Welcome to Men's Heart Check-in, Monday, July 14th, and we're just doing some preliminary
talking and I'm talking about the wheel space right now, the wheelhouse.
But anyway, we are visiting some friends in Louisville, Kentucky, and they're really quite
wealthy friends.
And there's some people that we've known for about 15 years and they just so happen that
they're extremely wealthy and every once in a while they have us come in and Jackie speaks
at their thing or on a podcast or whatever.
So it's kind of nice to know people like that.
And they say, hey, come stay at our house.
We did.
And we got there real late one night, but they still had dinner for us.
They're like, hey, we're sorry we're late.
Oh no, we just made dinner.
We made dinner for you.
Sit down.
My gosh, this is incredible.
You guys are great.
So we sit down and there's other people at the end of the table, at the other end of
the table, and they're Hispanic people.
They don't hardly speak any English.
Telling us that this guy who I thought, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, all right?
I thought he worked for them.
I'm just a terrible assumption, bad manners of me or whatever, but I did not know who
this person was.
And I know they have Hispanic people working for them.
So I mean, it wasn't unreasonable.
And I just thought it was this person because I know they have had, you know, and or they
were just like some visiting pastor or something like that.
I don't know what it was.
Apparently, this guy is a renowned international prophet, like, legit, like, dude that like
does a lot of stuff.
And says a lot of things and super, like, amazingly accurate.
And I'm like, I don't even know this guy, you know?
And so, there's the other end of the table and he's apologizing because he doesn't speak
very good English.
And we're just like, yeah, yeah, okay, nice to meet you.
Where are you from?
He goes, I'm from Colombia and all this.
I'm like, cool.
I was just in Colombia.
Da da da, right?
And before the end of the night, he was like, my friend who was the, you know, the wealthy
business guy.
He's like, hey, prophet, you know, pray for our friends before before you go.
I'm like, so we're like, okay, yeah, we'll receive prayer from the prophet, whatever.
And this guy starts going in and praying in Spanish.
But the only person who's left to interpret any English is his nine-year-old daughter.
And she's interpreting for us.
I don't know.
I don't know if you've heard Jackie share the story yet or not, but anyway.
She's interpreting this man who is her dad and she's nine years old and she's speaking
really good English and doing actually a pretty good job interpreting this.
But she's nine, you know, like she's not going to get adult nuances of like, you know, like
really getting in depth with some of these ideas.
So we're hearing this guy.
And he starts calling out like initials.
And first of all, he calls out like there's somebody with a J and we're like, well, he's
like, well, Jackie's like that.
Well, my name's Jackie J.M..
She goes, well, my middle name is Marie, Jackie Marie.
And he goes, OK.
And he says something to her and it's like, wow, that's amazing.
And then he's like and then he's like, for me, he's like, you have some unforgiveness.
She's like, you need to forgive this person.
Like he wasn't he wasn't mad at me, but he was just like, there's some forgiveness that
you need.
And so the initials are R and then P. And I'm like, no way.
That's my old pastor.
It's like Rob Parsley.
I was like, I'm like, are you kidding me?
And he goes, I don't he goes, I don't know, he just are R and then P. And I'm like, whoa.
And I'm like, yeah, there's some of that.
So I'm like, OK.
And then he called out some other things and it called out her and said his name.
His mentor and then said, there's also Sophia.
And I'm like, Sophia is this guy's daughter, like not the prophet's daughter or mentor's
daughter.
Like, he doesn't even know these people are.
She's calling out names.
I'm like, OK, now, mind you, we're doing this through an interpreter, nine year old girl
interpreting this.
And this guy's from Columbia.
He doesn't know Adam.
I don't even know this guy.
There's no way this guy knows anything about us at all.
And then he's like and then it's like there's a W there's like a double A, there's a there's
like a B. No, no, no, no, no.
It's a double A. And if you understand Spanish, double A means W. So double A is B in Spanish.
And then double A is W is the word W for Spanish word for W is a double A.
And then Ache, H-W-H, he says, but this is not a person.
This is a place. I'm like.
We just opened.
This is about two months ago when this happened.
We just opened a place called Wheelhouse.
He goes, OK, here's there will be
there will be deliverance from addictions in this place.
I'm like, OK, we're like open to that.
We're open to deliverance.
We're open to people coming in that we're not familiar with,
that we would want to come in and be blessed.
I didn't know it was going to be a rave
that was opening next door to us, where people blazing up all night long
every day of the week, freaking addictions coming in,
moving in next door to us, the devil himself moving in next door to us.
Do you like our place?
Well, I'm like, I have to complain to the landlord.
I go like we want to invite people into our place.
I don't want the residual like weed smell, just like blaze,
like sunken it up in our wheelhouse.
I mean, I'm not sure I'm trying to be Christian, trying to be loving.
I don't want to start a war with my neighbors,
but I can't have that in my place, too.
I mean, we're sharing a wall.
And it's like I told you there's going to be addictions
that are going to be broken off.
I told you you need to like take possession of the place.
You need to open up a portal, you need to worship.
We're like, OK, Lord.
So this is what we're faced with, guys.
This is the we thinking it's we're thinking it's warfare.
God's just like, no, I'm just setting you up.
We're like, OK, so we got some work to do, so pray for us.
Stand in the gap with us.
And. That's what's going on, so.
Yeah, you know, in the deliverance realm, a lot of it's legal.
So like, you know, with your RRP, right?
When you when you don't have doing a lot of deliverance lately,
so which I had never planned on.
But one of the things you guys, I just I want to I want to encourage you.
If you have any unforgiveness in your life towards anybody,
it literally gives the enemy legal right in the courts of heaven
to to just beat the crap out of you and to destroy your life.
And so even if it's like little inconsequential things that you think,
yeah, you just have to have a clean slate.
And I mean, it's amazing how this I mean, I
are just doing these breaking prayers and you can feel it shift.
And then, you know, and so like.
But I want to say just as you are the tenants,
like, you know, you have the authority in there.
That's your legal space.
And he's legal, right?
He's trespassing. Right.
And and like, yeah, and just do some declarations
and anointing and communion there.
We're definitely going to do it for sure.
And and you're right.
You know, I had I had dealt with a lot of the church.
Pervert abuse and all that kind of stuff in the past.
And, you know, it just he was just reminding me prophetically from a strong
he's just like, you know, hey, there's stuff there.
And I'm like, OK, yeah, I'll do that.
So I did another round of that forgiveness
during that time.
And so you're right, though.
Yeah, unforgiveness. I mean, like.
A lot of the stuff happens in layers.
And, you know, we talk about this in heartwork as well.
You know, when you're releasing things, you have pain points come up.
You have anxiety.
You have uncomfortable levels of feelings
that come up with situations and people and things.
You know, there's that's just pain is an indicator.
We talk about that, you know.
And so it's a good reminder.
Thank you for bringing that up.
Because, yeah, it's a good reminder for us.
Well, and the thing is, guys, if the enemy is taunting you with something
and cause it like like there's something in your life that you've done
that he's just won't leave it alone.
You just repent and you say, I repented and you leave it.
Right. Because when you repent, it removes all legal.
Right. He has.
And you put it under the blood of Jesus.
It removes all right that the enemy has.
And I guess, you know, and sometimes you may just reown it.
Yes, I did that. And I repent in Jesus name.
Right. But like, no, it's it's good stuff.
You know, and I think, like you said, pain is an indicator. Right.
And and it's not actually a bad indicator.
It's an indicator that you want.
He wants you free.
I've been going to all kinds of stuff lately.
And it's like, you know, you realize when you're having those indicators,
you thought you were free.
But here's the new layer. Right. So.
The pain can be irritating because it kind of lingers.
And I've even prayed the prayer is like, OK, I feel the pain.
I sense this pain.
And so, Lord, I need you to heal me.
And I want the pain to go away because I've already gotten the message.
You know, I hear, I've seen the red light, I get it, you know, I, I'm, I'm sensing the pain.
So I'm like, I want to be released from the pain because I'm dealing with this now.
I'm already, I'm putting the band-aid on it.
I'm putting the sab on it.
I'm, I'm taking care of it.
You know, and as soon as you put in the medicine, as soon as you put in the, the, the relief,
the stuff, take the time, whatever it is, you know, to relieve, relieve the pain.
If it's a very, you know, temporary sort of situation, cut, whatever,
and you get rid of that pain, then you get out of pain because you've addressed the issue.
You put the band-aid on it, you put the, you put the sab on it, you clean the wound out,
whatever it is, you know, you give, you administer the first aid in order to address the issue.
So that doesn't become, you know, my pastor used to say this, he said,
the devil will kill you, you know, the devil wants to kill you and he'll kill you with a
hangnail if he can, you know, you get a hangnail, you get infected, you know, get gangrene and goes
the rest of your body, like he'll kill you with a hangnail if he can type thing.
So it's like, you got to take care of these things before they become a bigger problem.
It's true.
The other thing that goes with that, and I'll just bring this up because I spent the entire
last three days at a incredible three-day intensive experience.
That's what it's called.
Anybody ever do next level experience?
Anybody ever heard of that?
It's called next level experience.
Anybody ever done it?
Heard about it?
Heard of it.
Have you heard about it?
Michael McIntyre.
He's the guy that does it.
His family does it actually.
He's a, he's a business guy.
Built an insurance company to three or three billion dollars.
And I think like sold it, close the doors, whatever, gave it off or whatever he did with
it years ago.
And then now he's doing these next level experiences.
He's done them for the last 12 years.
And dude's pretty cool dude.
He's a motivator, you know, he's a coach.
But we did this intensive over the weekend.
It was really great.
And I encourage you to, if you ever have a chance to do it, like, you know, it'll shift
you.
We went for the purpose of getting shifted to literally the next level.
And next level means a lot of different things for a lot of different people.
And there were all walks of life, everything, everybody from 21 years of age, I think was
the youngest all the way up to 76 years of age in this room of 34 people.
And walked in on Friday, not knowing anybody and not knowing anything that was going to
happen.
And by Sunday night, walked away from the dinner and like fell in love with these people
that we just spent two and a half days with intensively and and got shifted all at the
same time.
It was pretty incredible.
One of the things that comes up in these things with pain is also shame.
And it's just one of the manifestations, depending on what it is that, you know, that
you're dealing with guilt, shame, that kind of thing.
And shame also, as a pain point, can be an indicator.
Guilt can be an indicator.
But it's not supposed to be something that lasts in order to drive you into change.
There may be a point of like, you feel bad, you feel guilty, you feel shameful, you feel
you feel less than you feel unworthy because of what you did or what happened or what somebody
else put upon you.
But it's not supposed to linger in such a way.
To produce the change result, the repentance is not supposed to drive you to repentance.
As a motivator.
It oftentimes acts as an indicator and it's from without.
So I talked several months ago about how shame is not an appropriate motivator towards progress
or towards development in the kingdom.
But it is a real factor.
So I'm not saying that shame doesn't exist and that guilt doesn't exist.
We obviously feel that from time to time, depending on what we've been through.
But I just want to make the difference between the fact that.
One of the things that was really cool about the experience we went through this weekend was.
Michael talked about that the space that they were creating from from the first five minutes
being a safe space.
Being a space full of love and acceptance and grace that was going to.
be challenging, was designed to get you uncomfortable,
was designed to get you out of your comfort zone,
but at the same time that you knew
that you were in a safe space, a loving space,
an accepting space, a non-judgmental space
to be transformed.
And I can tell you having gone through it now,
it truly was an incredible experience.
So I'm kind of pushing that, but at the same time,
I kind of want to, I'm just motivated by this
because there's some things that really happened
in it that was really cool.
And one of the questions that came out of this experience
is maybe something we can focus on tonight.
Jackie did Supernatural Saturday on it,
because we did, she actually got special permission
to leave the room.
We were not allowed to leave the room
unless we were on a break or whatever.
We had to be on time to every class.
We had to, like, there were like ground rules
that we all agreed to.
And it was a pretty intensive thing.
And we learned real quickly that it was not gonna
be acceptable to be out of those bounds.
And when we all adhere to that,
it really drove the attention of the event
towards an experience, not just some thing
that you're sitting around taking notes in
and trying to like, you know, take a conference in,
you know, this was a transformative experience.
And she got special permission to step out of the room
to do Supernatural Saturday because of,
they realized, you know, who she was
and like what her community was
and how important that was to our community.
And she was like, okay, recognize that you're a leader
and that this is your thing and that you want to do it.
And she went out of that room,
did Supernatural Saturday based on this question.
So I don't know if you saw Supernatural Saturday,
any of you this last weekend, but the question is,
what are you pretending not to know?
What are you pretending not to know?
And you might think that's kind of weird.
You're like, what do you mean?
What am I pretending not to know?
Anybody want to take a stab just right off the top of the head
just like hearing the question.
Maybe you did listen to Supernatural Saturday,
taking a stab at like, maybe thinking about like,
what is it I'm pretending not to know?
You're going to have to think about this
from the position of,
kind of like a, what's missing?
What am I maybe even hiding from?
What is it that I truly don't know that I need to know?
What is it potential, like in the area of potential,
you can ask yourself, what am I pretending not to know?
What do I, it's kind of, it's also very in line
or very familiar, synonymous with that same question.
Like what is, what's the elephant that's in the room?
It's kind of like, what is the thing that comes up a lot
that I'm not really willing or ready to deal with?
What are you pretending not to know?
Anybody want to share?
Anybody want to take a stab at it?
I'll tell you that part of what I'm pretending I don't know
or pretending not to know,
is I'm pretending I'm playing small
in a lot of ways in my life.
I'm pretending to not to know
that there's a leader within me,
that has always wanted to move forward.
Not from a place of arrogance,
but from a place of like,
I should step into something that.
maybe I have put down in the past always said oh that's not me that's not really I'm not I'm not
like that there's potential that's inside of you that is wanting to break out wanting to come out
we all have things this and this is not about being better this is not like oh I
should bet I could be better at xyz it's not about being better this is actually about being honest
about something that you might be denying to be let out in your life
sometimes you hear people like oh I've always wanted to whatever and I never felt like I had
permission or never felt like I had the resources I never felt like I had you know so that's that's
kind of common right that person was pretending not to know that they could do this in spite of
whatever excuses they were trying to put forth and the truth is is we don't really have
like if we have a certain potential whatever that is and I'm not saying it has to be like
oh I'm a bajillionaire and I've got it soon I got all these you know I got all these ideas
and I'm going to change the world I mean it doesn't have to be grandiose guys you know
just has to be whatever your potential is and if you understand that there's more to you
than the life you're living
you're not activating that in some sort of way or you're not like placing yourself in
any kind of position to like be challenged in that way or brought out
the reality is is that we end up lots of times lots of people
they really truly end up running out of time so the question is kind of like
like what are you pretending not to know
are you pretending not to know
david yeah so yeah I'll I'll respond um it's actually been very cool so I'm almost at the
end of a fast and just during this time I did the heart work which I finished but
I think I mentioned this before the Lord's really been just highlighting to me about
stepping into teaching full-time okay and I'm finally like taking those necessary steps I've
got an interview I've got one interview tomorrow possibly two and July's apparently crunch time for
and July's apparently crunch time for teachers and stuff getting new positions for the new school
year yeah but I had a friend in my my Shabbat community she found out she got hired within like
probably 16 hours of her applying for a particular position
and the position she actually got wasn't listed on their website but she applied and then they
hired her for like a middle school science position which is she's perfect for because
she's raised two kids at home and that that was just really encouraging to me so
got some info from her and I've already got like one or two interviews scheduled but that's just
like I know for a fact that the Lord even when I was working as a restaurant server
probably a year and a half ago I knew at the time the Lord was highlighting that but I put it off
for a while I would say out of fear just fear of the unknown I just didn't really know what to
expect or mainly just fear of lack of finances because I I'd always heard oh teachers don't
really make a whole lot and I've been debt twice not like huge debt compared to a lot of people but
just credit card debt yeah there's a lot of trepidation there's a lot of trepidation around
that but the fact that you even saw yourself as a teacher you know that was somewhat in question
maybe yeah but it was more so in question of
I don't know if that's what I really want to do.
Now I know for a fact that the Lord has given me a teaching gift.
I don't know if it's necessarily been stifled the last few years.
Yeah.
I think it's just more something.
Actually, when I think about it, I think it's just more something the Lord has honored and has grown in my life, kind of like a plant or a seed, the more I've done it.
And I'm talking about just I love reading the word I love sharing my knowledge of it. And I've led Passover Seder, three years in a row now.
And three different groups.
And I was like, Lord, I feel like you're trying to tell me something.
Yeah.
As you I mean I can I can I can attest to what you're saying is exactly what I had in my life. I was in ministry full time vocational ministry started when I was about 25 in the youth department at a big church.
And the reason I and the reason I say it's a big church is because the big the size of the church matters because of the potential of opportunity.
I was at a smaller church it probably wouldn't have been as opportunistic.
And it just happened to be that's just the church I was involved with from a very young age. And then I wanted to get on staff there so I did. And I was 25.
And I got on staff, and I was in the youth department. I wanted to start in a totally different position and a much higher position I wanted to be like the worship leader but they're like now you're starting the youth department matter of fact you're going to start with the children's ministry.
And so that's where I started.
And I did that for a number of years.
And then all of a sudden, I started seeing my peers, people who were just my same age.
We had started the Bible college, now I had attended that Bible college. But by the time I was 25 and started my ministry career.
You know I was really climbing the sort of like the corporate ladder if you would, you know that that ministry.
And because my entire life.
I had been sort of like criticized in a casual way and said that I, my entire life.
I didn't have much to say or I couldn't put words together I couldn't really like you know communicate very well.
Like I couldn't like, I wasn't really like a dynamic person to where somebody want to listen to me, stay anything even though I was actually a communication major in college.
And my dad, you know kind of scoffed at that like laughed at that like you a communicator like, come on, you know like, whatever so I had always this thing in my head that I would never be somebody who was an influencer or communicator or speaker or an author or anything like that.
So I always just figured I would have to be something else until we started doing the same thing with me, Joshua, which is giving me an impression that I think the Lord's trying to set me up and I got this message for like almost a whole year or more before I actually became and was invited in to be a teacher, an actual teacher.
And my friends were taking classes or not taking classes, they were becoming the instructors, my contemporaries, even though we were in our 20s.
So I was like, man, you know, like if they can do it, I could do it, I think, maybe.
And then it came to the point where I just was there long enough.
I had a degree in communication and they said, you know what, we have these classes over the Bible college, we need somebody to teach these classes.
And I kind of was thinking, man, should I raise my hand for this?
Because I was sitting in an executive meeting.
I got passed over because I didn't speak up because I didn't think I was a quote teacher.
And nobody had ever said I could teach or I hadn't done it.
And so I kind of got passed over.
And so another year went by and finally, circumstantially, it just happened that there wasn't anybody else to do this.
And they said, hey, can you do this class?
And I was like, oh, my gosh.
Somebody actually gave me a class.
And I.
That was my first year teaching, and I had a syllabus and I was teaching Bible college, college students, and I could do it because they had a charter school.
They had it was an associate's sort of two year program, but because I had a bachelor's degree four years.
I could technically teach in that charter school in a Bible College and they said because you're a communication major
You can teach all the communication classes
And you can teach you can teach
Media 101 you could teach mass media. You could teach speech
How am I gonna teach speech when my dad was like you a communicator you stand in front people don't tell them people have an
ideas and talking about it
I'm teaching the class now and that started a nine-year career nine years
a
full-time teaching I taught
dozens of classes
Dozens of things and that's a year. I don't do much that kind of classroom formal teaching anymore
But it's a period of my time that I learned a lot and I was I learned I could actually do that
I
Was a paradigm shift. It was a invitation for the longest time before being a teacher. I was pretending not to know I could teach
But I could put a lesson together that I could stand up in front of a group of people and make sense
You see what I'm saying, so the question is is what are you pretending not to know today like I'm pretending not to know that
They could have influence in a greater way
I'm pretending not to know
For this recent season that there's a lot of other things that I need to start and do
project wise and corporate wise and business wise and entrepreneurial wise and
Production wise I'm pretending that I'm just a part of this thing that my wife's doing and that I just do the other side of it
And that's all that there is for me to do
I'm pretending not to know that there's more in me that there's a whole nother
side to this
And I better get busy at it because I'm 54 years old and I have
25 years left of good productivity. I
Mean not that I can't be productive beyond that. I'm just saying I'm just thinking like 50 60s
You know, like those are for productive years. They can be matter of fact
Statistically, I don't know if you know this or not
But 60 to 70 that 10 year that decade of your life
That's actually statistically
the most
How's the statistic go?
It is statistically the most wealth building and the most productive
Wealth building years of an individual's life. I don't know if you knew that or not
It's not the 30s. It's not the 40s. It's not the 50s
You think 30s 40s and 50s are the most like Oh productive in terms of like career building all that kind of stuff
No, but as far as actual wealth building
multiplying and well
Establishing and building for legacy that type of thing. The 60s is actually the decade where it's like, that's the most
wealth productivity
in a person's life
Kind of fascinating
So again, again, what are you guys? I'm talking to all of you guys
What are you guys in your 30s in your 40s?
Some of you in your 50s some of you know older than that. That's fine
Some of you younger than that some of you are still in your 20s
What are you pretending at the stage in your life?
What are you pretending not to know?
Can I jump in yeah, ma'am not that I want to jump in but
You know like this is a season like this I've had so much anxiety this weekend and it's yeah and it's it's interesting cuz
It's not because I'm failing
It's because I'm actually succeeding
right up and like
Like favor and doors are flying open at levels that I've never seen before
Yes, I'm walking in like people are like I want you to train me in this. I want to train you in this
I'm doing deliverance sessions, which I am really good at but I never really have done and people like you need to be
Yes
In this area we need you in that area and I'm meeting with the pastor on Friday and they're like we want you to lead
Outreach and you want want you to do this and you want you to do that and like here we want
I got invited to a group of peers of singles in this group. And um, yeah, and I'm like
Why am I so anxious? Like why am I freaking out? Oh and it's like
Two things one. I'm afraid of I'm not afraid of failing. I'm afraid of succeeding which is you it's just yeah pretty insane
But the other thing is is this getting real?
Like, you know, I know I know the call on my life and all of a sudden I'm watching it happen in full force
Actually, I don't even know him partial force. I don't think if he gave it full force
I think I'd probably black out but you know, you know, and I just you guys it's you know
There's there's a feel a fear of actually succeeding and most people were to fail than to succeed
Because it puts you in a whole different thing
And that's a perfect example Mike. Let me jump in there real quickly because I want to highlight what you're saying is perfect
For this if you have never heard of the idea that you could be afraid to succeed afraid of failure
I think okay. Yeah, you get that but if you have never
Studied this concept of the fear of success. It is a real thing guys
and I would dare say that a lot of you are probably kind of
Have anxiety about that and
You didn't even know it. You thought it was a fear of failure, but it's actually a fear of like, oh my god
What if I really actually do this then I'll be responsible then I'll have to go to another level
I'll have to be more disciplined. I'll have to change my life
I'll have to change my like how I present myself like because people will expect this out of me
So therefore it's going to create me to have to do things and get uncomfortable
You know
Like so like what are you pretending not to know Mike is telling you he's confessing. He's like I'm pretending like
To know that I can't do this or I'm not comfortable doing this
I'm pretending like I'm kind of playing small
I'm used to playing small until this season where right now he's being enacted upon
He's being not forced, but I mean he's being challenged
To like an invited in going. Hey, bro. We need you
It's kind of like the soldier on the front line who's like his fear of like
The battlefield. I'm not a I'm not a soldier. So I don't know how to talk about this, but I've seen this before and
He can't go on to the battlefield because he's afraid of whatever right?
And it's like you're being but you're but you've been trained as a soldier
But you you know, and you can't do it. What do you mean? You can't do it. You've been trained to kill
You've been trained to do this. You've been through boot camp. You've been through all the things
You have a gun in your hand. You've been trained how to use it and you can't go on the battlefield. What do you mean?
Right
fear of dying fear of failure and then the fear of like what if what if I actually end up being
like an incredible soldier that will mean that I have
Killed people and I've done terrible things
And done hard things and been through battle and the hell of war
That will have mean that I would have done that and that scares the hell out of me
So I can't go
You were called to go
What if you were commissioned to go what if you were designed?
For the very thing that scares the shit out of you
You know what I'm saying, oh
I can tell you all that is true, right at the moment. Yeah
Are you afraid what are you afraid of? Yeah, right
Because are you put cuz I'm like I'm tapping out and he's like, you know, why you know
I'm like, yeah, you know my feet to the fire, which is what a good friend does, right?
And the question is to Mike is like what?
What are you used to in the past?
When those things have come up you're used to kind of what playing small like other
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop
Yeah, right like oh wait, they can't you know, the enemy is like they can't handle you
see the reality is I don't even know my full fullness because I've held it back and now it's coming out and
and I'm not able to control it as much as I used to be but you know, but you're afraid and you're afraid that um
Yeah, that it will be it'll be out of control that like there's a certain level like but the reality is that you're here
So here's what you're pretending not to know
You're pretending
not to know
That all of the experience that you've had in this way prophetically in this ministry giving
Up until this point has prepared you
with the level of maturity
That will keep you
Forcible that will keep you with the boundaries
Like you're afraid of being out of bounds
Yeah, but what you're pretending not to know right now
I mean, this is this is very powerful because that's why this was bringing this question home
You're pretending not to know that the experience literally has trained you
To walk in a level of maturity
That will actually keep you in the bounds of it and then will create a force
That will produce that amount of success like this time
It's like oh, I see all like before you didn't know you didn't know what would be out of bounds
You didn't know until they were like, hey, hey, don't do that. Stop doing that. What are you doing? Like you got smacked down?
Right or you got out of order?
We didn't like that or we didn't whatever but now you're self-aware
Because you've been through a lot of training you've been through a lot of life you've been through a lot of maturing processes
You're self-aware enough to know. Oh crap
If I do this, this could get really out of control
Yeah, and what you're pretending not to know is the fact that that all of that
Has created the level of maturity
that
Will enable you to not let it get out of control and that you have the mastery of it
Yes, sir. Good
That's what this question of what are you pretending not to know
Is all about it's kind of like you know what I'm pretending like
I'm pretending not to know that. I'm just damn good at
XYZ like I'm really good at like woodworking or I don't know. I'm really good at leading people
I'm actually good at leading people. I'm pretending not to know that I'm acting like just like an idiot over here
Yeah, I'm kind of in a leadership position, but I'm not really like fully up
Walking into my full potential. I am a leader
I'm a leader and
So what the question begs of you when you answer the question is it begs that I am statement
It begs you to go who are you? What are you pretending not to know?
Well, I guess I'm pretending not to know that I'm
This is who I really am in this way
It's a really interesting question
I
Can see Abrams face I can see his light I sing I can see the light Bob going off
Hey, I know Abrams thinking he's like, yeah, I
See it. I can feel it. I
Can I know and in here's the thing?
You could come to that point many many times but until you until you
Say it until you articulate it it was it will still be there
And I'll tell you one of the activations we did in this in this next level experience was
standing up up in front of the group and declaring like
Who are you?
We all had to do it
And we were forced to do it and it was like it's like and people were like well
I'm good at this and I think I'd like to do this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Not what are you good at not? What do you'd like to do? Not? What do you want to do? No, no
Who are you?
and it was
Really coming to the point of like I am
Thus and such
And they were I am statements that basically some of them were actually
Actually actually true in the moment and some of them were like
future statements about a future actualization
Because you could see them now
You could say I am
This for instance if you're not a father
But you're like you have a desire to be a good father
You would say I am the best father to my children
Even though you might not have children right now
But you could see that and you have that desire and you make that statement
You're like, you know what? I'm pretending to act like I couldn't be a good father, but I'm actually would be a great father
And you're like
I'm the best father to my children and somebody's like you but you don't have kids. Yeah, but when I do
Yeah, but when I do
I'm gonna be the best dad to my kids. You don't you just watch just you wait and see
But that's what that's what this that's what this question is all about
Anybody else want to share
I would like to
Go ahead David
Hey, um, I know you guys like warned about this but I
It's been a lot of breakthrough lately and I'm thanking God for it
But yeah, I'm having real problems in the last few days of extreme anger and sometime
I've heard over the years that some people say
You know depression is like repressed anger
But what do you think about that and anyone else who wants to weigh in on that?
Well, I mean like Jackie says she has a statement I mean this isn't
Like universe, this isn't just a blanket statement, but she says like this anger typically
is hurt and fears bodyguard so when you react in anger it's ticked if it's
typically something that is is is it's definitely a pain indicator and it's a
good thing because it's coming out if you've been just this like very
peaceable very like normal like like chill dude and you're like I don't I
don't bother anybody I'm not trying to impose myself on anybody and I'm a nice
guy and everything and that's your typical demeanor and then all of a
sudden you're like I'm man I've been angry that is an indicator something
that's trying to be released and get and and get out of you and so it's good but
typically it indicates something that like is fear and hurt so you're not like
what are you angry about what do you want to explore is like what is it
making is there a true specific trigger is it something that somebody says it's
a situation is it a person is it a is it a you know what is the thing that sort
of triggering the anger is it frustration with yourself you know or is
it you know what is it that's like if you can sort of mark that then that might
giving you an indicator as far as like what is what is the what is the thing
that's being feared or what is the thing that you're being hurt about that's
that's really the work to do there that's kind of the simple answer but
anybody else want to try so there is a point to the anger that you aren't able
to express if you turn inward will become depression so that I mean I think
there's two different things there like they're two distinct entities right now
if you have had so which actually if you look at that so it could be anger towards
yourself if you've been depressed and you've been angry at yourself or are not
able to express that like how why haven't you been able to express it and
look that because there's a pain that you felt that you weren't able to
express and then you turn it inward and now it's coming outward so you can see
it and get to the core of it but like pretty much what David said it's just an
end it's just an indicator on your dashboard that you need to look at
things for sure and so treat it as a good thing don't treat it like the
wheels are falling off and you don't want to you know go into this like anger
depression sort of thing and let it take over your life but you want to see it as
an indicator you want to see it as a dashboard light and you want to look
into that and go what is it that's triggering this anger is it when I do
something or is it is it when I go to a certain place is it when I you know see
somebody or is it you know when I think about this situation what is it that's
triggering the anger and it focus it on that and then ask Holy Spirit what is
the truth about this situation what is the truth about this person what is the
truth about this memory maybe it's a memory of something that's triggering
that maybe it's just a situation that you're dealing with right now the
situationally like you know I don't know it's triggering it so look at what the
where the trigger is and then ask Holy Spirit okay what is the truth about this
situation that needs to be healed
okay go ahead go ahead I found for me and and well I guess I'm not gonna say
all guys in general but anger is like a blanket that you throw over everything
because you're hurt or you're frustrated you're angry if someone and for me I
find if I start saying oh if I feel hurt and I say oh I don't care that's like
I cover mechanism because I really do care and it's yeah it's like pushing it
down so whenever I go oh yeah I don't care that this happened but I really do
and and then and then if you're frustrated or whatever or you don't want
to feel hurt or pain so you just get angry and it's just a big blanket and
then now you don't have to look at your what's really causing it because you're
just going off yeah this is why men explode a lot because there's a lot of
things happening and we're a man like you know like Jackie's even outlined
this very clearly it's kind of like the box of crayons when you're in kinder in
first grade you know we have eight colors men do we have like eight
emotions or maybe even less women they have like 248 you know they're like all
nuance and all these different things and they understand these things they
have emotion for this and emotion for that whatever lots of times it's just
like dude I got one color it's red I'm pissed off like everything pisses me
off and that's the one emotion I have and so when I get emotional I just get
mad
You know, and it's just like, okay, so that's just your indicator.
That's all.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think it's important to note that we're basically up until maybe less than a year
ago, I've been stuffing in motions and violating my own boundaries, but I didn't know what
that was.
Okay.
You know, you know, it's saying violating your own boundaries, how about overextending
myself with my strength, which became a weakness, as you know, Jackie says, you overextend it.
You mean, you mean like you've been too giving of yourself, letting other people take advantage
of you.
Yeah.
And that comes from, that comes from poor, you know, parental connection.
If they go back to those areas, then you learn how to put out the fires and the, and, and
get parentified.
Yeah.
It's reversed.
You become the, the one that one or both the parents, you know, emotional support, and
you're not supposed to do that when you're a child.
It has, you know, it's very, it's very toxic and yeah.
So the, so the, the place to start there, if you, if you're connecting it with like
how you're raised first place to start there, it's just kind of like taking a moment to
do heartwork, do the forgiveness prayer centered around your parents.
And it's just a general raising of your parents overall.
And then there might be some specific instances that you remember where you felt like you
were unsupported like that.
You were unheard, you were not taken seriously and you were taken advantage of whatever way.
And then you just, you walk through the forgiveness prayer for each one of those memories.
And you can take time to do that.
If you have a moment of time, like an afternoon or something and do some stuff like that.
Can you guys still hear me?
Some reason I'm trying to, can you, yeah, cool.
If you don't have a long time, you can just do it over like a number of different sessions.
Take 15 minutes here and there.
If you're, if I'm core memory is coming up, that's, that's, that's triggering your anger
or you're thinking like, Oh, I remembered that one time when this happened.
And then take that as a core memory and then process that through the forgiveness prayer.
It's in your heartwork materials.
Okay.
It's in the book.
And you just walk through that forgiveness prayer for each one of those core memories.
And you can just continue doing that for each one.
And the more you do that, and the more you walk through it, you just trust something.
Something may not, you may not feel anything change.
You may not feel like all this relief or this weight lifted off, whatever, or you may feel
that.
That's awesome if you do.
But even if you don't, what you're doing is you're just releasing and you're just trusting
God and trusting the process of forgiveness and you're trusting Holy Spirit to do the
work that's necessary inside of you to get you to the point of the healed heart.
All right.
I guess real quick, another side thing would be, I'm still trying to learn how to correctly
process grief and not get stuck in it because like 13 years ago, 13 years ago, my dad passed
away and the first four years after that were crazy.
Like I, I did not too well.
I mean, it was, you know, I didn't make any plans, but it wasn't good like suicide wise,
you know what I mean?
So anyway, but yeah, and it put a lot of delay in my life, you know, from like situation
of like, you know, your dad passing and there's some unresolved, you know, feelings from how
your relationship was with your dad.
There can be that.
And you can process through the same thing, you know, and do some forgiveness around the
fact that, you know, your dad passed away before bringing some resolve to that.
And we even do some stuff too, where, you know, like, I mean, I, I I'll apologize as
a father, you know, as to my own children, I am a father and I'll stand in the stead
of your father.
And I will tell you, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I, that I'm gone and I passed away and that I wasn't able to resolve whatever
issues.
I'm sorry that I treated you or didn't attend to you the way that, that I should have as
your father.
I'm sorry that I didn't give you the resources and the training and the fatherly instruction
that you needed from me in order to live a full life.
And I'm sorry that I'm.
I'm not here anymore, but I love you.
I've always loved you.
I valued you and I'm sorry.
And I repent to you that, that I wasn't there for you like that.
And I'll tell you that as a father, I'll stand in the stead of
your father and tell you that.
And if you can accept that, he can receive that and you can process
some forgiveness around that, that can bring some healing to
you in that situation as well.
They can release you also have the grief of that because what grief
usually is, it's not grief is usually unresolved feelings and emotions
and in situations because it's, you feel like it's not capable anymore
because that person's just not here anymore.
That's typically what grief is.
The loss of the ability to reconcile.
Yeah.
The thing that's triggering it the most right now is my mom is having health
issues, she's in the hospital again and she's 81 now, so, but like considering
that she's like still really strong and mentally sharp, but it's just.
You have a good relationship with her?
Oh, well, it was pretty much kind of lousy until like, I mean, it was
mediocre, I would say, but yeah, that was partly had to do with where I was at.
But like since, since January, it's been a lot better.
I spent a lot of time with her and I guess the thing that's triggering me is I'm like
the social person out of my siblings.
Uh huh.
So I take on taking care of her while the other two don't do that much because
they're more, they're more like, I don't know if you ever heard the difference.
I forget how to say it, but some people are more like facts oriented.
Other people are more relational oriented, but yeah.
So like, I'm like, I always felt like the black sheep out of my siblings.
Cause you know, but I gotta be careful if I take on, it's one thing if I want to do
it, but I'm just doing it because no one else wants to do it.
That's yeah.
That's, that's going to trigger a lot of.
Raw emotion at least isn't something that's anger.
Yeah.
So anyway, yeah, no, yeah, no, that's very common.
Very typical.
I can, I can understand that.
Um, and you want to do the best you can to, you know, to, with the relationship
that you, that you still have and that she's still around, um, and just trust
that God's going to create an open door for that.
Um, but definitely process, continue to process forgiveness and releasing
through, through that hard work process.
Um, and work through it.
I'm thankful.
It's the best it's ever been actually.
And I actually see her, you know, cause she didn't have a father growing up.
I mean, they got, they got divorced when she was 13 and, and I think she'd struggle
with being like emotionally dysregulated and all that kind of stuff.
She's into that all this time, you know?
So, but yeah.
Yeah.
The same situation right now where I'm just trying to reconcile my dad's
84, he'll be 85 here this month.
And, um, he was gone most of my life.
Um, not in a bad way.
He was in a, he's not a bad person, but he just was abdicated the father ship
because he was just off doing his own thing.
My mom divorced him when I was three years old and moved me to Ohio and
moved me out of proximity to my dad.
I got to see him a couple of weeks a year and maybe call him on the
phone a couple of times a year.
And that was it.
It was the only father connection I had with my biological father.
And even though I had a good surrogate stepfather or bonus dad, he was a good
man too, he was, but he was a different kind of a father to me, didn't
understand me quite as well as my biological father would have sort of
that innate understanding of me.
I always felt like there was something I was missing.
So I had two dads and I still felt fatherless.
Right.
But now in my later years, I've moved my dad in proximity to me in the last
couple of years and he's 85, there's not as much relational part of it because
he's sort of stuck in his way and he is who he is and he's talks how he is.
And he's not completely relational, but I'm, I'm making the best of it in
these later years and redeeming some of that time, whatever I can, you know?
And it's, it's not perfect.
There's lots of things.
But I've had to release a lot of that, I've had to walk in forgiveness, and I've had to kind of allow God to do as much of a redemptive work as possible.
So I feel you.
Feel you on that.
Thank you, David.
I appreciate it.
Sorry, I didn't mean to keep going on and on, but it's like—
That's all right.
No, this is what these are calling for.
I think I might be an external processor, and that's really hard to do when you live by yourself.
No, I get it.
I get it.
You need to find somebody that's in proximity to you that you can do some of that processing with.
That's important.
Now, you're social, so I challenge you a little bit to use some of your social ability to find somebody who's—allow the Holy Spirit to really connect you with somebody who's a friend that you can just chill with.
I'm thinking a guy, but maybe it's the person that's your significant other.
Maybe it's your spirit mate.
Yeah, the thing I've done lately is—you could argue I've burned bridges, but a lot of those relationships that I had to let go recently were all built on me being insecure, and I felt like I draw—you know, the same as I was insecure, I was drawing the same type of people.
Right, right.
We just got to the point where we're starting to annoy each other, if you want to be honest.
I mean, we'd never say that or admit it, but we're just—all we did, you know, it's like we would be cordial and polite most of the time and talk about, you know, lighter stuff, but underneath—but at times, we'd really jab each other, and it's just like, this is not healthy, you know?
Yeah.
So I just pray—I just agree with you that the Holy Spirit's going to really—because proximity is important.
It really is.
And I believe there's somebody that God has for you to make that connection that's appropriate, that you guys can be strengthening to each other, and whether that's a guy that's a friend or even somebody who's your spirit mate, that you can, you know, connect with in a healthful situation, not a codependent situation, not an annoying situation, but just an appropriate relationship that can be healthy to you.
I just agree with you right now, the Holy Spirit, that someone in proximity to David, that person that you have prepared for him, Lord, will reveal themselves, and that will begin to happen for him because proximity is important.
You've made preparation for him.
You care for him.
You see him.
And I just agree with that, that there'll be a breakthrough in that relationship in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Wow, guys, this was good.
This was good.
I hope you guys are getting all—I mean, just because we're processing David and processing Joshua and Mike, hopefully you're getting a lot of—out of this.
Write down that question that I asked because it's a powerful one.
It's one of those questions that, like, you can continue to search out and answer and to really go for it.
That is, like, what is it you're pretending not to know?
It's a big question.
Okay.
Amen.
All right.
Amen.
I—we're past the hour, guys, so I want to respect your time.
And if there's something you want to share, definitely you can—you have my email.
Reach out.
We can share and process together as well.
So we'll do that, and I will see you guys soon at a later time.
Have a blessed week, gentlemen.
God bless you guys.
Have a good night, everybody.
Oh, hey, Thursday, guys.
Don't forget Thursday.
Check your calendars as they—what is it?
Halftime shift on Thursday.
It's on your calendars.
It's there on—it's all community.
It's like an all-community night.
Real quick question.
Was there no men's meeting last night?
Because there's no recording.
Last week, was there no meeting, or was it not recorded by accident?
No, no, no.
I thought it was recorded.
I'll look for the recording.
I'm pretty sure it was recorded.
Yeah, I don't see it in the thing.
I see the one on the third.
I'll check up on it.
I'll check up on it and see if it was recorded.
I'm pretty sure we hit record.
Okay.
But, well, I'll check into that.
Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
All right.
Bye, guys.
Have a blessed night.