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Okay, there, for some reason it wasn't saying recording.

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Well, welcome ladies, this is June 24th, Tuesday, heart check-in, so good to see y'all.

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If you are not able to come on camera, please, please, please do that.

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I think someone is at work, Kelly, you're at work, so totally get it, can't come on

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camera.

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Glad that you're here to listen, that's good, and Juanita, totally fine if you have to mute.

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All of you should be muted anyway until, if you have a question, then obviously I'll ask

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you to unmute and you can, and I'll take your questions here in a moment.

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Do I have anybody that is new to phase two and new to the call?

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I recognize most of you, Karina, is it Karina, Karina?

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I don't see your, I don't see your face, and I don't see a picture, I don't see a thing,

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so I don't, I apologize if you're not new, I just don't recognize your name, maybe you

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come on the evening calls?

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Anyway, if you're new and watching this in replay, welcome, we're glad to have you here.

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Okay, gotcha, thank you so much, I see your message in the chat, good, good, good.

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Okay, ladies, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.

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So those of you that are watching in replay that are new, my name is Karla Johnson, I'm

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one of your coaches here at Last Year Single, I strictly coach most of the ladies here in

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the Love Story Accelerator, along with my partner, Ebony, she takes the evening ones,

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I take the daytime ones, and then you have other, you obviously have Bethany in phase

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one, and then you'll have other coaches and stuff when you move on from Love Story Accelerator

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and go to the all community, but I'm here for the Love Story Accelerator, and I am a

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success story.

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So I came to find Jackie in 2020, when she launched her program, and I happened to be

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scrolling through Facebook during the pandemic, and at first, I kind of was cringy about it,

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because we called it something else, it was called Married in 12 Months or Less, and I

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thought, I just didn't seem like healthy.

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But when I read what program was all about, super naturally just felt a tug that it was

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something that I needed.

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And I'm so thankful that I joined and have been in this community now, almost five years.

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I, like I said, I am a success story.

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So after about two years in the group, I did meet my husband.

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Karina, there you are.

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I do.

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I remember you from last week.

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Now I know.

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Okay, thank you.

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This is why I like to see your faces, because I'm better with faces, not so much with names.

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But yeah, and so I met my husband.

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We've been, we'll be married two years at the beginning of September this year, and

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I've been coaching with Last Year's Single now, almost over a year and a half now.

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So I know a little bit about the program, and I'll walk through it.

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So nothing that we coach you here is probably something that I didn't myself have to be

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coached on, or have experienced myself.

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So just know there's a lot of grace and a lot of love, and a lot of compassion and

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understanding of where you all are sitting and what things you all are experiencing.

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So just know that.

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All right, just go over a couple housekeeping things.

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Just remember that when, to not be saving the Zoom links anymore, we are going to be

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changing those frequently so that we don't have people that are no longer in the program

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able to access it.

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So you all are paying members, and so that is why you have access to these calls.

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And so we don't want to save those, because then if people decide to drop off and then

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they're just not having access.

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And we want to keep this community safe for you all to get vulnerable here.

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It's super important to the process of being able to share openly and feel like you're

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in a trusted environment.

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And that's one way that we do that, is we decided to switch up the Zoom links.

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So when you need to come on to these Zoom calls on Tuesdays, just make sure that you're

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going to the app in the events tab and getting the links that way.

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What works for me, I know you can click and it will take you there.

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Sometimes there's glitches with that.

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The best way that I, and I've never had problems doing it this way, was to log into

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Zoom.

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on a different browser, like on my own browser,

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log into Zoom, and then I click join,

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and then I have to copy and paste the meeting ID.

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If you do that, then it should pop up the password.

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I type the password in, which again, it's on the events,

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it's the info in the events tab on that day,

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and then I never have any issues logging in that way.

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I know at times, sometimes people can find trouble

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clicking the link and it doesn't open it up.

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You typically have to be logged into Zoom first

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in order to be able to do that.

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So, like I said, if you just log into

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your free Zoom account, click join, copy the meeting ID,

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paste it in there, and then type in the password,

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you should not have any issues logging in

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to our Tuesday Zoom calls.

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Remember, those are at one o'clock Eastern

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and eight o'clock Eastern, okay?

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Just a quick reminder, when you are finished

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with the Love Story Accelerator,

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the best practice for that is to be here

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at least, at least, at least four to five weeks, okay?

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I have found more women get more if they're here

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probably six to eight weeks, maybe a little bit more, okay?

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That gives you time to be watching one video a week,

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that's the content video that doesn't include replays, okay?

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So, make sure you're watching those five videos,

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just one a week, then that should keep you here

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at least five weeks.

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Make sure you're coming to as many live calls as you can,

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or watching in replay, and ladies, make sure

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that you're doing Supernatural Saturday,

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and then try to get into a prayer call

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if you can throughout the week.

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That's gonna be super important to be intentional, okay?

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And then once you do that, you can request

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to move over to the all community,

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which we used to call phase three, this was phase two,

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and you just email admin at JackieDorman.com.

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Just a reminder, that email, it is,

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we can't take personal coaching questions on that email.

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Now, we are in the works of launching our coaching website

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so that if you need additional one-on-one coaching

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for an additional charge, we do charge for that.

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We do have several coaches, myself included,

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where we do take one-on-one calls.

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So, we are in the process of launching that website

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so that if you feel like you just need

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more in-depth coaching, then that's always available.

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Just try, just don't be emailing personal coaching questions

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to that admin email.

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Any coaching questions need to go through the app, okay?

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Like I said, if it's more in-depth and you need more time,

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we do 50-minute sessions.

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Those are available for an additional charge.

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Otherwise, ladies, I really wanna emphasize

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how important it's for you to go to the app

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and let us know what's happening.

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If you've got questions, if you're not sure what's going,

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you know, how to handle a certain situation,

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if you have hard work things come up,

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dating situations or scenarios to go up,

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if, you know, you're having an issue,

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even just some triggers with family,

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whatever it is that you're experiencing,

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we're here to support you, but we can't support you

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if you're not coming in the app and sharing it with us.

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Okay, we're there to answer your questions,

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we're there to coach you along the way,

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we're here to support you, but we can't support you

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if we don't know what support you need.

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Does that make sense?

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Okay, I see lots of shaking heads, so that's good.

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Okay, so a couple of things,

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and then I'm gonna leave the hour

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for y'all to ask your questions.

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Last week, our activation was putting yourself

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in alignment with Holy Spirit,

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and Ebony, a couple of weeks ago,

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was giving you ladies like a 50-day challenge

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to, you know, what can you do to help keep yourself

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in alignment with Holy Spirit each day?

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Is it five minutes reading your Bible?

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Is it waking up and praying for five minutes?

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Maybe it's, you know, prophesying over your life,

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maybe it's listening to worship music,

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declaring scriptures over yourself,

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instead of doing some of those other things

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that you typically do.

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So if you're, you know, you're kind of down in the dumps

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about something, are you self-medicating,

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or are you leaning into Holy Spirit?

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Okay, and so she gave you that challenge,

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so I wanna encourage you ladies to continue to do that.

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If anybody wants to share how it's been working for them,

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or blocks that they're having with that,

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by all means, ask your question here in a moment,

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and we can dive more into that.

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For this coming week, I wanted to kind of pull

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from what Supernatural Saturday topic was,

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so that's your activation,

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is to make sure that you go watch Supernatural Saturday.

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I want you ladies doing that every week.

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I understand Saturdays can be difficult,

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they're very difficult myself, because I'm.

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my sports mom and we're typically busy with sports on the weekend so I can't

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always get live on those calls but it is important to be watching those in replay

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so make sure you're doing that each week but this week's Supernatural Saturday I

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want you ladies focusing on getting in our app and sharing what your plan to be

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intentional what you're planning to be intentional about this week okay how are

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you going to shift from the waiting mode to believing in receiving mode okay it's

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it's nothing new you'll hear it in this program all the time about not being in

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the waiting room there's no waiting rooms in heaven there's preparation rooms

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and that's what y'all are here for you're here for preparation okay so it's

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gonna stretch you right when you when you get out dating it's gonna stretch

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you if you're not dating and you just came out of heart work you're still

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gonna be stretched because you're gonna have relationships outside of just

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dating relationships you can have relationships with friends family

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co-workers people at church and you'll be surprised it will stretch you when I

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came out of heart work I didn't jump into dating I took about a year wouldn't

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advise that but it did I took me a year but I still had stuff that I had to work

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through and when I came out of heart work I noticed stuff that was surfacing

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especially with people at my church you know I overextended myself I kind of

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always if people needed me to serve I did it and I didn't do it because I felt

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the heart to do it I felt like it was because I was gonna let people down or

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people weren't gonna like me if I didn't serve or I I used the childcare service

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because I had a son I was a single mom therefore I was obligated to serve in

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the nursery y'all at the time I was a school teacher like I didn't want to be

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serving the kids at the church I was serving kids as my job and then being a

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single mom I didn't need to but I oftentimes felt pressured by my pastor's

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wife that I was obligated to do that in it after coming out of heart work I

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started putting boundaries up and I started getting some pushback so it's

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not just this phase it's not just about dating we talk a lot about dating we

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help you ladies get out and date and kind of you know step out of those fear

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responses that you you got into because of some of the hurt that you experienced

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but it's not just about dating okay so those of you that are like I'm not yet

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dating yet it's okay you're still in the right place this is a season of

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preparing okay and believe it or not when you work on your outside

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relationships those will actually help you in your dating relationships as well

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believe it or not because you're gonna see things and how you respond to people

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differently and then when you do get into dating or see how you you do you're

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gonna want to kind of go back to old tendencies because that's what's

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comfortable and so when we're coaching you you're gonna be like but I don't

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want to do that Carla I don't want to do that I already know this guy isn't

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for me so I want to put the axe on him well no we're gonna tell you it's a yes

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until it's a no we're gonna help you uncover what some of those blind spots

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and those roadblocks are for you okay so just keep that in mind I know most of

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you here are not new so you've heard this before but those of you that are

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watching in replay I hope that gives you a better idea of what to expect in love

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story accelerator okay so again what are you gonna be intentional about this

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week and shifting from the waiting mode to receiving and believing so share that

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with us in the app sound good for some reason I need to remove I can't see the

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chat really well cuz I see participants okay now I can see okay so Kelly was

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just listening to supernatural Saturday that's good it's helping you reset your

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path so you're being intentional and wrong areas and time and wasting some

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time okay that is so amazing I'm glad that you're seeing that and then Juanita

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you were saying that is what I do every time with all the events okay good I'm

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thinking with the zoom links is what you were referencing okay good I just wanted

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make sure I didn't miss anything in the chat and so this week I just want to

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briefly touch on what it means to be that it's a yes until it's a no okay it

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means yes we want you to be open-minded okay we want you to give opportunities

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to guys that maybe you once might not have thought would be a match for you

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okay but that doesn't mean that you don't have choices and it doesn't mean

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that you don't get to set some

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So, for example, when you're on apps, a lot of times people will put their faith or something

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on there.

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And so, I see this often where people are like, am I just supposed to accept anybody

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and everybody?

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Well, no, you don't have to.

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If you feel led that it's okay to do that, you can.

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If not, that's fine too.

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Now, when I was in the program and I was dating and using the apps, I just set a boundary

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for myself that I wasn't going to talk to anybody that didn't at least put Christian

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on their profile.

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Now, that doesn't mean that they, like, if they didn't share anything in their profile,

240
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I'm talking about, they didn't mark that they were Christian, okay?

241
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If they marked that they were atheist, I wasn't going to date them, okay?

242
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So, just because they say, like, we're not saying just take down all your fences and

243
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everything, right?

244
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We're not saying just have an open door, anybody can enter.

245
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No, you're allowed to set preferences.

246
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We're just going to request that your preferences aren't limiting you to getting to know some

247
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really great guys, okay?

248
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You get to have choices in this program, okay?

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Now, if us coaches see that you're just constantly, like, shutting men down, not being open to

250
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a guy that maybe, I'm going to kind of use Bethany as an example, and I don't think that

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she would mind that I use her.

252
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She was dating Brian before they got married.

253
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She almost didn't date him and proceed to continue to date him because he was of a different

254
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denomination than she was.

255
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He was Christian, but he was a different denomination, and she would have passed up an incredible

256
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man if she didn't be open to the idea that, well, maybe there are still God-fearing men

257
00:17:02.760 --> 00:17:06.839
outside of my own denomination, okay?

258
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That doesn't mean that, again, that you need to go date a bunch of different denominations,

259
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:12.480
okay?

260
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It doesn't mean that you have to go date somebody that's a Buddhist, okay?

261
00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:22.839
But it's just being open of, like, okay, they say they're a Christian, I'm going to give

262
00:17:22.839 --> 00:17:24.119
them a shot.

263
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Maybe they say they're Catholic.

264
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Do you realize that there are some Catholics that do have a relationship with Jesus, that

265
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they're not practicing all of that Catholicism stuff?

266
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We have Catholics in our program right now, okay?

267
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That sometimes tends to be a push with ladies, oh, he's Catholic, and so I'm not going to

268
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date him.

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I want you ladies just, again, it's about being open to the idea of just getting to

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00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:56.040
know somebody, all right?

271
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So that's what it means to, it's a yes until it's a no.

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A no is, like, after two or three dates, if you're like, I just don't know if there's

273
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enough attraction and compatibility here or enjoyment that I want to continue to keep

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getting to know them further.

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I always encourage you ladies to at least give a guy two, if not three dates.

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As long as he's not pulling red flags, like he's rude, talking about sex, asking too personal

277
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of a questions after you put up a boundary, okay?

278
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Don't knock someone just because they might ask you about your divorce.

279
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You just don't know what questions to ask.

280
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You might just, if they ask you that, just be like, that's a really good question.

281
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I'd be happy to answer that in more detail once we've spent some time getting to know

282
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each other.

283
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:50.080
Would that be all right with you?

284
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You're setting a boundary there.

285
00:18:51.320 --> 00:18:58.320
You're not saying, I'm not going to talk about my divorce at some point if this continues.

286
00:18:59.040 --> 00:19:04.120
Because ladies, you are going to have those past relationship conversations when you're

287
00:19:04.120 --> 00:19:10.480
dating, but we don't want you having those conversations the first two or three days.

288
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Get to see if you actually like the person.

289
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Do you like being around them?

290
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That's what we're trying to get over first, okay?

291
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Not, oh, I don't want to waste my time because he doesn't believe in sex before marriage.

292
00:19:22.320 --> 00:19:28.400
You shouldn't know his stance on sex before marriage in the first couple of dates unless

293
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he posts it on his profile.

294
00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:35.000
My husband thankfully did that, so I didn't have to have the worry or the awkward conversation

295
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:36.640
like, I'm getting to know this person.

296
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I like him.

297
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He might cut and run if he realizes I'm not going to have sex with him before marriage.

298
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Luckily, he did that.

299
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Not all men are, okay?

300
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Not all men are going to share that openly.

301
00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:57.060
Some men will, honestly, and it's a blessing, but just because they may not have the idea

302
00:19:57.060 --> 00:20:00.080
of like, okay, I'm not going to have sex with him before marriage.

303
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.040
have sex for a marriage.

304
00:20:02.040 --> 00:20:03.960
But if they realize that maybe you will,

305
00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:08.320
that you are, they actually might respect that boundary

306
00:20:08.320 --> 00:20:09.600
and they're gonna have enough self-control

307
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to be like, you know what?

308
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I'm gonna protect that.

309
00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:15.640
So again, those are questions that you're not gonna wanna

310
00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:17.640
know the first couple of dates.

311
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I mean, I actually, I say that in y'all,

312
00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:24.720
but I do wanna know, but it's not necessary

313
00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:26.200
because you haven't even decided,

314
00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:28.480
do you even really like this person

315
00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:32.160
to have that conversation yet, okay?

316
00:20:33.480 --> 00:20:34.720
Does that make sense?

317
00:20:35.960 --> 00:20:39.400
Okay, so that's what that means.

318
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It's a yes until it's a no.

319
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You don't have to date the atheist

320
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:45.280
just because they reached out to you on the app.

321
00:20:45.280 --> 00:20:47.240
You know, you get to have choices.

322
00:20:47.240 --> 00:20:50.680
We're just setting up guardrails for you, okay?

323
00:20:50.680 --> 00:20:52.480
Just get outside of dating people

324
00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:54.960
you normally wouldn't date, all right?

325
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Does that sound good?

326
00:20:57.040 --> 00:21:00.320
And then, all right, so if you have any questions,

327
00:21:00.320 --> 00:21:05.320
we've got 40, 55 or so questions,

328
00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:08.560
or not questions, minutes.

329
00:21:08.560 --> 00:21:10.920
So don't hold back.

330
00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:13.520
I wanna know what's going on in your world.

331
00:21:13.520 --> 00:21:15.160
I got two hands up.

332
00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:16.800
If I don't get more hands,

333
00:21:16.800 --> 00:21:19.560
I'm gonna end up calling on people, okay?

334
00:21:19.560 --> 00:21:21.400
I'm gonna ask like, what's going on in your world?

335
00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:23.840
There's a couple of people I've seen some posts,

336
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:27.640
so I might ask you about some things, okay?

337
00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:31.520
If you're not, this is where you get the coaching.

338
00:21:31.520 --> 00:21:35.360
This is where the community is really, really helpful

339
00:21:35.360 --> 00:21:40.360
because we're getting to know each other, okay?

340
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.160
And your questions will help other people

341
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:46.200
with breakthrough as well, okay?

342
00:21:46.200 --> 00:21:47.600
Okay, now I see a couple more.

343
00:21:47.600 --> 00:21:49.000
Thank you, ladies.

344
00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:51.040
Thank you, Anita, Kim, awesome.

345
00:21:51.040 --> 00:21:53.120
Okay, so now I got six of you, okay?

346
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:54.640
That'll be good, that'll be good.

347
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:57.680
And ladies, if you have a question pop up.

348
00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:59.200
Wait, I'm so sorry.

349
00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:00.920
I am so sorry, Carla, to do this.

350
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.880
I'm like trying to work and listen at the same time,

351
00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:05.200
and like there's been some fires.

352
00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:06.800
I missed that question.

353
00:22:06.800 --> 00:22:09.520
Do you mind asking it one more time?

354
00:22:09.520 --> 00:22:14.080
I'm saying if you have questions for the call,

355
00:22:14.080 --> 00:22:17.760
so if you have a dating question, a heart work question,

356
00:22:17.760 --> 00:22:19.440
something that you might've posted in the app

357
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:21.320
and want more clarity on,

358
00:22:21.320 --> 00:22:24.680
you can use this time now on our call

359
00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:27.320
to ask your questions.

360
00:22:27.320 --> 00:22:29.160
Okay, cool, now I got eight.

361
00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:30.480
All right, we got a lot here.

362
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.800
We got about 55 minutes or so.

363
00:22:33.800 --> 00:22:36.600
So we need to keep things short, brief, and powerful, okay?

364
00:22:36.600 --> 00:22:38.360
I don't need the full backstory.

365
00:22:38.360 --> 00:22:40.760
If you've posted some in the app and I've seen it,

366
00:22:40.760 --> 00:22:43.560
you don't have to like share it more with me.

367
00:22:43.560 --> 00:22:45.360
I probably have read it,

368
00:22:45.360 --> 00:22:47.360
just haven't had a moment to respond.

369
00:22:48.280 --> 00:22:50.240
So just short, brief, powerful.

370
00:22:50.240 --> 00:22:52.120
Lisa, how are you?

371
00:22:52.120 --> 00:22:53.160
You're out there dating.

372
00:22:53.160 --> 00:22:54.840
It's good, I like it.

373
00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:59.560
Yes, I'm fine.

374
00:22:59.560 --> 00:23:01.800
And then I'm gonna remind you ladies, one question, okay?

375
00:23:01.800 --> 00:23:03.720
If you have more than one question,

376
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:06.240
then you can ask them after everybody's gotten

377
00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:07.520
through their first question.

378
00:23:07.520 --> 00:23:08.560
Sound good?

379
00:23:08.560 --> 00:23:10.160
Yeah.

380
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:13.680
I don't know if you read, I did post it in the app.

381
00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:15.080
Not sure if you had a chance to read it,

382
00:23:15.080 --> 00:23:17.920
but I-

383
00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:20.640
I saw briefly some of the video calls.

384
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.000
Is that what you're referencing?

385
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.840
Okay.

386
00:23:22.840 --> 00:23:23.880
Yeah, okay.

387
00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:26.160
So yeah, so this man, he's so sweet.

388
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:28.560
He's very respectful.

389
00:23:28.560 --> 00:23:30.880
He has been, he started talking to me

390
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:32.360
and then on the third message he said,

391
00:23:32.360 --> 00:23:33.560
when can we meet for coffee?

392
00:23:33.560 --> 00:23:36.760
So, and then I said, well, I would love to do that.

393
00:23:36.760 --> 00:23:38.200
But then I asked him another question

394
00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:40.160
to divert that question.

395
00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:44.200
And then we ended up having a date plan on 29th,

396
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:45.640
like coming Sunday.

397
00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:47.080
But then I asked him to do a video call.

398
00:23:47.080 --> 00:23:50.600
So in all of that, like he was really responding

399
00:23:50.600 --> 00:23:54.160
pretty well consistently before we had set the date

400
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:56.920
for meeting in person and the video call.

401
00:23:56.920 --> 00:23:59.080
Now it has kind of slowed down,

402
00:23:59.080 --> 00:24:02.200
like not even a one message a day.

403
00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:03.920
Like at the end yesterday, I was like,

404
00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:05.480
hey, how was your day?

405
00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:08.280
And he shared about his day, but he was pretty tired.

406
00:24:08.280 --> 00:24:11.760
So I guess he probably gone to bed after that.

407
00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:13.680
But now that that being said,

408
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:16.400
like today I have a call at 6 p.m. with him.

409
00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:19.360
How do I even ask if I'll be okay to do it?

410
00:24:19.360 --> 00:24:21.280
Like, I don't wanna get all dressed

411
00:24:21.280 --> 00:24:22.960
and then him not be there.

412
00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:25.920
Like, how do I initiate or do I even initiate?

413
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:27.240
Okay, so you guys have confirmed

414
00:24:27.240 --> 00:24:29.360
that you have a 6 p.m. call tonight?

415
00:24:29.360 --> 00:24:30.200
Yeah.

416
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:31.200
Okay, I think you can just be like,

417
00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:34.360
hey, just double checking, are we still on for tonight?

418
00:24:34.360 --> 00:24:35.200
Okay.

419
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:37.000
I think you can just be really, really simple.

420
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:38.880
Like, hey, I just wanna clarify

421
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:41.000
that we're still on for tonight.

422
00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:44.080
And then wait for a response.

423
00:24:44.080 --> 00:24:46.560
Go ahead and just get yourself ready.

424
00:24:46.560 --> 00:24:47.400
Yeah.

425
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:48.240
Because here's the thing,

426
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:50.640
if he doesn't show up at six o'clock,

427
00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:52.600
go find something to do.

428
00:24:52.600 --> 00:24:53.440
True.

429
00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:55.760
Like, distract yourself, okay?

430
00:24:55.760 --> 00:24:56.960
Ladies, that's important.

431
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:58.960
I really felt like this is really good.

432
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.520
This is coming up in my spirit.

433
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.680
it. Ladies, I know how how easy it can be to get discouraged when plans don't go the way that we

434
00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:10.080
expect them to go, especially when we're getting ready for dates and stuff and maybe someone

435
00:25:10.080 --> 00:25:16.960
doesn't show or we feel like we get ghosted. It's really easy and it's valid to feel let down.

436
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:24.960
The way we shift out of that is we go find something to do. Okay, okay. Use it as an

437
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:30.080
opportunity. Like, you know what? This sucks, but you know what? I'm not going to let it get me

438
00:25:30.080 --> 00:25:35.920
down. I'm going to use this as an opportunity to go do something nice for myself. Right. Sorry,

439
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:40.240
what did you say? How do I say to him? Hey, hey, just want to double check that we're still on for

440
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:46.480
six o'clock tonight. I'm looking forward to it. But ask the question, make sure there's an actual

441
00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:54.880
question. And then I will encourage you in the future, don't divert when they ask questions.

442
00:25:55.680 --> 00:26:00.880
Like if he's saying, let's meet in person. So he wanted to meet in person and you said,

443
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:07.200
that's great. Let's do that. Can we do a video call first? Okay. Is that what you did? Yes,

444
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:13.040
that's what I did. So then do the video call. Now at the video call at the end, if you if you

445
00:26:13.040 --> 00:26:20.480
enjoyed yourself and you do want to meet him in person, remind him this was really fun. I'm really

446
00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:28.160
glad we took this call. Um, let's definitely plan to get together in person. Let me know some days

447
00:26:28.160 --> 00:26:35.920
and times that work for you. So, um, if they if they're not communicating a lot, like one message

448
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:41.440
a day, how is the best way to say that to them? Or is that okay in the beginning? Well, Lisa,

449
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:46.800
that's okay. In the beginning, you're still at level one. So level one, and even in ladies,

450
00:26:46.800 --> 00:26:51.040
and you all need to hear this too, even in level two, it's okay that a guy's not talking to you

451
00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:57.760
every day. And it's okay for you not to be talking to them every day. If you have time and you feel

452
00:26:57.760 --> 00:27:03.040
like doing it, that's fine, but we don't want you hung up in these early stages of level two,

453
00:27:03.040 --> 00:27:06.960
where you haven't even had an in-person date, or maybe you only had one in-person date.

454
00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:11.920
And you're having a lot of emotional connection with the person that you're messaging them

455
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:18.640
several times a day, you know, without any intention of having real life interaction with

456
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:26.640
them. We don't want you getting clogged with this false emotional connection, just because

457
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:33.440
you're messaging back and forth. I say this from experience ladies, before I found this program,

458
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:41.760
okay, I found this program, I was like 36, 37 years old. When I was 29, 30 years old,

459
00:27:42.560 --> 00:27:49.600
I was on the apps, and I dated a guy that lived in Indiana. And I was living in Florida. Now,

460
00:27:49.600 --> 00:27:53.760
I'm originally from Indiana. So that kind of struck me. He was from Northern Indiana. I was

461
00:27:53.760 --> 00:27:59.360
from Central Indiana. But he knew of the area that I lived in, which was Sarasota, Florida,

462
00:27:59.360 --> 00:28:06.720
because he visited there, he had family there. And he, I actually met him a few times in person,

463
00:28:08.320 --> 00:28:14.160
but it wasn't consistent. But we talked and messaged each other every single day for almost

464
00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:19.440
a year. So when he eventually moved to Florida, y'all, I thought I was in a relationship with

465
00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:25.120
this man. And he wanted really nothing to do with me. I was devastated. I spent a year now,

466
00:28:25.760 --> 00:28:32.320
Kathy, I see you shaking your head. No. Yeah, like, shame on him. But guess what? Shame on me too.

467
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:40.480
Like, I allowed that because I allow myself to feel like it was a connection when really it

468
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:45.280
wasn't. You can't we don't want you emotionally connecting with someone that you are not going

469
00:28:45.280 --> 00:28:54.000
to do life with. Okay. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. Thank you. You are welcome. All right,

470
00:28:54.000 --> 00:29:01.680
Kathy, you're up next. Oh, thank you. So I thought I posted in the coaching part last night. And I

471
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:05.280
actually posted it and all because I missed the little secret tab at the bottom. So I just said,

472
00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:12.080
but real quick, so since last week, and you weren't here last week, but I've had like three

473
00:29:12.080 --> 00:29:16.880
in person dates. Now the one guy gave two dates to and kind of was outside my little parameter

474
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:22.800
as far as like age, I thought you're not okay. Like you said, I did all that. And he was a

475
00:29:22.800 --> 00:29:28.080
Christian man and all good. So the second date, though, you know, we have diaper guy on the one,

476
00:29:28.080 --> 00:29:32.240
the one lady had the diaper guy that like we're adult diapers. Well, this guy was great. I'm just

477
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:36.960
gonna call him wingman. The second date, we went to see that movie, the rodeo, the last rodeo,

478
00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:42.800
which was great. And he took me to another bar. And then he ate chicken wings and had barbecue

479
00:29:42.800 --> 00:29:49.280
sauce all over his mouth. And he just wanted a t shirt to the date. And I didn't even try. I

480
00:29:49.280 --> 00:29:55.760
looked really cute for two days. And I just kind of got that wasted. So I think he must have gotten

481
00:29:55.760 --> 00:29:59.360
the message. He's not really messaged me. He was going out of town. I'm going to be in Bradenton

482
00:29:59.360 --> 00:29:59.840
tomorrow.

483
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.520
Yeah, I'm in Sarasota. I'm so excited to go see my friend. But anyhow, so what has happened

484
00:30:07.520 --> 00:30:13.320
though, in the meantime, I met another guy, he contacted me first because even on his

485
00:30:13.320 --> 00:30:19.360
profile he said, long distance can be a problem. And I'm like, and he's about three hours away.

486
00:30:19.360 --> 00:30:25.160
So he posted that. And but anyhow, so he said, Gosh, I just love your profile. I said, Gosh,

487
00:30:25.160 --> 00:30:30.840
I love yours too. And anyhow, so we have talked and talked and talked on the phone. I haven't

488
00:30:30.840 --> 00:30:35.320
really done a video with them. But I had him, I could tell we became Facebook friends that

489
00:30:35.320 --> 00:30:38.720
it was a five year old picture. So I said, Hey, you're visiting your sister, why don't

490
00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:45.040
you take a picture and send it to me? He did. And he's a Christian man. And so as we progressed

491
00:30:45.040 --> 00:30:50.920
already, his concern, and we kind of talked about this, I think last week a little bit,

492
00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:55.480
I need some guidance on long distance dating. So it's three hours. He has great friends

493
00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:59.960
that live here. Money is here's the other great thing. Money is not an object for him.

494
00:30:59.960 --> 00:31:05.400
He's very well set hiring time. And this is what he told me yesterday. I just have to

495
00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:09.800
tell you that I want a final relationship. I'm not into a hookup. I'm looking for someone

496
00:31:09.800 --> 00:31:17.480
I wish to marry and live my days with. You can run now. Yeah, no, I'm in the same boat.

497
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:21.560
And then he made this comment. I've been praying so long that a yoked relationship

498
00:31:21.560 --> 00:31:26.600
has not come. God wants me to live old and live old and alone. I believe I said stop

499
00:31:26.600 --> 00:31:31.480
speaking that I I last I last year singled him and I go No, never speak that over yourself

500
00:31:31.480 --> 00:31:38.360
again. And I said, That's not true. And he's coming here the fourth, fifth and sixth to

501
00:31:38.360 --> 00:31:47.360
meet me. So yeah, so that's okay. But I need some help. Is there an area in the book, or

502
00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:54.320
some of the videos I can watch about long distance dating? Um, there's not. But good

503
00:31:54.320 --> 00:32:02.720
news. I was in a long distance relationship. Okay, so I do have experience with that. Obviously,

504
00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:06.480
I was in this program and going through it. There's been many women in program that have

505
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:15.920
done long distance. I've heard Jackie teach on this. So it's, we we have, we have an understanding

506
00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:19.920
of it. So you're not like, you're not floating out in the middle of nowhere. Like, what am I

507
00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:30.240
supposed to do here? Okay. The cool thing that I'm hearing is that he, he obviously is set up

508
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:37.120
time to come see you. That's huge. So how long have you all been talking? Only about five days.

509
00:32:37.120 --> 00:32:43.440
But I mean, a lot like he drove for two hours when he was driving back. Okay. So he's already

510
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:47.920
driven to see you. No, he, that was driving from his sister's house. We've just had long

511
00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:52.640
depth conversations on the phone about a lot of things already. Okay. Well, the good news is that

512
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:58.320
you all are meeting in person in less than three weeks. That's important ladies. So those of you

513
00:32:58.320 --> 00:33:02.560
that are open to long distance, it's going to be really, really important that you get

514
00:33:02.560 --> 00:33:08.640
a face to face in a three to six week period. You don't want to be having this emotional

515
00:33:08.640 --> 00:33:11.760
connection because you're going to, at this point, you're going to have to have

516
00:33:11.760 --> 00:33:17.440
phone calls, texting, FaceTime, all that kind of stuff. You're going to have to date differently

517
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:23.840
than you can date in person. There's ways of doing it. But the big thing is getting in person to

518
00:33:23.840 --> 00:33:30.320
really see if that, that connection face to face is really there and that you enjoy being around

519
00:33:30.320 --> 00:33:36.720
that person. And so that's good. That's a good sign that he's already set up time to come see

520
00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:43.280
you. I think it's important that, I mean, you guys have clearly already talked about how

521
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:51.760
money is, the finances is not an issue. That's, that's huge. Because you're going to, you're

522
00:33:51.760 --> 00:33:58.640
going to want to make sure that you see each other as often as you can. Okay. For me, my

523
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:05.280
husband and I, I don't think we went more than a month of seeing each other. I think there was

524
00:34:05.280 --> 00:34:11.280
one time there was a hiccup and he had to stay longer and it was like a six week period.

525
00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:20.080
But I was either, he was either flying to Florida. Now the, the thing with him is that he worked

526
00:34:20.080 --> 00:34:26.880
remotely, but his company was based in Florida. He was living in Texas, so he could travel for work.

527
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:34.080
And so he had hotel stay, all that kind of stuff was covered. And then his flights were covered. So

528
00:34:34.080 --> 00:34:40.159
he was able to frequently come for work. So that helped for us. And then if he wasn't,

529
00:34:40.159 --> 00:34:46.239
then he was flying me out to see him in Texas. And I had a little bit more flexibility because I was

530
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:51.679
no longer a school teacher. I was just, you know, working where I had a little bit more flexibility

531
00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:58.160
in my schedule that I could take off when I needed to. So that's important that you are engaging in

532
00:34:58.160 --> 00:34:59.840
that. I

533
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.000
would, do you know why he said long distance can be a problem?

534
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:08.440
I'm not sure he said that, but I told him you're the one that

535
00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:10.160
reached out to me first year.

536
00:35:10.160 --> 00:35:14.120
You talked to me and my son gave me like a green light because I wasn't sure I

537
00:35:14.120 --> 00:35:16.640
was ready to leave Wichita for Kansas city area.

538
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:20.260
He said, mom, my girlfriend, her family's all in Kansas city.

539
00:35:20.260 --> 00:35:21.080
It's no big deal.

540
00:35:21.080 --> 00:35:22.960
So that was my big green light.

541
00:35:23.560 --> 00:35:26.640
And so he, he's just really worried about how to navigate it.

542
00:35:26.680 --> 00:35:27.680
He's still working.

543
00:35:27.720 --> 00:35:31.480
He doesn't have to work, but he was waiting to find this person before

544
00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:33.600
he retired, because I think he's a pretty bored.

545
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:34.500
Okay.

546
00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:37.040
Um, but you, are you, you're retired?

547
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:38.080
Pretty much.

548
00:35:38.120 --> 00:35:38.620
Yeah.

549
00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:39.280
I'm sorry.

550
00:35:39.480 --> 00:35:46.000
Even if you can't, or he can't come to you, he could fly you or, you know,

551
00:35:46.200 --> 00:35:46.960
Oh, I'll just drive.

552
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:50.560
I've got friends there and that was my other thing is making

553
00:35:50.560 --> 00:35:52.840
sure that you have places to stay.

554
00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:54.480
I do free stays.

555
00:35:54.520 --> 00:35:55.020
Yes.

556
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:55.920
Perfect.

557
00:35:56.280 --> 00:35:56.560
Yeah.

558
00:35:56.560 --> 00:35:59.520
So, I mean, it was funny because he's got great friends here too.

559
00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:02.240
He said, well, I can stay with them or stay in a hotel, whichever.

560
00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:05.840
So, I mean, it's a really, I mean, I didn't expect this.

561
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:08.840
So, and I'm, I don't want to put the cart before the horse, but I

562
00:36:08.840 --> 00:36:10.680
mean, everything can be excited.

563
00:36:10.720 --> 00:36:11.880
You can be excited for this.

564
00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:15.040
I think it's totally fine, but you don't sleep very good.

565
00:36:15.040 --> 00:36:15.840
So that's a problem.

566
00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:16.840
Cause I'm traveling tomorrow.

567
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:22.000
Girl, I don't travel a whole lot and I still don't sleep good.

568
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:24.920
Cause my hormones are all over the place.

569
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:29.400
It'd be 65 and giddy.

570
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:31.000
Good.

571
00:36:31.200 --> 00:36:33.320
I think these are all great things.

572
00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:34.400
I love it.

573
00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:38.560
Um, I, it sounds, it sounds wonderful.

574
00:36:38.560 --> 00:36:42.200
I mean, are you, is there anything that you're nervous about or unsure about?

575
00:36:42.200 --> 00:36:46.960
I mean, I, I think again, just making sure that you guys can see each other and

576
00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:51.680
spend some time getting to know one another, the biggest key to make sure

577
00:36:51.680 --> 00:36:55.600
in person, he's as good as he is on paper and the pictures are really good.

578
00:36:55.600 --> 00:36:56.720
And yeah.

579
00:36:57.160 --> 00:36:57.480
Yeah.

580
00:36:57.520 --> 00:36:58.160
So, okay.

581
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.560
I'll just try to keep that in mind and we can meet in the middle too.

582
00:37:01.560 --> 00:37:04.440
I've got a friend that lives in between too, that I can stay with.

583
00:37:04.440 --> 00:37:08.680
And if you have anything that comes up where you're not sure about, or you

584
00:37:08.680 --> 00:37:12.680
don't know how to navigate again, put it in the app, ask your questions.

585
00:37:12.680 --> 00:37:15.320
Like I said, I have experience with long distance.

586
00:37:15.640 --> 00:37:15.840
Okay.

587
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:20.960
Um, I've, I've heard Jackie coach on it frequently as well.

588
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:26.360
Obviously I leaned into her and I say this, I was not going to do long distance.

589
00:37:27.080 --> 00:37:29.960
I was like, no, I'm not moving either.

590
00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:34.000
Like I was, I like, that was like a non-negotiable for me.

591
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:34.680
Right.

592
00:37:34.720 --> 00:37:38.160
And God had to scale that away from me.

593
00:37:38.160 --> 00:37:42.560
And when I finally was like, fine, I'm surrendering it all.

594
00:37:43.960 --> 00:37:46.280
Then my husband dropped in my DMS a week later.

595
00:37:46.840 --> 00:37:50.560
And then I was like, oh, he's in Florida because he didn't

596
00:37:50.560 --> 00:37:51.680
say about living in Texas.

597
00:37:51.680 --> 00:37:54.320
He just said he worked out of Clearwater, Florida.

598
00:37:55.240 --> 00:37:58.840
And that initiated me to be like, oh, that's yeah, we can entertain this.

599
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:00.720
And he's like, oh, I don't live in Florida.

600
00:38:00.720 --> 00:38:01.480
I live in Texas.

601
00:38:01.480 --> 00:38:04.880
And I was like, well, I guess it doesn't hurt to get to know you a little bit.

602
00:38:06.840 --> 00:38:11.440
And then, like I said, once we met and got to know each other, it was like, no,

603
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:14.760
this was what God intended.

604
00:38:15.080 --> 00:38:19.480
I just needed to be ready to release the pen about location.

605
00:38:20.560 --> 00:38:28.200
And once I got through that, like the doors flung open, I was an army brat and

606
00:38:28.200 --> 00:38:31.680
God had kind of put in my spirit that about moving and my son was like, well,

607
00:38:31.680 --> 00:38:34.160
like another state, I go, no, I mean, I don't know.

608
00:38:34.160 --> 00:38:39.200
I I'm thinking about changing locations within Wichita to a different house.

609
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:41.400
Yeah, but then this happened.

610
00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:44.000
I'm like, okay, well, I think I was just supposed to be open to the idea of

611
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:45.080
moving and I'm okay with it.

612
00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:48.120
So, yeah, I think, I think this is good.

613
00:38:48.120 --> 00:38:50.840
I think I'm excited to kind of see again.

614
00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:52.120
It's okay to be giddy.

615
00:38:52.200 --> 00:38:52.840
Okay.

616
00:38:53.160 --> 00:38:57.280
If you see anything like, remember, everyone's going to have yellow flags.

617
00:38:57.280 --> 00:38:59.640
You, you have yellow flags, you'll have yellow flags.

618
00:38:59.960 --> 00:39:04.280
Just make sure that you come and process, um, through them with us here.

619
00:39:04.280 --> 00:39:05.960
We're here to help you navigate it.

620
00:39:06.040 --> 00:39:08.880
Um, I think it, it sounds really good.

621
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:09.920
I'm excited for you.

622
00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:10.840
Thank you.

623
00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:11.560
Thanks Carla.

624
00:39:11.600 --> 00:39:13.040
I'll be reaching out for you for sure.

625
00:39:13.040 --> 00:39:16.760
Since you're the expert in long distance, I've got the long distance under my belt.

626
00:39:19.080 --> 00:39:20.600
All right, Julia.

627
00:39:20.640 --> 00:39:22.280
How are you, Julia?

628
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:22.760
Remind me.

629
00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:25.120
Are you, have I, have I seen you before?

630
00:39:25.120 --> 00:39:26.080
Were you here last week?

631
00:39:26.480 --> 00:39:28.400
Um, yeah, I was here last week.

632
00:39:28.440 --> 00:39:29.000
Yeah.

633
00:39:29.680 --> 00:39:29.920
Please.

634
00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:30.200
Sorry.

635
00:39:30.200 --> 00:39:33.320
I'm I to talk much.

636
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:33.720
Okay.

637
00:39:34.680 --> 00:39:40.560
Um, so yeah, I, um, I've had quite a few phone dates, I guess you could call them.

638
00:39:40.640 --> 00:39:47.160
Um, the last week, my situation is difficult because I live rural.

639
00:39:47.320 --> 00:39:50.920
Um, I've got kids, I've got them 24 seven.

640
00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:56.600
Like it's, it's hard, you know, um, to, so I feel like video is a good first step

641
00:39:56.640 --> 00:39:59.840
cause it helps kind of weed out.

642
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.680
Yeah, I was a single mom, too. I, I get it.

643
00:40:05.560 --> 00:40:10.080
One of the guys I talked to last week, man, he, he was kind of a

644
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:16.400
jerk. I'm not gonna lie. I just, I just answered. I didn't know.

645
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:19.080
You know, when you're put on the spot, you almost don't know how

646
00:40:19.080 --> 00:40:20.560
to respond. Like,

647
00:40:20.600 --> 00:40:23.120
it's kind of like taken back, like you don't expect someone to

648
00:40:23.120 --> 00:40:26.640
be a jerk. And then you're like, what is happening here?

649
00:40:27.640 --> 00:40:30.280
Of course, I answered all these questions. And I probably

650
00:40:30.280 --> 00:40:32.720
shouldn't have because I just wasn't, I was just taken back

651
00:40:32.720 --> 00:40:38.520
that like, yeah. But looking back, I think I'm more prepared

652
00:40:38.640 --> 00:40:42.880
for the future. Just in, you know, ending it and just being

653
00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:47.160
like, you know, I don't think this conversation is going where

654
00:40:47.160 --> 00:40:48.920
it needs to go. And, you know,

655
00:40:49.320 --> 00:40:50.840
and then you can hit end.

656
00:40:51.040 --> 00:40:52.160
Yes, yes, yes.

657
00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:53.720
And the screen goes away.

658
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:54.600
Yes, yes.

659
00:40:54.600 --> 00:40:57.760
And you can block and you don't have to give an explanation for

660
00:40:57.760 --> 00:41:01.160
it, especially if they're crossing lines and being really,

661
00:41:01.160 --> 00:41:01.760
really

662
00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:06.480
well, like, yeah, like rude. I don't like, I don't know if

663
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:09.280
you've ever talked to somebody who says everything that's in

664
00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:13.000
their mind. But like, that's what he was doing. Like he was

665
00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:16.280
doing. He's like, Oh, he was like telling me how well he knew

666
00:41:16.280 --> 00:41:20.000
me from just a couple things that I shared. And I'm like, you

667
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:25.440
have no idea. And he's like, I'll bet you have. It's like he

668
00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:26.200
tells me this.

669
00:41:26.200 --> 00:41:29.000
He said, wait, wait, I didn't you cut out. He said what?

670
00:41:29.120 --> 00:41:32.000
He said, I'll bet you haven't been on very many dates. I can

671
00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:33.480
tell. That's what he tells me.

672
00:41:33.520 --> 00:41:34.000
Like,

673
00:41:34.600 --> 00:41:36.920
I've been like, what makes you think that?

674
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:38.240
Right, right. Who is this?

675
00:41:38.240 --> 00:41:41.600
Have you not been on many dates? Is that is that why? Well,

676
00:41:41.600 --> 00:41:45.520
right. I sometimes I can dish it back. Like I learned how to do

677
00:41:45.520 --> 00:41:49.120
that. Sometimes that's my personality. Like,

678
00:41:50.880 --> 00:41:53.880
I asked him, you know, is that why you're still single to, you

679
00:41:53.880 --> 00:41:57.760
know? Do you not have experience with dating either?

680
00:41:57.880 --> 00:42:02.360
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, I just felt like he thought he was

681
00:42:02.360 --> 00:42:06.200
better than me. Does that make sense? Like, yeah. And I there's

682
00:42:06.200 --> 00:42:09.120
not hierarchy in God's kingdom. So and we didn't I mean, we

683
00:42:09.120 --> 00:42:11.760
didn't go deep. And honestly, he hasn't contacted me since and

684
00:42:11.760 --> 00:42:12.800
that's good. I'm glad.

685
00:42:13.320 --> 00:42:17.120
Yeah, and that's the thing is, and being able to sit back and

686
00:42:17.120 --> 00:42:21.600
recognize that's a hurting person. It is such an insecure

687
00:42:21.600 --> 00:42:26.920
person. Yeah. And you don't have to carry it. It sounds like

688
00:42:26.920 --> 00:42:29.040
you're not carrying it, which is good.

689
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:33.080
But I was, I was real upset about it for a couple days. I

690
00:42:33.080 --> 00:42:36.480
was like, I not tell him that. Why did I shoot it back? And

691
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:41.080
then, you know, God really clearly told me again, going

692
00:42:41.080 --> 00:42:47.280
back to heartwork. I'm not here to please people. Like your goal

693
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:51.520
is not to please that person. That's not my daughter. And it

694
00:42:51.520 --> 00:42:54.960
really doesn't matter what that person says. And I think back to

695
00:42:54.960 --> 00:43:01.760
that one scripture about, about the people that were in the

696
00:43:01.760 --> 00:43:07.360
synagogues that were leaders that did believe in Jesus. But

697
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:11.520
how they, they cared more about the praise of people than they

698
00:43:11.520 --> 00:43:15.120
did about. And so they never admitted that they believed in

699
00:43:15.120 --> 00:43:17.800
Jesus. So who knows where they are on the last day, right? Like

700
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:21.400
I don't want that to be me. I don't I want to be clear. So

701
00:43:22.120 --> 00:43:27.360
and it sounds like I love that you you recognize, like, I sat

702
00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:32.080
in it for a couple days. But then you leaned back into Holy

703
00:43:32.080 --> 00:43:35.600
Spirit, you leaned into what God said, and you started taking a

704
00:43:35.600 --> 00:43:38.720
lot of those lines and replacing them with truth. That's

705
00:43:38.720 --> 00:43:43.280
heartwork. That's what you ladies are going to experience

706
00:43:43.320 --> 00:43:48.080
as you start dating. I would love to tell you that you're not

707
00:43:48.080 --> 00:43:50.760
going to experience some, you're not going to experience

708
00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:54.120
disappointment in your dating. I would love to tell you that

709
00:43:54.120 --> 00:43:57.760
that's you're not going to have to. But the reality is, that's

710
00:43:57.800 --> 00:44:00.960
not going to, you're going to probably face some disappointment

711
00:44:00.960 --> 00:44:03.920
with some of your dates. You're going to face some rejection,

712
00:44:03.920 --> 00:44:06.600
you're going to face some things that are going to feel

713
00:44:06.640 --> 00:44:10.120
odd and uncomfortable. And those things will happen because

714
00:44:10.120 --> 00:44:13.600
there's a deeper healing that will take place, that's

715
00:44:13.600 --> 00:44:16.880
preparing you for your for your marriage, and for that person

716
00:44:16.880 --> 00:44:20.360
that is going to come. And it's not going to, none of the guys

717
00:44:20.360 --> 00:44:22.960
that that are all the wrong guys are, it's not going to matter.

718
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:26.320
Because when you find that person that God really wants for

719
00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:32.200
you, and you willingly choose that it's, it's going to be

720
00:44:32.200 --> 00:44:37.400
you're in alignment with him. And so it really, it's really

721
00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:40.880
important that you ladies practice these heartwork tools.

722
00:44:40.920 --> 00:44:44.480
And that's what this dating for discovery is really all about,

723
00:44:45.080 --> 00:44:48.560
is putting your heartwork tools into practice, as you date

724
00:44:48.560 --> 00:44:53.280
differently, as you recognize things that maybe sit

725
00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:56.480
uncomfortable to you, or you don't like, or it makes you feel

726
00:44:56.480 --> 00:45:00.000
a certain way, or you're responding, or you know, you

727
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.000
recognize something that's unhealthy in you

728
00:45:05.040 --> 00:45:07.000
or unhealthy in people that you're attracting

729
00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:09.440
and you're gonna start growing out of that.

730
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:13.700
That's the cool thing about this program and the process.

731
00:45:13.700 --> 00:45:17.960
So that's why when you ladies get into the whole dating,

732
00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:22.960
it's important to connect with Holy Spirit

733
00:45:23.560 --> 00:45:26.300
and see what he's wanting to reveal to you

734
00:45:26.300 --> 00:45:28.700
and what opportunities he's using

735
00:45:28.700 --> 00:45:30.880
in every dating experience.

736
00:45:30.880 --> 00:45:33.800
So Julia, I think it was a blessing

737
00:45:33.800 --> 00:45:36.880
that you got to experience this jerk

738
00:45:36.880 --> 00:45:41.880
because it's showing you how much healing you've done

739
00:45:43.120 --> 00:45:45.440
and you're setting, you're putting roots down

740
00:45:45.440 --> 00:45:48.920
of what am I gonna accept and what am I not gonna accept?

741
00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:51.160
And now you get to walk into,

742
00:45:51.160 --> 00:45:55.760
here's how I'm gonna set better boundaries moving forward.

743
00:45:55.820 --> 00:45:58.760
Ladies, you're not gonna do this dating thing perfect.

744
00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:01.060
I didn't do the dating thing perfect.

745
00:46:01.060 --> 00:46:03.260
Me and my husband didn't do the dating thing perfect

746
00:46:03.260 --> 00:46:04.940
after I even had been in heart work.

747
00:46:04.940 --> 00:46:06.500
I still didn't do it perfectly.

748
00:46:08.640 --> 00:46:10.440
But it's the process,

749
00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:11.800
it's making sure that we're partnering.

750
00:46:11.800 --> 00:46:15.180
So I think it was a blessing that you met this jerk

751
00:46:15.180 --> 00:46:19.500
because now you're realizing you're not gonna accept that.

752
00:46:21.020 --> 00:46:22.340
And you get to put up boundaries

753
00:46:22.340 --> 00:46:24.340
and you know if you have to come across

754
00:46:24.340 --> 00:46:25.720
someone like that again,

755
00:46:25.720 --> 00:46:30.720
I believe you're gonna end that call immediately.

756
00:46:35.040 --> 00:46:37.840
Yeah, absolutely.

757
00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:39.520
Well, thanks for letting me share.

758
00:46:39.520 --> 00:46:42.240
I do have other questions, but you can go ahead.

759
00:46:42.240 --> 00:46:44.880
We can circle back around, absolutely.

760
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:46.680
All right, Leanne, how are you?

761
00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:52.120
Oh, there we go.

762
00:46:52.120 --> 00:46:53.320
Now I got you.

763
00:46:53.340 --> 00:46:54.380
I'm doing great.

764
00:46:54.380 --> 00:46:55.460
Apologize how I look.

765
00:46:55.460 --> 00:46:57.260
I just had an overnight flight.

766
00:46:57.260 --> 00:46:58.100
We're all girls here.

767
00:46:58.100 --> 00:46:58.940
It's totally fine.

768
00:46:59.940 --> 00:47:04.300
Celebrated my mom's 75th birthday back in Pennsylvania.

769
00:47:04.300 --> 00:47:05.860
Oh, exciting.

770
00:47:05.860 --> 00:47:08.500
So dating's kind of a tricky thing for me

771
00:47:08.500 --> 00:47:09.540
because I'm a travel nurse.

772
00:47:09.540 --> 00:47:12.540
So I'm usually only in a spot for 13 weeks,

773
00:47:12.540 --> 00:47:14.160
maybe more if I extend.

774
00:47:16.180 --> 00:47:18.620
Thank you for the advice on the one guy

775
00:47:19.600 --> 00:47:24.600
who after two dates wanted to become serious.

776
00:47:25.320 --> 00:47:27.160
And then when I said, I'm not ready for that,

777
00:47:27.160 --> 00:47:29.320
he asked if he could kiss me the next date.

778
00:47:30.440 --> 00:47:33.560
Yeah, he's kind of like pushing on those boundaries, right?

779
00:47:33.560 --> 00:47:37.920
Yes, so I did say to him that those are things

780
00:47:37.920 --> 00:47:40.640
that are reserved when I get to the point

781
00:47:40.640 --> 00:47:42.620
that I wanna be serious with somebody

782
00:47:42.620 --> 00:47:46.080
that right now I just wanna get to know the different people

783
00:47:46.080 --> 00:47:49.780
that was followed by, I'm okay with that.

784
00:47:49.780 --> 00:47:51.620
But while I was home,

785
00:47:51.620 --> 00:47:54.380
which he knew I was home for my mom's birthday

786
00:47:54.380 --> 00:47:57.160
and seeing my kids who I haven't seen for a while,

787
00:47:58.160 --> 00:48:02.460
there were lots of texts like, how's everything going?

788
00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:05.500
Please send me pictures, those types of things.

789
00:48:05.500 --> 00:48:08.100
And I just, again, reminded him that those are things

790
00:48:09.580 --> 00:48:12.780
that I don't wanna do until I'm in a serious relationship.

791
00:48:12.780 --> 00:48:13.620
So.

792
00:48:15.920 --> 00:48:20.720
He sounds like he may have some anxious attachment himself.

793
00:48:20.720 --> 00:48:22.280
He might not be a bad guy,

794
00:48:22.280 --> 00:48:24.600
he just might be going through some of his own stuff

795
00:48:24.600 --> 00:48:26.280
that maybe he hasn't healed from.

796
00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:28.740
Right, and I don't feel like he's a bad guy,

797
00:48:29.640 --> 00:48:31.800
but after being on a couple of dates with him

798
00:48:31.800 --> 00:48:35.120
and stuff like that, I know he's not my guy.

799
00:48:35.120 --> 00:48:35.960
Yeah.

800
00:48:36.960 --> 00:48:40.040
And that I don't have an anxious feeling

801
00:48:40.060 --> 00:48:42.740
about not disappointing people,

802
00:48:42.740 --> 00:48:45.940
which is something that I've worked with a lot

803
00:48:45.940 --> 00:48:47.060
through heart work.

804
00:48:47.060 --> 00:48:48.660
And it was nice, because over the weekend,

805
00:48:48.660 --> 00:48:51.540
there were certain things that happened with family

806
00:48:51.540 --> 00:48:55.900
that would trigger that and I'd spiral downward that didn't.

807
00:48:55.900 --> 00:49:00.100
I was able to stay home and see the growth there,

808
00:49:00.100 --> 00:49:04.540
but I'm still not sure how to end things

809
00:49:07.340 --> 00:49:08.260
kind of in a nice way,

810
00:49:08.280 --> 00:49:12.000
because I would usually just go along until they stopped.

811
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:14.600
So I think the best way,

812
00:49:14.600 --> 00:49:19.160
I always say being clear is being kind,

813
00:49:19.160 --> 00:49:21.360
and you can be very simple.

814
00:49:21.360 --> 00:49:25.520
Like, if you're just direct and clear, it's kind.

815
00:49:25.520 --> 00:49:29.200
So if this guy reaches back out and says,

816
00:49:29.200 --> 00:49:30.320
hey, how's it going?

817
00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:31.640
How are you doing?

818
00:49:31.640 --> 00:49:34.260
Whatever, and just be like, hey, I'm really doing great.

819
00:49:34.260 --> 00:49:35.800
I'm gonna be honest with you.

820
00:49:35.820 --> 00:49:38.420
I don't see this going anywhere romantically,

821
00:49:38.420 --> 00:49:40.500
so I don't wanna keep prolonging this.

822
00:49:40.500 --> 00:49:42.980
I do wanna wish you the best in your dating journey.

823
00:49:42.980 --> 00:49:44.220
I hope you understand.

824
00:49:46.540 --> 00:49:47.500
You're being clear

825
00:49:47.500 --> 00:49:50.660
that you don't see it going anywhere romantically,

826
00:49:50.660 --> 00:49:51.500
and you don't.

827
00:49:52.620 --> 00:49:53.540
I'm guessing you've given,

828
00:49:53.540 --> 00:49:54.700
it sounds like you've given this guy

829
00:49:54.700 --> 00:49:56.100
at least two or three dates.

830
00:49:57.260 --> 00:49:59.460
You've done that.

831
00:49:59.460 --> 00:50:00.460
You spent some time.

832
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.600
I'm around him, you're still not feeling it, which is fine.

833
00:50:04.600 --> 00:50:07.080
And you can say, okay, I'm gonna release this.

834
00:50:07.080 --> 00:50:07.900
All right?

835
00:50:09.720 --> 00:50:10.760
Just be clear.

836
00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:14.080
Yeah, be clear and kind.

837
00:50:14.080 --> 00:50:16.000
As far as the travel nurse stuff goes,

838
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:19.300
are you, I'm guessing you're open to long distance.

839
00:50:20.880 --> 00:50:23.560
So yeah, go ahead and set those parameters open.

840
00:50:23.560 --> 00:50:24.400
You never know.

841
00:50:24.400 --> 00:50:27.320
We actually, when I was in the program,

842
00:50:27.320 --> 00:50:29.480
one of the girls that I was friends with,

843
00:50:30.720 --> 00:50:35.520
she lived in Atlanta, Georgia.

844
00:50:36.520 --> 00:50:38.480
And she was a travel nurse.

845
00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:41.500
She traveled up to like Fargo, North Dakota.

846
00:50:42.680 --> 00:50:47.680
And she was on apps and she met her husband.

847
00:50:48.960 --> 00:50:52.040
Then she got placed somewhere in Missouri,

848
00:50:52.040 --> 00:50:53.600
which is where he was at.

849
00:50:54.640 --> 00:50:57.020
And then now they're married.

850
00:50:57.020 --> 00:51:01.180
She's actually the one that saw my husband's profile

851
00:51:02.380 --> 00:51:03.620
and shot him a message.

852
00:51:03.620 --> 00:51:05.860
I have a friend for you to meet.

853
00:51:06.980 --> 00:51:10.220
So travel nurses can find love too.

854
00:51:12.220 --> 00:51:14.820
I'm the friends with one and she was in this program

855
00:51:14.820 --> 00:51:15.900
and she was a travel nurse.

856
00:51:15.900 --> 00:51:18.180
So as long as you're open to long distance

857
00:51:18.180 --> 00:51:20.940
and getting what that looks like

858
00:51:20.940 --> 00:51:24.620
and just letting people know I'm a travel nurse,

859
00:51:24.620 --> 00:51:28.820
long distance is probably gonna happen.

860
00:51:30.140 --> 00:51:32.380
But then once you get to know somebody,

861
00:51:32.380 --> 00:51:34.300
then you can probably end up figuring out

862
00:51:34.300 --> 00:51:36.360
how to set roots down at some point.

863
00:51:37.780 --> 00:51:40.580
But yeah, be clear and kind with that other guy

864
00:51:40.580 --> 00:51:44.460
and just be encouraged that yes,

865
00:51:44.460 --> 00:51:45.940
it might get a little challenging,

866
00:51:45.940 --> 00:51:49.460
but this is the cool thing about our technology nowadays

867
00:51:49.460 --> 00:51:52.400
is that there's FaceTime and video calls.

868
00:51:53.240 --> 00:51:55.000
20 years ago, we didn't have that.

869
00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:59.880
It's much more difficult where you'd have to do phone calls,

870
00:51:59.880 --> 00:52:01.080
but at least you can do video calls.

871
00:52:01.080 --> 00:52:04.440
I know, and I know I'm going off on a tangent,

872
00:52:04.440 --> 00:52:05.760
but I do think this is gonna be helpful

873
00:52:05.760 --> 00:52:08.080
for ladies that are dating long distance.

874
00:52:08.080 --> 00:52:10.560
We have so many women in this program

875
00:52:10.560 --> 00:52:13.400
that got really creative with their dates

876
00:52:13.400 --> 00:52:17.160
with long distance, where they set up video calls

877
00:52:17.160 --> 00:52:19.920
and had dinner dates.

878
00:52:19.960 --> 00:52:23.680
They make dinner together on a video call.

879
00:52:23.680 --> 00:52:26.440
They would plan with the guy they were dating,

880
00:52:26.440 --> 00:52:29.120
hey, let's make spaghetti, go get this ingredients,

881
00:52:29.120 --> 00:52:31.380
and we'll make it together on video.

882
00:52:31.380 --> 00:52:33.480
I'll be in my kitchen, you're in your kitchen.

883
00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:36.120
They'd sit down, they'd have a meal together

884
00:52:36.120 --> 00:52:38.040
and talk over a meal.

885
00:52:38.040 --> 00:52:39.680
They would do movies.

886
00:52:39.680 --> 00:52:44.680
You video and you can screen share movies and stuff.

887
00:52:44.920 --> 00:52:47.240
And so the two people could be watching a movie

888
00:52:47.240 --> 00:52:48.280
at the same time.

889
00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:52.160
And so there's ways of being creative with that,

890
00:52:54.120 --> 00:52:55.040
all sorts of stuff.

891
00:52:55.040 --> 00:52:57.840
So that's the cool thing nowadays

892
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:00.360
is we can get really creative with video.

893
00:53:02.040 --> 00:53:03.160
Awesome, thank you.

894
00:53:03.160 --> 00:53:04.320
You are welcome.

895
00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:07.360
All right, Juanita, how are you?

896
00:53:07.360 --> 00:53:09.360
Good to see you again.

897
00:53:09.360 --> 00:53:12.120
Hello, yes, you were on vacation,

898
00:53:12.120 --> 00:53:14.840
and then last week there were a lot of customers,

899
00:53:14.840 --> 00:53:16.440
so I couldn't come on.

900
00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:21.920
But because you wanted all of us to ask a question,

901
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:23.640
I'm sitting here going, okay,

902
00:53:23.640 --> 00:53:25.720
what kind of question am I gonna ask you?

903
00:53:28.200 --> 00:53:30.300
So anyway, so let's see.

904
00:53:31.680 --> 00:53:34.520
I got a, so I'm not dating.

905
00:53:34.520 --> 00:53:37.000
I got, somebody took pictures of me.

906
00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:42.000
I have my profile almost totally situated.

907
00:53:44.640 --> 00:53:45.480
Good.

908
00:53:46.680 --> 00:53:51.160
And I am in a way wanting to get a new job.

909
00:53:51.160 --> 00:53:54.600
And so last night, a job in Utah,

910
00:53:54.600 --> 00:53:57.120
I live in California, but a job in Utah

911
00:53:57.120 --> 00:54:02.120
teaching stained glass at a really huge facility.

912
00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:05.320
I mean, it was just perfect right up my alley.

913
00:54:05.320 --> 00:54:10.320
And I went into fear mode about moving to Utah,

914
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:12.480
not knowing anybody.

915
00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:14.480
I already don't know anybody here,

916
00:54:14.480 --> 00:54:17.720
but I've gotten familiar and comfortable.

917
00:54:17.720 --> 00:54:20.800
And then to move, it's so like the whole thing

918
00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:25.800
just kind of like seem, yeah, dangerous and scary.

919
00:54:27.720 --> 00:54:28.880
But this morning,

920
00:54:28.880 --> 00:54:30.480
cause I had prayed before I went to bed

921
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:34.360
and I was like, oh Lord, what is going on?

922
00:54:34.360 --> 00:54:37.640
So anyway, but this morning I had, I don't know,

923
00:54:37.640 --> 00:54:40.280
maybe it was just a brighter day or something,

924
00:54:41.240 --> 00:54:46.240
but I had more, I was really interested.

925
00:54:47.160 --> 00:54:50.240
And so I think I'm gonna pursue just putting in my app.

926
00:54:50.240 --> 00:54:51.800
I mean, I'm 74 years old.

927
00:54:51.800 --> 00:54:53.360
I don't know if they're gonna want,

928
00:54:53.360 --> 00:54:55.280
but I'm active and I'm healthy.

929
00:54:57.040 --> 00:54:58.640
I don't know who they're looking for.

930
00:54:58.640 --> 00:55:00.080
I think it's just, yeah.

931
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.960
Even just stepping out in faith and putting the application in will be good.

932
00:55:05.520 --> 00:55:10.320
Um, with the fear, have you been able to walk through a little bit of what are

933
00:55:10.360 --> 00:55:16.640
the core thoughts or beliefs that's attaching that fear and really breaking

934
00:55:16.640 --> 00:55:19.560
that down and then replacing it with God's truth?

935
00:55:20.800 --> 00:55:27.680
Um, I guess in an organic kind of way, because last night was all just doom and

936
00:55:27.680 --> 00:55:31.640
gloom, you know, it was just like, how are you going to get there?

937
00:55:31.640 --> 00:55:32.680
How are you, what are you going to do?

938
00:55:32.680 --> 00:55:35.800
You know, you know, financially you don't, you can't even, you know,

939
00:55:35.800 --> 00:55:36.640
where are you going to live?

940
00:55:36.640 --> 00:55:40.560
You can't, you can't, you know, you can't all the unknowns.

941
00:55:40.600 --> 00:55:44.840
You're putting like the cart before the horse, but now the worry in it, when

942
00:55:44.840 --> 00:55:49.400
you're like, okay, I haven't even taken the first step yet, so stepping out in

943
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:53.880
faith and letting God work out all the details.

944
00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:54.280
Yeah.

945
00:55:54.280 --> 00:56:01.640
And so I think what the Holy spirit was working with me this morning in that he

946
00:56:01.640 --> 00:56:08.320
identifies, you're just operating out of fear and fear will keep you from doing

947
00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:09.120
anything.

948
00:56:09.640 --> 00:56:14.680
And so I've walked this journey with stepping into fear.

949
00:56:15.600 --> 00:56:20.920
And I mean, fear coming, setting itself, its parameter around me.

950
00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:25.240
And I'm, and I've had to like break through many times.

951
00:56:25.640 --> 00:56:31.680
And so, so just like, um, I think it was Julia.

952
00:56:31.680 --> 00:56:37.000
She was like saying, when things come at you so suddenly, you kind of don't have

953
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:37.480
an answer.

954
00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:39.640
You kind of like are pushed back.

955
00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:47.160
And that's kind of how I felt last night was like, but Juanita, the job description

956
00:56:47.160 --> 00:56:49.480
is right, perfect for you.

957
00:56:50.160 --> 00:56:55.160
And, um, and the funny part was that I saw it's called clay.

958
00:56:55.280 --> 00:56:58.600
The company's called clay something.

959
00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:05.800
And basically they teach ceramics, but, and, and I saw them on Facebook and I was

960
00:57:05.800 --> 00:57:08.960
watching the guy and he's talking and I thought he was really interesting.

961
00:57:08.960 --> 00:57:12.720
It's just this young man who opened up the studio and I thought he was really

962
00:57:12.720 --> 00:57:13.320
interesting.

963
00:57:13.320 --> 00:57:15.400
And I thought, what a cool thing.

964
00:57:15.400 --> 00:57:16.360
What a cool studio.

965
00:57:17.120 --> 00:57:25.520
So then I get a, cause I put my, um, the resume on indeed for, for apple for job

966
00:57:25.520 --> 00:57:31.400
applications, you get an application in my email saying, Hey, there's a stained

967
00:57:31.400 --> 00:57:36.800
glass shop for the same studio that they're just starting a stained glass

968
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:37.440
studio.

969
00:57:37.440 --> 00:57:40.760
And they're looking for someone who knows how to set up a stained glass studio.

970
00:57:41.480 --> 00:57:46.400
And I'm like, but I went into fear mode.

971
00:57:47.080 --> 00:57:51.040
And, um, so anyway, so today I'm not in fear mode.

972
00:57:51.880 --> 00:57:52.760
Okay, good.

973
00:57:53.120 --> 00:57:53.400
Yeah.

974
00:57:53.520 --> 00:57:56.240
So you're going to put that application in and you're going to keep us up to

975
00:57:56.240 --> 00:57:57.800
date with what's going on with that.

976
00:57:57.960 --> 00:57:59.600
I I'm excited for you.

977
00:57:59.600 --> 00:58:01.240
I think that's really awesome.

978
00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:04.720
Um, it sounds very like divine appointment.

979
00:58:05.640 --> 00:58:06.080
Yeah.

980
00:58:06.080 --> 00:58:08.320
And I was trying to push that off.

981
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:19.080
Like, no, but anyways, like even like just exploring the possibility, right.

982
00:58:19.080 --> 00:58:20.680
Put the application out there.

983
00:58:20.960 --> 00:58:21.440
Who knows?

984
00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:23.760
Maybe you get to make a little trip.

985
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:25.120
Who knows what's going to happen?

986
00:58:25.120 --> 00:58:30.040
You know, like go take a trip out there, see what it's all about.

987
00:58:30.080 --> 00:58:33.400
Enjoy yourself, relax, take it in.

988
00:58:33.840 --> 00:58:35.360
You don't have to decide.

989
00:58:35.520 --> 00:58:38.360
And if they offer to offer you a job, you don't have to even

990
00:58:38.360 --> 00:58:39.240
decide right then and there.

991
00:58:39.240 --> 00:58:42.720
You can go investigate first.

992
00:58:43.040 --> 00:58:44.080
See how you like it.

993
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:47.280
Go pray while you're there and go from there.

994
00:58:47.720 --> 00:58:53.080
But it sounds it's it's I'm glad to hear that you woke up in a different spirit

995
00:58:53.080 --> 00:58:57.720
today and that you're, you're motivated to go ahead and put that application in.

996
00:58:57.760 --> 00:58:59.640
I'm, I'm excited to hear what comes of it.

997
00:59:00.400 --> 00:59:06.200
So on my profile, because I'm like really ready to like go on the dating apps.

998
00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:10.440
So on my profile, you know, the, the, the opening.

999
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:15.800
So if I'm looking to get a job and it might take me into, into

1000
00:59:15.800 --> 00:59:17.120
another state or whatever.

1001
00:59:17.120 --> 00:59:20.960
So how do I present myself as to where I live?

1002
00:59:21.520 --> 00:59:24.120
Um, I don't, I don't think you have to really share a whole

1003
00:59:24.120 --> 00:59:25.960
lot about that right off the bat.

1004
00:59:25.960 --> 00:59:28.640
I mean, you can say I'm currently here.

1005
00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:33.840
I'm open to relocating with whatever, wherever God takes me.

1006
00:59:35.120 --> 00:59:36.120
Cause who knows?

1007
00:59:36.120 --> 00:59:38.920
I mean, if you're putting that out in the open, then maybe someone

1008
00:59:38.920 --> 00:59:40.960
else is also open to relocate.

1009
00:59:40.960 --> 00:59:42.080
You, you just never know.

1010
00:59:42.320 --> 00:59:47.120
This is kind of that stuff where you allow God to kind of iron out the details.

1011
00:59:48.120 --> 00:59:48.640
Okay.

1012
00:59:48.840 --> 00:59:49.720
That makes sense.

1013
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:53.800
I think as long as you're saying, okay, I'm currently here open to relocating.

1014
00:59:53.800 --> 00:59:58.800
Then this way, I mean, I'm guessing, are you also open to long distance?

1015
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.400
Um, yeah, I mean, as far as it's in driving, driving distance, you know, like three hours.

1016
01:00:08.400 --> 01:00:18.680
So I mean, you're, I, again, this is where you, you don't want to stop living life just

1017
01:00:18.680 --> 01:00:23.280
because of dating, like, does that, obviously we want you ladies being intentional with

1018
01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:28.320
dating, but it doesn't mean that you stop living your life and stepping into what God

1019
01:00:28.560 --> 01:00:33.440
is asking you to go work through, like, go, go on. Does that make sense?

1020
01:00:33.440 --> 01:00:38.720
Yes. Because that's what I, last night that push pull came is like, well, you're intentional

1021
01:00:38.720 --> 01:00:43.120
about this whole dating thing, but, and then if you're going to go run off and try to get this

1022
01:00:43.120 --> 01:00:50.640
job, it kind of is like, what do you go like? Yeah. And God irons out those details. Like,

1023
01:00:50.640 --> 01:00:57.360
and I am testimony of that. I was so reluctant on moving. And when I let that go,

1024
01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:03.120
God worked out all the details. Like one of the biggest details that I had absolutely

1025
01:01:04.320 --> 01:01:12.960
no control over. I had a son, his dad lived about 45 minutes away from us. He'd see his dad

1026
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:20.560
once every two weeks. And that was a big thing that I'm like, I, I didn't even know how I was

1027
01:01:20.560 --> 01:01:26.320
going to sort that out with dating someone that was long distance, but we weren't even in a

1028
01:01:26.320 --> 01:01:32.720
position to really have those conversations right away because we were still like newly

1029
01:01:32.720 --> 01:01:38.000
getting to know each other. And it just so happened when we decided to be exclusive the

1030
01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:43.200
very next day, my son's dad called me up out of the blue to tell me he was moving out of state.

1031
01:01:45.280 --> 01:01:50.800
I did like talk about God already working out details that I didn't have to do.

1032
01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:56.000
That would have been one of those roadblocks for me where I don't know if I would have gotten

1033
01:01:56.000 --> 01:02:03.680
through. I don't know if I would have pulled the trigger. If there was this looming, like I have to

1034
01:02:03.680 --> 01:02:07.680
deal with my son's father. He's going to be angry that I'm moving out of state. Cause my husband was

1035
01:02:07.680 --> 01:02:12.880
very clear. He wasn't leaving Texas. And I was like, Oh, how's this going to work? Okay. I'm

1036
01:02:12.880 --> 01:02:18.160
open to it. But in the back of my head, I'm like, but my son's dad, what am I going to do with that?

1037
01:02:18.160 --> 01:02:21.280
Now? We didn't have, we don't have, we didn't have a parenting plan. We had nothing through

1038
01:02:21.280 --> 01:02:26.880
the courts. We had never been married. So there was no paternity established, anything like that.

1039
01:02:26.880 --> 01:02:34.480
But like I said, God worked it out. He was not going to let any roadblock get in my way.

1040
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:43.440
He was handling all of that. So I say that to encourage and give you hope and faith that God

1041
01:02:43.440 --> 01:02:50.000
is intentional in writing your love story. He has all of those what ifs already figured out.

1042
01:02:51.680 --> 01:02:54.560
Sweet. And a lot of times you don't have to do anything with it.

1043
01:02:55.760 --> 01:02:59.440
Just works it out. Now there's times we're going to be left with choices. I still had to choose

1044
01:03:00.320 --> 01:03:05.520
to move. I had to still, like, it was a choice I had, we have free will,

1045
01:03:06.800 --> 01:03:13.360
but he's like, I'm going to remove anything that potentially might cloud your judgment.

1046
01:03:13.920 --> 01:03:20.480
And that, that's how, that's how invested and how loving of a God we have and serve,

1047
01:03:21.280 --> 01:03:23.280
especially when it comes to our love stories.

1048
01:03:25.040 --> 01:03:30.240
Yeah, I'm really grateful for this community right this very second. I was just what was

1049
01:03:30.240 --> 01:03:39.040
going through my head was, see, I got such great encouragement and feedback.

1050
01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:44.160
And I thought this question was nonsense, you know, and so thank you.

1051
01:03:45.120 --> 01:03:50.000
Well, thank you. I think this is testimony for you just saying, okay, I didn't even know I was

1052
01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:54.880
needing to ask a question. You stepped out and got vulnerable and share something that you didn't

1053
01:03:54.880 --> 01:03:59.840
even think was going to be a big deal and you got breakthrough. And I guarantee there's probably

1054
01:03:59.840 --> 01:04:05.280
someone either on this call or watching and replay that it's something that they needed to hear as

1055
01:04:05.280 --> 01:04:10.560
well. Like, that's why it's so important, ladies, that you're on these calls, you're sharing,

1056
01:04:11.440 --> 01:04:14.560
and you're in the app and you're sharing what's going on. Because believe it or not, ladies,

1057
01:04:14.560 --> 01:04:22.720
like we, like people, there are people in this program that are wallflowers that go in and read

1058
01:04:22.720 --> 01:04:28.320
y'all's post and read our responses, but they're still, you know, scared and, and, you know,

1059
01:04:28.320 --> 01:04:32.960
unsure of coming out of hiding themselves, but they're getting breakthrough from your questions.

1060
01:04:36.160 --> 01:04:41.840
So I want, I want that to be encouragement for all of you. All right. I got Kim and then Lori

1061
01:04:41.840 --> 01:04:45.520
and then Sandy. And then Julia, I know I'm going to circle back around to you, I believe. And then

1062
01:04:45.520 --> 01:04:49.840
if Lisa, if I have time, I will do that as well. If not, we'll have to leave some things for the

1063
01:04:49.840 --> 01:04:58.800
app. All right, Kim, how are you? I'm doing well. Thanks. Juanita, I was with you that whole way.

1064
01:04:58.800 --> 01:04:59.760
So I'm, I've been

1065
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.160
fear about getting into the dating apps. That's been my fear. And I did kind of a question and

1066
01:05:06.160 --> 01:05:10.400
I feel like Carly, you kind of answered it. I think what I need to do is go find write some

1067
01:05:10.400 --> 01:05:15.920
scriptures to claim God's promises so that because every time I go on Facebook, I've gone all the way

1068
01:05:15.920 --> 01:05:21.600
through on Facebook dating, and I get to the end where I'm ready to hit the button. And I can't do

1069
01:05:21.600 --> 01:05:27.760
it. I just can't do it. And then I, I've done this like three or four times now. And I've been in

1070
01:05:28.560 --> 01:05:35.760
this phase of this program for probably a little, a little over, maybe a little over two months,

1071
01:05:36.880 --> 01:05:43.520
and haven't even had one date. And I don't know, it's just so and then so I was like,

1072
01:05:44.240 --> 01:05:48.240
I knew that I had the fear. And then I was I kept praying about it. But I didn't feel like I was

1073
01:05:48.240 --> 01:05:52.240
getting an answer. And I was just like, I was feeling frustrated because I feel like I felt

1074
01:05:52.240 --> 01:05:56.640
like, well, something's not right either. There's something that needs to be healed to me that's not

1075
01:05:56.640 --> 01:06:00.480
healed. But I said, God, you need to reveal it to me. And I was going through that. Well,

1076
01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:04.960
then when you were saying something a little while ago about surrendering the pen. Yeah.

1077
01:06:07.200 --> 01:06:12.880
It was like, I'm sorry, it was like, that's exactly I that that was what it was because

1078
01:06:12.880 --> 01:06:20.000
I was in church on Sunday. And I think what's happened was I got really comfortable with being

1079
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:24.240
single in my own house. There's I have a lot of peace. I have a lot of joy. I've been feeling

1080
01:06:24.240 --> 01:06:29.040
really good. And I'm like, do I really want to go back out there and start dating and have that

1081
01:06:29.040 --> 01:06:35.040
all come back into my life? Like right now, you're completely doing well. I'm doing you know,

1082
01:06:35.040 --> 01:06:39.920
I feel at peace. I feel close. You know, I am feeling close to God. And I'm like, do I really

1083
01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:47.120
need a man in my life, but I know that I want a partner in my life. So anyway, my voice is kind of

1084
01:06:47.120 --> 01:06:51.920
sore. I was at a baseball game. And I was cheering. My voice is a little messed up today.

1085
01:06:51.920 --> 01:06:58.320
But anyway, I get it. Yeah. So then I anyway, I went to church and the whole sermon was about

1086
01:07:00.080 --> 01:07:02.640
well, the one of the things was discomfort can cause us to be

1087
01:07:03.600 --> 01:07:08.560
discomfort causes us to be God dependent, which allows him to do great things in our life. And

1088
01:07:09.600 --> 01:07:15.120
I was really like I was feeling really comfortable in my singleness and being here at my own home and

1089
01:07:15.120 --> 01:07:20.640
not having that. But then, you know, they were saying God's willing to do anything if you're

1090
01:07:20.640 --> 01:07:25.200
willing to be uncomfortable. And that's just it stepping into the dating makes me very uncomfortable.

1091
01:07:26.160 --> 01:07:32.240
So I was like, Okay, I need to be that God does significant things when we're in discomfort,

1092
01:07:32.240 --> 01:07:37.440
because he, you know, and that we have to surrender to him and be God defended, which I,

1093
01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:45.120
you know, I keep hearing over and over. And I know that that's true. So my hope is that this week,

1094
01:07:45.120 --> 01:07:49.360
I'm going to get on those dating apps, I'm going to at least get on Facebook dating, I'm going to

1095
01:07:49.360 --> 01:07:54.080
do it, I'm going to just keep claiming God's promises, and it's gonna allow me to hit that button

1096
01:07:55.360 --> 01:07:59.360
to start it. I think you're gonna experience a lot of breakthrough when you do.

1097
01:08:00.480 --> 01:08:06.880
This is good. I think this is this is really good release for you. I think you know, you're

1098
01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:12.720
allowing yourself to be vulnerable. And, you know, and I think even Lori's even responding,

1099
01:08:12.720 --> 01:08:16.319
like she can relate. There's so many women in here that actually relate to that.

1100
01:08:16.880 --> 01:08:24.000
Especially, you know, for those of us that have been single for a little a little while, I relate

1101
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:28.479
to that because I was single for over seven years when I joined this program. And I got comfortable

1102
01:08:28.479 --> 01:08:35.439
with it. And so and but God spoke to me same way that he's speaking to all of you and you brought

1103
01:08:35.439 --> 01:08:41.520
up and I say this frequently, you know, God just resonated with me. And it's so funny. I remember

1104
01:08:42.399 --> 01:08:47.040
I was at a new church and I was praying and worshiping and God spoke this very clearly to me.

1105
01:08:47.680 --> 01:08:55.120
And I didn't even realize that what he said is would carry through what I'm doing now with all

1106
01:08:55.120 --> 01:09:03.120
of you women. And it was get comfortable being uncomfortable. And that's like you hear that and

1107
01:09:03.120 --> 01:09:09.279
it's not what you want to hear from God. But there was like a piece that surpasses all understanding

1108
01:09:09.279 --> 01:09:16.240
when he said it. That this is a time ladies where it's going to get uncomfortable,

1109
01:09:16.240 --> 01:09:19.920
but get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Because just like Kim said,

1110
01:09:21.760 --> 01:09:28.319
it's in that discomfort that we really actually lean on him more. And that's really what he's

1111
01:09:28.319 --> 01:09:34.720
desiring. When we lean into him, that's where the full healing really can come about. And

1112
01:09:35.120 --> 01:09:44.880
I would encourage you, Kim, like in this process, start journaling or praying or maybe, yeah,

1113
01:09:44.880 --> 01:09:53.439
I don't know if you're a journaler, but write down what are the fears about letting someone

1114
01:09:53.439 --> 01:09:59.520
in your home, letting someone in your world, what thoughts and fears are surfacing? What

1115
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.360
about it and start seeing what gets revealed there because there's gonna be

1116
01:10:06.360 --> 01:10:14.600
healing in that. I was the same way, the thought of having to trust someone

1117
01:10:14.600 --> 01:10:22.200
was really scary because my experience in a relationship was that I couldn't

1118
01:10:22.200 --> 01:10:28.600
trust anybody. There was every single person I was in a relationship at some

1119
01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:35.800
point let me down and they let me down because something that I felt like I did

1120
01:10:35.800 --> 01:10:40.660
and so there was healing that needed to take place and I'm even now in marriage

1121
01:10:40.660 --> 01:10:44.640
and realizing there's deeper healing that needs to go with that lie and fear

1122
01:10:44.640 --> 01:10:52.160
that I had and so it's just gonna take you to that next level. That's why I love

1123
01:10:52.160 --> 01:10:55.640
that you know we've been talking a little bit more about heart work in this

1124
01:10:55.640 --> 01:11:01.240
session because it does show up in the dating so I want you to spend time pray

1125
01:11:01.240 --> 01:11:07.600
meditate you know what what are the what are the anxious thoughts and feelings

1126
01:11:07.600 --> 01:11:14.960
where the core beliefs to the fear about being open to dating again what does

1127
01:11:14.960 --> 01:11:21.360
that look like what what what's fearful about it and then there you can start

1128
01:11:21.360 --> 01:11:28.080
breaking down those lies by putting God's truth in it. Okay I appreciate it

1129
01:11:28.080 --> 01:11:32.120
like all of this brought the answer you know even clearer today so I really do

1130
01:11:32.120 --> 01:11:36.240
appreciate it. I love it I love it see I love it we get so much breakthrough when

1131
01:11:36.240 --> 01:11:45.080
we come here we share we get vulnerable like it's good. All right Lori.

1132
01:11:45.080 --> 01:11:55.160
All right so I had I had put up a profile on Arc and like nothing like I

1133
01:11:55.160 --> 01:12:04.600
was like it are my peers bad or like it's still a new it's still a new app so

1134
01:12:04.600 --> 01:12:09.560
that's possible okay don't don't be discouraged with that it's still fairly

1135
01:12:09.560 --> 01:12:14.760
new because it's and so you're not gonna have as many people on it when it's

1136
01:12:14.760 --> 01:12:21.040
fairly new but just but like there was a guy actually in my area I was

1137
01:12:21.040 --> 01:12:27.240
surprised but so I like sent a note but then didn't hear anything back but also

1138
01:12:27.240 --> 01:12:33.440
I'm not I wasn't gonna pay like yeah I was gonna wait and see if something

1139
01:12:33.440 --> 01:12:38.880
happened before I paid you know so I was encouraged do some of the free ones

1140
01:12:38.880 --> 01:12:46.200
first and get like a feel for them and then and then see so then I did a

1141
01:12:46.200 --> 01:12:53.720
Facebook app just did the Facebook one and so I've got I actually have a

1142
01:12:53.720 --> 01:13:00.320
couple conversations started so one one conversation the guy lives really close

1143
01:13:00.320 --> 01:13:07.160
like really close right next town a couple couple towns over and I don't

1144
01:13:07.160 --> 01:13:11.880
know if he's a Christian or not but and I don't know if he'll even want to meet

1145
01:13:11.880 --> 01:13:20.160
me or anything it's just like texting right now but on his on his on his thing

1146
01:13:20.160 --> 01:13:26.040
one of his things about dating is how do you like to date or whatever he's like

1147
01:13:26.040 --> 01:13:31.520
one at a time so I was like and I know for us it's kind of like we're in

1148
01:13:31.520 --> 01:13:37.140
discovery and like we don't go exclusive or anything at the beginning so like how

1149
01:13:37.140 --> 01:13:43.180
would I even if it even ends up being well a couple things I do want to

1150
01:13:43.180 --> 01:13:47.500
encourage you to drop the hanky I don't want you to stay texting and messaging a

1151
01:13:47.500 --> 01:13:51.900
whole bunch don't do it past a week if it's been a week I want to encourage you

1152
01:13:51.900 --> 01:13:57.500
to throw out the why don't we meet in person let's get together okay I know

1153
01:13:57.500 --> 01:14:04.420
that can sound scary but you definitely want real-life dates and then you can

1154
01:14:04.420 --> 01:14:10.180
learn a little bit more about him we coach for you all not to throw all your

1155
01:14:10.180 --> 01:14:14.860
eggs in one basket and there's a lot of reasons that we do that is because women

1156
01:14:14.860 --> 01:14:20.580
we can get very emotionally attached we put all our eggs in one basket and then

1157
01:14:20.580 --> 01:14:24.660
if it doesn't work out then we get super disappointed and discouraged and so we

1158
01:14:24.660 --> 01:14:29.460
want to take the pressure off the whole dating experience and saying okay I'm

1159
01:14:29.460 --> 01:14:34.980
gonna take this one person and I'm seeing if he's husband material like we

1160
01:14:34.980 --> 01:14:41.940
just want you practicing the light easy get to know you do I enjoy being around

1161
01:14:41.940 --> 01:14:47.780
this person and so we're open to the fact that we don't have to force it all

1162
01:14:47.780 --> 01:14:53.340
on one person and we've got a couple conversations going or open to still

1163
01:14:53.340 --> 01:14:57.860
getting to know people so then that way if it kind of doesn't fall if it falls

1164
01:14:57.860 --> 01:15:01.940
through after like oh it's it's going great

1165
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.340
for two or three days and then all of a sudden

1166
01:15:02.340 --> 01:15:04.460
you don't hear from them as frequently,

1167
01:15:04.460 --> 01:15:09.460
you're not so hung up on the ghosting.

1168
01:15:11.700 --> 01:15:13.460
I told you before you left.

1169
01:15:13.460 --> 01:15:15.540
But you are...

1170
01:15:16.500 --> 01:15:18.420
If he's drooling, he needs to eat.

1171
01:15:18.420 --> 01:15:22.860
Open to, there might be a possibility of somebody else.

1172
01:15:22.860 --> 01:15:24.860
Like, you see, like there's just a flow.

1173
01:15:24.860 --> 01:15:28.100
There's a better flow of that if you're not doing it,

1174
01:15:28.160 --> 01:15:30.200
you know, all on one person.

1175
01:15:30.200 --> 01:15:32.360
Just because we coach that here doesn't mean

1176
01:15:32.360 --> 01:15:37.120
that men are gonna sign up for that same philosophy, okay?

1177
01:15:37.120 --> 01:15:41.160
Remember, the men that you're meeting on these apps

1178
01:15:41.160 --> 01:15:45.880
probably are not even aware of Jackie and her program.

1179
01:15:45.880 --> 01:15:50.480
So, and we've gotten into a world where

1180
01:15:50.480 --> 01:15:53.080
dating more than one person is considered bad

1181
01:15:53.080 --> 01:15:54.880
because they're cheaters or players.

1182
01:15:54.900 --> 01:15:57.860
Well, that's only happening if you're

1183
01:15:57.860 --> 01:16:00.140
laying in bed with those people

1184
01:16:00.140 --> 01:16:02.560
and slopping saliva with them.

1185
01:16:02.560 --> 01:16:03.820
Like, that's when it's like,

1186
01:16:03.820 --> 01:16:07.580
but if you're not doing that, which is why we encourage

1187
01:16:07.580 --> 01:16:11.420
you're not having physical romantic contact with somebody

1188
01:16:11.420 --> 01:16:14.680
in these, you know, people that you're dating,

1189
01:16:14.680 --> 01:16:16.980
then you're not tied to anybody.

1190
01:16:16.980 --> 01:16:19.020
But just because we believe that

1191
01:16:19.020 --> 01:16:21.560
doesn't necessarily mean other guys

1192
01:16:21.560 --> 01:16:22.740
that you're dating are on that.

1193
01:16:22.740 --> 01:16:24.920
So here's the thing, if it works for him

1194
01:16:24.920 --> 01:16:27.860
to only focus on one person at a time,

1195
01:16:27.860 --> 01:16:30.320
that's his boundary that he set for himself.

1196
01:16:30.320 --> 01:16:33.380
But you're not obligated to come on board

1197
01:16:33.380 --> 01:16:37.440
and do what he does, all right?

1198
01:16:37.440 --> 01:16:38.820
Does that help?

1199
01:16:38.820 --> 01:16:41.600
So you don't even, if he asks you like,

1200
01:16:41.600 --> 01:16:42.880
hey, are you dating other people?

1201
01:16:42.880 --> 01:16:44.200
You'd be like, well, I'm on the app.

1202
01:16:44.200 --> 01:16:47.740
I'm using this opportunity to get to know other people.

1203
01:16:49.020 --> 01:16:49.860
Okay.

1204
01:16:49.860 --> 01:16:50.680
And then if they're like,

1205
01:16:50.680 --> 01:16:52.720
well, I wanna be in an exclusive relationship with you,

1206
01:16:53.560 --> 01:16:54.400
because guys will do that too,

1207
01:16:54.400 --> 01:16:57.020
especially I find that happens a lot of time with older men,

1208
01:16:57.020 --> 01:17:00.300
is they're just ready to be in an exclusive relationship.

1209
01:17:00.300 --> 01:17:02.860
So maybe even after one date, or I mean,

1210
01:17:02.860 --> 01:17:06.180
I've had women share, like they haven't even met in person

1211
01:17:06.180 --> 01:17:08.740
and the guy wants to know if they want to be exclusive.

1212
01:17:08.740 --> 01:17:10.660
And it's like, I haven't even met you in person.

1213
01:17:10.660 --> 01:17:12.220
How is that even a thing?

1214
01:17:13.100 --> 01:17:16.420
So I do see that tends to happen with older men,

1215
01:17:16.420 --> 01:17:20.020
like especially if they'd been married before

1216
01:17:20.020 --> 01:17:21.180
or they're widowed,

1217
01:17:21.180 --> 01:17:23.040
like they just want a companion.

1218
01:17:23.040 --> 01:17:26.000
They don't wanna do all of the dating

1219
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:28.000
and dating sites and stuff like that.

1220
01:17:28.000 --> 01:17:31.160
So, but just because they throw that out there,

1221
01:17:31.160 --> 01:17:33.520
you get to decide what works for you

1222
01:17:33.520 --> 01:17:35.360
and you get to take it at the pace

1223
01:17:35.360 --> 01:17:36.960
that you're comfortable with.

1224
01:17:36.960 --> 01:17:41.760
And any masculine man is going to honor your boundaries.

1225
01:17:43.200 --> 01:17:44.260
Right.

1226
01:17:44.260 --> 01:17:45.100
Okay.

1227
01:17:46.760 --> 01:17:48.200
Yeah.

1228
01:17:48.200 --> 01:17:49.400
Awesome.

1229
01:17:49.700 --> 01:17:52.280
I have another question, but I'll put it in the chat.

1230
01:17:52.280 --> 01:17:53.120
Okay. Yeah.

1231
01:17:53.120 --> 01:17:54.620
Let's put it in the chat.

1232
01:17:54.620 --> 01:17:56.560
Yeah. Ladies that had second questions,

1233
01:17:56.560 --> 01:17:57.840
I'm probably not gonna get to you.

1234
01:17:57.840 --> 01:17:59.600
So if you put it in the chat real quick,

1235
01:17:59.600 --> 01:18:02.100
I can try to answer it before we jump off.

1236
01:18:02.100 --> 01:18:04.500
And then I have Sandy and Sandy,

1237
01:18:04.500 --> 01:18:06.060
and I think you posted something

1238
01:18:06.060 --> 01:18:07.700
and I have not gotten to your response.

1239
01:18:07.700 --> 01:18:09.220
Is that what you're asking about?

1240
01:18:09.220 --> 01:18:10.060
Kind of.

1241
01:18:10.060 --> 01:18:12.900
So I wanted to know, I know I posted about it,

1242
01:18:14.620 --> 01:18:16.980
but it's a little bit on that kind of,

1243
01:18:16.980 --> 01:18:17.900
did you read it?

1244
01:18:17.900 --> 01:18:19.020
Do you remember?

1245
01:18:19.520 --> 01:18:20.360
I don't remember it.

1246
01:18:20.360 --> 01:18:22.920
I can pull it up right now so that you don't have to.

1247
01:18:23.920 --> 01:18:25.640
It was about that dream.

1248
01:18:25.640 --> 01:18:28.080
And then I told my friend and she was like,

1249
01:18:28.080 --> 01:18:29.840
I think he's just a distraction.

1250
01:18:29.840 --> 01:18:31.560
And I'm like struggling with that

1251
01:18:31.560 --> 01:18:33.360
because of what we talked about last week.

1252
01:18:33.360 --> 01:18:34.400
Remember?

1253
01:18:34.400 --> 01:18:35.240
Okay.

1254
01:18:39.480 --> 01:18:40.600
Dream interpretations.

1255
01:18:40.600 --> 01:18:41.420
Okay. Sorry.

1256
01:18:41.420 --> 01:18:43.200
I was trying to read a little bit

1257
01:18:43.200 --> 01:18:45.400
and listen to you at the same time and I'm not.

1258
01:18:45.400 --> 01:18:46.800
I can just say it super fast.

1259
01:18:46.800 --> 01:18:48.480
Do you want me to say it super fast?

1260
01:18:48.500 --> 01:18:50.620
So the dream interpretation,

1261
01:18:50.620 --> 01:18:55.020
those are things that I encourage you ladies

1262
01:18:55.020 --> 01:18:56.140
to kind of go to the Lord

1263
01:18:56.140 --> 01:18:58.580
with asking for dream interpretations.

1264
01:18:58.580 --> 01:19:02.020
Bethany is a little bit more prophetically in tune

1265
01:19:02.020 --> 01:19:03.520
to giving dream interpretations,

1266
01:19:03.520 --> 01:19:05.740
but she's not always able to do it.

1267
01:19:07.260 --> 01:19:09.340
I will respond to that,

1268
01:19:09.340 --> 01:19:12.080
but then let's kind of dive in a little bit more

1269
01:19:12.080 --> 01:19:17.080
as far as how this is involving what your friend said.

1270
01:19:17.900 --> 01:19:18.740
Yeah.

1271
01:19:18.740 --> 01:19:21.540
So I feel like I'm in a place right now

1272
01:19:21.540 --> 01:19:23.620
where I'm really trying to do the healing

1273
01:19:23.620 --> 01:19:25.420
of like what you said last week.

1274
01:19:25.420 --> 01:19:29.460
So I've noticed this week that the theme

1275
01:19:29.460 --> 01:19:30.820
of like what's been highlighted

1276
01:19:30.820 --> 01:19:32.460
based off what we talked about last week

1277
01:19:32.460 --> 01:19:37.020
is that I feel like I messed up a lot in my past.

1278
01:19:37.020 --> 01:19:40.700
And so I'm like almost so afraid of like messing up again.

1279
01:19:40.700 --> 01:19:41.620
Like I feel like, oh,

1280
01:19:41.620 --> 01:19:44.380
I've got no more time left to mess up anymore.

1281
01:19:44.380 --> 01:19:46.540
Like I literally have to get it together

1282
01:19:46.600 --> 01:19:47.640
and just do what God wants,

1283
01:19:47.640 --> 01:19:52.120
but it's causing like this almost anxiety

1284
01:19:52.120 --> 01:19:54.520
to not want to like move forward with anything.

1285
01:19:54.520 --> 01:19:55.400
Cause I'm like, I don't know,

1286
01:19:55.400 --> 01:19:57.400
I need like almost like I'm wanting God

1287
01:19:57.400 --> 01:19:59.760
to give me step-by-step play-by-play instructions,

1288
01:19:59.760 --> 01:20:00.600
which is.

1289
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.320
probably kind of crazy. Um, and I, and when I pray about it, I feel like I'm just getting like

1290
01:20:07.280 --> 01:20:13.280
where he's wanting me to relax and chill out. And I understand that. Um, so with this guy at church,

1291
01:20:13.840 --> 01:20:20.400
um, he's made an effort to come talk to me on multiple occasions where I'm like serving,

1292
01:20:20.400 --> 01:20:25.840
I'm doing whatever I'm doing. And he makes his way over to find me to talk to me. And then after,

1293
01:20:25.840 --> 01:20:29.440
if I get pulled away or something, then he just leaves like at the end of service, like he doesn't

1294
01:20:29.440 --> 01:20:34.800
talk to anybody else talks to me. So I was like, okay, I think there might be interest. Okay. I'm

1295
01:20:34.800 --> 01:20:40.480
not sure. I'm kind of like, I feel like dating blind where I can't tell if it's done because

1296
01:20:40.480 --> 01:20:44.640
it's been like, I don't know, seven and a half, eight years that I've been single. So I don't know

1297
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:50.560
like the social, is he just friendly at church or does he like me? I had like, there was VBS last

1298
01:20:50.560 --> 01:20:58.560
week. So that's why I lost my voice. Cause I was later at VBS glitter on my arm. I had glitter on

1299
01:20:58.560 --> 01:21:03.040
my arms. Cause I was like helping the kids get all rallying. I had all this glitter and he came

1300
01:21:03.040 --> 01:21:07.360
up to me and was like, Oh, I like the glitter on your arms. I gave him a glow stick. It sounds so

1301
01:21:07.360 --> 01:21:11.600
high school, but we were around high school kids. So I feel like I was going to say, I think he's

1302
01:21:11.600 --> 01:21:16.400
probably interested in you. He's just not sure if you're interested in him. So I would say,

1303
01:21:16.400 --> 01:21:22.240
go drop the hanky and go say, Hey, let's get together. I gave him a glow stick. That was me

1304
01:21:22.240 --> 01:21:29.360
dropping the hanky. I don't know. Yes, but okay. Andy, I'm going to be, I won't be real with you.

1305
01:21:29.360 --> 01:21:36.400
Sometimes men just don't get it. Okay. So the first, the first, he was there on Thursday.

1306
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:42.880
He talked to me, we were blushing like kids. And then I got pulled away. He texted me. I didn't

1307
01:21:42.880 --> 01:21:47.520
remember that we had each other's numbers from like years ago. He texted me. It's the first time

1308
01:21:48.480 --> 01:21:53.280
I was like, Oh my gosh, he's texting me. But then I replied and then he didn't reply again.

1309
01:21:53.280 --> 01:21:58.720
So I was like, Oh, so then we talked again Friday. It was weird. I gave him the glow stick.

1310
01:21:58.720 --> 01:22:01.760
I think you're going to have to be really clear with him and just be like, Hey,

1311
01:22:02.640 --> 01:22:09.600
what are your plans this weekend? Do you want to go putt putt? Do you want to go axe throwing? Go

1312
01:22:09.600 --> 01:22:17.440
find an activity and be like, let's go do this. Are you interested? Are you free this weekend?

1313
01:22:18.480 --> 01:22:23.920
You're going to have to be very clear with him. I texted him first on Saturday

1314
01:22:24.640 --> 01:22:29.520
and flirted a little, and then he didn't text back. He wasn't even at church on Sunday. So I'm

1315
01:22:29.520 --> 01:22:35.200
like, I don't want to feel pushy. I feel like that's my default is to do it for the guy.

1316
01:22:35.200 --> 01:22:39.440
I feel like my default is to be like, look, what's going on? Do you want to go on a date? Yay or nay.

1317
01:22:39.440 --> 01:22:43.840
But this time I'm wanting to really like lean into like the divine feminine and just let him

1318
01:22:43.840 --> 01:22:48.720
do it. But he's, I don't know, I can't. Here's the thing. Okay. Yes. We want to lean into the

1319
01:22:48.720 --> 01:22:56.160
divine feminine, but what we also coaches here is dropping the hanky. You have to be very clear

1320
01:22:56.160 --> 01:23:02.240
with these guys that you're interested. And sometimes it's a, Hey, let's get together.

1321
01:23:03.120 --> 01:23:08.880
I had to do that several times when I was in this program, I had to initiate the first, like, look,

1322
01:23:09.600 --> 01:23:16.080
I want you to take me out on a date. I'm free this weekend. Let's get together after that.

1323
01:23:16.720 --> 01:23:23.280
Then that's when you want to see them reciprocate it and initiate things after so that you can see,

1324
01:23:23.280 --> 01:23:28.880
okay, are they, are after a first date, do they want to continue to get to know me that you want

1325
01:23:28.880 --> 01:23:35.200
there to be that interest there? Yeah. I, I think, and one thing that I really felt in my spirit

1326
01:23:35.440 --> 01:23:42.160
is, you know, you were, we were talking about just this, not wanting to mess things up. I think

1327
01:23:43.200 --> 01:23:50.400
what is going to be really helpful for you is pulling triggers and just going for it,

1328
01:23:50.400 --> 01:23:56.560
going for things, doing things, and then just, it will help you realize that you're not messing

1329
01:23:57.520 --> 01:24:06.240
everything up. Don't hold back out of fear of not doing things and not being obedient. Just

1330
01:24:07.680 --> 01:24:15.120
walk in faith and step into those situations and scenarios, whatever it is, like,

1331
01:24:16.720 --> 01:24:19.040
I want you to start stepping into decisions,

1332
01:24:19.280 --> 01:24:23.440
even if it feels blind, and then I think more will be revealed.

1333
01:24:23.440 --> 01:24:28.480
Well, even if like a friend says it's a distraction, I was like, that's kind of like,

1334
01:24:28.480 --> 01:24:31.200
everything can't be a distraction. And I felt, I said, if it was,

1335
01:24:31.200 --> 01:24:35.840
well, that's what I'm saying. We have to, we have to be careful of who we're listening to.

1336
01:24:35.840 --> 01:24:41.760
Yeah, that's true. Okay. I mean, your friends are going to, like, even some of my friends,

1337
01:24:41.760 --> 01:24:47.440
I like, wouldn't go to them for everything. Like I have one friend who's like,

1338
01:24:47.440 --> 01:24:56.080
one friend who I really do know, she will be very honest when she hears Holy Spirit.

1339
01:24:56.960 --> 01:24:59.920
Even sometimes, she's the one friend that will tell me things that I don't want to

1340
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.680
here, and I practiced it. I mean, she was one that prophetically spoke about my relationship

1341
01:25:05.680 --> 01:25:10.400
and what that would kind of look like, and I just disregarded it. But then when it happened,

1342
01:25:10.400 --> 01:25:16.080
I mean, again, it was like, okay, Holy Spirit's totally on this. We have to be very careful

1343
01:25:16.800 --> 01:25:24.000
of who we're listening to, okay? That's why I don't say just go to one person. I say you go

1344
01:25:24.560 --> 01:25:30.800
to many, like a couple different people, and you have this community here. So when it comes to

1345
01:25:30.800 --> 01:25:36.560
dating stuff, I would encourage you to put your focus on the coaches and the women here

1346
01:25:38.240 --> 01:25:46.240
and trust that process. And here's the thing, if it is a distraction and if it's not God, then

1347
01:25:47.200 --> 01:25:53.600
we can navigate that. We can process through it. Because here's the thing, sometimes

1348
01:25:54.640 --> 01:25:59.360
God is going to have you maybe even date people that you're not supposed to date, but

1349
01:26:00.320 --> 01:26:06.000
that are not your spirit mate, because there's a deeper growing that needs to come inside of you,

1350
01:26:06.560 --> 01:26:10.960
and it's going to be some of the people that are not your spirit mate that's going to get you there

1351
01:26:10.960 --> 01:26:18.320
in preparation for your spirit mate. Does that make sense? Yeah. So I want you to get comfortable

1352
01:26:18.320 --> 01:26:24.080
getting uncomfortable, okay? And that uncomfort is going to be stepping out and just making

1353
01:26:24.080 --> 01:26:29.360
decisions. Okay. Okay. Drop the hanky with this guy. Let's see where it goes.

1354
01:26:32.880 --> 01:26:38.080
I mean, it just sounds like he's just really not clued in or he's probably like if he's like,

1355
01:26:39.040 --> 01:26:44.400
so like, oh my gosh, this girl's amazing. And he's just like, she's so wonderful. Look how

1356
01:26:44.400 --> 01:26:48.560
beautiful she is. I don't even know if she's going to be interested in me in that way.

1357
01:26:48.560 --> 01:26:54.880
He's probably like really nervous. So inconsistent though. It's like when I gave him the break,

1358
01:26:54.880 --> 01:26:58.640
the glow stick, he came back after service and was like, here's your glow stick back. I was like,

1359
01:26:58.640 --> 01:27:04.320
what are you doing? What do you mean? Did you say that to me? Like, don't be a ding dong.

1360
01:27:05.280 --> 01:27:09.440
Just don't like me. Got it. I can take it. And he was like, no, I want the bracelet,

1361
01:27:09.440 --> 01:27:14.400
but I want it back. And I was like, no, you don't. Yeah. I like that. Like have some of that

1362
01:27:14.400 --> 01:27:19.840
interaction with it. It just sounds like he's really, he's, he's probably a little unsure of

1363
01:27:19.840 --> 01:27:26.320
himself. Not really sure. Just again, it doesn't hurt to go on a date. Yeah. I think he's flirting

1364
01:27:26.320 --> 01:27:31.760
too. He's probably flirting. He probably didn't expect me to get my feelings hurt when he brought

1365
01:27:31.760 --> 01:27:36.240
it back. I think he used it as an excuse to talk to me and I was like, wow, that's what I'm saying.

1366
01:27:36.240 --> 01:27:40.720
So that's not like, just, just have fun with it. Get to know him. If something comes of it,

1367
01:27:40.720 --> 01:27:46.720
great. If nothing comes of it, great. Like you're, you're stepping into a new season. You're,

1368
01:27:46.720 --> 01:27:53.360
you're practicing your dating skills. You're, you're practicing like this, you know, God's

1369
01:27:53.360 --> 01:27:57.920
showing you that you're not messing anything up. Yeah. I really think God just wants to show you,

1370
01:27:57.920 --> 01:28:01.280
look, there's nothing that you're going to do that. You're going to mess things up so bad

1371
01:28:01.280 --> 01:28:10.320
that I can't come in and help. Yeah. All right. We're a little bit over, but Lori,

1372
01:28:10.880 --> 01:28:14.640
can we be short, brief and powerful so I can get to you? I know you kind of jumped in and

1373
01:28:14.640 --> 01:28:20.880
threw your hand up, but I want to make sure I get to you. Yeah. I brought this up on last week's call

1374
01:28:20.880 --> 01:28:25.520
and I can bring it up again. Cause I was actually going to go to tonight's, but decided just to jump

1375
01:28:25.520 --> 01:28:36.240
on. But there's a guy that I went to BSSM with and had like really didn't have, I guess if I'm

1376
01:28:36.240 --> 01:28:42.400
going to make it really short, Ebony said to reach out to him. So he, I would say he's acquaintance.

1377
01:28:42.400 --> 01:28:48.960
He was friends with a housemate when I was out at BSSM. But as far as getting a, you know, a

1378
01:28:48.960 --> 01:28:53.920
conversation, just reaching out and saying, Hey, how's things going in your world? I guess at what

1379
01:28:53.920 --> 01:29:01.440
point would I say, I mean, would you have a couple of those? I'm still, I'm still stuck.

1380
01:29:02.240 --> 01:29:10.560
Do you have already reached out to him? Well, see, I, I look, I've, I pop up some of his stories

1381
01:29:10.560 --> 01:29:17.680
and I accidentally posted, I have no idea how I did this. I'm glad that I'm able to think that

1382
01:29:17.680 --> 01:29:27.200
this is really funny, but I apps accidentally clicked on somehow some avatar of me with fire

1383
01:29:27.200 --> 01:29:34.000
in her eyes. I don't even know if I could find this, but Oh my gosh. Like, it's like, I think

1384
01:29:34.000 --> 01:29:38.640
it's actually really funny. Cause it broke things off me because I, I laughed, you know, kind of

1385
01:29:38.640 --> 01:29:46.640
awkwardly hysterically, but the fact that I was able to, you know, reach out and go, Oh my gosh,

1386
01:29:46.640 --> 01:29:53.760
I have no idea where she came from. But then it's like, you know, people can see when you look at

1387
01:29:53.760 --> 01:29:59.760
their stories. Yeah. So, you know, it's like, I can see who looks at my story. So he, he

1388
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.200
you if he pays any attention, who's looking at his stories.

1389
01:30:03.200 --> 01:30:06.160
But I said, oh, I hope you're well.

1390
01:30:06.160 --> 01:30:09.640
And then he asked, hey, where are you at?

1391
01:30:09.640 --> 01:30:11.280
OK.

1392
01:30:11.280 --> 01:30:11.800
So yeah.

1393
01:30:11.800 --> 01:30:14.720
And then if there's some, hey, where are you at?

1394
01:30:14.720 --> 01:30:16.680
And then you tell him, be like, hey,

1395
01:30:16.680 --> 01:30:20.240
is he fairly close to you locally?

1396
01:30:20.240 --> 01:30:22.960
No, he's out in California, and I'm in Michigan.

1397
01:30:22.960 --> 01:30:23.920
Oh, OK.

1398
01:30:23.920 --> 01:30:24.720
Yeah.

1399
01:30:24.720 --> 01:30:26.520
Yeah, that's going to be a little trickier.

1400
01:30:30.000 --> 01:30:32.840
You can maybe ask him, like, hey, are you?

1401
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:33.760
Let me ask you this.

1402
01:30:33.760 --> 01:30:35.960
Have you seen Fire Eyed Girl?

1403
01:30:35.960 --> 01:30:36.800
No, I have not seen.

1404
01:30:36.800 --> 01:30:39.360
But I do want to go through my emojis and look for her.

1405
01:30:43.080 --> 01:30:45.480
Have you gotten any more?

1406
01:30:45.480 --> 01:30:46.760
Yeah, you can say that.

1407
01:30:46.760 --> 01:30:47.480
Absolutely.

1408
01:30:47.480 --> 01:30:52.920
Like, hey, so anybody have any more Fire Eyed Girl emojis?

1409
01:30:52.920 --> 01:30:54.560
And so yeah, drop that out there.

1410
01:30:54.560 --> 01:30:58.120
And then Lori, are you able to go out to California

1411
01:30:58.120 --> 01:30:58.720
anytime soon?

1412
01:30:58.720 --> 01:31:00.680
Are you planning any trips out there?

1413
01:31:00.680 --> 01:31:01.560
Where are you?

1414
01:31:01.560 --> 01:31:04.400
OK.

1415
01:31:04.400 --> 01:31:06.040
That's where it's going to get tricky.

1416
01:31:11.560 --> 01:31:13.360
Yeah, I don't, because it's hard.

1417
01:31:13.360 --> 01:31:15.120
Because you can't ask him out, like, hey,

1418
01:31:15.120 --> 01:31:16.160
we should get together.

1419
01:31:16.160 --> 01:31:19.040
Because you all are.

1420
01:31:19.040 --> 01:31:20.560
Hey, do you want to go for a coffee?

1421
01:31:20.560 --> 01:31:21.720
Yeah.

1422
01:31:21.720 --> 01:31:25.600
Or do you want to meet up on Zoom for a coffee?

1423
01:31:25.600 --> 01:31:27.760
You could do that, honestly.

1424
01:31:27.760 --> 01:31:29.840
Like, hey, why don't we catch up on a Zoom call?

1425
01:31:29.840 --> 01:31:30.960
Would you be cool with that?

1426
01:31:30.960 --> 01:31:33.880
But catch up isn't even appropriate.

1427
01:31:33.880 --> 01:31:37.840
Because we just knew of each other, really.

1428
01:31:37.840 --> 01:31:42.560
He had it in for my housemate.

1429
01:31:42.560 --> 01:31:44.840
OK, so he was interested in your housemate?

1430
01:31:44.840 --> 01:31:47.000
Yeah, and he's seven years younger.

1431
01:31:47.000 --> 01:31:48.760
And she was 10 years younger than him.

1432
01:31:48.760 --> 01:31:55.800
So my thought is, I just thought, oh, he's interested.

1433
01:31:55.840 --> 01:31:58.000
But you know, you just never know.

1434
01:31:58.000 --> 01:32:00.440
I just see great qualities in him.

1435
01:32:00.440 --> 01:32:03.320
If you can keep it going and see, I would see.

1436
01:32:03.320 --> 01:32:08.640
OK, if you keep it going, and then maybe throw it out there

1437
01:32:08.640 --> 01:32:09.400
one more time.

1438
01:32:09.400 --> 01:32:12.080
And then if he doesn't ever reach back out,

1439
01:32:12.080 --> 01:32:16.200
then I think you get your answer that he's just not

1440
01:32:16.200 --> 01:32:19.560
interested in starting anything up.

1441
01:32:19.560 --> 01:32:20.600
Because here's the thing.

1442
01:32:20.600 --> 01:32:22.680
If he's not even looking at dating,

1443
01:32:22.680 --> 01:32:24.800
he might not even be, like, if you're in Michigan.

1444
01:32:25.160 --> 01:32:27.080
He was in the singles group I was in.

1445
01:32:27.080 --> 01:32:29.000
OK, so he's single.

1446
01:32:29.000 --> 01:32:31.520
But well, maybe you can ask that.

1447
01:32:31.520 --> 01:32:33.600
Like, how is everything going with being single?

1448
01:32:33.600 --> 01:32:34.920
How's that working for you?

1449
01:32:37.920 --> 01:32:38.420
Feels.

1450
01:32:41.240 --> 01:32:44.920
I mean, this is where it's tricky,

1451
01:32:44.920 --> 01:32:46.440
because you guys are long distance.

1452
01:32:46.440 --> 01:32:48.680
And it's you showing interest in him.

1453
01:32:48.680 --> 01:32:53.520
And he hasn't really initiated anything with you.

1454
01:32:54.840 --> 01:32:58.160
So that's where you'd have to kind of be dropping

1455
01:32:58.160 --> 01:32:59.960
little breadcrumbs there just to say,

1456
01:32:59.960 --> 01:33:02.720
hey, you're getting yourself in front of him.

1457
01:33:02.720 --> 01:33:06.840
And then see if he picks up those breadcrumbs

1458
01:33:06.840 --> 01:33:09.920
and actually starts reaching out.

1459
01:33:09.920 --> 01:33:12.920
But I don't want to see you constantly trying

1460
01:33:12.920 --> 01:33:16.160
to get in front of him.

1461
01:33:16.160 --> 01:33:17.800
Yeah, it feels awkward to me.

1462
01:33:17.800 --> 01:33:22.400
It feels forceful, where it's not genuine coming

1463
01:33:22.400 --> 01:33:24.440
from his interest.

1464
01:33:24.440 --> 01:33:25.760
Does that make sense?

1465
01:33:25.760 --> 01:33:28.760
Yeah, I mean, we messaged back and forth

1466
01:33:28.760 --> 01:33:30.440
a few times after that.

1467
01:33:36.040 --> 01:33:38.600
But you're really going to want to see that he's initiated.

1468
01:33:38.600 --> 01:33:39.120
He asked.

1469
01:33:42.320 --> 01:33:45.120
Yeah, I thought I liked your post.

1470
01:33:45.120 --> 01:33:48.640
I have no idea where that fiery eyed girl came from.

1471
01:33:48.640 --> 01:33:51.680
Oh my, hope you're well.

1472
01:33:51.680 --> 01:33:54.080
Then he put a crack up emoji.

1473
01:33:54.080 --> 01:33:57.360
And then doing great things, still in Reading yourself.

1474
01:33:57.360 --> 01:33:58.920
And I said, oh, great to hear.

1475
01:33:58.920 --> 01:34:01.080
I'm back home in Michigan loving being by the water.

1476
01:34:01.080 --> 01:34:04.280
And he said, oh, nice, high five.

1477
01:34:04.280 --> 01:34:07.280
I just liked that because he didn't

1478
01:34:07.280 --> 01:34:09.560
ask me another question.

1479
01:34:09.560 --> 01:34:12.320
Yeah, I think even, I mean, he was even asking,

1480
01:34:12.320 --> 01:34:13.760
oh, are you still in Reading?

1481
01:34:13.760 --> 01:34:16.040
I think that could have been more of an open door

1482
01:34:16.040 --> 01:34:18.120
where you could have, if you were,

1483
01:34:18.120 --> 01:34:20.840
then you would initiate a meet up.

1484
01:34:20.880 --> 01:34:24.840
But if he knows that you're in Michigan,

1485
01:34:24.840 --> 01:34:28.200
then if he's not even, if he's dating and interested

1486
01:34:28.200 --> 01:34:33.080
in dating, we don't even know if he's opened a long distance.

1487
01:34:33.080 --> 01:34:34.280
Right.

1488
01:34:34.280 --> 01:34:35.800
And that's where it's tricky.

1489
01:34:35.800 --> 01:34:38.800
Like, he knows of you.

1490
01:34:38.800 --> 01:34:41.080
I mean, you could probably message like, so,

1491
01:34:41.080 --> 01:34:42.120
are you still single?

1492
01:34:42.120 --> 01:34:44.280
How is that working for you?

1493
01:34:44.280 --> 01:34:46.080
And then he could give you feedback.

1494
01:34:46.080 --> 01:34:50.840
And you can express like, I'm in this community.

1495
01:34:50.840 --> 01:34:57.120
And maybe even just introduce him to this group or something

1496
01:34:57.120 --> 01:35:00.560
and see what kind of comes of it from there.

1497
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:12.200
But it's really, there's a, it's, it's, you're not, it's not in a territory where it sounds like you're on his radar because you're in Michigan and he's in California.

1498
01:35:12.880 --> 01:35:13.160
Okay.

1499
01:35:14.600 --> 01:35:19.920
But I don't think, I mean, if you want to kind of, you know, practice some of the flirting and the talking, you could do that.

1500
01:35:20.400 --> 01:35:26.120
Um, but I wouldn't put all your energy in this one person.

1501
01:35:26.720 --> 01:35:27.120
Okay.

1502
01:35:28.360 --> 01:35:28.960
All right.

1503
01:35:29.280 --> 01:35:29.520
Yeah.

1504
01:35:29.520 --> 01:35:33.800
I feel like he could have come back around and asked another question if he was interested.

1505
01:35:33.840 --> 01:35:34.680
If he was interested.

1506
01:35:34.680 --> 01:35:35.240
And that's what I'm saying.

1507
01:35:35.240 --> 01:35:41.200
I mean, him, you just even saying, no, I'm back in Michigan might've for him been like a, okay.

1508
01:35:42.600 --> 01:35:44.680
What, like, where does that go?

1509
01:35:47.080 --> 01:35:47.880
Does that make sense?

1510
01:35:48.480 --> 01:35:48.840
Yeah.

1511
01:35:49.880 --> 01:35:50.080
Okay.

1512
01:35:50.120 --> 01:35:51.120
Yeah, I think so.

1513
01:35:51.600 --> 01:35:52.000
Okay.

1514
01:35:53.240 --> 01:35:53.800
All right.

1515
01:35:54.200 --> 01:35:55.880
Well, ladies, it's been a pleasure.

1516
01:35:55.880 --> 01:36:02.240
I'm so happy y'all came and I know we went a little over, but I think we had lots of really good shares.

1517
01:36:02.760 --> 01:36:05.080
Continue to keep doing that each week.

1518
01:36:05.200 --> 01:36:08.640
Um, you can jump on tonight's call as well with Ebony.

1519
01:36:08.960 --> 01:36:12.160
I know there's typically a lot more women on that call.

1520
01:36:12.480 --> 01:36:21.720
Um, so if you did get to ask a question, um, please leave space for the other women that were not on today's, um, one o'clock call to ask questions.

1521
01:36:22.080 --> 01:36:30.480
But by all means, if there's time and you have more questions that you want Ebony to help unpack with you, definitely do so.

1522
01:36:30.920 --> 01:36:33.680
Um, I'm going to quickly go through.

1523
01:36:33.680 --> 01:36:34.240
I know.

1524
01:36:34.360 --> 01:36:37.320
Uh, I don't think, is she still on here?

1525
01:36:37.840 --> 01:36:40.440
I think Julia had to jump off.

1526
01:36:41.120 --> 01:36:48.640
I know Lisa, I saw her saying, um, she had asked in the community, so I will go and check that in the next day or two.

1527
01:36:49.040 --> 01:36:56.440
Um, Julia, we just wanted to know if things should be, if she should be initiating things with people, I've responded accordingly to how they communicate.

1528
01:36:56.680 --> 01:36:59.120
Some of them though, I don't want to meet in person.

1529
01:36:59.120 --> 01:37:02.440
So is it okay to just not contact them for further?

1530
01:37:02.600 --> 01:37:03.240
Yeah, ladies.

1531
01:37:03.240 --> 01:37:04.320
That's always a thing.

1532
01:37:04.320 --> 01:37:12.440
Like you can initiate things like you can initiate the first, like, you know, contact call or whatever, or drop the hanky.

1533
01:37:12.440 --> 01:37:14.960
Like let's, let's, let's meet up or something.

1534
01:37:15.520 --> 01:37:18.400
Um, but you definitely want that reciprocation.

1535
01:37:18.800 --> 01:37:23.520
Um, doesn't mean that only men can be the ones like reaching out to you first.

1536
01:37:23.520 --> 01:37:26.880
Like you can also initiate first if you feel led to.

1537
01:37:27.320 --> 01:37:33.120
Um, but if you don't want to meet the person, it's okay to just kind of let it fall off.

1538
01:37:33.480 --> 01:37:37.120
And level one, it's not really ghosting someone.

1539
01:37:37.680 --> 01:37:42.160
If you really haven't had a date, does that make sense?

1540
01:37:42.160 --> 01:37:47.040
Like you're going to get interested in people and then they're going to get interested in it.

1541
01:37:47.040 --> 01:37:50.120
Sometimes it's just out of sight, out of mind.

1542
01:37:50.680 --> 01:37:57.880
So I don't feel like you have to give an exclamation, an explanation to every single guy.

1543
01:37:58.520 --> 01:38:00.840
Like, Hey, I don't see this going anywhere.

1544
01:38:00.880 --> 01:38:05.240
I mean, you just are not super interested and that's okay.

1545
01:38:05.280 --> 01:38:12.040
Like guys will kind of fall off and not contact you in the app and you might fall off and not contact them.

1546
01:38:12.520 --> 01:38:16.720
Um, Lisa, that's a good question.

1547
01:38:16.720 --> 01:38:21.040
Do you initiate the in-person date or do we let them do that after a video call?

1548
01:38:21.080 --> 01:38:22.960
I think it can be either or.

1549
01:38:23.320 --> 01:38:27.480
We don't want you always initiating the dates.

1550
01:38:27.520 --> 01:38:34.120
So what I mean by that is you can drop the hanky and say, Hey, let's get together.

1551
01:38:34.360 --> 01:38:35.480
Let's get a video call.

1552
01:38:35.480 --> 01:38:38.240
Or I had a lot of fun on this video chat.

1553
01:38:38.360 --> 01:38:39.760
Why don't we meet in person?

1554
01:38:39.800 --> 01:38:41.280
Are you free this weekend?

1555
01:38:41.960 --> 01:38:53.040
You can throw that out there and then let them decide after the first in-person date, you want them to initiate the second date.

1556
01:38:53.080 --> 01:39:05.960
But that doesn't mean that you don't clue them in that you're interested in a second date, but you let them come to you and say, Hey, let's get together on this day or this date.

1557
01:39:06.000 --> 01:39:07.440
Like that's for the second one.

1558
01:39:07.560 --> 01:39:08.360
Does that make sense?

1559
01:39:08.360 --> 01:39:11.600
I feel like I just, maybe it was a little unclear.

1560
01:39:11.880 --> 01:39:17.200
So first date you can initiate after the call, let them know this was fun.

1561
01:39:17.240 --> 01:39:19.080
Why don't we do this in person?

1562
01:39:19.480 --> 01:39:29.400
You can say that after the first in-person date, if you still, if you had a good time and you enjoyed their time and you would like to see them again, let them know.

1563
01:39:30.040 --> 01:39:34.600
You might let them know at the end of the date, but then follow up with a message or a call.

1564
01:39:34.800 --> 01:39:37.360
Hey, it was really fun going bowling with you last night.

1565
01:39:37.600 --> 01:39:40.200
We definitely should get, get together again.

1566
01:39:40.800 --> 01:39:47.000
Let me know if you're interested and then let them say, okay, I'm free next weekend.

1567
01:39:47.040 --> 01:39:47.960
How does that work?

1568
01:39:48.000 --> 01:39:49.880
Do you want to go out to dinner?

1569
01:39:50.000 --> 01:39:50.760
Oh, great.

1570
01:39:50.760 --> 01:39:51.800
That would be wonderful.

1571
01:39:52.000 --> 01:39:53.840
Any idea of where you'd want to go?

1572
01:39:54.160 --> 01:39:58.000
Like having that just reciprocated effort.

1573
01:39:58.000 --> 01:39:58.880
Does that make sense?

1574
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:01.940
And I don't know if Julia is still on there,

1575
01:40:01.940 --> 01:40:04.140
but hopefully she listens to the end and replay

1576
01:40:04.140 --> 01:40:06.900
or she might message in the app

1577
01:40:06.900 --> 01:40:09.780
and I can reiterate that to her there.

1578
01:40:09.780 --> 01:40:13.100
Okay, ladies, I'm gonna cut this off

1579
01:40:13.100 --> 01:40:15.700
because we're definitely way, way over,

1580
01:40:15.700 --> 01:40:18.860
but I look forward to seeing y'all in the app,

1581
01:40:18.860 --> 01:40:21.420
letting us know what you're gonna be intentional

1582
01:40:21.420 --> 01:40:24.660
about this week and don't be shy in the app.

1583
01:40:24.660 --> 01:40:27.000
Let us know what's happening, okay?

1584
01:40:27.000 --> 01:40:28.200
Talk to you girls later.