Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome.
We have some people logging in right now.
If you are joining us for the first time tonight, we'd love for you to put that in the chat
for me so that I know that you're new and we can welcome you.
Hi, Pamela.
Hi, ladies.
Those of you that are joining us again, maybe you've been here once, twice, a couple times,
so glad that you're joining us again this evening.
My name is Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the Master Harbor coaches here in our community.
And it's my pleasure to be here with all of you tonight to dive into the content God has
for us and to level up in our healing, if you will, to hear what heaven is saying over
us and to us, you know, as we go tonight.
And hopefully some of you have come expecting God to do something in your life personally
to help you gain a little bit more revelation and insight into things that are causing you
to subconsciously be stuck and potentially held back in certain areas of your life.
Again, if you're here joining us for the first time, if you've never been to a live session
before, and this is your first one, let me know in the chat so we can welcome you.
I want to make sure we give a shout out to our new ladies again, for all my ladies that
are joining back.
Welcome back.
We're so glad to have you here with us tonight.
I have a couple of housekeeping items for us to go through tonight.
As always, Supernatural Saturday replay.
If you haven't been able to watch that or hear that, definitely want to encourage you
all to build time into your week this week to check that out under the replay tab.
It is called Where Are You Pretending?
And I believe it's going to bring a lot of clarity to all of you in this season.
We all face areas of our lives where we might be avoiding something or we might be struggling
with hearing a lie and it's causing us to pretend or to partner with things that do
not align with what heaven's voice and heart is saying over us.
Again, I encourage you all to check that replay out.
For my first time ladies, hello Allie, Vanessa, let's see here, Katie, and iPhone.
Let us know who you are.
If you all can, when you log in, if you are able, if you click on your picture or around
your name, there's three dots that show up and then when you click on that, you can click
to rename your profile and that's how you can change your name.
Welcome back, like I said, to all of you that are rejoining us.
So glad to have you here with us.
A couple more housekeeping items.
As you all are in here in the heartwork, we really encourage you to practice coming out
of hiding.
One of the ways we do that is I always encourage you all to come on screen.
That's right.
We love seeing you on screen.
It's okay if you don't have makeup done.
It's okay if you're kind of weren't planning on that.
If you're really not able, we totally understand, but a lot of times what I have found since
I've been coaching in this program, that we have people that genuinely do not like to
see themselves on screen.
They don't like to allow other people to see them and so it's going to help some of you
to level up in your healing in that regard as well.
You're allowing yourself to be seen, known, heard, and loved, okay?
All right, so when you do that, you're also showing up for yourself, all right?
So it's not so much for us, even though I love to see you, truly, I love to see all
of your beautiful faces.
It is about you.
It's about showing up for yourself and really knowing your value in this world and in these
sessions in this group, in this community.
Heart posture as you go through heart healing, as well as the remainder of the phases of
our program, heart posture is key.
You guys, I can't say it enough.
You know, when you come in just being really open, no matter how much healing you've gone
through before, no matter how much counseling, coaching, maybe some of you are actually counselors
or coaches or ministry leaders, whatever your background is, that you would come in with
a completely open heart, teachable heart, a humble heart to hear what the Holy Spirit
is going to say to you.
The people that I have found that struggle the most are people that fly through the program
because they're just trying to get to the men, as well as people that just say, hey,
I've already heard all this, I've got this, and they just fly through as well.
You know, I believe in the Holy Spirit accelerating people's processes, totally.
But one of the things I said this afternoon, y'all, let's learn from the best, okay?
Jesus was the best, and Jesus had boundaries, okay?
So we make recommendations, we tell you what the best practice is, one week of content
per week.
If you go slower than that, that is fine, but we don't want you going faster than that.
Are we going to stop you and say, okay, you can never move forward?
No, of course, we're not going to do that, but we're going to ask you to really give
yourself your best shot ever, and to give yourself at least five weeks.
to process and unpack the things that are going to come up to the surface. And for those of you,
if you go through it and you're not feeling anything coming up to the surface, it is
probably because you've really pressed things down so far that you're numb. Okay, so it might
take you a little longer for things to come to the surface for revealing for healing.
Distractions are going to come your way, just like everybody else. As you go through this
process, you might have kids having needs out of nowhere, X is popping up, like,
how did this person circle back right in the time I'm entering heartwork? Yep,
it happens all the time. That doesn't necessarily mean that person is sent by the Lord. Okay,
I'm not saying there aren't times on occasion that things come full circle, but even if they did,
that person should be different. Okay, they should be different and they should wait until
you finish with the heartwork. Yep, that's right. We're going to ask you to wait until you're
finished with the heartwork. And we're going to ask you to be like, hey, I'm really doing something
awesome. I'm investing in my heart healing during this time. So I'm not on any dating apps. I'm not
going on dates with anybody. And even though we've dated before, I'm not going to date you right now
because I'm taking care of me. Yes, that's right. I'm giving you all verbiage on what you can say
exactly if these things start popping up for you. You might also have distractions popping up at
work or other places. Ladies, you matter. Okay, more than ever before. We need you to really hear
what I'm saying. You matter. Your heart healing matters. Stay focused, keep going and don't give
up. Remember, you're putting one foot in front of the other. So every day, just do the next best
thing in your heart healing process. And I promise you're going to make it through. Okay. All right,
let me pray for us. And then we're going to dive into the content again. So glad you're here with
us. If you're new for the first time, be sure to put that in the chat for us. And we will welcome
you ladies returning. Welcome back. Father, thank you so much for this night. God, we thank you that
God, nothing is too hard for you, God, that you redefine our understanding, the revelation of how
we see the world, how we experience you, God, as well as other people. We ask you to bring
revealings for healing God, one after the other after the other tonight. We thank you, God, that
you bring things out of darkness into the light. God, let there be a illumination supernaturally
happening throughout this session, God, that people would experience you first and foremost,
that your presence would be right in their homes, God, that they would have a tangible experience
with you. God, we thank you that you would open blinded eyes, that you would help us to see what
we can't see, God, so that we can have breakthrough tonight, not a week from now, but tonight, God,
that shifting and changes would start to happen, just like tectonic shifts happen underneath
the surface, where we believe you're doing things in the supernatural realm underneath the surface,
God, so help us to receive everything you have for us. Holy Spirit, thanks for being here
and being our guide and our counselor and our comforter every step of the way. In Jesus name,
amen. Ladies, tonight we're talking about overcoming fear and anxiety. We're going to
a couple other things along the way as the Lord has led me to them as I prepared for the sessions
today, but first and foremost, I just want to talk to you about your hearts and how highly
impressionable they are. I want you to think about the fact that everything that you hear,
everything that you see, everything that you allow to enter your heart, as we've talked about
in the past, everything that goes into our hearts is reproduced, okay? So if we are allowing things
to go into our hearts that are causing us to have more fear, have more anxiety, more panic,
y'all, it's just going to continue to increase that versus, I want to encourage you during this
time, I've even had ladies, this I believe might be for someone, I'm not saying this is for everyone,
but we have had ladies literally move their TV out of their main room during the time of
literally to make it unaccessible to watch TV and it really helped them to create the space
to hear everything that the Lord was saying because some of us, myself included, I don't
know if y'all ever do this, but when I get overwhelmed, sometimes I find that I binge watch.
I binge watch TV. I unplug. I escape into a fake world. Anybody else ever done that?
Yeah. And so some of us, we need to really understand that when we feel that pressure,
we might need to get rid of that go-to for us. Yeah. Scrolling on Facebook or social media,
that's a huge one. It's so easy for us. Y'all, sometimes I literally, because I'm on there for
work, I'll find myself scrolling and I'm like, why am I even looking at this right now? I actually
was getting on here to look at something I actually like literally needed to look at.
So let's pay attention to those things as well.
But also I want to encourage you regarding movies, shows, news, y'all.
We talked about the news a little bit this afternoon, not in depth, but if you
have high anxiety, I really want to encourage you to, um, not watch the news.
Okay.
You can get your information another way.
The news is unindated with death, panic, fear, dread, like destruction.
They're, you know, it's just, it's not going to serve you well.
And especially when all kinds of stuff is going to get stirred up in your spirit.
I need you all to understand.
You need to be on guard.
Hey, you, we are the ones in charge of guard, guarding our hearts and
our minds through Christ Jesus.
Okay.
God can do that for us, but we have to take an active role and
participate with him in that process.
Proverbs 4 23 in the ESV version says, keep your heart with all vigilance for
from it flows the springs of life.
Vigilance actually means the quality or state of being vigilant.
Vigilant actually means alertly watchful to avoid danger.
So I want you to think about the last, you know, 24 hours, how alert and watch
watchful were you regarding what went into your heart, what went into your spirit?
I want you just to genuinely think about that.
And we all struggle at times to, we start our day and maybe we're like a quarter
way through the day, halfway through the day, sometimes heck all the way through
the day, and then we realize we've been following the enemy down a trail that
has nothing to do with what heaven is saying over us, anyone else ever done that?
Your mind is caught up in fear and anxiety and panic, and you're thinking
about all these, what if scenarios and, and before you realize it, you know,
you're way down that trail with him.
And so I want to encourage you in this, in this time as well, to really be
mindful about putting on the armor of God.
If you don't know what that is, it is listed out in Ephesians for you.
I think it's Ephesians six.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
When I said it, I was like, why am I thinking Galatians?
I'm pretty sure it's Ephesians.
So Ephesians six, and just be reading over that.
And literally I, I declare out loud all of the pieces of the armor over
myself and my family on a regular basis.
I try to do it daily.
I want to encourage you all to do the same.
Okay.
Fear is false evidence appearing real.
So what I want to do right now is I want to hear from you all in the chat.
So you don't have to unmute, but just put in the chat for me.
In the last, let's say three days, what is something that you
have feared or had anxiety about?
You don't have to tell a whole scenario.
You can just put something in there quick, but have you had any
fears or anxiety surface, anxious thoughts?
Maybe you didn't struggle with anxiety, but there was some kind of anxious thought.
Um, and what, what was that?
How did that show up for you?
So Lucy says, fear of what people think my health, Lydia Alexander, my
friend being mad at me due to her own insecurities, a huge bill that's due
tomorrow, I'm just going to start to read them now work stuff, uh, yeah.
Cause I won't be able to keep up with him.
All right.
I love it.
Too much to do and fearful of not accomplishing them.
Heartbreak, potential flooding, whether or not I need to get moving with real
estate, fear of being alone in a hard season, holding boundaries, pains I felt
in my body, homelessness, fear that no one wants me, work, another work one.
My health finances, turning a year older, starting a new career relationship,
returning back to work.
Okay.
About this guy.
Call me back after a lunch date.
Okay.
Hopefully you're not dating right now.
Hopefully you're pressing pause on that.
Um, fear of losing a good friend when I move away interaction with my daughter.
Okay.
Jenny, we'll, we'll pray over family stuff tonight before we log off.
That came up quite a bit this afternoon as well.
Work stuff, constant stress at work.
Fear family won't love me if I don't do things for them or buy things.
Glenna.
Fear of not having, having a job, the need of getting a new home.
Okay.
Roomies, negative money and resources, fear of birthday coming up soon.
There's two tonight about that.
Fear of not finding a place to live and timing of move to Texas.
Okay.
And if y'all have more of this totally fine, you can put them in the chat.
I'm going to keep moving because your voice does matter.
So as those come up for you, as we continue going, feel free to share those.
These are valid, real things that we're all facing on a daily basis.
The enemies, one of his biggest tactics is to try to get us to partner with fear,
anxiety, panic, worry, shame, guilt, condemnation.
I mean, there's a lot, but those are, those are definitely
things more than ever before.
There's just this onslaught of all of these negative
things that are coming our way.
And so in the days ahead, I want you to pause when you have a fear.
or anxious thought and ask the Lord,
what is the false evidence that is appearing real right now?
What is, Lord, what is the false evidence
that is appearing real to me in this situation right now?
If you remember when Jesus was led into the wilderness,
Satan came to him and tried to tempt him
and use the truth and twist it,
but he couldn't confuse Jesus because Jesus is the truth.
But what happens when the enemy does that to us?
If we don't have enough of the truth inside of us,
a lot of times we might take the bait, right?
Just like I was talking about earlier,
when we start going down the road with him,
when that isn't what heaven is saying over us
or to us or about us.
And so if we pause and ask the Lord,
what is the false evidence appearing real?
I believe the Lord will start to help us
unpack these things and come out of alignment
with fear and anxiety.
Anxiety is fueled by fear.
I don't know if you all know that,
but it's actually fueled by fear and what if thoughts.
So what if this, what if this happens,
what if that happens?
And then before we know it,
it's turned into this whole trickle thing.
Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us
living that amazing life, excuse me, ladies,
but it's the lies we believe as a result of the trauma.
Okay, I'm gonna say that again.
Trauma that happened to us
isn't what stops us from living that amazing life.
It is the lies we believe as a result of the trauma.
Fears and anxiety feed off of the lies.
Do you see kind of how that starts to build?
We go through trauma and then because of the trauma,
we tend to believe lies and then the anxiety
and then the fear builds on top of these lies
and the trauma.
And they all start to kind of weave this web together
that tends to get us stuck just like a bug
in a spider's web.
But tonight in Jesus name,
the Lord is coming through
and he's gonna start cutting the web
that some of you all have been caught up in.
I wanna share a couple stories from my own life
as some of the things that happened before
and things I've had to overcome.
This afternoon, I tried to share briefly
some of the literal deep, deep fears I dealt with
as a young girl,
a lot to do with the abuse I had gone through.
I had terrible fear of the dark.
A lot of times it would often circle around
a couple different things.
The basement where a lot of the abuse happened,
that's where our shower was
and people, I don't know if they did it on purpose or not,
but they would often turn the light out
that was to the stairs from the basement,
to the upstairs.
And so when I would come out of the shower
and turn the light out, it would be pitch black.
And back in that day, I was allowed to watch movies
I shouldn't have watched either.
So Freddy Krueger, is he the one with the nails
or the weird hands, whatever?
Anyways, there was this furnace scene,
I remember in one of the movies.
Well, the furnace in our house was literally right there
outside the bathroom door as well.
And so there was all this fear and stuff,
not Edward Scissorhands is like the bad guy.
I used to watch scary stories, praise the Lord,
I don't watch those anymore.
I would encourage you all not to watch those.
But anyways, the point, the reason I'm saying this
is that literally I would like have to run
from the basement to the upstairs
because I was so afraid you all.
Like it would come on me and I would feel it in my body
and I would feel panic and I would have to run up.
And then literally I would get to the top of the stairs
and I also had this fear.
And these were you all not even real things.
I mean, they were based in trauma again and lies I believe,
but they felt so real.
When I got to the top of the stairs,
we had this kitchen that had then off of it,
this other room and the room was like all windows.
And when it would get dark out at night,
I would be afraid that people were looking in the windows
and they would see me.
Now I have no clue where that came from,
but multiple times that would come on me
when it would be dark out
and I would run from one side of the kitchen to the other.
And you all, I can remember even as a young girl
sitting in the living room,
like hunched down in front of this chair
because I literally was terrified
people were looking in the windows.
You all, this was real stuff that I experienced.
It feels weird to even say that now
because it just seems like that wasn't my life.
I ended up getting over this after I gave my life to Christ,
not in a, it didn't go away just like that ladies, okay?
I had to walk through a process of literally denying
that fleshly thing that would come on me
through the spirit of fear.
Like I would.
feel it and have to resist it.
And God started teaching me how important it was
to use my mouth to speak truth,
to counteract the lies that the enemy was saying to me,
including how he was affecting me in my physical body.
And that scripture is,
I do not have a spirit of fear,
but I have a spirit of love and of power
and of a sound mind.
Y'all, I literally back then,
my name was Bethany Stanko,
and I would literally,
I, Bethany Stanko, do not have a spirit of fear,
but a spirit of love and of power and a sound mind.
And the other thing the Lord taught me to do
is instead of running and giving into that in my flesh,
to resist that and walk slow.
And little by little by little,
every time I would do this, y'all,
it started losing its grip on me.
And I'm not saying I've never battled it ever again,
but it had been a really long time
and I had gotten over a lot of that stuff.
And many years later,
I was dating my spiritual daughter's dad,
and that was not a good situation.
And I already knew it wasn't good,
but then it came to the kind of the big hit in the gut
when I found out, I don't know,
as many as I found,
there was like five or six ladies he was talking to online.
He was living all these different lives essentially,
and it all came out in the open.
And I just remember that day,
literally just so overcome with,
God, how could you let this happen?
Like, and I blamed God for everything essentially,
just because of the depths of my pain,
that's where I was at.
And in that day and in that moment,
as I crumpled to the floor and pounded,
y'all, I'm telling you really transparently,
pounding my fist on the floor,
crying out to the Lord, how could you let this happen?
Guess what entered all the way back in, y'all?
Anyone wanna guess?
The fear, the anxiety, the panic,
it all came back in like a flood.
And when that happened,
I didn't really fully even understand it then,
but many years later, as I was processing my own heartwork,
one of the things the Lord taught me
was not only did that,
that didn't just happen because of that current trauma,
but what happened is when that came to the light,
not only was the pain and the trauma surfaced from that,
but it went right down into the core wound
of my dad shooting on my mom and leaving our family.
And my dad also giving my mom's identity to another woman,
and it literally devastated my mom
and impacted our family financially.
There was just a lot my mom went through because of my dad.
And that's just scratching the surface.
And so there was all this deep pain
that I had processed some of it for years,
but that all happening, man,
it came and pushed right on the areas
that weren't healed yet,
that I didn't even know were still
like ticking time bombs in there.
But I'm saying all that to you to say this,
I remember a few weeks after that,
that day in the bathroom
and the fist pump pounding on the floor,
driving to work and just saying to God,
why did you make me this way?
That's literally what I said to him.
Why did you make me this way?
And I was talking to him about the anxiety.
And he said, literally in my spirit,
the still small voice said, I didn't.
And I'm like, what do you mean?
I've been like this as long as I can remember.
Why did you make me this way?
And he responded and said,
Bethany, I didn't make you this way.
When I created you, nothing bad or negative was in you.
And I remember as soon as that started coming,
that revelation, things started clicking like,
oh yeah, God doesn't make or put anything bad in us
or negative things in us.
And then I started connecting the dots.
So, okay, yeah, this entered when trauma entered my life.
So I'm just saying to you all,
what are you still carrying in your life
and blaming God for that he actually didn't put in you?
He didn't put that there.
The enemy through the trauma you went through
presented lies to you that are causing you
to partner with things that are not true about you.
God did not make me an anxious person.
He didn't make me a fearful person.
The enemy presented those things.
And because I was too little,
I didn't know how to defend myself from that stuff.
I didn't know how to not partner with that.
And so I believed him.
And so all those years later, even as an adult,
because all those years later,
all that pain coming uncapped, it was like Pandora's box just opening right back up.
There it was again, all that stuff just surfacing out of nowhere.
But y'all, here I am, I overcame it and I don't deal with that stuff anymore. Am I saying I've
never had another anxious thought? No, I'm not saying that. But what I'm saying is,
I don't battle with deep anxiety and panic and worry and fear anymore. And if I feel that stuff
rising up in me, I remind the devil of who he is and who I am. I am not an anxious person.
I walk in all the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I am full of the spirit of the living God.
The same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead is living in me and operating through me.
And he can crush the spirit of fear or anxiety or panic or anything that would try to rise up
against me. He demolishes every stronghold. Y'all, this is legit. We have to speak out of
our mouths the truth to conquer the lies that we've been believing. But these aren't just
things. Back in the day, I will tell you, it still had an effect. I still believe,
even when I didn't fully understand or receive things in my heart, I did to the best of my
ability. But you know, I believe in declaring truth over ourselves, right? And I did it back
then. But I'll tell you what, I absolutely believe it more now than ever before. And the
more healed I become day by day by day, and the less I live into those counterfeit identities,
the more I partner with the truth of who God says I am. Even if or when the enemy comes and
tries to present me with lies, doubt, unbelief, any of the things that are negative that he tries
to present to us. And so I want to encourage you tonight to ask the Lord to reveal to you,
is there anything that you're partnering with that is not how God created you?
Remember, anxiety is fueled by fear and what if thoughts. Fear is false evidence appearing real.
And both of those things build upon lies that we believe because of trauma we've been through.
In the HeartWork book, it talks a lot about not everyone sees the dysfunction in their own lives
as a problem. What this means is that sometimes some of us normalize what we've been through,
as well as minimize it. I don't know about you all, but have you ever said something like,
well, there's so many other people that have it worse than me. Anyone ever said that?
And I'm not saying it's a bad thing to be aware that there are people that are struggling
and around the world in really tough ways. But when you do that, when we do that,
we are literally minimizing our own pain and saying it doesn't matter. And it does.
What you feel matters. Now, we don't want to let our emotions be in the driver's seat,
but during this HeartWork time, we encourage you to feel the feels so that God can heal the feels.
We have to acknowledge our pain because if not, it's going to come back and haunt us later on.
We talked this afternoon about IUDs. Literally underneath the ground, they plant bombs and they
put trigger wires where people can't see them. And that is the same thing that will happen if we
deal with the pain of our past. If we don't deal with these fears and unresolved trauma that's
creating anxiety, like these limiting belief systems and these mindsets that we live into
that do not sound like what the Father is saying over us tonight.
I'm going to read something from the HeartWork book. I haven't really pointed out this paragraph
before, but this is what God highlighted to me this morning. It's called, There's No Hope. It's
just a little paragraph. It says this. Besides the obvious problem areas in our lives, another
way that we can detect the places where lies are believed is a lack of hope. It may be in your
relationships, finances, health, or something else. If you can't dream about it anymore,
if you can't picture a better or brighter day, if you don't believe anything will ever change,
you have accepted a lie. Where are you still struggling to believe that your life can be
different than what you've experienced in the past? If you have any of those lies that you're
hearing and partnering with, then you have believed a lie somewhere. All right. Okay. So
remember earlier, I encouraged you when you have fear to pause and ask the Lord,
Lord, what is the false evidence appearing real to me right now? That's question number one.
I also want you to ask God to help you know what are the facts.
So what is actually true? And number three, I'm sorry, what
are the facts is number two. And then what is what is true is
number three. So you're asking God to show you and discern,
okay, this is my what I'm feeling. This is what I'm
experiencing. But what are the facts? What is true? Again, we
got to feel the fields so that God can heal them. But we don't
want our feelings to be in the driver's seat. Okay, especially
if your feelings are based in your trauma and the lies you
believe as a result them this those feelings can get you into
trouble me too. Okay. All right, we're gonna keep going. We can
overcome the fears, the more we heal and become more rooted in
God's love and faithfulness to us. Remember last week, we
talked about God's goodness, his kindness, I want you guys to
keep leaning into that if you're brand new here this week, y'all
can check that replay out in the replay tab in the app. And
it's a really, really good session. And I think that would
be really helpful for you all to soak in that truth as well. Are
you someone who is always waiting for the other shoe to
drop? Maybe you struggle to believe that the good will
actually last. If that's you, there's probably lies connected
underneath the surface of those things. Do you tend to think of
the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario? Maybe
you hear a siren and think something happened immediately
to someone that you love. Maybe someone doesn't respond to your
text message in the timeframe you think they should. And you
then start to spiral in your mind to things like, maybe
they're mad at me. Maybe they don't care about me anymore. He
must be talking to someone else. I'm not pretty enough or good
enough or fill in the blank, whatever the panic thoughts are
that you might experience. I want you to ask yourself, what
are your thoughts actually rooted in? Are they rooted in
fear, doubt, unbelief, pain? Are they are they rooted in love,
peace, joy, faithfulness, kindness, all of the good things
that flow from the Father to you. There is hope for us. And
there's something I want to read to you all. I'm super excited. I
read this. And it just really leapt off the page for me. And
so I wanted to pass it on to you all tonight. This is the quote
that I read. I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me
right now. I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me
right now. I want to encourage you all to say that over
yourself. You don't have to unmute. But I want you to repeat
I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me right
now. I'm going to keep reading lost, wasted or stolen time can
create a weight of regret that no believer should live
underneath. You are not too late, too early, too young or
too old. You have not missed out on God's best for you. You're in
the right season for what God wants to give you right now. And
no matter what age you are, I want to encourage you. I don't
know about you all. But the enemy is busy, busy, busy trying
to tell me how I'm too old to have a baby and you're not going
to be able to keep up and your body's not going to be able to
handle it. I'm being transparent. This is real stuff.
I'm going to be 47 this month. But I don't have to believe that
stuff. I don't have to partner with that. Man, when I read that
it literally I was like, Oh my gosh, yes, I'm partnering with
that truth. I'm the perfect age for what God has for me in this
season right now. Years ago, yes, of course. Of course, I
wanted to have a baby at the same time as my friends, you
all. But you know what, I can't look back. All I can do is go
forward. So I just want to celebrate and live in the
fullness of what God wants to give me and I'm going to partner
with. If God wants to give it to me in this season, praise the
Lord. Guess what? I'm a lot more healed now. I think I'm probably
going to be a better mom now. Why can't I partner with those
thoughts? Do you see where I'm going with this? I get it. It's
hard. Some of you are believing the lie that you have been kept
single your whole life. That's not true. Some of you
unfortunately, followed counterfeit identities, and
unfortunately, subconsciously sabotaged relationships or
isolated yourself away from them or, or whatever. It wasn't that
God just put you in timeout. No, yes, some of the purity culture,
some of you, you believed God was leading you there. Totally
understand that. And I'm sorry about that. But God can redeem
the time for you.
Let's not partner with fear.
Let's not partner with fear anymore.
Let's start partnering with hope
and that God's plan is unfolding for you.
And he has new things
that you haven't even conceived of them yet.
He wants to bless you beyond your biggest imagination.
The biggest thing you could ever dream of,
he wants to give it to you.
And some of you, that's not where you're at yet.
And that's okay.
Because I believe the more that you heal,
the more that you will start to get there.
The belief that God has something good for you,
not just everybody else.
I just literally saw a long checkout line.
I don't know if y'all have ever had to wait
in a really long, gosh, what was it called?
Lay away.
I don't even know if they do that anymore.
At Christmas time, lay away.
I can remember being in this really long line
and it just felt like forever.
And I heard someone, literally the Lord say,
someone in the spirit was saying or crying out,
I don't know if in your heart,
you just feel like you're always in a waiting line,
but God is saying those days are over.
It's about healing.
It's about redemption.
It's about revitalization.
Have you ever thought about like a house
getting revitalized and totally redone from the inside out?
That's what you're in right now.
Your whole house, the house of your heart
can be totally revitalized and revamped and made new.
And you can walk away from this
a completely different person.
Yeah, you're gonna have a lot of the same understandings
and life is gonna happen,
but man, you can start to experience it differently
in the days to come.
And this isn't just like a rah-rah session for you all.
This is legit stuff I've experienced.
Everything from the hard things
to the where we stand in truth.
It's not even just, oh, I'm on a mountaintop.
It's this is the truth of God's word for you.
All right, I'm gonna keep going.
1 John 4, 18 in the amplified version says this,
there is no fear in love.
Dread does not exist in love,
but perfect, complete, full grown love drives out fear
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.
So the one who is afraid of God's judgment
is not perfected in love,
which means has not grown into a sufficient understanding
of God's love.
Perfect, complete, full grown love drives out fear
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.
I want you all to let that sink in.
Where you have fear, there's something in you
where you're actually believing and partnering with the lie
that God is a punisher,
which we talked about last week.
He's not a punisher.
He's a giver of all good gifts.
The goodness of God is literally,
it says in the Bible, for those who seek him,
it can chase us down and we can experience it
in the land of the living.
We don't have to wait till heaven
to experience his goodness.
He's a now God.
He's an ever present help in times of trouble
as well as on the mountaintop.
He's with us.
He never leaves us nor forsakes us.
John 3, 16 says, for God so loved the world
that he gave his only begotten son
that whoever believes in him should not perish
but have everlasting life.
I'm gonna read song lyrics again to you.
Sometimes, y'all, I don't do this every session,
but there's two sessions out of all of them
that I do this in, and it's called Fear is a Liar.
It's by Zach Williams.
You might've heard of it,
but I feel like it's so powerful to read these over you all
so you can just really, sometimes we sing these songs,
but we don't really take in what we're singing and saying.
So I want y'all to hear it.
This is what it says.
When he, being the liar, fear, the devil,
when he told you you're not good enough,
when he told you you're not right,
when he told you you're not strong enough
to put up a good fight,
when he told you you're not worthy,
when he told you you're not loved,
when he told you you're not beautiful,
you'll never be enough.
Fear, he is a liar.
He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.
Fear, he is a liar.
He will rob your rest, steal your happiness,
cast your fear in the fire,
because fear, he is a liar.
When he told you you were troubled,
you'll forever be alone.
When he told you you should run away,
you'll never find a home.
When he told you that you were dirty
and you should be ashamed,
when he told you you could be the one that grays.
face could never change.
Oh, fear, he is a liar.
He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.
Fear, he is a liar.
He will rob your rest, steal your happiness,
cast your fear in the fire,
because fear, he is a liar.
Hebrews 12, one says this.
Therefore, since we are surrounded
by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles
and let us run the race with perseverance,
that one that is marked out for us.
I kind of got that mixed up there,
but y'all get what I'm saying.
What is the race that's set before you, ladies?
The Lord wants to help you run it
and not just run it, but finish it successfully,
exuberantly, full of life, not worn out,
barely making it across the finish line.
No, like he literally wants to transform
everything in your life.
I'm gonna get you ready for the breakout session.
Tonight's question is this.
What fear are you going to ask God
to help you with tonight?
What fear are you gonna ask God to help you with tonight?
Like literally you're saying,
God, which fear do you wanna help me
get breakthrough in tonight?
Okay, so that's the question.
I'm gonna encourage you to share that
when you go in to the breakout sessions.
For those of you that are new,
if you've never done this before,
I'm gonna set these up on the backend
and I will tell you when,
but there'll be a pop-up on the screen
for you to join a breakout session room.
And I'm sorry, I just went in the wrong direction, I think.
There we go.
Okay, all right.
So I'm gonna give you all seven minutes tonight for this.
All right, I have like two to three of you in a room.
If you get in a room and nobody talks,
sometimes people have mic issues, ladies,
so don't take it personally, okay?
Let's not be easily offended, all right?
And if somebody accidentally leaves early,
sometimes people bump the leave button
instead of the stay button.
And again, just believe the best in people, okay?
All right, so you're talking about
what fear are you gonna ask God to help you with tonight?
Go ahead, those should be up on your screen for you.
Go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can.
Praying for you all.
All right, awesome.
All right, Stephanie, thank you for letting me know that.
All right, Brenda and Sandra,
are you all able to go into breakout room?
If not, let me know
because I need to bump someone else around.
Okay, Brenda's in, awesome.
Let me go ahead and put her up there.
All right, I'm gonna pray in just a second, ladies.
All right, Father, thank you so much
for everything you're doing tonight.
Damaris, that's totally fine, thank you so much.
Father, thank you for bringing the rain.
I just sensed that.
I don't know what the weather's like there for you all,
but I keep hearing this diffuser next to me
and I thought it was raining outside again
and it's got rain on my mind,
but the Bible talks about the early in the latter rain.
And so Lord, we just invite your rain,
your cleansing water just flowing from heaven
over our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls.
God, I thank you that you would help us
to hear from heaven what your spirit is saying over us.
God, I thank you for washing us
and making us completely clean.
God, that you're taking all of the things,
the sin that's been crimson red and making it white as snow.
God, I thank you that you would help us
to come out of alignment and agreement with fear,
anxiety, worry, dread, panic,
anything that we are plagued by.
God, we thank you.
Yes, Lord, thank you for creating just a force field
around our minds in this season, God,
that you would empower us, Lord God,
with the ability to stand on your truth,
that your truth would start to percolate
up to the surface in us more and more and more
as we meditate on your word day and night.
Lord, I thank you that you would help us
to sleep peacefully.
I speak peace in Jesus' name over every one of those
that are a part of this heartwork journey,
this community, God, where the enemy is coming in
and trying to rob and steal people of sleep and rest.
God, I thank you for rest.
I thank you for peace, God,
that your perfect.
Peace that passes all understanding is what enables us to guard our hearts and our minds through christ jesus. And so I thank you for
um helping us to
Yeah, lord, just stand when we've done everything that we know to do your word says just to stand and so we we
Rest in that truth tonight
God that you fight for us even when we we don't even know how to fight god
I thank you that you would dispatch angels to war on their behalf tonight
God where there even has been yes lord fears passed down through generations. I gotta make sure I comment on that when they come back
um
Sorry ladies. I gotta make a note
When there's been generational fears passed down and in mindsets that partner with fear
God, I thank you that you would help us to recognize those tonight
And that we would just start to say no i'm not going to believe that anymore
I'm not going to think that anymore. I'm not going to speak that out over myself anymore
Satan you're a liar and I don't partner with you anymore
Thank you father that you're you're
Transforming all of us by the renewing of our minds that all things are passing away and behold
Everything is becoming new and you
God, I thank you that you would help us to forget the former things
And press on toward the high calling of god for our lives
That you have a good and perfect and pleasing plan for us not a plan to harm us
Or to bring destruction anyway, but to give us a hope in a future
Yes, yes, yes
Isaiah 40 verse 31 says but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength
They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint
God, I thank you that you enable us to run
God that you enable us to soar god where we have been held back and stuck in the past god
I thank you that you're dislodging those things god that you're bringing those
Things out of the darkness into the light for revelation for transformation for breakthrough
God, we thank you for one breakthrough after another breakthrough after another breakthrough for acceleration
and uh, just lord, yes divine healing and
Impartation into us god that you would come and plant truth in us
And god that it would be planted in a place where we can receive it god, and we thank you that um
Yes, lord that john 10 10 in the passion translation says a thief has only one thing in mind
He wants to steal slaughter and destroy but I have come to give you everything in abundance more than you
More than you expect life in its fullness until you overflow
God, I thank you that you enable us to over flow with your goodness god
I thank you that you're helping us to know
What it is to live in abundance to hear what your spirit is saying to us
To receive the fullness of your plans and your purposes for us. We thank you god that you would enable us to also
Yes, lord come out of alignment with any unbeliefs any doubt
About who you are god and your heart towards us god that you are good that you are
Faithful that you are not a man that you should lie
and
Yes, lord, we thank you that
You bring us new truth in in every new day. It's packed full of new mercies new truth new revelations new understanding
We thank you god that um tonight is is another beginning stage
But tomorrow we wake up for another day to receive the fullness of your glory
We thank you that psalm 86 17 says send me a miraculous sign to show me how much you love me
Those who hate me will see it and be ashamed
Don't they know that you lord are my comforter the one who comes to help me
God, I thank you that you come to help us. You give us aid. You are our protector. You're our defender
You're our provider. You're our ever-present help in time of need god
Let you are continuing to take us by the hand and jesus. I thank you that you call us your friend
That when we seek you we will find you
When we search for you with all of our hearts god, we thank you
Yes, lord, his hand is not slack ladies
I heard the holy spirit say that that means that he's not like coming to bless us and then holding back. Okay?
It means he's coming with abundance and blessing and life and and glory and hope
Yes, lord
if any of you have ever experienced where even last week I forget who shared if it was in the afternoon session or night time where
literally like
They had given the parent money
To get something that they had saved for and the parent wouldn't even though the kid gave him money
The parent wouldn't go get the thing
And that is just not the representation of who the father is
It's not it's not who he is and he's not like that
and so I want to continue to encourage you all to come out of agreement with any lies that you might have received because
of being mistreated by parents guardians
authority figures. Psalm 1 3 in the Passion Translation says this he will be
standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God's design deeply rooted by
the brooks of bliss bearing fruit in every season of his life he is never dry
never fainting ever blessed and ever prosperous aren't you ever prosperous in
Jesus name that's who we are that's who we are ladies I'm gonna read that again
it's so good Psalm 1 3 in Passion Translation and this is over all of y'all
so I want you kind of as I read this as people are coming back I want you just
to partner with this truth over yourself she will be I'm kind of rephrasing it
she will be so I got a mute a couple y'all I'm standing firm like a
flourishing tree planted by God's design deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss
bearing fruit in every season of her life she is never dry never fainting
ever blessed ever prosperous can I get an amen in the chat it's so good you
all to partner with truth every day we have an opportunity to partner with
truth or to partner with lies okay I'm gonna give you the activation go ahead
and get ready for anybody that's willing to share for those of you that are new
here the first time what we do now is I encourage those of you that are willing
to share with the whole group what you shared in your breakout and then we'll
do group coaching around some of those I'll get through as many people as I can
y'all I've been a bad girl lately I've been going way too long so tonight I
have to be done by 930 I have to so if I have too many of you I'm sorry I will
have to still shut us down at 930 I do my best to get through people as quick
as possible but I'm excited to see what God's gonna do tonight here's the
activation for this week it's called letting go it's called letting go so I
want y'all to be praying about what God wants you to let go of what fears what
trauma whatever it is God what do you want me to let go of this week and there
are two ways to activate this right both of them you're gonna write a letter
write a note about what you're letting go of number one in a safe place of
course you're gonna light that thing on fire and watch it burn baby and as it
burns you're gonna thank God for helping you let that thing go in Jesus name and
number two is a balloon release and I encourage you all if you do a balloon
release don't don't tape your your paper that you wrote this on to it okay just
put something with the balloon that kind of represents that thing that you're
letting go of okay I've heard time and time again people that actually do this
stuff how much breakthrough it gets them I know y'all might think it really
doesn't matter but if you have even heard me say this before and you've
done it I want to encourage you to step into this some of y'all need to let go
of you know somebody that hurts you you need to let go some of you of even
former spouses that you you know they passed away and you're just clinging to
them in such a way that it makes it tough for you to actually move forward
and I know that's such a hard thing to for some of you to hear but that that is
truly some of what y'all need to let go of some of y'all need to let go of the
fears and the doubts or whatever yeah let it burn baby burn I love to say that
just let it burn right and let that thing go okay so let's start with
Nadine and I would love to hear what you have to say
I just want to make sure are we sharing what we shared in the group yeah or if
you you can share what you shared in your breakout session or if there's
something different you feel led to share that's totally fine but it needs
around the fear that you're letting go of okay okay gotcha well I guess the
fear that I'm trying to let go I'm still trying to discover and I told you a
little bit about it on a video but I'm trying to figure out if God is asking me
to do real estate and I think what's so complicated about the situation is I
really don't think it's it's about whether or not to do real estate I think
there's a deeper fear and I don't know what it is because fear is on both sides
if I do it it's like there's fear that all hell's gonna break loose and you
know can I do it all those things and if I don't do it there's this fear of am I
doing what God's asking me to do by not doing it you know and so I've just been
wrestling and I want to just let this fear go but it's like every day it's
like literally tormenting me now it's like every day I'm thinking about this
instead of like just focusing on like the joy of the Lord and I was telling
the ladies that like I let it go a year ago after just going through so many
difficult situations with just trying to get into that business and then since
the heart work it's just been on my mind not my mind non-stop and so I'm just to
the point where I'm like God and it's like I'll listen to a sermon and I'm
like okay this is it confirmation on some things the Lord has said it's
Gideon I'm you know I'm gonna do the thing God's asking
me to do. And then I turn around and I'm like, Nope, we're not
doing it. Like we're sitting still, you have a fear and a
control issue where you think you need to be the person to
bring in the finances. And then there's that faith without works
is dead. And so I just, I'm just tired of this back and forth.
So interestingly enough, as you were sharing very early on, I
wrote down I heard in my spirit fear of failure. And that's
essentially what you both of the fears that you are
describing to me, essentially, at the core, there is a fear of
failure. And so I'm kind of curious, have you ever stepped
out into something new in the past and got reprimanded for it
or felt like you let people down or anything like that? Is it? Or
is this literally the first time that you're kind of branching
out and doing something brand new? Or tell me a little bit
about kind of your background?
Yeah, this is definitely one of the first times I've ever tried
to do something new. I think every time in childhood, like
trying to do like an organization, or I remember,
there was one time in high school, I wanted to run for prom
queen. And then I didn't, you know, because I was, you know,
had the fear of what other people thought about me. So this
is the first time there was that. And when I started, it was
just one of those things, like it was on my list of things I
wanted to do. And I never tackled it, because there was
that fear. And so once I got my license, then it was like the
fear turned. And then it was all of a sudden, like, is this what
you're supposed to do? Is this what you're supposed to do? And
so I am very, my personality is more like, I got my degree, I
want to put it to use, let's stay, I want my paycheck, I want
things in order, that sort of thing. And so because business
wasn't anything that I thought about going through, I was like,
well, I guess this is from you, Lord, because I don't think this
way.
Well, here's some of the things and I don't remember if I've
said this recently or not, but I feel led to say it tonight,
ladies. Here's the thing. If we take a step forward, even if we
make a mistake, is God big enough to redirect us to get us
back on the path? Yeah. Yeah, I think Nadine, I think you just
got to walk this out and see where God leads you. Because I
feel like this the kind of you really said, even though you're
like, I'm not sure if it's connected, but the wanting to
run for prom queen, and then not doing it is very similar. Because
you were afraid of what people would think of you. And you're
kind of saying some similar things here. And so at the core,
I think also what I would really encourage you to be doing is
praying about your identity in Christ. And who are you apart
from any of whatever it is that you do? Who are you? Because the
more secure you get in who you are, you know, I mean, we just
sometimes have to just get out of the boat and try and and
again, like I'm not, I'm not telling everyone to go do that.
But it sounds like you've kind of been in this back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth. And I think at this point, you
the way for you to move forward and really know and discern what
is God actually saying to you without all the confusion and
chaos? You know, God isn't the author of that.
And so the double mindedness and stuff that even Jackie talked
about, I don't know if that was this past Saturday or two
Saturdays ago, but that comes to mind as well, how the enemy is
really trying to get you to become double minded and
actually be at war within yourself. Does that make sense?
Yes, I literally just read James yesterday, because I was like,
Lord, I need something. And then I asked him, I was like, who is
the person in the Bible? And as soon as I heard Gideon, and then
I looked up stories, and that was the first one that popped
up. So I was like, okay.
Yeah. And let me ask you a question, because you also said
you have a control issue, which I actually heard the Lord say,
No, you don't. I think you actually are are afraid. I think
that that is what's causing us. And I don't think that you
should speak that over yourself anymore. Okay. Okay. But the
other thing I was gonna say is, let's say you step out and do
this. And then God's, you know, we're just doing a what if here.
And then God's like, Oh, I'd rather you go this, this other
way. What do you think God is going to feel towards you in
that?
Um, I don't know. But I'm honestly, I'm really embarrassed
to share this story. And I really don't want to, but I'm
just gonna I'm trying to share my testimony to get healing. But
when I started serving the Lord, and you know, I believe in
healing and deliverance, I had a really bad deliverance session
and it but it was like I was fasting and I was praying like
hours a day for a week straight.
and I was starting to hear the Lord
in some really unique ways, but the enemy came in.
And so I woke up one night and I started hearing voices.
And so it was like, I was in the middle of the night.
I know this sounds crazy, y'all,
but I was like driving and listening
to the voice of the enemy,
literally just driving in my car.
And like, it got to the point where like,
people thought I was crazy, you know,
and my siblings had to come and intervene.
And so it was a really traumatic thing because I had this,
I was like, whatever you want, God, is what I'm gonna do.
Like, you want me to go to the ends of the earth?
That's, you got it, you know?
And I feel like that's how I've always been
in my relationships.
And so at the end of that situation,
I was like so afraid to leave my house.
I thought an Amazon package was like a bomb.
So I laugh at it now, but it took me about six
or nine months to wanna leave my house.
And then after that, it's just been like,
just coming out of that fear.
And so I think there's some of this that stems,
it's like, God, is this you or is this not you?
Like, I just wanna be obedient, you know?
And I think like, God's calling me to hire,
but I let my work dictate like,
how much success I bring in, right?
Because if my boss is like,
I was recently in this position for five years
and my old boss recently let me know that she,
her response basically to my new boss was like,
I have no plans for Nadine.
Like, you know, she has so much work.
And I was like, well, that's hurtful.
Like, there was gonna be no growth in this position.
And you were just now telling me after five years,
you know?
So I know that the Lord's calling me to hire,
but it feels, the warfare that came with it
was just so much that I'm just like,
is this from you, God?
Like, I know we deal with spiritual warfare,
but also like, God is a God of peace
and not the author of confusion.
So it's just-
Well, the enemy is the one that's assaulting you.
So that's the difference.
So God isn't the one that is causing that to happen.
And so the more that you heal,
I think the more distance you're gonna get from that.
And the more you're gonna discern, you know,
what is God saying to you?
And the more peace you're gonna have regarding
whether it's his voice or not his voice.
And honestly, even, you know,
I talked about this this afternoon,
the more that we come out of religious mindsets
that we've heard or received from other people.
And just with what you're saying,
the bad deliverance session,
there might be, you know, some things that,
not just from that session,
but things that you learned along the way
that you might need to come out of a little bit more
as you go.
And so don't feel like even because I'm saying,
hey, you know, I think you should just try it.
You know, I'm not trying to tell you
what you should do per se,
but I think that it's important for you to know,
the reason I asked you the question I did,
and this is where I'm gonna close
and then I'll go to the next lady.
I asked you,
what do you think God's feelings towards you
are going to be if you step out
and it ends up being that He wants you to go
in a different direction?
And you said, I don't know.
And that's okay.
That was totally a fine answer.
The reason I asked you that
is because God's gonna love you irregardless,
and He's gonna help you irregardless, okay?
Now, there's a difference between us just,
and God loves us even when we willfully sin,
y'all, okay?
But this isn't sin.
This is you just trying your best
to discern which way to go.
And you're not gonna let Him down, Nadine.
Okay?
So it's really important for you to hear that
and soak in that.
Like, He's gonna be there to help you no matter what,
because He's a good dad.
All right?
So just keep partnering with that
and let's see where it leads you,
if that gives you a little bit more freedom.
And like I said,
just knowing your identity in Christ more and more,
like asking Him to show you like,
God, how do you see me?
What do you wanna say about,
like, what do you want me to know
about your heart towards me today?
And just kind of be in the posture of asking Him that
on a daily basis right now.
Okay?
All right.
You're welcome.
All right.
I'm gonna have to ask again how to say your name.
I'm so sorry.
I wrote it down last week
and I meant to look at that before the session tonight.
You probably, yeah.
Yes, go ahead.
Tell me how to say it again.
Zio.
Okay.
Yes.
Yeah, like uncle in Italian.
Zio.
Yes.
Okay.
it. Thank you. Thank you. Um, yeah, I have, and I shared with
the girls, I have fear of being cheated on. And I think that so
my mom was always paranoid of my dad cheating on her. And she
didn't have a very supportive circle of friends. So she would
like, tell me all of her problems or insecurities or your
dad did this to me that to me, when I was like, since I got
three, three or four year old. And then, and then, you know,
when I did, my mom did catch my dad with another woman. Horribly,
right? I don't want to go into details. But I was with my mom
in the car, when all of that happened. And yeah, I think
that sometimes I could have a doubt that somebody is not
really saying the truth, you know? Yeah.
Okay. I'm so sorry that you went through that. And I'm sorry that
those things were even told to you as a little girl. You know,
you just didn't even have the capacity to carry the weight
that was being placed on you. And I'm really sorry that you
that you had to do that. And I know that that broke the Lord's
heart for you too. And, and the reality, the interesting thing
is I wrote down when I was praying while you all were in
the groups, I wrote down generational fears, I literally
felt like God, God was telling me that there were, and I'm sure
there's more than one, but people hear tonight that the
fears are received, because you heard them come down. And now
you're telling me this is this is what happened in your home.
And so, ladies, if you remember, generational blessings can
replace a generational curse or a generational fear, anything
that we receive generationally, that isn't good, we can partner
with God to receive the truth to counteract those lies, and be
a kinsman redeemer in our family to bring blessing
instead of the the curse or the fear or whatever that negative
thing is. And so, Zio, I think that God wants to really set you
free from this because your mom's fate does not have to be
your fate. It doesn't. But you have to like, genuinely, even
though it's hard, because you grew up in this you've been like
you were literally trained in it, essentially. So you have to
now untrain yourself in that and train your mind in the
opposite. And so really want to encourage you to in the days
ahead, actively, like I think you need to even write it out on
a post it note or put or something to put it up. Like I
come out of agreement with the lie, and the fear that I'm going
to, you know what, I'm just kind of throwing this out there. But
you can pray and ask the Lord what it needs to be. But that my
fate will be like my mom's or that, you know, whoever I end up
with, I won't be able to trust them, or, you know, whatever
those things are that are aligned with that. And then then
you would write the opposite, I come into agreement with the
truth that God, you are my defender, I'm God defended.
That's the number one truth. That's the opposite of that.
Ladies, we need to understand that God is going to protect us
one way or another. Now he will, you know, people have free will,
yes. But no matter what we go through, God will defend us,
protect us, provide for us. Okay, but I believe that the
reason that your mom probably battled with that for so long is
she probably went into a relationship that already was
not healthy. Okay. And so even that is going to be different
for you, because you're here healing, and you can learn how
to choose someone that's healthy. Do you see the
difference? Yeah. And so I'm also just really be praying into
those areas where like, have you already done a forgiveness
prayer sheet specifically for your mom, like telling you these
things? Yeah, you're gonna that's, yeah, I've probably like
have said it before, but I haven't done a like a
forgiveness sheet. Yeah, well, I'm not there yet. I'm trying.
Yeah, it's okay. Hey, you don't have to rush ahead to week four
to do that. But I would just encourage you this week, just as
they come up, because I have a feeling you were three to four
or in this probably went on for a little while, correct?
Oh yeah, years.
Yeah, so you're probably gonna have several things
that you're gonna need to forgive your mom for
and your dad, all right?
Because you need to forgive your dad for cheating too.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, he learned it from my grandpa and it's not nice.
Yeah, and we can have compassion totally,
but the act of you forgiving your dad for that
and the act of you forgiving your mom
for telling you those things and placing those burdens
on you is gonna be really helpful for you, okay?
That's good, thank you.
You're welcome.
Hilda, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany.
Hi.
So my, there were actually two things
that I need breakthrough on.
And I didn't realize how they was just holding me back
for so long.
One is the fear of premature death
because I saw my dad pass away in the ER.
And so every time I have a medical exam, I can't sleep.
I'm just, I'm crying.
Like, where is this coming from?
And it's like, it really paralyzes me.
So I wanna make, I'm just afraid, like,
to not be there for my kids.
Yeah.
So, cause my daughter lost her father.
It's okay.
Four years ago and that same month I lost my best friend.
And so, yeah, so my mom got an x-ray
and then they said that there was,
you know, she needs to do a CT scan
so they see something abnormal.
I've just been really, just really, you know, afraid.
Honestly, I mean, that's, you know,
I'm not supposed to be afraid, but it's feeling inside.
And it just, I find it hard to be resilient.
I feel like my mom is such a, like,
some people, like, I just look at them and I'm like,
oh, they're just so strong.
I just cry for everything.
I'm always, I'm just like, you know, I just, you know,
even though I'm in business, I mean, I work for myself.
I'm in sales, I'm in real estate.
And I, it seems like that part is okay,
but this part of my life really holds me back.
And the other part is that, you know, yeah,
I was in real estate myself too late
and I wanted to see if it's something
that the Lord wants me to keep moving forward
because I also have fear of kind of like
not believing in myself
because I did have some past failures
and I revamped myself.
I've been working on me and I have,
I want to come back in it,
but I just feel like I don't, you know,
don't have the confidence, like, you know,
the zeal that I used to have before.
So those two main,
those are the two main things I need breakthrough on.
And I just, yeah, it's debilitating
because I get to the point where I kind of get,
there's so many thoughts coming, negative thoughts.
And then I have been working on my thoughts
and it's helped when I say I'm, you know,
I take all thoughts captive.
I feel like it's like a spiritual battle,
just trying to battle these negative thoughts.
All the time and it's exhausting, you know?
And then I, sometimes I don't do anything that day
because I'm just crippled, you know?
Hilda, how old were you when your dad passed away, please?
I was, I was in my,
I was 20, no, I was 30, 35.
Okay.
And had you lost someone else
when you were younger at all,
or was this the first person you lost
that you were that close to?
He was the first person that I lost
that I was, he was close to, yeah.
Alrighty.
So this has given me some ideas.
I do think at some point,
the not believing in yourself and the confidence,
the Lord will help you address those things.
But I think the deep fear and panic
regarding the premature death,
I think that healing is going to impact you
in those other areas.
Interestingly enough, there was a lady on the,
a young lady on our session this afternoon,
who also is struggling with fear of premature death.
And one of the things the Lord led me to say to her.
is, um, a, that we, you know, some of this, it's going to take time. So I want to encourage you
just to have grace for yourself. Um, because it sounds like, you know, this goes really deep,
you know, this was your dad, you saw it happen. Sounds like it was a traumatic thing potentially,
you know, and so the Lord, we want him to come in and heal that. And so in the grieving process,
how long has it been since he passed away? Uh, it's been 10 years. Okay. Yeah. And so sometimes
what can happen is, um, we can get stuck in grief cycles. Yeah. And so I, I think part of your
journey is going to be really giving yourself permission to move forward and, um, to allow
the Lord to come into the trauma place. Like even just asking Jesus to show you where he was the day
that you were in the hospital and your dad died in the ER and show you where he was at. And what
does he want you to know about it? Okay. So that's step number one. Number two, what I told this
young lady this afternoon is there are scriptures that talk about vitality, long life that talk
about, you know, God blessing us with, um, you know, years of, you know, goodness and mercy here
in the land of the living, all of those kinds of scriptures that talk about God's blessings and all
of that. I want to encourage you to look those kinds of scriptures up right down, whichever ones
resonate for you and really start to meditate on the truth of God's word that contradicts this,
um, spirit of death, really essentially that's attacking you. Um, you don't have to be afraid of
it, but you just need to understand that that's, what's happening. This spirit of fear is partnering
with the spirit of death because you said not only, you know, your dad, then you literally,
as soon as you said your dad, then you said your, if I heard you correctly, your daughter lost her
dad, then you lost a friend. Then you started talking about your mom and it's in, and that's
starting to kind of, it's like a snowball. It starts to go. Right. And so what I'm showing me
is at the core that there's that spirit, that's really trying to come against you and war against
you. And the only way we overcome those things, ladies is to like literally stand up against it,
but we have to have the truth to stand on first, and we need to be healed in the core of who we are
from the trauma. So that's why it's important for you. Number one, remember, invite Jesus to show
Jesus. Where were you the day that my dad died in the ER? Where were you at when that happened?
And what do you want me to hear about your spirit? Like, what do you want to help me hear that your
spirit is saying to me in that moment? Not just right now today, but back 10 years ago, the day
that that was all happening in the ER, what is Jesus? What is God? What does the Holy spirit
want you to know? Okay. And start there. And as you are processing that, you know, I want to
feel free to come in the group and, you know, share more because I feel like some other stuff
might come out as you do that. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I remember when I was in, um, I was in the, um,
in the ER and, um, he gave me, he was laying down and he gave me a gold cross.
Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. So
they told me I couldn't go in. I was eight months pregnant with my daughter.
Yeah. And then I went into this small room and I prayed.
And, and I think part of this too, um, kind of what's happening now, even just cause you,
even as you were sharing earlier, you were saying something about yourself. You said,
I cry a lot. And then you said, I always, but you didn't finish the statement. And so I feel
like even words that people have spoken over you, I think you have a sensitive empathic spirit
and it's not a negative thing. It's just that you've been, you've had this trauma stuff.
That's gotten to kind of, you know, maybe I don't even want to say all the way out of balance,
but it just feels like it just, it's very hard for you to come out of the grief place because
you feel so deeply, but you're going to be able to, you are going to be able to. So partner with
the truth, let God come in and really heal that place. Okay. And then share with us more in the
group so we can, can continue to help coach you through that. Okay. Okay. All right. You're
welcome. Thank you for sharing with us. Jodi W go ahead.
Hi, thanks. Hi. I what I shared in the group was just, I just had
a doctor's appointment today and it was the first time that a doctor kind of said to me,
oh you really should consider that you might be entering like into perimenopause and like looking
at you know at least talk to somebody because you're about to like you're about that age.
And so like it just it hit me different and then but prior to that I my sister like announced to
me suddenly that she was getting married and she and I are the only two in my family of my siblings
that are not married and we're the two that were not married for the last 15 years. My brothers
are all married. I have three other brothers and it was I found it hard for me to figure out how
to process how I felt about it because on one hand I'm happy for her of course but on the other hand
like it's hitting me harder that like oh I'm going to be the only single person and I'm later
and then I have you know well what if I missed my chance and I realized that when I tried to
spend time to like talk to God in journal about it I would feel like just I just I had it was
like I was numb you know and then whenever I was not having time to talk about it I felt like I
could cry at any moment and and I haven't been able to get out of this space and it's just been
a few weeks and she's getting married in a few weeks so it happened very fast which on one hand
logically that's encouraging and from a perspective it can still happen and it can happen fast but my
heart was like processing it on a whole different space and so I've been stuck in this and I realized
like you know going up to front of the church to ask for prayer like they might not understand and
I was so thankful for this group this is my first time sharing in the large group but I realized I'm
like I normally can work through my emotions I've been a good journaler I I've learned how to unpack
understand the heart work and inner healing already and so but I've been really stuck here
and I realized even how it showed up is like I've been having to work extra hard to have a good
attitude in the things that I've had to do to help her and I know that it's coming from that like
that disappointment that okay see you are you know the last one and maybe you won't get married
and then on top of that then the doctor says today you know you you might be nearing that stage
and so it just normally I can recover I work through things and this has just kind of
left me very like stuck and so I'm not sure what to do because the traditional things I would do
for this yeah um I think the biggest thing is you're doing the best thing you can do right now
you're acknowledging your feelings you you were very clear and and the fact that at first it was
hard to process and then you were feeling numb then you were feeling like you could cry at the
drop of a hat like you're acknowledging the different things that you're feeling you're
allowing yourself to feel them which is good um I think the only way to get through this is to go
through Jodi and to really on um when those lies come in as hard as it is okay to not partner with
it's not going to happen for me why can't it happen for you just because she's she's getting
married why does that mean that you can't you know where we really have to like get to the core
with why do we believe that it's not going to happen for us
and so um
I kind of what comes to mind uh I don't know have you ever seen the movie 27 dresses
yeah that comes to mind and you know some of the way like busyness and things and she didn't even
realize even though she always centered herself around helping other people get married you know
um there was this core desire that she had that was really brought out through that movie right
and you see what your core desire is you know what you want and it's just whether or not you believe
God is going to give it to you
Right? And so one of the things when you all were in the breakout rooms too is
I heard the Lord say that he is not slack.
And what that means, at least for me, I literally saw like he's not going to
start to extend his hand and then hold back. He's not slack regarding his promises. He comes all in.
He comes all in with abundance. And right now you're feeling extra vulnerable because of the
doctor appointment today. And so that's, that is trying, like the enemy is just trying to
discourage you, but you're doing the best thing you can do by even sharing out loud.
Because as soon as you speak that out, you're allowing the darkness to be conquered by the
light because not, you're not dealing with it by yourself. Now you have this amazing group of women
around you. We love you. We're believing with you. And I want to encourage you, like, you know,
on the days that you're struggling to have faith, Jodi, like you can borrow from my faith for you.
You can borrow from your other sisters in this group faith. You know, come on the prayer calls
as much as you ladies, please, as much as you can. It's okay if you can't all the time, but
come on the prayer calls because I'm telling you what, it's going to encourage your faith.
It's going to build you up in every area, not just regarding your spirit, man. It's going to help you
out of unhealthy heart postures towards men and towards yourself. There's just so much. And so
allow yourself to be surrounded by community. And, um, you know, we can kind of band with you
like a band of sisters, right. And lock arms with you and say, Hey, I believe, I believe for you.
And you can also say, I believe Lord helped my unbelief and he gets it.
He understands you. He's not mad that you feel disappointed or sad or that you're struggling
right now. But I believe also by the time you go to that wedding, that you're going to have a
supernatural grace to be there and feel joyful because you're not going to feel like you're
not going to have it too. You're going to, you're going to shift in that time. I really believe it
in the next few weeks that you're going to continue to break free. You're going to continue
to heal and you'll be able to walk in there with your head held high, knowing that God is going to
fulfill his promise to you too. And ladies, let's, let's look at when we have a fear or a feeling of
just kind of like I was talking about earlier, y'all, I am literally one of the last ones of
my friends to have a baby myself. And I could partner with that. And, and I'm not saying this
to minimize your feelings because as I told him trying to validate them. Okay. So make sure you
hear that. But I could partner with, I'm the last one. God's not going to do it for me.
Or I could partner with God. I trust that however you want to bring me a child, it's your perfect
plan. I get to choose what I'm going to believe and partner with. And so again, you have to,
like I was saying earlier, we have to guard our hearts and our minds, ladies. We have to be
vigilant and it can feel tough when we feel discouraged. So hopefully tonight you get
some built up and get some re-encouragement, some new courage, some new grace, some new hope
spoken into. And, um, yeah, I'm next. Vanessa just said it in the chat. Like you're next tag. You're
it. I believe it. Back in the day. I literally, I tell this story all the time. God started talking
to me and he told me to start declaring out of my mouth. I am a bride. And literally this was
back in COVID days. Y'all. I talked to myself all the time in that apartment. I was not crazy,
but I was declaring God's goodness over my life. And I was partnering with the truth that I was
a bride. I, Bethany Stanko, I'm a bride. I literally would look at myself in the mirror
and tell myself that I would walk around. I was partnering with that. I got a prayer calls.
We, I was like, I'm a bride. You're a bride. We're all brides because that's what somebody, this guy
who was totally like hammered when we were in Austin, we didn't know him. Bunch of us showed
up in the activation, all dressed in white. And we had these bride sashes on that Jackie had given
us. And he's like, you're a bride. Wait, you're a bride. He's like, wait, you're. And he didn't,
he couldn't even comprehend it. And so we all started laughing and we were all, we were literally
like, we're all brides. And so ever since then, it's been something from time to time that God
has led me to release. And so I just speak that over all of you. That you guys, Hey, when you
cheer each other on and in your comments, when people do a post, you might want to on occasion,
say, Hey, sis, I'm a bride. You're a bride too. Like build each other's faith up.
You've got this Jodi and God's got you. He's not going to fail you.
Okay. Ladies, we have to.
Partner with the truth, we have to, okay?
It's so vital.
Yes, we're all brides.
I'm a living bride, I'm almost three years in.
And y'all, if God can do it for me,
he can do it for you, all right?
Okay, I said I wasn't gonna go late, but I am.
If you need to log off, it's okay.
I know I'm coaching a little long,
but y'all, sometimes I feel like I've really gotta
make sure that we hear all the different aspects
and angles of what's going on in these dynamics, right?
So, I'm gonna give you an assignment, Jodi, as well.
I am gonna encourage you to activate yourself as a bride.
Because you know what?
Right now, you're partnering with the lie
that it's not gonna happen for you,
and you need to partner with it's gonna happen.
And so I want you to pray and ask the Lord
what kind of bride gear you need to go buy yourself.
It could be a cup, it could be a bride sash,
it could be a journal, anything,
whatever you feel led to do,
that you will partner with the truth that you are a bride
and start activating that in your life, okay?
All right, anybody else that feels led to do that
can do it, too.
Okay, remember, if I say something to another sister
in here and you're feeling that in your spirit,
go ahead and grab it and go do it, all right?
All right, awesome.
Hey, that's funny because I felt like I need,
I was like, I need to get a bride sash for my sister.
So maybe I'll buy two.
You should buy two, you should buy two.
And maybe still ask the Lord, is there anything else?
You know, I just think just really showering yourself
in this season, too, even though, you know,
you've got, you are feeling led to support your sister,
which is amazing.
But hey, shower yourself, too, with some bride gear.
I think it's great.
I love it.
And we would love to see you in the group
with your bride gear, if you're willing to take a photo
of it and share it.
We used to do that kind of stuff all the time
when I was going through this journey, ladies.
The more you show up, the more it creates that breakthrough
and your breakthrough is gonna create breakthrough
for other people, too, okay?
Yeah, amazing.
Okay, is it Chanmi?
Is that how you say it?
All right, go ahead.
So I'm in heart work week two and it says to share, so.
Okay.
I just like wrote whatever came to my mind.
It says, what are some lies your family
has passed down to you?
And I wrote like that it's up to me to save the family
because like my parents came as immigrants from Korea
and I was like raised here since I was seven.
And I just felt like the pressure
as like a firstborn daughter, I have a younger brother.
But this lie, I feel like led me to like hyper independence
and prioritizing career over building like a family.
And also my parents like don't have a good marriage
even though they're born again Christians.
And like my dad, like, you know,
he's like very involved in the church
and he's like, he prays, reads the Bible and all that.
Like, it's just like, to me, like growing up,
I guess it's like the contradiction of like,
isn't army, like, I know this world isn't perfect
and I know it's all broken and it's like all sin everywhere,
but, you know, isn't like family,
like the most important thing.
And just like from all the arguments
and like, just like having to like, you know,
like just like feeling like that pressure,
like just to like support them.
And, you know, just like, I just,
and I am really successful.
Like I became a nurse practitioner.
Like I moved like from the East coast to the West coast.
I bought a house like at 32.
And, you know, I just feel like I've done,
I've been trying and I'm just like,
how about like the family part?
Okay.
Yeah.
And like today I was like in prayer
and I just feel like that's what God's pressing on my heart
that like over success, over education,
like all the, you know, like titles behind my name.
And like, I feel like to me, I want a good marriage
and not having, not seeing that,
like being exampled and like prioritized,
like it's just really unfortunate.
And that's why I lost hope.
Like for me, I lost hope in marriage.
And when I talk about marriage to other people,
like what comes up and like what I say is like,
oh, I'm just really picky, you know?
I haven't met anyone with the same values as me
or like there's nobody I like and I can't trust anybody.
Like that's what, those are the things that I say.
So tell me, why can't you trust anybody?
Do you feel like you're,
you can't trust your mom and dad?
Yeah, I don't think I can trust them.
Okay, tell me why.
I mean, other than the fact that you're saying
they don't have a good marriage,
it sounds like they argue.
Why do you feel like you can't trust them?
Because like when it comes to like monetary means,
I feel like because they're like elderly now,
I mean, not elderly, but they're, you know,
like above six, they're 65
and basically I'm their retirement package.
Like, I'm supporting them.
Have they told you that?
Or is this just something because of cultural
that you feel like you have to do?
No, yeah, yeah, basically, yes.
Like cultural, and I just feel like
if I'm not there to support them,
then I don't know what they'll do.
Have you ever talked to them about this?
Not like in a deep, deep way,
but I just feel like so obligated
to like be their support system, which I don't mind.
It's not bothersome.
Like, I feel like I'll be blessed if I honor them
and like support them and take care of them.
And also I do feel like God has blessed me this much
so that I could support them.
So I just feel like it's a big circle,
if that makes sense.
Like it's part of the plan.
Yeah, and I do think us loving our parents
and taking care of them is a good thing.
But I think the thing I'm concerned about
is you feel obligated to do so, okay, or pressure.
I'm hearing a lot of pressure
in things that you're communicating
and taking burdens on yourself
beyond maybe what is needed or intended.
So that's why I asked you,
have you ever talked to your parents about this?
Because I just be kind of curious
if you all just had an open conversation,
if maybe some of the expectations or pressure
that you're feeling is actually self-inflicted,
which I don't know everything you've been through
with your parents or things they've said
or any of those dynamics.
But I will tell you that my mother didn't have
a lot of money and neither did my dad.
And so definitely I've had to help provide for them
or do things when they were alive to care for them.
My mom, when I was 20 years old,
had an aneurysm and almost died.
And she did recover from that,
but was never the same after that.
She had a lot of disabilities and things.
And so I understand the burden of as a younger person,
because when that happened, I was only 20,
literally when that happened with my mom.
And so it can be a lot,
but we also sometimes take things on ourselves
that we don't have to take on.
And so I wanna encourage you to really pray about,
ask the Lord if this is something that you have
an open door, a green light to talk to your parents about.
If they're healthy enough to have that kind of conversation
and just be asking them about that.
And then also, I just sensed a lot of emotion coming up
when you were talking about your parents and the arguments.
And so I wanna encourage you as I encouraged,
I gotta look at Zio, to go ahead.
And in the welcome section,
there is the forgiveness prayer sheet.
I want you to get that out and pray
and start forgiving your parents
for the times that they've argued in front of you
or whatever it was that you were witnessing
that's caused you pain
and caused you to lose hope in marriage.
Unfortunately, broken people do broken things.
And so just because they're Christians
doesn't mean they know how to live
in a healthy dynamic as an individual.
And if they're not healthy as an individual,
they're gonna struggle to be healthy as a couple.
And so, I mean, there's Christians
that have lived their entire lives as Christians
that have never done something
like what y'all are doing right now,
like the heart work and got healing.
And we just, a lot of us, walk around just unhealthy
and we bump into everybody and we trigger,
all these things.
And so that you would pray and forgive them
and for their mistakes, whatever.
Again, when you write these forgiveness prayer sheets,
ladies, you wanna be specific, okay?
And so just go with whatever comes up now
and then if other stuff comes up in the future
regarding your parents as well, you can just do it then.
But go ahead and focus on that this week
and partner with what I was releasing over Jodi, you know?
You are a bride, but you have to start partnering with that, as
well as healing from the fear of marriage.
Okay.
The fear that you can't have a good marriage because you haven't seen one
example for you from what it sounds like.
Um, and S and so I would encourage you ladies.
Hey, why can't we start praying and asking God to show us
healthy marriages around us?
God highlight healthy marriages around me.
Help me to start seeing good, good, healthy marriages so that I can
start to have my hope that that kind of fanned inside of me.
Let's start, let's start praying for that kind of stuff too.
Okay.
And I look forward to hearing more about what God's going to do in you
in the next couple of weeks, a way to go on week two.
Thanks so much for showing us.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Leslie, go ahead.
Okay.
Sorry.
I had to unmute.
That's all right.
So I was in a little bit this afternoon, but I was at work, so I couldn't stay on.
Um, the lie is that I won't be attractive to healthy men.
And so I was asking God where that came from.
And, uh, he brought me clear back to a memory of being a really young
girl, like five years old and playing with the neighbor boy.
And one day I came home and he was there to play with me and I was in a dress.
And he said to my mom, well, I didn't know that boys were dresses.
And my mom said, well, she's not a boy.
She's a little girl.
And he ran home and never played with me again.
And then, um, he brought me to another memory.
I'm in McDonald's.
I'm a little bit older, but not much.
And I, maybe I'm 10.
I hear them talking about me talking about how handsome I am.
And again, related to, uh, me looking like a boy.
And so I think that just, you know, somehow I, I guess Satan used that and,
you know, kind of, I guess I partnered with that.
So now I'm trying to come out of agreement with that.
Okay.
Thank you for sharing that.
Um, I know I just talked about forgiveness, prayer sheep, but even though he was a
little boy and he didn't know any better, I want to encourage you to forgive that
little boy for saying that and for choosing to never play with you again.
Okay.
Um, you know, we don't know why he did it.
We don't know if his parents didn't want him playing with a little girl.
We, you know, we, we don't know what happened there, but it's so wounded you.
And so forgiving him and forgiving those people that mistook you for a boy, just,
you know, do a separate sheet for both of them, right?
Whatever comes up for you.
Um, and let's just see where this might lead you by forgiving those
people that mistook you for a boy.
Um, and then also I want to encourage you, um, you know, as you're praying
about this, like, what are the ways that you partnered with it, that God, as
your God is leading you to come out of that, how does God want you to activate
the divine feminine back in yourself?
Okay.
So what are some things that God is wanting you to do to
partner with your femininity?
Okay.
And I want, I don't want to give you ideas tonight.
Cause I want you to pray about it.
And even if you have a hard time, if you pray and you're like, I don't know, go
ahead and come in the group and say, Hey, I'm praying, but I don't, I just am not
hearing anything or I don't know.
And then we can go from there, but I really want you to pray first and just
what God shows you to do.
Um, something maybe down a little bit different path.
I remember you saying that when you were practicing one time, a long time ago, you
looking men in the eyes.
And I so resonated with that because if, if I feel like a guy is on the same level
with me, I have hard time keeping that eye contact, you know?
Um, so that can be kind of part of that.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
You allowing yourself to be seen and not feeling like you can't keep eye contact
for sure.
Ladies, you all should start practicing looking guys in the eyes.
You don't have to flirt with them.
Remember, we're not trying to pick them up, but you can just smile at someone and
acknowledge them and keep, I like make eye contact and start practicing thinking good
things.
Okay.
About yourself and men in general.
Um, but yeah, definitely partnering with the divine feminine is going to be a big
thing for you, Leslie, because the enemy was trying to crush that part of you, even
as a little girl, you see.
And so the more that you partner with that, the more freedom I think you're going to
get from this thing, but forgiving those people is going to be a part.
that for sure. Can you tell me what those sheets were again? Yeah, the forgiveness prayer sheet
is in the welcome section of the app. And it's also in week four. Okay, thank you. You're welcome.
And ladies, I feel like a couple more people put their hands up, but I'm only going to be able to
do the people that already had their hands up when I said I would go a little bit longer. Okay,
so I had only saw, um, Chanmi, Leslie, and Karen, and I feel like there's maybe one more, but
I am going to have to close this up right after Karen. Okay. All right, Karen, go ahead.
You're muted. She's trying to work on it. It's okay.
Okay. If you tap on the bottom of your screen, do you see where it says audio, Karen?
I don't know if we lost her now. Sometimes people get really nervous,
y'all, especially if they've never shared. She's trying to figure it out.
Okay. So if you tap, if you can hear me, if you tap on the bottom of your screen,
um, there should be an audio button. It looks like a little microphone,
or that could be under more if it's not right there on your screen.
Nope. All right. I don't think she's gonna be able to figure it out.
All right, Karen, I'm gonna go ahead. Can you put it in the group for me? If you go in the
in the tab, will you share with me in there? And then I can coach you through it.
Just tell me everything that you would have shared, um, verbally, and then I can help you
process it over in the group. Okay. I'm going to be in there right after I jump off here tonight.
So if you come in and do the post, I'll be able to answer you tonight. Okay. All right. And same
thing for Ada and or Ada. I'm not sure if I said that right. I think I saw Susan's hand was up at
one point and I feel like Jockabed. Maybe did I see that? If, if you all will come into the group,
I'll do my best to answer you either tonight or first thing in the morning tomorrow. Okay.
I love you ladies. This has been really awesome. And I'm so glad that you're here tonight.
I'm going to pray us out. Father, thank you so much for your goodness, for your truth. God,
thank you for just redeeming our timelines. God, for restoring all the locusts has eaten and the
moth has destroyed. God, I thank you that nothing is too hard for you, that you are mighty. God,
that you are the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. God, we thank you that you call us by name.
God, that your eyes are upon us and they're looking at us with love in your heart.
God, I thank you that your word declares that you rejoice over us with singing. God, I thank you
that you celebrate us. And I thank you that you would help us to receive that truth as your
daughters. God, I thank you that tonight you'll help us to walk away from this session, really
understanding that we don't have to fear. We don't have to be afraid because you are with us. Help us
to become more rooted and grounded in your love more and more every day in Jesus name. Amen you
all. Oh, it's, you just got it to work. Yeah. You know, I was, I'm so sorry. I didn't. It's okay.
I realized what I did now. I was, I, when I was on the screen where I could see everybody on my
iPhone and I had to swipe it back to where it was just me, because it wouldn't show it. So
I'm sorry. Do you have time still? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. All right. Thank you for taking my call. So
I really, okay. So I really feel like the enemy is coming against me with the lie that I haven't
changed, that I haven't made any progress because if I get emotional, it's because I am just
emotional, but, but this is like, so I mentioned in the chat earlier, you know, that I kind of got
myself into, I'm stressing about finances and I kind of feel like I got a little bit of a break,
like a little aha moment just even on this call, but I think that you'll have more insight. So I
want to share because, you know, I think it stems back to where I was when I was married.
you much younger. And I had good credit that was raised it, you
know, my family didn't have any money growing up. So we lived
very, very tight. But they did teach me to always make sure you
only spend what you can pay off and blah, blah, blah. And I did
that for years. And my very first, well, it's my second
serious relationship with the man that I ended up marrying.
He knew that I had good credit, and he did not. And so he really
did take advantage of me. Because he wanted to have all
these things. And I was young and insecure. And I didn't know.
So I just let him use my credit to buy all these things. Well,
anyways, long story short, our marriage didn't work. And so he
did not keep up his end of the divorce decree where he was
supposed to refinance our house so that that was his
responsibility to refinance. Well, he didn't. And then a
few years later, the creditors started coming against me. And
my only way to get free from that was to file bankruptcy. So
there was my credit was destroyed for years, but I did
get out of it. But I still continued to live in this, this
kind of debt cycle, right? It was like I picked up like really
bad financial habits from him for years. So I was always
having to live with people and all these things. It was just I
did own a home for eight years, but I had a ton of debt in order
to have that home. And so the Lord called me out of that I
sold my home and I had to move back in with I chose to move
back in with my sister. And anyway, so it was this whole
thing. So anyways, during COVID, I really had the opportunity to
get out of debt. And so since 2020, I got out of like $10,000
of debt in that year. And then I really did a lot of healing
work through other things through different programs. And
I really felt like I did. Well, this past year, I ended up
getting myself back into debt again. And I, some of it, a lot
of it was not my fault. But then some of it was just bad choices.
And I really feel like the enemy is now telling me see, you never
changed, you know, you didn't learn anything. And, and I know
that I can't go into relationship with debt, because
I don't want to be in relationship with somebody else
is in debt. So how can I be that, you know, so like, it's
just this horrible thing. And so I think he's using my financial
situation to make me feel like nothing's changed, and nothing's
ever gonna change. And so there's a lot of fear around
that. So I think number one, let's look at what triggered you
to go back into debt. Okay, let's look at that. Well, it
was, um, so it was taxes. Last year, I wasn't prepared for the
taxes that I owed. And so I had to borrow the money. And then my
sister got married. And it was a very quick decision to get
married. And it was in Hawaii. And I didn't want to miss my
sister's wedding. So then I had to borrow money there. And then
I had to get my license, my driver's license renewed. And my
doctor at the time told me that he couldn't get my prescription
good enough with soft contacts to where I wouldn't have to have
a restriction on my driver's license to not be able to drive
at night. So I went to see a different eye doctor
specialist. And she was able to get me fitted for hard contacts.
But they were like $1,600. So then I had to borrow money for
that. And it was just like one thing after the next after the
next, that I had to just keep borrowing money, you know, and
then I think I just and then some. So then I did do. And then
then my job, my second job that I have, because I can't afford
to live off of what my just one job, you know, so I have a
second job that I had to get a new job when I moved into my
apartment that I'm in now. And I have scoliosis, I have rods in
my back. And I've never had back troubles ever, you know, for 30
years or whatever, right, until I had to take this new job
waiting tables. And I had to start carrying these big trays.
And so all of a sudden, my back started causing me all of these
problems. So then I had to go see a chiropractor. And that
cost me $1,700. So like the money just keeps adding up and
adding up and adding up. And I just so anyways, so now I'm just
like, yeah, terrified. And so then I had this really big bill
is that's due tomorrow, which I was able to pay. But, you know,
I was believing the Lord he would provide and I was just
like, well, maybe I'll just get
Really big tip and I worked at two doubles in a row and I did what I could it wasn't like I was just sitting
Around praying for God drop money in my lap, but I still was like four hundred dollars short
And I had a friend from my restaurant reach out to me privately and she said, you know, what do you need?
I'll help you if you need money
So I did end up borrowing the money, but then that brings me shame and embarrassment that I had to borrow money
It's just no
I
Want to pull out something that and I understand why you're saying this. I want you to feel really supported
I do think that you can
Overcome this and overcome it for good. Um, I don't think anybody is ever too far gone Karen
okay, and
You know again, I'm not trying to oversimplify things ladies
But it's really important for us to really look at how we're processing things
One of the things that you said a lot tonight is I had to I
Had to I had to and some of those situations. I like yeah, what are you gonna do when you're in a medical situation, right?
Sometimes you do feel backed in a corner
But we have to be careful with partnering with I had to I had to I have to because we can even carry that
into relationships, right I
I had to keep dating him. I like I did the same thing dating the my spiritual daughter's dad. I
Literally told myself that I couldn't leave him because he was gonna take the girls from me because I went through that trauma
With my ex-husband. He took my stepson
It literally took him away from me as soon as I like moved out
Like I he just wouldn't let me see him anymore and I haven't seen him since he was 10 years old
And that's a true story so
You know our the reason I asked you what triggered the spending which you told me what you spent money on
But you you didn't really mention what triggered it except for you started with the taxes and I think what happened is that
The taxes situation I think is the trigger point. I think and
As soon as that happened, I believe that you started partnering then with
Here I go again
Okay, and then it created this snowball of stuff and I understand wanting to be at your sister's wedding
You know, I want to I want to pose something to you ladies that
sometimes we might have to miss out on things and
I know that sucks
But when we need to save money and we need to like we don't want to keep going into that
And and we all struggle with this don't we in our society today, you know
There's all kinds of things we can spend our money on but um, I don't want you to live in guilt or shame
Okay, you can't go back. You can't change it. All you can do is move forward. And so I want to encourage you to
Ask the Lord to help you come out of alignment with I had to
To I was presented with a decision and I made a decision
okay, I was presented with options and I made a decision because
What's happening is as you were talking I could feel your panic growing
Okay, and the reason that's growing is not just because of the fear it is because of that
But it's also because every time you added another thing and you shared with us
You were losing your power and your ownership more and more so like you're powerless
To all of this and while it is overwhelming. I'm not saying it's easy
I'm not saying that I mean you got hit with one thing after another after another that's a lot
but
When we let go of all of our power
It just builds and builds and builds that we have no control
Does that make sense?
and so
Again, this isn't so that you feel shame. I believe you can come out of this genuinely and learn what?
what is the things that trigger you to start down that cycle and
I believe it can tie back to the pain because where you started tonight was what this X did to you. Mm-hmm
So forgiving him even if you've already processed it before
for you know
Choosing to do things and not pay and not keep his end of the bargain essentially
you know and his commitment in his word and forgiving him of those things and
really
partnering with the Lord and in the truth that
Like what I what I used to feel like
Karen is I used to feel like I had a hole in my pocket
Like I would make money and I would feel like stuff would keep happening, kind of like what
you're talking about.
And I would feel like, Oh my God, I just keep working.
And I had multiple jobs like you did too.
When I went through my separation and divorce, I always worked two jobs for years, you all.
And even a couple of years ago, I was working like for four different people because I wanted
to get out of my full-time job and step into coaching.
And it was, it was like a little crazy, but you all, I did it.
I did it.
And I kept my head, like, like I kept my head, my eyes up, focused on the Lord, like, God,
you have freedom and breakthrough for me.
The more the Lord healed my heart, the more I learned to become a healthier steward of
what he was giving me and to not get triggered by things that would lead me to spend
money.
Okay.
So for example, the, the really, the only one that I see out of that was the sister
getting married, you know?
And, and I mean, I wouldn't want to miss that either.
So I relate to you in that, but they chose to go to Hawaii.
And if you couldn't afford it, being okay with saying, I can't afford this right now.
Yeah.
I think she was expecting me actually not to go.
I think it surprised her that I did go, but I was like, cause she knows, you know, that
I was trying, you know, I managed to stay out of that for four years, you know?
And so I think she was just kind of, she knew that I didn't want to get back into it.
And she's like, I understand if you can't go blah, blah.
So it was on me that I chose to go, but I just didn't, obviously I couldn't foresee
all of the other things that happened after that.
So I just looked at it as, well, no big deal.
I'll just pick up some extra shifts.
I'll get it paid off, you know, and it just didn't happen, you know?
Yeah.
So I want to encourage you that I am in the best financial position
I've ever been in, in my life.
And it just took me praying, healing, growing, getting around other people that
knew how to handle money well, and really continuing to learn from them and
understanding that God's grace is available to me no matter how
many times I made mistakes.
Okay.
So you, you have changed.
I think that you have changed.
I think that you learn from the first time around and you're going to learn
some, some stuff from this time around too.
And, you know, maybe one day, I don't know, maybe you'll be coaching
people and helping them financially.
You just, you just never know.
I don't think God did this to you, but he can absolutely use it for your good.
And for the good of other people.
Okay.
So I want to encourage you to forgive yourself as well.
That's going to be key.
All right.
All right, ladies, I feel led to pray one more time just because, you know, I want
to bless Karen and just anybody else that we leave in a really good free feeling.
So father, thank you.
Thank you that you lift panic and fear and worry and dread off of us.
God, I thank you that you're the solution giver.
God, I thank you that not only do you give us the capacity and the ability
to create wealth, but you give us the ability to sustain it.
God, I thank you that it will come without painful toil as well.
Your word declares that that can be true.
So Lord, I speak that over Karen and anybody else here tonight, God, that you
would give them favor in everything they put their hand to, we ask for extra
tips for her in the days to come.
God, we thank you for, um, bringing restitution from the pain of the past
and the things that she worked hard to pay off and debts that weren't even hers.
So, or we just thank you, God, that you will bring an acceleration and a
healing, um, in every one of these ladies in, in, in every area of their
life, including their finances.
And we just praise you for, again, just being our provider, um, for leading us
into all truth and anointing us for all of our lives and walk and calling and
leading us deeper into Jesus today.
In Jesus name.
Amen.
Have a good night, ladies.
God bless you.
I'll see you all in the.
Thank you.