Hello, welcome. Happy Monday, everyone. Hi, Sandy. Hi, Beth, Mandy, Lenina, Alicia, Judy,
Leah, let's see, Amanda, Nancy, and I have a couple iPhone or iPads. That's totally fine,
Nancy, on needing to be on or off of camera, excuse me. All right, well, welcome. I'm Bethany
Cooper. I'm one of the master hardware coaches here in the community. So glad to be here tonight
with all of you and just thanking God for all that he's doing in your lives and in this community
and in this season. If you're joining us new for the first time, please let me know in the chat.
Let me know if you're here, if this is your first live session with us. I want to welcome you
if this is your first time joining us for a live session. If not, welcome back for all of my other
ladies. So glad that you're here. And yeah, I don't think I see anyone that maybe Jovita. Jovita,
is this your first time? I don't know if I just maybe didn't see your name before on the screen.
But if it's your first time, welcome. It's not. No, I was there last Saturday.
Now that I see your face, I remember even you shared. Thank you. Yes. All right. See, sometimes
I remember faces, ladies. I might not remember your name, but normally if I see your face,
I will typically remember you. Hi. Look at all your beauties coming on screen without me even having
to ask officially. I love it. I love it. We're practicing coming out of hiding and being seen
in this season. Super grateful. If you're joining us for your first live session, please let me know
that in the chat so that we can welcome you again. Welcome back to all of my other ladies.
Supernatural Saturday replay, please, ladies. I know I always say this. It's like a broken record,
but it is really, really important if you all can to listen to these.
And this last one was about defining your like, why? Like, why do you want a spirit mate?
And not just in a general sense, but like getting specific, getting real with your heart in the process.
And so I want to encourage you all to check that out. It is under the replay tab.
And then we also David Dorman joined last night and we did record that.
So that's also going to be in your replays. And he helped break that down more to help you all really understand
how to establish what your why is. OK, so those are going to be super helpful for you.
I don't know if you've ever been through any kind of coaching, even regarding your purpose and having a why.
But it's like genuinely when we just have a very general why I want this, but we don't define really why.
Typically, we don't achieve it. I don't know if you all know that.
So getting specific and getting real with yourself is going to be really huge in this process.
Karen, welcome for your first time. I'm so happy that you're here as well.
But yeah, ladies, let's let's lean into that when you can and stay on course with the horse.
Oh, my gosh, that did not come out. I did not want to come out.
That was so funny. If you stay on track with the heartwork, it's going to go really well for you.
And then you're going to come and have fun moments like that where you can just kind of chuckle at all the things that happen on live sessions.
We have a lot of fun. We press in. We hear what heaven is saying to us.
And I believe that God has something really important to say to all of you tonight, even if you are here this afternoon.
I believe that every session is fresh. At least that's the way I pray.
So even though the content might be similar, I believe that there's different ideas, different stories or things that come up.
And even when the coaching happens, just different things come out and are unpacked in each time.
So we're just going to believe for fresh revelation. And if you'll pray with me, we're going to lean into that.
Father, thank you so much for who you are. God, thank you that you're an on time God, that you're never late.
Lord, and I know that even in the in the scriptures that there are times that the enemy tries to hinder the answer.
Even Jacob, he wrestled with an angel and the delay was the prince of Persia.
And we know, God, that the enemy tries to delay the answer.
So I pray, God, that every one of these ladies would have a revelation of your divine promise, your divine love,
and that you sent the answer even to him. But the enemy did try to delay it, but it didn't.
It didn't work. God, you came through and the answer did show up. We thank you for that.
So we just pray tonight that you would help us as your daughters to hear what your spirit is saying,
that you would help us to have an upgrade from heaven in our understanding of who you are.
God, that you're not a man that you would lie. God, you're not a trickster. You're not a liar.
You're not a thief. We thank you that you give us life and give it to us more abundantly, that you invite us.
us into a supernatural, amazing, good, adventurous, abundant life. God, we get to do this with
you and we're so grateful that you ask us to be on this journey. God, we thank you for
revelations and healing, bringing things out of darkness into the light tonight so that
they can not only come to the surface and that we would feel pain, but God, so we can
process them so that you can remove those and help us to move forward. We thank you,
Lord, for any ladies that even just continue to feel this feeling of I'm stuck, I'm stuck,
I don't know if this is going to work. Lord, I thank you that you would dislodge and remove
and dismantle every attack and every hindrance that the enemy has set up against them, but
also Lord, help them to partner with you in aligning themselves with truth and taking
steps forward every day. We thank you, Lord, for the word tonight. We thank you for revelation
on it. We thank you that you'll help the ladies' hearts to receive it the way they
need to. And we just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here and just having your way. In
Jesus' name, amen and amen. Y'all, he's not a man that he should lie, right? That's going
to be our coin phrase throughout tonight. We're going to lean into that as we press
into our topic together as well. So one of the things I want to do before I tell you
what the topic is tonight is I want to tell you a little story. And I'm going to start.
I did tell this this afternoon, but one of the things I want to point out as I start
to tell the story about my spiritual daughters, I have two spiritual daughters. I call them
that because I dated their dad for a long time and I love them like they're mine. I've
invested in them. They're invested in me and God just has really blessed me with them.
And anyways, as they've grown up, they've experienced a lot of trauma. They've experienced
a lot of pain. They've experienced a lot of heartache with their parents. And even the
brokenness that they experienced watching me with their dad, because it was really broken.
And I did a lot of really good things in that time with them that I believe a lot of really
healthy seeds are planted, which is why we're very close today. But one of the things I
noticed about them, and this is why I'm bringing this up, is no matter the good that was sown
during that time, it is still having an effect. So I'm not saying it wasn't worth it or it's
not working out or any of those things. But one of the things that stands out to me still
today, and it did when they were younger, is that they would have friends that we would
take them to church and they would make friends there. And they would be like good friends,
especially this one little girl in particular, the youngest of the two, Olivia. She had this
little friend, Sydney. And Sydney was adopted, was in a really good home, sincerely loved
the Lord, didn't hang out with kids that did bad things and all this stuff. But Olivia
would gravitate towards the kids that were rougher, that had a harder life and all this.
And both girls would kind of reject and push away Christian friends. I'm bringing this
up because there are going to be times where God is sending people to us, that he's sending
blessings our way. But because of the brokenness within ourselves, because our subconscious
is telling us lies, because we believe lies when the enemy fed them to us and they get
kind of down in there deep. And so even when we want to choose something good, our subconscious
sometimes will lead us to choose something else and actually push good things away. So
one of the things that Olivia ended up telling me one time when I asked her, you know, sweetheart,
help me understand. You have this person that's wanting to be your friend, but you keep pushing
her away, but you keep choosing this other friend. Like, I just want to understand, I'm
not mad or anything like that. And, you know, she ended up telling me this other friend,
she said, can understand what I've been through. And I, of course, logically can understand
that. But basically Olivia was telling herself a lie that someone who hadn't experienced
pain and terrible home life could never be someone she could connect with. That's kind
of at the core. She believed that they just literally could find no common ground. And
because of that, she literally put herself over with this other group of people where
she will probably, if she continues those kinds of friendships, which she's doing a
lot better now, but like if she had continued in that, would not walk into the fullness
of what God has for her.
her by any means. Okay, so why am I saying that? I'm saying
that because some of us because of what we've been through, our
subconscious, the counterfeit identities that we're living
into, whether we realize it or not, are causing us to push
away blessings and still do habitual things or choose people
that aren't healthy for us. Okay. And so on that note, part
of that is like experiences with submission that are not healthy
that are not good. And we experience things that are
actually not in alignment with heaven. They're not in alignment
with the heart of the Father. But they're authoritarian,
they're religious, they're, they push people down. And God
tonight wants to kind of set the record straight a little bit.
Okay. And so I use the story of my daughter, my daughter,
because I believe God is in the process of setting some of the
records straight in her life. And he's starting to show her
that, you know, hey, these friends that just live these
hard lives, like I have something better for you. And
she's starting to choose a little bit better. And she's
surrounding herself with healthier things. And, and she's
talking about like things that God is showing her even about
herself. And, and she's having these epiphanies and
revelations, and she's starting to heal. And the more that she
heals, the more if she will allow herself to, the more she
will step into healthier places and spaces and be able to
receive even the love that I have to give her. Because
sometimes when when I go to visit, she said to me this last
time, it's so hard when you leave that when you text me
after I just can't respond. Yeah, no, it's hard. But but
here's the thing. That's another lie, even though it is hard.
It's hard for me too. It's hard when I don't get to see them
every day right now. But she's believing a lie that we can't
still have a very healthy fool relationship. Do y'all see how
this works? So tonight, as I start to lead us into our topic,
which is I don't know if y'all caught it, it's submission. Okay,
that's what we're gonna talk about tonight. But as I'm doing
this, I want you all to be thinking about different ways
that your subconscious and the lies that you believe as a
result of your wounds as a result of the trauma, not just
about submission, but yes, about submission as well. But like
every area of your life, where, hey, like just things have
happened. And it's causing you to have this dialogue in your
mind and in your soul and your spirit. That isn't true. And
some of you are counting yourselves out before you even
begin, including this course. Some people join the course and
they will start to hear this internal dialogue. This isn't
going to work. This isn't going to work. Why are you even doing
this? Nothing's going to be different. That's the enemy
trying to keep you from moving forward. Maybe that's not the
lie you're hearing. Maybe it's something entirely different.
But I just want you to be dialed into what is the enemy trying to
convince you of that's not true. Mandy, she's 19 now. So
she's getting a little bit older. So she's starting to
understand a little bit more, you know, process. That's what
happens when we get older. And when we have enough truth around
us, you know, I tell them truth all the time, y'all. Every time
I get an opportunity, truth and love, truth and love. And
sometimes just love. Because guess what? Jesus is in me.
Jesus is in you all. If you've accepted him as your Lord and
Savior, he's in you. So you get around some people and you just
love them. And they're going to experience Jesus. It is that
easy. All right. So this is what I want you to also understand is
who is God. God will not trespass in your life. He will
not trespass in your heart. He will not trespass and force
anything on you. And I know a lot of us are like, yeah, yeah, I
know that. Yeah, I understand. But so many of us live from the
place of fear that God's going to force something on us,
including a spirit mate that we will literally not even be
attracted to or, you know, want to be with or, you know, like,
if I've got to surrender the pen, if I've got to trust God
completely, well, what if he doesn't give me something I
want? Let's think about that for a minute, ladies. I know it's
funny when we talk about it like this, right? But legitimately, we
hear this over and over and over again, we are afraid of
God, and we're afraid of what he's going to give us. Why?
Well, then, if that's true, then it actually reveals that we
don't really believe that God is good. Or
in addition to that, that he's going to be good to us.
So where does that come from?
So we're going to keep unpacking this a little bit more.
Some of us believe that God is mean.
Some of us believe that God does force us into things or
push us or lead us into
relationships that end up being horrible.
I believed that God,
in the beginning, years ago,
that God led me into that relationship
with my spiritual daughter's dad.
I do not believe that anymore.
I believe my counterfeit identity
led me into that relationship.
I was not living in the fullness of my value, my worth,
who God called me to be.
And I allowed myself to get entrapped
in something that wasn't healthy.
And then as God was warning me,
he was literally saying,
hey, he's not for you.
He's not the one.
I mean, he was telling me things the whole way.
And I kept going
because there was this glimmer of who I thought I saw
in the first few weeks when I was dating him.
And I kept trying to tell God,
well, no, that's who he is.
And God kept trying to tell me,
no, like, trust me, trust me.
I have better for you.
And so here's God trying to help me
the whole time I wasn't really willing to submit to him.
I thought that I knew better.
Isn't that crazy when,
I mean, it's crazy to me when I say it out loud.
I thought I knew better than the Lord.
Now, again, it wasn't because I was outright
trying to be rebellious.
Y'all, I literally am not a rebellious person.
I'm a rule follower.
I don't like to break rules.
At all.
No, don't get me wrong.
I had a little wild hair when I was younger
and I would do funny things and be mischievous,
but I was always worried about getting caught.
So here's the situation where I'm like,
I really just thought,
I really thought that he was someone that he wasn't.
And I was so convinced
that I just kept trying to convince God
that he was this other person.
Really, genuinely, that's what I was doing.
But God kept saying, no, like, hey,
and he would give me dreams, literally, y'all.
He would give me dreams and tell me
the stuff that he was doing, this guy,
and then I would find out that that was true.
See, this is a good God.
This is genuinely stuff that God does.
He protects us.
He tries to defend us.
He was speaking to me in that still small voice
in my spirit.
He was meeting me in dreams.
He was sending people to me, like, hey,
like, you're not, this relationship,
like, you're not the same.
What's going on?
Like, do you see all these things I'm trying to,
but like in my mind, God sent him to me.
And so I believe that, and that's what I kept going with.
So I'm gonna circle back to the God doesn't trespass.
What do I mean by that?
So a lot of times in this heartwork course,
I will talk about the do not enter signs.
And what I mean by that is that there are times
when there's certain areas of trauma or wounds
or things that we go through where we erect
do not enter signs on our hearts.
And we're like, okay, God, you can come in this area,
but not over here.
No, like, I just can't go there.
That person hurt me too bad.
That's too sore.
That whatever the reason is,
and we're just saying, no, guess what?
If that is what you say,
God is not going to force himself on you.
That is not who God is.
God is a giver.
He's a lover.
And one of the most beautiful things he's given us
is free will.
He gives you the choice to choose in everything.
Every single thing God is saying,
hey, this is who I am.
And he's coming and he's knocking on the door of your heart.
And he's saying, hey, like, will you let me in?
In a sense, that's what he's saying.
Will you trust me?
Will you follow me?
Do you believe that I'm good?
And here's the other thing, ladies,
is God also respects our boundaries.
Think about this.
Some of you actually think God literally forces you
to do things.
No, mm-mm.
That is religion that's convinced you
that God is leading you to do things
that are actually harmful for you or the enemy.
It's one or the other.
It's typically, you know, religion leading us
into believing.
that we have to perform or that, you know, we have to minimize ourselves and just suck it up because,
hey, we might not find anybody better. Yes, religion, the spirit of religion does convey
those things to us at times, doesn't it? Convincing us that we need to keep staying
in a relationship that's not healthy, but so does the enemy. It's both ends.
And so as you're walking tonight through this journey with me, I want you to understand that
Jesus himself set boundaries. When he needed to go away and spend time with the Father, he did so.
There are a bunch of other examples. I'm not going to go into them tonight, but
if he set his own boundaries, why would he invade yours?
Right? And again, this is all about, I'm trying to help you see that God is safe. God is loving.
God is kind. He's faithful. He's gentle. And he's not going to push himself onto you. He's not
going to force you to do anything. Now I'm going to start stepping more into the submission stuff.
So we have, a lot of us gone through experiences where there are religious men and women, both,
okay, who have weaponized the word of God and they've portrayed God and like through their
thoughts and their messages in a way that is not accurate. It's not true, but because we maybe,
and again, I don't know if y'all are like this, but way back when I first gave my life to Christ,
man, I was like a sponge. Everything I heard, I believed it to be true. And I was reading the
word of God and, and I feel like I was doing my best to rightly divide the word, but there was a
lot of stuff. I didn't even know where to look for the truth of what someone was saying to me.
And so if they were a preacher, I just believe like that, that's true. That's gotta be true.
He's a preacher. And again, I'm not saying we shouldn't have some faith and trust in people.
Okay. We should, but we should be studying the word of God and understand what it says for us.
Okay. I'll expand on that in a minute there. But when we've been under these kind of teachings that
misrepresent God, we put onto God things that are not true, especially if we've gone through
something where man or woman has hurt us. And instead of us dealing with that, we project it
onto God as if he's the one that did it to us. Okay. All right. We're going to keep going.
So then what happens is when we hear the word submit, and that's kind of what I'm alluding to,
when these teachings are being given, it's all, it's conveying the word submit incorrectly. Okay.
The Holy Spirit is the one who can help all of us discern what is true about submission as well as
anything else in the Bible. So from this day forward, I want to encourage you to
as you're continuing to heal, that you would always be asking the Holy Spirit to reveal truth
to you, to help you grow in wisdom and revelation and insight that you would read the word of God.
Proverbs is amazing for wisdom, revelation, insight. So is James, that you would seek out
wisdom. And that as you do that, you would also grow in your understanding of who God is and what
it, like, what does it say about his character? And the more that you study that and lean into
that, the more you're going to find that you serve a God who loves you, who's always been on your
side, who's protected you even at times you didn't realize he was protecting you, who is excited to
provide for you. I know that kind of blows people's mind too, because some of y'all think God's just
been holding out on you, but he's excited to give you the blessing that he wants to give you.
But some of us, if God gave us the blessing right now, it might actually destroy us, or we might
mishandle the blessing and then it slip away. Kind of like what I was talking about earlier,
when we have these subconscious things, we're putting up walls, we're pushing people away,
and we're like, you know, hurting people or not responding and all these different things. But
when we heal and God's preparing our hearts, guess what? We're making room. We're making room for the
new stuff that God's going to send us, and that's a part of what we're doing tonight as well.
So I want you to be thinking about just experiences that you've had with submission,
hearing the word submit. Were those good feelings? Were those not good feelings? Like,
have you had experiences that like have caused you to not feel good about submission?
As we keep going, Colossians 3.21 says this,
Fathers, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged. King James Version, same.
Scripture says this,
fathers provoke not your children to anger
lest they be discouraged.
Provoke here means to stir up, excite, stimulate,
especially to anger or provoke.
Lest they be discouraged,
they be discouraged means to be disheartened,
be dispirited, broken in spirit, be dismayed.
To actually provoke someone means to call it forth,
a feeling, an emotion in someone, an action,
to purposely stir someone up and to incite to anger,
to arouse a feeling or action.
Why am I talking about this?
I wonder if you're wondering.
Well, here I'm gonna tell you.
I'm talking about this,
yes, for some of you biological dads,
that's kind of happened.
But I also wanna point out
that anyone in authority over you
of any kind of fatherly or motherly role
who's mishandled their authority,
even an ex-husband or a boyfriend,
you didn't have to be married
to have someone try to put you under their thumb
or mishandle authority and try to teach you
that submission is something that it is not.
That's like, I want you to be thinking about
some of these things that people have said and done
that have harmed you
and actually caused you to be embittered,
to be incited to anger.
They've stirred this stuff up in you that's not healthy.
And obviously in this scripture,
it is talking about all the types of fathers, okay?
But with that, again, God is not like that.
So to grow in our understanding of God's character is key.
Who is God?
As love, kind, faithful, good, peace,
that's how the Bible describes him.
If you think of the opposite, what's the opposite of love?
And somebody put that in the chat for me.
What's the opposite of love?
I wanna see what y'all think.
Hey, that's right.
Okay, so let's think about this.
If God isn't who he says he is, it says he's love.
If he's not who he says he is,
can you imagine God hating you?
No.
Like literally we can simplify it.
When the enemy comes in and tries to attack us
and tell us that God doesn't love us
and he doesn't have plans and promises to prosper us
and he doesn't have anything good for us,
because see, that would mean like he didn't like us.
And then he's just out to trick us and deceive us,
but no, he's love.
He is full of love.
And so all literally we need to do is just tell the enemy,
no, God the father loves me.
He's a giver.
He gives me good things.
I'm his daughter.
I'm an heir of the kingdom.
And literally it can cause him to flee, the enemy.
Okay, I'm gonna keep going.
The word submission means to yield to the power of another,
yield to let go in the process and learn how to trust God.
Being willing to submit to absolute and greater truth
than what has happened in the past
or what is happening now.
Helen, yes, God in his discipline,
that's an, I mean, yes, he disciplines us,
but think about a parent.
Have y'all, I don't know how many,
how many parents do I have here in the room tonight?
How many, how many, lots of hands on that?
All right, when you discipline your child,
do you do it because you don't like them
or you're just wanna punish them
or do you do it because you love them?
Well, I know when I discipline my girls or my stepson
or they had consequences for things
that they were choosing that weren't healthy,
it was because I love them.
I don't want them to keep choosing things
that aren't good for them.
So we create guardrails and we create,
hey, these, as a parent, you talk to your kids
and you're trying to help them educate them
and understand what is like,
what's real, what's true
so that they can choose better next time.
Yes, discipline is different than punishment,
absolutely, 100%, but God is also,
he brings conviction, not condemnation,
is also what comes to mind for me.
I know that's different than what you're asking me there,
but I want y'all to understand,
the enemy brings condemnation and God brings conviction.
Conviction comes to help us lead us into repentance.
Does anyone know what scripture says
about God regarding repentance and how we get led there?
through his what?
Kindness.
Yes, his loving kindnesses.
Isn't that interesting?
Think about that as well as we're talking about this.
If God draws us and leads us to repentance through his loving kindnesses,
while he is, yes, correcting us, redirecting us,
trying to get us onto the path that leads to life,
it's all rooted in his love for us.
Okay, I'm going to keep going.
Great questions.
All right.
When we know the one we are submitting to and we trust them,
it can help us to choose to submit to them.
When you really know someone and you know that you can trust them,
it can help you then choose to submit to them.
So first and foremost, who am I asking you to submit to tonight?
Well, God first.
That's what I'm talking about tonight.
That in the days ahead, ladies, that you would choose to supernaturally surrender.
Again, this isn't something you can just do on your own.
We can't do this in our flesh.
We need the grace of God, the revelation of heaven,
the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to choose to submit daily.
Daily submitting and surrendering the pen to the Lord
and trusting that he is a good father and he wants to lead us into good things.
Submission is not about someone dominating us, controlling us,
manipulating us, putting us under their thumb.
I know people have this fear that if I actually step into a relationship,
even people that want relationship and want to get married,
they're afraid to step into it because they're afraid they're going to be a doormat to someone.
Well, if that's something that you fear,
that's showing you something right there that needs healing.
A healthy man who is full of the spirit and walks in the fruits of the spirit
is not going to make you his doormat.
If you've experienced situations like that in the past,
I would encourage you to lean into that for healing with the Lord
so that you don't carry that baggage and mindset into a healthy relationship.
All right.
Submission is not about someone dominating us, controlling us, manipulating us,
putting us under their thumb, oppressing us, pushing us down.
This is what submission is.
I want you to think about it as a mutual respect.
You've got person one who hopefully is healthy.
Person number two who's healthy.
In this example, both healthy people.
Perfect? No.
Healthy? Yes.
Okay.
And what they're doing is they're mutually both people.
Look at this.
Even Stephen here.
They're both choosing to submit to one another through what?
Honor, respect, and surrender.
That's what submission is.
So it's the same way with the Lord.
We're choosing to submit.
We're choosing to respect the Lord.
We're choosing to honor him and surrender.
In a healthy relationship,
when you've got someone healthy that you're in that relationship with,
you do that out of love, ladies.
Not someone lording something over you.
Okay?
Revelation 3.20 says,
Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come into him and eat with him and he with me.
That's the scripture that I was referring to earlier.
Helen, this relates to the church because sometimes in church,
people that are not healthy and in churches,
as well as in secular worlds,
lord authority over other people and they oppress people and they,
they use the word of God and they tell people to submit to things that
are not true.
And I could give a lot of examples,
but then we'd be here a real long time tonight.
So I'm kind of generalizing some things,
but that's how it relates to the church. So for example,
one thing that I'll bring up is when I was going through my divorce and I
wasn't even going through the divorce yet.
This was before and I just needed help because it was, it was abusive.
There was a lot of stuff going on.
And I like just to kind of put this out there as I'm telling this story,
I didn't talk bad about my husband in church.
Like I wasn't one of those people. Okay.
But it was really bad.
And I really needed help at the point we were at.
And I was at this practice for this play for church.
And I was standing there with my pastor's wife.
And I told her something that was going on,
because I really needed help, y'all.
And y'all, I got scolded for that.
I love her.
I've forgiven her.
But I got in trouble for that, because I
was talking about my husband in front of other people.
And then was like, after that, kind of
taught what was appropriate behavior for a wife, OK?
All right, so those are the kind of things I'm talking about.
That was an abuse of her authority.
And she was reprimanding me for something
that I didn't need to be reprimanded for.
I needed help, yeah.
So we can understand.
Now, that's a very, actually a very,
even though it's very hard for me,
that's a very small example.
There's a lot of other, like, from the pulpit things
that pastors and preachers have said.
And again, there's a lot of really good pastors
and preachers.
Y'all, I'm married to one, OK?
I love me some pastors and some ministers and preachers.
So I'm not hating on pastors and leaders, OK?
But it's just something we need to talk about it.
Because there's a lot of people that have gone through that,
and they don't know how to get help for what's happened.
And it's hurting them in their relationships today, OK?
All right, I have one more scripture for you.
Oh, I was going to say, kind of circle back to,
in the heart healing process, just
remember, as I'm kind of trying to tie everything back
into that tonight, we want to encourage you to yield to God,
OK?
So that's who you're yielding to in the heart work process.
Remember, he's not going to force his way on you.
He's standing at the door of your heart, and he's knocking,
and he's asking for permission to enter in.
And he's giving you the choice to surrender and submit.
Two more scriptures, Job 22, 21, and the NLT version
says this, submit to God, and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
Read that again.
Submit to God, and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
Peace here in Hebrews actually means
to be in a covenant of peace, to complete, to finish,
to make whole, or good, to restore.
God is literally saying, if we submit to him,
we will literally be in a covenant of peace,
and he'll make things good for us.
Proverbs 3, 5 in the message version
says this, trust God from the bottom of your heart.
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do.
Everywhere you go, he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
So it's that daily, remember, he's the vine,
we're the branches.
Apart from him, we can't do anything.
We need his help to light that lamp onto our feet
and that light onto our path, that voice behind us
telling us the way to go.
These are all scriptures that I'm
talking to you about right now.
That daily, Lord, OK, help me to know where to go today, Lord.
That communion with him and that growing in your relationship
with him, and that you would listen to that even
in relationship in the days to come.
All right, I'm going to get you ready for your breakout
session.
I want to tell you a little bit about the activations
for this week just in case, because I almost
forgot again this afternoon.
So two activations this week.
You guys have the submission activation,
which is that when you first joined the program,
you signed that permission slip where
you're giving God permission.
I'm going to read it over you here in a little bit.
I want to encourage you all to print that out and put that up
somewhere you see it every day, and that you would pray
that over yourself every day.
You don't have to be religious about it,
but just if you miss a day, don't feel guilt
or any of that kind of stuff.
But just the point is that you're
that constant partnering with that submission and surrender.
That's number one.
Number two, I have this roots and trees activation
that I would love for you all to do.
I'm going to, I'll show you in a little bit
when you come back from breakout what that looks like.
But basically, roots and fruits.
We all have fruits in our lives that we're displaying right now.
Some of the fruit is good.
Some of the fruit, well, I prefer to say healthy, unhealthy.
That's my preference.
But it all goes down to the roots.
So whatever fruits we're displaying
are connected to a root.
So what's the root?
root system that's going on in your life right now for good, for healthy, or for unhealthy?
And what kind of fruit is that then creating in your life?
So for example, if you are constantly struggling with fear, what's the root?
What is that rooted in?
Is that rooted in, you know, a trauma from when you were younger when you got scared?
It could be something simple like that.
Or it could be a big scare, you know.
Are you struggling with pornography, lust, you know, having sexual relationship outside
of marriage?
If so, what is that rooted in?
Where you're literally, and hey, ladies, I want to remind you, you don't have to figure
this all out on your own.
Remember, you're going to ask the Holy Spirit.
Everything that we do in this community, we want you to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal
these areas for healing, to show you roots and fruits, yeah, yeah, for revealing for
healing so that he can help you kind of as you go.
And you can always add to the tree later on.
But when you come back, I will show you what some examples of some things other people
have done.
And just to inspire you, you can do your own version.
It doesn't have to look like anybody else's.
But I did want to tell you, those are the two activations.
I am going to put them up in the group like I did last week.
So if you come into the group, you'll see the post there.
It'll explain it again for you.
And hopefully that's helpful for you all.
But all right, we're going to get ready for this breakout session.
Here's your question for the breakout.
Do you struggle with submission and why?
And if you don't struggle with submission, it's totally fine, ladies.
You can say, hey, I really don't struggle with submission, but also be very open because
you just never know what the Holy Spirit might highlight for you, okay?
So one of the things I was saying this afternoon that came to mind when I said that to the
ladies was, I've had a lot of people that have had experiences with teachers.
And you might not think of that as an authority figure that mishandled their authority in
some way, but that does happen very often and it wounds a lot of people.
And so there's different types of authority figures that where we just didn't feel safe
with them or they did something that was hurtful or harmful.
And God wants to heal you of those things tonight, okay?
All right, before we go in, I'm going to read this submission activation over you.
And I always try to encourage you all, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I
do try to encourage you to close your eyes and just let this kind of like wash over you
to prepare you to go in for this breakout session.
Okay, here we go.
Father God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that
does not belong to my true identity.
And that is hindering me from living the life you created me to live.
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest places in my heart.
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting.
When you reveal these broken places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your
care and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.
I set aside the season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness and ask Holy Spirit
to take charge of this process.
I ask that you dwell with me and in me.
I need you.
I cannot heal myself.
I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly am.
Help me to become who you created me to be.
Show me the lies I've believed about myself, my life, my surroundings, even the lies I've
believed about you, God.
Teach me the greater truth.
Teach me your ways.
Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly.
Teach me.
Show me.
Heal me.
Grow me.
In Jesus name.
Amen.
All right.
Let me get these breakout sessions ready for you.
For our new ladies, the breakout session, the little thing will pop up on your screen
here in just a moment.
I'll tell you when.
And when that does, you just click to join it.
If you get into a room and you're sitting there by yourself, don't panic.
I am going to try to move you around.
But I will say, if anyone gets into a room and you're sitting there for a while and it
looks like there's another person there, but they're not responding, it could be an internet
connection issue or anything else.
Sometimes people have an issue getting their sound to work.
Just come back to the main room and I can get you reset.
Just because I don't want someone sitting the whole time in a room by themselves, okay?
Everyone good on that?
All right.
Let me have you set for eight minutes here.
Go ahead and click to join those.
That's popping up for you there.
And I'll be praying for y'all while you're in there.
Once I get everyone situated.
Rosie, are you able to go in tonight, just so I know?
Sorry, it's taking me a little longer than normal, ladies.
I have people popping around here.
All right, Anna, I just moved you.
Did you see that thing pop up for you?
I didn't get anything, no.
All right, let me just move you again. It's totally fine.
Thanks.
All right.
Somebody else sitting here by themselves.
I got to move a bunch of people around tonight, ladies.
Did you get that? It should have popped up for you there.
I sent you another one.
Tap on the bottom of your screen and see if you see where it says breakout session.
I put you in, after I asked you that the last time, I put you in room 14.
Let me try again. Let's see if it'll pop up on your screen this time.
Do you see it there?
No, and that's weird because before it was showing.
If you go out, I hate to make you do this, but if you go out and come right back in, it might let me put you in.
I don't know what's going on.
I'll try that.
All right, thanks.
I think I have everyone situated father. Thank you so much for your amazing grace. God, we thank you for healing.
We thank you for redemption and restitution and every area of our lives. We thank you, God, that.
Hi, Anna. Welcome back.
Let's see if we can get just situated here.
Okay, I just popped you into room 14. Let me know if that.
There we go. Awesome.
Thank you for even just tech issues for working it all out. God, we thank you that you work in all things.
Okay, let's see.
Oh, that's okay. I think I see you. I don't I had a couple people with iPhone title of my eyes twitching. Sorry.
I think this is you. Let me just bump you into this other room to something pop up there for you to join.
You're welcome. Ashley, did you get bumped out.
I couldn't get my phone to connect to the audio so I was in with Susan, if you know where she is.
Make sure Susan's not by herself.
I don't see Susan. Let me just get you in a room so that you have time to interact with the ladies. Okay.
Yeah. All right. There you go. Thank you.
All right. So where we just thank you for continuing to work in every lady's lives. We thank you for just ministering.
I just hear the word, the sweetness of your spirit to the ladies tonight.
I thank you that your presence is like, like a sweet aroma and a fragrance.
And Lord, I thank you that you'll help them to come out of alignment with the lies that you're not safe, that you're not good,
but that you would literally even just give some of them a picture and a visual of being in a garden with you, a safe place,
something that's beautiful. It's full of life. It's full of hope.
And Lord, that as we surrender and submit our lives to you, that you,
you want to lead us into wide open spaces and you want to help us to experience the fullness of your glory and so many ways.
And Lord, we just thank you for revelation and transformation,
that you are transforming us by the renewing of our minds, that all things have passed away.
And behold, everything is becoming new.
And so Lord, I thank you that you would just,
yeah, that you would just help us to hear God,
your truth, that we would know your truth
and that it would set us free.
We thank you for helping us to have freedom
and revelation and insight and supernatural ways.
We thank you Lord for helping us to experience
your joy unspeakable and full of glory, God,
that we would know that we can experience
the goodness of God in the land of the living.
We don't have to wait until we get to heaven one day
to experience that.
We thank you, God, that you breathe the life into us,
almost like fresh breath into our nostrils,
into our spirit, into our soul, God,
that we can breathe you in and we can, yeah, Lord,
just experience the power of your presence,
but the renewal of your spirit flowing into us,
that you would be like that river that's flowing
of living waters, not death, not destruction, not pain,
but Lord, you have a purpose and a plan to prosper us,
to give us a hope, to give us a future.
Lord, if there's any area where we're still believing lies
or limiting belief systems that are holding us back,
Lord, I pray that you would just continue to reveal
those supernaturally to us,
that you would help us to see these little sneaky areas
and crevices that the enemy is still kind of hiding in,
if you will, in our spirit and soul,
which is leading us away from you.
We thank you, God, that as you reveal these areas to us,
that we wouldn't be overwhelmed,
that we wouldn't be afraid,
but God, we would be able to turn to you
and know that you're the great physician.
Nothing's too hard for you.
We're not too big of a mess.
God, we thank you for physical healing,
emotional healing, mental healing,
financial healing and spiritual healing.
God, we thank you that you had placed the balm of Gilead
upon every wound, upon every broken spot,
even every wound that has come through unhealthy teachings
about submission or people that have said things
that are harmful to us, that are people in authority.
We thank you, God, for just, yes, Lord,
coming in and redeeming our minds.
Lord, I thank you that you would help us
to forgive those people, to release them, to let them go,
that we would yield to you, Lord, and know that we are,
yes, Lord, that you're leading us into wide open spaces
and that you're helping us, Lord,
just as even Isaiah 43 talks about,
that you're doing something new.
Can you not perceive it?
We thank you that you're creating rivers in the wasteland
and streams in the desert,
and you're bringing life where there's been death.
We thank you, God, that your resurrection power
is at work within us.
So Lord, we thank you that we will not limit you
because of the things we've been through, God,
that we are different now and we are being made new
day by day by day, like, Lord, just even that truth
that we are being changed from glory to glory to glory,
that every day that we have a new revelation,
we can step further into your truth.
Psalm 86, 17 says, send me a miraculous sign
to show me how much you love me
so that those who hate me will see it and be ashamed.
Don't they know that you, Lord, are my comforter,
the one who comes to help me?
I love that scripture.
Show them, Lord, show those people.
I love how God says in his word that he will prepare
a table for us in the presence of our enemies
and that he will bless us,
and even our enemies will have to turn around and bless us.
I don't know if y'all know, but scripture does say that.
When we follow the Lord and we live for him,
that he'll make even our enemies have to bless us.
And so just be leaning into the truth.
You know, again, what is the truth?
And the truth is what sets us free,
but the revelation and applying the truth
is kind of a key concept there.
So welcome back.
I'm so glad you're joining us again.
Everyone is back in the main room.
I wanna go ahead and open it up.
Who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in the breakout session?
Sarah from SoCal, go ahead.
You're muted if you're talking, sweetie.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hi, Bethany.
Hi, everybody.
I was gonna share in group the last 60 seconds,
but then I accidentally pressed leave now.
And so I didn't get to share,
but we were having a good time getting to know each other.
But I would say I really struggle with submission
to people in authority.
I often mistrust.
I like, it's hard.
It's hard for me.
I mean, like the principal, I'm an educator,
the principal at the school that I worked at,
I was a long-term sub.
I just, it was really hard for me to trust my.
kept having, I mean, not that I mean, not that he didn't have
or gave me a reason not to trust him, but I just always am
suspicious. I'm always kind of, and I don't know why I do that,
you know, with my church, I tend to not trust like I, I do trust
until I have, I guess, maybe a reason not to, and then I tend
to be, you know, but it's, it is hard. It's hard to, like, I feel
like I want to give them the, like, you're the leader, and I
want to trust you. And I want to believe that you have best in
mind. But sometimes, like, if maybe you've done something that
that I don't agree with, or you've made it or something
sometimes it's hard for me, but I, I'm trying to get better
about that. I am trying to get better about that. But yeah, I
could definitely it can be hard.
Yes. And this brings up a good thing that we talked about this
afternoon. It made me think of it just now. Um, you know,
sometimes we are discerning things, right? Okay. And that's
the other flip side that we haven't talked about yet. There
are going to be times where literally we're discerning
something about those in authority over us. But then what
do we do with that information? Do we just rebel against them?
What do we do? So we need to pray into that a most important
follow the Holy Spirit and everything that you do. But you
know, some situations, I'm not saying everybody should just go
quit their jobs if it's hard, because guess what, ladies, life
is hard, right? All right. We're going to encounter things, but
there are times where God will allow us to experience a
situation from my experience to get us to move to the next place
we're supposed to be. That's not a word for everybody. So don't
everybody go quit your jobs. But I am saying that that is for
some people that those are the kind of things God's not causing
those people to mistreat us or do things, but he will use that
to shift us and get us to move on out of there at times at
times, right. So be aware of that. The other thing I want to
mention, and this isn't something you said, and I'm
going to come back and circle back to ask you a question here
in a second, Sarah. But I also want to mention this because it
came up this afternoon as well. Joy is actually here tonight.
It's hopefully it's okay if I share this, but she was just
talking about, you know, she has a very obedient nature and
she's willing to do whatever the Lord asked her to do. And that's
a great thing. But here's, here's the tricky thing is what
if you have someone that's unhealthy in leadership over
you, and you're just this really obedient person all the time?
Well, then that gets tricky, doesn't it? Okay, so that's not
what what I'm asking you all to do. So I want to make sure
everybody understands, I don't want us to be obedient to the
point that we are suffering when someone's doing unhealthy things
or saying unhealthy things. Remember, we're submitting to
God who is healthy. And we're talking about submitting to
people that are also healthy. So be in prayer about this
situation with the principle. What I do want to ask you is one
of the things you said, you said, I'm always suspicious.
Yeah, tell me about that. When you say a word like always, that
that's a that's a little
flat. Yeah, maybe maybe I maybe I use the wrong word there. Like
I maybe I, I contend to be suspicious.
Tell me why.
Well, okay. So for the principle, you know, and I
actually had somebody who was like, Oh, watch out for that
principle, right. And so I'm like, so now my guards up,
right. But I think that person, honestly, I think, I think they
were speaking of a place of bitterness. And so I definitely
was like, you know, I'm not gonna make a judgment about this
person until I, I have a chance to get to know them and see what
kind of a person they are. So I would say overall, yeah, a good
principle. And there were some things, of course, I didn't
agree with, but he did try hard. And he did. You know, he did a
good job overall, you know, okay, personally, maybe we
didn't get along. Great, but we we respected each other.
You said something else really important here that I also want
to point out to the ladies. Someone else came to you and
said, Watch out for that guy. Yeah. And that planted seeds
that then caused you to feel suspicious. Now you did. It
sounds like you stayed open, which is really good. But I do
want you all to be aware as well. One of the things now
while you're in heartwork, if you all don't know, we ask you
to press pause on dating, we don't want you to try to date
right now. We don't want you to try to be on the apps right now
we want you to heal right now. We want you to focus on that.
Because you're here because you needed help. Okay. And step one
to getting help to learn how to meet someone
healthy, whether you want to or not, is healing 100%. Okay. And
so, um, as you all are moving through this program, though, we
will talk to you all a lot about, you know, sometimes
people think there's red flags, and there's not. And some
people, they're looking for red flags, they're looking for
something that's wrong. And they don't even they they don't see
green flags and people, even people that have green flags.
Okay, so that's why I wanted to know kind of where's the
suspicion coming from? In this situation, it's coming from, you
know, it might have been other things too, but what this person
said, and so when you do look back this week, at some of the
times that you've been suspicious, I just want to
encourage you, like, ask the Lord, like, what did lead me to
be suspicious there? Was it because I was actually
discerning something that member that the supernatural Saturday
from two weeks ago, the difference between discernment,
intuition and suspicion? If you haven't heard that yet, that
one's going to really help you, Sarah. But we want to we want to
be aware of, okay, what's really going on here? Is there
something that again, I'm seeing that I need to pay attention to?
Or is this a fear based posture in my heart? Because I need
healing somewhere.
Right. And I yeah, and I would say like some couple things that
kind of came to mind, as we're talking, would be like, I
remember my dad was suspicious of a guy, like who worked in the
kids, you know, nursery or whatever, like he was just, and
I don't know, he was just so suspicious of him. And I'm just
thinking, like, he seems like such a nice guy, you know, so I
this was at church, you know, and so I always just, so that
started, I feel like that planted a seed in my heart to
kind of be suspicious of people. And I don't my dad never I never
asked my dad, why are you suspicious of him? Or why? But I
felt like so it was just really weird. So there was that one
from a young age that I felt like kind of that seed got
planted, you know. And then in elementary school, I did a kind
of experience, like a playground staff member who a rec person,
who I would say kind of maybe had an inappropriate emotional
relationship with me. He didn't quite know how like it was just,
I don't quite know, not that he was trying to contact me outside
of, you know, school or anything like that. But it was
just, he had just literally lost his wife to I think his wife was
murdered by her brother. So he had a lot of drama in his life.
But he, you know, like, it was just a weird kind of, and I was
just like, I guess it was just not the healthiest, you know,
and and I don't I still kind of think about and I'm just like, I
don't quite know how to process all of that. But I just feel
like, you know, I don't know. So that was something that as I got
older, I was like, that that kind of wasn't didn't make me
feel like super comfortable, you know, but as a kid, you're
just like, you know,
so what I hear you saying through these stories is just a
kind of underlying suspicion regarding men.
I think so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
And so I would ask the Lord these these two things are
coming up tonight. I would ask him if there's still areas that
you need healing regarding this, you know, even though I don't
think your dad was doing something to harm you. He was
trying to protect you. But maybe his protection was coming from
wounds that were not healed in his life. I don't know. But I
would think, yeah, forgiving your dad for that, even though
again, he's trying to protect you that actually kind of harmed
you in another sense, because you didn't know what was going
on. You were afraid. Right. And then forgiving this guy that was
trying to create this emotional connection with you.
Yeah, where maybe he didn't realize it. He maybe didn't
realize it. But at the same way, either way, you you're, you felt
something inappropriate there. And so forgiving him for that is
going to some of that bond. And I would even encourage you to if
you've even if you've already watched the breaking soul ties,
I would encourage you to do the breaking soul ties prayer
regarding that, that situation there.
Okay, that's a good idea. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
Thank you for sharing. Stephanie, go ahead.
Hi, hi. And I wanted to say, it was nice meeting with Audrey, it
cut off right before I could even tell her that also, but it
was nice being in the breakout with her. Also. So what I shared
in the breakout was, initially, my instant response was, no, I
don't think I have trouble with authority. And then as you were
praying over us, I just got the check in my spirit that yes, I
do. But my issue is with people pleasing, but at my heart,
it's, I'm not doing, I'm not submitting to authority,
I'm doing it to please them,
and I'm doing it to, yeah,
to be enough or to feel that need,
but in my heart, I'm not necessarily submitting to them
or not necessarily feeling comfortable
in the environment with them,
whether it's in, like an example I used was with work,
but I can even think of other situations
where it's just been hard to connect
with whatever leadership that it may be,
whether it's work or sometimes even church
is having that connection to be able to submit
from a heart standpoint,
even though I'm submitting in action
and not only submitting in action,
but going above and beyond.
Yeah, did you ever have any kind of hurt in the past
in either a work setting or church setting?
Yeah.
In both?
Yeah, mm-hmm, so with work,
I've been laid off my last job,
not the one that I'm in now,
but the last job I was laid off.
I had several bosses.
In the five years I was there,
I had three different CEOs
that were based in the main office,
but within our US office,
I had four different presidents,
three different directors.
A lot of leadership change and was the leadership-
And a lot of blaming by leaders as well
along the way as well,
where things were just never enough
and we could never do enough.
Tell me about the church situation.
You don't have to tell me the whole thing,
but I'm just trying to kind of see
if I can sense any common themes here in this
as you're sharing.
With the church, the thing that just came to mind
was growing up with single mom
and we would do a lot for the church.
We would clean the church.
She was church secretary.
We would do a lot for the church as a whole,
but I recall my mom getting a lot of criticism
from the pastor's wife,
just a lot of criticism,
even to the point of the pastor's wife
saying that my mom was trying to get at her husband
and stuff.
So it was a lot of false criticism.
Okay.
All right.
So I think just in general,
the reason that people pleasing is kicking in,
I mean, I even,
I really think this situation with your mom,
you were witnessing all that, okay?
And so kids can't really process fully
what they're even seeing,
especially when it's very adult situations like that.
And so subconsciously we can start to believe the lie
that we like, we have to please,
we have to please, we have to please,
no matter what we do, it's never good enough.
And if we experienced that at home at all as well,
in any way that reinforces it, that reinforces it.
Then you go into a job situation
and then something similar,
even if they're different situations,
they have a similar underlying theme,
then that's reinforcing that more in you.
And so have you ever done a forgiveness prayer sheet yet
for this pastor and his wife criticizing your mom?
I had not even thought about them until now,
to be honest.
That was one of those things
that was the furthest from my mind until now.
Ladies, this is how the heart work works really,
is these situations that were damaging to us
are down in our subconscious
and we're not thinking about them
because a lot of times it gets pushed so down
that we've got other things we're dealing with,
but the Lord is bringing it up tonight.
I 100% believe that.
And so I wanna encourage you this week
to do a forgiveness prayer sheet,
to forgive that pastor and his wife
for criticizing your mom
and even really slandering your mom.
Cause that's what that,
that's what if the things that woman was saying
about your mom were not true, that is slander.
Okay, that's like tearing down someone's reputation
and their character, okay?
And that can be harmful to your mom and also to you.
That probably caused a lot of undue, unwarranted,
whatever word you wanna use,
their stress and all of that.
And so forgiving them for those situations,
I think is gonna be very helpful for you
and how you show up in other circumstances.
But as you're walking forward as well,
when you feel that people pleasing.
stuff kick in. I just want you to kind of pay attention. What's
happening? What's happening when that's kicking in? And what
lies are surfacing? What are you hearing? And let's just start
tracking that these next few weeks. And you can talk about it
come in the group and just say, Hey, this happened today. The
people pleasing showed up. These are the lies I was hearing. And
let's just see what else the Lord might want to help you
unpack regarding that. Okay. Yeah. Good stuff. Thank you for
sharing that. Jovita, go ahead. Hi. Hi. Yes, I was saying in
the group that I don't think I generally have a problem with
submission. I am very okay. I think I kind of more like you
what you shared earlier. Like I like the rules. I don't like to
rebel. I'm not a rebel at all. But for some reason, when it
comes to, you know, finding a partner finding a man, I just
have this inner voice that kind of like pops up every now and
then and just says that, you know, God's not going to give
you what you want. And it's, you know, you're going to be kind of
forced in or like pushed into being with someone that you
don't really like, but you know, maybe it's like, it's like a
thing where you have to learn things. And I don't know where
that's coming from. Because I'm not like that in other areas of
my life, I don't see God that way. But for some reason, there
is that nagging voice that kind of tells me that that I can't
really trust God with my desires. And like, when I have
to end up with someone that I'm not attracted to, and just
things like that. So I kind of wanted to get your perspective
on that.
Well, and I don't mean when I ask you this question, just
because I don't remember. I'm 100% if you've already said this
before last week, but your heritage, okay, let's let's talk
about family line here. Tell me what, what it like, did anybody
have arranged marriages before in your family line?
Yeah, so I'm from India. Well, they I mean, it's pretty common
there. So I have no family that's average managers, my mom
and dad met in church, but they were kind of set up through the
pastor. So it's not technically arranged. It was like, um, yeah,
they met in church and stuff. Yeah. But it is pretty common.
Yeah.
The reason I'm asking that is because you're telling me that
you don't really know where this is coming from, because that's
not even really how you feel. And so it's got me wondering if
this is like a generational thing that you're encountering
here. Sometimes, if you all kind of like, I'm kind of like, gonna
get you to think kind of imaginatively a little bit
here. Okay. Let's imagine, um, my grandma went through
something hard, and she was crying out to God for it. And
about it. Well, that carries down into generation. Okay. And
so sometimes we are facing things that are just us and what
we're experiencing. But sometimes we're, we're
encountering and hearing things from the enemy because of pain
of other people in our family line. And so I'm not saying that
is 100%. But when you were talking, not just because I
wondered, because I mean, I I've coached long enough now, you
know, certain ethnicities and cultures in the world, you know,
they are facing that still today that that's how you do it. It's
an arranged marriage. And, you know, that's, that's their
custom. And so understanding that that can bring certain
fears and worries into people. And then even outside of that,
we can also have our own fears. And again, going back to, well,
if God's going to put you as someone you don't even like,
well, it do we mean, like, does that mean that we actually don't
believe that God is going to be kind to us? Do you know what I'm
saying? And that's why I kind of laid the groundwork I did
tonight, because we want to look at, like, where is that
coming from? And so asking the Lord, you know, when when about
this situation, is this something that's coming from a
generational family line Lord? Or is this something that's in
like, in my subconscious, where I'm struggling to believe that
you're kind and like, ladies, just being honest with God like
that, genuinely, he wants us to be forthcoming and honest and
just have these kind of questions. And it's very healing
and it's very good, and he will respond to you. And so I want to
encourage you just if you see any images, if you have any
memories that come up, phrases that you hear, write all that
stuff down, and and then tell me come back into the group and
tell me how that goes when you kind of talk with him. And for
some of you, you might be like, Well, I don't hear from God like
I want to encourage you, it just takes practice.
God is always speaking.
We just don't always know how he's speaking to us.
He's like each one of us hear God in different ways.
I hear God through media a lot, like music, movies, all kinds of stuff.
Um, I mean, I've, God's spoken to me through like literally license plates
on cars and, uh, uh, addresses on houses.
Like he just taught, like, but I, I've learned to pay attention over time.
Does that make a sense?
What I'm saying, everyone, I just don't want y'all to get into shame or
feeling like you're not good enough.
If you're struggling to hear what he's saying, it just takes time.
Um, but just lean into what you hear or see and write that down.
If there's anything negative, write that down as well and come in and
let me know what that is.
And then we'll, we'll work on that a little bit more.
Uh, Damaris is asking in the chat here.
Do we have to do a sheet for every offense or person?
Like if the person hurt you twice for different situations,
do you do two sheets?
Also, do we have to do the sheets written or can we voice it only?
I will tell you that writing it out.
I'm getting some feedback there, writing it out.
Ladies is going to.
All right.
There we go.
Is going to kind of.
It's kind of.
From my experience.
Typically it's going to bring emotion up in you.
Because it's like, you're actually processing that.
And not that you're not processing it when you're talking,
but there is something about that mental and physical connection when
you're talking about it.
So I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to,
I'm going to talk a little bit more about that.
I'm going to talk a little bit more about the specific things.
Each one individually.
All right.
Hopefully that makes sense.
Okay. So let's see here.
Alicia more.
There you go.
Hi.
A lot like Stephanie.
I was thinking, no, I don't have an issue with submission. I.
My yes comes easy when God asked me to do things.
So when it comes to God, my submission is.
Is on the table.
But then as you were praying, it came to me.
So I'm in the air force. And when I first joined the air force.
I was like, I'm not going to say yes, ma'am.
I've got 19 years of my life.
I'm not going to say that.
And who are you to tell me?
To say that, you know, and so.
And I was like,
I haven't thought about that in a long time because now it comes easy.
So, but I do have, and going through this course,
the lights have come up that.
And I've been really digging deep into those.
Lies.
And putting them before Jesus, before his feet.
And working to surrender him.
I recently on social media, I saw where a pastor was like, you,
you put it to see to Jesus, but then you,
you leave a hand there and step away. Like,
are you really releasing it to him? Are you really releasing it?
Like, are you really releasing it to him?
Because he's so close to you.
You know, but you still have a hand on it. So.
I'm really trying to dig deep into that,
but I'm very, very appreciative of this, of this course.
Well, I love, I love the direction. You're also going here.
Just that, you know, and this is ladies,
this is why it's so important when I just encourage y'all just to stay
with the Lord.
I know we don't like to call ourselves or label ourselves,
but the reality is sometimes we do struggle with things or it's down,
like I said, in the recess. So I love that this came up.
I would ask the Lord out of all the things and memories that he brought
up, like ask him why he brought that one up, you know,
and what is he trying to show you and highlight to you through that?
And then on the lies that you're struggling with,
that men can't provide or men can't keep you safe.
Have you been in situations before where.
A man didn't provide for you or keep you safe.
Is that where that's coming from?
Yes. Yeah.
More than once or one time.
I was my, I was at my dad's house and then there was a situation.
In that situation when I came to him scared trying to explain the situation I basically wasn't pleased.
Okay.
Even though the evidence was there in his living room.
So, you know, so I wasn't believed then.
I was in a long relationship with someone where I wasn't good enough.
Yeah.
Going out and so I wasn't enough.
And so and honestly I haven't had a consistent relationship since that one.
And that was many years ago.
Okay.
Have you already done forgiveness such for forgiveness prayer sheets on either one of these things that you just mentioned.
The long term relationship I have.
A couple years ago God actually middle of nowhere just said, like, I just felt the weight lift and he just gave me the blessing of forgiving him and he's like okay now you're going to call him.
And I was like, Okay. And so I called him, and actually and he's like brush it off and I was like, No, and now we have a totally different relationship now so that was very very so I know what the power of forgiveness can do.
Yeah, so this situation I would just want to say I'm sorry that your dad didn't believe you.
And I feel like it's always really important to validate you all, you know, and especially when you're sharing with these vulnerable stories.
I know a lot of coaching sessions I'm going to encourage you all to forgive people but that truly is at the core of a lot of our stuff right we've got to forgive, we can move forward, but also asking the Lord in that process Alicia.
Is there any other situations where you, you didn't feel provided for or kept safe, even, even if it was an elementary school before that situation happened with your dad, just in not that anything else happened but just making sure that as you're processing this
stuff like Lord is there anything else that's connected to these situations in my spirit that I need revealed for healing. And so just asking him that and, again, some stuff might come up right away and other stuff might not come up for weeks, but we just trust the process ladies.
But this was this was really good and the Yes, ma'am. And yes, sir. I totally get that. It's interesting. People ask me a lot why I call my husband Pastor Brian I'm like, well, he is Pastor Brian.
But here's the thing. I feel like it's a, it's a me conveying honor and respect for his position in the church, even though he's my husband, because if I'm walking around just calling him Brian all the time now I do call him babe sometimes and, and in the beginning when I first we were first, you know, married he's like I don't want you to call me that in front of people I'm like, why I'm totally calling you that no, we it was like I didn't just force that on him but that's something we did have to talk through because he wasn't sure.
If that made him look, you know, less as a pastor I was like, people need to see that we have a good relationship. So, in that though, there's this level of for me, like I honor him and I respect him as the pastor of our church and he is my pastor.
You know, and, and so I it gives me an opportunity to share with people why I do that if they ask me, but I can tell you that if I didn't respect someone, I would have a harder time doing that.
Yeah. And so that's what I always want to look at, like, if we have a hard time, you know, honoring someone in those ways, where's that coming from in us, you know, and so let us know how that goes this week as you're looking at this stuff with the Lord and just see what else he wants to show you.
Thank you. Great job on sharing, by the way.
It's amazing. Yeah, you're welcome.
Now I see Stephanie is still is that the same Stephanie, I just want that had your hand up that already shared. I didn't know if your hand is just still up maybe.
Sorry.
I just didn't want to.
It's totally fine. Thank you so much. All right, Sarah. Is it Waddell or waddle I don't know how to say it. You got it right the first time most people don't want to know.
All right.
So I think my response is similar to a lot of people that have shared tonight but I kind of had to kind of revelations during it, I guess, or realizations that.
I'm not, I have no problem with submission. I, you know, I don't put up a fight for for much
of anything unless I feel really strongly about it, but I think somebody said it well earlier of
it's more from a people-pleasing standpoint than it is actually submitting sometimes. So
even though I might be submitting on the exterior, on the surface, I think I'm probably not
on the inside. So that was my first response, but then as we were talking in our group,
Rebecca said something that made me realize that I think I actually submit better to people than I
do to God, which was something I had not thought about at all before. Okay, so what caused, like,
is there an area where you feel like you have a harder time submitting to God? Is it just
relationship or is it other areas in your life as well? That's a good question. I don't know,
I may have to think more about it, but the initial thought was definitely relationships and just
believing that he, kind of like what Jovita was saying, and just believing that he does have a
plan and not trying to take it into my own hands. So every time I feel like he's called me to leave
it in his hands, I've ended up taking charge and it has not worked out any time I've done that,
but I keep doing it for some reason. So in the processing and asking God to show you,
you know, do I have a hard time submitting in every area or is it certain areas, Lord? Okay,
that's going to be one of your questions this week, but I also want you to think back and process
these take charge moments with him where you just said, like, sometimes you'll tell him, you know,
you trust him, but then you're going in and taking charge. I want you to process with that,
with him specifically asking him, what lies was I believing and hearing when I stepped in to take
charge? Okay. Yeah. And, and if there's any similarities in those situations, kind of keep
an eye out for those. And anytime y'all can always come into the group and post about it and say,
this is what's coming up. And like, you can say, I don't know where to go from here,
or you can say, this is what else God is showing me. But that typically, then I can coach you a
little bit more, but I really, I don't want to overshare cause I want God to really show you
what it is. And then we can unpack it more from there. Like sometimes I feel like there's something
I got to release over you all, but this one, I feel is important for you to really be in a
discovery mode with the Lord, especially because of the struggles to submit more to him.
Cause I could just go tell you to do something and you'll do it. Okay. Because of like literally
what you just told me. Yeah. But I believe God wants to help repair that, that connection with
him, that you can trust him, that you can submit even by doing it like in this discovery and just
talking to him this week. And when we do that, there is this trust that begins to build with
the Lord. And then you can come back and kind of share. And like I said, we'll unpack it more from
there, but I think ladies, I'm always going to direct you all to the Lord first. That's going
to be my go-to for you all because you know, all people can make mistakes, right? So we should
always want to hear what is God saying? What is he showing me? And asking him really good
questions. So I look forward to hearing kind of what you, what he reveals to you. And again,
in those take charge moments, Lord, you know, what lies was I hearing when I stepped in to take charge
and also looking at in our hearts, did we believe that we could do God's job better than he could?
That's what I had to admit to myself. Cause I did, I didn't mean to, but I, I'm deep down. I,
I thought I could handle it better than him, you know, essentially. So
great share. Thank you so much. Thank you. You're welcome. Maureen, go ahead.
Hi. Can you hear me? Okay. I can. Yeah. Okay. I shared that. I don't generally have
a problem submitting. But I am really cautious. So I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a control freak.
I feel like I like to feel like I'm in control. However, and I've never had like a Christian
relationship. All my previous relationships have been secular and prior to my walk.
with Jesus. So I think the reason I'm cautious is because I've seen firsthand and also heard
firsthand of people whose husbands would use the submission scripture as kind of a weapon to
control their wives or say, well, your body is mine. The Bible says, you know, you have to,
you know, do these things because you have to submit. And I just find that kind of scary. So
I shared that even before I joined this program, I was talking to somebody that I had met on an app
and we had kind of gotten into it about this particular scripture.
And I felt like I gave him enough chances to try to explain it. I was like, maybe he just doesn't
know how to explain it properly. Let me give him another chance, give him the benefit of the doubt
that he doesn't actually mean what he sounds like he's saying. And he made it sound very much like,
because the way that I interpret the scripture, the way that I told him, I interpret the scripture
is, you know, a wife should submit to her husband and she does so because she trusts his leadership
because he's called to love her as Christ loves the church. If he's doing that, like,
why would she not submit and trust his leadership? You know? But he said, no, the Bible calls a wife
to submit her husband, even if he's not loving her well. And I'm like, I mean, yeah, but like,
if he's abusing her, is she supposed to submit anyway? And he was just like, well,
at the end of the day, she needs to submit her husband. I don't know. It was just a really like
red flag flying all over the place type of conversation. And I was just like,
I feel like you want someone that you can control. And so that kind of put me on edge. And so
while I have no problem submitting, I will say that this is a scripture that I would
definitely want to revisit with someone I do eventually talk to, because I want to make sure
we're aligned. The other part that got me thinking was, I mentioned that I've only,
I've never had a Christian relationship. I don't know what Christian dating is like,
it's been more than a decade since my last relationship, but I had always been in the
position of like, this is going to date me. But like, if the person I was dating was
finishing up school, or somehow I was in the position to be the provider and kind of
financially support the relationship in certain ways, I had to ask myself, as we were talking,
would I have a problem submitting if I found myself in the same situation? Like, let's just say
if I was sort of providing, I mean, I hope that's not the case.
So are you saying, let me clarify something. Are you saying that if you were to provide for a man
while they were finishing school or working on school, that you might have a hard time
submitting to them because they're in school and you're providing? Is that what you're saying?
No, no. That was only my, that was my only example. So like, when I was providing,
I had no problem providing at the time, because I understood they were in school.
The truth of the matter is that at least two people that I was the provider for,
they kind of screwed me over. So it makes me more cautious. And like, I always wonder like, okay,
if I were to get into a relationship now that I'm older, I kind of know what I want.
And let's just say I wind up dating someone where I am still sort of providing.
Would I, at this age, have a problem being super submissive if I'm the one providing?
Yeah. Okay.
And I feel like that's an interesting question. And I, you know what?
I don't know what the answer is. I feel like I'd have to, I'd have to.
I'm going to help you. I'm going to help you here.
Okay.
I'm going to give you a couple of things that I think are going to be super
important for you in this process. A, keep staying in community, keep doing your heart work.
Keep doing your heart work. And then as you finish your heart work,
if you stay in the community, you're going to go into the next phase and you're going to get a
whole lot of coaching on healthy levels of relationship and appropriate conversations
and initial dating discovery. Okay. I'm not going to go into that tonight, but I want you to know
that some of the things you're talking about are things we address in this program. And we give you
solid.
coaching and direction on. I think the first thing is that,
you know, in the situations where you heard friends being
with husbands that were, you know, lording submit over them,
if you will, including regarding having intimacy, and that, hey,
your body belongs to me kind of stuff. You know, unfortunately,
you know, that's something that you experienced that you saw
your friends going through. What I want you to know is that isn't
the case for everyone. And there's a lot of very healthy
dynamics and relationships, where, you know, even I'll give
you an example, even out in my own home, like sometimes life
just happens. And you might make a plan to be together and
somebody doesn't feel well, or somebody's recovering from
surgery. And like, you don't just say all your body's mine.
No, you love that person. And you want to respect them, right.
But again, that's people coming from a healthy place are going
to show up differently. Okay. Now, the thing for you, because
we don't know what else was going on in that those
relationships. So we can't unpack those too much, right?
Because that's somebody else's life. But what I can say is, for
you to really ask the Lord, you know, where do you need healing
so that those situations that were like, secondhand, aren't
holding you back from moving forward? You know, I'm saying,
so you personally saying, like, forgiving those men for doing
that to their wives, maybe even potentially forgiving your
friends for staying in situations like that, if that's
where you're at. But also asking the Lord, like, Lord, what is
where did I partner with a lie here? To believe that all men
would do that? Or even a lot of men, and that I might end up in
a similar situation? Good night, Karen. Yes, I do want to say to
those that might need to sign off, I am going to go I'm going
to finish. I'm going to let Ruth share D and Emily and then I'll
close off. So we are going to go a little long. But they've had
their hand up for a while. So I want to make sure I get to them.
So Maureen, just really spending time on on that with the Lord,
and healing in that area for yourself will also have ripple
effects of healing on some of this other stuff you're talking
about. And these men that screwed you over, and I'm not
doing quotes, because I don't believe you, but that's how you
said it. I want you to also forgive them. So forgive sheets
out for them process that. And here's the last thing I'm going
to give you as you're at all of you. This is for everyone. As
you're in this program, and you're healing, you're growing.
You are not the same person that you were before. Yeah. So
hopefully, because let me let me say this, I like to use my own
life, because then it doesn't feel like I'm pointing fingers
at you all are that sounds judgy. When I was with my
spiritual daughter's dad, um, I paid for a lot of our stuff.
Even when he was losing his car and losing his house, because he
was making really dumb decisions. Genuinely, like
sincerely, bad decisions. And he was getting stuff repoed and
like lights can turn like I was carrying the load there. Well,
yeah, in a sense, you know, back then, I felt that way. He
screwed me over. He did. He did. He treated me really bad. And he
didn't even appreciate things I did for him. But when I had that
heart posture, that didn't didn't do me very, very good.
Hey, I had to let that go and forgive him and also own my side
of the street. Guess what? People can't take what we don't
give them. So I needed more boundaries. Okay, and so I had
to own, okay, Lord, show me where I need to heal and grow
and become healthier, so that I don't get myself in a similar
situation again. Right. And so that's me taking ownership. And
then I'm not a victim anymore. I'm an overcomer and someone
who's thriving because I'm healing and I'm moving forward.
And I'm not living that way anymore. Makes sense. Yeah,
awesome. So process that stuff with the Lord and then come in
and tell me about it. Let's talk about it a little bit more as
far as the things that you know, processing forgiving those men
that said and did those things to their wives, these men that
you know, took advantage of you because it sounds like they did
to some degree and and I want you to process that.
And let's see what else might bubble to the surface
as you process those situations
and step into more freedom for sure.
Yeah, a lot of good stuff ahead for you.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Ruth, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany.
Hi, ladies.
Thank you.
And I was just writing some of what you said
because it was like, as you were talking to,
you know, some of the other ladies
that was really speaking to me too directly.
And I had to make notes for myself
to go back and look at later.
What I shared in my group was primarily that,
at first when you asked the question,
I think like several ladies,
my knee jerk response was,
oh, I can struggle with submission.
It was kind of like a just, you know,
instinctive response.
And I was like, wait a minute,
like let's unpack that a little bit
because as in my group and, oh crap,
I'm trying to get better with names.
I'm trying to remember who I was in a group with.
It wasn't Karen.
I'm trying to remember who I was in the group with.
But she shared some amazing insights
that she shared with me
and that kind of Holy Spirit used that,
that when I was in my marriage,
because the divorce was finalized in October of last year,
that I really struggled with that.
And I think part of it was because of the verbal abuse,
you know, the emotional abuse was emotionally unavailable,
that I felt that I needed to protect myself.
And I've noticed that I've struggled
even after the marriage,
even in the church I've been going to
I think it's been since March or April of last year
here in Idaho.
I, granted the pastor there, you know,
people have different personalities.
His personality is generally more controlling
but that really, I really pushed up against that.
Like I found that abrasive.
And I think I would have felt that way
if it hadn't been because of the marriage I was coming from
and being in that position
where it was very hard to submit to that,
especially if you don't feel safe,
if you feel like you constantly have to protect yourself.
It's very hard in that situation.
Even when you would say certain things that were true,
and this is referring to my ex-husband,
like if he was giving me like what someone else
would consider constructive criticism at times,
just because it was coming in that spirit of like,
I don't feel safe with you
or the abuse of being constantly put down.
It was very difficult to,
oh, Tamika, thank you so much.
Tamika shared the insight of my group.
It was very difficult to receive that.
Even when there were times where this was just genuine,
you know, like constructive criticism
without strings attached.
Cause it wasn't all bad, it wasn't horrible,
but there were times when you would still get,
you know, the Holy Spirit is using somebody,
even if the person is not healed,
to tell you something that you need to listen to
and you need to be humble.
That was the word.
You receive that.
And so struggling with that.
And even now at churches,
but I've noticed that ever since going through the marriage
and getting out of that,
the separation and the divorce,
that I just constantly have my guard up, like always.
So like every time if someone comes in,
and it's both with men and women, which confused me.
Cause I would think it was only with people
in positions of authority,
but it's like, you have to look out for yourself
so you don't get hurt.
And so, you know, you don't let your guard down.
Cause I noticed that two things
that I thought were wrong with me.
One was that I'm too trusting.
In fact, that's actually something my family,
my family has really criticized me about.
And not only the bad people,
my mom would tell me that I'm too,
I just, I let people down.
I just pour my heart out instead of being discerning.
And then a second thing is that I'm very,
so too trusted.
And then also being like passive,
like, I don't even know what is passive,
but like where, oh, I don't want to rock the boat.
I think that's supposed to be people pleasing.
We kind of, what we spoke about.
So again, caring and yeah,
sometimes caring too much.
It's like, you can only help certain people so much.
Like even with my ex-husband,
the things I would do for him,
for his family, for my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law,
I don't know if it was a way of trying to earn love
or earn trust because I didn't believe that
or respect that about myself.
I don't know.
But anyway, so those were the things that were,
now I feel like I've flipped the chart
and I'm on the whole other extreme
where it's now suspicion, guard always up
because I've been too, quote unquote, dumb
to trust into this.
So now I have to be like,
I can't even trust that heart that God gave me
of showing kindness and mercy to others.
So I'm like, well,
what if I'm just falling into whole patterns?
And then there's just somebody there
on the other end who's very cunning.
And like my ex-husband wasn't who knows how to exploit
what I would in the past give without even thinking
with no ulterior motives,
but somebody who knows how to exploit people
who are passive and who are kind
and who don't know what their boundaries are.
So now I'm like on this whole other end of like, okay,
I always have to have my guard up
because what if I'm not seeing what I should be seeing?
Yeah, and here's a couple of things.
I wrote down the word,
cause you said,
It went from one extreme to the other, okay?
So that's kind of highlighted to me.
So I wrote the word balance.
And so I wanna encourage you to ask the Lord to like pray
and ask him to help bring you back into balance.
Cause basically you just did an over correct, okay?
So I don't want you to shame yourself for that.
Even though I hear what your parents are saying and family,
they just want you to be careful, okay?
But where you just really pray
and ask him to bring you back into that place of, you know,
wisdom and hearing what the Holy Spirit's saying.
But also the other thing that I think is really important
to mention here is that community is gonna be
really important for you, this community in particular.
Because as you're going, you can come in
and tell us situations that you're navigating.
It doesn't have to always be romantic.
And you can say, is this healthy the way I'm looking
at this situation with this person?
Or am I being suspicious?
Like you can literally ask us those kinds of things
and we can help you process that.
And not even just, you know, we do ask in the heart work
that just the coaches respond in those kinds of ways, okay?
But as you all go further into the community,
we believe in sisters like helping each other.
And, you know, some people get triggered
and they respond out of their trigger, that still happens.
But a lot of people, you know, they do give very solid,
like, hey, yeah, no, just be careful in that situation
or, you know, whatnot.
But the last thing I'll say is,
I used to be very similar, Ruth.
And I still sometimes will even tell my husband, Brian,
like, or talk to the Lord, but just the Lord and Brian,
those are my two go-tos a lot of the time.
But I'm feeling kind of suspicious here,
but I also am discerning this stuff.
So I just wanna voice this.
This is, you know, this is what I was telling my husband.
I'm praying about this with the Lord
because I don't want the wounds of the past
to cause me to be suspicious towards.
There tends to be a certain type of female,
people that are very opinionated.
And like, I feel that, like that resistance
coming from them in the spirit,
where I tend to have a really tough time with them.
And so I put this person's name
on my Jesus Cares board, you all.
It just came to my mind.
I didn't even think of this until just now,
because I kept, there's been this situation
with this woman here at the church.
And I'm like, Lord, like, why am I facing this again
in another church and another, you know,
with another woman that like,
I'm just trying to do what you're calling me to do here.
And I'm just feeling this constant friction
and she's trying to control me.
And the Lord, the one day was like,
you should put that on your Jesus Cares board.
The Lord's whispering that to me.
Oh, good idea, Lord.
And so I did, I put her up on my Jesus,
I put her name up on there, Lord.
And I wrote a word under that.
That's what I wanted him to help me with, right?
And you all, this last experience I had with her
went pretty good.
It went pretty good for the first time.
And so I'm seeing the Lord work in there.
And so I wanna encourage you, Ruth,
like sometimes you are gonna feel similar things
as what you've been through, okay?
And God is going to give you discernment
that that is similar.
And then other times you're gonna have to really
just work on and practice walking in discernment
and intuition and not suspicion.
And that discernment is a gift that we can grow in.
You know, it's one of the gifts of the spirit, okay?
And so understand that we're not all gonna
instantly have discernment.
And some people are literally given anointings
of discernment.
So some people actually just carry that.
Other, we all have to grow in it,
but like some people just, it's more,
like it's more of their natural anointing
and the flow of the gifting that is dominant in them.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
So I just want,
even though I understand what your family's saying,
I just know just from things you've shared in the past,
you really try to do things like to that perfection level.
And I don't want something they're saying
that they're trying to help you,
but I don't want you to feel that you have,
like you're messing up if you're not seeing something
exactly like how they see it or as quick.
Because you are developing a new muscle, okay?
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
The last thing I just wanted to add before I yield
was just, okay, I'm praying.
for my dad. I know we've prayed before, but he's the one with
that. Vincent is the one that had to bring because he's in his
second hospital readmission right now and he had some
complications. Just praying for complete healing for him.
I will, Vincent, you said, right? That's the right. Okay,
we will pray for him before we hop off tonight. Okay. All
right. Thank you. Dee, go ahead.
Hello. Okay. Um, I actually, I actually was wondering if we
could, um, well, I just wanted to speak it out because it might
be nothing, but I'd love to get your thoughts on this, uh, on
this. So when similar to everybody else, um, you know,
well, I say everybody else, most of us that were like there,
nothing to be no issues with submission. I was one of them.
And then as Stephanie was talking, it occurred to me that
I have a, I don't know if I want to call it an issue, but I have
to work for myself. I have to. And so again, this might not be
anything, but I know that you are so good at, you know, seeing
deeply. And so I thought I'd just present it and see if
there's anything, um, that comes from it. I have to work for
myself. I have been, you know, we spoke a couple of weeks ago
and since I was, well, I started my first business under 10
because I realized, and that's a quote unquote, that I had to
look after myself. I had to, you know, me, myself and I kind of
thing. Um, and I have occasionally tried to work for
others and occasions when I was raising my daughter, but even
then I always had my own business going on. Like I had to,
and, uh, there were some occasions where there were just
terrible people that I worked for, you know, supervisors or
whatever, you know, they weren't all bad situations, but let's
just say, I have to work for myself. I just have to, I have
to. And that's what, so what does that fulfill in you? Tell
me what that, like, when you're saying I have to, is it just a
self protection? Like I have to be the one to take care of
myself. Or is it something that you don't feel fulfilled if
you're not doing that? Or is it both?
I think, I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of the first. And the
reason I say I have to more that the times that I have
actually tried to work for others. Um, and maybe I'll give
you a bit of an example. When I was, um, you know, a transition
to become an attorney and run my own law firm was my whole
thing. I've always been an entrepreneur. So literally I was
always going to run my own law firm. Um, but when things
happened in the pandemic during that time, I wasn't able to just
take the bar because things were delayed. And so that messed up
my plans. And that was actually just before I joined M12M and
things kind of went a bit crazy. But the point is, is that, um,
I had to, because I didn't get to take the bar and pass it,
which was in my grand plan. I, um, there was an ability, there
was a possibility to work still under licensure, but under a
supervisor at a law firm. And I thought, my goodness, God's done
it again. You know, he's found a way for me. And of course I took
it because I was able to practice earlier without having
passed the bar, but I had to be under supervisor, you know,
supervisor. And in that situation, that's just like a
case in point because it didn't end up well, not that, um, he
was just very, it turned out, it turned out that he, I mean, he
hired me because of my credentials, um, because I'm an
entrepreneur and I was able to essentially start up the
business law division in a sense of what he was doing. So we had
a vision that was similar. He worked on estate planning and
that was my other vision. And so we were essentially, I wasn't a
partner. I was a supervisor, I was being supervised, but
essentially with my credentials of my history of entrepreneurship
many decades, I was able to technically man that area and it
was good for him because he could expand. But I also found
out that he had a bit of an insidious kind of plan, things
that he threw out there. I've never been one for, I don't want
this to come across wrong. I've never had racial issues and
things like that. It's just not my norm. You know, I see people
are people and all of that. But I think it's the first time that
I've had it literally thrown in my face. He literally said,
it's perfect. You're, you know, you're, I mean, I'm not
African-American, but he said, you're African-American, you're
a woman. It was like, you tickle these things and it makes me
look good. Essentially, he said it. And it was like, whoa, you
know, like, that was horrible. But I mean, again, I mean, I've
got thick skin, I'm very soft inside, but you know, I was
like, okay, whatever. It kind of went in my, in one ear and out
the other, because I attend to similarly to the last caller,
Ruth, so much in common in a sense of too kind, too nice, all
of that stuff to the point where, you know, I've been
working on boundaries for a while. But anyway, that was one
of the things, but it ended up where he
He was just very mean-spirited, I suppose,
the way he would, he, on the outside,
he's very friendly and everyone loves him,
but, you know, very unkind behind the scenes
and he'd end up shouting and saying things.
And this was all about, but, you know,
just being very rude and just in a way
that I just didn't appreciate.
And it kind of, what's the word?
It kind of proved my point internally
that this is why I just cannot work for anyone,
if that makes sense.
I had to, and I say had to because I didn't have to,
of course not, but it helped serve my purpose
of being able to practice.
And then there's another attorney
that I've been so blessed with opportunities
before I was even able to practice on my own.
Another law firm that I worked for, I'll be quick,
but this was one that really hit me hard
because I have boundaries when it comes to my life.
You know, I work during the day and I have certain hours,
but when it comes to Friday evening,
when it comes to Sabbath, I'm not working
and I'm not working till Monday.
That's just been me for a long time with all my businesses.
And I was hired and of course I'm the hire,
I'm the one being hired and I'm a junior
and I'm being trained in this particular area of law.
And this director, I'm never really big,
this big stakes law firm, but he hired me.
We spoke, he hired me, loved me, hired me.
When it came to the person that I was under,
who was his partner, it was her law practice.
She essentially, you know, in the law,
well, let's be quick, in the legal industry,
it's typically known that you're working 24 seven.
That's what's typical out there.
Like, you know, if you have your phone on,
that's just not me, I just don't do that.
I just don't do that.
And I did it respectfully.
I told him, you know, before he even hired me,
these are things, you know, is that gonna be a problem?
I'm not gonna be like on call, you know,
these are the hours that I work.
And it wasn't rude, it was a conversation.
When it came to it, we had an emergency situation
come through on a Friday night.
And again, different hours, I'm in Hawaii
and then it's a California law firm.
And so hours, you know, three hours ahead, behind, whatever,
never a problem for me, I'm always there.
You know, if it's five in the morning, 4 a.m. here,
I'm ready, seven o'clock, California time, whatever.
Anyway, the point is, is that there was a client
that came in, it was an emergency,
and she'd sent something, an instruction for me to do,
but I'd already signed off.
And that was the time that everybody knew.
I didn't get it till Monday.
And so I logged in, I was like, oh, you know,
thinking it was okay because everyone knew.
And so we had a conversation.
And he wasn't angry with me, but he basically, I said,
well, he said, is there any way
that you could work on Saturday?
And I said, no, because, you know,
I did mention it to you, you know, on Friday,
I basically have Sabbath.
He goes, well, how about Sunday?
I said, well, at the time I was literally figuring it out.
Like, is Sabbath, is it supposed to be, you know,
this day, that day?
I know it's not about being legalistic and religious,
but at the time I was still figuring out from God,
literally, like, do I do the whole weekend?
I just don't want to, because Sunday's typically for,
you know, anyway, the point is, I said to him, no,
because, you know, I really would like to have my Sundays.
And he basically said something that was like,
oh, well, I grew up Baptist and I grew up in the church
and I was in the church every single, you know, every day.
And I grew up under this and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
But he basically insulted me saying that this person,
this person just wants to have time off whenever she wants.
And it was just really rude.
It wasn't like, first off, I thought he was joking,
but the point is he was, it became nasty and very rude.
And it was kind of like belittling my,
on one hand he's saying he knows God,
and on the other hand he's saying
that you do what I say, basically.
And I just won't, I won't bow down to any man for,
you know, God first, that's just me.
So, but the thing is, I think something like that
is another example of, oh, there you go.
And I eventually left because it got worse and worse.
They didn't pay me and I had to chase the money,
you know, just things like that.
And, but that was a sticking point for him.
He really didn't like that.
That really got him, it got under his skin
when I mentioned that it was more me, you know,
wanting to, you know, wanting to observe the Sabbath.
I was very honest about it.
And anyway, the point is, is that that literally made me,
well, not made me, it was just another example.
I eventually passed, you know,
literally a couple of months later
and I left immediately and started my firm.
I have a question, I have a question for you.
Sorry to interrupt.
I'm babbling a bit.
No, this is okay.
So my question is this,
have you had similar experiences in dating?
Where I am-
Where you start dating someone and they insult you
or something happens and you just,
you can't be with that person.
Yes, but that's, that's extreme though.
You know, like when they've become verbally abusive
or done something.
Okay.
I would say it's warranted.
Yeah.
I would say at least.
I just wanted to make sure this wasn't showing up
in other areas is what I'm, why I'm asking.
Yeah.
You know, here's the thing.
Some people are just called to be entrepreneurs
and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
But to say that we can never work for someone else, I-
would encourage you to not partner with that.
Because unfortunately, yeah,
you have these two negative experiences,
but that isn't the case with everyone.
You're not gonna always experience that with everyone.
But, you know, now that I work,
I mean, I work for Jackie, but I also like,
I mean, my hours are like kind of flexible.
Like I can literally some days go sit by the pool
and do my job, not on a coaching day,
but like other days I could sit out by a pool and do my job.
Well, so I don't know if I wanna work for a corporation
and be in an eight to five anymore.
Does that mean that I'm saying I have to always work
for myself or work in a remote job?
No, but I like to.
I think there's a difference there.
And so just remember that when you're saying things
that you're not partnering with,
I can't ever trust anybody,
therefore I can't work for them
because people are always out to do, you know,
insidious things or put me down or not honor my boundaries.
Again, it's when we make, and not that you are,
but I'm just, for everyone's sake,
I just want everyone to hear this.
We wanna be careful about generalities.
That's the point I'm making.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
I was just gonna say, it's not that those two are the one,
you know, that those two things are the only things alone.
I'm not, it's not that.
It's been a sprinkle of things, okay?
And so they were just the most recent examples
that have just made it so.
And then with other things that happened.
So I hear you.
I mean, and it's not like I wouldn't volunteer on things.
I can be led, you know?
I'm a good team player, even though I'm very alpha.
I am actually that person that can actually be told
what to do with respect.
It's about, you know, just the dynamics.
Yeah, and here's, so I wanna point something out to you.
So I didn't necessarily mean
that these are the only two situations you've ever been.
But something just kicked in for you
to make sure that we knew
that there were other situations you had been through.
So I wanna make sure that you're,
there's not a fear of people thinking bad of you.
Like if you're just who you are, kicking in there.
You know, like even one of the things I know recently
that you were really working on
was going and having fun
and just building that into your life.
So just make sure that, you know,
there's not this thing that kicks in
that if you actually, you know,
do what God is calling you to do
and living in your purpose that you're,
I guess what I'm hearing is like,
that you're not kicking into having
to prove yourself to people, okay?
And so, yeah, that's kind of what's standing out to me
for you tonight.
Just make sure that that's not kicking in.
Cause I didn't necessarily think bad
even if that there were more situations
or these were the only two.
I just wanted you to see that maybe,
maybe this is because you actually just have
a real anointing and gifting to be an entrepreneur.
But we wanna make sure that we're not allowing God
or the enemy to lead us into partnering with generalities
about people or ourselves.
Does that make sense?
I appreciate that.
And that's why I wanted to say something
cause I thought there might be something there
that that's happening.
And is it, so thanks for helping with that.
I appreciate it.
You're welcome.
Emily, go ahead.
Initially when you had talked or posed the question,
my first reaction was I have control issues.
And so that's always been,
and I don't wanna say always been,
but that has been a struggle for me
because I want it the way that I want it.
I do struggle with OCD behavior and stuff like that.
But as it just sort of dawned on me
as people were talking, as other women were talking,
that I think part of what sort of is partnering
or underlying that is my tit for tat mentality
of if I do this, then you're expected to do that.
Where does that most for you?
Unfortunately, a lot of places.
Okay.
Probably only the place that it doesn't necessarily show up
is work, but that I think has a lot to do with the fact
that I'm a paralegal and not an attorney.
So the expectation is, is that I do the bottom work
that feeds to the attorney work.
But if we're talking about personal relationships.
Oops.
I've struggled with that at a great level.
Was it like that when you were younger?
Oh my gosh, yes.
Do you have siblings?
Yes, I have one younger sister.
Okay, so tell me how it showed up
this tit for tat mentality when you were younger.
I think, I mean, the biggest thing is
that's what was demonstrated
by and with my parents,
in my relationship with my parents
and then their relationship with one another.
Okay, so it's a learned behavior.
That's what I hear you saying.
Yes, I think.
And then it just has, as I've gotten older
and become an adult, I've noticed that it
has really solidified, especially when I notice
my obsessive compulsive behaviors trying to take over.
Yeah, so tell me about that too,
because do y'all know that OCD
tends to be from fragmentation
and it's a way that we will try to regain control
on some level because our life feels out of control.
So when did the OCD kick in for you?
Has this been for everything or?
Probably, for the most part,
I started to notice the tendencies
when I was in middle school and high school,
but I've also recently been officially diagnosed with ADHD.
And so now that, I don't wanna say that's been taken care of
but now that I'm resolving some of those behaviors,
the OCD is getting worse.
Okay.
So, I'm seeking additional mental health therapy
to deal with all of those things.
When you were in middle school,
because that's when it started showing up first,
was there anything in particular
that was extra stressful than normal?
To be honest, I don't remember a lot of my childhood.
It's okay.
Well, I can't answer that honestly
because I couldn't tell you.
Nothing initially pops out to me.
And that's all right.
It's totally fine.
And I want you to know that that's actually really normal
when we go through situations that are traumatic.
On any level, sometimes we don't remember them, okay?
And so I wanna encourage you just to ask the Lord, okay?
Ask the Lord about this OCD behavior
when it started in middle school
to reveal to you anything that you need to know
so that you can heal and move forward
and just see what he brings up.
And we don't want you to get any shovels out
and try to dig and figure it out,
but just let him show you what he brings up.
But just let him show you, trust his timing.
And then have you forgiven your parents
specifically for this tit for tat behavior?
Yes, with my dad.
That's a work in progress with my mom.
But the way that they were towards each other
in front of you,
have you ever specifically forgiven them for being out?
I don't think so, no.
Yeah, I think part of what can happen,
and I'm not saying I know for sure
that this is what's happened with you,
but I'm just wanna put this out there
for you to be thinking about it.
Sometimes when our parents are a certain way
and we don't like it and we judge them for it,
whether we mean to or not, especially as kids,
I don't think we even mean to,
but we don't know how to process it.
What can happen when we judge them
is we become bitter then,
and sometimes we end up doing those same behaviors
because we've never forgiven them
and we've actually partnered with lies and bitterness
and all that stuff's in there.
And so I'm not saying it will just automatically cause,
you do not struggle with that, okay?
But I am saying that if you forgive your parents
for mistreating each other like that in front of you,
and I'm not even saying you need to go to them
and say anything to them.
Right now, it's just processing
on the forgiveness prayer sheet
and forgiving yourself for doing it as well.
And being specific, like forgiving yourself
for a time in particular, like,
Lord, what are the times I really need to process
forgiving myself for having this tit for tat mentality
and holding.
I'm not going to lie.
I mean,
I specifically said the tit for tat because I think that's what it
drills down to.
Yeah.
I specifically said the tit for tat because I think that's what it
drills down to.
But just over walk overwhelmingly, like I treat my relationships.
In a very transaction.
Setting and so.
Just as a general rule.
And so I would really love to be able to break free from that.
Yeah.
Safety. It's very like.
We just have something that we give each other and that's it.
And sometimes people also, you know,
certain personalities and characteristics about people,
they might struggle socially.
And so I think it's important to just really think about,
you know,
what are some of the things that you're thinking about and how do you
help each other.
And I think when we talk about relationships,
I think a lot of times we just think that God is relational.
He's relational and he put his image inside of us.
And so he can help us learn how to reconnect with people.
Okay.
But I think for you just hearing that you don't remember some
significant parts of childhood.
Some of the things you're saying you saw with your parents.
Some of the other OCD, you know,
some of the things that you saw with your parents,
some of the things that you saw with your parents.
God is going to probably present someone to you.
Even a friend.
Okay.
While you're in heartwork potentially.
Where he might nudge you to step out of the transactional and into
the relational.
Okay.
It might feel uncomfortable,
but I want to encourage you to practice on it.
Okay.
And I want you to know that God hears what you're saying.
I don't know when, I don't know if it's going to be during heartwork,
but I'm hearing that for you.
And I don't know if you've been praying for a close friend.
I want you to know that God hears what you're saying and praying
about, and that he is going to provide that friend for you.
But he wants you to heal so that you can receive that friend and
receive that friend.
Okay.
So as you're praying, you're welcome.
As I've said to everyone else,
you can come into the group and post about it and let's,
let's help you process this more.
I want to just say we love you and we're glad that you're here.
And I also say.
That what just happened was very relational, Emily.
I hope that you see that.
You allowed us in, you let your walls down.
And we're ha I feel it in the spirit.
I want you to see that you aren't just a transactional person.
You are very relational.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You all, this has been a great night. I can't believe it's 1013.
We went way late, but I'm so glad we did.
You know,
this was important for every single one of you that share tonight.
And I want for those that are still here and even those that might come
back and catch the end of the replay.
I want to say thank you to all of you.
I know each one of you have been so brave tonight and your stories
matter to us.
And I hope that even when I am saying things like we got to own our
side of the street, that, you know,
I'm saying those things to you and absolute love.
And respect. And I hope that in the days to come,
you sense more of God's love for you.
And so let me pray a salad. I want to pray for Vincent.
So we don't forget about that as well. Super important.
I want to pray for those of you who are listening right now.
We thank you for the love you are showing us in the word,
the tension, the growth.
God, thank you for revealing for healing that happened tonight,
as well as those that will happen in the days to come.
Thank you for.
Yeah.
Opening our hearts to hear what your spirit is saying.
Thank you for helping us to let the walls down.
To letter take our do not enter signs down and let you in father.
Yes, Lord, we thank you, Jesus, that you call us your friends.
We thank you.
More and more and more in the days to come and Holy spirit,
that you'll help them to remember that you're their comforter.
You're their counselor.
You're their guide. You're that ever present help in time of trouble.
Got to thank you for redeeming our minds,
restoring and rebuilding all of the broken and fallen places that you
would help us to recognize.
your truth and cling to that. Lord, we lift up Vincent tonight. Father, we just ask you to
continue to minister to him physically in every area that he has need. We just declare, yes,
Lord, resurrection power, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that it would continue
to operate in his body. God, that you would continue to, Lord, minister to every, I just
keep hearing every spot, every area where there is anything that there's a concern,
God, that you would just go to that area and say, peace, be still and wholeness and healing and
life. God, we thank you that he is protected and he is covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. And
we plead the blood of Jesus Christ over him, declaring for his body to be whole, completely
whole, lacking no good thing. God, we thank you for your peace that prevails over Ruth and her
family. God, we thank you, God, for being with them, even in the difficult moments, helping them
to cling to your truth and helping them to cling to your presence and your love. And we just thank
you, God, that you can continue to do miracles. God, we know that you're more than able, God.
So we trust you, no matter what, Lord, we trust that you see all things, know all things, give the
doctors wisdom and discernment, help them to know exactly what needs to be done. Let their hands be
skilled in every procedure. And we just thank you in advance, God, that you have your son in your
hands tonight. And we just pray for your peace to also be with him, that you would calm his body.
Yes, Lord, that you would calm his body so that it can heal, that cells can regenerate.
Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord, we thank you for healing and bringing a wholeness, completely whole,
lacking no good thing to Vincent. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. God bless you all.
I'll see you in the group. Have a great night, everyone. Bye.