WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.400
All right, ladies. Welcome. It's the 1st of July. We're here at the 1 o'clock Eastern

2
00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:20.600
live call for Love Story Accelerator. I'm Carla Johnson. I'm one of the coaches at Last

3
00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:26.880
Year Single. It's always a pleasure to be here with you, ladies. I'm a success story

4
00:00:26.880 --> 00:00:34.320
myself, having gone through the program as a single, taking all of the wisdom from Jackie

5
00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:45.040
and applying it. So I say that so that you ladies understand that all the tips and tricks

6
00:00:45.040 --> 00:00:51.200
that we share with you, we get it because we've been through it ourselves. Is there

7
00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:57.680
anybody that's new to this call? I think I recognize everybody. So I don't know if anybody's

8
00:00:57.680 --> 00:01:06.480
new or not. I think I got everybody. Well, if you are watching and replay and you are

9
00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:13.560
new to the Love Story Accelerator, we are glad to have you. Don't be a stranger. Definitely

10
00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:21.280
come in live if you can, if you're watching and replay. I just from experience know that

11
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:27.760
the most breakthrough, the most accelerated breakthrough does come from those members

12
00:01:27.760 --> 00:01:37.560
that show up consistently and intentionally and stretch themselves. We just see a lot

13
00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:42.640
of breakthrough from that, especially ones that come live. They get themselves, you know,

14
00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:48.080
asking questions, letting us know what's going on with their, where they're dating

15
00:01:48.080 --> 00:01:54.240
and their heartwork stuff. And they're getting the most breakthrough. Karen, so good to see

16
00:01:54.240 --> 00:02:00.880
you as well. It's been a few weeks. So good to see you go. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

17
00:02:00.880 --> 00:02:06.880
All right, ladies. Well, let's go ahead and get started. Candy, you're new. Awesome. Okay,

18
00:02:06.880 --> 00:02:12.640
good, good, good. I don't see your, I don't see you live on camera. So that might be why.

19
00:02:12.640 --> 00:02:18.640
And I see that you just jumped on as well. Well, we are so happy to have you. So welcome.

20
00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:23.840
All right. So just a couple housekeeping. It's not going to be long today.

21
00:02:25.760 --> 00:02:32.080
Just remember, don't be saving those Zoom link passwords and logins because they're not always

22
00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:37.680
going to work. We are switching those out consistently. So just make sure that you're

23
00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:42.400
logging into the app and you're looking under the events and you're checking out the calendar

24
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:49.520
for that day. It will have all the information for your Zoom login. The best way that I have

25
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:57.600
never come into any problems is I just copy the meeting ID. I log into Zoom separately,

26
00:02:58.160 --> 00:03:06.880
and then I join meeting and then I paste the Zoom meeting ID in there. And then it pops up

27
00:03:06.880 --> 00:03:13.920
with the password and I type the password in, which again will be on the events calendar as

28
00:03:13.920 --> 00:03:20.560
well. So that information is there for you. Okay. That is just the easiest way to get logged into

29
00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:27.600
these live calls where you should not have any hiccups. Okay. When you are finished with

30
00:03:27.600 --> 00:03:33.280
Love Story Accelerator. Okay. And when we say you are finished with Love Story Accelerator,

31
00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:38.000
that is you've watched all five videos, but you haven't rushed through them. Okay. You're

32
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:44.880
watching one video a week. Okay. And you've come to some live calls. You've been an active

33
00:03:44.880 --> 00:03:52.240
participant. Okay. Then you can request to move forward by sending an email to admin at

34
00:03:52.240 --> 00:04:03.040
JackieDorman.com. Okay. Please only use that email to request to move on. If you have dating questions,

35
00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:14.000
those questions need to go into our app. Okay. So we can't filter all of the dating questions

36
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:21.040
to that email. That's why we have the app for myself and Ebony to respond to you ladies and

37
00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:27.840
give you tips on how to move through whatever it is that you're experiencing to give you encouragement

38
00:04:27.840 --> 00:04:34.880
to pray for you, whatever it is that you are needing. Sounds good. We also want you logging

39
00:04:34.880 --> 00:04:41.600
in to the app and communicating with us what you're doing in that week. So for example,

40
00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:48.240
we'll do activations. So last week we were talking about, you know, how are you going

41
00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:55.280
to be intentional? How are you shifting out of the waiting mode into the believing and receiving mode

42
00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:59.680
and then come and let us know what it is that you're doing. All right. So that

43
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.700
We are keeping tabs and we know how to pray for you.

44
00:05:02.700 --> 00:05:04.920
We know how to lift you up.

45
00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:06.880
It's super, super helpful.

46
00:05:06.880 --> 00:05:10.160
So now this week, what I would love for you ladies to do

47
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.400
is again, continue to watch Supernatural Saturday.

48
00:05:13.400 --> 00:05:16.920
That needs to also always be on your agenda to do.

49
00:05:16.920 --> 00:05:19.920
If you can't make it live, we have Supernatural Saturday.

50
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:22.420
That is in replay, okay?

51
00:05:24.080 --> 00:05:27.040
So just don't beat yourself up if you can't come live.

52
00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:28.600
I get it frequently.

53
00:05:28.640 --> 00:05:31.520
I can't come live on Saturdays as well.

54
00:05:31.520 --> 00:05:33.640
I am a travel baseball mom.

55
00:05:33.640 --> 00:05:37.400
So we are always on the go.

56
00:05:37.400 --> 00:05:40.660
So we actually just got back from a big tournament.

57
00:05:41.720 --> 00:05:42.880
It was four days long.

58
00:05:42.880 --> 00:05:45.120
So I was out of commission for four whole days.

59
00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:48.080
I thought I was gonna have wifi and I didn't.

60
00:05:48.080 --> 00:05:49.720
So I totally get it.

61
00:05:49.720 --> 00:05:51.840
If you can't come to some of those things live,

62
00:05:51.840 --> 00:05:54.320
but that's why we also have things in replay

63
00:05:54.320 --> 00:05:58.340
that when you do make it to a point where you can watch it

64
00:05:59.080 --> 00:06:01.780
and you can dedicate your time and to do that,

65
00:06:01.780 --> 00:06:04.460
that that is available for you.

66
00:06:04.460 --> 00:06:09.220
So like I said, watch that Supernatural Saturday, all right?

67
00:06:09.220 --> 00:06:10.860
It was really, really timely.

68
00:06:10.860 --> 00:06:14.860
It was really, you know, something that was,

69
00:06:14.860 --> 00:06:17.260
was something that I even had to learn

70
00:06:17.260 --> 00:06:19.180
when I was in this program

71
00:06:19.180 --> 00:06:22.860
was building community and friendships

72
00:06:22.860 --> 00:06:27.260
and also having to truly assess

73
00:06:27.300 --> 00:06:29.460
where my friendships were,

74
00:06:29.460 --> 00:06:31.820
the current ones I had, where I wanted to go

75
00:06:31.820 --> 00:06:34.060
and all those kinds of things, okay?

76
00:06:34.060 --> 00:06:36.380
So with that being said,

77
00:06:36.380 --> 00:06:39.860
I'm gonna give us a few moments for you ladies

78
00:06:39.860 --> 00:06:43.540
to throw up in the chat your contact information.

79
00:06:43.540 --> 00:06:44.940
I used to do this frequently,

80
00:06:44.940 --> 00:06:47.100
but we kind of, kind of sometimes takes up a lot of time,

81
00:06:47.100 --> 00:06:50.180
but I really think it's important ladies

82
00:06:50.180 --> 00:06:55.180
that you grab someone's contact information

83
00:06:55.500 --> 00:06:59.180
from the chat and really be intentional

84
00:06:59.180 --> 00:07:01.060
about reaching out to them this week.

85
00:07:02.740 --> 00:07:06.700
One of the biggest blessings from this community

86
00:07:06.700 --> 00:07:08.580
was the friendships that I made here.

87
00:07:10.980 --> 00:07:14.140
So if there is some, go ahead.

88
00:07:14.140 --> 00:07:14.980
Yes, Lori?

89
00:07:14.980 --> 00:07:17.460
I'm driving, I'm driving.

90
00:07:17.460 --> 00:07:19.940
I see that, I get it.

91
00:07:21.140 --> 00:07:25.060
So when you are at a stop, if you can type it in,

92
00:07:25.940 --> 00:07:26.780
go for it.

93
00:07:26.780 --> 00:07:29.500
Ladies, if you can't and you don't,

94
00:07:29.500 --> 00:07:31.420
you're not able to type it in right now

95
00:07:31.420 --> 00:07:33.020
or you're watching and replay,

96
00:07:33.020 --> 00:07:34.260
because if you're watching and replay,

97
00:07:34.260 --> 00:07:38.060
you can't see the chat, right?

98
00:07:38.060 --> 00:07:43.060
So I'm gonna request that you ladies under the all tab,

99
00:07:44.460 --> 00:07:48.340
put up some contact information in the app

100
00:07:48.340 --> 00:07:51.740
so that your sisters here can reach out to you,

101
00:07:51.740 --> 00:07:53.300
can connect with you.

102
00:07:53.420 --> 00:07:57.780
Start building relationships with, reaching out to.

103
00:07:57.780 --> 00:08:01.060
Like I was saying, that was one of the biggest blessings

104
00:08:01.060 --> 00:08:05.660
from this community that I wasn't even anticipating,

105
00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:07.980
excuse me, when I joined this community.

106
00:08:07.980 --> 00:08:11.420
All right, I was coming in here for heartwork, okay?

107
00:08:11.420 --> 00:08:14.580
I wasn't even sure how I felt about the marriage part.

108
00:08:16.420 --> 00:08:19.180
I was a little like, I don't know about that,

109
00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:22.740
but I knew the heartwork was gonna be really,

110
00:08:23.100 --> 00:08:24.300
really transformational for me.

111
00:08:24.300 --> 00:08:28.540
And so that's what brought me into this program.

112
00:08:28.540 --> 00:08:31.940
And like I said, the friendships that I've built

113
00:08:31.940 --> 00:08:34.860
over the last five years in this community

114
00:08:34.860 --> 00:08:37.659
has been such an incredible blessing.

115
00:08:37.659 --> 00:08:39.740
Many of the women that I made friends with

116
00:08:39.740 --> 00:08:41.980
were invited and came to my wedding.

117
00:08:43.539 --> 00:08:48.100
And even now I'm able to still keep in contact with,

118
00:08:48.100 --> 00:08:51.460
anytime I've gone on trips or vacations when I was single,

119
00:08:51.460 --> 00:08:56.220
and even now as someone who's blending a family,

120
00:08:56.220 --> 00:09:00.460
I have contacts, I have people that I can go and visit

121
00:09:00.460 --> 00:09:02.500
and see and touch base with

122
00:09:02.500 --> 00:09:04.220
and just have relationship with.

123
00:09:04.220 --> 00:09:06.420
And it's been really, really wonderful.

124
00:09:06.420 --> 00:09:09.540
So lots of ladies in there.

125
00:09:10.860 --> 00:09:13.380
So yeah, I know Christine, you're in France,

126
00:09:13.380 --> 00:09:15.060
if you even just put your email,

127
00:09:15.060 --> 00:09:16.860
so maybe you don't wanna share your phone number,

128
00:09:16.860 --> 00:09:19.020
but if you wanna share your email

129
00:09:19.020 --> 00:09:24.020
or if you ladies wanna friend each other on Facebook,

130
00:09:25.980 --> 00:09:28.540
sometimes I think you can look up your Facebook stuff

131
00:09:28.540 --> 00:09:33.540
by your email and stuff or your full name or whatnot, okay?

132
00:09:34.780 --> 00:09:37.580
So there's all sorts of ways, like I said,

133
00:09:37.580 --> 00:09:39.780
if you can't do it right now in the chat,

134
00:09:39.780 --> 00:09:44.260
definitely make a post in our app

135
00:09:44.260 --> 00:09:47.700
so that you all can start making connections that way.

136
00:09:49.700 --> 00:09:53.500
Does anybody wanna share how they were intentional last week

137
00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:56.780
and how they are starting to step into

138
00:09:56.780 --> 00:09:58.500
the believing and receiving mode?

139
00:09:58.500 --> 00:10:00.700
Did anybody have any great breakthrough that?

140
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.300
they want to share. Sandy, I see your hand up.

141
00:10:03.400 --> 00:10:04.800
Do you want to share with us?

142
00:10:08.100 --> 00:10:09.900
Sorry, I'm not used to going first.

143
00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:11.400
So that kind of threw me off.

144
00:10:11.700 --> 00:10:12.400
Oh, you're good.

145
00:10:12.400 --> 00:10:15.680
Now, I didn't open the door for anybody that wanted to share

146
00:10:15.700 --> 00:10:20.880
about like intentionality and yeah, so I don't even have

147
00:10:20.900 --> 00:10:23.300
really a whole lot to share with you ladies for this week.

148
00:10:23.300 --> 00:10:26.480
So we can actually just go in and jump in and taking your

149
00:10:26.500 --> 00:10:27.200
questions.

150
00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:30.280
So ladies, if you want to throw your hands up, put those

151
00:10:30.300 --> 00:10:34.180
avatar hands up and I am here to coach you through whether

152
00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:37.080
it's a dating situation, a heartwork situation, a

153
00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:41.580
friendship situation, a question about our program, whatever

154
00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:42.200
it is.

155
00:10:42.300 --> 00:10:45.100
There's no question that is silly.

156
00:10:47.500 --> 00:10:49.400
Frequently a lot of people that have questions.

157
00:10:49.400 --> 00:10:51.480
They think it's a silly question actually allows a lot

158
00:10:51.500 --> 00:10:52.800
of women to get breakthrough.

159
00:10:53.300 --> 00:10:56.500
So yes, let's throw up our hands and Sandy.

160
00:10:56.500 --> 00:10:59.300
Yes, I'm going to give you the floor first.

161
00:10:59.700 --> 00:11:00.100
Wow.

162
00:11:00.100 --> 00:11:00.600
Okay.

163
00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:04.800
So actually I feel like it was a pretty big week for me.

164
00:11:06.200 --> 00:11:08.900
I heard what you said last week.

165
00:11:08.900 --> 00:11:15.780
You told me to just go for it and with that guy at church,

166
00:11:15.800 --> 00:11:18.700
but I was also in the apps on Hinge.

167
00:11:18.700 --> 00:11:23.180
I've matched with a few guys and I'm like regularly talking

168
00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:24.600
to three one.

169
00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:26.000
We're off the app and texting.

170
00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:29.680
I'm not really feeling like a right away immediate connection,

171
00:11:29.700 --> 00:11:33.780
but I'm trying to like do what we're told in like at least

172
00:11:33.800 --> 00:11:37.880
go on one day or at least give this person a chance and he

173
00:11:37.900 --> 00:11:38.700
seems interested.

174
00:11:38.700 --> 00:11:40.500
So I'm doing that the guy at church.

175
00:11:40.500 --> 00:11:43.600
You told me to kind of suggest I can't see you.

176
00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:44.800
So I'm going to move this.

177
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:51.800
Okay, you told me to suggest like a hangout and on Sunday.

178
00:11:51.800 --> 00:11:54.180
It kind of felt like he was like following me around the

179
00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:55.400
sanctuary a little bit.

180
00:11:55.400 --> 00:11:59.080
Like I was one where like I was standing somewhere talking to

181
00:11:59.100 --> 00:12:01.380
somebody else and he like interrupted the conversation

182
00:12:01.400 --> 00:12:04.180
walked in between us and was like I still have the glowstick

183
00:12:04.200 --> 00:12:08.880
you gave me by the way, and I was like, okay, but I was like

184
00:12:08.900 --> 00:12:11.580
talking to somebody and then he like circled back came back

185
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:14.880
through and brought it up again and I was like, okay, we'll

186
00:12:14.900 --> 00:12:17.480
show proof but then I just was like, all right, I'll go talk

187
00:12:17.500 --> 00:12:17.900
to this guy.

188
00:12:17.900 --> 00:12:19.000
He's coming back around.

189
00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:20.100
So I talked to him a little bit.

190
00:12:20.100 --> 00:12:21.500
My mom interrupted.

191
00:12:21.700 --> 00:12:23.000
We went our separate ways.

192
00:12:23.100 --> 00:12:25.300
I walked all the way to the left.

193
00:12:25.300 --> 00:12:26.800
He went all the way to the right.

194
00:12:27.300 --> 00:12:31.280
I started talking to somebody else and he comes back around

195
00:12:31.300 --> 00:12:34.780
and he's standing over there by himself looking like he's

196
00:12:34.800 --> 00:12:35.800
loitering.

197
00:12:35.800 --> 00:12:38.800
So I'm like, okay, I'm not crazy.

198
00:12:38.800 --> 00:12:40.100
I think this guy is into me.

199
00:12:40.300 --> 00:12:42.680
So after I wrapped up this conversation, I thought I could

200
00:12:42.700 --> 00:12:44.100
walk away or I could walk to him.

201
00:12:44.100 --> 00:12:45.200
So I walked to him.

202
00:12:45.500 --> 00:12:46.400
We're talking.

203
00:12:47.500 --> 00:12:49.880
And then later I had texted him because I was like, look, I'm

204
00:12:49.900 --> 00:12:51.980
just going to text him this because he like ran away from

205
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:52.900
the conversation.

206
00:12:53.100 --> 00:12:54.600
He's talking about the glow stick.

207
00:12:55.800 --> 00:12:59.080
I said that he was the only person I gave a blue one to and

208
00:12:59.100 --> 00:13:05.980
he said, oh, so it was special and I was like, yeah, you're

209
00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.900
getting it and then he ran away, which is weird.

210
00:13:08.900 --> 00:13:10.900
I'm like, we're like in our mid 30s.

211
00:13:10.900 --> 00:13:12.300
Like this is strange.

212
00:13:12.400 --> 00:13:14.200
So I texted him and I asked him.

213
00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:17.380
I basically said, hey, I feel like there's been a flirty

214
00:13:17.400 --> 00:13:17.800
vibe.

215
00:13:17.800 --> 00:13:20.880
Like I want to make sure I'm not misinterpreting is there

216
00:13:20.880 --> 00:13:23.760
like, you know, I just want to make sure I'm not misinterpreting

217
00:13:23.780 --> 00:13:24.480
ask for clarity.

218
00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:27.280
And he essentially told me he was not interested in me.

219
00:13:29.380 --> 00:13:30.780
Which super threw me off.

220
00:13:30.780 --> 00:13:32.480
Like he said, what?

221
00:13:36.280 --> 00:13:37.680
Oh, you muted yourself, honey.

222
00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:41.280
Okay, there you are.

223
00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:43.480
So he basically, what did I leave off?

224
00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:44.780
Did you, did I tell you?

225
00:13:44.780 --> 00:13:48.760
Okay, I heard that you got thrown off because he basically

226
00:13:48.780 --> 00:13:50.480
said he was not interested.

227
00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:53.560
He said he was being friendly and that he doesn't, his words

228
00:13:53.580 --> 00:13:56.760
were, he was being, he thought that he was just being friendly

229
00:13:56.780 --> 00:13:59.760
and silly and that he doesn't see it going that direction,

230
00:13:59.780 --> 00:14:04.060
which doesn't make any sense because he somehow got my phone

231
00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:04.580
number.

232
00:14:04.580 --> 00:14:07.280
I don't know where, I don't, I didn't know he had my number.

233
00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:09.280
He's following me around church.

234
00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:10.280
His face is red.

235
00:14:10.280 --> 00:14:11.480
He's acting nervous.

236
00:14:11.680 --> 00:14:14.780
He looks like he likes me and then he said he didn't, so

237
00:14:16.780 --> 00:14:17.480
weird.

238
00:14:18.680 --> 00:14:19.080
I don't know.

239
00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:19.680
Here's the thing.

240
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:21.780
You put yourself out there.

241
00:14:22.780 --> 00:14:27.360
And now if that's the, what he's communicated to you, you can

242
00:14:27.380 --> 00:14:28.980
just go on your way.

243
00:14:29.480 --> 00:14:31.680
Yeah, right, right.

244
00:14:31.680 --> 00:14:32.180
Uh-huh.

245
00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:35.360
You know, and who knows, you know, and if he is, if he's

246
00:14:35.380 --> 00:14:37.560
still acting weird and goofy and all that kind of stuff, then

247
00:14:37.580 --> 00:14:41.860
you know what now you put it on him to have to reach out to

248
00:14:41.880 --> 00:14:43.580
you, right?

249
00:14:44.280 --> 00:14:45.680
Yeah, so weird.

250
00:14:45.980 --> 00:14:48.180
I was being gaslit almost by myself.

251
00:14:48.180 --> 00:14:51.260
Like I thought I kind of went through a tiny mini spiral

252
00:14:51.280 --> 00:14:54.560
where I was like, am I so single that when a man talks to

253
00:14:54.580 --> 00:14:56.080
me at church, I think he likes me.

254
00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:58.880
But then I said, no, no, no, I'm not going to gaslight myself.

255
00:14:58.880 --> 00:15:00.080
This guy literally.

256
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.580
acted, even other people were like, he likes you. So I did it.

257
00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:06.480
I just went, I left my house. I didn't stay home. I didn't

258
00:15:06.620 --> 00:15:10.500
spiral for longer than at least an hour. And then I went and

259
00:15:10.500 --> 00:15:14.220
played pickleball with friends. So I really didn't sit here. I

260
00:15:14.220 --> 00:15:17.460
felt like I did log on to the prophetic meeting, but they just

261
00:15:17.460 --> 00:15:19.820
kept talking about making friends. I'm like, I have like

262
00:15:19.920 --> 00:15:23.540
20 friends. I don't want to sit here and talk about I just got

263
00:15:23.540 --> 00:15:26.860
friend zoned by somebody. It was like, so just like not what I

264
00:15:26.860 --> 00:15:30.040
needed in the moment. So I went to go play pickleball. But I

265
00:15:30.040 --> 00:15:33.880
mean, I'm still talking to three guys, I feel like I'm doing

266
00:15:33.880 --> 00:15:36.600
something, you're still moving forward, you're still, you know,

267
00:15:36.600 --> 00:15:39.600
progressing, you're still just, you know, again, that's ladies,

268
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:43.360
that's going to be so important, like, it is going to happen in

269
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:48.120
God's timing. And I can't stress this enough, like you ladies,

270
00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:51.200
you're going to go through the ups and downs. And you know,

271
00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:53.560
you're going to be good, like where things are at, and then

272
00:15:53.560 --> 00:15:55.900
you're going to get in these lows where you're like, why isn't

273
00:15:55.900 --> 00:15:58.760
it happening? Or it's not happening the way that we want

274
00:15:58.760 --> 00:16:02.920
it to the best advice that I can give is just keep pressing

275
00:16:02.920 --> 00:16:06.400
forward, keep showing up, keep doing you know, what it is that

276
00:16:06.400 --> 00:16:12.040
you're doing. Enjoy life. Enjoy life. I mean, there were times

277
00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:15.680
where I felt like I just put myself boggled down with all of

278
00:16:15.680 --> 00:16:19.040
the dating stuff that I wasn't enjoying life. And when I when I

279
00:16:19.040 --> 00:16:22.840
recognize that I had to pull myself out of it being like,

280
00:16:22.900 --> 00:16:26.740
okay, no, what's going on in my life? What can I be focusing on

281
00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:30.540
right now? What's important to me in this moment, and move

282
00:16:30.540 --> 00:16:33.940
forward. So whether it's friendships, or like Sandy did,

283
00:16:33.940 --> 00:16:37.020
she she went and played pickleball, she she got herself

284
00:16:37.060 --> 00:16:41.220
out of that mindset. Ladies, that is going to you're going to

285
00:16:41.260 --> 00:16:46.380
that's growth, ladies. If you can, if you can sit and feel the

286
00:16:46.380 --> 00:16:49.900
fields to heal the fields, but you also don't want to sit in

287
00:16:50.800 --> 00:16:57.160
sulk in it either. Pick yourself up, move forward. Remember, you

288
00:16:57.160 --> 00:17:01.880
can't mess anything up. All right. You can't mess up

289
00:17:01.880 --> 00:17:07.880
something that isn't yours. All right. So if this guy's being a

290
00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:11.800
weirdo, then guess what? It's probably not hers. Right? Sit

291
00:17:11.800 --> 00:17:15.520
up. She can just keep moving forward. She's gonna go enjoy

292
00:17:15.520 --> 00:17:19.740
herself, go play some pickleball. Who knows? She

293
00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:22.900
could have possibly met somebody playing pickleball. And she

294
00:17:22.900 --> 00:17:24.520
wouldn't have even known that, right?

295
00:17:24.540 --> 00:17:27.520
There was a really hot guy that was there that my friend brought.

296
00:17:27.780 --> 00:17:31.180
Like she invited me and there was like, three men and one of

297
00:17:31.180 --> 00:17:33.900
them was really attractive. I didn't really like talk to him

298
00:17:33.900 --> 00:17:37.660
that much because I was intimidated. But that was a

299
00:17:37.660 --> 00:17:40.360
lesson I feel like because I was like, I left my house being sat

300
00:17:40.360 --> 00:17:43.620
over this like, goofy guy. And there's this super hot guy

301
00:17:43.620 --> 00:17:46.020
playing pickleball and like hitting the balls at me really

302
00:17:46.020 --> 00:17:49.280
fast. And I was like, Oh, I just walked into another situation

303
00:17:49.280 --> 00:17:51.040
where a friend introduced me to somebody.

304
00:17:51.900 --> 00:17:54.440
Ladies, you never know how you're going to meet your

305
00:17:54.440 --> 00:17:59.240
person. And you can't meet your person if you're sitting in your

306
00:17:59.240 --> 00:18:03.520
house kind of being sorry, feeling sorry for yourself. And

307
00:18:03.520 --> 00:18:06.960
I say that because I did it at times. Sometimes I just needed a

308
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:10.560
day where I needed to feel sorry for myself. And then I had to

309
00:18:10.560 --> 00:18:14.500
also get myself out of it and still go enjoy and live life,

310
00:18:14.940 --> 00:18:17.980
especially with the people that I was around. All right. It's

311
00:18:17.980 --> 00:18:21.540
also why we expressed to you ladies in the beginning and the

312
00:18:21.540 --> 00:18:25.540
love story accelerator video is go and let people know that

313
00:18:25.540 --> 00:18:30.660
you're single and ready to mingle. All right, let your

314
00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:35.280
friends know, hey, I'm in this program. I'm really working on

315
00:18:35.280 --> 00:18:40.540
myself. I believe that God has somebody for me. And you know,

316
00:18:40.560 --> 00:18:45.140
if you know of anybody, please send them my way. Let your

317
00:18:45.140 --> 00:18:49.340
friends know. Okay, and then you got your sisters here. And

318
00:18:49.340 --> 00:18:51.820
that's why another thing we we express to you ladies, if

319
00:18:51.820 --> 00:18:55.680
someone's not for you, but they're a good guy, connect them

320
00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:58.800
to our community. They might not be for you. But maybe they're

321
00:18:58.800 --> 00:19:02.580
for one of your sisters here in this community. That's what that

322
00:19:02.580 --> 00:19:06.820
happened to me. My friend from this community, she was already

323
00:19:06.820 --> 00:19:10.760
dating somebody and saw my husband's profile was like, it

324
00:19:10.760 --> 00:19:14.320
looks like a good guy for Carla. And she reached out to him and

325
00:19:14.320 --> 00:19:17.720
he thought it was the strangest thing. But she had actually

326
00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:21.720
prayed that God would need to bring his wife in a very weird

327
00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:25.900
way. Well, nothing more weird than a chick reaching out to

328
00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:29.080
you that you don't know not not because she's interested in you

329
00:19:29.080 --> 00:19:32.840
but because she wants you to hook up with a friend. Once you

330
00:19:32.840 --> 00:19:37.300
to meet her friend, right? Like, hey, like I got someone

331
00:19:37.300 --> 00:19:40.060
for you. It's not me. It's my friend like that that doesn't

332
00:19:40.060 --> 00:19:46.500
typically happen in in our society nowadays. Right? So keep

333
00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:50.580
that in mind. Okay, ladies. All right, Sandy, keep us posted

334
00:19:50.580 --> 00:19:53.900
about those three guys that you are chatting with. And I love

335
00:19:53.900 --> 00:19:56.740
the fact that you said that you didn't feel some connection

336
00:19:56.740 --> 00:19:59.700
right away, but you're still giving it a yes until to know

337
00:19:59.700 --> 00:19:59.900
because

338
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.760
these again you're not always going to feel the spark and Jackie will oftentimes

339
00:20:06.760 --> 00:20:15.880
teach that sometimes the romantic spark is actually a red flag okay so keep that

340
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:22.220
in mind all right so it's okay if you don't feel this instantaneous like oh my

341
00:20:22.220 --> 00:20:26.300
gosh like this might be my soulmate okay we don't want you feeling like that with

342
00:20:26.300 --> 00:20:29.600
somebody that you don't know yet all right so I love that you're keeping that

343
00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:35.060
open all right Candy welcome it's so good to have you for the first time yes

344
00:20:35.060 --> 00:20:42.620
yes okay so my question is I actually I posted on the on the ask the coach as

345
00:20:42.620 --> 00:20:46.620
well I'm doing ambling kind of answer me so but I have more questions so the

346
00:20:46.620 --> 00:20:50.780
story is you know back in February 2000 this year I met this guy on a dating app

347
00:20:50.780 --> 00:20:56.220
and and we talked for a couple weeks and he lives actually not far from me but

348
00:20:56.220 --> 00:21:01.080
presently at that time he was in California so I'm in East Coast he was

349
00:21:01.080 --> 00:21:05.320
in California his job he's like just renovating a house so he needed for a

350
00:21:05.320 --> 00:21:10.520
few months so back then he said okay I'll be back into PA in in the end of

351
00:21:10.520 --> 00:21:15.000
April so I was like okay good so then let's have a so we have a video chat

352
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:19.800
just to make sure that we are not scammer you know so we have a we have a

353
00:21:19.800 --> 00:21:24.320
chat and then you know it went well and I know he's a he's Catholic and all that

354
00:21:24.320 --> 00:21:31.580
but then the more we talk and then he said oh I cannot go back to PA until

355
00:21:31.580 --> 00:21:37.900
like the end of May and then so then I just and then and then in April I joined

356
00:21:37.900 --> 00:21:41.900
this program the last year single and then I I kind of like not talking to him

357
00:21:41.900 --> 00:21:45.260
that much because I know that we're not supposed to date and I don't I don't you

358
00:21:45.260 --> 00:21:50.940
know we just keep a very casual conversation but then you and then you

359
00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:55.200
may I have a I have a big trip to go so I went to Europe for three weeks but I

360
00:21:55.200 --> 00:22:01.920
came back with I injured my leg so so so now I'm home resting and try to recover

361
00:22:01.920 --> 00:22:06.760
but he so because I'm home and he knows I'm home so we have been talking more

362
00:22:06.760 --> 00:22:12.520
than usual but when he called me he's always like when he is on on on on his

363
00:22:12.520 --> 00:22:16.860
car you know because he's he's renovating his house so he's busy but I

364
00:22:16.920 --> 00:22:21.840
cannot imagine his busy 24-7 but he when he called me is only when when he's on

365
00:22:21.840 --> 00:22:28.360
the call like I'll go to pick up a pick up a fast food fast food from a restaurant

366
00:22:28.360 --> 00:22:32.680
like I can tell he's doing something he's not giving me the undivided

367
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:36.840
attention so I feel like it's you know I feel like I don't know I feel like he

368
00:22:36.840 --> 00:22:43.200
always fit me into his schedule so in so in June so this month early on this June

369
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:47.140
I kind of like just kind of ignore him just move on my life you know like this

370
00:22:47.140 --> 00:22:51.380
because I have to heal my body and then also you know have friends coming in to

371
00:22:51.380 --> 00:22:55.560
visit and all that so then later on he said oh I don't I see that you're not

372
00:22:55.560 --> 00:22:59.620
interested in me so good luck and then I was like what is this coming from you

373
00:22:59.620 --> 00:23:04.500
know I'm interested but but and I said to him okay actually early on I said to

374
00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:10.020
him you want this relationship to go at your own at your terms right and then

375
00:23:10.020 --> 00:23:14.280
he's like oh no it's not the case under why being very okay I'm gonna cut you

376
00:23:14.280 --> 00:23:19.020
off for a second okay sure he but you guys don't even live near each other

377
00:23:19.020 --> 00:23:25.040
right well we we can move back to PA you will be okay but he's not there yet is

378
00:23:25.040 --> 00:23:31.880
he right he's not there yet okay so I don't think you know if he's not there

379
00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:35.600
there's really not much of a relationship that you can have if you're

380
00:23:35.600 --> 00:23:40.420
not I mean have you met in person no not yet that's why I'm waiting for him

381
00:23:40.420 --> 00:23:46.500
to come back to PA to his post I think at this point like what I would ask you

382
00:23:46.500 --> 00:23:51.580
is what what feelings are surfacing for you if he's not giving you the attention

383
00:23:51.580 --> 00:23:56.420
that you're wanting I'm kind of I'm not happy about that I feel I'm not

384
00:23:56.420 --> 00:24:00.700
important that's what we have to get to we have to get to what is coming up

385
00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:04.940
because again this is a this is a level two relationship this is someone that

386
00:24:04.940 --> 00:24:10.440
you don't know very well okay it's it's not that he might not be interested it

387
00:24:10.440 --> 00:24:16.340
just might not be the right time right we have to kind of uncover what is it

388
00:24:16.340 --> 00:24:21.120
that surfacing that you don't like and why is it that you don't like it well

389
00:24:21.120 --> 00:24:27.800
because I okay on a person okay because for me reciprocals reciprocation is very

390
00:24:27.800 --> 00:24:33.080
important to me okay so if I give him and divide the attention when he call me

391
00:24:33.100 --> 00:24:38.740
I really present you know the person I'm talking to you I'm present whatever you

392
00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:42.780
talk to me I remember let's say if I decided if I promise you that I'm going

393
00:24:42.780 --> 00:24:47.180
to call you but I will call you back rather for him you know he'll text me

394
00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:50.900
something but he used to recording you know you know the voice voice recording

395
00:24:50.900 --> 00:24:58.340
so there's a whole bunch of typo on the text messages so what he was saying no

396
00:24:58.340 --> 00:25:01.820
no not not voice recording I'm sorry

397
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.560
I think he recorded on the text message.

398
00:25:01.560 --> 00:25:04.440
Oh, I see what you're saying, like he's doing a voice to text.

399
00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:09.160
Right, so then there's a whole bunch of typo mistakes, and I text him back saying I don't

400
00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:10.960
know what you're talking about.

401
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:14.120
So again, with all this, I feel like he's not being sincere.

402
00:25:14.120 --> 00:25:16.040
Did he go back and correct himself?

403
00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:19.720
No, he said, oh, I'm sorry, I don't mean that, you know, like that.

404
00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:24.480
And when I point it out to him, he will, but only if I point it out to him.

405
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:25.480
Okay.

406
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:31.320
Ladies, I think this is just really, really important, okay?

407
00:25:31.320 --> 00:25:37.400
We can't, like, I, again, 100%, I agree on the reciprocating efforts, okay?

408
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.000
If someone's, if you're reaching out to them, you want them to reciprocate and reach out

409
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:42.000
to you.

410
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:43.000
That's the reciprocation.

411
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:48.680
Reciprocation, though, isn't, if I do this, then I expect someone else to do the same

412
00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:50.840
thing, okay?

413
00:25:50.840 --> 00:25:51.840
I get it.

414
00:25:52.560 --> 00:25:58.280
If I'm giving you my undivided attention, I would like your undivided attention, but

415
00:25:58.280 --> 00:26:04.800
if that's not happening, we can't get to a point where we're upset and we're holding

416
00:26:04.800 --> 00:26:09.520
it against them if we're not willing to put those boundaries and communicate what our

417
00:26:09.520 --> 00:26:11.600
needs are in place.

418
00:26:11.600 --> 00:26:21.440
So if he, if it seems like you're not, like, if it feels like he's not giving you the attention,

419
00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:28.360
you say, hey, it seems like you might be preoccupied or busy.

420
00:26:28.360 --> 00:26:34.400
Is there a different time that we can connect to where I can get more of your attention

421
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:36.760
without distractions?

422
00:26:36.760 --> 00:26:38.440
And you're putting it on them.

423
00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:41.720
And then, ladies, again, it's the texting back and forth.

424
00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:48.200
This is why it's so important to try to have phone calls, video calls, because then you

425
00:26:48.200 --> 00:26:50.520
get their undivided attention.

426
00:26:50.600 --> 00:26:57.960
I can't tell you how frequently I'm constantly on the move and on the go, and I have to stop.

427
00:26:57.960 --> 00:27:02.960
And even with my friends, like, I can't give them the undivided attention.

428
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:08.280
Now, if it's something serious and my friend's like, hey, I really need to schedule a call

429
00:27:08.280 --> 00:27:09.280
with you.

430
00:27:09.280 --> 00:27:10.280
Okay, cool.

431
00:27:10.280 --> 00:27:11.800
Let's do that.

432
00:27:11.800 --> 00:27:15.120
Then I can give the attention.

433
00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:22.640
What I think is really important is this, ladies, when you are dating people and things

434
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:28.920
are starting to surface and you find yourself getting irritated, annoyed, frustrated, just

435
00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:34.800
overwhelmed, ladies, that's heart stuff.

436
00:27:34.800 --> 00:27:40.200
And we have to be willing to go to the Lord with what is this.

437
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:43.040
This is when we want to use heart work tools.

438
00:27:43.040 --> 00:27:45.080
I'm not saying that it's not valid.

439
00:27:45.080 --> 00:27:48.520
It's valid to feel frustrated and annoyed when someone that you're wanting to invest

440
00:27:48.520 --> 00:27:53.280
time in and get to know them and you don't feel like it's being reciprocated.

441
00:27:53.280 --> 00:27:59.720
It's valid to feel annoyed by that, but we can't hold these expectations to someone that

442
00:27:59.720 --> 00:28:04.000
we don't know well enough unless we're willing to communicate.

443
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:08.480
But if we're going to get irritated and upset with somebody and be like, oh, I guess you're

444
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:14.360
not interested in me and be kind of passive aggressive, that's not healthy either.

445
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:22.960
And we have to uncover what feelings and beliefs are surfacing that's leading us into that

446
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:24.760
direction.

447
00:28:24.760 --> 00:28:25.760
Does that make sense?

448
00:28:25.760 --> 00:28:29.600
Yeah, but I just have a little correction.

449
00:28:29.600 --> 00:28:32.840
He's the one who said to me that I guess you're not interested.

450
00:28:32.840 --> 00:28:34.800
So he's the one who said it.

451
00:28:34.800 --> 00:28:41.160
And then did you give him a phone call and say, hey, I apologize if it came off that

452
00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:42.160
I wasn't interested.

453
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:45.320
I actually would like to continue to get to know you.

454
00:28:45.320 --> 00:28:50.960
It's just been a little difficult because it seems like our schedules make it very challenging.

455
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:54.920
Would you like to jump on a call with me or do a video chat sometime?

456
00:28:54.920 --> 00:28:55.920
Yeah.

457
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:56.920
No, he did.

458
00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:57.920
He did that way.

459
00:28:57.920 --> 00:28:59.320
Yes, I did.

460
00:28:59.320 --> 00:29:00.320
And he did call me.

461
00:29:00.320 --> 00:29:05.320
It just that when he called me, it's always sometimes I just in during the inconvenience

462
00:29:05.320 --> 00:29:10.000
time, you know, like it could be I'm almost going to sleep, you know, or maybe someone

463
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:12.160
my friends coming, you know, that kind of thing.

464
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:16.760
Well, then are you communicating that, hey, these are the times I'm available or any of

465
00:29:16.760 --> 00:29:18.240
those times going to work for you?

466
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:19.520
No, I did.

467
00:29:19.520 --> 00:29:21.440
But he didn't call me at the time to be indicated.

468
00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:23.840
Normally, he just call me whenever he's free.

469
00:29:23.840 --> 00:29:30.200
OK, well, then just say, hey, I just I apologize, but I'm going to need you know, I'm busy.

470
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:35.480
I have a busy schedule and ask him, is this time or this time work for you?

471
00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:39.680
These are times that work for me or either of those times going to work for you.

472
00:29:39.680 --> 00:29:43.800
Be direct, ladies, you have to be direct with men.

473
00:29:43.800 --> 00:29:48.000
But is it do you think it's OK if I tell him how I feel?

474
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:52.200
Well, I mean, I think it's again, ladies.

475
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:53.200
It's how we communicate.

476
00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:55.640
It's again, it's stepping in there are divine feminine.

477
00:29:55.640 --> 00:29:59.480
Candy, have you watched the Divine Feminine video yet?

478
00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:00.000
Yes.

479
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.280
Okay, I did go go back and watch that because again, I think

480
00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:12.120
There's a way of being able to communicate in a soft way. That's not threatening. Okay, we can express

481
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:16.600
What our feelings are and what our perspective is

482
00:30:17.320 --> 00:30:21.440
But we want to make sure that we're not going on defense either

483
00:30:23.080 --> 00:30:24.560
Okay

484
00:30:24.560 --> 00:30:28.880
Yes, yes, and you can say look I really want to get to know you I

485
00:30:29.720 --> 00:30:35.280
Wonder if maybe our schedules are not really in sync. Is that what you're feeling, too?

486
00:30:35.280 --> 00:30:41.800
I mean, this is that's how you communicate with them. And if he's like, yeah, man, I'm so busy. I got all this going on

487
00:30:41.840 --> 00:30:44.860
Hey, look, I get it. I completely understand

488
00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:51.680
I'm in a season right now where I'm just open to getting to know people and and and dating so

489
00:30:53.520 --> 00:30:56.800
I'd still be open to you know, continue to get to know you better

490
00:30:57.800 --> 00:31:03.880
So let's try to find a day or time this week where we can jump on a video call

491
00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:07.080
Until you can get to PA and we can meet in person

492
00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:13.240
But candy, are you dating other people right now? Are you out looking at other people and like?

493
00:31:14.120 --> 00:31:20.160
No, I'm not because I'm I'm trying to heal my foot. So it's not convenience for me to go out

494
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:25.520
So I haven't really I mean I did it in the past but I haven't done it for a while. Yeah

495
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.200
Okay, well, I mean but I don't think that just I mean I get the whole you need to heal and you're not gonna be

496
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:32.680
Able to do any physical probably in-person dates

497
00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:38.960
But it doesn't mean that you can't be on an app and trying to get to know people and putting that into practice

498
00:31:39.400 --> 00:31:45.760
Okay, and getting to know people. I don't want you to get so consumed with this one guy that you're

499
00:31:46.320 --> 00:31:49.560
You're you're finding yourself in this this cycle here

500
00:31:49.760 --> 00:31:53.480
We're getting worked up and getting emotional about someone that is

501
00:31:54.280 --> 00:31:58.200
Still a stranger to you, right? Right, right. Yes

502
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:05.720
Okay, great. Thank you. Keep us posted candy. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Ashley. You're you're up next

503
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:14.320
Sorry, I'm in the middle of eating my lunch. Oh, you're good. I

504
00:32:14.800 --> 00:32:22.120
Don't know that I necessarily have a question. I just wanted to update you on where I'm at. What I'm absolutely anything. Um,

505
00:32:23.040 --> 00:32:25.040
I've been I've gone through a really

506
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:27.840
intense season with family and

507
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:32.880
Travel and just life so I kind of put everything on the back burner. Yeah

508
00:32:33.920 --> 00:32:39.360
As you have a few apps that I'm trying going to try you've heard me say it. I really don't like it

509
00:32:39.360 --> 00:32:41.360
I don't know that anybody really has

510
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:48.480
There's something deep in me that like I just hate it I absolutely hate it I hate the feeling of it I hate the

511
00:32:49.040 --> 00:32:50.880
putting myself out there in

512
00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:52.880
um

513
00:32:52.920 --> 00:33:00.160
Like like swiping or whatever the term is and then because I went like six weeks and nobody

514
00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:05.280
Like there was no reciprocation which I mean I get it totally get it

515
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:07.600
but

516
00:33:07.600 --> 00:33:09.600
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

517
00:33:10.320 --> 00:33:13.840
Um, I just don't maybe it's maybe it's Facebook dating

518
00:33:13.840 --> 00:33:18.920
I like that because you can see like mutual friends and like yeah, I feel like there's

519
00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:22.520
You get more information if they put it on there

520
00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:29.360
Yeah, and the mutual friends thing really intrigues me because I'm gonna be like, what do you know about this person? Yeah. Yep. I did

521
00:33:31.760 --> 00:33:37.240
Yeah, but I I actually just started I started talking to this guy on there and

522
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:45.080
It's it's not gonna go anywhere because we had a conversation like one of the big things that is really really seriously important to me is

523
00:33:47.640 --> 00:33:53.640
That yes that they love Jesus, but that they it's not just a or say that they're a Christian

524
00:33:53.640 --> 00:33:56.120
But it's not just that they say they're a Christian that they love Jesus

525
00:33:56.120 --> 00:34:00.680
And so we talked a little bit. He said you look you seem really amazing and I'm like I am

526
00:34:02.280 --> 00:34:04.280
But uh

527
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:06.720
But uh

528
00:34:06.920 --> 00:34:11.239
He said your profile looks amazing which I was like, I don't really feel like there's that much information

529
00:34:11.239 --> 00:34:17.440
So he didn't ask a lot of questions. Okay, so he asked if I could cook which was hilarious. He said he hated it

530
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:22.280
So I responded and said yes and yada

531
00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:28.520
But one of the questions that I asked him was what does it mean to you to be a Christian because I'm I'm not looking

532
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:33.960
Personally not looking to find someone to bring up with me like to my level

533
00:34:33.960 --> 00:34:39.040
I mean, I want somebody and need someone who's gonna lead because I see that as a

534
00:34:40.120 --> 00:34:42.120
strong core value for me

535
00:34:43.080 --> 00:34:45.080
And he said

536
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:54.360
He said that he didn't believe that going to the church made you made you a Christian it's all about your acts and

537
00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:59.880
Following a person doesn't you know, he's basically said he doesn't go to church and he

538
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.560
it's all about works for him.

539
00:35:01.560 --> 00:35:04.860
And that's my churchy interpretation of what he said,

540
00:35:04.860 --> 00:35:05.700
you know?

541
00:35:05.700 --> 00:35:07.040
And I said, well, he said,

542
00:35:07.040 --> 00:35:09.880
following one person doesn't make you a better person.

543
00:35:09.880 --> 00:35:11.640
And I'm like, well, none of it makes,

544
00:35:11.640 --> 00:35:13.260
like you're not going,

545
00:35:14.720 --> 00:35:16.480
misunderstanding of what, you know,

546
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:18.280
the relationship really is that it's,

547
00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:21.360
it's not, it's by works.

548
00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:22.840
It's not by works, but it's through faith.

549
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:24.560
And, you know, I was like, well,

550
00:35:24.560 --> 00:35:26.660
following one person really does make you a better person.

551
00:35:26.660 --> 00:35:27.500
That's Jesus.

552
00:35:27.500 --> 00:35:32.500
And I started to feel like more like evangelizing.

553
00:35:32.600 --> 00:35:34.360
Yeah. We don't want to do the ministry dating.

554
00:35:34.360 --> 00:35:35.200
Like, no.

555
00:35:35.200 --> 00:35:39.680
And I was like, so, but how would you say, just like,

556
00:35:39.680 --> 00:35:41.520
I mean, cause this is all still very new to me.

557
00:35:41.520 --> 00:35:43.040
I don't know how to shut,

558
00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:45.680
shut it down the whole blessing block situation.

559
00:35:47.680 --> 00:35:50.080
Cause I don't want it to be like one of those things

560
00:35:50.080 --> 00:35:53.860
where next time somebody like ministers to him or whatever.

561
00:35:53.860 --> 00:35:55.960
And he's, well, there was that one girl, Ashley,

562
00:35:55.960 --> 00:35:59.140
she shut me down because I wasn't her kind of Christian,

563
00:35:59.140 --> 00:36:00.060
you know?

564
00:36:00.060 --> 00:36:00.900
Yeah, no.

565
00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:04.180
I mean, I think that's why this is, again,

566
00:36:04.180 --> 00:36:05.620
we just give guardrails.

567
00:36:05.620 --> 00:36:07.820
We don't give any hard rules here.

568
00:36:07.820 --> 00:36:08.660
Okay.

569
00:36:09.860 --> 00:36:14.140
One thing that I learned over time is, you know,

570
00:36:14.140 --> 00:36:18.100
especially when we're on the apps, ladies, obviously,

571
00:36:18.100 --> 00:36:20.180
you know, we have our preferences.

572
00:36:20.180 --> 00:36:22.420
I, you know, and, and again, like,

573
00:36:23.300 --> 00:36:25.780
we let you ladies lead what your preferences are.

574
00:36:26.480 --> 00:36:27.760
But for me, when I was dating, it was,

575
00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:30.800
I was not going to swipe on them unless they,

576
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:34.200
they put in that like little blurb where it's like,

577
00:36:34.200 --> 00:36:35.880
what's your faith, religious, whatever.

578
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:37.920
If they put Christian, if they put Christian,

579
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:39.240
I gave them a shot.

580
00:36:39.240 --> 00:36:41.640
If they were putting atheist in there, I didn't.

581
00:36:41.640 --> 00:36:44.120
Okay. Cause that was like, okay, that was my guardrail.

582
00:36:44.120 --> 00:36:47.000
That was, that was my, that was my preference.

583
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:52.000
And so I made a choice that when I'm on the apps,

584
00:36:52.940 --> 00:36:55.900
I was going to like, and swap, and engage with people

585
00:36:55.900 --> 00:36:56.900
that said they were Christian.

586
00:36:56.900 --> 00:37:01.060
Now, what I did based on what I was suggested to do

587
00:37:01.060 --> 00:37:05.500
and was coached to do in this program was I,

588
00:37:05.500 --> 00:37:08.560
I practiced being a fruit inspector.

589
00:37:09.460 --> 00:37:13.540
I didn't expect a guy that says he's a Christian

590
00:37:13.540 --> 00:37:17.460
to have the same belief systems as I did.

591
00:37:19.420 --> 00:37:20.780
Okay.

592
00:37:20.780 --> 00:37:24.520
I didn't, I didn't have the expectation on them.

593
00:37:24.520 --> 00:37:25.680
Okay.

594
00:37:25.680 --> 00:37:28.880
I just was seeing them as they're a person

595
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:33.060
that I can get to know and God will highlight

596
00:37:33.060 --> 00:37:35.320
whether or not this person is for me or not.

597
00:37:35.320 --> 00:37:38.240
And if they are, and if they're not,

598
00:37:38.240 --> 00:37:40.000
God can actually still use that,

599
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.540
use this person to grow me in areas that I need to grow in

600
00:37:44.540 --> 00:37:47.120
to prepare myself for marriage.

601
00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:50.540
And so it's one of the reasons why we really do encourage

602
00:37:51.300 --> 00:37:54.480
you ladies don't jump out the gate about their faith.

603
00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:55.400
Okay.

604
00:37:55.400 --> 00:37:59.280
Because I can tell you, there are some men out there

605
00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:02.240
that know how to lay it on thick and make it sound like

606
00:38:02.240 --> 00:38:05.400
they have this just die hard love for Jesus

607
00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:06.840
and they are not good men.

608
00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:13.440
So we don't want to get ourselves so consumed with that

609
00:38:13.620 --> 00:38:16.540
that right now in this stage, it is discovery dating.

610
00:38:16.540 --> 00:38:19.680
We are just learning about a person.

611
00:38:19.680 --> 00:38:23.380
And I know, ladies, I know some of you are sitting here,

612
00:38:23.380 --> 00:38:26.240
but I don't want to waste my time,

613
00:38:26.240 --> 00:38:28.540
but I already know what I want.

614
00:38:28.540 --> 00:38:29.740
I get it.

615
00:38:29.740 --> 00:38:30.580
Okay.

616
00:38:30.580 --> 00:38:34.580
I get this argument all the time when we coach this.

617
00:38:34.580 --> 00:38:38.660
It really is about a supernatural surrender.

618
00:38:40.140 --> 00:38:43.980
We don't doubt that you have a belief of like what it is

619
00:38:43.980 --> 00:38:46.540
that you know that you need in a person.

620
00:38:46.540 --> 00:38:49.080
I was the same way.

621
00:38:50.340 --> 00:38:54.100
But when I released it and I allowed God to move in my life

622
00:38:54.100 --> 00:38:55.900
and move in the whole dating,

623
00:38:55.900 --> 00:38:58.340
there were things that got unlocked

624
00:38:58.340 --> 00:39:00.580
and things that I learned and grown in

625
00:39:00.580 --> 00:39:04.100
that had I been so particular about that,

626
00:39:04.100 --> 00:39:08.600
that I would have never really truly been able to grow

627
00:39:08.600 --> 00:39:11.580
and receive what it is that God wanted to give me.

628
00:39:11.580 --> 00:39:14.100
So I get it's frustrating.

629
00:39:14.100 --> 00:39:18.340
So I, like I said, I put the guardrail up

630
00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:20.160
if they didn't say they were a Christian,

631
00:39:20.160 --> 00:39:22.040
I wasn't going to entertain it.

632
00:39:22.040 --> 00:39:25.080
But then I allowed myself those two or three dates

633
00:39:25.080 --> 00:39:30.080
or some interactions to allow myself to be a fruit inspector.

634
00:39:31.080 --> 00:39:32.120
Were they patient?

635
00:39:32.120 --> 00:39:33.200
Were they kind?

636
00:39:33.200 --> 00:39:34.480
Did they have joy?

637
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:35.580
Were they loving?

638
00:39:35.580 --> 00:39:37.580
Did they have self-control?

639
00:39:37.580 --> 00:39:39.160
Okay.

640
00:39:39.160 --> 00:39:40.200
And then through time,

641
00:39:40.200 --> 00:39:44.160
I kind of could learn what is their walk.

642
00:39:44.160 --> 00:39:45.000
Okay.

643
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:46.560
Cause just because, I mean, here's the thing,

644
00:39:46.580 --> 00:39:48.580
the guy was very honest and was like, look,

645
00:39:48.580 --> 00:39:50.820
this is how I am.

646
00:39:50.820 --> 00:39:52.220
And that was great.

647
00:39:52.220 --> 00:39:53.180
Like you were able to learn,

648
00:39:53.180 --> 00:39:55.620
okay, this guy's probably not for me.

649
00:39:55.620 --> 00:39:56.780
And then that's when you can say,

650
00:39:56.780 --> 00:39:59.540
hey, I really appreciate getting to know you.

651
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.960
I don't see this going somewhere romantically, but I really do wish you the best.

652
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:08.920
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to, you know, get to know you a little bit

653
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:09.920
better.

654
00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:10.920
Best of luck to you.

655
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:14.560
And that's how you can kind of, you know, end it.

656
00:40:14.560 --> 00:40:15.560
Okay.

657
00:40:15.560 --> 00:40:22.800
We don't have to, the blessing block is there for people that are completely rude and just

658
00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:23.800
not okay.

659
00:40:23.800 --> 00:40:24.960
Like, does that make sense?

660
00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:31.640
Like if they are, are just disgusting, sexual, whatever, that's a, you gonna bless them and

661
00:40:31.640 --> 00:40:32.640
you blocking them.

662
00:40:32.640 --> 00:40:37.840
But guys that are nice, that are engaging with you, it doesn't have to be a blessing

663
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:38.840
block.

664
00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:42.760
It could, it could be a bless and it can be a best of luck to you.

665
00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:44.320
That's that's what that looks like.

666
00:40:44.320 --> 00:40:47.680
But I, again, I don't want to, you know, that we got a lot more questions, so I don't want

667
00:40:47.680 --> 00:40:52.960
to take up a whole lot more time, but ladies, I do really want you to press into the being

668
00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:59.640
a fruit inspector and just because someone is not where you are in your walk, doesn't

669
00:40:59.640 --> 00:41:03.600
mean that they not can't get to where you both are going.

670
00:41:03.600 --> 00:41:06.760
So that's, that's one thing that we coach as well.

671
00:41:06.760 --> 00:41:07.760
Okay.

672
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:12.080
So the thing that really, the thing that really like stuck it for me is he said, Oh, but I'll

673
00:41:12.080 --> 00:41:19.400
go to your church if you want me to, I wanted to be more than a, I want you to go that that's

674
00:41:19.400 --> 00:41:20.400
really thoughtful.

675
00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:25.320
I'm, you know, that's, that's kind of, unfortunately, like, I just don't see this going anywhere

676
00:41:25.320 --> 00:41:27.320
romantic, romantically, but I really do.

677
00:41:27.320 --> 00:41:28.320
Okay.

678
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:29.320
Okay.

679
00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:31.240
And you don't need to bring up specifics or anything.

680
00:41:31.240 --> 00:41:32.240
Yeah.

681
00:41:32.240 --> 00:41:33.240
You don't need to leave.

682
00:41:33.240 --> 00:41:34.240
Okay.

683
00:41:34.240 --> 00:41:35.240
Yeah.

684
00:41:35.240 --> 00:41:36.240
Thank you.

685
00:41:36.240 --> 00:41:37.240
You're welcome.

686
00:41:37.240 --> 00:41:38.240
All right.

687
00:41:38.240 --> 00:41:41.320
And I will tell you, Yellowstone, Yellowstone is a hundred percent worth that you should

688
00:41:41.320 --> 00:41:42.320
go someday.

689
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:43.320
Oh yeah.

690
00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:46.880
I was the one that posted the waterfall picture.

691
00:41:46.880 --> 00:41:47.880
Oh my gosh.

692
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:48.880
Yes.

693
00:41:49.360 --> 00:41:52.560
My husband and I just went out to Vegas and we drove.

694
00:41:52.560 --> 00:41:55.920
And so we did grand Canyon and we thought that was amazing.

695
00:41:55.920 --> 00:41:59.560
So it definitely is on our bucket list for sure.

696
00:41:59.560 --> 00:42:04.960
Just to a few, two days later, after we were there, maybe three days later, they had snow,

697
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:05.960
we were hot.

698
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:06.960
And then they had snow.

699
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:10.160
I was like, this isn't, I don't, this Texan cannot compute this.

700
00:42:10.160 --> 00:42:11.160
Yeah.

701
00:42:11.160 --> 00:42:12.160
Right.

702
00:42:12.160 --> 00:42:16.240
Y'all like this week, I was in the middle of nowhere, Texas at rocker B ranch for my

703
00:42:16.240 --> 00:42:17.240
son's baseball.

704
00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:19.200
Y'all is hot.

705
00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:21.200
There was like minimal wifi.

706
00:42:21.200 --> 00:42:29.080
Like, I mean, I don't mind the country, but I'm, you know, there's certain things that

707
00:42:29.080 --> 00:42:30.080
I really love.

708
00:42:30.080 --> 00:42:34.320
I don't mind visiting, but I don't like being super hot either.

709
00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:37.680
I like some cold weather every now and then.

710
00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:39.600
All right, Lori, how are you?

711
00:42:39.600 --> 00:42:40.600
What's your question?

712
00:42:40.600 --> 00:42:45.240
Oh, you're muted.

713
00:42:46.240 --> 00:42:49.760
And ladies just know when y'all are talking, I do take notes.

714
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:51.240
It's not that I'm not paying attention.

715
00:42:51.240 --> 00:42:55.240
I'm typically taking notes on things that you're saying that things that like are coming

716
00:42:55.240 --> 00:42:56.720
up in my spirit.

717
00:42:56.720 --> 00:42:59.320
So I don't want you ladies to think that I'm ignoring you.

718
00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:03.080
I am, you know, I'm listening to what you're saying and I'm usually jotting down a bunch

719
00:43:03.080 --> 00:43:04.080
of notes.

720
00:43:04.080 --> 00:43:15.160
So, um, I actually had my first date, um, only he's not, he's not a Christian, um, but

721
00:43:15.160 --> 00:43:16.880
he seems like a nice guy.

722
00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:23.040
And I straight up told him the first date, I kept it to an hour, followed the rules.

723
00:43:23.040 --> 00:43:29.600
And, um, I asked him, um, cause he didn't say he, he didn't say, it didn't say if he,

724
00:43:29.600 --> 00:43:31.320
what his religion was or anything.

725
00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:34.840
So I was like, well, what do you think about Jesus?

726
00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:40.120
And what'd he say?

727
00:43:40.120 --> 00:43:47.760
He was flustered, um, but he, he's like, well, I'll tell you what I told my son.

728
00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:48.960
My son asked me that.

729
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:56.320
And then he couldn't remember what he told his son, but that was okay.

730
00:43:56.320 --> 00:44:03.680
And, and, um, we had a nice conversation and, um, he seemed like a really nice guy.

731
00:44:03.680 --> 00:44:09.360
And, um, I said, well, you know, this probably isn't going to go anywhere like romantically

732
00:44:09.360 --> 00:44:15.480
or anything, but I'm open to like friends if you want to just be friends, but like just

733
00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:16.480
friends.

734
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:19.160
So hopefully that was okay.

735
00:44:19.160 --> 00:44:26.400
And then he, like, I had some pretty bad things happen, actually that the day of our date,

736
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:33.720
I had brought my friend to an emergency room and, um, she ended up dying the next day.

737
00:44:33.720 --> 00:44:37.360
So it was horrible, horrible, horrible.

738
00:44:37.360 --> 00:44:44.320
So I'm going through this like total emotional stuff and he's texting me like all of his

739
00:44:44.320 --> 00:44:45.320
problems.

740
00:44:45.320 --> 00:44:51.480
Like, and I told him that my friend died and I was like, I just was like, Oh my God.

741
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:56.360
He didn't ever once like even be like, Hey, how are you doing?

742
00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:59.840
And I just, I just kind of, well.

743
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.520
I cheated a little bit. I, I talked to to my AI app Gemini

744
00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:09.760
I'm like, and she like gave me this really nice thing to tell

745
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:13.640
him. I'm like, Hey, you know what, my friend just died. And

746
00:45:13.640 --> 00:45:18.280
I, I don't have the emotional capacity to, like, deal with

747
00:45:18.280 --> 00:45:23.680
your stuff. Yeah, I just I just don't. And he was so respectful.

748
00:45:23.680 --> 00:45:27.680
He was like, it's like, Oh, I'm sorry, I do that sometimes. And

749
00:45:27.680 --> 00:45:31.200
he is totally backed up. He's like, good morning. He sends me

750
00:45:31.200 --> 00:45:34.480
all these cool pictures. He works in irrigation, and he's

751
00:45:34.480 --> 00:45:39.360
local. And, and so he's been really nice and still wanting to

752
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:43.000
like spend time with me and stuff. But I, I don't think

753
00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:45.840
I've ever had that happen before where actually somebody actually

754
00:45:45.840 --> 00:45:49.840
respected a boundary that I was like, Hey, I can't, I can't,

755
00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:53.280
like, that was kind of nice.

756
00:45:53.560 --> 00:45:56.880
That's, that's a win. That's definitely a win for you. I

757
00:45:56.880 --> 00:46:00.320
mean, again, just even, you know, ladies, celebrate the

758
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:04.800
dates that you're getting. And, and again, like, you know, God

759
00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:09.160
is bringing people in your life to show you, there are men out

760
00:46:09.160 --> 00:46:13.400
there that will be respectful of boundaries, and be responsive

761
00:46:13.400 --> 00:46:17.840
and respectful. So I'm thankful that you had that. I'm so sorry

762
00:46:17.840 --> 00:46:25.040
to hear about your friend. For you, for sure. And, and now,

763
00:46:25.040 --> 00:46:29.280
like, even this community, if you find that you're struggling

764
00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:33.840
with that, bring like, let us know. You know, yeah, this is

765
00:46:33.840 --> 00:46:37.040
not just ladies, this, this group, this program isn't just

766
00:46:37.040 --> 00:46:42.480
about dating. We're here to do life with you. You know, I know

767
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:46.840
one of the girls that we was in my community, she found out in

768
00:46:46.840 --> 00:46:49.160
the middle of this, that she had breast cancer and went through

769
00:46:49.200 --> 00:46:53.000
like, chemotherapy. And, you know, she put dating on hold,

770
00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:56.960
because that was important. And we just, we, we lifted her up.

771
00:46:56.960 --> 00:47:00.680
And we, we, you know, she still showed up. She still showed up

772
00:47:00.680 --> 00:47:05.080
in our community. And she was one of our sisters. So, you

773
00:47:05.080 --> 00:47:08.280
know, whatever it is that you're experiencing, whatever

774
00:47:08.280 --> 00:47:11.480
hardships that you're, you're having, or, you know, if there's

775
00:47:11.480 --> 00:47:15.200
losses that you're, you're experiencing, don't hesitate to

776
00:47:15.200 --> 00:47:17.920
come let us know so that we can be lifting you up and checking

777
00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:21.600
in on you. And knowing how you're doing. It's, it's the

778
00:47:21.600 --> 00:47:24.480
best way that we know how to pray for you. And to just to

779
00:47:24.480 --> 00:47:29.600
keep, keep you on our heart. So Lori, I, I think it's, it's

780
00:47:29.600 --> 00:47:34.160
incredible. I'm, I'm so incredibly thankful that you,

781
00:47:34.760 --> 00:47:37.960
you, you utilize that opportunity to say, Hey, this is

782
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:40.960
where I'm at. I can't give something to you right now, sir.

783
00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:46.280
Like, this is I don't have emotional capacity. And you were

784
00:47:46.280 --> 00:47:50.280
able to use your voice and set a boundary. And I'm thankful that

785
00:47:50.280 --> 00:47:51.520
he respected you on that.

786
00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:58.160
And he is really sweet. He gave me this little the first date,

787
00:47:58.160 --> 00:48:03.840
he gave me this little like, dog stuffed dog thing. And I put it

788
00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:06.720
in my eyes. I put it in my car. I'm like, yeah, this is my new

789
00:48:06.720 --> 00:48:09.920
mascot. I'm named in bluey. And I'm just gonna like, I'm gonna

790
00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:13.160
anoint him with oil and pray for him. Like every time I'm like,

791
00:48:13.160 --> 00:48:15.960
okay, Mike, you're marked for the kingdom now. Like,

792
00:48:16.040 --> 00:48:16.800
there you go.

793
00:48:18.440 --> 00:48:21.560
I'm saying like, you and you never, you know, you never know,

794
00:48:21.560 --> 00:48:24.960
like, you know, he might have a friend or something like that.

795
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:28.400
And, you know, he's connected to your spirit mate in some way.

796
00:48:29.560 --> 00:48:33.960
Never know. I haven't. I have another date this afternoon. And

797
00:48:33.960 --> 00:48:37.680
then Mike also with a different guy. And then Mike also was

798
00:48:37.680 --> 00:48:40.680
like, Oh, hey, were we gonna get together this afternoon? Oh, I

799
00:48:40.680 --> 00:48:42.800
was thinking more this evening. So like,

800
00:48:44.680 --> 00:48:48.920
I love this. This is good for you. I'm excited for you. Thank

801
00:48:48.920 --> 00:48:53.200
you so much for coming and sharing. Thank you. Elaine, how

802
00:48:53.200 --> 00:48:54.120
are you?

803
00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:09.840
Can you get can you get me unmuted?

804
00:49:10.680 --> 00:49:18.800
There we go. This is what I'm like with technology. Okay,

805
00:49:18.800 --> 00:49:24.800
that's it there. I'm trying to be optimistic. I love this

806
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:29.040
program. I love the hard work. I hate the online dating, but I'm

807
00:49:29.040 --> 00:49:34.200
trying to, I'm trying to get past that and just, you know, do

808
00:49:34.200 --> 00:49:39.080
it anyway. Um, so I think the last time I was on here, I think

809
00:49:39.080 --> 00:49:43.160
you, um, you're saying that maybe kind of take some time

810
00:49:43.160 --> 00:49:45.680
because I've had some really bad experiences. And I just got

811
00:49:45.680 --> 00:49:50.760
divorced in January. So I mean, I moved and all these different

812
00:49:50.760 --> 00:49:56.560
things. Um, but I, I really have never had any healthy

813
00:49:56.560 --> 00:49:59.840
relationships with men. I've had three real long

814
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.960
term relationships that were not good,

815
00:50:03.960 --> 00:50:05.620
two of which I met online.

816
00:50:05.620 --> 00:50:08.920
So this is kind of why I have an issue with online,

817
00:50:08.920 --> 00:50:12.240
but I didn't want that to kind of write my story.

818
00:50:12.240 --> 00:50:13.080
Yeah.

819
00:50:13.080 --> 00:50:17.640
So I decided to go on to what I thought was the safest app,

820
00:50:17.640 --> 00:50:19.920
which was Arc, which is brand new.

821
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:21.640
And there's like nobody around me.

822
00:50:21.640 --> 00:50:23.440
So I'm like, well, this is perfect.

823
00:50:25.760 --> 00:50:28.440
It's perfect because, oh, I'm sorry, you're too far away,

824
00:50:28.440 --> 00:50:29.880
but let's just be friends.

825
00:50:29.880 --> 00:50:34.640
So, I mean, I'm kind of open to it,

826
00:50:34.640 --> 00:50:38.600
but I met this one guy, we really seemed to connect.

827
00:50:38.600 --> 00:50:41.480
He was very engaging.

828
00:50:41.480 --> 00:50:45.720
And he's like, I'm looking for my Rachel at the well.

829
00:50:45.720 --> 00:50:48.920
And I was like, all right, well, I'm not Rachel,

830
00:50:48.920 --> 00:50:53.920
but I'm just, I feel like he has been very idealistic.

831
00:50:55.480 --> 00:50:58.000
Like this is what I want.

832
00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:00.520
And this is what I, you know,

833
00:51:00.520 --> 00:51:02.040
he kind of like laid it right out there,

834
00:51:02.040 --> 00:51:04.840
which I thought was kind of unusual for,

835
00:51:04.840 --> 00:51:07.920
I don't know, I don't want to say a guy, but.

836
00:51:07.920 --> 00:51:10.280
And then the next thing he's kind of just really,

837
00:51:10.280 --> 00:51:13.600
he's wanting to talk again, like the same day.

838
00:51:13.600 --> 00:51:17.200
And immediately I'm like, this is too much.

839
00:51:17.200 --> 00:51:20.860
Like one good half hour conversation was enough,

840
00:51:20.860 --> 00:51:23.680
but I had another conversation.

841
00:51:23.680 --> 00:51:28.240
And I think I tend to be a good listener almost to a fault.

842
00:51:28.240 --> 00:51:31.520
I think, you know, I'll listen.

843
00:51:31.520 --> 00:51:33.880
It's easy for people to talk to me.

844
00:51:33.880 --> 00:51:36.520
They kind of, you know, they pick up on,

845
00:51:36.520 --> 00:51:37.640
I don't know what it is,

846
00:51:37.640 --> 00:51:40.640
but it's not always been a good thing, you know,

847
00:51:40.640 --> 00:51:44.080
because I can tend to be, I come off as empathetic.

848
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:49.080
And then, so I was trying to let him talk,

849
00:51:50.160 --> 00:51:53.560
but set boundaries as far as kind of almost jokingly

850
00:51:54.440 --> 00:51:56.720
saying, I'm glad you're sharing so much,

851
00:51:56.720 --> 00:51:58.360
because that means I don't have to,

852
00:51:58.360 --> 00:52:00.400
I don't have to talk as much.

853
00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:01.840
I don't have to say as much.

854
00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:03.880
And he kind of like got the hint.

855
00:52:03.880 --> 00:52:05.440
I mean, it was a little bit of a dig,

856
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:08.840
but I mean, after 20 minutes of just listening

857
00:52:08.840 --> 00:52:13.840
and I'm like, yeah, so we had some,

858
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:15.480
like three good conversations.

859
00:52:15.480 --> 00:52:18.880
I was starting to feel like actually good about it.

860
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:22.840
And then he starts, he's very athletic.

861
00:52:23.160 --> 00:52:25.480
He's asking me, you know, what I'm interested in.

862
00:52:25.480 --> 00:52:28.440
I love, I'm athletic too.

863
00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:31.440
And then he goes, so how much do you weigh?

864
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:35.520
I'm like, I don't even know how to answer that.

865
00:52:35.520 --> 00:52:36.360
I said, what?

866
00:52:36.360 --> 00:52:37.200
What?

867
00:52:37.200 --> 00:52:39.080
You're not supposed to ask a woman that, I said.

868
00:52:39.080 --> 00:52:40.280
Exactly.

869
00:52:40.280 --> 00:52:42.600
And I'm like, and see, that's how I am.

870
00:52:42.600 --> 00:52:45.680
I'd be like, has no one ever taught you,

871
00:52:45.680 --> 00:52:46.880
you don't ask those,

872
00:52:46.880 --> 00:52:48.680
those are things that you don't ask a woman.

873
00:52:48.680 --> 00:52:50.680
You don't ask her her age, you don't ask her her weight,

874
00:52:50.680 --> 00:52:52.360
and you don't ask her if she's pregnant.

875
00:52:52.360 --> 00:52:53.640
Yeah.

876
00:52:53.640 --> 00:52:55.160
And I would have laughed it off.

877
00:52:55.160 --> 00:52:56.000
Like.

878
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:56.840
I kind of did.

879
00:52:56.840 --> 00:52:58.840
I'm like, you're kidding me right now.

880
00:52:58.840 --> 00:52:59.680
Right?

881
00:52:59.680 --> 00:53:02.040
And I'm like, you gotta be joking, right?

882
00:53:03.200 --> 00:53:06.200
And so I think he kind of got that, you know, that.

883
00:53:06.200 --> 00:53:08.080
And then we, you know, the conversation was good.

884
00:53:08.080 --> 00:53:09.520
We talked a lot about God.

885
00:53:09.520 --> 00:53:10.960
I mean, that's important to me.

886
00:53:10.960 --> 00:53:12.880
I won't even look at someone's profile

887
00:53:12.880 --> 00:53:16.320
if they don't at least mention something about God

888
00:53:16.320 --> 00:53:20.160
as instead of just being like, oh yeah, I go to church.

889
00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:24.960
So I was, I actually was kind of excited about talking to him

890
00:53:24.960 --> 00:53:29.760
and then he completely ghosted me, 100%, just ghost.

891
00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:33.080
So at first I'm like, what did I do wrong?

892
00:53:33.080 --> 00:53:35.320
Then I went into, wait, wait a minute,

893
00:53:35.320 --> 00:53:36.920
let's just check in.

894
00:53:36.920 --> 00:53:39.760
What can I learn from this situation?

895
00:53:40.760 --> 00:53:43.160
You know, I kind of had a little,

896
00:53:43.160 --> 00:53:46.160
I had some little red, well, let's call them yellow flags,

897
00:53:46.160 --> 00:53:48.160
but that one was kind of red.

898
00:53:48.200 --> 00:53:52.360
You know, my gut sort of was telling me a little things

899
00:53:52.360 --> 00:53:55.880
and I also pray God, anybody that you don't want in my life,

900
00:53:55.880 --> 00:53:58.680
you know, have them go away.

901
00:53:58.680 --> 00:54:01.280
So I got over it pretty quick.

902
00:54:01.280 --> 00:54:06.040
And, you know, I wasn't like trying to create situations

903
00:54:06.040 --> 00:54:08.440
in my head, like, oh, maybe I did this wrong.

904
00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:10.760
Maybe I said, you know, I was just like,

905
00:54:10.760 --> 00:54:14.600
but it was like only a few days after that

906
00:54:14.600 --> 00:54:16.040
with a couple other conversations,

907
00:54:16.080 --> 00:54:16.920
I just said, you know,

908
00:54:16.920 --> 00:54:18.880
I just don't feel like I'm ready to,

909
00:54:18.880 --> 00:54:22.440
I don't feel I'm ready to do the dating thing yet.

910
00:54:22.440 --> 00:54:24.160
I'm enjoying my time alone.

911
00:54:24.160 --> 00:54:27.440
I've never really been on my own ever.

912
00:54:27.440 --> 00:54:31.520
And so I'm loving that I'm getting involved in my church,

913
00:54:31.520 --> 00:54:35.440
meeting new friends, really getting in with God.

914
00:54:35.440 --> 00:54:39.200
And I definitely want that spirit mate.

915
00:54:39.200 --> 00:54:43.040
I just think, I just really don't think right now

916
00:54:43.040 --> 00:54:43.880
is the time.

917
00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:46.360
And it's not that I won't dabble a little bit again,

918
00:54:46.360 --> 00:54:49.640
but yeah, I just wanted to.

919
00:54:49.640 --> 00:54:52.480
At least I think this is a good lesson

920
00:54:52.480 --> 00:54:54.000
on being God defended.

921
00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:54.840
Okay.

922
00:54:56.120 --> 00:55:00.120
Again, just knowing like, you know, you went out there.

923
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.560
you put yourself out there. You had some conversation. You weren't sure how you felt

924
00:55:04.560 --> 00:55:09.200
about it. You still kept pressing forward. You know, yes, there were some yellow flags

925
00:55:09.200 --> 00:55:18.000
and then he removed himself. Fantastic. Um, and I get it ladies, the not liking the online dating.

926
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:24.080
Okay. One thing that we coach you ladies here. And in the online video that we have you ladies

927
00:55:24.080 --> 00:55:31.040
watch, we emphasize, do not go online dating if you are not in the mindset to be ready for it.

928
00:55:31.600 --> 00:55:38.000
Okay. So we don't want you jumping into online dating out of like this. I have to do this. I

929
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:43.200
mean, yes, we're going to have you, you want, we want to stretch you. Okay. There's going to be

930
00:55:43.200 --> 00:55:50.560
some stretching there, but we don't want you staying in it. If your heart is not fully in it,

931
00:55:51.280 --> 00:55:56.720
but we don't want you stuck in the waiting room either. And so that doesn't just because you

932
00:55:56.720 --> 00:56:04.560
decide not to online date doesn't mean you don't go other, find other ways to get yourself out

933
00:56:04.560 --> 00:56:10.160
there. So Elaine, like I hear you saying you're volunteering at your church more, you're getting

934
00:56:10.160 --> 00:56:17.040
out in community is putting yourself out there. Yeah. And I'm enjoying that. I'm a, I'm a face

935
00:56:17.120 --> 00:56:24.320
to face person. And in fact, I'm joining like three, three small groups. I'm like,

936
00:56:24.320 --> 00:56:30.640
not just one, let's, let's just cause I have those friendships and building those relationships with

937
00:56:30.640 --> 00:56:36.080
people. Because again, you don't know who's connected to your spirit, me, right? I mean,

938
00:56:36.080 --> 00:56:42.480
ladies, I even encourage I do this often with you, with ladies in our program, you know, we,

939
00:56:43.040 --> 00:56:46.160
there's times that we give activations, like go out there and smile at men.

940
00:56:47.360 --> 00:56:50.800
All right. Like go make eye contact, smile with men, ask a man for help.

941
00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:58.480
I even tell you ladies to take it a step further, just go engage with people go, you know, if,

942
00:56:58.480 --> 00:57:05.760
whether it's a man or a woman, whether it's a man that's, you know, 85 years old or a younger man,

943
00:57:05.760 --> 00:57:14.400
who's 23 years old, you know, build relationship with people, step out of your comfort zone,

944
00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:19.520
have conversations with people. You never know what you're going to learn, who you're going to

945
00:57:19.520 --> 00:57:26.240
meet, who they're connected to, what similarities you have, what, you know, crazy, you know,

946
00:57:27.200 --> 00:57:33.760
circumstances are put yourself out there. So you don't have to be online dating to be in our

947
00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:40.880
program. Can I just add one more thing that from something you just said, I have this little bit

948
00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:52.320
of a reluctancy with people to not want to attract, like, attract something that I can't

949
00:57:53.280 --> 00:57:59.440
get rid of. This sounds awful. But I've had some situations where it's, you know, somebody's like,

950
00:58:00.080 --> 00:58:06.880
and then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I just don't. I don't. I don't want. I don't want this person

951
00:58:06.880 --> 00:58:10.240
around. I want to be nice about it, but they tend to get clingy.

952
00:58:10.960 --> 00:58:15.200
That's where I mean, and again, this, this, have you gotten to the boundaries video yet?

953
00:58:16.080 --> 00:58:19.440
I have, I need to watch it again, because that's a big thing for me.

954
00:58:19.440 --> 00:58:23.280
It sounds like, you know, boundaries might be really important in this season for you to learn

955
00:58:23.280 --> 00:58:28.880
right now. Like you're having to learn how again, ladies, we're all on our own different journeys.

956
00:58:29.440 --> 00:58:40.720
So you may have to work through some things that have created this anxious, like tendency in you

957
00:58:40.720 --> 00:58:45.600
to be like, I have to be on guard or I'm not sure how to act. I want to be nice, but I want to put

958
00:58:45.600 --> 00:58:52.240
my boundaries in place. So, you know, this program can work for that as you're getting out and

959
00:58:52.240 --> 00:58:56.560
meeting people. And again, it doesn't have to be online. It doesn't even have to be you out dating.

960
00:58:57.280 --> 00:59:03.360
God can start putting situations and circumstances and people in place that he's going to start

961
00:59:03.360 --> 00:59:10.880
stretching you to practice these sorts of things. So it's going, and you can utilize this group

962
00:59:11.680 --> 00:59:18.720
and our coaching to help you navigate the best way to hold good boundaries.

963
00:59:18.720 --> 00:59:24.560
We can give you all sorts of words and, you know, how to communicate with people.

964
00:59:25.120 --> 00:59:29.120
We can, we can do all that kind of stuff. Does that make sense? Does that

965
00:59:29.760 --> 00:59:32.880
give you some reassurance that you are in the right place?

966
00:59:33.440 --> 00:59:39.360
I mean, even like on the script, this is new to me. I don't tend to like reach out to people.

967
00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:45.200
I'll just like watch and then just, you know, so it's just, it's all new to me.

968
00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:49.520
And this is what this, that's what I'm saying. Like you might not even be, you know, if you're

969
00:59:49.520 --> 00:59:54.000
like, I'm not sure I'm ready to date yet. Well, maybe this is the muscle that you have to work.

970
00:59:54.560 --> 00:59:59.760
Yeah. Okay. I'm going to get comfortable sharing with, you know, community what's going on.

971
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.920
things, some, some work on myself, some areas of boundaries, how to not, I mean,

972
01:00:04.920 --> 01:00:07.120
it sounds like, do you have things with a people-pleasing?

973
01:00:09.120 --> 01:00:15.160
It's either people-pleased or people-pleased.

974
01:00:15.160 --> 01:00:18.880
And then when I feel backed into a corner, I, um, I can tend

975
01:00:18.880 --> 01:00:21.880
to maybe get a little mouthy.

976
01:00:22.440 --> 01:00:24.640
Yeah, that's fine.

977
01:00:26.640 --> 01:00:27.440
Absolutely.

978
01:00:27.640 --> 01:00:31.320
How dare you step over my boundary that I didn't set.

979
01:00:32.080 --> 01:00:32.600
Yeah.

980
01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:35.280
And that's what I'm saying then that, and that's what God could be

981
01:00:35.280 --> 01:00:38.360
using this season right now for you.

982
01:00:38.600 --> 01:00:38.920
Yeah.

983
01:00:39.200 --> 01:00:39.680
Okay.

984
01:00:40.080 --> 01:00:40.400
Thank you.

985
01:00:40.400 --> 01:00:41.640
You're in the right place, Elaine.

986
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:43.800
I appreciate you letting us know.

987
01:00:44.240 --> 01:00:49.800
And, um, like I said, I'm glad you were able to kind of, you know, you're not,

988
01:00:50.920 --> 01:00:53.360
you're seeing that guy as it's okay.

989
01:00:53.400 --> 01:00:55.200
Like you're not holding onto that.

990
01:00:55.200 --> 01:00:58.320
And it's like, no, look, what can I learn from this?

991
01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:00.040
You know, and I wanted to just add one thing.

992
01:01:00.200 --> 01:01:01.520
He was super sweet.

993
01:01:01.520 --> 01:01:06.520
He literally said before, um, one of our, our first conversation ended, he said,

994
01:01:07.320 --> 01:01:09.720
have, you know, have a nice evening.

995
01:01:09.720 --> 01:01:12.320
I hope you have Holy spirit dreams.

996
01:01:12.360 --> 01:01:18.520
And he either leads you closer to me if we're meant to be or far further away.

997
01:01:18.960 --> 01:01:21.240
I mean, that was, that's huge.

998
01:01:21.240 --> 01:01:25.000
Cause that's, you know, and maybe God just said to him even, Hey, this is it.

999
01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:28.400
And I had to respect that cause he, he came right out and said that I

1000
01:01:28.400 --> 01:01:29.920
thought that was really awesome.

1001
01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:31.680
Okay, good, good.

1002
01:01:32.760 --> 01:01:33.360
Awesome.

1003
01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:35.040
Well, thank you for sharing.

1004
01:01:35.600 --> 01:01:36.080
Thanks.

1005
01:01:36.400 --> 01:01:37.000
All right.

1006
01:01:37.040 --> 01:01:40.520
I've got Christine, um, Marley, Karen and Kalen ladies.

1007
01:01:40.520 --> 01:01:42.000
We have got about 15 minutes.

1008
01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:45.640
So if we can try to keep things short, brief and powerful, and then I think

1009
01:01:45.640 --> 01:01:49.240
I've got another question in the app or in the chat as well.

1010
01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:50.960
So Christine, if you can unmute.

1011
01:01:55.640 --> 01:01:58.720
Oh, am I unmuted now?

1012
01:01:58.720 --> 01:01:59.440
Yes, that's it.

1013
01:01:59.560 --> 01:01:59.920
Here we go.

1014
01:01:59.920 --> 01:02:00.680
And I can hear you now.

1015
01:02:00.720 --> 01:02:01.240
Okay, good.

1016
01:02:01.360 --> 01:02:01.880
Great.

1017
01:02:02.320 --> 01:02:08.040
Um, well, I actually posted, um, I don't post very often, but I did.

1018
01:02:08.080 --> 01:02:12.080
And I just wanted to mention two things this evening that I had on my heart.

1019
01:02:12.600 --> 01:02:19.920
The first one was, um, following, um, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

1020
01:02:20.920 --> 01:02:26.680
two things, of course, this evening that I had on my heart, the first one was,

1021
01:02:26.920 --> 01:02:34.200
um, following the Supernatural Saturday, uh, theme on friendship.

1022
01:02:34.240 --> 01:02:37.200
For me, it just, it was just, wow.

1023
01:02:37.240 --> 01:02:43.000
For me, because even though it, um, the theme wasn't directly

1024
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:46.080
linked with, um, dating.

1025
01:02:47.080 --> 01:02:55.000
That during that time, we solidified, um, this friendship zone, if I can put it

1026
01:02:55.000 --> 01:03:01.800
this way, um, rather than the mom, daughter relationship, um, we really

1027
01:03:01.800 --> 01:03:06.000
discovered each other in a new way, in a new enlightened way.

1028
01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:11.040
And as I listened to Jackie's Supernatural Saturday, I just thought, wow, this is so

1029
01:03:11.040 --> 01:03:13.920
apt, this is just such perfect timing.

1030
01:03:13.920 --> 01:03:17.680
This is what I've just lived through this past week with my daughter,

1031
01:03:17.840 --> 01:03:20.320
this new discovery of friendship.

1032
01:03:20.680 --> 01:03:22.480
And it was necessary.

1033
01:03:22.480 --> 01:03:28.400
I didn't realize just how necessary it was, because in fact, I've actually

1034
01:03:28.400 --> 01:03:36.880
been keeping this L Y S pretty secret, pretty secretive from my children

1035
01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:43.120
who are 20, 21, and my boys are older than that, but, um, I didn't quite

1036
01:03:43.320 --> 01:03:47.680
I didn't quite know how to, I was embarrassed.

1037
01:03:47.680 --> 01:03:51.400
I was, I just thought, what are they going to think about their mom?

1038
01:03:51.760 --> 01:03:54.000
Am I too old, et cetera.

1039
01:03:54.640 --> 01:04:00.920
And then I went, I went to sunny Spain with my daughter and we just had a fabulous

1040
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:06.320
time together, you know, the friendship, joy, laughter, and it was like woman to

1041
01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:08.480
woman, it wasn't just mom, daughter.

1042
01:04:08.800 --> 01:04:11.440
It was just doing things that we didn't normally do.

1043
01:04:11.520 --> 01:04:19.200
And it was invaluable because in fact, it was that open door that I needed to be

1044
01:04:19.200 --> 01:04:20.920
able to say, well, you know what?

1045
01:04:21.360 --> 01:04:23.360
It's time for mom to move on.

1046
01:04:23.680 --> 01:04:27.680
It's time for, I would really, I am ready now to meet somebody.

1047
01:04:27.920 --> 01:04:29.560
I would really like to do that.

1048
01:04:29.560 --> 01:04:34.560
And I'm, I'm working on it to do it, you know, doing it the right way, God's way.

1049
01:04:34.960 --> 01:04:40.240
Um, and I'm so thankful for this, for this super natural Saturday that I

1050
01:04:40.240 --> 01:04:44.480
listened to when I got back, we got back from holiday last night or

1051
01:04:44.480 --> 01:04:46.520
vacation, as you say in the States.

1052
01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:50.040
I love it when you, when y'all call it holiday.

1053
01:04:50.040 --> 01:04:50.560
I love it.

1054
01:04:51.440 --> 01:04:53.040
It's holiday time.

1055
01:04:55.480 --> 01:04:56.400
So I love it.

1056
01:04:56.400 --> 01:05:00.000
And I, I read your, your post and that it was.

1057
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.880
Yeah. And that's the cool thing. Like, yeah, I can't tell you how many times those supernatural

1058
01:05:04.880 --> 01:05:09.120
Saturdays will be so timely. Like I hadn't, I didn't even realize what supernatural Saturday

1059
01:05:09.120 --> 01:05:16.000
was about. And I was even starting to kind of go back down, like this reminisce, like old

1060
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:21.680
friendships and starting to feel really sad and upset that I kind of lost contact with some of my

1061
01:05:22.240 --> 01:05:29.200
old college friends and felt left out. And then I learned that, you know, supernatural Saturday was

1062
01:05:29.200 --> 01:05:34.480
about learning friendships are sometimes for certain seasons and certain things like that.

1063
01:05:34.480 --> 01:05:40.560
And I remember being like, wow, how timely, like I was just sitting here about to sulk in the fact

1064
01:05:40.560 --> 01:05:44.960
that, you know, some of those relationships are no longer. And I'm like, but that's not,

1065
01:05:45.680 --> 01:05:51.840
it's okay. It's okay. Like those friends, ladies and friendships don't have to even be like these

1066
01:05:51.840 --> 01:05:57.920
ending, like bad endings, great beginnings. Or like you said, like, you know, now you get to

1067
01:05:57.920 --> 01:06:03.760
morph into this friendship with your daughter in a whole new, different way. Yeah. Especially when,

1068
01:06:03.760 --> 01:06:08.080
when we have children and they're young and we care for them. We, I mean, I have to do that with

1069
01:06:08.080 --> 01:06:12.080
my kids. Like I'm not here to be your best friend. I'm here to be your mom. I'm here to be tough on

1070
01:06:12.080 --> 01:06:16.880
you. You know, I'm here to discipline you. I'm here to, you know, do a lot of things for you.

1071
01:06:17.520 --> 01:06:21.920
We can have the best friend relationship when you're an adult and you're grown and you're

1072
01:06:21.920 --> 01:06:27.040
responsible for yourself. Like I'll still be mother, but I can be more of your best friend.

1073
01:06:27.040 --> 01:06:31.360
And so that transition from, you know, when your kids become adults.

1074
01:06:33.600 --> 01:06:39.120
I didn't expect, you know, the best friend, you know, situation, but just the fact that we went

1075
01:06:39.120 --> 01:06:47.760
into that friend zone and I treated her as the adult that she is. And she saw me as a much younger

1076
01:06:47.760 --> 01:06:53.920
mom than I think she thought maybe because she knows I'm very active, but I did all the things

1077
01:06:54.000 --> 01:07:00.400
with her. I even went to a nightclub. It was like, I'm doing this for my daughter.

1078
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:08.320
And ladies, it's just what it's all about. It's about enjoying life.

1079
01:07:08.320 --> 01:07:12.320
Yeah. But it, what it, what it showed me and what it taught me was that

1080
01:07:12.320 --> 01:07:16.880
what I went through with my daughter, I've also got to be prepared and willing to go through

1081
01:07:16.880 --> 01:07:22.960
in my dating, in the dating scene, however challenging it is because I really feel for

1082
01:07:22.960 --> 01:07:27.840
these other lovely ladies who have shared, who, who are saying how difficult it is for them.

1083
01:07:27.840 --> 01:07:32.800
I don't like this online dating business. I don't like it. One iota really. I don't,

1084
01:07:33.600 --> 01:07:38.080
I'm doing it because I feel forced to, but then you've just said, don't do it. If your heart's

1085
01:07:38.080 --> 01:07:44.960
not in it. There's other ways to meet people, especially when, you know, you know, when you

1086
01:07:44.960 --> 01:07:50.240
do different things in life that you enjoy and you have the opportunity to meet different people.

1087
01:07:50.240 --> 01:07:55.520
But going back to the core of what I was saying, that what I learned with my daughter is that I

1088
01:07:55.520 --> 01:08:03.840
can now take it into the dating scene. I can actually learn to let go and have fun doing

1089
01:08:03.840 --> 01:08:09.840
things that I don't normally do that I wouldn't normally do as long as they're good and wholesome.

1090
01:08:09.840 --> 01:08:15.360
And, you know, obviously, but just, it just widened my horizon just a little bit more.

1091
01:08:16.319 --> 01:08:21.359
And it was, I just found it so therapeutic and so helpful. And it was just so timely,

1092
01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:25.600
you know, the holiday, then I come home, then I listened to Supernatural Saturday.

1093
01:08:26.399 --> 01:08:31.680
Then just a little while ago, before going on here, I was listening to the Sunday Night Prophetic

1094
01:08:31.680 --> 01:08:37.279
and it was like, wow, it was just one thing after another. And I'm so, so, so thankful to God. And

1095
01:08:37.840 --> 01:08:42.240
you know, I just, and I'm thankful for the community because we've all got different

1096
01:08:42.240 --> 01:08:48.080
stories to share. We've all got different lives, but, you know, we've all got a heart that God

1097
01:08:48.080 --> 01:08:55.279
wants to heal, wants to, God wants to make whole and that God wants to make, see joyful. So I'm

1098
01:08:55.279 --> 01:09:01.359
thankful because I just, I don't feel alone. I'm not alone. I felt alone and isolated before,

1099
01:09:01.359 --> 01:09:06.880
but I'm not. And I'm thankful for the people that I have met on here, in particular,

1100
01:09:07.680 --> 01:09:15.279
Mary Scott, who lives in Scotland. She's not here tonight. She's having a hard time. So

1101
01:09:15.279 --> 01:09:20.640
please let's just lift her up in prayer. She's, you know, really having a difficult time. And

1102
01:09:20.640 --> 01:09:25.120
I think she's a wonderful, wonderful woman. And I'm so blessed, so blessed to be in Clinton.

1103
01:09:25.120 --> 01:09:30.160
I'm so blessed that you two have found each other too. Like that is really encouraging.

1104
01:09:31.040 --> 01:09:37.040
Ladies, let this be such a testimony of just all the fruit that can come from this community. I

1105
01:09:37.040 --> 01:09:42.319
know a lot of times we come in here because we're wanting the husband. You're going to get so much

1106
01:09:42.319 --> 01:09:48.560
more. And ladies, if you really allow yourself to just allow the Lord to come and work in your heart,

1107
01:09:49.680 --> 01:09:54.560
he's going to bless you abundantly with this community. Okay. And it's why we always like,

1108
01:09:54.560 --> 01:09:59.040
we encourage you ladies, like don't rush through the process. Don't rush through to get to the

1109
01:09:59.040 --> 01:09:59.840
all community where

1110
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.200
You know, you think the men are like, I know we do have women that do that.

1111
01:10:03.200 --> 01:10:04.560
Okay. And we, and we're aware of it.

1112
01:10:05.080 --> 01:10:08.640
We're aware of the women that are only here because they want,

1113
01:10:09.080 --> 01:10:10.720
they want access to the men.

1114
01:10:11.200 --> 01:10:16.200
But I will tell you the fruit that can come from this community when you really

1115
01:10:16.740 --> 01:10:21.740
allow Holy Spirit to come in and really like the fruit is here.

1116
01:10:22.400 --> 01:10:26.560
I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be coaching if it wasn't. Yeah. I,

1117
01:10:26.600 --> 01:10:29.520
I have the husband now I was in this community very beginning.

1118
01:10:29.520 --> 01:10:33.080
I was been in here for five years and I'm telling you,

1119
01:10:33.160 --> 01:10:37.800
I believe in what we do here, not just for the husbands,

1120
01:10:37.800 --> 01:10:39.040
but for so much more.

1121
01:10:39.680 --> 01:10:44.200
Like it's humbling to me to be able to still be part of this community.

1122
01:10:44.560 --> 01:10:49.560
I am so blessed to be able to speak wisdom over you and help you ladies,

1123
01:10:50.360 --> 01:10:50.720
you know,

1124
01:10:50.720 --> 01:10:53.960
with your heart work and help you ladies with your dating situations.

1125
01:10:54.960 --> 01:10:58.480
Um, because there is so much goodness here. There really, really is.

1126
01:10:58.480 --> 01:11:01.680
So Christine, thank you so much for sharing that testimony with us.

1127
01:11:01.840 --> 01:11:04.960
I'm so blessed by you. Thank you. All right.

1128
01:11:04.960 --> 01:11:09.280
I got Marley and then Karen. How are you Marley? Things are going good for you.

1129
01:11:09.280 --> 01:11:13.080
I see. I'm sorry. Things are going well for you. I keep,

1130
01:11:13.120 --> 01:11:17.880
I see you posting and yes, yes. I, I, uh,

1131
01:11:18.160 --> 01:11:21.880
I'm out there. Let's say, yeah. Um, so I,

1132
01:11:21.880 --> 01:11:26.480
I just wanted to say after the last, um, post that I made,

1133
01:11:26.520 --> 01:11:29.560
I adjusted my, my, uh,

1134
01:11:29.600 --> 01:11:34.600
settings on the app so that I would not see as many, uh, um,

1135
01:11:34.720 --> 01:11:39.360
agnostics and, and at the, yes, um, men,

1136
01:11:40.720 --> 01:11:44.000
um, the, um,

1137
01:11:45.960 --> 01:11:49.760
I think the fact that I've gone on a few dates have,

1138
01:11:49.800 --> 01:11:53.600
has also helped me interact with men,

1139
01:11:54.480 --> 01:11:59.360
um, in my daily life. I don't have problems approaching people,

1140
01:11:59.760 --> 01:12:02.520
uh, men or women and engaging in conversation.

1141
01:12:02.760 --> 01:12:07.760
But when I had an inkling that a

1142
01:12:07.760 --> 01:12:09.200
man may be interested,

1143
01:12:09.200 --> 01:12:13.520
then I would be all tied in knots and now I would avoid them or I would make

1144
01:12:13.520 --> 01:12:16.320
sure. I, I, I, but I,

1145
01:12:16.320 --> 01:12:20.920
I find that this is going away a little. Um,

1146
01:12:21.920 --> 01:12:26.400
and my question is, um, I've,

1147
01:12:26.480 --> 01:12:28.680
I've told a few friends about, uh,

1148
01:12:28.720 --> 01:12:33.080
LYS and I've told them about the apps that I have been using.

1149
01:12:33.240 --> 01:12:36.400
So I've started with, uh, Hinge and, and Salt.

1150
01:12:36.400 --> 01:12:41.400
Salt is not too popular in Canada yet. So there's not many, uh,

1151
01:12:41.920 --> 01:12:46.520
um, profiles on, on the site. Uh, but Hinge has been,

1152
01:12:46.920 --> 01:12:48.120
has been more active.

1153
01:12:48.400 --> 01:12:53.080
And so one of the friends that I had shared with, um,

1154
01:12:53.480 --> 01:12:57.760
also lives in my surroundings, um, matched with a guy.

1155
01:12:58.840 --> 01:12:59.600
And, uh,

1156
01:12:59.600 --> 01:13:04.600
and they were supposed to go on a first date and

1157
01:13:04.600 --> 01:13:09.120
he just ghosted her and matched her.

1158
01:13:09.680 --> 01:13:12.800
And so she was a little upset about that,

1159
01:13:13.040 --> 01:13:15.200
but he just sent me a like.

1160
01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:23.520
So obviously he knows nothing about all this and that she

1161
01:13:23.520 --> 01:13:27.720
showed me and that she told me the story and I'm not interested in him, um,

1162
01:13:27.760 --> 01:13:32.720
or even in responding to the like, probably because of the way he behaved.

1163
01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:37.640
Um, but my question is if I were interested,

1164
01:13:38.200 --> 01:13:41.720
um, what, what do we do in cases like that? When,

1165
01:13:43.720 --> 01:13:44.560
and I'm,

1166
01:13:45.080 --> 01:13:48.160
obviously this guy you're, you're not interested in, but you're saying like,

1167
01:13:48.200 --> 01:13:52.560
if, how, how do we navigate when we're in community,

1168
01:13:52.600 --> 01:13:54.000
even in here, okay.

1169
01:13:54.400 --> 01:13:59.040
In here or even our friends that are single and may happen to be

1170
01:13:59.040 --> 01:14:02.240
interacting with someone that maybe we have once gone on a date with or

1171
01:14:02.240 --> 01:14:06.800
something, or this is a good question. Um, and,

1172
01:14:07.000 --> 01:14:10.840
and what I can basically coach on and,

1173
01:14:10.960 --> 01:14:15.440
and encourage you ladies to practice

1174
01:14:16.080 --> 01:14:20.760
pressing in with the, the mindset that

1175
01:14:24.240 --> 01:14:28.400
if you are on a date with somebody or you're interacting with somebody and you

1176
01:14:28.400 --> 01:14:29.840
know that they're not their spirit mate,

1177
01:14:29.880 --> 01:14:33.560
do you want them to be connected with their spirit mate? I'm sorry.

1178
01:14:34.840 --> 01:14:37.880
You're on a date with somebody and they're not your person. Okay.

1179
01:14:37.880 --> 01:14:39.480
Let's just say they're not your spirit mate.

1180
01:14:39.920 --> 01:14:42.720
Do you want to bless them so that they can go find their spirit mate?

1181
01:14:42.920 --> 01:14:43.760
Yeah, of course.

1182
01:14:44.320 --> 01:14:48.840
So would it be awesome if it was a friend that you knew

1183
01:14:49.560 --> 01:14:52.600
that you love and be like, wow, that's,

1184
01:14:53.120 --> 01:14:54.680
that's awesome that they found each other.

1185
01:14:56.480 --> 01:14:59.920
And it's, it's having the perspective as if they're not for me, it's.

1186
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.200
Okay, doesn't mean that it's not for somebody else.

1187
01:15:04.200 --> 01:15:08.160
So ladies, when we have this thought process

1188
01:15:08.160 --> 01:15:10.280
where there's maybe jealousy, okay,

1189
01:15:10.280 --> 01:15:11.560
I think that's kind of what you're getting to,

1190
01:15:11.560 --> 01:15:12.560
not saying that you're jealous,

1191
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:14.600
but what happens if you have a friend that's jealous

1192
01:15:14.600 --> 01:15:17.560
and you're not sure, like you're interested in somebody

1193
01:15:17.560 --> 01:15:19.680
and that didn't work out for them.

1194
01:15:19.680 --> 01:15:22.840
Well, I would hope that your friend loves and cares

1195
01:15:22.840 --> 01:15:26.520
about you enough that wants you to find your spirit mate.

1196
01:15:26.520 --> 01:15:29.760
And if it's not their person and it's yours,

1197
01:15:29.760 --> 01:15:33.360
they would wanna bless that, does that make sense?

1198
01:15:33.360 --> 01:15:35.320
And where that can come from, ladies,

1199
01:15:35.320 --> 01:15:40.320
is that scarcity mindset, is that there's not enough

1200
01:15:40.920 --> 01:15:45.320
out there and that's simply a lie from the enemy.

1201
01:15:45.320 --> 01:15:48.040
So in this case, who do you even tell?

1202
01:15:48.040 --> 01:15:49.840
Like, I didn't tell my friend.

1203
01:15:51.360 --> 01:15:53.440
I mean, you could, I mean.

1204
01:15:54.880 --> 01:15:56.760
I wouldn't, if you hadn't gotten to know the person,

1205
01:15:56.760 --> 01:15:58.800
like if you were interested in getting to know him

1206
01:15:58.840 --> 01:16:00.560
and you thought he was an interesting person,

1207
01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:01.400
can you hear me?

1208
01:16:01.400 --> 01:16:03.120
Yes, now, yes.

1209
01:16:03.120 --> 01:16:04.560
If you were getting to know him

1210
01:16:04.560 --> 01:16:06.080
and you thought he was an interesting person,

1211
01:16:06.080 --> 01:16:07.080
you could just get to know him.

1212
01:16:07.080 --> 01:16:08.440
I don't think you would need to tell him like,

1213
01:16:08.440 --> 01:16:11.720
hey, I think you had reached out to one of my friends.

1214
01:16:11.720 --> 01:16:13.600
Oh no, I meant to her, to my friend.

1215
01:16:13.600 --> 01:16:14.440
Would you?

1216
01:16:14.440 --> 01:16:15.720
I mean, you could, and you could just say,

1217
01:16:15.720 --> 01:16:17.880
hey, I think this guy also liked me.

1218
01:16:17.880 --> 01:16:20.600
Do you have any pointers?

1219
01:16:20.600 --> 01:16:24.760
You know, as long as you're not, I mean, if she's got a,

1220
01:16:24.760 --> 01:16:27.000
if she's bitter about it,

1221
01:16:27.000 --> 01:16:31.400
then you're not gonna get a very good understanding

1222
01:16:31.400 --> 01:16:33.360
of whether or not he's a good guy or not

1223
01:16:33.360 --> 01:16:36.120
until you actually get to know him yourself.

1224
01:16:36.120 --> 01:16:36.960
All right.

1225
01:16:36.960 --> 01:16:39.680
And maybe he is a not so great guy.

1226
01:16:39.680 --> 01:16:41.320
Okay, so you kind of got an idea,

1227
01:16:41.320 --> 01:16:42.960
like, okay, there's a yellow flag there.

1228
01:16:42.960 --> 01:16:46.680
You can be on the lookout for it and see.

1229
01:16:46.680 --> 01:16:51.680
But again, I mean, not everyone's going to be for you

1230
01:16:52.080 --> 01:16:54.240
and not everyone's gonna be for somebody else.

1231
01:16:54.280 --> 01:16:57.840
And so it's really about just giving people

1232
01:16:57.840 --> 01:17:01.520
the honor and respect just to get to know them

1233
01:17:01.520 --> 01:17:04.320
as who they are and who they present themselves, right?

1234
01:17:05.440 --> 01:17:10.200
And so I think again, like, if it happens,

1235
01:17:10.200 --> 01:17:14.320
it's just keeping the mindset of, you know,

1236
01:17:14.320 --> 01:17:15.640
or maybe it happens to you.

1237
01:17:15.640 --> 01:17:17.520
Maybe there was someone that you were interested in

1238
01:17:17.520 --> 01:17:19.960
and that person said, nope, I'm not interested.

1239
01:17:19.960 --> 01:17:22.320
And then now they go and like, when you're friends,

1240
01:17:22.320 --> 01:17:25.560
like, we got to check our heart

1241
01:17:25.560 --> 01:17:29.840
and what belief are we believing

1242
01:17:29.840 --> 01:17:33.000
about someone that's not for us

1243
01:17:33.000 --> 01:17:34.800
or someone that's for somebody else?

1244
01:17:34.800 --> 01:17:36.200
Does that make sense?

1245
01:17:36.200 --> 01:17:38.760
Yeah, because I think that if,

1246
01:17:39.760 --> 01:17:43.920
because I try to stick to the principle,

1247
01:17:43.920 --> 01:17:46.080
it's a yes until it's a no.

1248
01:17:46.080 --> 01:17:51.080
So to at least, if it had not been for the fact

1249
01:17:51.400 --> 01:17:55.600
that he had done that to her, I probably would have,

1250
01:17:55.600 --> 01:17:59.840
not that I feel any sparks or anything,

1251
01:17:59.840 --> 01:18:02.600
but I would have at least have responded

1252
01:18:02.600 --> 01:18:07.000
and started chatting and maybe gotten

1253
01:18:07.000 --> 01:18:09.600
to meet him virtually or in person.

1254
01:18:09.600 --> 01:18:12.520
But because he behaved in that fashion,

1255
01:18:12.520 --> 01:18:17.440
I thought, I don't want to interact

1256
01:18:17.440 --> 01:18:19.840
with somebody like that, yeah.

1257
01:18:20.280 --> 01:18:21.600
No, and I think that's fine too.

1258
01:18:21.600 --> 01:18:23.360
I mean, that's why, I mean, again,

1259
01:18:23.360 --> 01:18:25.480
us girls are going to chat with each other.

1260
01:18:25.480 --> 01:18:30.080
Like, I mean, I had that happen with a guy I dated

1261
01:18:31.120 --> 01:18:36.120
on the apps and it turns out like years later,

1262
01:18:36.480 --> 01:18:40.000
one of the girls I worked with, she started dating him

1263
01:18:40.000 --> 01:18:41.760
and we were talking and I'm like, wait,

1264
01:18:41.760 --> 01:18:43.600
is his name so-and-so?

1265
01:18:43.600 --> 01:18:45.360
And she's like, yeah.

1266
01:18:45.360 --> 01:18:49.120
And I'm like, girl, that's the guy that I dated.

1267
01:18:49.120 --> 01:18:50.080
And I'm like, and remember,

1268
01:18:50.080 --> 01:18:52.400
that was the guy that came into my work.

1269
01:18:52.400 --> 01:18:54.440
I said, and I, and she's like, oh, it was.

1270
01:18:54.440 --> 01:18:56.760
And so, I mean, we had a good laugh about it, you know?

1271
01:18:56.760 --> 01:18:59.320
And I said, look, the guy is a nice guy.

1272
01:18:59.320 --> 01:19:00.680
I said, he just wasn't for me.

1273
01:19:00.680 --> 01:19:02.880
I mean, there was some things that he did

1274
01:19:02.880 --> 01:19:05.080
that I was like, that didn't seem very healthy

1275
01:19:05.080 --> 01:19:07.640
and she knew about it, but I'm like, no hard feelings.

1276
01:19:07.640 --> 01:19:10.480
Like, you know, good for him.

1277
01:19:10.480 --> 01:19:13.400
He's still getting out there, I guess, you know?

1278
01:19:13.400 --> 01:19:15.880
And she was, and she's a grown adult.

1279
01:19:15.880 --> 01:19:18.320
She can make her own choices as well, you know?

1280
01:19:18.520 --> 01:19:21.640
And I oftentimes told her about this program,

1281
01:19:21.640 --> 01:19:24.400
this community, and she didn't take the offer.

1282
01:19:24.400 --> 01:19:27.160
I was like, I thought it was gonna be very helpful for her.

1283
01:19:27.160 --> 01:19:28.880
She had a lot of, you know,

1284
01:19:28.880 --> 01:19:33.880
bad, unhealthy behaviors herself

1285
01:19:34.120 --> 01:19:36.320
with how she was approaching dating.

1286
01:19:36.320 --> 01:19:38.960
But, you know, I loved her where she was at

1287
01:19:38.960 --> 01:19:41.840
and always offered, you know, this community

1288
01:19:41.840 --> 01:19:43.680
and this program and, you know,

1289
01:19:43.680 --> 01:19:45.880
and I let that be her choice.

1290
01:19:45.880 --> 01:19:47.600
But I still supported her

1291
01:19:47.600 --> 01:19:50.360
and I still had a good laugh with her and, you know,

1292
01:19:52.760 --> 01:19:54.720
whatever, to each their own, right?

1293
01:19:54.720 --> 01:19:55.680
Yeah, exactly.

1294
01:19:55.680 --> 01:19:57.040
Okay, thank you.

1295
01:19:57.040 --> 01:19:57.880
You're welcome.

1296
01:19:57.880 --> 01:19:59.520
All right, Karen, you're my last one.

1297
01:19:59.520 --> 01:20:00.360
How are you?

1298
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.480
I saw that you kind of had the same situation.

1299
01:20:04.480 --> 01:20:08.760
Let me tell you at all I can say is that.

1300
01:20:08.760 --> 01:20:12.280
It is no, it is so serious that we are so

1301
01:20:12.360 --> 01:20:16.360
God defended here and I'm just so thankful I'm going

1302
01:20:16.440 --> 01:20:20.480
to catch up with Lane and share my experience with her

1303
01:20:20.480 --> 01:20:23.520
a little bit later, but just so thankful.

1304
01:20:23.520 --> 01:20:27.400
So I've got two really quick questions.

1305
01:20:27.400 --> 01:20:31.160
I want to say, though, that I am with everybody.

1306
01:20:31.160 --> 01:20:34.920
I came back from being from just exhausted from a

1307
01:20:35.000 --> 01:20:38.520
week of ministering last last week and I was so

1308
01:20:38.600 --> 01:20:40.440
discouraged with online.

1309
01:20:40.440 --> 01:20:44.040
I was ready to pull myself out of every single app

1310
01:20:44.120 --> 01:20:47.720
and just hide under the covers and put the pillow

1311
01:20:47.800 --> 01:20:50.840
on my head and just say I can't anymore.

1312
01:20:50.840 --> 01:20:54.440
The one thing that is keeping me online honestly is

1313
01:20:54.440 --> 01:20:57.960
the fact that people with the different men are

1314
01:20:58.040 --> 01:21:01.400
highlighting different parts of my personality.

1315
01:21:01.400 --> 01:21:05.160
And so because I'm such a people pleaser, what I'm

1316
01:21:05.240 --> 01:21:08.840
finding is that I'm showing up more authentically as

1317
01:21:08.920 --> 01:21:12.520
who I am and not being fearful of showing my quirks

1318
01:21:12.600 --> 01:21:13.560
and my crazy.

1319
01:21:13.560 --> 01:21:17.000
But I'm recognizing my quirkiness and just being OK

1320
01:21:17.080 --> 01:21:20.680
with and being OK with it and recognizing that whoever

1321
01:21:20.680 --> 01:21:24.200
God has for me, it's going to be OK with those

1322
01:21:24.280 --> 01:21:25.320
things as well.

1323
01:21:25.320 --> 01:21:28.600
So my first question is, there's a gentleman who

1324
01:21:28.680 --> 01:21:31.240
actually Facebook matched me with him.

1325
01:21:31.240 --> 01:21:34.760
And usually when Facebook matches me with somebody,

1326
01:21:34.840 --> 01:21:37.560
it's kind of like, OK, next, next, next.

1327
01:21:37.560 --> 01:21:40.600
But this guy, this guy is really interesting.

1328
01:21:40.600 --> 01:21:43.400
And so I want to get to know him better.

1329
01:21:43.400 --> 01:21:46.440
We spent about two or three days on the app.

1330
01:21:46.440 --> 01:21:49.080
So my first question is how to convert.

1331
01:21:49.240 --> 01:21:50.440
That into a call.

1332
01:21:50.440 --> 01:21:53.880
And I know I've heard it a gazillion times, but it

1333
01:21:53.960 --> 01:21:56.120
just is never it's not sticking.

1334
01:21:56.120 --> 01:21:59.320
And then the second thing is he's been so very

1335
01:21:59.400 --> 01:22:00.120
transparent.

1336
01:22:00.120 --> 01:22:03.800
It's been one of the things I've been so thankful for.

1337
01:22:03.800 --> 01:22:05.160
I work in a church.

1338
01:22:05.160 --> 01:22:08.440
I'm a children's ministry director, and I have had

1339
01:22:08.520 --> 01:22:11.880
things happen both ways where I've told somebody my

1340
01:22:11.960 --> 01:22:15.160
position and they all of a sudden are very, very

1341
01:22:15.240 --> 01:22:18.200
interested in meeting me, especially Christian.

1342
01:22:18.360 --> 01:22:21.480
And they're like, oh, you know, they were never

1343
01:22:21.560 --> 01:22:23.640
interested in going out with me.

1344
01:22:23.640 --> 01:22:27.480
And then I say, yeah, I'm a children's ministry director

1345
01:22:27.560 --> 01:22:28.120
at church.

1346
01:22:28.120 --> 01:22:29.880
And they're like, oh, really?

1347
01:22:29.880 --> 01:22:31.000
Let's have coffee.

1348
01:22:31.000 --> 01:22:34.360
Or I've also had the ghosting, you know, Christians.

1349
01:22:34.360 --> 01:22:37.240
I'm like, I'm a children's ministry director.

1350
01:22:37.240 --> 01:22:40.520
And they kind of go, they exit stage left, never to

1351
01:22:40.600 --> 01:22:41.880
be heard from again.

1352
01:22:41.880 --> 01:22:45.080
And so I want to know the best way to share that

1353
01:22:45.160 --> 01:22:48.120
information, because honestly, Jesus is my job,

1354
01:22:48.120 --> 01:22:49.320
and I have a heart.

1355
01:22:49.320 --> 01:22:52.680
I want people to know me apart from, you know, my

1356
01:22:52.760 --> 01:22:54.040
position and my job.

1357
01:22:54.040 --> 01:22:55.080
I love my job.

1358
01:22:55.080 --> 01:22:56.360
But and I get it.

1359
01:22:56.360 --> 01:22:57.800
It's very intimidating.

1360
01:22:57.800 --> 01:23:00.920
I work from I work 50 feet from three pastors.

1361
01:23:00.920 --> 01:23:01.560
I get it.

1362
01:23:01.560 --> 01:23:02.520
It's intimidating.

1363
01:23:02.520 --> 01:23:05.960
And so, you know, and I'm in meetings with them all

1364
01:23:06.040 --> 01:23:06.680
week long.

1365
01:23:06.680 --> 01:23:07.640
So I get it.

1366
01:23:07.640 --> 01:23:08.680
It's intimidating.

1367
01:23:08.680 --> 01:23:12.120
I just kind of want to know the best way to share

1368
01:23:12.200 --> 01:23:13.320
that information.

1369
01:23:13.320 --> 01:23:16.520
I think you can just, you know, if you have a

1370
01:23:16.920 --> 01:23:19.960
I think you can just, you know, when they act like

1371
01:23:20.040 --> 01:23:23.080
I mean, if he's being transparent with you about

1372
01:23:23.160 --> 01:23:26.120
like what his job is, I mean, just say I work in

1373
01:23:26.200 --> 01:23:26.680
ministry.

1374
01:23:26.680 --> 01:23:29.720
Like, can you just say that like I work in ministry

1375
01:23:29.800 --> 01:23:31.000
and, you know, it's.

1376
01:23:31.000 --> 01:23:34.040
You know, and here's the thing with this guy, I

1377
01:23:34.120 --> 01:23:37.320
wonder if you can say, you know, I work in ministry.

1378
01:23:37.320 --> 01:23:40.520
I would be open to sharing a little bit more about

1379
01:23:40.600 --> 01:23:40.840
it.

1380
01:23:40.840 --> 01:23:43.800
However, my experience with sharing what I do has

1381
01:23:43.800 --> 01:23:46.360
often led to these two circumstances.

1382
01:23:46.360 --> 01:23:48.040
So I'm a I apologize.

1383
01:23:48.040 --> 01:23:51.640
I'm a little guarded about sharing in more detail

1384
01:23:51.720 --> 01:23:54.200
because of the experiences I've had.

1385
01:23:54.200 --> 01:23:57.880
So would it be OK with you if I waited a little

1386
01:23:57.960 --> 01:23:59.880
bit to share that with you?

1387
01:23:59.880 --> 01:24:03.480
Or if he's like, oh, my goodness, absolutely, you

1388
01:24:03.560 --> 01:24:05.160
know, lead it to that.

1389
01:24:05.160 --> 01:24:08.920
Be very like you can be honest about I work in

1390
01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:09.480
ministry.

1391
01:24:09.480 --> 01:24:13.400
I'm hesitant to share about what I do because of

1392
01:24:13.480 --> 01:24:15.080
what I've experienced.

1393
01:24:15.080 --> 01:24:17.720
Ladies, being honest is being kind.

1394
01:24:17.720 --> 01:24:21.560
Being, you know, and letting someone know why you

1395
01:24:21.640 --> 01:24:25.160
might not feel comfortable with something that is

1396
01:24:25.240 --> 01:24:28.200
that allows them to respect your boundary.

1397
01:24:28.200 --> 01:24:32.200
OK, and then as you get to know him, you start to

1398
01:24:32.280 --> 01:24:33.000
understand.

1399
01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:34.600
You start to understand.

1400
01:24:34.600 --> 01:24:36.280
You start to understand.

1401
01:24:36.680 --> 01:24:40.040
OK, and then as you get to know him and you

1402
01:24:40.120 --> 01:24:43.560
feel more comfortable to let him in and you could

1403
01:24:43.640 --> 01:24:46.840
say, you know, this has happened with guys that

1404
01:24:46.920 --> 01:24:49.960
I've been interested in getting to know more.

1405
01:24:49.960 --> 01:24:52.360
So when I share it and then they.

1406
01:24:52.360 --> 01:24:55.960
Kind of leave, it's it's just hard on my heart

1407
01:24:56.040 --> 01:24:59.320
or, you know, guys never being interested in

1408
01:24:59.400 --> 01:25:00.520
what I'm doing.

1409
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.840
before but then as soon as I told them then they were interested in me and then

1410
01:25:00.520 --> 01:25:04.440
So I'm kind of like, OK, I'm going to let him

1411
01:25:03.840 --> 01:25:08.360
I didn't feel like they were really wanting to know me for who I am not what

1412
01:25:08.360 --> 01:25:17.240
I do so just being able to communicate that okay good and ladies I get the

1413
01:25:17.240 --> 01:25:22.640
discouragement I this I feel like is is constantly being brought up and I want I

1414
01:25:22.640 --> 01:25:27.960
want to again just emphasize I've been where you're at

1415
01:25:27.960 --> 01:25:32.200
ladies I've been where you're at with the discouragement especially online

1416
01:25:32.200 --> 01:25:38.600
dating the one thing that I can share wisdom about and and encourage you

1417
01:25:38.600 --> 01:25:43.640
ladies to do when you feel the discouragement let us know come in the

1418
01:25:43.640 --> 01:25:51.120
app let us know all right because it's it sounds like it's affecting a lot of

1419
01:25:51.120 --> 01:25:59.960
you ladies right now and we can't pray into it we can't help you know pour into

1420
01:25:59.960 --> 01:26:04.480
you if we don't know what's happening and it's not by circumstance that y'all

1421
01:26:04.480 --> 01:26:12.400
are feeling this discouragement okay it is so important to be to practice the

1422
01:26:12.400 --> 01:26:15.560
vulnerability and transparency in our community and let us know what's

1423
01:26:15.560 --> 01:26:19.720
happening where are you feeling discouraged ladies I share this because

1424
01:26:19.720 --> 01:26:28.680
I was extremely discouraged in this community so much so I mean I was

1425
01:26:28.680 --> 01:26:33.400
putting it out there and I like I was ready to throw in the towel I was done I

1426
01:26:33.400 --> 01:26:37.640
was done with dating and Jackie knew I was about to be done with dating so I

1427
01:26:37.640 --> 01:26:41.040
was like I'm done I can't do this I'm a single mom and I'm failing as a mom and

1428
01:26:41.040 --> 01:26:44.680
I don't feel like I'm being present with my kid and I'm like I'm constantly

1429
01:26:44.680 --> 01:26:48.960
getting disappointed I know I'm I've done a lot of healing I know I'm a great

1430
01:26:48.960 --> 01:26:54.280
catch but none of these guys will even look my way and I'm getting angry and

1431
01:26:54.280 --> 01:26:59.640
I'm getting ticked off I mean like y'all like Jackie could sit and just tell you

1432
01:26:59.640 --> 01:27:06.280
stories about me okay and she reached out to me and she's like I know you're

1433
01:27:06.280 --> 01:27:11.840
discouraged but I I believe that you you can still meet your husband this year

1434
01:27:11.880 --> 01:27:15.400
she's like you're not getting married this year because I was so certain in

1435
01:27:15.400 --> 01:27:20.520
2022 I was getting married y'all beginning of November there was no

1436
01:27:20.520 --> 01:27:25.320
prospects in sight and she's calling me okay now this is when we were a much

1437
01:27:25.320 --> 01:27:31.920
smaller community so she can't she can't reach out to everybody this way okay but

1438
01:27:31.920 --> 01:27:38.360
she was like look you're the bride like God showed me you're the bride show me

1439
01:27:38.360 --> 01:27:44.360
that you're next he's shown me and I know you're discouraged but just borrow

1440
01:27:44.360 --> 01:27:50.000
my faith and she's like you're not getting married this year but you can

1441
01:27:50.000 --> 01:27:52.480
meet your husband by the end of this year and I'm sitting here thinking it is

1442
01:27:52.480 --> 01:27:57.640
the beginning of November we got two months I got a kid that's in sports and

1443
01:27:57.640 --> 01:28:02.320
holidays are about to be around the corner I am NOT going to do this and

1444
01:28:02.320 --> 01:28:06.680
she's like be open just be open to it she's like it'd be open to dating

1445
01:28:06.680 --> 01:28:11.280
somebody that doesn't live near you I'm like whatever at this point I gotta give

1446
01:28:11.280 --> 01:28:17.440
it to God y'all a week later after that conversation with Jackie literally seven

1447
01:28:17.440 --> 01:28:24.960
days my husband dropped into my DMS he reached out to me I thought he lived in

1448
01:28:24.960 --> 01:28:28.600
Florida and I was like okay I'll give this guy an opportunity I wasn't sure I

1449
01:28:28.600 --> 01:28:33.560
mean his profile read really really well I was very interested by it he was a

1450
01:28:33.560 --> 01:28:39.680
decent-looking guy was I like super attracted to him no and I gave it a shot

1451
01:28:39.680 --> 01:28:44.160
and so when I reached out to him when we started talking realized that he lived

1452
01:28:44.160 --> 01:28:48.360
in Texas and I was like well I talked to my mentor and I have to be open to this

1453
01:28:48.360 --> 01:28:56.520
and ladies like three weeks later I met him in person and the rest was history

1454
01:28:56.520 --> 01:29:00.160
like there was just something different and God really gave a lot of

1455
01:29:00.160 --> 01:29:08.120
confirmation and you know we were talking about you know marriage within

1456
01:29:08.120 --> 01:29:14.120
those you know several weeks of getting to know each other and you know it was

1457
01:29:14.120 --> 01:29:18.960
accelerated I don't tell this story often because I don't want people to you

1458
01:29:18.960 --> 01:29:24.160
know accelerate something that God's not accelerating okay because that can be

1459
01:29:24.160 --> 01:29:29.760
dangerous to getting into a serious relationship as quickly as we did but it

1460
01:29:29.760 --> 01:29:36.480
was not without me pouring into this community and and sharing with Jackie

1461
01:29:36.480 --> 01:29:40.960
and sharing with my sisters in this community about what was happening so

1462
01:29:40.960 --> 01:29:47.200
all that to say is share your discouragement let us know what's going

1463
01:29:47.200 --> 01:29:53.520
on we're here to support you we're here to lift you up okay and just know that

1464
01:29:53.520 --> 01:29:59.240
one day you can be discouraged and a week later or two you're it it can

1465
01:29:59.240 --> 01:30:01.520
change

1466
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.800
right? God can do some pretty incredible things and we just have to be willing to

1467
01:30:06.800 --> 01:30:15.360
supernaturally surrender the pen, okay? And we can do that more effectively when we're leaning

1468
01:30:15.360 --> 01:30:22.880
on each other, okay? So ladies, we're about 15 minutes over so I'm going to let you,

1469
01:30:22.880 --> 01:30:30.160
I'm going to release you ladies and bless you, okay? I want you to feel encouraged this week,

1470
01:30:30.800 --> 01:30:35.600
reach out, make connections with each other in this community. It is going to be

1471
01:30:35.600 --> 01:30:44.480
such a big blessing for you to connect with these women. And so we just, we thank you for

1472
01:30:44.480 --> 01:30:50.400
showing up and being here. We couldn't do this if you all were not vulnerable enough to be here.

1473
01:30:51.120 --> 01:30:57.920
So keep showing up, keep pressing forward and don't isolate when you're feeling discouraged.

1474
01:30:57.920 --> 01:31:05.600
Let us know, okay? We're here to support you. All right ladies, I love you so much and if you can

1475
01:31:05.600 --> 01:31:10.880
jump on Ebony's call tonight, please do. If not, I will see you all next week and I will see you

1476
01:31:10.880 --> 01:31:16.080
in the app, okay? Love you ladies. Have a great day. Thank you.