Silence.
Oh, didn't realize my video went on.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm doing good.
How are you?
I am good.
Thank you.
Nice to see you.
Yeah, you too.
I was excited that we got to get together today.
Me too.
I know it's been a while since we've had like a proper kind of like one on one where, as I said, I was like, oh, it's just sometimes nice to, like, I know, you know that I can come to you with certain areas of rest where I know that God's bringing me into a deeper measure.
So it's nice to be able to talk about this topic because it's been on my heart for a little while but I don't know that it was something that really came up a whole lot before when we were actually working together so thanks for being open and, you know, just to talk this through.
Absolutely.
By the way, I've always been curious. So I'll just ask how, how much is your program or programs like what can you walk me through what you charge currently?
Yeah, so I've had a few different tiers of the program so the first tier is.
Can you see me?
No, I lost you just a second.
I don't know how to get you back. Let's see. There we are. Okay.
Okay.
If the other button. Go ahead.
I have, I have a few tiers of the program so the first tier, they're all one year, but the level of support they get in the year is different depending on what they're looking for.
The first program is nine 1997 1997.
And basically, they would get, you know, everything in the portal, all the modules all the lessons all the deep dive work everything. And it is, you know, to virtual retreats in the year.
Like a call like a deep dive call once a month support in the Facebook group support from me support from Jan the other coaches and ambassadors so lots of support.
That's a year 1997. If they bump up. That's when they go into the group that you've been going into where they get eight coaching calls a month four of them are coaching calls and sometimes you're a guest and I have a couple other people who come in.
And then four of them are inner healing calls where I go deeper into the subconscious beliefs that have held them back from really being able to experience God's love and his rest like their belief systems they're deeply held belief systems, and there's eight a month.
And each an hour and a half, and that programs 3997 for the year. Okay.
Um, and then if they want one on one sessions with me on top of that, and they can purchase those on top of that.
So, but a lot of women do one of the first two. So honestly not not a lot of funds for what they're getting you know.
Oh yeah.
The value is huge, and I try to keep the, the investment lower so that more people can afford it.
I still run into. I run into people who are mad that I charged $37 for a VIP pass and they're like, God's love is free, you should not be charging and I'm like, well, he actually paid the price for you to experience his love.
So it's not free the way people have right and everything should be free and what you said about people you know going to the church and expecting all the handouts from the church.
Yeah. And meanwhile, you know, we are supposed to provide for ourselves when we're able.
So, you know, and I've done a lot of research on this I've really dove into scripture and asked the Lord and like, you know, I, I put him first.
I'm a huge believer in tithing, like, more than 10% we do tithes and offerings beyond. We support missionaries we support the church we support, you know, people going into different countries we would never get into we support other organizations.
organizations, like I'm generous. So I feel like I'm aligned with God there. I'm aligned
with him in putting him first. Um, but I have this unrest around money. I hate dealing with
money. I hate talking about money. I don't want to deal with any of that. I just, I'm
like, I want them to pay and then to get everything they can out of the program. And I struggle
when people come and they're like the lack of diligence or commitment. Oh, we had to
get a new fridge. Oh, the car broke down and like all these other things come up. And so
I don't know if I can make my payment. And it's just, I don't like dealing with all that.
Like it brings up stuff in me and I'm, then I'm taking, I'm not feeling at rest with it.
So I just want to work through that a little bit. It's not a nice feeling. Yeah, no, that
makes sense. And, um, so first of all, understand that our, our mindset towards money is based
on what we truly believe about God, not what we know we should believe about God. And when
I say that I'm talking about who he is and how he interacts with us. So I'm not talking
about, Oh, my word, he's holy. He's whatever. No, like is, Oh, sorry. I got a message and
I thought my husband was talking to me. He's talking to somebody else. Um, that it's, they,
it's based off of how, basically how generous, how abundant and how kind that he is in general
and to us determines our mindset towards money. So, and that's beyond just how generous and
abundant that he is with money that he brings our way. But just in general, like, is he
taking care of and provide for me and all of these different areas in a variety of modalities,
like not just in money, but like in, like he'll sometimes bring it in food or he'll
bring it in opportunity or he'll bring it in whatever. Uh, and because what we're doing
with money is we are, we believe that money is just this, is this thing that either that
is people's means or God's means of being provided for, like it's God's means of providing
for us or if it, or it, um, or it's my means of providing for me. And so we can feel like,
okay, I'm wanting to better this person's life, but instead I'm taking away the thing
that most provides for them, that has the most power to like take care of things, even though
we know it can't give them love and help them experience the Lord and whatever, but that it's
taking care of them in so many other ways. And it's because we believe that that's what's happening
with us. So we project that onto other people's circumstances as well. So that, so let me,
let me explain that when I began to choose that God and not money and not my business
took care of me. And I, like, I literally put myself out there on that. I couldn't rely on
my money anymore, meaning like I wouldn't let myself. And then part of it was that the majority
of it was at the time, you know, my businesses weren't working. And so I had no money, but then
I had to extend that into, when I did have money, I couldn't rely on it either. Meaning like I
wouldn't let myself, I had to continually choose, no, God is the one who's providing for me. He is
the one who's bringing me food. He is the one who's bringing me the money. He is the one who's
bringing me the clients. The clients aren't paying me the money. That's God. God, it's God,
God flowing towards me and flowing certain things towards me based off of how he chooses to
interact with me at the moment. Sometimes it's the money and sometimes it's something else.
Well, I can't attach to money like, oh, money is God's needs of providing for me. No, no, no.
It's God expressing through something, the fact that he's providing for me.
Money is an expression that I understand that gets my attention, that speaks my language,
that God's trying to say, I'm providing for you. I'm like, oh, and that's how I receive it.
So when I receive money from clients, that's how I receive it every single time. So what I'm going
to do when I get your money through PayPal, this is what I do. Through PayPal, I don't know if
yours works like this, you might use Stripe or something, but in PayPal, you've got multiple
buttons you have to push in order to actually receive the money. You say, oh, yes. Okay,
so I have this money and it's saying, hey, you can transfer it to yourself and I'll click on it
and say, yes, I want to do that. And then, hey, do you want to send it to yourself immediately
with fees or do you want to wait for one to three business days?
the options, you know, so I have to click and, and give it
instructions about what it is that I want to do. Every single
time I click a button, every single time I touch the screen
that yes, I'm moving towards moving the money towards me. It
meaning like moving it into my bank account is I'm, I tell the
Lord, Lord, thank you so much for this. I received that from
you. I'm receiving your love. I'm receiving, I'm not the
money. Lord, I'm receiving your love. I'm receiving you to use
me to take care of me. You're expressing it right now in
money, but Lord, this could have been food. This could have been
an opportunity. It could have been whatever. You're just
wanting me to focus Lord on the fact that you provide for me all
the time. It's just happening to show up being translated in
money. At this moment, you could have translated it into a
different language, but you chose to translate it into money
right now. But God, what you're saying is not the money. It's
that you're providing for me. Why? Because that I matter to
you. Not that you're trying to keep me alive, Lord, because all
my goodness, you've got to need, we got to hurry and fix it or
she'll die. It's not that it's like, it's like child, I'm
flowing towards you. I'm good. And so therefore, me being good,
I'm going to be good to you, because that's who I am. Not
because I'm trying to like, make sure that you're going to be
taken care of. Because if I accidentally, you know, blink or
turn to take care of someone else really quick, something bad
can happen, you know, and so I've got to make sure to stay
on top of it. It's not that it's God's like, this is me being me.
I'm loving, I'm good, I provide. And that's what every time I
click a button, and there's like four or five times I have to hit
a button on the on the whole process in order to move to tell
the thing I want it to move into my bank account. Every single
time I tell the word of my spirit, spirit, Lord, I received
this from you. Lord, I received this from you. So I'm always
acknowledging that Lord, I'm receiving your provision, your
protection, who you are, and how you are giving piece and parcel
of yourself to me. Not Lord, thank you so much for sending me
money because I really needed the money. Then I'm saying I'm
using God like a genie. If the money that actually has any
power whatsoever, and it doesn't. So I'm continuing to
shift where I'm choosing that power, provision, whatever comes
from in my life. I'm choosing that the reality of it is always
God. So I'm making that shift from the tree of the knowledge
of the navel to the tree of life. On purpose, I'm
intentionally doing it. And then over time that sinks in so much
that it becomes integrated, but I do it without thinking about
it. But I'm intentional where I can be so that I'm I'm
purposefully rewriting a new record so that it'll start
happening subconsciously. Oh, you're you're muted.
Okay, I'm muted. Sorry. So I told and I hear that. And I
think that's great. I love that. And I'm wondering about because
before when you did not, when you just accepted an offering
from people, you were, I feel like if I did that, I could be
more in that place of I'm just going to receive what comes in
God's blessing me. That's great. In this way, whatever way.
However, when I am charging a certain amount, like you are
now, I feel like I'm taking away their provision. Now I can look
at it like, well, God's going to provide for them in the beauty
they're going to get from this program, the depth of healing
and forward movement, freedom and all that. But there and I
want to think about that more so we can talk about that. But I
feel like this. Is it wrong that I'm charging a certain
amount in a sense, not that it's good, bad, right or wrong. But
sometimes I feel like I don't think it's wrong. But I've
convinced myself. Yeah, like that. It's not okay as a
Christian to be taking money from other Christians to do
Christian work, you know, like, because that's also what I get
accused of, oh, you're charging $37 for a VIP pass when God's
love is free, right? Like, you get that sometimes. So I'm
really kind of wrestling with that at the moment.
So, um, so again, what I was saying is, what did it our
mindset towards money, including the idea that, oh, it's their
provision, I'm taking it is, again, based off of what we
truly are believing about God.
not how Christianity works, not what he expects of me,
no, who he is, everything comes back to that.
Remember that so much of what it is that I teach
is me reminding everybody,
hey, I know that what I'm talking about
sounds completely disconnected from
and irrelevant from the question,
but actually that is the thing,
is that that's the foundation is what is when I,
okay, so let me rephrase it in a different way.
I think that I started telling you something
and I was headed towards telling you this,
and then I thought of some other things
and we headed off in that other direction
where I told you about what it is that I do,
when I go through the process of like PayPal or whatever,
I'm always receiving it from the Lord.
But the other thing is that what I started to say
is that the more that I chose that God was my provider,
the less important that money became to me.
That's what I'm trying to say.
And if it's not important, period,
that's what I'm trying to say
when I say it's not important to me,
it's not important in reality.
It's just, it's like not God is,
and God can do anything without money.
So therefore this whole money thing
is not as important as we think that it is.
And if it's not as important as we think that it is,
you'll suddenly no longer have problems charging
because it's not that big of a deal.
Money isn't that big of a deal.
It might be a big deal to them,
but you know that in reality,
the truth that God created the world to operate in,
it's not that important.
And this can't work by convincing yourself.
It only works by actually starting to release all of that
to the Lord and choosing,
okay, money isn't providing for me.
So when I'm getting money from my clients,
that's not doing anything for me.
It's not providing for me something
that God couldn't have provided in some other way,
or whatnot.
And because remember that provision could simply mean
that God is not just simply like,
oh, well, instead of giving money,
he's giving me the food.
Provision can mean he just makes you not hungry.
In other words, you don't need it,
but you think that you do.
So it's not even just translate,
it's not holding onto a need and thinking,
well, God might just meet that need in a various way.
He might remove the need.
So that's my point is that we're always provided for by God
and always taken care of.
And the more that we choose that in our own life
and realizing that that is the reality,
not that, oh, that's just the reality
of the world in which I live.
No, that's actual reality.
Then we'll see money from other people in the same way.
They might still struggle with it,
but it's kind of similar to the idea of,
well, we're Christians and we understand
that Jesus died for us and how important it is and whatever.
And then other people's lives are really hard
because they don't believe it.
And so they're angry and they're mad
and they're taking drugs and they're doing this, that,
and the other and you're going,
I'm so sorry, if you only knew
that this is how it could be, you know,
but their life doesn't burden you as if,
and you feel guilty because of how they're living their life
and how they're seeing it and how they're taking drugs
and how they're whatever.
It's just like, well, sorry, if you only knew,
it's that kind of a thing.
It'll change your mindset on money, period,
so that when you're receiving money from someone else,
you don't feel like you're taking it
because the only reason you feel that you are taking it
is because you think it's important.
It's their provision.
They think it is,
but if only if you think it is, will you feel guilty?
If you realize, no, it's actually not,
then you're not going to feel guilty.
You're just going to wish that they knew what you knew
and they're just going to choose, well, you know what?
I'm not going to go with Alana's program
because this money is more valuable for me
than getting out of the pain that I'm in,
or I'm going to try another route or whatever.
And then you're just like, oh, okay.
Why?
Because that, and you feel bad and you're like,
oh my word, if you only knew what you could have
and if you only knew that what you could gain
is absolutely worth that money
and you think it's worth to you right now,
if you only knew, but you don't feel guilty anymore.
It's now because it changes your mindset
towards money, period,
not just how God's providing in your life,
but you have to start with you first.
If you don't start with you first,
you're just trying to convince yourself.
And you're just like, okay,
I'm just trying to not feel guilty.
I'm trying to not, I'm trying to tell myself,
well, no, it's really that, you know,
the labor is worth its wages.
And God says this, and you're trying to find scripture
and trying to make it all,
there's nothing.
with finding stuff in scripture, but trying to convince yourself without actually doing it in
your own life, in your own relationship with the Lord, will just continue to exacerbate the problem
and will, and because it's just a, it's a, it's a band-aid. Again, it's the whole convincing thing,
but it's like, I know I should, but I don't actually believe it. I know I should believe
it. I know what I know, but I don't feel it. It still doesn't feel right. So it's still not
dealing with the whole feeling thing because the feeling thing is based off of what you truly
believe. Right. Does that help a bit? Yeah. So when, so you, so you were able to say
money is not important because God provides for me in lots of ways, and maybe money isn't the
way he's going to provide for me this week or this month. Maybe it's going to be something
totally different. And money's just one way he provides. So that in itself is not important
because God, it's like, how much do I believe that God is going to provide for me is the most
important question. And if I believe he's going to provide, it doesn't matter how it comes
because we know it's going to come. So go ahead. No, go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say, and like
really resting in belief in that, like deep down inside to truly know that, yes, like a hundred
percent, I trust, I believe I rest in that truth. And so when it has to be a choice, it has to be
faith. It can't be a feeling or all that. It has to be that actual intentional choice that God said,
this is true. Therefore I'm going to choose that it's true. Right. You won't feel it. You won't
believe it, but you're choosing that it's true. And then the feelings and the belief will come
later. So it's an intentional decision that that, if God says that's reality, you're going to
intentionally choose to give it the authority to be the reality in your life. So intentionally
choose it first and then the belief, the faith will follow. That's interesting. Cause I've,
I've mixed the two together and been like, I choose to believe.
Oh yeah. Yeah. That'll make it harder. Okay. So here's the thing, faith and
belief are the same thing. The reason why I keep trying to separate belief is because of
what we associate with belief and what we think belief is. We've always associated belief with
a feeling. If I feel this way, then that's how I know for myself. Oh, I really do believe it.
And, and that isn't part of belief. That isn't real belief. That's not real faith,
but we think that it is. So that's why I always try to just associate
um, faith and choosing with a belief. And it's only because we we've had so much history and
habit of associating the word belief with something else that you don't need. And then
we're getting frustrated because we can't conjure up for ourselves when God is commanding us to
have faith. And we get frustrated, like, well, what I'm trying, but it's not working. God,
if you don't need this, this isn't belief anyway, but it's what you thought was belief.
So that's why I just tried to separate them, but you're right. Belief and faith is the same thing,
but what, what, what it is is faith is an intentional choice that something is true.
And when you intentionally choose that something is true, according to God, you believe it,
but not according to the world, according to the world, no belief is like this thing that just
naturally comes up and it just naturally happens and it carries you away. And, and that's why we're
always praying for something to happen to change us. And God's like, no, you have to, it's an
intentional decision of your will. So anyway, if that, if that's helpful, otherwise it can get
frustrating. Right? Like it's almost like an intent. So the way I look at it and you might
word it differently, but I look at it as like, I'm intentionally choosing in my soul to believe
to, to choose in my soul, but I choose to believe or come into agreement with, I often use the
language, come into agreement with God's truth that he's providing everything I need. And when
I come into agreement with his truth on that, cause he says it, and then I believe him and
then I'm resting because I'm in that place of belief. And it's almost like bringing my soul.
It's like the soul is the power driving force behind, you know, you know, if our flesh desires
something, I feel like our soul is this like power driving force that can drive the fleshly desires
forward, or we can bring our soul under the authority of the Holy spirit and more and more
by coming into agreement. Right. That's how I would word it. You might say it differently.
That's great. Yeah. I think of the soul as basically the decision maker, the gatekeeper
to allow the spirit to, uh, and it will to have its way and for the, and for the soul and the body
to follow the way of the spirit or to decide, Nope, I'm going to cut it off.
off, I'm afraid. And then we're going to build our own little
kingdom and try to do this on our own. So I always think that
the soul is kind of like the gatekeeper, the decision maker
that's choosing whether to come into alignment and agreement
with the Lord or not.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And that's, that's where like, in
the Set Free Academy, we do a lot of deep subconscious work,
because so many of our belief systems live deeply inside of us
from when we were young. And we, it helps us be able to choose to
bring our soul under the authority of the Holy Spirit.
Otherwise, the soul keeps putting power behind fleshly
desires, because we're letting it right. So I feel like there's
this choice that we make. And, and so anyway, yeah, like, I, so
for you, as you walked through this process of switching from
not just taking an offering to actually saying, this is what I
charge. And then because I've watched you go through the
process, which has been really interesting from like someone
looking in from the outside is, you know, first, it was an
offering, and then it was an amount, then it was a higher
amount, then it was a higher amount, then it was a higher
amount, right? So what made you? What did you go through to
engage in? Okay, I'm ready to charge more, like, what was your
reasoning? And I'm super just curious for Yeah, I think you're
I think you're totally worth it. By the way, I just need to say
that. And I, and I I'm super curious, because I think it's
such an interesting progression that you've gone through, if
you're open to sharing.
Yeah. And before we get into that, let me let me take
something that we were talking about and go a bit deeper than
that, because that is deeper on it, because it's very, very
important distinction. And when we're talking about the Lord
providing for us, like, oh, well, it, you know, he may not
provide for me and many might provide in some other way. Money
is not God's means of provision. It's not thinking I need a way
to provide for them. So I'm going to send money, or I need a
way to provide for them. So I'm going to send food, or I'm going
to send clients. That is not God. God does not use money,
business, ministry, clients, food, whatever, as a means of
providing for us. Provision, remember, is a state and an
environment, not a state, it's an environment in which we
exist, in which we are always provided for, always protected.
And so the money is simply an expression of an environment we
always exist in. And so it's important that we don't because
otherwise, we're still putting a an important and a what is it
like an a power and authority or whatever, in money, in food,
in something definitive, that we as if it still has it. And
those are all things that are underneath that. They're so
therefore they can't give us anything. We're the ones who
bring something to it. We're the ones who bring life to them.
They are not God's means of providing for something above
them. So that's why it's important because otherwise,
we'll still run into the same problem kind of like, how do you
put it, when you've got pressure under something, and it's trying
to bubble out, like, say, for instance, like under a balloon or
something, it's trying to push out this way, if you push it
down, the pressure has got to go somewhere. And so it's going to
pop up somewhere else. I'm sure that you probably teach that in
the set free Academy about like pain or, or stress or whatever.
If you just use coping mechanisms, all it's going to do
is it's going to shove it down in this area, but you're
something else, you're going to start acting out in some other
area, because the stress, the pressure has to go somewhere. So
it's the same thing with this idea is we can try to say, Oh,
well, you know, God, God may not provide for me in money, he
might provide for you with the food, or he might provide it for
me in the opportunity or might provide for me. No, none of
those things are God's means of providing for you as a son of
God or a new state of existence in which you are always
provided for. It's almost like the this is how I wear it
sometimes and picture it is you're like the child, you know,
the baby in the womb, surrounded by the ambionic fluid. That the
provision and the protection is the ambionic fluid in which you
are living. It is it provides for it provides certain things
and protects the baby. You know, and it provides certain things
for the baby. It's not just from what I understand just through
the umbilical cord. It, you know, it doesn't. So it's a
very limited picture, but it gives you an idea. It that's
what provision and protection are.
is they are an environment that God created for us to support us, the more
important thing.
And then, which is meaning like it's more important, the environment, we're
more important, the environment, God set up the environment in order to protect
us.
Again, this is in the spirit.
This is not, this is not an environment in which we're existing in the, in the
world spirit.
And so the money or whatever is God trying to get our attention and say, Hey,
look, you look at money as an ability to, you see that through the principles
that I've created on earth, money is recognized by people in such a way.
And it recognized by other principles that I created that allows things to
flow.
So you understand that that's a language that you understand.
You've been taught it in school.
And so that's the language you understand.
So I'm going to communicate with you in a language that you understand, but
understand all I'm doing is I'm communicating a language to you.
I'm not giving you the thing I'm communicating with you.
That's what money is.
Money is a communication.
It's an expression from God.
It's not actually providing for you.
It's not giving you something that's already happened in the spirit.
And that's already happening in the spirit.
You're never out of it.
My point is that provision and protection are not things that are transacted to
us.
It's an environment in which we always exist.
We're never in lack where we need it.
You never need provision.
You're always in it.
Okay.
So in a manner of speaking, you never need anything.
You always have already have it provided for.
It's just that in, in the world, those things are just, there are things that
God uses in the world to express the fact that what you're needing is already
happening and all, and you've never not, you've never needed it because it's
always been provided for it.
You know, so I know that that is very deep, but if someone can grab a hold of
that, that is a huge, uh, a huge, um, what's the English word for it?
Like differentiating factor that makes all of the difference.
Otherwise just, just keeping that, Oh, well, God may not provide for it.
And this means that he might provide it for another.
You're, we're still naming things and we're giving this, we're giving things
that are underneath us that need our life.
We're giving them importance and we're elevating them above ourselves is that
God would use those things to give us something that we're lacking.
We can only have anything that we need provided for us by God.
And it's this state in which we exist in which we're never out of.
So therefore we're never in lack.
We always have.
And therefore we always need, I know that it's very deep, but I
promise you that that's the time.
No, it's actually, it makes so much sense because for me, ever since I
was a baby, I learned that my needs were not going to be met.
And I had to provide for myself.
So it's interesting to like, cause you know, it's fun how
he's always bringing us deeper.
So for me, it's bringing, he's bringing me deeper into, I, there are, and I've
noticed this, like there are still things I'm doing in my strength, like that.
There are times where Jesus takes the wheel and there are lots of
times where I've been pondering this over the last several months is just.
I'm like, wow, a couple of months ago, I realized, you know, a lot of times
I'm Jesus and I are doing life together.
I'm holding his hand in the morning and I'm like, what are we going to do today?
Except I'm driving and he's in the passenger seat.
Yeah.
And I, I'll offer you with me.
You're with me.
We're together, but I'm just going to take control here.
And that's been my trauma response.
It was controlling.
And so it's been fun because I think, I don't think he ever stops bringing us
into deeper measures of rest with him.
So this is the most recent one.
So I love that because I'm still looking at things outside
of me to provide what I need.
So it's a good, it's a good shift of perspective.
So thank you.
You're welcome.
Because again, I just feel like, oh my word, if I just leave her with that,
well, then it's just like moving the stress to something else.
And, and I was like, then it's not going to solve the problem.
And let me go inside.
And I think my husband was in there.
We live in a studio apartment right now, and it is very
hot and humid here in Dallas.
You have that to look forward to.
I've heard.
Oh, very nice.
Yeah.
And everybody around has a pool except my, my, uh, uh, the people we live with.
Not the people we live with the people we rent an apartment from, which I'm fine
with because, um, my goodness, a pool sure would be a lot of, um, I always
thought it will be a lot of maintenance.
You just need a pool.
You can visit someone else does the maintenance.
Exactly see that's why we all need rich friends or whatever we need whoops we need people and that was a that was a joke from a from a.
sitcom or he said you need the friends with the pool friends with I don't know in the whatever he goes on this full list and.
will do all this stuff and okay so sorry, I have my.
My husband obviously has a gets hotter than I am hotter than I do, and so I have to turn down the and the fan let's see if I can get this to stand on so back to the question that you were asking me earlier before I got sorry about all of this, see if I can get.
up now and that's the question as far as like what I used to do.
My phone's not going to fall down okay is um.
So i'll just start because i'm not really sure what i've already told you versus what I haven't that so basically what I did is and.
You know, I have a commitment jester and the whole point of that wasn't been paying me the point of it was, and I would walk them through that you remember.
And that hey, this is your commitment to this is that this is a money expression of the spiritual commitment you're making to reward.
You know your or your soul or whatever, in order to get your soul's attention that you're this serious so that when the going gets tough you remember oh yeah, this is how badly I want it, you have a quantitative amount.
or number that you can associate with your determination or whatnot because otherwise you know that the determination or go up and down or the the amount of the amount of pain ebbs and flows and they're like.
You know i'm or i'm doing great and oh no i'm not oh i'm doing great again so maybe I don't need it.
And so they needed a specific amount in order to invest in them, because if I was also going to invest in them to the degree that I was three that I do.
I need them to be more invested in them at least equal if not more invested in themselves than I am otherwise I get burned out and it's something that I sense.
And it's something that I sense it's something it's something that I just kind of sense that Okay, this is not.
This is no longer as important to them as it is to me, and then I just start it I can hang on for a little bit but i've been done it for so long now, meaning like so intensely of with so many people.
I mean three four years three almost four years now it doesn't seem like that long, but with the amount of intensity and the number of people it's been you know it's been quite a bit.
And anyway, so I did it then like I told you that people were paying me hundreds even thousands, then you know, for the program, you know, to be part of the program is this their commitment jester.
But then everything changed to like 70 to $100 and I do mean everyone and i'm like okay something Lord is different.
To go from me having conversations with people to help them understand the commitment jester to now between 70 to 100 and some people were lower than that i've had people do $5.
i've had people do to will find it was $5 for a program that was back when I did my all of my not program.
My teaching module and my teaching series all of that when I used to do those for commitment justice as well.
That I had said the lowest amount i've had someone pay for that is by the lowest amount that i've had them pay for conferences, the dollar.
And then I think the lowest amount that i've had someone pay for rest intensive is $2 and 22 cents they were very specific about and.
But, but because I invested in those people in that particular way they were so, and they were so changed, they have come back and since.
sewn in more in their commitment to continue their their journey, and so now they paid in hundreds, you know because they now realize Oh, my goodness is very important.
i'm now at a different part of my life in this, and so now they're making that that investment, a different different level.
So that's what started, but I changed when everything fell off when everything was hitting the hundred to $70 so I asked the Lord.
Lord what's going on is it that i'm not explaining it well enough is it that the grace is lifted in me doing this at all.
In me doing this at all is it that I need to restructure how I do the.
program and what I offer, it's no longer valuable to people or
their, or I need to, I, is it how I express it, Lord, in my
marketing? Um, you know, Lord, what's changed? Because all I
thought, Lord, everything is the same. And then all that everything
is now responding very different. So what area, Lord,
are you wanting me to address? Is it something in me? And or
whatnot. And so I went, I felt that it was the money. Like,
well, maybe I should start and change a specific amount. And so
here telling you this, it sounds like it was no big deal. It was
a very big deal. I felt guilty, it felt wrong. I just I just
struggled to, to do this from my, from my relationship with
the Lord, to, and, and struggled not doing it, because I was
just, how would you put that? Um, that I was just scared. And
I was trying to take things into my own hands. You know, I wanted
to, I wanted to make sure that this was the Lord that was
wanting me to do it. But I just couldn't, I was just convincing.
I was working to make sure that he was telling me versus I was
just convincing myself by finding the right scriptures by
finding, you know, labor's worth its wages, whatever. So I really
went through it. I mean, it was all kinds of confusing. And so
finally, I just thought, you know what, I, I'm going to try
it. Because I can't figure out and it took a long time. I don't
remember how long that this journey took of me like
questioning and wondering what I should do and whatever. I don't
remember how long it took, but it took a while. Like, I don't
know if you remember, but even in the conference in March of
20, March of 2021, even that was a commitment jester. I don't
think anybody had ever heard anything like that before, you
know, and even all of that was a commitment jester and people
paid hundreds. Some of these people didn't know me. In fact,
most of the people didn't know. And they paid hundreds because
they understood that the grace lifted after that. And so like
I said, that's what happened. I just looked for Lord, where does
there need to be a shift? Is it in me? Is it in how I'm
approaching it? Am I not approaching it in spirit
anymore? Meaning like the program? Lord, am I doing this
out of my flesh? Lord, are you trying to get my attention that
and that things are imbalanced because of how it's structured
and you structure it differently. In other words,
what I'm offering of my time, or the types of things that I'm
teaching people, or is it Lord the money? So what is it? And
anyway, so that's what I did. And I do that every time that
I've, I've increased it, it's always been based off of
something's gotten my attention. And usually, and this is just me
being transparent with you, because I don't like to, I don't
like to have a kind of like business where I'm like hiding
from people what it is that you know, people that that, you
know, I work with, what it is that I'm doing in the
background to making it like this magic thing that happens
behind the curtain, I make everything look pretty on the
outside, no, inside, I'm, what's happening behind the curtain is
I'm getting burnt out. And I'm like, and I love what I do. And
I'm like, Lord, why am I getting burnt out over something I love?
My husband watches it, I come alive, when I'm in the middle of
a program. And but if I'm not careful, during certain parts of
the program, I will start, I will dread it. I will dread the
call. I'll dread the one on one, I'll dread the whatever. And
like, okay, something's wrong. Because as soon as as soon as I
get on with them, I come alive again. But I dread it before.
And then sometimes I crash afterwards, not always a lot of
times I'm floating on a high afterwards. You know, even if I
was like dreading it, getting into it. So my point is that I
love what I do. But if I'm loving what I do, and I'm and
I'm burning out, and I'm dreading getting on a call with
so and so or I'm dreading like getting on the teaching. Why?
Because even when I'm in it, I'm loving it. What is going on? So
that gets my attention and lets me know that something's out of
alignment lets me know that I'm investing in more than I feel
like, that that I'm alone. I'm alone in the investment. I'm all
out there. And they're not meeting me there. And they're not
changing, or they're not changing fast enough, or they're
not whatever. And that gets my attention. So I then asked,
Lord, Lord, is it the money? Is it the amount of time that I'm
offering of myself? It's just is
Is, am I being too inconvenienced in my schedule?
And that's what's burning it out is it's touching other areas of my life that are very precious to me.
And, and I'm letting this in my husband will watch this and it really bothers him he said actually I've watched when you do a program he said it completely takes you over completely you work on it from Senate to send down.
Is that until late at night.
And I've sometimes pulled in a few all nighters.
Not because I had to be just like I'm just loving I'm enjoying what I'm doing, but I'm getting but anyway the point is he's like actually you get so immersed in it, that it's just a very unhealthy balance so I'm trying to, you know, figure out, you
know, how to, how to do a bit differently so anyway those are some of the triggers. Those are some of the things that I'm noticing that get my attention that there's an imbalance but then I always have to check yeah but where's the imbalance.
Is it in the money or is it somewhere else. But if I thought that, so I just kind of like feel it out. I kind of put my feelings I kind of like bring each one to the forefront.
How does my soul feel about this one. How does my spirit feel about this one.
And you know and then I'll put that one back okay well what about the time, you know, or I'll put it down well what about the structure, so that what about the money.
And so anyway, like I had moved to my one on one set to 275.
And, and, and I put that out there. I was like okay that's what I'm thinking, and it took me a while to land on that number.
But I put it out there.
And I and I still didn't feel good about it. I was like there's something that's not the right number. And so about a week later, I'm changed it to 250, because that's that because that's the number that kept popping into my head.
Okay, it's 250.
So, anyway, but when I did, when I did my last, when I did a rest intensive program back in October, I had bumped up my, the last time I done a rest intensive prior to that was $200.
I bumped it up to 1000.
So I did a five times increase.
And anyway, so, and but my friend who did the $200 one. She was shocked because she said actually I, I told you I was going to join it.
And I thought it was 2000.
I didn't know it was only 200, why are you only charging 200.
And anyway, so I eventually and it took me about a year, but I increased it to 1000. And then I think that the next time I started up in August or September it's going to be more than that.
I toyed with 2000, toyed with, we'll just see. And that, anyway, the thing is I think that there's still work in me that needs to be done before I can know what it is that I'm offering and how much money that needs to be, meaning like how much the Lord my spirit
told me that needs to be. And, but that all has to be based off of how I change and what he teaches me because that's going to influence what it is that the next rest intensive program looks like is who am I at the end of the summer.
And that's what the rest intensive will be.
What it's going to be structured like is it can be six weeks is again something else I don't know that.
Okay, well thank you for sharing that I appreciate just knowing your process and, and I hear that and I think, you know, you really went to the Lord which is great and I feel like, you know, I've gone to him and I've recently I left it on a voicemail I recently have realized how much more forward movement the ladies get from the program the second tier program where they're getting eight calls a month instead of one a month.
The ones who get one a month they're trying to get the cheaper price, but they're not getting the support.
One a month.
I'm sorry what's one a month. The one call a month is the one program the 19 the lower tier. Yeah, so I feel like the Lord is inviting me into
releasing that lower tier for a little bit, and just offering the higher tier because the value is phenomenal. You're getting eight calls a month they can come on instead of one one hour call in the month to touch base and do you know a deeper activity.
They're getting eight a month and I never actually chose to create the, the lower end.
program from my personal choice. It was because somebody else was gonna run it and I created it
and then I let them go because it was misaligned, right? And so I feel like the Lord's given me
some release on that one right now. I don't know if I'll bring it back but right now I would like
to take a pause on it. And really my sweet spot is serving the women consistently, walking with
them, seeing them every week because then I can kind of help them when they're struggling, you
know? And so I feel peace about that but where I'm struggling the most is when people invest. I
don't know how you would deal with this. You might do like a paid in full option. Your program's not
as long but if you had a one-year program and people were paying in payments and then all of
a sudden you're getting all these messages that somebody can't pay because this reason or that
reason or another reason. It's like I don't like dealing with money conversations like that because
to me it's like a lack of diligence, a lack of commitment, like some of these things and
prioritizing stuff. If there's multiple bills, yes and then one of them is their
their car or that's a bad example but I'm just trying to give an example. They don't know the person
to call for their car but they personally know you and it's pulling on a personal understanding
and pulling on a personal relationship which is why I try to refer to my business now as a
business not a ministry. So now people don't deal, I don't deal with the same issues that you do
because I don't and the only time I have is the once or twice that I've allowed someone to give
me two payments instead of one. I've only done that I think maybe once and sure enough it bombed
out, they canceled, they can't and I'm like I'm not doing that again. So I do not charge monthly
because I'm afraid that that's going to happen. Now I've actually twirled around with the idea
about like doing it and doing the whole monthly thing but my point is they're pulling on that
pulling on that relationship. Yeah and but I guess I don't know how to deal with it because
I feel like you're right. They know they can contact me, they want me to be understanding
and my husband said the same thing. He's like it's a business. Yes you have a ministry that
you're doing for the Lord but it's a business and I'm just not sure how to operate in rest
and at the same time deal with what I'm seeing coming up in people when they're
choosing these things and they've made a commitment, they've signed an agreement
and they still are like oh I can't pay, oh I'm sick, I'll pay you in a few days. It's
supposed to be automatic but sometimes their cards are expired and I'm the one dealing with
a lot of this stuff. Correct. And I just I don't want to be dealing with it but I get to deal with
it as part of what I do and so at the moment it's on me and I'm just I'm not sure how to navigate it
in rest. Yeah well before I mention that I'll mention this one thing really quick. What's
helpful in situations like that to be able to hold your ground is to give them a choice.
So come up with something because people love choices because it makes them fall in control.
So as opposed to them paying or not paying and that's the choice. See if there's some other
thing that you can give them and you know it already and then so every time someone brings
you an excuse that's your offer is they've got one they've got a choice to either to pay you
or to do this and this could be pay you tomorrow or it could be pay or it could be
I don't know what it would be but the point is where that they're actually always meeting your
commitment they just choose how they get a choice as to how they're going to meet the commitment.
Their commitment that they made you always get your money but they get to choose how it happens
and you'd be like but it always protects you and I'm not talking about oh do a double payment next
month that will not work. We're talking about like making it making that you get a choice of
doing it now or you get a choice of doing it and I don't know I'm just making this up tomorrow but
if you do it tomorrow the payment is going to come out a day early next month or something.
I'm totally making all this that just off the fly that's probably a horrible idea.
My point is do you see how there's how there's wiggle room and it makes them feel like they've
got they that you're working with them but really they also know know there's always that commitment
and you are holding a firm boundary and that's going to help them not only respect you it's
going to help them be more diligent going forward and
taking the program seriously.
Yeah, I like that.
That's one of the problems.
Yeah, I'm not,
I like that idea. I'm just not sure
what to offer
as a choice. I don't know either.
I was just throwing that out. So, I was just
telling you, according to human psychology,
that works really well, as if
someone, it's like a child,
they think they're getting a choice.
You can sit here and
eat this, or
you can
go start getting ready for bed.
So, if you don't want to eat it,
I won't,
you don't have to, but you are going to have to
go get ready for bed right now, because this is what
we're doing, or, I don't know, whatever.
So, you're giving them a choice,
and they have a choice. Which one do they
want to live with? And so, it makes them feel
more powerful, makes them feel like, okay,
well, I get to choose what I want to live with,
but at the same time, you're still
holding a firm boundary
as a parent, or, you know, as a whatever.
So, I don't know what it would be. I'm just telling
you that it's human psychology that can help,
because I've thought about that for myself.
Like, because it's going to come up.
If I ever do a monthly thing,
it's going to come up, and I don't want to deal
with it. That's why I would rather
thus far have fewer clients
based off of who can pay
in full, versus dealing
with that each month.
I would rather do that.
Yeah, I would rather do that. Also,
that plays a part in
the
fact that in raising my prices,
I would rather have more of my
time back by making
this and having the same amount of money
and less clients.
Even though I want to help lots of people,
if that balance
is off, it's just not worth it
anymore. So, for instance, you know,
you mentioning, hey, you know, if you're
going to increase your price, that's perfectly fine,
but we'll do it every other month. I'm like, that's fine.
Because
even though I'm loving being,
enjoying pouring into
the ladies and feel honored to be part of it,
it is worth it to me with the amount
of time that I like to spend doing all kinds
of other things that I get to.
I get to
be part of the group by
pouring into them. I get that opportunity,
but
I'm making almost the same amount
of money. It's honestly a bit less,
but the same amount of money
doing it once and
not doing it twice.
So that other time of that other month,
I can do something else. I can take another
one-on-one call. I can,
I don't know, do something
with my husband. I can whatever.
This is me being very transparent.
Trust me, I love being, joining
your group and all of that. I'm just saying
that I'm trying to find a balance
for me because when I'm in
those sessions, those 90-minute sessions,
I am
pouring out me.
I am like literally
pouring myself out. And so
it's not work,
but it is work.
It's doing something there that
I could have been doing something else. Yeah, I could have been sitting
on the couch knitting and watching television show
or whatever. It's pouring myself
out. So anyway, the reason
that I'm being this transparent and honest with
you is that you can understand
these questions that you have going through your
head, I have them too.
The ones in the decisions
you're trying to make, I make those too.
It is worth it to me to have
fewer meetings
and just as much, if not just a little
less money because quite honestly, it is less
money. And less money,
it's totally worth that to me.
It's totally worth for me having
fewer clients,
but more money or
being with them like less. But again,
you know me, you and
I are the same way. What
we actually,
what feeds us
rewards us is
the outcome. Are people being
changed? So you and I are always working towards
what is the most powerful and effective
way to help someone?
Well, the most powerful and effective way to help someone
will be to live with them. Are you and
I going to do that? No. So my
point is there's a boundary.
There's a balance that you're
trying to find. So yes,
it's fewer times with someone,
but I try to make them as effective as
possible. So you're trying to find
your balance with all those things.
So anyway, I think that there was one more question
you'd asked me that I've gotten way off topic
about. So was there a question?
I think it's like around
how do I rest when
people
are not, like it's almost this
I don't need their money.
However, they have made a commitment and
now they're out of integrity with their commitment.
And it's not
a place of judgment, but it's really coming from
a place of calling them forward into
keeping their word,
let their yes be yes, their no be no,
like staying in integrity, being diligent,
being committed, right? And that's where
I'm struggling with it.
So again, remember that the money
isn't you. The money is their
investment in themselves.
And so there's now an imbalance of you're being willing to always show up and now they're not
showing up. You're always showing up with those eight 90-minute sessions and now all of a sudden
they're not showing up. So you're pouring more into something that you can't control.
You are pouring into their life but they're not pouring into their life. And you're like,
no, no, no. Your life isn't mine. That's yours. So I'm telling you how you perceive it on your
side. I'm not saying you say all of these things so then you can talk about their investment in
themselves, et cetera. But what I'm saying, all that other stuff is just for you. That's how I
view it is it's like, no, this is what you're doing for you. I just have this program sitting
over here. You are welcome to join but in order to join, you have to make all of the effort to
join. I'm not going to chase you. You have to make all the effort to join. And in order to stay and
in order to have been in the program at all, you had to make this commitment that this is what
you're choosing to do with your life. I'm just the grocery store where you get the supplies
but I'm not making it happen in your life. So if you want to continue to pull from the supplies,
that is you owning your own life and making the payment. This is something you're doing for you.
If you no longer want to do it for you, well, that's your choice. Now, I understand, you know,
I mean, they've made a commitment to stay through the rest of the year, not cancel and whatever.
What I've actually thought about is if I did a monthly, I've thought about if they ever don't
pay or if they ever decide to cancel partway through it because they run into like so many
issue, like sure, you no longer have to keep paying. You can pull out of the program early
but there is a cancellation fee and the cancellation fee is an extra month.
So in other words, it's the next month's payment. So that's perfectly fine but there you do have to
pay a whole month's whatever. So it lets people out, so it's incentivizes them to join the month,
to join the program because they only have smaller amounts as opposed to the larger amount that
they'd have to pay which I've been, I'd planned in on making that cheaper than doing the monthly.
So if they pay in full, it's cheaper than if they pay, you know, partial. Like for instance,
I follow a couple that say that if they had their 12-month program is only pay,
you only have to pay 10 months if you pay in full. Exactly. That's what mine is. Yeah. And so anyway,
so there's that, but I thought about, okay, well, having a cancellation fee and again,
it's in the agreement that, which I currently don't have agreement because I've never had,
you know, any, I used to always structure things in such a way as to not have to have an agreement
and to have a whatever and, but anyway, so I might have to change all of that. The point is
that I thought about, you know, well, there's a cancellation fee and it's significant.
It's like a whole month's payment is the cancellation fee so that it keeps,
it incentivizes people that, hey, you can have, I have monthly reoccurring income,
you know, so there's, there's monthly amount that they pay. It incentivizes people to join
because they have a smaller amount that they're, they're not having to have this huge amount out
of pocket, the smaller amount, but I want to incentivize people to stay and there's that
cancellation fee. And yeah, you know, but I haven't figured out the whole avoiding the late payment
thing because again, I don't want to deal with it. I just don't. And maybe one of the things I
could say is that, Hey, the only way that you can do it a monthly is your can't ever be late.
And if you are late, you have to pay your net. If you're late by a day or something,
then you either, you have to pay your next month or that considers you canceled out of the program
and you're, I'm very serious. I am too. That's the thing. I don't want to play around. It's I've
got my own time is too valuable. I don't want the same way. I'm like, I am, this is flipping
right. Sorry. I cut you off. What were you saying? No, I just said it's not worth it to me. Go ahead.
No, I was saying the same thing. Like I, I think I tried to downplay myself because I am
like deadly serious about this. This is a matter of life or death. And I honestly, this intensive
that's going on this week is the first time that I've ever really honed in on that and said,
Ladies you're here right now and this is serious. This is way bigger than just
attending a conference and learning more about God. This is deep work and the
spiritual impact, the eternal impact that we make when we are truly aligned with
God is so different and we're here to, you know, the Great Commission, we're
here to help others understand more about God's love, especially in this
world that is so messed up and so broken. And so I want to work with people that
are serious and committed. I'm seeing a bit of a trend though of people, and this
could be me as well, who's not really enforcing it. Like I'm messaging people
and saying, hey your payments due, your payments due, oh can I pay, they don't get
back to me and then they do and can I pay in a week and then it's more problems
with pay and it's just like I don't want to deal with it but I need a kind way to
not make it like, because I kind of want to be like this is, I get it, I get that
you want to pay in a week or whatever, I get that, you know, in a way this this is
something like you can have a conversation with me personally about and
I could, you know, change it but I have put in the agreement there are no
changes to your payment structure under any circumstances and they signed that
and so I, it is serious but I like your idea of choice. I guess I just don't
under, I don't know yet what choice to give them so I'll need to ponder, I feel
like there should be some kind of an NSF fee like if it doesn't go through on
their bank card there would be an NSF fee normally for that kind of a thing.
They can make sure it's in their account and if it's not it would add up and
eventually people might be like okay I'm just gonna quit and I'm not gonna pay
you anything that I owe you and it's like okay well that would be really sad
but I guess that's the choice that they're making but yeah and it's your
risk unless you're wanting to take him to court I mean because quite honestly I
mean that's what that's what our those written agreements they're signing are I
mean we both know the likelihood of us taking an inquiry is just nil so it's
our risk but just having an agreement that they've signed makes it a little
more serious it makes helps them take it a bit more seriously which is great.
Another thing that I've actually thought about doing is and removing
their access until they pay because there it's not if they're not investing
and they don't get investment and I know all of this understand that me telling
you all of these things sounds very harsh sounds cool sounds like the
opposite of what we're trying to do we're trying to let them know hey look
God doesn't work like that you know the that you know this is a safe place you
know etc so it sounds very counter to that but what we're also working with is
we're working with people that are used to and feel familiar with and feel
comforted by the law and that's what they understand and quite honestly if
they are it what with their modus operandi is is the law and they're just
hoping you're not going to operate according to it you know that you're
going to give them grace you're going to do this commitment whatever it's like
no no you can it also in a way helps get helps teach them ownership and control
of their own lives hey if I'm this is this is the exchange and it works
exactly like this so that you can know for sure what the outcome is going to be
when you make a particular decision and make a particular action so there's it
as weird as it sounds there's an aspect of comfort and security that it brings
that they know what's going to happen and like now they I'm not I'm not saying
that people wouldn't test it but what I'm saying is if you follow through
otherwise this hey you've got to do it according to this contract but then
that's not what happens in reality they kind of string you along for a while and
they're allowed to then it's everything's fluid and as weird as it
sounds it makes them feel not as safe they feel that they like the fact that
they get to do that but there's an aspect in which they're they're not a
hundred percent sure of it helped it causes them to start doubting other
things causes and start doubting the results that they would get if they
follow you you know whatever so and anyway what it is that we're working
with is we are we are working in a world that operates according to specific
principles and that's what people are understanding so anyway that's what I
thought about I thought about doing but again because it's just not worth it to
me it's not worth messing with all of that stuff and and now the Lord might
lead me into something different but so far I'm like that's like really
So I've thought about that, but the other thing is with me,
and I'm sure it is with yours as well,
is I consider people's interaction with the program
to be affecting everyone else too.
So, because they're trying, if everybody else,
and I have had some people
that really struggle with vulnerability,
and if they're being vulnerable in the group,
and then somebody else isn't being that vulnerable back,
they're not feeling as safe,
and they're, or if they're popping in and out
because they're late on their payments,
you know, this month and whatever,
and then they pop in and they pop out,
that it create, it doesn't create a safe environment
for everyone else, and that's really what bothers me
quite honestly the most, is not the person,
and whether or not they are making their commitment
or whatever, that can bother it between me and them,
it's like, hey, you know, I'm investing in you, whatever,
but then, but then, I don't know,
just not being as committed to the group
that everybody else is opening their heart to
is something that I just don't like
to open everyone else up to.
So anyway, and that's why I always,
I still to this day vet people before they come in,
because I didn't do that in October,
and I regretted it, there was someone who came in,
I thought, I knew them already,
and I thought, I think they're ready,
they weren't, and it caused problems.
And so I didn't allow them to go to the next group,
you know, I didn't allow them to continue
after that program finished,
and because they weren't ready, they couldn't keep up,
they weren't changing, they weren't doing
what I told them to do, you know, et cetera.
So anyway, those are just some thoughts.
So as far as like how you feel
when they're trying to pull on your heartstrings
and whatever, just remember,
you can have all of the love and the compassion
and still hold a boundary.
I think that we associate love and compassion with,
well, then therefore it means I need to move the boundary.
No, you can feel it, you can express it,
you can, you know, feel sorry
that you're in that situation or whatever,
but well, yeah, but this is what you're pursuing right now,
you're pursuing healing, you're pursuing, you know,
the Lord, this is very important.
And so that I thought was something
that you wanted to invest yourself in
and was very important to you
to like more than other things in your life.
And, you know, just kind of like walking through that
or whatever, but as far as you, you know,
you can love and feeling,
you don't have to be hard and harsh in your heart about it
while still making, while still following through
on what it is that y'all had agreed to.
And I think the thing that's come up for me around that is
if I'm asking them to pay what they've agreed to
and they're struggling with some financial issue,
is that selfish of me to ask them to pay that money
or should I be like, you know what?
I'm just gonna give them a pass.
Like part of my heart is struggles with that.
It's like, I should be a little kinder,
I should be more understanding.
But at the same time I say, no,
I like I did get to keep their commitments
because that's really important to keep their word.
And so-
It's important for them to keep that commitment to themselves.
It is for sure.
But part of me thinks, I wanna be able to say that
in a gentle and supportive way.
Like this is a commitment you made to yourself and to God.
And it's not necessarily about me receiving the funds,
but it's about you keeping your commitment.
And I'm seeing that you're not keeping your commitment.
And so that tells me that maybe this isn't a good fit
or that like, I don't even know what to say
in that situation because my heart also wants
to give them a bit of a like, oh, it's okay.
I know life is hard sometimes and like it's-
Yeah.
Well, you can, you can say all those things.
Yeah, I understand life is hard sometimes.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this
and that all of this came up.
So because of, so I understand
that you're in that situation.
So I can give you, I don't know if you wanna say,
I can give you one more day or whatever.
I'm just making something up here.
Yeah, I can do that.
I said, and then if I don't hear back from you
or I don't receive the payment by this time,
well then I'll just know that you've decided
to go ahead and cancel or go ahead.
leave the program or something like that. It's all from this perspective of you are putting it in
their hands and just stating as a fact what's going to happen. You know, okay, well, I understand
you're in this situation. I am so sorry. So no worries. If you can't make the payment, you know,
well, then as of, oh, by, you know, midnight, tomorrow night, Eastern Standard Time, well,
then I'll just know that you just have not, that you, you know, because of the situation that
you're in, you're just not able to continue with the program. And then I'll just, I'll just take
care of everything for you. I'll just close your account and do that. And so you can just,
you're, you're wording it from their perspective, from their perspective of you're understanding
the situation that you're, that they're in, but it doesn't require something of you.
You're offering them your compassion or offering them their under your understanding
as opposed to being hard on them. No, you shouldn't anymore. Whatever. I really do think
that, um, it is best if they cannot make a financial commitment or they don't want to
keep going anymore. I mean, meaning like, it's not that they don't want to keep going anymore,
but that they they're just struggling with the money. You can, you take this to the Lord,
whatever it is you want to do for me, I feel that that's kind and, uh, and, and to just
let, let them cancel in the middle of the program. You know, like, Hey, if they need the money,
they're in that much of a strip. You know, I'm not going to require that you finish.
I'm not going to hold that over your head, even though you signed the contract,
that's where you're giving the grace, but not staying in the program without paying.
So you just now I know that, that you're saying, yeah, but this is just delay. Yeah. But how often,
what are, how much are they delaying? I know you've given me like little ideas,
but generally speaking, how often does this come up and is this like always a day or is
this usually a week or what are we talking about? Um, it's usually like, yeah, like a week or two
weeks or something like that. No, because think of how much happens in that two week period of
time, how much you're investing in them, that they have access to the, have access to those
past teachings. You have access to whatever they're still pulling. And they, but they're no
longer, they're no longer committed to it, to the degree that they committed themselves to,
if that makes sense, to the degree that they, uh, I know what I'm trying to say,
but I think the words that I'm using are making it sound convoluted, but anyway, it's, um,
that that's just, um, that's just me and where I am right now. I'm not saying that if I was in
that situation, I would handle it exactly the way I'm saying. The reason I say that is I'm,
this is just off the cuff. Sure. I have worked through some of this myself, but you know,
also with the decision I've made to not do monthly, you know, because I don't want to
deal with this, but thinking on the fly of some of the things that I have ideas that I've had,
of like, if I did monthly, how would I handle it? I'm just kind of telling you some things.
I'm not telling you that you shouldn't have grace for someone for two weeks,
but if it's bothering you this much, I'm trying to give you ideas about what you could do and how
you in conversation and in conversation starters with the Lord about, um, what you could do
different, you know, like, and one of them is truly holding to your boundary, but doing it in
a loving way. You're understanding their situation. You're understanding that, you know, the, well,
the contract, you know, uh, or you, I try to not mention, and this is a, this is something that you,
that is talked about in psychology and in business is you try to not mention the negative.
Now, if they bring it up, well, then you have to talk about it, but you try not to mention the
negative. So you always try to talk about things in the positive. So instead of bringing up the,
well, I, you know, it's, um, it's not allowed to be, uh, you know, uh, you're not allowed to be
late and you're already laid and, and you're going to be late if you don't or whatever.
And, um, instead of talking about that, it's just all of this understanding. I understand
the situation is I am so sorry. So, um, you know, I'll, if, if I don't, if, uh, you know,
you know, if I don't, if the money doesn't, there aren't, if you weren't able to, because again,
you're always saying it from their side, if you're not able to, uh, send in the money,
or if you decide that's how I would put it. If you decide to not, um, uh, send in the money,
you know, by tomorrow, um, you know, at midnight, you know, because of your situation.
You don't feel that you could do it or you then then I'll just assume that you know you just then I'll just realize that's the thing, then I realized that you've made the choice that that that you need to put your money in another place right now because of what's happened.
So, then don't worry about anything, I'll go ahead and after after midnight you know I'll just I'll take care of everything for you. I'll remove the your account, and, and then you, and then obviously, you know, or maybe for the program and so you
don't have to worry that way you know you don't have to worry about payments for the rest of the year or whatever. It's all from their perspective because quite honestly that is relieving them, it's relieving them from all of that but at the same
time it's holding your boundary is holding their in its holding the commitment that they made to you. It's holding you, it's you holding them accountable for their commitment to you that hey, and to them that hey if you're going to invest in them that
they were going to meet you. They decided to no longer meet you in that place and you're like, oh, so under so here's basically what I'm trying to say, you have to understand it's their choice.
They're telling you what their choices.
So it's like, oh, okay, well I was really hoping your choice is different. My choice is to stay with you but if your choices don't stay with me.
And you wouldn't word it like that. But I'm saying that that's what you have to realize is going on they're making a choice about what they want to do with your their life, you are a static thing that is there for someone to take advantage of, if they want
to, I mean, in a good way, take advantage of an opportunity if they want to, and they're saying that it's no longer convenient.
Okay, that's fine. But you stay where you are, you don't have to move and travel with them, because they're moving.
So you can decide in your conversations with the Lord where that grace line needs to be like how, how strict does it need to be how Chloe does it need to be.
That's between you and the Lord so some of what I might say is some of what I said might sound too harsh and not harsh might sound too strict.
And then, or it might sound like it's got more grace, then more grace that always sounds back to something for denying grace if we don't do it, but that has too much flexibility that doesn't resonate with what you're feeling from the Lord.
So you just decide what that is but make a decision and keep to that decision, no matter what someone's circumstance or situation is so that you can you no longer have to make a decision on the fly and make a different decision for each person.
What you can do is go back in time and and think about different situations that have come up and said well and think, okay, well, if someone has died, if their spouse died.
Well, then, you know, that's something you run into. Well, then, okay, just just just give them a minute, you know, you know, well then that's different but if someone's like refrigerator broke.
If someone's whatever, you know, that, then, then it's like okay well I guess this is just a an investment that they're no longer that they can no longer afford.
And that's how they're living their life. They can't help that their refrigerator broke, but neither can you.
So, understand that that if we're not careful we take on the responsibility of other people so really that's coming down to brass tacks is both you and I learned through the way that we grew up that we were, we learned and I'm not saying that someone necessarily communicated
did. And some of it is just how we interpreted it. So I'm not trying to make judgment, you know, cast judgment on anybody, but the idea that we believed that we were responsible for everyone else responsible for everyone's decisions we responsible, if someone
else got hurt we responsible to make it better.
And you're just not.
And my husband has had to talk to me a lot about that lately.
Because I just that part of how I get burnout is I take on more responsibility than I committed myself to, because part of it is windings from the past and part of it is, you know, I just, I want to, because I love what I do.
If I'm loving what I'm doing and I'm getting burnout do loving what doing what I love and like something's wrong somewhere. And my husband's been pointing out as been pointing out, actually, you're taking on responsibility for other people that is theirs and it's not yours.
When you're passing the line, you know, beyond what you committed to invest in them and you're giving more, that's fine if you can handle it. But if you're, if you're getting burnout, you're taking on something God did not equip you to be in their life.
I'm like, Oh, anyway, I'm, I'm, I'm working on it.
That's Hey, that's amazing.
Like, and it's so good that you have a husband that helps you see, you know, when, when that's
coming up again, that pattern, those can be deeply ingrained patterns of realizing, wow,
like taking on responsibility of other people and overgiving to make up for something that
they're not like, I know I've done the same thing that is, yeah, it's amazing that, and
I love that you're always open to learning what, you know, he wants to call you in next.
It's, I feel like you've really been able to remove the judgment around what anyone
might say about what you charge, right?
Like, even if somebody says, Oh, you know, it used to be 200.
Now it's a thousand.
Now it's 2000.
Like, I feel like you wouldn't even, that wouldn't even bother you.
You would just, it would be like water off a duck for you.
You know?
Well, it, but it, in a manner of speaking, yes, but understand that only because I went
through all of that before I ever charged it, I already went through the pain of that.
Oh my word.
Is this bad?
Yeah.
I can, I can, I role played in my head of someone saying something or, well, actually I don't
really do that.
I'm trying to figure out, it's like, I go through all of the emotions that you're thinking
of what happened when someone says that I go through all of that before I ever put it
out there and say, I'm going to do it.
So I do go through it, but I've already gone through it by the time I put it out there.
And so anyway, so I still struggle, I still struggle wondering, you know, like for instance,
I put out the two 75 and I was like, and, and that was less than I thought about charging.
And I was like, well, maybe this is okay.
But even when I put it out there, after I put it out there, I still didn't feel a sense
of my spirit, that that was accurate.
So I'm like, okay, I'll do two 50 and I'm like, now that feels right.
So two 50 feels right now, but I'm telling you what, I change things all the time and
it might go up to two 75 or 300 next week.
I don't know.
So the thing is, I just go with what is right in the moment, where, where is my peace?
If God, you know, because God is not a formula.
So just where's my peace right now?
So I do, the reason it does kind of flow off of me a bit, you know, mostly not all of it,
but mostly when, if someone were to ever say that it's because I've already gone through
it before I, before I put it out there, I've already gone through all that pain, all of
the questioning, all the self doubt, all the worry, all of the feeling guilty.
And I've just thought, and I go through that, you know?
So if that gives you any comfort, but I still go through it, but I do it before I put it
out there.
So I have to be pretty sure by the time I put it out there.
And once I do, but sure, as in like, I'm willing to own my decision.
That's what I'd say about sure.
I don't mean that I know for sure that it's right, meaning like that that's where God's
peace is for me.
It's that I, I get to the point where I'm like, God, I'm owning my decision before you
that I believe that this is right, or this is what you're saying is, is a good amount
or whatever.
And I'm putting it out there so that if it's so that if I no longer feel peace, once I
put it out there, I owned that I am that decision.
Okay.
I made that decision.
So in a manner of speaking, I don't feel guilty because I made the decision.
I own it.
I wasn't victimized.
I wasn't like, I don't know, coerced into it.
I didn't like feel guilty and wasn't quite sure about the decision and put it out there.
And now my word, look what happened.
No, I own it very strongly.
No, this is my decision.
And so I can stand before God like that.
I hold myself accountable to the Lord that I made that decision.
So as weird as it sounds, because there's that strength behind it, it's what the, it's
what a friend of mine calls a strong decision.
And because there's a strength behind it, I don't feel so guilty.
If I like, say for instance, I had done the two 75 and then I'm backed off to the two
30 to the two 50, I'd put it out there that it was two 75.
And then I felt, and then like, so I'll charge people that I'll charge people more testing
out of a price.
And then I realized I don't feel peace about that, but I've already charged him.
So I know that that's not what I'm going to keep doing, but I made a strong decision.
So I'm going to own that before the Lord.
I'm not going to look at, I'm not going to come to him ashamed of my head hung.
I mean, I knew what I was doing and God's like, okay, God really appreciates strong
us facing him with strong decisions.
He does not like our heads held in shame.
He doesn't get on to us and make us feel ashamed or guilty or like, you should have known better.
When we come to him with our head held high, like, this is what I did.
He's like, yeah.
It's like, okay, yeah, but we're not going to do it like that.
Actually, we're going to do it like this.
Like, oh, okay.
So then all you do is shift as opposed to the shame and this guilt of I've made a mistake.
You own the decision that makes all the difference in the world.
All the difference.
Do you ever worry that like, if you increase your prices for the rest intensive, like when
you went from 200 to 1,000, or if you go from 1,000 to 2,000, do you ever have any fear
that comes up?
That no one will get me in?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
All of these things are like, they're normal questions that everybody deals with is, yeah,
absolutely.
Scared me to death.
I was like, and I told Ed, I was like, what if like one person shows up or like, you know,
no one shows up.
And I was like, I don't think it's going to be worth it for me to do six weeks where I
show up for one person and put in as much effort as I would for like all of these people.
But no, I don't remember how many showed up.
Eight or nine.
I think it was nine.
Nine people came in.
I was like, okay.
I was shocked.
So, cause I went from 200 to 2,000 and I had as many people show up, if not more, show
up at a thousand and did it 200 because it shows that my, I take myself seriously and
that it increased the value of my program in other people's eyes and my program's worth
more than what I'm charging.
That's what I felt the peace at doing them because it was stretching me.
It was a stretch to go from 200 to a thousand.
And so even though my friend thought it was 2,000, you know?
And so anyway, the thing is, it's just like, yeah, but this is just where me and God are.
And that's what my program is.
And Ed talks about this all the time.
He said, at, he said, Ashley, your program is very personal to you.
He said, your message is very personal.
He said, that's why you get your feelings heard about this or this bothers you so much
over here is because it's you.
It's not something you learned in the Bible and are teaching.
He said, this is what you live.
This is who you are and you will be vulnerable to teach people out of what you have personally
experienced in your life, personal conversations, you and God have things that places where
God met you and how he did and how you traveled with him and whatever he's like, that's why
this means so much to you.
And you're so intense about it.
He said, because you are giving people, you didn't word it like this, but it's like, I'm
giving people access to the deepest parts of my life.
What hat and giving and allowing and offering it, offering to pour that and what birthed
out of that into other people that they might experience the same thing.
Think of it kind of like a, like a, like a, like a sourdough starter or whatever is like,
I'm, I'm growing it in me that I'm a sourdough starter and I'm like, literally like giving
out of myself to someone else who wants it so that they can grow their, so that they
can grow their own bread or they can grow their own starter if they want to.
But the point is that when you work with sourdough starters, sometimes there's hardly anything
left that you can scrape out of the bowl, but you can see that your starter is still
alive.
Meaning like there's hardly any starter left because you spent it all on the loaf that
you made.
And your starter can start from that little bitty bits that are still left from the deaf
friend.
And he's scraping as much as you could out of the bowl and it can still start again.
And that's what it feels like.
I'm getting so much out of myself that I feel like sometimes I hardly have any left.
And so what I had to do now and go on a sabbatical regrow, like, who am I now?
What is that?
What is that structure?
What is that living, breathing thing?
And so I'm literally giving people of myself.
And so it makes it kind of interesting because it's not like I read all this stuff in scripture.
I mean, I have read it in scripture, but what I mean, it's not like I've read something
in scripture.
I'm trying to teach people how to, I don't know, understand Isaiah.
You know, it, cause then there's a bit of distance in my person.
There's no distance.
There's just no distance.
So anyway, it makes it personal.
I'd imagine for you, it's the same thing.
It's all very personal.
So anyway, that then the point is that having heard that it might give you not only a different
perspective of how to, it might help you in a more healthy way, approach certain decisions,
knowing that the reason why it's so hard.
is because it's personal. So treat it as sacred. You're not teaching stuff that you learned from
a psychology book. I'm sure some of it you did. I'm sure some of it are tools, but my point is
this is very personal to you. You will use those tools. Like some of the stuff that I teach that
I learned from other people, I lived it. I lived it and made it mine. And I can tell when people
are, and you were one of these people, when people hear my teachings about what it is they teach
about rest and whatever, and then they've owned it for themselves, I can hear in how they talk
and the words they use, they've owned it. I've heard other people, however, teach what I teach,
like after having gone through the rest intensive, it is not theirs. They're using my phrases and my
words and my whatever. And I'm like, they haven't owned it yet. That's atrocious.
Anyway, so that's different. So my point is that if that, I tell you that about the fact that all
this is personal to me because it helps me treat what it is that I offer as special and as sacred
and not question so much why I'm so strict or structured in how I offer it.
As opposed to thinking, yeah, but other businesses don't do it like this. Yeah, but think what other
businesses are doing. They're teaching other businesses how to grow businesses or how to make
a course or something. It's not them and their relationship with the Lord and what they walked
through, you know? So sure they run theirs different. So if that helps at all in your
comments to start some stuff with conversations with the Lord. So you'll maybe stop beating
yourself up so much that you feel the way that you do or that things are so hard or things that
are things hurt thinking maybe you shouldn't hurt that bad or they shouldn't whatever. No,
maybe they hurt that bad because they're that important. It's that sacred and you need to
protect it and do it a bit different than other businesses do it. Yeah, that makes so much sense
because it is. It's so personal to me and I pour out my heart and soul. Like I really pray for
these women. I think about them. They're on my heart like it's they we do life together.
Correct. Yeah, and so and I do like I take it very seriously that this is the painful and
beautiful journey God brought me through and I if you think that this is for you, I want to help you
and walk you through that and support you in being able to overcome the pain of your past. Like you
don't have to live from that trauma response anymore. There's a better way and yeah that
makes so much sense and I like what you said too about you know you went through a process through
all your emotions so you could remove the judgment of what other people think because I think I can't
even believe that it bothers me so much when people you know leave a comment on an ad or message about
$37. I had a girl in my Facebook group who commented on it and I actually like said it in
the live today. I said you know some of you are more like really happy because you want to support
what we're doing here and you want to contribute and you choose to buy the VIP pass for $37
and we're doing it for free either way. Pardon? Because it's worth that to you. Yeah I mean like
you're investing. It's like a love offering to yourself. It's a love offering to God and I said
I also really appreciate it because it's a love offering to me that you really appreciate what
you're getting for free. You would like to invest in that and I said and we're doing it for free so
it's for everyone. It's available and you know just thank you if you're willing to invest because
that's really kind of you and you don't you know you don't have to and that's great but
because we had had somebody again in the group who's like I'm not paying $37 for I'm like then
don't pay $37 for VIP pass but it's like this it's almost like this self-righteous judgmental
part of them comes up and how dare you charge anything for anything you do and it's so it's like
this and as I've been studying the Bible more and more on this I'm realizing how backwards that
thinking is that like are you gonna like even saying you know the laborer is worth his wages
yeah it's the scripture and it doesn't necessarily penetrate deep down on its own but when I come
into agreement with that I'm like I do deserve to get paid for what I do that is okay I am
supposed to provide for my family that is okay it's
not all up to my husband, and we steward the money well.
And there's still a little bit of like,
am I allowed to go on a vacation?
Am I allowed to spend the money that I make on a vacation?
I don't know if you've ever thought that before,
if you wanna go on a trip and you've gone,
cause I feel like you have thought of everything that I say.
And like, have you ever thought that?
Okay, I'm making this money from people
and I wanna go on a nice trip, is that okay?
Yeah, I haven't thought that in a long time, but I used to.
And the reason I say I haven't in a long time is again,
what we were talking about earlier in the conversation.
I just realizing that it's God who provides,
I'm not taking it from people and using it.
I'm not, it's that the money is that
I'm pouring into other people,
and the money just happens to be something
that's exchanged or sent my way or whatever.
So that helps.
And therefore I'm like, oh, this is God
who's giving me the opportunity to go on a vacation.
And this is how I wanna spend the money or whatever.
But back before I believed in all of that,
yeah, absolutely, everything felt like this.
I felt responsible for how I stewarded
other people's money, and that's bogus.
God does not interact with us.
How would I put that?
Is that it's not about, God doesn't,
oh, why did I read this?
That it's not about how we, oh, that's what it is.
That God does not give us things
and provide for us in abundance
based off of how we steward our money.
They're not connected at all.
That is connected under the law.
Under the law, how we steward our money
is how God interacts with us.
But under the new covenant, if we choose a new reality,
meaning that God, if we choose new reality
that we live and exist and are sustained
by the character of God,
then God interacts with us based on his character,
not based on our actions.
So it doesn't matter whether we steward
his money well or not, he will,
which I know that sounds really weird,
but it's completely unrelated is my point.
He'll teach us things, and we're like,
hey, wait just a second, I need to get your attention
because of what you're doing with the money,
that's not reflective of my character,
and that's an issue.
But as far as like stewarding the money,
that has nothing whatsoever to do
with whether or not God gives us things in abundance
or whether or not he's good to us.
He's that way because that's who he is.
So what we wanna do is to choose,
instead of operating according to the tree of knowledge
of good and evil, but operate according to really
every other tree in the garden,
but let's just say the tree of life,
is that according to who his character is.
God, I receive and you interact with me
according to who you are.
So who are you?
Not according to what I do or don't do,
but according to who you are.
And I receive that.
And by receiving that Lord,
I am then changed to look more and more like you
because it's just, I'm just being revealed
more and more that I already look like you.
And therefore I'm going to
use my money.
I was trying to figure out another word instead of steward.
Use my money according to the character
that I am, which is born of you.
And that's what determines the stewarding
as opposed to I'm stewarding it well.
And so therefore God is pleased with me.
And therefore I know that I can,
that he'll bless me with more clients
or that he'll bless the business
or that I'm justified or okay to spend it on a vacation.
That has nothing whatsoever to do with how we steward it.
How we steward it, if I can use that word,
how we steward it is based off of our character
of who we are as a son of God,
completely unrelated to anything else.
That's us being who we are,
not trying to do something we're supposed to do.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense
because we're giving from like a cheerful heart.
We're giving not because we're obliged to give
or obligated to give.
We're giving because we truly want to give back to God
what's already his.
And we're not doing it from the law of tithing 10%.
We're doing it from our heart being.
Yeah, a general state of heart.
Yeah, so that makes a lot of sense
that he's interacting with.
us that way. It's not based on, which is an interesting shift for me, because I think
I was still living a little bit in the stewardship being associated with the blessing.
Correct. Because Robert Morris teaches on this too, right? Like he teaches
The Blessed Life. You might have read that or seen that. Okay, it's like his biggest thing.
He has a whole three-hour YouTube series. And then he wrote Beyond Blessed, which is all about
stewardship. So I've watched his three-hour thing. Jason's read his books. And I'm going to read his
Beyond Blessed books. It's the one on stewardship. So I was like, oh, that's interesting, because I
still was kind of thinking, oh, yeah, it's based on that. But it totally makes sense that it's not,
because under the New Covenant, it wouldn't be.
Stewardship is simply how we would steward money based off of our character, which should be God's
character. So that's how he would use money. That's how he would spend it. It's how he would
receive it. It's how he would whatever. So that's what we do. And we're just facilitating
the movement of money within the earth based off of being a son of God and ruling. That's how we're
ruling and having dominion is how in that particular way is how we're choosing to facilitate
the movement of money, which is what we refer to as stewardship. But the problem that I have
with stewardship, there's nothing wrong with that word at all. The reason I have it is like the word
belief is we have associations with that word, where the associations that we have with the word
steward relate to would be in connection with a law. It's like, well, we're stewarding things
because God gave it to us. And we have to know it's not ours. And then we have to know it's Lord.
And so therefore we better do the right thing with it, or God's going to get set and he's not
going to entrust us with more. Why? Because we weren't responsible. And God's like, no, no, no,
no, no. It's all about you acting like me. What would I do with it? It's you being, it's you
reflecting your character, not you doing the right thing, or, or even doing what God would do. It's
you being like God would be. And which might sound like a, a, like splitting hairs, but it's
not. There's a world of difference between the law versus no law and operating in freedom and
grace, et cetera. So there's nothing wrong with the word stewardship. It's just the place that we
need, that we just need to reframe in our, in our understanding that it's not a law. It's not
interacting with the Lord where there's tit for tat. And okay, if he, if he, if he entrusts us
with death, it's not, it's like, no, are you acting like me? Or are you not? Can I entrust
you to be me in this, in these situations? Cause if I can't, then I am not going to continue to
put you in those situations, but it's not that we're doing the right thing or not doing the
right thing. It's that no, are you being like me or are you not being like me? As it's a huge,
huge difference. But I don't know anybody. I was, I never thought about that. And I don't
know why I started this sentence, but I don't, well, I say, I don't know anybody. I hardly know
a single soul who believes that and operates like that. I know a few, they're very few and far
between stewardship has such a hold on all of us. That idea of like stewardship related to law
and related to God's interaction with us and God entrusting us with little and therefore
trust us with more. And all of that, again, according to the law, there's nothing wrong
with that, but understanding, according to the law, instead of understanding, according to
character is, is has such a hold on us that it's infiltrated all of the grace-filled churches.
I said infiltrated, meaning like they think it's this wonderful thing. They just use certain words
along stewardship actually is used more in grace-filled churches, I think than in non-grace
churches. And anyway, so. So being a good steward of what you've been given doesn't
mean that you'll be, or being really well, like responsible for, you know, what God gives you
and all of that, that doesn't mean that it will multiply. Like the multiplication comes from
us being formed into his character more and more. Is that kind of, maybe I'm reading that wrong.
I just, this is a different concept for me. No. Okay. So there's two principles in play at
the same time. There is the aspect that the
Things will multiply, but that's not why we should do them.
When we handle something as a good steward,
let's use that word, handle something as a good steward,
is simply because we're being just like God is,
because we're His sons and we're being just like He was.
We're moving and facilitating money like He would.
And like He is doing with us right now,
again, we're not checking in with God
and then going and doing something on our own.
He and I, our spirits are unified and we're moving together
as opposed to me trying to do something on my own,
hoping He'll be happy about it.
You know, it's us, the two of us moving together as one,
our spirits as one,
facilitating the movement of money in a particular way.
When we move money in particular ways,
God of all beings knows the principles
by which He created money to work.
And He knows when money is moved in this particular way,
it will multiply.
It will multiply that way
according to the principle that He created.
But then what you really want to engage with
is when your spirit is involved,
then it will multiply exponentially
according to eternal principles,
which are very different
than the limited multiplication that will happen
because you're engaging with earthly principles.
But the earthly principles are still in play.
But what we always want
is we always want the higher one to be,
to overshadow the earthly one.
So, yeah, it's the same principle
as when Jesus was walking on water,
is that laws of physics are such
that the water operates a particular way.
And so He didn't change water,
but He just showed that, no,
the power and authority and principles of kingdom of heaven
are going to supersede the principles
by which earth operates.
So they're both in existence at the same time,
but one is superseding the other
and has the higher power in the moment.
Same thing when He told the wind and the waves
to be still or whatever.
He didn't change the wind and the waves
from being what they are,
but He brought in a higher principle.
So they were still wind and waves,
but He brought in a higher principle
that changed how they operated,
that brought things into more peace,
more order, less chaos, whatever,
multiplied the loaves and the fishes.
They didn't cease being loaves and fishes,
He just multiplied them,
according to an eternal principle,
because He brought the kingdom of heaven in
to the same place that the kingdom of earth was in.
And whenever the kingdom of heaven is brought in
to the same place the kingdom of earth is in
and the kingdom of heaven is given the authority,
it'll always supersede the kingdom of earth.
So all of those laws that you're talking about,
they're still in effect,
but you don't notice them anymore
because the kingdom of heaven comes in
and supersedes any results
that the principles of earth could do.
So, but the principles of earth are still in operation,
but they're overshadowed by what is happening,
you know, principles of the kingdom.
Only if the principle of the kingdom
is given the authority in the moment,
and the only way it can be given the authority
is if we let go of control.
We can't say, God, I'm moving in your name,
will you bless this?
I'm gonna go do it on my flesh.
We have to let go
and we no longer have control over what happens.
And then God can move in.
And then he gets to decide what happens.
Does it, you know, did it happen in the way
that we want it to,
or did it happen in the way
that we wouldn't want it to in our flesh?
Well, that's what the kingdom of heaven said
was the best thing to happen in this situation.
So it doesn't always mean that the money's gonna multiply.
You're always gonna be provided for
whether or not it multiplies.
Meaning like in the spirit,
you're always in a state of provision.
But do we want money to multiply
or do we want the kingdom of heaven
to have its say in the moment?
That's what we have to choose.
I love that.
Okay, that's awesome.
I am dying to know how your health is.
I am really curious.
Looks like things have cleared up and are you better?
That's really sweet of you to ask.
It's a lot better.
I'm doing a detox
and I think I'm on week eight, I think.
So I need to make,
I need, but what happens with this detox
is you hit, you go through different levels
and once you hit a particular level
and if you plateau,
well then, if you don't plateau
and you're continuing to heal,
well then you stay with it.
But if you plateau, you need to go to the next level.
Well, I've plateaued with level two.
So I need to go to another level.
And I just haven't, I just haven't done it yet.
As weird as it sounds,
it's not like I've been so busy with everything.
I've been emotionally taxed by a lot of other things.
So I'm going to need to research what it is
that I need to do to go into level three
or to do the next.
And from what I've researched so far, it's going to be a bit of a challenge to do, which I know sounds really odd, but just because of my situation, it's going to be a bit of a challenge.
The drops go in water, and it would be best if I took a bath in it and if I sprayed with it and whatever.
The problem with that is that it then goes down the drain, and we have a septic system.
And this stuff cannot go in a septic system because, obviously, it kills bacteria.
It'll kill all the bacteria in the septic system, and that's what keeps the septic system working, is the bacteria breaking down all of the stuff.
So it would kill the bacteria.
So I'm like, how am I supposed to take a bath every day if I can't dump the water down the drain?
I literally have to bucket it out of the bath, and I'm like, how do I do this?
So I haven't mentioned to Ed that that's a challenge that I haven't figured out.
Same thing with spraying.
I might be able to go outside in my bathing suit and spray down.
Someone told me that it bleaches.
I've never had that issue yet, but maybe I've never used it on anything close to any of my clothes.
But they said, yeah, you do bleach.
It does bleach clothes.
So, yeah, when you spray yourself, you need to let your air dry before you rub it in.
The water with the solution, it rubs it into your skin, but then let yourself air dry before you get dressed.
You're supposed to do that three times a day.
Then you're supposed to take a daily bath.
And so the thing is that I have to go outside to spray myself because if I do it in the bath, then I'm going to run all of that.
All of that is going to go down the drain.
So anyway, that's the challenge.
It's like really planning it out and making sure it all works together.
But I am healing.
I'm very grateful for that.
So we'll just see.
So anyway.
Wow.
Well, thanks very much for asking.
Yeah, I'm so glad.
I've been praying for you and thinking about you.
And thank you.
You're welcome.
And I hope that what we talked about was helpful and, you know, gave you some stuff that you needed.
And I mean, obviously, all of this, we can't be convinced by someone else.
It is just something that no matter how great and logical and hopeful it all sounds, it's just something you just have to work through with you and the Lord.
And then remember that you won't be, if you just try to implement it without it, without changing in yourself, in your relationship with the Lord, and the fact that he provides for you and not many, and many is not as means of providing for you.
It'll be a coping mechanism where it'll just come up again.
Not only that, but sometimes, and I'm not saying this to scare you or whatever, it's just something I want to mention just in case you were to try it and get frustrated.
If we don't increase our prices, prices in spirit, with a strong decision behind it that we believe truly in our relationship with the Lord that this is right, then it can be in our, it can be in our flesh, and it can just, it won't have the spirit won't be in the new price.
If that makes sense.
So I highly recommend just like what I'm doing with the sabbatical, you know, pulling away, you know, that's like on a bigger scale, you know, pulling away from the program, you know, work on me, you have to do it first.
You really have to walk that out between you and the Lord make that real then step out in faith. This doesn't have to take two months to do. It just has to be real.
It can happen in a moment. You know, it can happen in whatever but it has to be real and then you're stepping out on the faith that Lord, I am choosing that this is reality.
Again, it can happen in a moment, or what I'm choosing this.
This is what I believe, and here I go, but do it in that spirit of faith.
Willful decision that you're making that that's what God said is true and you were choosing it as your reality willfully and intentionally no one's making you, you're not just, you're not being convinced, making that decision and then God, I'm risking it.
And by, by, how do I say that I'm, I'm making a risk.
This is a risk taking action of me, believing this and because I believe this or because this, this is what I choose is reality, because I believe that you're saying to me that it's reality, not just because I want it to be, because you're saying it.
This is where I think you are, this is where I think your characters reflecting itself is where I think your character is, therefore I'm going to sew into that.
In other words, I am going to increase my prices and I may lose all these clients.
That's what the risk is, you're going to lose clients, you're going to lose potential clients.
It's like God, so you have.
to know between you and the Lord, God, this is what I truly
think is, is the is where you are. And God, I'm making a
strong decision. Not I hope this works. I hope this works doesn't
isn't fake.
Well, it's interesting, because when I when I let go of the
1997 and decided just on the 3997, it was only a week ago.
And as soon as I did it, I was so scared to do it. So it was
what did you say you went from what to what?
So I let so the 1997 program was my lower tier offer. And I had
it was because, well, I didn't create it for my for any choice
that I had, necessarily. I created it so that I could give
this work to more people for a better investment to make it
more available. Then I realized the burden that I was going to
carry with it after. And I've carried a burden for so long,
because I don't feel like I'm fully supporting those ladies,
and they're not getting what they could be out of the
program. And I think some people go in the lower one, because
they can, because it's available. And so for a long
time, I didn't want to let it go, because a lot of people
liked it, because they could pay less, and they were getting
something. But the burden I carried was they weren't
getting everything that they could get, like they had no
idea what else was possible. Yeah. So when I dropped it a
week ago, I felt like in the spirit, I felt so much peace.
My flesh was afraid. So it was interesting, because I'm like,
because when you left that message, I thought, yeah, I feel
peace about it. Like, I've been so scared to let that one go,
but I feel peace. And I've been listening to, you know, God and
really just tuning into how I'm feeling. And like, this is
exactly what I get to do. And I know it, because I want to
concentrate my effort and energy into these weekly meetings with
people, because that's what helps the most, right, is community
and developmental complex trauma, a lot of it is relational
trauma. So for them to come in and have a community where they
can be vulnerable, and where, you know, it's just so different
with that level of support, and so let it go. And I feel so much
peace, the only thing that comes up is my flesh, being
afraid that people won't come in. But then at the same time,
the spirit, I go, it doesn't matter, because I know this is
where I get to be. Yeah, I just get to sit with that and be okay
with the outcomes up to him. And whatever he's going to do, he's
going to do. But I feel confident in this decision. At
least right now. I mean, things could change. But this is how I
feel at the moment.
Yeah, good.
So when you said about the piece that really resonated with me,
it's okay that my flesh is a little bit afraid. I think I
just needed to work through. It's okay. You know, I'm gonna
be okay. Like, you know, it doesn't mean that anything bad
is going to happen. It's just just a little bit of fear. And
God is God. So why? Why do I need to even listen and
entertain that? Just Yeah, go and surrender and trust God
that? Because it really does make a difference, Ashley, for
these women to come in and have two calls a week, they can be
on some versus one call a month. Like there's just no comparison.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, I know. And that's why I offer
what it is that I do, too. It's like, this is what works.
There's no comparison. And I'm only interested in what works
not in teaching someone something. So I have so many
people that want to know what it is that I teach. And the only
thing I offer is a program. They want to just know they want to
learn about it. And I don't offer them any way to learn
about Nope, I've got the program. It's like people who
and I tell people that it's like, it's about living it not
about learning it. And so that's all that I offer. And I just
remind people, it's like so many people want to teach. So that's
great. But what I do is the hard stuff is walking being willing
being someone who's willing to walk someone through else
through the mess. And most people won't do that. So I know
that I'm not offering that other but everyone else is offering
that you can get, you know, something from somewhere else.
And they're like, Well, nobody else teaches for, you know, you
know, rest of like, I know, but, you know, anyway, I had someone
asked me, is there anyone that teaches what you teach, but for
free? I said, I'm sorry. No, I said, I literally don't know
anyone who teaches of what I teach, like as in like, the
program, like you teach it like it's a module, you know, and
what you teach about, like inner inner healing and all of that,
as someone else, you know, teaches what teaches it in like,
in context of
they're a larger thing. I said, and then there's other people. I said, there's people who believe
what I believe about rest and whatever, you know, and there's other people like Tommy Miller or
whoever I said, they teach, they believe so much about what I believe said, but they don't. And
they do it for free. I said, Hey, you can go watch them. They've got church service and whatever,
but they're, they're just going to teach on a whole bunch of stuff. So there's no one that I
that teaches what I teach. So they pursued Tommy Miller and some other people for,
for a while, trying to glean stuff for a year. And when it didn't work, they came back
and they were finally willing to pay the pay the program. So I was like, I know it because
that other stuff is just teaching. It doesn't, it doesn't help you live it. And that's what
people keep not understanding. Oh, well, where can I learn this? Like for one thing, very few
people teach this, but there are some, and you can learn it somewhere just like I did. You know,
I learned it experientially with the word, but I learned it for a few things, you know, from other
people, some things that other people taught me. I said that I had to walk it out. And that's what
I help people with. I said, nobody that I know helped you walk it out. Like, I mean, like to
the extent that I do. Um, but, uh, so anyway, so they eventually came back, but I do like what
you're saying. You, you want to spend all of your time, effort, and energy in the part that works.
So I only offer one program. I don't offer like one for the beginners, one for the, whatever
I've thought about it. I'm seriously considering it, but right now I love the simplicity of pouring
everything into one group. So, yeah. So I agree with you. I think you'll enjoy that. Yeah. Well,
I had no idea that it was two hours. I know. Oh, time always flies. I think one of our longest
calls was like three or four hours. I feel like it was. Oh wow. I remember when we had like a
marathon call. Oh my gosh. It was so long, but, um, yeah, time seems to just fly, which is awesome.
So thank you. And I know that we have our, I think we have our July call coming up. Maybe it's
the 20th. So yes, I think, is that the, would you remember what that's the, uh, wait a minute.
Let me look. I think it's the 20th because I think the 20th is a Thursday. Yeah. Yes.
That's perfect. So I will see you on the 20th and I will be pondering through all this. If you,
if you're, I don't know if you're able to send a link to the recording so I can download it. I
would love to re-listen to this and just like let it percolate more if that's possible. Yeah. Um,
so I'll give you access to the recordings. I no longer allow, uh, provide access to download,
but I provide access to view it on their account on, on my website. So everyone has their own
account. So they sign in and everyone can only access their videos. Oh, I didn't know about that.
That's awesome. Cool. Well, that's perfect. I'll do that then. And, um, yeah, thank you so much.
And you're welcome. Yeah. Anything you need from me, any prayer, anything that I can support you
with? Are you good? I appreciate it. Um, I think, I think I'm good now. Things are going well.
They're just chugging along. And so I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen at the end of
the summer and by the end of the summer. And until then I'm enjoying, I'm enjoying the season. So
thank you though. Awesome. Well, enjoy and yeah, we'll be in touch soon. I'm sure.
Okay. Well I'll see you on the 20th. Yeah, absolutely. Bye. Bye.