Alright, so today I want to talk to us a little bit about making your leadership prophetic.
And I want to share some of the best practices that I've learned doing this.
You know, for me, this has been such a big deal because I've gone through this process
of always feeling the conflict between, well, these are best leadership and business practices
and yet there's the spiritual stuff, which basically amounts to be kind, don't fire anyone
and don't say harsh words, you know, so of course I exaggerate.
But what I found is that many Christian leaders, especially those in ministry, I found are
very hesitant to have hard conversations because there's no framework for that.
There's no clear framework on, you know, what does that actually mean?
How do I, how do I do that?
How do I, you know, what are the boundaries of this?
So I want to talk about two elements of making your leadership prophetic.
So by prophetic, it means it starts in God's heart and works outward.
So let's give a definition to that.
So what we're saying is, what if our leadership is informed from our yoke, our partnership
with the Lord, because we start with His heart and then we speak to other people's hearts,
then their heads.
You know, if you speak to people's heads, what happens is they will, because a lot of,
I think what, what causes most believers to get stuck is this simple idea.
They try to think through things to figure out what they should believe.
But you're not wired that way, right?
Your spirit man, your upstairs you has faculties and capabilities.
One of them is the ability to believe.
So when your heart, which I'm not talking about your emotions, when I say your heart,
I'm talking about your spirit man, your spirit person, the real eternal you that was born
again by the Spirit of God when you got saved.
That you, that new you, when you tell your, when your mind knows what your heart believes,
your mind knows how to work.
It sets your mind free.
Oh, we believe that?
Oh, well in that case, what does this mean?
How do we do that?
How do we implement that?
Just like we do when you think about, you know, when you're waiting on the Lord and
you get a word and then you turn it into a plan, that mapping process, your mind can
serve you best when it knows what your heart believes.
You see this with Mary.
In Luke 1, Mary says she pondered in her heart, sorry, she treasured in her heart and pondered
in her mind, in that order.
Beautiful.
And so what we're learning there is Mary didn't ponder in her mind to figure out what she
should treasure.
She treasured first and then pondered.
So what happens is, I think your IQ goes up.
I think you go into a whole new level of brilliance and execution, even if you're the only believer
in the organization, it doesn't matter.
Because what you're doing is you're functioning now, not as a Christian, you're functioning
as a Kingdom person in fellowship with God.
And what I meant by not as a Christian is, it's not just Christian ethics.
Well, be nice, be kind, don't steal, pay your taxes.
You know, I'm not talking about that stuff.
I'm talking about how does the Kingdom invade with God's goodness in His heart, partner
with you to bring goodness to everyone around you.
Well part of bringing that goodness is learning these two things.
One, calling your team up.
And two, celebrating heroes.
These are two of the most powerful things, but I want to get really practical about them.
So when you talk about calling your team up, you know, you can call people out, but when
you call them up, that's when they change.
And I've found that to the extent you call them out, that's the extent you can call them
up.
But if you just call them up, oh, you're more than that, you're great, don't worry about
it, then what happens is there's no change.
So you have to call them out to say, this is not you, and then say, this is you.
So one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is to call them up.
Look, only love does that, right?
It's easy to not do that.
It's easier to ignore the problem, to just live with it.
Working around them is not a loving thing to do.
Having the hard conversation is not what good leaders do, and it's certainly not what kingdom
leaders do.
So it's not kind to do it as a parent, and it's not kind to do it as a leader.
I can tell you, when we were doing a lot of parenting stuff, the number of times we said
to parents, if you do not correct this in your child now, which will take a little bit
of pain, the world will correct it later on, and it will take a lot more pain.
So the issue, it's the same, you know, parenting and leadership have a lot in common, right?
So here are some questions I want to ask you.
Is there someone in your team, think of a name, if you need to, someone in your team
that you've been doing one of three things, avoiding the hard conversation, working around
them, or
or letting things slide a bit too long?
Think about that for a second.
If you do, why don't you write down a name?
That would be really helpful.
So, is there someone in your team
where you've been avoiding the hard conversation,
either working around them, you know what I mean by that,
just, we'll just not invite them to the meeting
or accommodate them or just let them have their say
and then do something else,
working around them, which is not loving,
or just letting things slide a bit too long?
Look, every one of us as leaders at some point do this.
Even when you know this, you do this, right?
We all do this.
And so, here's the thing.
If you have been doing one of those three things,
then the question is, when is it time to call them up?
Here are two guidelines.
One, when it's disruptive to the team,
or two, it's disruptive to them, right?
So, if you've got that name,
the question is, is this disrupting the team
or is this actually holding them back
in their own growth and development?
If that is it, that is your flag,
your red flag, time to move.
So, here's practically how you do that.
Number one, create self-awareness.
I start these sentences, when I sit down with them,
don't get into a different emotional conversation
that you can't now transition into this conversation.
You know what I mean.
It got so nice that you didn't know how to bring this up now
because it's all weird.
So, I start with, are you aware?
And then I say it,
and then I give them one very specific example.
Are you aware that in meetings you do this?
In fact, on Tuesday, you talked over everyone in the room,
whatever the thing might be, right?
So, are you aware?
And then say what the thing is.
Then I say, because they need an out,
you did not represent yourself well when you did that.
That's useful language
because what you're immediately passing on
is that you have a higher opinion of them.
So, remember the Kruger-Dunning effect.
To remind you again,
the Kruger-Dunning effect is something we all do.
And the Kruger-Dunning effect
is that because you have a weakness in an area,
you cannot see your weakness,
that's why it's your weakness, right?
Which means you cannot recognize competence in that area
because it's your weakness, you cannot see.
So, you ask this person in your team,
if you ask them on a scale of one to 10,
and they go, I'm a solid nine,
and you go, yeah,
but the problem is the scale's out of 100,
and you are a solid nine, this is true.
So, the problem is they can't see the scale, right?
Because their inability,
so here's the net net of the Kruger-Dunning effect.
People overrate their weaknesses
and underrate their strengths.
Oh, I don't know really,
you see professors with this,
oh, I don't really have much to say,
or people who are just deep thinkers,
but always get kinda quiet in the background
that you have to draw in.
They're like, oh, I don't know if I can do that,
because they underrate their,
so that's the inverse Kruger-Dunning effect.
Either way, here's three things you need
when you're doing this,
three things you wanna do.
One, show them you have a higher opinion of them.
That's what makes your leadership prophetic, right?
This is where you go to the Lord
and you can ask him three questions to help with that.
Father, when you look through my eyes,
how do you see them?
This is so useful.
And you say, well, they're not believers.
That doesn't make any difference.
He sees them, right?
Of course he does.
Two, what tone would you use to help them the most?
And three, is there a key you wanna give me
in talking to them?
So, Father, when you look through my eyes,
how do you see them?
Two, what tone would you use to help them the most?
And three, is there a key?
You say, well, it's gonna be a gentle tone.
Yeah, it's gentle, but it can also be clear.
It can be, I mean, a disciplined tone
can also be kind if done properly.
So, we're talking about use the tone.
So, what is it I'm gonna say, use the tone?
So, I said there were three things to do this.
One, higher opinion of them,
ask the Lord the three questions.
Two, get their agreement.
I think you're better than that.
Don't you agree?
Hey, John, I think you're better than that.
Don't you agree?
And I don't think that's who you are.
Agreed, you're waiting for the agreement
to put that self to the side
and let them step into someone new.
And then three, give them someone to be, right?
Hey, who would you like to be in a situation like that?
Remember that example I just gave you
of what you did on Tuesday in the meeting?
But tell me who would you really like to be in a situation?
Let's discuss what does that look like?
So, did you notice I called them out
and then called them in?
them up and I did those three steps. I showed that I had a higher opinion of them than they
had of themselves. I get their agreement and then I give them someone to be. And we role
play it. Okay, let's test how that would work. Next time we're in a meeting, how would that
work?
This simple exercise is so simple to do, people will love you forever. Because at some point,
even if they're a little annoyed with you at the time, they will recognize that it took
love and care to do that. Because if you didn't care, you wouldn't go through this exercise.
So this is really huge for you to do this.
So remember, at the end, people remember how you made them feel more than what you said.
So making them feel like you have a higher opinion of them, man, they'll be your person
forever. They will love you in return for this loving gesture. Even if you have to be
really to the point. I mean, even in the last week, we did something like this. Jenny and
I had to speak to someone and we had to go through this process. And I started kind and
then I had to get right to it. And when I got right to it, because of the nature of
the person we were talking to, I had to be a little more blunt. And being a little blunt
and saying, that's what it is. And then they talked and then I went back to it two or three
times and I said, but that's not who you are. This is you because I've seen you in meetings
and you pitch up and you do your thing and the whole atmosphere rises because, yay, she's
in the meeting. How cool is that? So I wanted her to know. I remember talking to a pastor,
a senior pastor, and we were working together and I called him out on something and I started
calling him up and he said, man, you're on my case all the time. I said, oh, I'm sorry.
It's clear I have a higher opinion of you than you have of yourself. And he said, how
do you figure that? And I said, because why would I make this suggestion if I didn't
think you were capable of it? Right. If I was asking a five year old to go for driving
lessons, that would be ridiculous. So clearly I have a higher view of your capacity. So
let me tell you why I have a higher view of your capacity, because I've seen you do this.
I've seen you do that. I've seen that situation. So I come prepared with real practical examples.
Right. So the real practical examples, when you speak to someone, the worst thing you
can do is generalize. That is the worst. Do not leave it to the imagination. This is deeply
unkind. Well, you know, you have a tendency to be arrogant. What the heck does that mean?
I don't even know what to do with that. So in that particular structure, you know, I
want to say to you that you have to be precise. On Tuesday, you did this. You know, two weeks
ago we were in that situation. You did that. It's the second time. I like to have two examples,
not three or five. You don't make him feel like they've been analyzed to death. But one
or two clear examples so that if it's just one example, well, that was a one off. I was
having a bad day. Two examples. And so be precise with real examples and don't draw
generalized conclusions. You know, you think you're the only person whose opinions matter
and you came to that conclusion because they always talk over everyone. Well, that may not
be the reason they're talking about everyone. There are lots of reasons that could could cause
that. So don't draw a big, generalized conclusion. Just be extremely specific. Stay with that.
And then when you call them up, you can generalize because I think you're more than that.
I think you just didn't represent yourself well. Right. Because that's how you are agreed.
So you can see how quickly that conversation goes. And this this sets people free faster
than anything I know. All right. While we're on the subject of calling people up, let me just
take a little detour and share a best practice I do for myself, which I'm actually due to do it
again. I haven't done it in a bit. Calling yourself up. So I used to do this exercise
twice a year. I need to go back to this. Isn't this like leadership stuff? Even the guy teaching
it. Right. You go through leadership. Yep. I got to remember. I got to do that. So we never get to
your leadership stuff and say, I know all that. Yeah. But have you become all that or do you do
all this? So here's here's the exercise I like to do. Ask three people to participate. Pick people
who love you enough to speak to you truthfully. Speak people who are different parts of the
business. So if you're the CEO and you have a you know, you have a leadership team or management
team, don't just pick management team people. Pick people at different parts of the business
who are not necessarily your management team. In other words, people who don't.
So I learned some of this from Craig Gruschell. And Craig, you know, I was talking to him one day
and I said, how do you do this? He says he has five people. And he's when he prepares his sermon
each week, he asked these five people. And the first two, you know, one's his assistant. And
the other one, I think, is someone in their team.
Oh, and the other one is the his daughter who's always very blunt with him. I have a daughter like that and so
um
He would sit down with him and he'd share his sermon and he knew that if he asked him, you know, what do you think?
He'd get oh, it's genius. It's wonderful. The clouds parted and craig descended, you know, so he knew that was worthless question
So he learned to ask good questions to figure to get this out of them
So he asked him if you were to make this shorter, what would you cut out?
Clever question then he's cameraman
Who and the other was the janitor who who was like this old boy who just tell him as it is
and uh
So when he preached the sermon you go back to the janitor and the cameraman and say, uh, how did I do?
And the answer was either you you nailed it
We can we can send that to all the campuses because they I think they have 30 something campuses
And or he would say no you have to do that again. You you don't got it
So
It was really useful, but the three questions that helped me the other practical ones you may you can use these or your own
I learned to ask these three questions to these people that i've picked three people three questions first question
What is my biggest contribution to the business? In other words, let me clarify. What do I do? Well
I need to do more of
That shows you how you're being received and what's what what part of your leadership is really helping people
two
What do I need to stop doing?
What where am I involved in the business that I don't need to be
That's why you can see you have to pick three people who are going to tell you the truth
And of course you have to give them
You have to give them a waiver. Nothing you say will affect your bonus or your career or whatever three
How can I improve as a leader clarify like do I have habits mannerisms or ways of dealing with people?
I really need to improve on or areas you think
You know can can do with an upgrade
So what's my biggest contribution to the business? What do I need to stop doing?
and
How can I improve as a leader? All right, so that's all part of the
The first section of calling people and yourself up
the second part I want to share with you briefly is
Celebrating euros
It's one of the easiest ways to drive
Your the culture of your organization to the next level by celebrating the behavior you want
When you see it, you know, the latin is captive only means caught in the act of doing good
And we introduced this when I first learned this we introduced this when we were running our schools
We had a k-8 school many of you know in atlanta
And we became the number one school in georgia
And then we were in the top four percent of all private schools in the united states at the highest testing standard
There are three standards. This was the highest one
and
And and you know, it's it was because it was a very high performing school and all that stuff
But the kids loved it man
We i'd never heard of other schools where the kids cry because they have to go on vacation never heard that before
Or it's friday, you know, and they want to stay there because school was fun
And not every kid and not every friday. I'm just saying it happened on occasion
But here's the thing we learned so what we implemented captive only which was
Caught in the act. So the teachers are on the lookout for people doing cool things we could reward
So on fridays at our chapel meeting we used to call up and say hey
John did this and help, you know kid on the things or share these lunch or she did this or
You know, sally did that and so forth and what we did is we created heroes by celebrating the exact
Reinforcing the exact behavior we want
So making somebody the year of the story we did a whole training of this on on leaderforge
So it goes through it much more specifically, but it's got to go past the trivial nonsense stuff of awesome. Great job
Great, that's just lazy leadership, right? And I know people hate it when I say that but it really is lazy leadership
Because you're just using a generic whatever it has to be detailed
It has to be specific and it you know
So what I like to do is when i'm making somebody the year of the story
I like to tell them i'm going to make you the year of the story. Let's go and do this project together
We're going to make you the year of the story. In fact when we finish we're going to say this about you
I got the idea
From the boston philharmonic orchestra conductor ben zander who wrote the book art of possibility
And is used as now training, you know people all over the world try to hire him found out he costs, you know
I think he's now two hundred fifty thousand dollars for two hours or whatever. So he's super expensive
I don't know what his rates are anymore, but I tried to hire him once
um, but I know that like in switzerland, they'd bring all the cfo's from every the the
finance ministers from every country
Uh in in the g20 and they bring him together and they give him he comes and trains him for a day
That's the guy
And one of the things he invented is this idea of giving everyone an a
and by
By giving every, because he had a, he runs a master's program in Boston and for music.
And these are, I mean, these are accomplished musicians.
And what he realized is there was so much stress on these people to, and the performance
and things, and am I going to graduate?
So he started on day one and he said, okay, everybody, everybody gets an A for this class.
So here's what you're going to do.
You're going to write a letter to me and you're going to post date it at the end of the course,
one year from now.
And in that letter, you're going to write why I gave you an A. Think about that.
What did he just do?
He gave them a possibility to live into, not a standard to live up to.
This is so kingdom.
That's what the Lord does with us all the time.
He gives us something to live in, a possibility.
Hey, this is how I see you growing to this.
Not just my standards.
You see, and the old covenant, there was the law, standard to live up to.
In the new covenant, possibility to live into.
Isn't that gorgeous?
I love that.
So here's the bottom line.
True leaders are not heroes.
True leaders create heroes.
You do not have to be the hero to your organization.
You have to be the person that creates heroes in your organization.
Pressure's off, guys.
Pressure's off.
You don't have to be the source of all wisdom and knowledge to your organization.
Great leaders create heroes.
They're not the hero.
So don't be the hero to your team instead.
So look, I know one of the things we want to do.
We want to put controls in place so that our team doesn't make mistakes that we made.
But here's the thing.
Your team are going to make different mistakes.
And if you do not let them make those different mistakes, provided they're not catastrophic
to the business, then they will never learn and grow.
So making someone the hero of the story sends an incredible message that everybody matters.
And little things.
You don't have to wait for them to do something fantastic.
Just pick something, right?
Make them the hero of the story.
We've talked a bit about this before, so I'm not going to spend too much time on it.
But look, in this age of disruption and uncertainty, giving everyone in your team a moment to be
in the spotlight is one of the fastest ways to quietly call them up into the real them,
into pulling them up.
And so when you're talking about making your leadership prophetic, what it means is having
a view of someone that's one step higher than they have of themselves.
Not ten steps.
I mean, you can have ten, but don't talk to it more than one step ahead.
If you do more than one step, it just sounds like you're flattering them.
If you do one step above, oh, I'm a little surprised.
I thought you were this.
And you're always pulling them up.
It's like you're just pulling them up from the ground, you know, just raising them up.
And that's what it means to raise up leaders.
And to do that, it's great to have a chat with the Lord.
Lord, how do you see them?
When you look through my eyes, what do you see?
And it's amazing when people feel seen and feel that you have a higher opinion of them,
you've just given them someone new to be.
And that, for me, is one of the most powerful ways to make your leadership prophetic and
in partnership with the Lord.
So I hope you find that useful.