WEBVTT

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Hello, everyone. Welcome. Hi, happy Monday. So glad to be here with you tonight for another

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time of just connecting and hearing what God is saying to us as a community, but ultimately

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for you all to hear what God is saying to you about your heart healing journey. We're

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so glad that you're here with us. If we have any new ladies, you're here for your first

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live session. You've never been here before. Can you put that in the chat for me so we

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can welcome you? We want to kind of just give you a little shout out. Our welcoming committee,

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those that are returning. Welcome back. So glad to see so many of you. Some of you I

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know, man, God's been giving you such breakthrough and I'm so excited for you all. Praying for

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you all. Melissa's first meeting. Welcome, Melissa. Anna's new. Welcome. Leslie Provard

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is new. I hope I said that right. Alexander Radford is new. Awesome. Four new ladies tonight.

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There might be more as more people join. Kate, welcome. Kelsey. Gosh, we're already at six.

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That's awesome. Y'all, our community is growing and it's such an exciting time just to be

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here and to get to journey with all of you. My name's Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master

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heartwork coaches in this community. I do a lot of other stuff as well. I'm on the staff

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for last year's single. It's just such a blessing and an honor to get to be here, as I was saying.

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And so tonight we're going to dive into some content. For those of you that are joining

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for your first time, we're going to do, I'm going to do the content first, and then I'm

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actually going to share your activations. I think right when you come out of breakout

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tonight, just to make sure if anyone needs to log off a little early, they have those,

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but we will do coaching or the content breakouts, activation information, and then group coaching.

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And that way it kind of just helps me also make sure I'm saving enough time for the group

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coaching and not trying to squeeze that activation in and keep y'all here late to hear that.

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So welcome again, for those joining new for the first time, we want to welcome you. Introduction

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information. I want to encourage you all, if you're new or you've even been here for

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a few weeks, if you haven't done your introduction post in the group, in the last year single

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app, under the community tab, we want to encourage you to do that. Introduction post

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would be a picture of you, potentially, hopefully. We'd love to see you. We'd love to meet you.

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Put a face with the name. It could be you doing something you love. It could be your

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favorite picture of yourself. And then tell us a little bit about you. Like what led you

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to come to last year single? Say yes to the program. What is something you're hoping for

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in the program? Everybody's here for a different thing. Most people come in to our program

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for this spirit mate to learn how to heal and move towards their spirit mate. But some

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people come in just for healing and other things. And so we do want to know and recognize

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why you're here and get to know that about you. And then we'd love to know, what are

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some of your favorite things? Are you a mama? You know, all those kind of little fun tidbits.

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And why do we think this is important? Well, it's important in this healing process for

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you, for you to come out of hiding. And you might think, well, I'm not hiding. Well, you

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would be surprised how many people come into this program and never do a post. They don't

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ever speak on a live session. And I'm not putting that down at all. I know everybody's

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in a different place in their life, but we want you to be seen, known and loved. Okay.

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Why does this matter for your future journey? Well, here's the thing, ladies, if you continue

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in our program and you go into the next phase, most of you will probably try to do some online

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dating. If you have a hard time doing an introduction post here and letting us get to know you,

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that's going to be way harder. Okay. So let's practice now. Let's practice being seen and

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known and loved and cheered on and supported. And then on top of that, anything that you have

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questions about, there is never a dumb question you all, I promise. Okay. Ask your questions

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in the group. We do have an ask a coach tab. If you're not sure how to use that, wherever

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your post goes on the page, it'll be fine. We'll see it. And we'll respond to you there. Okay.

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So I don't want you to worry about doing it wrong and not doing a post or any of that stuff. We want

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to hear from you and support you on your journey. If you need prayer, let us know that I had a

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couple of people asking, what do I do with dreams? Where can I put those? You can put those in the

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group. We'll respond to you there about those as well. All right. One other, uh, two other

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housekeeping items tonight for those of you that are struggling. And most of you tonight are on

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zoom live, but some people will watch this replay. We have several people having a hard time with the

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zoom links in the event tab. When you go into, uh, the last year single app, you're going to

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click on the event tab, but hopefully this is best practice. This is my best recommendation

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for all of you that you would set up a free profile on zoom and log into your zoom.

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account before you click on the links in the event tab.

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I have just found that that kind of rules kind of eliminates,

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that's a better word, the kinks for a lot of the people.

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Now I will tell you that certain phone users

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have a harder time.

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We don't know why.

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It has nothing to do with Zoom.

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It has something to do with the ad events,

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you know, what we put the events in.

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We can't fix it.

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They're telling us there's nothing we can do.

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So ladies, if that happens to you

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when you click on the link, the Zoom meeting ID

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and the passcode are all in there for you.

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If you go directly to Zoom and type that in,

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you'll get right into the meeting.

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I know that some people said that they tried that recently

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and it still didn't work.

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I'm not sure what happened.

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Some people, I don't want to get too techie,

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but some of you all have actual pop-up lockers

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on your computers that's not letting you go in there.

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Okay, so you might want to have somebody that's techie

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that lives near you, take a look at your computer

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and help you out with that, all right?

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Okay, last one, replays from Supernatural Saturday

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and our session last night should be under the tab

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for you called replays.

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And let me pray for us and get us started tonight.

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Father, thank you so much for your grace,

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for your goodness.

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God, thank you for bringing us all here tonight

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for such a time as this.

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We thank you for revealings, for healing

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that have already been happening

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before we even came tonight.

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And we thank you for acceleration and healing.

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We thank you that you're the great physician,

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that nothing is too hard for you.

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We thank you that you bring revelation

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and insight from heaven.

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Holy Spirit, we invite you to come.

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We thank you for being here in our midst

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that you would weave all throughout the content,

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through the conversations, that you would come

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and just help us to hear what your spirit is saying,

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help us to receive your truth

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because we know that the truth is what sets us free.

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So we're asking for an upgrade in our understanding,

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an upgrade in our revelation,

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help us to see what we can't see,

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help us those things that are down in our subconscious,

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in our souls deep, Lord, we trust you in the timing,

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but bring those things out of us that are harming us,

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that are causing us to be stuck,

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that are keeping us in cycles,

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repeated cycles that sometimes lead to sin

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or trying to fill the void that only belongs to you.

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So God, we thank you for, yeah, Lord,

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just being a good father for leading us into all truth

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and anointing us for all of our lives and walk and calling

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and leading us deeper into Jesus

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and the revelation that he brought

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and the sacrifice that he made for us

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so that we could be free.

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Lord, we thank you, Jesus, for the victory.

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Help us to step further into victory tonight

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in Jesus' name, amen.

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So tonight we are talking about what is the broken heart?

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And so even though I just prayed, we did this earlier

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and I feel like it's really impactful,

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before we pray, I'm gonna have you all

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put your hands on your hearts

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and say we're gonna do kind of activating your own heart

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because as you pray, you don't have to unmute,

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but you can just kind of pray along with me.

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Father, thank you for opening my heart.

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Help me to receive everything you have for me tonight.

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Yes, Lord, we remove all distraction,

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every lie of the enemy that would even hinder us

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from receiving your truth tonight.

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Help me to take down any do not enter signs

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off of my heart, my spirit, my soul.

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Help me to receive your love in a fresh way.

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Let it fill me up, Lord.

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Fill me up to overflowing into freedom and life

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and hope in Jesus' name, amen.

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Amen, amen.

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So as we start to talk about

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what is the broken heart tonight, ladies,

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we need to just talk about the fact

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that trauma doesn't just hurt us,

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it creates different versions of us.

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And whether you realize it or not,

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some of you have been upset with the Lord

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and feel like God isn't coming through for you.

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You've been praying for a long time

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and you feel like you've been waiting for him

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to bring your Boaz,

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to bring that fulfillment of these promises.

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And some of you have believed the lie

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that God's holding out on you.

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This afternoon, we talked briefly,

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one of our peer coaches shared how

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the lie that she used to believe was God is a trickster.

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And so I wanna kind of bring that to the surface

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right in the beginning tonight,

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that if you believe that God is a trickster,

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it is your counterfeit identity

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and the lies that you believe

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that is causing you to believe those things, okay?

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And so tonight, as we journey through

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what is the broken heart

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and looking at different ways that our broken heart

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lies to us, leads us down roads,

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really fast that actually are not healthy for us.

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It causes us to think things are real that are not real.

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It causes us to ignore red flags

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in relationships of every kind, even friendships.

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Some of y'all are in some really unhealthy friendships.

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let alone romantic things that are unhealthy.

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And some of you, unfortunately,

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might even still be encountering

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very unhealthy things with your parents.

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And that doesn't mean you have to be a young person.

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Some people in this community,

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they're caregivers to their parents

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and their parents are still abusive to them.

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So we wanna really lean into, okay,

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what is your life look like?

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Where is the broken heart leading you further

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into these toxic environments and situations?

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And how can you heal more tonight and in the days to come

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so that you don't continue down those paths?

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The identity that God gave you

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when he originally created you, okay?

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So before trauma, pain, or wounds ever entered your life,

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God created you in his true identity,

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who he originally created you to be.

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That is your true identity.

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Okay, so when we talk about your true identity,

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that's what I'm referring to.

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And so ever since you encounter trauma and wounds and pain

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and started in any way living into your flesh,

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you know, little by little,

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there starts to be this separation

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from the true identity and who we are,

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the counterfeit identities that are leading us

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away from that true identity.

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All right, I'm gonna read something really quick

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from the heartwork book.

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Anytime I ever read, ladies,

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it is from the heartwork book tonight.

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I'm in chapter six.

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If you wanna look it up later,

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don't get your book out now.

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I just want you to hear it.

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I want you to receive what I'm saying.

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We're talking about Beezlebub

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and how the Bible mentions that Beezlebub

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is the Lord of the flies.

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That's a representative name of the enemy.

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It's one of the names he's given.

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And Jackie is talking about flies

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and the purpose that they serve.

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And he's the Lord of the flies.

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So that's what we're talking about when I read this.

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Flies serve a purpose in the decomposition process

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of organic materials.

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What flies do is they find an unhealed wound,

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a sore or someplace of decomposition,

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and they lay their eggs inside of that place, okay?

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So if the enemy is the Lord of the flies,

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he's always looking for places that he can sow his eggs,

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his lies into your sore places,

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into the open unhealed wounds

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that are still festering in your soul,

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whether you realize they're there or not.

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They do this so that when the eggs hatch,

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the larvae will have an unlimited food source.

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So that's basically saying the enemy

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will have an unlimited supply

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because that wound is sitting in there, okay?

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These unhealed heart wounds, traumas, and rejections

242
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become an ideal place for the enemy to sow these seeds

243
00:12:43.080 --> 00:12:45.840
that are lies because our hearts are fertile wounds,

244
00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:46.680
remember?

245
00:12:46.680 --> 00:12:48.900
So everything that goes into our hearts

246
00:12:48.900 --> 00:12:51.260
is going to get reproduced, whether it's good,

247
00:12:51.260 --> 00:12:52.940
whether it's unhealthy things,

248
00:12:52.940 --> 00:12:54.580
anything that goes into your heart

249
00:12:54.580 --> 00:12:57.060
is going to be reproduced.

250
00:12:57.060 --> 00:12:58.260
Okay, I'm gonna keep going.

251
00:12:58.260 --> 00:13:00.900
These lies might not become evident immediately.

252
00:13:00.900 --> 00:13:02.380
In fact, sometimes they actually

253
00:13:02.380 --> 00:13:04.540
don't become evident immediately.

254
00:13:04.540 --> 00:13:06.120
These seeds are, well, they're seeds.

255
00:13:06.120 --> 00:13:08.580
If you think about a farmer that goes out,

256
00:13:08.580 --> 00:13:10.180
and I'm kind of going off here for a minute,

257
00:13:10.180 --> 00:13:12.880
but a farmer that goes out and sow seeds,

258
00:13:12.880 --> 00:13:16.260
well, a lot of times it's many, many, many, many months

259
00:13:16.260 --> 00:13:18.740
before those seeds come to harvest

260
00:13:18.740 --> 00:13:20.820
and are ripe for harvest and all of that.

261
00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:22.180
So I want you to think about this.

262
00:13:22.180 --> 00:13:24.940
Sometimes the enemy has sown seeds and lies

263
00:13:24.940 --> 00:13:28.900
in your life years ago that are now being lived out

264
00:13:28.900 --> 00:13:30.720
in your life today, okay?

265
00:13:31.660 --> 00:13:35.340
So it can take years for these to mature in someone's life.

266
00:13:35.340 --> 00:13:38.180
And when they do mature, this is when the form,

267
00:13:38.180 --> 00:13:42.100
the fully formed false identities start to appear.

268
00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:44.860
And what we call these false identities in this community

269
00:13:44.860 --> 00:13:47.540
is a fragmented heart, okay?

270
00:13:47.540 --> 00:13:50.060
So we're not saying everybody's walking around bipolar.

271
00:13:50.060 --> 00:13:51.340
That's not what we're saying.

272
00:13:51.340 --> 00:13:53.500
We're saying that a lot of people

273
00:13:53.500 --> 00:13:55.860
have these fragmented, broken hearts,

274
00:13:55.860 --> 00:13:59.740
and they're living into those aspects of themselves

275
00:13:59.740 --> 00:14:03.320
which create these counterfeit identities, all right?

276
00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:04.980
So I'm gonna give you an example,

277
00:14:04.980 --> 00:14:05.940
and this is from the book.

278
00:14:05.940 --> 00:14:07.980
For instance, say your parents got a divorce

279
00:14:07.980 --> 00:14:09.380
when you were very young,

280
00:14:09.380 --> 00:14:11.900
or perhaps they never married at all.

281
00:14:12.740 --> 00:14:14.120
Your father left the household

282
00:14:14.120 --> 00:14:17.020
and abandoned his responsibility towards you.

283
00:14:17.060 --> 00:14:20.180
Keep in mind, abandonment doesn't have to be physical.

284
00:14:20.180 --> 00:14:23.900
It can also be emotional, spiritual, or financial.

285
00:14:23.900 --> 00:14:26.020
While that would be a terrible thing to happen to you,

286
00:14:26.020 --> 00:14:29.700
the trauma doesn't even have to happen to you personally.

287
00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:33.540
It might've been to your grandpa or your great-grandpa

288
00:14:33.540 --> 00:14:35.720
that abandoned his family.

289
00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:36.860
So basically it's just saying

290
00:14:36.860 --> 00:14:38.740
it might not have just been your dad.

291
00:14:38.740 --> 00:14:40.900
Maybe it was your grandpa or your great-grandpa,

292
00:14:40.900 --> 00:14:42.700
and then you're living out the effects

293
00:14:42.700 --> 00:14:44.060
of that in your life today.

294
00:14:45.060 --> 00:14:47.860
But because it affected your mother or father,

295
00:14:47.860 --> 00:14:52.860
they may have unconsciously passed those lies down to you.

296
00:14:52.980 --> 00:14:57.580
This is how we inherit emotional debt

297
00:14:57.580 --> 00:14:59.180
and heart wounds from our families.

298
00:14:59.180 --> 00:15:00.020
So some of you.

299
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.740
So not only are you battling your own heart wounds,

300
00:15:03.740 --> 00:15:07.360
but you're battling generational heart wounds

301
00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:10.920
and inherited emotional debt or trauma.

302
00:15:10.920 --> 00:15:12.760
Whether it's a firsthand trauma or not,

303
00:15:12.760 --> 00:15:15.240
the event itself is not going to be the thing

304
00:15:15.240 --> 00:15:17.960
that keeps you from having a good life.

305
00:15:17.960 --> 00:15:22.240
It's the lies you believe as a result of the trauma.

306
00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:25.560
Ladies, the lies we believe as a result of the trauma

307
00:15:25.560 --> 00:15:27.720
and the wounds we go through are the things

308
00:15:27.760 --> 00:15:30.600
that will keep us from having a good life.

309
00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.160
So we're gonna do an assessment of our hearts tonight

310
00:15:33.160 --> 00:15:36.120
a little bit, and I want you to even be thinking about

311
00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:38.520
as we do this, what lies are surfacing,

312
00:15:38.520 --> 00:15:40.320
and I want you to write those down.

313
00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:41.800
Whether you have a pen and paper

314
00:15:41.800 --> 00:15:43.300
or you put them in your phone,

315
00:15:43.300 --> 00:15:44.960
because I want them to be fresh.

316
00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:47.160
And I want, if you have an image, a memory,

317
00:15:47.160 --> 00:15:49.960
anything that comes up while I'm sharing tonight,

318
00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:51.080
I want you to write those down

319
00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:52.920
because those are things that you need to spend

320
00:15:52.920 --> 00:15:55.600
some time with, not only tonight,

321
00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:57.400
but after tonight with the Lord,

322
00:15:57.400 --> 00:15:59.560
asking him for more revealing, for healing.

323
00:16:00.760 --> 00:16:04.520
What we believe about ourselves, we become.

324
00:16:06.160 --> 00:16:10.220
What you believe about yourself, you become.

325
00:16:10.220 --> 00:16:13.120
So how is what you believe about yourself

326
00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:18.080
leading you into a place that tells you constantly,

327
00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:21.560
some of you, I know here on a regular basis,

328
00:16:21.560 --> 00:16:24.280
like, yeah, you're never gonna get married.

329
00:16:24.280 --> 00:16:26.160
This is never gonna work out for you.

330
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:29.420
Well, we believe what we become.

331
00:16:32.040 --> 00:16:35.040
Okay, or we become what we believe, I said that backwards.

332
00:16:35.040 --> 00:16:38.360
So if we're becoming that person

333
00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:40.720
that is constantly in the same cycle,

334
00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.440
same cycle, always alone, always alone, always alone,

335
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:46.120
well, it started in our belief system.

336
00:16:47.920 --> 00:16:50.160
Okay, all right, so we're gonna start

337
00:16:50.160 --> 00:16:52.200
to unpack this a little bit more.

338
00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:53.880
Our broken heart is three,

339
00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:56.040
we kind of put it into three categories,

340
00:16:56.040 --> 00:17:00.260
the liar, the puzzle, and the pretender.

341
00:17:01.120 --> 00:17:02.520
The liar is very simple.

342
00:17:02.520 --> 00:17:04.480
It means that your heart, unfortunately,

343
00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:08.319
a lot of us have a broken heart that is full of lies.

344
00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:10.540
Maybe we've never had an opportunity

345
00:17:10.540 --> 00:17:12.579
to have someone help us unpack the lies.

346
00:17:12.579 --> 00:17:13.920
And here's the other thing.

347
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:17.440
Some of you all have gone through extensive healing

348
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:21.319
and extensive counseling, but there's still lies

349
00:17:21.319 --> 00:17:23.900
under the surface in the subconscious area

350
00:17:23.900 --> 00:17:26.560
that you haven't been able to identify.

351
00:17:26.560 --> 00:17:29.720
Here's one of the key differences in our program,

352
00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:31.560
and I'm not saying there's not other good programs

353
00:17:31.560 --> 00:17:33.640
out there, but, or that counselors aren't good

354
00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:34.480
or any of that.

355
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:36.680
I think all those things are great, okay?

356
00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:39.960
But there are a lot of times people get their shovels out

357
00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:42.600
and they start digging, digging for answers,

358
00:17:42.600 --> 00:17:44.920
asking, you know, looking for the thing themselves,

359
00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:47.680
where in our program, we're very big on,

360
00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:52.120
okay, I want you to ask the Lord to reveal the root.

361
00:17:52.120 --> 00:17:54.980
Ask the Lord to reveal this area for healing,

362
00:17:54.980 --> 00:17:56.800
because the Lord, he knows you better

363
00:17:56.800 --> 00:17:58.560
than you know yourself.

364
00:17:58.560 --> 00:18:01.380
He is such a good dot connector.

365
00:18:01.380 --> 00:18:04.200
So if you will rely on him and trust him,

366
00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:07.440
he will lead you to greater waters

367
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:09.480
than you've ever lived in in your entire life.

368
00:18:09.480 --> 00:18:13.200
He will help you heal and mend and grow,

369
00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:15.960
and you'll experience redemption and reconciliation

370
00:18:15.960 --> 00:18:20.040
in your life in ways you can't even imagine, okay?

371
00:18:20.040 --> 00:18:23.020
When it's full of lies, I want you to hear the process

372
00:18:23.020 --> 00:18:24.440
that we can tend to go through.

373
00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:27.360
This is also in chapter six of the book.

374
00:18:27.360 --> 00:18:29.240
This is called the process.

375
00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:32.200
Step one, first, we believe the lie.

376
00:18:33.320 --> 00:18:35.080
So step one is we believe the lie.

377
00:18:35.080 --> 00:18:38.200
We go through trauma or a wound, and at that moment,

378
00:18:38.200 --> 00:18:39.760
the enemy, what I called it today,

379
00:18:39.760 --> 00:18:41.640
is he's serving it up on a platter.

380
00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:44.120
He's like, here you go, here's this lie.

381
00:18:44.120 --> 00:18:45.960
Whether you realize he's doing that or not,

382
00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:48.640
that's what he's doing, and we have a choice

383
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:51.600
whether or not we're going to believe that lie.

384
00:18:51.600 --> 00:18:55.040
Tonight, the example in the book is I'm abandoned.

385
00:18:56.200 --> 00:18:59.120
Some of you, that is the lie that you've been believing.

386
00:18:59.120 --> 00:19:00.780
For others, it's a different lie,

387
00:19:00.780 --> 00:19:03.680
but either way, the enemy served it,

388
00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:06.360
and for most of us, we believed him,

389
00:19:06.360 --> 00:19:08.640
and we started partnering with that lie.

390
00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:09.880
I am abandoned.

391
00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:10.880
I'm alone.

392
00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:12.120
Nobody loves me.

393
00:19:12.120 --> 00:19:14.480
Nobody comes through for me, and oftentimes,

394
00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:17.880
that's where number two of the process comes into play.

395
00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:21.080
We speak the lie, so we believe the lie.

396
00:19:21.080 --> 00:19:23.600
Then we speak the lie, and I want to say this.

397
00:19:23.600 --> 00:19:25.100
I was talking about this this afternoon.

398
00:19:25.100 --> 00:19:28.080
It's not, yes, it is about speaking it out of your mouth,

399
00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:31.200
okay, but a lot of you ruminate.

400
00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:32.040
You think on it.

401
00:19:32.040 --> 00:19:32.860
You think on it.

402
00:19:32.860 --> 00:19:33.700
You think on it.

403
00:19:33.700 --> 00:19:34.520
You think on it.

404
00:19:34.520 --> 00:19:37.760
That is still impacting everything that you're doing.

405
00:19:37.760 --> 00:19:39.720
Out of the overflow of the heart,

406
00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:42.000
which is connected to your mind,

407
00:19:42.840 --> 00:19:43.680
the mouth speaks.

408
00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:45.720
Some of you just haven't spoken it out verbally to somebody,

409
00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:47.880
but you're thinking on it quite a bit.

410
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:51.000
The other thing is maybe you're texting it to someone.

411
00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:54.900
Texting in our world is speaking, you all.

412
00:19:54.900 --> 00:19:56.360
It's just using your fingers

413
00:19:56.360 --> 00:19:58.320
to digitally put it out there somewhere.

414
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.160
I wanna also say that from my perspective,

415
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:07.300
our actions speak volumes, don't they?

416
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:10.200
We don't think of it a lot like that.

417
00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:12.240
Like if we're thinking about, oh, we just,

418
00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:15.340
we speak the lie, well, your actions,

419
00:20:15.340 --> 00:20:18.880
we like literally teach people in this community,

420
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:21.440
don't just look at, listen to what they're saying.

421
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:23.320
What is their fruit telling you?

422
00:20:23.320 --> 00:20:25.760
We're trying to teach you all to look for the fruit.

423
00:20:25.760 --> 00:20:28.020
Healthy fruit is what we wanna look for.

424
00:20:28.100 --> 00:20:30.660
Well, same thing in our life.

425
00:20:30.660 --> 00:20:35.620
If we are not living and making healthy actions and choices,

426
00:20:35.620 --> 00:20:40.020
that we are speaking something to everybody, okay?

427
00:20:40.020 --> 00:20:41.740
Including ourselves.

428
00:20:41.740 --> 00:20:43.900
All right, so number one, we believe the lie.

429
00:20:43.900 --> 00:20:45.620
Number two, we speak the lie and here,

430
00:20:45.620 --> 00:20:48.740
so the lie that we believed was I'm abandoned

431
00:20:48.740 --> 00:20:51.500
in the example, the lie that we spoke

432
00:20:51.500 --> 00:20:55.380
is nobody is ever there for me, okay?

433
00:20:55.380 --> 00:20:57.580
See how it's building as it's going?

434
00:20:57.580 --> 00:20:59.420
And then step three of the process,

435
00:20:59.420 --> 00:21:02.200
finally, we become the lie.

436
00:21:04.580 --> 00:21:07.380
Behavior towards isolation and withdrawal from others

437
00:21:07.380 --> 00:21:10.740
creates a false sense of abandonment.

438
00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:13.660
That's how we become the lie, abandonment.

439
00:21:13.660 --> 00:21:16.460
We tell ourselves that people don't love us,

440
00:21:16.460 --> 00:21:19.880
that we never fit, nobody accepts us,

441
00:21:21.700 --> 00:21:23.860
whatever, these women always make fun of me.

442
00:21:23.860 --> 00:21:26.860
Whatever your lie is that you've been believing,

443
00:21:26.860 --> 00:21:28.500
if you partner with that

444
00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:31.600
and you already believe the lie that you're abandoned,

445
00:21:31.600 --> 00:21:34.340
you are going to physically start doing things

446
00:21:34.340 --> 00:21:36.800
to pull away from people.

447
00:21:36.800 --> 00:21:39.460
So if that is you in any way, shape or form,

448
00:21:39.460 --> 00:21:43.260
when even when you want to go towards community,

449
00:21:43.260 --> 00:21:46.380
something in you, you keep pulling away,

450
00:21:46.380 --> 00:21:49.420
it's probably because you believe the lie at some point

451
00:21:49.420 --> 00:21:54.220
that you are abandoned, neglected and nobody loves you, okay?

452
00:21:55.220 --> 00:21:58.460
And some of you, there are other lies, like I said,

453
00:21:58.460 --> 00:22:01.220
we won't go into all this tonight, but that is the liar.

454
00:22:01.220 --> 00:22:02.680
The broken heart is a liar.

455
00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:04.600
It tells us things that are not true.

456
00:22:04.600 --> 00:22:07.400
The puzzle aspect, it's really messed up.

457
00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:09.220
It says we want things that we don't really want.

458
00:22:09.220 --> 00:22:11.020
Maybe it's telling us we want to eat food

459
00:22:11.020 --> 00:22:14.060
when we're sad and lonely, when we're not even hungry.

460
00:22:14.060 --> 00:22:15.660
Maybe it's drinking too much.

461
00:22:15.660 --> 00:22:19.260
Maybe it's having sex or doing things outside of marriage

462
00:22:19.260 --> 00:22:22.740
regarding physical, lustful type of things

463
00:22:23.740 --> 00:22:25.860
where our flesh is saying, do this, do this.

464
00:22:25.860 --> 00:22:28.580
But then after we do it, we feel guilt, shame,

465
00:22:28.580 --> 00:22:30.620
condemnation, all these things.

466
00:22:30.620 --> 00:22:35.100
Maybe it is we're angry, you know, and we're just,

467
00:22:35.100 --> 00:22:37.780
ah, we gotta let them know our minds.

468
00:22:37.780 --> 00:22:41.140
And then after it's over, man, again, that shame,

469
00:22:41.140 --> 00:22:42.220
that guilt and condemnation,

470
00:22:42.220 --> 00:22:45.700
because it really isn't what we wanted.

471
00:22:45.700 --> 00:22:49.700
A lot of times actually what we want is to feel loved.

472
00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:52.780
And we want that person to say they're sorry

473
00:22:52.780 --> 00:22:53.980
for something that they did.

474
00:22:53.980 --> 00:22:55.300
And maybe that's not why we're angry,

475
00:22:55.300 --> 00:22:57.340
but some of us, that is why we're angry.

476
00:22:58.540 --> 00:23:01.100
But the things that we keep doing,

477
00:23:01.100 --> 00:23:03.580
this puzzle piece of our broken heart,

478
00:23:03.580 --> 00:23:05.720
it's not leading to good places.

479
00:23:06.620 --> 00:23:08.940
The heart is also a pretender.

480
00:23:08.940 --> 00:23:12.020
The pretender often shows up in multiple ways.

481
00:23:12.020 --> 00:23:15.860
Mask, it will tell us we want expensive things.

482
00:23:15.860 --> 00:23:18.900
Status, when we don't really want them,

483
00:23:18.900 --> 00:23:21.580
it's gonna tell us like, oh, I'm okay.

484
00:23:21.580 --> 00:23:22.820
I don't need anybody's help.

485
00:23:22.820 --> 00:23:24.100
I'm good.

486
00:23:24.100 --> 00:23:25.780
I've got this.

487
00:23:25.780 --> 00:23:29.020
When you don't really have it.

488
00:23:29.020 --> 00:23:30.980
We'll even have people come in this community

489
00:23:30.980 --> 00:23:33.940
and say they want coaching and say they want help.

490
00:23:33.940 --> 00:23:35.420
And then when we try to coach them,

491
00:23:35.420 --> 00:23:37.440
they'll tell us they're good.

492
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:39.060
Y'all, that's a mask.

493
00:23:39.060 --> 00:23:41.440
That's the pretender showing back up,

494
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:44.220
saying and believing we've got to have it all together

495
00:23:44.220 --> 00:23:48.300
and convey to other people, I don't need any help.

496
00:23:48.300 --> 00:23:50.420
Well, that's coming from somewhere.

497
00:23:50.420 --> 00:23:53.820
And the pretender also will basically invite you

498
00:23:53.820 --> 00:23:57.120
on a regular basis to live below your true identity.

499
00:23:58.620 --> 00:24:00.860
I'm gonna give you some examples of masks tonight.

500
00:24:00.860 --> 00:24:02.540
I wanna go into those just a little bit

501
00:24:02.540 --> 00:24:04.460
to give you some more ideas

502
00:24:04.460 --> 00:24:07.700
of how this might look and sound in your life.

503
00:24:07.700 --> 00:24:08.900
And when I say this,

504
00:24:10.060 --> 00:24:13.820
please know I am very big on you all being successful,

505
00:24:13.820 --> 00:24:15.740
strong, amazing women.

506
00:24:16.740 --> 00:24:18.740
But I'm just giving you examples

507
00:24:18.740 --> 00:24:21.380
of how the mask can show up.

508
00:24:21.380 --> 00:24:25.060
Boss babe, we have in our society,

509
00:24:25.060 --> 00:24:28.100
women have become very strong and that's not a bad thing,

510
00:24:28.100 --> 00:24:30.160
but now it's kind of gotten out of balance

511
00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:32.580
where women don't think they need men

512
00:24:34.300 --> 00:24:36.120
because we got this.

513
00:24:37.260 --> 00:24:39.540
And y'all, I've had to fight that stuff myself too

514
00:24:39.540 --> 00:24:40.640
over the years.

515
00:24:42.220 --> 00:24:43.180
Ryan wants to help me.

516
00:24:43.180 --> 00:24:44.380
I tell this story all the time.

517
00:24:44.380 --> 00:24:47.020
He wants to help me carry my food box out of the restaurant.

518
00:24:47.020 --> 00:24:50.780
Like it bugs him when I don't let him carry my food box.

519
00:24:50.780 --> 00:24:52.580
And, you know, it feels silly to me

520
00:24:52.580 --> 00:24:54.540
because I'm like, it's just my food.

521
00:24:54.540 --> 00:24:55.780
Like I'll carry this.

522
00:24:55.780 --> 00:24:58.900
But he, it's that shorter side of men.

523
00:24:58.900 --> 00:25:00.100
They wanna do things.

524
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.240
things to help us even when we don't need help.

525
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:05.480
But if we keep projecting, I've got this,

526
00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:08.280
I'm a boss, babe, I don't need you.

527
00:25:08.280 --> 00:25:10.020
Well, guess what, ladies?

528
00:25:10.020 --> 00:25:11.680
Guys sense that.

529
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:16.600
And they're like, okay, see you later, okay?

530
00:25:16.600 --> 00:25:20.960
We have to open up and we can be successful

531
00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:22.120
and we can be excellent,

532
00:25:22.120 --> 00:25:26.220
but we don't have to always have that mask up, okay?

533
00:25:27.180 --> 00:25:29.940
Maybe it's having to be the best parent.

534
00:25:31.140 --> 00:25:33.420
Maybe being the perfect employee,

535
00:25:33.420 --> 00:25:35.540
so afraid for anyone even to know

536
00:25:35.540 --> 00:25:37.020
that you ever make a mistake

537
00:25:37.020 --> 00:25:40.340
and always trying to hide a mistake if you make a mistake.

538
00:25:40.340 --> 00:25:41.740
Hiding emotions.

539
00:25:42.740 --> 00:25:44.620
Maybe telling people I'm good

540
00:25:44.620 --> 00:25:48.300
when on the inside you're crying, you're sad,

541
00:25:48.300 --> 00:25:49.820
you're broken, but you just feel like

542
00:25:49.820 --> 00:25:52.260
you can't even let anybody know

543
00:25:52.260 --> 00:25:54.520
that's how you really feel.

544
00:25:54.520 --> 00:25:55.360
I don't know about you all,

545
00:25:55.360 --> 00:25:57.120
but what's coming up in my spirit right now too

546
00:25:57.120 --> 00:25:59.280
is in the church itself,

547
00:25:59.280 --> 00:26:01.680
I think this happens more than any other place.

548
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:07.480
Because we are told, well, you just gotta have faith.

549
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:08.680
You just gotta believe.

550
00:26:09.720 --> 00:26:11.380
You just gotta believe this thing's gonna change.

551
00:26:11.380 --> 00:26:16.380
Well, okay, yeah, but faith with works.

552
00:26:17.720 --> 00:26:18.760
Action.

553
00:26:18.760 --> 00:26:20.720
What's the action happening in this situation

554
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:22.660
in both people, in both parties?

555
00:26:23.100 --> 00:26:24.580
You know?

556
00:26:24.580 --> 00:26:25.780
We have some people right now,

557
00:26:25.780 --> 00:26:28.020
I was just coaching last week.

558
00:26:28.020 --> 00:26:31.780
This one lady, man, sad story.

559
00:26:31.780 --> 00:26:34.660
And no shame or condemnation.

560
00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:35.980
I'm not saying this in a bad way,

561
00:26:35.980 --> 00:26:40.100
but she got herself into a really tough situation.

562
00:26:40.100 --> 00:26:42.200
Her parents were living with her in her house,

563
00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:44.400
but they just really struggled financially.

564
00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:45.540
She never really learned,

565
00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:48.020
and she didn't maybe have access.

566
00:26:48.020 --> 00:26:49.880
Her parents paid for things for many years.

567
00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:52.220
And so finally, when they needed her,

568
00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:56.700
she didn't have the tools to know what to do financially.

569
00:26:56.700 --> 00:27:00.540
And so ended up losing her home and all this stuff.

570
00:27:00.540 --> 00:27:02.800
But do you wanna know who she blamed?

571
00:27:04.580 --> 00:27:07.340
Still, even today, she's still processing this.

572
00:27:07.340 --> 00:27:11.520
She blames God for that house, for that house loss.

573
00:27:13.340 --> 00:27:15.680
And a lot of us do that in different ways.

574
00:27:16.700 --> 00:27:18.220
And one of the things I had to coach her through

575
00:27:18.220 --> 00:27:19.060
was really hard.

576
00:27:19.060 --> 00:27:20.420
You know, I try to be real sensitive

577
00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:22.900
because I never want anyone to be hurt.

578
00:27:22.900 --> 00:27:25.460
But y'all, I'm not doing anybody any good

579
00:27:25.460 --> 00:27:27.920
if I also don't bring truth.

580
00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:31.260
And the truth is, is we have to own our side of the street.

581
00:27:33.240 --> 00:27:36.140
We have to be willing to say, wait a minute,

582
00:27:36.140 --> 00:27:39.600
did I take any financial classes to grow?

583
00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:41.780
Did I get any help?

584
00:27:41.780 --> 00:27:45.940
Why is it just God that has to do all the work?

585
00:27:45.940 --> 00:27:47.340
Okay?

586
00:27:47.340 --> 00:27:48.780
All right, I'm gonna keep moving.

587
00:27:48.780 --> 00:27:50.240
I'm meddling a little bit.

588
00:27:51.180 --> 00:27:53.540
So are you good, really?

589
00:27:53.540 --> 00:27:55.760
Are you hiding emotions?

590
00:27:55.760 --> 00:27:58.040
Are you hiding insecurities?

591
00:27:58.040 --> 00:28:00.100
One of the ways I wrote down that this can show up

592
00:28:00.100 --> 00:28:03.040
in a lot of our lives is overcompensating.

593
00:28:05.100 --> 00:28:08.180
So maybe you're overcompensating for an insecurity you have.

594
00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:12.580
And then when you get around other people, they sense that.

595
00:28:12.580 --> 00:28:13.900
And they might even be saying to you,

596
00:28:13.900 --> 00:28:15.820
hey, like, why are you doing that?

597
00:28:15.820 --> 00:28:17.780
Why are you, like, even you make a mistake

598
00:28:17.780 --> 00:28:18.620
and you cover it up?

599
00:28:18.620 --> 00:28:22.340
Like, you're just so afraid for anybody to even know

600
00:28:22.340 --> 00:28:23.700
that you've made a mistake.

601
00:28:23.700 --> 00:28:27.220
And I wrote down also people-pleasing,

602
00:28:27.220 --> 00:28:29.780
downplaying your intelligence.

603
00:28:29.780 --> 00:28:32.380
Maybe you're really smart and you get around certain people

604
00:28:32.380 --> 00:28:35.320
and for whatever reason, you like dumb yourself down.

605
00:28:36.300 --> 00:28:39.260
And that can even happen spiritually, ladies, okay?

606
00:28:39.260 --> 00:28:40.860
And the one thing I've, I said this,

607
00:28:40.860 --> 00:28:43.820
the caveat to that is we also have the flip side of that

608
00:28:43.820 --> 00:28:48.560
where some people, it's not just that they're spiritual,

609
00:28:48.560 --> 00:28:50.460
they don't realize subconsciously

610
00:28:50.460 --> 00:28:52.660
they've picked up religious belief systems

611
00:28:52.660 --> 00:28:54.780
and thought patterns along the way.

612
00:28:54.780 --> 00:28:57.100
And they're so religious

613
00:28:57.100 --> 00:28:59.380
that they've got this huge long list

614
00:28:59.380 --> 00:29:00.660
of how the guys have to be.

615
00:29:00.660 --> 00:29:01.860
And they got to pray this long

616
00:29:01.860 --> 00:29:04.220
and they got to do devotions every day with me.

617
00:29:04.220 --> 00:29:07.060
And they got to, and if they don't do these things,

618
00:29:07.060 --> 00:29:08.100
guys aren't spiritual.

619
00:29:08.100 --> 00:29:11.340
That's how, at least from my experience,

620
00:29:11.420 --> 00:29:14.580
transparent, 100%, that used to be me

621
00:29:17.100 --> 00:29:19.320
because that's what I was taught.

622
00:29:22.260 --> 00:29:24.580
My husband totally spends different,

623
00:29:24.580 --> 00:29:25.900
the way he spends time with the Lord

624
00:29:25.900 --> 00:29:28.020
is totally different than me.

625
00:29:28.020 --> 00:29:30.140
But I know genuinely, he's a pastor,

626
00:29:30.140 --> 00:29:32.180
he's studying the word all the time, you all.

627
00:29:32.180 --> 00:29:34.860
He genuinely is very close to the Lord.

628
00:29:34.860 --> 00:29:37.500
He has amazing fruit in his life.

629
00:29:37.500 --> 00:29:39.580
And if I had kept my checklist

630
00:29:39.620 --> 00:29:41.860
of, oh, he's got to do devotions every single day

631
00:29:41.860 --> 00:29:44.700
or he doesn't love me and he doesn't love the Lord.

632
00:29:44.700 --> 00:29:47.460
And if I would have never let that go,

633
00:29:47.460 --> 00:29:49.180
I could have missed out on him.

634
00:29:50.140 --> 00:29:50.980
Praise the Lord.

635
00:29:50.980 --> 00:29:54.100
I got healed of that stuff before he came along.

636
00:29:54.100 --> 00:29:54.920
Praise Jesus.

637
00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:56.540
I'm so glad for that.

638
00:29:56.540 --> 00:29:59.140
But some of you, that's where you're at right now.

639
00:29:59.140 --> 00:30:00.260
And some of that...

640
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.640
that came out of hurt and woundedness towards guys and but

641
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:06.480
you don't realize the religious thoughts have come in those

642
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:09.200
lies have come in and partnered with the lies that you believe

643
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:12.200
about men. And now you got some strongholds hanging out in

644
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:17.040
there. All right. Um, the other thing, the last thing I want to

645
00:30:17.040 --> 00:30:21.440
mention kind of going back to the overcompensating. I shared

646
00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:24.040
this example earlier, and I think it's helpful. So I decided

647
00:30:24.040 --> 00:30:28.040
to share it again tonight. Years ago, when I was dating my

648
00:30:28.040 --> 00:30:30.880
spiritual daughter's dad, I was with him for six years, you all

649
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:34.760
too long, way, way too long, went through a lot of betrayal

650
00:30:34.760 --> 00:30:37.600
in that relationship. There was a lot of abuse and a lot of

651
00:30:37.600 --> 00:30:41.640
mistreatment. But I chose to stay. Unfortunately, I wasn't

652
00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:45.080
healthy enough to leave that relationship for a long time.

653
00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:50.280
Until I was, praise the Lord. But the reason I bring it up

654
00:30:50.280 --> 00:30:54.760
tonight is when I was kind of newer and dating him. One night

655
00:30:54.760 --> 00:30:57.400
we went to this bar and grill, he wanted to introduce me to his

656
00:30:57.400 --> 00:31:01.480
friends. I was really nervous. And at the time, I still thought

657
00:31:01.480 --> 00:31:04.120
he was a good catch you all. Okay, so keep that in mind. I

658
00:31:04.120 --> 00:31:06.920
didn't know what I knew all the years later, thought he was a

659
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:10.760
good catch, wanted to impress him, was meeting his friends,

660
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:15.280
couple of them came and this one guy in particular, I wasn't real

661
00:31:15.280 --> 00:31:18.680
impressed with him. I mean, I didn't really like any of them

662
00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:23.120
that much, but the one guy in particular, and here's why he

663
00:31:23.120 --> 00:31:26.040
was talking about this woman that he had dated on and off and

664
00:31:26.040 --> 00:31:28.560
they were back together. But then he was like talking real

665
00:31:28.560 --> 00:31:31.720
negative about her. And then he's like checking out the other

666
00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:38.000
women at the bar. And then the next thing he and the guys go

667
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:40.480
out on the dance floor, and he's dancing with other women. And,

668
00:31:40.760 --> 00:31:44.520
and I'm sitting there with the guy I'm dating girl's dad. And

669
00:31:44.520 --> 00:31:49.720
he thinks it's great. And I was like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I went

670
00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:55.160
along with it, you all. But on the inside, I thought it was

671
00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:59.400
horrible. And I felt so bad for that woman, even though I'd

672
00:31:59.400 --> 00:32:03.800
never met her before. But you want to know what I did? I ended

673
00:32:03.800 --> 00:32:06.360
up going out on the dance floor and dancing with all of them.

674
00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:10.920
Not with that guy, but like with my boyfriend, but with all of

675
00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:16.040
them in the group. So in a sense, I was agreeing with what

676
00:32:16.040 --> 00:32:20.600
was going on there. Right? Sometimes we're in situations

677
00:32:20.600 --> 00:32:24.040
now I think part of that not to excuse myself is I didn't know

678
00:32:24.040 --> 00:32:28.960
what to do really. And I wanted to be the cool girlfriend. That

679
00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:31.520
is literally what I had in my mind. I just want to be cool. I

680
00:32:31.520 --> 00:32:34.040
just want them to think I'm cool. So I'm just gonna, I'm

681
00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:38.800
just gonna like deal with this, you know. And I did talk to him

682
00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:42.120
tried to talk to him after that. But that was never a

683
00:32:42.120 --> 00:32:44.720
conversation that was ever going to go anywhere ended up being an

684
00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:47.480
argument and all the things but I'm saying it to you all

685
00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:53.320
tonight because some of you want to be the cool girlfriend.

686
00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:58.320
And it's leading you into bad situations and you're denying

687
00:32:58.360 --> 00:33:02.040
actual true values and feelings that you have. And I'm not

688
00:33:02.040 --> 00:33:05.200
saying we should be rigid or any of those things, but we need to

689
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:09.440
be real with ourselves. If we can't actually be honest with

690
00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:12.920
ourselves about our values about what we believe about what we

691
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:16.280
feel about something, we're going to have a really hard time

692
00:33:16.280 --> 00:33:21.240
doing that inside of a relationship. Okay, so good time

693
00:33:21.520 --> 00:33:24.280
during heart work for you to figure out who you are more and

694
00:33:24.280 --> 00:33:26.240
more. And we're going to talk about that a little bit later

695
00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:29.560
tonight as well. But I do have some scriptures for you.

696
00:33:30.120 --> 00:33:34.080
Jeremiah 17, nine says this, the heart is deceitful, above all

697
00:33:34.080 --> 00:33:40.240
things and desperately wicked, who can know it. Proverbs 423.

698
00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:44.400
This is the ESV version says keep your heart with all

699
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:51.120
vigilance for from it flows the springs of life. As you're

700
00:33:51.120 --> 00:33:53.760
thinking about those scriptures, I want you to also be thinking

701
00:33:53.800 --> 00:33:56.560
about some of these lies that can tend to show up in your

702
00:33:56.560 --> 00:33:59.720
life. Now this is a list I made tonight for a purpose and I'll

703
00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:03.040
tell you why here in a little bit. You might have other lies

704
00:34:03.040 --> 00:34:05.600
that show up just like the one I read earlier, you might not

705
00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:09.639
feel that abandonment, maybe yours is something else. So you

706
00:34:09.639 --> 00:34:12.199
might align with these you might not but if it's something else,

707
00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:14.679
just draw again, jot down whatever's coming up for you.

708
00:34:14.719 --> 00:34:19.719
But here are some of the ones I wrote down. Lie number one, you

709
00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:24.920
are insignificant. The definition here of insignificant

710
00:34:24.920 --> 00:34:29.000
is not significant, lacking meaning, not worth considering

711
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:32.920
unimportant. Have you ever had anyone tell you that you

712
00:34:32.920 --> 00:34:39.080
weren't important? Which now feeds into lie number two, you

713
00:34:39.080 --> 00:34:45.600
don't matter. Which feeds into line number three, you should be

714
00:34:45.600 --> 00:34:53.440
seen and not heard. Lie number four, you're not enough. Lie

715
00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:59.520
number five, your opinion doesn't matter, which partners

716
00:34:59.520 --> 00:35:00.200
way back

717
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.440
with, you should be seen and not heard. A lot of people also,

718
00:35:04.480 --> 00:35:07.440
you don't matter all of that. There's a lot of people that

719
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:10.320
struggle to even believe that their voice matters, and they

720
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:12.600
are afraid to come in and post in the group because they've

721
00:35:12.600 --> 00:35:16.720
been taught for so long that nobody wants to hear what you

722
00:35:16.720 --> 00:35:22.520
even have to say. And some of you all have been, you know, not

723
00:35:22.520 --> 00:35:25.000
only with your parents, but maybe even in relationships

724
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:27.800
where, you know, you were belittled, and you were talked

725
00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:31.040
down, or there were things happening that were emotionally

726
00:35:31.040 --> 00:35:35.640
unhealthy, where there's a lot of confusion being cast to try

727
00:35:35.640 --> 00:35:38.880
to get you to doubt yourself. And some of you are coming out

728
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:41.760
of that. And that's why you still struggle. Like, is this

729
00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:44.760
real? Is this not real? Is this a healthy thought? Is this not?

730
00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:50.240
And if you haven't been there, praise the Lord. But I came out

731
00:35:50.240 --> 00:35:52.440
of that kind of stuff, because that's the kind of

732
00:35:52.600 --> 00:35:56.240
relationships. I kept attracting these men that were very

733
00:35:56.520 --> 00:36:00.560
mentally, verbally, emotionally, physically, you name it, I've

734
00:36:00.560 --> 00:36:02.880
been through spiritual abuse, I've been through it all, you

735
00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:07.040
all. And it's a crazy cycle. And then when you finally come out

736
00:36:07.040 --> 00:36:09.600
of it, you're kind of just trying to figure out what's real

737
00:36:09.600 --> 00:36:14.200
and what's not real. Right? All right, lie number six, you're

738
00:36:14.200 --> 00:36:18.880
always going to have to beg. This is where the orphan

739
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:22.520
mentalities come into play, ladies, and the limiting belief

740
00:36:22.520 --> 00:36:26.760
systems that we tend to live in, where we believe that we're

741
00:36:26.760 --> 00:36:30.200
not, whether we realize it or not, I know a lot of us go to

742
00:36:30.200 --> 00:36:33.640
church all the time. And we believe that God loves us. But

743
00:36:33.640 --> 00:36:39.720
deep down, we don't operate or function like a daughter. We

744
00:36:39.720 --> 00:36:44.760
function like slaves. In our relationship with the Lord.

745
00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:47.600
That's how we hear things. That's how we receive things.

746
00:36:47.600 --> 00:36:50.880
That's how we walk it out. But God wants you to know tonight,

747
00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:57.000
you're a daughter, you're his beloved. And daughters,

748
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:03.440
princesses don't have to beg, do they? No, they get a chair pulled

749
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:06.800
out for them at the table, the banquet table with the father

750
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:13.280
with the king. So if you believe you have to beg and want you to

751
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:15.800
be looking at that with the Lord, where did that start for

752
00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:18.960
you? When's the first time you felt like you had to beg for

753
00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:22.240
something and someone didn't give it to you or come through?

754
00:37:22.520 --> 00:37:26.320
And that's where that started to feed into that for you. Lie

755
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:30.240
number seven, if they really knew me, they wouldn't accept

756
00:37:30.240 --> 00:37:35.680
me, love me or choose me. They really knew me, they wouldn't

757
00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:40.040
accept me, love me or choose me. And what this ties into ladies

758
00:37:40.040 --> 00:37:45.120
is if they knew what I did. If they knew what I've been

759
00:37:45.120 --> 00:37:50.040
through, they wouldn't really love me. Because some of you

760
00:37:50.040 --> 00:37:53.480
believe as soon as you tell people your story that you have

761
00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:57.000
to pull back away into shame and guilt and hide, you feel

762
00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:05.280
exposed. But God doesn't expose, he covers. So if you feel

763
00:38:05.280 --> 00:38:09.240
exposed, that's the enemy causing that feeling and that

764
00:38:09.240 --> 00:38:13.440
lie. Okay, Linda, thanks for sharing that with them. You're

765
00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:16.640
not enough and your opinion doesn't matter was four and five

766
00:38:16.640 --> 00:38:20.160
lie number four and five. Thank you for that. So all of these

767
00:38:20.160 --> 00:38:24.280
lies that I chose tonight, I did it with a purpose. All of these

768
00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:29.840
lies tie to us having low self esteem, not understanding our

769
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:34.400
value and or our worth, or having pauper orphan

770
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:38.360
mentalities. A lot of times the enemy once we believe one line

771
00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:41.480
like this, he'll try to get us to believe another lie, another

772
00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:45.480
lie. And he's wanting to get us into again, that beggar, we're

773
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:48.640
not daughters, we're not beloved, we're slaves. Because

774
00:38:48.640 --> 00:38:54.280
if we live like a slave, and we think like a slave, you know,

775
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.200
we're not we're out of daughter, we're out of blessing flow. That

776
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:02.720
makes sense, everyone. All right, awesome. Y'all are

777
00:39:02.720 --> 00:39:06.600
tracking with me. This is great. Proverbs 1249 says this, these

778
00:39:06.600 --> 00:39:09.800
are some truths I want to speak over you. This is who you are.

779
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:14.000
Okay, this is some truth about you. And who God says that we

780
00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:19.000
all are. Proverbs 1249 says a wife of noble character is her

781
00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:26.160
husband's crown. I know that I brought this up this afternoon,

782
00:39:26.160 --> 00:39:29.920
but I feel led to say it again. A lot of times in our society.

783
00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:35.000
Now the word queen is thrown around all the time. She's my

784
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:40.240
queen. You're a queen girl. And I'm not making fun of that. But

785
00:39:40.240 --> 00:39:45.480
it's kind of a little not healthy. Here's why. Because we

786
00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:48.960
have a lot of people trying to be queen, but they've never

787
00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:55.240
learned how to be a daughter or a princess. Think about that.

788
00:39:55.680 --> 00:39:59.040
How can you be a queen if you don't know how to be a daughter?

789
00:39:59.480 --> 00:39:59.960
If you don't know

790
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.780
to be a princess and the word says, a wife of noble character

791
00:40:06.780 --> 00:40:08.040
is her husband's crown.

792
00:40:08.520 --> 00:40:10.040
You're a blessing to his life.

793
00:40:10.040 --> 00:40:12.720
Do you already believe internally that you're a

794
00:40:12.720 --> 00:40:14.240
blessing to your spirit mate?

795
00:40:15.780 --> 00:40:17.760
Again, no shame or guilt or condemnation.

796
00:40:17.760 --> 00:40:20.920
If you don't, I'm saying these things because I want you to be

797
00:40:21.160 --> 00:40:22.680
thinking about this with the Lord.

798
00:40:22.680 --> 00:40:28.240
If you don't really fully believe that, then you're probably going to attract

799
00:40:28.240 --> 00:40:30.560
men that aren't going to treat you that way.

800
00:40:32.240 --> 00:40:33.520
All right, I'm going to keep going.

801
00:40:33.880 --> 00:40:38.560
Ephesians 1 5 in love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus

802
00:40:38.560 --> 00:40:44.240
Christ and according in accordance, excuse me, with his pleasure and his will.

803
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:48.880
In love, he predestined us for adoption.

804
00:40:49.800 --> 00:40:51.360
Y'all he chose us.

805
00:40:51.480 --> 00:40:52.440
He chose us.

806
00:40:53.200 --> 00:40:58.320
He grafted us in because he loves us.

807
00:41:00.200 --> 00:41:02.840
So you were chosen from the beginning of time.

808
00:41:04.520 --> 00:41:09.000
Isaiah 43, four says, since you are precious and honored in my sight, and

809
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:15.840
because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you nations

810
00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:17.380
in exchange for your life.

811
00:41:17.380 --> 00:41:20.760
I want you just to think about what I just said there.

812
00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:26.600
God is saying to us, and he was saying this back in Isaiah's time.

813
00:41:26.600 --> 00:41:29.320
So he was speaking to the people of the land then, but it can

814
00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:30.720
be applied to us as well.

815
00:41:31.040 --> 00:41:36.760
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,

816
00:41:37.560 --> 00:41:39.280
I'm going to make trades for you.

817
00:41:40.520 --> 00:41:45.160
I'm going to, I'm going to do some business to make sure that you are mine.

818
00:41:46.080 --> 00:41:46.960
Do y'all get that?

819
00:41:48.240 --> 00:41:48.760
All right.

820
00:41:49.200 --> 00:41:53.120
Luke 12, seven says, indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

821
00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:55.040
Don't be afraid.

822
00:41:56.040 --> 00:41:58.840
You are worth more than sparrows.

823
00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:01.680
You're worth more than sparrows.

824
00:42:01.680 --> 00:42:04.440
Every single one of you are important and valuable.

825
00:42:04.840 --> 00:42:05.200
All right.

826
00:42:05.200 --> 00:42:07.040
I'm going to get you ready to go into breakouts.

827
00:42:07.040 --> 00:42:08.800
Here's what your question is tonight.

828
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:12.040
What broken heart aspect.

829
00:42:12.040 --> 00:42:16.000
So the liar, the puzzle, the pretender, you remember we talked about all those

830
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:21.400
masks, what broken heart aspect do you relate with the most tonight and why?

831
00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:22.080
All right.

832
00:42:22.080 --> 00:42:23.560
Let me get these breakouts ready.

833
00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:38.480
Hey, I'm going to try to do two people, two room to give

834
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:39.520
you all a little bit more time.

835
00:42:39.520 --> 00:42:41.880
I'm going to do seven minutes.

836
00:42:41.880 --> 00:42:44.320
So keep it short, brief and powerful ladies.

837
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:44.880
Okay.

838
00:42:46.240 --> 00:42:50.080
Again, the question is what broken heart aspect do you relate

839
00:42:50.080 --> 00:42:52.200
with the most tonight and why?

840
00:42:52.600 --> 00:42:53.000
Okay.

841
00:42:53.040 --> 00:42:54.160
Those are up on your screen.

842
00:42:54.160 --> 00:42:55.800
Go ahead and click to join those.

843
00:42:56.080 --> 00:43:00.040
Maybe praying for you all click to join those as quick as you can.

844
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:01.920
Stephanie, that's okay.

845
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.200
If you're at work, you can stay here in the main room.

846
00:43:04.360 --> 00:43:06.200
I'll just move people around if I need to.

847
00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:28.080
As soon as I make sure everybody's situated here, I will start to pray.

848
00:43:35.200 --> 00:43:35.880
All right.

849
00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:37.400
Jodi, are you stuck here?

850
00:43:37.600 --> 00:43:45.280
I was in room 13 and I tried to get something off of my screen and it took me back here.

851
00:43:45.720 --> 00:43:46.840
That's okay.

852
00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:48.520
Rosie, did it kick you out too?

853
00:43:48.560 --> 00:43:50.920
I'm trying to get some people for me too.

854
00:43:51.200 --> 00:43:51.480
Okay.

855
00:43:51.480 --> 00:43:52.480
Hold on one sec.

856
00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:53.080
I'll get y'all.

857
00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:53.800
Let's see.

858
00:43:53.800 --> 00:43:54.120
Rosie.

859
00:43:54.120 --> 00:43:55.480
I'm going to put you in the last.

860
00:43:56.200 --> 00:43:57.560
Oh, I don't even see you all.

861
00:43:58.520 --> 00:43:59.680
What rooms were you all in?

862
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:01.360
I was in 13.

863
00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:03.120
I was in nine.

864
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:05.240
Okay.

865
00:44:05.240 --> 00:44:07.320
Let me get that 13, 13.

866
00:44:10.920 --> 00:44:11.440
Oh, okay.

867
00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:12.880
So Katie's by herself.

868
00:44:13.240 --> 00:44:15.080
I don't have any way to put you back in there.

869
00:44:15.080 --> 00:44:17.120
So I'm just going to have to bump her to a different room.

870
00:44:17.120 --> 00:44:23.040
And Jodi, I'm going to, I don't remember who was where.

871
00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:23.880
I'm so sorry.

872
00:44:26.560 --> 00:44:27.760
No, it's totally fine.

873
00:44:29.680 --> 00:44:32.840
Um, we'll put you in 24 and then Rosie, you said nine.

874
00:44:34.520 --> 00:44:35.080
Yes.

875
00:44:35.520 --> 00:44:35.800
Okay.

876
00:44:35.800 --> 00:44:36.840
There's a new room for you.

877
00:44:36.840 --> 00:44:38.480
Go ahead and see if you can get in those.

878
00:44:38.800 --> 00:44:39.680
Thanks ladies.

879
00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:40.320
Sure.

880
00:44:43.840 --> 00:44:44.600
All right, father.

881
00:44:44.600 --> 00:44:45.720
Thank you so much.

882
00:44:45.720 --> 00:44:49.680
Even through technical difficulty, God, that you bless us, that you

883
00:44:49.680 --> 00:44:54.040
minister your truth and your healing and your life to us.

884
00:44:54.040 --> 00:44:56.840
Thank you, Lord, that you're going into all of the broken and

885
00:44:56.840 --> 00:44:58.600
fallen places of our hearts.

886
00:44:58.640 --> 00:44:59.640
God, thank you.

887
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:09.000
Yeah, so just pause and say thank you for placing the balm of Gilead and healing upon our hearts, our bodies, our minds, our spirits, our souls.

888
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:14.000
Thank you for healing even our finances as a result of the healing that we're going to experience here.

889
00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:21.000
God, we thank you that you would help us to receive your greater truth and your life.

890
00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:32.000
Lord, we thank you for your Holy Spirit power and hope that you would just come in and pour fresh hope into the hearts and minds and spirits of everyone here tonight.

891
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:36.000
Those that are watching the replay, God, we thank you that you never leave us.

892
00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:38.000
You never forsake us, God.

893
00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:39.000
You're always working.

894
00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:42.000
Even when we can't see it, Lord, you're working behind the scenes.

895
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:43.000
We thank you.

896
00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:52.000
Even just tonight as I'm praying that for the reminder years ago, I was on a walk and, you know, I've seen ants multiple times.

897
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:57.000
But for whatever reason, this one day in particular, I looked down and there were just ants.

898
00:45:57.000 --> 00:46:03.000
Like, you know, it caught my attention and I just noticed all these ants and they were crawling.

899
00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:06.000
And had I not looked down, I probably would have stepped right on them.

900
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:07.000
I was walking.

901
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:09.000
I was on this path.

902
00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:20.000
And the Lord used that the rest of my walk to speak to me about how every single day underneath the soil, underneath the grass that we see, that there's movement.

903
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.000
There's life, all kinds of stuff happening underneath the surface down there.

904
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:29.000
And God was basically just reminding me that he's always working.

905
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:30.000
Even when we can't see it, he's working.

906
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:31.000
Hi, Lynn.

907
00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:37.000
Did you just join us?

908
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:38.000
Hi, Lynn.

909
00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:39.000
Okay.

910
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:40.000
Welcome.

911
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:42.000
We're in breakout rooms right now.

912
00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:47.000
They are talking about what aspect of the broken heart do you relate with tonight and why.

913
00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:50.000
I'm going to go ahead and put you in one of the rooms and you can just listen in.

914
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:53.000
If you're not ready to share, that's totally fine.

915
00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:54.000
Okay?

916
00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:58.000
That's on the screen for you.

917
00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:02.000
Hi, Vern.

918
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:03.000
All right.

919
00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:04.000
I'm going to keep praying.

920
00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:07.000
So, Father, we just thank you for oh, are you talking to me?

921
00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:08.000
You just have to unmute.

922
00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:12.000
Did you get kicked out of the room?

923
00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:15.000
Oh, you're muted, sweetie.

924
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:24.000
Your phone's muted.

925
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:26.000
If you tap on the bottom of your phone.

926
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:27.000
Yeah, there you go.

927
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:29.000
I was saying I didn't get into the room.

928
00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:32.000
I'm at work, so I'm going to have to come off the call.

929
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:33.000
Okay.

930
00:47:33.000 --> 00:47:34.000
That's fine.

931
00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:35.000
Bye-bye.

932
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:39.000
So, Lord, we just thank you even as I was sharing just that truth.

933
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:44.000
Lord, help us to see what we can't see even regarding all the work that you're doing, God,

934
00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:48.000
that you're working all things together for good in our lives, Lord.

935
00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:52.000
We thank you even in situations like what Joseph went through, Lord.

936
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:58.000
There was nothing that he did to create that situation essentially where his brothers were jealous of him,

937
00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:04.000
which is what led them to throw him into the pit after he told them the story of the dream that he had.

938
00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:07.000
But, Lord, we thank you that you redeemed all of that.

939
00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:09.000
You redeemed that whole situation.

940
00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:13.000
And, God, you didn't intend that for Joseph, but, God, you used it.

941
00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:22.000
You used it to not only save his life but to save not only his family's life but many, many people when there was a famine in the land.

942
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:28.000
So, Lord, we thank you that there's purpose in our pain when we give it to you, God, that you can do amazing things with it.

943
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:44.000
Lord, we thank you for supernatural surrender and the reminder that we can give you permission every day to come in and work in our hearts and transform us from the inside out, God, that you are, man, yeah, I think I even prayed this last week, but it comes to mind again.

944
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:46.000
The potter and we're the clay.

945
00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:51.000
And you're working and creating a masterpiece out of every mess in our lives.

946
00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:54.000
So, Lord, we just thank you, Lord.

947
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:57.000
I just hear the word saying that he doesn't get tired of us.

948
00:48:57.000 --> 00:49:05.000
And so, if there's anyone on the call that's here tonight or that's going to watch the replay, God wants you to know that he's not tired of you.

949
00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:07.000
He's not tired of listening to your voice.

950
00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:09.000
He loves to spend time with you.

951
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:11.000
He loves to hear from you.

952
00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:17.000
And he is going to continue to show up for you in ways that you could never ask, think, or imagine.

953
00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:20.000
So, Lord, we thank you for that.

954
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.000
We believe that in Jesus' name, and we speak that over you tonight.

955
00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:29.000
Isaiah 61.3 says to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.

956
00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:39.000
So, Lord, we thank you that you would bestow on each one of us a crown of beauty in every area of ash, of pain, of loss, where the locust has eaten and the moth has destroyed.

957
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:44.000
God, we thank you, God, that you're going to restore all that stuff and then some.

958
00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:46.000
The blessing, abundant blessing.

959
00:49:46.000 --> 00:49:48.000
The ands suddenlies that they would start to happen.

960
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:49.000
We thank you, God.

961
00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:58.000
I just pray right now over every Jesus Cares board that's represented by the ladies in this community and this group here live watching the replay.

962
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:00.000
And even if they never come to a live event.

963
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.620
God, we ask you to continue to work in their cares,

964
00:50:04.620 --> 00:50:06.860
their fears, their worries in supernatural ways.

965
00:50:06.860 --> 00:50:10.140
God, as they put those cares and cast those upon you

966
00:50:10.140 --> 00:50:12.540
on their Jesus Cares Board, we thank you, God,

967
00:50:12.540 --> 00:50:13.520
that you hear them.

968
00:50:13.520 --> 00:50:15.060
And we thank you that you're gonna continue

969
00:50:15.060 --> 00:50:17.660
to show up and move and power.

970
00:50:17.660 --> 00:50:18.880
God, you're mighty.

971
00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:21.380
You're the creator of heaven and earth.

972
00:50:21.380 --> 00:50:22.800
Nothing is too hard for you.

973
00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:24.940
So we thank you that we partner with faith.

974
00:50:24.940 --> 00:50:25.980
We partner with hope.

975
00:50:25.980 --> 00:50:28.060
We choose to partner with joy, unspeakable,

976
00:50:28.060 --> 00:50:30.820
and full of glory before we even feel it.

977
00:50:30.820 --> 00:50:32.300
God, we receive it.

978
00:50:33.500 --> 00:50:34.460
Yeah, that's a word.

979
00:50:34.460 --> 00:50:38.700
Before we even feel joy, Lord, we receive it.

980
00:50:38.700 --> 00:50:41.000
So Lord, I pray that and ask you and thank you

981
00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:43.720
for filling us afresh with your Holy Spirit,

982
00:50:43.720 --> 00:50:46.400
for filling us with your love to overflowing,

983
00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:50.440
that out of the overflow that we would experience his love,

984
00:50:50.440 --> 00:50:52.360
that that's how we would love other people,

985
00:50:52.360 --> 00:50:54.700
out of the overflow, not out of lack

986
00:50:54.700 --> 00:50:57.400
and this little tiny trickle.

987
00:50:57.420 --> 00:50:58.480
That's not how God is.

988
00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:00.620
God doesn't just trickle love into our lives.

989
00:51:00.620 --> 00:51:01.820
He's got a lot.

990
00:51:01.820 --> 00:51:05.100
He's got a lot and he wants to release that unto us.

991
00:51:05.100 --> 00:51:06.980
And so we wanna thank you, Lord,

992
00:51:06.980 --> 00:51:09.260
for helping us to open our hearts and our minds

993
00:51:09.260 --> 00:51:12.180
and our spirits and our bodies to receive every good thing

994
00:51:12.180 --> 00:51:13.020
that you have for us.

995
00:51:13.020 --> 00:51:14.860
Welcome back, ladies.

996
00:51:14.860 --> 00:51:15.700
Welcome back.

997
00:51:15.700 --> 00:51:17.900
Go ahead and mute for me when you come back.

998
00:51:18.940 --> 00:51:20.220
I have a lot of background sound.

999
00:51:20.220 --> 00:51:22.060
We'll start to hear screech stuff.

1000
00:51:22.060 --> 00:51:24.100
All right, I think I've got everybody muted.

1001
00:51:24.100 --> 00:51:25.420
Before we do group coaching,

1002
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:28.120
I wanna go ahead and give you the activation now.

1003
00:51:28.120 --> 00:51:29.720
I have two for you this week.

1004
00:51:31.020 --> 00:51:32.560
It's gonna be a fun week, you all.

1005
00:51:32.560 --> 00:51:33.480
It's gonna be really good.

1006
00:51:33.480 --> 00:51:37.040
So activation number one is shifting to the positive.

1007
00:51:37.040 --> 00:51:40.020
And what I mean by this is I want you to ask God

1008
00:51:40.020 --> 00:51:43.720
to show you the gold, G-O-L-D,

1009
00:51:43.720 --> 00:51:48.720
the gold in yourself and in other people around you.

1010
00:51:49.040 --> 00:51:50.640
And then I want you to come into the group

1011
00:51:50.640 --> 00:51:53.280
and share a post about what you're seeing.

1012
00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:55.160
Don't feel like you gotta wait all week long

1013
00:51:55.900 --> 00:51:58.340
and gather a bunch just as God's given you revelation.

1014
00:51:58.340 --> 00:52:00.740
Maybe it's even some of the people you've been praying

1015
00:52:00.740 --> 00:52:02.780
about and processing the healing

1016
00:52:02.780 --> 00:52:05.780
and that God would start showing you the gold in them.

1017
00:52:05.780 --> 00:52:07.400
Does that mean you have to go right

1018
00:52:07.400 --> 00:52:09.820
into a toxic relationship with someone again?

1019
00:52:09.820 --> 00:52:13.900
No, but the reality is is God creates everybody

1020
00:52:13.900 --> 00:52:16.080
in his image.

1021
00:52:16.080 --> 00:52:17.900
Everybody's created in his image.

1022
00:52:19.580 --> 00:52:21.880
Some people choose to walk out on healthy things.

1023
00:52:21.880 --> 00:52:24.360
That doesn't mean that they don't have the image

1024
00:52:24.380 --> 00:52:26.220
of Christ in them, okay?

1025
00:52:26.220 --> 00:52:31.220
So the activation is shifting, S-H-I-F-T, to the positive.

1026
00:52:31.580 --> 00:52:34.260
So you're asking God to show you the gold

1027
00:52:34.260 --> 00:52:37.100
in yourself and other people.

1028
00:52:37.100 --> 00:52:38.620
And then you're coming into the group

1029
00:52:38.620 --> 00:52:40.460
and you're posting about what God has shown you.

1030
00:52:40.460 --> 00:52:42.100
That's number one.

1031
00:52:42.100 --> 00:52:44.200
Activation number two.

1032
00:52:44.200 --> 00:52:46.640
We're gonna activate play this week.

1033
00:52:49.140 --> 00:52:50.900
What do I mean by that?

1034
00:52:50.900 --> 00:52:54.260
Well, girls just wanna have fun.

1035
00:52:55.120 --> 00:52:56.840
It's not just a song, y'all.

1036
00:52:56.840 --> 00:52:58.560
It's something that we need to practice

1037
00:52:58.560 --> 00:53:01.320
because some of what I've known now,

1038
00:53:01.320 --> 00:53:02.920
I've been doing this coaching for a long time.

1039
00:53:02.920 --> 00:53:05.580
And again, y'all remember that I'm a success story

1040
00:53:05.580 --> 00:53:06.420
from this community.

1041
00:53:06.420 --> 00:53:08.520
So all the things I'm talking to you about,

1042
00:53:08.520 --> 00:53:11.200
most of them, I've done them, okay?

1043
00:53:11.200 --> 00:53:13.880
And way back when, when Jackie did the first,

1044
00:53:13.880 --> 00:53:16.080
let's activate play, a bunch of us went out,

1045
00:53:16.080 --> 00:53:17.220
did all kinds of stuff.

1046
00:53:17.220 --> 00:53:19.440
I mean, ladies were climbing trees

1047
00:53:19.440 --> 00:53:21.680
and swinging on swings and going down slides.

1048
00:53:21.700 --> 00:53:25.460
So that's some of my ideas for you tonight to do this week.

1049
00:53:25.460 --> 00:53:28.880
But what we want you to cultivate the play,

1050
00:53:28.880 --> 00:53:30.980
the little girl in you,

1051
00:53:30.980 --> 00:53:32.140
maybe somewhere along the way,

1052
00:53:32.140 --> 00:53:35.020
people told you you're too old for that.

1053
00:53:35.020 --> 00:53:40.020
Oh, just calm down, or maybe trauma, fear,

1054
00:53:40.060 --> 00:53:43.220
the loss of hope, all these things

1055
00:53:43.220 --> 00:53:46.500
that just press the fun side of you down.

1056
00:53:46.500 --> 00:53:48.180
We want that stuff to come back out.

1057
00:53:48.180 --> 00:53:50.060
We want you to come out and play.

1058
00:53:50.120 --> 00:53:51.880
And so basically as you're doing this,

1059
00:53:51.880 --> 00:53:53.940
what I believe is that as you're healing

1060
00:53:53.940 --> 00:53:56.040
and you're allowing play,

1061
00:53:56.040 --> 00:53:59.800
you're allowing yourself to have some fun in a healthy way,

1062
00:53:59.800 --> 00:54:02.200
convergence is gonna happen, okay?

1063
00:54:02.200 --> 00:54:03.920
Where you're gonna start reconnecting

1064
00:54:03.920 --> 00:54:05.840
with parts of yourself that you've denied

1065
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:08.440
for a really long time, all right?

1066
00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:11.400
Reconnecting with that fun side can awaken you

1067
00:54:11.400 --> 00:54:13.740
in ways that you can't even imagine.

1068
00:54:13.740 --> 00:54:15.740
So here are some ideas.

1069
00:54:15.740 --> 00:54:17.280
Y'all can do however you want.

1070
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:18.680
And this isn't even just,

1071
00:54:18.680 --> 00:54:20.060
I mean, if you have a thought right now

1072
00:54:20.060 --> 00:54:21.880
and you've already thought of something, cool.

1073
00:54:21.880 --> 00:54:23.460
But I really want you to be intentional

1074
00:54:23.460 --> 00:54:25.060
to pray about this too.

1075
00:54:25.060 --> 00:54:27.480
God, what fun things should I do?

1076
00:54:29.180 --> 00:54:30.920
God, what should I go do for fun?

1077
00:54:30.920 --> 00:54:34.340
What do I need to do to activate fun inside of myself?

1078
00:54:34.340 --> 00:54:36.700
Because he's gonna show you what to do there too.

1079
00:54:36.700 --> 00:54:39.620
Did you know that God is fun and adventurous?

1080
00:54:39.620 --> 00:54:41.320
Because he is.

1081
00:54:41.320 --> 00:54:43.060
He's the author of fun.

1082
00:54:43.060 --> 00:54:46.380
And so he wants to teach some of y'all how to have fun, yeah.

1083
00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:49.080
Salsa dancing in your kitchen randomly, love it.

1084
00:54:49.080 --> 00:54:51.060
Okay, here's some examples.

1085
00:54:51.060 --> 00:54:53.320
A pajama party with some girlfriends.

1086
00:54:53.320 --> 00:54:55.800
Some of y'all that might make you cringe right now

1087
00:54:55.800 --> 00:54:57.840
because you don't have close girlfriends.

1088
00:54:58.800 --> 00:55:00.120
Okay, totally fine.

1089
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.520
And you're not there yet. But I think at some point some of you

1090
00:55:03.520 --> 00:55:06.280
are going to have girlfriends in ways you haven't in a very long

1091
00:55:06.280 --> 00:55:11.720
time. But yeah, pajama party full on if you like nails, if

1092
00:55:11.720 --> 00:55:14.760
you don't like that, don't do that. But mask all the whole

1093
00:55:14.760 --> 00:55:17.200
nine yards watching funny movies, something to make you

1094
00:55:17.200 --> 00:55:20.280
laugh. Okay, preferably not these sappy things that are

1095
00:55:20.280 --> 00:55:24.520
making you depressed and cry something funny. Hey, put some

1096
00:55:24.520 --> 00:55:28.160
music on have a dance party. And I know that sounds like, oh, so

1097
00:55:28.160 --> 00:55:32.760
cliche. But literally, you all will be so surprised at how much

1098
00:55:32.840 --> 00:55:36.200
like, it'll bring that fun little side out out of you in

1099
00:55:36.200 --> 00:55:39.120
ways you can't even imagine. So as I mentioned, climbing trees,

1100
00:55:39.120 --> 00:55:42.200
swinging on swings, going down slides, maybe you need to go on

1101
00:55:42.200 --> 00:55:45.680
an adventure that you've wanted to go on for a long time, but

1102
00:55:45.680 --> 00:55:51.320
you keep putting it off. Maybe yours is to explore new places

1103
00:55:51.520 --> 00:55:54.720
and experiences. Maybe some of you have been feeling led to

1104
00:55:54.720 --> 00:55:59.000
take a class to learn a new hobby. Don't put that off.

1105
00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:02.760
Let's do it. Let's activate the fun inside of yourself. And I

1106
00:56:02.760 --> 00:56:05.480
want to talk to you about explore here exploring I felt

1107
00:56:05.480 --> 00:56:09.160
led to look this up to explore new place is to investigate it

1108
00:56:09.160 --> 00:56:14.520
to study it to analyze it look into to become familiar with by

1109
00:56:14.520 --> 00:56:18.680
testing it or experimenting with it. To travel over new

1110
00:56:18.680 --> 00:56:24.320
territory for adventure or discovery. Some of you struggle

1111
00:56:24.320 --> 00:56:27.080
to be in healthy relationships because you don't really know

1112
00:56:27.080 --> 00:56:32.680
who you are. Yet. Okay, yet is a key word. Y'all will hear me say

1113
00:56:32.680 --> 00:56:36.320
that a lot. You taking the time to have fun and explore things

1114
00:56:36.320 --> 00:56:39.520
you like or don't like will be key to you becoming a healthier

1115
00:56:39.520 --> 00:56:43.920
version of yourself, which can then create a healthier dynamic

1116
00:56:43.920 --> 00:56:47.720
to invite someone else into. Do you see how important this is?

1117
00:56:48.160 --> 00:56:52.320
All right. All right. Those are your activations. So shifting

1118
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:56.320
to positive and activate play go have some fun. And here's the

1119
00:56:56.320 --> 00:57:00.400
thing. I want to see proof. Do you know what that means? I want

1120
00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:03.400
to see pictures in the group of the fun that you're having. I

1121
00:57:03.400 --> 00:57:08.280
had a lady she's been out of the heartwork space and phase for

1122
00:57:08.520 --> 00:57:11.720
probably a little over a month now. But y'all she took me up on

1123
00:57:11.720 --> 00:57:16.560
this activation. And it created incredible breakthrough loop

1124
00:57:16.560 --> 00:57:19.680
even things like she hadn't gone out and just done anything by

1125
00:57:19.720 --> 00:57:23.760
herself. And so the one day she went to a park, and she just

1126
00:57:23.760 --> 00:57:27.320
video these waterfalls. And then she shared it in the group, y'all

1127
00:57:27.320 --> 00:57:30.200
that's blessing other people when she's doing that. And then

1128
00:57:30.200 --> 00:57:33.360
another night, she took herself on a date, took herself to

1129
00:57:33.360 --> 00:57:36.600
dinner and went to a movie. Another time, you know, she went

1130
00:57:36.600 --> 00:57:40.040
to a different like she was literally going off all in for

1131
00:57:40.040 --> 00:57:45.400
it. And I'm telling you what that shifted her immensely. So I

1132
00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:49.920
encourage you take us up on it. And then show me show us some

1133
00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:53.680
proof. Let's have some fun with this. All right. Okay, coaching

1134
00:57:53.680 --> 00:57:56.640
time. Here's where we enter group coaching time. I would

1135
00:57:56.640 --> 00:57:59.520
love for any of you that are willing. I'll take as many of

1136
00:57:59.520 --> 00:58:02.760
you as I can tonight. Okay, we are going to have a hard stop at

1137
00:58:02.760 --> 00:58:07.240
930. Okay, so I will take as many as I can any that are

1138
00:58:07.240 --> 00:58:09.320
willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the

1139
00:58:09.320 --> 00:58:13.680
private breakout session about the question. Kim Carey, go

1140
00:58:13.680 --> 00:58:17.000
ahead. I saw your hand go up first. Hi.

1141
00:58:17.200 --> 00:58:22.440
Hello. So I was in with Kathy. And we were talking a little bit

1142
00:58:22.440 --> 00:58:26.920
about being the pretender. So I won't speak for Kathy. But we

1143
00:58:26.920 --> 00:58:29.160
definitely agreed on some points. And she had another one

1144
00:58:29.160 --> 00:58:32.760
that she kind of resonated with too. But we talked about a lot

1145
00:58:32.760 --> 00:58:36.680
about pretender. But for me, I tend to not want to rock the

1146
00:58:36.680 --> 00:58:41.200
boat. You know, I just want to like, keep the water smooth and

1147
00:58:41.200 --> 00:58:44.480
calm and everything will be fine. And even if I have, you

1148
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:46.440
know, an opinion about something, I don't necessarily

1149
00:58:46.440 --> 00:58:49.040
share it, especially if it's like, it's not that big a deal.

1150
00:58:49.040 --> 00:58:52.360
So the example I was sharing with her is the guy that I most

1151
00:58:52.360 --> 00:58:55.440
recently dated about six months ago, he would always ask me what

1152
00:58:55.440 --> 00:58:59.800
I wanted to eat. And like, I'm very like, low key, chill kind

1153
00:58:59.800 --> 00:59:03.480
of person, like go with the flow, just whatever. And I like

1154
00:59:03.480 --> 00:59:06.000
pretty much any kind of food. Like if it's not slimy or

1155
00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:09.640
rubbery, I'll eat it and enjoy it. And so he would always ask

1156
00:59:09.640 --> 00:59:11.720
me what I want to eat. And I'm like, I don't care, like,

1157
00:59:11.960 --> 00:59:14.440
wherever you want to go is fine. They'll have something on the

1158
00:59:14.440 --> 00:59:17.640
menu that I like. And like, he genuinely got mad at me one time

1159
00:59:17.640 --> 00:59:20.280
because I was like, they'll have something on the menu that I'll

1160
00:59:20.280 --> 00:59:23.160
eat, because I didn't have like the strong opinion about food.

1161
00:59:23.560 --> 00:59:26.200
And it's not just food. But it was, you know, that was one of

1162
00:59:26.200 --> 00:59:29.800
the things that came up. And it's, I'm trying to dig into it

1163
00:59:29.800 --> 00:59:34.680
more like I'm genuinely a people person also. And I just this

1164
00:59:34.680 --> 00:59:39.320
past week, I think it was after last week's call. But I was kind

1165
00:59:39.320 --> 00:59:42.520
of thinking about like, just how I'm wired. And I'm like, do

1166
00:59:42.520 --> 00:59:46.280
I, you know, kind of not really know who I am or not have these

1167
00:59:46.280 --> 00:59:49.920
strong opinions? Because, like, I'm the person where it doesn't

1168
00:59:49.920 --> 00:59:53.360
matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm with people that I enjoy.

1169
00:59:53.360 --> 00:59:55.280
Like, we could be picking up trash, and I'm having a great

1170
00:59:55.280 --> 00:59:58.360
time because it's about people. But is it because of that, that

1171
00:59:58.360 --> 01:00:00.200
I've never like, paid attention to?

1172
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.560
attention to what I actually like and don't like and kind of pretend whatever,

1173
01:00:04.560 --> 01:00:07.520
like maybe not even realize that I'm pretending, but I'm just kind of like,

1174
01:00:07.560 --> 01:00:09.480
Oh, whatever I'm with all these people that I like.

1175
01:00:09.480 --> 01:00:12.780
So everything else is just kind of on the fringe on the

1176
01:00:12.780 --> 01:00:13.960
fringe and doesn't matter.

1177
01:00:14.480 --> 01:00:17.720
So anyway, I think you're on to something I will tell you.

1178
01:00:17.800 --> 01:00:19.740
And, and I love, here's the thing.

1179
01:00:20.200 --> 01:00:23.240
I love that you are a people person.

1180
01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:23.780
Okay.

1181
01:00:24.180 --> 01:00:29.640
But when you said something very key, when you started out, you said, I don't

1182
01:00:29.840 --> 01:00:34.200
like, I forget exactly how you said it, but the way I wrote it down was not rock

1183
01:00:34.200 --> 01:00:34.700
the boat.

1184
01:00:35.600 --> 01:00:40.600
So when is the first time that you remember not wanting to rock the boat?

1185
01:00:41.080 --> 01:00:42.960
And if you don't remember right now, it's totally fine.

1186
01:00:42.960 --> 01:00:47.800
But is there a time that the first time you ever remember not wanting to rock

1187
01:00:47.800 --> 01:00:48.300
the boat?

1188
01:00:48.320 --> 01:00:50.560
And why do you remember why?

1189
01:00:51.080 --> 01:00:54.520
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I think it's tied together.

1190
01:00:54.520 --> 01:01:00.080
So when I was two years old, um, my grandfather passed away, but I remember

1191
01:01:00.080 --> 01:01:05.760
the day that the ambulance came to my grandparents' house to take him to the

1192
01:01:05.760 --> 01:01:06.320
hospital.

1193
01:01:06.640 --> 01:01:10.320
And I just remember like sitting on this bench and just trying to stay out of the

1194
01:01:10.320 --> 01:01:15.120
way, like sit there, don't be seen don't like just stay out of the way.

1195
01:01:15.600 --> 01:01:19.680
And so I think that has a lot of it, you know, has a lot to do with it.

1196
01:01:19.680 --> 01:01:24.160
Cause that thought comes up fairly often about like, you know, I don't

1197
01:01:24.160 --> 01:01:29.560
necessarily want to, you know, express my thoughts, my feelings, like, you know,

1198
01:01:29.600 --> 01:01:31.200
just sit there and be quiet kind of a thing.

1199
01:01:31.200 --> 01:01:32.360
Nobody told me to be quiet.

1200
01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:35.560
I don't think I just felt like that was what I needed to do.

1201
01:01:35.760 --> 01:01:38.080
So I think that translates into a lot of my life.

1202
01:01:38.760 --> 01:01:39.160
Okay.

1203
01:01:39.160 --> 01:01:41.920
Was there a second thing you said there were two things that kind of tied

1204
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:42.440
together?

1205
01:01:43.280 --> 01:01:49.880
No, I think that, that thing, that memory at two ties into not wanting to rock the

1206
01:01:49.880 --> 01:01:50.840
boat somehow.

1207
01:01:51.120 --> 01:01:54.840
Otherwise I don't, I don't necessarily remember a time where I was like, Oh, I

1208
01:01:54.840 --> 01:01:58.040
got to keep this to myself because whatever.

1209
01:01:58.480 --> 01:01:58.960
Yeah.

1210
01:01:59.480 --> 01:01:59.760
Okay.

1211
01:01:59.760 --> 01:02:04.000
So what I would do with that, honestly, because one of the things you said there

1212
01:02:04.000 --> 01:02:06.920
that was key as well, as you said, it keeps coming up.

1213
01:02:08.400 --> 01:02:10.160
I mean, I remember that fairly often.

1214
01:02:10.240 --> 01:02:11.360
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

1215
01:02:11.400 --> 01:02:13.800
And so I think there's a reason for that.

1216
01:02:13.800 --> 01:02:18.880
So the Lord's probably wanting to bring some healing there and we're not trying to

1217
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:20.360
remember, we're not trying to dig.

1218
01:02:20.400 --> 01:02:20.720
Okay.

1219
01:02:20.720 --> 01:02:25.280
Because we don't want to go where the Lord's not ready to reveal for us to go.

1220
01:02:25.360 --> 01:02:25.760
Okay.

1221
01:02:26.160 --> 01:02:30.360
And that doesn't mean something else happened, but at two years old, that's a

1222
01:02:30.360 --> 01:02:32.720
pretty traumatic situation that you were going through.

1223
01:02:33.080 --> 01:02:37.360
And so what I want to encourage you to do this week is ask the Lord, cause you were

1224
01:02:37.360 --> 01:02:38.320
sitting on a bench.

1225
01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:40.160
Do you remember if anyone was sitting with you?

1226
01:02:40.600 --> 01:02:41.360
I was by myself.

1227
01:02:41.720 --> 01:02:42.000
Yeah.

1228
01:02:42.360 --> 01:02:42.800
Okay.

1229
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:46.920
So I want you to ask the Lord to reveal to you where he was when that was

1230
01:02:46.920 --> 01:02:47.600
happening.

1231
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.800
And what does he want to tell you about the situation?

1232
01:02:53.720 --> 01:02:55.400
And just see where that leads you.

1233
01:02:56.680 --> 01:03:01.440
And then, and then be in prayer this week about any other times that you didn't want

1234
01:03:01.440 --> 01:03:02.360
to rock the boat.

1235
01:03:03.160 --> 01:03:05.920
Did anyone in your family have a temper when you were little?

1236
01:03:09.600 --> 01:03:14.440
I don't think especially, I mean, okay.

1237
01:03:14.520 --> 01:03:19.040
My dad, maybe a little bit, but I like, I never felt like I wasn't afraid of my dad

1238
01:03:19.040 --> 01:03:19.800
or anything like that.

1239
01:03:19.800 --> 01:03:21.840
Like I didn't feel like he was coming after me or anything.

1240
01:03:21.920 --> 01:03:23.600
Um, yeah, but.

1241
01:03:24.240 --> 01:03:24.640
Okay.

1242
01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:25.200
Yeah.

1243
01:03:25.200 --> 01:03:28.960
So we need the Lord to eliminate where the not rock the boat comes from.

1244
01:03:28.960 --> 01:03:32.640
And if it is from this thing from two, you might, there might be things that'll

1245
01:03:32.640 --> 01:03:36.440
start to come together as he shows you, where was he at when you were sitting on

1246
01:03:36.440 --> 01:03:39.520
the bench and what does he want you to know about that situation?

1247
01:03:39.960 --> 01:03:42.400
And let's just see what he starts to piece together for you.

1248
01:03:42.400 --> 01:03:47.680
But I think there's probably going to be some other things and times where that was

1249
01:03:47.680 --> 01:03:49.320
something that you believe.

1250
01:03:49.320 --> 01:03:53.160
Like if I speak up or if I say something, I'm going to rock the boat.

1251
01:03:53.160 --> 01:03:59.080
And typically when people, um, have a thought like that, they have a negative

1252
01:03:59.080 --> 01:04:03.400
thing that they believe is going to happen if they rock the boat.

1253
01:04:03.800 --> 01:04:04.680
Does that make sense?

1254
01:04:05.040 --> 01:04:08.720
And again, we'll let the Holy spirit reveal this, uh, for healing.

1255
01:04:09.040 --> 01:04:15.320
Um, but in this process of even having fun and activating some of that, I really want

1256
01:04:15.320 --> 01:04:19.560
you just to think about like, what do you like?

1257
01:04:20.560 --> 01:04:21.400
That's a great question.

1258
01:04:21.400 --> 01:04:22.400
I'm trying to figure that out.

1259
01:04:22.880 --> 01:04:27.320
And you can ask the Lord to help you remember, because sometimes in life ladies

1260
01:04:27.320 --> 01:04:28.800
as well, and this is for everyone.

1261
01:04:29.160 --> 01:04:35.480
Sometimes we forget because hard things happen and we go into survival mode.

1262
01:04:36.200 --> 01:04:40.840
And when we go into survival mode, a lot of times stuff gets pushed down in inside

1263
01:04:40.840 --> 01:04:41.200
of us.

1264
01:04:41.200 --> 01:04:41.640
Okay.

1265
01:04:41.640 --> 01:04:46.120
So it's, it's under the surface, but a lot of times we can't even see it's there.

1266
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:49.560
And then we just convince ourselves like, I'm just good.

1267
01:04:49.560 --> 01:04:54.600
If I'm with people, you know, and we don't want to upset anybody and we want everybody

1268
01:04:54.600 --> 01:04:59.640
to be happy and because life is better if everyone's happy and we don't want to be the

1269
01:04:59.640 --> 01:05:00.080
source.

1270
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.840
with anyone's unhappiness. Okay. So just, yeah, keep praying into that. Come in and to the group

1271
01:05:05.840 --> 01:05:10.560
as you're processing, if things come up and you need help to unpack it more, look forward to

1272
01:05:10.560 --> 01:05:18.160
hearing where that leads you. Thank you for sharing. You're welcome. Is it Makia? Did I say that right?

1273
01:05:19.920 --> 01:05:25.280
Yes, that's correct. I actually had a clarifying question. So I was in a group with two other

1274
01:05:25.280 --> 01:05:32.560
ladies and neither, none of the three of us got the, what the puzzler was. Oh, well, the puzzle

1275
01:05:32.560 --> 01:05:38.400
is, it's just basically like you have a bunch of puzzle pieces in your heart. It's a mess.

1276
01:05:38.400 --> 01:05:45.120
So let me go back to my notes here. So basically the heart is broken heart when it's a puzzle,

1277
01:05:45.120 --> 01:05:50.720
it's telling us that we want things that we don't really want. Okay. So there's a lot of confusion

1278
01:05:50.720 --> 01:05:56.720
in there, a lot of chaos. Yeah. So like example that I gave was, you know, sometimes we will,

1279
01:05:57.360 --> 01:06:04.480
like our flesh will tell us we want to eat food when we're sad. Okay. Cause we're, it's telling

1280
01:06:04.480 --> 01:06:10.160
us we want things that we don't actually really want, but that's coming out of pain and chaos and

1281
01:06:10.160 --> 01:06:15.600
all kinds of things that are kind of jumbled up in there. If you think of a puzzle, have you ever

1282
01:06:15.600 --> 01:06:21.120
done a puzzle when you first dump it out of the box and there's a bunch of puzzle pieces everywhere.

1283
01:06:21.120 --> 01:06:25.040
That's what I want you to picture. So there's just a bunch of stuff that's all in a pile

1284
01:06:25.680 --> 01:06:32.000
and God's just trying to help you sort through it to put the puzzle together. Does that make sense?

1285
01:06:32.880 --> 01:06:40.880
Is that helpful? Yeah. All right. Awesome. Great question. All right. Did you have anything else

1286
01:06:40.960 --> 01:06:46.800
you wanted to share before I go to Dee? I guess I'll share what I shared in the group.

1287
01:06:48.080 --> 01:06:55.200
I don't, I can relate to some of the puzzle, but I think my default is the first one, the liar.

1288
01:06:55.760 --> 01:07:03.760
And so that, it's actually an interesting issue because a lot of it I had identified,

1289
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:11.840
I guess a few years ago, but I still keep hearing the lies because my situation being my, being

1290
01:07:11.840 --> 01:07:17.440
single hasn't changed. So you keep, I keep hearing the lies because, okay, well, you're still not in

1291
01:07:17.440 --> 01:07:21.920
a relationship. You're still not married. And I mean, at this point I'm 51. So it's like,

1292
01:07:22.480 --> 01:07:27.200
you're like, okay, what's, you know, statistically speaking, there's not a lot of,

1293
01:07:27.200 --> 01:07:32.720
you know, there's not a lot of people still available when you get older and the people you

1294
01:07:32.720 --> 01:07:36.720
do meet have a lot of issues because they're doing your, you know, they're dealing with their

1295
01:07:36.720 --> 01:07:43.840
own messes too. So it, so it, so the lie keeps coming up in my mind, but my conscious mind is

1296
01:07:43.840 --> 01:07:48.080
saying, no, that's not true. But my subconscious is like, well, you know, look at what's happening.

1297
01:07:49.200 --> 01:07:55.520
Well, I'm here to tell you, we have people that are older, way older than you getting married.

1298
01:07:55.520 --> 01:08:02.880
So tonight you get to kick that lie to the curb if you want to, because there are, there are people

1299
01:08:02.880 --> 01:08:08.960
your age, and there are men that are healthy, full of the spirit and walk in the fruits of the spirit

1300
01:08:08.960 --> 01:08:15.120
your age that actually want to get married. And some of them have struggled to find a wife too,

1301
01:08:15.120 --> 01:08:19.760
because some of them also believe the lie that they were supposed to wait, all these different

1302
01:08:19.760 --> 01:08:26.560
dynamics. And so I want to encourage you just to come out of agreement with those things in the

1303
01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:33.840
days ahead. Yeah. Lie. Goodbye. See you later. Because it's not serving you well. And a lot of

1304
01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:38.319
times those lies that you're believing are actually causing you to remain stuck and single.

1305
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:46.080
So allow the Holy spirit to come in and bring truth. And, and let's start it this way. I have

1306
01:08:46.080 --> 01:08:52.399
an activation for you, Machia. And anyone that wants to do this can do it as well. This is going

1307
01:08:52.399 --> 01:08:56.560
to be a fun one. This isn't to look for your spirit mate, because while you're here in heartwork,

1308
01:08:56.560 --> 01:09:01.680
we're asking and press pause on dating and trying to meet guys. But what I want you to do is I want

1309
01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:07.840
you just to start asking God to show you good guys around you all different ages. They don't have to

1310
01:09:07.840 --> 01:09:13.359
just be your age. God, show me good men all around me. And I want you to start just randomly. Like

1311
01:09:13.359 --> 01:09:21.680
if you're at a store, make eye contact, say hi, smile. There you go. Smile at them. You know,

1312
01:09:21.680 --> 01:09:26.640
where you're interacting, you're not trying to flirt, but you're trying to allow yourself to

1313
01:09:26.640 --> 01:09:32.960
be seen and just being nice and friendly. And you all that kind of stuff will come back to you later

1314
01:09:32.960 --> 01:09:39.040
on. It will. Okay. So practicing again, that's kind of another way to have fun and come out of

1315
01:09:39.040 --> 01:09:44.240
hiding. So you can look at it that way as well, but that was a great share. So we look forward

1316
01:09:44.240 --> 01:09:54.400
to hearing how it goes. She's not sure yet. I don't think I'm typing it. Okay. Okay. I just

1317
01:09:54.400 --> 01:09:58.480
want to make sure you're good. Cause some people are like, Oh gosh, what did she just ask me to go

1318
01:09:58.480 --> 01:09:59.680
do? And that's just like,

1319
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.200
or not thrilled about it.

1320
01:10:01.200 --> 01:10:04.920
But I will tell you, like, we've had a lot of women that,

1321
01:10:04.920 --> 01:10:05.760
I don't know about you all,

1322
01:10:05.760 --> 01:10:09.340
but way back because of some of the things I've been through,

1323
01:10:09.340 --> 01:10:11.980
I would have a hard time looking at guys in the eye.

1324
01:10:13.720 --> 01:10:15.580
And that was a problem.

1325
01:10:15.580 --> 01:10:17.840
And so one time we were,

1326
01:10:17.840 --> 01:10:20.440
a group of us from the community, we're in Nashville,

1327
01:10:20.440 --> 01:10:22.040
we went to Franklin downtown,

1328
01:10:22.040 --> 01:10:25.400
and we decided we were gonna practice what Jackie told us.

1329
01:10:25.400 --> 01:10:28.400
And we were like working on walking down the street

1330
01:10:28.440 --> 01:10:31.520
and keeping eye contact, smiling,

1331
01:10:31.520 --> 01:10:34.880
waving from time to time, you know, and it is good.

1332
01:10:34.880 --> 01:10:35.720
It's good practice.

1333
01:10:35.720 --> 01:10:37.760
So ladies, let's be friendly.

1334
01:10:37.760 --> 01:10:41.440
Let's be friendly and smile at people, okay?

1335
01:10:41.440 --> 01:10:42.380
All right, I love it.

1336
01:10:42.380 --> 01:10:43.480
Thank you so much for sharing.

1337
01:10:43.480 --> 01:10:44.760
Dee, go ahead.

1338
01:10:45.800 --> 01:10:47.720
Ooh, I was trying to run.

1339
01:10:47.720 --> 01:10:51.640
I was trying to run, like maybe I don't wanna speak.

1340
01:10:51.640 --> 01:10:53.640
Hello, Bethany, good to see you after a couple of years.

1341
01:10:53.640 --> 01:10:55.960
I don't even remember me, but I'm back.

1342
01:10:55.960 --> 01:10:57.240
Welcome back.

1343
01:10:57.240 --> 01:10:58.480
I'm back.

1344
01:10:58.480 --> 01:11:03.320
So what we spoke about was the lie,

1345
01:11:03.320 --> 01:11:08.320
and the lie of abandonment is one of the big ones.

1346
01:11:10.040 --> 01:11:15.000
I know it's a lie, but, and, I'm trying not to say but,

1347
01:11:15.000 --> 01:11:20.000
and it's examples are, I live far away.

1348
01:11:22.040 --> 01:11:26.320
I'm one of the, I live far away from my daughter,

1349
01:11:26.320 --> 01:11:29.560
son-in-law, grandchild, granddaughter, and that's okay.

1350
01:11:29.560 --> 01:11:31.720
You know, they live in the continental US.

1351
01:11:32.640 --> 01:11:36.280
And I, when things have gone really bad,

1352
01:11:36.280 --> 01:11:39.080
like with the wildfires and things like that,

1353
01:11:39.080 --> 01:11:41.680
it's not, you know, I just happened to realize

1354
01:11:41.680 --> 01:11:44.440
who was really there for me.

1355
01:11:45.360 --> 01:11:47.000
I'm independent.

1356
01:11:47.000 --> 01:11:49.240
I'm very much in my feminine energy.

1357
01:11:49.240 --> 01:11:51.280
So it's not that, but I am also used

1358
01:11:51.280 --> 01:11:52.280
to doing everything myself.

1359
01:11:52.280 --> 01:11:55.960
So that whole boss babe thing, or, you know, boss lady,

1360
01:11:56.800 --> 01:11:58.840
that's definitely something in my past, you know,

1361
01:11:58.840 --> 01:12:01.520
run my own business, you know,

1362
01:12:01.520 --> 01:12:02.880
always set up businesses from scratch,

1363
01:12:02.880 --> 01:12:04.560
always had to do things on my own.

1364
01:12:05.960 --> 01:12:07.520
I'm just trying to give you a picture.

1365
01:12:07.520 --> 01:12:08.360
I hope that's enough.

1366
01:12:08.360 --> 01:12:11.000
But, you know, a family where, you know,

1367
01:12:11.000 --> 01:12:13.960
mum and dad, six brothers.

1368
01:12:13.960 --> 01:12:15.680
So I was very much a tomboy.

1369
01:12:17.240 --> 01:12:20.120
And I appreciate, I saw all the, you know,

1370
01:12:20.120 --> 01:12:21.680
the whole gamut of malehood.

1371
01:12:21.680 --> 01:12:23.480
If you can say, you know, the bad, the good, everything.

1372
01:12:23.480 --> 01:12:24.720
My dad was an absolute gentleman.

1373
01:12:24.720 --> 01:12:26.200
My mum was an absolute lady.

1374
01:12:26.200 --> 01:12:29.680
I've had good examples, but in my own life,

1375
01:12:29.680 --> 01:12:32.360
some of what, my goodness, I can't,

1376
01:12:32.360 --> 01:12:33.200
forgive me, I can't remember what you said,

1377
01:12:33.200 --> 01:12:34.640
but you know, just about that.

1378
01:12:35.880 --> 01:12:38.720
The one that spoke earlier that was talking about,

1379
01:12:38.720 --> 01:12:40.640
oh goodness, the pretender.

1380
01:12:40.640 --> 01:12:43.040
It's so true, you know, just learning to just be quiet.

1381
01:12:43.040 --> 01:12:45.280
And I think part of that was because I had always

1382
01:12:45.280 --> 01:12:47.920
something to say that annoyed people with my brothers.

1383
01:12:47.920 --> 01:12:50.720
For instance, you know, I was the fifth child

1384
01:12:50.720 --> 01:12:54.560
and there was big gaps and whatever I said was valid,

1385
01:12:55.400 --> 01:12:56.960
but I'm just like, little girl, be quiet.

1386
01:12:56.960 --> 01:12:58.160
Just be quiet.

1387
01:12:58.160 --> 01:13:00.720
And because I was daddy's favourite and all of that.

1388
01:13:00.720 --> 01:13:02.320
So I, you know, I've unpacked some of it,

1389
01:13:02.320 --> 01:13:04.360
but I'm also working through it as, you know,

1390
01:13:04.360 --> 01:13:06.320
the sister that spoke just before, oh my goodness.

1391
01:13:06.320 --> 01:13:09.160
Like I'm kind of encouraging her it's a lie.

1392
01:13:09.160 --> 01:13:11.640
I'm a little, I'm in the same age range, shall we say.

1393
01:13:11.640 --> 01:13:12.880
I'm not bothered about age and all that.

1394
01:13:12.880 --> 01:13:15.200
I don't believe that there's lack,

1395
01:13:15.200 --> 01:13:18.080
but I do know that I have not been showing up as myself.

1396
01:13:18.080 --> 01:13:21.360
There's something in me sometimes is just like, you know,

1397
01:13:21.360 --> 01:13:23.240
when we go out on dates, you know, yeah, I'm not bothered.

1398
01:13:23.240 --> 01:13:24.840
And I actually don't feel like I'm bothered

1399
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:26.240
about what we eat.

1400
01:13:26.240 --> 01:13:27.400
You know, I have my preferences.

1401
01:13:27.400 --> 01:13:28.240
There's things I won't eat,

1402
01:13:28.240 --> 01:13:31.080
but I won't compromise my principles or my faith.

1403
01:13:31.080 --> 01:13:33.120
You know, we pray together before the meal

1404
01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:34.760
and, you know, things like that.

1405
01:13:34.760 --> 01:13:36.600
But I definitely know I've not been showing up.

1406
01:13:36.600 --> 01:13:38.600
There's a bit of pretender and a bit of,

1407
01:13:38.600 --> 01:13:39.760
what was the first one?

1408
01:13:41.160 --> 01:13:42.440
The liar.

1409
01:13:42.440 --> 01:13:43.440
The first one that I started on.

1410
01:13:43.440 --> 01:13:44.640
So there's lies, lies, lies.

1411
01:13:44.640 --> 01:13:47.320
Just lies about I'm being a liar, I'm alone.

1412
01:13:47.320 --> 01:13:48.160
There's lies.

1413
01:13:48.160 --> 01:13:50.040
I didn't mean to segue into a different one.

1414
01:13:50.040 --> 01:13:50.880
Forgive me.

1415
01:13:50.880 --> 01:13:51.720
It's okay.

1416
01:13:51.720 --> 01:13:52.560
Essentially I would say, you know,

1417
01:13:52.880 --> 01:13:53.720
that's a big one for me.

1418
01:13:53.720 --> 01:13:55.080
And I've been chipping away at it

1419
01:13:55.080 --> 01:13:56.400
because I know it's not true.

1420
01:13:56.400 --> 01:13:59.520
You know, my daughter and I, you know, we're very close.

1421
01:13:59.520 --> 01:14:01.840
Me and my son-in-law have gained a son, you know,

1422
01:14:01.840 --> 01:14:03.000
but they're far away.

1423
01:14:03.000 --> 01:14:07.720
And so I've just got over hurt with that in recent months,

1424
01:14:07.720 --> 01:14:09.760
thinking that they didn't care.

1425
01:14:09.760 --> 01:14:10.760
But they do.

1426
01:14:10.760 --> 01:14:12.280
You know, they're just going through stuff themselves,

1427
01:14:12.280 --> 01:14:13.760
you know, but it's just that lie.

1428
01:14:13.760 --> 01:14:16.000
It's a constant and it's something that I battle,

1429
01:14:16.000 --> 01:14:17.920
you know, and I battle, you know,

1430
01:14:17.920 --> 01:14:20.120
and I leave it to the Lord to, you know,

1431
01:14:20.120 --> 01:14:21.880
so that's all I'm sharing.

1432
01:14:21.920 --> 01:14:23.040
I'm oversharing and I'm sharing.

1433
01:14:23.040 --> 01:14:23.880
Forgive me.

1434
01:14:23.880 --> 01:14:24.720
I'm babbling now.

1435
01:14:24.720 --> 01:14:25.560
You're doing great.

1436
01:14:25.560 --> 01:14:27.520
So what did the Lord share with you

1437
01:14:27.520 --> 01:14:29.120
about the lie of abandonment,

1438
01:14:29.120 --> 01:14:32.520
about when did that first take root for you?

1439
01:14:32.520 --> 01:14:35.080
If you had a good family, which I believe you,

1440
01:14:35.080 --> 01:14:37.680
but like, when did that take root for you?

1441
01:14:37.680 --> 01:14:38.520
Here's the thing.

1442
01:14:38.520 --> 01:14:39.360
Let me say-

1443
01:14:39.360 --> 01:14:40.320
Saying good family.

1444
01:14:40.320 --> 01:14:41.480
Yeah.

1445
01:14:41.480 --> 01:14:44.600
I think this is important for me to pull this out right now.

1446
01:14:44.600 --> 01:14:47.400
If you remember the example I used in the book,

1447
01:14:47.400 --> 01:14:50.480
some of it isn't something that happened to us directly.

1448
01:14:50.480 --> 01:14:54.080
It might've happened to our parents or their parents

1449
01:14:54.080 --> 01:14:56.360
and it's coming down through generations.

1450
01:14:56.360 --> 01:15:00.280
So Dee could have gone through, and she's going to explain.

1451
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.000
could have gone through her own experiences that spoke a lie about abandonment,

1452
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:11.700
but she could also be dealing with and facing things that people before her never resolved.

1453
01:15:11.700 --> 01:15:13.700
Do y'all see how that works?

1454
01:15:13.700 --> 01:15:18.700
And I really do think that that's a part of it, but go ahead and tell me about abandonment.

1455
01:15:18.700 --> 01:15:22.700
Yeah, I'm going to try and keep it light, but something happened to me

1456
01:15:22.700 --> 01:15:26.700
with a family member when I was very young, and when that happened,

1457
01:15:27.400 --> 01:15:31.400
I literally ostracized myself from the family, like, my mum doesn't love me.

1458
01:15:31.400 --> 01:15:33.400
They didn't know. I was very young.

1459
01:15:33.400 --> 01:15:37.400
They didn't know what happened, but I know it was the enemy, I know,

1460
01:15:37.400 --> 01:15:40.400
and I've got a whole great testimony about it, I won't go into it now,

1461
01:15:40.400 --> 01:15:45.400
but the lie started there, the seed was planted that nobody cares,

1462
01:15:45.400 --> 01:15:49.400
my little brother, then I had a little brother that was born a few years later, the youngest,

1463
01:15:49.400 --> 01:15:54.400
and it was just, basically what happened was the person that did the thing was the favourite.

1464
01:15:55.100 --> 01:15:58.100
So in my mind, if I say something, they won't believe me.

1465
01:15:58.100 --> 01:16:01.100
That's where it started, and it's something I have really been working on,

1466
01:16:01.100 --> 01:16:04.100
and I'm very aware of that's what it is, that's where it started,

1467
01:16:04.100 --> 01:16:08.100
because my big aha moment came at 40 years later when I saw a sermon

1468
01:16:08.100 --> 01:16:11.100
that was talking about 40 years in the wilderness, literally, the Israelites,

1469
01:16:11.100 --> 01:16:15.100
and it was like, boom, oh my gosh, 40 years to the day, kind of,

1470
01:16:15.100 --> 01:16:19.100
it was like, oh my gosh, that's what happened, and I've been kind of tied in a lie

1471
01:16:19.100 --> 01:16:21.100
for 40 years by the enemy.

1472
01:16:21.100 --> 01:16:24.100
I realised exactly what had happened, I'd been tricked, I'd been lied,

1473
01:16:24.800 --> 01:16:27.800
and I ostracised myself and separated, and from that moment it was like,

1474
01:16:27.800 --> 01:16:30.800
I have to survive on my own, it's me, myself, and I,

1475
01:16:30.800 --> 01:16:34.800
literally as a young child under 10, which is sad, but here I am,

1476
01:16:34.800 --> 01:16:37.800
and I've come up through it, but I'm still working on it.

1477
01:16:38.800 --> 01:16:40.800
Well, and it's a process, ladies, okay?

1478
01:16:40.800 --> 01:16:43.800
I want you to understand, heart work is a continual process.

1479
01:16:43.800 --> 01:16:45.800
You're not going to be in the ICU your entire life.

1480
01:16:45.800 --> 01:16:50.800
We kind of consider this kind of like you're in that ICU incubator right now,

1481
01:16:50.800 --> 01:16:52.800
you're going through the deep stuff.

1482
01:16:53.500 --> 01:16:56.500
So there might be other things that are deep, but it's not going to feel

1483
01:16:56.500 --> 01:17:00.500
as intensive as it is, sometimes it might,

1484
01:17:00.500 --> 01:17:03.500
but it's not going to be that consistent for weeks, you know,

1485
01:17:03.500 --> 01:17:07.500
as you move forward, but I still use heart work principles and tools

1486
01:17:07.500 --> 01:17:10.500
long into marriage, you know, and all different kinds of things.

1487
01:17:10.500 --> 01:17:13.500
But what I want to say to you, Dee, two things.

1488
01:17:13.500 --> 01:17:18.500
On the independence, I want to encourage you to start praying this prayer.

1489
01:17:19.200 --> 01:17:24.200
Lord, I come out of agreement with independence.

1490
01:17:27.200 --> 01:17:30.200
That's the beginning part, and let me, tell me when you're ready.

1491
01:17:31.200 --> 01:17:33.200
I'm ready, I'm like, I wish I did shorthand still, but I don't.

1492
01:17:33.200 --> 01:17:34.200
It's okay.

1493
01:17:34.200 --> 01:17:37.200
So Lord, I come out of agreement with independence.

1494
01:17:37.200 --> 01:17:38.200
Okay.

1495
01:17:38.200 --> 01:17:44.200
And I come into agreement with interdependence.

1496
01:17:44.200 --> 01:17:45.200
Dependence.

1497
01:17:46.200 --> 01:17:48.200
Interdependence on you, God.

1498
01:17:48.900 --> 01:17:52.900
So basically we're saying goodbye to independence and we're saying,

1499
01:17:52.900 --> 01:17:54.900
God, I need you.

1500
01:17:55.900 --> 01:17:56.900
You're my provider.

1501
01:17:56.900 --> 01:17:57.900
You're my protector.

1502
01:17:57.900 --> 01:17:59.900
You're my defender.

1503
01:17:59.900 --> 01:18:03.900
And we're saying, I'm coming into agreement with interdependence on you, God.

1504
01:18:03.900 --> 01:18:05.900
I can't do anything apart from you.

1505
01:18:05.900 --> 01:18:08.900
We were talking about that even this weekend and Supernatural Saturday

1506
01:18:08.900 --> 01:18:11.900
that we would be filled with the Holy Spirit and that we wouldn't try

1507
01:18:11.900 --> 01:18:15.900
to even date or go through the heart work without the spirit.

1508
01:18:16.600 --> 01:18:17.600
But the flesh is weak.

1509
01:18:17.600 --> 01:18:19.600
You all are flesh is real weak.

1510
01:18:21.600 --> 01:18:23.600
But the spirit can be willing.

1511
01:18:23.600 --> 01:18:24.600
The spirit can be strong.

1512
01:18:24.600 --> 01:18:25.600
We got a fan that flame.

1513
01:18:25.600 --> 01:18:27.600
So we come out of agreement with independence.

1514
01:18:27.600 --> 01:18:28.600
That's thing.

1515
01:18:28.600 --> 01:18:29.600
Number one.

1516
01:18:29.600 --> 01:18:30.600
Number two.

1517
01:18:31.600 --> 01:18:34.600
When you said the thing about how you ostracized yourself from your

1518
01:18:34.600 --> 01:18:35.600
family, totally understand.

1519
01:18:35.600 --> 01:18:37.600
You don't even have to tell me the full story.

1520
01:18:37.600 --> 01:18:40.600
Understand why you did that and why that happened.

1521
01:18:40.600 --> 01:18:43.600
This is what I saw in my, in my spirit.

1522
01:18:44.300 --> 01:18:46.300
This is a prophetic activation that you're going to do.

1523
01:18:46.300 --> 01:18:47.300
So I want you to understand.

1524
01:18:47.300 --> 01:18:48.300
That's what this one is.

1525
01:18:48.300 --> 01:18:49.300
Okay.

1526
01:18:49.300 --> 01:18:53.300
I want you to, however, you need to do it.

1527
01:18:53.300 --> 01:18:59.300
I want you to create a family photo of you during that time.

1528
01:18:59.300 --> 01:19:01.300
Back in the family.

1529
01:19:03.300 --> 01:19:05.300
Do you understand what I mean?

1530
01:19:09.300 --> 01:19:10.300
Yeah.

1531
01:19:10.300 --> 01:19:12.300
So even if you were still there.

1532
01:19:13.000 --> 01:19:15.000
There was a large part of you that was,

1533
01:19:15.000 --> 01:19:17.000
you were separating yourself from them.

1534
01:19:17.000 --> 01:19:18.000
You were saying I'm ostracized.

1535
01:19:18.000 --> 01:19:20.000
I'm like, you're creating this distance.

1536
01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:23.000
You're, you're not, you know, connecting or communicating,

1537
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:25.000
whatever that looks like for you.

1538
01:19:25.000 --> 01:19:29.000
So you might've still been there, but on the inside, you weren't.

1539
01:19:29.000 --> 01:19:32.000
And so what I'm, what this activation,

1540
01:19:32.000 --> 01:19:37.000
I literally saw almost as if you created a family photo and you were

1541
01:19:37.000 --> 01:19:40.000
back in the family, but like, that's an internal thing that,

1542
01:19:40.000 --> 01:19:41.000
that, that choice.

1543
01:19:41.700 --> 01:19:43.700
And you might've already been making that choice,

1544
01:19:43.700 --> 01:19:48.700
but creating the picture with yourself in that timeframe and the age

1545
01:19:48.700 --> 01:19:52.700
of when that happened with that family member before you started

1546
01:19:52.700 --> 01:19:53.700
ostracizing yourself.

1547
01:19:53.700 --> 01:19:55.700
There's something about that.

1548
01:19:55.700 --> 01:19:59.700
That's going to create some kind of ripple effect of healing in you.

1549
01:19:59.700 --> 01:20:00.700
I really.

1550
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.160
believe that. And so again, pray into it, put it together, however, the Lord leads you to do it.

1551
01:20:06.160 --> 01:20:11.280
And let's just see what he shows you anything you need to process. You know, there might even be

1552
01:20:11.920 --> 01:20:16.080
additional layers of forgiveness that need to happen that come out of this, but

1553
01:20:16.080 --> 01:20:19.200
God, the Lord will lead you in it. And I think it's going to be really great.

1554
01:20:20.000 --> 01:20:25.760
But thank you. And yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, I used to actually say self-imposed X star exile was

1555
01:20:25.760 --> 01:20:30.960
what I did. But, um, you know, I imagine the photo, it can be in my mind, right. Cause I

1556
01:20:30.960 --> 01:20:35.040
don't actually have any images, but so it would have to be, I suppose, but, um,

1557
01:20:36.400 --> 01:20:43.360
you can draw stick figures. It really, the point is that you are a part of the family again.

1558
01:20:44.960 --> 01:20:50.480
Okay. All right. And you're choosing to be a part of the family again in the spirit.

1559
01:20:50.480 --> 01:20:54.080
Does that make sense? Thank you so much. It does. It does.

1560
01:20:54.080 --> 01:20:57.440
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing Katie. Go ahead.

1561
01:20:58.800 --> 01:21:04.800
Um, so the girls in my group, we all kind of were on the same page. We're the pretenders where you,

1562
01:21:05.520 --> 01:21:09.040
you know, everything's always okay. I know it's a big like meme now where it's like the dumpster

1563
01:21:09.040 --> 01:21:13.600
fires in the back and you're like, I'm fine. We're fine. Everything's fine. Um, I was a single mom

1564
01:21:13.600 --> 01:21:20.480
for so long that I couldn't slow down and, and, and like be real about what was actually going on.

1565
01:21:20.480 --> 01:21:24.240
So I constantly was like, everything's fine. You know, like my son one time literally had a

1566
01:21:24.240 --> 01:21:28.960
broken hand and I was like, you're fine. You're fine. You know, we have, we have ball practice.

1567
01:21:28.960 --> 01:21:33.040
We got to go. And our house floated one time. We lived in a hotel for a month. My daughter got hit

1568
01:21:33.040 --> 01:21:37.520
in the face with a softball. And it was like all this stuff in my world was blowing up. And I kept

1569
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:42.320
telling everybody I'm fine. It's okay. You know, and it's a joke now my kids are older, but it's

1570
01:21:42.320 --> 01:21:51.040
really not funny, but I've always just pretended like everything was fine or, um, I've kind of

1571
01:21:51.040 --> 01:21:56.080
learned now to say, no, I'm not fine. Like, I don't know what's not fine. Like I've gotten

1572
01:21:56.080 --> 01:22:01.840
better about it in the last year and I've learned different emotions and stuff, but, um, to be able

1573
01:22:01.840 --> 01:22:07.840
to be like, I'm not fine. Give me a minute. I'll figure out why, but I very much feel like the

1574
01:22:07.840 --> 01:22:11.760
pretender is part of it. And I remember as a kid, my mom always be like, somebody has it worse.

1575
01:22:12.320 --> 01:22:15.920
And I've recently been like, mom, that's not helpful. When you say that, I understand that

1576
01:22:15.920 --> 01:22:19.920
somebody else has it worse, but this is my feeling. This is what's happening in my world.

1577
01:22:19.920 --> 01:22:24.800
And it's real to me. So the pretender was probably the biggest one in mind.

1578
01:22:26.480 --> 01:22:31.440
Yeah. And I, I love that you're acknowledging your feelings and you're actually verbalizing

1579
01:22:31.440 --> 01:22:34.880
that to your mom, like, and letting her know, Hey, like saying that isn't helping me.

1580
01:22:35.440 --> 01:22:40.160
Um, and people mean well, when they say that kind of stuff, but it really isn't helpful for us.

1581
01:22:40.160 --> 01:22:45.600
Right. Um, and so I wrote down before you shared about what your mom said to you,

1582
01:22:46.160 --> 01:22:51.440
who did you learn that from the I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. And I'm thinking it's probably mom.

1583
01:22:52.800 --> 01:23:00.960
So have you forgiven your mom for kind of putting that blanket of you need to be fine. Other people

1584
01:23:00.960 --> 01:23:06.000
have it worse than you over you. Oh, yeah. Um, especially throughout the heartwork program,

1585
01:23:06.000 --> 01:23:10.000
I've noticed other lies, like all men are bad or, you know, my mom always taught me

1586
01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:14.560
not to have a friend. Like you, you do it on your own. That independence is very,

1587
01:23:14.560 --> 01:23:17.440
you know, interesting. Why does she tell you not to have a friend?

1588
01:23:18.240 --> 01:23:22.080
Um, well, she didn't physically say it, but she never had friends. Like my parents always had

1589
01:23:22.080 --> 01:23:26.080
lots of friends, but they were not really friends. They were just like acquaintances. They would have

1590
01:23:26.080 --> 01:23:30.720
big parties, but mom never really had anybody she would call. She would never tell the truth

1591
01:23:30.720 --> 01:23:36.400
of what was going on in our house, anybody. Um, and so I actually brought that to her attention

1592
01:23:36.400 --> 01:23:41.280
recently. And I was like, you taught me not to have friends like, and here I am in this,

1593
01:23:41.280 --> 01:23:46.400
in this season in my life where I don't really have a best friend. My friend walked away from

1594
01:23:46.400 --> 01:23:51.040
me back. Well, God removed that friend back in January. And I just am in a season where I don't

1595
01:23:51.040 --> 01:23:55.200
have friends. So it was funny when you said earlier, you just don't have them yet. So I like

1596
01:23:55.200 --> 01:24:00.400
that. But, um, I think mom just couldn't tell anybody the truth. She was very much a pretender.

1597
01:24:00.400 --> 01:24:03.840
She didn't want anybody to know what was going on behind closed doors.

1598
01:24:04.880 --> 01:24:08.960
Yeah. And so as you're continuing to process this, Katie,

1599
01:24:08.960 --> 01:24:14.320
I just want to encourage you to, um, start thanking God for redeeming your family timeline.

1600
01:24:16.560 --> 01:24:21.600
Because not only is he redeeming your timeline, I believe he wants to redeem the whole family

1601
01:24:21.600 --> 01:24:28.560
timeline where mom and dad were making decisions like this. And mom was just saying she was okay.

1602
01:24:28.640 --> 01:24:34.000
And probably really wasn't. She's probably really struggling. And for whatever reason,

1603
01:24:34.000 --> 01:24:38.160
maybe because she was taught that, you know, who knows, and maybe one day she'll tell you,

1604
01:24:38.720 --> 01:24:43.840
but for now praying that God will go throughout your whole timeline and just thank him, thank him

1605
01:24:43.840 --> 01:24:48.160
for healing it. You don't have to say, God, please do this. Just thank you God for coming

1606
01:24:48.160 --> 01:24:53.760
into my family timeline and healing and restoring and redeeming any broken and fallen place and

1607
01:24:53.760 --> 01:24:59.760
help me Lord to continue to step in as a kinsman redeemer, to create change for the future.

1608
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.380
generations to come behind me. And Lord, thank you for bringing

1609
01:25:03.380 --> 01:25:07.000
me a best friend that I can really do life with that will

1610
01:25:07.000 --> 01:25:11.020
get me and we can have fun. And whatever you know, that that

1611
01:25:11.020 --> 01:25:15.900
dream of like that friend is for you. Now we we we thank God and

1612
01:25:15.900 --> 01:25:19.500
we pray for it. But we keep moving forward and don't partner

1613
01:25:19.500 --> 01:25:23.260
with I never have any friends don't partner with that stuff,

1614
01:25:23.260 --> 01:25:27.580
ladies. Even if in our current situation, I have to watch this

1615
01:25:27.580 --> 01:25:31.800
too. Having moved all the way from Kentucky, then Indiana now

1616
01:25:31.800 --> 01:25:34.440
down to Florida year, we're almost a year that we've been

1617
01:25:34.440 --> 01:25:42.220
here. I mean, yeah, I don't have any friends here in Florida that

1618
01:25:42.220 --> 01:25:45.700
I can go hang out with. It'll be very easy for me to constantly

1619
01:25:45.780 --> 01:25:48.440
like partner with that because the enemy is trying to convince

1620
01:25:48.440 --> 01:25:51.820
me you don't have anybody there for you if you really need

1621
01:25:51.820 --> 01:25:54.380
something. Because you know, we pastor a church, you can't just

1622
01:25:54.380 --> 01:25:57.020
be friends with everybody in the church. That's not how it works.

1623
01:25:57.260 --> 01:26:03.060
You know, but that's not true. I have friends. I just don't have

1624
01:26:03.060 --> 01:26:07.140
any here local that I hang out with yet. But I'm working on

1625
01:26:07.140 --> 01:26:09.780
that. We're working on that. We're hanging out with other

1626
01:26:09.780 --> 01:26:13.220
pastor and leader couples. And, you know, we can prime that

1627
01:26:13.220 --> 01:26:17.820
pump, if you will, and allow God to do the rest. And so we don't

1628
01:26:17.820 --> 01:26:23.940
partner with I choose to not partner with thoughts like this

1629
01:26:23.940 --> 01:26:27.620
is too hard. Or I don't have like nobody loves me. I don't

1630
01:26:27.620 --> 01:26:30.100
have anybody there for me. I have to have to come out of

1631
01:26:30.100 --> 01:26:33.980
alignment with that stuff. And I have a best friend in my house

1632
01:26:33.980 --> 01:26:37.980
built in every single day. He's an awesome best friend. And you

1633
01:26:37.980 --> 01:26:40.100
all are going to have that one day too. I believe that and I

1634
01:26:40.100 --> 01:26:42.780
speak that if you choose healthy, if you choose healthy,

1635
01:26:42.780 --> 01:26:45.660
you can have that too. Amy would love to hear what you have to

1636
01:26:45.660 --> 01:26:56.060
say. Hi. Hi. So my sharing was lies. I am I'm good at sharing

1637
01:26:56.060 --> 01:27:00.380
that live. I'm not worthy of love. I'm unlovable. I've heard

1638
01:27:00.380 --> 01:27:03.260
that from several men that I've dated and I've carried it with

1639
01:27:03.260 --> 01:27:08.860
me. And before we even went into the lies, I was writing these

1640
01:27:08.860 --> 01:27:14.060
things down. And the one that resonates with me now because

1641
01:27:14.060 --> 01:27:18.140
I'm 50 and I'm still single. I do not choose good men. So I

1642
01:27:18.140 --> 01:27:22.900
have vowed to wait for God this time, because I'm not going

1643
01:27:22.900 --> 01:27:26.940
through it again. But my newest lie is that I'm not good at

1644
01:27:26.940 --> 01:27:33.180
relationships. And so I am pretty sure it's all protection

1645
01:27:33.380 --> 01:27:36.340
more than like the from the disappointment of still being

1646
01:27:36.340 --> 01:27:42.140
single. But yes, I always I tend to keep those lies going and I

1647
01:27:42.140 --> 01:27:45.700
was sharing in my group like and I even met in the chat, I

1648
01:27:45.700 --> 01:27:51.020
said, memes, what a beautiful way to laugh at your lie and

1649
01:27:51.020 --> 01:27:56.540
make it a joke, but it's still the same lie. And so it was kind

1650
01:27:56.540 --> 01:28:00.020
of like an epiphany for me when I actually typed that I'm like,

1651
01:28:00.060 --> 01:28:05.020
I send these jokey memes and these jokey quotes, and oh my

1652
01:28:05.020 --> 01:28:07.980
gosh, she's still single. Oh my gosh, your ex, blah, blah, blah,

1653
01:28:08.020 --> 01:28:11.140
you know, funny narcissist jokes, but they're not funny

1654
01:28:11.140 --> 01:28:16.660
because they're just continuing to instill that lie in me, even

1655
01:28:16.660 --> 01:28:21.580
though I'm laughing at them. And so it was a huge wake up. It's

1656
01:28:21.580 --> 01:28:23.700
called my, my love language.

1657
01:28:24.700 --> 01:28:27.660
But here's the thing, ladies, did you know that sarcasm is a

1658
01:28:27.660 --> 01:28:31.260
self preservation technique? Absolutely. It is. It's

1659
01:28:31.260 --> 01:28:34.540
terrible. And here, this is the thing, we don't have to beat

1660
01:28:34.540 --> 01:28:39.180
ourselves up about it. But we need to realize that, you know,

1661
01:28:39.180 --> 01:28:43.740
at some point, and this is the key, when did that kick in for

1662
01:28:43.740 --> 01:28:48.060
us? When was the first time we started being sarcastic or

1663
01:28:48.060 --> 01:28:51.780
joking about it? Or saying, you know, I'm just not good at

1664
01:28:51.780 --> 01:28:55.180
relationships or you know, whatever, whatever that thing

1665
01:28:55.180 --> 01:28:58.220
is, when is the first time we started partnering with that?

1666
01:28:58.740 --> 01:29:04.100
When our heart got broken? Okay, probably related to a guy or

1667
01:29:04.100 --> 01:29:07.820
could been, you know, something dad said over you or mom

1668
01:29:07.820 --> 01:29:11.900
regarding relationships that you're now living into, without

1669
01:29:11.900 --> 01:29:13.860
realizing that's happening because of what's in your

1670
01:29:13.860 --> 01:29:20.700
subconscious. Well, sarcasm is is literally we're denying

1671
01:29:20.740 --> 01:29:25.020
oftentimes what we actually really want. And we're making

1672
01:29:25.020 --> 01:29:29.860
jokes about it and trying to use humor to pretend that we don't

1673
01:29:29.860 --> 01:29:30.660
really want it.

1674
01:29:31.700 --> 01:29:36.260
Yeah, going back to was it Katie before me? It's fine. Yeah,

1675
01:29:36.300 --> 01:29:40.900
fine. Yes. Yeah, it's that same thing. And so this was a really

1676
01:29:40.900 --> 01:29:43.380
good practice for me, because I was jotting things down the

1677
01:29:43.380 --> 01:29:46.500
whole time. And I was like, Okay, I have a lot I have work

1678
01:29:46.500 --> 01:29:48.500
to do. But at least I see it now.

1679
01:29:48.660 --> 01:29:53.460
Yeah, 100% 100%. And I was kind of expanding on that, because

1680
01:29:53.460 --> 01:29:56.860
someone asked in the chat, can you explain how surf sarcasm is

1681
01:29:56.860 --> 01:29:59.180
self preservation, just so you know, so you're doing great,

1682
01:29:59.180 --> 01:30:00.020
Amy, keep moving.

1683
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.160
thing. You've been getting so much breakthrough. It's exciting.

1684
01:30:03.800 --> 01:30:09.120
I do want you this week to also the men who told you that you

1685
01:30:09.120 --> 01:30:13.960
were unlovable, just really make sure you're coming out of

1686
01:30:13.960 --> 01:30:16.800
agreement with the lie that you're unlovable because you're

1687
01:30:16.800 --> 01:30:20.520
absolutely lovable. You're incredible. And your spirit

1688
01:30:20.520 --> 01:30:22.900
mate, when he finds you, he's going to know he's found a good

1689
01:30:22.900 --> 01:30:26.160
thing. And that's what Proverbs 18.22 says. And I believe that

1690
01:30:26.160 --> 01:30:30.600
for you. And he's, you know, your spirit mate is gonna like

1691
01:30:30.600 --> 01:30:33.600
be highlighted to you. If you all do this the way we coach

1692
01:30:33.600 --> 01:30:37.380
you and you walk it out. When you meet your spirit mate, he's

1693
01:30:37.380 --> 01:30:39.120
going to be highlighted to you and you're going to be

1694
01:30:39.120 --> 01:30:43.040
highlighted to him. Okay, you'll know. And it's not just that

1695
01:30:43.040 --> 01:30:46.240
it's only one person out of the whole world, but all you do need

1696
01:30:46.240 --> 01:30:50.640
is one. Okay, so you all might not be there yet. We're gonna

1697
01:30:50.640 --> 01:30:54.040
see keep saying that tonight, but keep moving, keep healing

1698
01:30:54.040 --> 01:30:56.860
and you'll you'll be really amazed at what God leads you

1699
01:30:56.860 --> 01:30:59.000
into. Naomi, go ahead.

1700
01:31:02.200 --> 01:31:09.200
Hi. Hi. Well, I'm not sure if it's a liar or possible. But

1701
01:31:09.880 --> 01:31:14.640
because I've been healing this life that I'm not good enough.

1702
01:31:15.120 --> 01:31:20.880
But it's like, there are a lot of things under it under it. So

1703
01:31:20.880 --> 01:31:23.600
it's like, I've been healing and I don't know why it keeps

1704
01:31:23.600 --> 01:31:27.360
showing up. So for example, when I want to meet someone or

1705
01:31:27.360 --> 01:31:31.080
like, I like someone is like, I will disqualify myself

1706
01:31:31.160 --> 01:31:34.880
immediately. And I will be thinking like, Oh, I'm not good

1707
01:31:34.880 --> 01:31:38.800
enough for that person. So I cannot even like, meet other

1708
01:31:38.800 --> 01:31:42.320
person because it will be like that. But that didn't happen to

1709
01:31:42.320 --> 01:31:48.520
me before, like I will meet people. And okay, so now it

1710
01:31:48.760 --> 01:31:54.360
comes to my mind that, for example, maybe I'm tired of

1711
01:31:54.360 --> 01:32:00.160
meeting people and not happening. That is what came to

1712
01:32:00.160 --> 01:32:03.000
my mind right now that maybe it's that maybe I'm tired of

1713
01:32:03.000 --> 01:32:07.520
meeting people and not going anywhere. And that's why I

1714
01:32:07.520 --> 01:32:11.400
decided like, okay, I'm not gonna meet this person because I

1715
01:32:11.400 --> 01:32:14.080
know what is gonna, what is going to happen.

1716
01:32:16.520 --> 01:32:17.240
Yeah.

1717
01:32:17.680 --> 01:32:20.880
I will disqualify myself, I will disqualify myself because I

1718
01:32:20.880 --> 01:32:25.040
will be like, well, I'm not like that other person or like that

1719
01:32:25.040 --> 01:32:29.760
other woman. Yeah. But it's not always. So here's the thing I

1720
01:32:29.760 --> 01:32:30.560
have filmed.

1721
01:32:31.320 --> 01:32:33.080
Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

1722
01:32:33.760 --> 01:32:39.920
Even if I have, I have feel like this is a big lie that I have in

1723
01:32:39.920 --> 01:32:45.280
my life. Because I've been feeling a lot about it. So a lot

1724
01:32:46.120 --> 01:32:46.800
Okay, like,

1725
01:32:48.640 --> 01:32:51.360
okay, I just want to make sure I understood what you're saying.

1726
01:32:52.160 --> 01:32:57.880
So here's the thing. Anytime we have a repeated story that we're

1727
01:32:57.880 --> 01:33:02.040
telling ourselves, that's a cue right there. That's a flag. We

1728
01:33:02.040 --> 01:33:04.920
need to come out of agreement with that. Because basically,

1729
01:33:04.920 --> 01:33:07.920
you're it's the again, that self preservation stuff's kicking in

1730
01:33:07.920 --> 01:33:12.600
because your mind is your your mind, your broken heart that's

1731
01:33:12.600 --> 01:33:17.120
being fed, going right into your mind telling you, hey, you

1732
01:33:17.120 --> 01:33:20.400
this isn't going to go anywhere. So you might as well not even

1733
01:33:20.400 --> 01:33:24.120
try. You're tired of this. You can't keep doing this. You know,

1734
01:33:24.120 --> 01:33:26.800
the the person that's overwhelmed, and they just shut

1735
01:33:26.800 --> 01:33:31.280
down will overwhelm you all underneath of that is is healing

1736
01:33:31.280 --> 01:33:36.680
that needs to happen. Okay. So anytime you're disqualifying

1737
01:33:36.720 --> 01:33:43.120
disqualifying yourselves, ladies before you even try, well, that

1738
01:33:43.120 --> 01:33:47.160
is definitely a signal of low self esteem and low value. You

1739
01:33:47.160 --> 01:33:54.320
don't see your value in yourself. Because why would we

1740
01:33:54.320 --> 01:33:58.520
think, hey, I'm not even a try, because that's not going to go

1741
01:33:58.520 --> 01:34:00.440
anywhere, because I'm not enough. I'm not this, I'm not

1742
01:34:00.440 --> 01:34:04.680
that, versus the what I just said, like a man who found has

1743
01:34:04.680 --> 01:34:08.520
found his wife has found a good thing. Are you a good thing? Do

1744
01:34:08.520 --> 01:34:12.120
you believe that you're a good thing? And that any like I use

1745
01:34:12.120 --> 01:34:15.480
this recently, like when you walk into a room, do you believe

1746
01:34:15.480 --> 01:34:18.200
that you fill that room, and that the power of the Holy

1747
01:34:18.200 --> 01:34:22.080
Spirit is in you and that everything changes and becomes

1748
01:34:22.080 --> 01:34:27.040
more beautiful and amazing? Or do you believe that people don't

1749
01:34:27.040 --> 01:34:30.160
even notice that you're there and they could care less if

1750
01:34:30.160 --> 01:34:34.200
you're there? Whether that room has people in it or not? What do

1751
01:34:34.200 --> 01:34:38.440
you believe about yourself? I believe and I had to learn this.

1752
01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:44.080
I had to learn that. Like when I come into a room, and this isn't

1753
01:34:44.080 --> 01:34:47.600
a prideful thing. This is genuinely I had to learn that I

1754
01:34:47.600 --> 01:34:53.000
have value, and that God put his spirit in me his God colors. And

1755
01:34:53.000 --> 01:34:57.680
when I come into a room, man, I light that place up. Do I always

1756
01:34:57.680 --> 01:35:00.040
feel that way? In my flesh?

1757
01:35:00.320 --> 01:35:06.160
No, sometimes I'm tired and worn out and fatigued and all of the kinds of things that people

1758
01:35:06.160 --> 01:35:11.200
experience. Sometimes I have down days, but the reality is, is I have to come out of agreement

1759
01:35:11.200 --> 01:35:17.760
with that stuff and partner with what heaven says. So what is heaven saying over you, Naomi?

1760
01:35:17.760 --> 01:35:22.880
Who does God say that you are? What does God have to say about the relationships that you're just

1761
01:35:22.880 --> 01:35:28.640
disqualifying yourself? You know, these people, maybe they could have been relationships. We

1762
01:35:28.640 --> 01:35:34.000
don't know, but at the core, let's ask the Lord to reveal to you the first time that you

1763
01:35:34.000 --> 01:35:39.920
disqualified yourself. Let's, let's ask him to reveal that and then start to process the

1764
01:35:39.920 --> 01:35:45.840
first time you disqualified yourself and why you did that. And maybe that will heal whatever's

1765
01:35:45.840 --> 01:35:55.040
going on there. That's now causing you to live that out again. Okay. Good. Awesome. All right.

1766
01:35:55.040 --> 01:35:59.760
I see Holly. Go ahead, Holly. We have one more and then we're going to pray and close up tonight,

1767
01:35:59.760 --> 01:36:09.280
ladies. Okay. So breakout room, the first thing that came up to me was a pretender.

1768
01:36:10.240 --> 01:36:17.120
And, um, my struggle with the pretender is I feel like I have to,

1769
01:36:17.440 --> 01:36:25.760
maybe it's a mix of pretender and the liar, but I have to be dishonest about my desire for marriage.

1770
01:36:30.640 --> 01:36:38.720
In front of me, because I'm 46 and, you know, you feel like there's such a stigma,

1771
01:36:38.720 --> 01:36:45.680
like what's wrong with them? They're still single. And I know God has marriage,

1772
01:36:45.680 --> 01:36:49.360
I know God has marriage coming up for me in this next season. I know it,

1773
01:36:50.320 --> 01:36:55.360
um, I've had words about it and I know it's coming, but,

1774
01:36:57.600 --> 01:37:04.000
you know, sometimes I'm concerned that I'm not fully embracing it because I'm still scared

1775
01:37:06.000 --> 01:37:08.000
to say it, you know, in front of a lot of people.

1776
01:37:09.040 --> 01:37:13.360
So tell me who are the people that you're the most afraid to say it in front of? Who are those people?

1777
01:37:13.920 --> 01:37:20.400
Um, I don't know. And I don't even know if it's really about the people or about me and just

1778
01:37:20.400 --> 01:37:26.160
depending on how I'm feeling. Okay. Do you, who are they friends? Are they people at church?

1779
01:37:27.600 --> 01:37:34.720
No, I'm pretty good about saying it in front of most people at church and friends ish, you know,

1780
01:37:34.720 --> 01:37:41.600
but I, I'd probably say it's more like in my new job and different people. Um, I don't want to say

1781
01:37:42.480 --> 01:37:46.080
when I get married, I've noticed I've been saying if I get married and then,

1782
01:37:47.680 --> 01:37:51.840
you know, and then I'm like, Oh, I shouldn't have said that, but I'm so worried about the judgment

1783
01:37:51.840 --> 01:37:58.080
that, you know, the, Oh, you know, what's wrong with her. She's still 46 and single, you know,

1784
01:37:59.360 --> 01:38:09.280
46 is pretty young. Just saying. Thank you. I'm about to be 47 y'all. And guess what? We're

1785
01:38:09.280 --> 01:38:13.760
young. We're young. And even if you're older than that, you're young too. All right. Let's

1786
01:38:13.760 --> 01:38:19.360
partner with young. Do you know that God says in his word that he can give us vitality and long

1787
01:38:19.360 --> 01:38:26.880
life? I want some of y'all to think about that. Some of you that think you're too far gone.

1788
01:38:28.240 --> 01:38:32.720
Ooh, I feel the Holy spirit on that. You think you're too far gone. You're too old.

1789
01:38:32.720 --> 01:38:36.880
The enemy's trying to convince you that you don't even have enough life left to live with that

1790
01:38:36.880 --> 01:38:43.520
person. Okay. Somebody has been believing that lie because the Holy spirit is lighting my body up.

1791
01:38:45.520 --> 01:38:51.600
That's a lie from the pit of hell because God wants you to know tonight that vitality and long

1792
01:38:51.600 --> 01:38:56.800
life is going to be yours. And you're going to enjoy that time with your spirit, man. It's going

1793
01:38:56.800 --> 01:39:06.080
to be amazing. Yeah. So Holly let's not partner with I'm old and I I'm like too far gone for

1794
01:39:06.080 --> 01:39:12.720
marriage and let's partner with, Hey man, Lord, thank you for sending me a spirit mate. Thank you

1795
01:39:12.720 --> 01:39:17.920
for helping me prepare. I'm in a preparation season right now, just like Esther was. Thank

1796
01:39:17.920 --> 01:39:23.920
you for showing me what I need to heal. The areas that I need to allow you to come in and help me

1797
01:39:23.920 --> 01:39:28.800
receive your love and help me to receive good things so that when my spirit mate comes, I'm

1798
01:39:28.800 --> 01:39:34.560
going to be able to receive him too. Where you just start ladies. And I know it sounds, I don't

1799
01:39:34.560 --> 01:39:41.120
mean to make it sound easy. Okay. I know this is not always easy, but genuinely you all, it's not

1800
01:39:41.120 --> 01:39:48.480
about behavior change. It's not about just name it, claim it heart healing and bind with declaring

1801
01:39:48.480 --> 01:39:56.080
the truth, declaring the truth. It will shift things before you even get there. Do you believe

1802
01:39:56.080 --> 01:39:59.680
that you're a bride? Yeah.

1803
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.720
believe right now. Do you believe that you're a bride?

1804
01:40:07.120 --> 01:40:12.200
You got to get it down in there deep, deep ladies. I'm a bride.

1805
01:40:13.080 --> 01:40:16.280
The Lord told me before Brian ever came into my life, Brian is

1806
01:40:16.280 --> 01:40:20.240
my husband, that I needed his partner with the truth. Sorry,

1807
01:40:20.240 --> 01:40:23.600
y'all shaking your partner with the truth that I was a bride.

1808
01:40:24.280 --> 01:40:27.320
And that started when I went to the retreat in Austin and Jackie

1809
01:40:27.320 --> 01:40:30.560
pulled out these sashes that said, I'm a bride, these white

1810
01:40:30.560 --> 01:40:32.960
sashes, she made us wear them out in public. And I almost

1811
01:40:32.960 --> 01:40:36.560
panicked. I mean, all kinds of stuff it did on the inside. I

1812
01:40:36.560 --> 01:40:39.640
mean, I came home, I had the white dress, she made it, we all

1813
01:40:39.640 --> 01:40:43.560
had to wear white that night. And I came home and then I was

1814
01:40:43.560 --> 01:40:46.040
helping, I was starting to lead in the community that was just

1815
01:40:46.040 --> 01:40:48.520
right in the beginning when I was starting to lead and, and I

1816
01:40:48.520 --> 01:40:52.520
was leading on Saturdays a lot of time back then. And, and God

1817
01:40:52.520 --> 01:40:56.920
told me to get my white dress on and get my bride sash on and

1818
01:40:56.920 --> 01:41:00.880
lead that prayer and declare to everybody that I was a bride and

1819
01:41:00.880 --> 01:41:04.680
then get them to declare that they were brides too. And it

1820
01:41:04.680 --> 01:41:07.880
started this whole thing in our community for a long time. We

1821
01:41:07.880 --> 01:41:10.400
were, we were literally getting on live stuff with our bride

1822
01:41:10.400 --> 01:41:14.240
gear on. Okay. And, and literally I would walk around my

1823
01:41:14.240 --> 01:41:17.760
apartment, like, God, thank you. I'm a bride. Um, I back then, my

1824
01:41:17.760 --> 01:41:20.560
name was Stanko. I Bethany Stanko, I'm a bride. And I would

1825
01:41:20.560 --> 01:41:26.280
just talk to my spirit and speak truth over myself. And that

1826
01:41:26.280 --> 01:41:32.800
changed so much for me. It did. If you all can't, even when

1827
01:41:32.800 --> 01:41:37.040
you're by yourself, really believe that you're a bride,

1828
01:41:38.520 --> 01:41:41.880
it's going to, again, it's going to be harder when you're moving

1829
01:41:41.880 --> 01:41:44.920
on and you're trying to meet someone, you're going to panic

1830
01:41:45.600 --> 01:41:47.800
and you're going to strive again, trying to make the bride

1831
01:41:47.800 --> 01:41:53.920
thing happen. But if you receive it in your spirit now, Lord,

1832
01:41:53.920 --> 01:41:58.240
help me to help me to receive the truth that I am a bride.

1833
01:41:58.640 --> 01:42:01.880
You've made me a bride and you're going to lead me to my

1834
01:42:01.880 --> 01:42:05.680
spirit mate as I heal. As I go, you're going to, you're going to

1835
01:42:05.680 --> 01:42:09.480
guide me. The word declares that he is the voice behind us

1836
01:42:09.480 --> 01:42:13.080
telling us the way to go and that he lights a path, a lamp

1837
01:42:13.080 --> 01:42:18.080
onto our feet and a light onto our path. If we partner with the

1838
01:42:18.080 --> 01:42:20.960
fact that he will not leave us or forsake us, that he's always

1839
01:42:20.960 --> 01:42:24.080
with us and we partner with him. We don't just wait for him

1840
01:42:24.080 --> 01:42:27.880
to, I wanted him to bring, I literally all did. I wanted him

1841
01:42:27.880 --> 01:42:32.120
to bring my spirit mate to my door. That's what I literally, I

1842
01:42:32.120 --> 01:42:35.800
actually prayed it. I know some of you probably prayed that

1843
01:42:35.800 --> 01:42:41.280
too. All right. But here's the thing. God has all kinds of

1844
01:42:41.280 --> 01:42:43.800
plans of how he's going to bring your spirit mate. Now, some of

1845
01:42:43.800 --> 01:42:46.680
you might have someone come to your door. I'm not saying it

1846
01:42:46.680 --> 01:42:50.720
can't happen, but I actually, you know what, had to get on a

1847
01:42:50.720 --> 01:42:53.480
dating app again. And I said, I was never going to do that ever

1848
01:42:53.480 --> 01:42:56.360
again. After I met the girl's dad, cause that's how I met him.

1849
01:42:57.360 --> 01:43:01.760
And I was terrified that I was going to get schemed again and

1850
01:43:01.760 --> 01:43:04.400
have some guy tell me he was a Christian and all this stuff

1851
01:43:04.400 --> 01:43:12.280
when he was not living that way. So I had to face my fears after

1852
01:43:12.280 --> 01:43:15.160
many conversations with Jackie prodding me, it wasn't just a

1853
01:43:15.160 --> 01:43:18.080
decision I made. She, and she nudged me and she nudged, it was

1854
01:43:18.080 --> 01:43:24.800
a Holy spirit too. Yes, I did. I met Brian on an app and we'll

1855
01:43:24.800 --> 01:43:27.720
talk about that when y'all get into the other phases, y'all

1856
01:43:27.720 --> 01:43:31.600
hear more of my story, but, um, yeah, I did. And you know what?

1857
01:43:31.600 --> 01:43:34.280
There's a lot of people meeting men and community too. It's

1858
01:43:34.280 --> 01:43:37.600
happening in multiple ways. So I want y'all just to receive, but

1859
01:43:37.600 --> 01:43:40.440
while you're here in heartwork, let's just start with the

1860
01:43:40.440 --> 01:43:44.280
belief that you're a bride. Let's start there. And some of

1861
01:43:44.280 --> 01:43:47.000
you might need to go out and buy some bride gear and start

1862
01:43:47.200 --> 01:43:53.040
wearing it to activate that, to partner with that. Okay. I know

1863
01:43:53.040 --> 01:43:56.560
we went long again. I said, we weren't here. We are. I'm going

1864
01:43:56.560 --> 01:43:59.480
to pray us out, Holly. Thank you for sharing. We're going to be

1865
01:43:59.480 --> 01:44:02.840
praying for you. And you all remember partner with I'm young.

1866
01:44:04.120 --> 01:44:06.680
God, thank you that I'm going to experience the goodness of God

1867
01:44:06.680 --> 01:44:09.920
in the land of the living. And that includes my spirit, me

1868
01:44:10.920 --> 01:44:15.520
father. Thank you so much for tonight. Thank you for your

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truth and your hope in your life. We thank you God that you

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would reveal areas for healing, bring things out of darkness

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into the light so that we can receive the fullness of your

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plans and your promises for us, including, um, the spirit mate

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and the love story that you have for us, Lord, where we doubt

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where we have unbelief, help our unbelief. God, we ask you to

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breathe hope, breathe life, breathe faith. Yes, Lord. We

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ask for an impartation of the gift of faith into these ladies

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to believe Lord in what they can't see God, just like we

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can't see the Holy spirit. We can't see you moving, but we

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know you're there. We know God that you're working in ways that

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we can't even ask think or imagine in our lives right now.

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We thank you for supernatural healing, accelerating healing,

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happening in their souls. God, we thank you, God, that you would give them Selah rest,

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that you would connect dots, that revelation after revelation and insight would come very

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quickly. God, we thank you for it. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Hey, you all, here's

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the one thing I know sometimes I get to talking about the bride stuff and I get all excited

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and I want you all to look forward to the next phase. I do, but I don't want you all

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to rush to get there because y'all will get tripped up doing that. Okay. So even though

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I get you excited, I want you to partner with I'm a bride, but I want you to keep doing

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the hard work. Stay dialed in. Okay. Stay dialed in. And God has great things in store

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for you. All right. Love you all. I'll see you all in the groups. And if anyone, I saw

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a couple of their hands that were up that went down. I know we were running out of time.

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Please put your post in the group so I can respond to you there. Okay. God bless you.

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Have a great night. Thank you.