Hello. Welcome. So glad to have you all joining us tonight. I'm so excited to be here with
you and hear what God is going to say to us tonight. Hi. Hi, Katie. I haven't seen you
on screen for a little bit. It's nice to see you. Welcome for those that are joining us
new for the first time. If anyone's new, if this is your first time with us tonight, would
you put that in the chat for me so that I can just see that you're new. Welcome you.
If you're joining us again, welcome back. So glad to have you joining us again tonight.
I want to encourage you all a couple of things. I have a little bit of extra housekeeping
tonight, but I just want to make sure everybody hears all of this. Hi, Karen W. and Elise.
Welcome, Elise, for your second time, Karen, for your first. Hopefully it's an amazing experience
for you tonight. I believe God has some special stuff planned for all of us. On Supernatural
Saturday, if you all don't know what that is yet, every Saturday as a part of your part of the
last year single program, Jackie typically goes live on Saturday mornings and does just like,
hey, what is heaven saying to us as a community, as a movement, and that replay is up under your
replay tab. Want to definitely check that out. We also put a post up in the group under the
community tab every Sunday morning that is connected to the Supernatural Saturday word
that's released called the weekly roll call. It's one of the ways we can also check in and say,
hey, where are you at in the heart work as well? So definitely chime in. Let us know how the heart
work's going for you. Let us know what is God saying to you personally through that word
released on Supernatural Saturday. Again, that's under the replay tab. You can check that out there
for that roll call post. We want to encourage you to continue to jump into community,
to participate, to give feedback, to say, hey, this is what I'm processing from week three,
if you're in week three, and really just allow God to transform you through this
dynamic heart healing process. And a lot of the dynamic components come from you participating
truly, because the more that you're interacting with the truth, with what you're learning,
with your questions, and you're coming into the group, or even during these live sessions,
the more we can coach you and kind of just come alongside of you and assist you in your healing
process. A couple other things, for those of you that haven't heard, there is a halftime reset
happening. I want to make sure you all don't get FOMO, okay? Your halftime reset is here in the
heart work. That's what your halftime reset is right now. All right, so I want to encourage you,
don't feel like you're, you know, afraid, and you have to rush through your heart work to get over
to the other phases, because you're going to miss out on something. You're not going to miss out,
because God knew exactly when you were signing up for the heart work. He ordained this time for you,
so just lean right in to what God is doing in you in this season of the heart work. So that's what
your halftime reset is. We're going to be working on getting the affirmations up, just so that you
can at least partner with those that Jackie declared on Saturday morning. But if you all
didn't hear, one of the key things that she said is, we want to ask God, what are the affirmations
that he's speaking to us personally? It's amazing. I've used other people's affirmations
before and declared those over myself, so absolutely do that. But please don't miss the
second step. The second step is to say, God, what do you want to say over me for the remainder of
2025? And really ask God for declarations for yourself. And on that note, I want to encourage
you all, last week I put a quote out to you all that said this, I'm the perfect age for everything
God has for me right now. I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me right now. And that's
coming against and warring against the lies that sometimes we believe that we were late, we're late
for a very important date, right? No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. What
are we late for? Well, sometimes we believe we're late, we missed the boat on the person, we missed
the boat on the baby, whatever that is for you. Maybe for you it's a job, I don't know. Whatever
it is that you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm behind everybody else. And the enemy's trying to get you
into comparison, we're going to talk about that tonight. But I want to encourage you to come out
of alignment and agreement with those things and come into alignment and agreement with the truth
that you are in the perfect place and space for everything God has for you right now.
The healing that he has for you, you're in the perfect timing for it. You've been prepared for
this. And I believe that God wants to give you amazing things on this journey. I'm going to
Go ahead and pray, and then we're going to dive right into the content tonight because we've got a lot to track through.
It's going to be exciting.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
We thank you, God, for revealings for healing that are going to happen.
God, we thank you that you bring things out of darkness into the light so that we can be set free,
so that we can come into a heavenly understanding and an upgrade of who that you say that we are.
God, we thank you that you would break off shackles, off of minds, off of hearts, off of spirits.
God, that whom the Son has set free is free indeed.
God, we thank you for sending Jesus.
And Jesus, we thank you for your blood that you allowed to be shed,
for the forgiveness of our sins, for our freedom, for our redemption, for our healing, for our resurrection, for our life.
We thank you that you would awaken dreams, that you would awaken just, Lord,
a hunger and a desire for us to live more abundantly, to come out of hiding in every way.
God, where the enemy, through trauma or through situations, has pressed us down, pulled us back, knocked us down,
whatever that looks like, that you would help us to get back up tonight,
that we would walk forward with courage, that our eyes would be set towards heaven,
and we would hear what your Spirit is saying, and we would see what your Spirit is doing.
We just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here tonight,
that you would weave in and out of the whole night, every conversation, every word,
that every woman would receive exactly what it is that they need to receive
so that they can get more breakthrough supernaturally through the power of Jesus Christ.
We just thank you for doing an amazing work in all of our hearts, minds, bodies, spirits, and souls.
In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen.
All right, ladies, we're going to track through this tonight. It's going to be amazing.
One of the things I want to give to you all, before we go into the actual content about the real you,
is that this afternoon, as we were preparing to go into the content,
I heard the Lord say, and I almost wasn't going to say this tonight,
because I felt like maybe this was just for this afternoon, but the Lord said, say it again.
So I'm going to release this. It's going to be on the recording.
I believe it is for someone here as well tonight.
And this is what the word is. Make room for the new that God has for you.
Make room for the new that God has for you.
And what I mean by that is that some of you are still looking backwards,
and God is asking you to make room for the new.
For those of you in heart work, I'm going to challenge you to clear,
literally this week, time on your calendar and block it out just for your heart healing.
Nothing else. Nothing else.
And I know some of you already do that, and it comes easy to you,
but there's some other people in here that I really believe God is saying you're struggling,
you're getting distracted, and you're not prioritizing your own healing,
your own resurrection, if you will, in this time.
And so I want to encourage you, again, block that time out and really fight for it.
I mean, so many of us, we're fighting for other people,
we're contending for other people, we're ministering to other people,
and we have words for other people.
But then when it comes to us, we're like, oh, I can do that later.
Can anyone else relate to that?
Something God's speaking to you about and everything else can take priority.
But then we're like on the back burner all the time.
And God said the time for that is over.
In this season, I believe God is calling us to a now season that we would intentionally stay focused.
And so when Jackie is releasing words about the halftime reset,
when that kind of comes into our Supernatural Saturday,
and you all hear some of those words,
I do want you to hear what the Lord is saying to you through those,
but don't get distracted from your heart work.
How can you make room in your heart to believe for your spirit mate?
I don't want you to go off dating men.
You don't need to do that right now.
Remember, we want you to press pause on dating while you're here.
We don't want you to be on the apps.
We don't want you to try to go out and find a guy.
We want you to work on your heart work because I can guarantee you if you will do that,
if you will dedicate yourself and this time to that journey a few months from now,
some of you are going to be like, whoa.
Oh my gosh, I'm so much different.
And guess what? When we're more healed and more whole,
we're going to attract someone different. It's going to be a whole different ballgame.
So ladies dial in make room because God has something special.
He wants to do in your heart in life and he wants to do it now.
Now again, you can't miss the boat.
I don't want this to feel shameful for anybody.
If you've been here for a little while and distractions have hit you do not receive that
because that is not from the Lord.
Okay, God knew exactly where you what you were going to go through.
Some of some of the ladies had literally stepped into heart work
and lost family members like mom's dad's passed away.
y'all, we can't prevent that kind of stuff. To me, that's
not I mean, obviously, I don't believe God caused that to
happen. And it can be in a sense, its own distraction. But
that isn't one of the things I'm referring to here. Okay.
Everybody needs to be able to grieve when something like that
happens. So please don't receive any judgment or guilt or shame
from the enemy if you have gone through something and you did
get distracted. But it was something that was like really
big and really hard. And you're just doing your best to process
and move forward. Hey, you're still here, which is amazing. So
celebrate yourself. Be sure to celebrate your wins as you go.
All right, your true identity. That's what we're going to lean
into tonight. And remember that when I'm talking about your true
identity, what I'm talking about is who God originally created
you to be like when he was forming you in the womb, and he
was literally putting all the different things in the gifts
and the abilities in you and your character and your
personality, your hair color, and he was designing you, and he
was crafting you. And he was, he was literally just so excited
for the day that you were going to be born the day he designed
it designed and predestined for you to be here. That's the true
identity that I'm talking about. Not even your own idea of who
you were called to be. But who did God originally create you to
be long before trauma, wounds, brokenness, or any of that ever
entered your life? Who did God originally create you to be? So
as you're thinking about that true identity, so often what I
hear is I don't know. I don't know who my true identity is. I
don't know what that looks like, sounds like feels like. And what
I want to encourage you about regarding that is the more that
you heal, the more you're going to have a little bit more of a
glimpse of who God originally created you to be. I believe
like we're, we're transformed and we're changed from glory to
glory to glory. And, and the more like we move closer to the
Lord and the understanding of what heaven is saying over us
and has always been speaking over us, the more that we will
be able to hear the truth of God's heart regarding our
original creation and design. But here's the question I have
for you. Who told you that you were naked? That's what the
Bible says. That's the question the Bible, when God, the father
met Adam and Eve, and I'm going to read the scripture here in a
minute. That's the question he had for Adam. But I want you to
be thinking about, you know, your life and the things that
you've been through and the things that you think about
yourself that aren't positive. And, and I want you to ask
yourself, who told me these things? In a sense, who told
you you were naked? Who told you you weren't good enough? Who
told you that you wouldn't find a spirit mate? Who told you that
you couldn't walk into the fullness of that promise in the
dream that God has given you? Where did these lies originate
and come from? You don't, you don't have to continue to be
under the rubble of the mess of even our own choices at times
that has been created. We can come out from under the rubble
and we can start fresh and new. And God has all these amazing
abilities to literally, as we know, in Isaiah 43, 19, I'm
doing something new. Can you not perceive it? God is the one that
created creation. Can he not do something new in you? Nothing is
too hard for him. Genesis three, eight through 11 says this, then
the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord as he was
walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid
from the Lord among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God
called to the man, where are you? Adam answered, I heard you
in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. So I hid.
And then God said, who told you that you were naked? Have you
eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?
Tonight, God is calling you out of hiding. It's an invitation,
ladies. It's not a forced thing. God is always inviting
us. He's inviting us to come out of hiding and to show up fully
in the world. And for some of us, we like, we're like, I am,
I'm, you know, a boss, babe, I'm rocking it over here. And I've
accomplished all these things. But yet deep down inside, so
many of us actually are hiding parts and aspects of ourselves
from people. We're afraid to shine some of us, because
somewhere along the way, somebody told you that it was
annoying for you to be happy and bubbly. And, or maybe that
ain't use the word annoying, but maybe they said something else.
Or maybe they just said to you, Oh, you're, she's just shy.
She's just shy. Y'all know.
Yeah, some of you might have a little bit more quiet demeanor.
Not everybody's meant to be the same personality and makeup.
But some of you had people speak over you that you were shy,
but you were shy because brokenness had already entered the scene.
Okay?
Maybe you felt like you didn't know how to be like the older sister or the older brother,
or even maybe it was mom and dad who was always the one taking the attention.
This is a word for somebody. I'm hearing the Lord saying this.
Some of you, you felt like other people were always in the limelight,
and so you really didn't even know if your voice mattered.
And so you just shied away from using it.
And God is saying your voice matters.
He wants you to step further into using your voice more in the days to come.
Coming out of hiding, I'm going to read a couple different definitions of what that looks like,
what that sounds like, what that feels like.
And here's what it says.
Being authentic, being present, fully engaged in life,
intentionally choosing to be fully present in the moment,
recognizing your true self and actively participating in life with purpose and intention,
not holding anything back.
I want you to ask yourselves and be really honest.
Where have you been holding back?
Where do you sometimes listen to the voice of the enemy when you have a desire or a dream,
and you're not sometimes maybe even sure it's from the Lord,
but there's this thing that you feel excited about,
but then you immediately believe the lie that you cannot do that.
That's silly. That's your own idea.
Whatever the voice sounds like that you hear,
that keeps you from actually pursuing that thing and launching out and trying it.
I just heard the Lord say some of you wanted to try out for a theater play,
and you didn't.
And I want you to know that that regret that you've had,
God's going to give you a full circle opportunity.
And you might be like, well, I can't go back to high school.
Yep, you can't.
But you know what?
Even as adults, you can do a play.
You can be in a play.
Maybe it's something else.
Maybe it's something at church.
I don't know.
But I feel like God is saying he's going to bring this full circle moment to you,
whoever that is for.
When we show up as our authentic selves, we often give others permission to do the same.
Sometimes, ladies, when we show up as our full authentic selves,
some other people aren't going to like it.
And I want you to be prepared for that.
You don't have to be afraid of it.
You just need to be aware of it.
Because here's the reality.
When we start to leave the comfort zone,
the old us and the counterfeit identities that we've lived into for a while,
when we start to leave that stuff behind,
there's some people that are like, no, don't go.
And they're trying to hold us back to where we were.
But you know what?
I said this this afternoon, and I don't think I've ever said this before,
but it made me feel so happy when I said it this afternoon.
But it's the truth.
Guess what?
There's people on the other side of the river that are like, come on, come on.
You've got this.
You can do it.
Y'all, it's real.
And in this community, I believe we're the people on the other side of the bank.
And we're saying, keep going.
Keep going.
Don't give up.
You've got this.
God's got you.
He's working out things on your behalf right now in the spirit realm
that you can't even think of, ask about, imagine.
God is a God of surprises and amazing, beautiful adventure and fun and good.
Yes, there's hard things we face too, ladies.
The Bible says we're going to face trials and tribulation.
It says it.
But that does not come at the hand of God.
God's just telling us to be prepared for it so that we can overcome it.
There's people on the other side of the comfort zone,
of the counterfeit identities,
of the places where we've been living beneath the actual identity that we
were called to live in.
Man, there's victory on the other side.
There's victory over there.
And God wants you to experience that more every single day.
We're all on a journey each day to grow in our understanding of who we are in
Christ,
who we are in Christ and in the spirit realm.
I'm going to keep saying it.
I will say it so many times so that you guys really take it in.
Before trauma ever entered.
Father, who was I?
Who did you create me to be before trauma ever entered my life?
Can you continue to show me a glimpse of that?
person of that little girl and help me to live into that more every day?
Here's another reflection question for you.
Is there any part of yourself, and I said this a little bit earlier, but for those of
you that might not have written it down, is there any part of yourself where you tend
to hold back with people even when they're safe people?
Okay, some of us hold back because we know, hey, this person's toxic.
It's not safe in this environment.
But some of you, even when you're safe, maybe don't recognize you're safe yet, and maybe
still hold back and don't allow that part of yourself to be seen.
I used to say, you know, when I'm the most comfortable, and I'm not saying this isn't
true, but when I'm the most comfortable, I let the real me come out.
Yeah, that me that jumps out from behind the door to scare my husband or army crawl.
Yeah, I do this stuff.
This is real life in my house, and it gets better the more that I feel safe with him.
But one of the things the Lord told me is recently that I actually don't have to just
keep that only for him.
You know what I mean?
Only for the safe people.
On occasion, I can let that part of myself, again, you want to look for safe people, but
I feel like there's more safe people than maybe what I in the past used to understand
or see.
And I think more people do need to see those different aspects of me because I'm a pretty
like vibrant person.
I have a lot of aspects of myself.
I'm serious.
I like to be funny and silly.
I might not be funny and silly like someone else is, and I remember one time someone speaking
over me like, you need to be more fun when you speak.
You're too serious.
And I remember like, no, I don't receive that because I needed to be who I was in that moment.
And I was fun, but I didn't, I just wasn't to the place that every time I speak, I don't
feel like I have to step into that.
So ladies, some of you, you need to protect, you need to protect yourself a little bit
from things people are speaking over you.
And some of you are like, oh, I am, I am too serious.
And then you're getting down and hard on yourself instead of like, God, is that true?
If there's truth in that, help me to help me to know how to come out of that shell a
little bit more.
But if that's not truth that I need to receive right now, help me to just discard that and
move on.
There's a song called coming out of hiding.
It's not coming.
It's just called out of hiding by Stephanie Gretzinger.
And this is a couple of the lyrics.
It says, come out of hiding.
You're safe here with me.
There's no need to cover what I already see.
You've got your reasons, but I hold your peace.
You've been on lockdown, but I hold the key.
Because I've loved you before you knew it was love and I saw it all still.
I chose the cross and you were the one I was thinking of when I rose from the grave.
Now rid of the shackles.
My victory is yours.
I tore the veil for you to come close.
There's no reason to stand at a distance anymore.
You're not far from home.
For some of you, God is saying, you know, you've been keeping me at arm's length because
you actually believe that I'm not good.
You believe that I'm not kind, but God is kind.
He is good.
He is faithful.
He's not a man that he should lie, but the enemy is always his tactic.
He's always trying to convince you that God isn't good, that God isn't who he says he
is, because if he can get us to believe that God isn't who he says he is, then that takes
us down the path to partner with the lies that we believe as a result of the trauma
that we've been through.
What you align with matters.
What thoughts are you currently aligning with that don't sound like heaven?
I'm going to read just a couple of the things that Jackie said during the Supernatural Saturday
just to kind of bring this whole, what are you aligning with here right to the forefront.
This is one of the things she said, stop saying things like nothing ever works out for me.
I'm never chosen.
Life is always hard for me.
Yo, I'm not saying that might like, I'm not saying that's not true sometimes, but the
more we partner with life is always hard for me.
Nothing ever good happens for me.
Guess what?
Guess what's going to happen?
More hard stuff.
What we partner with and what we agree with actually is what we invite.
I want you to understand the power of your words.
Again, not be afraid of these things, but just understand it.
Understand that it's not about like, it's not saying, oh, not acknowledging that those
things are happening.
Yeah.
Hard things happen to me too, but man, I can't stay there.
I can feel it.
I can allow God to heal me.
But I want to keep moving I want to like God what what faith do you want to give me in this situation?
How do you want me to talk about this situation?
How do you want me to like navigate the understanding and the revelation of who you are in the midst of it?
I know that your word says that you never leave me. You never forsake me. So why do I believe right now that I'm abandoned?
Just do you hear what I'm saying?
What are we partnering with?
God hasn't run out on you
That's a word for somebody to your spouse ran out on you. They left you and I'm so sorry about that
Maybe it was your mom or your dad that did that. I don't know but God will not run out on you
He's gonna come through for you
But he wants to know that you're willing to fully surrender
Remember from previous sessions y'all the do not enter signs that we erect sometimes because man
It's just too hard to allow God to go into certain areas, but he's saying if you will trust me completely
if
You will allow the do not enter signs to come down and invite me in allow me to come into your heart fully
I'm gonna make you completely new
I'm gonna make you completely brand-new
Karen I want you to be encouraged
We have people every single day that I wrote have never been married
Never had kids that are meeting their spirit mates and they're getting married one of our women in our community just announced
I mean we've been written for her for years. It's incredible
She met an amazing man and God is doing something really beautiful and divine and guess what?
Sometimes we partner with you know, well, I missed out on all those extra years with that person
I remember feeling that way when I met Brian man. I wish I had met you sooner
But you know what? I wouldn't have been who I was
back then
To who I was when I met him you all we have to understand God's perfect timing. Okay?
All right. Here's a couple other things
All right, here's a couple other things you're not behind you're being prepared for love that last
You're not hard to love you're easy to love by the right person
Rejection is God's selection
Raising you up to a new direction
God has something special for you. Where are you partnering in your mind?
Where are you parking your car? So to speak, you know, what thoughts are you entertaining and meditating on day and night?
The Bible says that we should meditate on the word day and night that we should literally
Like ask for that to be implanted into our hearts
That we would literally wear it as a tablet around our neck you all
That to me is like I just think sometimes when I walk and I pray and I'll just put my Bible up on my chest
Like sometimes I'm just like man
It just there's so much comfort and feeling the Word of God close to me
The truth kind of Lord let this permeate my heart my soul my spirit
how many be less of
Myself less of my thoughts less of the things that the enemy has tried to convince me that I can't come out of
God can make us greater each day. You're a supernova. Did you know?
What does that mean well that means that you're carrying something amazing
Incredible that can change the world on the inside of you and I know some of you are like well
I don't even know how to change my own life. How can I change the world?
I hear this all the time
And so I want and want to encourage you
One day at a time one step at a time the more that we heal as I was talking about earlier
You know as we start to experiencing those shifts and those changes
We're gonna have people that might try to hold us back
Well, guess what ladies as we heal and change where there's gonna be these ripple effects that are gonna happen and man
It's gonna give other people an opportunity to choose to change as well
It's not up up to us what they choose
But the reality is is the more that we experience heaven the more that we heal the more
Redeemed that we become in our minds and our hearts and our souls and our spirits and even in our bodies ladies
Some of us need some redeemed bodies, don't we?
Yeah, we need God to come in and heal some things
The more that we experience that the more it speaks to other people around us
Matthew 5 14 through 16 in the message version says this. Here's another way to put it
You're here to be light bringing out the God colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept
We're going public with this as public as a city on a hill if I make you lightbearers
You don't think I'm gonna hide you under a bucket to you. I'm putting
Go on a light stand.
Now that I've put you there on a hilltop on a light stand,
shine, keep open house, be generous with your lives.
By opening up to others,
you'll prompt people to open up to God,
this generous father in heaven.
Romans 8, 37 through 39 says this.
Know in all these things,
we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
nor angels nor demons,
things in the present nor the future,
nor any powers, nor height, nor depth,
nor anything else in all of creation
will be able to separate us from the love of God
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Late as nothing can separate you from the love of the father.
Some of us walk away from the Lord at times, don't we?
And we believe the lie that God doesn't love us anymore.
We're too far gone, we've made too many mistakes.
I see in the chat there, yeah, after two failed marriages,
I'm sure that's hard, but you know what?
God can redeem anything.
God, he's amazing at rewriting people's stories,
but we need to fully surrender.
We need to learn how to do the process differently
this time around.
Allow people in the community,
this community is here to coach you,
to come alongside of you,
and really enable you to learn new tools
and new habits and new patterns
so that you don't make the same mistakes anymore.
Again, it's an invitation, it's up to us to accept it.
If God is for you, who can be against you?
It's time.
Time for what, you say?
Well, it's time for you.
It's your time, Maureen, it's your time, Rosie,
it's your time, Jamie, and Jovita, and Alyssa,
and every woman on here, I could call you all by name.
It's your time to step into the fullness
of everything that God has for you.
Time for the princesses inside of you to awaken.
I was looking the other day at my vision board for the year,
and I had forgot I actually put it on there.
Sorry, I need to drink you all.
But I saw this picture, and it's this little girl,
she's got curly hair, she's got a cute little crown on,
she's got a little princess wand,
and I didn't even remember that God spoke this to me,
but I wrote it on my board when I was making it,
and I heard him say, talk like a princess.
Not walk like one, talk like one.
I want you to think about how would a princess talk?
Do you think a princess would think
that their father, the king,
would withhold from them?
Do you think a princess would talk
and think like they don't have enough means
or things to be met?
No, because they know what royalty feels like,
looks like, sounds like.
And I know that maybe we all weren't born
like physically into a palace,
but I want to encourage you, you serve the king of kings.
He's the Lord of lords.
You serve someone who sits on the throne.
And he's asking you to come up a little higher,
and instead of sitting under the table,
begging for crumbs, settling for things
and people that don't belong to you,
they don't align with God,
his spiritual DNA for your life,
he's saying, come up a little higher,
come up and sit at the table.
I have a seat for you next to me.
Where all the revelations of heaven and abundance
and blessings are gonna flow,
but we have to stop going back under the table.
Because sometimes we come and sit at the table
for a little bit and we're like, oh yeah,
yeah, that's amazing, that's great.
And then something happens, we get triggered,
or we go through something hard,
and where do we go, ladies?
We tend to go back to our comfort zones, don't we?
And so many of us, for a long time,
we've existed, if you will, under the table.
You know, the people that put their food down
for the dogs under the table,
yeah, that's not your position.
You were never meant to be down under that table.
And so God is saying, it's time to come up
and sit next to me.
All right, we're gonna keep going.
Ephesians 5, 14 says this,
awake, awake, O sleeper, and rise up from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.
What are we awakening to,
and who are we being awakened by?
Well, God's true love kiss from heaven can awaken us.
The more we grow in the understanding of God's love for us, His absolute love of us and for us,
we are going to continue to awaken to the things that He says about us.
We're going to awaken to our true God-given identity. We're going to awaken to restoration.
We're going to awaken to big, bold future dreams awakening within us. Some of you are going to have
dreams from when you were children awakening within you. God's going to stir things back up
in you, things that you maybe put down a long time ago for different reasons. You're going
to feel led to pick that stuff back up and start moving on that. And some of you are going to get
brand new dreams, things you've never even thought of doing. You never dreamed of going and doing
this stuff, but God's going to encourage you to step out and start doing some of those things.
I love the example of to live into and awaken to our God-given identity, our true identity.
I don't know if y'all have ever seen the movie Wreck-It Ralph.
Laura, the Ephesians passage is Ephesians 5.14. The Wreck-It Ralph movie, there's a little girl
in the movie. Her name is Vanellope. And in the movie, a big majority of the movie, she's glitching.
She's all glitchy glitchy, okay? And Wreck-It Ralph is kind of sent in there to kind of harm her
and keep her from winning the race. She's in this race. She's got this little race car.
And I don't want to give the whole movie away to you all, but it's definitely
an incredible movie. It's got an incredible theme. I'm going to show you some video clips tonight.
I don't normally do this, but today as I was preparing, I just felt led to look up a couple
of these clips to make it more visual for you all tonight. And here's why. Vanellope,
as the movie goes on, what we find out is this guy, this bad guy, if you will,
and we're going to kind of reference this in the way that Satan works in our lives.
This bad guy came and he took a chip out of her and that's what caused her to glitch, you all.
The enemy comes and he takes things from us. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy,
right? We know the word says that, but Jesus came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.
And he was trying to trap her in this game so that she would die. But God had another plan for her.
I know it's a movie, but I love it. I believe God has a new destiny for all of us.
And as the story unfolds, I'm going to let you see the clip of what happens. Okay.
I'm going to share my screen and I hope this blesses you tonight.
Hopefully we don't have technical difficulty. This morning I had a little bit.
All right. I'm going to show you three small clips. So bear with me.
She'll be added to the race roster. Then gamers can choose her and the avatar.
And when they see her glitching and twitching and just being herself,
they'll think our game is broken. We'll be put out of order for good.
All my subjects will be homeless.
But there's one who cannot escape because she's a glitch.
When the game's plug is pulled,
she'll die with it.
Can you do like full screen?
Uh, I can't just cause it will be hard for me to pull these through. So just bear with me.
The rules are there for a reason, Vanellope. To protect us.
Say I'm you. I'm in my weird little car and I'm driving and I actually feel kind of cool for once.
And then all of a sudden, oh no, I'm glitching.
See, you're an accident just waiting to happen.
Oh no, I glitched too.
I'm cool.
You will never be a racer because you're a glitch and that's all you'll ever be.
Whoa, what's with all the magic sparkles?
Now I remember.
All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush, Princess Vanellope.
I remember, she's our princess.
Okay, so tonight the reason I showed these to you is God wants you to remember who you already are.
Who are you already on the inside that needs to come out and you know some of those people that they were kind of bullying her,
they didn't remember her actual original design either because their memories had been taken away.
Some of the people in your life that are saying things, they're hurt people hurting people.
And they were calling her an accident and that's all you'll ever be.
And some of you have had people say stuff like that over you.
But God is saying tonight that you're a princess, you've always been a princess.
And as she became that princess, if you all noticed, man, the whole land started to light up.
And that's exactly what I've been talking about tonight.
You are the light of the world.
Every single one of you has the ability to be a light to those around you.
The more that you shine, the more that you heal, the more that God works in your life and works through you,
the more it's going to impact those around you.
We all have to choose what we're going to believe.
So tonight can be a literal chant, like a line in the sand for you all, if you choose to allow it to be.
What do I mean by that?
As you can choose to start to believe in a line with these truths that I'm talking to you about
and leave all the other stuff behind, all the negative thoughts, all the self-deprecating thoughts,
all the things that are like self-hatred, self-loathing, self-pity.
That is not God's plan for you.
Again, I understand why we feel these things.
I've been there, too.
But God is saying, come out, come out from wherever you are.
You don't have to play hide-and-seek anymore.
It's safe here, and you can come out, and you can thrive,
and you can live that good, good life that we're talking to you about in this community.
Tonight's breakout question is this.
In what ways does the enemy challenge the real you?
It's kind of a three-part question, okay?
So that's the first part.
Does he use comparison, competition, or imitation, or maybe even all of them, to challenge that real you?
Does he try to always invite you into those?
And how do these tend to show up in your life?
Like if you struggle with comparison, how does comparison tend to show up in your life?
Does everyone understand the questions?
I'm going to read them again for you, okay?
In what ways does the enemy challenge the real you?
Does he often use comparison, competition, or imitation, all of them, some of them?
How do these tend to show up in your life?
Okay.
Let me set these up for you.
For those of my coaches that are in peer coach training, or part of the heart work mentor training,
go ahead and stay in the main room with me, and all the other ladies, you'll go, that are here,
that are members and students, you're going to go into those breakout rooms.
I'm going to give you six minutes, ladies.
So I have some.
Let me do this.
I have too many in some of these rooms.
This will be hard for you all to share.
Okay.
I'm going to give you six minutes, so short, brief, and powerful.
And for those of you that are new, it's going to pop up on your screen or on your phone,
and it's going to have the digital room.
Click it as soon as you can to join that room.
Okay, there you go.
We're praying for you.
As soon as I get everyone situated, I'll start praying.
If you are here in the main room.
Just have to make sure nobody's by themselves here.
I need to move a couple people around.
We have too many people in rooms tonight.
All right, Father, we just thank you so much for this night.
We thank you, God, for everything that you're doing.
We thank you that you help us to come out of alignment and agreement with counterfeit identities
and these realities that don't look like and sound like you.
God, we thank you for invitations into your truth.
Leslie, I just sent an invitation your way.
God, we thank you for giving us upgrades in our revelation and understanding.
God, we thank you that.
You would help us to hear what your spirit is saying and to trust that you are good and that you're working on our behalf,
that you are continuing to weave truth and life and hope in every moment, into every fiber of our being.
God, I thank you for cells being regenerated, God.
Even where some of us have had, yeah, Lord, just a hard time coming out of trauma and partnering with truth
because it literally, like, we have to change the way our whole brain thinks.
God, we thank you for revitalization projects that you don't get tired of them, God, that you're never worn out by us.
God, that you love to hear from us, that we are your daughters, that we're your beloved and whom you're well-pleased.
And you want to hear the things that are on our hearts.
God, I thank you that even last week you reminded me of another thing on my board that says, like,
the, you know, the prayers that aren't prayed, aren't asked, can't be answered.
And for some, they feel like they're pleading and they're begging you, God,
but God, help us to shift out of a heart posture of begging and pleading into rest
and understanding, God, that you are leading us further into the fullness of your plans and promises for us.
God, that we are being healed and changed and transformed.
God, we thank you that you would help us to, yeah, Lord, just remember that you make beauty out of ashes.
Where there's ever been a broken and fallen place, Lord, that you lift those places up,
that you make those level places plain and straight.
God, that you would lead us into the highways and byways of your truth, God,
that we would have fresh revelation and insight.
When we encounter your word, God, that every day it would be fresh manna from heaven.
God, that you would illuminate scripture off the page for us and to us, God,
and we would hunger and thirst for your righteousness, for your word, for more of your love, Lord,
that we would always desire to have a fresh revelation of who you are, God, as the lover of our souls.
And God, even as Revelation talks about, that we would return to our first love.
God, that nothing would take place of you.
God, that you would be the author and the finisher of our faith.
God, we thank you.
Hi there.
Welcome.
They're in the breakout session.
I can put you into a room with some of the ladies.
Let me see if I have it.
I got booted out with Karen and Pamela.
Oh, I see.
I was in that room.
Room 10.
Okay.
Thank you.
All right.
There you go, sweetie.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, Father, I thank you that I don't remember what I was praying, so I'm just going to go with something different.
So, Father, we just thank you for, yeah, Lord, helping us to understand, too, what the fruits of the Spirit are and how to walk in them.
God, we thank you that we can walk in love and joy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control,
perseverance, that you, God, are enabling us to be filled afresh with the power of your Holy Spirit, and we can partner with the things of the Spirit and turn away from the things of the flesh every day.
Yeah.
The wages of sin are death, and I thank you, God, that you would help us to turn away from sin, that you would help us to turn away from limiting mindsets and belief systems, orphan mentalities,
things, again, that don't look like or sound like you.
God, I thank you that you're inviting us into the divine love story of heaven.
We thank you that you would bring your kingdom here on earth and our lives as you desire it in heaven, that you would give us this day our daily bread, that you would forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
Lord, I thank you that your word declares, too, that you will lead us out of temptation and deliver us from the evil one, that your kingdom would come and your will would be done.
Lord, we thank you that you would, yes, Lord, continue to prepare a table for us in the presence of our enemies, and this isn't just people.
These are the opposing forces, the forces that oppose us, resist us, resist the promises of God in our lives.
We thank you for the reminder tonight that the Prince of Persia tried to hold up the answer, even in the Bible, and God, you brought the solution.
You already sent the answer, and you brought the solution in that situation.
And even though Jacob had to wrestle with the angel of the Lord in that situation and in the waiting process, God, you brought that answer.
And we just thank you for answers and solutions in areas where we've been just really feeling discouraged, God.
Thank you.
Where we felt fear in the last recent season, God,
we thank you for faith being imparted unto us,
that the gift of faith would come,
that you would enable us to grow in the gift of faith.
And I love the reminder right now, Lord,
that as I even asked for that for us,
that that comes through learning and experience.
And sometimes it comes through trials,
that we grow our faith as we walk through,
as we walk by faith, ladies, and not by sight.
And Lord, I thank you that it's not by might nor by power,
but it's by your spirit, Lord.
So we just ask for your spirit to come
and move and weave in our lives.
And yeah, Holy Spirit,
that you would just kind of clean up the clutter
and the things that are blocking us
from receiving the fullness of God's truth
and promises for us.
I don't know if y'all have ever been in water
where you can't really see what's down underneath
and there's muck and mire
and it's yucky kind of on the bottom
and you're kind of walking, but it feels sludgy,
feels sludgy.
And I just, I had that kind of thought
as I was praying about God,
removing the obstacles that are keeping us
from receiving the promises that some of us were walking
and it just feels like sludge.
It feels so hard,
but God's saying,
he's going to make it a lot easier for you
in the days to come,
that he's gonna remove all the muck and mire off of you.
And he's gonna set your feet on the rock.
The rock is him, you all, if you didn't know.
All right, welcome back.
So glad to see all of you.
I know that was so quick tonight.
I hope you had some good conversations.
You'll get to have more conversations next week.
I wanna show you very quickly
what the activation for this week is,
and then I'm gonna open up for group coaching, okay?
All right, this one.
Ooh, I forgot to, there we go.
All right, so the activation is this.
It's a silhouette activation.
Y'all, it doesn't have to look like this.
I'm gonna show you several different examples,
but here's what I want you to do.
I want you just to draw an outline of yourself.
It doesn't have to be super fancy or creative or artistic.
It can be if you want.
The goal is to do what I'm about to tell you next.
So the silhouettes, the beginning,
you just draw that outline of yourself.
Then I want you to ask God,
who do you say that I am?
God, who do you say that I am?
God, what do you wanna tell me about how you see me?
And they might be words, they might be phrases,
they might be songs,
they might be like other things of declarations.
If there's anything negative,
it doesn't go on this silhouette, ladies.
Only positive things are gonna go on this silhouette, okay?
If you hear anything negative,
those are gonna go on a separate piece of paper,
and then you're gonna cross it out
because God doesn't speak negative things over you.
That's from the enemy.
That's a lie that you're believing potentially
from the counterfeit identity,
from the trauma that you've been through.
So after you cross it out, you're gonna ask God,
God, I trust that what Bethany said is true,
that this is not truth over me.
So Lord, help me to know what the truth is
to replace this lie.
And you might, some of you have to do that a couple times
because you might tend to hear a lot of negative stuff.
And so once you get to the positive,
well, then that positive can go onto this silhouette.
Here's the first example.
This young lady really struggled
with seeing herself on camera, y'all.
And when she did this exercise,
not only did she have all these beautiful words
that God spoke over her,
but she felt led to put flowers over her eyes
to represent that she would see life,
that she would begin to love the view of herself
when she would see herself.
This one here, again, just different people's depictions.
There's flourishing, there's life,
some of that has also to do with her heritage
and her background and really like God blessing
who he created her to be.
And then she wrote some on her body as well.
Here's one where she's got a princess crown.
I really love to do the activations where you all,
you know, go out and get a tiara, get a crown,
walk in that, you know, really see yourself as a princess.
And so this woman did that
and she also put it on her silhouette.
She also, I love that she did red lips.
She's one of the only people that's ever done that.
And I just think it's really, really awesome.
Everybody's interpretation is very different.
This one, she titled it, The Real Me,
and wrote down all the words that God was speaking over her
and that was her silhouette.
You can kind of see everybody has a different perception.
This again, perfect.
It's okay if you don't have eyes on yours.
It's okay if you don't have lips.
This is beautiful.
This lady felt led to highlight the words free and seen.
Even though God was speaking all of these words to her,
she said God was really nudging her to focus
on those two words in this season.
Okay.
Here's another one.
I'm gonna start to go through these a little quicker.
And I love, look at this.
She put her freckles on there, y'all.
Isn't this awesome?
I think this is such a beautiful way to.
to own who you are.
This is the last one, again, another one with the crown.
I love it.
She did a different word for every kind of tip on the crown
as you see there.
Y'all, I want you to really understand
that this process, doing this,
I know some of you get scared, okay?
And some of you shy away from doing this,
but I promise if you will lean into this
and do this with the Lord,
it could change some of your lives.
And I wanna encourage you to put them up
where you can see them often and partner with the things
that God has spoken over you in truth in life, okay?
All right, who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in your private breakout group?
Awesome, Maureen, go ahead.
So the question was, in what ways
does this enemy challenge the real me
and what does he often use?
So I shared that one of my greatest struggles,
and not so much now, I've done so much work,
but in the past, the enemy used to challenge me
by making me question like my worth to God.
And he used comparison a lot
to really get a hold of my heart and say like,
does God, it was the same old thing that he used with Eve,
does God really love you?
He kind of used the same, like, did God really say?
Like, does God really love you
if he's given all these things to other people and not you?
Everybody else, but not you,
it was kind of like the recurring theme in my mind.
So much so that I would have to feel like
I'd have to kind of like settle
for what I could expect from God.
So he made me question who I was to God
and he also made me question who God was to me.
And so it really misplaced me and God.
And it was almost like, okay, well,
I guess I'm just gonna have to settle
for whatever he gives me because I wasn't his daughter,
I was like this peasant that just had to take
whatever scraps God would give me almost, right?
And even saying that out loud, that is such a lie
because God is not, he is not stingy.
And yes, I had to wrestle with letting go of like,
I didn't have a plan B for what I thought
would be a good future and yet God is good
and he only gives good things.
And because my mind didn't have a plan B
and was so holding tightly to what I thought
life would turn out to look like,
he's taught me to kind of hold that loosely
and lean into who he is and trust that like,
whatever the outcome is,
it's like, he's not gonna make me settle.
It's going to be good.
Not because I deserve it, not because I worked for it,
but because God himself is good.
So he's not, there won't be disappointment.
I don't think I've ever been more hope-filled
in my singleness than I am today.
And I'm like much older than I was
when I went through this process.
So I could sit here and be like, gosh, you know what?
I lost all my prime years and there's just no way.
But then again, that's the enemy using a lie
about who God is and really challenging what I believe
about who God is and what he's capable of
to get me to expect so much less.
And so, yeah.
Oh, Bethany, I think you're on mute.
Thank you.
Remember last week or the week before, ladies,
for those that have been here for a few weeks,
I said, the enemy's always gonna come
and he's gonna offer you every lie he can offer you, okay?
That's what Maureen's saying.
Like the reality is, is everything that we go through,
the enemy's always gonna try to come and offer.
And it's up to us to choose to not eat off of that stuff.
And so I love that Maureen pulled out
that she's like, you know what?
And so I love that Maureen pulled out
that she used to think like a peasant.
We're talking about, you know, thinking like a princess
and thinking like royalty.
Well, the opposite of that is a peasant, is a slave,
is somebody that, you know, again,
typically doesn't have fine linens, if you will.
And it's not about necessarily the dress, ladies.
Obviously, I believe God wants good things for us
even with that.
But just, you know, in our heart posture,
what do you really believe about yourself?
I'm gonna tell you what,
something I feel led to say right now,
and ladies, I don't, this is not to shame anyone
that's ever made this mistake
because I've made this mistake before, okay?
But any of you who feel like you have to sleep with a guy
to keep a guy, that is peasant living, all right?
God has a man for you that will literally fight and honor like war for that covenant, war for that blessing.
And I want to encourage those of you, if you've ever struggled with this in the past, to not settle anymore.
Guess what? God will make it great when you meet your spirit mate.
Yeah, I used to struggle with it too. Having been sexually abused, I literally had no boundaries, y'all.
Those were blown out of the water when I was six years old. It's really sad to say it out loud.
At six years old, and that's the earliest memory I have. I don't even know if it happened before that.
And so, yeah, I mean, I felt like, man, I don't know. This is hard. This is so hard.
But God taught me. He taught me how to walk in the fruits of the spirit of self-control.
And I'm not saying it was easy, but I am saying it was worth it. 100%. I'm so glad that I fought for that.
My family, for generations, has lost the war to the spirit of lust.
And I got to a point where I just said, no more of this. No more of this, God.
I need you to help me to overcome this, not just for myself, but for my kids, for my generations behind us.
Like, I don't want them to war with what I'm warring with right now. And I'm going to fight for them.
And so for some of you, I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you to partner with that.
I haven't talked about that on the Real Me session. I don't know. I don't think ever.
But for whatever reason, tonight wanted that to come out. So I encourage you to partner with what God has for you.
He has blessings and love and for you to be valued and for you to be fully loved and fully known that your worth would be like as rubies.
Right. The Bible talks about our worth being far more than rubies. Think about that.
In every way that you would be honored. It's beautiful. It's really powerful.
Maureen, thanks for kicking us off on that tonight. Katie, go ahead.
So mine was competition or I'm sorry, comparison as well.
Not a person that seeks any kind of competition whatsoever.
But comparison is just always been a downfall for me. I love my children.
My son's over here making a bunch of noise. So I apologize.
My kids are 17 and 21 now, and I love them to death.
They're just an amazing blessing. But I never wanted children.
I always wanted a husband that I could go do everything with and travel and just have a best friend.
And I've never had that. My kids have been my best friend while I parent.
I'm not one of those best friend parents. But anyway, I constantly volunteer at church.
I work hard. I've raised two children their whole lives by myself.
And it's like, why do all these people get to have all of the above?
They get to have the husband, the house, the kids, the not have to work.
They get to go on vacations. They get all these things.
And I know that that is the enemy making everything look perfect. It's not.
And then I have to remind myself and I reminded my daughter of this yesterday because she was kind of stuck in that thought process too.
But I was like, our reward isn't here. It's in heaven.
We serve and we do a lot with our church. We do a huge thing with our kids ministry.
And I keep reminding her, we're leading people to know God and to feel God's love.
That'll be a way bigger reward in heaven.
These people may have this material stuff, but they literally may burn in hell for eternity.
But I definitely struggle with comparison on so many different aspects.
Yeah, I can relate to that as well.
And I really want to pull out something that you said here.
Why do they get to have fill in the blank? And I don't.
Okay, I want anyone that can relate to that question.
Go ahead and chime in the chat. Me too. Just say me too.
We'll see you. We know what you're responding to.
Yeah, so number one, I wanted you to know that you're not alone.
Number two, I want to encourage all of you to come out of alignment with that statement.
Okay, here's why.
I know that sometimes it's hard when we see people having things that we believe.
Like we've been believing for stuff and we've been praying for it.
And it does feel like even though we don't want to call it this, we feel like God's withholding from us.
And yes, I love it.
So beautiful that you're trying to focus on the goodness of serving and the beauty of what you're going to experience.
experience. Y'all, I don't know if you know this, but there's no
marriage in heaven. I remember the first time my husband told
me that and I like almost cried. I don't know that I ever fully
realized that until Brian, my husband, who's a pastor told me
that and I was like, bless me. What? No, I didn't say that. But
I just y'all it was kind of like a shock. Like, oh my gosh, like
I had to really deal with that in the sense of like feeling
lost. Well, that's I'm not gonna feel lost you all because we're
gonna have all this amazing stuff that we're experiencing,
but I'm not saying don't hope for your spirit mate. So don't
hear what I'm not saying. But I feel like that's important to
point out because our time here on earth is very small. Y'all,
it's very small, but eternity is forever. And so instead of us
saying, God, why aren't you giving this to me? Why are you
withholding? Even though, again, we're not maybe saying
that those words, but internally, we believe that
stuff. What if we partner with God, thank you for sending my
spirit mate. God, thank you. He's on the way. God, thank you
so much for leading me to my spirit mate, my spirit mate to
me where we just start partnering with what God's
already doing. Because we believe by faith that he's
bringing that into our life. It's not name it, claim it. But
I if God's given you a promise, do you know that you can partner
with it and start thanking him for it before it's even here?
You can. And I want to encourage you to do that. And so, Katie, I
want to encourage you to partner with you are a bride. And you
are a best friend to your spirit mate. And he's coming soon and
very soon.
And I don't want anybody to think I'm not grateful for my
children. Like I love my children. And I'm so thankful
they're good children. And like, I feel bad sometimes when I say
that out loud, because I'm like, I don't ever want somebody to be
like, Oh, you want to trade it out? I don't know.
Here, let's work on this. Let's work on this. You don't even
have to do what you're doing right now.
Okay, explaining why I said something.
Well, yeah. And this is the some, there's a lot of people
that struggle with this, you feel guilty for saying what you
actually want. And it doesn't mean you don't want your kids.
It just means that you really want and desire a husband, and a
spirit mate and someone to run the race with in life, in
addition to your kids. So you you don't have to explain you
don't have to feel any. And not that you did. But like for
anyone else. You don't have to feel shame or guilt for saying
out loud what you want. God put that desire in you. So I want
you just to receive that Katie, okay, you don't ever have to
apologize again for saying that. And I want you to
practice saying it out loud more often. Because God wants to hear
you say in agreement, God, thank you for sending me a spirit
mate. God, thank you for hearing the desire, like responding to
the desires of my heart. And helping me to understand it's
okay for me to not only need this, or want this but need
this.
And yes, y'all I did say need.
Our spirit mates do things in our lives that we don't even
fully comprehend that we need until we encounter an experience
where they're giving us something that we need. Okay.
And some of you that have been hurt by men, you might not even
be able to comprehend that right now. But you'll get there. Just
continue to surrender the negative things you think about
men and receive truth about men and start speaking good things
over men. Remember, there's power in our words. So guess
what, ladies, if you're asking God to give you a spirit mate,
and all you do is say negative things about men or think
negative things about men, isn't it going to be hard where the
bitter water and the sweet water, they can't come out of
the same place? Well, guess what, if we're speaking a lot of
negative, it's really hard for God to send us a blessing of a
man. That's good, isn't it?
All right, let's control our thoughts and our words. All
right. Katie, thanks for sharing. Hilda, go ahead.
Hi, hi. Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? I can. Oh my goodness. So this
one hit home. Literally, I've been really getting really close
with the Lord. And I've been getting prayed for at church and
everything about this. And so this was spot on. I don't have
I don't have just one. I have several. Distraction, focus.
Shame of my authentic self. Something's wrong. I'm too
chatty.
beyond to this. I may go on and on or give unsolicited advice.
That's why you don't have any friends or you don't, you know,
and, and, you know, and look at you and you could have, you
could have had could have been doing more by now. And you're
not, you know, your business hasn't taken off yet. And
you're still single. And there's definitely something wrong with
you because you haven't been able to have to keep a man. The
guys that you've had, you know, you know, you know, didn't, you
know, you were like, you know, treated didn't treat you better
because you weren't, you know, you know, that was the kind of
quality that you were giving, like, that's, these things come
over and over failure, fear. And then it just, it literally
suppresses me. And it really gives me like, you know, it
makes me it used to make me more now I'm a lot better, but would
bring me down more depressed. And then it would just cause me
to lose who I really am. And that light doesn't show as much
and then my my confidence gets affected. And when you don't
have a you don't have confidence. It's not just only
with a man, but it's like, am I parenting? Right? Am I? Am I
making the right choices every day to get to my purpose? I want
to get to I said, Lord, I want to get to my purpose. I want to
I want that man that's gonna am I going the right now I start
self doubting self doubting I'm like, and I go back and I wind
up and then I wind up just getting kind of lost. And then I
get stuck. Yeah. So that's, that's me. That's
how to thank you for sharing that about yourself. I have a
couple questions for you. Who's the first person that told you
that you were too chatty? Do you remember?
My mom?
Okay, can you tell me why she said that to you?
I was always I'm the oldest of the three. And I've always had
that higher energy. And so she's like, she's always said
that I was loud. She never explained to me why she's just
like, I'm just like, I'm loud. And she I and I did part in part
of my healing, I found out through like, relationships when
I was doing some work before this program about, you know,
attachment styles, you know, and all that attachment theory
thing. So I was looking for validation. I was what my mom
didn't give me, which is was like, I wanted to hear from her.
You know, like you did, you know, you're doing good, or
you're trying, you know, or whatever. It was never that it
was like, I was always, it was never like, I never heard like a
good positive thing. And so my mom was very to herself, but
whatever would come out would be only when I would, you know,
either would be either too loud or to this or to that, you know,
and she then the loudness, she thought it was me just being
rebellious, or me being just, you know, like, just kind of
like, there was something wrong with me, you know, and literally
every single guy that I have allowed in my life has, has, you
know, probably seen that about me that that confidence is not
fair. And, and I, you know, and I allowed a lot of things that
I would now that I've seen in a different lens would never have.
Yeah, allowed that, you know, and it's, you know, and it took
me a lot, I had to forgive mom, it was a lot, I had to forgive
my mom, I had to go through that process to and give her grace,
give myself grace, we're in a better place now. But it's like,
you know, it's so many years, Bethany, it's so many years, you
know, it's, you know, and so the enemy keeps, you know, through
relationships, and through things that are that fail in my
life. It's right there, front and center. It's like, almost
that reminds me that, that it comes back.
Yes. So the reason I asked you, out of all the things you said,
I felt like God highlighted the two chatted to me. And even
though you've done work on that before, when I encourage you to
start coming out of agreement and alignment with the lie that
you're too loud. And you're too chatty. Because here's the
thing, ladies, when we when people say those things, and
hey, maybe we were, okay, maybe we were a little chatty, maybe
we were loud in certain circumstances or whatever. But
the more people speak those things over us, the more it
reinforces that. And so we don't even realize
that we partner with that.
And then we carry that into relationships.
Okay.
And so what occurred you to come out of alignment
and agreement with those things?
And then here's the other question I have for you.
And try to answer this in like a sentence or two.
What area of your authentic self
do you struggle with shame the most?
Like is this a cultural identity struggle?
Is this a personality?
Like what areas of your authentic self
do you have shame regarding?
It's not called, I wouldn't say it's cultural.
I would just, I think it's,
it's, well, my mom, like I'm,
so like the boys get treated better than my, like than me.
I was always the one, like I was trying to help mom,
like helping the family all the time.
I was one of those, you know?
And so, yeah, I was always kind of,
the more I helped, the more I, more things that I did,
you know, I was always the one
that was always constantly helping.
I think that just success,
I wasn't the one that had like the success.
Like my mom wanted me to go to college,
wanted me to do this, wanted me to do that.
I didn't have the success.
So those, I don't know if that answers your question,
but those two things.
It does, it does.
I think it's helping us to get there.
I want to make sure that you don't have a struggle
internally with your actual like core
of who God created you to be.
Okay.
Because here's the thing, we're all created differently.
And so if your entire life,
you've been shamed to feel that you're not good enough
through the voice of the enemy,
even though it came through other people
like your mom or whoever.
Yeah.
That you're not partnering with,
because what you just,
when I asked about your authentic self,
you went to the boys got treated better, okay?
And that probably, in my family, it's interesting.
You wouldn't know this about me,
but the same thing happened.
My mom's mom, where all the abuse came down
through my mom's family.
My mom's mom favored the boys always.
And then my mom did the same thing with my brothers,
but my brothers were the abusers.
And so then even when I told,
my mom like mistreated me and was mean to me
for literally a whole day, she didn't speak to me.
And so there was a lot of things in my life,
in my healing journey,
where I had to understand
that I actually had resentment towards men
because my mom always favored the boys.
You know, and I had a lot of agreement,
alignment with that.
And then also what you said is they always did better
and I didn't have success.
And so I want to encourage you,
because you said a little bit ago too,
could have been doing more by now.
So I feel like there is an internal struggle
that you haven't achieved what you need to achieve by now
or something that's going on internally.
And so the more that you come out of agreement
and alignment with these lies
that you've been partnering with,
they were spoken over you.
So it's a subconscious thing.
It's not like you're trying to do that,
but I want to encourage you,
as you're doing this silhouette,
really ask the Lord to show you,
who did he create you to be?
And that you'll be able to partner with that
and live into that.
And I want you to kind of take it a step further
and ask God to define success for you.
Okay.
Because I think that you need to hear
what God's version of success is,
and then you can kind of start partnering with that.
And his version of success is way different
than the world's version of success,
or our parents' version of success and all that.
But once you hear it from him,
I want to encourage you to come in the group
and I want to hear from you,
like in the app group,
I want to hear what you hear in response
to that success version, okay?
Yeah, thank you for that.
Because all I hear,
I've never heard anything good about me.
So I don't even,
so yeah, I've just been constantly on like,
on trying to be successful,
trying to get out of the, you know, try to,
so it's been that kind of a journey for a long time now,
and I'm exhausted.
And I want to be set free from that
because it just really takes away from my,
you know, again, my confidence.
And then that, you know, I want that feminine.
I want, if someone says to you,
like you were saying earlier today,
you know, like people will speak to you,
like, you know, in a certain kind of way
that may just be kind of negative towards you.
And it's not necessarily something.
that you're doing wrong. It's just that that's that there, there's, you know, there's spirit
speaking like that. But, and then, so I, I would always take it to heart. Like when somebody would
say something like that, I would get like, I would, it would sting me. It would sting me so
bad when I would get feedback, like, Oh, you know? Yeah. So. Yeah. So when you do this exercise
Hilda, or for anyone else that really struggles to heal, hear positive things about yourself,
if you need to get out that revealing for healing cycle and help yourself, remember that if you
have a negative emotion or a negative thought about yourself, you can use that revealing for
healing cycle to help you come all the way through to the truth. Okay. Super important.
If you're not sure how to get to the truth that I was talking about earlier, like you're going to
write the negative, negative things on the paper and then cross that out and ask God for the truth.
If you don't know how to get to the truth, that revealing for healing cycle is your tool
to help you get there. Okay. Hilda, thank you so much for sharing. That was incredible.
So awesome. So I have, Oh, I had two Sarah's up, but now I just want Sarah. So Sarah,
go ahead. You can share. So I said that mine was imitation, which I actually didn't realize
until tonight that I really do that. I imitate other people. And I think because I feel like
whatever they're doing or however they're being is probably the right way or the normal way and
whatever, if I'm doing something different, I'm probably being weird. And so yeah, so I find
myself doing that and yeah. And I think a lot of it too, is around personality for me feeling like,
and I think, I think part of that comes from growing up because I, I was very happy, very
joyful and you know, the funny one in my family. And so, and, and my, like my dad and my sister
are on the quieter side, more introverted. I, I, yeah. And I think that I was kind of made fun of
a lot for, um, for being happy, for being joyful, for, you know, for my personality. And so I kind
of felt like there was something wrong with it. And I feel like I kind of shut it down a little
bit along the way. Hey, we'll get ready to bring that back out because that's what tonight is kind
of like affirming in you. And you said something that really stood out to me. You said, you know,
other people do it the right way, the normal way. So I feel like, you know, just as you continue to
heal. And even if you've already forgiven your dad and your sister, you know, or whoever made
fun of you for being funny and bubbly and joyful, I want to encourage you to do forgiveness prayer
sheet around that specifically. Um, because I feel like this normal way partners with that,
like almost as if you being joyful and bubbly and funny, wasn't normal or something. And I want to
really make sure that you're not aligning with that because I, I, I see that God created you.
And I hear what you're saying. God didn't create you to be like your dad and your sister. He
created you to be the way that he created you. And the other thing that you said is I'm probably
being weird. And that's a very strong statement, you know, about yourself, Sarah, you're not weird.
And I want to just say that out loud over you tonight. God does not say that you're weird.
He thinks you're incredible and amazing. And you bring, as I declared that scripture over all of
you, that God colors into the world. So when you're being joyful, when you're being bubbly
and funny, you make other people feel alive. And I just don't want the enemy to use those lies over
you anymore, because I feel like it has pressed you down and it's caused you to label yourself
as weird. And you're not. And the other thing that came to me is I, I have a friend that,
and this may not be you, but I just want to use it for context on this whole,
like when we call ourselves weird, or we, you know, even, Hey, dare I say, some of us say we're
stupid. We call ourselves stupid and we shouldn't say those things, ladies. I've done it too,
but I thank God I don't do that anymore. But my friend, when she was younger,
she went through abuse when she was really young and had a really tough time as a kid.
Um, and because of that kind of kept to herself in school, read a lot, didn't run and play as
kind of freely as some of the other kids. And some of the kids made fun of her about that.
And so she partnered with the lie that she was weird. And one day, um, I was, we're friends,
but we were kind of doing a heartwork session and, and she just said, I'm sorry, I'm just being so
weird. And she wasn't, you all, she was just, she was literally just expressing something,
but that's how we.
got to the core of like, wait a minute,
where's this coming from?
You're not weird.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
And so we started doing some heart work
and that's how I found out about the kids in school.
And we're all, we all love different things.
And as kids, unfortunately, we don't understand
that it's okay for people to be different than us.
And some adults, because they're hurt people, they're broken
and they don't know how to allow someone else to shine
if they don't feel shiny, if you will.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
And so I just want to encourage you
to keep coming out of that.
I think tonight is going to be a really big night for you
in that sense.
So you don't have to imitate them anymore
and you don't have to try to be like them.
You don't have to like, what does it say?
That saying, don't try to fit a round peg in a square
or a square peg in a round hole or something like that.
Totally mess that up.
But that's what it makes me think of.
You weren't made to fit in the same hole that they fit in.
And I'm sorry if that ever made you feel
like you were an outsider or anything like that.
But even as you're doing the forgiveness prayer sheet
and do a little bit more revealing for healing,
ask the Lord to show you times where you felt left out
or you felt minimized because I think this is going to be
really a big part of your healing process, genuinely.
Yeah.
So good.
Sarah, thank you for sharing that.
Do you have any questions?
Like left out and minimized in what kind of like context?
Well, sometimes,
cause you said my dad and my sister were quiet
and I wasn't.
Okay.
And so not that that's bad,
but sometimes what can happen in families and dynamics
and it might not have been the case in yours.
Okay.
So I'm just kind of putting this out there as a seed
and let's see what God might reveal.
But like sometimes,
like if the parent and the child are similar
and the other kid isn't,
well, it feels like that this kid over here
is having a hard time fitting in.
So an example I'll give you, it's different,
but my spiritual daughters, Olivia is the youngest.
She is so talented with cars.
She loves cars.
Well, her dad worked in a car place
where they did car repairs, but he was the sales guy.
Short of it is that Olivia and her dad could connect
in this way that Mikayla could never connect in.
Mikayla is very artsy, very anointed like musician
and very craftsy, like all of those things.
And her dad wasn't, he was those things in some way,
but not to the fullness that she was.
It created this big separation between them
and she always felt on the outside.
And so again, might not be the case in your family,
but I just want you to explore that and just ask the Lord,
was there any, because you said they made fun of you a lot.
So I don't know who made fun of you.
If it was kids at school,
it might've been there versus at home, but it's just-
It was family.
Okay, okay.
So in that regard, because of being made fun of,
like what kind of feelings did you feel?
And asking the Lord to reveal those things
so that you can continue to be healed and set free from that.
Yeah, because as I was talking to you a little while ago,
it was causing emotion in you.
And so I know that there's more there.
Yeah, yeah.
Great question.
Awesome.
Dana, go ahead.
Yes, so comparison is a big thing for me
and not ever feeling good enough.
And I've realized I don't feel wanted
and I don't know how to feel wanted yet.
But I, so then I tried to do all these things and think,
well, if only I was harder working at that
or more clever at that or this or that.
And I'm always feeling like the third wheel around friends,
et cetera, they don't create that for me.
That's just a feeling I carry with me
and I just wanna get out of there.
But the comparison thing really spoke to me.
Where do you see it the most, with friends or?
I see it with friends.
I see it at work a lot.
And then just in wondering,
will a man ever actually want me and love me?
Okay.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you recall,
and if you don't know the answer, it's totally fine.
Do you recall ever feeling abandoned as a kid in any way
or neglected?
Very much so.
I was adopted as an infant and my,
adopted parents who are my parents, they just weren't close enough with me.
Tell me what that means to you.
That means I was very lonely and that I wasn't, I wasn't ever their own and I could never be
and I could never be really understood and accepted for all of me.
Okay, so did they hug you? Did they cuddle you? Like, I'm just, I want to know a little
bit more about this. Did you experience physical love and embrace from your parents or no?
I did, but my mother, I felt like always stopped before I was ready to.
Okay, so she pulled away from the hug more quickly than you did. Okay, and so do you recall,
did that cause rejection feelings in you? Very much so and feeling like, you know,
how like you're hungry and you eat, but you never get satisfied because you haven't quite had enough.
Okay. So one of the tricky things, and you may already know this. So for those of you that don't
though, if a woman is pregnant with a baby and for whatever reason, you know, it could be trauma.
It could have been, they got pregnant before they were ready to be pregnant, whatever the case may
be. So I'm not faulting anyone when I say this, I try to preface things so people don't receive
them wrong. If someone didn't want a baby was unexpected, let's call it an unexpected pregnancy.
Okay. They can actually release chemicals to the baby that caused the child to feel rejection
and experience rejection, even in, in the womb. Okay. It's proven. And so Dana, what I'm hearing
is some of that. Okay. Because, and again, it doesn't mean that your mom, your adoptive mother
couldn't have embraced you longer, but what I'm hearing is the wound was already there. Okay.
And we do know that like, sometimes when people are adopted, that, that is something I'm experiencing
with a lot of individuals that have come through our program that have experienced adoption. There
is this deep wound of rejection, abandonment, even when they did have good parents. And kind
of what the reason I asked you like, Hey, did your mom embrace you? Did your parents hug on you?
Because I was feeling like the depth of your loneliness, honestly,
couldn't be satisfied by a person. Does that make sense? And so you were longing for that to be
satisfied by them, rightfully so as a kid, we don't know any better when we're kids,
but they couldn't fill the void that only God can fill and heal. Okay. And so I want to encourage
you, even if you've already done this before in your past, I want to encourage you to ask Jesus
to reveal where he was the day you were born. Okay. And even before you were born, just like,
what does he want you to know about your destiny here? And specifically his love towards you.
I want you to know that you can experience healing what I'm going to call it tonight is
in the gap. Okay. What I mean by that is from the moment you were conceived,
I feel the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Jesus. From the moment you were conceived to the moment that
your parents adopted you, there was a gap. Okay. And I feel like the things that you're experiencing
and you're, you said, I don't feel wanted. And that was like huge indicator light to me.
So I believe it's in that gap time that we need, we need Jesus to come in and heal the wounds
in there. And I don't want you to go digging. I just want you to invite him to start showing you
the depth of his love for you in that, that time, that void that was created, that
your parents struggled to fill. Does that make sense? What I'm saying?
Completely. Okay. You're welcome. And here's another thing. I'm, I just heard the Lord say
to, um, I really want to encourage you to forgive your adoptive parents
because here's why I don't, I mean, I don't know the whole story. I don't know how it was
for you with them growing up, but I do feel like.
like there's some resentment towards them, because they
couldn't fill that void. But they were never going to be able
to. Okay. And so forgiving them. And I do believe I don't, again,
I don't know your parents, but I really genuinely my spirit feel
like they did the best that they could. And sometimes to ladies.
The other thing I want to mention here is if we have
someone who hugs us, and they pull away quickly, it could be
just some people aren't huggers. Some people, you know, when they
feel that intimacy, whoo, it's scary a little bit, right. And
so they might pull away a little quicker. And so that might be
the case a little bit too. But through prayer, you'll, you'll
know more about that. But those couple things specifically,
let's start there. And let's see what God shows you. I really am
excited to see and I would love for you to come into the
grouping, just kind of share what you're hearing. And even if
it takes a few weeks, okay, Dana, don't feel like you got to
rush this. But come into the group and let me know kind of
what you're hearing. I want to make sure that you're hearing
clearly. And what I mean by that is that you're hearing good
things, okay, and that you're, you're moving from where you are
tonight, further into truth and healing in the gap places. And
that's going to change how you feel regarding people even
wanting you to be around. All right. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. Thanks for sharing so vulnerably with us.
Yeah, and you know, it's interesting, y'all. As a, you
know, I've always felt called to adopt. That's one of the biggest,
you know, things I've prayed about is, you know, the
children and them being able to receive love. And to know really
how wanted they are. But I know that that is a struggle, you
know, it's real. So appreciate you. And let's see, is it Nari?
And for those of you that need to jump off, it's 937. I want to
acknowledge that I am gonna, I just nobody else put your hands
up. I am gonna let Nari and Tatiana, Susan and Ruth share.
Okay. Go ahead, Nari.
Yes. Hi. Can you hear me?
I can.
Okay, this is my first time sharing. I thought I would just
go ahead and do it. I have been coming to the meetings, but I
just thought that this would be a good time to share. So I'm
just, I have a lot to say. I'm kind of echoing a lot of what
other people said in the room, or virtually, just kind of
feeling that I'm not worthy or not enough to be in a
relationship or that I have to kind of earn or prove my love
for someone. And that usually bleeds out in like doing too
much or even in the past, just like, like, you know, violating
my own boundaries, my own physical boundaries, or
believing that I have to like, you know, I have to be like,
more successful or more physically attractive to be
accepted or wanted by someone. And it's interesting, because I
was also reflecting, like, this is kind of how I also show up in
my relationship with God in a way I always feel like I have to
be performing well, or like in his good graces, so to speak, in
order to be blessed by him. So if I like sin or mess up, it
almost like throws me off. And then I just kind of, you know,
feel like, oh, like, you know, he's disappointed. I'm like, it
kind of it's kind of that same dynamic in a way. And it also
comes out in my relationships as people pleasing. So I tend to
people please, I've gotten a lot better at that I've gotten
better at that in certain relationships, but I find that
in romantic relationships, I do tend to sort of, I sort of hide
or like, sort of dim who I am, because I don't want to come
across as, you know, someone who's too smart or knows a lot.
So I kind of play that like damsel in distress, because I'm
like, Oh, this is what this is what a guy wants, you know, like
he wants a girl who just like, you know, doesn't have an
opinion looks good kind of thing. And then I'm like a
natural connector. So I love connecting with people, but I
find that I do the opposite of that I actually isolate when I'm
like feeling when I'm feeling when I'm struggling with my
feelings. Because I find that being authentic or even like,
being vulnerable is really hard for me. I question people's
intentions, whether they're actually truly genuinely even
care.
Um, and then I also feel like I always have to have it together.
Like I have to be the person who always has their life together and I have had
my life together and it's worked out very well for me, but in, in one ways,
it's left me feeling really lonely because I'm never able to kind of, you
know, let my guard down and be vulnerable.
Um, So those are just some of the main things that came out.
Yeah.
So as you were talking and you did say it a couple of times, but as you were
saying more successful, more, I forget how you said it.
I heard in my spirit, more, more, more, like, I just feel like there is kind of
internally in you this lie that you feel like God is never satisfied with you.
Right.
And so one of the things that you said, well, two things, you
said, earn and prove your love.
Like you got to prove your love to people.
And then we'll get, we'll deal with the dim thing here in a minute too,
because I want to make sure to touch on that, but, um, I'm just curious,
like, when is the first time you felt like you had to earn love?
I can't remember like a specific conscious memory, but, um, like I was
never sort of celebrated for who I am just for who I am a lot of, a lot of
the positive reinforcement I got in my relationships with my parents was
because of the way I performed, whether it was academically, um, whether it
was like, oh, you're behaving well.
So I just knew how to be like someone who behaved well, who did never cause
me problems, who always did well, like no one even, yeah, like I just, I
always kind of always had my, my, uh, like, I don't know, even as a kid,
I just knew that I had to always do well or perform well, because if I
didn't, then it would be conflict.
Okay.
So did your parents withhold love if you didn't do well?
Um, it wasn't so much like intentional withholding.
It just, I wasn't getting any praise.
So like, I liked, I think just even like being acknowledged or praise for the
things I was doing well in, whether it was like school, um, sorry, my earbuds
died and you're still hearing me.
Yeah.
I can still hear you.
Can you hear us?
Yeah.
So I think it was more so that way.
Yeah.
So what are your love languages?
I'm curious.
Do you know?
Yeah.
Is it words of affirmation?
Yeah.
Is that at the top of your list?
It is.
Yeah.
Okay.
So ladies, the reason I asked that is it's really important for y'all
to know what your love languages are.
So if you've never done that quiz, I don't know what the actual website is,
but if you just go on Google and search, uh, Gary Chapman, love languages quiz,
it'll take you to it.
So unfortunately we, not everybody knows how to speak someone else's love language.
And so your parents, it sounds like they were trying to love you and support you,
but maybe they weren't speaking your love language.
Okay.
And so that caused you to feel, um, cause what you said was significant.
I wasn't celebrated for who I am.
Like just a person.
And so, um, again, the silhouette activation is going to be really good for you.
It's going to be good for everybody, but I'm just saying, like, I think it's
going to really hone in on like, who does God say you are?
Like, what does God like?
What makes God smile when he thinks of you?
You know, those are the kinds of questions I would encourage you to ask.
God helped me to hear what you like, what do you say about me?
And, and I'll just be curious to see, it's okay to put the things
about your success on the paper, but.
I want you to lean into more of the other things because you, you need the love and
affirmation about who you are as a person.
And God wants you to hear that.
And that is things that he's speaking over you, but sometimes even our
counterfeit identities, we hear through the voice of, of our, you know, our
parents or that success, you know, cause you said, I also feel like this
affects my relationship with the Lord.
So you already like have this filter that you're never good enough
for him, which isn't true.
And so, you know, really asking the Lord, even when is the first time I
believed the lie that, you know, you were, you're like, you're literally
never satisfied with me, Lord.
And just start asking him those questions and see what he reveals to you.
It could have been something that happened in youth group.
I mean, there's so many things that we go through that we kind of pass over and
again, shove them down because we keep going.
The Lord knows what needs to be revealed to help you get there.
And then the last thing I want to say is on the dimming, who you are.
Okay.
I want to encourage you to not do that anymore.
Okay.
Like live and be who you are.
Be smart.
Don't like minimize that.
But here's the thing, the more that you heal and, and the more that you grow in
the things that we're going to be teaching you, we will talk about how
to walk in the divine feminine.
Okay.
We can be strong and have brilliant minds, but walk in the divine feminine.
We can be smart and wise, but be soft.
Okay.
But being soft is not dimming our, our brains, our thoughts or minimizing, you
know, our values to fit into someone else's box.
Okay.
Um, and, and I think on the, the connection, the more that you heal
regarding your core identity stuff.
That we've been talking about.
I think it's going to help you not go into isolation more.
I think those are connected.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
And ladies on any, anybody, just so I don't have to keep saying it.
If you are processing this stuff that I'm giving you and you're having a hard
time, or you're just like, okay, this is what I'm hearing and I don't
know where to go from here.
If you come into the group and ask us, we'll coach you through how
to take that to the next step.
Okay.
All right.
Um, Ruth, go ahead.
Hi.
Um, so actually what I was going to say, that's why I've been taking
copious notes, it's a combination of what Maureen said, what Sarah
said, and what Mary said.
So I think I was trying to write down everything you said for them.
What really, um, I was going to say, but I guess not what in the group,
but at the beginning you said something.
And in the middle, you said, you know, you spoke about partnering
with God has for you, but right when the call started, you said that I
believe this is the word for someone, make room for the new God has for you.
And I wanted to let you know that I believe that word is for me.
Uh, because I actually had a dream last today, Monday.
So yesterday, um, yesterday morning, um, early in the morning, I had a dream
in along the lines of exactly what you said, and I just wanted to let you
know that that was like a confirmation for me that God, God is trying to,
yeah, something new.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for,
you're so welcome.
I'm excited to hear that.
Yeah.
Thank you for sharing.
Is that all you had?
Yeah.
Because I mean, I feel like what you said for everyone, I can glean from it and I
know we're over time, but yeah, it was just the piece I thought at the beginning,
I was like, Oh my gosh, I have to listen to this again.
And I was trying to write that, what you said.
So yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So glad that you shared with us tonight.
Susan H go ahead.
Hi, sorry.
That's all right.
I stepped into the other room.
And, um, so I'm a little distracted.
This is a really on time lesson for me.
And, um, I had significant breakthrough when I spent a whole week and got caught
up with all the homework and had freedom breakthrough.
And then since I've been back, it's been, it's just been warfare.
So, um, especially this weekend and, um, what was coming up for me is, um,
Oh, what is my counterfeited identity?
I'm really trying to prove who I am to people that I was ministering with.
And, um, uh, comparisons was coming up.
Um, my rejection, this rejection issue that I, um, that I struggled with.
Um, and this, um, I had, I used to have attachment issues, but they come up here
because I was a girl and in my family and oldest and strong willed future leader.
Um, I, I just was left with this abandonment and rejection feeling, um,
most of my life.
And, um, so when I married my husband, um, now ex-husband and, um, it was, um,
a perfect storm.
I mean, it was just a familiar thing.
And so through that, I was abused in every kind of way that you can be abused.
And so, um, and I have a lot more in my story, but what was coming out of this
is, um, fear, um, a lot of fear.
of what the church, other Christians were going to talk to me about. I have church hurt, too.
So, the fear of ministering to others, I don't know, and trusting people who
call themselves Christian, even though my job is to love my neighbor as myself, you know. So,
a lot of that was, I really beat up myself a whole lot. I did not hear from the Spirit
this weekend about a particular thing. And so, when I realized I overstepped somebody's boundaries,
I just had been in beat-up mode all day for the rest of the day. And like, forgive me, Lord.
Forgive me. Forgive me for overstepping bounds. Forgive and repent of things. And a lot of times,
I'll go to my friends. I'll go, I'm so sorry I did that. And they're like, did what?
Yeah. Yeah. So, you're being harsh on yourself is what I'm hearing you say.
Yeah. Yeah. And these rejection issues that I have had so much freedom over
and really operating in this place of myself and my strength and really wanting to abide in God. And
you know, I don't want to forget him. He never forgets me.
Right. So, when you're with people that you were ministering with,
what led you to feel like you had to prove yourself? Can you tell me?
I just had met them. And so, I had just met some people. I had seen them around,
but didn't get to know them. So, I was like, hi, my name is Susan. And I heard somebody
about talking about, you know, somebody was going to give their testimony at this thing.
And I'm like, oh, if you ever need a testimony, they're like, oh, sure,
we would love to hear your testimony. What I didn't do is posture and improve,
pray about the timing of that. So, I had a little tiny bit of a testimony that I told,
and they were very patient and kind about it. But it was about posturing, improving,
like, here I am. I dare you to care about me and align with me and be my friend. I dare you,
you know. Okay. It used to be worse. Yeah, no, no, that's okay. No, that's okay.
So, I want to encourage you on this. You know, you mentioned church hurt and some things there.
And if you're saying that what shows up is I dare you to try to be my friend.
I'm assuming there's hurt with friends there in the past as well. And so, what we need to do is
get to the root of the matter. So, when is the first time you got hurt either in community in
a church or by a friend, maybe both. And really continuing to, even if you've already been doing
the work on that, it's coming up again tonight. So, there's something that God is trying to help
you move into more healing in that area. So, I want to encourage you to really ask the Lord,
when is the first time that I dare you to try to be my friend? And maybe this even started,
I don't know, do you have siblings? Yeah, I have a younger brother. And it started
in my childhood. I know that it did. My brother's younger and he was the perfect child. And man,
is he an amazing, kind, wonderful brother. He really is. But it was when he was the perfect
child and I was not. That's when the comparisons and sabotage began.
Okay. And so, basically, you're going to have to come out of agreement with,
he was perfect and I was not. Yeah.
Okay. So, the more, again, while some of those, maybe there were situations where you responded
differently, reacted differently, whatever you want to say. But the more you partner with,
he was perfect and I wasn't, that's going to continue to keep you separate from him
and other people. And so, we have to start to heal the fissure that's been created there.
Okay. I've been very misunderstood and I've been very misunderstood. And what happens is that
I'll speak something that comes from my heart and sometimes from God and sometimes it has been
construed and flipped around. And then I am left out of
community. Yeah, it has been turned around and misused. And
and so it's a
can you create a post in the group and tell me more like, you
don't have to go into full detail. But I want to know more
what that what that situation and dynamic looked like. Because
I feel like I need to coach you more in depth on this. Yeah.
Yeah, that would be super helpful. And even on the I dare
you like as you pray, like asking the Lord, when is the
first time? You know, you didn't allow someone to enter
relationship with you, basically, because that's what
that question is saying, like, you really can't come near me,
you know, so when did you when was the first time you put walls
up and wouldn't let someone come close to you? And so that's
what I want you to be asking the Lord and then come back and tell
me in the group about that and about what you were just talking
about the church stuff, because I want to I want to work through
that more in depth with you. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You're
welcome. Susan, thank you so much for sharing. Tatiana. Go
ahead.
Hi. Hi, again, I ended up raising my hand because mine I
like after we went to the breakout calls, I realized mine
was jealousy. And I feel like it's not something like it
hasn't been a trend in my life. But it's something that within
the past year has really been like, on my heart. And so last
year, my sister and I, we both did our very first pageant ever.
And it was something that I felt like the Lord had kind of pushed
me to do. And so we ended up going getting we had like a
coach, we like, you know, did the whole thing. It's a lot of
work. And at the state pageant, my sister ended up winning in
her division. So she's Miss Kansas Junior preteen. And then
I was first runner up in mine. And at first, like, I was cool.
You know, I was really happy for like the girl who won in my
division, and my sister and everything, and just
celebrating, but the girl who won in my division. Okay, so
before, like the final composition where she won, there
we had like little hangouts where, you know, like a pajama
party and different little parties for like all the girls
to get to know each other and mix and mingle. And I got along
with like, everyone so well, except that one girl. And from
the first, like, it's so bad, like, the first impression I
have of her, I looked over, and she like, almost like looked me
up and down, and like, was kind of like sizing me up. And so I
just felt like, like, oh, like, I can't be friends with her
because like, she's treating me as competition. That's just how
I took that like, look that she gave me. And um, but like, I
didn't think much of it until after she, you know, she won
and everything. And I like, still felt fine. But then, um,
a few months later, there was a parade and her and my sister
were in it. Um, so of course, I'm there to support. But when
I saw her holding, she was like holding my little sister's
hand. Oh, that made me so mad. That made me so mad because it,
I don't know why. But it was just like, of all the people
like, like, why did she get picked? It just made me, I
don't know, just very upset. Because I feel like when I
interact with it with everyone else, like, she was the only
person that didn't make me feel welcome. And that just got
under my skin. And it like, continues to get under my skin
because like, she's done a lot of work with my little sister,
which is really cool. Like, and I just try to be supportive.
But I just feel like I can't even talk to her. Like, I don't
even want to think about it. But it came up today. And I had a
feeling that even though she looked you up and down, I have
a feeling that there may be something undiscovered for both
of you. If you will choose to forgive her for, for doing that
and really release her from that first impression that wasn't so
good. And let's just see, I know it can be tough. And this is
real stuff. And I appreciate you like sharing. I mean, these are
things. I said that this story earlier today, ladies. You know,
years ago, I went through this situation when I was really
vulnerable. I had been cheated on several times. And not that
this is the same as what you're saying. But I just want to give
some context.
for some other people who might relate in these ways.
And I would be driving home and I would see these women and they were beautiful.
And I would see all these aspects about them and minimize myself in certain ways.
And then I would start thinking negative things about them.
And then I would drive home again and it would happen again.
And I remember just starting to feel frustrated, like, why do I keep thinking these things?
I don't even know these women.
Like, you know, and I just, that's not even who I am.
And so I was just like, God, what's going on?
And the Lord just started speaking to me.
And he said that the enemy is trying to attack you in this area because I've called you to
impact women.
The enemy was trying to get me to talk negative and think negative about women because God
called me to impact women.
And I was like, whoa, okay.
So yeah.
I mean, it wasn't like a, I didn't know that before that moment at all, but it just became
very clear to me.
And so from that day forward, I started, if I had any negative thoughts towards women,
I would flip them and I would just start speaking good things over them because you know what
their beauty didn't make my beauty less.
And so Tatiana, I want you to hear that.
Her winning didn't make you less.
Okay.
I don't know why God chose to allow her to win.
I don't know why he is teaching you and guiding you through this disappointment that you experienced,
but I believe that so much can be gained from it.
You know, us being willing ladies there's so much war among women, you know, and this,
that we have to compete with each other and we look each other up and down and, and sometimes
people do it.
And I've been in a place I've walked into a place and had that happen.
I know it feels horrible.
And actually years ago you wouldn't know this, but way back when I was a little young girl
I was in a pageant too.
And I had a very similar experience happen and I didn't win, but you know what?
When I look back at that, those moments, I'm so proud of myself because I did something
that was amazing.
And I went through interviews and, and you know, had to do the whole walking in the dress.
Thank God I didn't have to do the bathing suit.
That was one of my biggest fears.
But I'm saying that to you to say, you know, if we won't allow the enemy to cause us to
minimize ourselves or feel negative when those circumstances happen, we win.
Okay.
We win.
And you're not less than because she won first place and she isn't going to take the place
in your sister's heart.
That's yours.
You know, and I, I want to, I want to say that's what I think the core of the jealousy
is, is that fear of being replaced and you're not replaceable.
You're pretty special.
And so you don't have to compete for your sister's love.
You don't have to, you know, partner with those lies of the enemy that he's offering
you.
You can partner with the truth that your sister loves you and she can love this other woman
too.
This other young lady, you know, and there's enough room in her heart for both of you without
her competing without there being any competition.
And I'm not saying she's going to love her, but I do want you to kind of all of you kind
of get into that place because in life, you're going to face so many things where the enemy
is going to try to get you to compete and you don't have to.
So forgive her.
Okay.
Use a forgiveness prayer sheet, literally write it out, forgive her for looking you
up and down and any other negative thing you felt from her and release her to the Lord.
Pray for her because maybe she's not even saved, you know, I don't know.
So maybe again, maybe there's something, there's a setup here.
Maybe God's doing something.
And so I want to encourage you to partner with that.
I'm going to read something over you all and then I'm going to pray and I'm going to release
you for the night.
I'm super excited to speak this over you.
This is from the heartwork book and it's amazing.
It's in the last chapter.
I encourage you all to print this out and put it up where you can see it often and read
it over yourself.
Here we go.
I am a world changer, an atmosphere shifter, a light bearer, a truth teller, and a hope
dealer.
My heart is awakening.
It's my time to be made whole.
I contain the beauty of all creation.
The mysteries of the entire universe reside in me.
I am, I am the image of the almighty God, the offspring of the great I am.
I am a beloved daughter of God.
My original.
is one of love, of joy, peace, hope, and innocence.
I was created for community.
I am accepted in the family of God.
I have been created to prosper.
I will not be anyone besides who love God
the Father has made me to be.
From this moment forward every day,
when I look in the mirror,
I'm going to see more and more and more of what God sees.
Father God, we just thank you
for everything that you've accomplished tonight.
We thank you for the invitation to step further
into the fullness of who you originally created us to be.
Help us to continue to partner
with what heaven is saying over us.
Help the ladies as they do their silhouette activations
this week to partner with your truth, to lean in.
God, to hear what your spirit is saying about them
and what your heart feels towards them.
We thank you that you would remove any negative thoughts,
any harmful words that they've heard from the past.
God, help them to receive an upgrade
in the revelation of your heart
and your mind towards them this week.
Help them to have a fresh revelation also of your love.
In Jesus name, amen, amen.
Ladies, have an amazing rest of your night.
We'll be seeing you in the group.
Good night, everyone.