Welcome to Men's Heart Check-in, June 20th.
If you were not on before and you're hearing this in replay,
we're getting a recap or a catch-up on David's low three to low one situation,
and so continue on.
Yeah. Could be a low two.
I actually forget the levels of relationships.
Low one, are you still dating?
Are you still talking?
I told her I just needed a few days.
You're in level two because level one is you know this person.
Okay. Well, then I mislabeled that.
Level two is you are connecting intentionally,
and level two,
there's a wide range there because you're connecting intentionally,
but not necessarily exclusive.
Even though you could be exclusive in level two,
in terms of progressing into level three,
which is, hey,
I'm interested in you and you only,
I'm not necessarily trying to date other people or talk to other people or interested.
I really want to pursue you specifically both,
and that's a very mutual thing.
That's level three.
Level four, level three,
all the way up into engagement.
Level four is engagement.
Level five, married.
For those of you who have never known what those levels are,
that's how we look about it,
and there are some other nuances there to relationship levels,
just to be able to define the relationship a little bit.
I do want to say welcome, Joshua Pickles.
Is this your first time to Men's Heart Check-in?
Hello. Yeah. First time.
I was in Jackie's VIP thing, I think.
Yeah, no, I'm aware of that,
but as far as this particular meeting session,
this is Men's Heart Check-in.
Yeah, specific.
Yes.
Cool. Awesome.
Welcome, Josh.
This is what we do,
just jump in here.
Some of us guys have been doing this for a while,
and we are just getting updates.
We just dive in real quickly,
and I just want to make sure that you understand
what's going on.
We process each other's stuff.
Sometimes we get into some topics and general discussions,
and then sometimes we go deep on one thing,
so that's how this goes.
This is an opportunity to do Heart Check-in
together with just guys,
so that's what this is all about.
I'll give you an opportunity to introduce yourself
and to tell a little bit about who you are
and where you're from, that kind of thing,
just so we can get to know you in a minute,
because I want to get back to David and what he's doing,
and no other new guys.
Jesse, I think you've been on here before, right?
Oh, Tim.
Hey, Tim.
Sorry.
This is your first time on Men's Heart Check-in?
Hey, guys. First time.
I'm sorry. I'm eating.
Chicken was why I pointed my camera away.
It happens.
But, yeah, looking forward to just joining the program
about a week ago, just doing the initial videos and all,
and so this is my first event to join here.
Yeah. Well, welcome. Welcome.
Thank you.
This is our opportunity to, just men,
gather together to kind of just discuss, share.
We share our wins. We share our not-so-much wins,
and we just talk, we process.
It's kind of a roundtable sort of situation.
I try to facilitate as best I can.
Sometimes we get into a heavy topic or a specific topic,
and then sometimes we're just sharing with each other,
so I just want to let you know that.
So, welcome, and I'll give you guys an opportunity
to introduce yourselves,
just to tell us a little bit about yourselves
here in just a minute.
Cool. Back to you.
You're probably in the level two,
so you guys are still talking,
but you've taken definitely a step back.
If you're talking exclusively
and you're not really talking to anybody else,
or she's not talking to anybody else,
technically that's kind of level three,
but those are not as important
as actually what's happening in the situation.
So, she triggered you.
You probably triggered her some in this interaction.
A little bit with the lack of responding to her
over the course of a few days.
Like, I thought I was just sinking into a depression
because I haven't had PTSD treatment in a hot minute,
and then when I had time to just not constantly be moving
and driving all over the country.
I took some time.
You've been preoccupied for sure the last several weeks.
Oh yeah.
Doing a bunch of things, right, yeah.
Two cross country trips in less than a month.
Drove to California Saturday and then back
to go shadow a chiropractor out there
before I get started at school.
So as far as the relationship,
where is it at now?
You're just taking a couple days to process,
easy as two?
A couple days to process plus I do my final move
from Vegas to Iowa Wednesday and just wanting to,
I noticed that I don't like talking when I'm in the car,
like not right now,
but I actually moved to the car for privacy
because family's just kind of all in and out
in the hallway and right outside my door
and I'm like, it's like you guys are doing this on purpose,
you know?
Yeah.
And it's not, it's just my,
I just had a treatment today for PTSD
and it just means that everything has the volume turned up.
Yeah.
It's basically works my brain out to where
over the course of the next few months,
like it'll be like greatly subdued.
Yeah.
Well, we just pray for you right now,
just that you'll be, first of all,
you'll just be at peace and that you'll just,
you know, process this.
You know, we don't really know,
you may not even really know whether this relationship is,
you know, I don't want to say worthy,
but you know, it's like,
you don't even know if really right now
if you want to pursue this relationship,
you don't know how you want to pursue this relationship.
And so that's fine.
It's kind of, huh?
I was going to say more so how, like, I don't know.
You don't really know how to pursue this relationship
or even if you want to at this point.
So we understand that.
So we just pray first and foremost,
that you have peace in this situation,
peace at this moment in time,
especially as you're, you know,
dealing with some PTSD, that kind of stuff.
So we definitely just agree with you.
We add our faith together right now
that you'll be in peace
and that you'll find a sense of solace
in this time as you're processing
because that's what's most important
because that's where you're going to get clarity.
That's where you're going to get, you know,
the right motives.
That's where you're going to get, you know,
freedom from fear and anything else
that may be trying to get your attention
that, you know, isn't for your best benefit.
So we just pray for that right now in the name of Jesus.
And we just really believe that, you know,
you're going to be able to work through this
and then come to some conclusion or next step,
whatever you want to do, you know,
and we'll be there for you for that.
Thank you much.
Yeah, man.
Well, guys, and we might even come back to you, David,
three minutes, depending on how, what we get into.
So welcome.
We have, you know, a different crew
at a different crew last week.
I don't know if anybody,
there might be one or two guys around here from last week,
but everybody else is kind of like showing up
like some old school folks and some new guys.
So it's all good.
Let's take an opportunity to have our new guys
introduce themselves, Joshua and Tim.
Let's take a minute.
Just, you don't have to go very long.
You don't have to tell us your life story,
but you know, just kind of give us an idea of who you are
and what you do, where you're from,
and maybe how you found the last year single
and that kind of thing.
Yeah, Joshua.
I just joined the last year single program.
Maybe a couple of days ago.
I was a school bus driver for this last semester.
I had a roommate that got me into that job,
but now I'm going into teaching.
That's been something the Lord has been putting on my heart.
33 years old, originally from Houston.
I live in Dallas now.
The Lord has just been really putting me on this journey
the last couple of years, just in faith.
Dallas is kind of a hub for people
who are being trained into ministry purposes,
and that could be like, you know,
kingdom ministry and business or whatever.
I think for me specifically it's teaching,
but I started, I come from a big family.
I'm the second of nine kids.
Grew up in a Christian home,
and a lot of like, I would say, emotional,
maybe even spiritual abuse growing up in some sense.
I'm not blaming everything, unlike my parents or anything,
but just acknowledging that the Lord had to teach me
who He was as a father, so the last six years or so,
that's been something He's been doing.
I learned about the heart work September, October last year.
I had a roommate, he's married now,
but his girlfriend at the time said,
you need to do the heart work.
And so he did it, and then he shared it, and he's like, hey, like, you should do it too.
Because I was just going through a rut.
And in that process, I'm actually doing it again right now, I'm about to start chapter
10 on forgiveness.
So I'm catching up on the portal online on the program, but I'm in, I feel like the Lord
is just saying you need to focus on the forgiveness part right now.
When I did it the first time last October, the Lord healed me of wounds with women that
I'd had from like, six, eight years ago.
And that was really surprising, because I thought that I was already healed from that.
But apparently, like,
These were these were ladies that you were in relationship with dating.
Anything or romantically interested in Yeah, but in some way or another, I've been really
hurt by them.
Oh, yeah, I'm going to that more in detail if you want, but that's just kind of a general
thing.
Yeah.
I think it's funny.
It's just I just when you're saying this, like, someone says, Hey, you know, I did this
and you should do it to like, I always think of just kind of like the negative peer pressure
that kind of sounds like an 80s movie, like, hey, man, you want to do this?
Like it's like, like bad something bad.
And this is funny.
I don't know why.
I just thought that was funny.
You said that you should do this to like, years old, so like, but if this is positive
peer pressure to do something actually really good, and I think it's I don't know, the irony
there is kind of funny how that came out.
But so I appreciate that, Josh.
Well, thank you for sharing and giving an introduction to who you are and where you
do.
Where are you from?
Tim?
Go ahead.
Let us know.
What's up with you?
Hey, guys.
Good to meet you.
My name is Tim, Tim McAuliffe, and I live in the Dallas area also.
And let's see, just go to a church there.
Let's see.
I'm, let's see, from Nebraska, originally been in Dallas and Texas for about 10 years.
And yeah, let's see, relationship wise, I dated a girl kind of off and on for a few
years, pursued her.
And in the end, yeah, that just didn't didn't work out.
In the end.
Yeah, kind of like I broke it off for a while, but I tried to get back and then she wasn't
really interested.
And then so then she finally broke it off.
And then I did a really great, awesome Christian girl I knew from church for like five years,
did her we did for like eight months, and she's kind of broke up out of the blue last
what like February.
And you know, my friends aren't, they don't think I did anything wrong, or I don't, you
know, I think it wasn't the right fit, I'm concluding, but she didn't really give a reason.
She wasn't really willing to talk or anything or nothing happened.
So it's kind of odd.
So now I'm just on this journey of, I would like to get married and, and just on this
journey of let's see, you know, how did I join this group?
I mean, yeah, yeah, I just haven't had success, honestly, meeting girls through church, which
is too bad.
I've been involved in a great singles group at church for several years, or I was.
And I just found out about your ministry a couple years ago, I went through the heart
work workshop just on my own, the videos I heard about through a friend.
So just like Josh, I had that peer pressure.
But yeah, he actually met his wife through it, through your ministry there.
And your friend did.
My friend did.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
Yep.
And let's see.
And so, so I went through it maybe two, two to three years ago, at the time, but then
I think actually on some how I come across it here, like a week ago, week, one or two
weeks ago, I think I saw some sort of something popped up on like Facebook Messenger or something.
So at any rate, that's kind of where I emailed and it went from there.
So yeah, just looking forward to, you know, continuing to grow in Christ and, and see
if Lord, you know, how the Lord would like to, I believe I'll get married at some point.
Love to have kids.
I'm a little older, older single now.
I mean, I think I'm, I'm fine and fit for it, it's just whether or not the girls would
be in that demographic or not.
But if not, that's okay.
That's kind of where I'm at now.
Okay.
Tim, Joshua, how old are you?
Joshua, 33.
Joshua, 33?
Yeah.
And then Tim, how old are you?
I am 55.
Wow.
You look good.
That's awesome.
I can't believe, I know, I know.
I'm right behind you.
I'll be 54 this year.
All right.
Very good.
55, that's good.
Somebody talk to me.
me when I turned 50, I was just like, wasn't like really hardcore lamenting, but I kind of lamented
to them because I was about to turn 50 a couple years ago, obviously. Right. Yeah. I'm going to
be 50 this year. And the guy looked at me and he says, Hey, your fifties are your best. And I'm
like, really? I'm like, okay. Yeah. So take that. So like fifties is my best. So, um, I'm hardcore
turning around. There's a lot of different things happening in my life and, uh, you know, it's all
good. Um, it's going to be my best decade yet. Uh, so I'm a, I'm a medical doctor. I have a
clinic in Richardson. Um, and so I actually do vasectomies and circumcisions all day. I
have a SNP clinic there. And actually right now I'm in an RV in Graham, Texas. I do once a month,
I just go out and do an ER shift, 24 hour shift. So I start that tomorrow. So I, I show up early
and get a good night's sleep. And then you just live in your RV for that day or weekend or
whatever. Well, it's an Airbnb outside. Yeah. I see. I see. Okay. Yeah. Just a little Airbnb here.
That's really cool. Okay. Hey, if any of you guys need a vasectomy or a circumcision tonight,
just, you know, hit up Tim's, let them know like, Hey bro, I'm kind of in a need of a
that's right. Friends and family discount. It looks like
a lot of services here at last. We did. We definitely do a combo. We have patients come
in for Vassar combo. Absolutely, bro. I mean, like we do it all. We do it all on appointment
even, you know, you don't even have to go under the, you know, one stop shop. Yeah.
David, shouldn't you be advertising that in Jackie Dorman's forever married program?
Probably, probably. I mean, there's some, yeah. We're always looking for add on services
that we get to sort of, you know, like affiliate with or whatever, you know.
That's right. That's right. A little snip, snip, snap.
It's kind of the opposite of add on services, but yeah.
Yeah. Services page. Right. Yeah. We call it sawdust, you know? Anyway,
that's a whole other marketing term and everything. Well, that's pretty cool. Thank
you guys for showing up here. Thank you. Jesse, give me, I know I met you in person.
Give me a little about, I know you've been here before.
Has things like to one of these heart check-ins before?
Yeah. No, I haven't. I don't know. Last week I might've caught the tail end or I don't know
if I was watching a replay or not. I don't remember. Well, give us a little bit about you
then, Jesse. Where are you from? What do you do? What's going on with you?
Yeah, I'm from Pennsylvania and I'm a realtor, real estate investment company. And I'm 44.
I'm a widow, a widower. My wife passed away last February. So it's, let's see here, 491 days ago.
Wow.
So I have four kids. We have four kids, 18, 16, 13, and 11, three girls and a boy.
So I got connected to your ministry through the first date that I went on back in the end of
January. Yeah. She was, wasn't interested, but kind enough to pass my information on the Jackie
who called me and it was a really good conversation. And then I ended up
meeting you guys there at the New Jersey meeting or whatever.
Earlier this year, we were at a King of Kings church in New Jersey and met you there. Yeah.
I remember that.
So yeah, so I did, I signed up for, I was kind of reluctant to sign up because I didn't feel like I
needed the connections as far as like, I guess what I knew about it was just like the, you know,
like the matchmaking part of it. And I was like, I don't know if I'm really into that or really need
that. But I had a lot kind of a decent amount going on besides that, but I'm glad I signed up
because I did, I finished the heart work and it was really good. So yeah, I don't know if there's,
I don't know what happened, but I didn't get onto the guys thing till after I was completed with the
heart work. And that's kind of appropriate, but that's, yeah, that's cool. That's fine.
Yeah. But anyhow, so yeah.
Yeah. Guys, Jesse's got an incredible story as far as what he's went through and what he's doing
now as a single dad and all that kind of stuff. And all of you guys, man, have like,
incredible uniqueness. And, um, you know, we talk about that a
lot. Um, Jackie was even mentioning it last week and
some of you guys aren't here, but you know, every time she
comes on here, um, as of late, she's been telling you guys, you
know, you guys are unicorns. I mean, truly, like, it's a real
thing. Like there are not many men, um, not only within our
group, but just like at large, like we all know that there's a
masculinity crisis that our culture and the world's having.
Um, there's just a lot of issues that way. Um, and, but at the
same time, you know, to find like a lot of the women, one of
their biggest questions is like, where are the good men? You
know, I didn't say where are the perfect men, just where the
good men, you know, here, here guys just trying. And that's
what's amazing about, um, right now where we're at, like
sometimes it's, it is enough that a guy is trying showing up
and keeps on showing up, showing up, showing up, trying. So if
you're feeling a little down on yourself today, for whatever
reason, any number of thousand different reasons, lift yourself
up and know that you're probably above average with
regard to, um, your, what is it called? Your, you know, your
EQ ability, if you will, um, your eligibility in terms of,
uh, the kind of man and the kind of, uh, guy that women are
looking for. And, um, and being intentional. So I just want to
encourage you with that. Um, who's got something, um, on your
heart and your mind, I want to open up the table tonight for
anybody that's got something that you want to sort of like
process or maybe talk about.
I kind of have a David, similar to David, but different. Right.
So I'm struggling, struggling with several things, just, just
the, I don't like playing games. Cause it feels like
manipulation, right? Like at the same time, I know there's, there
is a, um, a dance in the whole thing. So this gal, I asked her
out in January. Um, she gave me her number and then said, I'm
cocooning and then disappeared. Right. Um, but now I'm at that
church. Cause I thought the Lord calling me there. And I feel
like she, it's almost like torture in a way because she, I
feel like she's circling me, but not giving me any inroads. I
don't know if that, does that make sense? Like, you know, um,
and like, I, you know,
emotionally, like, cause she, and you think this is
intentional or I think it's just like in your,
I think she wants me to be scared or afraid or something.
That's what might, would be my guess. Right. Like, um, I mean,
she came, she had, I found out some information. She had a
really abusive marriage before, you know, so that was a whole
that's a whole nother context. Like, so I guess my thing is,
um, well, it was interesting cause last week there was a
bunch of, there's three eligible ladies there and two of them
were near me. And then this week she came in decked out. Right.
You know, and she actually, um, she actually engaged with me
last week. So, but like, it just feels like kind of bullshit
actually. I don't know. Like that's the best way to think.
It seems very, I just don't, I understand that there's, there's
like, I don't, I don't have game and I'm trying to get game, I
guess. I don't know, but it just, it just feels disingenuous
or from her. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a crap test, you
know, like, I guess ladies sometimes see it, who are you
and like, what can you handle? And I just, so I guess I'm
confused. So you feel like this, this lady is playing head games
with you.
He knows what she wants. Right. And so, but you know, so, and I
think she's drawn to me and I really dig her. Right. But at
the same time, um, it's, it is, and I, and I just do have to
say, I have my whole life I've been manipulated and screwed
with, so I could be hypersensitive. That's kind of
one of the reasons why I'm trying to check it out is like,
am I being hypersensitive? Is this just part of the game of,
she wants to be chased, you know, run, you know, like, you
know, um, but I, you know, I do really appreciate the
encouragement about the unicorn because I mean, I've done a
hell of a lot of work to be the best I could be. Right. You
know, and, um, and, but at the same time, it doesn't feel like
it's appreciated.
In
You know, and it's just nice to be up to you.
I mean, you have like, not only do we have a masculinity crisis,
and I say that because it's there's definitely like there's a weight on that
in terms of like, you know, what's what's going on with with our men today in the
world, but at the same time, probably equally as many females that are coming
from their own source of trauma and so forth.
And so when trauma and trauma meet, like it can be like it can be like, wait,
what's going on here?
Like, it's hard sometimes to get to that sort of like a little bit of true north
to go, okay, like, let's, let's get out of our orphan here for just enough time to
be able to understand, you know, you know, guy and girl, like, are we into each
other?
Is this worth like even working out?
Or is this just a bunch of games?
So sometimes I get that.
So I kind of feel like that's what's going on, but guys, somebody else jump in
here.
If you have questions, comments.
Yeah, I'm open.
I have, I have, I have some questions.
Um, can you tell us what it is about her that you appreciate or feel attracted to?
Yeah.
Um, she's a worshiper.
She's very kind.
And, and, um, she, you know, I'm a father, a spiritual father to a lot, and she's a
spiritual mother, which is, um, I feel safe around her other than the games, right?
Which that's no small feat with my life, right?
Like, you know, um, I actually feel comfortable being around her.
Um, she, I'm at ease, um, like, and, um, yeah, I mean, I'm a, I'm a shabby.
She's, she's beautiful.
Right.
You know?
Um, and I think, uh, the other, the other question, like, or part of this is like,
I'd really like to get her to know her as a friend, but at the same time, I, I
really want, like, it's, it's not just a friendship I'm looking for.
Right.
Like, you know, so it seems disingenuous.
It's like, I'm not, I just want to be friends.
That's not exactly it.
I want to be, I want to see it, be a friend to you and see if this goes
somewhere and how, how does that differ too?
Like, so no, I, I really do.
I do dig her.
I've, I've, I've watched her.
I've observed her with other people.
Um, and I think she's just freaking out a bit.
Two.
Thanks for sharing two, two, two other questions.
The first one is, um, do you feel like anything that you or she are
experiencing might have anything to do with, you mentioned like an abusive
relationship, but, um, have you looked at kind of the, how we love kind of like
attachment?
Oh yeah, no, yeah, no.
I thought she was avoidant.
Right.
And then I was like, screw this.
I'm not dealing with another avoidant, like, you know, but then the
Lord's like, no, she's not.
Oh.
And so I was like, okay, well that kind of screws things up because it would
have been easier just to, to categorize her as an avoidant and just, I just
don't feel like chasing.
Right.
Um, I think she just scared is more, is more what it is.
Um, I don't think she was ready for me.
If she ever, she ever given you a very strong indication at any point in time
that she's like, Hey, I, I'm interested to you.
It's just this, I just feel like a lot of these cues that you're getting are
like very, very vague and nonverbal.
Offered me her number when I asked for it.
Okay.
Like, look, I was, I was, I was dancing around and she's like, do you want my
number?
And she handed it and she gave it to me.
Right.
The question is, is, is she playing head games?
I mean, maybe it's not this clear.
I'm trying, I'm not, I'm trying to be accusatory at all because I don't know
it in this sphere.
Like, I don't really know what's going on.
Or is she just, this is, is this just her way of being flirty?
I mean, it may be as simple as that.
I don't know.
I'm just asking.
That's what, that's why I'm asking like the flirty thing.
Like, I don't know.
So, you know, that's actually something the Lord's been doing.
I've been doing some hard work on, cause my ex hated flirting.
Oh, you know, some, you know, somebody may not really necessarily be good at
flirting and this is just her version of it.
I don't know, necessarily.
And that's what I'm wondering.
And that's why I'm having, I wanted to ask this question.
Is this just her being flirty and like, Hey, come get me.
Or is this like, uh, or, and she's terrible at it.
And then I'm terrible at it.
So where there's a conundrum.
So the bottom line is basically, you're just going to have to, at some point.
Sit down and just have a discussion and go, Hey, what's, what's just
truly just what's going on here?
You know, without trying to be emotional.
Thomas, that was my third question.
It is, um, what do you perceive to be the choice that you're facing right
now about what to do?
about it, if anything?
Well, I don't know how to engage or I do not know how to engage her
or whether to engage her.
Right. I'm like, that's the thing is I want to engage.
I want to play. I want to, you know, but at the same time, I just don't know.
And it's I don't want to pee in my own pool
because I just started at this church.
Right. You know, so and she's the pastor's daughter.
So and there's that
no pressure. Who was my attorney?
You know, you can't make this stuff up.
So anybody else got any reactions, any feelings like,
yeah, but I got any intuition.
So I got a chance to talk with a scholar out of Project Truth
lives up in the mountains up above Las Vegas in Cold Creek, Nevada,
talking about some of my issues that I was facing with my gal.
And he's like, you know, David, I've been all over the world
and I've watched tons of couples and people working on being couples interact.
And the biggest thing that I've come to find out is
a lot of people don't know how to act
because they've never been shown.
And so sometimes, you know, in dating,
you're going to have someone that says something or does something
that might be triggering to the other person.
But it's not out of a point of maliciousness or a point of,
oh, let's see if I can break this person down or I can get them to be triggered.
It's just them really just not knowing
how to behave and how to express their emotions appropriately and effectively
because you can't express yourself the same way across the board
for every person you walk into.
Everyone's everyone's different.
Everyone's going to respond a little bit differently.
And it except it especially gets.
Muddy is the wrong term, but it gets a little bit.
Difficult to ascertain responses for
victims of abuse.
The girl that I'm pursuing
is a victim of verbal abuse.
I'm a victim of sexual abuse from my time in the army.
And it's and that's like a trauma that I don't really open up about much at all.
But it's and it's not something I've shared with her whatsoever.
But it's it makes things a little bit different.
It definitely skewed my view on sex
for a long time until I started heartwork.
And I mean, have you asked chat GPT?
Oh, God. No, it's not a good.
I don't want the camera.
I know you got something to say, so.
So, no, I appreciate it.
And I and that was my question is, like, is this her just being terrible
at flirting, also afraid to engage? Right.
But like I say, I'm pretty sure she got decked out
and it was to make sure she is the top target at the church. Right.
And so so my intuition says she's after me,
but it's just been really it's like so I don't I don't know.
It's like I like I'm sort of a straightforward person.
And I know like and I'm trying to get more flirty.
And I realized, actually, it's actually been really good
because I got I had to do some hard work on all the it's like why I'm afraid to flirt.
Right. It's like, oh, yeah, because I got I got flame thrown.
I would I would say this, though, as far as flirting, I mean, girls.
Like flirting for guys is not necessarily trying to be.
You can be a little playful if you want to.
I mean, that's the personality.
I'm sure David. Yeah.
Las Vegas is a little bit of a sort of a playful flirt.
But typically, guys just being charming,
you know, just being like, hey, you know, like cool, suave, charming,
like, you know, kind of like, you know, conversative.
That's actually enough flirtation for most women to be intrigued
or at least have a conversation, I think,
especially if, you know, you're not trying to play a bunch of head games.
But, you know, that's kind of my opinion.
I like to hear that because, yeah, because I'm like, you know,
because there's a gajillion ways things.
Yeah, you don't have you don't have to be Mr.
Like cool about it.
You can just be like genuine.
Yeah. Be enough of a flirtation.
Daniel, John, you got your hand raised.
Go ahead, Daniel. What's up?
Yeah, hey, I was going to ask, so you mentioned that she gave you her number
and I'm well, I guess I have two things, but the first one is, I mean,
did she seem romantically interested?
She sounds like she dropped the hanky.
Have you asked her out?
since then or connected with her?
Well, I haven't because she said she was cocooning.
And then I actually crossed her off.
And then the Lord's like, I want you to go to that church.
And I'm like, no.
And so well, because I also want to honor her.
I didn't want her to show up at her church and be like, you know, what's up?
Yeah. So the playful flirt is,
hey, you know, you're starting to look like a butterfly.
How's the cocooning going?
No, I hadn't like that.
But because that exact thoughts were in my head
and I'm like that, but so, yeah.
But no, I guess.
I was going to say the second one,
I don't know if you guys know Nora McIntosh from the community.
Nora is amazing. Yeah. Yeah, she's great.
She has but she has a podcast called 10 X Boulder,
and it circles around this question, what would you do if you were 10 times bolder?
And I thought that was really helpful that
that podcast came across my feed at just the right time for me.
So I don't know a question.
You don't have to answer it here on the spot, but a question
you may want to ask yourself is, what would you do if you were 10 times older?
That's a great question.
Great question. Yeah.
John, what do you got?
Yeah, and the same thing like Daniel had, I was like, hey,
you said you were cocooning.
Are you a butterfly yet?
Just give it some craft and ask her out after that.
Just go, hey, let's go.
You know, you want to go out and see it.
If she shoots you down, then you'll know. Yeah.
I mean, you put the ball on her court.
Now it's up to her.
And then just, you know, tell her you're dating or whatever or, you know,
that you're not serious.
Let's take a poll.
How many of you raising your hands think that Mike should definitely?
I mean, you got to like break the ice on this.
And whether it's actually just having a real quick conversation
or asking her out.
I mean, if you think Mike's needs to take some action.
Some sort of action.
So, yes, to let to know Mike.
That's true. It's exactly right.
Right. And, you know, and I quit, quit, like quit wondering about it.
You got to just like.
You know, break the ice and whether or not right away.
Yeah. Instead of three months later, you're like, oh, my God, look,
she looked at me, but, you know.
Well, no, I haven't.
Like, I haven't had a lot of chances to engage with her. Right.
And so but I have been looking for that that opportunity.
So, OK. Yeah.
So cool. Thank you.
I just I'm like, is this head games?
Is it she messed in with me or is it just awkwardness?
You don't know till you know. Yeah.
What's up, Josh?
A couple of questions for my and I don't know.
I'm just throwing something at the wall to see if it sticks.
If it doesn't stick, it doesn't stick. Throw it out.
But and it may be or it's too early on or anything like that.
But do you think that with what you know
and observe of her, that she feels safe around her dad?
Yeah. I think it's in the romantic context.
Hmm. Right.
The next question that I have is.
Maybe she's looking for I am I don't know what words to use,
so try to see what I'm trying to say,
but maybe she's looking for someone who if they are befriending her dad,
then she'll feel safer around them because she sees
that they're getting along with her father.
And, you know, then it's almost like a handoff.
Or could be a potential handoff to the, you know, whoever's interested in her.
Well, he likes my dad and, you know.
Yeah. And I'm going to be working with her dad quite a bit.
So, I mean, I'm basically a pastor, but not paid.
You know, I've been doing ministry for 30 years.
So and the interesting thing is, is, you know, that those I mean,
there is sort of that.
You know, the child of the pastor sort of situation
dynamic that happens in churches, but this is also not a situation
where she's like, you know, 18 or 20 or 25.
I mean, she's obviously it's probably 45.
OK, so, yeah. So she's an adult woman.
So that's like a little bit different dynamic in that regard.
It's not like, oh, this is daddy's little girl.
I mean, yes, but at the same time, no.
Well, like as far as that.
So, Thomas, as far as her dad thing, that was why I went there
is to actually help shape the church.
That's why God's calling me there is to do a lot of deliverance things
that need to happen and what I what I carry and what I walk in
is what they want to want to jump into.
So I'm going to build a prophetic team.
I'm gonna build all kinds of stuff.
And so my good friend got hired on there as a pastor
and he and I are,
he's like my best friend, right?
So, yeah.
Yeah, I think that's great
that you're doing all that to me.
I personally would feel concerned
about pursuing someone's dad to get access to the-
Oh yeah, no, no, no.
But you're not doing that.
No, no, like I'm there to build the kingdom
and if she decides to come alongside, that'd be amazing.
But otherwise, but I just am like trying to understand.
It's been a long time since I've, it's like,
yeah, I just wish it was more cut and dry.
You know, and I guess the whole,
I just have to take a swing.
And I just have been reticent
because I just got to the church
and I don't wanna pee in the pool.
Right?
You know, and so, okay, I guess that's a good question.
Being that I'm in this situation,
how would you guys approach that?
Right?
I would say, I would say-
Like, what do you want, man?
Like, what do you really want?
That's a great question, James.
That's a great question.
No, I want her.
I do.
Right?
So-
Create a T-shirt that says,
seeking a single Christian woman for the purposes of,
or respond to my phone number printed on this shirt.
Yeah.
What are those freaking QR codes on my-
Actually not really a bad idea in this day and age.
Hey!
I think Daniel and John gave you
a lot of plausible deniability.
Like, you know, I mean, to like be able to engage,
have a conversation, ask what she talked about.
And then if she's like, oh yeah, I'm still cocooning.
I can't even imagine seeing anybody right now.
I don't feel like you feed in the pool at all.
Yeah, that's the thing.
It is interesting that you've actually gotten already
the feedback of the cocooning thing.
So that was a very specific sort of like response,
whether it's genuine or not,
or whether that was just saying something
just to like put somebody off.
I'm not really sure yet.
Yeah, I do think it was legit, right?
Yeah, sure.
Cocoons are temporary.
So I would just check in.
Hey, I just wanted to check in,
see how the cocooning is going.
It's springtime or it's summertime.
You're looking like a butterfly, whatever you want.
Well, she came all dressed up too, right?
Sprinkle some chocolate for the cocooning process.
Just like, here we go.
In case you need it for the cocooning.
There you go.
So, cool.
Thank you guys.
Yeah, no, it's crazy.
Okay, guys, who else?
Hey, I saw this meme real fast.
It was some guy went up to some girl
that he thought was, you know, attractive
and he talked to her and she was with her friends
and he's all, hey, and she's all, yeah,
like totally played it off.
And he walks back and he's all, yeah, she blew me off.
And it shows her and her three friends
like jumping for joy, like, oh, you talked to me?
Oh, it's like so confusing.
You know what I mean?
And I told my friends I'm all,
unless a woman totally puts it out there.
And if she's just like, we're just like, yeah, whatever.
But they get all excited and they're kind of,
you know, it's funny.
Very different worlds.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely saw a video this week
of a young lady who was pursuing a man
for a change of things.
And she's like, well, I saw this cute guy
in the grocery aisle.
And then like, I followed him around the corner
and then I went in the same checkout line.
Daniel saw the reel.
He already knows where this goes.
And so I leaned over and like took a picture
of his credit card information.
Then I entered it onto Facebook and then I found his mother
and then I joined his mother's Bible study group.
And then I just waited until, you know,
we got through a few different studies
and then finally said, by the way, I'm single.
And like the person watching the video
like rips his keyboard off the desk.
He's like lost faith in humanity.
Oh my gosh.
That's scary.
That's one way to do it.
Joshua, if you have your hands raised,
what do you have to add to this
or steer us in a different direction?
Yeah, steer us in a different, change the rudder.
I'll share a little bit of my current situation.
I go to a Messianic synagogue.
For those of you who don't know what that is,
that's a synagogue where there are both Jewish
and Gentile believers.
Cause you know, Paul was a Jew in the New Testament
and he's forming these churches,
Ecclesia. So it's been really cool. And I go to this, around
September, October last year, I was going to the Shabbat group
and that's Sabbath. So every Friday nights when Sabbath
begins, and it's just been a really, like spiritually
insightful, but growing thing for me. I've led the Passover
Seder we had as a group this last April. I really have a
teaching gift. One of the two women that formed the group, her
name is Brooke. I asked her out in November, she said no. And
she was just straight up. And I called her, she was busy. So she
texted me back and said, I needed some time to think about
it. But I don't think I'm interested in seeing you that
way. And then she was just straight up like there's this
other guy named Chris, I'm kind of waiting for, because I think
they had a thing before, but she was waiting. And so, yeah, it
so happened that Chris came into our community and they've
been dating, I guess strongly since January. It's been hard.
Honestly, like I'd gotten over it, I thought, I thought. And I
guess just there, it's a whole story, but I, with a whole lot
of different elements, but I guess something happened in April
or May, like after the Passover Seder, where something just
happened. I went, so Brooke's parents have some land out in
East Texas. And originally I was like, no, I'm not going to go
out there. I'm not going to put my heart in a, in a bad
situation. But I thought like I was over it and I, I've dated a
few different people, ladies in the springtime. I've been going
over this material by Dr. Henry Cloud. He's a dating coach, has
been one for like 27 years. And I've been doing non-exclusive
dating this year, which is kind of a first for me. So I've been
growing, but anyway, I ended up going to her parents' place and
for some reason, I just, I just did not enjoy it at all. I was,
besides me and Chris, I was like the only guy there. And nothing
like inappropriate was happening. You know, there are
people around, but something, I think that was a moment where
something in my heart fragmented. It's the best way I
could describe it.
Was this an event at this property?
No, it was like a camping trip. So they have, they have acreage,
they have land.
Oh, so you were invited to go with a group of people.
Yeah. But we have our own group chat. So I know there's a lot of
details I'm kind of sharing. I'm trying, trying to get simple
synopsis of what it is, but for some reason, yeah.
Okay. So this is this, this woman, Brooke, that you're
interested in, but first time you talked with her and asked
her out, she said, no, I'm interested in somebody else. And
since that time, as far as you know, they're dating and, and
they're still dating. Is that correct?
Oh yeah. Yeah. They're still together.
We go to the same...
But for some reason, you went pretty deep, pretty quickly with
this person in your own heart and your mind thinking, this is
somebody I'd like to get to know, but she told you right
away that she wasn't really not only interested, but she
actually wasn't really available because she, her heart
was counting on somebody else that they were talking to and
now they're dating. So question is, is what's, what's going on
there? Because I'd understand, I would understand holding on
to and sort of having these feelings, whatever emotions, if
you had actually been in some sort of relationship with this
person, maybe been on, you know, they were a person that you
were connected to specifically, even dating maybe, but as far
as we know, as far as basically what you told us, that's the,
that's the depth of the relationship is that you just
knew her. Is that correct?
Yeah. Like we, we never got romantically involved or
anything like that.
And you never even went on one date?
No, no, we haven't.
Okay.
Yeah.
So any questions guys for Josh finish your story or share, kind of like, I'd like an
additional 30 seconds, but yeah I ever since that moment like something just changed, and
I decided this. I've just, I kind of not like I wasn't trying to do it in a bad way, but
I've stayed away from the Shabbat group pretty much ever since, like me to the group chat,
I've, I'm not out of community I found other places to be in like old communities that
I was in before Baruch Hashem, my messianic synagogue and so I'm not out of community.
I've just, and the Lord had me start the heart work about three weeks ago.
So I'm in the forgiveness part right now, and I've just, I've been trying to guard my
heart from like any further, whatever.
I'm just confused.
I don't really.
I thought I was over Baruch, and that was one reason why I went on the camping trip
like I was just right before the camping trip, like I sent her a text, and I was dating
this other girl, not exclusively, and I was, I thought I was asking a legitimate question,
which was, hey, like, do you have a shower I could use while I'm there because I, I hate
feeling grimy, like I'm just one of those guys like I just, I hate feeling grimy.
I think you froze.
I think your internet froze, Josh, sorry.
Yeah.
I don't know if he's coming back.
If you can hear us, Josh, you're frozen right now, so I'm not really sure what's going on
with your internet.
Yeah, you know, haha, like laughing emoji.
Is it better now?
Yeah, you froze, you froze there for about 10 seconds.
I don't know why it's been doing, yeah, so I sent Brooke this text, you know, just saying
like, hey, can I just use the shower when I'm there, and when she responded, I guess
my heart thought it was like flirtatious.
Obviously it wasn't.
She's just, you know, responding, but all of a sudden my heart just felt like bad.
It just felt like a knife entered my chest, and I was just really fighting in prayer,
and I felt like, I was like, is this the enemy?
Is this the Lord speaking?
And I felt like the Lord was just saying, you might be third wheeling if you go, and
I was looking forward to going, then all of a sudden I'm in this moment where I have to
go because it's like an hour and a half away, and they're waiting for me before they start.
And so I don't know, I just, I didn't have a good time at all the entire time.
And I mean, I thought I was good for like half a year, like with Brooke and the rest
of the community, so I don't really know what happened, but yeah, so that's, there's more
to the story.
There was one other girl I was potentially interested in, in the group, I felt like we
were connecting a little emotionally too fast.
I know I'm adding another facet to the story, but if anyone has any questions, I can answer.
But yeah, so if anyone wants to talk or have any questions or.
So you know, as somebody who connects quickly, I can kind of relate in some ways.
You know, there's just a, you know, what's concerning is that you don't feel like going
back to the group, right?
Which tells me that your heart's really hurt by it, right?
Like, you know, and so a lot of times what I have to do is even though it's stupid and
it was like, it's not stupid, actually, I get to say that, I say that to myself, but
really, I just, I know how to connect well.
I just don't always choose the best things.
I just have to grieve the loss.
And sometimes the grief, it's not just a one-time thing, and then you think you're over it,
and then you see them again, and you're like, and then there's that twinge, and you just,
you grieve it again.
Or you may, I've had to break soul ties with people because, you know, I generated a soul
tie.
And, you know, so I just like, you know, there's some people who are amazing, but they're just
not meant to be in your life, right?
And come and grieving that loss, you know, and so, you know, because, you know, usually
you don't like I run away like you want to run away from things right like you know like I don't
want to go there because it reminds me of the pain that's in my chest and my heart that's
crushed right and I'm like we didn't even have a relationship this is so stupid but it's not
because you connected right and you had you had you had something that you wanted and you know
whether it was you know and so it was legitimate to you whether it actually came to fruition is a
whole nother thing and that is why I've had to be really careful in I have had to work on myself and
jumping in right and and I kind of went the complete other direction where I didn't want
to jump in with anybody right but I just encourage you to grieve it it's you know and it's okay
you know it's okay it's a loss you know it may not be that you had a huge relationship
but your heart's telling you it's a loss and you just let you you just the only way the only way to
only way to get through it is to grieve through it right and just you know and just let it
and then move on but like the way to freedom is you just have to let the parts of your heart heal
that feel hurt and let them be hurt so that's just my two cents that's what I do right and I and
you're not alone because I have a lot of things and I have to be careful because even in this even
telling you about this I have a lot of negative language towards myself because I'm like this
this feels so dumb right but yeah so just I just grieve it and lament break soul ties and soul
ties to even ideas right like the idea that the dream the thought the like so you which is a
connection right so does that make sense no yeah I I will respond to that Mike and I appreciate
you saying that yeah I mean this is a perfect example of very very like very simple I don't
want to undervalue it but just a very simple example of just being extremely transparent
and vulnerable in your heart in your mind you put yourself out there even though again there
wasn't any kind of extended relationship with this person but to you your level of vulnerability
transparency in the situation and you carrying this on it's extremely open and an extremely
um fragile you know in a way and then all of a sudden you're faced with another sort of
situational type of thing that then brings up a lot of emotions back to this and so forth and
you know however you're processing that like Mike's sharing like you know sometimes in these
situations he's like this is so ridiculous I see it seems like this is so like you know
beyond me but at the same time I'm feeling it you know like it's sincere and I think I think to all
of us if we're honest with ourselves we have these you know vulnerabilities that we don't want to
go into because you know maybe you've been going along in life for some time and you've hardened
your heart in a lot of ways to some of these vulnerabilities some of these emotional things
and um I just want to say that you know that the truth that she gave you at first
is really a gift because like Mike's saying you know like sometimes people you know they're just
not the the person that's going to be that's not the person you know not only not the person in
terms of like the one but like it's not a person for you um at whatever level and that level of
truth as harsh and as maybe um as difficult as that can be to to to receive and then obviously
you've been carrying this around and processes and even something another situation comes up and
then creates these feelings again very very important to you but that truth that level of
truth and that level of honesty just like no you know that's a gift and I'll tell you this I
experience a level of truth and honesty in my own life this past week that is shaking me to the core
you know shaking to me the core even in my own personal pursuit and who I am and what I want
in my marriage in my personal life and my family and it's a bit of truth that I'm having to
deal with and accept and to to process but it's a gift because it's an opportunity for
for me to pivot.
It's an opportunity for me to shift.
It's an opportunity for me to grow.
And you have to look at it this way,
rather than like, yeah, there's the loss,
there's the emotional part of it, there's like that.
And it's okay to process that like Mike's talking about.
And I agree with that, you know?
And I'm sorry that you experienced that.
But at the same time,
you also wanna look at this as an opportunity to say,
you know what?
I can pivot from here because there's more for me.
This isn't just it.
This is obviously a hard no, a hard pass,
and I'm gonna get beyond this.
But at the same time, where's the growth point for me?
And it's just kind of interesting
that you're going through the heartwork right now.
The heartwork is supposed to be that season of time
where you're giving yourself permission,
you're giving life permission,
you're giving God permission
to be completely honest with you.
And whether you feel like you're at step one
or you're step 101 or 1001 in life,
life experience, whatever,
doesn't matter where you're at.
Truth is truth.
Pivot is pivot.
Opportunity for growth is opportunity.
And to wherever level you're at,
and this is to everyone on this call,
if you're not seeking the invitation to know the truth,
face the truth, and then decide, where am I gonna grow?
Where am I gonna go from here?
Then you're just kind of skating through.
Now, that doesn't mean that every day
you're trying to find hard truths
and all day long and life sucks.
I'm just saying that the process of getting
everything that's dissatisfying in your life,
and again, you may not be being reminded of it
every second of every day,
but there are moments from day to day
or maybe from week to week
where you're like, man, this sucks.
And there's little things that remind you.
And then there's also big events
that happen in your life and seasons
where it's like, it's really reminding you.
But it's the same thing.
It's an invitation to say, where are you going?
What do you want?
I don't know if you guys caught,
some of you, if you've seen the last Sunday night,
I did an extended teaching on what do you want,
that question, and you probably should go back
and watch that.
It was the Sunday night activation last week.
So not yesterday Sunday, but the Sunday week ago.
And go watch that.
And it's all about the what do you want question
and why what do you want is the most important question.
And even James asked it tonight.
He said, well, the answer is what do you want?
What do you want to do?
What do you want to do with this situation?
Like, what do you want?
That's the only way to get clarity.
And so like in Joshua's situation,
it's like, Joshua, you have to ask yourself,
what do I want?
If your answer is I want Brooke
because that was what you were focusing
your manifestation on,
that's obviously not an option
because you've been given that hard truth.
So then you have to ask,
you're coming back around to yourself again,
like, okay, well, what do I want?
And it's hard.
It's not easy, but it's so worth it
to be able to go on this journey.
And you may be sitting here thinking,
in this call in and of itself,
just with this group of guys tonight,
you may be thinking,
I don't resonate with anything that was said tonight,
but the question still remains to you, what do you want?
What do you, where do you want to go from here?
What do you want?
You may even be in a season today or this week,
this month, or like, things are actually pretty cool.
My life's pretty good.
That's good.
Sooner or later, it will come around
to a little bit of a situation
and you'll be faced with like,
oh, this again, or this person again,
or this thing again, or this whatever, fill in the blank.
And it's an opportunity
that your life specifically, as it's lined up,
is facing you to force,
to face the truth of the reality of the decision.
and the situation that you're in, you know?
A lot of times-
It's begging the question for you, what do you want?
A lot of times it's self-reflection for me sometimes
is if you're attracting unavailable people,
well then am I really available?
Because it's safe to have unavailable people
that you're attracting because now you have safety
you have safety of like, oh, you know,
they're unavailable when the self-reflection
is that you're attracting people
because you're not available.
And that's something that you need to look at sometimes
of how available am I really for a true relationship?
Am I seeking people who aren't really ready
because I'm not really ready and they're safe?
You know?
Yeah, it's a question coming back around
to just really saying to yourself,
where is, what am I learning from this situation?
You know?
And I dare say, what are we learning from it?
Because then that can put you in a seeking mode
like as in, I'm just seeking, seeking, seeking,
I'm trying to find answers.
Instead of, that's why, again,
I hate to keep harping on this,
but this is kind of like the point
I'm really trying to drive at
is because what do you want gets,
it does give you some answers like what you're seeking,
but it's not from without, it's from within.
The only way you're ever really truly
gonna actually move forward is to answer the question,
what do I want?
And that's what brings clarity, it brings direction,
it brings next steps,
it brings a lot of things out of that question
instead of just wandering.
Because a lot of people can wander like,
oh, what's the answer?
Where's the thing?
What am I learning?
Like, you know, like I'm just on this journey.
Well, we're all on this journey,
but at the same time,
if you're just wandering, wandering, wandering,
and you're never getting clarification,
that's because you're probably not facing hard truths
and looking at them as opportunities for growth
or really challenging yourself
with the what is the you question.
And what do you want can happen if you're five years old,
it can happen when you're 15 or 50.
It's still appropriate at every level of the game.
You know what I'm saying?
Thank you, Josh, for being vulnerable.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you for that.
That's a pretty open situation for you.
And as you're processing your heart work
and you're walking through forgiveness,
yeah, keep on going, keep on doing it.
Pursue, you know, and challenge yourself
and get that level of healing.
That's what heart work is for.
So definitely give yourself that season of time
to do the healing part.
And then once you have a feeling of like a level of healing,
and you wanna move forward,
then it's time to really dig into kind of like question
of like what do you want?
You know?
So I hope you're encouraged, man.
It sucks to feel rejected when you're like,
like what was, I mean, I shouldn't feel rejected
because she just taught, she was just honest.
But at the same time, you put yourself out there.
You know, bro, that's hard.
Well, another thing too, when you're rejected,
when I got rejected by a girl,
there's greater tragedies in the world.
There's a little bit of truth to that as well.
Well, because I, while I got rejected
when I first joined Singles Nation
before I became last year's single,
I even looked on my phone at the same time
that sub that was gonna look at down the tank tank
sank and crushed him in the pressure.
I'm thinking between being rejected by a girl
and someone getting destroyed in the sub
by the water pressure,
I think that's a bigger tragedy than being rejected.
Remember, people are suffering worse tragedies than that.
Yeah.
Thank you, Hunter.
I just wanna shout out and honor the vulnerability
and the fact that he's willing to risk.
I mean, you can't be loved if you don't risk.
That's true.
Because love requires risk.
And getting Hulk smashed to a new risk is not fun.
But you know, like, but there's better to come.
And then, you know, there's one that will actually work,
you know, and, you know, you gotta go,
unfortunately, you gotta go through some reps sometimes.
But I mean, I just wanna honor the effort
and the care and the,
but not out there.
And you kind of alluded to that, but that's valiant.
Yeah, Jesse, yeah.
If you guys wanna reach out to me,
I mean, I'm just sharing my email.
I appreciate if you wouldn't share it broadly,
but I mean, I'm definitely willing to share
my personal email with this group for sure.
So if you want to reach out to me specifically,
I'm david at janemedia.org,
not dot com, dot org.
So david at janemedia.org.
That's really the best way to reach me directly
because I check my email every day.
Messenger's terrible for me.
Other things, I know Thomas and I
were going back and forth this week,
and I was trying, I was actually,
I was trying to give you an opportunity
or give us an opportunity to get together, Thomas,
but I didn't stay in San Juan.
I didn't stay in San Juan long enough.
I was actually supposed to be there longer
and ended up coming back sooner.
So it just didn't work out,
but I was actually just trying to reach out to say,
hey, you know, maybe we could connect, but.
Some other time.
Yeah, exactly.
No, we'll be back in that area, you know, kind of soon.
So definitely thought it'd be cool to connect,
but just didn't work out.
So yeah, guys, God bless.
We're after the hour,
but Daniel, did you have one last thing?
You had your hand up,
and I didn't know if you had something specific.
Yeah, yeah, I had a question.
Actually, it was for Joshua,
and maybe we're done with this topic,
but it was a clarifying question.
Well, first of all, thank you for sharing.
I can tell you're still struggling with that
and in a lot of pain,
and I really admire and respect the vulnerability.
The question was, I didn't catch this at the beginning,
but how long have you known Brooke,
or how well do you know her?
Met her first last September
when I started going to this congregation full-time.
And first or second time I met her,
she was already a member there,
and she had invited me to the Shabbat group.
And when we first met,
it was like, I kind of feel sparks.
So that's the first time we met.
And you asked her out shortly after that?
Well, the Lord had told me
you need to do the heart work first.
This is the first time I did it,
which took like all of October.
And he said, I want you to do this first
before you ask anybody else.
And probably within a week of me finishing it,
I asked Brooke out, or a couple of weeks,
and then he said no.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was kind of wondering,
sometimes we can project onto people
what we want for ourselves.
And if we don't know someone super well,
or we haven't known them for a long time,
it's easy to have kind of a idealized vision of them
that's based more on what we're hoping to get
from a relationship than the actual person.
But I don't know, that was just a thought
that kind of came to mind when you were sharing.
Yeah, all right.
I had one.
I had my hand up.
I had.
I'm sorry, what's that?
I think Thomas had his up too.
Yeah, I think Hunter was trying to say
he had his hand up first.
Oh, I see.
Hunter, you have something to add to this or no?
No.
Well, I was thinking about the heart.
Well, I can add to that, but unless you,
I'm going to tell you about my experience
with my own hard work, or can I wait till next Monday?
I mean, we're past time,
and I really would like to kind of wrap this one up.
Can you wait till next time, or no?
Yes, and I'll take some hard work notes
and share with you.
Even if it's not from Jackie's,
it's personal ones from my past that I have to resemble.
Okay, sounds good.
And I understand we're way past time,
but I just would love to maybe hear from the group next time
considering that Brooke isn't engaged
or married to this person.
Like, when is the wisdom of continuing
to kind of let things kind of play out
and kind of still,
and not try to shut down your heart towards someone?
And when do you go ahead and start grieving
and say kind of like, okay, I'm letting this completely go?
I'm not saying, again, that it has to be
a conversation for today,
but that's something I'd be interested in hearing about.
Something to think about.
That makes sense.
Something to think about, okay.
We might be able to pick up on that at some other point.
Okay.
Well, guys, thank you so much for being here tonight.
I hope you got something out of this.
We went a lot of different places, but that's cool.
And it's good.
I've heard from a lot of you guys.
I really-
Appreciate it, thank you all for being here.
I want this group to be kind of this engaged,
this big all the time.
I know we all got different schedules,
we've got things going on and stuff like that.
Sometimes I'm not here as well.
So, but try to be here as much as you can
because the merrier and the more input
and the more stuff that we have,
I think the more valuable it is.
And I think the more worth it is to connect and go deeper.
So, appreciate you guys, love you guys.
God bless you, have a great, great week.
You guys.
And we will see you soon.
All right.
Adios, God bless.