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Hello, welcome. Hello, hello. Welcome back for another amazing Monday evening. A couple

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people still joining in. Welcome. If you are new and you're joining us for the first time,

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this is your first live session. If you can put that in the chat for us so we can welcome

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you, we would love to know who you are and that you're joining us. For those of you that

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are joining us again, this is maybe your second, third, fourth, who knows, but you're here

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and we're so glad that you're joining us again today. I believe that God has some amazing

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things for us to lean into tonight from heaven. Welcome. Hello, ladies. I'm watching the chat

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just to see if anyone new is joining us. Is anyone here for your first time, your first

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live session ever tonight? All right. I think I recognize pretty much all your names, but

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I just wanted to double check. All right. I have just a couple of housekeeping things

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for us tonight. Then I'm going to pass it over to our lovely Annette. If you all have

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never met Annette, Annette, can you wave? Annette is one of our peer coaches in the

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HeartWork Group. You all have seen her maybe from time to time responding to you. I'm so

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glad to have her joining with us tonight. She's going to share a little bit here and

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there throughout the evening so you all can start to get to know her better. Praise God

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she's here joining us and God has good things in store. All right. The housekeeping I have

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for you is for some of you, you may have coaching in your background. You might have counseling

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in your background. You might have ministry experience in your background. No matter where

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you've come from, some of you just are really amazing helpers. I want to encourage you to

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take all your helper hats off in this community, especially in HeartWork. Here's why. Myself

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and the other coaches, we are trained to do this and you all are here to just practice

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receiving. Nobody did anything wrong, but this is just one of those housekeeping things

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I bring up from time to time to remind you that your main role here is to receive. Whatever

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God has for you, that you don't have to quickly give that away to someone else. The other

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reason is this. A lot of times people that are big givers or big helpers, they tend to

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get very distracted from their own healing because they're very busy taking care of other

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people. And so if that is something that you struggle with, you're very good at taking

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care of other people all the time. That might be a distraction the enemy will use for you

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because everybody and your brother, you know how they say that, will have a problem and

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they're going to need your help and they're going to dial you up and be like, hey, I need

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you, right? You're going to have to set some boundaries while you're here in the heartwork

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and probably beyond. For some of you, that's now a habit that you just, it's a go-to for

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you. It's kind of like a fix. And we want you to come away from that and really find

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out who are you if that's not a part of your identity. Okay. It doesn't mean we can't be

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helpers anymore, but when that gets overextended and out of balance, it takes us into

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places that are not safe or healthy for us. And again, we often put off our own needs.

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You know, the airplane you get on, they instruct you, you put your air mat, your mask

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on yourself, the oxygen mask before you put it on your kids. That seems kind of crazy

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as a parent, you know, cause you're thinking about your kid first. But the reality is,

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is if we don't put the mask on ourselves, guess what? We're going to not be able to,

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um, help the other people that are with us. Okay. In our lives. So I want to encourage

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you to go ahead and take those helper fixer hats off and just get in a heart posture to

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receive. Okay. I'm going to pass it over to Annette. Annette has a couple housekeeping

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as well. And then she's going to pray us in before we start tonight.

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Hello, everyone. It's so good to be here with you tonight. Um, I'm actually up in

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Canada. Hope my, I'm praying that my internet connection stays stable the whole time.

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But one way like Bethany talked about to soak things in is to come to Supernatural

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Saturday on Saturdays, this last Saturday morning, Jackie, um, talked about grieving

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with hope each week she shows up and she shows up with something that will bless you. So

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if you have an opportunity to be a part of that, then please join us. Uh, for me, it's

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7am go accordingly for the time zone that you're in. Uh, it's a great way to start the

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day. And secondly, um, as Bethany also said, we jump in the app. Uh, we invite you all

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to jump in there. It takes courage, but when you are able to share what's on your heart

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and what you're struggling with, then that is a really good way to connect with your

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sisters and they can also be blessed and learn and grow through what you share.

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with them and it also gives us an opportunity

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to connect with you and to coach a little bit

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around questions that you have or things that you've shared

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just to help you go just a little bit deeper.

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So those are two things in a way that you can connect

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with us this week and we love to connect with all of you.

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Hey, awesome, do you wanna pray a sin?

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Absolutely.

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Awesome.

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Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the opportunity

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to be together tonight as sisters in Christ

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and your word says that where two or more are gathered

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in your name, you are there.

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And we thank you that you're here among us.

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We invite you in Holy Spirit into each and every life,

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into each and every woman that's represented on this call

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and for those that are gonna watch and replay.

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God, we thank you in advance for the work

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that you're gonna do in each heart

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and in each life and the transformation

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as they continue to seek you

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and grow in their wisdom and understanding

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and allow through full surrender,

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you to transform their heart,

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which is gonna transform their lives Lord

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and bring them into their most authentic self

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as they come into agreement with the truth

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of who you say they are and that allows each of us

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to fulfill the plans and the purposes

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that you have here for us.

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Bless Bethany today as she speaks,

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give her the words that you want her to speak out

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and speak through her to us

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and bless her today on her birthday.

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In your name I pray, amen.

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Amen, amen, amen.

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Praise the Lord, God is so good you all.

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Tonight, we're gonna be tracking through identity and vows,

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in particular inner vows that we tend to make

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because of trauma and as we start identity,

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I want you all,

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I'm gonna go ahead and activate you really quickly.

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I want you to be thinking about,

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thank you everyone for the birthday wishes.

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I want you to be thinking about your life,

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yourself and how you show up in the world

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and in this regard, when something negative happens,

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when pressure is applied, what typically comes out

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and I'm gonna give you a statement

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and I want you to fill in the blank

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and go ahead and put that in the chat for me

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as soon as it comes to you.

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So if you are filling in the blank

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during a difficult time in your life,

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again, when the pressure is applied,

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it's a negative experience, you're going to,

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we all tend to have our go-to internal mental statements

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that we partner with.

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This is the sentence, I am blank

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and I don't want this to be filtered.

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I don't want it to be, oh, I know I have to think positive.

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I wanna just know the raw answer

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when you are going through something hard,

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when something happens and if you have something positive,

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that's totally fine, okay?

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But I want you just to put in anything that comes to mind.

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Okay, I am angry, I am hope-filled, I am not enough,

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I am alone, I'm too much, I'm afraid,

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overwhelmed, get angry, nothing.

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Yeah, totally can feel numb, that's what that is.

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When we feel nothing, I am nothing,

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there's numbness and hopelessness connected there.

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I complain, not worth it, I'm frustrated and overwhelmed.

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Have some more overwhelmed, numb,

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there are always, things are always

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gonna fall apart for me, okay?

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I'm not worth it.

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All right, if you continue to have things

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come up in your spirit, go ahead

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and put those in the chat for me.

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How can I be so stupid?

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You know, stupid came up a lot this afternoon as well.

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People really feeling led to say that they're stupid

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or dumb or anything like that.

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Ladies, isn't it amazing what the enemy

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gets us to partner with when things are hard?

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I want you to be thinking about that

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as we start talking about identity tonight.

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If you remember, last week I talked to you

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about Adam and Eve and when they were in the garden

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and after Adam had eaten of the fruit

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and they realized they were naked and then they hid,

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God comes looking for them and he's looking for them

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in the garden and he says to Adam,

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you know why, like, why did you hide basically?

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Who told you that you were naked?

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And so tonight we're gonna build on that

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and I want you to be thinking again

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about who originally said things to you

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that lead you to these statements

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that you put in the chat tonight.

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What are the things that you've gone through?

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What are the traumas that you've experienced

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that lead you to believe you can't trust anyone anymore?

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You're so dumb, you're so stupid,

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you're hopeless, you're worthless, you're not enough.

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Wherever these originated, sometimes it's because of trauma

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like I said, we partner with lies when that trauma happens

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but sometimes it's because someone has spoken

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something negative over us and we've partnered with it.

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Did you know that I am statements are?

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actually identity forming statements.

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Like when we partner with those,

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we are saying, this is who I am.

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And I wanna encourage you tonight

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to allow the Lord to invite you out of the places and spaces

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where these statements that you put in the chat

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that are not positive,

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to come out of the places where those are existing

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as your main source, as your main go-to,

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and come into alignment with the truth of heaven.

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What is heaven saying over you tonight?

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Remember last week, one of the activations,

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for those of you that were able to get those done,

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way to go.

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For those of you still working on yours,

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I can't wait to see them in the group

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when you're done with them.

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But last week I asked you to ask the Lord,

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Lord, who do you say that I am?

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Lord, what do you wanna say about me?

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And that you would record those

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and capture what the Lord was saying to you.

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That is giving you literally what your new go-to should be.

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Do y'all understand?

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That's why we did that last week,

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because I was preparing you so that this week,

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as you come out of alignment with the I am statements

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that are not healthy, that are not truth,

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you can now have something to stand on that is truth.

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The truth of who God says you are

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is who we should be defined by, what we should stand on.

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And y'all, I have bad days too.

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So I want you to understand,

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we're all gonna face the struggle of our thoughts,

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the limiting belief systems that we've been raised up under,

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orphan mentalities, even some of our parents.

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Do you know that poverty mindset

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isn't about whether or not you have money?

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It's about a posture in your heart.

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There are some people that have a lot of money,

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but they still live in a poverty mentality.

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Always lack, there's never enough.

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Always scraping by internally in their heart

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in some way, shape, or form,

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or stingy and they can't spend,

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they can't spend because of fear at the core.

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So who originally told you that you were naked

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or that you were not enough, that you were a failure?

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Where did that dialogue come from for you?

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Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?

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I want you to be thinking about these things.

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A lot of times, just like in the garden,

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Adam and Eve ate of the fruit,

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and then they saw and realized that they were naked.

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I want you to think about the traumas

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that you've been through

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and the things that you've experienced

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or witnessed that are now causing you

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to believe something false about yourself.

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And this could even be something currently

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that someone said to you that was hurtful and harmful.

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Here's an example of the witnessing it, okay?

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We can go through things that impact us

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without it directly being something

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that we ourselves went through.

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When I was in the fourth grade, about eight years old,

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my mom, my oldest brother, and my sister

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were hit by a drunk driver,

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and it was a very traumatic event.

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It was a very difficult season.

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I was at a friend's house playing,

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and the night that the thing happened,

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I didn't know anything was going on.

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I'm just there having a good time

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with my friends at her birthday party.

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My mom calls, asks to talk to my friend's mom.

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I still didn't think anything about it.

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The next day, my mom came early to pick me up,

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and I remember being so mad, like, why is my mom here?

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She's not supposed to be here now.

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And then I started realizing my uncles were with her

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and my aunts were with her,

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and I was kind of like, why is everyone here?

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It was very like, what's happening right now?

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This whole confusion state.

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And then my mom comes inside and we sit in there.

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I remember just like it was yesterday,

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this like perfect little sitting room.

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They had plastic, you know,

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back in the days they would put plastic

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over their furniture.

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We sat in that room and my mom told me what happened.

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My brother was in a coma for months.

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Like, he was known as one of the best wrestlers

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back then in the area.

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Literally was in a coma so long

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that when he came out of it, praise the Lord,

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he came out of it, but he had to go through rehab

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in a town that was about two hours away.

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So my mom, who was a single mom,

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who didn't have a lot of help,

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now had to go two hours away on a regular basis

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to stay there with my brother and to care for him

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and go back and forth and back and forth.

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My sister that was also in that accident

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had to have brain surgery.

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It was very serious stuff.

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She ended up years later having seizures

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because of the effects of the brain injury.

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Y'all, these are all things that happened

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to my family members.

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It didn't affect me directly,

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but you better believe as a fourth grader, eight-year-old,

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that impacted me because all of a sudden my single,

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my mom, who's a single mom and already barely home

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because she's working multiple jobs, is gone more.

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So my little eight year old self interpreted it as I'm abandoned.

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I'm neglected.

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I didn't know that's what it was back then, but as I've gotten older, that's that timeframe

286
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was a very difficult time for me.

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And I didn't understand why I was always getting put on the back burner, even though I understood.

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I didn't understand.

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Do y'all hear what I'm saying?

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Sometimes we carry these things with us and we are still living today as an adult through

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that eight year old lens.

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So my question for you tonight is have any of you all witnessed or experienced something

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that was traumatic that has impacted you and you might potentially still be showing up

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in the world through that lens from when that happened in your life.

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And if you've done a lot of work around those things, that's amazing.

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But I know it's important that if, even if it comes up, even if you've already dealt

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with it before, if it comes up while you're in the heart work, you all remember, I, I'm

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just asking you, you don't have to go all the way back through all that, but I'm asking

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you to take another peek, another look at that situation with the Lord.

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Because typically if it's coming up while you're here, God is trying to show you something

301
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about it, a new layer of healing, a new revealing for healing so that you can be set free in

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a greater capacity.

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You can receive more healing, more revelation, more insight.

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All right.

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Then also, what did people say about you and to you?

306
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Who does the enemy say that you are?

307
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What is the dialogue?

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Again, the enemy uses people to speak to us in negative ways too, but sometimes he's

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talking to us directly.

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Does anyone ever feel like, man, you wake up and some days it's just like bombarded

311
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in your mind and it's just so heavy.

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It's one thought after another, after another.

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And it feels like you can't even come up for air.

314
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But yeah, that is the assault of the enemy against your mind.

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It's a real thing.

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And then who does God say you are?

317
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Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?

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That's what I'm talking about right now.

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Is it from these traumas?

320
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Is it from the things that you even directly experienced?

321
00:17:14.099 --> 00:17:16.579
Is it from what somebody else said about you?

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Is it from what the enemy is saying about you or what God says about you?

323
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All right.

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I'm going to activate you again.

325
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I want you to, again, don't hold back.

326
00:17:27.079 --> 00:17:28.359
If you have something positive, cool.

327
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If you have something that's not positive, you just put it in here, whatever comes to

328
00:17:32.320 --> 00:17:33.320
you right away.

329
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All right.

330
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Here's the question.

331
00:17:36.320 --> 00:17:41.960
What are two to three words that come to mind right now about who you are?

332
00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:47.520
Two to three words right now, quickly, that come to mind about who you are.

333
00:17:47.520 --> 00:17:54.180
Pamela says, I'm an overcomer, right?

334
00:17:54.180 --> 00:17:55.180
That's awesome.

335
00:17:55.180 --> 00:18:03.220
Brandy says, good child of God, strong, overcomes, royal daughter, Karen, always growing, beautiful,

336
00:18:03.220 --> 00:18:09.620
smart, overwhelmed, lost, empty, people pleaser, conquering, loved, cherished, valued, failure,

337
00:18:09.620 --> 00:18:13.140
a daughter of God, healing, growing, overwhelmed.

338
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These are all coming into the chat.

339
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For those that are watching the replay, these are things ladies are putting in here.

340
00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:20.400
I'm a woman of God, a great daughter, and comical extrovert.

341
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I love that.

342
00:18:21.400 --> 00:18:23.680
Forgotten, just not meant for relationships.

343
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:27.760
All right, Sam W., thanks for being real and honest on that.

344
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Fun, loving, caring, achiever, believer.

345
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:32.680
Sorry, they're going a little fast now.

346
00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:34.680
Growing, nurturing, amazing mom.

347
00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:36.280
I'm tired of being single.

348
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All right.

349
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Unsure, go-getter.

350
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We got more coming in.

351
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All right, ladies, go ahead and keep adding those as they come to you.

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The reason I wanted you to be thinking about who are you, like knowing who you are quickly

353
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and being able to partner with things.

354
00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:55.620
Well, if it's something that's not healthy and if it's something that's not positive,

355
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man, it's not good for us to partner with that, right?

356
00:18:59.060 --> 00:19:02.500
And so tonight I want you to be thinking about your root system.

357
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Just like a tree, a tree has to have roots that go hopefully down deep so it's really

358
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good foundation and when the wind blows and the storm comes, that tree doesn't hopefully

359
00:19:12.100 --> 00:19:14.220
get knocked over super easily.

360
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But what does your root system look like?

361
00:19:17.080 --> 00:19:18.480
What's your soil look like?

362
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:19.480
Where you're planted?

363
00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:21.760
What are you getting your nutrients from?

364
00:19:21.760 --> 00:19:24.880
Are they healthy nutrients or are they things that are harming you?

365
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:29.080
Just like what we put in our bodies, like when we eat things that aren't good, sometimes

366
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we don't feel so good, right?

367
00:19:30.840 --> 00:19:32.920
Well, think about it from that perspective.

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What if someone said something to you and about you and you started partnering with

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00:19:39.280 --> 00:19:45.640
it so long that it grew this root deep down in that is negative?

370
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It's unhealthy.

371
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And that's what's informing your fruit.

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So when people experience you in this world, how do they experience you?

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What is the fruit that they see in your life and from your life and the things that

374
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You're saying, do you know that out of the overflow of the mouth heart,

375
00:20:03.120 --> 00:20:07.040
the mouth speaks. So whatever we're speaking, it's coming from in here,

376
00:20:07.740 --> 00:20:11.560
whatever we're thinking it's coming from in here. It's, and I want to say,

377
00:20:11.600 --> 00:20:14.320
ladies, sometimes the reason I had to start tonight,

378
00:20:15.120 --> 00:20:19.960
the times we notice it the most is when the pressures apply.

379
00:20:21.160 --> 00:20:25.280
I don't know about anybody else, but I think positive things most of the time.

380
00:20:25.280 --> 00:20:29.080
And then some days I feel like I'm getting squished like a big old,

381
00:20:29.240 --> 00:20:31.760
like a grilled cheese, you know,

382
00:20:31.760 --> 00:20:35.720
where they take the press and they just squeeze the thing down. Yeah.

383
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:39.960
The, the olive press, anybody else relate to that pressure feeling?

384
00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:43.280
Well, guess what? Sometimes when that happens,

385
00:20:43.840 --> 00:20:48.120
I'm not so proud of what comes out. Even if I don't speak it out of my mouth,

386
00:20:48.120 --> 00:20:52.000
ladies, sometimes things in my mind that I recognize that I'm partnering with,

387
00:20:53.760 --> 00:20:56.080
it doesn't sound so good. It doesn't look so good.

388
00:20:56.080 --> 00:20:59.400
And it doesn't partner with heaven. And so daily,

389
00:20:59.560 --> 00:21:03.080
I want to encourage you all to be thinking about your root system. You know,

390
00:21:03.080 --> 00:21:05.600
where are you getting those nutrients? What's in your soil.

391
00:21:05.800 --> 00:21:09.040
And remember that everything that goes into our hearts is going to get

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00:21:09.040 --> 00:21:11.160
reproduced. So if we're,

393
00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:15.760
we're meditating on lies like I'm not good enough, I'm a failure.

394
00:21:15.760 --> 00:21:17.680
I'm stupid. Guess what?

395
00:21:18.920 --> 00:21:21.240
That is going to show up in your everyday life,

396
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:25.240
whether you want it to or not, when you encounter people, including men,

397
00:21:25.760 --> 00:21:30.480
and men that are healthy can smell unhealthy from a mile away.

398
00:21:31.080 --> 00:21:34.160
They can smell insecurity from a mile away. So let's,

399
00:21:34.360 --> 00:21:38.880
let's deal with the stuff in our hearts so that we can move forward into healthy

400
00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:43.840
whole relationships to people that are whole

401
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.240
coming together is what makes a whole person. Okay.

402
00:21:49.120 --> 00:21:51.840
But if you got two broken people, guess what?

403
00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:53.280
Or one's hole.

404
00:21:53.280 --> 00:21:57.800
And the other is just still really broken and they come together and makes it

405
00:21:57.800 --> 00:22:00.800
really hard to move forward in a healthy way.

406
00:22:01.040 --> 00:22:04.920
Have you all ever seen a three legged race where the people, you know,

407
00:22:04.920 --> 00:22:09.400
tie their one leg together. And so a couple or team,

408
00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:13.600
instead of having four legs, they T they technically now have three legs.

409
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:15.000
Well,

410
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:20.320
if one of those people sits down or kneels or whatever,

411
00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:23.080
it's going to make it really hard for that other person to walk because they're

412
00:22:23.080 --> 00:22:25.520
going to have to drag them the whole way.

413
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:28.000
If they can even move.

414
00:22:29.360 --> 00:22:33.920
So wouldn't you rather be partnered with someone that's healthy and

415
00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:38.520
whole, and wouldn't you want to be healthy and whole before you meet them?

416
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:42.160
I hope so. So tonight, part of that is, is,

417
00:22:42.200 --> 00:22:43.840
I want to encourage you to come again,

418
00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:47.680
out of alignment with these negative thought processes and the things that were

419
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:51.520
said over you that you are partnering with that are not serving you well.

420
00:22:51.760 --> 00:22:56.280
Luke 6 45 in the NLT version says a good person produces good things from the

421
00:22:56.280 --> 00:22:58.080
treasury of a good heart.

422
00:22:58.080 --> 00:23:02.480
And an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an

423
00:23:02.520 --> 00:23:07.160
evil heart. What you say flows from what's in your heart.

424
00:23:07.840 --> 00:23:11.440
So that's just another version, another way to say what I was saying earlier,

425
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:14.560
out of the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks.

426
00:23:14.560 --> 00:23:18.800
And if we've got unhealthy fruit in there and roots, I'm sorry,

427
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:22.080
unhealthy roots in there and brokenness and fragmentation,

428
00:23:22.080 --> 00:23:26.720
while the fruit is going to be broken and not so lovely for

429
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:29.360
people to eat off of and, you know, grow from,

430
00:23:29.760 --> 00:23:33.240
are your roots giving you life or are they causing you to, to decay?

431
00:23:35.120 --> 00:23:38.400
So how can you tell what's in your roots?

432
00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:40.800
While you look at the fruit in your life.

433
00:23:40.800 --> 00:23:43.880
So I'm going to read a little excerpt from the heart work book to you.

434
00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:45.080
This is what it says.

435
00:23:45.080 --> 00:23:49.920
Fruits are the emotional or physical manifestations and

436
00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:54.720
the subsequent actions you have been taking as a result of what

437
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:56.440
you believe in your heart.

438
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:02.800
Fruits are the emotional or physical manifestations in the subsequent

439
00:24:02.800 --> 00:24:07.480
actions you have been taking as a result of what you believe in your

440
00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:11.160
heart. Fruits may include sickness, self-pity,

441
00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:15.640
a victim mentality, despair, not sadness, suicidal tendencies,

442
00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:18.600
disgust judgment, just a side note.

443
00:24:18.600 --> 00:24:22.440
If you have a problem with judging others or even ladies being really critical

444
00:24:22.440 --> 00:24:24.760
of other people that falls in that category as well,

445
00:24:25.040 --> 00:24:26.880
it's because you have a fragmented heart.

446
00:24:27.120 --> 00:24:31.280
A judgmental heart is a hurting heart. Some more fruits are obesity,

447
00:24:31.280 --> 00:24:35.600
perversion, addiction, sexual dysfunction, hopelessness,

448
00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:39.280
hatred, and self-hatred. Just so you know,

449
00:24:39.320 --> 00:24:43.880
all forms of hatred begin with self hatred.

450
00:24:44.920 --> 00:24:48.400
You cannot hate someone else without hating yourself.

451
00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:52.400
Remember the scripture love your neighbor as you love yourself. Well,

452
00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:54.560
if you don't like yourself,

453
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:58.040
you're going to walk around not liking other people a lot too.

454
00:24:59.040 --> 00:24:59.960
Here's some more.

455
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.400
unhealthy fruit, abrasiveness, short temper, irritability, jealousy, envy, competitiveness,

456
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:11.680
comparing, gossiping, backstabbing, being unhappy, ungratefulness, selfishness,

457
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:18.240
having a poverty mentality. If you are habitually negative, that's also a not good fruit, ladies.

458
00:25:19.040 --> 00:25:25.280
Unfaithful, have any form of dis, so including disease, disconnection, discontent,

459
00:25:25.280 --> 00:25:33.040
and disappointment, you are suffering from a broken heart. Okay, so I want to encourage you

460
00:25:33.040 --> 00:25:38.000
to be asking the Lord, what, what unhealthy fruit do you have in your life right now?

461
00:25:39.600 --> 00:25:44.000
Could be any of those from the list. Which ones resonate for you? I want you to write those down.

462
00:25:45.600 --> 00:25:49.600
I'm going to pass this over to Annette. I would love for you to share Annette on,

463
00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:53.280
just when you were going through the heart work or even, it could be something even recently,

464
00:25:53.280 --> 00:26:00.240
where God revealed to you unhealthy roots and that he wanted you to seek him for deeper

465
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:06.160
healing and growth. What did that look like and sound like for you? And I have to pick just one.

466
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:18.240
There's a few things that come to mind. I would say one of the biggest ones was comparison

467
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:26.080
and comparing myself to other people. And if I felt like I measured up great, but so often

468
00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:33.280
because of being self-critical, I didn't measure up. It wasn't good enough. I didn't work hard

469
00:26:33.280 --> 00:26:39.520
enough. I was rejected because I, you know, I wasn't this person or I wasn't that person,

470
00:26:39.520 --> 00:26:44.960
or I wasn't thin enough, or, you know, looked a certain way or acted or talked a certain way,

471
00:26:45.360 --> 00:26:51.200
was in a certain, you know, income bracket or intelligence and education, so many things

472
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:59.920
that I really fell into comparing myself with other people. And God really showed me

473
00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:08.720
a lot about stepping into my true identity of who he made me to be and speaking truth over my life

474
00:27:08.800 --> 00:27:16.000
of how he created me and really having a heart of gratitude for and focusing on the unique things

475
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:26.960
that make me who I am and the plans and purposes that he has for me in the earth that are specific

476
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:36.640
to me. Nobody else can do them. He designed them for me to do because he needs me. And so he needs

477
00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:44.400
me to be myself, not look at everybody else and stop and don't move forward because out of fear

478
00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:49.520
that I don't think I'm going to be good enough or I'm not going to measure up. Go forward into who

479
00:27:49.520 --> 00:27:57.280
God's called me to be. Step into the things that he has for me because we're all a gift. Each one

480
00:27:57.280 --> 00:28:04.320
of us are a gift and we're here for a specific time, a specific purpose, and for plans. And

481
00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:11.600
to live the most abundant life that God has for us, we need to surrender to that and partner,

482
00:28:11.600 --> 00:28:18.480
get rid of the lies and walk in the truth of who he says we are, not anybody else.

483
00:28:20.320 --> 00:28:26.000
I love that. Yes, Lord, help us to know who you say we are and to walk in that and partner with

484
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:31.600
that daily. And again, just being honest with ourselves, I will tell you when I got the most

485
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:36.720
breakthrough in my healing journey, and even still today, it's when I'm very brutally honest

486
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:42.480
with myself and not beating myself up, but just being really like all the walls coming down.

487
00:28:44.080 --> 00:28:47.840
I'm getting ready to get you all set up for the breakout sessions. The way we're going to do it

488
00:28:47.840 --> 00:28:51.280
tonight, it's going to be a little tiny different. I'm going to put you in your breakout questions.

489
00:28:51.280 --> 00:28:56.400
I'll give you, excuse me, your breakout session. I'm going to give you the question here in a

490
00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:00.720
minute. When you come back, normally we do group coaching right away. The way we're going to do

491
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:06.240
it tonight is I have another section of content that I'm going to go right into when you come back,

492
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:10.000
and then I'll give you all your activation for the night, and then I'm going to open it up for

493
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:15.200
group coaching. You're still going to go into breakout, and this is going to be your question.

494
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:22.800
What is currently an unhealthy or negative root in your life that's producing unhealthy fruit

495
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:30.560
that you need to allow God to come in and heal? What is currently an unhealthy

496
00:29:30.560 --> 00:29:36.160
root that's producing unhealthy fruit in your life right now that you need to allow God to come

497
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:40.160
in and heal? I'm going to hit the open rooms that's going to pop up on your screen for you.

498
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:44.800
If you're new, you're going to want to click on that as soon as you can, ladies. Here you go.

499
00:29:44.800 --> 00:29:50.560
Go ahead and click to join those. Hi, Erica. I see that you just joined. I'll get you in a room here

500
00:29:50.560 --> 00:29:57.280
in just a minute. It won't let me do it while they're popping in. No, you're okay. I'm sorry.

501
00:29:57.280 --> 00:29:59.600
You're fine.

502
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:02.040
All right.

503
00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:07.960
All right.

504
00:30:07.960 --> 00:30:09.120
Let's see, I just don't wanna put you,

505
00:30:09.120 --> 00:30:11.240
okay, I can put you in that room, that's cool.

506
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:14.640
All right, there, that should be there for you.

507
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:16.440
Go ahead and click to join that.

508
00:30:16.440 --> 00:30:20.620
All right, anyone else not going into a room tonight,

509
00:30:20.620 --> 00:30:22.680
you're at work or something, put that in the chat for me

510
00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:24.320
just so I can see it.

511
00:30:24.320 --> 00:30:26.320
I'm gonna move some people around here.

512
00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:30.640
Father, we just thank you so much for all that you're doing.

513
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:35.600
Sorry, I see someone's by themselves.

514
00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:36.600
Put her down there.

515
00:30:41.280 --> 00:30:42.720
All right, Father, thank you so much

516
00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:45.720
for what you're doing, God, already in this place tonight.

517
00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:48.480
God, we thank you for revealings, for healing happening,

518
00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:51.120
that you would continue to take things out of darkness

519
00:30:51.120 --> 00:30:54.040
into the light and help us to understand

520
00:30:54.280 --> 00:30:56.000
and hear what your spirit is saying

521
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:58.480
louder than any voice of the enemy.

522
00:30:58.480 --> 00:31:01.760
And we just thank you that you would just help us

523
00:31:01.760 --> 00:31:04.960
to experience your truth, your life, your joy.

524
00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:07.200
We thank you, God, that you are redeeming us,

525
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:08.520
that you're transforming us,

526
00:31:08.520 --> 00:31:10.600
that you're helping us to hear revelation

527
00:31:10.600 --> 00:31:11.640
from heaven over us.

528
00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:16.640
We thank you, God, and we partner with, yes, Lord,

529
00:31:16.840 --> 00:31:18.360
that you prepare a table for us

530
00:31:18.360 --> 00:31:19.680
in the presence of our enemies,

531
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:21.360
that even when the enemy comes,

532
00:31:21.360 --> 00:31:23.000
that you send Jesus to give us life

533
00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:24.400
and give it to us more abundantly.

534
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:27.200
And you invite us to come into that place with you.

535
00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:29.880
And I thank you, God, that we can partner with you

536
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:31.280
to receive the truth,

537
00:31:31.280 --> 00:31:33.680
to declare your promises over our lives.

538
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:36.840
We thank you that even as Psalm 1-3 says

539
00:31:36.840 --> 00:31:38.080
in the Passion Translation,

540
00:31:38.080 --> 00:31:40.720
he will be standing from like a flourishing tree

541
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:42.200
planted by God's design,

542
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:44.400
deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,

543
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:47.080
bearing fruit in every season.

544
00:31:47.080 --> 00:31:49.280
And we thank you that you are the one

545
00:31:49.280 --> 00:31:52.480
bearing fruit in every season of his life.

546
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:54.600
He's never dry, never fainting,

547
00:31:54.600 --> 00:31:56.760
ever blessed, ever prosperous.

548
00:31:56.760 --> 00:31:58.840
Lord, help us to partner with the truth

549
00:31:58.840 --> 00:32:02.200
that we're always gonna bear fruit in every season

550
00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:04.200
and that we're not gonna be dry.

551
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:06.240
You know, to me, that's almost like the dead end,

552
00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:08.920
the hopelessness, the feeling of not enough,

553
00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:10.240
the feeling of being worthless.

554
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:14.880
Like those remind me of feeling dead and dry and lifeless.

555
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:17.560
And I wanna encourage you to partner with the truth

556
00:32:17.560 --> 00:32:20.400
that we're gonna be ever blessed, ever prosperous,

557
00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:25.240
and that we would just know and see in the spirit realm

558
00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:26.440
what is abundance,

559
00:32:26.440 --> 00:32:29.560
what is the mindset that we need to partner with

560
00:32:29.560 --> 00:32:31.320
that will help us to come out of alignment

561
00:32:31.320 --> 00:32:32.800
with the things of the past

562
00:32:32.800 --> 00:32:36.280
and partner with the truth of where God wants to take us.

563
00:32:37.600 --> 00:32:38.920
I think this is good too.

564
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:40.640
Ecclesiastes 7-9 says this,

565
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:45.200
control your temper for anger labels you a fool.

566
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:46.800
Lord, I thank you that you would help us

567
00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:51.560
to allow you to come in and heal every wound in our heart

568
00:32:51.560 --> 00:32:56.000
that leads us to act out on things like anger.

569
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:57.960
And we know that anger is hurt's bodyguard.

570
00:32:57.960 --> 00:33:01.600
So Lord, we ask you to help us to lean into you for healing

571
00:33:01.600 --> 00:33:03.240
in the deep places of our heart,

572
00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:04.960
where we're hurting, where we're wounded,

573
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:07.760
where we're frustrated, where we're sad.

574
00:33:07.760 --> 00:33:10.200
Lord, so many things live in those dark places

575
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:11.920
and we just thank you.

576
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:16.480
Yes, Lord, that you are the light of the world,

577
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:18.400
that nothing is too hard for you

578
00:33:18.400 --> 00:33:20.960
and everything that we have need of God,

579
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:23.080
that you're working even when we can't see it,

580
00:33:23.080 --> 00:33:24.000
you're working.

581
00:33:24.000 --> 00:33:25.920
We thank you that right now,

582
00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:27.840
we ask you and invite you, Holy Spirit,

583
00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:31.280
to come into every dark area in our minds,

584
00:33:31.280 --> 00:33:33.280
our bodies, our spirits, our souls,

585
00:33:33.280 --> 00:33:36.240
and that you would just illuminate it with your glory,

586
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:38.200
with your presence, with your love.

587
00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:40.440
You're the great counselor.

588
00:33:40.440 --> 00:33:43.640
You're our guide, our keeper.

589
00:33:43.640 --> 00:33:45.640
And you help us in every moment.

590
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:49.400
Yes, Lord, we never walk alone.

591
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:51.280
There's a song by Elevation.

592
00:33:51.280 --> 00:33:52.640
I think it's by Elevation Rhythm

593
00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:54.320
and they talk about never walk alone.

594
00:33:54.320 --> 00:33:55.800
I love that song.

595
00:33:55.800 --> 00:33:57.280
It's such a great reminder

596
00:33:57.280 --> 00:33:59.280
that there's nothing that we go through

597
00:33:59.280 --> 00:34:00.600
that we have to go through alone

598
00:34:00.600 --> 00:34:02.600
because God never leaves us.

599
00:34:02.600 --> 00:34:03.920
He never forsakes us.

600
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:05.520
He's always walking with us,

601
00:34:05.520 --> 00:34:09.000
but it's us remembering that we never walk alone

602
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:10.600
and partnering with that truth.

603
00:34:10.600 --> 00:34:14.360
So Lord, I just thank you that you would remind us tonight.

604
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:17.159
Yes, Lord, that your hand is always extended to us

605
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:20.560
and it's up to us to take your hand, Father.

606
00:34:20.560 --> 00:34:22.239
I thank you that you're a good father,

607
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.120
that you would give us a fresh revelation

608
00:34:24.120 --> 00:34:26.159
of your absolute love for us,

609
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:27.400
that it's unconditional,

610
00:34:27.400 --> 00:34:29.920
that nothing can separate us from your love,

611
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:32.760
not height, nor depth, nor principalities, nor powers,

612
00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:35.960
nor the things in the present, nor the things to come.

613
00:34:35.960 --> 00:34:37.600
Yes, Lord, even in the future,

614
00:34:37.600 --> 00:34:39.480
no matter if hardship comes,

615
00:34:39.480 --> 00:34:42.159
that we can remain in your love, God,

616
00:34:42.199 --> 00:34:45.199
that you would just envelop us with your wings

617
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:48.120
and hide us under the shadow of the Almighty.

618
00:34:48.120 --> 00:34:51.679
That is you, God, that you would help us to remember

619
00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:54.600
that we can trust you, that we wouldn't...

620
00:34:55.639 --> 00:34:57.360
I don't know if y'all have ever played cards,

621
00:34:57.360 --> 00:34:59.760
but there's a statement called reneging.

622
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:01.400
God, I thank you for that.

623
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.540
He doesn't renege, he doesn't put his cards down

624
00:35:02.540 --> 00:35:05.360
and pull them back, he just shows us the cards

625
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:08.180
and it's up to us to partner with the truth

626
00:35:08.180 --> 00:35:11.620
and to not allow the enemy to lie to us,

627
00:35:11.620 --> 00:35:13.620
to kill, steal and destroy.

628
00:35:13.620 --> 00:35:15.100
Jeremiah 24, seven says,

629
00:35:15.100 --> 00:35:18.540
I will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord.

630
00:35:18.540 --> 00:35:21.060
They will be my people and I will be their God

631
00:35:21.060 --> 00:35:25.300
for they will return to me wholeheartedly.

632
00:35:25.300 --> 00:35:27.340
God, thank you for giving us hearts tonight

633
00:35:27.340 --> 00:35:29.860
that recognize you as our Lord.

634
00:35:29.940 --> 00:35:33.420
As our savior, as our ever-present help in times of trouble.

635
00:35:33.420 --> 00:35:35.220
God, that you're with us on the mountaintops,

636
00:35:35.220 --> 00:35:36.700
you're with us in the valley, Loa.

637
00:35:36.700 --> 00:35:40.840
Thank you, God, that we can be filled

638
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:43.380
with the joy of your presence

639
00:35:43.380 --> 00:35:44.780
and that we can hear what your spirit

640
00:35:44.780 --> 00:35:46.500
is saying over us this night.

641
00:35:47.620 --> 00:35:49.140
First John 3, 20 says,

642
00:35:49.140 --> 00:35:50.980
whenever our hearts make us feel guilty

643
00:35:50.980 --> 00:35:52.340
and remind us of our failures,

644
00:35:52.340 --> 00:35:53.860
we know that God is much greater

645
00:35:53.860 --> 00:35:56.060
and more merciful than our conscience.

646
00:35:56.060 --> 00:35:59.140
And he knows everything there is to know about us.

647
00:35:59.860 --> 00:36:03.820
God, I thank you that you created us in our mother's womb

648
00:36:04.900 --> 00:36:07.060
and you were so happy and excited.

649
00:36:07.060 --> 00:36:08.540
You knew everything about us.

650
00:36:08.540 --> 00:36:11.600
You knew every aspect, every twinkle in our eyes,

651
00:36:11.600 --> 00:36:13.860
every hair on our head is counted.

652
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:17.180
Yes, Lord, just like you take care of the sparrows,

653
00:36:17.180 --> 00:36:18.940
you're taking care of us.

654
00:36:19.820 --> 00:36:21.540
No matter what the enemy's saying,

655
00:36:21.540 --> 00:36:23.540
no matter what we're going through, God,

656
00:36:23.540 --> 00:36:25.760
that you are providing for us.

657
00:36:27.220 --> 00:36:28.360
Yes, Lord.

658
00:36:29.860 --> 00:36:31.060
Yes, Lord.

659
00:36:31.060 --> 00:36:32.300
Luke 12, two says,

660
00:36:32.300 --> 00:36:34.860
everything hidden and covered up will soon be exposed

661
00:36:34.860 --> 00:36:36.660
for the fast aid is falling down

662
00:36:36.660 --> 00:36:39.420
and nothing will be kept secret for long.

663
00:36:39.420 --> 00:36:42.020
We thank you, God, that you would, again,

664
00:36:42.020 --> 00:36:44.660
just bring things out of the secret places

665
00:36:44.660 --> 00:36:47.220
into the light and your perfect timing.

666
00:36:47.220 --> 00:36:48.780
God, that we can even trust you

667
00:36:48.780 --> 00:36:51.260
in the moment of revealings for healing.

668
00:36:51.260 --> 00:36:52.980
And when we feel overwhelmed,

669
00:36:52.980 --> 00:36:56.100
that we can partner with God, we can rely on you.

670
00:36:56.100 --> 00:36:58.800
We can trust you that you're gonna see us through.

671
00:37:00.860 --> 00:37:01.780
I just heard the Lord say,

672
00:37:01.780 --> 00:37:04.860
he's gonna take us to the end of the line, ladies.

673
00:37:04.860 --> 00:37:07.120
All the way, he's in, he's all in.

674
00:37:07.120 --> 00:37:09.820
He's not changing his mind about us.

675
00:37:09.820 --> 00:37:12.280
Even when we make mistakes, he's not gonna change his mind.

676
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:15.660
He's not gonna just jump away from the promise

677
00:37:15.660 --> 00:37:16.940
and be like, oh, see you later.

678
00:37:16.940 --> 00:37:19.100
You're in this on your own now.

679
00:37:19.100 --> 00:37:21.680
Like some people in the world have done to us.

680
00:37:21.680 --> 00:37:23.320
God is saying, I'm all in.

681
00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:24.300
I'm not gonna leave you.

682
00:37:24.300 --> 00:37:25.560
I'm not gonna run out.

683
00:37:25.560 --> 00:37:28.140
I'm not gonna be like the people, you know,

684
00:37:28.140 --> 00:37:29.780
that you've experienced in the world.

685
00:37:30.620 --> 00:37:31.700
I love you.

686
00:37:31.700 --> 00:37:34.500
And I sent my son to die for you.

687
00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:37.380
And Jesus chose to go to the cross for us.

688
00:37:38.260 --> 00:37:40.260
Why would we think for one moment

689
00:37:40.260 --> 00:37:42.580
that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit

690
00:37:42.580 --> 00:37:45.220
wouldn't do anything that it took

691
00:37:45.220 --> 00:37:47.660
to bring fulfillment to the promise?

692
00:37:47.660 --> 00:37:49.060
Jesus went to the cross

693
00:37:49.060 --> 00:37:51.440
and fulfilled the most important promise.

694
00:37:52.980 --> 00:37:56.240
So how could we believe that he's not a promise keeper now?

695
00:37:56.240 --> 00:38:00.240
So, Father, help us, help us and forgive us

696
00:38:00.240 --> 00:38:01.640
for the times that we doubt you,

697
00:38:01.640 --> 00:38:05.400
that we believe the lie that you won't come through for us.

698
00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:07.960
God, that you're gonna bless everybody else and not us,

699
00:38:07.960 --> 00:38:10.840
that you take your love or remove

700
00:38:10.840 --> 00:38:13.200
or pull your love back from us, because that isn't truth.

701
00:38:13.200 --> 00:38:17.360
So help us to forgive ourselves for believing the lies

702
00:38:17.360 --> 00:38:18.960
and come into partnership and agreement

703
00:38:18.960 --> 00:38:20.560
with the truth tonight.

704
00:38:20.560 --> 00:38:21.920
In Jesus' name.

705
00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:22.760
Welcome back.

706
00:38:22.760 --> 00:38:25.440
I'm gonna go ahead and start to go into our interview.

707
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:27.760
I'm gonna go into our inner vows area.

708
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:31.120
Ladies, if you've never heard this before,

709
00:38:31.120 --> 00:38:33.140
maybe some of you are familiar with inner vows,

710
00:38:33.140 --> 00:38:34.600
but I want you just to remain open

711
00:38:34.600 --> 00:38:36.840
because I wanna kind of unpack this

712
00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:38.320
a little bit more for you tonight.

713
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:39.760
What is an inner vow?

714
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:44.580
An inner vow is a determination set in our mind

715
00:38:44.580 --> 00:38:48.240
and heart to protect us from pain.

716
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:51.520
I'm gonna read that again.

717
00:38:51.520 --> 00:38:55.760
A determination set in our mind and heart

718
00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:58.520
to protect us from pain.

719
00:38:58.520 --> 00:39:00.960
So I want you to be thinking even on your own,

720
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:02.960
like asking the Lord where you're at,

721
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:05.080
to reveal to you inner vows

722
00:39:05.080 --> 00:39:07.140
that you have made over the years,

723
00:39:07.140 --> 00:39:10.040
whether intentionally or subconsciously,

724
00:39:10.040 --> 00:39:11.640
because of things that you were going through,

725
00:39:11.640 --> 00:39:13.360
pain that you were experiencing.

726
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:15.640
And so you were making these promises,

727
00:39:15.640 --> 00:39:18.340
these determinations within yourself

728
00:39:18.340 --> 00:39:23.220
to guard yourself from feeling that pain ever again.

729
00:39:24.900 --> 00:39:27.840
This is one of our self-protection mechanisms as well,

730
00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:30.840
ladies, where we put walls up.

731
00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:32.700
And I'm gonna go into what some of these vows are,

732
00:39:32.700 --> 00:39:34.020
and yours might sound different,

733
00:39:34.020 --> 00:39:36.820
but I feel like as I say these tonight,

734
00:39:36.820 --> 00:39:40.200
you're gonna hear some of your own language over the years

735
00:39:40.200 --> 00:39:41.780
and things that you've partnered with.

736
00:39:41.780 --> 00:39:44.460
So in just a moment, I will touch on those here.

737
00:39:45.420 --> 00:39:46.820
Romans 12, two says this,

738
00:39:46.820 --> 00:39:49.180
do not conform to the pattern of this world,

739
00:39:49.180 --> 00:39:52.000
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

740
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:54.620
Then you will be able to test what God's will is,

741
00:39:54.620 --> 00:39:58.240
his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

742
00:39:59.260 --> 00:40:00.100
So as Jackie.

743
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.880
about in the videos. Yes, it is just, it is a renewing of our minds. But remember, our minds

744
00:40:04.880 --> 00:40:10.080
and our heart are connected. If you're having a lot of trouble with your mind, thinking positive

745
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:15.440
things and being able to stand on God's truth, guess what? That's a signal. You've got a heart

746
00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:20.400
issue going on there. Do you experience a lot of panic all the time? You're always worried.

747
00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:24.720
You always, you know, I don't know if you all have ever done this. Anyone ever bumped into a

748
00:40:24.720 --> 00:40:30.720
wall and said, I'm sorry to the wall. Yep. I did. I did. I did that. I see a couple of the other

749
00:40:30.720 --> 00:40:39.280
ones. Why do we do that? Why do we do that? We're conditioned to apologize for things that actually

750
00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:44.240
are not like even things we need to apologize for. And some things are way bigger than when

751
00:40:44.240 --> 00:40:51.440
we bump into a wall, right? Sometimes we're saying, I'm sorry, when we're taking responsibility for

752
00:40:51.440 --> 00:41:03.040
things that other people did or said. Yeah. So Lord, help us to understand that we don't have

753
00:41:03.040 --> 00:41:07.520
to walk around always apologizing. Some of you all, I just heard the word say, some of you

754
00:41:07.520 --> 00:41:13.360
actually feel like you have to apologize for your existence. What do I mean by that? Well,

755
00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:19.520
when you were a kid, you were told that you were a bother. We had someone in the afternoon session

756
00:41:19.520 --> 00:41:23.840
that her mom, and y'all, when I tell this story, don't judge your mom. Okay.

757
00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:32.000
Broken people do things that hurt people. Okay. Um, but called her a rotten child, pulling her

758
00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:39.280
by her hair. You know, these are, these are not true things. Y'all here's the reality. Even at,

759
00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:46.560
as children, if we struggle, God created us inherently. Yes. The sin we automatically,

760
00:41:46.560 --> 00:41:49.840
as we have a flesh that we're born into. And so that's where we,

761
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:55.280
we act out in our flesh, even as young children, but everything that God is, he put it in us.

762
00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:04.960
And we learn how to walk in unhealthy ways because of trauma, because of lies, because of inherited

763
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:09.600
trauma from our parents. Remember, we've talked about that a little bit before.

764
00:42:09.600 --> 00:42:13.760
We haven't touched on it for a while, but some of the things, the vows might not even be your

765
00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:19.120
vows. They might've been vows your parents made that got passed down to you in the spirit realm,

766
00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:23.440
because they never healed. Now we don't have to get mad at them. That's not why I say this,

767
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:29.200
but guess what? God has brought you here in this moment at this time for such a time as this.

768
00:42:29.200 --> 00:42:34.640
Why? So that you can be healed and transformed and that you can be a kinsman redeemer

769
00:42:34.640 --> 00:42:40.960
in your family line, and that you can create blessings generationally for generations to come.

770
00:42:41.120 --> 00:42:44.880
What is the soil in your heart? Remember, we were talking about that earlier. What does that look

771
00:42:44.880 --> 00:42:50.880
like? What is it? You know, is it a place where like literally flowers would be planted

772
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:56.320
and they would grow or not so much? Is it dry, like a desert land?

773
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:03.840
Because there's so much bitterness in there. You're constantly struggling with negativity and,

774
00:43:03.840 --> 00:43:08.960
and there's just like poison coming out. And even y'all, yes, the most bubbly,

775
00:43:09.040 --> 00:43:15.200
can still have bitterness deep down inside. So Lord, we need you to show us what we can't see.

776
00:43:15.200 --> 00:43:19.760
All right. So I'm going to read another little excerpt from, from the book for you. And this is

777
00:43:19.760 --> 00:43:25.120
about, you know, we're talking about these inner vows. This is what it says, but even though you

778
00:43:25.120 --> 00:43:29.520
won't be able to replace the actual events that happened in your life, you can replace the lies

779
00:43:29.520 --> 00:43:36.320
you believed. And most importantly, the vows you made as a result of your inner vows,

780
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:44.080
the vows you made as a result of the lies you believed. Okay. When we experience these hurts

781
00:43:44.080 --> 00:43:49.200
in life, they make us sad. And when we are sad, that's when anger shows up. Remember anger is

782
00:43:49.200 --> 00:43:56.320
hurts like bodyguard. It's anger is always the defender. So if you're feeling angry, guess what?

783
00:43:56.320 --> 00:44:01.760
You're actually feeling something else underneath of that. But anger is here to defend and protect

784
00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:06.880
you from any kind of pain. My pages are different. That's why I never share the pages ladies,

785
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:12.640
because I have a physical book and you're most of you have the ebook, but it is in chapter eight.

786
00:44:12.640 --> 00:44:19.280
So I can tell you that part and you can just look for it there. So as we go on, if you are,

787
00:44:19.280 --> 00:44:24.320
you know, again, feeling these anger, it's protecting the most vulnerable parts of your

788
00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:30.160
heart. That's what's happening. When anger is around, we feel strong and we start to make

789
00:44:30.160 --> 00:44:35.200
inner vows. Nobody's ever going to hurt me again. I don't care about anybody. I can't trust anybody.

790
00:44:35.200 --> 00:44:40.240
I will never turn out like my mother or father. I won't be made a fool anymore. Nobody is going to

791
00:44:40.240 --> 00:44:46.960
tell me what to do. I can't tell anybody about this. I will be perfect from now on so that nobody

792
00:44:46.960 --> 00:44:52.960
can ever reject me. We make a decision to harden our hearts and it makes sense in the moment.

793
00:44:53.680 --> 00:44:57.600
We think if we make these vows and build these walls around our hearts, we can keep

794
00:44:57.600 --> 00:45:00.160
all of the bad things out. But.

795
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.400
They aren't good at letting things in.

796
00:45:03.400 --> 00:45:06.920
And to stop surviving and to start thriving, ladies,

797
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:11.680
we're going to have to be able to let a lot of things in.

798
00:45:12.880 --> 00:45:14.480
I'm gonna give you a couple other vows.

799
00:45:14.480 --> 00:45:17.000
Those were some of the vows we tend to make.

800
00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:19.840
These are a couple others I wrote down.

801
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:22.080
I will never be able to make anyone happy.

802
00:45:23.120 --> 00:45:26.960
I will never date or marry a Larry or a John

803
00:45:26.960 --> 00:45:29.280
or a Brian in my case.

804
00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:30.400
Y'all, I married a Brian,

805
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:33.200
but here's why I didn't want to marry a Brian.

806
00:45:33.200 --> 00:45:37.800
My oldest brother, who was the most significant offender

807
00:45:37.800 --> 00:45:42.480
in the sexual abuse in the home, his name is Brian.

808
00:45:43.800 --> 00:45:45.480
So guess what?

809
00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:48.920
When I'm dating people and God sends Brian my way

810
00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:49.880
and I really like him,

811
00:45:49.880 --> 00:45:52.640
I literally had a conversation with God,

812
00:45:52.640 --> 00:45:55.000
like, really Lord?

813
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:56.560
Like, he's really amazing.

814
00:45:56.560 --> 00:45:59.920
Like, couldn't you have just given it,

815
00:45:59.920 --> 00:46:01.520
like, had a different name?

816
00:46:01.520 --> 00:46:04.720
Like, couldn't you have been, you know, somebody else?

817
00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:06.640
And you know what?

818
00:46:06.640 --> 00:46:07.680
God started ministering to me

819
00:46:07.680 --> 00:46:09.760
and he started talking to me about the reality

820
00:46:09.760 --> 00:46:14.760
that he wanted me to step further into healing

821
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:18.760
and to trust him to redeem the name Brian for me.

822
00:46:19.640 --> 00:46:20.960
And I think that's the thing, ladies.

823
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:23.240
Some of you, I know people have hurt you

824
00:46:23.240 --> 00:46:24.480
and you've partnered with,

825
00:46:24.480 --> 00:46:28.440
I will never date or marry somebody with this name

826
00:46:28.440 --> 00:46:32.160
or with this ethnicity or with this kind of job.

827
00:46:33.560 --> 00:46:35.120
Some of y'all grew up in ministry,

828
00:46:35.120 --> 00:46:37.400
your parents were pastors or ministry leaders

829
00:46:37.400 --> 00:46:38.840
and it didn't go so well.

830
00:46:38.840 --> 00:46:39.880
And so some of you are like,

831
00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:42.360
yeah, I'm never marrying somebody in the ministry.

832
00:46:42.360 --> 00:46:44.800
I'm never doing that.

833
00:46:44.800 --> 00:46:46.280
Yes, I see you, Jacobed.

834
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:50.160
Some of y'all can relate to that, right?

835
00:46:50.160 --> 00:46:53.640
But I want you to continue to surrender the pen

836
00:46:54.560 --> 00:46:56.560
God knows what he's doing.

837
00:46:56.560 --> 00:46:57.720
He knows what you need.

838
00:46:57.720 --> 00:46:59.600
He knows exactly who you need

839
00:46:59.600 --> 00:47:02.080
to draw the best things out of you,

840
00:47:02.080 --> 00:47:05.440
your supernatural spiritual DNA.

841
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:07.800
And yes, for some of you,

842
00:47:07.800 --> 00:47:10.280
does that mean he's gonna send you that person 100%

843
00:47:10.280 --> 00:47:12.800
like that happened in my life?

844
00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:14.640
I can't say that it's going to happen that way

845
00:47:14.640 --> 00:47:17.360
for all of you, but I'm saying for some of you,

846
00:47:18.440 --> 00:47:20.400
here's the reality.

847
00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:23.360
When I first came across Brian in the app,

848
00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:24.720
I passed him by.

849
00:47:26.440 --> 00:47:27.760
Not for very long.

850
00:47:27.760 --> 00:47:31.120
He circled right back around the next day, praise the Lord.

851
00:47:31.120 --> 00:47:33.360
But y'all, I almost passed him by

852
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:35.120
for various different reasons.

853
00:47:35.120 --> 00:47:36.440
One being his name.

854
00:47:38.480 --> 00:47:41.440
But God kept highlighting him to me.

855
00:47:41.440 --> 00:47:43.240
He had this really kind face

856
00:47:43.240 --> 00:47:45.200
and I love the way his profile,

857
00:47:45.200 --> 00:47:46.720
like the things that he said, I'm like,

858
00:47:46.720 --> 00:47:48.480
I think this guy's the real deal.

859
00:47:49.600 --> 00:47:51.200
So I sent it to my best friend like,

860
00:47:51.200 --> 00:47:52.120
hey, what do you think?

861
00:47:52.120 --> 00:47:54.320
Should I swipe yes or right?

862
00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:56.880
I don't even remember which one I was in.

863
00:47:56.880 --> 00:47:57.920
Well, I mean, I know what app,

864
00:47:57.920 --> 00:47:59.200
but I don't remember how you had to do it.

865
00:47:59.200 --> 00:48:02.360
I think I had to click yes to accept it or something.

866
00:48:02.360 --> 00:48:04.720
And she said, yes, you should go for it.

867
00:48:04.720 --> 00:48:07.400
And part of it is that Brian wasn't someone

868
00:48:07.400 --> 00:48:09.840
I typically would have dated either.

869
00:48:09.840 --> 00:48:12.920
Like his attributes and his looks were different

870
00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:15.680
than someone I would have picked in the past.

871
00:48:15.680 --> 00:48:19.480
Y'all, I'm telling you that as I spent time with him,

872
00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:21.800
especially even that first night,

873
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:23.320
I mean, he looked handsome.

874
00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:25.680
He was dressed up nice, but not super trendy.

875
00:48:25.680 --> 00:48:27.800
And so I'm kind of like,

876
00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:30.280
I don't know if I'm attracted.

877
00:48:30.280 --> 00:48:34.320
But you all, man, that first night we sat and talked

878
00:48:34.320 --> 00:48:38.160
and I saw his heart and I heard his love for people

879
00:48:38.160 --> 00:48:42.160
and just genuinely how generous he was.

880
00:48:42.160 --> 00:48:43.400
He was a big giver.

881
00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:44.760
He wasn't being fake.

882
00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:45.920
It was a whole thing.

883
00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:48.280
But the more time I spent with him,

884
00:48:48.280 --> 00:48:49.400
that night went really well.

885
00:48:49.400 --> 00:48:50.840
We agreed we were gonna get together again.

886
00:48:50.840 --> 00:48:53.280
The second time I still was like, I don't know.

887
00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:56.200
Like, we think we have to have it figured out

888
00:48:56.200 --> 00:48:57.040
right in the beginning.

889
00:48:57.040 --> 00:48:57.920
We don't.

890
00:48:57.920 --> 00:48:59.520
I just continue to get to know him.

891
00:48:59.520 --> 00:49:01.000
And the more time I spent with him,

892
00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:05.360
the more I was like, man, this guy's awesome.

893
00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:07.120
He's really attractive.

894
00:49:07.120 --> 00:49:08.800
I like this, like about him.

895
00:49:08.800 --> 00:49:09.880
And I like that about him.

896
00:49:09.880 --> 00:49:12.560
And I would get so giddy when the dates would be coming.

897
00:49:12.560 --> 00:49:14.200
Y'all, it was real.

898
00:49:14.200 --> 00:49:15.800
And I was able to see the differences

899
00:49:15.800 --> 00:49:17.640
between him and other people

900
00:49:17.640 --> 00:49:19.960
because I was letting God show me

901
00:49:20.920 --> 00:49:22.920
the things that I had seen before

902
00:49:22.920 --> 00:49:24.360
but refused to pay attention to,

903
00:49:24.360 --> 00:49:26.120
you know, those red flags, you know,

904
00:49:26.120 --> 00:49:28.000
and I would blow past those in the past.

905
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:29.680
Well, God was showing me those red flags

906
00:49:29.680 --> 00:49:30.760
and I was paying attention

907
00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:32.520
when they were other people that I was dating

908
00:49:32.520 --> 00:49:34.920
and it wasn't something that was healthy.

909
00:49:34.920 --> 00:49:37.480
So I'm saying all that to say,

910
00:49:37.480 --> 00:49:40.560
you can choose to surrender the pen too, if you're willing,

911
00:49:41.440 --> 00:49:42.600
but it's up to you.

912
00:49:42.600 --> 00:49:45.960
Maybe yours is, I'll never let my guard down ever again.

913
00:49:45.960 --> 00:49:47.720
Maybe you have been abused by someone.

914
00:49:47.720 --> 00:49:49.480
Maybe you went through betrayal,

915
00:49:49.480 --> 00:49:51.720
you know, really significant financial issues

916
00:49:51.720 --> 00:49:54.400
because of your former spouse or, you know,

917
00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:56.000
ex or someone that you dated.

918
00:49:56.000 --> 00:49:57.600
Whatever the dynamic is

919
00:49:57.600 --> 00:49:59.560
where you started to let your guard down,

920
00:49:59.560 --> 00:50:00.400
maybe it was.

921
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.160
even with family, and you're like, yeah, I'm trying Lord to love them, but every time I let my guard

922
00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:12.000
down, they just hurt me over and over and over again. Now, I'm not saying just let everybody

923
00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:15.760
into your life. If they're toxic and they're not healthy, you don't need to necessarily spend all

924
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:20.000
kinds of time with them. But what I am saying is that we need to come out of alignment with

925
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:27.760
these vows that we've been making, because the vows keep you stuck. Why? Well, because if you're

926
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:33.680
not willing to let your guard down ever, you're not going to be able to let your guard down with

927
00:50:33.680 --> 00:50:41.520
a healthy man either. And men that are healthy are looking for healthy. All right. So do you

928
00:50:41.520 --> 00:50:47.520
ever make statements or have thoughts that include words like always or never? Maybe you say something

929
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:53.920
like they always do that. I always get passed over. Men never come through for me. Men never

930
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:58.160
pick heavier women or, you know, whatever your thing is. The reason I use that is because we

931
00:50:58.160 --> 00:51:02.240
actually had a woman in here. That's what she used to say all the time. Men never pick the heavy

932
00:51:02.240 --> 00:51:06.160
women. They always pick the skinny women. Guess what y'all? She said that until she was blue in

933
00:51:06.160 --> 00:51:13.360
the face and we kept coaching her. Guess what? She's married now and she's in love. So anybody

934
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:18.640
can get married and find someone healthy. So I'm just debunking that for you right now. But

935
00:51:18.640 --> 00:51:24.000
legitimately, some of you actually think things like that about yourself. We won't go into that

936
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:28.000
Gabriella here in the heart work, but that is in other phases of our community where you guys will

937
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:33.200
get actual heart work or excuse me, dating coaching. But the more that you heal, the more

938
00:51:33.200 --> 00:51:37.760
that you're going to recognize a healthy man, because Jesus is going to show you what healthy

939
00:51:37.760 --> 00:51:43.920
looks like. All right. Maybe yours is I'm never seen or noticed, you know, the always and never.

940
00:51:43.920 --> 00:51:47.520
That's what I'm talking about right now. This afternoon, one that came up and I felt like it

941
00:51:47.520 --> 00:51:51.600
was so significant because it came up for two different people that I wanted to mention it

942
00:51:51.600 --> 00:52:01.760
tonight. There was a story that was being told also about how this one woman's parents would

943
00:52:01.760 --> 00:52:07.760
send her to her room without dinner, like she wasn't being fed at times, literally as a kid.

944
00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:14.400
Y'all, this is neglect. If that happened to you, I'm so sorry. That's neglect. Okay. And so we want

945
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:21.280
to understand that the reason I'm bringing this up, sorry, is that when that was happening to her,

946
00:52:22.480 --> 00:52:28.080
she started making a statement to herself in inner vow, kind of like,

947
00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:36.320
I'm not even hungry anyways. I didn't want that food. And still today as an adult, this is

948
00:52:36.320 --> 00:52:43.280
something that she struggles with eating and cooking healthy food and things like that. And so

949
00:52:43.280 --> 00:52:49.760
maybe yours, um, another lady was sharing that she got left out by her grandmother and the

950
00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:54.480
grandmother would give the favored the boys. And so would give the boys, whatever it was that she

951
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:59.760
was wanting, but not give it to her. And so she would tell herself, I didn't even want that anyways.

952
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:05.520
And that might not seem like an outward overt inner vowel, but y'all, it totally is an inner vowel.

953
00:53:06.400 --> 00:53:10.240
You're basically saying, I'm not going to let anybody hurt me ever again.

954
00:53:11.200 --> 00:53:17.760
And so I'm going to actually deny how I feel because in those situations, those women that

955
00:53:17.760 --> 00:53:23.920
hurt them, but because they were protecting their hearts, they were trying to convince

956
00:53:23.920 --> 00:53:30.480
themselves that they did not care. I'm not hungry anyways. And I, I, I literally, I heard that this

957
00:53:30.480 --> 00:53:36.160
afternoon on the session. I was listening to a podcast this afternoon, and this guy talked about,

958
00:53:36.160 --> 00:53:43.840
are you suffering in silence? Are you suffering in silence? And so I want to say to you tonight,

959
00:53:43.840 --> 00:53:49.120
are some of you suffering in silence and you're partnering with this doesn't bother me,

960
00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:56.400
but it really did. It really did bother you. And it not only bothered you, but it hurts you.

961
00:53:57.600 --> 00:54:03.040
And the Lord cares about the pain that you have felt back then, as well as the pain that you feel

962
00:54:03.760 --> 00:54:09.920
now. I'm going to give you your activations for this week, and then we're going to go into coaching.

963
00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:15.360
So if anybody would like to share tonight, what you shared in your breakout, or it could just be

964
00:54:15.360 --> 00:54:19.040
anything that even got stirred up when I was talking about the vowels, you want to go ahead

965
00:54:19.040 --> 00:54:22.720
and raise your digital hand. If you're not sure how to do that, if you hover over the bottom of

966
00:54:22.720 --> 00:54:27.840
the screen, it's going to give you options for reactions. You might have to click on more,

967
00:54:27.840 --> 00:54:33.040
but there's also a raise hand option there. You can do that. The activations for this week are,

968
00:54:33.040 --> 00:54:38.560
we have two, roots and fruits drawing. Okay. I will tell you, I already put the directions up

969
00:54:38.560 --> 00:54:43.360
in the group this morning, so they're already there for you, but I want to show you the roots

970
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:48.080
and fruits, a couple examples. Yours do not have to look like this lady's, but again, I just want

971
00:54:48.080 --> 00:54:52.480
to show you so you have something to base it off of. Sorry, I meant to scroll up. Okay. So here's

972
00:54:52.480 --> 00:54:58.240
one. This lady did, she drew a tree and she's got her roots down there and the root systems,

973
00:54:58.240 --> 00:54:59.840
they have some good, some not.

974
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.000
And then she decided to just do greenery on the top of hers.

975
00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:08.000
This one, this lady drew, again, the roots,

976
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:12.000
and then she went into what the lies that she was believing

977
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:14.000
that were connected to those roots.

978
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:17.000
So, again, I want y'all to pray and follow the Holy Spirit

979
00:55:17.000 --> 00:55:18.000
when you do your activation.

980
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:20.000
What does He want you to put on yours?

981
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:22.000
This lady is a teacher.

982
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:24.000
I don't know if y'all can tell, but she's very organized.

983
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:26.000
She's got her board.

984
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:30.000
And God led her to, like, put some truth on there.

985
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:32.000
You know, I will find my husband.

986
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:33.000
I'll deserve God's best.

987
00:55:33.000 --> 00:55:36.000
But down in, she's got adulthood, abandonment,

988
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:39.000
adulthood perfectionism, rejection,

989
00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:41.000
and then that goes down into her core beliefs,

990
00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:44.000
I'm not worthy, and some other things that are in there.

991
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:47.000
So, again, you're praying and asking God to show you

992
00:55:47.000 --> 00:55:49.000
what are the lies that you're believing,

993
00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:55.000
what are the unhealthy roots that are producing unhealthy fruit.

994
00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:56.000
Here's another one.

995
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:57.000
I love this.

996
00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:58.000
Super simple.

997
00:55:58.000 --> 00:55:59.000
Y'all can do it.

998
00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:02.000
It does not have to be super crafty and creative.

999
00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:05.000
It can be just like this, and this is perfect, okay?

1000
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:08.000
So, if you want to be more creative, that's awesome, too.

1001
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:10.000
Hers is, like, fear of man.

1002
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:12.000
She's got some healthy ones in there, too.

1003
00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:15.000
Unhealthy efficiency, self-protection,

1004
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:17.000
and then it goes up.

1005
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:20.000
If you see, if you go up that one that says unhealthy efficiency,

1006
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.000
it goes straight up into the unhealthy fruit is distracted.

1007
00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:28.000
Y'all starting to understand a little bit how this goes?

1008
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:29.000
Here's some.

1009
00:56:29.000 --> 00:56:31.000
I'm going to show you two that were done on computers.

1010
00:56:31.000 --> 00:56:34.000
Totally cool if you want to do it like this, too.

1011
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:35.000
Unhealthy boundaries.

1012
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:37.000
So, do you struggle with boundaries?

1013
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:40.000
If so, y'all, that's unhealthy root system down in there.

1014
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.000
If you have insecurity, you know, fear, anger, you know,

1015
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:46.000
those are all unhealthy roots.

1016
00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:51.000
Again, here's another one done on a computer,

1017
00:56:51.000 --> 00:56:53.000
and then I wanted to show you this one.

1018
00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:55.000
This one is someone that is an artist,

1019
00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:57.000
and so I don't want you to get intimidated,

1020
00:56:57.000 --> 00:57:00.000
but I just thought this one was really cool in the depiction of,

1021
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:03.000
on the left side is all the unhealthy roots and fruit.

1022
00:57:03.000 --> 00:57:07.000
In the middle is the healthy roots leading to the healthy fruit,

1023
00:57:07.000 --> 00:57:12.000
and then she drew the Holy Spirit in there being that helper in her process.

1024
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:13.000
Okay?

1025
00:57:13.000 --> 00:57:15.000
So, again, you guys can do it however you want to do it,

1026
00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:17.000
but those are some examples.

1027
00:57:17.000 --> 00:57:19.000
So, the roots and fruits is one of your activations.

1028
00:57:19.000 --> 00:57:23.000
The second one is we're going to, I'm calling it caught a thought.

1029
00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:26.000
I want you to track your thoughts this week.

1030
00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:29.000
I want you to really pay attention to how many of the thoughts that you have

1031
00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:36.000
are negative, and then what thoughts have you caught and stopped?

1032
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:39.000
There's a scripture that's posted in the group that goes with that,

1033
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:43.000
2 Corinthians 10, 5, that talks about demolishing every stronghold

1034
00:57:43.000 --> 00:57:47.000
and taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Jesus Christ,

1035
00:57:47.000 --> 00:57:50.000
and that we would catch those quickly, ladies, and I'm paraphrasing that.

1036
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:52.000
That's not in the scripture, but that's something I pray,

1037
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:56.000
because I believe God wants us to catch those things very quickly

1038
00:57:56.000 --> 00:57:58.000
before we think on them long-term.

1039
00:57:58.000 --> 00:57:59.000
Okay?

1040
00:57:59.000 --> 00:58:00.000
All right.

1041
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:03.000
I'm going to go ahead and go into the group coaching now.

1042
00:58:03.000 --> 00:58:06.000
If you have any questions about the activations,

1043
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:10.000
you can post those in the comments of that post that's up in the group,

1044
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:12.000
and I can answer those there for you on the activations.

1045
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:13.000
All right.

1046
00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:15.000
Sam W., go ahead.

1047
00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:17.000
Hi.

1048
00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:18.000
Can you hear me?

1049
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:19.000
I can.

1050
00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:20.000
Hello.

1051
00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:21.000
Hi.

1052
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:26.000
So we actually started this conversation in the Ask a Coach group,

1053
00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:28.000
and we never really finished it,

1054
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:35.000
but the always and never statements definitely struck me,

1055
00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:41.000
and the one I wrote down was I'm always friend-zoned by guys,

1056
00:58:41.000 --> 00:58:44.000
and you had mentioned in the chat in the Ask a Coach

1057
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:47.000
when I felt like the first time I was friend-zoned,

1058
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:50.000
and I wasn't 100% sure on that, but then you had asked,

1059
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:52.000
like, do you typically, like,

1060
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:55.000
are you kind of a person that can do it yourself?

1061
00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:56.000
Like, you always want to do.

1062
00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:57.000
I can do this myself.

1063
00:58:57.000 --> 00:58:59.000
And I was like, yes, definitely.

1064
00:58:59.000 --> 00:59:02.000
I'm one of those people that wants to do it on my own,

1065
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:07.000
and actually the Holy Spirit brought to mind when my parents got divorced,

1066
00:59:07.000 --> 00:59:10.000
and I saw how my mom sort of fell apart.

1067
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:12.000
Like, she had five kids.

1068
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:14.000
She wasn't working at the time.

1069
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.000
She had had a career, but she gave it up to raise the kids,

1070
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:19.000
and now she had to change all of that.

1071
00:59:19.000 --> 00:59:20.000
We moved cities.

1072
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:23.000
Like, there was a whole bunch of stuff that happened,

1073
00:59:23.000 --> 00:59:26.000
and I just saw her falling apart as, like, a nine-year-old.

1074
00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:29.000
I could see she was not keeping it together.

1075
00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:32.000
And I think even then, like,

1076
00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:37.000
I just had to know that I could do it on my own so I didn't turn out

1077
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:39.000
destroyed by betrayal like my mom.

1078
00:59:39.000 --> 00:59:42.000
And that was sort of the vow that I had made.

1079
00:59:42.000 --> 00:59:45.000
I mean, it wasn't an always or never, but it was like I did.

1080
00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:49.000
I had to know all the way up until I was, like, 30, and I'm 43 now.

1081
00:59:49.000 --> 00:59:55.000
I had to know I could do it on my own because I didn't want to, like,

1082
00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:57.000
marry somebody right out of college.

1083
00:59:57.000 --> 00:59:59.000
And.

1084
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.240
and then leave me and fall apart.

1085
01:00:02.240 --> 01:00:05.960
And it turned out like around the age of 27,

1086
01:00:05.960 --> 01:00:09.320
like I was really focused on my career.

1087
01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:11.680
I was out in Los Angeles working in film and television,

1088
01:00:11.680 --> 01:00:14.400
working crazy hours, no support system.

1089
01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:16.000
And I had a huge nervous breakdown

1090
01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:18.760
and I couldn't do it on my own, like even then.

1091
01:00:18.760 --> 01:00:20.520
But I still had that mentality of like,

1092
01:00:20.520 --> 01:00:24.520
I have to do it on my own all the way up until,

1093
01:00:24.520 --> 01:00:26.240
yeah, probably my third decade.

1094
01:00:26.240 --> 01:00:28.480
So that's where I'm at with that.

1095
01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:31.480
I haven't, I've definitely broken that vow.

1096
01:00:32.400 --> 01:00:34.880
And so Lord, I renounced this vow

1097
01:00:34.880 --> 01:00:38.560
that I have to do it on my own, you know.

1098
01:00:38.560 --> 01:00:41.440
But I think that was definitely part of the root

1099
01:00:41.440 --> 01:00:43.040
of the being friend zoned.

1100
01:00:43.960 --> 01:00:47.560
Yeah, well, and even in addition to renouncing it,

1101
01:00:47.560 --> 01:00:50.200
I wanna encourage you to come out of agreement with it.

1102
01:00:50.200 --> 01:00:51.040
Yeah.

1103
01:00:51.040 --> 01:00:52.840
Because if it's still showing up,

1104
01:00:52.840 --> 01:00:55.640
it's still in there in your subconscious somewhere

1105
01:00:55.640 --> 01:00:58.440
that you can't rely on people.

1106
01:00:58.440 --> 01:00:59.280
Yeah.

1107
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:00.960
And so you may even wanna ask the Lord,

1108
01:01:00.960 --> 01:01:03.960
was your parents divorced the first time you partnered

1109
01:01:03.960 --> 01:01:06.640
with the lie that you had to take care of yourself?

1110
01:01:08.640 --> 01:01:09.800
And just see what he shows you.

1111
01:01:09.800 --> 01:01:11.280
And that might be the first time,

1112
01:01:11.280 --> 01:01:13.000
but it kind of makes me wonder

1113
01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:16.160
if there's maybe something else still underlying that,

1114
01:01:16.160 --> 01:01:20.120
that might've happened before they actually got divorced.

1115
01:01:20.120 --> 01:01:23.600
You know, and not trying to say something,

1116
01:01:23.600 --> 01:01:24.440
you know, that I don't know,

1117
01:01:24.440 --> 01:01:27.760
but typically, you know, before parents get divorced,

1118
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:30.400
there's quite a bit of time where there's fighting

1119
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:31.960
and things happening, right?

1120
01:01:31.960 --> 01:01:35.160
And so, yeah, just be asking the Lord about that.

1121
01:01:35.160 --> 01:01:39.200
And then also the other thing that I wanted to mention,

1122
01:01:39.200 --> 01:01:40.600
as you were saying, do it myself.

1123
01:01:40.600 --> 01:01:42.440
Oh, yes.

1124
01:01:42.440 --> 01:01:45.320
So this week, your assignment is this.

1125
01:01:45.320 --> 01:01:50.040
I want you to pray and ask God to show you something

1126
01:01:50.040 --> 01:01:52.600
that you need to ask somebody to help you with,

1127
01:01:53.600 --> 01:01:56.120
and that he would show you who to reach out to,

1128
01:01:56.120 --> 01:01:58.200
and that you would reach out and ask them for help.

1129
01:01:58.200 --> 01:01:59.080
And if, you know,

1130
01:01:59.080 --> 01:02:02.200
if it doesn't come to you right away this week,

1131
01:02:02.200 --> 01:02:03.120
so sorry, you all,

1132
01:02:04.560 --> 01:02:07.200
even if it comes later into next week or whatever,

1133
01:02:07.200 --> 01:02:09.480
just follow that, follow where the Lord is leading,

1134
01:02:09.480 --> 01:02:11.200
but don't put it off, okay?

1135
01:02:11.200 --> 01:02:12.480
So just start praying about that.

1136
01:02:12.480 --> 01:02:17.240
But I feel like you need to practice letting people help you

1137
01:02:17.240 --> 01:02:18.880
and when you're doing that,

1138
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:21.760
that you would not partner with any lies,

1139
01:02:22.440 --> 01:02:23.760
you know, sometimes people will be like,

1140
01:02:23.760 --> 01:02:25.400
well, I ask people to help me all the time,

1141
01:02:25.400 --> 01:02:27.040
but they don't show up for me.

1142
01:02:27.040 --> 01:02:28.040
And I just wanna make sure

1143
01:02:28.040 --> 01:02:30.760
that you would resist any lies like that.

1144
01:02:32.200 --> 01:02:34.760
Even if the person that you ask

1145
01:02:34.760 --> 01:02:39.080
says they're not able to help you right now, trust that.

1146
01:02:39.080 --> 01:02:39.920
Because again,

1147
01:02:39.920 --> 01:02:42.200
this is all about revealing for healing as well.

1148
01:02:42.200 --> 01:02:44.320
So let's see what comes up when you do this

1149
01:02:44.320 --> 01:02:47.520
and you step out to let people help you,

1150
01:02:47.520 --> 01:02:48.840
because this is gonna prepare you

1151
01:02:48.840 --> 01:02:50.560
for the day when you meet your spirit mate,

1152
01:02:50.560 --> 01:02:52.640
and he's gonna wanna help you.

1153
01:02:52.640 --> 01:02:55.720
And if we can't receive from people now,

1154
01:02:55.720 --> 01:02:57.880
it's gonna be really tough to receive

1155
01:02:57.880 --> 01:02:59.680
from the spirit mate later.

1156
01:02:59.680 --> 01:03:04.240
So I think those are two good continuing stepping forward

1157
01:03:04.240 --> 01:03:05.120
in those areas.

1158
01:03:05.120 --> 01:03:08.280
And I look forward to hearing how it goes for you.

1159
01:03:08.280 --> 01:03:09.120
Thank you.

1160
01:03:09.120 --> 01:03:10.920
You're welcome.

1161
01:03:10.920 --> 01:03:12.200
Karen Roa, go ahead.

1162
01:03:14.240 --> 01:03:15.400
Hey.

1163
01:03:15.400 --> 01:03:16.320
Hi.

1164
01:03:16.320 --> 01:03:19.200
I had some interesting revelations yesterday

1165
01:03:19.200 --> 01:03:20.760
that I was able to get to a certain point,

1166
01:03:20.760 --> 01:03:22.840
but not beyond yet.

1167
01:03:22.840 --> 01:03:26.280
I felt resistance to go to the next steps at church.

1168
01:03:26.280 --> 01:03:28.880
And I asked myself why, what's going on with that?

1169
01:03:30.440 --> 01:03:33.680
Realizing that I was weary of introducing myself

1170
01:03:33.680 --> 01:03:36.040
and saying, oh no, it's just me.

1171
01:03:36.040 --> 01:03:37.720
When asked, oh, do you have a husband?

1172
01:03:37.720 --> 01:03:39.000
Oh, do you have kids?

1173
01:03:39.000 --> 01:03:43.040
And I accepted a new job in the last month.

1174
01:03:43.040 --> 01:03:44.560
So there's been a lot of introductions

1175
01:03:44.560 --> 01:03:46.160
and a lot of explaining my life.

1176
01:03:47.040 --> 01:03:48.400
So I was just weary of like,

1177
01:03:48.400 --> 01:03:51.120
is there a healthier way to say this with hope

1178
01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:54.240
and not being like, oh yeah, no, just me, I live alone.

1179
01:03:56.240 --> 01:03:57.960
I'm tired of that story,

1180
01:03:57.960 --> 01:04:00.440
but I was like, what's underneath that?

1181
01:04:02.160 --> 01:04:04.640
And while leadership of the church

1182
01:04:04.640 --> 01:04:06.720
were like rifling through the class to say,

1183
01:04:06.720 --> 01:04:08.320
oh, I'm in charge of this, I'm in charge of that,

1184
01:04:08.320 --> 01:04:09.560
we need a volunteer here.

1185
01:04:10.720 --> 01:04:13.560
The middle school pastor was saying

1186
01:04:13.560 --> 01:04:15.400
that they are looking for leaders.

1187
01:04:16.440 --> 01:04:18.960
And I was like, ooh, that's something I could do.

1188
01:04:18.960 --> 01:04:21.560
But in the immediate afterthought was,

1189
01:04:21.560 --> 01:04:24.200
oh, but would they accept me because I'm not married?

1190
01:04:25.440 --> 01:04:27.600
And later, as I was weeding my garden,

1191
01:04:27.600 --> 01:04:28.880
I was like, what is that about?

1192
01:04:28.880 --> 01:04:31.640
Like, why do I doubt that I could be a leader

1193
01:04:31.640 --> 01:04:32.920
from middle school?

1194
01:04:34.560 --> 01:04:37.800
And the underlying lie is that I'm not useful

1195
01:04:37.800 --> 01:04:39.440
in the church unless I'm married.

1196
01:04:40.440 --> 01:04:41.480
That's huge, Karen.

1197
01:04:41.480 --> 01:04:43.640
So do you know when that took root?

1198
01:04:48.440 --> 01:04:50.680
I think it's the high school that I went to,

1199
01:04:50.680 --> 01:04:52.680
the junior high and high school I went to.

1200
01:04:54.760 --> 01:04:55.800
I was very,

1201
01:04:58.280 --> 01:04:59.120
I was very,

1202
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.840
legalistic, and a woman's place was to be married and have kids. And that's what success as a

1203
01:05:01.600 --> 01:05:02.440
I was very,

1204
01:05:04.920 --> 01:05:05.760
I was very,

1205
01:05:07.840 --> 01:05:16.000
Christian woman was represented as. And that was the high school that you went to? That's what

1206
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:21.840
you said? Right. I was there from sixth grade to twelfth grade. Was it a Christian school?

1207
01:05:23.840 --> 01:05:28.240
It was a Baptist Christian school. My home life was not that strict.

1208
01:05:30.160 --> 01:05:34.000
But the school was. So I learned to kind of be two people during that time.

1209
01:05:35.120 --> 01:05:40.160
Yeah. So have you ever done forgiveness prayer sheets regarding those administrators in the

1210
01:05:40.160 --> 01:05:46.800
school and the religious beliefs and legalism that they were raising you up in at the school?

1211
01:05:46.800 --> 01:05:49.680
I haven't. I would do that. I think because

1212
01:05:49.680 --> 01:05:56.000
what's happening is basically you're believing a lie that you're counted out before you even get

1213
01:05:56.000 --> 01:06:03.920
started. But it sounds like God is starting to reveal some things to you from that timeframe

1214
01:06:04.640 --> 01:06:10.000
that got embedded in your subconscious because of things that you were hearing and things that

1215
01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:14.080
you were going through. And there might be additional layers for healing there.

1216
01:06:15.760 --> 01:06:23.280
If you got in trouble or just anything. No, I was the quiet, good student. I learned to hide.

1217
01:06:24.000 --> 01:06:29.280
Okay. Well, that's the flip side though. You see like sometimes, and not even that you would be a

1218
01:06:29.280 --> 01:06:34.880
bad kid, but some kids get in trouble in those schools just because they like barely do anything,

1219
01:06:34.880 --> 01:06:40.720
but they talk. Yeah. Right. And so the other side is what you just said, people that go into hiding

1220
01:06:40.720 --> 01:06:45.600
and then they live in hiding and they don't know how to come back out of that. And so, yeah,

1221
01:06:45.600 --> 01:06:51.360
I definitely think you forgiving anybody, whoever comes to mind, if there's any administrators that

1222
01:06:51.360 --> 01:06:57.360
you remember by name, but just in general, praying to forgive those leaders, that school,

1223
01:06:57.360 --> 01:07:03.280
and even maybe your parents for, for sending you there. And let's just see where that,

1224
01:07:03.280 --> 01:07:11.600
that thread starts to lead you. Okay. But also when you said, Oh no, it's just me. It's interesting

1225
01:07:11.600 --> 01:07:16.800
before you even kind of said, is there a better way, healthier way to say this in my spirit?

1226
01:07:16.800 --> 01:07:21.840
I was thinking, yeah, I don't, I don't want you to say that anymore. I just don't want to say it.

1227
01:07:21.840 --> 01:07:26.960
It's so unhelpful. I think it's okay for you to say it's like, Oh no, marriage. Hasn't been part

1228
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:32.240
of my story yet. Yeah. It's you can partner. That sounds like a very healthy way to say it.

1229
01:07:32.240 --> 01:07:40.000
You can just say, you know, Hey, no, I'm, I'm here and I'm super excited to get involved.

1230
01:07:40.000 --> 01:07:47.680
Like you don't even have to like fully explain to them. Um, and most times people will, um, I

1231
01:07:47.680 --> 01:07:51.280
mean, you're going to have to fill out the volunteer forum at most churches anyways,

1232
01:07:51.840 --> 01:07:58.480
ask you about those things. So I feel like sometimes because we, um, I'm going to use

1233
01:07:58.480 --> 01:08:05.440
the word embarrassed. We get embarrassed sometimes by our status. And so like, even

1234
01:08:06.160 --> 01:08:10.480
I went to this appointment today and, um, the doctor was asking like,

1235
01:08:11.440 --> 01:08:17.359
if I had biological children yet, or the helper helper girl there. And I had just told her,

1236
01:08:17.359 --> 01:08:21.760
we started working with this other doctor. And so it was kind of apparent that, you know,

1237
01:08:21.760 --> 01:08:27.040
we're going to the specialist, but it didn't mean I hadn't had kids yet, but she felt so bad that

1238
01:08:27.040 --> 01:08:32.160
she asked me if I had bio kids, I was like, I'm not, you would have no way of knowing if I had,

1239
01:08:33.120 --> 01:08:38.479
you know, but like, I think inside of us, we internally struggle with things.

1240
01:08:39.040 --> 01:08:45.840
And so when we're asked something, we feel pressure and pain. So if we resolve it within

1241
01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:51.040
ourselves, before we even get around people or their situations or those questions where we're

1242
01:08:51.040 --> 01:08:54.960
just like, you know what, I'm good. Like, it doesn't mean we don't want a spirit mate, but

1243
01:08:54.960 --> 01:09:00.640
that we're whole and that we're happy and content, like where we're at, but also as we go,

1244
01:09:01.600 --> 01:09:07.760
that makes sense. It does. Yeah. And where you really start to partner with, you're not less

1245
01:09:07.760 --> 01:09:14.080
than yeah, because you're not married yet. Okay. Well, I believe God is going to bless you with

1246
01:09:14.080 --> 01:09:18.800
the spirit mate and lead you on the way to that, but you're not less than because you're not married

1247
01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:25.120
yet. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. So let's, let's do a couple of those things and

1248
01:09:25.120 --> 01:09:30.319
see how it goes. Um, and as you're processing that forgiveness, if anything else comes up,

1249
01:09:30.319 --> 01:09:35.120
um, you know, if it comes up before we do live next week, I would love for you to come in the

1250
01:09:35.120 --> 01:09:39.840
group and let, let's chat that. Cause I have a feeling it's going to be a little bigger.

1251
01:09:41.120 --> 01:09:46.880
Oh yeah. There's a lot of layers there. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing. Thanks.

1252
01:09:47.760 --> 01:09:50.080
You're welcome. Nadine, go ahead.

1253
01:09:50.160 --> 01:09:54.160
Hey Bethany. Also I'm sitting outside. Can you hear me? Yep. I can hear you.

1254
01:09:54.160 --> 01:09:58.080
Okay. Awesome. Um, I'm actually going to share something that I didn't share on the

1255
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.400
prove. But what's coming to mind as everyone's talking about is I

1256
01:10:03.400 --> 01:10:08.880
think my fruit is that I don't initiate. But I feel like it's

1257
01:10:08.880 --> 01:10:12.760
rooted in fear. But I, I don't really don't know what's like

1258
01:10:12.760 --> 01:10:16.600
the first time that I've experienced this. But like quick

1259
01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:20.480
story, with my son situation, you know, me and his dad

1260
01:10:20.480 --> 01:10:22.800
separated, we were never married, but we separated in

1261
01:10:22.800 --> 01:10:27.760
2017. And it's been turmoil ever since. But when I started

1262
01:10:27.760 --> 01:10:31.600
serving the Lord back in 2020, that was when I really tried to,

1263
01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:34.200
you know, change everything and be the good person and all the

1264
01:10:34.200 --> 01:10:36.560
things despite all the bullying and all the other things that

1265
01:10:36.560 --> 01:10:41.840
have happened with them. And even still, since then, there's

1266
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:44.560
been like two times where things have been thrown in my face. And

1267
01:10:44.560 --> 01:10:47.000
there's been like legal percussions with me just trying

1268
01:10:47.000 --> 01:10:51.760
to trust them again. And so I know that like, I just, unless

1269
01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:57.120
things on paper, like we can't really go deviate from that. And

1270
01:10:57.120 --> 01:11:02.200
so like the Lord is showing me about a year or so ago, one of

1271
01:11:02.200 --> 01:11:04.880
the situations was he was allowing me to move out of

1272
01:11:04.880 --> 01:11:08.800
state with my parents for a few months to save up to be able to,

1273
01:11:10.400 --> 01:11:13.600
you know, be able to buy a house because it's been like I have

1274
01:11:13.640 --> 01:11:18.000
had to rent since then I don't have any family around me. And I

1275
01:11:18.000 --> 01:11:21.720
ended up in a situation where I was forced back to Tennessee

1276
01:11:21.720 --> 01:11:24.320
because it did not look favorable because I didn't

1277
01:11:24.320 --> 01:11:27.360
realize I was supposed to get court ordered approval to move

1278
01:11:27.360 --> 01:11:30.960
out. And so it forced my son into the school he was in, it

1279
01:11:30.960 --> 01:11:34.120
forced me to have to live between four or five different

1280
01:11:34.120 --> 01:11:37.720
houses in the span of like two months. And it was like, I was

1281
01:11:37.720 --> 01:11:41.360
so exhausted that I just signed the first lease that I could

1282
01:11:41.360 --> 01:11:45.440
find, which is the house I'm in now. And God gave me the screen

1283
01:11:45.440 --> 01:11:48.560
that showed me three different houses. And then there was one

1284
01:11:48.560 --> 01:11:50.920
house that was turned in a different direction. And there

1285
01:11:50.920 --> 01:11:55.360
was an aerial view. And I saw inside he was in the kitchen,

1286
01:11:55.360 --> 01:11:58.720
which I understand that's part where like, there was this man

1287
01:11:58.760 --> 01:12:02.000
and there's a pastor, which I don't really know what that

1288
01:12:02.000 --> 01:12:04.840
represents, which I feel like it's just the Holy Spirit, but

1289
01:12:04.840 --> 01:12:11.000
he was like quickly building shelves in this house. And at

1290
01:12:11.000 --> 01:12:13.760
the end of the dream, I just heard prepare the contract for

1291
01:12:13.760 --> 01:12:16.560
North Carolina. And so that was coming to mind when everyone

1292
01:12:16.560 --> 01:12:18.960
was sharing their stories. And so I felt like to share that

1293
01:12:18.960 --> 01:12:22.680
because I feel like the Lord is going to ask me to initiate

1294
01:12:22.680 --> 01:12:25.120
something and I don't know whether it's a move, whether

1295
01:12:25.120 --> 01:12:29.440
it's a new job opportunity in North Carolina, I sense it's a

1296
01:12:29.440 --> 01:12:33.800
move, because I've been praying for a way out with my son. But

1297
01:12:33.800 --> 01:12:36.000
there's a lot of fear that comes with that, because I don't

1298
01:12:36.000 --> 01:12:40.800
initiate things that starts that starts a tornado, if you will,

1299
01:12:40.840 --> 01:12:44.360
you know, like, I don't initiate things like that. I, I think I

1300
01:12:44.360 --> 01:12:49.920
confused trying to keep peace with, like, he's for everybody

1301
01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:53.440
else, but not for me, you know, and so yeah, that's what I just

1302
01:12:53.440 --> 01:12:54.120
wanted to share.

1303
01:12:56.320 --> 01:12:58.960
So remind me, I feel like I asked you this, but I can't

1304
01:12:58.960 --> 01:13:02.840
remember what you said is your son's dad in his life? Like,

1305
01:13:02.840 --> 01:13:04.280
does he spend time with him?

1306
01:13:04.840 --> 01:13:08.240
He's with him 50% of the time, but my son, it's like, every

1307
01:13:08.240 --> 01:13:11.240
time he comes back from his house, he's in tears because

1308
01:13:11.280 --> 01:13:16.400
he's been mistreated emotionally. His dad has two

1309
01:13:16.400 --> 01:13:20.400
older step sons that are not biological to my son. And then

1310
01:13:20.400 --> 01:13:23.720
one, we did talk about this. Okay. And then one half sister.

1311
01:13:23.720 --> 01:13:26.680
So my son's like in the middle. And my son has gone through just

1312
01:13:26.680 --> 01:13:30.800
so much already, where he was just thrown into that situation

1313
01:13:30.920 --> 01:13:35.480
months after we broke up. So at a very young age, so there's

1314
01:13:35.480 --> 01:13:40.400
just a lot of hurt and feeling and so you know, he he's not

1315
01:13:40.400 --> 01:13:42.920
very, he doesn't speak well of his father when he's at my

1316
01:13:42.920 --> 01:13:47.640
house, we'll say that, but he loves his father and he desires

1317
01:13:48.040 --> 01:13:50.360
that intimate time, but he just doesn't get it.

1318
01:13:51.880 --> 01:13:58.720
Okay. So, um, on the dream, the pastor represents God just FYI.

1319
01:13:58.760 --> 01:14:03.480
So God is the pastor in that, in that dream. And the building of

1320
01:14:03.480 --> 01:14:08.560
shelves is is is the preparing and fixing and rebuilding. And

1321
01:14:08.560 --> 01:14:11.360
understand that ladies, when we have dreams, this actually came

1322
01:14:11.360 --> 01:14:16.240
up this afternoon, too, that God is is speaking all the time, but

1323
01:14:16.240 --> 01:14:20.760
it tends to be symbolic, okay, so we, we have to really work on

1324
01:14:20.880 --> 01:14:24.880
understanding the symbolic representation of something God

1325
01:14:24.880 --> 01:14:29.920
is saying to us through a dream. And he may prepare you to do

1326
01:14:29.920 --> 01:14:32.680
that, you know, at some point regarding North Carolina, but

1327
01:14:32.680 --> 01:14:36.240
God's timing and our timing, God's soon and our sooner

1328
01:14:36.240 --> 01:14:40.560
different. Okay. So the one thing I will say, and I never

1329
01:14:40.560 --> 01:14:43.040
give legal advice or anything like that, and I'm not going to

1330
01:14:43.040 --> 01:14:47.920
now, but I do want to encourage you to definitely be talking to

1331
01:14:48.440 --> 01:14:52.400
anyone legally before you would even consider doing that.

1332
01:14:53.240 --> 01:14:57.960
Because your son has a dad in his life, even if he's not a

1333
01:14:57.960 --> 01:15:00.000
good dad, his dad isn't

1334
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.280
life. Okay. And so just want to encourage you to kind of check out all the things that you would

1335
01:15:05.280 --> 01:15:12.560
need to have in place to, uh, even consider that, not just do it, but to even consider it and really

1336
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:18.880
be in prayer about it too. I know it can be really tough ladies when our kids are, you know, even my

1337
01:15:18.880 --> 01:15:23.600
spiritual daughters, when I would have to send them to their moms or back to their dad, like

1338
01:15:24.160 --> 01:15:28.320
it was hard because I know they would go through a lot of stuff there that wasn't healthy and even

1339
01:15:28.320 --> 01:15:34.480
still as adults, like their parents are just not healthy. That's really hard, but we also have to

1340
01:15:34.480 --> 01:15:38.960
trust the Lord in what he's showing us. The one other thing I wanted to mention, you started out

1341
01:15:38.960 --> 01:15:47.600
by saying your fruit is that you don't initiate. So is the situation with your son and his dad and

1342
01:15:47.600 --> 01:15:53.360
their family when you first didn't start initiating or were there times in your life where you

1343
01:15:53.360 --> 01:16:00.000
struggled to initiate in the past? Um, yeah, there are some situations with his dad where I've not

1344
01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:05.840
initiated. Like for instance, he kept asking me at the very beginning of us being in Tennessee

1345
01:16:06.560 --> 01:16:11.920
to sign a certain contract that was favorable to exactly what they wanted. I kept putting it

1346
01:16:11.920 --> 01:16:17.680
off so much that they served me papers. And then, yeah, I mean, sorry. I mean, before all that,

1347
01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:24.880
like back when you were younger, did you struggle to initiate or to engage fully in a situation or

1348
01:16:24.880 --> 01:16:32.080
a dynamic or did that just start showing up when you were with him? I really don't know.

1349
01:16:32.080 --> 01:16:38.080
Um, I really don't know. I have a hard time, uh, remembering how I was as a kid. I often ask my

1350
01:16:38.080 --> 01:16:44.960
parents for explanations. I really don't know. Um, I feel like initiating things, maybe I didn't have

1351
01:16:44.960 --> 01:16:52.400
an issue, but just continuing on with things, I did have issues there. Okay. So I want you to ask

1352
01:16:52.400 --> 01:16:58.720
the Lord to reveal to you if there was a time in the past where you struggled to initiate. And I

1353
01:16:58.720 --> 01:17:04.000
keep hearing the word like not engaged. Okay. So maybe even what you were saying there, you would

1354
01:17:04.000 --> 01:17:09.600
start things, but not finish. So maybe there was a level of disengaging. Okay. And so let's just

1355
01:17:09.600 --> 01:17:14.560
see what the Lord reveals. Cause I think there's something to that. And then also you said when in

1356
01:17:14.560 --> 01:17:22.000
2020, you know, you started to change every everything and be the good person. Okay. Um,

1357
01:17:22.000 --> 01:17:27.120
I think there's something to that because a couple of times when you've mentioned that during sharing

1358
01:17:27.120 --> 01:17:33.680
or even in your, um, post in the group, God just keeps highlighting that to me. I it's amazing for

1359
01:17:33.680 --> 01:17:39.200
us to do our best to live a healthy life where we're full of Christ and we're being a good

1360
01:17:39.200 --> 01:17:44.400
reflection to the people around us. But it almost has felt like the enemy's convinced you that it's

1361
01:17:44.400 --> 01:17:50.640
your job to change them. Okay. And I just want to make sure that that's not in there underlying

1362
01:17:50.640 --> 01:17:58.880
that, you know, um, you feel responsible for them getting saved and in that kind of stuff. So just

1363
01:17:58.880 --> 01:18:05.120
pray into that. Um, I'm just sensing a little bit of like maybe, um, some legalistic teaching

1364
01:18:05.120 --> 01:18:09.520
you might've been under potentially in a church or some kind of atmosphere where.

1365
01:18:09.760 --> 01:18:13.360
You're trying to be really good. Does that make sense? What I'm saying?

1366
01:18:13.920 --> 01:18:18.800
It does. I grew up in a Southern Baptist church in Germany and like, they weren't even okay with

1367
01:18:18.800 --> 01:18:23.760
my parents being a biracial couple. So there was a lot of like, and it was just wrath preaching.

1368
01:18:23.760 --> 01:18:29.040
So there was a lot of things I had to come out of agreement with. And then I just didn't go to

1369
01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:33.520
church until I was older again. And even doing that, you know, with YouTube, there's just so

1370
01:18:33.760 --> 01:18:39.600
many different types of backgrounds and messages that you could get. And I was definitely,

1371
01:18:39.600 --> 01:18:45.520
Ooh, yeah. I hit some hard rock bottom, you know, starting my journey. And so now it's,

1372
01:18:45.520 --> 01:18:47.600
I don't know, just trying to learn the love of God right now.

1373
01:18:48.400 --> 01:18:52.080
You're doing great. And Hey, ladies, just so you know, when I, when I mentioned these kind of

1374
01:18:52.080 --> 01:18:56.880
things, um, and even when you just said that, like, you're doing the best that you could do,

1375
01:18:56.880 --> 01:19:02.560
Nadine, and it's not your fault. You didn't mess up, but you're doing the best that you could do.

1376
01:19:02.560 --> 01:19:08.000
Mess up. The reality is, is that the Lord just wants to help you cleanse and come out of that a

1377
01:19:08.000 --> 01:19:13.760
little bit more. And so it's just an invitation to really continue to step into the healing that

1378
01:19:13.760 --> 01:19:18.800
he already had, like that path that he already has you on. Um, and when you said that about

1379
01:19:18.800 --> 01:19:24.960
what your parents went through, I think that there is something to that. Okay. So seeing your parents

1380
01:19:24.960 --> 01:19:30.400
go through that, knowing about it, or even if you were young, but like, there could have been

1381
01:19:30.400 --> 01:19:35.440
things they were talking about, but you might've been little, um, that just asking the Lord about

1382
01:19:35.440 --> 01:19:42.400
that a little bit to see if there's revealing for healing, um, where you really just feel accepted.

1383
01:19:44.080 --> 01:19:49.920
Completely. Does that make sense? Why I'm saying that? Like, there's nothing about you that

1384
01:19:49.920 --> 01:19:56.000
wouldn't be accepted. Jesus loves us ladies, even when we make our biggest mistakes. Okay.

1385
01:19:56.880 --> 01:19:59.600
All right. So there's a couple of things for you to work on this week.

1386
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.060
forward to hearing what God is going to reveal to you through these.

1387
01:20:03.060 --> 01:20:04.680
I think it's going to be really great.

1388
01:20:05.260 --> 01:20:08.260
Um, let's see, Erica, go ahead.

1389
01:20:11.460 --> 01:20:12.420
Wait, can you hear me?

1390
01:20:13.020 --> 01:20:13.380
Yep.

1391
01:20:13.980 --> 01:20:14.420
Okay.

1392
01:20:14.520 --> 01:20:16.540
Just making sure my connection is always great.

1393
01:20:16.560 --> 01:20:17.220
Not the best.

1394
01:20:17.220 --> 01:20:18.020
I apologize.

1395
01:20:18.500 --> 01:20:22.980
So I guess with me, I I'm new to this, right.

1396
01:20:23.580 --> 01:20:28.920
And I'm noticing that like, I have the fruits that are multiple

1397
01:20:28.920 --> 01:20:32.220
fruits that are rooted in the same exact lie.

1398
01:20:32.340 --> 01:20:35.580
Is that something that's common for me?

1399
01:20:35.720 --> 01:20:36.900
There's at least 12 fruits.

1400
01:20:36.900 --> 01:20:39.940
And I was just like, Oh my goodness, that I'm not worthy enough.

1401
01:20:39.940 --> 01:20:40.880
I'm not good enough.

1402
01:20:40.880 --> 01:20:44.060
And there are multiple memories, I think that go through it.

1403
01:20:44.060 --> 01:20:50.660
But one, what happens when you just have lived this as long as you remember?

1404
01:20:51.760 --> 01:20:56.260
Like, I, I, yeah, tell me, tell me what's, what's one example.

1405
01:20:57.120 --> 01:20:58.680
Oh, man, I'm going to cry and ruin my mascara.

1406
01:20:58.680 --> 01:20:59.080
One minute.

1407
01:20:59.800 --> 01:21:01.720
Um, all right.

1408
01:21:01.840 --> 01:21:08.000
I guess that I'm not good enough or that I'm different and

1409
01:21:12.320 --> 01:21:14.360
and it wasn't okay to be different.

1410
01:21:17.280 --> 01:21:18.680
Tell me what that means to you.

1411
01:21:18.680 --> 01:21:21.560
What, what, that you're different and that it wasn't okay to be different.

1412
01:21:21.560 --> 01:21:23.480
Like, how did that show up for you as a kid?

1413
01:21:24.340 --> 01:21:30.140
Um, Oh, I guess it started with that.

1414
01:21:30.180 --> 01:21:31.820
Um, I have a learning disability.

1415
01:21:31.820 --> 01:21:32.660
I have ADHD.

1416
01:21:33.460 --> 01:21:38.500
So I knew that I always was different and my siblings, I guess I was always

1417
01:21:38.500 --> 01:21:42.140
compared to, because they were very smart and they were very with it and they

1418
01:21:42.140 --> 01:21:44.100
were very quiet and they didn't struggle.

1419
01:21:46.980 --> 01:21:47.500
Okay.

1420
01:21:47.780 --> 01:21:49.780
So were you not quiet, Erica?

1421
01:21:49.980 --> 01:21:51.060
No, not even close.

1422
01:21:51.060 --> 01:21:51.700
And I'm still not.

1423
01:21:51.740 --> 01:21:52.580
And that's okay.

1424
01:21:52.880 --> 01:21:53.680
It is okay.

1425
01:21:54.880 --> 01:21:56.160
And I've learned to accept that.

1426
01:21:56.160 --> 01:22:00.040
And I've learned that God gives people different talents for different reasons.

1427
01:22:00.040 --> 01:22:06.800
I'm a teacher and I'm a great one, but I guess that's something that I realized.

1428
01:22:06.840 --> 01:22:07.320
Oh, wow.

1429
01:22:07.320 --> 01:22:08.680
This is revealing a lot to me.

1430
01:22:10.200 --> 01:22:15.800
Ooh, that because I was different, people always judged me.

1431
01:22:15.800 --> 01:22:19.040
And I guess in every single Avenue, I felt like I was never enough.

1432
01:22:23.560 --> 01:22:28.120
Do you remember the first time that you didn't feel enough, like, and it's okay

1433
01:22:28.120 --> 01:22:32.400
if you don't remember fully tonight, but like, when is the first time that you

1434
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:36.520
remember feeling that nothing you could ever do was good enough?

1435
01:22:42.320 --> 01:22:46.880
I I've always felt that way, I guess.

1436
01:22:46.880 --> 01:22:47.880
So, okay.

1437
01:22:47.880 --> 01:22:49.600
This goes back to your original question.

1438
01:22:49.600 --> 01:22:54.180
So if you feel like even as a little kid, you remember always feeling that way.

1439
01:22:54.180 --> 01:22:58.060
You were asking me how, like, how does that happen basically?

1440
01:22:58.060 --> 01:22:58.460
Right.

1441
01:22:58.580 --> 01:22:59.860
Is that what you were asking me?

1442
01:23:00.340 --> 01:23:00.900
Somewhat.

1443
01:23:00.900 --> 01:23:06.260
And I think that, yes, that's intergenerational trauma, but I think I,

1444
01:23:07.180 --> 01:23:13.500
like, I felt that way always as a little kid, but also I guess I felt it more

1445
01:23:13.500 --> 01:23:14.740
strongly in middle school.

1446
01:23:14.940 --> 01:23:18.900
I was bullied a lot and I was at a Christian school when it made me feel

1447
01:23:18.920 --> 01:23:22.320
like I was at a Christian school and it made me really turn away from the whole

1448
01:23:22.320 --> 01:23:27.640
idea of religion until recently, which would, you know yeah.

1449
01:23:28.520 --> 01:23:30.720
So what did the kids bully you about?

1450
01:23:31.720 --> 01:23:33.200
I got a couple death threats.

1451
01:23:33.200 --> 01:23:42.600
Um, um, just everything I was different and they didn't like that.

1452
01:23:42.600 --> 01:23:43.160
I was different.

1453
01:23:43.160 --> 01:23:46.120
They didn't like my shoes or the way that I talked or the way that I looked.

1454
01:23:46.120 --> 01:23:52.260
I just didn't have any friends and, um, I just felt alone.

1455
01:23:54.220 --> 01:23:59.580
So one of the things I think is going to be really important, Erica, is I want you

1456
01:23:59.580 --> 01:24:02.860
to start coming out of agreement with the lie that you're different.

1457
01:24:02.860 --> 01:24:04.860
I mean, it's okay for us all to be different.

1458
01:24:04.860 --> 01:24:05.120
Okay.

1459
01:24:05.120 --> 01:24:12.020
So I want to say that, but at the same rate, the enemy fed that to you in such

1460
01:24:12.560 --> 01:24:17.080
that you felt like an outsider, you felt lonely and isolated.

1461
01:24:17.400 --> 01:24:19.680
And God wants you to be invited.

1462
01:24:19.700 --> 01:24:23.560
He is inviting you back into community, back into action.

1463
01:24:24.000 --> 01:24:29.480
And one of the ways to start moving towards that is to literally like, say

1464
01:24:29.480 --> 01:24:35.120
something like I choose tonight to come out of agreement with the lie that I'm

1465
01:24:35.160 --> 01:24:40.640
different, I'm not enough and come into agreement with God, you have fearfully

1466
01:24:40.640 --> 01:24:43.820
and wonderfully made me, I'm not messed up.

1467
01:24:43.900 --> 01:24:45.180
I'm not broken.

1468
01:24:45.620 --> 01:24:46.180
No.

1469
01:24:47.740 --> 01:24:48.260
Okay.

1470
01:24:48.680 --> 01:24:50.300
So that's what another question I asked.

1471
01:24:50.300 --> 01:24:54.740
So I also, because I think that I've always thought that I wasn't enough and

1472
01:24:54.740 --> 01:24:55.820
that I've always felt fearful.

1473
01:24:55.860 --> 01:24:56.980
I struggle with control.

1474
01:24:57.020 --> 01:25:00.140
If you haven't noticed that, um, I struggle with control.

1475
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.260
trolling things. I mean, I'm a teacher. I'm very like rigid

1476
01:25:03.260 --> 01:25:06.660
and structured with things. I'm very organized with things. I

1477
01:25:06.660 --> 01:25:08.740
know a big part of this. Well, the whole part of this is

1478
01:25:08.740 --> 01:25:12.060
letting God do all the work, right? And I've accepted that

1479
01:25:12.100 --> 01:25:19.220
99.9%. Like I get it. But how am I like, how am I supposed to

1480
01:25:19.220 --> 01:25:22.740
know when I'm healed? How am I supposed to know how to agree or

1481
01:25:22.740 --> 01:25:25.020
how to forgive if I'm not supposed to do anything with it?

1482
01:25:25.140 --> 01:25:29.700
Well, so that's actually when we surrender to the Lord, we're not

1483
01:25:29.700 --> 01:25:35.240
saying that we're not doing anything. Okay. We are choosing

1484
01:25:35.240 --> 01:25:43.040
to partner with God in what he's doing. Okay. So for example, if

1485
01:25:43.200 --> 01:25:49.260
I just wait for God to drop a baby in my lap, now he might, he

1486
01:25:49.260 --> 01:25:53.080
might do that. But you know what, having a baby takes all

1487
01:25:53.080 --> 01:25:55.440
kinds of stuff that y'all know what it takes, right? Yeah.

1488
01:25:56.420 --> 01:25:59.660
There's two people that have to act on something. And then if

1489
01:25:59.660 --> 01:26:02.180
that's not working, you got to involve doctors and you got to

1490
01:26:02.340 --> 01:26:05.220
do tests and you got to do all these steps. So it's no

1491
01:26:05.220 --> 01:26:09.700
different in heart healing. Okay. So in your life, as

1492
01:26:09.700 --> 01:26:12.480
you're going through heart healing, you are surrendering

1493
01:26:12.480 --> 01:26:14.940
your like everything to the Lord, but you're not just

1494
01:26:14.940 --> 01:26:17.620
saying here you go, Lord, you know, like you just fix it. I

1495
01:26:17.620 --> 01:26:20.740
mean, we are saying that but you're also saying, Lord, I'm

1496
01:26:20.740 --> 01:26:24.300
giving this to you. And I trust you to show me what step to take

1497
01:26:24.320 --> 01:26:29.880
every day to partner with you in my healing process. Okay. And

1498
01:26:29.880 --> 01:26:33.480
that's the thing. I haven't had many steps. Now I've had a ton

1499
01:26:33.480 --> 01:26:36.760
of dreams, right? And I know that they're transformation

1500
01:26:36.760 --> 01:26:39.600
dreams, because three of the dreams were water. One of them,

1501
01:26:39.600 --> 01:26:43.380
I was in like a big ocean, and I was trying to kayak. And the

1502
01:26:43.380 --> 01:26:45.840
other one, it was raining. And there was just a big

1503
01:26:45.840 --> 01:26:48.520
thunderstorm coming down. And then the other one, I was in a

1504
01:26:48.520 --> 01:26:52.760
pool in like a floaty, but like, I just I have a feeling that

1505
01:26:52.760 --> 01:26:55.420
water because it ebbs and it flows. And my interpretation,

1506
01:26:55.420 --> 01:26:58.420
it's like a spiritual awakening, spiritual transformation, it's

1507
01:26:58.420 --> 01:27:02.420
clean, it's holiness. But that's might be the ELA teacher like

1508
01:27:02.420 --> 01:27:07.020
coming out of me. But then I've also had dreams about my

1509
01:27:07.020 --> 01:27:10.660
principle, which I don't get because she's not religious at

1510
01:27:10.660 --> 01:27:13.380
all. But maybe like, because she's the authority figure in my

1511
01:27:13.380 --> 01:27:17.700
life. Like, you know, like my boss, when God should be like my

1512
01:27:17.700 --> 01:27:18.660
boss, I just don't know.

1513
01:27:19.260 --> 01:27:22.400
Yeah. And so the best way for us to unpack some of these things

1514
01:27:22.400 --> 01:27:25.400
is like, when you have some of these dreams, you can actually

1515
01:27:25.400 --> 01:27:27.560
come into the group and post about them. And we'll give you

1516
01:27:27.560 --> 01:27:31.420
feedback on them and help you even if you know, I mean, ladies,

1517
01:27:31.420 --> 01:27:34.420
we do want you to pray and ask the Lord, we want you to journal

1518
01:27:34.420 --> 01:27:37.220
your dreams. We want you to pray and ask the Lord to give you

1519
01:27:37.220 --> 01:27:40.620
wisdom and insight. But we want to also help you be like be a

1520
01:27:40.620 --> 01:27:45.620
part of that process with you. And I mean, God gives me just

1521
01:27:45.660 --> 01:27:47.740
all kinds of different revelation for people on their

1522
01:27:47.740 --> 01:27:50.580
dreams. He'll give me questions to ask you all to kind of go

1523
01:27:50.580 --> 01:27:54.880
back and, you know, talk to the Lord more about those things.

1524
01:27:55.140 --> 01:28:00.300
But I think the biggest thing is that for some of you, you know,

1525
01:28:00.440 --> 01:28:04.640
we want healing so bad, and all of us want healing bad. But like

1526
01:28:04.640 --> 01:28:06.920
for some of you, it's like trying to figure out how do we

1527
01:28:06.960 --> 01:28:12.080
how can we, you know, have every little aspect. And I'm hearing

1528
01:28:12.080 --> 01:28:15.680
the word perfection come up, Erica. So, you know, yeah,

1529
01:28:15.680 --> 01:28:19.200
that's area. Yeah. Like, I tried to be perfect, right? Messing

1530
01:28:19.200 --> 01:28:23.160
up. Yeah. And what I want you to know is that you can't mess

1531
01:28:23.160 --> 01:28:28.300
this up. Okay? Yeah. God's gonna help you walk this out one

1532
01:28:28.300 --> 01:28:31.980
little step at a time. Every day. I tell people all the time

1533
01:28:31.980 --> 01:28:35.060
one of the best things you can do is every day ask the Lord,

1534
01:28:35.620 --> 01:28:40.060
Lord, what's one thing I can do today to take a step towards my

1535
01:28:40.060 --> 01:28:43.920
healing? Okay. And if that's reading in the heartwork book,

1536
01:28:43.940 --> 01:28:47.900
if that's watching a video, if that's journaling, if that's

1537
01:28:47.920 --> 01:28:51.360
praying, like he's going to show you and specifically, he'll show

1538
01:28:51.360 --> 01:28:55.700
you sometimes what to pray for. So he's going to help you know

1539
01:28:55.700 --> 01:28:59.840
those action steps to keep taking. And in those, that is

1540
01:28:59.840 --> 01:29:03.840
where we can surrender control. Because sometimes God is going

1541
01:29:03.840 --> 01:29:06.860
to ask us to do things like I've given some of these other ladies

1542
01:29:06.860 --> 01:29:12.680
where we're forgiving people, and we're surrendering them and

1543
01:29:12.680 --> 01:29:17.300
situations to him, you know, and so I think the biggest, you

1544
01:29:17.300 --> 01:29:19.960
know, things for you, again, is coming out of alignment in

1545
01:29:19.960 --> 01:29:22.600
agreement with the lie that you're different, you're not

1546
01:29:22.600 --> 01:29:25.920
good enough, and that you can never be treated equally, because

1547
01:29:25.920 --> 01:29:27.880
that's coming up in my spirit, too, because you were saying a

1548
01:29:27.880 --> 01:29:31.820
lot of your, you know, growing up, they were smart, I was, and

1549
01:29:31.820 --> 01:29:34.920
they were quiet, and I was the opposite. So there's a lot of

1550
01:29:34.920 --> 01:29:40.080
labeling going on there. The was trying to make you feel like you

1551
01:29:40.080 --> 01:29:43.960
were not ever good enough that comparison trap. And so coming

1552
01:29:43.960 --> 01:29:48.780
out of that place, and really stepping into your identity. So

1553
01:29:48.780 --> 01:29:51.940
the silhouette activation from last week will be really

1554
01:29:51.940 --> 01:29:56.300
important for you. God, who do you say that I am?

1555
01:29:57.020 --> 01:29:57.900
One minute, let me work that

1556
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.040
And taking time to let God show you who you are through his eyes, help you hear what his

1557
01:30:06.040 --> 01:30:07.280
spirit is saying.

1558
01:30:07.280 --> 01:30:13.240
If you, if you watch last week's replay towards the end, I kind of explain that a little bit

1559
01:30:13.240 --> 01:30:17.200
more and you can just, even if you're not able to watch the whole thing, just catch

1560
01:30:17.200 --> 01:30:18.200
the end of that.

1561
01:30:18.200 --> 01:30:20.600
Cause it'll be really helpful for you in this process.

1562
01:30:20.600 --> 01:30:21.600
Okay.

1563
01:30:21.600 --> 01:30:22.600
Awesome.

1564
01:30:22.600 --> 01:30:23.600
Thanks for sharing with us.

1565
01:30:23.600 --> 01:30:25.320
Way to go on your first time.

1566
01:30:25.320 --> 01:30:26.320
You did a great job.

1567
01:30:26.320 --> 01:30:27.320
Yeah.

1568
01:30:27.320 --> 01:30:28.320
And I've had therapy today.

1569
01:30:28.320 --> 01:30:29.320
I've had meetings today.

1570
01:30:29.640 --> 01:30:33.720
Y'all, this is how it works.

1571
01:30:33.720 --> 01:30:39.520
We come into community and we, we allow God to work in us and we trust and we allow like

1572
01:30:39.520 --> 01:30:40.880
sisters to come around us.

1573
01:30:40.880 --> 01:30:42.640
It's a beautiful thing, Erica.

1574
01:30:42.640 --> 01:30:44.600
Thank you for sharing Jockabed.

1575
01:30:44.600 --> 01:30:45.600
Go ahead.

1576
01:30:45.600 --> 01:30:46.600
Hello.

1577
01:30:46.600 --> 01:30:47.600
Hello.

1578
01:30:47.600 --> 01:30:51.600
Am I saying your name right?

1579
01:30:51.600 --> 01:30:52.600
It's Jockabed.

1580
01:30:52.600 --> 01:30:53.600
Jockabed.

1581
01:30:53.600 --> 01:30:54.600
Yes.

1582
01:30:54.600 --> 01:30:55.600
Okay.

1583
01:30:55.600 --> 01:31:00.760
I'm going to try it with an accent because I think the Joe sounds like a boy's name.

1584
01:31:00.760 --> 01:31:07.080
So one of the things that you had said earlier that really resonated with me is that I grew

1585
01:31:07.080 --> 01:31:14.560
up in church and my dad was a pastor and it kind of like triggered me to not desire that

1586
01:31:14.560 --> 01:31:24.720
as an older person just because well, my mom was like a very unhappy pastor's wife and

1587
01:31:24.840 --> 01:31:29.840
my dad was not the type of pastor who led a double life, but he did put the ministry

1588
01:31:29.840 --> 01:31:36.360
before his family and my brother became a drug addict and a very abusive person to this

1589
01:31:36.360 --> 01:31:43.720
day and my mom blames him for that, that he never took authority.

1590
01:31:43.720 --> 01:31:47.280
He just let like, let him do whatever he wants because he was so focused on the church's

1591
01:31:47.280 --> 01:31:52.760
problems that he never really paid attention to his own son like that.

1592
01:31:52.800 --> 01:31:59.160
And so, and also my sister as well, she kind of, she blames that my sister went out with

1593
01:31:59.160 --> 01:32:00.800
like not great men.

1594
01:32:00.800 --> 01:32:05.880
It was because, you know, whatever my dad didn't really teach her how to look for a

1595
01:32:05.880 --> 01:32:10.040
good man and my dad was a good guy.

1596
01:32:10.040 --> 01:32:11.640
He was not a bad father.

1597
01:32:11.640 --> 01:32:17.960
We all love him, but you know, he did, you know, just not pay attention to us.

1598
01:32:17.960 --> 01:32:21.480
Like we were not like first, you know, stuff like that.

1599
01:32:21.480 --> 01:32:27.600
So like, I guess fast forward like years later, I'm the only one in my family who's

1600
01:32:27.600 --> 01:32:32.340
been single, but all my siblings have been divorced actually.

1601
01:32:32.340 --> 01:32:35.520
So I'm the only one who's never been married and has no children.

1602
01:32:35.520 --> 01:32:38.320
They all have children actually.

1603
01:32:38.320 --> 01:32:48.880
And so now I'm the only one who's actually like serving the Lord, but it's been kind

1604
01:32:48.880 --> 01:32:56.960
of like rough with my dating because I feel like now I'm a lawyer and like, it's, it's

1605
01:32:56.960 --> 01:33:01.320
so different for me because I've gone out with Christian guys and I've been dumped by

1606
01:33:01.320 --> 01:33:05.600
Christian guys because they think that I'm not going to be a good wife.

1607
01:33:05.600 --> 01:33:09.200
And so it kind of like, because of your job or what?

1608
01:33:09.200 --> 01:33:10.200
Yes.

1609
01:33:10.200 --> 01:33:15.360
And, um, they see my family dynamic and the way my mom is, and they think that that's going

1610
01:33:15.360 --> 01:33:20.240
to kind of be like their life and how my, what my mom was like, cause my mom was also

1611
01:33:20.240 --> 01:33:21.240
very narcissistic.

1612
01:33:21.240 --> 01:33:25.600
She like treated my dad really bad, but I was like the nicest guy.

1613
01:33:25.600 --> 01:33:33.200
And like, um, so it kind of like, I like the very first time, like I did, I waited on the

1614
01:33:33.200 --> 01:33:35.660
Lord for years and years.

1615
01:33:35.660 --> 01:33:39.360
And then I met this guy at church and then he dumped me because he didn't think that

1616
01:33:39.360 --> 01:33:41.560
I was going to be a good wife or a good mother.

1617
01:33:41.560 --> 01:33:45.560
Was it one guy that did this and said this, or more than one guy that has said that?

1618
01:33:45.560 --> 01:33:47.100
One guy who said this.

1619
01:33:47.100 --> 01:33:51.680
And then every time I've been like, tried to get like hooked up with somebody like in

1620
01:33:51.680 --> 01:33:56.240
the church or something like that, every time they meet me, they don't want to like pursue

1621
01:33:56.240 --> 01:33:57.240
anything.

1622
01:33:57.240 --> 01:33:59.880
Let me ask you a question.

1623
01:33:59.880 --> 01:34:05.600
And when I ask you this question, I don't want you to worry about us thinking something

1624
01:34:05.600 --> 01:34:07.880
bad about your mom.

1625
01:34:07.880 --> 01:34:09.400
Okay.

1626
01:34:09.400 --> 01:34:14.200
Did you ever feel like your mom wasn't a good wife?

1627
01:34:14.200 --> 01:34:16.160
I do feel that way.

1628
01:34:16.160 --> 01:34:17.160
Okay.

1629
01:34:17.160 --> 01:34:22.660
Here's the thing you, you need to take some steps to forgive your mom and come out of

1630
01:34:22.660 --> 01:34:27.080
bitterness and resentment towards her for not being a good wife or being maybe not being

1631
01:34:27.080 --> 01:34:29.360
a good mom or, or whatever.

1632
01:34:29.360 --> 01:34:35.160
Cause what's happening from my perspective is it's attracting like those statements being

1633
01:34:35.160 --> 01:34:40.840
made over you, even though that's most likely not even true about you, but like that, that

1634
01:34:40.840 --> 01:34:45.880
guy saying that to you, as soon as he said it in your subconscious, somehow you partnered

1635
01:34:45.880 --> 01:34:46.880
with it.

1636
01:34:46.880 --> 01:34:50.120
Does that make sense?

1637
01:34:50.120 --> 01:34:54.280
So we got to come out of agreement with the lie that was spoken over you through that

1638
01:34:54.280 --> 01:34:56.360
man, that you wouldn't be a good wife.

1639
01:34:56.360 --> 01:35:00.040
Because now what I hear you saying is without saying it, you're afraid.

1640
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.400
that this is what men are going to think about you. That's why I said, is this just your job?

1641
01:35:04.400 --> 01:35:10.160
And that's where you started explaining more. And so coming out of agreement with those lies,

1642
01:35:10.160 --> 01:35:14.720
that's not who you are. And again, like, what is God saying about you? Does God say you're

1643
01:35:14.720 --> 01:35:19.440
going to be a good wife? Does God say you're going to be healthy and be able to establish

1644
01:35:19.440 --> 01:35:24.240
a good family? I think God wants to tell you some things about that, but let's lean into what he's

1645
01:35:24.240 --> 01:35:30.400
saying. But forgiving your mom and, and, and ladies, sometimes we don't even realize

1646
01:35:31.920 --> 01:35:36.880
how deep the bitter root goes. Yeah. Cause even recently,

1647
01:35:36.880 --> 01:35:42.000
cause the only longest relationship I've ever had was with a Jewish guy. And

1648
01:35:44.800 --> 01:35:50.640
recently we were, we, and I, cause even when I have gotten on dates with Christian guys,

1649
01:35:50.640 --> 01:35:55.760
it's either doesn't go past one day or I've gotten, basically the first time it was,

1650
01:35:55.760 --> 01:36:02.240
I got dumped within like a few months. And then, um, every time that's happened,

1651
01:36:02.240 --> 01:36:07.040
like my, even my mom recently was just like, we went to like this kosher restaurant. Cause I live,

1652
01:36:07.040 --> 01:36:12.160
I live in Southern California. So we were in LA and we went to this kosher restaurant with my

1653
01:36:12.160 --> 01:36:18.400
brother. And then she was just like, Oh, well, I feel like the guys here are actually checking you

1654
01:36:18.400 --> 01:36:23.920
out. And when we go to church, cause we was like mother's day. And we, I had gone to her church

1655
01:36:23.920 --> 01:36:30.560
cause my dad passed away. So I went to her church and, um, I went to her church and then she's just

1656
01:36:30.560 --> 01:36:34.640
like, well, it seems like you're actually guys checking out. Cause if we go to church, you know,

1657
01:36:34.640 --> 01:36:40.400
you're not going to get nobody, you know, you're not getting nobody. So it's, I feel like, is that

1658
01:36:40.400 --> 01:36:47.600
a lie that I feel like I'm starting to like partner with probably they value like Jewish men value,

1659
01:36:47.600 --> 01:36:53.440
the type of woman that I am as far as like being a lawyer, because I feel like every time I go on,

1660
01:36:53.440 --> 01:36:59.760
like the group that I'm in, um, for like, I was in this, I joined this like singles group.

1661
01:37:00.320 --> 01:37:04.880
And every time some guy posts, you know, something, they always, one of the things that

1662
01:37:04.880 --> 01:37:10.240
they post, if they've never been married, it's like, they want a woman who wants to stay home

1663
01:37:10.240 --> 01:37:14.960
and like, doesn't have a career. And some guys kind of say stuff like that.

1664
01:37:14.960 --> 01:37:19.360
Yeah. And, and that's okay. I mean, it's just that that's not going to be your spirit mate.

1665
01:37:20.960 --> 01:37:26.160
And so I wonder like, is that in the cards for me? Like, you know what I mean? Like,

1666
01:37:26.800 --> 01:37:32.960
okay, here's the thing. You have to trust that God has a spirit mate for you. He already knows

1667
01:37:32.960 --> 01:37:41.040
what your profession is. Okay. And so just because, um, we may feel that some people

1668
01:37:41.040 --> 01:37:47.680
have a different preference, that doesn't mean that God can't lead you to a spirit mate that

1669
01:37:47.680 --> 01:37:53.040
is like, thinks it's amazing that right now you're just rocking it. And, you know, those

1670
01:37:53.040 --> 01:37:57.760
conversations about what you all do, if you, if you want kids and all those kinds of things can

1671
01:37:57.760 --> 01:38:04.320
come later, but just, I think just encouraging you to not partner with that. You're not going

1672
01:38:04.320 --> 01:38:08.560
to be chosen because you're a lawyer and you can only date certain guys because you have this

1673
01:38:08.560 --> 01:38:13.120
profession. Um, those are all things I would encourage you to not partner with because those

1674
01:38:13.120 --> 01:38:20.400
are all fear-based and remember fear has to do with torment, but perfect love casts out fear.

1675
01:38:20.400 --> 01:38:26.640
So if you continue to allow yourself to soak in the truth of who God is as love for you

1676
01:38:27.280 --> 01:38:34.320
and towards you, and he has all this love that he wants to express to you. Um, the more that you

1677
01:38:34.320 --> 01:38:40.240
soak in that, the more it will help you kind of let go of these fears, these doubts and unbelief

1678
01:38:40.240 --> 01:38:46.560
that are all partnering together. And yes, things your mom are saying, like is saying to you is,

1679
01:38:46.560 --> 01:38:51.360
is definitely feeding into those fears for you. And so I would just encourage you ladies, this

1680
01:38:51.360 --> 01:38:57.600
is for all of you before you go around anybody that tends to be negative or say negative things,

1681
01:38:57.600 --> 01:39:03.920
whether they mean to or not put on the armor of God, you guys have to go armored up. I can't tell

1682
01:39:03.920 --> 01:39:12.400
you how important this is. Um, my mom, a lover, she's no longer with us. Um, man, it was tough

1683
01:39:12.400 --> 01:39:17.600
to be around her sometimes, especially towards the end. She was very, just very bitter and lonely,

1684
01:39:18.160 --> 01:39:24.160
and she would spew things out on me, but you all doubt, like at the end, when she was passing away,

1685
01:39:24.160 --> 01:39:28.960
I was the only person that she wanted to take care of her. Very interesting. I think that God

1686
01:39:28.960 --> 01:39:35.120
was working in that somehow. And so we have to just continue to surrender. Like even in those

1687
01:39:35.120 --> 01:39:41.760
situations, you know, God helped me to hear only what your spirit is saying that you would

1688
01:39:41.760 --> 01:39:48.720
literally guard me from what the, the, you know, the lions are speaking and help me to hear and

1689
01:39:48.720 --> 01:39:54.400
know you like your truth. Nobody else's truth, but your truth Lord. And so I want to encourage

1690
01:39:54.400 --> 01:39:58.400
you, like come out of alignment with some of those things also just, you know, again,

1691
01:39:58.400 --> 01:39:59.840
forgiving your mom and being able.

1692
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.160
to start working on the forgiveness prayer sheets regarding the ways that it sounds.

1693
01:40:06.800 --> 01:40:14.960
Probably like you might be standing in judgment of her some. Okay. And so remember what I said

1694
01:40:14.960 --> 01:40:24.240
when I was reading that excerpt judgment has to do with a fragmented heart. So most likely

1695
01:40:24.240 --> 01:40:29.280
things that your mom did in the past and it created breakdown or pain in your family.

1696
01:40:29.280 --> 01:40:34.960
There was probably times along the way where you judged her and you partnered with that. And then

1697
01:40:34.960 --> 01:40:39.440
you like every time after that, if there was additional wounding, there could have been

1698
01:40:39.440 --> 01:40:45.600
additional judgments or criticisms made or those kinds of things. That's how the strongholds form

1699
01:40:45.600 --> 01:40:51.440
ladies is that every time new news, something new is presented to us that we don't know any better.

1700
01:40:51.440 --> 01:40:54.880
And we have all this brokenness. And so we keep partnering with it and we keep partnering with

1701
01:40:54.880 --> 01:40:59.440
it and we keep partnering. And that's, that's where the strongholds get developed. Does that

1702
01:40:59.440 --> 01:41:04.160
make sense? All right. So look forward to hearing how this goes. I think there's a lot of good

1703
01:41:04.160 --> 01:41:12.000
things. You can have everything God wants for you, including a spirit mate. He's not surprised by

1704
01:41:12.000 --> 01:41:19.200
your profession. Okay. Yeah. Love this. Y'all let's partner with truth. What is heaven saying? I led

1705
01:41:19.520 --> 01:41:26.080
the prayer call this morning. That was one of the things God was saying. So God, what are you saying

1706
01:41:26.080 --> 01:41:32.160
over me from heaven today? All right. If anyone needs to jump off totally fine. I am going to go

1707
01:41:32.160 --> 01:41:36.800
ahead and let these last three ladies share, but I won't be able to take anybody else. And we're

1708
01:41:36.800 --> 01:41:43.360
going to do our best to be done. Literally. I cannot go past 10 y'all I'll start getting in

1709
01:41:43.360 --> 01:41:47.280
trouble with the boss. So Catherine, I would love to hear what you have to say.

1710
01:41:49.600 --> 01:41:59.040
I mean, I definitely feel inspired to share, especially with, um, other sisters in Christ

1711
01:41:59.040 --> 01:42:06.400
here talking about, about feeling less than for not being married, feeling like all the different

1712
01:42:06.400 --> 01:42:12.000
things that were shared, which I feel like we lift each other up being open and everything.

1713
01:42:12.640 --> 01:42:21.440
Um, I actually really feel less than, and I wish my only problem was I was never married,

1714
01:42:21.440 --> 01:42:27.840
but to have a marriage and in divorce and be shamed about it on Facebook, I'm not even kidding.

1715
01:42:29.760 --> 01:42:34.640
And, um, my son's father is the one who wanted it in the first place. I mean,

1716
01:42:34.640 --> 01:42:39.760
it makes me go to a certain place where trust me, if I could control the man, I would,

1717
01:42:40.480 --> 01:42:46.800
I would. And it's like, and then I go into that zone. And even speaking of powerful dreams,

1718
01:42:46.800 --> 01:42:52.320
this is probably why I've had very powerful dreams of being president of this country or vice

1719
01:42:52.320 --> 01:42:58.000
president, you know, kind of like, Oh, I want to show him, but you know, it's stuff like that,

1720
01:42:58.000 --> 01:43:04.320
that really made me feel like, Oh my gosh, I'm a horrible wife. Um, and then I've even believed

1721
01:43:04.320 --> 01:43:09.680
that, okay, I'm definitely within the generational curse because my parents got a

1722
01:43:09.680 --> 01:43:15.600
divorce and have even been thinking, Oh, I could use a massive deliverance and get rid of that

1723
01:43:15.600 --> 01:43:22.000
as well. But I mean, this, this is the hardest thing because I feel like I get so judged

1724
01:43:23.360 --> 01:43:30.320
because of this and basically told that I can't have a spirit mate at all because of this or

1725
01:43:31.120 --> 01:43:38.640
you certain quote unquote Christians on Facebook, which is why I know as my son grows up, I'm going

1726
01:43:38.640 --> 01:43:45.120
to be telling him really watch on social media because that could be the biggest place people

1727
01:43:45.120 --> 01:43:53.280
can be a bully. Yeah. Yeah. Have you watched the divorce and remarriage video session yet?

1728
01:43:54.080 --> 01:44:00.960
I don't think I have. Okay. But I am inspired that Jackie has said she has been divorced before

1729
01:44:00.960 --> 01:44:04.960
and then she's got her good spirit mate now. I mean, I don't know what I would do without that

1730
01:44:05.520 --> 01:44:10.080
because literally when it comes to my son's dad, he wanted the divorce. So he abandoned me

1731
01:44:11.280 --> 01:44:16.320
and he cheated on me. And I know those are biblical ground. And I know I've been told by

1732
01:44:17.200 --> 01:44:23.840
good Christians that I've put myself under their leadership. I've taken classes with them. I've

1733
01:44:23.840 --> 01:44:29.840
helped out in their ministry. I've been told, no, I have biblical ground, but then there's

1734
01:44:29.840 --> 01:44:35.760
those one or two that's really legalistic of like, well, like adultery is adultery. And like,

1735
01:44:35.760 --> 01:44:39.120
you can't remarry unless he's dead. And it's like, believe me,

1736
01:44:39.600 --> 01:44:50.080
I wish many times that I was a widow instead. Are these people that you are just friends

1737
01:44:50.080 --> 01:44:54.160
with on Facebook or you spend time with them? These people that are talking to you this way?

1738
01:44:55.120 --> 01:44:59.840
Thankfully, no, it's just people in what's supposed to be.

1739
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:07.040
Christian groups on Facebook, but then they say, they say ridiculous things like that,

1740
01:45:07.040 --> 01:45:08.040
like that.

1741
01:45:08.040 --> 01:45:09.040
Okay.

1742
01:45:09.040 --> 01:45:13.800
People that you don't even know really are saying and attacking you.

1743
01:45:13.800 --> 01:45:14.800
Okay.

1744
01:45:14.800 --> 01:45:15.800
All right.

1745
01:45:15.800 --> 01:45:20.000
I'm going to encourage you for a little while just to maybe not get in those groups and

1746
01:45:20.000 --> 01:45:21.000
interact.

1747
01:45:21.000 --> 01:45:26.720
I want you to have a time of like healing and being away from people's judgment and

1748
01:45:26.720 --> 01:45:33.200
their criticisms and all the things and being shamed for it on Facebook, because let's just

1749
01:45:33.200 --> 01:45:38.480
pull away from all of that and really just spend this time only on your heartwork and

1750
01:45:38.480 --> 01:45:43.400
hearing what God wants to say to you, um, that divorce and remarriage.

1751
01:45:43.400 --> 01:45:47.560
I would love for you to go ahead, no matter what week you're on, you can click and look

1752
01:45:47.560 --> 01:45:48.560
through those weeks.

1753
01:45:48.560 --> 01:45:49.560
And I want you to find that.

1754
01:45:49.560 --> 01:45:50.760
I forget what week it's in.

1755
01:45:50.760 --> 01:45:54.360
I just can't remember right now, but it's in, it's in one of the weeks and you can,

1756
01:45:54.360 --> 01:45:55.360
okay.

1757
01:45:55.360 --> 01:45:56.360
Pamela, thank you.

1758
01:45:57.000 --> 01:46:00.440
I think that I would love for you to listen to that this week, because I, I feel like

1759
01:46:00.440 --> 01:46:05.520
some of the stuff that you've been like, that has been said to you, um, is probably partnering

1760
01:46:05.520 --> 01:46:11.600
with things that you heard even growing up where some, a lot of times y'all, the whole

1761
01:46:11.600 --> 01:46:17.120
divorce and remarriage and all that is very wrongly preached from a lot of pulpits.

1762
01:46:17.120 --> 01:46:18.120
Okay.

1763
01:46:18.120 --> 01:46:22.120
And so it's really important to guard your heart and your mind, uh, through Christ Jesus

1764
01:46:22.120 --> 01:46:24.240
a hundred percent in this regard.

1765
01:46:24.240 --> 01:46:26.520
But this week, that's, that's the assignment I have for you.

1766
01:46:26.520 --> 01:46:31.760
I feel like that's going to help you, um, heal a little bit more, hear the truth of,

1767
01:46:31.760 --> 01:46:37.120
of what God's word actually says, um, and start to plant some good seeds in there.

1768
01:46:37.120 --> 01:46:43.480
Um, the feeling less than, you know, if that is really deep in your core, let's ask the

1769
01:46:43.480 --> 01:46:45.640
Lord to reveal to you where that started.

1770
01:46:45.640 --> 01:46:52.040
If it started before the divorce, um, that you would know again, that root of that.

1771
01:46:52.040 --> 01:46:56.920
And so when we, when we ask, when we ask for the root, we ask for God to reveal that

1772
01:46:56.920 --> 01:47:01.680
so that we don't have done all this other stuff, as I was talking about, that's building

1773
01:47:01.680 --> 01:47:02.680
on top of that.

1774
01:47:02.680 --> 01:47:04.800
If the root gets healed, guess what?

1775
01:47:04.800 --> 01:47:08.680
It creates this ripple effect and the other stuff starts to get healed too.

1776
01:47:08.680 --> 01:47:13.280
And so that's, that's genuinely my encouragement for you this week.

1777
01:47:13.280 --> 01:47:16.920
Um, and, um, here's the other thing.

1778
01:47:16.920 --> 01:47:21.280
I know it can be tough when an ex, cause I I've gone through it multiple times when they

1779
01:47:21.520 --> 01:47:28.920
say crazy stuff on Facebook or wherever, um, or even to you directly via text, or.

1780
01:47:28.920 --> 01:47:33.520
I just want to encourage you to get your identity from the word and no one else and nothing

1781
01:47:33.520 --> 01:47:34.520
else.

1782
01:47:34.520 --> 01:47:38.260
And, and I know it can be tough when they're saying hurtful things and they're putting

1783
01:47:38.260 --> 01:47:43.040
it out there wherever they're putting it for people to see, but that you would just know

1784
01:47:43.040 --> 01:47:48.160
that you're God defended and God will bring everything that's in darkness to the light

1785
01:47:48.160 --> 01:47:53.800
and he will reveal what needs to be revealed that we would trust him to protect us and,

1786
01:47:53.800 --> 01:47:54.800
and look over us.

1787
01:47:54.800 --> 01:48:00.760
And honestly, if ladies, if we are moving forward and our eyes are on heaven, and we're

1788
01:48:00.760 --> 01:48:04.800
looking for things that are true, noble, lovely, and of good report, guess what?

1789
01:48:04.800 --> 01:48:08.320
Even when those people are doing and saying those things, we're going to stop engaging

1790
01:48:08.320 --> 01:48:10.120
with that garbage.

1791
01:48:10.120 --> 01:48:11.320
Okay.

1792
01:48:11.320 --> 01:48:14.440
Not that you are engaging it, but I'm saying this for everyone.

1793
01:48:14.440 --> 01:48:20.000
I had to learn to walk in a lot of self-control because every time I would even try to say

1794
01:48:20.000 --> 01:48:25.320
something positive, it would always get spun and turned into all this gaslighting and garbage.

1795
01:48:25.320 --> 01:48:26.560
And you know what?

1796
01:48:26.560 --> 01:48:30.080
Guess what was the most effective?

1797
01:48:30.080 --> 01:48:32.420
Not saying anything.

1798
01:48:32.420 --> 01:48:35.120
And that would really tick him off sometimes too in the beginning.

1799
01:48:35.120 --> 01:48:41.000
But the more that I just didn't engage in the garbage, I just kept moving forward.

1800
01:48:41.000 --> 01:48:42.400
And you know what?

1801
01:48:42.400 --> 01:48:49.920
The garbage can at some point got left way back there and it wasn't with me anymore.

1802
01:48:49.920 --> 01:48:51.440
And that will happen for you too.

1803
01:48:51.440 --> 01:48:54.820
Now, when you all have kids with people, it's a little trickier.

1804
01:48:54.820 --> 01:48:59.360
My spiritual daughters aren't like my bio daughters, but in the beginning I still had,

1805
01:48:59.360 --> 01:49:02.960
like I had them all the time and I would have to engage with their dad.

1806
01:49:02.960 --> 01:49:09.440
Yes, man, that's trickier when I had to see him and hear this stuff, but I just kept praying

1807
01:49:09.520 --> 01:49:13.720
God help, like, just help me just to not engage and protect me even when he's saying crazy

1808
01:49:13.720 --> 01:49:14.720
stuff.

1809
01:49:14.720 --> 01:49:17.320
And, and that's just what I prayed and God did that for me.

1810
01:49:17.320 --> 01:49:19.800
I believe you'll do that for you too.

1811
01:49:19.800 --> 01:49:21.200
And I feel like I needed to hear that.

1812
01:49:21.200 --> 01:49:27.680
I feel like that was 100% like all God, because God knows he definitely has trashed me on

1813
01:49:27.680 --> 01:49:28.680
Facebook.

1814
01:49:28.680 --> 01:49:33.960
I actually got him in trouble when in court over that has even said stuff behind my back,

1815
01:49:33.960 --> 01:49:37.520
which that I shouldn't have been looking for.

1816
01:49:38.440 --> 01:49:39.440
That was on my fault.

1817
01:49:39.440 --> 01:49:41.960
And I think it's time to delete that stuff.

1818
01:49:41.960 --> 01:49:43.760
And I do have a son with him.

1819
01:49:43.760 --> 01:49:51.040
I do have a son with him, but at least he's signed off that I can move my son from Long

1820
01:49:51.040 --> 01:49:53.400
Island to upstate New York.

1821
01:49:53.400 --> 01:49:56.760
But even then we're going to have to come back down and I'm going to have to deal with

1822
01:49:56.760 --> 01:49:57.760
him.

1823
01:49:57.760 --> 01:50:00.040
But so forgiving him is going to forgive.

1824
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:02.480
I think him is going to be a huge part of this for you, too.

1825
01:50:02.880 --> 01:50:07.480
Okay, absolutely. 100%. And I already decided for my son. I

1826
01:50:07.480 --> 01:50:11.840
don't want that to turn into what I saw with my parents. Yeah.

1827
01:50:11.880 --> 01:50:15.400
And how much my mom held on all that anger towards my dad for

1828
01:50:15.400 --> 01:50:18.440
years. I've already made that decision for my son. And I know

1829
01:50:18.440 --> 01:50:22.200
it's for me to Yes, it is for me to your freedom to not do that.

1830
01:50:22.720 --> 01:50:26.920
Yes. Walking into forgiveness is setting yourself free just as

1831
01:50:26.920 --> 01:50:29.680
much as it's setting everyone else free. Catherine, thank you

1832
01:50:29.680 --> 01:50:34.800
so much for sharing. Really appreciate you. Alexandra. Go

1833
01:50:34.800 --> 01:50:35.320
ahead.

1834
01:50:36.840 --> 01:50:44.680
Okay, hey, hi. Um, so I think for me, what came up was that

1835
01:50:44.720 --> 01:50:48.680
this when things go wrong, what comes up for me is like, I'm not

1836
01:50:48.680 --> 01:50:51.760
capable of dealing with this or I'm not, I'm not going to be

1837
01:50:51.760 --> 01:50:55.000
able to, to Yeah, I'm not capable of dealing with this.

1838
01:50:55.000 --> 01:50:59.200
And then I trace that back to just my upbringing stuff going

1839
01:50:59.200 --> 01:51:04.480
on. And my family was really rough. I was neglected when my

1840
01:51:04.480 --> 01:51:07.600
parents before my parents got divorced, and then they got

1841
01:51:07.600 --> 01:51:11.400
divorced. And then just a lot fell out from under us. My dad

1842
01:51:11.400 --> 01:51:16.120
took the house away. And we came home and these movers were like

1843
01:51:16.120 --> 01:51:20.200
packing our whole house up. And we moved into another house that

1844
01:51:20.200 --> 01:51:24.600
had molds. And then my mom got super. She was already addicted

1845
01:51:24.600 --> 01:51:28.080
to stuff, but super in into alcohol with her boyfriend and

1846
01:51:28.080 --> 01:51:32.080
just kind of left us at home a lot. And I was like in middle

1847
01:51:32.080 --> 01:51:38.160
school at that age, but so I just and then we lived in this

1848
01:51:38.160 --> 01:51:40.880
town or like everyone else had it together is like, or they

1849
01:51:40.880 --> 01:51:45.040
seem to is like very rich little town fam. Nobody else was

1850
01:51:45.040 --> 01:51:49.480
divorced, or very, that's just, I guess my friend group or the

1851
01:51:49.480 --> 01:51:53.280
town that I lived in. That's what it seems like. So I just

1852
01:51:53.280 --> 01:51:56.160
decided like something was really wrong with me at some

1853
01:51:56.160 --> 01:51:59.480
point. And I don't I think that I did some therapy on that too.

1854
01:51:59.480 --> 01:52:02.920
And I think when I was home alone, at some point, I decided

1855
01:52:02.920 --> 01:52:07.080
that there's something wrong with me. Like when my parents

1856
01:52:07.200 --> 01:52:11.240
should have been there. And so that still sticks with me. Oh,

1857
01:52:11.240 --> 01:52:15.800
my gosh. So and I've dealt with like worth trying to like pray

1858
01:52:15.800 --> 01:52:20.080
into my worth with God. And I speak that over myself a lot. So

1859
01:52:20.080 --> 01:52:23.120
I've grown in that area. But I think it still comes out

1860
01:52:23.120 --> 01:52:27.240
especially in dating, like, just that I'm not capable of

1861
01:52:27.280 --> 01:52:30.040
doing becoming who I want to become.

1862
01:52:30.840 --> 01:52:34.560
Okay. So when you say that you have thoughts like something was

1863
01:52:34.560 --> 01:52:40.200
wrong with you? Um, do you feel like at some point or any point

1864
01:52:40.200 --> 01:52:45.360
that you felt like your parents divorce was your fault? Was that

1865
01:52:45.360 --> 01:52:46.800
ever a thought that you had?

1866
01:52:47.680 --> 01:52:51.760
I it I think what I thought was like, Oh, I wasn't a nut. Like I

1867
01:52:51.760 --> 01:52:54.120
couldn't have kept this together. I wasn't enough to

1868
01:52:54.120 --> 01:52:55.120
keep this together.

1869
01:52:57.320 --> 01:52:59.920
Yeah, that's what the reason I was asking you because when you

1870
01:52:59.920 --> 01:53:02.120
say I'm not capable of dealing with us, that's where you

1871
01:53:02.120 --> 01:53:05.280
started. And then as you were talking and sharing about your

1872
01:53:05.280 --> 01:53:07.640
parents that you just kept feeling like something was wrong

1873
01:53:07.640 --> 01:53:13.520
with you versus something wasn't healthy with them. Even though

1874
01:53:13.520 --> 01:53:16.760
you knew stuff wasn't healthy, you were taking like you were

1875
01:53:16.760 --> 01:53:20.160
owning it as if there was something wrong with you.

1876
01:53:20.920 --> 01:53:23.280
Yeah, and I don't know, I think that's just what I decided when

1877
01:53:23.280 --> 01:53:26.800
I was alone one day. Like, that's, I don't know, my

1878
01:53:26.800 --> 01:53:30.160
sisters were making fun of me that time to like, they were

1879
01:53:30.160 --> 01:53:33.200
older than me, they didn't want to hang out with me. And so I

1880
01:53:33.200 --> 01:53:36.600
think that's those two things were happening at the same time.

1881
01:53:36.600 --> 01:53:43.400
And I just felt not worthy, I guess, and attached it to this

1882
01:53:43.400 --> 01:53:47.200
must be my fault. So I always tried to be really good. So

1883
01:53:47.600 --> 01:53:52.320
I've tried to be really perfect. And like, so then I can be very

1884
01:53:52.320 --> 01:53:55.520
hard on myself. And then I'm really hard on other people as

1885
01:53:55.520 --> 01:53:57.840
well. And that's what I'm struggling with right now is I'm

1886
01:53:57.840 --> 01:54:04.040
very critical and judgmental and hurt very easily by people. So

1887
01:54:04.040 --> 01:54:07.960
like the forgiveness, I'm trying to keep pressing on but I'm like

1888
01:54:07.960 --> 01:54:13.120
I have such a laundry list of hurts that so it's just gonna

1889
01:54:13.120 --> 01:54:13.920
take some time.

1890
01:54:14.880 --> 01:54:17.240
Well, and the being hard on yourself and others that

1891
01:54:17.240 --> 01:54:20.920
critical again, that's, that's just a defense mechanism that

1892
01:54:20.920 --> 01:54:27.320
you've learned over the years to self protect and yourself from

1893
01:54:27.360 --> 01:54:31.520
like, like, these people coming in and hurting and taking,

1894
01:54:31.520 --> 01:54:37.680
taking, taking. And so I just keep feeling like on this

1895
01:54:37.680 --> 01:54:41.080
something wrong with me. I want to encourage you to ask the Lord

1896
01:54:41.080 --> 01:54:45.960
this week to show you the first time that you had that thought.

1897
01:54:47.400 --> 01:54:50.680
In particular, and not only to show you like, what was the

1898
01:54:50.680 --> 01:54:53.680
memory that you had the thought but I want you to ask Jesus to

1899
01:54:53.680 --> 01:54:58.120
reveal to you where was he when that was happening? And what does

1900
01:54:58.120 --> 01:54:59.520
he want you to know about it?

1901
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:07.840
Because this feels deep to me, and I think it's going into your identity core somewhere.

1902
01:55:08.560 --> 01:55:12.640
There's another lie that's partnering with it, but I just, I can't put my finger on it tonight.

1903
01:55:12.640 --> 01:55:20.240
But I feel like as you ask the Lord this, that he's going to illuminate that original situation

1904
01:55:20.240 --> 01:55:25.040
and dynamic when you believed the lie that something was wrong with you. But then when

1905
01:55:25.040 --> 01:55:31.120
he comes in, if you ask him to reveal, Jesus, where were you in this situation? And what do

1906
01:55:31.120 --> 01:55:35.280
you want me to know about it? He's literally going to be able to speak truth to you right

1907
01:55:35.280 --> 01:55:41.200
into the core of that situation. Does that make sense? Because right now, like, and this is where

1908
01:55:41.200 --> 01:55:46.240
you're doing a great job, but this is where ladies, we have to really, especially when we have

1909
01:55:46.240 --> 01:55:49.600
counselors and we've got multiple people we're working with and we're working on all this stuff

1910
01:55:49.600 --> 01:55:55.200
and we're working and we're working and that's good. But there comes a time where we just have

1911
01:55:55.200 --> 01:56:03.040
to like, say, Lord, like, I need you to help me with this supernaturally to give me revelation

1912
01:56:03.040 --> 01:56:10.240
on this because he knows what we like, he knows the why behind the what. Okay. So he knows the

1913
01:56:10.240 --> 01:56:20.320
why behind the, the lie, something is wrong with me. He can reveal that to you. Okay. And then also

1914
01:56:20.320 --> 01:56:30.560
on the, I feel like on the heart on yourself and other people, as you work on the forgiveness

1915
01:56:30.560 --> 01:56:40.800
prayer sheets, I really want to encourage you to go to the original, like the dad taking the

1916
01:56:40.800 --> 01:56:50.640
house from you, man, that is huge. Yeah. I'm still upset. Yeah. I mean, even hearing that myself,

1917
01:56:50.640 --> 01:56:55.360
I just can't imagine. And I'm so sorry that that happens to you and your family.

1918
01:56:56.080 --> 01:57:01.760
But forgiving him, even again, even if you've already done it, do a forgiveness prayer sheet

1919
01:57:01.760 --> 01:57:08.800
around that time. And I want you to ask the Lord to show you the feelings that you had when that

1920
01:57:08.800 --> 01:57:15.600
happened and identify them. And I want you to allow the Lord to help you like,

1921
01:57:17.680 --> 01:57:22.640
accept yourself even in that moment, no matter what the thing is. Okay. And that you wouldn't

1922
01:57:22.640 --> 01:57:28.160
shame it or push it away or like receive any guilt or condemnation for what you were feeling,

1923
01:57:28.880 --> 01:57:35.040
but then also inviting God to bring the truth into that situation as well. I feel like this

1924
01:57:35.040 --> 01:57:39.040
week is going to be focused on you inviting Jesus and God, the father to bring truth into

1925
01:57:39.040 --> 01:57:46.640
these situations. Yeah. You know, did you ever happen to talk to your dad about that situation

1926
01:57:46.640 --> 01:57:52.960
and like why he did that? No, that would be a good idea. And I, well, I might have a long,

1927
01:57:52.960 --> 01:57:56.960
long time ago. And I think he was just like, it's the only option I had, like,

1928
01:57:56.960 --> 01:58:03.040
which I, I like, I mean, he just wasn't great with finances at all. And like my, his brothers

1929
01:58:03.040 --> 01:58:08.080
were helping him financially and they didn't like my mom. So their ultimatum I'm sure was,

1930
01:58:08.800 --> 01:58:13.520
you know, if we're going to be helping you, he blames other people for everything though. So,

1931
01:58:13.520 --> 01:58:16.160
Oh, he hasn't taken responsibility is what I hear you saying.

1932
01:58:18.000 --> 01:58:23.200
Yeah. Both my parents don't usually. Okay. So that's something you're going to need to forgive

1933
01:58:23.200 --> 01:58:28.560
them for as well. Yeah. Responsibility and owning, just like we talked to you all in here,

1934
01:58:28.560 --> 01:58:33.920
we have to own our side of the street ladies. Okay. So we can't make other people on their

1935
01:58:33.920 --> 01:58:38.480
side of the street, but we can forgive them for the times that they're, they haven't been willing

1936
01:58:38.480 --> 01:58:44.320
or they haven't been capable of it because when they're broken, they're not whole. So they,

1937
01:58:44.320 --> 01:58:49.760
they aren't going to do healthy things like take responsibility. Right. But let's forgive them.

1938
01:58:49.760 --> 01:58:54.080
It doesn't mean that we have to allow it to be okay. We're not saying, Hey, this is okay that

1939
01:58:54.080 --> 01:59:03.840
you did this, but we're saying, you know, I forgive you for selling the house and not protecting and

1940
01:59:03.840 --> 01:59:10.640
defending us. Yeah. Okay. Those are a couple of big things. So I'm going to leave you with that

1941
01:59:10.640 --> 01:59:15.200
and let's see how that goes this week. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. You're welcome.

1942
01:59:15.200 --> 01:59:20.880
My pleasure. Hilda last but not least. I'm so excited to hear what you have to say.

1943
01:59:23.120 --> 01:59:31.120
Hi. Okay. So you have, you guys have all, by the time I got to this call, you guys have all kind of

1944
01:59:32.000 --> 01:59:38.880
helped me with what I was going to say. So thank you. So one of the things that you mentioned was

1945
01:59:38.880 --> 01:59:45.200
the thought control. I'm very sensitive to when I speak with someone, I kind of,

1946
01:59:45.920 --> 01:59:51.280
and I'm having a conversation, I kind of know when they're either struggling, like not struggling,

1947
01:59:51.280 --> 01:59:58.160
but that something's bothered them. I'm kind of sensitive to that. And when I, when I pointed out,

1948
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:22.000
Then they, they get offended offensive. And then I can't go deeper in a, in a good like it's hard for me to have good friendships, like I can't, I can't like even count, like how many times I've been in a situation where I was just being

1949
02:00:22.000 --> 02:00:37.000
authentic. I was just being genuine. I was just trying to have a healthy relationship conversation. And based on what the topic was and so on, and then the person would just completely get offended so now that's in my mind.

1950
02:00:37.000 --> 02:00:47.000
Every time I go to speak. And of course we need to listen more be more an active listener and I am I've done tremendous amount of work on communications.

1951
02:00:47.000 --> 02:00:59.000
The Lord has revealed to me but I still have that lack of confidence and kind of like, you know, start talking to myself like, you know, you know, every time there's a birthday.

1952
02:00:59.000 --> 02:01:06.000
I don't really have genuine relationships like, oh my gosh, God, years have passed by.

1953
02:01:06.000 --> 02:01:19.000
And I don't really have people that I can actually call friends. Okay, so I'm like, Okay, I know I've been like concentrating in work and building a business and my children and so many things that happened in the past couple of years.

1954
02:01:20.000 --> 02:01:37.000
It's, it's very lonely when your birthday comes and you're like, I can't invite like, like, two or three girls or whatever to do so I don't have I've never been able to just recently I had had to break away from a relationship from a girl.

1955
02:01:38.000 --> 02:01:52.000
She was from church, and we just don't click, we tried I came back again and one of the things that happened was that exactly that same thing that when I'm having a, I had a conversation with her, and she was pointing out that you know that her son that she

1956
02:01:52.000 --> 02:02:05.000
had some thoughts of her son and something came on the radio was a Christian channel so well maybe the Lord is reflecting, and I said it in such a way in a voice that wasn't like I wasn't like, you know, preaching or anything I try to make sure not I'm not

1957
02:02:06.000 --> 02:02:18.000
preaching so I'm not hurting anybody's feelings so I said to her. I said well maybe the Lord, you know, based on what I learned from here I said maybe the Lord's trying to, you know, talk to you about something there so just kind of open up and what happened

1958
02:02:19.000 --> 02:02:26.000
in that moment so I'm like trying to, you know, I'm talking and I'm really because I'm genuine about really caring for people like talking to people.

1959
02:02:26.000 --> 02:02:44.000
And then, then it turned around and it just the whole thing just went upside down, and it turned around back to me. Oh, when you did this and when you did that and it just the whole thing just went back I think what happened was when I told her to.

1960
02:02:45.000 --> 02:02:58.000
And I said well you know what, maybe this that you're thinking about your son. Maybe God is just telling you maybe not to worry so much maybe just maybe take those thoughts captive and trust in the Lord, you know all that.

1961
02:02:58.000 --> 02:03:12.000
And so I started talking to her like that and then I said, I just, you know, there's something in my heart that I've been wanting to tell you and that's that I've noticed that when I have gone to your house a couple times you've been very like, you know, like, always

1962
02:03:12.000 --> 02:03:22.000
trying to make sure everything is perfect and so worried and I just don't see you really relaxing and. And so this is my tonality.

1963
02:03:23.000 --> 02:03:35.000
She just turned it around and then just made it about the reflection was no longer her, it was me but yet when she speaks into me about something I'm open to it.

1964
02:03:35.000 --> 02:03:40.000
And I have a question for you. I have a question for you.

1965
02:03:40.000 --> 02:04:01.000
For the people that this happens with. Would you say that they all tend to be a similar type of person. Oh my goodness, yes, 100%. Yeah, and that you're attracting friends that are not can like just like we would coach you all in the next phases.

1966
02:04:02.000 --> 02:04:19.000
I would encourage God to highlight people for you that have a spiritual DNA similar to you so that you pair well with them. I'm going to encourage you to start praying that regarding friendships, because I think what's happening, a couple things.

1967
02:04:19.000 --> 02:04:33.000
I would encourage people that are not in the same spiritual DNA doesn't mean that you're better than them. It just means like you're saying, I let them speak into my life but they're not willing to let me speak into their life.

1968
02:04:34.000 --> 02:04:49.000
Yeah, so a couple things too. And I don't know how long you were friends with this woman but this is something I wrote down as you were talking, ladies, sometimes we don't have enough equity in a relationship to say the things that we're saying.

1969
02:04:49.000 --> 02:05:00.000
Okay. And it doesn't mean that's the case here. I'm just saying in general, that we would be in prayer about okay does this like, does this relationship.

1970
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:06.960
have enough foundation. Is there enough trust equity between us for me to say the thing

1971
02:05:06.960 --> 02:05:12.160
that I feel like I I'm about to say here. Okay. Um, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't

1972
02:05:12.160 --> 02:05:17.480
have said that or asked her those things. It sounds like, you know, she went on the

1973
02:05:17.480 --> 02:05:22.960
defense right away. And that's why I asked you, you know, are these kind of similar people?

1974
02:05:22.960 --> 02:05:29.080
So I wanted you to start praying, you kinds of friends that God would lead you to friendships

1975
02:05:29.080 --> 02:05:34.480
that where you all can both give and take. Okay. And that you can receive well from each

1976
02:05:34.480 --> 02:05:41.680
other and that God would bless you with that. And then the other thing is, um, and again,

1977
02:05:41.680 --> 02:05:46.160
I don't think that you, I, it didn't sound like you said anything that was like massively

1978
02:05:46.160 --> 02:05:50.120
like, Oh, you shouldn't have said that. But I'm saying this for everyone's benefit. Cause

1979
02:05:50.120 --> 02:05:55.940
I've learned the hard way. So, you know, going through hard work, man, I wanted everybody

1980
02:05:55.940 --> 02:06:01.700
else to be healed too. And so without realizing it, I was like heartwarming everybody without

1981
02:06:01.700 --> 02:06:09.220
their permission. You all, not everybody wants to be heartworked. They don't. And so we have

1982
02:06:09.220 --> 02:06:16.860
to be really careful that, you know, we are getting someone's permission to speak into

1983
02:06:16.860 --> 02:06:24.660
their life. And just like, honestly, for me, I want someone to ask my permission too. I

1984
02:06:24.660 --> 02:06:28.740
don't want just someone like I, I told this story a couple of weeks ago, this woman said

1985
02:06:28.740 --> 02:06:33.940
something to me. She didn't mean harm by it, but she, she said, you're not living into

1986
02:06:33.940 --> 02:06:38.820
like the fullness of like, basically the calling God has for you. You missed your calling.

1987
02:06:38.820 --> 02:06:43.860
That's what she said to me. I think you've missed your calling. Whoa, back that up. I

1988
02:06:43.860 --> 02:06:48.660
didn't do that to her, but in my spirit, I'm like, absolutely not. That is not from the

1989
02:06:48.660 --> 02:06:54.820
Lord. I know why she was saying that I am called to preach too. I preach when I feel

1990
02:06:54.820 --> 02:06:59.540
like God is giving me the opportunity right now. If one day God calls me to preach all

1991
02:06:59.540 --> 02:07:04.260
the time, then I will, but I'm doing coaching and I love it. I know I'm anointed to do this

1992
02:07:04.260 --> 02:07:08.340
God's grace and his favors on me. And so I don't have to receive that from somebody,

1993
02:07:08.340 --> 02:07:17.780
but so often people will say things without even like asking, Hey, or like check in that

1994
02:07:17.780 --> 02:07:21.940
with the Lord. And again, not that that's what you were doing, but that we would always just

1995
02:07:21.940 --> 02:07:27.220
be kind of more cautious because the words that we speak are bringing life or death,

1996
02:07:27.220 --> 02:07:31.300
same thing from those other people. So in this situation that you're talking about,

1997
02:07:31.300 --> 02:07:36.420
it sounds like in friendships and male relationships, you're attracting people

1998
02:07:36.420 --> 02:07:44.740
that you're not equally yoked with. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. And I can make,

1999
02:07:44.740 --> 02:07:51.140
I can get deeper conversations at a hall, at a, at a, at, at Walmart with somebody like running,

2000
02:07:51.140 --> 02:07:57.220
buying shampoo, then people that I actually know for a while, because these people I've known for

2001
02:07:57.220 --> 02:08:02.260
three, four or five years, they're not just random people. I decided, Hey, you're not,

2002
02:08:02.260 --> 02:08:06.580
you know, but you know, it's like something, cause I, I just, I observed something. And I,

2003
02:08:06.580 --> 02:08:11.700
sometimes I talk to myself, I lowered, why did you give me that sensitivity? I'm trying to shut

2004
02:08:11.700 --> 02:08:16.100
up. I want to shut up. I want to shine the people with some people receive it well. And they say,

2005
02:08:16.820 --> 02:08:22.900
thank you. And some people are like, no, thank you. I don't think it's always. Okay. So here's

2006
02:08:22.900 --> 02:08:28.180
the thing. Yes. I think it would be really good for us to all. And I pray this a lot. God, give

2007
02:08:28.180 --> 02:08:33.140
me discernment to know when I should speak and when I shouldn't, but here's the other thing.

2008
02:08:33.140 --> 02:08:37.140
I just heard the Lord say jealousy here too. So I think what's going on is there's some

2009
02:08:37.140 --> 02:08:43.380
jealousy in that dynamic with that friend. And I would just encourage you to forgive her

2010
02:08:44.500 --> 02:08:50.900
come out of agreement with you said I've never been able to, but then you didn't finish the

2011
02:08:50.900 --> 02:08:56.660
sentence, but I think it's okay. And you don't have to, but I want to encourage you to come

2012
02:08:56.660 --> 02:09:02.580
out of agreement and alignment with the statement. I've never been able to whatever that.

2013
02:09:03.540 --> 02:09:08.180
The end of that statement is, um, long-term relationships with friends that are like,

2014
02:09:08.180 --> 02:09:16.100
well, no, um, friendships that I can. Yeah. Like real, real friendships. That's like real. Yeah.

2015
02:09:16.100 --> 02:09:22.420
That goes back and forth with that lie. Cause that's the enemy lying to you. And even though

2016
02:09:22.420 --> 02:09:26.660
it has been hard and you've encountered this more than once, it's no different in my mind.

2017
02:09:26.660 --> 02:09:30.740
I was married before I went through divorce that didn't go well. I dated another guy.

2018
02:09:31.300 --> 02:09:36.660
He was an addict and drank like, like closet alcoholic. You always so bad.

2019
02:09:37.300 --> 02:09:41.060
And then I dated the girl's dad, three guys in a row, bad, bad, bad.

2020
02:09:42.900 --> 02:09:48.660
Okay. But if I would have just partnered with, I'm never like, I was starting to believe my

2021
02:09:48.660 --> 02:09:52.580
picker was broken. I said that to a counselor. Cause she asked me, why do you feel like you

2022
02:09:52.580 --> 02:09:56.900
need to come in? I think my pickers broken. I started healing. I went there, did the work.

2023
02:09:56.900 --> 02:10:00.020
I came into hard work. I did other things. Here's why I'm saying.

2024
02:10:00.000 --> 02:10:04.800
this. If I agreed with it and partnered with, I'm never going to get this right.

2025
02:10:05.760 --> 02:10:11.840
I can't ever attract anybody good. I can't pick good people. Then, then I think I would have,

2026
02:10:12.400 --> 02:10:15.600
things would have turned out way differently. But when I started partnering with God,

2027
02:10:15.600 --> 02:10:21.120
thank you for healing me. God, thank you for growing me and helping me recognize when there's

2028
02:10:21.120 --> 02:10:28.880
red flags, even in friendship. I tended to attract people that operated in narcissistic

2029
02:10:28.880 --> 02:10:36.480
tendencies and sociopathic stuff, men and women. Do you know, literally God pruned three

2030
02:10:36.480 --> 02:10:41.280
friendships out of my life because they also operated in those similar things.

2031
02:10:42.160 --> 02:10:50.160
I'm a big giver. I tend to attract takers in the past. Now I'm learning that if they come my way,

2032
02:10:50.720 --> 02:10:57.440
I don't got to let them in here. I've learned how to have a gate when I need to have a gate

2033
02:10:58.160 --> 02:11:04.080
and to have a doorway when I need to have a doorway. So you all get to choose as well.

2034
02:11:04.080 --> 02:11:08.320
And so I want to encourage you, pray for those friendships, come out of agreement with that lie,

2035
02:11:08.320 --> 02:11:14.720
you know, forgive that, that woman for reacting instead of responding in love and just believe

2036
02:11:14.720 --> 02:11:18.880
that God has better for you in the days ahead. And I'm not trying to minimize it because that's hard.

2037
02:11:18.880 --> 02:11:22.240
It's hard when we go through stuff like that, but I do think that God's going to help you.

2038
02:11:23.040 --> 02:11:26.320
It sounds like you have a genuine heart to love and to help people.

2039
02:11:27.120 --> 02:11:32.640
And I think God's going to honor that. So just keep moving forward. Keep believing for something

2040
02:11:32.640 --> 02:11:37.360
to be different in the days ahead. I'm going to go ahead and pray us out ladies. We're at 10 11.

2041
02:11:37.360 --> 02:11:41.360
I got to close this out. This has been such a great night. I hope you all are continuing to

2042
02:11:41.360 --> 02:11:47.680
learn a lot. Remember to come in the group, share with us what, what God is saying to you and let

2043
02:11:47.680 --> 02:11:52.080
us communicate with you there as well. Father, thank you so much for all the healing that's

2044
02:11:52.080 --> 02:11:58.400
happening tonight. God, we thank you for all the ladies, the, the, um, connections divinely that

2045
02:11:58.400 --> 02:12:02.560
you're making in their hearts, their minds, their bodies, their spirits, their souls, that you would

2046
02:12:02.560 --> 02:12:06.880
help them to hear clearly what your spirit is saying, God, we just ask you to place the balm

2047
02:12:06.880 --> 02:12:14.080
of Gilead upon everyone and that you would just, um, yes, Lord, just comfort them and, and rub the

2048
02:12:14.080 --> 02:12:20.720
salve of your healing waters and your healing anointing upon them. God, that you would transform

2049
02:12:20.720 --> 02:12:25.760
them by the renewing of their minds, that all old things have passed away and behold, everything

2050
02:12:25.760 --> 02:12:30.560
is becoming new in you. God, we thank you that you are doing a new thing in our lives, that you would

2051
02:12:30.560 --> 02:12:35.920
ask us, can we perceive it? God, you're bringing the streams in the, in the desert places and the

2052
02:12:35.920 --> 02:12:40.080
rivers and where there's been a wasteland, God, that there's nothing dead when you're around. So

2053
02:12:40.080 --> 02:12:45.840
Lord help us to receive your love and to walk in that more every single day. And we just thank you

2054
02:12:45.920 --> 02:12:50.640
and praise you for all the wins that we've already experienced. Help us to celebrate our wins

2055
02:12:50.640 --> 02:12:56.880
and to receive all the good that you have for us in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. God bless you

2056
02:12:56.880 --> 02:13:01.920
all. I'll see you all in the group. Have a good night, everyone. Bye-bye.