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Hello, friends, and welcome to June's installment of, June, July's installment of Love Story.

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You guys, that is how fast this year has gone by, it's crazy, right?

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I'm so excited, let's go ahead and do a little bit of housekeeping.

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I'm excited for all of us that want to be part of this halftime shift, and we're going

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to be doing that session on the 17th of this month, and so if you want to be part of that

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halftime shift, we're going to go ahead and launch into that on the 17th, so that's a

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Thursday.

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Very excited about what we're going to make plans to do, and so just to kind of give you

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a little bit of an idea, we're going to show you how to make a plan to succeed at something,

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whatever it is that God's been putting on your heart that you can succeed at, right?

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Don't tell me that you want to finish your master's degree, that you haven't even gone

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to college one day in your life by the end of the year, okay?

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Let's be a little realistic.

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We want the super on our natural, but our natural has to, you know, be within the boundaries

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of that happening, and whatever that thing is, whether it's you want to move, you want

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to get a new job, a better job, you want to, obviously, all of you want to get married,

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and if that's the case, you can make that as your plan, obviously, all of you want that,

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but make sure that that's the Jenga piece that God is highlighting, because remember,

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God can make happen for you in a moment what you could never make happen for yourself in

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six months, six years, 60 years, 600 years, and so you have to make sure that that's the

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right thing in your life.

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Obviously, all of you are here to work on yourself and your life and get into alignment.

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You know, we call it preparing, positioning, and partnering with God in your love life,

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and that's really important, but there may be something that is actually a prerequisite

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to you meeting the person.

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Possibly that job that you're in has been what's been keeping you out of your love story.

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How could that be?

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Well, let's think of a couple reasons.

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If you work a lot of hours, if you have absolutely no emotional or social bandwidth after you're

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done with your job, you don't have any free time, your job's far away, you spend so much

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time commuting, not that you couldn't meet someone, but think about it.

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Even if you did meet someone, where would you fit them in?

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Where would you fit in building a new relationship if you have a job that's literally a 24-7?

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And you're unhappy as well, so just your demeanor, your attitude in life could be really truly

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being affected by that.

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Also, maybe you're going to meet your person as a result of a new job.

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Maybe you just don't like your job.

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None of those things are true.

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You're not overworked, you don't overcommute, but possibly some sort of relocation.

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Remember that word is still valid that God gave to me for you and all the single nation,

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and that is relocation, relocation, relocation.

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Some is geography relocation, some is church community relocation, some is job relocation,

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and so possibly that's a word that you felt in your heart, but you haven't been obedient

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to.

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A lot of times we don't move on what God tells us to do because we just are tired.

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We think it's going to be really hard, and can I tell you something?

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It is going to be hard if you wait until there's no grace on it to do it, but when there's

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grace on something to do it, it doesn't matter how hard it seems.

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When there's grace on it, there's like heavens backing you up, right?

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There's wind in your sails.

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For some of you, you have had a word from the Lord for a while, and you just have not

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executed, and I think that's most of us.

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Most of us have had a word.

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A lot of you, a lot of you, a lot of you have had a word about your health, and it's time

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to turn that ship around, you guys.

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That's what the Lord spoke to me about my health.

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He said, Jackie, it's time to turn that ship around, this ship, this ship around.

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I just turned 50 years old, and I've let some things get really out of hand.

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I got my blood test results back.

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I went to the doctor, the functional doctor, hormone doctor, doctor, to look at them, and

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you guys, I'm on the wrong road in lots of areas, okay?

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I have prediabetes.

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I feel led to do this.

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We were going to do love seats, and we're going to do love seats, but because only one

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person volunteered, I'm just going to go ahead and go after this for a second.

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I have prediabetes.

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I'm 48 pounds overweight.

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A lot of you haven't ever seen me in person, so you just see my head, and my head is cute.

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It's true.

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She's cute, okay?

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But the rest of her, she's tall.

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She's tall, so she can carry it well,

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but the rest of her is suffering, okay?

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Suffering.

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Because of what?

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Because of COVID.

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A lot of people lost weight in COVID.

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A lot of people gained a lot of weight in COVID.

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Because of isolation.

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At the same time, my mom passed away.

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My mom passed away, and then three weeks later, COVID hit.

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So she passed away.

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I was grieving, COVID hit.

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And then also on top of that, menopause.

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Perimenopause and menopause, okay?

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And gentlemen, you guys have menopause as well.

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You do.

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We don't call it menopause,

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but we should because the word men is in there.

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Maybe that should be your word and not our word.

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But I will tell you one thing, ladies.

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When you hit menopause, your give a damn's gonna be busted.

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You're gonna have some attitude issues

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that you didn't have before,

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and you might need to put the men on pause

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until you get yourself right again.

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Because you're not gonna put up with much.

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You're not gonna put up with much for very long,

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that's for sure, okay?

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And so not that that's a bad thing,

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but also it's not really a great thing

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for a new relationship.

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Because everyone has stuff they're working on.

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But guys have it too.

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They have really low testosterone.

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Can I tell you, I don't think that David would care,

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but David also got his blood test done.

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David also went to the doctor yesterday,

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and he got a pellet in his butt.

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Got a little pellet of testosterone.

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They make a little slit, and they stick it in your booty.

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It actually is kind of your upper hip.

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So it's your upper buttock.

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And they stick it in there,

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and then apparently it releases testosterone

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over the course of the next four months.

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My husband always goes the most extreme measures.

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I mean, I'm like, okay, all right, give me a lozenge.

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Give me some cream.

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I'll just like dip my little toe in the pool,

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and he's like, let's go.

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He's like, what else do you have for me?

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Got some GLP-1s, what do you got?

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I'll take it all, anything you have.

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There are two different types of personalities

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when it comes to health stuff.

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There are me, and there's him.

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Which one are you?

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Are you a Jackie or a David?

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I wanna see you in the chat.

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I research everything.

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I research my research.

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And he's just like, you put it in his hand,

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he'll pop it in his mouth.

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No questions asked.

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Which one are you?

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I just think this is fun.

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Are you a Jackie or a David?

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So many of you guys are Davids.

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And then of course there's Jackies in the house.

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But you guys, I just wanna let you know

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for all of you that are Jackies,

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that the Lord just let me know,

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hey, I need you to move faster on this.

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I need you just to trust me.

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I need you to trust me.

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I've obviously researched these doctors,

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but if you go to a doctor because you research them,

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you also gotta do what they tell you to do.

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Not all doctors are great, that's true.

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And don't go to those doctors.

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Make sure that you research your doctors.

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And I go to a functional doctor

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that believes in the things I believe in

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and that are up on all the cutting edge things

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that they need to know about.

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But when you actually hire someone to help you,

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listen to them.

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Whether it's me as your dating coach,

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whether it's a trainer in the gym,

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whether it's your doctor,

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because if you don't trust them,

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then you should be going to someone that you trust, right?

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So my insulin's high.

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It's not as high.

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David is insulin resistant.

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I'm not.

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I'm not yet.

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Yet, you guys.

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Gotta turn the ship around, all right?

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I'm like two points over, three points over

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where I should be with my blood sugar,

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so I'm considered pre-diabetic.

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What else?

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All kinds of my numbers.

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My thyroid numbers are wonky.

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They're not terrible, but they're headed that way.

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I don't have any thyroid symptoms

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besides the weight gain.

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I don't have the cold feet and the missing eyebrows

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and the hair loss and all that stuff,

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but it's headed the wrong direction.

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And so many of you, that was your word from the Lord.

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God gave me this word at least a year ago

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that it's time to really focus on my health.

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It doesn't matter if we get you a love story

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if you're not alive to live it out.

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And there are some things that are even worse

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than death, friends,

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and that's being incapacitated on Earth.

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Being able to have to watch,

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you know, not being able to participate,

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but just watching from a distance

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while other people do things

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that you've always wanted to do

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because you don't have the energy,

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you don't have the mobility.

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Every one of you in this group,

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without any exceptions,

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every one of you are at the age

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where you should be strength training.

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You should be lifting weights, okay?

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I'm two days into lifting weights.

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Now, granted, I did start before,

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but then I stopped.

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And maybe that's what your six month,

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your half time.

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your halftime show looks like,

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maybe your halftime show,

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your halftime shift looks like you getting back

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in the saddle and riding that baby.

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You have to stay consistent.

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You have to get up and you gotta keep going.

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Yeah, it's hard.

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Anything worth having is not easy.

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But once again, there will be grace for you if you do it.

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So, so many of you,

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God has been talking to you about your health.

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He's been talking to you about your health.

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He has.

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For others of you,

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he's been talking to you about your wealth.

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He's been talking to you about that big debt,

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that big, you don't have a nest egg,

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you have a debt egg.

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You have a big debt egg.

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It's like a snowball rolling down the hill

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and getting bigger and bigger and bigger

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and bigger and bigger and bigger.

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And I know you don't wanna face it.

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None of us wanna face this stuff.

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I don't wanna face the extra 48.

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Now listen, if I lost 48 pounds,

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I'm tall.

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I think I would be a twig.

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Okay, because that means that I would weigh

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like 150 pounds and I'm 5'10".

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I probably haven't weighed 150 pounds since I was like 12.

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So, don't think it's a great idea to weigh 150 pounds.

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To give you kind of an idea,

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when I'm a size 12 now, when I was a size six,

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I weighed like 175 pounds.

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And at 175 pounds, I'm already a size six.

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So, probably not.

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Probably not a good idea for me to lose 48 pounds,

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but they're just going by the charts.

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Guys, I got fat trying to grow around my organs.

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I got the visceral fat.

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You don't want the visceral fat.

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If you have never done one of those little in-body scans

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where you hold on to the thing

252
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and you feel the electricity go through your body

253
00:11:48.800 --> 00:11:50.280
and it's like measuring your bone

254
00:11:50.280 --> 00:11:52.840
and your skeletal mass and your fat mass,

255
00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:54.000
you should do that.

256
00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.200
A lot of health food stores,

257
00:11:56.200 --> 00:11:58.800
a lot of like nutrition stores, they have those.

258
00:11:58.800 --> 00:12:02.360
And they will actually let you do it for free even,

259
00:12:02.360 --> 00:12:04.720
as long as you let them tell you

260
00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:06.320
all the supplements that you need.

261
00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:07.520
You don't have to buy the supplements,

262
00:12:07.520 --> 00:12:09.680
but they're gonna tell you about all the supplements

263
00:12:09.680 --> 00:12:11.800
that you should take after you do that test.

264
00:12:11.800 --> 00:12:13.920
Some people's gyms have them.

265
00:12:13.920 --> 00:12:16.040
Yes, that yucky brown fat is bad.

266
00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:17.720
We don't want the brown fat.

267
00:12:17.720 --> 00:12:20.720
Okay, so enough about me.

268
00:12:21.640 --> 00:12:23.700
Let's talk more about you.

269
00:12:24.380 --> 00:12:25.220
Some of you have a lot of debt.

270
00:12:25.220 --> 00:12:27.060
I'm debt-free, I don't have any debt.

271
00:12:27.060 --> 00:12:29.420
You might have debt, and I used to have debt.

272
00:12:29.420 --> 00:12:30.900
I never really had a lot of debt

273
00:12:30.900 --> 00:12:33.900
because I've never been a credit card person,

274
00:12:33.900 --> 00:12:36.420
but you might have a lot of debt.

275
00:12:36.420 --> 00:12:38.980
Maybe you lived on credit cards at a hard time in your life

276
00:12:38.980 --> 00:12:40.140
and now you have that debt.

277
00:12:40.140 --> 00:12:41.640
Maybe you still have school loans

278
00:12:41.640 --> 00:12:44.140
from a bazillion years ago that you haven't paid off

279
00:12:44.140 --> 00:12:46.100
and they're not getting forgiven, y'all.

280
00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:47.920
I know we would have loved to have that happen,

281
00:12:47.920 --> 00:12:50.540
but it didn't, and it's probably not going to.

282
00:12:50.540 --> 00:12:51.660
And so you gotta pay them.

283
00:12:51.660 --> 00:12:53.900
It's time to pay the piper,

284
00:12:53.900 --> 00:12:55.820
and God can help you do it quickly

285
00:12:55.820 --> 00:12:58.240
if you will be focused on doing it.

286
00:12:58.240 --> 00:12:59.080
What else?

287
00:13:00.420 --> 00:13:02.300
Some of you may have gone into debt,

288
00:13:02.300 --> 00:13:05.300
had a bankruptcy because of a divorce, right?

289
00:13:05.300 --> 00:13:06.740
That happens, that happened to David.

290
00:13:06.740 --> 00:13:08.360
David had a bunch of debt.

291
00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:11.240
Guys, how do you think I felt when I married my husband

292
00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:13.020
and he's like, oh, by the way, I have this debt?

293
00:13:13.020 --> 00:13:14.860
And I'm like, okay, but it's not just his debt.

294
00:13:14.860 --> 00:13:16.700
It's him and his former wife's debt.

295
00:13:16.700 --> 00:13:18.340
And do you think that she was paying on it?

296
00:13:18.340 --> 00:13:19.500
Oh, heck no.

297
00:13:19.500 --> 00:13:21.100
She wasn't paying on it.

298
00:13:21.100 --> 00:13:24.020
And so every year when I filed my tax returns,

299
00:13:24.020 --> 00:13:27.340
and this is when we were poor little full-time ministers,

300
00:13:27.340 --> 00:13:29.660
that little tax return never got sent back to me

301
00:13:29.660 --> 00:13:33.320
because they took it to pay him and his wife's old debt.

302
00:13:34.300 --> 00:13:38.140
The IRS took it to pay him and his wife's old tax debt.

303
00:13:38.140 --> 00:13:39.900
Do you think I was happy about that?

304
00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:43.220
I want a new couch.

305
00:13:44.540 --> 00:13:46.700
Back then was a full-time minister

306
00:13:46.700 --> 00:13:48.660
just waiting for that tax return to come

307
00:13:48.660 --> 00:13:53.660
so that we can go to the ground round, buy a new couch.

308
00:13:57.300 --> 00:13:59.080
Some of you are like the ground round.

309
00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:00.980
Does anyone remember the ground round?

310
00:14:01.900 --> 00:14:02.740
Okay.

311
00:14:04.060 --> 00:14:04.900
Oh my gosh, okay.

312
00:14:04.900 --> 00:14:06.660
So because of the community event

313
00:14:06.660 --> 00:14:08.480
and I'm preaching at you guys,

314
00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:10.320
let's just have a little fun right here.

315
00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:14.060
I want you to put in the chat the name of a restaurant

316
00:14:14.060 --> 00:14:15.740
or a store that no longer exists,

317
00:14:15.740 --> 00:14:17.940
but will really tell people a lot about you.

318
00:14:18.780 --> 00:14:20.420
Because it'll tell people where you lived.

319
00:14:20.420 --> 00:14:21.260
I'll start.

320
00:14:21.260 --> 00:14:23.260
I said ground round, I'll say Gold Circle.

321
00:14:23.260 --> 00:14:25.700
Does anyone remember Gold Circle?

322
00:14:25.700 --> 00:14:26.820
If you don't remember Gold Circle,

323
00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:28.540
then you probably didn't live in Cleveland, Ohio.

324
00:14:28.540 --> 00:14:29.940
So go ahead and put something up.

325
00:14:29.940 --> 00:14:31.660
I see Zeller's, I see Woolworth's.

326
00:14:31.660 --> 00:14:32.700
Oh gosh, I remember Woolworth's.

327
00:14:32.700 --> 00:14:35.160
You guys remember when it had the soda fountain,

328
00:14:35.160 --> 00:14:36.340
the counter at Woolworth's?

329
00:14:36.340 --> 00:14:40.380
You could go and get an ice cream, a shake.

330
00:14:40.380 --> 00:14:42.060
I loved Woolworth's when I was a kid.

331
00:14:42.060 --> 00:14:46.260
Zare's, Howard Johnson's, Kmart, The Sizzler.

332
00:14:46.260 --> 00:14:47.140
Gotta love The Sizzler.

333
00:14:47.140 --> 00:14:48.620
Forest City, yes.

334
00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:50.520
Blockbuster, geez.

335
00:14:51.620 --> 00:14:54.220
Blockbuster was a place to go.

336
00:14:54.220 --> 00:14:55.340
Here you guys go.

337
00:14:55.340 --> 00:14:57.240
Be kind, rewind.

338
00:14:59.140 --> 00:15:00.100
Hollywood video.

339
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.760
Oh yes, Radio Shack, Steak and Ale, Caldor.

340
00:15:02.760 --> 00:15:04.440
Caldor, some of these I've never heard of.

341
00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:07.320
The Brown Derby, I actually worked at the Brown Derby.

342
00:15:07.320 --> 00:15:08.280
You guys, I did.

343
00:15:08.280 --> 00:15:09.320
That was my husband.

344
00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:11.400
Babe, I told them all that you got a pellet in your butt.

345
00:15:11.400 --> 00:15:12.240
Sorry.

346
00:15:14.560 --> 00:15:16.240
If he wanted a secret keeper, trust me,

347
00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:17.560
he would not have married me.

348
00:15:17.560 --> 00:15:20.600
Mask Brothers, Montgomery Wards,

349
00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:22.280
or if he wanted anyone with a filter,

350
00:15:22.280 --> 00:15:23.720
he probably wouldn't have married me.

351
00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:24.720
Oh my gosh, Caldor.

352
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:26.120
What the heck is Caldor, you guys?

353
00:15:26.120 --> 00:15:27.480
Is it a restaurant, department store?

354
00:15:27.480 --> 00:15:28.320
What is it?

355
00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:29.640
Oh, how about Higbee's?

356
00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:31.040
Does anyone remember Higbee's?

357
00:15:31.040 --> 00:15:32.960
Anyone remember Lazarus?

358
00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:34.040
May Company?

359
00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:43.280
Hannah.

360
00:15:43.280 --> 00:15:44.360
Hannah's too young.

361
00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:46.000
She doesn't remember anything.

362
00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:48.720
Nothing that she remembers is out of business yet.

363
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:53.280
We've lived through it, you guys.

364
00:15:53.280 --> 00:15:54.960
So many businesses have come and gone.

365
00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:57.840
Gimbal's, Thrifty's.

366
00:16:00.640 --> 00:16:03.480
B. Dalton Booksellers, I remember a lot of these.

367
00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:05.320
All right, guys, that was fun.

368
00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:07.520
All right, let's go ahead and shift.

369
00:16:07.520 --> 00:16:10.640
So once again, the 17th is going to be our kickoff.

370
00:16:10.640 --> 00:16:11.480
We're going to make a plan.

371
00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:12.480
If you can't be there live,

372
00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:15.560
you can follow the framework to make a plan.

373
00:16:15.560 --> 00:16:18.120
And then every month, we're going to have a check-in.

374
00:16:19.280 --> 00:16:21.600
Ladies, you're going to have a chat

375
00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:23.600
added to your Facebook group

376
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.480
that is only for the people

377
00:16:25.480 --> 00:16:27.720
that are going to be part of the half-time chat.

378
00:16:27.720 --> 00:16:29.160
Only for the people that are going to be part

379
00:16:29.160 --> 00:16:30.600
of the half-time shift.

380
00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:32.160
That way you can keep each other accountable

381
00:16:32.160 --> 00:16:34.400
to whatever it is that you're doing.

382
00:16:34.400 --> 00:16:36.080
And gentlemen, you will also have a chat

383
00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:38.760
that is added to your chat in your Facebook group

384
00:16:38.760 --> 00:16:40.400
called half-time shift,

385
00:16:40.400 --> 00:16:42.200
and you guys can hold each other accountable.

386
00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:43.240
And then once a month,

387
00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:45.280
we're going to come together as a group

388
00:16:45.280 --> 00:16:48.560
and we're going to troubleshoot

389
00:16:48.560 --> 00:16:50.480
places where people feel stuck,

390
00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:52.520
places where people are like,

391
00:16:52.520 --> 00:16:53.920
hey, I really want to do this,

392
00:16:53.920 --> 00:16:56.920
but for whatever reason, it's not moving forward.

393
00:16:56.920 --> 00:16:59.120
I'm trying my best, but it's not happening.

394
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:01.360
And then we can give some wisdom

395
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:02.960
and even prophetic processing

396
00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:04.359
to get you moving back forward.

397
00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:05.400
Does that sound good?

398
00:17:07.520 --> 00:17:09.280
Okie dokie.

399
00:17:09.280 --> 00:17:10.400
I like the idea.

400
00:17:12.119 --> 00:17:12.960
I like it.

401
00:17:13.880 --> 00:17:14.960
Let's do it.

402
00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:18.400
Okay, so Q&A for love seats.

403
00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:19.440
If you're new to love seats,

404
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:20.960
is this your first one?

405
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:25.520
This is that once a month session where I do coaching.

406
00:17:25.520 --> 00:17:26.800
I mean, I coach all the time,

407
00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:30.000
but dating coaching, relationship coaching,

408
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:33.280
love advice right here in real time.

409
00:17:33.280 --> 00:17:35.040
You can volunteer to jump in the love seat.

410
00:17:35.040 --> 00:17:36.320
Only one person did.

411
00:17:36.320 --> 00:17:38.600
So we'll get to her in just a second,

412
00:17:38.600 --> 00:17:40.800
but we'll go ahead and take questions,

413
00:17:40.800 --> 00:17:43.160
scenarios, anything you have.

414
00:17:43.160 --> 00:17:45.560
Raise your hand if you want to jump in the love seat.

415
00:17:47.600 --> 00:17:49.840
You weren't planned to jump in,

416
00:17:49.840 --> 00:17:51.840
but you want to jump in.

417
00:17:51.840 --> 00:17:56.360
And remember, we need the shortest amount of background

418
00:17:56.360 --> 00:17:58.040
that you can give us.

419
00:17:58.040 --> 00:17:59.960
All right, I see Denise's hand is up.

420
00:17:59.960 --> 00:18:01.880
I'm going to spotlight her.

421
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:08.800
All right, Denise, you can unmute yourself.

422
00:18:08.800 --> 00:18:10.240
Hi there, can you hear me?

423
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:11.760
Yes, you're in the love seat.

424
00:18:11.760 --> 00:18:13.160
What do you got?

425
00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:14.000
I don't know.

426
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:15.480
What are we doing?

427
00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:16.920
It's kind of like I'm-

428
00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:18.920
Any question you have about your love life,

429
00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:20.400
about dating, I'll answer it.

430
00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:24.560
Oh, okay.

431
00:18:27.360 --> 00:18:30.000
I guess my question right now I'm struggling with

432
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:32.400
is how do you have the patience just to keep waiting?

433
00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.040
So I've been on several dates,

434
00:18:34.040 --> 00:18:35.560
they've all fallen through.

435
00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:41.160
And I feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do,

436
00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:43.560
but now I feel like it's just a waiting game.

437
00:18:43.560 --> 00:18:48.240
So how do you keep your joy in the waiting?

438
00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.320
I don't want you waiting.

439
00:18:49.320 --> 00:18:51.480
So we don't wait around here, okay?

440
00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:54.480
We, all we do around here, what we do is we prepare.

441
00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.280
So you can continue to prepare.

442
00:18:57.280 --> 00:18:59.880
By the way, friends, here's another announcement.

443
00:18:59.880 --> 00:19:04.320
You're gonna have access to heartwork sessions.

444
00:19:04.320 --> 00:19:06.880
So for those of you that heartwork was a million years ago,

445
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:09.600
there is a live heartwork session every single week.

446
00:19:09.600 --> 00:19:11.920
It's for the people that are in phase one,

447
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:13.360
but you can listen in on those sessions.

448
00:19:13.360 --> 00:19:14.920
You can participate in those sessions

449
00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:16.440
if you still have some preparation,

450
00:19:16.440 --> 00:19:17.840
if there's something coming up

451
00:19:17.840 --> 00:19:20.120
and you wanna be part of one of those live sessions,

452
00:19:20.120 --> 00:19:22.120
we're gonna add those to your calendar.

453
00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:24.720
They are during the day and at night on Mondays,

454
00:19:24.760 --> 00:19:28.160
you can jump into one of those if you want to.

455
00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:30.280
And remember, the people there are not dating.

456
00:19:30.280 --> 00:19:32.560
So you really wanna keep it heartwork focused

457
00:19:32.560 --> 00:19:35.840
and not man focused or woman focused or dating focused

458
00:19:35.840 --> 00:19:38.040
because the people that that session is for

459
00:19:38.040 --> 00:19:39.000
are heartwork people.

460
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:40.880
So let's focus it on healing the heart.

461
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:42.640
So anyway, you wanna be preparing.

462
00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:44.000
You wanna be positioning.

463
00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:45.480
It's possible that you're not positioned.

464
00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:46.320
You need to pray and say,

465
00:19:46.320 --> 00:19:49.280
hey God, how can I position myself?

466
00:19:49.280 --> 00:19:50.120
Because God's not holding out on you.

467
00:19:50.120 --> 00:19:51.440
What does positioning mean?

468
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:55.920
Exactly, well, how can, well, yes and no.

469
00:19:57.120 --> 00:19:59.640
Friends, God's not coming to save you.

470
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.700
I just really want to make sure that you know that.

471
00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:03.600
Jesus already did that on the cross.

472
00:20:03.600 --> 00:20:05.720
No one is coming to save you.

473
00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:08.280
We have to drive the car.

474
00:20:08.280 --> 00:20:09.680
We have to put it in drive.

475
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:12.960
We have to make plans and execute plans

476
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:15.640
and let God order our steps when we're already out there.

477
00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:16.760
I know a lot of people don't do that

478
00:20:16.760 --> 00:20:17.880
because they're worried about misstepping

479
00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:19.200
or making a mistake.

480
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:20.680
It's a guarantee that you're gonna misstep

481
00:20:20.680 --> 00:20:23.440
and make a mistake, but that's what God can use.

482
00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:25.680
He can use the missteps and mistakes,

483
00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:27.240
showing you broken parts of your heart

484
00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:28.840
from the missteps and mistakes,

485
00:20:28.840 --> 00:20:32.280
showing you different directions to go,

486
00:20:32.280 --> 00:20:34.360
rerouting you when you're moving.

487
00:20:34.360 --> 00:20:36.240
And so it's important that we do that.

488
00:20:36.240 --> 00:20:38.240
So let's not sit around and think

489
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.640
that God is going to give us the blueprints,

490
00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:44.160
sit around and feel like God's going to bring the person

491
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:45.960
right to our doorstep.

492
00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:47.720
It does happen every once in a blue moon,

493
00:20:47.720 --> 00:20:49.240
but it's not the norm.

494
00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:51.760
And also we want to prepare, position,

495
00:20:51.760 --> 00:20:53.280
and we want to partner with God.

496
00:20:53.280 --> 00:20:55.520
So it's really important that we're partnering.

497
00:20:55.520 --> 00:20:56.880
What does positioning mean?

498
00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:58.720
Does that just mean get yourself out there?

499
00:20:59.640 --> 00:21:00.760
It means get yourself out there.

500
00:21:00.760 --> 00:21:02.320
No, not just going to concerts.

501
00:21:02.320 --> 00:21:03.720
I mean, where do you live at?

502
00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:05.720
And why do you live there?

503
00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:08.320
Los Angeles, because of the weather.

504
00:21:08.320 --> 00:21:09.160
All right.

505
00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:12.920
So you live in a place that is you have,

506
00:21:12.920 --> 00:21:14.600
one of the obstacles that you have to overcome

507
00:21:14.600 --> 00:21:16.240
is there's not a lot of believers there.

508
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:17.920
There's not a lot of men in your age bracket there

509
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:19.200
that are believers.

510
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:21.080
And so you're already running into,

511
00:21:21.080 --> 00:21:23.240
you know, all you need is one, it's true.

512
00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:26.120
But so you're already running into a smaller dating pool

513
00:21:26.120 --> 00:21:27.720
and you're saying you live there for the weather,

514
00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:30.320
but is it a non-negotiable for you to live there?

515
00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:33.880
Oh, no, I'm willing to move if the Lord told me to.

516
00:21:33.880 --> 00:21:34.720
Okay.

517
00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:37.800
Well, start thinking about it.

518
00:21:37.800 --> 00:21:40.320
Start thinking about where you might want to go and visit

519
00:21:40.320 --> 00:21:41.160
and check out.

520
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:42.000
What else do you want to do?

521
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:45.080
Friends, I always want to tell all of you something.

522
00:21:45.080 --> 00:21:48.040
If you're at a church where, if you're at a church,

523
00:21:48.040 --> 00:21:49.480
let's just start, let's start with what,

524
00:21:49.480 --> 00:21:51.800
remember relocation, relocation, relocation.

525
00:21:51.800 --> 00:21:55.960
If you're in an area where you don't have an abundance

526
00:21:55.960 --> 00:22:00.520
of friends and community and roots and a business

527
00:22:00.520 --> 00:22:02.880
or a job that you're building that you can't do somewhere

528
00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:05.200
else or elderly parents that you're taking care of

529
00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:06.640
or young children that you're raising

530
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:09.040
on a shared custody agreement,

531
00:22:09.040 --> 00:22:11.880
but you don't have any of that,

532
00:22:11.880 --> 00:22:13.320
but your life is not thriving.

533
00:22:13.320 --> 00:22:14.320
It's not exploding.

534
00:22:14.320 --> 00:22:16.720
You're not just so excited about where you live

535
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:18.280
and feel such a burden for it.

536
00:22:18.280 --> 00:22:19.760
You should think about moving.

537
00:22:20.760 --> 00:22:23.840
If you have a church community where nothing's happening,

538
00:22:23.840 --> 00:22:25.040
no one's getting breakthrough.

539
00:22:25.040 --> 00:22:26.400
Everyone's still in debt.

540
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:30.440
Everyone's still, you know, dealing with all the same crap

541
00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:32.760
that they were dealing with last year and the year before

542
00:22:32.760 --> 00:22:33.880
and the year before.

543
00:22:33.880 --> 00:22:34.720
You're not learning.

544
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:35.560
You're not growing.

545
00:22:35.560 --> 00:22:38.040
You should think about going to another one.

546
00:22:38.040 --> 00:22:41.280
You should, you think about going out there

547
00:22:41.280 --> 00:22:43.640
and testing things and seeing.

548
00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:45.880
Don't just wait for a dream and an address.

549
00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:47.800
I did get a dream and an address once

550
00:22:47.800 --> 00:22:49.680
and God told me exactly where to go.

551
00:22:50.560 --> 00:22:54.280
But can I tell you that the other thousands of times

552
00:22:54.280 --> 00:22:55.720
that I've done something,

553
00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:57.640
I didn't get a dream and an address.

554
00:22:57.640 --> 00:23:01.400
And so it's important that we are taking action.

555
00:23:01.400 --> 00:23:03.480
The proof of belief is action.

556
00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:07.840
If you are in a job that you don't feel fulfilled in,

557
00:23:07.840 --> 00:23:10.560
you need to start praying during this halftime shift

558
00:23:10.560 --> 00:23:12.760
about what you would like to do

559
00:23:12.760 --> 00:23:16.040
and what you would need to do to prepare for that

560
00:23:16.040 --> 00:23:18.440
in order to shift to that thing.

561
00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:20.240
Friends, life is too short.

562
00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:23.480
This is not a dress rehearsal, all right?

563
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:25.480
Denise said something that I just happened

564
00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:26.960
to actually make.

565
00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:30.040
I just made an Instagram video about it

566
00:23:30.040 --> 00:23:32.280
right before I jumped on here.

567
00:23:32.280 --> 00:23:35.240
People who are like, why is it taking so long?

568
00:23:35.240 --> 00:23:37.200
Guys, God is not holding out on you

569
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:38.720
and people are literally getting

570
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.240
into marriage-minded relationships every day.

571
00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:43.920
People are getting married every day.

572
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:46.200
And so if that's not happening for you,

573
00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:48.180
it might be that you're not in proximity

574
00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:49.940
to the right things.

575
00:23:49.940 --> 00:23:52.940
And perhaps God's using your desire for a love story

576
00:23:52.940 --> 00:23:57.940
to get you somewhere else anyway, right?

577
00:23:58.100 --> 00:23:59.660
Sometimes he sells us what he wants

578
00:23:59.660 --> 00:24:01.980
to give us what we need, right?

579
00:24:01.980 --> 00:24:04.420
And so, Denise, that is the short answer.

580
00:24:05.300 --> 00:24:06.700
Awesome, thank you so much.

581
00:24:06.700 --> 00:24:08.660
Yeah, are you new?

582
00:24:08.660 --> 00:24:10.300
I've been around for a month,

583
00:24:10.300 --> 00:24:11.940
like three or four months at least.

584
00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:14.060
Okay, awesome, well, welcome.

585
00:24:14.060 --> 00:24:15.620
And she lives in LA,

586
00:24:15.620 --> 00:24:17.460
so make sure you're joining your single city LA,

587
00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:20.100
get to know some of the other ladies around there.

588
00:24:20.100 --> 00:24:22.620
There's a handful of men in that group as well.

589
00:24:22.620 --> 00:24:25.900
All right, so Margaret, are you ready to jump in?

590
00:24:25.900 --> 00:24:28.140
You were our volunteer tonight, right?

591
00:24:28.140 --> 00:24:29.980
Okay, all right, go ahead and unmute.

592
00:24:31.580 --> 00:24:32.820
Hannah, you don't know,

593
00:24:32.820 --> 00:24:34.900
I wanna answer Hannah's question.

594
00:24:34.900 --> 00:24:37.100
You don't know where to relocate

595
00:24:37.100 --> 00:24:40.420
unless God highlights a place to you,

596
00:24:40.420 --> 00:24:43.100
but you can follow the desires of your heart.

597
00:24:43.100 --> 00:24:45.100
Where have you always wanted to live?

598
00:24:45.100 --> 00:24:46.940
Where does it sound exciting to live?

599
00:24:46.980 --> 00:24:50.180
You can just go visit and see if there's anything to it,

600
00:24:50.180 --> 00:24:52.220
right, you can see if there's any favor there,

601
00:24:52.220 --> 00:24:54.260
you can see if any doors open there.

602
00:24:55.140 --> 00:24:55.980
That's what you can do.

603
00:24:55.980 --> 00:24:57.860
You can see if you, you know,

604
00:24:57.860 --> 00:24:59.740
David and I felt

605
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.440
inkling to move to Austin, Texas, it was kind of out of left field, neither one of us had ever been here,

606
00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:11.080
but we came and visited and we fell in love with Austin and we're like, yeah, we're gonna do it and we did it and

607
00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:13.400
that was seven and a half years ago.

608
00:25:14.560 --> 00:25:16.240
So

609
00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:20.040
someone just said, I don't know why but I want to live in Idaho.

610
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:23.680
Well, if you want to live somewhere that a lot of other people don't want to live,

611
00:25:24.800 --> 00:25:28.320
then you might want to look into that because that might be from the Lord.

612
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.000
I mean, everybody wanted to live in San Diego because it's beautiful and sunny.

613
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:40.040
Everyone for at least a little bit of time wanted to live in Nashville, Tennessee because that sounded fun

614
00:25:40.040 --> 00:25:43.800
and now everyone's moved there and the traffic is terrible.

615
00:25:44.600 --> 00:25:48.600
Everyone wanted to live in Austin for a little while because everybody else was moving to Austin,

616
00:25:48.600 --> 00:25:52.640
so why don't I move to Austin? But make sure that you go,

617
00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:59.520
you visit, you check it out, you see how you feel, how does your spirit feel, do you have peace, are you excited?

618
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:05.280
You know, are opportunities presenting themselves? There's little litmus tests that you can put out there.

619
00:26:05.320 --> 00:26:09.080
Okay, so Margaret is gonna get spotlighted. Let me get her.

620
00:26:10.760 --> 00:26:13.680
You guys, if you're putting up more questions, I'll get to them in a sec.

621
00:26:13.880 --> 00:26:18.360
All right, Margaret, short, brief and powerful backstory and then let's go.

622
00:26:18.760 --> 00:26:22.680
Okay, so I've been in the community for since October of 2023.

623
00:26:23.240 --> 00:26:29.160
Okay, that's a long time, Margaret. Yeah, yeah, and but I had a lot of hard work to do.

624
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:33.960
So I was gonna say I don't remember you from way back then. So you must have been the heartwork.

625
00:26:35.600 --> 00:26:41.680
Okay, it's been a while so I was wrestling with with a with a was-been situation so

626
00:26:42.560 --> 00:26:46.360
Yeah, and now I'm now I'm in a different position. So anyway, I've been

627
00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:52.760
the struggle that I'm having is I've only been because of that. I've only been walking with the Lord for 25 years and

628
00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:58.680
so and I've only been with two men so I haven't dated

629
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:01.240
pre

630
00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:07.200
Last year single community and pre Jesus. I had no problems, you know my 20s

631
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:11.360
I was just like out there with whatever now I'm finding, you know, these apps and everything

632
00:27:11.360 --> 00:27:14.000
There's a lot of scammers, but right now I'm in this

633
00:27:16.760 --> 00:27:23.600
Dating person's life and I'm I'm a little confused. So that's what I'm bringing forward for the question. So

634
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:27.040
Basically, I can tell he likes me

635
00:27:28.040 --> 00:27:32.560
And I I don't know if I like him like I

636
00:27:33.240 --> 00:27:37.800
I'm fascinated by him and what I and I'm embarrassed to even admit this out loud

637
00:27:37.800 --> 00:27:42.000
but it's it I feel like it's necessary to to get out here and ask these questions, so

638
00:27:44.040 --> 00:27:46.040
Why are you fascinated

639
00:27:47.760 --> 00:27:49.760
He is he's he's like

640
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:52.200
He doesn't laugh

641
00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:57.440
Like but he smiles and like and he doesn't and and his response he's very self-controlled

642
00:27:59.040 --> 00:28:04.600
He's the first man and I've been on a lot of dates and video dates and in-person dates

643
00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:07.440
But he's the first man

644
00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:09.000
that

645
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:12.240
Didn't want to come right in for like a hug or something

646
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:15.960
Like I actually asked I asked him and I asked him is are you you know?

647
00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:20.240
Where are you at when it comes to physical touch type thing? So before my love language is physical touch

648
00:28:20.680 --> 00:28:24.200
So it's like I there and there's a sense of like, I don't know

649
00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:26.800
I just always want to just like touch your hand or like I don't know

650
00:28:26.800 --> 00:28:30.240
There's that kind of thing going on. So you met it. You met a guy. That's your polar opposite

651
00:28:30.560 --> 00:28:34.320
It feels like he's my polar opposite. It feels like and he's he's like

652
00:28:34.840 --> 00:28:38.600
Tigger and I mean, I'm Tigger and he's like your you know, but he's not I mean

653
00:28:38.600 --> 00:28:40.600
He's starting to come out of his shell a little bit

654
00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:43.720
But I just don't know, you know Tigger likes your

655
00:28:43.720 --> 00:28:45.720
I

656
00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:52.560
Just I'm just trying to figure out I'm trying to figure out how long do you stick in with it?

657
00:28:52.560 --> 00:28:56.360
Cuz I didn't throw him out with the bathwater. I kind of gave him a chance. I was gonna throw him out

658
00:28:56.360 --> 00:28:58.080
I gotta be honest. I was like

659
00:28:58.080 --> 00:28:59.000
like

660
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:03.680
My old my old ways would have done that but with last year single and with the community and with the women

661
00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:09.400
Responding to some of the things that I had written. I realized okay, I'll give him a chance and we went on a video

662
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:11.840
date and

663
00:29:11.840 --> 00:29:17.520
It it he's starting to come out of his shell a little bit, but I I get nervous around people who are too quiet

664
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:22.240
So, wait a second, did you see him in person or not?

665
00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:29.160
Yeah, we did we did and then after the date the physical date in person. I was ready to say, okay, I'm done

666
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:35.080
I'm done like in person like okay, so it so you did one video date and one in person

667
00:29:35.080 --> 00:29:41.000
Oh, you know, we've had four video dates. Okay, and one in-person date. Yeah. Okay. So what do you what?

668
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:47.920
What do you like about him Margaret? I like that. He's self-controlled. I like that. He's attentive

669
00:29:48.560 --> 00:29:50.560
I like he's handsome

670
00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:52.840
I like that

671
00:29:52.840 --> 00:29:59.000
That he's a believer that he's a strong believer like that. He you know, he loves the Lord that he's a dedicated father

672
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.000
I like that, that, well, that sounds crazy,

673
00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:07.960
but I like the fact that he's been married twice,

674
00:30:07.960 --> 00:30:09.400
just like me, even though he was,

675
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:10.640
he's in a different situation.

676
00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:13.340
Both his parents and grandparents were married.

677
00:30:13.340 --> 00:30:15.040
They've been married 40 something years,

678
00:30:15.040 --> 00:30:16.480
and then his grandparents were married 60 years

679
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:17.960
before they passed away.

680
00:30:17.960 --> 00:30:22.960
So his two relationships that he was in, they ended them.

681
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:24.520
He didn't want them ended.

682
00:30:24.520 --> 00:30:26.280
And so there's a sense of like, I don't know,

683
00:30:26.280 --> 00:30:29.520
it's almost like, and I've been married twice.

684
00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:31.520
So it's like, I don't judge.

685
00:30:31.520 --> 00:30:33.320
But why did they end them?

686
00:30:33.320 --> 00:30:35.320
Do they both end them for the same reason?

687
00:30:35.320 --> 00:30:36.360
I have no idea.

688
00:30:36.360 --> 00:30:37.940
We haven't gotten that far.

689
00:30:37.940 --> 00:30:38.780
Okay.

690
00:30:38.780 --> 00:30:41.500
So it sounds like the things that you like about him

691
00:30:41.500 --> 00:30:43.120
are all pretty green flags.

692
00:30:43.120 --> 00:30:45.780
And so I would say it's a yes until it's no.

693
00:30:46.620 --> 00:30:48.480
And how do you know how long it needs to be a yes

694
00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:49.320
until it's a no?

695
00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:51.240
Like, how do I know that?

696
00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:55.240
There's still things that you are needing

697
00:30:55.240 --> 00:30:59.440
to find out about him to completely know exactly

698
00:31:00.360 --> 00:31:02.520
the answer to your question, how do you know?

699
00:31:02.520 --> 00:31:05.240
Because you're not sure.

700
00:31:05.240 --> 00:31:06.280
Oh.

701
00:31:06.280 --> 00:31:08.280
Okay, so that's how you know.

702
00:31:08.280 --> 00:31:09.160
But I'm gonna tell you,

703
00:31:09.160 --> 00:31:10.040
it sounds like there are things

704
00:31:10.040 --> 00:31:12.760
that you're still curious about and wanna find out about

705
00:31:12.760 --> 00:31:15.160
and wanna see if he kind of blossoms and opens up.

706
00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:16.760
Now, it's a yes until it's a no.

707
00:31:16.760 --> 00:31:18.800
And when it's a no, friends, it's a hard pass.

708
00:31:18.800 --> 00:31:20.080
Like, you know that it's a no.

709
00:31:20.080 --> 00:31:21.040
She doesn't know it's a no,

710
00:31:21.040 --> 00:31:23.240
or she wouldn't be asking this question in the first place.

711
00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:24.080
Right.

712
00:31:24.080 --> 00:31:25.120
She would have just said, hey, see ya,

713
00:31:25.120 --> 00:31:26.400
wouldn't wanna be ya.

714
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:28.000
True, true, thank you, yes.

715
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:30.240
And so, yeah, so it's still a yes

716
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:34.560
because you have not closed the chapter on it

717
00:31:34.560 --> 00:31:36.800
because you're intrigued still.

718
00:31:36.800 --> 00:31:38.040
I am, yeah.

719
00:31:38.040 --> 00:31:39.120
He's very different.

720
00:31:39.120 --> 00:31:40.440
Different can be good,

721
00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:44.120
as long as we're complimentary opposites, not fully polar.

722
00:31:44.120 --> 00:31:45.720
And I don't think you can know that yet

723
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:47.800
because four video dates and one in person,

724
00:31:47.800 --> 00:31:50.840
I would really recommend getting in person more.

725
00:31:50.840 --> 00:31:53.200
Yeah, indeed, that's the plan.

726
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:54.480
That is the plan.

727
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:55.320
All right.

728
00:31:55.320 --> 00:31:56.160
Thank you.

729
00:31:56.160 --> 00:31:57.000
All right, thank you, Margaret.

730
00:31:57.000 --> 00:31:58.040
Did everyone get what I was saying?

731
00:31:58.040 --> 00:32:01.600
Okay, so someone said something that I wanna say.

732
00:32:01.600 --> 00:32:03.080
I wanna say something.

733
00:32:03.080 --> 00:32:05.720
Someone was like, my community's great.

734
00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:07.320
God gave me a job.

735
00:32:07.320 --> 00:32:10.960
I don't feel released to leave where I am.

736
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:13.880
And you guys, that's all you need to know right there.

737
00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:16.360
Look, don't try to figure this out yourself.

738
00:32:16.360 --> 00:32:18.320
You don't feel released.

739
00:32:18.320 --> 00:32:20.160
Stay where you are.

740
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:22.480
This is why coaching in a big group like this,

741
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:24.800
it can be a little dicey

742
00:32:24.800 --> 00:32:27.600
because you'll take advice that's not meant for you.

743
00:32:28.560 --> 00:32:30.080
So for whoever it's for,

744
00:32:30.080 --> 00:32:32.760
it's time to move forward in and out of where you are.

745
00:32:32.760 --> 00:32:36.360
And some of you, listen, all you need is one.

746
00:32:36.360 --> 00:32:38.200
They were saying, oh, there's not a lot of people here.

747
00:32:38.200 --> 00:32:39.880
Maybe I'm standing in my own way.

748
00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:40.880
How are you standing in your own way

749
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:42.840
by being obedient to the Lord?

750
00:32:42.840 --> 00:32:43.920
If you don't feel released,

751
00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:45.920
if you feel like you're right where you're supposed to be,

752
00:32:45.920 --> 00:32:47.920
then you just need to trust the Lord.

753
00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:50.120
But I guarantee you this,

754
00:32:50.120 --> 00:32:51.840
and this is homework for all of you,

755
00:32:51.840 --> 00:32:53.800
and I've given you this homework before,

756
00:32:53.800 --> 00:32:55.480
but I'm gonna give it to you again.

757
00:32:55.480 --> 00:32:58.960
Go and Google the population of your county,

758
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.360
not your city, your county.

759
00:33:01.360 --> 00:33:03.160
And if it's more than one person,

760
00:33:05.280 --> 00:33:08.280
then you're doing good because all you need is one.

761
00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:11.520
And you don't know all the people in your county.

762
00:33:11.520 --> 00:33:13.120
You don't know all the people in your city.

763
00:33:13.120 --> 00:33:15.360
You don't know all the people in your state.

764
00:33:15.360 --> 00:33:17.160
Every time that you go someplace,

765
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:19.720
whether it's walking into a grocery store,

766
00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:21.520
whether it's walking into a restaurant,

767
00:33:21.520 --> 00:33:24.600
whether it's walking into an event that you're visiting at,

768
00:33:26.360 --> 00:33:27.480
there are gonna be people there

769
00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:29.120
that you have never met before.

770
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:33.160
I want you guys to wrap your head around that.

771
00:33:35.040 --> 00:33:39.280
I didn't meet David at picnic with the pastor,

772
00:33:39.280 --> 00:33:41.080
but he was there and so was I.

773
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:44.040
You know where else he was that I was?

774
00:33:45.040 --> 00:33:49.560
Applebee's at 10 o'clock every Sunday night after church.

775
00:33:49.560 --> 00:33:51.240
We didn't go to the same churches,

776
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:54.280
but all kinds of churches were at the only restaurant

777
00:33:54.280 --> 00:33:56.200
that was open after 10 o'clock at night.

778
00:33:58.360 --> 00:34:01.080
And we were there at the same time,

779
00:34:01.080 --> 00:34:04.000
year after year after year after year, you guys.

780
00:34:04.920 --> 00:34:05.760
All right?

781
00:34:05.760 --> 00:34:08.560
At that picnic with the pastor, they had a jumbotron.

782
00:34:08.560 --> 00:34:11.040
Some of you have heard this story, some of you haven't.

783
00:34:11.040 --> 00:34:14.480
And on that jumbotron, they were showing videos

784
00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:16.400
that they had made, prank videos,

785
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:18.360
for the staff members of this mega church

786
00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:21.159
holding this or hosting this picnic with the pastor.

787
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:22.440
This wasn't my church.

788
00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:23.639
I was a guest.

789
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:25.239
I was being invited by my friend

790
00:34:25.239 --> 00:34:26.960
who went to church at this church.

791
00:34:28.080 --> 00:34:30.480
And as I was watching the funny prank videos,

792
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:32.880
I saw one of the guys in the videos that they were pranking.

793
00:34:32.880 --> 00:34:35.000
He was their current youth pastor

794
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:36.520
and he seemed familiar to me.

795
00:34:36.520 --> 00:34:38.400
And so I asked the person who invited me,

796
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:40.199
hey, who is that guy?

797
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:41.440
And I don't remember what they said.

798
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:43.760
They said, oh, he's our youth pastor, blah, blah, blah.

799
00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:45.719
And his wife was in the prank video as well.

800
00:34:45.719 --> 00:34:47.159
Obviously I could see she was married.

801
00:34:47.199 --> 00:34:49.199
I was married at the time to my first husband.

802
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:52.280
I was just starting to go through my divorce process.

803
00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:54.360
And I wasn't asking for that reason.

804
00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:56.320
I was asking because there was such a familiarity.

805
00:34:56.320 --> 00:34:57.760
I was like, maybe I worked with him.

806
00:34:57.760 --> 00:35:00.120
Maybe I went to school.

807
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.800
with him or college with him. Maybe he was one of my classes. Like maybe he works somewhere that I

808
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:08.880
go. Like his face was so familiar, but I just couldn't place him. You guys know what I'm

809
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:13.760
talking about, right? And even after I drove away, it just really bugged me. I was like,

810
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.880
where do I know that guy from? And then I eventually forgot about it.

811
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:21.680
And about a year and a half later, I was married to him,

812
00:35:21.680 --> 00:35:32.160
that guy in the video. But I didn't know it. And when we were married, he was going through all

813
00:35:32.160 --> 00:35:38.000
of his memorabilia and he popped in a VCR tape. That's right, y'all. It was a VCR tape. Please

814
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:43.600
be kind, rewind. And he said, babe, come watch this. It's so funny. I want to show you this

815
00:35:43.600 --> 00:35:50.960
video that they made of me at church, this prank video. And I looked at the video and my jaw hit

816
00:35:50.960 --> 00:35:58.400
the floor because it was him, this guy that I couldn't place because he was in my story,

817
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:04.160
but he was just in my future story. And so every time you go into any place that you,

818
00:36:04.160 --> 00:36:07.840
even if you frequent it regularly, there are going to be people there that you've never met

819
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:12.480
before. You're going to cross paths with strangers all day long, every day, friends.

820
00:36:13.600 --> 00:36:18.960
And some of those people may be in your story in one way or another. And so you need to remember

821
00:36:18.960 --> 00:36:23.680
that. As long as you're not living on a desert Island all by yourself and you're the only person

822
00:36:23.680 --> 00:36:28.960
there, then you're going to be crossing paths and rubbing shoulders every single day. And so start

823
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:35.280
slowing down, start looking people in the eyes, start smiling men and women, both start saying

824
00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:38.800
hi to people, start being friendlier. Some of you just need the word that you need to see to

825
00:36:38.800 --> 00:36:44.560
be friendlier. You make fun of people that strike up conversations with strangers, but perhaps your

826
00:36:44.560 --> 00:36:50.720
love story is going to happen because you strike up a conversation with a stranger. And then they

827
00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:55.760
introduce you to their uncle or their brother or their next door neighbor or gentlemen to their

828
00:36:55.760 --> 00:37:03.680
daughter, their niece, their neighbor. You don't know. Be kind to strangers, always be kind,

829
00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:09.920
always be kingdom everywhere you go, because you know, you really literally never know who

830
00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:16.320
you're going to meet. You never ever know my future daughter-in-law. Hey, my son's going to

831
00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:22.240
be engaged before too long. My future daughter-in-law, she was driving Uber and she was driving the CEO of

832
00:37:22.240 --> 00:37:27.520
Kendra Scott and she didn't know it. And that woman told her who she was at the end of the ride,

833
00:37:27.520 --> 00:37:31.760
thanked her for being so kind and so friendly and gave her a necklace from Kendra Scott.

834
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:37.600
My future daughter-in-law was on the street and she ran into Bobby Brown, the makeup artist.

835
00:37:38.240 --> 00:37:43.600
She recognized her. She started a conversation with her. They had a great time. She ended up

836
00:37:43.600 --> 00:37:48.080
running into Kendra Scott on the street too of Kendra Scott, Kendra Scott of Kendra Scott.

837
00:37:48.080 --> 00:37:51.680
And they had an amazing conversation. She just runs into people all over the place. You know,

838
00:37:51.680 --> 00:37:56.960
I don't know why, because she's very friendly and she's very kind. And so you never know who

839
00:37:56.960 --> 00:38:03.280
you're going to run into and what connection is going to come as a result of that. All right.

840
00:38:03.280 --> 00:38:06.720
So let's go with Susan Bennett. I think she had her hand up next. I'm going to go ahead and

841
00:38:06.720 --> 00:38:13.040
spotlight Susan. So for those of you that were like, maybe I'm missing out. No, if you feel

842
00:38:13.040 --> 00:38:16.720
peace about where you are, then you need to stay where you are. Just because it hasn't happened

843
00:38:16.720 --> 00:38:22.480
yet there doesn't mean it's not going to happen. But be open to getting to know people long

844
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:26.480
distance, as long as they're willing to relocate to you. If you feel like you need to stay where

845
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:34.800
you are. Go ahead, Susan. Unmute. Hang on. Am I on? You are on, honey.

846
00:38:34.800 --> 00:38:43.040
I got all sorts of flashing things at me. Oh, goodness gracious. So much to say, but

847
00:38:43.680 --> 00:38:48.560
not sure what direction to go. What's your question? My question.

848
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:55.520
Okay. Maybe my question is, because I was pondering this. What am I going to say? What

849
00:38:55.520 --> 00:38:59.360
am I going to ask? Because I always get so excited about these spotlight things. And I

850
00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:03.280
really want to come on and have some profound thing happen.

851
00:39:08.240 --> 00:39:10.000
Well, what happened to the guy you were talking to?

852
00:39:11.200 --> 00:39:14.160
Oh my gosh. That guy?

853
00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:15.440
That guy.

854
00:39:16.240 --> 00:39:22.240
I don't know. All the ladies raise their hand and tell me who else on here was talking to the same

855
00:39:22.240 --> 00:39:30.960
Greg that I was talking to off of ARC. I know there was, I think there was at least three or

856
00:39:30.960 --> 00:39:35.840
four other ladies that were talking to Greg. I mean, I could have told you that.

857
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:41.280
Yeah. Yeah. Well, after he sent me his burpee video, him doing burpees,

858
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:48.240
then it just, it just went away. He never.

859
00:39:49.120 --> 00:39:51.760
You mean your, your desire to get to know him went away?

860
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:55.920
Well, he, it just, the, our texting just ended.

861
00:39:56.560 --> 00:39:58.320
Yeah. You know.

862
00:39:58.320 --> 00:39:59.760
Well, burpees will do that to you.

863
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.560
You know, sometimes, yeah, burpees are fun.

864
00:40:04.560 --> 00:40:06.600
So okay.

865
00:40:06.600 --> 00:40:13.240
So that guy ended and then, um, I went on a blind date March or no, not March, uh, December

866
00:40:13.240 --> 00:40:14.240
of 28th.

867
00:40:14.240 --> 00:40:19.560
Anyway, lovely, interesting man, but then he, he ended up telling me that he was emotionally

868
00:40:19.560 --> 00:40:22.740
and mentally not in a good place.

869
00:40:22.740 --> 00:40:27.320
So I'm like, well, then why are you talking to me?

870
00:40:27.320 --> 00:40:28.320
So that fizzled.

871
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:32.720
So that ended because basically I said, you know, you're not in a place.

872
00:40:32.720 --> 00:40:37.760
And for one, I don't want to do long distance dating and I don't want to live in Northern

873
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:38.760
Michigan.

874
00:40:38.760 --> 00:40:39.760
Okay.

875
00:40:39.760 --> 00:40:41.840
And thank you very much.

876
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:44.240
Thank you very much.

877
00:40:44.240 --> 00:40:45.240
So that ended.

878
00:40:45.240 --> 00:40:46.240
Okay.

879
00:40:46.240 --> 00:40:56.320
And, and then I've also noticed, been very heavily aware of my avoidant attachment style.

880
00:40:57.320 --> 00:41:03.520
And, um, but I'm very friendly.

881
00:41:03.520 --> 00:41:09.520
Well, of course you're very friendly when there's no intimacy involved and there's no

882
00:41:09.520 --> 00:41:14.080
threat of intimacy and you don't feel like you're going to be controlled by anyone.

883
00:41:14.080 --> 00:41:18.120
You guys were going to do some integrated work, integration work for your attachment

884
00:41:18.120 --> 00:41:21.400
styles for those of you that feel like you're still really struggling with either anxious

885
00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:24.600
or dismissive avoidant or avoidant.

886
00:41:24.600 --> 00:41:26.720
And we really want to help you to integrate.

887
00:41:26.720 --> 00:41:29.000
You can integrate.

888
00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:30.760
It's really fun work.

889
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:32.800
And so we are going to be offering that.

890
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:37.560
You guys know that we have a one-on-one coaching page that's live on JackieDorman.com.

891
00:41:37.560 --> 00:41:41.080
So if you need a one-on-one coaching session, we have lots of amazing coaches over there

892
00:41:41.080 --> 00:41:45.320
waiting to coach you, to prophetically process you, to help you, to do hard work with you,

893
00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:50.320
to do dating coaching, to help you make decisions, whatever it is that you have need of.

894
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:53.860
We're not therapists, there's not counselors, but they are coaches and they're all very

895
00:41:53.860 --> 00:41:58.300
talented, gifted coaches that work for us and with us.

896
00:41:58.300 --> 00:41:59.940
And so go check that out.

897
00:41:59.940 --> 00:42:01.540
Men, you have your own page now.

898
00:42:01.540 --> 00:42:07.500
I don't know if you know that or not, but JackieDorman.com backslash men take you right

899
00:42:07.500 --> 00:42:10.940
to your page and there's all kinds of stuff over there.

900
00:42:10.940 --> 00:42:13.420
There's men's only coaching there.

901
00:42:13.420 --> 00:42:15.140
There's all kinds of fun stuff.

902
00:42:15.140 --> 00:42:22.420
Friends, I have made the very hard decision after this affiliate partnership with Arc

903
00:42:22.580 --> 00:42:29.580
to open SpiritMate Match to you guys, to the user instead of to us for events and single

904
00:42:30.580 --> 00:42:31.940
spotlights.

905
00:42:31.940 --> 00:42:38.940
Now it's going to be kind of difficult because of a few different things, but we're going

906
00:42:39.740 --> 00:42:44.060
to do it because I will tell you, here was my process.

907
00:42:44.060 --> 00:42:48.660
My process was, well, I don't want to open it to them because I don't want them to be

908
00:42:48.660 --> 00:42:49.660
disappointed.

909
00:42:49.660 --> 00:42:55.260
I don't want to open it to them unless we have a really good ratio of men versus women

910
00:42:55.260 --> 00:43:00.340
because you guys, we have a curated community on SpiritMate Match.

911
00:43:00.340 --> 00:43:05.340
It's not like the hot dog of dating apps.

912
00:43:05.340 --> 00:43:07.460
I feel like dating apps are hot dogs.

913
00:43:07.460 --> 00:43:10.540
They're full of lips and buttholes.

914
00:43:10.540 --> 00:43:14.460
It's just like every piece's part in the world are on these dating apps.

915
00:43:15.340 --> 00:43:19.980
When I saw the quality of men on Arc, I'm just going to be honest, besides our guys,

916
00:43:19.980 --> 00:43:24.500
I was like, is this community night at the local prison?

917
00:43:24.500 --> 00:43:27.300
What is happening on here?

918
00:43:27.300 --> 00:43:32.300
As soon as I saw that, I'm like, Jackie, you have way better men on SpiritMate Match.

919
00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:34.180
You have incredible men on SpiritMate Match.

920
00:43:34.180 --> 00:43:39.540
Yeah, it might not be 50-50, but it's better than this.

921
00:43:39.540 --> 00:43:43.180
That's when I made the decision that we were going to do this.

922
00:43:43.180 --> 00:43:47.660
Please do not come at me with like, oh, Jackie, I already went through the hundred guys on

923
00:43:47.660 --> 00:43:49.020
here and there's not a guy for me.

924
00:43:49.020 --> 00:43:51.020
You know what I want you to do instead?

925
00:43:51.020 --> 00:43:56.980
I want you, as soon as we go live with this, to you, when you meet an amazing guy somewhere,

926
00:43:56.980 --> 00:44:02.220
I don't care where you meet him, I want you to take out your phone, have him download

927
00:44:02.220 --> 00:44:08.620
the app and fill out a profile and you just added another amazing man.

928
00:44:08.620 --> 00:44:12.780
The same with women, although we have plenty of amazing women on there.

929
00:44:13.660 --> 00:44:16.580
Guys, have your friends join as well.

930
00:44:16.580 --> 00:44:21.460
We're just going to all take it upon ourselves to continue to add as many men as we can.

931
00:44:21.460 --> 00:44:26.900
I think right now there's probably a couple hundred men on there, but we have to start

932
00:44:26.900 --> 00:44:29.340
somewhere, don't we?

933
00:44:29.340 --> 00:44:32.740
It's way better than what I saw on this app that's starting out.

934
00:44:32.740 --> 00:44:37.580
I had no idea that the pickings were so slim.

935
00:44:37.580 --> 00:44:39.220
Jesus, help us.

936
00:44:39.220 --> 00:44:40.860
I don't even know where these people came from.

937
00:44:40.900 --> 00:44:43.980
In fact, some of the people, I felt like we were being punked.

938
00:44:43.980 --> 00:44:45.780
Are we being punked?

939
00:44:45.780 --> 00:44:52.100
Did this person really fill out a dating profile because they look like a serial killer?

940
00:44:52.100 --> 00:44:56.780
One guy had a bloody knife in his hand.

941
00:44:56.780 --> 00:44:59.140
I don't know if he was a butcher.

942
00:44:59.140 --> 00:45:00.060
I don't know what was going on.

943
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.240
but he had sunglasses on too,

944
00:45:02.240 --> 00:45:06.640
which made him even more nefarious looking.

945
00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:08.600
So anyway, we're gonna do it.

946
00:45:08.600 --> 00:45:11.680
So Susan, you know I love catching up with you,

947
00:45:11.680 --> 00:45:13.040
but was there a question?

948
00:45:14.480 --> 00:45:16.360
Oh, okay.

949
00:45:16.360 --> 00:45:18.000
Susan's a professional actress,

950
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:20.760
so she does love to be in the spotlight,

951
00:45:20.760 --> 00:45:22.280
and she's gorgeous and funny,

952
00:45:22.280 --> 00:45:24.120
and if you know her, you will love her.

953
00:45:24.120 --> 00:45:25.720
But what do we got, honey?

954
00:45:25.720 --> 00:45:28.000
Okay, I don't know.

955
00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:29.240
Let's just go off of the fact

956
00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:31.200
that you were talking about brown fat,

957
00:45:31.200 --> 00:45:35.400
and I'm in my swimming suit.

958
00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:36.440
That's cute.

959
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:37.840
Yes, it's long sleeve,

960
00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:39.120
because I don't like all the sun anymore.

961
00:45:39.120 --> 00:45:42.600
Anyway, so I've been cold dipping in the river here,

962
00:45:42.600 --> 00:45:45.000
in the Animas River here in Durango, Colorado.

963
00:45:45.840 --> 00:45:46.680
Okay.

964
00:45:46.680 --> 00:45:49.640
Even in March, when it was 50 degrees out,

965
00:45:49.640 --> 00:45:51.200
and the water was 48.

966
00:45:51.200 --> 00:45:55.960
So I just want to piggyback off your getting healthy,

967
00:45:55.960 --> 00:45:57.760
ladies, and lifting weights.

968
00:45:57.760 --> 00:46:00.080
I'm 66, I lift weights.

969
00:46:00.080 --> 00:46:01.200
Come on.

970
00:46:01.200 --> 00:46:05.320
And it's just, you just have to do it,

971
00:46:05.320 --> 00:46:07.760
and your body shape will change.

972
00:46:08.600 --> 00:46:10.040
Don't worry about the scale.

973
00:46:11.200 --> 00:46:12.360
Worry about what you're eating,

974
00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:14.520
high protein, and lift weights,

975
00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:17.000
and go for intense walks,

976
00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:18.520
and you will shrink.

977
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:21.200
I love it.

978
00:46:21.200 --> 00:46:22.040
You will.

979
00:46:22.040 --> 00:46:23.360
And then dip in cold water,

980
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.080
and get rid of your brown fat.

981
00:46:25.080 --> 00:46:27.040
But I was trying to work out a joke for that.

982
00:46:27.080 --> 00:46:27.920
Like brown fat.

983
00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:29.400
I thought that was like a good thing,

984
00:46:29.400 --> 00:46:31.760
like Thanksgiving and brown fat in gravy.

985
00:46:33.120 --> 00:46:34.200
It is a good thing.

986
00:46:34.200 --> 00:46:35.680
It tastes delicious.

987
00:46:35.680 --> 00:46:38.600
You know, let's work on a joke for that.

988
00:46:38.600 --> 00:46:41.440
Brown fat and white fat walk into a bar.

989
00:46:42.320 --> 00:46:43.520
And then what's the punchline?

990
00:46:43.520 --> 00:46:44.360
Okay.

991
00:46:44.360 --> 00:46:45.200
We'll figure it out, you guys.

992
00:46:45.200 --> 00:46:46.520
All right, Susan.

993
00:46:46.520 --> 00:46:49.000
You guys, if you know someone that should meet Susan,

994
00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:52.480
remember this is a community-based matchmaking community.

995
00:46:52.480 --> 00:46:54.160
And so if you know someone who should meet

996
00:46:54.160 --> 00:46:57.760
the vibrant, sassy Susan Bennett,

997
00:46:57.760 --> 00:46:58.600
that's right.

998
00:46:58.600 --> 00:46:59.480
She also had five daughters,

999
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:03.000
just like Mrs. Bennett in Jane Austen's book.

1000
00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:06.800
I think that you definitely should introduce them to Susan.

1001
00:47:06.800 --> 00:47:07.640
All right?

1002
00:47:07.640 --> 00:47:08.680
Because she's incredible.

1003
00:47:08.680 --> 00:47:10.280
And right now she's in Colorado.

1004
00:47:11.400 --> 00:47:12.240
Okay.

1005
00:47:12.240 --> 00:47:14.960
So remember, I'm answering the questions

1006
00:47:14.960 --> 00:47:16.400
of the people in the chat as well.

1007
00:47:16.400 --> 00:47:17.240
Okay.

1008
00:47:17.240 --> 00:47:18.080
Someone else said,

1009
00:47:18.080 --> 00:47:19.640
if we're not in the same season as someone,

1010
00:47:19.640 --> 00:47:22.800
how long should we give them to get in our season?

1011
00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:23.760
I don't know what that means.

1012
00:47:24.360 --> 00:47:26.880
So Debra, I think that was who it was.

1013
00:47:26.880 --> 00:47:28.320
If it's not Debra, it's someone.

1014
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:29.440
You know who you are.

1015
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:32.640
Unmute yourself and tell us what you mean by that.

1016
00:47:40.080 --> 00:47:41.200
What do you mean?

1017
00:47:46.640 --> 00:47:48.160
I'm gonna go look for you now.

1018
00:47:54.200 --> 00:47:55.960
Dawn.

1019
00:47:55.960 --> 00:47:56.800
Nope.

1020
00:47:59.840 --> 00:48:01.720
Does this mean I can delete Arc now?

1021
00:48:01.720 --> 00:48:03.120
Yeah, if you want to.

1022
00:48:03.120 --> 00:48:04.240
I'm so sorry, you guys.

1023
00:48:04.240 --> 00:48:06.120
I thought it was a lot better than that.

1024
00:48:06.120 --> 00:48:08.440
Look at me out here trying to make connections

1025
00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:09.320
for all of you.

1026
00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:14.040
Diane, I'm sorry.

1027
00:48:14.040 --> 00:48:16.440
Diane, if not being in the same season

1028
00:48:16.440 --> 00:48:18.240
as the guy who you're seeing exclusively

1029
00:48:18.240 --> 00:48:19.280
is the only concern,

1030
00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:21.120
how long is it realistic to give him

1031
00:48:21.120 --> 00:48:22.640
to be in the same season?

1032
00:48:22.720 --> 00:48:25.880
We need an explanation of what you mean by that.

1033
00:48:25.880 --> 00:48:26.800
What season are you in?

1034
00:48:26.800 --> 00:48:27.800
What season is he in?

1035
00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:30.200
What season are you hoping that he'll get into?

1036
00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:39.560
Diane Ward, you're the next contestant on.

1037
00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:43.960
Who wants to get roasted by Jackie?

1038
00:48:47.520 --> 00:48:49.880
You guys, I am kind.

1039
00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:53.040
So many people, listen, I'm a very direct coach

1040
00:48:53.040 --> 00:48:55.680
because you don't need anyone to sugarcoat it.

1041
00:48:55.680 --> 00:48:57.920
You need someone to tell you like it is.

1042
00:48:57.920 --> 00:49:01.120
But we have people all the time that message us

1043
00:49:01.120 --> 00:49:03.440
and are like, Jackie hurt my feelings.

1044
00:49:03.440 --> 00:49:05.800
You guys, my heart has no guile in it.

1045
00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:08.640
I would never hurt your feelings on purpose.

1046
00:49:08.640 --> 00:49:11.320
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

1047
00:49:11.320 --> 00:49:13.680
All right, so Diane's not here maybe anymore.

1048
00:49:13.680 --> 00:49:15.120
Maybe she ran away.

1049
00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:19.880
But I don't know what she means about season.

1050
00:49:19.880 --> 00:49:21.680
So I really can't answer that yet.

1051
00:49:21.680 --> 00:49:22.680
All right, let's go.

1052
00:49:22.680 --> 00:49:24.720
What apps have been good for you ladies?

1053
00:49:24.720 --> 00:49:27.760
Okay, Facebook dating has been really good

1054
00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:28.600
for a lot of people.

1055
00:49:28.600 --> 00:49:30.760
So she said she's on Facebook, that's good.

1056
00:49:32.760 --> 00:49:34.120
I was hoping that too, Elizabeth,

1057
00:49:34.120 --> 00:49:36.000
but apparently that's not right.

1058
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:39.240
You guys, by the way, we just had a very sensitive situation

1059
00:49:39.240 --> 00:49:40.280
in one of the single cities.

1060
00:49:40.280 --> 00:49:42.800
We had to remove a man from the single city.

1061
00:49:42.800 --> 00:49:44.480
We don't actually really know how he got into

1062
00:49:44.840 --> 00:49:46.560
the single city in the first place,

1063
00:49:46.560 --> 00:49:49.640
but he was actually sending messages

1064
00:49:49.640 --> 00:49:54.640
that were, we consider threatening actually

1065
00:49:55.160 --> 00:49:57.080
to a member of this community

1066
00:49:57.080 --> 00:50:00.000
and like constant harassment, finding.

1067
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.440
are her on different platforms and continuing,

1068
00:50:02.440 --> 00:50:04.280
finding her in different dating groups

1069
00:50:04.280 --> 00:50:06.560
and continuing to send messages.

1070
00:50:06.560 --> 00:50:09.240
So he has been removed and forever,

1071
00:50:09.240 --> 00:50:12.700
forever blocked and reported.

1072
00:50:12.700 --> 00:50:14.800
And so you guys, every once in a while,

1073
00:50:14.800 --> 00:50:17.000
that kind of stuff's gonna happen no matter what.

1074
00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:18.280
And so it's very important

1075
00:50:18.280 --> 00:50:20.360
that if you see something, say something.

1076
00:50:21.560 --> 00:50:24.160
The only way that we can keep our community safe,

1077
00:50:24.160 --> 00:50:26.160
you guys, we've been around for five years

1078
00:50:26.160 --> 00:50:29.000
and we've only had to remove like maybe five people

1079
00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:30.040
in five years.

1080
00:50:30.040 --> 00:50:32.280
And so I really want to encourage you,

1081
00:50:32.280 --> 00:50:33.840
if you see something, say something.

1082
00:50:33.840 --> 00:50:36.800
The reason why we've had such safe communities

1083
00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:39.080
is because people like you guys

1084
00:50:39.080 --> 00:50:41.640
are willing to report any kind of weird behavior.

1085
00:50:43.040 --> 00:50:45.440
Okay, we take it seriously.

1086
00:50:45.440 --> 00:50:47.360
I know dating apps don't take it seriously.

1087
00:50:47.360 --> 00:50:49.440
They don't remove the scammers and the spammers

1088
00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:52.040
and the, you know, it doesn't have to just be men.

1089
00:50:52.040 --> 00:50:54.360
It can be women too that are up to no good

1090
00:50:54.360 --> 00:50:57.200
and we will remove them and we will report them

1091
00:50:57.200 --> 00:51:00.760
and we will block them and we will warn everyone

1092
00:51:00.760 --> 00:51:01.600
about them.

1093
00:51:01.600 --> 00:51:05.120
We will post their face everywhere for everyone to see.

1094
00:51:05.120 --> 00:51:06.440
You know, we will do that here.

1095
00:51:06.440 --> 00:51:09.240
So don't be afraid to message us

1096
00:51:09.240 --> 00:51:12.560
if you see something that's, you know, sketchy

1097
00:51:12.560 --> 00:51:14.360
or you have some kind of weird interaction

1098
00:51:14.360 --> 00:51:16.840
with someone that you think is a red flag, okay?

1099
00:51:16.840 --> 00:51:18.120
All right, Crystal, you're up.

1100
00:51:18.120 --> 00:51:20.080
Go ahead and unmute yourself, let's go.

1101
00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:25.920
Okay, well, if this isn't the question for now and here,

1102
00:51:25.920 --> 00:51:27.120
but it kind of relates.

1103
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:30.520
So I've heard you say many times that those of us

1104
00:51:30.520 --> 00:51:32.200
that want to get married and have kids,

1105
00:51:32.200 --> 00:51:33.320
which obviously I want to get married.

1106
00:51:33.320 --> 00:51:35.800
I'm here at last year single and I want to have kids still.

1107
00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:37.480
I'm going to be 49 next month.

1108
00:51:38.360 --> 00:51:40.920
I've heard you say it multiple times that those of us

1109
00:51:40.920 --> 00:51:44.000
that have lots of love to give could, you know, foster,

1110
00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:45.200
foster kids.

1111
00:51:45.200 --> 00:51:46.240
I've heard you say, you know what?

1112
00:51:46.240 --> 00:51:48.560
And many people have said this to me over the years

1113
00:51:48.560 --> 00:51:50.440
and I hear you, maybe nobody else hears you

1114
00:51:50.440 --> 00:51:53.080
and maybe I just hear you because you say, you know,

1115
00:51:53.080 --> 00:51:55.000
some things are meant for some people.

1116
00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:58.120
But, and many people have said it to me.

1117
00:51:58.120 --> 00:52:01.680
And then you said, you know, one good parents better than,

1118
00:52:01.680 --> 00:52:03.560
you know, my parents were married for 50 years,

1119
00:52:03.560 --> 00:52:06.200
you know, that's all I knew was two parents.

1120
00:52:06.200 --> 00:52:08.960
And I struggle with it because,

1121
00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:11.720
anyways, I had a whopper of a beginning of a year.

1122
00:52:11.720 --> 00:52:14.040
And while I was, my office was flooded and stuff,

1123
00:52:14.040 --> 00:52:16.960
I did all the courses and everything to foster.

1124
00:52:16.960 --> 00:52:19.400
And I think like, for a couple of months,

1125
00:52:19.400 --> 00:52:22.280
I've just asked God, like, am I settling for second best?

1126
00:52:22.280 --> 00:52:24.520
Am I getting off on the rabbit trail?

1127
00:52:24.600 --> 00:52:26.880
Am I doing something that I shouldn't be doing

1128
00:52:26.880 --> 00:52:29.080
because I really want to get married and have kids.

1129
00:52:29.080 --> 00:52:29.920
No.

1130
00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:32.600
Okay.

1131
00:52:32.600 --> 00:52:34.960
So, I mean, you were dealing with, you know,

1132
00:52:34.960 --> 00:52:37.760
you were dealing with the situationship of some sort, right?

1133
00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:38.640
Correct me if I'm wrong.

1134
00:52:38.640 --> 00:52:39.560
You were dealing with something

1135
00:52:39.560 --> 00:52:41.120
that was kind of on again, off again,

1136
00:52:41.120 --> 00:52:43.000
or not on again, off again,

1137
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:46.280
but like you're dealing with some kind of messy situation

1138
00:52:46.280 --> 00:52:47.600
or it was a divorce or something

1139
00:52:47.600 --> 00:52:49.960
if my memory serves me correctly.

1140
00:52:49.960 --> 00:52:50.800
Yeah.

1141
00:52:50.800 --> 00:52:53.040
Well, I was one month from marriage

1142
00:52:53.040 --> 00:52:56.080
and then ended up in a, we broke that off

1143
00:52:56.080 --> 00:52:58.360
and then ended up with the person like threatening my life,

1144
00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:00.720
trying to get after me, lots of police involved

1145
00:53:00.720 --> 00:53:03.400
and all kinds of other situational things.

1146
00:53:03.400 --> 00:53:04.240
Yes.

1147
00:53:04.240 --> 00:53:05.080
Right.

1148
00:53:05.080 --> 00:53:05.920
So you, okay.

1149
00:53:05.920 --> 00:53:08.360
So thank you for jogging my memory on that.

1150
00:53:08.360 --> 00:53:11.080
So you've had a lot going on

1151
00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:14.440
and as much as we want to move forward, you know,

1152
00:53:14.440 --> 00:53:16.840
sometimes there's other things that have to happen first.

1153
00:53:16.840 --> 00:53:20.560
And so my answer to you is, is that it's not too late.

1154
00:53:20.560 --> 00:53:22.960
Now, I don't know if you biologically can have children,

1155
00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:25.640
probably not outside of a miracle,

1156
00:53:25.640 --> 00:53:26.920
but miracles do happen,

1157
00:53:26.920 --> 00:53:30.280
but there are tons of my cycle regularly every month.

1158
00:53:30.280 --> 00:53:33.400
I mean, and I've seen the doctor

1159
00:53:33.400 --> 00:53:35.960
and he's at the, what I call the,

1160
00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:37.520
whatever most people are not getting pregnant.

1161
00:53:37.520 --> 00:53:38.520
There are what I call anyways,

1162
00:53:38.520 --> 00:53:41.520
but he said I was still good, still good to have kids.

1163
00:53:41.520 --> 00:53:42.480
Oh, well, that's amazing

1164
00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:45.320
because we have another lady in this group

1165
00:53:45.320 --> 00:53:46.280
that's trying to get pregnant.

1166
00:53:46.280 --> 00:53:48.520
And they said that at that age,

1167
00:53:48.560 --> 00:53:50.920
anybody has less than a 1% chance.

1168
00:53:50.920 --> 00:53:52.920
So your doctor is telling you something completely different

1169
00:53:52.920 --> 00:53:54.280
than other doctors are telling people.

1170
00:53:54.280 --> 00:53:57.040
But once again, God can do anything.

1171
00:53:57.040 --> 00:54:01.560
And we believe in AMA or advanced maternal age miracles here.

1172
00:54:01.560 --> 00:54:04.160
God even gave us that word for this community.

1173
00:54:04.160 --> 00:54:06.320
So trust me, we're not gonna disagree,

1174
00:54:06.320 --> 00:54:09.080
but also there's lots of ways to have children

1175
00:54:09.080 --> 00:54:10.080
and parent children.

1176
00:54:10.080 --> 00:54:12.440
But at the same time,

1177
00:54:12.440 --> 00:54:14.680
I don't think that you're doing anything wrong.

1178
00:54:14.680 --> 00:54:19.680
I think that you've had a very complicated season of time

1179
00:54:20.080 --> 00:54:22.440
with this other relationship and all that stuff,

1180
00:54:22.440 --> 00:54:24.520
and then the fallout of all that.

1181
00:54:24.520 --> 00:54:26.400
And then of course, with the flooding

1182
00:54:26.400 --> 00:54:27.760
and everything that you're mentioning now,

1183
00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:30.360
it sounds like you've just really been through a lot.

1184
00:54:30.360 --> 00:54:33.560
And so I think that God healing your heart

1185
00:54:33.560 --> 00:54:36.960
and positioning you well for the future

1186
00:54:36.960 --> 00:54:39.240
is probably the most important thing.

1187
00:54:39.240 --> 00:54:41.600
And friends, I just wanna let all of you know

1188
00:54:41.640 --> 00:54:46.440
that when we really just allow God to order our steps,

1189
00:54:46.440 --> 00:54:48.720
we make our plans, we let God order our steps,

1190
00:54:48.720 --> 00:54:50.840
a lot of times we're gonna find ourselves in places

1191
00:54:50.840 --> 00:54:53.560
doing things that we didn't originally plan to do.

1192
00:54:53.560 --> 00:54:56.840
Like I'm supposed to be in Europe right now,

1193
00:54:56.840 --> 00:54:58.640
and I'm not, I'm in Austin, Texas.

1194
00:54:58.640 --> 00:55:00.160
I canceled my plane tickets.

1195
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.400
which, by the way, I got such an awesome deal on.

1196
00:55:02.400 --> 00:55:04.400
It just kills me to lose a good deal.

1197
00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:05.360
It kills me.

1198
00:55:06.560 --> 00:55:08.680
But I did get a good deal, but I let it go

1199
00:55:08.680 --> 00:55:11.360
because I need to stay here and I need to stay focused.

1200
00:55:11.360 --> 00:55:12.800
And that's not super fun,

1201
00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:14.600
but I'm gonna stay focused on the things

1202
00:55:14.600 --> 00:55:16.280
that God has in front of me.

1203
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:18.920
And so really, friends, if you're doing the things

1204
00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:20.720
that are right in front of you to do

1205
00:55:20.720 --> 00:55:23.640
and the things that you think that God has spoken to you

1206
00:55:23.640 --> 00:55:26.440
to do in this season, and if you don't know what that is,

1207
00:55:26.440 --> 00:55:29.080
just keep doing what's right in front of you

1208
00:55:29.200 --> 00:55:32.080
until something else happens.

1209
00:55:32.080 --> 00:55:33.280
I think that you're not gonna miss out

1210
00:55:33.280 --> 00:55:34.800
on your spirit, mate.

1211
00:55:34.800 --> 00:55:37.000
I don't, I don't think you are.

1212
00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:40.120
I think that sometimes we have some internal blocks

1213
00:55:40.120 --> 00:55:43.760
in meeting new people when we've had some significant trauma

1214
00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:46.560
in trusting people and kind of letting them in.

1215
00:55:46.560 --> 00:55:48.280
So that's the only thing that I can think of for you,

1216
00:55:48.280 --> 00:55:50.760
Crystal, is just making sure that you're praying into that

1217
00:55:50.760 --> 00:55:54.040
and saying, hey, God, I don't wanna come off as guarded,

1218
00:55:54.040 --> 00:55:56.280
even though because of what I just went through,

1219
00:55:56.520 --> 00:55:59.120
it makes total sense for me to be guarded.

1220
00:55:59.120 --> 00:56:01.160
I mean, obviously you trusted this person enough

1221
00:56:01.160 --> 00:56:03.360
to almost go all the way to the altar with them

1222
00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:05.680
without seeing all this other part

1223
00:56:05.680 --> 00:56:07.560
of their personality, right?

1224
00:56:07.560 --> 00:56:11.360
And so that can sometimes get internalized as,

1225
00:56:11.360 --> 00:56:15.320
I don't know if I have the best discernment

1226
00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:20.200
or I don't wanna be fooled again by someone.

1227
00:56:20.200 --> 00:56:23.160
Even if we're not consciously feeling like that

1228
00:56:23.160 --> 00:56:25.920
is what we're thinking, sometimes that can be a block.

1229
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:28.120
And so, which is completely understandable

1230
00:56:28.120 --> 00:56:30.520
when you just dodged a huge bullet, right?

1231
00:56:31.440 --> 00:56:32.960
But you're God defended.

1232
00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:35.000
I would definitely say that,

1233
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:38.280
because like I used to pick up hitchhikers as a kid

1234
00:56:38.280 --> 00:56:39.440
and I trust everyone.

1235
00:56:39.440 --> 00:56:42.160
Like when I moved to California for culinary school,

1236
00:56:42.160 --> 00:56:44.360
I let a homeless lady come live with me,

1237
00:56:44.360 --> 00:56:46.600
nine police officers and seven hours later,

1238
00:56:46.600 --> 00:56:47.680
they had her out of the house.

1239
00:56:47.680 --> 00:56:50.800
So I have this like innate trust for everyone

1240
00:56:50.800 --> 00:56:53.640
and it's gotten me in some trouble.

1241
00:56:53.640 --> 00:56:55.480
Yeah, no.

1242
00:56:55.480 --> 00:56:57.560
You guys, I just said this to someone else today,

1243
00:56:57.560 --> 00:57:00.920
actually on a VIP coaching call for my challenge,

1244
00:57:00.920 --> 00:57:03.920
but this person was saying the exact same thing as you.

1245
00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:08.640
Like they have this beautiful heart to trust people.

1246
00:57:08.640 --> 00:57:09.680
And you guys, that's a gift

1247
00:57:09.680 --> 00:57:12.080
and God doesn't want you to harden your heart.

1248
00:57:12.080 --> 00:57:14.560
But when a gift gets overextended by trauma,

1249
00:57:14.560 --> 00:57:15.680
it becomes a weakness.

1250
00:57:15.680 --> 00:57:17.640
And so we have to make sure that we understand

1251
00:57:17.640 --> 00:57:20.080
that this is not the world that we grew up in

1252
00:57:20.080 --> 00:57:23.080
when we were kids, that things are way different out here.

1253
00:57:23.080 --> 00:57:25.080
And while we can be God defended,

1254
00:57:25.880 --> 00:57:27.600
when we give our gift to the wrong people,

1255
00:57:27.600 --> 00:57:28.840
which is to trust them,

1256
00:57:28.840 --> 00:57:31.920
especially if we have a soft heart and a kind heart,

1257
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:34.200
that can get used by the wrong people.

1258
00:57:34.200 --> 00:57:36.720
And then that can be, our hearts can become hardened

1259
00:57:36.720 --> 00:57:41.280
and God doesn't want your gift to get destroyed by abuse

1260
00:57:41.280 --> 00:57:44.920
and by hurt and pain and suffering, that's needless.

1261
00:57:44.920 --> 00:57:46.760
And so let's not let it get overextended

1262
00:57:46.760 --> 00:57:49.640
and become a weakness for us and choosing the wrong people.

1263
00:57:49.640 --> 00:57:50.860
Let's use discernment.

1264
00:57:50.860 --> 00:57:52.040
That's what this gift is for.

1265
00:57:52.040 --> 00:57:53.960
I mean, sorry, that's what this group is for as well.

1266
00:57:53.960 --> 00:57:56.280
This is your part of your God defense system.

1267
00:57:56.280 --> 00:57:59.600
You guys, if you bring them here, gentlemen and ladies,

1268
00:57:59.600 --> 00:58:01.840
if you bring them here and you let us vet them out

1269
00:58:01.840 --> 00:58:03.600
as far as like, you tell us what's going on

1270
00:58:03.600 --> 00:58:05.580
in your love life, that's what Love Seat's about.

1271
00:58:05.580 --> 00:58:07.920
You tell us scenarios that you're not sure,

1272
00:58:07.920 --> 00:58:09.280
it's kind of a yellow flag.

1273
00:58:09.280 --> 00:58:11.820
We will help you know if it's a red flag.

1274
00:58:11.820 --> 00:58:14.160
We will see what you don't see, okay?

1275
00:58:14.160 --> 00:58:16.720
Especially me, I will see what you don't see.

1276
00:58:16.720 --> 00:58:18.540
And so will your group.

1277
00:58:18.540 --> 00:58:20.560
So post in the group as much as you can,

1278
00:58:20.560 --> 00:58:23.440
post in your groups, let other people weigh in.

1279
00:58:23.440 --> 00:58:24.800
Some people will be totally off.

1280
00:58:24.800 --> 00:58:26.320
They'll be going by their own heart wounds.

1281
00:58:26.320 --> 00:58:29.360
You can just chew up the meat and spit out the bones.

1282
00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:30.200
All right?

1283
00:58:30.200 --> 00:58:32.520
Don't get offended because someone's like.

1284
00:58:32.520 --> 00:58:37.000
Guys, one time, one of our, this is when we first started.

1285
00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:38.760
This sort of reminds me of this.

1286
00:58:38.760 --> 00:58:41.800
One of my students had a date with a guy.

1287
00:58:41.800 --> 00:58:43.840
It was really amazing, it was wonderful.

1288
00:58:43.840 --> 00:58:45.280
And then afterwards, you know,

1289
00:58:45.280 --> 00:58:48.080
he was supposed to plan a second date.

1290
00:58:48.080 --> 00:58:50.000
And it was just like a day later,

1291
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:51.960
she got a text message from him,

1292
00:58:51.960 --> 00:58:54.480
but it sounded like he was talking to somebody else.

1293
00:58:54.480 --> 00:58:56.240
And I forget what the text message said.

1294
00:58:56.240 --> 00:58:59.360
Like it was sent to her in error, right?

1295
00:58:59.360 --> 00:59:02.160
It wasn't meant for her, it was meant for someone else.

1296
00:59:02.160 --> 00:59:04.400
And it was talking about some other woman

1297
00:59:04.400 --> 00:59:06.280
and he wasn't sure if he wanted to take her out.

1298
00:59:06.280 --> 00:59:08.280
Well, this guy was in an exclusive relationship

1299
00:59:08.280 --> 00:59:09.360
with my student.

1300
00:59:09.360 --> 00:59:10.440
He was on the dating apps.

1301
00:59:10.440 --> 00:59:12.320
He was obviously going out with more dates

1302
00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:16.880
and maybe that message seemed to be meant for like a friend

1303
00:59:16.880 --> 00:59:18.640
or someone who was helping him weigh in

1304
00:59:18.640 --> 00:59:20.920
on making decisions about who to go out with

1305
00:59:20.920 --> 00:59:22.560
and who not to go out with.

1306
00:59:22.560 --> 00:59:27.560
She posted that message in her community.

1307
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:30.720
And some other woman commented on it and said,

1308
00:59:30.720 --> 00:59:32.400
I think he's a human trafficker.

1309
00:59:34.960 --> 00:59:37.600
And I was like, what?

1310
00:59:38.800 --> 00:59:40.400
And then another woman jumped on and said,

1311
00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:42.520
oh, you know, there's a lot of human trafficking right now.

1312
00:59:42.520 --> 00:59:43.880
You might wanna be careful.

1313
00:59:43.880 --> 00:59:45.800
And then before it was over with,

1314
00:59:45.800 --> 00:59:48.360
this man was a human trafficker.

1315
00:59:48.360 --> 00:59:51.120
He had gone out with her because he was grooming her

1316
00:59:51.120 --> 00:59:54.200
and secretly planning to abduct her.

1317
00:59:54.200 --> 00:59:56.920
It was a hot mess, you guys.

1318
00:59:56.920 --> 00:59:58.720
And that just shows you what happens.

1319
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.420
Well, we got a bunch of broken hearted people in the same chat with each other.

1320
01:00:04.420 --> 01:00:07.460
Now it turned out that what I thought was true was true.

1321
01:00:07.460 --> 01:00:10.940
He was just trying to figure out, you know, who he wanted to go on second dates with.

1322
01:00:10.940 --> 01:00:14.060
He was helping that someone else was going to weigh in and help him figure that out.

1323
01:00:14.060 --> 01:00:17.900
Guys, just because you meet someone on an app doesn't mean they're exclusive to you,

1324
01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:18.900
right?

1325
01:00:18.900 --> 01:00:19.900
He wasn't up to anything nefarious.

1326
01:00:19.900 --> 01:00:22.720
He just texted the wrong thing to the wrong person.

1327
01:00:22.720 --> 01:00:28.020
So anyway, let's make sure that our gift of intuition doesn't become the gift of suspicion

1328
01:00:28.020 --> 01:00:30.920
and just take us down a crazy road.

1329
01:00:30.920 --> 01:00:32.580
So Crystal, I don't think you're doing anything wrong.

1330
01:00:32.580 --> 01:00:34.220
I'm glad to see you back in the community.

1331
01:00:34.220 --> 01:00:37.600
I do believe this is your time and this is your last year single.

1332
01:00:37.600 --> 01:00:42.020
So just pray and to say, Hey God, is there anything that would cause me to seem closed

1333
01:00:42.020 --> 01:00:46.540
off to people that would want to meet me or want to talk to me?

1334
01:00:46.540 --> 01:00:52.320
I know that you're super friendly and nice, but we're all girls.

1335
01:00:52.320 --> 01:00:57.260
So what is there anything that would make you seem closed off to a man who would want

1336
01:00:57.260 --> 01:01:01.800
to talk to you and get to know you, right?

1337
01:01:01.800 --> 01:01:05.820
Also ladies, I mean, I know Crystal's really into health and wellness, so she's really

1338
01:01:05.820 --> 01:01:11.340
in shape or taking care of herself and all the things, but sometimes it can be off-putting

1339
01:01:11.340 --> 01:01:16.320
if you are not presenting yourself well in person.

1340
01:01:16.320 --> 01:01:21.620
And I don't just mean like you're a little overweight or, you know, I'm talking about

1341
01:01:21.620 --> 01:01:27.180
like if you have kind of a stern look, if you have like a kind of a stern look to yourself.

1342
01:01:27.220 --> 01:01:33.860
So be careful that, you know, your outer appearance is open and welcoming to people.

1343
01:01:33.860 --> 01:01:36.100
Like Melissa Dawn is a perfect example.

1344
01:01:36.100 --> 01:01:38.420
She's very feminine in her presentation.

1345
01:01:38.420 --> 01:01:39.540
Okay.

1346
01:01:39.540 --> 01:01:41.820
She's very feminine in her presentation.

1347
01:01:41.820 --> 01:01:45.020
She's got on purple, she's got on a color, not just black.

1348
01:01:45.020 --> 01:01:46.020
Okay.

1349
01:01:46.020 --> 01:01:48.300
Hello darkness, my old friend.

1350
01:01:48.300 --> 01:01:51.260
We don't want all black all the time.

1351
01:01:51.260 --> 01:01:52.660
And trust me, I love black.

1352
01:01:52.660 --> 01:01:56.100
It's my favorite color, non-color, absence of color.

1353
01:01:56.100 --> 01:02:00.700
So she's got on some pretty, she's got a pretty necklace on, she's got a pretty smile

1354
01:02:00.700 --> 01:02:02.860
on, she's got on some makeup, but not too much makeup.

1355
01:02:02.860 --> 01:02:05.540
Her hair is nicely coiffed.

1356
01:02:05.540 --> 01:02:09.380
Let's be welcoming, smile.

1357
01:02:09.380 --> 01:02:13.780
Remember that after a certain age, your marionette lines start to form and it makes you look

1358
01:02:13.780 --> 01:02:15.980
like you're in a perpetual frown.

1359
01:02:15.980 --> 01:02:16.980
Okay.

1360
01:02:16.980 --> 01:02:23.100
We call it RBF for a reason and that the main middle word there are what men are very afraid

1361
01:02:23.100 --> 01:02:24.380
they're going to marry.

1362
01:02:24.380 --> 01:02:29.660
So let's make sure that we're smiling, smiling.

1363
01:02:29.660 --> 01:02:30.660
Okay.

1364
01:02:30.660 --> 01:02:38.220
Pretend like you're a tourist from another country that thinks all Americans do is smile

1365
01:02:38.220 --> 01:02:40.180
and you're in New York City.

1366
01:02:40.180 --> 01:02:41.180
Smiling.

1367
01:02:41.180 --> 01:02:42.180
Okay.

1368
01:02:42.180 --> 01:02:47.820
So Crystal, I think, I think that, I think you're, I think this, uh, intersection of

1369
01:02:47.820 --> 01:02:50.060
you and your spirit mates just right around the corner, babe.

1370
01:02:50.060 --> 01:02:51.860
I receive it.

1371
01:02:51.860 --> 01:02:52.860
Okay.

1372
01:02:52.860 --> 01:02:53.860
Eva, you're up.

1373
01:02:54.460 --> 01:02:56.020
People are advocating for you, Eva.

1374
01:02:56.020 --> 01:02:57.020
They're like, take Eva.

1375
01:02:57.020 --> 01:02:58.020
She's been waiting forever.

1376
01:02:58.020 --> 01:02:59.020
Hey, I didn't know that.

1377
01:02:59.020 --> 01:03:00.020
Yeah.

1378
01:03:00.020 --> 01:03:01.020
In the chat.

1379
01:03:01.020 --> 01:03:02.020
It's like Eva, Eva.

1380
01:03:02.020 --> 01:03:03.020
That's funny.

1381
01:03:03.020 --> 01:03:04.020
Okay.

1382
01:03:04.020 --> 01:03:05.020
So I met this guy in community.

1383
01:03:05.020 --> 01:03:08.100
I'm part of like two, two Christian singles group.

1384
01:03:08.100 --> 01:03:27.260
And so I met, I saw him for the first time a year ago and just, um, we've done, uh, stuff

1385
01:03:27.260 --> 01:03:32.500
like disc golf, um, uh, bowling and stuff like that.

1386
01:03:32.500 --> 01:03:36.020
So we really started talking in the events like December.

1387
01:03:36.020 --> 01:03:43.620
Anyway, we started talking, talking in April, like we exchanged numbers and, um, we started

1388
01:03:43.620 --> 01:03:51.900
going on dates in May and he's been super consistent, super sweet, really nice.

1389
01:03:51.900 --> 01:03:52.900
He plays piano.

1390
01:03:52.900 --> 01:03:55.020
He's even composing a song for me.

1391
01:03:55.020 --> 01:03:56.020
Wow.

1392
01:03:56.020 --> 01:03:58.020
It's like a unicorn.

1393
01:03:58.020 --> 01:04:02.060
Um, he's an introvert though.

1394
01:04:02.060 --> 01:04:08.260
He's never been married and conversations I've had, um, all of his relationships have

1395
01:04:08.260 --> 01:04:15.180
been very short and like never been close to getting engaged or anything like that.

1396
01:04:15.180 --> 01:04:23.420
Uh, so, and, and he's an only child, but he's a lot, he's very solitaire.

1397
01:04:23.420 --> 01:04:28.940
Let's say he's, he's, he has his own business for home and, um, he does a lot of things

1398
01:04:28.940 --> 01:04:29.940
by himself.

1399
01:04:29.940 --> 01:04:30.940
Gotcha.

1400
01:04:31.220 --> 01:04:36.420
So, um, July 4th, I asked him what he was going to do and I knew he was going to say

1401
01:04:36.420 --> 01:04:42.940
nothing and I was going to my cousins and I asked him because I hate when single people

1402
01:04:42.940 --> 01:04:45.260
are by themselves on dates like that.

1403
01:04:45.260 --> 01:04:48.900
And I say, Hey, I'm going to my cousins.

1404
01:04:48.900 --> 01:04:54.460
If you want, you can go, no pressure because it's my family, you know, but if you want,

1405
01:04:54.460 --> 01:04:55.460
you can go.

1406
01:04:55.460 --> 01:05:00.020
And he went and as the date, so we went to.

1407
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.240
my cousins for burgers. And then later, we went to a park to see the fireworks. So it

1408
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:12.200
started like at 3pm. By the time everything ended, and he took brought me home. It was

1409
01:05:12.200 --> 01:05:19.120
11pm. But as the day progressed, like he was, he was not himself as the day progressed.

1410
01:05:19.120 --> 01:05:25.280
Like I didn't see the spark in his eye like still interested in me or like there was a

1411
01:05:25.280 --> 01:05:32.320
time that we in the park, we talked. And I was like, I don't see like this is gonna go

1412
01:05:32.320 --> 01:05:40.520
like I couldn't see that this is gonna go anywhere. So, so since then, and then when

1413
01:05:40.520 --> 01:05:49.600
he left, like his his face, he just look like, I gotta get out of here. So since then, the

1414
01:05:49.600 --> 01:05:57.400
communication has diminished considerably. And so like this morning, he's just here something

1415
01:05:57.400 --> 01:06:08.440
like we've talked every single day since April 27. And but like, it's shorter. And we do

1416
01:06:08.440 --> 01:06:16.280
have a movie date that he bought the tickets a couple weeks ago, on the 20th. So but nothing

1417
01:06:16.320 --> 01:06:23.120
in between from here until then. So I don't know if I should say anything. I mean, I don't

1418
01:06:23.120 --> 01:06:26.880
know. Okay, so let's talk about dismissive avoidance, because that's what you got right

1419
01:06:26.880 --> 01:06:31.480
here on your hands. Okay, let's talk about them. A lot of times they're not bad people. But

1420
01:06:31.480 --> 01:06:36.560
they're people that for whatever reason, have learned to have a vibrant inner world. You

1421
01:06:36.560 --> 01:06:40.800
know, my husband, David, you guys love him, you know, you love him, but he's a dismissive

1422
01:06:40.800 --> 01:06:47.120
avoid it. And the reason why he became that way is because he was an only child. He was an only

1423
01:06:47.120 --> 01:06:53.440
child. And he was an only child during the 70s and 80s, where parents were gone a lot. And so

1424
01:06:53.440 --> 01:06:58.440
he was an only child, his mom and his stepdad were gone a lot. So he was left alone a lot. And

1425
01:06:58.440 --> 01:07:08.360
so he created this, you know, self self self soothing type of life, where he's by himself

1426
01:07:08.360 --> 01:07:14.120
playing with, you know, building Lego worlds and doing the things that he does. And so you

1427
01:07:14.120 --> 01:07:20.880
are this vibrant ray of light, like I am, that came into my husband's life and said, Hey, you

1428
01:07:20.880 --> 01:07:27.680
don't have to be alone, come and let me share your inner world. And that's scary. Okay. The

1429
01:07:27.680 --> 01:07:31.280
good thing about my husband is that he was married before me, and he was married young. So he

1430
01:07:31.280 --> 01:07:37.120
was already kind of used to letting someone else into that world. But it's not easy for him. And

1431
01:07:37.120 --> 01:07:42.960
it's not easy for this guy. And so he probably has a social invulnerability hangover. All right,

1432
01:07:42.960 --> 01:07:48.600
just being around people for that length of time is your family like you? I don't know. But if they

1433
01:07:48.600 --> 01:07:54.520
are, then that was just a lot of movement, a lot of people. And then that's a long date as well.

1434
01:07:54.560 --> 01:08:00.600
And so I think that he probably just got overwhelmed. I don't think that it's that he

1435
01:08:00.600 --> 01:08:08.680
doesn't like you. I think that how old is he? He's in his 50s. I'm 57. He's 56. Yeah. So he's

1436
01:08:08.680 --> 01:08:13.160
made it this long without ever being in a serious relationship. None of his relationships last long.

1437
01:08:13.480 --> 01:08:18.120
And so the real question you need to be asking him if you guys talk again, is like, what do you

1438
01:08:18.120 --> 01:08:23.279
want? You know, are you a marriage minded person? Are you hoping to share your life with someone

1439
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:27.439
someday? Even if it's not me? I mean, it's a fair question. At this point, you guys had hung out

1440
01:08:27.439 --> 01:08:31.399
enough that you can say what is it that you feel like you're looking for in life as far as

1441
01:08:31.399 --> 01:08:37.720
relationship is concerned? Because a lot of times also dismissive avoidance, especially ones that

1442
01:08:37.720 --> 01:08:46.040
have never been in relationship, they tell themselves that they may not be good at relationship. And so

1443
01:08:46.040 --> 01:08:49.960
they get scared and they kind of pull back because they don't want to disappoint anyone. And also

1444
01:08:49.960 --> 01:08:54.040
they tell themselves that if I'm kind of meant to be in relationship that I'll find someone that

1445
01:08:54.040 --> 01:09:00.800
will be easy with that. It'll just be easy to be with them. And we all know that that's a laugh,

1446
01:09:00.800 --> 01:09:06.200
right? Because relationships not easy. So Eva, if I were you, sounds like you really like some

1447
01:09:06.200 --> 01:09:14.880
parts of him. If I were you, I would definitely just ask him, you know, what he's hoping, you

1448
01:09:14.880 --> 01:09:20.720
know, will happen in, you know, in his relationship part of his life. Like, is he looking for, you

1449
01:09:20.720 --> 01:09:31.720
know, marriage? I would ask him that. And should I ask him about 4th of July or not? I mean, I think

1450
01:09:31.720 --> 01:09:36.880
you kind of already know what happened on 4th of July. You know, he thought he could go and handle

1451
01:09:36.880 --> 01:09:40.680
it. I mean, was there anything that happened that you thought could have turned him off or made him

1452
01:09:40.680 --> 01:09:45.319
act like that? Was there anything at all where he was made to feel uncomfortable in any way, shape

1453
01:09:45.319 --> 01:09:54.160
or form? Well, um, my family, we're all Hispanic, and our first language is English. I did tell him

1454
01:09:54.160 --> 01:09:59.120
don't, don't be turned off. If you hear Spanish, we're not talking about you. It's our it's our,

1455
01:09:59.240 --> 01:10:00.080
you know, original.

1456
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.800
setting. Yeah. And out of all, all of us there, well, except

1457
01:10:04.800 --> 01:10:10.080
for the, it was just my cousin, his wife, and the two kids. So,

1458
01:10:12.040 --> 01:10:16.320
and myself, that was it. And so I said, if you hear Spanish,

1459
01:10:16.320 --> 01:10:19.800
don't be, you know, don't feel like it's just like, you know,

1460
01:10:19.800 --> 01:10:24.000
it's the first setting in our in our brain. So but everybody was

1461
01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:26.320
speaking English, I made sure I was speaking English the whole

1462
01:10:26.320 --> 01:10:30.160
time. But on the way to the park, there was a lot of Spanish

1463
01:10:30.160 --> 01:10:34.240
going on. And my cousin is very choleric temperament. And he was

1464
01:10:34.240 --> 01:10:38.400
getting on my nephew's case for not turning to the right place

1465
01:10:38.400 --> 01:10:42.320
or whatever. So I don't know if that bothered him. But it was

1466
01:10:42.320 --> 01:10:45.480
just on the way to the park for the I bet it was just I bet it

1467
01:10:45.480 --> 01:10:49.560
was just social overwhelm, honestly. I mean, that's a long

1468
01:10:49.560 --> 01:10:56.480
day. Yeah. So it's a long date. He's with strangers. He's with

1469
01:10:56.480 --> 01:11:00.120
strangers besides you. I wouldn't I don't think there's

1470
01:11:00.120 --> 01:11:03.280
anything personal in that. But if you want to say to him, hey,

1471
01:11:04.000 --> 01:11:08.400
I noticed, you know, I noticed, I think that I noticed, I think

1472
01:11:08.400 --> 01:11:12.400
I noticed by the end of fourth of July, that you were kind of,

1473
01:11:12.440 --> 01:11:16.680
you know, ready to go home, you know, what, you know, was

1474
01:11:16.720 --> 01:11:20.680
everything okay? You know, you can ask that, if you want, make

1475
01:11:20.680 --> 01:11:23.520
sure that you say, I think I noticed this, not that you did,

1476
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:28.280
because you could be wrong. That could just be his tired face.

1477
01:11:29.520 --> 01:11:32.960
You don't know. We don't know. But I think that I think it's

1478
01:11:32.960 --> 01:11:35.280
time for you to get a little bit more clarity about where this is

1479
01:11:35.280 --> 01:11:37.960
going, or if it's going anywhere. Because quite frankly,

1480
01:11:38.120 --> 01:11:43.080
you don't got time to waste. Yes. All right. Okay. Someone

1481
01:11:43.240 --> 01:11:48.400
you're Thank you. Thank you for volunteering. Appreciate it. I

1482
01:11:48.400 --> 01:11:51.120
want to also just say to the person in the chat that said,

1483
01:11:51.120 --> 01:11:54.760
Hey, can we date guys that are younger than us? Yes. How much

1484
01:11:54.760 --> 01:11:57.720
younger? Well, depends on how young you want to go. Do you

1485
01:11:57.720 --> 01:12:01.120
want to be someone's mama. So you got to make sure that you're

1486
01:12:01.120 --> 01:12:03.960
matching seasons that you're matching maturity levels. There

1487
01:12:03.960 --> 01:12:06.240
are some people that came out of their mother's womb, super

1488
01:12:06.240 --> 01:12:09.400
mature. There's some men, I know that we think men are just

1489
01:12:09.400 --> 01:12:12.280
immature. And we're always told, you know, men mature slower than

1490
01:12:12.280 --> 01:12:14.480
women. And I think that's one of the reasons why women don't

1491
01:12:14.480 --> 01:12:17.080
want to date younger men. Because it's been drilled into

1492
01:12:17.080 --> 01:12:20.920
our heads that men mature at a slower pace than us. So why

1493
01:12:20.920 --> 01:12:23.640
would I want to, you know, get with someone younger than me, I

1494
01:12:23.640 --> 01:12:26.800
want someone more mature, right? I don't want someone immature.

1495
01:12:27.440 --> 01:12:32.400
And I think that men have been really just mis misrepresented

1496
01:12:32.400 --> 01:12:35.160
in that way. There's a lot of really mature men, there's some

1497
01:12:35.160 --> 01:12:36.720
men that came out of their mother's womb wearing a

1498
01:12:36.720 --> 01:12:41.280
three-piece suit, okay, ready to go off and build their fortunes.

1499
01:12:41.600 --> 01:12:45.200
And so it just depends on what the guy is, it's got to be a

1500
01:12:45.200 --> 01:12:50.560
case by case basis. How young is too young? Definitely under 18

1501
01:12:50.560 --> 01:12:54.840
is too young, okay? You don't want to be a panther or a cougar

1502
01:12:54.880 --> 01:12:58.160
or cheetah or whatever we're calling ourselves nowadays. But

1503
01:12:58.160 --> 01:13:04.200
at the same time, it's about season, it's about future plans

1504
01:13:04.200 --> 01:13:07.320
and desires. It's about attraction, physical, mental,

1505
01:13:07.320 --> 01:13:12.400
emotional, spiritual, instead of age. That's what's important.

1506
01:13:12.640 --> 01:13:13.640
All right, Nora, you're up.

1507
01:13:14.840 --> 01:13:16.880
Hello, coming to you from my car.

1508
01:13:19.080 --> 01:13:23.880
So Tiffany said he's 78 and I'm 47. Wait, someone was asking for

1509
01:13:23.880 --> 01:13:26.360
a guy that was younger than them. So Tiffany, you're dating

1510
01:13:26.360 --> 01:13:27.480
a 78 year old?

1511
01:13:28.520 --> 01:13:37.280
I wouldn't say dating because we hang out in the suburbs, 50

1512
01:13:37.280 --> 01:13:38.800
miles away from my area.

1513
01:13:39.360 --> 01:13:40.000
Okay.

1514
01:13:41.600 --> 01:13:47.960
We're not in the same seasons. He's a very generous man. But I

1515
01:13:47.960 --> 01:13:51.240
feel, okay, I feel like a sex worker every time we go out. I'm

1516
01:13:51.240 --> 01:13:53.000
like, these people probably think I'm a prostitute.

1517
01:13:54.440 --> 01:13:58.280
Wait, is he a different skin color?

1518
01:13:58.360 --> 01:13:58.760
Yeah.

1519
01:13:59.440 --> 01:14:00.440
He's a white man?

1520
01:14:00.520 --> 01:14:00.840
Yeah.

1521
01:14:01.280 --> 01:14:03.840
You guys, this is a big thing right now. I've been following

1522
01:14:03.840 --> 01:14:06.880
this chick on TikTok talking about the soft life and she's

1523
01:14:06.880 --> 01:14:10.120
this really pretty, older black woman. She's not young and she's

1524
01:14:10.120 --> 01:14:13.160
married to a much, she's married to an even older white man and

1525
01:14:13.160 --> 01:14:18.200
everywhere they go, people are like, what's going on here? I'm

1526
01:14:18.200 --> 01:14:20.720
down with it. Do you like him for any other reason besides his

1527
01:14:20.720 --> 01:14:22.640
suburban-ness?

1528
01:14:24.200 --> 01:14:28.320
He's very, very generous financially, which he would have

1529
01:14:28.320 --> 01:14:34.600
to be because there's no other reason for him not to be. He's

1530
01:14:34.600 --> 01:14:38.160
very smart. So he gives a lot of tips and, hey, have you

1531
01:14:38.160 --> 01:14:41.080
considered this? And, hey, what about this? But I told him, I

1532
01:14:41.080 --> 01:14:43.880
said, look, my son is six. I need somebody that's going to

1533
01:14:43.880 --> 01:14:46.880
run around with him. And I would love to have another child. And

1534
01:14:46.880 --> 01:14:49.440
he was like, I don't know. I mean, I could possibly have

1535
01:14:49.440 --> 01:14:53.520
another child. And I was like, hey, not with me. I wasn't

1536
01:14:53.520 --> 01:14:57.000
talking about it. I'm just saying in general. But he has

1537
01:14:57.000 --> 01:14:59.840
children older than I am. And they're very

1538
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.300
Like, hey, what is going on here?

1539
01:15:02.300 --> 01:15:03.740
I'm like, what do you think is going on here?

1540
01:15:03.740 --> 01:15:04.700
Well, let's be honest.

1541
01:15:04.700 --> 01:15:08.260
You know, he's a nice man, but I can't see.

1542
01:15:08.260 --> 01:15:09.700
Jackie, he almost tried to kiss me

1543
01:15:09.700 --> 01:15:12.340
and almost jumped in the street, okay?

1544
01:15:14.340 --> 01:15:16.440
So you're repulsed by him?

1545
01:15:16.440 --> 01:15:17.660
I'm not repulsed by him.

1546
01:15:17.660 --> 01:15:21.500
I just don't want to see him eat or kiss me on the cheek.

1547
01:15:21.500 --> 01:15:23.260
Other than that, it's fine.

1548
01:15:23.260 --> 01:15:24.620
We can hang out.

1549
01:15:24.620 --> 01:15:25.460
We can laugh.

1550
01:15:25.460 --> 01:15:27.300
No, honey, you got a sugar daddy.

1551
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:30.480
Well, I don't want to call him a sugar daddy

1552
01:15:30.480 --> 01:15:34.280
because maybe he is a sugar daddy.

1553
01:15:34.280 --> 01:15:36.340
Listen, you cannot see the man eat

1554
01:15:36.340 --> 01:15:38.560
and the thought of him even kissing you on the cheek

1555
01:15:38.560 --> 01:15:40.040
makes you want to jump in the street?

1556
01:15:40.040 --> 01:15:40.880
No.

1557
01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:43.200
He's really nice.

1558
01:15:44.520 --> 01:15:46.120
He can be nice all he wants to,

1559
01:15:46.120 --> 01:15:48.760
but if he puts his teeth in a cup at nighttime,

1560
01:15:48.760 --> 01:15:51.060
it's just not going to be the thing.

1561
01:15:52.160 --> 01:15:54.200
He just asked me, like, hey, you know,

1562
01:15:54.200 --> 01:15:56.280
do you see us being committed?

1563
01:15:56.300 --> 01:15:57.940
I'm like, I just don't see it.

1564
01:15:57.940 --> 01:16:01.860
So I think he's kind of pushing a little bit further,

1565
01:16:02.700 --> 01:16:06.460
but I just feel like, oh my gosh, I'm too embarrassed.

1566
01:16:06.460 --> 01:16:08.380
I feel very embarrassed.

1567
01:16:08.380 --> 01:16:10.020
Okay, I hear what you're saying.

1568
01:16:10.020 --> 01:16:14.100
And also, you know, maybe this is the,

1569
01:16:14.100 --> 01:16:18.620
maybe this is the, what's it called?

1570
01:16:18.620 --> 01:16:22.780
The gateway drug to just getting you

1571
01:16:22.780 --> 01:16:26.140
into a different mindset about a different type of man

1572
01:16:27.000 --> 01:16:30.160
that maybe you could be with that's a few years younger,

1573
01:16:30.160 --> 01:16:32.520
but also well-established, okay?

1574
01:16:32.520 --> 01:16:34.520
You're a career woman, you're well-established,

1575
01:16:34.520 --> 01:16:35.680
you've worked hard for what you have,

1576
01:16:35.680 --> 01:16:38.140
so well-established, generous, kind,

1577
01:16:38.140 --> 01:16:39.520
but then has those other attributes

1578
01:16:39.520 --> 01:16:41.240
of being able to run around

1579
01:16:41.240 --> 01:16:43.660
and that you want to eat with him and also kiss him.

1580
01:16:43.660 --> 01:16:44.780
Those would be important.

1581
01:16:44.780 --> 01:16:46.120
Those are important things.

1582
01:16:46.120 --> 01:16:46.960
Absolutely.

1583
01:16:46.960 --> 01:16:48.700
All right, but listen, if he's a great guy,

1584
01:16:48.700 --> 01:16:51.760
we have plenty of women who are more in that age bracket

1585
01:16:51.760 --> 01:16:55.080
that probably would want to kiss him on the mouth.

1586
01:16:55.080 --> 01:16:55.920
Oh my God.

1587
01:16:56.660 --> 01:16:59.340
You know what, I will suggest our group.

1588
01:16:59.340 --> 01:17:00.700
I will, I'll do that tomorrow.

1589
01:17:00.700 --> 01:17:01.900
Is he a believer?

1590
01:17:01.900 --> 01:17:02.740
Yes.

1591
01:17:02.740 --> 01:17:03.900
Oh, perfect, yeah.

1592
01:17:05.140 --> 01:17:06.540
All right, Tiffany.

1593
01:17:06.540 --> 01:17:07.660
I'll keep you posted.

1594
01:17:07.660 --> 01:17:11.300
But I need to, I'll Instagram you that lady's account

1595
01:17:11.300 --> 01:17:12.220
because it's good.

1596
01:17:13.100 --> 01:17:14.860
Her Instagram account, you got to watch it.

1597
01:17:14.860 --> 01:17:15.700
Okay.

1598
01:17:15.700 --> 01:17:16.520
All right.

1599
01:17:16.520 --> 01:17:17.360
All right.

1600
01:17:17.360 --> 01:17:21.460
No, I can think of a million inappropriate things to say

1601
01:17:21.460 --> 01:17:22.300
that I'm not going to say.

1602
01:17:22.300 --> 01:17:25.460
Okay, so Nora, it's your turn.

1603
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:26.840
Hello.

1604
01:17:26.840 --> 01:17:27.660
Hi.

1605
01:17:27.660 --> 01:17:28.500
Hi.

1606
01:17:28.500 --> 01:17:29.340
Okay.

1607
01:17:29.340 --> 01:17:30.160
This group is so funny.

1608
01:17:30.160 --> 01:17:31.000
I love you guys.

1609
01:17:31.000 --> 01:17:32.080
Okay, but wait, I want to just reply.

1610
01:17:32.080 --> 01:17:34.120
The girl, the woman that said she's 51

1611
01:17:34.120 --> 01:17:36.880
and she's getting 39 year old guys,

1612
01:17:36.880 --> 01:17:40.160
men are not a really good judge of age, okay?

1613
01:17:40.160 --> 01:17:41.200
And let's just face it.

1614
01:17:41.200 --> 01:17:43.740
Gen X is out here aging like fine wine.

1615
01:17:43.740 --> 01:17:45.000
We're looking good.

1616
01:17:45.000 --> 01:17:47.040
All right, so they just think that you're pretty

1617
01:17:47.040 --> 01:17:48.320
and that's good and that's awesome.

1618
01:17:48.320 --> 01:17:49.480
But you have to make sure

1619
01:17:49.480 --> 01:17:50.960
if you're going to date a much younger man

1620
01:17:50.960 --> 01:17:54.000
and you're beyond childbearing eight years

1621
01:17:54.020 --> 01:17:56.620
and you're not going to have any babies

1622
01:17:56.620 --> 01:17:58.860
that you tell them that just right from the beginning.

1623
01:17:58.860 --> 01:18:00.180
Cause if you say the age difference,

1624
01:18:00.180 --> 01:18:01.820
they're gonna be like, oh, I don't care.

1625
01:18:01.820 --> 01:18:04.660
But say, hey, but you know, the womb is closed for business.

1626
01:18:04.660 --> 01:18:06.000
So if you're wanting to have kids

1627
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:08.060
then I'm not the person that you should be pursuing.

1628
01:18:08.060 --> 01:18:10.900
And it really, that's just an important conversation to have

1629
01:18:10.900 --> 01:18:13.200
when you have a much younger man and an older woman.

1630
01:18:13.200 --> 01:18:14.040
That's all.

1631
01:18:14.040 --> 01:18:15.860
All right, go ahead, Nora.

1632
01:18:15.860 --> 01:18:16.680
Hello.

1633
01:18:16.680 --> 01:18:17.520
Okay.

1634
01:18:17.520 --> 01:18:18.860
So I'm going on a date tomorrow

1635
01:18:18.860 --> 01:18:20.820
with a guy that I matched with on Hinge.

1636
01:18:20.820 --> 01:18:24.600
And I, he told me like right off the bat

1637
01:18:24.600 --> 01:18:28.800
that he's like a father figure to the son of his ex.

1638
01:18:28.800 --> 01:18:30.440
And like, he's not his, like,

1639
01:18:30.440 --> 01:18:34.040
I guess the son never met his biological dad.

1640
01:18:34.040 --> 01:18:36.920
And so, and I don't know, like,

1641
01:18:36.920 --> 01:18:38.600
what the nature of his relationship with his ex was

1642
01:18:38.600 --> 01:18:39.960
if they were living together or what,

1643
01:18:39.960 --> 01:18:41.800
it sounds like they might've been.

1644
01:18:42.720 --> 01:18:44.920
But yeah, he's basically like, he's the,

1645
01:18:44.920 --> 01:18:46.420
I don't have any rights,

1646
01:18:46.420 --> 01:18:50.120
but like, I want to give him a sense of family.

1647
01:18:50.140 --> 01:18:51.940
And so like, he's basically my son.

1648
01:18:51.940 --> 01:18:52.780
And so like-

1649
01:18:52.780 --> 01:18:55.180
Okay, how long was he, how long was he with her for?

1650
01:18:55.180 --> 01:18:56.020
I don't know.

1651
01:18:56.020 --> 01:18:56.840
Like, it's a first date.

1652
01:18:56.840 --> 01:18:58.700
So he just told me this over a voice memo

1653
01:18:58.700 --> 01:19:00.820
and he was just like kind of getting it out of the way.

1654
01:19:00.820 --> 01:19:02.780
Like, I don't know if this is a deal breaker.

1655
01:19:02.780 --> 01:19:05.180
And my response was, well, I really value family.

1656
01:19:05.180 --> 01:19:06.140
I can tell you do too.

1657
01:19:06.140 --> 01:19:08.100
I mean, that's, that speaks a lot of you.

1658
01:19:08.100 --> 01:19:11.340
I don't know how I feel about that particular scenario.

1659
01:19:11.340 --> 01:19:13.620
There's just a lot, there's a lot of information

1660
01:19:13.620 --> 01:19:14.860
because I know a lot of people

1661
01:19:14.860 --> 01:19:18.340
that didn't marry the person that they dated for years

1662
01:19:18.340 --> 01:19:19.440
and even kind of, you know,

1663
01:19:19.440 --> 01:19:21.320
in some cases lived with for years

1664
01:19:21.320 --> 01:19:24.200
and they really are the only mother or father

1665
01:19:24.200 --> 01:19:25.880
that that child ever knew.

1666
01:19:25.880 --> 01:19:27.800
So you need to know more.

1667
01:19:27.800 --> 01:19:29.720
Yeah, and so I guess my question is like,

1668
01:19:29.720 --> 01:19:32.520
what kind of questions make sense to ask about that?

1669
01:19:32.520 --> 01:19:33.800
Especially early on.

1670
01:19:33.800 --> 01:19:34.760
I mean, it's going to be a first date.

1671
01:19:34.760 --> 01:19:35.580
He seems cool.

1672
01:19:35.580 --> 01:19:37.520
I actually, I matched with him on Hinge,

1673
01:19:37.520 --> 01:19:39.840
but I met him like 10 years ago in grad school

1674
01:19:39.840 --> 01:19:41.040
and I thought he was so cute.

1675
01:19:41.040 --> 01:19:43.080
And then I like recognized him.

1676
01:19:43.080 --> 01:19:46.400
Yeah, but the thing with him is I don't,

1677
01:19:46.400 --> 01:19:47.880
I wouldn't have swiped on him

1678
01:19:48.380 --> 01:19:49.220
unless I had recognized him

1679
01:19:49.220 --> 01:19:50.780
because like he didn't even list

1680
01:19:50.780 --> 01:19:52.340
that he was a Christian in his bio.

1681
01:19:52.340 --> 01:19:53.740
And it said like he was open

1682
01:19:53.740 --> 01:19:56.340
to a long-term relationship, comma, open to short.

1683
01:19:56.340 --> 01:19:58.100
So I'm like, he might not be aligned to my values,

1684
01:19:58.100 --> 01:20:00.500
but I was just curious if he was the same person.

1685
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.560
and he was and I was like hey just so you know like I was curious about if you have a faith

1686
01:20:04.560 --> 01:20:08.400
background I'm a Christian that's really central to my life like do you have one because that's

1687
01:20:08.400 --> 01:20:11.600
just I don't want to waste your time but the reason why I'm asking because I recognize you

1688
01:20:11.600 --> 01:20:14.880
and so he was like yeah I was born and raised Roman Catholic I go to church it is important

1689
01:20:14.880 --> 01:20:19.600
to me I guess I just I assume that people don't read my bio so I didn't put it I don't know so

1690
01:20:19.600 --> 01:20:24.000
like I don't know quite where he is with his faith if we really are aligned but he seems super nice

1691
01:20:24.000 --> 01:20:27.760
and then so that's why I'm going out with him but I'm just like so there's a few things where I'm

1692
01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:32.960
like I don't know how this is going to be and also I guess my fear is if everything else worked

1693
01:20:32.960 --> 01:20:36.960
out but with the son like could there be some tie with his ex or like he would get back together

1694
01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:40.880
with her I don't like I think there's well I mean those are the questions if you get to know him

1695
01:20:40.880 --> 01:20:47.040
you know first of all because he's not this this child's biological father how long has he been in

1696
01:20:47.040 --> 01:20:52.960
his life did he raise him from birth why did they break up and because he doesn't have legal rights

1697
01:20:52.960 --> 01:20:58.720
of visitation you know has she given him rights because I'm going to tell you if she really has

1698
01:20:58.720 --> 01:21:05.120
moved on moved on and she gets in a relationship or gets remarried it's more likely that the man

1699
01:21:05.120 --> 01:21:11.280
she marries isn't going to want that yeah because he's not his dad and he's not going to want just

1700
01:21:11.280 --> 01:21:16.880
her old boyfriend hanging around it's one thing if someone has legal rights to a child and it's

1701
01:21:16.880 --> 01:21:23.920
another thing if they're just you know just playing parent to a child and so those those

1702
01:21:23.920 --> 01:21:28.720
situations in my opinion I've seen a lot of these types of situations believe it or not

1703
01:21:28.720 --> 01:21:36.000
and they usually that the the relationship usually gets cut off by the biological parent eventually

1704
01:21:37.840 --> 01:21:43.200
okay well that's good to know I mean it's not like I'm like I want that but I just I'm curious

1705
01:21:43.200 --> 01:21:46.320
what what makes sense especially when I'm first getting to know someone I don't want to like

1706
01:21:46.320 --> 01:21:50.400
interview him so is there something that would make sense to ask him like in the beginning or

1707
01:21:50.400 --> 01:21:55.120
or what I would just I would ask him I would ask him how long he was in relationship with her like

1708
01:21:55.120 --> 01:22:02.240
or how long he's been like raising this child okay yeah I think it's fine and about that other stuff

1709
01:22:02.240 --> 01:22:06.240
I mentioned like does any of that give you pause like the fact that he didn't list he was a

1710
01:22:06.240 --> 01:22:10.960
Christian on his profile but then apparently he's like a Roman Catholic I like I mean those kind of

1711
01:22:10.960 --> 01:22:15.600
value things like I don't I don't know where he stands on that so I'm sort of like am I wasting

1712
01:22:15.600 --> 01:22:20.560
my time going on a date with him but he's really cute I mean I think I think that there are a lot

1713
01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:24.960
of people that are Christians that don't list it on their dating profile for whatever reason

1714
01:22:24.960 --> 01:22:32.400
I mean I don't find it to be a red flag no okay okay well but you know you did when you said you

1715
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:38.080
know it's central to my life and important you know if he wants to go out with you you know he's

1716
01:22:38.080 --> 01:22:44.080
going to try to meet you there with that even if it's not true so true so yeah so I would just yeah

1717
01:22:44.080 --> 01:22:53.040
just keep your eye on that okay well we will see all right okay thank you okay all right girl okay

1718
01:22:53.040 --> 01:22:58.800
let's see all right I'm just reading through I'm just reading through all these comments

1719
01:22:59.440 --> 01:23:06.000
oh so funny such a funny loveseat tonight okay we have less than three minutes so Gabby I need it

1720
01:23:06.000 --> 01:23:15.840
fast for some reason I don't hear you though hold on a sec it might be your headset

1721
01:23:21.280 --> 01:23:27.680
can you hear me yep now I can hear you go ahead okay so I'm still talking to the same

1722
01:23:28.400 --> 01:23:37.280
yes I heard from him as well so are my trip there was delayed but it's back on now because I got my

1723
01:23:37.280 --> 01:23:42.640
passport I had some delays but just so you know he's also messaging me so I'm pretty

1724
01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:46.160
much up to date on all that so you probably skip right to the question if you want

1725
01:23:47.520 --> 01:23:55.680
I'm nervous about the trip there's been some differences that have come up that

1726
01:23:56.480 --> 01:24:01.920
are kind of heavy on my heart yeah I feel like we're aligned spiritually but

1727
01:24:02.640 --> 01:24:05.680
then there's some things that have come up that we don't see eye to eye on and

1728
01:24:07.600 --> 01:24:11.280
a lot of the things that are happening in the world are like really heavy on my heart and I

1729
01:24:11.280 --> 01:24:18.400
realized we don't see things the same way so I think the I personally think knowing both of you

1730
01:24:18.400 --> 01:24:24.240
and knowing him really well I've been coaching him for several years now I think that y'all are gonna

1731
01:24:25.040 --> 01:24:33.680
go head to head I just do I think that you guys are going to have disagreements I think that he

1732
01:24:33.680 --> 01:24:45.040
is very set in his ways I don't think he's gonna change I really don't he has very very not just

1733
01:24:45.840 --> 01:24:54.800
conservative but also like far right far far right and you guys if that's you here I'm not

1734
01:24:54.800 --> 01:24:59.840
dogging you I'm just saying he's got very very very extreme views of

1735
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:01.000
things.

1736
01:25:01.000 --> 01:25:06.140
He's, you know, he's got a lot of conspiracy theory views and that's going to be perfect

1737
01:25:06.140 --> 01:25:12.300
for somebody, but I don't know that that's you because you're not far right.

1738
01:25:12.300 --> 01:25:15.020
You're not far left, but you're definitely a moderate.

1739
01:25:15.020 --> 01:25:16.100
You're definitely in the middle.

1740
01:25:16.100 --> 01:25:20.260
You're definitely socially liberal, I would say, because you care about the plight of

1741
01:25:20.260 --> 01:25:23.220
the poor and unfortunate.

1742
01:25:23.220 --> 01:25:28.500
And I just, I think for, if you were the kind of person who could just kind of check what

1743
01:25:28.500 --> 01:25:32.860
you believe at the door and just not just like agree to disagree and not talk about

1744
01:25:32.860 --> 01:25:37.260
that stuff and not really get involved in that, then it could possibly work.

1745
01:25:37.260 --> 01:25:38.420
But I don't think you're like that.

1746
01:25:38.420 --> 01:25:42.500
I think you're kind of a passionate sort of person that likes to talk about what they

1747
01:25:42.500 --> 01:25:46.540
believe in and what you believe and he believes not the same thing.

1748
01:25:46.540 --> 01:25:51.580
And he also is someone who's passionate and wants to, you know, kind of win everyone over

1749
01:25:51.580 --> 01:25:53.180
to his thought pattern.

1750
01:25:53.180 --> 01:26:00.100
So I just, I think that you guys are opposites and you attract, but you may not cohabitate.

1751
01:26:00.100 --> 01:26:04.420
Now all that being said, do I think that you shouldn't go visit?

1752
01:26:04.420 --> 01:26:08.980
Not necessarily, but I think you're going to have to draw some really clear boundaries,

1753
01:26:08.980 --> 01:26:10.900
both of you.

1754
01:26:10.900 --> 01:26:19.680
Now this is the only way this even has a snowball's chance of working, okay, is if before you

1755
01:26:19.680 --> 01:26:25.440
even go, you say, Hey, listen, we disagree on these topics and we may never agree on

1756
01:26:25.440 --> 01:26:28.000
these topics and list them out.

1757
01:26:28.000 --> 01:26:32.080
And so while I'm visiting, these topics are off limits.

1758
01:26:32.080 --> 01:26:36.120
We're not talking about them at all.

1759
01:26:36.120 --> 01:26:38.680
And then you don't talk about them because you already know you disagree and all you're

1760
01:26:38.680 --> 01:26:40.360
going to do is argue about it.

1761
01:26:40.360 --> 01:26:44.600
And it's going to be tense and your kids are going to be there and just bleh.

1762
01:26:44.600 --> 01:26:50.520
So if you want to go have fun in Pennsylvania and get to know the other side of him, the

1763
01:26:50.520 --> 01:26:54.920
farmer side of him, and all, you know, the man side of him and all those things and be

1764
01:26:54.920 --> 01:27:00.240
together and see what you have in common that you could build on, I think that that would

1765
01:27:00.240 --> 01:27:08.080
be the only right, the only right thing here is if you totally put a moratorium on those

1766
01:27:08.080 --> 01:27:09.080
conversations.

1767
01:27:09.080 --> 01:27:20.040
Okay, I actually spoke up the other day because it's been weighing on me and I feel like everything

1768
01:27:20.040 --> 01:27:24.000
we've been talking about has been very surface and I don't like, I feel like the connection

1769
01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:30.800
has gone away because I don't feel connected because I can't share how I feel about things.

1770
01:27:30.800 --> 01:27:38.880
So I ended up sharing how I was feeling and he said he understood my perspective, but

1771
01:27:38.880 --> 01:27:41.640
that he sees it differently.

1772
01:27:41.640 --> 01:27:43.240
And I, I mean, it was better.

1773
01:27:43.240 --> 01:27:47.240
I mean, I feel like I was heard at least, but I was really concerned because he said

1774
01:27:47.240 --> 01:27:51.120
that he had brought up politics several times.

1775
01:27:51.120 --> 01:27:56.560
I didn't bring it up, but he said that even his daughter will try to talk to him and she'll

1776
01:27:56.560 --> 01:27:59.160
be like, but dad, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1777
01:27:59.160 --> 01:28:03.360
And he just, the way he said it just made me feel like if he'll dismiss his daughter

1778
01:28:03.360 --> 01:28:08.220
like that, then how is he going to, well, he's definitely, like I said, he's definitely

1779
01:28:08.220 --> 01:28:11.740
not going to change the way that he feels about those things.

1780
01:28:11.740 --> 01:28:15.660
Now my husband and I are not aligned politically.

1781
01:28:15.660 --> 01:28:21.540
You know, like I just have a lot of intuition and I see a lot of corruption behind everything,

1782
01:28:21.540 --> 01:28:25.380
not just behind the people on the red side or the blue side.

1783
01:28:25.380 --> 01:28:27.260
You know, this is not a sporting event.

1784
01:28:27.260 --> 01:28:29.420
This is not the world series or the super bowl.

1785
01:28:29.420 --> 01:28:31.860
It's not your team and my team, okay.

1786
01:28:31.860 --> 01:28:34.740
It's evil and lesser evil and evil.

1787
01:28:34.740 --> 01:28:39.500
And so the bottom line is a lot of women feel that way and that's why men need good

1788
01:28:39.500 --> 01:28:46.860
wives because we have a lot of discernment and we have a tendency to be able to prophetically,

1789
01:28:46.860 --> 01:28:50.420
you know, tell, tell them things that they wouldn't hear other places.

1790
01:28:50.420 --> 01:28:54.660
And so gentlemen, if you want a good wife, you're also going to have to understand that

1791
01:28:54.660 --> 01:29:00.500
she's probably going to see a lot of different things in just the culture and current events

1792
01:29:00.500 --> 01:29:02.320
than you're going to see in it.

1793
01:29:02.320 --> 01:29:06.320
And it's probably important that you listen to her, you know, not that we don't listen

1794
01:29:06.320 --> 01:29:07.320
to you.

1795
01:29:07.320 --> 01:29:12.280
And I want to make sure that I said this tonight, you guys, that the Bible is very clear that

1796
01:29:12.280 --> 01:29:19.680
men should sacrifice or even die, die to self for the family, for the wife, for the marriage,

1797
01:29:19.680 --> 01:29:20.680
right?

1798
01:29:20.680 --> 01:29:24.280
And then it's very, very specific that the woman should submit.

1799
01:29:24.280 --> 01:29:25.920
Okay.

1800
01:29:25.920 --> 01:29:29.520
And so I really want to encourage all of you to pray into this.

1801
01:29:29.520 --> 01:29:33.240
Ladies, are you worth dying for?

1802
01:29:33.240 --> 01:29:36.160
I really want you to be the kind of woman that's worth dying for.

1803
01:29:36.160 --> 01:29:40.600
It's worth a man wanting to sacrifice himself for you.

1804
01:29:40.600 --> 01:29:44.600
And I don't mean like physically, like going to war or running in front of a car.

1805
01:29:44.600 --> 01:29:50.320
I mean, dying to self, sacrificing for the family, for the needs of the family, for the

1806
01:29:50.320 --> 01:29:52.640
benefit and good of you.

1807
01:29:52.640 --> 01:29:54.920
Are you worth dying for?

1808
01:29:54.920 --> 01:30:00.040
And then gentlemen, you know, you need to ask.

1809
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:09.580
yourself, you know. Are you willing to do that for someone? Are you, are you willing

1810
01:30:09.580 --> 01:30:18.880
to do that? That's the question. So, and we want to be, we want to be women worth dying

1811
01:30:18.880 --> 01:30:24.520
for and then gentlemen, you want to be men worth submitting to, right? You want to be

1812
01:30:24.520 --> 01:30:30.920
trustworthy and kind and have integrity and so that she can respect you and submit to

1813
01:30:30.920 --> 01:30:35.600
you. Okay. Go ahead, Gabby. And this is it. We're going to end right here.

1814
01:30:35.600 --> 01:30:39.360
The fear that's coming up is that I won't be able to find anyone I'm aligned with because

1815
01:30:39.360 --> 01:30:45.120
I don't, I'm not, I don't consider myself left or right. I'm independent and I try to

1816
01:30:45.120 --> 01:30:49.720
follow the Bible and I don't feel like either party perfectly aligned. So how am I going

1817
01:30:49.720 --> 01:30:53.160
to find anybody that I'm perfectly aligned with and how do I navigate this?

1818
01:30:53.160 --> 01:30:56.700
We don't have to be perfectly aligned, but we do have to respect each other. We have

1819
01:30:56.700 --> 01:31:01.300
to respect each other's decisions. And if we're raising children, we have to decide

1820
01:31:01.300 --> 01:31:04.560
ahead of time, you know, how are we going to raise those children? What are we going

1821
01:31:04.560 --> 01:31:08.840
to raise those children to believe about life, about the world, about God? You know, these

1822
01:31:08.840 --> 01:31:14.280
are the things we have to talk about and you guys both have smaller children. And so it's

1823
01:31:14.280 --> 01:31:20.280
important to, to, to have, you know, even if you don't agree on everything, when you

1824
01:31:20.280 --> 01:31:24.440
come together before you marry someone, when you're going to be raising children specifically,

1825
01:31:24.440 --> 01:31:28.120
you talk about how those children are going to be raised and what they're going to be

1826
01:31:28.120 --> 01:31:33.680
raised to believe. Okay. So this man's a lot older than you. I think that you could be

1827
01:31:33.680 --> 01:31:38.400
possibly aligned more closely with someone closer in your age. How many years difference

1828
01:31:38.400 --> 01:31:47.920
do you guys have? 16. Okay. So one of the reasons why he kind of believes the things

1829
01:31:47.920 --> 01:31:53.360
that he believes is because of the area of the country that he's lives, the, his vocation

1830
01:31:53.360 --> 01:31:57.880
as a farmer and the things that he's done in a cons, you know, a contractor and the

1831
01:31:57.880 --> 01:32:04.680
things he's done, and then also his age. Okay. This guy is in his upper fifties, almost 60

1832
01:32:04.680 --> 01:32:13.480
years old, and it's just a different generation than you with different belief systems. Now,

1833
01:32:14.480 --> 01:32:20.080
it could maybe possibly, but there would have to be a lot of respect for both of you for

1834
01:32:20.080 --> 01:32:25.920
the other person. And you'd have to find some common ground to build on. So if you do end

1835
01:32:25.920 --> 01:32:29.040
up going on this trip, that's what I would work on doing, seeing if there's anything

1836
01:32:29.040 --> 01:32:34.920
common that you can build on. Okay. Besides just attraction to each other and for you,

1837
01:32:34.920 --> 01:32:39.080
you know, well, there's nobody better out here, so I guess I'll settle for him. No,

1838
01:32:39.080 --> 01:32:46.600
way. That's not definitely not it. Okay. You're a beautiful woman. You're a principled woman,

1839
01:32:46.600 --> 01:32:53.080
and he needs to respect your viewpoints and vice versa. Guys have to agree to disagree and

1840
01:32:53.080 --> 01:32:58.760
have a commonality to build on in order to go forward. Right, friends. Thank you so much.

1841
01:32:58.760 --> 01:33:04.880
Thank you so much for joining us for Love Seats. I hope you had a good time. I know I did. I had

1842
01:33:04.880 --> 01:33:08.760
so much fun with you guys. We had some fun conversations tonight. Thank you to everyone

1843
01:33:08.760 --> 01:33:14.200
who participated in tonight. Everyone's laughing and giggling a little bit. It was a funny

1844
01:33:14.200 --> 01:33:17.920
it was a funny one. And we'll see you guys soon. Bye everyone.