WEBVTT

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Hello, welcome.

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So glad to have you all joining us.

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Happy Monday evening.

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Hello, hello, hello.

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Welcome.

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Hi, beautiful ladies.

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If y'all can turn your cameras on for those that are able, would love to see you as always.

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There we go.

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I see some more beautiful faces.

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Hi, hi, hi.

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Welcome.

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If you're new and you're joining us for the first time, if you've never been here for

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a live session before, let us know in the chat that you're joining us so we can welcome

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you.

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We want to make sure that we can kind of give you a little bit of a shout out.

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Anyone new?

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Anyone new tonight?

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You've never been here before?

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Welcome back to all my ladies that have been here before.

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Okay, Janie, welcome.

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She's new tonight.

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Sarah's new.

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Awesome.

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Yeah, that's totally fine, Sarah.

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When you get home and get settled.

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Welcome back, Rebecca.

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Tamika's new tonight.

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So welcome, ladies.

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As people continue to join us, I'm going to go ahead and get started.

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It's so great to be here with you this evening.

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If you've never met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the Master Heartwork Coaches here in our community, and I'm on staff with Last

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Year Single and just love being a part of what God is doing in this movement of kingdom

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families and marriages.

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People's lives are getting just radically changed and it's been an exciting few years

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and I believe we've just scratched the surface.

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And so you all are here for such a time as this.

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And I believe God has something incredible for you in this season.

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No matter what week you're on, when you joined us, that you would continue to pray and lean

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in to what is the Holy Spirit saying to you personally today that we would every day.

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I was praying this afternoon and just standing out to my spirit again tonight, you know,

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for fresh manna.

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For fresh manna.

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When they were in the wilderness and they were going through the wilderness, God actually

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caused the manna to spoil if they tried to keep it.

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Well, why do you think that is?

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Because we need fresh.

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We need fresh revelation, fresh insight from the Lord every single time.

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And so tonight, that's one of the things we're going to do here in a minute.

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We'll pray, but just want you to be kind of leaning into that concept even as you go through

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the heartwork.

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Like, Father, what is something new you want to speak to me today that God wants to encounter

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you in a fresh way through this heartwork process and beyond.

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It doesn't stop when you finish heartwork, y'all.

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Heartwork is a lifetime journey.

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I've been coaching with the community for four years.

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I'm almost three year anniversary mark coming up and all the time, there's just things that

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God continues to highlight and reveal for healing.

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And I'm so grateful for the tools that I gained through this program.

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So I want to encourage you all to think of it in those terms that what you're learning

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here are tools to serve you the rest of your life.

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Haley, welcome for your first time joining us as well.

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So as a reminder, ladies, definitely check out Supernatural Saturday Replay, even if

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you've already heard it.

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This is one that I'm telling you all, if you listen to it even more than once, you're going

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to gain insight and revelation.

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That is actually, I text Jackie after she did that live and I said, this is one we need

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to turn into a product.

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It was so good.

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There's a lot of people that don't know the difference between discernment, intuition

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and suspicion.

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Some people don't even know what the gift of discernment is and there's no shame on

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that or anything, but man, it was so good.

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So please check that out.

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That's under your replay tab.

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Also, if you didn't know, every Sunday we put up what we call our weekly roll call post.

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This is a time for you to check in with us.

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Let us know how you're doing.

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What week of the heart work are you on?

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Also we're tying that into the Supernatural Saturday just to kind of help you unpack that

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a little bit more.

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Like how is God speaking to you directly through the Supernatural Saturday messages?

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The last one I have for you on housekeeping tonight is stay in the game, ladies, okay?

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And not that anybody isn't, but this is what the Lord put on my heart to share is the last

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housekeeping today.

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Stay in the game.

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Don't quit.

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Keep going.

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Resist distractions.

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The enemy is going to try to oppose you any way he can, and he often goes for those areas

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that we tend to get tripped up the most.

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So if you're, you know, things going wrong with your kids is your weak spot, guess what?

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He's going to go after that.

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He is.

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So just be prepared.

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We don't need to be afraid of the enemy or those opposing forces.

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We just need to understand what's going on, that that resistance actually is a good sign,

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ladies.

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It means you're moving forward.

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It means the enemy doesn't want you to move forward, so he's trying to create that resistance

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to keep you back.

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But praise God, if you keep moving, guess what?

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You're going to overcome that thing through the power of the Holy Spirit.

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Remember it's not by might nor by power, but it's by the Spirit of the Lord that we can

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do anything, even heart work.

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And so please pray daily to partner with the Holy Spirit to walk and step with you,

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to counsel you, to comfort you as you're walking.

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through the heart work.

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And I want you to remember this,

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Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father,

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right now, interceding for you.

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Every day, that's where he's sitting.

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He's sitting at the right hand of the Father,

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interceding for us.

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And so many times we read that in scripture

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and we kind of brush over it.

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But let's take some time this week to think on,

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like, what does it mean for you personally,

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to know that Jesus is interceding for you,

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Jovita, Mandy, Haley, Amy, by name.

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He's like, man, this is my girl.

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She's doing so great.

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I wish she knew how much I loved her

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and how much I believe in her.

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He's already won the victory for us, ladies.

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He's praying and interceding for us to step into it.

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Every day, he wants us to get the freedom

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and the breakthrough that he died to give us.

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Amen.

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I'm gonna pray for us.

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Father, thank you so much.

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Just for who you are, thank you for your presence.

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I can feel you here in the room.

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I'm so grateful that we get to be a part of your family,

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God, that you sent your son

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so that we could be grafted into the family of God.

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And I'm so, so grateful.

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No matter what we experienced in this world,

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maybe some have experienced abandonment,

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feeling like they're alone,

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feeling like they're an orphan or just disregarded,

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discarded, whatever those thoughts and feelings are, God,

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I thank you that you administer to them tonight,

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that you would help them to hear

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the truth of heaven over them.

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God, we thank you that you would bring things

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out of darkness into the light

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so there can be revelation, insight,

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healing, transformation, God.

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We're asking for supernatural encounters and understanding,

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God, that you'll connect dots like supernaturally,

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things that we've been seeking you for for years, God,

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that it would all of a sudden just start to come together.

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We thank you, God, that your promises are yes

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and amen for us.

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You're not a man that you would lie.

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God, we thank you that you fulfill your promises to us,

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that we can partner with you daily

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to walk into the fullness of everything you have planned

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for us, including our love stories.

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I know that's what you've done for me, Lord.

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I pray that you would increase their faith tonight,

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help them to receive the truth of what you have for them.

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I also pray for just, yeah, Lord,

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the balm of Gilead being placed upon minds, bodies,

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hearts, spirits, souls,

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that you would heal them in the depths of their being.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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Praise the Lord, he's so good, you all.

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Today is June 16th.

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You all, as many years as I've been coaching,

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I've never been able to coach on a 6-16 date.

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And so yesterday when I realized, I'm like, oh my gosh,

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I get to coach on 6-16.

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Why does that matter?

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Well, if you recall,

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when you went through the live challenge,

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if you all saw, maybe some of you

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didn't see the live challenge,

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when Jackie talked about the ancient of days

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has ancient ways, Jeremiah 6, 16, ladies,

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which is one of our banner scriptures in this community.

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This is what it says, stand at the crossroads and look.

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So imagine if you're standing at a crossroads

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in your life right now, I believe that you are,

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you're here by divine appointment,

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and you're looking at the different ways that you can walk.

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And this is what it says, ask for the ancient paths,

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ask where the good way is and walk in it.

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And you will find rest for your souls.

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And then it goes on, but you said, we will not walk in it.

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So let's not be that, let's not be like that.

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Let's walk in what God is showing us.

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And everyday ladies, sometimes we might feel like,

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well, I don't know for sure, what does that even mean?

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How do I know which one is the right one?

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Especially if we've really had

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a lot of these counterfeit identities

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that we've been listening to things through in the past.

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But I promise as you continue to heal,

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as you continue to read the word of God,

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you're gonna start to know the voice

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and the heart of the father more and more and more.

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And as you heal those counterfeit identities,

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they're gonna start to fall away,

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literally off your mind, off your body, off your spirit.

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And you're gonna hear more clearly,

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and you're gonna know the good path

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and the way to walk in it.

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Also, just on that side of things,

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the word says that he would be a lamp unto our feet

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and a light unto our path.

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So he's gonna light your path, just keep seeking him, okay?

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So I wanted to encourage you all with that.

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Like we're at this place, we're at this pivotal point

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in our lives where we get to look

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at what's going on in these directions.

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And hey, Lord, which one is the good way?

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And we're gonna talk in a little bit about the good,

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like what is God's version of good

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versus our version of good?

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You know, what we think is good

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is just very small understanding of what's really good.

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You all, I cannot tell you enough how glad I am

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that I listened to the Lord in choosing Brian,

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that I let go of all my old ways.

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days of choosing. I allowed my heart to get healed. And God

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led me into a relationship with someone I actually may not have

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chosen in the past, but God knew exactly what I needed. And then

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some and it's been an amazing blessing. So just want to

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deposit that and encourage you all just continue to seek God

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every day and take the next best step. And he will lead you

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further into those blessings and promises. Alright, so I'm going

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to activate you in the chat. Just curious, have any of you in

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the last week experienced a negative emotion at all? If you

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have, if you've experienced a negative emotion at all, I would

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love for you to put in the chat what that negative emotion was.

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You don't have to tell me what happened. You don't have to tell

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me why. I just want to know what your negative emotion was. Okay,

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we got rejection, insecurity, anxiety, anger, overwhelmed,

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shame, got another anxiety, anger, I might have a hard time

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keeping up. It's good. Y'all are coming in. Let's see.

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Rejection, insecurity, frustration, I just slow down

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grief, doubt, I'm trying to look for ones that haven't been said

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yet. Shame, discouragement, disappointment, feeling

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inadequate. So that can even tie into insecurity. Those are

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identity, you know, core things there. Sadness, frustration,

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anger, mistrust, unforgiveness. All right, let's see fear. I

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just wanna make sure we're hitting some of these ones that

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haven't been said yet. Blame. Okay, so blame would be more of

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a lie that you're believing most likely there's probably an

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emotion or feeling underneath of that. Let's see here. Annoyed,

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frustration, hopeless. Okay, I haven't seen that one yet. And

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then unknown confusion. Okay, awesome. Thanks for sharing in

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the chat, ladies. Here's why we did that. I want you to be

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thinking about these emotions that you put in the chat and you

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can continue to put them in there for us. Disrespected,

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default, disrespected. Emotion, feeling stuck. Okay. Loneliness.

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There's another overwhelmed. Okay, is we're going to do the

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revealing for healing cycle tonight. I'm going to unpack

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this for you a little bit more. Jackie hit on this in the videos

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for week three, even if you're not in week three, guess what,

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it's totally okay. So you can be in week one, week five, and I'm

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in here coaching on something that might be touched on in

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week three. But the core of all of this is that I haven't I

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haven't taught this for about a month and a half. And it's going

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to help all of you. Okay, it's going to help every single one

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of you know how to implement that healing for revealing for

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healing cycle worksheet that is included in your week three. So

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basically, I'm going to coach you through what you know what

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each topic means, what each circle means. And then I'm going

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to break it down from my own life and give you an example.

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I'm going to talk through a little bit more content, I'm

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going to put you in breakout rooms. And then I'm literally

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going to coach the remainder of the time, because I'm going to

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help you all those of you that we have time to get into the

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kind of the seat, if you will, to share live, we'll help you

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unpack what you share kind of in alignment with the revealing for

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healing cycle to kind of start connecting more dots. All right.

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So we want you to remember, you can't replace events, ladies, we

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can't go back and change what we've done or what's been done

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to us. All we can do is replace the lies that we've believed as

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a result of those things. So every day, we want to be asking

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the Lord, you know, not only what is the root, what is the

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first time that this happened to me, but we want to be asking the

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Lord, what are the lies I believe as a result of them?

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Because if we know the lies, then we can also seek the Lord

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for the truth. And the truth is what sets us free, right? Okay,

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but we also need to know how to apply the truth, right? Because

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truly, if you think about it, a lot of us know the truth, we

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hear the truth when we go to church, but leave and don't get

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breakthrough sometimes, isn't that true? I know that's

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happened for me before. And so the key is that we have to learn

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how to apply the truth. So just like the blood of Jesus Christ,

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yes, when you give your life to him, it covers you, you are

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you're healed, you're set free, all that. But, but so often, we

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don't know actually how to apply the blood to the areas that we

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need the greatest breakthrough. So part of the journey in heart

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healing is you're learning how to apply the blood of Jesus

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Christ, the truth to these areas so that you can actually have

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breakthrough. Alright, so I'm going to share my screen with

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you. All right, can y'all see that? Yeah. All right. So this

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is what we call in last year single the revealing for healing

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cycle. The the kind of key here is that you keep an

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in mind. Some of you things that are going to come up while I'm talking this evening

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aren't going to be like in order. Okay, so what do I mean by that? We typically start with the

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negative emotion. What's a negative emotion that you are experiencing that you have felt? Again,

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it could, like I did tonight, it could be in the last week, it could have been today,

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it could have been years ago, right? But not everybody can even identify their emotions.

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Some people actually have a hard time identifying their emotion, but they might have a lie that

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they're believing that that's what comes to mind for you or a painful memory. No matter where you

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start, the key then is to kind of go back and ask the Lord to help you unpack the other circles,

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if you will. Tonight, I'm going to start with the negative emotion. Okay, so we start with the pink

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circle, negative emotions. And my example for you all, this is another key, I'm so sorry.

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This is another key, you're going to want to be really specific, okay? So typically,

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a lot of us will say, I feel fear. And that's true, we feel fear. But what kind of fear? What

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is it connected to? Who is it associated with? So for example, mine is, and I am not struggling

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with any of these things. Now, I want to preface this tonight, I want you all to know, I've gotten

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a massive breakthrough from all this. But I'm just sharing these things to help you all kind

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of get some more revelation and insight. So that you can, even if you have completely different

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life experiences, for me, you can start to see how different things connected in your own life,

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so that you can, again, get more revelation and understanding, which then hopefully will lead you

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to freedom. All right, my negative emotion was fear, but specifically fear around men. Okay,

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especially if I didn't know them, or men that would try to have any kind of controlling,

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domineering kind of behavior over me. All right, some negative emotion for me was fear around men.

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And I've had other things too. But again, this is the example I'm giving tonight. Painful memory,

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the way I like to describe painful memories is it's like an overarching, kind of like an umbrella

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memory, kind of general. And then the trauma stories fall up under that, like the handle

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of the umbrella, if you will, okay, or the little spokes that are underneath all holding that

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umbrella up. Okay, painful memory for me, abused by men. So that's the overarching

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painful memory. Now, here are some of the trauma stories. These are, again, more specific and

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important that they're specific when we're processing them. I experienced sexual abuse by

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my brothers and sister when I was little. Then, as I got older, there were a couple actually

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other stories in here, I'm not going to share them tonight, but all had like abuse or some

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kind of sexual thing that happened to me at the hands of other people. I experienced emotional,

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mental, spiritual abuse, etc. with my husband. So that was another trauma story. And then I have

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these other two that I shared for a very, very long time, I did not even remember these, like

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happened or occurred or anything. But when I was going through the heart work, this is where it's

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really important, ladies for you to not dismiss things that happened to you, or minimize them,

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because somebody told you it wasn't that big of a deal. Or maybe you told yourself that,

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or whatever. The first one is when I was younger, I was in elementary school, I don't remember what

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age my mom took us to someone's house, I think for some kind of home interiors party that was

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like real big back in that day. I did not know the person's house, I didn't know who they were.

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But all the kids were sent upstairs to play. Well, there was this one boy in particular,

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that just the whole time all the kids were playing, he was very just he didn't feel safe.

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Well, his whole attempt was to get all the kids, all the other kids out of the room. He because

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there was two rooms upstairs, the kids were kind of running back and forth and playing in. But he

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tried to lock me in this bedroom by myself with him. He like even moved a dresser in front of the

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door. Y'all, this was so down in my subconscious that when it came up, it was like, it felt like a

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movie. Like, is this real? Did this actually happen? Like, am I making this up? Same kind of

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thing when my the sexual abuse came up very similar. It was in my mind, I thought I was like

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imagining and creating it, which, of course, I felt kind of like, Whoa, I'm like, really messed

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up if I'm making that up. Well, I wasn't making any of these things up, y'all. But when that stuff

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comes up out of our subconscious, because we really we have kind of in a sense been protected,

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and we've forgotten that stuff. But when it comes up, that's how we can then in that moment start

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to process. So

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That was another situation.

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Thankfully, nothing happened in that.

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I want you to know.

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My sister actually plowed that door down

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and we left out of there, praise the Lord.

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But I want you all to know that's another one.

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And then in high school,

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I had a friend that was supposed to be my best friend.

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And this is how it's really important, ladies,

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for us to really look at who our friends are

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and how they treat us.

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Now, obviously, we're not all back in high school,

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but let's even look at our friends today.

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Are they doing things that are setting you up for success

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or trying to use you for their own enjoyment or fun,

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if you will?

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My best friend, we were hanging out.

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There was a kind of a party and we were all at this house

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and she put this ball in my shirt

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and pushed me in the bathroom.

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And then it was like this game to her.

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She had this guy that we went to high school with.

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She basically assigned him to come and get the ball.

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We all, I panicked, I freaked out.

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Nobody knew what I had been through.

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I didn't even remember, but I remember like,

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I mean, I fought him.

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Like he thought it was funny the whole time.

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I did not think it was funny.

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And so it was a big thing, a rift between my friend and I,

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but I want you all to see each one of these things

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was all linking to abused by men.

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This is what men do, okay?

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So lies believed are revealed.

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The lie, number one,

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I'm just gonna give you two examples tonight.

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All men are abusive.

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That's what I believed for a really long time.

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Even though my grandfather was amazing,

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never abused me ever in my life,

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I still believe the lie that all men are abusive

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because I believed at that time that at some point

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they were gonna really let me know who they were.

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That's what I believed.

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Lie number two, I need to be afraid of men.

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So now I'm gonna show you the truth that God revealed to me

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and he revealed it to me first,

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and this is how I like to do it.

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Ladies, you can do it any way you want.

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I look at the lies I believe,

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and then I literally ask God for the opposite of it, okay?

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So I'm now at the lies believed are revealed,

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and now we're walking all the way through the circle

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to God reveals the truth.

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That's where I'm taking you right now.

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So truth number one, you, Bethany,

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don't have to fear or be afraid.

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And then after I get the opposite declaration,

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I look for scripture to support that.

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Isaiah 41.10, so do not fear for I am with you.

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Do not be dismayed for I am your God.

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I will strengthen you and help you.

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I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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Isaiah 41.13, for I am the Lord your God

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who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,

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do not fear, I will help you.

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Here's another truth.

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I can trust God to protect me.

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Psalm 121 verses seven through eight that says,

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the Lord will keep you from all harm.

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He will watch over your life.

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The Lord will watch over your coming and going

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both now and forevermore.

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And I always feel like I should address

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the elephant in the room.

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I think it's super important.

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I'm gonna stop screen share so I can see you all.

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You know, what I get a lot of times people will say,

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well, okay, if God will protect me,

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and if I don't have to fear or be afraid,

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then why did he allow me to get abused in the first place?

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So I just want you all to know

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that is something I wrestled with myself.

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If that is where you're at,

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wanna encourage you to continue

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to just be honest with the Lord about it.

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When I started being honest with him,

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he helped me process it and see truth,

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but I am gonna give you some truth.

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The truth is, is God gives everyone free will.

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Out of his love for us,

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he gives every single one of us free will.

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We have a choice of what we're gonna do with that free will.

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Unfortunately, sometimes people choose to do unhealthy

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and harmful things with their free will.

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But in all of those situations,

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I really want you all to know,

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and when I was younger, I couldn't always see it,

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but when I look back now,

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there are so many times where I can recognize

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God was providing a way out.

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Someone came home early, you know,

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my sister came through the door and got me out of there,

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you know, and I'm not saying it was like that every time.

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I definitely went through things that were very hard,

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but I recognize God with me, protecting me through it all.

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Does that make sense?

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And so I wanna encourage you all,

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whatever your situations are,

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that you would ask the Lord to reveal to you,

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where was he when you were encountering the trauma,

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to reveal himself to you in that situation

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and help you hear what his spirit

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wants to tell you about it.

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What is his heart towards you when that was happening?

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He wants you to know these things,

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but sometimes we have to have the courage to ask him

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and he'll start to reveal those things to you.

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I wanna also talk about the heart being a womb.

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We touched on this last week.

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I wanna build on it a little bit more.

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be thinking about what do you allow to go into your heart?

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And that everything that goes into your heart is going to be

480
00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:12.800
reproduced. So if we are thinking on a bunch of lies, if

481
00:25:12.800 --> 00:25:15.520
we're thinking on a bunch of painful emotions, guess what,

482
00:25:15.520 --> 00:25:18.680
ladies, a lot of that's going to get reproduced in your life.

483
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:25.080
Okay. If we're taking in harmful content on, you know, we talked

484
00:25:25.080 --> 00:25:27.840
this afternoon a little bit about if you tend to struggle

485
00:25:27.840 --> 00:25:31.440
with a lot of anxiety and fear, highly recommend you don't watch

486
00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:35.880
scary movies, or very high violence kind of chaotic,

487
00:25:36.840 --> 00:25:39.840
intense shows, because that's just feeding that fear and

488
00:25:39.840 --> 00:25:43.520
anxiety in you. Okay. And I know it's like, man, I just want to

489
00:25:43.520 --> 00:25:46.440
be able to watch it. Well guard your we want to guard our hearts

490
00:25:46.440 --> 00:25:49.880
and our minds through Christ Jesus, we want to put a gate at

491
00:25:49.880 --> 00:25:53.240
the front of our hearts and say, Okay, yeah, okay, maybe other

492
00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:57.400
people can watch this, but this is not helpful for me. And so

493
00:25:57.400 --> 00:25:59.800
I'm going to not do that. If you struggle with lust, I would

494
00:25:59.800 --> 00:26:03.480
really encourage you to not be watching a bunch of movies and

495
00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:07.080
shows that have tons of lust in them. Okay, because that's how

496
00:26:07.080 --> 00:26:10.600
the enemy gets his way in. And so many in the world today,

497
00:26:10.640 --> 00:26:16.600
including Christian circles, we just have excused because well,

498
00:26:16.600 --> 00:26:20.720
everyone else is doing it. You know, so just be really careful.

499
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:25.000
There's a lot of soft porn out there now for real. It's just

500
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:27.720
coming infiltrating more and more and more. So you just want

501
00:26:27.720 --> 00:26:31.320
to protect yourself, protect your heart, everything we allow

502
00:26:31.320 --> 00:26:35.760
in is going to get reproduced. Okay. What are you currently

503
00:26:35.760 --> 00:26:38.760
planting in your heart? Like, are you, you know, spending time

504
00:26:38.760 --> 00:26:42.360
in the Word? Are you seeking God for the truth of who he says you

505
00:26:42.360 --> 00:26:45.640
are? Are you meditating on scriptures that if you struggle

506
00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:48.640
with insecurity or identity, you know, kind of issues and

507
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.920
struggles, you know, are you studying the truth and not just

508
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:56.360
studying it to get it up here, but to get it down in here. And

509
00:26:56.360 --> 00:26:59.000
that's when the healing kind of when the healing happens, you

510
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:02.160
all, that's what helps us that that space between our head and

511
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:06.000
our heart, that's what closes that space, the healing. So we

512
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:10.480
have to get to the root of the matter. So that that place can

513
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:13.040
get healed. And then the other places along the way the Lord

514
00:27:13.040 --> 00:27:15.840
shows us, and that's going to what's going to help us shift

515
00:27:15.840 --> 00:27:19.000
into that whole person, if you will, little by little by

516
00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.760
little. But what are you putting into your heart? What

517
00:27:21.760 --> 00:27:25.120
are you planting in there? And then what type of fruit are you

518
00:27:25.120 --> 00:27:29.080
producing? What's coming out? So remember, for those of you that

519
00:27:29.080 --> 00:27:32.560
have struggled with anger or feel a lot of anger, often,

520
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:39.400
anger is hurts bodyguard. So really, what's going on, the

521
00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:43.840
emotion that needs dealt with isn't just anger. It's not about

522
00:27:43.840 --> 00:27:47.200
being good. It's not about behavior modification. This is

523
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:51.960
about heart transformation. So underneath the anger, what pain

524
00:27:51.960 --> 00:27:56.280
are you feeling? Where are you sad? Where are you frustrated

525
00:27:56.280 --> 00:28:00.880
and hurt? And then you want to ask God to tend to those areas

526
00:28:01.120 --> 00:28:04.160
and really be honest with yourself so that you can heal

527
00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:07.720
and move forward. This is from the hard workbook. It says God's

528
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:11.120
standard of good when God uses the word good. He isn't talking

529
00:28:11.120 --> 00:28:14.360
about our human standard of good. He is referring to his

530
00:28:14.360 --> 00:28:18.720
standard of good. So maybe you do have a little something

531
00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:22.120
working out in your life, but is it God's version of good yet?

532
00:28:23.240 --> 00:28:27.160
There's an upgrade available to every area of our lives if we

533
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:33.080
are willing to be shown what we can't see yet. Think about that.

534
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:38.920
Every day I encourage you all Lord show me what I can't see so

535
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:42.120
that I can heal. You know, Jackie in the in the book, it

536
00:28:42.120 --> 00:28:45.520
also has a description. I'll see if I can find it later. But it's

537
00:28:45.520 --> 00:28:49.800
about taking our feet off of the pathways of pain and asking God

538
00:28:49.800 --> 00:28:53.800
to put our feet on the pathways that lead back to him. So ladies

539
00:28:53.800 --> 00:28:57.440
that we would you know, because again, if we can't see something

540
00:28:57.440 --> 00:29:00.240
like those memories that I told you about that boy trying to

541
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:04.720
lock me in that room. That was literally not on my radar for so

542
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:07.720
many years. But when I went through the heart work and that

543
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:11.200
stuff bubble to the surface, and I didn't just push it back down

544
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:15.120
like it didn't happen, but I addressed it and allowed God to

545
00:29:15.120 --> 00:29:19.680
heal even that area. I started to gain momentum, and I got

546
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:23.560
upgrades and breakthrough supernatural things. And so I

547
00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:27.240
want to encourage you, if memories come up, if emotions

548
00:29:27.240 --> 00:29:31.040
come up, if feelings come up that you allow yourself to feel

549
00:29:31.040 --> 00:29:34.320
the fields so that God can heal the fields. But I am going to

550
00:29:34.360 --> 00:29:38.600
encourage you to ask God to help you be in balance as well,

551
00:29:38.600 --> 00:29:42.840
because we don't want our feelings to drive the car. Okay,

552
00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:46.200
we want to be aware of what we're feeling so that we can

553
00:29:46.200 --> 00:29:49.960
heal and look at what are those feelings and emotions connected

554
00:29:49.960 --> 00:29:52.880
to what lies are we still believing so we can be set free.

555
00:29:53.240 --> 00:29:56.680
All right, our problem areas are the places we have the most

556
00:29:56.680 --> 00:29:59.560
unhealed wounds. So I want you to be thinking about like what

557
00:29:59.560 --> 00:30:00.080
areas

558
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.360
Are you really struggling the most in your life right now?

559
00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:09.320
And those areas are a signal to you that that is places you have unhealed wounds.

560
00:30:10.080 --> 00:30:14.880
So if you struggle with your finances over and over and over again, you never have enough.

561
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:20.320
And even if you get a raise, like it still just ends up not satisfying.

562
00:30:20.320 --> 00:30:23.720
And you like, I don't know if you all have ever felt like this, but I can

563
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:27.680
remember at one point in my life feeling like, man, I feel like I have holes in my

564
00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:31.720
pockets because even when I would get increased, it felt like something would

565
00:30:31.720 --> 00:30:37.960
happen and just take the money away, you know, well, there's something connected to

566
00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:38.440
that.

567
00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:41.400
It wasn't just that the enemy was always attacking me.

568
00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:46.040
I needed to learn how to not only had knowledge, be a better steward, but I needed

569
00:30:46.040 --> 00:30:52.920
healing in my heart to look at like, not only finances differently, but God, the

570
00:30:52.920 --> 00:30:54.440
father differently.

571
00:30:55.440 --> 00:31:00.120
And when I started viewing him differently, viewing myself as his daughter, as his

572
00:31:00.120 --> 00:31:05.200
beloved, a couple of weeks ago, I talked to you all about being a princess, you know,

573
00:31:05.240 --> 00:31:07.880
thinking about like, okay, that's our inheritance.

574
00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:12.560
Like, what does it mean to be a princess of the King of Kings?

575
00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:16.320
Well, everything that's his is ours.

576
00:31:16.360 --> 00:31:17.400
That's our inheritance.

577
00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:22.040
Everything that's in the kingdom of heaven is our inheritance.

578
00:31:22.040 --> 00:31:27.480
Everything, everything good you could ever think of or imagine, and this isn't slot

579
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:27.920
machine.

580
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:28.840
That's not what I'm talking about.

581
00:31:29.080 --> 00:31:34.120
I'm literally talking about, man, just even sitting in the goodness of God, you all

582
00:31:34.120 --> 00:31:38.000
when something's going really amazing and you just bask in the goodness.

583
00:31:39.760 --> 00:31:44.320
Yeah, financial blessings and all those things are amazing, but having the love,

584
00:31:44.320 --> 00:31:48.880
like true understanding of God's absolute love and adoration for you.

585
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:53.320
And you, you, you sit in that revelation, allow that to transform you from the inside

586
00:31:53.320 --> 00:31:53.560
out.

587
00:31:53.560 --> 00:31:55.360
Like you really start to believe it.

588
00:31:55.600 --> 00:32:00.000
It's not just something you read on the Bible page and people tell you, but you

589
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.960
actually are like, oh my gosh, like he really loves me.

590
00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:07.920
Like he's not forsaken me.

591
00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:12.480
He's not just blessing everybody else and passing me over.

592
00:32:14.120 --> 00:32:15.920
He's not just trying to transform me.

593
00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:18.520
He wants to lead me beside still waters.

594
00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:21.240
He wants to refresh my soul.

595
00:32:22.360 --> 00:32:23.400
I feel the Holy Spirit on this.

596
00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:24.360
That's why I'm doing this.

597
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:33.800
He wants good things for you, but it's up to us to shift and heal in our hearts so

598
00:32:33.800 --> 00:32:35.720
that we can receive that truth.

599
00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:42.000
So where do you need to shift tonight so that you can receive that truth?

600
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:46.680
So where do you need to shift tonight so that you can receive the truth that the

601
00:32:46.680 --> 00:32:48.120
father is good?

602
00:32:49.080 --> 00:32:54.000
He didn't want any of us to go through the painful, harmful things that we did.

603
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.880
And even some of you now, you know, you're going through health struggles or, you

604
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:02.280
know, somebody's betrayed you or a friend left your life.

605
00:33:02.280 --> 00:33:07.400
And, and God is saying, I care, I care about it all.

606
00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:11.680
And I want to come in and I want to comfort you and I want to help you.

607
00:33:12.320 --> 00:33:14.360
Will you take me by the hand?

608
00:33:16.560 --> 00:33:17.720
So we're going to do that tonight.

609
00:33:17.800 --> 00:33:19.040
We're going to take him by the hand.

610
00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:22.360
Counterfeit lives that we live into ladies.

611
00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:26.240
Those are the things again, that we want all that stuff.

612
00:33:26.280 --> 00:33:29.720
It's not something we're trying to figure out or, you know, get our shovels out and

613
00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:30.400
dig, dig, dig.

614
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:30.800
Nope.

615
00:33:31.280 --> 00:33:36.600
Holy spirit, Lord, we're turning to him and we're asking him really good questions

616
00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:37.600
all the time.

617
00:33:38.360 --> 00:33:41.240
Your questions on a regular basis should be Lord.

618
00:33:42.080 --> 00:33:43.640
This is what I'm going through today.

619
00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:44.960
You get offended, man.

620
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:45.880
I feel offended.

621
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:47.000
I feel angry.

622
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:49.880
Lord, why am I feeling this way today?

623
00:33:50.280 --> 00:33:52.320
Can you help me to see what I can't see?

624
00:33:53.160 --> 00:33:54.280
What's the greater truth?

625
00:33:54.280 --> 00:33:55.360
What's the revelation?

626
00:33:55.360 --> 00:33:58.360
What's the revealing for healing that you have for me?

627
00:33:59.360 --> 00:34:05.200
Proverbs 23, seven says this, and this isn't in the amplified version for as a

628
00:34:05.280 --> 00:34:08.400
person thinks in his heart, so is he.

629
00:34:10.560 --> 00:34:14.080
As a person thinks in his heart, so is he.

630
00:34:15.040 --> 00:34:16.679
So how's your heart doing?

631
00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:25.239
Is your heart believing that God has good things for you, that you are a bride

632
00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:25.960
already?

633
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:29.920
Not just like, Oh yeah, I want to get married.

634
00:34:29.960 --> 00:34:30.600
No ladies.

635
00:34:30.600 --> 00:34:31.719
There's a difference.

636
00:34:32.120 --> 00:34:39.199
Do you believe in your core that you are a bride and that God has a good spirit

637
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:44.280
mate for you and that you can move every day a little bit closer to him and that

638
00:34:44.280 --> 00:34:45.840
you all can be brought together.

639
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:49.000
It's not a one find a needle in the haystack.

640
00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:53.320
That's not what we're talking about, but that God has someone really awesome that

641
00:34:53.320 --> 00:34:57.000
he wants to encounter you in your life.

642
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.480
All right. We're going to go

643
00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:04.360
into the breakout rooms here in a minute.

644
00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:06.600
I want you-all to be thinking about one other thing

645
00:35:06.600 --> 00:35:09.080
as we start to prepare to do that.

646
00:35:09.080 --> 00:35:12.240
Have you ever heard of squatters?

647
00:35:12.440 --> 00:35:15.800
They're the people that come and they take up

648
00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:18.480
residence in someone else's house or a building,

649
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:20.320
whether it's abandoned or not,

650
00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:22.800
and they live there like it's their home.

651
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:24.520
They take it over sometimes.

652
00:35:24.520 --> 00:35:26.480
Even to the point that in

653
00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:29.680
some cities where it gets really cold in the winter,

654
00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:32.160
if those people return to their home

655
00:35:32.160 --> 00:35:34.520
and find someone squatting in their home,

656
00:35:34.520 --> 00:35:37.840
that there's actual laws to protect those people

657
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:40.080
that are squatting in the home.

658
00:35:40.080 --> 00:35:42.200
They can't kick them out

659
00:35:42.200 --> 00:35:44.760
because it's cold and it's winter.

660
00:35:44.760 --> 00:35:46.480
Think about that for a minute.

661
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:48.560
The reason I'm bringing this up is we consider

662
00:35:48.560 --> 00:35:51.080
in this community lies that we believe

663
00:35:51.080 --> 00:35:53.600
as a result of trauma, squatters.

664
00:35:54.760 --> 00:35:57.440
They're taking up residence in your heart

665
00:35:57.440 --> 00:35:59.200
and they don't belong there.

666
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:02.560
So it's time to evict them.

667
00:36:03.640 --> 00:36:06.160
It's time to kick them out.

668
00:36:06.160 --> 00:36:09.080
And tonight we're going to start doing that, okay?

669
00:36:09.080 --> 00:36:11.640
But it begins with identifying emotions.

670
00:36:11.640 --> 00:36:13.120
I just realized I forgot,

671
00:36:13.120 --> 00:36:14.760
if any of you were on this afternoon,

672
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:16.240
I forgot to issue the activation.

673
00:36:16.240 --> 00:36:18.520
So I'll definitely be putting that up in the group,

674
00:36:18.520 --> 00:36:20.320
but I will let you all know here tonight

675
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:21.880
before we hop off what that is.

676
00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:23.800
As you go into breakout,

677
00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:25.680
this is what your question is tonight.

678
00:36:26.680 --> 00:36:29.360
What is a negative emotion or memory

679
00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:34.880
that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight

680
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:36.880
for revealing for healing?

681
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:37.840
I'll repeat that.

682
00:36:39.040 --> 00:36:40.760
What is a negative emotion or memory

683
00:36:40.760 --> 00:36:42.880
that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight

684
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:44.600
for revealing for healing?

685
00:36:44.600 --> 00:36:46.200
Again, you don't have to remember

686
00:36:46.200 --> 00:36:48.080
or know how to piece it all together right now.

687
00:36:48.080 --> 00:36:49.760
You just want to identify the emotion

688
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:52.400
or the memory that's coming up for you, okay?

689
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:53.760
Karishma, that's totally fine.

690
00:36:53.760 --> 00:36:54.920
If you all can't go,

691
00:36:55.160 --> 00:36:56.080
if anyone's working

692
00:36:56.080 --> 00:36:57.600
or you're just not able to go and break out,

693
00:36:57.600 --> 00:36:59.200
you can stay in the main room.

694
00:36:59.200 --> 00:37:02.360
I'll be praying while the ladies are in breakout.

695
00:37:02.360 --> 00:37:05.920
So sometimes you never know what's gonna come out of me

696
00:37:07.040 --> 00:37:07.880
when I'm praying.

697
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:10.760
So sometimes there's prophetic things I hear.

698
00:37:10.760 --> 00:37:13.800
I just lean into the Lord and I pray.

699
00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:17.000
So we'll be covering you all while you're in breakouts.

700
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:19.680
If you've never been in a breakout room before,

701
00:37:19.680 --> 00:37:20.560
there's gonna be something

702
00:37:20.560 --> 00:37:22.320
that's gonna pop up on your screen.

703
00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:25.360
And you're just gonna click to join that.

704
00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:26.720
For anyone that gets into a room,

705
00:37:26.720 --> 00:37:27.840
if you're there by yourself,

706
00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:29.000
just hang out there for a minute.

707
00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:30.000
I'll move you around, okay?

708
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:32.240
I don't want you to worry

709
00:37:32.240 --> 00:37:34.680
because I have a couple of people saying they can't go in

710
00:37:34.680 --> 00:37:36.360
and I'm just automatically assigning.

711
00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:37.400
So I'll move you around.

712
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:38.880
I'll get you situated, okay?

713
00:37:38.880 --> 00:37:40.000
Go ahead and click to join those.

714
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:41.280
Here they are for you.

715
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:56.320
Okay, once I get them situated, I'll start praying here.

716
00:37:59.320 --> 00:38:00.680
Yeah, I see you, Joanne.

717
00:38:00.680 --> 00:38:02.000
I'm gonna get you here in just one second.

718
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:04.360
I was having a hard time clicking on your name

719
00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:07.160
because everybody's things were moving around.

720
00:38:07.160 --> 00:38:08.520
All right, there you go.

721
00:38:10.520 --> 00:38:12.000
Okay, I see you, Joanne.

722
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:13.320
I'm gonna get you here in just one second.

723
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:15.400
I was having a hard time clicking on your name

724
00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:18.280
because everybody's things were moving around.

725
00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:19.560
All right, there you go.

726
00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:23.160
Okay.

727
00:38:30.080 --> 00:38:33.880
Trying to find, okay, nobody's there.

728
00:38:33.880 --> 00:38:36.840
So all you ladies can't go into breakout

729
00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:38.160
that are here in the main room?

730
00:38:38.160 --> 00:38:39.680
That's a lot of people.

731
00:38:48.560 --> 00:38:51.440
All right, Father, we just thank you so much for this night.

732
00:38:51.480 --> 00:38:53.240
We thank you, God, for everything

733
00:38:53.240 --> 00:38:55.300
that you're doing in our hearts.

734
00:38:55.300 --> 00:38:57.680
God, we thank you for the ladies that are in breakouts,

735
00:38:57.680 --> 00:38:59.360
those that are here in the room,

736
00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:00.760
those that are gonna watch the replay.

737
00:39:00.760 --> 00:39:02.080
We thank you for the revealings

738
00:39:02.080 --> 00:39:03.980
for healing that are happening.

739
00:39:03.980 --> 00:39:07.120
God, we thank you for revelation and insight

740
00:39:07.120 --> 00:39:09.880
that you're showing us things that we can't see

741
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:12.880
so that we can step further into revelation

742
00:39:12.880 --> 00:39:17.520
and healing, enlightenment.

743
00:39:17.520 --> 00:39:19.480
Have another joy, she's already in a room.

744
00:39:19.480 --> 00:39:20.320
Sorry, y'all.

745
00:39:21.440 --> 00:39:22.280
Sorry.

746
00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:30.280
Sorry.

747
00:39:30.280 --> 00:39:31.920
That's okay, I was just trying to figure out

748
00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:32.920
where you were at.

749
00:39:32.920 --> 00:39:35.200
I see you, I see you there,

750
00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:37.040
but you were in a room with someone.

751
00:39:38.240 --> 00:39:40.040
Did you all get kicked out of your room?

752
00:39:40.040 --> 00:39:45.000
Yeah, she moved out and then only me left.

753
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:48.000
Okay, all right, let me just put you in another room, okay?

754
00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:49.800
Okay.

755
00:39:51.200 --> 00:39:52.640
There you go.

756
00:39:52.640 --> 00:39:55.160
So Father, we just thank you for just continuing

757
00:39:55.160 --> 00:39:57.800
to build sisterhood, friendships, and connections

758
00:39:57.800 --> 00:39:59.200
through these breakout sessions,

759
00:39:59.200 --> 00:40:00.760
Laura, that you would give the.

760
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.120
ladies, just peace that passes understanding as they are sharing God, that they would recognize

761
00:40:07.120 --> 00:40:11.840
your presence. God, we thank you for just illuminating areas that they need to talk

762
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:18.240
about. We thank you for healing, for redemption, for reconciliation. We thank you for release of

763
00:40:18.240 --> 00:40:25.440
forgiveness, a release of, yeah, Lord, even times where they have received shame or guilt or

764
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:29.600
condemnation because of things they've been through or choices they've made that haven't

765
00:40:29.600 --> 00:40:36.480
led to good areas. We thank you for coming in and just setting them free from the yoke of shame and

766
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:44.240
the bondage of sin. We thank you, Lord, for, yeah, Lord, the balm of Galia just being placed on these

767
00:40:44.240 --> 00:40:49.440
areas. We thank you, God, for revelation truth. We thank you that you're always,

768
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:55.600
you're always working everything together for good to save many people alive. We thank you,

769
00:40:55.600 --> 00:41:01.120
Lord, for Romans 8, 17, it says, and since we are his true children, we qualify to share

770
00:41:01.120 --> 00:41:06.400
all his treasures for indeed we are heirs of God himself. And since we are joined to Christ,

771
00:41:06.400 --> 00:41:13.280
we also inherit all that he is and all that he has. We will experience being co-glorified with

772
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:18.400
him, provided that we accept his sufferings as our own. And so, Lord, we just thank you for

773
00:41:18.400 --> 00:41:24.320
the reminder that we are co-heirs with Christ. I pray that you would help us to receive an

774
00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:29.600
upgrade in the revelation and understanding of who we are as a princess, as beloved daughters

775
00:41:29.600 --> 00:41:34.880
of the king. Hi, Brenda. We're talking in the rooms right now about what is a negative emotion

776
00:41:34.880 --> 00:41:38.720
or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight for revealing, for healing.

777
00:41:39.600 --> 00:41:43.120
I'm going to go ahead and put you into a room with some of the other ladies.

778
00:41:43.680 --> 00:41:50.560
Let me just make sure here, do room three. Thanks. Oh, you're welcome. There you go.

779
00:41:52.480 --> 00:41:58.800
And Lord, we just thank you for, just even this morning I was reading, or yesterday,

780
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:05.840
I can't remember, in Psalms, and it was talking about how even God would create there to be peace

781
00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:10.960
with our enemies when we live for him, when we choose to live according to his purposes

782
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:15.920
and lean into his goodness, his life. So, Lord, we just declare that you will

783
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:21.920
cause our enemies to make good with us. God, that they won't be able to do anything but help bless

784
00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:27.760
us. And we just thank you, God, that you prepare a table for us in the presence of our enemies.

785
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:33.280
And ladies, I want you to understand that it's not just people. We're talking about the opposing

786
00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:39.520
forces are going to be made to turn around and bless us. God's going to be like, hey, I'm going

787
00:42:39.520 --> 00:42:44.080
to bless my girls. I'm going to love on them. And I'm going to prepare a table for them in the

788
00:42:44.080 --> 00:42:48.720
presence of their enemies. And that we can stand in that goodness and experience the goodness of

789
00:42:48.720 --> 00:42:54.560
God in the land of the living. John 1, 12 says that those who embraced him and took hold of his

790
00:42:54.560 --> 00:42:59.760
name were given authority to become the children of God. Lord, we thank you that you would help

791
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:06.480
each one of us to really stand in that authority that you've given us. Not only just that reminder

792
00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:11.680
as the scripture says that we are the children of God, but that the word there to become the

793
00:43:11.680 --> 00:43:17.120
children of God. We already are the children of God, but so many times people don't receive the

794
00:43:17.120 --> 00:43:23.440
revelation of what it means to be a child of the King, the Father, which I've already been talking

795
00:43:23.440 --> 00:43:27.040
about tonight. And y'all, I'm just flipping through the heartwork book here right now. And that was

796
00:43:27.040 --> 00:43:32.080
kind of timely that I landed on that one. So I want to encourage you all to keep leaning into

797
00:43:32.080 --> 00:43:38.400
that this week. What does it mean to be a child of the King? Ephesians 4, 26 through 27 says this,

798
00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:43.120
but don't let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin. Don't let anger control you or be

799
00:43:43.120 --> 00:43:48.960
fuel for revenge. Not even for a day. Don't give the slanderous accuser, the devil, an opportunity

800
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:56.720
to manipulate you. Lord, I thank you that we, yes, Lord, even as Jackie taught on Saturday,

801
00:43:56.720 --> 00:44:03.440
that we can grow in the gift of discernment, that we can discern between, you know,

802
00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:10.320
what is of God, what is of a spirit that's opposing us, that we would know, yeah, that we would know

803
00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:14.880
your truth more and more and more, that you would stir up a hunger and thirst for us or for your

804
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:20.960
righteousness, for your word in us, God, that you would fan the flames of the hunger to read your

805
00:44:20.960 --> 00:44:25.920
word, to grow in relationship with you, that we would never be satisfied apart from you, away from

806
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:30.880
you, God, that you are the vine. We are the branches apart from you. We can't do anything.

807
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:34.640
So, Lord, I thank you that you'll help us daily to connect to you, the vine,

808
00:44:35.200 --> 00:44:40.880
to grow in relationship with you and to ask you for revelation and insight, even before we read

809
00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:45.120
the word of God, before we read the heart workbook, before we watch the videos, that God, we would ask

810
00:44:45.120 --> 00:44:50.960
you to illuminate, you know, and quicken these things in our spirit and even that we would arise,

811
00:44:51.120 --> 00:44:56.320
arise, oh sleeper, and awake, awake, oh sleeper, and rise up from the dead.

812
00:44:56.320 --> 00:44:59.920
So, Lord, we just say awaken to all of our spirits that we

813
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.180
would be women of God that are marked by living fully alive,

814
00:45:04.180 --> 00:45:06.540
unhindered, unafraid, completely whole,

815
00:45:06.540 --> 00:45:08.220
lacking no good thing.

816
00:45:08.220 --> 00:45:09.860
God, that you're making us whole physically,

817
00:45:09.860 --> 00:45:12.220
mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially,

818
00:45:12.220 --> 00:45:13.920
and we lack no good thing.

819
00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:15.200
God, that everywhere we go,

820
00:45:15.200 --> 00:45:17.360
that we would have favor for everything

821
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:19.100
that we would put our hand to.

822
00:45:19.100 --> 00:45:21.000
And we just thank you, God, for,

823
00:45:22.600 --> 00:45:25.140
yeah, the truth of Genesis 50, 20.

824
00:45:25.140 --> 00:45:26.740
You intended, this is Joseph.

825
00:45:26.740 --> 00:45:28.800
This is after the whole Joseph story, ladies.

826
00:45:28.840 --> 00:45:31.000
It says, you intended to harm me.

827
00:45:31.000 --> 00:45:32.200
He's talking to his brothers,

828
00:45:32.200 --> 00:45:34.740
but God intended it all for good.

829
00:45:34.740 --> 00:45:36.040
He brought me to this position

830
00:45:36.040 --> 00:45:39.380
so I could save the lives of many people.

831
00:45:39.380 --> 00:45:40.780
So Lord, we thank you that you,

832
00:45:40.780 --> 00:45:42.580
when we surrender our pain to you,

833
00:45:42.580 --> 00:45:44.920
when we surrender the abuse and the mistreatment,

834
00:45:44.920 --> 00:45:47.060
all these things that happen to us,

835
00:45:47.060 --> 00:45:48.960
when we surrender those things to you, God,

836
00:45:48.960 --> 00:45:51.620
that you turn our pain into purpose,

837
00:45:51.620 --> 00:45:54.400
God, that you can turn it all around for good,

838
00:45:54.400 --> 00:45:55.760
not only for our benefit,

839
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:58.100
but for the benefit of many other people.

840
00:45:58.500 --> 00:46:01.960
So Lord, we thank you for healing minds, healing hearts,

841
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:04.140
God, that you are transforming us

842
00:46:04.140 --> 00:46:05.380
by the renewing of our minds

843
00:46:05.380 --> 00:46:07.100
that all old things have passed away.

844
00:46:07.100 --> 00:46:10.280
Behold, everything has become new in you.

845
00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:14.020
God, we thank you that, yes, Lord,

846
00:46:14.020 --> 00:46:16.580
that we can perceive that you're doing a new thing,

847
00:46:16.580 --> 00:46:19.260
that you are bringing rivers in the desert

848
00:46:19.260 --> 00:46:21.220
and streams in the wastelands, God,

849
00:46:21.220 --> 00:46:22.660
and you're literally coming.

850
00:46:22.660 --> 00:46:24.700
It makes me think of the Lion King movie

851
00:46:24.700 --> 00:46:28.540
after Simba got back on the throne, if you will,

852
00:46:28.540 --> 00:46:30.400
and then all the water starts,

853
00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:32.600
this is the old Lion King, I don't know about the new one,

854
00:46:32.600 --> 00:46:34.200
all the water kind of starts to flow

855
00:46:34.200 --> 00:46:37.240
through the dead, scar-led land,

856
00:46:37.240 --> 00:46:39.180
and everything starts to come back to life.

857
00:46:39.180 --> 00:46:41.820
And so I just believe and speak that over all of you,

858
00:46:41.820 --> 00:46:43.540
that that's kind of like some of you,

859
00:46:43.540 --> 00:46:47.280
it's just felt really dry, it's felt dead, it's felt barren,

860
00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:50.160
but God is the God of life, he's the God of fulfillment,

861
00:46:50.160 --> 00:46:52.360
he's the God of hope, and he's coming,

862
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:54.060
and he's bringing in the living waters,

863
00:46:54.580 --> 00:46:55.720
and he's washing over all these areas,

864
00:46:55.720 --> 00:47:00.660
and he's bringing things back to life in Jesus' name, amen.

865
00:47:00.660 --> 00:47:03.420
Welcome back, so glad that you're here.

866
00:47:03.420 --> 00:47:05.860
I'm gonna have to have y'all, yeah, thank you,

867
00:47:05.860 --> 00:47:07.540
have y'all mute.

868
00:47:07.540 --> 00:47:11.580
All right, so who is willing to share with the whole group

869
00:47:11.580 --> 00:47:13.400
what you shared in your breakout?

870
00:47:14.900 --> 00:47:17.460
And then we're gonna do group coaching.

871
00:47:17.460 --> 00:47:19.200
If you shared this afternoon,

872
00:47:19.200 --> 00:47:20.620
I'm gonna encourage you to wait

873
00:47:20.620 --> 00:47:22.620
because I want some new ladies to share.

874
00:47:22.620 --> 00:47:24.180
All right, Ruth, go ahead.

875
00:47:25.660 --> 00:47:26.660
Hi.

876
00:47:26.660 --> 00:47:30.460
Hi, sorry, I actually missed the,

877
00:47:30.460 --> 00:47:33.340
I missed the breakout just because of I was getting,

878
00:47:33.340 --> 00:47:34.860
but this is, I'm gonna make this very quick

879
00:47:34.860 --> 00:47:36.460
because I want other ladies to get to share,

880
00:47:36.460 --> 00:47:39.500
but it's just a request for a prayer again.

881
00:47:39.500 --> 00:47:41.420
I shared previously about when my dad

882
00:47:41.420 --> 00:47:44.360
was in the emergency room because he had the brain bleed.

883
00:47:44.360 --> 00:47:47.800
Yeah, he's actually back in the emergency room again.

884
00:47:47.800 --> 00:47:51.100
He was supposed to see the neurosurgeon tomorrow morning

885
00:47:51.100 --> 00:47:52.660
for a routine, like a follow-up.

886
00:47:52.660 --> 00:47:55.220
And so they had a brain CT scan today

887
00:47:55.220 --> 00:47:57.020
just as a requirements for that.

888
00:47:57.020 --> 00:47:59.180
And it showed that everything was worse,

889
00:47:59.180 --> 00:48:02.500
like the bleeding was worse and the shift,

890
00:48:02.500 --> 00:48:04.500
meaning that the bleeding of the right side

891
00:48:04.500 --> 00:48:06.840
that's shifted is shifting his brain

892
00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:08.980
to the left side is worse.

893
00:48:08.980 --> 00:48:11.980
It was a four and then it was a six a couple of days ago.

894
00:48:11.980 --> 00:48:14.460
Now it's a 10.

895
00:48:14.460 --> 00:48:16.300
Okay, we'll pause and just pray for him.

896
00:48:16.300 --> 00:48:17.780
What's your dad's name again, Ruth?

897
00:48:17.780 --> 00:48:19.220
His name is Vincent.

898
00:48:19.220 --> 00:48:20.460
Vincent.

899
00:48:21.340 --> 00:48:24.540
Father, you see everything that's going on with Vincent.

900
00:48:24.540 --> 00:48:26.700
God, we just ask you to come to his aid.

901
00:48:26.700 --> 00:48:30.220
We ask you to dispatch healing angels

902
00:48:30.220 --> 00:48:32.860
to minister to him in every area.

903
00:48:32.860 --> 00:48:36.760
God, we're asking for you to reduce that brain bleed number

904
00:48:36.760 --> 00:48:38.820
that God, you would just go to the source

905
00:48:38.820 --> 00:48:41.660
of the brain bleed and that you would stop it up.

906
00:48:41.660 --> 00:48:45.320
God, that you would just literally just cause those extra,

907
00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:47.760
the blood things, the cells, all the things,

908
00:48:47.760 --> 00:48:49.220
whatever's going on there.

909
00:48:49.260 --> 00:48:51.060
God, I'm just hearing the word dissipate.

910
00:48:51.060 --> 00:48:53.700
So we just ask you to cause that to dissipate,

911
00:48:53.700 --> 00:48:57.180
that the doctors would be able to get it back into order.

912
00:48:57.180 --> 00:48:58.660
And we thank you for healing.

913
00:48:58.660 --> 00:49:01.540
We thank you for, yes, Lord.

914
00:49:01.540 --> 00:49:04.780
We thank you for Vincent, your son, he's your son.

915
00:49:04.780 --> 00:49:06.940
We thank you for ministering to him right now

916
00:49:06.940 --> 00:49:07.780
for him and his family.

917
00:49:07.780 --> 00:49:10.180
God, we speak peace over his body.

918
00:49:10.180 --> 00:49:12.060
We speak peace over his brain.

919
00:49:12.060 --> 00:49:14.420
We speak wholeness and healing

920
00:49:14.420 --> 00:49:17.360
that it would no longer be shifted out of balance.

921
00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:20.400
God, we just thank you that you bring balance to all things

922
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:23.360
and we speak to his brain and we declare

923
00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:25.360
that it will be made completely whole,

924
00:49:25.360 --> 00:49:26.480
lacking no good thing.

925
00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:28.120
And we thank you for it in advance.

926
00:49:28.120 --> 00:49:29.680
God, we thank you for Ruth.

927
00:49:29.680 --> 00:49:33.640
God, we thank you that your love would just surround her

928
00:49:33.640 --> 00:49:34.960
in a supernatural way.

929
00:49:34.960 --> 00:49:38.160
In Jesus name, amen.

930
00:49:38.160 --> 00:49:40.920
We're gonna keep praying for you and believing.

931
00:49:40.920 --> 00:49:43.120
You're welcome for healing.

932
00:49:43.120 --> 00:49:46.320
Please keep me posted on that, Ruth, okay?

933
00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:48.520
All right, ladies, who is willing to share

934
00:49:48.520 --> 00:49:50.240
with the whole group what you shared on breakout?

935
00:49:50.240 --> 00:49:52.640
Oh, I see, hands are up, yay.

936
00:49:52.640 --> 00:49:53.760
Preeti, go ahead.

937
00:49:55.520 --> 00:49:56.720
Hello again.

938
00:49:56.720 --> 00:49:57.560
Hi.

939
00:49:59.080 --> 00:49:59.920
Okay, so.

940
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.480
I want to give so firstly praying for Ruth, it's really hard to go after that. So just

941
00:50:05.480 --> 00:50:10.760
want to acknowledge that. I want to just shout out to my sister with whom I was in breakout

942
00:50:10.760 --> 00:50:16.280
room because something she shared triggered a whole bunch of emotions that I did not know

943
00:50:16.280 --> 00:50:22.600
I had. But we were talking about friendships, like just platonic friendships, mostly, mostly

944
00:50:22.600 --> 00:50:30.880
with girlfriends, but with everyone else. And so we were talking about how we both have

945
00:50:30.880 --> 00:50:36.800
been disappointed with our friends. My dad was in the military. And so like, I moved

946
00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:44.160
every two, three years. And so I was the one, you know, like, and I'm normally wired to

947
00:50:44.160 --> 00:50:51.480
take that first step to keep in touch. And so, you know, like, I really do try so like,

948
00:50:51.480 --> 00:50:56.400
because, you know, out of sight is not out of mind for me, like, you know, I do try.

949
00:50:56.400 --> 00:51:02.560
And so like, I think in the last two years, there have been really long stretches of periods

950
00:51:02.560 --> 00:51:08.800
where it felt like suddenly, like people have forgotten me and not respond, like normally

951
00:51:08.800 --> 00:51:12.720
people are very responsive, and I need prayer. Like I have prayers coming from all over the

952
00:51:12.720 --> 00:51:19.960
world that sisters praying for me when I need it, or like, you know, just sharing life and

953
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:25.680
learning from each other. But like, I think I've gone through frequent periods of times

954
00:51:25.680 --> 00:51:30.120
where it felt like I was walking alone, like without people. I mean, of course, there's

955
00:51:30.120 --> 00:51:34.520
the Holy Spirit. And of course, like, you know, God never leaves you. But ultimately,

956
00:51:34.520 --> 00:51:40.200
like as an extrovert, like, it has been hard. And so like, I was just kind of debriefing

957
00:51:40.200 --> 00:51:46.080
with my sister in the group that, like how sometimes some friends are givers, and some

958
00:51:46.080 --> 00:51:52.160
friends are takers. And I believe that I've been a giver in most of my friendships. But

959
00:51:53.520 --> 00:52:00.840
like, it's been hard. And so like, yeah, I think like that feeling of rejection, like

960
00:52:00.840 --> 00:52:07.000
even in friendships, like, have come up. And so like, I know people get busy, you know,

961
00:52:07.000 --> 00:52:08.280
like life happens.

962
00:52:08.520 --> 00:52:13.240
So I'm gonna I'm gonna have you pause for a minute. I'm gonna do something. So you're

963
00:52:13.240 --> 00:52:19.440
doing a great job identifying, you know, how you feel the situations that happened. But

964
00:52:19.440 --> 00:52:24.880
ladies, so often what happens is we, and I'm not saying it's not true, people are busy,

965
00:52:24.920 --> 00:52:30.240
okay. But the reality is this, oh, we don't have to do I lost sound.

966
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:32.320
Do you hear me? Oh, say that again.

967
00:52:32.680 --> 00:52:33.560
Can you hear me?

968
00:52:33.680 --> 00:52:36.200
I can hear you now. But I lost you for 10 seconds.

969
00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:42.600
Um, so one of the things that we often do is we feel guilt for saying something that we

970
00:52:42.600 --> 00:52:47.040
actually feel. And so then we'll try to say something like, Oh, I know, it's just because

971
00:52:47.040 --> 00:52:50.760
they're busy. And because we have empathy, we do have compassion. And that's not a bad

972
00:52:50.760 --> 00:52:56.920
thing. But what can happen is when we do that, we're saying what we feel. But then we kind

973
00:52:56.920 --> 00:53:02.160
of flip side kind of dismiss it. Does that make sense? Even though we're not trying to

974
00:53:02.160 --> 00:53:07.600
dismiss what we're feeling? Like, a lot of times I'll see this show up even when people

975
00:53:07.600 --> 00:53:11.880
are sharing about something that they went through. But they don't want anyone to think

976
00:53:11.880 --> 00:53:16.520
their family are bad people. And so they automatically are like, but you know, my they

977
00:53:16.520 --> 00:53:21.760
love me, I know that. And those things are very true. But we don't have to do that. Okay,

978
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:27.840
so we can just stand in our truth. Like, hey, this is how I felt when this situation

979
00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:33.840
happened. And then okay, what are the lies I'm believing as a result of it doesn't mean

980
00:53:33.840 --> 00:53:38.640
those people are bad people. It just means that's where you know, we're at in that

981
00:53:38.640 --> 00:53:45.640
situation. And so we need to really continue to ask the Lord for revealings for healing,

982
00:53:45.640 --> 00:53:50.960
you said a couple things there, people have forgotten me, and rejection, those are two

983
00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:57.760
different, you know, kind of lie categories. And so my question for you would be pretty.

984
00:53:58.840 --> 00:54:06.480
When is the first time that you felt forgotten? And that you would identify that with the

985
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:12.040
Lord with his help, and then lean into that for more revealings for healing and see, you

986
00:54:12.040 --> 00:54:17.240
know, what other trauma stories or memories or lies are linked to that. And then the rejection

987
00:54:17.240 --> 00:54:23.400
as well. So when is the first time you felt rejected by a friend specifically, because

988
00:54:23.400 --> 00:54:27.720
that's what's coming up. And you might find other things, people that you felt that rejection

989
00:54:27.720 --> 00:54:33.040
through that will come up. But let's start with the friend. And let's process that and

990
00:54:33.040 --> 00:54:36.480
see what else might come up, especially since you said that, as you all were talking in

991
00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:40.600
the breakout, there's emotions, there's things coming up, as you're processing that. And

992
00:54:40.600 --> 00:54:46.200
so look forward to hearing where the Lord will lead you in that. Also, just, you know,

993
00:54:46.240 --> 00:54:52.880
most people that have had to move around with military parents, automatically, like, it

994
00:54:52.880 --> 00:54:59.120
just is a trend that I see in heart healing. They have a tough time really,

995
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.520
establishing roots and things like that.

996
00:55:02.520 --> 00:55:04.720
And then when they do, they have to move again.

997
00:55:04.720 --> 00:55:06.480
And so there's just, it's a lot of struggle,

998
00:55:06.480 --> 00:55:08.600
or even if maybe your parents weren't in the military,

999
00:55:08.600 --> 00:55:10.960
but your parents just moved around a lot.

1000
00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:13.680
Some people go through that, very similar things.

1001
00:55:13.680 --> 00:55:15.800
So then we put up walls

1002
00:55:15.800 --> 00:55:18.000
and even when we try to pursue people,

1003
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:20.640
we still have in the back of our minds,

1004
00:55:20.640 --> 00:55:22.640
typically that first rejection

1005
00:55:22.640 --> 00:55:26.440
or that first time that we felt like someone forgot us.

1006
00:55:26.440 --> 00:55:29.240
And so we don't even still fully show up

1007
00:55:29.240 --> 00:55:33.120
in those relationships or flip side of that,

1008
00:55:33.120 --> 00:55:37.600
we attract friendships that aren't fully committed to us.

1009
00:55:37.600 --> 00:55:39.800
Same kind of thing with spirit mate.

1010
00:55:39.800 --> 00:55:40.640
I don't know about you all,

1011
00:55:40.640 --> 00:55:42.440
but I was good at attracting men

1012
00:55:42.440 --> 00:55:44.360
that were not able to commit.

1013
00:55:44.360 --> 00:55:45.660
And then when they did commit,

1014
00:55:45.660 --> 00:55:49.880
they were super controlling and manipulative and abusive.

1015
00:55:49.880 --> 00:55:52.840
And so none of that was good, okay?

1016
00:55:52.840 --> 00:55:57.840
So we wanna attract friends and the romantic spirit mate,

1017
00:55:58.240 --> 00:56:01.960
people that are committed, they're mature,

1018
00:56:01.960 --> 00:56:04.080
they're healthy, that they reciprocate.

1019
00:56:04.080 --> 00:56:06.920
So it's not just one person giving and giving

1020
00:56:06.920 --> 00:56:08.400
and giving and pursuing.

1021
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:10.520
No, it should be a mutual pursuit.

1022
00:56:10.520 --> 00:56:14.760
And yes, life gets busy you all, but you know what?

1023
00:56:14.760 --> 00:56:18.440
We make time for things that we wanna make time for,

1024
00:56:18.440 --> 00:56:19.280
don't we?

1025
00:56:20.720 --> 00:56:22.200
Yep, we do.

1026
00:56:22.200 --> 00:56:24.840
And that's the hard thing is that we actually,

1027
00:56:24.840 --> 00:56:28.560
it's hard for us to look at like friendships change,

1028
00:56:28.560 --> 00:56:30.360
seasons change.

1029
00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:33.240
They might've been a great friend in the last season,

1030
00:56:33.240 --> 00:56:35.800
but in this new season,

1031
00:56:35.800 --> 00:56:38.160
they may not be able to be that friend to you.

1032
00:56:39.640 --> 00:56:42.480
And so maybe God wants to bring a new friend into your life

1033
00:56:42.480 --> 00:56:46.080
that can be that friend that's reciprocal

1034
00:56:46.080 --> 00:56:49.180
where you're both giving and taking, okay?

1035
00:56:49.180 --> 00:56:51.480
All right, Candy, go ahead.

1036
00:56:55.720 --> 00:56:58.960
Yeah, actually my situation is very similar,

1037
00:56:58.960 --> 00:57:00.240
little similar.

1038
00:57:02.000 --> 00:57:03.280
Let me see, can you?

1039
00:57:03.280 --> 00:57:04.560
Yep, I see you.

1040
00:57:04.560 --> 00:57:06.520
Okay, yeah, it's very similar.

1041
00:57:06.520 --> 00:57:09.720
Like basically my issue is,

1042
00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:15.440
I was divorced in year 2020,

1043
00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:20.960
and then most of my friends,

1044
00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:22.960
they're not as active as I was.

1045
00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:24.720
So I tried to make new friends

1046
00:57:24.720 --> 00:57:26.960
after the divorce trying to make new friends.

1047
00:57:28.040 --> 00:57:30.600
But most of the friends that I made for some reason

1048
00:57:30.600 --> 00:57:32.920
can only make it at the acquaintance level,

1049
00:57:32.920 --> 00:57:36.320
not able to move it to the friends level.

1050
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:38.920
And I always have that feeling that they,

1051
00:57:38.920 --> 00:57:41.360
sometimes they talk behind my back,

1052
00:57:41.360 --> 00:57:46.360
or they make things up,

1053
00:57:46.640 --> 00:57:50.520
or they would, if I make a joke,

1054
00:57:50.520 --> 00:57:53.600
they would just think that joke is,

1055
00:57:53.600 --> 00:57:56.240
they make that joke like a serious matter,

1056
00:57:56.240 --> 00:57:59.080
and then talk about behind my back and stuff like that.

1057
00:57:59.080 --> 00:58:01.040
So I feel like, I don't know,

1058
00:58:01.040 --> 00:58:04.760
I feel like I always have that feeling

1059
00:58:04.760 --> 00:58:09.200
that I'm not able to make friends to the next level,

1060
00:58:09.200 --> 00:58:12.080
to become friend, just like acquaintance.

1061
00:58:12.080 --> 00:58:12.920
Yeah.

1062
00:58:12.920 --> 00:58:15.780
Tell me about the relationship with your mom.

1063
00:58:15.780 --> 00:58:16.620
What was that like?

1064
00:58:16.620 --> 00:58:17.920
Were you all really close,

1065
00:58:17.920 --> 00:58:20.000
or did you feel like you could never get

1066
00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:22.440
to a deeper level with your mom emotionally?

1067
00:58:22.440 --> 00:58:24.200
No, we are not close at all.

1068
00:58:24.200 --> 00:58:27.200
Yeah, my mom, she's more,

1069
00:58:27.200 --> 00:58:29.080
yeah, my mom, she's not educated,

1070
00:58:29.080 --> 00:58:33.760
so she's not, yeah, her life is just to,

1071
00:58:33.760 --> 00:58:35.560
I think the reason she have kids,

1072
00:58:35.560 --> 00:58:36.960
I have two brothers and one sister,

1073
00:58:36.960 --> 00:58:39.040
and the reason she have kid is to make sure

1074
00:58:39.040 --> 00:58:42.200
that the kid can make enough money to support the family.

1075
00:58:42.200 --> 00:58:44.720
That's the reason she have kids, that kind of thing.

1076
00:58:44.720 --> 00:58:46.960
Yeah, we don't have such a good relationship.

1077
00:58:46.960 --> 00:58:49.320
We don't really talk to each other that much.

1078
00:58:49.320 --> 00:58:52.020
Yeah, except only when it's necessary.

1079
00:58:52.920 --> 00:58:54.640
Okay, so a couple things,

1080
00:58:54.640 --> 00:58:57.080
and I felt like the Lord,

1081
00:58:57.080 --> 00:58:59.000
like immediately as you were talking,

1082
00:58:59.000 --> 00:59:00.640
I thought of your mom,

1083
00:59:00.640 --> 00:59:01.960
because ladies, here's the thing.

1084
00:59:01.960 --> 00:59:06.960
If we learn that relationships are only surface level

1085
00:59:06.960 --> 00:59:11.360
with our parents, most likely we're gonna believe that

1086
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:13.680
in every other relationship that we show up in.

1087
00:59:13.680 --> 00:59:16.880
Even if those people are trying to grow deeper

1088
00:59:16.880 --> 00:59:19.640
in relationship, we don't see them that way.

1089
00:59:19.640 --> 00:59:21.720
We may struggle to even interact,

1090
00:59:21.720 --> 00:59:24.320
and even when we want to go deeper,

1091
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:27.840
we might even send body language subconsciously

1092
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:30.160
to them that we're not there.

1093
00:59:30.160 --> 00:59:33.840
Now, the flip side of that is that you can also, again,

1094
00:59:33.840 --> 00:59:37.440
attract people that can't go there

1095
00:59:37.440 --> 00:59:39.060
because healing needs to happen

1096
00:59:39.060 --> 00:59:41.480
with your relationship with your mom.

1097
00:59:41.480 --> 00:59:43.000
Forgiveness needs to happen.

1098
00:59:43.000 --> 00:59:44.200
Sometimes what we can do,

1099
00:59:44.200 --> 00:59:45.820
I don't know if you all ever have done this,

1100
00:59:45.860 --> 00:59:48.780
but there were times that when I was younger,

1101
00:59:48.780 --> 00:59:50.760
I didn't know what I know now,

1102
00:59:50.760 --> 00:59:52.260
and I judged my mom a lot.

1103
00:59:52.260 --> 00:59:55.300
I criticized her for the ways that she did things,

1104
00:59:55.300 --> 00:59:58.460
and some of it was warranted, okay?

1105
00:59:58.460 --> 01:00:00.260
My mom had a lot of manipulations.

1106
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.880
little tendencies. She actually operated in a lot of narcissistic tendencies and things,

1107
01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:13.280
had a lot of depression, was really kind of MIA for a huge part of when I was growing

1108
01:00:13.280 --> 01:00:16.680
up in the sense that she was working all the time. And when she was home, she just was

1109
01:00:16.680 --> 01:00:24.960
not available. And so I had to look at the fact that not only that happened with my mom,

1110
01:00:24.960 --> 01:00:30.680
but my dad literally left when I was born, like he just left and he came back on and

1111
01:00:30.680 --> 01:00:36.660
off, but he was never really there. And so I had both bio parents that I really could

1112
01:00:36.660 --> 01:00:44.540
never have a deep relationship with. Okay. They were uncommitted in a sense. And so that

1113
01:00:44.540 --> 01:00:50.960
then caused me to attract friends. Y'all literally I've had to shed friends. I have tracked,

1114
01:00:50.960 --> 01:00:55.240
I've attracted so many friends that operated in a narcissistic tendencies, same things

1115
01:00:55.240 --> 01:01:00.000
that I grew up with people that were not committed. I've had a lot of great friends too, but I've

1116
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:06.840
had to really ask for wisdom and discernment to, um, know whether or not to interact with

1117
01:01:06.840 --> 01:01:14.040
someone in a deeper level. Can I trust them Lord with my heart? Okay. Um, and so when

1118
01:01:14.040 --> 01:01:20.120
I encourage you to really take some time this week and pray, uh, even if you already have

1119
01:01:20.120 --> 01:01:23.280
done a lot of healing with your mom, cause I know you've been, you know, doing the work

1120
01:01:23.280 --> 01:01:27.520
for a few weeks, Candy, you've been doing great. Um, I want to encourage you specifically

1121
01:01:27.520 --> 01:01:32.880
to ask the Lord if you have been criticizing your mom for the way that she was and if there's

1122
01:01:32.880 --> 01:01:39.020
things that you need to actually like forgive her for regarding her inability to connect

1123
01:01:39.020 --> 01:01:45.600
on a deeper level. Okay. She also has a tenant. I mean, she's, um, she's a very traditional

1124
01:01:45.600 --> 01:01:51.920
person. My mom, she's favored the sons more than the daughters. So yeah, that is that,

1125
01:01:51.920 --> 01:01:57.480
that, and then she said a lot of things that, that kind of hurts me because of, because

1126
01:01:57.480 --> 01:02:02.280
of her favoring to son to son. So she kind of like, she even said that, you know, my,

1127
01:02:02.280 --> 01:02:07.960
my, my daughter is not her, it's not her grandkid. It's only, she only recognized the son side

1128
01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:14.600
of the grandkid, you know? I mean, that's huge. And, and ladies, let me say this too.

1129
01:02:14.600 --> 01:02:19.000
It doesn't mean that when you forgive someone that you're saying what they're doing is okay.

1130
01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:23.880
I want you to remember that forgiveness is obedience. We're forgiving because Christ

1131
01:02:23.880 --> 01:02:31.240
forgave us. Okay. We're choosing to forgive so that we're not bound to those people literally

1132
01:02:31.240 --> 01:02:37.280
in those situations. And so, um, it doesn't mean you have to go back into close relationship

1133
01:02:37.280 --> 01:02:42.080
and try to make something happen that may not be able to happen. Now you can love on

1134
01:02:42.080 --> 01:02:46.960
those people and sow seeds as you go. But, uh, I'm really sorry to hear that that happened.

1135
01:02:46.960 --> 01:02:52.760
I'm sorry to hear that that's how your, your child's been treated. Um, but you forgiving

1136
01:02:52.760 --> 01:02:58.600
is going to be a game changer for you. I really believe that that can shift, um, the way that

1137
01:02:58.600 --> 01:03:06.200
you experience relationships in every area in the future. Um, but also be open to any

1138
01:03:06.200 --> 01:03:12.060
areas where the Lord might reveal to you where people have tried to connect with you on a

1139
01:03:12.060 --> 01:03:20.860
deeper level, but maybe, you know, intellectual people sometimes don't recognize social cues.

1140
01:03:20.860 --> 01:03:24.420
Hey, not saying that's true about you, but I'm just kind of putting that out there for

1141
01:03:24.420 --> 01:03:31.180
everybody that's on here. So, um, sometimes like the reason I, one of the reasons God

1142
01:03:31.180 --> 01:03:35.140
put me with my husband, he's very, very smart, man. I remember that was one of the things

1143
01:03:35.140 --> 01:03:40.020
when I was dating him, I was like, you know, I even said it to him, like, like he has,

1144
01:03:40.020 --> 01:03:44.940
you know, doctorate degree and like, he's just really smart biblically and in a lot

1145
01:03:44.940 --> 01:03:50.540
of other ways too. Um, and I'm smart too, but I'm just smart in different ways. And

1146
01:03:50.540 --> 01:03:56.420
so, um, there are times that God will show me sides of things that he hasn't even seen

1147
01:03:56.420 --> 01:04:01.900
or thought of. And then the vice versa, he sees things in ways that I might not have

1148
01:04:01.900 --> 01:04:07.920
thought of it or seen it, whether it's in scripture with people or situations. And so,

1149
01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:14.680
but that came and I'm able to receive that from him and vice versa, because we both healed

1150
01:04:14.680 --> 01:04:18.840
and then we are in a position to receive it from each other. Does that make sense? Everyone?

1151
01:04:18.840 --> 01:04:22.880
All right. All right. I'm going to keep going so we can get more people. Candy, thank you

1152
01:04:22.880 --> 01:04:28.280
so much for coming. Yeah. Jovita, go ahead.

1153
01:04:28.280 --> 01:04:35.720
Hi. I guess what, um, yeah, some of the negative emotions that came up for me were, um, just

1154
01:04:35.720 --> 01:04:41.360
feeling hopeless, uh, been feeling abandoned. I feel like some of the lies are that, you

1155
01:04:41.360 --> 01:04:48.160
know, God, um, isn't going to come through in this area or he doesn't care enough. Um,

1156
01:04:48.160 --> 01:04:54.040
and um, yeah, growing up, I guess like a lot of, um, physical sexual abuse was directed

1157
01:04:54.040 --> 01:04:58.840
at me. A lot of anger was directed at me. So I, I think I've realized now that I'm scared

1158
01:04:58.840 --> 01:04:59.720
of men too.

1159
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.880
and I've kept myself away from them.

1160
01:05:02.880 --> 01:05:04.880
I've been single for a long time,

1161
01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:07.760
mainly because I was choosing wrong.

1162
01:05:07.760 --> 01:05:11.040
And so I kind of pulled away from dating at all.

1163
01:05:12.120 --> 01:05:14.280
I'm trying my best to get out there, but I feel like

1164
01:05:15.240 --> 01:05:16.800
I mean, this has been great.

1165
01:05:16.800 --> 01:05:19.600
A lot of intense emotions have been coming up, too.

1166
01:05:19.600 --> 01:05:23.400
So I I'm wondering also that, you know,

1167
01:05:24.480 --> 01:05:27.280
I guess the lie also is that with these emotions,

1168
01:05:27.280 --> 01:05:29.560
are you just going to keep feeding them or is it going to keep

1169
01:05:30.160 --> 01:05:31.960
getting better? Are you going to heal at some point?

1170
01:05:32.800 --> 01:05:34.240
Yeah, that's where I'm at.

1171
01:05:34.240 --> 01:05:36.040
Yeah. And I will say you are.

1172
01:05:36.040 --> 01:05:40.480
You are. I literally if you ever wonder, just not in a weird way,

1173
01:05:40.480 --> 01:05:43.920
but like just look at me, OK, just look at me and say, OK,

1174
01:05:43.920 --> 01:05:47.240
she's gone through a lot and she's healed and she's, you know,

1175
01:05:47.240 --> 01:05:49.920
like look at people that are further doesn't have to just be me

1176
01:05:50.160 --> 01:05:52.600
like that are further along than where you are.

1177
01:05:52.600 --> 01:05:55.920
And let that be something to give you hope and encourage you.

1178
01:05:56.720 --> 01:05:59.560
Because if God did it for me, he can do it for you.

1179
01:05:59.560 --> 01:06:01.120
He can do it for any of you.

1180
01:06:01.120 --> 01:06:03.280
And so I want to encourage you in that.

1181
01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:06.920
The other thing, tell me about the abandonment.

1182
01:06:07.840 --> 01:06:11.880
So when when is the first time you remember feeling abandoned, Jovita?

1183
01:06:13.480 --> 01:06:17.560
I think it goes back to my my dad, because he was not very

1184
01:06:19.320 --> 01:06:20.920
he was a very angry person.

1185
01:06:20.920 --> 01:06:23.200
So a lot of anger came from him.

1186
01:06:23.200 --> 01:06:27.200
And just he was not around for a long time of, you know,

1187
01:06:27.200 --> 01:06:28.960
when I was in my teenage years and stuff.

1188
01:06:28.960 --> 01:06:31.360
And so I think it's.

1189
01:06:31.360 --> 01:06:33.600
Yeah. And so there's been some memories where

1190
01:06:34.520 --> 01:06:37.880
some things have happened and I felt very alone and lonely.

1191
01:06:37.880 --> 01:06:41.320
And I just and then I became this very, very independent person

1192
01:06:41.320 --> 01:06:43.560
that felt like I had to do everything on my own.

1193
01:06:43.560 --> 01:06:47.040
I'm also the oldest. So I just yeah, I feel like maybe that's

1194
01:06:47.040 --> 01:06:49.120
where the abandonment comes from.

1195
01:06:49.600 --> 01:06:53.280
OK, so this week, this is what I want you to do.

1196
01:06:53.320 --> 01:06:57.120
I want you to actually kind of sit in the memory of being a teenager

1197
01:06:57.120 --> 01:06:59.440
and him not being there. OK.

1198
01:06:59.440 --> 01:07:02.040
And it's going to hurt probably as you do.

1199
01:07:02.040 --> 01:07:04.360
OK, I just want to warn you, don't be afraid of it, though.

1200
01:07:04.360 --> 01:07:06.440
This is ladies. This is why it's so important.

1201
01:07:08.600 --> 01:07:11.760
What we don't face can't heal. OK.

1202
01:07:13.200 --> 01:07:15.400
You're not going to be here forever, I promise.

1203
01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:17.320
You're going to you're going to move through this.

1204
01:07:17.320 --> 01:07:20.280
But I feel like that teenage time is important.

1205
01:07:20.760 --> 01:07:24.240
And what I mean by sit in that, I want you to remember,

1206
01:07:24.240 --> 01:07:28.800
kind of ask the Lord to, you know, reveal an actual situation

1207
01:07:28.800 --> 01:07:32.760
when you were a teen, OK, like specific things that happened

1208
01:07:32.760 --> 01:07:35.440
during that time when he wasn't around.

1209
01:07:35.440 --> 01:07:37.280
What were you battling with?

1210
01:07:37.280 --> 01:07:41.600
And ask the Lord, what are the lies I received as a result of this?

1211
01:07:42.400 --> 01:07:44.520
OK, and write those down.

1212
01:07:45.080 --> 01:07:49.160
And then remember lies we want to have replaced with truth.

1213
01:07:49.160 --> 01:07:54.400
So, Lord, what's the truth to replace this lie?

1214
01:07:55.800 --> 01:07:57.800
And as you're sitting in that,

1215
01:07:57.800 --> 01:08:01.640
we don't want to just feel all the pain, we actually also want to feel

1216
01:08:01.640 --> 01:08:04.280
the peace and the presence of the Lord in those places.

1217
01:08:04.640 --> 01:08:08.800
And so I want to encourage you to literally ask Jesus, OK,

1218
01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:13.840
specifically ask Jesus where he was at when you were in that time.

1219
01:08:14.320 --> 01:08:15.480
Where was he?

1220
01:08:15.480 --> 01:08:18.880
Ask him to show you where he was and what does he want you to know about it?

1221
01:08:20.240 --> 01:08:22.479
OK, and let's just see what he shows you,

1222
01:08:22.479 --> 01:08:25.160
and I would love for you to come into the group and there's no rush.

1223
01:08:25.399 --> 01:08:28.520
Just whenever you, you know, process that and you're ready,

1224
01:08:28.800 --> 01:08:30.680
come into the group and share that with us.

1225
01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:32.960
And then if there's anything else that, you know,

1226
01:08:32.960 --> 01:08:35.840
maybe needs to be helped unpacked, we can do that.

1227
01:08:36.560 --> 01:08:40.040
It sounds like abuse and stuff came up tonight for you,

1228
01:08:40.040 --> 01:08:42.880
that those things resonated for you being afraid of men.

1229
01:08:43.160 --> 01:08:47.800
So give yourself a lot of grace, OK, during this time.

1230
01:08:48.200 --> 01:08:51.600
Give yourself permission to process however long it takes you.

1231
01:08:52.080 --> 01:08:53.920
You know, ladies, this is where it's really important.

1232
01:08:53.920 --> 01:08:56.600
The the hard work process is five weeks, OK?

1233
01:08:57.080 --> 01:08:59.520
We don't want people flying through it, OK?

1234
01:08:59.520 --> 01:09:02.560
So if anybody comes and you try to finish in a few days, we're going to say,

1235
01:09:02.560 --> 01:09:04.640
hey, you really need to finish this.

1236
01:09:04.640 --> 01:09:06.160
You need to take time.

1237
01:09:06.160 --> 01:09:08.880
But one of the things I want to say, and not that you'll be here

1238
01:09:08.880 --> 01:09:11.520
more than five weeks, but I just want you to know and hear

1239
01:09:11.520 --> 01:09:13.920
or anyone else that is in this kind of situation,

1240
01:09:14.399 --> 01:09:18.760
when you have things that are pretty big that come up during hard work.

1241
01:09:19.040 --> 01:09:22.439
I just want to encourage you to give yourself the space and grace to process it.

1242
01:09:22.439 --> 01:09:27.279
So if it takes you longer than five weeks, it's OK. OK.

1243
01:09:27.880 --> 01:09:30.760
All right. I just want to make sure everyone knows that.

1244
01:09:31.479 --> 01:09:32.200
Super important.

1245
01:09:32.200 --> 01:09:35.160
Thank you for sharing with us tonight and trusting us with your story.

1246
01:09:35.279 --> 01:09:37.200
Appreciate you. Thank you so much.

1247
01:09:37.200 --> 01:09:39.439
Lenina, did I say it right?

1248
01:09:39.439 --> 01:09:41.640
I was. I think that's right. Right.

1249
01:09:41.640 --> 01:09:44.720
Yeah. Awesome. Right.

1250
01:09:44.720 --> 01:09:47.439
So I didn't get a breakout room, so I didn't get to share.

1251
01:09:47.439 --> 01:09:49.720
So I felt like I needed to, I think.

1252
01:09:51.399 --> 01:09:55.520
Like, yeah, I wonder, were you in the main room with me?

1253
01:09:56.840 --> 01:09:59.880
Yeah, I wasn't. I went to a four and.

1254
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.880
It popped up. It popped up in nobody. Did nobody come in the room? Is that what you're saying?

1255
01:10:04.880 --> 01:10:06.640
Yeah. So sorry about that.

1256
01:10:06.640 --> 01:10:12.880
It's okay. I knew that that was a lie of the enemy, trying to single me out and say that

1257
01:10:13.680 --> 01:10:16.720
it wasn't important what I had to say. So I'm saying it now.

1258
01:10:17.360 --> 01:10:18.560
Right. Let's hear it.

1259
01:10:19.120 --> 01:10:22.160
Um, so I've been, quite frankly,

1260
01:10:24.720 --> 01:10:30.400
feeling fear. And I realized, I think I'm, I'm digging a little deeper.

1261
01:10:31.680 --> 01:10:39.200
Because I am afraid of being fooled. I was in a 20 year marriage where I was fooled.

1262
01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:45.760
And I was fooled and betrayed in the worst way and my sister was involved.

1263
01:10:46.720 --> 01:10:55.440
Um, and she reached out to me just just today of all days and asked if I was going to her

1264
01:10:56.240 --> 01:11:05.440
daughter's graduation party. And I feel stuck. Because I'm have this place of fear because I

1265
01:11:05.440 --> 01:11:13.920
don't want to be hurt by her. I just I'm scared of being hurt by her. I feel like I have let go

1266
01:11:13.920 --> 01:11:20.480
anger and bitterness and, and I have to let that go to move on. But I don't want to open myself up

1267
01:11:20.480 --> 01:11:28.000
to the possibility of being hurt. Because although she hurt me and admits it, for a long time,

1268
01:11:28.000 --> 01:11:32.720
she blamed me. She said it was my fault that she slept with my husband, basically.

1269
01:11:35.120 --> 01:11:43.840
So if I go to this event in two weeks, I'll see her. And I don't know that she will respect my

1270
01:11:43.840 --> 01:11:51.760
boundaries and just be cordial and not drag our family and my son's in a scene like I don't know

1271
01:11:51.760 --> 01:11:56.480
if I can trust that. And so I'm fearful. Let me ask you a couple questions. And we are going to

1272
01:11:56.480 --> 01:12:04.800
process the fear out too. But um, are your sister and your ex together? No. Okay, not that that

1273
01:12:04.800 --> 01:12:09.120
makes it any better. But I just want to know what's kind of the dynamic that you're going into

1274
01:12:09.120 --> 01:12:16.000
looks like? Have you and your sister ever gone through counseling together? No. Okay. All right.

1275
01:12:17.040 --> 01:12:23.040
Is this the first time you would see her since this happened? Yes. Okay, probably not the best

1276
01:12:23.040 --> 01:12:31.600
idea for you. Yeah. Here's why ladies. I'm all for reconciliation. I'm all for you know, of course,

1277
01:12:31.600 --> 01:12:35.920
your niece not feeling like you don't love her any of those kind of things. But here's the reality.

1278
01:12:36.720 --> 01:12:44.240
You matter. Okay, you matter. And you and your sister haven't even seen each other in person.

1279
01:12:44.240 --> 01:12:47.920
And then you're going to come to an event that's supposed to be about the daughter.

1280
01:12:48.720 --> 01:12:54.480
What's going to happen potentially is all kinds of triggers. So if you all were going to see each

1281
01:12:54.480 --> 01:13:02.640
other beforehand, and have time to process that a little bit more, I'd say maybe Yeah. But because

1282
01:13:02.640 --> 01:13:08.080
that's not at least as of right now happening, you coming and being there the first time ever,

1283
01:13:08.080 --> 01:13:14.640
after all of that, that's a whole lot of stuff. That's a whole lot of stuff. And that's just to me,

1284
01:13:15.680 --> 01:13:19.520
breeding ground for the enemy to come right in and steal that that young lady's day,

1285
01:13:20.160 --> 01:13:25.680
as well as create more hurt for you potentially. And so I would I would let your sister know like,

1286
01:13:25.680 --> 01:13:31.600
Hey, you know, we haven't even we haven't even connected since this all happened. And I think

1287
01:13:31.600 --> 01:13:37.200
that that would be a first step before I just show up at family functions. Yeah. And that's a

1288
01:13:37.200 --> 01:13:44.800
healthy boundary. There's nothing wrong with that. So I'm on the afraid of being fooled.

1289
01:13:46.160 --> 01:13:53.040
I think here, let me let me say this to your sister was blaming you. And even though I'm hoping

1290
01:13:53.040 --> 01:13:58.800
you don't believe her. And the fact that you're afraid of being fooled tells me that somewhere

1291
01:13:58.800 --> 01:14:07.200
deep down you have blamed yourself. And that you don't trust yourself now. And so we need to ask

1292
01:14:07.200 --> 01:14:14.000
the Lord to come into those places and heal those areas. So that you can start to trust yourself

1293
01:14:14.000 --> 01:14:22.160
because you know, I've been there not the same. It wasn't my sister. But I mean, sometimes you just

1294
01:14:22.240 --> 01:14:28.880
you can't see what you can't see. Okay. And so we don't want to punish ourselves and partner with

1295
01:14:28.880 --> 01:14:34.480
the lies that God, you know, won't protect us or that he won't reveal things. Again,

1296
01:14:34.480 --> 01:14:39.200
sometimes we see the signs, ladies, we do, but we don't want to believe them.

1297
01:14:42.560 --> 01:14:48.800
I saw signs when my, my ex husband was cheating on me. He wasn't coming home at night. Sometimes

1298
01:14:49.760 --> 01:14:55.280
where was he? You know, no clue, no clue where it was, you know, with the girl,

1299
01:14:55.280 --> 01:14:59.760
my spiritual daughter's dad and the things he was doing, everything had to be on lockdown.

1300
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.680
never no truck like everything was his stuff his private you can't come into total red flag okay

1301
01:15:08.400 --> 01:15:14.320
so we have to really ask ourselves at what point and this is lenina for you or anyone else that's

1302
01:15:14.320 --> 01:15:22.160
gone through these things when is the first time lord you were trying to help me see something

1303
01:15:22.160 --> 01:15:28.320
that i i just didn't i couldn't see i didn't want to see but you were trying to help me

1304
01:15:29.040 --> 01:15:35.280
so that you can start to see those times where you denied your own your own truth if you will

1305
01:15:35.280 --> 01:15:46.000
okay um that's what i had to do it helped me a lot to um really recognize man i i did i did see

1306
01:15:46.640 --> 01:15:52.960
i did notice things and you know sometimes he would even say things and he would try to confuse

1307
01:15:52.960 --> 01:15:57.520
me and try to make me think i wasn't really seeing what i was seeing there's that side

1308
01:15:57.520 --> 01:16:04.640
of it too ladies how often that happens but man when we can recognize you know what i did see

1309
01:16:04.640 --> 01:16:11.360
and not in a mean way like oh you know towards them but just in ourselves like i can trust

1310
01:16:11.360 --> 01:16:17.600
myself god i can trust you to show me things just again this gift of discernment jackie just

1311
01:16:17.600 --> 01:16:26.400
talked about we can grow in the gift of discernment and trust that what god is showing us is to

1312
01:16:26.400 --> 01:16:33.360
protect us okay so lenina i encourage you to kind of start there and let's see what the lord wants

1313
01:16:33.360 --> 01:16:41.200
to show you regarding like when you started losing that trust in your own self um and um

1314
01:16:42.960 --> 01:16:50.240
be asking the lord if there is any even though it wasn't your fault like when your sister said

1315
01:16:50.240 --> 01:16:57.600
those things deep down in your core did any of that did you partner with any of that that it's

1316
01:16:57.600 --> 01:17:05.520
your fault and and and how can you come out of agreement with those things this week okay

1317
01:17:06.480 --> 01:17:10.400
thank you for sharing ladies man we all man people have been through hard stuff right

1318
01:17:11.120 --> 01:17:14.160
so proud of you all for sharing sarah go ahead

1319
01:17:14.560 --> 01:17:22.560
hey bethany hi so yesterday this memory came up randomly i was thinking about how there's been

1320
01:17:22.560 --> 01:17:26.880
several times in our community group where you or one of the other leaders would say like you're a

1321
01:17:26.880 --> 01:17:32.080
finisher to different people and i was thinking like why do i resonate with that so deeply

1322
01:17:32.720 --> 01:17:36.720
and this memory popped up where i was in the middle of a piano recital

1323
01:17:37.200 --> 01:17:44.880
and i by that time i hated piano lessons and i had not practiced as much as i knew i should have

1324
01:17:45.520 --> 01:17:50.880
so in this middle of this recital in this church service you know people are all looking at you

1325
01:17:51.520 --> 01:17:58.800
i forget the piece and i freeze and i run out of the church auditorium and i've always said it as

1326
01:17:58.800 --> 01:18:05.120
like a really cute story of me being you know i was probably third grade so i was in the middle

1327
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:14.160
so nine um but yesterday when that memory came up i felt no humor about it whatsoever

1328
01:18:14.160 --> 01:18:21.920
and i think it might be one of the first times where i saw myself not finish something

1329
01:18:22.880 --> 01:18:27.360
and then i can see different things throughout my life since then where i haven't finished something

1330
01:18:27.360 --> 01:18:33.680
and so some of the lies i have started to stick with that okay this is huge sarah yes huge

1331
01:18:33.680 --> 01:18:41.520
revelation i think the lord is highlighting that to you and so in that memory i want you

1332
01:18:41.520 --> 01:18:48.880
to actually ask the lord to reveal to you how you really felt that day yeah and uh

1333
01:18:51.120 --> 01:19:00.480
what lies came up as a kid that you i mean again ladies remember as kids we can't process this kind

1334
01:19:00.480 --> 01:19:06.960
of stuff we just our brains aren't even developed enough to process emotional trauma and those kind

1335
01:19:06.960 --> 01:19:13.200
of things um also i'm just hearing the lord ask him if there's any other times where maybe even

1336
01:19:13.200 --> 01:19:21.600
even if it wasn't similar where the feelings that you had that day when you got embarrassed most

1337
01:19:21.600 --> 01:19:28.080
likely i'm not saying that's for sure but probably i i have a feeling there was another time of

1338
01:19:28.080 --> 01:19:32.080
embarrassment before that and i don't i mean i don't know your story but i feel like there's

1339
01:19:32.080 --> 01:19:40.320
something else there okay i feel the holy spirit on that so the lord will reveal any other connectors

1340
01:19:40.320 --> 01:19:46.880
there where you felt embarrassed like you had to hide or flee the room okay so ladies we're not

1341
01:19:46.880 --> 01:19:53.280
always man i feel the holy spirit on this a lot sarah it's not always you it's not always that

1342
01:19:53.280 --> 01:19:59.840
we run out of the room sometimes ladies we literally run away on the inside yes lord

1343
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.160
Yeah. Yeah. I'm seeing this hit a couple people on the screen even here. So I feel like this is

1344
01:20:06.160 --> 01:20:11.440
going to help a lot of people. So asking the Lord to reveal the emotions you felt that day,

1345
01:20:11.440 --> 01:20:16.480
are there any other times that you felt those same kinds of things where you either ran away

1346
01:20:16.480 --> 01:20:23.200
physically or internally kind of ran away or shut down? And let's just see what else he connects.

1347
01:20:23.200 --> 01:20:26.960
And as you said, there were other things after that, where you realized that you didn't finish

1348
01:20:26.960 --> 01:20:32.640
something. And so coming out of agreement with like, that you're not a finisher, that you,

1349
01:20:34.960 --> 01:20:39.840
let me ask you, like even right now, what comes to mind about that day? Like you couldn't,

1350
01:20:39.840 --> 01:20:44.720
you forgot, you froze, you couldn't finish the piece. What are the lies that you were hearing?

1351
01:20:46.640 --> 01:20:54.320
I think definitely embarrassment, but also like, this is the consequence of you not trying hard

1352
01:20:55.040 --> 01:20:58.320
or like, you're not giving it your all. Like this is what happens

1353
01:20:59.520 --> 01:21:06.400
when you're not serious about something. Hey, did parents say that to you? That sounds very

1354
01:21:06.400 --> 01:21:12.880
grown up as a little kid. I think I would just, I think that was internalized.

1355
01:21:15.840 --> 01:21:23.520
But I also think some of it is, my sister is very musically talented and I struggle with that.

1356
01:21:24.000 --> 01:21:29.760
And so I think it also, there's something there too, of me like being like, this is the end of me

1357
01:21:31.280 --> 01:21:36.080
trying to match my sister and this gifting that she has.

1358
01:21:37.120 --> 01:21:40.480
Yeah. And even as you were starting to speak there, Sarah, about your sister,

1359
01:21:40.480 --> 01:21:44.240
there's definitely a connector there. Like you had some emotion kind of,

1360
01:21:44.240 --> 01:21:51.760
I felt like as you breathed, it kind of came out, which is good. And so let's not hide in sister's

1361
01:21:51.760 --> 01:21:58.480
shadow that you have to be like her. Let's just accept who you are. And that you, you know,

1362
01:21:58.480 --> 01:22:04.880
this is the consequence just keeps ringing in my spirit too. Like you're not being punished.

1363
01:22:05.600 --> 01:22:09.440
Yeah. You know, and God doesn't want you to keep punishing yourself.

1364
01:22:10.160 --> 01:22:14.160
Yeah. Ladies, do y'all know it's okay if we make mistakes?

1365
01:22:14.480 --> 01:22:21.120
Yeah. God's not up there like, ah, gotcha. No, here's your consequence. No, I mean, He does.

1366
01:22:21.120 --> 01:22:26.400
There are, there are consequences to our decisions, ladies, for sure. But God isn't like,

1367
01:22:26.960 --> 01:22:32.320
He does not want us to put ourselves in prison because of these mistakes. That's what I'm saying.

1368
01:22:33.520 --> 01:22:38.000
And not that it's always these big, big, massive prisons. But again, sometimes there are these

1369
01:22:38.720 --> 01:22:47.040
internal prisons where we just feel like a failure or yeah, I, I'm not a finisher or I'm not as good

1370
01:22:47.040 --> 01:22:52.720
as that person or, or whatever the lie is that we're believing, well, maybe you're great at other

1371
01:22:52.720 --> 01:23:01.040
things that she's not great at. And so maybe there might be that, that might be the thing before the

1372
01:23:01.040 --> 01:23:06.240
thing that I was, there might be something there that I was not good at, but I'm not good at.

1373
01:23:06.640 --> 01:23:10.720
There might be something there. It could be something different, but I definitely

1374
01:23:11.760 --> 01:23:16.880
heard the Lord say there's something before the recital. So let's just see what He unfolds for

1375
01:23:16.880 --> 01:23:21.920
you. Okay. That's okay. Thanks, Bethany. Yeah, you're welcome. Thanks for sharing. Joanne, go

1376
01:23:21.920 --> 01:23:33.200
ahead. Okay. So this is like a very recent thing, pattern. I feel like this lie that I can't have

1377
01:23:33.200 --> 01:23:41.920
what I want, especially in relationships with men. It's like, I meet lots of men, but I don't

1378
01:23:41.920 --> 01:23:49.040
end up finding the man that has the same alignment like is around my age. I'm almost 46, never married

1379
01:23:49.040 --> 01:23:53.680
and I still want kids. So it's like, there was always like one or two or three things. They're

1380
01:23:53.680 --> 01:23:59.120
not Christian or, you know, and then I start feeling very frustrated and very disappointed

1381
01:23:59.120 --> 01:24:06.480
and almost like, God, are you tricking me? This is so mean. Like, why do you bring these men? But

1382
01:24:06.480 --> 01:24:15.360
they're like not anybody I can choose. And so I know it's rooted in my childhood because my mom

1383
01:24:15.360 --> 01:24:23.040
has been bipolar since I've been seven. And it's like, we never really got our needs met. Or if it

1384
01:24:23.040 --> 01:24:28.240
was our needs, it was like in and out, in and out, right? So there's this overcoming of anxious

1385
01:24:28.240 --> 01:24:35.040
attachment for me. So I think there's, and there's a lot of like word lies and terrible things that

1386
01:24:35.040 --> 01:24:43.200
my mom have said over my, me as a woman and like in dating. So I think there's this sense of like

1387
01:24:45.040 --> 01:24:54.800
settling, you know, like settling and tolerating too much beyond what is like good for me. Because

1388
01:24:54.800 --> 01:24:59.840
I was very abused like emotionally and psychologically as a kid. So I have a

1389
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.440
Tendency to like stay longer than I need to in friendships or relationships or even the beginning

1390
01:25:07.880 --> 01:25:11.300
So I think the the truth that I'm trying to

1391
01:25:12.120 --> 01:25:17.600
You know declare and start having faith for is like there are men in my around my age

1392
01:25:17.920 --> 01:25:23.480
We've never been married and what still want kids before I really see the evidence of it because you know

1393
01:25:23.480 --> 01:25:29.280
I see the fleshly evidence of my lie, but I'm like, I think this is working

1394
01:25:29.280 --> 01:25:35.780
I think the more I believe the more I'm gonna see that like this is possible and they do exist, you know

1395
01:25:37.360 --> 01:25:39.360
Sorry, I have a question for you

1396
01:25:39.800 --> 01:25:43.400
So give me an example of something your mom said over you

1397
01:25:44.200 --> 01:25:48.000
About being a woman or dating that was harmful. Can you give me an example?

1398
01:25:50.960 --> 01:25:54.100
Yeah, like for example she would like

1399
01:25:55.100 --> 01:25:56.420
Try to

1400
01:25:56.420 --> 01:26:01.360
Manipulate and set me up with men that I'm like, I don't want to be with that guy

1401
01:26:01.780 --> 01:26:06.180
Like he's not even Christian dude. Like why do you want me to like?

1402
01:26:06.900 --> 01:26:11.380
Consider a guy and like that. It's almost feels demeaning to me or like

1403
01:26:12.220 --> 01:26:17.700
Someone who's her uber driver and he's not really even a Christian too, you know, and I'm not attracted to you

1404
01:26:17.700 --> 01:26:23.300
I'm like, are you so desperate that you need me to be married so you can feel good about yourself

1405
01:26:23.300 --> 01:26:27.460
You know like you're okay mom, which you weren't so things like that

1406
01:26:27.460 --> 01:26:31.120
that's just one example, but there are like so many more where it's like

1407
01:26:31.540 --> 01:26:35.500
She would blame me if things in the relationship weren't working out with some guy

1408
01:26:36.180 --> 01:26:38.180
like just

1409
01:26:38.300 --> 01:26:41.700
Insert all these toxic thoughts like oh, maybe he's cheating on you. I'm like what?

1410
01:26:42.220 --> 01:26:47.360
Like just just things like that. Like it's very cultural to

1411
01:26:47.980 --> 01:26:52.660
like finding my value in my marriage ability like if I

1412
01:26:53.820 --> 01:27:00.260
If I have a man, you know, mm-hmm. It's like so it's something I've had a break for years

1413
01:27:02.060 --> 01:27:04.220
So, let me let me just kind of

1414
01:27:05.620 --> 01:27:09.980
So how has the forgiveness towards your mom gone? I

1415
01:27:12.020 --> 01:27:14.020
Think like I

1416
01:27:14.420 --> 01:27:19.020
Don't know. I mean, I do feel like I've intentionally forgiven her

1417
01:27:19.300 --> 01:27:25.420
But I can tell like when I talk about things what triggers me I'll be like, oh it's because my mom

1418
01:27:25.700 --> 01:27:31.660
It's because I'm very self-aware. So I could say oh, it's and I'm like wait, but I don't need to have this control me

1419
01:27:31.660 --> 01:27:33.660
I shouldn't have this affect me anymore, you know

1420
01:27:33.940 --> 01:27:37.900
Yeah, and and here's why I asked you that question before I said anything else

1421
01:27:39.460 --> 01:27:41.460
So

1422
01:27:43.500 --> 01:27:47.860
While you have probably forgiven her transactionally

1423
01:27:49.020 --> 01:27:53.100
Okay, which is still a good thing. You still have forgiven. You've still made that choice

1424
01:27:53.740 --> 01:27:55.740
um, I'm

1425
01:27:55.780 --> 01:27:59.020
Not sure that you've received compassion for her yet. Oh

1426
01:28:01.020 --> 01:28:03.700
Yeah, I think that's accurate I have some

1427
01:28:04.340 --> 01:28:05.740
Yeah

1428
01:28:05.740 --> 01:28:10.580
when you were described something that you said I could just hear and like

1429
01:28:11.660 --> 01:28:14.500
I'm just gonna call it what I heard bitterness

1430
01:28:14.660 --> 01:28:15.940
Okay, yeah

1431
01:28:15.940 --> 01:28:21.900
And and I'm not saying that because I think you're intentionally trying to be bitter or any of those kind of things

1432
01:28:22.180 --> 01:28:27.100
Anybody that would have gone through some of the things you've described to us. It would be hard. It would be really hard

1433
01:28:27.700 --> 01:28:29.540
But ladies, here's the thing

1434
01:28:29.540 --> 01:28:36.260
We we need to ask God to give us compassion for people doesn't mean we have to be okay with what they did or we

1435
01:28:36.260 --> 01:28:37.740
Have to be close to them

1436
01:28:37.740 --> 01:28:42.900
But are if we have bitterness in our heart and then we're walking around with that

1437
01:28:42.980 --> 01:28:49.020
It's showing up in every relationship. We're trying to be in we carry that baggage with us

1438
01:28:49.020 --> 01:28:55.020
and so you may be trying to connect with men and other friends and all this but

1439
01:28:57.260 --> 01:29:02.940
Internally if that bitter root is in there it stops the flow of the real you

1440
01:29:04.020 --> 01:29:06.020
from showing up

1441
01:29:07.340 --> 01:29:10.780
And so we really have to ask the Lord to help us

1442
01:29:11.780 --> 01:29:14.700
Heal from you know, even spirits in

1443
01:29:15.580 --> 01:29:19.660
Unforgiveness and bitterness and resentment towards people that have hurt us

1444
01:29:20.220 --> 01:29:26.700
Again, it doesn't and it doesn't excuse what they did ladies. We're not saying oh, it's just okay like no big deal

1445
01:29:26.700 --> 01:29:29.340
But what we are saying is hey my healing

1446
01:29:29.860 --> 01:29:36.860
Matters and I'm gonna forgive this person and I'm gonna choose to learn how to ask God to give me his heart for them

1447
01:29:36.980 --> 01:29:40.180
My mom did a lot of things not great

1448
01:29:40.860 --> 01:29:44.620
Growing up. My dad was literally like he just wasn't in my life

1449
01:29:44.620 --> 01:29:50.140
And even when he had an opportunity and he wasn't an alcoholic and drug addict anymore. He still never

1450
01:29:51.020 --> 01:29:55.020
Like never pursued relationship ever with me

1451
01:29:57.500 --> 01:30:03.620
And so I think it's really important for us to think about what we can do to help each other

1452
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.280
It still blows my mind.

1453
01:30:01.280 --> 01:30:05.600
He's no longer with us today, but just, I still even, I can't even comprehend

1454
01:30:05.600 --> 01:30:10.140
the way that my parents were because I'm very, I'm just very different than them.

1455
01:30:10.780 --> 01:30:15.960
Like I love my kids and I, I like show up even when they don't want me to show up.

1456
01:30:16.180 --> 01:30:19.440
I show up and, and they want me to, but you know what I mean?

1457
01:30:19.440 --> 01:30:24.940
When they're teens or young adults, this life is different, but I can remember

1458
01:30:24.940 --> 01:30:34.440
the time the Lord showed me how my heart was full of pride because I

1459
01:30:34.440 --> 01:30:35.720
thought I was better than them.

1460
01:30:37.880 --> 01:30:38.260
You know?

1461
01:30:38.260 --> 01:30:43.380
And when you really like are willing to look at like, okay, what's really in my

1462
01:30:43.380 --> 01:30:49.480
heart, like, it's great that I'm a different parent than they were, but

1463
01:30:49.480 --> 01:30:55.880
like, when I feel like it makes me over them and I allow that pride and that

1464
01:30:55.880 --> 01:31:01.180
bitterness to get in there, it, it shifts the way I show up in all different areas.

1465
01:31:01.560 --> 01:31:06.240
And so I want to encourage you to really process that this week.

1466
01:31:06.640 --> 01:31:10.840
Uh, they're, uh, not now while you're in the heartwork, okay.

1467
01:31:11.000 --> 01:31:14.240
Heartwork should be your main focus ladies while you're in the heartwork.

1468
01:31:14.620 --> 01:31:17.220
I really, we don't want you all doing a ton of different

1469
01:31:17.220 --> 01:31:19.580
devotionals and reading the Bible.

1470
01:31:20.060 --> 01:31:23.020
Doing the heartwork to watch the heartwork videos.

1471
01:31:23.380 --> 01:31:26.700
But when you are finished with heartwork, there is a book called the

1472
01:31:26.700 --> 01:31:30.060
bait of Satan that I highly recommend.

1473
01:31:30.660 --> 01:31:34.440
For anyone that you struggle with a lot of offense or bitterness, it

1474
01:31:34.440 --> 01:31:36.480
will be a great book for you to read.

1475
01:31:36.860 --> 01:31:37.160
Okay.

1476
01:31:37.160 --> 01:31:39.300
Again, after you're done with the heartwork.

1477
01:31:39.300 --> 01:31:39.740
Okay.

1478
01:31:39.760 --> 01:31:41.220
Can y'all agree to that?

1479
01:31:41.860 --> 01:31:45.780
Um, but anyways, Joanne, I know it can be tough and I just want

1480
01:31:45.780 --> 01:31:46.840
you to know that we love you.

1481
01:31:46.840 --> 01:31:48.240
We're going to be praying for you.

1482
01:31:48.680 --> 01:31:55.480
Um, and just believing for God to continue to heal the broken areas and

1483
01:31:55.760 --> 01:32:01.060
harmful words that were spoken over you neglect that was experienced all of it.

1484
01:32:01.320 --> 01:32:01.720
Okay.

1485
01:32:02.100 --> 01:32:03.040
And we're cheering you on.

1486
01:32:03.040 --> 01:32:06.540
And so as you process this more, I want to encourage you to come into

1487
01:32:06.540 --> 01:32:07.960
the group this week and share.

1488
01:32:07.960 --> 01:32:11.580
If you have questions, if you feel anger, like just tell me any of it.

1489
01:32:11.840 --> 01:32:13.060
Like I'm here for all of it.

1490
01:32:13.060 --> 01:32:18.000
So you can tell me however you feel, um, you know, and just let us help

1491
01:32:18.000 --> 01:32:19.780
you unpack that more as you go.

1492
01:32:19.780 --> 01:32:20.140
Okay.

1493
01:32:21.100 --> 01:32:26.620
Yeah, I think, I think what I yeah, I'll go more deeper, but I was actually

1494
01:32:26.620 --> 01:32:28.580
wondering, do I have bitterness with dating?

1495
01:32:28.940 --> 01:32:31.980
Like I actually was like thinking about that this week.

1496
01:32:32.320 --> 01:32:36.660
So yeah, I know there's deeper stuff, not the anger, but there's hurt.

1497
01:32:36.700 --> 01:32:39.180
So there might even be bitterness towards God.

1498
01:32:39.180 --> 01:32:42.880
You know, a lot of people are like, you know, we don't realize that

1499
01:32:42.880 --> 01:32:45.320
we actually hold unforgiveness in our hearts towards God.

1500
01:32:45.320 --> 01:32:48.880
And he didn't do anything wrong, but we can still have unforgiveness towards him.

1501
01:32:49.400 --> 01:32:53.560
And so really looking at those things and continue to have those good

1502
01:32:53.560 --> 01:32:56.840
conversations, like you're talking about with the Lord and let's just see what

1503
01:32:56.840 --> 01:32:58.060
else he reveals for healing.

1504
01:32:58.060 --> 01:32:58.440
Okay.

1505
01:32:59.200 --> 01:32:59.760
Awesome.

1506
01:33:00.440 --> 01:33:01.600
I have one more lady.

1507
01:33:01.640 --> 01:33:02.840
I'm going to let Janie go.

1508
01:33:02.840 --> 01:33:04.760
Janie would love to hear what you have to say.

1509
01:33:05.320 --> 01:33:06.280
Oh, good evening.

1510
01:33:06.920 --> 01:33:07.160
Hi.

1511
01:33:07.160 --> 01:33:12.880
So, um, as you were processing with Jovita, um, you guys were talking about

1512
01:33:12.880 --> 01:33:17.760
abandonment and, you know, I wrote down, I said, does God really care that I'm

1513
01:33:17.760 --> 01:33:21.400
struggling in relationships after two failed marriages?

1514
01:33:22.160 --> 01:33:26.720
And then I started thinking about, cause I'm still, I'm just finishing part one.

1515
01:33:27.200 --> 01:33:29.720
And so I started thinking about prayer and forgiveness in

1516
01:33:29.720 --> 01:33:31.040
my relationship with my father.

1517
01:33:31.800 --> 01:33:37.360
And I think for a long time, I didn't blame him for a lot of stuff in my life

1518
01:33:37.360 --> 01:33:41.520
because I knew now that I'm older as a parent, I knew he did the best that he

1519
01:33:41.640 --> 01:33:45.760
could do at the time with the resources and things that he had.

1520
01:33:46.320 --> 01:33:49.920
And so backstory, he was building businesses.

1521
01:33:49.920 --> 01:33:53.400
When I started, when I was 13, I started working at his grocery

1522
01:33:53.400 --> 01:33:55.040
store and he had like eight grocery stores.

1523
01:33:55.600 --> 01:33:57.000
And so he was my first boss.

1524
01:33:57.800 --> 01:34:00.240
So I never really had the father daughter relationship.

1525
01:34:00.840 --> 01:34:03.840
And so when I got married, I never saw him.

1526
01:34:04.280 --> 01:34:08.400
He raised me because him and my mom divorced when I was like in kindergarten,

1527
01:34:08.400 --> 01:34:09.480
first grade, something like that.

1528
01:34:10.040 --> 01:34:13.320
I mean, he married, you married him a woman because he felt as though I need,

1529
01:34:13.440 --> 01:34:16.160
you know, me and my siblings needed a lady in our life.

1530
01:34:16.880 --> 01:34:21.320
Um, and so mom, just so I know my mom was bipolar.

1531
01:34:21.320 --> 01:34:22.320
She was mentally ill.

1532
01:34:22.800 --> 01:34:23.080
Okay.

1533
01:34:23.080 --> 01:34:26.120
And so at that time, back in the seventies, you know, we didn't know

1534
01:34:26.120 --> 01:34:28.600
anything about mental illness and we didn't know how to deal with it.

1535
01:34:28.600 --> 01:34:29.600
He didn't know how to deal with this.

1536
01:34:29.600 --> 01:34:33.760
So he divorced her and she's since passed in 2008.

1537
01:34:33.760 --> 01:34:35.280
So she's not no longer with us.

1538
01:34:36.040 --> 01:34:39.440
And so, um, for the long time I kept, you know, it'll pop up every now and then

1539
01:34:39.440 --> 01:34:44.960
that I blame my father for not being emotionally available, not showing me

1540
01:34:44.960 --> 01:34:47.000
how to choose a man or choose a husband.

1541
01:34:47.800 --> 01:34:52.280
And so I, I blamed that because, um, you know, I've had two failed marriages

1542
01:34:52.840 --> 01:34:57.160
and he met both of my husbands before I met married them, but not that he gave

1543
01:34:57.160 --> 01:35:00.280
me an okay, or not that he, you know, we talked.

1544
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.000
about anything about it, like, okay, you gonna marry him?

1545
01:35:02.000 --> 01:35:02.960
Okay.

1546
01:35:02.960 --> 01:35:07.040
And so, and I said, I need to forgive him

1547
01:35:07.040 --> 01:35:10.080
for not being emotionally available because he was my boss.

1548
01:35:10.080 --> 01:35:12.240
We never had a father-daughter relationship.

1549
01:35:12.240 --> 01:35:14.000
He was my first boss.

1550
01:35:14.000 --> 01:35:17.600
And it was not until I was, my second marriage,

1551
01:35:17.600 --> 01:35:21.960
my first marriage ended and I moved away from the city

1552
01:35:21.960 --> 01:35:23.720
and I was no longer his employee.

1553
01:35:23.720 --> 01:35:26.160
I moved away from the city and moved to Florida

1554
01:35:26.160 --> 01:35:27.000
from Baltimore.

1555
01:35:27.000 --> 01:35:30.920
So then I said, okay, now finally we can have

1556
01:35:30.920 --> 01:35:32.680
the father-daughter relationship.

1557
01:35:32.680 --> 01:35:35.840
But, you know, that's been 30 years now.

1558
01:35:35.840 --> 01:35:39.440
And so I just sat here as you were talking,

1559
01:35:39.440 --> 01:35:41.680
I'm like, do I need to ask him?

1560
01:35:41.680 --> 01:35:43.440
Do I need to talk to him about that?

1561
01:35:43.440 --> 01:35:46.320
Because, I mean, I don't want him to feel bad

1562
01:35:46.320 --> 01:35:49.840
that he had a failed marriage with my mom.

1563
01:35:49.840 --> 01:35:51.880
And I think that's a generational thing.

1564
01:35:52.760 --> 01:35:56.920
I also want to ask for forgiveness

1565
01:35:56.920 --> 01:35:59.160
because I don't think that he showed me

1566
01:35:59.160 --> 01:36:01.000
how to choose a man.

1567
01:36:01.960 --> 01:36:04.360
And his, you know, he didn't show me,

1568
01:36:05.400 --> 01:36:07.400
is his relationship with my step-mom.

1569
01:36:07.400 --> 01:36:10.080
And he certainly didn't, you know, take me on dates

1570
01:36:10.080 --> 01:36:10.920
and that sort of thing.

1571
01:36:10.920 --> 01:36:12.880
Like I thought that I should be.

1572
01:36:12.880 --> 01:36:14.560
Yeah, like daddy-daughter dates.

1573
01:36:14.560 --> 01:36:15.720
He didn't take me on those.

1574
01:36:15.720 --> 01:36:16.600
Okay.

1575
01:36:16.600 --> 01:36:21.520
So I would encourage you to first pray and ask the Lord,

1576
01:36:21.560 --> 01:36:24.920
do you need to say those things to your dad?

1577
01:36:24.920 --> 01:36:26.680
Because ladies, sometimes we just need

1578
01:36:26.680 --> 01:36:28.600
to forgive them on paper.

1579
01:36:28.600 --> 01:36:29.880
We can write them a letter

1580
01:36:29.880 --> 01:36:31.200
and we don't need to give it to them.

1581
01:36:31.200 --> 01:36:34.520
Sometimes God does lead us to actually like

1582
01:36:34.520 --> 01:36:36.880
give somebody the written out,

1583
01:36:36.880 --> 01:36:40.160
like, or face-to-face, I forgive you for this.

1584
01:36:40.160 --> 01:36:42.200
Hey dad, can we have a conversation?

1585
01:36:42.200 --> 01:36:43.440
I'm going through heart healing

1586
01:36:43.440 --> 01:36:45.360
and there's some things that God's showing me

1587
01:36:45.360 --> 01:36:47.320
that have been really hard for me.

1588
01:36:47.320 --> 01:36:49.840
You know, just be praying and ask the Holy Spirit,

1589
01:36:49.840 --> 01:36:51.040
ask the Lord to show you

1590
01:36:52.600 --> 01:36:54.600
if that is something you need to have

1591
01:36:54.600 --> 01:36:56.960
an in-person conversation with your dad about.

1592
01:36:56.960 --> 01:36:58.200
Okay.

1593
01:36:58.200 --> 01:36:59.840
The other thing is that

1594
01:37:03.000 --> 01:37:06.840
the generational like experience is something

1595
01:37:06.840 --> 01:37:10.320
that I feel like God is going to enable you

1596
01:37:10.320 --> 01:37:11.720
to be a kinsman redeemer,

1597
01:37:11.720 --> 01:37:14.760
that the things don't have to continue after this.

1598
01:37:14.760 --> 01:37:18.720
And so I want to encourage you to come out of agreement

1599
01:37:18.720 --> 01:37:21.840
with any lies that you can't have

1600
01:37:21.840 --> 01:37:24.120
a healthy relationship that lasts.

1601
01:37:25.680 --> 01:37:26.600
Okay.

1602
01:37:26.600 --> 01:37:29.120
So any lies kind of circling around that,

1603
01:37:29.120 --> 01:37:32.720
dad and mom didn't have a healthy relationship that lasted

1604
01:37:32.720 --> 01:37:35.160
and now I'm not having healthy relationships.

1605
01:37:35.160 --> 01:37:37.920
God, you don't even care that I'm struggling.

1606
01:37:37.920 --> 01:37:42.440
Like anything that's kind of sounds and looks like that,

1607
01:37:42.440 --> 01:37:44.800
that you're coming out of agreement with those lies

1608
01:37:44.800 --> 01:37:48.400
and those belief systems and those thought patterns

1609
01:37:49.080 --> 01:37:51.120
and asking the Lord to reveal the truth to you

1610
01:37:51.120 --> 01:37:55.840
to replace the lie that's been kind of permeating

1611
01:37:55.840 --> 01:37:57.040
in your spirit.

1612
01:37:59.160 --> 01:38:00.000
And then,

1613
01:38:03.480 --> 01:38:07.440
yeah, I just, the emotional desire that like,

1614
01:38:07.440 --> 01:38:10.160
do you have an emotional connection with your dad now?

1615
01:38:11.320 --> 01:38:12.160
I do.

1616
01:38:12.160 --> 01:38:13.680
Okay, that's good.

1617
01:38:13.680 --> 01:38:14.520
That's good.

1618
01:38:14.520 --> 01:38:16.280
So that's progress, you know,

1619
01:38:16.280 --> 01:38:18.400
from what you wished you had experienced

1620
01:38:18.400 --> 01:38:19.720
when you were younger.

1621
01:38:19.720 --> 01:38:21.760
And there, I'm going to venture to say

1622
01:38:21.760 --> 01:38:25.120
your dad probably has regrets.

1623
01:38:25.120 --> 01:38:28.880
Having a spouse that has mental health struggles

1624
01:38:28.880 --> 01:38:30.280
is very hard.

1625
01:38:31.200 --> 01:38:33.520
A lot of times parents will shut down

1626
01:38:33.520 --> 01:38:35.520
if they don't know what to do.

1627
01:38:35.520 --> 01:38:37.480
Unfortunately, the children are caught up

1628
01:38:37.480 --> 01:38:39.440
in the middle of that, you know?

1629
01:38:39.440 --> 01:38:41.760
And so having-

1630
01:38:41.760 --> 01:38:42.600
He does.

1631
01:38:42.600 --> 01:38:43.440
He has regrets.

1632
01:38:43.440 --> 01:38:46.040
He apologized all the time for divorcing my mom.

1633
01:38:46.600 --> 01:38:49.920
He's 80 years old, they divorced when I was, I'm 60.

1634
01:38:49.920 --> 01:38:52.440
Okay, well, maybe that forgiveness conversation

1635
01:38:52.440 --> 01:38:55.400
will be very timely, Janie, then.

1636
01:38:55.400 --> 01:38:57.040
So yeah, just pray about that.

1637
01:38:57.040 --> 01:38:59.640
And let us know if you decide to do that.

1638
01:38:59.640 --> 01:39:01.560
Let us know like that you're going to

1639
01:39:01.560 --> 01:39:03.480
and then how it goes, okay?

1640
01:39:03.480 --> 01:39:04.680
Okay.

1641
01:39:04.680 --> 01:39:05.520
Awesome, ladies.

1642
01:39:05.520 --> 01:39:06.920
This has been a great night.

1643
01:39:06.920 --> 01:39:08.320
I'm so glad that you were here.

1644
01:39:08.320 --> 01:39:10.200
Let me pray for us and close this out.

1645
01:39:10.200 --> 01:39:11.560
Father, thank you.

1646
01:39:12.400 --> 01:39:15.240
Thank you for everything that's been accomplished tonight.

1647
01:39:15.240 --> 01:39:17.360
We thank you, God, for more revealings for healing

1648
01:39:17.360 --> 01:39:19.400
that will happen even as they sleep tonight,

1649
01:39:19.400 --> 01:39:21.040
as they go about their day tomorrow.

1650
01:39:21.040 --> 01:39:22.520
God, we thank you that we don't have

1651
01:39:22.520 --> 01:39:23.520
to have a spirit of fear,

1652
01:39:23.520 --> 01:39:24.960
but we can have a spirit of love

1653
01:39:24.960 --> 01:39:27.240
and of power and of a sound mind

1654
01:39:27.240 --> 01:39:29.480
that we are your daughters.

1655
01:39:29.480 --> 01:39:33.320
We are the co-heirs of the kingdom of heaven.

1656
01:39:33.320 --> 01:39:35.240
And so we thank you that even when the enemy

1657
01:39:35.240 --> 01:39:37.360
comes in like a flood, God,

1658
01:39:37.360 --> 01:39:39.240
that you raise up a standard against him

1659
01:39:39.240 --> 01:39:41.080
and you cause him to flee seven ways.

1660
01:39:41.080 --> 01:39:43.240
We thank you for your hedge of protection

1661
01:39:43.240 --> 01:39:45.680
around all of these women and their families, God.

1662
01:39:45.680 --> 01:39:47.480
We thank you that you would just help them

1663
01:39:47.480 --> 01:39:49.200
to hear what your spirit is saying louder

1664
01:39:49.200 --> 01:39:51.000
than any voice of the enemy.

1665
01:39:51.000 --> 01:39:52.680
God, we thank you that you would give them

1666
01:39:52.680 --> 01:39:56.760
a fresh revelation of who you are as God of love,

1667
01:39:56.760 --> 01:39:59.000
that you are the lover of their soul.

1668
01:39:59.000 --> 01:40:00.160
God, that you rejoice.

1669
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.360
over them with singing and dancing, God, and that you would turn your face towards them

1670
01:40:05.360 --> 01:40:11.680
and that they would just experience the beauty of your glory resonating and just transforming

1671
01:40:11.680 --> 01:40:17.920
them from the inside out. And we just believe all these things in Jesus name. Amen. We love you.

1672
01:40:17.920 --> 01:40:22.080
I'll be seeing you all in the group and look forward to hearing what God is going to do this

1673
01:40:22.080 --> 01:40:27.200
week in all of your life. Oh, activation. Stephanie, thank you. Oh my gosh, I almost forgot.

1674
01:40:27.200 --> 01:40:32.160
Okay. I'll do this really quick this week. I want you to create a post in the group

1675
01:40:33.200 --> 01:40:36.880
about the squatters. You know, I was talking about the squatters. So what are the lies?

1676
01:40:37.520 --> 01:40:42.480
So different from the emotions. Okay. We've been talking about emotions and memories a lot tonight,

1677
01:40:42.480 --> 01:40:48.320
but what are the lies that you're realizing are in your heart that you're going to evict this week?

1678
01:40:48.320 --> 01:40:53.040
You're actually going to serve them an eviction notice and say, you can't stay in my heart

1679
01:40:53.040 --> 01:40:58.880
anymore. So come into the group, create that post. And we look forward to hearing about those

1680
01:40:58.880 --> 01:41:03.120
eviction notices this week in the group. All right. Thanks for that reminder, Stephanie.

1681
01:41:03.120 --> 01:41:07.200
Appreciate you. All right, everybody have a good night.