WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.600 Appreciate it. 2 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:04.480 All right, ladies. 3 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:06.240 It's 7 o'clock on the dot. 4 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:09.880 And I am so excited to see y'all tonight. 5 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:11.600 I hope you've been having a good day. 6 00:00:11.600 --> 00:00:15.160 I got a chance today to coach the 12 o'clock session. 7 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:19.240 And so that was exciting because Carla is out of town. 8 00:00:19.240 --> 00:00:21.640 And I don't ever get to be with the 12 o'clock people 9 00:00:21.640 --> 00:00:22.880 because some of the 12 o'clock people 10 00:00:22.880 --> 00:00:25.080 never come to 8 o'clock because of their schedule. 11 00:00:25.080 --> 00:00:27.840 And so this is my second session. 12 00:00:27.840 --> 00:00:30.960 And I was wondering to myself, like, hmm, 13 00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:33.280 how would this feel if I did sessions all day long? 14 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:35.200 Because there's some curriculum where 15 00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:39.680 I've wanted to do courses and have group sessions where, 16 00:00:39.680 --> 00:00:41.480 not necessarily coaching or relationship, 17 00:00:41.480 --> 00:00:43.240 but other things that I do well. 18 00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:45.040 And so I'm kind of getting a feel of that. 19 00:00:45.040 --> 00:00:46.000 Y'all done asked for that. 20 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:47.580 That's probably a little bit too much. 21 00:00:47.580 --> 00:00:50.000 But I'll just say this is my experience right now. 22 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:51.080 So that's what I'm doing. 23 00:00:51.080 --> 00:00:52.360 So let's go. 24 00:00:52.360 --> 00:00:55.080 Anybody new to this phase? 25 00:00:55.080 --> 00:00:58.880 First time in our session tonight. 26 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:00.960 Perfect. 27 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:05.360 Hannah, how long have you been in phase two? 28 00:01:05.360 --> 00:01:07.080 A while. 29 00:01:07.080 --> 00:01:08.480 Really? 30 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:10.320 Have you ever been? 31 00:01:10.320 --> 00:01:13.240 Yes, I haven't been able to make the live calls typically 32 00:01:13.240 --> 00:01:14.160 on Tuesdays. 33 00:01:14.160 --> 00:01:17.920 So that's why it worked for me to hop on tonight. 34 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:24.000 But I would say probably since like the maybe mid-April. 35 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:24.640 OK. 36 00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:25.920 And end of April. 37 00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:27.400 So. 38 00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:29.920 In phase two or in the program? 39 00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:31.080 Phase two. 40 00:01:31.080 --> 00:01:31.800 OK. 41 00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:32.960 Well, that hasn't been that long. 42 00:01:32.960 --> 00:01:34.240 We got some people in phase two. 43 00:01:34.240 --> 00:01:36.600 It's been here about 10, 12, 11, 12, 13 weeks. 44 00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:39.320 Ha, ha, ha. 45 00:01:39.320 --> 00:01:42.560 Hey, hey, Lisa. 46 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:43.320 Hi. 47 00:01:43.320 --> 00:01:45.440 How are you? 48 00:01:45.440 --> 00:01:46.480 Huh? 49 00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:47.480 How are you? 50 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:48.160 I'm good. 51 00:01:48.160 --> 00:01:49.800 Good to see you again. 52 00:01:49.800 --> 00:01:52.640 Good to see you too. 53 00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:55.440 Hey, and Leanne, were you raising your hand 54 00:01:55.440 --> 00:01:58.480 your first time in phase two? 55 00:01:58.480 --> 00:02:00.360 Yes, it's my first time. 56 00:02:00.360 --> 00:02:02.120 And yeah, but I've been responding 57 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:03.560 to some of your stuff, right? 58 00:02:03.560 --> 00:02:04.240 Correct. 59 00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:06.120 I haven't been able to make a live. 60 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:07.280 OK. 61 00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:10.840 But yeah, I've been in phase two for three weeks now. 62 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:12.160 OK, yay. 63 00:02:12.160 --> 00:02:15.200 Well, so good to have all of y'all here on tonight. 64 00:02:15.200 --> 00:02:17.800 Just for some housekeeping, you ladies 65 00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:20.760 know try to grab one video a week. 66 00:02:20.760 --> 00:02:23.800 If you get behind, it's just like you keep getting behind. 67 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:27.240 So I encourage you just to go for it and watch the videos. 68 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:29.880 I don't do well with replays. 69 00:02:29.880 --> 00:02:31.720 Some of y'all may be like me. 70 00:02:31.720 --> 00:02:35.920 So the sessions that happen, or prayers, or Fridays, Saturdays, 71 00:02:35.920 --> 00:02:39.200 sometimes I don't get to go back. 72 00:02:39.200 --> 00:02:41.800 So I try to catch it when it's live. 73 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.520 But however, we want to encourage you guys 74 00:02:44.520 --> 00:02:47.080 to watch your videos, Dating 101, Online Dating, 75 00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:50.920 all those great things, The Divine Feminine. 76 00:02:50.920 --> 00:02:54.000 All of Jackie's teachings are absolutely excellent. 77 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:56.120 I know that you guys know that because you 78 00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:58.200 have been under her teachings. 79 00:02:58.200 --> 00:03:00.600 And it's something about her voice 80 00:03:00.600 --> 00:03:02.120 that I can't get enough of. 81 00:03:02.120 --> 00:03:05.800 And I've been listening to her teaching for a very long time. 82 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:08.560 So yeah, so we want to do that. 83 00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.520 We want to remember not to post things from outside sources 84 00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:13.760 unless Admin approves of it because it 85 00:03:13.760 --> 00:03:15.800 is to keep our community safe. 86 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:18.080 Now, how many of you ladies had an opportunity 87 00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:23.840 to check out the post from Bethany and respond? 88 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:25.600 Yeah, mm-hmm. 89 00:03:25.600 --> 00:03:28.120 That's true, Leanne has responded. 90 00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:34.280 You guys, she posts some really good thoughts, 91 00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:36.360 really good encouragement. 92 00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:39.120 And so as much as you can, as often as you can, 93 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:40.200 check out what she posts. 94 00:03:40.200 --> 00:03:42.240 It's always so very encouraging. 95 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:44.880 And go ahead and post up a reply. 96 00:03:44.880 --> 00:03:50.680 Because you ladies post some really good content. 97 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:53.080 And it's always very encouraging. 98 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:55.520 I can't tell you how many things you guys 99 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:58.960 post that I read that encourage me or speak to my heart. 100 00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:01.760 And the way God speaks to some of y'all, it's just amazing 101 00:04:01.760 --> 00:04:03.200 what he reveals to you. 102 00:04:03.200 --> 00:04:05.280 And so all of you ladies who don't get a chance 103 00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:09.080 to go through and see what your sisters post, please do it. 104 00:04:09.080 --> 00:04:13.240 Even if it's a question, it's still really good. 105 00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:17.120 The way some of you all are able to break down and process 106 00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:19.800 what you are experiencing is so good. 107 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:22.400 And there's never been a post that anyone 108 00:04:22.400 --> 00:04:26.760 has posted in my coaching career that I in some way 109 00:04:26.760 --> 00:04:29.520 could not connect to. 110 00:04:29.520 --> 00:04:33.640 Because us as women, we're just not very far removed. 111 00:04:33.640 --> 00:04:36.360 And we can all learn from each other. 112 00:04:36.360 --> 00:04:40.320 So I just want to encourage you guys to do that. 113 00:04:40.320 --> 00:04:45.840 So Saturday, Jackie talked about us operating in the Holy Spirit 114 00:04:45.840 --> 00:04:49.520 more, right, about our heavenly language. 115 00:04:49.520 --> 00:04:54.640 Was anyone activated in their spiritual language on Sunday? 116 00:04:54.640 --> 00:04:56.560 Did anyone receive that? 117 00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:57.640 No, that's OK. 118 00:04:57.640 --> 00:04:59.560 I was just checking. 119 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:06.160 We're going to do an activation this week and what we're going to do is we're going to piggyback 120 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:13.120 after what Jackie okay we're going to piggyback after what Jackie talked to us about on Saturday 121 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:19.920 and what Bethany also posted on the wall and I have it written down so I have to read it. 122 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:28.400 So we're going to practice seeking God for his plans for our day or our week and we're going 123 00:05:28.400 --> 00:05:32.960 to do that we're going to ask questions of God is like how can we partner with you today. 124 00:05:33.680 --> 00:05:37.440 So you know a lot of times we're used to bringing God our list of what's going to make our world 125 00:05:37.440 --> 00:05:42.240 better because we know he just wants to do everything we want and sometimes I think we've 126 00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:48.000 gotten used to a God that serves us and not a people who serve a God and generally people who 127 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:56.880 serve a God they actually take the the the commands and they do what that guy wants and so sometimes 128 00:05:56.960 --> 00:06:01.200 in our relationship with the Lord this is not to me say that we're not supposed to bring our 129 00:06:01.200 --> 00:06:05.520 cares and concerns to the Lord so please don't hear what I'm not saying but what I'm saying is 130 00:06:05.520 --> 00:06:09.680 we get to practice the opportunity to go to our father and say how can I partner with you today. 131 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:15.440 What plans that you have for me before I made it to this day that you want to see 132 00:06:15.440 --> 00:06:23.280 may manifest in the life that you created. Right in the book of first or second Corinthians it 133 00:06:23.280 --> 00:06:29.360 says that we are God's workmanship that he created us for good works in the things it says 134 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:35.680 that the things that he foreknew about us already he has them planned for us these good works and so 135 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:40.160 that's what we're going to ask the Lord about those good works. So somebody may say Lord what 136 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:47.200 is the good work you have planned for me today? How did you envision this day in heaven when you 137 00:06:47.200 --> 00:06:53.360 shaped me? The Bible says that he knew us he already knew us before he put us in our mother's 138 00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:59.360 womb so all of our days have been numbered he knows everything about them and I know for certain 139 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:05.280 he had a plan for us this day as he does for tomorrow and for the next day and every day until 140 00:07:05.280 --> 00:07:12.720 you get to see him again. Okay so that may be the question you may want to ask. How do you feel led 141 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:19.200 to deny your flesh or what distractions do you feel that you need to deny yourself of? So an 142 00:07:19.200 --> 00:07:26.880 example for me I deny my flesh sometimes I do very well with this when I get emotionally or upset 143 00:07:26.880 --> 00:07:36.480 instead of running to the idol of sugar or food I say no. Instead of running to an idol of shopping 144 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:41.280 the things we do when we don't go to God we're actually going to something else to give us 145 00:07:41.280 --> 00:07:47.840 immediate pleasure, immediate comfort and all of us have a tendency to go somewhere that brings us 146 00:07:47.840 --> 00:07:52.320 some type of pleasure or comfort instead of God and so what I'm saying is what do you want to 147 00:07:52.320 --> 00:07:58.800 deny yourself of? What do you want to deny your appetite of? To say no that's not what we're going 148 00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:09.280 to do or what if so in doing these things they actually do lead to greater intimacy with the 149 00:08:09.280 --> 00:08:17.600 father because you're getting on one accord with him and intimacy is what you desire because it's 150 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:23.120 the Holy Spirit that speaks to you in every part of life in very intimate ways so that you'll know 151 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:29.360 the direction of the Lord and then the last little thing all right um let's ask a question of God 152 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:35.919 kind of piggybacks after what I said it's like how can I serve you today Lord? How can I serve you 153 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:42.480 today king? Because he is a king with a kingdom and if you are a born-again believer and you've 154 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:48.560 confessed Jesus Christ that means you live in that kingdom you have dual citizenship that's 155 00:08:48.560 --> 00:08:54.480 what Paul said you have heavenly citizenship and earthly citizenship so I'm declaring over you 156 00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:59.280 today that thy kingdom come that will be done on earth as it is in heaven through your life 157 00:08:59.920 --> 00:09:05.520 so what are we going to do with it? What we're going to do is that's our activation for the week 158 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:09.200 and then we're going to take some time out and we're going to activate it right now 159 00:09:09.760 --> 00:09:15.920 so how I have it written down we're going to complete create a plan for ourselves now if you 160 00:09:15.920 --> 00:09:20.800 were at one o'clock you already created the plan we're going to create a plan and then Bethany's 161 00:09:20.800 --> 00:09:27.840 post she said for about 50 days if you wanted to 40 days I want to challenge you to this let's 162 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:32.880 break it down to 10 days okay but we're going to create a plan on something that we're going to do 163 00:09:32.880 --> 00:09:38.960 every morning when we wake up to set our mind and affections on God and his plans and what he wants 164 00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:45.200 to do in our life that day so what does that look like um you may wake up and say I'm going to pray 165 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:51.920 for five minutes every morning for the next 10 days five minutes and when we pray we're not going 166 00:09:51.920 --> 00:09:56.240 to pray about God I really want you to do this and do this and do this and do this and do this and 167 00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:59.600 do this because I know you want it for me and I know you want that for me and I know you want this 168 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:00.260 for me 169 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.000 I want you to do this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. 170 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:03.400 And when you get through with your prayer, 171 00:10:03.400 --> 00:10:06.880 I want you to count how many times that you hear me in your prayer. 172 00:10:08.800 --> 00:10:11.240 And then the next day, when you come back for five minutes, 173 00:10:11.480 --> 00:10:14.680 you're going to come back at a place of surrendering and try it again. 174 00:10:15.240 --> 00:10:18.840 And this is not to say that you don't have a care to lay before the feet of the 175 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:20.760 father, but for five minutes, 176 00:10:20.760 --> 00:10:24.800 take out some time just thanking him and blessing him for who he is in your life 177 00:10:24.800 --> 00:10:28.560 and how faithful he has been. And then your next rest of your day, 178 00:10:28.560 --> 00:10:32.320 you can tell him all about what you want. All right. 179 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:34.440 And so we want to ask him, what are your plans? 180 00:10:34.440 --> 00:10:36.920 Or what are your thoughts for today? All right. 181 00:10:36.920 --> 00:10:40.800 And then maybe somebody else says they want to read their Bible for five 182 00:10:40.800 --> 00:10:44.600 minutes. Maybe you have a devotional that you want to do for five minutes. 183 00:10:45.040 --> 00:10:48.680 Somebody else may want to prophesy over their life for five minutes. 184 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:53.040 You want to go look in the mirror and says you are fearfully and wonderfully 185 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:53.400 made. 186 00:10:53.400 --> 00:10:57.720 You can do hard things because you have a God who is with you, 187 00:10:57.720 --> 00:11:02.160 who is for you, who is never against you. You look in the mirror and look in your 188 00:11:02.160 --> 00:11:05.920 eyes. And you say, if it were me, Ebony, I love you. 189 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:09.360 You are worthy of love. You were designed for love. 190 00:11:10.520 --> 00:11:13.920 And you can do that over and over for the next five minutes. If you like, 191 00:11:13.920 --> 00:11:17.480 it really does change you because I do it. I've done it in the past. 192 00:11:17.880 --> 00:11:21.560 It does something in our brain psychologically. That's why I started doing, 193 00:11:22.040 --> 00:11:24.880 um, maybe you wanted to declare scriptures over your life. 194 00:11:24.880 --> 00:11:29.560 Two of the scriptures that I chose to declare over my life is that I am the city 195 00:11:29.560 --> 00:11:33.480 on a hill. Um, and that I'm the salt and light of the earth. 196 00:11:33.960 --> 00:11:37.200 The reason why I'm doing that is because with our church, 197 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:40.160 we're focusing more on discipleship and evangelism. 198 00:11:40.840 --> 00:11:44.720 And I need to know that who I am because the Bible says that a light or candle 199 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:47.880 should not be lit and put under a basket. And I am a light. 200 00:11:48.760 --> 00:11:52.760 And it says that my light will, my light, when it's set on the hill, 201 00:11:52.800 --> 00:11:54.600 it'll give light to the whole city. 202 00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:57.800 And I'm in the business of giving light to my whole city. 203 00:11:57.800 --> 00:12:01.040 I'm in the business of giving light to all of my neighbors and I'm in the 204 00:12:01.040 --> 00:12:04.000 business of walking up to people and telling them about the gospel of Jesus 205 00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:07.520 Christ. And so these scriptures I feel are going to empower me, 206 00:12:07.560 --> 00:12:11.320 empower me being what God already says that I am, 207 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:15.400 but that I need to be more convinced of. All right. 208 00:12:15.400 --> 00:12:20.000 And then you may say, um, when I get up in the morning for five minutes, 209 00:12:20.040 --> 00:12:25.000 I want to thank God for everything that he has done and did in 210 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:28.720 my life. Or I just want to thank him that I have eyes to see and ears to hear, 211 00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:30.120 a voice to talk and legs to walk. 212 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:32.160 I want to thank him for my arms and my fingers. 213 00:12:32.440 --> 00:12:35.480 I want to thank him for the breath in my body and the organs that function so 214 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:38.400 well. I want to think that I have a functioning heart and not a pacemaker. 215 00:12:38.640 --> 00:12:41.720 I want to think that I have an excellent digestive system and I'm not suffering 216 00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:42.640 from Crohn's disease. 217 00:12:42.880 --> 00:12:46.840 I want to thank him that I don't have osteoarthritis or arthritis 218 00:12:47.560 --> 00:12:50.480 racking through my body. I want to thank him that my back is not in pain. 219 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:53.520 I want to thank him that I don't have scoliosis. 220 00:12:53.520 --> 00:12:55.440 I want to thank him that I'm not in liver failure. 221 00:12:55.560 --> 00:12:58.840 I want to thank him that all is well for me, no matter what's going on. 222 00:12:59.040 --> 00:13:02.320 I want to thank him for my family. I want to thank him for my children. 223 00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:04.600 I want to thank him that I didn't get a call over in the night. 224 00:13:04.760 --> 00:13:07.000 I want to thank him that I woke up and everything was fine. 225 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:09.360 I want to thank him that didn't cause somebody come banging on my door, 226 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:10.880 telling me my house was burning down. 227 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:13.480 There are so many things that you can thank the Lord for. 228 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:16.640 And I guarantee you, it'll take you well past five minutes, 229 00:13:16.800 --> 00:13:20.760 but you will be empowered because you're going to find out just how big and great 230 00:13:20.760 --> 00:13:23.880 and wonderful your God is because he is a keeper. 231 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:26.840 All right. 232 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:31.720 I'm getting a little warmed up myself when you think about the goodness of the 233 00:13:31.720 --> 00:13:36.040 Lord and all that he's done for me. That's what they would say at church, 234 00:13:36.040 --> 00:13:40.240 you know, and the scripture says that when you command your soul to bless the 235 00:13:40.280 --> 00:13:44.280 Lord, and then somebody else may want to do this. 236 00:13:44.280 --> 00:13:47.560 I'm giving you a lot of ideas because sometimes we need them. 237 00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:51.000 You may want to say to yourself over the next 10 days, 238 00:13:51.280 --> 00:13:53.880 every time anxiety rise up on the inside of me, 239 00:13:53.920 --> 00:13:55.520 every time I hear negative thoughts, 240 00:13:55.840 --> 00:13:59.120 every time something goes wrong out of flat tire, whatever it could be, 241 00:13:59.320 --> 00:14:02.760 instead of worrying about a thing, I'm going to swap it out for worship. 242 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:06.360 You may want to challenge yourself over the next 10 days. 243 00:14:06.360 --> 00:14:10.080 When you feel these things happening, you quickly start singing a song. 244 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:13.560 I don't care if it's this little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. 245 00:14:14.280 --> 00:14:16.280 I don't care if Jesus loved the little children. 246 00:14:16.280 --> 00:14:18.280 Maybe you don't know a lot of worship songs. 247 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:21.920 Maybe you have a playlist and in that moment, 248 00:14:21.920 --> 00:14:24.840 you're going to play something or you're going to just, you know, 249 00:14:25.560 --> 00:14:28.480 him a little song that's down in your soul that you already know. 250 00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:32.880 And so those are our options. I hope that I didn't take too long, 251 00:14:32.880 --> 00:14:34.160 but I want to give you a lot of options. 252 00:14:34.160 --> 00:14:37.880 And now we're going to set the timer for five minutes and you're going to come up 253 00:14:37.920 --> 00:14:40.600 with a plan for what you think you want to do, 254 00:14:40.800 --> 00:14:44.040 how you want to connect God with more closely. You can, 255 00:14:44.040 --> 00:14:46.160 some of you guys are driving and I totally understand. 256 00:14:46.400 --> 00:14:50.000 You can post it in the chat if you want to share with the rest of the ladies. 257 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:53.800 And so I'm going to say, is that cool? Any questions about that? 258 00:14:55.920 --> 00:14:59.880 Good. All right. I'm going to set us up for five minutes and. 259 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:13.840 I'll let you know at one minute. We at one minute mark. Okay, go. 260 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:05.000 Silence. 261 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:10.000 Silence. 262 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:15.000 Silence. 263 00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:20.000 Silence. 264 00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:25.000 Silence. 265 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:30.000 Silence. 266 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:35.000 Silence. 267 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:40.000 Silence. 268 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:45.000 Silence. 269 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:50.000 Silence. 270 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:55.000 Silence. 271 00:18:55.000 --> 00:19:00.000 Silence. 272 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:05.000 Silence. 273 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:10.000 Silence. 274 00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:15.000 Silence. 275 00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:20.000 Silence. 276 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:25.000 Silence. 277 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:30.000 Silence. 278 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:35.000 Silence. 279 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:40.000 Silence. 280 00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:45.000 Silence. 281 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:50.000 Silence. 282 00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:55.000 Silence. 283 00:19:55.000 --> 00:20:00.000 Silence. 284 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:22.400 Oh, I forgot all about the one minute, y'all got one minute. 285 00:20:52.400 --> 00:21:22.040 Oh, I forgot all about the one minute, y'all got one minute. 286 00:21:22.040 --> 00:21:31.040 All right, ladies. I hope you ladies were able to hope you guys were able to jot something down. 287 00:21:31.040 --> 00:21:38.040 I hope that something that was shared resonated with you to help you do that as well. 288 00:21:38.040 --> 00:22:01.040 OK, awesome. Let me read the last one. 289 00:22:01.040 --> 00:22:07.040 All right, ladies. So we're going to hold on to this activation and we're going to practice it. 290 00:22:07.040 --> 00:22:12.040 And I want you guys to post throughout the week, post on the community wall. 291 00:22:12.040 --> 00:22:19.040 And I share with you how much wisdom you all carry in your encounters with the Lord are so encouraging. 292 00:22:19.040 --> 00:22:24.040 And so please do share. Share, share what you have going on. 293 00:22:24.040 --> 00:22:28.040 It's always good. And so let's do that. 294 00:22:28.040 --> 00:22:33.040 So, Scott, are you one of those little walking treadmill things? 295 00:22:33.040 --> 00:22:37.040 I was like, why is she like she going backwards? I am. 296 00:22:37.040 --> 00:22:40.040 I've been sitting all day. I'm like, I need to get moving. 297 00:22:40.040 --> 00:22:46.040 Oh, no. Yeah, I understand that. OK. 298 00:22:46.040 --> 00:22:50.040 So, ladies, it is time for you to share. 299 00:22:50.040 --> 00:22:55.040 But before you share, when you share this, I want you to unmute your mics and share. 300 00:22:55.040 --> 00:23:00.040 I want to know your statuses around here. Are you dating? 301 00:23:00.040 --> 00:23:06.040 Are you trying to date? Are you online? What are you doing? 302 00:23:06.040 --> 00:23:09.040 Are you are you dating somebody you've been dating for two or three months? 303 00:23:09.040 --> 00:23:14.040 I need some statuses around here. So let's unmute and give me a status. 304 00:23:15.040 --> 00:23:19.040 One person unmuted. Stop being you. You say something. All right. 305 00:23:19.040 --> 00:23:22.040 Go for it. 306 00:23:22.040 --> 00:23:26.040 I'm talking about a dozen a week. What's that, Juanita? 307 00:23:26.040 --> 00:23:31.040 Working on my profile still. OK, profile. Got you. 308 00:23:31.040 --> 00:23:35.040 Laura, I'm talking to about a dozen a week. 309 00:23:35.040 --> 00:23:45.040 Oh, hey, man. 310 00:23:45.040 --> 00:23:48.040 What do you mean? 311 00:23:48.040 --> 00:23:56.040 But but but they but they drop off when I ask for a phone number or a chat. 312 00:23:56.040 --> 00:24:05.040 They they drop off. I've gotten a couple of live dates from guys at church, but they're kind of too old. 313 00:24:05.040 --> 00:24:11.040 How old? And they're 70s. I'm 63. And they're in their mid 70s. 314 00:24:11.040 --> 00:24:15.040 You know, they want them a little young thing. So, you know. 315 00:24:15.040 --> 00:24:18.040 Yeah, I know. 316 00:24:18.040 --> 00:24:23.040 Don't be my forever friends. But they're not they're not the one. 317 00:24:23.040 --> 00:24:27.040 Well, at least you got a couple of days, you know. 318 00:24:27.040 --> 00:24:33.040 My, my, my. It was this guy at my church, my old church. I'm telling you, he got some millions. 319 00:24:33.040 --> 00:24:41.040 And I was like, I think I like you myself, sir. 320 00:24:41.040 --> 00:24:47.040 OK, go for it. Who's next? What are our statuses around here? 321 00:24:47.040 --> 00:24:54.040 Currently dating, trying to figure out a situation with a long distance guy that I've been talking to. 322 00:24:54.040 --> 00:24:58.040 So maybe you can give me some insight at some point in the call. 323 00:24:58.040 --> 00:24:59.040 Oh, yeah, that'd be great. 324 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.040 Can't find you. Who was talking to me. 325 00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:17.040 Hannah. There you go. See the screen was on the other screen. I couldn't even find myself. I'm Hannah. Okay, talking to my long distance. Gotcha. All right. Somebody else is saying for them in the wrong place. Who was that. Wave your hand like this. 326 00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:20.040 It's me, Megan. 327 00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:25.000 I definitely want to talk more about it later. 328 00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:29.480 Okay, who else y'all come in hot because I got a lot of people want to talk 329 00:25:30.280 --> 00:25:36.680 He can come to see y'all. That's what I be thinking. Here we go. Anybody else dating wave everything 330 00:25:37.280 --> 00:25:37.760 Yeah, I 331 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:43.200 I'm on on the apps. 332 00:25:44.280 --> 00:25:52.520 I'm chatting to people. I went on a date last week we set up a date for this week. I don't know that it will happen, though, because he 333 00:25:52.880 --> 00:26:03.280 He has a church thing that he for he forgot that he was involved in. So we're rescheduling pending second date. We don't know when that's going to happen, but we're still talking 334 00:26:04.320 --> 00:26:20.680 And then, yeah, just talking to people on the apps. I'm trying to do my best to like like people outside of what I normally go for, you know, so that's been that's been interesting. I've been like, okay, swiping right 335 00:26:21.520 --> 00:26:25.560 Here we go. It's happening. It's happening. 336 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:32.720 Yeah, and then you look back and they like you back and it was like you look like they're probably like, why did I even pick you 337 00:26:32.840 --> 00:26:33.760 Or real 338 00:26:33.840 --> 00:26:43.840 You try to remember what mindset, you were in and you I'd be like, was I in the mindset of just pick somebody because I really messed up with this. I shouldn't have picked like this canopy. 339 00:26:45.040 --> 00:26:49.320 Anybody else do that. Like, I was in that mindset, but I went to party. 340 00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:51.720 All 341 00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:00.320 Things when I go back to the profile. I'm like, oh my God. 342 00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:08.680 Yes. Okay, ladies. So, um, and I want you guys to know. 343 00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:12.720 Let me clear this up. I've said it a lot of times. I want to say it again. 344 00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:16.640 Coaching is about your life. It's not just about dating relationships. 345 00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:18.080 So no matter what, 346 00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:22.000 if it's a relationship issue with a mom or with the dad or something that 347 00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:25.200 you're struggling, it's all the same. It all builds capacity. 348 00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:28.840 It all builds communication. It all build boundaries. 349 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:33.520 Like all of these things build capacity in the way you handle things. 350 00:27:33.520 --> 00:27:35.480 When you're triggered, it be, you have, 351 00:27:35.520 --> 00:27:39.400 you need to be triggered so you can practice what you've learned, right? 352 00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:40.960 You got to get in the gym and lift weights. 353 00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:44.520 If you want to get strong and we're building strong, powerful, 354 00:27:44.520 --> 00:27:47.680 wise women who are led by God, who has, 355 00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:52.120 who allows God to write their love story while they get equipped for the 356 00:27:52.120 --> 00:27:56.520 promises that he has. All right, so let's get started. 357 00:27:56.560 --> 00:27:58.600 Just raise your hand if you want to share it. 358 00:27:58.600 --> 00:28:03.440 I'm gonna try to write your name down quick as I can. Go ahead. 359 00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:05.760 Um, Hannah. 360 00:28:06.760 --> 00:28:10.760 Hmm. Okay. So are we good? 361 00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:14.600 Yeah. Oh, that's me looking like, what's your screen? You're good. Keep going. 362 00:28:16.800 --> 00:28:21.800 So I was, um, I was in Nashville at the end of April and I just thought, 363 00:28:21.800 --> 00:28:24.920 you know what, this is a perfect time to start going on dates. 364 00:28:25.280 --> 00:28:27.560 So swiped right. And I, 365 00:28:27.600 --> 00:28:30.360 so I play violin and I literally just went down there like, 366 00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:33.600 I'm just going to walk the streets of Broadway and I'm going to go to a 367 00:28:33.600 --> 00:28:36.960 gig and like play a gig while I'm here. So I'm going to go on dates. 368 00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:40.040 So I was just like, put myself out there, went on the dates, 369 00:28:40.080 --> 00:28:43.360 like played some gigs. Like it was great. Um, 370 00:28:43.840 --> 00:28:48.360 met a guy who is from Michigan and strong Christian, 371 00:28:48.360 --> 00:28:51.960 lots of values. Um, so we started talking, went on a date, 372 00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:56.720 and then he actually came to visit in Minnesota, um, 373 00:28:56.760 --> 00:28:59.800 like probably three weeks ago. And he was like, 374 00:28:59.840 --> 00:29:02.960 so his, the visit went well. I mean, it was really discovery to see, 375 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:07.600 like, do we have like connection? Is there chemistry? Um, 376 00:29:09.600 --> 00:29:13.680 it went well, but we never really recapped at the end how it went. 377 00:29:13.720 --> 00:29:17.600 So he went back home to his home state. I'm obviously here and we've been 378 00:29:17.600 --> 00:29:22.240 talking through this time, but like, I, I have to tell you, 379 00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:24.560 I still have a lot of feelings about him. 380 00:29:24.560 --> 00:29:26.920 I don't know if that's because I'm in the, 381 00:29:26.920 --> 00:29:29.400 talking through this time, but like, I, 382 00:29:29.560 --> 00:29:33.040 I have not been able to get engaged where he's at. Like, do you like me? 383 00:29:33.040 --> 00:29:35.240 Do you not like me? Like he still reaches out, 384 00:29:35.880 --> 00:29:39.320 but the phone calls are kind of like, um, 385 00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:43.560 like kind of the impression that if he has time to talk, he'll talk. 386 00:29:43.600 --> 00:29:45.360 Like he's initiating the phone calls, 387 00:29:45.360 --> 00:29:49.480 but it's not like setting aside uninterrupted time. It's more like, Oh, 388 00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:52.440 I'm taking my boat on the lake. I'm about to pick my family up. You know, 389 00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:55.960 like, um, his mom or his nephews. And, and so like, 390 00:29:55.960 --> 00:29:57.760 I have seven minutes, seven minutes of chat, 391 00:29:57.760 --> 00:29:59.960 like just lots of kind of staggered. 392 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.740 And so I did reach out last week, and I just asked, like, hey, you know, we never really 393 00:30:05.740 --> 00:30:08.820 had a chance to revisit your time here in Minnesota. 394 00:30:08.820 --> 00:30:11.100 How did that feel for you? 395 00:30:11.100 --> 00:30:14.600 And you know, just kind of curious what's going through your head. 396 00:30:14.600 --> 00:30:18.680 He did say that he was interested, like that he enjoyed getting to know me. 397 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:22.780 It was more like kind of the connection piece, like, you know, just seeing if we do have 398 00:30:22.780 --> 00:30:26.540 something like, like almost like a spark. 399 00:30:26.540 --> 00:30:29.460 So we were going to talk about that over the phone, because this was all over text, and 400 00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:31.640 we were trying to connect over the weekend. 401 00:30:31.640 --> 00:30:33.760 And Friday night, he sends a text. 402 00:30:33.760 --> 00:30:38.940 And it was kind of like, I don't have any immediate plans, but like, something might 403 00:30:38.940 --> 00:30:40.280 come up, but I can talk. 404 00:30:40.280 --> 00:30:43.020 And then it turned into, let's talk Saturday. 405 00:30:43.020 --> 00:30:46.080 So then Saturday, he had like plans come up. 406 00:30:46.080 --> 00:30:47.160 So we chatted for seven minutes. 407 00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:48.320 He's like, let's talk tomorrow. 408 00:30:48.320 --> 00:30:49.320 Let's talk Sunday. 409 00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:52.000 So then Sunday comes, and all of a sudden, he's out on a boat with friends. 410 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:54.000 Like, it just kept getting pushed back. 411 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:56.480 And I kept getting more and more like uninterested. 412 00:30:56.500 --> 00:30:59.700 And I was like, I don't even want to have the conversation. 413 00:30:59.700 --> 00:31:04.860 So by yesterday, I did send a text, and I just said, you know, I really like appreciate 414 00:31:04.860 --> 00:31:08.460 and admire you as a person, but I'm just not really feeling a strong connection to continue 415 00:31:08.460 --> 00:31:09.460 things. 416 00:31:09.460 --> 00:31:10.700 And it was kind of like a breakup text. 417 00:31:10.700 --> 00:31:13.140 I mean, that was really the impression. 418 00:31:13.140 --> 00:31:18.260 And he's like, okay, well, I was waiting for your phone call on Sunday. 419 00:31:18.260 --> 00:31:24.180 And I'm like, he's like, I hope there wasn't a miscommunication. 420 00:31:24.180 --> 00:31:27.760 And I'm like, well, I was waiting for yours on Sunday, because you were up with friends. 421 00:31:27.760 --> 00:31:29.640 I didn't want to interrupt. 422 00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:35.360 And he realized that he sent a text to the wrong person after he got off his boat. 423 00:31:35.360 --> 00:31:39.320 And letting them know that he could chat, he meant to send it to me. 424 00:31:39.320 --> 00:31:42.120 He sent it to somebody else. 425 00:31:42.120 --> 00:31:43.560 So today has been a little awkward. 426 00:31:43.560 --> 00:31:47.080 It was kind of like last night just kind of died off in conversation. 427 00:31:47.080 --> 00:31:49.800 But today, I'm just like, I just don't feel it. 428 00:31:49.800 --> 00:31:51.520 So he did send a text today. 429 00:31:51.540 --> 00:31:55.500 And he was like, you know, just to be clear, like, do you want to keep talking and exploring 430 00:31:55.500 --> 00:31:57.260 where this relationship goes? 431 00:31:57.260 --> 00:32:01.260 Or you know, are you pretty, like decided? 432 00:32:01.260 --> 00:32:03.420 And Ebony, it's like, he has great values. 433 00:32:03.420 --> 00:32:05.540 Like he's, he does have a lot of values I appreciate. 434 00:32:05.540 --> 00:32:10.060 But it's like, at this point, with the long distance thing, I'm just feeling like, I don't 435 00:32:10.060 --> 00:32:14.820 think I feel enough of a connection or a spark to continue, especially since it's, it's felt 436 00:32:14.820 --> 00:32:16.660 very low priority. 437 00:32:16.660 --> 00:32:20.540 And he, I truly believe he didn't mean to, like, make me feel that way. 438 00:32:20.560 --> 00:32:23.240 But he is a very entrepreneurial guy. 439 00:32:23.240 --> 00:32:25.120 It's like, he's always doing something. 440 00:32:25.120 --> 00:32:27.200 He's always on the go. 441 00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:29.600 And the whole like, setting aside time. 442 00:32:29.600 --> 00:32:34.460 It's like he and he's an extrovert, 100% extrovert, like, on the go all the time. 443 00:32:34.460 --> 00:32:41.160 So I just was getting a sense like, it just seems like if nothing better comes up, then 444 00:32:41.160 --> 00:32:43.940 you can talk but we haven't gotten deeper. 445 00:32:43.940 --> 00:32:46.720 It feels like pen pals at this point. 446 00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:52.400 So I don't know how like, I know long distance can be a challenge. 447 00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:55.620 You know, at what point do you recognize like, okay, we do have really great values. 448 00:32:55.620 --> 00:32:57.760 There is a lot there value wise. 449 00:32:57.760 --> 00:33:01.280 And then what at what point do you just kind of recognize, but there's no spark. 450 00:33:01.280 --> 00:33:02.280 Right? 451 00:33:02.280 --> 00:33:06.200 And how long has it been? 452 00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:09.400 We met at the very end of April. 453 00:33:09.400 --> 00:33:14.920 Like the last week of April, he visited mid May, like right after Mother's Day, like the 454 00:33:14.920 --> 00:33:17.760 I don't know, the 13th or the 15th or something. 455 00:33:17.760 --> 00:33:20.920 And then we've been talking since mid May. 456 00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:24.020 But like I said, like there was never any clear communication, like I really enjoy my 457 00:33:24.020 --> 00:33:25.540 time with you. 458 00:33:25.540 --> 00:33:29.280 You know, like you're so pretty, like, it's just been more surface. 459 00:33:29.280 --> 00:33:32.160 It feels very, it feels very platonic. 460 00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:34.800 Like that, that has been my impression. 461 00:33:34.800 --> 00:33:39.800 Before he came to visit you for those three weeks, how much how often did y'all talk? 462 00:33:39.800 --> 00:33:45.480 We were talking like, he was actually like really intentional during those, like, from 463 00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:49.040 the time we met to the time he visited, we would talk at least like a couple times a 464 00:33:49.040 --> 00:33:50.920 week over the phone. 465 00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:54.800 And then pretty much send like, you know, a couple texts a day. 466 00:33:54.800 --> 00:33:58.840 Um, yeah, it was it was a few times a week that we were talking. 467 00:33:58.840 --> 00:34:03.380 So way more intentional, way more intentional. 468 00:34:03.380 --> 00:34:07.880 And then the visit was kind of like, I mean, and he brought it up, he's like, you know, 469 00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:10.840 we're talking, why don't we just plan a visit? 470 00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:12.280 Like he travels all the time. 471 00:34:12.280 --> 00:34:17.080 So long distance is not like he'll hop on a plane to go meet for coffee with a friend. 472 00:34:17.080 --> 00:34:20.520 Like, that's the level of extrovert this guy is. 473 00:34:20.520 --> 00:34:24.520 So he's like, let's just I'll come and visit you if you don't feel it like no pressure. 474 00:34:24.520 --> 00:34:26.760 It'll be a visit, you know, visit to Minnesota. 475 00:34:26.760 --> 00:34:30.960 But when he was here, it, I was trying to gauge him. 476 00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:34.760 It's like he seemed to enjoy his time. 477 00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:40.040 But I did not feel any sort of like, oh, you look so nice in your dress, or, you know, 478 00:34:40.040 --> 00:34:45.400 like, when he was there, did y'all have things that you planned out for y'all to do? 479 00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:46.400 Did y'all? 480 00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:47.400 Did you? 481 00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:50.199 Were you intentional with your time involving him? 482 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:51.679 Oh, yeah, for sure. 483 00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:55.360 We I mean, we, it was like being a tourist in my own city. 484 00:34:55.360 --> 00:35:00.040 We like went to super nice restaurants, we went to coffee shops, he owns a coffee shop. 485 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.640 up where he's from um we like took walks outside because it was beautiful here we were like 486 00:35:06.640 --> 00:35:13.440 exploring different places so we were we were on the go um for like three solid days um 487 00:35:14.640 --> 00:35:24.000 yeah were y'all physical no okay did he try to get physical no okay i'm just trying to add up 488 00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:29.600 all the pieces before i say what i'm saying like i'm trying to get into the world it felt 489 00:35:29.600 --> 00:35:36.720 it felt super platonic like okay like almost like he was he wasn't sure if he liked me and i wasn't 490 00:35:36.720 --> 00:35:42.400 sure if i like him in that way like it felt like we had a friendship i will say this like the first 491 00:35:42.400 --> 00:35:52.880 day that he um was here we we talked okay we spent from 2 30 in the afternoon to midnight because 492 00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:57.760 like we went we were like doing restaurants coffee shops went to see a show went out for 493 00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:05.840 you know dinner afterwards he talked the entire 10 hours except for the two hour show and finally 494 00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:10.560 at midnight when i'm like exhausted i'm like i gotta drop you off at your hotel i need to go 495 00:36:10.560 --> 00:36:15.120 home he's like oh yeah like what are your values like what do you want in somebody i'm like 496 00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:17.920 i just want to sleep 497 00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:31.360 so yeah so yeah you know you guys have been talking for a while and it doesn't sound like 498 00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:36.480 he's very interested to me thank you okay because it didn't it didn't feel like that 499 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:42.080 either to me so i kind of like last week i did initiate a text on thursday and i was and i you 500 00:36:42.080 --> 00:36:46.400 know just asked him like you know we really haven't had a chance to revisit your time here 501 00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:51.680 how did that feel for you you know did you enjoy your time um and i did clarify i'm like you know 502 00:36:51.680 --> 00:36:55.280 i'm really okay with wherever you're at i would just love to know what's going through your mind 503 00:36:55.840 --> 00:37:00.720 and he responded the next day because i sent the text thursday evening he responded in friday 504 00:37:00.720 --> 00:37:04.800 morning and he's like yeah like i really think you're great we share a lot of the core values 505 00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:10.240 you love the lord um he's like i like you it's just more of a matter like long term why is it 506 00:37:10.240 --> 00:37:15.920 for a good connection you're like a good fit time will only tell he's like i'd like to continue 507 00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:21.600 getting to know you and then it was like and then he just asked me like where are you at 508 00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:28.800 yeah but it didn't feel i'll put it this way it's like i didn't i don't feel pursued right 509 00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:34.400 like i don't feel like he's so he's he kind of keeps putting it back in my court at this point 510 00:37:34.400 --> 00:37:39.680 like again we were going to talk about it um after that text we were going to talk over the phone 511 00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:45.760 friday evening he kept pushing it back pushing it back and it was always kind of like i don't have 512 00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:51.040 any immediate plans right now so i can talk but if it doesn't work for you i'll talk tomorrow then 513 00:37:51.040 --> 00:37:57.280 tomorrow came saturday and it was i have plans sunday came and so by the end sunday i was just 514 00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:03.680 checked out like yeah yeah i think it's safe to say he's he's just not that into getting to know 515 00:38:03.680 --> 00:38:11.280 you and that um you've given it a good go for it and if this is how he showed up in the first month 516 00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:17.600 and a half i don't know what what then what it's going to look like later on and so i think that 517 00:38:17.600 --> 00:38:25.360 you know that he's not putting in any effort you feel it you know it and you know ladies sometimes 518 00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:31.200 a person can have really wonderful core values um but if we don't experience them we don't ever get 519 00:38:31.200 --> 00:38:36.640 to see their fruit i only know what you say i don't know what you're doing on that boat i'm just 520 00:38:36.640 --> 00:38:42.720 saying you don't have time with the person you don't get to experience them how do you know them 521 00:38:42.720 --> 00:38:47.760 you only know what they say and you cannot build anything after that so i agree with you hannah 522 00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:54.480 that helps me because i've been like in mental turmoil today like no and it doesn't matter 523 00:38:54.480 --> 00:39:00.160 sometimes what a person says back to us we try to weigh it in but not when this type of time 524 00:39:00.160 --> 00:39:07.360 has passed the only vote that matters at this point is yours hannah because you know how being 525 00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:12.240 trying to do this with him has made you feel and you're not going to override what you've 526 00:39:12.240 --> 00:39:16.640 experienced with him to take his word for something because you've experienced him for 527 00:39:16.640 --> 00:39:22.800 almost two months and there comes a time you guys well we don't override what we've experienced 528 00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:29.280 this is not the second you know second week and he's like oh look i've been super busy but 529 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:33.520 this is what i wanted this is what i'm gonna do and you're not gonna have to worry about that again 530 00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:38.400 that's not what's happening here this is almost going into two months and so you've experienced 531 00:39:38.400 --> 00:39:43.520 this for two months so now you have to take a vote for hannah and then you have to say no hannah's not 532 00:39:43.520 --> 00:39:52.800 going to subject herself to this and whenever you build capacity to date i may no i see that you 533 00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:59.760 don't have capacity to date me we're not going to revisit this right i really appreciate hearing that 534 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.560 Yeah, that resonates deeply. 535 00:40:03.560 --> 00:40:07.680 He kind of kept putting it back on my plate since last night. 536 00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:12.680 Because he was trying to explain himself, and then it was, 537 00:40:12.680 --> 00:40:14.240 do you want to continue? 538 00:40:14.240 --> 00:40:15.320 Are you confident in your? 539 00:40:15.320 --> 00:40:19.320 So I felt like I was having to make the decision a few times 540 00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:20.120 since last night. 541 00:40:20.120 --> 00:40:22.360 And I'll be honest, my personality, 542 00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:26.400 that's a big thing to kind of be vulnerable about. 543 00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:29.400 I feel like I've been very vulnerable since Thursday, 544 00:40:29.400 --> 00:40:31.520 and it's just come back with very low effort. 545 00:40:31.520 --> 00:40:35.400 And so by last night, I was just like, you know, I, yeah. 546 00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:36.720 Like in my mind, I was just like, 547 00:40:36.720 --> 00:40:39.800 I don't think I do want to continue, so. 548 00:40:39.800 --> 00:40:41.600 Yeah, no, you tell them that the experience 549 00:40:41.600 --> 00:40:44.440 that you had thus far is not best for you. 550 00:40:44.440 --> 00:40:46.880 And it's good that you use strong words like that. 551 00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:48.720 The experience I've had with you thus far 552 00:40:48.720 --> 00:40:50.080 doesn't suit me well. 553 00:40:51.640 --> 00:40:53.280 I mean, it's not ideal. 554 00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:55.040 Yeah, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, 555 00:40:55.040 --> 00:40:56.120 I'm not gonna fool with you. 556 00:40:57.120 --> 00:40:58.920 So yeah, thanks, Hannah, for sharing. 557 00:40:58.920 --> 00:40:59.880 That was really good. 558 00:40:59.880 --> 00:41:01.200 Felicia. Thank you. 559 00:41:01.200 --> 00:41:02.800 I appreciate it. You're welcome. 560 00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:07.640 Oh, hi. 561 00:41:07.640 --> 00:41:08.480 Hey, Hannah. 562 00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:09.800 Hi, hi, hi. 563 00:41:09.800 --> 00:41:13.160 So, okay, where do I start? 564 00:41:13.160 --> 00:41:15.920 So yes, I have a guy yesterday who turns out, 565 00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:20.200 it was a text, and apparently on his part, 566 00:41:20.200 --> 00:41:24.720 I think he wanted to talk because the text, 567 00:41:24.720 --> 00:41:28.120 as I mentioned in community that he said, 568 00:41:28.120 --> 00:41:30.240 it was a bit strong. 569 00:41:31.160 --> 00:41:33.000 Oh, yeah. 570 00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:34.040 Remember? 571 00:41:34.040 --> 00:41:35.360 Yeah. 572 00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:36.600 So he wanted to talk, 573 00:41:36.600 --> 00:41:40.320 and I kind of have this reserved mindset 574 00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:42.840 where I just don't like people to call on me right away. 575 00:41:42.840 --> 00:41:45.720 I like to always spend my time to do things. 576 00:41:45.720 --> 00:41:49.280 But I said, you know what, let's get it done. 577 00:41:49.280 --> 00:41:51.840 So I went ahead and, you know, he shared his number, 578 00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:55.440 and I told him I'd prefer him to call me 579 00:41:55.440 --> 00:41:58.320 because, you know, I chose to, you know, 580 00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:01.680 have privacy in that area with my number. 581 00:42:01.680 --> 00:42:04.320 So he did call, and then we talked. 582 00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:07.280 And like I said, you know, it's a discovery. 583 00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:10.120 I think I placed my heart in that section so much 584 00:42:10.120 --> 00:42:12.240 that it's really working on me 585 00:42:12.240 --> 00:42:16.240 that I'm not fuzzy about it, you know? 586 00:42:16.240 --> 00:42:18.280 I mean, I don't know if because, 587 00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:19.680 I don't know if you know my story 588 00:42:19.680 --> 00:42:24.480 that I lost my husband in July coming in three years. 589 00:42:24.480 --> 00:42:29.480 And I think, I don't know where I'm at with it. 590 00:42:30.800 --> 00:42:31.920 I'm ready to move on. 591 00:42:31.920 --> 00:42:33.720 I should be moving on. 592 00:42:33.720 --> 00:42:37.320 But I kind of think that it's so new for me. 593 00:42:37.320 --> 00:42:39.200 I've never had a man friend before, 594 00:42:39.200 --> 00:42:40.640 never in my entire life. 595 00:42:40.640 --> 00:42:42.960 I don't know what that feels like. 596 00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:46.160 So having someone to talk to is very new, 597 00:42:46.160 --> 00:42:47.840 but, you know, I can do. 598 00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:50.160 I can do my best with coaching. 599 00:42:50.160 --> 00:42:51.680 I think when you mentioned, 600 00:42:51.680 --> 00:42:53.320 because I know at some point, 601 00:42:53.320 --> 00:42:55.000 either from coaching or Jackie had mentioned 602 00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:57.560 that we can say that, correct me if I'm wrong, 603 00:42:57.560 --> 00:42:58.600 that we can let them know 604 00:42:58.600 --> 00:42:59.960 that we're doing this with coaching. 605 00:42:59.960 --> 00:43:02.000 And I feel great to say that, 606 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:03.320 because I'm not doing this on my own. 607 00:43:03.320 --> 00:43:05.680 If they ask, so what led me to online coaching? 608 00:43:05.680 --> 00:43:07.120 What led me to the app? 609 00:43:07.120 --> 00:43:09.880 I said, you know, I can say I'm doing that with coaching. 610 00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:13.720 And, you know, basically sometimes they sound like 611 00:43:13.720 --> 00:43:15.840 it's so weird, it's a weird thing. 612 00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:16.800 Like, what is that? 613 00:43:16.840 --> 00:43:20.120 Like, you know, one of my community friends 614 00:43:20.120 --> 00:43:23.640 that they look like they're lost when you tell them that. 615 00:43:23.640 --> 00:43:25.880 So I did say that and he didn't understand it. 616 00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:27.440 Then, you know, when we get talking, 617 00:43:27.440 --> 00:43:29.360 he kind of sound like, you know, 618 00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.960 I don't think when he say, you know, you're a big girl, 619 00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:33.560 you know, I don't think you need anyone 620 00:43:33.560 --> 00:43:34.840 to tell you how to date. 621 00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:37.200 And I said, no, no, no, no, that's not what it is. 622 00:43:37.200 --> 00:43:39.200 But then he said, oh, sorry, he understand. 623 00:43:39.200 --> 00:43:42.560 And I explained to him why I need to walk through this. 624 00:43:42.560 --> 00:43:43.960 He said, no, he understands. 625 00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:44.800 And then he said, 626 00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:46.840 that's what he was kind of misunderstanding 627 00:43:46.840 --> 00:43:48.160 when I was texting him. 628 00:43:49.160 --> 00:43:51.000 He could kind of see through me 629 00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:53.320 that I'm a very firm person. 630 00:43:53.320 --> 00:43:55.400 So I kind of think I need to talk to him about that. 631 00:43:55.400 --> 00:43:58.080 Like, what do you mean when you said he can see through me 632 00:43:58.080 --> 00:43:59.200 and see that I'm firm? 633 00:43:59.200 --> 00:44:02.520 Or I don't know if I was coming off very direct with him. 634 00:44:02.520 --> 00:44:05.520 I don't know if that has to do with because of, you know, 635 00:44:05.520 --> 00:44:07.800 moving into this whole new dating world 636 00:44:07.800 --> 00:44:09.360 I'm getting used to it. 637 00:44:09.360 --> 00:44:11.040 And I just like to tell people, like, 638 00:44:11.040 --> 00:44:11.880 if you ask a question, 639 00:44:11.880 --> 00:44:15.080 I'm going to answer you exactly what it is, right? 640 00:44:15.080 --> 00:44:17.800 So I don't live that if I need some coaching 641 00:44:17.800 --> 00:44:20.400 or just things are coming up, you know? 642 00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:23.320 But I was grateful that he told me that I was, you know, 643 00:44:23.320 --> 00:44:24.600 I seems a bit strong. 644 00:44:24.600 --> 00:44:28.600 But then when we talked, he was like surprised. 645 00:44:28.600 --> 00:44:30.600 Like, I can't believe that I see your pictures 646 00:44:30.600 --> 00:44:34.640 and the voice is different and the text is different. 647 00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:36.800 But he kind of holding on, like he's texting me. 648 00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:37.640 Where are you? 649 00:44:37.640 --> 00:44:40.040 I'm like, I'm like. 650 00:44:40.040 --> 00:44:40.880 Where are you? 651 00:44:41.080 --> 00:44:42.680 Like, what are you doing today? 652 00:44:42.680 --> 00:44:43.880 And I'm like, oh, God. 653 00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:47.760 Oh, I see. 654 00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:50.680 Can you read the text to me that you sent him? 655 00:44:50.680 --> 00:44:52.800 Okay, let me go over there and see. 656 00:44:55.640 --> 00:44:58.520 Okay, let's get over there and see what's going on here. 657 00:44:58.520 --> 00:44:59.560 Let's find him. 658 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:10.920 So, okay, let's go over here, we're going to go into the matches, right? 659 00:45:10.920 --> 00:45:20.200 All right, so, yeah, so he says, he's kind of one that I didn't want to answer, and he 660 00:45:20.200 --> 00:45:21.200 did. 661 00:45:21.200 --> 00:45:30.480 Okay, so he started by saying, okay, let's start here, where he said, he was talking 662 00:45:30.480 --> 00:45:36.000 about a watermelon fast, let's see here, okay, he said, Hi, Felicia, how are you? 663 00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:37.000 What's the weather like there? 664 00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:41.600 So we talked about that, you know, what I'm doing, and it's raining now. 665 00:45:41.600 --> 00:45:43.760 So he said he's chilling. 666 00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:46.280 That's all he's preparing to do for a fast. 667 00:45:46.280 --> 00:45:47.280 I didn't understand that. 668 00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:49.520 So I wanted him to explain that to me. 669 00:45:49.520 --> 00:45:50.520 So I could understand. 670 00:45:50.840 --> 00:45:52.480 So I said, Sorry, I didn't understand the text. 671 00:45:52.480 --> 00:45:56.400 I just wanted to understand so we can track each other conversation. 672 00:45:56.400 --> 00:45:58.160 So he said, No, I am home chilling. 673 00:45:58.160 --> 00:46:03.640 That's all I'm preparing myself for a fast where I am going to do a 70 watermelon fast. 674 00:46:03.640 --> 00:46:05.920 I said, Oh, got you. 675 00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:06.920 Wow. 676 00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:07.920 First time doing it. 677 00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:08.920 He said, I am funny. 678 00:46:08.920 --> 00:46:09.920 I was like, Okay, what? 679 00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:13.320 And I asked him, what's the benefit of that? 680 00:46:13.320 --> 00:46:14.320 He said, What did you find? 681 00:46:14.320 --> 00:46:16.560 So I asked him, What did you find funny in that? 682 00:46:16.560 --> 00:46:18.720 You know, I kind of want to know what he sees funny. 683 00:46:18.720 --> 00:46:20.840 I want to know if I'm funny, what makes it funny? 684 00:46:20.840 --> 00:46:26.120 Then he said, No, he said the watermelon fast could be the first and whatever. 685 00:46:26.120 --> 00:46:32.440 Then he said, Is what I said, what is what I said about understanding him was funny to 686 00:46:32.440 --> 00:46:33.440 him. 687 00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:35.440 Why he said I was funny. 688 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:38.880 Then he talked about the benefit of the watermelon fast. 689 00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:42.120 And then we went into he asked me, What do I do in that era? 690 00:46:42.120 --> 00:46:47.680 So I did green smoothie fast before organic fast before and all that good stuff. 691 00:46:47.680 --> 00:46:53.440 Then he said, he talked about the watermelon fast again, what it does, then I said, he 692 00:46:53.440 --> 00:47:03.600 asked me what, no, he said it's cool. 693 00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:11.840 Then he said, I told him that hearing about a watermelon fast, all I'm thinking naturally 694 00:47:11.840 --> 00:47:16.080 is the sweetness of it, not knowing there's great benefit behind it. 695 00:47:16.080 --> 00:47:18.200 Then he said, Felicia, yeah. 696 00:47:18.200 --> 00:47:21.760 So what type of relationship are you looking for on this app? 697 00:47:21.760 --> 00:47:23.760 And I said, I'm looking for a friend. 698 00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:26.000 No, he said, he answered me first. 699 00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:33.600 I answered him and said, I am looking for a mature marriage-binded man, right? 700 00:47:33.600 --> 00:47:38.720 He said, he's looking for a friend, buddy, wifey, long term. 701 00:47:38.720 --> 00:47:42.080 Then he asked me, when was the last time you were with someone? 702 00:47:42.080 --> 00:47:47.440 I tell you my mind, I saw it, but I was like, is he asking me if I was sleeping with someone? 703 00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:51.280 Our mind can be so filthy if we're not reading things. 704 00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:57.200 But when I went back and read it, he was just asking me like, you know, what creates single, 705 00:47:57.200 --> 00:47:59.040 what create my singleness? 706 00:47:59.040 --> 00:48:00.720 And I said, we can be so wrong. 707 00:48:01.520 --> 00:48:05.760 When I look at the text, I said, the guy's just asking me, you know, how long I've been 708 00:48:05.760 --> 00:48:06.640 single. 709 00:48:06.640 --> 00:48:10.000 So I told him it's been July coming is three years. 710 00:48:10.560 --> 00:48:13.200 So he asked me what type of relationship I'm looking for. 711 00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:21.120 And I told him, I told him about the singleness, I asked him how the app working for him. 712 00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:26.560 He said, so-so, I haven't had, he haven't found anyone yet. 713 00:48:26.560 --> 00:48:29.040 Hopefully you can be the one for me. 714 00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:30.560 I'm like, oh my God. 715 00:48:30.560 --> 00:48:33.840 Then he said, I said, ha ha, now that's your funny time. 716 00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:38.160 And I said, not finding anyone meaning, because I don't know what he meant. 717 00:48:38.160 --> 00:48:40.560 Did he find, did he talk with people, what he meant? 718 00:48:40.560 --> 00:48:44.960 Then he said, well, you know, conversation here and there, but nothing like, you know, 719 00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:49.920 this long, nothing that this interesting of him talking to me. 720 00:48:50.640 --> 00:48:52.800 He said, he's looking to find a soulmate. 721 00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:54.080 He said, what about me? 722 00:48:54.080 --> 00:48:55.920 I told him what I'm looking for. 723 00:48:55.920 --> 00:48:58.800 Then I mentioned the coaching and he said, why? 724 00:48:58.800 --> 00:49:00.320 He said, why you say that? 725 00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:04.080 So that's where he was getting confused when you hear coaching, he was lost. 726 00:49:04.080 --> 00:49:07.440 Like, well, then he said he wanted to talk with me. 727 00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:10.400 And then we went on the conversation and we start talking. 728 00:49:10.400 --> 00:49:14.240 So I don't know what part of it was kind of strong or, you know, I don't know. 729 00:49:14.240 --> 00:49:17.280 Oh, hold on, what do you pick up? 730 00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:20.000 Yeah, what happened was, it wasn't that you were strong. 731 00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.240 If he had heard you say those things, you said he wouldn't have heard it that way. 732 00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:28.640 He would have heard when you say, you know, I'm looking for a soulmate. 733 00:49:28.640 --> 00:49:31.200 He would have heard when you say, oh, what's that? 734 00:49:31.200 --> 00:49:32.240 That's what he would have heard. 735 00:49:32.240 --> 00:49:33.760 Oh, what's that? 736 00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:35.120 He wouldn't have heard, what's that? 737 00:49:35.920 --> 00:49:36.960 Like, you know what I'm saying? 738 00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:41.280 He could have heard the inclination in your voice, but some things get lost over text. 739 00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:44.400 And so he may have said you came out strong. 740 00:49:44.400 --> 00:49:49.120 It's just because he's not hearing your voice the way we're hearing your voice right now. 741 00:49:49.120 --> 00:49:51.440 And had he heard your voice, he wouldn't, because a lot of, 742 00:49:52.560 --> 00:49:56.960 he didn't, I saw a couple of times where he didn't recognize what you were saying to him. 743 00:49:56.960 --> 00:50:00.080 Like, your slang way of talking. 744 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.760 didn't match his slain and his slain didn't match your slain. 745 00:50:04.760 --> 00:50:06.560 You know, way of communicating. 746 00:50:06.560 --> 00:50:09.160 So now if both of you guys had to use complete sentences 747 00:50:09.160 --> 00:50:12.480 or made, you know, complete statement, 748 00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:13.920 then it would have connected more, 749 00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:15.840 but both of you didn't catch 750 00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:18.700 each other's way of expressing yourself. 751 00:50:18.700 --> 00:50:20.840 Yeah, there are no inflections in text. 752 00:50:20.840 --> 00:50:23.380 And so I think that he was just going by, 753 00:50:24.920 --> 00:50:28.080 he assigned you a voice in his head 754 00:50:29.080 --> 00:50:31.400 based on your picture. 755 00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:34.600 That's why I tell y'all, we cannot text for weeks on end. 756 00:50:34.600 --> 00:50:37.120 You assign a voice to somebody, 757 00:50:37.120 --> 00:50:40.200 you assign a personality to them, 758 00:50:40.200 --> 00:50:41.520 and then everything you hear, 759 00:50:41.520 --> 00:50:44.280 you hear through the assignment that you gave them. 760 00:50:44.280 --> 00:50:47.200 So whether they're going to be your lover boy, 761 00:50:47.200 --> 00:50:49.480 your money man, anything, you can pick it. 762 00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:51.920 He's so awesome in the Lord. 763 00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:54.760 Everything he says is going to look like that to you 764 00:50:54.760 --> 00:50:57.760 because the brain does it, it does it automatically. 765 00:50:58.440 --> 00:50:59.760 You can't stop it. 766 00:50:59.760 --> 00:51:01.360 And so you didn't come out strong, 767 00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:03.800 but I do believe that there was some translation. 768 00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:06.880 This just lost, lost. 769 00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:10.160 And so, and that was, you know, 770 00:51:10.160 --> 00:51:12.040 kind of back and forth, but pretty lengthy, 771 00:51:12.040 --> 00:51:14.180 but you know, it's an early on conversation, 772 00:51:14.180 --> 00:51:16.520 but no, don't be concerned about that. 773 00:51:16.520 --> 00:51:19.140 Well, I will tell you that Felicia, this is true. 774 00:51:19.140 --> 00:51:22.040 You are a straightforward person, 775 00:51:22.040 --> 00:51:24.560 but he didn't hear that from your text. 776 00:51:24.560 --> 00:51:26.000 He created a voice for you 777 00:51:26.040 --> 00:51:28.120 because you didn't say anything very strong, 778 00:51:28.120 --> 00:51:29.280 but it's nothing wrong with you 779 00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:31.840 being a straightforward individual. 780 00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:34.640 And some people find that intimidating. 781 00:51:34.640 --> 00:51:36.560 You are, as much as I've known you, 782 00:51:36.560 --> 00:51:38.360 you are straightforward with what you're going to say, 783 00:51:38.360 --> 00:51:39.560 but you are kind. 784 00:51:40.480 --> 00:51:42.340 I'm a very straightforward person. 785 00:51:44.760 --> 00:51:46.240 It's just how I'm made. 786 00:51:47.480 --> 00:51:50.440 If it's an elephant in the room, I'm going to address it. 787 00:51:50.440 --> 00:51:51.840 I feel safe that way. 788 00:51:52.740 --> 00:51:55.080 It's just like, let's get this straight. 789 00:51:55.080 --> 00:51:56.400 What's going on? 790 00:51:56.400 --> 00:51:57.600 What's happening here? 791 00:51:57.600 --> 00:51:58.960 What's your question? 792 00:51:58.960 --> 00:52:00.320 And so interesting that y'all said, 793 00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:02.160 who else by show of hands, 794 00:52:02.160 --> 00:52:04.200 when he said, when the last time you've been with somebody, 795 00:52:04.200 --> 00:52:05.920 who thought he was talking about sex? 796 00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:07.560 Raise your hand. 797 00:52:07.560 --> 00:52:08.480 I know me too. 798 00:52:08.480 --> 00:52:11.680 I was like, no, he didn't. 799 00:52:11.680 --> 00:52:15.880 See, see, and I've done it before. 800 00:52:15.880 --> 00:52:17.680 Like I've looked at Beckett messages before 801 00:52:17.680 --> 00:52:20.400 and I'd be like, oh, he didn't even say that. 802 00:52:20.400 --> 00:52:24.120 And a lot of times, 803 00:52:24.120 --> 00:52:28.560 you guys will post and be like, he said, hey, beautiful. 804 00:52:28.560 --> 00:52:30.080 I didn't appreciate it. 805 00:52:30.080 --> 00:52:33.840 I'm like, okay, what would you like him to say? 806 00:52:33.840 --> 00:52:35.960 I just didn't appreciate what he said. 807 00:52:35.960 --> 00:52:37.600 I was like, babe, all he said was, 808 00:52:37.600 --> 00:52:39.640 hey, he told you, you were pretty. 809 00:52:42.240 --> 00:52:45.080 Women, y'all don't want to admit this, 810 00:52:45.080 --> 00:52:47.920 but you come in with a little chip on your shoulder. 811 00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:50.200 I don't know what you be processing, 812 00:52:50.200 --> 00:52:52.400 but you come in strong. 813 00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:55.840 And then, so beautiful is not a pet name. 814 00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:58.120 Beautiful is a compliment. 815 00:53:00.480 --> 00:53:02.880 You guys, beautiful is not a pet name. 816 00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:06.480 Hey, baby, baby is a pet name. 817 00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:07.800 Hello, beautiful. 818 00:53:07.800 --> 00:53:09.040 Hello, cutie. 819 00:53:10.600 --> 00:53:12.800 Those are compliments. 820 00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:17.840 When a man sees a pretty woman, he calls her pretty. 821 00:53:17.840 --> 00:53:19.520 And when he sits down to have coffee 822 00:53:19.520 --> 00:53:20.600 with that beautiful woman, 823 00:53:20.600 --> 00:53:23.560 he won't be able to stop talking 824 00:53:23.560 --> 00:53:25.480 because he is nervous. 825 00:53:25.480 --> 00:53:27.480 And all his brain keeps saying is pretty woman, 826 00:53:27.480 --> 00:53:28.760 pretty woman, pretty woman, pretty woman. 827 00:53:28.760 --> 00:53:31.120 Ooh, pretty woman, pretty woman, pretty woman, pretty woman. 828 00:53:31.120 --> 00:53:33.560 I can't believe this pretty woman is talking to me. 829 00:53:33.560 --> 00:53:35.360 Can you believe this pretty woman talking to me? 830 00:53:35.360 --> 00:53:37.280 I can't believe this pretty woman talking to me 831 00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:40.280 because most men don't believe, 832 00:53:40.280 --> 00:53:41.880 men don't get a lot of compliments 833 00:53:41.880 --> 00:53:45.320 like women get compliments, right? 834 00:53:45.320 --> 00:53:47.360 And so, and let me give you one more example. 835 00:53:47.360 --> 00:53:49.000 We're going to keep it moving 836 00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:50.880 because I don't want us to run out of time. 837 00:53:50.880 --> 00:53:52.920 Why is it that a woman in the grocery store, 838 00:53:52.920 --> 00:53:55.360 someone can say, oh, you are so beautiful 839 00:53:55.360 --> 00:53:57.240 and you don't call that a pet name. 840 00:53:59.240 --> 00:54:00.080 Do you? 841 00:54:00.080 --> 00:54:03.200 Do you say, listen, woman, don't call me no pet name. 842 00:54:04.760 --> 00:54:07.800 Because beautiful is not a pet name. 843 00:54:07.800 --> 00:54:09.160 All right. 844 00:54:09.160 --> 00:54:12.280 But pet names within itself are very unhealthy 845 00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:14.600 because it sends a sign that you know a person 846 00:54:14.600 --> 00:54:16.080 better than you do. 847 00:54:16.080 --> 00:54:17.760 And you don't know them. 848 00:54:17.760 --> 00:54:19.920 And it can be offensive 849 00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:23.440 because you're trying to say, you know me and you don't. 850 00:54:24.440 --> 00:54:26.600 And one more other thing, Felicia, 851 00:54:26.600 --> 00:54:30.840 when he asks you what you're doing, what's going on. 852 00:54:30.840 --> 00:54:34.480 I believe that because, and I had the same thing. 853 00:54:34.480 --> 00:54:36.280 It feels like someone's invading your space. 854 00:54:36.280 --> 00:54:37.680 It's like, what you mean what I'm doing? 855 00:54:37.680 --> 00:54:39.560 You don't know me like that. 856 00:54:39.560 --> 00:54:42.880 But I assure you, Felicia, it's just conversation. 857 00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:46.520 They're just reaching out, trying to connect. 858 00:54:46.520 --> 00:54:49.320 And so what they say is, what you're doing? 859 00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:50.520 What's going on? 860 00:54:50.520 --> 00:54:54.080 And I had one of my little cousins, 861 00:54:54.080 --> 00:54:55.880 I will try to coach her. 862 00:54:55.880 --> 00:55:00.880 And she told me, oh, it slid my mind just again. 863 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.080 She just don't like it if I'm if a boy takes her cuz she's like 21. What you doing? 864 00:55:05.080 --> 00:55:08.040 That's all you got to say. I said, well, baby, what do you want him to say? 865 00:55:08.040 --> 00:55:11.920 I called you today actually what you're doing you seem fine with it 866 00:55:14.440 --> 00:55:20.000 Men don't have as many words as women and if they're reaching out they're making a connection 867 00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:24.240 She said well, he could take anybody what you're doing. I said he sure can but he's texting you 868 00:55:25.040 --> 00:55:26.240 and 869 00:55:26.240 --> 00:55:28.240 So, you know 870 00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:34.240 So you would get so worked up about this, but they don't know what to say y'all know how me and I 871 00:55:35.760 --> 00:55:41.360 Don't know how to boys. Thank you know how your brother think they just don't have a lot of words 872 00:55:41.360 --> 00:55:44.000 And that's why we like to move on to a coffee date 873 00:55:44.640 --> 00:55:46.040 quickly 874 00:55:46.040 --> 00:55:50.360 Well, he's willing to drive. He's a car and he knows how to drive 875 00:55:50.360 --> 00:56:02.360 I think he's 150 miles away. I just want to let you know, it's not as I wouldn't do it. I'm just not ready to do it 876 00:56:02.880 --> 00:56:10.280 So he said well, I have a car I can drive. Okay, but I don't know if I should continue because you look like he can 877 00:56:11.120 --> 00:56:13.120 tend to stick 878 00:56:13.200 --> 00:56:14.880 What 879 00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:20.560 Explore more. I don't know if I should let him come that far too because if I tell him he will 880 00:56:20.560 --> 00:56:22.560 He's not like he was ready to meet me 881 00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:25.640 He's looking forward to meet me. He wants to talk 882 00:56:26.160 --> 00:56:27.200 I 883 00:56:27.200 --> 00:56:32.200 Mean just to go meet him like if I have to drive half the journey, I don't feel like I want to do 884 00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:39.400 Well, you come to me but I already told him that I was not planning on driving, you know to him 885 00:56:39.400 --> 00:56:42.000 He said that's when he said I have a car I can drive 886 00:56:42.680 --> 00:56:44.840 Right, okay, you need to go on a coffee date 887 00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:50.400 It's gonna be your first date, right 888 00:56:51.120 --> 00:56:52.880 Yeah 889 00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:56.920 He's driving that far. You have to do more than 45 minutes. I'm telling you it written 890 00:56:56.920 --> 00:56:57.520 Yeah 891 00:56:57.520 --> 00:56:58.360 so you 892 00:56:58.360 --> 00:57:03.560 You need to be prepared for a cup of coffee and a cup of tea a cup of coffee and some ice cream if you like 893 00:57:03.560 --> 00:57:06.640 Toast, I got something just tell me don't put them two together like that 894 00:57:06.720 --> 00:57:13.000 How I ever I want you to go on the date and if he seems like a safe calm person 895 00:57:13.960 --> 00:57:16.440 Go ahead and come out the app from texting 896 00:57:16.600 --> 00:57:21.360 Let's make some face contact whether you want to a video chat or a phone call grab his voice 897 00:57:21.840 --> 00:57:28.760 Put a date down for the coffee date and in the meantime talk to him verbally like he's ready for that. He's just that 898 00:57:29.520 --> 00:57:31.520 Am I 899 00:57:34.680 --> 00:57:39.880 What he said he said he's he's very open he said ask me anything, you know 900 00:57:39.880 --> 00:57:43.480 I don't really want to question him. I can I do I can't do that 901 00:57:43.480 --> 00:57:48.800 But I do he said you can ask me anything that you want to so you want me to challenge him to ask him things? 902 00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:54.120 So well, that's how me and are maybe like whatever you want to know because they talk to women 903 00:57:54.120 --> 00:57:56.720 They know women want to ask everything under the Sun 904 00:57:56.880 --> 00:58:03.800 but you are not a woman that wants to ask everything under the Sun because you're not interested in those things because those things cause 905 00:58:03.800 --> 00:58:08.880 You to be judgmental and me and you tell me too much. I'd be like don't tell me nothing like that. I'm gonna do 906 00:58:12.880 --> 00:58:14.880 So I think staying on the surface 907 00:58:16.200 --> 00:58:21.600 Let's plan a coffee day as quickly as possible not as far out as possible and going your first date 908 00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:24.840 Post what you're gonna wear. Let us support you through it 909 00:58:24.840 --> 00:58:32.000 I just want to see that break happen for you because once you get the first break, it just it just opens the door 910 00:58:33.280 --> 00:58:38.800 So I know you may not feel comfortable. I want to encourage you to go for it. I'm gonna go for it. Okay 911 00:58:40.680 --> 00:58:42.840 All right, uh guy 912 00:58:46.560 --> 00:58:47.760 Okay 913 00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:50.120 well, I'm talking I'm on 914 00:58:50.840 --> 00:58:53.240 Several different apps I did 915 00:58:53.880 --> 00:58:55.480 change my 916 00:58:55.480 --> 00:58:57.040 age range 917 00:58:57.040 --> 00:59:04.420 This week because so I'm 36. Most of my friends are 40 and above so I've normally date guys a lot older than me 918 00:59:05.040 --> 00:59:06.880 and 919 00:59:06.880 --> 00:59:11.520 Typically tend to date guys who have kids because I have dated guys without kids and in my experience 920 00:59:12.040 --> 00:59:16.200 It's just been a different season. I have two kids and they're little and 921 00:59:16.200 --> 00:59:22.560 So I've actually been talking to a couple guys who don't have kids and are a couple years younger than me and 922 00:59:23.080 --> 00:59:27.320 It's actually been really kind of refreshing. I don't feel like they have as much 923 00:59:28.240 --> 00:59:30.240 baggage and 924 00:59:30.960 --> 00:59:33.440 So there's not a lot of guys I'm in Central, Oregon 925 00:59:33.960 --> 00:59:41.160 Not a lot of Christians on the apps in Central, Oregon. It seems I got ARC, which is actually really cool 926 00:59:41.400 --> 00:59:43.400 So I'm talking to guys that aren't 927 00:59:43.960 --> 00:59:45.720 near me and 928 00:59:45.720 --> 00:59:48.200 They're willing to do long-distance. I 929 00:59:48.920 --> 00:59:52.360 Am very busy. I have my own business and 930 00:59:53.000 --> 00:59:57.720 I'm in a leadership position. So I'm flexible, but I'm also not 931 00:59:58.680 --> 01:00:02.200 I'm not a big fan of being in a long-distance relationship 932 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.920 not flexible, so I can travel, I like to travel. 933 01:00:02.200 --> 01:00:04.680 I'm not a big fan of being in a long-distance relationship 934 01:00:02.920 --> 01:00:05.360 I'm trying to talk to guys who are in cities 935 01:00:05.360 --> 01:00:06.960 where I'm willing to travel to, 936 01:00:06.960 --> 01:00:09.800 but I'm looking too far out. 937 01:00:09.800 --> 01:00:11.320 I'm like planning everything out. 938 01:00:11.320 --> 01:00:15.300 I'm like, well, I can't go like somewhere every week, 939 01:00:15.300 --> 01:00:19.040 or I can't go somewhere more than every couple months. 940 01:00:19.040 --> 01:00:22.920 So I guess I'm just trying to kind of, you know, 941 01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:26.840 say I do end up really getting to like someone 942 01:00:26.840 --> 01:00:28.160 who's long distance. 943 01:00:28.160 --> 01:00:32.840 Like, am I to expect them to travel to me 944 01:00:34.320 --> 01:00:38.280 more often than me to travel to them? 945 01:00:38.280 --> 01:00:39.640 Does that make sense? 946 01:00:43.160 --> 01:00:44.880 I mean, and I guess the answer might be 947 01:00:44.880 --> 01:00:46.240 just if they're willing to do that. 948 01:00:46.240 --> 01:00:48.800 I mean, we've been upfront about, 949 01:00:48.800 --> 01:00:51.340 I've been upfront about my willingness to travel, 950 01:00:51.340 --> 01:00:53.120 but just the extent of my travel. 951 01:00:53.120 --> 01:00:56.840 So there isn't anyone that I've really keyed in on right now 952 01:00:57.220 --> 01:01:00.840 we're gonna set up some FaceTimes this weekend 953 01:01:01.880 --> 01:01:02.760 with a few of them. 954 01:01:02.760 --> 01:01:07.060 So I haven't actually had a date with those guys yet. 955 01:01:08.160 --> 01:01:10.520 Three of them have lived in Reading. 956 01:01:10.520 --> 01:01:12.080 We went to the same ministry school. 957 01:01:12.080 --> 01:01:16.480 So we have mutual friends in common. 958 01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:17.400 We have- 959 01:01:17.400 --> 01:01:18.880 Oh, you went to Bethel. 960 01:01:18.880 --> 01:01:20.000 Yeah, yeah. 961 01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:20.840 Oh, cool. 962 01:01:20.840 --> 01:01:21.660 The first year back. 963 01:01:21.660 --> 01:01:22.960 Yeah, I lived in Reading for a while. 964 01:01:22.960 --> 01:01:26.080 So I'm talking to guys who have either lived in Reading 965 01:01:26.080 --> 01:01:28.040 or currently live in Reading. 966 01:01:28.040 --> 01:01:30.240 And I'm in Reading pretty often too. 967 01:01:30.240 --> 01:01:32.440 So I don't know. 968 01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:33.960 I'm just kind of trying to navigate 969 01:01:33.960 --> 01:01:35.920 like how far am I really willing 970 01:01:35.920 --> 01:01:38.360 to date someone long distance 971 01:01:38.360 --> 01:01:41.080 but there's not a ton of options locally. 972 01:01:42.240 --> 01:01:44.340 I would like to meet someone local. 973 01:01:46.760 --> 01:01:47.600 I don't know. 974 01:01:47.600 --> 01:01:48.420 Okay. 975 01:01:48.420 --> 01:01:51.480 So I think that if you're not able to meet someone local 976 01:01:51.480 --> 01:01:53.920 and you're looking at someone long distance 977 01:01:53.960 --> 01:01:55.440 I would say make your distance 978 01:01:55.440 --> 01:01:58.800 about maybe two to three hours type long distance. 979 01:02:00.640 --> 01:02:02.120 That's the thing about long distance. 980 01:02:02.120 --> 01:02:04.200 You have to be upfront with yourself 981 01:02:05.240 --> 01:02:08.680 because I think even if you talk to a guy who says 982 01:02:08.680 --> 01:02:11.280 I'm gonna come to you most of the time 983 01:02:11.280 --> 01:02:13.960 sometimes the weight of that expense 984 01:02:13.960 --> 01:02:16.880 unless you're planning on sharing half of his expenses 985 01:02:18.320 --> 01:02:21.080 can be like, maybe you'll feel some type of way 986 01:02:21.080 --> 01:02:23.920 because he keeps coming to you. 987 01:02:23.920 --> 01:02:25.520 And I just think that if you know 988 01:02:25.520 --> 01:02:28.240 that you're not gonna be able to share that load 989 01:02:28.240 --> 01:02:30.240 you already know you're not gonna do it. 990 01:02:30.240 --> 01:02:32.000 Then it's not best to engage in that. 991 01:02:32.000 --> 01:02:35.200 And not only to mention that long distance relationships 992 01:02:35.200 --> 01:02:38.800 now they come with, it's a great sacrifice. 993 01:02:38.800 --> 01:02:40.640 You're gonna spend more time talking. 994 01:02:41.960 --> 01:02:43.160 You're gonna have to get to know each other 995 01:02:43.160 --> 01:02:45.400 through FaceTime and talking. 996 01:02:45.400 --> 01:02:48.980 And so, that's gonna be a reality, right? 997 01:02:49.940 --> 01:02:52.740 And to get to know a person, you have to experience them. 998 01:02:54.260 --> 01:02:59.220 And so, it's just already a stretch on you. 999 01:02:59.220 --> 01:03:02.260 And so, the person that I get to date, 1000 01:03:02.260 --> 01:03:03.820 he's three hours away. 1001 01:03:04.820 --> 01:03:07.620 Even in that with both of us being school teachers 1002 01:03:07.620 --> 01:03:08.940 and me trying to go there, 1003 01:03:08.940 --> 01:03:10.660 I mean, it take three hours to get there, 1004 01:03:10.660 --> 01:03:12.460 three hours to get back, it take him to drive. 1005 01:03:12.460 --> 01:03:14.780 And you just kind of just be like, 1006 01:03:14.780 --> 01:03:16.140 I wish it was somebody that could just, 1007 01:03:16.140 --> 01:03:18.020 I can call and say, let's meet at the movies. 1008 01:03:18.020 --> 01:03:21.380 And so, let's grab a cup of coffee on Saturday morning. 1009 01:03:21.380 --> 01:03:24.020 And now that it's summertime, 1010 01:03:24.020 --> 01:03:25.540 we're trying to spend more time together 1011 01:03:25.540 --> 01:03:27.980 because you experience each other deep. 1012 01:03:27.980 --> 01:03:30.860 Experience matters, right? 1013 01:03:30.860 --> 01:03:33.460 So, yeah, I agree with you on that. 1014 01:03:33.460 --> 01:03:34.700 Yeah, yeah. 1015 01:03:34.700 --> 01:03:35.540 Yeah. 1016 01:03:35.540 --> 01:03:37.220 Yeah, cool. 1017 01:03:37.220 --> 01:03:38.780 Well, I'm trying to do. 1018 01:03:38.780 --> 01:03:40.540 Do what you can to make happen. 1019 01:03:40.540 --> 01:03:42.980 Yeah, and my problem in the past 1020 01:03:42.980 --> 01:03:44.700 is I've ended up mothering guys 1021 01:03:44.700 --> 01:03:46.140 and I've ended up going too far 1022 01:03:46.140 --> 01:03:47.460 and giving too much of myself. 1023 01:03:47.900 --> 01:03:49.420 And so, I'm trying to keep a healthy balance 1024 01:03:49.420 --> 01:03:51.380 and not tip over the edge and say, 1025 01:03:51.380 --> 01:03:54.300 okay, I'll just, I'll spend all my money and come to you. 1026 01:03:54.300 --> 01:03:55.260 So, cool. 1027 01:03:55.260 --> 01:03:56.100 Thank you. 1028 01:03:56.100 --> 01:03:57.300 Oh yeah, guard yourself well. 1029 01:03:57.300 --> 01:03:59.220 You're doing this right. 1030 01:03:59.220 --> 01:04:00.060 Yeah, yeah. 1031 01:04:00.060 --> 01:04:00.980 Thank you. 1032 01:04:00.980 --> 01:04:01.820 You're welcome. 1033 01:04:01.820 --> 01:04:02.860 Megan. 1034 01:04:05.420 --> 01:04:06.260 Hey. 1035 01:04:08.020 --> 01:04:11.340 So, I have been talking to a few guys. 1036 01:04:11.340 --> 01:04:13.540 There's one in particular I wanna focus on 1037 01:04:13.540 --> 01:04:15.540 for like questions and stuff. 1038 01:04:15.540 --> 01:04:17.380 But it was just, it was a little funny 1039 01:04:18.300 --> 01:04:20.860 because I was kind of between a couple guys. 1040 01:04:20.860 --> 01:04:25.260 One guy, the first one actually was closer in Austin. 1041 01:04:25.260 --> 01:04:27.980 I'm in San Antonio and I was feeling good about it. 1042 01:04:27.980 --> 01:04:30.780 The convo, he's like, I thought he was cute. 1043 01:04:30.780 --> 01:04:32.620 He's a Christian. 1044 01:04:32.620 --> 01:04:35.580 He's tall and I was attracted to him, all these things. 1045 01:04:35.580 --> 01:04:37.500 He ended up asking me on a date. 1046 01:04:37.500 --> 01:04:40.740 And so, I was excited about it. 1047 01:04:40.740 --> 01:04:43.100 And we were planning on going last weekend. 1048 01:04:43.100 --> 01:04:46.060 And then he had said that there was one thing 1049 01:04:46.060 --> 01:04:48.100 he wanted to share with me before we met. 1050 01:04:48.100 --> 01:04:51.660 And I was like, he said that kind of made me nervous 1051 01:04:51.660 --> 01:04:52.780 when he said that. 1052 01:04:52.780 --> 01:04:57.100 And basically, I don't wanna get all into like this. 1053 01:04:57.100 --> 01:04:58.340 I stopped it. 1054 01:04:58.340 --> 01:04:59.300 What's that? 1055 01:04:59.300 --> 01:05:00.140 It wasn't one. 1056 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.160 The one you posted about he wears a diaper. 1057 01:05:02.200 --> 01:05:03.680 Yes, you read that? 1058 01:05:04.000 --> 01:05:05.000 I read it. 1059 01:05:07.120 --> 01:05:11.800 It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. So basically, he just said 1060 01:05:11.800 --> 01:05:16.520 he used to wear diapers for longer than most kids and he like got over it. But he 1061 01:05:16.520 --> 01:05:23.600 like, still likes to wear them for comfort and security. And I was just like 1062 01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:28.200 my mouth dropped. I'm like, what do I do with that information? It was the 1063 01:05:28.200 --> 01:05:35.680 weirdest thing I've ever heard. And I've been on like the abs for a while. So I 1064 01:05:35.680 --> 01:05:40.480 just was like, Can I sleep on it? Like, I really didn't even know how to respond. 1065 01:05:40.480 --> 01:05:44.640 You know, I told him like, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Anyway, the next day 1066 01:05:44.640 --> 01:05:49.760 I was like, No, I really appreciate you being upfront about it. I just I that's 1067 01:05:49.760 --> 01:05:53.840 not something I'm like comfortable with. And so and he didn't respond. So I 1068 01:05:53.840 --> 01:06:00.800 decided I felt like it was that was an okay thing for me to unmatch. I started 1069 01:06:00.800 --> 01:06:04.960 to feel a little freaked out because I'm like, is he gonna try? Because he still 1070 01:06:04.960 --> 01:06:09.160 wanted to meet me after like divulging that info information. But I was like, 1071 01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:13.000 that is weird. It just kind of felt like psycho level, you know? 1072 01:06:14.400 --> 01:06:15.080 Weird. 1073 01:06:15.360 --> 01:06:18.760 Yeah, you would have been even more psycho if you had met up with him. I was 1074 01:06:18.760 --> 01:06:23.360 thinking it was a joke. I'm like, she's gonna follow up and say it was a joke 1075 01:06:23.360 --> 01:06:30.880 or no, it was for real. Like, it was Yeah, nuts. And so the funny thing is, I 1076 01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:35.840 was not talking that I felt like the convo was going better with him the 1077 01:06:35.840 --> 01:06:41.960 diaper. My friends started calling him diaper boy. And so I this other guy, 1078 01:06:41.960 --> 01:06:46.080 David, he's in California. And I was just like, I don't know, I wasn't sure 1079 01:06:46.080 --> 01:06:50.360 about it. I wasn't feeling as excited. And I like, almost went on a date with 1080 01:06:50.360 --> 01:06:55.880 the diaper boy and like, didn't, didn't give David a chance. And I'm like, I 1081 01:06:55.880 --> 01:07:01.880 can't believe that. So anyway, I was a god thing. I'm done. I'm gonna have to 1082 01:07:01.880 --> 01:07:06.280 read these comments later. Um, yeah, it's been actually pretty entertaining 1083 01:07:06.280 --> 01:07:10.120 with some of my friends as they've experienced this with me. So, um, 1084 01:07:10.200 --> 01:07:14.360 anyway, I was like, Okay, let me go back to David. And I'm like, Okay, no, 1085 01:07:14.360 --> 01:07:18.360 he's in California. And I'm just like, maybe it was a god thing that that just 1086 01:07:18.360 --> 01:07:23.120 cut off like immediately. So because that cut off, I started talking to David 1087 01:07:23.120 --> 01:07:30.280 more. So he's I'm 38 about to be 39. He's 36 in California. I felt like 1088 01:07:30.280 --> 01:07:33.400 there were some things like I did think he's kind of cute, but like he's 1089 01:07:33.400 --> 01:07:39.000 shorter, like he, he's an inch taller than me five, seven. And so I'm thought 1090 01:07:39.000 --> 01:07:43.600 about some of the talks like, okay, I'm kind of letting my ego go like go two 1091 01:07:43.600 --> 01:07:51.040 inches less than normal. And I feel like I was like, I want to give him a 1092 01:07:51.040 --> 01:07:56.280 shot because he's been very sweet and genuine and intentional. And so he's 1093 01:07:56.280 --> 01:07:59.760 already had said he would, he would come to meet me. And I was like, well, 1094 01:07:59.760 --> 01:08:04.880 let's do a video chat, you know, kind of get a vibe first. And it went well, I 1095 01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:08.560 was still I still feel like I was feeling it out. And so that happened 1096 01:08:08.680 --> 01:08:13.080 that Friday, it went well, though. And he's very spiritually mature, 1097 01:08:13.080 --> 01:08:18.279 emotionally mature. He told me like, he wouldn't be talking to me if he wasn't 1098 01:08:18.279 --> 01:08:22.319 interested. He's not really interested in a pen pal, like, and he would come to 1099 01:08:22.319 --> 01:08:27.279 meet me like, I honestly like all that. It feels very, you know, I appreciate 1100 01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:33.000 when somebody is direct and, and kind. And he's that way. It felt a little 1101 01:08:33.000 --> 01:08:35.920 overwhelming, because I'm like, I don't know if I'm ready for him to like, buy a 1102 01:08:35.920 --> 01:08:39.960 plane ticket and come here because it's just it feels I'm not used to the whole 1103 01:08:39.960 --> 01:08:44.200 long distance thing. It feels kind of high stakes for me. It's weird, like to 1104 01:08:44.200 --> 01:08:51.439 do this. You know, so I was like, well, let's like play day by day. And so we 1105 01:08:51.439 --> 01:08:55.479 were talking more and I don't feel this pressure from him. I felt like it was, 1106 01:08:55.520 --> 01:09:00.560 you know, natural. And I do feel like we have stuff in common. And like, he likes 1107 01:09:00.560 --> 01:09:04.479 to hike, I'm actually really into health and fitness. And I'm not really sure how 1108 01:09:04.479 --> 01:09:10.200 much he's into that. So the only like, they're very small hesitations about the 1109 01:09:10.200 --> 01:09:13.439 height and like, you know, the health and fitness. And that's just a big part of my 1110 01:09:13.439 --> 01:09:19.479 lifestyle, you know. But I was like, I told him I could chat again. I was like, 1111 01:09:19.479 --> 01:09:23.600 let's do you know, I'm free to FaceTime again, because he's, he's basically been 1112 01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:26.040 very clear with me that he's interested and 1113 01:09:28.880 --> 01:09:32.880 hold on, where does he California? Sorry. Okay, go ahead. 1114 01:09:33.240 --> 01:09:40.760 Yeah. So, um, then we talked again. And I felt like when we talked again, Sunday, 1115 01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:44.439 the attraction was growing. And I also feel like part of that is because he's 1116 01:09:44.439 --> 01:09:49.880 been so genuine and sweet. And, and then he you, you had said something about like 1117 01:09:49.880 --> 01:09:53.160 being nervous when they're when they think the girl's pretty, like he said 1118 01:09:53.160 --> 01:09:57.600 that to me, which was also just kind of, it felt all very genuine. And so he said, 1119 01:09:57.960 --> 01:09:59.960 you know, that when we talked before that I had to catch 1120 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.360 myself, I was kind of like losing track just because I was 1121 01:10:02.360 --> 01:10:05.260 like, man, she's so pretty. And I was like, it just kind of was 1122 01:10:05.260 --> 01:10:10.720 like, it felt like a very genuine compliment. And so, but 1123 01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:14.560 then he said a lot of things about who I am as a person, just 1124 01:10:14.560 --> 01:10:18.960 like, like being sweet and genuine myself and like, 1125 01:10:19.320 --> 01:10:23.440 caring and all these things. So I feel like it's been really 1126 01:10:23.520 --> 01:10:27.360 positive. And then I so I think the attraction has grown and, 1127 01:10:27.800 --> 01:10:31.600 and I told him I'd be open for him to come visiting, come visit 1128 01:10:31.680 --> 01:10:35.840 to come visit me. And, and he said that he might not be able 1129 01:10:35.840 --> 01:10:38.800 to do till August. And I was like, I feel like that's kind of 1130 01:10:38.800 --> 01:10:42.120 far away, because he's got summer work. And he has this job 1131 01:10:42.120 --> 01:10:45.480 that's like, it's and he would want he wanted to, but he was 1132 01:10:45.480 --> 01:10:48.640 like, just realistically, and I and I mentioned that just from 1133 01:10:48.640 --> 01:10:51.240 some counsel, I feel like it's best to within three to six 1134 01:10:51.240 --> 01:10:53.640 weeks, I was like, I think that's too long, like too far 1135 01:10:53.640 --> 01:10:58.520 away. And so I was like, um, yeah, I just said it was too 1136 01:10:58.520 --> 01:11:00.960 far. And then he looked at his calendar. And he's like, Okay, I 1137 01:11:00.960 --> 01:11:04.440 think I can do July 12 week. And that's the one weekend. I was 1138 01:11:04.440 --> 01:11:07.600 like, well, that's, you know, I'm open. So anyway, there 1139 01:11:07.640 --> 01:11:10.800 hasn't been a, you know, confirmation yet, like that 1140 01:11:10.800 --> 01:11:13.440 he's bought the ticket, but we're still talking. And so I'm 1141 01:11:13.440 --> 01:11:15.960 actually starting to feel better about it. I think it's just 1142 01:11:15.960 --> 01:11:19.320 initially, I wasn't super excited. And I know, that's 1143 01:11:19.320 --> 01:11:23.800 okay. I just I know, I think it's growing a little I just I 1144 01:11:23.800 --> 01:11:26.600 sometimes am that way in the past. I've been like, I get 1145 01:11:26.600 --> 01:11:30.560 really excited. And so I know it can be kind of a slow burn. But 1146 01:11:30.560 --> 01:11:33.920 I don't want to be like, I want there to be some excitement. I 1147 01:11:33.920 --> 01:11:36.200 do feel like it's growing a little bit. And I think the 1148 01:11:36.200 --> 01:11:39.840 attraction piece is important. I know I can get a better feel in 1149 01:11:39.840 --> 01:11:44.080 person. And so that's why I would like that. But I do feel 1150 01:11:44.080 --> 01:11:47.760 like the FaceTime helps a little bit with the the feel of that. 1151 01:11:47.760 --> 01:11:48.640 So yeah. 1152 01:11:49.840 --> 01:11:53.960 Yeah, yeah, Megan. Um, well, that's interesting. You guys, I 1153 01:11:53.960 --> 01:11:58.000 want to tell you this. Sometimes when men pursue us, even though 1154 01:11:58.000 --> 01:12:04.560 we say this, we want we actually get afraid when they do. I've 1155 01:12:04.560 --> 01:12:07.640 done it, it was scared the heck out of you. And you'd be like, 1156 01:12:07.640 --> 01:12:11.440 what? Wait a minute, like, back up the longest you running 1157 01:12:11.440 --> 01:12:15.320 behind a man, you ain't got no problem. But as soon as a man is 1158 01:12:15.320 --> 01:12:18.120 intentional, and says what he wants, and what he's gonna do, 1159 01:12:18.120 --> 01:12:24.120 we'll be like, hold up, let's slow down. But it's the thing 1160 01:12:24.120 --> 01:12:27.080 we say we want. So if this was Hannah, Hannah would be glad if 1161 01:12:27.080 --> 01:12:30.120 that man would step up the way this young man, right, Hannah, 1162 01:12:30.120 --> 01:12:32.440 would you have liked this in your situation? 1163 01:12:34.560 --> 01:12:38.040 Let me say I normally actually do like I think because I had 1164 01:12:38.040 --> 01:12:41.400 those hesitations about maybe I was questioning some of the 1165 01:12:41.400 --> 01:12:44.480 attraction, but I think it's growing. So now I'm like, okay, 1166 01:12:44.480 --> 01:12:48.240 I do want him to. So yeah, I think I'm, yeah, it's still a 1167 01:12:48.240 --> 01:12:51.040 little overwhelming, though. I agree. Like, I don't know why 1168 01:12:51.040 --> 01:12:53.920 I'm like, I'm like, I think this is like, maybe stuff that I've 1169 01:12:53.920 --> 01:12:58.360 been praying for. So why am I feeling like hesitant? I think 1170 01:12:58.360 --> 01:13:02.480 some of it's maybe my ego. Like I, I'm used to taller guys, too. 1171 01:13:02.480 --> 01:13:08.440 And, and more athletic guys. And so but I think all the other 1172 01:13:08.440 --> 01:13:11.440 pieces are really like my friend was saying, it's like gold that 1173 01:13:11.440 --> 01:13:14.960 has he I've never really dated somebody as spiritually mature 1174 01:13:14.960 --> 01:13:18.400 as him. Like I felt this cover. I felt this covering over him 1175 01:13:18.400 --> 01:13:21.040 with like the spiritual maturity and emotional maturity. I'm 1176 01:13:21.040 --> 01:13:25.000 like, that actually is really different from my past. And I'm 1177 01:13:25.000 --> 01:13:27.720 really drawn to that. I think that's also drawing some of the 1178 01:13:27.720 --> 01:13:30.960 attraction as well. So I don't I'm starting I think the 1179 01:13:30.960 --> 01:13:34.080 excitement is growing. I just it is different about the long 1180 01:13:34.080 --> 01:13:38.120 distance thing. Like, it feels like a lot for him to come visit 1181 01:13:38.120 --> 01:13:42.400 me. But I, I, I definitely am open to it. 1182 01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:44.880 How long have y'all been talking? 1183 01:13:45.040 --> 01:13:48.160 Well, that was we had started talking like last week, we 1184 01:13:48.160 --> 01:13:52.280 actually met on arc two. And I had the same experience. I 1185 01:13:52.280 --> 01:13:56.320 didn't have a lot of local people on arc. But it came this 1186 01:13:56.320 --> 01:13:58.720 way. So y'all been talking about two weeks, 1187 01:13:59.080 --> 01:14:01.960 um, last week, and then this past weekend was the first video 1188 01:14:01.960 --> 01:14:04.920 chat. So about like, maybe 10 days or something like that. 1189 01:14:04.920 --> 01:14:05.920 Yeah, almost two weeks. 1190 01:14:06.240 --> 01:14:09.920 And so I'm excited for you guys to get to know each other. I do 1191 01:14:09.920 --> 01:14:14.520 want you to keep dating other people. And as you work your way 1192 01:14:14.520 --> 01:14:18.120 up to July, time is going to give you more time to get to 1193 01:14:18.120 --> 01:14:23.000 know him. Yeah. And so that's gonna be good for you. Yeah. And 1194 01:14:23.800 --> 01:14:25.440 so this is exciting. 1195 01:14:26.080 --> 01:14:28.960 Yeah, I think so too. I feel like it feels like a lot of 1196 01:14:28.960 --> 01:14:33.000 buildup before meeting somebody in person. So I wish it could be 1197 01:14:33.000 --> 01:14:37.280 kind of sooner. But he has told me to that he's wants to get to 1198 01:14:37.280 --> 01:14:42.000 know me. And I appreciate that. And so I think I'm growing in 1199 01:14:42.000 --> 01:14:44.760 that, okay, like, I want it to be this reciprocal thing. Like, 1200 01:14:44.760 --> 01:14:47.800 I want to be excited and want to get to know him. And I think 1201 01:14:47.800 --> 01:14:52.240 that's growing with me. So it's really sweet. And after my last 1202 01:14:52.240 --> 01:14:54.720 experience, I had somebody who was like, had a lot of anger 1203 01:14:54.720 --> 01:14:57.440 issues. And a couple of people from church recently, they're 1204 01:14:57.440 --> 01:14:59.680 like, you need a sweet experience. It was like, 1205 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.200 I do. 1206 01:15:01.200 --> 01:15:03.520 Yeah, and so when he comes, I do want you guys 1207 01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:05.160 to kind of date in community. 1208 01:15:05.160 --> 01:15:07.320 Like, you go out with the group first. 1209 01:15:07.320 --> 01:15:09.280 Your first time meeting the person, you guys, 1210 01:15:09.280 --> 01:15:10.800 you know, something like that. 1211 01:15:10.800 --> 01:15:12.360 I think that'll be just safe. 1212 01:15:12.360 --> 01:15:15.200 As you, for a woman, I don't really care how long 1213 01:15:15.200 --> 01:15:16.600 you've been talking to him. 1214 01:15:16.600 --> 01:15:19.720 But you can grab some friends from church the first time. 1215 01:15:19.720 --> 01:15:21.320 It may not be something you're used to, 1216 01:15:21.320 --> 01:15:23.020 but just for your protection, because he's 1217 01:15:23.020 --> 01:15:25.680 going to be here more than a few days, right? 1218 01:15:25.680 --> 01:15:27.480 He's not coming if he comes for the weekend. 1219 01:15:27.480 --> 01:15:29.140 Maybe if you just had a group breakfast 1220 01:15:29.140 --> 01:15:31.420 first touchdown or a group lunch. 1221 01:15:31.420 --> 01:15:33.180 That's the first time you have community. 1222 01:15:33.180 --> 01:15:34.820 Make sure someone knows where you are. 1223 01:15:34.820 --> 01:15:37.380 Make sure that your tracker is on on your phone. 1224 01:15:37.380 --> 01:15:38.660 Yeah. 1225 01:15:38.660 --> 01:15:41.780 Like, these are, any time I go out, 1226 01:15:41.780 --> 01:15:44.420 my sister is always, I'm always connected. 1227 01:15:44.420 --> 01:15:45.460 She's always watching me. 1228 01:15:45.460 --> 01:15:46.780 I always call her when I get there. 1229 01:15:46.780 --> 01:15:47.700 And I'm 42 years old. 1230 01:15:47.700 --> 01:15:48.900 I call her when I get there. 1231 01:15:48.900 --> 01:15:51.540 I call her when I leave the restaurant. 1232 01:15:51.540 --> 01:15:54.020 And she's tracking me, and she's checking on me. 1233 01:15:54.020 --> 01:15:58.620 And so I know he is wonderfully spiritually, 1234 01:15:58.620 --> 01:16:00.860 as far as you know, of these 10 days. 1235 01:16:00.860 --> 01:16:01.660 Yeah. 1236 01:16:01.660 --> 01:16:02.660 Nothing to do with it. 1237 01:16:02.660 --> 01:16:04.020 He is a human being. 1238 01:16:04.020 --> 01:16:05.700 And so I want you to be safe. 1239 01:16:05.700 --> 01:16:08.260 And so that's how we operate in safety, 1240 01:16:08.260 --> 01:16:09.860 no matter who a person is. 1241 01:16:09.860 --> 01:16:12.460 I have been dating the same person probably 1242 01:16:12.460 --> 01:16:15.540 over four months now, and my sister still tracks me. 1243 01:16:15.540 --> 01:16:16.340 Oh, that's good. 1244 01:16:16.340 --> 01:16:19.340 Yeah, well, and I feel like I was hesitant to, like, 1245 01:16:19.340 --> 01:16:22.140 initially, we started on Instagram with the FaceTime. 1246 01:16:22.140 --> 01:16:24.380 Then I gave him my phone number, like, especially 1247 01:16:24.380 --> 01:16:26.780 after the diaper boy situation. 1248 01:16:26.780 --> 01:16:27.580 Oh, Lord. 1249 01:16:27.620 --> 01:16:28.980 I got me kind of freaked out. 1250 01:16:28.980 --> 01:16:31.820 And I was like, because there were some talks on safety 1251 01:16:31.820 --> 01:16:32.780 on the online dating. 1252 01:16:32.780 --> 01:16:36.340 And I'm like, it made me realize, like, oh, safety is big. 1253 01:16:36.340 --> 01:16:38.020 Like, I can't imagine if I actually 1254 01:16:38.020 --> 01:16:39.580 met with that other guy. 1255 01:16:39.580 --> 01:16:43.460 So, like, it kind of just got me a little more hesitant 1256 01:16:43.460 --> 01:16:46.420 with being so quick to give my phone number, you know? 1257 01:16:46.420 --> 01:16:47.220 Yeah. 1258 01:16:47.220 --> 01:16:48.580 She can track you down more easily. 1259 01:16:48.580 --> 01:16:50.780 So, but I felt safer with him. 1260 01:16:50.780 --> 01:16:52.700 Yeah, nobody's going to track you down. 1261 01:16:52.700 --> 01:16:55.220 You can use a Google number, though. 1262 01:16:55.220 --> 01:16:56.020 Oh, that's true. 1263 01:16:56.020 --> 01:16:57.820 No, but, like, they were saying something, 1264 01:16:57.820 --> 01:16:58.780 I think, on the online dating. 1265 01:16:58.780 --> 01:17:00.180 If you give out your phone number, 1266 01:17:00.180 --> 01:17:02.060 they can find where you live or whatever. 1267 01:17:02.060 --> 01:17:03.820 But it made me think, like, with that, 1268 01:17:03.820 --> 01:17:06.740 with somebody I wouldn't trust, like that, the diaper boy, 1269 01:17:06.740 --> 01:17:08.420 I'm like, and he still wanted to meet me. 1270 01:17:08.420 --> 01:17:10.300 I'm like, oh, my gosh. 1271 01:17:10.300 --> 01:17:11.580 Yeah, that was weird. 1272 01:17:11.580 --> 01:17:12.700 Yeah, it was so weird. 1273 01:17:12.700 --> 01:17:14.380 But this guy, I felt safer. 1274 01:17:14.380 --> 01:17:17.340 Like, I'm pretty, I'm a pretty trusting person, 1275 01:17:17.340 --> 01:17:18.540 I think, typically. 1276 01:17:18.540 --> 01:17:20.140 But I think it made me realize I do 1277 01:17:20.140 --> 01:17:21.700 need to have, like, put my guard up 1278 01:17:21.700 --> 01:17:24.220 sometimes in certain situations. 1279 01:17:24.220 --> 01:17:25.740 Those are good, good tips. 1280 01:17:25.740 --> 01:17:26.780 Thank you. 1281 01:17:26.780 --> 01:17:28.340 You're welcome, Megan. 1282 01:17:28.340 --> 01:17:29.380 Keep us updated. 1283 01:17:29.380 --> 01:17:30.300 OK. 1284 01:17:30.300 --> 01:17:30.900 All right. 1285 01:17:30.900 --> 01:17:31.580 We'll do that. 1286 01:17:31.580 --> 01:17:32.460 Stephanie? 1287 01:17:32.460 --> 01:17:33.860 Thanks, Megan. 1288 01:17:36.860 --> 01:17:37.940 Stephanie. 1289 01:17:37.940 --> 01:17:39.380 Stephanie Davis. 1290 01:17:39.380 --> 01:17:41.060 Yeah, OK, Megan, again. 1291 01:17:41.060 --> 01:17:43.260 I just wanted to know. 1292 01:17:43.260 --> 01:17:46.900 Why are you laughing, Eboni? 1293 01:17:46.900 --> 01:17:48.020 Hey, girl. 1294 01:17:48.020 --> 01:17:50.980 I just wanted to find out if you could tell us, 1295 01:17:50.980 --> 01:17:54.300 because I don't know if you said it prior to with Art. 1296 01:17:54.980 --> 01:17:56.780 What are we getting from Art? 1297 01:17:56.780 --> 01:17:59.020 I mean, I'm on Art, but I stopped paying, 1298 01:17:59.020 --> 01:18:00.380 so I need to know. 1299 01:18:00.380 --> 01:18:04.100 Is there, like, a special going on for us as members? 1300 01:18:04.100 --> 01:18:05.380 What is going on now? 1301 01:18:05.380 --> 01:18:08.620 Did you sign up with Art through the link in the app? 1302 01:18:08.620 --> 01:18:11.900 Oh, no, I didn't before. 1303 01:18:11.900 --> 01:18:13.860 So I didn't know. 1304 01:18:13.860 --> 01:18:15.780 Look at Bethany's post. 1305 01:18:15.780 --> 01:18:18.140 And she said, like, she gave step by step 1306 01:18:18.140 --> 01:18:20.500 what you should do for Art so that you can sign up 1307 01:18:20.500 --> 01:18:23.140 through the Resources tab. 1308 01:18:23.140 --> 01:18:23.900 OK. 1309 01:18:24.620 --> 01:18:28.820 And that's how you're going to get the benefits. 1310 01:18:28.820 --> 01:18:30.900 And then when there's those speed dating 1311 01:18:30.900 --> 01:18:33.260 events that come up, then you're going to get 1312 01:18:33.260 --> 01:18:35.460 into those speed dating events. 1313 01:18:35.460 --> 01:18:38.420 So you may see Art posting something about them 1314 01:18:38.420 --> 01:18:40.500 as, like, advertisement. 1315 01:18:40.500 --> 01:18:44.380 But when it's time for the event to happen, you will know. 1316 01:18:44.380 --> 01:18:46.140 It just hasn't been time for it to happen. 1317 01:18:46.140 --> 01:18:48.540 That's the way it was explained to me. 1318 01:18:48.540 --> 01:18:52.380 I think, yeah. 1319 01:18:52.420 --> 01:18:54.580 Sorry, that's my son in the back. 1320 01:18:54.580 --> 01:18:55.300 Oh, no, no, no. 1321 01:18:55.300 --> 01:18:55.860 It was OK. 1322 01:18:55.860 --> 01:18:58.260 I got distracted because I wanted to see 1323 01:18:58.260 --> 01:19:00.900 if Bethany added something. 1324 01:19:00.900 --> 01:19:03.140 So she says she updated the original post today 1325 01:19:03.140 --> 01:19:04.420 to make it more clear. 1326 01:19:04.420 --> 01:19:07.180 The speed dating events aren't live yet. 1327 01:19:07.180 --> 01:19:10.380 Once they go live, you all can register or sign up for them. 1328 01:19:10.380 --> 01:19:13.300 We will let you know when they do go live. 1329 01:19:13.300 --> 01:19:14.980 Sorry for any confusion. 1330 01:19:14.980 --> 01:19:16.180 So some people are asking. 1331 01:19:16.180 --> 01:19:17.620 And we were talking about it today. 1332 01:19:17.620 --> 01:19:20.100 I asked her some questions about it for you all. 1333 01:19:20.100 --> 01:19:21.940 Because I saw some of the posts. 1334 01:19:22.940 --> 01:19:23.940 Huh? 1335 01:19:23.940 --> 01:19:28.260 No, I'm saying I do have the speed dating and the art. 1336 01:19:28.260 --> 01:19:31.900 Because with them now, I do go on them. 1337 01:19:31.900 --> 01:19:34.740 But I don't go as often. 1338 01:19:34.740 --> 01:19:40.260 Because again, it's kind of like finding someone in your area. 1339 01:19:40.260 --> 01:19:43.140 And most of the guys that want to date long distance, 1340 01:19:43.140 --> 01:19:45.860 they will tell you they don't want to do long distance dating. 1341 01:19:45.860 --> 01:19:46.860 They will let you know. 1342 01:19:46.860 --> 01:19:48.100 So it's kind of like most of them 1343 01:19:48.100 --> 01:19:49.420 will tell you when you go on it. 1344 01:19:49.620 --> 01:19:53.820 I just want to make sure I'm maximizing 1345 01:19:53.820 --> 01:19:55.340 what the resources we have. 1346 01:19:55.340 --> 01:19:56.980 So thank you kindly. 1347 01:19:56.980 --> 01:19:58.740 Oh, no, you're very welcome. 1348 01:19:58.740 --> 01:20:00.980 No problem at all. 1349 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.680 If you guys do want to sign up for ARC, 1350 01:20:01.680 --> 01:20:03.680 make sure that you do it through the link. 1351 01:20:03.680 --> 01:20:06.120 That's how you're going to get that, 1352 01:20:06.120 --> 01:20:11.960 according to this post that Bethany made. 1353 01:20:11.960 --> 01:20:13.520 If you've already signed up for it, 1354 01:20:13.520 --> 01:20:15.120 she said there's no problem. 1355 01:20:15.120 --> 01:20:18.160 Just go back through the link on LYSF 1356 01:20:18.160 --> 01:20:22.240 and sign up again through the LYSF. 1357 01:20:22.240 --> 01:20:24.320 What were you saying, Lizzie? 1358 01:20:24.320 --> 01:20:25.680 Same thing. 1359 01:20:25.680 --> 01:20:28.200 So what was the answer to the premium? 1360 01:20:28.200 --> 01:20:31.240 So do we have access to that, or we don't have access to that? 1361 01:20:31.240 --> 01:20:33.480 Did you sign up through the app? 1362 01:20:33.480 --> 01:20:34.120 I did. 1363 01:20:34.120 --> 01:20:36.760 I clicked on the resources, and then I clicked on that app, 1364 01:20:36.760 --> 01:20:38.760 and that's how I signed up for it. 1365 01:20:38.760 --> 01:20:43.920 So I wonder if, let me ask that question specifically 1366 01:20:43.920 --> 01:20:46.200 to Bethany, if you guys get premium. 1367 01:20:46.200 --> 01:20:50.280 Because you're saying that you're still 1368 01:20:50.280 --> 01:20:52.840 not getting access, like you're just 1369 01:20:52.840 --> 01:20:54.040 getting the free part of it. 1370 01:20:54.040 --> 01:20:55.120 Is that right? 1371 01:20:55.120 --> 01:20:56.720 Yeah, I think so. 1372 01:20:56.720 --> 01:20:57.440 OK. 1373 01:20:57.440 --> 01:21:01.520 I'll specifically ask about, do you guys get, 1374 01:21:01.520 --> 01:21:05.000 when you use the affiliate link, are you supposed to get, 1375 01:21:05.000 --> 01:21:08.840 what are the special partnership benefits outside of speed 1376 01:21:08.840 --> 01:21:11.200 dating, right? 1377 01:21:11.200 --> 01:21:14.120 So you're trying to say, do we get like a month free 1378 01:21:14.120 --> 01:21:15.760 or something like that into the app? 1379 01:21:15.760 --> 01:21:17.760 OK, I'll figure it out. 1380 01:21:17.760 --> 01:21:21.640 I'll ask about that, and then I'll make a post. 1381 01:21:21.640 --> 01:21:23.320 Can I also ask one more question? 1382 01:21:23.320 --> 01:21:24.200 Yeah. 1383 01:21:24.240 --> 01:21:28.280 So remember, I put a post about me moving to Calgary. 1384 01:21:28.280 --> 01:21:31.360 There was this one person who did like me on our quiz 1385 01:21:31.360 --> 01:21:32.240 from Calgary. 1386 01:21:32.240 --> 01:21:35.400 But that's like a four-hour flight from here. 1387 01:21:35.400 --> 01:21:37.160 And I know you mentioned that I keep 1388 01:21:37.160 --> 01:21:41.880 dating for myself locally so that I can actually 1389 01:21:41.880 --> 01:21:43.760 go out on a date with them. 1390 01:21:43.760 --> 01:21:46.320 Would you recommend me even liking him back, 1391 01:21:46.320 --> 01:21:48.240 or should I just not do that? 1392 01:21:48.240 --> 01:21:49.480 Like, for now? 1393 01:21:49.480 --> 01:21:50.800 Not do that. 1394 01:21:50.800 --> 01:21:52.160 Got it. 1395 01:21:52.160 --> 01:21:53.520 Yeah, I want you to date. 1396 01:21:53.520 --> 01:21:55.200 I want you to get your coffee date. 1397 01:21:55.200 --> 01:21:58.680 I want you to date locally so you can have that experience. 1398 01:21:58.680 --> 01:22:02.760 I just signed up on Hinge, so we'll see what happens. 1399 01:22:02.760 --> 01:22:04.080 You're going to get a lot of likes 1400 01:22:04.080 --> 01:22:06.400 because your pictures are totally cute, and so are you. 1401 01:22:06.400 --> 01:22:08.720 So you don't have to worry about anything. 1402 01:22:08.720 --> 01:22:12.120 But I already have eight. 1403 01:22:12.120 --> 01:22:13.520 You know, when you first get on the app, 1404 01:22:13.520 --> 01:22:14.800 you be coming in hot, baby. 1405 01:22:14.800 --> 01:22:16.400 They put you in front of everybody. 1406 01:22:16.400 --> 01:22:20.080 So take advantage of it while they're rotating you a lot. 1407 01:22:20.080 --> 01:22:20.800 Sounds good. 1408 01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:21.880 Thanks, Ebony. 1409 01:22:21.880 --> 01:22:22.520 You're welcome. 1410 01:22:22.520 --> 01:22:24.080 Sarah says things that people are more 1411 01:22:24.080 --> 01:22:25.360 responsive on Hinge for her. 1412 01:22:25.360 --> 01:22:27.640 I've never been on Hinge before. 1413 01:22:27.640 --> 01:22:29.320 I always thought it was for young people, 1414 01:22:29.320 --> 01:22:30.840 and then I found out that it wasn't. 1415 01:22:30.840 --> 01:22:35.520 But I had opportunities, and my opportunities didn't pass. 1416 01:22:35.520 --> 01:22:39.120 So I want to take these responses back also 1417 01:22:39.120 --> 01:22:41.320 to Bethany about you not seeing any difference when 1418 01:22:41.320 --> 01:22:43.200 you sign up through the affiliate link 1419 01:22:43.200 --> 01:22:44.840 and when you do it regularly, you guys. 1420 01:22:44.840 --> 01:22:47.320 Sorry, I'm in the messages over here. 1421 01:22:47.840 --> 01:22:53.840 Oh, Sarah said, ARC, Holy, and other Christian dating apps 1422 01:22:53.840 --> 01:22:54.640 were like crickets. 1423 01:22:54.640 --> 01:22:56.720 I know ARC probably would be more than anything 1424 01:22:56.720 --> 01:23:00.760 because they just now trying to branch out into the US. 1425 01:23:00.760 --> 01:23:04.640 Someone asked about tips being safe when you get back out 1426 01:23:04.640 --> 01:23:05.720 into the dating world. 1427 01:23:05.720 --> 01:23:07.520 And one of the things I want to say is, 1428 01:23:07.520 --> 01:23:10.000 please do watch the online dating video 1429 01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:13.800 because they do have a lot of safety tips in there for you. 1430 01:23:13.800 --> 01:23:19.800 And you want to have somebody that knows where you are. 1431 01:23:19.800 --> 01:23:21.880 When I first started dating, you don't 1432 01:23:21.880 --> 01:23:23.120 have to do this is what I did. 1433 01:23:23.120 --> 01:23:26.680 I would take an Uber to the restaurant 1434 01:23:26.680 --> 01:23:28.560 because I dated locally. 1435 01:23:28.560 --> 01:23:32.080 And so that way, you couldn't track my car. 1436 01:23:32.080 --> 01:23:33.560 When you first get out into dating, 1437 01:23:33.560 --> 01:23:35.280 you're not as free flowing as somebody 1438 01:23:35.280 --> 01:23:37.400 who's been doing it for a while. 1439 01:23:37.400 --> 01:23:39.600 And so I was like, oh, I'll just take an Uber. 1440 01:23:39.600 --> 01:23:41.280 One time, one of my friends was with me, 1441 01:23:41.280 --> 01:23:44.640 and they sat across the restaurant. 1442 01:23:44.640 --> 01:23:46.800 Nobody knew they were there, but I felt safe. 1443 01:23:46.800 --> 01:23:48.520 And so that's how I did that. 1444 01:23:48.520 --> 01:23:51.160 And I only did that for a short little while. 1445 01:23:51.160 --> 01:23:56.680 And then, yeah, but someone's always tracking me. 1446 01:23:56.680 --> 01:23:57.960 My sister's always tracking me. 1447 01:23:57.960 --> 01:23:59.400 I have accountability. 1448 01:23:59.400 --> 01:24:03.680 I have a big thing for accountability in my life. 1449 01:24:03.680 --> 01:24:06.720 And that's in all areas. 1450 01:24:06.720 --> 01:24:10.480 And so I have a team of accountability people. 1451 01:24:10.520 --> 01:24:14.120 Even now with the wonderful guy that I'm dating, 1452 01:24:14.120 --> 01:24:16.560 when we go out on dates, we date in community. 1453 01:24:16.560 --> 01:24:19.320 Me and he selected two people from his church. 1454 01:24:19.320 --> 01:24:20.840 They have kingdom marriages. 1455 01:24:20.840 --> 01:24:23.360 And one or the other will go out to breakfast with us 1456 01:24:23.360 --> 01:24:24.240 or to lunch with us. 1457 01:24:24.240 --> 01:24:26.400 And so we get to have fun with them. 1458 01:24:26.400 --> 01:24:29.240 And they also get to mentor us and pour into us. 1459 01:24:29.240 --> 01:24:30.680 And then he's here. 1460 01:24:30.680 --> 01:24:33.440 I have people set up that I admire, some of my leaders 1461 01:24:33.440 --> 01:24:36.200 that we'll go out with and have lunch or dinner 1462 01:24:36.200 --> 01:24:38.960 or go bowling with, that they partner with us. 1463 01:24:38.960 --> 01:24:40.520 They mentor us and they pour into us. 1464 01:24:40.520 --> 01:24:42.120 And they're watching me. 1465 01:24:42.120 --> 01:24:44.640 They're watching my behavior, how I interact. 1466 01:24:44.640 --> 01:24:45.840 They're watching him. 1467 01:24:45.840 --> 01:24:47.480 And they're the eyes that I need. 1468 01:24:47.480 --> 01:24:49.280 Because after we went exclusive, it 1469 01:24:49.280 --> 01:24:51.160 was time to get introduced to my community 1470 01:24:51.160 --> 01:24:54.040 because now it's time for them to investigate. 1471 01:24:54.040 --> 01:24:55.920 Now it's time for the men in my life 1472 01:24:55.920 --> 01:24:59.320 to investigate, to see what I can't see as a woman. 1473 01:24:59.320 --> 01:25:01.280 And it's time for. 1474 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.200 people to investigate me and you know how I'm showing up people who really know me know all 1475 01:25:05.200 --> 01:25:11.280 the things about me and how am I showing up you know so it is really good to do things in community 1476 01:25:11.280 --> 01:25:16.560 in this communities that's why we ask you to share run things by us um let someone help you 1477 01:25:17.520 --> 01:25:23.200 it's worth it because I'm telling you the first two months all of chemistry gets done 1478 01:25:23.840 --> 01:25:28.640 the way God set it up everything wonderful they so great they so generous they so kind they so 1479 01:25:28.640 --> 01:25:33.760 oh they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so it takes time to get past the 1480 01:25:33.760 --> 01:25:40.160 day so and that's okay it's supposed to be that way God put it here for two people to attract 1481 01:25:41.040 --> 01:25:46.560 and then we also can't feel like the guy that I'm getting to know date that I like I wasn't 1482 01:25:46.560 --> 01:25:56.640 attracted to him but he had he was marriage-minded he was mature and he was masculine and he pursued 1483 01:25:56.640 --> 01:26:04.560 me and he pursued me well and so like there were qualities that I was I was looking for 1484 01:26:04.560 --> 01:26:10.720 that that were there and I said okay let me let me let me dive into this let me see what this is about 1485 01:26:12.080 --> 01:26:21.200 and so I I didn't feel no butter I didn't feel nothing for a very long time I don't move a lot 1486 01:26:21.200 --> 01:26:26.400 after feelings and butterflies because my butterflies have always been toxic they've 1487 01:26:26.400 --> 01:26:32.000 always been a toxic attraction there's always been something um and I am not a big even though 1488 01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:36.800 he's handsome I am people don't have to look a certain way for me as long as I look better than 1489 01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:43.360 them it's okay so I am not but no I've learned that really good things come in in different 1490 01:26:43.360 --> 01:26:49.680 packages sometimes and as long as you don't look like a crocodile or alligator everything okay 1491 01:26:50.320 --> 01:26:58.480 we're okay so I'm a little more lax but I've been married before and I know what's gonna cost you 1492 01:26:58.480 --> 01:27:06.720 in covenant I know what's not gonna pay out for me and so I just I just things that I know and 1493 01:27:06.720 --> 01:27:11.680 when you've not been on that side before you still live with a lot of fantasies about what you think 1494 01:27:11.680 --> 01:27:17.200 that life is like but when you get ever over there you realize that it takes communication 1495 01:27:17.200 --> 01:27:22.000 to sustain a marriage even if heaven itself put a stamp on it and said this is your man 1496 01:27:22.000 --> 01:27:26.160 you still gotta know how to communicate with that man you gotta know how to forgive you gotta know 1497 01:27:26.160 --> 01:27:30.720 how to show mercy and I'm telling you this is not because of you like height Megan all women like 1498 01:27:30.720 --> 01:27:36.160 six six feet tall me I don't care how tall he is if you can't respect that man you're gonna have a 1499 01:27:36.160 --> 01:27:40.080 problem in your marriage if you can't communicate you're gonna have a problem in your marriage and 1500 01:27:40.080 --> 01:27:44.720 you're a perfect little six feet tall man y'all gonna be finding yourself getting a divorce 1501 01:27:44.720 --> 01:27:48.720 because you don't have the capacity to do relationship and to do relationship well 1502 01:27:48.720 --> 01:27:54.400 okay how many times he can speak in how many times you can pray I don't care how spiritual you are 1503 01:27:54.400 --> 01:28:03.600 you have to know how to communicate you just do you can you can have all the anointing you want 1504 01:28:03.600 --> 01:28:09.120 you gotta know how to communicate you gotta know how to be vulnerable you gotta know how to do 1505 01:28:09.120 --> 01:28:15.280 these things you guys and so maturity is a must and that's what we're doing here so what the man 1506 01:28:15.280 --> 01:28:21.600 isn't there spiritually so that's a good question so I'm gonna answer our last two minutes if a man 1507 01:28:21.600 --> 01:28:28.240 isn't there spiritually there are scale there are also there let's say for lack of better there are 1508 01:28:28.240 --> 01:28:33.760 scales of maturity of spiritual maturity so you can't compare and say this person has to be like 1509 01:28:33.760 --> 01:28:40.160 me but do you know if this man is committed to being righteous see that's a whole nother that's 1510 01:28:40.160 --> 01:28:45.520 a that's a foundational thing that this person is committed to righteousness and so because it 1511 01:28:45.520 --> 01:28:52.480 doesn't take long for God to um mature a person is he teachable and men will shoot out they'll 1512 01:28:52.480 --> 01:28:59.040 grow faster than a woman because he has to lead his home right and so there's some things I do 1513 01:28:59.040 --> 01:29:02.480 want you to consider when we're talking about what if he isn't there spiritually if he's not 1514 01:29:02.480 --> 01:29:08.560 foundational and rooted grounded in Christ he's not the man for you you need a priest in the home 1515 01:29:08.560 --> 01:29:13.520 and he's not going to be the priest of your home and if he can't lead and he's not led by God and 1516 01:29:13.520 --> 01:29:20.880 he can't lead you you're going to take over and when you take over once you take over it's all 1517 01:29:20.880 --> 01:29:30.240 going down here right and so when we say levels of spirituality is he committed to righteousness 1518 01:29:30.240 --> 01:29:37.040 do you see the fruit of righteousness in his life is he teachable if you know that you're a 1519 01:29:37.040 --> 01:29:41.200 woman in ministry and you want to get this man don't believe in women ministering or this man 1520 01:29:41.200 --> 01:29:45.440 don't believe like well you know that ain't gonna work even if he's righteous like that's gonna go 1521 01:29:45.440 --> 01:29:52.000 against the design on your life does that make sense and so um like I said but if he you know 1522 01:29:52.000 --> 01:29:56.960 just stepping in the door he's you know depends on where you are spiritually too you know what 1523 01:29:56.960 --> 01:29:59.840 I'm saying you there there's a lot of growth that can happen 1524 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.160 but if a person is not committed to the Lord that he's not the one for you and 1525 01:30:05.160 --> 01:30:09.800 it's gonna be a struggle if you're trying to be you you are gonna be his 1526 01:30:09.800 --> 01:30:15.760 pastor his wife with when you want to be because you can't be both and if he's 1527 01:30:15.760 --> 01:30:19.960 not submitted to a pastor before you came along he probably interested in 1528 01:30:19.960 --> 01:30:25.040 it that well I believe in God you know but I don't really go to church oh yeah 1529 01:30:25.040 --> 01:30:30.200 so what do you do then let me tell you something if if you don't have people 1530 01:30:30.200 --> 01:30:35.240 around you that are speaking God's truth encouraging you somebody is discipling 1531 01:30:35.240 --> 01:30:40.600 you who is it is it the TV is a social media is it the world's culture 1532 01:30:40.600 --> 01:30:45.120 somebody's discipling you who is it if you're not reading your Bible you ain't 1533 01:30:45.120 --> 01:30:49.240 worshiping you ain't going to church you ain't got no godly friends and who is 1534 01:30:49.240 --> 01:30:55.760 discipling you because at all times we were being discipled by something that's 1535 01:30:55.760 --> 01:31:01.120 just the way we're set up as people something is ministering to you something 1536 01:31:01.120 --> 01:31:05.320 is feeding you something keeps you fool that you're not hungry for the Lord 1537 01:31:05.320 --> 01:31:10.240 what's keeping you fool right and so if you're different denominations you just 1538 01:31:10.240 --> 01:31:14.440 have to determine how far are those denominations from each other so if 1539 01:31:14.440 --> 01:31:18.400 somebody's a seven-day Adventist and you charismatic you've already know 1540 01:31:18.400 --> 01:31:21.040 unless they trying to come up out of seven-day Adventist you probably ain't 1541 01:31:21.040 --> 01:31:26.560 gonna make it Mormons don't believe in Jesus so that ain't gonna work but they 1542 01:31:26.560 --> 01:31:31.120 say they do but then you that ain't gonna work now what other denomination 1543 01:31:31.120 --> 01:31:36.160 may you may have a hard time with you may have if somebody's Catholic and they 1544 01:31:36.160 --> 01:31:41.240 want you to convert over that may not work well for you all right if you're 1545 01:31:41.240 --> 01:31:46.080 not planning on converting over Baptist and Pentecost it'll be just fine it 1546 01:31:46.200 --> 01:31:51.320 depends on the heart of that person if they're hungry for the Lord I don't 1547 01:31:51.320 --> 01:31:59.200 think denominations aren't that big of a deal in a sense that when you're 1548 01:31:59.200 --> 01:32:02.880 talking about a person if they're operating in the fruits of the Spirit if 1549 01:32:02.880 --> 01:32:07.880 they're committed to righteousness now you may have a little complications 1550 01:32:07.880 --> 01:32:11.240 because you may want to go to a church is a little more charismatic and they 1551 01:32:11.240 --> 01:32:14.720 want to go to the church just saying them good old hymns then y'all gonna 1552 01:32:14.720 --> 01:32:19.040 have to say look because your husband can be righteous in a priest of his home 1553 01:32:19.040 --> 01:32:23.760 without going to your charismatic church he don't have to speak in tongues to be 1554 01:32:23.760 --> 01:32:31.480 righteous that's a gift okay so we want to be mindful about the a person can 1555 01:32:31.480 --> 01:32:35.520 speak in tongues and prophesy and not treat you right a man can speak in 1556 01:32:35.520 --> 01:32:39.080 tongues and prophesy and lay hands on a stick and they be healed and be cheating 1557 01:32:39.080 --> 01:32:43.880 on you and be beating you and mistreating you not know how to 1558 01:32:43.880 --> 01:32:50.640 communicate like these are real things that happen every single day they got 1559 01:32:50.640 --> 01:32:55.640 all kind of women I've been in leadership a long time and I've seen it 1560 01:32:55.640 --> 01:33:01.240 all but could be molesting their children and when they preach you feel 1561 01:33:01.240 --> 01:33:05.720 the Spirit and so we want to be fruit inspectors this is not to make you 1562 01:33:05.720 --> 01:33:09.040 afraid but I'm saying we want to we want to base things on the fruit that 1563 01:33:09.040 --> 01:33:15.320 people produce and not so much their denomination so yeah and Baptist not 1564 01:33:15.320 --> 01:33:20.720 always they get really rooted in the word and so yeah sometimes Baptist and 1565 01:33:20.720 --> 01:33:27.080 Pentecostal like you know all those things I think that um it just depends 1566 01:33:27.080 --> 01:33:33.360 on the person you know it really does I've dated people who are not like me in 1567 01:33:33.400 --> 01:33:40.960 some ways of spirituality um but there was solid people I have friends that are 1568 01:33:40.960 --> 01:33:46.120 solid people that aren't like me right but I can agree they can agree with me 1569 01:33:46.120 --> 01:33:49.960 in prayer and we can pray together they don't go to the same church I do but 1570 01:33:49.960 --> 01:33:55.080 they call me up like we got to pray for so-and-so you know and so I want you to 1571 01:33:55.080 --> 01:34:02.720 process it process that that way we want to be fruit inspectors who's super 1572 01:34:02.720 --> 01:34:10.480 sweet and you like to continue talking to him Amy he's a Baptist in your 1573 01:34:10.480 --> 01:34:18.520 Pentecostal the guy that you're dating he's super sweet is what you're saying 1574 01:34:18.520 --> 01:34:27.400 you can talk to a Baptist Amy go ahead it's okay I was talking to this Baptist 1575 01:34:27.400 --> 01:34:30.800 pastor one time but it wasn't gonna work out I told him you know in Mississippi 1576 01:34:30.800 --> 01:34:35.040 where I'm from at the black I mean it is black though it's a black Baptist 1577 01:34:35.040 --> 01:34:39.800 Church they expect the woman to be like the first first lady and all she does 1578 01:34:39.800 --> 01:34:43.520 sit there with a big pretty half a hat I told him I said baby I was born and 1579 01:34:43.520 --> 01:34:49.920 shaped in ministry I ain't gonna work out at that Baptist Church I'm too loud 1580 01:34:54.920 --> 01:34:59.440 I'm not your showgirl like I'm gonna lay some hands folk won't get healed around 1581 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:09.360 ain't gonna work out me too bad in it me too i'm too old they gonna put me out 1582 01:35:12.320 --> 01:35:18.320 so ladies you guys have been amazing once again i don't want you guys to forget about our active 1583 01:35:18.320 --> 01:35:22.800 activation that we did at the beginning i want you to post about how it's going the plan that 1584 01:35:22.800 --> 01:35:27.520 you have for the next 10 days even if you do 50 days you know the 50 days are up there 40 days 1585 01:35:27.520 --> 01:35:32.080 so the next 10 days at least um let us know how your intimacy is going with the lord you're so 1586 01:35:32.080 --> 01:35:38.160 welcome um let's how let us know how it's going what aha moments are you having what's something 1587 01:35:38.160 --> 01:35:42.960 that the lord told you that morning he wanted you to do that you didn't expect some some surprise he 1588 01:35:42.960 --> 01:35:48.880 had waiting for you that you truly did enjoy um so in the meantime don't talk to any diaper boys 1589 01:35:48.880 --> 01:35:55.520 please do dodge them and i want you ladies to have a good night and i'll see you soon okay 1590 01:35:56.480 --> 01:36:03.760 good night all right thank you you're welcome thank you good night thank you love you guys 1591 01:36:03.760 --> 01:36:14.880 ebony thank you thank you you're welcome oh my god you guys are too funny