WEBVTT

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You called out my name.

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Sorry.

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I probably spoke to you, but yeah.

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Hey, Diana.

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Hi.

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Hey, hey, hey.

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I don't have any favorites, so if I miss your name, I'm sorry.

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Hey, everybody.

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But I just like to be as personable as possible

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because we are, you know, I want us to feel like a ladies group.

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You know?

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It's us tonight.

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So I hope you guys are all having a good week.

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Who is, if it's your first time with us,

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give us a wave of a hand.

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No first-timers.

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You Sky, is that your hand?

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Well, first time in phase two, yes.

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Yay!

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Welcome.

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Thank you.

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Trying to find the wave, the hand wave.

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Sorry.

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Who is that?

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You, Felicia?

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Trying to find the wave?

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Yes.

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Not Felicia.

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Felicia, this is your first time?

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Yes.

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Oh, is that another Felicia?

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Two Felicias.

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I guess so.

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We're strong.

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Yeah, it's two Felicias.

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Hey, Nikki, is this your first time in phase two coaching?

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Yes, it is.

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Hello.

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Hi.

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Hey.

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Hey, Shelly.

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Hey, Denise.

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Now that I've hate everybody.

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Welcome.

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I'm Ebony.

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I am coaching.

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I coach 8 o'clock.

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Carla coaches 1 o'clock.

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You can always come to both, or you can come one or either other.

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The 1 o'clock is always recorded, and you

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can go back and watch a replay.

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8 o'clock is recorded, but it's not available for replay.

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So you get the exclusive, and nobody else gets it.

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So hey, but you can always come to both, or one or the other.

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I am a third grade teacher, just so you know what I do,

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so you can know who's coaching you.

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I was in this program, I keep saying three years,

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but for as long as it's going to be four years,

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you're going to be able to keep up.

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I did what you're doing about three, maybe three and a half

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years ago.

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It's absolutely amazing.

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I would like to say that phase two was my most favorite part.

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All of them were my most favorite part.

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Phase one was really a, it changed my life,

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got me ready for phase two.

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But I will tell you that dating for discovery, totally,

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absolutely, hands down, without a doubt,

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changed my life just as much as the hard work did.

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Actually, it furthered the hard work,

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but this phase is like my jam.

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And so I know that you guys, if you get into the swing of it,

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you're going to enjoy it so much,

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because you discover so much about yourself

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in community with others.

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And it's the only way we discover ourselves.

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We cannot discover ourselves with just us and Jesus,

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because Jesus is perfect.

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We ain't going to have too many issues with him.

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We may not want to obey him, but his grace is so good,

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we don't even know we're being disobedient sometimes.

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Because we have this idea that we can serve a God

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that we don't obey.

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But that's a different story for another day.

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However, when you get in a relationship

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with real people who are not perfect like Jesus,

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you get to work some muscles.

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You know, kind of like people, the only people

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they're in a relationship with is their dog.

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Because the dog love him no matter what.

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Yeah, so, but just to do a little housekeeping,

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you guys want to watch at least one video a week.

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And you get behind us.

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OK, we all get behind.

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You want to definitely hop on to prayer calls in the morning.

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Saturdays are always supernaturally,

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wonderfully, amazing.

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Jackie does the best teachings, hands down.

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I've not ever been on a Saturday call,

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and it was not the best teaching, hands down.

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And I've been around this community for some years,

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and it's always fire.

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And so you definitely want to be on that.

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We have Sundays, you guys.

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So many opportunities for you to do community and do community

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well.

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And when we get to do community well,

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it is a big indicator that we will also

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be able to carry that over into marriage,

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because marriage is also community.

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It's a community of two.

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And so, yeah, let's see.

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Anytime you want to, we encourage you always

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to post, to share any question that you have,

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every question that you have, post it.

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When you go on your dates or whatever encounters

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that you have, whether it be with a date or a loved one

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or whatever you got going on, post details.

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The more details, the better.

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It helps us coach you better, so it

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won't be a lot of back and forth with minor things.

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But we can get to it, because sometimes we all have lives.

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So you may not get back to it until two days later,

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and then it was just one little question,

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and you think you're coming back for an answer,

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and you don't even have one.

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So we want to include as much detail as we can.

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When you're talking to somebody, if you

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get confused about what they're saying

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or you have any questions, just post it.

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Don't feel anxious like you have to get a response back to this guy immediately.

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It is not true.

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You do not have to give us the opportunity to help you navigate what you have going on.

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If you haven't set your dating profiles up yet and you haven't gone online dating yet,

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let us check out your profile, what you're going to write before you post it on there.

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Let us check out your photos.

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It is not a requirement, but we do want to help you navigate that and navigate it well.

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And so, yeah, I think I covered everything.

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For all of our newcomers, do you have any questions for me?

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If you want to get to your coursework, click on the course tab.

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If ever there's a time you're clicking on something, if you want to find a single city

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near you, click on the tab that says single city.

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They're going to give you a code.

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You go to that page, put that code in.

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You should be allowed in.

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If something happens where you can't get in, if you're looking for your courses and they're

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not there, go to contact or your little photo is going to drop down, contact support, and

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you want to drop a ticket about what you're experiencing.

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If you're trying to post something and your post is not coming up, like all of these things

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are things that happen, go to contact support, drop a ticket.

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And if that doesn't work for you, reach out to one of us, post it on the wall, and we'll

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be sure to help you as best we can.

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But anything that you want, you should be able to find.

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My name is Karen, not Karen from Virginia, but Karen, other Karen.

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Right.

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Okay.

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So how do we post our, how do we show you our profile?

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Because I'm on that silver singles.

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I'm not even getting one like, like not one.

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Allison either.

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You either, Allison.

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I will say I am getting them and they're fraudulent.

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So Karen, I don't know if you noticed, but they're having a matchmaker, meet the matchmaker

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next week.

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And I'm getting on because I want to know what kind of matchmakers they have at silver

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singles.

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That's a good idea.

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What are the, I missed kind of what, who, who is having the matchmakers?

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Karen, I will, I will put you, look, I'll put it in the chat.

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Okay, cool.

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And Karen to post your profile, our app didn't allow you to post like a whole lot at one

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time, I think, but you're going to have to post a picture, then screenchart your profile,

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then post it as it, as if you were doing a post and let us check it out.

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Okay.

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I'll do that.

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Yeah.

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And the thing about it is, you know, with online dating, especially if you're not doing

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online dating before, you're leery about doing online dating, but the point is maybe

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never done it before.

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It does have ebbs and flows and it does have scammers and does have all the horrible things

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that you don't want.

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But it also has all the wonderful things that you didn't know were waiting for you, but

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it does help you practice really well.

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And so it does have a whole gamut of things.

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Yes.

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Nikki.

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Thank you.

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Yeah.

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So I completed the heart work before the app was made.

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I was in heart work for a really long time, which is like, okay, I'm, I did what I needed

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to do.

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It just took me a while.

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So I'm new to the app.

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I don't see anyone's posts.

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All I see is like Bethany posted the last few times.

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All I see are Bethany's posts.

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Well, okay.

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There is one from Michelle.

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Okay.

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Maybe I just didn't scroll, but this is where you would be in community.

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Maybe I was looking at announcements most of the time.

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Yeah.

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Because you know what happens is when Bethany does her post, she pins it.

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And so you have to kind of keep scrolling down to get past the pin.

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Oh, that is true.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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That makes sense.

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This is where I would ask the question and where I could see people share is in community.

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Yeah.

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Or wins.

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You can post in wins.

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You can post in, let me see.

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Can you see that?

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Oh, yeah.

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Ask a coach.

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Ask a coach.

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It will show up for the whole community to see too.

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I don't, I don't think so.

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It's okay if it does.

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I just was curious.

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I don't think it does though.

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Unless sometimes, the reason why I get confused about it, because it seems like sometimes

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a person will post in the community and then they ask a coach.

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And sometimes I can't tell if it's, but I think when you ask a coach, you post just

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in the coach, but anybody in the community can see it under that tab.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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And can we ask questions that don't have to do with dating, but like spiritual questions?

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Yes.

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So that's the thing about phase two in, we say dating for discovery, but it's discovering

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yourself all the way around.

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And so you don't have to be dating to come.

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to a coaching session, it really is literally all about you.

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OK.

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Yeah.

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OK, cool.

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Thank you so much.

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You're welcome.

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OK, ladies.

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So now that we got some of the housekeeping out of the way,

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let's just remember that when we do post,

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we want to post things if it's about another dentistry

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or some other type of, not just ministry,

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but other speakers or anything like that,

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we want to get approval from admin

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because we want to keep the community safe.

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And so we want to be mindful what we're posting.

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If it's something that you're going to attach that's

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outside of the community, not something about you,

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something outside of the community, other information.

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Let us pray.

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Jesus, I thank you for these amazing women.

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I thank you, Lord God, that we have

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things that are going to pop up on the inside of us

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that we need to ask within community

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and that we're going to have lots of solutions on tonight

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because heaven always has solutions

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for whatever we are facing.

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And so we're excited.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

262
00:11:01.040 --> 00:11:05.040
Were any of you able to wear a cute dress?

263
00:11:05.040 --> 00:11:07.960
Did you find any new pruning areas?

264
00:11:07.960 --> 00:11:10.040
How are we doing with our plan on pruning?

265
00:11:10.040 --> 00:11:11.480
And just to catch you up, ladies,

266
00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:13.560
we identified some things a couple of weeks

267
00:11:13.560 --> 00:11:17.160
ago that we wanted to start pruning from our life.

268
00:11:17.160 --> 00:11:20.040
So that means if we wanted to become healthier,

269
00:11:20.040 --> 00:11:21.840
maybe we were going to prune away sugar.

270
00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.120
And we came up with a plan to do that.

271
00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:27.360
Maybe we wanted to learn how to communicate more.

272
00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:31.200
We created a plan or a language to communicate

273
00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:32.120
how we feel more.

274
00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:34.480
Maybe we're going to decide that we want to be more open.

275
00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:36.040
We want to be seen, heard, and known.

276
00:11:36.040 --> 00:11:37.400
How are we going to do that?

277
00:11:37.400 --> 00:11:39.760
Maybe when someone says something to me they don't like,

278
00:11:39.760 --> 00:11:41.960
I'm going to maybe tell them, like, hey,

279
00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:43.360
I really didn't like that coming.

280
00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:44.840
I don't know why right now.

281
00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:46.960
But when I figure it out, I'll let you know.

282
00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:48.800
So maybe we want to practice more boundaries.

283
00:11:48.800 --> 00:11:50.160
Everybody has something that they

284
00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:52.240
wanted to prune in their life.

285
00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:55.000
And so tell me, ladies, how's that going?

286
00:11:57.600 --> 00:11:59.160
Karen, is your hand up?

287
00:11:59.160 --> 00:12:03.440
Is it still up from last time, or is it new?

288
00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:04.200
Oh, OK.

289
00:12:04.200 --> 00:12:06.120
Still up from last time.

290
00:12:06.120 --> 00:12:08.840
OK, cool.

291
00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:10.040
I can share.

292
00:12:10.040 --> 00:12:11.800
Go for it.

293
00:12:11.800 --> 00:12:16.760
So I said that I was going to spend more time with God.

294
00:12:16.760 --> 00:12:18.920
And I have been getting up at 5 AM.

295
00:12:19.880 --> 00:12:22.680
I have.

296
00:12:22.680 --> 00:12:28.400
And I've been doing a devotional and worshipping

297
00:12:28.400 --> 00:12:29.960
at least for 30 minutes.

298
00:12:29.960 --> 00:12:31.280
I've been doing that.

299
00:12:31.280 --> 00:12:32.080
Yes!

300
00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:36.040
And I would have to say, it's definitely, honestly,

301
00:12:36.040 --> 00:12:42.120
it's definitely affecting how I, when I go to work.

302
00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:45.720
I'm not as, like, you know, probably

303
00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:50.320
as temperamental to my kindergartner people.

304
00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:54.040
My patience is not as short.

305
00:12:54.040 --> 00:12:58.040
It's because I, you know, because I talk to Jesus first.

306
00:12:58.040 --> 00:13:00.480
So.

307
00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:02.440
Awesome, Shirai.

308
00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:04.640
We're happy for you.

309
00:13:04.640 --> 00:13:05.440
Anybody else?

310
00:13:08.800 --> 00:13:09.760
Same thing.

311
00:13:09.760 --> 00:13:11.760
So I got, good night, everyone.

312
00:13:11.760 --> 00:13:12.240
Sorry.

313
00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:15.240
I got a revelation when we were doing this.

314
00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:17.480
When we were doing the prayer call yesterday,

315
00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:20.520
how intentional it was that every, you know,

316
00:13:20.520 --> 00:13:22.240
there are four different areas that we pray,

317
00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:24.560
or five different areas every morning.

318
00:13:24.560 --> 00:13:25.960
And, you know, the Lord showed me,

319
00:13:25.960 --> 00:13:28.280
He's like, if you want to see change,

320
00:13:28.280 --> 00:13:32.240
you need to pattern your spiritual life from that call

321
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:34.280
that we make every morning at 10.

322
00:13:34.280 --> 00:13:37.320
So I intentionally got up and I did the hour,

323
00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:40.920
I had my, like, my categories, what I prayed for.

324
00:13:40.920 --> 00:13:42.840
And it was, it was really a blessing.

325
00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:44.200
It helps you with clarity,

326
00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:46.120
it makes you know what to pray about.

327
00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:47.320
So it was, it was really good.

328
00:13:47.320 --> 00:13:51.240
So I'm happy that this group is not only about marriage,

329
00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:52.080
but it helped you.

330
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:54.160
It's like an all general, you know,

331
00:13:54.160 --> 00:13:56.320
get you in every area of your life.

332
00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:57.760
So I'm really proud of that.

333
00:13:57.760 --> 00:13:58.600
Yeah.

334
00:13:58.600 --> 00:13:59.960
That's awesome, Stephanie.

335
00:13:59.960 --> 00:14:00.800
Awesome.

336
00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:02.960
Diana.

337
00:14:05.720 --> 00:14:10.720
So my son and grandson have been going to the gym

338
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.680
and they're like, well, you can come along.

339
00:14:15.680 --> 00:14:18.600
And I'm like thinking, what on earth can I do?

340
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:21.640
I've got two messed up shoulders.

341
00:14:21.640 --> 00:14:25.080
And he's like, well, you can do the elliptical.

342
00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:28.280
There's a spot where you can just hang on in the front.

343
00:14:28.280 --> 00:14:30.200
So I tried it a couple of weeks ago.

344
00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:31.040
Oh my gosh.

345
00:14:31.040 --> 00:14:33.520
And we go at five o'clock in the morning.

346
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:37.600
Within five minutes, it kicked my butt.

347
00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:40.480
Like, it hurts so bad.

348
00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:42.240
I'm so out of shape.

349
00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:45.640
So anyway, I went over to a stationary bike

350
00:14:45.640 --> 00:14:47.080
and I'm able to do that.

351
00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:49.280
So I do that three times a week

352
00:14:49.280 --> 00:14:51.640
and they have the most awesome thing.

353
00:14:51.640 --> 00:14:54.760
It's called a hydro massage bed.

354
00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:57.800
And that I love.

355
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.720
But I'm having surgery on the 21st, so I'm not going to be able to work out anymore.

356
00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:11.320
I'll be completely not able to do anything for six weeks.

357
00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:15.720
And because I'm already talking to you, I have a question.

358
00:15:15.720 --> 00:15:18.080
I went on a first date.

359
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:22.720
First time I've dated since 2009.

360
00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:23.720
Date was awesome.

361
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:24.720
Hold up, Diana.

362
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:25.720
Whoa, whoa.

363
00:15:25.720 --> 00:15:26.720
Hold up.

364
00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:27.720
I want...

365
00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:29.000
Would you keep your hand up?

366
00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.640
I'll let you go first as soon as we transition from this part.

367
00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:33.640
Okay.

368
00:15:33.640 --> 00:15:34.640
Okay.

369
00:15:34.640 --> 00:15:35.640
Does that work for you?

370
00:15:35.640 --> 00:15:36.640
Yes.

371
00:15:36.640 --> 00:15:37.640
Okay.

372
00:15:37.640 --> 00:15:38.640
Great.

373
00:15:38.640 --> 00:15:39.640
Well, soon...

374
00:15:39.640 --> 00:15:40.640
Not soon.

375
00:15:40.640 --> 00:15:41.640
We're going to transition from this part.

376
00:15:41.640 --> 00:15:44.240
I'm going to talk about one thing, and then we're going to open up the floor, and then

377
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:45.480
you're going to go first.

378
00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:46.480
So don't forget.

379
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.480
All right.

380
00:15:47.480 --> 00:15:48.480
Who else...

381
00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:53.120
Did anyone else want to share about their pruning?

382
00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:56.120
Okay.

383
00:15:56.120 --> 00:15:57.120
Next thing, Diana.

384
00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:58.120
Hold tight.

385
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.240
We want to talk about what we've been seeing in the community a lot of, which is very,

386
00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:03.240
very normal.

387
00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:06.960
And Diana, remind me, we do want to pray for you for your surgery too.

388
00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:12.360
Don't let me forget.

389
00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:15.400
This idea that when I go out with...

390
00:16:15.400 --> 00:16:18.920
When I start talking to a person, I need to feel a spark.

391
00:16:18.920 --> 00:16:19.920
Who knows about the spark?

392
00:16:19.920 --> 00:16:20.920
Oh, I didn't feel anything.

393
00:16:20.920 --> 00:16:21.920
Who's looking for a spark?

394
00:16:21.920 --> 00:16:22.920
Where my spark women at?

395
00:16:22.920 --> 00:16:23.920
Wave a hand.

396
00:16:24.920 --> 00:16:29.680
Okay, Al, I see a spark woman here.

397
00:16:29.680 --> 00:16:30.680
Spark, spark.

398
00:16:30.680 --> 00:16:31.680
Got me another spark woman.

399
00:16:31.680 --> 00:16:32.680
Any more sparks?

400
00:16:32.680 --> 00:16:33.680
Yeah, we need some sparks.

401
00:16:33.680 --> 00:16:34.680
Who is a spark?

402
00:16:34.680 --> 00:16:35.680
Natalie is a spark woman.

403
00:16:35.680 --> 00:16:36.680
Who can share with me what a spark is?

404
00:16:36.680 --> 00:16:37.680
Your definition of a spark.

405
00:16:37.680 --> 00:16:38.700
Just unmute and go for it, or type it in chat.

406
00:16:38.700 --> 00:16:39.700
She's right there.

407
00:16:39.700 --> 00:16:40.700
She is a spark woman.

408
00:16:40.700 --> 00:16:41.700
Yeah.

409
00:16:41.700 --> 00:16:42.700
So that's what I'm saying.

410
00:16:42.700 --> 00:16:43.700
We need spark women.

411
00:16:43.700 --> 00:16:44.700
We need spark women.

412
00:16:44.700 --> 00:16:45.700
We need spark women.

413
00:16:45.700 --> 00:16:46.700
We need spark women.

414
00:16:46.700 --> 00:16:47.700
We need spark women.

415
00:16:47.700 --> 00:16:48.700
We need spark women.

416
00:16:48.700 --> 00:16:49.700
We need spark women.

417
00:16:49.700 --> 00:16:50.700
We need spark women.

418
00:16:50.700 --> 00:16:53.980
Just unmute and go for it, or type it in chat.

419
00:16:53.980 --> 00:17:01.820
For me, I think it'd be kind of like, I guess, butterflies kind of feeling, like, wow, kind

420
00:17:01.820 --> 00:17:02.820
of thing.

421
00:17:02.820 --> 00:17:03.820
Yeah.

422
00:17:03.820 --> 00:17:04.819
Like, wow, kind of thing.

423
00:17:04.819 --> 00:17:05.819
All right.

424
00:17:05.819 --> 00:17:06.819
Give me some more.

425
00:17:06.819 --> 00:17:12.859
Natalie, you know I've never seen your face before.

426
00:17:12.859 --> 00:17:18.619
Because I'm usually really, really busy, and I feel bad because I don't want to have people

427
00:17:18.619 --> 00:17:28.660
see me, like, walk around, and I go, anyway, so I experienced a spark on Saturday night,

428
00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:35.340
but I am using good discernment because I know the difference when it's lust.

429
00:17:35.340 --> 00:17:45.860
And I know, and I miss that surge of adrenaline rush that comes from my stomach to my heart

430
00:17:45.860 --> 00:17:47.860
and flushes my face over.

431
00:17:47.860 --> 00:17:53.860
I've not felt that in a long time.

432
00:17:53.860 --> 00:17:59.940
But that doesn't mean that it's, like, long term and what is really, truly what I'm looking

433
00:17:59.940 --> 00:18:05.980
for in love, but I do think that having that connection in chemistry is good, but there's

434
00:18:05.980 --> 00:18:08.860
a difference, and it can be deceiving.

435
00:18:08.860 --> 00:18:14.860
Yes, Coach Natalie, it can be.

436
00:18:15.860 --> 00:18:18.860
Who else wants to share about that spark?

437
00:18:18.860 --> 00:18:21.860
What's your definition of the spark, ladies?

438
00:18:26.860 --> 00:18:27.860
That's it?

439
00:18:27.860 --> 00:18:30.860
Christy, are you about to say something?

440
00:18:30.860 --> 00:18:31.860
No?

441
00:18:31.860 --> 00:18:32.860
See?

442
00:18:32.860 --> 00:18:33.860
Trouble.

443
00:18:33.860 --> 00:18:36.860
Karen says spark is trouble.

444
00:18:36.860 --> 00:18:40.860
iPhone said that commonality is my spark.

445
00:18:40.860 --> 00:18:41.860
All right?

446
00:18:41.860 --> 00:18:46.860
Somebody, Karen R., two Karen R's, but one of them quit looking for the spark.

447
00:18:46.860 --> 00:18:50.860
So, yes, let's talk about the spark.

448
00:18:50.860 --> 00:18:55.860
It is not necessary that we, Allison, is your hand up to say something?

449
00:18:55.860 --> 00:18:56.860
Okay.

450
00:18:56.860 --> 00:18:59.860
We got to stop looking for the spark.

451
00:19:03.860 --> 00:19:06.860
The spark can be very deceitful.

452
00:19:07.860 --> 00:19:11.860
It can make us feel like, oh, this is it, but usually if you will pay attention to your

453
00:19:11.860 --> 00:19:21.860
spark, sometimes the spark is based on how a person looks, their charisma, their appeal.

454
00:19:23.860 --> 00:19:27.860
I will tell you, I have a spark.

455
00:19:27.860 --> 00:19:33.860
The finer a man is, the more my spark is, because it'd be like, oh, and if he smelled

456
00:19:33.860 --> 00:19:36.860
good, golly, he'd be sparking.

457
00:19:36.860 --> 00:19:39.860
And so I get a little leery about the spark.

458
00:19:39.860 --> 00:19:45.860
And I would encourage you ladies not to look for a spark when you're in your stage, two

459
00:19:45.860 --> 00:19:50.860
early stages of getting to know a person, because a spark can be deceitful and it can

460
00:19:50.860 --> 00:19:56.860
really mess up your vision or your sight or your ability to make sound judgment.

461
00:19:56.860 --> 00:19:59.860
And so you could believe so much in a spark.

462
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.080
it becomes a law for you and says, if I feel this, it must be something.

463
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:12.400
Kind of like when you start leaning heavily on, is this the Lord? I think it's the Lord's hand

464
00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:17.200
because I had a prophetic word and that prophetic word said this and that prophetic word said that.

465
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:23.920
And so you begin leaning into something, whether it's super spiritual or it is a spark represents,

466
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:30.160
I looked it up, but I'm going to tell you what A.I. said a spark was because we need to look up

467
00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:35.440
this spark. Everybody got a definition of a spark. A spark in a relationship refers to a strong

468
00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:42.640
feeling of romantic or sexual attraction, often described as a feeling of excitement,

469
00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:53.680
connection, and sometimes even infatuation. Now we got spark, usually it can manifest as physical,

470
00:20:53.680 --> 00:21:01.680
butterflies feeling turned on or emotional elation, excitement type of reactions. Essentially

471
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:08.080
it's the initial intense feeling of being drawn to someone that can ignite a potential relationship.

472
00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:12.400
Can we agree that that's what we experience?

473
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:19.520
Yeah. And so sometimes when we lean very heavily toward this type of thing,

474
00:21:19.600 --> 00:21:26.880
and we've been cultivated by society to think that this means more than it means. Very similar

475
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:33.920
when we have a lot of spiritual talk going on in our mind and we think it weighs all on this,

476
00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:39.600
this is the one, this is the one God picked. And I know it is because of this and this sign

477
00:21:39.600 --> 00:21:45.200
lined up and this lined up and that lined up. And then we forget the thing that carries it

478
00:21:45.520 --> 00:21:53.840
and it's called wisdom. We don't serve a God if we're spiritual, if this is a spiritual

479
00:21:54.800 --> 00:21:58.480
concept that we're operating, we don't serve a God who operates outside of wisdom.

480
00:21:59.760 --> 00:22:07.360
Everything he does is wisdom. And so we measure things by wisdom. If you want to know some

481
00:22:07.360 --> 00:22:14.720
measure what you have going on by wisdom, lay it in front of wisdom. Nothing's going to override

482
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:20.960
wisdom. And what you get in this program is wisdom. You get knowledge.

483
00:22:35.600 --> 00:22:36.960
Ebony, you're frozen.

484
00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:46.720
I love when she does it's a big old smile on her face.

485
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:01.360
Can she hear us, I wonder?

486
00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:06.160
I think last time this happened, she had to go out and then come back on again.

487
00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:08.640
And like somebody else became the host.

488
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:10.160
Oh, gotcha.

489
00:23:14.560 --> 00:23:23.120
Hopefully she can see the chat.

490
00:23:31.840 --> 00:23:37.040
I'm really glad we're talking about this topic tonight because that's what I'm struggling with.

491
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.920
It's hard girl, especially when you haven't felt it in a minute.

492
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.120
Oh, it's rough.

493
00:23:44.320 --> 00:23:48.080
And then when you do, you're like, no, I know what that is. And I know why,

494
00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:52.080
but I'm saying the opposite. Like I was going to talk to her about the opposite. We're like,

495
00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:57.840
I'm not feeling that spark, but I know that this is a really good guy. And I had talked to you guys

496
00:23:57.840 --> 00:24:02.720
about it last week and I'm like, trying to, I've already had four dates with him and I'm just like,

497
00:24:03.360 --> 00:24:07.040
I'll give him another chance. And this week's my birthday and he's taking me out and stuff.

498
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:11.760
And I want to give him a chance, but I'm just like, I'm not feeling it. And I'm going to

499
00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:15.680
go walking with someone right after this that I am. And I'm just like, I know.

500
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:19.280
Torn, right? Yeah, exactly.

501
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:27.120
I think, I think, you know, you don't have to feel the spark, but it shouldn't feel forced either.

502
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:32.880
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I want to be able to kiss them if I want to turn my head,

503
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:36.320
if they want to kiss me, like, that's a problem, right? Yeah. You have to have attraction,

504
00:24:36.320 --> 00:24:40.000
not necessarily a spark, but you got to be attracted. Yeah, I agree.

505
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:47.040
Can I ask is the, what do you think is the reason? Is it because maybe the conversation

506
00:24:47.600 --> 00:24:56.880
is boring or is it pure attraction or lack of? Yeah, I think he's just really passive and

507
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.400
he's a great listener, but I don't also want to be like monopolized.

508
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.200
is in the whole conversation or have it always be about me,

509
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.800
you know, and I'll ask him questions too.

510
00:25:04.800 --> 00:25:07.760
And sometimes he'll answer, but he's very quiet.

511
00:25:07.760 --> 00:25:10.600
And I can tell he's very self-conscious

512
00:25:10.600 --> 00:25:11.720
and maybe a bit insecure,

513
00:25:11.720 --> 00:25:13.280
like almost like he's walking on eggshells,

514
00:25:13.280 --> 00:25:16.040
like he doesn't want to blow it with me, you know,

515
00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:16.920
but he's Catholic.

516
00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:18.400
I don't know if you guys remember me telling you that,

517
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:22.060
like he's Catholic versus spirit-filled Christian like me.

518
00:25:22.060 --> 00:25:24.820
And I'm trying not to think too far down the line,

519
00:25:24.820 --> 00:25:26.640
but because we both are marriage-minded,

520
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:28.600
I do want to be, you know,

521
00:25:28.600 --> 00:25:29.520
oh, he just texts me right now.

522
00:25:30.040 --> 00:25:30.880
He's like, how's your day?

523
00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:33.640
You know, I do want to be, you know,

524
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:35.640
considerate of his feelings and mine,

525
00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:36.840
and I don't want to waste our time,

526
00:25:36.840 --> 00:25:38.840
but then it's like, how long do I go on like this

527
00:25:38.840 --> 00:25:41.840
without hurting him and being mindful of his feelings

528
00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:43.160
if I'm like not really sure?

529
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:44.280
So I'm almost kind of like, well,

530
00:25:44.280 --> 00:25:47.160
unless he brings it up or has that conversation,

531
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:48.560
like I think it was Aubrey,

532
00:25:48.560 --> 00:25:51.240
then I'm not doing anything wrong by seeing other people

533
00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:52.320
and just exploring my feelings.

534
00:25:52.320 --> 00:25:53.200
I'm not kissing him.

535
00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:54.120
I'm not leading him on.

536
00:25:54.120 --> 00:25:55.480
I'm not, you know what I mean?

537
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:56.700
So.

538
00:25:56.700 --> 00:25:58.340
Yeah.

539
00:25:58.340 --> 00:25:59.180
That makes sense.

540
00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:00.180
Thank you for sharing.

541
00:26:00.180 --> 00:26:01.900
Thank you for asking me.

542
00:26:01.900 --> 00:26:03.660
I hope you guys don't mind.

543
00:26:03.660 --> 00:26:06.660
You know, Natalie, I've always been interested

544
00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:10.340
in like the spark versus not feeling the spark.

545
00:26:10.340 --> 00:26:13.260
I know that there are people who have love stories

546
00:26:13.260 --> 00:26:15.500
and there wasn't a spark at the beginning,

547
00:26:15.500 --> 00:26:20.460
but a lot of times I'm led by that in dating, so.

548
00:26:20.460 --> 00:26:22.580
Yeah, Natalie, I was just going to say,

549
00:26:22.580 --> 00:26:23.980
Natalie, I was going to say, first of all,

550
00:26:23.980 --> 00:26:25.620
I've been wondering what your face looks like,

551
00:26:25.620 --> 00:26:27.460
so I'm so glad that we're seeing it today.

552
00:26:27.460 --> 00:26:29.620
Yes, you're gorgeous.

553
00:26:29.620 --> 00:26:30.460
Thanks, guys.

554
00:26:30.460 --> 00:26:31.300
I'm just with you.

555
00:26:31.300 --> 00:26:32.140
Go ahead.

556
00:26:32.140 --> 00:26:33.380
But I was also going to say,

557
00:26:33.380 --> 00:26:35.420
just even the way you're talking it through

558
00:26:35.420 --> 00:26:37.260
is so, it's what it is.

559
00:26:37.260 --> 00:26:38.100
Yeah.

560
00:26:38.100 --> 00:26:39.260
You make almost 1,500.

561
00:26:39.260 --> 00:26:41.420
That's what Natalie was talking about.

562
00:26:41.420 --> 00:26:43.380
You know, it's like, really, it was,

563
00:26:43.380 --> 00:26:45.620
and I was just thinking that it was really,

564
00:26:46.780 --> 00:26:48.060
you know, I thought it was really awesome

565
00:26:48.060 --> 00:26:50.780
that you're talking it through so beautifully.

566
00:26:50.780 --> 00:26:52.740
So you're, it's like you're there,

567
00:26:52.740 --> 00:26:54.140
you know what I mean?

568
00:26:54.180 --> 00:26:55.780
It's like you're there.

569
00:26:55.780 --> 00:26:56.620
Thanks, Karen.

570
00:26:56.620 --> 00:26:58.060
Thanks, ladies.

571
00:26:58.060 --> 00:26:59.020
I appreciate you.

572
00:26:59.020 --> 00:27:00.540
Yeah, I usually have my camera off

573
00:27:00.540 --> 00:27:01.500
because I'm doing paperwork

574
00:27:01.500 --> 00:27:03.180
because I'm technically on the clock till five,

575
00:27:03.180 --> 00:27:05.580
and then it's like, kind of like,

576
00:27:05.580 --> 00:27:06.420
I'm in the background,

577
00:27:06.420 --> 00:27:07.540
I don't like to see when people are like busy

578
00:27:07.540 --> 00:27:08.380
and things like that.

579
00:27:08.380 --> 00:27:09.220
But thank you.

580
00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:10.500
It's great to be here and connect with all of you.

581
00:27:10.500 --> 00:27:12.580
And you know, you're my sisters in Christ,

582
00:27:12.580 --> 00:27:14.460
and I just look forward to our calls together

583
00:27:14.460 --> 00:27:16.740
every Tuesday, and we have to learn from one another

584
00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:18.540
and grow from another and support each other

585
00:27:18.540 --> 00:27:19.380
in this process.

586
00:27:19.380 --> 00:27:20.980
It's really hard for me to move on to phase three,

587
00:27:20.980 --> 00:27:23.580
because I'm like, I don't want to lose Ebony either.

588
00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:29.540
I felt like that too when I was in phase one

589
00:27:29.540 --> 00:27:32.420
for Bethany, and I was like, I didn't want to leave.

590
00:27:32.420 --> 00:27:36.700
And then the Lord told me, you need to leave.

591
00:27:36.700 --> 00:27:41.140
Hey, Felicia, I think you're unmuted and don't realize it.

592
00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:45.380
I mean, I'm so sorry.

593
00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:46.460
There we go.

594
00:27:46.460 --> 00:27:47.300
Yeah.

595
00:27:47.300 --> 00:27:48.140
Go ahead, Lolita.

596
00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:52.940
Stephanie, I felt the same way.

597
00:27:53.180 --> 00:27:55.300
I didn't want to lose Bethany,

598
00:27:55.300 --> 00:27:58.820
but then moving on, Ebony's so amazing.

599
00:27:58.820 --> 00:28:01.740
Yeah, Ebony and Carla is so amazing.

600
00:28:01.740 --> 00:28:03.820
They're so different.

601
00:28:03.820 --> 00:28:06.220
Like, Bethany's so good with artwork,

602
00:28:06.220 --> 00:28:08.180
and they're so good with dating

603
00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:10.340
and like to navigate this process.

604
00:28:10.340 --> 00:28:12.020
It's like, you know, when Jackie picked them

605
00:28:12.020 --> 00:28:13.740
and set them in the, you know,

606
00:28:13.740 --> 00:28:15.740
like, you know, because I've been done

607
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:17.860
with week two for a while.

608
00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:22.900
I just, I was like, I'm afraid of the audience.

609
00:28:23.740 --> 00:28:25.940
Hey, ladies, can y'all hear me, see me?

610
00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:26.780
Oh.

611
00:28:26.780 --> 00:28:27.620
We can hear you.

612
00:28:27.620 --> 00:28:28.460
We can hear you.

613
00:28:28.460 --> 00:28:29.660
We can see you.

614
00:28:29.660 --> 00:28:30.980
Can't see me?

615
00:28:30.980 --> 00:28:31.820
No.

616
00:28:31.820 --> 00:28:32.660
No.

617
00:28:35.140 --> 00:28:35.980
Weird.

618
00:28:37.020 --> 00:28:38.660
I'm having connection issues.

619
00:28:38.660 --> 00:28:41.980
I'm so sorry, but I'm connecting on my phone now,

620
00:28:41.980 --> 00:28:44.660
so I should be able to hear you.

621
00:28:46.660 --> 00:28:48.220
Now we can hardly hear you.

622
00:28:49.220 --> 00:28:50.060
Yes.

623
00:28:50.980 --> 00:28:52.900
You're cutting, cutting in and out.

624
00:29:02.860 --> 00:29:05.140
Let's, let's just start praying.

625
00:29:05.140 --> 00:29:05.980
Is it?

626
00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:09.860
Yeah, let's just start praying for the connection.

627
00:29:10.700 --> 00:29:13.700
The Father God, in the name of Jesus Lord,

628
00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:17.100
we just take control of the airways

629
00:29:17.100 --> 00:29:19.500
in the name of Christ Jesus Lord.

630
00:29:19.500 --> 00:29:23.140
We just ask you to let Ebony come back

631
00:29:23.140 --> 00:29:25.740
through clear and sound,

632
00:29:25.740 --> 00:29:28.180
and we can see her and everything.

633
00:29:28.180 --> 00:29:31.460
And we just take, we just go against

634
00:29:31.460 --> 00:29:33.500
whatever the enemy is trying to do

635
00:29:33.500 --> 00:29:35.820
to stop her from coming to us.

636
00:29:35.820 --> 00:29:39.300
And we just, we just, we just pray for her.

637
00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:43.180
We just pray for her to stop her from helping us

638
00:29:43.180 --> 00:29:46.540
and helping us to walk through certain things.

639
00:29:46.540 --> 00:29:49.860
Lord, we just take, take our spiritual authority

640
00:29:49.860 --> 00:29:54.620
and we just cast down any fiery darts

641
00:29:54.620 --> 00:29:57.020
or anything that the enemy is trying to do

642
00:29:57.020 --> 00:30:01.340
through the airways to stop Ebony from being on.

643
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.120
that in Jesus Christ mighty name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank

644
00:30:01.340 --> 00:30:02.940
And we just thank you for that.

645
00:30:06.120 --> 00:30:09.320
you, Lolita, for taking the lead on that. Welcome.

646
00:30:13.600 --> 00:30:18.440
So can I can I share something funny? Well, it's kind of not

647
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:25.080
funny or funny. So twice, I listened to the on online

648
00:30:25.080 --> 00:30:31.320
dating course. And, and it was just both times were just before

649
00:30:31.320 --> 00:30:37.240
I went, went to bed went to sleep. And both times, all night

650
00:30:37.240 --> 00:30:46.480
long, I had nightmares of dating apps and dating and, and it was

651
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:56.000
just reoccurring, reoccurring. And yeah, it was, I'm like, Oh,

652
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.320
Lord, what is wrong with me? That's a funny, not funny,

653
00:30:59.320 --> 00:31:07.760
right? But not really. Yeah, cuz I woke up going, Oh, my gosh.

654
00:31:07.800 --> 00:31:14.800
And it was like, everything that I didn't want in a person. And

655
00:31:14.840 --> 00:31:19.000
it was weird, because at the last, just before I woke up,

656
00:31:19.600 --> 00:31:24.120
this guy in a wheelchair just popped out in front of me. And I

657
00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:28.800
just kind of went, get serious. And this is all in my dream. And

658
00:31:28.800 --> 00:31:34.680
then I wake up. Like, what is going on?

659
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:44.360
Well, we hope it didn't leave you with any trepidation about

660
00:31:44.360 --> 00:31:47.840
online dating, and that it's not a foothold or a place that

661
00:31:47.840 --> 00:31:51.360
would cause you to because maybe that's where your, your spirit

662
00:31:51.360 --> 00:31:55.920
mate is, you know, and maybe the enemy is trying to make you feel

663
00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:59.280
like don't go look down that path, you know, so we hope that

664
00:31:59.280 --> 00:32:00.680
it doesn't fill you with any fear.

665
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:06.680
Well, that was one of the you know, it's like, I haven't been

666
00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:10.760
wanting to do online dating. It's like, I'm 73. And I'm like,

667
00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:14.720
it's just, it's just, I have my own thoughts about it. But

668
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:20.160
anyway. Yesterday, I decided, okay, you know, Lord, I have a

669
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:20.640
question.

670
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:23.200
You're 73 years old?

671
00:32:23.560 --> 00:32:24.160
Yes.

672
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:25.840
You look good.

673
00:32:26.520 --> 00:32:28.760
I agree with that. You look amazing.

674
00:32:32.080 --> 00:32:34.920
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. But I just have to

675
00:32:34.920 --> 00:32:36.880
acknowledge that you look good.

676
00:32:37.840 --> 00:32:39.920
Yes, you do. I was thinking the same thing.

677
00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:42.760
Same thing, too. So beautiful.

678
00:32:45.520 --> 00:32:48.320
I feel great. Thank you.

679
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.920
And a beautiful heart for God Juanita. Beautiful heart for

680
00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:51.280
God.

681
00:32:56.440 --> 00:32:58.400
We can hear you really clearly.

682
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:00.880
One second.

683
00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:04.040
Sorry about that.

684
00:33:04.520 --> 00:33:07.280
With the lead, we can see you now too.

685
00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:10.360
We can say

686
00:33:24.560 --> 00:33:25.720
she's breaking up.

687
00:33:25.720 --> 00:33:26.240
Okay.

688
00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:37.760
Connection clear Jesus make it clear Lord.

689
00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:43.440
Hey, y'all hear me? Is it clear now?

690
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:48.880
We can see you. Yeah, that's better.

691
00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:49.920
Oh,

692
00:33:51.800 --> 00:33:56.920
complex in the work. It's still breaking up a little.

693
00:34:03.120 --> 00:34:04.600
Okay, what about now?

694
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.600
Well, your voice is good, but you're frozen.

695
00:34:12.360 --> 00:34:13.320
You should pull over.

696
00:34:16.520 --> 00:34:17.040
But

697
00:34:18.040 --> 00:34:19.360
you hear me?

698
00:34:21.520 --> 00:34:23.120
Nope, still breaking up.

699
00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:28.520
Sorry.

700
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:32.520
You're loud, but it's

701
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:34.520
low.

702
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:41.120
So you can hear me, but I'm going in and out. Yeah.

703
00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:50.040
To on mine, you're very loud, but but then right on the top of your picture, it says that your bandwidth is low. Yeah.

704
00:34:53.880 --> 00:34:58.160
Am I making complete sentences? Like, can you completely understand me or no?

705
00:34:58.560 --> 00:34:59.920
You break it just hear those.

706
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.560
That's to breaking up.

707
00:35:05.560 --> 00:35:08.200
I hear some sentences.

708
00:35:08.200 --> 00:35:12.760
You may want to turn off your camera.

709
00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:19.840
That does help with.

710
00:35:19.840 --> 00:35:24.600
I wonder if we restart the session.

711
00:35:24.600 --> 00:35:35.800
If it'll help.

712
00:35:35.800 --> 00:35:50.200
It might.

713
00:35:50.200 --> 00:35:55.200
I think she's the only one who can like restart it though.

714
00:35:55.200 --> 00:35:59.720
Yeah, I think so.

715
00:35:59.720 --> 00:36:11.920
Yeah, because she's the host. Yeah.

716
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:24.920
It looks like Karen is the host. I was going to say when she jumped off, I became the host so I can let everybody back in if you guys want to leave and then come back in. I don't know.

717
00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:30.920
Do you want to try it, but try and leave and come back.

718
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:41.920
I'll do this. All right. I don't know if that'll help us because we're not having the issue.

719
00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:45.920
Can y'all hear me? Yes. Yes.

720
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:50.920
Am I complete sentences? Yes. Yes. Oh, great.

721
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:58.920
Yay. Yay. I'm going to stop on the side of the road right here and everybody comes and we'll tell them to go around me.

722
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:10.520
At any point of you guys can hear my emergency lights on wherever they are. Any point of you can't hear me. Somebody just get my attention and tell me.

723
00:37:10.520 --> 00:37:15.720
Okay, so, Ebony, I was given the host. I'm going to make you the host again.

724
00:37:15.720 --> 00:37:21.720
Okay, go for it. Okay, there you go.

725
00:37:21.720 --> 00:37:28.720
Thank you all so much for planning and hanging in here. I'm so sorry that this has happened.

726
00:37:28.720 --> 00:37:43.720
So, I'm not going to talk anymore about the spark. We'll catch up about the spark. I want to give you guys an opportunity to ask your questions and we're going to start with the first person who I told them to keep their hand up. Diana.

727
00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:52.720
Okay, and I have to apologize because I think that this is the enemy messing with me and you.

728
00:37:53.720 --> 00:38:10.720
So, on another date, a week ago Sunday, and the date itself went great. He was exactly what he was supposed to look like. Everything matched.

729
00:38:10.720 --> 00:38:27.720
And my singles group at church were so freaked out thinking that he was going to take me off somewhere and harm me. And oh gosh, it was crazy the stuff that they were saying.

730
00:38:27.720 --> 00:38:31.720
My son drove me because I can't drive right now.

731
00:38:32.720 --> 00:38:53.720
The gentleman lives an hour away. So, we met halfway and the minute he hugged me, it was like, well, we're talking fireworks, not just a spark.

732
00:38:53.720 --> 00:39:20.720
And I was like, is this because I have not been on a date since 2009? But no, I'm pretty sure it was the spirit of lust. And when I started to talk about it on one of the prayer calls in the morning, the minute the host tried to talk to me about it, I lost my internet.

733
00:39:21.720 --> 00:39:38.720
I didn't hear a word she said. She explained it, she prayed over me. I was cut off for a good 15 minutes and missed that much of the call. And now I want to talk about it again and you get bumped off.

734
00:39:38.720 --> 00:39:55.720
So anyway, he did say something to me that has really bothered me. I explained to him I was having surgery on the 21st. We talked about it before the date.

735
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.880
Front about everything. He asked me if I was religious. I

736
00:40:04.720 --> 00:40:06.720
said no, I

737
00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:09.120
Don't consider myself religious. I

738
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.800
Have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ

739
00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:18.320
He's my Lord and Savior I go to church I

740
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.760
You know, I I talked to him about some of the miracles that I've experienced in my life

741
00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:29.640
But I do not think of myself as a religious because

742
00:40:31.120 --> 00:40:35.160
Wasn't it to the religious that crucified Jesus? Well anyway

743
00:40:37.080 --> 00:40:39.080
He told me

744
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:47.440
That he thought that I was making false representation of myself

745
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:49.960
Representation of myself

746
00:40:50.760 --> 00:40:56.680
Because I'm going to be out of commission for six weeks with a sling I will not be able to

747
00:40:58.360 --> 00:41:00.360
Use my arm at all and

748
00:41:01.600 --> 00:41:07.760
My son as lovingly wonderful as he is does not feel like calling me

749
00:41:10.040 --> 00:41:11.720
40 minutes

750
00:41:11.720 --> 00:41:13.520
one way and

751
00:41:13.520 --> 00:41:15.520
hanging around while I

752
00:41:15.680 --> 00:41:21.200
Meet this guy, so I suggested that he maybe would want to come and see me

753
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:28.720
And he he said I shouldn't be on a dating site at all if I cannot

754
00:41:30.680 --> 00:41:35.000
Meet halfway and it just it really made me feel awful

755
00:41:38.600 --> 00:41:40.600
So help honey

756
00:41:40.600 --> 00:41:45.680
Oh, yeah, how long have you been talking to this guy?

757
00:41:49.720 --> 00:41:52.320
Wednesday let's say once no today's Tuesday

758
00:41:53.800 --> 00:41:55.800
Tomorrow will be a

759
00:41:56.120 --> 00:42:03.920
Week X. I started talking to him on Wednesday went on the date on the Sunday. So what it'll be two weeks

760
00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:07.280
right and

761
00:42:07.800 --> 00:42:09.800
You've already seen him once right?

762
00:42:11.600 --> 00:42:17.840
Mm-hmm. Okay, and and y'all were talking about seeing each other again

763
00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:24.480
Yeah, except for he doesn't want to drive all this way to see me

764
00:42:25.640 --> 00:42:27.640
And how far is all this way?

765
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:30.480
It's a little over an hour

766
00:42:31.040 --> 00:42:34.120
Okay, and last time y'all met in the middle

767
00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:40.320
Yeah, and we went a little bit further but Chris my son was okay with that

768
00:42:41.520 --> 00:42:46.600
Okay, and why did that y'all want a little bit further because that's where the Nick like town stuff was it?

769
00:42:47.320 --> 00:42:51.640
Yeah, we're we're outside of Nashville. So we met in Nashville

770
00:42:52.720 --> 00:42:54.720
Got you

771
00:42:55.840 --> 00:42:58.040
Yeah, what do you like about this guy

772
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:03.360
I'd like what he does believe in God

773
00:43:04.120 --> 00:43:09.360
Does not attend church, but said that you know, he does talk to him in

774
00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:16.760
I'd like his stance on

775
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:19.800
world events politics

776
00:43:21.320 --> 00:43:23.400
His sense of humor is really great

777
00:43:24.560 --> 00:43:26.560
There's been no

778
00:43:27.160 --> 00:43:29.160
It has not been difficult to talk

779
00:43:30.040 --> 00:43:38.040
Whereas a lot of people it's like pulling teeth. It's like you can't even get past low. Hey

780
00:43:39.200 --> 00:43:40.760
You know

781
00:43:40.760 --> 00:43:42.760
There's full sentences

782
00:43:42.840 --> 00:43:44.840
We've talked on the phone

783
00:43:47.680 --> 00:43:49.680
He loves animals

784
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:53.120
He's especially funny when he talks to his dog

785
00:43:54.440 --> 00:43:56.440
You know, yeah

786
00:43:56.600 --> 00:43:58.560
It's got a good job

787
00:43:58.600 --> 00:44:02.240
he's a professional drummer in a band and

788
00:44:02.840 --> 00:44:08.960
I've seen his recordings, you know, and then like I said everything matched up

789
00:44:10.120 --> 00:44:12.120
Yes

790
00:44:13.600 --> 00:44:15.600
Yeah

791
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:22.720
So it sounds like he he seems like a great guy to you like you are impressed with him

792
00:44:23.960 --> 00:44:25.320
Yeah

793
00:44:25.320 --> 00:44:27.320
Yeah

794
00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:30.440
What does he like about you what is he sure he likes about you

795
00:44:31.800 --> 00:44:35.560
The the fact that he can talk to me about just about anything

796
00:44:36.520 --> 00:44:38.520
Yes, he did

797
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:43.320
He did get a little freaked out one night. We were talking about

798
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:48.160
Different

799
00:44:48.160 --> 00:44:51.840
evangelists and pastors and stuff that are on TV and

800
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:54.480
and then he

801
00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:59.760
Mentioned that he thought there was one that he thought was demonic and I'm like

802
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.540
You know, what makes you think that and he said, Oh, he speaks in those tongues.

803
00:45:06.540 --> 00:45:10.460
And I went, Oh, really?

804
00:45:10.460 --> 00:45:14.540
I said, Okay, look, there are demonic tongues.

805
00:45:14.540 --> 00:45:17.540
Yes, that that is true.

806
00:45:17.540 --> 00:45:21.180
But there's also the gift of tongues that comes from God.

807
00:45:21.180 --> 00:45:23.180
He goes, What?

808
00:45:23.180 --> 00:45:24.180
Really?

809
00:45:24.180 --> 00:45:25.820
I said, Yeah.

810
00:45:25.820 --> 00:45:27.940
And he said, And you know this?

811
00:45:27.940 --> 00:45:28.940
Why?

812
00:45:28.940 --> 00:45:32.220
I said, Because I have that gift.

813
00:45:32.220 --> 00:45:34.460
And it is a gift.

814
00:45:34.460 --> 00:45:39.260
And then he, you could just tell he didn't believe me.

815
00:45:39.260 --> 00:45:43.460
So he's like, Well, what do you say?

816
00:45:43.460 --> 00:45:48.420
And I said, Well, it's a conversation between the Holy Spirit and God.

817
00:45:48.420 --> 00:45:49.420
On my behalf.

818
00:45:49.420 --> 00:45:51.220
It's not anything I understand.

819
00:45:51.220 --> 00:45:53.460
That's another gift.

820
00:45:53.460 --> 00:45:57.460
Interpretation of tongues is not one of the gifts that I happen to have.

821
00:45:57.460 --> 00:46:02.740
Anyway, he freaked for a few minutes.

822
00:46:02.740 --> 00:46:05.220
And I said, Is this going to be a problem?

823
00:46:05.220 --> 00:46:07.780
Because this is who I am.

824
00:46:07.780 --> 00:46:09.700
And that was another thing I liked about him.

825
00:46:09.700 --> 00:46:16.940
He's very honest upfront, told me if there were no sparks that we would just be friends

826
00:46:16.940 --> 00:46:18.220
and that would be it.

827
00:46:18.220 --> 00:46:22.380
But we both agreed there was more than sparks.

828
00:46:22.380 --> 00:46:26.060
Well, anyway, um, yeah.

829
00:46:26.060 --> 00:46:33.140
So I made no apologies for the fact that I love God.

830
00:46:33.140 --> 00:46:36.180
He is everything to me.

831
00:46:36.180 --> 00:46:40.940
I let him know right up front that I'm not going to stop going to church.

832
00:46:40.940 --> 00:46:49.740
I'm not going to stop having my every morning phone calls and my Sunday night calls my Tuesday

833
00:46:49.740 --> 00:46:54.580
night calls and God is always going to be a part of my life.

834
00:46:55.580 --> 00:46:58.580
It's like, how do you like now?

835
00:46:58.580 --> 00:46:59.580
Yeah.

836
00:46:59.580 --> 00:47:05.420
And so what do you think about and there's a reason like I generally you guys have been

837
00:47:05.420 --> 00:47:09.740
on call for I've not taken this much time to explore but I think it's really important

838
00:47:09.740 --> 00:47:15.580
sometimes that we identify why we like a person if they also like us and will have they shown

839
00:47:15.580 --> 00:47:20.660
us the reason why they like us so that we can also be clear about when we make decisions

840
00:47:20.660 --> 00:47:23.860
and not live in regret.

841
00:47:23.940 --> 00:47:27.820
So in order to do those, you have to identify all the moving parts.

842
00:47:27.820 --> 00:47:33.340
So you won't feel like you're missing out on something when you have to set a boundary.

843
00:47:33.340 --> 00:47:37.940
You're very aware of how they're making you feel while they're making why they make you

844
00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:40.700
feel that way, right?

845
00:47:40.700 --> 00:47:46.780
It's a big deal that you know that because you're going to feel like you're losing and

846
00:47:46.780 --> 00:47:50.820
you can't even identify why you feel like you're losing something.

847
00:47:50.820 --> 00:47:54.260
And so now I want to ask you.

848
00:47:54.260 --> 00:48:01.220
So how are you processing what he said to you that you were a fraud that you should

849
00:48:01.220 --> 00:48:05.380
have never showed up that way and that he is no longer interested in getting to know

850
00:48:05.380 --> 00:48:13.900
you because you can't meet him halfway in light of all the things you said he was or

851
00:48:13.900 --> 00:48:18.260
you think he is and then that's what he said to you in return.

852
00:48:18.260 --> 00:48:25.140
What do you make of that, Diane?

853
00:48:25.140 --> 00:48:34.820
I think he's more up in the world than I am, could be that unequally yoked.

854
00:48:34.820 --> 00:48:44.500
He also does not understand that there will be no sex unless we're married.

855
00:48:44.500 --> 00:48:46.500
He's like, well, that's unrealistic.

856
00:48:46.500 --> 00:48:50.500
I said, maybe for you.

857
00:48:50.500 --> 00:48:51.500
Yeah.

858
00:48:51.500 --> 00:48:56.900
So as you can see, Diana, as we're processing ladies, and I hope that you're processing

859
00:48:56.900 --> 00:49:02.060
along with us and it's just, you know, we're taking our time processing it, but you know,

860
00:49:02.060 --> 00:49:07.300
there were a lot of wonderful things you said about him, but I noticed that you were defending

861
00:49:07.300 --> 00:49:09.660
your belief and I'm not going to leave this alone.

862
00:49:09.660 --> 00:49:10.660
I'm not going to leave this alone.

863
00:49:10.660 --> 00:49:11.660
And how do you like me now?

864
00:49:11.660 --> 00:49:18.340
Um, but when it, but also in the same brief you're saying to me, you know, I like he's

865
00:49:18.340 --> 00:49:21.980
not in church, but he like God, I speak in tongues.

866
00:49:21.980 --> 00:49:22.980
He thinks that's demonic.

867
00:49:22.980 --> 00:49:29.340
He didn't understand that we're not going to have sex before marriage.

868
00:49:29.340 --> 00:49:33.260
And so I want you to see how these worlds are colliding.

869
00:49:33.260 --> 00:49:35.620
Yeah.

870
00:49:35.620 --> 00:49:36.620
Like a brick wall.

871
00:49:36.620 --> 00:49:42.460
And there's a collision happening here and it's happening very early on.

872
00:49:42.460 --> 00:49:51.820
And I think it's to your benefit because when a person says to you that you deceived me

873
00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:56.220
and you're having surgery, so now I can't see you.

874
00:49:56.220 --> 00:49:58.040
So that's the case.

875
00:49:58.040 --> 00:49:59.820
If he feels that that's an issue.

876
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.160
then that tells you that he's not willing to go through that process and they should speak

877
00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:14.160
something to you like oh okay you have that choice and i understand and it was a pleasure

878
00:50:14.160 --> 00:50:22.000
getting to know you that's exactly what i said yeah yeah i told them i said you are free to date

879
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:30.160
other people you know this is there's nothing that said who is why we're really really like you

880
00:50:30.160 --> 00:50:34.880
and i'm like well what's not to like right

881
00:50:37.200 --> 00:50:44.560
two irons to be um be um and i mean you did really well i think you stay true to who you are

882
00:50:44.560 --> 00:50:49.920
you've expressed yourself very clearly and when we stay true to who we are we express who we are

883
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:54.560
we have to also do the due diligence recognize when that person is not aligned with who we are

884
00:50:56.320 --> 00:50:59.920
it's a yes until it's a no and when a person says hey

885
00:51:02.080 --> 00:51:03.600
i do six before marriage

886
00:51:08.080 --> 00:51:16.080
that's like a that's an inner heart thing that's a that's an inner thing that's not a

887
00:51:16.160 --> 00:51:17.520
well i'm not going to do it with you

888
00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:26.480
you're talking to him somebody's gonna cave in and if that's your stand that's a deal breaker

889
00:51:26.480 --> 00:51:31.600
that's a strong deal that's a non-negotiable and so when it comes down to stuff like that

890
00:51:31.600 --> 00:51:37.840
but even furthermore you're just on the first week so that means we were talking too much

891
00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:44.320
that we started talking about things that were not talkable for the first week

892
00:51:45.120 --> 00:51:50.640
and that can happen one way is that we like them so much we spend so much time talking

893
00:51:50.640 --> 00:51:55.840
then we start talking about deeper things and that's the that's the kind of the dangerous spot

894
00:51:55.840 --> 00:52:02.720
of talking too much too soon too quickly you run out of other stuff to talk about

895
00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:06.800
and so what we want to do is pace how much we talk even though we really like each other

896
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:11.040
we're super excited and it's so easy to do everybody's done it i've done it i don't know

897
00:52:11.040 --> 00:52:17.200
there's a woman on the call who has not done it that's just a part of it having to pace yourself

898
00:52:17.200 --> 00:52:21.360
and he's really good practice for you diana because you stand firm on what you believe in

899
00:52:22.160 --> 00:52:27.600
and so when you have that part down pack you could practice you get more practice in it so

900
00:52:27.600 --> 00:52:34.480
you can say oh i see what i did this time i will not practice that next time and so we want to

901
00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:40.160
stick with the boundaries that we talked about in the um the video we don't want to talk about

902
00:52:40.160 --> 00:52:47.360
too much of emotional things too much private stuff too much spiritual stuff and too um we don't

903
00:52:47.360 --> 00:52:53.760
want to talk about sex definitely um but spiritual emotional boundaries we want to hit them really

904
00:52:53.760 --> 00:53:00.320
really hard and then if a comment is made you just always say oh that's an idea lord that's

905
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:03.680
not something i'm comfortable talking about it's just going to get to know you as a person

906
00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:08.800
and then we want to and i'm just throwing out all these ideas like you want to go on google

907
00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:12.320
you want to google questions to talk about on the first date

908
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:19.760
icebreaker questions this is not a lame thing this is a real thing because i do it a lot

909
00:53:23.520 --> 00:53:25.760
i have always been my go-to

910
00:53:28.640 --> 00:53:32.800
now i want to hit this wire anyway i know we got other ones that we're not going to cut it

911
00:53:32.800 --> 00:53:37.040
out at the original time ladies but it's really important when you first get out in dating

912
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:44.080
some people think well i'm just a deep deep thinker i'm just a deep type of person and i

913
00:53:44.080 --> 00:53:52.400
want us to commit this uh to our memories even as a law if you must we don't spill our pearl before

914
00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:58.800
swine you have community to give your wisdom to but i would encourage every person just as

915
00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:04.640
the scripture encourages us not to spill our pearl before swine don't pour out your goods before the

916
00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:08.800
before a person that you don't know who have the ability to steward well what you're sharing with

917
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:13.920
them you don't even know if they carry a value for what you have and so you don't just spill it

918
00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:18.960
out not with the man not with a woman on your job not with somebody on the street anywhere because

919
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:24.400
the bible warns us against spilling our pearls before swine means he says when you do it they

920
00:54:24.400 --> 00:54:32.800
will trample over it and so that's how you apply wisdom to this idea that just i'm just deep like

921
00:54:32.800 --> 00:54:42.080
that no that's not wisdom that's what you're operating you're not operating in wisdom because

922
00:54:42.080 --> 00:54:47.280
no matter how deep you are you have to take deep and put a wall around it called wisdom

923
00:54:48.560 --> 00:54:55.360
we build healthy connections by pacing ourselves i don't care who the person is

924
00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:59.920
healthy connections are built in pacing i know everybody has met somebody

925
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.000
at it that you thought was like, wow, I thought I knew him a little better than that.

926
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:06.000
She came out so different.

927
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:08.320
I didn't know she was like that.

928
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:11.160
It's the same thing.

929
00:55:11.160 --> 00:55:14.680
Relationships are relationships.

930
00:55:14.680 --> 00:55:22.480
And relationships are built best on best practices.

931
00:55:22.480 --> 00:55:25.640
And so we want to stay away from the deep very early on.

932
00:55:25.640 --> 00:55:33.000
Sounds good, but you did a really good job, Diane, and I just, I'm so glad you shared

933
00:55:33.000 --> 00:55:35.000
first, and I'm so glad we were able to break that down.

934
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:37.000
That was really, really, really, really good.

935
00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:39.000
It was really, really good.

936
00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:41.000
Thank you.

937
00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:45.000
Yeah, and so have you blocked and blessed them?

938
00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:47.000
Yeah.

939
00:55:47.360 --> 00:55:56.240
So do you feel that I should, for the next six weeks after the surgery, just not even

940
00:55:56.240 --> 00:55:58.240
try to date, or?

941
00:55:58.240 --> 00:56:00.240
Give me one second.

942
00:56:00.240 --> 00:56:02.240
Hmm.

943
00:56:02.240 --> 00:56:04.240
You should.

944
00:56:04.240 --> 00:56:06.240
I should.

945
00:56:06.240 --> 00:56:08.240
Okay.

946
00:56:08.240 --> 00:56:12.240
What she said to you is not true.

947
00:56:12.240 --> 00:56:14.240
You're not being deceitful.

948
00:56:14.240 --> 00:56:16.240
Let's just take care of that lie.

949
00:56:16.240 --> 00:56:18.240
That's not true.

950
00:56:18.240 --> 00:56:20.240
Okay.

951
00:56:20.240 --> 00:56:26.240
However, you're going to be able to, you can very easily, you can be able to, you can

952
00:56:26.240 --> 00:56:28.240
video call somebody.

953
00:56:28.240 --> 00:56:32.240
So if you're having surgery and you still want to spray, you can let them know, like,

954
00:56:32.240 --> 00:56:34.240
how we could do a video call.

955
00:56:34.240 --> 00:56:36.240
So you can do that.

956
00:56:36.240 --> 00:56:38.240
That's an option.

957
00:56:38.240 --> 00:56:42.240
But you do realize that that's going to prolong you, you actually meeting that person in person,

958
00:56:42.240 --> 00:56:44.240
because you won't be able to drive for the next six weeks.

959
00:56:44.240 --> 00:56:46.240
Is that right?

960
00:56:46.240 --> 00:56:48.240
And so, but you can video call somebody.

961
00:56:48.240 --> 00:56:52.240
So if you're having surgery and you still want to spray, you can let them know, like,

962
00:56:52.240 --> 00:56:54.240
how we could do a video call.

963
00:56:54.240 --> 00:57:00.240
And so, but you can video message.

964
00:57:00.240 --> 00:57:02.240
It's nothing wrong with that.

965
00:57:02.240 --> 00:57:06.240
If a person is in agreement with it.

966
00:57:06.240 --> 00:57:10.240
So, you're on mute because I have to mute everybody.

967
00:57:10.240 --> 00:57:16.240
But, yeah, that wasn't right the way he treated you.

968
00:57:16.240 --> 00:57:18.240
How about I'm just going to put that out there.

969
00:57:18.240 --> 00:57:20.240
That wasn't right.

970
00:57:20.240 --> 00:57:22.240
You weren't being deceitful.

971
00:57:22.240 --> 00:57:26.240
Another thing, you guys, I just want to add this, and we're going to move on.

972
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:32.240
If you hug somebody and you realize that when you hug them, that there was a spirit of lust,

973
00:57:32.240 --> 00:57:36.240
it won't be long before you're caught up in their spirit of lust,

974
00:57:36.240 --> 00:57:40.240
because lust has a way of drawing you in, and it feels so good.

975
00:57:40.240 --> 00:57:48.240
And if you haven't touched or had skin contact with a man in a very long time, it feels good.

976
00:57:48.240 --> 00:57:52.240
You don't know how you're going to guard yourself against a fire that you were aware of,

977
00:57:52.240 --> 00:57:56.240
because you are sure to be burned.

978
00:57:56.240 --> 00:58:02.240
And when you recognize that this man was operating in the spirit of lust,

979
00:58:02.240 --> 00:58:08.240
there may have been an indication to you that you may not want to invite him to your home.

980
00:58:08.240 --> 00:58:10.240
Let's say that.

981
00:58:10.240 --> 00:58:14.240
And so, he's like, hey, you can come over here and see me.

982
00:58:14.240 --> 00:58:18.240
What if you decide to keep talking to him when you hooked him and he had lust on him?

983
00:58:18.240 --> 00:58:24.240
You don't want to get caught up in tight spaces.

984
00:58:24.240 --> 00:58:26.240
Okay?

985
00:58:26.240 --> 00:58:30.240
If you decide to proceed.

986
00:58:30.240 --> 00:58:32.240
All right.

987
00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:34.240
I don't know who was next.

988
00:58:34.240 --> 00:58:40.240
Just unmute and go for it, because I got a little disjointed.

989
00:58:40.240 --> 00:58:42.240
Okay.

990
00:58:42.240 --> 00:58:44.240
Can I ask a quick question, Ebony?

991
00:58:44.240 --> 00:58:46.240
This is Allison.

992
00:58:46.240 --> 00:58:48.240
First of all, thank you so much.

993
00:58:48.240 --> 00:58:56.240
Last week, you talked about, I was telling you, a lot of the men that I get have fish in their hands and all that.

994
00:58:56.240 --> 00:59:00.240
And you said you don't know if he's fishing because he hadn't met you.

995
00:59:00.240 --> 00:59:02.240
That unlocks something in me.

996
00:59:02.240 --> 00:59:04.240
Seriously.

997
00:59:04.240 --> 00:59:08.240
So I said this week, I'm talking to every man that will talk to me.

998
00:59:08.240 --> 00:59:10.240
And this is my question.

999
00:59:10.240 --> 00:59:12.240
And I wonder if other women have had it.

1000
00:59:12.240 --> 00:59:14.240
One man found me.

1001
00:59:14.240 --> 00:59:16.240
I wasn't matched with him.

1002
00:59:16.240 --> 00:59:18.240
And he's a farmer.

1003
00:59:18.240 --> 00:59:20.240
And he proceeded.

1004
00:59:20.240 --> 00:59:22.240
Seems like a good guy.

1005
00:59:22.240 --> 00:59:24.240
He proceeded to tell me when his wife died.

1006
00:59:24.240 --> 00:59:26.240
And, you know, was very honest.

1007
00:59:26.240 --> 00:59:28.240
And he said, you seem like from your profile, you're very honest.

1008
00:59:28.240 --> 00:59:30.240
And I am.

1009
00:59:30.240 --> 00:59:36.240
But the deal is, the one career I've told the Lord my entire life is I don't want to be a farmer.

1010
00:59:36.240 --> 00:59:38.240
I don't want to be a farmer.

1011
00:59:38.240 --> 00:59:40.240
It is.

1012
00:59:40.240 --> 00:59:42.240
And I truly don't want to be a farmer.

1013
00:59:42.240 --> 00:59:44.240
But I said, hang with it.

1014
00:59:44.240 --> 00:59:46.240
This could be like a fishing story.

1015
00:59:46.240 --> 00:59:52.240
But then he proceeded to say, because he's volunteering, I'm not asking him.

1016
00:59:52.240 --> 00:59:56.240
But he said, you know, I go to a country church of about 80.

1017
00:59:56.240 --> 00:59:58.240
My church is about 1,500.

1018
00:59:58.240 --> 01:00:00.240
And it's very honest.

1019
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.640
diverse and I but I still rode with it and I said this is not a good match and he's I can tell he's

1020
01:00:06.640 --> 01:00:13.280
a good guy and then he said I said he said what do you love to do and I said travel that's what

1021
01:00:13.280 --> 01:00:19.040
I want to do and he said yeah I like to go you know to towns over but then I like to come home

1022
01:00:19.040 --> 01:00:28.720
to my farm so after all of that because I don't want to lead a man on when you know if there's

1023
01:00:28.720 --> 01:00:34.480
unless there is a burning bush in my front yard and the lord said he's the man he is not my man

1024
01:00:35.440 --> 01:00:42.000
so I blessed him I said a blessing over him because he's a godly guy and I said but you

1025
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:47.360
know what I don't think we have a future and I moved on was that okay

1026
01:00:47.360 --> 01:00:59.120
did he live close to you huh did he live close to you oh probably yeah he was talking about

1027
01:00:59.120 --> 01:01:05.920
going to a church that's probably 20 minutes from my home but but no he doesn't he's probably an

1028
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:12.480
hour away but he said yeah come into town and go to this church sometimes but his church isn't

1029
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:19.920
he said a country church of 80 people and I go to a church of about 1500 and I love it

1030
01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:29.600
right so yeah trying to be open-minded you did good bites but okay you did good I would have

1031
01:01:29.600 --> 01:01:35.840
liked you to get a date out of it but you did good like you know why are you gonna date someone you

1032
01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:44.640
know because you're dating for discovery you are not dating for a spouse and I know you probably

1033
01:01:44.640 --> 01:01:49.200
feel like that you don't have time for that you handle it well I'm very proud of you for stepping

1034
01:01:49.200 --> 01:01:53.760
out I like your idea about my talk to whoever will talk to me but when you ask me about my

1035
01:01:53.760 --> 01:01:58.560
own little thing on the inside I'm like Allison get a cup of coffee out of it I just want you

1036
01:01:58.560 --> 01:02:04.880
to have the date I don't believe I'm gonna be honest with you I don't agree with the idea that

1037
01:02:04.880 --> 01:02:09.680
I could lead a person on it from being up front and so my conversation will be like you seem like

1038
01:02:09.680 --> 01:02:14.720
a great guy I don't think we'll be a match for the future but if you ever want to grab a cup of

1039
01:02:14.720 --> 01:02:21.600
coffee I'm down for it something like that but I don't believe that you're going to take advantage

1040
01:02:21.600 --> 01:02:29.200
of somebody emotionally emotionally because when we are clear we are kind but if you have to say

1041
01:02:29.280 --> 01:02:32.480
you did good I like that you're talking about I liked it when you kept hanging on

1042
01:02:32.480 --> 01:02:37.760
to me like let me just see let me just see now all signs pointed that y'all wasn't gonna land

1043
01:02:37.760 --> 01:02:47.040
it real well but I want you on a date and you're gonna date you're gonna date people that are not

1044
01:02:47.040 --> 01:02:56.640
gonna be your spouse it can't be one be your spouse one of them right now I want you in the

1045
01:02:56.640 --> 01:03:06.320
day when he says you know my favorite place is with my animals in the barn

1046
01:03:08.400 --> 01:03:13.040
but hear me safe date safe date

1047
01:03:16.080 --> 01:03:24.000
safe men to date safe men to date they can hold a conversation to date to date to date

1048
01:03:24.880 --> 01:03:32.560
did you hear me I did so I can't go to the third part until I have a date I hear you

1049
01:03:38.560 --> 01:03:44.080
but when you identify a man that y'all may not match I really want you to let this sink in

1050
01:03:44.080 --> 01:03:48.720
I'm telling you when you get to the other side of the program you're gonna say I see what they

1051
01:03:48.880 --> 01:03:54.560
say I see what they were talking about it took me a while to come through the ringer to get there

1052
01:03:54.560 --> 01:04:00.240
but it really does work and I had to learn how to pick me I got like you I'm like look whoever

1053
01:04:00.240 --> 01:04:05.520
talked to me I'm talking to and if they got some sense I'm gonna go on a date with them and that's

1054
01:04:05.520 --> 01:04:12.160
how my dating life start picking up okay um I'm very much trapped in the mindset what's my time

1055
01:04:12.880 --> 01:04:14.080
I already know when you're gonna work

1056
01:04:16.080 --> 01:04:23.520
everything and Jake will be like look you need to go on a date well and I'm not thinking that

1057
01:04:23.520 --> 01:04:30.560
I don't want to lead someone on honestly that's what I thought you won't you won't okay you need

1058
01:04:30.560 --> 01:04:36.880
to just stay clear and remember that clarity is kindness and that don't be under the assumption

1059
01:04:36.880 --> 01:04:45.520
that another adult can't make decision for themselves okay we okay that's you did good

1060
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:47.680
thank you you're welcome

1061
01:04:54.480 --> 01:04:59.440
um okay I actually have two questions Ebony um one is

1062
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.840
Thank you, I have started going online.

1063
01:05:02.840 --> 01:05:07.840
I have a few guys who I am kind of sort of chatting with.

1064
01:05:09.120 --> 01:05:12.160
What's really curious is the one that is,

1065
01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:13.840
came out and said, I'm a Christian.

1066
01:05:13.840 --> 01:05:16.720
He like gave me a lot of information.

1067
01:05:16.720 --> 01:05:17.560
He really did.

1068
01:05:17.560 --> 01:05:22.440
It was like a book along with his Facebook profile

1069
01:05:22.440 --> 01:05:23.720
and everything else like that.

1070
01:05:23.720 --> 01:05:27.640
It was a lot, but he seemed,

1071
01:05:27.640 --> 01:05:31.720
then said he would like to maybe meet or text or call.

1072
01:05:31.720 --> 01:05:36.400
And so I am listening and saying, okay, we wanna meet.

1073
01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:39.840
But then he backed off of that and then went back into,

1074
01:05:39.840 --> 01:05:42.320
okay, let's call, which I was fine.

1075
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:44.680
But I then kind of said, well, yes, we can call

1076
01:05:44.680 --> 01:05:48.960
or maybe an online, maybe a face chat, you know, maybe.

1077
01:05:48.960 --> 01:05:53.920
And he is like not wanting to do any chatting

1078
01:05:53.920 --> 01:05:54.800
like face to face.

1079
01:05:54.840 --> 01:05:58.200
And so that was just kind of like a moment

1080
01:05:58.200 --> 01:06:00.600
because once again, he gave so much information

1081
01:06:00.600 --> 01:06:03.520
and he seems pretty solid,

1082
01:06:03.520 --> 01:06:06.240
but I just kind of wanted to hear your feedback for that.

1083
01:06:06.240 --> 01:06:08.680
And then, you know, I've got another question too.

1084
01:06:08.680 --> 01:06:10.280
We've been talking to him.

1085
01:06:12.480 --> 01:06:13.880
Yeah, we just started chatting.

1086
01:06:13.880 --> 01:06:16.160
I mean, literally I just filled out everything online

1087
01:06:16.160 --> 01:06:18.000
a couple of, a day or so ago.

1088
01:06:18.000 --> 01:06:20.520
So he popped up about a day or so ago.

1089
01:06:20.520 --> 01:06:21.440
So yeah.

1090
01:06:23.440 --> 01:06:24.280
Okay.

1091
01:06:25.520 --> 01:06:27.600
So you started talking to him yesterday

1092
01:06:27.600 --> 01:06:28.760
or the day before yesterday?

1093
01:06:28.760 --> 01:06:30.040
Yesterday.

1094
01:06:30.040 --> 01:06:30.880
Yes.

1095
01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:32.760
And how much have y'all talked in that time?

1096
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:36.720
I mean, have y'all voice call or in chat?

1097
01:06:36.720 --> 01:06:39.160
No, we haven't done anything yet.

1098
01:06:39.160 --> 01:06:44.000
And one of the things that happened was actually

1099
01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:49.000
that he, that because of today, we would have called today

1100
01:06:49.840 --> 01:06:53.120
but it was running so late after I got my daughter situated

1101
01:06:53.120 --> 01:06:56.760
and I wanted to make sure that I was on the call tonight.

1102
01:06:56.760 --> 01:06:57.880
So I just did not.

1103
01:06:57.880 --> 01:07:00.600
I said, hey, let's talk tomorrow.

1104
01:07:00.600 --> 01:07:01.680
So.

1105
01:07:01.680 --> 01:07:03.920
So he shared a lot of the information

1106
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:06.560
with you via text of the app?

1107
01:07:06.560 --> 01:07:09.880
Yes, on the app.

1108
01:07:09.880 --> 01:07:10.880
On the app.

1109
01:07:10.880 --> 01:07:11.720
Okay.

1110
01:07:11.720 --> 01:07:13.000
And you suggested to him on the app

1111
01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:17.280
that y'all do meetup or FaceTime, video call.

1112
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:18.880
Yeah, he suggested it first.

1113
01:07:18.880 --> 01:07:20.480
He like, at the very end, he was like,

1114
01:07:20.480 --> 01:07:22.760
hey, we'd like to meet up, call, text,

1115
01:07:23.400 --> 01:07:24.240
you know, whatever.

1116
01:07:24.240 --> 01:07:26.080
He like threw everything out there.

1117
01:07:26.080 --> 01:07:27.600
Responded back and said.

1118
01:07:29.520 --> 01:07:31.000
Yes.

1119
01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:31.840
Yes.

1120
01:07:31.840 --> 01:07:34.080
And then when did he turn back and say no?

1121
01:07:34.960 --> 01:07:38.120
After I said, hey, yeah, let's grab some coffee.

1122
01:07:39.120 --> 01:07:41.040
And then he said.

1123
01:07:41.040 --> 01:07:45.000
He said, I would feel better talking or something first.

1124
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:46.000
So he wanted to talk.

1125
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:50.240
He backed it up to say he wanted to talk on the phone first.

1126
01:07:50.240 --> 01:07:52.360
You said, okay.

1127
01:07:52.960 --> 01:07:53.800
I said, okay.

1128
01:07:53.800 --> 01:07:55.240
What's your number?

1129
01:07:55.240 --> 01:07:56.640
Did you ask?

1130
01:07:56.640 --> 01:07:57.480
Yes.

1131
01:07:57.480 --> 01:07:58.640
Did y'all exchange numbers?

1132
01:07:58.640 --> 01:07:59.480
Yes.

1133
01:07:59.480 --> 01:08:00.320
Yes.

1134
01:08:00.320 --> 01:08:02.160
And I gave him my Google number.

1135
01:08:02.160 --> 01:08:03.040
Okay.

1136
01:08:03.040 --> 01:08:05.240
And did y'all schedule to talk?

1137
01:08:07.120 --> 01:08:09.320
We're scheduled to talk tomorrow, sometime.

1138
01:08:10.240 --> 01:08:12.000
But that hasn't happened yet.

1139
01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:13.400
Hasn't happened yet.

1140
01:08:13.400 --> 01:08:15.040
But he hasn't backed out of it.

1141
01:08:16.040 --> 01:08:17.640
Did I freeze y'all?

1142
01:08:20.120 --> 01:08:20.960
No?

1143
01:08:20.960 --> 01:08:21.800
You're in for.

1144
01:08:21.800 --> 01:08:22.640
Karen did.

1145
01:08:22.640 --> 01:08:23.960
Okay.

1146
01:08:23.960 --> 01:08:26.760
Who's gonna be traumatized from all this freezing tonight?

1147
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:27.600
Okay.

1148
01:08:27.600 --> 01:08:28.439
Karen.

1149
01:08:28.439 --> 01:08:29.760
Okay, I'm here.

1150
01:08:29.760 --> 01:08:30.600
I'm here.

1151
01:08:30.600 --> 01:08:31.439
You're back.

1152
01:08:31.439 --> 01:08:32.279
Okay.

1153
01:08:32.279 --> 01:08:35.279
So she hasn't backed out of the call tomorrow, right?

1154
01:08:36.120 --> 01:08:36.960
Right.

1155
01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:37.800
Yes, ma'am.

1156
01:08:38.920 --> 01:08:39.760
You didn't.

1157
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:40.600
You didn't.

1158
01:08:40.600 --> 01:08:41.439
You didn't.

1159
01:08:41.439 --> 01:08:42.279
You didn't.

1160
01:08:42.279 --> 01:08:43.120
You didn't.

1161
01:08:44.120 --> 01:08:47.680
You do, I need to go to date to phase two.

1162
01:08:47.680 --> 01:08:49.279
Go to phase three.

1163
01:08:49.279 --> 01:08:51.240
You don't have to go on a date to go to phase three,

1164
01:08:51.240 --> 01:08:53.359
but we do want you to date in phase two.

1165
01:08:53.359 --> 01:08:54.200
Karen.

1166
01:08:55.319 --> 01:08:56.600
Okay.

1167
01:08:56.600 --> 01:08:58.040
What's the question?

1168
01:08:58.040 --> 01:09:00.840
That he doesn't, that he, that he doesn't,

1169
01:09:00.840 --> 01:09:03.560
that he, even though he said those things,

1170
01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:06.800
he declined the FaceTime into the in-person

1171
01:09:06.800 --> 01:09:09.840
and he backed up to say, let's just talk first?

1172
01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:11.200
Yeah.

1173
01:09:11.200 --> 01:09:12.080
Okay.

1174
01:09:12.080 --> 01:09:13.800
Let's take the phone call tomorrow.

1175
01:09:13.800 --> 01:09:15.359
Maybe he got nervous.

1176
01:09:15.359 --> 01:09:16.359
I don't know.

1177
01:09:16.359 --> 01:09:18.279
Take the phone call tomorrow.

1178
01:09:18.279 --> 01:09:19.600
When you take the phone call tomorrow,

1179
01:09:19.600 --> 01:09:22.760
you let him know that you're interested in in-person dates.

1180
01:09:22.760 --> 01:09:25.640
And so you do like to see the person that you're talking to.

1181
01:09:25.640 --> 01:09:27.120
And so it's going to be important to you

1182
01:09:27.120 --> 01:09:29.840
that you guys go ahead and schedule a video chat,

1183
01:09:29.840 --> 01:09:31.960
let him know your availability

1184
01:09:31.960 --> 01:09:33.680
and what he would like to do that.

1185
01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:36.560
And there we go.

1186
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:38.760
If he says, well, can we talk a little bit more

1187
01:09:38.760 --> 01:09:41.160
and say, well, yeah, you know,

1188
01:09:41.160 --> 01:09:43.800
if you want to, you can say, yeah, no, you know what?

1189
01:09:43.800 --> 01:09:45.760
I think, you know, I'm not interested.

1190
01:09:47.040 --> 01:09:49.520
Let's just, let's just go our separate ways

1191
01:09:49.520 --> 01:09:52.680
because like I said, it matters to me that I see,

1192
01:09:52.680 --> 01:09:55.760
I know how a person looks when I'm talking to them.

1193
01:09:55.760 --> 01:09:56.600
And that's all.

1194
01:09:58.000 --> 01:09:58.840
You're welcome.

1195
01:09:58.840 --> 01:09:59.920
What's the second question?

1196
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.000
Okay, the second question I actually asked you, actually, before everybody came on, so

1197
01:10:08.000 --> 01:10:17.040
there is a gentleman who is in this community, and when he spoke on one of the calls, he

1198
01:10:17.040 --> 01:10:18.040
sounded familiar.

1199
01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:26.480
So, I did my little, you know, we women, you know, we women do, so I looked him up and

1200
01:10:26.480 --> 01:10:34.640
found out that I not only lived in his state, but we have two friends in common.

1201
01:10:34.640 --> 01:10:39.640
And so, I wanted to know what that looked like and how I should proceed, if I should

1202
01:10:39.640 --> 01:10:44.440
proceed, should I wait for, you know, we like to, girls, you know, we like God to reveal

1203
01:10:44.440 --> 01:10:49.680
us to the guys, right, if that's any, so I wanted to kind of know how best to proceed.

1204
01:10:49.680 --> 01:10:55.120
And so, the reason why, yeah, we wanted to share the question with everyone because it's

1205
01:10:55.120 --> 01:11:00.360
a very interesting concept, or idea, or thought, or school of thought, that should I wait

1206
01:11:00.360 --> 01:11:05.120
on the Lord to reveal me to this man, or should I drop the hanky?

1207
01:11:05.120 --> 01:11:08.480
If you guys are not familiar with drop the hanky, it just simply means should I say something

1208
01:11:08.480 --> 01:11:09.480
to the man first?

1209
01:11:09.480 --> 01:11:14.720
And so, because we're in phase two, and this is dating for discovery, whether we're dating

1210
01:11:14.720 --> 01:11:23.400
for discovery or not, whether it was phase two or phase three, the idea that let me wait

1211
01:11:23.400 --> 01:11:30.080
on God to reveal me to a person may not be your best school of thought.

1212
01:11:30.080 --> 01:11:35.360
If you see someone that you're interested in, it's best that you go ahead and say something

1213
01:11:35.360 --> 01:11:36.360
to them.

1214
01:11:36.360 --> 01:11:39.400
Why do I say it's best practices?

1215
01:11:39.400 --> 01:11:46.920
Because I know us women, and we spend our time fantasizing over that man, figuring out

1216
01:11:46.920 --> 01:11:52.080
who he's talking to on his social media, oh, does he have kids, oh, this, oh, he has

1217
01:11:52.080 --> 01:11:56.400
this job, oh, he probably could work out that way, oh, he knows this person, I want to know

1218
01:11:56.400 --> 01:12:01.960
that person, so you're doing all this research, and what you're doing is you're living in

1219
01:12:01.960 --> 01:12:03.720
a made-up world.

1220
01:12:03.720 --> 01:12:06.520
You don't know him, and you don't know if he's interested in you, you don't really know

1221
01:12:06.520 --> 01:12:10.160
anything about him, you're waiting on the Lord to reveal you to this man, but you don't

1222
01:12:10.160 --> 01:12:13.560
know nothing about this man, and you may know where he goes to church, and you may know

1223
01:12:13.560 --> 01:12:21.480
who he knows, but you don't even know the fruit of his life, right, and so you're wasting

1224
01:12:21.480 --> 01:12:26.600
a lot of time living in a fantasy world, putting yourself in a world that you don't need to

1225
01:12:26.600 --> 01:12:27.600
be in.

1226
01:12:27.600 --> 01:12:31.200
It's going to cost you in the back end, you're not going to even know, but it's because you've

1227
01:12:31.200 --> 01:12:36.840
invested so much emotional time and capacity and space to a person that you may not even

1228
01:12:36.840 --> 01:12:37.840
like.

1229
01:12:37.840 --> 01:12:45.760
You may not even, you may find that you don't even really like him, and so the answer is

1230
01:12:45.760 --> 01:12:51.720
she's dropped the hanky, she reaches out to him on messenger, and she says, hey, I noticed

1231
01:12:51.720 --> 01:12:54.720
that both of us are in Jackie's program.

1232
01:12:54.720 --> 01:12:59.680
Send a free request with the message to say, hey, I noticed that both of us are in Jackie's

1233
01:12:59.680 --> 01:13:04.600
program, and we have two friends in our circle alike, let's get to know each other.

1234
01:13:04.600 --> 01:13:05.600
He can say that.

1235
01:13:05.600 --> 01:13:13.440
The only thing he can do is decline her friendship, and that's good too, because if she doesn't,

1236
01:13:13.440 --> 01:13:16.480
y'all know us, what are we going to be thinking about?

1237
01:13:16.480 --> 01:13:21.280
Oh, I wonder if it was work out, and he and Jackie's program, and he did the hard work,

1238
01:13:21.280 --> 01:13:26.880
and we're on the same page, and we get the same teachings, this is a match made in heaven,

1239
01:13:26.880 --> 01:13:27.880
right?

1240
01:13:27.880 --> 01:13:38.280
So, we have to save ourselves that emotional stress and anguish, and see what the business

1241
01:13:38.280 --> 01:13:39.280
is.

1242
01:13:39.280 --> 01:13:41.520
Or he just becomes a good friend.

1243
01:13:41.520 --> 01:13:47.000
Or he just becomes good friends, but we are in the dating season, and we're not looking

1244
01:13:47.000 --> 01:13:51.600
for no friends, we're looking for husbands, all right?

1245
01:13:51.600 --> 01:13:54.600
I love you, Ebony, you're so awesome, yes.

1246
01:13:54.600 --> 01:14:06.360
We don't need to look like we're unavailable, and sometimes when you make a lot of male

1247
01:14:06.360 --> 01:14:10.360
friends, and you're talking to them about everything, you don't look available when

1248
01:14:10.360 --> 01:14:14.960
you go out, because you're storing your emotions in somebody else, you got somebody to talk

1249
01:14:14.960 --> 01:14:15.960
to.

1250
01:14:15.960 --> 01:14:21.000
You got somebody to spend time with, except for that person, y'all ain't going nowhere.

1251
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:22.000
Okay.

1252
01:14:22.000 --> 01:14:23.000
Okay.

1253
01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:24.000
Thank you.

1254
01:14:24.400 --> 01:14:25.400
Thank you.

1255
01:14:25.400 --> 01:14:26.400
You're welcome.

1256
01:14:26.400 --> 01:14:30.400
Or, yes, you can send him to another friend if you decided it didn't work out with y'all.

1257
01:14:30.400 --> 01:14:31.400
Yeah.

1258
01:14:31.400 --> 01:14:32.400
True.

1259
01:14:32.400 --> 01:14:33.400
Will do.

1260
01:14:33.400 --> 01:14:34.400
All right.

1261
01:14:34.400 --> 01:14:35.400
Let's go for it.

1262
01:14:35.400 --> 01:14:36.400
Anybody who's on mute is free to go.

1263
01:14:36.400 --> 01:14:37.400
All right.

1264
01:14:37.400 --> 01:14:38.400
I'll go.

1265
01:14:38.400 --> 01:14:39.400
Go for it.

1266
01:14:39.400 --> 01:14:40.400
Okay.

1267
01:14:40.400 --> 01:14:53.400
So, I'm on the app, and I've been on it for a few weeks now, and oh my goodness, it's

1268
01:14:53.400 --> 01:14:59.800
like I said, it's oodles and oodles of men everywhere, but it's how I did.

1269
01:15:00.880 --> 01:15:10.560
try to determine like where this is gonna go. So anyway, I video chat with one guy and

1270
01:15:13.040 --> 01:15:19.760
he showed me everything around his house and everything like that. And he seemed like he's

1271
01:15:19.760 --> 01:15:23.920
a spiritual man because he, you know, he talks different things about the Lord and stuff like

1272
01:15:23.920 --> 01:15:29.760
that. But I don't really try to go there because you say, you know, don't really do all of that.

1273
01:15:29.760 --> 01:15:37.200
I mean, I don't pray with him and all of that. So I'm like kind of guarded or protected or

1274
01:15:37.760 --> 01:15:49.280
whatever you want to call it. But I'm also like, I don't know, like I have ambitions

1275
01:15:49.280 --> 01:15:59.840
and I'm about 60. I'm not 60, but I'm pretty close to 60 and he's about 60. If you know what

1276
01:15:59.840 --> 01:16:09.600
I'm talking about, I still ice skate, roller skate. I still have fun. This man gets up. Oh,

1277
01:16:09.600 --> 01:16:16.160
what am I make for breakfast? Oh, he might go and take a walk. He do minister, I guess a little bit

1278
01:16:16.240 --> 01:16:22.480
of people. Then he's talking about, he comes back home and he just, I don't know, chill.

1279
01:16:23.280 --> 01:16:28.640
I don't know if he said he retired from blowing leaves. Like I don't see the,

1280
01:16:30.800 --> 01:16:37.360
I just, I can't do it. Like, you know, I'm not saying I'm a gold digger. I really am not.

1281
01:16:37.360 --> 01:16:43.600
Right. You know, I take care of myself, but I can't mess with somebody who don't have that.

1282
01:16:44.560 --> 01:16:50.080
If you kind of understand what I'm saying. However, I am going out on a date with him,

1283
01:16:50.080 --> 01:16:58.560
but I had to initiate it like to play racquetball at the Y, you know, something. I don't know.

1284
01:17:01.840 --> 01:17:04.960
I want a man who wants something out of life, not somebody who just,

1285
01:17:05.680 --> 01:17:13.520
you show me his little apartment. He like, he doesn't even have a, he has a studio, I guess.

1286
01:17:15.520 --> 01:17:20.720
And that's probably all he needs, but he just got divorced like in August. So I'm sure he's,

1287
01:17:20.720 --> 01:17:27.760
you know, dealing with hard work. But the one thing that he did say that threw me off, he said,

1288
01:17:27.760 --> 01:17:36.800
people wonder why I still am interested in getting married. And he said, Judas turned on

1289
01:17:36.800 --> 01:17:42.320
Jesus. He didn't turn on the other 11. And I'm like, what kind of man would use this?

1290
01:17:44.080 --> 01:17:50.080
But you're saying you're a Christian man. Like, I, I don't know. I don't know.

1291
01:17:51.040 --> 01:17:52.640
He's handsome though. That's it.

1292
01:17:54.080 --> 01:18:02.640
Look, well, you've identified that you don't desire him, which is a good thing to identify

1293
01:18:02.640 --> 01:18:08.720
ladies. Like it's good to identify like, Hey, I know we can go no further. So I don't really know

1294
01:18:08.720 --> 01:18:15.440
why. So when I go out on a date with you, I don't let how good you look confuse me. How good you

1295
01:18:15.920 --> 01:18:21.040
smell confused me. Cause I know you in a studio apartment, you just got divorced and you don't

1296
01:18:21.040 --> 01:18:26.400
like to do nothing. You were tired from blowing leaves. You had a boring life. I like a fun ride.

1297
01:18:26.400 --> 01:18:34.640
So that means, you know, you know, right. And you know, I'm going for the date and I'm gonna

1298
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:39.120
have a good time. I'm not going to judge this man for who he is, because that's who he is.

1299
01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:44.240
And he has the right to be that person. Just like I have the right to be who I am.

1300
01:18:44.240 --> 01:18:48.400
And I like to have fun and I like to do this and I like to do that. And it's wonderful.

1301
01:18:49.280 --> 01:18:52.320
And he likes to sit at home and it's wonderful.

1302
01:18:54.000 --> 01:18:59.760
But what we do have in common is we both want a date and he seems like a safe person to go on a

1303
01:18:59.760 --> 01:19:06.080
date. So you're going to go on a date and you're going to bring all of you. He gets to bring all

1304
01:19:06.080 --> 01:19:15.120
of him. And that's fun. And you get to be for that moment, that breath of air, that breath of

1305
01:19:15.120 --> 01:19:20.640
laughter, that joy that you care. Cause I see it all through the camera. You know, it's all there.

1306
01:19:20.640 --> 01:19:28.160
Take them down, drop it out. He won't let me, he can pick it up. Right. Then you don't. Yeah.

1307
01:19:28.160 --> 01:19:33.360
It's okay. Just have fun and go out on a date and you already know he's not the one. And that makes

1308
01:19:33.360 --> 01:19:39.440
it, that makes it even, it gives you the opportunity to take even more risk because

1309
01:19:39.440 --> 01:19:44.640
you're not operating in a scarcity of mindset. You ain't trying to hold on or hope for something.

1310
01:19:44.640 --> 01:19:48.640
You already know who the man is. He told you who he is and you accept him for who he is. And you

1311
01:19:48.640 --> 01:19:55.600
realize that this is not dating for your husband anyway. I know it's hard for us at a certain age

1312
01:19:55.600 --> 01:19:59.840
and time. Like one time my sister told me, well, you know.

1313
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:28.640
I know that was my bad I said about something as we age as women but um I'm so sorry I don't

1314
01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:31.520
yeah you were breaking up a little bit I don't even know how to

1315
01:20:33.360 --> 01:20:44.240
sorry my um here we go I should be back I'm back uh anyway so go have fun um there's no

1316
01:20:44.240 --> 01:20:48.560
shortage of men out there even though it may seem like it when we start aging it really isn't

1317
01:20:48.560 --> 01:20:55.120
have fun he'll enjoy you okay all right thank you you're welcome go for it whoever

1318
01:20:56.000 --> 01:21:05.600
look go just jump in there got Christina Christiana Chris whoever's talking I'm sorry

1319
01:21:06.240 --> 01:21:08.240
that's okay you're right it was Christiana

1320
01:21:11.840 --> 01:21:19.200
I it's my first time sharing something and I um I love hearing everybody's stories and how you're

1321
01:21:19.760 --> 01:21:23.440
responding to it and helping us you know process different things so

1322
01:21:24.400 --> 01:21:30.240
I started talking with this guy about two months ago at this point and you know at

1323
01:21:30.240 --> 01:21:34.320
at the time you know we're talking to other people too and just you know really like the

1324
01:21:34.320 --> 01:21:41.680
conversation um we would talk on the phone and the reason um it's been so long is that

1325
01:21:41.680 --> 01:21:46.240
he was traveling and then I was traveling so we were only both back in the same place

1326
01:21:46.240 --> 01:21:51.280
about two weeks ago so we had our first in-person date but I feel like we know each other pretty

1327
01:21:51.280 --> 01:21:57.360
well because I mean it's a long time but the you know the we do live near much closer to each

1328
01:21:57.360 --> 01:22:04.400
other and just it just kind of happened that way but I feel like on the one hand it's good pacing

1329
01:22:04.400 --> 01:22:08.800
and it forced me to be patient because we could only you know talk on the phone and and stuff

1330
01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:12.560
so like it wasn't like I could you know we could see each other all the time or go you know too

1331
01:22:12.560 --> 01:22:17.680
fast with anything but I feel like since I met him in person it was like my thought was okay either

1332
01:22:17.680 --> 01:22:22.400
he's going to be just as great as he is on the phone and I'm going to be blown away or I'm going

1333
01:22:22.400 --> 01:22:27.440
to realize we were totally different people and it's you know like it's just like okay that was it

1334
01:22:27.440 --> 01:22:36.240
but we had to know um and you know he was even better in person than I thought so like it was

1335
01:22:36.240 --> 01:22:41.920
it's really great like he's just so he's great like he's just a wonderful man I enjoy being

1336
01:22:41.920 --> 01:22:49.680
around him and I feel like I'm aware of the feedback you're giving of you know pacing yourself

1337
01:22:49.680 --> 01:22:54.640
and not sharing too much and all that but it's like I want to spend time with him talk with him

1338
01:22:54.640 --> 01:22:59.920
be around him more and and we're both busy so like you know it's been two weeks since then I'm

1339
01:22:59.920 --> 01:23:03.360
going to see him again this week but like it's the first time we can get together and then I'm going

1340
01:23:03.360 --> 01:23:11.440
to be away for work again and he has stuff like it's it feels like it's it's spaced out and it's

1341
01:23:11.440 --> 01:23:17.280
probably for my benefit but I'm I'm just I guess I want would love to hear your feedback on okay is

1342
01:23:17.280 --> 01:23:22.800
that like normal or am I like just too excited about it need to like kind of pace myself a

1343
01:23:22.800 --> 01:23:30.160
little bit more with how I'm feeling is it oh I can't see your face is this Christina the missionary

1344
01:23:30.160 --> 01:23:36.080
or no no I'm not a missionary I um usually there's not somebody else with my name so that doesn't

1345
01:23:36.080 --> 01:23:41.840
happen very often she's out of christine or christine christina but she travels a lot too

1346
01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:48.320
so uh this is her situation with guys that she date like I'm out of town then I got to see him

1347
01:23:48.320 --> 01:23:55.120
then I was out of town again so just to let you know so you were dating him how long have you

1348
01:23:55.120 --> 01:24:04.960
been in phase two um I think about three weeks but so you were dating him when you were in Harvard

1349
01:24:05.760 --> 01:24:14.400
yeah I did I did do it early and and I thought about it and I really thought about not doing it

1350
01:24:14.400 --> 01:24:19.600
but I had been in such a long dating hiatus on purpose to like work on myself I thought

1351
01:24:20.240 --> 01:24:24.800
I feel like I need to just try something because I'm making excuses about not dating

1352
01:24:24.800 --> 01:24:29.440
and so yeah that's I did I did okay so

1353
01:24:31.920 --> 01:24:34.800
what happens with long distance dating is that

1354
01:24:37.600 --> 01:24:46.000
you end up talking a lot more yeah um and you talk so the basis of your relationship is talking

1355
01:24:46.960 --> 01:24:54.960
and video chatting um um the the person that I'm dating is three hours away and so it you

1356
01:24:54.960 --> 01:24:59.840
you see each other less which is it really helps with pacing but you

1357
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.520
end up talking more and then it's just kind of nature of long-distance dating.

1358
01:25:08.320 --> 01:25:10.160
What was your question to me, Christiana?

1359
01:25:14.160 --> 01:25:14.560
I'm sorry.

1360
01:25:14.560 --> 01:25:17.520
Yeah, go for it. Ask me your question again.

1361
01:25:18.720 --> 01:25:24.080
So trying to, you know, be aware of not oversharing and having like an appropriate

1362
01:25:24.080 --> 01:25:27.760
level of pacing and boundaries, knowing that, you know, we have been talking a lot

1363
01:25:28.480 --> 01:25:31.520
and I feel like I do want to open up and share more things with him.

1364
01:25:31.520 --> 01:25:36.240
But it's like I've only met him in person once and, you know, it was wonderful and he's,

1365
01:25:36.240 --> 01:25:38.880
you know, exactly the same person he seems to be.

1366
01:25:38.880 --> 01:25:40.880
But obviously, I'm still getting to know him.

1367
01:25:40.880 --> 01:25:48.960
It's like what's the appropriate level of like, you know, letting myself continue but not too much.

1368
01:25:49.600 --> 01:25:50.160
Exactly.

1369
01:25:50.160 --> 01:25:52.000
My thought process was in the right place.

1370
01:25:52.000 --> 01:26:00.240
So yes, so that's just kind of, that's kind of the bullet of long-distance talk,

1371
01:26:00.240 --> 01:26:01.680
long-distance dating.

1372
01:26:01.680 --> 01:26:02.720
You talk more.

1373
01:26:02.720 --> 01:26:05.040
Y'all have been getting to know each other for two months.

1374
01:26:05.040 --> 01:26:07.600
And so you're at an appropriate time to go deeper.

1375
01:26:08.880 --> 01:26:09.920
You're two months in.

1376
01:26:13.680 --> 01:26:17.120
Even though you haven't seen him, I don't know how you can make more.

1377
01:26:17.120 --> 01:26:18.480
Y'all are FaceTiming, right?

1378
01:26:18.960 --> 01:26:24.960
Usually, we talk on the phone, not FaceTime, but we can FaceTime.

1379
01:26:24.960 --> 01:26:26.720
But I mean, I'd rather see him in person.

1380
01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:29.920
So I encourage you to do more FaceTiming.

1381
01:26:31.040 --> 01:26:34.000
And the reason why I'm telling you to do this is because you can't see him in person.

1382
01:26:34.560 --> 01:26:37.040
But body language helps with communication.

1383
01:26:39.600 --> 01:26:40.240
Okay.

1384
01:26:40.240 --> 01:26:43.680
So do you talk more than you text or text more than you talk?

1385
01:26:44.560 --> 01:26:49.920
I would say, frequency-wise, we text like a little bit back and forth every day.

1386
01:26:49.920 --> 01:26:51.120
Like, hey, I hope you have a good day.

1387
01:26:51.120 --> 01:26:56.000
Like, just, you know, not super deep things or like making a plan or like just catching

1388
01:26:56.000 --> 01:26:57.040
up on something.

1389
01:26:57.040 --> 01:27:00.320
But if we're actually having a conversation, it will be over the phone.

1390
01:27:00.960 --> 01:27:01.520
Okay.

1391
01:27:01.520 --> 01:27:03.200
And how often do y'all talk to each other?

1392
01:27:05.280 --> 01:27:07.920
I haven't talked to him in a couple of days because he's been sick.

1393
01:27:07.920 --> 01:27:10.080
But, you know, usually, I've talked to him in a couple of days.

1394
01:27:10.080 --> 01:27:12.560
I haven't talked to him in a couple of days because he's been sick.

1395
01:27:12.560 --> 01:27:14.560
But, you know, usually every couple of days.

1396
01:27:15.600 --> 01:27:16.160
Okay.

1397
01:27:16.160 --> 01:27:20.080
So y'all been talking every couple of days for the last two months consistently?

1398
01:27:22.560 --> 01:27:27.200
Yeah, I'd say some gaps in between, but pretty consistently.

1399
01:27:27.200 --> 01:27:27.920
Yeah.

1400
01:27:27.920 --> 01:27:31.840
And usually, like, you know, a good conversation, not like five minutes or 10 minutes.

1401
01:27:34.240 --> 01:27:39.760
You're still talking to him because you guys have, you've, okay.

1402
01:27:40.640 --> 01:27:43.600
Let me back up on this if I see you.

1403
01:27:43.600 --> 01:27:45.680
So, coaching.

1404
01:27:45.680 --> 01:27:48.720
So, he's mature, masculine, and marriage-minded.

1405
01:27:48.720 --> 01:27:50.480
That's something you've discovered about him?

1406
01:27:51.600 --> 01:27:52.480
I believe so.

1407
01:27:52.480 --> 01:27:53.520
I believe he is.

1408
01:27:53.520 --> 01:27:57.840
Everything I've seen of him, how he talks about different things, how he speaks to me,

1409
01:27:58.400 --> 01:28:00.640
how he treats me, very much so.

1410
01:28:01.520 --> 01:28:04.560
Is he showing genuine interest in pursuing you in that way?

1411
01:28:05.760 --> 01:28:06.320
I think so.

1412
01:28:06.400 --> 01:28:09.920
I mean, like, he come, like, for first date, like, he came to see me.

1413
01:28:09.920 --> 01:28:10.960
We didn't meet halfway.

1414
01:28:10.960 --> 01:28:13.440
Like, you know, he came, same with this week.

1415
01:28:13.440 --> 01:28:14.560
He's like, I'll come to you.

1416
01:28:14.560 --> 01:28:17.200
Like, you know, just going out of his way to be thoughtful.

1417
01:28:18.800 --> 01:28:22.800
So, it very much seems like it.

1418
01:28:22.800 --> 01:28:24.320
And coming to you means what?

1419
01:28:25.200 --> 01:28:26.160
Like an hour and a half.

1420
01:28:26.960 --> 01:28:27.360
Okay.

1421
01:28:27.360 --> 01:28:28.400
Like an hour and a half.

1422
01:28:28.400 --> 01:28:28.640
Okay.

1423
01:28:29.440 --> 01:28:31.120
And, yeah.

1424
01:28:32.240 --> 01:28:35.520
So, what are the different things that you want to talk about?

1425
01:28:37.120 --> 01:28:38.240
That you haven't covered?

1426
01:28:38.240 --> 01:28:41.440
Like, what deepness are you referring to?

1427
01:28:43.200 --> 01:28:48.720
I think just sharing more things about, you know, things that are important to me,

1428
01:28:49.280 --> 01:28:50.560
you know, in relationships.

1429
01:28:50.560 --> 01:28:51.920
Just going a little bit deeper in it.

1430
01:28:51.920 --> 01:28:56.240
I think, so, I work in our family business.

1431
01:28:56.240 --> 01:28:58.080
And it's like a really important part of my life.

1432
01:28:58.080 --> 01:29:02.160
But I'm also super careful, you know, not to share that with most people.

1433
01:29:02.160 --> 01:29:03.520
Like, and not in dating.

1434
01:29:03.760 --> 01:29:06.800
That's just something I like, well, like, kind of gloss over in this.

1435
01:29:06.800 --> 01:29:07.840
I don't talk about that.

1436
01:29:08.400 --> 01:29:11.040
But I feel like, oh, I want to tell them about these things that, like,

1437
01:29:11.040 --> 01:29:12.640
I'm super passionate about it.

1438
01:29:12.640 --> 01:29:14.000
So, like, it's something I want to share.

1439
01:29:14.000 --> 01:29:19.680
And there's, you know, there's so much of my life is around, you know, awesome,

1440
01:29:19.680 --> 01:29:23.040
like, challenges we're solving or things that I'm, you know, learning or figuring out,

1441
01:29:23.040 --> 01:29:25.760
you know, different, you know, ideas I learned about something.

1442
01:29:25.760 --> 01:29:29.760
Or like, I do a seminar on, you know, on new marketing lead generation.

1443
01:29:29.760 --> 01:29:30.880
I'm like, oh, this is so cool.

1444
01:29:30.880 --> 01:29:33.360
I'm like, there's all these different things that, like,

1445
01:29:33.360 --> 01:29:36.320
I wouldn't bring someone into that world if I didn't trust them, right?

1446
01:29:36.320 --> 01:29:38.320
Because it's not just my world.

1447
01:29:38.320 --> 01:29:39.440
It's my family's world.

1448
01:29:40.160 --> 01:29:40.640
Okay.

1449
01:29:40.640 --> 01:29:43.520
Well, how about we save that for after you define the relationship?

1450
01:29:45.440 --> 01:29:45.940
Okay.

1451
01:29:46.960 --> 01:29:50.640
I think that that's something, if you're bringing somebody into your family's world also,

1452
01:29:50.640 --> 01:29:52.560
maybe that is for exclusivity.

1453
01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:54.080
Because you don't have to talk about that.

1454
01:29:54.080 --> 01:29:55.200
You might want to share that.

1455
01:29:55.200 --> 01:29:56.960
But you can share that with a friend.

1456
01:29:59.120 --> 01:29:59.840
Yes, that's true.

1457
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.000
Doesn't make sense because you wouldn't be uncovering you,

1458
01:30:04.000 --> 01:30:07.640
you're also sharing your family business.

1459
01:30:07.640 --> 01:30:09.400
Yeah.

1460
01:30:09.400 --> 01:30:13.280
But if there's something that you want to talk about is just solely about you,

1461
01:30:13.280 --> 01:30:16.840
you guys have been talking for a while and so you feel safe to do that.

1462
01:30:16.840 --> 01:30:18.400
I think that that's a good thing.

1463
01:30:18.400 --> 01:30:21.840
You could go further than that because you're at two months,

1464
01:30:21.840 --> 01:30:26.120
a little bit better than two months and so it's long distance.

1465
01:30:26.120 --> 01:30:27.680
So yeah, I'll talk a lot more.

1466
01:30:27.680 --> 01:30:30.760
I will say you'll start going to more deeper things.

1467
01:30:30.760 --> 01:30:34.600
But if it includes you and your family in the business,

1468
01:30:34.600 --> 01:30:38.760
you can save that until exclusivity.

1469
01:30:38.760 --> 01:30:42.680
Okay. I guess that brings me to then another question.

1470
01:30:42.680 --> 01:30:48.120
I know that we have the phases and they're defined and everything.

1471
01:30:48.120 --> 01:30:50.600
So I guess this is like, I don't know,

1472
01:30:50.600 --> 01:30:54.400
a 2A to 2B-ish area.

1473
01:30:55.400 --> 01:31:00.360
I know that I believe I'm not supposed to do anything to initiate

1474
01:31:00.360 --> 01:31:04.360
any type of conversation in that way from what I remember.

1475
01:31:04.360 --> 01:31:08.760
But what is a reasonable time frame for me to think,

1476
01:31:08.760 --> 01:31:11.800
okay, there's plenty of time for that versus it

1477
01:31:11.800 --> 01:31:16.080
seems like I should be aware that there's something that he's not bringing up yet.

1478
01:31:16.080 --> 01:31:17.560
Three months.

1479
01:31:17.560 --> 01:31:18.960
Okay.

1480
01:31:18.960 --> 01:31:23.160
At three months, he should be defining the relationship.

1481
01:31:23.320 --> 01:31:26.880
Okay. Thank you.

1482
01:31:26.880 --> 01:31:29.520
You're welcome.

1483
01:31:32.000 --> 01:31:43.200
All right. Looks like Christiana was the last hand up, lady.

1484
01:31:43.200 --> 01:31:46.720
I thank you for your patience on tonight.

1485
01:31:46.720 --> 01:31:49.920
I enjoyed you as always.

1486
01:31:50.040 --> 01:31:52.480
We'll pick back up with them.

1487
01:31:52.480 --> 01:31:54.320
Ebony, I don't know if we're out of time,

1488
01:31:54.320 --> 01:31:57.240
but I do see one more person with their hand up though.

1489
01:31:57.240 --> 01:31:59.680
Okay. Whoever you are, go for it.

1490
01:31:59.680 --> 01:32:01.240
Oh, it's Janice.

1491
01:32:01.240 --> 01:32:02.520
Go Janice.

1492
01:32:02.520 --> 01:32:03.960
Okay. I have a question.

1493
01:32:03.960 --> 01:32:10.200
If you're dating in community and you like someone,

1494
01:32:10.200 --> 01:32:14.120
but they just want to be friends with you,

1495
01:32:14.120 --> 01:32:16.680
and then their friend likes you,

1496
01:32:16.680 --> 01:32:20.240
but you still have feelings for the other one,

1497
01:32:20.240 --> 01:32:29.120
how do you maintain integrity within a group of people and still respect the others?

1498
01:32:29.120 --> 01:32:32.880
Yeah. No, I hear you.

1499
01:32:32.880 --> 01:32:35.200
Totally makes sense.

1500
01:32:35.200 --> 01:32:39.920
The person that you like doesn't like you,

1501
01:32:39.920 --> 01:32:43.280
so you never really have feelings for them, you just like them.

1502
01:32:43.280 --> 01:32:46.840
Right. But I still have feelings for them.

1503
01:32:46.840 --> 01:32:48.640
You just have feelings of likeness.

1504
01:32:48.640 --> 01:32:49.720
What's that?

1505
01:32:49.720 --> 01:32:52.680
Of likeness, because you don't know anything.

1506
01:32:52.680 --> 01:32:56.560
They never invest in anything emotionally in you, right?

1507
01:32:56.560 --> 01:33:01.440
Well, we've been friends for like a year,

1508
01:33:01.440 --> 01:33:04.400
and we're around each other a lot,

1509
01:33:04.400 --> 01:33:08.920
so I still have some feelings for him,

1510
01:33:09.240 --> 01:33:14.200
and then his friend is paying attention to me a lot,

1511
01:33:14.200 --> 01:33:17.520
and I'm like, I don't know what to do with this.

1512
01:33:17.520 --> 01:33:20.320
It's kind of uncomfortable,

1513
01:33:20.320 --> 01:33:22.760
so I don't know what's the right protocol.

1514
01:33:22.760 --> 01:33:25.400
I don't want to disrespect anyone,

1515
01:33:25.400 --> 01:33:27.400
and I also want to maintain my integrity.

1516
01:33:27.400 --> 01:33:33.320
I don't want to be known as someone who dates around all his friends,

1517
01:33:33.320 --> 01:33:36.840
but what does someone do like that?

1518
01:33:36.840 --> 01:33:39.160
When you're in this church community,

1519
01:33:39.160 --> 01:33:42.080
and there's a lot of single people,

1520
01:33:42.080 --> 01:33:47.920
and you like someone, they don't really like you that way,

1521
01:33:47.920 --> 01:33:49.320
and then someone else likes you,

1522
01:33:49.320 --> 01:33:51.240
but you don't really like them that way,

1523
01:33:51.240 --> 01:33:55.360
and then you find one of their friends attractive.

1524
01:33:55.360 --> 01:33:58.280
You don't like his friend that likes you?

1525
01:33:58.280 --> 01:33:59.680
I don't know.

1526
01:33:59.680 --> 01:34:05.800
I don't know, but I don't feel attracted to him.

1527
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:10.400
I don't know him really well, so yeah.

1528
01:34:10.400 --> 01:34:16.160
Okay, gotcha. These are my thoughts about this.

1529
01:34:16.160 --> 01:34:16.960
Okay.

1530
01:34:16.960 --> 01:34:22.160
If you like one guy who does not like you,

1531
01:34:22.160 --> 01:34:24.240
you were his friend for a year,

1532
01:34:24.240 --> 01:34:26.760
but he's never shown interest in you.

1533
01:34:26.760 --> 01:34:30.480
You all did not develop anything because he does not like you,

1534
01:34:30.480 --> 01:34:32.240
so maybe for that year,

1535
01:34:32.280 --> 01:34:36.000
you fantasized about him or what y'all could have together.

1536
01:34:36.000 --> 01:34:41.760
So I'm just putting track with me.

1537
01:34:41.760 --> 01:34:43.320
If I got something wrong, tell me.

1538
01:34:43.320 --> 01:34:47.360
So what you're saying is what's happening is what you feel in your heart is

1539
01:34:47.360 --> 01:34:51.800
the residue or the remnants of how you felt about this young man that's your friend,

1540
01:34:51.800 --> 01:34:55.560
but y'all never actually engaged in that way,

1541
01:34:55.560 --> 01:35:00.160
but your heart is still grieving not having a few.

1542
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.920
with him right right and then his friend comes along and he's showing interest in

1543
01:35:07.920 --> 01:35:13.120
you but you feel like it will be some type of betrayal not actually to the man

1544
01:35:13.120 --> 01:35:17.160
but actually to yourself because his friend never never initiated anything

1545
01:35:17.160 --> 01:35:22.360
with you but you feel torn within yourself so you wouldn't be betraying

1546
01:35:22.360 --> 01:35:28.080
the man he couldn't feel betrayed by you because he never initiated anything with

1547
01:35:28.080 --> 01:35:34.760
you you initiated something with him within yourself okay and so now you're

1548
01:35:34.760 --> 01:35:41.360
dealing with the self thing okay so I don't want somebody to think this about

1549
01:35:41.360 --> 01:35:44.680
me I don't want somebody to think this about me there's no way to think that

1550
01:35:44.680 --> 01:35:51.120
about you because only you had the feeling okay not the guy okay are you

1551
01:35:51.120 --> 01:35:57.080
tracking with me yes yes okay so that's one thing it's like put a period right

1552
01:35:57.080 --> 01:36:01.800
there that's the end of this sentence okay two separate situations his friend

1553
01:36:01.800 --> 01:36:11.400
likes you you think it's possible that he does if you like him you want to get

1554
01:36:11.400 --> 01:36:19.080
to know him you have the right to do that okay okay if you don't like him and

1555
01:36:19.080 --> 01:36:24.440
you don't want to get to know him you have the right to do that also okay you

1556
01:36:24.440 --> 01:36:29.320
are a single woman you will be single till you're married and you are blessed

1557
01:36:29.320 --> 01:36:33.680
to be at a church with a lot of other single people it's only gonna take one

1558
01:36:33.680 --> 01:36:38.640
because that's all it is all of them can't be the one and what happens is in

1559
01:36:38.640 --> 01:36:46.120
life we get to know people to see if we are a good fit okay when we find out

1560
01:36:46.120 --> 01:36:53.480
that we're not the best fit we go we move along mm-hmm okay but if you're

1561
01:36:53.480 --> 01:36:57.600
not interested in you don't feel pressured to reciprocate anything back

1562
01:36:57.600 --> 01:37:07.040
to him okay that's not your responsibility to do that okay okay okay

1563
01:37:07.040 --> 01:37:16.280
all right yeah yeah I just don't want to be seen as someone who oh it's

1564
01:37:16.280 --> 01:37:29.960
interesting in this one and that one and this all in one group and these are

1565
01:37:29.960 --> 01:37:35.640
single men and that's what people do they date with the community it's the

1566
01:37:35.640 --> 01:37:42.600
safest place today and you're at a church and if you will start in

1567
01:37:42.600 --> 01:37:45.240
relationships with all these people you know you're not even been in

1568
01:37:45.240 --> 01:37:50.280
relationship with any of them the first guy did say he didn't want anything so

1569
01:37:50.280 --> 01:37:54.600
technically this the idea that it seems like you hop around unless you tell

1570
01:37:54.600 --> 01:37:59.200
everybody at the church who you like and they know that you had a thing for this

1571
01:37:59.200 --> 01:38:03.320
guy I mean that's the only way I can see you having some thought along those

1572
01:38:03.320 --> 01:38:12.640
lines but I just I want to encourage you that that's not who you are mm-hmm when

1573
01:38:12.640 --> 01:38:19.080
it's valid in you that that's not who you are it really doesn't matter

1574
01:38:22.320 --> 01:38:30.200
and it's not who you are mm-hmm right you're not some loose woman you're a

1575
01:38:30.200 --> 01:38:38.480
woman of dignity honor and respect yes so if you want to get to know the other

1576
01:38:38.480 --> 01:38:41.960
guy get to know him if he's showing interest in you if he's not showing

1577
01:38:42.000 --> 01:38:49.240
interest in you leave it alone okay and if he wants to get to know you he'll

1578
01:38:49.240 --> 01:38:58.840
get to know you mm-hmm okay okay all right okay go to one of

1579
01:38:58.840 --> 01:39:14.840
the single men in the church okay thank you so much thank you for let Janice I

1580
01:39:14.840 --> 01:39:19.920
did not see your hand because of this phone screen ladies I enjoyed you you

1581
01:39:19.920 --> 01:39:24.680
guys are simply amazing thank you guys for praying oh I'm so glad I'm so good

1582
01:39:24.680 --> 01:39:30.080
thank you for praying me on through and sticking with joy each of you tonight

1583
01:39:30.080 --> 01:39:34.400
and listen oh let's not forget all our newcomers they don't know about our

1584
01:39:34.400 --> 01:39:38.480
activation and it'll be Nikki and who are other newcomer I can't see everybody

1585
01:39:38.480 --> 01:39:43.280
on the screen but listen go jump in your bed when you go to bed tonight and I

1586
01:39:43.280 --> 01:39:47.800
want you to roll until you get to the other side but don't fall out and on your

1587
01:39:47.800 --> 01:39:52.320
way back I want you to remember in not many days from now you're gonna roll

1588
01:39:52.320 --> 01:39:58.880
over and bump into your husband because he is sure to come God writes the best

1589
01:39:58.880 --> 01:40:01.640
little stories

1590
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.000
So I want you to take this time tonight and do a prophetic activation, roll over and remind

1591
01:40:07.000 --> 01:40:15.000
yourself on your bed that my husband is on the way, there's a space in his bed that is

1592
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:19.000
waiting and your bed that is waiting for him.

1593
01:40:19.000 --> 01:40:21.000
You got it, Nikki?

1594
01:40:24.000 --> 01:40:25.000
Thank you.

1595
01:40:25.000 --> 01:40:27.000
This was a really great night.

1596
01:40:27.000 --> 01:40:33.000
I appreciated everything that all the ladies shared and all your wisdom that you gave tonight.

1597
01:40:33.000 --> 01:40:35.000
You're welcome.

1598
01:40:35.000 --> 01:40:37.000
That's so awesome.

1599
01:40:37.000 --> 01:40:41.000
Ladies, don't forget, it's so good to see all of y'all.

1600
01:40:41.000 --> 01:40:43.000
Kimberly, Beverly, everybody I get to see all the time.

1601
01:40:43.000 --> 01:40:47.000
And Beverly, I see that you said that you got a little dating app.

1602
01:40:47.000 --> 01:40:50.000
Yes, yes.

1603
01:40:50.000 --> 01:40:53.000
All right, ladies, have a good night.

1604
01:40:54.000 --> 01:41:00.000
Thank you for driving to wherever you could get reception.

1605
01:41:00.000 --> 01:41:02.000
Yeah, how far are you from home?

1606
01:41:02.000 --> 01:41:04.000
How far are you, Ebony?

1607
01:41:04.000 --> 01:41:13.000
I came out of the neighborhood because I don't think my internet service is that good.

1608
01:41:13.000 --> 01:41:15.000
But I'm not far.

1609
01:41:15.000 --> 01:41:21.000
No, I was just like, I was hoping y'all would hold on because I enjoy this time so much

1610
01:41:21.000 --> 01:41:24.000
It's such an important time in your journey.

1611
01:41:24.000 --> 01:41:26.000
Thank you, ladies.

1612
01:41:26.000 --> 01:41:29.000
We pray you get home safely, in Jesus' name.

1613
01:41:29.000 --> 01:41:32.000
Yeah, I receive it all.

1614
01:41:32.000 --> 01:41:36.000
Diana, we just bless you as you go into surgery.

1615
01:41:36.000 --> 01:41:41.000
We thank God that he's going to steal the hands of your surgeon and that all is well for you.

1616
01:41:41.000 --> 01:41:43.000
We pray for a strong, good recovery.

1617
01:41:43.000 --> 01:41:45.000
Don't you rush the process.

1618
01:41:45.000 --> 01:41:49.000
But you let the Lord take his good time in healing every part of your body.

1619
01:41:49.000 --> 01:41:53.000
We declare nobility and adventure back to every part of your body.

1620
01:41:53.000 --> 01:41:55.000
And you're going to have yourself so much fun.

1621
01:41:55.000 --> 01:42:02.000
And we thank God for having a really spicy, hot, non-lethal date waiting for you when it's all said and done.

1622
01:42:02.000 --> 01:42:04.000
In Jesus' name, amen.

1623
01:42:04.000 --> 01:42:07.000
Amen.

1624
01:42:07.000 --> 01:42:10.000
Thank you, Ebony.

1625
01:42:10.000 --> 01:42:12.000
You're welcome.

1626
01:42:12.000 --> 01:42:14.000
God bless y'all.

1627
01:42:14.000 --> 01:42:16.000
God bless you, ladies.

1628
01:42:16.000 --> 01:42:17.000
Thank you so much, everyone.

1629
01:42:17.000 --> 01:42:18.000
Good night.

1630
01:42:18.000 --> 01:42:19.000
Good night.