared in that way, so that
when Jeannie met you, and she would know that there was
something different than what she had experienced in the past.
Does that make sense?
For sure. Okay, I told her about my past on our second date, and
it was our second date with her. And because I will, I want to be
honest as I can be, I don't want to have anything hidden, you
know, and, and that's what the program is all about, too, is
facing everything.
So I just threw my cards on the table and said, I don't blame you if you don't want to stick around,
but this is the facts, you know, and I, and I don't want to string you along. And honesty is
the best policy. Yeah. And, um, excuse me a minute. So from my past, my dad was an alcoholic.
He was a worship leader. I had a lot of church wounds, a lot of father wounds, a lot of abuse.
And in them, I like said, no way I would ever marry anybody that would touch alcohol at all.
But because of the process of hard healing and my, um, with Jacqueline and the whole program,
I had to surrender that because that was, that was not, that's not going to be my story. I mean,
God has better for me. And, and I knew I would pray for my husband to me because I know that
he would be going through a lot. Like he would have, he would, the person that would understand
what I had gone through and be empathetic would, would have had to go through a lot of pain
because I also, I had lost the daughter, my twin sister died of cancer in my arms. And so
I've gone through so much. I knew that God had an amazing man for me. So I was praying for him
and going through the process. I did lay down all my wounds and my, you know, my triggers still
are lightly there and we work on those. But yeah, I mean, like, it's amazing that I was able to,
um, marry someone that I'm no longer, to me, he's a new man in Christ.
You got exactly what you asked.
That's right.
Yeah, exactly. You're right. Yeah. So.
That's so good. And I love how you just said something so key there too. And this is for
everybody, everybody in this room, everybody in the zoom room, everybody that's going to
watch the replay. We all have triggers you all. Okay. So even if you've worked on things for a
really long time, sometimes just out of nowhere, that triggers going to come up and you're going
to be like, Whoa, where did that come from? Why did that bother me so much? You know,
or I thought I had dealt with this. So I just want everyone that's on here to understand
we keep healing as we go. And Jackie talks about that all the time that.
You know, you're going to, if you're hurting relationship, God will use relationship to heal
you. And that might not all happen before the day you get married. Like it's going to happen
continually if we allow it even long after we get married, because different life situations happen,
you know, all different stuff that we encounter, um, you move. I know Jeannie and Bobby,
they're in Florida. And with the last two hurricanes, you know, they went through all
that together and, and then they sold their house and now they live on a boat. Like,
you know, there's all different things. And so just be open minded regarding kind of where you're
at. And what she said as the tail end of that was they still have them, but then they work on them.
They don't allow their triggers to tear apart their relationship. I think that's key too. Um,
and then one of the other things that I wanted to pull out of what Bobby said too,
he said he didn't want to have anything hidden, which is amazing. I love that. And he said,
I put all my cards on the table for those in this community. You know, that we're like,
Hey, you want to try to at level two, you want to keep the conversation lighthearted and you don't
want to like go deep, but situations like this are going to happen. And so I think it's important for
everybody in the community to know you don't have to freak out. If somebody does kind of on
a second date, they just, they're, they're concerned. Like even, you know, we joke Brian
and I've told this story so many times, literally our first date, which this isn't as serious,
but he's like, I like Legos and Marvel. Cause he was so like, kind of worried from his past
that he just wanted that out there. And if I was going to reject him on the first date,
because of that, he wanted to know it then. And so that wasn't like heavy, heavy, heavy,
but I remember that first date he and I, we talked lightly about like prior situations.
Um, and so sometimes that is going to happen, but we always encourage those in the community,
just do your best to redirect it and don't like label that person. Oh, they're just oversharing
all the time. People can be teachable and we can shift and grow even in dating relationships. Okay.
All right. Went Jenny, Bobby and Jeannie. Thank you. Gwen and Alex, we would love to hear how
you all came together and how the heartwork kind of played a role or even for Alex,
what you were working on outside of the pro like outside of our program before you met Gwen.
Hi everyone. Super excited to be here today. Um, so I'm Gwen and, um, yeah.
I was, I was born and raised in a very closed off religious cult.
So I was always told that I only had like a certain set of people that I could marry
because we had to marry inside of the community.
And then I didn't know Jesus because it was a very workspace religious system.
And then when I was 17, I heard about Jesus, I heard about grace and I got saved.
It took a couple of years after that to fully get out of that religious community.
But I did eventually get out with my family as well, who were also saved.
And then I had tons of trauma from that experience.
And I was trying to figure out, okay, now I have the world open to me of people I could
potentially marry, but how do I navigate this?
And another thing was that I was already feeling very rejected at that point because it was
normal for people to get married really young in the community I was in.
And by the time I was out, I was already like 20 years old ish.
And like you were an old maid at that point if you weren't married yet.
So I was like, you know, feeling like I'm probably like no one probably wants me anymore.
And I also just had a lot of really unhealthy attractions too, because I had never really
been taught how to have healthy attractions.
And so usually the guys that I was attracted to were just it was for all the wrong reasons.
It was just kind of trauma bonding with like, oh, I'm not someone who likes to speak up
and stand up for myself.
So I will date someone who is really outgoing, but also really like overbearing.
And I would always get in these relationships where it was just like, not it was not spirit
mate stuff.
It was definitely just the I figured the word that Jackie used to use, she had a word for
it.
But like when you're just kind of trying to do stuff that makes you feel good, but it's
not it's not spirit mate, it's not God.
And so I eventually got to this point where I realized, well, for one, I should say that
I did get I was in a relationship with someone and they did propose to me and I said yes.
But then I called off the engagement like a week later, because God was showing me
very clearly that it was not it was not right.
And so then after that, I just was like, Okay, I don't know how to have a healthy relationship.
I need to get healing, but I had no idea where to go.
I was like, I do not know where to go at all.
And so I started to do some like therapy, but that wasn't really working very well.
And then I heard about Jackie's program on the radio when she was doing like the kind
of little snippets or I would listen to like Christian radio all the time and I heard about
it.
And I heard about a couple different times and I was just like, Oh, I could never do
something like that.
That's crazy.
No way.
I could never do something like that.
And then I was like, You know what?
Why not?
Like, I'm just not going to tell anybody because I was, you know, thought anybody would tell
me I was crazy.
So I was like, I'm just gonna do it.
And no one has to know.
And I started into the program.
And it was it just instantly like even though she used to do these five day like challenges
and they like the five day challenge, I was hooked from the very beginning.
I was like, Oh my goodness, I haven't heard somebody like speak truth in so long about
love, about dating, about relationships.
And so I just kept going after the five day challenge was over, I signed up for the program
and I kept doing that.
And I was doing the online dating thing and met a bunch of people through that and was
just like going on dates and stuff.
And but nothing was really sticking yet.
But it wasn't very long after I started, I think I started online dating in April of
that year.
And then it was in July that a friend so it was my the church I was going to it was my
pastor's son had recently gotten married.
He's around my age, and his wife, I didn't really know her very well, but we happened
to be at an event together.
And then a couple weeks after that, she messages me and was like, Hey, this might be weird.
I'm sorry, you know, this is weird, but like, I have this friend, and I think you guys might
really hit it off.
Like, would it be okay, if I introduced you to him, he might come to church with us in
a couple weeks.
And I was like, you know, I had been doing the crazy online dating world.
And I was like, Sure, it can't be weirder than things I've already experienced.
Like, let's just sure, introduce me to him, it'll be
fine, it'll be great or it'll not be great, but we can handle it either way. And so Alex came to
church with them, and we started talking about college, because we had been to the same colleges
at different times, and started talking about hobbies, and it just seemed like a good conversation.
And then he was gonna leave, so he like came by before he was about to leave from the church,
and he was like, oh, it was really good to talk to you today, and I was like, yeah,
I thought so too, hey, do you want my number? It was kind of really forward, but I really like,
I thought he seemed, I mean, it seemed like it had a lot of potential, so I was like, you know what,
I'm just gonna see if he wants to exchange numbers, and he's like, sure, and so then we did,
and we started talking, and then we can talk more about how the relationship went after that,
but I'll let you do your intro now.
Um, I don't know what to say about that, but anyways, my side of the story of how we met was
the girl who introduced us, she texted me one day, she's like, hey,
are you still looking for a wife? And I said yes, of course, looking for a wife still.
She's like, cool, I met this girl, you should come to church with us and meet her. I'm like,
cool, so I went, and yeah, we chatted, seemed to have a lot in common, so we
wanted to hang out more. I was gonna leave, and my friend, you know, the girl who introduced us,
and then my other friend came to support me. She was like, hey, did you get her number?
And I'm like, no, I didn't. She's like, you should go back and get it. I'm like, you're right,
I should, you know, I guess I assumed I'd come back next to church next week and get it then,
but I was like, I guess you're right, there's no, maybe I won't come back, or maybe she won't come
back, whatever, I don't know, let me go. So I went up to go talk to her, I was like, hey,
it's great to meet you, and she's like, yeah, you want my number? I'm like, oh, okay, that was a
lot easier than I thought. And yeah, I think, yeah, you're the first girl I ever dated, so
I was like, very shy, I was very not expecting to get a number that day, but I did, so it was great.
All right, did all of our ladies in the room hear what he just said? He was very shy,
and he probably would have gone and asked, but he needed to be encouraged by a friend,
and then Gwen did a great job dropping the hanky, that's what we talk about in this community,
and look at that, now they, you know, God brought them together, and they're going to tell a little
bit more of their story, but I think it's super important because, you know, at least for me,
you know, TV and movies kind of make you think the guy's always going to take the initiative,
and I think it really sets some people up for wrong expectations, and you know, yes, we do teach
in the community, we want the guys to, you know, be chivalrous and pursue you in a healthy way,
but, you know, understand that there are different temperaments and personalities,
and if someone is more shy, they may not be as forward, but it doesn't mean that they're not
interested all the time, okay, so if you're dating someone right now, and they seem a little more shy,
not that you have to do all the work, we don't want you doing all the work, but I do want to
point out that Gwen did a great job, again, dropping that hanky, and he picked it right up,
and they exchanged numbers, and so after you all exchanged numbers, tell us a little bit about
kind of how getting to know each other went, because A, I love that you all met through
community, but you continued to get to know each other within the context of community,
can you share a little bit about that? Yeah, so I had been, like I said, when I met him,
I had been online dating, and I didn't just, like, stop, like, there was already some people I was,
like, talking to, and so I, like, continued to kind of, like, talk to them while we were,
while we were still just getting to know each other, because, like, he's a complete stranger to
me, except for the, I just met him, right, and so we were, I was getting to know him,
but it wasn't like I just, Alexi's putting this, it wasn't like I just was like, oh,
I'm just gonna drop everything and only talk to this one, one guy, and so, but we were, we talked,
and we, like, hung out with friends, since we had that connection of that mutual friend that
introduced us, we kind of hung out with her and her husband a couple times, just in casual, like,
board game night and everything, we went paddle boarding together, and then he did actually,
like, asked me on an official date where
It was just the two of us on our first date. That was good
Then we went on our second date and by the second day, I was like, okay
I'm feeling like I really like him or well, I like there's a lot of potential here
and so I
Was like I'm not gonna talk to anybody else now and I didn't like talk to him about all of that
Like I'm talking to other people like it was just I just stopped doing that. I just stopped talking to other people and
Then when we went on our third date
Was when I felt like my heart really like I was like, no, I do really like him. It's not just like oh,
It's potential. It's like no, I really like him
So then I was worried like what if he doesn't ask me to be official?
like how am I gonna navigate that because I wasn't sure if I
like how long it would take before we decided to become like an official couple and
Then he did after the third date a little bit like a few weeks after that
He did ask me to be his girlfriend. And so we became official and then we were officially dating after that
But how did it go from your side, babe?
Like I said, I was really, you know shy and awkward and didn't know quite what to do
So the first time we hung out, you know got a number and I think the next weekend we went paddleboarding with some friends
And you know and I was like, you know
Whatever. It's it is what it is
So I'm just gonna like I don't want to waste my time either and I don't want to waste her time
So I'm like, I'm just gonna ask her a bunch of random questions
And like towards the end. I was like, all right. Well, I guess I'll just ask her
It's like how many kids do you want?
You know, I like I already like knew some big questions that would like break couples apart
After they got married, so I was like, oh, you know kids is a big thing
So, you know, I'll just ask her, you know this first second time we met
and
Yeah, so I asked her how many kids she wanted and she was like, uh
Zero to nine like that's a big range
But it's not a solid zero wherever the camera is solid zero. So that's good, you know
And then the second time we hung out
outside of church was
came over for board game night and
I was like, all right. Well, you know, I might as well just let my freak flag fly and
I was like, let's play this board games called the redneck life
It's a super crazy game and you know, I not not I know that not everybody likes it
I was like, you know if she doesn't like it, then she probably won't like me
So, you know not that I love the game that much but that I'm weird like the game has a bunch of weird stuff
So I was like, okay, let's play that game and she seemed to have fun and you know
We all had fun together with friends and stuff. So it's like, okay, this is good. This is a good start. I
I
Love this. So you're letting her get to know you when starting to open her heart
We're gonna press pause on their relationship right there
We're gonna come back and Gwen and Alex when we come back. I would love for you all to share a little bit. Also, I'm
About some of the challenges that you faced before you got like in the dating process like things
when that you shared with me that you know, you thought they were gonna be bigger issues and they actually
Were even after you got married and so I would love for y'all to share on that when we come back
Okay, Anna and Ryan, we're gonna come back to you
We'd love to hear a little bit about your long-distance creative ideas and how did God help you connect?
You know intentionally during your long-distance dating time
Probably gonna let Ryan do most talking because he really excelled in
Leading during that courtship phase, but before I let him share about that
I just wanted to share with the group like for me what I
Needed during a long-distance really because I was against distance. That was part of the heart healing
Jackie was like Anna you're single because you have this box around you of like what you think you have to have and that's not
God's box. That's your box
So if you're willing to branch out of that and be open to someone with kids and be open to moving and be open to
This that and the other thing
That was hard because I was a youth director
I was basically an unordained youth pastor with a youth group of a hundred kids that were like my kids for eight years
I mean I had kids come from sixth grade through high school and graduate and
To leave that to leave that behind would it and I grew up where I lived to you
I was there for I guess I relocated when I was six. So 38 years. I lived there
It's very established and that was gonna be huge for me. So what I needed
For that as well as coming out of a divorce from a con artist
Was I needed to see consistency?
Like that was huge for me. So in my head, I remember going. All right
let's see if he can show me that because
Because if he can't show that and he just kind of like starts off hot and heavy, like, yeah, I'm going to come down to, I live in Florida, we're going down to Florida, we're going to have some fun, I might come back once or twice, and then it's going to peter out.
I was kind of like, let's see. And surprisingly, but not surprisingly, Ryan had a plan. And so I'd love for you to share about the plan.
All right.
Yeah, so we were talking just we would we would have an occasional video chat or phone conversation. No, I didn't have your phone number yet. So we would do video chats, you know, messaging through Messenger and things like that. And so, um, a few, I guess a couple months went by. And so, um, pretty early on,
I'm not the type of person that wants to talk to multiple people, multiple women at a time. But so I knew pretty early on that, that there was a large potential for her. And so I kind of had told had shared with her that, that, you know, this doesn't mean this is just my preference.
This doesn't mean that we're an item or we're together. I'm just going to respectfully let you know that I'm not, I want to focus on the potential that we have. And so she was open about that, you know, she was going to continue on talking and I was completely fine with that.
Talking to other people, because I was talking to a handful of other people. And I wanted him to know that I didn't want to be dishonest with him. Because I knew from everything we learned until we met in person, you just don't know. And I needed to make sure that it was going to translate in real life.
But I also needed to make sure, did I want to meet him in real life? Like, how do I really know I want to meet him in real life, I had to kind of vet, if that makes sense. And the best way for vetting was by comparison with other people. So what I liked about his responses, his response was different from other men in the past, where if I would have told them that they would have been turned off and like pressured me to commit to them, or they were going to walk, or just shame me about it or made me feel bad.
He was very much like, I respect that. Thank you for being honest. And that took so much pressure off of me. And it didn't change the way he behaved or treated me. In fact, he stayed consistent the whole time. So
Yeah, so I mean, not, I knew what I had to offer, not in an arrogant or conceited way. And I knew that if we were meant to be together, that it was just going to work out. And so that was kind of my, my test was that, you know, if I, if I make it to the end with her, then we need to really meet in person.
And so, little bit by little bit, she would kind of update me on things and, hey, I'm no longer talking to such and such. And that's okay. Well, that's, you know, that's cool. I mean, we kind of made jokes about it or whatever. But so whenever we eventually deemed that we, when she told me that she had quit talking to the last person and I was the only one, we really knew that we needed to meet in person.
And so, so I made arrangements to drive down. Like she said, like she mentioned, it was about an eight hour drive and no real, no real plan except for just, I would stay a couple of days at a hotel. We would meet up. I wanted to make sure that she was comfortable with that.
And I mean, I like sent her like my license plate, my, I wanted her friends to know like my license plate number, my driver's license number, just, just for her security. And so after, after we, after we met, we had a day date that, that was kind of like pretty much, pretty much all day. Yeah.
At the end of it, I knew that I wanted to ask her if she, if she would be my girlfriend and that we would be, what do you, what do you call it? Just exclusive. Yeah.
But can I, can I add something really quick? So two important things is one, God had told me in my personal, you know, relationship with the Lord, because I not only did Jackie's program,
but I, I did Jackie's program with Jesus. You know, we did it together. He was the one holding my hand.
Trust me, if he wasn't, I would have, there were so many times I wanted to quit.
There were so many times that I had like adult temper tantrums with Jackie.
Cause I'm like, I don't want to do this, you know?
And she's like, you got to.
So, um, one of the things Jesus told me was Anna, I used to fall for
love bombers big time because of my childhood upbringing and some trauma
there, and I would commit within a month.
And I'm not saying there's anything wrong.
I mean, if that's your love story, praise Jesus.
But for me, the Lord said, I want you to grow in discernment.
I want you to slow your role and take your time.
And so he gave me a number and that number was three, three months.
He didn't want me to commit to anybody, whether I was talking to
a bunch of people or one person.
He did not want me to commit until after three months.
And so I remember telling Ryan, like, look, if, if I stopped talking to these
guys and it's just you and me, that doesn't mean we're going to be exclusive
because one, I have to meet you in person.
And two, like, I don't have permission from my heavenly father to even
commit to you until after three months.
And like, I know for some men that was a turnoff, but those
were red flag, he meant for me.
They, you know, they were looking to accelerate an agenda.
And so for him, he was very laid back and he's like, well,
you got to listen to God.
You know, he's like, that's what he told you.
That's fine.
We're not rushing.
We're not, we don't have a specific timeline.
We have his timeline.
And the other important thing, cause this is part of the growing is right,
right before he and I actually met.
So we met around four months.
That's when he came.
Um, I had, so I have a bone tumor in my right leg.
It's benign.
I've had it since I was a child, but it has not acted up in 37 years.
And right before he came, I had, I must've hit it on something
and stress fractured it.
And I was terrified because I had no idea what was going on.
Like I, I remembered what I went through as a child, but I was
no longer in contact with my family.
And so I had nothing to go by.
I mean, I'm literally trying to track down my bone specialist from
when I was a kid in the eighties and I did find him for the record.
It was amazing.
But, um, so I was scared cause I thought, oh my gosh, did it, did it grow?
Like what's going on?
And I'm on a knee scooter.
I can't drive.
I'm wearing yoga pants 24 seven, because you're sweating your butt off as in
Florida, as you're riding around on the scooter, nothing about it was
ideal to meet someone or date them.
But God, I now know God was saying, Anna, one of your problems is you are a
perfectionist and I am breaking you out of perfection.
So everything about the beginning of me and Ryan dating did not go
the way I would have wanted it to.
And it was, yeah.
The second time.
Um, right before I picked her about an hour before I picked her up in
the morning, what your water cut off.
Yes.
There was some weird thing that happened in my community.
And I had lived in that community like seven years and it never
happened before that never happened since.
But the water went out in the whole community.
I couldn't take a shower and I'm like freaking out.
Cause I'm supposed to go on a second date with this man.
And after I met him and I liked him like for real, for real.
And I'm going, I smell my hair.
I'm freaking out.
Well, I had to do, you know, having been a youth director, I've done mission, a
lot of mission trips where we do what we call the missionary shower, which
you take a bottle of water and a washcloth and you just wash yourself,
throw your hair in a bun.
That's what I did.
And I remember like crying and having the meltdown, but I also remember the
Lord going, I'm breaking you of perfectionism.
Your husband will not care.
I'm breaking you for that.
And he did not care.
So like, just all the things that you think are going to happen often don't
happen the way you think, because it's not your plan, it's God's and he wants
to shake the mold of what you're used to.
And it's very uncomfortable, but it works.
So,
so each time I had come down, you know, I wanted to have like, uh, what's
when is our next visit going to be?
I wanted to kind of go ahead and establish that.
And we tried to keep it like maybe every two weeks, three weeks, depending
on, um, schedules and things like that.
Both of my, I have two daughters and they both, um, play high level, um, travel ball.
And so during the summertime there, our, our schedules are really, really busy.
Um, so just planning around that and working things out, sometimes
it might've went a little longer.
But in between trips, you know, we're, we're talking pretty, we're talking
pretty regular, um, on the phone, we're talking each day and things like that.
And, um, but not obsessively, because that's what I used to do.
I used to get on the phone with a guy that I liked and let it go
as long as he wanted to talk.
And one of the things Jackie taught me was like, Anna, you need to work.
Renee, Renee was instrumental.
Her name is like boundaries boundaries.
So I remember like in our early conversations after an hour, I would cut it off.
I said, I gotta, I gotta go.
And he's like, it's eight o'clock.
Like, really?
And I'm like, yeah, I wasn't playing a game.
I just wanted to show him like, Hey, you don't have me wrapped all
around your pinky, like a doormat.
You know, because when people establish that early on, especially if they don't
have good intentions, they will take full advantage of that.
So I had to start establishing like my time and access to me is something
that will gradually be earned.
And of course it didn't always stay like that.
The more we got to know each other and the safer we felt, the more I
was able to give more of me to him.
But I remember him thinking like, he's like, I've never had a woman do that
before, you know, and he didn't know how to handle it, but at the same
time, he wasn't turned off by it.
It actually turned out to be, um, a really good thing because, you know, it
allowed me on the other, on the other side to continue my life in Alabama with,
um, you know, uh, the girls with my relationship with Christ, you know, it
just allowed me as well as her to just have our own life, other healthy, healthy
relationships, other than, than just being consumed by one another.
Um, and it, it paced the relationship really good.
Um, so yeah, anyways, um, in between dates, you know, we wanted to kind of,
um, keep it, um, exciting and interesting.
It was so long.
It seemed like so long before we would see each other.
It was just, um, it would seem like so long before we would see each other.
And so we, um, started doing these things called, we call them countdowns.
Um, and they were kind of like themed countdowns.
Um, you know, one of them just, uh, what's, what's one of them that you've
heard would come up with them to make it fun, because it's hard to be long
distance and he would say, okay, so we'll take turns every other day, sending each
other, um, like for example, a theme was, um, 10 things I love about you, or I, or
my favorite things about you, or I had a theme once that was like, um, 15 things.
I can't wait for us to do with each together.
You know, I think we had one, like when we got real serious, it was like, what
we want in our future marriage together and dreams list, the days
of how long we had to see each other.
Yeah.
This is so great.
So one of the things, um, just cause I need to shift and go to Bobby and Jeannie,
I love everything that y'all are sharing.
One of the things I want to pull out of there that I think is really important
for everyone to hear that is long distance and also local is pacing.
Your relationship is so important.
Um, having a healthy individual, like, like what hobbies do I have?
What hobbies do they have?
What interest or, you know, their jobs.
And like Ryan was saying, like our relationship with the Lord, like Brian
and I also, um, that was one of the things like we didn't talk every day.
Like we would text, but like we did a video chat a couple nights a week.
I think maybe two or three at most, especially in the beginning.
And we would text a little bit, but I had a job that like, I couldn't
text all day and he had a job.
And so we just, we would touch base and chat, but like, it was, it was good for
me, uh, at least from my perspective, you can share it, but like, um, because
it helped me like not do what I had done in the past and I used to get really
wrapped up in the other people, like the prior guy I dated, that's where
my spiritual daughters came from.
So I was totally wrapped up in all things them and lost a lot of myself.
And so what I don't want to see happen for those in this community, as you
all get into relationship and lose yourself, cause I've done it in the past.
It's not good.
And so knowing who you are, knowing things that you enjoy, figure those
things out now, um, so that when you start dating, you still do those things,
you know, and of course you'll find things that you enjoy to do as a couple
as well, but you want to make sure that.
You maintain you as well.
Like, even after we got married, we still for a long time, like on every Tuesday
night, he would go kind of like do his thing.
And I would do my thing.
Uh, even if we were in the house, like there were things that we enjoyed
and that space was healthy for us.
Does that make sense?
Everyone.
If I could add something picked up on something that Anna said earlier, uh,
some people, if you don't have boundaries, we'll take advantage of that.
In previous relationships, you know, uh, I've had exes that tried to isolate where
I.
So getting too wrapped up into involved would oftentimes pull you just suck you into that relationship and kind of create a standard.
So not getting caught up that and having the space. I was able to talk to my family and friends about her and it was it was a create a really nice balance.
So I didn't feel like it was imbalanced in any way. It was it was really good pace.
Yeah. And so just wanted to make sure to share that with you all. Bobby and Jeannie, can you all share with us a little bit about some of the challenges you faced?
I know some of them that you shared with me, but want to leave that totally open to what you want to share about those.
And like through the challenges, how did God help you all come together as a team?
I want to make sure that that comes out in this part of the conversation tonight as well.
Yeah. So one of the biggest challenges was our kids.
He has a 20 year old. Now he's 20.
But, you know, three years ago, 16, 17. And then my son is 36.
So, you know, at first, everything seemed great.
We did go through pre marriage counseling with the pastor privately.
And but then we started kind of hitting a wall where he wasn't receptive, his son.
But then we kept, you know, thinking, well, it's going to come around kind of thing.
So. He we started setting boundaries, you know, as a couple, we come together and.
And he just we hit a wall with him where there was, you know, lack of respect and things like that.
So up to today, the relationship is not good.
And then with my son, being that he's older, I have two grandbabies and he's in a relationship with the mother.
So it's kind of strange to he's moved.
He was in New York, moved to Florida to be closer, but it was five, five hours away.
And so he went back to New York. So that's been really challenging for us that we have an only child.
I mean, I had a daughter, but she's passed away that they're not part of our lives because we're in such a good place.
And we want to share with them what we have worked together so hard and how God has blessed us and the opportunities and they don't want any part of it.
You know, we've we've totally surrendered that to God.
You know, there are some days where, you know, we we go through some anger issues and stuff because, you know, we're just like, you know, what the heck?
It's really difficult to enjoy life when your child isn't talking to you.
And it's it's very, very challenging.
Yeah, we can't quite hear you. Can you all hear him?
Yeah, just take the.
OK.
It's very challenging when a child doesn't want to speak with their parents.
And I've been dealing with that for the last couple of years.
I thought it would be resolved by now.
But it's really difficult to live, live, you know, a good life when your child isn't speaking to you.
I had to let that go.
I want to fix it.
I want to run over there and try to talk to him.
But it's just like this.
It's just like God.
You got to come together.
He's not going to make you.
He can't hear.
Let's take this off.
Hang on a second.
Yep.
Yes, so much better.
Yes.
Sorry about that.
That's all right.
Yeah, it's very challenging having a child that doesn't talk.
But he was.
He was very disrespectful, angry kid.
He got that from some of it for me because I was growing up in a pretty tumultuous household.
Most of his early life.
that I've changed, you know, and this and that,
and make amends and all those things,
but he's not ready to receive it yet.
So, and I still go to meetings every day.
I still, I have a discipleship band with my pastor and stuff
and we talk about these things on a regular basis.
And if I didn't have that,
I would pretty much go crazy right now.
It's really hard to enjoy life
when my child's not talking to me.
But, you know, when I share that with other people,
they tell me, oh yeah, there was a time in my kid's life
where he didn't talk to me for a couple of years.
And it's fairly common, you know,
and I'm just like, really?
I didn't know that.
So I got hope, you know,
I know God's gonna bring him back in time.
So, and he's not my child, he's God's child.
God doesn't have any grandchildren,
but I'm his dad and I'd like to be in his life.
And I made that perfectly clear,
so the ball's in this court.
So I have to leave it up to God,
but it's very hard to do at times.
And we get in, you know, I get in a bad mood
and it's because of those reasons.
With that, first, let me ask this
just so that we can be praying for him as a community
and for you all.
What are your two sons' names?
Aiden and Gabe.
Aiden and Gabe, okay.
So Aiden is 28.
Yeah, yeah, my pleasure.
I think it's important as a community
for us to come around our married couples,
you know, that are navigating some of these challenges
and also, you know, all the time,
the prayers that go up for all those
looking for their spirit mate.
If God puts it on your heart to pray for all those
that have gotten married through our community,
I would be grateful for that.
And I know they would be as well.
So Bobby and Jeannie, like, what,
like how did God through that,
how have you all come closer together?
Yeah, I was gonna, I was thinking about that
while he was talking about,
he's so good because it's not,
if we're gonna go through stuff,
it's, I mean, we are going to go through stuff,
it's guaranteed.
He promises us.
Yeah, but he promised to be with a broken hearted.
So, I mean, we've come together to,
you know, hang on a second.
Aiden?
Yeah.
So he's, yeah, he's come, we come together,
I mean, we do devotionals together,
we pray together, you know, he leads, you know, and-
God uses everything.
Yeah, yeah, we just have to remember that,
you know, we put God first and then our relationship
and then he'll take care of the rest.
We need to rest in him and rely on him
and know that, like, you know, that he is,
he loves them more than we do.
Yes.
Yeah, it's brought us together
and we had other challenges at the beginning.
He had an accident a long time ago with his back
and that almost did not allow us to come together
because he was so scared that he would be on a wheelchair
and I would have to take care of him
for the rest of his life.
And, you know, God has healed him.
I mean, we've seen how he's just,
just really healed him.
You know, like I was telling you that he does boat yoga.
I mean, we don't like yoga,
but I'm just saying, like,
he gets into really tight spaces,
he takes the boat and, you know, he's pulling the anchor
and that, it's amazing how God, you know,
it's just how you get through the hurdles
that makes you stronger
because we turn towards each other.
We turn to God and then towards each other.
We don't, like before I would run away
and like, okay, later, you know,
and just for him drink or whatever,
we all have our things, but not anymore
because we know that we stand firm.
That God is, he's got us no matter what.
It's not easy, but you gotta work it through.
And it's worth it.
So even the phrase that Jackie says, you know,
for our community, when we're single
and you're pursuing that spirit mate
and you're moving towards, you know,
through all that heartwork, you know,
it doesn't have to be easy.
It just has to be worth it.
The same thing applies in marriage and regarding our kids.
And I did wanna mention, and Alex and Gwen,
I'm getting ready to come over to you all
to share on some of those kind of challenges
that you all faced a little bit before you got married.
But I saw something that Gail had put in the chat
and wanted just to mention, she, you know, has concern.
Is it gonna be tough because she has estrangement
from her, with her kids
and will that impact dating relationships
or being concerned about going into relationship with that?
And I just wanna encourage all of you
that are in that place, continue to heal.
If there's anything that you can do to keep healing
and be at peace with that person,
do all that you can to do that.
But it, you know,
We've done all we can do to create peace with that person.
Sometimes our children even are not in a healthy place, again,
like because of maybe even things that we did in the past
or things they've gone through or experienced, and they may not
be able to be in healthy relationship right now. And I
just want you all to know, like, are you okay if I share just
briefly? So when I met Brian, he wasn't really talking to either
one of his girls a whole lot. And not long after, I don't know
how far into dating we were in our relationship, but his
oldest daughter actually, like, said she didn't want to even
have a relationship with him at all, and like, totally cut him
out. And I want you to know that did not impact my view of Brian
at all, because I was already getting to know Brian, and he
was a trustworthy person. He was a healthy man. And I saw the
fruits of the spirit in him. And I just, I know that hurt
people will hurt people, they'll do broken things. Okay. And so
even with our children, we have to remember that sometimes. And
that doesn't always mean it's a reflection of that person, where
they are at in the present day. And a lot of the things that led
her to that place, were actually lies that she was being told by
his former spouse. So, you know, just be encouraged that, you
know, God knows your situation. And he knows the spirit mate
that will be the best fit for you to navigate all the dynamics
of everything that have to do to you do with you, including your
trauma and the backstory or things like this.
I'm just gonna tell the rest of this story.
Here, sit up, sit up so they can hear. Yeah.
No, go ahead. Tell the rest.
Well, I mean, since probably in the past year and a half, I
think it is.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell that side.
Yeah, God, just to give hope and encouragement, like God totally
turned the situation around. And both of my girls have come to
me. And it actually worked out in a really odd way.
It's been good.
After we got divorced, she remarried and
His ex he's talking about right now.
So her second husband actually told the girls kind of the truth
of what was going on, which was kind of an odd situation. But
they came to me like, Hey, like, I apologize. Like, we want a
relationship with you. And we didn't know who to believe, but
it's coming out. So anyway, all I say guys really just kind of
turn that around. So both my girls, I'm talking and texting
with them and
his youngest has stayed with her multiple times. Yeah, God's
doing all kinds of stuff.
So it's exciting.
I love that you share that. Yeah, that's that's really
important.
Well, it's not over yet. It's still going. But um, yeah, you
all just keep praying and interceding for your kids. God
God's work and even when we can't see it. And just remember
that and same thing when you're pursuing your spirit mate. Okay,
Alex and Gwen. Hi, would love for you to share for a few
minutes about some of the challenges you all faced in your
dating, your dating relationship.
Yeah, so we were definitely both really intentional about
having like, those, those conversations about the
important issues and not all right on the on the first day,
except for that one story that he shared about the kids
question. But you know, it was like, a few here a few there
questions that were more deeper, especially once we became
official and started to just have a little bit more of a
deeper conversations. And as we did, it was like, there was
just areas where we found out that we had differences in like
differences in upbringing, and just differences in opinion. And
those differences were very scary to me, at least. Initially,
like my my knee jerk reaction was to be like, Oh, no, a
difference that we have means that, you know, maybe we can't
you know, maybe we can't be together. But being, being in
Jackie's program at the time, while I was in this
relationship was really helpful, because I would just, you know,
hear that, like, it's healthy for people to be their own
person and not be like the exact same person. Like I, and I was
like, Yeah, I don't, I don't want to marry myself. I want
someone who's different than me. And so like, some of those
things were that money, like, we just were like, we had very
different upbringings, with regard to money, and have kind
of like different opinions on just really small things about
like, what would you buy versus what would he buy? And we're
like, Oh, those are actually pretty different. And so when we
would come up against those, I feel like we would do our best
to explain where we were coming from, and both like understand
where
other were coming from and he was meeting me like I wasn't sure if I was going to be
able to have these deep conversations with him or if it would turn into like just you
know oh well if it was going to be too hard but he was like meeting me with the same level
of intentionality that I was bringing like we were both like kind of on the same level
with that and so that was one of the reasons I knew that it was like spirit mate stuff
that I was like this is this is probably my spirit mate because we were bringing the same
level of intentionality with those so there was there's money and then there was also
that we came back around to the kids question and found out that like I wanted more than
he wanted and so we were like hey well I guess we're gonna just trust God when the time comes
to that and you know not count our chickens before they hatch and not get all wrapped
around the axle about things that are in the future there was like realizing that he likes
things super clean and I'm like I can handle things being more messy and I think that those
could have become major issues but there were so many other more important things we were
really aligned on like church we had a lot of conversations about church and about what
we wanted our faith walk to look like as a couple and it was like those things were so
in line that the places that we were more a little like that we were more different
it kind of just felt like it would have been really silly to call off the relationship
for those things and they've and they've turned out now that we've been married for over a year
now to be really not not major issues there the thing that I think has been harder than
any of those is uh more about our pets because we don't have kids but we have pets and I'm
way more of an animal person than Alex and I didn't we didn't even realize we were so
different about that before until we were like living until we were married and like
living together every day so it was like the things that we thought were going to be bigger
issues really have been a lot easier than we thought and there's been other things that
have come up but we've been able to navigate through them but there was other one other
kind of challenging thing that I'll let Alex share about um yeah my family wasn't all that
supportive of the relationship um they uh they aren't exactly Christians um and you know in
middle school I started going to youth group and stuff and and found Jesus that way but like
my parents and other family like don't don't really know him um or care for him so that was
hard when it was like they give me awful advice like all the time it's like oh you should move
in with her you know you should do this you know why don't you do that and I'm like this is all
awful advice and you're my parents like what is going on here um and you know I was thankful for
like all the time in youth group and all you know friends and you know all the people who are
you know gave me good advice throughout the years you know in time of like preparation
preparation so wow this is awful preparation um so to speak was like I was get advice on how like
relationships worked and stuff and you know talk to my pastor my youth pastor a lot about it so it
was like you know I was preparing somewhat for it so that I could identify red flags and and see
stuff like that when we did start getting to know each other better but it was really hard when like
my my own family weren't supportive of it either and were giving awful advice so that was kind of
hard to go through but you know we're able to to get through it yeah the fact that he stood up to
them though and said you know like no we're not going to move in together and yes we are going to
get married even though that they thought it was really fast for us to get married we like it was
about a year after we met that we got engaged and we were engaged for like six months so like you
know a year and a half of knowing each other and we got married and they thought that was really
fast so um it was but the fact that he was um willing to like tell them like no we are going
to get married and like I appreciate your care for me but I have a different opinion on that um like
spoke volumes to me that it was like okay he really cares about us and our relationship
and then now like kind of the the end of the story right is like they they're very supportive of us
now they were like okay he's gonna marry her so like they they don't hold it against me now and
we have a good relationship but then they don't know Jesus yet but we uh we hope they will someday
yeah key word yet I love it you all thanks for sharing that Alex thanks I know sometimes it can
be tricky because we don't ever want to like make someone look bad but like I think God can
use all situations and I love how God showed Gwen how good of a man you were um to say like hey mom
and dad I'm I'm not gonna listen to you and this is someone I think you know I'm kind of putting
words in your mouth but God brought her into your life and you knew that and you held on to that
and that's really awesome and uh I
I love that y'all, you know, just continue to press through the things that you were concerned about.
Um, one of the things I was thinking, if we can do a really quick round, say short,
brief and powerful, I want to hear from every person.
And I'll start with Anna and Ryan first.
I'll kind of go in the same order.
One tip that you would give every person on here, like something that really helped you
in your process, whether it was when you were single and preparing to get married or
even, you know, early on in your marriage, like what's a piece of advice and not
necessarily advice advice, but you don't understand what I'm saying.
Something that you think will help them.
Yeah, I actually knew exactly what I wanted to say.
So something that I learned from Jackie was that God is your defender, right?
I mean, I was rendered Christian, but I had that trauma experience getting married to a
con artist.
So I thought to myself, well, he's not my defender.
He let he, which I have since had revelations about why God permitted that.
And there actually was an intentional loving purpose that God used in the whole
thing.
But ultimately I had to start believing that God was my defender to even get online to
date, because that was one of the visceral reactions I had with to Jackie and I was
ready to dip out.
And, but the cool thing that God is showing me is he ladies, I don't know, guys,
gentlemen, I don't know if you feel this way because men and women are different, but
sometimes women can feel like, I don't know, like it's for me anyway, I've always felt
like men have had an upper hand over me.
And so a lot of times when Ryan and I maybe aren't agreeing on something or maybe we're
having an argument or whatever the case may be, I often feel this, like, I got to
defend myself.
I got to argue my case.
I got, and God's always showing me, Anna, I was your defender in dating.
I'm still your defender in marriage and meaning that Ryan's wrong or he's bad, but
that God will say, let me work on him to bring you two together, to have the right
timing and the right conversation.
And with that, the other thing that I think we both have learned and practice is that
whenever we aren't seeing eye to eye, because that devil is going to try to tear apart
what God puts together, right?
Instead of trying to duke it out with each other, we always have to say, first, we
individually need to go to God and ask God, what am I missing?
What am I missing?
Because usually we're not thinking about that we're missing something.
We're thinking the other person doesn't see something or doesn't.
And so a lot of times we ask God, what am I missing?
And then when we come together, it's like, God showed me what I was missing.
God showed Ryan what he was missing.
We come together.
And it's like, that is how God is coaching us through marriage.
Just like God coached me with Jackie through dating.
He's still coaching me through marriage and defending me in that way.
So that was so good.
Ryan, how about you?
Um, well, Anna, you, you mentioned God was, is your defender.
Um, he's also our matchmaker.
Um, and so, you know, like we had, um, certain parameters and things like that.
And it was for me, I'm going to, I'm going to hold firm to what I had said earlier
about just relinquishing that control to God and, and be in prayer about it the
entire time, and I seemed, Anna will, will, um, attest to this, that I seem to be ahead
of her a few steps throughout the entire process that God kind of was sharing things
to me before he would share them to her.
And so just, just seek God in prayer about, about every aspect, um, just
for clarity, for, um, you know, understanding.
Um, you know, when Anna mentioned, when I went through her situation with, with her
leg, that was, that was a big deal for me as well.
And, uh, you know, God, God shared with me that, you know, I heard, I've heard his
audible voice tell me, um, that she's healed, you know, and not that she's going
to be that, but that she is.
Um, and so he just, he was really my, my, the author of our story.
Um, he was with us the entire time and he's still with us.
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Thank you both for sharing.
Bobby and Jeannie, uh, what, what kind of, uh, thought or inspiration or something to
share with our, with our, uh, community here tonight?
Um, for me, it was, um, um, all the, what is it called?
Um, myth busters, like all the good guys are taken and all this stuff I've forgotten.
I used to say.
because it's not true.
I mean, that's really, that was hard to,
like Anne and Ryan are saying,
like pretty much just get out of the way
and let God take the wheel, take over,
that, you know, he is the good picker, I'm not.
I was a very bad picker.
So basically that, I would say that.
I would say one thing, bit of advice would be
to realize that demons are real
and they will attack you.
They don't want happy marriages.
They want to seek, kill and destroy.
And we have to constantly battle them all the time.
And we, like I have a men's group
and she has a women's group
and we pray for each other all the time.
And I think that's a huge benefit.
And we pray every morning before we get out of bed.
We have prayer habits and we make time to talk with,
you know, our friends that we can't share with each other.
We hurt feelings or whatever.
We get, we just have healthy boundaries now
and it goes a long way.
We've had a lot of practice.
Yes, we get practice every day, right?
Yes.
And I love, I feel like just so y'all
are hearing this tonight too, community.
I mean, we talk about that a lot in this community
because we believe in it,
but I want y'all to hear how much community
has played an important role
in so many aspects of people's lives that are here
sharing their stories with you tonight.
And I, that's my new favorite phrase.
Is it Jeannie or is it Jeannie?
Was I saying your name wrong the whole time?
It's Jeannie, like Jeannie.
Okay, okay, cool.
I love when you said that God is a myth buster,
just like the myth busters the show.
I'm not gonna forget that.
He is a myth buster.
And hey, for all of our ladies out there,
all the good guys aren't taken.
And for all those guys,
I don't know if you all struggle with that,
but I know our ladies do,
but there are plenty of amazing ladies
and God will lead you to the spirit mate
that is right for you.
Go ahead.
Like I, you know, he thought of a better man for me
cause Bobby wasn't even like
what I thought would be my type.
You know, like I never dated anybody with a beard
and you know, just like crazy stuff like that.
It's like I had to really get out of my way
and God showed up in a big way.
So.
I love that.
That's right.
These are all the things ladies, even Jackie,
if y'all haven't watched her Instagram
and she's been putting out some fire content,
I'm telling you what.
And there was one on there from a couple of days ago.
I mean, she's just speaking truth.
And so I encourage y'all to check it out there,
but she kind of gets right to the core
of something that Jeannie just said there.
You know, some people are getting hung up on,
you know, how much hair someone has or how tall they are
or what, and you're missing spirit mates.
So y'all definitely go check those out.
Alex and Gwen would love to hear
kind of a little bit from you all,
just kind of a thought from your hearts.
Like, what do you think is something
that could help those in our community
where they're at on their journey
or even, you know, after they get married?
Yeah, mine is definitely gotta be that
God wants you to be married as much as you want it.
When I started to believe that,
that's when things really turned around for me
because I lived with a constant guilt of like,
maybe God is calling me to this life of singleness
and I should want that and I should be happy about that.
And I shouldn't want something for myself
that God doesn't want for me,
thinking that maybe he didn't want me to be married.
And when I realized that like, okay,
I have a desire to be married and that came from God
and he's ready to fulfill it and he has a love story for me.
And me finding my spouse is something that's inevitable.
And I did have to surrender the pen of timing to him
of like, when it's gonna happen.
But when I started believing that he had a spirit mate
for me and that he wanted me to be married,
then it was what enabled me to just,
I mean, I don't know how to say other than
it completely changed the game for me.
So I just want everybody to know that,
that if you have that desire thing, like God's ready
and you might still have some hard work to do for sure,
but like it's coming.
Yeah.
I love that.
It's probably just like be real,
be yourself and to just be with God.
How I've taken it through this whole time is, you know, be yourself and be with God
as if you're being with God, then he'll lead you to the right spots.
He'll take you to the right people or the right person and lead you to the right decisions
if you're with him.
And you don't need to be afraid of that.
I feel like, just don't be ashamed of bringing more of God into your life and into your relationship.
Like that's a lot of what we did was we'd like pray together and read the Bible together
a lot.
So I was like, I felt like that was really good for our relationship to see more of each
other that way.
And we still do that.
So it's a really good thing to do.
I love that.
If you think of one that you want to share, I know we've shared before, but I have one
that's fresh that I want to share tonight.
One of the things that I think is, I'm learning, still learning, that is so important is being
open-minded about someone else's opinion about something.
So for those of you that don't know, I shared on a prayer call, I don't know, a week or
two ago, but Brian and I are taking steps.
We're doing, we're taking several steps.
We're praying and believing for a bio baby still, but we are looking into potentially
fostering to adopt or just adopting outright.
And so we're just taking some steps.
And that led, we went to a meeting the other night for that, an intro meeting, and it sparked
some conversation about if we did foster to adopt or even adopt, you know, some things
that we needed to talk about.
And you know, there's those moments where like you realize someone may have a totally
different opinion than you, but it doesn't make them wrong, you know?
And if we're open-minded and open-hearted about where they're coming from, and we really
listen with God's heart, at least again, this is, this is from my perspective.
I feel like I learned, I feel like I matured a little bit more in this last week because
of this, like just not casting that opinion aside so quickly.
Does that make sense, what I'm saying?
So that's something God taught me recently.
It's not like I didn't know it before, but I feel like I had more practice in it in the
last week.
Do you have anything that comes to mind?
Yeah.
I think echoing what many of you said too, like don't limit yourselves.
Don't put a closed boundary with all these expectations, especially geographically.
If you could spend two years in a long distance relationship and have a healthy, happy marriage
for the rest of your life, it's worth it.
I mean, we're, I never expected to be in Florida.
I mean, that, that was kind of a hop around, but like I'm living my best life now.
And you know, 10 years ago when life was difficult, I never would have imagined where I would
be today.
So when you limit yourselves, you're also, I don't know, just kind of throwing away possible
opportunities potentially.
So be open to what God's doing and distance and all those kinds of things.
You never know what God could do.
And you know what?
Follow the Holy Spirit because he's really good at what he does.
All right.
Cause hey, you all, I had, this is what I'm going to share and then we're going to close
the last thing.
For those that haven't heard this part of my story, I set the distance at a certain
amount.
I think it was like two hours.
That's as far as I was willing to go because my girls, my spiritual daughters are in Lexington,
Kentucky.
And God nudged me just to, just to move that up a little bit.
And I bumped it, ended up bumping it up to, I think it was like three and a half or something
or four.
And literally the next day is when Brian messaged me and the Holy Spirit was the one that spoke
to me to do that.
And I knew it was him.
And I'm so glad that I listened to that.
I believe God could have worked it out either way, but just, I'm super grateful.
And so the Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are intimately involved in your journey
if you let them be and they love you and they're working on your behalf.
We're so glad that you joined us tonight to all of our couples.
Thank you.
You did an amazing job.
We are so appreciative and I've enjoyed this.
I do want to say all three of these couples did Symbus with our community.
And from what I heard, I know they did two of them, two of the couples did it with us.
I know the other did it with Jackie, but heard great things from all of them.
And that's not just because Brian and I led the group for some of them, but just y'all,
it's worth it.
If you're in a really exclusive, happy relationship that that's looking like it's going to go
towards engagement, or y'all are even considering, you know, talking about those things, highly
recommend that you reach out to admin at JackieDorman.com about our Symbus program.
program and let us walk on that journey with you.
And you'll meet a lot of other great couples too.
And that's a really awesome thing to start,
even that kind of journey where you start finding friends
that are couples.
And so thanks again for being here tonight.
Everybody have a great night.
May the fourth be with you.
Bye everyone.