Jordan, come on.
There we go.
Monday, hard check in.
It is June 2nd of all things.
June 2nd, 2025.
Nice.
Mr. Mike Anthony, go ahead and drop us a line.
So, one of the things of advice I give,
and one of the things that's bit me in the,
but quite often, is looking at potential in people.
Right, because I see potential.
But when you're in a relationship,
if you're getting into a relationship with somebody
based purely on potential, it can be extremely problematic
because one of the things is a lot of people
stay where they're at.
And I just wanted to bring that up and kind of,
because I've seen it happen time to time again.
I see ladies, like, if he just,
if there's the if he or if she, if they,
and I just thought it was just an important thing
to bring up, something that I was kind of,
I saw it, there was a reel and I shared it.
But what do you guys think about that?
I mean, like, you guys struggle with that?
I see the best in pretty much everybody,
but I'm really hard, it's really hard for me to see
in actuality what the present is bringing, so.
Mike, I'll just, I'll throw in an opinion first
to kick us off with that discussion.
That's a really good topic to bring up.
Generally, what I've learned,
and I've learned this very painfully,
is you never, ever date for potential.
You only date with what you see right in front of you.
And the only if question you should ask yourself is,
if they are this person and they never change,
or that, like, breakthrough never happens,
or that healing never happens, or whatever,
is that something, is this a person you could live with?
You shouldn't ask, like, any other hypotheticals.
Potential is just that.
It's potential.
Yeah, I think it was, it might have even been
a response Jackie did recently,
where she was talking about, like, beige flags,
and how, like, a beige flag can move to a green flag
as if you see, like, all the signs for growth there
that are actually present, like, steps being taken,
you know, accountability, responsibility,
ownership over the current state of things,
the steps are in place, and I'm walking them out to grow.
And so, yeah, it's like, I know dating is a lot different
than, like, a friendship, you know.
Friendship, like, you can have potential and stuff,
but with dating, it's so much more,
and, like, I definitely agree with what Daniel was saying.
You can't date for a potential in a red flag area,
but I think there's definitely room for discussion
if there's, like, beige flags, and you are, like,
is there potential here, and, like,
being able to ask those questions of, like,
what are you doing to help with this?
Yeah, and you guys, the, yeah, no,
we don't date for potential, like,
is in this idealistic sense of, like,
what we want this person to become,
but we do understand that nobody has arrived.
Everybody has the ability to change,
and will change, actually, even if somebody is very stagnant,
there are still things that change about them,
but I think you're right, Zach,
that I think the most important thing in that way,
when you're dating somebody,
and you see there's an area or a part in their life,
probably there's just as many in your own life,
where you're saying, like,
hey, this isn't up to what I want it to be,
or what it should be, or so forth,
that you are partnering together,
and having a willingness,
a willingness, and a bent towards growth,
towards development,
and that's probably the greater thing to look for,
it's not necessarily for, like,
oh, I'm gonna date for potential, like Mike brought up,
like, no, we don't wanna do that,
but we definitely want to see the seeds of growth,
and the willingness to want to change,
to grow, to have a, whether it's goal setting,
or whether it's just, you know,
somebody's putting forth the steps to do hard work,
like what we do here in our last year single,
or they're, you know, they're promoting
the best of themselves,
even if they're not where they could be,
so that's probably the better thing to look for,
is like, is this person wanting to,
and has the desire to change, to grow, to be better,
to be their best self,
even if they're not that at the moment?
The teachable spirit is so necessary
when you're looking for somebody.
because if they haven't got a teachable spirit,
they're stuck in so many words
and they will always be who they are.
That's a big one we're looking to as well too
because it tells you if the person has been healed
or is healing.
If you introduce like,
I like what David had said earlier about the cake
and how that came out.
It was like, okay, this person can have fun.
This person could be who David might be looking for
in his life.
But there's that element that you can see a teachable spirit
in that one because they're lighthearted
and that just might do sense.
Yeah, what are some of the elements
that we'd be looking for in a person
who is showing signs or seeds of wanting to grow or change
even at an earlier stage in their life?
Probably patterns of actionable change
that come out through being vulnerable,
not specific to things in their past,
but just if they're open to sharing
about who they were before Christ
or just that even acknowledging that you've had,
you used to walk this way
and now you walk in the light of the Lord.
I mean, that's great, but what I'm kind of focused on
is like, that's good for a salvation spiritual walk.
That's awesome.
But at the same time, there's a lot of people
who love Jesus that are not willing to grow
because they're stagnant in their mindset
or they're talk about like their health or finances
or they're just their life state
or their purpose in life.
Like they wanna grow.
That's that mentality.
You want that person to have
sort of a sense of adventure, if you will.
Oh, okay.
It's kind of like,
hey, I'm willing to go, I'm willing to go like,
hey, let's do this together.
I'm willing to go too.
Or you wanna go on an adventure, let's go on an adventure.
That's probably some of the dialogue that Jackie and I had.
And we sense that in each other
that we were like ready for,
we don't know what this holds.
I mean, certainly we don't know when we got married
or when we met like 18 years later now,
we had no idea that we would look like it be doing
and all that kind of thing that we're doing now then.
But at the same time, we were like, let's go on adventure.
What are some of the other things that you could see
maybe it's practically in someone you're interested
in dating that show that kind of.
Are they a learner, right?
Like-
Yeah, exactly.
I just checked.
I'm like, I wonder how many audio books I have.
It's 94.
Not just for knowledge sake though, right?
Because like, I mean like,
are they wanting to learn to grow so they're better
or to help others?
And like, that's one of the reasons,
one of the things I love about this group
and one of the reasons why I'm like,
is that Jackie is like the heart healing.
So many people aren't willing to do that.
And that's one of my non-negotiables
is somebody that's willing to check their stuff, right?
Somebody is willing to get,
I don't have all the answers,
but if I'm goofing up or if I'm off culture,
I'm gonna go get, I'm gonna figure it out.
I'm gonna go seek counsel.
I'm gonna go see a counselor.
I'm gonna do the heart work.
I'm gonna do whatever it is because,
and I am coming from a broken paradigm
where my ex wouldn't do any of that.
And like, even though, and so like,
but at the same time, I think the willingness
to be self-aware and to do the work is huge.
And that's why I love the heart work book
and like in this whole group
is because people are actually wanting to change
and wanting to grow.
So that's why.
It's a good barometer.
Like the heart work as a protocol, as a course in life,
because everybody has heart work to do
to some level or degree.
So it's a perfect barometer to be able to say,
hey, if you're not willing to do any introspective look,
heart work, that kind of work,
anything to go, huh, I'm wonder.
Like look at yourself in a wonderment,
not necessarily in criticism.
You know, that sense of curiosity.
It's like a wonder if, like what would life be like
if I did things differently or I changed
or I was like at my best at in this way.
You know, so that's just that general sense of curiosity.
I love the fact that you brought up like a learner,
you know, someone who is inquisitive.
and in wonderment about what could be,
what is the possibility of their own potential
and then the potential with somebody else.
So that, if you can peek a person's sense of curiosity
and wonderment, that's a pretty good indicator.
Anybody else?
I like how you're saying that, David,
because it's very true, do they have a creative mind?
Are they able to move forward or are they stuck?
Because it shows the element of pride.
For me, I asked them recently,
if we were having struggles
and we couldn't get past something somehow,
are you receptible to see a counselor
to help us through this portion?
Because my last wife wouldn't see a counselor whatsoever.
And so, like somebody else's, I think Mike said that.
But anyway, the point is, are they willing to take,
what am I trying to say here, guys?
Come on, help me out.
Well, a simple way to put it would be just to say,
are they open to help of any kind?
So like a simple thing would be like,
hey, I have a problem, oh, hey, let me help you with that.
No, no, no, no, no, don't worry about it,
I can do it myself.
It's like that would be sort of like,
oh, I'd just like to help you with that,
why can't you receive help?
So just the general idea of being open to being helped
in any way can be an early indicator
in a relationship to go,
oh, this person's willing to be helped,
this person is open to additional input
versus just, no, I can do it myself,
I'm all right, I'm good.
Like that shows closed off,
that shows someone who's not willing to go there
to make things better.
And guys are notorious for that.
And are they seeking, like, okay,
so there's, I mean, the fact that like Kent and I,
you nailed it, like, are they willing,
you're gonna have issues in relationships, right?
So what, like, are you willing to get help in that?
But, you know, I think is a huge thing,
but also are they, I, okay,
so the fact that they want to get help
or are willing to accept help, that's one thing,
but I look for somebody who's looking to handle their,
like, handle their own stuff,
like, you know, handle their business, right?
You know, because you can't be always dragging somebody
to a counselor if they aren't handled,
I don't know, I'm stumbling on it,
but like, basically if they're not handling their own stuff,
like, you know, or showing the desire to,
maybe they may not know how,
but if they're like, yeah, I'm stuck with this,
can you help me?
Then they're self-starting versus just doing it
because you asked them.
Yeah, I mean, you know, maybe a way to put that,
maybe a way to put that there, Mike, is, you know, like,
you know, getting a counselor is just a resource,
you know, and maybe another way to put that is,
is the person resourceful?
Like, not just, like, being able to, like,
make their life work,
but, like, are they resourceful enough to where, like,
hey, you know, I want to be better,
I want to get better,
so I'm going to reach out to someone or something
as a resource to be able to, like, improve themselves.
That's what reading books does as a learner,
that's what, you know, working, doing the heart work
as somebody who is seeking, you know, heart,
a healthy heart is to be able to reach out
and to invest in even, you know,
a resource that would be able to help them.
I'm finding one thing with one young lady
that I was dealing with here, David,
was that she didn't have the funds to do so.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, and because that was a real hindrance for her,
she was more than willing to,
but also she wasn't willing to take my funds
because I was trying to invest into her.
Yeah.
Into her welfare and the pride element of,
no, that's okay, I can do this.
Yeah.
I can't use your card, et cetera, et cetera,
but it's not a big deal.
Yeah, yeah.
That doesn't tell her of pride or of simply,
she's been so independent for so long,
she just can't receive.
Yeah, exactly.
So someone who really does need a healthier heart
in that way to be able to go, you know what?
I do realize that there's more that can be had in this,
and you know what?
It's worth the investment.
It's worth taking that from somebody.
But yeah, that's definitely a heartwarming for sure.
I would say someone that's a creative, uh, a young lady that I'm, uh, pursuing
now in dating, I opened up with, uh, it was on arc dating, so it was just
like one of those, like things that was on our profile of let's talk about
everything, and I was like, if you could be any type of lion, what kind of lion
would you be and whether it's a lion or a dinosaur or just whatever thing that
you can relate to talking about, uh, it kind of gives a little insight into, is
a person stuck in like a concrete pattern of thinking or do they have an
imagination?
Do they have a, I can be silly and not take this too seriously.
Just like I can not take life too seriously.
I can be creative in my response, I think kind of shows like, uh, a base
foundation of, I can stretch.
Yeah.
To which she responded, she's a fierce lion.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
I responded, I'm Lafcadio.
I just want to chill and eat marshmallows, but I'm totally capable of taking out
the hunter and stealing his gun.
Nice.
Now that's, that's that whimsical, that fun.
I mean, that's why it's important earlier on in the relationship to be able to just
keep it at a very, like, you know, dare I say, primitive level in the sense of just
like, Hey, we're just here to have fun.
Like, and ha and through having fun through having some, some lighthearted
discourse, you kind of get to know the person to know, like, you know, to take
the next step, the next step, the next step.
Like each encounter is really designed to be able to go, do I want to, you
know, take this one step further?
That's why it's a yes until it's a no is such good advice.
It's, it's a good thing to keep in mind and to not have to go like, Oh, all the
way to, you know, the depths of a relationship in the first date, you know,
that's why that's bad advice.
It's because it takes a moment to take those steps.
Who's got something else on this?
Yeah, I got one.
Anybody that's in or yeah, we'll listen.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Right.
Well, I was thinking what is why we're, so we're discussing and what will
make the person want to grow?
Well, the question can be in incentive, like give him incentive to want to grow
because, because, you know, when I was in school, I always thought the incentive
was in school, we have this thing about trying to be the best or trophies or
anything, and of course it doesn't mean you're going to grow and where it did
create an environment of good golden student or black sheep, but the whole
idea of having that kind of standard in schools is to, is to make you more
independent and grow as individuals.
Basically you want to grow because you can fit well and you can, you
can help yourself to a lot of stuff.
You could do a lot more.
I think that's, I think that's a great point, uh, Hunter, actually, because
what it makes me think about is when you encounter somebody that's new, you know,
you're, you're opening yourself up to this person who you don't know.
And sometimes that can be scary, but it also can be very refreshing.
I don't know anything about this person.
This person is like, I'm discovering things.
Like I discovered things about my wife and still do to this day.
That's like, wow, this, this woman is dedicated to, to growth in a way
that it affects me, not just even herself.
There you go.
And vice versa.
We're kind of like, we're growing together.
We, we recognize that willingness early on, but at the same time, we had no idea
in what ways we would affect each other in the areas of growth, um, you know,
do we, do we have now, but I love that incentive when somebody brings you like
somebody that you meet that's fascinating to you, you know, can really bring you
into another level and break you out of a state of mind can introduce you into
a new way of thinking can kind of show you, Hey, have you ever done it this way?
Have you ever done it that way?
Have you ever thought about this?
Those are the kinds of like, that's what I think when Hunter said incentive,
like, you know, the newness of somebody that is, um, what, what potential can
you bring to a relationship.
And that's kind of what I think is cool
about sort of the male factor
of bringing something to a relationship
where it's like, I've got something to give.
You know, those are worthy things to be discovered
when both the man and the woman
have something to bring to the relationship
to be able to share, to give in terms of potential.
Yeah.
Another thing is too, is the consequences.
Because if you don't grow
and you can look back in your life
and you show regret, if only, if only.
It all started when I was playing video games
and playing with my siblings when it's a nice sunny day.
My mom's way of making us grow is just to turn off the TV,
go outside and play.
Yeah.
And then, because if you go outside and it's raining,
well, forget it, you just missed the time
when you could have just played outside
and rather than sit inside.
Playing video games is just when it's a hot, cold day,
when it's raining.
Absolutely.
That's a good point.
That's a good point about the bringing up the potential
or bringing up the consequence
or the bringing up the, forget what the word you used before,
but the rewards, the reward.
The reward of meeting somebody,
what they can bring to your life.
Love that.
Well, like anybody else.
Because that's just so true.
It's what building material will they bring
to help build a great relationship?
It's just not all one-sided.
If she's got material she can bring to the table as well.
I like that.
It's a great idea.
Good thought.
Thank you.
And it's more than just, you know, obviously like,
well, what do you have to bring to the table?
You know, like, we don't want to get into that sort of like,
but it is a part of discovery in terms of that person's,
you know, the value that's in that person.
So the unrefined or the diamonds in the rough, if you will.
And that is part of the marriage relationship for sure.
Like if you allow it, it's not if it could be,
or if you're with the right person.
It literally comes down to if you allow it.
If you, the man, if you, the woman,
allow this relationship to refine you, it will.
And it can.
And it's designed that way, I think by God,
really to make us better.
Absolutely.
Who else has something on this?
Anybody?
Something else.
It's not someone, it's not from an experience of dating,
but just a general principle of humanity, I think.
Someone that accepts an invitation
in some way, shape or form,
whether it's verbal or just watching you do something
that jumps into some type of community with you.
So I drove across country to Washington DC
over the course of the last two weeks
to go volunteer with Gold Star Families
and a surviving spouse watched me put on
and run around in an inflatable T-Rex costume
and just acted like a dinosaur next to me with her son.
And they both thought it was the most hysterical thing ever.
But it's just moments to be,
I guess, willing to change or willing to
enjoy fruits of the spirit in the face of grief and loss
or in the face of even just general adversity in the world.
Thoughts?
Kenton, you're it.
No, I like that thought, David.
I've thought of it as a, like a capacity for joy.
I wanna be with a woman who has a high capacity for joy.
Yeah.
That's good.
Hey, I just want, I just look at,
one thing reminds me of the woman I want is,
I look back at when I was in high school,
I see all these girls getting all these awards
like National Arts Society or straight smarts girls.
And I expect that to be my standard
because I am a special needs guy
and you shouldn't have this problem, that sort of stuff.
I don't know if that's a good one or not
because I just noticed it needs to be gross somehow.
I mean, I've been able to do this.
How can they not?
Is that a heaven non-negotiable for you or?
I think it could be a social non-negotiable.
My heaven non-negotiable is making me move out of my country because I love my country.
Speaking of which, has anyone heard from Andy?
I think he's stayed somewhere already, those Filipinos.
But I mean, did he make it back to the States or?
I don't think he took that trip yet because it seemed like it was kind of far out in the
future.
I don't think it's come yet.
Gotcha.
I've not heard specifically, but I seem to remember it didn't seem like it was going
to happen until like July or something.
Okay.
Oh, because I already seem to remember that.
I'm already on a video chat date on Southwest somewhere already, but they're in the UK.
Yeah, I think staying in country can be a non-negotiable.
I mean, it depends on who you are, but yeah, nothing wrong with that being a non-negotiable.
It definitely aligns with like if you have a profession and even though you're not your
wife's provider and your wife is not your provider, but God is your provider for both
of you, I think there's still a sense of familiarity and like unless you feel Holy Spirit leading
you somewhere that you would want that sense of stability and solidarity within an area
that you know and what you feel you're capable of.
But yeah, I think that is fine.
Going back to kind of the qualities, so Mike proposed the question first on, you know,
do we date for potential and what does that look like and then we determined that we don't
necessarily date for potential, but we do look for qualities of growth.
And so if there were to be made a list, you know, we discourage long lists and there definitely
are non-negotiables, but I think there are qualities that you're looking for.
So if you're going to sort of look for like a list of things that you want to find a person,
I think some of the things we've already mentioned here would be worthy of being on that list.
Someone who is open for growth, someone who is, you know, who has a good sense of joy
or humor, some people really aren't that funny, but they can be joy, you know, they can be
willing to, you know, enjoy things and be lighthearted.
So maybe just a good sense of joy, I don't know, that's too general, maybe this can be
more specific on that.
But those kinds of things, those qualities that you're looking for, you know, and those
qualities could be expressed in so many different ways.
That's why having a broad category, there's a lot of ways that can manifest in a person
is what I'm trying to say.
So if you're like, well, this person's not a very joyful person, yeah, but can they have fun?
Well, yeah, I guess so, because we kind of had fun when we did this one thing.
Oh, okay, well then they're leaning into a sense of joy, even though you might not describe
them as a joyful person, you know what I'm saying?
So like, you got to sort of like, you got to be broad enough with the category in order
to be able to say these are the kind of qualities, these three or four different qualities.
And what I'm getting at here, if you're making a list, rather than making a list of what
she's got to look like this, and she's got to do this, and she's got to have this much
money and not that any of you guys are doing that, but what I'm trying to say is like,
that's why we discourage the list, you know what I'm saying?
Because the list lots of times really hinders more than it helps to find a mate.
But if you were to put a list together, the kind of list you really want to make is a
quality list.
Like, what are the qualities I want to find in this person?
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I would definitely say someone who employs mindfulness, like it talks a little bit in
the Heart Work book about being mindful, not just of our own background and traumas
and how they kind of throw us into what's the phrase, like a self-fulfilling prophecy
and that loop, I can't remember what the word is for it.
But besides that, just like, you know, not just.
Consuming the word but being mindful of what we do consume in the world at large
Like stuff from AI and Internet and other inventions type of thing look like lukewarm. It's what you meant
Not just lukewarm, but I mean like
Someone I talked to you only consumes alcohol like literally once a year. I don't consume alcohol at all
doesn't mean that someone that does consume alcohol is
Unmindful or or wrong for doing so it's just like for us. We're just like we're aware of what that does to us
And and it doesn't produce fruits of the spirit for anything it kind of
Keeps us from Holy Spirit's presence or just like recently
I told my combat vet group. I was like, hey, I want to work on not using profanity anymore
Using profanity anymore and just being considerate of
The words I have have an impact on others as well as myself that for a while
I was just okay with you know, and and now I'm at that point where I'm like, oh, I'm not okay with that anymore
and I don't want to
have those
opportunities
that I could meet my person be thrown out the window just because I said something that's
Vulgar course or just rude
so
things of that nature just
David
As David is saying these things. It makes me think about how considerate
All of you guys are because I've heard things not only in this call
But over the you know over the months and years or that we've been talking
Each one of you has said very considerate sort of things and I'm wondering like here's a considerate a bunch
Here's a bunch of guys who are actually thoughtful considerate
thinking about these things like very open very willing to be transformed be
very very willing to be
transparent and all that I'm like
Why are these guys not married like?
Where are the women like women are asking like where the guys like where are the women for these guys?
Where the women for you guys?
you know, I'm asking this kind of rhetorically, but I'm just like
I'm just kind of you know an
awestruck here
As I'm doing this so as a way of maybe encouraging you guys you guys are a bunch of really open thoughtful
considerate guys
And I'm just wondering
Where the women at why don't the women see this? Why don't the women?
you know
Why haven't you guys been gobbled up
Any thoughts on that
Are we putting ourselves
No, just saying it's a great question because I can't answer it
But I mean, it's true guys, I mean that's a compliment to you I mean you guys are you guys are putting in
tremendous amount of effort and work
to be
You know what you can be to be your better self
Yes, do the hard work. I mean that step was the starting point for a lot of you, but I
Was married
26 years and
She passed away in 2019
Yeah, and I am I
Have my house by myself and it's peaceful
And it's the first time I've ever like lived off by myself without someone else or family and it's
It's kind of quiet. It's kind of nice. I do what I want
So maybe so maybe situationally for you. It's a little bit different because of your life experience
yeah, I mean I've dated a little well, I've dated and I've seen a couple different women and
Friends with one now is I don't know. I'm kind of
At first I want at first when she passed away
I was ready to like get right back and be married again
Cuz I was so used to being married and it seemed you used to be married
Yeah, it seems so strange and then now I'm like questioning. It's like I kind of like this
But I would like to have a partner too. I mean, yeah, it's kind of a catch-22 right now
Yeah, I know for someone like you and your situation. That would be that would be
That reality for sure if you've never been guys never been married then he was like, yeah, I've never really experienced that
That's just totally different. But yeah, I totally understand. That's so I'm totally
rational and totally acceptable
in a way you feel and and obviously I think you're probably a little bit more like well, you know,
Definitely if the right woman when the right woman depending on you know, what you're
Depending on you know, what you're right where your faith levels at not that
don't have faith, but what I'm saying is whatever it is you're believing for,
you know, whenever that woman comes along,
then it's definitely going to have to be a very special person.
Yeah, I'm trusting God.
And it's a good thing when it happens, you know, but I'm not like rushing.
Like, yeah, absolutely.
But but I think I was at first because I kind of felt
like a fish out of water.
And yeah, and if you've been married for 27 years, I mean, even
even though I was married for 14 years, I was just like,
I want to be married again, because like, I don't know, this is weird.
Not being married.
Yeah, there's a difference between I had been married before and divorced.
And there's a big difference between being divorced or being widowed.
And being widowed was a for me was a lot less traumatic
because it wasn't it was like if they were still here,
we'd still be together.
But right versus like they're still here and they don't choose me anymore.
And I still got to deal with them with the kid.
You know, that was more. Right. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I can see that.
And and I'm just yeah.
But I did want to jump right back in and I miss, you know, marriage.
I'd always been married.
But now it's kind of like I can I can be by myself.
I think before I couldn't stand to be by myself because it was just
the emptiness.
It's just kind of like, what do I do myself?
There's nobody else in the house, you know, like I'm watching TV
and no one's in the bedroom reading the book or whatever.
And it was kind of strange.
And yeah, now I've kind of grown accustomed to.
Being here, it's interesting.
Yeah. Who else?
Who else wants to?
The question I posed just a few minutes ago, like.
Why? Where's where the women at?
You're you're conscientious.
You're changing. You're open.
You're healthy hearted men.
Yeah. Let me step into that one, if I can do.
Yeah. Jackie posed the question last week.
I wasn't there, but I saw the replay on it.
Wish I could have been there because I would love to have feedback on it.
I'm at a nine point five point ten.
You she was asking at what level are you ready for a relationship?
And being 10, you are bang on, ready to go tomorrow to get married.
And yeah, you're no, not at all.
So anyway, I'm a nine point five to a ten.
And that's the problem.
Meeting women is like everything.
You can say everything out there.
Drop your hanky, as the women say.
What do what it's like for us?
What? Drop an anvil so they get to know anyway.
And it's not taking.
It's like, look, no takers.
Yeah. And I for myself,
if you really knew me and most of you guys don't, but.
I would bend over backwards for a woman to make her happy
without losing myself.
I know. Yeah.
And that's and if they would only have me be like.
Each one of us is unique, but I look at myself as I am super unique.
So, yeah, David, I'll even take you on, David.
Hey, you know what?
Being out there in the middle of nowhere, Canada, like
we don't understand what that's like.
Like us in the States, you know, it's just it's just different.
Unless, you know, you live in Montana or something.
I don't know if you guys where some of you guys live, but.
Upstate New York. I mean, well, no, no.
Up in upper New York, upstate New York. Yeah.
No, we we are.
We are no different than a place like Boise or or Seattle.
I mean, yeah, no, no, no.
And I get that.
I get that because like I get that because one of our success stories,
the woman, I mean, this I don't know if you guys have heard the story before,
and I don't know all the full details, but the basics of the story is that she.
It was in our program for, I think, two years,
and she lived in Perth, Australia.
And I don't know if you know anything about Perth, Australia,
but Perth, Australia, statistically, demographically
geographically is literally
the most isolated major city in the world.
It is farther from any place else
in terms of like getting resources, in terms of travel.
This is so isolated that as a as a major city.
That you're like, you know, it's just like there's no men here.
Like she and that was kind of her thing.
There's no I know all the guys here.
They're all the men here. I met them all.
She's like, well, how many?
Jackie's like, how many people live in Perth?
You know, I don't remember the number, but it was not one.
And it wasn't 100.
And it wasn't, you know, a couple thousand.
It's like whatever the population is.
He goes, there's no way you've met every man in Perth,
you know, like, and she's like trying to like,
kind of shift her out of her focus.
And she did the hard work and she came through some stuff.
The man that she actually ended up marrying
happened to be someone, I think that she knew him
or knew of him, but she was, he was in her church.
Now that doesn't mean he had to always meet
the person in church, but it just so happens.
He was just, whenever it was, something shifted in her,
something shifted in her perspective,
something that he was highlighted.
And then there's a whole, you know,
dramatic details, feminine side of the story.
There's like, oh, that's so sweet, blah, blah, blah,
whatever.
The point of the story is, is that even in Perth, Australia,
the most isolated city in the world,
it's possible to meet your significant other person.
So there's that little bit of encouragement there.
And yeah, lots of times it's just a matter of like,
a shift and not only a shift in you,
but a shift in maybe that person,
maybe that other person.
And you're just waiting for them to be shifted
for a moment.
And it happens.
She actually ended up coming all the way,
she and her husband actually ended up coming
all the way to Austin, Texas,
journeyed on their own dime
to come and travel to Austin, Texas
to actually do the marriage ceremony.
So they actually came to Austin, Texas for Jackie
to actually officiate the wedding.
This was a couple of years ago.
So just so you know, people like, Kenton says,
like, and I believe you when you say it, Kenton,
you would literally go to the ends of the earth
to make a woman happy.
And I believe that.
So I don't know if that's any level of encouragement
for you, but I'm just telling you, it's possible.
It's happened before.
It's happened once, it'll happen again.
Yeah, because most of the women
that actually do contact me are like,
I'm an athlete and you're 400 pounds too much.
It's like, they have no inclination
of what's on that profile.
It's one of the first thing I put on there right away.
I'm an athlete looking for the same.
And like, no, these are women that are huge.
It's funny, it's funny,
because we have all kinds in our program,
as far as just different types of people
and backgrounds, life, all that kind of stuff.
But we actually have an incredible amount
of very healthy, fit, with it, women
who are 55 plus, that range.
And when I say 55 plus, I mean 55 plus,
five, 10, 15 years.
And I'm just amazed that there hasn't been anyone,
any connection like that.
But I hate to use the word like,
well, it's just the timing of God.
But I mean, like, I don't know,
there's just some timing about it.
I will say this, one of our team members,
you all know Renee, Renee Rizzo.
You might've seen her in some other videos in years past.
She was a team member of ours for a long time.
And she probably gonna come back
and do some more coaching for us.
But she had to take a break.
She was 55 and had never been married.
And she was like, what is going on?
You're like, what is, I mean, I'm doing dating this guy.
And then I got a couple of potential relationships,
this and that, whatever, they went sideways.
And she'd been doing everything.
She's an amazing lady.
She's fit, she's healthy, she's intelligent,
she's educated, she's, I mean, she's everything, right?
And she did finally get into a relationship
with a guy, they're engaged and they're gonna get married.
And we just met him the other day
and we kind of like put him through the gauntlet.
It was kind of fun to do that.
And he was very good hearted and spirited about it,
but he's a great guy.
But they themselves said that had they met
even just a few months or six months
or even a year before, because of their own circumstances,
they definitely might not have hit it off
as well as they did now.
And so they did attest to the fact that timing
was very important and how this all worked out,
even though for years, she's like, oh my gosh,
I'm getting so tired of being single.
And I've done every single thing in the world,
but I've been to all these different churches
and I've been to all these different things that I've even,
I mean, here I am in the singles program.
I'm one of the master heart coaches,
and here I am helping all these other women
get their story and seeing their story.
And what about me?
She's a team member of ours.
And so finally she met somebody,
they're engaged, they're getting married,
but they definitely attested.
fact that timing was definitely very, very important and strategic in their meeting.
And so there's something about that. So don't want to be timing, the timing answer. I don't
want that to be discouraging, but I want that to be like, you know, when it's right, it's right
sort of thing, you know, hopeful for sure. Well, and like just in the way, you know,
one of my encouragements and one of the things that I'm personally doing, and that's why I have
94 audio books, right, is I'm getting ready. I'm investing in me. I'm investing in me and us. So
in the waiting and when you're waiting on the timing, be bettering yourself, be, you know,
becoming the best you, right? And, and like this week, you know, Jackie got some advice from Jackie
last week, because I literally, and the other thing guys is I just left a church that I've
been at for four years now, right? And because I felt like the Lord was calling me to a different
church, right? And it's hard. It's, I love a lot of people in that church, right? But sometimes
the Lord calls you to something that's hard, right? Like leaving something so you can actually
walk into your promised land. You know, and that's what Jackie, you know, was talking about,
like, what's holding you up? And, you know, and I'm not saying just randomly leave your church,
because you want change. But I am saying if the Lord's prompting you to move, move. And,
and like, I waited to do it, but like, do the hard thing. It's a, you know, it's a growth
opportunity. I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and I'm positioned in the kingdom
where I need to be. But yeah, grow yourself, you know, be, be the best you, you know, be,
be good with you. So when somebody comes along, you guys are just fun, have fun together. And,
you know, I'm still struggling to learn how to have fun, because as a kid, I never really had a
chance. But you know, I'm like, that's one of my growth opportunities. But I just think, I just
encourage you, even in the waiting, get yourself better. You know, it's, it's waiting biblically is
not sitting there waiting for something. It's actually moving and partnering with God. That's
good. And so, yeah. Thank you, Mike. That's good, Sharon. Thank you for sharing that. It's good
stuff. Definitely put yourself out there in the path where you're likely to meet your future wife,
you know. Like one, like one of the biggest
changes I'd seen in these prayer calls, in these heartwork calls is
seeing Andy go from, oh, no, I can't possibly talk to anyone. I don't know how to have
conversations. Went straight out to, I'm traveling to a completely different country
that I'm traveling halfway around the world. Yeah. Oh, and also I've never internationally
traveled. I'm like, yeah, that was like, just, that was such a huge change. That was such a huge,
I'm going to really put myself out there. Like, just being brave. And even, even myself putting
myself out there and just talking to people and coming across a whole bunch of avoidant
attachment styles. I'm like, yep, that's not going to work. But yeah, I just extend that
opportunity for community and conversation. I love the fact, I love the fact you guys are
learning about yourself. I'm constantly learning about myself because I live with,
I live with a crucible of just constant improvement and learning. My wife is a
constant refining for me and I am for her as well, but it seems like I am more in pain the most
than my refinement. I don't know. Did you guys hear, did you guys see that little
bit of social media that my wife put out the other day? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it was,
um, I, I don't want to quote it because it was too good. It was funny, but it was something about
daddy got us, daddy's mad at us. And I said, daddy, who? She said, God, you know,
she cares. And I said, why? And he says, because we're not. And she said, because we're not getting
along. Cause we had just had a fight and, um, so we're not getting along. And then I was silent
for a moment. And she answers back. Well, he's really just mad at you.
And then we had a really good laugh about that. It was very funny, but that's a very
mature kind of conversation that you might have one day with your wife.
And I don't know if y'all appreciated that, but.
That's that old, I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. Yeah.
Good stuff.
Well, guys, I love that this is a good conversation.
I think I didn't hear from everyone on this call.
Most of you.
I was going to say, did you hear my fun news at the beginning of this call, David?
I don't know that I did.
You did?
I don't know that I did.
Oh, so I met a girl on this road trip who agrees that it would be a fun idea so long
as she has a smock or a change of clothes to have a birthday cake fight at a future wedding.
Birthday cake fight?
That kind of sounds like your kind of woman.
I know, I was like, it came up in a previous call from like months back where you were
like kind of scolding Abram and I like, no bride wants a birthday cake fight at a wedding.
I'm like, oh, this is it, I'm in search now.
A birthday cake fight at a wedding?
Yeah, so you like take it with your face and pick it up and sling it at people.
Oh, okay.
I don't know if it's a tradition, I don't really recommend it because no bride against,
and I will stand by that.
No bride wants her, you know, appearance and all that, wedding dress, everything could
be ruined.
But, you know, when you smash wedding cake in each other's face at that moment in the
party, there's a lot of people that do that.
I don't think that the typical bride wants that.
But, David, you might have found a woman who's potential there for you.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just leaning into Holy Spirit on it all.
And just maintaining that.
But if it ever gets serious, if it ever gets serious, definitely pass it by Organico.
Now, are you serious about this?
Remember what you said?
If you're not, if you're not, then I want to be respectful of that.
Yeah, you're going to be at the wedding, David.
Yeah, another thing is I thought of another thing for my season in life is to go, I'm
going to be traveling abroad in October and fall.
The Greece, the roads, and then I'll join the cruise, Singles Cruise in January, figuring
sure I'll meet someone.
But you know what?
Why not?
I may not go with someone.
I'll go with a group.
But you know what?
Why not just go do it?
Because it's better to do it now before you meet someone.
Because if you focus on wanting her now, you're going to miss out on these trips you
could go on.
Because if you marry and feed me my spirit mate, well, that door will be closed.
So go do it while I can.
Go do it while I can.
There's a little bit of go do it while you can.
But at the same time, there's also a little bit of like, it'd be really cool to do it
with somebody as well.
So I think it's both and.
I love that.
And then it'll cost money.
And where she says, oh, I'm sick and bails out the last minute.
No, what's what's money?
What's money but an object?
Couples discount, Hunter.
There you go.
Where the hell did that come from?
There's a little bit of there's a little bit of truth.
I will say this, guys, a little bit of truth that that two is better than one.
And I want to be very careful with that, because young people like they're like, oh,
they do irresponsible things.
But sometimes it is a little better.
Two is better than one.
Sometimes.
Absolutely.
One can who can wow.
One word from Thomas tonight.
One word.
That was it.
Thomas with the mic drop.
Yeah, he was.
He was like, absolutely.
I love it.
All right, guys, we're past the hour.
So I want to go.
I'm standing on the street trying to find the rest of my family here.
If you didn't know, I'm on kind of like a girl's trip.
And I'm the chauffeur.
I'm the designated driver.
I'm the guy on the trip.
They were going to go really by themselves.
And then somebody freaked out and said, no, I'm going to have dad go with us.
So I'm on this trip.
Did you get my email?
I did.
I looked at your matches, Kenton.
Yeah, it it didn't match with anybody.
It didn't match with anybody.
No, seriously.
I'm not kidding.
You know who it matched with?
Mm hmm.
You know who it matched with?
With me?
What?
Jesus.
It matched with Abram.
I mean, hey.
Tag team.
Back again.
So we're going to we're going to have to.
we're gonna have to work out i don't know we're gonna work on something i don't
like it just means you're too amazing man
that's what it is out there you couldn't speak any truer on that one
because i know it and god knows it hey we're having fun with it
yeah i'm like if you're willing to if you're willing to meet someone that
unfortunately doesn't work out right now but could be convinced to work out
my mom mom wow you have to come to vegas for that
there you go nice guys putting his mom out there wow
you could be david's father oh yeah that's powerful
hey yeah david needs i mean i'm signing up for this right now i totally want
kenton over more often yeah i mean i i've yet to have him over
the first time but i'm up for the second third up to the 99th
there you go i need backup at the cake fight
okay oh you got her brother you should see it i did as a pastor in our church
um during one of our social times and we started a cake fight
oh was that fun the whole church erupted
wow it's such a joy
that's the kind of fun kind of fun guy i am though if you're not having fun let's
let's create fun in this very boring moment
that's good i wonder what a canadian cake fight is like
that's probably in the shape of a triangle very polite
that's what we're polite i was gonna say that who said that
it's what i said what are you gonna say i said it's very polite
hey you know what i was gonna say sorry i didn't get a chance to say this
earlier but when we were talking about the
characteristics to look for in a partner one of the things
one of the things that all of those had in common is it takes time
to see those things and so you gotta you gotta
even david i think you use the word patterns so you need to allow
you just need to allow time you gotta pay the price of time
100 yeah yeah yeah that's that's good daniel and i'm
glad you brought that up because um that's kind of what i was alluding to
without trying to kind of sound discouraging like oh it just
takes time but you're right it does it takes a
moment for those things to sort of reveal themselves
you know you don't know those things on a first date sometimes
so it's good stuff i appreciate you mentioning that
all right guys i'm gonna jump off here and
love you guys god bless welcome to men's heartwork good discussion tonight hope
you guys have got a lot out of it we'll see you on the flip side
bye man take care have a good one have fun
we will