WEBVTT

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Alright, awesome. Welcome, ladies. This is our Love Story Accelerator live check-in call

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for June 3rd of 2025. For those of you who don't know me or are watching in replay, I'm

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Carla Johnson. I'm one of the dating coaches here at Last Year Single. I'm a success story.

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I've worked this program myself, came to find Jackie towards the middle and end of 2020

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and have been with her since. It took me a couple years, but my husband did find me.

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I had to release a lot. I had to surrender the pen on a lot of things. I had to allow

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God to come in and heal things that I didn't even realize I needed a healing from. I had

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to get uncomfortable at times, take the wisdom and guidance from Jackie over and over and

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over again, but it did happen. It's just an honor and blessing to be here. It truly is

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just awesome to be able to walk on this journey with you ladies and give you all what I received

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in this program. It's truly my heart. I hope you ladies always know that there are times

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I have to rip band-aids off. I have to have difficult conversations. I have to expose

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things sometimes. I hope that you know my love for each and every one of you is strong.

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I care about you all because I've experienced it myself. Just know that all of us here at

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Last Year's Single Love care about you tremendously. We know that God has wonderful, great things

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in store for you, not just the husband, but so much more. There's just so much healing,

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redemption, reconciliation, upgrades, and breakthroughs that last forever. To me, that

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is the biggest part. Coming and showing up and being vulnerable is so important in this

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program. While yes, we always are like, this is the dating for discovery phase, if you

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will, where we release you ladies to start dating the men, I do want you to realize it's

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not just all about dating men. Even if you're stuck and not getting dates or you're getting

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frustrated on your dates or you're not dating, maybe you're like, I need to just heal a little

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more. I need to sit and soak it in. You're in the right place. There's so much that it's not

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just about dating. I know that one of our ladies in Roll Call is our good friend, Mary. I don't

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think she can be with us today, but she was like, I think I need to just pause being here

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because she's going through some other stuff that really doesn't have anything to do with dating,

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but it does have everything to do with heartwork. That's what our foundation is here.

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That's why we have the Love Story successes is because heartwork is at the core, at the center

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of it. Just because you might need to push pause on dating because you're going through

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something, it doesn't mean that you can't come to this community and get support and share with us

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what you need from us, how we can help you in whatever season you're in. I hope that you

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ladies know that. I really wanted to take time to emphasize that because I know sometimes, again,

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we can get like, well, this is the dating phase. I have to be dating. That's not necessarily the

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case. Yes, we want you coming out of hiding and we want you practicing dating and doing it

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differently than you did before heartwork, but sometimes our journeys look a little different

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than what we anticipate. That's super important. Again, I hope you all hear my heart and hear our

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sincerity, but we're always here for you. A couple of housekeeping things. Okay, good. I'm

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seeing more ladies coming on, so this is good. I was a little worried when I was like, wait,

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this is a new link because I always still go to the app. I still click on it, but I'm like,

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that's a different password. I'm glad I'm seeing more people showing up. That's good.

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A couple of housekeeping things. Just a reminder, ladies, please refrain from creating any post

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that link authors, speakers, pastors, influencers, any of that. Did I say authors?

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We just don't have the bandwidth to vet their libraries and we want to always make sure that

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it aligns with what we teach here at Last Year Single. If

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If you happen to do that, and then we remove it,

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and you don't see it, just know it's,

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if you linked somebody or quoted a pastor or an author,

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we have to usually take those down.

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So just keep that in mind.

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It's not that what you're sharing isn't powerful,

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and we're excited that that's something that helps you,

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or is connecting you with God in a different way.

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Like, that's amazing.

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We just need to make sure that we honor what we teach here.

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And like I said, it doesn't mean that those authors

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and speakers aren't amazing,

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but we just can't bet their library, okay?

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I hope you all understand.

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So that's one.

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And then I do wanna remind you ladies,

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just a brief reminder, we do have an admin email,

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but I really wanna emphasize that those admin emails,

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we cannot take personal coaching questions on that email.

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Okay?

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And so if you have to reach out to somebody on the team

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for like a technical question,

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please just post in the app and give us, you know,

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even a brief overview of what it is your question entails,

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because we can help kind of direct you,

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whether to send the email or if we know,

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I'm like, oh, I know I can contact this person for you

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and get the answer for you.

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As long as, you know,

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I understand some things are more personal in nature,

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but we have an admin email,

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we just have to make sure that we're not asking

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personal coaching questions, okay?

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Like if you have a dating situation

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or a heartwork situation,

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we can't, we just can't take all of those emails in that,

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because it's, we have lots of emails that come in,

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hundreds of emails come in a day.

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And so the manpower it takes

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to answer all those emails is just,

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it can get overwhelming if we're doing that.

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Now, what I will say is we are in the works

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of getting a website together

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where we do offer personal one-on-one coaching sessions.

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Those are an additional cost.

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They're 50 minute sessions.

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If you just need more one-on-one time with a coach

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to process through something.

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We have this, you know, forum here on Tuesdays

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for you ladies to ask your brief questions

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and for myself or Ebony to give you a quick response.

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And sometimes, you know, we unpack a little more

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and it actually helps other women

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on their growth and healing journey as well.

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But we are in the works

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of getting that put together as well.

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So we do offer that, there's just limited sessions,

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but we have a handful of coaches,

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myself and Ebony included,

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that do take one-on-one calls, okay?

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So just keep that in mind.

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We haven't launched that website yet.

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So don't like, don't overload us too much, all right?

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I know it's exciting, but just keep that in mind.

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Like if you just feel like I need a little bit more

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than what we're doing in the app

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and on these live sessions.

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But I do wanna emphasize

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when you ladies come with your questions,

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know that you're impacting all the women on the call,

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but also the ones that are on replay.

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I walked through this program

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and I got so much healing from my sisters

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that came with their questions

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and had to walk through seasons of their life

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that they had to, you know, grow and learn from.

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It helped me and it gave me encouragement,

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helped me feel like I wasn't, you know,

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alone and by myself in this process.

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So I want to encourage you ladies

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to allow yourselves to get vulnerable here,

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allow yourselves to open up and share with us,

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like your heart, we're here.

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Like, you know, there's no judgment, there's no,

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and if you're starting to feel like there's judgment

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and you're feeling guilty or shame or anything,

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like remind yourself that that's from the,

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that's a lie from the pit of hell.

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God does like, God wants community.

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Like he wants you healed, he wants you married,

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he wants you in community.

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Like, so when the enemy is lying to you

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about that stuff, like you just,

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you can send that straight back to hell, okay?

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So I just really want to emphasize that,

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allow yourself to come here and get vulnerable.

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You will see so much breakthrough from it.

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And when you come and get breakthrough

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from your vulnerability,

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you're helping other women get breakthrough as well.

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And so that's what we're here for, all right?

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And lastly, when you are finished

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with Love Story Accelerator, which is our phase,

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we, you know, it's phase two,

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but we call it Love Story Accelerator.

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Remember that best practice

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is a minimum of five weeks here, okay?

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A minimum, doesn't mean that you have to be out

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in five weeks, it's a minimum of five weeks.

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with active participation, along with completing those bit,

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you know, one video a week,

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which is gonna total five videos.

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And then once you've done that and you're ready,

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you can request to join the Love Story community.

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And that's like what we used to call phase three, okay?

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And that email is admin at JackieDorman.com, okay?

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Any questions in housekeeping stuff?

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Good?

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Everybody good?

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All right, awesome, awesome.

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Did you say that we needed to go on seven dates?

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Okay, that's a really good question, Lori.

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Before that time, because I...

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So we give you the challenge, a seven date challenge.

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That does not mean you have to complete the seven dates

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before you move on.

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Ladies, I didn't get seven dates for over a year.

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I didn't date the first year.

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Now, I wouldn't suggest that.

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But I also know I had a lot of healing to do on my own.

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I had a lot of self-worth and identity healing

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that needed to come out.

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And I had to feel comfortable and confident

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to put myself out there.

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I was also a single mom.

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So I was honestly blocked a lot of times

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thinking I didn't have time.

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Or I was being picky about the guys

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that I went on dates with.

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So the seven dates, it's just to get you activated

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and start putting yourself out there.

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Because a lot of us, we've been in relationships

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in the past and there's wounds there.

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And a lot of times those wounds kind of keep us guarded

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and not wanting to come out of that hiding

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and start getting to know men again

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and putting ourselves on dates.

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And we're dating differently now.

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We now have new information.

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We have this program.

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We give you a lot of, I don't wanna say rules

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because then I don't want y'all thinking it's so rigid.

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They're guardrails.

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We set things in place and we coach you through like,

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try this, work on this, be open to this

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because we've seen success with it.

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And even then, I don't wanna say we have rules

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because I'm a rule follower.

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And so if I broke a rule, guess what happens?

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Shame, guilt, beat myself up.

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I did this wrong.

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I ruined it.

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I ruined my spirit mate.

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You know, if that guy was my husband, I just lost my shot.

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And that's not how God operates.

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And so, you know, I can just even just briefly share.

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When I met my husband, I was ready to cut and run

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before we met in person.

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We were dating long distance, got to know each other.

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And I was trying to find every reason to just cut and run.

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Like this isn't gonna work out

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because I was just at the point

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I'm like, this is not gonna happen for me.

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I wanted to cut and run

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and I probably overshared more than I needed.

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My husband overshared a lot.

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And I know sometimes we're like,

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oh, he overshared, that's not okay.

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Then we put the rules on the men.

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And I'm so thankful that I had grace for my husband.

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I also had grace for myself when I'm like,

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ooh, that was a little too much information too soon.

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But I didn't mess it up, y'all.

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He's married to me.

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All right, so I hope that helps you, Lori,

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that, you know, again, it's not a rule

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that you have to do the seven dates.

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We wanna encourage you to get to the seven dates.

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However God decides to pace you on that is,

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we're here to support.

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We're here to support God.

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We're here to partner with God and you, okay?

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That's good.

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I have another question about readiness, but I can wait.

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Yeah, let me get through our activations

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and then raise your avatar hand.

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I see we've got three other questions.

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So we will jump into that here in a moment.

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So thank you though for that question.

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That was really, really good.

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Let me see.

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I wanna make sure I'm not missing anything.

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And then I see some people post in the chat.

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So, okay, just real quick, real brief.

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If y'all saw, if you're on last week or you saw the replay,

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I activated you.

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ladies to start, you know, reading through and processing

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through those roll call posts that Jackie or not Jackie

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Bethany post on Sunday, and putting yourself out there on

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our app and communicating with us like what's going on. So how

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did everybody do with that? We got this last Sunday and you can

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unmute to share if you if you need to, like we had. Well, we

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had Jackie had that storms that quick storms active like she

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shared that which I just watched that today y'all how we're full

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because and I don't know if you ever are on those supernatural

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Saturdays or you hear them a lot of times when Jackie's

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releasing words over our community. She's also talking to

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herself. And she's not it's not just Yes, we're a community of

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singles. But you know, Jackie's married, I'm married. Those

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words are are from heaven. And they're powerful. And so I

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really want you ladies making sure that you're getting on

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those supernatural Saturdays. You're reading through those

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pin posts, especially those roll calls, you're letting us know

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what's going on. So how how did everybody feel they're doing

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with that?

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Well, I can start. I've been sharing a lot more than I used

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to. And at times, I felt like I was oversharing. And you're not

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just telling you the way I felt because I could see my name on

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that app, like, post after post after post. So but it was

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stressful. And I was like, Oh, my God, I can't do this. I can't

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post after post. So but it was stretching myself out of my

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comfort zone as well.

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I love that. And ladies, did you hear that? She was getting

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anxious because she kept seeing her name. What if we all started

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posting so that we see everybody's name? And one

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person's not just always seeing their name, right? So let's,

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let's step out of that comfort zone and continue to practice.

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Not just coming out of hiding in our communities in our local

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communities and in life and, but let's come out of hiding here

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in our community here. Like some of my best friendships now are

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from this community. So many of the women in this community came

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to my wedding. I mean, people that I thought I would invite to

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my wedding, like college, you know, roommates from over 20

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years ago. They didn't make that list because those weren't the

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people that I was doing life with. I was doing life with the

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women in this community. They were here to support me and lift

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me up. I was sharing what was I was experiencing. They had

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walked through my, you know, those my last year single, my

293
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last two years single. And it was, it was beautiful. Like it

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was beautiful. And, and to be able to still have the

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relationships with them now is incredible. And like some of

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them are married and some of them are in marriage minded

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relationships and some of them are still single, but you know,

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we stay connected and we, we care for each other. And it's

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because we allowed ourselves to open up here. So really do want

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to encourage that for you ladies. So let's keep that in

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mind as we continue on this week. The next activation I

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really want to share with you ladies is I really want y'all

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practicing valuing men. And some of you are like, okay, yeah, I

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value men. Some of us, this might rub us the wrong way

305
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because we've been hurt by men. Okay. One of your sisters in

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the community shared, I just saw her post today, shared a

307
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beautiful, like growing healing revelation that she had. And I

308
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really want you. So I want you ladies getting out, making eye

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contact, smiling, and having small talk with men that you see

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out and about. Okay. Young and old. Okay. This isn't an

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activation for you only to do this with guys that you, you

312
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think are cute and you want to go on a date with. If that

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happens, awesome. Great. Like bonus, right? But it really is

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about just seeing men for their worth and their value. Okay.

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Because you're going to want men to see your worth and value

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too, because you are worthy. You are valuable. And God created

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men and women for one another.

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because we all have strengths and so let's start appreciating and valuing the

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strengths that men do have we're better together y'all that's why do you think

320
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marriage is God's does like purpose is design it's his divine plan right in the

321
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garden Adam and Eve so let's practice that this week and then I want you

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ladies posting sharing about it like don't be shy okay and if you are shy

323
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and you're struggling with this come and let us know this I'm really having a

324
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hard time with this Carla like this this is stretching me because we can unpack

325
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.520
that with you we can we can walk you through the process we're here to

326
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support you okay is there anybody

327
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nervous about this activation anybody maybe we're just not wanting to admit it

328
00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:09.080
yet I see some of you are laughing and smiling so that's good okay this is this

329
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is about having fun I will tell you Jackie had us do this years ago when I

330
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was in the program and we used to make the community of women that we were I

331
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was in we used to make it a joke about going to Home Depot because that's where

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the men were they all shop at Home Depot and Lowe's they're like you know fixing

333
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things so you know and so we would always joke about that so have fun with

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it all right okay I'm gonna check the comments here in the chat so I don't

335
00:21:45.120 --> 00:21:52.320
miss any questions and then I'm gonna open the floor for you ladies to get in

336
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the seat with your questions we'll help you unpack whatever it is that you need

337
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to unpack all right Ashley you're too you're behind on two meeting replays

338
00:22:03.760 --> 00:22:11.880
okay that's totally fine I think I've been here eight weeks okay yes yes it's

339
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fine if you're here eight weeks I totally get it I'm glad that you think

340
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it's fun I do want to encourage you ladies like it's okay to stay here for a

341
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little bit but if you really do know that you probably need to move on like

342
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you're gonna have fun in the next step to the next stage is fun too so I get it

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and I love that you got that you ladies enjoy it I try to be as upbeat and fun

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as possible I try not to take things too seriously but I also like I said I I'm

345
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gonna be your I'm gonna be your sister that's gonna be real with you like but I

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do my best to always practice it in the loving kind way because a lot of times

347
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I've been I've been there I know exactly what it's like all right Kim

348
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you've been feeling distracted okay a lot of things going on I want to get

349
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more focused and engaged good yeah distraction that's sometimes the enemy

350
00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:15.680
yeah I can't tell you the enemy is always using distraction for me I

351
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struggle with ADD and so my mind it I like me and my husband joke we're just

352
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a family of squirrels me and him and our three kids so I easily get

353
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distracted where I often times feel like I get things accomplished and then I get

354
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frustrated so just pick back up and get going it's totally fine like

355
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distractions will happen you don't have to beat yourself up for those I'm so

356
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glad you love this activation yes okay Lori it's not letting you post I need

357
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probably fixing the problems but I guess there's only email okay Lori are you um

358
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are you on the app on your phone or are you on your desktop okay so I was on my

359
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desktop okay and it just I click on I click on the to read what Bethany wrote

360
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and then underneath there it's my picture and it says to say something I

361
00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:33.080
click in there and nothing like the little blue bar comes up to for me to

362
00:24:33.080 --> 00:24:39.200
type and nothing types okay um do you have a way of downloading the app on

363
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:44.320
your phone the my app on my phone isn't working right either like it won't let

364
00:24:44.320 --> 00:24:50.720
me do these I'm really frustrated with it I know I let me do it won't let me do

365
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like so I missed the first part of the meeting because I was coming from a

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meeting and I was trying to to log on on

367
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my phone, I, I, I reinstalled, I deleted and reinstalled both

368
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:12.540
zoom and the app. I restarted my phone. And then I clicked, I

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clicked on the link and it says web page not available. And

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then so the tech support got back to me. And they sent me a

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link and I clicked on that link. And that link brought actually

372
00:25:24.660 --> 00:25:31.740
brought me up into zoom. But it said, it said, host has not

373
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started meeting yet. And like, it's 1102. And I know you guys

374
00:25:38.180 --> 00:25:42.020
start pretty promptly. And then I got in here and got on my

375
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laptop. And you are all here having your discussion. And

376
00:25:45.500 --> 00:25:47.380
yeah, okay. So

377
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so you're, so you're struggling with posting in the app, and

378
00:25:50.660 --> 00:25:53.740
then also still getting the zoom links to work.

379
00:25:55.100 --> 00:25:58.260
Hmm. Okay. Let me

380
00:25:58.660 --> 00:26:03.420
and I need I'm not techie. I mean, I need to get me and be

381
00:26:03.420 --> 00:26:06.940
like, okay, press this button, press this button, do this, do

382
00:26:06.940 --> 00:26:10.740
that. Okay, well, I'm going to encourage you again, to send an

383
00:26:10.740 --> 00:26:15.020
email to admin and just explain some of your frustrations and

384
00:26:15.060 --> 00:26:20.380
express that. Okay. Um, cuz I did be Jeff. Okay. I just did.

385
00:26:20.380 --> 00:26:21.020
Well, I mean,

386
00:26:21.340 --> 00:26:22.940
I'll follow up doing

387
00:26:23.740 --> 00:26:25.660
paying attention to you. I'm sorry.

388
00:26:25.700 --> 00:26:28.620
That's okay. That's totally fine. And I will follow up with

389
00:26:28.620 --> 00:26:31.780
the team as well and say, Hey, like, what, what can we do? We

390
00:26:31.780 --> 00:26:34.420
need to help you out so that you feel like you're accessing this.

391
00:26:34.460 --> 00:26:39.620
And, and this is my only second my only my second, like week in

392
00:26:39.620 --> 00:26:47.940
here with you guys. And I'm, I'm terrified. Like, I really am. I

393
00:26:47.940 --> 00:26:52.300
mean, I've had several confirmations that I'm supposed

394
00:26:52.340 --> 00:26:56.220
to be get married again. And but I've been married three times.

395
00:26:56.260 --> 00:27:02.300
And, and my heart has been that I want a partner, I want a

396
00:27:02.300 --> 00:27:05.740
partner, I want a partner, I've had so many confirmations. And

397
00:27:05.740 --> 00:27:10.780
now it's to this phase. And I'm like, maybe I don't. Maybe I

398
00:27:10.780 --> 00:27:13.100
don't. I think I'm good by myself.

399
00:27:13.620 --> 00:27:16.620
Enemy is coming. Well, and that's the thing, ladies, the

400
00:27:16.620 --> 00:27:21.740
enemy. I don't know about you all. But a lot of times, when I

401
00:27:21.740 --> 00:27:26.100
have technical issues with computers, I know it's the

402
00:27:26.100 --> 00:27:28.620
enemy just come in and distracting you like I do one

403
00:27:28.620 --> 00:27:32.780
on one calls with ladies. And I like I kid you not. Last week, I

404
00:27:32.780 --> 00:27:37.140
had two one on one calls with women. And we were getting

405
00:27:37.140 --> 00:27:40.860
breakthrough for I was getting we like these women were getting

406
00:27:40.860 --> 00:27:44.980
breakthrough. And then all of a sudden, things were just acting

407
00:27:44.980 --> 00:27:49.780
funny. Their their screens were freezing. I couldn't hear their

408
00:27:49.780 --> 00:27:53.500
audio. I couldn't hear them. And I'm like, what is happening?

409
00:27:53.980 --> 00:27:57.460
Y'all, that's the enemy. He's he's going to do whatever

410
00:27:57.460 --> 00:28:05.220
possible to get you derailed and off what God has for you. But

411
00:28:05.220 --> 00:28:10.140
that's when we have to claim it. We have to send it back where it

412
00:28:10.140 --> 00:28:16.580
belongs. And we're like, if anything, you know what, I must

413
00:28:16.580 --> 00:28:19.340
be doing something that the enemy doesn't want. And I'm going to

414
00:28:19.340 --> 00:28:21.900
keep pressing forward. And this is going to give me confirmation

415
00:28:21.900 --> 00:28:25.180
encouragement to keep going. Because there's healing and

416
00:28:25.180 --> 00:28:28.380
there's breakthrough. And I have purpose over my life. And God

417
00:28:28.380 --> 00:28:31.500
wants me married because he's got a purpose for my marriage is a

418
00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:34.300
purpose for my family. And the enemy is going to want to keep

419
00:28:34.300 --> 00:28:41.180
you from that. Ladies, I cannot express just even Jackie's

420
00:28:41.420 --> 00:28:44.900
coaching like this week on Supernatural Saturday and that

421
00:28:44.900 --> 00:28:49.900
brief clip she posted on the storms. Ladies, I'm experiencing

422
00:28:49.900 --> 00:28:55.940
a lot of storms. Recently, my health like, you know, I wasn't

423
00:28:55.940 --> 00:29:00.340
even anticipating coming and sharing this with y'all. But I

424
00:29:00.380 --> 00:29:03.300
was going to the doctor yesterday to get my hormone

425
00:29:03.300 --> 00:29:07.180
therapy. And they couldn't do it. Because my blood pressure

426
00:29:07.180 --> 00:29:11.180
was extremely high, to the point that I'm 42 years old, and

427
00:29:11.180 --> 00:29:15.300
they're putting me on blood pressure medicine. And I'm like,

428
00:29:15.780 --> 00:29:22.180
what? And I'm frustrated. And I mean, I'm crying. I'm just, you

429
00:29:22.180 --> 00:29:25.340
know, feeling like, why do I keep feeling like I'm in this

430
00:29:25.340 --> 00:29:29.900
storm that I cannot get out of mentally, emotionally, and now

431
00:29:29.900 --> 00:29:38.180
physically. And my husband was like, it's because you got to

432
00:29:38.180 --> 00:29:42.100
get somewhere. And y'all, my husband did not even hear

433
00:29:42.100 --> 00:29:47.940
Jackie's message. And he was saying it, she was confirming it.

434
00:29:48.740 --> 00:29:55.820
And I'm like, whoo. So I just Lori, I want just to encourage

435
00:29:55.820 --> 00:29:59.420
you, you are in the right place, we are not going to allow the

436
00:29:59.420 --> 00:29:59.980
enemy to

437
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.800
sit here and distract you and frustrate you with all the technical stuff it we are calling on the

438
00:30:06.800 --> 00:30:15.360
blood of jesus to get you through all of this technical stuff so you can get linked into us

439
00:30:15.360 --> 00:30:22.080
and you can feel the support because we are here with you you don't have to be scared we baby steps

440
00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:29.680
one day at a time all right we're gonna get you there all right um i believe it

441
00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:39.600
all right um okay let's see here any more quick questions um awesome metaphors i always love that

442
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:46.800
um if we have time i want you to share it um okay so missy yours isn't working on the app

443
00:30:46.800 --> 00:30:51.760
either you redownloaded it okay i'm gonna definitely contact the team after our call

444
00:30:51.760 --> 00:30:56.880
today and just be like look we've got a couple frustration because our app isn't

445
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:04.080
aiming to want to work with us so the enemy is trying to to get us off our track here so

446
00:31:04.800 --> 00:31:11.600
um i will i made a note so i'm gonna reach out to the team afterwards and we're just gonna pray that

447
00:31:12.560 --> 00:31:22.400
jesus finds a way okay all right um yay tuning in from italy awesome okay i do not want to take

448
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:30.320
any more any more time up um and not allow y'all to ask your questions so let's go ahead

449
00:31:30.320 --> 00:31:36.800
and get started i got four hands up don't be shy ladies don't be shy if you got questions let's

450
00:31:36.800 --> 00:31:42.720
let's hear them okay um members short brief and powerful so we can get get through everybody's

451
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:48.480
questions and we're gonna have fun and we're gonna help everybody get breakthrough sounds good

452
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:54.720
all right i got iphone user is that bernice yes girl how are you

453
00:31:56.800 --> 00:32:03.840
i miss you i'm good and i've been on here for a long time too and i know i need to move forward

454
00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:16.000
but um my question to you is um on facebook did you get a lot of likes and friend requests

455
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:23.520
but there wasn't any messages and because i'm kind of frustrated with that because i get that

456
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:28.720
a lot but there's no messages so i feel like i'm always having to

457
00:32:31.120 --> 00:32:34.880
yes yay yes and so sure

458
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:46.000
yeah and and then even today i got this like and the guy has his back to me you know i mean he has

459
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:52.080
his back on there and it's like it's like there's a picture of his back yeah well he's like at a

460
00:32:52.080 --> 00:32:57.200
basketball game and then he has four pictures like he's you know coaching or something like

461
00:32:57.200 --> 00:33:05.120
that but i'm like nothing in the face no and so i got frustrated today and i i just said

462
00:33:05.120 --> 00:33:10.400
why would you send me a picture of your back and there's nothing in your profile and

463
00:33:12.320 --> 00:33:19.040
and so love it it's back and he says well would it make a difference and i said well

464
00:33:19.040 --> 00:33:23.920
i turned it around and i asked him the question would you want me to talk to your back

465
00:33:24.800 --> 00:33:32.480
and then he didn't answer and he said well i don't want to waste your time but i'm getting

466
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:40.080
a lot of likes and and you know friends but they don't say anything and it's like today i was like

467
00:33:40.080 --> 00:33:45.200
i went through all of them that were still there and i just started asking them the question you

468
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:50.560
know why why why are you sending me these likes but you're not saying anything okay

469
00:33:51.040 --> 00:33:59.040
get it guys he sent me his phone number but he was like saying the same thing i'm frustrated

470
00:33:59.040 --> 00:34:04.960
because i don't think these women on here are real and then sometimes i i feel like

471
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:13.440
all right are these people real because when i and that like four four of the men disappeared

472
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:19.679
right away so i'm wondering if that's facebook too well i mean it can be a number of things

473
00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:28.800
so um yes you're gonna get you're gonna get bots at times i do think facebook has gotten better

474
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:36.960
with that you're you're gonna get you're gonna get scammers all right um i i do want to emphasize

475
00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:41.920
ladies if you're getting friend requests don't accept their friend request they're strangers

476
00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:48.400
still don't allow them access to your personal social media right that's super important okay

477
00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:54.960
um i mean that's i think we even teach that in the online dating video it's been a hot minute

478
00:34:54.960 --> 00:34:59.760
since i've watched that i mean i watched it several times but i think we really do talk about

479
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.040
online safety, and that is important.

480
00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:07.220
Now, what I would coach as far as you getting likes,

481
00:35:09.740 --> 00:35:11.800
I would encourage, kind of like what you're doing,

482
00:35:11.800 --> 00:35:13.080
you're like, okay, they like me,

483
00:35:13.080 --> 00:35:15.440
but then you're like, why are you liking me

484
00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:17.640
and not sending me a message?

485
00:35:17.640 --> 00:35:22.640
I'm gonna encourage you, let's not interrogate them

486
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:27.880
with that, and I get it, it's so annoying, y'all,

487
00:35:28.200 --> 00:35:30.720
but remember, some of these men

488
00:35:30.720 --> 00:35:32.760
are also experiencing the same thing,

489
00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:35.560
and so the women and the men,

490
00:35:35.560 --> 00:35:37.120
we're all just trying to navigate

491
00:35:37.120 --> 00:35:38.880
this whole online dating thing,

492
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:43.300
especially if y'all are like my age and older,

493
00:35:43.300 --> 00:35:47.640
like online dating was not how you dated,

494
00:35:47.640 --> 00:35:50.400
like it wasn't, like y'all, I'm 42,

495
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:55.400
and it really didn't start until like my late 20s,

496
00:35:58.040 --> 00:36:00.600
is when online dating became a thing,

497
00:36:00.600 --> 00:36:05.600
like it's weird, but what I will say is,

498
00:36:06.600 --> 00:36:10.200
you pull people that are married

499
00:36:10.200 --> 00:36:12.280
and you pull how they met,

500
00:36:12.280 --> 00:36:15.400
you get a high percentage now people are meeting online,

501
00:36:16.720 --> 00:36:18.400
but we're all still trying to navigate it,

502
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:22.440
and so I think having the grace for understanding

503
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:23.760
that some men are gonna like you

504
00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:27.560
and they might feel intimidated or reach out to you,

505
00:36:27.560 --> 00:36:30.280
they might be trying to drop the hanky with a like,

506
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:31.760
and they want you to reach out

507
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:34.680
and show them that, okay, you're dropping the hanky,

508
00:36:34.680 --> 00:36:36.680
I like you, I wanna get to know you better,

509
00:36:36.680 --> 00:36:39.040
so instead just, if you look at their profile

510
00:36:39.040 --> 00:36:41.040
and they like you and you look at their profile

511
00:36:41.040 --> 00:36:45.280
and you're like, okay, I wanna get to know him a little bit,

512
00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:47.320
I wanna just see what he's about,

513
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:50.160
I wanna see if he's a friendly guy,

514
00:36:50.160 --> 00:36:52.000
find something on his profile,

515
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:53.880
if you can, if he shared anything,

516
00:36:53.880 --> 00:36:55.520
and ask him a question about it.

517
00:36:55.520 --> 00:36:57.000
What I did, I did that,

518
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:00.120
this is the first time I frustrated with this.

519
00:37:00.120 --> 00:37:04.320
Okay, I get it, okay, when you've done that,

520
00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:06.400
now you've released it,

521
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:10.560
now God has an opportunity to protect you,

522
00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:15.240
and if guys are ghosting you or not responding to you,

523
00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:19.960
I want you to start practicing this mindset is,

524
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:21.200
I'm God defended,

525
00:37:22.200 --> 00:37:24.800
and he's keeping me from something

526
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:26.480
that he doesn't want for me.

527
00:37:27.720 --> 00:37:29.880
So when those guys, like that guy,

528
00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:34.280
like, dude, you putting pictures up of your back

529
00:37:34.280 --> 00:37:35.840
and can't show your face,

530
00:37:36.920 --> 00:37:39.600
and like, I'm not talking, like you said,

531
00:37:39.600 --> 00:37:41.520
I'm not talking, do you wanna talk to my back?

532
00:37:41.520 --> 00:37:45.880
No, like, I wanna know who I'm talking to

533
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:49.400
as a form of respect, like we make eye contact with people

534
00:37:49.560 --> 00:37:50.840
when we're respectful

535
00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:53.600
and having communication with them, right?

536
00:37:53.600 --> 00:37:56.640
So I get it, and if he's just like,

537
00:37:56.640 --> 00:38:00.800
I don't wanna waste your time, thank you, boy, bye,

538
00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:04.160
I don't need to get offended by it.

539
00:38:04.160 --> 00:38:07.040
If you're not gonna respect me

540
00:38:07.040 --> 00:38:09.240
and have some eye contact with me

541
00:38:09.240 --> 00:38:13.600
and honor like what we're all here for,

542
00:38:13.600 --> 00:38:15.920
then if you have ill intentions,

543
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:18.040
I don't want to be a part of it anyway.

544
00:38:19.040 --> 00:38:23.200
And so, you know, what I will ask,

545
00:38:23.200 --> 00:38:26.280
if you find that you're constantly getting this frustration,

546
00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:30.800
I want you, and ladies, I coach this almost every week,

547
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:35.600
we have to get to what is it that we're believing?

548
00:38:35.600 --> 00:38:39.960
Is there a lie or a fear or an anxious thought

549
00:38:39.960 --> 00:38:44.640
that's come into our mind that's showing some repetition

550
00:38:44.640 --> 00:38:45.920
that God's kind of been like,

551
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:47.600
hey, I'm gonna highlight this to you

552
00:38:48.120 --> 00:38:49.520
because I'm gonna heal this.

553
00:38:51.200 --> 00:38:55.560
So is there anything that when this is happening,

554
00:38:55.560 --> 00:38:58.840
what is your core thought

555
00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:05.040
with men not showing any interest

556
00:39:05.040 --> 00:39:06.320
and wanting to engage with you?

557
00:39:06.320 --> 00:39:11.040
Is there anything that's coming up that you're believing?

558
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:13.840
I'm just thinking why?

559
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:18.840
Why is it that guys are not communicating?

560
00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:24.360
They're just sending likes and then a lot of them-

561
00:39:24.400 --> 00:39:26.400
What's that making you believe about men?

562
00:39:29.080 --> 00:39:31.280
I don't know if I've even thought about that.

563
00:39:32.200 --> 00:39:33.880
I really want to encourage you ladies,

564
00:39:33.880 --> 00:39:36.120
like when that stuff is like,

565
00:39:36.120 --> 00:39:39.480
like, I don't know if I've even thought about that.

566
00:39:40.240 --> 00:39:43.360
Like, that's a valid question.

567
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.400
Why are these guys liking me and nothing's happening?

568
00:39:48.240 --> 00:39:51.520
Let's go take those questions to God in our prayer time.

569
00:39:51.520 --> 00:39:55.360
Let's spend time meditating and sit still

570
00:39:56.320 --> 00:39:57.840
and let's be writing like,

571
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:00.040
okay, Lord, I need you to reveal to me.

572
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.700
me, why is this happening? And see what comes up. See what questions come up. You know,

573
00:40:08.700 --> 00:40:12.140
one thing that I do sometimes, especially when I'm frustrated and I'm in my head and

574
00:40:12.140 --> 00:40:19.900
I'm angry or whatever, I write it all out. I get it all out on paper. And once it's out,

575
00:40:19.900 --> 00:40:24.240
then it's surprising, like I'll be writing and all of a sudden God is giving me words

576
00:40:24.240 --> 00:40:32.120
of comfort and wisdom and things to focus on that I'm like, Oh, I didn't even realize

577
00:40:32.120 --> 00:40:38.360
like that was what was happening. And so spend time with that. Like, so if that's happening,

578
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:43.440
but I want to encourage you, like, you're not alone. Guys will like, and then some of

579
00:40:43.440 --> 00:40:48.040
them are bots because they want you engaged in that, you know, not like Facebook, especially

580
00:40:48.040 --> 00:40:56.000
maybe not even Facebook dating, but the online sites that you might pay for, they want you

581
00:40:56.000 --> 00:41:01.760
to continue to keep coming back. So sometimes I do think that's part of a strategy. I don't

582
00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:07.280
know. I mean, I'm not an expert in the online dating, like the technical stuff that they

583
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:12.160
do behind the scenes stuff, right? Because remember like me and Lori, we're not, we're

584
00:41:12.160 --> 00:41:18.360
not techie. I have no idea what they're doing behind the scenes, but you know, it's, it's

585
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:22.600
not uncommon that guys are going to like you and then they're not going to do anything

586
00:41:22.600 --> 00:41:30.360
with it. Um, you know, if you feel prompted to send out a message, do it. And after you

587
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:38.280
do that, then release it. They might respond. They might not, if they do great. Um, if they

588
00:41:38.280 --> 00:41:43.040
try friend requesting you, you can say, Hey, I saw you friend requested me. I'm, I'm going

589
00:41:43.040 --> 00:41:46.240
to wait until we've gotten to know each other a little better before I accept your friend

590
00:41:46.240 --> 00:41:53.040
request. Um, would that be okay with you? Would you like to set up a video chat for

591
00:41:53.040 --> 00:41:58.080
us to get to know each other better if they're local? Hey, would you like to, um, go meet

592
00:41:58.080 --> 00:42:07.960
up for a hike or a walk or, you know, a smoothie, uh, whatever, you know, ice cream, like, do

593
00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:14.400
you want to get together, you know, and, and go from there? Okay. Does that help? That

594
00:42:14.400 --> 00:42:19.400
helps. Yeah. I'm rooting for you girl. And don't worry about sticking around. We're here

595
00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:26.680
for you. Okay. Thank you. You are welcome. Brittany. Hey girl, how are you? I'm doing

596
00:42:26.680 --> 00:42:34.120
great. I did my seventh date on Sunday. Uh, I felt like God was just teaching me so much.

597
00:42:34.120 --> 00:42:38.280
I love what you were saying about, um, valuing men because there's like two guys where it's

598
00:42:38.280 --> 00:42:41.600
like, I think I'm going to go on like probably one more date with them, but I already kind

599
00:42:41.600 --> 00:42:45.640
of feel in my spirit. I'm like, I don't know, not me, you know, for me, but I just felt

600
00:42:45.640 --> 00:42:50.200
like God just saying like, honor the process. Like it's honoring and respecting to both

601
00:42:50.200 --> 00:42:56.480
people. Like, even if you don't think it's like, this is it really for you honor it still.

602
00:42:56.480 --> 00:42:59.720
And like, I felt like he's teaching me to value the men and like how they show up for

603
00:42:59.720 --> 00:43:04.880
me, even if it's not for me. And I felt like he taught me so much too. Cause I've, he revealed

604
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:10.480
like a fear in me of, um, him giving me something that I don't want, like changing my heart

605
00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:14.360
for things that I don't desire. And he's like, and I just felt on that seventh date, like

606
00:43:14.360 --> 00:43:17.960
him really showing me that I, I don't force things on you that you don't want. That's

607
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:23.080
not who I am and how I work. And then, and then I learned how to value, like maybe this

608
00:43:23.080 --> 00:43:27.440
isn't for me, but I can still value and enjoy it and trust that he is going to give me something

609
00:43:27.440 --> 00:43:32.400
I want. And it was such a huge breakthrough. And then, um, I was going to make a post on

610
00:43:32.400 --> 00:43:36.760
that. I haven't gotten to yet, but my question is there's another guy, um, that we went on

611
00:43:36.760 --> 00:43:42.240
one day and it just felt so easy and natural to just like build a friendship with him.

612
00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:48.520
Like in conversation, like just all of the conversation felt easy and natural. And like

613
00:43:48.520 --> 00:43:52.180
I enjoy it. Like he's, I think one of the first guys that I could tell, like, I really

614
00:43:52.180 --> 00:43:57.000
enjoyed his company and found him interesting. And, but the thing is that he hasn't said

615
00:43:57.000 --> 00:44:01.720
anything about his faith. I mean, I've, I've mentioned kind of like, I'm in a inner healing

616
00:44:01.720 --> 00:44:06.200
program modality and got certified with it. And I was just kind of sharing him, like,

617
00:44:06.200 --> 00:44:09.600
you know, this is what I do with this and what I want to do with this. And he's interested

618
00:44:09.600 --> 00:44:13.560
in, you know, listening to it, but I haven't heard him mention anything about his faith,

619
00:44:13.560 --> 00:44:17.480
but I felt like on that first date, God was like really teaching me like, Oh, I, I can

620
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:22.240
just enjoy building friendships with guys. Um, but we're going to go on a second date

621
00:44:22.240 --> 00:44:27.280
this Friday. And so I was just curious, like, at what point should we start like asking

622
00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:32.040
those questions about faith? Like when is that kind of appropriate?

623
00:44:32.040 --> 00:44:40.960
This is good. Okay. I love this question and my heart filled response to this. And I know

624
00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:48.120
a lot of women do not like this. So I might even be a little hesitating to say it. Um,

625
00:44:48.120 --> 00:44:56.160
you have those questions when they prompt the conversation about exclusivity. Okay.

626
00:44:56.160 --> 00:44:59.080
If they haven't brought it up already.

627
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.660
Okay, but if they're if you're enjoying them and you're getting to know them and then you know, let's say

628
00:45:07.400 --> 00:45:09.400
one two months in

629
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:15.000
They're like, hey, I really like you. I really want us to like take this to the next stage

630
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.320
I want I want just to date you. I hope that you want that for me

631
00:45:19.960 --> 00:45:23.840
Then you get to respond like I've really enjoyed getting to know you. I

632
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:26.360
Enjoy your company

633
00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:30.200
Just your friendship is you know, maybe not even use the friendship word, okay

634
00:45:30.200 --> 00:45:37.120
I always try to like warn but just caution women to you throw it because some men have complexes about being friend-zoned

635
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:39.440
But just say I really have gotten

636
00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:44.960
Enjoyed getting to know you share the things that you really like about them and just say one of the things

637
00:45:45.320 --> 00:45:49.440
for me to feel comfortable and stepping into an exclusive relationship with somebody is

638
00:45:51.180 --> 00:45:55.440
Where they're at with their relationship with Jesus I am in

639
00:45:56.360 --> 00:46:02.920
Now I am looking for a relationship that's going to lead to a kingdom marriage minded

640
00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:05.480
merit like marriage and

641
00:46:06.440 --> 00:46:09.840
That's not negotiable for me. It doesn't mean

642
00:46:10.480 --> 00:46:14.120
They have to be where you're at. They did that or

643
00:46:14.840 --> 00:46:16.840
Let me let me rephrase that

644
00:46:17.200 --> 00:46:20.520
They don't need to have been on the same walk as you

645
00:46:21.480 --> 00:46:26.400
They have to have a desire and hunger to go in the direction that you are going

646
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:28.960
Mmm, that makes sense

647
00:46:28.960 --> 00:46:35.520
That's really good. And that like you don't really see that until you really feel safe with someone and you know that I enjoy this

648
00:46:35.520 --> 00:46:39.480
And yeah, so and I will say that ladies and I know a lot of women

649
00:46:40.400 --> 00:46:47.600
You know, I'm gonna be real with y'all. Okay, and and just I've been I've been coaching now in this phase for over a year and a

650
00:46:47.600 --> 00:46:49.600
half and

651
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:52.120
Obviously been in this program for almost five years

652
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:56.400
When and

653
00:46:56.400 --> 00:47:01.680
I and I I fell trap to this too. Okay, and so I've done it. I've seen women do it

654
00:47:02.200 --> 00:47:05.760
We are so hungry for a godly marriage

655
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:08.400
that when we meet someone and

656
00:47:10.720 --> 00:47:18.120
They show us oh, yeah, I go to church I do this let's pray together. Let's do all these things

657
00:47:19.000 --> 00:47:20.520
We start

658
00:47:20.520 --> 00:47:22.520
Fantasizing and believing. Oh

659
00:47:23.200 --> 00:47:27.720
This is it. This is the guy got it. God has brought this man to me

660
00:47:30.720 --> 00:47:32.720
It's a facade

661
00:47:33.240 --> 00:47:35.480
Like that happened to me

662
00:47:37.160 --> 00:47:39.160
With my son's father

663
00:47:40.280 --> 00:47:42.280
And then I got pregnant and

664
00:47:43.760 --> 00:47:46.560
It was very clear he was not a man after God

665
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:54.880
He drew me away from God not towards God and so I really want to encourage you ladies

666
00:47:54.880 --> 00:47:58.520
I know this is hard because we are so

667
00:47:59.720 --> 00:48:02.080
found a like Christ is our foundation and

668
00:48:02.600 --> 00:48:08.200
We want someone to honor and respect and be on that same page with us

669
00:48:09.160 --> 00:48:12.960
but sometimes we jump-start that too soon and

670
00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:15.800
then we get blinded by it and

671
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:18.880
We start I always call it it's like a

672
00:48:19.600 --> 00:48:21.600
It's a false intimacy

673
00:48:21.640 --> 00:48:23.440
when we share a

674
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:26.800
spiritual intimacies with someone too soon, it's

675
00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:29.440
it can bond us and

676
00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:31.960
can confuse us and

677
00:48:32.480 --> 00:48:36.480
To get us and gets us in our blind spots, then we can't see it

678
00:48:36.480 --> 00:48:39.200
Like there were so many red flags with my son's dad

679
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:45.040
But I believed he was the guy that got sent for me and he he went to church

680
00:48:45.120 --> 00:48:52.160
he wanted to go to church with me and he wanted to pray with me and I didn't know really know this guy and

681
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:54.880
so that like

682
00:48:55.200 --> 00:49:02.640
Yes, Laurie see the fruit first spend time getting to know them. See how they show up. Do they have the fruits of the spirit?

683
00:49:04.520 --> 00:49:11.280
When you're when they're out in community or they're with their friends like are they patient are they kind are they loving do they have

684
00:49:11.520 --> 00:49:13.520
Self-control are they gentle?

685
00:49:15.040 --> 00:49:17.040
Like how do they show up?

686
00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:19.280
What's their heart posture?

687
00:49:20.840 --> 00:49:27.360
Mean people can have there there are men like there are men and women out there that can preach a good word on

688
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.000
the Sunday and

689
00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:32.760
They're not a good spouse

690
00:49:36.240 --> 00:49:38.560
Like we want to see their heart

691
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:42.640
Religion

692
00:49:42.640 --> 00:49:44.640
Can get yucky

693
00:49:45.040 --> 00:49:47.040
It can get misguided

694
00:49:47.840 --> 00:49:50.960
And so it's so important like let's get to know the person

695
00:49:52.400 --> 00:49:54.400
And let's not jumpstart that so

696
00:49:54.640 --> 00:49:59.920
Again, I know it's not what y'all like to hear. I encourage that if they

697
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.640
do not bring it up you can bring it up when they're asking to be in a

698
00:50:05.640 --> 00:50:10.720
relationship with you exclusively like exclusively and then you can share this

699
00:50:10.720 --> 00:50:16.880
is a non-negotiable I need to be in a relationship with someone that wants to

700
00:50:16.880 --> 00:50:22.520
get married in the future but most importantly is going after God's heart

701
00:50:22.520 --> 00:50:29.000
and so we're not gonna judge where they've been we're gonna hopefully have

702
00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:35.080
seen through time how they show up and are they teachable do they want a

703
00:50:35.080 --> 00:50:40.120
relationship with God doesn't mean that we're we're not ministry dating we're

704
00:50:40.120 --> 00:50:45.280
not going and dating and ministering to men to get them to come along our side

705
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:50.000
so that they can be our partner no it's got to be a heart transformation for

706
00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:55.960
them as well does that help does that make sense

707
00:50:55.960 --> 00:51:00.680
my stir in some pots for people

708
00:51:02.640 --> 00:51:09.960
doing it as lovingly as I can but I'm glad this is helping I'm so so glad um

709
00:51:09.960 --> 00:51:13.960
that's a really good question though and I am really thankful that you asked it

710
00:51:13.960 --> 00:51:18.400
and I love that God is confirming to you to value the men and honoring the

711
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:24.040
process and and I love that you even shared like the the fear that God's not

712
00:51:24.040 --> 00:51:28.080
gonna give you something that you don't want like that just I felt Holy Spirit

713
00:51:28.080 --> 00:51:34.040
on that you know God is a gentleman he is he is a perfect gentleman he's not

714
00:51:34.040 --> 00:51:39.040
gonna force his will on us he's not gonna force us to take something that

715
00:51:39.040 --> 00:51:46.880
you know we don't like you know in a way that you know we're just no I don't want

716
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:52.640
this I don't want this he's not gonna force us to take it and he's good he's a

717
00:51:52.640 --> 00:51:55.040
good God

718
00:51:56.920 --> 00:52:04.720
courage ladies you are welcome Marley hey girl

719
00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:14.480
hi okay um so two things and one resembles a bit what Brittany just

720
00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:25.520
shared so I went on a first date in-person date with a guy this week and

721
00:52:25.520 --> 00:52:34.080
like right away I was like oh there are no sparks you know and during the

722
00:52:34.080 --> 00:52:43.960
conversation he was very very gentleman like very very kind so we were talking

723
00:52:43.960 --> 00:52:48.240
but I guess it was he was probably nervous at the beginning because he was

724
00:52:48.240 --> 00:52:52.920
just bombarding me with questions and I was thinking oh I feel like I could get

725
00:52:52.920 --> 00:53:02.080
out of there very fast but I stayed and of course I stayed and and it developed

726
00:53:02.080 --> 00:53:08.160
into a very nice conversation and we went for a walk after and he showed me

727
00:53:08.320 --> 00:53:14.680
art in the city different spots where he knew that they were pieces of art and

728
00:53:14.680 --> 00:53:19.720
the history behind those so anyways to make a long story short at the end he

729
00:53:19.720 --> 00:53:27.120
said well I really liked our and I think he was surprised as well that he turned

730
00:53:27.120 --> 00:53:30.880
out to be that way he said well I enjoyed that and I would love to see you

731
00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:37.160
again and so we're seeing each other again on Thursday morning for another

732
00:53:37.160 --> 00:53:49.280
walk and but I that no sparks feeling is still there so again I don't want to

733
00:53:49.280 --> 00:53:58.880
give the impression that I'm giving him the false false false hopes or anything

734
00:53:58.880 --> 00:54:03.760
like that so that's if that's the first situation the second one is somebody

735
00:54:03.760 --> 00:54:11.960
that I had a video chat with that person is eight years younger I thought

736
00:54:11.960 --> 00:54:19.480
it was really really well lots of chats a lot lots of laughter lots of things in

737
00:54:19.480 --> 00:54:27.880
common and and we both concluded by saying we want to see each other again

738
00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:34.560
and then it was silence for I don't know how many days and when he went so

739
00:54:34.560 --> 00:54:45.640
I I reached out and when he when we he did respond he said it was no there was

740
00:54:45.640 --> 00:54:49.040
no way hello there was nothing it was just what's your phone number because

741
00:54:49.040 --> 00:54:56.480
the last time we we we spoke he gave me his number and we FaceTime so I called so

742
00:54:56.480 --> 00:55:01.720
he doesn't it doesn't look like he has my phone number

743
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.600
because I called through FaceTime.

744
00:55:02.600 --> 00:55:05.280
So he said, what's your phone number?

745
00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:07.460
And I was a bit frustrated by the response

746
00:55:07.460 --> 00:55:12.320
because after silence, the response was,

747
00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:13.440
what's your phone number?

748
00:55:13.440 --> 00:55:14.940
No hello or anything.

749
00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:17.200
So my response was, well, hello.

750
00:55:17.200 --> 00:55:21.440
And I still haven't heard back.

751
00:55:21.440 --> 00:55:26.440
And I feel like he's maybe playing games

752
00:55:26.480 --> 00:55:30.200
or he's just too busy or I don't know.

753
00:55:30.200 --> 00:55:31.040
I don't know what it is.

754
00:55:31.040 --> 00:55:31.880
I just don't know.

755
00:55:31.880 --> 00:55:32.700
Is he long distance?

756
00:55:32.700 --> 00:55:33.540
Is he local?

757
00:55:33.540 --> 00:55:34.880
No, we're in the same city.

758
00:55:34.880 --> 00:55:35.720
Okay.

759
00:55:38.280 --> 00:55:41.440
Again, I want him to kind of initiate a little more

760
00:55:42.840 --> 00:55:43.860
with a second.

761
00:55:45.240 --> 00:55:47.640
I do want you to spend time if this is,

762
00:55:47.640 --> 00:55:50.240
again, and I get it, like sometimes it is.

763
00:55:51.400 --> 00:55:54.200
The whole dating process can be frustrating for sure.

764
00:55:55.200 --> 00:55:58.320
If you find yourself in a pattern

765
00:55:58.320 --> 00:56:00.200
where you're recognizing this,

766
00:56:00.200 --> 00:56:02.840
where you're getting annoyed when men are not responding

767
00:56:02.840 --> 00:56:05.920
the way that you're hoping that they respond,

768
00:56:05.920 --> 00:56:09.120
then we're gonna wanna unpack that a little more, okay?

769
00:56:10.880 --> 00:56:11.720
But I get it.

770
00:56:11.720 --> 00:56:13.600
I mean, I would do the same thing.

771
00:56:13.600 --> 00:56:15.860
Like, dude, you can't like,

772
00:56:17.360 --> 00:56:19.960
and I'm a very forward, very blunt person.

773
00:56:19.960 --> 00:56:23.900
So I know like I handle things a little bit differently.

774
00:56:24.540 --> 00:56:29.540
And so if this type of situation happens again,

775
00:56:31.460 --> 00:56:36.020
I would encourage if you all communicate,

776
00:56:36.020 --> 00:56:37.500
let's do a second date,

777
00:56:40.820 --> 00:56:45.820
prompt them with, great, I would love to as well.

778
00:56:45.860 --> 00:56:48.420
Why don't you go ahead and reach out to me

779
00:56:48.420 --> 00:56:49.420
in the next day or two

780
00:56:49.420 --> 00:56:51.640
and let me know a time that works for you.

781
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:53.280
Okay.

782
00:56:53.280 --> 00:56:55.160
So now you've put it on them

783
00:56:55.160 --> 00:56:56.880
to actually have to give you a response.

784
00:56:56.880 --> 00:56:59.760
Now that is in their court, okay?

785
00:56:59.760 --> 00:57:03.200
Because what I will say is sometimes there's,

786
00:57:03.200 --> 00:57:04.020
I'll be honest,

787
00:57:04.020 --> 00:57:06.440
there were times I was going on first dates with people

788
00:57:06.440 --> 00:57:08.700
and I'd be like, they'd be like, yeah, this was great.

789
00:57:08.700 --> 00:57:09.540
Let's do it again.

790
00:57:09.540 --> 00:57:10.960
I'd be like, yeah, let's do it again.

791
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:12.520
And I didn't wanna do it again.

792
00:57:14.320 --> 00:57:16.280
You know, I had to learn to not do that.

793
00:57:16.280 --> 00:57:18.240
I had to learn to be like, if I didn't wanna do it,

794
00:57:18.240 --> 00:57:20.800
I had to be clear and kind.

795
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:26.400
You know, thank you for spending time with me today.

796
00:57:26.400 --> 00:57:30.920
I'm not sure a second date is something that I'm feeling,

797
00:57:30.920 --> 00:57:32.000
but thank you for your time.

798
00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:33.480
I really appreciate it.

799
00:57:33.480 --> 00:57:35.800
And you can go on your way, okay?

800
00:57:35.800 --> 00:57:39.960
So I think sometimes men have experienced that

801
00:57:39.960 --> 00:57:43.840
and we just don't know what's going on in their head really.

802
00:57:45.200 --> 00:57:48.520
So maybe he was hoping that you were gonna reach out.

803
00:57:48.560 --> 00:57:52.360
And so, and maybe he was busy and he was like,

804
00:57:52.360 --> 00:57:53.760
oh yeah, what's your number?

805
00:57:55.300 --> 00:57:57.560
You know, maybe he needs an area of working

806
00:57:57.560 --> 00:58:02.000
on how to communicate better and be soft in his responses.

807
00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:03.640
And what I will say is when we're doing things

808
00:58:03.640 --> 00:58:07.000
through text message, you cannot see people's face.

809
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:09.320
You cannot hear people's tone.

810
00:58:09.320 --> 00:58:14.320
And we can miss read texts and messages all day long.

811
00:58:14.560 --> 00:58:15.640
Yeah, for sure.

812
00:58:15.640 --> 00:58:20.640
And so I'd like to see him, you know, initiate.

813
00:58:22.760 --> 00:58:25.100
You might possibly say, hey, look,

814
00:58:27.920 --> 00:58:31.520
I apologize if I came off short.

815
00:58:31.520 --> 00:58:34.600
I thought we were on board with getting another video chat.

816
00:58:34.600 --> 00:58:37.920
I really enjoyed our first time doing.

817
00:58:39.960 --> 00:58:41.520
Are you still open for that?

818
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:43.180
If not, let me know.

819
00:58:44.180 --> 00:58:47.140
If you are, what days work for you?

820
00:58:47.140 --> 00:58:48.060
Okay, thank you.

821
00:58:48.060 --> 00:58:51.220
And if he gives you yes, whatever, be like,

822
00:58:51.220 --> 00:58:55.020
and here's my number by the way, right?

823
00:58:55.020 --> 00:58:57.140
I find it funny that he doesn't have your number

824
00:58:57.140 --> 00:58:58.980
if you called him from your number.

825
00:58:58.980 --> 00:59:01.620
It was, well, it was through FaceTime.

826
00:59:01.620 --> 00:59:05.100
So I called from my laptop and it was,

827
00:59:05.100 --> 00:59:09.180
I think it was his first time using FaceTime

828
00:59:09.180 --> 00:59:10.020
because he was-

829
00:59:10.020 --> 00:59:10.980
Okay, so that makes sense.

830
00:59:10.980 --> 00:59:13.020
So maybe he just doesn't really get it.

831
00:59:13.980 --> 00:59:16.180
You know, which is totally fine.

832
00:59:16.180 --> 00:59:18.660
I do want to touch a little bit on the sparks.

833
00:59:20.140 --> 00:59:22.700
I know I talked about this several weeks ago.

834
00:59:22.700 --> 00:59:25.140
I wish I remember which day,

835
00:59:25.140 --> 00:59:28.100
cause I would probably direct you on to that,

836
00:59:28.100 --> 00:59:30.460
to watch that replay if you hadn't already.

837
00:59:32.540 --> 00:59:35.740
Okay, I know Jackie has shared on this.

838
00:59:35.740 --> 00:59:37.180
And a lot of times ladies,

839
00:59:37.180 --> 00:59:41.940
like I have listened to Jackie for five years.

840
00:59:41.940 --> 00:59:43.900
So a lot of the things that she teaches

841
00:59:43.900 --> 00:59:45.460
and she teaches over and over again,

842
00:59:45.460 --> 00:59:47.180
like it is in my head.

843
00:59:48.620 --> 00:59:53.620
And so she will communicate with you ladies

844
00:59:54.260 --> 00:59:59.260
that sometimes those sparks are actually not ideal.

845
00:59:59.780 --> 01:00:00.620
Yeah.

846
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.240
so we really have to kind of separate this sparks and maybe we need more of a

847
01:00:07.240 --> 01:00:12.320
definition because maybe everybody considers sparks differently is that the

848
01:00:12.320 --> 01:00:17.280
sparks where it's the fireworks that oh I really want to get to know this person

849
01:00:17.280 --> 01:00:24.500
this you know I want to be romantic with them because again we'll coach the level

850
01:00:24.500 --> 01:00:31.580
to you ladies really need a refrain from the romantic connection and I know a lot

851
01:00:31.580 --> 01:00:38.500
of you don't like that but I will say in those early stages of level two I mean

852
01:00:38.500 --> 01:00:43.540
I'm talking dates two and three okay by two and three you really don't want the

853
01:00:43.540 --> 01:00:48.420
romantic connection by the third date that's when it's good to sit there and

854
01:00:48.500 --> 01:00:55.620
okay it's a yes until it's a no but if you really are feeling like I am not

855
01:00:55.620 --> 01:01:03.780
really drawn to consider a romantic relationship with this person then it's

856
01:01:03.780 --> 01:01:11.380
understandable okay I remember I had that happen I had a really great guy

857
01:01:11.380 --> 01:01:16.540
that I dated and we had three dates he wanted more and I kept saying I'm not

858
01:01:16.700 --> 01:01:21.140
I'm not there yet I want to just continue to get to know you and he was

859
01:01:21.140 --> 01:01:26.020
he was excited about it like I'm not trying to toot my own horn but he's like

860
01:01:26.020 --> 01:01:30.500
you're the most beautiful girl I've ever dated I'm like okay thank you I

861
01:01:30.500 --> 01:01:34.660
appreciate it's flattering but it's more than just the physical attraction like I

862
01:01:34.660 --> 01:01:38.740
really do want to get to know you I want to see where like if we're on the same

863
01:01:38.740 --> 01:01:45.980
page and I couldn't get there and I remember Jackie after a third date she's

864
01:01:45.980 --> 01:01:52.220
like do you have like do you think at some point when you get married you're

865
01:01:52.220 --> 01:02:01.980
gonna want to be physically intimate with this person and I was like no but I

866
01:02:01.980 --> 01:02:05.420
didn't make that decision until after three dates

867
01:02:05.420 --> 01:02:10.820
you can't you know after one date though I wasn't sure I was like okay it's not

868
01:02:10.820 --> 01:02:15.060
there but there were things I liked about him there were things that I

869
01:02:15.060 --> 01:02:20.100
appreciated and here's the thing ladies and I say this I preach this all the

870
01:02:20.100 --> 01:02:27.180
time God is going to use all of your dating situations as opportunities for

871
01:02:27.180 --> 01:02:38.700
you to grow and upgrade he wants to reveal things to you I dated a number of

872
01:02:38.700 --> 01:02:45.700
guys some of them annoyed annoying me some of them were repulsive some of them

873
01:02:45.700 --> 01:02:53.540
were nerdy some of them were not believers some of them were overly

874
01:02:53.540 --> 01:03:05.620
religious some of them were in this community a lot of them were not but God

875
01:03:05.620 --> 01:03:14.780
began to show me areas that I needed to heal in through every single one I I was

876
01:03:14.780 --> 01:03:26.060
able to process and and really consider how I was showing up like God how can

877
01:03:26.060 --> 01:03:32.700
you use this person to show me something that I didn't know before mm-hmm to

878
01:03:32.700 --> 01:03:38.580
prepare me for what you do have for me ladies like for me it was a timing thing

879
01:03:38.580 --> 01:03:49.500
it had to be on God's time not mine my husband had to be ready I felt like I

880
01:03:49.500 --> 01:03:53.900
was ready bring him and I was gonna make it like I was even at a point like I

881
01:03:53.900 --> 01:03:58.820
will make the wrong guy the right guy cuz I was tired tired of waiting and I

882
01:03:58.820 --> 01:04:06.500
don't want you ladies doing that okay I want you be willing to allow God to use

883
01:04:06.500 --> 01:04:14.540
this dating process to grow you and that's why we say it's a yes until it's

884
01:04:14.540 --> 01:04:22.780
a no some of the best growth that I got were from being open to guys that I

885
01:04:22.780 --> 01:04:31.740
might not have ever thought I'd want to get to know God used a lot of really

886
01:04:31.740 --> 01:04:37.940
great men too like I love that we're doing this challenge of valuing men

887
01:04:37.940 --> 01:04:44.180
because that was super important I had to to recognize that God had really

888
01:04:44.180 --> 01:04:50.980
great men out there I believe it so you show me a lot of really great men a lot

889
01:04:50.980 --> 01:04:57.860
of great men that weren't my husband cuz he's like every single one of these

890
01:04:57.860 --> 01:05:01.780
men I created them for somebody else

891
01:05:00.960 --> 01:05:04.560
I created them for marriage, regardless if it's you or not.

892
01:05:07.840 --> 01:05:12.080
And I'm like, wow. So, and I, and I do want to also address,

893
01:05:12.080 --> 01:05:16.240
cause I know this comes up as well. This, I don't want to lead a man on ladies.

894
01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:22.160
The only way you're going to lead a man on is if you're kind of flaunting it out there,

895
01:05:22.160 --> 01:05:27.360
like, and giving them this false hope, like I am more into you than I am.

896
01:05:27.360 --> 01:05:30.800
And you're going to get something from me later down the road.

897
01:05:30.800 --> 01:05:35.440
That's manipulation leading people on is manipulation. So

898
01:05:37.840 --> 01:05:42.480
90% of the time when you ladies come with the, with the concern,

899
01:05:42.480 --> 01:05:46.320
I don't want to lead this guy on. It's not coming from a place of

900
01:05:46.320 --> 01:05:50.080
malice or manipulation. It's coming from a sincere place.

901
01:05:50.080 --> 01:05:54.160
And if it's coming from a sincere place, I can tell you, you ladies aren't leading these men on.

902
01:05:54.720 --> 01:05:58.080
You're getting to know them. That's, you're promising to get to know them.

903
01:05:58.080 --> 01:06:02.800
You're promising to go on and to date, to be open to getting to know who they are.

904
01:06:05.280 --> 01:06:14.160
You're not promising them a relationship down the road. I want to get to know you better.

905
01:06:15.760 --> 01:06:20.320
And if there's a time when I decide, I don't think this is going to move forward.

906
01:06:20.400 --> 01:06:25.360
After a few dates and you, it's again, it's a yes until it's no, then you can say, look,

907
01:06:25.360 --> 01:06:33.760
I appreciate you. I really enjoyed this. I do not see this leading to a romantic relationship.

908
01:06:35.040 --> 01:06:41.360
I wish you the best of luck. You're being clear and you're being kind about it.

909
01:06:43.360 --> 01:06:46.320
And some men are going to appreciate that you did that.

910
01:06:46.320 --> 01:06:51.760
And some men are going to appreciate that you did that because they are good men and great.

911
01:06:52.400 --> 01:06:55.200
They have a really good woman out there for them that God has for them.

912
01:06:55.920 --> 01:06:59.360
And you still have a really great man out there that God has for you, for your husband.

913
01:07:00.320 --> 01:07:05.680
Now, some of the men might not receive it. Well, that's going to show you a lot.

914
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:12.800
That's just going to validate. Thank you, God. Thank you for showing me that, that

915
01:07:12.800 --> 01:07:17.280
and confirming that person's not for me and you can bless them and you can block them.

916
01:07:18.480 --> 01:07:22.800
You don't have to preach to them. You don't need to tell them what they did or need to do better.

917
01:07:24.240 --> 01:07:29.600
You just be like, again, thank you for your time. I wish you the best block.

918
01:07:31.520 --> 01:07:38.000
Okay. I hope, I hope you ladies are getting some good, valuable wisdom through this.

919
01:07:38.720 --> 01:07:42.160
These are all amazing questions. I love it. I absolutely love it.

920
01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:48.240
Stephanie Davis, girl, I haven't seen you. What's happened in your world?

921
01:07:49.120 --> 01:07:52.000
Hi, my hair looks bad, so I can't come in here.

922
01:07:52.960 --> 01:07:53.520
I love you.

923
01:07:53.520 --> 01:07:54.800
I look like Don Kidd.

924
01:07:58.320 --> 01:07:58.800
What's up?

925
01:08:01.120 --> 01:08:05.920
Yeah. So I've been talking to this guy from Ohio

926
01:08:06.400 --> 01:08:12.720
and it was a great conversation. I know we said that after a couple of days, we should ask

927
01:08:12.720 --> 01:08:20.319
to either have a video call or a phone call. And today's my fourth time asking

928
01:08:21.439 --> 01:08:26.800
and he has not responded. I explained to him, I tell him why I said, Hey,

929
01:08:26.800 --> 01:08:31.359
you know, I just want to make sure that, you know, we are, both of us are a real person.

930
01:08:31.359 --> 01:08:39.200
So, you know, we can either hop on a Zoom or we can hop on a phone call either. And he's still

931
01:08:40.399 --> 01:08:46.800
not, I've not responded. And I want to be nice. I don't want to, I don't want to be rude,

932
01:08:47.840 --> 01:08:54.800
but I don't think, you know, I should be asking you again. And I think I should just tell him,

933
01:08:54.800 --> 01:09:00.640
I just think, you know, based on, based on this, I don't think we should continue the conversation.

934
01:09:01.600 --> 01:09:04.080
Do you want me to give you some words like to use?

935
01:09:04.080 --> 01:09:05.600
Well, I can handle that part.

936
01:09:05.600 --> 01:09:12.319
Okay. Yeah. I, I, I agree with you. I, you shouldn't have to ask four times for a video call

937
01:09:13.520 --> 01:09:15.520
that, that sends up a lot of red flags for me.

938
01:09:16.479 --> 01:09:17.120
Okay. Great.

939
01:09:17.120 --> 01:09:20.560
He's not willing to get on a video call. I'm going to now I'm starting to wonder,

940
01:09:20.560 --> 01:09:22.000
is he, who he says? Yes.

941
01:09:22.000 --> 01:09:26.160
Yeah. That's just, that's the same thing I said. And the conversation is so, I mean,

942
01:09:27.120 --> 01:09:30.960
it's a great conversation. I've never met a guy, you know, talk about the Lord,

943
01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:36.880
all that stuff. And I'm like, Oh my God, even though we're so far apart, it yeah.

944
01:09:36.880 --> 01:09:42.399
So that's the thing, ladies. And if, again, I'm not going to assume he is a scammer,

945
01:09:43.279 --> 01:09:47.520
but if he is, or if you find yourself with this and again, I'm not, I,

946
01:09:49.120 --> 01:09:53.520
I don't want what I'm going to share with you ladies to freak any of you out. Okay.

947
01:09:53.600 --> 01:09:56.960
So we, again, we got to remember the wisdom comes with balance.

948
01:09:59.040 --> 01:09:59.840
If someone is

949
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.240
going to scam you, they are going to be very smooth with their words.

950
01:10:06.240 --> 01:10:16.280
That's why I love the video calls because they can't hide who they are on a video.

951
01:10:16.280 --> 01:10:19.160
I wouldn't even encourage the phone call.

952
01:10:19.160 --> 01:10:23.120
I want to see you in person.

953
01:10:23.120 --> 01:10:25.240
I want to see you face to face.

954
01:10:25.240 --> 01:10:26.240
I get it.

955
01:10:26.240 --> 01:10:28.000
We're long distance.

956
01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:38.160
But yeah, I don't, I don't like, four times I've having just to ask, no, I mean, ladies,

957
01:10:38.160 --> 01:10:42.000
you are here to date in real life.

958
01:10:42.000 --> 01:10:43.560
You have to date in real life.

959
01:10:43.560 --> 01:10:48.200
If you're going to want to marry somebody, marriage is real life.

960
01:10:48.200 --> 01:10:51.280
You're not here to have pen pals.

961
01:10:51.280 --> 01:10:52.280
You're here to date.

962
01:10:52.280 --> 01:10:57.560
This is your season for dating.

963
01:10:57.560 --> 01:11:00.560
And then you're going to get to a marriage.

964
01:11:00.560 --> 01:11:05.160
You're not, you're not pen pals, we're not doing that.

965
01:11:05.160 --> 01:11:13.200
So I think you will have wonderful words that will be very kind and clear.

966
01:11:13.200 --> 01:11:16.200
This is not going to move forward.

967
01:11:16.200 --> 01:11:17.800
I'm going to use Carla words.

968
01:11:17.800 --> 01:11:18.800
Carla words.

969
01:11:18.800 --> 01:11:22.000
I know my voice is in your head girl.

970
01:11:22.720 --> 01:11:25.760
Well, I want to say this before, before I get off.

971
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:30.240
So it's, you know, when the time comes and I message you, you will know I'm coming to

972
01:11:30.240 --> 01:11:32.000
my borrowed is your earrings.

973
01:11:32.000 --> 01:11:36.280
If you wore, I tell you, I have those.

974
01:11:36.280 --> 01:11:37.960
And that has been on my heart for you.

975
01:11:37.960 --> 01:11:38.960
Okay.

976
01:11:38.960 --> 01:11:39.960
So that's going to be my bar.

977
01:11:39.960 --> 01:11:40.960
Okay.

978
01:11:40.960 --> 01:11:42.560
There, there will be your something borrowed.

979
01:11:42.560 --> 01:11:43.560
Okay.

980
01:11:43.560 --> 01:11:44.560
And I said it back after.

981
01:11:44.560 --> 01:11:45.560
Okay.

982
01:11:45.560 --> 01:11:46.560
All right.

983
01:11:46.560 --> 01:11:47.560
Okay.

984
01:11:47.560 --> 01:11:48.560
Bye.

985
01:11:48.560 --> 01:11:49.560
Bye honey.

986
01:11:49.560 --> 01:11:50.560
All right.

987
01:11:50.560 --> 01:11:51.560
Lori.

988
01:11:52.120 --> 01:11:54.120
So glad you're here.

989
01:11:54.120 --> 01:11:55.120
Thank you.

990
01:11:55.120 --> 01:12:06.920
So, um, I, before first year single, um, I had been on several dating, dating apps, um,

991
01:12:06.920 --> 01:12:12.080
and a couple of Chris supposedly Christian ones, and actually the Christian ones were

992
01:12:12.080 --> 01:12:13.080
the worst.

993
01:12:13.080 --> 01:12:19.720
Like I got scammed, tried to, I mean, people tried to scam me so many times, like, and

994
01:12:19.720 --> 01:12:27.720
bullying and put, like, if you don't come on this, what's up, we're over and like, okay.

995
01:12:27.720 --> 01:12:29.720
See you later.

996
01:12:29.720 --> 01:12:39.560
Um, but, um, I, and then I was on this other Zeus app for a while and like met a few guys,

997
01:12:39.560 --> 01:12:45.960
but like nothing ever, um, they, they say, yeah, let's to get, get together.

998
01:12:45.960 --> 01:12:47.560
And then something would come up.

999
01:12:47.560 --> 01:12:48.560
Yeah.

1000
01:12:48.880 --> 01:12:54.080
But, um, so like, what is a good platform?

1001
01:12:54.080 --> 01:12:58.680
Like, I, I don't know, I'm, I'm a little bit scared because I've got a really bad taste

1002
01:12:58.680 --> 01:13:03.960
in my mouth from those previous, um, and they did have two questions and hopefully I'll

1003
01:13:03.960 --> 01:13:07.920
remember the other one, but I'm like, what is a good platform?

1004
01:13:07.920 --> 01:13:15.960
Like, so I wish there was this like miraculous app that's like, this is the one to go to.

1005
01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:18.560
Unfortunately, that's not the case.

1006
01:13:18.560 --> 01:13:22.040
Now we have partnered with arc.

1007
01:13:22.040 --> 01:13:24.200
It's a brand new app.

1008
01:13:24.200 --> 01:13:30.160
I encourage all you ladies to click on that, um, get the link.

1009
01:13:30.160 --> 01:13:34.600
And I know Laura, we've got to, we gotta, we gotta straighten out all of the technical

1010
01:13:34.600 --> 01:13:35.600
stuff.

1011
01:13:35.600 --> 01:13:46.800
Um, but we will have last year, single, um, partnership events that when you sign up through

1012
01:13:46.800 --> 01:13:55.720
our last year, single link, which is under the resource tab, and you will be invited

1013
01:13:55.720 --> 01:13:59.040
when the time comes for us to have these events.

1014
01:13:59.040 --> 01:14:01.680
And so it's, it's a newer app.

1015
01:14:01.680 --> 01:14:05.800
So you're, again, it's going to probably have a smaller demographic right now as they

1016
01:14:05.800 --> 01:14:06.800
are.

1017
01:14:06.800 --> 01:14:08.680
I live, I live in a rural area too.

1018
01:14:08.680 --> 01:14:09.680
I'm in Montana.

1019
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:10.680
So.

1020
01:14:10.680 --> 01:14:11.680
Okay.

1021
01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:16.520
So, but even if you can find somewhere where, you know, maybe if there's enough notice that

1022
01:14:16.520 --> 01:14:23.960
you can have a little, you know, three or four day trip, you know, sort of thing happen.

1023
01:14:23.960 --> 01:14:29.480
Um, but, um, so I'm going to, I'm going to put a plug for that.

1024
01:14:29.480 --> 01:14:32.200
Um, I never experienced it cause it was a new app.

1025
01:14:32.200 --> 01:14:37.840
I honestly got a lot of good dates from Facebook dating.

1026
01:14:37.840 --> 01:14:49.760
Um, I know a lot of people use hinge salts, holy upward bumble.

1027
01:14:49.760 --> 01:14:51.360
There's a handful of them.

1028
01:14:51.360 --> 01:14:57.440
And I like what you brought up because a lot of times, and I see it in our community where

1029
01:14:57.440 --> 01:14:58.960
people are only set.

1030
01:14:58.960 --> 01:15:00.040
I only want to go on.

1031
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.000
Christian apps. I get it, but like you said,

1032
01:15:05.680 --> 01:15:07.400
just because someone's on a Christian app

1033
01:15:07.400 --> 01:15:09.360
doesn't mean that they're a believer.

1034
01:15:09.360 --> 01:15:11.680
Doesn't mean they have a relationship.

1035
01:15:11.680 --> 01:15:13.920
And just because it's not a Christian app

1036
01:15:13.920 --> 01:15:17.120
doesn't mean that there are not people who love Jesus

1037
01:15:17.120 --> 01:15:18.240
that are on those apps.

1038
01:15:19.440 --> 01:15:21.760
Ladies, I was on apps that were not Christian-based

1039
01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:24.200
and I love the Lord.

1040
01:15:25.640 --> 01:15:28.160
And so keep that in mind.

1041
01:15:29.160 --> 01:15:32.800
I would say don't overextend yourself.

1042
01:15:32.800 --> 01:15:34.680
Try maybe two.

1043
01:15:35.600 --> 01:15:37.760
Sometimes you do a paid one and a free one.

1044
01:15:39.560 --> 01:15:41.400
Or two free ones, whatever.

1045
01:15:41.400 --> 01:15:44.000
Give it a good month.

1046
01:15:44.960 --> 01:15:49.960
I would say give the free ones a solid month.

1047
01:15:50.300 --> 01:15:51.240
If it's a paid one,

1048
01:15:51.240 --> 01:15:53.800
you're gonna wanna give it a good three months.

1049
01:15:53.800 --> 01:15:55.460
There is ebbs and flows.

1050
01:15:56.100 --> 01:16:01.100
Remember how online dating was for you before heartwork

1051
01:16:03.060 --> 01:16:05.860
is gonna be different how online dating is now.

1052
01:16:05.860 --> 01:16:08.260
And if it starts feeling similar,

1053
01:16:08.260 --> 01:16:11.020
it's probably because there's an area of healing

1054
01:16:11.020 --> 01:16:12.060
and some revelation.

1055
01:16:12.060 --> 01:16:17.060
There's a pattern or a belief or a lie that's surfacing

1056
01:16:17.740 --> 01:16:20.820
because of what happened before.

1057
01:16:20.820 --> 01:16:23.860
And so this is why I always encourage you ladies,

1058
01:16:23.860 --> 01:16:26.460
show up, post, comment.

1059
01:16:26.460 --> 01:16:29.580
Like Marley was saying, I feel like I'm posting too much.

1060
01:16:29.580 --> 01:16:31.500
You're not posting too much, y'all.

1061
01:16:31.500 --> 01:16:32.340
You're not-

1062
01:16:32.340 --> 01:16:34.380
This isn't going back to the picture.

1063
01:16:34.380 --> 01:16:38.620
So does that help?

1064
01:16:38.620 --> 01:16:40.500
Yeah, that's helpful.

1065
01:16:40.500 --> 01:16:45.500
So, you know, they have like on Zeus,

1066
01:16:46.220 --> 01:16:48.660
they had like profiles like you could,

1067
01:16:49.540 --> 01:16:51.500
they'd have like spiritual,

1068
01:16:51.500 --> 01:16:55.460
but not religious or Christian or Catholic

1069
01:16:55.460 --> 01:17:00.460
or like what categories like should you-

1070
01:17:04.620 --> 01:17:06.940
You get to decide.

1071
01:17:06.940 --> 01:17:09.140
You get to decide on this, okay?

1072
01:17:09.140 --> 01:17:12.420
I, okay, and I'm just speaking, this is what I did, okay?

1073
01:17:12.420 --> 01:17:14.420
Just because I did it doesn't mean y'all have to do it.

1074
01:17:14.420 --> 01:17:16.140
Cause remember, like I said at the beginning

1075
01:17:16.140 --> 01:17:18.340
and Lori, I don't know if you're here.

1076
01:17:18.340 --> 01:17:20.780
I don't like to say that we have rules.

1077
01:17:20.860 --> 01:17:21.780
Right, right, right.

1078
01:17:21.780 --> 01:17:23.980
Guidelines, we have guardrails, okay?

1079
01:17:23.980 --> 01:17:26.980
Like this is a discovery for dating process for you.

1080
01:17:26.980 --> 01:17:28.700
You're learning more about you as well.

1081
01:17:28.700 --> 01:17:30.540
What are your boundaries?

1082
01:17:30.540 --> 01:17:31.380
Who are you?

1083
01:17:31.380 --> 01:17:32.220
What do you like?

1084
01:17:32.220 --> 01:17:33.060
What do you want?

1085
01:17:33.060 --> 01:17:34.940
What do you not want?

1086
01:17:34.940 --> 01:17:37.700
You know, you get to make that choice.

1087
01:17:38.900 --> 01:17:43.900
I found it helpful for me to not get bombarded

1088
01:17:45.460 --> 01:17:50.460
was I was only going to like or respond to messages

1089
01:17:51.580 --> 01:17:56.500
or reach out to guys that had their category as Christian.

1090
01:17:57.540 --> 01:17:59.780
That was my choice, okay?

1091
01:18:02.380 --> 01:18:06.300
I know a lot of women that do that.

1092
01:18:06.300 --> 01:18:10.660
So you get, but you get to decide if, you know.

1093
01:18:12.100 --> 01:18:12.940
And I like that.

1094
01:18:12.940 --> 01:18:16.100
Cause at least I'm kind of filtering out

1095
01:18:16.100 --> 01:18:17.740
the possibility of nobody.

1096
01:18:17.740 --> 01:18:19.620
Like, I mean, here's the thing.

1097
01:18:19.700 --> 01:18:20.540
You're going to get people

1098
01:18:20.540 --> 01:18:22.540
that are going to put Christian on their category

1099
01:18:22.540 --> 01:18:24.540
and they're not really going to be like,

1100
01:18:25.420 --> 01:18:27.180
I don't know, for Jesus, you know?

1101
01:18:27.180 --> 01:18:30.580
Like they recognize it.

1102
01:18:30.580 --> 01:18:32.860
They believe in God and they think

1103
01:18:32.860 --> 01:18:34.780
just believing in God is, that's it.

1104
01:18:34.780 --> 01:18:36.780
There's no relationship.

1105
01:18:36.780 --> 01:18:41.220
There's no substance, okay?

1106
01:18:41.220 --> 01:18:44.020
But again, you're going to go on two or three dates

1107
01:18:44.020 --> 01:18:47.500
as long as they're not throwing you some red, red flags.

1108
01:18:47.500 --> 01:18:49.100
And if you're not sure about flags

1109
01:18:49.580 --> 01:18:51.260
or you want to say something's a red flag,

1110
01:18:51.260 --> 01:18:53.300
come check with us first.

1111
01:18:53.300 --> 01:18:55.420
And you're like, I always say your red flags

1112
01:18:55.420 --> 01:18:56.780
are going to be, if they are,

1113
01:18:56.780 --> 01:18:59.060
if they're completely inappropriate,

1114
01:18:59.060 --> 01:19:02.220
if they are crossing some physical, sexual boundaries,

1115
01:19:02.220 --> 01:19:04.580
they're saying inappropriate things,

1116
01:19:04.580 --> 01:19:06.540
they're not respecting your boundary.

1117
01:19:06.540 --> 01:19:10.020
If they are not like, that's a red flag, okay?

1118
01:19:11.460 --> 01:19:14.140
But if anything else, like you guys,

1119
01:19:14.140 --> 01:19:17.340
you ladies can come to us, like I'll, we'll let you know.

1120
01:19:17.340 --> 01:19:19.580
We'll let you know, okay, well, I get it.

1121
01:19:19.580 --> 01:19:20.940
That might be a yellow flag.

1122
01:19:20.940 --> 01:19:23.100
These are how we are going to see if it turns red

1123
01:19:23.100 --> 01:19:24.660
or if it's going to turn green.

1124
01:19:26.180 --> 01:19:27.660
And if you're like, this is what's happening.

1125
01:19:27.660 --> 01:19:31.420
I've had women share experiences

1126
01:19:31.420 --> 01:19:34.500
and they don't have any boundaries

1127
01:19:34.500 --> 01:19:37.460
and they think that what they're experiencing

1128
01:19:37.460 --> 01:19:39.780
with this man is okay.

1129
01:19:39.780 --> 01:19:43.220
And we've had to coach women and say,

1130
01:19:43.220 --> 01:19:45.860
no, this is a red flag.

1131
01:19:45.860 --> 01:19:48.700
We're concerned for your safety.

1132
01:19:48.700 --> 01:19:52.540
This man is modeling abusive behavior.

1133
01:19:52.540 --> 01:19:57.540
And if you continue and you don't end it,

1134
01:19:57.940 --> 01:19:59.380
we're concerned for you.

1135
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.440
And we have to allow all you ladies to make your own choices.

1136
01:20:05.440 --> 01:20:10.120
So with, um, putting a profile up there, that's my next question.

1137
01:20:10.120 --> 01:20:16.640
Like I've been married three times, like, I mean, you don't have to share that with

1138
01:20:16.640 --> 01:20:17.640
men.

1139
01:20:17.640 --> 01:20:18.640
You don't.

1140
01:20:18.640 --> 01:20:19.640
Okay.

1141
01:20:19.640 --> 01:20:26.560
Cause I know I have that on my profile here with last year single, my profile here on

1142
01:20:26.560 --> 01:20:27.560
last year single.

1143
01:20:27.560 --> 01:20:28.560
Yeah.

1144
01:20:28.560 --> 01:20:29.560
Yeah.

1145
01:20:29.560 --> 01:20:33.160
Only Jackie and her two of my matchmakers, it's the men don't see that.

1146
01:20:33.160 --> 01:20:34.160
No.

1147
01:20:34.160 --> 01:20:35.160
Um, yeah.

1148
01:20:35.160 --> 01:20:36.360
You don't have to share that information.

1149
01:20:36.360 --> 01:20:41.760
And I know, and I just want to reassure you, your spirit mate that God has for you is not

1150
01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:43.960
going to hold your past against you.

1151
01:20:43.960 --> 01:20:44.960
Okay.

1152
01:20:44.960 --> 01:20:52.080
God is like, do you guys have coaching for like doing your, what is appropriate?

1153
01:20:52.080 --> 01:20:56.920
A lot of women say they type out their, what they want to share.

1154
01:20:56.920 --> 01:21:02.240
And then myself or Ebony can come in and we can give you pointers of, Hey, say this,

1155
01:21:02.240 --> 01:21:04.360
do this include this.

1156
01:21:04.360 --> 01:21:09.240
Um, I was just saying like, start off like, again, you want to be, keep it simple.

1157
01:21:09.240 --> 01:21:10.240
All right.

1158
01:21:10.240 --> 01:21:14.720
Cause a lot of, a lot of times we won't read the big, long profiles, you know, share a

1159
01:21:14.720 --> 01:21:20.320
little bit about yourself, um, your person, like what your personality, I was the one

1160
01:21:20.320 --> 01:21:28.040
thing that I use to kind of help me is I went to, um, to, I think I went, I actually

1161
01:21:28.040 --> 01:21:32.120
think I went to Bethany, um, cause she and I were good friends.

1162
01:21:32.120 --> 01:21:40.280
And then I went to my best friend and I said, okay, I need you to, to share with me, like,

1163
01:21:40.280 --> 01:21:41.280
how do you see me?

1164
01:21:41.280 --> 01:21:45.560
Uh, what do you would use to describe me?

1165
01:21:45.560 --> 01:21:50.680
And I would take, I took what like Bethany shared and what my friend Sarah shared and

1166
01:21:50.680 --> 01:21:56.520
I was like, okay, yeah, I like, this is, this is, you know, I am, I'm loyal.

1167
01:21:56.520 --> 01:21:59.960
I, you know, um, I forget him what they said.

1168
01:21:59.960 --> 01:22:02.760
This has been a year since I had that, my profile up.

1169
01:22:02.760 --> 01:22:05.320
Um, I'm just a good friend.

1170
01:22:05.320 --> 01:22:11.560
Like I am a good listener and I mean, I just shared a little bit about myself.

1171
01:22:11.560 --> 01:22:14.120
Um, I was, I did share that I was a mom.

1172
01:22:14.120 --> 01:22:20.400
I enjoyed, you know, my son was an athlete, so I enjoyed, you know, spending a lot of

1173
01:22:20.400 --> 01:22:23.520
my time was going to his games and practices.

1174
01:22:23.520 --> 01:22:25.080
We also enjoyed amusement parks.

1175
01:22:25.080 --> 01:22:26.080
We lived in Florida.

1176
01:22:26.080 --> 01:22:27.080
So we always visited Disney.

1177
01:22:27.080 --> 01:22:29.400
Um, so I shared a little bit about that.

1178
01:22:29.400 --> 01:22:30.760
I didn't give too much detail.

1179
01:22:30.760 --> 01:22:35.760
I never ladies, for those of you that have kids, like don't give too much detail, but

1180
01:22:35.760 --> 01:22:42.400
I want to, like, don't withhold that you are a mother, like you're going to want someone

1181
01:22:42.400 --> 01:22:47.480
that knows you're a mom because you're looking for someone to come and like, except the fact

1182
01:22:47.480 --> 01:22:51.080
that you have kids, like you're a package, you're a package deal.

1183
01:22:51.080 --> 01:22:52.080
Yeah.

1184
01:22:52.080 --> 01:22:53.080
I lost it.

1185
01:22:53.080 --> 01:22:55.440
I lost the date because I'm a mom.

1186
01:22:55.440 --> 01:22:56.440
And that's good.

1187
01:22:56.440 --> 01:23:01.960
Like, like I did y'all, I had one guy, he was actually in this program and Jackie's

1188
01:23:01.960 --> 01:23:05.160
like, Oh, this guy lives in your city, which was crazy.

1189
01:23:05.160 --> 01:23:12.240
Cause there wasn't a lot of like singles my age in this, in the city I lived in, in Florida.

1190
01:23:13.080 --> 01:23:19.800
And this man didn't, told Jackie, I don't know if I want to date her.

1191
01:23:19.800 --> 01:23:28.200
She's, she's got a child and she was never married and feel good.

1192
01:23:28.200 --> 01:23:33.280
Like the enemy wanted me to start believing lies that no good Christian man was going

1193
01:23:33.280 --> 01:23:38.560
to accept the fact that I had a child out of wedlock.

1194
01:23:38.560 --> 01:23:49.000
And God's like, no, like you've repented, you know, I've, I've come to like, you're,

1195
01:23:49.000 --> 01:23:51.640
you're forgiven.

1196
01:23:51.640 --> 01:23:58.400
And I'm married to a man now who is so understanding and forgiving of my past.

1197
01:23:58.400 --> 01:24:01.460
He doesn't hold that against me.

1198
01:24:01.460 --> 01:24:08.000
And so you don't have to share the whole, how many times y'all been divorced and all

1199
01:24:08.000 --> 01:24:09.000
that kind of stuff.

1200
01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:11.560
Like you don't have to share all of that.

1201
01:24:11.560 --> 01:24:16.440
Wait until you've gotten to know them to start giving them those layers.

1202
01:24:16.440 --> 01:24:18.200
Okay.

1203
01:24:18.200 --> 01:24:22.360
But share a little bit about yourself, where you live, what you enjoy, what, what, what

1204
01:24:22.360 --> 01:24:32.320
makes you, you, and then ladies make sure that you share, what do you like about men?

1205
01:24:32.320 --> 01:24:33.720
Like what are you looking for?

1206
01:24:33.720 --> 01:24:38.320
What qualities and characteristics are attractive to you?

1207
01:24:38.320 --> 01:24:40.800
Share that in your profile.

1208
01:24:40.800 --> 01:24:41.800
What are you looking for?

1209
01:24:41.800 --> 01:24:42.920
What do you want?

1210
01:24:42.920 --> 01:24:45.440
And let us know.

1211
01:24:45.440 --> 01:24:49.520
And we will, and we'll, we'll, we'll coach you through that.

1212
01:24:49.520 --> 01:24:50.520
We'll give you pointers.

1213
01:24:50.520 --> 01:24:52.440
We'll give you tips.

1214
01:24:52.440 --> 01:24:53.440
That goes for everybody.

1215
01:24:53.440 --> 01:24:54.440
All right.

1216
01:24:54.440 --> 01:24:55.440
All right.

1217
01:24:55.440 --> 01:25:00.040
I got, um, Lori and then Michelle, and we are like 15 minutes over time.

1218
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.000
So, if we can be short, brief and powerful, I do want to take your questions though.

1219
01:25:06.000 --> 01:25:18.360
Laurie. Okay, so my question is around readiness to date. So I was just to kind of recap.

1220
01:25:18.360 --> 01:25:29.940
Where I'm coming in at a year ago in July, I parted ways with a gentleman that I was near to engaged with.

1221
01:25:29.940 --> 01:25:42.180
A ring in the making and really both out of obedience to the Lord and also to really to my own heart. He.

1222
01:25:42.180 --> 01:25:48.060
Was he's a Catholic, but not really any relationship with the Lord or.

1223
01:25:48.060 --> 01:25:54.720
Hunger and we were working, I started working with Danny silks.

1224
01:25:54.720 --> 01:25:59.100
And ended up going through Kylo University.

1225
01:25:59.480 --> 01:26:22.440
And coached with Brittany, Danny's daughter at that point. Okay. And yeah, definitely an equally yoked, but also had opportunities personally for me for growth and healing and boundaries and, you know, kind of 1 of those questions of how did I get here?

1226
01:26:23.160 --> 01:26:39.980
And I just, you know, I accepted things that weren't okay with me as far as, you know, a mate and under, you know, just anyway, so that has been like, so I basically I moved back from I am in Michigan.

1227
01:26:40.140 --> 01:26:52.380
I had been out in reading California for 5 years went to be a system. I moved back for this relationship in March back to Michigan, or you move back to reading.

1228
01:26:52.860 --> 01:27:06.840
I moved back to Michigan and in March and by July was parting ways and it was last year, March of last year in July. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha.

1229
01:27:07.840 --> 01:27:36.000
Yeah, yeah, so, and and was able to navigate through that really beautifully honoring and just really appreciating each other for the good that we brought and, you know, if anything, like, all the things that beyond the spiritual that were frustrating for me was really me, like, pointing back at myself and I really could see where I needed additional healing.

1230
01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:52.180
So, really went on that journey with the Kylo and then this last year single and I've experienced in our healing. So, I guess I haven't I haven't been working for like, a year now, but I am financially fine.

1231
01:27:52.920 --> 01:28:03.180
Okay, more than fine. So, like, but I, my, my dad also passed away in December.

1232
01:28:03.700 --> 01:28:13.240
My son, my youngest son eloped and so there was just a lot. It felt like triple grief. Yeah.

1233
01:28:13.240 --> 01:28:36.960
Um, but I feel like I feel healed and whole and with my boys and it just all feels really settled. And then, like, this, like, so many encounters the Lord where I just felt like he was just sealing in all the healing that, like, of the last five years.

1234
01:28:36.960 --> 01:29:03.720
So, it's just like, super beautiful. This season's been marked by so much beauty. Yeah, I would say. Yeah, since I would say maybe March of this year started really experiencing the beauty of the Lord and just goodness and sweetness and joy and feel like I'm feeling like myself again.

1235
01:29:03.720 --> 01:29:31.800
And I feel ready to date, but I have this belief in my mind that I can't work because well, I would say at large, because I don't have it all together from the standpoint of I should have, you know, just I don't feel like I've been ready until this point to really be like, okay, am I gonna work again?

1236
01:29:31.800 --> 01:29:44.400
Or I have, or am I gonna start my own business or, and have ideas, but honing in and, like, getting clarity on that. I feel like I have to have that together before I can move forward.

1237
01:29:45.280 --> 01:29:56.880
And maybe that's not well, and one thing that comes into my mind is just over the years, like, Jackie speaking on this sometimes.

1238
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.400
our process and going through that or going to work is actually going to get us to that

1239
01:30:04.400 --> 01:30:08.080
person or that person is going to bring us to the job that we're supposed to. I mean

1240
01:30:08.080 --> 01:30:17.640
jobs can be temporary. Yeah. And so, but you mentioned this belief that you can't do something.

1241
01:30:17.640 --> 01:30:26.200
So let's like, Ooh, I feel that one. So anyway, so here's the thing. I sat in this belief.

1242
01:30:26.200 --> 01:30:34.120
I finished up. I had such incredible, that's incredible, really deep, dear. So intimate.

1243
01:30:34.120 --> 01:30:41.200
These encounters that I experienced through the first section and just feeling so alive.

1244
01:30:41.200 --> 01:30:45.960
And then I put this thing on myself, like, but you can put yourself on the shelf now

1245
01:30:45.960 --> 01:30:51.760
because you have to have this together. And I felt sadness then I felt like I came under

1246
01:30:52.760 --> 01:30:56.920
And I was sitting with the Holy Spirit and I said, what's going on? I feel like I've

1247
01:30:56.920 --> 01:31:02.880
lost all this beauty and this aliveness. And he said, you put yourself on the shelf. You

1248
01:31:02.880 --> 01:31:12.080
disqualified yourself. And I'm like, as soon as I said, okay, you can have the pen. You,

1249
01:31:12.080 --> 01:31:17.480
you can write it right now. Like I don't have it all together. And I feel like I've had,

1250
01:31:17.480 --> 01:31:26.480
I have it like lots of together in my life. So let's get to the, let's, let's start asking

1251
01:31:26.480 --> 01:31:30.760
Holy Spirit to show us where that root, where that lie came in, that I have to have it together

1252
01:31:30.760 --> 01:31:38.560
because ladies, do we all ever have it really together? It's like, Oh my word. I mean, like,

1253
01:31:38.560 --> 01:31:46.160
you know what? And actually I like, thank you. Thank you. We're always waiting on like,

1254
01:31:47.160 --> 01:31:52.320
just reminded me of something that Jackie shared. And this is, this is Holy Spirit.

1255
01:31:52.320 --> 01:32:01.560
I remember her talking about y'all know that saying, have your ducks in a row. Yeah. Jackie

1256
01:32:01.560 --> 01:32:10.920
pointed out, when have you ladies ever seen in a pond or lake with ducks where she got all her

1257
01:32:10.920 --> 01:32:19.520
babies in a row? There's always one way that she's having to go like back in here. You don't

1258
01:32:19.520 --> 01:32:24.560
ever have all of our ducks in a row. We don't have to be put together. We don't have to be

1259
01:32:24.560 --> 01:32:31.640
put together because Jesus did that at the finished work of the cross y'all. And so let's,

1260
01:32:31.640 --> 01:32:40.120
let's start asking Holy Spirit to reveal where did this enter? Where did this lie come in that I have

1261
01:32:40.800 --> 01:32:52.000
to be put together? I feel like, well, I think it comes somewhere from childhood, but yeah,

1262
01:32:52.000 --> 01:33:00.320
cause right. The rejection and perfection coming out of, you know, it will maybe if I'm perfect,

1263
01:33:00.320 --> 01:33:08.760
but yeah, it really, I want you to spend this week. I want you processing that. Okay. I want

1264
01:33:09.640 --> 01:33:15.240
you processing through that. I want you to come back next week, share with us what revelations

1265
01:33:15.240 --> 01:33:19.880
you have. What's God showing you if you don't want to wait till next week. Again, I encourage you

1266
01:33:19.880 --> 01:33:25.920
ladies to post things in the, in the app as well. So yeah, I really want you to work on that. I,

1267
01:33:25.920 --> 01:33:36.080
I'm, I think, I think some good healing. Yeah, I will do that. Do you, so is that and say,

1268
01:33:36.080 --> 01:33:46.000
I just needed to say it out loud. Is that so I can date. Yeah, you can, you can. And guess what?

1269
01:33:46.000 --> 01:33:56.040
There'll be healing in your dating. Ladies, there'll be healing. There's going to be things

1270
01:33:56.040 --> 01:34:00.880
that surfaced in your dating ladies. And I will tell you, like it, and it doesn't have to be

1271
01:34:00.880 --> 01:34:07.400
scary. It doesn't have to be scary at all. Okay. Let's just be open. Let's have those teachable

1272
01:34:07.400 --> 01:34:12.560
hearts. Let's be open to what Holy spirit wants to show us. All right. Let's be willing to receive

1273
01:34:12.560 --> 01:34:20.320
what he has through every experience, every interaction that we have. But yeah, you, you're,

1274
01:34:20.320 --> 01:34:27.120
you're out of heartwork. You are, you're ready for dating. Wow. We're here and we're here to

1275
01:34:27.120 --> 01:34:31.680
support you. And we're here to help you lift you up when, you know, because ladies, I'll be honest,

1276
01:34:31.680 --> 01:34:41.080
the roadblocks will happen. They do. They do. That's why we need Jesus. That's why we need

1277
01:34:41.080 --> 01:34:46.600
community. That's why we need each other. That's why God brought, that's why he made people for

1278
01:34:46.600 --> 01:34:53.440
people because he knew we couldn't go through this life alone. We needed him. And he brought

1279
01:34:53.440 --> 01:35:00.040
people to support us that will direct us to him because the enemy wants

1280
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.200
to keep us in isolation.

1281
01:35:02.200 --> 01:35:04.960
Wow, I feel like I'm even sensing

1282
01:35:04.960 --> 01:35:07.720
that like it's just self-protection.

1283
01:35:09.000 --> 01:35:12.240
There's always gotta be some reason.

1284
01:35:12.240 --> 01:35:13.440
Yeah, you're protecting yourself.

1285
01:35:13.440 --> 01:35:15.160
So yeah, process through that more,

1286
01:35:15.160 --> 01:35:17.800
kind of ask Holy Spirit to reveal any memories

1287
01:35:17.800 --> 01:35:21.520
or areas like where did this enter?

1288
01:35:21.520 --> 01:35:23.520
And what healing needs to take place?

1289
01:35:24.880 --> 01:35:27.040
And again, ladies, I always wanna preface this

1290
01:35:27.040 --> 01:35:29.640
and I say it because sometimes I forget to do it.

1291
01:35:29.640 --> 01:35:32.080
When we figure out those lies that we're believing

1292
01:35:32.080 --> 01:35:35.640
and we recognize where they come from, that's not the end.

1293
01:35:35.640 --> 01:35:39.320
We have to replace the lie with his truth.

1294
01:35:41.240 --> 01:35:44.040
That is so important because then when the enemy

1295
01:35:44.040 --> 01:35:46.520
wants to come and give us that same lie again,

1296
01:35:46.520 --> 01:35:51.320
because he will, now we know the truth.

1297
01:35:51.320 --> 01:35:55.640
And the enemy can't sit and continue to use against us

1298
01:35:55.640 --> 01:35:58.760
if we have the truth to fight him off.

1299
01:36:00.600 --> 01:36:04.040
So just make sure ladies, when those hard work things

1300
01:36:04.040 --> 01:36:06.280
are coming up in your dating experiences

1301
01:36:06.280 --> 01:36:10.480
and when we prompt you questions and stuff like that,

1302
01:36:10.480 --> 01:36:13.560
make sure that you're replacing those lies

1303
01:36:13.560 --> 01:36:18.160
with the truth, with his truth, okay?

1304
01:36:18.160 --> 01:36:20.760
All right, Michelle, you've got the floor.

1305
01:36:20.760 --> 01:36:22.440
And ladies, if you have to go,

1306
01:36:22.440 --> 01:36:25.840
like I don't typically go this late

1307
01:36:25.840 --> 01:36:27.040
and that's all my fault.

1308
01:36:27.040 --> 01:36:28.360
If I get reprimanded for it,

1309
01:36:28.360 --> 01:36:30.920
I'm gonna take the blame, okay?

1310
01:36:30.920 --> 01:36:32.720
I know I talked a lot in the beginning too.

1311
01:36:32.720 --> 01:36:36.040
So just if you're new on the call,

1312
01:36:36.040 --> 01:36:38.200
just know we always don't go this long, okay?

1313
01:36:38.200 --> 01:36:41.040
We typically try to end it at like 2.15.

1314
01:36:41.040 --> 01:36:45.760
We try to keep it at like 75 minutes, 90 minutes tops, okay?

1315
01:36:45.760 --> 01:36:48.120
Michelle, thank you for being patient.

1316
01:36:48.120 --> 01:36:50.480
I'm so excited to hear what you got.

1317
01:36:50.480 --> 01:36:52.600
I know you said, I've been here for a while.

1318
01:36:52.600 --> 01:36:54.240
It's totally okay, we got you.

1319
01:36:55.360 --> 01:36:57.760
Yeah, I'll try to be succinct.

1320
01:36:57.760 --> 01:37:00.240
I just am asking for,

1321
01:37:00.240 --> 01:37:03.840
I wanna know if you think my perspective on this is healthy.

1322
01:37:03.840 --> 01:37:05.880
Like if I'm thinking about something the right way.

1323
01:37:05.880 --> 01:37:07.720
I think I am, but I just,

1324
01:37:11.360 --> 01:37:13.240
like, I don't know, affirmations.

1325
01:37:14.800 --> 01:37:17.680
So I've been seeing this guy for a while

1326
01:37:17.680 --> 01:37:20.960
and we've been on several dates.

1327
01:37:20.960 --> 01:37:23.880
I would say, obviously it's very preliminary,

1328
01:37:23.880 --> 01:37:26.160
like, cause we've only been on several dates,

1329
01:37:26.160 --> 01:37:28.600
but I don't have any concerns about him.

1330
01:37:29.760 --> 01:37:31.760
It's kind of been more of a slow burn

1331
01:37:31.760 --> 01:37:33.600
than I've ever experienced before,

1332
01:37:33.600 --> 01:37:37.080
but attraction and chemistry has definitely grown.

1333
01:37:38.640 --> 01:37:41.400
I find him really attractive, like we love,

1334
01:37:41.400 --> 01:37:43.600
we have really great conversations.

1335
01:37:45.000 --> 01:37:47.360
And I feel like we connect a lot on like a moral

1336
01:37:47.360 --> 01:37:49.680
and a spiritual level more than I have

1337
01:37:50.640 --> 01:37:52.040
with other guys I've dated.

1338
01:37:52.040 --> 01:37:54.920
And this instead, I think we just have very similar values

1339
01:37:54.920 --> 01:37:57.080
and ways that we kind of look at the world.

1340
01:37:58.040 --> 01:38:01.040
He is divorced and has two little kids,

1341
01:38:01.040 --> 01:38:06.040
which I've never dated anybody with that dynamic before,

1342
01:38:06.480 --> 01:38:09.880
but I am open to being with somebody with kids.

1343
01:38:11.040 --> 01:38:12.800
You work in the teaching field, right?

1344
01:38:12.800 --> 01:38:14.280
Right.

1345
01:38:14.280 --> 01:38:15.120
I remember this.

1346
01:38:15.120 --> 01:38:17.160
I remember a lot of this, so we're good.

1347
01:38:17.160 --> 01:38:18.000
Yeah, okay, cool.

1348
01:38:18.000 --> 01:38:21.800
So I will say about me a little context.

1349
01:38:21.800 --> 01:38:24.400
In the past, I would have never like went to coffee

1350
01:38:24.920 --> 01:38:26.960
with somebody if I wasn't like, okay, I've already decided

1351
01:38:26.960 --> 01:38:27.800
I can marry you.

1352
01:38:27.800 --> 01:38:29.720
Like I would, I have these really weird,

1353
01:38:29.720 --> 01:38:33.960
like needing to decide very soon thinking.

1354
01:38:33.960 --> 01:38:35.560
I think some of that was self-protection

1355
01:38:35.560 --> 01:38:38.000
and also that like fear of leading somebody on.

1356
01:38:39.360 --> 01:38:42.120
And then also one other piece of context.

1357
01:38:42.120 --> 01:38:45.480
So I grew up on a farm in a really kind of unique situation

1358
01:38:45.480 --> 01:38:48.080
where a lot of my family lives on a piece

1359
01:38:48.080 --> 01:38:51.600
of a 500 acre farm my grandpa owned generations ago.

1360
01:38:51.680 --> 01:38:55.560
So like, I grew up being next door to everybody.

1361
01:38:55.560 --> 01:38:58.120
And like, that's how everybody has,

1362
01:38:58.120 --> 01:38:59.720
like, I don't know how it's been that way,

1363
01:38:59.720 --> 01:39:02.960
but like, I see my cousins, like people see their siblings.

1364
01:39:02.960 --> 01:39:05.400
Like, that's just how it's always been.

1365
01:39:05.400 --> 01:39:08.440
So I always grew up with this very strong picture

1366
01:39:08.440 --> 01:39:10.720
of like, I'm gonna live next door to my parents

1367
01:39:10.720 --> 01:39:11.840
on a piece of this farm.

1368
01:39:11.840 --> 01:39:13.360
Because from the time I was a little kid,

1369
01:39:13.360 --> 01:39:15.840
it was like, oh, that's your piece of the farm.

1370
01:39:15.840 --> 01:39:17.400
Like, if you want it.

1371
01:39:17.400 --> 01:39:19.080
And I just took for granted that like,

1372
01:39:19.080 --> 01:39:23.480
I would meet somebody local like everybody else did.

1373
01:39:23.480 --> 01:39:26.360
And that's where I would live.

1374
01:39:26.360 --> 01:39:29.280
And so I felt though like the Lord recently

1375
01:39:29.280 --> 01:39:31.920
has been asking me to like hold that more loosely.

1376
01:39:31.920 --> 01:39:34.840
Cause that feels, it's like, it's starting to feel limiting.

1377
01:39:34.840 --> 01:39:38.720
Cause then it's like, okay, I'm gonna meet this guy now

1378
01:39:38.720 --> 01:39:42.120
who's not 20 when my cousins got married,

1379
01:39:42.120 --> 01:39:43.360
when they don't have anything,

1380
01:39:43.360 --> 01:39:44.880
but somebody who's in their mid thirties

1381
01:39:44.880 --> 01:39:48.040
who's like established somewhere, you know?

1382
01:39:48.040 --> 01:39:50.760
And be like, by the way, we have to live next to my parents.

1383
01:39:50.760 --> 01:39:52.720
Like that feels really weird.

1384
01:39:52.720 --> 01:39:54.480
And I'm not even sure that that's something

1385
01:39:54.480 --> 01:39:57.200
that I feel that I need to do.

1386
01:39:57.200 --> 01:40:00.000
It's just that it's been such a strong picture.

1387
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.200
through my head. And this guy, because of his shared parenting,

1388
01:40:04.200 --> 01:40:09.040
I would have to live about an hour away. Um, which I, it gives

1389
01:40:09.040 --> 01:40:12.580
me some anxiety, but I don't feel like it's a deal breaker.

1390
01:40:12.600 --> 01:40:16.400
So that's why I have like, I'm like, kind of trying to sit in

1391
01:40:16.400 --> 01:40:20.640
that tension, instead of trying to make a decision. And I have

1392
01:40:20.640 --> 01:40:24.600
shared that with him, he knows that that's like, like, that's a

1393
01:40:24.600 --> 01:40:29.800
stretch. But when I have been in relationships before, once I'm

1394
01:40:29.800 --> 01:40:31.320
to a point where like, this is my boyfriend, I'm really

1395
01:40:31.320 --> 01:40:33.560
attached to this person, we've been together for a while, I

1396
01:40:33.560 --> 01:40:37.680
have been willing to move, like, an hour away, because by that

1397
01:40:37.680 --> 01:40:42.080
point, I was like, I didn't picture it as me moving alone.

1398
01:40:42.080 --> 01:40:45.920
It's like, I'm moving with you. Yeah. So I guess I'm just asking

1399
01:40:45.920 --> 01:40:50.120
if you think that that's okay for me, because at this point, I

1400
01:40:50.120 --> 01:40:52.680
mean, I've went out with quite a few other guys, since I

1401
01:40:52.680 --> 01:40:55.800
connected with Nick, did speed dating, all the things. But at

1402
01:40:55.800 --> 01:40:58.120
this point, I'm not really interested in trying to start

1403
01:40:58.120 --> 01:41:00.360
over getting to know a new person, I kind of want to see

1404
01:41:00.360 --> 01:41:01.040
what's gonna happen.

1405
01:41:01.040 --> 01:41:03.800
Well, you've had several dates. So then this is where you're in

1406
01:41:03.800 --> 01:41:08.400
that later stage of level two. Okay, is he prompted any

1407
01:41:08.400 --> 01:41:10.360
conversation about exclusivity?

1408
01:41:10.720 --> 01:41:14.280
He has told me that he is not seeing anybody else. Okay.

1409
01:41:15.640 --> 01:41:18.560
Yeah, he's prompting that. I mean, guys will say that

1410
01:41:18.560 --> 01:41:21.800
because they're trying to feel you out. Like, I'm not dating

1411
01:41:21.800 --> 01:41:23.120
anybody. Yeah.

1412
01:41:24.120 --> 01:41:27.360
I might. I was so I was like, okay, cool. And I didn't.

1413
01:41:27.640 --> 01:41:31.280
Yeah. Well, and I think because he's brought that up to you now

1414
01:41:31.280 --> 01:41:34.760
you can go to him and be like, look, you know, I appreciate

1415
01:41:34.760 --> 01:41:39.200
your patience with me. As we've gotten to know each other. I you

1416
01:41:39.200 --> 01:41:42.680
know, you communicated to me several weeks ago, a month ago,

1417
01:41:42.680 --> 01:41:47.480
whatever, that you were not dating anybody. And I want you

1418
01:41:47.480 --> 01:41:53.760
to I felt it necessary to let you know that I'm now okay, just

1419
01:41:53.760 --> 01:41:58.000
dating you if you're still open to that. I think he's given you

1420
01:41:58.000 --> 01:42:00.760
that prompting you can do that. Because, you know, one thing

1421
01:42:00.760 --> 01:42:06.440
that I love, I, you know, Michelle, I'm, I'm really proud

1422
01:42:06.440 --> 01:42:12.200
of the work that you're doing. And, and I know, trust me, when

1423
01:42:12.200 --> 01:42:17.920
I say this, I know how difficult it is to hold some things that

1424
01:42:17.920 --> 01:42:25.480
we really felt like we were gonna keep loosely. I get it. And

1425
01:42:25.480 --> 01:42:30.600
so I'm, I love seeing how you are surrendering that pen and

1426
01:42:30.600 --> 01:42:33.560
saying, you know what, I'm coming to the reality that this

1427
01:42:33.560 --> 01:42:36.760
is not a deal breaker. And just because it's not a deal breaker

1428
01:42:36.760 --> 01:42:39.680
anymore doesn't mean that it's not going to cause some like,

1429
01:42:40.160 --> 01:42:44.880
angst. Yeah. I thought a deal breaker for me was not moving

1430
01:42:44.880 --> 01:42:49.120
out of the state of Florida. I grew up in Indiana. And then my

1431
01:42:49.160 --> 01:42:53.840
early 20s, I moved to Florida, I lived 15 plus years in Florida,

1432
01:42:53.840 --> 01:42:56.920
there was a stint that I went back up to Indiana after I lived

1433
01:42:56.920 --> 01:42:59.400
there for, you know, after I lived in Florida for about three

1434
01:42:59.400 --> 01:43:02.480
or four years after a breakup, I went back and moved back home.

1435
01:43:02.920 --> 01:43:06.240
And I was like, No, I'm going back to Florida. And I was like,

1436
01:43:06.280 --> 01:43:11.560
this is where I'm keeping roots. This is where my community's

1437
01:43:11.560 --> 01:43:18.520
been. I was a son, who I had built a village to help help me

1438
01:43:18.520 --> 01:43:23.720
support I didn't want to leave. I get and it doesn't mean like

1439
01:43:23.760 --> 01:43:26.560
even after I've moved and been married that there are times it

1440
01:43:26.560 --> 01:43:31.480
is not hard. My husband, God bless him. He gives me the

1441
01:43:31.480 --> 01:43:36.600
space. He understands that, you know, there was some sacrifice

1442
01:43:36.600 --> 01:43:42.080
there. But he appreciates me. He sees how important is to me. I

1443
01:43:42.080 --> 01:43:46.480
mean, he was just like, Hey, I know what I want us to do for

1444
01:43:46.480 --> 01:43:49.040
Valentine's Day. And I was like, What are you talking about? He's

1445
01:43:49.040 --> 01:43:52.760
like, I want to I want to take you back to Florida. And I was

1446
01:43:52.760 --> 01:43:56.800
like, Oh, sweet. I'm like, Why? Why do you say he's like, I

1447
01:43:56.800 --> 01:43:59.200
don't know, I just really felt like it's something that you

1448
01:43:59.200 --> 01:44:07.680
needed. And so I, I value that you're holding that pen and

1449
01:44:07.680 --> 01:44:10.160
giving it to God. Like you're not holding it anymore, you're

1450
01:44:10.160 --> 01:44:12.560
releasing it to him. And so I think that's really important.

1451
01:44:12.880 --> 01:44:16.200
And the last thing I'll even express, like just being

1452
01:44:16.200 --> 01:44:18.240
mindful, and you have this healthy mindset of you

1453
01:44:18.240 --> 01:44:21.960
understand this man is divorced. He has two kids, he's gonna he

1454
01:44:21.960 --> 01:44:25.160
has got a parenting plan where he's gonna have to have shared

1455
01:44:25.160 --> 01:44:29.520
parenting, it's going to be important. I'm not saying don't

1456
01:44:29.520 --> 01:44:32.120
rush into this, okay, like you guys still need to establish

1457
01:44:32.120 --> 01:44:36.360
exclusivity and enjoy that. But there will come a point where

1458
01:44:36.400 --> 01:44:39.480
you know, if this continues to keep moving forward, it is going

1459
01:44:39.480 --> 01:44:44.520
to be important for you to get to be in the everyday life so

1460
01:44:44.520 --> 01:44:51.000
that you really understand what comes with that. Because I've

1461
01:44:51.000 --> 01:44:54.240
never no one in my family's divorce. I think that piece of

1462
01:44:54.240 --> 01:44:56.280
it is also it's like I've always said, Yeah, I'm open to

1463
01:44:56.280 --> 01:44:59.920
that. But I think that it's, I find myself trying to

1464
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.120
picture it, like, like, what would that look like? What

1465
01:45:03.120 --> 01:45:04.360
would that be? What was that?

1466
01:45:04.360 --> 01:45:09.080
No, it's new territory. And so, you know, be gentle with

1467
01:45:09.080 --> 01:45:13.040
yourself and gentle with with him with Nick and gentle with

1468
01:45:13.040 --> 01:45:17.240
the kids and know that it's all a process. You know, obviously

1469
01:45:17.240 --> 01:45:20.240
take his lead. Have you met the kids at all?

1470
01:45:20.560 --> 01:45:24.520
Well, he asked me, like after our second date, and I said no.

1471
01:45:24.880 --> 01:45:25.360
Good.

1472
01:45:25.880 --> 01:45:26.560
You

1473
01:45:27.800 --> 01:45:30.240
go to a movie, I think he wanted to see me on the weekend that he

1474
01:45:30.240 --> 01:45:34.080
had them. And he was like, the movie with us, and my mom and my

1475
01:45:34.080 --> 01:45:37.840
sister. And I was like, Oh, that's kind of a lot. You know?

1476
01:45:38.600 --> 01:45:42.280
Oh, but you think I should I should I say now that I would?

1477
01:45:43.000 --> 01:45:46.680
No, I let you guys have exclusivity for a little bit.

1478
01:45:46.720 --> 01:45:52.760
Okay. And if you know, pray for God's timing on that. You know,

1479
01:45:52.760 --> 01:45:56.120
pray for Nick to know when the right time is for his kids.

1480
01:45:56.120 --> 01:46:00.880
Because again, like, we don't we don't know what where the kids

1481
01:46:00.880 --> 01:46:03.200
are at either. We don't know what their experiences are. We

1482
01:46:03.200 --> 01:46:05.560
don't know what they see. And I mean, I'm sharing this from even

1483
01:46:05.560 --> 01:46:09.640
just my own experience with blending a family. Knowing where

1484
01:46:09.640 --> 01:46:14.280
my son was coming from with his dad and our situation. Also, you

1485
01:46:14.280 --> 01:46:17.240
know, being now I have to be sensitive and understanding to

1486
01:46:17.240 --> 01:46:21.320
the fact that my bonus kids, my two oldest kids are, you know,

1487
01:46:21.320 --> 01:46:25.080
they've experienced trauma. Now they lost their mother. But that

1488
01:46:25.080 --> 01:46:28.160
marriage was not a very healthy marriage. So they saw a lot of

1489
01:46:28.160 --> 01:46:35.120
toxicity, a lot of unhealthy relationship, while like, their

1490
01:46:35.120 --> 01:46:38.120
parents were together. And so and then they saw their mom

1491
01:46:38.320 --> 01:46:43.400
suffering, her health and being sick, and lost her at really

1492
01:46:43.400 --> 01:46:47.680
young ages. My daughter was seven, my son was nine, when

1493
01:46:47.680 --> 01:46:51.720
their mother passed. So you have to be gentle with their

1494
01:46:51.720 --> 01:46:55.480
hearts, too. Because it's not just our love story, our own and

1495
01:46:55.520 --> 01:46:59.480
our spouse, or you know, it's the kids, it's the family, it's

1496
01:46:59.480 --> 01:47:02.920
their love story, too. And so just, you know, continue to pray

1497
01:47:02.920 --> 01:47:07.120
for God to show the right time for that. And, and but you know,

1498
01:47:07.120 --> 01:47:11.000
just know that as you guys continue to progress, that that's

1499
01:47:11.000 --> 01:47:16.400
important that you, you spend more time together in real life,

1500
01:47:16.400 --> 01:47:19.280
because there is going to need you're going to have to move at

1501
01:47:19.280 --> 01:47:24.720
some point. And so you're going to want to kind of navigate that

1502
01:47:24.720 --> 01:47:27.680
first, see what it looks like so that because there's going to be

1503
01:47:27.720 --> 01:47:35.080
there's going to be growing pains. Like there just is. But

1504
01:47:36.040 --> 01:47:39.280
we want, as long as we're coming at it with the healed, healthy

1505
01:47:39.280 --> 01:47:42.760
hearts, where you'll be fine. And you've got this community,

1506
01:47:42.760 --> 01:47:46.840
like, even when you decide to, to shift over, we've got coaches

1507
01:47:46.840 --> 01:47:50.000
over there, there's all sorts of community, there's more people

1508
01:47:50.000 --> 01:47:55.480
over there, even. So you have a lot more support, too. Okay,

1509
01:47:55.960 --> 01:47:59.840
ladies, thank you for sticking around. I promise I will not let

1510
01:47:59.840 --> 01:48:07.080
it go this late next time. But take care, and I will see you

1511
01:48:07.080 --> 01:48:08.360
all next week. Okay.

1512
01:48:11.600 --> 01:48:12.520
Love you girls.