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Welcome to our July 7th heartwork, heart check in so glad to have you all joining us tonight.

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My name is Bethany Cooper, I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here in the community.

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And it's my pleasure to meet you if I've never met you before if you're here joining us for

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the first time, as in like, this is your first live session, we'd love for you to put that

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in the chat for us so that we can welcome you for those returning Welcome back.

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Some of you I know are about in the end of your journey here in heartwork, you're in

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your fifth week.

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And I just want to say congratulations, you've been seeing this through all the way and God

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is doing amazing things in your life.

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And this is just this, this is just the beginning, there's so much greatness ahead for you.

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I see a lot of first timers Welcome, Nadine, I'm not sure first name for Jockabed, but

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welcome, Elizabeth, Karen, Jennifer.

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And Jockabed.

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Again, I don't know your first name, because it just says iPhone, but you're just finished

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first week.

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That's great.

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First live check in Cassie.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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So welcome, everyone.

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We're so glad to have so many joining us on this journey for the first time and you're

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in your first week.

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Sorry, y'all have a little tickle right in my nose.

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I'm so sorry to do that on camera.

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It just keeps kind of tickling right in there.

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Anyways, we're so glad to have you here and just be excited about the journey that's ahead.

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I want to just encourage you that there's so many blessings that are just left to be

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unveiled for you in this journey.

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If you continue to ask the Lord to reveal things for healing, for upgrades and understanding

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and revelation and for enlightenment, every step of the way we can step further into revelation

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and understanding.

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Y'all, I knew God was a supernatural God years ago, but I definitely, that was one of the

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things he said he was going to teach me in 2025, more about the supernatural realm.

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And I've been praying into that and I'll tell you what, I've seen an acceleration in financial

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blessings just coming out of nowhere.

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Just things totally unexpected.

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Even today, after literally 30 minutes after I finished this afternoon's live session,

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Brian and I got a call from someone who they're feeling led to so into our journey to work

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towards having a baby and it's just, God's just blessing our socks off.

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So I just want to start tonight's session with that because it's no coincidence to me

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what our content is tonight and what I was coaching on and talking about and helping

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lead people into this revelation of who God is and to then turn around and have God in

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all of his goodness.

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Just bless me.

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Right.

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Right.

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Like turn around.

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It's just blessing flowing.

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And maybe that's not where you've been because years ago, that's not how I felt.

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I loved God.

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I knew God was good, but I didn't, I didn't fully understand how much capacity I could

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have to receive his goodness.

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But I want you to know like so much has changed in just four years time of my life that I

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know so much more about receiving the goodness and love of God in a fresh way than I did

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four years ago.

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And my life is radically different now and it continues to be so.

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And that's why I'm saying that I feel like I even got another upgrade in that revelation

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today.

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And so that's why I want to give that to you, that he's good and he's always working on

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your behalf.

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He's fighting for you even when you don't know that he's fighting for you.

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And so before I get too far into our session tonight, I just wanted to kind of plant that

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seed.

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I have a couple of housekeeping things to give you as well.

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I want to encourage you, we have a couple of best practice things for the ladies that

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are almost finished.

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You've heard this a couple of times, but for our new ladies, I have to repeat it.

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So a couple of things, you want to press pause on dating.

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If you were in a serious relationship coming into this program, we're not saying you have

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to break up with them, but what we are saying is you need to give yourself space and time

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to focus on your heart healing.

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If you've been on the dating apps or trying to meet guys, still, we want to encourage

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you to press pause on that.

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And here's why, you're going to really benefit yourself by doing that.

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You're going to allow yourself to focus on yourself and your healing and allow the Lord

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to give to you everything he's trying to get to you.

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You came here because you needed healing and you're needing help in your romantic love

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story.

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One of the things that we have found is that when people come through the heart work and

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they think they can juggle dating and heart work, y'all, it doesn't work.

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They start dating people and then they get further down the road and then they have to

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come back and do the heart work.

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It happens time and time again.

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So do yourself a favor, just focus on your heart work and your healing in this process.

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And then also one week of content per week is what our recommendation is.

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If you take longer than five weeks, that's totally fine.

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We're not opposed to that at all, because again, you want to follow the Holy Spirit

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in your process.

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But the one thing that we are asking you is to not fly through the program, okay?

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So we don't want you to be done before five weeks.

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All right, let's see here.

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Investing in your self-care during this journey is also going to be really important.

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So move your body, drink a lot of water, eat really healthy, you all, and get extra rest.

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Even if you're not a nap person, just laying down and allowing your body to physically

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rest is going to be really important for you.

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Why do these things matter?

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Well, here is a really big reality.

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As we're processing heart work, our body's releasing toxins into our system.

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Or even if you're experiencing something challenging or things going on in your life, you want

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to make sure that you're giving your body what it needs to process that stuff out so

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that you can be healthy and be whole, more whole each step of the way as you're continuing

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in this process.

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I want to plug Supernatural Saturday.

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Why are you suffering needlessly?

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If you all haven't heard it, check it out.

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It's really, really good.

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I believe it's going to continue to set you free in conjunction with the heart work and

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everything you're learning through that.

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Again, if you're joining us for the first time, welcome.

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If you're returning, we're so glad to have you back with us tonight.

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All right, let me pray first, and we're going to dive right into the content.

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Father, thank you for, Lord, just your goodness, just your faithfulness to us, Lord, even in

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times of doubt or just being uncertain, God, that you're faithful and your amazing love

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just continues to pursue us.

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And I thank you, God, that even when we may not understand who you are, God, as love,

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who you are as peace, who you are as kind.

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God, I thank you that you remain the same.

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I pray that you would reveal things for healing tonight, that you would enable every person

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that's here to have the capacity to receive your truth, that you would bring fresh revelation

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from heaven above and insight, that you would bring light into the darkness and that it

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would shatter the darkness and expel it.

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Lord, we know that light and dark cannot coexist, and we thank you that you sent Jesus as the

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light of the world.

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There is no darkness in him, and I thank you, God, that through your son, Jesus, that we

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are set free.

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We are given freedom, we're given life, we're given hope, and I pray that you would help

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us to receive all of that and more tonight.

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I pray that you would help me to hear what your spirit's saying throughout the session.

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Even though I know the plan and I have the guideline, Lord, we want to hear what you

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have to say, and so help us to hear, Father, in Jesus' name, amen.

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And so tonight, I want to start our content area just kind of saying, hey, did anyone

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notice it's 7-7-25 today?

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That's a big number for me, as far as seven.

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If you don't know the prophetic meaning, there's several, but some of the prophetic meanings

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of the number seven is completion, spiritual wholeness associated with divine presence

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and the culmination of God's work.

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So today, no matter what you've been through up through this point, you came in tonight,

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you're about to experience an upgrade and an experience with God's divine culmination

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of his work in your life.

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He's bringing everything together for good in your life tonight.

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And so when we look at the word culmination, it's like that peak point, that change, that

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high level of, you know, that place of meeting God in a supernatural way.

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And so whether you knew that that's what you were walking into tonight, God has something

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really amazing in store for you.

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And so on that note, one of the things I pray a lot for myself and for other people is for

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God to make us completely whole, lacking no good thing.

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And so on 7725, may that be your prayer, that God would make you completely whole, lacking

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no good thing, that he would make you whole physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually

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and financially, that everything that you have need of would be given to you, but that

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you would also partner with God in the process of transformation, transforming our minds,

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you know, by what?

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Through the renewing of our minds.

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That means we have to be in proximity to revelation and understanding from heaven on a regular

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basis.

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Ladies.

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Okay.

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This is so important.

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I can't emphasize it enough.

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You need to know who God is for yourself.

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You need to like read his word.

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And this isn't about legalism or like religion, check something off a box, but like, father,

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help me to hunger and thirst for your word, to know you, to really know you.

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And in a way like I've never known you before, or even if I, I had this amazing relationship

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with you before, but now there's a disconnect, Lord, help me to not just even reconnect to

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what I knew before, but help me to connect in a healthier way.

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And to understand that you're inviting me into intimacy, that he's asking us to come

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closer.

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And tonight we're going to talk about briefly the story of Candace for those of you that

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just started.

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this story and some of the videos, but the highlights of

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this story is that there is this woman that God was talking to

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Jackie about. And basically God was saying, Candace is going to

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be there and she needs healing. Jackie was planning two

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different conferences. This is years ago. And God kept talking

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to her about Candace. Candace is going to be there and she needs

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healing, but she didn't know who Candace was, y'all. She didn't

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know who Candace was, but God knew who Candace was. God knew

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where Candace was at and he knew how to get Candace what she

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needed. There was a speaker on the docket for one of the

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conferences who ended up not being able to come. So someone

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had to take her place. Does anyone want to guess who the

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person was? It was Candace. So Jackie didn't know that Candace

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ended up being the speaker at this conference. So full circle

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moment, as Jackie finds out who Candace is, they ended up

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meeting and talking and Jackie's able to minister to her and is

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able to basically be a vessel for God to work through to get

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Candace the healing that she needed. And so tonight I want to

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say to you that God knows what you need. He knows where you are

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and he knows how to get it to you. Even when you don't know

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how to help yourself, he knows how to help you. He knows how to

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get you what you need. It's, it's the biggest part of all of

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this, you all, is when we surrender and shift into

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partnering with that truth that God loves you. He wants to get

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you the things that you need. And sometimes there's things

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that you think you want and need, but they're not good for

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you. And so God in his love and his kindness towards you is

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actually protecting you, but you believe he's withholding from

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you. Okay. So some of you tonight, I'm asking God to help

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you shift and to have an upgrade and understanding that he is

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always working on your behalf to not only give you what you

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need, but also some of the things that you want that

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actually would be good for you. But so many of you actually

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don't believe that God wants to bless you. I had one of the

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ladies in the afternoon session she was sharing during the

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coaching part. And one of the things that came out was that

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she didn't really even think that God would want to spend

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time with her. And so I want to put that out there tonight.

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Let's just, let's just kind of activate you all for a minute.

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I would love to see in the chat how many of you, you can relate

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to that statement. You're just not even sure. Like you pray and

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maybe you read your Bible, but you don't even really know,

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like, does it matter to God if you spend time with him? Does

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he care? Does he listen? Maybe you hear in ways like that. Go

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ahead and put in the chat for me. You can just say agree if

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that's something that you relate with. Is that something anyone

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else here tonight? You've gone through that. That's something

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that you feel or experience. And sometimes that causes you to

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create distance between yourself and the Lord. All right, a

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couple of you. All right. Yeah, there can be fear, Nadine.

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That's what came up for her this afternoon as we were coaching.

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And you all, I want to help you tonight understand that, and I

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said it last week, the more honest we are with ourselves, as

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well as with the Lord, the more the Lord is able to come in and

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break down the lies that the enemy has been speaking to us to

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keep us away from the Lord, to cause us to isolate, to pull

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away and to self preserve and all these things that actually

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don't help us, they're harming us. And they're not only

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impacting our relationship with the Lord, but it's impacting our

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relationship with other people. Yeah, Carmen, he does speak

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through many ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. All right, Sarah

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says not fear that he doesn't want to hear me but fear that it

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won't matter or change things. Okay, so good. Okay, I'm loving

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this. This is this is good, ladies. So on that, you know,

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maybe it's that we think we have to convince God of something.

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Are we trying to convince God of what is good for us? Are we

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trying to beg for what the blessing is? Remember, we

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talked a couple weeks ago, if you're brand new, you might not

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have heard this session. But ladies, we're not we're not

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beggars under the table. We're princesses, we're daughters. And

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there's a seat at the banquet. It's not a table that's grubby

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and dirty. There's a beautiful table set with food and and

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beautiful things. And it's not about things, though. The thing

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is, is that it's the abundance of the Lord that everywhere is

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he everywhere he goes, there's just abundance. I just imagine

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like, and this isn't this is not biblical, but in my head, you

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know, just everywhere that he walks that just stuff grows,

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just like every creation just responds to him because he is

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God. It's kind of, this is, this is a bad analogy, but this is what's coming to my mind. Y'all. Now

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you go to the grocery store and as you walk down the areas where the coolers are, you know, as

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you're walking, the lights start turning on. I remember the first time I experienced that I was

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like, Whoa, like, I didn't even know they were doing that, but it's like the light turns on as

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you, as you walk there. Well, he is the light. So guess what? Everywhere he goes, there is light.

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Can you imagine? There's literally no darkness. There's no fear. There's no pain. Everything is

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good. Everything grows. There's life. There's joy. There's hope and abundance. And God wants to

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invite us into those kinds of mindsets. It doesn't mean that we were absent of reality or that we

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don't understand that we're going through hard times because we're all going to face hardship

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and trials. Y'all. So it's not pretending that those things aren't there, but it's receiving

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so much of the love of the father in the midst of them, that we are secure. We're secure in who he

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is. We're secure in who we are in him. And we know that he's good no matter what. All right.

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So we're going to keep going. So I'm asking God to reveal to all of you tonight that he is good

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and that he will come through for you. Not just your sister, not just another person on this

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screen here, not just somebody else in the community, but for you, Elizabeth, for you,

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Jovita, for you, Janie, every lady on here, that God, he has a predestined plan for you.

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And he has Jesus sitting at his right hand interceding for you to step into that a little

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bit more tonight. The struggle is the letdowns, trauma, and unhealed wounds from the past.

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Those cause us to view God and other people through filters and lenses. Remember last week

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when I shared with the sunglasses? Again, if you're joining us new, there's a replay of last

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week's session if you want to go listen to that. But I put on these sunglasses that had the

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UV kind of protection. Well, they change the way everything looks. It's all different color than

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when I don't have the sunglasses on. So just like unforgiveness, it changes the way we see God and

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people, ourselves. It's the same thing about all these other letdowns and trauma and unhealed

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wounds. So where we're going tonight is I want to unpack, A, that God cares about you,

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including your broken promises. Yep, the broken promises, ones that you think that God didn't keep

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for you, as well as other people where they hurt you because they didn't keep

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promises. Maybe even you yourself didn't keep a promise to yourself,

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and that hurt you in some way. And God wants to come in and heal those areas tonight. Numbers

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23 19 in the message version says this, God is not a man when given to lies and not a son,

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a man changing his mind. Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise and not come through?

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I want you to be thinking about that. What do you really believe?

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Do you believe that God is a man of his word? Do you believe that God keeps his promises?

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Or deep down, subconsciously, do you believe that God is a trickster?

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That he dangles things because you see it happen in other people's lives,

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but never in your life? Are those things that you're partnering with in your mind?

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You know, so start really asking yourself tonight, what is it that you really believe about the Lord

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and his character? Who is he to you? Psalm 31 verse 16 says this in the NIV version says,

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let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love, which actually means for

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thy mercy sake. Unfailing love in the Hebrew means this goodness, kindness, faithfulness,

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and merciful. I'm going to read that scripture now to you again. Let your face shine on your

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servant. Save me in your unfailing love, your goodness. Save me in your kindness. Save me in

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your faithfulness, Lord. Save me in your mercy. Does that sound like a God that's a trickster to

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you? It doesn't to me, but so often the enemy tries to come and offer this stuff to us,

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especially when we're feeling weak. Have y'all ever noticed when you're sick,

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when you're not feeling good, man, all the negative thoughts, like even when you can keep

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them at bay for the most part, when you're not feeling well, it's a lot harder to fight that

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stuff off, isn't it? Yeah, but what it does is it actually reveals to us what we're actually

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partnering with at times, even in the times you're feeling good.

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Now, sometimes it's just an attack of the enemy. It's just onslaught.

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The Bible says he'll do that. But then there's other times where it's

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just like, whoa, where did that thought come from? Oh, I think I've been

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thinking about that this week. Have y'all ever had that happen?

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That literally by the time you're not feeling well, it's like it's grown

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because it's had time to grow.

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So what we want to do is we want to catch it before it ever gets to that

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point. And that happens through healing and allowing God to give us

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upgrades in our revelation and our understanding of him.

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Okay, next, next scripture. These are going to all kind of talk about

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unfailing love, but I want to give you different glimpses of them.

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Psalm 32 verse 10 says this many are the woes of the wicked, but the

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Lord's unfailing love surrounds.

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Do you hear it surrounds the one who trust in him unfailing love here

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means mercy shall compass about him.

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Well, what that means the word surround there and the Hebrews says to

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turn turn about or around or aside or back or towards to go about or

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around to surround to encircle.

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God's unfailing love for those who trust in him.

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Will literally encircle us.

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Surrounding us on every side you all.

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Can you kind of just imagine that right now? Like it's like a force

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field. Let's just think superhero. Okay for a second.

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It's like a supernatural force field. If we will rest in the ability to

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trust him.

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We can partner with the truth of what the word says there. That was

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Psalm 32 10 Alicia.

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And that's the NIV version that God's unfailing love literally

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encircles us.

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I imagine not much could get through that.

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What do you think?

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The Bible also says that perfect love cast out fear because fear

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has to do with what torment punishment Jackie was just talking about

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this.

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So if we are living or walking or thinking in fear,

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there's some part of us that is not rooted and grounded in love.

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Him God, God is love.

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All right.

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Next one. Y'all there's so many scripts and I didn't even,

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I didn't even do a whole search on this.

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This just happened from my own devotion time in the last couple days.

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I started just sealing seeing this phrase on failing love and failing

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love.

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And it's like over and over is just jumping out at me.

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It said Psalm 33 verse five, 18 and 22.

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I'm going to read all three of these to you.

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The Lord loves righteousness and justice.

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The earth is full of his unfailing love,

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which it means of the goodness of the Lord verse 18.

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But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him.

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This is a different kind of fear. This is not being afraid.

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This is reverence.

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And those whose hope is in his unfailing love.

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Is your hope in his unfailing love tonight?

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If our hope is in things of the world or people, you all,

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our hope will always fade.

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It'll kind of go up and down with the flows of people in our lives.

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But if our hope is in the Lord,

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In his unfailing love, man, can you imagine?

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It'll just rise from where you're at right now.

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Here's the last one, verse 22.

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May your unfailing love be with us, Lord.

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Even as we put our hope in you again, that unfailing love.

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It's that representation of mercy and goodness.

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You know,

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Elijah was running down the mountain and the goodness of God was

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chasing him down. Y'all can look it up. It's in the Bible.

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Why do we think that this stuff is reserved for people that were in the

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Bible years ago? Do we believe the goodness of God can chase us down?

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And this isn't a tormenting chase you all. I imagine it felt really good.

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Have you ever been in the presence of the Lord? And it's just,

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there's laughter and it smells amazing and there's joy and y'all it's

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good. It's if you've never experienced, I hope you do.

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I hope you do soon and very soon because he is amazing.

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It's good. And there's just this immense love.

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That's what's chasing us down.

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If we believe that that can happen. All right.

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I'm going to read a little bit from the song Sparrows to y'all.

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I don't know if you've heard it in a while or not.

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It used to be a really popular song by Corey Asbury,

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but I feel like it's really fitting for this story and teaching tonight

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about God's promises and his care.

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for us. I want to encourage you to look this up this week and

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listen to it and meditate in the truth of what it says. Here's

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what it says. The sparrow's not worried about tomorrow, or the

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troubles to come. The lily's not thinking about the seasons, the

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drought or the flood. A tree that's planted by the water

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isn't fazed by the fire. So why should I be? Because you take

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good care of me. You take good care of me. You know what I need

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before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with a

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kindness that never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter

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what the future brings. Yeah, you take good care of me. The

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sun's not worried about the winter, because soon it will

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pass. The light is not thinking about the darkness or the shadow

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that it casts. A heart that's planted in forgiveness doesn't

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dwell in the past. So why should I be? Because you take good care

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of me. You take good care of me. You know what I need before I

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even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with a kindness

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that never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the

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future brings. Yeah, you take good care of me. Do you believe

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it tonight? That he's looking out for you and he's carrying

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you in his love and that he has good things for you. Why is this

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time different? We get that question all the time. Why is

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this time any different? You know, and we hear that the enemy

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kind of bombards you all with those kind of thoughts. And I

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want you to know that this time is different because you're

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becoming different. If you choose to be, you're not going

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to be the same person even tomorrow that you were the day

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you came into this community. 100%. It's very rare that people

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leave unchanged. There's something supernatural happening

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here. God's blessing and his grace is on this program, upon

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the teaching, upon the words that are coming forth. And

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people are being set free and delivered from things that

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they've worked, tried to work through for years. It's not

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about us. Thank God we get to be a part of it. It's amazing

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blessing to get to be a part of this, but this is something God

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is doing. And he wants you to be a part of it. You're becoming

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someone new and you're also unbecoming the old counterfeit

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versions of yourself. So you're literally going to be every day

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stepping into this new version of yourself. So you have the

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capability going forward to attract new kinds of people,

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healthier kinds of people into your life, a spirit mate that's

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healthy versus the people that you used to allow yourself to

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date because you just thought you had to settle for less than

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God's best. And Hey, you know, just, I don't even know if

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anybody's going to come. So I better just date this guy.

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Anyone else been there? And we allowed ourselves to be

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mistreated and mishandled, but God has something better for

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you. Ecclesiastes 3.1 in the message version says this,

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there's an opportune time to do things a right time for

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everything on earth. Hard change equals life change. You're about

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to step into your new season. God in Isaiah 43.19, you know, I

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quote this all the time, but I think we need to hear it all the

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time. God says, I'm doing something new. Do you not

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perceive it? I'm making streams in the, the, the wasteland and

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rivers in the desert. And I might say this too backwards. I

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don't really remember. I think that's how the, how it goes, but

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y'all he's doing something new. Can we perceive it? And if we

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can't perceive it yet, maybe we should ask him, God, can you

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help me to perceive what you're doing new in my life? Some days

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it's so hard, Lord, because I just see all the failures. I see

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all the heartache and, and God, I just, I'm struggling to have

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hope, but God, I want, I want to trust you. I want to believe

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that you're good. And I want to see the new things that you're

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doing. Help me to see through your eyes, Lord. Again, when we

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get really humble and we really are honest with the Lord, he

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knows all this stuff already, but he wants to know, are we

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willing to surrender? Are we willing to surrender to seek

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his will? Uh, Gabriella, yes. When you step into Love Story

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Accelerator, that is when we encourage you all to potentially

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enter dating if that is what you feel led to do at that time. Um,

450
00:29:45.580 --> 00:29:48.500
but during the heart work, we, we encourage you to press pause

451
00:29:48.500 --> 00:29:52.820
on that. Um, so that heart change equals life change. Real

452
00:29:52.820 --> 00:29:56.220
and lasting change though is a process. Sometimes you all might

453
00:29:56.220 --> 00:29:59.260
get delivered from stuff like immediately, but most of the

454
00:29:59.260 --> 00:29:59.820
time.

455
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.040
You're going to have to go through a process and God's going to give you opportunities

456
00:30:04.040 --> 00:30:06.240
all along the way for healing.

457
00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:12.880
So one of the things I like to talk about here is that, you know, in our culture, uh,

458
00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:16.520
you know, for forever, the microwave was the fastest thing, right?

459
00:30:16.520 --> 00:30:19.000
In the most, you know, quick way to cook your food.

460
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:22.240
Now you got air fryers, right?

461
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:24.480
And things are getting faster and faster and faster.

462
00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:28.720
We've got instant coffee, we've got instant this, we have food that literally you don't

463
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:30.200
even have to bake it anymore.

464
00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:31.960
You just carry it around.

465
00:30:31.960 --> 00:30:34.480
Everything's kind of quick and done, right?

466
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:39.320
Well, imagine how that impacts the way you show up with everything else.

467
00:30:39.320 --> 00:30:40.320
Really?

468
00:30:40.320 --> 00:30:46.360
We, we, we don't really think about this very often, but the culture that we live in, we

469
00:30:46.360 --> 00:30:52.440
expect relationships to be like that too quick done.

470
00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:54.080
I don't want, I don't want to have to work at this.

471
00:30:54.080 --> 00:30:55.080
I don't want to have a preparation.

472
00:30:55.080 --> 00:30:56.840
I don't want to have a process.

473
00:30:56.840 --> 00:31:00.520
We just, we wanted everything done, done, done.

474
00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:02.480
And I'm not saying, you know, I've been there too.

475
00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:07.920
So no shame on, on any of us, but that isn't reality.

476
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:13.600
The healthiest food, guess what y'all takes time to grow it in a garden and invest in

477
00:31:13.600 --> 00:31:19.240
it and then harvest it and then cook it healthy food for us.

478
00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:21.400
It takes time.

479
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:26.600
So I want you to start shifting the way you're looking at life and the interactions and even

480
00:31:27.360 --> 00:31:28.360
healing process.

481
00:31:28.360 --> 00:31:31.920
Some of you, when you're going through this process might feel frustrated because you

482
00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:34.080
want something to be quicker.

483
00:31:34.080 --> 00:31:38.920
And some of you will try to fly through this program because you're just convincing yourself

484
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:42.660
that you already know all this stuff and you've already done all the healing things and other

485
00:31:42.660 --> 00:31:47.520
groups and communities and you're good, but I'm going to tell you what, if that is your

486
00:31:47.520 --> 00:31:50.240
heart posture, you're not good.

487
00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:54.080
Whether you want to receive that tonight or not, but typically people that are in that

488
00:31:54.080 --> 00:31:57.600
heart heart posture actually are not teachable.

489
00:31:57.600 --> 00:32:01.820
They struggle with being teachable and actually hearing what God wants to say to them in this

490
00:32:01.820 --> 00:32:03.000
new season.

491
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:04.720
I've been learning my whole life.

492
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:11.560
I'm about to be 47 at the end of this month and you all, I don't ever want to stop learning.

493
00:32:11.560 --> 00:32:15.440
I don't ever want to stop growing and I don't want to ever get to the point that I think

494
00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:20.080
I've arrived and that I don't need help.

495
00:32:20.080 --> 00:32:25.080
So are you willing to ask for the upgrade tonight?

496
00:32:25.080 --> 00:32:31.880
Where do you currently need an upgrade in your understanding of God's care for you?

497
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:35.920
That's what I want you to focus on this week as you're praying for revelation.

498
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:41.360
I want you to be asking the Lord, Lord, where do I currently need an upgrade in my understanding

499
00:32:41.360 --> 00:32:46.640
of your care for me?

500
00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:50.240
This is your broke, uh, your breakout question tonight.

501
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.640
It's based on the topic of broken promises.

502
00:32:53.640 --> 00:32:55.560
This is what the question is.

503
00:32:55.560 --> 00:33:01.520
When was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting

504
00:33:01.520 --> 00:33:04.440
you today?

505
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:10.320
I'm going to read it again.

506
00:33:10.320 --> 00:33:15.840
When was the time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting

507
00:33:15.840 --> 00:33:20.160
you today?

508
00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:25.600
When you pray about this, remember this isn't just to go like, okay, this is what it is,

509
00:33:25.600 --> 00:33:29.840
but asking the Lord, Lord, what is the, where does someone break a promise to me that's

510
00:33:29.840 --> 00:33:31.440
still affecting me today?

511
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:37.240
And don't, um, try to kind of, if you think of something that seems small, go with whatever

512
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:38.960
God is showing you.

513
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:44.960
Because sometimes ladies, it's small broken promises that are the root of our pain that

514
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:48.320
have led into these bigger issues that we struggle with.

515
00:33:48.320 --> 00:33:52.000
And so we need to process whatever the Lord is bringing up for us.

516
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:57.200
Um, and I want you to know if you, any of you all, I saw, um, a couple of comments in

517
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.200
the chat.

518
00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:02.480
If, if you're feeling led to cry or anything during these sessions, I want to encourage

519
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:04.360
you to let that stuff out.

520
00:34:04.360 --> 00:34:09.320
Just allow yourself to process whatever comes up for you and don't try to hold it in.

521
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:12.679
It's really important to allow yourself the grace and space to do that.

522
00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:13.679
All right.

523
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:16.239
So I'm going to get these breakout rooms ready.

524
00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:19.159
I'm excited for where these conversations are going to go tonight.

525
00:34:19.159 --> 00:34:22.199
I think it's going to be really great.

526
00:34:22.199 --> 00:34:27.500
All right.

527
00:34:27.500 --> 00:34:32.080
If you get into a room and you're sitting there for a little while and nobody's talking,

528
00:34:32.080 --> 00:34:35.199
come back to the main room and I'll move you to a different room.

529
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:39.639
And also it sometimes delay internet delay can impact people getting in there.

530
00:34:39.639 --> 00:34:40.639
So just hang out for a second.

531
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:42.480
I'll move people around if it's needed.

532
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:43.920
I'm giving you all eight minutes.

533
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:44.920
Okay.

534
00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:47.679
Go ahead and click to join those rooms for ladies that are new.

535
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:49.080
That should pop up on your screen.

536
00:34:49.080 --> 00:34:53.520
Go ahead and click to join the rooms and it'll take you automatically in there.

537
00:34:53.520 --> 00:34:56.600
Uh oh.

538
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:10.320
Bethany, could you try again? I missed the. Yeah, it's totally fine. Yep. Let me. You're

539
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:15.800
welcome. All right, let me ladies, I'm going to start to pray as soon as I make sure everybody's

540
00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:26.720
situated. I have a couple people in rooms by themselves right now. Jovita, are you able

541
00:35:26.720 --> 00:35:33.840
to go into a room just so I know? I'm thinking maybe not. Totally fine if you can't. Is it

542
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:40.280
okay if I stay back here? You can. Yeah. I mean, I love for you all to go into the breakout

543
00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:45.960
sessions if there's not a reason that you can't. Okay. Yeah, sure. I'll do it. Yeah.

544
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:49.680
I think it'll be good for you. Go ahead and go in there and then I'll have to move you

545
00:35:49.680 --> 00:35:59.200
to a different room because I just bumped the other person out. All right. Let's see.

546
00:35:59.200 --> 00:36:06.080
Is everyone else got a buddy? Okay, I'll put you into room four. That's going to be good.

547
00:36:06.080 --> 00:36:09.120
So once you go in there, I can put you into room four. Actually, I'll pop that up for

548
00:36:09.120 --> 00:36:19.900
you right now. Do you see that there? All right, I think we got Camille. Are you able

549
00:36:19.900 --> 00:36:26.240
to go into a room? Yes. Okay, awesome. Let me go. I'll just put you right with them.

550
00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:33.560
There you go. All right, Father, thank you so much for tonight. Ladies, pray for my voice.

551
00:36:33.560 --> 00:36:39.360
I don't know what's going on. I'm starting to feel a little funny in my throat. Father,

552
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:43.200
thank you so much for tonight. Thanks for everything that you're doing. God, we thank

553
00:36:43.200 --> 00:36:48.480
you for supernatural upgrades and revelation and healing. God, thank you that you would

554
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:54.520
give us a fresh revelation and insight regarding who you are, God, as love. God, that you would

555
00:36:54.520 --> 00:37:00.080
come into all the broken places and spaces in our hearts, our souls, our minds, our bodies,

556
00:37:00.080 --> 00:37:04.640
and our spirits. Lord, that you would place the balm of Gilead upon those areas where

557
00:37:04.640 --> 00:37:12.320
we thank you for, yes, Lord, healing us from the inside out and for comforting the brokenhearted

558
00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:16.280
and those who are crushed in spirit. Lord, anyone that, you know, there's just brokenness

559
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:21.880
from promises that, you know, someone made to them that they broke along the way and

560
00:37:21.880 --> 00:37:26.960
that devastated them. And, you know, even when we're kids, when someone's saying they're

561
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:31.280
going to do something, or even what came out this afternoon during the afternoon session,

562
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:39.280
some one of the ladies had saved her money as a little child for this toy that she wanted

563
00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:44.080
and gave the money to the stepfather and the stepfather never bought the toy. And so she

564
00:37:44.080 --> 00:37:49.520
had to beg for it and beg for it. And finally the mom kind of intervened and he did end

565
00:37:49.520 --> 00:37:54.480
up getting it, but he like threw it at her when he gave it to her. And so many things

566
00:37:54.520 --> 00:38:00.080
like that impact the way we see the Lord. And so I just want to pray for anyone here

567
00:38:00.080 --> 00:38:05.600
tonight that maybe a mother or a father or a stepfather or someone else that was caring

568
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:11.800
for you that they withheld something from you that's causing you to view God the same

569
00:38:11.800 --> 00:38:17.320
way that he's withholding from you, that he's angry, that he's mean or abrasive. And so Lord,

570
00:38:17.320 --> 00:38:26.200
we just thank you for, yeah, Lord, just healing broken hearts and, and these areas where parents

571
00:38:26.200 --> 00:38:32.840
and people in authority over us have withheld things just because, and Lord, how it's caused

572
00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:39.440
us to view you in ways that are not true about who you are. We just thank you, God, for opening

573
00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:44.480
the eyes of our hearts so that we could see you more clearly tonight. And I see Sarah

574
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:50.120
just joined Sarah. Hi, I can put you into breakout. They're talking right now about

575
00:38:50.120 --> 00:38:54.800
when was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting

576
00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:59.840
you today? Okay, great. I was on my phone and it just kept freezing. So I joined by

577
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:06.520
my computer. Okay. Hold on. Let me see where you, what room you were in then. Okay. Let's

578
00:39:06.520 --> 00:39:14.000
see. I think it said room 12. It might've just bumped you out when you left. Okay. Let

579
00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:18.480
me put you in there now. Okay. Thanks, Bethany. You're welcome. Thank you. And Brandy, I just

580
00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:24.720
saw that you can't unmute. I'm not sure. Maybe the way you logged in when we log in, we have

581
00:39:24.720 --> 00:39:32.480
to click to allow audio. So you can either just work on that for next week, or if you

582
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:36.640
want to log out and come back in, you can try and I'll be happy to put you in a breakout

583
00:39:36.640 --> 00:39:44.920
room if you want to try again. So we just thank you for continuing to. Yeah, I just

584
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:50.320
keep hearing to the scripture that talks about how he would hide us in the cleft of the rock.

585
00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:57.320
And so just pray for protection for anyone that's feeling just unsure God about situations

586
00:39:57.320 --> 00:39:59.920
in their life, or they're going through circumstances where they

587
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.960
need your protection and I thank you God that you do hide us under the shadow of your wings

588
00:40:03.960 --> 00:40:04.960
and in your presence.

589
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:09.680
I thank you that you hide us in the cleft of your rock when the enemy comes in like

590
00:40:09.680 --> 00:40:10.680
a flood.

591
00:40:10.680 --> 00:40:14.720
We thank you that you raise up a standard against him and I thank you God that you would

592
00:40:14.720 --> 00:40:21.240
just continue to release your divine healing oil from heaven, that it would flow down over

593
00:40:21.240 --> 00:40:27.560
our minds first and foremost, that it would transform us through that renewal that comes

594
00:40:27.560 --> 00:40:33.840
through your healing waters and your river of living waters that flows into us and through

595
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:38.200
us and brings supernatural life and healing in Jesus name.

596
00:40:38.200 --> 00:40:42.000
Hi Rhonda, they're in breakout sessions, I can put you in there.

597
00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:46.360
They're talking about when was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is

598
00:40:46.360 --> 00:40:51.400
that still affecting you today.

599
00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:54.500
So if you want to accept that, you can join the ladies for their last couple of minutes

600
00:40:54.500 --> 00:40:57.000
of conversation if you'd like.

601
00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:05.880
And so just also thinking on Beauty for Ashes scripture and just meditating on the reality

602
00:41:05.880 --> 00:41:11.280
that God can take everything that is broken, everything that's shattered and he can create

603
00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:17.080
something beautiful and powerful out of that and we just thank you God for, yeah, that

604
00:41:17.080 --> 00:41:21.480
you're just the master craftsman, that you're weaving a tapestry so beautiful.

605
00:41:21.480 --> 00:41:25.800
Like on our side of things, sometimes ladies, it looks like, you know, have you ever looked

606
00:41:25.800 --> 00:41:31.000
at a quilt, you know, on the top, the person's quilting or sewing any kind of cross stitch

607
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:32.480
or anything like that.

608
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:36.480
On the top, there's a picture, but when you flip the other side, it's just a bunch of

609
00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:40.120
yarn and, you know, all mixed up and there's no pattern.

610
00:41:40.120 --> 00:41:44.280
And sometimes when we're looking at what God is creating in our lives and doing, we're

611
00:41:44.280 --> 00:41:49.440
looking from the ups, the part that's underneath, we're looking at that, but God is, he sees

612
00:41:49.440 --> 00:41:52.360
what he's creating, he sees the masterpiece.

613
00:41:52.360 --> 00:41:57.680
And so Lord, we just thank you for helping us tonight to trust you a little bit more.

614
00:41:57.680 --> 00:42:02.840
We thank you God that as you heal our hearts and help us to understand who you are more

615
00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:11.520
and more, God, that it would help us to, yeah, Lord, that we would grow in our ability to

616
00:42:11.520 --> 00:42:17.160
take that step with you, Lord, into your presence, into your grace, that we would come out of

617
00:42:17.160 --> 00:42:24.360
alignment and agreement with any lies, that even if we take a step, Lord, that you would,

618
00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:31.640
what I'm seeing ladies is like, as the Lord would, like when someone would step out, that

619
00:42:31.640 --> 00:42:36.320
the Lord would remove the beam that they would like be about to step on.

620
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:41.080
And I feel like someone here tonight, or that might hear this replay, that's how they kind

621
00:42:41.080 --> 00:42:45.040
of view God, that he just pulls the rug out from under them.

622
00:42:45.040 --> 00:42:46.040
And that's not truth.

623
00:42:46.040 --> 00:42:50.400
So I want to encourage you and invite you into coming out of alignment and agreement

624
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:51.920
with those thoughts.

625
00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:56.960
That's the enemy who comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but God is the one who comes

626
00:42:56.960 --> 00:43:00.080
to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.

627
00:43:00.080 --> 00:43:04.640
And so he's not going to come and pull the rug out from under our feet, or, you know,

628
00:43:04.640 --> 00:43:08.480
again, trick us and like that there's nothing good that, you know, every time we get something

629
00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:11.560
good that we can never hold on to it or any of that kind of stuff.

630
00:43:11.560 --> 00:43:15.800
So we got to come out of mindsets like that and step further into his healing and his

631
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:18.120
life and his truth.

632
00:43:18.120 --> 00:43:19.120
Welcome back, ladies.

633
00:43:19.120 --> 00:43:22.920
We have like 30 seconds and then everyone will be back.

634
00:43:22.920 --> 00:43:23.920
So good.

635
00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:25.200
Tonight, God is doing some stuff.

636
00:43:25.200 --> 00:43:26.200
So I just have that.

637
00:43:26.200 --> 00:43:31.360
I'll tell you all this image I just saw as I was talking and praying.

638
00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:35.960
It was like someone was going to step and they were going to step onto this beam, but

639
00:43:35.960 --> 00:43:41.720
then their view is that God pulls the beam out.

640
00:43:41.720 --> 00:43:45.560
And what I heard was that some people actually believe that God is going to pull the rug

641
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:49.480
out from under them that, you know, that thing that they think they can stand on, that they

642
00:43:49.480 --> 00:43:53.760
can't and that God's the one doing that, but God's not the one.

643
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:59.440
The enemy is the devil is the one that prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he

644
00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:00.560
might devour.

645
00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:06.800
He's the one that tries to bring death, destruction, disease, disruption.

646
00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:09.160
God is not the one who brings those things.

647
00:44:09.160 --> 00:44:14.960
And so if we in some way have been partnering with the lie that God pulls the rug out from

648
00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:19.560
under us, we're never allowed to have a blessing every time something's going good, something

649
00:44:19.560 --> 00:44:20.560
goes bad.

650
00:44:20.560 --> 00:44:25.280
And ladies, those are limiting beliefs and mindsets that we have to not partner with

651
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:28.520
anymore in order to receive all that God has for us.

652
00:44:28.520 --> 00:44:29.520
All right.

653
00:44:29.520 --> 00:44:32.920
And so I want to encourage you in the days to come.

654
00:44:32.920 --> 00:44:39.720
If you struggle with those thoughts that you would ask God to, um, I just like got the

655
00:44:39.720 --> 00:44:43.360
thought of like, Hey, let's just pray and thank him for brain surgery because he can

656
00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:44.760
give us new mindsets.

657
00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:51.560
He can do like literal work on our mind while we sleep, while we go about our way and, uh,

658
00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:53.360
we can trust God for those things.

659
00:44:53.360 --> 00:44:55.560
All right, y'all.

660
00:44:55.560 --> 00:44:56.560
Good job.

661
00:44:56.560 --> 00:44:59.520
It sounds like some people, Hey ladies, just so you know, breakout sessions.

662
00:44:59.520 --> 00:44:59.960
It's a good.

663
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.840
practice on all for all of us, like kind of watching the time

664
00:45:04.120 --> 00:45:06.480
and making sure that you're short, brief and powerful. So

665
00:45:06.480 --> 00:45:09.360
everyone can go and it's not because I think anything

666
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:12.240
negative about what Pamela put in there. But like I remember

667
00:45:12.240 --> 00:45:15.240
being in breakouts and having to learn like to really watch

668
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:18.840
because I'm a talker y'all. I could totally talk for the whole

669
00:45:18.840 --> 00:45:23.560
time. And so just want y'all to know it can happen. But just be

670
00:45:23.560 --> 00:45:26.680
blessed with that time together. Alright, so who's willing to

671
00:45:26.680 --> 00:45:28.960
share with the whole group what you shared in your breakout

672
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:35.640
session tonight? Who's gonna be my Okay, awesome. Alexandra, go

673
00:45:35.640 --> 00:45:36.080
ahead.

674
00:45:37.160 --> 00:45:41.600
Oh, wow. I didn't expect so soon. Hello. Thank you. Um, so

675
00:45:41.800 --> 00:45:45.120
it was really cool. Like right away, the Holy Spirit throughout

676
00:45:45.120 --> 00:45:48.640
the heartwork has been just like dropping stuff. And for the

677
00:45:48.640 --> 00:45:52.400
first moment, I'm always like, is that him? So I had that he

678
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:56.920
said, like Kimberly and my brother in law. And I've been

679
00:45:56.920 --> 00:45:59.640
praying today specifically, this whole thing has been

680
00:45:59.640 --> 00:46:02.400
speaking to me tonight about just like, how am I gonna heal?

681
00:46:02.400 --> 00:46:06.680
Like, how, like, I see that I see the issues. And like, how am

682
00:46:06.680 --> 00:46:09.960
I going to heal through this stuff? And specifically

683
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.680
friendship related and really all relationship related. And so

684
00:46:16.120 --> 00:46:18.960
my best friend and my brother in law, I was in like middle

685
00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:24.080
school, and he wasn't a safe person for me to be around. Like

686
00:46:24.080 --> 00:46:28.320
he just wasn't a great guy. And you know, I was alone often with

687
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:32.960
him without my sister around and nothing thankfully happened. But

688
00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:37.000
my best friend and him like decided I had said no to

689
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:40.720
something and they were like, they decided to like talk behind

690
00:46:40.720 --> 00:46:45.680
my back. And I saw them like, conspiring something. But then

691
00:46:45.680 --> 00:46:51.200
once she left, and I was alone with him, he pants me. And then

692
00:46:51.200 --> 00:46:56.040
she, she ended up like coming back. This is a memory from a

693
00:46:56.040 --> 00:46:59.200
long time ago. But I was so hurt, because I was like, you

694
00:46:59.200 --> 00:47:02.360
guys were like, inspiring something against me. And like

695
00:47:02.360 --> 00:47:05.400
this guy is not someone who I want to pants me. And I just

696
00:47:05.400 --> 00:47:08.800
felt like so betrayed by her. And because she was supposed to

697
00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:14.120
be like my best friend. So he brought that up to me tonight.

698
00:47:14.120 --> 00:47:17.280
And I think maybe it's just a one of those things that I need

699
00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:21.920
to let God into so I can heal with all relationships and trust

700
00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:22.880
with other people.

701
00:47:24.040 --> 00:47:27.440
Yeah, yeah, that's really good. I'm so sorry to hear that

702
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:31.000
happens. So you're saying that he came and pulled your pants

703
00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:33.480
down. That's what you're expressing to us, right? Okay, I

704
00:47:33.480 --> 00:47:35.240
just want to make sure I thought that's what you meant. But I

705
00:47:35.240 --> 00:47:38.120
want to make sure I was hearing you correctly. Is this someone

706
00:47:38.120 --> 00:47:40.920
that did you stay? Were you saying also, this is your

707
00:47:40.920 --> 00:47:42.280
brother in law that did this?

708
00:47:42.800 --> 00:47:45.880
Yeah, my Yeah, my sister's husband, they were both young,

709
00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:48.840
like they're like, not that it makes it okay. But he's like,

710
00:47:48.880 --> 00:47:53.640
because he's still not a great guy. But yeah, he's like, maybe

711
00:47:53.640 --> 00:47:59.120
like 17 or 18. And I was like, 1110 or 11. And we were home

712
00:47:59.120 --> 00:48:05.480
alone. Often with him, which wasn't good. And I thankfully

713
00:48:05.520 --> 00:48:09.640
had a I had God's protection, I think in a lot of instances of

714
00:48:09.680 --> 00:48:13.360
avoiding him. But I did not want to be pants by him at all.

715
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:18.000
Yeah, is this someone so do you have to see him a lot now today?

716
00:48:18.680 --> 00:48:23.600
Yeah, when I go home, so God's taken me to Texas. And I think

717
00:48:23.600 --> 00:48:26.080
I've had some like a lot of healing being away from my

718
00:48:26.080 --> 00:48:29.920
family in California. But when I do go home, it's very stressful

719
00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:34.960
because he's around he's caused a lot of issues in the family.

720
00:48:36.720 --> 00:48:39.680
And just recently, when I was on my sister told me he wasn't

721
00:48:39.680 --> 00:48:43.360
going to be home when I went to go visit her and the family.

722
00:48:44.320 --> 00:48:48.080
And then she was like, Oh, you should come now at this time,

723
00:48:48.080 --> 00:48:50.840
because Carl isn't going to be there because she knows I'm not

724
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:54.600
like a big fan. And then like mid conversation with her. He

725
00:48:54.600 --> 00:48:58.080
like he walked in. And so I think she was a part of that as

726
00:48:58.080 --> 00:49:01.640
well. Because she she knew what he was doing. So

727
00:49:02.760 --> 00:49:08.080
okay, he's just not fun. Yeah. And so what this is causing

728
00:49:08.160 --> 00:49:12.640
on just from listening to you, this is like a perpetual

729
00:49:12.640 --> 00:49:15.520
breakdown of trust in relationships that you should be

730
00:49:15.520 --> 00:49:19.960
able to trust people, like your best friend, a brother in law,

731
00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:24.800
and now your sister. And so want to encourage you to really like

732
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:27.440
follow what the Lord is leading you. He brought this up for a

733
00:49:27.440 --> 00:49:33.560
reason. But to pray for God to surround you with people that

734
00:49:33.560 --> 00:49:36.760
you really start to know you can trust them where you're you

735
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:40.720
really feel safe, not just because you're their family, or

736
00:49:40.720 --> 00:49:43.520
there's someone that you've been friends with before, but just

737
00:49:43.520 --> 00:49:48.720
who are genuine people that you can be safe with and trust. And

738
00:49:48.720 --> 00:49:52.320
literally, so that you start to learn more about God's trust

739
00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:56.320
through them. But I believe God will also enable you spirit like

740
00:49:56.320 --> 00:49:59.960
supernaturally to experience a fresh revelation.

741
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.020
of his trust through just experiences that you're going through and to also look back

742
00:50:04.020 --> 00:50:08.500
kind of like what you're saying, like seeing how he protected you at times and, and did

743
00:50:08.500 --> 00:50:11.420
keep you from things.

744
00:50:11.420 --> 00:50:17.020
Have you ever, like, I'm assuming you've probably forgiven them for this before.

745
00:50:17.020 --> 00:50:21.940
I am just now this year diving into more forgiveness.

746
00:50:21.940 --> 00:50:23.580
And there's so many on my list.

747
00:50:23.580 --> 00:50:26.100
So I'm going to add this.

748
00:50:26.100 --> 00:50:27.100
Yeah.

749
00:50:27.100 --> 00:50:28.180
Okay, that's really good.

750
00:50:28.180 --> 00:50:33.340
And I would include the recent interaction with your sister telling you that he wasn't

751
00:50:33.340 --> 00:50:34.740
going to be home.

752
00:50:34.740 --> 00:50:40.300
And then he came home because I feel like it'd be really easy for the enemy to kind

753
00:50:40.300 --> 00:50:46.060
of compound on top of the other things you've already processed when you know, the Lord's

754
00:50:46.060 --> 00:50:47.260
wanting you to move forward.

755
00:50:47.260 --> 00:50:49.660
So let's keep short accounts as you're going.

756
00:50:49.660 --> 00:50:50.660
Does that make sense?

757
00:50:50.660 --> 00:50:51.660
Yeah.

758
00:50:51.660 --> 00:50:52.660
Yeah.

759
00:50:52.660 --> 00:50:53.660
Forgive both.

760
00:50:53.660 --> 00:50:54.660
Yep.

761
00:50:54.660 --> 00:50:55.660
Yeah.

762
00:50:55.660 --> 00:50:56.660
Thank you.

763
00:50:56.660 --> 00:50:57.660
Yeah, you're welcome.

764
00:50:58.140 --> 00:51:01.940
Are there any other things that related to him, where you haven't been able to trust

765
00:51:01.940 --> 00:51:02.940
her?

766
00:51:02.940 --> 00:51:03.940
Yeah.

767
00:51:03.940 --> 00:51:08.140
I'm wondering if I should talk to her about it, but I guess I can, I don't, I'm like,

768
00:51:08.140 --> 00:51:10.820
I was really hurt by it, but.

769
00:51:10.820 --> 00:51:17.660
I would process the forgiveness first and be praying and asking the Lord if he thinks

770
00:51:17.660 --> 00:51:19.780
you need to talk to her and he'll show you.

771
00:51:19.780 --> 00:51:20.780
Yeah.

772
00:51:20.780 --> 00:51:21.780
Yeah.

773
00:51:21.780 --> 00:51:22.780
Thank you so much.

774
00:51:22.780 --> 00:51:23.780
You're welcome.

775
00:51:23.780 --> 00:51:25.420
I appreciate you sharing that with us.

776
00:51:25.420 --> 00:51:26.420
Yeah.

777
00:51:27.140 --> 00:51:28.140
You're welcome.

778
00:51:28.140 --> 00:51:29.140
Teresa Thornton.

779
00:51:29.140 --> 00:51:30.140
Go ahead.

780
00:51:30.140 --> 00:51:31.140
Hi.

781
00:51:31.140 --> 00:51:32.140
Okay.

782
00:51:32.140 --> 00:51:44.460
So mine that I really did not remember till we talked in the group was my parents would

783
00:51:44.460 --> 00:51:49.340
say they were going to be somewhere when I was growing up and very often would make excuses

784
00:51:49.340 --> 00:51:54.740
and would not end up going, whether it be a concert or different things.

785
00:51:54.740 --> 00:51:58.340
And it's happened throughout adulthood still, it happens.

786
00:51:58.340 --> 00:52:02.660
Like if they say they're going to come visit me, I don't make plans until they're there

787
00:52:02.660 --> 00:52:05.420
kind of thing.

788
00:52:05.420 --> 00:52:11.460
And it was worse when it happened to my children because then to see their pain that that caused

789
00:52:11.460 --> 00:52:13.980
was even worse.

790
00:52:13.980 --> 00:52:19.100
And I was literally having discussions with God today, like hearing God say, do you trust

791
00:52:19.100 --> 00:52:20.100
me?

792
00:52:20.100 --> 00:52:21.100
Do you trust me?

793
00:52:21.540 --> 00:52:26.660
And I'm saying yes, but I'm like, Lord, why is there this little pellet of fear?

794
00:52:26.660 --> 00:52:29.580
Why do I have this fear packet going on?

795
00:52:29.580 --> 00:52:35.300
So I think that is something I got to work through, but yeah.

796
00:52:35.300 --> 00:52:40.580
And the reality of this is if our parents say they're going to show up and don't, then

797
00:52:40.580 --> 00:52:43.780
guess who we actually believe will do the same thing.

798
00:52:43.780 --> 00:52:44.780
Right.

799
00:52:44.780 --> 00:52:45.780
Yeah.

800
00:52:45.780 --> 00:52:48.860
You know, whether subconsciously, you know, whether we mean to or not, it's happening

801
00:52:48.860 --> 00:52:52.740
in our subconscious that it's like, okay, God, like you're saying you're going to do

802
00:52:52.740 --> 00:52:54.020
this for me.

803
00:52:54.020 --> 00:52:56.980
You're saying you're leading me, like, I'm just going to give this as an example.

804
00:52:56.980 --> 00:53:00.340
Not that you're thinking this, you're leading me into this program and I'm doing all this

805
00:53:00.340 --> 00:53:01.420
work.

806
00:53:01.420 --> 00:53:07.660
You're saying you promised me this, but can I really trust you to show up Lord?

807
00:53:07.660 --> 00:53:12.700
You know, like we, we look through that lens because that's where the pain, and especially

808
00:53:12.700 --> 00:53:16.540
like you said, like it's one thing when it happens to us, it's another thing when it

809
00:53:16.540 --> 00:53:17.900
happens to our kids.

810
00:53:17.900 --> 00:53:22.020
And we're watching them experience pain at the hands of the same thing that happened

811
00:53:22.020 --> 00:53:23.020
to us.

812
00:53:23.020 --> 00:53:27.380
And we can't, we can't, we can't always keep it from affecting them.

813
00:53:27.380 --> 00:53:28.380
Right.

814
00:53:28.380 --> 00:53:29.380
Yeah.

815
00:53:29.380 --> 00:53:34.780
And so, um, two things, uh, not only forgiving your parents with the forgiveness prayer sheet,

816
00:53:34.780 --> 00:53:40.340
you know, for yourself, but I also am hearing like where you've taken up a fence for your

817
00:53:40.340 --> 00:53:41.340
kids.

818
00:53:41.340 --> 00:53:42.340
Hmm.

819
00:53:42.340 --> 00:53:43.340
Yeah.

820
00:53:43.340 --> 00:53:46.260
You've taken up not only unforgiveness, but you've literally, literally maybe carrying

821
00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:51.860
an offense towards your parents for hurting your kids the same way.

822
00:53:51.860 --> 00:53:52.860
Yeah.

823
00:53:52.860 --> 00:54:00.460
Um, I'm curious, um, have you ever talked to your mom about this specifically your mom?

824
00:54:00.460 --> 00:54:05.220
I'm wondering, I heard, uh, like your mom's mom, did your mom's mom used to do the same

825
00:54:05.220 --> 00:54:08.620
thing?

826
00:54:08.620 --> 00:54:15.260
She, my mom's mom, my mom felt less important than her sisters, but I don't know that they

827
00:54:15.260 --> 00:54:16.260
didn't show up.

828
00:54:16.260 --> 00:54:17.340
They moved a lot.

829
00:54:17.340 --> 00:54:19.500
There was a lot of trauma in the house.

830
00:54:19.500 --> 00:54:23.540
What's the reason they give you when you, if you've ever, if they've ever like said

831
00:54:23.540 --> 00:54:25.940
they would come and didn't come, what would be the reasons?

832
00:54:25.940 --> 00:54:30.180
Um, somebody is sick or had to work late.

833
00:54:30.180 --> 00:54:33.140
It, it just, it could have been somebody needed something.

834
00:54:33.140 --> 00:54:34.140
It could be anything.

835
00:54:34.140 --> 00:54:40.220
It's just, it could be a lot of different things, but it made me feel less important

836
00:54:40.220 --> 00:54:42.100
than all of those other things.

837
00:54:42.100 --> 00:54:43.100
Right.

838
00:54:43.100 --> 00:54:44.100
Right.

839
00:54:44.100 --> 00:54:49.260
And so it's interesting that you said your mom felt less important than her sisters.

840
00:54:49.260 --> 00:54:53.180
And then what's happening is that's how you were feeling regarding the other things that

841
00:54:53.180 --> 00:54:56.420
they were doing instead of coming to see you.

842
00:54:56.420 --> 00:54:59.980
I feel like there's a pattern there potentially, and, and I'm not saying it's.

843
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.560
not with your dad too, but specifically I heard your mom's mom ask her about her mom's mom.

844
00:55:06.560 --> 00:55:12.400
And so you may, I don't know, is your mom, someone safe that you can talk to her about things like

845
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:20.560
that? I think I can now. I think so. You may want to pray about doing that. I feel like that could

846
00:55:20.560 --> 00:55:27.920
potentially open the door for you all to talk about some deeper things and there might be some

847
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:33.360
healing and know that sometimes too, like people get nervous when you start talking about stuff.

848
00:55:33.360 --> 00:55:38.560
So she might open up a little bit and then coil back, but just keep praying. And let's just maybe

849
00:55:38.560 --> 00:55:43.360
lightly see where this could go, but pray first. Do you forget, like just the same thing I just

850
00:55:43.360 --> 00:55:49.840
said to Alexander, do the forgiveness first, pray. And then just, I think there could be something

851
00:55:49.840 --> 00:55:54.400
good that could come from talking to your mom. No, I think that's, I think that's really good.

852
00:55:54.400 --> 00:56:00.160
And I had never thought about the offense I had for my children. So that's good. Thank you.

853
00:56:00.160 --> 00:56:06.800
You're welcome. Yeah. We carry a lot of baggage. When we, even our friends, if we see our friends

854
00:56:06.800 --> 00:56:12.320
going through hurt, we see our friends sick or someone we love sick. We take up offense towards

855
00:56:12.320 --> 00:56:18.880
God when people get sick, even you all, dare I say, it's such a tragedy what's happened in Texas, right?

856
00:56:19.360 --> 00:56:25.760
There's people all over the world taking up offense for those kids right now. They don't

857
00:56:25.760 --> 00:56:31.280
understand, you know, and they question, they're questioning how, like, how can God allow that,

858
00:56:31.280 --> 00:56:35.520
you know? And I don't want to feed into that tonight, but I think it's worth mentioning.

859
00:56:36.240 --> 00:56:41.120
So I want to encourage you all. I know it's hard and it's, it's just heartbreaking,

860
00:56:41.120 --> 00:56:46.560
but don't take up offense towards God because of what's happened. Remember the devil is the

861
00:56:46.720 --> 00:56:54.720
devil is the one that comes to kill, steal and destroy. Okay. This was a disaster. This was not

862
00:56:54.720 --> 00:57:01.520
God doing this to these people. Okay. All right. Teresa, thanks for sharing that with us. Appreciate

863
00:57:01.520 --> 00:57:09.840
that. Helen. Hi. Hi. How are you? I don't know what I'm going to do without you. No unhealthy

864
00:57:10.400 --> 00:57:16.000
attachment here. Y'all, this is my last, my last, what do you call this thing? Heartwork

865
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.320
break-in session, breakout session, whatever it's called. You're going to do great, but we're also

866
00:57:20.320 --> 00:57:25.280
talking about maybe, maybe opening it up where phase two people can come back for heartwork if

867
00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:29.840
they need to. So we're, we're praying and talking about that right now, but you're going to be

868
00:57:29.840 --> 00:57:35.920
amazing, but go ahead. What do you have for us tonight? Everybody. I love Bethany. So what came

869
00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:44.400
up during our breakout thing was, so you asked about broken promises, right? I went on a mission

870
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:51.760
trip in 2018 to Thailand. And I had always heard about, you know, as far as your spirit mate,

871
00:57:51.760 --> 00:57:56.240
husband, whatever thing you're going to, you're going to be like pursuing Jesus, running after

872
00:57:56.240 --> 00:58:00.720
Jesus. And you look at who's, you know, running next to you and that's the person, whatever.

873
00:58:00.960 --> 00:58:09.360
So there was this guy on the trip and there was this connection. I don't think I imagined it. I

874
00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:15.520
don't know. It was, it was there. And then he lives in a different, I don't know where he lives now,

875
00:58:15.520 --> 00:58:18.720
but he lives in a different state. I live in California. He lived in Oklahoma, but we were

876
00:58:18.720 --> 00:58:25.440
under like the same church movement, like same church leadership. And so I left Thailand before

877
00:58:25.440 --> 00:58:31.200
he did. He was there for a longer time than I was. And when I came back, there was a group

878
00:58:31.200 --> 00:58:35.200
text with everybody's number. And he had called me during the trip, like about the ministry,

879
00:58:35.200 --> 00:58:39.360
whatever. So it wasn't like I phished his number. Anyway, I texted him when I got back. I was like,

880
00:58:39.360 --> 00:58:44.720
Hey, how are you? Blah, blah, blah. And, and before I left, we had a conversation and he said,

881
00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:52.640
I would love to see you again. So I'm thinking this is like legit. So again, I waited two months

882
00:58:52.640 --> 00:59:00.000
though, cause I was afraid and of being rejected, but I did. And then his reaction was completely

883
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.880
unexpected. He was so cold. He was like, where did you get my number? And I remember thinking

884
00:59:05.600 --> 00:59:11.600
everybody has, everybody had everyone's number on the WhatsApp group. And you had called me during

885
00:59:11.600 --> 00:59:16.880
the trip. Like I never got your number from a strange place. Like we all had each other's

886
00:59:16.880 --> 00:59:22.800
number. It was such a opposite reaction from what I expected. He did say he had looked for me on

887
00:59:22.800 --> 00:59:29.680
Facebook, but I, I don't know. I didn't understand why he was so cold towards me. I did do a

888
00:59:29.680 --> 00:59:34.560
forgiveness worksheet. I had never thought about doing that. So I did do one this, you know,

889
00:59:34.560 --> 00:59:39.360
during this heartwork and I felt really, I've released him, but I guess it came back when you

890
00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:43.440
asked the question about broken promises, because there was the implication that, yeah, let's

891
00:59:43.440 --> 00:59:48.000
connect, you know, when I get back to the States, which that group did after a couple of months. So

892
00:59:48.000 --> 00:59:53.920
yeah. Yeah. And I think underlying under that Helen is what you said in the beginning.

893
00:59:55.600 --> 00:59:59.920
I think the broken promise that you feel is underlying there.

894
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.360
is that people told you that if you are serving the Lord

895
01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:07.160
and you look over and that person's serving to you,

896
01:00:07.160 --> 01:00:08.900
that's your spirit mate.

897
01:00:08.900 --> 01:00:12.200
And while like you all,

898
01:00:12.200 --> 01:00:15.040
that is something that actually helped me choose better

899
01:00:15.040 --> 01:00:18.500
this last time around, in addition to Jackie's coaching.

900
01:00:18.500 --> 01:00:21.000
It's not just that everybody, I definitely,

901
01:00:21.000 --> 01:00:23.680
there was multiple people that I went on dates with

902
01:00:23.680 --> 01:00:26.120
that were totally in ministry.

903
01:00:26.120 --> 01:00:28.220
And yeah, they were serving the Lord,

904
01:00:28.220 --> 01:00:33.100
but their spiritual DNA did not match mine, okay?

905
01:00:33.100 --> 01:00:35.740
And there were unhealthy things and flags,

906
01:00:35.740 --> 01:00:37.540
that I noticed with a couple of them.

907
01:00:37.540 --> 01:00:41.300
And so I think just the miss,

908
01:00:41.300 --> 01:00:43.860
like it's not that the teaching was totally bad,

909
01:00:43.860 --> 01:00:45.800
but maybe how it was conveyed,

910
01:00:45.800 --> 01:00:48.660
that that is for sure the person, you know?

911
01:00:48.660 --> 01:00:51.980
And so maybe just consider that

912
01:00:51.980 --> 01:00:54.760
that could be a part of the broken promise too.

913
01:00:55.900 --> 01:00:57.300
Does that make sense?

914
01:00:57.300 --> 01:00:59.700
And then the second thing with the guy,

915
01:01:01.580 --> 01:01:04.460
is there any, you didn't do anything wrong,

916
01:01:04.460 --> 01:01:08.260
but one of the things that I feel led to ask you is,

917
01:01:08.260 --> 01:01:10.340
was there any like,

918
01:01:10.340 --> 01:01:13.180
did you feel mad at yourself for calling him?

919
01:01:13.180 --> 01:01:15.460
Because the way he reacted,

920
01:01:15.460 --> 01:01:17.820
was there any, how have you felt towards yourself?

921
01:01:17.820 --> 01:01:20.740
Are you proud of yourself for putting yourself out on a,

922
01:01:20.740 --> 01:01:24.060
like out on that limb and going for it,

923
01:01:24.060 --> 01:01:25.980
even though he didn't react well,

924
01:01:25.980 --> 01:01:28.100
like have you processed that?

925
01:01:28.100 --> 01:01:29.540
Like, that's really amazing

926
01:01:29.540 --> 01:01:32.260
that you had all that courage to do that,

927
01:01:32.260 --> 01:01:35.540
even though he didn't respond in a healthy way.

928
01:01:35.540 --> 01:01:36.900
I was mad at myself,

929
01:01:36.900 --> 01:01:39.100
one, because I waited for so long

930
01:01:39.100 --> 01:01:41.580
and two, because I was so fearful.

931
01:01:41.580 --> 01:01:43.540
And one of the reasons I did reach out to him

932
01:01:43.540 --> 01:01:47.580
was my support system, my closest friends at the time,

933
01:01:47.580 --> 01:01:50.180
it's the one who had a stroke and his wife,

934
01:01:50.180 --> 01:01:53.100
but he was like, if you don't let him know,

935
01:01:53.100 --> 01:01:54.580
you never know what you're missing out on.

936
01:01:55.340 --> 01:01:57.140
And that's kind of some of the teaching,

937
01:01:57.140 --> 01:02:00.540
some of the feedback I've gotten from people,

938
01:02:00.540 --> 01:02:02.980
not just them, these are my best friends, I love them.

939
01:02:02.980 --> 01:02:04.420
They were just trying to look out for me,

940
01:02:04.420 --> 01:02:08.580
but what I heard is sometimes you have to initiate,

941
01:02:08.580 --> 01:02:10.580
sometimes you have to reach out

942
01:02:10.580 --> 01:02:12.180
because of the culture that we're in.

943
01:02:12.180 --> 01:02:14.900
We're not in the guy pursues girl

944
01:02:14.900 --> 01:02:17.420
and wears her down age anymore.

945
01:02:17.420 --> 01:02:18.260
Yes.

946
01:02:18.260 --> 01:02:21.340
You have like maybe nudge, you know, or whatever.

947
01:02:21.660 --> 01:02:26.060
And so I was like, dang, like I finally did it,

948
01:02:26.060 --> 01:02:29.300
two months of being so scared, did it,

949
01:02:29.300 --> 01:02:31.500
and then this is how he reacted.

950
01:02:31.500 --> 01:02:34.820
And so, no, I was completely mad at myself.

951
01:02:34.820 --> 01:02:36.780
I was like, and that's not the first time

952
01:02:36.780 --> 01:02:37.940
this has happened to.

953
01:02:37.940 --> 01:02:41.020
Yeah, I think that's why it's coming back up tonight.

954
01:02:41.020 --> 01:02:42.340
You didn't do anything wrong,

955
01:02:42.340 --> 01:02:45.780
but forgiving yourself in the sense of like

956
01:02:45.780 --> 01:02:49.020
not being mad at yourself, but being proud of yourself.

957
01:02:49.020 --> 01:02:50.980
Even though it took you a few months,

958
01:02:51.620 --> 01:02:52.460
you still did it.

959
01:02:52.460 --> 01:02:55.820
And a lot of people wouldn't, you know?

960
01:02:55.820 --> 01:02:58.220
And I almost forgot this afternoon,

961
01:02:58.220 --> 01:03:01.020
I started this session with celebrating your wins

962
01:03:01.020 --> 01:03:03.860
and talking to everyone a little bit about

963
01:03:03.860 --> 01:03:06.220
the importance of like, just taking some time,

964
01:03:06.220 --> 01:03:09.940
like how many of you have actually paused at some point,

965
01:03:09.940 --> 01:03:11.500
if you just started the hard work,

966
01:03:11.500 --> 01:03:13.580
go ahead and do this, you know, this week,

967
01:03:13.580 --> 01:03:16.580
but how many of you have actually like

968
01:03:16.580 --> 01:03:19.140
applauded yourself for the work that you're doing?

969
01:03:20.060 --> 01:03:22.540
Not being proud in an unhealthy way,

970
01:03:22.540 --> 01:03:25.420
but just really like being proud of yourself.

971
01:03:25.420 --> 01:03:27.500
Like you're investing in your heart healing

972
01:03:27.500 --> 01:03:31.340
in this journey that's changing your life.

973
01:03:31.340 --> 01:03:33.780
And there's some people that will never do this,

974
01:03:33.780 --> 01:03:36.660
that will never invest in themselves in this way.

975
01:03:36.660 --> 01:03:41.300
And yet we tend to partner with what isn't happening

976
01:03:41.300 --> 01:03:42.820
in our minds and our thoughts,

977
01:03:42.820 --> 01:03:44.300
and we don't celebrate our wins.

978
01:03:44.300 --> 01:03:46.500
Like, you know, so I wanna encourage you all this week

979
01:03:46.540 --> 01:03:50.020
to like, look in the mirror at yourself

980
01:03:50.020 --> 01:03:54.300
and like, literally tell yourself, I am proud of you.

981
01:03:54.300 --> 01:03:57.500
I'm proud of you for, you know, pushing forward

982
01:03:57.500 --> 01:03:59.860
and, you know, allowing God to heal,

983
01:03:59.860 --> 01:04:02.740
like whatever you need to say to yourself,

984
01:04:02.740 --> 01:04:05.700
and Helen, this might be a big thing for you.

985
01:04:05.700 --> 01:04:08.020
Like Helen, just like looking at yourself,

986
01:04:08.020 --> 01:04:10.700
Helen, I'm so proud of you for calling that guy

987
01:04:10.700 --> 01:04:13.300
and putting yourself out there.

988
01:04:13.300 --> 01:04:15.580
I forgive you for being mad at yourself.

989
01:04:15.580 --> 01:04:17.700
Like literally talking to your own self,

990
01:04:17.700 --> 01:04:19.820
but like that you're forgiving yourself

991
01:04:19.820 --> 01:04:21.140
for being mad at yourself,

992
01:04:21.140 --> 01:04:23.980
because that's like, that's actually tying you

993
01:04:23.980 --> 01:04:25.460
to that situation still.

994
01:04:26.460 --> 01:04:28.220
I still struggle too with,

995
01:04:28.220 --> 01:04:30.020
you mentioned the dangling the care thing,

996
01:04:30.020 --> 01:04:32.220
or maybe, I can't remember.

997
01:04:33.140 --> 01:04:36.220
But I've, it's something through the hard work

998
01:04:36.220 --> 01:04:37.540
it's being like dealt with,

999
01:04:37.540 --> 01:04:39.940
but I've struggled with like, God, why do you,

1000
01:04:39.940 --> 01:04:43.300
why do you bring this situations to be

1001
01:04:43.300 --> 01:04:44.420
and it doesn't work out?

1002
01:04:44.940 --> 01:04:49.500
Like, you know, like I'm serving you.

1003
01:04:49.500 --> 01:04:51.820
I'm not like, this isn't going to a bar

1004
01:04:51.820 --> 01:04:54.660
and trying to hit on guys or trying to,

1005
01:04:54.660 --> 01:04:55.500
you know what I mean?

1006
01:04:55.500 --> 01:04:58.700
It's like serving God and like traveling

1007
01:04:58.700 --> 01:05:00.140
and being on this.

1008
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.520
in all these ministries and it seems like it's going to work with somebody and it doesn't.

1009
01:05:05.520 --> 01:05:07.920
And I don't, I just don't understand. Wow.

1010
01:05:07.920 --> 01:05:15.280
Yeah. Well, here's the thing. This is going to be a shocker. I'm sure I'm teasing, but

1011
01:05:17.120 --> 01:05:20.640
not everybody that goes to church is healthy.

1012
01:05:22.160 --> 01:05:23.440
No. Yeah.

1013
01:05:24.800 --> 01:05:28.960
Not everybody. And I know it's kind of mind blowing a little bit. It is.

1014
01:05:28.960 --> 01:05:34.640
You would think that anybody that goes on a mission trip, like they're sacrificing time

1015
01:05:34.640 --> 01:05:39.840
and they're serving, they're, they gotta be healthy, right? Y'all let me just tell you a

1016
01:05:39.840 --> 01:05:44.400
story. You know, the, the girl's dad, my spiritual daughter's dad that I've told you all about

1017
01:05:44.400 --> 01:05:51.120
before cheated on me with multiple people, just lied, deceived left and right. You all

1018
01:05:51.840 --> 01:05:57.680
lived a total double life. And I'm not saying this to judge him, but y'all, he went to church

1019
01:05:57.680 --> 01:06:04.720
every week. He and I went on the same mission trip together and you all, he was so mean to

1020
01:06:04.720 --> 01:06:10.720
me on that mission trip. It was literally embarrassing. So tell me that there's not

1021
01:06:10.720 --> 01:06:14.400
unhealthy people that are going on these things, right? That's amazing that they're going and

1022
01:06:14.400 --> 01:06:18.480
they're serving. That's wonderful. But I think that's the tricky thing is that

1023
01:06:19.360 --> 01:06:25.200
unfortunately we believe that if someone is at church or on a mission trip or whatever, that

1024
01:06:26.160 --> 01:06:33.280
well, they just must be good. And that's not always the case. So I don't know anything about

1025
01:06:33.280 --> 01:06:41.600
this guy, but I can tell you that his reaction wasn't healthy. I mean, so when you, when you

1026
01:06:41.600 --> 01:06:46.720
brought up like, Hey, yeah, I just got your number from the group chat or you called me,

1027
01:06:46.720 --> 01:06:50.400
you know, when we were on the trip and I still had it, you know, like, what was his response?

1028
01:06:50.560 --> 01:06:59.520
How into that? He, he, he was just like, like, Oh, um, and I did look for you in Facebook as

1029
01:06:59.520 --> 01:07:04.160
well. So like he acknowledged, he kind of acknowledged that, Oh, right. There was the

1030
01:07:04.160 --> 01:07:10.720
group text with everybody's number. And then a few more texts him and there. And then I, I,

1031
01:07:10.720 --> 01:07:15.360
I stopped texting him cause I'm like, this, this isn't, this isn't, this is way beyond what I

1032
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:20.160
ever thought. I didn't, even though he wasn't, he may not have been interested, which again,

1033
01:07:20.160 --> 01:07:25.440
I was like taken off guard by, he's not being interested. I didn't expect an unloving, um,

1034
01:07:25.440 --> 01:07:31.200
reaction like that. I, that completely off guard. Well, I think that is a case of God defended,

1035
01:07:31.200 --> 01:07:36.160
in my opinion, in this, in this community, we talk about that a lot, you know, that, you know,

1036
01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:40.320
when things like this happen, trusting that God is defending you and protecting you from someone

1037
01:07:40.320 --> 01:07:45.040
that's not healthy, even if you can't see it. Um, so just want to encourage you to celebrate

1038
01:07:45.040 --> 01:07:49.920
your wins, look at yourself, release yourself from, you know, being upset that, you know,

1039
01:07:49.920 --> 01:07:54.240
it took two months, you know what, in the future, it might not take you that long because God's

1040
01:07:54.240 --> 01:08:00.400
helping you overcome fears and all kinds of stuff. So go ahead and let that go, forgive yourself and

1041
01:08:00.400 --> 01:08:07.040
move on. Yeah. Thank you so much. I'm excited. And I'll see you in the other phases for sure.

1042
01:08:07.040 --> 01:08:11.760
I pop in there too. You'll see me. Do you do one-on-ones real quick question?

1043
01:08:12.640 --> 01:08:18.880
Um, sometimes I do right now I am coaching a bunch of coaches, so I'm not taking any one-on-ones at

1044
01:08:18.880 --> 01:08:24.560
this time, but we do, we did release a services page where there are other people that are doing

1045
01:08:24.560 --> 01:08:30.399
one-on-ones at this time. Gotcha. Yep. Thank you. Yeah. At some point in the future, I'll do them

1046
01:08:30.399 --> 01:08:36.080
again. Um, but great, great share. Awesome. Renee. Hi.

1047
01:08:39.439 --> 01:08:47.120
Hello. Sorry. I can never find my, um, you know, it's so funny. I was on earlier today and when

1048
01:08:47.120 --> 01:08:53.279
you, I couldn't join the, the, uh, rooms, but the question I was like, Oh, I don't,

1049
01:08:53.279 --> 01:08:58.880
I can't think of any promises. So when I entered this evening, I was like, you all go ahead.

1050
01:08:58.880 --> 01:09:04.000
And Helen was in the, in with me as well. And then I thought of something, I guess I wasn't

1051
01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:09.680
thinking about it in the right context, but basically my father, um, was not married to

1052
01:09:09.680 --> 01:09:16.880
my mother. I grew up in New York and my father, he remarried and, um, had my step siblings here

1053
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:23.920
in Florida. And, um, I would visit. So he's always in my life. I always knew who my brothers and

1054
01:09:23.920 --> 01:09:28.800
sisters were. Well, there was this instance where, when I went to college, um, I didn't

1055
01:09:28.800 --> 01:09:33.040
have a vehicle and I, it was like my second year. So I asked him if he would get me a car

1056
01:09:33.040 --> 01:09:38.319
and he was like, no. Well, my sister, who's like two years younger than me had had two vehicles.

1057
01:09:39.279 --> 01:09:43.279
One, she blew the engine, the other, whatever crashed or whatever the case may be.

1058
01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:52.560
But he said no to me about the car. So I'd stopped speaking to him. I had come down to Florida. I was

1059
01:09:52.560 --> 01:09:58.000
like, um, you know, I had been talking to him about it. He was hemming and hawing. And then he

1060
01:09:58.000 --> 01:09:59.840
just, when I got here.

1061
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.560
Um, at the time I was in Baltimore and when I came down, he was like, no, I

1062
01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:05.920
can't do it, whatever.

1063
01:10:06.240 --> 01:10:07.520
And I was like, what do you mean?

1064
01:10:07.520 --> 01:10:08.280
You can't do it.

1065
01:10:08.840 --> 01:10:13.720
You know, my sister has had two cars and I have nothing and I'm in college and

1066
01:10:13.720 --> 01:10:14.720
she's still in high school.

1067
01:10:14.720 --> 01:10:16.400
What's, you know, what's going on here.

1068
01:10:16.480 --> 01:10:17.720
I need transportation.

1069
01:10:18.320 --> 01:10:24.560
So basically I left and, uh, I just stopped speaking to him and for about six

1070
01:10:24.560 --> 01:10:29.960
months and then like probably about the sixth month he sends, he's, he calls me

1071
01:10:29.960 --> 01:10:33.480
up and like, I'm going to send you a check for at least a down payment for a

1072
01:10:33.480 --> 01:10:34.120
vehicle.

1073
01:10:34.720 --> 01:10:39.360
Um, and then he sends me this check and it took a while for us to kind of start

1074
01:10:39.360 --> 01:10:40.280
talking again.

1075
01:10:41.600 --> 01:10:45.360
And I didn't initially, I was like, is this a broken promise?

1076
01:10:45.360 --> 01:10:49.080
But then I was like, it is because I mean, even though there was nothing

1077
01:10:49.120 --> 01:10:56.080
verbally said, how is it that my sister gets to get two cars and I get nothing?

1078
01:10:56.080 --> 01:10:57.960
And I told him, I said, I'm out of sight.

1079
01:10:57.960 --> 01:10:58.880
You don't see me.

1080
01:10:59.080 --> 01:11:03.840
So my siblings are getting the benefit, the financial benefit of you being there

1081
01:11:04.520 --> 01:11:05.280
and everything.

1082
01:11:05.560 --> 01:11:10.000
And I'm with a single mother who can't, she can't provide those things to me.

1083
01:11:10.680 --> 01:11:12.440
So, um, yeah.

1084
01:11:12.440 --> 01:11:15.840
And I was like, oh, we were, we, uh, a group agreed.

1085
01:11:15.880 --> 01:11:19.600
I needed to unpack that some more because, because I hadn't really thought about it.

1086
01:11:19.600 --> 01:11:24.800
I knew we kinda, you know, we, we got past it, but I won't forget it.

1087
01:11:25.560 --> 01:11:26.160
It's kind of one.

1088
01:11:28.600 --> 01:11:30.400
Let let's look at this a little bit more.

1089
01:11:30.480 --> 01:11:33.680
I think the broken promise isn't just about the car.

1090
01:11:34.440 --> 01:11:41.920
I think it's about, he didn't marry your mom and he's down with them taking care of

1091
01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:42.400
them.

1092
01:11:43.600 --> 01:11:45.560
You just said it really very clearly.

1093
01:11:45.560 --> 01:11:47.880
You said out of sight, I was out of sight.

1094
01:11:47.880 --> 01:11:48.880
You don't see me.

1095
01:11:48.880 --> 01:11:51.800
You don't kind of, they basically kind of, I'm going to riff off of that.

1096
01:11:51.800 --> 01:11:53.240
You don't see my needs.

1097
01:11:53.880 --> 01:11:54.560
I'm here.

1098
01:11:54.560 --> 01:11:55.840
They're there, you know?

1099
01:11:56.360 --> 01:12:02.280
Um, and so that got me to thinking about, okay, wait out of sight, you don't see me.

1100
01:12:02.680 --> 01:12:06.960
Well, you said right at the beginning, my father wasn't married to my mother.

1101
01:12:07.920 --> 01:12:15.400
And so, I mean, how did that feel for you as a kid, knowing that your dad didn't stay

1102
01:12:15.400 --> 01:12:16.080
with you?

1103
01:12:17.880 --> 01:12:24.920
Um, no, no, because he was around when I was young, young, he was around, uh, cause he

1104
01:12:24.920 --> 01:12:28.160
didn't get married until maybe I was five or six.

1105
01:12:28.160 --> 01:12:30.520
So he was, he was always around.

1106
01:12:31.600 --> 01:12:35.920
So I, cause he wasn't always just in Florida and I knew his family.

1107
01:12:35.920 --> 01:12:38.240
So I was always around his family up north.

1108
01:12:38.720 --> 01:12:43.560
So it wasn't, even though they weren't together, I don't think in my mind, I knew

1109
01:12:43.560 --> 01:12:47.640
they weren't together til I was a little older because he was always around.

1110
01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:49.680
Essentially, let me just say this.

1111
01:12:50.360 --> 01:12:52.680
My sister is like two years younger than me.

1112
01:12:53.280 --> 01:12:55.120
At that point, he was still with my mother.

1113
01:12:55.160 --> 01:12:59.400
So I know there was something crazy going on there, but I try not to think on those

1114
01:12:59.400 --> 01:13:03.760
things because, you know, I'm like, not my issue.

1115
01:13:04.280 --> 01:13:06.760
But I mean, maybe there is something there.

1116
01:13:06.800 --> 01:13:08.480
I hadn't really thought about it.

1117
01:13:09.560 --> 01:13:10.160
Well, okay.

1118
01:13:10.160 --> 01:13:17.080
So my next question is this, and maybe you didn't, but did you ever see your mom sad

1119
01:13:17.080 --> 01:13:21.120
or crying or upset because of anything going on with her and your dad?

1120
01:13:22.280 --> 01:13:22.800
Yes.

1121
01:13:25.400 --> 01:13:26.560
So here's the thing.

1122
01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:32.480
I think it would be good for you to look at this and I hear what you're saying.

1123
01:13:32.480 --> 01:13:37.760
You know, it wasn't your situation, but it is your situation because you were the

1124
01:13:37.760 --> 01:13:39.640
kid that was caught in the middle of it.

1125
01:13:40.800 --> 01:13:46.840
And while you can't control, you can't change that past, but you processing it

1126
01:13:46.840 --> 01:13:51.880
and actually really asking God to help you remember, how did I feel as a kid?

1127
01:13:52.520 --> 01:13:58.560
Not to get stuck in sadness, but you all, we need to know what we felt and what we

1128
01:13:58.600 --> 01:14:03.440
thought because how can we process something and heal from it if we don't even know what

1129
01:14:03.440 --> 01:14:04.080
it was?

1130
01:14:05.040 --> 01:14:05.520
Right.

1131
01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:11.680
And, and I think while, yes, it was about the car, I think God brought the car situation

1132
01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:17.680
up so that it would lead to me asking you these other questions because the car is a

1133
01:14:17.680 --> 01:14:20.440
symbol of other things underlying.

1134
01:14:20.440 --> 01:14:26.520
Cause what you said, you kept saying you got her two cars and I, I don't have anything.

1135
01:14:27.240 --> 01:14:31.360
And so right there, I'm, I, my first thought was starting to like, okay, what's going on

1136
01:14:31.360 --> 01:14:32.480
with the dynamics there?

1137
01:14:32.480 --> 01:14:34.080
Is there more attention?

1138
01:14:34.080 --> 01:14:37.840
And then I looked back at my notes and you, and when I wrote down that, when you said

1139
01:14:38.200 --> 01:14:41.640
my father wasn't married to my mother, and then you said that, okay, the other siblings

1140
01:14:41.640 --> 01:14:45.640
don't live there, you know, so you start to piece some things together and that's what

1141
01:14:45.640 --> 01:14:47.360
led me to ask you those questions.

1142
01:14:49.120 --> 01:14:49.600
Yeah.

1143
01:14:51.080 --> 01:14:51.360
Yeah.

1144
01:14:51.360 --> 01:14:55.760
I never just delved into that, their relationship.

1145
01:14:56.360 --> 01:14:59.920
Cause I felt like it wasn't, I hate to say none of my business, but.

1146
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.640
And I guess whatever transpired between them, I just see it as that's between you all that

1147
01:15:07.640 --> 01:15:11.040
has no bearing on the relationship that I want to have with my father.

1148
01:15:11.040 --> 01:15:12.040
Yeah.

1149
01:15:12.040 --> 01:15:15.560
And it doesn't have to change the way you have a relationship with your dad.

1150
01:15:15.560 --> 01:15:22.160
But I do think looking at how you felt as a kid, not having your mom and dad in a home

1151
01:15:22.160 --> 01:15:25.120
together and married.

1152
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:30.440
I mean, you basically kind of alluded to, okay, your sister's, you know, is two.

1153
01:15:30.440 --> 01:15:33.600
So you kind of knew something was going on.

1154
01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:36.720
I mean, that's a tough thing for a kid.

1155
01:15:36.720 --> 01:15:38.160
I'll give you an example.

1156
01:15:38.160 --> 01:15:44.200
My spiritual daughters, after I broke off things with their dad and was in my healing

1157
01:15:44.200 --> 01:15:47.720
process, we, she became 18 at that time.

1158
01:15:47.720 --> 01:15:54.000
And so she's growing up, you know, there's things that she's asking me and I, we would

1159
01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:57.880
talk about things that we had never talked about before, not in great depth, because,

1160
01:15:57.880 --> 01:16:01.200
you know, I don't think you got to share everything with everybody, even, even the kids.

1161
01:16:01.200 --> 01:16:06.200
But one of the things she said to me is we were at this restaurant the one night, all

1162
01:16:06.200 --> 01:16:08.320
of us together.

1163
01:16:08.320 --> 01:16:14.840
And she saw a text pop up on her dad's phone from another woman.

1164
01:16:14.840 --> 01:16:19.000
And she carried so much guilt for that.

1165
01:16:19.000 --> 01:16:21.160
Because we were all there together.

1166
01:16:21.160 --> 01:16:23.560
But yeah, he's getting text messages from another woman.

1167
01:16:24.120 --> 01:16:27.560
She saw, you know, text messages show you a little bit of what they're saying, right?

1168
01:16:27.560 --> 01:16:29.400
So she saw what it said.

1169
01:16:29.400 --> 01:16:34.240
And she was old enough at the time to know what the text meant that she saw.

1170
01:16:34.240 --> 01:16:39.240
And so there's a lot of things that kids see, and it does impact them and they carry the

1171
01:16:39.240 --> 01:16:45.120
weight of that, whether they know it or not at that moment.

1172
01:16:45.120 --> 01:16:51.080
So just given that to you for food for thought, again, it doesn't have to change your relationship

1173
01:16:51.080 --> 01:16:56.320
with your dad or, you know, mom or anybody, but I think for you to continue to be set

1174
01:16:56.320 --> 01:17:01.720
free so that you can move forward, and really be like not carrying those kinds of things

1175
01:17:01.720 --> 01:17:06.720
into relationships with other people, it'll be really, really good for you to take some

1176
01:17:06.720 --> 01:17:07.720
time with this.

1177
01:17:07.720 --> 01:17:08.720
Fair enough.

1178
01:17:08.720 --> 01:17:09.720
Okay.

1179
01:17:09.720 --> 01:17:10.720
All right.

1180
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:15.800
And if you come to the group, if you start praying about it, and the Lord starts showing

1181
01:17:15.800 --> 01:17:20.760
you things, feel free to post in the group and we can help you process that more.

1182
01:17:20.760 --> 01:17:21.760
Okay.

1183
01:17:21.760 --> 01:17:22.760
Okay.

1184
01:17:22.760 --> 01:17:23.760
Thank you.

1185
01:17:23.760 --> 01:17:24.760
Thank you for sharing.

1186
01:17:24.760 --> 01:17:25.760
Brandy, go ahead.

1187
01:17:25.760 --> 01:17:26.760
Hello.

1188
01:17:26.760 --> 01:17:27.760
Can you see me?

1189
01:17:27.760 --> 01:17:28.760
Hear me?

1190
01:17:28.760 --> 01:17:29.760
Hi.

1191
01:17:29.760 --> 01:17:35.960
I was having some mic difficulties, so I didn't get to do the breakout group.

1192
01:17:35.960 --> 01:17:41.600
But right as I was trying to sort that out, I had asked, you know, God, the question you

1193
01:17:41.600 --> 01:17:43.320
mentioned.

1194
01:17:43.320 --> 01:17:48.720
And the first thought was, well, your dad, because he lived on the opposite side of the

1195
01:17:48.720 --> 01:17:51.280
nation while I was a child.

1196
01:17:51.280 --> 01:17:52.280
And so I thought it was that.

1197
01:17:52.280 --> 01:17:56.160
But then I said, No, God, I don't want to, because you said, Hey, wait, really ask God.

1198
01:17:56.160 --> 01:17:58.400
So I went back again.

1199
01:17:58.400 --> 01:18:03.960
And God shared, it was actually my mom, because growing up, my mom really struggles with alcoholism.

1200
01:18:03.960 --> 01:18:08.640
And she would make promises that she's going to be clean and sober, she's gonna, you know,

1201
01:18:08.640 --> 01:18:12.720
do all the things that parents ideally would do.

1202
01:18:12.720 --> 01:18:18.840
And then she took until I was well into my adult life to like, achieve sobriety, which

1203
01:18:18.840 --> 01:18:19.840
is great.

1204
01:18:19.840 --> 01:18:21.840
And we have a great relationship, or we're working on it now.

1205
01:18:21.840 --> 01:18:28.720
But there was a lot of broken promises in my childhood around my mom.

1206
01:18:28.720 --> 01:18:32.200
And you know, that resulted in like, me and my sisters went to foster care and all that

1207
01:18:32.200 --> 01:18:35.260
stuff for a little bit, too.

1208
01:18:35.260 --> 01:18:39.260
But I think like, that's a relief to just know, like, that's the root or the beginning

1209
01:18:39.260 --> 01:18:43.060
of where I found this.

1210
01:18:43.060 --> 01:18:45.100
And I did a forgiveness sheet for my dad already.

1211
01:18:45.100 --> 01:18:49.620
But I realized from today, just kind of talking through this, that I need to do one for my

1212
01:18:49.620 --> 01:18:52.300
mom and maybe pray over that a little bit.

1213
01:18:52.300 --> 01:18:53.980
Yeah, totally.

1214
01:18:53.980 --> 01:18:59.540
And you know what, you're the first person to bring this kind of promise up, you know,

1215
01:18:59.540 --> 01:19:05.260
with a parent that struggles or has struggled, excuse me, with addiction, and then promising

1216
01:19:05.260 --> 01:19:09.540
to get clean and then, you know, not.

1217
01:19:09.540 --> 01:19:13.300
And so I'm really thankful that you shared that, because it brings a whole nother layer

1218
01:19:13.300 --> 01:19:18.020
to this conversation tonight, you know.

1219
01:19:18.020 --> 01:19:25.140
Even I think of mental health issues that people are, you know, a lot more it's diagnosed

1220
01:19:25.140 --> 01:19:30.620
today, but, you know, some people that would not get themselves the help that they needed,

1221
01:19:30.620 --> 01:19:33.760
and it was impacting their kids and their families.

1222
01:19:33.760 --> 01:19:40.380
And so yeah, definitely encourage you to do the forgiveness prayer sheet for that stuff

1223
01:19:40.380 --> 01:19:41.380
with your mom.

1224
01:19:41.380 --> 01:19:47.620
And then I also just like, I'm curious, I feel like to ask you a question.

1225
01:19:47.620 --> 01:19:51.140
So when that was all happening, and you said there was you and your sister, are you the

1226
01:19:51.140 --> 01:19:52.140
older sister?

1227
01:19:53.140 --> 01:19:54.140
I'm the middle.

1228
01:19:54.140 --> 01:19:56.140
So I have an older and younger sister.

1229
01:19:56.140 --> 01:19:57.140
Okay.

1230
01:19:57.140 --> 01:19:59.140
And so when mom was...

1231
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:10.320
um when mom was maybe not doing well who was taking care of who um well my older sister

1232
01:20:11.120 --> 01:20:16.960
has kind of been like i've worked really hard in my adult life not to treat her like a

1233
01:20:16.960 --> 01:20:23.600
mini mom you know a lot of times all the siblings kind of get that role um so i've been very

1234
01:20:23.600 --> 01:20:28.720
conscious of that in adulthood and trying to have better boundaries with that but it was probably

1235
01:20:28.720 --> 01:20:34.240
my older sister in a lot of ways or just me a lot of times just sorting it out on my own

1236
01:20:35.600 --> 01:20:40.640
okay because that's what that specifically came up in my spirit too is something you might want to

1237
01:20:41.200 --> 01:20:48.880
look into um so i don't know if i specifically had the impression that you helped take care of

1238
01:20:48.880 --> 01:20:54.720
some things and so i don't know if there's something where you kind of the connection

1239
01:20:54.720 --> 01:21:01.600
that's happening in my spirit as i'm talking to you is like um maybe a broken promise could also

1240
01:21:01.600 --> 01:21:07.120
be ladies when there's something that we really wanted to go do but we couldn't because we had

1241
01:21:07.120 --> 01:21:12.480
to take care of responsibilities at home that our parents weren't taking care of and so while that's

1242
01:21:12.480 --> 01:21:17.360
not a broken promise per se but if that's something we really wanted or i mean it could

1243
01:21:17.360 --> 01:21:21.840
have even been something that we were involved in at school but then we couldn't show up for that

1244
01:21:22.480 --> 01:21:28.720
you know and so technically when we if we gave our word to something but then couldn't show up

1245
01:21:28.720 --> 01:21:34.480
to it because of something our parents did we're breaking a promise and we're breaking our word but

1246
01:21:34.480 --> 01:21:40.880
it's actually because of someone else do y'all see how this works um but that can wear away at us as

1247
01:21:40.880 --> 01:21:49.360
as children and teenagers when because we you know we are the ones that have to basically pay for that

1248
01:21:49.360 --> 01:21:54.480
essentially or feel embarrassment or whatever the case may be and so i don't know if that

1249
01:21:54.480 --> 01:22:03.520
happened for you but that definitely um yeah okay yeah it actually came up quite a bit not getting

1250
01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:10.720
to do activities i would sign up for specifically and um wanting certain things like i really wanted

1251
01:22:10.720 --> 01:22:17.360
braces as a kid and then like my mom was never able to really take me yeah um so just these

1252
01:22:17.360 --> 01:22:23.040
moments where you know the things that were tied to the promise weren't fulfilled or i had to go

1253
01:22:23.040 --> 01:22:28.480
like clean it up myself it was like oh well i couldn't make it something came up because you

1254
01:22:28.480 --> 01:22:35.200
know it's rather embarrassing for a young person to say well my mom wasn't feeling well so yeah

1255
01:22:35.200 --> 01:22:42.080
well yeah and a lot of times with uh i had uh just so you know so my dad was an addict and so i have

1256
01:22:42.080 --> 01:22:47.760
a lot of understanding of things you're sharing uh you know we often don't want anybody to know

1257
01:22:49.600 --> 01:22:55.120
you know it's such an embarrassment that we go through as children on a lot of levels at least

1258
01:22:55.120 --> 01:22:59.840
for me not that that's how you felt but for me i didn't want anyone to know what was going on in

1259
01:22:59.840 --> 01:23:07.280
our house um and so there were things you know that i had to process in regards to like what

1260
01:23:07.280 --> 01:23:14.240
you're saying like even things that we needed health-wise like you know thankfully my my dad's

1261
01:23:14.240 --> 01:23:19.280
parents like pitched in and took us to the dentist the i really believe to this day the reason that

1262
01:23:19.280 --> 01:23:24.320
we have that i have even helped somewhat healthy teeth is because my grandparents took us to the

1263
01:23:24.320 --> 01:23:31.520
dentist and they paid for all that you know but um i want to encourage you to really uh lean into

1264
01:23:31.520 --> 01:23:38.320
this area where even these activities or things that you actually needed wanted them but you

1265
01:23:38.320 --> 01:23:43.360
needed them like i'm sure you were okay but some kids really need braces so i don't know what your

1266
01:23:43.360 --> 01:23:48.960
teeth were like when you were younger um but the reason i think this is so important is because

1267
01:23:49.600 --> 01:23:57.440
you just said something really really important for your own life here you said if you know i

1268
01:23:57.440 --> 01:24:04.960
basically had to go clean it up myself and so i wonder do you struggle with thoughts like

1269
01:24:04.960 --> 01:24:09.840
i have to do this myself if it's going to get taken care of like today in your life

1270
01:24:11.120 --> 01:24:16.720
yeah i mean since you know finding a great relationship with god like i've really surrendered

1271
01:24:16.720 --> 01:24:21.680
quite a bit of that but i still have to be mindful of it so i know there's still some growth to be

1272
01:24:21.680 --> 01:24:30.800
done but definitely up until like you know finding god at the level i have um it's been

1273
01:24:31.760 --> 01:24:39.680
interesting but yeah i would say most of my life yeah yeah so the wanting braces and not getting

1274
01:24:39.680 --> 01:24:45.520
them and things like that just make sure you're praying and forgiving your mom uh and maybe even

1275
01:24:45.520 --> 01:24:52.880
your dad for that too um because they both could have helped you with that um because that can

1276
01:24:52.880 --> 01:24:59.520
impact your view of god today as well okay yeah so ladies do you see how there's so many layers to

1277
01:24:59.520 --> 01:24:59.760
stuff

1278
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.040
There's so many layers that we just need to unpack. And this is why heart work is so important.

1279
01:25:05.040 --> 01:25:10.400
Okay. So my next lovely lady, please tell me how to say your first name. Cause I don't want to mess

1280
01:25:10.400 --> 01:25:20.320
it up. Sure. It's like, okay. Yes. I think you read my mail though. I was not going to talk about

1281
01:25:20.720 --> 01:25:30.960
uh, my mom. Um, but yeah, my mom's been like, she's, my parents got divorced when I was 14.

1282
01:25:31.760 --> 01:25:40.560
Um, but my mom at that point was suicidal and I kind of, um, intervened.

1283
01:25:41.920 --> 01:25:45.840
So we wouldn't be taken like to foster care or something. Cause that was like the first thing

1284
01:25:45.840 --> 01:25:54.240
that popped in my mind. Um, because it was, she had like several attempts and, um,

1285
01:25:55.680 --> 01:26:01.200
and then she would like snap out of it. Right. Um, but yeah, many times she was out of it

1286
01:26:01.200 --> 01:26:08.720
completely. And, um, and I had to, I was the oldest, so I had to take care of my siblings

1287
01:26:08.720 --> 01:26:18.480
who were younger. Um, and yeah, I think a lot of things that I had to, um, I had to drop off.

1288
01:26:19.040 --> 01:26:27.280
Um, later when I was 26 is kind of already older, but I, um, dropped ministry school because I

1289
01:26:27.280 --> 01:26:34.320
moved out of state and, um, she, every time I would call her, she would tell me that she wanted

1290
01:26:34.320 --> 01:26:44.000
to, um, that she wanted to commit suicide. So, um, I think I even heard this message by a chaplain

1291
01:26:44.000 --> 01:26:49.440
that said that sometimes people that wanted to commit suicide would tell their family members

1292
01:26:49.440 --> 01:26:57.680
and they didn't believe them. So, um, I think that was, and I just ran out of money and felt like,

1293
01:26:58.640 --> 01:27:08.560
like I had to come back, um, to Texas, but that was, I think I, I felt a big resentment for a

1294
01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:14.320
while for having to come back. Yeah. I can imagine. I'm so sorry that you went through all that,

1295
01:27:15.360 --> 01:27:22.720
um, having to intervene for your parent that is talking about suicide and that's a big burden

1296
01:27:22.720 --> 01:27:28.400
to carry. And I'm confident that that was breaking God's heart for you too, you know?

1297
01:27:29.120 --> 01:27:33.280
And so as you're continuing through this journey, even though you've, you know,

1298
01:27:33.280 --> 01:27:37.200
processed some forgiveness before, I just want to encourage you to go ahead and be open to,

1299
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:42.640
I was telling the ladies today in the afternoon session, just reminding them of the word that I,

1300
01:27:42.640 --> 01:27:48.960
that God gave me for our prophetic ministry night at the end of June. And it was that he was going

1301
01:27:48.960 --> 01:27:55.440
to remove, and this, this word was over our whole community for the month of July, basically the next

1302
01:27:55.440 --> 01:27:59.920
month from the night it was released and in the days to come for sure, but that God was going to

1303
01:27:59.920 --> 01:28:06.080
remove band-aids. And in that process, he was going to lovingly come in and go deep into the

1304
01:28:06.080 --> 01:28:13.840
inner, like inner areas and start stitching up things. And so I want you all to understand that

1305
01:28:13.840 --> 01:28:20.080
that is God's heart. Like he's wanting to come into the places that, you know, we did our best

1306
01:28:20.080 --> 01:28:26.080
in the past to kind of bandage things up and keep moving, but that bandage isn't serving us well,

1307
01:28:26.080 --> 01:28:31.600
because that wound is still unhealed under there. And so he's removing the bandage because

1308
01:28:32.640 --> 01:28:37.440
he wants to come in and actually do the repair work that will enable us to heal

1309
01:28:38.320 --> 01:28:46.640
supernaturally from the inside out. And so, you know, just continuing to process forgiveness

1310
01:28:46.640 --> 01:28:52.400
through the forgiveness prayer sheets towards your mom, and maybe even, you know, I'm not sure if you

1311
01:28:52.400 --> 01:28:57.200
ever felt this way, but a lot of times when, when older children have to take care of younger

1312
01:28:57.200 --> 01:29:02.480
children, they resent the younger kids. And so if there's any kind of resentment or unforgiveness

1313
01:29:02.480 --> 01:29:07.520
for having to take care of the younger siblings, you may want to process that out as well.

1314
01:29:08.080 --> 01:29:13.680
And then the last thing I wanted to say to you is that I 100% believe that God can

1315
01:29:15.040 --> 01:29:23.040
redeem and restore the time that was lost for you in all of that. So the having to leave ministry

1316
01:29:23.040 --> 01:29:33.680
school, putting your life on hold to any degree, and really allowing God to come in and bring life

1317
01:29:33.680 --> 01:29:40.800
and bring truth and that he can come in. And it's not like we will forget that it happened to us,

1318
01:29:40.800 --> 01:29:46.640
but we will be in a place where the pain, it just will feel like it never happened.

1319
01:29:47.040 --> 01:29:51.840
Does that make sense? Like we'll know that it happened. We won't forget that stuff, but the

1320
01:29:51.840 --> 01:29:58.400
pain, the sting of death, you know, that comes from these situations will continue to be removed.

1321
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.880
and taken out. Um, and so we're going to be praying for you. Um,

1322
01:30:05.520 --> 01:30:10.520
you know, I'm just curious, um, do you have daughters? Do you have children?

1323
01:30:11.280 --> 01:30:14.120
Children? Okay. Okay. All right. Well,

1324
01:30:14.120 --> 01:30:18.220
go ahead and start praying now that that would not fall follow through to

1325
01:30:18.220 --> 01:30:21.200
generations. You know, you don't have to be afraid of it,

1326
01:30:21.200 --> 01:30:22.880
but just be aware of it. Uh,

1327
01:30:22.880 --> 01:30:27.520
and the reason I say that is my grandfather on my mom's side actually did

1328
01:30:27.520 --> 01:30:28.640
commit suicide.

1329
01:30:29.000 --> 01:30:33.600
And so when I became a believer and started learning some of the dynamics of

1330
01:30:33.600 --> 01:30:36.560
generational curses, there's also generational blessings.

1331
01:30:36.560 --> 01:30:38.800
And so you can pray, you know,

1332
01:30:38.800 --> 01:30:42.920
for God to protect you and any children or grant, you know, anything,

1333
01:30:42.920 --> 01:30:45.440
anybody that would be connected to you in any way,

1334
01:30:45.720 --> 01:30:49.240
even if you don't want to have kids, I don't know what your desire is there,

1335
01:30:49.480 --> 01:30:54.480
but that just the blessings would follow you all the days of your life.

1336
01:30:54.960 --> 01:30:59.400
I have a uterine fibroids and I just had a, a UFE.

1337
01:30:59.760 --> 01:31:02.800
So I'm going to go back to the doctor and see how I'm doing.

1338
01:31:03.400 --> 01:31:05.120
Okay. Well, and that's okay.

1339
01:31:05.280 --> 01:31:09.840
I think the key is just the blessings are going to surround you and can also

1340
01:31:09.840 --> 01:31:12.840
surround your children, but you want to partner with that.

1341
01:31:12.880 --> 01:31:16.760
You want to start praying into that and partnering with that. Um, because,

1342
01:31:16.800 --> 01:31:20.840
you know, suicide is also like all the thoughts that people have like that.

1343
01:31:20.840 --> 01:31:24.000
Those are spirits. Those are spirits that are,

1344
01:31:24.680 --> 01:31:29.440
um, tormenting people. Um, and it is mental health. You know,

1345
01:31:29.440 --> 01:31:32.280
I know there's a tricky line there, but I just,

1346
01:31:32.760 --> 01:31:36.720
it is stuff that the enemy's doing to assault, but.

1347
01:31:37.040 --> 01:31:41.840
She still has her moments that she does, um, say things and,

1348
01:31:41.840 --> 01:31:45.240
you know, they don't make any sense. And, um,

1349
01:31:46.320 --> 01:31:51.320
you know, she will not, she doesn't want to get treatment.

1350
01:31:51.920 --> 01:31:56.640
Yeah, that's okay. I know that's, I mean, it's not okay. Ultimately,

1351
01:31:56.640 --> 01:31:59.680
of course we would believe for healing and you know what, Hey,

1352
01:31:59.880 --> 01:32:02.480
let's just start praying for her now. What is your mom's name?

1353
01:32:03.320 --> 01:32:06.640
Uh, Maria Magdalena Jimenez.

1354
01:32:08.240 --> 01:32:12.720
Okay. So tonight before we log out, we're going to pray for Maria.

1355
01:32:13.000 --> 01:32:13.400
I'm not,

1356
01:32:13.400 --> 01:32:15.840
I'm probably not going to say her whole name cause I might mess it up,

1357
01:32:15.840 --> 01:32:20.160
but God knows who she is. We're going to pray. I believe that, you know,

1358
01:32:20.600 --> 01:32:22.840
God can meet people anywhere.

1359
01:32:23.760 --> 01:32:28.680
He can meet them in the depths of their situation and change that around.

1360
01:32:29.160 --> 01:32:33.080
Um, let me give the activation and then, um,

1361
01:32:33.120 --> 01:32:36.600
just in case if anybody needs to jump off and then Kim, I will let you share,

1362
01:32:36.600 --> 01:32:40.360
but I won't be able to take anyone else after Kim tonight. Okay.

1363
01:32:40.360 --> 01:32:43.680
So the activations for this week, ladies is called.

1364
01:32:43.760 --> 01:32:47.400
Never will I ever you're never will I ever list.

1365
01:32:47.760 --> 01:32:50.280
So you're going to work on making a list. Okay.

1366
01:32:51.320 --> 01:32:53.920
And I'm going to explain to you what I mean by never will I ever,

1367
01:32:55.440 --> 01:32:59.600
never will I ever date blank, fill in the blank.

1368
01:33:00.000 --> 01:33:02.080
Why won't you date them? Okay.

1369
01:33:02.080 --> 01:33:05.440
So I'm going to give you some more information and examples. No, this,

1370
01:33:05.480 --> 01:33:09.760
these are often trauma informed statements and vows that we've made internally

1371
01:33:09.760 --> 01:33:13.680
that you're going to need to come out of alignment with in order to continue to

1372
01:33:13.680 --> 01:33:17.120
heal and step into everything that God has for you.

1373
01:33:17.120 --> 01:33:21.880
These can also come from our preferences or unhealthy heart postures.

1374
01:33:21.960 --> 01:33:25.520
These are not typically God non-negotiables. Okay.

1375
01:33:25.680 --> 01:33:29.240
We do encourage you to have God non-negotiables. So like, for example,

1376
01:33:29.720 --> 01:33:34.280
that someone would love Jesus live for him fully,

1377
01:33:34.280 --> 01:33:35.600
not just with words,

1378
01:33:35.600 --> 01:33:38.800
but in their actions that they would walk in all the fruits of the spirit.

1379
01:33:39.000 --> 01:33:42.920
I hope that is one of your God non-negotiables. Okay. Um,

1380
01:33:42.920 --> 01:33:45.760
Oh, sorry. I was just seeing something in the chat there. Um,

1381
01:33:45.800 --> 01:33:50.120
and so here are some examples that we have heard and there's so many more,

1382
01:33:50.120 --> 01:33:54.360
but these are just a few to kind of get you thinking never will I ever date a

1383
01:33:54.360 --> 01:33:56.160
man who's been divorced.

1384
01:33:57.080 --> 01:33:59.520
Never will I ever date a man who has kids.

1385
01:34:00.080 --> 01:34:03.600
Never will I ever date a man who doesn't have a lot of money.

1386
01:34:04.280 --> 01:34:08.360
Never will I ever date someone I'm not sexually attracted to.

1387
01:34:08.360 --> 01:34:12.960
Never will I ever, um, date a pastor or someone that's in ministry.

1388
01:34:13.400 --> 01:34:17.800
Never will I ever date someone that's been in the military or a police officer.

1389
01:34:18.120 --> 01:34:23.120
Maybe it's this never will I ever date a man named John or Mark or whatever

1390
01:34:23.120 --> 01:34:27.960
their name might be because somebody that you dated or married had that name

1391
01:34:27.960 --> 01:34:30.200
and they hurt you. We don't, what if,

1392
01:34:30.240 --> 01:34:35.240
what if God sends your spirit to someone who's not sexually attracted to you?

1393
01:34:35.680 --> 01:34:36.640
We don't. What if,

1394
01:34:36.640 --> 01:34:41.080
what if God sends your spirit mate and their name is John or Mark,

1395
01:34:41.960 --> 01:34:44.960
right? All right. I used to have something like that.

1396
01:34:45.000 --> 01:34:47.680
My oldest brother, who was my main offender,

1397
01:34:47.920 --> 01:34:51.680
he was one of the biggest perpetrators in the sexual abuse. His name is Brian.

1398
01:34:52.480 --> 01:34:55.800
Y'all better believe I had that conversation with the Lord when he sent me,

1399
01:34:55.800 --> 01:34:59.280
Brian, my now husband, like, Lord,

1400
01:34:59.760 --> 01:35:00.600
couldn't.

1401
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.420
You have sent me some, like him with a different name.

1402
01:35:04.180 --> 01:35:05.860
Like, how am I going to handle this?

1403
01:35:05.860 --> 01:35:09.200
You know, I had to surrender that pen because Brian's amazing.

1404
01:35:09.200 --> 01:35:12.240
My husband, Brian, and you know what?

1405
01:35:12.500 --> 01:35:14.860
God used him to redeem that name for me.

1406
01:35:15.480 --> 01:35:17.460
So just want to put that out there.

1407
01:35:17.520 --> 01:35:18.720
God can redeem a name.

1408
01:35:19.020 --> 01:35:19.460
All right.

1409
01:35:19.740 --> 01:35:26.340
So I want to give you an example also about, uh, maybe yours is never, well, I

1410
01:35:26.340 --> 01:35:29.340
did, uh, someone that is of a certain age.

1411
01:35:29.380 --> 01:35:29.820
Okay.

1412
01:35:30.600 --> 01:35:34.660
And we're not going to get into dating coaching around age stuff tonight.

1413
01:35:34.680 --> 01:35:37.180
You guys will learn a lot more about that.

1414
01:35:37.400 --> 01:35:41.280
What our recommendations are, um, when you get into phase two and

1415
01:35:41.280 --> 01:35:43.480
beyond, uh, that love story accelerator.

1416
01:35:43.480 --> 01:35:45.480
But I want to give you an example.

1417
01:35:45.480 --> 01:35:51.560
This woman, um, she was married before and her ex was 14 years older than her.

1418
01:35:52.040 --> 01:35:57.560
So when they went through the pain of what they went through, she decided

1419
01:35:57.560 --> 01:36:00.880
she was never going to marry someone that was her senior anymore.

1420
01:36:00.880 --> 01:36:03.560
That was that, you know, much older than her.

1421
01:36:04.640 --> 01:36:07.840
Well, all these years later, she's gone through heartwork and all this

1422
01:36:07.840 --> 01:36:10.200
stuff and, and she's in community.

1423
01:36:10.200 --> 01:36:13.160
She has some good friends and her good friends are trying to hook her

1424
01:36:13.160 --> 01:36:15.160
up with, like, to connect with this guy.

1425
01:36:16.360 --> 01:36:19.960
And she had kind of met him at some of the church things and things that they

1426
01:36:19.960 --> 01:36:21.640
were going to this group of friends.

1427
01:36:22.000 --> 01:36:27.160
And she said, he did seem nice, but she said, I remember thinking he's too old for me.

1428
01:36:28.480 --> 01:36:30.760
He thought she was nice too.

1429
01:36:30.760 --> 01:36:32.720
And she was pretty and all this stuff.

1430
01:36:32.720 --> 01:36:33.840
But guess what he was saying?

1431
01:36:33.880 --> 01:36:35.200
She's too young for me.

1432
01:36:36.040 --> 01:36:42.600
Well, you all, after about a year, they were around each other a lot,

1433
01:36:43.040 --> 01:36:45.240
really enjoyed each other's company.

1434
01:36:45.360 --> 01:36:48.920
They weren't just hanging out solo, but just, they were in these group environments.

1435
01:36:49.360 --> 01:36:56.080
Uh, then they went to this dance and they started realizing that I think

1436
01:36:56.080 --> 01:36:57.760
I like being around this person.

1437
01:36:58.200 --> 01:37:02.920
And so guess what they both had to surrender and, and move off of

1438
01:37:02.920 --> 01:37:07.960
their never will I ever list the age stuff and you all they're married.

1439
01:37:07.960 --> 01:37:11.360
Now they just got married in March and God is blessing their

1440
01:37:11.360 --> 01:37:12.400
relationship in their life.

1441
01:37:12.760 --> 01:37:15.600
I'm not saying to you that God's going to ask you to marry someone.

1442
01:37:15.600 --> 01:37:17.960
That's a lot older than you are a lot younger than you.

1443
01:37:18.360 --> 01:37:21.160
But what I am saying is that God wants us to be open.

1444
01:37:21.520 --> 01:37:22.000
Okay.

1445
01:37:22.800 --> 01:37:26.240
Are we willing to be open to who he sends us?

1446
01:37:28.400 --> 01:37:32.560
No, actually we have a lot of women that try to date men way younger than them.

1447
01:37:33.800 --> 01:37:35.600
And so we don't actually encourage that.

1448
01:37:35.600 --> 01:37:39.200
But y'all, there are going to be some people that, that you're, you're going

1449
01:37:39.200 --> 01:37:41.480
to be the one that's not the standard.

1450
01:37:41.480 --> 01:37:42.600
Does that make sense?

1451
01:37:43.440 --> 01:37:46.040
God might lead you to someone because that's what you

1452
01:37:46.040 --> 01:37:48.600
need for different reasons.

1453
01:37:49.120 --> 01:37:49.560
All right.

1454
01:37:49.680 --> 01:37:51.480
So I want you to write your list.

1455
01:37:51.480 --> 01:37:52.880
Now, let me say this.

1456
01:37:55.080 --> 01:37:58.080
You do not have to write on this list.

1457
01:37:58.120 --> 01:38:00.200
Never will I date someone that's abusive?

1458
01:38:01.360 --> 01:38:03.720
We don't want you to date someone that's abusive.

1459
01:38:03.760 --> 01:38:07.920
So yeah, hopefully that is within you somewhere, but that's not what

1460
01:38:07.920 --> 01:38:09.280
we're looking for on this list.

1461
01:38:09.640 --> 01:38:14.200
You don't have to say never will I ever date someone that's an, a current addict.

1462
01:38:15.000 --> 01:38:20.440
Now, if yours is never will I ever date an addict like anyone that's ever been an

1463
01:38:20.440 --> 01:38:24.400
addict, maybe that's something you need to work through, right?

1464
01:38:25.000 --> 01:38:25.360
Okay.

1465
01:38:25.840 --> 01:38:26.120
All right.

1466
01:38:26.120 --> 01:38:31.400
So create your list, put them in the group for us, and then you all will be surprised.

1467
01:38:31.440 --> 01:38:34.560
You might get some heart healing out of just this list alone.

1468
01:38:34.800 --> 01:38:36.800
If you're willing to put that in there for us and we'll give

1469
01:38:36.800 --> 01:38:37.960
you some feedback on that.

1470
01:38:38.360 --> 01:38:38.760
All right.

1471
01:38:38.760 --> 01:38:42.680
So if you need to hop off, I understand, but I'm going to go ahead and let Kim

1472
01:38:42.720 --> 01:38:48.560
share, and then after I give some feedback to her, I'll pray us out for the night.

1473
01:38:49.240 --> 01:38:52.640
I actually just raised my hand because Jessica Quinn wanted to say something

1474
01:38:52.640 --> 01:38:53.880
and she didn't know how to raise her hand.

1475
01:38:53.880 --> 01:38:54.680
So that's for Jessica.

1476
01:38:55.240 --> 01:38:55.960
All right.

1477
01:38:55.960 --> 01:38:57.120
Jessica Quinn.

1478
01:38:58.080 --> 01:38:59.840
Look at your sisters looking out for you.

1479
01:38:59.840 --> 01:39:00.560
I love it.

1480
01:39:00.600 --> 01:39:01.760
Jessica, go ahead.

1481
01:39:01.960 --> 01:39:03.280
Do you know how to unmute yourself?

1482
01:39:07.560 --> 01:39:08.200
Okay.

1483
01:39:08.320 --> 01:39:08.880
Sorry.

1484
01:39:09.280 --> 01:39:09.840
It's all right.

1485
01:39:09.960 --> 01:39:10.240
Okay.

1486
01:39:10.240 --> 01:39:11.880
Let me, let me not check savvy.

1487
01:39:12.080 --> 01:39:12.640
It's all right.

1488
01:39:12.760 --> 01:39:13.480
Just so y'all know.

1489
01:39:13.480 --> 01:39:18.320
So if you hover over the bottom of your screen on your phone or your laptop,

1490
01:39:18.840 --> 01:39:21.640
there, it shows up a couple of different ways.

1491
01:39:21.640 --> 01:39:25.080
For me, the raise hand is right there because I've used it before, but you

1492
01:39:25.080 --> 01:39:30.040
might see a button that says reactions or more, and when you click on

1493
01:39:30.040 --> 01:39:31.320
more, it might be there for you.

1494
01:39:31.400 --> 01:39:33.080
It's totally fine that you didn't know how to do it.

1495
01:39:33.120 --> 01:39:37.200
If y'all ever do struggle with that, I do try to watch the chat as much as

1496
01:39:37.200 --> 01:39:40.720
I can when I'm coaching, but just let me know, but I would love

1497
01:39:40.720 --> 01:39:41.640
to hear what you have to say.

1498
01:39:42.760 --> 01:39:43.280
Literally.

1499
01:39:43.280 --> 01:39:47.000
I looked and I can, I can see every other emoji, but a raised hand.

1500
01:39:47.000 --> 01:39:50.480
So I don't know what the problem is, but thank you, Kim.

1501
01:39:50.480 --> 01:39:52.600
I so super appreciate it.

1502
01:39:53.160 --> 01:39:57.280
Can I tell you real quick before I had this problem for two weeks and that

1503
01:39:57.280 --> 01:40:00.000
y'all probably got sick of me because I couldn't figure out, I.

1504
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.600
figured out if I do this on my screen it starts figuring it out and then it holds my hand up for

1505
01:40:05.600 --> 01:40:13.440
me. That's the only way I can do it. Oh my gosh. Okay there you go. Awesome. That's awesome.

1506
01:40:16.880 --> 01:40:24.400
Can you hear me? Yes. Okay so I wasn't going to share this my first time but

1507
01:40:25.280 --> 01:40:32.400
I thought it was interesting that not one person shared about a spouse and kind of the most

1508
01:40:32.400 --> 01:40:40.400
important promise that those of us who have been married have received and most important and

1509
01:40:40.400 --> 01:40:50.640
damaging one when it's broken for various things but for me it was the promise to be faithful and

1510
01:40:50.640 --> 01:40:56.800
the promise you know better for worse all of that and my situation was that I

1511
01:41:00.160 --> 01:41:09.920
was married for a very long time. Married in 1996. 12 years ago my husband left almost exactly to

1512
01:41:09.920 --> 01:41:20.160
the day and I just believed that God would restore and walked through that and I clearly there were

1513
01:41:20.160 --> 01:41:27.840
we both you know did things wrong and all that and I believed for a really long time

1514
01:41:28.560 --> 01:41:36.000
so we didn't actually get divorced until about two and a half years ago although you know that

1515
01:41:36.000 --> 01:41:40.720
was just a long process for me and I'd been on my own for or with my three kids for a long time

1516
01:41:41.760 --> 01:41:48.000
but what I realized after the breakouts when we were back in here just in what I've done a lot

1517
01:41:48.000 --> 01:41:59.200
of healing I still kind of grieve the you know the kind of perfect family idea that I had you

1518
01:41:59.200 --> 01:42:03.600
know with my kids and just all the things that we kind of lost there and that really honestly

1519
01:42:03.600 --> 01:42:15.040
more than anything what my kids lost because they were 9 11 and 13 when he left and the hardest

1520
01:42:15.040 --> 01:42:21.360
thing is to watch your kids you know not have that so anyway that was really hard but what I

1521
01:42:21.360 --> 01:42:29.280
realized once we were all talking in the way that that it still affects me today and I realized just

1522
01:42:29.280 --> 01:42:38.000
in the going towards the future is the fear of that happening again right just trusting

1523
01:42:38.800 --> 01:42:42.480
because you do trust that you're going to go into a marriage and you're going to make those promises

1524
01:42:43.120 --> 01:42:47.440
but when you've walked through it and when you've really done everything you could

1525
01:42:48.000 --> 01:42:56.960
and you were still powerless because it's somebody else's decision that's that's a hard thing so I've

1526
01:42:56.960 --> 01:43:06.480
not gone to that point of I've done very little dating and not long enough to get to that point

1527
01:43:06.480 --> 01:43:11.840
but like imagining getting to that point of like okay I'm gonna have to make this decision to to

1528
01:43:11.840 --> 01:43:20.400
trust so I want you to get there before you meet the person honestly because and some of that will

1529
01:43:20.400 --> 01:43:24.720
happen as you're in relationship hurt in relationship healed in relationship it's very

1530
01:43:24.720 --> 01:43:33.520
real and you know I think one of the biggest things too here is I just was reading something

1531
01:43:33.520 --> 01:43:41.520
the other day that most women even after they get married internally want their husbands to

1532
01:43:42.160 --> 01:43:47.360
tell them again how much they're you know so glad to be with them basically that recommitment

1533
01:43:47.920 --> 01:43:55.920
that they're not going to leave and I was telling Brian uh yeah like yeah this is true especially

1534
01:43:55.920 --> 01:44:06.400
because my dad left you know my dad left my um ex-husband you know while he uh like came home

1535
01:44:06.400 --> 01:44:13.520
most of the time sometimes he didn't but like there was a lot of neglect so he emotionally

1536
01:44:13.520 --> 01:44:21.280
left the marriage and there was just all kinds of stuff and so um even though Brian is super safe

1537
01:44:21.280 --> 01:44:28.800
and I know I can trust him internally like one day I had a bad day and I then I started I felt

1538
01:44:28.800 --> 01:44:37.120
like found myself having fear that he didn't like me and he'd leave but that's not true it's just

1539
01:44:37.120 --> 01:44:42.560
like the enemy was trying to push on old wounds you see and so it's important to process like

1540
01:44:42.560 --> 01:44:48.000
you know forgiving him for leaving uh kind of similar to what I was talking to um

1541
01:44:48.080 --> 01:44:53.600
Teresa Thornton about actually about the offense for her kids I think that also applies here for

1542
01:44:53.600 --> 01:45:06.560
you um yeah you know really choosing to forgive him for leaving is a big part of it and it's

1543
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.520
for you, but also forgiving him for the offense and the, the pain of what you watched your kids

1544
01:45:05.520 --> 01:45:11.440
go through. And even the, the pain of the idea of that, that perfect quote unquote, you know,

1545
01:45:11.440 --> 01:45:18.480
family and marriage and, and whatnot, um, and really releasing him from any chains and bonds

1546
01:45:18.480 --> 01:45:28.240
that you've put on him. Um, the other thing is also, uh, I'm just curious. Um, are there any,

1547
01:45:28.240 --> 01:45:32.160
I mean, you've done a lot of healing, you've done a lot of processing, you've had time,

1548
01:45:32.160 --> 01:45:36.400
but I'm just curious, are there any lies that you still battle regarding?

1549
01:45:38.080 --> 01:45:43.760
Like him leaving of not enough, you know, any of that kind of stuff that's still hanging out.

1550
01:45:48.080 --> 01:45:55.760
I don't think I am as far as him leaving. Um, there are, there are things that I battle now.

1551
01:45:55.760 --> 01:46:01.360
It's been so long, just as far as insecurities and things like that. Uh, they may have some

1552
01:46:01.360 --> 01:46:07.440
root in it. Um, and I've walked through really deep forgiveness where I actually am part of a

1553
01:46:07.440 --> 01:46:12.720
ministry that one of the biggest things we do is walk people through forgiveness. So I'm very

1554
01:46:12.720 --> 01:46:20.080
familiar. I do that regularly. Um, but I also know that there's still grief and things like that. And

1555
01:46:20.080 --> 01:46:25.520
I, I don't feel it on a regular basis, but yeah, when we're talking about it, that's like the thing

1556
01:46:25.520 --> 01:46:33.440
that comes up right in, in the memory. But, um, but what I have not done is walked into the new,

1557
01:46:34.960 --> 01:46:40.960
I don't know how I'll react in a new situation when I'm faced with that. And I can imagine it

1558
01:46:40.960 --> 01:46:47.920
is something that, um, would try to creep up. Oh, for sure. Yeah. It's probably going to try

1559
01:46:47.920 --> 01:46:51.840
to rear its head pretty early for you. So just be prepared. You don't have to be afraid of it,

1560
01:46:51.840 --> 01:46:58.720
but you just need to mentally process and heal enough. Um, so that you're ready to face it.

1561
01:46:58.720 --> 01:47:02.880
You might even want to start putting things up now, just writing it on like an index card or

1562
01:47:02.880 --> 01:47:07.200
a piece of paper and hanging it up where you're seeing it often, where it's just speaking the

1563
01:47:07.200 --> 01:47:12.880
truth to you about God's plans for you. And, you know, again, kind of what I was talking about

1564
01:47:12.880 --> 01:47:18.320
earlier, fear of that happening again. Well, if we have fear about something, well, then there's

1565
01:47:18.320 --> 01:47:24.240
more love of God that we can receive so that that would push that fear out because ultimately

1566
01:47:26.800 --> 01:47:33.760
if we're in God, then again, it kind of goes back to that being surrounded by his unfailing love.

1567
01:47:34.960 --> 01:47:41.360
Yeah. You know, um, hurt people, hurt people. Unfortunately, it sounds like he was in a place

1568
01:47:41.440 --> 01:47:50.160
where, um, he was hurting and was not capable of coming in and remaining in that relationship,

1569
01:47:50.160 --> 01:47:54.560
maybe even from his past. I don't know if his family stayed together or if they weren't,

1570
01:47:54.560 --> 01:47:59.760
but he might've been repeating some kind of cycle there. Um, I do want to kind of touch real quick

1571
01:47:59.760 --> 01:48:05.760
before we close tonight. You mentioned what you battle. Now you said more than other things is

1572
01:48:05.760 --> 01:48:11.920
insecurities. So can you tell us one, like, give us an example of an insecurity that, um,

1573
01:48:11.920 --> 01:48:20.400
might struggle with. Um, I've been dealing with a lot of insecurities regarding like my looks,

1574
01:48:20.400 --> 01:48:29.040
my weight, I I'm 50 years old, pretty much menopausal, all the things that we go through.

1575
01:48:29.040 --> 01:48:35.520
And, um, you know, when, when he left, I was real skinny and cute and, you know,

1576
01:48:35.520 --> 01:48:43.280
all these things. And so now I'm facing this with like feeling, um, yeah, just insecure about myself.

1577
01:48:44.160 --> 01:48:50.000
Hey, well, I am going to be praying and believing for God to really come in and just continue to

1578
01:48:50.000 --> 01:48:56.160
heal you in ways where you actually start to see the beauty in who you are, like inside and out,

1579
01:48:56.160 --> 01:49:01.680
including your body. Um, but also what can happen ladies is when we start to heal and have hope for

1580
01:49:01.680 --> 01:49:07.040
a relationship again, um, or even maybe for the first time for some of you, things are going to

1581
01:49:07.040 --> 01:49:13.440
come alive in you and you're going to want to, um, most likely this happened, doesn't happen

1582
01:49:13.440 --> 01:49:18.080
for everyone, but you're going to want to maybe start, you know, getting out there,

1583
01:49:18.080 --> 01:49:24.400
taking better care of yourself, you know, really allowing yourself to, um, you know,

1584
01:49:24.400 --> 01:49:29.520
go get a new shirt. Mom that takes care of three kids on her own probably didn't do that very often.

1585
01:49:29.520 --> 01:49:34.560
Right. And maybe, maybe you do like to shop, but some people when they're in that situation,

1586
01:49:35.120 --> 01:49:40.480
they put themselves last a lot. And so in this new season, I'm going to encourage you to really

1587
01:49:40.480 --> 01:49:45.520
invest in, actually, I'm giving you this assignment. I want you to pray about, uh,

1588
01:49:45.520 --> 01:49:52.560
going shopping and finding a new dress. I've been wearing dresses lately. I changed into jammy

1589
01:49:52.560 --> 01:49:59.840
clothes, but I do have to dress up for work. So this is like a date dress. Yeah. Okay. Not a word.

1590
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:03.920
dress, a date dress, you're not going to wear right now because

1591
01:50:03.920 --> 01:50:07.360
you're in a heartwork. But when you get into the next season,

1592
01:50:07.560 --> 01:50:11.560
and the next phase, I want you to already like start preparing

1593
01:50:11.600 --> 01:50:15.240
to, you know, maybe you can wear that out when you go out with

1594
01:50:15.240 --> 01:50:17.760
some girlfriends, but just really getting back into the

1595
01:50:17.760 --> 01:50:22.320
groove of like, you know, I got mojo, I can do this, you know,

1596
01:50:23.040 --> 01:50:26.480
because guess what your spirit mate is going to see you and

1597
01:50:26.480 --> 01:50:28.800
they're going to know they found a good thing, Jessica.

1598
01:50:30.440 --> 01:50:34.960
Okay, thank you. You're welcome. That's Proverbs 1822, by the

1599
01:50:34.960 --> 01:50:39.720
way. Okay, our men's group, that's what we have them

1600
01:50:39.720 --> 01:50:44.760
standing on, ladies. All right. Your spirit mate, when they find

1601
01:50:44.760 --> 01:50:49.080
you that they will know they found a good thing. I'm going to

1602
01:50:49.080 --> 01:50:51.800
pray for us and close this out. Father, thank you so much for

1603
01:50:51.800 --> 01:50:56.640
everything tonight. God, thanks for man just being a good dad.

1604
01:50:57.480 --> 01:51:01.800
Thanks for reminding us of who you are. Help us to come out of

1605
01:51:01.800 --> 01:51:05.680
alignment with any lies and thoughts that we have that don't

1606
01:51:05.960 --> 01:51:09.600
look like or sound like you God where the enemies come in and

1607
01:51:09.600 --> 01:51:12.240
he's tried to kill steal and destroy and he's tried to lie to

1608
01:51:12.240 --> 01:51:16.880
us and convince us that you're a trickster that you're bad that

1609
01:51:16.880 --> 01:51:19.160
you withhold things from us that you're going to pull rugs out

1610
01:51:19.160 --> 01:51:22.120
from under us God that you won't come through for us or whatever

1611
01:51:22.120 --> 01:51:26.080
the scenarios are God we thank you for renewing us in our minds

1612
01:51:26.080 --> 01:51:30.000
that you again Lord just that you would wash over us tonight

1613
01:51:30.000 --> 01:51:32.560
even while we're sleeping that you would give us sailor rest

1614
01:51:32.560 --> 01:51:35.800
that we would wake up refreshed for the day tomorrow. God, we

1615
01:51:35.800 --> 01:51:39.880
thank you for, again, bringing things out of darkness into the

1616
01:51:39.880 --> 01:51:44.440
light so that we can be healed and restored and made new. God,

1617
01:51:44.440 --> 01:51:45.640
I thank you for

1618
01:51:47.560 --> 01:51:53.000
Zio's mom, Maria, we thank you God. You see all the situations

1619
01:51:53.000 --> 01:51:55.120
that have been going on for years regarding our mental

1620
01:51:55.160 --> 01:51:57.600
health and the struggle that she's had with depression and

1621
01:51:57.600 --> 01:52:01.440
suicide. And so many other things that are kind of going on

1622
01:52:01.440 --> 01:52:04.040
there, Lord, we just ask you to meet her right where she's at

1623
01:52:04.040 --> 01:52:07.760
and deliver her God that you would set her free from any kind

1624
01:52:07.760 --> 01:52:12.880
of spirits of suicide, death, depression, God, and we just

1625
01:52:12.880 --> 01:52:16.400
declare and bind those and break those in Jesus name and declare

1626
01:52:16.400 --> 01:52:20.720
and loose a spirit of healing a spirit of peace, a spirit of us

1627
01:52:21.400 --> 01:52:25.560
love and of a sound mind that that would come into Maria, God,

1628
01:52:25.560 --> 01:52:30.000
we thank you that you would meet her and reveal yourself to her

1629
01:52:30.000 --> 01:52:32.800
through your loving kindnesses that you would lead her to you,

1630
01:52:33.480 --> 01:52:36.760
Jesus, and that Jesus, you would then lead her to the Father. And

1631
01:52:36.760 --> 01:52:39.360
so we thank you, Holy Spirit, that you're working in our life,

1632
01:52:39.720 --> 01:52:42.400
and that you're working in this family. And we thank you, God,

1633
01:52:42.400 --> 01:52:45.840
for turnaround spirits, just like, you know, you came in that

1634
01:52:45.840 --> 01:52:48.880
Paul of Damascus, and he was someone who used to persecute

1635
01:52:48.880 --> 01:52:51.920
the church, and then he encountered him. And then you

1636
01:52:51.920 --> 01:52:55.120
literally, like, literally, he was transformed. God, we believe

1637
01:52:55.120 --> 01:52:59.080
that not only for our own lives, but for Maria, God, do what you

1638
01:52:59.080 --> 01:53:01.520
do best. We thank you for deliverance and healing and

1639
01:53:01.520 --> 01:53:05.760
resurrection power being manifest in this, this amazing

1640
01:53:05.760 --> 01:53:09.600
woman that you created in your image, God, so we ask you to

1641
01:53:09.600 --> 01:53:13.560
help her to even call out to you, and that she would come to

1642
01:53:13.560 --> 01:53:16.080
know you Jesus as her Lord and Savior, if she doesn't already

1643
01:53:16.080 --> 01:53:18.960
know you in that way. And we just thank you for all the work

1644
01:53:18.960 --> 01:53:22.480
that you're doing in all of our lives. God, do it again, do it

1645
01:53:22.480 --> 01:53:25.320
again, just all the things that you do so well, just do it

1646
01:53:25.320 --> 01:53:31.440
again. In Jesus name. Amen. God is good. Yes, it's good. Keep

1647
01:53:31.440 --> 01:53:35.280
clinging to that. Okay. I'll see you on the groups. And no, you

1648
01:53:35.280 --> 01:53:37.760
can post anything in there. We're going to see on the

1649
01:53:37.760 --> 01:53:40.200
groups. We'll answer you as quick as we can. And we're

1650
01:53:40.200 --> 01:53:43.000
praying for you and love you all very much. Have a good night,

1651
01:53:43.000 --> 01:53:46.240
everyone. Good night, y'all.