Welcome, welcome, so glad that y'all are joining here.
Kristen, thanks.
I saw that in the chat.
I appreciate you.
Welcome, everyone.
I'm Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the Master Heart Work coaches here in the community.
I'm so excited to be here with you tonight.
I want to just say on that note, Helen, really the best way is if you all really feel connected
with someone in a breakout session, you know, yeah, you can exchange numbers.
But I really want you all to not get distracted during coaching sessions or live, especially
Supernatural Saturday, because what can happen is people can miss even a tidbit.
Now obviously God can get that to you another way, for sure.
I believe that.
But let's just really lean into what the Holy Spirit is going to say tonight.
So it's not that we're like, you're going to get in trouble or anything like that.
It can really cause people to not pay attention.
But you all can totally engage in the chat regarding what I'm talking about.
And when you do that, honestly, as God is speaking to you about things or things are
coming up in you, there are times where God will use that to have me segue into another
point that's really important.
So it's not that you all can't, you know, say things at all in there, but I just want
us to stay on topic.
But welcome.
So glad that you're here joining us.
I appreciate you too, Helen, appreciate all you beautiful ladies, so many joining us again
tonight.
You've been here before.
Welcome back.
If you're joining us new for the first time, you've never been here before.
We'd love for you to put that in the chat for us so we can welcome you.
We're so glad that you're here with us tonight.
God is doing so much in this community, man, people are getting set free.
They're getting delivered.
They're healing.
They're growing.
They're stepping into their love stories.
If you don't know, I am one of the success stories of the last year, single community.
My husband and I will be celebrating three years of marriage in September.
Y'all, this is real.
This is real.
And if it can happen for me, it can happen for you a promise.
And so I want to encourage you with that as we're getting started.
Welcome.
A lot of first timers here tonight, Meg are Pamela.
Is it Richland, Richland?
Tell me how to say your name.
Yes.
Richland.
Thank you for that.
Camille.
Hopefully I said that right.
Jade.
And then tell me what your first name is on the last one, because I see Chan.
Tell me how to say it.
Chanmi.
Chanmi?
Chanmi, yeah.
It's Korean.
Chanmi.
Chanmi, yeah.
Okay.
Gotcha.
So I don't need to say the G basically in there.
Love that.
Oh, no G.
Just C-H-A-N-M-I.
Yep.
Got it.
Thank you so much.
And then Hannah's new.
Welcome.
We're so glad that you're here joining us, and we are going to go ahead and get started
on a couple of housekeeping things.
Want to say that on the weekends, especially more than even during the week, you all, if
you put a post up in the group and you don't get an immediate response, please don't take
it down.
Sometimes on the weekends, because I'm also helping my husband pastor a church here in
Fort Myers, Florida, sometimes the weekends can get a little crazy, you all, so my team
and I do our best to get in there and respond to you all in no more than 12 hours, but if
it does ever go past that, please don't believe any fear or lies of the enemy and take those
things down.
It's just that we haven't been able to fully get in there, but we will get in there and
get to you.
I have some people that I even need to respond to tonight after this session, so I just want
you all to know that up front, because the enemy tries to be busy, busy, busy, and convince
people to take things down.
Don't want you to fall into that.
On that note, if you're not sure where to even post in our group, when you go into the
last year single app, there's a tab called community.
In that community tab, there are some sub tabs, all, wins, and ask a coach.
If you have a question specifically for one of the coaches, myself included, you can put
it under that sub tab.
If you put it under a different tab, we're still going to see it and we're going to still
answer it, even if it's a question, just so you know.
So go ahead and do your best to put it wherever you think it fits.
If we're doing an activation or you're posting your Jesus Cares board, or you just need to
ask a question about something that I've started talking to you about during a live session,
y'all can just put that under all.
We'll see them.
But just want y'all to know that that's where you can find that.
And then the last thing, if you haven't created an introduction post yet, you're new here,
or maybe you've been here for a few weeks and you just tend to be a little bit more
shy or maybe you don't really know if it matters if you do a post, even though we say, please
do an introduction post.
Here's the thing.
It does matter.
For those of you that are on screen, way to go.
You're already on screen without me asking tonight.
I love you.
it for those of you that sometimes I know you can't come on screen so we totally understand,
but for those of you that have never heard me say this, we do want to encourage you to come
on screen live so we can see you during sessions. It's a good practice for you to come out of
hiding, allowing yourself to be seen. Yes, we're on computers and yes, you're on a screen, but man,
when I can see you, it just changes things. It just changes dynamics. So I want to encourage
y'all to practice doing that. And then my last two, very quick, Supernatural Saturday, you all,
man, right out of the gate, Jackie dropped the truth bomb that we can believe a lie at times,
that as soon as we find a spirit mate, it's going to cure all of our loneliness problems.
Like right out of the gate, mic drop. She dropped that bomb and it's so true. I can tell you,
I love my husband. I'm so glad that I have him as a best friend in my life, but I know I still
need some girls. I still need some girlfriends in my camp. And it's just, it's so true what she said.
And so if you haven't heard it yet, she also taught about different types of friends that
we're going to have seasons, reasons, treasons. And then the core one that we want to work towards
is covenant friendships. Okay. And so really allow that. I'm going to say that's a supernatural
session that people should listen to more than once, because you got to really let some of this
stuff soak in so that you can hear who is the Lord revealing to you about the teachings and who are
maybe some people that you need to move on from to make room for the new covenant friendships that
God's going to bring your way. And then last night we did prophetic ministry night and we did a combo.
We activated Supernatural Saturday stuff a little bit, and then we released some prophetic words.
And so I want you all to check those out. The replay I just looked before I came on live,
the replay for prophetic ministry night is not under the replay tab yet, but I believe it'll be
there hopefully by tomorrow afternoon. We have a couple of people on vacation that are on the team.
So hopefully that'll be there for everyone, but I do want you all to kind of look for that this week.
All right, let me pray for us. Father, thank you so much for this night. We thank you God for
just the truth that you give us fresh mercy every morning, that it's new, that you're fresh,
that you're coming in and bringing truth and life and revitalizing us from the inside out. God,
we thank you for fixer-up projects. God, you're the best one at fixing up things that are broken
in us. God, we thank you for revealings for healing that are going to happen tonight.
God, we're asking for a supernatural acceleration in healing. God, that you are the great physician.
Nothing's too hard for you. So Lord, where we have doubt, where we have unbelief, and we're
even wondering at times, is anything going to be different? God, I pray that you would just come
and make your habitation among us tonight, that you would help us to hear what your spirit is
saying louder than any voice of the enemy, that every doubt would be dispelled, that healing
would break out, Lord God. And we know that revival in communities comes through revival in us. So
revive us, oh Lord. Revive us and heal us and redeem the broken and fallen places. Lord, I thank
you that you go into even the areas where it feels broken down and you lift those places up, God, by
your grace and your goodness and your favor and your love. And we just thank you, God, that where
those that have come in tonight, where they've even felt pressed down and not really even sure,
God, they feel like you're doing something and you've drawn them here, but God, the enemy still
comes in so quick to distract, to press down. We thank you, God, that you would just lift them up
tonight, take their feet out of the muck and the mire, set their feet upon the rock, and help them
to understand that you are always fighting for them. You're on their side, God, and you're not
going to fail them. God, we thank you that you'll help us to partner with you in the process. In
Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen. So we're talking about forgiveness tonight, ladies. I haven't talked
about it for a while. It's time. It's time for all of us to take a journey back through
forgiveness and all the things that God wants to release tonight. I'm going to start with a quote
from the HeartWork book, but it's by Martin Luther King, okay? So it's actually a Martin
Luther King Jr. quote, and this is what it says. We must develop and maintain the capacity
to forgive. He who is devout of the power to forgive is devout of the power to love.
Why don't you hear that again? We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who
is devout of the power to forgive is devout of the power to love. Light and darkness cannot coexist.
As soon as light, the light of Jesus Christ comes into any dark area, it is illuminated,
and darkness has to flee. Y'all, love and hatred.
hatred cannot coexist. It can't. Some of you even internally struggle with self-hatred,
self-loathing, self-pity, these self-deprecating types of thoughts, and it's causing you to
actually not be able to step into the fullness of what God has for you because you're literally
internally allowing the enemy to defeat you on a regular basis. So tonight, I want you
to be thinking about where is the Lord inviting you into forgiveness, but you're even telling
him you can't forgive that person. Because Lord, if you knew what they did, see, he knows
though. He already knows what they did. He already knows how hard it is for you to forgive.
But the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead, it's living in you. If you've
accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and as your Lord, that's operating in you, and
we can call on the power of the Holy Spirit to help us to forgive, to step into grace,
to step into new directions and new life and new hope, but it starts with forgiveness ladies.
It starts with forgiveness. And so tonight, I want you to be thinking about the truth
and the reality that forgiveness along with repentance and confession is the only thing
that has the power to put you back in touch with your authentic identity. Who God originally
created you to be, your authentic identity, forgiveness, repentance, and confession are
keys to you literally stepping further into that place, that person, that identity. Not
the counterfeit identities, not the things that are causing confusion and chaos, doubt,
unbelief, bitterness, resentment, the patterns of unforgiveness. Some of y'all, it's not
just your battle that you're fighting regarding forgiveness, but for generations, your family
has not forgiven. Y'all, I didn't even think about this this afternoon, but this just came
up in my spirit. The girl's dad, my spiritual daughters, their dad and their family, there
was a lot of brokenness, you know, and I will say that sometimes it's just really hard
and I get that. But when I look at some of the situations, man, the sons were carrying
the burdens and the unforgiveness of the father to such a degree that if this man that they
were all mad at, who had an affair with their mom, if he even came around this one time,
he was literally sitting in the truck at church. He didn't come in, he was sitting
in the parking lot. Mind you, we all had just walked out of church and they all went, hey,
you know what? Because this dude sitting in the parking lot, he brought their mom to church
so that she could come to church with the grandkids and the family, but they had so
much bitterness and hatred and unforgiveness and entitlement that they literally walked
out of church and started this argument in the parking lot with this man. Doesn't that
seem off? I remember thinking like, what is happening right now? How do we just walk out
of that amazing service? And y'all are literally like in moments stepping into that. Well,
the problem is, is that bitter roots been there for a long time. And instead of the
younger sons working to break that in their hearts and minds and spirits, they're now
carrying it on for their father. And here's the thing, the mother chose, right? Okay.
So when you be thinking about that, even in your own families and your own, and that might
not apply to some of you and that's totally okay. But there are some people here tonight
that the Lord is saying like, Hey, it's time to do something different. It's time to look
different than how your family for generations has looked. It's time to not, not continue
to take up that unforgiveness for your mom or your dad or whoever it is. And it's time
to lay that down and forgive. I don't know who that's for, but it's for someone. So I
trust the Lord in that. So as we start to go into this more tonight, forgiveness breaks
tethers. I want you to think about the person that hurt you and yourself. Tethering is like
you're tied to them. Okay. I talk about tether ball games a lot because I used to play that
in elementary school for people that have been on these sessions several times for weeks.
You may have heard me tell this before, but a tether ball would, there'd be a pole and
then there was a rope and the rope was connected to a ball.
and they would connect it to the pole
and the kids would stand around
and you'd hit the ball back and forth.
Some of you might know what I'm talking about.
Some of you in other countries might be like, no clue.
I don't know if they play that in Europe
or other places like Australia, I have no clue.
But it was like a game.
But at the same time,
God always takes me back to the reality of,
A, that ball and rope always stayed on the pole
until someone removed it.
And B, people stood and hit it around,
they're batting it around.
And I just kind of thought this afternoon
even about this a little bit more.
That's how unforgiveness is, really, if you think about it.
Sometimes you're kind of just stuck in this cycle
of batting the ball back around.
You know, it's almost like
you're in multiple places on the court
and you're just, it's batting all of the pain
and the trauma and the triggers back and forth,
back and forth.
And at some point, the Holy Spirit is saying,
are you willing to take that off of the pole?
Are you willing to surrender this part of your heart,
this part of your life?
Are you willing to give it to me
and allow me to do with it what I think needs to be done?
Are you willing to allow me to defend you,
to fight for you?
And for some, it's like, well, wait,
God, you're not defending me
because something's still happening in the physical realm.
People are abusing people.
We had this afternoon, a woman in our community,
she shared that, you know,
somebody that was an ex-fiance, when they broke up,
he went after her, attacked her.
All kinds of court stuff has had to happen.
Stalked her.
That's horrible.
That's horrible for anybody
to have to go through that kind of stuff.
And so the dynamic that we struggle with is,
wait a minute, if this is happening in the physical realm,
God, how is that you defending me?
But remember that the thief is the one
that comes to kill, steal, and destroy.
The enemy is still at work
and he's still causing things to happen
to contradict who God is.
One of his number one things
is he always wants you to doubt God's faithfulness
and his love for you at the core.
If he can get you to believe that God doesn't love you,
he doesn't come through for you,
and he does not protect you,
and that he doesn't love you,
that's the crux.
That's the crux of everything else, you all.
And so he's always going after that.
So tonight I wanna encourage you,
you know, the reality is this,
is that when you go through situations,
some of you need to forgive God,
not because God did something wrong,
but because you've held him responsible.
I want you to let that sink in a little bit.
You're holding God responsible
for something God didn't do.
Just like Jesus, I feel the Holy Spirit on this,
was sent to the cross,
yet he was innocent.
But I want you to know that God is big enough,
he understands, his shoulders are wide enough,
he's not angry with you.
He knows why you felt the way that you felt,
and he's compassionate,
and he's loving and kind towards you.
He's not looking at you with anger.
He has love in his heart and his eyes for you,
and he wants to lead you into truth further tonight.
So we're gonna keep going.
So remember I talked about the sin of the cross,
I talked about the tethers,
and when we don't forgive people, we're bound to them,
we're bound to the trauma.
So those people that harmed you when you don't forgive,
you're literally choosing to stay connected to them
like this, okay?
But if you forgive them, guess what starts to happen?
Release starts to happen.
You no longer are tethered to those people
and those memories and those places and spaces.
Forgiving people isn't forgetting.
You will remember what happened for the most part.
Sometimes God will literally remove the memories from us
because it's just too much.
But y'all, I remember most of what happened in my life,
at least the things that did bring,
like God did bring to the surface
that I did remember over the years.
But I can forgive people,
and actually God removed the pain of this situation.
I remember, but I don't feel the depth
of the pain of those things anymore.
Now, fresh stuff, yeah, I might still feel some pain there,
but the more that we heal and the more that we process,
the more that we continue to move towards the things
that God has for us,
the more the sting.
of death and the sting of pain,
and the sting of trauma gets removed from us.
I want you to be thinking about,
I love to give this analogy,
and I remembered my sunglasses tonight.
I laughed this afternoon because the last couple of times
I've wanted to do this, I kept forgetting my sunglasses,
but I remembered, I remembered tonight,
y'all these are not fancy ones, they're old.
So, but I use these ones because they're the UV kind.
So when I look at things that are supposed to look white,
they look kind of peachy orange.
And the reason I like to use this example is because,
like this one day we went to the beach
when we first moved here to Fort Myers,
and we're looking at the clouds.
And I said to my husband like,
oh my gosh, look at those peach clouds over there.
This is kind of a silly moment, y'all.
And he's like, what are you talking about?
I was like, over there, don't you see them?
They're like beautiful, it's like peachy pink.
And he's like, Bethany, those are white.
Y'all, I totally forgot I had my sunglasses on.
I totally forgot I had my sunglasses on,
but it was like this aha moment for me.
Because it hit me how much glasses and filters
can change the way we see something.
Now that was still pretty,
but let's talk about if these sunglasses
actually represent unforgiveness.
I want you to think about literally
how often unforgiveness is tainting
the way you see yourself, other people,
the way you see God,
the way that you're actually experiencing
the world around you.
You all, imagine if these were over my ears.
Everything that I'm hearing, even when it's truth,
it's getting filtered through unforgiveness
and brokenness and bitterness.
Bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness
hang out together, they're buddies.
So if you're struggling with like bitterness
and you're angry a lot,
y'all most likely there's unforgiveness in there
that you need to forgive someone.
And so you're interacting with people
because you're seeing everything through these filters,
you're interacting differently,
you're kind of holding back,
you're not really being your full self.
Even when you want to be, subconsciously you can't
because unforgiveness holds us back.
It always stops the flow of the Holy Spirit,
the bitter root even more so.
I'm gonna take these off now
because y'all can get the point.
But I want you to understand that this is a really big deal
when the bitter root, unforgiveness, unresolved
is how it turns into resentment.
And the more that you resent, the more that the person,
especially if somebody is a repeat offender,
they just continue to hurt you
and they continue to hurt you and it's not changing.
And even though you're praying
and you're trying to do everything you can
to shift that situation,
it's hurting you over and over again.
Well, oftentimes that's when the bitter root
comes into play.
Remember, unforgiveness, unresolved, you're not forgiving
is turning into resentments,
deep seated resentments and offense.
And then it's turning into these bitter roots.
I want to read something to you.
Hebrews 12, 15 says this,
see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God
and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble
and defile many.
The tail end of the King James version of that,
yep, this is old school,
but I wanted to read the difference in this.
Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you
and thereby many be defiled.
I think most people know what bitterness is,
but I'm still gonna read in the Greek understanding
of this scripture, this is what it says.
Bitter gall, extreme wickedness, a bitter root
and so producing bitter fruit.
For those of you that were here last week,
we talked about our roots and fruits activation, didn't we?
Metaphorically, it also represents bitterness, bitter hatred.
All right, so I know it's heavy,
but we need to talk about it.
We need to think about it.
We need to be asking the Lord where,
is there anywhere in me that I'm holding bitterness,
resentment or unforgiveness towards someone?
And Lord, I pray that you would help me to choose to forgive
and allow your healing waters to come into those places,
to literally come into every dead area, every broken area,
every hardened, stony part of my heart
and start to bring life and water into those places.
It's literally like a dam that's been stopped up.
And as soon as we forgive you all,
even if we don't feel it in the physical realm,
I'm telling you, this is what happens in the spiritual realm.
It literally removes all the debris,
everything that's been blocking up the flow of the water
and the water begins to flow
and truth starts to get illuminated to us.
More than ever before we start to hear the voice of the father a little bit more clearly
Everything that's been dull and and dark and dim it starts to feel light again
And for some of you I know this comes up every single time
I've tried to forgive somebody I have forgiven somebody but man
It just keeps coming up like God just keeps bringing them up and I don't understand. Did I not forgive correctly?
Yes, you did you forgave but here's the thing
Healing happens in layers and so does forgiveness a
Lot of times that's not taught in the church. They're just like forgive and you should just be done with that thing
They might not say it that way but that's kind of how it's conveyed at times
but the reality is is that
Five years ago
Five years ago the revelation that I had about a situation is entirely different than what I see now
The reason I'm saying that to you is that wherever you were I'm just using five years ago as an example
Let's say you forgave the first time then
You're forgiving based off of the knowledge that you have in that moment of the situation
The the perspective that God has given you the things he's highlighting to you about the situation the person and you're doing your best to
forgive in that moment in that space and all of those things that were shown to you and then you journey further and
Then it's coming back up because hey the Lord the Holy Spirit's kind of like hey
I want you to take another look at this thing not because you didn't do something, right?
But because I have something else to show you about it
There's another layer of healing that needs to happen here because the pain of that thing was deep
Last night on the prophetic ministry night. One of the things
That came up was before I even hopped on and y'all when you hear the recording if you weren't there live
You'll hear it before I hopped on I always do this Lord
What's what's something you want to convey to your people tonight to those that are part of this movement in this community?
What's something you want to convey and you all I kept seeing a band-aid
Literally multiple times. I'm like Lord. What's this about? What's the band-aid about and
When I asked him that I saw him like as if the Lord was coming to someone's arm
I'm just gonna use that as an example and there was a band-aid there and he was lovingly removing the band-aid
But then I saw him take some needle and thread and he was starting to stitch the arm
But it wasn't on this surface you all I
Literally saw him stitching down in like if your arm, you know was really sliced guess what y'all
They got a stitch on the inside first, and then they stitched the top
well, well the what I saw was the Lord was stitching down on the inside and
So I'm using that as an example tonight because that's where some of you are
You did your best to heal where you were at. But for some of you it was a band-aid
It wasn't a long-term
Healing solution, but again, you didn't do anything wrong
But the Holy Spirit's coming because he's got an upgrade and healing for you
He's gonna go deeper into that place because you're ready now
You're ready now and so he'll lead you with with grace and and mercy and he's gonna give you the enablement to do it
All right. I'm gonna keep going when we have those filters of
Unforgiveness bitterness resentment. It gives us a really hard time being able to give and receive love
It also causes us to really struggle to remain in connection with God ourselves and other people
I'm gonna read something from the heart workbook tonight
Not a lot, but I do want to touch on this
This is when Jackie was talking about for those of you that have just started you'll get there
You'll read this eventually you don't have to skip ahead to this. So just kind of receive it tonight
But Jackie's talking about this time that she was dating someone and they ended up going to Captain D's and she was meeting his family
and it was this whole big thing and
She ends up eating the food there at Captain D's and gets sick
really really sick food poisoning sick and
After that incident she says every time I saw the sign to Captain D's or any advertising for the restaurant
I felt sick all over again
It's a good thing there wasn't social media back then because I would have definitely posted some terrible things about old captain after all
He did this to me
We tell ourselves some version of this lie every day
This is their fault. Not mine. They did this to me
But the truth is the restaurant didn't make me sick. I was already carrying the virus
It was it was inside of me before I even ordered my food no matter
Matter what food I ate, my stomach was poised
and ready to be upset and hurl it back at me,
but I couldn't see it because I had a blind spot.
Now, I'm not saying that people haven't done things
to hurt you, okay, that caused you harm,
but what I am saying is that so many of us
already had trauma in our lives
before those incidents ever came.
Unless it's something that happened to you
when you were very little, that's different.
But I'm talking about the additional things
that came along the way, where at times,
it's just sometimes easier for us to blame
the other person for the whole thing.
What do I mean by that?
Well, what I mean by that is my spiritual daughters,
I dated their dad for six years, way too many years.
It was very unhealthy the entire time.
Y'all, I saw red flags in the beginning,
but because I was so caught up in the fantasy,
the fake stuff he showed me in the beginning,
that I just didn't listen to the Lord.
And I've shared that a little bit in the previous weeks,
but I want y'all to understand for a while there,
yes, he did things that were hurtful.
He did a lot of betrayal things.
There was a lot going on there,
but I chose to stay in that relationship.
I chose.
God didn't make me do that.
Now, I will tell you that my counterfeit identities
in the beginning were telling me to do that.
They were telling me how good he was,
but I was seeing through lenses that were not healthy,
that were not correct.
And when God was showing me, God was whispering to me like,
hey, you're not the woman at the well.
This guy's not for you.
He was totally fine with doing things
that Christians aren't supposed to do,
if you know what I'm saying.
And God was saying, hey, that's not you.
That's not your story.
That's not what I have for you.
And y'all, I didn't a lot of the time,
but man, there were a lot of things
where there was a lot of pressure and abuse
and manipulation and people can wear you down sometimes.
But I chose to be in that situation.
That wasn't God's fault, but I was mad at God about it.
God, why did you lead me into this relationship?
Because I believed he did, but y'all, he didn't.
That relationship presented itself
and I chose to go into it, okay?
My unhealthy filters and mindsets and heart postures
and things that still needed healed
caused me to choose someone that was really unhealthy.
All right, I'm gonna keep moving,
but I'm saying all that to say,
not only do we need to forgive other people,
forgive God, but we need to forgive ourselves.
Y'all, I beat myself up for that for a long time.
How could I be so dumb to pick someone like that
and stay in it for this many years?
I wasted all that time.
But I had to choose to forgive myself
because I didn't know what I didn't know until I knew it.
And there were things that needed healing.
Like, and I was faithful.
I was a faithful Christian serving,
but there were just areas where,
because of the pain of the past,
the subconscious things that were causing me
to make decisions in my romantic life
that were causing me to be stuck and held back.
And once I forgave myself, y'all,
it started changing a lot of things.
Matthew 22, 39, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Here's the tricky part.
The church tells us to love ourselves,
and I think for the most part,
we do that to the best of our ability.
But some of you all, you really don't love yourself.
And so it's making it really hard to love other people.
Even when you say you want a relationship,
friends, romantic people get close and you get all prickly.
I think this afternoon I said porcupine,
that they just, the things come out and you're like,
you know, people can't get close to you
because as soon as you feel threatened or triggered,
you go into that response, you know,
and the people get pushed away.
And so what I want to kind of present to you tonight
as well as this,
not only do some of you struggle to love yourself,
but a lot of you don't even like yourself.
Like, I want you to think about when you are alone,
do you actually enjoy your own company?
And you know, I'm not saying that you just need to be good
with not having a spirit mate.
That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying though, is that we need to learn.
I had to learn this.
I had to learn and realize that I actually didn't even enjoy my own company.
I liked myself to the best of my ability, but I had so many internal things going on that I literally felt like the room wasn't full if I was there by myself.
Am I making sense to you all?
And so I had to really start looking at, okay, what's going on here?
Why do I feel like less than if there's not a bunch of people here or someone here to make me feel like I'm not alone?
I had to look at the abandonment and the neglect that I went through as a kid.
Helen, that's where it went for me.
The abandonment and the neglect that I experienced as a kid caused me to feel deep loneliness.
And that deep loneliness fed into the lies that I wasn't enough.
And God wanted to set me free from that so that I would actually enjoy my own company.
And then when I would meet somebody else, I wouldn't be coming in like half a broke person walking into a relationship trying to make a relationship whole.
No, I needed to be a whole person.
I didn't have to be perfect. Don't misunderstand me.
I just needed to be healthier and more whole and really learn to embrace how God made me to be.
And so I just started doing like really praying into that, Lord, help me to like myself, help me to have fun.
Like even if nobody else is here, like to laugh and be silly and, you know, just enjoy.
And whatever that looked like, some days it looked like turning on music and dancing around in my kitchen by myself and really liking it.
Like really having fun, genuinely.
Yeah, life is fun with other people around, but you know what?
As soon as we start to live fully ourselves, man, people just get drawn to that.
They get drawn to people that are alive and living and full of life.
All right, I'm going to keep going.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice.
Okay, so you might not feel like forgiving, but it's a choice to do so.
And even when you choose to do so, you might not feel a release.
Some of you are going to feel like a weight lift right off you.
And others, you might not feel that right now, but you will at some point.
Okay, so don't get discouraged if you don't feel that right away.
Okay, Ephesians 4.23.
Joey, I love that you laughed at yourself for the first time in a while.
That's awesome.
That's a victory.
That's a win.
I hope that you share about that in the group.
Tell us what happened in the group and what caused you to laugh at yourself.
All right, Ephesians 4.23.
Forgive one another just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.
Colossians 3.13.
Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must also forgive others.
Forgive all of the characters in the story, including yourself,
which I already touched on a little bit.
Remember that forgiveness happens in layers and healing happens in layers.
I touched on that already.
One of the other things that I want to share, it came up this afternoon.
I felt like it was super significant to mention again tonight,
is that for some of you,
the same guy that I was just sharing about, the girl's dad,
when we would have disagreements, which was like all the time, y'all,
which is not healthy if that's happening,
just tuck that away for later when y'all go back into dating.
If you're fighting all the time, y'all, that's not how it is.
That's not how it's supposed to be.
All right.
But anyways, when there would be these arguments and stuff,
he would say to me a lot, like, you're never willing to forgive.
You're never willing to let it go. Well, here's the reality.
Y'all so much bad stuff happened all the time.
Like it just reopened it every single time.
It wasn't that I wasn't willing to forgive him. That wasn't true.
But it was just perpetual, perpetual,
perpetual over and over and over again.
But he would always try to gaslight me and tell me how I wasn't willing
or able to forgive and all these things.
And the reason I'm bringing that up is because some of you have had
people say stuff like that to you.
That you've not been willing or able to forgive,
but you have been willing.
It's just that, you know, a, again, it happens in layers.
They just don't have a full understanding of how forgiveness actually
works.
And forgiveness. Yeah, we forgive,
but we don't have to keep allowing that toxic person to come in and
keep doing their toxic stuff.
Right.
So some of you need to reject the lie that was spoken over you.
are able to forgive. Someone said that over you and then some of you started partnering with that
because you're like, oh my gosh, I haven't been willing to forgive. And then it turned into a
reality for you. And so the more you come out of agreement with those kinds of things, I want you
to also be thinking about in this process, what are some other things that people have spoken
over you that are not truth, but you just received them? You just received them like they were truth
and they cause you to constantly kind of topsy turvy. Like you don't know which way to go and
you don't know who you are because people are saying this one day and you're thinking, oh,
that is true about me. And then the next day, somebody else is saying something else. And
I don't know if you ever feel like that you all, but sometimes even people that love you,
love you, I'm not saying that people mean to hurt us, but man, sometimes people say some stuff and
I'm just like, what? No, that's not true. And sometimes I am like, Lord, okay, will you show
me if there's any truth in what they just said? And if there is truth in what they said, Lord,
help me to heal and come out of that if I need to. And if it's not true, Lord, help me just to
dismiss that and let it go. Which for me, y'all, I struggle. I'm a lot better now,
but I've in my life, I struggled with people pleasing a lot. And so if I think somebody
thinks something negative about me, because if they're saying it, they must think it.
Man, I, I, I process that over and over in my mind and, and I'm like, okay, well, why would
they think this? And what did I do? And what did I say? And y'all, sometimes I'm, it's not that
we've done anything. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think we have, but for some of you, literally
people were just saying mean things to you and not using wisdom with their mouth. The tongue is
unruly and full of evil. The Bible says, but why do we then believe everything that someone says
instead of saying, Lord, is this true about me?
So if you're, if you're someone where people have said a lot of hurtful things to you,
I'm going to encourage you, you need to process that. You need to forgive those people
for the things that they said and ask the Lord to show you if in any way, if you've partnered
with those lies that were spoken over you subconsciously, you didn't mean to, but when
they said it, it hurt you, it wounded you. And then you believed the lie and you started living
into that because God wants to invite you out of those, those, uh, declarations over your life
that are not true. All right. A couple other things, and then I'm going to get ready for
breakout. I'm going to talk to you really quickly about the difference between victim,
survivors, and thriving. Victims tend to feel helpless. They blame other people and they focus
on the past. Are you someone that struggles to always focus on the past? Are you someone
that tends to blame other people? And you're not, you never are at fault,
feeling helpless all the time. Like you have no power, you have no ability to change anything.
If so, that means again, now, when I give this information, ladies tonight,
I don't want you allowing the enemy to beat you up with it. Okay. This information is to help you
grow. Okay. So even if you are currently in a victim heart posture with victim mindsets and
mentalities, this is not to shame you. It's to help you so that you have an invitation
to come out of that. Does everyone understand before I keep going? Okay. I want to make sure.
Okay. I want to make sure. All right. Survivors are people that have reclaimed their power.
They take responsibility for choices. They choose to heal, often work on self-care.
They start saying no, they start setting some boundaries, but here's the reality. Survivors,
they continue to live, but a lot of time it's in an, like a mode of existing.
Survivors are great. And back in the day, I can remember like, I'm a survivor, I'm an abuse
survivor. And one time the Holy Spirit convicted me. He's like, no, you're not. I'm like, yeah, I
am. He's like, no, you're an overcomer. There's a difference. There's a difference.
All right. Thriving sounds like this, focused on the future. They have power regarding their
future. They surround themselves with other people who thrive.
Again, thriving, focused on the future. They have power regarding their future,
which means we believe that God has plans to prosper us,
to give us a hope and a future not to harm us. Right? As Jeremiah 29,
11, that goes through verse 13.
I kind of skipped down to part of 13 when I just said that.
People that thrive, grow, they develop,
they prosper, they flourish.
So tonight the goal is to help you start coming
more and more out of victim over here
and start moving into thriving little by little by little.
Some of you are like, how do I get there?
Well, I wanna tell you, it's literally daily steps
of healing and process and following
and doing the next best thing
that the Lord leads you to do, sincerely.
And some of you, you might feel like you're thriving
in certain areas of your heart and life
and victim in other areas of your heart and life and mind.
For example, I would say my financial area,
I'm doing a lot better now, praise the Lord,
he's been blessing my life like crazy.
But that was one of the kind of last areas
like I've really had to kind of get that part caught up.
That was kind of lagging behind a little bit
for a while there in victim mode.
But the more healing I received,
the more revelation I started getting,
the less that I believed limiting beliefs and mindsets
and the more that I started receiving heavenly perspectives.
And the more that I received the things
and thoughts of heaven, remember his kingdom come here
on earth as it is in heaven, this day, every day,
that we would be transformed by the renewing of our mind,
that all things would pass away,
behold, everything would become new.
God wants to take you towards the new.
Isaiah 43, 19, I'm doing something new.
I'm gonna paraphrase this, don't you perceive it?
I'm about to bring some springs in the wasteland
and streams in the desert, like all that barren stuff,
I'm about to do something new.
So where you felt dead, where you felt like there's no hope,
where God, where the, excuse me,
the enemy is trying to convince you
that nothing's gonna be different,
not even through the hard work, you've done this before.
He's always trying to convince you that God's a trickster,
that he's not good.
You're here by divine assignment.
Do you believe that, that God divinely drew you here?
Well, if that's the case, guess what?
That means he's setting you up for success.
But it's whether or not you choose to believe that
and partner with that.
Y'all, this is a moment by moment thing sometimes,
the partnering with God in our minds.
Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.
Get comfortable with that.
I believe, help my unbelief.
The man in the Bible who was literally his,
I think his daughter was dying
and he's meeting with Jesus
and he knows that Jesus can't come to where he's at.
And he's saying, I believe, help my unbelief.
About what?
That Jesus can heal his daughter.
Jesus died on the cross for you to have victory
in every area of your life.
Are you ready for the upgrade?
Are you really ready to apply the blood of Jesus Christ,
the power and the blood of Jesus Christ
to every area of your mind and your situation?
Tonight, the upgrade's available.
It's time for us to step into it.
A couple more things about thriving.
Thriving might sound like this.
Here's some choices to make about thriving.
What do you wanna do?
How do you wanna experience the world in the days to come?
Like last night, one of the things the Holy Spirit
had me say is what kind of friend do you wanna be?
Not just what kind of friends do you want,
but what kind of friend do you want to be?
And then start moving towards that as God leads you
and trust that God is going to send you friends.
Even when we don't see them in the physical realm, ladies,
we have to partner with the truth.
God is on our side and he wants us to be surrounded
by good people in community.
He says in Psalm 68, six, that he will take the lonely,
the solitary, and he'll place them in family.
Well, why would it say that if that's not true?
I promise I face some of the same things y'all face.
We moved to Florida last year.
We've been here a year now.
You moved to a brand new space and place.
Guess what?
You don't have automatic friends there with you.
All my friends live far away.
The ones that I would normally have spent time with.
So guess what?
I got to make some new friends.
But we had to get to know a church and the people here.
And that was kind of priority.
So for the first year, that was a huge focus.
We had to get to know.
know the people that we were gonna minister to.
It doesn't mean I wasn't trying to make friends.
I was praying for that.
We're moving towards that.
We got connected to a network of other pastors
and leaders and ministers.
Because sometimes you just got to run
with a pack of people that can get you.
They understand you.
But I haven't been able to invest in that a whole lot.
But in this next year, you better believe
that's gonna be one of my top focuses.
Cultivating friendship.
Because we all need it, you all.
We all need it.
So one of the ways that I want to experience
the world in this next year is I want to feel
divine healing and connection and friendships.
And I'm believing for that and I'm praying for that.
How will you act?
What is your attitude gonna be?
When things present themselves, are you gonna choose
to just keep partnering with anger?
Y'all, I know it can be really hard
to get in control of our emotions.
You know, again, I struggle with stuff too.
But the reality is the fruit of the spirit is self-control.
It's one of the fruits of the spirit.
Let's start coming out of alignment
with all the angry things that we think about.
The enemy's assaulting our minds all the time.
He's just sending stuff one after another after another,
trying to convince us that something's not good.
That this is going bad.
And you all, these are real things.
Like my spiritual daughters aren't doing so great.
They're not.
It's really hard.
Their dad and their mom, they're super broken people.
I'm praying for healing for them.
But it's hard to watch my girls go through things
that they're going through.
So in the physical realm, I see not healthy things
happening there, but I am not going to allow that
to cause me to believe for one second
that as for me and my house, they will serve the Lord.
My girls are going to live a healthy life.
The same way that I could choose healing,
I believe they can choose it too.
And it's just until that day comes.
Yet.
Some of y'all haven't met your spirit mates yet,
but it's coming.
It's coming.
Last one, where do you want to focus your resources?
What kind of opportunities do you want to create
for yourself in the future?
Again, some of you, this might feel far off
from where you're at right now,
because that's the land of thriving.
People that thrive are thinking about those things.
Y'all, Brian and I are always talking about the future.
We're always talking about what's something
that we can create?
What's something that we can do?
What's something that we can help people
know more about Jesus?
Like we're talking about this stuff on a regular basis.
And I'm not patting myself on the back.
Y'all, it took a lot to get here.
I'm just letting you know that you can get here too.
And it's not like we've arrived.
Y'all, I'm just saying, we're on our way.
We're on our way and we want to take people with us.
And so that's why I'm taking this extra time
to talk through victim, survivor, and thriving tonight.
It's not too far off for you.
It's not, all right?
Okay, we're gonna talk very quickly tonight about stressors.
I want you to know that stressors
are still gonna come into your life.
You're gonna feel things happen.
And when stressors come,
there's a difference between reacting and responding.
I'm gonna read a scripture to you
and then we're literally gonna go into breakouts
right after that.
This is what it says, life by the spirit.
This is from Galatians chapter five, verses 11 through 22.
And I'm gonna read it really quick.
You, my brothers and sisters were called to be free,
but do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh.
Rather serve one another humbly in love
for the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command
love your neighbor as yourself.
If you bite and devour each other,
watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
So I say, walk by the spirit
and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh
for the flesh desires what is contrary to the spirit
and the spirit, what is contrary to the flesh,
they are in conflict with each other
so that you are not to do whatever you want.
But if you are led by the spirit, you are not under the law.
The acts of the flesh are obvious,
sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery,
idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy,
fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions,
factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies in the like.
I warn you as I did before that those who live like this
will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But verse 22, there's a but and 23,
but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace,
forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self control.
Y'all, you can walk in the fruits of the spirit.
The Holy Spirit can enable you. I'm about to set the breakout rooms up right now.
Here's the question that you're going to talk about when you go into the breakout room, okay?
And I'll explain for those that aren't quite sure how to get into the breakout room here in just a minute.
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?
So when I set these breakout rooms up, they pop up on your screen.
And I'll tell you when it's going to come your way.
And you're just going to click to join that, okay?
I'm getting this set up really quick.
If you can't join the breakout, that's okay.
Now, y'all, if you get into a room and you're sitting there by yourself, kind of hang out for a minute.
Some people's Internet's delayed.
If I see that you're in there by yourself, I will move you.
Now, if you get into a room and there is a person there but they're not talking,
please come back to the main room and tell me that, and I can put you in a different room.
I don't want anyone getting stuck in a room by themselves, okay?
All right.
I'm going to do short, brief, and powerful, ladies, so keep that in mind.
Make sure everybody in the room has time to talk.
I'm going to do seven minutes, so you've got to be really quick to get in these rooms, all right?
Here you go.
That's up on your screen for you.
Go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can.
And you'll have a timer in your room, so it's going to count down for you.
All right.
As soon as I get these ladies all situated and make sure people all have someone in their room,
I'm going to go ahead and start to pray.
All right.
Thank you so much for this night.
We thank you, God, for revealings for healing that are happening.
We thank you for transforming our minds, our hearts, our bodies, our souls.
God, that you're turning.
Yeah.
Thank you, Lord.
I don't know why, but this scripture just came up, you know, how Jesus turned the water into wine.
It was his first miracle.
And I feel like that's significant a little bit tonight.
So Lord, we just thank you that you're the miracle worker.
Even where we don't see a way, God, we thank you that you're always working behind the scenes.
We thank you, God, that you would help increase our faith.
Yeah, Lord, we just ask you to breathe life and truth and healing into us.
Help us to hear what your spirit is saying.
God, we thank you that you would protect us from any onslaught of the enemy.
When the enemy comes in like a flood, God, we thank you that you raise up a standard against him
and that you cause him to flee seven ways.
We thank you, God, that our latter years are going to be greater than our former years.
And I thank you for the truth of that.
And we thank you, Lord, that you would help us to be a people that would live for you,
that we would walk in pathways of righteousness for your name's sake,
and that we would choose to repent and turn away from things that are not of you, Lord.
Things that don't look like you, that don't sound like you.
The things that I read even in that scripture,
that we would turn away from lifestyles of sin and wrong thinking, unhealthy thoughts and patterns, God,
and we would turn towards the fullness of your presence and your spirit.
God, we thank you that, yes, Lord, your word declares that you will hide us under the shadow of your wings
and in the presence of the Almighty, Lord, where the enemy has been really wreaking havoc against some of us.
We just thank you that you would help them to feel your presence in a supernatural way tonight.
We thank you, God, that you would surround them with, yes, Lord.
I just heard songs of praise that even the Lord would worship and dance over you.
In Zephaniah 3, 17, it talks about how he'll rejoice over us with singing.
Have y'all ever thought about that, the power of just the truth that God rejoices over us?
That he's singing over you right now?
He wants you to be set free.
He wants you to walk out of the prison and the cage and the places where you've been bound in the past,
that he's the bondage breaker.
And so tonight, we just thank you, Lord, that your truth would come and prevail in our hearts,
our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls, that your truth is what sets us free.
Yes, Lord, help us to come out of stinking thinking.
Any ways where we are just caught in negative cycles and patterns in our minds, suspicion.
Things that aren't of you, Lord. We thank you, God, that you're just coming in and bringing life and truth and hope and joy unspeakable and full of glory can be ours.
We thank you, Lord. Let's see, what scripture is this? I'm going to read this Colossians.
Oh, I started reading this earlier. We'll go ahead and read the full version.
And this is the message version, Colossians 3.13, but it's also going to be verse 14 as well.
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you.
Compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline, be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.
Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you, and regardless of what else you put on, wear love.
It's your basic all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
Wow, Lord, I thank you that you would cloak us in your love tonight.
I thank you, God, that you would help us to become more rooted and grounded in your love.
We know that your love is what casts out all fear because fear has to do with torment.
But when we're rooted in your love, Lord, that changes everything.
God, when you come on the scene, everything changes.
Yeah, Lord, thank you for the reality and the reminder that Jesus, you set us free.
That when you walk into the room, everything changes.
And we pause and we stand in awe and wonder of your majesty, of your goodness.
Yeah, Neo, that was Colossians, excuse me, 3.13 and 14 in the message translation, just so you know.
Oh, I love this scripture too. I used to pray this a lot.
Maybe I need to pray it a lot again.
Psalm 51.10 says this,
Father, we just ask you to come in and remove all the debris, remove all the darkness, Lord, that you would remove the gunk.
I'm just seeing kind of like a sludge, a black sludge.
Lord, we just thank you that you would just come in and rinse all that out.
Lord, we thank you that where we've been crimson red in the past, Lord, you make us white as snow.
God, we thank you for healing us from the inside out and that you're liberating us.
God, we thank you, God, that even while we sleep, that you would give us Salem rest,
that we would have dreams and visions of you, God, that you would meet us in the night hour to bring healing and resurrection power and life.
God, we thank you that you administer to us in every way.
Romans 8.28 in the Passion Translation says this.
God, we thank you for the designed and divine purpose that you have for us.
God, we thank you that you would help us to lay aside every weight that so easily ensnares us,
that we would press on toward the high calling of God for our lives.
Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord, help us to lay down the baggage, the luggage we've been carrying around,
the bitterness, the unforgiveness, again, the pain of the past, shame, guilt, condemnation,
that we would lay all those things down and allow you to fill us,
fill us to overflowing with your truth, with your life, with your goodness.
Isaiah 61.3 says to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.
God, we thank you that every area that's felt broken, that's felt barren,
that's felt like there's ash and just burnt up heartache.
Lord, we thank you that you bring beauty into all of those places, Lord,
and that you make them as if they never happened.
We thank you, God, that you're continuing to grow us through the power of your Holy Spirit.
We thank you that in 1 Peter 5.8, it does tell us to stay alert.
Watch out for your great enemy, the devil.
He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
He's not a lion. He's not the lion of the tribe of Judah.
He prowls around like a lion.
He's imitation, y'all. He's second class.
When we hear those kind of things, when the enemy's prowling around,
let us ask God to give us revelation and enlightenment
so that we can partner with the truth in Jesus' name.
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
That's okay, Mandy. It happens sometimes.
All right, so this is what we do for all of our new ladies.
Now that you've come back, we do group coaching right now.
So anyone that's willing to share with the whole group.
And ladies, when we share, try to keep it short, brief, and powerful,
but I try to do my best to do the same in coaching
so that we can get multiple people in here tonight.
Mandy, go ahead and kick us off. Thank you for that.
Okay.
I'm so sorry. I can get unmuted. Okay.
It's totally fine.
Okay. So of course, like the one day I don't wear makeup.
This is when I feel led to share.
Thank you.
Okay. So I accidentally exited out and I just like.
I don't know.
I'm going through.
This is really hard for me.
This whole friend thing.
So I'll try to be really short, long story short.
I had two best friends that I was in ministry with.
We did ministry for three years.
And they were twins.
So we hung out all the time and I realized with their friendship,
I became very isolated and lost a lot of other friends.
I've always had tons of women around me.
That's always been my personality.
And so, you know, I, I, you know,
I didn't feel like I belonged to all the things I just felt like.
This is my tribe, you know?
So I almost like left a lot of people.
Kind of behind.
Kind of things that they felt towards other people at our church to
kind of like tainted my view on others as well.
Anyway, one of my, one of the sisters,
her husband suddenly died from an overdose.
And she decided to, well, I don't.
She was 15 years younger than her.
So it was a really odd situation.
She told my brother how much she loved him.
A day after my grandpa had passed.
And she felt like it was.
She was trying to be helpful for him, but really,
I just felt really betrayed.
Fast forward a month later.
And my brother's telling me that he's going to marry my friend.
And just let me know that.
So I felt kind of like, I didn't know they were talking.
I didn't know they had like.
Did all these, like, you know, just late nights together, all this stuff.
And so, yeah, anyway, I felt really betrayed.
And my brother's telling me that he's going to marry my friend.
And just let me know that.
He's dating somebody else.
He's dating somebody else now.
Never even literally it was like a week after he told everybody.
He would realize how crazy the situation was and.
Ditched her.
And I mean, he's a hot mess, which I told her.
Like, what are you doing?
But anyway,
so I'm having a hard time because I just feel like I keep forgiving.
And I feel like I've always been.
Foolish for being.
As her.
I hindered my trust in women.
And I've never had trust issues like this and females.
I feel like I've always just looked at the positive and people.
And overlooked red flags. I'm really good at doing that.
So it's just been really hard.
Tell me more about why you feel foolish. Tell me more about this.
Yeah, I mean, I, I, I, I.
I ignore red flags. And I think after.
Her husband had passed.
A year and a half into our friendship.
I just kind of was like, I don't care.
About the red flags.
I'm going to have her back and I'm going to be with her because I was,
I was there the night that her husband.
So we were actually like on a.
Yeah.
Yeah. So I don't know. I think it was like,
I knew there was red flags.
And I knew there was like brokenness,
but then it's just one of those things where you're like, Oh,
we're all broken.
You know, like, Oh, we all have flaws. So, yeah.
When you met them.
Let me ask you.
If you don't know the answer, it's okay.
I don't know.
Even if it wasn't from a healthy place,
but what need and you got filled with these friends?
Stay.
So I met him in a woman's small group at our church originally.
And they do a like.
Oh, goodness.
In my opinion, it is new age. And so I've repented for it,
but it's like wrapped in Christian stuff.
And so I felt like they could help me.
With some things I was going through and they kind of reached out to me
like they could help with some things that my kids,
my daughter was dealing with at the time.
Okay. So what I actually hear is that.
in need. And they maybe took advantage of that, actually.
Yeah. Have you ever realized? I mean, have you ever really
allowed yourself to see? Not that they preyed on you? I don't
want it to be that that side of it. But there is a little bit
here where when I'm asking you, hey, what need did they like
what? Because typically, when we gravitate towards people like
that, and then we let go of other friends, even if they're
healthy friends, there's something going on there where
we're connecting, and we're getting a need met. And it's
causing us to get absorbed by that those people. Does that
make sense? Yeah. And so that's why I asked you that question.
And so to me, a just, you know, obviously processing forgiving
yourself, have you have you forgiven yourself for for these
things? Before I feel I feel like I have, but I don't know
why these emotions are still attached. I've done unhealthy
soul ties, severing, like all the things I know how to do. I
just don't know why. Yeah.
Maybe part of it is that, you know, even though you feel
foolish, remember that your feelings don't get to be in the
driver's seat. Okay. And so really partnering with grace
towards yourself that you're not foolish, you actually were,
you were in a place of wanting more healing. And unfortunately,
you just got connected to a place and people that were not
maybe the healthiest way to get that to you. Yeah. And so we all
at times make mistakes. And I think the thing that even on
that, as soon as I said that is like, it's like you're you don't
give yourself grace to make a mistake. Yeah. And because this
one hurts so deeply, that's where that you know, that
feeling of like, man, there's just a lot of tenderness there.
And your brother, this and now you and your brother aren't
talking, you know, there's just there's a lot there. And so I
think just from my my life journey, those are the kind of
situations that sometimes it's going to take a few times of
again, different layers of forgiving different layers of
healing, that you can give yourself permission to trust
again, not everybody's going to treat you the way that you were
treated in this dynamic. The tough part is like, you know,
you got to get your heart and your mind to line up, but the
Holy Spirit will help you do that. Yeah, we can't make that
happen. But it will happen in time. And so I do want to
encourage you to do forgiveness prayer sheets for both of those
sisters, even though there was one primary one. Yeah. And
specifically, you know, make sure you're writing on there
forgiving her for, you know, things that were said or, you
know, going to then date your brother, whatever, forgiving
your brother for dating her, whatever, anybody that's
connected there, but also for sure doing a sheet for yourself
and releasing yourself from, you know, this afternoon, I said
this example that some people have put themselves in prisons,
and they, they've kind of locked themselves in there. And that's
coming up, even as I'm talking to you tonight, tonight, like,
it's like, you're like, there's this subconscious internal
punishment happening. Does that make sense? And the word is, is
wanting you to see tonight that the prison like you were never
supposed to be in there to begin with, but the doors open and
literally you can walk out. Amen. And the walking out is the
first step, the feelings will follow later. Yeah. Okay. I'm
so glad you're, you're welcome. You're welcome. And you know,
ladies, it's really important to pray and start thanking God for
sending you healthy friends that walk in all the fruits of the
spirit before they come. Same thing with your spirit mate.
God, thank you for sending my spirit mate. Thank you for
letting him be a man that walks in all the fruits of the spirit.
Thank you for letting him be a man that, you know, is, is going
to be highlighted to me and I'm going to be highlighted to him.
You can pray about that. Even while you're in heartwork, don't
get so caught on it that you're missing the heartwork and you're
chasing men right now. But what I am saying is you can pray and
believe for those things to come before they get here. All right.
Awesome. Leslie, we'd love to hear what you have to say.
Okay. Hi. Hi. First of all, where's that forgiveness
worksheet? Is it in the book?
Good question. So when y'all go into the last year single app,
and you go into the welcome section, all of the worksheets
are there under the welcome section for you. But it is also
under week four. And ladies who just started, you don't have to
jump ahead to week four, because there's a lot of work that's
they're under the welcome section for you. That's why we ended up putting them there.
So yeah, great question. Okay. So another question I have is, do we know
that we still need to forgive if we're triggered by that person?
I mean, yeah, sometimes that's going to be the signal for sure. Sometimes though,
the reason I hesitated is sometimes somebody's going to trigger you,
but you're actually, you have unforgiveness or wounds that's connected to someone else.
But something about that person in that situation reminds you of the other stuff.
Does that make sense? And so really pray, if there's someone that's coming to mind for you,
pray and ask the Holy Spirit, like, hey, do I need to forgive this person? Is there another
area that I need to process and heal and forgive them and release them? Or did I get triggered,
Lord? Because it reminds me of something else that's happened in my life. Like just ask the
Lord. And I typically even ask the Lord, if I get offended at people, I'll say, Lord,
why is this offending me? I just ask him and he shows me normally. Yeah. Good question.
Very good question. Yeah. I would say my forgiveness that I need probably more layers is
with my mom because I moved in with her two years ago and to help take care of her. She's 86. And
normally I'm doing okay and able to set boundaries with her. But recently I kind of lost my cool,
became spoke more aggressively than assertively. And it's it, you know, came but went back to
feeling not good enough, feeling inadequate, defective, you know, all of those things that
I felt growing up. So. Okay, that's very specific things that you felt growing up.
So that tells me that there's some things from when you grew up that still needs some
healing and some attention. Okay. And, and I will say it's, it's not shocking to me that,
you know, you're living with mom and now you're getting triggered
and has the triggering accelerated since you began the heartwork.
Yes. Yes. And you know what I thought was really cool. The biggest supernatural thing that I
noticed since I started the heartwork is I didn't even know that I needed my heart softened.
And as it softened, then things bother me more because I don't have that shell. Yes.
Where I normally I can just be like, Oh, and set a boundary this time. I was like,
Yes. And Leslie, you're touching on something that's really important ladies. I hope that
you're paying attention to what she's saying. As you're healing your heart, the callousness
in that hard outer shell, that's going to start to come off. And so there are going to be times
where you're going to be like, Whoa, you're going to have all these emotions and you're
going to feel all this stuff. Some of you have been numb for a really long time. So
yeah, there's going to come a balancing though. There will, you'll rebalance as you continue to
heal and process, but you are going to have things like be like highlighted to you that you haven't
seen before. All right. And so that's why I like, as soon as you said that, like things from when
you were younger are now percolating to the surface here because of what's being triggered.
Okay. And so that's where you can write. Then that's a signal that the stuff from when you're
younger, God wants to put some attention there with you. He wants to come in and heal that stuff.
And so any, whatever's coming up, I encourage you to process that with the Lord. You might need to
do forgiveness sheets for some of those things. You might need to ask the Lord for further
revelation on it. Are there any dots he wants to connect for you to help? You know, it like,
what's going to help you step into healing and releasing that person or those situations or
hearing what is he saying to you in the midst of that situation versus what that person was saying.
Does that make sense? Yes. Great question. Lots of great questions. You guys are doing great. Thank
you so much for sharing Leslie. Karen, go ahead.
Sorry. Am I the Karen? I guess I'm the only Karen. I'm sorry. I should have said your last name.
It's okay. It's hard to say. It's okay. No problem. Yeah. I am. I love how the Lord is bringing stuff
up as I'm doing this. Okay. I'm just, I've had decades of the Lord leading and inner healing,
and I'm fine. Whatever, God. So the main thing the Lord's been leading me.
to deal with first, before any kind of spirit-made thing,
is it basically is continuing to...
Really, it's about speaking the truth in love
with some senior leaders at my church,
where there's been dominating,
and more recently, a controlling behavior,
which I've said no to in different ways,
but bringing full resolve there.
And the Lord has been leading me in it.
There's been good fruit,
but what something that came up just Monday,
a week ago Monday, I had...
So I'm dealing with a lot.
I had a dream that helped me see something
that I didn't see inside me,
a part of me that felt so much pain about them.
And it was basically,
it was like I knew I couldn't take it out on them,
so I was gonna take it out on me.
And I woke up with that, and I went, okay, Lord, help.
And I did something called internal family systems.
The Lord's taught me.
It's like being aware of different parts inside me,
and asking Jesus to come help and heal.
So the Lord led me in that.
I've been in a process.
The next morning, I came to peace.
Next morning, I was angry,
and I did anger work and intercession.
On that same day, I talked with a friend.
The Lord led me.
I've just had feelings come up.
I've been doing my part.
So the conclusion is,
like just Saturday, I did something called Emanuel Way.
It's like Emanuel journaling, listening to the Lord,
and then sharing with someone else about what I'm hearing.
And I came to a lot of peace and joy out of that.
So it's been like, it's a process of the Lord
unearthing stuff,
and then I'm getting all the support I need, and I'm here.
So whatever else I need.
Yes.
So would you say that God is showing you,
because what you said is the dream revealed something
in you.
Yes.
So are you, is your step forgiving yourself?
Is that what's happening?
It wasn't about forgiving myself.
It was actually helping this part of me
to not take it out on myself.
I mean, I actually, in the dream,
this part of me just said, I might as well just,
I mean, you know, die.
It was pretty radical.
And the Lord, when the Lord came in,
I had compassion in the dream.
I had compassion on myself, which I know is good.
And when the Lord came in,
the Lord actually brought this part of me back to life.
It's like a resurrection type thing.
It was pretty radical.
So who are you forgiving?
Are you forgiving them?
Are you forgiving?
That's what I'm trying to come to.
Okay, gotcha, gotcha.
I'm actually aware of ongoingly,
whenever I have a negative thought or feeling,
it's like, Lord, I forgive them from my heart.
Help me do it.
I bless them.
I love them.
Help me say all the good things about them.
So it's that, that's the main thing, I think.
Okay.
That's really great, Karen.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
That's awesome.
Yeah, it helps to share it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
And y'all, this is really awesome.
As y'all were in the breakouts,
one of the things I prayed is that God would minister
to you all in your dreams
and that you would have revelation
even while you're sleeping
and that God would do supernatural surgery, if you will.
And so we're believing for that for you.
And so you may have an increase of dreams.
If you didn't hear that already,
that will most likely happen while you're here.
I do want Teresa to know,
so when y'all go to raise your hand,
if you hover over the bottom of your screen,
like for me on my computer, the raise hands right there,
but you might have to click more or reactions,
but that should be there for you.
I'm gonna do my best to get through several people here
without cutting people short in like six minutes,
just to give you all the activation.
If there's any people that need to leave right at 9.30,
the activation this week is literally
to choose to forgive the person
God is putting on your heart tonight, to forgive,
to use the forgiveness prayer sheets
to process that forgiveness,
and then come into the group and tell us
who did you forgive and why.
Now, when you share, you all share about your situation,
but you don't gotta share gory details, okay?
So just so everyone understands,
a lot of people have been through a lot of deep trauma.
We want you to share about what you've been through,
but just when I say that, what I mean is like,
if you've been abused,
you don't have to tell us the details of the abuse.
Does that make sense, what I'm saying, everyone?
Because what we don't want, forgiveness week,
we don't want a bunch of people in the group getting.
triggered. But we want you to feel free to share your your story. Okay. All right. So that's the
activation this week. It's pretty easy in the sense of it's one. I'm only giving you one this
week. But for some of you, there might be several people you need to forgive. And so that might feel
tough, but you can do it. You've got this. All right. I'm going to go to Meg R. She's new tonight.
Meg would love to hear what you have to say. Thanks for knowing I'm new.
So first, I wanted to say 1000% everything that was shared tonight was for me at a very critical
time in my life. I'm moving cross country. I've been away from my family 20 years, I'm going back.
And I'm going to be staying with my family while I get my feet on the ground. And no,
there are no definite plans for anything aside from showing up at this point. And the last 24
hours have been really questioning my sanity type moments. My sister and my mom historically have.
First of all, the Lord has brought me from a lot of victim to survivor to overcomer in
many areas of my life. I love forgiving people because I love freeing myself from that noose.
Yeah. And I do not want my life to be controlled by anything other than the Spirit of God and what
he has for my future. But something that I wasn't really, I guess, preparing for is that my sister
and my mother's gaslighting is continuous. And now I'm going to be in the house with my mother
and my sister down the road. And in the last 24 hours, the exhaustion, like coming against my body
combating back and forth, back and forth, you feel like you're just getting hit. And this
unaccountable level of anger is just surging. And I forgive, I release, I let go. And it's like the
Lord showed me have to forgive not just for the past, but for the current insults that are keeping
on happening. And you said something very interesting, Bethany. You were talking about
generational spirit of unforgiveness. And I knew that I'm the only one in all my generations
going after God, historically, as far back as I remember. And I know that all that generational
stuff, in addition to my own unforgiveness, is trying to sit on me and make me react.
And then when I do react, I was on the phone with my best friend today, just weeping and saying,
I am no good for anything. I'm no good for anybody. I'm just a wallflower. Why would
anybody want to see me? Sorry. It's all right. So I wasn't intending to do that. And of course,
she was being the truth. But I realized that that's the goal. When they do that gaslighting,
that is the enemy's goal behind it, to get me to that place where I'm a victim,
where there is no hope for me, where I'm going to be stuck in that house with my mother with
no future. And my whole life, that's been the goal. And I wanted to share because it's like
when you were talking about the generational curses, and me just seeing this whole vortex
of hell just kind of trying to come on me when those things happen, it created alternative
reality growing up, where I actually believed that about myself and believed that was God's
best for me to be nobody, to be never noticed, to be never anything. When in reality, it's all
a lie, even though it feels true. And so you got to make a decision. I got to make a decision against
my feelings all the time, every day until my new reality becomes the truth everywhere in my warp
and woof. Yes. So I have no idea how I'm going to do this going home. But I needed these keys tonight
so badly. And I'm so thankful. I hope this helps somebody else, too. I'm so glad that you shared.
So just so that I know, Meg, you have to move in with your mom? I'm retired on medical disability.
I have Lyme disease, almost killed me twice, derailed my career. So it's been a big everything.
And I don't really have any other friends where I could go to start off with. I do know
that it's a way station. It's a get my feet back under me, start to make community. I already have
plans to be doing different things and getting connected in different areas. And the reconnect
with family, never been around my nieces and nephews before because I've been away.
So at first, I don't have another place to go. Okay. I'm just asking.
so that I know, so we can be praying for you specifically about some things.
So here's one of the things, ladies, too, that's super important.
While yes, 100%, what I was talking about is how things can come down through generations,
but here's the reality as well. God can redeem our timelines,
okay, and can use us to create generational blessings. And so I want you to understand that
when you might feel that way, God is also there warring on your behalf. You're not in that alone.
And so even in the way we perceive our struggles, I don't know about you all,
sometimes you just feel something really like heavy physically. I've been through that.
But the reality is, is that the things that I'm thinking also play a role in that.
All right. And so really reframing our minds, I'm going to say that it would be really good
for you to ask the Lord, even though you know, it's not true. When the pressure happened and
that got applied, what came out is I'm not good for anything. And I am just a wallflower. And
I forget exactly how else you said that. But the one in particular, I want you to spend some time
on this week is I am no good for anything. I want you to pray and ask the Lord, when is the first
time you believed that lie and partnered with it? Okay. When's the first time. And that's not just,
don't use your mind to identify that. Ask the Holy spirit, ask the Lord to reveal that. And
he will show you and you want that healing to come in that first place. Because if that wasn't still
needing to be healed, it wouldn't have come out like that. Thank you. Thank you. That's so helpful.
Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. And you all, you know, I would say to Meg plan a lot of
time, not in the house as much as possible. Yep. You need to be out as much as you can. And even
though you have some things physically you're overcoming, I know that can maybe come into play
there. Um, even if you just go to a park, I don't know what the weather's going to be like where
you're going, but you know, and just be somewhere where there's sun and there's outside or, you know,
whatnot, but just try to be around the toxicity as little as possible. All right. That's a
wonderful confirmation. Thank you. You're welcome. Uh, is it Yesenia? Yesenia? I'm so sorry. Tell me
how to say your name. Yesenia. Yesenia. Thank you. Would love for you to share. Um, so in the breakout
room I was sharing, um, so just kind of a little bit of backstory. Um, my parents got divorced when
I was 12 and my dad left after that. Um, I haven't seen him or heard from him in probably like 25
plus years. And my brother, I have a younger brother. He had reached out to him about a month
and a half ago and he came up to see us, um, for the first time in first time I've heard or seen
him in 25 plus years. Um, so it was this weekend and, um, you know, I've done a lot of, you know,
I feel like I've forgiven him. Um, I had a lot of years of just, um, anger and I, I took out a lot
of that on my mom. Um, but you know, when I was a teenager and stuff, but I had a lot of years of
just anger. So when I saw him, um, I didn't, I didn't have anger, but I did have some emotions
that came up. Um, just the, almost the residual, like the, the, how I've done life, you know,
I've recognized now the way I have done life, the way it has affected my relationships with men,
how I have viewed myself, all of that. Um, that's what came up was, were those feelings of
how I have felt stuck because of him not being there and how it affected my life. Yeah. Um,
so I told him that, you know, I, I did forgive him. Um, but it was just, you know, I didn't
realize all the stuff I had done, honestly, until this year, just how I have, um, I've cut
off emotions. I've pushed people away. I've built up all these walls, um, specifically with men.
Um, so that's something that, you know, it just happened to be the timing. Yeah. I honestly never
thought I'd see him or, or, um, see him again or hear from him again. And it just happened to be
on this weekend. Okay. Well, I think it's really timely that we talked about forgiveness tonight
too, to help you continue to process some of those things. And, um, I think what I've
want to say about what you shared, it is true. We go
through consequences because of other people's decisions, right?
But not, how do I want to say this, because I want to be
delicate, because I can like you're in this really fresh,
raw place regarding your dad. But one of the things that I
think is going to be really important for you to take your
power back, is for you to not blame him for all of that. And
so I really want you to start asking the Lord to help you
separate, you know, yes, your dad left. Yes, that was hard.
Yes, that hurt you. And it caused you to choose things that
weren't probably healthy in a lot of different ways. But, you
know, Lord, show me the times that you Lord were showing me to
not go into something or not put my walls up or not block
people out. But I chose to do it anyways, where you can start to
separate. And again, this isn't to be down on yourself. But I
want you to use this so that you can take some of your power
back. Because right now what's happening is the enemy is having
you blame your dad for all of that. And you have no power.
Yeah, that makes sense. What I'm saying, when we own our
side of the street, you can't own the side of the street
regarding your dad leaving, there's nothing you can do
there, you have nothing to own in that. Okay, so I want to be
very clear on that. But after that, when you became old
enough, after the age of accountability, you all when we
get to be 18, and we know better. That's when we have to
really look at okay, and even if we didn't fully know better,
like even myself, I had a lot of healing to do even in my mid
30s and 40s. Y'all, I'm just about to be 47. But just there's
a lot of healing. But before that, there man, there's some
mistakes that I made just because of the absolute
brokenness that I came out of. But I still have to own those.
Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. And when I did, I took a
part of myself back. And I didn't give the people that
harmed me all of the power, which ultimately, as you know,
it's the enemy through them. Right. And so I think this week
is going to be about you taking some of your power back. Taking
back like parts that, okay, yeah, in this decision, like
God, you were showing me and I chose. Does that make sense?
Yeah. Okay. And just, you know, doing the forgiveness prayer
sheet regarding your dad leaving, and potentially
forgiving him for, you know, wounds of abandonment,
rejection, neglect, anything that comes up for you regarding
your dad leaving that then fed into those other things. Yeah,
absolutely forgive him for that stuff. Yeah, yeah, you're
welcome. And I know it can be tough you all because and I
don't ever want anyone to think like, I don't think it's your
dad, or your fault that your dad left. So hopefully you hear
that. But what decisions did we make after these people heard us
when we were old enough to know different or that God was
speaking to us, and he was trying to lead us in a
different direction. And we chose. That's the
differentiation I'm trying to make there tonight with that.
Yeah. And this is for other people to not just you. Yeah.
Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. We're gonna be
praying for you. And let me let me ask you this other question.
Are you planning on seeing your dad again? How did that end up?
Um, he wants to establish a relationship. So I kind of left
it in his court, like, you know, I'm open. I'm there to
reciprocate the relationship. So.
All right. All right. Well, we'll be praying for you. You
know, God loves reconciliation you all when the person is
healthy. Okay, God loves reconciliation all the time. But
you know, for us, God also wants us to be in healthy
connection with people. If anyone needs to jump off, it's
totally okay. But I am going to do a couple more. I probably I'm
going to tell you, I've 123456789. Nine people left, I'm
probably not going to get through nine of you. Please no
one get your feelings hurt. Okay, I'm really sorry. I just
know that to hear your story, I'm probably not going to be
able to get through all of you. But I'll do as many as I can.
Okay. All right. Um, let's see. Christina Bernard.
Hi. Hi. So, in my group, I was talking about my parents. And I
mean, that's been bringing me on this interesting journey for a
year or so. But I don't like my
parents. And I know I talked to my mom, but I don't actually
talk to my dad. I haven't talked to my dad in many years. But I
actually joined the program because God told me very clearly
I have to talk to him next year. And I can do that with a
husband or without a husband, but either way, it was going to
happen, right? And I've been on a journey with him and
obedience and, and what does that mean in action? And so I
guess for me, figuring out what forgiveness needs to look like
in that context, because I don't like my father, like he's very
manipulative, like compared to my mom, like I have issues with
my mom, but we've been able to communicate over the years
talking, like, we're working on healing, but he's more
manipulative. And I have siblings, and they understand my
perspective. And they've been trying to figure out their
perspective on it as well. But how do you how do you do that?
And, and what does that need to look like? In context, you know,
parental things, and it's not that I'm blaming him for my
existing life, because I've made a lot of changes. Really
hard for like, I rechanged my friend group several years ago.
So a few years without friends, and then I got more Christian
friends and stopped doing behaviors. It's just I don't
like him as a person. So and I know I have to be in
relationship with him. Like I don't get the option to opt out
anymore. From next year, about next summer, I think is the
calling God has for me. And so how do you
understand there's there's something I want a different
help you see here. God isn't going to force you to do
anything. Okay? God might be inviting you into that. But I
want you to know that it doesn't mean that you have to necessarily
hang out with your dad. Okay? It might mean that, but I don't
think it always has to mean that. So I want you to really
be open to what the Holy Spirit shows you like you're asking me
what is forgiveness look like in this context? Well, I think the
first step is choosing to forgive and then letting the
Lord lead you into what it's going to look like because I
could say a blanket statement right now and say, Oh, it's
going to look like this. But every situation is so different.
And if I say, Oh, this is what it's going to look like, then
I'm just going to make this up. Maybe Leah has something God's
saying to her that's totally different than what God is
saying to you. And so it can't always just be a blanket
statement. But what I can say is that choosing to forgive
doesn't mean we have to like, like people. What do I mean by
that God calls us to love people. But that doesn't mean we
have to just constantly be around someone that's toxic.
There is there is healthiness and boundary setting. I think I
said it last week, even Jesus set boundaries. Now, if the Lord
is leading you, so for example, I'll use my own life. The Lord
has asked me to minister to my family, my brothers, my sister,
my brothers were my main abusers. Yeah, that's hard. I
don't really like it. I don't feel physically good when I go
around them. But I go prepared. And with my mindset, right to
minister, whatever that's going to look like. God didn't force
me into that, though. It was an invitation. And so it wasn't
like I felt pushed into it. Does that make sense? Why I'm saying
that to you?
Yes. But I guess I get that as invitation, but I know it's the
invitation I have to accept. And I don't know. Like, I think for
me, because being in the course, I've learned over the past few
weeks that I haven't actually decided to change my life. Like
I've said it, but I haven't. And I've been doing actions of
survival, if that makes sense to do those changes, versus actions
of thriving. And I think for me, in order to thrive, I have to
decide I'm not surviving anymore. And so in order for me
not to survive, I need to say, okay, this has to happen. And I
think that's why it's coming up. I didn't know that before I got
to this course. But and especially after you said what
you said earlier, I'm realizing I can be perfectly fine without
doing that. And I can have the boundaries. But if I don't want
to survive anymore, because I like quit my job last April,
been on this wild journey with God is strange, moved back home,
a lot of stuff happened. But I realized that it's over the past
few sessions that I'm just surviving. And what and I haven't
decided to do thriving, and I'm being invited into, okay, if I'm
not going to live previously, like I was, what do the next 30
years need to look like? Because I built a whole survival
parameter around how do I get out of this situation in my own
power, right? And if I'm not in my own power, I have to be in
God's power. And if God is saying I need to forgive my dad,
and there's going to be
something there, I think I just have to do it.
If that makes sense.
Yeah, and it helps to have you explain it out
because I wanna make sure that even in the I have to,
I understand what you're saying spiritually, okay?
I know that you're saying God is asking me to do this
and I need to walk in obedience to that.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah.
So to me, that's different than I have to.
God is inviting you and you're choosing to obey.
Do you see the difference in the language there, ladies?
I know it's such a small thing, but it's a big deal.
God is inviting you and ultimately,
this is what I'm getting at.
If you chose not to, God would love you the same.
It doesn't mean you don't choose to forgive,
but what I hear you saying is that you feel like
forgiving is connected to being with him,
if I'm understanding what you're saying correctly.
And that might be true, and God might completely,
radically heal your relationship and all of that,
set your dad free, who knows what's gonna happen?
So yes, absolutely, obey, forgive, walk in that
and see what God does, but make sure that your heart
is shifting out of I have to do this
to God is asking me and I'm choosing to obey.
I'm choosing.
It's really important, it goes back to what I was saying
to Eusinia, when you're saying I have to do this,
you have no power and God is forcing you,
and that's not true.
We have free will, everybody has free will to choose.
So you're choosing, you're choosing to follow him
and walk in obedience to what he's showing you.
And ladies, when we do that, sometimes it leads
really into these beautiful redemptive things and whatnot.
So keep us posted on how that goes as you choose to forgive,
that's step number one, okay?
And yeah, let's just see where else God leads,
this is really good, Christina.
Thanks for sharing.
All right, I'm probably gonna take two more,
and again, I'm so sorry for the ladies
that I didn't get to tonight.
If you want to process with me in the group,
please go in there and share,
and I will give you feedback there
on what your situation was and what you wanna process.
So I'm gonna go with Joey,
because I don't think I've ever heard from Joey before.
So am I on?
Okay, hi, okay, so I was divorced about,
so in 2021, and a lot of trauma from that marriage,
betrayal, abandonment, neglect,
a lot of alcohol use, all of that.
And so interesting though, last week,
I don't know what happened, but I,
and I've done a lot of work,
I mean, just in the last four years to get through that.
But it was interesting, and what I was kind of mentioning
in the group is that a gentleman hit on me,
and there was just something about him that triggered me.
And I think there were some similarities,
I think, from my ex.
But I think the thing that really bothered me
was that I think what I need,
because I've forgiven him, like I, we've even talked,
I mean, we've done a lot of forgiveness,
but just because that's just kind of my heart,
I don't, not gonna hang on to it.
So, but I think what happened was,
in that moment, I just felt like,
oh, I would never be in this situation,
you know, if he wouldn't have done that.
Okay.
So again, had to sit back again and forgive him again.
You know, so there was just this moment
where like, if this just keeps kind of,
this is probably the one thing I think
that just has circled back a couple times,
but I've had to kind of really,
because I can never figure out what it is,
because it's not, you know, I mean,
the actual acts and those type of things,
the things that happen, I mean, those things,
that's not what it is, it's the underlying.
Did anyone else in your, did your parents divorce
or anyone else close to you?
Okay, so there's not any kind of residual stuff
left over from that, that's kind of clinging, okay.
I just wanna make sure.
Um, yeah, I mean, I think sometimes it's just,
even underlying, let me ask you this,
here's something else that's coming up in my spirit
without saying it, I wanna ask you a question first.
So when that came up in you.
and you like, I would never be in this situation if he had never done that.
So how would you describe the feeling that you had? Are you saying you felt embarrassed? Are you
saying that you felt angry? Tell me what your feeling was. I think it's more of a disappointment.
You know, I think there's just a level of, you know, because I mean, he is out and I think
there's a little bit where he's still out doing his thing and he is who he is and I've just
accepted that. I'm like, there's nothing I can do, you know, and we have old, you know,
we have a daughter and she went through a lot of difficulty with it too, just trauma because he
kind of abandoned her at 16 years old and pretty much said, well, you're 16 and you have a car,
so I don't need to be here anymore. It's kind of, but he was also drinking a lot. So there was just
a lot of, you know, I know the drinking played a huge part in a lot of what happened. But I think
for me, it's just more disappointment. I think just because, and I think I'm also,
all my kids are grown and I'm an empty nester. And so now I'm like, Oh,
how, how recent is the empty nester? Is it just like, just recent?
It was actually the same year that my, no, the following year. So 2022.
Okay. Yeah. And then my daughter moved back in with me for just a little bit,
just because she kind of went through some of her own issues kind of from this, but now she's
doing so much better on her own. So there's been some really good blessings. And I mean,
the one thing I have noticed, I've become, I've come so much closer to the Lord through this
whole entire process, which has been a blessing. Um, and, but I, yeah, there was just, I mean,
it did trigger me, but I think there was also one thing I was really proud of myself is that
I discerned him so quickly. I was like, he didn't even really have to say much. I,
and he was claiming, you know, and he is probably a Christian, but he was
quoting scripture and all kinds of stuff, but just, I had like this inkling about, I just felt
it. And I was like, and he confirmed it very quickly. So, um, so that was actually, that was
a win for me. So I was like, Oh, well, I definitely want marriages to succeed. Um,
to me, when I hear you talking, it sounds like God went on a rescue mission.
And so I feel like there's a lot of themes tonight about the verbiage and the way we're saying
things and the way that we're thinking about things. Well, I understand what you're saying.
If he had never done the things he had done, you would still be with him,
but based off of what you're telling me, it wasn't a happy, healthy marriage.
No. So let's kind of unpack that a little bit, ladies. Why would we want to be back with
something? So what is that getting out at the core? Okay. Who are we without these people that
are unhealthy? Why would we want, why would we, you know, want to even partner with the lie that,
Hey, if they hadn't done this, I'd still be with them. Well, yeah, you would be, but would,
would you be healthy? Would you be thriving? Would you be fulfilled? And again, I'm always,
you know, of course for covenant, but that there's a lot of things in that did not sound covenant.
Right. And I think that was part, like I, you know, he, I am very strong believer in marriage
and like you, you fight for it. He did not. But again, you know, I look at it and I'm like,
you know, when you have substance abuse and all kinds of things going on, it's not something that,
that doesn't help, you know? And that's a spirit that, I mean, that's a spirit that's attached.
And I, you know it's just, you know, it is what it is, but no, and it was not a great marriage.
And I think part of it was, it's just, you know, you have this, like you kind of mentioned earlier,
like this fantasy in your head, like, Oh, the kids leave, you just started doing all the vacations
and you started doing all the things. And then, you know, and now I'm like,
okay, I'm not quite doing that. And it's been a rough few years. I mean, just in the sense of
healing my, you know, my daughter going to kind of, I mean, I mean, drinking a bottle of vodka
a day, like, and she's 21. I mean, I had to bring her into my house and just, because I mean,
she would not go into treatment. So, but she's, it's amazing by the grace of God. Like, I mean,
he healed her. I just prayed and prayed and prayed and, you know, and I mean, and so I've seen all
these miracles happen with him, which has been wildly amazing, you know? And it's like, I see
this like restoration and redemption happening for my family. Yeah. You know, he's not so much
included, but like, you know, my kid, like, I just see this beautiful thing happening.
But then when I, this gentleman, I just noticed it.
I mean, and so there was like two things that kind of happened.
That thought came up and then the other thought was like,
I was so proud of myself that I caught it.
I was like,
for sure.
And I heard that part of it.
Yeah.
And I did hear that part, but the Lord wants me to go after some other stuff.
And so I want you to really look at where you're partnering with the lie that,
you know, Hey, I'm in this situation just because of him, where God like
literally set you free and you're saying, okay, which again, I want you to hear it.
Like I understand.
Cause I processed a lot of things in the past that you're,
that you're talking about where we have these dreams and we think something's
going to happen a certain way.
And then it's not like that.
And so we kind of feel like it's all their fault.
If they had just done this and we'd be together, if they, you know,
my ex, if he had just gotten help.
Well, who knows what is cause anxiety and they feed into the lies and
things that we're believing.
And so one of the things I wrote down, as you said, I fantasize that we'd be
going on vacations and trips and all that.
And I hear you saying, you know, you couldn't because your daughter, but
guess what, your daughter's healed now.
And so when are you going to plan a vacation to go on a trip?
Well, this is funny because, well, I was one that said I laughed at myself today.
So, um, so I ended up last year, I had brain surgery.
I had a tumor in my head that should have been paralyzed.
I should have been paralyzed all on the left side.
Um, and ended up having cancer on it.
Um, got it removed.
They said, Oh, there was cancer in it, wanted to do chemo radiation.
And I just knew that God, God had healed it.
Like, I'm like, it's not coming back.
I already knew, like, it was just so knowing.
And so I, it is not, it's, there's nothing there.
And this tumor was so big.
Yeah.
So I'm like, God has just done some wild stuff for me.
He's like, it's so crazy.
I have spent, and it's weird.
He gave me like from, and this was just in December last year.
I had this, this surgery.
And so, um, I have gone from, um, so all January, all
December, January, February, March.
I mean, I lost my job in March.
Um, and the crazy thing is I went back to work a week later,
but I lost my job in March.
God had just, he like provided for me all the way through.
I just got a new job again.
Um, but it's been so well, this is the funny part.
I actually, there was something kind of going on with me in between all this,
where it's kind of like, what just happened, like all of this stuff, but
there were so many, so many good things.
Cause God healed me.
And so, but it was funny because.
I'm just sitting here today and I'm like, you know, and I don't know if
there was something in my, my mind, like, oh gosh, like it's almost like
my blessings are used up because God like healed me from cancer and like
brain, like this huge brain surgery that everyone looks at me and goes like a
month later, my brain was completely healed and they're like, okay, what just
happened?
And I had so much peace during it.
Um, I wasn't fearful at all.
So weird.
Um, and this whole entire, the last few months.
And I just had this thing where I just busted.
It was almost like I saw God, like, you know, Jesus staring at me and he just
raised his eyebrow when I thought, well, you kind of, you know, I mean, a marriage
promise, like, again, like, I don't know, like, I mean, I just, you just healed me.
You healed my daughter.
You did all these things, you know?
So I was like, so grateful, but I, it's like, he gave me the, like the one
eyebrow up, you know, like I almost saw his face, like, are you serious right now?
And so I just busted out laughing.
Cause I'm like, okay.
Like, it's not like his blessings are dried up now because I did all this, you
know, so that's kind of where, and it's like, I just had this breakthrough moment
the last few days where it's just been like, I've released so much where it just
feels so good and I can now start.
I'm like, oh, I think I want to do this.
I think I'm going to go to Nashville.
Why don't I try that?
Why don't you know, it's so different.
And I haven't had that forever.
That's really good.
So I wrote down as you were sharing more live again, time for you to choose to live
And, um, Hey ladies, just FYI, God's blessings.
Don't run.
They don't run out.
They don't dry up.
We don't get to a place where he's like, oh, I blessed you too much
daughter, so you're cut off now.
Okay.
That's not how it works.
So let's just make sure we like, it sounds like you're already on your way to like,
you knew that was kind of Lord's like, okay, yeah, that's not truth.
Um, so praying that you continue to receive the truth that, you know, he wants
to continue to work in your life.
And, and honestly, uh, it sounds like you're just getting started in the
blessing zone, um, and God is going to continue to bless and minister and heal.
And, uh, it looks forward.
I look forward to seeing some photos if you go to Nashville and go on a trip,
but just that you really choose to, and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money.
Ladies.
When I say this kind of stuff, if I feel led.
say, Hey, when you're going on trip, don't feel like that means
you have to spend a lot of money, but maybe it's just even
a day trip, you go somewhere new that you've never been. And you
allow yourself to really start to adventure out because you
don't have to wait for your spirit mate to do that. Okay.
And it's actually important for y'all to do it before your
spirit mate comes so that you learn more about yourself.
Because even if you were married before some of y'all like didn't
even know who you were when you got married. And then a bunch of
stuff happened. And so this is like a discovery time for you to
get to know yourself and grow. All right, y'all. We're at 10
o'clock 10 o'clock Eastern. So I'm gonna have to close this out
tonight. We went way long again, but I wanted to give some extra
time because we had a lot of people. Please come into the
group and share with me. We'll be back again live next week.
And I'll try to teach a little less next week. So that we have
more time for the coaching and get more people in. Thanks for
your grace tonight on those of you that did not get to share.
Love you. And I look forward to seeing your post the community
tab. So when you go into the app, the community tab there.
All right, let me pray for us. Father, thank you so much for
this night. We thank you God for we thank you God for truth. We
thank you God for life. We thank you for joy unspeakable and full
of glory being ours. I thank you God that your word says that
those who love you that we can experience the goodness of God
in the land of the living. God, I thank you that we don't have to
fear what come it was going to come tomorrow. We don't even
have to worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry
about its own things. All we have to do is, is take one day
at a time. So Lord, I pray even as the ladies go to sleep
tonight, that you administer healing. And yes, Lord, yes,
Lord, life, joy, that peace would be theirs. God, you are
the God of peace. And we just thank you that your peace would
wash over them in a fresh way. Or that you administer to them
in the in the night hours, God, that they would hear your voice
God that they would. Yes, Lord, be quick into your word, that
they would hunger and thirst for your righteousness for your
word to get to know you more to grow in intimacy with you,
Father. And we just thank you Lord for bringing life to every
dead situation. And Lord, we just thank you for resurrection
power in the midst of every person's situation that we
talked about or even didn't hear about tonight. But God, you know
all of it. So Lord come into those places and minister life
minister healing we place the balm of Gilead upon every wound
and Jesus name. Amen. God bless you all. I will see you in the
groups. Have a good night, everyone. Thank you. Good night.