WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:09.480 All right, so for the sake of any of the new guys that would be watching this replay and 2 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:15.760 of course our new guys that are here tonight with us, let me just give a little overview 3 00:00:15.760 --> 00:00:19.200 of the last year single program as it pertains to guys. 4 00:00:19.200 --> 00:00:24.600 Okay, so we have a beautiful co-ed program, both men and women, but our guys program's 5 00:00:24.600 --> 00:00:30.700 a little bit different in the way that the women are very linear in their program. 6 00:00:30.700 --> 00:00:36.600 They come into heart work and they're there for five or six weeks, and then they go into 7 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:41.120 what we call phase two, which is our love story accelerator, and that's a lot of dating 8 00:00:41.120 --> 00:00:42.120 coaching. 9 00:00:42.120 --> 00:00:46.640 That's reframing what's it look like to date as a Christian, and a lot of really important 10 00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:53.000 sessions that they'll be doing there as far as boundaries and the divine feminine and 11 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.000 dating 101. 12 00:00:54.000 --> 00:01:00.600 There's a dating challenge connected to that phase as well. 13 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:05.400 We do a little bit of attachment style work there, and then they'll graduate into the 14 00:01:05.400 --> 00:01:10.240 third and final phase, which is just last year single community, and then that's where 15 00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:13.560 they'll be for the rest of the time that they are connected to us. 16 00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:18.560 Hopefully that's where they will get to put into practice everything they've learned, 17 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:21.080 get into a relationship, engagement, a marriage. 18 00:01:21.080 --> 00:01:24.960 I know that you guys know this, but we've had over 1,600 people get engaged or married 19 00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:30.160 in this program so far in the last four years, and so we do a lot of supernatural work here. 20 00:01:30.160 --> 00:01:34.760 Now, the guys, we let you guys come in in a less linear fashion. 21 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:39.260 You come in, you have access to everything that I'm talking about via your app. 22 00:01:39.260 --> 00:01:46.600 It's in your course material in the men-only app, a group on the app, but you get to kind 23 00:01:46.600 --> 00:01:51.200 of do it, kind of create your own adventure. 24 00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:58.080 You get to do it as you want to, and then you have these Monday men coaching calls that 25 00:01:58.080 --> 00:02:05.320 are supposed to be digging deeper into phase one and phase two, so heart work for men and 26 00:02:05.320 --> 00:02:10.160 also the different things that we cover in phase two in the dating, coaching, love story 27 00:02:10.160 --> 00:02:11.160 accelerator. 28 00:02:11.160 --> 00:02:13.440 Okay, so that's what these Monday calls are about. 29 00:02:13.440 --> 00:02:18.000 The ladies have Monday and Tuesday calls with two different coaches, and then you guys 30 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:20.840 also have, obviously, everything in phase three. 31 00:02:20.840 --> 00:02:25.600 The women have to wait until they graduate from phase one and two in order to be in the 32 00:02:25.600 --> 00:02:28.340 community part of our program. 33 00:02:28.340 --> 00:02:29.340 You guys don't. 34 00:02:29.340 --> 00:02:32.840 You get to be in the community part at the same time that you're doing heart work, at 35 00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:35.560 the same time that you're doing your dating coaching. 36 00:02:35.560 --> 00:02:39.640 I don't know if that's a good idea or a bad idea, but it is just the way it is, and part 37 00:02:39.640 --> 00:02:45.800 of the reason why is because we just saw very early on that men really didn't want 38 00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:51.760 to do things linearly, like they wanted to kind of do it together at the same time where 39 00:02:51.760 --> 00:03:00.120 they were putting into practical use the information that they were learning in phase one and two, 40 00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:06.960 so they were kind of learning as they go and having experiences that were helping them 41 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:11.720 to activate the material, if that makes sense. 42 00:03:11.720 --> 00:03:17.320 So for those of you that are new, in your app, your last year single app in the men's 43 00:03:17.320 --> 00:03:23.040 group where you guys are in your course material, you have both phase one, the heart work, and 44 00:03:23.040 --> 00:03:25.200 phase two, the love story accelerator. 45 00:03:25.200 --> 00:03:30.120 You have all of those materials, and then you have a calendar that includes all of the 46 00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:33.120 events that are in phase three as well. 47 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:35.240 So I think we have a single spotlight this week. 48 00:03:35.240 --> 00:03:38.560 By the way, if there are any guys that want to volunteer for the single spotlight, I need 49 00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:40.200 some volunteers. 50 00:03:40.200 --> 00:03:47.400 That is our live session that we have for phase three once a month where we let people 51 00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:49.880 introduce themselves to the community. 52 00:03:49.880 --> 00:03:51.680 I do a little Q&A with you. 53 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:52.680 It's really fun. 54 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:53.680 It's not scary. 55 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:59.920 It's not intimidating, and then we allow people to email in if they want an introduction to 56 00:03:59.920 --> 00:04:01.160 you. 57 00:04:01.160 --> 00:04:06.480 So we've had quite a few people get married from the single spotlights, actually, so it's 58 00:04:06.480 --> 00:04:07.480 a good time. 59 00:04:07.480 --> 00:04:08.480 All right. 60 00:04:08.480 --> 00:04:17.320 So of the four of you that are here, where are you in the material? 61 00:04:17.320 --> 00:04:18.959 What are you working on? 62 00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:23.440 And how relationship ready would you consider yourself on a scale of one to 10? 63 00:04:23.440 --> 00:04:24.440 So where are you in the material? 64 00:04:24.440 --> 00:04:25.760 What are you working on? 65 00:04:25.760 --> 00:04:28.560 Okay, what's God talking to you about? 66 00:04:28.640 --> 00:04:36.320 On a scale of one to 10, 10 being very marriage-minded, feel ready, not perfect, but feel ready. 67 00:04:36.320 --> 00:04:44.960 And then one being not ready at all, still need to really just stay out of proximity 68 00:04:44.960 --> 00:04:47.200 to the women and into hard work. 69 00:04:47.200 --> 00:04:49.040 That would be a one. 70 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:51.320 And then of course, the spectrum of one to 10. 71 00:04:51.320 --> 00:04:54.000 So we'll just start here and go clockwise. 72 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:55.000 Joel? 73 00:04:55.000 --> 00:05:00.000 Yeah, so I mean, 74 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:06.480 I would say that I'm, you know, probably a nine, I think. 75 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:15.240 I mean, I just did another dating community program, the Heart of Dating, the School of 76 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:16.240 Dating. 77 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:23.760 So I did some, they went through some attachment style stuff and like core wounds and things 78 00:05:23.760 --> 00:05:25.160 like that. 79 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:28.880 So I feel pretty ready on that front. 80 00:05:28.880 --> 00:05:39.840 I'm got, I've gone through the first, let's see, I think I just finished the week two. 81 00:05:39.840 --> 00:05:45.440 I was going a little bit faster through it because I had been through the attachment 82 00:05:45.440 --> 00:05:51.080 style stuff and the core wound stuff with the School of Dating. 83 00:05:51.080 --> 00:05:54.800 So that's where I am going through with that right now. 84 00:05:54.800 --> 00:06:03.720 But I, I mean, I really appreciate, you know, listening to the content, the emphasis on 85 00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:10.240 the spiritual aspect of things, you know, especially like stuff about the dreams and 86 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:15.200 the emphasis you guys have on, you know, the sort of spirit led community and the prophecy 87 00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:17.680 and things like that. 88 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:25.440 Because I feel like that's sort of an area that the Lord is leading me to. 89 00:06:25.440 --> 00:06:30.640 I mean, I've been a believer all of my life, as long as I can remember. 90 00:06:30.640 --> 00:06:36.640 But I think that that's something that the Lord is drawing me closer to and being able 91 00:06:36.640 --> 00:06:40.360 to listen to him more, more clearly and hear him better. 92 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:44.000 So I think that's kind of where I'm at. 93 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.440 Does that answer the questions? 94 00:06:45.440 --> 00:06:46.760 Yeah, no. 95 00:06:46.760 --> 00:06:47.760 Awesome. 96 00:06:47.760 --> 00:06:55.640 So you feel like you're in an area where God is really inviting you into learning his voice, 97 00:06:55.640 --> 00:06:59.800 learning how he's communicating with you, hearing him more, taking action on what you're 98 00:06:59.800 --> 00:07:02.120 hearing. 99 00:07:02.120 --> 00:07:03.320 That's awesome. 100 00:07:03.320 --> 00:07:06.160 And then I think that it's great, guys. 101 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:11.600 I just want to let all of you know, because I do have guys in this group that have been 102 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:15.280 in this group for a long time and they still don't feel like they're at a nine or a ten. 103 00:07:15.280 --> 00:07:19.720 So I appreciate Joel's coming in saying, hey, I feel like I've done enough work. 104 00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:20.720 I'm very marriage minded. 105 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:27.520 I feel like I've done enough work to go ahead and, you know, get my feet wet in the pool. 106 00:07:27.520 --> 00:07:34.920 Because you guys, nothing is going to bring out where you need more work, more than relationship. 107 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:36.480 And of course, we're here to support that. 108 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:37.760 We're here to help you through that. 109 00:07:37.760 --> 00:07:39.960 When it happens, it's going to happen to everybody. 110 00:07:39.960 --> 00:07:41.120 There is no one here. 111 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:42.240 There's no one in our program. 112 00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:48.680 There's no one on the face of the earth that isn't going to be stretched by a relationship 113 00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:52.760 that doesn't, you know, have areas where they need to still do some work. 114 00:07:52.760 --> 00:07:53.920 And that's what marriage looks like. 115 00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:58.640 Marriage looks like you're signing up for a lifetime together of helping each other 116 00:07:58.640 --> 00:08:00.640 become the best versions of yourself. 117 00:08:00.640 --> 00:08:01.640 Right? 118 00:08:01.640 --> 00:08:04.320 It's a sanctification process, marriages. 119 00:08:04.320 --> 00:08:05.320 It will change you. 120 00:08:05.320 --> 00:08:06.520 It's supposed to. 121 00:08:06.520 --> 00:08:12.240 And so now it's not supposed to be abusive and, you know, it's not supposed to be the 122 00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:16.600 wrong kind of hard, but it is going to be hard. 123 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:18.480 Marriage is going to be hard, but it's going to be the right kind of hard. 124 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:21.680 It's going to be the kind of hard that makes you a better man. 125 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:22.680 Okay. 126 00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:25.800 A more Christlike man. 127 00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:27.600 And that is what's going to happen there. 128 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:28.880 So Joel, I love that. 129 00:08:28.880 --> 00:08:32.600 You know, if you're available tomorrow night, someone check the calendar real quick, but 130 00:08:32.600 --> 00:08:33.600 I'm pretty sure. 131 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:38.520 Cause I'm just totally thrown off by the fact that this is a Monday because it doesn't feel 132 00:08:38.520 --> 00:08:44.360 like a Monday, but I'm pretty sure that single spotlight is on a Tuesday this, this month 133 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:47.800 and it's tomorrow. 134 00:08:47.800 --> 00:08:48.800 Does anyone see that? 135 00:08:48.800 --> 00:08:55.880 Hey Jackie, I see single spotlights on the 29th, Thursday. 136 00:08:55.880 --> 00:08:56.880 So it's next week. 137 00:08:56.880 --> 00:08:57.880 No, just two days from now. 138 00:08:57.880 --> 00:08:58.880 It's Thursday. 139 00:08:58.880 --> 00:08:59.880 Oh wait. 140 00:08:59.880 --> 00:09:00.880 Yeah. 141 00:09:00.880 --> 00:09:01.880 Okay. 142 00:09:02.160 --> 00:09:03.160 Today's the 26th. 143 00:09:03.160 --> 00:09:04.160 Okay. 144 00:09:04.160 --> 00:09:05.160 All right. 145 00:09:05.160 --> 00:09:06.160 So Thursday of this week. 146 00:09:06.160 --> 00:09:07.160 So Joel, think about that. 147 00:09:07.160 --> 00:09:12.440 If you're ready to jump into that, I think that could be a good next step for you. 148 00:09:12.440 --> 00:09:15.760 Um, and I kind of explained, do you know what that looks like? 149 00:09:15.760 --> 00:09:22.360 It's just a really fun session where we just spotlight some singles from our community 150 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:24.040 and we try to make some introductions. 151 00:09:24.040 --> 00:09:25.040 All right. 152 00:09:25.040 --> 00:09:28.800 So David, you're a David, give us an update on you. 153 00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:34.480 Where are you on that scale of one to 10 and what are you working on right now? 154 00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:39.560 Um, I've basically gone through most of the material. 155 00:09:39.560 --> 00:09:44.800 I should probably finish like the final couple of chapters of the book is where I'm at. 156 00:09:44.800 --> 00:09:48.480 Um, I tend to be hard on myself, but I don't know. 157 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:52.680 I think I'm at a four or five because I'm still struggling with some basic things after 158 00:09:52.680 --> 00:09:55.600 the fallout of my last situationship. 159 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:58.520 So, um, it's kind of complex. 160 00:09:58.520 --> 00:10:00.320 I don't know if it's really appropriate. 161 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.440 go into all the details of that here now. 162 00:10:02.440 --> 00:10:03.280 But. 163 00:10:04.280 --> 00:10:05.880 Okay. 164 00:10:05.880 --> 00:10:07.560 So, I mean, there's just one aspect 165 00:10:07.560 --> 00:10:08.380 I'm really struggling with. 166 00:10:08.380 --> 00:10:09.220 So if it, 167 00:10:10.520 --> 00:10:11.720 I guess just a side question, 168 00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:13.960 would it be a good thing to set up, 169 00:10:13.960 --> 00:10:16.960 just at the time to talk to somebody about it, 170 00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:19.880 just to get another perspective on it? 171 00:10:19.880 --> 00:10:23.280 Because I think I'm blocked on how I see it, 172 00:10:23.280 --> 00:10:25.760 and it's really kind of holding me up. 173 00:10:25.760 --> 00:10:29.120 So, everything that went down, 174 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:31.000 because, I mean, no one's perfect, 175 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:33.800 and I'm not looking to blame shift things 176 00:10:33.800 --> 00:10:36.880 that I did onto other people, obviously. 177 00:10:36.880 --> 00:10:40.240 You know, I wanna be healthy about it, but yeah. 178 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:42.640 No, yeah, you definitely can do that. 179 00:10:42.640 --> 00:10:46.760 Just email into admin at JackieDorman.com, 180 00:10:46.760 --> 00:10:51.120 and we'll set that up so that you can get, 181 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:55.240 you know, an objective opinion from a coach 182 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:58.440 about, you know, what should be next steps there. 183 00:10:58.440 --> 00:11:01.600 So, how long ago did this situationship end? 184 00:11:04.840 --> 00:11:08.320 It'll be a year on Thursday, 185 00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:10.080 which is the spotlight night. 186 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:13.440 It'll be a year the last time I responded back to them. 187 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:14.280 Then I basically- 188 00:11:14.280 --> 00:11:15.680 Okay, well, we definitely don't want 189 00:11:15.680 --> 00:11:17.840 to get you stuck any longer than that. 190 00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:19.600 A year's a long time. 191 00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:21.880 Do you feel like you've learned some things from that, 192 00:11:21.880 --> 00:11:23.560 or do you feel like that's why you need 193 00:11:23.560 --> 00:11:25.120 to have the conversation? 194 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:26.680 Because you're not really sure. 195 00:11:27.640 --> 00:11:28.800 I've learned a lot of things, 196 00:11:28.800 --> 00:11:31.120 but I'm hung up on the fact, unfortunately, 197 00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:36.280 someone that I respected that was a spiritual leader 198 00:11:36.280 --> 00:11:38.560 got all caught up in this mess. 199 00:11:38.560 --> 00:11:43.560 And I guess the simple short answer 200 00:11:43.560 --> 00:11:46.000 is they had a similar blind spot to I did 201 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:48.040 because of unhealed things in their life. 202 00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:51.760 So, that's what I need to talk about, 203 00:11:51.760 --> 00:11:53.200 just to keep it real simple. 204 00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:55.080 Okay, okay. 205 00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:55.920 Yeah. 206 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:58.680 So, based on what you're saying right now, 207 00:11:58.680 --> 00:12:02.200 where do you think you're at on that one to 10 scale? 208 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:04.240 Like a four or five. 209 00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:06.440 I'm not really comfortable. 210 00:12:06.440 --> 00:12:08.400 I really want to be spotlighted this month, 211 00:12:08.400 --> 00:12:09.680 but I'm not really comfortable 212 00:12:09.680 --> 00:12:11.280 unless I'm at least at a six. 213 00:12:12.360 --> 00:12:13.600 I don't think it's fair to me 214 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.000 or to any woman that would want to reach out to me. 215 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:19.320 Do you feel like having some clarity, 216 00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:21.960 like a clarifying conversation with a coach 217 00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:25.320 about this past relationship that ended a year ago 218 00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:29.360 would kind of boost you up higher? 219 00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:32.720 Yeah, yeah, I think it would help a lot. 220 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:37.160 All right, well, go ahead and send that email ASAP 221 00:12:37.160 --> 00:12:38.000 as soon as you can, 222 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:40.480 and let's see what we can make happen, okay? 223 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:42.320 It says at JackieDorman.com, 224 00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:43.440 but what'd you say before that? 225 00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:46.040 It clipped out when you said it before. 226 00:12:46.040 --> 00:12:50.680 Admin, A-D-M-I-N, admin at JackieDorman.com. 227 00:12:50.680 --> 00:12:52.520 Should I address it to anybody specifically 228 00:12:52.520 --> 00:12:55.080 or just say who I am and what I'm- 229 00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:56.880 Yeah, just say who you are 230 00:12:56.880 --> 00:13:01.600 and that I sent you to get a discovery call with a coach. 231 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:03.080 Okay, okay, thank you. 232 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:06.680 All right, so we're just going clockwise. 233 00:13:06.680 --> 00:13:08.640 So, Stephen, you're next on my screen. 234 00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:17.680 Jackie, I started last year, single in October last year, 235 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:23.840 and I met a lady in New Zealand 236 00:13:23.840 --> 00:13:26.680 and she introduced me to last year's singles. 237 00:13:26.680 --> 00:13:31.280 So we knew each other two months 238 00:13:31.280 --> 00:13:34.360 and then started dating exclusively. 239 00:13:34.360 --> 00:13:37.800 And so we will start Simba's hopefully, 240 00:13:37.800 --> 00:13:39.680 I think it's tomorrow. 241 00:13:39.680 --> 00:13:41.720 Oh yeah, you will, that's awesome. 242 00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:43.600 Yes, very excited about that. 243 00:13:44.520 --> 00:13:47.800 Okay, so you guys are very marriage-minded, obviously. 244 00:13:47.800 --> 00:13:50.400 And you guys have been dating, 245 00:13:50.400 --> 00:13:51.840 you've been dating since October 246 00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:54.760 and exclusive since December, is that right? 247 00:13:54.760 --> 00:13:55.920 That's correct, yes. 248 00:13:55.920 --> 00:13:57.720 Okay, wonderful. 249 00:13:57.720 --> 00:14:00.000 No, no, sorry, sorry, that's wrong. 250 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:00.840 Okay. 251 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:04.360 Mid October to November, December, 252 00:14:05.560 --> 00:14:08.800 we actually only started dating exclusively in February. 253 00:14:08.800 --> 00:14:11.480 So that's four months, four months dating, 254 00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:14.760 knew each other for a little bit longer than that, yeah. 255 00:14:14.760 --> 00:14:16.400 All right, this is awesome, wonderful. 256 00:14:16.400 --> 00:14:18.680 Well, we're gonna be glad to have you 257 00:14:18.680 --> 00:14:21.720 and the Simba's coaches for this go-around 258 00:14:22.560 --> 00:14:23.920 are Joe and Shelby Seeley, 259 00:14:23.920 --> 00:14:27.080 and they've been married for 29 years. 260 00:14:27.080 --> 00:14:29.000 They're some of our Simba's coaches 261 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:31.280 and you guys are gonna have a great time. 262 00:14:31.280 --> 00:14:32.360 Thanks. 263 00:14:32.360 --> 00:14:33.200 Awesome. 264 00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:34.040 We're looking forward to that. 265 00:14:34.040 --> 00:14:36.360 Yes, it's gonna be awesome. 266 00:14:36.360 --> 00:14:37.680 Mike, give us an update. 267 00:14:37.680 --> 00:14:38.520 Where are you? 268 00:14:38.520 --> 00:14:39.360 What's up? 269 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:44.600 Where are you in the process? 270 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:45.960 Where am I in the process? 271 00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:48.560 Well, I would have said I'm at a nine or a 10. 272 00:14:48.560 --> 00:14:50.960 Well, there's just no opportunity, 273 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:53.600 but it's been a rough couple months. 274 00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:56.760 So I don't know if I'm resilient enough 275 00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:59.560 to jump into a relationship at the moment, but. 276 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.200 I've had a lot of transition lately. 277 00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:04.200 Yeah. 278 00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:10.760 Well, that and I'm in a really toxic work environment that's just been wearing me out. 279 00:15:10.760 --> 00:15:16.960 I lost my cool this week and that never happens and it's like time to move. 280 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:21.020 But then the Lord, you know, I shared this on Sunday. 281 00:15:21.020 --> 00:15:23.920 So I was supposed to be interviewing for Apple last December. 282 00:15:23.920 --> 00:15:26.760 I've been waiting for two years to get in there. 283 00:15:26.760 --> 00:15:29.760 And I felt like I was supposed to be in there and then it didn't work. 284 00:15:29.760 --> 00:15:34.080 And so I've been a little disappointed, disappointed, discouraged, whatever. 285 00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:39.480 And then randomly, I went to Kohl's to return something from Amazon this week. 286 00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:43.080 And I ran into somebody I used to work, work with. 287 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:46.800 And I'm like, Hey, I look because, you know, any shops that are hiring because we're, you 288 00:15:46.800 --> 00:15:48.800 know, he's like, well, why don't you go work for Apple? 289 00:15:48.800 --> 00:15:51.440 I'm like, I've been trying to get into Apple for a year and a half. 290 00:15:51.440 --> 00:15:53.880 He's like, well, they got a position open right now. 291 00:15:53.880 --> 00:15:57.400 And so I actually have a friend who is a manager at Apple. 292 00:15:57.400 --> 00:16:04.160 And so I applied and I'm just and I'm overly ridiculously overqualified for the position. 293 00:16:04.160 --> 00:16:07.020 So I'm just hoping to get that. 294 00:16:07.020 --> 00:16:13.760 So no, it's just been a lot like I'm living in transition and just waiting for the promises 295 00:16:13.760 --> 00:16:14.760 to come. 296 00:16:14.760 --> 00:16:18.960 So, you know, there is a gal that I think is coming back around. 297 00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:21.000 We'll see how that works. 298 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:25.560 And whether I want that, but I pursued everybody that's around, but there's not very many people 299 00:16:25.560 --> 00:16:34.400 around in my age group or life's life, um, whatever stage that was word. 300 00:16:34.400 --> 00:16:42.000 So, well, no, well, you know, with the Apple job, I was kind of like, don't despise small 301 00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:43.000 beginning. 302 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:46.640 Is this possible that getting your foot in the door working for the company, you know, 303 00:16:46.640 --> 00:16:52.920 because a lot of companies, you know, they post from within, they try to hire from within 304 00:16:52.920 --> 00:16:56.280 before they put the job posting to the public, you know? 305 00:16:56.280 --> 00:16:57.280 Yeah. 306 00:16:57.280 --> 00:17:02.520 Well, and they only have five, 5,000 people, they have a 5,000 person cap for the Bay Area. 307 00:17:02.520 --> 00:17:07.839 So until somebody leaves, they don't backfill, they're not, they're not hiring. 308 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:12.480 So, um, so now I, I'm, I'm well, I'm well aware of all that stuff. 309 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:16.880 It's just like, Lord, when, and, um, I don't know, I've just had words and stuff that I 310 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:20.079 was like, well, I don't know, I can't stand on these anymore because they're just not 311 00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:21.079 working. 312 00:17:21.079 --> 00:17:22.079 And that's it. 313 00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:24.359 And I would encourage, you know, I said this Sunday night, if you guys were there, but 314 00:17:24.359 --> 00:17:30.000 like, you know, it is very, the position that I'm applying for that opened up is completely 315 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:32.220 different than what I've been looking for. 316 00:17:32.220 --> 00:17:37.280 But yet it's actually at the spaceship, the spaceship in Cupertino, where that they built. 317 00:17:37.280 --> 00:17:38.480 And that's where I wanted to be. 318 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.720 And so it's actually where I wanted to be, though. 319 00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:41.720 It's very different. 320 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:46.820 And so sometimes it doesn't look the same as you think it's going to, and I'm expecting 321 00:17:46.820 --> 00:17:47.820 to get it. 322 00:17:47.820 --> 00:17:52.620 But at the same time, I'm like, you know, Lord, I just trust it in whatever he has. 323 00:17:52.620 --> 00:17:54.660 So so that's where I'm at. 324 00:17:54.660 --> 00:17:57.620 I'd say an eight and a half. 325 00:17:57.620 --> 00:18:02.380 I mean, if somebody if I come across somebody tomorrow, I'm not gonna not jump because I'm 326 00:18:02.380 --> 00:18:03.380 not. 327 00:18:03.380 --> 00:18:05.540 Yeah, I'm not in that place. 328 00:18:05.540 --> 00:18:09.300 I just would prefer to be in a clear headspace. 329 00:18:09.300 --> 00:18:11.300 Well, here's the thing. 330 00:18:11.300 --> 00:18:17.340 We all we would all prefer to have it, you know, our ducks, so to speak in a row in life. 331 00:18:17.860 --> 00:18:20.260 But that's not what life is like. 332 00:18:20.260 --> 00:18:25.340 And you guys obviously know my husband, David, and he's one of your coaches. 333 00:18:25.340 --> 00:18:31.460 And I will tell you that he was in a very similar season of life as Mike is in right 334 00:18:31.460 --> 00:18:33.540 now when I met him. 335 00:18:33.540 --> 00:18:36.340 When he moved next door to me, we became neighbors. 336 00:18:36.340 --> 00:18:41.820 He was only moving next door because he had his house foreclosed on because of a divorce. 337 00:18:41.820 --> 00:18:43.060 So he got divorced. 338 00:18:43.060 --> 00:18:44.300 His cars were repossessed. 339 00:18:44.300 --> 00:18:46.580 His house was foreclosed on because of the divorce. 340 00:18:46.820 --> 00:18:53.060 Him and his former wife had to file for bankruptcy because two incomes, yes, one income, no. 341 00:18:53.060 --> 00:18:56.860 And you know, had made a lot of silly financial decisions in their marriage that now those 342 00:18:56.860 --> 00:18:58.860 roosters were coming home to roost. 343 00:18:58.860 --> 00:19:03.340 And when he moved in next door to me, he was a thirty six year old single dad of two school 344 00:19:03.340 --> 00:19:06.780 age kids, nine and eleven years old. 345 00:19:06.780 --> 00:19:11.100 And he was working at a ministry job that he'd worked at for 13 years, making forty 346 00:19:11.100 --> 00:19:16.100 two thousand dollars a year with no health benefits and driving a car that he bought 347 00:19:16.100 --> 00:19:22.660 with cash that literally caught fire on the side of the road a couple of years later. 348 00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:27.460 So that kind of gives you an idea of what that car was like when I met him. 349 00:19:27.460 --> 00:19:29.420 So he wasn't at the top of his game. 350 00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:36.260 He had had way better seasons of life during his life than he was in when I met him. 351 00:19:36.260 --> 00:19:42.220 But I will tell you, a woman who really wants to partner with you, who's looking for, you 352 00:19:42.220 --> 00:19:52.860 know, who wants to stop at women, you guys need to hear this, this is really important. 353 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.000 versus the gift of prophecy. 354 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:07.040 Okay, anyone can have the spirit of prophecy 355 00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:07.960 come over them, right? 356 00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:09.800 But some people have the gift of prophecy. 357 00:20:09.800 --> 00:20:11.480 Men, of course, can have, you know, 358 00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:15.280 circumstantially a nurturing moment in their lives, 359 00:20:15.280 --> 00:20:17.680 but women have the gift of nurturing. 360 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:19.240 And when you see a woman who doesn't have it, 361 00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:21.200 it's because she's at odds with her design 362 00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:22.880 and she has trauma. 363 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.720 But this gift in the feminine, 364 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:26.880 which is what we are, that God has given us, 365 00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:29.720 we actually can see what you can't see in you. 366 00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:33.040 And that's why it's so dangerous for women 367 00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:36.480 to end up with men who don't wanna change 368 00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.000 or are not submitted to God, 369 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:43.440 have not come under meekness, which is power under control. 370 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:45.560 That's why it's so dangerous for us to be with you guys 371 00:20:45.560 --> 00:20:46.800 or choose those men, 372 00:20:46.800 --> 00:20:50.040 because we will always see what you could be, 373 00:20:51.520 --> 00:20:53.040 but you will never do it. 374 00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:57.440 Because, you know, you're rebelling against authority 375 00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:00.200 or you have, you know, trauma that's created 376 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:03.720 some narcissistic or selfish tendencies or whatever it is. 377 00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:05.200 And so this is why so many women, 378 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:07.240 if you ever wonder why really good women, 379 00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:08.560 sweet women, beautiful women, 380 00:21:08.560 --> 00:21:11.680 why they end up with bad men that abuse them, this is why. 381 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:15.200 Because they have a gift that's overextended by trauma 382 00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:16.800 and now it's become a weakness. 383 00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:19.080 You guys get it? 384 00:21:20.040 --> 00:21:22.680 Okay, so I say all that to say this, 385 00:21:23.320 --> 00:21:25.160 that gift works really well with men 386 00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:28.160 who have surrendered their lives to Christ. 387 00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:32.240 Yeah, you're not perfect, but you're trying. 388 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:34.440 And we actually see the gold in you. 389 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:36.480 We see the God in you. 390 00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:38.280 We're able, do you know that the word nurture 391 00:21:38.280 --> 00:21:40.240 actually means the ability 392 00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:43.000 to help something reach its potential? 393 00:21:44.120 --> 00:21:45.920 That is what a wife will do for you. 394 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:47.640 That is what a good woman will do for you. 395 00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:49.600 She will help you reach your potential. 396 00:21:49.600 --> 00:21:51.000 And so I say all that to say this, 397 00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:54.440 please do not wait until you reach your potential 398 00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:57.760 in order to be at those higher numbers 399 00:21:57.760 --> 00:22:00.920 on the scale of marriage mindedness, eight, nine, 10. 400 00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.160 Because I propose to you 401 00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:05.560 that you cannot reach your full potential 402 00:22:05.560 --> 00:22:07.840 if you've been designed for marriage 403 00:22:07.840 --> 00:22:11.120 without the help of your spirit mate or your wife. 404 00:22:12.600 --> 00:22:16.640 So you're gonna constantly try to get to a place, 405 00:22:16.640 --> 00:22:19.520 to attain a place that you really can only get to 406 00:22:19.520 --> 00:22:20.360 with her help. 407 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:23.680 And so we don't wanna do that. 408 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:26.280 So Mike, eight and a half is good and fine. 409 00:22:26.280 --> 00:22:28.080 And I like you at eight and a half. 410 00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:31.600 And so Daniel, you're the last, 411 00:22:31.600 --> 00:22:32.960 you kind of switched positions. 412 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.960 So now you're over here, but that's fine. 413 00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:36.760 Where are you? 414 00:22:36.760 --> 00:22:38.840 One to 10, what are you working on? 415 00:22:38.840 --> 00:22:40.440 Yeah, I've been jumping around. 416 00:22:42.320 --> 00:22:45.160 So I actually logged in a few minutes late. 417 00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.720 Can you just tell me what the question was real fast? 418 00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:50.400 I'm assuming it's relational readiness 419 00:22:50.560 --> 00:22:51.680 or something like that. 420 00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:54.440 Yeah, the question is, where are you at 421 00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:55.840 as far as what you're working on? 422 00:22:55.840 --> 00:22:58.200 What is God talking to you about right now? 423 00:22:58.200 --> 00:23:00.200 And I was asking some of these newer guys 424 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:01.640 kind of where they are in the material, 425 00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:02.480 what they're working on. 426 00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:04.240 But you can tell me like, just, you know, 427 00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:06.200 what's God talking to you about? 428 00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:09.160 What are you working on as far as in your life, 429 00:23:09.160 --> 00:23:10.280 in your heart right now? 430 00:23:10.280 --> 00:23:12.080 And then on a scale of one to 10, 431 00:23:12.080 --> 00:23:16.160 10 being fully marriage minded, where are you? 432 00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:18.720 Yeah, okay. 433 00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:22.160 The, I think that the main thing I'm working on right now 434 00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:25.760 is single dad, single dad. 435 00:23:25.760 --> 00:23:27.840 I've got the kids half the time. 436 00:23:27.840 --> 00:23:31.600 So when I'm a dad, I am all in and I'm enjoying my kids. 437 00:23:31.600 --> 00:23:34.440 And I can honestly tell you that I have never enjoyed 438 00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:35.680 my kids more than I do right now. 439 00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:36.520 We're just having- 440 00:23:36.520 --> 00:23:37.800 That's awesome, I love it. 441 00:23:37.800 --> 00:23:39.200 Yeah, we're having so much fun. 442 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:42.240 And so that's like, that is the focus right there. 443 00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:45.040 And then when I'm single, I'm single as a pringle right now. 444 00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:47.960 So, you know, I took a little bit of a break. 445 00:23:49.280 --> 00:23:51.840 And now, yeah, now I'm, you know, 446 00:23:51.840 --> 00:23:54.840 I jumped right back in a few weeks ago 447 00:23:54.840 --> 00:23:56.720 and got on the dating apps. 448 00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.280 And, you know, my main thing was to just kind of connect 449 00:24:00.280 --> 00:24:04.720 and date and kind of refine my preferences. 450 00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:06.560 I did have a little bit of a plot twist 451 00:24:06.560 --> 00:24:07.960 about two weeks ago. 452 00:24:08.920 --> 00:24:10.440 Yeah, about two weeks ago. 453 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:14.680 And without telling, to make a long story short, 454 00:24:15.840 --> 00:24:19.800 there's a woman that I've known for 20 years 455 00:24:19.800 --> 00:24:23.800 and we've always been each other's kind of what if. 456 00:24:24.760 --> 00:24:28.080 And I reached out to her on her birthday. 457 00:24:28.080 --> 00:24:30.560 We chatted, I found out she was single. 458 00:24:30.560 --> 00:24:35.560 I shot my shot and things are moving pretty quickly now. 459 00:24:36.360 --> 00:24:37.200 So- 460 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:38.560 Is she local? 461 00:24:38.600 --> 00:24:42.200 No, I'm in Oregon and she's in Florida. 462 00:24:42.200 --> 00:24:45.680 And she knows that she would need to move. 463 00:24:46.840 --> 00:24:48.560 And I know that like, 464 00:24:49.760 --> 00:24:52.680 she's gonna be the child that takes care of her parents 465 00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:54.240 and they're in Florida. 466 00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.040 And so we're having some logistics conversations 467 00:24:57.040 --> 00:24:58.200 at the moment. 468 00:24:58.200 --> 00:24:59.440 How old are her parents? 469 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.280 her parents, I think they're in their late 60s, maybe early 70s. Are they good? Are they in good 470 00:25:05.280 --> 00:25:12.400 health? Yeah, they're in good health. They're slowing down a little bit. And she wants to get 471 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:19.280 as much time with them as she can. But she knows that I, you know, I have a co-parenting obligation 472 00:25:19.280 --> 00:25:26.480 here. And I can't relocate for another eight years at the soonest. So we're talking about, 473 00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:32.080 you know, we're just, we're having some conversations. Yeah. And yeah, and we're 474 00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:36.240 going to do a visit this summer and see if the in-person connection is still there. 475 00:25:37.360 --> 00:25:42.640 Okay. Yeah. Let's be really careful with that one because I like the full circle. You guys 476 00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:48.640 know that that was a word that God gave me for our community for 2025, that people would have 477 00:25:49.280 --> 00:25:54.960 full circle moments with business, with careers, with opportunities, and also for some people with 478 00:25:54.960 --> 00:26:01.360 love stories. And so that fits this kind of the, what if the one that got away, the possibility, 479 00:26:01.360 --> 00:26:10.080 all the things, but at the same time, you know, someone who feels really obligated and kind of, 480 00:26:10.080 --> 00:26:15.280 it's like honor based to be taking care of their parent. Even though the parents don't 481 00:26:15.280 --> 00:26:24.400 need taking care of right now, but also like you said, most adult, most adults that live away from 482 00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:29.280 their parents only see their parents once, maybe twice a year. And when you have parents that are 483 00:26:29.280 --> 00:26:32.720 elderly, that means that you might see them like 10 more times before they pass away. 484 00:26:33.600 --> 00:26:38.960 You know, that's terrible when you think about it, you know? And so I'm sure that 485 00:26:41.360 --> 00:26:44.720 blood is thicker than water. So it's really important that you understand with people that 486 00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:49.680 have those types of loyalty issues that we don't want to get too emotionally involved. You said, 487 00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:56.960 you guys have been talking. Let's make sure that we are not talking a lot, like for hours at a time 488 00:26:56.960 --> 00:27:03.200 and listening to each other breathe and thinking we're falling in love, okay, with someone who 489 00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:09.840 practically may never be able to live in our zip code. I see that happen a lot of times, 490 00:27:09.840 --> 00:27:14.320 especially when there's familiarity. So you already have a lot of familiarity. 491 00:27:14.320 --> 00:27:20.080 Guys already have kind of romanticized version of each other because of, like you said, the what if. 492 00:27:20.080 --> 00:27:26.080 And so just make sure that you're, you know, you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders, 493 00:27:26.080 --> 00:27:32.800 but don't underestimate the infatuation of a long distance old flame. 494 00:27:34.800 --> 00:27:40.240 Right. And that's been one of the things I keep telling myself is, you know, let me take this 495 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:44.880 idealized image off the pedestal. Her name is Jackie, by the way. 496 00:27:45.840 --> 00:27:50.480 Oh, wow. See, this is it. She's the one. 497 00:27:54.560 --> 00:27:59.600 Let me make sure she's not up on this pedestal. And there's just this, like you said, romanticized, 498 00:27:59.600 --> 00:28:05.200 idealized version that doesn't match reality. And so I am trying to pay very close attention to 499 00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:13.280 how she talks to other people, like her family and stuff. And, yeah, I'm trying to pump the 500 00:28:13.280 --> 00:28:19.280 brakes as much as I can. So, yeah. And make sure that it doesn't keep you from meeting local people. 501 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:29.440 Right. Right. OK. All right. I'm actually I'm going to pause. I think this is worth pausing 502 00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:34.080 the local dating for now. I can still get out with friends and do all the cool hikes and stuff. 503 00:28:35.360 --> 00:28:40.640 But I am. Interested in this and seeing where this goes. 504 00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:43.040 Wait, when are you guys seeing each other in person? 505 00:28:44.320 --> 00:28:49.440 I'm about three weeks this summer. The summer could be when I mean, what's that mean? 506 00:28:50.080 --> 00:28:56.160 About three weeks. OK, three weeks. OK. And so after three weeks, when you're going to Florida, 507 00:28:56.160 --> 00:29:02.240 she's coming to Oregon. She's coming to Oregon. OK. In three weeks, plane ticket already bought. 508 00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:08.000 Yes. OK. In three weeks when she comes, then you're going to make some decisions. 509 00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:15.760 Yeah, we're going to make some decisions. Yep. All right. All right. Three weeks. Pause. I can 510 00:29:15.760 --> 00:29:21.440 get on board with that. But got it. Got to make some decisions after you guys are in person. 511 00:29:22.320 --> 00:29:26.880 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. OK. And you guys, for all of you that don't know the rules around 512 00:29:27.840 --> 00:29:34.480 long distance dating, the boundaries, I should say, the guidelines, it is about really getting 513 00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:39.360 in person as fast as possible to see if there really is something here, because people have 514 00:29:39.360 --> 00:29:45.040 a tendency to become very emotionally attached long distance if there's any type of conversational 515 00:29:45.040 --> 00:29:51.120 chemistry. So if you like the way the person looks on the video and you like talking to them, 516 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:54.720 you're looking forward to seeing them. You're having this relationship with them. You're 517 00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:59.200 looking forward to seeing them on the FaceTime. And you're spending all these 518 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.880 hours talking and just really connecting and vibing, but then you get in person and it's just not the same. 519 00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:10.880 See, that's different for Daniel because he already knows this woman. She's a known 520 00:30:11.560 --> 00:30:13.400 quantity to him, right? 521 00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:14.560 But 522 00:30:14.560 --> 00:30:17.280 she also has some moving pieces in her life right now. 523 00:30:17.280 --> 00:30:24.680 She might be single, but she's not really unattached because she has a family that she has responsibilities in her own heart towards and 524 00:30:25.800 --> 00:30:27.800 she has a very, 525 00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:32.200 probably a very specific view of what her future was going to look like 526 00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:35.240 as far as her family and all the different things. 527 00:30:35.240 --> 00:30:42.320 And so that will need to be overcome. It can be overcome, but with long-distance we get in person as quick as we can 528 00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:47.440 before we end up in a situation ship emotionally with someone who 529 00:30:48.320 --> 00:30:52.680 there's just no possibility of it becoming a reality in person, okay? 530 00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:58.800 And or we get in person and we just don't even feel the same way about them as we did when we were talking to 531 00:30:58.800 --> 00:31:03.640 them online. And so three weeks to a month longest time 532 00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.840 talking before you can get in person. Someone's gonna have to get in person. 533 00:31:07.840 --> 00:31:12.600 And I feel like also it's important for us to talk about the fact that long-distance, 534 00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:19.840 while there are definitely wise boundaries and guidelines to conversations in just 535 00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:26.040 personal face-to-face dating, like local dating, where you're not rushing things, 536 00:31:26.040 --> 00:31:31.000 you're not talking about deep things and preferences as far as children and 537 00:31:31.520 --> 00:31:34.720 living and this and that, with long-distance those 538 00:31:35.400 --> 00:31:39.040 conversations come up earlier and they need to. 539 00:31:39.760 --> 00:31:47.560 Because if, like, say Daniel has a shared parenting agreement in Oregon, if this chick had a shared parenting agreement in 540 00:31:47.560 --> 00:31:49.560 Florida, it's over, right? 541 00:31:50.520 --> 00:31:53.040 Can't be in a relationship because neither one of us can relocate. 542 00:31:53.040 --> 00:31:59.080 And so those things are important to get covered very early in those first several conversations 543 00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:06.120 because why would we even try to invest our time and our energy and our emotional bandwidth into a 544 00:32:06.360 --> 00:32:08.360 relationship that can't go anywhere? 545 00:32:08.800 --> 00:32:15.080 We're not gonna do that. All right, Daniel, we're rooting for you. I mean, her name's Jackie. I'm totally rooting for this. 546 00:32:15.080 --> 00:32:17.080 Is it Jacqueline or just Jackie? 547 00:32:18.080 --> 00:32:22.400 It's Jacqueline, but she goes by Jackie or Jax. 548 00:32:23.560 --> 00:32:26.200 Jax, that's my name that I use on my 549 00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:29.200 smoothie orders. 550 00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:31.880 Yeah, J-A-X, yep. 551 00:32:32.600 --> 00:32:38.200 Wait, that's really unusual because the only other person that I know that uses that is... 552 00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:41.640 Does she have friends in New York that are on Broadway? 553 00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:46.000 No, if she does I'd be stunned. 554 00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:54.360 That hasn't come up. Because I know it, I only know one other person that's Jackie but goes by Jax and 555 00:32:55.720 --> 00:32:56.840 she... 556 00:32:56.840 --> 00:33:02.960 My association with her is from my friends in media. So, okay, very interesting. All right. 557 00:33:03.320 --> 00:33:06.680 Okay, so guys, those are all really great updates and 558 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:14.560 most of you are saying, besides David, of course, who doesn't, isn't sure if he is, 559 00:33:15.080 --> 00:33:19.120 you know, gonna get up to those higher numbers of 560 00:33:20.040 --> 00:33:21.960 marriage-mindedness 561 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:24.720 until he has some more processing and that's fine. 562 00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:30.200 In fact, that's, I feel like that's really mature of you to want to process instead of just 563 00:33:30.840 --> 00:33:33.160 cannonballing into the deep end of the pool again. 564 00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:39.400 Let's not, let's not be cannonballing into the deep end of the pool before we know if there's water in it or not. 565 00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:41.400 So that's good. 566 00:33:41.800 --> 00:33:47.600 But everybody else is like eight or above and then Steven, of course, is in a marriage-minded relationship already. 567 00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:52.040 And so that's awesome guys. I love it. This is so good. So yes, we have 568 00:33:52.560 --> 00:33:54.400 spotlights this week. 569 00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:57.600 Joel for sure is going to be a spotlight, possibly David 570 00:33:58.280 --> 00:34:00.280 and then 571 00:34:00.280 --> 00:34:06.160 Mike already has done it. Daniel's already done it. Steven wouldn't do it, obviously, since he's in a relationship. 572 00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:10.239 So I need to get a few more guys to see if they're about that. 573 00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:13.080 All right, so we can just do a grab bag of questions, you guys. 574 00:34:13.080 --> 00:34:19.520 If you have anything that's on your heart, on your mind, anything that you'd like to ask me that I can help you process through, 575 00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.000 we can do that right now. 576 00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:24.880 Can I just run a quick thing about you? 577 00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:29.520 So I met this gal at a Randy Clark conference, right? 578 00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:32.920 Asked her out, got her number and then 579 00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:35.719 she was like, hey, I've been 580 00:34:37.159 --> 00:34:43.679 What's she called? The Lord is cocooning me. So I'm not able to date right now, which she didn't say at the gate. 581 00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:47.800 So I was like, okay, cool. I don't know what that is. I don't fully know it. 582 00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:50.239 I should have explored that a little better. But anyways, 583 00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:58.480 then it's been nothing since, but then I feel like the Lord's calling me to that very church. And so I'm just like 584 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.680 She showed interest, we became Facebook friends and then disappeared, right? 585 00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:11.480 And so in that, what do I, I mean, like, do I even entertain her anymore or do I just 586 00:35:11.480 --> 00:35:14.000 call it a day? 587 00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.400 Let me ask you a question. 588 00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:20.280 Was the, was the Randy Clark conference at the church that you're thinking about attending? 589 00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:21.280 Yeah. 590 00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:22.280 Yeah. 591 00:35:22.280 --> 00:35:23.280 Okay. 592 00:35:23.280 --> 00:35:24.280 Yeah. 593 00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:34.800 Um, one thing I think that would be probably, um, in my opinion would be, um, very gentlemanly 594 00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:43.560 of you is for you to let her know that because, you know, because you were talking and because 595 00:35:43.560 --> 00:35:49.880 she's in a sabbatical that she's taking from dating that you would just let her know, Hey, 596 00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:54.920 um, I just wanted to give you a heads up as a courtesy that, um, totally respecting 597 00:35:54.920 --> 00:35:56.160 your sabbatical. 598 00:35:56.160 --> 00:36:02.160 But I really feel like since the conference, God has really been inviting me to attend 599 00:36:02.160 --> 00:36:03.160 this church. 600 00:36:03.160 --> 00:36:04.160 It's her church, right? 601 00:36:04.160 --> 00:36:05.160 Yeah. 602 00:36:05.160 --> 00:36:06.160 Uh huh. 603 00:36:06.160 --> 00:36:07.160 Yeah. 604 00:36:07.160 --> 00:36:10.280 And just let her know that it doesn't have anything to do with her. 605 00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:11.280 Okay. 606 00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:12.280 Yeah. 607 00:36:12.280 --> 00:36:13.280 Cause my good friend is going to work there. 608 00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:17.920 Um, and so like, and we, we've been partnering in ministry for a long time. 609 00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:18.920 So, um, so cool. 610 00:36:18.960 --> 00:36:19.960 Yeah. 611 00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:20.960 Oh, that's a, that's a good point. 612 00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:21.960 That's a good point. 613 00:36:21.960 --> 00:36:22.960 I don't know. 614 00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:23.960 It's just as a courtesy. 615 00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:26.640 Just want to let you know that it doesn't have anything to do with you or, you know, 616 00:36:26.640 --> 00:36:27.640 disturbing your sabbatical. 617 00:36:27.640 --> 00:36:30.080 Totally respect that and then respect it. 618 00:36:30.080 --> 00:36:31.560 She put down a boundary. 619 00:36:31.560 --> 00:36:34.080 She said, Hey, God has me in a sabbatical. 620 00:36:34.080 --> 00:36:39.440 And so the next time after you saying, Hey, just as a courtesy, want to let you know, 621 00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:43.480 uh, then the ball's in her court that the next time you guys communicate because you're 622 00:36:43.480 --> 00:36:47.320 respecting her sabbatical, she would need to come to you. 623 00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:48.320 Yeah. 624 00:36:48.720 --> 00:36:49.720 There's no awkwardness. 625 00:36:49.720 --> 00:36:50.720 So that's good. 626 00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:51.720 I like that. 627 00:36:51.720 --> 00:36:52.720 Yeah. 628 00:36:52.720 --> 00:36:53.720 Thank you. 629 00:36:53.720 --> 00:36:54.720 Yeah. 630 00:36:54.720 --> 00:36:55.720 Yeah. 631 00:36:55.720 --> 00:36:57.840 She would need to come to you. 632 00:36:57.840 --> 00:36:58.840 You guys. 633 00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:03.320 I know that there's all this language about pursuing women, but we don't chase women that 634 00:37:03.320 --> 00:37:04.880 are running away. 635 00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:05.880 Okay. 636 00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:10.600 That's the word pursuit to me always brings up in my mind. 637 00:37:10.600 --> 00:37:13.360 Someone is running away and we're chasing them. 638 00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:14.680 And some women really like to be chased. 639 00:37:14.680 --> 00:37:16.240 I'm just going to tell you that right now. 640 00:37:16.240 --> 00:37:18.200 They like to be chased. 641 00:37:19.080 --> 00:37:20.080 They do. 642 00:37:20.080 --> 00:37:24.360 I know that a lot of times we talk about, um, men being the breadcrumbers and men being 643 00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:30.360 the avoidant attachments and men being the fill in the blank, whatever, you know, key 644 00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:33.480 word is that out there right now about men. 645 00:37:33.480 --> 00:37:37.400 Um, but a lot of times it's the women, let's just be honest, isn't it? 646 00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:41.520 It's the women that they're really not interested in something serious. 647 00:37:41.520 --> 00:37:46.600 They're just kind of, they're out for a good time, not a long time. 648 00:37:46.600 --> 00:37:48.180 And you know, they like to date. 649 00:37:48.180 --> 00:37:49.460 That's what they're doing. 650 00:37:49.460 --> 00:37:56.060 And there, I literally had a client who was basically waiting for the best offer. 651 00:37:56.060 --> 00:37:58.780 I'm not even kidding. 652 00:37:58.780 --> 00:38:05.420 She was now, she's not the majority of women, but there are women out there that will ditch 653 00:38:05.420 --> 00:38:12.900 you if something better comes along because they still see marriage as transactional. 654 00:38:12.900 --> 00:38:14.580 They see it as transactional. 655 00:38:14.580 --> 00:38:16.740 It's not about feelings. 656 00:38:16.740 --> 00:38:21.380 It's about a lifestyle that they want for themselves and their future offspring. 657 00:38:21.380 --> 00:38:25.540 And they're willing to sell themselves for it, so to speak. 658 00:38:25.540 --> 00:38:32.700 They're willing to, you know, um, what's the word, uh, dowry themselves for it because 659 00:38:32.700 --> 00:38:36.020 that's what they want. 660 00:38:36.020 --> 00:38:39.460 And once again, not the majority, but there are women like that. 661 00:38:39.460 --> 00:38:46.180 And so I don't, I think we do men a disservice when we act like men are the problem. 662 00:38:46.180 --> 00:38:49.500 You know, modern dating is the problem. 663 00:38:49.500 --> 00:38:52.860 This is not the way God designed us. 664 00:38:52.860 --> 00:38:53.860 Men are not the problem. 665 00:38:53.860 --> 00:38:55.140 Women are not the problem. 666 00:38:55.140 --> 00:39:02.460 But the curse is the problem and it's created this dichotomy, it's created this, this thing 667 00:39:02.460 --> 00:39:07.040 that is contradictory to even itself. 668 00:39:07.040 --> 00:39:11.660 And so it's important that we understand that we're not broken. 669 00:39:11.660 --> 00:39:13.260 Dating is broken. 670 00:39:14.260 --> 00:39:18.060 Cole, God didn't, God didn't make us like this. 671 00:39:18.060 --> 00:39:22.060 And I talk all about that in the new book I have that's releasing called Modern Dating 672 00:39:22.060 --> 00:39:23.060 Sucks. 673 00:39:23.060 --> 00:39:27.540 And, um, that's going to be coming into presale next month, you guys in June. 674 00:39:27.540 --> 00:39:30.460 But I just want to make sure you guys know that you're not broken. 675 00:39:30.460 --> 00:39:31.660 The system is broken. 676 00:39:31.660 --> 00:39:32.660 All right. 677 00:39:32.660 --> 00:39:33.660 It really is. 678 00:39:33.660 --> 00:39:34.660 Okay. 679 00:39:34.660 --> 00:39:36.860 So we're not going to chase women that are running away. 680 00:39:36.860 --> 00:39:39.220 If you meet a woman, let's just take Mike's example. 681 00:39:39.220 --> 00:39:41.980 For instance, who knows what the truth is about this chick? 682 00:39:41.980 --> 00:39:44.120 We don't know what the truth is about her. 683 00:39:44.120 --> 00:39:47.180 We don't know her, but she met him at a conference. 684 00:39:47.180 --> 00:39:48.500 She was cool to talk. 685 00:39:48.500 --> 00:39:53.740 She was cool to, you know, um, have some kind of connection. 686 00:39:53.740 --> 00:40:00.020 But then she used the, she played the God wants 687 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.700 me to stay single card. 688 00:40:01.700 --> 00:40:05.960 You guys, this card gets played so often, and I'm really not sure, you know, because 689 00:40:05.960 --> 00:40:06.960 I don't know her. 690 00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:14.160 I'm not going to judge her and say that it's not true, but I feel like spiritual people 691 00:40:14.160 --> 00:40:18.840 use this card way too much, like people that we meet in a spiritual context, like at a 692 00:40:18.840 --> 00:40:23.640 church service or at a conference, you know, they play the card of, you know, God says 693 00:40:23.640 --> 00:40:28.360 it's not the right time or God says that you're not the right one or God told me that I shouldn't 694 00:40:28.360 --> 00:40:30.200 be dating right now. 695 00:40:30.200 --> 00:40:34.860 God is putting me in a cocoon, telling me to take a sabbatical, you know, all different 696 00:40:34.860 --> 00:40:46.120 types of language, but it could really just be that they're just not interested. 697 00:40:46.120 --> 00:40:49.360 And I would much prefer that people didn't. 698 00:40:49.360 --> 00:40:53.320 It's kind of like the olden days when someone would come to your door and knock on your 699 00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:58.120 door to sell you something, and you'd say, oh, I'll have to ask my husband. 700 00:40:58.120 --> 00:40:59.120 He's not home. 701 00:40:59.120 --> 00:41:00.120 Right? 702 00:41:00.120 --> 00:41:04.120 You didn't have to ask your husband. 703 00:41:04.120 --> 00:41:07.440 You just didn't want to buy this thing, whatever it was. 704 00:41:07.440 --> 00:41:11.440 And so I feel like this is that type of cop out where we're blaming it on God all the 705 00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:12.440 time. 706 00:41:12.440 --> 00:41:15.760 Well, God said no, or I don't have a piece about it. 707 00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:22.680 And yeah, it could be avoided in an attachment, but it also could just be people who are people 708 00:41:23.040 --> 00:41:29.760 pleasers and they haven't learned how to have good boundaries because boundaries is just 709 00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:30.760 about identity. 710 00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:33.600 What you want, what you don't want, who you are, who you're not. 711 00:41:33.600 --> 00:41:40.440 I'd much rather hurt someone's feelings up front by saying, hey, I'm not really feeling, 712 00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:48.560 you know, a connection and I'm not interested in exploring it any further. 713 00:41:48.560 --> 00:41:49.880 What do you think is more kind? 714 00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:52.280 What do you think is more Christlike? 715 00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:59.000 Saying that even though that might sting a little or saying, oh, you know, God told 716 00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:03.280 me that I shouldn't be dating right now, but then the next week you see them on the dating 717 00:42:03.280 --> 00:42:08.280 app, you know? 718 00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:14.480 So I guess I'm saying that to say this, guys, when you're not interested and men usually 719 00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:17.880 know a lot quicker than women do. 720 00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:24.320 Men usually have a really good, and I think it's because you guys are the ones that are 721 00:42:24.320 --> 00:42:29.720 supposed to discover or find or the scales are supposed to fall off your eyes so you 722 00:42:29.720 --> 00:42:30.920 can see the wife. 723 00:42:30.920 --> 00:42:34.360 That's Proverbs 18, 22, which this group is based on. 724 00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:40.720 That word find is the word it really actually means for the scales to fall from your eyes. 725 00:42:40.720 --> 00:42:41.720 Okay. 726 00:42:41.720 --> 00:42:47.160 So I feel like men, especially if you're doing the work, they're going to know pretty quickly. 727 00:42:47.160 --> 00:42:52.000 And so I know you're not trying to hurt anybody's feelings, but it's actually going to hurt 728 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:58.120 her feelings a lot more if you lead her on. 729 00:42:58.120 --> 00:43:02.080 And since we're all in community together, especially women in this community, do not 730 00:43:02.080 --> 00:43:09.280 be afraid to just tell someone, hey, I really love being in this community with you. 731 00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:14.200 And you know, what a great place for us all to be in the same season together. 732 00:43:14.240 --> 00:43:21.400 But I'm not feeling, you know, an interest in getting to know you romantically. 733 00:43:21.400 --> 00:43:23.120 There's a million different ways that you can say this. 734 00:43:23.120 --> 00:43:27.040 And if you want me to make a list of them and post them in your group, I will if you 735 00:43:27.040 --> 00:43:30.800 guys need a little cheat sheet, but it's much better to rip the bandaid off from the very 736 00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:32.800 beginning. 737 00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:35.080 Okay. 738 00:43:35.080 --> 00:43:41.720 Now that being said, we do have a saying in our community, it's a yes until it's a no. 739 00:43:41.720 --> 00:43:45.360 Women usually use this saying a lot more than men do, because women are not really 740 00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:47.480 sure how they feel about you. 741 00:43:47.480 --> 00:43:48.480 They're not really sure. 742 00:43:48.480 --> 00:43:53.480 They might think you're cute or funny or nice, but they're not really sure how they feel 743 00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:56.120 about you until they get to know you better. 744 00:43:56.120 --> 00:44:03.440 And I wish more men would have the, you know, the ability to get to know someone in community 745 00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:10.720 better before just saying, no, I'm not interested or no, I'm not attracted. 746 00:44:10.720 --> 00:44:15.720 But once again, I know that men have a tendency to make that judgment pretty quickly, very, 747 00:44:15.720 --> 00:44:17.480 very fast, actually. 748 00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:26.160 Off a picture, off one conversation, off seeing them on a single spotlight talking, you know, 749 00:44:26.160 --> 00:44:31.600 they're very quick to just be like, nah, I'm not interested. 750 00:44:31.600 --> 00:44:40.160 So yeah, think about that because you might be missing out on something really good. 751 00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:43.120 A lot of times people don't make really good first impressions. 752 00:44:43.120 --> 00:44:48.400 And so allowing someone to grow on you a little bit would not be a bad idea. 753 00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:56.120 All right, Stephen, go ahead. 754 00:44:56.120 --> 00:44:59.200 Your window is green, so I'm not really sure if you have a question or not. 755 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.600 I wanted to just add to that, maybe for everyone here, 756 00:45:04.600 --> 00:45:08.100 is what's your take on the divine masculinity 757 00:45:08.100 --> 00:45:10.840 and femininity in that situation? 758 00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:14.280 But then also a follow-up question is just in general, 759 00:45:14.280 --> 00:45:16.320 I know there's a section in Paths, 760 00:45:18.160 --> 00:45:21.160 teaching in Paths for masculinity, 761 00:45:21.160 --> 00:45:25.680 but if you could just elaborate a little bit 762 00:45:25.680 --> 00:45:27.880 for everyone here, please. 763 00:45:27.880 --> 00:45:30.040 So the question is, you want me to cover 764 00:45:30.040 --> 00:45:31.400 the divine masculine and feminine 765 00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:34.540 as it pertains to when people first meet? 766 00:45:35.560 --> 00:45:37.280 Yeah, I think that would be quite helpful 767 00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:38.920 for the group today. 768 00:45:38.920 --> 00:45:40.320 Yeah. 769 00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:42.000 I mean, I really do. 770 00:45:43.720 --> 00:45:46.680 Sorry, I'm sitting outside, it's a little loud. 771 00:45:48.140 --> 00:45:53.140 I really do think that men have been created to lead, okay? 772 00:45:54.520 --> 00:45:57.040 The divine masculine is a leader. 773 00:45:57.040 --> 00:45:59.720 Now that can look different on your temperament, 774 00:45:59.720 --> 00:46:02.760 that can look different on the way that you were raised. 775 00:46:02.760 --> 00:46:04.680 It can look different in our modern society, 776 00:46:04.680 --> 00:46:08.960 depending on the woman that you're courting. 777 00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:11.440 She might also have leadership capabilities, 778 00:46:11.440 --> 00:46:13.780 but in the relationship, forget our jobs, 779 00:46:13.780 --> 00:46:15.400 forget our church ministries, 780 00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:18.640 in the marriage, in the relationship, 781 00:46:18.640 --> 00:46:21.080 I believe that the man has been called to lead. 782 00:46:21.080 --> 00:46:22.240 I do. 783 00:46:22.240 --> 00:46:26.100 And so that needs to start from the very first hello. 784 00:46:28.040 --> 00:46:29.960 I can't emphasize this enough. 785 00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:32.640 It needs to start from the very first hello. 786 00:46:32.640 --> 00:46:36.360 That means, even if you don't know what you're doing, 787 00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:39.240 ask somebody, all right? 788 00:46:39.240 --> 00:46:44.240 Ask chat GPT, whatever you need to do, be intentional. 789 00:46:44.780 --> 00:46:46.780 You're like, well, I don't know how to, 790 00:46:48.760 --> 00:46:50.560 where to take someone on a first date. 791 00:46:50.560 --> 00:46:52.480 Google it, okay? 792 00:46:52.480 --> 00:46:53.760 Just take the initiative. 793 00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:55.760 The word is initiative. 794 00:46:55.800 --> 00:46:57.080 Okay, that's what we're here for too. 795 00:46:57.080 --> 00:46:58.920 We're here to help you with that. 796 00:46:58.920 --> 00:47:00.160 Of course you don't know how to do it 797 00:47:00.160 --> 00:47:02.720 if you haven't done it before, but that's okay. 798 00:47:02.720 --> 00:47:04.560 You know, it's not like a, 799 00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:07.260 it's not a pass or fail situation. 800 00:47:08.760 --> 00:47:10.760 It's not a pass or fail situation. 801 00:47:10.760 --> 00:47:12.440 So it's really important that you understand 802 00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:15.200 that most women, not all women, 803 00:47:15.200 --> 00:47:16.020 because I already told you, 804 00:47:16.020 --> 00:47:19.400 there are some transactional girls out there, 805 00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:21.720 but you don't want those ones anyway. 806 00:47:21.720 --> 00:47:24.320 Most women that are worth you getting to know 807 00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:27.940 are going to be very gracious towards a man who's trying. 808 00:47:29.120 --> 00:47:30.720 And so the very first thing that I can say 809 00:47:30.720 --> 00:47:33.100 is from the very first hello, be a leader. 810 00:47:34.240 --> 00:47:35.980 If you're meeting her on a dating app, 811 00:47:35.980 --> 00:47:37.420 you say something to her first. 812 00:47:37.420 --> 00:47:38.720 Don't wait till she talks to you 813 00:47:38.720 --> 00:47:40.560 because you don't want to be rejected. 814 00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:44.020 Talk to her, say hello, ask her about herself. 815 00:47:44.020 --> 00:47:46.400 Women like to be asked questions, all right? 816 00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:48.180 Ask her some questions about herself. 817 00:47:48.180 --> 00:47:50.520 Not too prying, not too personal. 818 00:47:50.520 --> 00:47:52.520 Something to keep the flow of conversation going. 819 00:47:52.520 --> 00:47:55.160 Once again, if you don't have some icebreaker questions, 820 00:47:55.160 --> 00:47:58.040 we can give you a list of those, get moving on that. 821 00:47:58.040 --> 00:48:01.200 And as soon as you're interested in her answers, 822 00:48:01.200 --> 00:48:03.080 she seems like someone that you would, 823 00:48:03.080 --> 00:48:06.640 remember, it's not a marriage proposal, it's just coffee. 824 00:48:06.640 --> 00:48:08.480 It's just lunch. 825 00:48:08.480 --> 00:48:09.800 It's no big deal. 826 00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:13.920 Go ahead and ask for the date. 827 00:48:13.920 --> 00:48:15.560 You be the one that asks for the date. 828 00:48:15.560 --> 00:48:19.840 Don't force this poor woman to talk to you every single day. 829 00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:20.680 Hey, how are you doing? 830 00:48:20.680 --> 00:48:21.520 Where are you up to? 831 00:48:21.520 --> 00:48:22.960 And finally ask you, hey, 832 00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:24.720 do you want to get together sometime? 833 00:48:24.720 --> 00:48:29.040 Don't make her drop the hanky so you can pick it up. 834 00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:30.640 But you're like, well, I don't know if she's interested. 835 00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:33.340 She's on a dating app and she's talking to you. 836 00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:36.200 She's on a dating app. 837 00:48:36.200 --> 00:48:39.040 That's what she's there for and she's talking to you. 838 00:48:39.040 --> 00:48:41.120 The worst thing that's going to happen is she's going to say, 839 00:48:41.120 --> 00:48:43.400 no, I can't, I'm busy. 840 00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:44.760 She's going to make some other excuse 841 00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:46.640 because women love to be polite 842 00:48:46.640 --> 00:48:49.320 and they don't like to offend anyone. 843 00:48:49.320 --> 00:48:51.440 And so if she keeps hemming and hawing 844 00:48:52.280 --> 00:48:53.800 and she doesn't want to get together, then guess what? 845 00:48:53.800 --> 00:48:55.440 It's not a talking app, it's a dating app. 846 00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:57.400 That's someone telling you that, yeah, 847 00:48:57.400 --> 00:48:59.080 talking to you has been cool, 848 00:48:59.080 --> 00:49:01.820 but I'm really not interested in going on a date with you. 849 00:49:01.820 --> 00:49:02.660 And then you know what? 850 00:49:02.660 --> 00:49:03.560 Thank you, next. 851 00:49:04.600 --> 00:49:06.980 So the way the divine masculine looks like 852 00:49:06.980 --> 00:49:10.600 from the very beginning of a relationship is you must lead. 853 00:49:10.600 --> 00:49:12.380 You take the first step. 854 00:49:12.380 --> 00:49:14.120 You say the first hello. 855 00:49:14.120 --> 00:49:16.040 You ask for the date first. 856 00:49:16.040 --> 00:49:17.760 If you liked her on the date, 857 00:49:17.760 --> 00:49:21.180 ask her for the second date before you leave her presence. 858 00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:22.780 Don't make her wonder when she gets home 859 00:49:22.780 --> 00:49:24.980 whether or not there's going to be a second date. 860 00:49:24.980 --> 00:49:27.100 You tell her before you leave her presence, 861 00:49:27.100 --> 00:49:29.660 I really enjoyed myself, I'd like to see you again. 862 00:49:30.700 --> 00:49:33.300 That is what it looks like to be divinely masculine. 863 00:49:37.380 --> 00:49:38.220 And then of course, 864 00:49:38.220 --> 00:49:40.060 that will carry over into your relationship. 865 00:49:40.060 --> 00:49:41.580 Because however you start the relationship 866 00:49:41.580 --> 00:49:45.000 is how the relationship's going to continue, okay? 867 00:49:45.980 --> 00:49:48.340 And then when, of course, if you guys get serious, 868 00:49:48.340 --> 00:49:50.460 at some point, if she's divinely feminine, 869 00:49:50.460 --> 00:49:54.100 she's going to make some decisions too. 870 00:49:54.100 --> 00:49:56.380 She's going to take some pressure off of you. 871 00:49:56.380 --> 00:49:58.260 But show her from the very beginning 872 00:49:58.260 --> 00:50:00.420 that you're a man who knows what he wants. 873 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.920 That's really important. 874 00:50:01.920 --> 00:50:03.960 That's very, very attractive to women. 875 00:50:05.200 --> 00:50:06.040 Joel. 876 00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:13.000 Yeah, so I just had a question. 877 00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:14.880 So I, you know, I came, 878 00:50:14.880 --> 00:50:16.120 just came into this community 879 00:50:16.120 --> 00:50:19.440 from the Harvard dating community. 880 00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:21.440 And I'm still, you know, part of that community, 881 00:50:21.440 --> 00:50:24.920 but I was trying to sort of cast a wider net. 882 00:50:25.920 --> 00:50:28.800 And just so you know, I know, I know Kate and JJ, 883 00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:29.640 so go ahead. 884 00:50:30.080 --> 00:50:30.920 Okay, great. 885 00:50:32.040 --> 00:50:35.320 So I was just trying to figure out, you know, 886 00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:36.520 with Kate and JJ, you know, 887 00:50:36.520 --> 00:50:38.200 some of the things they recommend, 888 00:50:38.200 --> 00:50:41.000 and I didn't know, you know, 889 00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:43.640 how your recommendations are for this community, et cetera. 890 00:50:43.640 --> 00:50:47.600 But they talk about near 90 days, 891 00:50:47.600 --> 00:50:48.800 getting to know somebody 892 00:50:48.800 --> 00:50:51.920 is sort of in a romantic friendship way. 893 00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:54.680 And then you make a commitment, you know, after 90 days. 894 00:50:54.680 --> 00:50:56.680 And in that timeframe, 895 00:50:56.680 --> 00:50:59.480 they say that they encourage people 896 00:50:59.480 --> 00:51:01.000 to talk to other people as well. 897 00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:02.920 Although they say that doesn't always work, 898 00:51:02.920 --> 00:51:04.720 you know, for the individual person. 899 00:51:06.160 --> 00:51:08.400 So just kind of figure out how, you know, 900 00:51:08.400 --> 00:51:11.160 as far as this community goes and your recommendations go, 901 00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:15.560 what is, how do you all operate in that sense? 902 00:51:15.560 --> 00:51:16.400 And we, you know, 903 00:51:16.400 --> 00:51:17.240 and just so you know, Joel, 904 00:51:17.240 --> 00:51:20.160 we cover all that in your phase two course stuff. 905 00:51:20.160 --> 00:51:21.800 So if you want to take a look at that on the app, 906 00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:25.520 but I want to tell you that it's not really different 907 00:51:25.520 --> 00:51:28.600 in that we don't like set a 90 day parameter 908 00:51:28.600 --> 00:51:31.000 because a lot of our students are older. 909 00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:33.280 So a lot of our students are, 910 00:51:33.280 --> 00:51:35.280 a lot of our students are not millennials. 911 00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:37.080 There are some millennials like Daniel, 912 00:51:37.080 --> 00:51:41.600 but we have a lot of people that are Gen X and older, 913 00:51:41.600 --> 00:51:44.080 and that's just not the way Gen X rolls. 914 00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:47.040 So the reason, so what we, 915 00:51:47.040 --> 00:51:50.560 they usually, you know, they've lived longer. 916 00:51:50.560 --> 00:51:52.840 A lot of them have been married before, 917 00:51:52.840 --> 00:51:55.120 and even if they haven't, they've lived longer. 918 00:51:55.720 --> 00:51:57.920 They're in their forties and fifties and sixties, 919 00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:00.400 and they kind of already know what they want out of life 920 00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:02.480 and, you know, know who would fit their life. 921 00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:05.000 And so they're probably not going to take 90 days 922 00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:07.200 to make a decision about being boyfriend or girlfriend 923 00:52:07.200 --> 00:52:09.880 or exclusivity, okay? 924 00:52:09.880 --> 00:52:12.280 But that being said, in the early stages, 925 00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:14.160 we call it level one, two, three, four, five, 926 00:52:14.160 --> 00:52:16.560 five being married, four being engaged, 927 00:52:16.560 --> 00:52:19.080 three being exclusive relationship, 928 00:52:19.080 --> 00:52:22.920 two being getting to know you, low stakes dating, 929 00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:24.480 and one being community. 930 00:52:24.520 --> 00:52:26.000 So all of us are in community together. 931 00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:27.000 We're all on level one. 932 00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:30.280 Level two is that initial getting to know someone, 933 00:52:30.280 --> 00:52:33.480 having those low stakes conversations. 934 00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:34.720 It's not romantic. 935 00:52:34.720 --> 00:52:37.520 As soon as it turns romantic, you're already at level three. 936 00:52:37.520 --> 00:52:40.320 So if you're holding hands, if you're kissing, 937 00:52:40.320 --> 00:52:42.760 if you're using romantic language, 938 00:52:42.760 --> 00:52:44.680 like I can't wait to see you, I miss you, 939 00:52:44.680 --> 00:52:46.400 I can't stop thinking about you, 940 00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:48.480 you've already escalated it to that. 941 00:52:48.480 --> 00:52:50.000 But at the level two, 942 00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:51.720 when you're just really getting to know someone, 943 00:52:51.720 --> 00:52:53.240 it's very platonic. 944 00:52:53.240 --> 00:52:55.880 It is completely fine to get to know a myriad of people 945 00:52:55.880 --> 00:52:56.760 at the same time. 946 00:52:58.560 --> 00:53:00.400 In fact, I think it's important if you don't have, 947 00:53:00.400 --> 00:53:02.720 if you have little to no experience, 948 00:53:02.720 --> 00:53:03.800 I think it's really important 949 00:53:03.800 --> 00:53:04.920 because you really don't know what you want. 950 00:53:04.920 --> 00:53:07.120 You got to kind of try some different things 951 00:53:07.120 --> 00:53:09.320 on the buffet, so to speak. 952 00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:13.040 And then at the same time, if you've been single, 953 00:53:13.040 --> 00:53:14.320 if you've been single for a long time, 954 00:53:14.320 --> 00:53:16.880 whether that's been after the death of a spouse 955 00:53:16.880 --> 00:53:20.560 or you've just never been married or a divorce, 956 00:53:20.560 --> 00:53:22.080 you definitely want to make sure 957 00:53:22.080 --> 00:53:24.240 that you're meeting a variety of people 958 00:53:25.160 --> 00:53:28.160 because you just don't really know 959 00:53:28.160 --> 00:53:29.640 what's going to be compatible. 960 00:53:32.320 --> 00:53:36.240 You know, there's good, there's better and there's best. 961 00:53:37.520 --> 00:53:39.480 Just because you get along a little bit with someone 962 00:53:39.480 --> 00:53:42.240 doesn't mean that that is the best. 963 00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:46.080 And I just want to tell all of you guys, 964 00:53:46.080 --> 00:53:49.000 a lot of our guys in this program have been getting married 965 00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:50.520 and getting engaged in this season. 966 00:53:51.480 --> 00:53:53.240 So we've had one, two, three, 967 00:53:53.240 --> 00:53:56.360 like five of our OGs just got engaged or married. 968 00:53:57.600 --> 00:54:00.360 And every single one of them knew really fast 969 00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:02.680 because of the work that they did here. 970 00:54:02.680 --> 00:54:04.800 So I think that's exciting. 971 00:54:07.240 --> 00:54:08.440 Awesome, thank you. 972 00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:10.680 Yeah, just from the last six months, five of our guys, 973 00:54:10.680 --> 00:54:11.840 boom, boom, boom, boom. 974 00:54:14.680 --> 00:54:16.080 Hi Hunter. 975 00:54:16.080 --> 00:54:17.440 Well, good news. 976 00:54:17.440 --> 00:54:19.360 I was chatting with Salt 977 00:54:19.400 --> 00:54:21.520 and this girl that I told you about, 978 00:54:21.520 --> 00:54:23.720 well, I'm going to have another video chat, 979 00:54:23.720 --> 00:54:25.440 a second video chat date. 980 00:54:25.440 --> 00:54:26.920 And she's in the UK. 981 00:54:26.920 --> 00:54:28.320 I asked her and she goes, yes. 982 00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:29.160 And she wants to go have it. 983 00:54:29.160 --> 00:54:30.560 I was like, no, let's keep it. 984 00:54:30.560 --> 00:54:31.760 Maybe, we might. 985 00:54:31.760 --> 00:54:32.920 I'm trying to be, 986 00:54:32.920 --> 00:54:34.720 it looks like I'm trying to be confident in leading, 987 00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:37.400 but the problem is what happens if she gets engaged? 988 00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:38.680 I didn't see her in person. 989 00:54:38.680 --> 00:54:41.760 I only know her by video and knowing her. 990 00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:44.360 But the problem is whatever this compromise might mean, 991 00:54:44.360 --> 00:54:47.080 I have to compromise and leave my country 992 00:54:47.080 --> 00:54:48.160 because she's in the UK 993 00:54:48.200 --> 00:54:49.600 and she's been to the States 994 00:54:49.600 --> 00:54:51.160 and was born and raised in Mexico. 995 00:54:51.160 --> 00:54:53.240 I'm like, I love my country. 996 00:54:54.120 --> 00:54:55.920 Should we just get to know her more? 997 00:54:57.200 --> 00:54:59.120 Is she willing to move to America? 998 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.140 Uh, we haven't gone to that. 999 00:55:01.140 --> 00:55:02.260 We're still level two. 1000 00:55:02.420 --> 00:55:05.940 It's like, looks like the potential of being a level three. 1001 00:55:06.120 --> 00:55:06.920 It could be. 1002 00:55:07.560 --> 00:55:12.120 Well, don't forget Hunter that we do have deeper conversations 1003 00:55:12.120 --> 00:55:13.260 when it's long distance. 1004 00:55:13.260 --> 00:55:16.080 So we don't want to waste our time. 1005 00:55:16.380 --> 00:55:16.980 Okay. 1006 00:55:17.300 --> 00:55:21.180 And really get feelings for someone and then have a big mess. 1007 00:55:22.180 --> 00:55:25.980 Uh, when we can't be together because we want different things in life. 1008 00:55:26.020 --> 00:55:29.840 And so it's important that if you really are not open at all, it's 1009 00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:34.580 a non-negotiable from heaven for you to, uh, move out of America, out 1010 00:55:34.580 --> 00:55:40.080 of the country, then you probably want to say that to her and ask her 1011 00:55:40.080 --> 00:55:42.020 how she would feel about relocating. 1012 00:55:42.280 --> 00:55:44.600 Should this turn into anything serious? 1013 00:55:47.720 --> 00:55:48.060 All right. 1014 00:55:48.060 --> 00:55:48.740 That's cool. 1015 00:55:49.560 --> 00:55:50.060 Okay. 1016 00:55:50.560 --> 00:55:53.800 I mean, I moved out of my home state, but now do I, I hate 1017 00:55:53.800 --> 00:55:55.000 to leave my home country. 1018 00:55:56.260 --> 00:55:57.060 Oh, okay. 1019 00:55:57.060 --> 00:56:00.600 Well, if you're not ready to do that, then two things are going to happen. 1020 00:56:01.220 --> 00:56:05.400 This is not going to be the right situation or she would 1021 00:56:05.400 --> 00:56:07.340 be open to moving to America. 1022 00:56:08.680 --> 00:56:13.980 And, um, once again, really early, but not too early for that big of a 1023 00:56:13.980 --> 00:56:17.360 long distance international connection for you to have that conversation 1024 00:56:17.740 --> 00:56:20.640 about whether or not she would ever see herself leaving her country. 1025 00:56:21.920 --> 00:56:22.420 That's cool. 1026 00:56:23.440 --> 00:56:24.620 We're just getting to know each other. 1027 00:56:24.620 --> 00:56:26.080 It's still level two anyways. 1028 00:56:27.220 --> 00:56:27.720 Right. 1029 00:56:27.720 --> 00:56:30.360 But once again, it's long distance. 1030 00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:32.520 So you need to go ahead and ask her that question. 1031 00:56:32.580 --> 00:56:36.380 If she would ever see herself for any reason, like relation, like a 1032 00:56:36.380 --> 00:56:39.520 relationship, maybe not with you, but with anyone leaving her country. 1033 00:56:39.600 --> 00:56:40.560 It's important question. 1034 00:56:41.160 --> 00:56:41.520 All right. 1035 00:56:41.520 --> 00:56:42.020 Yeah. 1036 00:56:42.180 --> 00:56:43.980 Hunter, can I just throw in a quick example? 1037 00:56:44.140 --> 00:56:49.900 Um, so about, uh, maybe three weeks ago, I connected with, um, a woman that had 1038 00:56:49.900 --> 00:56:53.820 done a single spotlight in the community and I just, you know, send her a message 1039 00:56:53.820 --> 00:56:58.240 on Facebook, we chatted a little bit and one of the first, I mean, within the 1040 00:56:58.240 --> 00:57:02.200 first couple hours of chatting, I asked her, so like, are you open to relocating? 1041 00:57:02.220 --> 00:57:07.940 Or do you have like a co-parenting, uh, uh, agreement that keeps you in place? 1042 00:57:08.220 --> 00:57:11.020 And she said, I'm, I have to, I'm, I'm anchored here. 1043 00:57:11.020 --> 00:57:11.780 I can't move. 1044 00:57:12.120 --> 00:57:13.900 And I said, I'm anchored here. 1045 00:57:13.900 --> 00:57:14.740 I can't move. 1046 00:57:14.800 --> 00:57:17.000 And it was pretty much like, okay, you're great. 1047 00:57:17.300 --> 00:57:20.660 We're actually friends now and we chit chat and stuff, but we understand 1048 00:57:20.660 --> 00:57:23.980 it's going to be platonic and it's, it's a non-starter. 1049 00:57:24.460 --> 00:57:29.620 And so I would recommend you to ask that question sooner rather than later to 1050 00:57:29.620 --> 00:57:31.900 figure it out, if it's even a possibility. 1051 00:57:33.020 --> 00:57:33.420 Yes. 1052 00:57:33.420 --> 00:57:34.560 And we're really proud of you, Hunter. 1053 00:57:34.560 --> 00:57:35.340 You're doing great. 1054 00:57:35.540 --> 00:57:38.460 So that's a lot of progress that you're, you're making. 1055 00:57:38.860 --> 00:57:43.860 Well, it's just, it's just the only person that I got to get this far with on salt, 1056 00:57:44.340 --> 00:57:50.260 I guess, uh, but then again, well, just so you know, salt is a UK based app. 1057 00:57:50.300 --> 00:57:50.780 Yes. 1058 00:57:51.460 --> 00:57:51.820 Yeah. 1059 00:57:51.820 --> 00:57:55.060 So they do have a lot of people in the UK cause that's where they started. 1060 00:57:55.060 --> 00:57:57.460 Now they are obviously in America as well now. 1061 00:57:57.980 --> 00:58:02.100 Um, but we have a little kind of budding partnership with them and with arc. 1062 00:58:02.660 --> 00:58:06.340 So guys, um, I'm going to actually put up in your resource page 1063 00:58:06.640 --> 00:58:10.020 tomorrow, a special link to arc. 1064 00:58:10.540 --> 00:58:13.500 So if you guys want to check that out, um, it is Christian 1065 00:58:13.500 --> 00:58:14.900 dating app for Christians. 1066 00:58:14.900 --> 00:58:16.860 It was created by Christians for Christians. 1067 00:58:17.180 --> 00:58:20.980 We do have a special partnership going with them right now. 1068 00:58:21.380 --> 00:58:24.480 And we're going to do three speed dating events with everyone on 1069 00:58:24.480 --> 00:58:26.900 their app in June that are virtual. 1070 00:58:26.900 --> 00:58:28.620 So that's going to be a really great opportunity for 1071 00:58:28.620 --> 00:58:29.940 you guys to meet some people. 1072 00:58:30.220 --> 00:58:36.980 So I will be putting that link up in the resource tab of your group on the app. 1073 00:58:37.340 --> 00:58:37.820 Okay. 1074 00:58:38.060 --> 00:58:39.620 And we'll also put it in your Facebook group. 1075 00:58:41.380 --> 00:58:42.020 All right, guys. 1076 00:58:42.100 --> 00:58:43.740 Um, does anyone else have any questions? 1077 00:58:43.740 --> 00:58:45.900 We're past the hour, so I'm gonna let you guys go. 1078 00:58:45.900 --> 00:58:51.740 I know it's a holiday and so go off to your, your Bratwurst 1079 00:58:51.740 --> 00:58:53.340 or whatever's waiting on you. 1080 00:58:54.100 --> 00:58:58.100 I had to get up from hanging out with you guys, David. 1081 00:58:58.100 --> 00:59:00.220 Don't forget to email us, Joel. 1082 00:59:00.220 --> 00:59:03.740 It was nice to get to talk to you more and I'll try to jump in at least, you 1083 00:59:03.740 --> 00:59:07.860 know, once a month for these Monday calls and do a little ask Jackie with you guys. 1084 00:59:08.380 --> 00:59:13.380 I'm excited for Steven to start Simbas and Mike, I feel like the 1085 00:59:13.380 --> 00:59:14.900 transition that you've been in. 1086 00:59:14.900 --> 00:59:19.980 I really do see, uh, you coming into, uh, uh, a larger space. 1087 00:59:20.380 --> 00:59:25.460 So I know it's been feeling really tight and, you know, a lot of pressure, but I 1088 00:59:25.460 --> 00:59:28.380 do see you coming into a larger space. 1089 00:59:28.420 --> 00:59:30.620 So, um, just hang in there, bro. 1090 00:59:31.220 --> 00:59:32.020 Oh, yeah, cool. 1091 00:59:32.020 --> 00:59:32.860 Yeah, I could, I could use. 1092 00:59:35.420 --> 00:59:35.940 Amen. 1093 00:59:36.700 --> 00:59:37.340 All right. 1094 00:59:37.380 --> 00:59:38.860 So father, God bless your sons. 1095 00:59:38.860 --> 00:59:40.700 We thank you, Lord, that they are here. 1096 00:59:40.700 --> 00:59:41.860 They are marriage minded. 1097 00:59:42.220 --> 00:59:45.100 You're calling your Davids from the field, as you said, Lord. 1098 00:59:45.100 --> 00:59:48.740 And so we thank you, God, that you have the anointing upon 1099 00:59:48.740 --> 00:59:50.540 them to find their spirit mates. 1100 00:59:50.940 --> 00:59:55.340 So we just speak that Proverbs 18, 22 over them that they will discover and 1101 00:59:55.340 --> 01:00:00.060 see and find the woman that you have given them favor with Lord. 1102 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.080 because that is their good thing. And so, Laura, we thank you, God, for this community. We thank 1103 01:00:04.080 --> 01:00:09.360 you for them as they lead in this community and show these ladies what a good, marriage-minded, 1104 01:00:09.360 --> 01:00:14.160 mature, and masculine man of God looks like. In Jesus' name, amen. All right, guys, I'll see you 1105 01:00:14.160 --> 01:00:15.280 soon. Bye, everyone.