WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:17.440 Hey there. How's it going? Hi, can you hear me? Are you at a conference? No, I am, oh 2 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:23.160 my word, good night. No, I am in, um, gotta figure out how to set this thing up, uh, I'm 3 00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:31.520 in a coffee shop. Yeah, I just like, I have been in other places and for so long that, 4 00:00:31.520 --> 00:00:35.600 um, for so much that I was just kind of like tired of them. I was like, I need a change 5 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:39.560 of atmosphere. So I was like, I need to go to this little quiet coffee shop that I know. 6 00:00:39.560 --> 00:00:43.720 And, um, so anyway, but if the music is too loud, let me know because there's a gorgeous 7 00:00:43.720 --> 00:00:52.760 pond. I could just sit out on the bench. Okay, cool. We'll let you know. So congratulations. 8 00:00:52.760 --> 00:00:59.000 Thank you. Very excited. Yeah, we are really, really excited. Oh my gosh, that's so cool. 9 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:04.200 Yeah. So we've actually known each other for a year and a half. Uh, we met a month after 10 00:01:04.200 --> 00:01:09.400 I started traveling. Um, uh, so I started traveling in August of 2020 and we met in 11 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:15.400 September of 2020 and, but we didn't see each other in that way. We were not interested 12 00:01:15.400 --> 00:01:21.680 in each other and, um, we were just really good friends. And then in October of last 13 00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:26.800 year, everything changed. So we just saw each other very differently and, um, started 14 00:01:26.800 --> 00:01:32.320 dating. And then I moved to the area where he, he's part of a ministry here called Morning 15 00:01:32.320 --> 00:01:38.440 Star Ministries. It's started by Rick Joyner in Fort Mill and South Carolina. Okay. And 16 00:01:38.440 --> 00:01:45.800 yeah, is the background noise just very loud? It's a bit loud, but yeah, that's what I thought. 17 00:01:45.800 --> 00:01:53.080 Let me, let me, cause it'll just be a lot easier. Cause I didn't think about that with 18 00:01:53.080 --> 00:02:00.440 the, um, with these Bluetooth things, they're great, but they also let you hear everything 19 00:02:00.440 --> 00:02:06.520 else much louder than it is for myself. Oh, I got my coffee to go anyway. So it'll be 20 00:02:06.520 --> 00:02:12.200 perfect. And it gives me an excuse to be outside. Cause it's gorgeous. 21 00:02:12.920 --> 00:02:16.280 So you're in South Carolina now, is that where you're? Yes. 22 00:02:20.360 --> 00:02:26.440 Yes. Yeah, we will. And, um, anyway, I, I've been here since. Thank you. 23 00:02:43.160 --> 00:02:44.440 Okay. 24 00:02:56.120 --> 00:03:00.280 And they were so, they're just people that are just put into his life and, and everything. 25 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:05.560 And I just said, Hey, you are welcome to stay with us as long as you want. Um, and I've got 26 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:12.040 myself on a list to stay at this other, like on a waiting list to move into some, um, some 27 00:03:12.040 --> 00:03:18.040 other apartments and ended up that hasn't ever come up. And in the meantime, we've gotten engaged. 28 00:03:18.040 --> 00:03:23.480 And so I'm just going to continue to stay with them until I move into this apartment. 29 00:03:26.280 --> 00:03:27.560 Oh, that's so awesome. 30 00:03:28.040 --> 00:03:33.080 But yeah, and we're here as well, you know, North Carolina, technically I'm a, yeah, technically 31 00:03:33.080 --> 00:03:37.080 I'm right. South of Charlotte, which, you know, Charlotte's in North Carolina, but we're 32 00:03:42.600 --> 00:03:51.080 Carolina side. So anyway, just on the South Carolina side, just on the South Carolina. Yeah. 33 00:03:52.040 --> 00:03:56.920 Just on the South Carolina. Yeah. So we shop in both North and South Carolina. We, 34 00:03:56.920 --> 00:04:02.360 it's where it's like, we're finding different places. We like, I don't know, go about, 35 00:04:02.360 --> 00:04:05.240 go over the border and back across the border and over the board and back. 36 00:04:06.920 --> 00:04:10.840 So yeah, we're just right here on the edge. So we have, and there's math mandates 37 00:04:11.720 --> 00:04:16.760 in North Carolina, so, and not in South Carolina. So we always have to think, okay, 38 00:04:17.320 --> 00:04:20.680 okay, did we cross the border to get to this store? Cause five minutes ago, 39 00:04:20.680 --> 00:04:24.440 the other store, we were in South Carolina and we don't have to do a mask. 40 00:04:24.440 --> 00:04:29.320 Do we have to do a mask at this one? I remember, are we in North Carolina? It's really odd. 41 00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:38.520 So, but what about you on all of the craziness that's going on in, in Canada? Are you, are you, 42 00:04:39.400 --> 00:04:43.480 I got the impression that you said that you left teaching, right? 43 00:04:43.880 --> 00:04:49.080 Well, yes. And not like quit, quit yet, but yeah, basically I've left teaching 44 00:04:49.080 --> 00:04:55.160 cause they suspended me slash I took a leave of absence that, uh, in, in September. I think 45 00:04:55.160 --> 00:04:58.920 the last time we talked probably. Oh, that's a long time. 46 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.280 Wow so they called me back in March because they're like okay we're not 47 00:05:05.280 --> 00:05:10.960 really worried about this anymore we're just gonna have we're just gonna have 48 00:05:10.960 --> 00:05:17.200 everybody back and I'm like thanks for the invite but I'm not super interested 49 00:05:18.640 --> 00:05:22.680 all right I'm gonna just have to sit over here because the lawnmowers are 50 00:05:22.680 --> 00:05:26.840 over there go ahead right yeah I was just not interested after all the 51 00:05:26.840 --> 00:05:31.920 rigmarole and all the rules and just the way they treated our Union did not 52 00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:38.720 support us at all it was like totally just crazy how some of us who were 53 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:44.080 choosing out were treated and and then I started working on my ministry more and 54 00:05:44.080 --> 00:05:49.800 I thought this is where God has me so I'm still not vaccinated either as my 55 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:54.960 husband and we don't we're not gonna be vaccinated unless we absolutely have to 56 00:05:54.960 --> 00:05:58.440 for some reason but we're at the moment we're pretty good with just the way 57 00:05:58.440 --> 00:06:04.160 things are and we I way I look at it is I don't know I look at it may be 58 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:10.880 different than a lot of people but in the spiritual sense I don't you know 59 00:06:10.880 --> 00:06:15.640 what's going on in the world spiritually for me doesn't line up which is pretty 60 00:06:15.640 --> 00:06:19.840 common I think a lot of what goes on in the world doesn't line up spiritually 61 00:06:19.960 --> 00:06:26.240 it's true so it's it's good like I I feel good I feel good about my decision 62 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:30.600 I not once have I wanted to get the vaccine or thought it was a good idea 63 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:35.560 I've seen so many vaccine injuries I've seen how it didn't work over Christmas 64 00:06:35.560 --> 00:06:39.760 everybody got Omicron so the whole idea around the vaccine is just like kaput 65 00:06:39.760 --> 00:06:48.680 yeah they're still pushing it so yeah I'm gonna have to get the vaccine soon 66 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:55.520 because we're gonna be traveling and in fact we were we have an invitation to go 67 00:06:55.520 --> 00:07:02.320 to Canada Quebec actually to visit some friends and then we are going overseas 68 00:07:02.320 --> 00:07:09.440 for our honeymoon and we might at some point in the future it may be near maybe 69 00:07:09.440 --> 00:07:13.240 far we don't know we're still working on that I'm not be moving overseas for you 70 00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:20.160 know significant amount of time for ministry so anyway it requires vaccine 71 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:28.080 so here we go so exactly right like if you have to you have to right so where 72 00:07:28.080 --> 00:07:33.240 might you move overseas we're looking at New Zealand so he has a ministry 73 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:38.680 opportunity there that he's been invited to for I don't know for at least a year 74 00:07:38.680 --> 00:07:44.400 and a half if not two and anyway we're just trying to seek the Lord to see it 75 00:07:44.400 --> 00:07:47.040 because our friends are already over there trying to establish a ministry 76 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:52.760 school and so they've invited us to go and help them establish it you know just 77 00:07:52.760 --> 00:07:56.800 establish it with them and we're trying to figure out well what does the Lord 78 00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:00.640 want us to do what part does he want us to play should we do that should not do 79 00:08:00.640 --> 00:08:04.440 that you know what's the time and if he does but the timing on it you know what 80 00:08:04.440 --> 00:08:08.640 should it look like so we're still thinking of all of that but regardless 81 00:08:08.640 --> 00:08:13.440 we're going to be traveling but we just don't know if we're going to be where and 82 00:08:13.440 --> 00:08:17.200 we believe that we're going to be traveling you know extensively we just 83 00:08:17.200 --> 00:08:23.400 don't know we're gonna have any extended amount of time like almost like a like a 84 00:08:23.400 --> 00:08:30.840 move overseas that still we're still asking Lord about that yeah we're moving 85 00:08:30.840 --> 00:08:39.760 to a really where Texas are you serious that's wild I'm so excited for you 86 00:08:39.760 --> 00:08:45.920 you've always wanted to move to the States how did that come about Oh crazy 87 00:08:45.920 --> 00:08:50.640 well cuz I we've wanted to we've talked about it and we talked about different 88 00:08:50.640 --> 00:08:54.040 ways to do it and I kept feeling from the Lord if we were supposed to move 89 00:08:54.040 --> 00:08:57.760 there it was gonna be easy it wouldn't be like a rigmarole it would just be 90 00:08:57.760 --> 00:09:01.960 easy and and there wasn't anything difficult but there wasn't anything easy 91 00:09:01.960 --> 00:09:05.160 nothing was really happening and we're like what is supposed to be going on 92 00:09:05.160 --> 00:09:10.480 here so I found out about something called an e2 visa which basically I can 93 00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:16.920 bring my company over to the US and be planted there so we've already started 94 00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:20.520 the application process we already have a lawyer we already have everything so 95 00:09:20.520 --> 00:09:25.920 we should be over there moved over there probably in about 10 months that takes a 96 00:09:25.920 --> 00:09:32.480 bit of time well I'm excited for y'all we're in Texas do you know yeah we're 97 00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:36.080 looking at because we want to go to Gateway Church do you know Robert Morris 98 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:48.080 Gateway yeah yeah people a lot of the people from my church established 99 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:52.480 Gateway they were part of the leadership establishment of it they were like for 100 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:57.440 instance you know Carrie Jo she's from my original church so the church is now 101 00:09:57.440 --> 00:10:02.040 closed but yeah they they he her 102 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.560 for dad, Mark Job, who's leader at Gateway. 103 00:10:02.560 --> 00:10:05.560 He was the youth pastor of the church that I went to. 104 00:10:05.560 --> 00:10:08.960 And then, and that was like a big time church 105 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:10.280 back in the day. 106 00:10:10.280 --> 00:10:12.720 I mean, like people came from all over to go to that church 107 00:10:12.720 --> 00:10:15.520 but over time, the Lord's just kind of closed to that church 108 00:10:15.520 --> 00:10:18.040 but then in the meantime, Gateway started. 109 00:10:18.040 --> 00:10:20.080 And so, yeah, it's like, it's huge. 110 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:21.300 It's got all of these campuses. 111 00:10:21.300 --> 00:10:23.960 So when my church closed, you know, a few, 112 00:10:23.960 --> 00:10:26.240 about a decade or a decade and a half 113 00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:29.520 after Gateway started, 114 00:10:29.520 --> 00:10:31.080 probably about a decade after Gateway started, 115 00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:33.360 a lot of the people ended up moving 116 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:35.560 to transferring over to Gateway. 117 00:10:35.560 --> 00:10:38.640 Yeah, it's a real, it's huge in Dallas. 118 00:10:38.640 --> 00:10:41.920 Wow, so do you know Carrie Job then? 119 00:10:41.920 --> 00:10:43.280 No, no, I've never met her. 120 00:10:43.280 --> 00:10:45.160 I've seen her, I've never met her 121 00:10:45.160 --> 00:10:48.120 but friends of mine were at the church. 122 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:51.240 So they left before I ever got to the church 123 00:10:51.240 --> 00:10:52.640 but friends of mine at the church, 124 00:10:52.680 --> 00:10:57.480 they grew up with Carrie Job in the youth group or whatever. 125 00:10:57.480 --> 00:11:00.240 So they know her, but I don't know her. 126 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:01.200 Oh, that's cool. 127 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:02.280 Yeah, that's neat. 128 00:11:02.280 --> 00:11:05.920 Yeah, Jason, my husband, he loves Robert Morris. 129 00:11:05.920 --> 00:11:07.520 And so when we went to Texas- 130 00:11:07.520 --> 00:11:09.080 Very solid teaching. 131 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:09.920 Yeah, he is. 132 00:11:09.920 --> 00:11:10.800 And we went to Texas, 133 00:11:10.800 --> 00:11:12.280 we went to the Heaven Come Conference 134 00:11:12.280 --> 00:11:14.960 and then we went to Gateway on the Sunday morning 135 00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:16.640 and we also went to Eagle Mountain 136 00:11:16.640 --> 00:11:18.400 because we were in Arlington. 137 00:11:18.400 --> 00:11:19.240 So we went to those- 138 00:11:19.240 --> 00:11:20.920 Yes, that's where my parents live. 139 00:11:20.920 --> 00:11:21.760 Oh, cool. 140 00:11:21.760 --> 00:11:25.200 Yeah, like, well, and I loved Gateway 141 00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:26.040 and we've talked about it 142 00:11:26.040 --> 00:11:27.080 and we've been watching it online 143 00:11:27.080 --> 00:11:28.160 because we left our church, right? 144 00:11:28.160 --> 00:11:29.200 I told you that. 145 00:11:29.200 --> 00:11:30.040 Yeah. 146 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:36.000 Oh, maybe so, or maybe y'all were talking about it. 147 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:36.840 Y'all were talking about it 148 00:11:36.840 --> 00:11:39.200 and you were going to talk to them 149 00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:40.320 and you were going to talk to them 150 00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:41.280 and you're like, oh my word, 151 00:11:41.280 --> 00:11:42.880 I'm really concerned about this conversation 152 00:11:42.880 --> 00:11:45.040 because we wanna keep relationships. 153 00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:46.680 Yes, yeah. 154 00:11:46.680 --> 00:11:48.920 Well, and we did, we talked to them 155 00:11:48.920 --> 00:11:51.280 and we've had the conversation. 156 00:11:51.800 --> 00:11:55.520 It went well, as well as it could, right? 157 00:11:55.520 --> 00:11:57.320 I don't think they fully understand why 158 00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:00.320 we didn't really give them all the reasons why, 159 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:03.200 but we have partnered with some of our friends 160 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:04.160 who have ministries. 161 00:12:04.160 --> 00:12:05.000 We've been doing that. 162 00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:08.960 We've been watching Gateway on TV on Sunday mornings. 163 00:12:08.960 --> 00:12:10.720 So we've been talking about it for a while 164 00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:13.000 and then finally I found this way 165 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:14.120 and I talked to the lawyer 166 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.520 and the company that's gonna be bringing us over. 167 00:12:16.520 --> 00:12:20.960 And I was like, this actually seems like the easy way 168 00:12:21.640 --> 00:12:23.040 that I thought God was gonna open the door for. 169 00:12:23.040 --> 00:12:24.520 Like, just could be easy. 170 00:12:24.520 --> 00:12:27.720 And so it's, I mean, there's a lot of stuff 171 00:12:27.720 --> 00:12:31.320 that goes into it, but ultimately it feels, 172 00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:32.760 it felt so easy. 173 00:12:32.760 --> 00:12:34.000 This is so cool. 174 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:37.040 It felt so easy that I almost, I was like, 175 00:12:37.040 --> 00:12:37.880 this is too easy. 176 00:12:37.880 --> 00:12:38.920 What's the catch? 177 00:12:38.920 --> 00:12:39.920 But yeah, and then I thought, 178 00:12:39.920 --> 00:12:41.960 well, this is what I prayed for, like, hello. 179 00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:45.800 And so then, this is so interesting. 180 00:12:45.800 --> 00:12:47.720 So my friend, Vanessa Chavez, 181 00:12:47.720 --> 00:12:51.440 she actually, Robert Morris came out of her church. 182 00:12:51.440 --> 00:12:54.680 So she is part of the Trinity. 183 00:12:54.680 --> 00:12:57.480 It's like Trinity something church in, 184 00:12:58.360 --> 00:12:59.200 forget where she is. 185 00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:00.040 I don't know if she's in Amarillo. 186 00:13:00.040 --> 00:13:01.480 She's in like North, North. 187 00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:03.040 Lubbock. 188 00:13:03.040 --> 00:13:03.880 I don't know. 189 00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:05.560 I don't remember where it is, but she. 190 00:13:05.560 --> 00:13:06.400 I don't know. 191 00:13:06.400 --> 00:13:07.240 There's a lot of Trinity. 192 00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:09.120 There's a Trinity church I used to attend in Lubbock, Texas. 193 00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:11.360 It's South of Amarillo about a couple hours. 194 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:13.440 That's why I was wondering, but anyway, go ahead. 195 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:16.320 It's about five hour drive from Dallas. 196 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:17.440 So, but in the. 197 00:13:18.160 --> 00:13:20.240 Yeah, that's where Lubbock would be, 198 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:22.000 but it could be any Trinity church. 199 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:23.880 Trinity is a very common name, you know. 200 00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:25.240 Everybody likes the name Trinity. 201 00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:26.440 I can see that, yeah. 202 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:28.440 Who knows? 203 00:13:28.440 --> 00:13:31.160 Well, she spoke at my masterclass series 204 00:13:31.160 --> 00:13:33.520 and we've been friends for a while and she's super sweet. 205 00:13:33.520 --> 00:13:34.920 She's very prophetic. 206 00:13:34.920 --> 00:13:37.800 She like works with government officials 207 00:13:37.800 --> 00:13:38.640 with prophetic stuff. 208 00:13:38.640 --> 00:13:39.760 Like, she's really interesting. 209 00:13:39.760 --> 00:13:42.360 And her church, Robert Morris and a bunch of the people 210 00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:45.080 came out of her church to start Gateway. 211 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:46.520 I was talking to her the other day 212 00:13:46.520 --> 00:13:48.560 because I was gonna help her out with something. 213 00:13:48.560 --> 00:13:50.840 She spoke at one of my retreats. 214 00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:53.680 And so she wanted me to speak to her youth group 215 00:13:53.680 --> 00:13:56.080 and do a little like thing with them on identity. 216 00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:57.360 So I did. 217 00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:00.040 But as I'm sitting there on the Zoom call 218 00:14:00.040 --> 00:14:03.800 with this youth group in Texas, teaching them, 219 00:14:03.800 --> 00:14:06.080 I'm going, that's so interesting 220 00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:09.360 because three hours ago I was sitting here going, 221 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:10.920 okay, God, I'm putting the money down 222 00:14:10.920 --> 00:14:12.920 for the lawyer in this company to move to Texas. 223 00:14:12.920 --> 00:14:13.920 Is this what you want? 224 00:14:13.920 --> 00:14:15.560 Like, I'm believing it is. 225 00:14:15.560 --> 00:14:17.440 And so I put it all down and then three hours later 226 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.520 I'm literally like teaching in Texas. 227 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:22.280 That's wild. 228 00:14:22.280 --> 00:14:23.720 That is wild. 229 00:14:23.720 --> 00:14:25.560 So cool. 230 00:14:25.560 --> 00:14:26.680 So cool. 231 00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:28.640 I was sitting there going, this is so surreal. 232 00:14:28.640 --> 00:14:30.920 I felt like I was having like an out-of-body experience. 233 00:14:30.920 --> 00:14:35.360 I just felt just so good about that. 234 00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:36.520 It just like, it came together 235 00:14:36.520 --> 00:14:38.360 in this really interesting way for me 236 00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:42.280 that I believe I'm going for a reason. 237 00:14:42.280 --> 00:14:44.520 I believe that we're taking our daughter there for a reason. 238 00:14:44.520 --> 00:14:46.160 I feel like it's a new beginning. 239 00:14:47.560 --> 00:14:50.320 I'm afraid in some ways 240 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:54.560 because it all rests on my business doing well. 241 00:14:54.560 --> 00:14:56.800 So in five years. 242 00:14:56.800 --> 00:14:59.720 Yeah, so basically I can live there for five years 243 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.760 this E2 visa, but in five years, they look at my business again to say, 244 00:15:04.320 --> 00:15:08.800 how's it doing? Are you, are you successful? And if you're not successful, 245 00:15:08.800 --> 00:15:13.360 then they can make a different decision. Yeah. So I, 246 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:17.800 I'm trusting that God is going now, even if we're there for five years, 247 00:15:17.800 --> 00:15:21.160 it's still an adventure for five years. That would be fun. Um, 248 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:25.000 but I'm trusting cause obviously like, I think one of my, 249 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:27.440 the deepest things for me is this, 250 00:15:27.560 --> 00:15:31.000 this ministry because I love it so much and I'm so passionate about it, 251 00:15:31.480 --> 00:15:35.120 but I'm also scared because I think, Oh, it's like, 252 00:15:35.880 --> 00:15:37.800 is he ever going to take it away from me? And if he does, 253 00:15:37.800 --> 00:15:39.520 I know he's going to have something better, but, 254 00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:43.120 but I'm like, I'm still a fear around it. I have fear that he's going to. 255 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:48.840 Yeah, I know. No. Well, so what, 256 00:15:49.080 --> 00:15:53.080 what are you, um, how, how have you, um, 257 00:15:53.480 --> 00:15:54.400 how would you say, 258 00:15:55.680 --> 00:15:59.120 have you felt like you've been able to release more of that to the Lord? 259 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:01.520 So you're still afraid, but you've been able to release more of it, 260 00:16:01.560 --> 00:16:06.120 or do you still feel like you're, you're in the same, same, 261 00:16:06.160 --> 00:16:08.480 um, uh, I don't know, 262 00:16:08.880 --> 00:16:13.880 same position towards it and the Lord that you were say the last time that we 263 00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:17.640 talked, cause I know that you've always talked about this, talked about, you know, 264 00:16:17.640 --> 00:16:21.160 I've been afraid that the Lord would take this way or the Lord would say no or, 265 00:16:21.160 --> 00:16:25.360 or whatever. So, um, what has your journey been like, you know, since then? 266 00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:27.840 Has it been this, we're just period, you know, 267 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:31.480 what has your journey been like specifically with this ministry and you and the 268 00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:34.120 Lord? What does that look like since the last time we've chatted? 269 00:16:35.040 --> 00:16:38.680 Well, it's going really well. Um, I, 270 00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:42.800 I realized like the stuff that comes up for me is like fear of loss, 271 00:16:42.800 --> 00:16:47.920 fear of something being taken away, fear of me, 272 00:16:47.920 --> 00:16:52.920 not being able to be in this space anymore and losing like my purpose. 273 00:16:53.640 --> 00:16:57.120 Um, I know God would give me a different one. So it's, 274 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:00.360 it's like the logic versus the feeling. Um, 275 00:17:00.880 --> 00:17:04.359 and I would say like I'm doing my intensive again this week, 276 00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:07.200 which I did this morning. I'm doing my five day experiencing God's love. 277 00:17:08.839 --> 00:17:13.200 And every time I do it, I could seriously probably cry every day. 278 00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:17.079 Cause I'm so, I don't even know what's going on with me, but it's, 279 00:17:17.079 --> 00:17:21.119 it's like, uh, I'm giving so much and I love it and I feel so good about it. 280 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:25.760 And at the same time, I'm always afraid that people aren't going to come in, 281 00:17:25.760 --> 00:17:27.920 but then they always do. Um, 282 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:30.960 or I'm afraid somebody is going to say something bad about me, 283 00:17:31.320 --> 00:17:33.440 but normally they don't like I do get, you know, 284 00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:37.080 once in a while comments on Facebook and my ads will say silly things, 285 00:17:37.080 --> 00:17:40.480 whatever, but that's people. Um, yeah, 286 00:17:40.760 --> 00:17:44.600 but I get great feedback and everything. So I think for me, 287 00:17:44.600 --> 00:17:48.320 it's like getting to the root of that fear that I, 288 00:17:48.360 --> 00:17:51.440 cause I've been practicing rest much more. I'm, 289 00:17:51.840 --> 00:17:56.200 I can be in rest much more. And even when I noticed these things coming up, 290 00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:58.920 I can be like, okay, I can shift into rest really quickly. 291 00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:01.960 But then if I let it go a little bit, 292 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:05.880 it can certainly rear its ugly head if I'm not like controlling it to a certain 293 00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:09.160 extent and going, okay, no God, I trust you. This is like, not, 294 00:18:09.760 --> 00:18:10.920 I don't need to think this way. 295 00:18:10.920 --> 00:18:13.480 Like I'm holding every thought captive and I'm believing and trusting, 296 00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:17.600 and I'm just going to choose you and choose your goodness and choose your plan 297 00:18:17.600 --> 00:18:21.200 and all that stuff. I can do that. But it's like, it's underlying, you know? 298 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:26.920 Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, there's a few different things. 299 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:29.880 One of them is the fact that, um, 300 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:35.160 that sometimes what we can do is we can start choosing 301 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:38.560 things like for the moment, which, 302 00:18:39.760 --> 00:18:43.200 you know, isn't all bad, but, uh, I mean, it was not all bad. 303 00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:46.760 It's not bad. The thing is, it sometimes isn't enough. 304 00:18:47.040 --> 00:18:50.280 So we can choose things for the moment. Like, okay, Lord, 305 00:18:50.280 --> 00:18:53.760 I'm going to choose that what you say really is true. Um, 306 00:18:54.320 --> 00:18:59.040 and I'm going to choose that, that, you know, 307 00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:01.440 what it is you say is true. What about yourself? 308 00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:04.680 What it is that you say about me really is true that it really is my reality, 309 00:19:05.760 --> 00:19:10.400 but what we have, what we have to do in order for it to, 310 00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:11.680 in order to grow in it, 311 00:19:11.760 --> 00:19:15.880 in order for it to sink deeper in order for us to actually shift our belief 312 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:18.360 where we eventually will, 313 00:19:18.360 --> 00:19:22.840 we mature and we're no longer. And we, how do we, 314 00:19:22.840 --> 00:19:27.360 how to put this where it's doing a deep work within us 315 00:19:27.560 --> 00:19:31.640 so that eventually we don't have to be 316 00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:35.080 telling ourselves this and reminding ourselves this, 317 00:19:35.320 --> 00:19:37.880 we automatically do it without trying, 318 00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:41.960 without stopping and trying and remembering and stopping and having to choose 319 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:44.040 because we, 320 00:19:44.320 --> 00:19:48.680 and the way to do that is that when we choose in a 321 00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:52.120 moment, when, in that, when we're in a particular moment and we choose, 322 00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:53.440 we're actually, 323 00:19:53.760 --> 00:19:58.160 we're needing to choose it for ourselves and our 324 00:19:58.160 --> 00:19:59.960 life. Not that moment. 325 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.820 So if we continue to choose it just for that moment, it can help, but then we're always 326 00:20:06.820 --> 00:20:11.100 every time a new moment comes, we're having to choose it all over again. 327 00:20:11.100 --> 00:20:19.100 And there's, there's an exhaustion in that because we're not ever actually dying to it 328 00:20:19.100 --> 00:20:21.300 completely. 329 00:20:21.300 --> 00:20:23.020 Like we're not dealing with the root issue. 330 00:20:23.020 --> 00:20:29.140 We're just kind of, there's a way in which we're just dealing with the symptom and and 331 00:20:29.140 --> 00:20:32.500 then we're going to continue to have to choose every time the moment comes up. 332 00:20:32.500 --> 00:20:38.620 But what we're wanting to do is we're wanting to continually choose, no Lord, I choose you 333 00:20:38.620 --> 00:20:41.860 over this thing. 334 00:20:41.860 --> 00:20:48.320 Like I'm choosing you as, as a, I'm putting my treasure where you are, not just for this 335 00:20:48.320 --> 00:20:54.900 moment, but I'm, I'm, I'm starting to let go of this world and I'm choosing you instead. 336 00:20:54.900 --> 00:20:59.420 And then the next moment comes, I'm letting go of more of this world and I'm choosing 337 00:20:59.420 --> 00:21:00.420 you. 338 00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:03.620 I'm letting go more of this world and I'm choosing you as opposed to, I'm just wanting 339 00:21:03.620 --> 00:21:07.220 to feel peace or I'm just wanting to let go in this moment. 340 00:21:07.220 --> 00:21:08.220 Does that make sense? 341 00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:09.220 Yeah. 342 00:21:09.220 --> 00:21:10.220 Yeah. 343 00:21:10.220 --> 00:21:11.220 No, it does. 344 00:21:11.220 --> 00:21:17.900 Cause I, I feel like I live at rest so much more than I did like before I met you and 345 00:21:17.900 --> 00:21:18.900 went through. 346 00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:19.900 I know you do. 347 00:21:19.900 --> 00:21:20.900 Yeah. 348 00:21:20.900 --> 00:21:24.820 I can tell a huge difference between now and the last time that I talked to you huge. 349 00:21:25.740 --> 00:21:26.740 You popped on the screen. 350 00:21:26.740 --> 00:21:27.740 I was like, Oh my word. 351 00:21:27.740 --> 00:21:28.740 I don't know what's been going on. 352 00:21:28.740 --> 00:21:29.740 It's all been really good. 353 00:21:29.740 --> 00:21:30.740 Yeah. 354 00:21:30.740 --> 00:21:31.740 I got my hair done. 355 00:21:31.740 --> 00:21:32.740 Is it that? 356 00:21:32.740 --> 00:21:33.740 No. 357 00:21:33.740 --> 00:21:34.740 Oh, good night. 358 00:21:34.740 --> 00:21:35.740 No, no. 359 00:21:35.740 --> 00:21:36.740 I mean, cause I'd be like, Oh, see, there she is. 360 00:21:36.740 --> 00:21:37.740 It's beautiful. 361 00:21:37.740 --> 00:21:38.740 As she always is. 362 00:21:38.740 --> 00:21:39.740 No, no. 363 00:21:39.740 --> 00:21:43.500 There's, there's something, you know, in you, you know, it's definitely, it's definitely 364 00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:44.500 different. 365 00:21:44.500 --> 00:21:46.300 You're more grounded in your identity. 366 00:21:46.300 --> 00:21:50.700 You're more, um, and, and take this as a compliment. 367 00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:52.300 You're more authentic. 368 00:21:52.300 --> 00:21:53.300 You're more yourself. 369 00:21:53.300 --> 00:21:54.460 You're less guarded. 370 00:21:55.100 --> 00:21:56.100 You're just more natural. 371 00:21:56.100 --> 00:22:00.020 And there's, um, there's some things that you were struggling with, meaning like, and 372 00:22:00.020 --> 00:22:03.140 I'm just sensing this, you know, in the spirit, cause it's not like we've talked about any 373 00:22:03.140 --> 00:22:04.140 of these things. 374 00:22:04.140 --> 00:22:07.020 There's the, cause I had sensed it in the spirit last time. 375 00:22:07.020 --> 00:22:11.580 And so I'm sensing it the same now, I mean, I'm sensing in that, into that area now. 376 00:22:11.580 --> 00:22:14.540 And there are things that there were hindrances that you'd had. 377 00:22:14.540 --> 00:22:19.740 There were, um, things that you were struggling with that you're no longer struggling with 378 00:22:19.740 --> 00:22:20.740 like that. 379 00:22:20.740 --> 00:22:24.980 So it's the, the difference honestly is huge. 380 00:22:24.980 --> 00:22:29.300 You are a lot, you're a lot healthier. 381 00:22:29.300 --> 00:22:31.980 There's less noise spiritually inside of you. 382 00:22:31.980 --> 00:22:32.980 There's less warring. 383 00:22:32.980 --> 00:22:33.980 Um, yeah. 384 00:22:33.980 --> 00:22:34.980 Anyway, so just, just encouragement. 385 00:22:34.980 --> 00:22:35.980 Yeah. 386 00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:36.980 That's great feedback. 387 00:22:36.980 --> 00:22:37.980 And I appreciate it. 388 00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:38.980 Cause I feel that too. 389 00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:46.980 I feel like generally speaking, I'm more at rest in every area of my life. 390 00:22:46.980 --> 00:22:54.540 And now it's like, it's almost like you're saying like the root, root issue of the fear 391 00:22:54.540 --> 00:22:58.980 and I noticed it showing up, like, cause I hired, I work with, so two of the coaches 392 00:22:58.980 --> 00:23:02.900 that I actually go to for coaching, I ended up hiring them to work in my program with 393 00:23:02.900 --> 00:23:06.020 me cause as, as it's been growing, that's great. 394 00:23:06.020 --> 00:23:11.420 Like I fear, you know, different things around that, like, you know, it's, and I've seen 395 00:23:11.420 --> 00:23:17.060 it show up in areas of things being taken away, even like, Oh, what if we go to Texas 396 00:23:17.060 --> 00:23:18.540 and then the business doesn't work. 397 00:23:18.540 --> 00:23:22.660 And after five years we need to come back or what if it's like all the what ifs where 398 00:23:22.660 --> 00:23:26.460 I could just switch my mindset and be like, well, what if it's awesome? 399 00:23:26.460 --> 00:23:27.460 What if it's super successful? 400 00:23:27.460 --> 00:23:32.380 And I can do that, but it's this deeper part of me. 401 00:23:32.380 --> 00:23:38.060 And I don't, as I look back at all the trauma in my life, I don't know where this idea that 402 00:23:38.060 --> 00:23:45.540 people are going to leave me comes from, except probably from a place of, I, I never 403 00:23:45.540 --> 00:23:49.540 felt like I had a handle on where people were going to be at with me cause I was so messed 404 00:23:49.540 --> 00:23:52.380 up that it would drive people away. 405 00:23:52.380 --> 00:23:57.060 And now I know I'm not messed up and I'm going to drive people away, but sometimes I'm afraid 406 00:23:57.060 --> 00:24:02.260 of people know that I messed up in any way that their opinion of me is going to change. 407 00:24:02.260 --> 00:24:06.660 Or if I'm not right with God in every single way, he's not going to bless me in certain 408 00:24:06.660 --> 00:24:09.580 ways or I don't even know, like I can't even explain it. 409 00:24:09.580 --> 00:24:10.580 Oh yeah. 410 00:24:10.580 --> 00:24:11.580 All of that. 411 00:24:11.580 --> 00:24:12.580 All of that theory. 412 00:24:12.580 --> 00:24:16.500 Um, uh, what are you going to say? 413 00:24:16.500 --> 00:24:20.460 I'm not devaluing what you're saying when I say this, but it's all very normal that 414 00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:24.700 that is, those are the root things because you're always very insightful to be able to 415 00:24:24.700 --> 00:24:26.940 get down to the root things that we all deal with. 416 00:24:26.940 --> 00:24:29.300 We all think, Oh, you know, this is my individual situation. 417 00:24:29.300 --> 00:24:30.980 This is my individual situation. 418 00:24:30.980 --> 00:24:32.100 Mine's unique. 419 00:24:32.100 --> 00:24:36.420 If you really get down deep, which is what you're talking about down here, these are 420 00:24:37.180 --> 00:24:38.180 the things that we all struggle with. 421 00:24:38.180 --> 00:24:43.180 It's like, I feel like if God, if I mess up or if I don't do everything perfectly, then 422 00:24:43.180 --> 00:24:45.020 God is going to withdraw. 423 00:24:45.020 --> 00:24:49.220 He is going to, I'm going to be abandoned emotionally. 424 00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:53.260 Sometimes we're like, Oh no, no, I know God's not going to like, you know, remove his presence 425 00:24:53.260 --> 00:24:54.260 from me. 426 00:24:54.260 --> 00:24:58.380 I know he's always going to be there or whatever, but emotionally we feel, we fear that emotionally 427 00:24:58.380 --> 00:24:59.380 he's going to abandon us. 428 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.260 that is if he's gonna change from interacting with us 429 00:25:03.260 --> 00:25:04.880 to suddenly being a wall. 430 00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:06.900 So he's still there, but now he's a wall. 431 00:25:06.900 --> 00:25:10.260 And we'll do whatever it is that we have to do 432 00:25:10.260 --> 00:25:13.980 like a child does where negative attention 433 00:25:13.980 --> 00:25:15.620 is even better than no attention. 434 00:25:16.980 --> 00:25:20.260 So yeah, all of those are very, very normal root fears. 435 00:25:20.260 --> 00:25:22.620 And that's what it is that we're having to remember 436 00:25:22.620 --> 00:25:23.460 that God says. 437 00:25:23.460 --> 00:25:27.420 God says that we are in him and we are one spirit with him 438 00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:31.060 so that we never have to fear 439 00:25:31.060 --> 00:25:34.000 that he's going to abandon us. 440 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:37.080 We never have to fear that he is going to remove 441 00:25:37.080 --> 00:25:39.180 communication with us 442 00:25:39.180 --> 00:25:42.200 because he communes with us in our spirit 443 00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:45.200 where we get to the point of feeling like he doesn't, 444 00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:46.480 he won't communicate with us 445 00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:47.960 or he's gonna withdraw the relationship. 446 00:25:47.960 --> 00:25:49.120 I'm sorry for the wind. 447 00:25:49.120 --> 00:25:49.960 Can you hear me? 448 00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:51.240 Okay. 449 00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:52.060 Okay. 450 00:25:52.060 --> 00:25:53.200 Sorry about that. 451 00:25:54.200 --> 00:25:58.740 It's when our soul, our flesh, our soul and our body 452 00:25:58.740 --> 00:26:01.940 is so afraid that of our spirit 453 00:26:01.940 --> 00:26:03.300 and of anything related to our spirit 454 00:26:03.300 --> 00:26:05.540 because we felt that it's unsafe 455 00:26:05.540 --> 00:26:08.560 that we are going to, I'm trying to stop the wind. 456 00:26:10.220 --> 00:26:15.220 Then we, anyway, that we've got all of this resistance 457 00:26:16.260 --> 00:26:19.900 and therefore we can't, 458 00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:24.200 it's almost like we're resisting God talking to us. 459 00:26:24.200 --> 00:26:26.920 We're not allowing what it is that we're hearing 460 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:29.260 in our communication with him in the spirit. 461 00:26:29.260 --> 00:26:31.840 We're not allowing that to penetrate our soul 462 00:26:31.840 --> 00:26:34.040 and our body because our soul and our body 463 00:26:34.040 --> 00:26:37.720 is trying to build a border 464 00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:40.160 and it's because we just don't feel safe 465 00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:42.080 because in order to be able to hear God, 466 00:26:42.080 --> 00:26:44.680 we have to be, in order to have that clarity 467 00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:47.240 and that communion, we have to allow our, 468 00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:49.720 our flesh has to allow itself to be vulnerable 469 00:26:50.540 --> 00:26:52.700 to our spirit, but he's always talking to our spirit. 470 00:26:52.700 --> 00:26:55.020 But so that's what the truth is. 471 00:26:55.020 --> 00:26:56.660 And we have, and our soul and our body, 472 00:26:56.660 --> 00:26:58.780 our flesh has to believe it. 473 00:26:58.780 --> 00:27:01.860 So that's part of the, that's part of the shifting address. 474 00:27:01.860 --> 00:27:03.460 It's part of the letting go. 475 00:27:03.460 --> 00:27:05.900 It's actually believing that that's true 476 00:27:05.900 --> 00:27:08.740 no matter what our flesh does, 477 00:27:08.740 --> 00:27:11.140 that our flesh can't do anything 478 00:27:11.140 --> 00:27:14.900 that will cause God to stop talking to us. 479 00:27:15.840 --> 00:27:20.440 It's simply our fear that he's stopped talking to us 480 00:27:20.440 --> 00:27:23.000 that suddenly doesn't allow us to hear him anymore. 481 00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.760 And we, and, and, and the legalism like Calvinist 482 00:27:26.760 --> 00:27:28.200 or whoever, I don't remember, you know, 483 00:27:28.200 --> 00:27:30.320 which denominations believe this, but I mean, 484 00:27:30.320 --> 00:27:33.800 I grew up being taught by my school that when you sin, 485 00:27:33.800 --> 00:27:35.860 God stops talking to you. 486 00:27:35.860 --> 00:27:40.100 And we get that impression because we stopped hearing God 487 00:27:40.100 --> 00:27:43.840 because in situations where we stopped believing him, 488 00:27:43.840 --> 00:27:45.820 we're the one who created the cutoff, 489 00:27:45.820 --> 00:27:48.140 but it doesn't mean he's not talking to us. 490 00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:51.180 It means we don't allow ourselves to hear it anymore. 491 00:27:51.180 --> 00:27:52.820 We're the one who puts up the barrier 492 00:27:52.820 --> 00:27:55.540 and all we have to do is take it down. 493 00:27:55.540 --> 00:27:58.100 So it's, so all of this stuff, you know, 494 00:27:58.100 --> 00:28:00.440 that you're talking about, you know, that's very, 495 00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:03.820 that's the root of what it is that we're having to, 496 00:28:03.820 --> 00:28:08.060 that we're having to face and that we're having to release 497 00:28:08.060 --> 00:28:09.780 and that we're having to choose 498 00:28:09.780 --> 00:28:11.460 what it is that God says is true. 499 00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:14.240 Because what it is you're talking about is the fear of death. 500 00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:15.840 I'm afraid God's going to take this away. 501 00:28:15.840 --> 00:28:17.120 I'm afraid of loss. 502 00:28:17.120 --> 00:28:19.120 I'm afraid of lack on the other side. 503 00:28:19.120 --> 00:28:22.440 What if, that's all fear of death. 504 00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:24.440 But what God wants us to remember, 505 00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:26.180 and this is extremely important, 506 00:28:26.180 --> 00:28:27.100 and I know you have to go, 507 00:28:27.100 --> 00:28:28.080 I don't know how long you have, 508 00:28:28.080 --> 00:28:30.760 so I'm trying to be conscientious of your time, 509 00:28:30.760 --> 00:28:35.760 is that we have to remember that what, that death, 510 00:28:36.580 --> 00:28:39.580 the reason that we're afraid of it is death meant lack. 511 00:28:39.580 --> 00:28:42.620 You have, and you cross a threshold where, 512 00:28:42.620 --> 00:28:44.140 and then on the other side of that threshold, 513 00:28:44.140 --> 00:28:45.900 you don't have anymore. 514 00:28:45.900 --> 00:28:49.300 Whether it be physical death or emotional death 515 00:28:49.300 --> 00:28:53.420 or mental death or, you know, dreams, whatever, 516 00:28:53.420 --> 00:28:55.340 you have, and then you don't have. 517 00:28:55.340 --> 00:28:57.780 And that, that's death is lack. 518 00:28:57.780 --> 00:29:01.740 And Jesus, when he died, he removed lack from death, 519 00:29:01.740 --> 00:29:03.580 which was the stigma of death. 520 00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:06.760 He removed lack from death, which was the sting of death. 521 00:29:06.760 --> 00:29:09.200 Says, you know, death, where's your sting? 522 00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:10.720 Because God removed it. 523 00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:12.040 Jesus Christ removed it. 524 00:29:12.040 --> 00:29:14.440 Therefore, the whole point of this is, 525 00:29:14.440 --> 00:29:16.360 therefore, when we pass death, 526 00:29:16.360 --> 00:29:18.920 in other words, we pass what we call death, 527 00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:22.600 this threshold of between where we submit something 528 00:29:22.600 --> 00:29:26.600 to the Lord, there in God, in Christ, 529 00:29:26.600 --> 00:29:28.800 there, because of his power, 530 00:29:28.800 --> 00:29:31.000 and that in him having conquered death, 531 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:33.100 in other words, him having conquered lack, 532 00:29:33.600 --> 00:29:36.320 there is, therefore, in Christ, no more lack. 533 00:29:36.320 --> 00:29:38.240 So when you let go, 534 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:41.480 you're never going to move into lack, ever. 535 00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:44.040 There's always something on the other side. 536 00:29:44.040 --> 00:29:46.360 Always, always, always, always, always, always, always. 537 00:29:46.360 --> 00:29:50.040 And in Christ, not only is there always something, 538 00:29:50.040 --> 00:29:53.240 something on the other side, it's always better. 539 00:29:53.240 --> 00:29:54.920 It's always spirit. 540 00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:58.080 Therefore, it's always eternal and can never die. 541 00:29:58.080 --> 00:29:59.760 So you're letting go of that, 542 00:29:59.760 --> 00:30:00.620 which... 543 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.320 can die in order to receive that which can't ever die again. So you will, when you truly die to 544 00:30:06.320 --> 00:30:12.720 something, in other words, submit it to the Lord, he actually gives you something else or meaning 545 00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:18.720 like he gives it to you in spirit. You're allowing the flesh part of it aspect to die and you receive 546 00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:24.320 that thing in spirit and that spirit and because it's spirit it will never die and you won't ever 547 00:30:24.320 --> 00:30:30.800 have to die in that area again because it literally can't because it's spirit and spirit 548 00:30:30.800 --> 00:30:38.000 can't ever die. So that's what's very important to realize about death is in a manner of speaking 549 00:30:39.120 --> 00:30:44.400 death there is no such thing as death anymore because death meant lack but we feel that there 550 00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:49.200 is so I still talk about death as if it kind of exists because I talk about okay well what we're 551 00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:53.680 afraid of is death what we're afraid of you know and it's important for us to die all that I'm 552 00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:59.840 talking about is it's important for us to do the thing that our flesh thinks is it's gonna where 553 00:30:59.840 --> 00:31:04.160 we're gonna drop we're gonna come to the end of having and then all of a sudden there's just 554 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:10.240 going to be nothing and that's and so that idea that we have that that thing exists I still call 555 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:16.880 that death but in reality there's no such thing anymore there's no such thing as lack think of 556 00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:24.160 death is kind of like between when the ocean and the air meet you're and you move from the ocean 557 00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:29.360 to the air you know like that red balloon you know floating up there's no third place between 558 00:31:29.360 --> 00:31:34.800 the ocean and the air you're just in the ocean and then you're in the air you're in unrest you 559 00:31:34.800 --> 00:31:40.160 know and then you're in rest there's no third place there's no death there's no whatever it's 560 00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:47.200 not like oh I have something then I'm in a state of death then God gives replaces it with spirit 561 00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:54.080 that that little middle section is what we're afraid of there is no such thing death is simply 562 00:31:54.080 --> 00:31:59.280 what we refer to as when you're transit when you're crossing a transition when you're partly 563 00:31:59.280 --> 00:32:06.240 in when you're going from ocean to air when you're going from unrest to rest but in reality there's 564 00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:11.920 no state of death in which you ever exist anymore as you know if you're in Christ so that's why he 565 00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:17.200 said there's there's no reason to fear death that there's because the fear of death comes 566 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:23.280 from the fear of lack and there's no such thing sorry for the airplane yes it's all your fault 567 00:32:23.840 --> 00:32:29.760 make it stop I'm just kidding I'm sorry it's I can't even hear it honestly um okay and the wind's 568 00:32:29.760 --> 00:32:39.440 fine but um yeah wow I love listening to you talk I'm just saying you're really sweet the wisdom 569 00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.560 that comes out is just so cool because it helps it's like I coach people and they they look at 570 00:32:44.560 --> 00:32:49.360 me and they're like oh the things you say and it's not I'm like yeah yeah yeah but when you say things 571 00:32:49.360 --> 00:32:54.560 to me I'm like oh my gosh like how does she articulate it like that so awesome God gives 572 00:32:55.120 --> 00:33:01.760 good words yeah we have you're really sweet I'm glad that they um but you know the Lord has you 573 00:33:01.760 --> 00:33:06.640 have to have made the choice to position your heart before him in such a way where you can 574 00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:10.960 receive it where you can hear it where it resonates with you between you and your father 575 00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:15.840 and so then it's like oh my word and she says it that makes sense and it's the work that you've 576 00:33:15.840 --> 00:33:22.240 chosen to do between your you and the Lord and you having positioned yourself you know this is not me 577 00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:27.200 like pushing you know rejecting your compliment I'm receiving it thank you very much I'm just 578 00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:34.480 I'm trying to compliment you and say this is this is something very significant that not everyone 579 00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:41.440 when they hear me responds like that not everyone hears what it is that I'm saying and but you have 580 00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:48.240 done the the very challenging work in your own heart in your own spirit between in your own 581 00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:54.080 flesh between you and the Lord to be able to um to be able to hear this where you receive it as 582 00:33:54.080 --> 00:33:59.840 oh my word that's the freedom of my father that's the love um because there's a difference between 583 00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:07.120 being motivated and inspired because something sounds good versus um versus actually feeling 584 00:34:07.120 --> 00:34:12.400 actually receiving something between you and the Lord you know as its actual truth but um 585 00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:17.760 but anyway we all have our particular areas this is why this is um I've gone through a lot in order 586 00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:23.760 to be able to um for the Lord to have taught me how to articulate these things where they help 587 00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:30.560 other people you know and you have your areas and we we um just all encourage one another and 588 00:34:30.560 --> 00:34:36.239 spiritually impart to other people what it is that we've um um you know what it is that the Lord has 589 00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:42.159 uniquely given us to speak into the earth so yeah well I love it and and I appreciate that and I 590 00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:47.040 think you know you repeated things numerous times to me before that it took me a while to get right 591 00:34:47.040 --> 00:34:50.960 like I was like yeah we just saw it again and then again and then another call and you're saying 592 00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:55.199 the same thing again and it was like I'm like this is way too profound like I just can't I 593 00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:59.840 can't grasp it right now I'm just too stuck in this trauma but now I yeah I mean you 594 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.440 said it and I think that makes so much sense. So really like when it comes down to the tangible, 595 00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:09.520 and I know I need to go in a minute, but when it comes down to the tangible, 596 00:35:12.160 --> 00:35:18.400 my fear of moving to Texas and having something not come my way, or having this ministry end, 597 00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:23.200 or doing an intensive and not having people come in, or bringing in coaches and having them choose 598 00:35:23.200 --> 00:35:29.440 out or something after a while, all of that, there is no death because all I'm doing is 599 00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:34.880 transferring into almost like, I know you talked about it unrest and rest, but it's almost like 600 00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:39.600 the same type of thing and I don't know if you would relate it the same way, but I'm not moving 601 00:35:39.600 --> 00:35:45.040 from the water into the air, like I'm not moving in from the water into something else of death 602 00:35:45.040 --> 00:35:50.480 and then going to move into the air. I'm moving right from the water to the air and on the other 603 00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:56.640 side it's almost like there's always something better. It's like the picture of God, you know 604 00:35:56.640 --> 00:36:00.320 Jesus, he has the teddy bear. The little girl's like, I don't want to give up my teddy bear. 605 00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:12.080 So I feel like even if my worst fear happens and this business, this intensive whatever, 606 00:36:12.080 --> 00:36:18.080 is not successful, there's no death because God is just preparing me for the more better, 607 00:36:18.080 --> 00:36:23.520 different that he has, that's more aligned, like even with the church thing, thinking, oh my gosh, 608 00:36:23.520 --> 00:36:27.200 we're going to leave our church and I felt like, you know when a tree is going to be 609 00:36:27.200 --> 00:36:30.560 replanted and they sever the roots six months before they replant the tree? 610 00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:37.440 No, I didn't know that. That's cool. Okay, yeah, so this is really interesting. So when a tree is 611 00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:43.040 going to be moved, they will go and sever the roots around it and let it sit there before they replant 612 00:36:43.040 --> 00:36:50.080 it for about six months and that's how I felt. I felt like my roots have been severed but I haven't 613 00:36:50.080 --> 00:36:54.640 been replanted. I'm still sitting in the same spot. I'm like, God, what are you replanting me? And so 614 00:36:55.600 --> 00:37:02.880 you know, in the replanting, you know, in going to Texas or going wherever, like he's going to, 615 00:37:03.840 --> 00:37:07.680 you know, even with the church thing, I thought, okay, I'm not being replanted but in going to 616 00:37:07.680 --> 00:37:13.200 Texas, it's almost like that's the more better difference he has. So I think I'm holding on so 617 00:37:13.200 --> 00:37:18.080 tightly to my church. One of the reasons we're moving is for the church we're going to. 618 00:37:18.080 --> 00:37:22.240 We want to live close to the church. We're already looking at areas we want to live in. We already 619 00:37:22.240 --> 00:37:25.920 want to get connected and involved because we already know that's where we're going and that's 620 00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:30.800 one of the main reasons we're moving there. And it's so interesting because I was so attached to 621 00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:36.640 my church and yet God's like, there's no death in you leaving your church because I'm just 622 00:37:36.640 --> 00:37:40.400 transitioning you to something that's in more alignment. Is this, am I summing it up in a way 623 00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:49.120 that is accurate? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, because it's, and also in when we move from something 624 00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:57.120 into another, in order for it to not be lack, we have to be actually trading something, 625 00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:06.400 trading, how do I word that, is actually letting it die by submitting it to the Lord. 626 00:38:07.040 --> 00:38:13.040 If it's just like, sometimes if it's stripped away from, how do I put that, oh, 627 00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:24.240 sometimes, I wish I knew how to, I don't fully, if it's just flesh, just going through something 628 00:38:24.240 --> 00:38:31.760 difficult and, but it actually isn't released to the Lord and submitted to him, well, then it can't 629 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:40.160 be replaced with spirit. It's just, and so that's why it can feel like life just gets hard. People 630 00:38:40.160 --> 00:38:44.880 who go through lots of hard stuff, it's just more death and it feels like more death and more death 631 00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:49.120 and then we don't feel like we're making any progress spiritually or that we're spiritually 632 00:38:49.120 --> 00:38:53.760 receiving eternal things. It's because we're actually not submitting it to the Lord. So we 633 00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:58.080 actually have to submit it to the Lord in order for it to be replaced with spirit. So there is a possibility 634 00:38:58.080 --> 00:39:03.360 of like still dying in the flesh where if it's, where if we're not submitting, if we're not, if 635 00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:08.880 we're not dying by submitting it to the Lord, it's just replaced with more flesh that still can die 636 00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:14.800 as opposed to being replaced with spirit that can't, but so it does have to be, anything that 637 00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:20.960 we do give up, we have to just truly be submitting it to the Lord in order for him to, yeah, in order 638 00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:25.520 for him to work on that. And I know you have to go, but yeah. Well, I'm writing this down because 639 00:39:25.520 --> 00:39:30.400 I have lots more questions about that. So I'm writing it down to talk to you about on Wednesday 640 00:39:30.400 --> 00:39:36.400 because I want to go into that more because that's, that's big, like actually how to submit 641 00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:43.360 it to the Lord and because that, that's awesome. So, okay, so let's, so you said that, I just want 642 00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:49.040 to put it in my calendar. Two o'clock on Wednesday. You said two, are you central times? No, you're 643 00:39:49.040 --> 00:39:54.560 eastern now, right? I'm eastern nine, yeah. Okay, so can we do, I thought you were central, so can we do 644 00:39:54.560 --> 00:39:59.760 three o'clock eastern on Wednesday? Yeah, we can do, yeah. Okay, let me put it in. 645 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:09.240 Okay, three o'clock. Perfect. That's awesome. Yeah, I look forward to continuing the conversation 646 00:40:09.240 --> 00:40:14.440 because, yeah, it's awesome. It's a good start, though. It's got me already with some things 647 00:40:14.440 --> 00:40:19.240 to think about before I talk to you next. So, yeah, so good. 648 00:40:19.240 --> 00:40:23.720 I'm glad we were able to visit a bit and catch up and see how you're doing. And oh, my word, 649 00:40:23.720 --> 00:40:25.600 it's all huge. I'm excited. 650 00:40:25.600 --> 00:40:29.360 No, same with you. It's so nice to hear what's going on with you. I'm so happy. I want to 651 00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:33.520 hear more about that, too. So, yeah, very excited. And, yeah, I look forward to picking 652 00:40:33.520 --> 00:40:34.520 up again on Wednesday. 653 00:40:34.520 --> 00:40:40.200 Yeah. All right. Well, I look forward to seeing you then. Three o'clock on Wednesday. I will 654 00:40:40.200 --> 00:40:45.560 have it correct in my calendar this time. I don't know where I got one. I don't know. 655 00:40:45.560 --> 00:40:46.560 Anyway. 656 00:40:46.560 --> 00:40:50.240 That's okay. And same Zoom link or will you send me a different one? 657 00:40:50.240 --> 00:40:53.840 It'll be a new one. I always just, what I do, it makes it easy for me. Just pop in, 658 00:40:53.840 --> 00:40:57.760 say new meeting immediately when I'm about to start it. It's a lot easier for me than 659 00:40:57.760 --> 00:41:02.000 scheduling something. So I just pop in. And then right before we do a Zoom call, I send 660 00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:03.000 you the link. 661 00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:04.000 Perfect. Okay. Well, I will see you then. 662 00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:05.000 Okay. 663 00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:06.000 All right. Bye, Alana. 664 00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:06.000