Summary. Chapter one. Where it all began. So much of our patterns of behaviour are laid down in our early years, creating the lens which we see the world.
I believe more is caught than taught. Navigating seven schools, three homes, shifting a life in town to one in the country, on an equestrian yard are all part of the story.
In this chapter, seeds of faith were sown here, opening up doors to a positive, I-can-do-all-things attitude. The freedom in this chapter is the great exchange, how to have peace, love, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control in our lives every day.
Chapter two. Looking back to move forward. Understanding our genealogy and our family history opens massive doors to compassion and empathy, breaking chains on generational pain, reflection and hurt, releasing forgiveness and bringing joy.
Navigating my teenage years, my sexuality, my loneliness and the holes in my heart I was trying to fill are all shared here. The freedom to wipe away the tears of pain and to replace them with tears of joy in the God box or tissue box in this chapter is the game changer for life.
Chapter three. Lost and found. Stepping out of the unknown after high school was one of my biggest steps of faith. After failing my university entrance exams, I was completely lost. I had to carve my own path and create a life for myself outside of all I knew.
My home, school and university I planned to go to. If it was meant to be, it was up to me. It was time to leave the comfort of the familiar and go out into the big wide world and make a go of it. Freedom comes from living L-I-F-E in the right priority. This helps in reducing stress, anxiety and overwhelm and exchanging them for peace, rest, clarity and purpose.
Chapter four. Carving my own path. This time in my life between 18 and 24 was filled with so much adventure, learning and rapid growth. The challenges of finding the right mate, buying my first property and climbing the career ladder are all part of this chapter's rich flavour. Freedom comes when we master the internal battle of love over fear. This is the call to adventure in this chapter.
Chapter five. You are not alone. Living the dream that everyone talks about, working for some of the coolest people on the planet, learning to be self-sufficient, single but unavailable, living the high life. I was nailing it. And then I wasn't. This chapter of my life was one of real reflection. Who was really on the journey with me and who was not?
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Life is not linear and the freedom in this chapter is seeing who has sown into your life in the past, present and future.
Chapter six. Onwards and upwards. The only way is up, especially when you're unemployed and technically homeless. It doesn't matter how many times we fall. It's how many times we get back up that counts. And in this season, everything started to fall into place.
All my dreams were coming true. I couldn't have wanted for more. I was home. I was happy. I had healthy relationships. I was learning to let go and leave the past behind to walk into a bright new future. The freedom that came from tracking my wins, gains and learns was massive key to the treasure within at this time.
Chapter seven. Forging ahead. I was on fire, on a mission and nothing was going to hold me back. I was digging all the boxes. I had a fabulous team, a great partner with prospects, a beautiful home and hope for a fantastic future. I had it all sorted in my head, which overruled my heart.
My fiance's and my values were out of alignment and I was totally unaware of them and the impact that was going to have further down the track. And who cared? I was on fire. Freedom came later when I learned about the principles of the values rules and the application of the Pareto principle, which is shared in this chapter.
Chapter eight. A perfect day. For many women, their wedding day is their perfect day. I was no exception. The joy of two perfect days.
Years of preparation and of everything and everyone coming together so beautifully
was next level. Overcoming some of the bittersweet hurdles and having a family
honeymoon in the Lake District was something only seen in the movies. Freedom came in the
reflection on this day. It was where I found my true identity, my real reason for being on this
planet, my why and purpose. Enjoy this chapter's call to adventure, it's fun.
Chapter nine, living life by design, not by default. Being married, buying a second property
as well as moving up the property ladder, the joy of starting a family. I had the challenge
of letting go of it all to live on the other side of the world in New Zealand.
This was another season of exponential learning and growth, of carving a path with a clear future
ahead. The freedom of working through the smurty format brings the process of this chapter to life
and puts the keys to happiness safely in your hands. Chapter 10, life alignment. The joy of
having all your ducks in a row where everything you could ever have dreamed of and more was given
to me. The family I never had, the community I had loved in England was here in New Zealand,
along with this beautiful sunshine, warm weather and an outdoor lifestyle. I was in my element,
having so much fun. The freedom of having my priorities in order and living my adventure.
Chapter 11, a life filled full or a life fulfilled. And then performance culture, keeping up with the
Joneses and living up to everyone else's expectations started to take its toll. I was the fix-it queen,
trying to be all things to everyone, filling everyone else's holes while not looking at the
cavern in mine. God is the creator and answer to all things, not me. I was in the thick of thin
things, being a jack of all trades and master of none. Freedom came when I understood my brilliance,
my gifting and which lane was mine to own and run in. Chapter 12, the bottom of the pit.
The death of my dad, the breakdown of my marriage, the battle of trying to keep up appearances
and what for. This season was a real awakening for me. I often say how sad it was that it took
my dad to die for me to be set free. However, this is exactly what would this lived experience brought.
I started to come alive to the person I really was and discover a hidden power and treasure
within. Freedom came as I activated the elite system and turned my heart towards God.
Chapter 13, hurt people, hurt people. The domestic violence, verbal abuse and the struggle to hold
on was a tug of war I would not wish upon any human being and is a massive driving force for
the work that I do. Saving marriages before they get to this stage is now the gold that this lived
experience has brought. Out of the ashes we rise. I was supernaturally clovered in this season and
had no idea. Your words have power. Freedom came when I turned my words of hate, grief,
sadness and failure into words of love, peace, joy and encouragement.
Chapter 14, grace upon grace. Healed people, heal people. Grace upon grace. Blessing after
blessing. I am and will be forever grateful to those who stood with me in this season.
So many people loved on us. The hands and feet that came to help me upheld me through this storm
so I could come out on the other side a better not bitter person. I started to discover my secret
place, the freedom of a personal relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It all started
here away from religion and away from the crowds. Chapter 15, no turning back. Two part-time jobs
became one. Both children were secure in their schooling going forward. I had a healthy return
on the property market and was mortgage free. Connecting with the man of God and waking up
the fact that there was more to life than the material things we own. These were all part of
this chapter. Freedom was finding the meaning.
missing peace in my life.
Chapter 16, fitting together, not fitting in.
There was another steep learning curve
as Kevin and I began to blend a family that
were complete opposites.
One side had everything anyone could possibly want,
and the other appeared to have very little.
A honeymoon with three teenagers and two quite different
families and friends.
The freedom here is knowing your why.
When your why is strong enough, you'll find any how.
Chapter 17, right alignment.
Letting go of a job that didn't work for either me or my family
opened up a whole new world of opportunity.
Many thought I was mad, giving up a great job and salary.
I was relieved and released into my calling, my gifting,
and my best life.
Starting my own business, hanging out
in a happy, clappy church, holy moly, who would have known?
None of this was on my agenda, and yet both
brought me so much joy.
The freedom that came, and I gave my life to Jesus.
I stepped into a life where the best days are ahead of me,
and I invite you to do the same.
Chapter 18, we are better together.
Teamwork, together everyone achieves more,
really does make the dream work.
As Teresa Cook shared in Brilliant School of Leadership,
if you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together, Cook 2024.
Launching and growing a business took
a team of mentors, supporters, family, and friends.
And it's all about relationships.
Church isn't a building, it's the people,
a people who know there is more to life than to exist.
The journey of adventure and discovery God has
and is taking me on is more than I could possibly
have imagined, dreamed, or ever hoped for.
And it's all open to you too.
The freedom to have fun and play games
and take the pressure off has awakened a love fulfillment
in me that I never knew existed, let alone was possible.
Enjoy.
Conclusion, time to stand.
It's time to be measured on results,
on the positive impact on the lives of the people who
are around you.
I love how those I work with discover
a power within that gives them a true meaning and purpose,
producing some outstanding results.
For me, it is all about the fruit and the outcomes.
We can have all the qualifications on the planet
and all the money in the world, but does it
make us truly happy?
I believe I have found and stand in my missing piece
and invite you to discover and stand in yours.
End notes.
References for this book, Lee C. Docter, 2013,
Switch on Your Brain, The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking
and Health Brilliance, Audio.
Chapter 2, Hartley L., 1953, The Go-Between Nexus.
Chapter 3, Covi S. R. R.
Chapter 3, Covi S. R., 2020, The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People, Simon and Schuster.
Chapter 4, Gibson S., 2015, July 7, Project K, Guest Speaker.
Dr. Gabor Marte, 2023, November 1,
How Your Emotions Can Literally Make You Stick,
and that's a video on YouTube.
Chapter 13, Unknown, Nails in the Fence Story,
Ripple Kindness, and you can find that at www.ripplekindness.org,
Nails in the Fence.
Chapter 15, Saxton T., 2017, January 7,
Prophecy from a Lecture.
Chapter 16, Warren R., 2030, The Purpose of a Driven Life,
Zondervan.
And summary, Cook T., 2024, September the 1st,
Brilliant School of Leadership Lecture.