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Silence.

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Oh, didn't realize my video went on.

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Hello.

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Hi.

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How are you?

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I'm doing good.

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How are you?

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I am good.

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Thank you.

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Nice to see you.

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Yeah, you too.

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I was excited that we got to get together today.

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Me too.

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I know it's been a while since we've had like a proper kind of like one on one where, as I said, I was like, oh, it's just sometimes nice to, like, I know, you know that I can come to you with certain areas of rest where I know that God's bringing me into a deeper measure.

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So it's nice to be able to talk about this topic because it's been on my heart for a little while but I don't know that it was something that really came up a whole lot before when we were actually working together so thanks for being open and, you know, just to talk this through.

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Absolutely.

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By the way, I've always been curious. So I'll just ask how, how much is your program or programs like what can you walk me through what you charge currently?

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Yeah, so I've had a few different tiers of the program so the first tier is.

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Can you see me?

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No, I lost you just a second.

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I don't know how to get you back. Let's see. There we are. Okay.

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Okay.

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If the other button. Go ahead.

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I have, I have a few tiers of the program so the first tier, they're all one year, but the level of support they get in the year is different depending on what they're looking for.

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The first program is nine 1997 1997.

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And basically, they would get, you know, everything in the portal, all the modules all the lessons all the deep dive work everything. And it is, you know, to virtual retreats in the year.

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Like a call like a deep dive call once a month support in the Facebook group support from me support from Jan the other coaches and ambassadors so lots of support.

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That's a year 1997. If they bump up. That's when they go into the group that you've been going into where they get eight coaching calls a month four of them are coaching calls and sometimes you're a guest and I have a couple other people who come in.

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And then four of them are inner healing calls where I go deeper into the subconscious beliefs that have held them back from really being able to experience God's love and his rest like their belief systems they're deeply held belief systems, and there's eight a month.

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And each an hour and a half, and that programs 3997 for the year. Okay.

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Um, and then if they want one on one sessions with me on top of that, and they can purchase those on top of that.

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So, but a lot of women do one of the first two. So honestly not not a lot of funds for what they're getting you know.

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Oh yeah.

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The value is huge, and I try to keep the, the investment lower so that more people can afford it.

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I still run into. I run into people who are mad that I charged $37 for a VIP pass and they're like, God's love is free, you should not be charging and I'm like, well, he actually paid the price for you to experience his love.

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So it's not free the way people have right and everything should be free and what you said about people you know going to the church and expecting all the handouts from the church.

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Yeah. And meanwhile, you know, we are supposed to provide for ourselves when we're able.

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So, you know, and I've done a lot of research on this I've really dove into scripture and asked the Lord and like, you know, I, I put him first.

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I'm a huge believer in tithing, like, more than 10% we do tithes and offerings beyond. We support missionaries we support the church we support, you know, people going into different countries we would never get into we support other organizations.

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organizations, like I'm generous. So I feel like I'm aligned with God there. I'm aligned

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with him in putting him first. Um, but I have this unrest around money. I hate dealing with

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money. I hate talking about money. I don't want to deal with any of that. I just, I'm

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like, I want them to pay and then to get everything they can out of the program. And I struggle

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when people come and they're like the lack of diligence or commitment. Oh, we had to

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get a new fridge. Oh, the car broke down and like all these other things come up. And so

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I don't know if I can make my payment. And it's just, I don't like dealing with all that.

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Like it brings up stuff in me and I'm, then I'm taking, I'm not feeling at rest with it.

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So I just want to work through that a little bit. It's not a nice feeling. Yeah, no, that

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makes sense. And, um, so first of all, understand that our, our mindset towards money is based

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on what we truly believe about God, not what we know we should believe about God. And when

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I say that I'm talking about who he is and how he interacts with us. So I'm not talking

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about, Oh, my word, he's holy. He's whatever. No, like is, Oh, sorry. I got a message and

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I thought my husband was talking to me. He's talking to somebody else. Um, that it's, they,

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it's based off of how, basically how generous, how abundant and how kind that he is in general

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and to us determines our mindset towards money. So, and that's beyond just how generous and

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abundant that he is with money that he brings our way. But just in general, like, is he

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taking care of and provide for me and all of these different areas in a variety of modalities,

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like not just in money, but like in, like he'll sometimes bring it in food or he'll

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bring it in opportunity or he'll bring it in whatever. Uh, and because what we're doing

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with money is we are, we believe that money is just this, is this thing that either that

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is people's means or God's means of being provided for, like it's God's means of providing

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for us or if it, or it, um, or it's my means of providing for me. And so we can feel like,

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okay, I'm wanting to better this person's life, but instead I'm taking away the thing

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that most provides for them, that has the most power to like take care of things, even though

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we know it can't give them love and help them experience the Lord and whatever, but that it's

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taking care of them in so many other ways. And it's because we believe that that's what's happening

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with us. So we project that onto other people's circumstances as well. So that, so let me,

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let me explain that when I began to choose that God and not money and not my business

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took care of me. And I, like, I literally put myself out there on that. I couldn't rely on

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my money anymore, meaning like I wouldn't let myself. And then part of it was that the majority

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of it was at the time, you know, my businesses weren't working. And so I had no money, but then

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I had to extend that into, when I did have money, I couldn't rely on it either. Meaning like I

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wouldn't let myself, I had to continually choose, no, God is the one who's providing for me. He is

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the one who's bringing me food. He is the one who's bringing me the money. He is the one who's

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bringing me the clients. The clients aren't paying me the money. That's God. God, it's God,

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God flowing towards me and flowing certain things towards me based off of how he chooses to

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interact with me at the moment. Sometimes it's the money and sometimes it's something else.

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Well, I can't attach to money like, oh, money is God's needs of providing for me. No, no, no.

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It's God expressing through something, the fact that he's providing for me.

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Money is an expression that I understand that gets my attention, that speaks my language,

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that God's trying to say, I'm providing for you. I'm like, oh, and that's how I receive it.

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So when I receive money from clients, that's how I receive it every single time. So what I'm going

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to do when I get your money through PayPal, this is what I do. Through PayPal, I don't know if

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yours works like this, you might use Stripe or something, but in PayPal, you've got multiple

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buttons you have to push in order to actually receive the money. You say, oh, yes. Okay,

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so I have this money and it's saying, hey, you can transfer it to yourself and I'll click on it

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and say, yes, I want to do that. And then, hey, do you want to send it to yourself immediately

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with fees or do you want to wait for one to three business days?

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the options, you know, so I have to click and, and give it

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instructions about what it is that I want to do. Every single

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time I click a button, every single time I touch the screen

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that yes, I'm moving towards moving the money towards me. It

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meaning like moving it into my bank account is I'm, I tell the

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Lord, Lord, thank you so much for this. I received that from

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you. I'm receiving your love. I'm receiving, I'm not the

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money. Lord, I'm receiving your love. I'm receiving you to use

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me to take care of me. You're expressing it right now in

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money, but Lord, this could have been food. This could have been

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an opportunity. It could have been whatever. You're just

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wanting me to focus Lord on the fact that you provide for me all

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the time. It's just happening to show up being translated in

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money. At this moment, you could have translated it into a

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different language, but you chose to translate it into money

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right now. But God, what you're saying is not the money. It's

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that you're providing for me. Why? Because that I matter to

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you. Not that you're trying to keep me alive, Lord, because all

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my goodness, you've got to need, we got to hurry and fix it or

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she'll die. It's not that it's like, it's like child, I'm

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flowing towards you. I'm good. And so therefore, me being good,

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I'm going to be good to you, because that's who I am. Not

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because I'm trying to like, make sure that you're going to be

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taken care of. Because if I accidentally, you know, blink or

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turn to take care of someone else really quick, something bad

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can happen, you know, and so I've got to make sure to stay

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on top of it. It's not that it's God's like, this is me being me.

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I'm loving, I'm good, I provide. And that's what every time I

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click a button, and there's like four or five times I have to hit

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a button on the on the whole process in order to move to tell

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the thing I want it to move into my bank account. Every single

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time I tell the word of my spirit, spirit, Lord, I received

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this from you. Lord, I received this from you. So I'm always

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acknowledging that Lord, I'm receiving your provision, your

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protection, who you are, and how you are giving piece and parcel

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of yourself to me. Not Lord, thank you so much for sending me

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money because I really needed the money. Then I'm saying I'm

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using God like a genie. If the money that actually has any

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power whatsoever, and it doesn't. So I'm continuing to

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shift where I'm choosing that power, provision, whatever comes

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from in my life. I'm choosing that the reality of it is always

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God. So I'm making that shift from the tree of the knowledge

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of the navel to the tree of life. On purpose, I'm

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intentionally doing it. And then over time that sinks in so much

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that it becomes integrated, but I do it without thinking about

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it. But I'm intentional where I can be so that I'm I'm

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purposefully rewriting a new record so that it'll start

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happening subconsciously. Oh, you're you're muted.

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Okay, I'm muted. Sorry. So I told and I hear that. And I

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think that's great. I love that. And I'm wondering about because

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before when you did not, when you just accepted an offering

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from people, you were, I feel like if I did that, I could be

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more in that place of I'm just going to receive what comes in

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God's blessing me. That's great. In this way, whatever way.

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However, when I am charging a certain amount, like you are

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now, I feel like I'm taking away their provision. Now I can look

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at it like, well, God's going to provide for them in the beauty

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they're going to get from this program, the depth of healing

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and forward movement, freedom and all that. But there and I

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want to think about that more so we can talk about that. But I

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feel like this. Is it wrong that I'm charging a certain

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amount in a sense, not that it's good, bad, right or wrong. But

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sometimes I feel like I don't think it's wrong. But I've

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convinced myself. Yeah, like that. It's not okay as a

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Christian to be taking money from other Christians to do

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Christian work, you know, like, because that's also what I get

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accused of, oh, you're charging $37 for a VIP pass when God's

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love is free, right? Like, you get that sometimes. So I'm

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really kind of wrestling with that at the moment.

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So, um, so again, what I was saying is, what did it our

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mindset towards money, including the idea that, oh, it's their

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provision, I'm taking it is, again, based off of what we

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truly are believing about God.

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not how Christianity works, not what he expects of me,

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no, who he is, everything comes back to that.

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Remember that so much of what it is that I teach

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is me reminding everybody,

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hey, I know that what I'm talking about

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sounds completely disconnected from

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and irrelevant from the question,

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but actually that is the thing,

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is that that's the foundation is what is when I,

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okay, so let me rephrase it in a different way.

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I think that I started telling you something

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and I was headed towards telling you this,

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and then I thought of some other things

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and we headed off in that other direction

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where I told you about what it is that I do,

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when I go through the process of like PayPal or whatever,

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I'm always receiving it from the Lord.

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But the other thing is that what I started to say

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is that the more that I chose that God was my provider,

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the less important that money became to me.

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That's what I'm trying to say.

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And if it's not important, period,

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that's what I'm trying to say

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when I say it's not important to me,

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it's not important in reality.

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It's just, it's like not God is,

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and God can do anything without money.

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So therefore this whole money thing

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is not as important as we think that it is.

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And if it's not as important as we think that it is,

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you'll suddenly no longer have problems charging

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because it's not that big of a deal.

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Money isn't that big of a deal.

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It might be a big deal to them,

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but you know that in reality,

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the truth that God created the world to operate in,

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it's not that important.

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And this can't work by convincing yourself.

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It only works by actually starting to release all of that

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to the Lord and choosing,

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okay, money isn't providing for me.

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So when I'm getting money from my clients,

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that's not doing anything for me.

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It's not providing for me something

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that God couldn't have provided in some other way,

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or whatnot.

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And because remember that provision could simply mean

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that God is not just simply like,

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oh, well, instead of giving money,

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he's giving me the food.

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Provision can mean he just makes you not hungry.

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In other words, you don't need it,

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but you think that you do.

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So it's not even just translate,

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it's not holding onto a need and thinking,

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well, God might just meet that need in a various way.

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He might remove the need.

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So that's my point is that we're always provided for by God

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and always taken care of.

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And the more that we choose that in our own life

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and realizing that that is the reality,

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not that, oh, that's just the reality

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of the world in which I live.

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No, that's actual reality.

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Then we'll see money from other people in the same way.

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They might still struggle with it,

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but it's kind of similar to the idea of,

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well, we're Christians and we understand

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that Jesus died for us and how important it is and whatever.

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And then other people's lives are really hard

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because they don't believe it.

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And so they're angry and they're mad

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and they're taking drugs and they're doing this, that,

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and the other and you're going,

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I'm so sorry, if you only knew

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that this is how it could be, you know,

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but their life doesn't burden you as if,

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and you feel guilty because of how they're living their life

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and how they're seeing it and how they're taking drugs

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and how they're whatever.

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It's just like, well, sorry, if you only knew,

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it's that kind of a thing.

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It'll change your mindset on money, period,

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so that when you're receiving money from someone else,

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you don't feel like you're taking it

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because the only reason you feel that you are taking it

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is because you think it's important.

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It's their provision.

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They think it is,

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but if only if you think it is, will you feel guilty?

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If you realize, no, it's actually not,

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then you're not going to feel guilty.

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You're just going to wish that they knew what you knew

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and they're just going to choose, well, you know what?

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I'm not going to go with Alana's program

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because this money is more valuable for me

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than getting out of the pain that I'm in,

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or I'm going to try another route or whatever.

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And then you're just like, oh, okay.

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Why?

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Because that, and you feel bad and you're like,

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oh my word, if you only knew what you could have

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and if you only knew that what you could gain

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is absolutely worth that money

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and you think it's worth to you right now,

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if you only knew, but you don't feel guilty anymore.

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It's now because it changes your mindset

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towards money, period,

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not just how God's providing in your life,

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but you have to start with you first.

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If you don't start with you first,

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you're just trying to convince yourself.

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And you're just like, okay,

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I'm just trying to not feel guilty.

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I'm trying to not, I'm trying to tell myself,

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well, no, it's really that, you know,

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the labor is worth its wages.

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And God says this, and you're trying to find scripture

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and trying to make it all,

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there's nothing.

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with finding stuff in scripture, but trying to convince yourself without actually doing it in

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your own life, in your own relationship with the Lord, will just continue to exacerbate the problem

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and will, and because it's just a, it's a, it's a band-aid. Again, it's the whole convincing thing,

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but it's like, I know I should, but I don't actually believe it. I know I should believe

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it. I know what I know, but I don't feel it. It still doesn't feel right. So it's still not

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dealing with the whole feeling thing because the feeling thing is based off of what you truly

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believe. Right. Does that help a bit? Yeah. So when, so you, so you were able to say

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money is not important because God provides for me in lots of ways, and maybe money isn't the

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way he's going to provide for me this week or this month. Maybe it's going to be something

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totally different. And money's just one way he provides. So that in itself is not important

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because God, it's like, how much do I believe that God is going to provide for me is the most

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important question. And if I believe he's going to provide, it doesn't matter how it comes

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because we know it's going to come. So go ahead. No, go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say, and like

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really resting in belief in that, like deep down inside to truly know that, yes, like a hundred

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percent, I trust, I believe I rest in that truth. And so when it has to be a choice, it has to be

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faith. It can't be a feeling or all that. It has to be that actual intentional choice that God said,

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this is true. Therefore I'm going to choose that it's true. Right. You won't feel it. You won't

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believe it, but you're choosing that it's true. And then the feelings and the belief will come

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later. So it's an intentional decision that that, if God says that's reality, you're going to

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intentionally choose to give it the authority to be the reality in your life. So intentionally

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choose it first and then the belief, the faith will follow. That's interesting. Cause I've,

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I've mixed the two together and been like, I choose to believe.

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Oh yeah. Yeah. That'll make it harder. Okay. So here's the thing, faith and

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belief are the same thing. The reason why I keep trying to separate belief is because of

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what we associate with belief and what we think belief is. We've always associated belief with

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a feeling. If I feel this way, then that's how I know for myself. Oh, I really do believe it.

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And, and that isn't part of belief. That isn't real belief. That's not real faith,

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but we think that it is. So that's why I always try to just associate

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um, faith and choosing with a belief. And it's only because we we've had so much history and

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habit of associating the word belief with something else that you don't need. And then

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we're getting frustrated because we can't conjure up for ourselves when God is commanding us to

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have faith. And we get frustrated, like, well, what I'm trying, but it's not working. God,

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if you don't need this, this isn't belief anyway, but it's what you thought was belief.

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So that's why I just tried to separate them, but you're right. Belief and faith is the same thing,

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but what, what, what it is is faith is an intentional choice that something is true.

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And when you intentionally choose that something is true, according to God, you believe it,

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but not according to the world, according to the world, no belief is like this thing that just

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naturally comes up and it just naturally happens and it carries you away. And, and that's why we're

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always praying for something to happen to change us. And God's like, no, you have to, it's an

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intentional decision of your will. So anyway, if that, if that's helpful, otherwise it can get

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frustrating. Right? Like it's almost like an intent. So the way I look at it and you might

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word it differently, but I look at it as like, I'm intentionally choosing in my soul to believe

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to, to choose in my soul, but I choose to believe or come into agreement with, I often use the

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language, come into agreement with God's truth that he's providing everything I need. And when

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I come into agreement with his truth on that, cause he says it, and then I believe him and

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then I'm resting because I'm in that place of belief. And it's almost like bringing my soul.

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It's like the soul is the power driving force behind, you know, you know, if our flesh desires

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something, I feel like our soul is this like power driving force that can drive the fleshly desires

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forward, or we can bring our soul under the authority of the Holy spirit and more and more

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by coming into agreement. Right. That's how I would word it. You might say it differently.

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That's great. Yeah. I think of the soul as basically the decision maker, the gatekeeper

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to allow the spirit to, uh, and it will to have its way and for the, and for the soul and the body

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to follow the way of the spirit or to decide, Nope, I'm going to cut it off.

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off, I'm afraid. And then we're going to build our own little

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kingdom and try to do this on our own. So I always think that

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the soul is kind of like the gatekeeper, the decision maker

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that's choosing whether to come into alignment and agreement

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with the Lord or not.

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Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And that's, that's where like, in

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the Set Free Academy, we do a lot of deep subconscious work,

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because so many of our belief systems live deeply inside of us

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from when we were young. And we, it helps us be able to choose to

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bring our soul under the authority of the Holy Spirit.

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Otherwise, the soul keeps putting power behind fleshly

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desires, because we're letting it right. So I feel like there's

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this choice that we make. And, and so anyway, yeah, like, I, so

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for you, as you walked through this process of switching from

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not just taking an offering to actually saying, this is what I

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charge. And then because I've watched you go through the

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process, which has been really interesting from like someone

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looking in from the outside is, you know, first, it was an

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offering, and then it was an amount, then it was a higher

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amount, then it was a higher amount, then it was a higher

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amount, right? So what made you? What did you go through to

356
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engage in? Okay, I'm ready to charge more, like, what was your

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reasoning? And I'm super just curious for Yeah, I think you're

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I think you're totally worth it. By the way, I just need to say

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that. And I, and I I'm super curious, because I think it's

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such an interesting progression that you've gone through, if

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you're open to sharing.

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Yeah. And before we get into that, let me let me take

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something that we were talking about and go a bit deeper than

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that, because that is deeper on it, because it's very, very

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important distinction. And when we're talking about the Lord

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providing for us, like, oh, well, it, you know, he may not

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provide for me and many might provide in some other way. Money

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is not God's means of provision. It's not thinking I need a way

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to provide for them. So I'm going to send money, or I need a

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way to provide for them. So I'm going to send food, or I'm going

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to send clients. That is not God. God does not use money,

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business, ministry, clients, food, whatever, as a means of

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providing for us. Provision, remember, is a state and an

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environment, not a state, it's an environment in which we

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exist, in which we are always provided for, always protected.

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And so the money is simply an expression of an environment we

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always exist in. And so it's important that we don't because

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otherwise, we're still putting a an important and a what is it

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like an a power and authority or whatever, in money, in food,

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in something definitive, that we as if it still has it. And

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those are all things that are underneath that. They're so

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therefore they can't give us anything. We're the ones who

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bring something to it. We're the ones who bring life to them.

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They are not God's means of providing for something above

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them. So that's why it's important because otherwise,

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we'll still run into the same problem kind of like, how do you

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put it, when you've got pressure under something, and it's trying

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to bubble out, like, say, for instance, like under a balloon or

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something, it's trying to push out this way, if you push it

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down, the pressure has got to go somewhere. And so it's going to

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pop up somewhere else. I'm sure that you probably teach that in

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the set free Academy about like pain or, or stress or whatever.

393
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If you just use coping mechanisms, all it's going to do

394
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is it's going to shove it down in this area, but you're

395
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something else, you're going to start acting out in some other

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area, because the stress, the pressure has to go somewhere. So

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it's the same thing with this idea is we can try to say, Oh,

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well, you know, God, God may not provide for me in money, he

399
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might provide for you with the food, or he might provide it for

400
00:29:13.560 --> 00:29:16.560
me in the opportunity or might provide for me. No, none of

401
00:29:16.560 --> 00:29:19.720
those things are God's means of providing for you as a son of

402
00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:22.920
God or a new state of existence in which you are always

403
00:29:22.920 --> 00:29:26.520
provided for. It's almost like the this is how I wear it

404
00:29:26.520 --> 00:29:30.640
sometimes and picture it is you're like the child, you know,

405
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:37.520
the baby in the womb, surrounded by the ambionic fluid. That the

406
00:29:38.040 --> 00:29:41.400
provision and the protection is the ambionic fluid in which you

407
00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:47.120
are living. It is it provides for it provides certain things

408
00:29:47.280 --> 00:29:50.520
and protects the baby. You know, and it provides certain things

409
00:29:50.520 --> 00:29:52.640
for the baby. It's not just from what I understand just through

410
00:29:52.640 --> 00:29:54.680
the umbilical cord. It, you know, it doesn't. So it's a

411
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very limited picture, but it gives you an idea. It that's

412
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what provision and protection are.

413
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is they are an environment that God created for us to support us, the more

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important thing.

415
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And then, which is meaning like it's more important, the environment, we're

416
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more important, the environment, God set up the environment in order to protect

417
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us.

418
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Again, this is in the spirit.

419
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This is not, this is not an environment in which we're existing in the, in the

420
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world spirit.

421
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And so the money or whatever is God trying to get our attention and say, Hey,

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look, you look at money as an ability to, you see that through the principles

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that I've created on earth, money is recognized by people in such a way.

424
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And it recognized by other principles that I created that allows things to

425
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flow.

426
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So you understand that that's a language that you understand.

427
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You've been taught it in school.

428
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And so that's the language you understand.

429
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So I'm going to communicate with you in a language that you understand, but

430
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understand all I'm doing is I'm communicating a language to you.

431
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I'm not giving you the thing I'm communicating with you.

432
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That's what money is.

433
00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:03.240
Money is a communication.

434
00:31:03.360 --> 00:31:04.800
It's an expression from God.

435
00:31:04.840 --> 00:31:06.640
It's not actually providing for you.

436
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:09.720
It's not giving you something that's already happened in the spirit.

437
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And that's already happening in the spirit.

438
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You're never out of it.

439
00:31:13.120 --> 00:31:17.160
My point is that provision and protection are not things that are transacted to

440
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us.

441
00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:20.000
It's an environment in which we always exist.

442
00:31:20.280 --> 00:31:22.200
We're never in lack where we need it.

443
00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:25.640
You never need provision.

444
00:31:26.120 --> 00:31:27.760
You're always in it.

445
00:31:29.320 --> 00:31:29.680
Okay.

446
00:31:29.800 --> 00:31:32.600
So in a manner of speaking, you never need anything.

447
00:31:33.280 --> 00:31:36.360
You always have already have it provided for.

448
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:41.400
It's just that in, in the world, those things are just, there are things that

449
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:48.280
God uses in the world to express the fact that what you're needing is already

450
00:31:48.280 --> 00:31:53.640
happening and all, and you've never not, you've never needed it because it's

451
00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:54.960
always been provided for it.

452
00:31:55.320 --> 00:31:59.880
You know, so I know that that is very deep, but if someone can grab a hold of

453
00:31:59.880 --> 00:32:08.200
that, that is a huge, uh, a huge, um, what's the English word for it?

454
00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:12.040
Like differentiating factor that makes all of the difference.

455
00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:15.200
Otherwise just, just keeping that, Oh, well, God may not provide for it.

456
00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:17.200
And this means that he might provide it for another.

457
00:32:17.480 --> 00:32:20.920
You're, we're still naming things and we're giving this, we're giving things

458
00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:22.920
that are underneath us that need our life.

459
00:32:23.240 --> 00:32:26.800
We're giving them importance and we're elevating them above ourselves is that

460
00:32:26.800 --> 00:32:30.000
God would use those things to give us something that we're lacking.

461
00:32:30.600 --> 00:32:35.200
We can only have anything that we need provided for us by God.

462
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:39.480
And it's this state in which we exist in which we're never out of.

463
00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:40.920
So therefore we're never in lack.

464
00:32:41.280 --> 00:32:42.080
We always have.

465
00:32:42.080 --> 00:32:45.440
And therefore we always need, I know that it's very deep, but I

466
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:46.800
promise you that that's the time.

467
00:32:47.560 --> 00:32:52.160
No, it's actually, it makes so much sense because for me, ever since I

468
00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:58.600
was a baby, I learned that my needs were not going to be met.

469
00:32:58.600 --> 00:33:00.320
And I had to provide for myself.

470
00:33:01.400 --> 00:33:04.760
So it's interesting to like, cause you know, it's fun how

471
00:33:04.760 --> 00:33:06.080
he's always bringing us deeper.

472
00:33:06.080 --> 00:33:13.280
So for me, it's bringing, he's bringing me deeper into, I, there are, and I've

473
00:33:13.280 --> 00:33:18.640
noticed this, like there are still things I'm doing in my strength, like that.

474
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:21.720
There are times where Jesus takes the wheel and there are lots of

475
00:33:21.760 --> 00:33:25.760
times where I've been pondering this over the last several months is just.

476
00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:29.720
I'm like, wow, a couple of months ago, I realized, you know, a lot of times

477
00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:32.240
I'm Jesus and I are doing life together.

478
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:35.240
I'm holding his hand in the morning and I'm like, what are we going to do today?

479
00:33:35.520 --> 00:33:38.240
Except I'm driving and he's in the passenger seat.

480
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:39.440
Yeah.

481
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:42.240
And I, I'll offer you with me.

482
00:33:43.960 --> 00:33:44.680
You're with me.

483
00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:48.320
We're together, but I'm just going to take control here.

484
00:33:48.560 --> 00:33:50.720
And that's been my trauma response.

485
00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:51.640
It was controlling.

486
00:33:51.640 --> 00:33:56.680
And so it's been fun because I think, I don't think he ever stops bringing us

487
00:33:56.680 --> 00:33:58.520
into deeper measures of rest with him.

488
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:00.640
So this is the most recent one.

489
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:04.720
So I love that because I'm still looking at things outside

490
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:07.120
of me to provide what I need.

491
00:34:07.120 --> 00:34:09.400
So it's a good, it's a good shift of perspective.

492
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:10.360
So thank you.

493
00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:11.600
You're welcome.

494
00:34:11.600 --> 00:34:15.360
Because again, I just feel like, oh my word, if I just leave her with that,

495
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:19.080
well, then it's just like moving the stress to something else.

496
00:34:19.080 --> 00:34:21.480
And, and I was like, then it's not going to solve the problem.

497
00:34:21.800 --> 00:34:23.400
And let me go inside.

498
00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:25.639
And I think my husband was in there.

499
00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:28.880
We live in a studio apartment right now, and it is very

500
00:34:28.880 --> 00:34:30.639
hot and humid here in Dallas.

501
00:34:30.679 --> 00:34:32.040
You have that to look forward to.

502
00:34:32.600 --> 00:34:33.360
I've heard.

503
00:34:35.560 --> 00:34:36.639
Oh, very nice.

504
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:37.400
Yeah.

505
00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:43.760
And everybody around has a pool except my, my, uh, uh, the people we live with.

506
00:34:44.199 --> 00:34:47.880
Not the people we live with the people we rent an apartment from, which I'm fine

507
00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:53.719
with because, um, my goodness, a pool sure would be a lot of, um, I always

508
00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:55.360
thought it will be a lot of maintenance.

509
00:34:56.080 --> 00:34:56.880
You just need a pool.

510
00:34:56.880 --> 00:34:59.200
You can visit someone else does the maintenance.

511
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:08.820
Exactly see that's why we all need rich friends or whatever we need whoops we need people and that was a that was a joke from a from a.

512
00:35:10.140 --> 00:35:18.540
sitcom or he said you need the friends with the pool friends with I don't know in the whatever he goes on this full list and.

513
00:35:19.700 --> 00:35:25.260
will do all this stuff and okay so sorry, I have my.

514
00:35:26.200 --> 00:35:45.780
My husband obviously has a gets hotter than I am hotter than I do, and so I have to turn down the and the fan let's see if I can get this to stand on so back to the question that you were asking me earlier before I got sorry about all of this, see if I can get.

515
00:35:48.300 --> 00:35:53.380
up now and that's the question as far as like what I used to do.

516
00:35:56.180 --> 00:35:59.700
My phone's not going to fall down okay is um.

517
00:36:02.780 --> 00:36:11.260
So i'll just start because i'm not really sure what i've already told you versus what I haven't that so basically what I did is and.

518
00:36:12.260 --> 00:36:21.860
You know, I have a commitment jester and the whole point of that wasn't been paying me the point of it was, and I would walk them through that you remember.

519
00:36:22.660 --> 00:36:32.340
And that hey, this is your commitment to this is that this is a money expression of the spiritual commitment you're making to reward.

520
00:36:32.340 --> 00:36:43.860
You know your or your soul or whatever, in order to get your soul's attention that you're this serious so that when the going gets tough you remember oh yeah, this is how badly I want it, you have a quantitative amount.

521
00:36:44.380 --> 00:36:57.140
or number that you can associate with your determination or whatnot because otherwise you know that the determination or go up and down or the the amount of the amount of pain ebbs and flows and they're like.

522
00:36:57.140 --> 00:37:02.380
You know i'm or i'm doing great and oh no i'm not oh i'm doing great again so maybe I don't need it.

523
00:37:03.340 --> 00:37:12.780
And so they needed a specific amount in order to invest in them, because if I was also going to invest in them to the degree that I was three that I do.

524
00:37:13.340 --> 00:37:24.260
I need them to be more invested in them at least equal if not more invested in themselves than I am otherwise I get burned out and it's something that I sense.

525
00:37:24.460 --> 00:37:32.820
And it's something that I sense it's something it's something that I just kind of sense that Okay, this is not.

526
00:37:33.460 --> 00:37:44.820
This is no longer as important to them as it is to me, and then I just start it I can hang on for a little bit but i've been done it for so long now, meaning like so intensely of with so many people.

527
00:37:45.180 --> 00:37:56.460
I mean three four years three almost four years now it doesn't seem like that long, but with the amount of intensity and the number of people it's been you know it's been quite a bit.

528
00:37:57.100 --> 00:38:12.300
And anyway, so I did it then like I told you that people were paying me hundreds even thousands, then you know, for the program, you know, to be part of the program is this their commitment jester.

529
00:38:13.020 --> 00:38:20.780
But then everything changed to like 70 to $100 and I do mean everyone and i'm like okay something Lord is different.

530
00:38:21.420 --> 00:38:31.980
To go from me having conversations with people to help them understand the commitment jester to now between 70 to 100 and some people were lower than that i've had people do $5.

531
00:38:33.020 --> 00:38:39.700
i've had people do to will find it was $5 for a program that was back when I did my all of my not program.

532
00:38:40.620 --> 00:38:48.180
My teaching module and my teaching series all of that when I used to do those for commitment justice as well.

533
00:38:48.540 --> 00:38:55.020
That I had said the lowest amount i've had someone pay for that is by the lowest amount that i've had them pay for conferences, the dollar.

534
00:38:55.540 --> 00:39:05.500
And then I think the lowest amount that i've had someone pay for rest intensive is $2 and 22 cents they were very specific about and.

535
00:39:05.500 --> 00:39:15.220
But, but because I invested in those people in that particular way they were so, and they were so changed, they have come back and since.

536
00:39:15.700 --> 00:39:27.580
sewn in more in their commitment to continue their their journey, and so now they paid in hundreds, you know because they now realize Oh, my goodness is very important.

537
00:39:27.700 --> 00:39:33.940
i'm now at a different part of my life in this, and so now they're making that that investment, a different different level.

538
00:39:34.660 --> 00:39:43.500
So that's what started, but I changed when everything fell off when everything was hitting the hundred to $70 so I asked the Lord.

539
00:39:43.940 --> 00:39:53.500
Lord what's going on is it that i'm not explaining it well enough is it that the grace is lifted in me doing this at all.

540
00:39:53.500 --> 00:40:00.140
In me doing this at all is it that I need to restructure how I do the.

541
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.440
program and what I offer, it's no longer valuable to people or

542
00:40:04.460 --> 00:40:09.600
their, or I need to, I, is it how I express it, Lord, in my

543
00:40:09.600 --> 00:40:15.080
marketing? Um, you know, Lord, what's changed? Because all I

544
00:40:15.080 --> 00:40:18.160
thought, Lord, everything is the same. And then all that everything

545
00:40:18.160 --> 00:40:22.440
is now responding very different. So what area, Lord,

546
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:26.600
are you wanting me to address? Is it something in me? And or

547
00:40:26.600 --> 00:40:32.720
whatnot. And so I went, I felt that it was the money. Like,

548
00:40:32.720 --> 00:40:36.000
well, maybe I should start and change a specific amount. And so

549
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:39.120
here telling you this, it sounds like it was no big deal. It was

550
00:40:39.120 --> 00:40:46.200
a very big deal. I felt guilty, it felt wrong. I just I just

551
00:40:46.200 --> 00:40:52.800
struggled to, to do this from my, from my relationship with

552
00:40:52.800 --> 00:41:00.000
the Lord, to, and, and struggled not doing it, because I was

553
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:05.600
just, how would you put that? Um, that I was just scared. And

554
00:41:05.600 --> 00:41:09.160
I was trying to take things into my own hands. You know, I wanted

555
00:41:09.160 --> 00:41:11.320
to, I wanted to make sure that this was the Lord that was

556
00:41:11.320 --> 00:41:14.600
wanting me to do it. But I just couldn't, I was just convincing.

557
00:41:14.680 --> 00:41:19.520
I was working to make sure that he was telling me versus I was

558
00:41:19.520 --> 00:41:24.360
just convincing myself by finding the right scriptures by

559
00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:27.600
finding, you know, labor's worth its wages, whatever. So I really

560
00:41:27.600 --> 00:41:30.880
went through it. I mean, it was all kinds of confusing. And so

561
00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:35.280
finally, I just thought, you know what, I, I'm going to try

562
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:39.560
it. Because I can't figure out and it took a long time. I don't

563
00:41:39.560 --> 00:41:42.880
remember how long that this journey took of me like

564
00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:46.320
questioning and wondering what I should do and whatever. I don't

565
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:50.000
remember how long it took, but it took a while. Like, I don't

566
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:52.960
know if you remember, but even in the conference in March of

567
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:58.080
20, March of 2021, even that was a commitment jester. I don't

568
00:41:58.080 --> 00:42:00.240
think anybody had ever heard anything like that before, you

569
00:42:00.240 --> 00:42:04.400
know, and even all of that was a commitment jester and people

570
00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:07.520
paid hundreds. Some of these people didn't know me. In fact,

571
00:42:07.520 --> 00:42:11.840
most of the people didn't know. And they paid hundreds because

572
00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:18.240
they understood that the grace lifted after that. And so like

573
00:42:18.240 --> 00:42:23.280
I said, that's what happened. I just looked for Lord, where does

574
00:42:23.280 --> 00:42:26.840
there need to be a shift? Is it in me? Is it in how I'm

575
00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:29.000
approaching it? Am I not approaching it in spirit

576
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.480
anymore? Meaning like the program? Lord, am I doing this

577
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:35.080
out of my flesh? Lord, are you trying to get my attention that

578
00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:38.400
and that things are imbalanced because of how it's structured

579
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:40.040
and you structure it differently. In other words,

580
00:42:40.040 --> 00:42:43.320
what I'm offering of my time, or the types of things that I'm

581
00:42:43.320 --> 00:42:48.760
teaching people, or is it Lord the money? So what is it? And

582
00:42:49.240 --> 00:42:52.080
anyway, so that's what I did. And I do that every time that

583
00:42:52.080 --> 00:42:55.360
I've, I've increased it, it's always been based off of

584
00:42:55.840 --> 00:42:59.800
something's gotten my attention. And usually, and this is just me

585
00:42:59.800 --> 00:43:02.840
being transparent with you, because I don't like to, I don't

586
00:43:02.840 --> 00:43:07.720
like to have a kind of like business where I'm like hiding

587
00:43:07.720 --> 00:43:11.240
from people what it is that you know, people that that, you

588
00:43:11.240 --> 00:43:13.800
know, I work with, what it is that I'm doing in the

589
00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:16.560
background to making it like this magic thing that happens

590
00:43:16.560 --> 00:43:18.480
behind the curtain, I make everything look pretty on the

591
00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:22.840
outside, no, inside, I'm, what's happening behind the curtain is

592
00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:28.320
I'm getting burnt out. And I'm like, and I love what I do. And

593
00:43:28.320 --> 00:43:33.080
I'm like, Lord, why am I getting burnt out over something I love?

594
00:43:33.520 --> 00:43:38.040
My husband watches it, I come alive, when I'm in the middle of

595
00:43:38.040 --> 00:43:44.320
a program. And but if I'm not careful, during certain parts of

596
00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:50.400
the program, I will start, I will dread it. I will dread the

597
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:54.360
call. I'll dread the one on one, I'll dread the whatever. And

598
00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:57.800
like, okay, something's wrong. Because as soon as as soon as I

599
00:43:57.800 --> 00:44:02.360
get on with them, I come alive again. But I dread it before.

600
00:44:02.360 --> 00:44:05.560
And then sometimes I crash afterwards, not always a lot of

601
00:44:05.560 --> 00:44:09.440
times I'm floating on a high afterwards. You know, even if I

602
00:44:09.440 --> 00:44:14.440
was like dreading it, getting into it. So my point is that I

603
00:44:14.440 --> 00:44:18.000
love what I do. But if I'm loving what I do, and I'm and

604
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:21.480
I'm burning out, and I'm dreading getting on a call with

605
00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:26.480
so and so or I'm dreading like getting on the teaching. Why?

606
00:44:26.480 --> 00:44:30.280
Because even when I'm in it, I'm loving it. What is going on? So

607
00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:33.200
that gets my attention and lets me know that something's out of

608
00:44:33.200 --> 00:44:37.960
alignment lets me know that I'm investing in more than I feel

609
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:43.560
like, that that I'm alone. I'm alone in the investment. I'm all

610
00:44:43.560 --> 00:44:48.240
out there. And they're not meeting me there. And they're not

611
00:44:48.240 --> 00:44:50.960
changing, or they're not changing fast enough, or they're

612
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:54.960
not whatever. And that gets my attention. So I then asked,

613
00:44:54.960 --> 00:44:57.480
Lord, Lord, is it the money? Is it the amount of time that I'm

614
00:44:57.480 --> 00:45:00.040
offering of myself? It's just is

615
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.000
Is, am I being too inconvenienced in my schedule?

616
00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:11.000
And that's what's burning it out is it's touching other areas of my life that are very precious to me.

617
00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:25.000
And, and I'm letting this in my husband will watch this and it really bothers him he said actually I've watched when you do a program he said it completely takes you over completely you work on it from Senate to send down.

618
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.000
Is that until late at night.

619
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:33.000
And I've sometimes pulled in a few all nighters.

620
00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:47.000
Not because I had to be just like I'm just loving I'm enjoying what I'm doing, but I'm getting but anyway the point is he's like actually you get so immersed in it, that it's just a very unhealthy balance so I'm trying to, you know, figure out, you

621
00:45:47.000 --> 00:46:01.000
know, how to, how to do a bit differently so anyway those are some of the triggers. Those are some of the things that I'm noticing that get my attention that there's an imbalance but then I always have to check yeah but where's the imbalance.

622
00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:11.000
Is it in the money or is it somewhere else. But if I thought that, so I just kind of like feel it out. I kind of put my feelings I kind of like bring each one to the forefront.

623
00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:17.000
How does my soul feel about this one. How does my spirit feel about this one.

624
00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:26.000
And you know and then I'll put that one back okay well what about the time, you know, or I'll put it down well what about the structure, so that what about the money.

625
00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:34.000
And so anyway, like I had moved to my one on one set to 275.

626
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:44.000
And, and, and I put that out there. I was like okay that's what I'm thinking, and it took me a while to land on that number.

627
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:46.000
But I put it out there.

628
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:58.000
And I and I still didn't feel good about it. I was like there's something that's not the right number. And so about a week later, I'm changed it to 250, because that's that because that's the number that kept popping into my head.

629
00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:00.000
Okay, it's 250.

630
00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:15.000
So, anyway, but when I did, when I did my last, when I did a rest intensive program back in October, I had bumped up my, the last time I done a rest intensive prior to that was $200.

631
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.000
I bumped it up to 1000.

632
00:47:17.000 --> 00:47:20.000
So I did a five times increase.

633
00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:33.000
And anyway, so, and but my friend who did the $200 one. She was shocked because she said actually I, I told you I was going to join it.

634
00:47:33.000 --> 00:47:36.000
And I thought it was 2000.

635
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:40.000
I didn't know it was only 200, why are you only charging 200.

636
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:54.000
And anyway, so I eventually and it took me about a year, but I increased it to 1000. And then I think that the next time I started up in August or September it's going to be more than that.

637
00:47:55.000 --> 00:48:14.000
I toyed with 2000, toyed with, we'll just see. And that, anyway, the thing is I think that there's still work in me that needs to be done before I can know what it is that I'm offering and how much money that needs to be, meaning like how much the Lord my spirit

638
00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:29.000
told me that needs to be. And, but that all has to be based off of how I change and what he teaches me because that's going to influence what it is that the next rest intensive program looks like is who am I at the end of the summer.

639
00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:44.000
And that's what the rest intensive will be.

640
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:49.000
What it's going to be structured like is it can be six weeks is again something else I don't know that.

641
00:48:50.000 --> 00:49:17.000
Okay, well thank you for sharing that I appreciate just knowing your process and, and I hear that and I think, you know, you really went to the Lord which is great and I feel like, you know, I've gone to him and I've recently I left it on a voicemail I recently have realized how much more forward movement the ladies get from the program the second tier program where they're getting eight calls a month instead of one a month.

642
00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:24.000
The ones who get one a month they're trying to get the cheaper price, but they're not getting the support.

643
00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:26.000
One a month.

644
00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:39.000
I'm sorry what's one a month. The one call a month is the one program the 19 the lower tier. Yeah, so I feel like the Lord is inviting me into

645
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:55.000
releasing that lower tier for a little bit, and just offering the higher tier because the value is phenomenal. You're getting eight calls a month they can come on instead of one one hour call in the month to touch base and do you know a deeper activity.

646
00:49:55.000 --> 00:50:00.000
They're getting eight a month and I never actually chose to create the, the lower end.

647
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.440
program from my personal choice. It was because somebody else was gonna run it and I created it

648
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:11.200
and then I let them go because it was misaligned, right? And so I feel like the Lord's given me

649
00:50:11.840 --> 00:50:15.920
some release on that one right now. I don't know if I'll bring it back but right now I would like

650
00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:22.560
to take a pause on it. And really my sweet spot is serving the women consistently, walking with

651
00:50:22.560 --> 00:50:29.120
them, seeing them every week because then I can kind of help them when they're struggling, you

652
00:50:29.120 --> 00:50:37.760
know? And so I feel peace about that but where I'm struggling the most is when people invest. I

653
00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:41.600
don't know how you would deal with this. You might do like a paid in full option. Your program's not

654
00:50:41.600 --> 00:50:46.320
as long but if you had a one-year program and people were paying in payments and then all of

655
00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:51.360
a sudden you're getting all these messages that somebody can't pay because this reason or that

656
00:50:51.360 --> 00:50:58.320
reason or another reason. It's like I don't like dealing with money conversations like that because

657
00:50:58.880 --> 00:51:05.120
to me it's like a lack of diligence, a lack of commitment, like some of these things and

658
00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:13.120
prioritizing stuff. If there's multiple bills, yes and then one of them is their

659
00:51:13.840 --> 00:51:20.160
their car or that's a bad example but I'm just trying to give an example. They don't know the person

660
00:51:20.160 --> 00:51:25.760
to call for their car but they personally know you and it's pulling on a personal understanding

661
00:51:25.840 --> 00:51:31.840
and pulling on a personal relationship which is why I try to refer to my business now as a

662
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:37.040
business not a ministry. So now people don't deal, I don't deal with the same issues that you do

663
00:51:37.040 --> 00:51:43.360
because I don't and the only time I have is the once or twice that I've allowed someone to give

664
00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:50.080
me two payments instead of one. I've only done that I think maybe once and sure enough it bombed

665
00:51:50.080 --> 00:51:56.720
out, they canceled, they can't and I'm like I'm not doing that again. So I do not charge monthly

666
00:51:56.720 --> 00:52:01.040
because I'm afraid that that's going to happen. Now I've actually twirled around with the idea

667
00:52:01.040 --> 00:52:06.320
about like doing it and doing the whole monthly thing but my point is they're pulling on that

668
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:11.360
pulling on that relationship. Yeah and but I guess I don't know how to deal with it because

669
00:52:12.160 --> 00:52:17.200
I feel like you're right. They know they can contact me, they want me to be understanding

670
00:52:17.200 --> 00:52:21.520
and my husband said the same thing. He's like it's a business. Yes you have a ministry that

671
00:52:21.520 --> 00:52:26.960
you're doing for the Lord but it's a business and I'm just not sure how to operate in rest

672
00:52:26.960 --> 00:52:33.280
and at the same time deal with what I'm seeing coming up in people when they're

673
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:38.480
choosing these things and they've made a commitment, they've signed an agreement

674
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:45.040
and they still are like oh I can't pay, oh I'm sick, I'll pay you in a few days. It's

675
00:52:45.040 --> 00:52:49.440
supposed to be automatic but sometimes their cards are expired and I'm the one dealing with

676
00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:55.120
a lot of this stuff. Correct. And I just I don't want to be dealing with it but I get to deal with

677
00:52:55.120 --> 00:53:02.720
it as part of what I do and so at the moment it's on me and I'm just I'm not sure how to navigate it

678
00:53:02.720 --> 00:53:11.200
in rest. Yeah well before I mention that I'll mention this one thing really quick. What's

679
00:53:11.200 --> 00:53:16.400
helpful in situations like that to be able to hold your ground is to give them a choice.

680
00:53:17.200 --> 00:53:21.200
So come up with something because people love choices because it makes them fall in control.

681
00:53:21.200 --> 00:53:26.320
So as opposed to them paying or not paying and that's the choice. See if there's some other

682
00:53:26.320 --> 00:53:30.880
thing that you can give them and you know it already and then so every time someone brings

683
00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:39.360
you an excuse that's your offer is they've got one they've got a choice to either to pay you

684
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:48.080
or to do this and this could be pay you tomorrow or it could be pay or it could be

685
00:53:50.080 --> 00:53:55.440
I don't know what it would be but the point is where that they're actually always meeting your

686
00:53:55.440 --> 00:54:00.000
commitment they just choose how they get a choice as to how they're going to meet the commitment.

687
00:54:00.720 --> 00:54:07.120
Their commitment that they made you always get your money but they get to choose how it happens

688
00:54:07.760 --> 00:54:12.400
and you'd be like but it always protects you and I'm not talking about oh do a double payment next

689
00:54:12.400 --> 00:54:18.560
month that will not work. We're talking about like making it making that you get a choice of

690
00:54:18.560 --> 00:54:28.320
doing it now or you get a choice of doing it and I don't know I'm just making this up tomorrow but

691
00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:36.480
if you do it tomorrow the payment is going to come out a day early next month or something.

692
00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:40.000
I'm totally making all this that just off the fly that's probably a horrible idea.

693
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:44.960
My point is do you see how there's how there's wiggle room and it makes them feel like they've

694
00:54:44.960 --> 00:54:51.280
got they that you're working with them but really they also know know there's always that commitment

695
00:54:51.280 --> 00:54:56.800
and you are holding a firm boundary and that's going to help them not only respect you it's

696
00:54:56.800 --> 00:54:59.760
going to help them be more diligent going forward and

697
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.000
taking the program seriously.

698
00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:04.000
Yeah, I like that.

699
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:06.000
That's one of the problems.

700
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:08.000
Yeah, I'm not,

701
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:10.000
I like that idea. I'm just not sure

702
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:12.000
what to offer

703
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:14.000
as a choice. I don't know either.

704
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:16.000
I was just throwing that out. So, I was just

705
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:18.000
telling you, according to human psychology,

706
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:20.000
that works really well, as if

707
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:22.000
someone, it's like a child,

708
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:24.000
they think they're getting a choice.

709
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:26.000
You can sit here and

710
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:28.000
eat this, or

711
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:30.000
you can

712
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:32.000
go start getting ready for bed.

713
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:34.000
So, if you don't want to eat it,

714
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:36.000
I won't,

715
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:38.000
you don't have to, but you are going to have to

716
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:40.000
go get ready for bed right now, because this is what

717
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:42.000
we're doing, or, I don't know, whatever.

718
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:44.000
So, you're giving them a choice,

719
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:46.000
and they have a choice. Which one do they

720
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:48.000
want to live with? And so, it makes them feel

721
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:50.000
more powerful, makes them feel like, okay,

722
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:52.000
well, I get to choose what I want to live with,

723
00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:54.000
but at the same time, you're still

724
00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:56.000
holding a firm boundary

725
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:58.000
as a parent, or, you know, as a whatever.

726
00:55:58.000 --> 00:56:00.000
So, I don't know what it would be. I'm just telling

727
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:02.000
you that it's human psychology that can help,

728
00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:04.000
because I've thought about that for myself.

729
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:06.000
Like, because it's going to come up.

730
00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:08.000
If I ever do a monthly thing,

731
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:10.000
it's going to come up, and I don't want to deal

732
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:12.000
with it. That's why I would rather

733
00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:14.000
thus far have fewer clients

734
00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:16.000
based off of who can pay

735
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:18.000
in full, versus dealing

736
00:56:18.000 --> 00:56:20.000
with that each month.

737
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:22.000
I would rather do that.

738
00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:24.000
Yeah, I would rather do that. Also,

739
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:26.000
that plays a part in

740
00:56:26.000 --> 00:56:28.000
the

741
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:30.000
fact that in raising my prices,

742
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:32.000
I would rather have more of my

743
00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:34.000
time back by making

744
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:36.000
this and having the same amount of money

745
00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:38.000
and less clients.

746
00:56:38.000 --> 00:56:40.000
Even though I want to help lots of people,

747
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:42.000
if that balance

748
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:44.000
is off, it's just not worth it

749
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:46.000
anymore. So, for instance, you know,

750
00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:48.000
you mentioning, hey, you know, if you're

751
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:50.000
going to increase your price, that's perfectly fine,

752
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:52.000
but we'll do it every other month. I'm like, that's fine.

753
00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:54.000
Because

754
00:56:54.000 --> 00:56:56.000
even though I'm loving being,

755
00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:58.000
enjoying pouring into

756
00:56:58.000 --> 00:57:00.000
the ladies and feel honored to be part of it,

757
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:02.000
it is worth it to me with the amount

758
00:57:02.000 --> 00:57:04.000
of time that I like to spend doing all kinds

759
00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:06.000
of other things that I get to.

760
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:08.000
I get to

761
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:10.000
be part of the group by

762
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:12.000
pouring into them. I get that opportunity,

763
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:14.000
but

764
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:16.000
I'm making almost the same amount

765
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:18.000
of money. It's honestly a bit less,

766
00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:20.000
but the same amount of money

767
00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:22.000
doing it once and

768
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:24.000
not doing it twice.

769
00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:26.000
So that other time of that other month,

770
00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:28.000
I can do something else. I can take another

771
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:30.000
one-on-one call. I can,

772
00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:32.000
I don't know, do something

773
00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:34.000
with my husband. I can whatever.

774
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:36.000
This is me being very transparent.

775
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:38.000
Trust me, I love being, joining

776
00:57:38.000 --> 00:57:40.000
your group and all of that. I'm just saying

777
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:42.000
that I'm trying to find a balance

778
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:44.000
for me because when I'm in

779
00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:46.000
those sessions, those 90-minute sessions,

780
00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:48.000
I am

781
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:50.000
pouring out me.

782
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:52.000
I am like literally

783
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:54.000
pouring myself out. And so

784
00:57:54.000 --> 00:57:56.000
it's not work,

785
00:57:56.000 --> 00:57:58.000
but it is work.

786
00:57:58.000 --> 00:58:00.000
It's doing something there that

787
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:02.000
I could have been doing something else. Yeah, I could have been sitting

788
00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:04.000
on the couch knitting and watching television show

789
00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:06.000
or whatever. It's pouring myself

790
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:08.000
out. So anyway, the reason

791
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:10.000
that I'm being this transparent and honest with

792
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:12.000
you is that you can understand

793
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:14.000
these questions that you have going through your

794
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:16.000
head, I have them too.

795
00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:18.000
The ones in the decisions

796
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:20.000
you're trying to make, I make those too.

797
00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:22.000
It is worth it to me to have

798
00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:24.000
fewer meetings

799
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:26.000
and just as much, if not just a little

800
00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:28.000
less money because quite honestly, it is less

801
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:30.000
money. And less money,

802
00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:32.000
it's totally worth that to me.

803
00:58:32.000 --> 00:58:34.000
It's totally worth for me having

804
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:36.000
fewer clients,

805
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:38.000
but more money or

806
00:58:38.000 --> 00:58:40.000
being with them like less. But again,

807
00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:42.000
you know me, you and

808
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:44.000
I are the same way. What

809
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:46.000
we actually,

810
00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:48.000
what feeds us

811
00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:50.000
rewards us is

812
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:52.000
the outcome. Are people being

813
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:54.000
changed? So you and I are always working towards

814
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:56.000
what is the most powerful and effective

815
00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:58.000
way to help someone?

816
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:00.000
Well, the most powerful and effective way to help someone

817
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:02.000
will be to live with them. Are you and

818
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:04.000
I going to do that? No. So my

819
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:06.000
point is there's a boundary.

820
00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:08.000
There's a balance that you're

821
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:10.000
trying to find. So yes,

822
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:12.000
it's fewer times with someone,

823
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:14.000
but I try to make them as effective as

824
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.000
possible. So you're trying to find

825
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:18.000
your balance with all those things.

826
00:59:18.000 --> 00:59:20.000
So anyway, I think that there was one more question

827
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:22.000
you'd asked me that I've gotten way off topic

828
00:59:22.000 --> 00:59:24.000
about. So was there a question?

829
00:59:24.000 --> 00:59:26.000
I think it's like around

830
00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:28.000
how do I rest when

831
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:30.000
people

832
00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:32.000
are not, like it's almost this

833
00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:34.000
I don't need their money.

834
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:36.000
However, they have made a commitment and

835
00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:38.000
now they're out of integrity with their commitment.

836
00:59:38.000 --> 00:59:40.000
And it's not

837
00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:42.000
a place of judgment, but it's really coming from

838
00:59:42.000 --> 00:59:44.000
a place of calling them forward into

839
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:46.000
keeping their word,

840
00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:48.000
let their yes be yes, their no be no,

841
00:59:48.000 --> 00:59:50.000
like staying in integrity, being diligent,

842
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:52.000
being committed, right? And that's where

843
00:59:52.000 --> 00:59:54.000
I'm struggling with it.

844
00:59:54.000 --> 00:59:56.000
So again, remember that the money

845
00:59:56.000 --> 00:59:58.000
isn't you. The money is their

846
00:59:58.000 --> 01:00:00.000
investment in themselves.

847
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.160
And so there's now an imbalance of you're being willing to always show up and now they're not

848
01:00:06.160 --> 01:00:13.680
showing up. You're always showing up with those eight 90-minute sessions and now all of a sudden

849
01:00:14.320 --> 01:00:19.600
they're not showing up. So you're pouring more into something that you can't control.

850
01:00:20.160 --> 01:00:24.480
You are pouring into their life but they're not pouring into their life. And you're like,

851
01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:30.320
no, no, no. Your life isn't mine. That's yours. So I'm telling you how you perceive it on your

852
01:00:30.320 --> 01:00:34.160
side. I'm not saying you say all of these things so then you can talk about their investment in

853
01:00:34.160 --> 01:00:42.320
themselves, et cetera. But what I'm saying, all that other stuff is just for you. That's how I

854
01:00:42.320 --> 01:00:47.440
view it is it's like, no, this is what you're doing for you. I just have this program sitting

855
01:00:47.440 --> 01:00:54.480
over here. You are welcome to join but in order to join, you have to make all of the effort to

856
01:00:54.480 --> 01:01:00.880
join. I'm not going to chase you. You have to make all the effort to join. And in order to stay and

857
01:01:00.880 --> 01:01:06.800
in order to have been in the program at all, you had to make this commitment that this is what

858
01:01:06.800 --> 01:01:12.960
you're choosing to do with your life. I'm just the grocery store where you get the supplies

859
01:01:13.840 --> 01:01:21.200
but I'm not making it happen in your life. So if you want to continue to pull from the supplies,

860
01:01:22.160 --> 01:01:29.040
that is you owning your own life and making the payment. This is something you're doing for you.

861
01:01:29.040 --> 01:01:34.320
If you no longer want to do it for you, well, that's your choice. Now, I understand, you know,

862
01:01:34.320 --> 01:01:39.040
I mean, they've made a commitment to stay through the rest of the year, not cancel and whatever.

863
01:01:39.440 --> 01:01:47.280
What I've actually thought about is if I did a monthly, I've thought about if they ever don't

864
01:01:47.280 --> 01:01:52.960
pay or if they ever decide to cancel partway through it because they run into like so many

865
01:01:52.960 --> 01:01:57.680
issue, like sure, you no longer have to keep paying. You can pull out of the program early

866
01:01:59.040 --> 01:02:05.040
but there is a cancellation fee and the cancellation fee is an extra month.

867
01:02:05.920 --> 01:02:11.280
So in other words, it's the next month's payment. So that's perfectly fine but there you do have to

868
01:02:11.280 --> 01:02:20.000
pay a whole month's whatever. So it lets people out, so it's incentivizes them to join the month,

869
01:02:21.120 --> 01:02:26.480
to join the program because they only have smaller amounts as opposed to the larger amount that

870
01:02:26.480 --> 01:02:33.840
they'd have to pay which I've been, I'd planned in on making that cheaper than doing the monthly.

871
01:02:34.640 --> 01:02:39.840
So if they pay in full, it's cheaper than if they pay, you know, partial. Like for instance,

872
01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:45.600
I follow a couple that say that if they had their 12-month program is only pay,

873
01:02:45.600 --> 01:02:50.960
you only have to pay 10 months if you pay in full. Exactly. That's what mine is. Yeah. And so anyway,

874
01:02:50.960 --> 01:02:54.720
so there's that, but I thought about, okay, well, having a cancellation fee and again,

875
01:02:54.720 --> 01:02:59.200
it's in the agreement that, which I currently don't have agreement because I've never had,

876
01:02:59.200 --> 01:03:04.080
you know, any, I used to always structure things in such a way as to not have to have an agreement

877
01:03:04.080 --> 01:03:09.520
and to have a whatever and, but anyway, so I might have to change all of that. The point is

878
01:03:09.520 --> 01:03:13.920
that I thought about, you know, well, there's a cancellation fee and it's significant.

879
01:03:13.920 --> 01:03:21.600
It's like a whole month's payment is the cancellation fee so that it keeps,

880
01:03:21.600 --> 01:03:25.600
it incentivizes people that, hey, you can have, I have monthly reoccurring income,

881
01:03:26.160 --> 01:03:29.920
you know, so there's, there's monthly amount that they pay. It incentivizes people to join

882
01:03:29.920 --> 01:03:33.680
because they have a smaller amount that they're, they're not having to have this huge amount out

883
01:03:33.680 --> 01:03:40.800
of pocket, the smaller amount, but I want to incentivize people to stay and there's that

884
01:03:40.800 --> 01:03:50.640
cancellation fee. And yeah, you know, but I haven't figured out the whole avoiding the late payment

885
01:03:50.640 --> 01:03:58.800
thing because again, I don't want to deal with it. I just don't. And maybe one of the things I

886
01:03:58.800 --> 01:04:05.360
could say is that, Hey, the only way that you can do it a monthly is your can't ever be late.

887
01:04:05.360 --> 01:04:12.160
And if you are late, you have to pay your net. If you're late by a day or something,

888
01:04:12.160 --> 01:04:18.960
then you either, you have to pay your next month or that considers you canceled out of the program

889
01:04:19.040 --> 01:04:26.320
and you're, I'm very serious. I am too. That's the thing. I don't want to play around. It's I've

890
01:04:26.320 --> 01:04:32.080
got my own time is too valuable. I don't want the same way. I'm like, I am, this is flipping

891
01:04:33.600 --> 01:04:39.200
right. Sorry. I cut you off. What were you saying? No, I just said it's not worth it to me. Go ahead.

892
01:04:39.760 --> 01:04:46.320
No, I was saying the same thing. Like I, I think I tried to downplay myself because I am

893
01:04:47.040 --> 01:04:54.800
like deadly serious about this. This is a matter of life or death. And I honestly, this intensive

894
01:04:54.800 --> 01:04:59.920
that's going on this week is the first time that I've ever really honed in on that and said,

895
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.200
Ladies you're here right now and this is serious. This is way bigger than just

896
01:05:06.200 --> 01:05:11.680
attending a conference and learning more about God. This is deep work and the

897
01:05:11.680 --> 01:05:16.320
spiritual impact, the eternal impact that we make when we are truly aligned with

898
01:05:16.320 --> 01:05:22.360
God is so different and we're here to, you know, the Great Commission, we're

899
01:05:22.360 --> 01:05:25.960
here to help others understand more about God's love, especially in this

900
01:05:25.960 --> 01:05:31.240
world that is so messed up and so broken. And so I want to work with people that

901
01:05:31.240 --> 01:05:36.720
are serious and committed. I'm seeing a bit of a trend though of people, and this

902
01:05:36.720 --> 01:05:41.640
could be me as well, who's not really enforcing it. Like I'm messaging people

903
01:05:41.640 --> 01:05:45.520
and saying, hey your payments due, your payments due, oh can I pay, they don't get

904
01:05:45.520 --> 01:05:48.720
back to me and then they do and can I pay in a week and then it's more problems

905
01:05:48.720 --> 01:05:54.960
with pay and it's just like I don't want to deal with it but I need a kind way to

906
01:05:54.960 --> 01:06:00.400
not make it like, because I kind of want to be like this is, I get it, I get that

907
01:06:00.400 --> 01:06:04.680
you want to pay in a week or whatever, I get that, you know, in a way this this is

908
01:06:04.680 --> 01:06:07.320
something like you can have a conversation with me personally about and

909
01:06:07.320 --> 01:06:11.680
I could, you know, change it but I have put in the agreement there are no

910
01:06:11.680 --> 01:06:15.960
changes to your payment structure under any circumstances and they signed that

911
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:22.280
and so I, it is serious but I like your idea of choice. I guess I just don't

912
01:06:22.280 --> 01:06:27.440
under, I don't know yet what choice to give them so I'll need to ponder, I feel

913
01:06:27.440 --> 01:06:31.280
like there should be some kind of an NSF fee like if it doesn't go through on

914
01:06:31.280 --> 01:06:36.160
their bank card there would be an NSF fee normally for that kind of a thing.

915
01:06:36.160 --> 01:06:40.360
They can make sure it's in their account and if it's not it would add up and

916
01:06:40.360 --> 01:06:44.520
eventually people might be like okay I'm just gonna quit and I'm not gonna pay

917
01:06:44.520 --> 01:06:48.600
you anything that I owe you and it's like okay well that would be really sad

918
01:06:48.640 --> 01:06:53.160
but I guess that's the choice that they're making but yeah and it's your

919
01:06:53.160 --> 01:06:56.680
risk unless you're wanting to take him to court I mean because quite honestly I

920
01:06:56.680 --> 01:07:01.760
mean that's what that's what our those written agreements they're signing are I

921
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:07.600
mean we both know the likelihood of us taking an inquiry is just nil so it's

922
01:07:07.600 --> 01:07:12.960
our risk but just having an agreement that they've signed makes it a little

923
01:07:12.960 --> 01:07:16.840
more serious it makes helps them take it a bit more seriously which is great.

924
01:07:16.840 --> 01:07:21.640
Another thing that I've actually thought about doing is and removing

925
01:07:21.640 --> 01:07:29.160
their access until they pay because there it's not if they're not investing

926
01:07:29.160 --> 01:07:35.640
and they don't get investment and I know all of this understand that me telling

927
01:07:35.640 --> 01:07:40.040
you all of these things sounds very harsh sounds cool sounds like the

928
01:07:40.040 --> 01:07:43.040
opposite of what we're trying to do we're trying to let them know hey look

929
01:07:43.040 --> 01:07:49.720
God doesn't work like that you know the that you know this is a safe place you

930
01:07:49.720 --> 01:07:56.040
know etc so it sounds very counter to that but what we're also working with is

931
01:07:56.040 --> 01:08:00.880
we're working with people that are used to and feel familiar with and feel

932
01:08:00.880 --> 01:08:06.080
comforted by the law and that's what they understand and quite honestly if

933
01:08:06.400 --> 01:08:13.520
they are it what with their modus operandi is is the law and they're just

934
01:08:13.520 --> 01:08:17.200
hoping you're not going to operate according to it you know that you're

935
01:08:17.200 --> 01:08:19.640
going to give them grace you're going to do this commitment whatever it's like

936
01:08:19.640 --> 01:08:26.359
no no you can it also in a way helps get helps teach them ownership and control

937
01:08:26.359 --> 01:08:31.680
of their own lives hey if I'm this is this is the exchange and it works

938
01:08:31.680 --> 01:08:37.439
exactly like this so that you can know for sure what the outcome is going to be

939
01:08:37.439 --> 01:08:41.600
when you make a particular decision and make a particular action so there's it

940
01:08:41.600 --> 01:08:46.520
as weird as it sounds there's an aspect of comfort and security that it brings

941
01:08:46.520 --> 01:08:52.040
that they know what's going to happen and like now they I'm not I'm not saying

942
01:08:52.040 --> 01:08:55.760
that people wouldn't test it but what I'm saying is if you follow through

943
01:08:55.760 --> 01:09:00.600
otherwise this hey you've got to do it according to this contract but then

944
01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:05.800
that's not what happens in reality they kind of string you along for a while and

945
01:09:05.800 --> 01:09:10.160
they're allowed to then it's everything's fluid and as weird as it

946
01:09:10.160 --> 01:09:16.680
sounds it makes them feel not as safe they feel that they like the fact that

947
01:09:16.680 --> 01:09:22.120
they get to do that but there's an aspect in which they're they're not a

948
01:09:22.120 --> 01:09:27.240
hundred percent sure of it helped it causes them to start doubting other

949
01:09:27.240 --> 01:09:30.319
things causes and start doubting the results that they would get if they

950
01:09:30.319 --> 01:09:35.200
follow you you know whatever so and anyway what it is that we're working

951
01:09:35.200 --> 01:09:40.120
with is we are we are working in a world that operates according to specific

952
01:09:40.120 --> 01:09:45.200
principles and that's what people are understanding so anyway that's what I

953
01:09:45.200 --> 01:09:49.120
thought about I thought about doing but again because it's just not worth it to

954
01:09:49.120 --> 01:09:55.400
me it's not worth messing with all of that stuff and and now the Lord might

955
01:09:55.400 --> 01:10:01.440
lead me into something different but so far I'm like that's like really

956
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.000
So I've thought about that, but the other thing is with me,

957
01:10:05.200 --> 01:10:07.440
and I'm sure it is with yours as well,

958
01:10:07.440 --> 01:10:12.040
is I consider people's interaction with the program

959
01:10:12.040 --> 01:10:14.520
to be affecting everyone else too.

960
01:10:14.520 --> 01:10:19.240
So, because they're trying, if everybody else,

961
01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:21.160
and I have had some people

962
01:10:21.160 --> 01:10:23.860
that really struggle with vulnerability,

963
01:10:25.200 --> 01:10:27.960
and if they're being vulnerable in the group,

964
01:10:27.960 --> 01:10:30.480
and then somebody else isn't being that vulnerable back,

965
01:10:30.480 --> 01:10:32.560
they're not feeling as safe,

966
01:10:32.560 --> 01:10:35.680
and they're, or if they're popping in and out

967
01:10:35.680 --> 01:10:39.200
because they're late on their payments,

968
01:10:39.200 --> 01:10:41.080
you know, this month and whatever,

969
01:10:41.080 --> 01:10:42.720
and then they pop in and they pop out,

970
01:10:42.720 --> 01:10:46.680
that it create, it doesn't create a safe environment

971
01:10:46.680 --> 01:10:49.680
for everyone else, and that's really what bothers me

972
01:10:49.680 --> 01:10:53.920
quite honestly the most, is not the person,

973
01:10:53.920 --> 01:10:57.240
and whether or not they are making their commitment

974
01:10:57.240 --> 01:10:59.280
or whatever, that can bother it between me and them,

975
01:10:59.280 --> 01:11:02.000
it's like, hey, you know, I'm investing in you, whatever,

976
01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:06.080
but then, but then, I don't know,

977
01:11:06.080 --> 01:11:09.940
just not being as committed to the group

978
01:11:09.940 --> 01:11:12.560
that everybody else is opening their heart to

979
01:11:13.480 --> 01:11:15.760
is something that I just don't like

980
01:11:15.760 --> 01:11:18.720
to open everyone else up to.

981
01:11:18.720 --> 01:11:20.640
So anyway, and that's why I always,

982
01:11:20.640 --> 01:11:23.560
I still to this day vet people before they come in,

983
01:11:23.560 --> 01:11:26.960
because I didn't do that in October,

984
01:11:27.720 --> 01:11:29.440
and I regretted it, there was someone who came in,

985
01:11:29.440 --> 01:11:31.360
I thought, I knew them already,

986
01:11:31.360 --> 01:11:32.600
and I thought, I think they're ready,

987
01:11:32.600 --> 01:11:35.020
they weren't, and it caused problems.

988
01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:40.400
And so I didn't allow them to go to the next group,

989
01:11:40.400 --> 01:11:42.360
you know, I didn't allow them to continue

990
01:11:42.360 --> 01:11:44.800
after that program finished,

991
01:11:44.800 --> 01:11:48.560
and because they weren't ready, they couldn't keep up,

992
01:11:48.560 --> 01:11:50.000
they weren't changing, they weren't doing

993
01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:51.880
what I told them to do, you know, et cetera.

994
01:11:51.880 --> 01:11:55.400
So anyway, those are just some thoughts.

995
01:11:55.400 --> 01:11:57.680
So as far as like how you feel

996
01:11:57.680 --> 01:12:02.680
when they're trying to pull on your heartstrings

997
01:12:03.200 --> 01:12:04.840
and whatever, just remember,

998
01:12:04.840 --> 01:12:08.080
you can have all of the love and the compassion

999
01:12:08.080 --> 01:12:11.080
and still hold a boundary.

1000
01:12:12.200 --> 01:12:15.920
I think that we associate love and compassion with,

1001
01:12:15.920 --> 01:12:18.240
well, then therefore it means I need to move the boundary.

1002
01:12:18.240 --> 01:12:21.260
No, you can feel it, you can express it,

1003
01:12:21.260 --> 01:12:23.000
you can, you know, feel sorry

1004
01:12:23.000 --> 01:12:25.360
that you're in that situation or whatever,

1005
01:12:26.200 --> 01:12:30.200
but well, yeah, but this is what you're pursuing right now,

1006
01:12:30.200 --> 01:12:34.080
you're pursuing healing, you're pursuing, you know,

1007
01:12:34.080 --> 01:12:36.400
the Lord, this is very important.

1008
01:12:36.400 --> 01:12:39.660
And so that I thought was something

1009
01:12:39.660 --> 01:12:42.360
that you wanted to invest yourself in

1010
01:12:42.360 --> 01:12:44.480
and was very important to you

1011
01:12:44.480 --> 01:12:48.600
to like more than other things in your life.

1012
01:12:48.600 --> 01:12:51.400
And, you know, just kind of like walking through that

1013
01:12:51.400 --> 01:12:53.800
or whatever, but as far as you, you know,

1014
01:12:53.800 --> 01:12:54.960
you can love and feeling,

1015
01:12:54.960 --> 01:12:58.600
you don't have to be hard and harsh in your heart about it

1016
01:12:58.600 --> 01:13:03.600
while still making, while still following through

1017
01:13:03.960 --> 01:13:08.680
on what it is that y'all had agreed to.

1018
01:13:08.680 --> 01:13:12.200
And I think the thing that's come up for me around that is

1019
01:13:12.200 --> 01:13:14.880
if I'm asking them to pay what they've agreed to

1020
01:13:14.880 --> 01:13:18.600
and they're struggling with some financial issue,

1021
01:13:18.600 --> 01:13:21.960
is that selfish of me to ask them to pay that money

1022
01:13:22.000 --> 01:13:24.280
or should I be like, you know what?

1023
01:13:24.280 --> 01:13:25.740
I'm just gonna give them a pass.

1024
01:13:25.740 --> 01:13:28.640
Like part of my heart is struggles with that.

1025
01:13:28.640 --> 01:13:30.920
It's like, I should be a little kinder,

1026
01:13:30.920 --> 01:13:32.000
I should be more understanding.

1027
01:13:32.000 --> 01:13:34.280
But at the same time I say, no,

1028
01:13:34.280 --> 01:13:36.200
I like I did get to keep their commitments

1029
01:13:36.200 --> 01:13:39.280
because that's really important to keep their word.

1030
01:13:39.280 --> 01:13:40.600
And so-

1031
01:13:40.600 --> 01:13:44.600
It's important for them to keep that commitment to themselves.

1032
01:13:44.600 --> 01:13:45.880
It is for sure.

1033
01:13:45.880 --> 01:13:50.800
But part of me thinks, I wanna be able to say that

1034
01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:52.880
in a gentle and supportive way.

1035
01:13:52.880 --> 01:13:55.840
Like this is a commitment you made to yourself and to God.

1036
01:13:56.760 --> 01:14:00.580
And it's not necessarily about me receiving the funds,

1037
01:14:00.580 --> 01:14:03.420
but it's about you keeping your commitment.

1038
01:14:03.420 --> 01:14:06.580
And I'm seeing that you're not keeping your commitment.

1039
01:14:06.580 --> 01:14:09.800
And so that tells me that maybe this isn't a good fit

1040
01:14:09.800 --> 01:14:12.300
or that like, I don't even know what to say

1041
01:14:12.300 --> 01:14:15.600
in that situation because my heart also wants

1042
01:14:15.600 --> 01:14:19.360
to give them a bit of a like, oh, it's okay.

1043
01:14:19.360 --> 01:14:22.960
I know life is hard sometimes and like it's-

1044
01:14:22.960 --> 01:14:24.520
Yeah.

1045
01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:26.280
Well, you can, you can say all those things.

1046
01:14:26.280 --> 01:14:29.480
Yeah, I understand life is hard sometimes.

1047
01:14:29.480 --> 01:14:31.280
I'm so sorry that you're going through this

1048
01:14:31.280 --> 01:14:32.880
and that all of this came up.

1049
01:14:33.960 --> 01:14:37.120
So because of, so I understand

1050
01:14:37.120 --> 01:14:38.200
that you're in that situation.

1051
01:14:38.200 --> 01:14:43.200
So I can give you, I don't know if you wanna say,

1052
01:14:44.200 --> 01:14:46.240
I can give you one more day or whatever.

1053
01:14:46.240 --> 01:14:47.680
I'm just making something up here.

1054
01:14:47.680 --> 01:14:48.680
Yeah, I can do that.

1055
01:14:49.400 --> 01:14:52.040
I said, and then if I don't hear back from you

1056
01:14:52.040 --> 01:14:54.120
or I don't receive the payment by this time,

1057
01:14:54.120 --> 01:14:56.520
well then I'll just know that you've decided

1058
01:14:56.520 --> 01:15:00.040
to go ahead and cancel or go ahead.

1059
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.040
leave the program or something like that. It's all from this perspective of you are putting it in

1060
01:15:07.040 --> 01:15:13.120
their hands and just stating as a fact what's going to happen. You know, okay, well, I understand

1061
01:15:13.120 --> 01:15:21.040
you're in this situation. I am so sorry. So no worries. If you can't make the payment, you know,

1062
01:15:21.040 --> 01:15:26.000
well, then as of, oh, by, you know, midnight, tomorrow night, Eastern Standard Time, well,

1063
01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:31.520
then I'll just know that you just have not, that you, you know, because of the situation that

1064
01:15:31.520 --> 01:15:36.480
you're in, you're just not able to continue with the program. And then I'll just, I'll just take

1065
01:15:36.480 --> 01:15:41.200
care of everything for you. I'll just close your account and do that. And so you can just,

1066
01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:46.080
you're, you're wording it from their perspective, from their perspective of you're understanding

1067
01:15:46.080 --> 01:15:51.680
the situation that you're, that they're in, but it doesn't require something of you.

1068
01:15:52.480 --> 01:15:56.880
You're offering them your compassion or offering them their under your understanding

1069
01:15:57.920 --> 01:16:02.080
as opposed to being hard on them. No, you shouldn't anymore. Whatever. I really do think

1070
01:16:03.200 --> 01:16:09.760
that, um, it is best if they cannot make a financial commitment or they don't want to

1071
01:16:09.760 --> 01:16:13.520
keep going anymore. I mean, meaning like, it's not that they don't want to keep going anymore,

1072
01:16:13.520 --> 01:16:19.760
but that they they're just struggling with the money. You can, you take this to the Lord,

1073
01:16:19.760 --> 01:16:28.000
whatever it is you want to do for me, I feel that that's kind and, uh, and, and to just

1074
01:16:29.600 --> 01:16:34.400
let, let them cancel in the middle of the program. You know, like, Hey, if they need the money,

1075
01:16:34.400 --> 01:16:37.840
they're in that much of a strip. You know, I'm not going to require that you finish.

1076
01:16:38.480 --> 01:16:41.520
I'm not going to hold that over your head, even though you signed the contract,

1077
01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:48.800
that's where you're giving the grace, but not staying in the program without paying.

1078
01:16:50.560 --> 01:16:56.720
So you just now I know that, that you're saying, yeah, but this is just delay. Yeah. But how often,

1079
01:16:56.720 --> 01:17:01.680
what are, how much are they delaying? I know you've given me like little ideas,

1080
01:17:01.680 --> 01:17:07.120
but generally speaking, how often does this come up and is this like always a day or is

1081
01:17:07.120 --> 01:17:15.200
this usually a week or what are we talking about? Um, it's usually like, yeah, like a week or two

1082
01:17:15.200 --> 01:17:21.600
weeks or something like that. No, because think of how much happens in that two week period of

1083
01:17:21.600 --> 01:17:25.920
time, how much you're investing in them, that they have access to the, have access to those

1084
01:17:25.920 --> 01:17:34.000
past teachings. You have access to whatever they're still pulling. And they, but they're no

1085
01:17:34.000 --> 01:17:41.760
longer, they're no longer committed to it, to the degree that they committed themselves to,

1086
01:17:41.760 --> 01:17:48.800
if that makes sense, to the degree that they, uh, I know what I'm trying to say,

1087
01:17:48.800 --> 01:17:53.520
but I think the words that I'm using are making it sound convoluted, but anyway, it's, um,

1088
01:17:54.160 --> 01:18:01.600
that that's just, um, that's just me and where I am right now. I'm not saying that if I was in

1089
01:18:01.600 --> 01:18:05.760
that situation, I would handle it exactly the way I'm saying. The reason I say that is I'm,

1090
01:18:05.760 --> 01:18:10.160
this is just off the cuff. Sure. I have worked through some of this myself, but you know,

1091
01:18:10.160 --> 01:18:14.800
also with the decision I've made to not do monthly, you know, because I don't want to

1092
01:18:14.800 --> 01:18:20.240
deal with this, but thinking on the fly of some of the things that I have ideas that I've had,

1093
01:18:20.240 --> 01:18:24.880
of like, if I did monthly, how would I handle it? I'm just kind of telling you some things.

1094
01:18:24.880 --> 01:18:28.000
I'm not telling you that you shouldn't have grace for someone for two weeks,

1095
01:18:28.560 --> 01:18:37.680
but if it's bothering you this much, I'm trying to give you ideas about what you could do and how

1096
01:18:37.680 --> 01:18:44.400
you in conversation and in conversation starters with the Lord about, um, what you could do

1097
01:18:44.400 --> 01:18:50.560
different, you know, like, and one of them is truly holding to your boundary, but doing it in

1098
01:18:50.560 --> 01:18:56.240
a loving way. You're understanding their situation. You're understanding that, you know, the, well,

1099
01:18:56.240 --> 01:19:02.400
the contract, you know, uh, or you, I try to not mention, and this is a, this is something that you,

1100
01:19:03.360 --> 01:19:08.160
that is talked about in psychology and in business is you try to not mention the negative.

1101
01:19:08.800 --> 01:19:11.440
Now, if they bring it up, well, then you have to talk about it, but you try not to mention the

1102
01:19:11.440 --> 01:19:15.280
negative. So you always try to talk about things in the positive. So instead of bringing up the,

1103
01:19:15.280 --> 01:19:22.080
well, I, you know, it's, um, it's not allowed to be, uh, you know, uh, you're not allowed to be

1104
01:19:22.080 --> 01:19:27.920
late and you're already laid and, and you're going to be late if you don't or whatever.

1105
01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:33.040
And, um, instead of talking about that, it's just all of this understanding. I understand

1106
01:19:33.040 --> 01:19:40.080
the situation is I am so sorry. So, um, you know, I'll, if, if I don't, if, uh, you know,

1107
01:19:40.800 --> 01:19:45.280
you know, if I don't, if the money doesn't, there aren't, if you weren't able to, because again,

1108
01:19:45.280 --> 01:19:48.960
you're always saying it from their side, if you're not able to, uh, send in the money,

1109
01:19:48.960 --> 01:19:55.520
or if you decide that's how I would put it. If you decide to not, um, uh, send in the money,

1110
01:19:55.520 --> 01:19:59.920
you know, by tomorrow, um, you know, at midnight, you know, because of your situation.

1111
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:15.000
You don't feel that you could do it or you then then I'll just assume that you know you just then I'll just realize that's the thing, then I realized that you've made the choice that that that you need to put your money in another place right now because of what's happened.

1112
01:20:15.000 --> 01:20:32.000
So, then don't worry about anything, I'll go ahead and after after midnight you know I'll just I'll take care of everything for you. I'll remove the your account, and, and then you, and then obviously, you know, or maybe for the program and so you

1113
01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:44.000
don't have to worry that way you know you don't have to worry about payments for the rest of the year or whatever. It's all from their perspective because quite honestly that is relieving them, it's relieving them from all of that but at the same

1114
01:20:44.000 --> 01:20:58.000
time it's holding your boundary is holding their in its holding the commitment that they made to you. It's holding you, it's you holding them accountable for their commitment to you that hey, and to them that hey if you're going to invest in them that

1115
01:20:59.000 --> 01:21:12.000
they were going to meet you. They decided to no longer meet you in that place and you're like, oh, so under so here's basically what I'm trying to say, you have to understand it's their choice.

1116
01:21:12.000 --> 01:21:14.000
They're telling you what their choices.

1117
01:21:14.000 --> 01:21:22.000
So it's like, oh, okay, well I was really hoping your choice is different. My choice is to stay with you but if your choices don't stay with me.

1118
01:21:22.000 --> 01:21:35.000
And you wouldn't word it like that. But I'm saying that that's what you have to realize is going on they're making a choice about what they want to do with your their life, you are a static thing that is there for someone to take advantage of, if they want

1119
01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:44.000
to, I mean, in a good way, take advantage of an opportunity if they want to, and they're saying that it's no longer convenient.

1120
01:21:44.000 --> 01:21:53.000
Okay, that's fine. But you stay where you are, you don't have to move and travel with them, because they're moving.

1121
01:21:54.000 --> 01:22:05.000
So you can decide in your conversations with the Lord where that grace line needs to be like how, how strict does it need to be how Chloe does it need to be.

1122
01:22:05.000 --> 01:22:12.000
That's between you and the Lord so some of what I might say is some of what I said might sound too harsh and not harsh might sound too strict.

1123
01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:25.000
And then, or it might sound like it's got more grace, then more grace that always sounds back to something for denying grace if we don't do it, but that has too much flexibility that doesn't resonate with what you're feeling from the Lord.

1124
01:22:25.000 --> 01:22:41.000
So you just decide what that is but make a decision and keep to that decision, no matter what someone's circumstance or situation is so that you can you no longer have to make a decision on the fly and make a different decision for each person.

1125
01:22:42.000 --> 01:22:54.000
What you can do is go back in time and and think about different situations that have come up and said well and think, okay, well, if someone has died, if their spouse died.

1126
01:22:54.000 --> 01:23:04.000
Well, then, you know, that's something you run into. Well, then, okay, just just just give them a minute, you know, you know, well then that's different but if someone's like refrigerator broke.

1127
01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:19.000
If someone's whatever, you know, that, then, then it's like okay well I guess this is just a an investment that they're no longer that they can no longer afford.

1128
01:23:19.000 --> 01:23:25.000
And that's how they're living their life. They can't help that their refrigerator broke, but neither can you.

1129
01:23:26.000 --> 01:23:44.000
So, understand that that if we're not careful we take on the responsibility of other people so really that's coming down to brass tacks is both you and I learned through the way that we grew up that we were, we learned and I'm not saying that someone necessarily communicated

1130
01:23:45.000 --> 01:24:00.000
did. And some of it is just how we interpreted it. So I'm not trying to make judgment, you know, cast judgment on anybody, but the idea that we believed that we were responsible for everyone else responsible for everyone's decisions we responsible, if someone

1131
01:24:00.000 --> 01:24:03.000
else got hurt we responsible to make it better.

1132
01:24:03.000 --> 01:24:06.000
And you're just not.

1133
01:24:06.000 --> 01:24:09.000
And my husband has had to talk to me a lot about that lately.

1134
01:24:10.000 --> 01:24:26.000
Because I just that part of how I get burnout is I take on more responsibility than I committed myself to, because part of it is windings from the past and part of it is, you know, I just, I want to, because I love what I do.

1135
01:24:26.000 --> 01:24:42.000
If I'm loving what I'm doing and I'm getting burnout do loving what doing what I love and like something's wrong somewhere. And my husband's been pointing out as been pointing out, actually, you're taking on responsibility for other people that is theirs and it's not yours.

1136
01:24:42.000 --> 01:25:00.000
When you're passing the line, you know, beyond what you committed to invest in them and you're giving more, that's fine if you can handle it. But if you're, if you're getting burnout, you're taking on something God did not equip you to be in their life.

1137
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.080
I'm like, Oh, anyway, I'm, I'm, I'm working on it.

1138
01:25:06.080 --> 01:25:07.760
That's Hey, that's amazing.

1139
01:25:07.760 --> 01:25:13.520
Like, and it's so good that you have a husband that helps you see, you know, when, when that's

1140
01:25:13.520 --> 01:25:20.520
coming up again, that pattern, those can be deeply ingrained patterns of realizing, wow,

1141
01:25:20.520 --> 01:25:27.000
like taking on responsibility of other people and overgiving to make up for something that

1142
01:25:27.000 --> 01:25:33.160
they're not like, I know I've done the same thing that is, yeah, it's amazing that, and

1143
01:25:33.160 --> 01:25:38.520
I love that you're always open to learning what, you know, he wants to call you in next.

1144
01:25:38.520 --> 01:25:44.980
It's, I feel like you've really been able to remove the judgment around what anyone

1145
01:25:44.980 --> 01:25:47.560
might say about what you charge, right?

1146
01:25:47.560 --> 01:25:51.080
Like, even if somebody says, Oh, you know, it used to be 200.

1147
01:25:51.080 --> 01:25:52.080
Now it's a thousand.

1148
01:25:52.080 --> 01:25:53.080
Now it's 2000.

1149
01:25:53.080 --> 01:25:56.560
Like, I feel like you wouldn't even, that wouldn't even bother you.

1150
01:25:56.560 --> 01:26:00.560
You would just, it would be like water off a duck for you.

1151
01:26:00.560 --> 01:26:01.560
You know?

1152
01:26:01.560 --> 01:26:08.560
Well, it, but it, in a manner of speaking, yes, but understand that only because I went

1153
01:26:08.560 --> 01:26:14.800
through all of that before I ever charged it, I already went through the pain of that.

1154
01:26:14.800 --> 01:26:15.800
Oh my word.

1155
01:26:15.800 --> 01:26:16.800
Is this bad?

1156
01:26:16.800 --> 01:26:17.800
Yeah.

1157
01:26:17.800 --> 01:26:21.880
I can, I can, I role played in my head of someone saying something or, well, actually I don't

1158
01:26:21.880 --> 01:26:22.880
really do that.

1159
01:26:22.880 --> 01:26:26.080
I'm trying to figure out, it's like, I go through all of the emotions that you're thinking

1160
01:26:26.600 --> 01:26:30.600
of what happened when someone says that I go through all of that before I ever put it

1161
01:26:30.600 --> 01:26:32.640
out there and say, I'm going to do it.

1162
01:26:32.640 --> 01:26:38.800
So I do go through it, but I've already gone through it by the time I put it out there.

1163
01:26:38.800 --> 01:26:44.640
And so anyway, so I still struggle, I still struggle wondering, you know, like for instance,

1164
01:26:44.640 --> 01:26:50.040
I put out the two 75 and I was like, and, and that was less than I thought about charging.

1165
01:26:50.040 --> 01:26:51.680
And I was like, well, maybe this is okay.

1166
01:26:51.680 --> 01:26:55.120
But even when I put it out there, after I put it out there, I still didn't feel a sense

1167
01:26:55.160 --> 01:26:56.720
of my spirit, that that was accurate.

1168
01:26:56.720 --> 01:27:00.600
So I'm like, okay, I'll do two 50 and I'm like, now that feels right.

1169
01:27:00.600 --> 01:27:04.640
So two 50 feels right now, but I'm telling you what, I change things all the time and

1170
01:27:04.640 --> 01:27:07.360
it might go up to two 75 or 300 next week.

1171
01:27:07.360 --> 01:27:08.360
I don't know.

1172
01:27:08.360 --> 01:27:15.400
So the thing is, I just go with what is right in the moment, where, where is my peace?

1173
01:27:15.400 --> 01:27:18.720
If God, you know, because God is not a formula.

1174
01:27:18.720 --> 01:27:20.840
So just where's my peace right now?

1175
01:27:20.840 --> 01:27:29.720
So I do, the reason it does kind of flow off of me a bit, you know, mostly not all of it,

1176
01:27:29.720 --> 01:27:33.960
but mostly when, if someone were to ever say that it's because I've already gone through

1177
01:27:33.960 --> 01:27:37.880
it before I, before I put it out there, I've already gone through all that pain, all of

1178
01:27:37.880 --> 01:27:43.240
the questioning, all the self doubt, all the worry, all of the feeling guilty.

1179
01:27:43.240 --> 01:27:47.360
And I've just thought, and I go through that, you know?

1180
01:27:47.360 --> 01:27:54.520
So if that gives you any comfort, but I still go through it, but I do it before I put it

1181
01:27:54.520 --> 01:27:55.520
out there.

1182
01:27:55.520 --> 01:27:59.240
So I have to be pretty sure by the time I put it out there.

1183
01:27:59.240 --> 01:28:03.960
And once I do, but sure, as in like, I'm willing to own my decision.

1184
01:28:03.960 --> 01:28:05.200
That's what I'd say about sure.

1185
01:28:05.200 --> 01:28:09.000
I don't mean that I know for sure that it's right, meaning like that that's where God's

1186
01:28:09.000 --> 01:28:11.600
peace is for me.

1187
01:28:11.600 --> 01:28:16.800
It's that I, I get to the point where I'm like, God, I'm owning my decision before you

1188
01:28:16.800 --> 01:28:21.280
that I believe that this is right, or this is what you're saying is, is a good amount

1189
01:28:21.280 --> 01:28:22.400
or whatever.

1190
01:28:22.400 --> 01:28:27.280
And I'm putting it out there so that if it's so that if I no longer feel peace, once I

1191
01:28:27.280 --> 01:28:30.920
put it out there, I owned that I am that decision.

1192
01:28:30.920 --> 01:28:31.920
Okay.

1193
01:28:31.920 --> 01:28:32.920
I made that decision.

1194
01:28:32.920 --> 01:28:37.280
So in a manner of speaking, I don't feel guilty because I made the decision.

1195
01:28:37.280 --> 01:28:38.280
I own it.

1196
01:28:38.280 --> 01:28:39.280
I wasn't victimized.

1197
01:28:39.280 --> 01:28:43.280
I wasn't like, I don't know, coerced into it.

1198
01:28:43.280 --> 01:28:48.200
I didn't like feel guilty and wasn't quite sure about the decision and put it out there.

1199
01:28:48.200 --> 01:28:49.800
And now my word, look what happened.

1200
01:28:49.800 --> 01:28:51.320
No, I own it very strongly.

1201
01:28:51.320 --> 01:28:53.640
No, this is my decision.

1202
01:28:53.640 --> 01:28:55.360
And so I can stand before God like that.

1203
01:28:55.360 --> 01:28:58.600
I hold myself accountable to the Lord that I made that decision.

1204
01:28:58.600 --> 01:29:02.800
So as weird as it sounds, because there's that strength behind it, it's what the, it's

1205
01:29:02.800 --> 01:29:06.200
what a friend of mine calls a strong decision.

1206
01:29:06.200 --> 01:29:12.440
And because there's a strength behind it, I don't feel so guilty.

1207
01:29:12.440 --> 01:29:16.440
If I like, say for instance, I had done the two 75 and then I'm backed off to the two

1208
01:29:16.440 --> 01:29:21.200
30 to the two 50, I'd put it out there that it was two 75.

1209
01:29:21.200 --> 01:29:27.420
And then I felt, and then like, so I'll charge people that I'll charge people more testing

1210
01:29:27.420 --> 01:29:29.320
out of a price.

1211
01:29:29.320 --> 01:29:33.600
And then I realized I don't feel peace about that, but I've already charged him.

1212
01:29:34.000 --> 01:29:39.200
So I know that that's not what I'm going to keep doing, but I made a strong decision.

1213
01:29:39.200 --> 01:29:40.600
So I'm going to own that before the Lord.

1214
01:29:40.600 --> 01:29:44.000
I'm not going to look at, I'm not going to come to him ashamed of my head hung.

1215
01:29:44.000 --> 01:29:51.040
I mean, I knew what I was doing and God's like, okay, God really appreciates strong

1216
01:29:51.040 --> 01:29:54.400
us facing him with strong decisions.

1217
01:29:54.400 --> 01:29:58.760
He does not like our heads held in shame.

1218
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:08.080
He doesn't get on to us and make us feel ashamed or guilty or like, you should have known better.

1219
01:30:08.080 --> 01:30:12.120
When we come to him with our head held high, like, this is what I did.

1220
01:30:12.120 --> 01:30:13.120
He's like, yeah.

1221
01:30:13.120 --> 01:30:16.040
It's like, okay, yeah, but we're not going to do it like that.

1222
01:30:16.040 --> 01:30:17.880
Actually, we're going to do it like this.

1223
01:30:17.880 --> 01:30:18.880
Like, oh, okay.

1224
01:30:18.880 --> 01:30:24.240
So then all you do is shift as opposed to the shame and this guilt of I've made a mistake.

1225
01:30:24.240 --> 01:30:27.760
You own the decision that makes all the difference in the world.

1226
01:30:27.760 --> 01:30:28.760
All the difference.

1227
01:30:29.080 --> 01:30:34.520
Do you ever worry that like, if you increase your prices for the rest intensive, like when

1228
01:30:34.520 --> 01:30:39.840
you went from 200 to 1,000, or if you go from 1,000 to 2,000, do you ever have any fear

1229
01:30:39.840 --> 01:30:40.840
that comes up?

1230
01:30:40.840 --> 01:30:43.840
That no one will get me in?

1231
01:30:43.840 --> 01:30:44.840
Oh, absolutely.

1232
01:30:44.840 --> 01:30:45.840
Absolutely.

1233
01:30:45.840 --> 01:30:53.640
All of these things are like, they're normal questions that everybody deals with is, yeah,

1234
01:30:53.640 --> 01:30:54.640
absolutely.

1235
01:30:54.640 --> 01:30:55.640
Scared me to death.

1236
01:30:55.960 --> 01:31:01.920
I was like, and I told Ed, I was like, what if like one person shows up or like, you know,

1237
01:31:01.920 --> 01:31:02.920
no one shows up.

1238
01:31:02.920 --> 01:31:06.720
And I was like, I don't think it's going to be worth it for me to do six weeks where I

1239
01:31:06.720 --> 01:31:11.960
show up for one person and put in as much effort as I would for like all of these people.

1240
01:31:11.960 --> 01:31:14.960
But no, I don't remember how many showed up.

1241
01:31:14.960 --> 01:31:17.960
Eight or nine.

1242
01:31:17.960 --> 01:31:19.960
I think it was nine.

1243
01:31:19.960 --> 01:31:21.960
Nine people came in.

1244
01:31:21.960 --> 01:31:23.960
I was like, okay.

1245
01:31:23.960 --> 01:31:24.960
I was shocked.

1246
01:31:25.280 --> 01:31:34.360
So, cause I went from 200 to 2,000 and I had as many people show up, if not more, show

1247
01:31:34.360 --> 01:31:40.400
up at a thousand and did it 200 because it shows that my, I take myself seriously and

1248
01:31:40.400 --> 01:31:46.200
that it increased the value of my program in other people's eyes and my program's worth

1249
01:31:46.200 --> 01:31:48.920
more than what I'm charging.

1250
01:31:48.920 --> 01:31:52.800
That's what I felt the peace at doing them because it was stretching me.

1251
01:31:53.520 --> 01:31:56.840
It was a stretch to go from 200 to a thousand.

1252
01:31:56.840 --> 01:32:01.480
And so even though my friend thought it was 2,000, you know?

1253
01:32:01.480 --> 01:32:05.560
And so anyway, the thing is, it's just like, yeah, but this is just where me and God are.

1254
01:32:05.560 --> 01:32:06.800
And that's what my program is.

1255
01:32:06.800 --> 01:32:08.240
And Ed talks about this all the time.

1256
01:32:08.240 --> 01:32:11.760
He said, at, he said, Ashley, your program is very personal to you.

1257
01:32:11.760 --> 01:32:13.440
He said, your message is very personal.

1258
01:32:13.440 --> 01:32:18.080
He said, that's why you get your feelings heard about this or this bothers you so much

1259
01:32:18.080 --> 01:32:20.840
over here is because it's you.

1260
01:32:20.880 --> 01:32:24.320
It's not something you learned in the Bible and are teaching.

1261
01:32:24.320 --> 01:32:26.080
He said, this is what you live.

1262
01:32:26.080 --> 01:32:32.640
This is who you are and you will be vulnerable to teach people out of what you have personally

1263
01:32:32.640 --> 01:32:39.640
experienced in your life, personal conversations, you and God have things that places where

1264
01:32:39.640 --> 01:32:46.160
God met you and how he did and how you traveled with him and whatever he's like, that's why

1265
01:32:46.160 --> 01:32:47.880
this means so much to you.

1266
01:32:47.880 --> 01:32:49.840
And you're so intense about it.

1267
01:32:49.840 --> 01:32:54.280
He said, because you are giving people, you didn't word it like this, but it's like, I'm

1268
01:32:54.280 --> 01:32:57.760
giving people access to the deepest parts of my life.

1269
01:32:57.760 --> 01:33:04.080
What hat and giving and allowing and offering it, offering to pour that and what birthed

1270
01:33:04.080 --> 01:33:09.160
out of that into other people that they might experience the same thing.

1271
01:33:09.160 --> 01:33:14.960
Think of it kind of like a, like a, like a, like a sourdough starter or whatever is like,

1272
01:33:14.960 --> 01:33:22.840
I'm, I'm growing it in me that I'm a sourdough starter and I'm like, literally like giving

1273
01:33:22.840 --> 01:33:28.640
out of myself to someone else who wants it so that they can grow their, so that they

1274
01:33:28.640 --> 01:33:31.920
can grow their own bread or they can grow their own starter if they want to.

1275
01:33:31.920 --> 01:33:36.960
But the point is that when you work with sourdough starters, sometimes there's hardly anything

1276
01:33:36.960 --> 01:33:42.920
left that you can scrape out of the bowl, but you can see that your starter is still

1277
01:33:42.920 --> 01:33:43.920
alive.

1278
01:33:43.920 --> 01:33:48.560
Meaning like there's hardly any starter left because you spent it all on the loaf that

1279
01:33:48.560 --> 01:33:49.560
you made.

1280
01:33:49.560 --> 01:33:55.400
And your starter can start from that little bitty bits that are still left from the deaf

1281
01:33:55.400 --> 01:33:56.400
friend.

1282
01:33:56.400 --> 01:34:00.160
And he's scraping as much as you could out of the bowl and it can still start again.

1283
01:34:00.160 --> 01:34:01.240
And that's what it feels like.

1284
01:34:01.240 --> 01:34:05.720
I'm getting so much out of myself that I feel like sometimes I hardly have any left.

1285
01:34:05.720 --> 01:34:10.920
And so what I had to do now and go on a sabbatical regrow, like, who am I now?

1286
01:34:10.920 --> 01:34:11.920
What is that?

1287
01:34:11.920 --> 01:34:12.920
What is that structure?

1288
01:34:12.920 --> 01:34:14.120
What is that living, breathing thing?

1289
01:34:14.120 --> 01:34:17.480
And so I'm literally giving people of myself.

1290
01:34:17.480 --> 01:34:21.360
And so it makes it kind of interesting because it's not like I read all this stuff in scripture.

1291
01:34:21.360 --> 01:34:24.120
I mean, I have read it in scripture, but what I mean, it's not like I've read something

1292
01:34:24.120 --> 01:34:25.120
in scripture.

1293
01:34:25.120 --> 01:34:29.080
I'm trying to teach people how to, I don't know, understand Isaiah.

1294
01:34:29.080 --> 01:34:32.880
You know, it, cause then there's a bit of distance in my person.

1295
01:34:32.880 --> 01:34:34.400
There's no distance.

1296
01:34:34.400 --> 01:34:35.400
There's just no distance.

1297
01:34:35.400 --> 01:34:37.240
So anyway, it makes it personal.

1298
01:34:37.240 --> 01:34:39.600
I'd imagine for you, it's the same thing.

1299
01:34:39.600 --> 01:34:41.200
It's all very personal.

1300
01:34:41.320 --> 01:34:48.280
So anyway, that then the point is that having heard that it might give you not only a different

1301
01:34:48.280 --> 01:34:57.680
perspective of how to, it might help you in a more healthy way, approach certain decisions,

1302
01:34:57.680 --> 01:35:00.040
knowing that the reason why it's so hard.

1303
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.600
is because it's personal. So treat it as sacred. You're not teaching stuff that you learned from

1304
01:35:07.600 --> 01:35:13.680
a psychology book. I'm sure some of it you did. I'm sure some of it are tools, but my point is

1305
01:35:13.680 --> 01:35:18.880
this is very personal to you. You will use those tools. Like some of the stuff that I teach that

1306
01:35:18.880 --> 01:35:28.240
I learned from other people, I lived it. I lived it and made it mine. And I can tell when people

1307
01:35:28.320 --> 01:35:34.640
are, and you were one of these people, when people hear my teachings about what it is they teach

1308
01:35:34.640 --> 01:35:39.280
about rest and whatever, and then they've owned it for themselves, I can hear in how they talk

1309
01:35:39.280 --> 01:35:44.080
and the words they use, they've owned it. I've heard other people, however, teach what I teach,

1310
01:35:44.080 --> 01:35:50.000
like after having gone through the rest intensive, it is not theirs. They're using my phrases and my

1311
01:35:50.000 --> 01:35:54.480
words and my whatever. And I'm like, they haven't owned it yet. That's atrocious.

1312
01:35:55.200 --> 01:36:04.000
Anyway, so that's different. So my point is that if that, I tell you that about the fact that all

1313
01:36:04.000 --> 01:36:14.000
this is personal to me because it helps me treat what it is that I offer as special and as sacred

1314
01:36:14.000 --> 01:36:22.320
and not question so much why I'm so strict or structured in how I offer it.

1315
01:36:23.280 --> 01:36:29.440
As opposed to thinking, yeah, but other businesses don't do it like this. Yeah, but think what other

1316
01:36:29.440 --> 01:36:33.120
businesses are doing. They're teaching other businesses how to grow businesses or how to make

1317
01:36:33.120 --> 01:36:39.200
a course or something. It's not them and their relationship with the Lord and what they walked

1318
01:36:39.200 --> 01:36:45.680
through, you know? So sure they run theirs different. So if that helps at all in your

1319
01:36:46.640 --> 01:36:52.640
comments to start some stuff with conversations with the Lord. So you'll maybe stop beating

1320
01:36:52.640 --> 01:36:59.760
yourself up so much that you feel the way that you do or that things are so hard or things that

1321
01:36:59.760 --> 01:37:07.200
are things hurt thinking maybe you shouldn't hurt that bad or they shouldn't whatever. No,

1322
01:37:07.200 --> 01:37:11.840
maybe they hurt that bad because they're that important. It's that sacred and you need to

1323
01:37:11.920 --> 01:37:20.640
protect it and do it a bit different than other businesses do it. Yeah, that makes so much sense

1324
01:37:20.640 --> 01:37:27.920
because it is. It's so personal to me and I pour out my heart and soul. Like I really pray for

1325
01:37:27.920 --> 01:37:34.400
these women. I think about them. They're on my heart like it's they we do life together.

1326
01:37:34.720 --> 01:37:44.960
Correct. Yeah, and so and I do like I take it very seriously that this is the painful and

1327
01:37:44.960 --> 01:37:49.920
beautiful journey God brought me through and I if you think that this is for you, I want to help you

1328
01:37:49.920 --> 01:37:57.040
and walk you through that and support you in being able to overcome the pain of your past. Like you

1329
01:37:57.040 --> 01:38:03.760
don't have to live from that trauma response anymore. There's a better way and yeah that

1330
01:38:03.840 --> 01:38:09.040
makes so much sense and I like what you said too about you know you went through a process through

1331
01:38:09.040 --> 01:38:15.440
all your emotions so you could remove the judgment of what other people think because I think I can't

1332
01:38:15.440 --> 01:38:21.840
even believe that it bothers me so much when people you know leave a comment on an ad or message about

1333
01:38:21.840 --> 01:38:27.920
$37. I had a girl in my Facebook group who commented on it and I actually like said it in

1334
01:38:27.920 --> 01:38:34.560
the live today. I said you know some of you are more like really happy because you want to support

1335
01:38:34.560 --> 01:38:39.120
what we're doing here and you want to contribute and you choose to buy the VIP pass for $37

1336
01:38:39.680 --> 01:38:46.960
and we're doing it for free either way. Pardon? Because it's worth that to you. Yeah I mean like

1337
01:38:46.960 --> 01:38:51.760
you're investing. It's like a love offering to yourself. It's a love offering to God and I said

1338
01:38:51.760 --> 01:38:56.800
I also really appreciate it because it's a love offering to me that you really appreciate what

1339
01:38:56.800 --> 01:39:03.840
you're getting for free. You would like to invest in that and I said and we're doing it for free so

1340
01:39:03.840 --> 01:39:09.760
it's for everyone. It's available and you know just thank you if you're willing to invest because

1341
01:39:09.760 --> 01:39:13.760
that's really kind of you and you don't you know you don't have to and that's great but

1342
01:39:14.320 --> 01:39:19.840
because we had had somebody again in the group who's like I'm not paying $37 for I'm like then

1343
01:39:19.840 --> 01:39:25.920
don't pay $37 for VIP pass but it's like this it's almost like this self-righteous judgmental

1344
01:39:25.920 --> 01:39:33.200
part of them comes up and how dare you charge anything for anything you do and it's so it's like

1345
01:39:33.200 --> 01:39:38.160
this and as I've been studying the Bible more and more on this I'm realizing how backwards that

1346
01:39:38.160 --> 01:39:44.960
thinking is that like are you gonna like even saying you know the laborer is worth his wages

1347
01:39:44.960 --> 01:39:50.320
yeah it's the scripture and it doesn't necessarily penetrate deep down on its own but when I come

1348
01:39:50.400 --> 01:39:56.640
into agreement with that I'm like I do deserve to get paid for what I do that is okay I am

1349
01:39:56.640 --> 01:39:59.840
supposed to provide for my family that is okay it's

1350
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.920
not all up to my husband, and we steward the money well.

1351
01:40:04.920 --> 01:40:08.760
And there's still a little bit of like,

1352
01:40:08.760 --> 01:40:10.680
am I allowed to go on a vacation?

1353
01:40:10.680 --> 01:40:13.360
Am I allowed to spend the money that I make on a vacation?

1354
01:40:13.360 --> 01:40:15.240
I don't know if you've ever thought that before,

1355
01:40:15.240 --> 01:40:17.040
if you wanna go on a trip and you've gone,

1356
01:40:17.040 --> 01:40:20.640
cause I feel like you have thought of everything that I say.

1357
01:40:20.640 --> 01:40:22.280
And like, have you ever thought that?

1358
01:40:22.280 --> 01:40:24.160
Okay, I'm making this money from people

1359
01:40:24.160 --> 01:40:27.400
and I wanna go on a nice trip, is that okay?

1360
01:40:27.400 --> 01:40:32.400
Yeah, I haven't thought that in a long time, but I used to.

1361
01:40:33.880 --> 01:40:36.560
And the reason I say I haven't in a long time is again,

1362
01:40:36.560 --> 01:40:39.040
what we were talking about earlier in the conversation.

1363
01:40:39.040 --> 01:40:41.720
I just realizing that it's God who provides,

1364
01:40:41.720 --> 01:40:44.800
I'm not taking it from people and using it.

1365
01:40:44.800 --> 01:40:48.000
I'm not, it's that the money is that

1366
01:40:48.000 --> 01:40:50.520
I'm pouring into other people,

1367
01:40:50.520 --> 01:40:52.640
and the money just happens to be something

1368
01:40:52.640 --> 01:40:55.920
that's exchanged or sent my way or whatever.

1369
01:40:55.920 --> 01:40:57.320
So that helps.

1370
01:40:57.320 --> 01:40:59.480
And therefore I'm like, oh, this is God

1371
01:40:59.480 --> 01:41:01.760
who's giving me the opportunity to go on a vacation.

1372
01:41:01.760 --> 01:41:04.240
And this is how I wanna spend the money or whatever.

1373
01:41:04.240 --> 01:41:09.240
But back before I believed in all of that,

1374
01:41:10.720 --> 01:41:14.120
yeah, absolutely, everything felt like this.

1375
01:41:14.120 --> 01:41:18.120
I felt responsible for how I stewarded

1376
01:41:18.120 --> 01:41:21.880
other people's money, and that's bogus.

1377
01:41:21.880 --> 01:41:24.400
God does not interact with us.

1378
01:41:24.680 --> 01:41:25.720
How would I put that?

1379
01:41:26.600 --> 01:41:31.600
Is that it's not about, God doesn't,

1380
01:41:33.920 --> 01:41:35.840
oh, why did I read this?

1381
01:41:36.880 --> 01:41:41.880
That it's not about how we, oh, that's what it is.

1382
01:41:42.680 --> 01:41:47.120
That God does not give us things

1383
01:41:47.120 --> 01:41:49.960
and provide for us in abundance

1384
01:41:49.960 --> 01:41:54.960
based off of how we steward our money.

1385
01:41:58.240 --> 01:41:59.960
They're not connected at all.

1386
01:41:59.960 --> 01:42:02.680
That is connected under the law.

1387
01:42:02.680 --> 01:42:05.400
Under the law, how we steward our money

1388
01:42:05.400 --> 01:42:07.480
is how God interacts with us.

1389
01:42:07.480 --> 01:42:11.920
But under the new covenant, if we choose a new reality,

1390
01:42:13.080 --> 01:42:16.120
meaning that God, if we choose new reality

1391
01:42:16.120 --> 01:42:19.640
that we live and exist and are sustained

1392
01:42:20.320 --> 01:42:21.640
by the character of God,

1393
01:42:21.640 --> 01:42:24.280
then God interacts with us based on his character,

1394
01:42:24.280 --> 01:42:26.480
not based on our actions.

1395
01:42:26.480 --> 01:42:28.680
So it doesn't matter whether we steward

1396
01:42:28.680 --> 01:42:31.880
his money well or not, he will,

1397
01:42:31.880 --> 01:42:33.680
which I know that sounds really weird,

1398
01:42:33.680 --> 01:42:37.000
but it's completely unrelated is my point.

1399
01:42:37.000 --> 01:42:38.480
He'll teach us things, and we're like,

1400
01:42:38.480 --> 01:42:40.480
hey, wait just a second, I need to get your attention

1401
01:42:40.480 --> 01:42:43.360
because of what you're doing with the money,

1402
01:42:43.360 --> 01:42:45.240
that's not reflective of my character,

1403
01:42:45.240 --> 01:42:46.920
and that's an issue.

1404
01:42:46.920 --> 01:42:49.040
But as far as like stewarding the money,

1405
01:42:49.040 --> 01:42:50.880
that has nothing whatsoever to do

1406
01:42:50.880 --> 01:42:53.640
with whether or not God gives us things in abundance

1407
01:42:53.640 --> 01:42:55.080
or whether or not he's good to us.

1408
01:42:55.080 --> 01:42:57.480
He's that way because that's who he is.

1409
01:42:57.480 --> 01:42:59.040
So what we wanna do is to choose,

1410
01:42:59.040 --> 01:43:00.680
instead of operating according to the tree of knowledge

1411
01:43:00.680 --> 01:43:02.800
of good and evil, but operate according to really

1412
01:43:02.800 --> 01:43:04.440
every other tree in the garden,

1413
01:43:04.440 --> 01:43:06.760
but let's just say the tree of life,

1414
01:43:06.760 --> 01:43:09.760
is that according to who his character is.

1415
01:43:09.760 --> 01:43:12.960
God, I receive and you interact with me

1416
01:43:12.960 --> 01:43:14.920
according to who you are.

1417
01:43:14.920 --> 01:43:15.840
So who are you?

1418
01:43:15.840 --> 01:43:17.960
Not according to what I do or don't do,

1419
01:43:17.960 --> 01:43:19.120
but according to who you are.

1420
01:43:19.120 --> 01:43:20.080
And I receive that.

1421
01:43:20.080 --> 01:43:21.680
And by receiving that Lord,

1422
01:43:21.680 --> 01:43:25.240
I am then changed to look more and more like you

1423
01:43:25.240 --> 01:43:28.080
because it's just, I'm just being revealed

1424
01:43:28.080 --> 01:43:29.680
more and more that I already look like you.

1425
01:43:29.680 --> 01:43:31.200
And therefore I'm going to

1426
01:43:34.600 --> 01:43:35.680
use my money.

1427
01:43:35.680 --> 01:43:37.840
I was trying to figure out another word instead of steward.

1428
01:43:37.840 --> 01:43:41.000
Use my money according to the character

1429
01:43:41.000 --> 01:43:43.840
that I am, which is born of you.

1430
01:43:43.840 --> 01:43:45.440
And that's what determines the stewarding

1431
01:43:45.440 --> 01:43:48.080
as opposed to I'm stewarding it well.

1432
01:43:48.080 --> 01:43:51.520
And so therefore God is pleased with me.

1433
01:43:51.520 --> 01:43:55.160
And therefore I know that I can,

1434
01:43:55.160 --> 01:43:59.480
that he'll bless me with more clients

1435
01:43:59.480 --> 01:44:01.480
or that he'll bless the business

1436
01:44:01.480 --> 01:44:06.480
or that I'm justified or okay to spend it on a vacation.

1437
01:44:08.720 --> 01:44:12.320
That has nothing whatsoever to do with how we steward it.

1438
01:44:12.320 --> 01:44:14.800
How we steward it, if I can use that word,

1439
01:44:15.640 --> 01:44:19.800
how we steward it is based off of our character

1440
01:44:19.800 --> 01:44:22.080
of who we are as a son of God,

1441
01:44:22.080 --> 01:44:24.440
completely unrelated to anything else.

1442
01:44:24.440 --> 01:44:26.680
That's us being who we are,

1443
01:44:26.680 --> 01:44:30.440
not trying to do something we're supposed to do.

1444
01:44:33.760 --> 01:44:35.040
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense

1445
01:44:35.040 --> 01:44:38.640
because we're giving from like a cheerful heart.

1446
01:44:38.640 --> 01:44:42.200
We're giving not because we're obliged to give

1447
01:44:42.200 --> 01:44:43.600
or obligated to give.

1448
01:44:43.600 --> 01:44:47.000
We're giving because we truly want to give back to God

1449
01:44:47.000 --> 01:44:48.160
what's already his.

1450
01:44:48.160 --> 01:44:52.200
And we're not doing it from the law of tithing 10%.

1451
01:44:52.200 --> 01:44:54.560
We're doing it from our heart being.

1452
01:44:54.560 --> 01:44:56.480
Yeah, a general state of heart.

1453
01:44:56.480 --> 01:44:58.680
Yeah, so that makes a lot of sense

1454
01:44:58.680 --> 01:45:00.160
that he's interacting with.

1455
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.840
us that way. It's not based on, which is an interesting shift for me, because I think

1456
01:45:05.840 --> 01:45:12.480
I was still living a little bit in the stewardship being associated with the blessing.

1457
01:45:13.120 --> 01:45:17.920
Correct. Because Robert Morris teaches on this too, right? Like he teaches

1458
01:45:18.880 --> 01:45:24.160
The Blessed Life. You might have read that or seen that. Okay, it's like his biggest thing.

1459
01:45:24.160 --> 01:45:29.920
He has a whole three-hour YouTube series. And then he wrote Beyond Blessed, which is all about

1460
01:45:29.920 --> 01:45:36.560
stewardship. So I've watched his three-hour thing. Jason's read his books. And I'm going to read his

1461
01:45:36.560 --> 01:45:43.360
Beyond Blessed books. It's the one on stewardship. So I was like, oh, that's interesting, because I

1462
01:45:43.360 --> 01:45:47.200
still was kind of thinking, oh, yeah, it's based on that. But it totally makes sense that it's not,

1463
01:45:47.200 --> 01:45:49.200
because under the New Covenant, it wouldn't be.

1464
01:45:51.040 --> 01:46:00.240
Stewardship is simply how we would steward money based off of our character, which should be God's

1465
01:46:00.240 --> 01:46:06.960
character. So that's how he would use money. That's how he would spend it. It's how he would

1466
01:46:08.000 --> 01:46:13.600
receive it. It's how he would whatever. So that's what we do. And we're just facilitating

1467
01:46:14.400 --> 01:46:22.080
the movement of money within the earth based off of being a son of God and ruling. That's how we're

1468
01:46:22.080 --> 01:46:27.760
ruling and having dominion is how in that particular way is how we're choosing to facilitate

1469
01:46:27.760 --> 01:46:33.200
the movement of money, which is what we refer to as stewardship. But the problem that I have

1470
01:46:33.200 --> 01:46:37.200
with stewardship, there's nothing wrong with that word at all. The reason I have it is like the word

1471
01:46:37.200 --> 01:46:45.920
belief is we have associations with that word, where the associations that we have with the word

1472
01:46:48.240 --> 01:46:57.840
steward relate to would be in connection with a law. It's like, well, we're stewarding things

1473
01:46:57.840 --> 01:47:03.440
because God gave it to us. And we have to know it's not ours. And then we have to know it's Lord.

1474
01:47:03.440 --> 01:47:07.520
And so therefore we better do the right thing with it, or God's going to get set and he's not

1475
01:47:07.520 --> 01:47:13.360
going to entrust us with more. Why? Because we weren't responsible. And God's like, no, no, no,

1476
01:47:13.360 --> 01:47:20.880
no, no. It's all about you acting like me. What would I do with it? It's you being, it's you

1477
01:47:20.880 --> 01:47:29.040
reflecting your character, not you doing the right thing, or, or even doing what God would do. It's

1478
01:47:29.040 --> 01:47:36.240
you being like God would be. And which might sound like a, a, like splitting hairs, but it's

1479
01:47:36.240 --> 01:47:41.520
not. There's a world of difference between the law versus no law and operating in freedom and

1480
01:47:41.520 --> 01:47:46.000
grace, et cetera. So there's nothing wrong with the word stewardship. It's just the place that we

1481
01:47:46.000 --> 01:47:52.720
need, that we just need to reframe in our, in our understanding that it's not a law. It's not

1482
01:47:52.720 --> 01:47:57.280
interacting with the Lord where there's tit for tat. And okay, if he, if he, if he entrusts us

1483
01:47:57.280 --> 01:48:06.080
with death, it's not, it's like, no, are you acting like me? Or are you not? Can I entrust

1484
01:48:06.080 --> 01:48:11.520
you to be me in this, in these situations? Cause if I can't, then I am not going to continue to

1485
01:48:11.520 --> 01:48:16.400
put you in those situations, but it's not that we're doing the right thing or not doing the

1486
01:48:16.400 --> 01:48:22.720
right thing. It's that no, are you being like me or are you not being like me? As it's a huge,

1487
01:48:23.360 --> 01:48:34.000
huge difference. But I don't know anybody. I was, I never thought about that. And I don't

1488
01:48:34.000 --> 01:48:39.840
know why I started this sentence, but I don't, well, I say, I don't know anybody. I hardly know

1489
01:48:39.840 --> 01:48:45.440
a single soul who believes that and operates like that. I know a few, they're very few and far

1490
01:48:45.440 --> 01:48:51.600
between stewardship has such a hold on all of us. That idea of like stewardship related to law

1491
01:48:51.600 --> 01:48:55.760
and related to God's interaction with us and God entrusting us with little and therefore

1492
01:48:55.760 --> 01:48:59.440
trust us with more. And all of that, again, according to the law, there's nothing wrong

1493
01:48:59.440 --> 01:49:02.720
with that, but understanding, according to the law, instead of understanding, according to

1494
01:49:02.720 --> 01:49:10.560
character is, is has such a hold on us that it's infiltrated all of the grace-filled churches.

1495
01:49:10.560 --> 01:49:15.200
I said infiltrated, meaning like they think it's this wonderful thing. They just use certain words

1496
01:49:15.200 --> 01:49:20.640
along stewardship actually is used more in grace-filled churches, I think than in non-grace

1497
01:49:20.640 --> 01:49:28.800
churches. And anyway, so. So being a good steward of what you've been given doesn't

1498
01:49:28.800 --> 01:49:34.880
mean that you'll be, or being really well, like responsible for, you know, what God gives you

1499
01:49:34.880 --> 01:49:41.600
and all of that, that doesn't mean that it will multiply. Like the multiplication comes from

1500
01:49:43.040 --> 01:49:49.120
us being formed into his character more and more. Is that kind of, maybe I'm reading that wrong.

1501
01:49:49.120 --> 01:49:57.200
I just, this is a different concept for me. No. Okay. So there's two principles in play at

1502
01:49:57.200 --> 01:49:59.920
the same time. There is the aspect that the

1503
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.240
Things will multiply, but that's not why we should do them.

1504
01:50:04.240 --> 01:50:07.200
When we handle something as a good steward,

1505
01:50:07.200 --> 01:50:08.960
let's use that word, handle something as a good steward,

1506
01:50:08.960 --> 01:50:11.400
is simply because we're being just like God is,

1507
01:50:11.400 --> 01:50:13.480
because we're His sons and we're being just like He was.

1508
01:50:13.480 --> 01:50:16.320
We're moving and facilitating money like He would.

1509
01:50:16.320 --> 01:50:18.560
And like He is doing with us right now,

1510
01:50:18.560 --> 01:50:20.080
again, we're not checking in with God

1511
01:50:20.080 --> 01:50:22.040
and then going and doing something on our own.

1512
01:50:22.040 --> 01:50:25.400
He and I, our spirits are unified and we're moving together

1513
01:50:25.400 --> 01:50:28.160
as opposed to me trying to do something on my own,

1514
01:50:28.160 --> 01:50:30.160
hoping He'll be happy about it.

1515
01:50:30.160 --> 01:50:32.600
You know, it's us, the two of us moving together as one,

1516
01:50:32.600 --> 01:50:33.640
our spirits as one,

1517
01:50:33.640 --> 01:50:36.960
facilitating the movement of money in a particular way.

1518
01:50:36.960 --> 01:50:39.600
When we move money in particular ways,

1519
01:50:39.600 --> 01:50:42.440
God of all beings knows the principles

1520
01:50:42.440 --> 01:50:43.960
by which He created money to work.

1521
01:50:43.960 --> 01:50:47.880
And He knows when money is moved in this particular way,

1522
01:50:47.880 --> 01:50:49.560
it will multiply.

1523
01:50:49.560 --> 01:50:50.720
It will multiply that way

1524
01:50:50.720 --> 01:50:52.960
according to the principle that He created.

1525
01:50:52.960 --> 01:50:56.280
But then what you really want to engage with

1526
01:50:57.120 --> 01:50:58.840
is when your spirit is involved,

1527
01:50:58.840 --> 01:51:00.840
then it will multiply exponentially

1528
01:51:00.840 --> 01:51:02.640
according to eternal principles,

1529
01:51:02.640 --> 01:51:04.000
which are very different

1530
01:51:04.000 --> 01:51:06.680
than the limited multiplication that will happen

1531
01:51:06.680 --> 01:51:11.160
because you're engaging with earthly principles.

1532
01:51:11.160 --> 01:51:14.320
But the earthly principles are still in play.

1533
01:51:14.320 --> 01:51:15.560
But what we always want

1534
01:51:15.560 --> 01:51:18.880
is we always want the higher one to be,

1535
01:51:18.880 --> 01:51:22.720
to overshadow the earthly one.

1536
01:51:22.720 --> 01:51:26.600
So, yeah, it's the same principle

1537
01:51:26.600 --> 01:51:29.200
as when Jesus was walking on water,

1538
01:51:29.200 --> 01:51:31.840
is that laws of physics are such

1539
01:51:31.840 --> 01:51:35.320
that the water operates a particular way.

1540
01:51:35.320 --> 01:51:37.800
And so He didn't change water,

1541
01:51:37.800 --> 01:51:41.040
but He just showed that, no,

1542
01:51:41.040 --> 01:51:45.320
the power and authority and principles of kingdom of heaven

1543
01:51:45.320 --> 01:51:48.120
are going to supersede the principles

1544
01:51:48.120 --> 01:51:51.800
by which earth operates.

1545
01:51:51.800 --> 01:51:54.400
So they're both in existence at the same time,

1546
01:51:54.400 --> 01:51:56.480
but one is superseding the other

1547
01:51:56.480 --> 01:52:01.480
and has the higher power in the moment.

1548
01:52:01.720 --> 01:52:03.480
Same thing when He told the wind and the waves

1549
01:52:03.480 --> 01:52:05.120
to be still or whatever.

1550
01:52:05.120 --> 01:52:06.680
He didn't change the wind and the waves

1551
01:52:06.680 --> 01:52:08.400
from being what they are,

1552
01:52:08.400 --> 01:52:10.680
but He brought in a higher principle.

1553
01:52:11.560 --> 01:52:13.680
So they were still wind and waves,

1554
01:52:13.680 --> 01:52:15.240
but He brought in a higher principle

1555
01:52:15.240 --> 01:52:17.040
that changed how they operated,

1556
01:52:17.040 --> 01:52:19.000
that brought things into more peace,

1557
01:52:19.000 --> 01:52:21.720
more order, less chaos, whatever,

1558
01:52:22.680 --> 01:52:24.520
multiplied the loaves and the fishes.

1559
01:52:25.520 --> 01:52:27.440
They didn't cease being loaves and fishes,

1560
01:52:27.440 --> 01:52:30.000
He just multiplied them,

1561
01:52:30.000 --> 01:52:31.720
according to an eternal principle,

1562
01:52:31.720 --> 01:52:33.680
because He brought the kingdom of heaven in

1563
01:52:33.680 --> 01:52:35.680
to the same place that the kingdom of earth was in.

1564
01:52:35.680 --> 01:52:37.320
And whenever the kingdom of heaven is brought in

1565
01:52:37.320 --> 01:52:39.520
to the same place the kingdom of earth is in

1566
01:52:39.520 --> 01:52:41.560
and the kingdom of heaven is given the authority,

1567
01:52:41.560 --> 01:52:44.080
it'll always supersede the kingdom of earth.

1568
01:52:44.080 --> 01:52:46.360
So all of those laws that you're talking about,

1569
01:52:46.360 --> 01:52:47.520
they're still in effect,

1570
01:52:47.520 --> 01:52:49.200
but you don't notice them anymore

1571
01:52:49.200 --> 01:52:51.120
because the kingdom of heaven comes in

1572
01:52:51.120 --> 01:52:53.240
and supersedes any results

1573
01:52:53.240 --> 01:52:55.280
that the principles of earth could do.

1574
01:52:56.600 --> 01:52:59.560
So, but the principles of earth are still in operation,

1575
01:52:59.560 --> 01:53:03.040
but they're overshadowed by what is happening,

1576
01:53:03.040 --> 01:53:05.760
you know, principles of the kingdom.

1577
01:53:05.760 --> 01:53:07.760
Only if the principle of the kingdom

1578
01:53:07.760 --> 01:53:09.120
is given the authority in the moment,

1579
01:53:09.120 --> 01:53:10.560
and the only way it can be given the authority

1580
01:53:10.560 --> 01:53:12.000
is if we let go of control.

1581
01:53:12.920 --> 01:53:16.160
We can't say, God, I'm moving in your name,

1582
01:53:16.160 --> 01:53:17.480
will you bless this?

1583
01:53:17.480 --> 01:53:19.160
I'm gonna go do it on my flesh.

1584
01:53:19.160 --> 01:53:20.480
We have to let go

1585
01:53:20.480 --> 01:53:23.680
and we no longer have control over what happens.

1586
01:53:23.680 --> 01:53:25.040
And then God can move in.

1587
01:53:25.040 --> 01:53:27.680
And then he gets to decide what happens.

1588
01:53:27.680 --> 01:53:30.160
Does it, you know, did it happen in the way

1589
01:53:30.160 --> 01:53:31.040
that we want it to,

1590
01:53:31.040 --> 01:53:31.960
or did it happen in the way

1591
01:53:31.960 --> 01:53:33.520
that we wouldn't want it to in our flesh?

1592
01:53:33.520 --> 01:53:35.400
Well, that's what the kingdom of heaven said

1593
01:53:35.400 --> 01:53:38.480
was the best thing to happen in this situation.

1594
01:53:38.480 --> 01:53:41.560
So it doesn't always mean that the money's gonna multiply.

1595
01:53:41.560 --> 01:53:43.280
You're always gonna be provided for

1596
01:53:43.280 --> 01:53:44.960
whether or not it multiplies.

1597
01:53:44.960 --> 01:53:45.960
Meaning like in the spirit,

1598
01:53:45.960 --> 01:53:47.960
you're always in a state of provision.

1599
01:53:48.960 --> 01:53:52.480
But do we want money to multiply

1600
01:53:52.480 --> 01:53:53.920
or do we want the kingdom of heaven

1601
01:53:53.920 --> 01:53:56.040
to have its say in the moment?

1602
01:53:56.040 --> 01:53:57.520
That's what we have to choose.

1603
01:53:59.880 --> 01:54:01.080
I love that.

1604
01:54:01.080 --> 01:54:03.080
Okay, that's awesome.

1605
01:54:03.080 --> 01:54:06.760
I am dying to know how your health is.

1606
01:54:06.760 --> 01:54:09.080
I am really curious.

1607
01:54:09.080 --> 01:54:13.400
Looks like things have cleared up and are you better?

1608
01:54:13.400 --> 01:54:14.920
That's really sweet of you to ask.

1609
01:54:14.920 --> 01:54:16.360
It's a lot better.

1610
01:54:16.360 --> 01:54:17.600
I'm doing a detox

1611
01:54:18.240 --> 01:54:20.880
and I think I'm on week eight, I think.

1612
01:54:20.880 --> 01:54:21.720
So I need to make,

1613
01:54:21.720 --> 01:54:24.360
I need, but what happens with this detox

1614
01:54:24.360 --> 01:54:26.560
is you hit, you go through different levels

1615
01:54:26.560 --> 01:54:29.440
and once you hit a particular level

1616
01:54:29.440 --> 01:54:31.560
and if you plateau,

1617
01:54:31.560 --> 01:54:33.400
well then, if you don't plateau

1618
01:54:33.400 --> 01:54:34.840
and you're continuing to heal,

1619
01:54:34.840 --> 01:54:35.680
well then you stay with it.

1620
01:54:35.680 --> 01:54:37.520
But if you plateau, you need to go to the next level.

1621
01:54:37.520 --> 01:54:40.480
Well, I've plateaued with level two.

1622
01:54:40.480 --> 01:54:42.480
So I need to go to another level.

1623
01:54:43.480 --> 01:54:46.520
And I just haven't, I just haven't done it yet.

1624
01:54:47.520 --> 01:54:48.680
As weird as it sounds,

1625
01:54:48.680 --> 01:54:51.200
it's not like I've been so busy with everything.

1626
01:54:51.200 --> 01:54:54.760
I've been emotionally taxed by a lot of other things.

1627
01:54:54.760 --> 01:54:56.560
So I'm going to need to research what it is

1628
01:54:56.560 --> 01:54:59.160
that I need to do to go into level three

1629
01:54:59.160 --> 01:55:00.200
or to do the next.

1630
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:13.000
And from what I've researched so far, it's going to be a bit of a challenge to do, which I know sounds really odd, but just because of my situation, it's going to be a bit of a challenge.

1631
01:55:13.000 --> 01:55:21.000
The drops go in water, and it would be best if I took a bath in it and if I sprayed with it and whatever.

1632
01:55:21.000 --> 01:55:26.000
The problem with that is that it then goes down the drain, and we have a septic system.

1633
01:55:26.000 --> 01:55:31.000
And this stuff cannot go in a septic system because, obviously, it kills bacteria.

1634
01:55:31.000 --> 01:55:39.000
It'll kill all the bacteria in the septic system, and that's what keeps the septic system working, is the bacteria breaking down all of the stuff.

1635
01:55:39.000 --> 01:55:41.000
So it would kill the bacteria.

1636
01:55:41.000 --> 01:55:48.000
So I'm like, how am I supposed to take a bath every day if I can't dump the water down the drain?

1637
01:55:48.000 --> 01:55:54.000
I literally have to bucket it out of the bath, and I'm like, how do I do this?

1638
01:55:54.000 --> 01:56:01.000
So I haven't mentioned to Ed that that's a challenge that I haven't figured out.

1639
01:56:01.000 --> 01:56:03.000
Same thing with spraying.

1640
01:56:03.000 --> 01:56:09.000
I might be able to go outside in my bathing suit and spray down.

1641
01:56:09.000 --> 01:56:11.000
Someone told me that it bleaches.

1642
01:56:11.000 --> 01:56:18.000
I've never had that issue yet, but maybe I've never used it on anything close to any of my clothes.

1643
01:56:18.000 --> 01:56:20.000
But they said, yeah, you do bleach.

1644
01:56:20.000 --> 01:56:21.000
It does bleach clothes.

1645
01:56:21.000 --> 01:56:27.000
So, yeah, when you spray yourself, you need to let your air dry before you rub it in.

1646
01:56:27.000 --> 01:56:34.000
The water with the solution, it rubs it into your skin, but then let yourself air dry before you get dressed.

1647
01:56:34.000 --> 01:56:37.000
You're supposed to do that three times a day.

1648
01:56:37.000 --> 01:56:40.000
Then you're supposed to take a daily bath.

1649
01:56:40.000 --> 01:56:47.000
And so the thing is that I have to go outside to spray myself because if I do it in the bath, then I'm going to run all of that.

1650
01:56:47.000 --> 01:56:51.000
All of that is going to go down the drain.

1651
01:56:51.000 --> 01:56:55.000
So anyway, that's the challenge.

1652
01:56:55.000 --> 01:57:02.000
It's like really planning it out and making sure it all works together.

1653
01:57:02.000 --> 01:57:03.000
But I am healing.

1654
01:57:03.000 --> 01:57:06.000
I'm very grateful for that.

1655
01:57:06.000 --> 01:57:08.000
So we'll just see.

1656
01:57:08.000 --> 01:57:09.000
So anyway.

1657
01:57:09.000 --> 01:57:10.000
Wow.

1658
01:57:10.000 --> 01:57:12.000
Well, thanks very much for asking.

1659
01:57:12.000 --> 01:57:13.000
Yeah, I'm so glad.

1660
01:57:13.000 --> 01:57:15.000
I've been praying for you and thinking about you.

1661
01:57:15.000 --> 01:57:20.000
And thank you.

1662
01:57:20.000 --> 01:57:21.000
You're welcome.

1663
01:57:21.000 --> 01:57:27.000
And I hope that what we talked about was helpful and, you know, gave you some stuff that you needed.

1664
01:57:27.000 --> 01:57:30.000
And I mean, obviously, all of this, we can't be convinced by someone else.

1665
01:57:31.000 --> 01:57:38.000
It is just something that no matter how great and logical and hopeful it all sounds, it's just something you just have to work through with you and the Lord.

1666
01:57:38.000 --> 01:57:53.000
And then remember that you won't be, if you just try to implement it without it, without changing in yourself, in your relationship with the Lord, and the fact that he provides for you and not many, and many is not as means of providing for you.

1667
01:57:53.000 --> 01:57:56.000
It'll be a coping mechanism where it'll just come up again.

1668
01:57:57.000 --> 01:58:05.000
Not only that, but sometimes, and I'm not saying this to scare you or whatever, it's just something I want to mention just in case you were to try it and get frustrated.

1669
01:58:05.000 --> 01:58:23.000
If we don't increase our prices, prices in spirit, with a strong decision behind it that we believe truly in our relationship with the Lord that this is right, then it can be in our, it can be in our flesh, and it can just, it won't have the spirit won't be in the new price.

1670
01:58:23.000 --> 01:58:25.000
If that makes sense.

1671
01:58:25.000 --> 01:58:37.000
So I highly recommend just like what I'm doing with the sabbatical, you know, pulling away, you know, that's like on a bigger scale, you know, pulling away from the program, you know, work on me, you have to do it first.

1672
01:58:37.000 --> 01:58:46.000
You really have to walk that out between you and the Lord make that real then step out in faith. This doesn't have to take two months to do. It just has to be real.

1673
01:58:47.000 --> 01:58:56.000
It can happen in a moment. You know, it can happen in whatever but it has to be real and then you're stepping out on the faith that Lord, I am choosing that this is reality.

1674
01:58:56.000 --> 01:58:59.000
Again, it can happen in a moment, or what I'm choosing this.

1675
01:58:59.000 --> 01:59:05.000
This is what I believe, and here I go, but do it in that spirit of faith.

1676
01:59:06.000 --> 01:59:19.000
Willful decision that you're making that that's what God said is true and you were choosing it as your reality willfully and intentionally no one's making you, you're not just, you're not being convinced, making that decision and then God, I'm risking it.

1677
01:59:20.000 --> 01:59:26.000
And by, by, how do I say that I'm, I'm making a risk.

1678
01:59:26.000 --> 01:59:41.000
This is a risk taking action of me, believing this and because I believe this or because this, this is what I choose is reality, because I believe that you're saying to me that it's reality, not just because I want it to be, because you're saying it.

1679
01:59:42.000 --> 01:59:49.000
This is where I think you are, this is where I think your characters reflecting itself is where I think your character is, therefore I'm going to sew into that.

1680
01:59:49.000 --> 01:59:53.000
In other words, I am going to increase my prices and I may lose all these clients.

1681
01:59:53.000 --> 01:59:58.000
That's what the risk is, you're going to lose clients, you're going to lose potential clients.

1682
01:59:58.000 --> 02:00:00.000
It's like God, so you have.

1683
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:03.060
to know between you and the Lord, God, this is what I truly

1684
02:00:03.060 --> 02:00:07.620
think is, is the is where you are. And God, I'm making a

1685
02:00:07.620 --> 02:00:12.420
strong decision. Not I hope this works. I hope this works doesn't

1686
02:00:12.620 --> 02:00:13.260
isn't fake.

1687
02:00:14.500 --> 02:00:17.500
Well, it's interesting, because when I when I let go of the

1688
02:00:17.500 --> 02:00:23.620
1997 and decided just on the 3997, it was only a week ago.

1689
02:00:24.140 --> 02:00:28.220
And as soon as I did it, I was so scared to do it. So it was

1690
02:00:29.200 --> 02:00:31.680
what did you say you went from what to what?

1691
02:00:32.000 --> 02:00:37.460
So I let so the 1997 program was my lower tier offer. And I had

1692
02:00:37.460 --> 02:00:42.120
it was because, well, I didn't create it for my for any choice

1693
02:00:42.120 --> 02:00:46.000
that I had, necessarily. I created it so that I could give

1694
02:00:46.000 --> 02:00:49.240
this work to more people for a better investment to make it

1695
02:00:49.240 --> 02:00:52.280
more available. Then I realized the burden that I was going to

1696
02:00:52.280 --> 02:00:57.080
carry with it after. And I've carried a burden for so long,

1697
02:00:57.180 --> 02:00:59.940
because I don't feel like I'm fully supporting those ladies,

1698
02:00:59.940 --> 02:01:02.220
and they're not getting what they could be out of the

1699
02:01:02.220 --> 02:01:05.460
program. And I think some people go in the lower one, because

1700
02:01:05.460 --> 02:01:09.300
they can, because it's available. And so for a long

1701
02:01:09.300 --> 02:01:12.580
time, I didn't want to let it go, because a lot of people

1702
02:01:12.580 --> 02:01:15.340
liked it, because they could pay less, and they were getting

1703
02:01:15.340 --> 02:01:18.200
something. But the burden I carried was they weren't

1704
02:01:18.200 --> 02:01:21.380
getting everything that they could get, like they had no

1705
02:01:21.380 --> 02:01:26.060
idea what else was possible. Yeah. So when I dropped it a

1706
02:01:26.060 --> 02:01:33.120
week ago, I felt like in the spirit, I felt so much peace.

1707
02:01:33.920 --> 02:01:39.680
My flesh was afraid. So it was interesting, because I'm like,

1708
02:01:39.760 --> 02:01:41.880
because when you left that message, I thought, yeah, I feel

1709
02:01:41.880 --> 02:01:45.880
peace about it. Like, I've been so scared to let that one go,

1710
02:01:45.880 --> 02:01:50.560
but I feel peace. And I've been listening to, you know, God and

1711
02:01:50.560 --> 02:01:54.080
really just tuning into how I'm feeling. And like, this is

1712
02:01:54.080 --> 02:01:57.820
exactly what I get to do. And I know it, because I want to

1713
02:01:57.820 --> 02:02:03.140
concentrate my effort and energy into these weekly meetings with

1714
02:02:03.140 --> 02:02:07.220
people, because that's what helps the most, right, is community

1715
02:02:07.220 --> 02:02:11.340
and developmental complex trauma, a lot of it is relational

1716
02:02:11.340 --> 02:02:14.540
trauma. So for them to come in and have a community where they

1717
02:02:14.540 --> 02:02:18.260
can be vulnerable, and where, you know, it's just so different

1718
02:02:18.260 --> 02:02:23.380
with that level of support, and so let it go. And I feel so much

1719
02:02:23.380 --> 02:02:26.280
peace, the only thing that comes up is my flesh, being

1720
02:02:26.280 --> 02:02:30.360
afraid that people won't come in. But then at the same time,

1721
02:02:30.400 --> 02:02:34.240
the spirit, I go, it doesn't matter, because I know this is

1722
02:02:34.240 --> 02:02:40.200
where I get to be. Yeah, I just get to sit with that and be okay

1723
02:02:40.200 --> 02:02:43.300
with the outcomes up to him. And whatever he's going to do, he's

1724
02:02:43.300 --> 02:02:47.400
going to do. But I feel confident in this decision. At

1725
02:02:47.400 --> 02:02:50.440
least right now. I mean, things could change. But this is how I

1726
02:02:50.440 --> 02:02:51.400
feel at the moment.

1727
02:02:52.020 --> 02:02:53.300
Yeah, good.

1728
02:02:55.300 --> 02:02:59.500
So when you said about the piece that really resonated with me,

1729
02:03:00.620 --> 02:03:02.920
it's okay that my flesh is a little bit afraid. I think I

1730
02:03:02.920 --> 02:03:07.300
just needed to work through. It's okay. You know, I'm gonna

1731
02:03:07.300 --> 02:03:10.260
be okay. Like, you know, it doesn't mean that anything bad

1732
02:03:10.260 --> 02:03:13.060
is going to happen. It's just just a little bit of fear. And

1733
02:03:13.060 --> 02:03:16.780
God is God. So why? Why do I need to even listen and

1734
02:03:16.780 --> 02:03:22.520
entertain that? Just Yeah, go and surrender and trust God

1735
02:03:22.520 --> 02:03:26.560
that? Because it really does make a difference, Ashley, for

1736
02:03:26.560 --> 02:03:29.840
these women to come in and have two calls a week, they can be

1737
02:03:29.840 --> 02:03:34.840
on some versus one call a month. Like there's just no comparison.

1738
02:03:35.200 --> 02:03:40.420
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, I know. And that's why I offer

1739
02:03:40.440 --> 02:03:43.680
what it is that I do, too. It's like, this is what works.

1740
02:03:44.180 --> 02:03:47.580
There's no comparison. And I'm only interested in what works

1741
02:03:47.580 --> 02:03:50.500
not in teaching someone something. So I have so many

1742
02:03:50.500 --> 02:03:53.100
people that want to know what it is that I teach. And the only

1743
02:03:53.100 --> 02:03:56.660
thing I offer is a program. They want to just know they want to

1744
02:03:56.660 --> 02:03:59.220
learn about it. And I don't offer them any way to learn

1745
02:03:59.220 --> 02:04:01.900
about Nope, I've got the program. It's like people who

1746
02:04:01.900 --> 02:04:04.820
and I tell people that it's like, it's about living it not

1747
02:04:04.820 --> 02:04:07.980
about learning it. And so that's all that I offer. And I just

1748
02:04:07.980 --> 02:04:11.340
remind people, it's like so many people want to teach. So that's

1749
02:04:11.360 --> 02:04:14.940
great. But what I do is the hard stuff is walking being willing

1750
02:04:14.940 --> 02:04:17.400
being someone who's willing to walk someone through else

1751
02:04:17.400 --> 02:04:21.960
through the mess. And most people won't do that. So I know

1752
02:04:21.960 --> 02:04:25.280
that I'm not offering that other but everyone else is offering

1753
02:04:25.280 --> 02:04:28.020
that you can get, you know, something from somewhere else.

1754
02:04:28.020 --> 02:04:31.160
And they're like, Well, nobody else teaches for, you know, you

1755
02:04:31.160 --> 02:04:36.320
know, rest of like, I know, but, you know, anyway, I had someone

1756
02:04:36.320 --> 02:04:39.480
asked me, is there anyone that teaches what you teach, but for

1757
02:04:39.500 --> 02:04:43.500
free? I said, I'm sorry. No, I said, I literally don't know

1758
02:04:43.500 --> 02:04:48.240
anyone who teaches of what I teach, like as in like, the

1759
02:04:48.240 --> 02:04:51.540
program, like you teach it like it's a module, you know, and

1760
02:04:51.540 --> 02:04:54.660
what you teach about, like inner inner healing and all of that,

1761
02:04:54.980 --> 02:04:58.500
as someone else, you know, teaches what teaches it in like,

1762
02:04:59.040 --> 02:04:59.820
in context of

1763
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:05.040
they're a larger thing. I said, and then there's other people. I said, there's people who believe

1764
02:05:05.040 --> 02:05:10.160
what I believe about rest and whatever, you know, and there's other people like Tommy Miller or

1765
02:05:10.160 --> 02:05:17.280
whoever I said, they teach, they believe so much about what I believe said, but they don't. And

1766
02:05:17.280 --> 02:05:21.840
they do it for free. I said, Hey, you can go watch them. They've got church service and whatever,

1767
02:05:21.840 --> 02:05:26.240
but they're, they're just going to teach on a whole bunch of stuff. So there's no one that I

1768
02:05:26.560 --> 02:05:33.600
that teaches what I teach. So they pursued Tommy Miller and some other people for,

1769
02:05:33.600 --> 02:05:37.600
for a while, trying to glean stuff for a year. And when it didn't work, they came back

1770
02:05:38.320 --> 02:05:44.240
and they were finally willing to pay the pay the program. So I was like, I know it because

1771
02:05:44.240 --> 02:05:49.840
that other stuff is just teaching. It doesn't, it doesn't help you live it. And that's what

1772
02:05:49.840 --> 02:05:54.960
people keep not understanding. Oh, well, where can I learn this? Like for one thing, very few

1773
02:05:54.960 --> 02:06:00.160
people teach this, but there are some, and you can learn it somewhere just like I did. You know,

1774
02:06:00.160 --> 02:06:03.520
I learned it experientially with the word, but I learned it for a few things, you know, from other

1775
02:06:03.520 --> 02:06:09.120
people, some things that other people taught me. I said that I had to walk it out. And that's what

1776
02:06:09.120 --> 02:06:13.280
I help people with. I said, nobody that I know helped you walk it out. Like, I mean, like to

1777
02:06:13.280 --> 02:06:19.840
the extent that I do. Um, but, uh, so anyway, so they eventually came back, but I do like what

1778
02:06:19.840 --> 02:06:25.360
you're saying. You, you want to spend all of your time, effort, and energy in the part that works.

1779
02:06:26.160 --> 02:06:31.440
So I only offer one program. I don't offer like one for the beginners, one for the, whatever

1780
02:06:31.440 --> 02:06:37.600
I've thought about it. I'm seriously considering it, but right now I love the simplicity of pouring

1781
02:06:37.600 --> 02:06:46.240
everything into one group. So, yeah. So I agree with you. I think you'll enjoy that. Yeah. Well,

1782
02:06:46.320 --> 02:06:55.120
I had no idea that it was two hours. I know. Oh, time always flies. I think one of our longest

1783
02:06:55.120 --> 02:07:01.200
calls was like three or four hours. I feel like it was. Oh wow. I remember when we had like a

1784
02:07:01.200 --> 02:07:09.920
marathon call. Oh my gosh. It was so long, but, um, yeah, time seems to just fly, which is awesome.

1785
02:07:09.920 --> 02:07:17.920
So thank you. And I know that we have our, I think we have our July call coming up. Maybe it's

1786
02:07:17.920 --> 02:07:25.200
the 20th. So yes, I think, is that the, would you remember what that's the, uh, wait a minute.

1787
02:07:25.760 --> 02:07:32.400
Let me look. I think it's the 20th because I think the 20th is a Thursday. Yeah. Yes.

1788
02:07:33.520 --> 02:07:39.680
That's perfect. So I will see you on the 20th and I will be pondering through all this. If you,

1789
02:07:39.680 --> 02:07:44.080
if you're, I don't know if you're able to send a link to the recording so I can download it. I

1790
02:07:44.080 --> 02:07:50.480
would love to re-listen to this and just like let it percolate more if that's possible. Yeah. Um,

1791
02:07:50.480 --> 02:07:56.400
so I'll give you access to the recordings. I no longer allow, uh, provide access to download,

1792
02:07:56.400 --> 02:08:03.040
but I provide access to view it on their account on, on my website. So everyone has their own

1793
02:08:03.040 --> 02:08:10.000
account. So they sign in and everyone can only access their videos. Oh, I didn't know about that.

1794
02:08:10.000 --> 02:08:16.960
That's awesome. Cool. Well, that's perfect. I'll do that then. And, um, yeah, thank you so much.

1795
02:08:16.960 --> 02:08:23.120
And you're welcome. Yeah. Anything you need from me, any prayer, anything that I can support you

1796
02:08:23.120 --> 02:08:29.440
with? Are you good? I appreciate it. Um, I think, I think I'm good now. Things are going well.

1797
02:08:29.440 --> 02:08:33.840
They're just chugging along. And so I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen at the end of

1798
02:08:33.840 --> 02:08:39.840
the summer and by the end of the summer. And until then I'm enjoying, I'm enjoying the season. So

1799
02:08:40.400 --> 02:08:45.440
thank you though. Awesome. Well, enjoy and yeah, we'll be in touch soon. I'm sure.

1800
02:08:46.080 --> 02:08:52.320
Okay. Well I'll see you on the 20th. Yeah, absolutely. Bye. Bye.