WEBVTT

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You called out my name.

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Sorry.

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I probably spoke to you, but yeah.

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Hey, Diana.

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Hi.

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Hey, hey, hey.

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I don't have any favorites, so if I miss your name, I'm sorry.

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Hey, everybody.

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But I just like to be as personable as possible

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because we are, I want us to feel like a ladies group.

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It's us tonight.

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So I hope you guys are all having a good week.

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Who is, if it's your first time with us,

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give us a wave of a hand.

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No first timers.

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You Sky, is that your hand?

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Well, first time in phase two, yes.

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Yay.

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Welcome.

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Thank you.

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Trying to find the wave, the hand wave, sorry.

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Who is that, you Felicia?

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Trying to find the wave?

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Yes.

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Not Felicia.

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Felicia, is this your first time?

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Yes.

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Oh, is that another Felicia?

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Two Felicias.

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I guess so.

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We're strong.

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Yeah, it's two Felicias.

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Hey, Nikki, is this your first time in phase two coaching?

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Yes, it is.

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Hello.

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Hi.

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Hey.

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Hey, Shelly.

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Hey, Denise.

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Now that I've hate everybody.

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Welcome.

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I'm Ebony.

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I am coaching.

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I coach 8 o'clock.

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Carla coaches 1 o'clock.

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You can always come to both, or you can come one or either other.

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The 1 o'clock is always recording.

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You can go back and watch a replay.

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8 o'clock is recorded, but it's not available for replay.

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So you get the exclusive, and nobody else gets it.

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So hey, but you can always come to both, or one or the other.

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I am a third grade teacher, just so you know what I do.

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So you can know who's coaching you.

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I was in this program, I keep saying three years,

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but for as long as it's going to be four years,

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you're going to be able to keep up.

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I did what you're doing about three, maybe three and a half

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years ago.

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It's absolutely amazing.

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I would like to say that phase two was my most favorite part.

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All of them were my most favorite part.

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Phase one was really a, it changed my life,

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got me ready for phase two.

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But I will tell you that dating for discovery, totally,

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absolutely, hands down, without a doubt,

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changed my life just as much as the hard work did.

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Actually, it furthered the hard work,

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but this phase is like my jam.

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And so I know that you guys, if you get into the swing of it,

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you're going to enjoy it so much,

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because you discover so much about yourself

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in community with others.

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And it's the only way we discover ourselves.

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We cannot discover ourselves with just us and Jesus,

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because Jesus is perfect.

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We ain't going to have too many issues with him.

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We may not want to obey him, but his grace is so good,

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we don't even know we're being disobedient sometimes.

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Because we have this idea that we can serve a God

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that we don't obey.

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But that's a different story for another day.

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However, when you get in a relationship

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with real people who are not perfect, like Jesus,

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you get to work some muscles.

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You know, kind of like people, the only people

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they're in a relationship with is their dog.

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Because the dog love him no matter what.

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Yeah, so, but just to do a little housekeeping,

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you guys want to watch at least one video a week.

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And you get behind us, OK?

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We all get behind.

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You want to definitely hop on to prayer calls in the morning.

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Saturdays are always supernaturally,

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wonderfully, amazing.

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Jackie does the best teachings, hands down.

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I've not ever been on a Saturday call,

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and it was not the best teaching, hands down.

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And I've been around this community for some years,

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and it's always fire.

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And so you definitely want to be on that.

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We have Sundays, you guys.

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So many opportunities for you to do community and do community

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well.

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And when we get to do community well,

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it is a big indicator that we will also

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be able to carry that over into marriage,

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because marriage is also community.

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It's a community of two.

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And so, yeah, let's see.

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Anytime you want to, we encourage you always

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to post, to share any question that you have,

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every question that you have, post it.

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When you go on your dates or whatever encounters

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that you have, whether it be with a date or a loved one

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or whatever you got going on, post details.

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The more details, the better.

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It helps us coach you better, so it

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won't be a lot of back and forth with minor things.

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But we can get to it, because sometimes we all have lives.

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So you may not get back to it until two days later,

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and then it was just one little question,

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and you think you're coming back for an answer,

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and you don't even have one.

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So we want to include as much detail as we can.

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When you're talking to somebody, if you

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get confused about what they're saying

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or you have any questions, just post it.

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Don't feel anxious like you have to get a response back to this guy immediately.

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It is not true.

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You do not have to give us the opportunity to help you navigate what you have going on.

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If you haven't set your dating profiles up yet and you haven't gone online dating yet,

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let us check out your profile, what you're going to write before you post it on there.

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Let us check out your photos.

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It is not a requirement, but we do want to help you navigate that and navigate it well.

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And so, yeah, I think I covered everything.

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For all of our newcomers, do you have any questions for me?

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If you want to get to your coursework, click on the course tab.

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If ever there's a time you're clicking on something, if you want to find a single city

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near you, click on the tab that says single city.

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They're going to give you a code.

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You go to that page, put that code in.

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You should be allowed in.

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If something happens where you can't get in, if you're looking for your courses and they're

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not there, go to contact or your little photo is going to drop down, contact support, and

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you want to drop a ticket about what you're experiencing.

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If you're trying to post something and your post is not coming up, like all of these things

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are things that happen, go to contact support, drop a ticket.

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And if that doesn't work for you, reach out to one of us, post it on the wall, and we'll

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be sure to help you as best we can.

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But anything that you want, you should be able to find.

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My name is Karen, not Karen from Virginia, but Karen, other Karen.

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Right.

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Okay.

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So how do we post our, how do we show you our profile?

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Because I'm on that silver singles.

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I'm not even getting one like, like not one.

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Allison either.

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You either, Allison.

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I will say I am getting them and they're fraudulent.

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So Karen, I don't know if you noticed, but they're having a matchmaker, meet the matchmaker

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next week.

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And I'm getting on because I want to know what kind of matchmakers they have at silver

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singles.

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That's a good idea.

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What are the, I missed kind of what, who, who is having the matchmakers?

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Karen, I will, I will put you, look, I'll put it in the chat.

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Okay, cool.

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And Karen to post your profile, our app didn't allow you to post like a whole lot at one

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time, I think, but you're going to have to post a picture, then screenchart your profile,

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then post it as if you were doing a post and let us check it out.

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Okay.

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I'll do that.

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Yeah.

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And the thing about it is, you know, with online dating, especially if you're not doing

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online dating before, you're leery about doing online dating, but the point is maybe

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never done it before.

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It does have ebbs and flows and it does have scammers and does have all the horrible things

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that you don't want.

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But it also has all the wonderful things that, that you didn't know were waiting for you,

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but it does help you practice really well.

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And so it does have a whole gamut of things.

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Yes.

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Nikki.

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Thank you.

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Yeah.

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So I completed the heart work before the app was made.

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I was in heart work for a really long time, which is like, okay, I'm, I did what I needed

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to do.

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It just took me a while.

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So I'm new to the app.

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I don't see anyone's posts.

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All I see is like Bethany posted the last few times.

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All I see are Bethany's posts.

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Well, okay.

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There is one from Michelle.

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Okay.

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Maybe I just didn't scroll, but this is where you would be in community.

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Maybe I was looking at announcements most of the time.

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Yeah.

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Because you know what happens is when Bethany does her post, she pins it.

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And so you have to kind of keep scrolling down to get past the pin.

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Oh, that is true.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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That makes sense.

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This is where I would ask the question and where I could see people share is in community.

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Yeah.

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Or wins.

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You can post in wins.

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You can post in, let me see.

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Can you see that?

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Oh, yeah.

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Ask a coach.

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Ask a coach.

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It will show up for the whole community to see too.

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I don't, I don't think so.

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It's okay if it does.

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I just was curious.

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I don't think it does though.

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Unless sometimes, the reason why I get confused about it, because it seems like sometimes

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a person will post in the community and then they ask a coach.

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And sometimes I can't tell if it's, but I think when you ask a coach, you post just

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in the coach, but anybody in the community can see it under that tab.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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And can we ask questions that don't have to do with dating, but like spiritual questions?

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Yes.

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So that's the thing about phase two in, we say dating for discovery, but it's discovering

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yourself all the way around.

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And so you don't have to be dating to come.

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to a coaching session, it really is literally all about you.

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OK.

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Yeah.

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OK, cool.

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Thank you so much.

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You're welcome.

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OK, ladies.

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So now that we got some of the housekeeping out of the way,

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let's just remember that when we do post,

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we want to post things if it's about another dentistry

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or some other type of, not just ministry,

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but other speakers or anything like that,

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we want to get approval from admin

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because we want to keep the community safe.

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And so we want to be mindful what we're posting.

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If it's something that you're going to attach that's

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outside of the community, not something about you,

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something outside of the community, other information.

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Let us pray.

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Jesus, I thank you for these amazing women.

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I thank you, Lord God, that we have

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things that are going to pop up on the inside of us

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that we need to ask within community

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and that we're going to have lots of solutions on tonight

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because heaven always has solutions

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for whatever we are facing.

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And so we're excited.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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Were any of you able to wear a cute dress?

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Did you find any new pruning areas?

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00:11:07.960 --> 00:11:10.040
How are we doing with our plan on pruning?

262
00:11:10.040 --> 00:11:11.480
And just to catch you up, ladies,

263
00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:13.560
we identified some things a couple of weeks

264
00:11:13.560 --> 00:11:17.160
ago that we wanted to start pruning from our life.

265
00:11:17.160 --> 00:11:20.040
So that means if we wanted to become healthier,

266
00:11:20.040 --> 00:11:21.840
maybe we were going to prune away sugar.

267
00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.120
And we came up with a plan to do that.

268
00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:27.360
Maybe we wanted to learn how to communicate more.

269
00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:31.200
We created a plan or a language to communicate

270
00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:32.120
how we feel more.

271
00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:34.480
Maybe we're going to decide that we want to be more open.

272
00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:36.040
We want to be seen, heard, and known.

273
00:11:36.040 --> 00:11:37.400
How are we going to do that?

274
00:11:37.400 --> 00:11:39.760
Maybe when someone says something to me they don't like,

275
00:11:39.760 --> 00:11:41.960
I'm going to maybe tell them, like, hey,

276
00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:43.360
I really didn't like that coming.

277
00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:44.840
I don't know why right now.

278
00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:46.960
But when I figure it out, I'll let you know.

279
00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:48.800
So maybe we want to practice more boundaries.

280
00:11:48.800 --> 00:11:50.160
Everybody has something that they

281
00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:52.240
wanted to prune in their life.

282
00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:55.000
And so tell me, ladies, how's that going?

283
00:11:57.600 --> 00:11:59.160
Karen, is your hand up?

284
00:11:59.160 --> 00:12:03.440
Is it still up from last time, or is it new?

285
00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:04.200
Oh, OK.

286
00:12:04.200 --> 00:12:06.120
Still up from last time.

287
00:12:06.120 --> 00:12:08.840
OK, cool.

288
00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:10.040
I can share.

289
00:12:10.040 --> 00:12:11.800
Go for it.

290
00:12:11.800 --> 00:12:16.760
So I said that I was going to spend more time with God.

291
00:12:16.760 --> 00:12:18.920
And I have been getting up at 5 AM.

292
00:12:19.880 --> 00:12:22.680
I have.

293
00:12:22.680 --> 00:12:28.400
And I've been doing a devotional and worshipping

294
00:12:28.400 --> 00:12:29.960
at least for 30 minutes.

295
00:12:29.960 --> 00:12:31.280
I've been doing that.

296
00:12:31.280 --> 00:12:32.080
Yes!

297
00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:36.040
And I would have to say, it's definitely, honestly,

298
00:12:36.040 --> 00:12:42.120
it's definitely affecting how I, when I go to work.

299
00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:45.720
I'm not as, like, you know, probably

300
00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:50.320
as temperamental to my kindergartner people.

301
00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:54.040
My patience is not as short.

302
00:12:54.040 --> 00:12:58.040
It's because I, you know, because I talk to Jesus first.

303
00:12:58.040 --> 00:13:00.480
So.

304
00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:02.440
Awesome, Shirai.

305
00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:04.640
We're happy for you.

306
00:13:04.640 --> 00:13:05.440
Anybody else?

307
00:13:08.800 --> 00:13:09.760
Same thing.

308
00:13:09.760 --> 00:13:11.760
So I got, good night, everyone.

309
00:13:11.760 --> 00:13:12.240
Sorry.

310
00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:15.240
I got a revelation when we were doing this.

311
00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:17.480
When we were doing the prayer call yesterday,

312
00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:20.520
how intentional it was that every, you know,

313
00:13:20.520 --> 00:13:22.240
there are four different areas that we pray,

314
00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:24.560
or five different areas every morning.

315
00:13:24.560 --> 00:13:25.960
And, you know, the Lord showed me,

316
00:13:25.960 --> 00:13:28.280
He's like, if you want to see change,

317
00:13:28.280 --> 00:13:32.240
you need to pattern your spiritual life from that call

318
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:34.280
that we make every morning at 10.

319
00:13:34.280 --> 00:13:37.320
So I intentionally got up and I did the hour,

320
00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:40.920
I had my, like, my categories, what I prayed for.

321
00:13:40.920 --> 00:13:42.840
And it was, it was really a blessing.

322
00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:44.200
It helps you with clarity,

323
00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:46.120
it makes you know what to pray about.

324
00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:47.320
So it was, it was really good.

325
00:13:47.320 --> 00:13:51.240
So I'm happy that this group is not only about marriage,

326
00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:52.080
but it helped you.

327
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:54.160
It's like an all general, you know,

328
00:13:54.160 --> 00:13:56.320
get you in every area of your life.

329
00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:57.760
So I'm really proud of that.

330
00:13:57.760 --> 00:13:58.600
Yeah.

331
00:13:58.600 --> 00:13:59.960
That's awesome, Stephanie.

332
00:13:59.960 --> 00:14:00.800
Awesome.

333
00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:02.960
Diana.

334
00:14:05.720 --> 00:14:10.720
So my son and grandson have been going to the gym

335
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.680
and they're like, well, you can come along.

336
00:14:15.680 --> 00:14:18.600
And I'm like thinking, what on earth can I do?

337
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:21.640
I've got two messed up shoulders.

338
00:14:21.640 --> 00:14:25.080
And he's like, well, you can do the elliptical.

339
00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:28.280
There's a spot where you can just hang on in the front.

340
00:14:28.280 --> 00:14:30.200
So I tried it a couple of weeks ago.

341
00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:31.040
Oh my gosh.

342
00:14:31.040 --> 00:14:33.520
And we go at five o'clock in the morning.

343
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:37.600
Within five minutes, it kicked my butt.

344
00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:40.480
Like, it hurts so bad.

345
00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:42.240
I'm so out of shape.

346
00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:45.640
So anyway, I went over to a stationary bike

347
00:14:45.640 --> 00:14:47.080
and I'm able to do that.

348
00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:49.280
So I do that three times a week

349
00:14:49.280 --> 00:14:51.640
and they have the most awesome thing.

350
00:14:51.640 --> 00:14:54.760
It's called a hydro massage bed.

351
00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:57.800
And that I love.

352
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.720
But I'm having surgery on the 21st, so I'm not going to be able to work out anymore.

353
00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:11.320
I'll be completely not able to do anything for six weeks.

354
00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:15.720
And because I'm already talking to you, I have a question.

355
00:15:15.720 --> 00:15:18.080
I went on a first date.

356
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:22.720
First time I've dated since 2009.

357
00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:23.720
Date was awesome.

358
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:24.720
Hold up, Diana.

359
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:25.720
Whoa, whoa.

360
00:15:25.720 --> 00:15:26.720
Hold up.

361
00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:27.720
I want...

362
00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:29.000
Would you keep your hand up?

363
00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.640
I'll let you go first as soon as we transition from this part.

364
00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:33.640
Okay.

365
00:15:33.640 --> 00:15:34.640
Okay.

366
00:15:34.640 --> 00:15:35.640
Does that work for you?

367
00:15:35.640 --> 00:15:36.640
Yes.

368
00:15:36.640 --> 00:15:37.640
Okay.

369
00:15:37.640 --> 00:15:38.640
Great.

370
00:15:38.640 --> 00:15:39.640
Well, soon...

371
00:15:39.640 --> 00:15:40.640
Not soon.

372
00:15:40.640 --> 00:15:41.640
We're going to transition from this part.

373
00:15:41.640 --> 00:15:44.240
I'm going to talk about one thing, and then we're going to open up the floor, and then

374
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:45.480
you're going to go first.

375
00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:46.480
So don't forget.

376
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.480
All right.

377
00:15:47.480 --> 00:15:48.480
Who else...

378
00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:53.120
Did anyone else want to share about their pruning?

379
00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:56.120
Okay.

380
00:15:56.120 --> 00:15:57.120
Next thing, Diana.

381
00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:58.120
Hold tight.

382
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.240
We want to talk about what we've been seeing in the community a lot of, which is very,

383
00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:03.240
very normal.

384
00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:07.440
And Diana, remind me, we do want to pray for you for your surgery too.

385
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:12.360
Don't let me forget.

386
00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:15.400
This idea that when I go out with...

387
00:16:15.400 --> 00:16:18.920
When I start talking to a person, I need to feel a spark.

388
00:16:18.920 --> 00:16:19.920
Who knows about the spark?

389
00:16:19.920 --> 00:16:20.920
Oh, I didn't feel anything.

390
00:16:20.920 --> 00:16:21.920
Who's looking for a spark?

391
00:16:21.920 --> 00:16:22.920
Where my spark women at?

392
00:16:22.920 --> 00:16:23.920
Wave a hand.

393
00:16:24.320 --> 00:16:25.320
Okay, Al.

394
00:16:25.320 --> 00:16:26.320
I see a spark woman here.

395
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:27.320
Spark.

396
00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:28.320
Spark.

397
00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:29.320
Got me another spark woman.

398
00:16:29.320 --> 00:16:30.320
Any more sparks?

399
00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:31.320
Yeah.

400
00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:32.320
We need some sparks.

401
00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:33.320
We need a spark.

402
00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:34.320
Who would...

403
00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:35.320
Natalie is a spark woman.

404
00:16:35.320 --> 00:16:36.320
Who can share with me what a spark is?

405
00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:37.320
Your definition of a spark.

406
00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:38.320
Just unmute and go for it, or type it in the chat.

407
00:16:38.320 --> 00:17:01.600
For me, I think it'd be kind of like, I guess, butterflies kind of feeling, like, like, wow,

408
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:02.600
kind of thing.

409
00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:03.600
Yeah.

410
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:04.599
Like, wow, kind of thing.

411
00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:05.599
All right.

412
00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:06.599
Give me some more.

413
00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:11.880
Natalie, you know I've never seen your face before.

414
00:17:11.880 --> 00:17:18.599
Because I'm usually really, really busy, and I feel bad because I don't want to have people

415
00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:29.400
see me, like, walk around, like, anyway, so I experienced a spark on Saturday night, but

416
00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:37.240
I am using good discernment because I know the difference when it's lust, and I know,

417
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:46.480
and I miss that surge of adrenaline rush that comes from my stomach to my heart and flushes

418
00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:56.680
my face out like, I've not felt that in a long time, but that doesn't mean that it's

419
00:17:56.680 --> 00:18:02.440
like, long term, and what is really, truly what I'm looking for in love, but I do think

420
00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:06.840
that having that connection in chemistry is good, but there's a difference, and it can

421
00:18:06.840 --> 00:18:07.840
be deceiving.

422
00:18:07.840 --> 00:18:16.280
Yes, yes, Coach Natalie, it can be.

423
00:18:16.280 --> 00:18:19.240
Who else wants to share about that spark?

424
00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:22.600
What's your definition of the spark, ladies?

425
00:18:22.600 --> 00:18:24.600
That's it?

426
00:18:24.600 --> 00:18:30.600
Christy, are you about to say something?

427
00:18:30.600 --> 00:18:31.600
No?

428
00:18:31.600 --> 00:18:32.600
See?

429
00:18:32.600 --> 00:18:33.600
Trouble.

430
00:18:33.600 --> 00:18:36.600
Karen says spark is trouble.

431
00:18:36.600 --> 00:18:42.760
iPhone said that commonality is my spark, all right?

432
00:18:42.760 --> 00:18:48.600
Somebody, Karen R., two Karen R's, but one of them quit looking for the spark.

433
00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:50.960
Yes, let's talk about the spark.

434
00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:55.960
It is not necessary that we ... Allison, is your hand up to say something?

435
00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:56.960
Okay.

436
00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:03.960
We got to stop looking for the spark.

437
00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:06.960
The spark can be very deceitful.

438
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:11.960
It can make us feel like, oh, this is it, but usually if you will pay attention to your

439
00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:24.320
spark, sometimes the spark is based on how a person looks, their charisma, their appeal.

440
00:19:24.320 --> 00:19:27.320
I will tell you, I have a spark.

441
00:19:27.320 --> 00:19:34.320
The finer a man is, the more my spark is, because it'd be like, oh, and if he smelled

442
00:19:34.320 --> 00:19:40.320
good, golly, he'd be sparking, and so I get a little leery about the spark.

443
00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:46.680
I would encourage you ladies not to look for a spark when you're in your two early stages

444
00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:51.680
of getting to know a person, because a spark can be deceitful, and it can really mess up

445
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:57.680
your vision, or your sight, or your ability to make sound judgment.

446
00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:59.680
You could believe so much in a spark.

447
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.080
it becomes a law for you and says, if I feel this, it must be something.

448
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:12.400
Kind of like when you start leaning heavily on, is this the Lord? I think it's the Lord's hand

449
00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:17.200
because I had a prophetic word and that prophetic word said this and that prophetic word said that.

450
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:23.920
And so you begin leaning into something, whether it's super spiritual or it is a spark represents,

451
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:30.160
I looked it up, but I'm going to tell you what A.I. said a spark was because we need to look up

452
00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:35.440
this spark. Everybody got a definition of a spark. A spark in a relationship refers to a strong

453
00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:42.640
feeling of romantic or sexual attraction, often described as a feeling of excitement,

454
00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:53.680
connection, and sometimes even infatuation. Now we got spark, usually it can manifest as physical,

455
00:20:53.680 --> 00:21:01.680
butterflies feeling turned on or emotional elation, excitement type of reactions. Essentially

456
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:08.080
it's the initial intense feeling of being drawn to someone that can ignite a potential relationship.

457
00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:12.400
Can we agree that that's what we experience?

458
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:19.520
Yeah. And so sometimes when we lean very heavily toward this type of thing,

459
00:21:19.600 --> 00:21:26.880
and we've been cultivated by society to think that this means more than it means. Very similar

460
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:33.920
when we have a lot of spiritual talk going on in our mind and we think it weighs all on this,

461
00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:39.600
this is the one, this is the one God picked. And I know it is because of this and this sign

462
00:21:39.600 --> 00:21:45.200
lined up and this lined up and that lined up. And then we forget the thing that carries it

463
00:21:45.520 --> 00:21:53.840
and it's called wisdom. We don't serve a God if we're spiritual, if this is a spiritual

464
00:21:54.800 --> 00:21:58.480
concept that we're operating, we don't serve a God who operates outside of wisdom.

465
00:21:59.760 --> 00:22:07.360
Everything he does is wisdom. And so we measure things by wisdom. If you want to know some

466
00:22:07.360 --> 00:22:14.720
measure what you have going on by wisdom, lay it in front of wisdom. Nothing's going to override

467
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:20.960
wisdom. And what you get in this program is wisdom. You get knowledge.

468
00:22:35.600 --> 00:22:36.960
Ebony, you're frozen.

469
00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:46.720
I love when she does it's a big old smile on her face.

470
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:01.360
Can she hear us, I wonder?

471
00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:06.160
I think last time this happened, she had to go out and then come back on again.

472
00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:08.640
And like somebody else became the host.

473
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:10.160
Oh, gotcha.

474
00:23:14.560 --> 00:23:23.120
Hopefully she can see the chat.

475
00:23:31.840 --> 00:23:37.040
I'm really glad we're talking about this topic tonight because that's what I'm struggling with.

476
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.920
It's hard girl, especially when you haven't felt it in a minute.

477
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.120
Oh, it's rough.

478
00:23:44.320 --> 00:23:48.080
And then when you do, you're like, no, I know what that is. And I know why,

479
00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:52.080
but I'm saying the opposite. Like I was going to talk to her about the opposite. We're like,

480
00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:57.840
I'm not feeling that spark, but I know that this is a really good guy. And I had talked to you guys

481
00:23:57.840 --> 00:24:02.720
about it last week and I'm like, trying to, I've already had four dates with him and I'm just like,

482
00:24:03.360 --> 00:24:07.040
I'll give him another chance. And this week's my birthday and he's taking me out and stuff.

483
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:11.760
And I want to give him a chance, but I'm just like, I'm not feeling it. And I'm going to

484
00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:15.680
go walking with someone right after this that I am. And I'm just like, I know.

485
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:19.280
Torn, right? Yeah, exactly.

486
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:27.120
I think, I think, you know, you don't have to feel the spark, but it shouldn't feel forced either.

487
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:32.880
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I want to be able to kiss them if I want to turn my head,

488
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:36.320
if they want to kiss me, like, that's a problem, right? Yeah. You have to have attraction,

489
00:24:36.320 --> 00:24:40.000
not necessarily a spark, but you got to be attracted. Yeah, I agree.

490
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:47.040
Can I ask is the, what do you think is the reason? Is it because maybe the conversation

491
00:24:47.600 --> 00:24:56.880
is boring or is it pure attraction or lack of? Yeah, I think he's just really passive and

492
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.400
he's a great listener, but I don't also want to be like monopolized.

493
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.200
is in the whole conversation or have it always be about me,

494
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.800
you know, and I'll ask him questions too.

495
00:25:04.800 --> 00:25:07.760
And sometimes he'll answer, but he's very quiet.

496
00:25:07.760 --> 00:25:10.600
And I can tell he's very self-conscious

497
00:25:10.600 --> 00:25:11.720
and maybe a bit insecure,

498
00:25:11.720 --> 00:25:13.280
like almost like he's walking on eggshells,

499
00:25:13.280 --> 00:25:16.040
like he doesn't want to blow it with me, you know,

500
00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:16.920
but he's Catholic.

501
00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:18.400
I don't know if you guys remember me telling you that,

502
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:22.060
like he's Catholic versus spirit-filled Christian like me.

503
00:25:22.060 --> 00:25:24.820
And I'm trying not to think too far down the line,

504
00:25:24.820 --> 00:25:26.640
but because we both are marriage-minded,

505
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:28.600
I do want to be, you know,

506
00:25:28.600 --> 00:25:29.520
oh, he just texts me right now.

507
00:25:30.040 --> 00:25:30.880
He's like, how's your day?

508
00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:33.640
You know, I do want to be, you know,

509
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:35.640
considerate of his feelings and mine,

510
00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:36.840
and I don't want to waste our time,

511
00:25:36.840 --> 00:25:38.840
but then it's like, how long do I go on like this

512
00:25:38.840 --> 00:25:41.840
without hurting him and being mindful of his feelings

513
00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:43.160
if I'm like not really sure?

514
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:44.280
So I'm almost kind of like, well,

515
00:25:44.280 --> 00:25:47.160
unless he brings it up or has that conversation,

516
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:48.560
like I think it was Aubrey,

517
00:25:48.560 --> 00:25:51.240
then I'm not doing anything wrong by seeing other people

518
00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:52.320
and just exploring my feelings.

519
00:25:52.320 --> 00:25:53.200
I'm not kissing him.

520
00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:54.120
I'm not leading him on.

521
00:25:54.120 --> 00:25:55.480
I'm not, you know what I mean?

522
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:56.700
So.

523
00:25:56.700 --> 00:25:58.340
Yeah.

524
00:25:58.340 --> 00:25:59.180
That makes sense.

525
00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:00.180
Thank you for sharing.

526
00:26:00.180 --> 00:26:01.900
Thank you for asking me.

527
00:26:01.900 --> 00:26:03.660
I hope you guys don't mind.

528
00:26:03.660 --> 00:26:06.660
You know, Natalie, I've always been interested

529
00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:10.340
in like the spark versus not feeling the spark.

530
00:26:10.340 --> 00:26:13.260
I know that there are people who have love stories

531
00:26:13.260 --> 00:26:15.500
and there wasn't a spark at the beginning,

532
00:26:15.500 --> 00:26:20.460
but a lot of times I'm led by that in dating, so.

533
00:26:20.460 --> 00:26:22.580
Yeah, Natalie, I was just going to say,

534
00:26:22.580 --> 00:26:23.980
Natalie, I was going to say, first of all,

535
00:26:23.980 --> 00:26:25.620
I've been wondering what your face looks like,

536
00:26:25.620 --> 00:26:27.460
so I'm so glad that we're seeing it today.

537
00:26:27.460 --> 00:26:29.620
Yes, you're gorgeous.

538
00:26:29.620 --> 00:26:30.460
Thanks, guys.

539
00:26:30.460 --> 00:26:31.300
I'm just with you.

540
00:26:31.300 --> 00:26:32.140
Go ahead.

541
00:26:32.140 --> 00:26:33.380
But I was also going to say,

542
00:26:33.380 --> 00:26:35.420
just even the way you're talking it through

543
00:26:35.420 --> 00:26:37.260
is so, it's what it is.

544
00:26:37.260 --> 00:26:38.100
Yeah.

545
00:26:38.100 --> 00:26:39.260
You make almost 1,500.

546
00:26:39.260 --> 00:26:41.420
That's what Natalie was talking about.

547
00:26:41.420 --> 00:26:43.380
You know, it's like, really, it was,

548
00:26:43.380 --> 00:26:45.620
and I was just thinking that it was really,

549
00:26:46.780 --> 00:26:48.060
you know, I thought it was really awesome

550
00:26:48.060 --> 00:26:50.780
that you're talking it through so beautifully.

551
00:26:50.780 --> 00:26:52.740
So you're, it's like you're there,

552
00:26:52.740 --> 00:26:54.140
you know what I mean?

553
00:26:54.180 --> 00:26:55.780
It's like you're there.

554
00:26:55.780 --> 00:26:56.620
Thanks, Karen.

555
00:26:56.620 --> 00:26:58.060
Thanks, ladies.

556
00:26:58.060 --> 00:26:59.020
I appreciate you.

557
00:26:59.020 --> 00:27:00.540
Yeah, I usually have my camera off

558
00:27:00.540 --> 00:27:01.500
because I'm doing paperwork

559
00:27:01.500 --> 00:27:03.180
because I'm technically on the clock till five,

560
00:27:03.180 --> 00:27:05.580
and then it's like, kind of like,

561
00:27:05.580 --> 00:27:06.420
I'm in the background,

562
00:27:06.420 --> 00:27:07.540
I don't like to see when people are like busy

563
00:27:07.540 --> 00:27:08.380
and things like that.

564
00:27:08.380 --> 00:27:09.220
But thank you.

565
00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:10.500
It's great to be here and connect with all of you.

566
00:27:10.500 --> 00:27:12.580
And you know, you're my sisters in Christ,

567
00:27:12.580 --> 00:27:14.460
and I just look forward to our calls together

568
00:27:14.460 --> 00:27:16.740
every Tuesday, and we have to learn from one another

569
00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:18.540
and grow from another and support each other

570
00:27:18.540 --> 00:27:19.380
in this process.

571
00:27:19.380 --> 00:27:20.980
It's really hard for me to move on to phase three,

572
00:27:20.980 --> 00:27:23.580
because I'm like, I don't want to lose Ebony either.

573
00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:29.540
I felt like that too when I was in phase one

574
00:27:29.540 --> 00:27:32.420
for Bethany, and I was like, I didn't want to leave.

575
00:27:32.420 --> 00:27:36.700
And then the Lord told me, you need to leave.

576
00:27:36.700 --> 00:27:41.140
Hey, Felicia, I think you're unmuted and don't realize it.

577
00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:45.380
I mean, I'm so sorry.

578
00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:46.460
There we go.

579
00:27:46.460 --> 00:27:47.300
Yeah.

580
00:27:47.300 --> 00:27:48.140
Go ahead, Lolita.

581
00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:52.940
Stephanie, I felt the same way.

582
00:27:53.180 --> 00:27:55.300
I didn't want to lose Bethany,

583
00:27:55.300 --> 00:27:58.820
but then moving on, Ebony's so amazing.

584
00:27:58.820 --> 00:28:01.740
Yeah, Ebony and Carla is so amazing.

585
00:28:01.740 --> 00:28:03.820
They're so different.

586
00:28:03.820 --> 00:28:06.220
Like, Bethany's so good with artwork,

587
00:28:06.220 --> 00:28:08.180
and they're so good with dating

588
00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:10.340
and like to navigate this process.

589
00:28:10.340 --> 00:28:12.020
It's like, you know, when Jackie picked them

590
00:28:12.020 --> 00:28:13.740
and set them in the, you know,

591
00:28:13.740 --> 00:28:15.740
like, you know, because I've been done

592
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:17.860
with week two for a while.

593
00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:22.900
I just, I was like, I'm afraid of the audience.

594
00:28:23.740 --> 00:28:25.940
Hey, ladies, can y'all hear me, see me?

595
00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:26.780
Oh.

596
00:28:26.780 --> 00:28:27.620
We can hear you.

597
00:28:27.620 --> 00:28:28.460
We can hear you.

598
00:28:28.460 --> 00:28:29.660
We can see you.

599
00:28:29.660 --> 00:28:30.980
Can't see me?

600
00:28:30.980 --> 00:28:31.820
No.

601
00:28:31.820 --> 00:28:32.660
No.

602
00:28:35.140 --> 00:28:35.980
Weird.

603
00:28:37.020 --> 00:28:38.660
I'm having connection issues.

604
00:28:38.660 --> 00:28:41.980
I'm so sorry, but I'm connecting on my phone now,

605
00:28:41.980 --> 00:28:44.660
so I should be able to hear you.

606
00:28:46.660 --> 00:28:48.220
Now we can hardly hear you.

607
00:28:49.220 --> 00:28:50.060
Yes.

608
00:28:50.980 --> 00:28:52.900
You're cutting, cutting in and out.

609
00:29:02.860 --> 00:29:05.140
Let's, let's just start praying.

610
00:29:05.140 --> 00:29:05.980
Is it?

611
00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:09.860
Yeah, let's just start praying for the connection.

612
00:29:10.700 --> 00:29:13.700
The Father God, in the name of Jesus Lord,

613
00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:17.100
we just take control of the airways

614
00:29:17.100 --> 00:29:19.500
in the name of Christ Jesus Lord.

615
00:29:19.500 --> 00:29:23.140
We just ask you to let Ebony come back

616
00:29:23.140 --> 00:29:25.740
through clear and sound,

617
00:29:25.740 --> 00:29:28.180
and we can see her and everything.

618
00:29:28.180 --> 00:29:31.460
And we just take, we just go against

619
00:29:31.460 --> 00:29:33.500
whatever the enemy is trying to do

620
00:29:33.500 --> 00:29:35.820
to stop her from coming to us.

621
00:29:35.820 --> 00:29:39.300
And we just, we just, we just pray for her.

622
00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:43.180
We just pray for her to stop her from helping us

623
00:29:43.180 --> 00:29:46.540
and helping us to walk through certain things.

624
00:29:46.540 --> 00:29:49.860
Lord, we just take, take our spiritual authority

625
00:29:49.860 --> 00:29:54.620
and we just cast down any fiery darts

626
00:29:54.620 --> 00:29:57.020
or anything that the enemy is trying to do

627
00:29:57.020 --> 00:30:01.340
through the airways to stop Ebony from being on.

628
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.120
that in Jesus Christ mighty name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank

629
00:30:01.340 --> 00:30:02.940
And we just thank you for that.

630
00:30:06.120 --> 00:30:09.320
you, Lolita, for taking the lead on that. Welcome.

631
00:30:13.600 --> 00:30:18.440
So can I can I share something funny? Well, it's kind of not

632
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:25.080
funny or funny. So twice, I listened to the on online

633
00:30:25.080 --> 00:30:31.320
dating course. And, and it was just both times were just before

634
00:30:31.320 --> 00:30:37.240
I went, went to bed went to sleep. And both times, all night

635
00:30:37.240 --> 00:30:46.480
long, I had nightmares of dating apps and dating and, and it was

636
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:56.000
just reoccurring, reoccurring. And yeah, it was, I'm like, Oh,

637
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.320
Lord, what is wrong with me? That's a funny, not funny,

638
00:30:59.320 --> 00:31:07.760
right? But not really. Yeah, cuz I woke up going, Oh, my gosh.

639
00:31:07.800 --> 00:31:14.800
And it was like, everything that I didn't want in a person. And

640
00:31:14.840 --> 00:31:19.000
it was weird, because at the last, just before I woke up,

641
00:31:19.600 --> 00:31:24.120
this guy in a wheelchair just popped out in front of me. And I

642
00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:28.800
just kind of went, get serious. And this is all in my dream. And

643
00:31:28.800 --> 00:31:34.680
then I wake up. Like, what is going on?

644
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:44.360
Well, we hope it didn't leave you with any trepidation about

645
00:31:44.360 --> 00:31:47.840
online dating, and that it's not a foothold or a place that

646
00:31:47.840 --> 00:31:51.360
would cause you to because maybe that's where your, your spirit

647
00:31:51.360 --> 00:31:55.920
mate is, you know, and maybe the enemy is trying to make you feel

648
00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:59.280
like don't go look down that path, you know, so we hope that

649
00:31:59.280 --> 00:32:00.680
it doesn't fill you with any fear.

650
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:06.680
Well, that was one of the you know, it's like, I haven't been

651
00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:10.760
wanting to do online dating. It's like, I'm 73. And I'm like,

652
00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:14.720
it's just, it's just, I have my own thoughts about it. But

653
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:20.160
anyway. Yesterday, I decided, okay, you know, Lord, I have a

654
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:20.640
question.

655
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:23.200
You're 73 years old?

656
00:32:23.560 --> 00:32:24.160
Yes.

657
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:25.840
You look good.

658
00:32:26.520 --> 00:32:28.760
I agree with that. You look amazing.

659
00:32:32.080 --> 00:32:34.920
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. But I just have to

660
00:32:34.920 --> 00:32:36.880
acknowledge that you look good.

661
00:32:37.840 --> 00:32:39.920
Yes, you do. I was thinking the same thing.

662
00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:42.760
Same thing, too. So beautiful.

663
00:32:45.520 --> 00:32:48.320
I feel great. Thank you.

664
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.920
And a beautiful heart for God Juanita. Beautiful heart for

665
00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:51.280
God.

666
00:32:56.440 --> 00:32:58.400
We can hear you really clearly.

667
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:00.880
One second.

668
00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:04.040
Sorry about that.

669
00:33:04.520 --> 00:33:07.280
With the lead, we can see you now too.

670
00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:10.360
We can say

671
00:33:24.560 --> 00:33:25.720
she's breaking up.

672
00:33:25.760 --> 00:33:26.120
Okay.

673
00:33:34.800 --> 00:33:37.640
The connection clear Jesus make it clear Lord.

674
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:43.400
Can y'all hear me? Is it clear now?

675
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:48.880
We can see you. Yeah, that's better.

676
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:49.480
Okay.

677
00:33:51.800 --> 00:33:54.640
Complex in the work.

678
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:56.960
It's still breaking up a little.

679
00:34:03.120 --> 00:34:04.640
Okay, what about now?

680
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.600
Well, your voice is good, but you're frozen.

681
00:34:12.360 --> 00:34:13.320
You should pull over.

682
00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:17.040
But

683
00:34:18.040 --> 00:34:19.360
you hear me?

684
00:34:21.520 --> 00:34:23.120
Nope, still breaking up.

685
00:34:25.719 --> 00:34:28.520
Oh, sorry.

686
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:32.520
You're loud, but it's

687
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:34.520
low.

688
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:40.520
So you can hear me, but I'm going in and out.

689
00:34:40.679 --> 00:34:45.320
Yeah, a lot too on mine. You're very loud. But but then right on

690
00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:50.040
the top of your picture, it says that your bandwidth is low. Yeah.

691
00:34:53.880 --> 00:34:58.120
Am I making complete sentences? Like, can you completely understand me or no?

692
00:34:58.520 --> 00:34:59.920
You just hear those.

693
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.560
That's to breaking up.

694
00:35:05.560 --> 00:35:08.200
I hear some sentences.

695
00:35:08.200 --> 00:35:12.760
You may want to turn off your camera.

696
00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:19.840
That does help with.

697
00:35:19.840 --> 00:35:24.600
I wonder if we restart the session.

698
00:35:24.600 --> 00:35:35.800
If it'll help.

699
00:35:35.800 --> 00:35:50.200
It might.

700
00:35:50.200 --> 00:35:55.200
I think she's the only one who can like restart it though.

701
00:35:55.200 --> 00:35:59.720
Yeah, I think so.

702
00:35:59.720 --> 00:36:11.920
Yeah, because she's the host. Yeah.

703
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:24.920
It looks like Karen is the host. I was going to say when she jumped off, I became the host so I can let everybody back in if you guys want to leave and then come back in. I don't know.

704
00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:30.920
Do you want to try it, but try and leave and come back.

705
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:41.920
I'll do this. All right. I don't know if that'll help us because we're not having the issue.

706
00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:45.920
Can y'all hear me? Yes. Yes.

707
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:50.920
Am I complete sentences? Yes. Yes. Oh, great.

708
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:58.920
Yay. Yay. I'm going to stop on the side of the road right here and everybody comes and we'll tell them to go around me.

709
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:10.520
At any point of you guys can hear my emergency lights on wherever they are. Any point of you can't hear me. Somebody just get my attention and tell me.

710
00:37:10.520 --> 00:37:15.720
Okay, so, Ebony, I was given the host. I'm going to make you the host again.

711
00:37:15.720 --> 00:37:21.720
Okay, go for it. Okay, there you go.

712
00:37:21.720 --> 00:37:28.720
Thank you all so much for planning and hanging in here. I'm so sorry that this has happened.

713
00:37:28.720 --> 00:37:43.720
So, I'm not going to talk anymore about the spark. We'll catch up about the spark. I want to give you guys an opportunity to ask your questions and we're going to start with the first person who I told them to keep their hand up. Diana.

714
00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:52.720
Okay, and I have to apologize because I think that this is the enemy messing with me and you.

715
00:37:53.720 --> 00:38:10.720
So, on another date, a week ago Sunday, and the date itself went great. He was exactly what he was supposed to look like. Everything matched.

716
00:38:10.720 --> 00:38:27.720
And my singles group at church were so freaked out thinking that he was going to take me off somewhere and harm me. And oh gosh, it was crazy the stuff that they were saying.

717
00:38:27.720 --> 00:38:31.720
My son drove me because I can't drive right now.

718
00:38:32.720 --> 00:38:53.720
The gentleman lives an hour away. So, we met halfway and the minute he hugged me, it was like, well, we're talking fireworks, not just a spark.

719
00:38:53.720 --> 00:39:20.720
And I was like, is this because I have not been on a date since 2009? But no, I'm pretty sure it was the spirit of lust. And when I started to talk about it on one of the prayer calls in the morning, the minute the host tried to talk to me about it, I lost my internet.

720
00:39:21.720 --> 00:39:38.720
I didn't hear a word she said. She explained it, she prayed over me. I was cut off for a good 15 minutes and missed that much of the call. And now I want to talk about it again and you get bumped off.

721
00:39:38.720 --> 00:39:55.720
So anyway, he did say something to me that has really bothered me. I explained to him I was having surgery on the 21st. We talked about it before the date.

722
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.880
Front about everything. He asked me if I was religious. I

723
00:40:04.720 --> 00:40:06.720
said no, I

724
00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:09.120
Don't consider myself religious. I

725
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.800
Have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ

726
00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:18.320
He's my Lord and Savior I go to church I

727
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.760
You know, I I talked to him about some of the miracles that I've experienced in my life

728
00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:29.640
But I do not think of myself as a religious because

729
00:40:31.120 --> 00:40:35.160
Wasn't it to the religious that crucified Jesus? Well anyway

730
00:40:37.080 --> 00:40:39.080
He told me

731
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:47.440
That he thought that I was making false representation of myself

732
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:49.960
Representation of myself

733
00:40:50.760 --> 00:40:56.680
Because I'm going to be out of commission for six weeks with a sling I will not be able to

734
00:40:58.360 --> 00:41:00.360
Use my arm at all and

735
00:41:01.600 --> 00:41:07.760
My son as lovingly wonderful as he is does not feel like calling me

736
00:41:10.040 --> 00:41:11.720
40 minutes

737
00:41:11.720 --> 00:41:13.520
one way and

738
00:41:13.520 --> 00:41:15.520
hanging around while I

739
00:41:15.680 --> 00:41:21.200
Meet this guy, so I suggested that he maybe would want to come and see me

740
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:28.720
And he he said I shouldn't be on a dating site at all if I cannot

741
00:41:30.680 --> 00:41:35.000
Meet halfway and it just it really made me feel awful

742
00:41:38.600 --> 00:41:40.600
So help honey

743
00:41:40.600 --> 00:41:45.680
Oh, yeah, how long have you been talking to this guy?

744
00:41:49.720 --> 00:41:52.320
Wednesday let's say once no today's Tuesday

745
00:41:53.800 --> 00:41:55.800
Tomorrow will be a

746
00:41:56.120 --> 00:42:03.920
Week X. I started talking to him on Wednesday went on the date on the Sunday. So what it'll be two weeks

747
00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:07.280
right and

748
00:42:07.800 --> 00:42:09.800
You've already seen him once right?

749
00:42:11.600 --> 00:42:17.840
Mm-hmm. Okay, and and y'all were talking about seeing each other again

750
00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:24.480
Yeah, except for he doesn't want to drive all this way to see me

751
00:42:25.640 --> 00:42:27.640
And how far is all this way?

752
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:30.480
It's a little over an hour

753
00:42:31.040 --> 00:42:34.120
Okay, and last time y'all met in the middle

754
00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:40.320
Yeah, and we went a little bit further but Chris my son was okay with that

755
00:42:41.520 --> 00:42:46.600
Okay, and why did that y'all want a little bit further because that's where the Nick like town stuff was it?

756
00:42:47.320 --> 00:42:51.640
Yeah, we're we're outside of Nashville. So we met in Nashville

757
00:42:52.720 --> 00:42:54.720
Got you

758
00:42:55.840 --> 00:42:58.040
Yeah, what do you like about this guy

759
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:03.360
I'd like what he does believe in God

760
00:43:04.120 --> 00:43:09.360
Does not attend church, but said that you know, he does talk to him in

761
00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:16.760
I'd like his stance on

762
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:19.800
world events politics

763
00:43:21.320 --> 00:43:23.400
His sense of humor is really great

764
00:43:24.560 --> 00:43:26.560
There's been no

765
00:43:27.160 --> 00:43:29.160
It has not been difficult to talk

766
00:43:30.040 --> 00:43:38.040
Whereas a lot of people it's like pulling teeth. It's like you can't even get past low. Hey

767
00:43:39.200 --> 00:43:40.760
You know

768
00:43:40.760 --> 00:43:42.760
There's full sentences

769
00:43:42.840 --> 00:43:44.840
We've talked on the phone

770
00:43:47.680 --> 00:43:49.680
He loves animals

771
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:53.120
He's especially funny when he talks to his dog

772
00:43:54.440 --> 00:43:56.440
You know, yeah

773
00:43:56.600 --> 00:43:58.560
It's got a good job

774
00:43:58.600 --> 00:44:02.240
he's a professional drummer in a band and

775
00:44:02.840 --> 00:44:08.960
I've seen his recordings, you know, and then like I said everything matched up

776
00:44:10.120 --> 00:44:12.120
Yes

777
00:44:13.600 --> 00:44:15.600
Yeah

778
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:22.720
So it sounds like he he seems like a great guy to you like you are impressed with him

779
00:44:23.960 --> 00:44:25.320
Yeah

780
00:44:25.320 --> 00:44:27.320
Yeah

781
00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:30.440
What does he like about you what is he sure he likes about you

782
00:44:31.800 --> 00:44:35.560
The the fact that he can talk to me about just about anything

783
00:44:36.520 --> 00:44:38.520
Yes, he did

784
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:43.320
He did get a little freaked out one night. We were talking about

785
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:48.160
Different

786
00:44:48.160 --> 00:44:51.840
evangelists and pastors and stuff that are on TV and

787
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:54.480
and then he

788
00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:59.760
Mentioned that he thought there was one that he thought was demonic and I'm like

789
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.540
You know, what makes you think that and he said, Oh, he speaks in those tongues.

790
00:45:06.540 --> 00:45:10.460
And I went, Oh, really?

791
00:45:10.460 --> 00:45:14.540
I said, Okay, look, there are demonic tongues.

792
00:45:14.540 --> 00:45:17.540
Yes, that that is true.

793
00:45:17.540 --> 00:45:21.180
But there's also the gift of tongues that comes from God.

794
00:45:21.180 --> 00:45:23.180
He goes, What?

795
00:45:23.180 --> 00:45:24.180
Really?

796
00:45:24.180 --> 00:45:25.820
I said, Yeah.

797
00:45:25.820 --> 00:45:27.940
And he said, And you know this?

798
00:45:27.940 --> 00:45:28.940
Why?

799
00:45:28.940 --> 00:45:32.220
I said, Because I have that gift.

800
00:45:32.220 --> 00:45:34.460
And it is a gift.

801
00:45:34.460 --> 00:45:39.260
And then he, you could just tell he didn't believe me.

802
00:45:39.260 --> 00:45:43.460
So he's like, Well, what do you say?

803
00:45:43.460 --> 00:45:48.420
And I said, Well, it's a conversation between the Holy Spirit and God.

804
00:45:48.420 --> 00:45:49.420
On my behalf.

805
00:45:49.420 --> 00:45:51.220
It's not anything I understand.

806
00:45:51.220 --> 00:45:53.460
That's another gift.

807
00:45:53.460 --> 00:45:57.460
Interpretation of tongues is not one of the gifts that I happen to have.

808
00:45:57.460 --> 00:46:02.740
Anyway, he freaked for a few minutes.

809
00:46:02.740 --> 00:46:05.220
And I said, Is this going to be a problem?

810
00:46:05.220 --> 00:46:07.780
Because this is who I am.

811
00:46:07.780 --> 00:46:09.700
And that was another thing I liked about him.

812
00:46:09.700 --> 00:46:16.940
He's very honest upfront, told me if there were no sparks that we would just be friends

813
00:46:16.940 --> 00:46:18.220
and that would be it.

814
00:46:18.220 --> 00:46:22.380
But we both agreed there was more than sparks.

815
00:46:22.380 --> 00:46:26.060
Well, anyway, um, yeah.

816
00:46:26.060 --> 00:46:33.140
So I made no apologies for the fact that I love God.

817
00:46:33.140 --> 00:46:36.180
He is everything to me.

818
00:46:36.180 --> 00:46:40.940
I let him know right up front that I'm not going to stop going to church.

819
00:46:40.940 --> 00:46:49.740
I'm not going to stop having my every morning phone calls and my Sunday night calls my Tuesday

820
00:46:49.740 --> 00:46:54.580
night calls and God is always going to be a part of my life.

821
00:46:55.580 --> 00:46:58.580
It's like, how do you like now?

822
00:46:58.580 --> 00:46:59.580
Yeah.

823
00:46:59.580 --> 00:47:05.420
And so what do you think about and there's a reason like I generally you guys have been

824
00:47:05.420 --> 00:47:09.740
on call for I've not taken this much time to explore but I think it's really important

825
00:47:09.740 --> 00:47:15.580
sometimes that we identify why we like a person if they also like us and will have they shown

826
00:47:15.580 --> 00:47:20.660
us the reason why they like us so that we can also be clear about when we make decisions

827
00:47:20.660 --> 00:47:23.860
and not live in regret.

828
00:47:23.940 --> 00:47:27.820
So in order to do those, you have to identify all the moving parts.

829
00:47:27.820 --> 00:47:33.340
So you won't feel like you're missing out on something when you have to set a boundary.

830
00:47:33.340 --> 00:47:37.940
You're very aware of how they're making you feel while they're making why they make you

831
00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:40.700
feel that way, right?

832
00:47:40.700 --> 00:47:46.780
It's a big deal that you know that because you're going to feel like you're losing and

833
00:47:46.780 --> 00:47:50.820
you can't even identify why you feel like you're losing something.

834
00:47:50.820 --> 00:47:54.260
And so now I want to ask you.

835
00:47:54.260 --> 00:48:01.220
So how are you processing what he said to you that you were a fraud that you should

836
00:48:01.220 --> 00:48:05.380
have never showed up that way and that he is no longer interested in getting to know

837
00:48:05.380 --> 00:48:13.900
you because you can't meet him halfway in light of all the things you said he was or

838
00:48:13.900 --> 00:48:18.260
you think he is and then that's what he said to you in return.

839
00:48:18.260 --> 00:48:25.140
What do you make of that, Diane?

840
00:48:25.140 --> 00:48:34.820
I think he's more up in the world than I am, could be that unequally yoked.

841
00:48:34.820 --> 00:48:44.500
He also does not understand that there will be no sex unless we're married.

842
00:48:44.500 --> 00:48:46.500
He's like, well, that's unrealistic.

843
00:48:46.500 --> 00:48:50.500
I said, maybe for you.

844
00:48:50.500 --> 00:48:51.500
Yeah.

845
00:48:51.500 --> 00:48:56.900
So as you can see, Diana, as we're processing ladies, and I hope that you're processing

846
00:48:56.900 --> 00:49:02.020
along with us and it's just, you know, we're taking our time processing it, but you know,

847
00:49:02.020 --> 00:49:07.300
there were a lot of wonderful things you said about him, but I noticed that you were defending

848
00:49:07.300 --> 00:49:09.660
your belief and I'm not going to leave this alone.

849
00:49:09.660 --> 00:49:10.660
I'm not going to leave this alone.

850
00:49:10.660 --> 00:49:11.660
And how do you like me now?

851
00:49:11.660 --> 00:49:18.340
Um, but when it, but also in the same brief you're saying to me, you know, I like he's

852
00:49:18.340 --> 00:49:21.980
not in church, but he like God, I speak in tongues.

853
00:49:21.980 --> 00:49:22.980
He thinks that's demonic.

854
00:49:22.980 --> 00:49:29.340
He didn't understand that we're not going to have sex before marriage.

855
00:49:29.340 --> 00:49:33.260
And so I want you to see how these worlds are colliding.

856
00:49:33.260 --> 00:49:35.620
Yeah.

857
00:49:35.620 --> 00:49:36.620
Like a brick wall.

858
00:49:36.620 --> 00:49:42.460
And there's a collision happening here and it's happening very early on.

859
00:49:42.460 --> 00:49:51.820
And I think it's to your benefit because when a person says to you that you deceived me

860
00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:56.220
and you're having surgery, so now I can't see you.

861
00:49:56.220 --> 00:49:58.040
So that's the case.

862
00:49:58.040 --> 00:49:59.820
If he feels that that's an issue.

863
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.160
then that tells you that he's not willing to go through that process and they should speak

864
00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:14.160
something to you like oh okay you have that choice and i understand and it was a pleasure

865
00:50:14.160 --> 00:50:22.000
getting to know you that's exactly what i said yeah yeah i told them i said you are free to date

866
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:30.160
other people you know this is there's nothing that said who is why we're really really like you

867
00:50:30.160 --> 00:50:34.880
and i'm like well what's not to like right

868
00:50:37.200 --> 00:50:44.560
two irons to be um be um and i mean you did really well i think you stay true to who you are

869
00:50:44.560 --> 00:50:49.920
you've expressed yourself very clearly and when we stay true to who we are we express who we are

870
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:54.560
we have to also do the due diligence recognize when that person is not aligned with who we are

871
00:50:56.320 --> 00:50:59.920
it's a yes until it's a no and when a person says hey

872
00:51:02.080 --> 00:51:03.600
i do six before marriage

873
00:51:08.080 --> 00:51:16.080
that's like a that's an inner heart thing that's a that's an inner thing that's not a

874
00:51:16.160 --> 00:51:17.520
well i'm not going to do it with you

875
00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:26.480
you're talking to him somebody's gonna cave in and if that's your stand that's a deal breaker

876
00:51:26.480 --> 00:51:31.600
that's a strong deal that's a non-negotiable and so when it comes down to stuff like that

877
00:51:31.600 --> 00:51:37.840
but even furthermore you're just on the first week so that means we were talking too much

878
00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:44.320
that we started talking about things that were not talkable for the first week

879
00:51:45.120 --> 00:51:50.640
and that can happen one way is that we like them so much we spend so much time talking

880
00:51:50.640 --> 00:51:55.840
then we start talking about deeper things and that's the that's the kind of the dangerous spot

881
00:51:55.840 --> 00:52:02.720
of talking too much too soon too quickly you run out of other stuff to talk about

882
00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:06.800
and so what we want to do is pace how much we talk even though we really like each other

883
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:11.040
we're super excited and it's so easy to do everybody's done it i've done it i don't know

884
00:52:11.040 --> 00:52:17.200
there's a woman on the call who has not done it that's just a part of it having to pace yourself

885
00:52:17.200 --> 00:52:21.360
and he's really good practice for you diana because you stand firm on what you believe in

886
00:52:22.160 --> 00:52:27.600
and so when you have that part down pack you could practice you get more practice in it so

887
00:52:27.600 --> 00:52:34.480
you can say oh i see what i did this time i will not practice that next time and so we want to

888
00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:40.160
stick with the boundaries that we talked about in the um the video we don't want to talk about

889
00:52:40.160 --> 00:52:47.360
too much of emotional things too much private stuff too much spiritual stuff and too um we don't

890
00:52:47.360 --> 00:52:53.760
want to talk about sex definitely um but spiritual emotional boundaries we want to hit them really

891
00:52:53.760 --> 00:53:00.320
really hard and then if a comment is made you just always say oh that's an idea lord that's

892
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:03.680
not something i'm comfortable talking about it's just going to get to know you as a person

893
00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:08.800
and then we want to and i'm just throwing out all these ideas like you want to go on google

894
00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:12.320
you want to google questions to talk about on the first date

895
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:19.760
icebreaker questions this is not a lame thing this is a real thing because i do it a lot

896
00:53:23.520 --> 00:53:25.760
i have always been my go-to

897
00:53:28.640 --> 00:53:32.800
now i want to hit this wire anyway i know we got other ones that we're not going to cut it

898
00:53:32.800 --> 00:53:37.040
out at the original time ladies but it's really important when you first get out in dating

899
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:44.080
some people think well i'm just a deep deep thinker i'm just a deep type of person and i

900
00:53:44.080 --> 00:53:52.400
want us to commit this uh to our memories even as a law if you must we don't spill our pearl before

901
00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:58.800
swine you have community to give your wisdom to but i would encourage every person just as

902
00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:04.640
the scripture encourages us not to spill our pearl before swine don't pour out your goods before the

903
00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:08.800
before a person that you don't know who have the ability to steward well what you're sharing with

904
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:13.920
them you don't even know if they carry a value for what you have and so you don't just spill it

905
00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:18.960
out not with the man not with a woman on your job not with somebody on the street anywhere because

906
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:24.400
the bible warns us against spilling our pearls before swine means he says when you do it they

907
00:54:24.400 --> 00:54:32.800
will trample over it and so that's how you apply wisdom to this idea that just i'm just deep like

908
00:54:32.800 --> 00:54:42.080
that no that's not wisdom that's what you're operating you're not operating in wisdom because

909
00:54:42.080 --> 00:54:47.280
no matter how deep you are you have to take deep and put a wall around it called wisdom

910
00:54:48.560 --> 00:54:55.360
we build healthy connections by pacing ourselves i don't care who the person is

911
00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:59.920
healthy connections are built in pacing i know everybody has met somebody

912
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.000
at it that you thought was like, wow, I thought I knew him a little better than that.

913
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:06.000
She came out so different.

914
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:08.320
I didn't know she was like that.

915
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:11.160
It's the same thing.

916
00:55:11.160 --> 00:55:14.680
Relationships are relationships.

917
00:55:14.680 --> 00:55:22.440
And relationships are built best on best practices.

918
00:55:22.440 --> 00:55:25.640
And so we want to stay away from the deep very early on.

919
00:55:25.640 --> 00:55:33.080
Sounds good, but you did a really good job, Diane, and I just, I'm so glad you shared

920
00:55:33.080 --> 00:55:35.080
first, and I'm so glad we were able to break that down.

921
00:55:35.080 --> 00:55:37.080
That was really, really, really, really good.

922
00:55:37.080 --> 00:55:38.080
It was really, really good.

923
00:55:38.080 --> 00:55:39.080
Thank you.

924
00:55:39.080 --> 00:55:40.080
Yeah.

925
00:55:40.080 --> 00:55:46.080
And so have you blocked and blessed them?

926
00:55:46.080 --> 00:55:47.680
Yeah.

927
00:55:47.680 --> 00:55:56.240
So do you feel that I should, for the next six weeks after the surgery, just not even

928
00:55:56.240 --> 00:56:02.240
try to date, or?

929
00:56:03.240 --> 00:56:09.240
Give me one second.

930
00:56:09.240 --> 00:56:11.240
Okay.

931
00:56:11.240 --> 00:56:23.240
What he said to you is not true.

932
00:56:23.240 --> 00:56:25.240
You're not being deceitful.

933
00:56:25.240 --> 00:56:27.240
Let's just take care of that lie.

934
00:56:27.240 --> 00:56:29.240
That's not true.

935
00:56:29.240 --> 00:56:31.240
Okay.

936
00:56:31.240 --> 00:56:37.240
However, you're not going to be able to, you can video call somebody.

937
00:56:37.240 --> 00:56:40.240
So if you're having surgery and you still want to spray, you can let them know, like,

938
00:56:40.240 --> 00:56:42.240
hey, we could do a video call.

939
00:56:42.240 --> 00:56:43.240
So you can do that.

940
00:56:43.240 --> 00:56:44.240
That's an option.

941
00:56:44.240 --> 00:56:50.240
But you do realize that that's going to prolong you, you actually meeting that person in person,

942
00:56:50.240 --> 00:56:53.240
because you won't be able to drive for the next six weeks, is that right?

943
00:56:53.240 --> 00:56:57.240
And so, but you can video message.

944
00:56:58.240 --> 00:57:04.240
It's nothing wrong with that, if a person is in agreement with it.

945
00:57:04.240 --> 00:57:10.240
So, you're on mute because I have to mute everybody.

946
00:57:10.240 --> 00:57:16.240
But, yeah, that wasn't right, the way he treated you.

947
00:57:16.240 --> 00:57:18.240
How about I'm just going to put that out there.

948
00:57:18.240 --> 00:57:19.240
That wasn't right.

949
00:57:19.240 --> 00:57:20.240
You weren't being deceitful.

950
00:57:20.240 --> 00:57:24.240
And another thing, you guys, I just want to add this, and we're going to move on.

951
00:57:25.240 --> 00:57:31.240
If you hug somebody and you realize that when you hug them, that there was a spirit of lust,

952
00:57:31.240 --> 00:57:35.240
it won't be long before you caught up in their spirit of lust,

953
00:57:35.240 --> 00:57:39.240
because lust has a way of drawing you in, and it feels so good.

954
00:57:39.240 --> 00:57:46.240
And if you have been touched or had skin contact with a man in a very long time, it feels good.

955
00:57:46.240 --> 00:57:52.240
So I don't know how you're going to guard yourself against a fire that you were aware of,

956
00:57:52.240 --> 00:57:55.240
because you are sure to be burned.

957
00:57:55.240 --> 00:58:02.240
And when you recognize that this man was operating in the spirit of lust,

958
00:58:02.240 --> 00:58:07.240
there may have been an indication to you that you may not want to invite him to your home.

959
00:58:07.240 --> 00:58:09.240
Let's say that.

960
00:58:09.240 --> 00:58:10.240
Okay.

961
00:58:10.240 --> 00:58:12.240
And so he's like, hey, you can come over here and see me.

962
00:58:12.240 --> 00:58:14.240
Maybe not so wise.

963
00:58:14.240 --> 00:58:18.240
Even if you decide to keep talking to him when you hooked him and he had lust on him,

964
00:58:18.240 --> 00:58:25.240
you don't want to get caught up in tight spaces.

965
00:58:25.240 --> 00:58:27.240
Okay.

966
00:58:27.240 --> 00:58:30.240
If you decide to proceed.

967
00:58:30.240 --> 00:58:31.240
All right.

968
00:58:31.240 --> 00:58:33.240
I don't know who was next.

969
00:58:33.240 --> 00:58:40.240
Just unmute and go for it, because I got a little disjointed.

970
00:58:40.240 --> 00:58:41.240
Okay.

971
00:58:41.240 --> 00:58:43.240
Can I ask a quick question, Ebony?

972
00:58:43.240 --> 00:58:46.240
This is Allison.

973
00:58:46.240 --> 00:58:48.240
First of all, thank you so much.

974
00:58:48.240 --> 00:58:55.240
Last week you talked about I was telling you a lot of the men that I get have fish in their hands and all that.

975
00:58:55.240 --> 00:58:59.240
And you said you don't know if he's fishing because he hadn't met you.

976
00:58:59.240 --> 00:59:01.240
That unlocks something in me.

977
00:59:01.240 --> 00:59:02.240
Seriously.

978
00:59:02.240 --> 00:59:07.240
So I said this week I'm talking to every man that will talk to me.

979
00:59:07.240 --> 00:59:12.240
But one man, this is my question, and I wonder if other women have had it.

980
00:59:12.240 --> 00:59:14.240
One man found me.

981
00:59:14.240 --> 00:59:17.240
I wasn't matched with him, and he's a farmer.

982
00:59:17.240 --> 00:59:21.240
And he proceeded, seems like a good guy.

983
00:59:21.240 --> 00:59:26.240
He proceeded to tell me when his wife died and, you know, was very honest.

984
00:59:26.240 --> 00:59:31.240
And he said, you seem like from your profile you're very honest, and I am.

985
00:59:31.240 --> 00:59:38.240
But the deal is the one career I've told the Lord my entire life is I don't want to be a farmer.

986
00:59:39.240 --> 00:59:42.240
And I truly don't want to be a farmer.

987
00:59:42.240 --> 00:59:44.240
But I said, hang with it.

988
00:59:44.240 --> 00:59:47.240
This could be like a fishing story.

989
00:59:47.240 --> 00:59:53.240
But then he proceeded to say, because he's volunteering, I'm not asking him.

990
00:59:53.240 --> 00:59:57.240
But he said, you know, I go to a country church of about 80.

991
00:59:57.240 --> 01:00:00.240
My church is about 1,500, and it's very honest.

992
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.640
diverse and I but I still rode with it and I said this is not a good match and he's I can tell he's

993
01:00:06.640 --> 01:00:13.280
a good guy and then he said I said he said what do you love to do and I said travel that's what

994
01:00:13.280 --> 01:00:19.040
I want to do and he said yeah I like to go you know to towns over but then I like to come home

995
01:00:19.040 --> 01:00:28.720
to my farm so after all of that because I don't want to lead a man on when you know if there's

996
01:00:28.720 --> 01:00:34.480
unless there is a burning bush in my front yard and the lord said he's the man he is not my man

997
01:00:35.440 --> 01:00:42.000
so I blessed him I said a blessing over him because he's a godly guy and I said but you

998
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:47.360
know what I don't think we have a future and I moved on was that okay

999
01:00:47.360 --> 01:00:59.120
did he live close to you huh did he live close to you oh probably yeah he was talking about

1000
01:00:59.120 --> 01:01:05.920
going to a church that's probably 20 minutes from my home but but no he doesn't he's probably an

1001
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:12.480
hour away but he said yeah come into town and go to this church sometimes but his church isn't

1002
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:19.920
he said a country church of 80 people and I go to a church of about 1500 and I love it

1003
01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:29.600
right so yeah trying to be open-minded you did good bites but okay you did good I would have

1004
01:01:29.600 --> 01:01:35.840
liked you to get a date out of it but you did good like you know why are you gonna date someone you

1005
01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:44.640
know because you're dating for discovery you are not dating for a spouse and I know you probably

1006
01:01:44.640 --> 01:01:49.200
feel like that you don't have time for that you handle it well I'm very proud of you for stepping

1007
01:01:49.200 --> 01:01:53.760
out I like your idea about my talk to whoever will talk to me but when you ask me about my

1008
01:01:53.760 --> 01:01:58.560
own little thing on the inside I'm like Allison get a cup of coffee out of it I just want you

1009
01:01:58.560 --> 01:02:04.880
to have the date I don't believe I'm gonna be honest with you I don't agree with the idea that

1010
01:02:04.880 --> 01:02:09.680
I could lead a person on it from being up front and so my conversation will be like you seem like

1011
01:02:09.680 --> 01:02:14.720
a great guy I don't think we'll be a match for the future but if you ever want to grab a cup of

1012
01:02:14.720 --> 01:02:21.600
coffee I'm down for it something like that but I don't believe that you're going to take advantage

1013
01:02:21.600 --> 01:02:29.200
of somebody emotionally emotionally because when we are clear we are kind but if you have to say

1014
01:02:29.280 --> 01:02:32.480
you did good I like that you're talking about I liked it when you kept hanging on

1015
01:02:32.480 --> 01:02:37.200
and they're like let me just see let me just see now our science pointed that y'all wasn't

1016
01:02:37.200 --> 01:02:46.240
gonna land it real well but I want you on a date and you're gonna date you're gonna date

1017
01:02:46.240 --> 01:02:54.720
people that are not gonna be your spouse it can't be one be your spouse one of them right

1018
01:02:55.680 --> 01:03:06.240
and I want you in the day when he says you know my favorite places with my animals in the barn

1019
01:03:08.320 --> 01:03:12.960
but hear me safe date safe date

1020
01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:21.840
safe meaning to date safe meaning to date they can hold a conversation to date

1021
01:03:22.400 --> 01:03:32.400
to date to date did you hear me I did so I can't go to the third part until I have a date

1022
01:03:32.960 --> 01:03:39.200
I hear you that's not true you can go to the part where you have a date with my elephant

1023
01:03:39.200 --> 01:03:45.280
but when you identify a man that y'all may not match I really want you to let this sink in

1024
01:03:45.280 --> 01:03:49.920
I'm telling you when you get to the other side of the program you're gonna say I see what they

1025
01:03:49.920 --> 01:03:55.200
were talking about it took me a while to come through the ringer to get there but it really

1026
01:03:55.200 --> 01:04:00.800
does work and I had to learn how to pick me I got like you I'm like look whoever talked to me I'm

1027
01:04:00.800 --> 01:04:06.240
talking to and if they got some sense I'm gonna go on a date with them and that's how my dating

1028
01:04:06.240 --> 01:04:12.960
life start picking up okay um I'm very much trapped in the mindset what's my time for I

1029
01:04:12.960 --> 01:04:20.000
already know when you're gonna work everything in Jacob will be like look you need to go on a date

1030
01:04:21.120 --> 01:04:26.880
well and I'm not thinking that I don't want to lead someone on honestly that's not thought

1031
01:04:27.840 --> 01:04:34.400
you won't you won't okay you need to just stay clear and remember that clarity is kindness

1032
01:04:34.400 --> 01:04:39.760
and that don't be under the assumption that another adult can't make decision for themselves

1033
01:04:40.480 --> 01:04:47.680
okay we okay that's you're welcome

1034
01:04:54.480 --> 01:04:59.440
um okay I actually have two questions ebony um one is

1035
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.840
Thank you, I have started going online.

1036
01:05:02.840 --> 01:05:07.840
I have a few guys who I am kind of sort of chatting with.

1037
01:05:09.120 --> 01:05:12.160
What's really curious is the one that is,

1038
01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:13.840
came out and said, I'm a Christian.

1039
01:05:13.840 --> 01:05:16.720
He like gave me a lot of information.

1040
01:05:16.720 --> 01:05:17.560
He really did.

1041
01:05:17.560 --> 01:05:22.440
It was like a book along with his Facebook profile

1042
01:05:22.440 --> 01:05:23.720
and everything else like that.

1043
01:05:23.720 --> 01:05:27.640
It was a lot, but he seemed,

1044
01:05:27.640 --> 01:05:29.640
then said he would like to maybe meet

1045
01:05:29.640 --> 01:05:31.720
or text or call.

1046
01:05:31.720 --> 01:05:36.400
And so I am listening and saying, okay, we wanna meet.

1047
01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:38.560
But then he backed off of that

1048
01:05:38.560 --> 01:05:41.360
and then went back into, okay, let's call,

1049
01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:42.320
which I was fine.

1050
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:44.680
But I then kind of said, well, yes, we can call

1051
01:05:44.680 --> 01:05:47.560
or maybe an online, maybe a face chat,

1052
01:05:47.560 --> 01:05:48.960
you know, maybe.

1053
01:05:48.960 --> 01:05:53.920
And he is like not wanting to do any chatting

1054
01:05:53.920 --> 01:05:54.840
like face to face.

1055
01:05:54.840 --> 01:05:58.200
And so that was just kind of like a moment

1056
01:05:58.240 --> 01:06:00.640
because once again, he gave so much information

1057
01:06:00.640 --> 01:06:03.560
and he seems pretty solid,

1058
01:06:03.560 --> 01:06:06.280
but I just kind of wanted to hear your feedback for that.

1059
01:06:06.280 --> 01:06:09.160
And then, you know, I've got another question too.

1060
01:06:09.160 --> 01:06:10.600
Have you been talking to him?

1061
01:06:12.480 --> 01:06:13.920
Yeah, we just started chatting.

1062
01:06:13.920 --> 01:06:16.200
I mean, literally I just filled out everything online

1063
01:06:16.200 --> 01:06:18.040
a couple of, a day or so ago.

1064
01:06:18.040 --> 01:06:20.560
So he popped up about a day or so ago.

1065
01:06:20.560 --> 01:06:21.480
So yeah.

1066
01:06:23.440 --> 01:06:24.280
Okay.

1067
01:06:25.520 --> 01:06:27.600
So you started talking to him yesterday

1068
01:06:27.920 --> 01:06:28.760
or the day before yesterday?

1069
01:06:28.760 --> 01:06:30.040
Yesterday.

1070
01:06:30.040 --> 01:06:30.880
Yes.

1071
01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:32.760
And how much have y'all talked in that time?

1072
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:36.720
I mean, have y'all voice call or in chat?

1073
01:06:36.720 --> 01:06:39.160
No, we haven't done anything yet.

1074
01:06:39.160 --> 01:06:44.160
And one of the things that happened was actually that he,

1075
01:06:46.600 --> 01:06:49.840
that because of today, we would have called today,

1076
01:06:49.840 --> 01:06:53.120
but it was running so late after I got my daughter situated

1077
01:06:53.120 --> 01:06:56.760
and I wanted to make sure that I was on the call tonight.

1078
01:06:56.760 --> 01:06:57.880
So I just did not.

1079
01:06:57.880 --> 01:07:00.600
I said, hey, let's talk tomorrow.

1080
01:07:00.600 --> 01:07:01.680
So.

1081
01:07:01.680 --> 01:07:04.240
So he shared a lot of information with you

1082
01:07:04.240 --> 01:07:06.560
via text or the app?

1083
01:07:06.560 --> 01:07:09.880
Yes, on the app.

1084
01:07:09.880 --> 01:07:10.880
On the app.

1085
01:07:10.880 --> 01:07:11.720
Okay.

1086
01:07:11.720 --> 01:07:13.000
And you suggested to him on the app

1087
01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:17.280
that y'all do meetup or FaceTime, video call?

1088
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:18.880
Yeah, he suggested it first.

1089
01:07:18.880 --> 01:07:20.480
He like, at the very end, he was like,

1090
01:07:20.480 --> 01:07:23.400
hey, we'd like to meet up, call, text, you know, whatever.

1091
01:07:23.400 --> 01:07:25.920
He like threw everything out there.

1092
01:07:25.960 --> 01:07:27.600
He responded back and said.

1093
01:07:29.520 --> 01:07:31.000
Yes.

1094
01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:31.840
Yes.

1095
01:07:31.840 --> 01:07:34.080
And then when did he turn back and say no?

1096
01:07:34.960 --> 01:07:38.120
After I said, hey, yeah, let's grab some coffee.

1097
01:07:39.120 --> 01:07:41.040
And then he said.

1098
01:07:41.040 --> 01:07:45.000
He said, I would feel better talking or something first.

1099
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:46.000
So he wanted to talk.

1100
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:50.240
He backed it up to say he wanted to talk on the phone first.

1101
01:07:50.240 --> 01:07:52.360
You said, okay.

1102
01:07:52.360 --> 01:07:53.920
I said, okay.

1103
01:07:53.920 --> 01:07:55.240
What's your number?

1104
01:07:55.240 --> 01:07:56.640
Did you ask?

1105
01:07:56.640 --> 01:07:57.480
Yes.

1106
01:07:57.480 --> 01:07:58.640
Did y'all exchange numbers?

1107
01:07:58.640 --> 01:07:59.480
Yes.

1108
01:07:59.480 --> 01:08:00.320
Yes.

1109
01:08:00.320 --> 01:08:02.120
And I gave him my Google number.

1110
01:08:02.120 --> 01:08:03.080
Okay.

1111
01:08:03.080 --> 01:08:05.280
And then y'all scheduled to talk?

1112
01:08:07.120 --> 01:08:09.280
We're scheduled to talk tomorrow sometime.

1113
01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:12.000
But that hasn't happened yet?

1114
01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:13.440
Hasn't happened yet.

1115
01:08:13.440 --> 01:08:15.080
But he hasn't backed out of it?

1116
01:08:21.840 --> 01:08:23.120
Did I freeze y'all?

1117
01:08:25.640 --> 01:08:26.479
No?

1118
01:08:26.479 --> 01:08:27.319
You did.

1119
01:08:27.319 --> 01:08:28.160
Karen did.

1120
01:08:28.160 --> 01:08:29.600
Okay.

1121
01:08:29.600 --> 01:08:30.680
Who's going to be traumatized

1122
01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:32.120
from all this freezing tonight?

1123
01:08:33.800 --> 01:08:34.640
Okay.

1124
01:08:34.640 --> 01:08:35.479
Karen.

1125
01:08:35.479 --> 01:08:36.680
Okay, I'm here, I'm here.

1126
01:08:36.680 --> 01:08:37.520
You're back.

1127
01:08:37.520 --> 01:08:38.359
Okay.

1128
01:08:38.359 --> 01:08:40.880
So she hasn't backed out of the call tomorrow, right?

1129
01:08:41.880 --> 01:08:42.720
Right.

1130
01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:43.560
He has not.

1131
01:08:44.720 --> 01:08:47.680
You do, I need to go to date to phase two,

1132
01:08:47.680 --> 01:08:49.279
go to phase three.

1133
01:08:49.279 --> 01:08:51.240
You don't have to go on a date to go to phase three,

1134
01:08:51.240 --> 01:08:53.399
but we do want you to date in phase two.

1135
01:08:53.399 --> 01:08:58.040
Karen, okay, what was the question?

1136
01:08:58.040 --> 01:09:00.840
That he doesn't, that he, that he doesn't,

1137
01:09:00.840 --> 01:09:03.560
that he, even though he said those things,

1138
01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:06.800
he declined the FaceTime and the in-person

1139
01:09:06.800 --> 01:09:09.840
and he backed up to say, let's just talk first?

1140
01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:11.200
Yeah.

1141
01:09:11.200 --> 01:09:12.080
Okay.

1142
01:09:12.080 --> 01:09:13.800
Let's take the phone call tomorrow.

1143
01:09:13.800 --> 01:09:15.359
Maybe he got nervous.

1144
01:09:15.359 --> 01:09:16.359
I don't know.

1145
01:09:16.359 --> 01:09:18.279
Take the phone call tomorrow.

1146
01:09:18.279 --> 01:09:19.600
When you take the phone call tomorrow,

1147
01:09:19.600 --> 01:09:22.760
you let him know that you're interested in in-person dates.

1148
01:09:22.760 --> 01:09:25.600
And so you do like to see the person that you're talking to.

1149
01:09:25.600 --> 01:09:27.120
And so it's gonna be important to you

1150
01:09:27.120 --> 01:09:29.800
that you guys go ahead and schedule a video chat,

1151
01:09:29.800 --> 01:09:31.960
let him know your availability

1152
01:09:31.960 --> 01:09:33.680
and what he would like to do that.

1153
01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:36.560
And there we go.

1154
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:38.760
If he says, well, can we talk a little bit more

1155
01:09:38.760 --> 01:09:41.760
and say, well, yeah, you know, if you want to,

1156
01:09:41.760 --> 01:09:43.800
you can say, yeah, and say, no, you know what?

1157
01:09:43.800 --> 01:09:45.720
I think, you know, I'm not interested.

1158
01:09:47.080 --> 01:09:49.560
Let's just, let's just go our separate ways.

1159
01:09:49.560 --> 01:09:52.000
Because like I said, it matters to me

1160
01:09:52.000 --> 01:09:53.960
that I see, I know how a person looks

1161
01:09:53.960 --> 01:09:55.760
when I'm talking to them.

1162
01:09:55.760 --> 01:09:56.600
And that's all.

1163
01:09:58.000 --> 01:09:58.840
You're welcome.

1164
01:09:58.840 --> 01:09:59.880
What's the second question?

1165
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.000
Okay, the second question I actually asked you, actually, before everybody came on, so

1166
01:10:08.000 --> 01:10:17.040
there is a gentleman who is in this community, and when he spoke on one of the calls, he

1167
01:10:17.040 --> 01:10:18.040
sounded familiar.

1168
01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:26.480
So, I did my little, you know, we women, you know, we women do, so I looked him up and

1169
01:10:26.480 --> 01:10:34.640
found out that I not only lived in his state, but we have two friends in common.

1170
01:10:34.640 --> 01:10:39.640
And so, I wanted to know what that looked like and how I should proceed, if I should

1171
01:10:39.640 --> 01:10:44.440
proceed, should I wait for, you know, we like to, girls, you know, we like God to reveal

1172
01:10:44.440 --> 01:10:49.680
us to the guys, right, if that's any, so I wanted to kind of know how best to proceed.

1173
01:10:49.680 --> 01:10:55.120
And so, the reason why, yeah, we wanted to share the question with everyone because it's

1174
01:10:55.120 --> 01:11:00.360
a very interesting concept, or idea, or thought, or school of thought, that should I wait

1175
01:11:00.360 --> 01:11:05.120
on the Lord to reveal me to this man, or should I drop the hanky?

1176
01:11:05.120 --> 01:11:08.480
If you guys are not familiar with drop the hanky, it just simply means should I say something

1177
01:11:08.480 --> 01:11:09.480
to the man first?

1178
01:11:09.480 --> 01:11:14.720
And so, because we're in phase two, and this is dating for discovery, whether we're dating

1179
01:11:14.720 --> 01:11:23.400
for discovery or not, whether it was phase two or phase three, the idea that let me wait

1180
01:11:23.400 --> 01:11:30.080
on God to reveal me to a person may not be your best school of thought.

1181
01:11:30.080 --> 01:11:35.360
If you see someone that you're interested in, it's best that you go ahead and say something

1182
01:11:35.360 --> 01:11:36.360
to them.

1183
01:11:36.360 --> 01:11:39.400
Why do I say it's best practices?

1184
01:11:39.400 --> 01:11:46.920
Because I know us women, and we spend our time fantasizing over that man, figuring out

1185
01:11:46.920 --> 01:11:52.080
who he's talking to on his social media, oh, does he have kids, oh, this, oh, he has

1186
01:11:52.080 --> 01:11:56.400
this job, oh, he probably could work out that way, oh, he knows this person, I want to know

1187
01:11:56.400 --> 01:12:01.960
that person, so you're doing all this research, and what you're doing is you're living in

1188
01:12:01.960 --> 01:12:03.720
a made-up world.

1189
01:12:03.720 --> 01:12:06.520
You don't know him, and you don't know if he's interested in you, you don't really know

1190
01:12:06.520 --> 01:12:10.160
anything about him, you're waiting on the Lord to reveal you to this man, but you don't

1191
01:12:10.160 --> 01:12:13.560
know nothing about this man, and you may know where he goes to church, and you may know

1192
01:12:13.560 --> 01:12:21.480
who he knows, but you don't even know the fruit of his life, right, and so you're wasting

1193
01:12:21.480 --> 01:12:26.600
a lot of time living in a fantasy world, putting yourself in a world that you don't need to

1194
01:12:26.600 --> 01:12:27.600
be in.

1195
01:12:27.600 --> 01:12:31.200
It's going to cost you in the back end, you're not going to even know, but it's because you've

1196
01:12:31.200 --> 01:12:36.840
invested so much emotional time and capacity and space to a person that you may not even

1197
01:12:36.840 --> 01:12:37.840
like.

1198
01:12:37.840 --> 01:12:45.760
You may not even, you may find that you don't even really like him, and so the answer is

1199
01:12:45.760 --> 01:12:51.720
she's dropped the hanky, she reaches out to him on messenger, and she says, hey, I noticed

1200
01:12:51.720 --> 01:12:54.720
that both of us are in Jackie's program.

1201
01:12:54.720 --> 01:12:59.680
Send a free request with the message to say, hey, I noticed that both of us are in Jackie's

1202
01:12:59.680 --> 01:13:04.600
program, and we have two friends in our circle alike, let's get to know each other.

1203
01:13:04.600 --> 01:13:05.600
He can say that.

1204
01:13:05.600 --> 01:13:13.440
The only thing he can do is decline her friendship, and that's good too, because if she doesn't,

1205
01:13:13.440 --> 01:13:16.480
y'all know us, what are we going to be thinking about?

1206
01:13:16.480 --> 01:13:21.280
Oh, I wonder if it was work out, and he and Jackie's program, and he did the hard work,

1207
01:13:21.280 --> 01:13:26.880
and we're on the same page, and we get the same teachings, this is a match made in heaven,

1208
01:13:26.880 --> 01:13:27.880
right?

1209
01:13:27.880 --> 01:13:38.280
So, we have to save ourselves that emotional stress and anguish, and see what the business

1210
01:13:38.280 --> 01:13:39.280
is.

1211
01:13:39.280 --> 01:13:41.520
Or he just becomes a good friend.

1212
01:13:41.520 --> 01:13:47.000
Or he just becomes good friends, but we are in the dating season, and we're not looking

1213
01:13:47.000 --> 01:13:51.600
for no friends, we're looking for husbands, all right?

1214
01:13:51.600 --> 01:13:54.600
I love you, Ebony, you're so awesome, yes.

1215
01:13:54.600 --> 01:14:06.360
We don't need to look like we're unavailable, and sometimes when you make a lot of male

1216
01:14:06.360 --> 01:14:10.360
friends, and you're talking to them about everything, you don't look available when

1217
01:14:10.360 --> 01:14:14.960
you go out, because you're storing your emotions in somebody else, you got somebody to talk

1218
01:14:14.960 --> 01:14:15.960
to.

1219
01:14:15.960 --> 01:14:21.000
You got somebody to spend time with, except for that person, y'all ain't going nowhere.

1220
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:22.000
Okay.

1221
01:14:22.000 --> 01:14:23.000
Okay.

1222
01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:24.000
Thank you.

1223
01:14:24.400 --> 01:14:25.400
Thank you.

1224
01:14:25.400 --> 01:14:26.400
You're welcome.

1225
01:14:26.400 --> 01:14:30.400
Or, yes, you can send him to another friend if you decided it didn't work out with y'all.

1226
01:14:30.400 --> 01:14:31.400
Yeah.

1227
01:14:31.400 --> 01:14:32.400
True.

1228
01:14:32.400 --> 01:14:33.400
Will do.

1229
01:14:33.400 --> 01:14:34.400
All right.

1230
01:14:34.400 --> 01:14:35.400
Let's go for it.

1231
01:14:35.400 --> 01:14:36.400
Anybody who's on mute is free to go.

1232
01:14:36.400 --> 01:14:37.400
All right.

1233
01:14:37.400 --> 01:14:38.400
I'll go.

1234
01:14:38.400 --> 01:14:39.400
Go for it.

1235
01:14:39.400 --> 01:14:40.400
Okay.

1236
01:14:40.400 --> 01:14:53.400
So, I'm on the app, and I've been on it for a few weeks now, and oh my goodness, it's

1237
01:14:53.400 --> 01:14:59.800
like I said, it's oodles and oodles of men everywhere, but it's how I did.

1238
01:15:00.880 --> 01:15:10.560
try to determine like where this is gonna go. So anyway, I video chat with one guy and

1239
01:15:13.040 --> 01:15:19.760
he showed me everything around his house and everything like that. And he seemed like he's

1240
01:15:19.760 --> 01:15:23.920
a spiritual man because he, you know, he talks different things about the Lord and stuff like

1241
01:15:23.920 --> 01:15:29.760
that. But I don't really try to go there because you say, you know, don't really do all of that.

1242
01:15:29.760 --> 01:15:37.200
I mean, I don't pray with him and all of that. So I'm like kind of guarded or protected or

1243
01:15:37.760 --> 01:15:49.280
whatever you want to call it. But I'm also like, I don't know, like I have ambitions

1244
01:15:49.280 --> 01:15:59.840
and I'm about 60. I'm not 60, but I'm pretty close to 60 and he's about 60. If you know what

1245
01:15:59.840 --> 01:16:09.600
I'm talking about, I still ice skate, roller skate. I still have fun. This man gets up. Oh,

1246
01:16:09.600 --> 01:16:16.160
what am I make for breakfast? Oh, he might go and take a walk. He do minister, I guess a little bit

1247
01:16:16.240 --> 01:16:22.480
of people. Then he's talking about, he comes back home and he just, I don't know, chill.

1248
01:16:23.280 --> 01:16:28.640
I don't know if he said he retired from blowing leaves. Like I don't see the,

1249
01:16:30.800 --> 01:16:37.360
I just, I can't do it. Like, you know, I'm not saying I'm a gold digger. I really am not.

1250
01:16:37.360 --> 01:16:43.600
Right. You know, I take care of myself, but I can't mess with somebody who don't have that.

1251
01:16:44.560 --> 01:16:50.080
If you kind of understand what I'm saying. However, I am going out on a date with him,

1252
01:16:50.080 --> 01:16:58.560
but I had to initiate it like to play racquetball at the Y, you know, something. I don't know.

1253
01:17:01.840 --> 01:17:04.960
I want a man who wants something out of life, not somebody who just,

1254
01:17:05.680 --> 01:17:13.520
you show me his little apartment. He like, he doesn't even have a, he has a studio, I guess.

1255
01:17:15.520 --> 01:17:20.720
And that's probably all he needs, but he just got divorced like in August. So I'm sure he's,

1256
01:17:20.720 --> 01:17:27.760
you know, dealing with hard work. But the one thing that he did say that threw me off, he said,

1257
01:17:27.760 --> 01:17:36.800
people wonder why I still am interested in getting married. And he said, Judas turned on

1258
01:17:36.800 --> 01:17:42.320
Jesus. He didn't turn on the other 11. And I'm like, what kind of man would use this?

1259
01:17:44.080 --> 01:17:50.080
But you're saying you're a Christian man. Like, I, I don't know. I don't know.

1260
01:17:51.040 --> 01:17:52.640
He's handsome though. That's it.

1261
01:17:54.080 --> 01:18:02.640
Look, well, you've identified that you don't desire him, which is a good thing to identify

1262
01:18:02.640 --> 01:18:08.720
ladies. Like it's good to identify like, Hey, I know we can go no further. So I don't really know

1263
01:18:08.720 --> 01:18:15.440
why. So when I go out on a date with you, I don't let how good you look confuse me. How good you

1264
01:18:15.920 --> 01:18:21.040
smell confused me. Cause I know you in a studio apartment, you just got divorced and you don't

1265
01:18:21.040 --> 01:18:26.400
like to do nothing. You were tired from blowing leaves. You had a boring life. I like a fun ride.

1266
01:18:26.400 --> 01:18:34.640
So that means, you know, you know, right. And you know, I'm going for the date and I'm gonna

1267
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:39.120
have a good time. I'm not going to judge this man for who he is, because that's who he is.

1268
01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:44.240
And he has the right to be that person. Just like I have the right to be who I am.

1269
01:18:44.240 --> 01:18:48.400
And I like to have fun and I like to do this and I like to do that. And it's wonderful.

1270
01:18:49.280 --> 01:18:52.320
And he likes to sit at home and it's wonderful.

1271
01:18:54.000 --> 01:18:59.760
But what we do have in common is we both want a date and he seems like a safe person to go on a

1272
01:18:59.760 --> 01:19:06.080
date. So you're going to go on a date and you're going to bring all of you. He gets to bring all

1273
01:19:06.080 --> 01:19:15.120
of him. And that's fun. And you get to be for that moment, that breath of air, that breath of

1274
01:19:15.120 --> 01:19:20.640
laughter, that joy that you care. Cause I see it all through the camera. You know, it's all there.

1275
01:19:20.640 --> 01:19:28.160
Take them song, drop it out. He won't let me, he can pick it up. Right. Then you don't. Yeah.

1276
01:19:28.160 --> 01:19:33.360
It's okay. Just have fun and go out on a date and you already know he's not the one. And that makes

1277
01:19:33.360 --> 01:19:39.440
it, that makes it even, it gives you the opportunity to take even more risk because

1278
01:19:39.440 --> 01:19:44.640
you're not operating in a scarcity of mindset. You ain't trying to hold on or hope for something.

1279
01:19:44.640 --> 01:19:48.640
You already know who the man is. He told you who he is and you accept him for who he is. And you

1280
01:19:48.640 --> 01:19:55.600
realize that this is not dating for your husband anyway. I know it's hard for us at a certain age

1281
01:19:55.600 --> 01:20:00.160
and time. And one time my sister told me, well, you know,

1282
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:28.640
I know that was my bad I said about something as we age as women but um I'm so sorry I don't

1283
01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:31.520
yeah you were breaking up a little bit I don't even know how to

1284
01:20:33.360 --> 01:20:44.240
sorry my um here we go I should be back I'm back uh anyway so go have fun um there's no

1285
01:20:44.240 --> 01:20:48.560
shortage of men out there even though it may seem like it when we start aging it really isn't

1286
01:20:48.560 --> 01:20:55.120
have fun he'll enjoy you okay all right thank you you're welcome go for it whoever

1287
01:20:56.000 --> 01:21:05.600
look go just jump in there got Christina Christiana Chris whoever's talking I'm sorry

1288
01:21:06.240 --> 01:21:08.240
that's okay you're right it was Christiana

1289
01:21:11.840 --> 01:21:19.200
I it's my first time sharing something and I um I love hearing everybody's stories and how you're

1290
01:21:19.760 --> 01:21:23.440
responding to it and helping us you know process different things so

1291
01:21:24.400 --> 01:21:30.240
I started talking with this guy about two months ago at this point and you know at

1292
01:21:30.240 --> 01:21:34.320
at the time you know we're talking to other people too and just you know really like the

1293
01:21:34.320 --> 01:21:41.680
conversation um we would talk on the phone and the reason um it's been so long is that

1294
01:21:41.680 --> 01:21:46.240
he was traveling and then I was traveling so we were only both back in the same place

1295
01:21:46.240 --> 01:21:51.280
about two weeks ago so we had our first in-person date but I feel like we know each other pretty

1296
01:21:51.280 --> 01:21:57.360
well because I mean it's a long time but the you know the we do live near much closer to each

1297
01:21:57.360 --> 01:22:04.400
other and just it just kind of happened that way but I feel like on the one hand it's good pacing

1298
01:22:04.400 --> 01:22:08.800
and it forced me to be patient because we could only you know talk on the phone and and stuff

1299
01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:12.560
so like it wasn't like I could you know we could see each other all the time or go you know too

1300
01:22:12.560 --> 01:22:17.680
fast with anything but I feel like since I met him in person it was like my thought was okay either

1301
01:22:17.680 --> 01:22:22.400
he's going to be just as great as he is on the phone and I'm going to be blown away or I'm going

1302
01:22:22.400 --> 01:22:27.440
to realize we were totally different people and it's you know like it's just like okay that was it

1303
01:22:27.440 --> 01:22:36.240
but we had to know um and you know he was even better in person than I thought so like it was

1304
01:22:36.240 --> 01:22:41.920
it's really great like he's just so he's great like he's just a wonderful man I enjoy being

1305
01:22:41.920 --> 01:22:49.680
around him and I feel like I'm aware of the feedback you're giving of you know pacing yourself

1306
01:22:49.680 --> 01:22:54.640
and not sharing too much and all that but it's like I want to spend time with him talk with him

1307
01:22:54.640 --> 01:22:59.920
be around him more and and we're both busy so like you know it's been two weeks since then I'm

1308
01:22:59.920 --> 01:23:03.360
going to see him again this week but like it's the first time we can get together and then I'm going

1309
01:23:03.360 --> 01:23:11.440
to be away for work again and he has stuff like it's it feels like it's it's spaced out and it's

1310
01:23:11.440 --> 01:23:17.280
probably for my benefit but I'm I'm just I guess I want would love to hear your feedback on okay is

1311
01:23:17.280 --> 01:23:22.800
that like normal or am I like just too excited about it need to like kind of pace myself a

1312
01:23:22.800 --> 01:23:30.160
little bit more with how I'm feeling is it oh I can't see your face is this Christina the missionary

1313
01:23:30.160 --> 01:23:36.080
or no no I'm not a missionary I um usually there's not somebody else with my name so that doesn't

1314
01:23:36.080 --> 01:23:41.840
happen very often she's out of christine or christine christina but she travels a lot too

1315
01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:48.320
so uh this is her situation with guys that she date like I'm out of town then I got to see him

1316
01:23:48.320 --> 01:23:55.120
then I was out of town again so just to let you know so you were dating him how long have you

1317
01:23:55.120 --> 01:24:04.960
been in phase two um I think about three weeks but so you were dating him when you were in Harvard

1318
01:24:05.760 --> 01:24:14.400
yeah I did I did do it early and and I thought about it and I really thought about not doing it

1319
01:24:14.400 --> 01:24:19.600
but I had been in such a long dating hiatus on purpose to like work on myself I thought

1320
01:24:20.240 --> 01:24:24.800
I feel like I need to just try something because I'm making excuses about not dating

1321
01:24:24.800 --> 01:24:29.440
and so yeah that's I did I did okay so

1322
01:24:31.920 --> 01:24:34.800
what happens with long distance dating is that

1323
01:24:37.600 --> 01:24:46.000
you end up talking a lot more yeah um and you talk so the basis of your relationship is talking

1324
01:24:46.960 --> 01:24:54.960
and video chatting um um the the person that I'm dating is three hours away and so it you

1325
01:24:54.960 --> 01:24:59.840
you see each other less which is it really helps with pacing but you

1326
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.520
end up talking more and then it's just kind of nature of long-distance dating.

1327
01:25:08.320 --> 01:25:10.160
What was your question to me, Christiana?

1328
01:25:14.160 --> 01:25:14.560
I'm sorry.

1329
01:25:14.560 --> 01:25:17.520
Yeah, go for it. Ask me your question again.

1330
01:25:18.720 --> 01:25:24.080
So trying to, you know, be aware of not oversharing and having like an appropriate

1331
01:25:24.080 --> 01:25:27.760
level of pacing and boundaries, knowing that, you know, we have been talking a lot

1332
01:25:28.480 --> 01:25:31.520
and I feel like I do want to open up and share more things with him.

1333
01:25:31.520 --> 01:25:36.240
But it's like I've only met him in person once and, you know, it was wonderful and he's,

1334
01:25:36.240 --> 01:25:38.880
you know, exactly the same person he seems to be.

1335
01:25:38.880 --> 01:25:40.880
But obviously, I'm still getting to know him.

1336
01:25:40.880 --> 01:25:48.960
It's like what's the appropriate level of like, you know, letting myself continue but not too much.

1337
01:25:49.600 --> 01:25:50.160
Exactly.

1338
01:25:50.160 --> 01:25:52.000
My thought process was in the right place.

1339
01:25:52.000 --> 01:26:00.240
So yes, so that's just kind of, that's kind of the bullet of long-distance talk,

1340
01:26:00.240 --> 01:26:01.680
long-distance dating.

1341
01:26:01.680 --> 01:26:02.720
You talk more.

1342
01:26:02.720 --> 01:26:05.040
Y'all have been getting to know each other for two months.

1343
01:26:05.040 --> 01:26:07.600
And so you're at an appropriate time to go deeper.

1344
01:26:08.880 --> 01:26:09.920
You're two months in.

1345
01:26:13.680 --> 01:26:17.120
Even though you haven't seen him, I don't know how you can make more.

1346
01:26:17.120 --> 01:26:18.480
Y'all are FaceTiming, right?

1347
01:26:18.960 --> 01:26:24.960
Usually, we talk on the phone, not FaceTime, but we can FaceTime.

1348
01:26:24.960 --> 01:26:26.720
But I mean, I'd rather see him in person.

1349
01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:29.920
So I encourage you to do more FaceTiming.

1350
01:26:31.040 --> 01:26:34.000
And the reason why I'm telling you to do this is because you can't see him in person.

1351
01:26:34.560 --> 01:26:37.040
But body language helps with communication.

1352
01:26:39.600 --> 01:26:40.240
Okay.

1353
01:26:40.240 --> 01:26:43.680
So do you talk more than you text or text more than you talk?

1354
01:26:44.560 --> 01:26:49.920
I would say, frequency-wise, we text like a little bit back and forth every day.

1355
01:26:49.920 --> 01:26:51.120
Like, hey, I hope you have a good day.

1356
01:26:51.120 --> 01:26:56.000
Like, just, you know, not super deep things or like making a plan or like just catching

1357
01:26:56.000 --> 01:26:57.040
up on something.

1358
01:26:57.040 --> 01:27:00.320
But if we're actually having a conversation, it will be over the phone.

1359
01:27:00.960 --> 01:27:01.520
Okay.

1360
01:27:01.520 --> 01:27:03.200
And how often do y'all talk to each other?

1361
01:27:05.280 --> 01:27:07.920
I haven't talked to him in a couple of days because he's been sick.

1362
01:27:07.920 --> 01:27:10.080
But, you know, usually, I've talked to him in a couple of days.

1363
01:27:10.080 --> 01:27:12.560
I haven't talked to him in a couple of days because he's been sick.

1364
01:27:12.560 --> 01:27:14.560
But, you know, usually every couple of days.

1365
01:27:15.600 --> 01:27:16.160
Okay.

1366
01:27:16.160 --> 01:27:20.080
So y'all been talking every couple of days for the last two months consistently?

1367
01:27:22.560 --> 01:27:27.200
Yeah, I'd say some gaps in between, but pretty consistently.

1368
01:27:27.200 --> 01:27:27.920
Yeah.

1369
01:27:27.920 --> 01:27:31.840
And usually, like, you know, a good conversation, not like five minutes or 10 minutes.

1370
01:27:34.240 --> 01:27:39.760
You're still talking to him because you guys have, you've, okay.

1371
01:27:40.640 --> 01:27:43.600
Let me back up on this if I see you.

1372
01:27:43.600 --> 01:27:45.680
So, coaching.

1373
01:27:45.680 --> 01:27:48.720
So, he's mature, masculine, and marriage-minded.

1374
01:27:48.720 --> 01:27:50.480
That's something you've discovered about him?

1375
01:27:51.600 --> 01:27:52.480
I believe so.

1376
01:27:52.480 --> 01:27:53.520
I believe he is.

1377
01:27:53.520 --> 01:27:57.840
Everything I've seen of him, how he talks about different things, how he speaks to me,

1378
01:27:58.400 --> 01:28:00.640
how he treats me, very much so.

1379
01:28:01.520 --> 01:28:04.560
Is he showing genuine interest in pursuing you in that way?

1380
01:28:05.760 --> 01:28:06.320
I think so.

1381
01:28:06.400 --> 01:28:09.920
I mean, like, he come, like, for first date, like, he came to see me.

1382
01:28:09.920 --> 01:28:10.960
We didn't meet halfway.

1383
01:28:10.960 --> 01:28:13.440
Like, you know, he came, same with this week.

1384
01:28:13.440 --> 01:28:14.560
He's like, I'll come to you.

1385
01:28:14.560 --> 01:28:17.200
Like, you know, just going out of his way to be thoughtful.

1386
01:28:18.800 --> 01:28:22.800
So, it very much seems like it.

1387
01:28:22.800 --> 01:28:24.320
And coming to you means what?

1388
01:28:25.200 --> 01:28:26.160
Like an hour and a half.

1389
01:28:26.960 --> 01:28:27.360
Okay.

1390
01:28:27.360 --> 01:28:28.400
Like an hour and a half.

1391
01:28:28.400 --> 01:28:28.640
Okay.

1392
01:28:29.440 --> 01:28:31.120
And, yeah.

1393
01:28:32.240 --> 01:28:35.520
So, what are the different things that you want to talk about?

1394
01:28:37.120 --> 01:28:38.240
That you haven't covered?

1395
01:28:38.240 --> 01:28:41.440
Like, what deepness are you referring to?

1396
01:28:43.200 --> 01:28:48.720
I think just sharing more things about, you know, things that are important to me,

1397
01:28:49.280 --> 01:28:50.560
you know, in relationships.

1398
01:28:50.560 --> 01:28:51.920
Just going a little bit deeper in it.

1399
01:28:51.920 --> 01:28:56.240
I think, so, I work in our family business.

1400
01:28:56.240 --> 01:28:58.080
And it's like a really important part of my life.

1401
01:28:58.080 --> 01:29:02.160
But I'm also super careful, you know, not to share that with most people.

1402
01:29:02.160 --> 01:29:03.520
Like, and not in dating.

1403
01:29:03.760 --> 01:29:06.800
That's just something I like, well, like, kind of gloss over in this.

1404
01:29:06.800 --> 01:29:07.840
I don't talk about that.

1405
01:29:08.400 --> 01:29:11.040
But I feel like, oh, I want to tell them about these things that, like,

1406
01:29:11.040 --> 01:29:12.640
I'm super passionate about it.

1407
01:29:12.640 --> 01:29:14.000
So, like, it's something I want to share.

1408
01:29:14.000 --> 01:29:19.680
And there's, you know, there's so much of my life is around, you know, awesome,

1409
01:29:19.680 --> 01:29:23.040
like, challenges we're solving or things that I'm, you know, learning or figuring out,

1410
01:29:23.040 --> 01:29:25.760
you know, different, you know, ideas I learned about something.

1411
01:29:25.760 --> 01:29:29.760
Or like, I do a seminar on, you know, on new marketing lead generation.

1412
01:29:29.760 --> 01:29:30.880
I'm like, oh, this is so cool.

1413
01:29:30.880 --> 01:29:33.360
I'm like, there's all these different things that, like,

1414
01:29:33.360 --> 01:29:36.320
I wouldn't bring someone into that world if I didn't trust them, right?

1415
01:29:36.320 --> 01:29:38.320
Because it's not just my world.

1416
01:29:38.320 --> 01:29:39.440
It's my family's world.

1417
01:29:40.160 --> 01:29:40.640
Okay.

1418
01:29:40.640 --> 01:29:43.520
Well, how about we save that for after you define the relationship?

1419
01:29:45.440 --> 01:29:45.940
Okay.

1420
01:29:46.960 --> 01:29:50.640
I think that that's something, if you're bringing somebody into your family's world also,

1421
01:29:50.640 --> 01:29:52.560
maybe that is for exclusivity.

1422
01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:54.080
Because you don't have to talk about that.

1423
01:29:54.080 --> 01:29:55.200
You might want to share that.

1424
01:29:55.200 --> 01:29:56.960
But you can share that with a friend.

1425
01:29:59.120 --> 01:29:59.840
Yes, that's true.

1426
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.000
Doesn't make sense because you wouldn't be uncovering you,

1427
01:30:04.000 --> 01:30:07.640
you're also sharing your family business.

1428
01:30:07.640 --> 01:30:09.400
Yeah.

1429
01:30:09.400 --> 01:30:13.280
But if there's something that you want to talk about is just solely about you,

1430
01:30:13.280 --> 01:30:16.840
you guys have been talking for a while and so you feel safe to do that.

1431
01:30:16.840 --> 01:30:18.400
I think that that's a good thing.

1432
01:30:18.400 --> 01:30:21.880
You could go further than that because you're at two months,

1433
01:30:21.880 --> 01:30:26.120
a little bit better than two months and so it's long distance.

1434
01:30:26.120 --> 01:30:27.680
So yeah, I'll talk a lot more.

1435
01:30:27.680 --> 01:30:30.760
I will say you'll start going to more deeper things.

1436
01:30:30.760 --> 01:30:34.600
But if it includes you and your family in the business,

1437
01:30:34.600 --> 01:30:38.760
you can save that until exclusivity.

1438
01:30:38.760 --> 01:30:42.680
Okay. I guess that brings me to then another question.

1439
01:30:42.680 --> 01:30:48.120
I know that we have the phases and they're defined and everything.

1440
01:30:48.120 --> 01:30:50.600
So I guess this is like, I don't know,

1441
01:30:50.600 --> 01:30:54.400
a 2A to 2B-ish area.

1442
01:30:55.400 --> 01:31:00.360
I know that I believe I'm not supposed to do anything to initiate

1443
01:31:00.360 --> 01:31:04.360
any type of conversation in that way from what I remember.

1444
01:31:04.360 --> 01:31:08.760
But what is a reasonable time frame for me to think,

1445
01:31:08.760 --> 01:31:11.800
okay, there's plenty of time for that versus it

1446
01:31:11.800 --> 01:31:16.080
seems like I should be aware that there's something that he's not bringing up yet.

1447
01:31:16.080 --> 01:31:17.560
Three months.

1448
01:31:17.560 --> 01:31:18.960
Okay.

1449
01:31:18.960 --> 01:31:23.160
At three months, he should be defining the relationship.

1450
01:31:23.320 --> 01:31:26.880
Okay. Thank you.

1451
01:31:26.880 --> 01:31:29.520
You're welcome.

1452
01:31:32.000 --> 01:31:43.200
All right. Looks like Kristiana was the last hand up, lady.

1453
01:31:43.200 --> 01:31:46.720
I thank you for your patience on tonight.

1454
01:31:46.720 --> 01:31:49.920
I enjoyed you as always.

1455
01:31:50.040 --> 01:31:52.480
We'll pick back up with them.

1456
01:31:52.480 --> 01:31:54.320
Ebony, I don't know if we're out of time,

1457
01:31:54.320 --> 01:31:57.240
but I do see one more person with their hand up though.

1458
01:31:57.240 --> 01:31:59.680
Okay. Whoever you are, go for it.

1459
01:31:59.680 --> 01:32:01.240
Oh, it's Janice.

1460
01:32:01.240 --> 01:32:02.520
Go Janice.

1461
01:32:02.520 --> 01:32:03.960
Okay. I have a question.

1462
01:32:03.960 --> 01:32:10.200
If you're dating in community and you like someone,

1463
01:32:10.200 --> 01:32:14.120
but they just want to be friends with you,

1464
01:32:14.120 --> 01:32:16.680
and then their friend likes you,

1465
01:32:16.680 --> 01:32:20.240
but you still have feelings for the other one,

1466
01:32:20.240 --> 01:32:29.120
how do you maintain integrity within a group of people and still respect the others?

1467
01:32:29.120 --> 01:32:32.880
Yeah. No, I hear you.

1468
01:32:32.880 --> 01:32:35.200
Totally makes sense.

1469
01:32:35.200 --> 01:32:39.920
The person that you like doesn't like you,

1470
01:32:39.920 --> 01:32:43.280
so you never really have feelings for them, you just like them.

1471
01:32:43.280 --> 01:32:46.880
Right. But I still have feelings for them.

1472
01:32:46.880 --> 01:32:48.640
You just have feelings of likeness.

1473
01:32:48.640 --> 01:32:49.720
What's that?

1474
01:32:49.720 --> 01:32:52.680
Of likeness, because you don't know anything.

1475
01:32:52.680 --> 01:32:56.560
They never invest in anything emotionally in you, right?

1476
01:32:56.560 --> 01:33:01.440
Well, we've been friends for like a year,

1477
01:33:01.440 --> 01:33:04.400
and we're around each other a lot,

1478
01:33:04.400 --> 01:33:08.920
so I still have some feelings for him,

1479
01:33:09.240 --> 01:33:14.200
and then his friend is paying attention to me a lot,

1480
01:33:14.200 --> 01:33:17.520
and I'm like, I don't know what to do with this.

1481
01:33:17.520 --> 01:33:20.320
It's kind of uncomfortable,

1482
01:33:20.320 --> 01:33:22.760
so I don't know what's the right protocol.

1483
01:33:22.760 --> 01:33:25.400
I don't want to disrespect anyone,

1484
01:33:25.400 --> 01:33:27.400
and I also want to maintain my integrity.

1485
01:33:27.400 --> 01:33:33.320
I don't want to be known as someone who dates around all his friends,

1486
01:33:33.320 --> 01:33:36.840
but what does someone do like that?

1487
01:33:36.840 --> 01:33:39.160
When you're in this church community,

1488
01:33:39.160 --> 01:33:42.080
and there's a lot of single people,

1489
01:33:42.080 --> 01:33:47.920
and you like someone, they don't really like you that way,

1490
01:33:47.920 --> 01:33:49.320
and then someone else likes you,

1491
01:33:49.320 --> 01:33:51.240
but you don't really like them that way,

1492
01:33:51.240 --> 01:33:55.360
and then you find one of their friends attractive.

1493
01:33:55.360 --> 01:33:58.280
You don't like his friend that likes you?

1494
01:33:58.280 --> 01:33:59.680
I don't know.

1495
01:33:59.680 --> 01:34:05.800
I don't know, but I don't feel attracted to him.

1496
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:10.400
I don't know him really well, so yeah.

1497
01:34:10.400 --> 01:34:16.160
Okay, gotcha. These are my thoughts about this.

1498
01:34:16.160 --> 01:34:16.960
Okay.

1499
01:34:16.960 --> 01:34:22.160
If you like one guy who does not like you,

1500
01:34:22.160 --> 01:34:24.240
you were his friend for a year,

1501
01:34:24.240 --> 01:34:26.760
but he's never shown interest in you.

1502
01:34:26.760 --> 01:34:30.480
You all did not develop anything because he does not like you,

1503
01:34:30.480 --> 01:34:32.240
so maybe for that year,

1504
01:34:32.280 --> 01:34:36.000
you fantasized about him or what y'all could have together.

1505
01:34:36.000 --> 01:34:41.760
So I'm just putting track with me.

1506
01:34:41.760 --> 01:34:43.320
If I got something wrong, tell me.

1507
01:34:43.320 --> 01:34:47.360
So what you're saying is what's happening is what you feel in your heart is

1508
01:34:47.360 --> 01:34:51.800
the residue or the remnants of how you felt about this young man that's your friend,

1509
01:34:51.800 --> 01:34:55.560
but y'all never actually engaged in that way,

1510
01:34:55.560 --> 01:35:00.160
but your heart is still grieving not having a few.

1511
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.920
with him right right and then his friend comes along and he's showing interest in

1512
01:35:07.920 --> 01:35:12.940
you but you feel like it will be some type of betrayal not actually to the

1513
01:35:12.940 --> 01:35:17.160
man but actually to yourself because his friend never never initiated anything

1514
01:35:17.160 --> 01:35:22.360
with you but you feel torn within yourself so you wouldn't be betraying

1515
01:35:22.360 --> 01:35:28.080
the man he couldn't feel betrayed by you because he never initiated anything with

1516
01:35:28.080 --> 01:35:34.740
you you initiated something with him within yourself okay and so now you're

1517
01:35:34.740 --> 01:35:41.360
dealing with the self thing okay so I don't want somebody to think this about

1518
01:35:41.360 --> 01:35:44.680
me I don't want somebody to think this about me there's nobody to think that

1519
01:35:44.680 --> 01:35:51.120
about you because only you had the feeling okay not the guy okay are you

1520
01:35:51.120 --> 01:35:57.080
tracking with me yes yes okay so that's one thing it's like put a period right

1521
01:35:57.080 --> 01:36:01.800
there that's the end of this sentence okay two separate situations his friend

1522
01:36:01.800 --> 01:36:11.400
likes you you think it's possible that he does if you like him you want to get

1523
01:36:11.400 --> 01:36:19.080
to know him you have the right to do that okay okay if you don't like him and

1524
01:36:19.080 --> 01:36:24.440
you don't want to get to know him you have the right to do that also okay you

1525
01:36:24.440 --> 01:36:29.280
are a single woman you will be single till you're married and you are blessed

1526
01:36:29.280 --> 01:36:33.680
to be in a church with a lot of other single people it's only gonna take one

1527
01:36:33.680 --> 01:36:38.960
because that's all it is all of them came to one and what happens is in life

1528
01:36:38.960 --> 01:36:46.280
we get to know people to see if we are good fit okay when we find out that

1529
01:36:46.280 --> 01:36:53.680
we're not the best fit we go we move along mm-hmm okay but if you're not

1530
01:36:53.680 --> 01:37:00.200
interested in you don't feel pressured to reciprocate anything back to him okay

1531
01:37:00.200 --> 01:37:13.600
that's not your responsibility to do that okay okay okay all right yeah yeah

1532
01:37:13.600 --> 01:37:17.560
I just don't want to be seen as someone who oh it's interested in this one and

1533
01:37:17.560 --> 01:37:21.640
that one and this all in one group

1534
01:37:27.480 --> 01:37:32.320
you're a single woman and these are single men and that's what people do

1535
01:37:32.320 --> 01:37:38.040
they date with the community it's the same place today and you're at a church

1536
01:37:38.040 --> 01:37:44.640
and if you will start in relationship with all these people you know you're

1537
01:37:44.640 --> 01:37:47.960
not even been in relationship with any of them the first guy did say he didn't

1538
01:37:47.960 --> 01:37:53.760
want anything so technically this the idea that it seems like you hop around

1539
01:37:53.760 --> 01:37:58.400
unless you tell everybody at the church who you like and they know that you had

1540
01:37:58.400 --> 01:38:03.080
a thing for this guy I mean that's all I can see you having some thought along

1541
01:38:03.080 --> 01:38:09.120
those lines but I just I want to encourage you that that's not who you

1542
01:38:09.120 --> 01:38:16.720
are mm-hmm when it's valid in you that that's not who you are it really doesn't

1543
01:38:16.720 --> 01:38:30.200
matter and it's not who you are mm-hmm right you're not some loose woman you're

1544
01:38:30.200 --> 01:38:38.480
a woman of dignity honor and respect yes so if you want to get to know the other

1545
01:38:38.480 --> 01:38:41.960
guy get to know him if he's showing interest in you if he's not showing

1546
01:38:41.960 --> 01:38:49.240
interest in you leave it alone okay and if he wants to get to know you you'll

1547
01:38:49.240 --> 01:38:57.480
get to know you mm-hmm okay okay all right okay

1548
01:38:57.480 --> 01:39:13.360
go to one another single man in the church okay thank you so much you can

1549
01:39:13.360 --> 01:39:16.920
see I'm gonna thank you for let Janice I did not see your hand because of this

1550
01:39:16.920 --> 01:39:21.800
phone screen ladies I enjoyed you you guys are simply amazing thank you guys

1551
01:39:21.800 --> 01:39:29.920
for praying I'm so glad I'm so good thank you and sticking with each of you

1552
01:39:29.920 --> 01:39:34.280
tonight and listen oh let's not forget all our newcomers they don't know about

1553
01:39:34.280 --> 01:39:38.840
activation and it'll be making a newcomer I can't see everybody on the

1554
01:39:38.840 --> 01:39:43.520
screen but listen go jump in your bed when you go to bed tonight and I want

1555
01:39:43.520 --> 01:39:49.200
you to roll to you get to the other side but don't fall out I want you to

1556
01:39:49.200 --> 01:39:53.960
remember and not many days from now you gonna roll over and bump into your

1557
01:39:53.960 --> 01:40:01.720
husband because he is sure to come God writes the best little stories

1558
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.000
So I want you to take this time tonight and do a prophetic activation, roll over and remind

1559
01:40:07.000 --> 01:40:15.000
yourself on your bed that my husband is on the way, there's a space in his bed that is

1560
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:19.000
waiting and your bed that is waiting for him.

1561
01:40:19.000 --> 01:40:21.000
You got it, Nikki?

1562
01:40:24.000 --> 01:40:25.000
Thank you.

1563
01:40:25.000 --> 01:40:27.000
This was a really great night.

1564
01:40:27.000 --> 01:40:33.000
I appreciated everything that all the ladies shared and all your wisdom that you gave tonight.

1565
01:40:33.000 --> 01:40:35.000
You're welcome.

1566
01:40:35.000 --> 01:40:37.000
That's so awesome.

1567
01:40:37.000 --> 01:40:41.000
Ladies, don't forget, it's so good to see all of y'all.

1568
01:40:41.000 --> 01:40:43.000
Kimberly, Beverly, everybody I get to see all the time.

1569
01:40:43.000 --> 01:40:47.000
And Beverly, I see that you said that you got a little dating app.

1570
01:40:47.000 --> 01:40:50.000
Yes, yes.

1571
01:40:50.000 --> 01:40:53.000
All right, ladies, have a good night.

1572
01:40:54.000 --> 01:41:00.000
Thank you for driving to wherever you could get reception.

1573
01:41:00.000 --> 01:41:02.000
Yeah, how far are you from home?

1574
01:41:02.000 --> 01:41:04.000
How far are you, Ebony?

1575
01:41:04.000 --> 01:41:13.000
I came out of the neighborhood because I don't think my internet service is that good.

1576
01:41:13.000 --> 01:41:15.000
But I'm not far.

1577
01:41:15.000 --> 01:41:21.000
No, I was just like, I was hoping y'all would hold on because I enjoy this time so much

1578
01:41:21.000 --> 01:41:24.000
It's such an important time in your journey.

1579
01:41:24.000 --> 01:41:26.000
Thank you, ladies.

1580
01:41:26.000 --> 01:41:29.000
We pray you get home safely, in Jesus' name.

1581
01:41:29.000 --> 01:41:32.000
Yeah, I receive it all.

1582
01:41:32.000 --> 01:41:36.000
Diana, we just bless you as you go into surgery.

1583
01:41:36.000 --> 01:41:41.000
We thank God that he's going to steal the hands of your surgeon and that all is well for you.

1584
01:41:41.000 --> 01:41:43.000
We pray for a strong, good recovery.

1585
01:41:43.000 --> 01:41:45.000
Don't you rush the process.

1586
01:41:45.000 --> 01:41:49.000
But you let the Lord take his good time in healing every part of your body.

1587
01:41:49.000 --> 01:41:53.000
We declare nobility and adventure back to every part of your body.

1588
01:41:53.000 --> 01:41:55.000
And you're going to have yourself so much fun.

1589
01:41:55.000 --> 01:42:02.000
And we thank God for having a really spicy, hot, non-lethal date waiting for you when it's all said and done.

1590
01:42:02.000 --> 01:42:04.000
In Jesus' name, amen.

1591
01:42:04.000 --> 01:42:07.000
Amen.

1592
01:42:07.000 --> 01:42:10.000
Thank you, Ebony.

1593
01:42:10.000 --> 01:42:12.000
You're welcome.

1594
01:42:12.000 --> 01:42:14.000
God bless y'all.

1595
01:42:14.000 --> 01:42:16.000
God bless you, ladies.

1596
01:42:16.000 --> 01:42:17.000
Thank you so much, everyone.

1597
01:42:17.000 --> 01:42:18.000
Good night.

1598
01:42:18.000 --> 01:42:19.000
Good night.