Hello, everyone. Welcome. Hi, happy Monday. So glad to be here with you tonight for another
time of just connecting and hearing what God is saying to us as a community, but ultimately
for you all to hear what God is saying to you about your heart healing journey. We're
so glad that you're here with us. If we have any new ladies, you're here for your first
live session. You've never been here before. Can you put that in the chat for me so we
can welcome you? We want to kind of just give you a little shout out. Our welcoming committee,
those that are returning. Welcome back. So glad to see so many of you. Some of you I
know, man, God's been giving you such breakthrough and I'm so excited for you all. Praying for
you all. Melissa's first meeting. Welcome, Melissa. Anna's new. Welcome. Leslie Provard
is new. I hope I said that right. Alexander Radford is new. Awesome. Four new ladies tonight.
There might be more as more people join. Kate, welcome. Kelsey. Gosh, we're already at six.
That's awesome. Y'all, our community is growing and it's such an exciting time just to be
here and to get to journey with all of you. My name's Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master
heartwork coaches in this community. I do a lot of other stuff as well. I'm on the staff
for last year's single. It's just such a blessing and an honor to get to be here, as I was saying.
And so tonight we're going to dive into some content. For those of you that are joining
for your first time, we're going to do, I'm going to do the content first, and then I'm
actually going to share your activations. I think right when you come out of breakout
tonight, just to make sure if anyone needs to log off a little early, they have those,
but we will do coaching or the content breakouts, activation information, and then group coaching.
And that way it kind of just helps me also make sure I'm saving enough time for the group
coaching and not trying to squeeze that activation in and keep y'all here late to hear that.
So welcome again, for those joining new for the first time, we want to welcome you. Introduction
information. I want to encourage you all, if you're new or you've even been here for
a few weeks, if you haven't done your introduction post in the group, in the last year single
app, under the community tab, we want to encourage you to do that. Introduction post
would be a picture of you, potentially, hopefully. We'd love to see you. We'd love to meet you.
Put a face with the name. It could be you doing something you love. It could be your
favorite picture of yourself. And then tell us a little bit about you. Like what led you
to come to last year single? Say yes to the program. What is something you're hoping for
in the program? Everybody's here for a different thing. Most people come in to our program
for this spirit mate to learn how to heal and move towards their spirit mate. But some
people come in just for healing and other things. And so we do want to know and recognize
why you're here and get to know that about you. And then we'd love to know, what are
some of your favorite things? Are you a mama? You know, all those kind of little fun tidbits.
And why do we think this is important? Well, it's important in this healing process for
you, for you to come out of hiding. And you might think, well, I'm not hiding. Well, you
would be surprised how many people come into this program and never do a post. They don't
ever speak on a live session. And I'm not putting that down at all. I know everybody's
in a different place in their life, but we want you to be seen, known and loved. Okay.
Why does this matter for your future journey? Well, here's the thing, ladies, if you continue
in our program and you go into the next phase, most of you will probably try to do some online
dating. If you have a hard time doing an introduction post here and letting us get to know you,
that's going to be way harder. Okay. So let's practice now. Let's practice being seen and
known and loved and cheered on and supported. And then on top of that, anything that you have
questions about, there is never a dumb question you all, I promise. Okay. Ask your questions
in the group. We do have an ask a coach tab. If you're not sure how to use that, wherever
your post goes on the page, it'll be fine. We'll see it. And we'll respond to you there. Okay.
So I don't want you to worry about doing it wrong and not doing a post or any of that stuff. We want
to hear from you and support you on your journey. If you need prayer, let us know that I had a
couple of people asking, what do I do with dreams? Where can I put those? You can put those in the
group. We'll respond to you there about those as well. All right. One other, uh, two other
housekeeping items tonight for those of you that are struggling. And most of you tonight are on
zoom live, but some people will watch this replay. We have several people having a hard time with the
zoom links in the event tab. When you go into, uh, the last year single app, you're going to
click on the event tab, but hopefully this is best practice. This is my best recommendation
for all of you that you would set up a free profile on zoom and log into your zoom.
account before you click on the links in the event tab.
I have just found that that kind of rules kind of eliminates,
that's a better word, the kinks for a lot of the people.
Now I will tell you that certain phone users
have a harder time.
We don't know why.
It has nothing to do with Zoom.
It has something to do with the ad events,
you know, what we put the events in.
We can't fix it.
They're telling us there's nothing we can do.
So ladies, if that happens to you
when you click on the link, the Zoom meeting ID
and the passcode are all in there for you.
If you go directly to Zoom and type that in,
you'll get right into the meeting.
I know that some people said that they tried that recently
and it still didn't work.
I'm not sure what happened.
Some people, I don't want to get too techie,
but some of you all have actual pop-up lockers
on your computers that's not letting you go in there.
Okay, so you might want to have somebody that's techie
that lives near you, take a look at your computer
and help you out with that, all right?
Okay, last one, replays from Supernatural Saturday
and our session last night should be under the tab
for you called replays.
And let me pray for us and get us started tonight.
Father, thank you so much for your grace,
for your goodness.
God, thank you for bringing us all here tonight
for such a time as this.
We thank you for revealings, for healing
that have already been happening
before we even came tonight.
And we thank you for acceleration and healing.
We thank you that you're the great physician,
that nothing is too hard for you.
We thank you that you bring revelation
and insight from heaven.
Holy Spirit, we invite you to come.
We thank you for being here in our midst
that you would weave all throughout the content,
through the conversations, that you would come
and just help us to hear what your spirit is saying,
help us to receive your truth
because we know that the truth is what sets us free.
So we're asking for an upgrade in our understanding,
an upgrade in our revelation,
help us to see what we can't see,
help us those things that are down in our subconscious,
in our souls deep, Lord, we trust you in the timing,
but bring those things out of us that are harming us,
that are causing us to be stuck,
that are keeping us in cycles,
repeated cycles that sometimes lead to sin
or trying to fill the void that only belongs to you.
So God, we thank you for, yeah, Lord,
just being a good father for leading us into all truth
and anointing us for all of our lives and walk and calling
and leading us deeper into Jesus
and the revelation that he brought
and the sacrifice that he made for us
so that we could be free.
Lord, we thank you, Jesus, for the victory.
Help us to step further into victory tonight
in Jesus' name, amen.
So tonight we are talking about what is the broken heart?
And so even though I just prayed, we did this earlier
and I feel like it's really impactful,
before we pray, I'm gonna have you all
put your hands on your hearts
and say we're gonna do kind of activating your own heart
because as you pray, you don't have to unmute,
but you can just kind of pray along with me.
Father, thank you for opening my heart.
Help me to receive everything you have for me tonight.
Yes, Lord, we remove all distraction,
every lie of the enemy that would even hinder us
from receiving your truth tonight.
Help me to take down any do not enter signs
off of my heart, my spirit, my soul.
Help me to receive your love in a fresh way.
Let it fill me up, Lord.
Fill me up to overflowing into freedom and life
and hope in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen, amen.
So as we start to talk about
what is the broken heart tonight, ladies,
we need to just talk about the fact
that trauma doesn't just hurt us,
it creates different versions of us.
And whether you realize it or not,
some of you have been upset with the Lord
and feel like God isn't coming through for you.
You've been praying for a long time
and you feel like you've been waiting for him
to bring your Boaz,
to bring that fulfillment of these promises.
And some of you have believed the lie
that God's holding out on you.
This afternoon, we talked briefly,
one of our peer coaches shared how
the lie that she used to believe was God is a trickster.
And so I wanna kind of bring that to the surface
right in the beginning tonight,
that if you believe that God is a trickster,
it is your counterfeit identity
and the lies that you believe
that is causing you to believe those things, okay?
And so tonight, as we journey through
what is the broken heart
and looking at different ways that our broken heart
lies to us, leads us down roads,
really fast that actually are not healthy for us.
It causes us to think things are real that are not real.
It causes us to ignore red flags
in relationships of every kind, even friendships.
Some of y'all are in some really unhealthy friendships.
let alone romantic things that are unhealthy.
And some of you, unfortunately,
might even still be encountering
very unhealthy things with your parents.
And that doesn't mean you have to be a young person.
Some people in this community,
they're caregivers to their parents
and their parents are still abusive to them.
So we wanna really lean into, okay,
what is your life look like?
Where is the broken heart leading you further
into these toxic environments and situations?
And how can you heal more tonight and in the days to come
so that you don't continue down those paths?
The identity that God gave you
when he originally created you, okay?
So before trauma, pain, or wounds ever entered your life,
God created you in his true identity,
who he originally created you to be.
That is your true identity.
Okay, so when we talk about your true identity,
that's what I'm referring to.
And so ever since you encounter trauma and wounds and pain
and started in any way living into your flesh,
you know, little by little,
there starts to be this separation
from the true identity and who we are,
the counterfeit identities that are leading us
away from that true identity.
All right, I'm gonna read something really quick
from the heartwork book.
Anytime I ever read, ladies,
it is from the heartwork book tonight.
I'm in chapter six.
If you wanna look it up later,
don't get your book out now.
I just want you to hear it.
I want you to receive what I'm saying.
We're talking about Beezlebub
and how the Bible mentions that Beezlebub
is the Lord of the flies.
That's a representative name of the enemy.
It's one of the names he's given.
And Jackie is talking about flies
and the purpose that they serve.
And he's the Lord of the flies.
So that's what we're talking about when I read this.
Flies serve a purpose in the decomposition process
of organic materials.
What flies do is they find an unhealed wound,
a sore or someplace of decomposition,
and they lay their eggs inside of that place, okay?
So if the enemy is the Lord of the flies,
he's always looking for places that he can sow his eggs,
his lies into your sore places,
into the open unhealed wounds
that are still festering in your soul,
whether you realize they're there or not.
They do this so that when the eggs hatch,
the larvae will have an unlimited food source.
So that's basically saying the enemy
will have an unlimited supply
because that wound is sitting in there, okay?
These unhealed heart wounds, traumas, and rejections
become an ideal place for the enemy to sow these seeds
that are lies because our hearts are fertile wounds,
remember?
So everything that goes into our hearts
is going to get reproduced, whether it's good,
whether it's unhealthy things,
anything that goes into your heart
is going to be reproduced.
Okay, I'm gonna keep going.
These lies might not become evident immediately.
In fact, sometimes they actually
don't become evident immediately.
These seeds are, well, they're seeds.
If you think about a farmer that goes out,
and I'm kind of going off here for a minute,
but a farmer that goes out and sow seeds,
well, a lot of times it's many, many, many, many months
before those seeds come to harvest
and are ripe for harvest and all of that.
So I want you to think about this.
Sometimes the enemy has sown seeds and lies
in your life years ago that are now being lived out
in your life today, okay?
So it can take years for these to mature in someone's life.
And when they do mature, this is when the form,
the fully formed false identities start to appear.
And what we call these false identities in this community
is a fragmented heart, okay?
So we're not saying everybody's walking around bipolar.
That's not what we're saying.
We're saying that a lot of people
have these fragmented, broken hearts,
and they're living into those aspects of themselves
which create these counterfeit identities, all right?
So I'm gonna give you an example,
and this is from the book.
For instance, say your parents got a divorce
when you were very young,
or perhaps they never married at all.
Your father left the household
and abandoned his responsibility towards you.
Keep in mind, abandonment doesn't have to be physical.
It can also be emotional, spiritual, or financial.
While that would be a terrible thing to happen to you,
the trauma doesn't even have to happen to you personally.
It might've been to your grandpa or your great-grandpa
that abandoned his family.
So basically it's just saying
it might not have just been your dad.
Maybe it was your grandpa or your great-grandpa,
and then you're living out the effects
of that in your life today.
But because it affected your mother or father,
they may have unconsciously passed those lies down to you.
This is how we inherit emotional debt
and heart wounds from our families.
So some of you.
So not only are you battling your own heart wounds,
but you're battling generational heart wounds
and inherited emotional debt or trauma.
Whether it's a firsthand trauma or not,
the event itself is not going to be the thing
that keeps you from having a good life.
It's the lies you believe as a result of the trauma.
Ladies, the lies we believe as a result of the trauma
and the wounds we go through are the things
that will keep us from having a good life.
So we're gonna do an assessment of our hearts tonight
a little bit, and I want you to even be thinking about
as we do this, what lies are surfacing,
and I want you to write those down.
Whether you have a pen and paper
or you put them in your phone,
because I want them to be fresh.
And I want, if you have an image, a memory,
anything that comes up while I'm sharing tonight,
I want you to write those down
because those are things that you need to spend
some time with, not only tonight,
but after tonight with the Lord,
asking him for more revealing, for healing.
What we believe about ourselves, we become.
What you believe about yourself, you become.
So how is what you believe about yourself
leading you into a place that tells you constantly,
some of you, I know here on a regular basis,
like, yeah, you're never gonna get married.
This is never gonna work out for you.
Well, we believe what we become.
Okay, or we become what we believe, I said that backwards.
So if we're becoming that person
that is constantly in the same cycle,
same cycle, always alone, always alone, always alone,
well, it started in our belief system.
Okay, all right, so we're gonna start
to unpack this a little bit more.
Our broken heart is three,
we kind of put it into three categories,
the liar, the puzzle, and the pretender.
The liar is very simple.
It means that your heart, unfortunately,
a lot of us have a broken heart that is full of lies.
Maybe we've never had an opportunity
to have someone help us unpack the lies.
And here's the other thing.
Some of you all have gone through extensive healing
and extensive counseling, but there's still lies
under the surface in the subconscious area
that you haven't been able to identify.
Here's one of the key differences in our program,
and I'm not saying there's not other good programs
out there, but, or that counselors aren't good
or any of that.
I think all those things are great, okay?
But there are a lot of times people get their shovels out
and they start digging, digging for answers,
asking, you know, looking for the thing themselves,
where in our program, we're very big on,
okay, I want you to ask the Lord to reveal the root.
Ask the Lord to reveal this area for healing,
because the Lord, he knows you better
than you know yourself.
He is such a good dot connector.
So if you will rely on him and trust him,
he will lead you to greater waters
than you've ever lived in in your entire life.
He will help you heal and mend and grow,
and you'll experience redemption and reconciliation
in your life in ways you can't even imagine, okay?
When it's full of lies, I want you to hear the process
that we can tend to go through.
This is also in chapter six of the book.
This is called the process.
Step one, first, we believe the lie.
So step one is we believe the lie.
We go through trauma or a wound, and at that moment,
the enemy, what I called it today,
is he's serving it up on a platter.
He's like, here you go, here's this lie.
Whether you realize he's doing that or not,
that's what he's doing, and we have a choice
whether or not we're going to believe that lie.
Tonight, the example in the book is I'm abandoned.
Some of you, that is the lie that you've been believing.
For others, it's a different lie,
but either way, the enemy served it,
and for most of us, we believed him,
and we started partnering with that lie.
I am abandoned.
I'm alone.
Nobody loves me.
Nobody comes through for me, and oftentimes,
that's where number two of the process comes into play.
We speak the lie, so we believe the lie.
Then we speak the lie, and I want to say this.
I was talking about this this afternoon.
It's not, yes, it is about speaking it out of your mouth,
okay, but a lot of you ruminate.
You think on it.
That is still impacting everything that you're doing.
Out of the overflow of the heart,
which is connected to your mind,
the mouth speaks.
Some of you just haven't spoken it out verbally to somebody,
but you're thinking on it quite a bit.
The other thing is maybe you're texting it to someone.
Texting in our world is speaking, you all.
It's just using your fingers
to digitally put it out there somewhere.
I wanna also say that from my perspective,
our actions speak volumes, don't they?
We don't think of it a lot like that.
Like if we're thinking about, oh, we just,
we speak the lie, well, your actions,
we like literally teach people in this community,
don't just look at, listen to what they're saying.
What is their fruit telling you?
We're trying to teach you all to look for the fruit.
Healthy fruit is what we wanna look for.
Well, same thing in our life.
If we are not living and making healthy actions and choices,
that we are speaking something to everybody, okay?
Including ourselves.
All right, so number one, we believe the lie.
Number two, we speak the lie and here,
so the lie that we believed was I'm abandoned
in the example, the lie that we spoke
is nobody is ever there for me, okay?
See how it's building as it's going?
And then step three of the process,
finally, we become the lie.
Behavior towards isolation and withdrawal from others
creates a false sense of abandonment.
That's how we become the lie, abandonment.
We tell ourselves that people don't love us,
that we never fit, nobody accepts us,
whatever, these women always make fun of me.
Whatever your lie is that you've been believing,
if you partner with that
and you already believe the lie that you're abandoned,
you are going to physically start doing things
to pull away from people.
So if that is you in any way, shape or form,
when even when you want to go towards community,
something in you, you keep pulling away,
it's probably because you believe the lie at some point
that you are abandoned, neglected and nobody loves you, okay?
And some of you, there are other lies, like I said,
we won't go into all this tonight, but that is the liar.
The broken heart is a liar.
It tells us things that are not true.
The puzzle aspect, it's really messed up.
It says we want things that we don't really want.
Maybe it's telling us we want to eat food
when we're sad and lonely, when we're not even hungry.
Maybe it's drinking too much.
Maybe it's having sex or doing things outside of marriage
regarding physical, lustful type of things
where our flesh is saying, do this, do this.
But then after we do it, we feel guilt, shame,
condemnation, all these things.
Maybe it is we're angry, you know, and we're just,
ah, we gotta let them know our minds.
And then after it's over, man, again, that shame,
that guilt and condemnation,
because it really isn't what we wanted.
A lot of times actually what we want is to feel loved.
And we want that person to say they're sorry
for something that they did.
And maybe that's not why we're angry,
but some of us, that is why we're angry.
But the things that we keep doing,
this puzzle piece of our broken heart,
it's not leading to good places.
The heart is also a pretender.
The pretender often shows up in multiple ways.
Mask, it will tell us we want expensive things.
Status, when we don't really want them,
it's gonna tell us like, oh, I'm okay.
I don't need anybody's help.
I'm good.
I've got this.
When you don't really have it.
We'll even have people come in this community
and say they want coaching and say they want help.
And then when we try to coach them,
they'll tell us they're good.
Y'all, that's a mask.
That's the pretender showing back up,
saying and believing we've got to have it all together
and convey to other people, I don't need any help.
Well, that's coming from somewhere.
And the pretender also will basically invite you
on a regular basis to live below your true identity.
I'm gonna give you some examples of masks tonight.
I wanna go into those just a little bit
to give you some more ideas
of how this might look and sound in your life.
And when I say this,
please know I am very big on you all being successful,
strong, amazing women.
But I'm just giving you examples
of how the mask can show up.
Boss babe, we have in our society,
women have become very strong and that's not a bad thing,
but now it's kind of gotten out of balance
where women don't think they need men
because we got this.
And y'all, I've had to fight that stuff myself too
over the years.
Ryan wants to help me.
I tell this story all the time.
He wants to help me carry my food box out of the restaurant.
Like it bugs him when I don't let him carry my food box.
And, you know, it feels silly to me
because I'm like, it's just my food.
Like I'll carry this.
But he, it's that shorter side of men.
They wanna do things.
things to help us even when we don't need help.
But if we keep projecting, I've got this,
I'm a boss, babe, I don't need you.
Well, guess what, ladies?
Guys sense that.
And they're like, okay, see you later, okay?
We have to open up and we can be successful
and we can be excellent,
but we don't have to always have that mask up, okay?
Maybe it's having to be the best parent.
Maybe being the perfect employee,
so afraid for anyone even to know
that you ever make a mistake
and always trying to hide a mistake if you make a mistake.
Hiding emotions.
Maybe telling people I'm good
when on the inside you're crying, you're sad,
you're broken, but you just feel like
you can't even let anybody know
that's how you really feel.
I don't know about you all,
but what's coming up in my spirit right now too
is in the church itself,
I think this happens more than any other place.
Because we are told, well, you just gotta have faith.
You just gotta believe.
You just gotta believe this thing's gonna change.
Well, okay, yeah, but faith with works.
Action.
What's the action happening in this situation
in both people, in both parties?
You know?
We have some people right now,
I was just coaching last week.
This one lady, man, sad story.
And no shame or condemnation.
I'm not saying this in a bad way,
but she got herself into a really tough situation.
Her parents were living with her in her house,
but they just really struggled financially.
She never really learned,
and she didn't maybe have access.
Her parents paid for things for many years.
And so finally, when they needed her,
she didn't have the tools to know what to do financially.
And so ended up losing her home and all this stuff.
But do you wanna know who she blamed?
Still, even today, she's still processing this.
She blames God for that house, for that house loss.
And a lot of us do that in different ways.
And one of the things I had to coach her through
was really hard.
You know, I try to be real sensitive
because I never want anyone to be hurt.
But y'all, I'm not doing anybody any good
if I also don't bring truth.
And the truth is, is we have to own our side of the street.
We have to be willing to say, wait a minute,
did I take any financial classes to grow?
Did I get any help?
Why is it just God that has to do all the work?
Okay?
All right, I'm gonna keep moving.
I'm meddling a little bit.
So are you good, really?
Are you hiding emotions?
Are you hiding insecurities?
One of the ways I wrote down that this can show up
in a lot of our lives is overcompensating.
So maybe you're overcompensating for an insecurity you have.
And then when you get around other people, they sense that.
And they might even be saying to you,
hey, like, why are you doing that?
Why are you, like, even you make a mistake
and you cover it up?
Like, you're just so afraid for anybody to even know
that you've made a mistake.
And I wrote down also people-pleasing,
downplaying your intelligence.
Maybe you're really smart and you get around certain people
and for whatever reason, you like dumb yourself down.
And that can even happen spiritually, ladies, okay?
And the one thing I've, I said this,
the caveat to that is we also have the flip side of that
where some people, it's not just that they're spiritual,
they don't realize subconsciously
they've picked up religious belief systems
and thought patterns along the way.
And they're so religious
that they've got this huge long list
of how the guys have to be.
And they got to pray this long
and they got to do devotions every day with me.
And they got to, and if they don't do these things,
guys aren't spiritual.
That's how, at least from my experience,
transparent, 100%, that used to be me
because that's what I was taught.
My husband totally spends different,
the way he spends time with the Lord
is totally different than me.
But I know genuinely, he's a pastor,
he's studying the word all the time, you all.
He genuinely is very close to the Lord.
He has amazing fruit in his life.
And if I had kept my checklist
of, oh, he's got to do devotions every single day
or he doesn't love me and he doesn't love the Lord.
And if I would have never let that go,
I could have missed out on him.
Praise the Lord.
I got healed of that stuff before he came along.
Praise Jesus.
I'm so glad for that.
But some of you, that's where you're at right now.
And some of that...
that came out of hurt and woundedness towards guys and but
you don't realize the religious thoughts have come in those
lies have come in and partnered with the lies that you believe
about men. And now you got some strongholds hanging out in
there. All right. Um, the other thing, the last thing I want to
mention kind of going back to the overcompensating. I shared
this example earlier, and I think it's helpful. So I decided
to share it again tonight. Years ago, when I was dating my
spiritual daughter's dad, I was with him for six years, you all
too long, way, way too long, went through a lot of betrayal
in that relationship. There was a lot of abuse and a lot of
mistreatment. But I chose to stay. Unfortunately, I wasn't
healthy enough to leave that relationship for a long time.
Until I was, praise the Lord. But the reason I bring it up
tonight is when I was kind of newer and dating him. One night
we went to this bar and grill, he wanted to introduce me to his
friends. I was really nervous. And at the time, I still thought
he was a good catch you all. Okay, so keep that in mind. I
didn't know what I knew all the years later, thought he was a
good catch, wanted to impress him, was meeting his friends,
couple of them came and this one guy in particular, I wasn't real
impressed with him. I mean, I didn't really like any of them
that much, but the one guy in particular, and here's why he
was talking about this woman that he had dated on and off and
they were back together. But then he was like talking real
negative about her. And then he's like checking out the other
women at the bar. And then the next thing he and the guys go
out on the dance floor, and he's dancing with other women. And,
and I'm sitting there with the guy I'm dating girl's dad. And
he thinks it's great. And I was like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I went
along with it, you all. But on the inside, I thought it was
horrible. And I felt so bad for that woman, even though I'd
never met her before. But you want to know what I did? I ended
up going out on the dance floor and dancing with all of them.
Not with that guy, but like with my boyfriend, but with all of
them in the group. So in a sense, I was agreeing with what
was going on there. Right? Sometimes we're in situations
now I think part of that not to excuse myself is I didn't know
what to do really. And I wanted to be the cool girlfriend. That
is literally what I had in my mind. I just want to be cool. I
just want them to think I'm cool. So I'm just gonna, I'm
just gonna like deal with this, you know. And I did talk to him
tried to talk to him after that. But that was never a
conversation that was ever going to go anywhere ended up being an
argument and all the things but I'm saying it to you all
tonight because some of you want to be the cool girlfriend.
And it's leading you into bad situations and you're denying
actual true values and feelings that you have. And I'm not
saying we should be rigid or any of those things, but we need to
be real with ourselves. If we can't actually be honest with
ourselves about our values about what we believe about what we
feel about something, we're going to have a really hard time
doing that inside of a relationship. Okay, so good time
during heart work for you to figure out who you are more and
more. And we're going to talk about that a little bit later
tonight as well. But I do have some scriptures for you.
Jeremiah 17, nine says this, the heart is deceitful, above all
things and desperately wicked, who can know it. Proverbs 423.
This is the ESV version says keep your heart with all
vigilance for from it flows the springs of life. As you're
thinking about those scriptures, I want you to also be thinking
about some of these lies that can tend to show up in your
life. Now this is a list I made tonight for a purpose and I'll
tell you why here in a little bit. You might have other lies
that show up just like the one I read earlier, you might not
feel that abandonment, maybe yours is something else. So you
might align with these you might not but if it's something else,
just draw again, jot down whatever's coming up for you.
But here are some of the ones I wrote down. Lie number one, you
are insignificant. The definition here of insignificant
is not significant, lacking meaning, not worth considering
unimportant. Have you ever had anyone tell you that you
weren't important? Which now feeds into lie number two, you
don't matter. Which feeds into line number three, you should be
seen and not heard. Lie number four, you're not enough. Lie
number five, your opinion doesn't matter, which partners
way back
with, you should be seen and not heard. A lot of people also,
you don't matter all of that. There's a lot of people that
struggle to even believe that their voice matters, and they
are afraid to come in and post in the group because they've
been taught for so long that nobody wants to hear what you
even have to say. And some of you all have been, you know, not
only with your parents, but maybe even in relationships
where, you know, you were belittled, and you were talked
down, or there were things happening that were emotionally
unhealthy, where there's a lot of confusion being cast to try
to get you to doubt yourself. And some of you are coming out
of that. And that's why you still struggle. Like, is this
real? Is this not real? Is this a healthy thought? Is this not?
And if you haven't been there, praise the Lord. But I came out
of that kind of stuff, because that's the kind of
relationships. I kept attracting these men that were very
mentally, verbally, emotionally, physically, you name it, I've
been through spiritual abuse, I've been through it all, you
all. And it's a crazy cycle. And then when you finally come out
of it, you're kind of just trying to figure out what's real
and what's not real. Right? All right, lie number six, you're
always going to have to beg. This is where the orphan
mentalities come into play, ladies, and the limiting belief
systems that we tend to live in, where we believe that we're
not, whether we realize it or not, I know a lot of us go to
church all the time. And we believe that God loves us. But
deep down, we don't operate or function like a daughter. We
function like slaves. In our relationship with the Lord.
That's how we hear things. That's how we receive things.
That's how we walk it out. But God wants you to know tonight,
you're a daughter, you're his beloved. And daughters,
princesses don't have to beg, do they? No, they get a chair pulled
out for them at the table, the banquet table with the father
with the king. So if you believe you have to beg and want you to
be looking at that with the Lord, where did that start for
you? When's the first time you felt like you had to beg for
something and someone didn't give it to you or come through?
And that's where that started to feed into that for you. Lie
number seven, if they really knew me, they wouldn't accept
me, love me or choose me. They really knew me, they wouldn't
accept me, love me or choose me. And what this ties into ladies
is if they knew what I did. If they knew what I've been
through, they wouldn't really love me. Because some of you
believe as soon as you tell people your story that you have
to pull back away into shame and guilt and hide, you feel
exposed. But God doesn't expose, he covers. So if you feel
exposed, that's the enemy causing that feeling and that
lie. Okay, Linda, thanks for sharing that with them. You're
not enough and your opinion doesn't matter was four and five
lie number four and five. Thank you for that. So all of these
lies that I chose tonight, I did it with a purpose. All of these
lies tie to us having low self esteem, not understanding our
value and or our worth, or having pauper orphan
mentalities. A lot of times the enemy once we believe one line
like this, he'll try to get us to believe another lie, another
lie. And he's wanting to get us into again, that beggar, we're
not daughters, we're not beloved, we're slaves. Because
if we live like a slave, and we think like a slave, you know,
we're not we're out of daughter, we're out of blessing flow. That
makes sense, everyone. All right, awesome. Y'all are
tracking with me. This is great. Proverbs 1249 says this, these
are some truths I want to speak over you. This is who you are.
Okay, this is some truth about you. And who God says that we
all are. Proverbs 1249 says a wife of noble character is her
husband's crown. I know that I brought this up this afternoon,
but I feel led to say it again. A lot of times in our society.
Now the word queen is thrown around all the time. She's my
queen. You're a queen girl. And I'm not making fun of that. But
it's kind of a little not healthy. Here's why. Because we
have a lot of people trying to be queen, but they've never
learned how to be a daughter or a princess. Think about that.
How can you be a queen if you don't know how to be a daughter?
If you don't know
to be a princess and the word says, a wife of noble character
is her husband's crown.
You're a blessing to his life.
Do you already believe internally that you're a
blessing to your spirit mate?
Again, no shame or guilt or condemnation.
If you don't, I'm saying these things because I want you to be
thinking about this with the Lord.
If you don't really fully believe that, then you're probably going to attract
men that aren't going to treat you that way.
All right, I'm going to keep going.
Ephesians 1 5 in love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus
Christ and according in accordance, excuse me, with his pleasure and his will.
In love, he predestined us for adoption.
Y'all he chose us.
He chose us.
He grafted us in because he loves us.
So you were chosen from the beginning of time.
Isaiah 43, four says, since you are precious and honored in my sight, and
because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you nations
in exchange for your life.
I want you just to think about what I just said there.
God is saying to us, and he was saying this back in Isaiah's time.
So he was speaking to the people of the land then, but it can
be applied to us as well.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,
I'm going to make trades for you.
I'm going to, I'm going to do some business to make sure that you are mine.
Do y'all get that?
All right.
Luke 12, seven says, indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don't be afraid.
You are worth more than sparrows.
You're worth more than sparrows.
Every single one of you are important and valuable.
All right.
I'm going to get you ready to go into breakouts.
Here's what your question is tonight.
What broken heart aspect.
So the liar, the puzzle, the pretender, you remember we talked about all those
masks, what broken heart aspect do you relate with the most tonight and why?
All right.
Let me get these breakouts ready.
Hey, I'm going to try to do two people, two room to give
you all a little bit more time.
I'm going to do seven minutes.
So keep it short, brief and powerful ladies.
Okay.
Again, the question is what broken heart aspect do you relate
with the most tonight and why?
Okay.
Those are up on your screen.
Go ahead and click to join those.
Maybe praying for you all click to join those as quick as you can.
Stephanie, that's okay.
If you're at work, you can stay here in the main room.
I'll just move people around if I need to.
As soon as I make sure everybody's situated here, I will start to pray.
All right.
Jodi, are you stuck here?
I was in room 13 and I tried to get something off of my screen and it took me back here.
That's okay.
Rosie, did it kick you out too?
I'm trying to get some people for me too.
Okay.
Hold on one sec.
I'll get y'all.
Let's see.
Rosie.
I'm going to put you in the last.
Oh, I don't even see you all.
What rooms were you all in?
I was in 13.
I was in nine.
Okay.
Let me get that 13, 13.
Oh, okay.
So Katie's by herself.
I don't have any way to put you back in there.
So I'm just going to have to bump her to a different room.
And Jodi, I'm going to, I don't remember who was where.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's totally fine.
Um, we'll put you in 24 and then Rosie, you said nine.
Yes.
Okay.
There's a new room for you.
Go ahead and see if you can get in those.
Thanks ladies.
Sure.
All right, father.
Thank you so much.
Even through technical difficulty, God, that you bless us, that you
minister your truth and your healing and your life to us.
Thank you, Lord, that you're going into all of the broken and
fallen places of our hearts.
God, thank you.
Yeah, so just pause and say thank you for placing the balm of Gilead and healing upon our hearts, our bodies, our minds, our spirits, our souls.
Thank you for healing even our finances as a result of the healing that we're going to experience here.
God, we thank you that you would help us to receive your greater truth and your life.
Lord, we thank you for your Holy Spirit power and hope that you would just come in and pour fresh hope into the hearts and minds and spirits of everyone here tonight.
Those that are watching the replay, God, we thank you that you never leave us.
You never forsake us, God.
You're always working.
Even when we can't see it, Lord, you're working behind the scenes.
We thank you.
Even just tonight as I'm praying that for the reminder years ago, I was on a walk and, you know, I've seen ants multiple times.
But for whatever reason, this one day in particular, I looked down and there were just ants.
Like, you know, it caught my attention and I just noticed all these ants and they were crawling.
And had I not looked down, I probably would have stepped right on them.
I was walking.
I was on this path.
And the Lord used that the rest of my walk to speak to me about how every single day underneath the soil, underneath the grass that we see, that there's movement.
There's life, all kinds of stuff happening underneath the surface down there.
And God was basically just reminding me that he's always working.
Even when we can't see it, he's working.
Hi, Lynn.
Did you just join us?
Hi, Lynn.
Okay.
Welcome.
We're in breakout rooms right now.
They are talking about what aspect of the broken heart do you relate with tonight and why.
I'm going to go ahead and put you in one of the rooms and you can just listen in.
If you're not ready to share, that's totally fine.
Okay?
That's on the screen for you.
Hi, Vern.
All right.
I'm going to keep praying.
So, Father, we just thank you for oh, are you talking to me?
You just have to unmute.
Did you get kicked out of the room?
Oh, you're muted, sweetie.
Your phone's muted.
If you tap on the bottom of your phone.
Yeah, there you go.
I was saying I didn't get into the room.
I'm at work, so I'm going to have to come off the call.
Okay.
That's fine.
Bye-bye.
So, Lord, we just thank you even as I was sharing just that truth.
Lord, help us to see what we can't see even regarding all the work that you're doing, God,
that you're working all things together for good in our lives, Lord.
We thank you even in situations like what Joseph went through, Lord.
There was nothing that he did to create that situation essentially where his brothers were jealous of him,
which is what led them to throw him into the pit after he told them the story of the dream that he had.
But, Lord, we thank you that you redeemed all of that.
You redeemed that whole situation.
And, God, you didn't intend that for Joseph, but, God, you used it.
You used it to not only save his life but to save not only his family's life but many, many people when there was a famine in the land.
So, Lord, we thank you that there's purpose in our pain when we give it to you, God, that you can do amazing things with it.
Lord, we thank you for supernatural surrender and the reminder that we can give you permission every day to come in and work in our hearts and transform us from the inside out, God, that you are, man, yeah, I think I even prayed this last week, but it comes to mind again.
The potter and we're the clay.
And you're working and creating a masterpiece out of every mess in our lives.
So, Lord, we just thank you, Lord.
I just hear the word saying that he doesn't get tired of us.
And so, if there's anyone on the call that's here tonight or that's going to watch the replay, God wants you to know that he's not tired of you.
He's not tired of listening to your voice.
He loves to spend time with you.
He loves to hear from you.
And he is going to continue to show up for you in ways that you could never ask, think, or imagine.
So, Lord, we thank you for that.
We believe that in Jesus' name, and we speak that over you tonight.
Isaiah 61.3 says to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.
So, Lord, we thank you that you would bestow on each one of us a crown of beauty in every area of ash, of pain, of loss, where the locust has eaten and the moth has destroyed.
God, we thank you, God, that you're going to restore all that stuff and then some.
The blessing, abundant blessing.
The ands suddenlies that they would start to happen.
We thank you, God.
I just pray right now over every Jesus Cares board that's represented by the ladies in this community and this group here live watching the replay.
And even if they never come to a live event.
God, we ask you to continue to work in their cares,
their fears, their worries in supernatural ways.
God, as they put those cares and cast those upon you
on their Jesus Cares Board, we thank you, God,
that you hear them.
And we thank you that you're gonna continue
to show up and move and power.
God, you're mighty.
You're the creator of heaven and earth.
Nothing is too hard for you.
So we thank you that we partner with faith.
We partner with hope.
We choose to partner with joy, unspeakable,
and full of glory before we even feel it.
God, we receive it.
Yeah, that's a word.
Before we even feel joy, Lord, we receive it.
So Lord, I pray that and ask you and thank you
for filling us afresh with your Holy Spirit,
for filling us with your love to overflowing,
that out of the overflow that we would experience his love,
that that's how we would love other people,
out of the overflow, not out of lack
and this little tiny trickle.
That's not how God is.
God doesn't just trickle love into our lives.
He's got a lot.
He's got a lot and he wants to release that unto us.
And so we wanna thank you, Lord,
for helping us to open our hearts and our minds
and our spirits and our bodies to receive every good thing
that you have for us.
Welcome back, ladies.
Welcome back.
Go ahead and mute for me when you come back.
I have a lot of background sound.
We'll start to hear screech stuff.
All right, I think I've got everybody muted.
Before we do group coaching,
I wanna go ahead and give you the activation now.
I have two for you this week.
It's gonna be a fun week, you all.
It's gonna be really good.
So activation number one is shifting to the positive.
And what I mean by this is I want you to ask God
to show you the gold, G-O-L-D,
the gold in yourself and in other people around you.
And then I want you to come into the group
and share a post about what you're seeing.
Don't feel like you gotta wait all week long
and gather a bunch just as God's given you revelation.
Maybe it's even some of the people you've been praying
about and processing the healing
and that God would start showing you the gold in them.
Does that mean you have to go right
into a toxic relationship with someone again?
No, but the reality is is God creates everybody
in his image.
Everybody's created in his image.
Some people choose to walk out on healthy things.
That doesn't mean that they don't have the image
of Christ in them, okay?
So the activation is shifting, S-H-I-F-T, to the positive.
So you're asking God to show you the gold
in yourself and other people.
And then you're coming into the group
and you're posting about what God has shown you.
That's number one.
Activation number two.
We're gonna activate play this week.
What do I mean by that?
Well, girls just wanna have fun.
It's not just a song, y'all.
It's something that we need to practice
because some of what I've known now,
I've been doing this coaching for a long time.
And again, y'all remember that I'm a success story
from this community.
So all the things I'm talking to you about,
most of them, I've done them, okay?
And way back when, when Jackie did the first,
let's activate play, a bunch of us went out,
did all kinds of stuff.
I mean, ladies were climbing trees
and swinging on swings and going down slides.
So that's some of my ideas for you tonight to do this week.
But what we want you to cultivate the play,
the little girl in you,
maybe somewhere along the way,
people told you you're too old for that.
Oh, just calm down, or maybe trauma, fear,
the loss of hope, all these things
that just press the fun side of you down.
We want that stuff to come back out.
We want you to come out and play.
And so basically as you're doing this,
what I believe is that as you're healing
and you're allowing play,
you're allowing yourself to have some fun in a healthy way,
convergence is gonna happen, okay?
Where you're gonna start reconnecting
with parts of yourself that you've denied
for a really long time, all right?
Reconnecting with that fun side can awaken you
in ways that you can't even imagine.
So here are some ideas.
Y'all can do however you want.
And this isn't even just,
I mean, if you have a thought right now
and you've already thought of something, cool.
But I really want you to be intentional
to pray about this too.
God, what fun things should I do?
God, what should I go do for fun?
What do I need to do to activate fun inside of myself?
Because he's gonna show you what to do there too.
Did you know that God is fun and adventurous?
Because he is.
He's the author of fun.
And so he wants to teach some of y'all how to have fun, yeah.
Salsa dancing in your kitchen randomly, love it.
Okay, here's some examples.
A pajama party with some girlfriends.
Some of y'all that might make you cringe right now
because you don't have close girlfriends.
Okay, totally fine.
And you're not there yet. But I think at some point some of you
are going to have girlfriends in ways you haven't in a very long
time. But yeah, pajama party full on if you like nails, if
you don't like that, don't do that. But mask all the whole
nine yards watching funny movies, something to make you
laugh. Okay, preferably not these sappy things that are
making you depressed and cry something funny. Hey, put some
music on have a dance party. And I know that sounds like, oh, so
cliche. But literally, you all will be so surprised at how much
like, it'll bring that fun little side out out of you in
ways you can't even imagine. So as I mentioned, climbing trees,
swinging on swings, going down slides, maybe you need to go on
an adventure that you've wanted to go on for a long time, but
you keep putting it off. Maybe yours is to explore new places
and experiences. Maybe some of you have been feeling led to
take a class to learn a new hobby. Don't put that off.
Let's do it. Let's activate the fun inside of yourself. And I
want to talk to you about explore here exploring I felt
led to look this up to explore new place is to investigate it
to study it to analyze it look into to become familiar with by
testing it or experimenting with it. To travel over new
territory for adventure or discovery. Some of you struggle
to be in healthy relationships because you don't really know
who you are. Yet. Okay, yet is a key word. Y'all will hear me say
that a lot. You taking the time to have fun and explore things
you like or don't like will be key to you becoming a healthier
version of yourself, which can then create a healthier dynamic
to invite someone else into. Do you see how important this is?
All right. All right. Those are your activations. So shifting
to positive and activate play go have some fun. And here's the
thing. I want to see proof. Do you know what that means? I want
to see pictures in the group of the fun that you're having. I
had a lady she's been out of the heartwork space and phase for
probably a little over a month now. But y'all she took me up on
this activation. And it created incredible breakthrough loop
even things like she hadn't gone out and just done anything by
herself. And so the one day she went to a park, and she just
video these waterfalls. And then she shared it in the group, y'all
that's blessing other people when she's doing that. And then
another night, she took herself on a date, took herself to
dinner and went to a movie. Another time, you know, she went
to a different like she was literally going off all in for
it. And I'm telling you what that shifted her immensely. So I
encourage you take us up on it. And then show me show us some
proof. Let's have some fun with this. All right. Okay, coaching
time. Here's where we enter group coaching time. I would
love for any of you that are willing. I'll take as many of
you as I can tonight. Okay, we are going to have a hard stop at
930. Okay, so I will take as many as I can any that are
willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the
private breakout session about the question. Kim Carey, go
ahead. I saw your hand go up first. Hi.
Hello. So I was in with Kathy. And we were talking a little bit
about being the pretender. So I won't speak for Kathy. But we
definitely agreed on some points. And she had another one
that she kind of resonated with too. But we talked about a lot
about pretender. But for me, I tend to not want to rock the
boat. You know, I just want to like, keep the water smooth and
calm and everything will be fine. And even if I have, you
know, an opinion about something, I don't necessarily
share it, especially if it's like, it's not that big a deal.
So the example I was sharing with her is the guy that I most
recently dated about six months ago, he would always ask me what
I wanted to eat. And like, I'm very like, low key, chill kind
of person, like go with the flow, just whatever. And I like
pretty much any kind of food. Like if it's not slimy or
rubbery, I'll eat it and enjoy it. And so he would always ask
me what I want to eat. And I'm like, I don't care, like,
wherever you want to go is fine. They'll have something on the
menu that I like. And like, he genuinely got mad at me one time
because I was like, they'll have something on the menu that I'll
eat, because I didn't have like the strong opinion about food.
And it's not just food. But it was, you know, that was one of
the things that came up. And it's, I'm trying to dig into it
more like I'm genuinely a people person also. And I just this
past week, I think it was after last week's call. But I was kind
of thinking about like, just how I'm wired. And I'm like, do
I, you know, kind of not really know who I am or not have these
strong opinions? Because, like, I'm the person where it doesn't
matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm with people that I enjoy.
Like, we could be picking up trash, and I'm having a great
time because it's about people. But is it because of that, that
I've never like, paid attention to?
attention to what I actually like and don't like and kind of pretend whatever,
like maybe not even realize that I'm pretending, but I'm just kind of like,
Oh, whatever I'm with all these people that I like.
So everything else is just kind of on the fringe on the
fringe and doesn't matter.
So anyway, I think you're on to something I will tell you.
And, and I love, here's the thing.
I love that you are a people person.
Okay.
But when you said something very key, when you started out, you said, I don't
like, I forget exactly how you said it, but the way I wrote it down was not rock
the boat.
So when is the first time that you remember not wanting to rock the boat?
And if you don't remember right now, it's totally fine.
But is there a time that the first time you ever remember not wanting to rock
the boat?
And why do you remember why?
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I think it's tied together.
So when I was two years old, um, my grandfather passed away, but I remember
the day that the ambulance came to my grandparents' house to take him to the
hospital.
And I just remember like sitting on this bench and just trying to stay out of the
way, like sit there, don't be seen don't like just stay out of the way.
And so I think that has a lot of it, you know, has a lot to do with it.
Cause that thought comes up fairly often about like, you know, I don't
necessarily want to, you know, express my thoughts, my feelings, like, you know,
just sit there and be quiet kind of a thing.
Nobody told me to be quiet.
I don't think I just felt like that was what I needed to do.
So I think that translates into a lot of my life.
Okay.
Was there a second thing you said there were two things that kind of tied
together?
No, I think that, that thing, that memory at two ties into not wanting to rock the
boat somehow.
Otherwise I don't, I don't necessarily remember a time where I was like, Oh, I
got to keep this to myself because whatever.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what I would do with that, honestly, because one of the things you said there
that was key as well, as you said, it keeps coming up.
I mean, I remember that fairly often.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And so I think there's a reason for that.
So the Lord's probably wanting to bring some healing there and we're not trying to
remember, we're not trying to dig.
Okay.
Because we don't want to go where the Lord's not ready to reveal for us to go.
Okay.
And that doesn't mean something else happened, but at two years old, that's a
pretty traumatic situation that you were going through.
And so what I want to encourage you to do this week is ask the Lord, cause you were
sitting on a bench.
Do you remember if anyone was sitting with you?
I was by myself.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I want you to ask the Lord to reveal to you where he was when that was
happening.
And what does he want to tell you about the situation?
And just see where that leads you.
And then, and then be in prayer this week about any other times that you didn't want
to rock the boat.
Did anyone in your family have a temper when you were little?
I don't think especially, I mean, okay.
My dad, maybe a little bit, but I like, I never felt like I wasn't afraid of my dad
or anything like that.
Like I didn't feel like he was coming after me or anything.
Um, yeah, but.
Okay.
Yeah.
So we need the Lord to eliminate where the not rock the boat comes from.
And if it is from this thing from two, you might, there might be things that'll
start to come together as he shows you, where was he at when you were sitting on
the bench and what does he want you to know about that situation?
And let's just see what he starts to piece together for you.
But I think there's probably going to be some other things and times where that was
something that you believe.
Like if I speak up or if I say something, I'm going to rock the boat.
And typically when people, um, have a thought like that, they have a negative
thing that they believe is going to happen if they rock the boat.
Does that make sense?
And again, we'll let the Holy spirit reveal this, uh, for healing.
Um, but in this process of even having fun and activating some of that, I really want
you just to think about like, what do you like?
That's a great question.
I'm trying to figure that out.
And you can ask the Lord to help you remember, because sometimes in life ladies
as well, and this is for everyone.
Sometimes we forget because hard things happen and we go into survival mode.
And when we go into survival mode, a lot of times stuff gets pushed down in inside
of us.
Okay.
So it's, it's under the surface, but a lot of times we can't even see it's there.
And then we just convince ourselves like, I'm just good.
If I'm with people, you know, and we don't want to upset anybody and we want everybody
to be happy and because life is better if everyone's happy and we don't want to be the
source.
with anyone's unhappiness. Okay. So just, yeah, keep praying into that. Come in and to the group
as you're processing, if things come up and you need help to unpack it more, look forward to
hearing where that leads you. Thank you for sharing. You're welcome. Is it Makia? Did I say that right?
Yes, that's correct. I actually had a clarifying question. So I was in a group with two other
ladies and neither, none of the three of us got the, what the puzzler was. Oh, well, the puzzle
is, it's just basically like you have a bunch of puzzle pieces in your heart. It's a mess.
So let me go back to my notes here. So basically the heart is broken heart when it's a puzzle,
it's telling us that we want things that we don't really want. Okay. So there's a lot of confusion
in there, a lot of chaos. Yeah. So like example that I gave was, you know, sometimes we will,
like our flesh will tell us we want to eat food when we're sad. Okay. Cause we're, it's telling
us we want things that we don't actually really want, but that's coming out of pain and chaos and
all kinds of things that are kind of jumbled up in there. If you think of a puzzle, have you ever
done a puzzle when you first dump it out of the box and there's a bunch of puzzle pieces everywhere.
That's what I want you to picture. So there's just a bunch of stuff that's all in a pile
and God's just trying to help you sort through it to put the puzzle together. Does that make sense?
Is that helpful? Yeah. All right. Awesome. Great question. All right. Did you have anything else
you wanted to share before I go to Dee? I guess I'll share what I shared in the group.
I don't, I can relate to some of the puzzle, but I think my default is the first one, the liar.
And so that, it's actually an interesting issue because a lot of it I had identified,
I guess a few years ago, but I still keep hearing the lies because my situation being my, being
single hasn't changed. So you keep, I keep hearing the lies because, okay, well, you're still not in
a relationship. You're still not married. And I mean, at this point I'm 51. So it's like,
you're like, okay, what's, you know, statistically speaking, there's not a lot of,
you know, there's not a lot of people still available when you get older and the people you
do meet have a lot of issues because they're doing your, you know, they're dealing with their
own messes too. So it, so it, so the lie keeps coming up in my mind, but my conscious mind is
saying, no, that's not true. But my subconscious is like, well, you know, look at what's happening.
Well, I'm here to tell you, we have people that are older, way older than you getting married.
So tonight you get to kick that lie to the curb if you want to, because there are, there are people
your age, and there are men that are healthy, full of the spirit and walk in the fruits of the spirit
your age that actually want to get married. And some of them have struggled to find a wife too,
because some of them also believe the lie that they were supposed to wait, all these different
dynamics. And so I want to encourage you just to come out of agreement with those things in the
days ahead. Yeah. Lie. Goodbye. See you later. Because it's not serving you well. And a lot of
times those lies that you're believing are actually causing you to remain stuck and single.
So allow the Holy spirit to come in and bring truth. And, and let's start it this way. I have
an activation for you, Machia. And anyone that wants to do this can do it as well. This is going
to be a fun one. This isn't to look for your spirit mate, because while you're here in heartwork,
we're asking and press pause on dating and trying to meet guys. But what I want you to do is I want
you just to start asking God to show you good guys around you all different ages. They don't have to
just be your age. God, show me good men all around me. And I want you to start just randomly. Like
if you're at a store, make eye contact, say hi, smile. There you go. Smile at them. You know,
where you're interacting, you're not trying to flirt, but you're trying to allow yourself to
be seen and just being nice and friendly. And you all that kind of stuff will come back to you later
on. It will. Okay. So practicing again, that's kind of another way to have fun and come out of
hiding. So you can look at it that way as well, but that was a great share. So we look forward
to hearing how it goes. She's not sure yet. I don't think I'm typing it. Okay. Okay. I just
want to make sure you're good. Cause some people are like, Oh gosh, what did she just ask me to go
do? And that's just like,
or not thrilled about it.
But I will tell you, like, we've had a lot of women that,
I don't know about you all,
but way back because of some of the things I've been through,
I would have a hard time looking at guys in the eye.
And that was a problem.
And so one time we were,
a group of us from the community, we're in Nashville,
we went to Franklin downtown,
and we decided we were gonna practice what Jackie told us.
And we were like working on walking down the street
and keeping eye contact, smiling,
waving from time to time, you know, and it is good.
It's good practice.
So ladies, let's be friendly.
Let's be friendly and smile at people, okay?
All right, I love it.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Dee, go ahead.
Ooh, I was trying to run.
I was trying to run, like maybe I don't wanna speak.
Hello, Bethany, good to see you after a couple of years.
I don't even remember me, but I'm back.
Welcome back.
I'm back.
So what we spoke about was the lie,
and the lie of abandonment is one of the big ones.
I know it's a lie, but, and, I'm trying not to say but,
and it's examples are, I live far away.
I'm one of the, I live far away from my daughter,
son-in-law, grandchild, granddaughter, and that's okay.
You know, they live in the continental US.
And I, when things have gone really bad,
like with the wildfires and things like that,
it's not, you know, I just happened to realize
who was really there for me.
I'm independent.
I'm very much in my feminine energy.
So it's not that, but I am also used
to doing everything myself.
So that whole boss babe thing, or, you know, boss lady,
that's definitely something in my past, you know,
run my own business, you know,
always set up businesses from scratch,
always had to do things on my own.
I'm just trying to give you a picture.
I hope that's enough.
But, you know, a family where, you know,
mum and dad, six brothers.
So I was very much a tomboy.
And I appreciate, I saw all the, you know,
the whole gamut of malehood.
If you can say, you know, the bad, the good, everything.
My dad was an absolute gentleman.
My mum was an absolute lady.
I've had good examples, but in my own life,
some of what, my goodness, I can't,
forgive me, I can't remember what you said,
but you know, just about that.
The one that spoke earlier that was talking about,
oh goodness, the pretender.
It's so true, you know, just learning to just be quiet.
And I think part of that was because I had always
something to say that annoyed people with my brothers.
For instance, you know, I was the fifth child
and there was big gaps and whatever I said was valid,
but I'm just like, little girl, be quiet.
Just be quiet.
And because I was daddy's favourite and all of that.
So I, you know, I've unpacked some of it,
but I'm also working through it as, you know,
the sister that spoke just before, oh my goodness.
Like I'm kind of encouraging her it's a lie.
I'm a little, I'm in the same age range, shall we say.
I'm not bothered about age and all that.
I don't believe that there's lack,
but I do know that I have not been showing up as myself.
There's something in me sometimes is just like, you know,
when we go out on dates, you know, yeah, I'm not bothered.
And I actually don't feel like I'm bothered
about what we eat.
You know, I have my preferences.
There's things I won't eat,
but I won't compromise my principles or my faith.
You know, we pray together before the meal
and, you know, things like that.
But I definitely know I've not been showing up.
There's a bit of pretender and a bit of,
what was the first one?
The liar.
The first one that I started on.
So there's lies, lies, lies.
Just lies about I'm being a liar, I'm alone.
There's lies.
I didn't mean to segue into a different one.
Forgive me.
It's okay.
Essentially I would say, you know,
that's a big one for me.
And I've been chipping away at it
because I know it's not true.
You know, my daughter and I, you know, we're very close.
Me and my son-in-law have gained a son, you know,
but they're far away.
And so I've just got over hurt with that in recent months,
thinking that they didn't care.
But they do.
You know, they're just going through stuff themselves,
you know, but it's just that lie.
It's a constant and it's something that I battle,
you know, and I battle, you know,
and I leave it to the Lord to, you know,
so that's all I'm sharing.
I'm oversharing and I'm sharing.
Forgive me.
I'm babbling now.
You're doing great.
So what did the Lord share with you
about the lie of abandonment,
about when did that first take root for you?
If you had a good family, which I believe you,
but like, when did that take root for you?
Here's the thing.
Let me say-
Saying good family.
Yeah.
I think this is important for me to pull this out right now.
If you remember the example I used in the book,
some of it isn't something that happened to us directly.
It might've happened to our parents or their parents
and it's coming down through generations.
So Dee could have gone through, and she's going to explain.
could have gone through her own experiences that spoke a lie about abandonment,
but she could also be dealing with and facing things that people before her never resolved.
Do y'all see how that works?
And I really do think that that's a part of it, but go ahead and tell me about abandonment.
Yeah, I'm going to try and keep it light, but something happened to me
with a family member when I was very young, and when that happened,
I literally ostracized myself from the family, like, my mum doesn't love me.
They didn't know. I was very young.
They didn't know what happened, but I know it was the enemy, I know,
and I've got a whole great testimony about it, I won't go into it now,
but the lie started there, the seed was planted that nobody cares,
my little brother, then I had a little brother that was born a few years later, the youngest,
and it was just, basically what happened was the person that did the thing was the favourite.
So in my mind, if I say something, they won't believe me.
That's where it started, and it's something I have really been working on,
and I'm very aware of that's what it is, that's where it started,
because my big aha moment came at 40 years later when I saw a sermon
that was talking about 40 years in the wilderness, literally, the Israelites,
and it was like, boom, oh my gosh, 40 years to the day, kind of,
it was like, oh my gosh, that's what happened, and I've been kind of tied in a lie
for 40 years by the enemy.
I realised exactly what had happened, I'd been tricked, I'd been lied,
and I ostracised myself and separated, and from that moment it was like,
I have to survive on my own, it's me, myself, and I,
literally as a young child under 10, which is sad, but here I am,
and I've come up through it, but I'm still working on it.
Well, and it's a process, ladies, okay?
I want you to understand, heart work is a continual process.
You're not going to be in the ICU your entire life.
We kind of consider this kind of like you're in that ICU incubator right now,
you're going through the deep stuff.
So there might be other things that are deep, but it's not going to feel
as intensive as it is, sometimes it might,
but it's not going to be that consistent for weeks, you know,
as you move forward, but I still use heart work principles and tools
long into marriage, you know, and all different kinds of things.
But what I want to say to you, Dee, two things.
On the independence, I want to encourage you to start praying this prayer.
Lord, I come out of agreement with independence.
That's the beginning part, and let me, tell me when you're ready.
I'm ready, I'm like, I wish I did shorthand still, but I don't.
It's okay.
So Lord, I come out of agreement with independence.
Okay.
And I come into agreement with interdependence.
Dependence.
Interdependence on you, God.
So basically we're saying goodbye to independence and we're saying,
God, I need you.
You're my provider.
You're my protector.
You're my defender.
And we're saying, I'm coming into agreement with interdependence on you, God.
I can't do anything apart from you.
We were talking about that even this weekend and Supernatural Saturday
that we would be filled with the Holy Spirit and that we wouldn't try
to even date or go through the heart work without the spirit.
But the flesh is weak.
You all are flesh is real weak.
But the spirit can be willing.
The spirit can be strong.
We got a fan that flame.
So we come out of agreement with independence.
That's thing.
Number one.
Number two.
When you said the thing about how you ostracized yourself from your
family, totally understand.
You don't even have to tell me the full story.
Understand why you did that and why that happened.
This is what I saw in my, in my spirit.
This is a prophetic activation that you're going to do.
So I want you to understand.
That's what this one is.
Okay.
I want you to, however, you need to do it.
I want you to create a family photo of you during that time.
Back in the family.
Do you understand what I mean?
Yeah.
So even if you were still there.
There was a large part of you that was,
you were separating yourself from them.
You were saying I'm ostracized.
I'm like, you're creating this distance.
You're, you're not, you know, connecting or communicating,
whatever that looks like for you.
So you might've still been there, but on the inside, you weren't.
And so what I'm, what this activation,
I literally saw almost as if you created a family photo and you were
back in the family, but like, that's an internal thing that,
that, that choice.
And you might've already been making that choice,
but creating the picture with yourself in that timeframe and the age
of when that happened with that family member before you started
ostracizing yourself.
There's something about that.
That's going to create some kind of ripple effect of healing in you.
I really.
believe that. And so again, pray into it, put it together, however, the Lord leads you to do it.
And let's just see what he shows you anything you need to process. You know, there might even be
additional layers of forgiveness that need to happen that come out of this, but
God, the Lord will lead you in it. And I think it's going to be really great.
But thank you. And yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, I used to actually say self-imposed X star exile was
what I did. But, um, you know, I imagine the photo, it can be in my mind, right. Cause I
don't actually have any images, but so it would have to be, I suppose, but, um,
you can draw stick figures. It really, the point is that you are a part of the family again.
Okay. All right. And you're choosing to be a part of the family again in the spirit.
Does that make sense? Thank you so much. It does. It does.
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing Katie. Go ahead.
Um, so the girls in my group, we all kind of were on the same page. We're the pretenders where you,
you know, everything's always okay. I know it's a big like meme now where it's like the dumpster
fires in the back and you're like, I'm fine. We're fine. Everything's fine. Um, I was a single mom
for so long that I couldn't slow down and, and, and like be real about what was actually going on.
So I constantly was like, everything's fine. You know, like my son one time literally had a
broken hand and I was like, you're fine. You're fine. You know, we have, we have ball practice.
We got to go. And our house floated one time. We lived in a hotel for a month. My daughter got hit
in the face with a softball. And it was like all this stuff in my world was blowing up. And I kept
telling everybody I'm fine. It's okay. You know, and it's a joke now my kids are older, but it's
really not funny, but I've always just pretended like everything was fine or, um, I've kind of
learned now to say, no, I'm not fine. Like, I don't know what's not fine. Like I've gotten
better about it in the last year and I've learned different emotions and stuff, but, um, to be able
to be like, I'm not fine. Give me a minute. I'll figure out why, but I very much feel like the
pretender is part of it. And I remember as a kid, my mom always be like, somebody has it worse.
And I've recently been like, mom, that's not helpful. When you say that, I understand that
somebody else has it worse, but this is my feeling. This is what's happening in my world.
And it's real to me. So the pretender was probably the biggest one in mind.
Yeah. And I, I love that you're acknowledging your feelings and you're actually verbalizing
that to your mom, like, and letting her know, Hey, like saying that isn't helping me.
Um, and people mean well, when they say that kind of stuff, but it really isn't helpful for us.
Right. Um, and so I wrote down before you shared about what your mom said to you,
who did you learn that from the I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. And I'm thinking it's probably mom.
So have you forgiven your mom for kind of putting that blanket of you need to be fine. Other people
have it worse than you over you. Oh, yeah. Um, especially throughout the heartwork program,
I've noticed other lies, like all men are bad or, you know, my mom always taught me
not to have a friend. Like you, you do it on your own. That independence is very,
you know, interesting. Why does she tell you not to have a friend?
Um, well, she didn't physically say it, but she never had friends. Like my parents always had
lots of friends, but they were not really friends. They were just like acquaintances. They would have
big parties, but mom never really had anybody she would call. She would never tell the truth
of what was going on in our house, anybody. Um, and so I actually brought that to her attention
recently. And I was like, you taught me not to have friends like, and here I am in this,
in this season in my life where I don't really have a best friend. My friend walked away from
me back. Well, God removed that friend back in January. And I just am in a season where I don't
have friends. So it was funny when you said earlier, you just don't have them yet. So I like
that. But, um, I think mom just couldn't tell anybody the truth. She was very much a pretender.
She didn't want anybody to know what was going on behind closed doors.
Yeah. And so as you're continuing to process this, Katie,
I just want to encourage you to, um, start thanking God for redeeming your family timeline.
Because not only is he redeeming your timeline, I believe he wants to redeem the whole family
timeline where mom and dad were making decisions like this. And mom was just saying she was okay.
And probably really wasn't. She's probably really struggling. And for whatever reason,
maybe because she was taught that, you know, who knows, and maybe one day she'll tell you,
but for now praying that God will go throughout your whole timeline and just thank him, thank him
for healing it. You don't have to say, God, please do this. Just thank you God for coming
into my family timeline and healing and restoring and redeeming any broken and fallen place and
help me Lord to continue to step in as a kinsman redeemer, to create change for the future.
generations to come behind me. And Lord, thank you for bringing
me a best friend that I can really do life with that will
get me and we can have fun. And whatever you know, that that
dream of like that friend is for you. Now we we we thank God and
we pray for it. But we keep moving forward and don't partner
with I never have any friends don't partner with that stuff,
ladies. Even if in our current situation, I have to watch this
too. Having moved all the way from Kentucky, then Indiana now
down to Florida year, we're almost a year that we've been
here. I mean, yeah, I don't have any friends here in Florida that
I can go hang out with. It'll be very easy for me to constantly
like partner with that because the enemy is trying to convince
me you don't have anybody there for you if you really need
something. Because you know, we pastor a church, you can't just
be friends with everybody in the church. That's not how it works.
You know, but that's not true. I have friends. I just don't have
any here local that I hang out with yet. But I'm working on
that. We're working on that. We're hanging out with other
pastor and leader couples. And, you know, we can prime that
pump, if you will, and allow God to do the rest. And so we don't
partner with I choose to not partner with thoughts like this
is too hard. Or I don't have like nobody loves me. I don't
have anybody there for me. I have to have to come out of
alignment with that stuff. And I have a best friend in my house
built in every single day. He's an awesome best friend. And you
all are going to have that one day too. I believe that and I
speak that if you choose healthy, if you choose healthy,
you can have that too. Amy would love to hear what you have to
say. Hi. Hi. So my sharing was lies. I am I'm good at sharing
that live. I'm not worthy of love. I'm unlovable. I've heard
that from several men that I've dated and I've carried it with
me. And before we even went into the lies, I was writing these
things down. And the one that resonates with me now because
I'm 50 and I'm still single. I do not choose good men. So I
have vowed to wait for God this time, because I'm not going
through it again. But my newest lie is that I'm not good at
relationships. And so I am pretty sure it's all protection
more than like the from the disappointment of still being
single. But yes, I always I tend to keep those lies going and I
was sharing in my group like and I even met in the chat, I
said, memes, what a beautiful way to laugh at your lie and
make it a joke, but it's still the same lie. And so it was kind
of like an epiphany for me when I actually typed that I'm like,
I send these jokey memes and these jokey quotes, and oh my
gosh, she's still single. Oh my gosh, your ex, blah, blah, blah,
you know, funny narcissist jokes, but they're not funny
because they're just continuing to instill that lie in me, even
though I'm laughing at them. And so it was a huge wake up. It's
called my, my love language.
But here's the thing, ladies, did you know that sarcasm is a
self preservation technique? Absolutely. It is. It's
terrible. And here, this is the thing, we don't have to beat
ourselves up about it. But we need to realize that, you know,
at some point, and this is the key, when did that kick in for
us? When was the first time we started being sarcastic or
joking about it? Or saying, you know, I'm just not good at
relationships or you know, whatever, whatever that thing
is, when is the first time we started partnering with that?
When our heart got broken? Okay, probably related to a guy or
could been, you know, something dad said over you or mom
regarding relationships that you're now living into, without
realizing that's happening because of what's in your
subconscious. Well, sarcasm is is literally we're denying
oftentimes what we actually really want. And we're making
jokes about it and trying to use humor to pretend that we don't
really want it.
Yeah, going back to was it Katie before me? It's fine. Yeah,
fine. Yes. Yeah, it's that same thing. And so this was a really
good practice for me, because I was jotting things down the
whole time. And I was like, Okay, I have a lot I have work
to do. But at least I see it now.
Yeah, 100% 100%. And I was kind of expanding on that, because
someone asked in the chat, can you explain how surf sarcasm is
self preservation, just so you know, so you're doing great,
Amy, keep moving.
thing. You've been getting so much breakthrough. It's exciting.
I do want you this week to also the men who told you that you
were unlovable, just really make sure you're coming out of
agreement with the lie that you're unlovable because you're
absolutely lovable. You're incredible. And your spirit
mate, when he finds you, he's going to know he's found a good
thing. And that's what Proverbs 18.22 says. And I believe that
for you. And he's, you know, your spirit mate is gonna like
be highlighted to you. If you all do this the way we coach
you and you walk it out. When you meet your spirit mate, he's
going to be highlighted to you and you're going to be
highlighted to him. Okay, you'll know. And it's not just that
it's only one person out of the whole world, but all you do need
is one. Okay, so you all might not be there yet. We're gonna
see keep saying that tonight, but keep moving, keep healing
and you'll you'll be really amazed at what God leads you
into. Naomi, go ahead.
Hi. Hi. Well, I'm not sure if it's a liar or possible. But
because I've been healing this life that I'm not good enough.
But it's like, there are a lot of things under it under it. So
it's like, I've been healing and I don't know why it keeps
showing up. So for example, when I want to meet someone or
like, I like someone is like, I will disqualify myself
immediately. And I will be thinking like, Oh, I'm not good
enough for that person. So I cannot even like, meet other
person because it will be like that. But that didn't happen to
me before, like I will meet people. And okay, so now it
comes to my mind that, for example, maybe I'm tired of
meeting people and not happening. That is what came to
my mind right now that maybe it's that maybe I'm tired of
meeting people and not going anywhere. And that's why I
decided like, okay, I'm not gonna meet this person because I
know what is gonna, what is going to happen.
Yeah.
I will disqualify myself, I will disqualify myself because I
will be like, well, I'm not like that other person or like that
other woman. Yeah. But it's not always. So here's the thing I
have filmed.
Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.
Even if I have, I have feel like this is a big lie that I have in
my life. Because I've been feeling a lot about it. So a lot
Okay, like,
okay, I just want to make sure I understood what you're saying.
So here's the thing. Anytime we have a repeated story that we're
telling ourselves, that's a cue right there. That's a flag. We
need to come out of agreement with that. Because basically,
you're it's the again, that self preservation stuff's kicking in
because your mind is your your mind, your broken heart that's
being fed, going right into your mind telling you, hey, you
this isn't going to go anywhere. So you might as well not even
try. You're tired of this. You can't keep doing this. You know,
the the person that's overwhelmed, and they just shut
down will overwhelm you all underneath of that is is healing
that needs to happen. Okay. So anytime you're disqualifying
disqualifying yourselves, ladies before you even try, well, that
is definitely a signal of low self esteem and low value. You
don't see your value in yourself. Because why would we
think, hey, I'm not even a try, because that's not going to go
anywhere, because I'm not enough. I'm not this, I'm not
that, versus the what I just said, like a man who found has
found his wife has found a good thing. Are you a good thing? Do
you believe that you're a good thing? And that any like I use
this recently, like when you walk into a room, do you believe
that you fill that room, and that the power of the Holy
Spirit is in you and that everything changes and becomes
more beautiful and amazing? Or do you believe that people don't
even notice that you're there and they could care less if
you're there? Whether that room has people in it or not? What do
you believe about yourself? I believe and I had to learn this.
I had to learn that. Like when I come into a room, and this isn't
a prideful thing. This is genuinely I had to learn that I
have value, and that God put his spirit in me his God colors. And
when I come into a room, man, I light that place up. Do I always
feel that way? In my flesh?
No, sometimes I'm tired and worn out and fatigued and all of the kinds of things that people
experience. Sometimes I have down days, but the reality is, is I have to come out of agreement
with that stuff and partner with what heaven says. So what is heaven saying over you, Naomi?
Who does God say that you are? What does God have to say about the relationships that you're just
disqualifying yourself? You know, these people, maybe they could have been relationships. We
don't know, but at the core, let's ask the Lord to reveal to you the first time that you
disqualified yourself. Let's, let's ask him to reveal that and then start to process the
first time you disqualified yourself and why you did that. And maybe that will heal whatever's
going on there. That's now causing you to live that out again. Okay. Good. Awesome. All right.
I see Holly. Go ahead, Holly. We have one more and then we're going to pray and close up tonight,
ladies. Okay. So breakout room, the first thing that came up to me was a pretender.
And, um, my struggle with the pretender is I feel like I have to,
maybe it's a mix of pretender and the liar, but I have to be dishonest about my desire for marriage.
In front of me, because I'm 46 and, you know, you feel like there's such a stigma,
like what's wrong with them? They're still single. And I know God has marriage,
I know God has marriage coming up for me in this next season. I know it,
um, I've had words about it and I know it's coming, but,
you know, sometimes I'm concerned that I'm not fully embracing it because I'm still scared
to say it, you know, in front of a lot of people.
So tell me who are the people that you're the most afraid to say it in front of? Who are those people?
Um, I don't know. And I don't even know if it's really about the people or about me and just
depending on how I'm feeling. Okay. Do you, who are they friends? Are they people at church?
No, I'm pretty good about saying it in front of most people at church and friends ish, you know,
but I, I'd probably say it's more like in my new job and different people. Um, I don't want to say
when I get married, I've noticed I've been saying if I get married and then,
you know, and then I'm like, Oh, I shouldn't have said that, but I'm so worried about the judgment
that, you know, the, Oh, you know, what's wrong with her. She's still 46 and single, you know,
46 is pretty young. Just saying. Thank you. I'm about to be 47 y'all. And guess what? We're
young. We're young. And even if you're older than that, you're young too. All right. Let's
partner with young. Do you know that God says in his word that he can give us vitality and long
life? I want some of y'all to think about that. Some of you that think you're too far gone.
Ooh, I feel the Holy spirit on that. You think you're too far gone. You're too old.
The enemy's trying to convince you that you don't even have enough life left to live with that
person. Okay. Somebody has been believing that lie because the Holy spirit is lighting my body up.
That's a lie from the pit of hell because God wants you to know tonight that vitality and long
life is going to be yours. And you're going to enjoy that time with your spirit, man. It's going
to be amazing. Yeah. So Holly let's not partner with I'm old and I I'm like too far gone for
marriage and let's partner with, Hey man, Lord, thank you for sending me a spirit mate. Thank you
for helping me prepare. I'm in a preparation season right now, just like Esther was. Thank
you for showing me what I need to heal. The areas that I need to allow you to come in and help me
receive your love and help me to receive good things so that when my spirit mate comes, I'm
going to be able to receive him too. Where you just start ladies. And I know it sounds, I don't
mean to make it sound easy. Okay. I know this is not always easy, but genuinely you all, it's not
about behavior change. It's not about just name it, claim it heart healing and bind with declaring
the truth, declaring the truth. It will shift things before you even get there. Do you believe
that you're a bride? Yeah.
believe right now. Do you believe that you're a bride?
You got to get it down in there deep, deep ladies. I'm a bride.
The Lord told me before Brian ever came into my life, Brian is
my husband, that I needed his partner with the truth. Sorry,
y'all shaking your partner with the truth that I was a bride.
And that started when I went to the retreat in Austin and Jackie
pulled out these sashes that said, I'm a bride, these white
sashes, she made us wear them out in public. And I almost
panicked. I mean, all kinds of stuff it did on the inside. I
mean, I came home, I had the white dress, she made it, we all
had to wear white that night. And I came home and then I was
helping, I was starting to lead in the community that was just
right in the beginning when I was starting to lead and, and I
was leading on Saturdays a lot of time back then. And, and God
told me to get my white dress on and get my bride sash on and
lead that prayer and declare to everybody that I was a bride and
then get them to declare that they were brides too. And it
started this whole thing in our community for a long time. We
were, we were literally getting on live stuff with our bride
gear on. Okay. And, and literally I would walk around my
apartment, like, God, thank you. I'm a bride. Um, I back then, my
name was Stanko. I Bethany Stanko, I'm a bride. And I would
just talk to my spirit and speak truth over myself. And that
changed so much for me. It did. If you all can't, even when
you're by yourself, really believe that you're a bride,
it's going to, again, it's going to be harder when you're moving
on and you're trying to meet someone, you're going to panic
and you're going to strive again, trying to make the bride
thing happen. But if you receive it in your spirit now, Lord,
help me to help me to receive the truth that I am a bride.
You've made me a bride and you're going to lead me to my
spirit mate as I heal. As I go, you're going to, you're going to
guide me. The word declares that he is the voice behind us
telling us the way to go and that he lights a path, a lamp
onto our feet and a light onto our path. If we partner with the
fact that he will not leave us or forsake us, that he's always
with us and we partner with him. We don't just wait for him
to, I wanted him to bring, I literally all did. I wanted him
to bring my spirit mate to my door. That's what I literally, I
actually prayed it. I know some of you probably prayed that
too. All right. But here's the thing. God has all kinds of
plans of how he's going to bring your spirit mate. Now, some of
you might have someone come to your door. I'm not saying it
can't happen, but I actually, you know what, had to get on a
dating app again. And I said, I was never going to do that ever
again. After I met the girl's dad, cause that's how I met him.
And I was terrified that I was going to get schemed again and
have some guy tell me he was a Christian and all this stuff
when he was not living that way. So I had to face my fears after
many conversations with Jackie prodding me, it wasn't just a
decision I made. She, and she nudged me and she nudged, it was
a Holy spirit too. Yes, I did. I met Brian on an app and we'll
talk about that when y'all get into the other phases, y'all
hear more of my story, but, um, yeah, I did. And you know what?
There's a lot of people meeting men and community too. It's
happening in multiple ways. So I want y'all just to receive, but
while you're here in heartwork, let's just start with the
belief that you're a bride. Let's start there. And some of
you might need to go out and buy some bride gear and start
wearing it to activate that, to partner with that. Okay. I know
we went long again. I said, we weren't here. We are. I'm going
to pray us out, Holly. Thank you for sharing. We're going to be
praying for you. And you all remember partner with I'm young.
God, thank you that I'm going to experience the goodness of God
in the land of the living. And that includes my spirit, me
father. Thank you so much for tonight. Thank you for your
truth and your hope in your life. We thank you God that you
would reveal areas for healing, bring things out of darkness
into the light so that we can receive the fullness of your
plans and your promises for us, including, um, the spirit mate
and the love story that you have for us, Lord, where we doubt
where we have unbelief, help our unbelief. God, we ask you to
breathe hope, breathe life, breathe faith. Yes, Lord. We
ask for an impartation of the gift of faith into these ladies
to believe Lord in what they can't see God, just like we
can't see the Holy spirit. We can't see you moving, but we
know you're there. We know God that you're working in ways that
we can't even ask think or imagine in our lives right now.
We thank you for supernatural healing, accelerating healing,
happening in their souls. God, we thank you, God, that you would give them Selah rest,
that you would connect dots, that revelation after revelation and insight would come very
quickly. God, we thank you for it. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Hey, you all, here's
the one thing I know sometimes I get to talking about the bride stuff and I get all excited
and I want you all to look forward to the next phase. I do, but I don't want you all
to rush to get there because y'all will get tripped up doing that. Okay. So even though
I get you excited, I want you to partner with I'm a bride, but I want you to keep doing
the hard work. Stay dialed in. Okay. Stay dialed in. And God has great things in store
for you. All right. Love you all. I'll see you all in the groups. And if anyone, I saw
a couple of their hands that were up that went down. I know we were running out of time.
Please put your post in the group so I can respond to you there. Okay. God bless you.
Have a great night. Thank you.