Hey there. How's it going? Hi, can you hear me? Are you at a conference? No, I am, oh
my word, good night. No, I am in, um, gotta figure out how to set this thing up, uh, I'm
in a coffee shop. Yeah, I just like, I have been in other places and for so long that,
um, for so much that I was just kind of like tired of them. I was like, I need a change
of atmosphere. So I was like, I need to go to this little quiet coffee shop that I know.
And, um, so anyway, but if the music is too loud, let me know because there's a gorgeous
pond. I could just sit out on the bench. Okay, cool. We'll let you know. So congratulations.
Thank you. Very excited. Yeah, we are really, really excited. Oh my gosh, that's so cool.
Yeah. So we've actually known each other for a year and a half. Uh, we met a month after
I started traveling. Um, uh, so I started traveling in August of 2020 and we met in
September of 2020 and, but we didn't see each other in that way. We were not interested
in each other and, um, we were just really good friends. And then in October of last
year, everything changed. So we just saw each other very differently and, um, started
dating. And then I moved to the area where he, he's part of a ministry here called Morning
Star Ministries. It's started by Rick Joyner in Fort Mill and South Carolina. Okay. And
yeah, is the background noise just very loud? It's a bit loud, but yeah, that's what I thought.
Let me, let me, cause it'll just be a lot easier. Cause I didn't think about that with
the, um, with these Bluetooth things, they're great, but they also let you hear everything
else much louder than it is for myself. Oh, I got my coffee to go anyway. So it'll be
perfect. And it gives me an excuse to be outside. Cause it's gorgeous.
So you're in South Carolina now, is that where you're? Yes.
Yes. Yeah, we will. And, um, anyway, I, I've been here since. Thank you.
Okay.
And they were so, they're just people that are just put into his life and, and everything.
And I just said, Hey, you are welcome to stay with us as long as you want. Um, and I've got
myself on a list to stay at this other, like on a waiting list to move into some, um, some
other apartments and ended up that hasn't ever come up. And in the meantime, we've gotten engaged.
And so I'm just going to continue to stay with them until I move into this apartment.
Oh, that's so awesome.
But yeah, and we're here as well, you know, North Carolina, technically I'm a, yeah, technically
I'm right. South of Charlotte, which, you know, Charlotte's in North Carolina, but we're
Carolina side. So anyway, just on the South Carolina side, just on the South Carolina. Yeah.
Just on the South Carolina. Yeah. So we shop in both North and South Carolina. We,
it's where it's like, we're finding different places. We like, I don't know, go about,
go over the border and back across the border and over the board and back.
So yeah, we're just right here on the edge. So we have, and there's math mandates
in North Carolina, so, and not in South Carolina. So we always have to think, okay,
okay, did we cross the border to get to this store? Cause five minutes ago,
the other store, we were in South Carolina and we don't have to do a mask.
Do we have to do a mask at this one? I remember, are we in North Carolina? It's really odd.
So, but what about you on all of the craziness that's going on in, in Canada? Are you, are you,
I got the impression that you said that you left teaching, right?
Well, yes. And not like quit, quit yet, but yeah, basically I've left teaching
cause they suspended me slash I took a leave of absence that, uh, in, in September. I think
the last time we talked probably. Oh, that's a long time.
Wow so they called me back in March because they're like okay we're not
really worried about this anymore we're just gonna have we're just gonna have
everybody back and I'm like thanks for the invite but I'm not super interested
all right I'm gonna just have to sit over here because the lawnmowers are
over there go ahead right yeah I was just not interested after all the
rigmarole and all the rules and just the way they treated our Union did not
support us at all it was like totally just crazy how some of us who were
choosing out were treated and and then I started working on my ministry more and
I thought this is where God has me so I'm still not vaccinated either as my
husband and we don't we're not gonna be vaccinated unless we absolutely have to
for some reason but we're at the moment we're pretty good with just the way
things are and we I way I look at it is I don't know I look at it may be
different than a lot of people but in the spiritual sense I don't you know
what's going on in the world spiritually for me doesn't line up which is pretty
common I think a lot of what goes on in the world doesn't line up spiritually
it's true so it's it's good like I I feel good I feel good about my decision
I not once have I wanted to get the vaccine or thought it was a good idea
I've seen so many vaccine injuries I've seen how it didn't work over Christmas
everybody got Omicron so the whole idea around the vaccine is just like kaput
yeah they're still pushing it so yeah I'm gonna have to get the vaccine soon
because we're gonna be traveling and in fact we were we have an invitation to go
to Canada Quebec actually to visit some friends and then we are going overseas
for our honeymoon and we might at some point in the future it may be near maybe
far we don't know we're still working on that I'm not be moving overseas for you
know significant amount of time for ministry so anyway it requires vaccine
so here we go so exactly right like if you have to you have to right so where
might you move overseas we're looking at New Zealand so he has a ministry
opportunity there that he's been invited to for I don't know for at least a year
and a half if not two and anyway we're just trying to seek the Lord to see it
because our friends are already over there trying to establish a ministry
school and so they've invited us to go and help them establish it you know just
establish it with them and we're trying to figure out well what does the Lord
want us to do what part does he want us to play should we do that should not do
that you know what's the time and if he does but the timing on it you know what
should it look like so we're still thinking of all of that but regardless
we're going to be traveling but we just don't know if we're going to be where and
we believe that we're going to be traveling you know extensively we just
don't know we're gonna have any extended amount of time like almost like a like a
move overseas that still we're still asking Lord about that yeah we're moving
to a really where Texas are you serious that's wild I'm so excited for you
you've always wanted to move to the States how did that come about Oh crazy
well cuz I we've wanted to we've talked about it and we talked about different
ways to do it and I kept feeling from the Lord if we were supposed to move
there it was gonna be easy it wouldn't be like a rigmarole it would just be
easy and and there wasn't anything difficult but there wasn't anything easy
nothing was really happening and we're like what is supposed to be going on
here so I found out about something called an e2 visa which basically I can
bring my company over to the US and be planted there so we've already started
the application process we already have a lawyer we already have everything so
we should be over there moved over there probably in about 10 months that takes a
bit of time well I'm excited for y'all we're in Texas do you know yeah we're
looking at because we want to go to Gateway Church do you know Robert Morris
Gateway yeah yeah people a lot of the people from my church established
Gateway they were part of the leadership establishment of it they were like for
instance you know Carrie Jo she's from my original church so the church is now
closed but yeah they they he her
for dad, Mark Job, who's leader at Gateway.
He was the youth pastor of the church that I went to.
And then, and that was like a big time church
back in the day.
I mean, like people came from all over to go to that church
but over time, the Lord's just kind of closed to that church
but then in the meantime, Gateway started.
And so, yeah, it's like, it's huge.
It's got all of these campuses.
So when my church closed, you know, a few,
about a decade or a decade and a half
after Gateway started,
probably about a decade after Gateway started,
a lot of the people ended up moving
to transferring over to Gateway.
Yeah, it's a real, it's huge in Dallas.
Wow, so do you know Carrie Job then?
No, no, I've never met her.
I've seen her, I've never met her
but friends of mine were at the church.
So they left before I ever got to the church
but friends of mine at the church,
they grew up with Carrie Job in the youth group or whatever.
So they know her, but I don't know her.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, that's neat.
Yeah, Jason, my husband, he loves Robert Morris.
And so when we went to Texas-
Very solid teaching.
Yeah, he is.
And we went to Texas,
we went to the Heaven Come Conference
and then we went to Gateway on the Sunday morning
and we also went to Eagle Mountain
because we were in Arlington.
So we went to those-
Yes, that's where my parents live.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, like, well, and I loved Gateway
and we've talked about it
and we've been watching it online
because we left our church, right?
I told you that.
Yeah.
Oh, maybe so, or maybe y'all were talking about it.
Y'all were talking about it
and you were going to talk to them
and you're like, oh my word,
I'm really concerned about this conversation
because we wanna keep relationships.
Yes, yeah.
Well, and we did, we talked to them
and we've had the conversation.
It went well, as well as it could, right?
I don't think they fully understand why
we didn't really give them all the reasons why,
but we have partnered with some of our friends
who have ministries.
We've been doing that.
We've been watching Gateway on TV on Sunday mornings.
So we've been talking about it for a while
and then finally I found this way
and I talked to the lawyer
and the company that's gonna be bringing us over.
And I was like, this actually seems like the easy way
that I thought God was gonna open the door for.
Like, just could be easy.
And so it's, I mean, there's a lot of stuff
that goes into it, but ultimately it feels,
it felt so easy.
This is so cool.
It felt so easy that I almost, I was like,
this is too easy.
What's the catch?
But yeah, and then I thought,
well, this is what I prayed for, like, hello.
And so then, this is so interesting.
So my friend, Vanessa Chavez,
she actually, Robert Morris came out of her church.
So she is part of the Trinity.
It's like Trinity something church in,
forget where she is.
I don't know if she's in Amarillo.
She's in like North, North.
Lubbock.
I don't know.
I don't remember where it is, but she.
I don't know.
There's a lot of Trinity.
There's a Trinity church I used to attend in Lubbock, Texas.
It's South of Amarillo about a couple hours.
That's why I was wondering, but anyway, go ahead.
It's about five hour drive from Dallas.
So, but in the.
Yeah, that's where Lubbock would be,
but it could be any Trinity church.
Trinity is a very common name, you know.
Everybody likes the name Trinity.
I can see that, yeah.
Who knows?
Well, she spoke at my masterclass series
and we've been friends for a while and she's super sweet.
She's very prophetic.
She like works with government officials
with prophetic stuff.
Like, she's really interesting.
And her church, Robert Morris and a bunch of the people
came out of her church to start Gateway.
I was talking to her the other day
because I was gonna help her out with something.
She spoke at one of my retreats.
And so she wanted me to speak to her youth group
and do a little like thing with them on identity.
So I did.
But as I'm sitting there on the Zoom call
with this youth group in Texas, teaching them,
I'm going, that's so interesting
because three hours ago I was sitting here going,
okay, God, I'm putting the money down
for the lawyer in this company to move to Texas.
Is this what you want?
Like, I'm believing it is.
And so I put it all down and then three hours later
I'm literally like teaching in Texas.
That's wild.
That is wild.
So cool.
I was sitting there going, this is so surreal.
I felt like I was having like an out-of-body experience.
I just felt just so good about that.
It just like, it came together
in this really interesting way for me
that I believe I'm going for a reason.
I believe that we're taking our daughter there for a reason.
I feel like it's a new beginning.
I'm afraid in some ways
because it all rests on my business doing well.
So in five years.
Yeah, so basically I can live there for five years
this E2 visa, but in five years, they look at my business again to say,
how's it doing? Are you, are you successful? And if you're not successful,
then they can make a different decision. Yeah. So I,
I'm trusting that God is going now, even if we're there for five years,
it's still an adventure for five years. That would be fun. Um,
but I'm trusting cause obviously like, I think one of my,
the deepest things for me is this,
this ministry because I love it so much and I'm so passionate about it,
but I'm also scared because I think, Oh, it's like,
is he ever going to take it away from me? And if he does,
I know he's going to have something better, but,
but I'm like, I'm still a fear around it. I have fear that he's going to.
Yeah, I know. No. Well, so what,
what are you, um, how, how have you, um,
how would you say,
have you felt like you've been able to release more of that to the Lord?
So you're still afraid, but you've been able to release more of it,
or do you still feel like you're, you're in the same, same,
um, uh, I don't know,
same position towards it and the Lord that you were say the last time that we
talked, cause I know that you've always talked about this, talked about, you know,
I've been afraid that the Lord would take this way or the Lord would say no or,
or whatever. So, um, what has your journey been like, you know, since then?
Has it been this, we're just period, you know,
what has your journey been like specifically with this ministry and you and the
Lord? What does that look like since the last time we've chatted?
Well, it's going really well. Um, I,
I realized like the stuff that comes up for me is like fear of loss,
fear of something being taken away, fear of me,
not being able to be in this space anymore and losing like my purpose.
Um, I know God would give me a different one. So it's,
it's like the logic versus the feeling. Um,
and I would say like I'm doing my intensive again this week,
which I did this morning. I'm doing my five day experiencing God's love.
And every time I do it, I could seriously probably cry every day.
Cause I'm so, I don't even know what's going on with me, but it's,
it's like, uh, I'm giving so much and I love it and I feel so good about it.
And at the same time, I'm always afraid that people aren't going to come in,
but then they always do. Um,
or I'm afraid somebody is going to say something bad about me,
but normally they don't like I do get, you know,
once in a while comments on Facebook and my ads will say silly things,
whatever, but that's people. Um, yeah,
but I get great feedback and everything. So I think for me,
it's like getting to the root of that fear that I,
cause I've been practicing rest much more. I'm,
I can be in rest much more. And even when I noticed these things coming up,
I can be like, okay, I can shift into rest really quickly.
But then if I let it go a little bit,
it can certainly rear its ugly head if I'm not like controlling it to a certain
extent and going, okay, no God, I trust you. This is like, not,
I don't need to think this way.
Like I'm holding every thought captive and I'm believing and trusting,
and I'm just going to choose you and choose your goodness and choose your plan
and all that stuff. I can do that. But it's like, it's underlying, you know?
Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, there's a few different things.
One of them is the fact that, um,
that sometimes what we can do is we can start choosing
things like for the moment, which,
you know, isn't all bad, but, uh, I mean, it was not all bad.
It's not bad. The thing is, it sometimes isn't enough.
So we can choose things for the moment. Like, okay, Lord,
I'm going to choose that what you say really is true. Um,
and I'm going to choose that, that, you know,
what it is you say is true. What about yourself?
What it is that you say about me really is true that it really is my reality,
but what we have, what we have to do in order for it to,
in order to grow in it,
in order for it to sink deeper in order for us to actually shift our belief
where we eventually will,
we mature and we're no longer. And we, how do we,
how to put this where it's doing a deep work within us
so that eventually we don't have to be
telling ourselves this and reminding ourselves this,
we automatically do it without trying,
without stopping and trying and remembering and stopping and having to choose
because we,
and the way to do that is that when we choose in a
moment, when, in that, when we're in a particular moment and we choose,
we're actually,
we're needing to choose it for ourselves and our
life. Not that moment.
So if we continue to choose it just for that moment, it can help, but then we're always
every time a new moment comes, we're having to choose it all over again.
And there's, there's an exhaustion in that because we're not ever actually dying to it
completely.
Like we're not dealing with the root issue.
We're just kind of, there's a way in which we're just dealing with the symptom and and
then we're going to continue to have to choose every time the moment comes up.
But what we're wanting to do is we're wanting to continually choose, no Lord, I choose you
over this thing.
Like I'm choosing you as, as a, I'm putting my treasure where you are, not just for this
moment, but I'm, I'm, I'm starting to let go of this world and I'm choosing you instead.
And then the next moment comes, I'm letting go of more of this world and I'm choosing
you.
I'm letting go more of this world and I'm choosing you as opposed to, I'm just wanting
to feel peace or I'm just wanting to let go in this moment.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
No, it does.
Cause I, I feel like I live at rest so much more than I did like before I met you and
went through.
I know you do.
Yeah.
I can tell a huge difference between now and the last time that I talked to you huge.
You popped on the screen.
I was like, Oh my word.
I don't know what's been going on.
It's all been really good.
Yeah.
I got my hair done.
Is it that?
No.
Oh, good night.
No, no.
I mean, cause I'd be like, Oh, see, there she is.
It's beautiful.
As she always is.
No, no.
There's, there's something, you know, in you, you know, it's definitely, it's definitely
different.
You're more grounded in your identity.
You're more, um, and, and take this as a compliment.
You're more authentic.
You're more yourself.
You're less guarded.
You're just more natural.
And there's, um, there's some things that you were struggling with, meaning like, and
I'm just sensing this, you know, in the spirit, cause it's not like we've talked about any
of these things.
There's the, cause I had sensed it in the spirit last time.
And so I'm sensing it the same now, I mean, I'm sensing in that, into that area now.
And there are things that there were hindrances that you'd had.
There were, um, things that you were struggling with that you're no longer struggling with
like that.
So it's the, the difference honestly is huge.
You are a lot, you're a lot healthier.
There's less noise spiritually inside of you.
There's less warring.
Um, yeah.
Anyway, so just, just encouragement.
Yeah.
That's great feedback.
And I appreciate it.
Cause I feel that too.
I feel like generally speaking, I'm more at rest in every area of my life.
And now it's like, it's almost like you're saying like the root, root issue of the fear
and I noticed it showing up, like, cause I hired, I work with, so two of the coaches
that I actually go to for coaching, I ended up hiring them to work in my program with
me cause as, as it's been growing, that's great.
Like I fear, you know, different things around that, like, you know, it's, and I've seen
it show up in areas of things being taken away, even like, Oh, what if we go to Texas
and then the business doesn't work.
And after five years we need to come back or what if it's like all the what ifs where
I could just switch my mindset and be like, well, what if it's awesome?
What if it's super successful?
And I can do that, but it's this deeper part of me.
And I don't, as I look back at all the trauma in my life, I don't know where this idea that
people are going to leave me comes from, except probably from a place of, I, I never
felt like I had a handle on where people were going to be at with me cause I was so messed
up that it would drive people away.
And now I know I'm not messed up and I'm going to drive people away, but sometimes I'm afraid
of people know that I messed up in any way that their opinion of me is going to change.
Or if I'm not right with God in every single way, he's not going to bless me in certain
ways or I don't even know, like I can't even explain it.
Oh yeah.
All of that.
All of that theory.
Um, uh, what are you going to say?
I'm not devaluing what you're saying when I say this, but it's all very normal that
that is, those are the root things because you're always very insightful to be able to
get down to the root things that we all deal with.
We all think, Oh, you know, this is my individual situation.
This is my individual situation.
Mine's unique.
If you really get down deep, which is what you're talking about down here, these are
the things that we all struggle with.
It's like, I feel like if God, if I mess up or if I don't do everything perfectly, then
God is going to withdraw.
He is going to, I'm going to be abandoned emotionally.
Sometimes we're like, Oh no, no, I know God's not going to like, you know, remove his presence
from me.
I know he's always going to be there or whatever, but emotionally we feel, we fear that emotionally
he's going to abandon us.
that is if he's gonna change from interacting with us
to suddenly being a wall.
So he's still there, but now he's a wall.
And we'll do whatever it is that we have to do
like a child does where negative attention
is even better than no attention.
So yeah, all of those are very, very normal root fears.
And that's what it is that we're having to remember
that God says.
God says that we are in him and we are one spirit with him
so that we never have to fear
that he's going to abandon us.
We never have to fear that he is going to remove
communication with us
because he communes with us in our spirit
where we get to the point of feeling like he doesn't,
he won't communicate with us
or he's gonna withdraw the relationship.
I'm sorry for the wind.
Can you hear me?
Okay.
Sorry about that.
It's when our soul, our flesh, our soul and our body
is so afraid that of our spirit
and of anything related to our spirit
because we felt that it's unsafe
that we are going to, I'm trying to stop the wind.
Then we, anyway, that we've got all of this resistance
and therefore we can't,
it's almost like we're resisting God talking to us.
We're not allowing what it is that we're hearing
in our communication with him in the spirit.
We're not allowing that to penetrate our soul
and our body because our soul and our body
is trying to build a border
and it's because we just don't feel safe
because in order to be able to hear God,
we have to be, in order to have that clarity
and that communion, we have to allow our,
our flesh has to allow itself to be vulnerable
to our spirit, but he's always talking to our spirit.
But so that's what the truth is.
And we have, and our soul and our body,
our flesh has to believe it.
So that's part of the, that's part of the shifting address.
It's part of the letting go.
It's actually believing that that's true
no matter what our flesh does,
that our flesh can't do anything
that will cause God to stop talking to us.
It's simply our fear that he's stopped talking to us
that suddenly doesn't allow us to hear him anymore.
And we, and, and, and the legalism like Calvinist
or whoever, I don't remember, you know,
which denominations believe this, but I mean,
I grew up being taught by my school that when you sin,
God stops talking to you.
And we get that impression because we stopped hearing God
because in situations where we stopped believing him,
we're the one who created the cutoff,
but it doesn't mean he's not talking to us.
It means we don't allow ourselves to hear it anymore.
We're the one who puts up the barrier
and all we have to do is take it down.
So it's, so all of this stuff, you know,
that you're talking about, you know, that's very,
that's the root of what it is that we're having to,
that we're having to face and that we're having to release
and that we're having to choose
what it is that God says is true.
Because what it is you're talking about is the fear of death.
I'm afraid God's going to take this away.
I'm afraid of loss.
I'm afraid of lack on the other side.
What if, that's all fear of death.
But what God wants us to remember,
and this is extremely important,
and I know you have to go,
I don't know how long you have,
so I'm trying to be conscientious of your time,
is that we have to remember that what, that death,
the reason that we're afraid of it is death meant lack.
You have, and you cross a threshold where,
and then on the other side of that threshold,
you don't have anymore.
Whether it be physical death or emotional death
or mental death or, you know, dreams, whatever,
you have, and then you don't have.
And that, that's death is lack.
And Jesus, when he died, he removed lack from death,
which was the stigma of death.
He removed lack from death, which was the sting of death.
Says, you know, death, where's your sting?
Because God removed it.
Jesus Christ removed it.
Therefore, the whole point of this is,
therefore, when we pass death,
in other words, we pass what we call death,
this threshold of between where we submit something
to the Lord, there in God, in Christ,
there, because of his power,
and that in him having conquered death,
in other words, him having conquered lack,
there is, therefore, in Christ, no more lack.
So when you let go,
you're never going to move into lack, ever.
There's always something on the other side.
Always, always, always, always, always, always, always.
And in Christ, not only is there always something,
something on the other side, it's always better.
It's always spirit.
Therefore, it's always eternal and can never die.
So you're letting go of that,
which...
can die in order to receive that which can't ever die again. So you will, when you truly die to
something, in other words, submit it to the Lord, he actually gives you something else or meaning
like he gives it to you in spirit. You're allowing the flesh part of it aspect to die and you receive
that thing in spirit and that spirit and because it's spirit it will never die and you won't ever
have to die in that area again because it literally can't because it's spirit and spirit
can't ever die. So that's what's very important to realize about death is in a manner of speaking
death there is no such thing as death anymore because death meant lack but we feel that there
is so I still talk about death as if it kind of exists because I talk about okay well what we're
afraid of is death what we're afraid of you know and it's important for us to die all that I'm
talking about is it's important for us to do the thing that our flesh thinks is it's gonna where
we're gonna drop we're gonna come to the end of having and then all of a sudden there's just
going to be nothing and that's and so that idea that we have that that thing exists I still call
that death but in reality there's no such thing anymore there's no such thing as lack think of
death is kind of like between when the ocean and the air meet you're and you move from the ocean
to the air you know like that red balloon you know floating up there's no third place between
the ocean and the air you're just in the ocean and then you're in the air you're in unrest you
know and then you're in rest there's no third place there's no death there's no whatever it's
not like oh I have something then I'm in a state of death then God gives replaces it with spirit
that that little middle section is what we're afraid of there is no such thing death is simply
what we refer to as when you're transit when you're crossing a transition when you're partly
in when you're going from ocean to air when you're going from unrest to rest but in reality there's
no state of death in which you ever exist anymore as you know if you're in Christ so that's why he
said there's there's no reason to fear death that there's because the fear of death comes
from the fear of lack and there's no such thing sorry for the airplane yes it's all your fault
make it stop I'm just kidding I'm sorry it's I can't even hear it honestly um okay and the wind's
fine but um yeah wow I love listening to you talk I'm just saying you're really sweet the wisdom
that comes out is just so cool because it helps it's like I coach people and they they look at
me and they're like oh the things you say and it's not I'm like yeah yeah yeah but when you say things
to me I'm like oh my gosh like how does she articulate it like that so awesome God gives
good words yeah we have you're really sweet I'm glad that they um but you know the Lord has you
have to have made the choice to position your heart before him in such a way where you can
receive it where you can hear it where it resonates with you between you and your father
and so then it's like oh my word and she says it that makes sense and it's the work that you've
chosen to do between your you and the Lord and you having positioned yourself you know this is not me
like pushing you know rejecting your compliment I'm receiving it thank you very much I'm just
I'm trying to compliment you and say this is this is something very significant that not everyone
when they hear me responds like that not everyone hears what it is that I'm saying and but you have
done the the very challenging work in your own heart in your own spirit between in your own
flesh between you and the Lord to be able to um to be able to hear this where you receive it as
oh my word that's the freedom of my father that's the love um because there's a difference between
being motivated and inspired because something sounds good versus um versus actually feeling
actually receiving something between you and the Lord you know as its actual truth but um
but anyway we all have our particular areas this is why this is um I've gone through a lot in order
to be able to um for the Lord to have taught me how to articulate these things where they help
other people you know and you have your areas and we we um just all encourage one another and
spiritually impart to other people what it is that we've um um you know what it is that the Lord has
uniquely given us to speak into the earth so yeah well I love it and and I appreciate that and I
think you know you repeated things numerous times to me before that it took me a while to get right
like I was like yeah we just saw it again and then again and then another call and you're saying
the same thing again and it was like I'm like this is way too profound like I just can't I
can't grasp it right now I'm just too stuck in this trauma but now I yeah I mean you
said it and I think that makes so much sense. So really like when it comes down to the tangible,
and I know I need to go in a minute, but when it comes down to the tangible,
my fear of moving to Texas and having something not come my way, or having this ministry end,
or doing an intensive and not having people come in, or bringing in coaches and having them choose
out or something after a while, all of that, there is no death because all I'm doing is
transferring into almost like, I know you talked about it unrest and rest, but it's almost like
the same type of thing and I don't know if you would relate it the same way, but I'm not moving
from the water into the air, like I'm not moving in from the water into something else of death
and then going to move into the air. I'm moving right from the water to the air and on the other
side it's almost like there's always something better. It's like the picture of God, you know
Jesus, he has the teddy bear. The little girl's like, I don't want to give up my teddy bear.
So I feel like even if my worst fear happens and this business, this intensive whatever,
is not successful, there's no death because God is just preparing me for the more better,
different that he has, that's more aligned, like even with the church thing, thinking, oh my gosh,
we're going to leave our church and I felt like, you know when a tree is going to be
replanted and they sever the roots six months before they replant the tree?
No, I didn't know that. That's cool. Okay, yeah, so this is really interesting. So when a tree is
going to be moved, they will go and sever the roots around it and let it sit there before they replant
it for about six months and that's how I felt. I felt like my roots have been severed but I haven't
been replanted. I'm still sitting in the same spot. I'm like, God, what are you replanting me? And so
you know, in the replanting, you know, in going to Texas or going wherever, like he's going to,
you know, even with the church thing, I thought, okay, I'm not being replanted but in going to
Texas, it's almost like that's the more better difference he has. So I think I'm holding on so
tightly to my church. One of the reasons we're moving is for the church we're going to.
We want to live close to the church. We're already looking at areas we want to live in. We already
want to get connected and involved because we already know that's where we're going and that's
one of the main reasons we're moving there. And it's so interesting because I was so attached to
my church and yet God's like, there's no death in you leaving your church because I'm just
transitioning you to something that's in more alignment. Is this, am I summing it up in a way
that is accurate? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, because it's, and also in when we move from something
into another, in order for it to not be lack, we have to be actually trading something,
trading, how do I word that, is actually letting it die by submitting it to the Lord.
If it's just like, sometimes if it's stripped away from, how do I put that, oh,
sometimes, I wish I knew how to, I don't fully, if it's just flesh, just going through something
difficult and, but it actually isn't released to the Lord and submitted to him, well, then it can't
be replaced with spirit. It's just, and so that's why it can feel like life just gets hard. People
who go through lots of hard stuff, it's just more death and it feels like more death and more death
and then we don't feel like we're making any progress spiritually or that we're spiritually
receiving eternal things. It's because we're actually not submitting it to the Lord. So we
actually have to submit it to the Lord in order for it to be replaced with spirit. So there is a possibility
of like still dying in the flesh where if it's, where if we're not submitting, if we're not, if
we're not dying by submitting it to the Lord, it's just replaced with more flesh that still can die
as opposed to being replaced with spirit that can't, but so it does have to be, anything that
we do give up, we have to just truly be submitting it to the Lord in order for him to, yeah, in order
for him to work on that. And I know you have to go, but yeah. Well, I'm writing this down because
I have lots more questions about that. So I'm writing it down to talk to you about on Wednesday
because I want to go into that more because that's, that's big, like actually how to submit
it to the Lord and because that, that's awesome. So, okay, so let's, so you said that, I just want
to put it in my calendar. Two o'clock on Wednesday. You said two, are you central times? No, you're
eastern now, right? I'm eastern nine, yeah. Okay, so can we do, I thought you were central, so can we do
three o'clock eastern on Wednesday? Yeah, we can do, yeah. Okay, let me put it in.
Okay, three o'clock. Perfect. That's awesome. Yeah, I look forward to continuing the conversation
because, yeah, it's awesome. It's a good start, though. It's got me already with some things
to think about before I talk to you next. So, yeah, so good.
I'm glad we were able to visit a bit and catch up and see how you're doing. And oh, my word,
it's all huge. I'm excited.
No, same with you. It's so nice to hear what's going on with you. I'm so happy. I want to
hear more about that, too. So, yeah, very excited. And, yeah, I look forward to picking
up again on Wednesday.
Yeah. All right. Well, I look forward to seeing you then. Three o'clock on Wednesday. I will
have it correct in my calendar this time. I don't know where I got one. I don't know.
Anyway.
That's okay. And same Zoom link or will you send me a different one?
It'll be a new one. I always just, what I do, it makes it easy for me. Just pop in,
say new meeting immediately when I'm about to start it. It's a lot easier for me than
scheduling something. So I just pop in. And then right before we do a Zoom call, I send
you the link.
Perfect. Okay. Well, I will see you then.
Okay.
All right. Bye, Alana.