WEBVTT

1
00:00:05.420 --> 00:00:09.140
Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome.

2
00:00:10.700 --> 00:00:13.000
We have some people logging in right now.

3
00:00:13.260 --> 00:00:17.460
If you are joining us for the first time tonight, we'd love for you to put that in the chat

4
00:00:17.460 --> 00:00:21.220
for me so that I know that you're new and we can welcome you.

5
00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:22.220
Hi, Pamela.

6
00:00:22.460 --> 00:00:23.260
Hi, ladies.

7
00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:28.300
Those of you that are joining us again, maybe you've been here once, twice, a couple times,

8
00:00:28.300 --> 00:00:31.080
so glad that you're joining us again this evening.

9
00:00:31.240 --> 00:00:32.240
My name is Bethany Cooper.

10
00:00:32.439 --> 00:00:34.580
I'm one of the Master Harbor coaches here in our community.

11
00:00:35.080 --> 00:00:41.660
And it's my pleasure to be here with all of you tonight to dive into the content God has

12
00:00:41.660 --> 00:00:47.180
for us and to level up in our healing, if you will, to hear what heaven is saying over

13
00:00:47.180 --> 00:00:50.520
us and to us, you know, as we go tonight.

14
00:00:50.780 --> 00:00:56.460
And hopefully some of you have come expecting God to do something in your life personally

15
00:00:56.980 --> 00:01:01.920
to help you gain a little bit more revelation and insight into things that are causing you

16
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:07.200
to subconsciously be stuck and potentially held back in certain areas of your life.

17
00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:11.540
Again, if you're here joining us for the first time, if you've never been to a live session

18
00:01:11.540 --> 00:01:15.880
before, and this is your first one, let me know in the chat so we can welcome you.

19
00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:19.560
I want to make sure we give a shout out to our new ladies again, for all my ladies that

20
00:01:19.560 --> 00:01:20.740
are joining back.

21
00:01:21.300 --> 00:01:21.920
Welcome back.

22
00:01:22.020 --> 00:01:24.300
We're so glad to have you here with us tonight.

23
00:01:24.300 --> 00:01:28.240
I have a couple of housekeeping items for us to go through tonight.

24
00:01:29.020 --> 00:01:31.540
As always, Supernatural Saturday replay.

25
00:01:31.700 --> 00:01:36.360
If you haven't been able to watch that or hear that, definitely want to encourage you

26
00:01:36.360 --> 00:01:41.680
all to build time into your week this week to check that out under the replay tab.

27
00:01:42.080 --> 00:01:43.800
It is called Where Are You Pretending?

28
00:01:45.300 --> 00:01:49.620
And I believe it's going to bring a lot of clarity to all of you in this season.

29
00:01:50.140 --> 00:01:54.920
We all face areas of our lives where we might be avoiding something or we might be struggling

30
00:01:54.920 --> 00:01:59.140
with hearing a lie and it's causing us to pretend or to partner with things that do

31
00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:02.560
not align with what heaven's voice and heart is saying over us.

32
00:02:02.860 --> 00:02:05.200
Again, I encourage you all to check that replay out.

33
00:02:05.360 --> 00:02:14.500
For my first time ladies, hello Allie, Vanessa, let's see here, Katie, and iPhone.

34
00:02:14.620 --> 00:02:16.800
Let us know who you are.

35
00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:24.960
If you all can, when you log in, if you are able, if you click on your picture or around

36
00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:29.200
your name, there's three dots that show up and then when you click on that, you can click

37
00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:32.340
to rename your profile and that's how you can change your name.

38
00:02:32.780 --> 00:02:35.240
Welcome back, like I said, to all of you that are rejoining us.

39
00:02:35.340 --> 00:02:36.580
So glad to have you here with us.

40
00:02:36.920 --> 00:02:38.380
A couple more housekeeping items.

41
00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:42.800
As you all are in here in the heartwork, we really encourage you to practice coming out

42
00:02:42.820 --> 00:02:43.260
of hiding.

43
00:02:43.260 --> 00:02:46.640
One of the ways we do that is I always encourage you all to come on screen.

44
00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:47.800
That's right.

45
00:02:47.860 --> 00:02:49.640
We love seeing you on screen.

46
00:02:50.100 --> 00:02:52.000
It's okay if you don't have makeup done.

47
00:02:52.700 --> 00:02:55.360
It's okay if you're kind of weren't planning on that.

48
00:02:55.360 --> 00:03:00.280
If you're really not able, we totally understand, but a lot of times what I have found since

49
00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:04.840
I've been coaching in this program, that we have people that genuinely do not like to

50
00:03:04.840 --> 00:03:06.300
see themselves on screen.

51
00:03:07.540 --> 00:03:12.100
They don't like to allow other people to see them and so it's going to help some of you

52
00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:14.840
to level up in your healing in that regard as well.

53
00:03:15.020 --> 00:03:19.220
You're allowing yourself to be seen, known, heard, and loved, okay?

54
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:24.260
All right, so when you do that, you're also showing up for yourself, all right?

55
00:03:24.260 --> 00:03:28.620
So it's not so much for us, even though I love to see you, truly, I love to see all

56
00:03:28.620 --> 00:03:29.520
of your beautiful faces.

57
00:03:29.940 --> 00:03:31.160
It is about you.

58
00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:36.480
It's about showing up for yourself and really knowing your value in this world and in these

59
00:03:36.640 --> 00:03:39.060
sessions in this group, in this community.

60
00:03:39.660 --> 00:03:43.680
Heart posture as you go through heart healing, as well as the remainder of the phases of

61
00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:45.660
our program, heart posture is key.

62
00:03:46.100 --> 00:03:47.680
You guys, I can't say it enough.

63
00:03:48.720 --> 00:03:53.800
You know, when you come in just being really open, no matter how much healing you've gone

64
00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:58.380
through before, no matter how much counseling, coaching, maybe some of you are actually counselors

65
00:03:58.380 --> 00:04:04.320
or coaches or ministry leaders, whatever your background is, that you would come in with

66
00:04:04.320 --> 00:04:09.060
a completely open heart, teachable heart, a humble heart to hear what the Holy Spirit

67
00:04:09.060 --> 00:04:10.300
is going to say to you.

68
00:04:10.300 --> 00:04:15.480
The people that I have found that struggle the most are people that fly through the program

69
00:04:15.720 --> 00:04:20.120
because they're just trying to get to the men, as well as people that just say, hey,

70
00:04:20.120 --> 00:04:24.240
I've already heard all this, I've got this, and they just fly through as well.

71
00:04:24.440 --> 00:04:28.020
You know, I believe in the Holy Spirit accelerating people's processes, totally.

72
00:04:28.080 --> 00:04:32.520
But one of the things I said this afternoon, y'all, let's learn from the best, okay?

73
00:04:33.180 --> 00:04:36.460
Jesus was the best, and Jesus had boundaries, okay?

74
00:04:36.700 --> 00:04:41.860
So we make recommendations, we tell you what the best practice is, one week of content

75
00:04:41.860 --> 00:04:42.420
per week.

76
00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:47.580
If you go slower than that, that is fine, but we don't want you going faster than that.

77
00:04:47.900 --> 00:04:51.740
Are we going to stop you and say, okay, you can never move forward?

78
00:04:51.780 --> 00:04:56.160
No, of course, we're not going to do that, but we're going to ask you to really give

79
00:04:56.380 --> 00:04:59.980
yourself your best shot ever, and to give yourself at least five weeks.

80
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.240
to process and unpack the things that are going to come up to the surface. And for those of you,

81
00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:09.180
if you go through it and you're not feeling anything coming up to the surface, it is

82
00:05:09.200 --> 00:05:14.920
probably because you've really pressed things down so far that you're numb. Okay, so it might

83
00:05:14.920 --> 00:05:19.620
take you a little longer for things to come to the surface for revealing for healing.

84
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:24.880
Distractions are going to come your way, just like everybody else. As you go through this

85
00:05:24.880 --> 00:05:30.820
process, you might have kids having needs out of nowhere, X is popping up, like,

86
00:05:30.980 --> 00:05:34.800
how did this person circle back right in the time I'm entering heartwork? Yep,

87
00:05:34.940 --> 00:05:40.040
it happens all the time. That doesn't necessarily mean that person is sent by the Lord. Okay,

88
00:05:40.040 --> 00:05:46.320
I'm not saying there aren't times on occasion that things come full circle, but even if they did,

89
00:05:46.440 --> 00:05:51.680
that person should be different. Okay, they should be different and they should wait until

90
00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:56.160
you finish with the heartwork. Yep, that's right. We're going to ask you to wait until you're

91
00:05:56.160 --> 00:05:59.700
finished with the heartwork. And we're going to ask you to be like, hey, I'm really doing something

92
00:05:59.700 --> 00:06:04.320
awesome. I'm investing in my heart healing during this time. So I'm not on any dating apps. I'm not

93
00:06:04.320 --> 00:06:08.480
going on dates with anybody. And even though we've dated before, I'm not going to date you right now

94
00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:14.160
because I'm taking care of me. Yes, that's right. I'm giving you all verbiage on what you can say

95
00:06:14.540 --> 00:06:19.680
exactly if these things start popping up for you. You might also have distractions popping up at

96
00:06:19.840 --> 00:06:27.620
work or other places. Ladies, you matter. Okay, more than ever before. We need you to really hear

97
00:06:27.960 --> 00:06:34.960
what I'm saying. You matter. Your heart healing matters. Stay focused, keep going and don't give

98
00:06:34.960 --> 00:06:39.260
up. Remember, you're putting one foot in front of the other. So every day, just do the next best

99
00:06:39.320 --> 00:06:45.200
thing in your heart healing process. And I promise you're going to make it through. Okay. All right,

100
00:06:45.220 --> 00:06:49.220
let me pray for us. And then we're going to dive into the content again. So glad you're here with

101
00:06:49.220 --> 00:06:53.940
us. If you're new for the first time, be sure to put that in the chat for us. And we will welcome

102
00:06:53.940 --> 00:06:59.940
you ladies returning. Welcome back. Father, thank you so much for this night. God, we thank you that

103
00:07:00.460 --> 00:07:06.640
God, nothing is too hard for you, God, that you redefine our understanding, the revelation of how

104
00:07:06.640 --> 00:07:12.020
we see the world, how we experience you, God, as well as other people. We ask you to bring

105
00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:17.360
revealings for healing God, one after the other after the other tonight. We thank you, God, that

106
00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:23.180
you bring things out of darkness into the light. God, let there be a illumination supernaturally

107
00:07:23.440 --> 00:07:28.440
happening throughout this session, God, that people would experience you first and foremost,

108
00:07:28.440 --> 00:07:33.740
that your presence would be right in their homes, God, that they would have a tangible experience

109
00:07:33.740 --> 00:07:38.360
with you. God, we thank you that you would open blinded eyes, that you would help us to see what

110
00:07:38.360 --> 00:07:44.920
we can't see, God, so that we can have breakthrough tonight, not a week from now, but tonight, God,

111
00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:51.680
that shifting and changes would start to happen, just like tectonic shifts happen underneath

112
00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:56.280
the surface, where we believe you're doing things in the supernatural realm underneath the surface,

113
00:07:56.500 --> 00:08:01.400
God, so help us to receive everything you have for us. Holy Spirit, thanks for being here

114
00:08:01.400 --> 00:08:06.440
and being our guide and our counselor and our comforter every step of the way. In Jesus name,

115
00:08:06.840 --> 00:08:11.880
amen. Ladies, tonight we're talking about overcoming fear and anxiety. We're going to

116
00:08:11.880 --> 00:08:18.300
a couple other things along the way as the Lord has led me to them as I prepared for the sessions

117
00:08:18.440 --> 00:08:23.860
today, but first and foremost, I just want to talk to you about your hearts and how highly

118
00:08:24.340 --> 00:08:29.140
impressionable they are. I want you to think about the fact that everything that you hear,

119
00:08:29.420 --> 00:08:34.220
everything that you see, everything that you allow to enter your heart, as we've talked about

120
00:08:34.220 --> 00:08:41.320
in the past, everything that goes into our hearts is reproduced, okay? So if we are allowing things

121
00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:47.640
to go into our hearts that are causing us to have more fear, have more anxiety, more panic,

122
00:08:48.180 --> 00:08:53.240
y'all, it's just going to continue to increase that versus, I want to encourage you during this

123
00:08:53.240 --> 00:08:57.700
time, I've even had ladies, this I believe might be for someone, I'm not saying this is for everyone,

124
00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:05.720
but we have had ladies literally move their TV out of their main room during the time of

125
00:09:06.640 --> 00:09:13.560
literally to make it unaccessible to watch TV and it really helped them to create the space

126
00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:18.060
to hear everything that the Lord was saying because some of us, myself included, I don't

127
00:09:18.060 --> 00:09:23.640
know if y'all ever do this, but when I get overwhelmed, sometimes I find that I binge watch.

128
00:09:24.800 --> 00:09:32.000
I binge watch TV. I unplug. I escape into a fake world. Anybody else ever done that?

129
00:09:32.560 --> 00:09:38.280
Yeah. And so some of us, we need to really understand that when we feel that pressure,

130
00:09:38.760 --> 00:09:44.720
we might need to get rid of that go-to for us. Yeah. Scrolling on Facebook or social media,

131
00:09:44.800 --> 00:09:50.500
that's a huge one. It's so easy for us. Y'all, sometimes I literally, because I'm on there for

132
00:09:50.500 --> 00:09:54.740
work, I'll find myself scrolling and I'm like, why am I even looking at this right now? I actually

133
00:09:54.740 --> 00:09:59.380
was getting on here to look at something I actually like literally needed to look at.

134
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.880
So let's pay attention to those things as well.

135
00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:08.080
But also I want to encourage you regarding movies, shows, news, y'all.

136
00:10:08.300 --> 00:10:11.920
We talked about the news a little bit this afternoon, not in depth, but if you

137
00:10:11.920 --> 00:10:16.600
have high anxiety, I really want to encourage you to, um, not watch the news.

138
00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:17.760
Okay.

139
00:10:17.760 --> 00:10:20.280
You can get your information another way.

140
00:10:20.540 --> 00:10:27.700
The news is unindated with death, panic, fear, dread, like destruction.

141
00:10:27.700 --> 00:10:31.440
They're, you know, it's just, it's not going to serve you well.

142
00:10:31.520 --> 00:10:35.140
And especially when all kinds of stuff is going to get stirred up in your spirit.

143
00:10:35.260 --> 00:10:36.780
I need you all to understand.

144
00:10:36.800 --> 00:10:38.680
You need to be on guard.

145
00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:42.540
Hey, you, we are the ones in charge of guard, guarding our hearts and

146
00:10:42.540 --> 00:10:43.880
our minds through Christ Jesus.

147
00:10:44.140 --> 00:10:44.580
Okay.

148
00:10:45.160 --> 00:10:48.780
God can do that for us, but we have to take an active role and

149
00:10:48.780 --> 00:10:51.080
participate with him in that process.

150
00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:56.320
Proverbs 4 23 in the ESV version says, keep your heart with all vigilance for

151
00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:58.860
from it flows the springs of life.

152
00:10:59.500 --> 00:11:02.840
Vigilance actually means the quality or state of being vigilant.

153
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:09.300
Vigilant actually means alertly watchful to avoid danger.

154
00:11:09.880 --> 00:11:17.300
So I want you to think about the last, you know, 24 hours, how alert and watch

155
00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:22.540
watchful were you regarding what went into your heart, what went into your spirit?

156
00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:26.740
I want you just to genuinely think about that.

157
00:11:27.620 --> 00:11:32.920
And we all struggle at times to, we start our day and maybe we're like a quarter

158
00:11:32.920 --> 00:11:36.560
way through the day, halfway through the day, sometimes heck all the way through

159
00:11:36.560 --> 00:11:41.560
the day, and then we realize we've been following the enemy down a trail that

160
00:11:41.560 --> 00:11:45.960
has nothing to do with what heaven is saying over us, anyone else ever done that?

161
00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:51.760
Your mind is caught up in fear and anxiety and panic, and you're thinking

162
00:11:51.760 --> 00:11:56.380
about all these, what if scenarios and, and before you realize it, you know,

163
00:11:56.380 --> 00:11:58.120
you're way down that trail with him.

164
00:11:58.760 --> 00:12:03.080
And so I want to encourage you in this, in this time as well, to really be

165
00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.000
mindful about putting on the armor of God.

166
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:09.680
If you don't know what that is, it is listed out in Ephesians for you.

167
00:12:09.940 --> 00:12:11.780
I think it's Ephesians six.

168
00:12:12.400 --> 00:12:12.840
Yeah.

169
00:12:13.740 --> 00:12:14.180
I'm sorry.

170
00:12:14.200 --> 00:12:16.520
When I said it, I was like, why am I thinking Galatians?

171
00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:17.540
I'm pretty sure it's Ephesians.

172
00:12:17.540 --> 00:12:20.820
So Ephesians six, and just be reading over that.

173
00:12:21.240 --> 00:12:25.800
And literally I, I declare out loud all of the pieces of the armor over

174
00:12:25.800 --> 00:12:28.620
myself and my family on a regular basis.

175
00:12:28.620 --> 00:12:30.160
I try to do it daily.

176
00:12:30.280 --> 00:12:32.380
I want to encourage you all to do the same.

177
00:12:33.040 --> 00:12:33.520
Okay.

178
00:12:33.520 --> 00:12:36.880
Fear is false evidence appearing real.

179
00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:41.820
So what I want to do right now is I want to hear from you all in the chat.

180
00:12:41.820 --> 00:12:44.380
So you don't have to unmute, but just put in the chat for me.

181
00:12:44.380 --> 00:12:48.940
In the last, let's say three days, what is something that you

182
00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:51.220
have feared or had anxiety about?

183
00:12:51.500 --> 00:12:53.080
You don't have to tell a whole scenario.

184
00:12:53.260 --> 00:12:56.780
You can just put something in there quick, but have you had any

185
00:12:56.780 --> 00:12:59.700
fears or anxiety surface, anxious thoughts?

186
00:13:00.300 --> 00:13:03.520
Maybe you didn't struggle with anxiety, but there was some kind of anxious thought.

187
00:13:04.160 --> 00:13:05.900
Um, and what, what was that?

188
00:13:05.980 --> 00:13:06.960
How did that show up for you?

189
00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:11.400
So Lucy says, fear of what people think my health, Lydia Alexander, my

190
00:13:11.400 --> 00:13:14.700
friend being mad at me due to her own insecurities, a huge bill that's due

191
00:13:14.700 --> 00:13:17.920
tomorrow, I'm just going to start to read them now work stuff, uh, yeah.

192
00:13:17.920 --> 00:13:19.240
Cause I won't be able to keep up with him.

193
00:13:19.320 --> 00:13:19.620
All right.

194
00:13:19.620 --> 00:13:20.220
I love it.

195
00:13:20.220 --> 00:13:20.940
I love it.

196
00:13:20.940 --> 00:13:24.120
Too much to do and fearful of not accomplishing them.

197
00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:27.900
Heartbreak, potential flooding, whether or not I need to get moving with real

198
00:13:27.980 --> 00:13:32.720
estate, fear of being alone in a hard season, holding boundaries, pains I felt

199
00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:37.740
in my body, homelessness, fear that no one wants me, work, another work one.

200
00:13:37.740 --> 00:13:42.760
My health finances, turning a year older, starting a new career relationship,

201
00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:44.060
returning back to work.

202
00:13:44.360 --> 00:13:44.840
Okay.

203
00:13:44.840 --> 00:13:45.640
About this guy.

204
00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.640
Call me back after a lunch date.

205
00:13:47.860 --> 00:13:48.080
Okay.

206
00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.560
Hopefully you're not dating right now.

207
00:13:49.660 --> 00:13:51.540
Hopefully you're pressing pause on that.

208
00:13:51.540 --> 00:13:55.360
Um, fear of losing a good friend when I move away interaction with my daughter.

209
00:13:55.820 --> 00:13:56.260
Okay.

210
00:13:56.260 --> 00:13:59.900
Jenny, we'll, we'll pray over family stuff tonight before we log off.

211
00:13:59.900 --> 00:14:02.140
That came up quite a bit this afternoon as well.

212
00:14:02.300 --> 00:14:04.340
Work stuff, constant stress at work.

213
00:14:04.340 --> 00:14:08.000
Fear family won't love me if I don't do things for them or buy things.

214
00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:08.440


215
00:14:09.380 --> 00:14:09.820
Glenna.

216
00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:13.100
Fear of not having, having a job, the need of getting a new home.

217
00:14:13.720 --> 00:14:14.160
Okay.

218
00:14:14.180 --> 00:14:17.540
Roomies, negative money and resources, fear of birthday coming up soon.

219
00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:19.060
There's two tonight about that.

220
00:14:19.060 --> 00:14:22.780
Fear of not finding a place to live and timing of move to Texas.

221
00:14:22.920 --> 00:14:23.320
Okay.

222
00:14:23.320 --> 00:14:25.780
And if y'all have more of this totally fine, you can put them in the chat.

223
00:14:25.780 --> 00:14:28.360
I'm going to keep moving because your voice does matter.

224
00:14:28.620 --> 00:14:32.700
So as those come up for you, as we continue going, feel free to share those.

225
00:14:32.700 --> 00:14:36.780
These are valid, real things that we're all facing on a daily basis.

226
00:14:36.880 --> 00:14:41.740
The enemies, one of his biggest tactics is to try to get us to partner with fear,

227
00:14:42.160 --> 00:14:46.480
anxiety, panic, worry, shame, guilt, condemnation.

228
00:14:46.520 --> 00:14:48.960
I mean, there's a lot, but those are, those are definitely

229
00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:50.800
things more than ever before.

230
00:14:50.800 --> 00:14:54.040
There's just this onslaught of all of these negative

231
00:14:54.040 --> 00:14:55.540
things that are coming our way.

232
00:14:55.640 --> 00:14:59.900
And so in the days ahead, I want you to pause when you have a fear.

233
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.520
or anxious thought and ask the Lord,

234
00:15:04.680 --> 00:15:08.040
what is the false evidence that is appearing real right now?

235
00:15:08.800 --> 00:15:11.480
What is, Lord, what is the false evidence

236
00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:15.520
that is appearing real to me in this situation right now?

237
00:15:17.160 --> 00:15:22.580
If you remember when Jesus was led into the wilderness,

238
00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:26.280
Satan came to him and tried to tempt him

239
00:15:26.280 --> 00:15:29.520
and use the truth and twist it,

240
00:15:30.280 --> 00:15:34.300
but he couldn't confuse Jesus because Jesus is the truth.

241
00:15:34.800 --> 00:15:38.380
But what happens when the enemy does that to us?

242
00:15:38.880 --> 00:15:41.700
If we don't have enough of the truth inside of us,

243
00:15:41.700 --> 00:15:45.240
a lot of times we might take the bait, right?

244
00:15:45.680 --> 00:15:47.220
Just like I was talking about earlier,

245
00:15:47.260 --> 00:15:49.360
when we start going down the road with him,

246
00:15:49.620 --> 00:15:52.340
when that isn't what heaven is saying over us

247
00:15:52.340 --> 00:15:53.820
or to us or about us.

248
00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:56.860
And so if we pause and ask the Lord,

249
00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:58.840
what is the false evidence appearing real?

250
00:15:59.400 --> 00:16:01.560
I believe the Lord will start to help us

251
00:16:01.560 --> 00:16:03.980
unpack these things and come out of alignment

252
00:16:03.980 --> 00:16:06.400
with fear and anxiety.

253
00:16:07.260 --> 00:16:08.920
Anxiety is fueled by fear.

254
00:16:09.040 --> 00:16:10.000
I don't know if you all know that,

255
00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:13.080
but it's actually fueled by fear and what if thoughts.

256
00:16:13.160 --> 00:16:15.000
So what if this, what if this happens,

257
00:16:15.100 --> 00:16:15.960
what if that happens?

258
00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:17.520
And then before we know it,

259
00:16:17.540 --> 00:16:19.580
it's turned into this whole trickle thing.

260
00:16:21.020 --> 00:16:22.960
Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us

261
00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:26.580
living that amazing life, excuse me, ladies,

262
00:16:26.700 --> 00:16:29.740
but it's the lies we believe as a result of the trauma.

263
00:16:30.520 --> 00:16:31.980
Okay, I'm gonna say that again.

264
00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:33.640
Trauma that happened to us

265
00:16:33.640 --> 00:16:36.980
isn't what stops us from living that amazing life.

266
00:16:37.300 --> 00:16:41.320
It is the lies we believe as a result of the trauma.

267
00:16:42.680 --> 00:16:46.360
Fears and anxiety feed off of the lies.

268
00:16:46.820 --> 00:16:49.360
Do you see kind of how that starts to build?

269
00:16:50.340 --> 00:16:54.060
We go through trauma and then because of the trauma,

270
00:16:54.340 --> 00:16:57.600
we tend to believe lies and then the anxiety

271
00:16:57.600 --> 00:17:00.300
and then the fear builds on top of these lies

272
00:17:00.300 --> 00:17:01.200
and the trauma.

273
00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:04.980
And they all start to kind of weave this web together

274
00:17:05.319 --> 00:17:07.800
that tends to get us stuck just like a bug

275
00:17:07.800 --> 00:17:08.880
in a spider's web.

276
00:17:09.700 --> 00:17:11.900
But tonight in Jesus name,

277
00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:13.460
the Lord is coming through

278
00:17:13.460 --> 00:17:15.220
and he's gonna start cutting the web

279
00:17:15.220 --> 00:17:17.140
that some of you all have been caught up in.

280
00:17:17.660 --> 00:17:19.920
I wanna share a couple stories from my own life

281
00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:22.520
as some of the things that happened before

282
00:17:22.520 --> 00:17:24.119
and things I've had to overcome.

283
00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.339
This afternoon, I tried to share briefly

284
00:17:28.420 --> 00:17:32.320
some of the literal deep, deep fears I dealt with

285
00:17:32.320 --> 00:17:33.400
as a young girl,

286
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:36.340
a lot to do with the abuse I had gone through.

287
00:17:36.520 --> 00:17:38.700
I had terrible fear of the dark.

288
00:17:38.940 --> 00:17:41.700
A lot of times it would often circle around

289
00:17:42.040 --> 00:17:43.400
a couple different things.

290
00:17:43.800 --> 00:17:46.040
The basement where a lot of the abuse happened,

291
00:17:46.040 --> 00:17:47.320
that's where our shower was

292
00:17:47.460 --> 00:17:50.180
and people, I don't know if they did it on purpose or not,

293
00:17:50.220 --> 00:17:51.960
but they would often turn the light out

294
00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:53.800
that was to the stairs from the basement,

295
00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:54.740
to the upstairs.

296
00:17:55.140 --> 00:17:56.500
And so when I would come out of the shower

297
00:17:56.500 --> 00:17:58.340
and turn the light out, it would be pitch black.

298
00:17:58.820 --> 00:18:00.800
And back in that day, I was allowed to watch movies

299
00:18:00.800 --> 00:18:02.040
I shouldn't have watched either.

300
00:18:03.060 --> 00:18:05.600
So Freddy Krueger, is he the one with the nails

301
00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:07.780
or the weird hands, whatever?

302
00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:10.860
Anyways, there was this furnace scene,

303
00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:12.100
I remember in one of the movies.

304
00:18:12.100 --> 00:18:16.660
Well, the furnace in our house was literally right there

305
00:18:16.700 --> 00:18:18.480
outside the bathroom door as well.

306
00:18:18.620 --> 00:18:20.840
And so there was all this fear and stuff,

307
00:18:20.920 --> 00:18:23.600
not Edward Scissorhands is like the bad guy.

308
00:18:23.980 --> 00:18:25.420
I used to watch scary stories, praise the Lord,

309
00:18:25.480 --> 00:18:26.380
I don't watch those anymore.

310
00:18:26.740 --> 00:18:28.460
I would encourage you all not to watch those.

311
00:18:29.280 --> 00:18:32.220
But anyways, the point, the reason I'm saying this

312
00:18:32.220 --> 00:18:35.960
is that literally I would like have to run

313
00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:37.760
from the basement to the upstairs

314
00:18:37.760 --> 00:18:40.180
because I was so afraid you all.

315
00:18:40.180 --> 00:18:43.460
Like it would come on me and I would feel it in my body

316
00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:45.940
and I would feel panic and I would have to run up.

317
00:18:46.220 --> 00:18:48.940
And then literally I would get to the top of the stairs

318
00:18:48.940 --> 00:18:50.740
and I also had this fear.

319
00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:53.960
And these were you all not even real things.

320
00:18:54.260 --> 00:18:57.320
I mean, they were based in trauma again and lies I believe,

321
00:18:57.480 --> 00:18:59.880
but they felt so real.

322
00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:02.340
When I got to the top of the stairs,

323
00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:05.500
we had this kitchen that had then off of it,

324
00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:08.680
this other room and the room was like all windows.

325
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:10.860
And when it would get dark out at night,

326
00:19:10.860 --> 00:19:13.560
I would be afraid that people were looking in the windows

327
00:19:13.560 --> 00:19:14.680
and they would see me.

328
00:19:15.180 --> 00:19:17.240
Now I have no clue where that came from,

329
00:19:17.700 --> 00:19:20.520
but multiple times that would come on me

330
00:19:20.520 --> 00:19:21.720
when it would be dark out

331
00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:23.860
and I would run from one side of the kitchen to the other.

332
00:19:24.660 --> 00:19:26.740
And you all, I can remember even as a young girl

333
00:19:26.740 --> 00:19:27.920
sitting in the living room,

334
00:19:28.120 --> 00:19:31.000
like hunched down in front of this chair

335
00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:32.660
because I literally was terrified

336
00:19:32.660 --> 00:19:33.960
people were looking in the windows.

337
00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:37.060
You all, this was real stuff that I experienced.

338
00:19:38.680 --> 00:19:40.640
It feels weird to even say that now

339
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:43.160
because it just seems like that wasn't my life.

340
00:19:44.800 --> 00:19:48.000
I ended up getting over this after I gave my life to Christ,

341
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:51.700
not in a, it didn't go away just like that ladies, okay?

342
00:19:51.980 --> 00:19:55.800
I had to walk through a process of literally denying

343
00:19:56.460 --> 00:19:58.500
that fleshly thing that would come on me

344
00:19:58.500 --> 00:19:59.380
through the spirit of fear.

345
00:19:59.400 --> 00:19:59.920
Like I would.

346
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.540
feel it and have to resist it.

347
00:20:02.560 --> 00:20:06.180
And God started teaching me how important it was

348
00:20:06.180 --> 00:20:08.000
to use my mouth to speak truth,

349
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:11.620
to counteract the lies that the enemy was saying to me,

350
00:20:11.620 --> 00:20:14.980
including how he was affecting me in my physical body.

351
00:20:16.180 --> 00:20:17.880
And that scripture is,

352
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:19.860
I do not have a spirit of fear,

353
00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:21.600
but I have a spirit of love and of power

354
00:20:21.600 --> 00:20:22.360
and of a sound mind.

355
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:23.880
Y'all, I literally back then,

356
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:25.180
my name was Bethany Stanko,

357
00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:26.780
and I would literally,

358
00:20:27.700 --> 00:20:30.000
I, Bethany Stanko, do not have a spirit of fear,

359
00:20:30.100 --> 00:20:32.980
but a spirit of love and of power and a sound mind.

360
00:20:33.020 --> 00:20:34.980
And the other thing the Lord taught me to do

361
00:20:34.980 --> 00:20:38.700
is instead of running and giving into that in my flesh,

362
00:20:39.220 --> 00:20:41.840
to resist that and walk slow.

363
00:20:42.940 --> 00:20:44.500
And little by little by little,

364
00:20:44.620 --> 00:20:46.220
every time I would do this, y'all,

365
00:20:46.680 --> 00:20:48.880
it started losing its grip on me.

366
00:20:48.900 --> 00:20:51.420
And I'm not saying I've never battled it ever again,

367
00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:54.980
but it had been a really long time

368
00:20:54.980 --> 00:20:57.980
and I had gotten over a lot of that stuff.

369
00:20:58.540 --> 00:20:59.480
And many years later,

370
00:20:59.480 --> 00:21:01.660
I was dating my spiritual daughter's dad,

371
00:21:01.980 --> 00:21:04.260
and that was not a good situation.

372
00:21:04.620 --> 00:21:06.220
And I already knew it wasn't good,

373
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:11.040
but then it came to the kind of the big hit in the gut

374
00:21:11.060 --> 00:21:13.360
when I found out, I don't know,

375
00:21:13.840 --> 00:21:14.900
as many as I found,

376
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:17.480
there was like five or six ladies he was talking to online.

377
00:21:17.500 --> 00:21:20.820
He was living all these different lives essentially,

378
00:21:20.940 --> 00:21:23.040
and it all came out in the open.

379
00:21:23.600 --> 00:21:25.660
And I just remember that day,

380
00:21:26.320 --> 00:21:28.580
literally just so overcome with,

381
00:21:29.040 --> 00:21:30.660
God, how could you let this happen?

382
00:21:31.080 --> 00:21:34.160
Like, and I blamed God for everything essentially,

383
00:21:34.980 --> 00:21:37.100
just because of the depths of my pain,

384
00:21:37.280 --> 00:21:38.160
that's where I was at.

385
00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:40.460
And in that day and in that moment,

386
00:21:41.560 --> 00:21:44.220
as I crumpled to the floor and pounded,

387
00:21:44.220 --> 00:21:45.860
y'all, I'm telling you really transparently,

388
00:21:46.080 --> 00:21:47.800
pounding my fist on the floor,

389
00:21:48.700 --> 00:21:51.160
crying out to the Lord, how could you let this happen?

390
00:21:53.540 --> 00:21:56.280
Guess what entered all the way back in, y'all?

391
00:21:56.460 --> 00:21:57.120
Anyone wanna guess?

392
00:21:58.420 --> 00:22:01.880
The fear, the anxiety, the panic,

393
00:22:01.920 --> 00:22:04.100
it all came back in like a flood.

394
00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:05.700
And when that happened,

395
00:22:05.800 --> 00:22:08.200
I didn't really fully even understand it then,

396
00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:12.820
but many years later, as I was processing my own heartwork,

397
00:22:13.880 --> 00:22:16.100
one of the things the Lord taught me

398
00:22:16.100 --> 00:22:17.940
was not only did that,

399
00:22:17.960 --> 00:22:21.060
that didn't just happen because of that current trauma,

400
00:22:21.860 --> 00:22:25.840
but what happened is when that came to the light,

401
00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:30.700
not only was the pain and the trauma surfaced from that,

402
00:22:31.140 --> 00:22:33.440
but it went right down into the core wound

403
00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:36.600
of my dad shooting on my mom and leaving our family.

404
00:22:37.420 --> 00:22:42.300
And my dad also giving my mom's identity to another woman,

405
00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:44.220
and it literally devastated my mom

406
00:22:44.220 --> 00:22:45.960
and impacted our family financially.

407
00:22:46.140 --> 00:22:49.000
There was just a lot my mom went through because of my dad.

408
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:52.280
And that's just scratching the surface.

409
00:22:53.100 --> 00:22:54.840
And so there was all this deep pain

410
00:22:54.840 --> 00:22:57.260
that I had processed some of it for years,

411
00:22:57.440 --> 00:22:59.480
but that all happening, man,

412
00:22:59.540 --> 00:23:01.320
it came and pushed right on the areas

413
00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:02.360
that weren't healed yet,

414
00:23:02.360 --> 00:23:04.300
that I didn't even know were still

415
00:23:04.420 --> 00:23:06.400
like ticking time bombs in there.

416
00:23:07.520 --> 00:23:10.780
But I'm saying all that to you to say this,

417
00:23:11.940 --> 00:23:14.360
I remember a few weeks after that,

418
00:23:14.500 --> 00:23:15.820
that day in the bathroom

419
00:23:15.820 --> 00:23:18.400
and the fist pump pounding on the floor,

420
00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:22.500
driving to work and just saying to God,

421
00:23:22.700 --> 00:23:24.220
why did you make me this way?

422
00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:27.080
That's literally what I said to him.

423
00:23:27.120 --> 00:23:28.360
Why did you make me this way?

424
00:23:28.360 --> 00:23:30.140
And I was talking to him about the anxiety.

425
00:23:31.560 --> 00:23:34.860
And he said, literally in my spirit,

426
00:23:34.900 --> 00:23:37.680
the still small voice said, I didn't.

427
00:23:38.800 --> 00:23:40.480
And I'm like, what do you mean?

428
00:23:40.840 --> 00:23:43.280
I've been like this as long as I can remember.

429
00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:46.240
Why did you make me this way?

430
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:49.160
And he responded and said,

431
00:23:49.420 --> 00:23:51.840
Bethany, I didn't make you this way.

432
00:23:52.320 --> 00:23:56.380
When I created you, nothing bad or negative was in you.

433
00:23:57.560 --> 00:24:00.360
And I remember as soon as that started coming,

434
00:24:00.620 --> 00:24:02.860
that revelation, things started clicking like,

435
00:24:03.180 --> 00:24:07.400
oh yeah, God doesn't make or put anything bad in us

436
00:24:07.400 --> 00:24:08.700
or negative things in us.

437
00:24:09.140 --> 00:24:11.000
And then I started connecting the dots.

438
00:24:11.360 --> 00:24:15.040
So, okay, yeah, this entered when trauma entered my life.

439
00:24:15.840 --> 00:24:17.780
So I'm just saying to you all,

440
00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:20.720
what are you still carrying in your life

441
00:24:20.760 --> 00:24:24.440
and blaming God for that he actually didn't put in you?

442
00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:27.720
He didn't put that there.

443
00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:31.420
The enemy through the trauma you went through

444
00:24:31.420 --> 00:24:34.020
presented lies to you that are causing you

445
00:24:34.020 --> 00:24:36.500
to partner with things that are not true about you.

446
00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:39.680
God did not make me an anxious person.

447
00:24:39.980 --> 00:24:42.240
He didn't make me a fearful person.

448
00:24:42.820 --> 00:24:45.400
The enemy presented those things.

449
00:24:45.560 --> 00:24:46.720
And because I was too little,

450
00:24:46.900 --> 00:24:49.820
I didn't know how to defend myself from that stuff.

451
00:24:50.840 --> 00:24:53.040
I didn't know how to not partner with that.

452
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:55.800
And so I believed him.

453
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:59.560
And so all those years later, even as an adult,

454
00:24:59.640 --> 00:24:59.980
because all those years later,

455
00:24:59.980 --> 00:24:59.980


456
00:24:59.980 --> 00:24:59.980


457
00:24:59.980 --> 00:24:59.980


458
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.960
all that pain coming uncapped, it was like Pandora's box just opening right back up.

459
00:25:07.080 --> 00:25:10.800
There it was again, all that stuff just surfacing out of nowhere.

460
00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:17.740
But y'all, here I am, I overcame it and I don't deal with that stuff anymore. Am I saying I've

461
00:25:17.740 --> 00:25:21.620
never had another anxious thought? No, I'm not saying that. But what I'm saying is,

462
00:25:21.980 --> 00:25:29.120
I don't battle with deep anxiety and panic and worry and fear anymore. And if I feel that stuff

463
00:25:29.120 --> 00:25:36.980
rising up in me, I remind the devil of who he is and who I am. I am not an anxious person.

464
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.580
I walk in all the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I am full of the spirit of the living God.

465
00:25:41.660 --> 00:25:46.100
The same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead is living in me and operating through me.

466
00:25:46.100 --> 00:25:53.240
And he can crush the spirit of fear or anxiety or panic or anything that would try to rise up

467
00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:59.400
against me. He demolishes every stronghold. Y'all, this is legit. We have to speak out of

468
00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:05.880
our mouths the truth to conquer the lies that we've been believing. But these aren't just

469
00:26:05.880 --> 00:26:10.180
things. Back in the day, I will tell you, it still had an effect. I still believe,

470
00:26:10.620 --> 00:26:14.940
even when I didn't fully understand or receive things in my heart, I did to the best of my

471
00:26:14.940 --> 00:26:20.400
ability. But you know, I believe in declaring truth over ourselves, right? And I did it back

472
00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:26.140
then. But I'll tell you what, I absolutely believe it more now than ever before. And the

473
00:26:26.140 --> 00:26:32.080
more healed I become day by day by day, and the less I live into those counterfeit identities,

474
00:26:32.080 --> 00:26:38.680
the more I partner with the truth of who God says I am. Even if or when the enemy comes and

475
00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:45.380
tries to present me with lies, doubt, unbelief, any of the things that are negative that he tries

476
00:26:45.380 --> 00:26:51.680
to present to us. And so I want to encourage you tonight to ask the Lord to reveal to you,

477
00:26:51.820 --> 00:26:56.700
is there anything that you're partnering with that is not how God created you?

478
00:26:59.100 --> 00:27:07.680
Remember, anxiety is fueled by fear and what if thoughts. Fear is false evidence appearing real.

479
00:27:07.800 --> 00:27:12.620
And both of those things build upon lies that we believe because of trauma we've been through.

480
00:27:12.620 --> 00:27:19.560
In the HeartWork book, it talks a lot about not everyone sees the dysfunction in their own lives

481
00:27:19.560 --> 00:27:26.020
as a problem. What this means is that sometimes some of us normalize what we've been through,

482
00:27:26.120 --> 00:27:30.900
as well as minimize it. I don't know about you all, but have you ever said something like,

483
00:27:33.480 --> 00:27:38.940
well, there's so many other people that have it worse than me. Anyone ever said that?

484
00:27:40.100 --> 00:27:44.840
And I'm not saying it's a bad thing to be aware that there are people that are struggling

485
00:27:45.460 --> 00:27:51.660
and around the world in really tough ways. But when you do that, when we do that,

486
00:27:51.900 --> 00:27:58.140
we are literally minimizing our own pain and saying it doesn't matter. And it does.

487
00:27:59.700 --> 00:28:04.940
What you feel matters. Now, we don't want to let our emotions be in the driver's seat,

488
00:28:04.940 --> 00:28:10.780
but during this HeartWork time, we encourage you to feel the feels so that God can heal the feels.

489
00:28:11.320 --> 00:28:17.220
We have to acknowledge our pain because if not, it's going to come back and haunt us later on.

490
00:28:17.220 --> 00:28:24.820
We talked this afternoon about IUDs. Literally underneath the ground, they plant bombs and they

491
00:28:24.820 --> 00:28:30.460
put trigger wires where people can't see them. And that is the same thing that will happen if we

492
00:28:30.580 --> 00:28:36.460
deal with the pain of our past. If we don't deal with these fears and unresolved trauma that's

493
00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:42.360
creating anxiety, like these limiting belief systems and these mindsets that we live into

494
00:28:42.360 --> 00:28:47.320
that do not sound like what the Father is saying over us tonight.

495
00:28:50.680 --> 00:28:56.340
I'm going to read something from the HeartWork book. I haven't really pointed out this paragraph

496
00:28:56.340 --> 00:29:01.600
before, but this is what God highlighted to me this morning. It's called, There's No Hope. It's

497
00:29:01.600 --> 00:29:06.020
just a little paragraph. It says this. Besides the obvious problem areas in our lives, another

498
00:29:06.020 --> 00:29:11.880
way that we can detect the places where lies are believed is a lack of hope. It may be in your

499
00:29:11.840 --> 00:29:15.880
relationships, finances, health, or something else. If you can't dream about it anymore,

500
00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:22.260
if you can't picture a better or brighter day, if you don't believe anything will ever change,

501
00:29:22.260 --> 00:29:31.660
you have accepted a lie. Where are you still struggling to believe that your life can be

502
00:29:31.660 --> 00:29:37.100
different than what you've experienced in the past? If you have any of those lies that you're

503
00:29:37.100 --> 00:29:45.140
hearing and partnering with, then you have believed a lie somewhere. All right. Okay. So

504
00:29:45.140 --> 00:29:49.360
remember earlier, I encouraged you when you have fear to pause and ask the Lord,

505
00:29:49.360 --> 00:29:55.640
Lord, what is the false evidence appearing real to me right now? That's question number one.

506
00:29:55.720 --> 00:29:59.340
I also want you to ask God to help you know what are the facts.

507
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.740
So what is actually true? And number three, I'm sorry, what

508
00:30:05.740 --> 00:30:08.740
are the facts is number two. And then what is what is true is

509
00:30:08.740 --> 00:30:12.560
number three. So you're asking God to show you and discern,

510
00:30:13.460 --> 00:30:16.640
okay, this is my what I'm feeling. This is what I'm

511
00:30:16.820 --> 00:30:22.000
experiencing. But what are the facts? What is true? Again, we

512
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:24.760
got to feel the fields so that God can heal them. But we don't

513
00:30:24.760 --> 00:30:30.220
want our feelings to be in the driver's seat. Okay, especially

514
00:30:30.220 --> 00:30:33.460
if your feelings are based in your trauma and the lies you

515
00:30:33.460 --> 00:30:36.320
believe as a result them this those feelings can get you into

516
00:30:36.320 --> 00:30:40.560
trouble me too. Okay. All right, we're gonna keep going. We can

517
00:30:40.560 --> 00:30:43.320
overcome the fears, the more we heal and become more rooted in

518
00:30:43.320 --> 00:30:46.020
God's love and faithfulness to us. Remember last week, we

519
00:30:46.020 --> 00:30:49.320
talked about God's goodness, his kindness, I want you guys to

520
00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:52.040
keep leaning into that if you're brand new here this week, y'all

521
00:30:52.040 --> 00:30:56.120
can check that replay out in the replay tab in the app. And

522
00:30:56.120 --> 00:30:58.560
it's a really, really good session. And I think that would

523
00:30:58.560 --> 00:31:02.340
be really helpful for you all to soak in that truth as well. Are

524
00:31:02.340 --> 00:31:05.440
you someone who is always waiting for the other shoe to

525
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:09.300
drop? Maybe you struggle to believe that the good will

526
00:31:09.520 --> 00:31:16.000
actually last. If that's you, there's probably lies connected

527
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:19.420
underneath the surface of those things. Do you tend to think of

528
00:31:19.420 --> 00:31:23.140
the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario? Maybe

529
00:31:23.140 --> 00:31:25.660
you hear a siren and think something happened immediately

530
00:31:25.660 --> 00:31:29.800
to someone that you love. Maybe someone doesn't respond to your

531
00:31:29.800 --> 00:31:32.600
text message in the timeframe you think they should. And you

532
00:31:32.600 --> 00:31:36.260
then start to spiral in your mind to things like, maybe

533
00:31:36.260 --> 00:31:39.580
they're mad at me. Maybe they don't care about me anymore. He

534
00:31:39.580 --> 00:31:42.380
must be talking to someone else. I'm not pretty enough or good

535
00:31:42.380 --> 00:31:46.560
enough or fill in the blank, whatever the panic thoughts are

536
00:31:46.560 --> 00:31:51.780
that you might experience. I want you to ask yourself, what

537
00:31:51.780 --> 00:31:56.220
are your thoughts actually rooted in? Are they rooted in

538
00:31:56.220 --> 00:32:01.780
fear, doubt, unbelief, pain? Are they are they rooted in love,

539
00:32:02.540 --> 00:32:06.780
peace, joy, faithfulness, kindness, all of the good things

540
00:32:06.780 --> 00:32:13.240
that flow from the Father to you. There is hope for us. And

541
00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:16.540
there's something I want to read to you all. I'm super excited. I

542
00:32:16.540 --> 00:32:21.260
read this. And it just really leapt off the page for me. And

543
00:32:21.260 --> 00:32:24.400
so I wanted to pass it on to you all tonight. This is the quote

544
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:30.100
that I read. I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me

545
00:32:30.360 --> 00:32:36.560
right now. I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me

546
00:32:36.560 --> 00:32:38.740
right now. I want to encourage you all to say that over

547
00:32:38.740 --> 00:32:41.920
yourself. You don't have to unmute. But I want you to repeat

548
00:32:42.760 --> 00:32:47.600
I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me right

549
00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:52.180
now. I'm going to keep reading lost, wasted or stolen time can

550
00:32:52.180 --> 00:32:55.080
create a weight of regret that no believer should live

551
00:32:55.080 --> 00:32:58.500
underneath. You are not too late, too early, too young or

552
00:32:58.500 --> 00:33:08.220
too old. You have not missed out on God's best for you. You're in

553
00:33:08.220 --> 00:33:13.360
the right season for what God wants to give you right now. And

554
00:33:13.360 --> 00:33:17.040
no matter what age you are, I want to encourage you. I don't

555
00:33:17.040 --> 00:33:20.480
know about you all. But the enemy is busy, busy, busy trying

556
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:22.920
to tell me how I'm too old to have a baby and you're not going

557
00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:25.160
to be able to keep up and your body's not going to be able to

558
00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:28.440
handle it. I'm being transparent. This is real stuff.

559
00:33:28.780 --> 00:33:33.080
I'm going to be 47 this month. But I don't have to believe that

560
00:33:33.080 --> 00:33:36.380
stuff. I don't have to partner with that. Man, when I read that

561
00:33:36.380 --> 00:33:40.180
it literally I was like, Oh my gosh, yes, I'm partnering with

562
00:33:40.180 --> 00:33:44.240
that truth. I'm the perfect age for what God has for me in this

563
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:48.360
season right now. Years ago, yes, of course. Of course, I

564
00:33:48.360 --> 00:33:50.820
wanted to have a baby at the same time as my friends, you

565
00:33:50.660 --> 00:33:55.840
all. But you know what, I can't look back. All I can do is go

566
00:33:58.420 --> 00:34:01.440
forward. So I just want to celebrate and live in the

567
00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:03.540
fullness of what God wants to give me and I'm going to partner

568
00:34:03.540 --> 00:34:06.760
with. If God wants to give it to me in this season, praise the

569
00:34:06.760 --> 00:34:10.480
Lord. Guess what? I'm a lot more healed now. I think I'm probably

570
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:13.340
going to be a better mom now. Why can't I partner with those

571
00:34:13.340 --> 00:34:17.760
thoughts? Do you see where I'm going with this? I get it. It's

572
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:22.900
hard. Some of you are believing the lie that you have been kept

573
00:34:22.900 --> 00:34:29.840
single your whole life. That's not true. Some of you

574
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:34.620
unfortunately, followed counterfeit identities, and

575
00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:39.000
unfortunately, subconsciously sabotaged relationships or

576
00:34:39.179 --> 00:34:43.659
isolated yourself away from them or, or whatever. It wasn't that

577
00:34:43.659 --> 00:34:46.860
God just put you in timeout. No, yes, some of the purity culture,

578
00:34:47.040 --> 00:34:50.580
some of you, you believed God was leading you there. Totally

579
00:34:50.580 --> 00:34:56.540
understand that. And I'm sorry about that. But God can redeem

580
00:34:56.540 --> 00:34:57.620
the time for you.

581
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.220
Let's not partner with fear.

582
00:35:03.380 --> 00:35:05.040
Let's not partner with fear anymore.

583
00:35:05.420 --> 00:35:06.740
Let's start partnering with hope

584
00:35:07.120 --> 00:35:09.800
and that God's plan is unfolding for you.

585
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:11.000
And he has new things

586
00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:13.440
that you haven't even conceived of them yet.

587
00:35:13.600 --> 00:35:17.640
He wants to bless you beyond your biggest imagination.

588
00:35:17.880 --> 00:35:19.860
The biggest thing you could ever dream of,

589
00:35:20.300 --> 00:35:21.660
he wants to give it to you.

590
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:26.240
And some of you, that's not where you're at yet.

591
00:35:26.260 --> 00:35:26.960
And that's okay.

592
00:35:27.040 --> 00:35:29.040
Because I believe the more that you heal,

593
00:35:29.040 --> 00:35:31.160
the more that you will start to get there.

594
00:35:31.680 --> 00:35:34.480
The belief that God has something good for you,

595
00:35:34.660 --> 00:35:35.880
not just everybody else.

596
00:35:36.660 --> 00:35:39.580
I just literally saw a long checkout line.

597
00:35:39.680 --> 00:35:41.300
I don't know if y'all have ever had to wait

598
00:35:41.300 --> 00:35:44.360
in a really long, gosh, what was it called?

599
00:35:44.580 --> 00:35:44.980
Lay away.

600
00:35:45.400 --> 00:35:47.040
I don't even know if they do that anymore.

601
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:49.740
At Christmas time, lay away.

602
00:35:50.160 --> 00:35:52.940
I can remember being in this really long line

603
00:35:52.940 --> 00:35:54.160
and it just felt like forever.

604
00:35:54.280 --> 00:35:56.660
And I heard someone, literally the Lord say,

605
00:35:56.660 --> 00:36:00.900
someone in the spirit was saying or crying out,

606
00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:01.940
I don't know if in your heart,

607
00:36:02.020 --> 00:36:04.500
you just feel like you're always in a waiting line,

608
00:36:05.240 --> 00:36:07.880
but God is saying those days are over.

609
00:36:08.820 --> 00:36:09.940
It's about healing.

610
00:36:10.080 --> 00:36:10.960
It's about redemption.

611
00:36:11.120 --> 00:36:12.780
It's about revitalization.

612
00:36:13.060 --> 00:36:15.420
Have you ever thought about like a house

613
00:36:15.420 --> 00:36:18.200
getting revitalized and totally redone from the inside out?

614
00:36:18.200 --> 00:36:20.240
That's what you're in right now.

615
00:36:20.240 --> 00:36:22.400
Your whole house, the house of your heart

616
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:26.400
can be totally revitalized and revamped and made new.

617
00:36:26.820 --> 00:36:28.900
And you can walk away from this

618
00:36:28.900 --> 00:36:30.840
a completely different person.

619
00:36:31.660 --> 00:36:34.060
Yeah, you're gonna have a lot of the same understandings

620
00:36:34.140 --> 00:36:36.940
and life is gonna happen,

621
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:40.220
but man, you can start to experience it differently

622
00:36:40.220 --> 00:36:41.440
in the days to come.

623
00:36:45.220 --> 00:36:48.160
And this isn't just like a rah-rah session for you all.

624
00:36:48.180 --> 00:36:50.420
This is legit stuff I've experienced.

625
00:36:50.420 --> 00:36:52.560
Everything from the hard things

626
00:36:52.560 --> 00:36:55.780
to the where we stand in truth.

627
00:36:55.860 --> 00:36:57.700
It's not even just, oh, I'm on a mountaintop.

628
00:36:57.800 --> 00:37:00.820
It's this is the truth of God's word for you.

629
00:37:04.360 --> 00:37:05.820
All right, I'm gonna keep going.

630
00:37:06.380 --> 00:37:08.720
1 John 4, 18 in the amplified version says this,

631
00:37:08.860 --> 00:37:10.060
there is no fear in love.

632
00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:12.720
Dread does not exist in love,

633
00:37:13.740 --> 00:37:18.520
but perfect, complete, full grown love drives out fear

634
00:37:18.520 --> 00:37:22.560
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.

635
00:37:23.700 --> 00:37:26.400
So the one who is afraid of God's judgment

636
00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:28.100
is not perfected in love,

637
00:37:28.780 --> 00:37:32.220
which means has not grown into a sufficient understanding

638
00:37:32.220 --> 00:37:34.120
of God's love.

639
00:37:37.040 --> 00:37:41.500
Perfect, complete, full grown love drives out fear

640
00:37:42.200 --> 00:37:46.640
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.

641
00:37:47.380 --> 00:37:50.100
I want you all to let that sink in.

642
00:37:51.040 --> 00:37:55.680
Where you have fear, there's something in you

643
00:37:55.680 --> 00:37:58.800
where you're actually believing and partnering with the lie

644
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:01.160
that God is a punisher,

645
00:38:03.580 --> 00:38:05.460
which we talked about last week.

646
00:38:05.460 --> 00:38:06.420
He's not a punisher.

647
00:38:07.420 --> 00:38:09.600
He's a giver of all good gifts.

648
00:38:10.500 --> 00:38:13.040
The goodness of God is literally,

649
00:38:13.080 --> 00:38:15.180
it says in the Bible, for those who seek him,

650
00:38:15.180 --> 00:38:18.260
it can chase us down and we can experience it

651
00:38:18.260 --> 00:38:19.160
in the land of the living.

652
00:38:19.280 --> 00:38:21.200
We don't have to wait till heaven

653
00:38:21.200 --> 00:38:22.680
to experience his goodness.

654
00:38:24.320 --> 00:38:25.520
He's a now God.

655
00:38:26.240 --> 00:38:28.700
He's an ever present help in times of trouble

656
00:38:28.700 --> 00:38:29.960
as well as on the mountaintop.

657
00:38:30.100 --> 00:38:30.900
He's with us.

658
00:38:31.640 --> 00:38:34.300
He never leaves us nor forsakes us.

659
00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:38.320
John 3, 16 says, for God so loved the world

660
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:39.660
that he gave his only begotten son

661
00:38:39.660 --> 00:38:42.460
that whoever believes in him should not perish

662
00:38:42.460 --> 00:38:45.540
but have everlasting life.

663
00:38:48.280 --> 00:38:50.780
I'm gonna read song lyrics again to you.

664
00:38:51.060 --> 00:38:52.540
Sometimes, y'all, I don't do this every session,

665
00:38:52.600 --> 00:38:54.120
but there's two sessions out of all of them

666
00:38:54.120 --> 00:38:56.780
that I do this in, and it's called Fear is a Liar.

667
00:38:57.040 --> 00:38:58.020
It's by Zach Williams.

668
00:38:58.060 --> 00:38:59.060
You might've heard of it,

669
00:38:59.220 --> 00:39:02.820
but I feel like it's so powerful to read these over you all

670
00:39:02.820 --> 00:39:05.420
so you can just really, sometimes we sing these songs,

671
00:39:05.860 --> 00:39:09.420
but we don't really take in what we're singing and saying.

672
00:39:10.040 --> 00:39:11.160
So I want y'all to hear it.

673
00:39:11.160 --> 00:39:12.080
This is what it says.

674
00:39:13.260 --> 00:39:17.680
When he, being the liar, fear, the devil,

675
00:39:18.460 --> 00:39:20.140
when he told you you're not good enough,

676
00:39:20.200 --> 00:39:21.600
when he told you you're not right,

677
00:39:21.780 --> 00:39:23.360
when he told you you're not strong enough

678
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:24.500
to put up a good fight,

679
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:26.120
when he told you you're not worthy,

680
00:39:26.360 --> 00:39:27.860
when he told you you're not loved,

681
00:39:28.340 --> 00:39:30.000
when he told you you're not beautiful,

682
00:39:30.100 --> 00:39:32.000
you'll never be enough.

683
00:39:32.660 --> 00:39:33.920
Fear, he is a liar.

684
00:39:34.220 --> 00:39:36.980
He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.

685
00:39:37.660 --> 00:39:38.620
Fear, he is a liar.

686
00:39:38.620 --> 00:39:41.740
He will rob your rest, steal your happiness,

687
00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:43.640
cast your fear in the fire,

688
00:39:43.700 --> 00:39:46.400
because fear, he is a liar.

689
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:48.300
When he told you you were troubled,

690
00:39:48.440 --> 00:39:49.640
you'll forever be alone.

691
00:39:49.820 --> 00:39:51.240
When he told you you should run away,

692
00:39:51.340 --> 00:39:53.460
you'll never find a home.

693
00:39:53.820 --> 00:39:55.540
When he told you that you were dirty

694
00:39:55.540 --> 00:39:57.020
and you should be ashamed,

695
00:39:57.160 --> 00:39:59.980
when he told you you could be the one that grays.

696
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.680
face could never change.

697
00:40:02.700 --> 00:40:04.020
Oh, fear, he is a liar.

698
00:40:04.720 --> 00:40:06.900
He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.

699
00:40:07.260 --> 00:40:08.200
Fear, he is a liar.

700
00:40:08.640 --> 00:40:11.100
He will rob your rest, steal your happiness,

701
00:40:11.720 --> 00:40:13.820
cast your fear in the fire,

702
00:40:14.220 --> 00:40:17.380
because fear, he is a liar.

703
00:40:19.140 --> 00:40:20.760
Hebrews 12, one says this.

704
00:40:21.260 --> 00:40:22.920
Therefore, since we are surrounded

705
00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:24.880
by such a great cloud of witnesses,

706
00:40:25.180 --> 00:40:27.440
let us throw off everything that hinders

707
00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:29.460
and the sin that so easily entangles

708
00:40:29.460 --> 00:40:32.640
and let us run the race with perseverance,

709
00:40:33.100 --> 00:40:34.680
that one that is marked out for us.

710
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:36.800
I kind of got that mixed up there,

711
00:40:36.820 --> 00:40:38.060
but y'all get what I'm saying.

712
00:40:39.100 --> 00:40:41.640
What is the race that's set before you, ladies?

713
00:40:42.560 --> 00:40:44.900
The Lord wants to help you run it

714
00:40:45.020 --> 00:40:48.980
and not just run it, but finish it successfully,

715
00:40:49.700 --> 00:40:52.080
exuberantly, full of life, not worn out,

716
00:40:52.260 --> 00:40:54.580
barely making it across the finish line.

717
00:40:55.520 --> 00:40:58.200
No, like he literally wants to transform

718
00:40:58.200 --> 00:41:00.040
everything in your life.

719
00:41:01.400 --> 00:41:03.780
I'm gonna get you ready for the breakout session.

720
00:41:05.020 --> 00:41:06.940
Tonight's question is this.

721
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:09.480
What fear are you going to ask God

722
00:41:09.480 --> 00:41:10.540
to help you with tonight?

723
00:41:11.520 --> 00:41:13.980
What fear are you gonna ask God to help you with tonight?

724
00:41:14.140 --> 00:41:15.300
Like literally you're saying,

725
00:41:15.520 --> 00:41:18.360
God, which fear do you wanna help me

726
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:20.060
get breakthrough in tonight?

727
00:41:20.500 --> 00:41:22.280
Okay, so that's the question.

728
00:41:22.500 --> 00:41:24.980
I'm gonna encourage you to share that

729
00:41:24.980 --> 00:41:27.400
when you go in to the breakout sessions.

730
00:41:27.400 --> 00:41:28.540
For those of you that are new,

731
00:41:28.700 --> 00:41:29.840
if you've never done this before,

732
00:41:30.060 --> 00:41:31.580
I'm gonna set these up on the backend

733
00:41:31.980 --> 00:41:33.460
and I will tell you when,

734
00:41:33.820 --> 00:41:35.500
but there'll be a pop-up on the screen

735
00:41:35.500 --> 00:41:37.800
for you to join a breakout session room.

736
00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:42.040
And I'm sorry, I just went in the wrong direction, I think.

737
00:41:46.080 --> 00:41:47.000
There we go.

738
00:41:48.880 --> 00:41:49.680
Okay, all right.

739
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:53.240
So I'm gonna give you all seven minutes tonight for this.

740
00:41:53.520 --> 00:41:55.540
All right, I have like two to three of you in a room.

741
00:41:55.540 --> 00:41:57.560
If you get in a room and nobody talks,

742
00:41:58.040 --> 00:41:59.620
sometimes people have mic issues, ladies,

743
00:41:59.660 --> 00:42:01.180
so don't take it personally, okay?

744
00:42:01.520 --> 00:42:04.140
Let's not be easily offended, all right?

745
00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:06.820
And if somebody accidentally leaves early,

746
00:42:07.020 --> 00:42:08.780
sometimes people bump the leave button

747
00:42:08.780 --> 00:42:09.860
instead of the stay button.

748
00:42:10.080 --> 00:42:12.480
And again, just believe the best in people, okay?

749
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:14.560
All right, so you're talking about

750
00:42:14.560 --> 00:42:17.100
what fear are you gonna ask God to help you with tonight?

751
00:42:17.400 --> 00:42:19.920
Go ahead, those should be up on your screen for you.

752
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:22.220
Go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can.

753
00:42:23.620 --> 00:42:26.360
Praying for you all.

754
00:42:28.920 --> 00:42:30.480
All right, awesome.

755
00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:35.440
All right, Stephanie, thank you for letting me know that.

756
00:42:42.500 --> 00:42:45.200
All right, Brenda and Sandra,

757
00:42:45.460 --> 00:42:48.000
are you all able to go into breakout room?

758
00:42:52.540 --> 00:42:54.340
If not, let me know

759
00:42:54.340 --> 00:42:56.700
because I need to bump someone else around.

760
00:42:59.140 --> 00:43:00.540
Okay, Brenda's in, awesome.

761
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.500
Let me go ahead and put her up there.

762
00:43:04.740 --> 00:43:07.040
All right, I'm gonna pray in just a second, ladies.

763
00:43:13.120 --> 00:43:14.980
All right, Father, thank you so much

764
00:43:14.980 --> 00:43:16.820
for everything you're doing tonight.

765
00:43:17.200 --> 00:43:19.160
Damaris, that's totally fine, thank you so much.

766
00:43:20.480 --> 00:43:23.520
Father, thank you for bringing the rain.

767
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:24.920
I just sensed that.

768
00:43:25.080 --> 00:43:27.120
I don't know what the weather's like there for you all,

769
00:43:27.140 --> 00:43:30.060
but I keep hearing this diffuser next to me

770
00:43:30.060 --> 00:43:31.780
and I thought it was raining outside again

771
00:43:31.780 --> 00:43:33.280
and it's got rain on my mind,

772
00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:37.100
but the Bible talks about the early in the latter rain.

773
00:43:37.660 --> 00:43:39.560
And so Lord, we just invite your rain,

774
00:43:40.600 --> 00:43:43.540
your cleansing water just flowing from heaven

775
00:43:43.780 --> 00:43:46.300
over our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls.

776
00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:47.800
God, I thank you that you would help us

777
00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:52.160
to hear from heaven what your spirit is saying over us.

778
00:43:52.620 --> 00:43:57.540
God, I thank you for washing us

779
00:43:57.540 --> 00:43:59.340
and making us completely clean.

780
00:44:00.340 --> 00:44:02.040
God, that you're taking all of the things,

781
00:44:02.220 --> 00:44:05.640
the sin that's been crimson red and making it white as snow.

782
00:44:05.940 --> 00:44:07.400
God, I thank you that you would help us

783
00:44:07.800 --> 00:44:10.920
to come out of alignment and agreement with fear,

784
00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:14.640
anxiety, worry, dread, panic,

785
00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:16.660
anything that we are plagued by.

786
00:44:17.160 --> 00:44:18.500
God, we thank you.

787
00:44:18.860 --> 00:44:22.640
Yes, Lord, thank you for creating just a force field

788
00:44:22.640 --> 00:44:24.700
around our minds in this season, God,

789
00:44:24.760 --> 00:44:26.820
that you would empower us, Lord God,

790
00:44:26.900 --> 00:44:29.500
with the ability to stand on your truth,

791
00:44:29.620 --> 00:44:31.320
that your truth would start to percolate

792
00:44:31.320 --> 00:44:34.020
up to the surface in us more and more and more

793
00:44:34.500 --> 00:44:36.600
as we meditate on your word day and night.

794
00:44:36.700 --> 00:44:39.380
Lord, I thank you that you would help us

795
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:41.700
to sleep peacefully.

796
00:44:42.580 --> 00:44:46.500
I speak peace in Jesus' name over every one of those

797
00:44:46.500 --> 00:44:48.640
that are a part of this heartwork journey,

798
00:44:48.940 --> 00:44:51.720
this community, God, where the enemy is coming in

799
00:44:51.720 --> 00:44:54.780
and trying to rob and steal people of sleep and rest.

800
00:44:54.980 --> 00:44:56.920
God, I thank you for rest.

801
00:44:57.160 --> 00:44:59.160
I thank you for peace, God,

802
00:44:59.240 --> 00:44:59.980
that your perfect.

803
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.920
Peace that passes all understanding is what enables us to guard our hearts and our minds through christ jesus. And so I thank you for

804
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:09.840
um helping us to

805
00:45:10.060 --> 00:45:16.400
Yeah, lord, just stand when we've done everything that we know to do your word says just to stand and so we we

806
00:45:16.460 --> 00:45:18.200
Rest in that truth tonight

807
00:45:18.420 --> 00:45:23.240
God that you fight for us even when we we don't even know how to fight god

808
00:45:23.240 --> 00:45:27.140
I thank you that you would dispatch angels to war on their behalf tonight

809
00:45:27.700 --> 00:45:34.740
God where there even has been yes lord fears passed down through generations. I gotta make sure I comment on that when they come back

810
00:45:35.940 --> 00:45:36.420
um

811
00:45:36.420 --> 00:45:38.520
Sorry ladies. I gotta make a note

812
00:45:39.820 --> 00:45:44.820
When there's been generational fears passed down and in mindsets that partner with fear

813
00:45:44.820 --> 00:45:48.020
God, I thank you that you would help us to recognize those tonight

814
00:45:48.240 --> 00:45:51.560
And that we would just start to say no i'm not going to believe that anymore

815
00:45:51.560 --> 00:45:54.960
I'm not going to think that anymore. I'm not going to speak that out over myself anymore

816
00:45:55.500 --> 00:45:58.500
Satan you're a liar and I don't partner with you anymore

817
00:45:59.180 --> 00:46:01.640
Thank you father that you're you're

818
00:46:01.680 --> 00:46:06.120
Transforming all of us by the renewing of our minds that all things are passing away and behold

819
00:46:06.240 --> 00:46:08.920
Everything is becoming new and you

820
00:46:09.260 --> 00:46:12.580
God, I thank you that you would help us to forget the former things

821
00:46:13.120 --> 00:46:16.360
And press on toward the high calling of god for our lives

822
00:46:16.620 --> 00:46:21.760
That you have a good and perfect and pleasing plan for us not a plan to harm us

823
00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:25.860
Or to bring destruction anyway, but to give us a hope in a future

824
00:46:27.700 --> 00:46:29.420
Yes, yes, yes

825
00:46:29.420 --> 00:46:33.760
Isaiah 40 verse 31 says but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength

826
00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:40.620
They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint

827
00:46:41.120 --> 00:46:44.100
God, I thank you that you enable us to run

828
00:46:44.460 --> 00:46:49.660
God that you enable us to soar god where we have been held back and stuck in the past god

829
00:46:49.660 --> 00:46:54.220
I thank you that you're dislodging those things god that you're bringing those

830
00:46:54.220 --> 00:46:59.080
Things out of the darkness into the light for revelation for transformation for breakthrough

831
00:46:59.240 --> 00:47:04.400
God, we thank you for one breakthrough after another breakthrough after another breakthrough for acceleration

832
00:47:04.900 --> 00:47:08.960
and uh, just lord, yes divine healing and

833
00:47:09.120 --> 00:47:12.900
Impartation into us god that you would come and plant truth in us

834
00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:19.080
And god that it would be planted in a place where we can receive it god, and we thank you that um

835
00:47:19.080 --> 00:47:25.520
Yes, lord that john 10 10 in the passion translation says a thief has only one thing in mind

836
00:47:25.520 --> 00:47:31.460
He wants to steal slaughter and destroy but I have come to give you everything in abundance more than you

837
00:47:31.980 --> 00:47:36.520
More than you expect life in its fullness until you overflow

838
00:47:37.140 --> 00:47:42.520
God, I thank you that you enable us to over flow with your goodness god

839
00:47:42.520 --> 00:47:44.720
I thank you that you're helping us to know

840
00:47:44.720 --> 00:47:49.920
What it is to live in abundance to hear what your spirit is saying to us

841
00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:57.540
To receive the fullness of your plans and your purposes for us. We thank you god that you would enable us to also

842
00:47:58.420 --> 00:48:02.480
Yes, lord come out of alignment with any unbeliefs any doubt

843
00:48:02.580 --> 00:48:08.660
About who you are god and your heart towards us god that you are good that you are

844
00:48:08.660 --> 00:48:11.020
Faithful that you are not a man that you should lie

845
00:48:11.600 --> 00:48:12.160
and

846
00:48:12.160 --> 00:48:15.220
Yes, lord, we thank you that

847
00:48:15.220 --> 00:48:22.720
You bring us new truth in in every new day. It's packed full of new mercies new truth new revelations new understanding

848
00:48:22.720 --> 00:48:27.700
We thank you god that um tonight is is another beginning stage

849
00:48:27.700 --> 00:48:32.100
But tomorrow we wake up for another day to receive the fullness of your glory

850
00:48:32.220 --> 00:48:38.020
We thank you that psalm 86 17 says send me a miraculous sign to show me how much you love me

851
00:48:38.020 --> 00:48:40.340
Those who hate me will see it and be ashamed

852
00:48:40.500 --> 00:48:45.280
Don't they know that you lord are my comforter the one who comes to help me

853
00:48:45.640 --> 00:48:50.780
God, I thank you that you come to help us. You give us aid. You are our protector. You're our defender

854
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:54.660
You're our provider. You're our ever-present help in time of need god

855
00:48:54.660 --> 00:49:00.040
Let you are continuing to take us by the hand and jesus. I thank you that you call us your friend

856
00:49:00.100 --> 00:49:02.580
That when we seek you we will find you

857
00:49:03.360 --> 00:49:06.500
When we search for you with all of our hearts god, we thank you

858
00:49:07.520 --> 00:49:10.420
Yes, lord, his hand is not slack ladies

859
00:49:10.980 --> 00:49:17.460
I heard the holy spirit say that that means that he's not like coming to bless us and then holding back. Okay?

860
00:49:18.520 --> 00:49:24.240
It means he's coming with abundance and blessing and life and and glory and hope

861
00:49:25.300 --> 00:49:26.360
Yes, lord

862
00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:33.820
if any of you have ever experienced where even last week I forget who shared if it was in the afternoon session or night time where

863
00:49:33.820 --> 00:49:35.160
literally like

864
00:49:35.300 --> 00:49:37.600
They had given the parent money

865
00:49:37.960 --> 00:49:43.040
To get something that they had saved for and the parent wouldn't even though the kid gave him money

866
00:49:43.040 --> 00:49:44.700
The parent wouldn't go get the thing

867
00:49:45.100 --> 00:49:48.760
And that is just not the representation of who the father is

868
00:49:48.760 --> 00:49:51.940
It's not it's not who he is and he's not like that

869
00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:57.520
and so I want to continue to encourage you all to come out of agreement with any lies that you might have received because

870
00:49:57.580 --> 00:49:59.980
of being mistreated by parents guardians

871
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.800
authority figures. Psalm 1 3 in the Passion Translation says this he will be

872
00:50:05.800 --> 00:50:10.960
standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God's design deeply rooted by

873
00:50:10.960 --> 00:50:15.740
the brooks of bliss bearing fruit in every season of his life he is never dry

874
00:50:15.740 --> 00:50:22.360
never fainting ever blessed and ever prosperous aren't you ever prosperous in

875
00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:26.180
Jesus name that's who we are that's who we are ladies I'm gonna read that again

876
00:50:26.180 --> 00:50:31.840
it's so good Psalm 1 3 in Passion Translation and this is over all of y'all

877
00:50:31.840 --> 00:50:35.540
so I want you kind of as I read this as people are coming back I want you just

878
00:50:35.540 --> 00:50:40.940
to partner with this truth over yourself she will be I'm kind of rephrasing it

879
00:50:40.940 --> 00:50:45.740
she will be so I got a mute a couple y'all I'm standing firm like a

880
00:50:45.740 --> 00:50:49.600
flourishing tree planted by God's design deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss

881
00:50:49.600 --> 00:50:54.900
bearing fruit in every season of her life she is never dry never fainting

882
00:50:54.900 --> 00:51:02.860
ever blessed ever prosperous can I get an amen in the chat it's so good you

883
00:51:02.860 --> 00:51:06.820
all to partner with truth every day we have an opportunity to partner with

884
00:51:06.820 --> 00:51:11.060
truth or to partner with lies okay I'm gonna give you the activation go ahead

885
00:51:11.060 --> 00:51:14.180
and get ready for anybody that's willing to share for those of you that are new

886
00:51:14.180 --> 00:51:18.400
here the first time what we do now is I encourage those of you that are willing

887
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:21.120
to share with the whole group what you shared in your breakout and then we'll

888
00:51:21.120 --> 00:51:25.640
do group coaching around some of those I'll get through as many people as I can

889
00:51:25.640 --> 00:51:30.300
y'all I've been a bad girl lately I've been going way too long so tonight I

890
00:51:30.300 --> 00:51:36.280
have to be done by 930 I have to so if I have too many of you I'm sorry I will

891
00:51:36.280 --> 00:51:39.640
have to still shut us down at 930 I do my best to get through people as quick

892
00:51:39.640 --> 00:51:43.720
as possible but I'm excited to see what God's gonna do tonight here's the

893
00:51:43.720 --> 00:51:47.840
activation for this week it's called letting go it's called letting go so I

894
00:51:47.940 --> 00:51:52.160
want y'all to be praying about what God wants you to let go of what fears what

895
00:51:52.340 --> 00:51:58.140
trauma whatever it is God what do you want me to let go of this week and there

896
00:51:58.140 --> 00:52:02.060
are two ways to activate this right both of them you're gonna write a letter

897
00:52:02.060 --> 00:52:07.500
write a note about what you're letting go of number one in a safe place of

898
00:52:07.500 --> 00:52:12.860
course you're gonna light that thing on fire and watch it burn baby and as it

899
00:52:12.860 --> 00:52:17.300
burns you're gonna thank God for helping you let that thing go in Jesus name and

900
00:52:17.360 --> 00:52:21.680
number two is a balloon release and I encourage you all if you do a balloon

901
00:52:21.680 --> 00:52:26.500
release don't don't tape your your paper that you wrote this on to it okay just

902
00:52:26.500 --> 00:52:30.440
put something with the balloon that kind of represents that thing that you're

903
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:35.300
letting go of okay I've heard time and time again people that actually do this

904
00:52:35.300 --> 00:52:38.520
stuff how much breakthrough it gets them I know y'all might think it really

905
00:52:38.520 --> 00:52:43.680
doesn't matter but if you have even heard me say this before and you've

906
00:52:43.900 --> 00:52:49.480
done it I want to encourage you to step into this some of y'all need to let go

907
00:52:49.480 --> 00:52:54.460
of you know somebody that hurts you you need to let go some of you of even

908
00:52:54.700 --> 00:52:59.260
former spouses that you you know they passed away and you're just clinging to

909
00:52:59.300 --> 00:53:03.220
them in such a way that it makes it tough for you to actually move forward

910
00:53:03.220 --> 00:53:08.060
and I know that's such a hard thing to for some of you to hear but that that is

911
00:53:08.060 --> 00:53:12.780
truly some of what y'all need to let go of some of y'all need to let go of the

912
00:53:12.860 --> 00:53:19.240
fears and the doubts or whatever yeah let it burn baby burn I love to say that

913
00:53:19.240 --> 00:53:23.100
just let it burn right and let that thing go okay so let's start with

914
00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:26.640
Nadine and I would love to hear what you have to say

915
00:53:28.840 --> 00:53:33.060
I just want to make sure are we sharing what we shared in the group yeah or if

916
00:53:33.060 --> 00:53:35.720
you you can share what you shared in your breakout session or if there's

917
00:53:35.720 --> 00:53:38.820
something different you feel led to share that's totally fine but it needs

918
00:53:38.820 --> 00:53:44.200
around the fear that you're letting go of okay okay gotcha well I guess the

919
00:53:44.200 --> 00:53:48.040
fear that I'm trying to let go I'm still trying to discover and I told you a

920
00:53:48.040 --> 00:53:52.320
little bit about it on a video but I'm trying to figure out if God is asking me

921
00:53:52.320 --> 00:53:57.200
to do real estate and I think what's so complicated about the situation is I

922
00:53:57.200 --> 00:54:01.360
really don't think it's it's about whether or not to do real estate I think

923
00:54:01.360 --> 00:54:06.040
there's a deeper fear and I don't know what it is because fear is on both sides

924
00:54:06.040 --> 00:54:13.700
if I do it it's like there's fear that all hell's gonna break loose and you

925
00:54:14.020 --> 00:54:18.160
know can I do it all those things and if I don't do it there's this fear of am I

926
00:54:18.160 --> 00:54:22.640
doing what God's asking me to do by not doing it you know and so I've just been

927
00:54:22.640 --> 00:54:26.420
wrestling and I want to just let this fear go but it's like every day it's

928
00:54:26.420 --> 00:54:30.240
like literally tormenting me now it's like every day I'm thinking about this

929
00:54:30.940 --> 00:54:34.880
instead of like just focusing on like the joy of the Lord and I was telling

930
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:39.380
the ladies that like I let it go a year ago after just going through so many

931
00:54:39.740 --> 00:54:44.200
difficult situations with just trying to get into that business and then since

932
00:54:44.200 --> 00:54:49.060
the heart work it's just been on my mind not my mind non-stop and so I'm just to

933
00:54:49.060 --> 00:54:53.300
the point where I'm like God and it's like I'll listen to a sermon and I'm

934
00:54:53.300 --> 00:54:57.540
like okay this is it confirmation on some things the Lord has said it's

935
00:54:57.540 --> 00:54:59.980
Gideon I'm you know I'm gonna do the thing God's asking

936
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.600
me to do. And then I turn around and I'm like, Nope, we're not

937
00:55:03.600 --> 00:55:07.860
doing it. Like we're sitting still, you have a fear and a

938
00:55:07.860 --> 00:55:10.740
control issue where you think you need to be the person to

939
00:55:10.740 --> 00:55:14.200
bring in the finances. And then there's that faith without works

940
00:55:14.200 --> 00:55:17.800
is dead. And so I just, I'm just tired of this back and forth.

941
00:55:19.500 --> 00:55:23.200
So interestingly enough, as you were sharing very early on, I

942
00:55:23.200 --> 00:55:26.920
wrote down I heard in my spirit fear of failure. And that's

943
00:55:26.920 --> 00:55:29.780
essentially what you both of the fears that you are

944
00:55:29.780 --> 00:55:34.220
describing to me, essentially, at the core, there is a fear of

945
00:55:34.200 --> 00:55:40.920
failure. And so I'm kind of curious, have you ever stepped

946
00:55:40.920 --> 00:55:45.960
out into something new in the past and got reprimanded for it

947
00:55:45.960 --> 00:55:50.440
or felt like you let people down or anything like that? Is it? Or

948
00:55:50.440 --> 00:55:53.040
is this literally the first time that you're kind of branching

949
00:55:53.040 --> 00:55:57.040
out and doing something brand new? Or tell me a little bit

950
00:55:57.040 --> 00:55:58.460
about kind of your background?

951
00:55:58.840 --> 00:56:01.920
Yeah, this is definitely one of the first times I've ever tried

952
00:56:01.920 --> 00:56:05.660
to do something new. I think every time in childhood, like

953
00:56:05.660 --> 00:56:08.320
trying to do like an organization, or I remember,

954
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:10.920
there was one time in high school, I wanted to run for prom

955
00:56:10.920 --> 00:56:13.820
queen. And then I didn't, you know, because I was, you know,

956
00:56:13.820 --> 00:56:16.540
had the fear of what other people thought about me. So this

957
00:56:16.540 --> 00:56:19.780
is the first time there was that. And when I started, it was

958
00:56:19.780 --> 00:56:22.160
just one of those things, like it was on my list of things I

959
00:56:22.160 --> 00:56:25.200
wanted to do. And I never tackled it, because there was

960
00:56:25.200 --> 00:56:28.940
that fear. And so once I got my license, then it was like the

961
00:56:29.140 --> 00:56:32.180
fear turned. And then it was all of a sudden, like, is this what

962
00:56:32.180 --> 00:56:34.760
you're supposed to do? Is this what you're supposed to do? And

963
00:56:34.760 --> 00:56:38.880
so I am very, my personality is more like, I got my degree, I

964
00:56:38.880 --> 00:56:42.260
want to put it to use, let's stay, I want my paycheck, I want

965
00:56:42.340 --> 00:56:46.520
things in order, that sort of thing. And so because business

966
00:56:46.520 --> 00:56:49.800
wasn't anything that I thought about going through, I was like,

967
00:56:49.880 --> 00:56:52.240
well, I guess this is from you, Lord, because I don't think this

968
00:56:52.240 --> 00:56:52.520
way.

969
00:56:53.180 --> 00:56:56.480
Well, here's some of the things and I don't remember if I've

970
00:56:56.480 --> 00:56:59.740
said this recently or not, but I feel led to say it tonight,

971
00:56:59.660 --> 00:57:05.180
ladies. Here's the thing. If we take a step forward, even if we

972
00:57:05.180 --> 00:57:08.860
make a mistake, is God big enough to redirect us to get us

973
00:57:08.860 --> 00:57:14.780
back on the path? Yeah. Yeah, I think Nadine, I think you just

974
00:57:14.780 --> 00:57:17.980
got to walk this out and see where God leads you. Because I

975
00:57:17.980 --> 00:57:22.380
feel like this the kind of you really said, even though you're

976
00:57:22.380 --> 00:57:24.640
like, I'm not sure if it's connected, but the wanting to

977
00:57:24.640 --> 00:57:29.840
run for prom queen, and then not doing it is very similar. Because

978
00:57:29.840 --> 00:57:32.200
you were afraid of what people would think of you. And you're

979
00:57:32.200 --> 00:57:36.840
kind of saying some similar things here. And so at the core,

980
00:57:37.140 --> 00:57:40.620
I think also what I would really encourage you to be doing is

981
00:57:40.620 --> 00:57:43.960
praying about your identity in Christ. And who are you apart

982
00:57:44.080 --> 00:57:48.280
from any of whatever it is that you do? Who are you? Because the

983
00:57:48.280 --> 00:57:54.500
more secure you get in who you are, you know, I mean, we just

984
00:57:54.500 --> 00:57:58.040
sometimes have to just get out of the boat and try and and

985
00:57:58.040 --> 00:58:00.880
again, like I'm not, I'm not telling everyone to go do that.

986
00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:03.040
But it sounds like you've kind of been in this back and forth,

987
00:58:03.160 --> 00:58:06.940
back and forth, back and forth. And I think at this point, you

988
00:58:06.940 --> 00:58:10.280
the way for you to move forward and really know and discern what

989
00:58:10.280 --> 00:58:13.580
is God actually saying to you without all the confusion and

990
00:58:13.580 --> 00:58:16.100
chaos? You know, God isn't the author of that.

991
00:58:18.360 --> 00:58:21.840
And so the double mindedness and stuff that even Jackie talked

992
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:24.340
about, I don't know if that was this past Saturday or two

993
00:58:24.420 --> 00:58:27.260
Saturdays ago, but that comes to mind as well, how the enemy is

994
00:58:27.260 --> 00:58:30.680
really trying to get you to become double minded and

995
00:58:30.680 --> 00:58:34.180
actually be at war within yourself. Does that make sense?

996
00:58:34.580 --> 00:58:37.300
Yes, I literally just read James yesterday, because I was like,

997
00:58:37.380 --> 00:58:39.920
Lord, I need something. And then I asked him, I was like, who is

998
00:58:39.920 --> 00:58:42.560
the person in the Bible? And as soon as I heard Gideon, and then

999
00:58:42.560 --> 00:58:44.980
I looked up stories, and that was the first one that popped

1000
00:58:44.980 --> 00:58:46.020
up. So I was like, okay.

1001
00:58:47.020 --> 00:58:50.560
Yeah. And let me ask you a question, because you also said

1002
00:58:50.560 --> 00:58:54.160
you have a control issue, which I actually heard the Lord say,

1003
00:58:54.180 --> 00:59:00.820
No, you don't. I think you actually are are afraid. I think

1004
00:59:00.820 --> 00:59:05.180
that that is what's causing us. And I don't think that you

1005
00:59:05.180 --> 00:59:09.020
should speak that over yourself anymore. Okay. Okay. But the

1006
00:59:09.020 --> 00:59:13.840
other thing I was gonna say is, let's say you step out and do

1007
00:59:13.840 --> 00:59:19.400
this. And then God's, you know, we're just doing a what if here.

1008
00:59:20.100 --> 00:59:24.120
And then God's like, Oh, I'd rather you go this, this other

1009
00:59:26.600 --> 00:59:30.060
way. What do you think God is going to feel towards you in

1010
00:59:30.060 --> 00:59:30.540
that?

1011
00:59:34.580 --> 00:59:38.520
Um, I don't know. But I'm honestly, I'm really embarrassed

1012
00:59:38.520 --> 00:59:41.040
to share this story. And I really don't want to, but I'm

1013
00:59:41.040 --> 00:59:45.500
just gonna I'm trying to share my testimony to get healing. But

1014
00:59:45.500 --> 00:59:48.240
when I started serving the Lord, and you know, I believe in

1015
00:59:48.240 --> 00:59:52.420
healing and deliverance, I had a really bad deliverance session

1016
00:59:52.460 --> 00:59:57.540
and it but it was like I was fasting and I was praying like

1017
00:59:57.540 --> 00:59:59.860
hours a day for a week straight.

1018
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.740
and I was starting to hear the Lord

1019
01:00:01.760 --> 01:00:06.100
in some really unique ways, but the enemy came in.

1020
01:00:06.120 --> 01:00:09.160
And so I woke up one night and I started hearing voices.

1021
01:00:09.400 --> 01:00:11.540
And so it was like, I was in the middle of the night.

1022
01:00:11.760 --> 01:00:13.020
I know this sounds crazy, y'all,

1023
01:00:13.120 --> 01:00:14.860
but I was like driving and listening

1024
01:00:15.100 --> 01:00:16.760
to the voice of the enemy,

1025
01:00:17.520 --> 01:00:19.500
literally just driving in my car.

1026
01:00:20.020 --> 01:00:22.360
And like, it got to the point where like,

1027
01:00:22.360 --> 01:00:23.900
people thought I was crazy, you know,

1028
01:00:23.900 --> 01:00:25.940
and my siblings had to come and intervene.

1029
01:00:25.940 --> 01:00:31.320
And so it was a really traumatic thing because I had this,

1030
01:00:31.460 --> 01:00:34.000
I was like, whatever you want, God, is what I'm gonna do.

1031
01:00:34.040 --> 01:00:35.700
Like, you want me to go to the ends of the earth?

1032
01:00:35.920 --> 01:00:37.860
That's, you got it, you know?

1033
01:00:38.580 --> 01:00:40.480
And I feel like that's how I've always been

1034
01:00:40.480 --> 01:00:41.380
in my relationships.

1035
01:00:41.580 --> 01:00:44.760
And so at the end of that situation,

1036
01:00:44.840 --> 01:00:47.320
I was like so afraid to leave my house.

1037
01:00:47.340 --> 01:00:49.540
I thought an Amazon package was like a bomb.

1038
01:00:50.320 --> 01:00:54.740
So I laugh at it now, but it took me about six

1039
01:00:54.740 --> 01:00:56.760
or nine months to wanna leave my house.

1040
01:00:56.900 --> 01:00:59.480
And then after that, it's just been like,

1041
01:00:59.620 --> 01:01:02.100
just coming out of that fear.

1042
01:01:02.240 --> 01:01:04.500
And so I think there's some of this that stems,

1043
01:01:04.820 --> 01:01:08.140
it's like, God, is this you or is this not you?

1044
01:01:08.260 --> 01:01:11.040
Like, I just wanna be obedient, you know?

1045
01:01:11.040 --> 01:01:15.080
And I think like, God's calling me to hire,

1046
01:01:15.400 --> 01:01:19.020
but I let my work dictate like,

1047
01:01:19.020 --> 01:01:23.380
how much success I bring in, right?

1048
01:01:23.380 --> 01:01:24.800
Because if my boss is like,

1049
01:01:24.800 --> 01:01:27.760
I was recently in this position for five years

1050
01:01:28.880 --> 01:01:31.900
and my old boss recently let me know that she,

1051
01:01:32.540 --> 01:01:34.640
her response basically to my new boss was like,

1052
01:01:34.880 --> 01:01:36.020
I have no plans for Nadine.

1053
01:01:36.380 --> 01:01:38.300
Like, you know, she has so much work.

1054
01:01:38.340 --> 01:01:39.660
And I was like, well, that's hurtful.

1055
01:01:39.700 --> 01:01:42.980
Like, there was gonna be no growth in this position.

1056
01:01:43.060 --> 01:01:45.520
And you were just now telling me after five years,

1057
01:01:45.680 --> 01:01:46.120
you know?

1058
01:01:46.340 --> 01:01:49.880
So I know that the Lord's calling me to hire,

1059
01:01:50.160 --> 01:01:53.220
but it feels, the warfare that came with it

1060
01:01:53.220 --> 01:01:56.680
was just so much that I'm just like,

1061
01:01:57.040 --> 01:01:58.600
is this from you, God?

1062
01:01:58.840 --> 01:02:00.440
Like, I know we deal with spiritual warfare,

1063
01:02:01.340 --> 01:02:03.760
but also like, God is a God of peace

1064
01:02:03.760 --> 01:02:05.420
and not the author of confusion.

1065
01:02:05.960 --> 01:02:07.060
So it's just-

1066
01:02:07.580 --> 01:02:09.460
Well, the enemy is the one that's assaulting you.

1067
01:02:09.680 --> 01:02:11.080
So that's the difference.

1068
01:02:11.260 --> 01:02:15.600
So God isn't the one that is causing that to happen.

1069
01:02:16.540 --> 01:02:18.740
And so the more that you heal,

1070
01:02:18.780 --> 01:02:21.260
I think the more distance you're gonna get from that.

1071
01:02:21.260 --> 01:02:23.680
And the more you're gonna discern, you know,

1072
01:02:23.680 --> 01:02:25.280
what is God saying to you?

1073
01:02:25.340 --> 01:02:28.280
And the more peace you're gonna have regarding

1074
01:02:28.420 --> 01:02:30.780
whether it's his voice or not his voice.

1075
01:02:31.300 --> 01:02:33.780
And honestly, even, you know,

1076
01:02:33.780 --> 01:02:35.240
I talked about this this afternoon,

1077
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:37.780
the more that we come out of religious mindsets

1078
01:02:37.780 --> 01:02:40.260
that we've heard or received from other people.

1079
01:02:40.660 --> 01:02:43.080
And just with what you're saying,

1080
01:02:43.300 --> 01:02:45.180
the bad deliverance session,

1081
01:02:45.360 --> 01:02:47.860
there might be, you know, some things that,

1082
01:02:47.980 --> 01:02:48.840
not just from that session,

1083
01:02:48.920 --> 01:02:50.960
but things that you learned along the way

1084
01:02:50.960 --> 01:02:53.440
that you might need to come out of a little bit more

1085
01:02:53.440 --> 01:02:54.220
as you go.

1086
01:02:54.740 --> 01:02:56.860
And so don't feel like even because I'm saying,

1087
01:02:57.280 --> 01:02:59.180
hey, you know, I think you should just try it.

1088
01:02:59.660 --> 01:03:01.120
You know, I'm not trying to tell you

1089
01:03:01.120 --> 01:03:02.880
what you should do per se,

1090
01:03:03.100 --> 01:03:06.560
but I think that it's important for you to know,

1091
01:03:06.560 --> 01:03:08.660
the reason I asked you the question I did,

1092
01:03:09.020 --> 01:03:10.180
and this is where I'm gonna close

1093
01:03:10.180 --> 01:03:11.900
and then I'll go to the next lady.

1094
01:03:13.640 --> 01:03:14.620
I asked you,

1095
01:03:14.820 --> 01:03:17.480
what do you think God's feelings towards you

1096
01:03:17.480 --> 01:03:19.660
are going to be if you step out

1097
01:03:19.660 --> 01:03:21.820
and it ends up being that He wants you to go

1098
01:03:21.820 --> 01:03:23.000
in a different direction?

1099
01:03:23.100 --> 01:03:24.240
And you said, I don't know.

1100
01:03:24.920 --> 01:03:25.800
And that's okay.

1101
01:03:25.800 --> 01:03:27.000
That was totally a fine answer.

1102
01:03:27.400 --> 01:03:28.520
The reason I asked you that

1103
01:03:28.520 --> 01:03:31.720
is because God's gonna love you irregardless,

1104
01:03:32.540 --> 01:03:36.500
and He's gonna help you irregardless, okay?

1105
01:03:36.820 --> 01:03:39.360
Now, there's a difference between us just,

1106
01:03:39.520 --> 01:03:41.640
and God loves us even when we willfully sin,

1107
01:03:41.740 --> 01:03:42.720
y'all, okay?

1108
01:03:43.260 --> 01:03:44.640
But this isn't sin.

1109
01:03:44.700 --> 01:03:46.500
This is you just trying your best

1110
01:03:46.840 --> 01:03:48.460
to discern which way to go.

1111
01:03:48.980 --> 01:03:51.600
And you're not gonna let Him down, Nadine.

1112
01:03:53.640 --> 01:03:54.160
Okay?

1113
01:03:54.300 --> 01:03:56.460
So it's really important for you to hear that

1114
01:03:56.460 --> 01:03:57.720
and soak in that.

1115
01:03:58.300 --> 01:04:01.780
Like, He's gonna be there to help you no matter what,

1116
01:04:02.060 --> 01:04:03.280
because He's a good dad.

1117
01:04:04.900 --> 01:04:05.540
All right?

1118
01:04:06.200 --> 01:04:07.900
So just keep partnering with that

1119
01:04:07.900 --> 01:04:09.500
and let's see where it leads you,

1120
01:04:09.520 --> 01:04:11.140
if that gives you a little bit more freedom.

1121
01:04:11.520 --> 01:04:12.260
And like I said,

1122
01:04:12.360 --> 01:04:15.120
just knowing your identity in Christ more and more,

1123
01:04:15.580 --> 01:04:17.900
like asking Him to show you like,

1124
01:04:17.900 --> 01:04:19.320
God, how do you see me?

1125
01:04:20.840 --> 01:04:22.600
What do you wanna say about,

1126
01:04:22.820 --> 01:04:24.060
like, what do you want me to know

1127
01:04:24.060 --> 01:04:25.540
about your heart towards me today?

1128
01:04:26.520 --> 01:04:29.460
And just kind of be in the posture of asking Him that

1129
01:04:29.460 --> 01:04:30.840
on a daily basis right now.

1130
01:04:31.520 --> 01:04:32.040
Okay?

1131
01:04:32.860 --> 01:04:32.900
All right.

1132
01:04:33.080 --> 01:04:33.960
You're welcome.

1133
01:04:34.720 --> 01:04:35.300
You're welcome.

1134
01:04:36.500 --> 01:04:36.920
All right.

1135
01:04:37.100 --> 01:04:40.020
I'm gonna have to ask again how to say your name.

1136
01:04:40.120 --> 01:04:40.960
I'm so sorry.

1137
01:04:41.080 --> 01:04:42.180
I wrote it down last week

1138
01:04:42.180 --> 01:04:44.320
and I meant to look at that before the session tonight.

1139
01:04:44.960 --> 01:04:46.800
You probably, yeah.

1140
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:47.380
Yes, go ahead.

1141
01:04:47.380 --> 01:04:48.660
Tell me how to say it again.

1142
01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:50.180
Zio.

1143
01:04:50.380 --> 01:04:50.700
Okay.

1144
01:04:51.320 --> 01:04:51.740
Yes.

1145
01:04:52.540 --> 01:04:55.240
Yeah, like uncle in Italian.

1146
01:04:58.040 --> 01:04:58.460
Zio.

1147
01:04:58.880 --> 01:04:59.060
Yes.

1148
01:04:59.480 --> 01:04:59.800
Okay.

1149
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.940
it. Thank you. Thank you. Um, yeah, I have, and I shared with

1150
01:05:05.940 --> 01:05:13.240
the girls, I have fear of being cheated on. And I think that so

1151
01:05:13.240 --> 01:05:17.340
my mom was always paranoid of my dad cheating on her. And she

1152
01:05:17.340 --> 01:05:22.040
didn't have a very supportive circle of friends. So she would

1153
01:05:21.960 --> 01:05:27.620
like, tell me all of her problems or insecurities or your

1154
01:05:27.620 --> 01:05:31.500
dad did this to me that to me, when I was like, since I got

1155
01:05:31.500 --> 01:05:39.820
three, three or four year old. And then, and then, you know,

1156
01:05:40.460 --> 01:05:47.460
when I did, my mom did catch my dad with another woman. Horribly,

1157
01:05:47.800 --> 01:05:52.660
right? I don't want to go into details. But I was with my mom

1158
01:05:52.660 --> 01:06:00.240
in the car, when all of that happened. And yeah, I think

1159
01:06:01.680 --> 01:06:07.320
that sometimes I could have a doubt that somebody is not

1160
01:06:07.320 --> 01:06:13.920
really saying the truth, you know? Yeah.

1161
01:06:14.660 --> 01:06:19.840
Okay. I'm so sorry that you went through that. And I'm sorry that

1162
01:06:19.840 --> 01:06:24.860
those things were even told to you as a little girl. You know,

1163
01:06:24.860 --> 01:06:27.400
you just didn't even have the capacity to carry the weight

1164
01:06:27.400 --> 01:06:30.860
that was being placed on you. And I'm really sorry that you

1165
01:06:31.180 --> 01:06:35.260
that you had to do that. And I know that that broke the Lord's

1166
01:06:35.260 --> 01:06:38.480
heart for you too. And, and the reality, the interesting thing

1167
01:06:38.480 --> 01:06:41.640
is I wrote down when I was praying while you all were in

1168
01:06:41.640 --> 01:06:44.520
the groups, I wrote down generational fears, I literally

1169
01:06:44.520 --> 01:06:47.940
felt like God, God was telling me that there were, and I'm sure

1170
01:06:47.940 --> 01:06:51.160
there's more than one, but people hear tonight that the

1171
01:06:51.160 --> 01:06:55.140
fears are received, because you heard them come down. And now

1172
01:06:55.140 --> 01:06:58.020
you're telling me this is this is what happened in your home.

1173
01:06:58.540 --> 01:07:03.580
And so, ladies, if you remember, generational blessings can

1174
01:07:03.840 --> 01:07:08.180
replace a generational curse or a generational fear, anything

1175
01:07:08.180 --> 01:07:12.320
that we receive generationally, that isn't good, we can partner

1176
01:07:12.320 --> 01:07:17.920
with God to receive the truth to counteract those lies, and be

1177
01:07:17.920 --> 01:07:20.860
a kinsman redeemer in our family to bring blessing

1178
01:07:20.860 --> 01:07:23.780
instead of the the curse or the fear or whatever that negative

1179
01:07:23.780 --> 01:07:29.000
thing is. And so, Zio, I think that God wants to really set you

1180
01:07:29.000 --> 01:07:32.100
free from this because your mom's fate does not have to be

1181
01:07:32.100 --> 01:07:37.820
your fate. It doesn't. But you have to like, genuinely, even

1182
01:07:37.820 --> 01:07:40.600
though it's hard, because you grew up in this you've been like

1183
01:07:40.600 --> 01:07:44.300
you were literally trained in it, essentially. So you have to

1184
01:07:44.300 --> 01:07:48.740
now untrain yourself in that and train your mind in the

1185
01:07:48.520 --> 01:07:52.420
opposite. And so really want to encourage you to in the days

1186
01:07:52.840 --> 01:07:55.740
ahead, actively, like I think you need to even write it out on

1187
01:07:55.740 --> 01:07:59.040
a post it note or put or something to put it up. Like I

1188
01:07:59.040 --> 01:08:05.220
come out of agreement with the lie, and the fear that I'm going

1189
01:08:05.440 --> 01:08:08.380
to, you know what, I'm just kind of throwing this out there. But

1190
01:08:08.380 --> 01:08:12.040
you can pray and ask the Lord what it needs to be. But that my

1191
01:08:12.040 --> 01:08:15.220
fate will be like my mom's or that, you know, whoever I end up

1192
01:08:15.220 --> 01:08:18.160
with, I won't be able to trust them, or, you know, whatever

1193
01:08:18.160 --> 01:08:22.279
those things are that are aligned with that. And then then

1194
01:08:22.279 --> 01:08:26.319
you would write the opposite, I come into agreement with the

1195
01:08:26.319 --> 01:08:30.140
truth that God, you are my defender, I'm God defended.

1196
01:08:32.080 --> 01:08:35.779
That's the number one truth. That's the opposite of that.

1197
01:08:35.779 --> 01:08:41.859
Ladies, we need to understand that God is going to protect us

1198
01:08:41.899 --> 01:08:45.060
one way or another. Now he will, you know, people have free will,

1199
01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:49.279
yes. But no matter what we go through, God will defend us,

1200
01:08:49.740 --> 01:08:58.000
protect us, provide for us. Okay, but I believe that the

1201
01:08:58.000 --> 01:09:01.300
reason that your mom probably battled with that for so long is

1202
01:09:01.300 --> 01:09:04.540
she probably went into a relationship that already was

1203
01:09:04.540 --> 01:09:09.220
not healthy. Okay. And so even that is going to be different

1204
01:09:09.220 --> 01:09:12.979
for you, because you're here healing, and you can learn how

1205
01:09:12.979 --> 01:09:17.920
to choose someone that's healthy. Do you see the

1206
01:09:17.740 --> 01:09:25.540
difference? Yeah. And so I'm also just really be praying into

1207
01:09:28.220 --> 01:09:31.500
those areas where like, have you already done a forgiveness

1208
01:09:31.500 --> 01:09:35.319
prayer sheet specifically for your mom, like telling you these

1209
01:09:35.300 --> 01:09:40.500
things? Yeah, you're gonna that's, yeah, I've probably like

1210
01:09:40.520 --> 01:09:43.560
have said it before, but I haven't done a like a

1211
01:09:43.560 --> 01:09:47.080
forgiveness sheet. Yeah, well, I'm not there yet. I'm trying.

1212
01:09:47.460 --> 01:09:50.700
Yeah, it's okay. Hey, you don't have to rush ahead to week four

1213
01:09:50.700 --> 01:09:55.440
to do that. But I would just encourage you this week, just as

1214
01:09:55.440 --> 01:09:59.980
they come up, because I have a feeling you were three to four

1215
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.600
or in this probably went on for a little while, correct?

1216
01:10:03.020 --> 01:10:03.940
Oh yeah, years.

1217
01:10:04.340 --> 01:10:07.720
Yeah, so you're probably gonna have several things

1218
01:10:07.720 --> 01:10:09.660
that you're gonna need to forgive your mom for

1219
01:10:09.660 --> 01:10:12.800
and your dad, all right?

1220
01:10:13.020 --> 01:10:15.900
Because you need to forgive your dad for cheating too.

1221
01:10:16.860 --> 01:10:17.540
Yeah.

1222
01:10:18.120 --> 01:10:18.520
Right?

1223
01:10:19.020 --> 01:10:19.560
Yeah.

1224
01:10:19.800 --> 01:10:20.480
Yeah.

1225
01:10:20.740 --> 01:10:25.380
Yeah, he learned it from my grandpa and it's not nice.

1226
01:10:25.560 --> 01:10:27.920
Yeah, and we can have compassion totally,

1227
01:10:27.920 --> 01:10:31.540
but the act of you forgiving your dad for that

1228
01:10:31.540 --> 01:10:33.100
and the act of you forgiving your mom

1229
01:10:33.100 --> 01:10:35.940
for telling you those things and placing those burdens

1230
01:10:35.940 --> 01:10:38.600
on you is gonna be really helpful for you, okay?

1231
01:10:39.100 --> 01:10:40.220
That's good, thank you.

1232
01:10:40.640 --> 01:10:41.240
You're welcome.

1233
01:10:41.740 --> 01:10:42.640
Hilda, go ahead.

1234
01:10:48.540 --> 01:10:49.620
Hi, Bethany.

1235
01:10:49.920 --> 01:10:50.440
Hi.

1236
01:10:51.820 --> 01:10:55.200
So my, there were actually two things

1237
01:10:55.200 --> 01:10:56.800
that I need breakthrough on.

1238
01:10:57.920 --> 01:11:03.280
And I didn't realize how they was just holding me back

1239
01:11:03.280 --> 01:11:04.100
for so long.

1240
01:11:04.760 --> 01:11:07.960
One is the fear of premature death

1241
01:11:07.960 --> 01:11:11.460
because I saw my dad pass away in the ER.

1242
01:11:13.160 --> 01:11:18.540
And so every time I have a medical exam, I can't sleep.

1243
01:11:20.000 --> 01:11:22.500
I'm just, I'm crying.

1244
01:11:23.060 --> 01:11:24.700
Like, where is this coming from?

1245
01:11:25.700 --> 01:11:30.000
And it's like, it really paralyzes me.

1246
01:11:31.640 --> 01:11:34.300
So I wanna make, I'm just afraid, like,

1247
01:11:34.300 --> 01:11:36.300
to not be there for my kids.

1248
01:11:36.940 --> 01:11:37.180
Yeah.

1249
01:11:37.560 --> 01:11:41.160
So, cause my daughter lost her father.

1250
01:11:42.680 --> 01:11:42.680


1251
01:11:43.680 --> 01:11:43.880
It's okay.

1252
01:11:45.380 --> 01:11:50.960
Four years ago and that same month I lost my best friend.

1253
01:11:53.380 --> 01:11:59.000
And so, yeah, so my mom got an x-ray

1254
01:11:59.000 --> 01:12:01.940
and then they said that there was,

1255
01:12:02.460 --> 01:12:04.160
you know, she needs to do a CT scan

1256
01:12:04.160 --> 01:12:05.380
so they see something abnormal.

1257
01:12:05.500 --> 01:12:09.540
I've just been really, just really, you know, afraid.

1258
01:12:10.360 --> 01:12:12.240
Honestly, I mean, that's, you know,

1259
01:12:12.240 --> 01:12:15.840
I'm not supposed to be afraid, but it's feeling inside.

1260
01:12:17.640 --> 01:12:20.420
And it just, I find it hard to be resilient.

1261
01:12:20.960 --> 01:12:22.780
I feel like my mom is such a, like,

1262
01:12:22.780 --> 01:12:24.880
some people, like, I just look at them and I'm like,

1263
01:12:24.880 --> 01:12:26.080
oh, they're just so strong.

1264
01:12:26.400 --> 01:12:27.960
I just cry for everything.

1265
01:12:28.140 --> 01:12:33.020
I'm always, I'm just like, you know, I just, you know,

1266
01:12:33.040 --> 01:12:37.680
even though I'm in business, I mean, I work for myself.

1267
01:12:37.820 --> 01:12:40.060
I'm in sales, I'm in real estate.

1268
01:12:40.780 --> 01:12:45.200
And I, it seems like that part is okay,

1269
01:12:45.220 --> 01:12:48.780
but this part of my life really holds me back.

1270
01:12:48.780 --> 01:12:53.540
And the other part is that, you know, yeah,

1271
01:12:53.540 --> 01:12:55.480
I was in real estate myself too late

1272
01:12:55.480 --> 01:12:57.580
and I wanted to see if it's something

1273
01:12:57.580 --> 01:12:59.980
that the Lord wants me to keep moving forward

1274
01:12:59.980 --> 01:13:03.280
because I also have fear of kind of like

1275
01:13:03.280 --> 01:13:04.320
not believing in myself

1276
01:13:04.320 --> 01:13:06.100
because I did have some past failures

1277
01:13:06.300 --> 01:13:08.220
and I revamped myself.

1278
01:13:08.220 --> 01:13:10.440
I've been working on me and I have,

1279
01:13:10.840 --> 01:13:12.360
I want to come back in it,

1280
01:13:12.420 --> 01:13:15.020
but I just feel like I don't, you know,

1281
01:13:15.680 --> 01:13:17.960
don't have the confidence, like, you know,

1282
01:13:18.520 --> 01:13:20.420
the zeal that I used to have before.

1283
01:13:21.880 --> 01:13:23.140
So those two main,

1284
01:13:23.320 --> 01:13:26.700
those are the two main things I need breakthrough on.

1285
01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:29.700
And I just, yeah, it's debilitating

1286
01:13:29.720 --> 01:13:32.440
because I get to the point where I kind of get,

1287
01:13:32.600 --> 01:13:34.300
there's so many thoughts coming, negative thoughts.

1288
01:13:34.420 --> 01:13:36.480
And then I have been working on my thoughts

1289
01:13:38.180 --> 01:13:40.960
and it's helped when I say I'm, you know,

1290
01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:42.620
I take all thoughts captive.

1291
01:13:42.840 --> 01:13:45.160
I feel like it's like a spiritual battle,

1292
01:13:45.220 --> 01:13:47.240
just trying to battle these negative thoughts.

1293
01:13:47.240 --> 01:13:50.340
All the time and it's exhausting, you know?

1294
01:13:50.560 --> 01:13:52.500
And then I, sometimes I don't do anything that day

1295
01:13:52.500 --> 01:13:54.220
because I'm just crippled, you know?

1296
01:13:55.380 --> 01:13:55.380


1297
01:13:56.200 --> 01:13:58.820
Hilda, how old were you when your dad passed away, please?

1298
01:14:01.660 --> 01:14:04.780
I was, I was in my,

1299
01:14:05.220 --> 01:14:12.900
I was 20, no, I was 30, 35.

1300
01:14:13.820 --> 01:14:14.260
Okay.

1301
01:14:14.480 --> 01:14:16.760
And had you lost someone else

1302
01:14:16.760 --> 01:14:18.300
when you were younger at all,

1303
01:14:18.460 --> 01:14:20.120
or was this the first person you lost

1304
01:14:20.120 --> 01:14:21.220
that you were that close to?

1305
01:14:22.900 --> 01:14:24.500
He was the first person that I lost

1306
01:14:24.500 --> 01:14:27.440
that I was, he was close to, yeah.

1307
01:14:27.460 --> 01:14:27.460


1308
01:14:28.460 --> 01:14:28.980
Alrighty.

1309
01:14:29.400 --> 01:14:31.160
So this has given me some ideas.

1310
01:14:31.300 --> 01:14:32.900
I do think at some point,

1311
01:14:33.000 --> 01:14:35.480
the not believing in yourself and the confidence,

1312
01:14:35.900 --> 01:14:38.400
the Lord will help you address those things.

1313
01:14:38.400 --> 01:14:41.640
But I think the deep fear and panic

1314
01:14:42.120 --> 01:14:43.880
regarding the premature death,

1315
01:14:43.880 --> 01:14:46.840
I think that healing is going to impact you

1316
01:14:46.840 --> 01:14:47.980
in those other areas.

1317
01:14:49.240 --> 01:14:51.180
Interestingly enough, there was a lady on the,

1318
01:14:51.520 --> 01:14:53.440
a young lady on our session this afternoon,

1319
01:14:53.740 --> 01:14:56.400
who also is struggling with fear of premature death.

1320
01:14:57.200 --> 01:14:59.980
And one of the things the Lord led me to say to her.

1321
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.940
is, um, a, that we, you know, some of this, it's going to take time. So I want to encourage you

1322
01:15:05.940 --> 01:15:12.540
just to have grace for yourself. Um, because it sounds like, you know, this goes really deep,

1323
01:15:12.760 --> 01:15:17.960
you know, this was your dad, you saw it happen. Sounds like it was a traumatic thing potentially,

1324
01:15:19.680 --> 01:15:25.500
you know, and so the Lord, we want him to come in and heal that. And so in the grieving process,

1325
01:15:25.500 --> 01:15:34.260
how long has it been since he passed away? Uh, it's been 10 years. Okay. Yeah. And so sometimes

1326
01:15:34.260 --> 01:15:46.380
what can happen is, um, we can get stuck in grief cycles. Yeah. And so I, I think part of your

1327
01:15:46.380 --> 01:15:54.920
journey is going to be really giving yourself permission to move forward and, um, to allow

1328
01:15:54.920 --> 01:16:01.700
the Lord to come into the trauma place. Like even just asking Jesus to show you where he was the day

1329
01:16:01.700 --> 01:16:07.900
that you were in the hospital and your dad died in the ER and show you where he was at. And what

1330
01:16:07.900 --> 01:16:15.400
does he want you to know about it? Okay. So that's step number one. Number two, what I told this

1331
01:16:15.400 --> 01:16:21.820
young lady this afternoon is there are scriptures that talk about vitality, long life that talk

1332
01:16:21.820 --> 01:16:30.240
about, you know, God blessing us with, um, you know, years of, you know, goodness and mercy here

1333
01:16:30.240 --> 01:16:36.020
in the land of the living, all of those kinds of scriptures that talk about God's blessings and all

1334
01:16:36.020 --> 01:16:41.200
of that. I want to encourage you to look those kinds of scriptures up right down, whichever ones

1335
01:16:41.200 --> 01:16:48.620
resonate for you and really start to meditate on the truth of God's word that contradicts this,

1336
01:16:48.620 --> 01:16:54.320
um, spirit of death, really essentially that's attacking you. Um, you don't have to be afraid of

1337
01:16:54.320 --> 01:16:58.900
it, but you just need to understand that that's, what's happening. This spirit of fear is partnering

1338
01:16:58.900 --> 01:17:03.640
with the spirit of death because you said not only, you know, your dad, then you literally,

1339
01:17:03.920 --> 01:17:08.420
as soon as you said your dad, then you said your, if I heard you correctly, your daughter lost her

1340
01:17:08.420 --> 01:17:14.600
dad, then you lost a friend. Then you started talking about your mom and it's in, and that's

1341
01:17:14.600 --> 01:17:20.020
starting to kind of, it's like a snowball. It starts to go. Right. And so what I'm showing me

1342
01:17:20.020 --> 01:17:26.020
is at the core that there's that spirit, that's really trying to come against you and war against

1343
01:17:26.020 --> 01:17:32.040
you. And the only way we overcome those things, ladies is to like literally stand up against it,

1344
01:17:32.060 --> 01:17:37.620
but we have to have the truth to stand on first, and we need to be healed in the core of who we are

1345
01:17:37.620 --> 01:17:42.700
from the trauma. So that's why it's important for you. Number one, remember, invite Jesus to show

1346
01:17:42.700 --> 01:17:48.540
Jesus. Where were you the day that my dad died in the ER? Where were you at when that happened?

1347
01:17:48.740 --> 01:17:53.920
And what do you want me to hear about your spirit? Like, what do you want to help me hear that your

1348
01:17:53.920 --> 01:18:00.560
spirit is saying to me in that moment? Not just right now today, but back 10 years ago, the day

1349
01:18:00.560 --> 01:18:04.760
that that was all happening in the ER, what is Jesus? What is God? What does the Holy spirit

1350
01:18:04.760 --> 01:18:11.420
want you to know? Okay. And start there. And as you are processing that, you know, I want to

1351
01:18:11.420 --> 01:18:16.780
feel free to come in the group and, you know, share more because I feel like some other stuff

1352
01:18:16.780 --> 01:18:24.480
might come out as you do that. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I remember when I was in, um, I was in the, um,

1353
01:18:24.480 --> 01:18:32.580
in the ER and, um, he gave me, he was laying down and he gave me a gold cross.

1354
01:18:33.300 --> 01:18:36.940
Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. So

1355
01:18:38.480 --> 01:18:44.500
they told me I couldn't go in. I was eight months pregnant with my daughter.

1356
01:18:44.980 --> 01:18:49.080
Yeah. And then I went into this small room and I prayed.

1357
01:18:51.040 --> 01:18:57.180
And, and I think part of this too, um, kind of what's happening now, even just cause you,

1358
01:18:57.400 --> 01:19:00.640
even as you were sharing earlier, you were saying something about yourself. You said,

1359
01:19:00.640 --> 01:19:05.660
I cry a lot. And then you said, I always, but you didn't finish the statement. And so I feel

1360
01:19:05.660 --> 01:19:10.680
like even words that people have spoken over you, I think you have a sensitive empathic spirit

1361
01:19:10.980 --> 01:19:15.320
and it's not a negative thing. It's just that you've been, you've had this trauma stuff.

1362
01:19:15.320 --> 01:19:20.220
That's gotten to kind of, you know, maybe I don't even want to say all the way out of balance,

1363
01:19:20.300 --> 01:19:25.240
but it just feels like it just, it's very hard for you to come out of the grief place because

1364
01:19:25.240 --> 01:19:31.020
you feel so deeply, but you're going to be able to, you are going to be able to. So partner with

1365
01:19:31.020 --> 01:19:37.080
the truth, let God come in and really heal that place. Okay. And then share with us more in the

1366
01:19:37.080 --> 01:19:44.200
group so we can, can continue to help coach you through that. Okay. Okay. All right. You're

1367
01:19:44.200 --> 01:19:47.320
welcome. Thank you for sharing with us. Jodi W go ahead.

1368
01:19:51.440 --> 01:19:59.980
Hi, thanks. Hi. I what I shared in the group was just, I just had

1369
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.180
a doctor's appointment today and it was the first time that a doctor kind of said to me,

1370
01:20:06.660 --> 01:20:15.480
oh you really should consider that you might be entering like into perimenopause and like looking

1371
01:20:15.480 --> 01:20:19.740
at you know at least talk to somebody because you're about to like you're about that age.

1372
01:20:20.460 --> 01:20:31.220
And so like it just it hit me different and then but prior to that I my sister like announced to

1373
01:20:31.220 --> 01:20:38.300
me suddenly that she was getting married and she and I are the only two in my family of my siblings

1374
01:20:38.300 --> 01:20:44.940
that are not married and we're the two that were not married for the last 15 years. My brothers

1375
01:20:44.940 --> 01:20:54.160
are all married. I have three other brothers and it was I found it hard for me to figure out how

1376
01:20:54.160 --> 01:21:04.760
to process how I felt about it because on one hand I'm happy for her of course but on the other hand

1377
01:21:04.860 --> 01:21:12.140
like it's hitting me harder that like oh I'm going to be the only single person and I'm later

1378
01:21:12.140 --> 01:21:20.000
and then I have you know well what if I missed my chance and I realized that when I tried to

1379
01:21:20.000 --> 01:21:26.060
spend time to like talk to God in journal about it I would feel like just I just I had it was

1380
01:21:26.060 --> 01:21:31.480
like I was numb you know and then whenever I was not having time to talk about it I felt like I

1381
01:21:31.480 --> 01:21:37.020
could cry at any moment and and I haven't been able to get out of this space and it's just been

1382
01:21:37.020 --> 01:21:46.140
a few weeks and she's getting married in a few weeks so it happened very fast which on one hand

1383
01:21:46.140 --> 01:21:54.320
logically that's encouraging and from a perspective it can still happen and it can happen fast but my

1384
01:21:54.320 --> 01:22:01.460
heart was like processing it on a whole different space and so I've been stuck in this and I realized

1385
01:22:01.460 --> 01:22:07.420
like you know going up to front of the church to ask for prayer like they might not understand and

1386
01:22:07.420 --> 01:22:12.420
I was so thankful for this group this is my first time sharing in the large group but I realized I'm

1387
01:22:12.420 --> 01:22:18.320
like I normally can work through my emotions I've been a good journaler I I've learned how to unpack

1388
01:22:18.340 --> 01:22:24.740
understand the heart work and inner healing already and so but I've been really stuck here

1389
01:22:24.740 --> 01:22:32.700
and I realized even how it showed up is like I've been having to work extra hard to have a good

1390
01:22:32.780 --> 01:22:38.740
attitude in the things that I've had to do to help her and I know that it's coming from that like

1391
01:22:40.380 --> 01:22:48.180
that disappointment that okay see you are you know the last one and maybe you won't get married

1392
01:22:48.180 --> 01:22:55.760
and then on top of that then the doctor says today you know you you might be nearing that stage

1393
01:22:56.320 --> 01:23:02.520
and so it just normally I can recover I work through things and this has just kind of

1394
01:23:02.520 --> 01:23:11.280
left me very like stuck and so I'm not sure what to do because the traditional things I would do

1395
01:23:11.840 --> 01:23:20.740
for this yeah um I think the biggest thing is you're doing the best thing you can do right now

1396
01:23:20.860 --> 01:23:26.860
you're acknowledging your feelings you you were very clear and and the fact that at first it was

1397
01:23:26.860 --> 01:23:32.420
hard to process and then you were feeling numb then you were feeling like you could cry at the

1398
01:23:32.420 --> 01:23:35.600
drop of a hat like you're acknowledging the different things that you're feeling you're

1399
01:23:35.770 --> 01:23:42.450
allowing yourself to feel them which is good um I think the only way to get through this is to go

1400
01:23:42.450 --> 01:23:53.570
through Jodi and to really on um when those lies come in as hard as it is okay to not partner with

1401
01:23:53.570 --> 01:24:04.530
it's not going to happen for me why can't it happen for you just because she's she's getting

1402
01:24:04.530 --> 01:24:10.390
married why does that mean that you can't you know where we really have to like get to the core

1403
01:24:10.850 --> 01:24:14.970
with why do we believe that it's not going to happen for us

1404
01:24:16.890 --> 01:24:18.610
and so um

1405
01:24:21.990 --> 01:24:26.630
I kind of what comes to mind uh I don't know have you ever seen the movie 27 dresses

1406
01:24:28.450 --> 01:24:36.330
yeah that comes to mind and you know some of the way like busyness and things and she didn't even

1407
01:24:36.330 --> 01:24:42.010
realize even though she always centered herself around helping other people get married you know

1408
01:24:42.910 --> 01:24:48.370
um there was this core desire that she had that was really brought out through that movie right

1409
01:24:49.150 --> 01:24:56.370
and you see what your core desire is you know what you want and it's just whether or not you believe

1410
01:24:56.370 --> 01:24:59.350
God is going to give it to you

1411
01:25:00.640 --> 01:25:06.020
Right? And so one of the things when you all were in the breakout rooms too is

1412
01:25:06.160 --> 01:25:09.040
I heard the Lord say that he is not slack.

1413
01:25:10.940 --> 01:25:16.860
And what that means, at least for me, I literally saw like he's not going to

1414
01:25:16.860 --> 01:25:24.040
start to extend his hand and then hold back. He's not slack regarding his promises. He comes all in.

1415
01:25:24.040 --> 01:25:31.440
He comes all in with abundance. And right now you're feeling extra vulnerable because of the

1416
01:25:31.440 --> 01:25:36.320
doctor appointment today. And so that's, that is trying, like the enemy is just trying to

1417
01:25:36.320 --> 01:25:40.760
discourage you, but you're doing the best thing you can do by even sharing out loud.

1418
01:25:40.760 --> 01:25:46.120
Because as soon as you speak that out, you're allowing the darkness to be conquered by the

1419
01:25:46.120 --> 01:25:51.580
light because not, you're not dealing with it by yourself. Now you have this amazing group of women

1420
01:25:51.580 --> 01:25:57.220
around you. We love you. We're believing with you. And I want to encourage you, like, you know,

1421
01:25:57.220 --> 01:26:01.960
on the days that you're struggling to have faith, Jodi, like you can borrow from my faith for you.

1422
01:26:02.380 --> 01:26:06.380
You can borrow from your other sisters in this group faith. You know, come on the prayer calls

1423
01:26:06.380 --> 01:26:10.300
as much as you ladies, please, as much as you can. It's okay if you can't all the time, but

1424
01:26:10.380 --> 01:26:14.180
come on the prayer calls because I'm telling you what, it's going to encourage your faith.

1425
01:26:14.340 --> 01:26:18.640
It's going to build you up in every area, not just regarding your spirit, man. It's going to help you

1426
01:26:18.640 --> 01:26:25.540
out of unhealthy heart postures towards men and towards yourself. There's just so much. And so

1427
01:26:26.520 --> 01:26:33.760
allow yourself to be surrounded by community. And, um, you know, we can kind of band with you

1428
01:26:33.760 --> 01:26:42.120
like a band of sisters, right. And lock arms with you and say, Hey, I believe, I believe for you.

1429
01:26:42.120 --> 01:26:47.720
And you can also say, I believe Lord helped my unbelief and he gets it.

1430
01:26:49.120 --> 01:26:55.200
He understands you. He's not mad that you feel disappointed or sad or that you're struggling

1431
01:26:55.200 --> 01:27:01.900
right now. But I believe also by the time you go to that wedding, that you're going to have a

1432
01:27:01.900 --> 01:27:08.540
supernatural grace to be there and feel joyful because you're not going to feel like you're

1433
01:27:08.540 --> 01:27:12.860
not going to have it too. You're going to, you're going to shift in that time. I really believe it

1434
01:27:12.860 --> 01:27:17.120
in the next few weeks that you're going to continue to break free. You're going to continue

1435
01:27:17.120 --> 01:27:23.280
to heal and you'll be able to walk in there with your head held high, knowing that God is going to

1436
01:27:23.280 --> 01:27:32.160
fulfill his promise to you too. And ladies, let's, let's look at when we have a fear or a feeling of

1437
01:27:32.620 --> 01:27:37.840
just kind of like I was talking about earlier, y'all, I am literally one of the last ones of

1438
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:45.360
my friends to have a baby myself. And I could partner with that. And, and I'm not saying this

1439
01:27:45.360 --> 01:27:49.840
to minimize your feelings because as I told him trying to validate them. Okay. So make sure you

1440
01:27:49.840 --> 01:27:55.120
hear that. But I could partner with, I'm the last one. God's not going to do it for me.

1441
01:27:56.560 --> 01:28:02.600
Or I could partner with God. I trust that however you want to bring me a child, it's your perfect

1442
01:28:03.100 --> 01:28:11.360
plan. I get to choose what I'm going to believe and partner with. And so again, you have to,

1443
01:28:11.540 --> 01:28:15.160
like I was saying earlier, we have to guard our hearts and our minds, ladies. We have to be

1444
01:28:15.160 --> 01:28:20.620
vigilant and it can feel tough when we feel discouraged. So hopefully tonight you get

1445
01:28:20.620 --> 01:28:26.440
some built up and get some re-encouragement, some new courage, some new grace, some new hope

1446
01:28:26.440 --> 01:28:34.880
spoken into. And, um, yeah, I'm next. Vanessa just said it in the chat. Like you're next tag. You're

1447
01:28:34.880 --> 01:28:40.880
it. I believe it. Back in the day. I literally, I tell this story all the time. God started talking

1448
01:28:40.880 --> 01:28:46.520
to me and he told me to start declaring out of my mouth. I am a bride. And literally this was

1449
01:28:46.520 --> 01:28:51.480
back in COVID days. Y'all. I talked to myself all the time in that apartment. I was not crazy,

1450
01:28:51.580 --> 01:28:55.960
but I was declaring God's goodness over my life. And I was partnering with the truth that I was

1451
01:28:55.960 --> 01:29:00.280
a bride. I, Bethany Stanko, I'm a bride. I literally would look at myself in the mirror

1452
01:29:00.280 --> 01:29:04.620
and tell myself that I would walk around. I was partnering with that. I got a prayer calls.

1453
01:29:04.820 --> 01:29:09.620
We, I was like, I'm a bride. You're a bride. We're all brides because that's what somebody, this guy

1454
01:29:09.620 --> 01:29:15.380
who was totally like hammered when we were in Austin, we didn't know him. Bunch of us showed

1455
01:29:15.380 --> 01:29:19.700
up in the activation, all dressed in white. And we had these bride sashes on that Jackie had given

1456
01:29:19.700 --> 01:29:25.120
us. And he's like, you're a bride. Wait, you're a bride. He's like, wait, you're. And he didn't,

1457
01:29:25.120 --> 01:29:29.160
he couldn't even comprehend it. And so we all started laughing and we were all, we were literally

1458
01:29:29.160 --> 01:29:35.060
like, we're all brides. And so ever since then, it's been something from time to time that God

1459
01:29:35.060 --> 01:29:40.360
has led me to release. And so I just speak that over all of you. That you guys, Hey, when you

1460
01:29:40.360 --> 01:29:44.400
cheer each other on and in your comments, when people do a post, you might want to on occasion,

1461
01:29:44.560 --> 01:29:50.040
say, Hey, sis, I'm a bride. You're a bride too. Like build each other's faith up.

1462
01:29:50.880 --> 01:29:55.480
You've got this Jodi and God's got you. He's not going to fail you.

1463
01:29:57.620 --> 01:29:59.980
Okay. Ladies, we have to.

1464
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.520
Partner with the truth, we have to, okay?

1465
01:30:02.520 --> 01:30:03.720
It's so vital.

1466
01:30:05.900 --> 01:30:07.460
Yes, we're all brides.

1467
01:30:07.780 --> 01:30:10.960
I'm a living bride, I'm almost three years in.

1468
01:30:11.680 --> 01:30:13.580
And y'all, if God can do it for me,

1469
01:30:13.620 --> 01:30:15.760
he can do it for you, all right?

1470
01:30:16.660 --> 01:30:18.740
Okay, I said I wasn't gonna go late, but I am.

1471
01:30:19.120 --> 01:30:21.580
If you need to log off, it's okay.

1472
01:30:21.840 --> 01:30:23.540
I know I'm coaching a little long,

1473
01:30:23.620 --> 01:30:26.300
but y'all, sometimes I feel like I've really gotta

1474
01:30:27.060 --> 01:30:30.080
make sure that we hear all the different aspects

1475
01:30:30.080 --> 01:30:33.320
and angles of what's going on in these dynamics, right?

1476
01:30:37.360 --> 01:30:40.380
So, I'm gonna give you an assignment, Jodi, as well.

1477
01:30:41.240 --> 01:30:44.360
I am gonna encourage you to activate yourself as a bride.

1478
01:30:45.300 --> 01:30:46.260
Because you know what?

1479
01:30:46.340 --> 01:30:48.000
Right now, you're partnering with the lie

1480
01:30:48.000 --> 01:30:49.860
that it's not gonna happen for you,

1481
01:30:49.860 --> 01:30:51.680
and you need to partner with it's gonna happen.

1482
01:30:51.860 --> 01:30:54.360
And so I want you to pray and ask the Lord

1483
01:30:54.360 --> 01:30:56.960
what kind of bride gear you need to go buy yourself.

1484
01:30:57.180 --> 01:30:59.400
It could be a cup, it could be a bride sash,

1485
01:30:59.800 --> 01:31:02.560
it could be a journal, anything,

1486
01:31:02.760 --> 01:31:04.280
whatever you feel led to do,

1487
01:31:05.220 --> 01:31:08.600
that you will partner with the truth that you are a bride

1488
01:31:08.600 --> 01:31:11.480
and start activating that in your life, okay?

1489
01:31:12.700 --> 01:31:15.180
All right, anybody else that feels led to do that

1490
01:31:15.180 --> 01:31:16.000
can do it, too.

1491
01:31:16.400 --> 01:31:18.480
Okay, remember, if I say something to another sister

1492
01:31:18.480 --> 01:31:20.440
in here and you're feeling that in your spirit,

1493
01:31:20.840 --> 01:31:23.460
go ahead and grab it and go do it, all right?

1494
01:31:23.460 --> 01:31:24.800
All right, awesome.

1495
01:31:24.840 --> 01:31:27.740
Hey, that's funny because I felt like I need,

1496
01:31:27.780 --> 01:31:30.800
I was like, I need to get a bride sash for my sister.

1497
01:31:31.420 --> 01:31:32.980
So maybe I'll buy two.

1498
01:31:33.460 --> 01:31:35.520
You should buy two, you should buy two.

1499
01:31:35.880 --> 01:31:38.420
And maybe still ask the Lord, is there anything else?

1500
01:31:38.460 --> 01:31:41.280
You know, I just think just really showering yourself

1501
01:31:41.280 --> 01:31:43.100
in this season, too, even though, you know,

1502
01:31:43.100 --> 01:31:45.560
you've got, you are feeling led to support your sister,

1503
01:31:45.680 --> 01:31:46.260
which is amazing.

1504
01:31:46.600 --> 01:31:49.860
But hey, shower yourself, too, with some bride gear.

1505
01:31:49.940 --> 01:31:51.000
I think it's great.

1506
01:31:51.360 --> 01:31:52.040
I love it.

1507
01:31:52.040 --> 01:31:54.200
And we would love to see you in the group

1508
01:31:54.200 --> 01:31:56.900
with your bride gear, if you're willing to take a photo

1509
01:31:56.900 --> 01:31:57.800
of it and share it.

1510
01:31:57.860 --> 01:31:59.440
We used to do that kind of stuff all the time

1511
01:31:59.440 --> 01:32:01.340
when I was going through this journey, ladies.

1512
01:32:02.020 --> 01:32:04.480
The more you show up, the more it creates that breakthrough

1513
01:32:04.480 --> 01:32:06.220
and your breakthrough is gonna create breakthrough

1514
01:32:06.220 --> 01:32:07.660
for other people, too, okay?

1515
01:32:09.160 --> 01:32:10.040
Yeah, amazing.

1516
01:32:10.500 --> 01:32:12.020
Okay, is it Chanmi?

1517
01:32:12.900 --> 01:32:13.980
Is that how you say it?

1518
01:32:13.980 --> 01:32:14.860
All right, go ahead.

1519
01:32:16.320 --> 01:32:20.180
So I'm in heart work week two and it says to share, so.

1520
01:32:20.500 --> 01:32:20.880
Okay.

1521
01:32:20.880 --> 01:32:23.600
I just like wrote whatever came to my mind.

1522
01:32:23.920 --> 01:32:27.800
It says, what are some lies your family

1523
01:32:27.800 --> 01:32:29.140
has passed down to you?

1524
01:32:29.140 --> 01:32:32.040
And I wrote like that it's up to me to save the family

1525
01:32:32.680 --> 01:32:35.260
because like my parents came as immigrants from Korea

1526
01:32:35.260 --> 01:32:37.320
and I was like raised here since I was seven.

1527
01:32:37.640 --> 01:32:39.420
And I just felt like the pressure

1528
01:32:39.420 --> 01:32:41.880
as like a firstborn daughter, I have a younger brother.

1529
01:32:42.800 --> 01:32:46.260
But this lie, I feel like led me to like hyper independence

1530
01:32:47.140 --> 01:32:50.060
and prioritizing career over building like a family.

1531
01:32:51.620 --> 01:32:54.220
And also my parents like don't have a good marriage

1532
01:32:54.220 --> 01:32:56.100
even though they're born again Christians.

1533
01:32:56.480 --> 01:33:00.000
And like my dad, like, you know,

1534
01:33:00.000 --> 01:33:01.540
he's like very involved in the church

1535
01:33:02.740 --> 01:33:06.580
and he's like, he prays, reads the Bible and all that.

1536
01:33:06.620 --> 01:33:09.220
Like, it's just like, to me, like growing up,

1537
01:33:09.260 --> 01:33:12.480
I guess it's like the contradiction of like,

1538
01:33:12.760 --> 01:33:15.300
isn't army, like, I know this world isn't perfect

1539
01:33:15.300 --> 01:33:19.420
and I know it's all broken and it's like all sin everywhere,

1540
01:33:19.800 --> 01:33:21.680
but, you know, isn't like family,

1541
01:33:22.100 --> 01:33:23.800
like the most important thing.

1542
01:33:24.180 --> 01:33:27.080
And just like from all the arguments

1543
01:33:27.300 --> 01:33:30.800
and like, just like having to like, you know,

1544
01:33:30.840 --> 01:33:34.300
like just like feeling like that pressure,

1545
01:33:34.320 --> 01:33:37.100
like just to like support them.

1546
01:33:37.280 --> 01:33:38.280
And, you know, just like, I just,

1547
01:33:39.440 --> 01:33:41.780
and I am really successful.

1548
01:33:41.920 --> 01:33:43.260
Like I became a nurse practitioner.

1549
01:33:43.260 --> 01:33:45.800
Like I moved like from the East coast to the West coast.

1550
01:33:46.000 --> 01:33:47.360
I bought a house like at 32.

1551
01:33:47.680 --> 01:33:51.080
And, you know, I just feel like I've done,

1552
01:33:51.340 --> 01:33:54.840
I've been trying and I'm just like,

1553
01:33:55.360 --> 01:33:57.440
how about like the family part?

1554
01:34:00.380 --> 01:34:00.720
Okay.

1555
01:34:01.680 --> 01:34:02.200
Yeah.

1556
01:34:02.400 --> 01:34:04.780
And like today I was like in prayer

1557
01:34:04.780 --> 01:34:08.700
and I just feel like that's what God's pressing on my heart

1558
01:34:09.140 --> 01:34:12.240
that like over success, over education,

1559
01:34:12.240 --> 01:34:15.760
like all the, you know, like titles behind my name.

1560
01:34:17.000 --> 01:34:21.780
And like, I feel like to me, I want a good marriage

1561
01:34:22.160 --> 01:34:25.160
and not having, not seeing that,

1562
01:34:25.160 --> 01:34:28.240
like being exampled and like prioritized,

1563
01:34:28.320 --> 01:34:31.320
like it's just really unfortunate.

1564
01:34:32.360 --> 01:34:35.580
And that's why I lost hope.

1565
01:34:35.640 --> 01:34:37.680
Like for me, I lost hope in marriage.

1566
01:34:39.160 --> 01:34:42.500
And when I talk about marriage to other people,

1567
01:34:42.900 --> 01:34:44.940
like what comes up and like what I say is like,

1568
01:34:44.980 --> 01:34:46.300
oh, I'm just really picky, you know?

1569
01:34:46.400 --> 01:34:48.600
I haven't met anyone with the same values as me

1570
01:34:48.740 --> 01:34:52.400
or like there's nobody I like and I can't trust anybody.

1571
01:34:52.580 --> 01:34:55.220
Like that's what, those are the things that I say.

1572
01:34:56.340 --> 01:34:58.500
So tell me, why can't you trust anybody?

1573
01:34:58.820 --> 01:34:59.720
Do you feel like you're,

1574
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.380
you can't trust your mom and dad?

1575
01:35:03.440 --> 01:35:05.340
Yeah, I don't think I can trust them.

1576
01:35:05.900 --> 01:35:06.760
Okay, tell me why.

1577
01:35:07.320 --> 01:35:08.900
I mean, other than the fact that you're saying

1578
01:35:08.900 --> 01:35:10.000
they don't have a good marriage,

1579
01:35:10.060 --> 01:35:11.280
it sounds like they argue.

1580
01:35:12.880 --> 01:35:15.620
Why do you feel like you can't trust them?

1581
01:35:20.480 --> 01:35:23.280
Because like when it comes to like monetary means,

1582
01:35:23.360 --> 01:35:26.200
I feel like because they're like elderly now,

1583
01:35:26.240 --> 01:35:28.260
I mean, not elderly, but they're, you know,

1584
01:35:28.260 --> 01:35:30.560
like above six, they're 65

1585
01:35:30.700 --> 01:35:33.100
and basically I'm their retirement package.

1586
01:35:33.940 --> 01:35:35.920
Like, I'm supporting them.

1587
01:35:36.100 --> 01:35:37.520
Have they told you that?

1588
01:35:37.800 --> 01:35:40.160
Or is this just something because of cultural

1589
01:35:40.160 --> 01:35:42.320
that you feel like you have to do?

1590
01:35:43.640 --> 01:35:46.860
No, yeah, yeah, basically, yes.

1591
01:35:47.040 --> 01:35:49.120
Like cultural, and I just feel like

1592
01:35:49.180 --> 01:35:51.480
if I'm not there to support them,

1593
01:35:52.160 --> 01:35:53.960
then I don't know what they'll do.

1594
01:35:54.740 --> 01:35:56.260
Have you ever talked to them about this?

1595
01:35:58.260 --> 01:36:01.420
Not like in a deep, deep way,

1596
01:36:01.420 --> 01:36:03.240
but I just feel like so obligated

1597
01:36:03.240 --> 01:36:06.760
to like be their support system, which I don't mind.

1598
01:36:09.260 --> 01:36:10.660
It's not bothersome.

1599
01:36:10.720 --> 01:36:13.460
Like, I feel like I'll be blessed if I honor them

1600
01:36:13.460 --> 01:36:15.600
and like support them and take care of them.

1601
01:36:15.700 --> 01:36:19.840
And also I do feel like God has blessed me this much

1602
01:36:19.840 --> 01:36:21.160
so that I could support them.

1603
01:36:22.400 --> 01:36:25.600
So I just feel like it's a big circle,

1604
01:36:25.780 --> 01:36:27.040
if that makes sense.

1605
01:36:27.040 --> 01:36:28.840
Like it's part of the plan.

1606
01:36:29.540 --> 01:36:32.080
Yeah, and I do think us loving our parents

1607
01:36:32.080 --> 01:36:33.800
and taking care of them is a good thing.

1608
01:36:33.860 --> 01:36:36.860
But I think the thing I'm concerned about

1609
01:36:36.860 --> 01:36:40.580
is you feel obligated to do so, okay, or pressure.

1610
01:36:40.640 --> 01:36:42.780
I'm hearing a lot of pressure

1611
01:36:42.780 --> 01:36:44.300
in things that you're communicating

1612
01:36:44.640 --> 01:36:47.080
and taking burdens on yourself

1613
01:36:48.040 --> 01:36:51.260
beyond maybe what is needed or intended.

1614
01:36:51.360 --> 01:36:52.480
So that's why I asked you,

1615
01:36:52.560 --> 01:36:54.640
have you ever talked to your parents about this?

1616
01:36:56.020 --> 01:36:58.460
Because I just be kind of curious

1617
01:36:58.460 --> 01:37:00.840
if you all just had an open conversation,

1618
01:37:02.160 --> 01:37:05.340
if maybe some of the expectations or pressure

1619
01:37:05.340 --> 01:37:07.720
that you're feeling is actually self-inflicted,

1620
01:37:09.660 --> 01:37:11.940
which I don't know everything you've been through

1621
01:37:11.940 --> 01:37:13.580
with your parents or things they've said

1622
01:37:13.580 --> 01:37:14.760
or any of those dynamics.

1623
01:37:14.920 --> 01:37:18.620
But I will tell you that my mother didn't have

1624
01:37:18.620 --> 01:37:20.340
a lot of money and neither did my dad.

1625
01:37:20.400 --> 01:37:24.060
And so definitely I've had to help provide for them

1626
01:37:24.060 --> 01:37:27.340
or do things when they were alive to care for them.

1627
01:37:27.580 --> 01:37:30.100
My mom, when I was 20 years old,

1628
01:37:30.120 --> 01:37:32.600
had an aneurysm and almost died.

1629
01:37:32.680 --> 01:37:34.440
And she did recover from that,

1630
01:37:34.480 --> 01:37:36.020
but was never the same after that.

1631
01:37:36.080 --> 01:37:37.520
She had a lot of disabilities and things.

1632
01:37:37.920 --> 01:37:41.520
And so I understand the burden of as a younger person,

1633
01:37:42.020 --> 01:37:44.540
because when that happened, I was only 20,

1634
01:37:44.620 --> 01:37:46.040
literally when that happened with my mom.

1635
01:37:46.700 --> 01:37:50.020
And so it can be a lot,

1636
01:37:50.500 --> 01:37:53.760
but we also sometimes take things on ourselves

1637
01:37:53.760 --> 01:37:55.300
that we don't have to take on.

1638
01:37:56.000 --> 01:37:59.700
And so I wanna encourage you to really pray about,

1639
01:38:00.180 --> 01:38:02.440
ask the Lord if this is something that you have

1640
01:38:02.440 --> 01:38:05.200
an open door, a green light to talk to your parents about.

1641
01:38:05.680 --> 01:38:08.300
If they're healthy enough to have that kind of conversation

1642
01:38:08.300 --> 01:38:10.460
and just be asking them about that.

1643
01:38:10.640 --> 01:38:17.200
And then also, I just sensed a lot of emotion coming up

1644
01:38:17.200 --> 01:38:20.580
when you were talking about your parents and the arguments.

1645
01:38:21.540 --> 01:38:25.940
And so I wanna encourage you as I encouraged,

1646
01:38:26.720 --> 01:38:30.620
I gotta look at Zio, to go ahead.

1647
01:38:31.140 --> 01:38:32.300
And in the welcome section,

1648
01:38:32.300 --> 01:38:34.420
there is the forgiveness prayer sheet.

1649
01:38:34.620 --> 01:38:37.740
I want you to get that out and pray

1650
01:38:37.740 --> 01:38:39.680
and start forgiving your parents

1651
01:38:39.680 --> 01:38:42.340
for the times that they've argued in front of you

1652
01:38:42.340 --> 01:38:45.160
or whatever it was that you were witnessing

1653
01:38:45.860 --> 01:38:47.400
that's caused you pain

1654
01:38:47.400 --> 01:38:50.580
and caused you to lose hope in marriage.

1655
01:38:52.320 --> 01:38:56.080
Unfortunately, broken people do broken things.

1656
01:38:57.240 --> 01:38:59.300
And so just because they're Christians

1657
01:38:59.420 --> 01:39:01.880
doesn't mean they know how to live

1658
01:39:01.880 --> 01:39:05.060
in a healthy dynamic as an individual.

1659
01:39:05.400 --> 01:39:07.600
And if they're not healthy as an individual,

1660
01:39:08.200 --> 01:39:10.780
they're gonna struggle to be healthy as a couple.

1661
01:39:12.220 --> 01:39:14.440
And so, I mean, there's Christians

1662
01:39:14.440 --> 01:39:17.100
that have lived their entire lives as Christians

1663
01:39:17.100 --> 01:39:18.420
that have never done something

1664
01:39:18.420 --> 01:39:19.980
like what y'all are doing right now,

1665
01:39:20.020 --> 01:39:21.960
like the heart work and got healing.

1666
01:39:22.220 --> 01:39:26.860
And we just, a lot of us, walk around just unhealthy

1667
01:39:26.880 --> 01:39:29.720
and we bump into everybody and we trigger,

1668
01:39:29.980 --> 01:39:30.960
all these things.

1669
01:39:31.240 --> 01:39:34.860
And so that you would pray and forgive them

1670
01:39:35.360 --> 01:39:38.420
and for their mistakes, whatever.

1671
01:39:38.760 --> 01:39:40.800
Again, when you write these forgiveness prayer sheets,

1672
01:39:40.940 --> 01:39:43.700
ladies, you wanna be specific, okay?

1673
01:39:44.160 --> 01:39:46.640
And so just go with whatever comes up now

1674
01:39:46.640 --> 01:39:48.560
and then if other stuff comes up in the future

1675
01:39:48.560 --> 01:39:50.820
regarding your parents as well, you can just do it then.

1676
01:39:51.760 --> 01:39:53.620
But go ahead and focus on that this week

1677
01:39:54.000 --> 01:39:59.800
and partner with what I was releasing over Jodi, you know?

1678
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.180
You are a bride, but you have to start partnering with that, as

1679
01:40:04.180 --> 01:40:06.740
well as healing from the fear of marriage.

1680
01:40:08.160 --> 01:40:08.600
Okay.

1681
01:40:08.660 --> 01:40:13.000
The fear that you can't have a good marriage because you haven't seen one

1682
01:40:13.000 --> 01:40:15.540
example for you from what it sounds like.

1683
01:40:16.380 --> 01:40:18.760
Um, and S and so I would encourage you ladies.

1684
01:40:18.880 --> 01:40:22.040
Hey, why can't we start praying and asking God to show us

1685
01:40:22.040 --> 01:40:23.520
healthy marriages around us?

1686
01:40:24.320 --> 01:40:26.580
God highlight healthy marriages around me.

1687
01:40:26.580 --> 01:40:29.640
Help me to start seeing good, good, healthy marriages so that I can

1688
01:40:29.640 --> 01:40:33.100
start to have my hope that that kind of fanned inside of me.

1689
01:40:33.420 --> 01:40:36.020
Let's start, let's start praying for that kind of stuff too.

1690
01:40:36.520 --> 01:40:36.800
Okay.

1691
01:40:37.340 --> 01:40:40.540
And I look forward to hearing more about what God's going to do in you

1692
01:40:40.540 --> 01:40:44.200
in the next couple of weeks, a way to go on week two.

1693
01:40:44.640 --> 01:40:46.160
Thanks so much for showing us.

1694
01:40:46.260 --> 01:40:47.620
Yeah, you're welcome.

1695
01:40:48.020 --> 01:40:49.220
Leslie, go ahead.

1696
01:40:52.460 --> 01:40:52.900
Okay.

1697
01:40:53.140 --> 01:40:53.580
Sorry.

1698
01:40:53.640 --> 01:40:54.520
I had to unmute.

1699
01:40:54.520 --> 01:40:55.920
That's all right.

1700
01:40:57.140 --> 01:41:01.200
So I was in a little bit this afternoon, but I was at work, so I couldn't stay on.

1701
01:41:02.880 --> 01:41:09.060
Um, the lie is that I won't be attractive to healthy men.

1702
01:41:10.200 --> 01:41:12.580
And so I was asking God where that came from.

1703
01:41:13.560 --> 01:41:18.540
And, uh, he brought me clear back to a memory of being a really young

1704
01:41:18.540 --> 01:41:22.280
girl, like five years old and playing with the neighbor boy.

1705
01:41:22.840 --> 01:41:29.200
And one day I came home and he was there to play with me and I was in a dress.

1706
01:41:29.320 --> 01:41:33.320
And he said to my mom, well, I didn't know that boys were dresses.

1707
01:41:34.000 --> 01:41:36.260
And my mom said, well, she's not a boy.

1708
01:41:36.340 --> 01:41:37.300
She's a little girl.

1709
01:41:37.300 --> 01:41:40.080
And he ran home and never played with me again.

1710
01:41:41.860 --> 01:41:44.860
And then, um, he brought me to another memory.

1711
01:41:44.860 --> 01:41:46.180
I'm in McDonald's.

1712
01:41:46.180 --> 01:41:48.480
I'm a little bit older, but not much.

1713
01:41:49.120 --> 01:41:51.660
And I, maybe I'm 10.

1714
01:41:51.660 --> 01:41:56.200
I hear them talking about me talking about how handsome I am.

1715
01:41:57.800 --> 01:42:02.120
And again, related to, uh, me looking like a boy.

1716
01:42:02.600 --> 01:42:09.020
And so I think that just, you know, somehow I, I guess Satan used that and,

1717
01:42:09.880 --> 01:42:12.960
you know, kind of, I guess I partnered with that.

1718
01:42:13.120 --> 01:42:15.980
So now I'm trying to come out of agreement with that.

1719
01:42:17.020 --> 01:42:17.620
Okay.

1720
01:42:17.860 --> 01:42:19.440
Thank you for sharing that.

1721
01:42:19.440 --> 01:42:24.680
Um, I know I just talked about forgiveness, prayer sheep, but even though he was a

1722
01:42:24.680 --> 01:42:27.660
little boy and he didn't know any better, I want to encourage you to forgive that

1723
01:42:27.660 --> 01:42:31.140
little boy for saying that and for choosing to never play with you again.

1724
01:42:31.700 --> 01:42:32.180
Okay.

1725
01:42:32.740 --> 01:42:35.560
Um, you know, we don't know why he did it.

1726
01:42:35.560 --> 01:42:38.460
We don't know if his parents didn't want him playing with a little girl.

1727
01:42:38.580 --> 01:42:42.700
We, you know, we, we don't know what happened there, but it's so wounded you.

1728
01:42:42.760 --> 01:42:48.460
And so forgiving him and forgiving those people that mistook you for a boy, just,

1729
01:42:48.460 --> 01:42:50.920
you know, do a separate sheet for both of them, right?

1730
01:42:51.040 --> 01:42:52.540
Whatever comes up for you.

1731
01:42:53.320 --> 01:42:57.100
Um, and let's just see where this might lead you by forgiving those

1732
01:42:57.100 --> 01:42:59.340
people that mistook you for a boy.

1733
01:42:59.920 --> 01:43:05.500
Um, and then also I want to encourage you, um, you know, as you're praying

1734
01:43:05.600 --> 01:43:11.460
about this, like, what are the ways that you partnered with it, that God, as

1735
01:43:11.460 --> 01:43:15.780
your God is leading you to come out of that, how does God want you to activate

1736
01:43:15.780 --> 01:43:17.840
the divine feminine back in yourself?

1737
01:43:18.940 --> 01:43:19.300
Okay.

1738
01:43:19.680 --> 01:43:22.660
So what are some things that God is wanting you to do to

1739
01:43:22.720 --> 01:43:24.880
partner with your femininity?

1740
01:43:25.860 --> 01:43:26.220
Okay.

1741
01:43:28.220 --> 01:43:30.660
And I want, I don't want to give you ideas tonight.

1742
01:43:30.660 --> 01:43:32.260
Cause I want you to pray about it.

1743
01:43:32.260 --> 01:43:36.040
And even if you have a hard time, if you pray and you're like, I don't know, go

1744
01:43:36.040 --> 01:43:39.680
ahead and come in the group and say, Hey, I'm praying, but I don't, I just am not

1745
01:43:39.720 --> 01:43:41.320
hearing anything or I don't know.

1746
01:43:41.480 --> 01:43:46.140
And then we can go from there, but I really want you to pray first and just

1747
01:43:46.140 --> 01:43:48.240
what God shows you to do.

1748
01:43:50.000 --> 01:43:53.300
Um, something maybe down a little bit different path.

1749
01:43:53.340 --> 01:43:59.740
I remember you saying that when you were practicing one time, a long time ago, you

1750
01:43:59.740 --> 01:44:01.420
looking men in the eyes.

1751
01:44:01.480 --> 01:44:06.740
And I so resonated with that because if, if I feel like a guy is on the same level

1752
01:44:06.740 --> 01:44:10.520
with me, I have hard time keeping that eye contact, you know?

1753
01:44:11.740 --> 01:44:14.640
Um, so that can be kind of part of that.

1754
01:44:14.660 --> 01:44:15.080
Yes.

1755
01:44:15.220 --> 01:44:15.580
Yeah.

1756
01:44:16.400 --> 01:44:16.880
Yes.

1757
01:44:16.980 --> 01:44:21.440
You allowing yourself to be seen and not feeling like you can't keep eye contact

1758
01:44:21.440 --> 01:44:21.960
for sure.

1759
01:44:21.960 --> 01:44:25.440
Ladies, you all should start practicing looking guys in the eyes.

1760
01:44:25.500 --> 01:44:26.500
You don't have to flirt with them.

1761
01:44:26.700 --> 01:44:31.220
Remember, we're not trying to pick them up, but you can just smile at someone and

1762
01:44:31.220 --> 01:44:37.200
acknowledge them and keep, I like make eye contact and start practicing thinking good

1763
01:44:37.200 --> 01:44:37.420
things.

1764
01:44:37.520 --> 01:44:37.960
Okay.

1765
01:44:37.960 --> 01:44:40.520
About yourself and men in general.

1766
01:44:41.120 --> 01:44:45.520
Um, but yeah, definitely partnering with the divine feminine is going to be a big

1767
01:44:45.520 --> 01:44:51.660
thing for you, Leslie, because the enemy was trying to crush that part of you, even

1768
01:44:51.660 --> 01:44:53.620
as a little girl, you see.

1769
01:44:53.920 --> 01:44:57.340
And so the more that you partner with that, the more freedom I think you're going to

1770
01:44:57.340 --> 01:44:59.980
get from this thing, but forgiving those people is going to be a part.

1771
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.440
that for sure. Can you tell me what those sheets were again? Yeah, the forgiveness prayer sheet

1772
01:45:05.440 --> 01:45:14.140
is in the welcome section of the app. And it's also in week four. Okay, thank you. You're welcome.

1773
01:45:14.600 --> 01:45:19.520
And ladies, I feel like a couple more people put their hands up, but I'm only going to be able to

1774
01:45:19.520 --> 01:45:23.180
do the people that already had their hands up when I said I would go a little bit longer. Okay,

1775
01:45:23.180 --> 01:45:32.360
so I had only saw, um, Chanmi, Leslie, and Karen, and I feel like there's maybe one more, but

1776
01:45:32.760 --> 01:45:37.820
I am going to have to close this up right after Karen. Okay. All right, Karen, go ahead.

1777
01:45:49.160 --> 01:45:54.860
You're muted. She's trying to work on it. It's okay.

1778
01:45:55.080 --> 01:46:09.040
Okay. If you tap on the bottom of your screen, do you see where it says audio, Karen?

1779
01:46:22.000 --> 01:46:26.000
I don't know if we lost her now. Sometimes people get really nervous,

1780
01:46:26.500 --> 01:46:34.500
y'all, especially if they've never shared. She's trying to figure it out.

1781
01:46:36.680 --> 01:46:41.560
Okay. So if you tap, if you can hear me, if you tap on the bottom of your screen,

1782
01:46:42.440 --> 01:46:46.060
um, there should be an audio button. It looks like a little microphone,

1783
01:46:46.940 --> 01:46:50.880
or that could be under more if it's not right there on your screen.

1784
01:47:02.560 --> 01:47:08.300
Nope. All right. I don't think she's gonna be able to figure it out.

1785
01:47:12.020 --> 01:47:16.680
All right, Karen, I'm gonna go ahead. Can you put it in the group for me? If you go in the

1786
01:47:17.240 --> 01:47:21.160
in the tab, will you share with me in there? And then I can coach you through it.

1787
01:47:21.260 --> 01:47:25.580
Just tell me everything that you would have shared, um, verbally, and then I can help you

1788
01:47:25.580 --> 01:47:30.080
process it over in the group. Okay. I'm going to be in there right after I jump off here tonight.

1789
01:47:30.080 --> 01:47:34.880
So if you come in and do the post, I'll be able to answer you tonight. Okay. All right. And same

1790
01:47:34.880 --> 01:47:40.900
thing for Ada and or Ada. I'm not sure if I said that right. I think I saw Susan's hand was up at

1791
01:47:40.900 --> 01:47:48.400
one point and I feel like Jockabed. Maybe did I see that? If, if you all will come into the group,

1792
01:47:48.400 --> 01:47:53.060
I'll do my best to answer you either tonight or first thing in the morning tomorrow. Okay.

1793
01:47:53.400 --> 01:47:58.160
I love you ladies. This has been really awesome. And I'm so glad that you're here tonight.

1794
01:47:58.220 --> 01:48:04.680
I'm going to pray us out. Father, thank you so much for your goodness, for your truth. God,

1795
01:48:04.680 --> 01:48:11.760
thank you for just redeeming our timelines. God, for restoring all the locusts has eaten and the

1796
01:48:11.760 --> 01:48:17.140
moth has destroyed. God, I thank you that nothing is too hard for you, that you are mighty. God,

1797
01:48:17.140 --> 01:48:22.420
that you are the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. God, we thank you that you call us by name.

1798
01:48:23.160 --> 01:48:27.520
God, that your eyes are upon us and they're looking at us with love in your heart.

1799
01:48:28.100 --> 01:48:32.760
God, I thank you that your word declares that you rejoice over us with singing. God, I thank you

1800
01:48:32.760 --> 01:48:36.540
that you celebrate us. And I thank you that you would help us to receive that truth as your

1801
01:48:36.600 --> 01:48:42.020
daughters. God, I thank you that tonight you'll help us to walk away from this session, really

1802
01:48:42.120 --> 01:48:47.160
understanding that we don't have to fear. We don't have to be afraid because you are with us. Help us

1803
01:48:47.360 --> 01:48:54.160
to become more rooted and grounded in your love more and more every day in Jesus name. Amen you

1804
01:48:54.180 --> 01:49:01.460
all. Oh, it's, you just got it to work. Yeah. You know, I was, I'm so sorry. I didn't. It's okay.

1805
01:49:01.460 --> 01:49:06.680
I realized what I did now. I was, I, when I was on the screen where I could see everybody on my

1806
01:49:06.680 --> 01:49:12.500
iPhone and I had to swipe it back to where it was just me, because it wouldn't show it. So

1807
01:49:12.700 --> 01:49:19.060
I'm sorry. Do you have time still? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. All right. Thank you for taking my call. So

1808
01:49:19.060 --> 01:49:26.760
I really, okay. So I really feel like the enemy is coming against me with the lie that I haven't

1809
01:49:27.820 --> 01:49:33.700
changed, that I haven't made any progress because if I get emotional, it's because I am just

1810
01:49:33.700 --> 01:49:39.580
emotional, but, but this is like, so I mentioned in the chat earlier, you know, that I kind of got

1811
01:49:39.580 --> 01:49:46.320
myself into, I'm stressing about finances and I kind of feel like I got a little bit of a break,

1812
01:49:46.420 --> 01:49:51.240
like a little aha moment just even on this call, but I think that you'll have more insight. So I

1813
01:49:51.240 --> 01:49:59.900
want to share because, you know, I think it stems back to where I was when I was married.

1814
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.300
you much younger. And I had good credit that was raised it, you

1815
01:50:05.300 --> 01:50:08.140
know, my family didn't have any money growing up. So we lived

1816
01:50:08.140 --> 01:50:11.720
very, very tight. But they did teach me to always make sure you

1817
01:50:11.720 --> 01:50:14.480
only spend what you can pay off and blah, blah, blah. And I did

1818
01:50:14.480 --> 01:50:19.120
that for years. And my very first, well, it's my second

1819
01:50:19.280 --> 01:50:21.700
serious relationship with the man that I ended up marrying.

1820
01:50:22.820 --> 01:50:28.580
He knew that I had good credit, and he did not. And so he really

1821
01:50:28.580 --> 01:50:33.840
did take advantage of me. Because he wanted to have all

1822
01:50:33.840 --> 01:50:36.820
these things. And I was young and insecure. And I didn't know.

1823
01:50:37.040 --> 01:50:40.500
So I just let him use my credit to buy all these things. Well,

1824
01:50:40.500 --> 01:50:46.900
anyways, long story short, our marriage didn't work. And so he

1825
01:50:46.900 --> 01:50:51.720
did not keep up his end of the divorce decree where he was

1826
01:50:51.720 --> 01:50:55.480
supposed to refinance our house so that that was his

1827
01:50:55.540 --> 01:50:58.560
responsibility to refinance. Well, he didn't. And then a

1828
01:50:58.560 --> 01:51:02.960
few years later, the creditors started coming against me. And

1829
01:51:02.960 --> 01:51:06.160
my only way to get free from that was to file bankruptcy. So

1830
01:51:06.360 --> 01:51:10.260
there was my credit was destroyed for years, but I did

1831
01:51:10.260 --> 01:51:14.180
get out of it. But I still continued to live in this, this

1832
01:51:14.180 --> 01:51:18.460
kind of debt cycle, right? It was like I picked up like really

1833
01:51:19.260 --> 01:51:22.880
bad financial habits from him for years. So I was always

1834
01:51:22.880 --> 01:51:25.580
having to live with people and all these things. It was just I

1835
01:51:25.580 --> 01:51:30.160
did own a home for eight years, but I had a ton of debt in order

1836
01:51:30.160 --> 01:51:33.960
to have that home. And so the Lord called me out of that I

1837
01:51:33.960 --> 01:51:36.680
sold my home and I had to move back in with I chose to move

1838
01:51:36.680 --> 01:51:40.900
back in with my sister. And anyway, so it was this whole

1839
01:51:40.900 --> 01:51:45.160
thing. So anyways, during COVID, I really had the opportunity to

1840
01:51:45.160 --> 01:51:49.800
get out of debt. And so since 2020, I got out of like $10,000

1841
01:51:49.800 --> 01:51:55.520
of debt in that year. And then I really did a lot of healing

1842
01:51:55.520 --> 01:51:58.320
work through other things through different programs. And

1843
01:51:58.320 --> 01:52:02.740
I really felt like I did. Well, this past year, I ended up

1844
01:52:02.740 --> 01:52:08.020
getting myself back into debt again. And I, some of it, a lot

1845
01:52:08.020 --> 01:52:11.960
of it was not my fault. But then some of it was just bad choices.

1846
01:52:11.960 --> 01:52:16.620
And I really feel like the enemy is now telling me see, you never

1847
01:52:16.620 --> 01:52:20.060
changed, you know, you didn't learn anything. And, and I know

1848
01:52:20.060 --> 01:52:23.700
that I can't go into relationship with debt, because

1849
01:52:23.700 --> 01:52:25.860
I don't want to be in relationship with somebody else

1850
01:52:25.860 --> 01:52:28.540
is in debt. So how can I be that, you know, so like, it's

1851
01:52:28.540 --> 01:52:32.780
just this horrible thing. And so I think he's using my financial

1852
01:52:32.900 --> 01:52:36.640
situation to make me feel like nothing's changed, and nothing's

1853
01:52:36.640 --> 01:52:41.020
ever gonna change. And so there's a lot of fear around

1854
01:52:40.960 --> 01:52:46.620
that. So I think number one, let's look at what triggered you

1855
01:52:46.620 --> 01:52:50.260
to go back into debt. Okay, let's look at that. Well, it

1856
01:52:50.260 --> 01:52:55.220
was, um, so it was taxes. Last year, I wasn't prepared for the

1857
01:52:55.960 --> 01:53:00.860
taxes that I owed. And so I had to borrow the money. And then my

1858
01:53:01.340 --> 01:53:06.720
sister got married. And it was a very quick decision to get

1859
01:53:06.440 --> 01:53:09.920
married. And it was in Hawaii. And I didn't want to miss my

1860
01:53:10.100 --> 01:53:13.620
sister's wedding. So then I had to borrow money there. And then

1861
01:53:13.640 --> 01:53:19.140
I had to get my license, my driver's license renewed. And my

1862
01:53:19.140 --> 01:53:23.260
doctor at the time told me that he couldn't get my prescription

1863
01:53:24.620 --> 01:53:29.380
good enough with soft contacts to where I wouldn't have to have

1864
01:53:29.380 --> 01:53:31.720
a restriction on my driver's license to not be able to drive

1865
01:53:31.720 --> 01:53:34.840
at night. So I went to see a different eye doctor

1866
01:53:35.100 --> 01:53:40.060
specialist. And she was able to get me fitted for hard contacts.

1867
01:53:40.500 --> 01:53:45.800
But they were like $1,600. So then I had to borrow money for

1868
01:53:45.800 --> 01:53:50.040
that. And it was just like one thing after the next after the

1869
01:53:49.980 --> 01:53:55.180
next, that I had to just keep borrowing money, you know, and

1870
01:53:55.180 --> 01:53:59.840
then I think I just and then some. So then I did do. And then

1871
01:54:00.000 --> 01:54:05.320
then my job, my second job that I have, because I can't afford

1872
01:54:05.320 --> 01:54:10.120
to live off of what my just one job, you know, so I have a

1873
01:54:10.120 --> 01:54:12.320
second job that I had to get a new job when I moved into my

1874
01:54:12.320 --> 01:54:17.040
apartment that I'm in now. And I have scoliosis, I have rods in

1875
01:54:17.040 --> 01:54:21.740
my back. And I've never had back troubles ever, you know, for 30

1876
01:54:21.740 --> 01:54:25.240
years or whatever, right, until I had to take this new job

1877
01:54:25.240 --> 01:54:28.700
waiting tables. And I had to start carrying these big trays.

1878
01:54:29.300 --> 01:54:32.680
And so all of a sudden, my back started causing me all of these

1879
01:54:32.620 --> 01:54:36.840
problems. So then I had to go see a chiropractor. And that

1880
01:54:36.840 --> 01:54:41.980
cost me $1,700. So like the money just keeps adding up and

1881
01:54:41.980 --> 01:54:48.200
adding up and adding up. And I just so anyways, so now I'm just

1882
01:54:48.600 --> 01:54:51.840
like, yeah, terrified. And so then I had this really big bill

1883
01:54:51.840 --> 01:54:55.620
is that's due tomorrow, which I was able to pay. But, you know,

1884
01:54:55.620 --> 01:54:59.180
I was believing the Lord he would provide and I was just

1885
01:54:59.180 --> 01:54:59.980
like, well, maybe I'll just get

1886
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:05.000
Really big tip and I worked at two doubles in a row and I did what I could it wasn't like I was just sitting

1887
01:55:05.000 --> 01:55:10.280
Around praying for God drop money in my lap, but I still was like four hundred dollars short

1888
01:55:10.840 --> 01:55:16.240
And I had a friend from my restaurant reach out to me privately and she said, you know, what do you need?

1889
01:55:16.340 --> 01:55:18.060
I'll help you if you need money

1890
01:55:18.200 --> 01:55:24.520
So I did end up borrowing the money, but then that brings me shame and embarrassment that I had to borrow money

1891
01:55:25.000 --> 01:55:26.360
It's just no

1892
01:55:26.880 --> 01:55:27.100
I

1893
01:55:27.500 --> 01:55:33.260
Want to pull out something that and I understand why you're saying this. I want you to feel really supported

1894
01:55:33.300 --> 01:55:35.320
I do think that you can

1895
01:55:36.520 --> 01:55:43.440
Overcome this and overcome it for good. Um, I don't think anybody is ever too far gone Karen

1896
01:55:44.200 --> 01:55:45.560
okay, and

1897
01:55:45.740 --> 01:55:49.620
You know again, I'm not trying to oversimplify things ladies

1898
01:55:49.620 --> 01:55:54.400
But it's really important for us to really look at how we're processing things

1899
01:55:55.140 --> 01:55:58.800
One of the things that you said a lot tonight is I had to I

1900
01:55:59.640 --> 01:56:05.580
Had to I had to and some of those situations. I like yeah, what are you gonna do when you're in a medical situation, right?

1901
01:56:06.960 --> 01:56:09.160
Sometimes you do feel backed in a corner

1902
01:56:09.420 --> 01:56:16.900
But we have to be careful with partnering with I had to I had to I have to because we can even carry that

1903
01:56:16.980 --> 01:56:18.760
into relationships, right I

1904
01:56:19.640 --> 01:56:26.060
I had to keep dating him. I like I did the same thing dating the my spiritual daughter's dad. I

1905
01:56:26.440 --> 01:56:32.500
Literally told myself that I couldn't leave him because he was gonna take the girls from me because I went through that trauma

1906
01:56:33.100 --> 01:56:35.820
With my ex-husband. He took my stepson

1907
01:56:35.820 --> 01:56:39.620
It literally took him away from me as soon as I like moved out

1908
01:56:39.620 --> 01:56:44.100
Like I he just wouldn't let me see him anymore and I haven't seen him since he was 10 years old

1909
01:56:44.100 --> 01:56:46.380
And that's a true story so

1910
01:56:46.380 --> 01:56:54.080
You know our the reason I asked you what triggered the spending which you told me what you spent money on

1911
01:56:54.080 --> 01:57:02.400
But you you didn't really mention what triggered it except for you started with the taxes and I think what happened is that

1912
01:57:02.400 --> 01:57:07.220
The taxes situation I think is the trigger point. I think and

1913
01:57:08.420 --> 01:57:13.300
As soon as that happened, I believe that you started partnering then with

1914
01:57:13.300 --> 01:57:15.100
Here I go again

1915
01:57:16.680 --> 01:57:23.660
Okay, and then it created this snowball of stuff and I understand wanting to be at your sister's wedding

1916
01:57:25.260 --> 01:57:29.180
You know, I want to I want to pose something to you ladies that

1917
01:57:29.940 --> 01:57:34.300
sometimes we might have to miss out on things and

1918
01:57:34.300 --> 01:57:35.580
I know that sucks

1919
01:57:35.700 --> 01:57:41.280
But when we need to save money and we need to like we don't want to keep going into that

1920
01:57:41.800 --> 01:57:47.020
And and we all struggle with this don't we in our society today, you know

1921
01:57:47.020 --> 01:57:52.760
There's all kinds of things we can spend our money on but um, I don't want you to live in guilt or shame

1922
01:57:52.760 --> 01:58:00.840
Okay, you can't go back. You can't change it. All you can do is move forward. And so I want to encourage you to

1923
01:58:01.500 --> 01:58:06.260
Ask the Lord to help you come out of alignment with I had to

1924
01:58:06.260 --> 01:58:12.500
To I was presented with a decision and I made a decision

1925
01:58:12.720 --> 01:58:17.420
okay, I was presented with options and I made a decision because

1926
01:58:18.200 --> 01:58:23.840
What's happening is as you were talking I could feel your panic growing

1927
01:58:24.560 --> 01:58:32.160
Okay, and the reason that's growing is not just because of the fear it is because of that

1928
01:58:32.160 --> 01:58:37.380
But it's also because every time you added another thing and you shared with us

1929
01:58:37.380 --> 01:58:43.220
You were losing your power and your ownership more and more so like you're powerless

1930
01:58:43.500 --> 01:58:49.160
To all of this and while it is overwhelming. I'm not saying it's easy

1931
01:58:49.160 --> 01:58:54.600
I'm not saying that I mean you got hit with one thing after another after another that's a lot

1932
01:58:54.940 --> 01:58:55.620
but

1933
01:58:55.900 --> 01:58:59.280
When we let go of all of our power

1934
01:58:59.280 --> 01:59:04.180
It just builds and builds and builds that we have no control

1935
01:59:04.820 --> 01:59:06.420
Does that make sense?

1936
01:59:07.000 --> 01:59:08.040
and so

1937
01:59:08.680 --> 01:59:15.200
Again, this isn't so that you feel shame. I believe you can come out of this genuinely and learn what?

1938
01:59:16.020 --> 01:59:20.000
what is the things that trigger you to start down that cycle and

1939
01:59:21.420 --> 01:59:28.580
I believe it can tie back to the pain because where you started tonight was what this X did to you. Mm-hmm

1940
01:59:28.580 --> 01:59:32.480
So forgiving him even if you've already processed it before

1941
01:59:33.500 --> 01:59:34.820
for you know

1942
01:59:36.280 --> 01:59:41.200
Choosing to do things and not pay and not keep his end of the bargain essentially

1943
01:59:41.580 --> 01:59:46.540
you know and his commitment in his word and forgiving him of those things and

1944
01:59:47.460 --> 01:59:48.060
really

1945
01:59:48.580 --> 01:59:51.380
partnering with the Lord and in the truth that

1946
01:59:53.580 --> 01:59:56.180
Like what I what I used to feel like

1947
01:59:56.640 --> 01:59:59.060
Karen is I used to feel like I had a hole in my pocket

1948
02:00:01.080 --> 02:00:06.180
Like I would make money and I would feel like stuff would keep happening, kind of like what

1949
02:00:06.180 --> 02:00:07.140
you're talking about.

1950
02:00:07.420 --> 02:00:10.300
And I would feel like, Oh my God, I just keep working.

1951
02:00:10.360 --> 02:00:12.200
And I had multiple jobs like you did too.

1952
02:00:12.280 --> 02:00:16.580
When I went through my separation and divorce, I always worked two jobs for years, you all.

1953
02:00:17.200 --> 02:00:21.720
And even a couple of years ago, I was working like for four different people because I wanted

1954
02:00:21.720 --> 02:00:24.020
to get out of my full-time job and step into coaching.

1955
02:00:24.020 --> 02:00:27.500
And it was, it was like a little crazy, but you all, I did it.

1956
02:00:27.500 --> 02:00:28.380
I did it.

1957
02:00:28.440 --> 02:00:33.840
And I kept my head, like, like I kept my head, my eyes up, focused on the Lord, like, God,

1958
02:00:34.040 --> 02:00:36.080
you have freedom and breakthrough for me.

1959
02:00:36.120 --> 02:00:41.280
The more the Lord healed my heart, the more I learned to become a healthier steward of

1960
02:00:41.280 --> 02:00:48.300
what he was giving me and to not get triggered by things that would lead me to spend

1961
02:00:48.300 --> 02:00:48.700
money.

1962
02:00:49.560 --> 02:00:50.080
Okay.

1963
02:00:50.080 --> 02:00:58.000
So for example, the, the really, the only one that I see out of that was the sister

1964
02:00:58.000 --> 02:00:59.780
getting married, you know?

1965
02:00:59.840 --> 02:01:02.480
And, and I mean, I wouldn't want to miss that either.

1966
02:01:02.620 --> 02:01:08.320
So I relate to you in that, but they chose to go to Hawaii.

1967
02:01:09.780 --> 02:01:16.500
And if you couldn't afford it, being okay with saying, I can't afford this right now.

1968
02:01:17.040 --> 02:01:17.600
Yeah.

1969
02:01:17.600 --> 02:01:19.960
I think she was expecting me actually not to go.

1970
02:01:20.280 --> 02:01:25.220
I think it surprised her that I did go, but I was like, cause she knows, you know, that

1971
02:01:25.220 --> 02:01:29.060
I was trying, you know, I managed to stay out of that for four years, you know?

1972
02:01:29.060 --> 02:01:33.200
And so I think she was just kind of, she knew that I didn't want to get back into it.

1973
02:01:33.200 --> 02:01:35.340
And she's like, I understand if you can't go blah, blah.

1974
02:01:35.860 --> 02:01:40.440
So it was on me that I chose to go, but I just didn't, obviously I couldn't foresee

1975
02:01:40.440 --> 02:01:42.740
all of the other things that happened after that.

1976
02:01:42.800 --> 02:01:45.120
So I just looked at it as, well, no big deal.

1977
02:01:45.120 --> 02:01:46.760
I'll just pick up some extra shifts.

1978
02:01:46.760 --> 02:01:52.260
I'll get it paid off, you know, and it just didn't happen, you know?

1979
02:01:53.140 --> 02:01:53.360
Yeah.

1980
02:01:53.540 --> 02:01:58.580
So I want to encourage you that I am in the best financial position

1981
02:01:58.580 --> 02:02:00.020
I've ever been in, in my life.

1982
02:02:00.320 --> 02:02:07.500
And it just took me praying, healing, growing, getting around other people that

1983
02:02:07.500 --> 02:02:12.040
knew how to handle money well, and really continuing to learn from them and

1984
02:02:12.040 --> 02:02:16.520
understanding that God's grace is available to me no matter how

1985
02:02:16.520 --> 02:02:17.920
many times I made mistakes.

1986
02:02:18.520 --> 02:02:18.760
Okay.

1987
02:02:20.340 --> 02:02:22.700
So you, you have changed.

1988
02:02:22.780 --> 02:02:24.040
I think that you have changed.

1989
02:02:24.160 --> 02:02:27.960
I think that you learn from the first time around and you're going to learn

1990
02:02:27.960 --> 02:02:30.380
some, some stuff from this time around too.

1991
02:02:30.760 --> 02:02:34.200
And, you know, maybe one day, I don't know, maybe you'll be coaching

1992
02:02:34.200 --> 02:02:35.740
people and helping them financially.

1993
02:02:35.740 --> 02:02:37.480
You just, you just never know.

1994
02:02:37.560 --> 02:02:41.320
I don't think God did this to you, but he can absolutely use it for your good.

1995
02:02:41.320 --> 02:02:42.640
And for the good of other people.

1996
02:02:42.760 --> 02:02:43.320
Okay.

1997
02:02:43.360 --> 02:02:48.520
So I want to encourage you to forgive yourself as well.

1998
02:02:49.080 --> 02:02:50.320
That's going to be key.

1999
02:02:50.720 --> 02:02:51.080
All right.

2000
02:02:51.840 --> 02:02:56.440
All right, ladies, I feel led to pray one more time just because, you know, I want

2001
02:02:56.480 --> 02:03:02.020
to bless Karen and just anybody else that we leave in a really good free feeling.

2002
02:03:02.020 --> 02:03:03.700
So father, thank you.

2003
02:03:04.140 --> 02:03:08.420
Thank you that you lift panic and fear and worry and dread off of us.

2004
02:03:08.420 --> 02:03:10.900
God, I thank you that you're the solution giver.

2005
02:03:11.740 --> 02:03:15.080
God, I thank you that not only do you give us the capacity and the ability

2006
02:03:15.100 --> 02:03:18.560
to create wealth, but you give us the ability to sustain it.

2007
02:03:19.060 --> 02:03:23.140
God, I thank you that it will come without painful toil as well.

2008
02:03:23.240 --> 02:03:25.080
Your word declares that that can be true.

2009
02:03:25.200 --> 02:03:30.180
So Lord, I speak that over Karen and anybody else here tonight, God, that you

2010
02:03:30.180 --> 02:03:35.100
would give them favor in everything they put their hand to, we ask for extra

2011
02:03:35.100 --> 02:03:36.600
tips for her in the days to come.

2012
02:03:36.600 --> 02:03:41.860
God, we thank you for, um, bringing restitution from the pain of the past

2013
02:03:41.860 --> 02:03:45.840
and the things that she worked hard to pay off and debts that weren't even hers.

2014
02:03:45.860 --> 02:03:48.900
So, or we just thank you, God, that you will bring an acceleration and a

2015
02:03:48.960 --> 02:03:53.180
healing, um, in every one of these ladies in, in, in every area of their

2016
02:03:53.180 --> 02:03:54.500
life, including their finances.

2017
02:03:54.500 --> 02:03:59.420
And we just praise you for, again, just being our provider, um, for leading us

2018
02:03:59.420 --> 02:04:03.340
into all truth and anointing us for all of our lives and walk and calling and

2019
02:04:03.340 --> 02:04:05.080
leading us deeper into Jesus today.

2020
02:04:05.080 --> 02:04:06.760
In Jesus name.

2021
02:04:07.180 --> 02:04:07.700
Amen.

2022
02:04:08.000 --> 02:04:09.200
Have a good night, ladies.

2023
02:04:09.640 --> 02:04:10.440
God bless you.

2024
02:04:10.680 --> 02:04:11.320
I'll see you all in the.

2025
02:04:11.840 --> 02:04:12.580
Thank you.