Right. Hi, welcome. It's so good to be here with all of you tonight. Welcome, welcome.
Who is joining us for your first live session tonight? If you can put that in the chat for
me, we want to welcome you. Totally fine. Sandy Zimmerman, if you're not able to participate
a lot, we're just glad you're here. And sometimes I totally understand. We just need to listen
in. Mandy Jacoby is new for the first time tonight. Welcome. Hi. And let's see. Christina
Bernard's new tonight. Welcome. I'm looking for you on the screen. I know that your name
is here. Oh, you're right at the top there. Hi, Christina. Good to see you. Anyone else
new? You're joining us for the first time tonight. Emily, hi. Welcome. Kim is new for
tonight. Anyone else? Welcome back for all my ladies that have been here before. Audrey,
hi. Welcome. Sarah, yeah. Welcome back. Hi. Hi, ladies. All my ladies that have been
here for a few weeks. Some of you may be a little longer. We trust God's process and
the heart work, don't we? We trust him. And it's such a great thing. Katherine and I'm
guessing that's Katherine Clark. You're new tonight. Let's see here. Oh, thank you, Helen.
All right. For those that don't know me, I'm Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master heart
work coaches here in our community. Super excited to just be on this journey with all
of you and get a little glimpse of what God's doing in your life in this season. We absolutely
believe 100% that God has divinely led you here. And so we enjoy being here on this journey
with you. Some days it's going to feel hard, ladies. I'm just going to let you know that's
part of the process, but just don't give up. That's one very important thing in your process
is to just never give up. So when you feel the feels, let yourself feel them. Even if
it's anger, if it's tears, if it's just pain, just know that you're not going to stay there
forever. One of the things I love to say in this journey is that you're not going to
be in the ICU for long term. Some of you, that's what it's going to feel like. It's
going to feel like you're having major surgery, but praise the Lord. The Lord is good all
the way through. And some of that, he's going to do supernaturally while you're sleeping.
Some of that, it's going to be on your way through the process. And so I want to just
encourage you, if you are dealing with any of those kind of things, just know that it's
very normal. Okay? And just come into the group, share with us. We can coach you through
that. You're not alone. Really important that you know that. We're here to cheer you on,
to pray for you, to coach you, to see you all the way through. A couple really quick
announcements, housekeeping items for you all tonight. I want to, I did this earlier
today. I shut the app down right before I logged in, but I actually need to show you
something in it. So bear with me. I have a bunch of stuff open here. All right. Come on.
Okay, when you all are in the HeartWork, now this is my desktop version, but you all will
have this tab in your app as well. What I want to point out is this announcements tab.
This tab is where we put anything that we want to make sure you know about right away.
So if you didn't know that, that's an easy way to get to the roll call post that we put
up every Sunday. What that's for is for us to get a weekly touch point with you. Like,
how's it going? What week are you working on? What are you processing? All of those
things. But we're also tying that into Supernatural Saturday when we put that up. So
that hopefully helps you process that Supernatural Saturday content more. I put the
reminder for our session up here every week. I take it back down after we're done on
Mondays. But y'all, there's the video here from Jackie. You can see that under the
community tab as well. But I want you to see that these are all here for you. So
anything important that we are going to announce to your group or to the community, if
it's being announced across every phase of our community, we will put it up and we'll pin
it. And that's what you're going to see in the announcements tab. One of the other
things just to familiarize yourself with our resources tab that does have the access to
our last year's single affiliate program code. If you want to refer someone, we do have
an affiliate program. That means that we give you money back for referring someone to us.
And then also our last year single cruise. That's where you can sign up for that. And
then when you complete the heart work, OK, that's key. It gives you the instructions of
what to do there to move to phase two. So on that note, I want to encourage you all. I say
this a lot. So my ladies that have been here for a while, bear with me, but it's important
for all of our new ladies. Best practice is five.
I have weeks for heart work, okay?
You can take longer,
but we don't really want you going faster.
Now, we're not going to baby gate you.
You have to do this yourself.
We are going to try to encourage you.
If you try to finish heart work in two weeks,
we're gonna encourage you to stay.
We are, but we can't force you.
But we really believe in one week of content per week.
No less than that is the recommendation.
And here's part of the reason why.
Even if you've done a heart healing
for a very long time before you came here,
that's what I did before I came into the program.
We know that God is his supernatural hand
and grace is on this movement
and on this program and community.
And you are going to get more breakthrough here
if you will give yourself the grace
and the space to receive it, right?
So if we go through and we're like,
yeah, I got that, I got that, I got that.
And we're just flying through.
And even some of you are really intentionally,
you're watching the videos, you're reading,
but you're going so fast
that you're not allowing yourself time to process
and digest like, what is God saying to you?
So I wanna encourage you,
if you've been going a little quick, slow down.
We love you.
We just, we wanna make sure
that you get everything that God has for you in this season.
And some people are really afraid
they're gonna miss out on the men
and they fly through heart work.
And you all, I'm just sincerely telling you,
and I told the afternoon group the same thing.
I have seen so many people derail themselves by doing that,
by going really fast through heart work
and starting to date people while they're in heart work.
We do ask you to press pause on dating
and pursuing romantic conversations with men
while you're here in the heart work.
Here's why.
Even if a really amazing guy comes into your life,
if he's healthy,
he will wait for you to finish the heart work.
He will, I promise.
And so you can kindly say, you're really awesome.
I'm on this amazing journey called the heart work
and I need, I'm taking some time for that.
And so I really have enjoyed talking to you,
but I would love to circle back
and continue this conversation when I finished that journey.
And if he's a healthy person, he's gonna respond.
He's gonna be supportive.
He's gonna think that's awesome
because every healthy man wants a healthy woman, y'all.
Okay?
All right, so keep that in mind.
Don't try to rush, take your time.
And then also just wanna give you a heads up
on Supernatural Saturdays up under the replay.
If y'all haven't heard it yet, it's amazing as always.
I'm not gonna go far into that
because it's there, you can listen to it.
Single city groups,
when these are talked about during our all community stuff,
so Supernatural Saturday is one of those things.
Single city groups, we want anybody in heart work
to wait until you get to the next phase
to join those groups.
It's not that we don't want you to have community.
Okay, so don't believe any lies of the enemy.
But again, we don't want you getting distracted
away from what God has you here for in the heart work.
Okay, so if you all did request to join those groups
and you're just now in heart work
or you've been in heart work for a few weeks,
we're just gonna wait until you get to the next phase
to approve those.
So I just want you to know that.
And then the last one I have for you
is some people have been really diving into scripture,
which is amazing after Jackie releases
some of those truth bombs like this last Saturday,
you know, the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy
and how she said, hey, y'all,
did you know that's not about Satan, the enemy,
it's actually about religious people.
And so we had some people diving into scripture,
which is amazing.
But here's the thing, do that.
We want you to do that for yourselves.
And I know that the person that some people,
it's not just one,
we've actually had it happen in all of our phases,
but people are diving into scripture
and then they're wanting to come
and share those jewels with other people.
And that's a beautiful thing,
but we don't have time to go through all of that
and make sure it's actually 100% accurate
and can be up in our community.
So just wanna let you know,
if you have put up a post like that,
we have had to take it down
and it's not because we didn't love what you said
or any of that kind of stuff,
but that's just one of the guardrails
we have in our community, okay?
And here's another reason why, ladies.
Jackie has said this even during the challenge
and she'll say it throughout the program.
A lot of times, and we see this well into people
that are in our all community group.
Sometimes people are so busy helping everybody else,
teaching, advising, coaching.
And I don't think this person was in this place,
but I just feel like it's a teachable moment, okay?
I don't even remember, I apologize.
I don't remember the name of the person
that put it up in the heart work,
but when we're so busy helping everyone else,
a lot of time, we're not actually taking time
to focus on our own.
on heart work. And so when you all are in the heart work, we ask you to take off your
helper hats, any coaching, advising, counseling, hats, leading, teaching, you all don't have
to do any of that here. Okay. That's, that's what my job is. Okay. I can coach you. I can
give you the, Hey, I encourage you to do these things, um, and teach. Um, but you guys just
get to receive. That's what you're here to do, to receive and encourage one another and
get to know these amazing sisters in your community, make friends. That's what you're
here to do. Okay. So that is all of my housekeeping. Thanks for bearing with me. I try to do it
as fast as I could. Let me pray for us, father. Thank you. Thank you for your grace. Even
as I'm leading tonight, Lord, we need you. We can't do any of this without you apart
from you. We thank you for your grace. We thank you for your vision. We thank you for
new insights and revelation being unveiled and, and Lord, anything in darkness being
brought to the light tonight so that we can hear what your spirit is saying. God, I thank
you that you would remove barriers and, and obstacles and things that have kept us stuck.
Lord, we thank you. Yes, Lord, that you're rewriting our stories and that you're making
everything new. God, we thank you that the latter rain of our lives is going to be greater
than the former. We thank you, God, that you're, you're even just pouring rain over
our spirits and refreshing us from the inside out. Lord, we thank you that you would lead
us into all truth and anoint us for all of our lives and walk in calling and lead us
deeper into the revelation of who Jesus Christ is a little bit more tonight. Holy spirit,
we thank you for your presence here. Come and have your way, move all about the conversations
and about the room tonight and all those that would watch the replay. Lord, we just,
Holy spirit, we just ask for your presence to be upon them as well. In Jesus name. Amen.
Amen. Amen. So tonight we're talking ladies about confession and repentance. That's where
we're going this evening. And so I'm really excited to start the conversation with something
I heard before I got on tonight. I was praying. Uh, I actually wasn't feeling a hundred percent.
I'm fine, but just female stuff. Wasn't feeling a hundred percent this afternoon. So just
was really praying like, Lord, I need energy from the spirit. I need you. I need you to
come in and just take control tonight and just, Lord, what do you have for the group
tonight? And, and I heard him say, and I don't know if this is for one person or multiple,
but this is what I heard him say. You don't have to keep the secret anymore. That's what
I heard him say. And so I asked the Lord, I said, okay, Lord, is there anything else
I need to know about that? And he just said, just tell them that they don't have the seat
to, they don't have to keep the secret anymore, that it's okay to come out of hiding. And
so I just, I'm releasing that out of obedience for whoever that's for. Again, it could be
someone here live. It could be someone that's going to watch the replay, but if there's
any area of your life where you've just felt a lot of shame, guilt, or condemnation or
whatever has caused you to feel like you couldn't release that, God is saying it's
safe to come out. It's safe to talk about it in a safe place. And I want to encourage
you to step into that this week, tonight, start the process tonight. And on that note,
where we're going after that is this. We don't always know why, the why behind the what.
We don't always know why we do what we do. Paul talks about this in the Bible. He says,
so many times, you know, I'm wanting to do one thing, but then my flesh is leading me
to do something else and all of that. And so we feel that war between the spirit and
the flesh, that constant tension. And y'all, that's a normal part of walking into being
a Christian and walking as a disciple and becoming sanctified and set apart. You know,
we give our lives to Jesus Christ and we become Christians in that moment, but so many people
don't allow themselves to go through that healing and sanctification and that redemption
process. And so I want to encourage you tonight that even if you've repented and confessed
of things, confessed about things before, that there might be something new tonight
that the Lord is going to show you that you may have even forgotten about. But the Lord's
wanting to literally, I'm hearing in the spirit, He wants to lighten the load off of you. The
things that you've been carrying that you were not intended to continue to carry long
ago. And some may, might even be recent. It could have been a few days ago where maybe
you said something that hurt someone's feelings and, and you're just like, man, I didn't mean
to do that. I didn't mean to say that. And you just beat yourself up over it. And God,
He's just saying, Hey, daughter, it's okay. Beloved, it's okay.
Hey, like, I understand why you do what you do. But here's the
thing. He doesn't want us to stay there. So tonight, we're
not just talking about it. The goal will be to help you to come
out of that. Yeah. And Catherine, you're not alone. I
just want you to know that I want you to know that you're not
the only one that feels anger and struggles to keep it in
check. But I will give you some hope because the more that your
heart heals, the more you are going to be able to walk more in
the fruit of the Spirit of love, and of self control. Okay.
We want to partner with the fruits of the Spirit. And we can
ask the Holy Spirit to fill us afresh every day. But also, how
we walk in the fruits of the Spirit, you all as we become
more and more rooted and grounded in the love of the
Father, and who he is and who we are in him. And then out of the
overflow of the understanding of his love, we walk in the fruits
of the Spirit. It's the same thing regarding repentance and
confession. Y'all, we don't want you to just be on good behavior.
We don't want you to short term, stop doing something just to
please us. That's not what you're here for. That's not why
we're even having this conversation. Why we're having
this conversation tonight is so that you can literally be
transformed by the renewing of your mind that all things would
pass away, behold, everything will become new. But also, if
you remember the mind, the thoughts that we have are also
connected to our heart, the things that we think deep down
in our soul, in our spirit, and the things that are causing us
to get tripped up. So, I'm going to give you all some examples
tonight. And just remind you that as I start giving the
examples of kind of the why, the why we do what we do, I want to
remind you that the Holy Spirit is your comforter. He's your
counselor. He's your guide. He's your ever present help in time
of trouble. Literally, he is there waiting for you to ask for
his help every moment. You don't have to even confess and repent
on your own. Like when Jesus ascended into heaven, him and
the Father sent the Holy Spirit so that we would be empowered to
be able to step into all the fullness of everything that
Christ was. And he is forgiveness, you all. He is
repentance. He literally, he didn't have to repent or confess
but he represents all of the wholeness of what happens when
we experience repentance and confession. We become completely
free. He died and shed his blood for our freedom. But so many of
us carry these things around and it's bogging us down and it's
causing us to be able to not be able to soar, which is what we
were all always intended to do. This afternoon, I was kind of
talking, I probably went too long about the eagles and the
chickens, but you all, one of the things that I think about a
lot, and I think I actually heard it a long time ago about
from Joyce Meyer, but she had this example of chickens versus
eagles. And I remember just when she was saying it, I was like,
yeah, I don't want to be a chicken. I want to be an eagle.
Like I want to soar. I want to, I want to use the storms of life
and allow God just to take me higher. I want to see God's
perspective. I don't want to stay down on the ground and I'm
not knocking on chickens because chickens are awesome for what
their purpose is intended for. Okay. But they try, they can fly
a little bit, but they can't go too high, can they? They can't.
And I want to go high. I want to go up into everything that God
has for me and all this plans and purposes to be fulfilled in
my life. And so I want to encourage you to, to start to
just really ask yourself, like, the reason I brought that up
tonight is there are times where I believe that when we choose to
not repent and confess that we are choosing a lesser form of
what God intended for us. So choosing to, to be an eagle is
what I'm encouraging you to move towards, because I think we're
all created to soar. I do. And God wants to heal some of your
wings. He wants to heal the inside so that you can, but
until you get there, he's going to enable you. Does that make
sense, everyone? All right. Awesome. So here are some of the
why behind the what. These are just some, this is a small list
tonight. Yours might be totally different, but I just want to
say these to get you thinking. All right. Insecurity. We talked
last week about, you know, being the real you, stepping into who
that is, your identity in Christ. But a lot of times when
people struggle with their identity and knowing who they
are, they will often struggle with a lot of insecurity. And
then sometimes people be like, oh, I'm not insecure. I'm
confident.
then some things will happen. And literally their life and
their actions are actually saying something different. It's
saying that they're very insecure, but yet they just
don't even recognize it. And that's what happens when things
are down in our subconscious layers of our soul, ladies, and
things are happening. And it's where we're triggered, and we're
doing behaviors and actions. And we're thinking things and saying
things that align with insecurity, versus being
confident and secure in Christ, okay? Self hatred. So maybe you
don't think of yourself as someone who actually hates
yourself. But a lot of times we love to talk about this here in
the community. We can't hate someone else, without first
hating ourselves, y'all. I know that kind of that kind of can
hit hard, but let's, let's be willing to look at where we
where are we really in within ourselves so that we can be
honest enough with the Lord as well so that we can meet move
forward. So we often project on to other people, what we feel on
the inside. So if you're feeling hatred towards yourself or other
people, I want to encourage you ask the Lord, where has this
started? Where's this coming from? What's the root of what
I'm feeling experiencing and even as Catherine was saying
earlier, there's the struggle with anger. Remember that anger
is hurts bodyguard. So underneath the anger, you're
hurting somewhere. Even under frustration is hurt, sadness,
grief. And when that stuff doesn't get taken care of, and
it's not resolved, it's not healed. Again, we're not talking
about a short, short term behavior change. We're talking
about a long term heart change from the inside out. The heart
changing will then again, out of the overflow of our heart, our
mouth speaks same thing about our decisions. When we know how
loved we are, ladies, we're going to act more like a
princess. And I don't mean like a prissy princess, like you're
being kind of, you know, snooty and all that. No, I'm talking
about a beloved daughter who knows who her daddy is, and that
she's royalty. And she lives her life like that. Okay, I'm going
to keep going over eating. So this might look like you know,
binging food, it might be comforting yourself with food
instead of really addressing the loneliness or things you might
be feeling gossiping, maybe you're gossiping or slandering
someone else. Again, that kind of partners with we often
project onto other people what we actually think and feel about
ourselves. I think a lot of people that get caught up in
gossiping and slandering, they actually they don't often have
good security in Christ either. They have a lot of insecurity, a
lot of really comparison struggles. And so they really
get critical of other people because of that. And that's what
can often cause them to get tripped up with those kind of
sins, negative self talk and thought patterns. So maybe
you're someone that you really just struggle to think
positively about yourself about other people about situations,
you tend to see the glass half empty versus half full most of
the time. There's all different kinds of this, but I just wanted
to mention a few sexual related struggles. So maybe sex before
marriage, pornography, addictions, lusting after, you
know, men and situations and things. I do want y'all to know
that sometimes the enemy will attack people with these kind of
thoughts. Okay, so don't don't, if that's what's happening,
that's different. Okay. But what I'm talking about right now is
if we have a sin cycle that is related to or connected to any
form of lust. Okay. All right. Going on struggles with
authority. So have you ever had struggles with rebelling against
authority over you, whether it's a man, a woman or whatever? One
of the things I was talking about this afternoon that I feel
like is important for it to come out tonight is that, you know,
sometimes people will come into the group in this community, and
they they want everything that God has for them. And then we
teach something or a coach says something that to them in the
group, and they get really offended, to the point that even
when we've tried to reconcile, like, we'll apologize. I mean,
truly, it is always our intention to say things that
are going to help all of you. 100%. I know from my heart, and
I know Andrea, who coaches and Annette, we love you all. And
genuinely, we're all only our goal is to help you and ask you
questions that will hopefully move you towards freedom. Now, I
understand not everybody is going to hear it through a lens.
that's whole. So sometimes people get offended and we always try to make it
right, not a handful, it's very little number of people that this has happened
with, but it does happen where they weren't even willing to reconcile. They
were so offended that they just left. That's heartbreaking. That's
heartbreaking for us as coaches because we can't change it. We bless them as they
go, but man, they're missing out. They're missing out on what God has for them.
But here's the key. This is why I'm mentioning it tonight. If this is
resonating for any of you, if you struggle to get offended with women a
lot, okay, you have all women coaches in here and maybe you struggle with women.
Maybe you have mother wounds and there's just not been, you know, just
not a lot of healing there with mom. Well, guess what's going to happen.
You're going to come in and potentially that's going to get triggered while
you're here, whether it's in heartwork or face the next phase, love story,
accelerator or beyond, or maybe outside of this group, but that can happen, but
understand that those things are connected. All right. All right. Last
one I have on the list, not just because of what Catherine or other people were
mentioning in the chat, I saw a couple other people struggling with anger too,
but angry inside. So sometimes we just have a lot of anger on the inside. Maybe
we're not saying it, maybe we're not speaking it out or doing anything. So
that also, y'all, we want to deal with that, that we don't want anger kept in
either. That can do destructive things to your body and your emotions and your
mind. And then guess what? It ends up coming out y'all like a volcano at some
point. So that eruption is going to happen. But again, underneath the
surface, there's something that needs dealt with there. All right. So
repentance, what is it? We know in the church, a lot of people know this, but
I'm just going over it for anybody that might not know what actually repentance
means. Y'all it, it, it's not just about being sorrowful. Okay. Yes. There are
times where we are going to truly feel sorrowful for our sin, for the things
that we do or say that are not, they don't look like heaven or sound like
heaven. And that is normal, but that isn't all that repentance is. Okay.
Repentance is truly coming out of agreement with whatever, like that sin
cycle or that unhealthy behavior. We're coming out of agreement with it. And
we're actually saying like, if I was going left, okay, let's say I'm walking,
my sin cycle is leading me this way. Well, literally choosing to come out of
agreement and say, okay, I am not going to go this way anymore. I am going to
literally turn and go in the other direction. I'm repenting and I'm walking
away from that thing. And I'm walking towards Christ. I'm becoming more Christ
like in my behavior. Again, my heart healing, and then that impacting all of
the decisions and whatnot that I'm making. I want to read a couple things
out of the heartwork book. And then we're going to start to get ready here
and a little bit for the breakout session for tonight. True repentance
will break the cycle and set us free from the mindsets that are behind these
patterns. So again, heart healing is also connected to the mind. So if we're
continuing to get caught up in a sin cycle or something where we're just
getting tripped up with the same thing over and over and over, I don't know
about you all, but having gone through abuse as a young girl, a little girl,
little girl started it. I the earliest I can remember as I was five, went on for
years. Y'all, I really struggled to have boundaries with sex as I got older. I
didn't I literally, you know, just stepped right into that as a as a young
teenage girl having sex and not even knowing what and then all this stuff
started coming to the surface about what happened. I didn't even remember it
until that point. So I was like all over the place. I was all over the place.
But man, there's so much redemption. God is so good. I didn't have to stay in
that. He taught me how to come out of that and walk in wholeness. But it took a
while. It took a while. But the more that I learned how to grow in my
understanding of God's love, what I was saying earlier to you, I've lived that
out. I've had to really pray a lot like help me God to understand you more as
love. Like help me understand. Like I pray that a lot even so now because I
believe that I still I think God wants to show me more about his love every
day. I don't ever want to get to the point that I think I know everything
about the Lord because man, that's when we start falling down y'all. Pride.
Pride is another why behind a what? Why do why do we have pride in our lives?
What's up? Like what's underneath the surface of the pride?
All right, I'm gonna
keep going. I'm not reading all this. This is just from a couple
pages in the book. But I just want to point out a couple
things. Repentance also includes turning around from whatever
course we were following, as I was mentioning, and submitting
to God's plans for our lives. I know a lot of people don't like
the word submit, we're going to talk about submission on another
night. But it isn't a bad thing. Okay, so I want to start to
encourage you to come out of the unhealthy mindsets that you might
be carrying regarding submission that that stuff is there because
someone hurt you that was unhealthy and that was in
authority over you, and they mishandled what submission
actually means. Okay. So just want to encourage you, I want to
invite you to come out of alignment with any kind of
negative thoughts. And, and again, we'll go into it more
another night. But let's just kind of plant that seed there
for tonight. Repentance says stop, I'm getting out of this
car. I'm getting out of this car that's driving down this dead
end road. And it's going really fast. It's about to take me over
the cliff. repentance is going to be an ongoing part of your
life until every lie is found and replaced with truth. Think
of it as a GPS that will continue to adjust and correct
your course as you go. Okay. Have a couple more. All right, I
want to let me think this is where I want to start. The Word
of God says for the Lord corrects those he loves just as
a father corrects a child in whom he delights. If you have
only known punishment or harsh discipline from authority
figures like parents, bosses, pastors, or even oppressive
spouses, then let me tell you what a course correction from
Father God via the Holy Spirit looks like and sounds like. It
sounds a lot like this. Hey, baby girl, you're better than
this. You don't have to live this way. This is not who I
created you to be. Let me teach you something new. Sweetheart,
you're taking the hard road. Take my hand and I will show you
a better way. Daughter, you're headed for danger. Listen to me.
Trust me. This road is a dead end. Stop the car and let me
drive. I will get us to safety. I feel the Holy Spirit on that
you all. Yeah. And I love that Jackie wrote that in a way that
it didn't just say let me get you to safety or I you know,
I'll go it's I will get us to safety to me God's like I'm
riding with you in the car. He's not left you. He's not
forsaken you. He's with you. Yeah, you are his baby girl,
Amy, all of us we are. I think he wanted a lot of you all to
remember that tonight. That's from the heartwork book. I'll
tell you the chapter but you're all your pages are different
because you have an ebook. It's in chapter nine, y'all can find
it there. Okay. And I really want to encourage you all to to
really meditate on that this week. Even if you just started
the course, don't read all the chapters, but you can just go
find that part that I read and kind of maybe take a screenshot
of it. Focus on it this week, but still keep what week you're
on. Don't skip ahead. But just go ahead. It's okay for you to
do that. Because I feel like it's a timely word for everybody
that's here, as well as those that are going to watch the
replay for tonight. And this week. All right. James 516 says
this, therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for
each other so that you might be healed. The prayer of a
righteous man avails much when we don't confess, we remain
tethered to it. So I want you to understand a tether is like
you're being bound to it. So when we don't confess our sins,
when we don't repent, we stay bound to those things. And then
sin that we don't repent for or confess also creates blind
spots. So you know, when you're driving, when that car is right
in that blind spot, that literally means you cannot see
it. It's kind of behind you. And so there's a lot of us that,
you know, maybe it wasn't even something you did recently. But
maybe it's something you did a long time ago that you even
forgot that you did. But it's down in your soul. And it is
impacting you. You don't have to go dig. I want to remind
everyone, nobody has to get their shovels out and go
digging. We believe in allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal things
for healing. So the whole time you're saying, you know, Lord,
can you reveal this to me? Holy Spirit, can you help reveal if
there's something that's in darkness that needs to be
brought to the light? Is there any area that I need to repent
or confess for something that I've done or said that's hurt
anyone, even myself? So often we we forget ourselves, ladies.
Some of you have committed your worst sins
against yourselves, myself included in the past, okay?
I harmed my own body by having sex before marriage
and that damaged my emotions and my spirit, my confidence,
but I had to learn that I was loved
and I was worth more than my body.
And so I wanna encourage you all,
if that's something you struggle with,
to also pray and lean into that a little more as well.
I'm gonna share a couple of examples from my own life
in addition to what I just shared,
to hopefully help you kind of think of some things
in your own life as well.
These are some areas over the years.
I mean, some of this is way back
when I first gave my life to Christ.
Some of it's from my heartwork process myself.
I am one of the success stories
that came through Jackie's program.
I actually went through her program back in 2021
and I've been coaching with her since 2021
later in the year after I had gone
through all of the process.
And I'm super, super thankful for every opportunity
I've had these last few years,
but just want you all to understand the difference.
There's some that are from way back when
and some that are a little more recent.
So one of the things I realized when I asked the Lord
what he wanted me to say today
regarding the repentance and confessions that I've done
is trying to fill God-shaped hole in my heart with things,
with things that were not good for me.
So for example, food to comfort me.
I mentioned that kind of earlier.
I learned this from my mother.
My sister did it too.
A lot of people in my family did that kind of stuff.
I learned this behavior
and I still struggle with it from time to time.
That's something that I'm working on.
Binge watching too much TV to avoid loneliness or pain.
And you all, it's not just food.
I also need to mention sometimes people are taking pills.
They're drinking alcohol to try to avoid pain.
Feel like I need to mention that tonight as well.
Maybe harmful thought patterns that were keeping me stuck.
So I used to think a lot of negative things.
I'm a very positive person,
but I had a lot of orphan mentalities.
I looked at things like that I was kind of always reaching
and striving and I was never gonna get
to really where God's blessings were.
I believed it in my head, but in my heart,
my heart was saying something different
because I grew up in something different.
I grew up, my parents, I mean,
my dad left literally right after I was born.
I'm not like literally not kidding.
He left my mom without a car and she was in the hospital
and he was just gone and she had four kids
and they divorced when I was in ninth grade.
I hardly knew him.
He would come and go throughout the years,
but understanding like that
and looking through that lens, well, men always fail.
Men always hurt me.
I was sexually abused by my brothers.
So there was no covering, there was no protection.
My grandfather, thankfully, my dad's dad was good.
Like he was a good man and he took care of our family.
And so I did have some, that good example, thankfully,
but there was a lot of negative examples.
And so I partnered with, subconsciously,
I didn't know I was doing it,
but partnered with a lot of lies
and just really harmful thought patterns
that did keep me stuck for a long time.
Not keeping boundaries in place.
Okay, so again, as I mentioned earlier,
having sex outside of marriage
and all of that kind of stuff.
I also wrote down, I had to repent
for letting my values be lowered in a relationship, okay?
So going against my own values and morals,
even after I was a Christian,
because I was in a relationship with a guy,
when I talk about my spiritual daughters,
their dad, this is who I'm talking about right now,
he was very abusive, you all.
And he knew that I did not want to have sex
outside of marriage.
And he did a lot of stuff to pressure me.
I mean, he would scream at me.
He would leave the house and peel,
I mean, just terrible, terrible things.
Show up naked, like it was weird.
It was just weird stuff.
He was putting me under so much pressure and stress.
And there was so much guilt.
And there were times you all, I hate to admit it,
but I gave into him, but I felt terrible for doing it.
Because that's not what I really wanted to do.
And so how this changed was I changed.
I changed.
I started really leaning into understanding
who I was called to be
and the people that I was called to lead
and knowing that if I was gonna lead to the best of my,
ability, I was going to lead myself well first. And I was
going to stop allowing myself to be treated like, like I didn't
matter that I didn't have value or that my morals didn't matter
because they did. And so I started the journey to, I hadn't
broken up with him yet. But I started that internal journey to
parting ways in that relationship. And it started
with me healing more and more and more. And I did a whole like
vision board on what kind of relationship I wanted. And
looking at that board and praying, I mean, partnership,
teammate, true love, like, like words on that board that would
help me remember, like, what did I really want? And that I would,
I would keep moving towards that. And I just started
valuing myself a lot more, I kept saying no. And even when he
would get mad, and he would throw these tantrums and treat
me horribly, I just was like, I'm sorry, I'm not doing that.
I told you no. And I would just stand, I would just stand up
for myself and stand up for myself. And that gave me more
courage to stand up for myself the next time. And before long,
you know, I broke that relationship off. Praise the
Lord I did. And thankfully, the reason that I stayed in that not
thankfully, the reason I stayed in that the reason I stayed in
that for so long, was because I was terrified of losing the
girls in that situation, because I had already lost my
stepson. When I went through my divorce, my ex husband kept him
from me, I hadn't, you know, seen him since he was 10 years
old. And so when this person came into my life with my
spiritual daughters, I got very connected to, to the girls very
quickly, because I hadn't given myself enough time to heal from
the loss of my stepson. See how that works. The enemy just, he
kind of is like, here you go, puts the bait out there and
reels us in. Now the girls are an absolute blessing to my life.
I don't regret. I don't regret the decisions because they've
made me who I am. I've learned a ton of stuff from the mistakes.
So I can help other people now. Hopefully you all won't make the
same mistakes. That's the goal. Okay. But we want to keep going.
So I had to learn to not hate myself and forgive myself and
all of those things. So I repented for the hatred I had
towards myself and other people, including him when he mistreated
me and cheated on me multiple times, all of the things, you
know, just choosing to forgive, choosing forgiveness, choosing
life, because I could stop looking backwards. I couldn't
change any of that. Here's the reality, y'all. We don't know
what we don't know until we know it. Okay. Even though I was a
Christian, there were stuff from my past from the sexual
abuse that still wasn't healed yet. And it was causing me to
struggle. Now I'm not making excuses. That's just truth. And
so some of you that might be where you've been, but you God
has better for you. Just like that little thing I read, he's
like, baby girl, I've got something so much better for
you. You can come out of that lifestyle. You don't have to
keep living that. And there is a good man for you that's going
to fight for the covenant of the marriage relationship. And he's
going to, he's going to fight to protect that. And y'all aren't
going to have sex until you get married. And he's going to honor
you. And he's going to value you, but you're going to do it
too. Together, you're going to fight. And that's what exactly
100% what happened with Brian and I had an incredible
redemption journey with him. He fought with me for the covenant.
Okay. All right. So that's what we want for you all. I want y'all
to hear that and receive that tonight. But I had to forgive I
had to forgive myself. I had to repent. I had to confess. We're
going to talk about forgiveness more another week as well. The
last one I wrote down is blowing past red flags. When I started
dating their dad, right in the beginning, he seemed amazing.
And I got caught up with I'm going to have a family again. I
kind of got started fantasizing about the life we were going to
have. He was a Christian and he went to church and he had a
house and that was further along than I had gotten before. My ex
didn't even we went from house to house to house. But God had
something better for me. And I thought this guy was it. And
then like literally, I'm not kidding. I think it was three
weeks into that relationship. He started showing me who he
really was. But I didn't believe him. Because I believe the first
guy the first three weeks was who he really was. But it
wasn't. So I kept waiting for that guy to come back. And he
never did. Yo, I dated him for six years. That crazy. It's
crazy. It's crazy when I say it out loud, but
Lord, God redeems time. God redeems time. I had to, I had to learn a lot of stuff during that time,
but I blew past red flags. God was, was whispering me kind of like how I read that thing to you from
the repentance. God was like, Bethany, you're not the woman at the well. Bethany, this guy's
not for you. Bethany, this isn't your family. But I kept going. God in his goodness and his grace
continued to pursue me lovingly, kindly. And yes, I had consequences I faced too, you all.
There were a lot of things that I went through because I stayed. And I don't think God wanted
that for me at all. But I chose, I chose. And so I had to repent for that. That was my side
of the street. I chose to stay in something that was very unhealthy. And I chose to blow past red
flags, even though I understand why now, why I did those things. I panicked. Part of me panicked,
like, oh, it's, I can't even get better than this. Like I told, there were all these lies I was
believing that led me, led me in that direction. Okay. So I want you all to understand like God's
grace is sufficient for you, but he's inviting you to come out of the place that you've been in.
He's inviting you into a new upgraded way of living, thinking, moving, have your being, everything
being in him. Okay. So tonight's breakout session question is this. I'm about to put you in breakouts
for those that are new. When I put up, put up the breakout thing, you're going to have something
that's going to pop up on your screen. You're just going to click to join it. You're going to go into
your room. Some of you aren't going to know anybody yet, but just go ahead with courageous or with
courage and grace and be open and share and trust that we have created a safe environment here for
you and know that God is going to work in what it, whatever it is that you share. Okay. Whatever
you're comfortable with sharing, nobody's going to force anybody. Remember that it's totally fine,
Sandy. You can stay here in the main room if you don't have audio or if somebody's working or that,
those kinds of things. Okay. Don't send Sandy to in a room. Well, Sandy too will get invited to a
room automatically. Just don't accept that one. Okay. All right. Or I'm sorry, Nancy too. I think
I said Sandy. Sorry, I lost my train of thought. Your question for tonight is what do you need to
confess? What do you need to confess? And I think what else I was going to say is that y'all don't
have to advise each other, counsel each other. It's really important for me to remind you on all,
every week, but especially when we have weeks like this, if someone cries, don't feel like you have
to fix that. Just, you know, say to your sister, I'm going to use Emily. Emily, thank you so much
for sharing your story with us. You know, we're so proud of you or thank you for opening up to us
and trusting us. Maybe use that instead of being proud, but just you understand what I'm saying.
Like, don't feel like you got to fix anybody. And then the next person can go on and share. Okay.
Super important. Helen, great example. You can confess something that is current or in the past.
If the Lord is bringing up something from the past, there may be a reason that he's wanting
you to confess that tonight. Okay. So just trust that process. Where are my breakouts? Sorry,
my screen's a little different tonight for some reason.
All right. I'm going to put three of you in a room.
For the most part, I might have to move a couple people around, but go ahead and click to join.
And I am going to give you nine minutes. Okay. Go ahead and click to join those.
Go ahead and click to join. I'm going to pray as soon as we get everyone kind of situated.
All right. I've got two.
Nancy, are you? Oh, that's right. Nancy, you're staying on there.
You might want to join from both devices, Nancy.
All right. Let me go ahead and pray. I think everyone's pretty much situated. Father,
thank you so much for this night. Father, we thank you for what you're doing. So much of
what came up even tonight, Lord, I didn't even know that you were going to have me share. So
Lord, we trust you and everything that you're bringing to this.
surface. We thank you for the revealings for healing that are
happening. Hi, Emily. Did you get kicked out?
I did get kicked out. Let me see. I think I was in breakout
room 15 is what it said. Okay, let me let me put you back in
there. All right, that's there for you. Thank you. You're
welcome. Lord, we just pray that you would comfort the ladies
tonight as they're taking courageous steps to confess and
to trust you in the process. We thank you God for helping them
to receive everything that you have for them. I can't tell if
Emily's stuck or if she can get in the room. Okay, there she
goes. I'm sorry, that was distracting me. So Lord, we
just thank you for continuing to minister grace and truth. We
thank you God for Yeah, Lord, even just opening their spirit
to hear what you're opening their spirit and their soul to
hear what your spirit is saying to them. Lord that you are
revealing these areas for healing. We thank you God that
you are just ministering to their mind, their body, their
spirit, their soul. We thank you God that you're bringing
convergence into place tonight. And what I mean by that is that
God, you're you're taking broken pieces and shattered pieces from
the past and you're bringing them together to bring about
more healing, more redemption, more reconciliation. I just keep
hearing the Lord a lot tonight saying, even just regarding
people towards themselves, like people being reconciled, even
with that, with themselves forgiving and healing, and
starting to love themselves more. So I just speak that into
existence that, that we would be daughters of the king who would
love ourselves better, more, that we would grow in the
revelation of who God says we are, that when we look at
ourselves in the mirror, that we would no longer see things that
we don't like that we would see things that we love that we
would see the glory of God being revealed through us. And that we
would see all the beautiful ways he's created us and just thank
him for those. And Lord, we just thank you that you would help us
to step into that James 516, that we would confess our sins
one to another in a safe place, Lord, so that we we can not only
pray for each other, but that we can step into freedom. Isaiah
61, three says to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of
ashes. So Lord, we thank you that you are bestowing on all of
these ladies beauty where there's been ashes in the past,
we thank you that you're taking all the broken and fallen pieces
and you're bringing those together. And you're molding
them, you're making them into a masterpiece. It makes me also
think about when Jackie talks about in the heartwork book,
about how when the vessels are put together, I forget what
belief system that's in but they pour the gold in, I believe it's
an Asian belief, but they pour the gold in and then the gold
fills all the cracks. And so Lord, we just we thank you for
filling all of our cracks in our foundation. In our soul, we thank
you God that you're going to allow your glory to shine
through those to reach people for Jesus Christ that our story
matters. We thank you God that. Yeah, this is so good. Ephesians
427. And the Amplified Version says this don't do not give
place to the enemy. Don't give him legal access to your life
and your family and do not give the devil an opportunity to lead
you into sin by holding a grudge or nurturing anger or harboring
resentment or cultivating bitterness. So Lord, I thank you
that you would help us to have hearts that are soft and pliable
to you, where we have hard, hardened stony hearts, Lord, I
pray that you would remove those areas that you are doing heart
surgery within us tonight. We thank you that you're giving us
a revelation of heaven and what heaven thinks about us and says
about us. We thank you for the plans and purposes that you have
for us, and that you're helping us to step into the fullness of
those plans and purposes and that. Yeah, Lord, we're not we
didn't mess up too much and to miss out on your promises. The
enemy is trying to convince somebody or some people that
they've messed up too many times. And that's not true. And
so Lord, we thank you for helping us to step into
repentance and confession to receive the upgrade of your
truth and your healing and your life, your joy unspeakable and
full of your glory. Yes, Lord, we thank you, Lord, I feel led
to read this, even though tonight's not about forgiveness.
I just came across this in the heartwork book, and it just
God's highlighting it to me. So as Father God, thank you for
giving me a heart that's willing to forgive. I choose to obey
your word and release those who have hurt me and owe me debts. I
ask you to show me the areas where I have not forgiven
myself.
others, or even you.
Let them surface fully so that I can release them to you
and be free in those areas to have an abundant life.
Holy Spirit, come and plow every place in my heart
that is barren right now because of hurt, shame,
pain, anger, or bitterness,
so that I can grow your fruit of peace,
joy, and love in my life.
Lord, I thank you that whoever needs that, God,
that you would help them to receive your forgiveness
so that they can give your forgiveness away,
even towards themselves, that they would repent
and confess for anything that they've done
that's harmed their own bodies,
harmed themselves, harmed other people.
A lot of times we talk in the heartwork
about other people that hurt us,
but we don't always talk about,
hey, have we hurt other people?
We do that a lot in the forgiveness week,
but that's coming up in my spirit
a little bit right now as well.
And so for those that are watching the replay
or here in this room,
just trusting that whoever needs to hear it will hear it,
but that we would also repent and confess
for anything that we've done that's hurt other people
and step into freedom in that area.
And one of the things, this is coming up too,
I was talking with a friend this afternoon
and just not really anything that she did that was massive
that was potentially hurtful to someone else,
but she's just processing.
There was someone that she dated briefly
and where she was at,
she was not able to fully receive even his flirting with her
or his desire to want to spend time with her.
And so even though she really liked this guy
and he made her feel very safe,
she struggled to connect with him on a deeper level.
And she was just saying she's feeling led
to write him something to apologize.
And one of the things that as I was praying for her
that the Lord brought up is that,
cause she's like,
I don't even know if I have this number anymore
and just how do I do that?
And I said, well, pray first and ask the Lord,
am I supposed to write a letter and send it to him
or am I supposed to write a letter and burn it?
Or what does the Lord want me to do with the letter?
And so just wanna encourage you all,
sometimes when we need to repent,
there might need to be that release for you
where you write it out in paper.
And we talked about letting go activation
a couple of weeks ago,
but you can do it on this week too,
where you write it out
and you set that on fire in a safe place, of course,
and you release that and you let it go completely.
We do that with forgiveness week,
we do that with other things,
but you can also do that with repentance and confession
where you are repenting.
Now, we do wanna confess our sins one to another again
in certain scenarios,
because there is another level of healing and freedom
that comes from doing that.
But I also believe in that process for some of you
that it's gonna bring a lot of freedom.
Everyone's gonna start to come back shortly,
they'll be here in 60 seconds.
So I'm just gonna keep praying.
So speaking truth over you all,
we thank you Lord for continuing to bring us into,
yeah, new upgrades, new levels, Romans 8, 28.
We know that God causes everything to work together
for the good of those who love God
and are called according to his purpose for them.
Genesis 50, 20 says,
"'You intended to harm me,
but God intended it all for good.
He brought me to this position
so I could save the lives of many people.'"
As you know, Jackie was talking about that Saturday
and even I think two weeks ago.
But man, the power that can happen
when we forgive and when we understand
that God can use everything to bring about his plans
and purposes in our lives,
as well as the lives of other people
and allow him to do that through surrendering.
Welcome back.
We have like five or four seconds
and everyone will be back with us here.
I think everyone's starting to come back.
Welcome back, welcome back.
All right.
So we have half an hour to coach tonight.
I went over this afternoon and I'm gonna be a good girl.
I'm gonna be a good girl.
We're gonna finish on time tonight.
So what we do right now for you,
for those that are joining us for the first time,
when you come back, if you all can mute for me
and grab those, that will be so much easier for me
instead of me having to mute everyone.
All right, awesome.
Thank you so much.
All right, so what we're gonna do is our group shares.
And so we ask somebody, multiple people,
hopefully, to share what you shared
in your private breakout,
and then we'll do some coaching.
Ruth, I see you, girl.
Go ahead.
We'd love to have you share.
Thanks, Bethany.
Sorry, this is around on my side,
but I was thinking about it from when it first started.
I love that the army fatigue you're wearing,
it's really cute.
And you're really cute too.
Sorry, wait, wait.
Yeah, all right.
You should be braver.
Like, I have to dive that out.
But.
Back to what I showed in the group, which I had an amazing group with Damaris and with Kim
Was just what I found for me has been just what I had to confess the distraction
And allowing myself and I gave the example of like it's like
Experience I kind of see it as like it's it's a bait of Satan or it's a it's a ploy that he sees and I keep
Falling for it. It's time because and a lot of times it's not like bad distractions or bad things
It's like good things. I kind of said it as like if I were the devil
Thank God
I'm not if I were like and they wanted to get somebody off track like what better to do with them to just guys like
To get them off course with what they should be focused on like let me give the example hard work
You know that I said it in the group. I joined
Last year single at the face one
This was end of January and I still barely like in week one and I feel guilty about that because I've just allowed myself to
Distracted so many times like I wouldn't drop off and and I
It's not always been with back things
I'm a bit of being with good things and I feel like well what better way for Satan to try to get me of course
From focusing on what's most important by bringing things that are they're not bad, but they're not what another priority
and so then that keeps me of course and you know, and I feel like that's trying to point out and highlight that I really need to
to intentionally and to proactively
Attack or or like be aware of
distractions that when I find myself going down different rabbit holes of things where maybe somebody asked me to do something or even if
It's something with church
Let's extract myself from those situations because I need to have a bigger
I have a bigger ball and have a bigger focus and the longer I delay with this
There are things that you know times and seasons that God's working in and he wants me to be in alignment
With what he's doing which that's my word for 20 25 with alignments and it's just weird that biggest thing
I've been struggling with is distraction, which is get me out of trying to keep me out of alignment. So that's my share
Thanks for listening. Oh, you're welcome
It makes me think of my husband often says like when God leads him to preach about something
You often get tested in those things
And so I feel like that kind of aligns with what you're saying
Sometimes when we're trying to move forward in an area
I'm the opposite
We is what's happening or we're getting fed those kind of things the opposite and and I love the point that you brought up
Ruth about
You know
Distractions aren't always bad things that are happening
You know that the enemy is presenting good things to you
And so one of the things that I think is really good at least this is something that's been helping me lately
I'm not saying I always I always do it, but I'm
Asking myself, okay, is this the good thing or is this the great thing that I'm saying? Yes to and
And really committing to things that I like invest in so the heart work
You know
We believe that this is gonna set you all free in multiple areas of your life and that the spear mates the cherry on top
We say that a lot in this community. We really believe it and not only believe it y'all we see it
We see it so much people will get complete like healing in areas
They didn't even know they needed healing in and freedom and stuff
And and then they do, you know can step into those love stories and all the other things
But we have people stepping into new careers new new schooling and they're you know
Doing things that they have not done in years. I mean, it's just really beautiful process. And so I want to encourage you Ruth
I'm so glad that you confessed about that
But one of the biggest things that also came to mind is
Oftentimes we don't say yes to the thing that we really want to do
because
underneath
There's some level of procrastination because of something we fear
Like what does it mean for you to move forward to really give yourself like not just partial permission
But full permission to move forward in the heartwork and what I've uncovered with a lot of people is they're actually afraid to date
Yes, I think I
Yeah, I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I live in Idaho and currently Dallas helping my family
So my dad has that brain bleeds which testimony about that
But anyway one day when I was praying and boy see like the Holy Spirit reveals to me that part of why he
is trying to move get me to move to Dallas, Texas is to finish my like not the hard work but like to complete the
rest of it and because after I move is when I'm going to make my spirit mate and that just
I don't say scared me because I was like
I don't know like after I went through what I went with my my my marriage and the abuse and all men are you know?
They can't be trusted or you know there you have to be on your guard because yeah
Yeah, you're not natural giver and everyone just they would just take especially men
They would just take and throw you away like he just started me and I was
I just felt like that.
So I was like, oh God, I don't know if I'm ready for that.
Like, I want you to heal me, heal me fine.
But, you know, I don't know if I'm...
You're not, you don't know if you're ready
for the same thing to happen or something great to happen?
Well, I was just, part of it was like,
part of the abuse in my marriage,
it convinced me that the abuse was my fault.
I'm trying to get you to see what you said to us there.
You said, okay, so,
so basically what you're afraid of
is you're afraid of the same thing happening
as what happened before, which is very common for people.
But I wanna encourage you to come out of alignment
and agreement with that and partner with
that the more that I heal and listen to the Holy Spirit,
I can choose a healthy spirit mate
and my life can be happy and different.
But even to get there, Ruth,
one of the things I said this afternoon
to one of the ladies that I was coaching,
hers was regarding finances,
but the biggest thing is that when we get overwhelmed,
we shut down.
Yeah.
So instead of thinking about when you move
and hey, that might lead to your spirit mate
or like, I gotta do all this heartwork,
let's just take one bite a day.
One bite a day, what's one thing you can do today
to move forward in your heartwork?
Even if it's to read two pages of your book,
that's better than no pages.
Right, ladies?
Yeah.
Yeah, so if we just really every day,
like make it, even if it helps you,
I don't know about you guys, but I put Post-it notes up.
If I have a hard time remembering something for myself,
I'm trying to start putting things up to remind myself
of what do I need to do for me?
Because I'm busy, I coach all kinds of people
and I do a lot of work for here,
I do a lot for the church
and that's all amazing and beautiful,
but I have some books that God has given me to write
and I'm putting that off.
Why am I doing that?
Well, there's a lot of reasons.
Sometimes I don't have any more time in the day,
but God keeps saying to me,
Bethany, like even my husband was like,
even if you write two minutes a day,
you're moving forward on the book.
And I keep thinking of that.
I have it written on a thing
and I'm moving towards that.
But just, do you see how like minute,
like making it smaller can make it more doable?
Yeah, make it bite size.
Yeah, yeah, make it bite size.
So, so glad that you're gonna leave distraction behind
and you're gonna move forward
and you're gonna take bite sizes
and you're gonna step forward in your heart work
and you're gonna let God take care of the stuff
that's all the way down there
because we don't worry about tomorrow
because tomorrow will have its own troubles
and worries about itself, right?
I've been trying not to worry.
One of the bite sizes I took
was getting the hard copy of the book.
That's part of why I kept procrastinating.
It was very hard with the PDF.
And so I was like, okay, Ruthie,
you've got to get that excuse out.
I know I have to like,
like something about touching.
And so this way I can try to stay on top of it.
I love it.
Way to go.
We look forward to hearing how that goes.
Okay.
Is it yanky?
Is that how you say it?
Help me.
Okay, awesome.
Go ahead.
Thank you for sharing your testimony.
So vulnerable.
But I have to confess,
release the secret,
is that I was,
it'd be just angry.
And because I had a,
I had a sexually,
I was my stepfather.
My mother did not protect me as well.
She was raped by own brother.
You sexually was abused,
harassed by your own brother.
So because I had the trauma,
that's why my brain sometimes could be numbness.
I know it was my first marriage.
I came out and my brain was numbed.
Could not think.
So it caused a lot of things happening.
Not have very good performance at jobs.
And even interaction with people.
And people sometimes misunderstood me
and hurt me and this and that.
And even the authorities and the spiritual authority
and even the authorities.
So anyway, they did not know my condition.
So I forgave them.
And then I was kind of angry at me sometimes.
I could not be the one God created me to be,
to more.
Productive, efficient, punctual, and I struggle with procrastination and delay, and I think
it's because of fear sometimes.
I think I was not good enough.
My stepfather, I have not seen my family for over 20 years now because I don't want to
speak to my stepfather, and that's because he's the reason I don't want to go back.
Right now, my family, my mother, my brother, my background father, all gone.
Only he left, but he took good care of my brother and my mother.
I mean, I don't want to blame him because he's a familiar spirit, and also because my mom
was very cold on sex.
He was not satisfied, and he just loved me and took me to his bed.
So Joy, you're confessing the anger that you have still, or is this a prior anger?
I still have anger, I think.
I'm saying anger about a situation because I'm tormented and also anger about myself.
Okay.
All right.
Remember, ladies, when we have anger, as I mentioned earlier, we really want to look
at the sadness that's still underneath of there.
One of the ways that I encourage you all to do, and I think this is Joy that was talking,
correct?
I don't want people to call me Joy.
Oh, okay.
You had that on there this afternoon.
That's why I didn't know.
For the last several weeks, you've had that name on there.
All right.
Well, we'll call you Yankee going forward, but I just wanted to know if you were who
I thought you were.
Actually, I did not want people to know, so I just want to differentiate the real me.
Beneath that, there's some story I did not want to confess, but today I just obey God.
I want to confess because you said no more keep it a secret.
Okay.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
And remember that we want to love the little girl us.
Okay.
So with your situation, especially one of the things I want to encourage you to ask
the Lord to do is to help teach you how to love on the little girl you that was abused
and how does he want to come and minister to her?
Because we can do a lot of work as an adult on our heart currently, but we need to minister
to the one that got hurt years ago, the little version of us and minister, allow God to minister
to her.
And then as she heals, then what can happen is convergence.
I actually prayed about this when y'all were in the breakouts, the little girl, us converges
back with the adult version of us.
It's not like we're walking around separate people, like, you know, floating around or
anything.
I'm not saying anything weird, but genuinely like people within themselves, there, there
comes a disassociation, a separation, a breaking that happens.
And so as the little girl, us is healed and the adult version is healed.
We can start to converge and become more whole.
God wants us to be completely whole lacking, no good thing.
And so I want to encourage you all.
This is for her as well as anybody else that as you allow the Lord to heal those versions
of you so many great things can happen.
Thank you for sharing.
So courageous to share that with us.
I appreciate you so much.
Anna Smith, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany.
So I just wanted to confess it's similar actually to what Ruth was saying.
And I did end up buying a paper, is there a paper copy of the book?
Because I have been really procrastinating and half doing this course.
I think that, well, part of it is definitely because I was, I am still working through
my anger and my doubt.
And, yeah, so I am really trying to get to a place where I trust God and I believe the
things that he, the good things that he has for me.
So, yes, so I guess that's that's that's that's really good.
It's really good.
Anna, can you tell me what your anger is?
Connected to?
I mean, I am assuming because you want God's best for you, including the love story he
has for you.
for you. But can you tell me specifically, because there was, you know, you had emotion
bubble up there. So I can tell there's some pain there. And so it might help me to coach
you a little bit more if I know what that's connected to.
I feel I feel forgotten in a lot of ways. I mean, you know, and this is this is probably
I just need to sit and really be grateful because there are avenues and areas of my
life where God has excelled me. But I feel like this particular area, it's just I just
feel like I'm stagnant and I'm slow when I'm delayed. And when we were in the breakout
session, we it was just me and Mandy and we were talking a bit about that. And just one
of the things that we were discussing is how, you know, God does things slowly because it's
not just about me. Right. He wants me to be well and wonderful and everything. But
he's also going to give me his son and I can't mistreat that person. And so I think I'm angry
because I'm like, OK, just whatever you need me to do to fix it, let's fix it. But it seems
like it just doesn't get fixed. So, yeah, there's so one of the things I want to point
out when you said that you feel forgotten, you kind of went right into I probably should
just sit and be grateful. And I'm 100 percent. I believe that you all the more that for those
of you that are new to the program, I'm a firm believer in our attitude of gratitude,
thanksgiving. But there's also times where I can just sense in my spirit that actually
that that probably isn't what you need to do right now, Anna. I think you actually need
to ask the Lord. When was the first time that you believed the lie that you were forgotten?
I think you need to feel the pain of whatever happened in that beginning place. Allow God
to heal that. So that you can move forward. This isn't about behaving good and just being
grateful even though you feel pain. Let's let's look at the the light that's on the
dashboard that's saying, hey, overheated, overheated, overheated. You know, that's
kind of what's happening. And so does anything come to mind when I say, like, when's the
first time you remember feeling forgotten? Very, very early. So my parents divorced when
I was two and my biological mother moved back to the Virgin Islands. And so I I started
traveling by myself. I mean, obviously, with the flight attendants, but I was probably
like four when I started flying alone. And I remember being there and being sad. And
just really wishing that I felt like my my mommy loved me. So probably definitely then.
I'm really sorry to hear that you went through that at such a young age, Anna. And I believe
that the Lord is wanting to come in and minister to that part of your of your heart. And I
know, ladies, like I want to encourage you to like sometimes God is slow. But sometimes
he's not. Sometimes it's just that we need to heal to receive what he's going to give
us. And I think it's easier for us sometimes to say, well, God's just holding out or he's
slow or he doesn't work in my life. You know, we don't mean to say those things, but we
actually that's what we believe. But those beliefs come from lies. Because of trauma. And
so we have to get to the root. And and ladies, sometimes you're not going to know if you're at
the root lie the first time, but we just go with what comes up. So tonight, that's what came up
for her. So that's where she's I would encourage her to start. And even if you've done work on
that before, Anna, I believe God wants to heal another layer of that tonight. And to the
point that I believe sincerely, and I don't, I wouldn't do this a lot. But I believe he's going
to bring someone into your life that's going to be a mom figure. She's not gonna be your mom. But
I believe she's gonna step in and she's gonna love you in a way that you need it in this
season. And I don't know how soon that will be. But I do feel like it's coming. And so just want
to encourage you before she even gets here, that you'll receive love from the Father in that
area so that you can even receive the blessing from her.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Ladies super important for us to love on these little kids that's coming up a lot
tonight two years old parents divorced
just having to fly alone at four. That's a really big deal.
Right? So let's love on these little, little girls on the
inside. Let's give them some attention. I mean, literally, I
mean, I'm not asking you to sit and have a conversation with a
fake person there. You're just literally internally like, Hey,
like Anna, like you're just thinking about when you were a
little like, how can I love you today? I feel that in the Holy
Spirit to say in that out loud. Because that little girl needs
to know that was sitting in that airport alone that she's not
alone. And that God has always been there. And that God's heart
broke for her when she was sitting there crying. That's who
God is. Sometimes we just got to sit in some stuff, ladies, I
feel it. I just need this to linger for a minute. God, his
heart breaks when we break. When people do things or life happens
to us, and it hurts us. And he wants to come into those places
and set you free. But you have to give him permission to come
in. God is a gentleman, he doesn't force his way in. He will
not abuse you or mistreat you. He stands at the door of our
hearts and he knocks and you get to choose whether or not you're
going to let him come into that place that's vulnerable. I think
there's a lot of vulnerability. I felt it as soon as God said to
me to say, Hey, tell them they don't have to keep the secret. I
just had a feeling tonight was going to be a special important
night. So y'all just keep inviting the Lord in to show you
what you can't see, so that you can heal and step into freedom
and fullness. Okay. All right, Emily, go ahead. Anna, thanks for
sharing.
I had a great time with Cherry, it was just the two of us in our
group, and we both kind of mentioned something similar. The
way I phrased it was, I feel like I have a bit of a poverty
mindset when it comes to like being with the right person. And
part of it's because I just haven't really met anyone that I
could see myself with who kind of felt the same way. Like it
just feels like most of the people that are interested in me
I'm just not really, kind of really vibing with and the ones
that I, well, to be more specific, actually, the ones
who are interested in me are non believers, and 50 year old
creeps that are like much older than me. So you know, I would
never do any of that being a demonic person. And the ones I'm
interested in are either unavailable, or with other
people. So that's sort of been a bit of my student. Yeah.
Okay. All right. So I'm going to say something very similar as
far as you know, the first time that you dated someone that was
unavailable. So who's the first person that you dated that was
unavailable? Was it someone that you really like?
So I only did it once in my life. And that was eight years
ago. And I've been single and celibate since then. I don't
know if he was unavailable. It's more like he couldn't lead in
the relationship. And I made it very easy for him to access me.
And he's very much a player. And then, like the reason why we
kind of broke things off is because there is another girl
who kind of got in between us. And he let her get in between
us. So that was very painful for me. Because I thought we
were pretty serious. And he was like, you know, I'm wanting to
change wanting to get better. So I believed it and was willing
to help him. That's like a big ministry project. Yeah, for me
to Yeah, yeah. So I treated that way.
Sorry, was there a boy like in high school or somebody younger
that you had a crush on? Anything like that? Like when
you were younger, I keep feeling like there's someone
that no crush on anybody that you never felt like they saw
you, you didn't feel noticed by them?
Not not anyone I can think of really? Yeah.
Okay. I want you just to pray into that. I don't know if it is
for sure you or if I'm just picking up on something somebody
else's is processing here in the group tonight. But sometimes
what can happen is when we either have a crush on someone,
and we just never feel seen by them, we start to partner with
the fact that I'm never going to be able to find someone that
actually likes me too. Another, the flip side of that is
sometimes someone can say something over us and we
believe the lie that's spoken through them.
Okay.
It can be like someone saying like, you're never going to find anybody or,
you know, you're not meant to be married or you're not made for marriage.
People say all kinds of like stuff.
And I don't know if any of that stuff has ever been said over you, but just
pray into kind of both of those types of areas and let's see if the Lord reveals
something, I'm not saying it's not the situation with this guy that you dated
eight years ago, there probably is some more healing to do there as well, because
it did come up, but I kept sensing something like a boy or someone that you
were connected to when you were younger.
So let's hang into that and see where the Lord leads.
It might end up not going anywhere at all, and I'm okay with that, but let's
just see if it brings anything up and, and ladies understand when I get, give
some of these things, um, it's okay if it doesn't come up right in the next few
Okay.
So just keep doing your heart work and, and see if something comes up along the
way, actually another thing, and this isn't just for Emily, but, um, something
just came up in my spirit when I saw Monica said the word renounce, um,
sometimes people even get crushes, um, with people that are like actors and they
start fantasizing and connecting with an actor, um, and actually kind of have
these soul ties that form that are emotional because of the fantasy world
that they're kind of thinking and living in.
I know that kind of sounds out there, but it, it does happen ladies.
And so, uh, if that is for anyone want to encourage you just to really come
out of alignment with that as well.
And we do have the breaking soul tie session as you go through the heartworks.
So you guys are going to understand more of what that means and the prayer for
every, this happens a lot.
A lot of people don't see when you click on the breaking soul ties session, the
prayer that she talks about in the video is actually right there underneath of the
video.
So if y'all are ever looking for that, that's where it's at.
Okay.
Emily, thank you so much for sharing.
Appreciate you.
Uh, so I'm Maureen.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to get to you.
Cause I have three more minutes and Lenina and Stephanie already
had their hands up.
So you, so if, if you can put it in the group for me, I can answer you
and respond to you there.
Okay.
All right.
Lenina, hopefully I'm saying your name, right?
Yes, that's right.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Um, okay.
So my confession was about, uh, forgiveness.
Um, I had a really, really deep betrayal by my sister.
Um, and I thought I had forgiven her, um, until doing the heartwork.
I realized that what I was really doing was putting up walls and keeping her at a
distance and away from my life to avoid being hurt by her again with, cause she
hasn't earned my trust and she continues, um, to hurt, but I really haven't
forgiven either because, um, it's not that I'm angry and I don't give her much
thought, but I know that this heartwork has stirred up some things and has really
shown me that I haven't forgiven.
I, I just haven't, the betrayal was deep and I don't want anything to do with her.
But the sad thing is that now my niece, um, is kind of stuck in the middle because
she wants me to go to her graduation party.
And I don't think I could bring myself to go because I know her mother will be there.
Okay.
So then that probably does mean there's definitely some more layers of forgiveness
and healing that needs to happen there.
Um, when I encourage you, if you haven't already done it with the new stuff
that's come into the surface, definitely get out the forgiveness prayer sheet
and work through that, um, and, and really ask the Lord, I know within your
own self that you might not feel like you can go, but what is the Lord?
Not that the Lord is going to ask you to go, but maybe the Lord would ask you to
take your niece to lunch or something.
You know, um, but just maybe he would ask you to go to the party.
Maybe he would ask you to ask your sister to get together beforehand
so y'all can work through some stuff.
I don't know, but just putting, dropping some seeds and I'm going to let you
pray into it and see what the Lord might lead you to do there.
Okay.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Forgiveness is so important.
You all, it really, really is.
We got to let go of all the bitter roots that get stuck down in
when we don't choose to forgive.
And even sometimes when we do forgive and there's just those additional layers
that we just don't, we don't even know they're still there.
So lean into that and definitely let God heal.
If that applies to you, in addition to Lenina.
Stephanie, go ahead.
Hi.
Um, so.
Thank you, Bethany, first off for being vulnerable and sharing your story, it definitely helped
with prompting how to do this.
And also thank you for encouraging me to speak on this one in the community as well.
So the big thing that I think that I need to confess or the big, I guess, series of
things is not forgiving myself for like bulldozing past the red flags that I've seen in men in
the past.
And then also allowing myself to cross boundaries physically that I shouldn't have even in my
last relationship, like going past those red flags and then also going past those physical
boundaries that I knew that I shouldn't have passed as well, just to please him and to
try to grasp for straws and hold on to a relationship that I know that wasn't healthy.
This is so good.
You did great.
You did a great job.
Y'all take so much courage to share and I appreciate every person that has shared tonight.
So one of the things when you were saying about the red flags that I just want to encourage
you for my own story as well.
I remember just, you know, because I spent six years with him and then went through so
much similar things to what you're explaining.
And I just felt like, man, I wasted all that time.
I lost those years.
I can't get that back.
And the Lord really ministered to me about how he can redeem the time.
Like he can give me that time back.
And sometimes those kinds of things are hard for our brains to comprehend because it's
a supernatural thing.
But genuinely the last two, I'm almost September will be three years.
I've been married.
It's crazy to even like, it's gone so fast.
But like my life is so different now that it just feels like that has been ages ago.
And so I just want to encourage you.
It started with me forgiving myself for blowing past those red flags sincerely.
And so I wouldn't have you this week to do one of those forgiveness prayer sheets specifically
towards yourself for that and for crossing the physical boundaries and not honoring yourself
the way that you really wanted to.
That's what I hear you saying.
And so even with that, ladies, just know like we can have a clean slate.
Like God removes our sins as far as, I always do this wrong.
The East, is this my East?
I don't know.
The East from the West.
It's my right and left, whatever, whatever direction it is.
But he removes them far away.
And then he says he'll take all of our sins that were crimson scarlet and make them white
as snow.
He removes that.
So when you repent and you're confessing that, he's making the slate clean tonight for you.
It's clean.
So you get a do over.
And I think from my own experience, it just takes really knowing who you are, knowing
what you want to fight for.
And sincerely, this last time around, what really helped me, I mean, Brian and I fought
for the covenant too, I mean, as I mentioned, but one of the other things that really was
fueling me in my boundary setting and really working on my self-control and growing in
my love for my own self and my body and loving everything, like protecting that was, I want
to break, I want to break, I already am, but I wanted to break the cycle of the spirit
of lust that had been attacking my family for generations.
And I wanted that to end and I didn't want that to pass to my kids.
And so when it got hard, because y'all, I had to put boundaries in place, even Brian,
we got closer and closer to getting it, or we were already engaged closer and closer
to the wedding.
We had to put all kinds of boundaries in place.
I couldn't even cuddle with him because I would want to do stuff.
That's how our flesh is.
And so we couldn't kiss, we couldn't cuddle, literally the one day I was like, get away
from me, get away.
We were joking about it, but like being serious at the same time, because like, it just was
the boundary.
I had to put in place so that my body didn't bring up things that I didn't need to be thinking
about or going in that direction.
And he honored that.
And he, you know, like he respected those boundaries and he loved me.
And I remember the most pivotal conversation as I start to close tonight was when he reminded
me that he's like, Bethany, you're more than a body.
Like I love you.
It wasn't about just being sexual.
It was about loving me as a person.
Do y'all understand?
And I know that the world tries to cause you to believe that there's not enough good men
out there.
And even Christian circles, people are talking about that.
You are, you all, there are.
There are good men out there.
And there are enough of them.
God will lead you to your spirit mate.
He's going to help you if you will trust him in the process.
Yeah.
And so I want to encourage you to really just receive God's love and forgiveness for you
tonight and towards you.
He loves you and he wants to help you walk this out.
Sharon, no, you can hope, but let's step into, I believe, help my unbelief.
Let's partner with it.
Let's partner with this truth.
Let's allow ourselves to receive it.
God has good things for us and he wants to lead us there every step of the way.
So now I'm married and now the next good thing we're moving towards is baby and being older.
Of course, fear wants to set in.
Of course, we have weird things like we go to a doctor for my husband and has nothing
to do with having a baby and this doctor's telling me how they spend all this money and
on IVF and didn't get pregnant.
And I'm just sitting there like, y'all, if I thought my mouth dropped to the floor, literally,
I'm like, what is this doctor?
Why is he saying this right now?
Well, I know the enemy led this guy that had, we were not there for any of that.
That was the enemy trying to bring fear.
Do you see how this happens?
So here you all are, you're in the heart work, you're in the heart work and you're healing
and you want to move towards what God has for you, including your love story.
But he's going to constantly try to, the enemy is going to constantly try to convince you.
Well, can it really happen?
Will it really happen?
Do you, I don't really think there's good guys out there.
Whatever he can do to get you to partner with doubt, fear, unbelief, and the lies, he's
going to do it.
So whether or not we choose to take the bait.
And as Jackie's been talking, the presets, we, you know, understanding these things in
our subconscious that are causing us to be in a certain bent in the way that we think,
act and live and all of these things, ladies, so many good things can happen.
The more that we choose to think on things that are true and noble and lovely and of
good report, the things that are above and not beneath, what is heaven saying over your
life?
And even I see Sharon, I see you in the chat.
You might not need babies.
I get it.
But like, Hey, what is God trying to say to all of you tonight?
Like what is heaven trying to say?
Because heaven's trying to say something to you.
And I'm going to let the Lord tell you what that is, but we all can choose to step into
upgrade every single day.
All right.
I'm going to pray and close us out.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
We thank you for everything that you've done already.
I believe you're going to continue this work throughout the week.
Lord, help us to be daughters that are quick, keep short accounts with you that we repent
and we confess and we, we walk in love and the fruits of the spirit that are that joy,
that peace, that love, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness, self-control.
There might be another, but Lord, you know them all.
I pray these blessings, these fruits over every one of these ladies, God help them through
the power of your Holy spirit to step into freedom, to step into forgiveness, to choose
to let the past be in the past, that they would partner with the heaven mindsets over
their lives.
God help them to have your perspective, help them to see with your eyes, help them to hear
with your ears, what your spirit is saying.
We thank you for upgrades, revelation and insight from heaven coming fresh every day.
And Lord, I pray that even while they sleep tonight, that you would give them sailor rest,
that you would meet them where they're at and do supernatural heart surgery on them.
In Jesus name, amen.
Love you all.
I'll see you all in the group and we'll be seeing you again next week.
Have a good night, everyone.
Good night.