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All right, ladies, welcome.

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It's so glad to see all of your beautiful faces, especially those that are on camera

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and live here with me.

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This is your Love Story Accelerator, eight o'clock, live heart check-in.

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As you can see, if you're not new here, you're used to seeing Ebony, and she's not with us

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today.

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I'm going to ask that you lift her up and keep you in her prayers.

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She had a hip replacement surgery yesterday, which was an answered prayer.

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God the Father has loved on her.

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She's been in some pain for over a year, and God just really opened doors for her to get

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this procedure yesterday.

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We insisted that she spend some time healing and resting today and just getting better.

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I was happy to say, I will come in and I will cover for you.

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It's an excuse to have my husband kick the kids out and for me to be able to come on

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and see you all.

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I know that one o'clock call isn't most convenient for everybody, and so you typically are probably

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getting me through replay.

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Even if you come to the eight o'clock, I definitely encourage you to watch the replay.

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For those of you that ever come to the one o'clock, watch the eight o'clock replay.

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I think we've got it now so that we're posting both in replay.

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I will double check with the team to make sure that that's going to be consistent because

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this is the hour and 15 minutes where we try to leave a majority of it for you all to answer

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or to ask your questions and for myself and Ebony to give you our wisdom and our coaching

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advice, even give you encouragement and hope through our own testimony in this program.

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For those of you that don't know me, I am Karla Johnson.

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I am a success story with last year's single.

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I came in to Jackie's program at the very beginning of her movement, which was in 2020.

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She did the big launch right before October, and so I came in at that point.

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End of September will be full five years.

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It took about two years until my husband decided to find me with the help of this community

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and more ways than one.

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If you've heard the replays before, you've probably gotten little tidbits of my story.

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Then I've been coaching now for a year and a half, maybe a little longer now with last

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year's single.

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It's just always an honor and a pleasure to be here with you all and just, again, impart

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my wisdom, walk you through the whole process.

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A lot of the questions that you have are questions that I had myself.

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I got you.

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Just like any coach, I'm going to probably stretch you a little bit and I'll probably

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make you uncomfortable.

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If you've ever been in a bootcamp situation, if you've ever been to one of those fitness

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trainers, they're going to make you do some things that are uncomfortable at times.

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I do my best to do it as gently as possible.

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Always know that myself and Ebony, we speak it in love and encouragement, and we're just

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here to help and support you.

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There's nothing that I would encourage you to do that I probably didn't do myself or

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watch other women in this program do and have success with it.

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Just keep that in mind when I stretch you a little bit, or maybe I push the buttons

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at times because I'm going to do it.

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Jackie did it for me several occasions, and I was like, I don't want to do that, Jackie.

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She's like, tough.

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No, if you want to be stubborn about it, that's fine, but I'm going to keep giving you these

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reminders, and she did, and she loved me through it all, and so it's just been an incredible

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journey.

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Who do I have on here tonight that is brand new to this phase, to this call?

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Do I have anybody?

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I know I see a couple familiar faces.

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There's some faces I don't necessarily know, but I'm sure it's probably because you're

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used to coming to 8 o'clock and I'm not on.

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Do I have anybody in that category?

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Anybody?

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Just raise your avatar hand, or if you're on camera, you can just flash me little hands,

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so I can see you.

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No?

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Everybody?

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Everybody knows the drill.

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Well, that makes it easy.

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I love it.

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Okay?

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So I really don't probably have to go through too many housekeeping items like we always

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remind you.

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Stay connected in the app.

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Post your journey, your dating situations, anything that you want.

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are gleaning from the content the replays make sure you're watching those and and whatnot okay

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sound good beverly says 12 weeks so you've been in this have you been beverly have you been in

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last year single for 12 full weeks so that includes the heartwork or just this one currently

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this love story accelerator for 12 weeks awesome well we're so glad to have you here i hope that

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you are just taking it all in did you want to share something no i was just answering you yeah

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just uh just this one has been 12 weeks good so how how are you liking what like what's your

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takeaway um i was actually going to to talk but i was hoping i was going to talk no no offense but

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i was hoping i was going to talk to ebony uh just because i'm used to her and that's who i you know

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been listening to um yeah i get it so she probably has a little bit more of an understanding of your

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background well i'm definitely here to take that on and that's another thing ladies i and beverly

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thank you for for sharing that but i also want to encourage you ladies that just because you

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come to one doesn't mean that me and myself like myself and ebony that we don't converse and like

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walk each other through like situations and things like that um and and also let it be

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a reason for you ladies to make sure that you're coming in the app and you're sharing with us that

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because there are believe it or not there are some ladies that don't come to the lives and that might

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not watch the replays or watch the replay of you on there and your question or your situation can

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actually help them grow as well so a lot of times what what we might be experiencing that maybe

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somebody is a little shy about sharing you'll be surprised like it actually will allow breakthrough

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for other people i know it happened for me when i was in the program when women would share and

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i'm like oh my goodness like i'm going through the same thing and getting that wisdom is super

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helpful and then there were times when i got vulnerable and i shared myself it always impacted

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someone else in the community and they were able to reach out and be like carla thank you so much

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for sharing your heart and and walking us through it really really helped me and then they were able

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to feed me encouragement lift me up lift me up in prayer as well so i want to encourage you ladies

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to show up not just these live calls but show up in the app as well okay all right so that's

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the housekeeping for the day i see two people have their hands up and then beverly if you want to kind

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of just you'll you can keep your hand up and i will do my best and then whatever i can't help

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you answer i can i can reach out to ebony be like hey ebony i need you to help my girl out

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and then be able to to i did want to just share my situation and you know get a little coaching

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because i'm 78 and so you know i'm in a group with a lot of young women i know last week there

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was somebody that was 73 so i was so happy to see her yes you know i've been listening to

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you know everything people have had to say um which i thought was really quite fascinating

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um but you know i'm coming i feel like i'm coming from a different perspective or at least you know

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a very different um season season of life and i'm trying to make some sense of things you know i i

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have uh been married divorced but i have been living alone for 20 years now i think uh and up

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until a year ago was not even interested in dating before i got in the program i had listened to

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last year's single three times and uh married in in 12 months or less three times i had done

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artwork myself before i got in the program so once i got in it then i had to you know redo

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everything all over again um so it's really been a process for for about a year already

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last may actually um and i am dating two people but this is my question um can i have you hold

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that thought and i will come to you like when i take questions i'm gonna come to you first okay

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so just put your avatar hand up and then i will come to you i want to just cover a couple more

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couple things and then i'll take the questions but i do love that you brought this up beverly

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because you know you're not alone when it comes to um other ladies in this program that might be

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experiencing something a little bit different when you're in a group with younger women and so

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um i want to encourage you that there was i think i can't remember who it was but um maybe it

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with Allison. Allison, I see you on you're on my one o'clock. I

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think you even shared in the app, how you know, this is just

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a different season. And so dating is a little bit

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different for those ladies that are, you know, in their 50s, 60s,

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70s and beyond. And so I, I want you ladies to know that if y'all

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have been on my heart, and Allison, I really want to thank

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you for bringing that up, because I am, I am going to

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reach out to the team. And I want to reach out to Jackie

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specifically, I mean, like, you know what, I think we can

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probably do something for our ladies that are in that season

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of life. And to give you encouragement, because what I

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will tell you, ladies, is we have so many success love

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stories of ladies that are in those years. Okay, and I don't

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know, I think it might have been even on Supernatural Saturday,

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or there is actually it wasn't on a Supernatural Saturday. But

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when y'all graduate over into the next phase, there are

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replays there. And even Jackie just recently did a love seat

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call at the beginning of May. And she touched on this. And I'm

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going to I don't want to butcher all of the statistics and the

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the input that she was sharing. But she was talking about

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something about when is the most successful or more of most

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accomplished part of your years and decades and it was it was

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something like your 60s then your 50s 40s and 70s in that

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order. And so I mean, again, I don't quote me on it. But when

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you graduate to the next phase, go check the replays out for the

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beginning of May and listen to that because I do think it's

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going to just give you some encouragement and know that we

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have so many women in our program that are success stories

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and have found love in this season of life. And so it's not

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uncommon. And so I hope that gives you encouragement. But I

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just want you all know that, like, Allison, thank you,

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because it put it on my heart. And then like, we have got to

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reach out to our team. And we've got to speak to this more

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specifically, for you ladies that are you know, you're

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looking for help and wisdom. And so we want to be able to

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support you in any way that we can. Okay, so I did go over some

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housekeeping. Karen was sharing with us that, you know, about

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the activation that you know, she didn't get to post in a

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picture, but she did get some dresses. And so I hope you ladies

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are taking that into consideration. I had a couple I

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think there was one no one of for sure, that posted maybe a

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couple actually know there was two because I made comments on

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earlier. And so just continue to keep doing that, you know, step

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into your feminine, know that you're beautiful. And you know,

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I will tell you is that this this activation has been

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something that we've been doing since the very beginning, Jackie

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had us do the same thing. And it really, truly does just like

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shift things. I never like, trust me when I was like, I

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don't dress like, I'm a busy single mom. I don't like have

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time. And y'all when I when I finally like stepped into it, I

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was like, Oh, okay, I look cute. And when I started feeling it, I

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started noticing like, I was getting attention and like good

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attention, healthy attention. I'm not even talking about like,

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guys were like, Oh, I want to date you. It was just people

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wanted, like I was giving off an energy that people were invited

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and like, invited. Does that make sense? I know I'm just

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sitting here babbling a lot. But right, so just keep that in

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mind. I gave the activation for the ladies earlier on the call.

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This was just something that really spoke to my heart over

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the last couple days. So ladies, I want you to consider this and

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I need to make a note of myself because I promised my one

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o'clock ladies, I was going to post what I'm about to talk to

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you about. Ladies, I want you to be focusing on worship. I want

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you to pick a song or two that just really speaks to your

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heart. And I really want you to make some effort this week to

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listen to that worship song and spend time worshiping every day

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this week. Maybe even a couple times a day. Because I really

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truly believe that something really, really shifts in our

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thinking and our hearts in this, you know, in, in, in that

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spiritual realm, like, when we are in praise and worship, you

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know, the negativity, the negativity, the discouragement,

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the lies of the enemy have no, like, residence when we are in

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praise and worship. And so I want you to be thinking about

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that this week and praying and meditating on a song that God is

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just speaking to your heart. And what I

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Sharing with the ladies at the one o'clock call earlier today, it really brought up in my spirit

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some of the worship songs that I had playing my wedding ceremony. One of them we actually

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sung in church this weekend. It caught me by surprise because I got married a year and a half

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ago. I was like, that's an older song. We're listening to it in church. But then there was

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another one that came into my spirit. When I was in this group and I was really battling the

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discouragement and there were times that it was easy for me to get hopeless, there was a song

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that really spoke to my heart that I religiously clung to in those last several months of my

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singleness. I had no idea that I was going to find my spirit mate. I was actually losing hope.

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I had been in this program for almost two years. I was watching it happen for everybody else.

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I was constantly showing up. I was constantly taking Jackie's advice. I was getting myself

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uncomfortable. I'm like, God, is it ever going to happen for me? I was really losing hope,

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but there was this worship song that I listened to. I listen to Christian radio.

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It's constantly playing in my car. I'm not one of those Spotify girls that has that going on.

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I just literally listen to the radio. I know that's so uncommon nowadays, but I do. This song

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actually came up and I remember just clinging to it. When I was getting married and I was

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planning out the ceremony and having to pick songs, I knew that this song was something that

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I needed to play. I'm going to share that with you all in the app, so make sure that you're

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going in there and checking it out. I'll do my best to pin them so y'all can listen to them too,

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but just keep that in mind. You might be listening to a song that really speaks to your heart

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and who knows? Maybe it's something that you walk down the aisle to.

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Think about that for a second. I just got goosebumps on that one. Anybody else get goosebumps?

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Did anybody get those feels? Yeah. Just think about that. Really pray about that this week

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and activate, share it with us in the app. Let us know your songs. Who knows? Maybe a song that

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you share, one of your sisters might be walking down the aisle too. Everybody cool on their

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activation? We're good? We good? I got 23 ladies on 24 with me. Good to know. Awesome. Remember,

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come on camera if you can. I want to see y'all's beautiful faces. I'm going to just take a few

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minutes before we jump into questions that I was seeing some things pop up in our community on our

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app. I really wanted to spend some time speaking to it and letting us just sit on it. Some of you

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ladies that have been on, that were on at one o'clock, you know what I'm going to share. You've

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already got some of that wisdom, but maybe you're going to hear something new or maybe I will speak

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something a little bit more profound this time around. I want you ladies to be like,

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wouldn't you take a moment and want you to ask yourself, and maybe you actually struggle with

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this. What we often sometimes see in this community, especially as we're stepping into dating

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after coming out of heartwork, there is this, I'll say even a fear that we're going to date

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differently. It's going to look a little different. We're worried that we're going to

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leave people on. Does anybody else have? Karen, she's like right here. Beverly, she feels it too.

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Is it Sarah? I'm so sorry. I'm horrible at names.

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Shari. Shari? Yes. Shari, that's a beautiful name. I love it. You get it. Ladies, I remember that

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too. We coach you here at Last Year Single to date a little differently than maybe you used

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to. I know for myself, the way I used to date is I dated one person at a time.

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When I got to know someone, I focused on that one person. Because of that, I found myself

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not always in the greatest situation because what I did was I put all my eggs in that

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basket. And I would fantasize about a person and I would just

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try to make it work that all of the flags that I was seeing,

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like those red flags, I ignored those because I was I was focused

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on this one person. And I so badly just wanted a relationship

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that I was not paying attention to all the red flags. Okay. And

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so when I got in this program, and Jackie's like, No, you're

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just dating to get to know people. You don't need to get

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all of the sparks in the fields. And that like, you know, goo goo

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gaga stuff, right? Like, that actually could potentially be a

246
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sign of some unhealthy stuff. And so I was like, Whoa, what

247
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do you like I got to date multiple people like that seems

248
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a little odd. Aren't they gonna think that I'm like, cheating in

249
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some way. And so but really, the reality is, we don't have

250
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any like, we don't have any promises to a person that we're

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just getting to know. Besides, I'm here to get to know you to

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see if we enjoy each other's company, we have some things in

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common. And you know what, after two, three, maybe even four

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dates, we'll see if we want to continue this. And if not, no

255
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hard feelings. We can release you, we can release those guys,

256
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or they can release us. And know that we're just one step closer

257
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to our spirit mate. All right. And I know that's so easier said

258
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than done. I tell you, because I did this. Okay. Like, sometimes

259
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I was like, Okay, this is good. And then other times I'm like,

260
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No, God just doesn't have anybody out there for me. Like,

261
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I'm heartbroken. I can't believe that this guy rejected me. And I

262
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had to start learning and practicing that it was God's

263
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divine protection. And rejection was protection. And it and he

264
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was he was looking out for me. And and if anything, it also

265
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allowed me to kind of just say, Okay, it's okay. If I don't feel

266
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like this person's my spirit mate. And it's okay, if they

267
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don't think I'm their spirit mate, it just means that we're

268
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one step closer to actually being with the person that God's

269
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created. Because the last thing you want to have happen is for

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you to be it, you know, stuck with somebody that you're really

271
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just after two, three, four dates that you're just like,

272
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Oh, no, you know, and and then but you're hanging on. You're

273
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like, Oh, I don't know. You know, maybe there's just nobody

274
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else out there. So I'll just make this one do y'all I did

275
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that. It never ended. Well. Alright, so I just want you to

276
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spend some time thinking about that. So if that is you and you

277
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have this concern about leading people on let's really like

278
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spend some time and talk about what does that look like? What

279
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is leading? Like what is the true definition of leading

280
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somebody on? So once you stop and think about that, and I

281
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want you to put that in the chat. If you had to give a

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definition of what does it really truly mean to lead

283
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somebody on? And let's let's get let's get some feedback on

284
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that. And let's start just breaking off any lie that we're

285
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really leading people on. If our heart is postured in a good way,

286
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we're not really doing that. So Natalie is saying it's

287
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continuing to date when you're not feeling it. Well, but

288
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Natalie, is it after one day, two days? Why are you not

289
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feeling it? Okay, well, these are things to be thinking about.

290
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Okay. If intimacy outweighs commitment, if we're saying

291
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things that we don't mean that's true. Like I want so some things

292
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that I decided to take notes on here and I want to share with

293
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you like what it meant to me is that when we're emotionally

294
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invested, or keeping someone emotionally invested in us for

295
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attention, validation or other personal benefits, it's

296
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potentially manipulating them. We're seeking something from

297
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them so that we'll hold on to them because we're using them to

298
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fill a void or give something back to us. And so if that

299
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truly is happening, ladies, then we're going to want to do some

300
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revealing healing and we're going to want to do some

301
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heartwork. Okay. But I really don't think that many or most of

302
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you are coming into this season and in this in this group.

303
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Because

304
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you're trying to get something from somebody

305
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without truly wanting the desire of what God actually has.

306
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Does that make sense?

307
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Okay.

308
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So yeah, like Amy said,

309
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leading people on to me is manipulative.

310
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You're right.

311
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If it is in a heart posture

312
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where you're manipulating someone

313
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to get them to do something for you

314
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or to make you feel a certain way,

315
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then yeah, we need to investigate that.

316
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But a lot of times when you ladies are coming and sharing,

317
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well, I just don't think this is persons for me,

318
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and I'm leading them on, so that's why.

319
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No, I don't think it's you leading them on.

320
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You are simply just spending a little more time

321
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investigating a little bit more about who this person is,

322
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learning a little bit more about somebody.

323
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So you don't have to know if this person's your spirit mate.

324
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We actually encourage you to kind of shelf that

325
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in that early stages of level two.

326
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And I know for some of you, that's stretching you.

327
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Right?

328
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I know that can be a stretch because if...

329
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I say it because it was a stretch for me.

330
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I went into every dating situation

331
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like I just want this to be my person.

332
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Is this my husband?

333
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Can I spend the rest of my life with this person?

334
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And really that's not the stage of the game.

335
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That's not healthy pacing.

336
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It really isn't ladies.

337
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And we coach it because we've experienced it.

338
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I've watched women walk through that process as well,

339
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and they're rushing to figure out

340
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whether or not this guy is for them.

341
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And sometimes you could potentially be robbing yourself

342
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of an opportunity that God wants to grow you in

343
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because maybe he's bringing someone in your path

344
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to get to know a little more,

345
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to show and reveal some area of your heart

346
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that he wants to heal and prepare.

347
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And you'll hear us speak this a lot

348
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that God wants you married more

349
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than you probably want to be married yourself.

350
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But one thing that he wants more for you is your healing.

351
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And I speak this from my own wisdom and experience

352
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is that the dating opportunities that I had,

353
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the two years that I was really in this program

354
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and investing and putting my heart into it,

355
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and at times getting discouraged and distracted,

356
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at times having some highs and having some lows,

357
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God walked me through a series

358
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of several relationships or dating experience

359
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because I couldn't even really call

360
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some of those relationships.

361
00:27:59.740 --> 00:28:02.180
A lot of times I only went on one date with someone,

362
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not because I wasn't open to dating,

363
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:06.020
going on a second or third date,

364
00:28:06.020 --> 00:28:08.380
but a lot of times the guys just didn't ask me out

365
00:28:08.380 --> 00:28:10.980
on a second date after I told him I was interested in one.

366
00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:13.820
So a lot of times I was always in my own head

367
00:28:13.820 --> 00:28:15.760
thinking, oh, I don't know how I feel about this person.

368
00:28:15.760 --> 00:28:17.380
Well, I didn't even have to decide

369
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because guys already decided that.

370
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And then there were some that I actually,

371
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there was one in particular,

372
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I had to really take it to the Lord.

373
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And I ended things with him and I still wasn't 100% sure

374
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if I was supposed to do it.

375
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But I went on three dates with him,

376
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had a fourth one lined up,

377
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and then just something in my heart was like,

378
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okay, it's okay for me to go ahead and release him.

379
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And I came into this community

380
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and I always was open and shared vulnerably

381
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with the other women in this community

382
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and Jackie and everybody else.

383
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And so it really helped me.

384
00:28:52.220 --> 00:28:54.700
So I want you to keep that in mind.

385
00:28:54.700 --> 00:28:57.100
And I hope that, I know I just probably fire hosed you

386
00:28:57.100 --> 00:28:58.620
with a lot of information,

387
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but I really want you to take time to process that.

388
00:29:01.580 --> 00:29:02.980
And if you have questions on it,

389
00:29:02.980 --> 00:29:05.980
we can most certainly unpack a little more

390
00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:07.740
with you on this call.

391
00:29:07.740 --> 00:29:09.740
I'm gonna go through here, some of the chats.

392
00:29:09.740 --> 00:29:12.560
I see I got six messages I haven't gotten to see yet,

393
00:29:13.580 --> 00:29:15.060
but go ahead and start putting your hands up

394
00:29:15.060 --> 00:29:16.260
if you have questions.

395
00:29:16.260 --> 00:29:18.220
I know Beverly, I told her I was gonna give her

396
00:29:19.060 --> 00:29:19.900
the floor first.

397
00:29:19.900 --> 00:29:22.180
Then I've got Natalie, Karen, Sheree,

398
00:29:22.180 --> 00:29:23.420
is it Sheree or Shirai?

399
00:29:23.420 --> 00:29:25.820
I'm sorry, you're gonna have to repeat it a couple of times.

400
00:29:25.820 --> 00:29:27.020
It's Shirai.

401
00:29:27.020 --> 00:29:28.460
Shirai, okay.

402
00:29:28.460 --> 00:29:30.940
And then I have Karen and then anybody else

403
00:29:30.940 --> 00:29:35.060
that wants to share, please do.

404
00:29:35.060 --> 00:29:37.580
Remember, keep it short, brief and powerful.

405
00:29:37.580 --> 00:29:40.020
We got a lot of ladies on this call.

406
00:29:40.020 --> 00:29:42.380
A lot of you, a lot more ladies on the eight o'clock call

407
00:29:42.380 --> 00:29:44.340
than I'm used to on my one o'clock.

408
00:29:44.340 --> 00:29:47.340
So please extend me some grace.

409
00:29:48.500 --> 00:29:50.020
To try to get through everybody.

410
00:29:50.020 --> 00:29:52.180
I usually typically, I feel like there's probably

411
00:29:52.180 --> 00:29:54.660
a lot more questions on the eight o'clock

412
00:29:54.660 --> 00:29:55.660
that I'm not used to.

413
00:29:55.660 --> 00:29:59.780
So we will definitely navigate this together.

414
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.000
Beverly, if I'm going to go ahead and give you the floor and let you share and ask what

415
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:07.920
coaching advice that you were hoping to get tonight.

416
00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:15.440
Well, I think that actually you commented on most of what I wanted to ask you about.

417
00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:23.120
I just feel like, you know, there's this tension. There is a man, he's 63, actually,

418
00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:30.560
that, you know, I have been dating for a year off and on. I had sort of stopped for a while

419
00:30:30.560 --> 00:30:35.840
because, you know, he wanted me to be his girlfriend and I just really was not that

420
00:30:35.840 --> 00:30:42.800
interested. As I've gotten to know him, he's really, really a great guy. You know, I do

421
00:30:42.800 --> 00:30:50.000
enjoy his company and, you know, we're not, we don't talk every day and we, you know, we might

422
00:30:50.080 --> 00:30:55.040
only go out two times a month or something like that. But, you know, I've just been wrestling

423
00:30:55.040 --> 00:31:00.960
with it because I'm trying to really get into this dating for discovery. And at the same time,

424
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:06.640
I feel like because I know that he really would like more with me, you know, I've just been asking

425
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:12.000
myself, is this fair? I mean, should I, I mean, he knows that, you know, from the beginning,

426
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:17.520
I said that no, I could not be his girlfriend. I hate using that term at 78. That sounds so

427
00:31:17.520 --> 00:31:23.040
funny, but you know what I mean? I do. I do. Yes. But the main thing is, is just because,

428
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:30.080
you know, I, I have been an ordained minister for 56 years, a missionary evangelist,

429
00:31:31.120 --> 00:31:35.840
you know, just my whole life. His is really quite different. I mean, he's, he's definitely

430
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:42.880
loves the Lord and is a mature, you know, mature Christian, but we don't have the same. It's like,

431
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:47.920
we're not on the same journey. And so, you know, that's really being the big part of it is that

432
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:52.720
when I look at it through that lens, I think, well, there's no way he could be my spirit mate.

433
00:31:53.840 --> 00:32:00.560
Because we, we do not have that same. Can you, can you elaborate on that a little more? I mean,

434
00:32:00.560 --> 00:32:04.560
you might've probably discussed this with Ebony, but I want to make sure that I'm

435
00:32:04.560 --> 00:32:10.880
no, I haven't discussed it with anyone actually. Okay. So yeah. Like what in particular do you feel

436
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:19.360
like you're just not in alignment here? Okay. It sounds like he's a great guy. So we probably see

437
00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:24.000
that he's got some fruits, right? He's got some, some good qualities and characteristics that you

438
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:29.440
probably admire. And I'm sure you probably find, um, attractive on some level, right?

439
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:36.000
No, I do. And so what, where is this, uh, you know what, I don't see that this aligning. So

440
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:46.640
what can you give me some feedback on that? My whole focus is on having impact and, uh, really

441
00:32:47.520 --> 00:32:53.920
nurturing people, you know, in their purpose and their God given purpose. Uh, everything that I do

442
00:32:53.920 --> 00:33:01.280
pretty much focuses on that. I, I am an author. I teach Bible online. I direct an organization

443
00:33:01.280 --> 00:33:07.600
in Haiti where I lived 18 years. All of my focus is, you know, very missionary oriented.

444
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:16.720
He's a musician who has two bands and, um, you know, travels a lot playing with the bands. Uh,

445
00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:20.720
I have invited him to go to church with me. Uh, you know, he might not.

446
00:33:21.520 --> 00:33:26.720
Does he do worship or is this like secular music? No, secular, secular. Okay.

447
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:33.680
Mostly Latin, mostly Latin music, but, uh, a lot of different things. And he teaches,

448
00:33:33.680 --> 00:33:40.000
you know, he teaches, uh, guitar to young people. Okay. But the thing is, you know,

449
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:45.600
I had invited him to go to church with me at the very beginning when we met and he said he would,

450
00:33:45.600 --> 00:33:51.760
but then, um, but then he didn't. And then, you know, the conversation has, sorry,

451
00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:58.160
the conversation has come up, you know, again, and it's like, well, okay. He doesn't get to sleep

452
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:04.160
till three o'clock in the morning before he packs up all of his gear. And so, you know, then he ends

453
00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:10.960
up, no, it packs up all of his, you said gear. Huh? Did you say gear? Yeah. Okay. I just,

454
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:14.639
for a second, I was like, wait, pack up all your gear. I thought you said maybe beer. And I'm like,

455
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:20.320
no gear when he packs up the gear after they gotcha. Okay. It's three o'clock in the morning.

456
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:26.560
I've gone just one time with him and it's like, oh no, I can't do this. Um, and so, you know,

457
00:34:26.560 --> 00:34:32.960
it's like, if this is a person that I can't even, you know, worship with somehow that doesn't really

458
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:39.280
fit into what I see that, you know, the future that God has for me. Yeah. I mean, he's totally

459
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:44.560
into his music. That's his main thing. Uh, which I think you can probably see, like you admire

460
00:34:44.560 --> 00:34:52.080
certain things about him, but I do like having some of this insight, I can probably see how

461
00:34:52.080 --> 00:34:56.960
there's some, some hesitation and some reservation about stepping in a relationship with him because,

462
00:34:57.520 --> 00:34:59.840
you know, there are some things that

463
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.960
It's your destiny DNA,

464
00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:09.560
like your work that you do and being able to partner with someone in that.

465
00:35:09.560 --> 00:35:11.380
What I will say ladies,

466
00:35:11.380 --> 00:35:18.760
if you have the destiny DNA and a calling on your life to do missionary work or ministry work,

467
00:35:18.760 --> 00:35:23.120
it really is important for you to find someone that

468
00:35:23.120 --> 00:35:28.400
can also have the capacity to walk alongside you in that.

469
00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:33.240
It doesn't mean that they're going to do things the way that you do them necessarily,

470
00:35:33.240 --> 00:35:37.880
but there has to be some alignment somewhere,

471
00:35:37.880 --> 00:35:41.200
especially on that spiritual side.

472
00:35:41.200 --> 00:35:43.920
What I'm hearing you say, Beverly,

473
00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:53.400
is that he's probably not chasing after things the same way that you would on a spiritual level.

474
00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:55.240
Would that be correct in saying?

475
00:35:55.240 --> 00:35:58.680
Exactly. He talks about God all of the time.

476
00:35:58.680 --> 00:36:01.160
I can tell that he had a wonderful upbringing.

477
00:36:01.160 --> 00:36:06.840
I wish I could have met his parents because they instilled so much character in him.

478
00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:09.040
But when we talk about the things,

479
00:36:09.040 --> 00:36:11.440
he's so proud of me and what I'm doing,

480
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:13.480
and he's always encouraging me.

481
00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:18.400
But if I'm going to go on a mission trip and I do go out of the country,

482
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:20.400
he said, I'll support you.

483
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:22.880
That'll be fine. I won't mind you going.

484
00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:26.800
But then he's going to be traveling with the band.

485
00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:30.760
It's like, that's not really how I see my future.

486
00:36:30.760 --> 00:36:32.480
That was going to be my next question,

487
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:37.320
is have you had the honest open conversation with him of like,

488
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:41.240
this is what I'm looking for and this is what I believe

489
00:36:41.240 --> 00:36:44.960
my partner is going to also have to carry some capacity.

490
00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:49.080
While I appreciate that you will be supportive,

491
00:36:49.720 --> 00:36:54.000
I'm not sure I can feel confident

492
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:58.560
that you understand what this would look like in the capacity.

493
00:36:58.560 --> 00:37:03.040
Well, I had that conversation with him before initially,

494
00:37:03.040 --> 00:37:06.520
and then that's why we didn't see each other really for a couple of months,

495
00:37:06.520 --> 00:37:08.680
and then he resurfaced,

496
00:37:08.680 --> 00:37:12.240
and then I said things about it again two weeks ago.

497
00:37:12.240 --> 00:37:17.640
The reason that I wanted to ask the question tonight is because the next time we're together,

498
00:37:17.640 --> 00:37:20.920
I wanted to clarify it even more and just telling,

499
00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:25.560
I don't want to feel like I'm wasting your time because this is what I'm at.

500
00:37:25.560 --> 00:37:26.680
I think at this point,

501
00:37:26.680 --> 00:37:34.160
so what I was sharing earlier is really for under the content or not content,

502
00:37:34.160 --> 00:37:41.600
the context that these are men that you may be dating in the beginning stages.

503
00:37:41.600 --> 00:37:45.880
This situation is a little bit more unique as you all have

504
00:37:46.040 --> 00:37:52.840
been walking in some form of a level 2 relationship,

505
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:55.400
but it's not that early stages getting to know you,

506
00:37:55.400 --> 00:37:58.440
it's more of those later stages of level 2 of,

507
00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:00.080
okay, we need to decide,

508
00:38:00.080 --> 00:38:03.120
are we going to continue this and it's going to move

509
00:38:03.120 --> 00:38:06.640
towards exclusivity or do we need to part ways?

510
00:38:06.640 --> 00:38:09.240
Your situation is a little more unique because you've had

511
00:38:09.240 --> 00:38:13.760
more time of getting to know each other and having these conversations.

512
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:16.520
This is where I would advise,

513
00:38:16.520 --> 00:38:19.040
spend some time in prayer if you have not already done so,

514
00:38:19.040 --> 00:38:22.720
but I would imagine you have and really ask the Lord to show you

515
00:38:22.720 --> 00:38:27.800
what clear boundaries that you need to put in place and what is,

516
00:38:27.800 --> 00:38:35.360
are you holding onto this in a certain way or are you okay to release it and what that looks like?

517
00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:37.560
No, I'm okay to release it.

518
00:38:37.560 --> 00:38:39.880
I didn't hear you, what did you say?

519
00:38:39.880 --> 00:38:42.400
I said, I'm okay to release it.

520
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:50.880
It's just that I hadn't seen him for about three months and then I got in the program and he called

521
00:38:50.880 --> 00:38:54.320
and I'm supposed to be dating for discovery.

522
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:54.880
Yeah.

523
00:38:54.880 --> 00:39:01.520
I thought, okay, well, I'll go out with him again and he's very, very respectful.

524
00:39:01.520 --> 00:39:07.280
He's not pushing me on anything and then I am dating another guy as well.

525
00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:13.320
I'm just trying to go along with the program and learn things and

526
00:39:13.320 --> 00:39:18.800
continuing to go through heart healing and whatever is necessary,

527
00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:25.680
but I do have a pretty clear picture of what I believe that God has for me and the spirit made,

528
00:39:25.680 --> 00:39:28.360
and I don't mean by physically what he looks like,

529
00:39:28.360 --> 00:39:34.720
but spiritually what he looks like and so I don't want to settle for less.

530
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:39.880
I mean, I could, this person, if I stayed with them long enough,

531
00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:45.680
I could develop a stronger relationship with him, but I know I would be settling.

532
00:39:45.680 --> 00:39:47.360
I know that that's not really-

533
00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:50.120
Yeah, and I think that's really good and it's really healthy.

534
00:39:50.120 --> 00:39:59.520
I love your heart posture to work the program and take on the advice and really

535
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.600
know that you're making the right steps and moves in that direction. And that I applaud.

536
00:40:07.600 --> 00:40:11.200
And so I think you really have given it time. You've gotten to know this guy. You think

537
00:40:11.200 --> 00:40:17.360
he's a great guy. But like you said, ladies, I want you to know, you do not have to settle.

538
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:23.760
Now if Beverly was making a knee-jerk reaction and she was putting up some walls, we would

539
00:40:23.760 --> 00:40:29.200
be having a different conversation right now. But she's gotten to know this guy. She finds

540
00:40:29.200 --> 00:40:38.240
some good qualities. But at the end of the day, God has shown her her path and he's got

541
00:40:38.240 --> 00:40:46.400
good things for her. And so it reminds me, even when we're walking through, ladies, you

542
00:40:46.400 --> 00:40:51.120
may find yourself in a situation where you're like, this is a great guy. I just don't know

543
00:40:51.120 --> 00:40:56.880
if he's the one for me. And here's the thing, ladies, you can't mess it up. And Beverly,

544
00:40:56.880 --> 00:41:02.640
I think you can comfortably just have a conversation. Again, allow Holy Spirit into that interaction

545
00:41:02.640 --> 00:41:09.920
the next time you see him and allow Holy Spirit to be present. And if releasing him is God's

546
00:41:09.920 --> 00:41:18.640
will, then you walk in that and know that if it's God's will for him to put this man

547
00:41:18.640 --> 00:41:22.720
back in your life, God's going to make it happen. We just have to partner with that.

548
00:41:23.600 --> 00:41:29.680
And so I hope that gives you some encouragement and just know this would not be those situations

549
00:41:29.680 --> 00:41:36.160
where we're like, nope, you got to wait it out. But I really do. I think it's beautiful

550
00:41:36.160 --> 00:41:46.880
what you're doing and you sound healed in many areas. And so that's good. And I just

551
00:41:46.880 --> 00:41:51.440
continue to keep us posted and updated. When are you going to see this guy next?

552
00:41:53.520 --> 00:42:02.880
Possibly tomorrow. And the other guy that I'm dating was just calling, just called twice

553
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:07.360
while I'm on this call. I'll tell you part of what I'm going through.

554
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:11.520
Okay, Beverly, I'm going to have you hold the thought because I do have a few more ladies

555
00:42:11.520 --> 00:42:15.680
that I got to get through. And we've got about 30 more minutes left of the call. And I want

556
00:42:15.680 --> 00:42:20.960
to make sure that we get through and then we can revisit. And you can tell me more about

557
00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:28.400
this other guy because I do want to hear about him. All right. Natalie, how are you?

558
00:42:30.800 --> 00:42:36.080
Thanks for taking my call. I'm pulling up to a gate. I have another meeting I had posted

559
00:42:36.080 --> 00:42:44.560
in the chat. But the good news is, in short, I think actually my question was answered

560
00:42:44.560 --> 00:42:49.760
through Beverly because I was getting quite upset as well because I already had four dates

561
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:55.360
with someone. And I had some very similar reservations. And I'm like, I would feel like

562
00:42:55.360 --> 00:43:00.560
I'm leading this guy on because I'm not feeling it. And I felt like it was also for legitimate

563
00:43:00.560 --> 00:43:05.200
reasons, too, because of the spiritual, and I couldn't see him running with me in the capacity

564
00:43:05.200 --> 00:43:14.080
I wanted. Yeah. Hi, I'm here for seven via Rosa, please. Okay. Thank you. Okay, you too. Sorry,

565
00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:21.120
guys. Oh, you're fine. You're good. So anyway, yeah, so that was it. I just wanted to make sure

566
00:43:21.120 --> 00:43:28.240
I was clear with this understanding of discovery and dating because I'm just at what point do we

567
00:43:28.240 --> 00:43:34.720
just stop and release when we just kind of know? I just not attracted to him. I gave him some

568
00:43:34.720 --> 00:43:40.800
responses. And yeah, like once you ladies have been on a couple dates, and here's the thing,

569
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:45.520
like I'll just I'll share my own like brief testimony. I had a guy that I was dating. Like

570
00:43:45.520 --> 00:43:51.760
I said, I had three dates with him at a fourth date plan. He was a great guy. There was a lot

571
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:56.080
of really great qualities there just with something that I couldn't put my finger on,

572
00:43:56.080 --> 00:44:01.120
but I didn't understand it. And I was like, I don't know if this guy's for me. And I kept

573
00:44:01.120 --> 00:44:04.800
again, I was like, Well, no, maybe I'll give another shot. I'll give it another shot.

574
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:11.120
And it started just after three days, it was starting to make me feel a bit crazy.

575
00:44:11.120 --> 00:44:17.920
Be honest. Like I just really was like, why can't I feel peace about this. And so I had to go to the

576
00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:23.040
Lord in prayer. And I said, Lord, I don't know what I'm doing. But I know that you do. And I

577
00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:28.640
know that you're on this journey with me. And so I'm making a decision. My heart is not to step out

578
00:44:28.640 --> 00:44:33.200
of your will. But and I don't know if this is me stepping out of your will. I don't know if this

579
00:44:33.200 --> 00:44:37.920
is the enemy. I don't know if this is me. I don't know if this is you. But I'm going to release this

580
00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:45.200
guy. And I'm going to trust that if I've made any sort of blip, Lord, you, you Lord, okay,

581
00:44:45.200 --> 00:44:52.160
this is the key. This is this is key phrase. I gave it to God to bring him back into my life.

582
00:44:52.160 --> 00:44:58.880
And what I will say there were times this guy would come up in my spirit. And I'd be like,

583
00:44:58.880 --> 00:44:59.920
well, maybe I'll reach him.

584
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.720
to him. Y'all, Jackie, Jackie would even ask me about him and I could easily be like, well, if

585
00:45:06.720 --> 00:45:16.720
Jackie, you know, my sidekick, my wing woman, my dating coach, my mentor, if she's bringing up,

586
00:45:16.720 --> 00:45:24.000
then it must be God. No, God, you are going to put this man in my path. I don't have to do anything.

587
00:45:24.720 --> 00:45:32.320
And I, I came into partnership with the Lord. I went to him in prayer. I sought the Lord and,

588
00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:39.440
and I just trusted that God, I cannot make a mistake when I want what you want for me.

589
00:45:40.400 --> 00:45:44.720
And so ladies, I want that to give you encouragement. If you have gone on a few

590
00:45:44.720 --> 00:45:49.440
dates with somebody, and again, I say, give them a few dates, as long as there's no glaring red

591
00:45:49.440 --> 00:45:57.200
flags where they are being sexually inappropriate with you. Okay. They are not being rude,

592
00:45:57.200 --> 00:46:02.240
disrespectful, aggressive. Okay. If you're seeing those, those are red flags. And if

593
00:46:02.240 --> 00:46:06.000
you're not sure if it's a red flag, come to us in community, let us know what's happening.

594
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:10.640
And I'll tell you whether or not it's a red flag or not. Okay. Because I have no problem. I have

595
00:46:10.640 --> 00:46:14.800
no problem ripping the band-aids off for you ladies. Let's know that. Okay. And so as long

596
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:20.400
as you are, you know, giving it a shot and getting to know somebody and inviting the Lord

597
00:46:20.400 --> 00:46:26.400
into it, ladies, you're not going to mess it up. I promise. Okay. So I hope that Natalie,

598
00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:31.920
I hope that gives you encouragement. I know you're going to another meeting. I hope that you can feel

599
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:38.240
peace, letting it go. And again, just knowing that God's got you. All right. I hope that gives,

600
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:44.960
gives you something to just feel like, okay, I can rest easy. Cool. Okay. I think she might

601
00:46:44.960 --> 00:46:55.360
have had to jump off. Karen, how are you? Hi there. Okay. This is for people who perhaps are

602
00:46:55.360 --> 00:47:04.160
just starting because I officially not gone in on any dates yet. And I will tell you, I actually

603
00:47:04.160 --> 00:47:10.800
did post this in the chat. And so if anybody was engaged before or had a situation like that,

604
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:20.800
I actually had a run in with my ex-fiance this past weekend and I had to tell him why I broke

605
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:29.680
off the engagement and why we were not going to get back together again. I was so thankful for

606
00:47:29.680 --> 00:47:36.640
the heart work because I was able to articulate very clearly what was in my heart. And I was even

607
00:47:36.640 --> 00:47:42.160
able to speak from, this was what surprised me from a space of healing and a space where I could

608
00:47:42.160 --> 00:47:50.000
actually look at him with love and hope for his healing going forward. And I was, I think that

609
00:47:50.000 --> 00:48:00.560
was the biggest, hugest victory there. I love that. I love it. Yeah. It was pretty huge. It was

610
00:48:00.560 --> 00:48:07.200
pretty huge. It was not comfortable and I don't want, you know, it was not comfortable at all,

611
00:48:07.200 --> 00:48:15.440
but I think that it just really showed me how beautiful this heart work is. So, okay. So now

612
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:24.560
I'm on my, I'm on the jungle. I'm in the jungle. You're like, wait, okay, now I'm in it. Like,

613
00:48:24.560 --> 00:48:32.480
what do I do? Oh my gosh. And so the dating for discovery has definitely worked to the point of

614
00:48:32.480 --> 00:48:42.320
where I will, I know if they call me sexy, baby, whatever, I will not, you know, if there's a nice

615
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:49.280
way to get them to not call me those things, I would like to know, but I actually did try to,

616
00:48:49.280 --> 00:48:55.040
with one of them say, Hey, can we maybe talk about this? Cause I feel like we might be wanting a

617
00:48:55.040 --> 00:49:00.240
couple of different, two different things. And of course he weeded himself out. He never called me

618
00:49:00.240 --> 00:49:06.400
up. So they'll do that ladies. Let me tell you, especially when you're praying to Holy spirit,

619
00:49:07.200 --> 00:49:11.920
people just shut doors on people that you will not even realize like, wait, what just happened?

620
00:49:12.560 --> 00:49:17.760
Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was, that was kind of protection is God's like protection.

621
00:49:17.760 --> 00:49:21.680
Like you are God defended ladies. Like sometimes guys will just weed themselves out and you will

622
00:49:21.680 --> 00:49:25.200
not know why they disappeared, but count your lucky stars that they did.

623
00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:34.480
There is. Um, and, but I think, okay. My big question is, okay. So, well, okay. The big

624
00:49:35.040 --> 00:49:41.280
question is there has been a level of discouragement now because it feels like it has

625
00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:45.920
happened more often than not, where maybe somebody will say, I'll call you and then they won't. And

626
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:51.040
see for me, I'm under, I'm starting to understand. So the, the, the good thing is I'm starting to

627
00:49:51.040 --> 00:49:55.440
understand my value. It's like, no, if you're telling me to call at a certain time, then

628
00:49:56.720 --> 00:49:59.920
you need to call because I'm worth it. You know, that is my value.

629
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.840
you and you need to really stick to your words because we're still meeting. So this is my

630
00:50:05.840 --> 00:50:11.600
impression of you. And I'm trying to be as honorable as possible. So there's a lot of

631
00:50:11.600 --> 00:50:17.120
discouragement right now because they're weeding themselves out so quickly. It's like, okay,

632
00:50:17.120 --> 00:50:24.640
I haven't dated anybody. But I dropped my hanky and this one is a little bit nervous for me. By

633
00:50:24.640 --> 00:50:31.200
the way, he has not picked it up yet, but I dropped my hanky for a guy and he is probably

634
00:50:31.200 --> 00:50:41.120
trouble for me because he is, because he's very attractive and he is, um, yeah, he's very

635
00:50:41.120 --> 00:50:46.560
attractive. And if he actually picks it up and we actually go out then, and I'm, I know I'm looking

636
00:50:46.560 --> 00:50:54.000
ahead, but I figure that with, because Facebook dating is like in that week thing that it may be

637
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:59.440
nothing by next week, but I definitely need to go for it. Definitely praying about it because

638
00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:08.560
he, um, yeah, he's, he's charismatic and yeah, there's, there's attraction there.

639
00:51:08.560 --> 00:51:13.520
Absolutely. Ladies. And, and, and, and let's be honest, like you're going to be attracted to some

640
00:51:13.520 --> 00:51:15.920
of these guys that you go out on dates with. You're going to be hopeful. You're going to,

641
00:51:15.920 --> 00:51:21.760
there's going to be some, some anticipation, right? Okay. So what I'm really feeling led to

642
00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:29.520
share with you, and I think it's going to help the other women on the call as well is to rest assured

643
00:51:30.800 --> 00:51:39.280
you have a community. This is when this community is the most valuable. Okay.

644
00:51:40.560 --> 00:51:46.080
So that you don't put yourself in a, in a situation that you can't get yourself out of.

645
00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:51.760
We're here to help support you and lift you up. We're here to help you with the blind spots.

646
00:51:52.320 --> 00:51:58.400
I say, get excited about it, but let's just, again, make sure that you're, you know, in prayer as

647
00:51:58.400 --> 00:52:05.600
always. Okay. What is God trying to reveal to you? What is he trying to show you? Because every one

648
00:52:05.600 --> 00:52:12.000
of these dating experiences that you ladies go on, you are open to the opportunity for God to work

649
00:52:12.720 --> 00:52:17.920
it in the way that's going to help you prepare for marriage and help you with the capacity

650
00:52:17.920 --> 00:52:25.920
that it's going to take to, to have a kingdom marriage. Okay. And so these are all, y'all are

651
00:52:25.920 --> 00:52:31.280
going to have individual journeys that you're going on. And so it's going to be super important

652
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:36.560
that you all are sharing in the community what's happening. It's why I constantly encourage you

653
00:52:36.560 --> 00:52:44.320
create posts in our community, the women that show up and create the post and come to the calls

654
00:52:44.320 --> 00:52:48.400
and they're vulnerable and they're real. And I know for some of you, it's going to scare you off

655
00:52:48.400 --> 00:52:51.360
and you're gonna be like, but Carla, I don't want to do that. I've been hurt in community.

656
00:52:51.360 --> 00:52:54.720
What I will tell you, if you've been hurt in community, you'll be healed, healed in community.

657
00:52:54.720 --> 00:52:59.680
If you've been hurt in relationship, you will be healed in relationship. This community is here,

658
00:52:59.680 --> 00:53:06.800
is here to support you and grow you so that you can prepare for what God has for you. Okay.

659
00:53:09.600 --> 00:53:13.680
You know, we're here to check your, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

660
00:53:14.240 --> 00:53:21.200
All right. I remember, and it's funny because this, this dating situation came up in my spirit

661
00:53:21.200 --> 00:53:25.040
earlier today as I was preparing for the one o'clock call. And I didn't end up sharing on the

662
00:53:25.040 --> 00:53:29.120
one o'clock call because it never really came up in my mind, in my spirit. But I do remember

663
00:53:30.080 --> 00:53:39.200
kind of thinking on it today. And so I'm going to share it now. I went on a date with a guy

664
00:53:39.200 --> 00:53:43.440
and I knew when I was meeting, like I was meeting him, he was very attractive. He's a very handsome

665
00:53:43.440 --> 00:53:51.200
guy. He had a really great job. Just, just a great guy. Like from what I could see on paper,

666
00:53:51.200 --> 00:53:56.720
right. And just our interactions, there was some good energy. Okay. He asked me on a date that I

667
00:53:56.720 --> 00:54:02.320
wouldn't typically go on a first date with. It was like to a concert. Like I wouldn't say, yeah,

668
00:54:02.320 --> 00:54:05.760
that's probably the best first date, but I was like, okay, I'm going to be open to it.

669
00:54:06.400 --> 00:54:11.040
But I was like, let's meet first. Let's go for dinner. And I met him and I was getting to know

670
00:54:11.040 --> 00:54:19.280
him and ladies, this man was dropping so many F-bombs and y'all I'll like, I'm not a prude.

671
00:54:19.280 --> 00:54:25.680
I have a mouth at times, like, you know, when I'm really like heated about something. Okay. Now I,

672
00:54:26.880 --> 00:54:31.040
I don't allow that to come out unless it's usually with my husband because he's my safe space and

673
00:54:31.040 --> 00:54:35.680
there's no, there's no judgment there. And I can go to him and be, and be authentic. And,

674
00:54:35.680 --> 00:54:40.400
you know, and he loves me through it. And he also encourages me, like, let's not use that

675
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:46.240
kind of language. Okay. So I'm not a prude, but I knew I was like, I don't like this. Like,

676
00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:51.840
however, we continued the date. We go to this concert and ladies, let me tell you,

677
00:54:53.680 --> 00:54:59.840
I was getting swooned by this man. Like he would put his hand on the small of my back.

678
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.600
and y'all, physical touch will get me in trouble.

679
00:55:07.800 --> 00:55:10.600
But why I'm bringing this up

680
00:55:10.600 --> 00:55:14.280
is because God used this situation to show me

681
00:55:17.000 --> 00:55:18.620
how I operated in my past

682
00:55:18.620 --> 00:55:21.040
and how it wasn't God's design for me.

683
00:55:21.040 --> 00:55:23.080
It wasn't his plan for me.

684
00:55:23.080 --> 00:55:26.200
And I could have listened to the lies,

685
00:55:26.200 --> 00:55:28.960
I could have used that discouragement to kind of,

686
00:55:29.000 --> 00:55:31.440
oh, I'll entertain this, I'll be fine.

687
00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:35.440
No, what I did is I came into the community

688
00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:37.720
and I got real with the ladies in this community.

689
00:55:37.720 --> 00:55:39.800
I'm like, y'all, I went on this date

690
00:55:39.800 --> 00:55:41.280
and this is what happened.

691
00:55:41.280 --> 00:55:44.160
And I need your prayer, this is what I'm processing.

692
00:55:44.160 --> 00:55:48.000
I processed through this whole date

693
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:51.040
with the women in my community.

694
00:55:52.160 --> 00:55:53.880
And so I'm saying this

695
00:55:53.880 --> 00:55:56.000
because I really think this is timely, Karen,

696
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:58.080
that you're bringing this up,

697
00:55:58.080 --> 00:56:01.240
is that it is so important to show up

698
00:56:01.240 --> 00:56:04.720
and to be present on these calls and in our app

699
00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:06.680
and let us know what's happening.

700
00:56:06.680 --> 00:56:09.380
And so, Karen, I wanna encourage you

701
00:56:09.380 --> 00:56:11.640
that even if this man drops the hanky

702
00:56:11.640 --> 00:56:14.800
and you go on this date, you are fine.

703
00:56:14.800 --> 00:56:16.480
You are protected.

704
00:56:16.480 --> 00:56:19.120
Bring it to this community, we'll walk you through it.

705
00:56:19.120 --> 00:56:21.680
We're here to help you, we're here to support you.

706
00:56:21.880 --> 00:56:26.880
Um, I wanna also speak real quick

707
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:30.840
to men calling you sexy and baby.

708
00:56:30.840 --> 00:56:31.800
Thank you.

709
00:56:31.800 --> 00:56:33.880
Ugh, it's gross, right?

710
00:56:34.840 --> 00:56:37.320
Y'all, I can't, and let me tell you,

711
00:56:37.320 --> 00:56:41.240
this is when, okay, there's healthy balance here, okay?

712
00:56:43.120 --> 00:56:46.600
We wanna give, we always wanna give men grace

713
00:56:46.600 --> 00:56:48.280
because some men just don't know better.

714
00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:50.960
And believe it or not, it works for a lot of women.

715
00:56:52.640 --> 00:56:54.960
These men are on these apps

716
00:56:54.960 --> 00:56:58.360
and they're trying to navigate the same thing, okay?

717
00:56:58.360 --> 00:57:01.200
And so they think it works.

718
00:57:01.200 --> 00:57:03.280
And I'm sure there've been women out there

719
00:57:03.280 --> 00:57:05.640
where it did work, okay?

720
00:57:05.640 --> 00:57:08.920
And so we wanna give grace to an extent,

721
00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:10.720
but we wanna communicate a boundary.

722
00:57:11.880 --> 00:57:16.880
Hey, um, I'm sure you mean this as a compliment

723
00:57:17.520 --> 00:57:20.280
and I appreciate you saying that.

724
00:57:20.720 --> 00:57:23.440
I am not comfortable with you using

725
00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:26.040
those terms of endearment.

726
00:57:27.320 --> 00:57:32.320
And so I'm gonna ask that you withhold saying that.

727
00:57:32.880 --> 00:57:34.800
You don't have to say those things to me.

728
00:57:34.800 --> 00:57:38.080
I'm happy to continue to get to know you

729
00:57:38.080 --> 00:57:40.440
and learn a little bit more about each other.

730
00:57:40.440 --> 00:57:43.200
But I am gonna ask that you don't use those,

731
00:57:43.200 --> 00:57:45.000
that terminology with me

732
00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:47.080
since we don't really know each other well.

733
00:57:47.080 --> 00:57:49.120
Would that be okay with you?

734
00:57:49.160 --> 00:57:52.240
And ladies, a good man

735
00:57:52.240 --> 00:57:54.680
that probably just doesn't know better

736
00:57:54.680 --> 00:57:56.480
is gonna accept that,

737
00:57:56.480 --> 00:58:01.480
probably be apologetic and honor your boundary.

738
00:58:02.600 --> 00:58:07.040
Or they're not and they're gonna be manipulative

739
00:58:07.040 --> 00:58:09.560
and they're gonna be passive aggressive

740
00:58:09.560 --> 00:58:12.640
and they're gonna wanna just turn it on you.

741
00:58:12.640 --> 00:58:14.600
They're gonna wanna gaslight you.

742
00:58:14.600 --> 00:58:16.920
And if that's what is exposed

743
00:58:16.920 --> 00:58:19.640
with you communicating a healthy boundary,

744
00:58:19.640 --> 00:58:21.400
you wanna know what you ladies do?

745
00:58:23.160 --> 00:58:24.200
Block and bless.

746
00:58:24.200 --> 00:58:25.280
Bless and block, girl.

747
00:58:25.280 --> 00:58:26.120
Bless and block.

748
00:58:26.120 --> 00:58:27.160
Bless and block.

749
00:58:27.160 --> 00:58:30.360
You don't have to give them any explanation.

750
00:58:31.920 --> 00:58:34.040
You set a boundary, ladies.

751
00:58:34.040 --> 00:58:35.800
And again, bring it to the community.

752
00:58:35.800 --> 00:58:38.360
If you're really like, okay, this is what I did.

753
00:58:38.360 --> 00:58:40.160
I don't know if I was supposed to do it,

754
00:58:40.160 --> 00:58:42.920
but this is how he responded.

755
00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:43.960
This is how I responded.

756
00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:44.880
This is how he responded.

757
00:58:44.880 --> 00:58:45.880
This is what I did.

758
00:58:46.960 --> 00:58:48.800
Lay it out on the table for us.

759
00:58:48.800 --> 00:58:50.920
And we'll be honest with you.

760
00:58:50.920 --> 00:58:53.440
We'll walk through the process with you.

761
00:58:53.440 --> 00:58:55.280
We'll unpack it with you.

762
00:58:55.280 --> 00:58:56.360
And again, remember,

763
00:58:56.360 --> 00:59:00.160
there's nothing you can do to mess this up, right?

764
00:59:01.160 --> 00:59:03.040
So I hope that helps you.

765
00:59:04.520 --> 00:59:06.360
Esther, your discouragement,

766
00:59:07.560 --> 00:59:10.000
know that it's common to feel that way.

767
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:11.840
I can't tell you the amounts of discouragement

768
00:59:11.840 --> 00:59:16.520
I felt a week before my husband dropped into my DMs.

769
00:59:17.280 --> 00:59:21.240
I was having the snot face fall with Jackie.

770
00:59:21.240 --> 00:59:24.400
I mean, just downright like, Jackie, I'm done.

771
00:59:24.400 --> 00:59:25.440
I'm giving up.

772
00:59:25.440 --> 00:59:27.280
I'm not doing this anymore.

773
00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:28.640
I'm tore up from the floor up.

774
00:59:28.640 --> 00:59:30.280
This isn't gonna happen.

775
00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:33.360
And she just prophesied over me.

776
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:37.120
Now, this was during a time when our community was smaller

777
00:59:37.120 --> 00:59:38.200
and she was able to do that.

778
00:59:38.200 --> 00:59:41.360
So I say that and just don't hold her to that.

779
00:59:41.360 --> 00:59:43.840
Okay, don't expect that to happen, okay?

780
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:46.960
You know, we can do things on these calls

781
00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:48.160
like myself and Bethany,

782
00:59:48.160 --> 00:59:50.840
like last week I was praying over somebody

783
00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:52.320
and I felt Holy Spirit on that.

784
00:59:52.320 --> 00:59:54.680
Like, we're here to help support you.

785
00:59:54.680 --> 00:59:59.680
But again, I was discouraged and you never know.

786
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.040
know what can happen in those moments and there was just a shift and a week

787
01:00:06.040 --> 01:00:09.840
later like I said my husband dropped in my DMs and the rest is history y'all.

788
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:16.720
Okay so just know we've got your back okay it's okay to feel the

789
01:00:16.720 --> 01:00:21.560
discouragement at times you know share it with us we're here to lift you up

790
01:00:21.560 --> 01:00:24.400
we're here to pray with you about it we're here to give you encouragement

791
01:00:24.400 --> 01:00:28.520
we're here to share stories and testimonies of what we've experienced

792
01:00:28.520 --> 01:00:32.740
myself, Ebony, Bethany, any of the women in the community that have success

793
01:00:32.740 --> 01:00:38.660
stories and we're here just to lift each other up we're here to to give you

794
01:00:38.660 --> 01:00:41.960
encouragement I'm here like I have been in this program for five years I have

795
01:00:41.960 --> 01:00:47.000
seen it all I've seen all the love stories some of them I've been in the

796
01:00:47.000 --> 01:00:53.380
weddings I've done I've done all of that and there's no situation y'all that God

797
01:00:53.380 --> 01:01:00.140
is not the author of through love stories he's got the best one for you

798
01:01:00.140 --> 01:01:06.900
he really really does and we have well I think it's like over 1,600 marriages

799
01:01:06.900 --> 01:01:12.180
now in our community so let me tell you and every one of those 1,600 is

800
01:01:12.180 --> 01:01:20.060
probably is unique okay so just let that be an encouragement for y'all Karen

801
01:01:20.060 --> 01:01:23.540
thank you so much for showing up and being vulnerable and just continue to

802
01:01:23.540 --> 01:01:27.180
keep us posted okay thank you you're welcome

803
01:01:27.180 --> 01:01:35.260
Shirai, girlfriend, what's up? I think I responded to you a few days ago and you

804
01:01:35.260 --> 01:01:39.020
might have responded to me and I might not have gotten back to you and I did

805
01:01:39.020 --> 01:01:46.220
was um yeah you you met you um okay so I'll be looking at that this week too

806
01:01:46.220 --> 01:01:52.380
and so just know I'm here to give you give you feedback okay okay what you got

807
01:01:52.380 --> 01:02:01.100
for me today so I met another guy on Facebook dating and we've been chatting

808
01:02:01.100 --> 01:02:14.020
we've had some texting a few phone calls and then yesterday we had a video chat

809
01:02:14.020 --> 01:02:22.620
and this is this is putting it mildly he was like laying it on thick like it

810
01:02:22.620 --> 01:02:26.420
was like you're gonna be basically you're saying he didn't know what he was

811
01:02:26.420 --> 01:02:32.180
doing he would it was it was a lot I was just I was overwhelmed like you're gonna

812
01:02:32.180 --> 01:02:43.940
you're gonna be my wife and and I'm like and I'm and I'm and but my question

813
01:02:43.940 --> 01:02:49.020
was what was your response when he was kind of like I was just smiling kind of

814
01:02:49.020 --> 01:03:00.620
like okay like I don't know how to respond to that I'm like that's nice like

815
01:03:00.620 --> 01:03:08.740
I don't know I didn't know how to respond to that so then he but it brought

816
01:03:08.740 --> 01:03:13.380
up to something that happened previously with the other guy that I ended things

817
01:03:13.380 --> 01:03:19.620
with because he brought up that he didn't well you you probably don't know

818
01:03:19.620 --> 01:03:26.060
the guy I had like four dates with okay we ended up ending things or I ended up

819
01:03:26.060 --> 01:03:31.540
ending things and it was actually ended during a call on one of these nights and

820
01:03:31.540 --> 01:03:38.700
Ebony had to literally walk me through like ending it it was yeah but okay I do

821
01:03:38.900 --> 01:03:45.460
recall because I do like I do sometimes remember and I sometimes will go back

822
01:03:45.460 --> 01:03:51.300
and watch calls as well was this because you did share about a guy who was super

823
01:03:51.300 --> 01:03:56.300
passive-aggressive when he kind of yeah yeah that's the guy that's that's who I

824
01:03:56.300 --> 01:04:00.940
had to end it with but not good because I think I even gave you some feedback on

825
01:04:00.940 --> 01:04:06.260
that one too and I was like hold up like you need to set a boundary with this guy

826
01:04:07.260 --> 01:04:16.260
he wanted he wanted he got upset because he saw my he saw my pictures that I had

827
01:04:16.260 --> 01:04:22.020
that I had sent to him on it on my dating profile on another app and he

828
01:04:22.020 --> 01:04:27.860
felt like I should have like that I was should been a I guess exclusively dating

829
01:04:27.860 --> 01:04:32.340
him without him saying I want to exclusively date you and he didn't even

830
01:04:32.460 --> 01:04:36.740
say say any of those things and so it was kind of like it kind of felt like he

831
01:04:36.740 --> 01:04:41.140
was like calling me a floozy in so many words here's the thing is that's gas

832
01:04:41.140 --> 01:04:47.140
lighting that's gas lighting and so we like that's what that's why we come to

833
01:04:47.140 --> 01:04:51.260
community cuz yeah I didn't like how that man responded to you when you try

834
01:04:51.260 --> 01:04:55.660
to put up the boundary I remember I really remember that guy cuz I was like

835
01:04:55.660 --> 01:05:00.340
no he doesn't deserve any time with her

836
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.360
So, I'm so glad, I'm thankful you ended it with him.

837
01:05:03.360 --> 01:05:04.360
Yeah.

838
01:05:04.360 --> 01:05:07.400
And I hope that you grew and you learned something from that.

839
01:05:07.400 --> 01:05:10.400
I definitely learned from that.

840
01:05:10.400 --> 01:05:11.400
Good.

841
01:05:11.400 --> 01:05:12.400
Good, good, good.

842
01:05:12.400 --> 01:05:24.280
But this guy is like, so it's bringing that back up because he was like, he asked me about

843
01:05:24.280 --> 01:05:30.840
like not, like if he wanted, if we were going to get to know each other, could I commit

844
01:05:30.840 --> 01:05:34.000
to like only seeing him?

845
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:41.520
And I'm like, and I'm like, I said to him, I said, um, well, I would like to at least

846
01:05:41.520 --> 01:05:49.560
go on one real date in person with you before I say I'm gonna, because I don't think that,

847
01:05:49.560 --> 01:05:56.960
you know, I mean, we don't know each other, you're a stranger.

848
01:05:56.960 --> 01:06:03.440
And so I'm like, and so I didn't, I'm so I'm not really like, I'm not, that's what my question

849
01:06:03.440 --> 01:06:04.440
was.

850
01:06:04.440 --> 01:06:10.080
Like, how do you, how do you tell somebody, um, I'm, because what ended that other thing

851
01:06:10.080 --> 01:06:16.520
with the other guy is like, he didn't, he felt like I wanted him to, I wanted him to

852
01:06:16.520 --> 01:06:21.000
chase me and that he was going to be in competition with other men.

853
01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:24.800
And he didn't want to be in competition with other men.

854
01:06:24.800 --> 01:06:27.160
And um, yeah, sorry, boy, bye.

855
01:06:27.160 --> 01:06:30.760
If you're insecure, then we're not a match.

856
01:06:30.760 --> 01:06:33.200
Best of luck to you.

857
01:06:33.200 --> 01:06:35.200
Bye boy, bye.

858
01:06:35.200 --> 01:06:41.680
Ladies, like I'm telling you, like, we're all about the kind of nice and you know, all

859
01:06:41.680 --> 01:06:42.680
like, okay.

860
01:06:42.840 --> 01:06:46.760
Like, we're all about kind, but kind of nice are two different things.

861
01:06:46.760 --> 01:06:47.760
Okay.

862
01:06:47.760 --> 01:06:54.400
Being honest and truthful and, and, and knowing your worth and identity and being clear in

863
01:06:54.400 --> 01:06:56.120
your communication is being kind.

864
01:06:56.120 --> 01:06:57.120
Okay.

865
01:06:57.120 --> 01:07:01.880
You're not saying in a harsh way, but you can just say, I mean, I'm going to be real

866
01:07:01.880 --> 01:07:02.880
with y'all.

867
01:07:02.880 --> 01:07:03.880
Okay.

868
01:07:03.880 --> 01:07:12.640
So I'm sure y'all can see from my personality, like I'm, I'm very straightforward, but I'm

869
01:07:13.600 --> 01:07:19.280
So again, how I approach it and maybe a little bit different, but I've had to learn to grow

870
01:07:19.280 --> 01:07:27.120
in this, especially when I was dating is I will just tell it like it is, sir, you're

871
01:07:27.120 --> 01:07:28.120
a stranger.

872
01:07:28.120 --> 01:07:29.840
I don't really know you.

873
01:07:29.840 --> 01:07:35.760
And I'm not okay with making, with answering that kind of question, let's take it down

874
01:07:35.760 --> 01:07:37.320
a notch.

875
01:07:37.320 --> 01:07:40.840
Let's just get to know each other and see if we just enjoy spending or spending time

876
01:07:40.840 --> 01:07:43.440
with each other and each other's company.

877
01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:45.660
Do we have some common interests?

878
01:07:45.660 --> 01:07:47.840
Can we make each other's laugh?

879
01:07:47.840 --> 01:07:51.200
Do we enjoy being around one another?

880
01:07:51.200 --> 01:07:52.600
And let's go from there.

881
01:07:52.600 --> 01:07:53.600
Okay.

882
01:07:53.600 --> 01:07:55.720
Now we don't have to say it in a rude way.

883
01:07:55.720 --> 01:08:00.760
You know, truth be told, my husband came, put it on thick as well.

884
01:08:00.760 --> 01:08:01.760
Okay.

885
01:08:01.760 --> 01:08:03.860
He, uh, his response.

886
01:08:03.860 --> 01:08:06.480
So we had been, we were long distance.

887
01:08:06.480 --> 01:08:11.760
We were getting to know each other over phone and text, and he was going to come visit me

888
01:08:11.760 --> 01:08:12.760
after three weeks.

889
01:08:12.760 --> 01:08:13.760
Okay.

890
01:08:13.760 --> 01:08:17.080
So we really do encourage ladies, if you're long distance, someone, okay, this is my plug

891
01:08:17.080 --> 01:08:22.040
for long distance, you know, get togethers and getting to know somebody within three

892
01:08:22.040 --> 01:08:24.479
to six weeks, you need to be in person.

893
01:08:24.479 --> 01:08:25.479
Okay.

894
01:08:25.479 --> 01:08:29.680
So, you know, he and I were getting to know each other.

895
01:08:29.680 --> 01:08:34.260
He was coming to visit me exactly three weeks after we made contact.

896
01:08:34.260 --> 01:08:41.020
And his question to me was, am I going to get to see you more than once while I'm visiting?

897
01:08:41.020 --> 01:08:43.779
And my response was, uh, I don't know.

898
01:08:43.779 --> 01:08:45.100
I need to get to know you first.

899
01:08:45.100 --> 01:08:49.439
Can we go on a first date and then decide?

900
01:08:49.439 --> 01:08:51.060
And we talk about it now.

901
01:08:51.060 --> 01:08:53.660
And I'm like, what was your response?

902
01:08:53.660 --> 01:08:54.660
And you want to know what he said?

903
01:08:54.660 --> 01:08:58.899
He was like, Oh, he's like in my mind.

904
01:08:58.899 --> 01:09:00.420
I thought, Oh, she's right.

905
01:09:00.420 --> 01:09:01.420
What if she's crazy?

906
01:09:02.420 --> 01:09:13.220
So don't be afraid ladies to say, Hey, you know, that's a good question.

907
01:09:13.220 --> 01:09:17.580
I can't answer that because I don't know you.

908
01:09:17.580 --> 01:09:23.220
So let's, let's just take it down a notch and let's spend time getting to know each

909
01:09:23.220 --> 01:09:27.340
other and let's pace this out appropriately.

910
01:09:27.340 --> 01:09:31.340
What do you say about that, sir?

911
01:09:32.260 --> 01:09:33.260
Okay.

912
01:09:33.260 --> 01:09:34.260
I'm going to go from there.

913
01:09:34.260 --> 01:09:35.260
Okay.

914
01:09:35.260 --> 01:09:38.779
Does that feel like something you feel like you can comfortably do?

915
01:09:38.779 --> 01:09:42.020
I think it's something I can comfortably do.

916
01:09:42.020 --> 01:09:52.140
I guess I've, what I've realized in all of this is that fear rises up a lot, um, with

917
01:09:52.140 --> 01:09:59.060
that was going to be my next, um, let's, we're gonna, you know, we can spend some time unpacking

918
01:09:59.060 --> 01:10:00.060
that.

919
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.400
give you some things to be meditating and praying about this week and start,

920
01:10:00.060 --> 01:10:00.060


921
01:10:05.420 --> 01:10:09.960
you know, again, this is where that heartwork comes in, you know, what fear,

922
01:10:09.960 --> 01:10:17.560
what thought, what anxious, you know, lie are starting to surface and let's

923
01:10:17.560 --> 01:10:19.560
identify what that lie is.

924
01:10:20.240 --> 01:10:24.800
Let's ask God to reveal where that lie entered.

925
01:10:24.800 --> 01:10:26.120
Where's the root of that?

926
01:10:27.120 --> 01:10:30.320
Let's walk through the healing process, whether, you know, there's

927
01:10:30.320 --> 01:10:33.760
forgiveness and, you know, letting that go.

928
01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:38.360
But again, what I want to emphasize with all you ladies and is

929
01:10:38.360 --> 01:10:39.880
heartwork is never over.

930
01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:40.520
Okay.

931
01:10:40.560 --> 01:10:45.040
I always say that on my calls, but what's important to understand about

932
01:10:45.040 --> 01:10:50.120
heartwork, especially when these lies surface is we can't just say, okay,

933
01:10:50.120 --> 01:10:51.640
I'm going to pray that lie away.

934
01:10:51.680 --> 01:10:55.640
We have to replace it with God's truth.

935
01:10:57.080 --> 01:11:01.600
And I always see, and I'm guilty of this myself is that sometimes I can

936
01:11:01.600 --> 01:11:07.360
recognize the lie and Holy spirit can show me memories of where maybe this lie

937
01:11:07.360 --> 01:11:12.400
entered and I can, you know, reconcile that I can forgive, I can walk through

938
01:11:12.400 --> 01:11:16.760
that process, but, you know, if I'm honest, there are times that I forget to

939
01:11:16.760 --> 01:11:20.320
ask the Lord to replace that lie with his truth.

940
01:11:21.040 --> 01:11:26.280
And so I want you to spend time this week is, you know, really identifying

941
01:11:26.280 --> 01:11:33.480
what's the, what's the core root lie or fear belief, you know, and ask Holy

942
01:11:33.480 --> 01:11:37.480
spirit to reveal where that, where that entered and let's walk through that

943
01:11:37.480 --> 01:11:38.640
heartwork process.

944
01:11:39.440 --> 01:11:43.280
That's something that you're, you feel good about doing, and then you can

945
01:11:43.280 --> 01:11:45.320
report back to us next week.

946
01:11:46.040 --> 01:11:46.520
Yes.

947
01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:47.240
Yes.

948
01:11:48.080 --> 01:11:54.560
I know that the fear comes from like fear of being alone and that, that is

949
01:11:54.560 --> 01:11:55.760
definitely a scarcity.

950
01:11:55.760 --> 01:12:01.080
Like the only guy that's going to show interest in me, you know, it's

951
01:12:01.080 --> 01:12:03.040
definitely, that's what the fear is.

952
01:12:03.360 --> 01:12:03.680
Yeah.

953
01:12:03.680 --> 01:12:05.160
And we can speak to that lie.

954
01:12:05.520 --> 01:12:10.280
We can tell that lie to go back where it belongs in the pit of hell, because

955
01:12:10.280 --> 01:12:11.440
that's where that lie comes from.

956
01:12:11.440 --> 01:12:12.440
That comes from the enemy.

957
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:19.240
And so once we can see, we can speak to that and we can reconcile like, okay,

958
01:12:19.240 --> 01:12:22.200
this is where it came in and I don't have to align with this anymore.

959
01:12:22.560 --> 01:12:24.200
I come against that lie.

960
01:12:25.200 --> 01:12:28.680
And now God is going to start replacing it with his truth.

961
01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:31.080
And so when that, why wants to come back?

962
01:12:31.080 --> 01:12:33.440
Cause ladies, I mean, let's be real here.

963
01:12:33.480 --> 01:12:35.880
And, and I'm, I'm sharing this from experience.

964
01:12:36.200 --> 01:12:39.360
We walk through this heartwork stuff and these lies can get uncovered and

965
01:12:40.360 --> 01:12:45.040
But I'll be honest, it's, they sometimes want to creep back in.

966
01:12:46.160 --> 01:12:47.600
We can like cast it out.

967
01:12:47.600 --> 01:12:50.320
And then all of a sudden it wants to creep its ugly head again.

968
01:12:50.640 --> 01:12:55.280
And sometimes we have to come back and be like, no, I've already let this go.

969
01:12:55.440 --> 01:12:58.640
And then we got to start speaking his truth over us.

970
01:12:59.520 --> 01:13:03.000
And once we, cause at this point, if we're asking God to replace it,

971
01:13:03.160 --> 01:13:04.840
you've already got it right here.

972
01:13:05.520 --> 01:13:08.880
And so when that lie wants to creep in and remind yourself, no, I've

973
01:13:08.880 --> 01:13:10.240
come against this lie.

974
01:13:10.440 --> 01:13:12.120
This is what God says about me.

975
01:13:12.280 --> 01:13:13.480
This is the truth.

976
01:13:13.680 --> 01:13:14.920
You can take that line.

977
01:13:14.920 --> 01:13:19.160
You can go back to hell where you belong, because I'm not going to, I'm not going

978
01:13:19.160 --> 01:13:25.000
to align with what you say, Satan, not today, Satan, right.

979
01:13:25.720 --> 01:13:27.560
And start speaking that truth.

980
01:13:27.960 --> 01:13:28.600
Okay.

981
01:13:30.120 --> 01:13:33.120
And this is just like, again, this is why heartwork is so good.

982
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:36.240
It's, it's why you will use it for the rest of your life.

983
01:13:37.160 --> 01:13:39.400
Cause believe it or not, ladies, you're going to use this in your marriage.

984
01:13:40.360 --> 01:13:43.400
Heartwork revealing for healings are going to come up in your marriage.

985
01:13:43.400 --> 01:13:51.240
I cannot tell you the enemy wants to come and attack marriages, especially

986
01:13:51.240 --> 01:13:59.040
kingdom marriages, y'all like, I can't tell you some of the things that the

987
01:13:59.040 --> 01:14:04.040
enemy has come and tried to create lies into my head, into my husband's heads,

988
01:14:04.040 --> 01:14:07.120
into my kids' heads, and we've had to combat that.

989
01:14:07.120 --> 01:14:09.360
We've, I've had to walk us all through heartwork.

990
01:14:10.840 --> 01:14:11.080
Okay.

991
01:14:11.080 --> 01:14:12.040
It doesn't go away.

992
01:14:12.160 --> 01:14:17.360
Heartwork is a tool that you will use the rest of your life and it is a blessing.

993
01:14:18.200 --> 01:14:18.920
Okay.

994
01:14:19.520 --> 01:14:21.240
So I want to encourage you with that.

995
01:14:21.840 --> 01:14:22.360
Okay.

996
01:14:22.480 --> 01:14:24.440
We've got maybe another five or 10 minutes.

997
01:14:24.680 --> 01:14:27.040
Felicia, you are my next hand raise.

998
01:14:27.320 --> 01:14:29.920
Um, Mar is it Marley?

999
01:14:30.920 --> 01:14:33.960
If I have some time, we can visit.

1000
01:14:34.080 --> 01:14:35.480
I know you posted in the app.

1001
01:14:35.480 --> 01:14:40.400
So if I can't get to you, we can go ahead and revisit in the app and we can, and

1002
01:14:40.400 --> 01:14:43.040
cover some more cause I do want to walk through some things with you.

1003
01:14:43.040 --> 01:14:46.960
I think if I recall, I remember a few things and then I know a few

1004
01:14:46.960 --> 01:14:48.480
of you have put things in the chat.

1005
01:14:48.520 --> 01:14:52.840
I know, um, Juanita, you brought some things up, so I hope you've been able

1006
01:14:52.840 --> 01:14:56.520
to process and, and really hear from Holy spirit and our time together.

1007
01:14:56.920 --> 01:14:59.600
Um, Lisa, I don't know if she's still on here.

1008
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.000
I hope you, I think Allison helped answer your questions.

1009
01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:08.480
And then Missy, you were talking about the ick.

1010
01:15:08.480 --> 01:15:11.400
So Missy, if you're still on, I really,

1011
01:15:11.400 --> 01:15:15.360
I'm trying to think, was it last week or the week prior

1012
01:15:15.360 --> 01:15:18.940
where we kind of talked about that ick feeling?

1013
01:15:18.940 --> 01:15:23.000
Okay, so come share it in our app

1014
01:15:23.000 --> 01:15:25.560
and we can process and unpack that, Missy,

1015
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:27.000
if you're still here.

1016
01:15:27.000 --> 01:15:28.280
Because I do want to speak to that

1017
01:15:28.400 --> 01:15:30.720
because there is some stuff, there's some good wisdom

1018
01:15:30.720 --> 01:15:32.920
that I have shared over the years about this.

1019
01:15:32.920 --> 01:15:34.840
And I've heard Jackie kind of talk on

1020
01:15:34.840 --> 01:15:37.160
and we can kind of help maybe where that,

1021
01:15:37.160 --> 01:15:39.740
what lies are kind of the surface

1022
01:15:39.740 --> 01:15:42.480
when we get those feelings and if they're valid

1023
01:15:42.480 --> 01:15:44.480
or if they're just fear and lies

1024
01:15:44.480 --> 01:15:46.440
and things that are kind of creeping in.

1025
01:15:46.440 --> 01:15:49.160
So just keep that in mind.

1026
01:15:49.160 --> 01:15:52.560
All right, so Felicia, I'm going to leave you with the floor

1027
01:15:52.560 --> 01:15:57.380
and let's dive in, okay?

1028
01:15:57.380 --> 01:15:59.340
You can go ahead and unmute.

1029
01:15:59.340 --> 01:16:02.100
I thought there was someone before me.

1030
01:16:02.100 --> 01:16:05.640
I just need, I think there was someone before me.

1031
01:16:05.640 --> 01:16:07.980
Okay, well, I'm calling on you, girlfriend.

1032
01:16:07.980 --> 01:16:09.260
Okay.

1033
01:16:09.260 --> 01:16:12.540
So I need to share, I need some hands on with the app

1034
01:16:12.540 --> 01:16:14.980
because I'm excited to get into the discovery

1035
01:16:14.980 --> 01:16:16.140
and it kind of sound weird,

1036
01:16:16.140 --> 01:16:17.740
like everyone says it's a little hard.

1037
01:16:17.740 --> 01:16:19.340
I want to hear my heart too.

1038
01:16:19.340 --> 01:16:20.640
I want to walk through it.

1039
01:16:20.640 --> 01:16:23.540
So I really have beautiful ladies that helped me through it

1040
01:16:23.540 --> 01:16:25.380
but I just can't get my hands on it.

1041
01:16:25.420 --> 01:16:27.780
One other thing I want to share is that,

1042
01:16:27.780 --> 01:16:30.960
as we, I heard Jackie talk about the situation shape

1043
01:16:30.960 --> 01:16:35.960
and the delusional shape, it's so real.

1044
01:16:35.980 --> 01:16:36.820
It's so real.

1045
01:16:36.820 --> 01:16:39.540
And not that I had it, but I had met this guy.

1046
01:16:39.540 --> 01:16:41.220
He was the first time he came to our church,

1047
01:16:41.220 --> 01:16:43.980
which it was kind of the first few months

1048
01:16:43.980 --> 01:16:47.460
I was just attending that church, get to know the ministry.

1049
01:16:47.460 --> 01:16:52.140
And the opportunity was there for me to meet him first

1050
01:16:52.140 --> 01:16:53.940
and I kind of have my eyes on him a little bit

1051
01:16:53.940 --> 01:16:54.880
to see who he was.

1052
01:16:55.400 --> 01:16:57.480
So I talked to Ebony about it and she said,

1053
01:16:57.480 --> 01:16:59.080
I should drop the hankies, scary for me.

1054
01:16:59.080 --> 01:17:01.040
I don't know what that mean.

1055
01:17:01.040 --> 01:17:04.240
But anyway, I didn't get to see him

1056
01:17:04.240 --> 01:17:05.400
because I know he was traveling.

1057
01:17:05.400 --> 01:17:08.360
So I'm kind of that bold girl, I like clarity

1058
01:17:08.360 --> 01:17:09.760
and that's what helped me to be bold

1059
01:17:09.760 --> 01:17:11.640
because I just like to be clear.

1060
01:17:11.640 --> 01:17:14.920
So on the Sunday and as we were just talking a little bit

1061
01:17:14.920 --> 01:17:16.560
to kind of get him to know, like,

1062
01:17:16.560 --> 01:17:17.960
what bring you to Virginia?

1063
01:17:17.960 --> 01:17:19.760
How is it going for you?

1064
01:17:19.760 --> 01:17:22.000
And he said, he started telling me

1065
01:17:22.000 --> 01:17:23.520
that he's here for healing.

1066
01:17:23.520 --> 01:17:26.080
And let me tell you, I was so blessed.

1067
01:17:26.080 --> 01:17:28.200
I was so encouraged to hear

1068
01:17:28.200 --> 01:17:30.280
that we're praying each morning for men

1069
01:17:30.280 --> 01:17:33.320
and to hear that I have the opportunity to talk to one

1070
01:17:33.320 --> 01:17:38.000
who is actually taking time off to walk into healing.

1071
01:17:38.000 --> 01:17:40.120
He said he has a few marriage, he never said,

1072
01:17:40.120 --> 01:17:43.000
but when I said one, he said, well, more than that.

1073
01:17:43.000 --> 01:17:45.480
And he said, because he has some issues,

1074
01:17:45.480 --> 01:17:48.440
he was in the military, had some PTSD dealing with,

1075
01:17:48.440 --> 01:17:49.760
he couldn't keep the marriage.

1076
01:17:49.760 --> 01:17:53.000
So he's separated since February.

1077
01:17:53.880 --> 01:17:56.800
He decided on the separation because he's not well

1078
01:17:56.800 --> 01:18:01.280
to keep a woman or a marriage healthy.

1079
01:18:01.280 --> 01:18:04.160
And for me, it was such a blessing

1080
01:18:04.160 --> 01:18:06.320
to hear someone is doing that, that we're praying

1081
01:18:06.320 --> 01:18:09.440
and God is answering prayer in another man

1082
01:18:09.440 --> 01:18:10.680
that we don't know.

1083
01:18:10.680 --> 01:18:11.760
He's not in this community,

1084
01:18:11.760 --> 01:18:14.080
but he's out there as we're praying for them.

1085
01:18:14.080 --> 01:18:16.880
And it was so uplifting when he shared his story with me,

1086
01:18:16.880 --> 01:18:19.520
just on the healing journey that he's here for.

1087
01:18:19.520 --> 01:18:21.920
Then I can realize that I don't need to be thinking

1088
01:18:21.920 --> 01:18:23.720
about this man, because guess what?

1089
01:18:23.720 --> 01:18:27.120
He's separated, he's walking through healing,

1090
01:18:27.120 --> 01:18:30.960
and he said he's not good for anyone right now

1091
01:18:30.960 --> 01:18:33.840
until he walked through these healing.

1092
01:18:33.840 --> 01:18:38.400
Great guy, just great guy in ministry, love ministry,

1093
01:18:38.400 --> 01:18:39.560
love the things I would love,

1094
01:18:39.560 --> 01:18:42.360
but the clarity just give me hope.

1095
01:18:42.360 --> 01:18:44.800
That the clarity, we just need to-

1096
01:18:44.800 --> 01:18:46.000
I love that.

1097
01:18:46.000 --> 01:18:48.360
Are they looking?

1098
01:18:48.360 --> 01:18:49.960
Do they, are they interested?

1099
01:18:49.960 --> 01:18:52.240
But then we hear that they're walking in healing

1100
01:18:52.240 --> 01:18:54.280
just like us, and that just really give me hope.

1101
01:18:54.280 --> 01:18:56.680
So I would share that clarity is very important

1102
01:18:56.680 --> 01:18:58.040
and we need to get that.

1103
01:18:58.040 --> 01:19:00.000
I love that, yeah, just keeping that,

1104
01:19:00.000 --> 01:19:02.240
communication, prayer, ladies.

1105
01:19:02.240 --> 01:19:05.760
And again, I think this is just a beautiful testimony.

1106
01:19:05.760 --> 01:19:09.840
It just reminds me of what I often share with you ladies is,

1107
01:19:09.840 --> 01:19:13.400
every one of these situations, experiences, dates,

1108
01:19:13.400 --> 01:19:14.880
or whatever that you go on,

1109
01:19:15.760 --> 01:19:18.040
sometimes they're not gonna be your spirit mate,

1110
01:19:18.040 --> 01:19:21.680
but they're there to help you walk this journey

1111
01:19:21.680 --> 01:19:23.080
in this process.

1112
01:19:23.080 --> 01:19:27.120
And so it just really, I think what I hear you say,

1113
01:19:27.120 --> 01:19:32.120
Felicia, is that this man was placed in your path

1114
01:19:33.120 --> 01:19:37.320
as a way that God was able to use him to remind you

1115
01:19:37.320 --> 01:19:41.680
that God is at work, he is healing his sons,

1116
01:19:41.680 --> 01:19:45.280
that any of you ladies that are concerned or worried

1117
01:19:45.320 --> 01:19:49.360
that God doesn't have a healthy, healed man

1118
01:19:49.360 --> 01:19:53.080
or someone that's open to having a teachable heart,

1119
01:19:53.080 --> 01:19:55.240
that they do exist.

1120
01:19:55.240 --> 01:19:59.240
And so not only is it gonna give Felicia encouragement

1121
01:19:59.240 --> 01:20:00.080
that God.

1122
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.400
God is working, but her coming and sharing it,

1123
01:20:04.400 --> 01:20:06.240
I think was on purpose,

1124
01:20:06.240 --> 01:20:09.080
because I think there's someone here on this call

1125
01:20:09.080 --> 01:20:12.200
that is with us live or even on replay,

1126
01:20:12.200 --> 01:20:14.920
that that's gonna touch your heart as well.

1127
01:20:14.920 --> 01:20:18.180
And then it's gonna be a reminder and a confirmation

1128
01:20:18.180 --> 01:20:21.600
that God hears our prayers

1129
01:20:21.600 --> 01:20:23.760
and he's got good sons out there

1130
01:20:23.760 --> 01:20:26.080
for his precious daughters.

1131
01:20:26.080 --> 01:20:27.120
Man.

1132
01:20:27.120 --> 01:20:27.960
Okay?

1133
01:20:28.960 --> 01:20:32.080
So ladies, all right, we're a little bit past time.

1134
01:20:32.080 --> 01:20:34.440
I wanna, you know, I apologize.

1135
01:20:34.440 --> 01:20:36.760
I did my best to get through everybody.

1136
01:20:36.760 --> 01:20:38.480
There's a lot more of you on this call

1137
01:20:38.480 --> 01:20:40.280
than usually my one o'clock.

1138
01:20:40.280 --> 01:20:42.940
So my deepest apologies.

1139
01:20:44.080 --> 01:20:46.360
I don't want that to discourage you

1140
01:20:46.360 --> 01:20:48.500
from not sharing what was on your heart

1141
01:20:48.500 --> 01:20:50.000
to share on our call.

1142
01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:52.640
I'm just gonna ask that you throw it in the app

1143
01:20:52.640 --> 01:20:55.880
and myself or Ebony will touch on it here

1144
01:20:55.880 --> 01:20:59.400
in the next day or two and give you our wisdom

1145
01:20:59.400 --> 01:21:02.360
and share, you know, what we feel Holy Spirit

1146
01:21:02.360 --> 01:21:03.240
speaking to us.

1147
01:21:03.240 --> 01:21:07.600
And, you know, don't hesitate to just continue to show up

1148
01:21:07.600 --> 01:21:08.660
for these live calls.

1149
01:21:08.660 --> 01:21:10.160
If you can make both, that's great.

1150
01:21:10.160 --> 01:21:12.200
I see, you know, a handful of you ladies

1151
01:21:12.200 --> 01:21:13.720
that were on my call at one o'clock

1152
01:21:13.720 --> 01:21:15.300
and that you're also here on at eight.

1153
01:21:15.300 --> 01:21:19.080
I know the time sometimes is a little bit different.

1154
01:21:19.080 --> 01:21:21.600
If you make it to a live call,

1155
01:21:21.600 --> 01:21:24.160
then watch the replay of the other one.

1156
01:21:24.160 --> 01:21:27.080
Cause there's all sorts of questions and nuggets

1157
01:21:27.080 --> 01:21:28.400
that we share.

1158
01:21:28.400 --> 01:21:31.240
And honestly, Holy Spirit really just, you know,

1159
01:21:31.240 --> 01:21:32.560
takes us on a journey.

1160
01:21:33.960 --> 01:21:38.880
And I, you know, I'm thankful for all of you showing up

1161
01:21:38.880 --> 01:21:40.280
and sharing what's on your heart,

1162
01:21:40.280 --> 01:21:43.200
what you're experiencing and just know

1163
01:21:43.200 --> 01:21:47.120
it really is helping everyone in this community.

1164
01:21:47.120 --> 01:21:48.280
Okay.

1165
01:21:48.280 --> 01:21:52.800
So ladies again, thank you so much for your time.

1166
01:21:52.800 --> 01:21:56.160
I know Missy, I definitely want to see you in the app

1167
01:21:56.160 --> 01:21:58.320
and I want to, you know, talk to what you were, you know,

1168
01:21:58.320 --> 01:22:00.000
sharing about the ick.

1169
01:22:00.000 --> 01:22:02.160
Lolita, I saw your hand go up.

1170
01:22:02.160 --> 01:22:04.280
Marley, I know you wanted to share.

1171
01:22:04.280 --> 01:22:06.080
There was, like Felicia said,

1172
01:22:06.080 --> 01:22:08.640
there was someone that had their hand up prior

1173
01:22:08.640 --> 01:22:12.160
and I don't recall who it is, but you know who it was.

1174
01:22:12.160 --> 01:22:15.280
You get in there, share it.

1175
01:22:15.280 --> 01:22:16.280
Okay.

1176
01:22:16.280 --> 01:22:19.840
And again, ladies, it's always such a blessing to be here.

1177
01:22:20.840 --> 01:22:23.640
And yeah, we'll see you next week.

1178
01:22:23.640 --> 01:22:24.720
Sound good?

1179
01:22:24.720 --> 01:22:26.520
Don't forget worship songs.

1180
01:22:26.520 --> 01:22:30.080
I got a note to myself that I'm going to post the ones

1181
01:22:30.080 --> 01:22:32.480
that I put in my wedding ceremony

1182
01:22:32.480 --> 01:22:35.640
that blessed me in this program.

1183
01:22:35.640 --> 01:22:37.680
And I hope that it will bless you all.

1184
01:22:37.680 --> 01:22:40.240
But ladies, have a great rest of your night.

1185
01:22:40.240 --> 01:22:41.080
All right.

1186
01:22:41.080 --> 01:22:41.920
Thank you.

1187
01:22:41.920 --> 01:22:42.760
Bye ladies.

1188
01:22:42.760 --> 01:22:43.600
Good night.

1189
01:22:43.600 --> 01:22:45.440
Thank you, Karla.

1190
01:22:45.440 --> 01:22:46.800
Thank you so much, Karla.

1191
01:22:46.800 --> 01:22:47.960
Thank you ladies.