WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:24.000
Let's go ahead and get started.

2
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:27.000
Hey there, Heidi.

3
00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.000
Hey, Sheree.

4
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.000
What's up, ladies?

5
00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:34.000
Hey, Nicole.

6
00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.000
Hey, Kelly.

7
00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.000
Good to see you all.

8
00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:45.000
We all pretty much know each other in here so far, but you guys know I'm Danielle, and I get to be the hostess today.

9
00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:54.000
And I'm also our powerful, powerful woman that we brought to bring you some goodness, okay?

10
00:00:54.000 --> 00:01:02.000
So who here knows that we all feel anxiety at some point in our days?

11
00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:04.000
Anybody feel anxiety?

12
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:06.000
Okay, exactly.

13
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:10.000
Because when you're building a business, that tends to come up, right?

14
00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:12.000
And as you all know, you're not just businesswomen.

15
00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:21.000
You're also wearing the hat of mom and friend and wife and volunteer and homeschooler and all of the things.

16
00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:25.000
You all are just high-level women.

17
00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:30.000
And so we wanted to make sure that you got to hear from our guest today.

18
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:35.000
She loves to talk about anxiety and how to overcome it.

19
00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:42.000
She loves to bring in practical steps on how to take care of your emotional wellness.

20
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.000
Who here knows?

21
00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:44.000
We talk about this, right?

22
00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:45.000
Exactly.

23
00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:46.000
We got some claps in the room.

24
00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:53.000
Like, yes, bring on how to take care of myself, how to address the emotional side of myself.

25
00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:55.000
We talk a lot about that in this community.

26
00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:02.000
And so Natalie, also known as Natty Lewis, is here.

27
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:06.000
And she has something just super prepared for all of you.

28
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.000
So are you all ready?

29
00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:09.000
Are you ready to receive?

30
00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:12.000
Are you ready for some transformation today?

31
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:15.000
If you are ready, I want you to write ready in the chat.

32
00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:23.000
And then I want us to just, like, give a super warm welcome to our guest today.

33
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:25.000
We're going to give her the mic.

34
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.000
She's got some goodness for you today.

35
00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:31.000
And then at the end, if there's questions, we're going to have some time for that.

36
00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:32.000
I'll be looking at the chat.

37
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:37.000
So if you have any questions for me, too, while we're in the middle of it, also feel free to let me know.

38
00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:38.000
Okay.

39
00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:40.000
Everyone's ready.

40
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:43.000
So, Natty, come on in.

41
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:48.000
Oh, no, you're muted.

42
00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:51.000
I'm unmuted now, right?

43
00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:52.000
Yeah.

44
00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:56.000
Well, I am very ready, and I'm excited to be here with you guys.

45
00:02:56.000 --> 00:03:04.000
A little background on me, as you know, I am also a female business owner and a mom with four kids.

46
00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:08.000
I've actually run and operated seven of my own companies.

47
00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:13.000
I've been involved in anywhere from startup companies to multibillion-dollar corporations.

48
00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:22.000
I've been in the corporate ladder, and I've been an entrepreneur with nothing more than me, a laptop, and a teeny-tiny space.

49
00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:35.000
So I've experienced it all from that standpoint and experienced what it looks like to build a business and be a mom and be a wife and manage life and do all the things at the same time.

50
00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:37.000
And I got to be honest with you.

51
00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:43.000
When I was growing up, this idea of anxiety and stress and people would be like, oh, I'm so stressed out.

52
00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:47.000
And I was like, you know, what I think you are is a wuss.

53
00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:50.000
That's what I thought because I was an athlete.

54
00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:52.000
And when you're an athlete, you just, like, suck it up.

55
00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:55.000
Like, I grew up in the world of rub some dirt on it.

56
00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:56.000
Right?

57
00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:03.000
I was my brother's – I was my brother – we had six kids in our family, and I was the youngest, and he had all sisters.

58
00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:07.000
And when I was born, he told my parents, if it wasn't a boy, don't bring it home.

59
00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:13.000
And so my parents let him name me, and they let – and I became, like, his favorite friend.

60
00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:19.000
And I grew up in the world of suck it up, rub some dirt in it, grow thicker skin, figure it out.

61
00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:20.000
There's no crying in baseball.

62
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:23.000
I grew up in that space, and it served me.

63
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:25.000
Like, champions just work harder.

64
00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:26.000
That's what I thought.

65
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:31.000
And I went on, and I became a D1 athlete, and I had tremendous success.

66
00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:37.000
And then I graduated college, and I started in the workplace, and I started having kids.

67
00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:46.000
And I was working and running a business, and I had three kids, and I started having what I thought were miniature little heart attacks.

68
00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.000
And I didn't know what was happening to me.

69
00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:51.000
I could feel my chest tighten.

70
00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:53.000
I could feel my throat squeeze.

71
00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:57.000
I could feel myself sweat randomly in the day.

72
00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:00.000
I could feel myself just trying.

73
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.800
as I used to say, to keep my crap together and not lose it on people in the office.

74
00:05:05.840 --> 00:05:10.640
I was struggling to figure out who I was because I didn't actually like myself.

75
00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:17.280
I was really remarkably successful, actually. I was the vice president of an organization,

76
00:05:17.280 --> 00:05:23.680
a multi-billion dollar company, and I felt like I was living somebody else's life. I felt like

77
00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:33.040
I was this kind of excited about life human being who showed up as the devil wears Prada.

78
00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:38.000
I was like, what is wrong with me? Why can't I keep it together? Why can't I figure out who I

79
00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:44.240
am? Then I woke up one morning and I could not move my arms or my legs. I had no use or no

80
00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:49.680
function of my arms or my legs. I woke up in the fetal position and I couldn't move. I was taken

81
00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:55.920
to the hospital and they proceeded to run tests for over a day. Everything kept coming back saying,

82
00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:01.360
nothing's wrong with you. Nothing's wrong with you. Nothing's wrong with you. I was like,

83
00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:08.000
oh, there is something wrong with me. I cannot communicate from my brain to my hands to

84
00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:14.240
function. There's nothing right about what's happening to me. Something is for sure wrong.

85
00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:21.520
And then after being in there and having them run so many tests, somebody finally came in the room

86
00:06:21.520 --> 00:06:27.040
and I didn't recognize this woman. And she was a social worker and she walked in the room and she

87
00:06:27.040 --> 00:06:33.200
started asking me questions about my capacity to raise my children. And something happened.

88
00:06:33.760 --> 00:06:40.320
It was like somebody had taken a light and flipped on the lights and turned them on bright and all

89
00:06:41.280 --> 00:06:47.120
systems were a go and everything was operational and I was pulling IVs out of my arm. I was out of

90
00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:51.360
there. I was not sticking around for whatever conversation was happening next. I checked

91
00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:57.520
myself out of there. For three months, I could not stop thinking about what had just happened. I could

92
00:06:57.520 --> 00:07:05.440
not stop thinking about how did I go from incapable to get my body to function to actually

93
00:07:05.440 --> 00:07:11.120
fully functional? What was that switch that turned on in my brain? And why did it turn off?

94
00:07:12.080 --> 00:07:17.920
And what could I do about it? And I started deep diving into a study. I had spent 20 years of my

95
00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:22.880
career in human behavior, mostly dominantly in marketing and sales, doing market research on

96
00:07:22.880 --> 00:07:26.960
emotional buying patterns. What makes someone buy? Why does somebody put something in their

97
00:07:26.960 --> 00:07:30.480
cart and not check out? Why does somebody cry at a commercial and somebody laugh?

98
00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:34.800
Why does somebody get emotional about something and act and somebody else gets emotional and

99
00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:39.520
sits down and does nothing? I had studied human behavior and neuroscience with regards to

100
00:07:39.520 --> 00:07:46.560
emotional response. What I had not studied was what actually happens in the brain when someone

101
00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:52.320
feels emotional and why there is so much connectivity to the body. I proceeded to take the

102
00:07:52.320 --> 00:07:57.360
next several years. There was not amount of information that was too much for me to consume.

103
00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:02.480
I took courses. I took classes. I took as much education as I could get. I partnered with an

104
00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:08.880
organization that had 14 years in neuroscience on anxiety and human behavior and dove in. And

105
00:08:08.880 --> 00:08:16.080
with them, we created a framework to actually help people understand emotional behavior.

106
00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:24.240
And it was what I called the definition of freedom because for me, I finally felt free.

107
00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:30.240
I felt free, ladies, because I understood. You see, it's an interesting thing. When we experience

108
00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:36.480
something we do not understand, it will be coupled with fear. It will be coupled with fear because if

109
00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:41.440
we don't understand how it happened, it could happen again. And there's nothing we can do about

110
00:08:41.440 --> 00:08:47.760
it. And when we understand what we're actually experiencing, there is tremendous power because

111
00:08:47.760 --> 00:08:54.960
there is capacity for us to do something about it, to get actionable. And I am now a woman on a

112
00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:00.720
mission because I get the opportunity to work with women all day, every day, powerful women,

113
00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:06.400
just like you, who are running businesses and running families and running households. And

114
00:09:06.400 --> 00:09:11.280
if you aren't experiencing emotion as a part of that, you might check and ensure you got a pulse

115
00:09:11.280 --> 00:09:17.600
going on. And yet so many of these women are afraid, afraid of what they're feeling because

116
00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:22.960
the world has said that if you're feeling that you're just having imposter syndrome,

117
00:09:23.760 --> 00:09:28.800
or if you're feeling that, then maybe you're just not good enough, or maybe you just shouldn't be in

118
00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:35.200
business. Maybe you should just stay home. Oh my gosh, I've heard it all. And all of it is a bunch

119
00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:40.720
of crap. That's what I'm here to say. What I'm here to say is ladies, if you have a desire to

120
00:09:40.720 --> 00:09:48.080
build a business and you have a desire to be an amazing mother, and you have a desire to run a

121
00:09:48.160 --> 00:09:56.000
beautiful life, I need you to know you can have it all. You simply have to understand

122
00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:59.840
what is really going on and then be intentionally actionable.

123
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.000
about how you move forward with it.

124
00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:04.000
Because with intention,

125
00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:07.000
we can have it all.

126
00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:09.000
So what I want to start with today

127
00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.000
is I want to start with understanding.

128
00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:15.000
The first piece of understanding I want you to know

129
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:17.000
is that you've got a physical body

130
00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:20.000
and you've got a mental, emotional self.

131
00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:22.000
And I need you to make sure that we're understanding

132
00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.000
you do not have some mental, emotional self

133
00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:26.000
running around out there in this world

134
00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:28.000
without your physical body.

135
00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:30.000
Not two of you somewhere.

136
00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:32.000
You are inseparably connected,

137
00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.000
which would mean, it would beg to mean,

138
00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:38.000
because we're all logical, fabulously wise women on this call,

139
00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.000
we would have to then understand quite naturally

140
00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:43.000
if something happens to my physical body,

141
00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:47.000
it will impact my emotional, mental self.

142
00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:50.000
And if something happens to me emotionally and mentally,

143
00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:52.000
it will impact my physical self.

144
00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.000
They are not separate.

145
00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:56.000
We live in a world that is desperately trying

146
00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.000
to separate these things.

147
00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:00.000
Mental health and physical health, ladies,

148
00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:02.000
if you get anything out of what I talked to you about today,

149
00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:05.000
I want you to empower yourself with the knowledge

150
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:08.000
that you don't have somebody else running around out there

151
00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:10.000
that's a you without a body.

152
00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:13.000
You and your body, you are inseparably connected,

153
00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:15.000
and if you will figure that out and work with it

154
00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:17.000
and not against it,

155
00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:19.000
you can do amazing things.

156
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:24.000
Because every single thought and emotion you have

157
00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.000
will create physiology.

158
00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:28.000
It will create physiology.

159
00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:30.000
This is not a sometimes.

160
00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:32.000
This is not a nice to have.

161
00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:34.000
It will create physiology,

162
00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:37.000
and I want you to understand why.

163
00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:40.000
It all comes down to the way our brains were built,

164
00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:44.000
and I'm going to use my hand as our little brain model for the day.

165
00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:46.000
And our brain, if this is our brain,

166
00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:49.000
these beautiful front fingers here represent our prefrontal cortex

167
00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:51.000
or our cerebral cortex.

168
00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:54.000
This is where all of our logic and reason come from.

169
00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:58.000
This is what makes us fascinatingly capable human beings.

170
00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:00.000
We learn things.

171
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:02.000
We become wise with things.

172
00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.000
Our knowledge is stored right here in this front,

173
00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:07.000
and what it connects to right here is the brainstem.

174
00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:11.000
This is our logic and our wisdom and our knowledge

175
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.000
pouring in and allowing us to function.

176
00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:16.000
That's what's going on when we're here.

177
00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:19.000
Now, what it covers up is two things.

178
00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:22.000
This hippocampus, which is represented by the palm of my hand,

179
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:24.000
is our pictures.

180
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:26.000
It's where pictures and memories are stored.

181
00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:30.000
Really important to know that our brain does not have anything.

182
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:33.000
There's no good or bad valve with pictures and memories.

183
00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:35.000
It's just pictures. It's just memories.

184
00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:37.000
Brain doesn't say,

185
00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:39.000
that's a good one, that's a bad one.

186
00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:41.000
Brain doesn't say, think about that one more,

187
00:12:41.000 --> 00:12:43.000
don't think about that one.

188
00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:45.000
It's just pictures and memories.

189
00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:48.000
Now, what helps us to define those pictures and memories

190
00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.000
is actually the amygdala,

191
00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:53.000
which is going to be represented by my thumb here.

192
00:12:53.000 --> 00:12:55.000
That thumb touches on those pictures and memories.

193
00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:57.000
That amygdala touches on them,

194
00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:00.000
and what it's responsible for are three primary features.

195
00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:03.000
Our sensory experience, meaning our sight and our smell

196
00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.000
and our taste and our sound.

197
00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:07.000
That's going to be really important, ladies,

198
00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:10.000
that we know the amygdala is in charge of senses

199
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:12.000
because I'm going to teach you something you can do

200
00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:14.000
that's fast and easy

201
00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.000
that actually is going to do wonders for you

202
00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:19.000
in the world of emotion

203
00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:22.000
because the amygdala is responsible for senses.

204
00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.000
Its second job is to actually help us

205
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.000
to process those,

206
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:28.000
to understand what emotion

207
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:32.000
we felt during these memories and these pictures.

208
00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:34.000
And its last job

209
00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:36.000
is it is our body's alarm system.

210
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.000
Excuse me.

211
00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:42.000
It is our body's alarm system

212
00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:46.000
to tell us whether we are safe or not safe.

213
00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:48.000
So to give you an example of how this works,

214
00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.000
we're walking around as a whole-brained human being.

215
00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:54.000
We're walking down the street, and the next thing you know,

216
00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.000
it starts to get a little bit dark outside.

217
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:59.000
Well, our amygdala, which is in charge of our sensory experience,

218
00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:01.000
is noticing that it's getting dark.

219
00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:04.000
And then we hear a rustle in the bushes.

220
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:07.000
And our amygdala, which is in charge of that sensory experience,

221
00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.000
is feeling the rustle in the bushes.

222
00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:11.000
And it's attaching now to a picture here.

223
00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:14.000
And that picture could be real or imagined.

224
00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:17.000
Maybe you've never experienced walking down the street in the dark,

225
00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:19.000
but you watched a scary movie,

226
00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:22.000
and there was something going on there in the dark.

227
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:25.000
Or you read a story online about this,

228
00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:27.000
or you heard a friend tell you a story about it,

229
00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:29.000
and now you have a picture

230
00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:31.000
or a memory, real or imagined.

231
00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:33.000
It doesn't matter.

232
00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:35.000
The brain can't delineate between them.

233
00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:37.000
This is why visualization works.

234
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:39.000
It has no idea what's real or imagined,

235
00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:41.000
and our senses are now touching on this picture.

236
00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:43.000
Maybe it came from a scary movie.

237
00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:45.000
And all of a sudden, the amygdala,

238
00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:47.000
the alarm about being unsafe,

239
00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:49.000
is starting to get a little twitchy.

240
00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:51.000
It's a little uncomfortable right here

241
00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:54.000
because it's like, oh, high alert, high alert, high alert, high alert.

242
00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:57.000
Next thing you know, this guy jumps out of the bushes in front of you.

243
00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:58.000
Boom!

244
00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:00.000
What happens is,

245
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.560
brain will flip the lid of the prefrontal cortex into the air

246
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.440
and remove it from the brainstem.

247
00:15:08.440 --> 00:15:09.840
Now, why on earth would we do that?

248
00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:14.960
Why on earth would we be designed to remove our rational,

249
00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:19.600
logical brain from the party when we are in a state of threat?

250
00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:23.120
It's because now is not the time to be thinking, ladies.

251
00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:25.520
Now is not the time to be evaluating and saying, I don't know,

252
00:15:25.520 --> 00:15:26.720
is this dude wearing flip flops?

253
00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:28.040
Because I have been running lately

254
00:15:28.040 --> 00:15:29.880
and I have actually been lifting quite a bit.

255
00:15:29.880 --> 00:15:31.320
And he's kind of a small little fellow.

256
00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.720
I think I could not time.

257
00:15:33.720 --> 00:15:35.840
It is time to react.

258
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:38.600
And so our body, our brain sends the message.

259
00:15:38.600 --> 00:15:39.480
It is reaction time.

260
00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:42.120
Boom. Get rid of your capacity to think.

261
00:15:42.640 --> 00:15:45.520
It is not time to think we're going to get rid of it

262
00:15:45.520 --> 00:15:47.320
and we're going to then what we're going to do

263
00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.720
is we're going to pump blood to the extremities.

264
00:15:50.800 --> 00:15:54.080
So that you have the capacity to do what you need to do right now

265
00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:56.960
in reaction state, you're either going to run farther or faster

266
00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:58.240
than you've run in the past.

267
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.760
You're going to hit something harder or you're going to be able to take a hit.

268
00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:04.800
And now here you go.

269
00:16:04.800 --> 00:16:08.440
Your body moves in response to the stimulus.

270
00:16:09.360 --> 00:16:11.680
And that is how we are designed to work.

271
00:16:12.400 --> 00:16:16.360
Now, here is the fascinating part, ladies, is that this works

272
00:16:16.360 --> 00:16:20.640
like a charm in physical danger, because when this happens

273
00:16:20.640 --> 00:16:24.600
and I need to run, I run when I need to hit, I hit.

274
00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:26.520
But here's the thing.

275
00:16:26.520 --> 00:16:31.520
Our brain works identically to emotional unsafety

276
00:16:31.760 --> 00:16:33.760
as it did to physical and safety.

277
00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:37.080
So when I feel emotionally unsafe,

278
00:16:37.640 --> 00:16:40.160
my little amygdala will sound the alarm,

279
00:16:40.920 --> 00:16:43.440
kick off the prefrontal cortex, and I'm running around

280
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:46.040
without my brain cells trying to make decisions right now.

281
00:16:46.040 --> 00:16:48.600
And it is not going well for me.

282
00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:49.600
And guess what happened?

283
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:51.920
The blood rushed to the extremities.

284
00:16:51.920 --> 00:16:55.160
So we define anxiety is this big, scary thing.

285
00:16:55.800 --> 00:16:59.440
Ladies, anxiety is this moment when your brain

286
00:17:00.360 --> 00:17:02.800
and blood rushes to the extremities.

287
00:17:02.800 --> 00:17:05.920
And because we weren't in physical danger, guess what we normally do?

288
00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:09.280
Ladies, we sit down.

289
00:17:09.280 --> 00:17:10.599
Oh, I got to sit down.

290
00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:12.200
Oh, I don't know what to do.

291
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:14.000
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

292
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:14.960
Why don't you know what to do?

293
00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:17.760
Because your thinkers not connected.

294
00:17:17.760 --> 00:17:20.599
And then we do the worst possible thing we could. We sit.

295
00:17:21.599 --> 00:17:24.280
What is the best thing for us to do right then?

296
00:17:24.280 --> 00:17:27.079
The same thing we would do if we were in physical danger, we got to move.

297
00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:31.080
So if we are experiencing fight or flight,

298
00:17:31.080 --> 00:17:33.400
that looks like an expression of that.

299
00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:38.400
So when we experience this and we experience anxiety, what what do we feel?

300
00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:42.800
Well, we feel we feel it often in our stomach.

301
00:17:43.600 --> 00:17:47.080
So we will describe that feeling of blood rushing to the extremities.

302
00:17:47.080 --> 00:17:49.400
It rushes into our stomach. What does that feel like?

303
00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:51.800
It feels like you've been riding an elevator all day long.

304
00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:55.400
Feels like your stomach sinks. Have you ever heard people describe it?

305
00:17:55.400 --> 00:17:57.480
Oh, my gosh, my stomach just sunk.

306
00:17:58.240 --> 00:18:00.840
Well, that's what it feels like to ride an elevator.

307
00:18:00.840 --> 00:18:05.640
It can feel like your stomach compresses, gets tight and then nauseous.

308
00:18:06.120 --> 00:18:09.280
Some people describe it like it's hamsters that got let loose.

309
00:18:09.280 --> 00:18:10.640
This is how it happens to me.

310
00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.680
I have two Harry and Lyle. I've named them.

311
00:18:12.680 --> 00:18:14.440
They run. They run laps in there.

312
00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:16.840
I mean, just like they just keep going.

313
00:18:17.160 --> 00:18:19.400
Oh, I feel it in there.

314
00:18:20.080 --> 00:18:21.920
A lot of people feel it in their heart.

315
00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:24.680
And again, this will be described by in different ways.

316
00:18:24.680 --> 00:18:26.880
Some people say, wow, my heart just races.

317
00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:32.200
Other people say my heart beats really hard, like boom, boom, boom.

318
00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:34.960
Some people will say it feels like I can't breathe.

319
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:37.000
My heart's constricting.

320
00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:40.920
Other people will describe it like they're a weight is sitting on their chest

321
00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:42.520
and they cannot get it off.

322
00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:47.080
Everybody describes a little differently, but why is this happening?

323
00:18:47.080 --> 00:18:49.560
Guys, I want you to think about when blood flow increases,

324
00:18:49.560 --> 00:18:53.920
it will pump through your heart and down into your digestion and intestinal tract.

325
00:18:54.280 --> 00:18:56.440
It's why you feel it in your stomachs, why you feel it in your heart.

326
00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:58.160
Guess where else you're going to feel it.

327
00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:01.000
You're going to get hot or cold and clammy.

328
00:19:01.120 --> 00:19:02.280
You're going to get sweaty.

329
00:19:02.280 --> 00:19:03.800
Some people get sweaty forehead.

330
00:19:03.800 --> 00:19:05.240
Some people get sweaty pits.

331
00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:07.360
Some get sweaty palms.

332
00:19:07.360 --> 00:19:10.640
Some people get really cold and clammy because their body just freezes up

333
00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:12.120
immediately.

334
00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:14.880
Guess where else you're going to feel it in your head.

335
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:17.200
Some people, they feel like a cartoon character, whether

336
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:20.240
and just hot, it feels like they went red.

337
00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:21.480
My gosh.

338
00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:24.040
Some people get prickly right on the tips of their ears

339
00:19:24.040 --> 00:19:27.040
because the heat rises so quick.

340
00:19:27.040 --> 00:19:29.120
Some people get blurry vision.

341
00:19:29.120 --> 00:19:31.200
Some people will get dry mouth.

342
00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:34.640
Some people will clench their jaw and they'll get pain right here

343
00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:36.400
and it'll create headaches.

344
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:38.760
Some people get tension right here in their throat.

345
00:19:39.760 --> 00:19:42.720
And a lot of people get tension right here in the back of their neck

346
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.440
in their shoulder area, get tense.

347
00:19:46.280 --> 00:19:48.720
Lots of women get it right here in their throat.

348
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:51.120
Guys, do you know why?

349
00:19:51.120 --> 00:19:54.400
It simulates your inability to say what you want to say.

350
00:19:55.600 --> 00:19:58.640
Or need to say in a space of emotional unsafety.

351
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:08.800
I want you to recognize tremendous amounts of fear come from the physiology of the feeling,

352
00:20:08.800 --> 00:20:14.400
and the reason why is because we live in a society that says if you have a physical symptom,

353
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:21.440
then you have a problem that we need to fix, therefore you are broken.

354
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:28.080
And so we have this terrifying situation going on out there with anxiety where people feel like

355
00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:35.120
if I feel anxious, I have a problem, I am broken, and I need to be fixed. And teens,

356
00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:41.920
oh my goodness, when I work with teens, you should see what happens to them when I explain this and

357
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:47.360
they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So this is like how your body's supposed to work. And I'm like,

358
00:20:47.360 --> 00:20:51.520
isn't it amazing you're working as designed? You just didn't know that's how you were supposed

359
00:20:51.520 --> 00:20:55.360
to work. So if you don't want to work that way, we can fix that. There's some programming we

360
00:20:55.360 --> 00:20:59.840
can adjust. And right now you're working perfectly. And these teens be like, whoa,

361
00:20:59.840 --> 00:21:04.880
whoa, whoa, whoa. So you're saying I'm not broken? Well, you're saying I'm not like,

362
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:11.520
I don't need to be fixed. No, you're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You need to understand

363
00:21:11.520 --> 00:21:17.040
what's happening. Because if we understand that all of that physiology is literally our brain's

364
00:21:17.040 --> 00:21:22.240
attempt to keep us safe, then what would happen if instead of being afraid of that, instead of

365
00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:24.880
saying, oh my gosh, my stomach, oh my gosh, here it comes with my stomach. Oh my gosh,

366
00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:28.320
here it comes with my heart. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Oh my gosh, I have a panic attack.

367
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:33.520
If instead of being so afraid of it, we actually were to understand it,

368
00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:38.880
there is now opportunity to engage with it. Now, ladies, I'm going to throw out a little caveat

369
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:45.840
here, which is this. In the study of psychiatry and social working, there is about, I think the

370
00:21:45.840 --> 00:21:53.280
latest statistic shows about 9 to 11% of the population that chemically require some form

371
00:21:53.280 --> 00:21:58.720
of medication because of just their imbalance requires it. But I want you to think that that

372
00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:09.200
means 90% of us have physical capacity to have control over this. We can do this. We can do this.

373
00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:14.640
And I am telling you from a person who went from hospitalization of panic attacks to someone who

374
00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:19.920
no longer experiences anxiety attacks of any kind and have not for years,

375
00:22:21.360 --> 00:22:27.680
this is something you can get a handle on when you understand it. So I want you to understand

376
00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:34.160
it because I want you to understand what's really happening when we as moms take on business and

377
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:39.360
family and why this seems to magnify because we're like, well, it just seems to get worse.

378
00:22:39.360 --> 00:22:44.000
Well, there's a reason for that. And I want to show it to you. I want to show it to you.

379
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:48.480
So I'm going to, I'm going to share a screen. Can you guys all see a screen, a slide right now?

380
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:55.520
Yep. Everybody's seen a slide. Okay. So I want you to think about this is our window of tolerance.

381
00:22:55.520 --> 00:23:01.360
All of us have, are you seeing the single slide or the two slides? Single slide. We good? Okay.

382
00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:08.160
All of us have this thing called a window of tolerance and it is really our capacity to handle

383
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:13.200
stress. So I want you to think about this window as these two lines right here. And I want you to

384
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:19.200
think about what happens. We wake up in the morning and our kids were waking us up all night

385
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:24.000
long. And next thing you know, our alarm goes off in the morning and we're like, not today, sister.

386
00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:28.160
And we hit the, we hit the snooze button, but that's not great for us because we really actually

387
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:32.160
needed to get up on time to get everything done. So by the time we start our day, we're already

388
00:23:32.160 --> 00:23:36.000
behind in our day and we're just feeling the stress is building. And then we are getting ready

389
00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:40.000
to walk out the door. And our kid says, mom, you're going to be there, right? And you were like, be

390
00:23:40.080 --> 00:23:44.160
where? And then all of a sudden we realized that our child's event that we forgot to put on our

391
00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:48.880
calendar is about to cherry bomb our entire day. And the stress is magnifying. And next thing,

392
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:54.080
you know, we are walking out the door and somebody is literally driving with the intent to make us

393
00:23:54.080 --> 00:23:59.200
late because they have to be, because no one drives that badly naturally. So clearly they

394
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:03.280
know I'm about to be late. And then we walk in the door and there are problems and we're trying

395
00:24:03.280 --> 00:24:07.600
to do our business and it's not going as planned. And that ad campaign that we launched did not

396
00:24:07.600 --> 00:24:10.800
convert the way we thought it would. And next thing you know, we are spending money that we

397
00:24:10.800 --> 00:24:16.560
didn't think we should be spending and we can't take it anymore. And we exit the window of tolerance

398
00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:24.080
can only take so much that right there, guys, is the same experience as our physical experience.

399
00:24:24.080 --> 00:24:27.120
When we're walking down the street and experiencing all of those sensations,

400
00:24:27.120 --> 00:24:32.640
it's getting dark. We hear rustling in the bushes and now the man jumps out same thing,

401
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:37.920
but this is the emotional safety picture we experienced. We woke up late. Our, our house

402
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:42.320
was a mess. We spilled on our favorite shirt. We, we went to do our ad campaign. Didn't go the way

403
00:24:42.320 --> 00:24:46.240
we expected it to. Our product didn't come out the way we expected to. I sat down and I got brain fog

404
00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:54.160
and we can only handle so much. And now the amygdala, the alarm goes off, lid flips. We exit

405
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:59.920
the window of tolerance. Now, why the reason why I want to show you this on the emotional safety side.

406
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.400
is because it comes back to practical tools

407
00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:06.440
that allow us to actually handle this

408
00:25:06.440 --> 00:25:07.300
a little bit differently.

409
00:25:07.300 --> 00:25:10.800
Because have you ever noticed that there are some days

410
00:25:10.800 --> 00:25:13.780
where this window of tolerance feels larger than others?

411
00:25:13.780 --> 00:25:16.140
Some days when you can handle the stress

412
00:25:16.140 --> 00:25:18.640
and other days you just cannot handle the stress.

413
00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:21.200
Well, let's throw a few variables out there

414
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:22.400
that impact this.

415
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:24.820
How about, how big is your window of tolerance

416
00:25:24.820 --> 00:25:26.240
when you have not slept?

417
00:25:27.520 --> 00:25:28.880
Like it is so small.

418
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:30.080
Look how small it can get.

419
00:25:30.080 --> 00:25:31.960
Matter of fact, the Urban Dictionary

420
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:34.600
went as far as to add the word tangry

421
00:25:34.600 --> 00:25:39.600
into its actually defined terms, which is tired, angry.

422
00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:44.640
It defined it because so many people with a lack of sleep

423
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:47.160
have such very little tolerance for stress

424
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:49.360
that they defined this as tangry.

425
00:25:49.360 --> 00:25:52.600
We walk around this world tired, angry

426
00:25:52.600 --> 00:25:54.400
because we're not sleeping well.

427
00:25:55.740 --> 00:25:58.360
Now, how about, how well do you function

428
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:00.480
when you have not eaten anything

429
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:04.320
and you're really, really hungry and the stress is mounting?

430
00:26:05.540 --> 00:26:07.720
This is when you're super hungry and you come home

431
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:09.400
and you haven't eaten all day.

432
00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:10.920
You've been going, going, going, going, going

433
00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:12.080
and your kids walk in the door,

434
00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:13.280
your spouse walks in the door and they say,

435
00:26:13.280 --> 00:26:14.160
hey, what's for dinner?

436
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:16.640
And you're like, lid flips instantaneously

437
00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:18.480
just because they had the audacity to ask

438
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:20.200
because you're already hungry.

439
00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:22.920
And the Urban Dictionary gave us this term as well

440
00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:24.480
called hangry.

441
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:26.240
You've heard of this one, I'm sure.

442
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:29.880
People walk around saying, oh, he's just hangry.

443
00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:31.480
She's just hangry.

444
00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:34.360
These are now defined terms in our English language.

445
00:26:34.360 --> 00:26:35.240
How tragic is that?

446
00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:38.440
Because we are angry beavers when we're hungry.

447
00:26:39.800 --> 00:26:43.600
What this really is is our window of tolerance is shrinking

448
00:26:43.600 --> 00:26:47.240
when we are not taking care of the physiology.

449
00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:48.760
Remember my very first lesson,

450
00:26:48.760 --> 00:26:51.020
we are not emotional creatures and physical creatures.

451
00:26:51.020 --> 00:26:53.080
We are inseparably connected,

452
00:26:53.080 --> 00:26:55.300
which means what happens to one is happening to both.

453
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:58.140
If I don't give this body of mine sleep,

454
00:26:58.140 --> 00:27:00.420
guess what happens to me emotionally?

455
00:27:00.420 --> 00:27:01.380
I will crash.

456
00:27:01.380 --> 00:27:03.220
If I don't give this body food,

457
00:27:03.220 --> 00:27:04.960
guess what happens to me emotionally?

458
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:06.000
I will crash.

459
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.980
If I don't give this body fresh air and sunlight,

460
00:27:08.980 --> 00:27:11.120
guess what happens to me emotionally?

461
00:27:11.120 --> 00:27:12.020
I will crash.

462
00:27:12.020 --> 00:27:14.400
If I don't give this body hydration,

463
00:27:15.540 --> 00:27:17.540
guess what happens to me emotionally?

464
00:27:17.540 --> 00:27:18.700
I will crash.

465
00:27:18.700 --> 00:27:20.780
If I don't give this body movement,

466
00:27:20.780 --> 00:27:22.540
guess what happens to me emotionally?

467
00:27:22.540 --> 00:27:23.500
I will crash.

468
00:27:23.540 --> 00:27:25.580
If I don't give this body protein

469
00:27:25.580 --> 00:27:28.580
and fruits and vegetables, it will crash.

470
00:27:28.580 --> 00:27:29.860
I want you to think about that

471
00:27:29.860 --> 00:27:34.420
because these are practical things,

472
00:27:34.420 --> 00:27:37.220
incredibly practical things we can do

473
00:27:37.220 --> 00:27:40.820
to actually expand our window of tolerance.

474
00:27:40.820 --> 00:27:43.500
See, if it's true that if I'm hungry,

475
00:27:43.500 --> 00:27:45.420
my window of tolerance shrinks,

476
00:27:45.420 --> 00:27:48.340
and if I'm tired, my window of tolerance shrinks,

477
00:27:48.340 --> 00:27:51.220
guess what must also be true?

478
00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:52.660
It's opposite.

479
00:27:52.660 --> 00:27:54.860
That if I give my body good sleep,

480
00:27:54.860 --> 00:27:57.060
my window of tolerance expands.

481
00:27:57.060 --> 00:27:59.860
If I give my body good food,

482
00:27:59.860 --> 00:28:01.780
my window of tolerance expands.

483
00:28:01.780 --> 00:28:03.380
If I give my body sunlight,

484
00:28:03.380 --> 00:28:05.160
my window of tolerance expands.

485
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:09.140
We can actually expand our window of tolerance

486
00:28:09.140 --> 00:28:12.260
in order to actually feel differently

487
00:28:12.260 --> 00:28:15.700
about what is going on in our surroundings.

488
00:28:15.700 --> 00:28:17.060
Does that make sense?

489
00:28:18.060 --> 00:28:19.740
So I wanted today,

490
00:28:20.180 --> 00:28:22.180
I, there's so many,

491
00:28:22.180 --> 00:28:24.300
so many things I can share with you guys today,

492
00:28:24.300 --> 00:28:26.700
but I really wanted to share with you today

493
00:28:26.700 --> 00:28:31.700
some practical things to expand our window of tolerance

494
00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:35.300
and to manage the regulation

495
00:28:35.300 --> 00:28:36.980
of what happens when this lid flips.

496
00:28:36.980 --> 00:28:39.980
I think it's important that you understand the lid flips

497
00:28:39.980 --> 00:28:42.780
when we leave the window of tolerance.

498
00:28:42.780 --> 00:28:44.700
That's incredibly important for us to understand

499
00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:48.340
and important to understand what to do when that lid flips.

500
00:28:48.420 --> 00:28:49.980
So I'm gonna pull this,

501
00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:52.860
I apologize, I'm switching slide decks on us

502
00:28:52.860 --> 00:28:55.660
because I wanna share one more thing with you guys here

503
00:28:55.660 --> 00:28:56.820
on this window of tolerance

504
00:28:56.820 --> 00:28:58.460
that's really, really important.

505
00:29:02.020 --> 00:29:04.420
There we go, right there, that's where I need to be.

506
00:29:05.740 --> 00:29:09.140
All right, so when this lid flip,

507
00:29:09.140 --> 00:29:11.920
or when we exit the window of tolerance,

508
00:29:12.860 --> 00:29:14.780
super important that we recognize

509
00:29:14.780 --> 00:29:16.940
when we exit the window of tolerance,

510
00:29:16.940 --> 00:29:20.680
that is also the same as our lid flipping.

511
00:29:22.060 --> 00:29:24.300
Exit the window of tolerance, that is flipping the lid,

512
00:29:24.300 --> 00:29:26.660
that is taking in all of the sensory experience,

513
00:29:26.660 --> 00:29:28.500
the alarm is going off, boom.

514
00:29:29.580 --> 00:29:31.180
And what happens when our lid flips?

515
00:29:31.180 --> 00:29:34.180
Ah, that's right, our logical, rational brain

516
00:29:34.180 --> 00:29:36.900
not driving the bus right now.

517
00:29:36.900 --> 00:29:38.740
So important because as women,

518
00:29:38.740 --> 00:29:41.100
how many times have you been in the middle

519
00:29:41.100 --> 00:29:44.060
of doing something, you're building something,

520
00:29:44.060 --> 00:29:45.060
you're writing an email and you're like,

521
00:29:45.140 --> 00:29:48.140
I don't even know, I can't even form a sentence right now,

522
00:29:48.140 --> 00:29:49.580
like I was building this creative

523
00:29:49.580 --> 00:29:50.460
and now I just don't even know,

524
00:29:50.460 --> 00:29:51.860
I don't even know what I was saying.

525
00:29:51.860 --> 00:29:54.460
I have been writing this email for 12 and a half years

526
00:29:54.460 --> 00:29:56.660
and I cannot get this thing to sound right.

527
00:29:56.660 --> 00:29:58.780
Or I was gonna go over here and run this,

528
00:29:58.780 --> 00:30:00.380
I had this brilliant idea, but.

529
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.000
I sat down on my computer. I can't think straight. I have brain fog.

530
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:08.800
Um, what else do I hear women call this? Like, I, I, I'm just not creative.

531
00:30:09.600 --> 00:30:12.800
Or they'll sit down and they need to do something with the financials,

532
00:30:12.800 --> 00:30:15.600
but because they've had poor experiences in the past with financials,

533
00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:18.400
they exit their window of tolerance really fast and now they can't think.

534
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:20.640
I got to sit down and do this with the books, but I can't think.

535
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:22.640
I don't know why I can't make two plus two equal four.

536
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:27.280
It's because that window of tolerance takes on a stress,

537
00:30:27.280 --> 00:30:32.080
the lid flips. And when the lid is flipped, this are logical, rational brain, not connected.

538
00:30:33.600 --> 00:30:39.040
That's why it feels like we don't have, like, we can't think we're not in control right then

539
00:30:39.040 --> 00:30:43.680
because we're not now important to recognize that when that lid flips,

540
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:47.760
we have a few different responses. We exit the window of tolerance.

541
00:30:47.760 --> 00:30:53.920
We exit into a place that is called hyper arousal, or most people know this as fight or flight.

542
00:30:54.560 --> 00:31:00.320
Hyper arousal is when we kind of just, we just feel that overstress. Like I have taken in too

543
00:31:00.320 --> 00:31:05.120
much. This happens all the time with women who have been trying to run a business all day long,

544
00:31:05.120 --> 00:31:09.600
keep their crap together, manage their schedule, manage their stress, get something to go right.

545
00:31:09.600 --> 00:31:14.080
And then all the kids come home from school and everything, chaos blows up in the house and you

546
00:31:14.080 --> 00:31:18.960
walk out of your, you walk out of your office and you hear mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.

547
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:24.800
And about the ninth mom, you're like, what do you want? Hyper arousal, overstimulation. It's

548
00:31:24.800 --> 00:31:31.040
a whole thing. We've all done it. It's fine. Right? This happens. Why? Because we're literally

549
00:31:31.040 --> 00:31:35.360
sending our body into fight or flight. Blood rushes to those extremities. We feel it. We feel

550
00:31:35.360 --> 00:31:39.280
it on our head. We feel it in our hands. We feel it in our heart. We feel it in our gut. And then

551
00:31:39.280 --> 00:31:45.120
guess what we do, ladies, this is a problem. Women do this all the time. We feel, we then have

552
00:31:45.120 --> 00:31:49.840
anxiety about our anxiety because we're like, my gosh, I'm not supposed to feel this way about my

553
00:31:49.840 --> 00:31:55.360
own child. And I'm certainly not supposed to respond that way to my kids. And then we, instead

554
00:31:55.360 --> 00:32:01.280
of engaging or helping or honoring what just happened to us, we shove it because now we don't

555
00:32:01.280 --> 00:32:06.960
have time for this right now. So we shove it. And when we shove it, it's important to know we did

556
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:11.920
not just get back in our window of tolerance. What we did was we went into a new state, which

557
00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:18.000
is called hypoarousal. And this is where we kind of, we detach, we zone out, we check out. This is

558
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:22.880
when we start scrolling on phones. We, our children are saying things to us, but we're not actually

559
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:28.000
hearing it. It's like going in one ear and out the other. We're not processing information. We are

560
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:34.320
literally just taking it all in and letting it all go. And from here, we do two things. We freeze or

561
00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:40.720
we fawn. Now freeze again, looks like it's just a shutdown. It's literally like the lights are on,

562
00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:45.440
but no one's home. I am going through the motions. I'm in the kitchen and I'm cooking, but not because

563
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:50.640
I'm using my brain cells, but because I have done it before. I get in the car and I drive carpool,

564
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:54.880
but not because I remember what I'm doing or not because I'm driving consciously. And I can even

565
00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:58.640
get to a destination and think, how in the heck did I just get here? I don't even remember driving

566
00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:05.680
here. Because you are running in a state of automatic autonomic function, but you aren't at

567
00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:11.040
the party. Your kids are saying something to you and you're not hearing them. You can hear them

568
00:33:11.040 --> 00:33:16.000
talking, but you're not hearing what they're saying. There's a detachment that happens from here.

569
00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:20.960
And then we go into fawn, which is people-pleasing. This is when we will do whatever it takes to just

570
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:25.440
avoid conflict. Fine. Whatever. I will just do it. I asked the kids to do something. They didn't. I

571
00:33:25.440 --> 00:33:29.280
can't handle the contention. I'm just going to do it. I asked my spouse or my partner or my ex to

572
00:33:29.280 --> 00:33:32.160
do this and they didn't do it. So I'm just going to do it because I'm going to avoid conflict.

573
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:36.320
And we turn into a martyr. And now our business, we got to do the business and we got to do the

574
00:33:36.320 --> 00:33:40.560
kids and we got to do life and we got to do all the things. And we just have to do it all because

575
00:33:40.560 --> 00:33:46.480
it's just who we are. And we end up in this place. It's important to recognize our lid still flipped.

576
00:33:47.520 --> 00:33:54.320
The lid still flipped. We're not better down there. And most people are like, well, I feel

577
00:33:54.320 --> 00:34:00.960
like I'm calm there. I need you to understand hypo-arousal masquerades as control and it is not.

578
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:07.280
It masquerades as control because we don't feel angry. We don't feel out of control.

579
00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:13.280
The problem is this. We don't feel much of anything. And this is where, when we stay down

580
00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:18.880
there for long periods of time, we end up feeling quite depressed, right? It's a depression of

581
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:25.760
emotion. So this is, this is what happens in these spaces. Now, why is it really important to

582
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:32.560
understand this? Because there are three things that I want you ladies to know that are practical

583
00:34:32.560 --> 00:34:39.280
tools for engaging with this. The first practical tool we're going to talk about is called symptom

584
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:48.320
specific response. Okay. Symptom specific response is when you find out what your body's physiology

585
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:54.880
needs, and then you respond in kind. Now this is kind of cool. And I want you guys to do what I'm

586
00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:58.880
going to call the week of the grand experiment. This is going to be my challenge for you guys

587
00:34:58.880 --> 00:34:59.840
this week. I want you to do the.

588
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.440
Week of the Grand Experiment.

589
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:04.460
And this is where you understand you.

590
00:35:05.860 --> 00:35:08.000
Your job is to understand you.

591
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:09.520
And it starts with physiology.

592
00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:12.360
Every human being, our physiology,

593
00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:13.880
when it responds to stress,

594
00:35:13.880 --> 00:35:17.040
actually starts in the feet, interestingly enough.

595
00:35:17.040 --> 00:35:19.000
And most people don't even catch it

596
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:20.080
until it hits our guts.

597
00:35:20.080 --> 00:35:22.700
That's why a lot of people talk about the stress

598
00:35:22.700 --> 00:35:25.280
in their stomach or in their chest.

599
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:27.080
Most of it's because they don't pay attention

600
00:35:27.080 --> 00:35:29.240
until it rises to that point.

601
00:35:29.240 --> 00:35:31.400
But in every human, it starts in the feet.

602
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:34.760
Some people will notice their feet start just twitching.

603
00:35:34.760 --> 00:35:36.720
For some, their feet will get itchy.

604
00:35:36.720 --> 00:35:38.500
For some, their feet will get sweaty.

605
00:35:38.500 --> 00:35:40.240
For some, they'll curl their toes

606
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:42.360
and start to recognize they're grinding their heel

607
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:43.760
into the floor.

608
00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:44.640
I've seen all kinds.

609
00:35:44.640 --> 00:35:47.700
Some people get tension in their bottom extremities

610
00:35:47.700 --> 00:35:50.240
through their legs, through their butt.

611
00:35:50.240 --> 00:35:52.080
And then they'll get it in their guts,

612
00:35:52.080 --> 00:35:53.640
they'll get it in their heart, their hands.

613
00:35:53.640 --> 00:35:55.920
Like, I want you, experiment number one,

614
00:35:55.920 --> 00:35:59.440
challenge number one is, what are your symptoms?

615
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:02.520
And I say that not because I want you to then say,

616
00:36:02.520 --> 00:36:04.600
oh great, I'm broken and I need to be fixed,

617
00:36:04.600 --> 00:36:07.360
but because I want you to know that you can actually,

618
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:12.320
very practically, engage in a symptom-specific response.

619
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:15.840
If you get really hot, use cold.

620
00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:17.760
Matter of fact, super fun experiment you can do

621
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:19.360
if you have little kids.

622
00:36:19.360 --> 00:36:21.280
If a little kid is throwing a tantrum

623
00:36:21.280 --> 00:36:23.100
and you notice they're getting very hot,

624
00:36:23.100 --> 00:36:24.560
they're getting red, they're getting sweaty

625
00:36:24.560 --> 00:36:26.360
because they've cried so much,

626
00:36:26.360 --> 00:36:29.000
to put a tiny little ice cube in the palm of their hand

627
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:30.380
and just see what happens.

628
00:36:31.400 --> 00:36:32.560
Just see what happens.

629
00:36:32.560 --> 00:36:34.760
Super funny, I was at Disneyland

630
00:36:34.760 --> 00:36:37.880
and this little kid was in a stroller behind us

631
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:40.280
just throwing a tantrum and his poor mom

632
00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:42.360
was just doing everything she could do,

633
00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:44.800
but she was there, she had one arm,

634
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:46.480
with a child, one in the stroller,

635
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:49.640
and I just grabbed a tiny little ice cube out of my drink

636
00:36:49.640 --> 00:36:51.660
and turned around and put it in this little kid's hand

637
00:36:51.660 --> 00:36:53.460
and closed his little fingers around the ice

638
00:36:53.460 --> 00:36:56.220
and he instantaneously stopped crying.

639
00:36:56.220 --> 00:36:58.020
And I just turned back around, didn't say a word,

640
00:36:58.020 --> 00:37:00.240
just stood there in line and this little kid

641
00:37:00.240 --> 00:37:03.220
just staring at this ice in the palm of his hand.

642
00:37:03.220 --> 00:37:06.620
And it shocked his regulatory system,

643
00:37:06.620 --> 00:37:09.740
like it's a sympathetic nervous system response.

644
00:37:09.740 --> 00:37:11.940
It shocked his nervous system and it just made him stop

645
00:37:11.940 --> 00:37:16.060
because the heat was keeping him in a state of delusion.

646
00:37:16.060 --> 00:37:19.060
He wasn't thinking either, his brain was here.

647
00:37:19.940 --> 00:37:21.660
If you're hot, use cold.

648
00:37:21.660 --> 00:37:25.340
With teenage girls, I coach a lot of female athletes.

649
00:37:25.340 --> 00:37:27.340
Literally, I have them take an ice cube

650
00:37:27.340 --> 00:37:30.580
if they're feeling deep anxiety before a performance.

651
00:37:30.580 --> 00:37:33.140
They take an ice cube, put it right down the sports bar,

652
00:37:33.140 --> 00:37:34.540
right between the ladies down there.

653
00:37:34.540 --> 00:37:37.980
It is a fascinating capacity to regulate.

654
00:37:37.980 --> 00:37:39.300
It's amazing.

655
00:37:39.300 --> 00:37:40.960
Okay, ice cold water.

656
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:43.300
If you experience a lot of anxiety,

657
00:37:43.300 --> 00:37:46.140
I want you to have ice water or electrolytes

658
00:37:46.140 --> 00:37:48.580
at your desk all day that you sip on.

659
00:37:49.420 --> 00:37:52.900
Nice and easy with cold that goes down

660
00:37:52.900 --> 00:37:54.420
into your digestion system

661
00:37:54.420 --> 00:37:56.460
and you feel the cold on your hands.

662
00:37:56.460 --> 00:37:58.260
Super practical steps because you got cold,

663
00:37:58.260 --> 00:38:00.220
you got hot, you use cold.

664
00:38:01.100 --> 00:38:03.700
And I want to, and I'm gonna give you guys all one.

665
00:38:03.700 --> 00:38:05.220
There is something that's actually called

666
00:38:05.220 --> 00:38:08.180
a nervous system reset that is literally designed

667
00:38:08.180 --> 00:38:11.460
for all of these symptoms that your body can experience.

668
00:38:11.460 --> 00:38:13.180
And I want you to walk through it with me.

669
00:38:13.180 --> 00:38:15.300
I want you to try it because once we try it,

670
00:38:15.300 --> 00:38:16.780
I'm gonna explain what just happened.

671
00:38:16.780 --> 00:38:17.740
And if you don't try it,

672
00:38:17.740 --> 00:38:19.500
you're not gonna be able to know what I'm talking about.

673
00:38:19.500 --> 00:38:21.980
So we're gonna do it together.

674
00:38:21.980 --> 00:38:23.820
I want you to put yourself someplace

675
00:38:23.820 --> 00:38:25.980
where you can have your feet on the floor.

676
00:38:25.980 --> 00:38:27.800
You can be sitting though, be sitting,

677
00:38:27.800 --> 00:38:29.980
but I want your feet on the floor.

678
00:38:29.980 --> 00:38:31.260
Now, what I want you to do is I want you

679
00:38:31.260 --> 00:38:34.140
to curl your toes under, like curl your toes under like this

680
00:38:34.140 --> 00:38:36.340
and really tense your toes.

681
00:38:36.340 --> 00:38:38.780
And then I want you to lift your feet up onto the heels.

682
00:38:38.780 --> 00:38:41.980
So your toes stay curled, now lift up on your heels

683
00:38:41.980 --> 00:38:45.180
and you can feel that tightness go right up your shin.

684
00:38:45.180 --> 00:38:47.260
And now I want you to flex your quads

685
00:38:47.780 --> 00:38:49.420
while you're sitting there and now flex your glutes.

686
00:38:49.420 --> 00:38:51.820
Like really squeeze that butt ladies.

687
00:38:51.820 --> 00:38:55.880
Now flex the abs, flex the back, flex the shoulders,

688
00:38:55.880 --> 00:38:57.980
squeeze the hands.

689
00:38:57.980 --> 00:39:00.460
And while everything's really tight, keep it all tight.

690
00:39:00.460 --> 00:39:03.780
I want you to take a deep breath in through the nose.

691
00:39:03.780 --> 00:39:05.460
And I want you to keep everything squeezed.

692
00:39:05.460 --> 00:39:06.360
Hold it right there.

693
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:08.740
Now we're gonna spike it at the top like this.

694
00:39:09.740 --> 00:39:11.500
Give me a good spike ladies.

695
00:39:11.500 --> 00:39:13.740
Keep everything squeezing, squeezing.

696
00:39:13.740 --> 00:39:15.220
And now I want you to release it all

697
00:39:15.220 --> 00:39:17.060
through your chest like this.

698
00:39:17.060 --> 00:39:22.060
Oh, and I want you to shake for a second.

699
00:39:22.660 --> 00:39:24.840
Just shake it out for a second.

700
00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:29.840
Ooh, now for everyone you should have just felt this like,

701
00:39:31.580 --> 00:39:34.860
some people will describe it as almost lightheaded.

702
00:39:34.860 --> 00:39:36.860
But now what I want you to pay attention to here

703
00:39:36.860 --> 00:39:38.580
in about three seconds,

704
00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:41.980
what's happening in your mind right now?

705
00:39:43.780 --> 00:39:45.420
Do you notice how calm it is?

706
00:39:47.060 --> 00:39:48.860
Because what you just did was this.

707
00:39:51.460 --> 00:39:53.560
That is what that feels like.

708
00:39:54.700 --> 00:39:58.580
Really important, that is called a nervous system reset.

709
00:39:58.580 --> 00:40:00.020
That is literally a reset.

710
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.480
of your sympathetic nervous system.

711
00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:04.640
And so you'll notice it'll calm your breathing,

712
00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:07.400
it'll calm your stomach, it'll calm you down.

713
00:40:07.400 --> 00:40:11.000
Then if you're feeling hot, put some cold.

714
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:13.120
If you have, and the other reason it works really well,

715
00:40:13.120 --> 00:40:16.240
ladies, is because if you have tension in your jaw

716
00:40:16.240 --> 00:40:18.560
or your neck or your throat,

717
00:40:18.560 --> 00:40:21.600
if you tense everything and then tell your body to release,

718
00:40:21.600 --> 00:40:24.680
your body cannot hold tension in one spot

719
00:40:24.680 --> 00:40:26.680
and release it somewhere else.

720
00:40:26.680 --> 00:40:28.580
It has to release the tension everywhere.

721
00:40:28.580 --> 00:40:32.000
So you can do that three times in a row.

722
00:40:33.380 --> 00:40:36.540
Give yourself like 10 seconds between each time,

723
00:40:36.540 --> 00:40:41.540
and you will notice a deep reset of that nervous system.

724
00:40:41.540 --> 00:40:43.400
So that's challenge number one.

725
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:45.740
Find your symptoms and engage with them.

726
00:40:45.740 --> 00:40:48.100
Do a reset breath, get some ice

727
00:40:49.740 --> 00:40:51.940
or some heat if you're cold.

728
00:40:51.940 --> 00:40:56.860
If you get tense, release into that tension

729
00:40:56.860 --> 00:40:58.500
and release that tension out.

730
00:40:59.300 --> 00:41:01.300
If your heart is racing, take deep breaths

731
00:41:02.180 --> 00:41:03.900
and slow it down.

732
00:41:03.900 --> 00:41:05.060
The reset breathing will do that,

733
00:41:05.060 --> 00:41:07.180
but I want you to engage with your symptoms.

734
00:41:07.180 --> 00:41:08.700
I don't want you to be afraid of them.

735
00:41:08.700 --> 00:41:12.180
I want you to be aware of them and engage with them.

736
00:41:12.180 --> 00:41:13.860
Symptom-specific response.

737
00:41:13.860 --> 00:41:16.660
The second part of the human experiment

738
00:41:16.660 --> 00:41:20.740
is I want you to identify what did you want to do?

739
00:41:20.740 --> 00:41:24.620
So in this space, when we had an emotional response

740
00:41:24.620 --> 00:41:28.980
to the situation, what did you want to do?

741
00:41:28.980 --> 00:41:30.860
Did you want to fight?

742
00:41:30.860 --> 00:41:35.060
Like, did you want to, did you feel a burst of energy?

743
00:41:35.060 --> 00:41:37.380
It's really funny when you describe fight with women,

744
00:41:37.380 --> 00:41:39.220
they're like, well, I don't want to fight.

745
00:41:39.220 --> 00:41:41.880
Like I do, bring me a punching bag all day long.

746
00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:44.660
It's my best friend, but it's because people are so,

747
00:41:44.660 --> 00:41:48.300
again, we have this, we're afraid of this.

748
00:41:48.300 --> 00:41:51.060
I need you to recognize, did you want,

749
00:41:51.060 --> 00:41:56.060
did you feel a push, a release of energy that felt intense?

750
00:41:57.580 --> 00:41:59.260
That is fight.

751
00:41:59.260 --> 00:42:00.260
Did you want to run?

752
00:42:00.260 --> 00:42:02.060
Were you like, I just got to get the heck out of here.

753
00:42:02.060 --> 00:42:05.060
I got, I will be anywhere but here right now.

754
00:42:05.060 --> 00:42:07.580
Anywhere but here, like put me in a hole,

755
00:42:07.580 --> 00:42:10.060
take me somewhere else, anywhere but here.

756
00:42:10.060 --> 00:42:11.780
That is a flight feeling.

757
00:42:13.340 --> 00:42:16.060
Did you all of a sudden feel like I had 14,000 things

758
00:42:16.060 --> 00:42:17.540
to say and not a single word came?

759
00:42:17.540 --> 00:42:19.580
It was like, lights are on, no one's home.

760
00:42:19.580 --> 00:42:20.940
I was paralyzed and inaction.

761
00:42:21.820 --> 00:42:24.060
I could do nothing, I literally could do nothing.

762
00:42:24.060 --> 00:42:27.500
I was like, I couldn't talk, I couldn't make a decision.

763
00:42:29.980 --> 00:42:32.100
That would be freeze.

764
00:42:32.100 --> 00:42:34.420
And if you just went into the same old,

765
00:42:34.420 --> 00:42:36.560
no, it's no, whatever you want, it's fine.

766
00:42:36.560 --> 00:42:38.260
No, I don't need to, no, I don't need to decide.

767
00:42:38.260 --> 00:42:40.880
You decide whatever you need, people pleasing,

768
00:42:40.880 --> 00:42:44.080
avoid conflict, that would be fawning.

769
00:42:44.080 --> 00:42:46.860
I want you to use this week to figure out

770
00:42:46.860 --> 00:42:49.540
which one of these you felt.

771
00:42:49.540 --> 00:42:53.020
And then I want you to try to engage with it.

772
00:42:53.020 --> 00:42:54.700
And what I mean by that is it is something

773
00:42:54.700 --> 00:42:56.700
called finish the cycle.

774
00:42:56.700 --> 00:43:00.100
We regulate emotional response in two ways.

775
00:43:00.100 --> 00:43:04.740
We address the symptoms and then we finish the cycle.

776
00:43:04.740 --> 00:43:06.540
Why is that so important?

777
00:43:06.540 --> 00:43:11.540
Because our body and brain, it released a safety valve.

778
00:43:11.580 --> 00:43:13.700
It was like, boom, I'm shooting this,

779
00:43:13.700 --> 00:43:17.140
I'm going to make sure you know you're not safe right now.

780
00:43:17.140 --> 00:43:18.680
And you shoot out of the window of tolerance

781
00:43:18.720 --> 00:43:20.240
into the unknown and the uncertain

782
00:43:20.240 --> 00:43:21.520
and therefore the unsafe.

783
00:43:21.520 --> 00:43:24.360
And your brain doesn't know this is not helping you.

784
00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:26.960
It has one job to do, send off the alarm.

785
00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:28.120
It did its job.

786
00:43:28.120 --> 00:43:31.160
But when you tell that alarm to shut up,

787
00:43:31.160 --> 00:43:33.080
or when you say, I'm not paying attention to you

788
00:43:33.080 --> 00:43:34.640
because you're annoying me right now,

789
00:43:34.640 --> 00:43:36.480
or I don't have time for this,

790
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.600
what does your brain do with that?

791
00:43:38.600 --> 00:43:39.720
That's not part of its programming.

792
00:43:39.720 --> 00:43:41.360
It doesn't even know what to do with that message.

793
00:43:41.360 --> 00:43:43.260
So do you know what it does do?

794
00:43:43.260 --> 00:43:45.640
It's like, oh, she must not be hearing me.

795
00:43:45.680 --> 00:43:49.280
I will get louder and I will get more obnoxious

796
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:51.160
and I will sound the alarm more frequently

797
00:43:51.160 --> 00:43:53.280
until she and I can communicate together.

798
00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:54.440
That's a great idea.

799
00:43:54.440 --> 00:43:57.640
And then guess what we get to feel all the time.

800
00:43:57.640 --> 00:43:59.080
So when we have experiences

801
00:43:59.080 --> 00:44:01.340
where we leave our window of tolerance and we regulate,

802
00:44:01.340 --> 00:44:04.080
like we do a nervous system reset, we take some breaths,

803
00:44:04.080 --> 00:44:07.480
we drink some cold water, we feel better for a minute.

804
00:44:07.480 --> 00:44:08.960
But I want to describe it like this.

805
00:44:08.960 --> 00:44:10.840
You guys know the car door,

806
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:14.420
the car door, like the back tailgate of an SUV.

807
00:44:14.460 --> 00:44:16.240
You push the button and it comes down.

808
00:44:16.240 --> 00:44:20.520
But it doesn't, if there's something in the way right here,

809
00:44:20.520 --> 00:44:21.660
it doesn't latch.

810
00:44:21.660 --> 00:44:25.860
And the first bump you hit, that things coming back up.

811
00:44:25.860 --> 00:44:28.520
That's kind of like symptoms specific response

812
00:44:28.520 --> 00:44:31.220
will help you close your lid like this,

813
00:44:31.220 --> 00:44:33.720
but it doesn't get it all the way closed at the bottom.

814
00:44:33.720 --> 00:44:35.180
And the next stress you hit

815
00:44:35.180 --> 00:44:37.640
is gonna pop that thing open again.

816
00:44:37.640 --> 00:44:41.060
To go and lock that thing into place,

817
00:44:41.060 --> 00:44:44.580
you need to finish the cycle of whatever you felt.

818
00:44:44.580 --> 00:44:46.420
If you needed to fight, you need to fight.

819
00:44:46.420 --> 00:44:48.100
If you wanted to flight, you need to run.

820
00:44:48.100 --> 00:44:50.540
If you froze, we need to shake it out.

821
00:44:50.540 --> 00:44:53.100
And then we need to honor what we didn't do.

822
00:44:53.100 --> 00:44:56.140
If we fun, we need to make some decisions for ourself

823
00:44:56.140 --> 00:44:56.980
and then engage.

824
00:44:56.980 --> 00:44:59.100
So what does that look like practically?

825
00:44:59.100 --> 00:45:00.100
Fight looks like.

826
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.280
and an intense release of energy for 90 seconds to three minutes.

827
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:05.320
Really important, ladies.

828
00:45:05.320 --> 00:45:07.000
I'm not talking about working out.

829
00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:10.640
I'm talking about honoring your emotions for 90 seconds to three minutes.

830
00:45:11.160 --> 00:45:13.000
Fight can look like air squats.

831
00:45:13.000 --> 00:45:15.680
It can look like punching, punching a punching bag.

832
00:45:15.680 --> 00:45:17.640
It can look like push ups.

833
00:45:17.640 --> 00:45:18.760
It can look like burpees.

834
00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:21.400
It can look like wall push offs.

835
00:45:21.640 --> 00:45:25.520
It can look like if you're if you like to go to a weight room,

836
00:45:25.520 --> 00:45:26.840
it looks like clean and jerk.

837
00:45:26.840 --> 00:45:30.960
If it can look like any intense expression of energy.

838
00:45:32.360 --> 00:45:33.680
Now, really important.

839
00:45:33.680 --> 00:45:36.320
I have women tell me all the time, oh, I don't have time for this.

840
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:38.640
Ladies, you do not have time not to do this.

841
00:45:39.080 --> 00:45:42.600
Do you know what happens with the with my clients that I work with?

842
00:45:42.600 --> 00:45:44.360
They're all business owners.

843
00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:50.160
My client's productivity and efficiency goes up by an average of 40 to 70 percent.

844
00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:53.160
40 to 70 percent.

845
00:45:53.160 --> 00:45:55.800
Why does their productivity and efficiency go up so high?

846
00:45:56.280 --> 00:45:59.640
Because we stop doing work without brain cells.

847
00:46:00.800 --> 00:46:02.880
It's poor work, and we end up redoing it

848
00:46:02.880 --> 00:46:05.720
or it takes us two hours to do what should have taken us 10 minutes.

849
00:46:05.960 --> 00:46:09.120
If you will honor the emotions here and close the lid,

850
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:13.240
take three minutes to do that, then the job you're about to do

851
00:46:13.240 --> 00:46:16.000
will take you the 10 minutes that's supposed to not the two hours

852
00:46:16.000 --> 00:46:18.800
that it will when you're trying to do it without your brain.

853
00:46:20.400 --> 00:46:22.400
Does that make sense?

854
00:46:22.560 --> 00:46:23.640
So I need you to honor this.

855
00:46:23.640 --> 00:46:24.760
Take 90 seconds.

856
00:46:24.760 --> 00:46:25.480
Take three minutes.

857
00:46:25.480 --> 00:46:29.920
Express the emotion and then sit down and do your work.

858
00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:32.960
If flight was your thing, I need you to move.

859
00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:34.800
And what that doesn't look like is pacing.

860
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:37.960
If we pace in a box or in straight lines, we feel stuck.

861
00:46:37.960 --> 00:46:39.480
That makes flight worse.

862
00:46:39.480 --> 00:46:41.840
I'm talking go outside and walk.

863
00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:45.920
Just walk for 90 seconds in one direction and then you turn around and come back.

864
00:46:46.160 --> 00:46:49.600
And while you're walking, I want you to move your mind and your body.

865
00:46:49.800 --> 00:46:51.320
I want you to think of that.

866
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:54.120
Remember that sensory engagement we talked about, how that's part

867
00:46:54.120 --> 00:46:56.560
of the amygdala's job when you're in flight?

868
00:46:56.560 --> 00:46:59.400
I want you to go out and I want you to think of five things you can hear

869
00:46:59.840 --> 00:47:04.200
and four things you can see with your eyes and three things that you can smell

870
00:47:04.520 --> 00:47:07.360
and two things you can touch with your fingers and one thing

871
00:47:07.360 --> 00:47:09.080
you can taste with your tongue.

872
00:47:09.080 --> 00:47:13.240
If you will move your senses and move your body for three minutes,

873
00:47:13.240 --> 00:47:16.640
you will be fascinated by how much better you feel.

874
00:47:17.760 --> 00:47:21.120
If you get into freeze, I need you to shake it up.

875
00:47:21.120 --> 00:47:24.040
And what I mean by that in terms of sensory response is like

876
00:47:24.040 --> 00:47:25.880
sometimes we get into deep freeze.

877
00:47:25.880 --> 00:47:27.920
A lot of women wake up frozen

878
00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:30.280
because they didn't deal with their emotions the night before.

879
00:47:30.560 --> 00:47:33.640
These are you people who have a very hard time getting out of bed

880
00:47:33.640 --> 00:47:35.840
and waking up in the morning feels like hell on earth.

881
00:47:36.080 --> 00:47:38.360
And it happens every morning.

882
00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:40.000
You're often frozen when you wake up.

883
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:41.800
What does it look like to unfreeze?

884
00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:46.320
It looks like gentle sensory stimulation that shakes up the senses.

885
00:47:46.840 --> 00:47:50.320
It looks like touching your forefingers to your fingers like this.

886
00:47:51.120 --> 00:47:54.120
And then taking some breaths.

887
00:47:56.320 --> 00:47:59.400
And then moving my neck.

888
00:47:59.960 --> 00:48:03.000
Starting to shake my legs.

889
00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:05.520
Starting to shake a little bit, maybe a little bounce.

890
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:07.880
And then I can go for my walk.

891
00:48:08.240 --> 00:48:10.240
Then I can do my jumping jacks.

892
00:48:10.240 --> 00:48:13.320
Then I can do some air squats or whatever the movement is

893
00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:15.000
that I'm now feeling like I need to do.

894
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:16.560
I need to unfreeze first.

895
00:48:16.560 --> 00:48:20.640
If fawn is your thing, I need you to write down three things on a piece of paper.

896
00:48:20.640 --> 00:48:22.480
Very important on a piece of paper.

897
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:23.680
Write down three things.

898
00:48:23.680 --> 00:48:26.120
Pick the order and then do all three.

899
00:48:27.160 --> 00:48:29.560
So I write down that I need to and they can be simple things.

900
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:33.560
I need to use the bathroom, eat some lunch and get a drink of water.

901
00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:35.560
Good. Which one are you going to do?

902
00:48:35.560 --> 00:48:37.920
First, second and third choose.

903
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:41.560
OK, I'm going to get a drink of water, use the bathroom, eat some lunch.

904
00:48:41.880 --> 00:48:44.680
Good. Now go and do it in that order.

905
00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:48.560
That literally removes us from the fawn response

906
00:48:48.560 --> 00:48:52.040
because the fawn response is an indecision loop

907
00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:56.440
that forces the brain into a space of lack of lack of capacity

908
00:48:56.560 --> 00:48:59.240
outside of autonomic function to make a decision.

909
00:49:00.040 --> 00:49:02.320
So as we will just engage in these little things.

910
00:49:02.320 --> 00:49:05.280
So step one of our challenge, symptom specific response,

911
00:49:06.120 --> 00:49:08.680
nervous system, reset breath.

912
00:49:08.680 --> 00:49:12.080
If you're hot, take some ice, deal with your symptoms.

913
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:17.280
Step two, figure out what response type you are and engage with it.

914
00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:18.840
And if you don't know, try it.

915
00:49:18.840 --> 00:49:20.160
Try something that does both.

916
00:49:20.160 --> 00:49:22.880
Go for a walk and then 30 seconds in.

917
00:49:23.240 --> 00:49:27.200
Do 10 jumping jacks, do something explosive and expressive and then go again.

918
00:49:28.080 --> 00:49:31.200
If you don't know, like shake it out and then start walking

919
00:49:31.520 --> 00:49:32.880
and then do some jumping jacks.

920
00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:33.760
You can get all.

921
00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:36.480
If you don't know, write it down that you're going to go for a walk.

922
00:49:36.840 --> 00:49:38.960
Go for a walk. Shake it out while you're moving.

923
00:49:38.960 --> 00:49:41.160
Walk. Do some jumping jacks and then come back.

924
00:49:41.160 --> 00:49:43.320
You get all four response types.

925
00:49:43.320 --> 00:49:45.960
I need you to just engage. Try it.

926
00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:48.600
That's going to be your two things.

927
00:49:48.600 --> 00:49:51.400
And then your third thing that I want to challenge you guys to do

928
00:49:51.680 --> 00:49:55.840
is I want to challenge you to expand your window of tolerance with one thing.

929
00:49:56.160 --> 00:49:58.560
I want you to pick either sleep.

930
00:49:58.560 --> 00:50:00.040
And by sleep, what I mean is pick.

931
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.440
a consistent time to go to bed or a consistent time to wake up and be intentional about it.

932
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:12.080
Just be intentional about honoring your body's need for sleep or pick food. Be intentional about

933
00:50:12.080 --> 00:50:19.760
what time am I going to eat or be intentional about protein consumption or be intentional

934
00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:24.640
about sunlight. Do you know one of the most important things you can do is get five to

935
00:50:24.640 --> 00:50:30.400
ten minutes of sunlight first thing in the morning. So if maybe and another important

936
00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:36.960
thing is movement. If you will just pick a time to wake up, go outside for a morning walk for 10

937
00:50:36.960 --> 00:50:42.320
minutes in morning sunlight while you breathe, come back and drink some electrolytes. If you

938
00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:47.520
added that as a five to ten minute routine in the morning, wake up, go for a walk outside in the

939
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:53.600
sunlight and drink some electrolytes. If you did those things, ladies I kid you not, my clients

940
00:50:53.600 --> 00:51:00.480
call that morning routine their biggest game changer ever. They call it magic because of

941
00:51:00.480 --> 00:51:05.600
what it does and how they feel and what they're emotionally capable of doing the rest of the day.

942
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:12.240
Oh my gosh time flies when you're having a good time. I could be here all day with you guys. I

943
00:51:12.240 --> 00:51:19.840
am so passionate about women who run businesses, our moms and our running families. It is, I am

944
00:51:19.840 --> 00:51:26.240
one. I am deeply passionate about empowering women to have it all. Ladies, if somebody tells

945
00:51:26.240 --> 00:51:31.120
you you can't have it all, they're lying to you. You can have it all. You can be amazing

946
00:51:32.080 --> 00:51:38.240
and you can run a beautiful business and you can be a fabulous mom and these things are not

947
00:51:38.240 --> 00:51:44.000
interdependent. They are, they're part of who you are as a human being and if you're intentional

948
00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:50.240
about honoring who you are, honoring the emotions you feel, not owning it like being broken or

949
00:51:50.240 --> 00:51:54.080
feeling like because I experienced these things something's wrong with me, don't own that.

950
00:51:55.520 --> 00:52:00.400
Lean into the fact that we are literally emotional physical creatures. We are spiritual,

951
00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:06.080
emotional, mental beings having a physical experience. Let's honor that and as we engage

952
00:52:06.080 --> 00:52:12.400
with it and not be afraid of it, when we engage with understanding, we can be intentional and we

953
00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:17.120
can have it all. So I will go ahead and leave these last, sorry I didn't leave a ton of time

954
00:52:17.120 --> 00:52:21.120
for questions, but a few more minutes here and you can ask some questions and I'll throw out some

955
00:52:21.120 --> 00:52:25.120
answers. I hope, I hope everybody got something that they feel they can take away from this and

956
00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:32.560
be actionable with. Oh yeah, lots of amazing comments, like tons, tons of gold. Am I right,

957
00:52:32.560 --> 00:52:39.520
ladies? We're all taking gold from this session right here. Yeah, lots of thank yous. I saw a lot

958
00:52:39.520 --> 00:52:46.240
of us kind of look at like, you know, which one do we find ourselves in? Somebody asked, you know,

959
00:52:46.240 --> 00:52:54.400
can that switch, you know, the fight, flight, freeze, fawn? I'm gonna say yes, right? And just

960
00:52:54.400 --> 00:53:01.520
like absolutely know yourself and like take care of yourself accordingly. Yes, absolutely. So we

961
00:53:01.520 --> 00:53:08.320
will all experience all four throughout our life. Most of us have a dominant one and I'll tell you

962
00:53:08.320 --> 00:53:14.240
that freeze and fawn are trauma, trauma learned responses. And what that means is we've had life

963
00:53:14.240 --> 00:53:21.920
experiences or life circumstances or, or trauma, which is defined as a disruption in care,

964
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:27.520
giving something sudden or unexpected happened that made us understand that in those moments,

965
00:53:27.520 --> 00:53:32.720
fight or flight was bad. This happens a ton with teenagers. They come out with some fight,

966
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:37.280
they get in trouble for fighting, but so they try to run and they get the, don't you walk away

967
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:41.440
from me when I'm talking to you. So they can't fight and they can't flight. So what do they do?

968
00:53:41.440 --> 00:53:44.800
They freeze. This is why your teen stands there and scrolls on their cell phone. Like

969
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:48.800
they have no brain cells because they don't, they are in a state of numb disengagement,

970
00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:53.840
scrolling. Why? Because they can't fight. They can't flight. And they learn that behavior. That's

971
00:53:53.840 --> 00:53:59.360
a learned behavior. And we learn this behavior with different people in our lives. You'll notice

972
00:53:59.360 --> 00:54:04.160
that you're like, well, I'm kind of a fighter with everything except this person in my life.

973
00:54:04.160 --> 00:54:10.960
And then I fawn like crazy, or I am a flighter for sure. But I learned in business, I have to fight.

974
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:16.240
So now I'm a learned fighter over here, but I run from everything else. You'll notice that you're,

975
00:54:16.240 --> 00:54:24.000
you have learned your body is a survival beast. It is so powerful. We are designed to survive.

976
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:29.040
So we have learned how to adapt to our various circumstances and we will experience all four

977
00:54:29.040 --> 00:54:33.520
responses. And that's why I said, don't be afraid to do little things that engage all four,

978
00:54:33.520 --> 00:54:37.840
make your checklist of three things, walk outside, do them all a little shake off,

979
00:54:37.840 --> 00:54:43.040
then some walking, then some jumping jacks. Literally, you just got all four in one,

980
00:54:43.040 --> 00:54:49.200
in one perspective thing. So really powerful. And yes, you can experience all of them. And yes,

981
00:54:49.200 --> 00:54:56.480
they can shift over time if we have negative experiences. So good. Um, somebody was,

982
00:54:56.480 --> 00:54:59.760
there was a few asking about electrolytes. Oh, I love.

983
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.280
You guys, electrolytes, I'm not kidding you.

984
00:55:02.280 --> 00:55:03.480
I want you to think about this.

985
00:55:03.480 --> 00:55:06.640
Your brain is made of electrical, electrical charges, positive

986
00:55:06.640 --> 00:55:08.480
and negative cellular structures.

987
00:55:08.480 --> 00:55:11.560
It would make sense then that we would want a really soluble

988
00:55:11.560 --> 00:55:14.280
electrical environment for our brain to function from.

989
00:55:14.280 --> 00:55:18.640
It is it is I mean, the vast majority up here is water, but it's not water.

990
00:55:18.640 --> 00:55:21.160
It's a salt solution based water.

991
00:55:21.360 --> 00:55:24.360
When we provided electrolytes, you're going to feel like

992
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:27.440
I've been operating with my lights on a dimmer switch.

993
00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:31.000
And as I take in electrolytes, it's like it is so cool.

994
00:55:31.000 --> 00:55:32.120
This game changer.

995
00:55:32.120 --> 00:55:34.440
Now, important about electrolytes.

996
00:55:34.440 --> 00:55:35.240
My favorite.

997
00:55:35.240 --> 00:55:39.280
If you can't if you struggle to get them in, there are pills

998
00:55:39.280 --> 00:55:43.480
that are called my favorite Relight, R-E-L-Y-T-E.

999
00:55:43.920 --> 00:55:46.800
Amazon Prime has same day shipping on these bad boys.

1000
00:55:46.800 --> 00:55:47.920
They're pills you can take.

1001
00:55:47.920 --> 00:55:50.640
Now, some people prefer that because they don't like the salty

1002
00:55:50.640 --> 00:55:52.040
taste of electrolytes.

1003
00:55:52.040 --> 00:55:55.560
However, for some people, taking in that much salt in a single dose

1004
00:55:55.560 --> 00:55:57.400
makes their stomach upset.

1005
00:55:57.400 --> 00:55:58.920
So I can't take pills.

1006
00:55:58.920 --> 00:56:00.120
It makes my stomach upset.

1007
00:56:00.120 --> 00:56:03.520
However, I have two types of electrolytes I recommend.

1008
00:56:03.520 --> 00:56:08.040
One is LMNT, capital L, capital M as in Mary and as in Nancy.

1009
00:56:08.040 --> 00:56:10.600
And then the letter T LMNT.

1010
00:56:10.600 --> 00:56:11.680
This is a powder.

1011
00:56:11.680 --> 00:56:15.000
I mix it with twice the amount of water and add ice.

1012
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:16.680
And I sip on it all day long.

1013
00:56:16.680 --> 00:56:19.280
It is so awesome.

1014
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:24.120
If if it's too salty for you, body armor light has an electrolyte pouch.

1015
00:56:24.120 --> 00:56:26.880
It's called electrolytes prime.

1016
00:56:26.880 --> 00:56:28.960
I think body armor electrolytes.

1017
00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:31.240
It's not as salty. Still is good.

1018
00:56:31.320 --> 00:56:35.560
The important part that you're looking for, ladies, is you need all four types.

1019
00:56:35.560 --> 00:56:38.160
You need sodium, magnesium, potassium and chloride.

1020
00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:42.680
Most electrolytes on the market, like your Powerades or your Gatorades,

1021
00:56:42.680 --> 00:56:44.400
they only have sodium.

1022
00:56:44.400 --> 00:56:47.880
So they claim electrolyte status, but they only have one of the big four.

1023
00:56:48.160 --> 00:56:50.320
I need you to get all four.

1024
00:56:50.320 --> 00:56:53.640
OK, so I like that's why I like LMNT.

1025
00:56:53.640 --> 00:56:56.240
I like Relight. Relight also has a powder form.

1026
00:56:56.760 --> 00:56:58.400
It's a taste preference for me.

1027
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:00.960
LMNT tastes better for me, so I like it better.

1028
00:57:02.240 --> 00:57:04.920
And that's what I would recommend in the mornings.

1029
00:57:04.920 --> 00:57:08.160
If it's too salty for you can also take a little bit of crystal light

1030
00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:11.960
and mix them together, and it's actually quite delicious.

1031
00:57:11.960 --> 00:57:13.800
You'll find it as a nice, tasty beverage.

1032
00:57:13.800 --> 00:57:16.960
You'll also find if you are properly hydrated with electrolytes,

1033
00:57:17.120 --> 00:57:19.360
you will crave less soda.

1034
00:57:19.360 --> 00:57:21.360
Soda is a very dehydrating beverage.

1035
00:57:22.120 --> 00:57:23.440
I'm not saying you shouldn't have it.

1036
00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:26.280
You know, the good doctor and I are great friends on the occasion,

1037
00:57:26.280 --> 00:57:28.080
and I have no problems with that.

1038
00:57:28.080 --> 00:57:31.000
And just know that if you have a soda, you've got to double up

1039
00:57:31.000 --> 00:57:34.560
your hydration with water and electrolytes because it will dehydrate you.

1040
00:57:35.120 --> 00:57:38.240
So I'm not I'm not a person who says don't do this.

1041
00:57:38.240 --> 00:57:40.000
I'm just say understand what you're doing.

1042
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:41.600
If I drink a soda, I understand.

1043
00:57:41.600 --> 00:57:42.840
I just dehydrated myself.

1044
00:57:42.840 --> 00:57:44.480
I got to double up on my water intake.

1045
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:47.720
And it was a day that the good doctor and I needed to have a relationship.

1046
00:57:47.720 --> 00:57:49.360
It's fine. It's fine. Right.

1047
00:57:49.360 --> 00:57:51.000
So just understand.

1048
00:57:51.000 --> 00:57:53.560
Act with understanding with yourself.

1049
00:57:53.560 --> 00:57:57.120
Coconut water, I see in the chat, is also a good electrolyte.

1050
00:57:57.560 --> 00:58:00.440
It is a little bit shy in and

1051
00:58:01.960 --> 00:58:04.160
I can't remember if it's sodium that that one's shy

1052
00:58:04.160 --> 00:58:06.800
and it has really quite good magnesium and potassium.

1053
00:58:07.280 --> 00:58:08.880
So you're just looking for the big four.

1054
00:58:08.880 --> 00:58:12.320
Make sure you're getting the big four.

1055
00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:16.800
I would the big four is salt, sodium, sodium,

1056
00:58:16.800 --> 00:58:19.280
magnesium, potassium chloride.

1057
00:58:19.360 --> 00:58:23.800
OK, the one that coconut water, it's chloride that it's it's low on.

1058
00:58:23.920 --> 00:58:24.840
OK, there you go.

1059
00:58:24.840 --> 00:58:27.960
Because I knew it was I knew it was low on one chloride. Yeah.

1060
00:58:29.640 --> 00:58:31.880
And then.

1061
00:58:32.280 --> 00:58:33.280
Hold on, I'm just checking.

1062
00:58:33.280 --> 00:58:35.200
Oh, how to connect with you.

1063
00:58:35.200 --> 00:58:38.560
We dropped your Instagram and you're we're dropping a little bit.

1064
00:58:38.560 --> 00:58:41.960
Somebody asked you have any classes like I do.

1065
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:43.360
Yep. So I do.

1066
00:58:43.360 --> 00:58:46.640
The way I work is I work with either private clients or groups of clients.

1067
00:58:46.640 --> 00:58:50.800
So I work with I have a business women's group that I just work with.

1068
00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:51.920
We just do emotionals.

1069
00:58:51.920 --> 00:58:56.840
We do weekly hour long trainings on just emotional understanding

1070
00:58:56.840 --> 00:58:59.040
and emotional intelligence.

1071
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:01.440
And we apply it in business, meaning

1072
00:59:02.280 --> 00:59:05.600
we apply it in four quadrants, physical, spiritual,

1073
00:59:06.520 --> 00:59:08.040
professional and personal.

1074
00:59:08.040 --> 00:59:11.320
And what I mean by that is we really just teach what we taught here

1075
00:59:11.600 --> 00:59:15.880
and then say, how does that show up in your professional world?

1076
00:59:16.760 --> 00:59:19.160
Does that show up where you're not negotiating well

1077
00:59:19.160 --> 00:59:21.160
because you're getting emotional?

1078
00:59:21.160 --> 00:59:23.240
We're not hiring. Well, we can't hire.

1079
00:59:23.240 --> 00:59:24.080
We can't let go.

1080
00:59:24.080 --> 00:59:26.480
We can't we can't bring on the kind of help we need.

1081
00:59:26.480 --> 00:59:28.000
We struggle with creativity.

1082
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:31.480
We don't do we don't do business coaching at all.

1083
00:59:31.480 --> 00:59:35.320
We just do emotional intelligence and how that shows up in the business,

1084
00:59:35.320 --> 00:59:36.040
if that makes sense.

1085
00:59:36.040 --> 00:59:38.440
So just to kind of put that out there and we do

1086
00:59:39.600 --> 00:59:40.880
we do those types of classes.

1087
00:59:40.880 --> 00:59:44.040
And then I work with private clients predominantly. So.

1088
00:59:44.320 --> 00:59:46.840
Amazing. Awesome.

1089
00:59:48.600 --> 00:59:51.880
Ladies, any other questions you want to drop in the chat?

1090
00:59:51.880 --> 00:59:56.280
I went through and I've just kind of been asking her the questions I've seen.

1091
00:59:56.280 --> 00:59:58.720
But if last minute here, if there's any.

1092
00:59:58.720 --> 00:59:59.960
Oh, I did see one.

1093
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.400
I'm going to address, I have C1 on there that talks about AG1.

1094
01:00:03.880 --> 01:00:05.200
OK, so this is great.

1095
01:00:05.200 --> 01:00:09.040
Micronutrients, huge, ladies, and we don't get enough of them.

1096
01:00:09.400 --> 01:00:12.840
And so I do like AG1 if you like the powdered greens.

1097
01:00:12.960 --> 01:00:17.400
Also, cold pressed greens are another game changer for us

1098
01:00:17.400 --> 01:00:19.360
because we live in a busy world.

1099
01:00:19.360 --> 01:00:20.760
Uber greens.

1100
01:00:20.760 --> 01:00:23.920
So there's one called Suja is a brand, S-U-J-A,

1101
01:00:23.920 --> 01:00:26.520
and they have a drink called Uber greens.

1102
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:30.160
Evolution is another brand, and they have one

1103
01:00:31.160 --> 01:00:33.160
that's also close to that greens one.

1104
01:00:33.680 --> 01:00:37.240
These cold pressed greens are incredible

1105
01:00:37.240 --> 01:00:39.920
for just giving your body what it needs.

1106
01:00:39.920 --> 01:00:43.440
And I would recommend drinking them as a way to kind of break your fast,

1107
01:00:43.440 --> 01:00:46.640
meaning let it be the first thing that you drink in the morning.

1108
01:00:47.000 --> 01:00:49.160
If I could describe what your body does with this

1109
01:00:49.160 --> 01:00:51.760
in terms of the window of tolerance, I want you to think about it

1110
01:00:51.760 --> 01:00:55.760
like putting primer on on drywall before paint.

1111
01:00:55.760 --> 01:00:59.560
If you put paint on drywall without primer, it sucks up all your paint

1112
01:00:59.560 --> 01:01:03.000
and you pay a lot of money because you got to put on three coats of paint.

1113
01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:07.200
If you put primer on, it's a much cheaper base, right?

1114
01:01:07.560 --> 01:01:11.480
And and it literally creates it so that the paint comes on nicer

1115
01:01:11.480 --> 01:01:12.600
throughout the day.

1116
01:01:12.600 --> 01:01:16.720
Micronutrients in a cold pressed green are like giving your body a primer

1117
01:01:16.720 --> 01:01:19.680
so that as you consume proteins and other nutrients

1118
01:01:19.680 --> 01:01:21.640
throughout the day, your body uses them properly

1119
01:01:21.640 --> 01:01:24.080
and gives you energy and fuel for structural support.

1120
01:01:24.600 --> 01:01:28.200
That's tremendously expansive for your window of tolerance.

1121
01:01:28.880 --> 01:01:32.760
So if you can do an AG one or if you can do an uber greens

1122
01:01:32.760 --> 01:01:37.360
or an evolution or a suja in the mornings, it's really, really helpful.

1123
01:01:38.320 --> 01:01:44.000
Would you recommend a pair of that with protein, normal breakfast?

1124
01:01:44.040 --> 01:01:45.400
Anything else?

1125
01:01:45.400 --> 01:01:49.360
Yeah. So the key with the key with proteins, right,

1126
01:01:49.360 --> 01:01:51.920
is that you want to make sure that you're getting your proteins.

1127
01:01:52.280 --> 01:01:54.520
People are like, oh, my gosh, I don't like to eat breakfast.

1128
01:01:54.520 --> 01:01:57.880
It makes me nauseous. But then don't like the deal is this.

1129
01:01:57.880 --> 01:02:00.520
Like, I need you to eat, like, listen to your body

1130
01:02:00.840 --> 01:02:03.280
and you need to consume food, right?

1131
01:02:03.280 --> 01:02:06.280
So if you were to think about it like this, I need you to be consuming

1132
01:02:06.280 --> 01:02:09.680
a minimum of point six grams of protein per pound of body weight

1133
01:02:10.120 --> 01:02:13.240
in order to maintain structural integrity of your body

1134
01:02:13.240 --> 01:02:16.960
and give you the best shot at being emotionally healthy, period.

1135
01:02:17.880 --> 01:02:21.120
So if that looks like that, that your window of eating

1136
01:02:21.120 --> 01:02:23.840
is from 12 to 7 p.m., great.

1137
01:02:25.280 --> 01:02:28.840
There's literally almost no science on breakfast

1138
01:02:29.320 --> 01:02:32.840
beyond the random studies they did in order for General Mills

1139
01:02:32.840 --> 01:02:34.880
to promote cereal in the 70s.

1140
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:36.280
That's the truth, right?

1141
01:02:36.280 --> 01:02:40.160
So the reality is your body needs a certain amount of nutrients.

1142
01:02:40.160 --> 01:02:43.840
And if you create a pattern and it gets used to eating inside of that pattern,

1143
01:02:44.480 --> 01:02:46.760
then you are you will have what your body needs

1144
01:02:46.760 --> 01:02:49.800
because your body will know it's coming.

1145
01:02:49.800 --> 01:02:52.880
And so it's really about establishing patterns that work for you.

1146
01:02:53.880 --> 01:02:55.720
I do need you to consume protein.

1147
01:02:58.520 --> 01:03:01.000
Awesome. I've got I see two more questions.

1148
01:03:01.240 --> 01:03:05.280
Well, when we start all easily, which one of the four would that be?

1149
01:03:06.840 --> 01:03:10.520
If you were to what was that start all easily? Oh,

1150
01:03:11.120 --> 01:03:13.200
well, I did.

1151
01:03:13.200 --> 01:03:17.320
So usually usually what that means is that your lid is a little bit stuck

1152
01:03:17.320 --> 01:03:19.360
in a flipped state of hyper stimulation.

1153
01:03:19.360 --> 01:03:23.360
And what I would highly recommend is is a combined movement

1154
01:03:23.360 --> 01:03:25.040
between fight and flight.

1155
01:03:25.040 --> 01:03:28.120
And I would do that as what I call proactive regulation.

1156
01:03:28.560 --> 01:03:31.720
So what I would do is I would make sure part of your morning routine

1157
01:03:31.720 --> 01:03:34.960
is is at least three minutes that is intentionally designed

1158
01:03:34.960 --> 01:03:36.800
to reset your nervous system.

1159
01:03:36.800 --> 01:03:39.120
So that would look like waking up in the morning

1160
01:03:39.720 --> 01:03:41.280
would literally look like.

1161
01:03:41.280 --> 01:03:43.440
I have multiple clients that do this, by the way.

1162
01:03:43.440 --> 01:03:47.000
So I'm going to give you guys a little a little a little five minute

1163
01:03:47.000 --> 01:03:47.960
morning thing for you.

1164
01:03:47.960 --> 01:03:51.400
So you wake up and just say, hey, Siri, set an alarm for five minutes.

1165
01:03:51.800 --> 01:03:53.400
Siri sets the alarm for five minutes.

1166
01:03:53.400 --> 01:03:56.400
And then you just start with this right here.

1167
01:03:56.400 --> 01:03:58.760
Just start with the gentle touches while you're laying there.

1168
01:03:59.320 --> 01:04:01.080
Look at my Siri started my alarm. All right.

1169
01:04:01.080 --> 01:04:03.840
Here we so we touch these things right here and then we start the breathing

1170
01:04:05.400 --> 01:04:06.880
and then we sit up.

1171
01:04:06.880 --> 01:04:10.440
Now we sit up in our bed and we start to move the shoulders.

1172
01:04:10.440 --> 01:04:15.600
We start to give a little bit of tension, a little stretch, just really gentle,

1173
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:19.800
really important that we recognize that sometimes when our nervous system

1174
01:04:19.800 --> 01:04:23.440
has been stuck in hyper threat, hyper stimulation,

1175
01:04:23.600 --> 01:04:27.400
and we have shoved into hypo and we have done this all day long.

1176
01:04:27.600 --> 01:04:30.360
Our nervous system, it needs a little bit of gentility.

1177
01:04:30.680 --> 01:04:32.320
Like we need to be gentle with this.

1178
01:04:32.320 --> 01:04:35.640
So I want you to think about being gentle with yourself in the morning.

1179
01:04:35.640 --> 01:04:37.840
If you struggle to get out of bed in the morning,

1180
01:04:38.080 --> 01:04:40.160
I want you to be gentle with yourself.

1181
01:04:40.160 --> 01:04:42.240
I want you to start it here.

1182
01:04:42.240 --> 01:04:46.560
I want you to start opening your eyes and taking in sensory experiences

1183
01:04:46.560 --> 01:04:47.000
with your eyes.

1184
01:04:47.000 --> 01:04:50.480
I want you to listen for things that you were not hearing just a moment ago.

1185
01:04:51.360 --> 01:04:54.200
And I want you to sit up and I want you to take some deep breaths.

1186
01:04:55.360 --> 01:04:57.440
And when you're ready and everything's there,

1187
01:04:57.440 --> 01:04:59.600
I want you to do a nervous system reset.

1188
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.200
I want you to take that tension and then that deep breath in the spike at the top and release.

1189
01:05:07.120 --> 01:05:12.560
Shake. Do that a second time and then stand up and start really shaking it out while we're

1190
01:05:12.560 --> 01:05:17.760
standing up and get to the point where you can do something engaging. And ideally that looks like

1191
01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:22.320
jumping jacks. If you have if you have soreness of knees or backs and you can't do anything

1192
01:05:22.320 --> 01:05:29.680
expressive like that, lift knees to chest one at a time and move arms like just move the arms like

1193
01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:34.800
this. Knee to chest. Knee to chest. Knee to chest. Knee to chest. Like move that body until you

1194
01:05:34.800 --> 01:05:38.800
actually start your heart starts pumping a little bit and you actually start to feel yourself get a

1195
01:05:38.800 --> 01:05:43.120
little bit warm and then you're probably done. You're going to notice your alarm's going to go

1196
01:05:43.120 --> 01:05:48.000
off and you're going to be like, wow, like I'm awake and I'm ready and I actually feel pretty

1197
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:52.080
good. What you're going to notice is you just honored yourself for maybe the first time in a

1198
01:05:52.080 --> 01:05:58.560
long time. You honored the emotions that come with life and you honored the stress that comes with

1199
01:05:59.200 --> 01:06:03.280
multiple things stacking. And you honored the fact that you exit your window of tolerance

1200
01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:09.680
multiple times and it's okay for you to give yourself what you need. And if you'll come out

1201
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:16.240
of that, if you feel something from there, like you're like, wow, I want to move, do it. And if

1202
01:06:16.240 --> 01:06:22.800
you feel from that, like, wow, I'm like ready, like let me at the day, then do that too. Honor

1203
01:06:22.800 --> 01:06:28.560
what you feel comes next in that space. But usually what that means is if you startle easily

1204
01:06:28.560 --> 01:06:34.400
or you feel like you, you depress easily, you probably have just been stuck in hyper or hypo

1205
01:06:34.400 --> 01:06:40.800
arousal for quite some time. And you probably have, have live a life where you are constantly

1206
01:06:40.800 --> 01:06:47.920
outside of the window of tolerance. Also remember that window of tolerance represents anything

1207
01:06:47.920 --> 01:06:51.760
upside of that window of tolerance represents something that is unknown and uncertain. And that

1208
01:06:51.760 --> 01:06:56.960
is why our brain delineates it as unsafe. So I'm sure you guys are women of business. You like to

1209
01:06:56.960 --> 01:07:02.960
do vision. You like to do visualization. Those are incredibly important exercises. Even if you do that

1210
01:07:02.960 --> 01:07:08.560
right after you reset, because visualization and vision work replaces the picture here in the

1211
01:07:08.560 --> 01:07:14.480
hippocampus. And if I write about it enough that I know it, it is no longer unknown and uncertain,

1212
01:07:14.480 --> 01:07:20.240
is it? So I can go chase that thing and I can do it inside of safety. So those are really powerful

1213
01:07:20.240 --> 01:07:24.720
points in the morning. Hopefully that helps for whoever needed that. Yeah, that was awesome. And

1214
01:07:24.720 --> 01:07:31.520
you're absolutely right. We do. We talk a lot about casting vision, creating 3d vision, creating,

1215
01:07:31.520 --> 01:07:36.640
you know, many goals to your vision. So I think this pairs so well, right? Everybody like with

1216
01:07:36.640 --> 01:07:44.320
what we exactly like, yes, what we, what we teach and do here. So, um, I saw two ideas for this

1217
01:07:44.320 --> 01:07:51.680
morning reset. What about yoga or standing on vibration plate? So vibration plates work because

1218
01:07:51.680 --> 01:07:56.720
they bring us out of freeze. Like many, many people wake up in a freeze response because they

1219
01:07:56.720 --> 01:08:01.760
did not do anything with the emotions they felt throughout the day. And if we don't honor those

1220
01:08:01.760 --> 01:08:06.800
emotions, we will shove them down into hypo arousal. So what vibration plates are actually

1221
01:08:06.800 --> 01:08:12.160
doing from a space of understanding is they're shaking you like literally shaking you. And

1222
01:08:12.160 --> 01:08:17.600
because of that, they can help us come out of freeze. What they won't do is honor your fight

1223
01:08:17.600 --> 01:08:21.439
or flight response. So after, if you're going to use shaking plates, which I don't have any

1224
01:08:21.439 --> 01:08:26.560
problems with, I've actually had clients use them very successfully. Don't end with shaking and

1225
01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:30.000
assume that's going to work because that would bring you out of freeze. But remember when we

1226
01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:35.439
come out of freeze, we will go up back into hyper arousal to either fight or flight. We need to

1227
01:08:35.439 --> 01:08:42.080
honor the fact that freeze and Foner learned trauma responses. They are not natural. So after

1228
01:08:42.080 --> 01:08:48.240
we come out of freeze, then what we need to, we need to go for a walk or we need to expressively

1229
01:08:48.240 --> 01:08:53.760
release some emotion. Uh, if we'll use the shaking pad with one of those two activities,

1230
01:08:53.760 --> 01:09:00.399
substantially better yoga is going to be really helpful for some people. And yoga could drive

1231
01:09:00.399 --> 01:09:04.880
somebody else insane. Like if you're one of those people who's like, Oh, I tried yoga and I wanted

1232
01:09:04.880 --> 01:09:11.120
to kill somebody. Well, that's because you're a fighter that is now stuck in a position and that's

1233
01:09:11.120 --> 01:09:17.760
not going to go well for you. Or you need to, you either you, if you have exaggerated into hyper

1234
01:09:17.760 --> 01:09:26.319
arousal, yoga is problematic because it's a stuck position. So if I'm a flighter, I need to move.

1235
01:09:26.319 --> 01:09:32.319
And I am stuck in a downward dog. If I'm a fighter, I need to move and I am frozen in a warrior

1236
01:09:32.319 --> 01:09:38.000
position, but I can't hit anything right. Like it's a problem. But if I have regulated, like if

1237
01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:44.560
I go to three minutes and finish a cycle, yoga will be fantastic because my mind will be clear.

1238
01:09:44.560 --> 01:09:49.680
I can engage my muscular structure and I can actually use it to create calm and inner peace.

1239
01:09:50.399 --> 01:09:55.760
I have to regulate first before I can do yoga. Yoga doesn't work well for me,

1240
01:09:57.040 --> 01:09:59.600
but some people, if they've been in freeze for a long time,

1241
01:09:59.600 --> 01:10:00.160
need yoga.

1242
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.000
yoga to actually come out of freeze,

1243
01:10:02.000 --> 01:10:04.180
and then they'll want to go do something engaging.

1244
01:10:04.180 --> 01:10:08.300
So, so you just have to, again, what I want more than anything

1245
01:10:08.300 --> 01:10:12.060
is for you guys to understand the dynamics behind this,

1246
01:10:12.060 --> 01:10:12.880
because then you can think,

1247
01:10:12.880 --> 01:10:14.840
oh, why is it that yoga makes me nuts?

1248
01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:17.760
And you're like, well, because I'm in fight or flight

1249
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:19.680
and clearly being in a stationary position

1250
01:10:19.680 --> 01:10:21.720
is not going to work for that, right?

1251
01:10:21.720 --> 01:10:24.060
But you could also say, oh, I've just regulated that.

1252
01:10:24.060 --> 01:10:26.860
Now I want to find that inner peace

1253
01:10:26.860 --> 01:10:28.980
because I let go of my fight

1254
01:10:29.000 --> 01:10:30.040
and I let go of my flight.

1255
01:10:30.040 --> 01:10:33.440
Now that I can come into yoga, it feels amazing.

1256
01:10:33.440 --> 01:10:35.600
And allow yourself to understand

1257
01:10:35.600 --> 01:10:37.640
what it is you're experiencing,

1258
01:10:37.640 --> 01:10:41.200
as opposed to taking the common world dynamic of,

1259
01:10:41.200 --> 01:10:43.320
oh yeah, well, that's not for me.

1260
01:10:43.320 --> 01:10:44.480
That's just not for me.

1261
01:10:45.780 --> 01:10:47.480
Does that make sense for everybody?

1262
01:10:48.400 --> 01:10:50.660
Yeah, I'm seeing lots of yeses, so good.

1263
01:10:50.660 --> 01:10:52.120
I love how personal this is

1264
01:10:52.120 --> 01:10:54.320
and how you keep bringing us back to like hearing

1265
01:10:54.320 --> 01:10:56.320
our own body, knowing ourselves.

1266
01:10:56.460 --> 01:11:00.100
It's very empowering, I think, for all of us.

1267
01:11:00.100 --> 01:11:05.100
Okay, I've got a part A and B to a question about kids.

1268
01:11:05.200 --> 01:11:09.700
So when my kids, their kids are whining,

1269
01:11:09.700 --> 01:11:11.260
having behavior issues,

1270
01:11:11.260 --> 01:11:13.020
like any suggestions of what to do

1271
01:11:13.020 --> 01:11:16.740
like in that very moment to handle them

1272
01:11:16.740 --> 01:11:21.180
so that I, as the mom, can reset.

1273
01:11:21.180 --> 01:11:23.540
So that's a question.

1274
01:11:23.540 --> 01:11:25.860
And then are these, the similar things you're talking about,

1275
01:11:26.360 --> 01:11:27.360
are they also for teens?

1276
01:11:27.360 --> 01:11:28.760
Would you do anything different for teens

1277
01:11:28.760 --> 01:11:30.760
or is it the same?

1278
01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:32.560
The brain works the same for everyone.

1279
01:11:32.560 --> 01:11:33.560
So people say all the time,

1280
01:11:33.560 --> 01:11:34.920
do you only work with business women?

1281
01:11:34.920 --> 01:11:37.360
So just so you guys know, I have worked with,

1282
01:11:37.360 --> 01:11:39.440
so I've worked with human trafficking victims.

1283
01:11:39.440 --> 01:11:41.520
I have worked with foster children.

1284
01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:44.200
I work once a week in prisons

1285
01:11:44.200 --> 01:11:46.760
and actually go into incarcerated spaces

1286
01:11:46.760 --> 01:11:48.760
and work with incarcerated individuals,

1287
01:11:48.760 --> 01:11:50.760
teaching them these same tools.

1288
01:11:50.760 --> 01:11:52.240
This is human beings.

1289
01:11:52.240 --> 01:11:54.680
Every human being functions like this.

1290
01:11:54.680 --> 01:11:57.340
And so it's so empowering for our teens.

1291
01:11:57.340 --> 01:12:01.060
And what I would recommend with your kids is pay attention.

1292
01:12:01.060 --> 01:12:04.220
Pay attention with a lens of curiosity, not judgment.

1293
01:12:04.220 --> 01:12:05.860
As parents, we tend to look at

1294
01:12:05.860 --> 01:12:08.540
and we focus on behavior, not understanding.

1295
01:12:08.540 --> 01:12:11.900
And the reality is if we try to address behavior

1296
01:12:11.900 --> 01:12:12.800
without understanding,

1297
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:15.620
we will fail over and over and over again.

1298
01:12:15.620 --> 01:12:17.860
If you'll find understanding first,

1299
01:12:17.860 --> 01:12:21.140
you will then start to find behavior can change itself.

1300
01:12:21.140 --> 01:12:23.580
And so with kids, just understanding,

1301
01:12:23.720 --> 01:12:25.400
watching them with some curiosity

1302
01:12:25.400 --> 01:12:28.400
and having some recognition of, oh my gosh, look at them.

1303
01:12:28.400 --> 01:12:30.420
They want to move.

1304
01:12:30.420 --> 01:12:32.240
Okay, my teen needs to move.

1305
01:12:32.240 --> 01:12:33.080
So you know what?

1306
01:12:33.080 --> 01:12:34.680
My next time I have a conversation with them,

1307
01:12:34.680 --> 01:12:35.980
we're gonna walk and talk.

1308
01:12:37.640 --> 01:12:39.440
My teen needs to fight.

1309
01:12:39.440 --> 01:12:40.320
Okay, you know what?

1310
01:12:40.320 --> 01:12:41.560
Next time I have a conversation with them,

1311
01:12:41.560 --> 01:12:42.560
I'm not gonna shut them down.

1312
01:12:42.560 --> 01:12:44.700
I'm gonna honor the fight.

1313
01:12:44.700 --> 01:12:47.120
And I'm actually gonna empower them to fight it out

1314
01:12:47.120 --> 01:12:48.760
and then we'll talk.

1315
01:12:48.760 --> 01:12:50.760
My teenage son is a fight.

1316
01:12:50.760 --> 01:12:53.560
We have a boxing bag hanging up in our basement.

1317
01:12:54.400 --> 01:12:55.660
If he needs to talk about something really important

1318
01:12:55.660 --> 01:12:57.220
and he starts to get heated,

1319
01:12:57.220 --> 01:12:59.260
I will say, I will say, son,

1320
01:12:59.260 --> 01:13:03.180
that emotion is not inappropriate for the situation.

1321
01:13:03.180 --> 01:13:07.180
And it is inappropriate for a conversation with me.

1322
01:13:07.180 --> 01:13:09.140
So how about you fight it out?

1323
01:13:09.140 --> 01:13:10.620
Like go, go ham.

1324
01:13:10.620 --> 01:13:12.620
Go release the snot out of this

1325
01:13:12.620 --> 01:13:14.380
on that punching bag downstairs.

1326
01:13:14.380 --> 01:13:16.020
And then let's talk.

1327
01:13:16.020 --> 01:13:17.500
Like, I want to talk through this

1328
01:13:17.500 --> 01:13:20.080
and I want you to have what you need here.

1329
01:13:20.080 --> 01:13:22.520
And I would be pissed if I were you too.

1330
01:13:22.520 --> 01:13:26.180
So let's fight it out and then let's talk.

1331
01:13:26.180 --> 01:13:27.820
And it's amazing what happens

1332
01:13:27.820 --> 01:13:30.100
after he goes ham on that bag for three minutes

1333
01:13:30.100 --> 01:13:31.600
and then comes upstairs.

1334
01:13:31.600 --> 01:13:33.940
We have beautiful conversations

1335
01:13:33.940 --> 01:13:36.700
and they're regulated conversations.

1336
01:13:36.700 --> 01:13:37.960
With little, little kids,

1337
01:13:37.960 --> 01:13:39.740
we see this all the time with little kids.

1338
01:13:39.740 --> 01:13:41.940
I will watch kids throwing tantrums

1339
01:13:41.940 --> 01:13:43.840
and they're hot as can be.

1340
01:13:43.840 --> 01:13:46.540
I can't tell you the number of, how simple.

1341
01:13:46.540 --> 01:13:48.700
With little kids, they get so hot

1342
01:13:48.700 --> 01:13:51.740
and they will scream and they get hotter.

1343
01:13:51.740 --> 01:13:54.240
And cold water and ice

1344
01:13:54.240 --> 01:13:55.680
and getting them to drink something

1345
01:13:55.680 --> 01:13:57.960
and engaging their parasympathetic nervous system

1346
01:13:57.960 --> 01:13:59.880
is just little tiny things.

1347
01:13:59.880 --> 01:14:01.220
They make big differences.

1348
01:14:02.800 --> 01:14:04.860
So good.

1349
01:14:04.860 --> 01:14:07.640
Do we do a reset before we switch roles?

1350
01:14:07.640 --> 01:14:09.400
Like if we're talking-

1351
01:14:09.400 --> 01:14:11.760
If you're smart, yes.

1352
01:14:13.720 --> 01:14:15.520
So I do, I mean, I would always,

1353
01:14:15.520 --> 01:14:18.540
before I leave my office, for sure,

1354
01:14:18.540 --> 01:14:21.580
there is, I'm very intentional

1355
01:14:21.580 --> 01:14:25.520
about allowing myself to reset before I go back out there

1356
01:14:25.520 --> 01:14:28.080
and allowing myself to finish a cycle.

1357
01:14:28.080 --> 01:14:30.880
Like if I need to, I will burpee it out.

1358
01:14:30.880 --> 01:14:32.720
I had one child who every time

1359
01:14:32.720 --> 01:14:34.280
he would come home from school,

1360
01:14:35.540 --> 01:14:37.600
I would watch him and he and I would come home

1361
01:14:37.600 --> 01:14:39.040
and we would regulate together.

1362
01:14:39.040 --> 01:14:40.280
And we didn't call it regulation.

1363
01:14:40.280 --> 01:14:41.100
He didn't know what it was.

1364
01:14:41.100 --> 01:14:42.200
He just knew that mom and he

1365
01:14:42.200 --> 01:14:44.520
were having a three minute pushup contest

1366
01:14:44.520 --> 01:14:47.120
every day after school because he was my little fighter.

1367
01:14:47.120 --> 01:14:48.700
And if he came home from school

1368
01:14:48.700 --> 01:14:50.880
and anything was emotional, I was about to fill it.

1369
01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:51.820
He was about to fill it.

1370
01:14:51.820 --> 01:14:53.420
We were both about to fill it.

1371
01:14:53.420 --> 01:14:55.420
So when he'd come home from school,

1372
01:14:55.420 --> 01:14:56.360
I would say, all right, let's go.

1373
01:14:56.360 --> 01:14:57.300
We'd turn on the timer.

1374
01:14:57.300 --> 01:14:59.220
We'd turn on our favorite song,

1375
01:14:59.220 --> 01:15:00.060
and we just went-

1376
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.320
am for three minutes and then we'd be laying on the floor exhausted.

1377
01:15:03.320 --> 01:15:04.800
And I'd say, oh, tell me about your day.

1378
01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:06.440
And he would just tell me all about his day.

1379
01:15:06.440 --> 01:15:08.560
And two minutes later, we were both feeling good.

1380
01:15:09.080 --> 01:15:14.600
And and it works like engage with your kids, like recognize their needs for this.

1381
01:15:14.600 --> 01:15:17.800
And if you'll engage with them, it's just good things.

1382
01:15:18.240 --> 01:15:19.960
Good things can happen.

1383
01:15:19.960 --> 01:15:21.600
No, I love that.

1384
01:15:21.600 --> 01:15:24.240
I love how just easy that was.

1385
01:15:24.640 --> 01:15:28.760
Well, it's it's so practical, you guys, like we we complicate this so much

1386
01:15:28.760 --> 01:15:32.440
because we've been afraid of it for so long and we have not understood it.

1387
01:15:32.440 --> 01:15:34.160
We just have felt it.

1388
01:15:34.160 --> 01:15:37.240
And it's attacked our physiology and it's attacked our lives

1389
01:15:37.240 --> 01:15:41.640
and it's it's attacked our well-being and it has created paralyzing fear.

1390
01:15:42.160 --> 01:15:46.560
And if we just understand it, we can we can do so many practical,

1391
01:15:46.560 --> 01:15:51.440
simple things and we can we can truly can be empowered to work with it.

1392
01:15:53.120 --> 01:15:55.400
So good. Wow.

1393
01:15:55.880 --> 01:16:00.640
Everybody, can we just get can we just say thank you in the chat to Nadi?

1394
01:16:00.640 --> 01:16:02.080
Thank you so much.

1395
01:16:02.080 --> 01:16:02.800
You're welcome.

1396
01:16:02.800 --> 01:16:03.840
What was this, y'all?

1397
01:16:03.840 --> 01:16:06.560
Like you were just like hitting our hearts here.

1398
01:16:06.920 --> 01:16:11.960
And it's we're never too old or too young or too smart or too

1399
01:16:11.960 --> 01:16:14.720
like, you know, tired to remember these things.

1400
01:16:14.720 --> 01:16:16.680
I need constant reminders.

1401
01:16:16.680 --> 01:16:20.200
I took like so many notes here and I'm like, oh, yeah, I can incorporate this.

1402
01:16:20.200 --> 01:16:24.920
And I love wasn't it so powerful if you all caught this when she said

1403
01:16:25.160 --> 01:16:29.520
we can't afford not to do these things.

1404
01:16:30.560 --> 01:16:34.280
We talk a lot about time, like, you know, being in lack thinking

1405
01:16:34.280 --> 01:16:36.160
I don't have enough time. Right.

1406
01:16:36.160 --> 01:16:38.760
Well, that's just that's just not true.

1407
01:16:38.760 --> 01:16:39.720
We can't.

1408
01:16:39.720 --> 01:16:42.880
These are such simple things that just shift in our lives

1409
01:16:42.880 --> 01:16:45.240
that affect literally every part of us.

1410
01:16:45.640 --> 01:16:49.280
So so thank you so much, Nadi.

1411
01:16:49.280 --> 01:16:53.040
I dropped your information on how to connect with you.

1412
01:16:53.040 --> 01:16:55.280
Actually, Tammy, can you drop it again one more time?

1413
01:16:56.560 --> 01:16:59.640
I somebody asked if you had a podcast, but I believe you have a YouTube

1414
01:16:59.640 --> 01:17:01.840
channel right now, right?

1415
01:17:01.840 --> 01:17:05.160
Yeah, right. Right now, I pretty much do just the group coaching

1416
01:17:05.600 --> 01:17:07.560
group and private coaching right now.

1417
01:17:07.560 --> 01:17:11.360
I do have a you I do have a YouTube channel, but it's it's dominantly more

1418
01:17:11.360 --> 01:17:15.040
for moms and it's it's directly attached to them

1419
01:17:15.040 --> 01:17:18.000
having children that are out serving religious missions.

1420
01:17:18.000 --> 01:17:21.720
So we have a lot of moms whose kids go out and they they go

1421
01:17:21.720 --> 01:17:24.440
they leave the country or they go adulting all of a sudden

1422
01:17:24.440 --> 01:17:26.560
and everything changes and their world falls apart

1423
01:17:26.560 --> 01:17:28.400
and they don't know how to handle it as a mom and their kids

1424
01:17:28.400 --> 01:17:29.560
don't know how to handle it.

1425
01:17:29.560 --> 01:17:31.920
I've had a lot of people tell me it's incredibly valuable

1426
01:17:31.920 --> 01:17:34.760
for if they have kids going to college or even entering high school.

1427
01:17:34.760 --> 01:17:37.400
So that's valuable if that's if that's up your alley

1428
01:17:37.400 --> 01:17:39.400
or that's part of what your life deals with.

1429
01:17:39.400 --> 01:17:44.160
I also have I have a digital product that you can kind of learn all of this

1430
01:17:44.160 --> 01:17:48.200
on a kind of a do it yourself basis on a sendy.com.

1431
01:17:48.200 --> 01:17:49.480
It's called Level Up.

1432
01:17:49.480 --> 01:17:53.080
And people will do that as kind of a self-guided study course as well.

1433
01:17:53.120 --> 01:17:55.760
So those are kind of some of the the tools I have access to.

1434
01:17:57.160 --> 01:18:00.720
Awesome. Well, we're so thankful to be connected with you

1435
01:18:00.720 --> 01:18:04.800
and thank you for the OK, they're asking, OK,

1436
01:18:04.800 --> 01:18:07.440
the link for the digital product was just dropped.

1437
01:18:07.480 --> 01:18:09.800
So that's it's that's a little bit wrong.

1438
01:18:09.800 --> 01:18:12.400
That's ascended.com. It's ascend eq.

1439
01:18:12.560 --> 01:18:17.320
So it's ascend eq.com.

1440
01:18:18.320 --> 01:18:20.360
There we go. Yeah, there we go.

1441
01:18:20.400 --> 01:18:22.320
Sorry, I think it corrected it for me.

1442
01:18:22.320 --> 01:18:23.480
Oh, no, you got to have it.

1443
01:18:23.480 --> 01:18:24.720
Now you're missing the D.

1444
01:18:24.720 --> 01:18:27.920
Ascend eq.com.

1445
01:18:27.920 --> 01:18:29.920
That's close, though. You're getting closer each time.

1446
01:18:32.120 --> 01:18:33.240
Corrected it for me.

1447
01:18:33.240 --> 01:18:37.480
And then that's right. Yes, that's correct.

1448
01:18:37.520 --> 01:18:40.240
Yeah, that's the one. Yeah.

1449
01:18:40.240 --> 01:18:42.440
All right. So everyone grab that link.

1450
01:18:42.440 --> 01:18:44.880
And yeah, thank you so much.

1451
01:18:44.920 --> 01:18:46.040
You're very welcome.

1452
01:18:46.080 --> 01:18:47.480
I always like to say this.

1453
01:18:47.480 --> 01:18:49.400
Take a moment at the end to just honor you,

1454
01:18:50.040 --> 01:18:53.400
Natty, for all the work you've done and the mission you're on.

1455
01:18:53.440 --> 01:18:58.560
And I think it's so powerful as women to just see each other,

1456
01:18:58.560 --> 01:19:02.000
you know, killing it, stepping up, stepping into your CEO identity

1457
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:03.720
and and saying you can have it all.

1458
01:19:03.720 --> 01:19:05.080
That's what we believe here.

1459
01:19:05.080 --> 01:19:08.760
And we're all on a mission to, you know, be able to do

1460
01:19:08.760 --> 01:19:12.160
all the things that God is calling us to and that we're passionate about,

1461
01:19:12.160 --> 01:19:13.800
which is a lot of roles sometimes.

1462
01:19:13.800 --> 01:19:15.680
Yeah, that's for sure.

1463
01:19:15.680 --> 01:19:18.360
Yeah. We honor you and thank you for your time

1464
01:19:18.360 --> 01:19:20.960
and thank you for your yeses to get where you're at

1465
01:19:21.480 --> 01:19:23.320
and that you didn't stay.

1466
01:19:23.320 --> 01:19:27.840
You know, you you took your story and you found solutions

1467
01:19:27.840 --> 01:19:30.040
and you saw the other side of it.

1468
01:19:30.040 --> 01:19:32.080
I think a lot of people get stuck there and you did it.

1469
01:19:32.080 --> 01:19:34.200
And so you're here to share that.

1470
01:19:34.200 --> 01:19:35.000
And you're on a mission.

1471
01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:37.400
So we just honor you. We honor you, too.

1472
01:19:37.640 --> 01:19:38.680
Thank you. Yeah.

1473
01:19:38.680 --> 01:19:42.040
If I could leave my final word here would just be ladies like,

1474
01:19:42.040 --> 01:19:43.200
please remember. Yes.

1475
01:19:43.240 --> 01:19:46.760
And but we we live in a world of yes.

1476
01:19:46.760 --> 01:19:50.080
But this is this is what's going on in my life.

1477
01:19:50.480 --> 01:19:52.560
But and or so, yes.

1478
01:19:52.560 --> 01:19:54.000
So so this what's going on in my life.

1479
01:19:54.000 --> 01:19:56.720
So I can't do that.

1480
01:19:56.720 --> 01:19:59.760
Yes, this is happening, but I can't do anything about it.

1481
01:19:59.800 --> 01:20:00.000
There's.

1482
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.680
So many yes, buts and yes, sos.

1483
01:20:01.680 --> 01:20:04.160
Like I want you to live a life of yes and.

1484
01:20:05.280 --> 01:20:08.900
Like every story on this call has so much going on.

1485
01:20:08.920 --> 01:20:13.360
I am confident there's a hundred things in your lives right now that are hard.

1486
01:20:14.000 --> 01:20:14.680
Yes.

1487
01:20:15.680 --> 01:20:21.960
And if we let the hard win, then what we just have harder.

1488
01:20:23.640 --> 01:20:28.040
So yes, life is not a cakewalk and it's not a fairy tale.

1489
01:20:28.680 --> 01:20:31.440
And we can do amazing things in it anyways.

1490
01:20:32.640 --> 01:20:34.880
So please, please live in the world of yes.

1491
01:20:34.880 --> 01:20:39.160
And boom.

1492
01:20:44.960 --> 01:20:46.360
And thanks for having me.

1493
01:20:46.600 --> 01:20:47.880
Thank you.

1494
01:20:48.120 --> 01:20:48.880
All right, everyone.

1495
01:20:48.880 --> 01:20:52.520
The replays will be available in the app, so you can grab this and you have

1496
01:20:52.520 --> 01:20:55.760
her information to connect with her and thank you everyone.

1497
01:20:55.760 --> 01:20:57.320
Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday.

1498
01:20:58.040 --> 01:20:59.360
Bye.