Hello, welcome. Hello, hello. Welcome back for another amazing Monday evening. A couple
people still joining in. Welcome. If you are new and you're joining us for the first time,
this is your first live session. If you can put that in the chat for us so we can welcome
you, we would love to know who you are and that you're joining us. For those of you that
are joining us again, this is maybe your second, third, fourth, who knows, but you're here
and we're so glad that you're joining us again today. I believe that God has some amazing
things for us to lean into tonight from heaven. Welcome. Hello, ladies. I'm watching the chat
just to see if anyone new is joining us. Is anyone here for your first time, your first
live session ever tonight? All right. I think I recognize pretty much all your names, but
I just wanted to double check. All right. I have just a couple of housekeeping things
for us tonight. Then I'm going to pass it over to our lovely Annette. If you all have
never met Annette, Annette, can you wave? Annette is one of our peer coaches in the
HeartWork Group. You all have seen her maybe from time to time responding to you. I'm so
glad to have her joining with us tonight. She's going to share a little bit here and
there throughout the evening so you all can start to get to know her better. Praise God
she's here joining us and God has good things in store. All right. The housekeeping I have
for you is for some of you, you may have coaching in your background. You might have counseling
in your background. You might have ministry experience in your background. No matter where
you've come from, some of you just are really amazing helpers. I want to encourage you to
take all your helper hats off in this community, especially in HeartWork. Here's why. Myself
and the other coaches, we are trained to do this and you all are here to just practice
receiving. Nobody did anything wrong, but this is just one of those housekeeping things
I bring up from time to time to remind you that your main role here is to receive. Whatever
God has for you, that you don't have to quickly give that away to someone else. The other
reason is this. A lot of times people that are big givers or big helpers, they tend to
get very distracted from their own healing because they're very busy taking care of other
people. And so if that is something that you struggle with, you're very good at taking
care of other people all the time. That might be a distraction the enemy will use for you
because everybody and your brother, you know how they say that, will have a problem and
they're going to need your help and they're going to dial you up and be like, hey, I need
you, right? You're going to have to set some boundaries while you're here in the heartwork
and probably beyond. For some of you, that's now a habit that you just, it's a go-to for
you. It's kind of like a fix. And we want you to come away from that and really find
out who are you if that's not a part of your identity. Okay. It doesn't mean we can't be
helpers anymore, but when that gets overextended and out of balance, it takes us into
places that are not safe or healthy for us. And again, we often put off our own needs.
You know, the airplane you get on, they instruct you, you put your air mat, your mask
on yourself, the oxygen mask before you put it on your kids. That seems kind of crazy
as a parent, you know, cause you're thinking about your kid first. But the reality is,
is if we don't put the mask on ourselves, guess what? We're going to not be able to,
um, help the other people that are with us. Okay. In our lives. So I want to encourage
you to go ahead and take those helper fixer hats off and just get in a heart posture to
receive. Okay. I'm going to pass it over to Annette. Annette has a couple housekeeping
as well. And then she's going to pray us in before we start tonight.
Hello, everyone. It's so good to be here with you tonight. Um, I'm actually up in
Canada. Hope my, I'm praying that my internet connection stays stable the whole time.
But one way like Bethany talked about to soak things in is to come to Supernatural
Saturday on Saturdays, this last Saturday morning, Jackie, um, talked about grieving
with hope each week she shows up and she shows up with something that will bless you. So
if you have an opportunity to be a part of that, then please join us. Uh, for me, it's
7am go accordingly for the time zone that you're in. Uh, it's a great way to start the
day. And secondly, um, as Bethany also said, we jump in the app. Uh, we invite you all
to jump in there. It takes courage, but when you are able to share what's on your heart
and what you're struggling with, then that is a really good way to connect with your
sisters and they can also be blessed and learn and grow through what you share.
with them and it also gives us an opportunity
to connect with you and to coach a little bit
around questions that you have or things that you've shared
just to help you go just a little bit deeper.
So those are two things in a way that you can connect
with us this week and we love to connect with all of you.
Hey, awesome, do you wanna pray a sin?
Absolutely.
Awesome.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the opportunity
to be together tonight as sisters in Christ
and your word says that where two or more are gathered
in your name, you are there.
And we thank you that you're here among us.
We invite you in Holy Spirit into each and every life,
into each and every woman that's represented on this call
and for those that are gonna watch and replay.
God, we thank you in advance for the work
that you're gonna do in each heart
and in each life and the transformation
as they continue to seek you
and grow in their wisdom and understanding
and allow through full surrender,
you to transform their heart,
which is gonna transform their lives Lord
and bring them into their most authentic self
as they come into agreement with the truth
of who you say they are and that allows each of us
to fulfill the plans and the purposes
that you have here for us.
Bless Bethany today as she speaks,
give her the words that you want her to speak out
and speak through her to us
and bless her today on her birthday.
In your name I pray, amen.
Amen, amen, amen.
Praise the Lord, God is so good you all.
Tonight, we're gonna be tracking through identity and vows,
in particular inner vows that we tend to make
because of trauma and as we start identity,
I want you all,
I'm gonna go ahead and activate you really quickly.
I want you to be thinking about,
thank you everyone for the birthday wishes.
I want you to be thinking about your life,
yourself and how you show up in the world
and in this regard, when something negative happens,
when pressure is applied, what typically comes out
and I'm gonna give you a statement
and I want you to fill in the blank
and go ahead and put that in the chat for me
as soon as it comes to you.
So if you are filling in the blank
during a difficult time in your life,
again, when the pressure is applied,
it's a negative experience, you're going to,
we all tend to have our go-to internal mental statements
that we partner with.
This is the sentence, I am blank
and I don't want this to be filtered.
I don't want it to be, oh, I know I have to think positive.
I wanna just know the raw answer
when you are going through something hard,
when something happens and if you have something positive,
that's totally fine, okay?
But I want you just to put in anything that comes to mind.
Okay, I am angry, I am hope-filled, I am not enough,
I am alone, I'm too much, I'm afraid,
overwhelmed, get angry, nothing.
Yeah, totally can feel numb, that's what that is.
When we feel nothing, I am nothing,
there's numbness and hopelessness connected there.
I complain, not worth it, I'm frustrated and overwhelmed.
Have some more overwhelmed, numb,
there are always, things are always
gonna fall apart for me, okay?
I'm not worth it.
All right, if you continue to have things
come up in your spirit, go ahead
and put those in the chat for me.
How can I be so stupid?
You know, stupid came up a lot this afternoon as well.
People really feeling led to say that they're stupid
or dumb or anything like that.
Ladies, isn't it amazing what the enemy
gets us to partner with when things are hard?
I want you to be thinking about that
as we start talking about identity tonight.
If you remember, last week I talked to you
about Adam and Eve and when they were in the garden
and after Adam had eaten of the fruit
and they realized they were naked and then they hid,
God comes looking for them and he's looking for them
in the garden and he says to Adam,
you know why, like, why did you hide basically?
Who told you that you were naked?
And so tonight we're gonna build on that
and I want you to be thinking again
about who originally said things to you
that lead you to these statements
that you put in the chat tonight.
What are the things that you've gone through?
What are the traumas that you've experienced
that lead you to believe you can't trust anyone anymore?
You're so dumb, you're so stupid,
you're hopeless, you're worthless, you're not enough.
Wherever these originated, sometimes it's because of trauma
like I said, we partner with lies when that trauma happens
but sometimes it's because someone has spoken
something negative over us and we've partnered with it.
Did you know that I am statements are?
actually identity forming statements.
Like when we partner with those,
we are saying, this is who I am.
And I wanna encourage you tonight
to allow the Lord to invite you out of the places and spaces
where these statements that you put in the chat
that are not positive,
to come out of the places where those are existing
as your main source, as your main go-to,
and come into alignment with the truth of heaven.
What is heaven saying over you tonight?
Remember last week, one of the activations,
for those of you that were able to get those done,
way to go.
For those of you still working on yours,
I can't wait to see them in the group
when you're done with them.
But last week I asked you to ask the Lord,
Lord, who do you say that I am?
Lord, what do you wanna say about me?
And that you would record those
and capture what the Lord was saying to you.
That is giving you literally what your new go-to should be.
Do y'all understand?
That's why we did that last week,
because I was preparing you so that this week,
as you come out of alignment with the I am statements
that are not healthy, that are not truth,
you can now have something to stand on that is truth.
The truth of who God says you are
is who we should be defined by, what we should stand on.
And y'all, I have bad days too.
So I want you to understand,
we're all gonna face the struggle of our thoughts,
the limiting belief systems that we've been raised up under,
orphan mentalities, even some of our parents.
Do you know that poverty mindset
isn't about whether or not you have money?
It's about a posture in your heart.
There are some people that have a lot of money,
but they still live in a poverty mentality.
Always lack, there's never enough.
Always scraping by internally in their heart
in some way, shape, or form,
or stingy and they can't spend,
they can't spend because of fear at the core.
So who originally told you that you were naked
or that you were not enough, that you were a failure?
Where did that dialogue come from for you?
Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?
I want you to be thinking about these things.
A lot of times, just like in the garden,
Adam and Eve ate of the fruit,
and then they saw and realized that they were naked.
I want you to think about the traumas
that you've been through
and the things that you've experienced
or witnessed that are now causing you
to believe something false about yourself.
And this could even be something currently
that someone said to you that was hurtful and harmful.
Here's an example of the witnessing it, okay?
We can go through things that impact us
without it directly being something
that we ourselves went through.
When I was in the fourth grade, about eight years old,
my mom, my oldest brother, and my sister
were hit by a drunk driver,
and it was a very traumatic event.
It was a very difficult season.
I was at a friend's house playing,
and the night that the thing happened,
I didn't know anything was going on.
I'm just there having a good time
with my friends at her birthday party.
My mom calls, asks to talk to my friend's mom.
I still didn't think anything about it.
The next day, my mom came early to pick me up,
and I remember being so mad, like, why is my mom here?
She's not supposed to be here now.
And then I started realizing my uncles were with her
and my aunts were with her,
and I was kind of like, why is everyone here?
It was very like, what's happening right now?
This whole confusion state.
And then my mom comes inside and we sit in there.
I remember just like it was yesterday,
this like perfect little sitting room.
They had plastic, you know,
back in the days they would put plastic
over their furniture.
We sat in that room and my mom told me what happened.
My brother was in a coma for months.
Like, he was known as one of the best wrestlers
back then in the area.
Literally was in a coma so long
that when he came out of it, praise the Lord,
he came out of it, but he had to go through rehab
in a town that was about two hours away.
So my mom, who was a single mom,
who didn't have a lot of help,
now had to go two hours away on a regular basis
to stay there with my brother and to care for him
and go back and forth and back and forth.
My sister that was also in that accident
had to have brain surgery.
It was very serious stuff.
She ended up years later having seizures
because of the effects of the brain injury.
Y'all, these are all things that happened
to my family members.
It didn't affect me directly,
but you better believe as a fourth grader, eight-year-old,
that impacted me because all of a sudden my single,
my mom, who's a single mom and already barely home
because she's working multiple jobs, is gone more.
So my little eight year old self interpreted it as I'm abandoned.
I'm neglected.
I didn't know that's what it was back then, but as I've gotten older, that's that timeframe
was a very difficult time for me.
And I didn't understand why I was always getting put on the back burner, even though I understood.
I didn't understand.
Do y'all hear what I'm saying?
Sometimes we carry these things with us and we are still living today as an adult through
that eight year old lens.
So my question for you tonight is have any of you all witnessed or experienced something
that was traumatic that has impacted you and you might potentially still be showing up
in the world through that lens from when that happened in your life.
And if you've done a lot of work around those things, that's amazing.
But I know it's important that if, even if it comes up, even if you've already dealt
with it before, if it comes up while you're in the heart work, you all remember, I, I'm
just asking you, you don't have to go all the way back through all that, but I'm asking
you to take another peek, another look at that situation with the Lord.
Because typically if it's coming up while you're here, God is trying to show you something
about it, a new layer of healing, a new revealing for healing so that you can be set free in
a greater capacity.
You can receive more healing, more revelation, more insight.
All right.
Then also, what did people say about you and to you?
Who does the enemy say that you are?
What is the dialogue?
Again, the enemy uses people to speak to us in negative ways too, but sometimes he's
talking to us directly.
Does anyone ever feel like, man, you wake up and some days it's just like bombarded
in your mind and it's just so heavy.
It's one thought after another, after another.
And it feels like you can't even come up for air.
But yeah, that is the assault of the enemy against your mind.
It's a real thing.
And then who does God say you are?
Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?
That's what I'm talking about right now.
Is it from these traumas?
Is it from the things that you even directly experienced?
Is it from what somebody else said about you?
Is it from what the enemy is saying about you or what God says about you?
All right.
I'm going to activate you again.
I want you to, again, don't hold back.
If you have something positive, cool.
If you have something that's not positive, you just put it in here, whatever comes to
you right away.
All right.
Here's the question.
What are two to three words that come to mind right now about who you are?
Two to three words right now, quickly, that come to mind about who you are.
Pamela says, I'm an overcomer, right?
That's awesome.
Brandy says, good child of God, strong, overcomes, royal daughter, Karen, always growing, beautiful,
smart, overwhelmed, lost, empty, people pleaser, conquering, loved, cherished, valued, failure,
a daughter of God, healing, growing, overwhelmed.
These are all coming into the chat.
For those that are watching the replay, these are things ladies are putting in here.
I'm a woman of God, a great daughter, and comical extrovert.
I love that.
Forgotten, just not meant for relationships.
All right, Sam W., thanks for being real and honest on that.
Fun, loving, caring, achiever, believer.
Sorry, they're going a little fast now.
Growing, nurturing, amazing mom.
I'm tired of being single.
All right.
Unsure, go-getter.
We got more coming in.
All right, ladies, go ahead and keep adding those as they come to you.
The reason I wanted you to be thinking about who are you, like knowing who you are quickly
and being able to partner with things.
Well, if it's something that's not healthy and if it's something that's not positive,
man, it's not good for us to partner with that, right?
And so tonight I want you to be thinking about your root system.
Just like a tree, a tree has to have roots that go hopefully down deep so it's really
good foundation and when the wind blows and the storm comes, that tree doesn't hopefully
get knocked over super easily.
But what does your root system look like?
What's your soil look like?
Where you're planted?
What are you getting your nutrients from?
Are they healthy nutrients or are they things that are harming you?
Just like what we put in our bodies, like when we eat things that aren't good, sometimes
we don't feel so good, right?
Well, think about it from that perspective.
What if someone said something to you and about you and you started partnering with
it so long that it grew this root deep down in that is negative?
It's unhealthy.
And that's what's informing your fruit.
So when people experience you in this world, how do they experience you?
What is the fruit that they see in your life and from your life and the things that
You're saying, do you know that out of the overflow of the mouth heart,
the mouth speaks. So whatever we're speaking, it's coming from in here,
whatever we're thinking it's coming from in here. It's, and I want to say,
ladies, sometimes the reason I had to start tonight,
the times we notice it the most is when the pressures apply.
I don't know about anybody else, but I think positive things most of the time.
And then some days I feel like I'm getting squished like a big old,
like a grilled cheese, you know,
where they take the press and they just squeeze the thing down. Yeah.
The, the olive press, anybody else relate to that pressure feeling?
Well, guess what? Sometimes when that happens,
I'm not so proud of what comes out. Even if I don't speak it out of my mouth,
ladies, sometimes things in my mind that I recognize that I'm partnering with,
it doesn't sound so good. It doesn't look so good.
And it doesn't partner with heaven. And so daily,
I want to encourage you all to be thinking about your root system. You know,
where are you getting those nutrients? What's in your soil.
And remember that everything that goes into our hearts is going to get
reproduced. So if we're,
we're meditating on lies like I'm not good enough, I'm a failure.
I'm stupid. Guess what?
That is going to show up in your everyday life,
whether you want it to or not, when you encounter people, including men,
and men that are healthy can smell unhealthy from a mile away.
They can smell insecurity from a mile away. So let's,
let's deal with the stuff in our hearts so that we can move forward into healthy
whole relationships to people that are whole
coming together is what makes a whole person. Okay.
But if you got two broken people, guess what?
Or one's hole.
And the other is just still really broken and they come together and makes it
really hard to move forward in a healthy way.
Have you all ever seen a three legged race where the people, you know,
tie their one leg together. And so a couple or team,
instead of having four legs, they T they technically now have three legs.
Well,
if one of those people sits down or kneels or whatever,
it's going to make it really hard for that other person to walk because they're
going to have to drag them the whole way.
If they can even move.
So wouldn't you rather be partnered with someone that's healthy and
whole, and wouldn't you want to be healthy and whole before you meet them?
I hope so. So tonight, part of that is, is,
I want to encourage you to come again,
out of alignment with these negative thought processes and the things that were
said over you that you are partnering with that are not serving you well.
Luke 6 45 in the NLT version says a good person produces good things from the
treasury of a good heart.
And an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an
evil heart. What you say flows from what's in your heart.
So that's just another version, another way to say what I was saying earlier,
out of the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks.
And if we've got unhealthy fruit in there and roots, I'm sorry,
unhealthy roots in there and brokenness and fragmentation,
while the fruit is going to be broken and not so lovely for
people to eat off of and, you know, grow from,
are your roots giving you life or are they causing you to, to decay?
So how can you tell what's in your roots?
While you look at the fruit in your life.
So I'm going to read a little excerpt from the heart work book to you.
This is what it says.
Fruits are the emotional or physical manifestations and
the subsequent actions you have been taking as a result of what
you believe in your heart.
Fruits are the emotional or physical manifestations in the subsequent
actions you have been taking as a result of what you believe in your
heart. Fruits may include sickness, self-pity,
a victim mentality, despair, not sadness, suicidal tendencies,
disgust judgment, just a side note.
If you have a problem with judging others or even ladies being really critical
of other people that falls in that category as well,
it's because you have a fragmented heart.
A judgmental heart is a hurting heart. Some more fruits are obesity,
perversion, addiction, sexual dysfunction, hopelessness,
hatred, and self-hatred. Just so you know,
all forms of hatred begin with self hatred.
You cannot hate someone else without hating yourself.
Remember the scripture love your neighbor as you love yourself. Well,
if you don't like yourself,
you're going to walk around not liking other people a lot too.
Here's some more.
unhealthy fruit, abrasiveness, short temper, irritability, jealousy, envy, competitiveness,
comparing, gossiping, backstabbing, being unhappy, ungratefulness, selfishness,
having a poverty mentality. If you are habitually negative, that's also a not good fruit, ladies.
Unfaithful, have any form of dis, so including disease, disconnection, discontent,
and disappointment, you are suffering from a broken heart. Okay, so I want to encourage you
to be asking the Lord, what, what unhealthy fruit do you have in your life right now?
Could be any of those from the list. Which ones resonate for you? I want you to write those down.
I'm going to pass this over to Annette. I would love for you to share Annette on,
just when you were going through the heart work or even, it could be something even recently,
where God revealed to you unhealthy roots and that he wanted you to seek him for deeper
healing and growth. What did that look like and sound like for you? And I have to pick just one.
There's a few things that come to mind. I would say one of the biggest ones was comparison
and comparing myself to other people. And if I felt like I measured up great, but so often
because of being self-critical, I didn't measure up. It wasn't good enough. I didn't work hard
enough. I was rejected because I, you know, I wasn't this person or I wasn't that person,
or I wasn't thin enough, or, you know, looked a certain way or acted or talked a certain way,
was in a certain, you know, income bracket or intelligence and education, so many things
that I really fell into comparing myself with other people. And God really showed me
a lot about stepping into my true identity of who he made me to be and speaking truth over my life
of how he created me and really having a heart of gratitude for and focusing on the unique things
that make me who I am and the plans and purposes that he has for me in the earth that are specific
to me. Nobody else can do them. He designed them for me to do because he needs me. And so he needs
me to be myself, not look at everybody else and stop and don't move forward because out of fear
that I don't think I'm going to be good enough or I'm not going to measure up. Go forward into who
God's called me to be. Step into the things that he has for me because we're all a gift. Each one
of us are a gift and we're here for a specific time, a specific purpose, and for plans. And
to live the most abundant life that God has for us, we need to surrender to that and partner,
get rid of the lies and walk in the truth of who he says we are, not anybody else.
I love that. Yes, Lord, help us to know who you say we are and to walk in that and partner with
that daily. And again, just being honest with ourselves, I will tell you when I got the most
breakthrough in my healing journey, and even still today, it's when I'm very brutally honest
with myself and not beating myself up, but just being really like all the walls coming down.
I'm getting ready to get you all set up for the breakout sessions. The way we're going to do it
tonight, it's going to be a little tiny different. I'm going to put you in your breakout questions.
I'll give you, excuse me, your breakout session. I'm going to give you the question here in a
minute. When you come back, normally we do group coaching right away. The way we're going to do
it tonight is I have another section of content that I'm going to go right into when you come back,
and then I'll give you all your activation for the night, and then I'm going to open it up for
group coaching. You're still going to go into breakout, and this is going to be your question.
What is currently an unhealthy or negative root in your life that's producing unhealthy fruit
that you need to allow God to come in and heal? What is currently an unhealthy
root that's producing unhealthy fruit in your life right now that you need to allow God to come
in and heal? I'm going to hit the open rooms that's going to pop up on your screen for you.
If you're new, you're going to want to click on that as soon as you can, ladies. Here you go.
Go ahead and click to join those. Hi, Erica. I see that you just joined. I'll get you in a room here
in just a minute. It won't let me do it while they're popping in. No, you're okay. I'm sorry.
You're fine.
All right.
Let's see, I just don't wanna put you,
okay, I can put you in that room, that's cool.
All right, there, that should be there for you.
Go ahead and click to join that.
All right, anyone else not going into a room tonight,
you're at work or something, put that in the chat for me
just so I can see it.
I'm gonna move some people around here.
Father, we just thank you so much for all that you're doing.
Sorry, I see someone's by themselves.
Put her down there.
All right, Father, thank you so much
for what you're doing, God, already in this place tonight.
God, we thank you for revealings, for healing happening,
that you would continue to take things out of darkness
into the light and help us to understand
and hear what your spirit is saying
louder than any voice of the enemy.
And we just thank you that you would just help us
to experience your truth, your life, your joy.
We thank you, God, that you are redeeming us,
that you're transforming us,
that you're helping us to hear revelation
from heaven over us.
We thank you, God, and we partner with, yes, Lord,
that you prepare a table for us
in the presence of our enemies,
that even when the enemy comes,
that you send Jesus to give us life
and give it to us more abundantly.
And you invite us to come into that place with you.
And I thank you, God, that we can partner with you
to receive the truth,
to declare your promises over our lives.
We thank you that even as Psalm 1-3 says
in the Passion Translation,
he will be standing from like a flourishing tree
planted by God's design,
deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,
bearing fruit in every season.
And we thank you that you are the one
bearing fruit in every season of his life.
He's never dry, never fainting,
ever blessed, ever prosperous.
Lord, help us to partner with the truth
that we're always gonna bear fruit in every season
and that we're not gonna be dry.
You know, to me, that's almost like the dead end,
the hopelessness, the feeling of not enough,
the feeling of being worthless.
Like those remind me of feeling dead and dry and lifeless.
And I wanna encourage you to partner with the truth
that we're gonna be ever blessed, ever prosperous,
and that we would just know and see in the spirit realm
what is abundance,
what is the mindset that we need to partner with
that will help us to come out of alignment
with the things of the past
and partner with the truth of where God wants to take us.
I think this is good too.
Ecclesiastes 7-9 says this,
control your temper for anger labels you a fool.
Lord, I thank you that you would help us
to allow you to come in and heal every wound in our heart
that leads us to act out on things like anger.
And we know that anger is hurt's bodyguard.
So Lord, we ask you to help us to lean into you for healing
in the deep places of our heart,
where we're hurting, where we're wounded,
where we're frustrated, where we're sad.
Lord, so many things live in those dark places
and we just thank you.
Yes, Lord, that you are the light of the world,
that nothing is too hard for you
and everything that we have need of God,
that you're working even when we can't see it,
you're working.
We thank you that right now,
we ask you and invite you, Holy Spirit,
to come into every dark area in our minds,
our bodies, our spirits, our souls,
and that you would just illuminate it with your glory,
with your presence, with your love.
You're the great counselor.
You're our guide, our keeper.
And you help us in every moment.
Yes, Lord, we never walk alone.
There's a song by Elevation.
I think it's by Elevation Rhythm
and they talk about never walk alone.
I love that song.
It's such a great reminder
that there's nothing that we go through
that we have to go through alone
because God never leaves us.
He never forsakes us.
He's always walking with us,
but it's us remembering that we never walk alone
and partnering with that truth.
So Lord, I just thank you that you would remind us tonight.
Yes, Lord, that your hand is always extended to us
and it's up to us to take your hand, Father.
I thank you that you're a good father,
that you would give us a fresh revelation
of your absolute love for us,
that it's unconditional,
that nothing can separate us from your love,
not height, nor depth, nor principalities, nor powers,
nor the things in the present, nor the things to come.
Yes, Lord, even in the future,
no matter if hardship comes,
that we can remain in your love, God,
that you would just envelop us with your wings
and hide us under the shadow of the Almighty.
That is you, God, that you would help us to remember
that we can trust you, that we wouldn't...
I don't know if y'all have ever played cards,
but there's a statement called reneging.
God, I thank you for that.
He doesn't renege, he doesn't put his cards down
and pull them back, he just shows us the cards
and it's up to us to partner with the truth
and to not allow the enemy to lie to us,
to kill, steal and destroy.
Jeremiah 24, seven says,
I will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord.
They will be my people and I will be their God
for they will return to me wholeheartedly.
God, thank you for giving us hearts tonight
that recognize you as our Lord.
As our savior, as our ever-present help in times of trouble.
God, that you're with us on the mountaintops,
you're with us in the valley, Loa.
Thank you, God, that we can be filled
with the joy of your presence
and that we can hear what your spirit
is saying over us this night.
First John 3, 20 says,
whenever our hearts make us feel guilty
and remind us of our failures,
we know that God is much greater
and more merciful than our conscience.
And he knows everything there is to know about us.
God, I thank you that you created us in our mother's womb
and you were so happy and excited.
You knew everything about us.
You knew every aspect, every twinkle in our eyes,
every hair on our head is counted.
Yes, Lord, just like you take care of the sparrows,
you're taking care of us.
No matter what the enemy's saying,
no matter what we're going through, God,
that you are providing for us.
Yes, Lord.
Luke 12, two says,
everything hidden and covered up will soon be exposed
for the fast aid is falling down
and nothing will be kept secret for long.
We thank you, God, that you would, again,
just bring things out of the secret places
into the light and your perfect timing.
God, that we can even trust you
in the moment of revealings for healing.
And when we feel overwhelmed,
that we can partner with God, we can rely on you.
We can trust you that you're gonna see us through.
I just heard the Lord say,
he's gonna take us to the end of the line, ladies.
All the way, he's in, he's all in.
He's not changing his mind about us.
Even when we make mistakes, he's not gonna change his mind.
He's not gonna just jump away from the promise
and be like, oh, see you later.
You're in this on your own now.
Like some people in the world have done to us.
God is saying, I'm all in.
I'm not gonna leave you.
I'm not gonna run out.
I'm not gonna be like the people, you know,
that you've experienced in the world.
I love you.
And I sent my son to die for you.
And Jesus chose to go to the cross for us.
Why would we think for one moment
that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit
wouldn't do anything that it took
to bring fulfillment to the promise?
Jesus went to the cross
and fulfilled the most important promise.
So how could we believe that he's not a promise keeper now?
So, Father, help us, help us and forgive us
for the times that we doubt you,
that we believe the lie that you won't come through for us.
God, that you're gonna bless everybody else and not us,
that you take your love or remove
or pull your love back from us, because that isn't truth.
So help us to forgive ourselves for believing the lies
and come into partnership and agreement
with the truth tonight.
In Jesus' name.
Welcome back.
I'm gonna go ahead and start to go into our interview.
I'm gonna go into our inner vows area.
Ladies, if you've never heard this before,
maybe some of you are familiar with inner vows,
but I want you just to remain open
because I wanna kind of unpack this
a little bit more for you tonight.
What is an inner vow?
An inner vow is a determination set in our mind
and heart to protect us from pain.
I'm gonna read that again.
A determination set in our mind and heart
to protect us from pain.
So I want you to be thinking even on your own,
like asking the Lord where you're at,
to reveal to you inner vows
that you have made over the years,
whether intentionally or subconsciously,
because of things that you were going through,
pain that you were experiencing.
And so you were making these promises,
these determinations within yourself
to guard yourself from feeling that pain ever again.
This is one of our self-protection mechanisms as well,
ladies, where we put walls up.
And I'm gonna go into what some of these vows are,
and yours might sound different,
but I feel like as I say these tonight,
you're gonna hear some of your own language over the years
and things that you've partnered with.
So in just a moment, I will touch on those here.
Romans 12, two says this,
do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test what God's will is,
his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
So as Jackie.
about in the videos. Yes, it is just, it is a renewing of our minds. But remember, our minds
and our heart are connected. If you're having a lot of trouble with your mind, thinking positive
things and being able to stand on God's truth, guess what? That's a signal. You've got a heart
issue going on there. Do you experience a lot of panic all the time? You're always worried.
You always, you know, I don't know if you all have ever done this. Anyone ever bumped into a
wall and said, I'm sorry to the wall. Yep. I did. I did. I did that. I see a couple of the other
ones. Why do we do that? Why do we do that? We're conditioned to apologize for things that actually
are not like even things we need to apologize for. And some things are way bigger than when
we bump into a wall, right? Sometimes we're saying, I'm sorry, when we're taking responsibility for
things that other people did or said. Yeah. So Lord, help us to understand that we don't have
to walk around always apologizing. Some of you all, I just heard the word say, some of you
actually feel like you have to apologize for your existence. What do I mean by that? Well,
when you were a kid, you were told that you were a bother. We had someone in the afternoon session
that her mom, and y'all, when I tell this story, don't judge your mom. Okay.
Broken people do things that hurt people. Okay. Um, but called her a rotten child, pulling her
by her hair. You know, these are, these are not true things. Y'all here's the reality. Even at,
as children, if we struggle, God created us inherently. Yes. The sin we automatically,
as we have a flesh that we're born into. And so that's where we,
we act out in our flesh, even as young children, but everything that God is, he put it in us.
And we learn how to walk in unhealthy ways because of trauma, because of lies, because of inherited
trauma from our parents. Remember, we've talked about that a little bit before.
We haven't touched on it for a while, but some of the things, the vows might not even be your
vows. They might've been vows your parents made that got passed down to you in the spirit realm,
because they never healed. Now we don't have to get mad at them. That's not why I say this,
but guess what? God has brought you here in this moment at this time for such a time as this.
Why? So that you can be healed and transformed and that you can be a kinsman redeemer
in your family line, and that you can create blessings generationally for generations to come.
What is the soil in your heart? Remember, we were talking about that earlier. What does that look
like? What is it? You know, is it a place where like literally flowers would be planted
and they would grow or not so much? Is it dry, like a desert land?
Because there's so much bitterness in there. You're constantly struggling with negativity and,
and there's just like poison coming out. And even y'all, yes, the most bubbly,
can still have bitterness deep down inside. So Lord, we need you to show us what we can't see.
All right. So I'm going to read another little excerpt from, from the book for you. And this is
about, you know, we're talking about these inner vows. This is what it says, but even though you
won't be able to replace the actual events that happened in your life, you can replace the lies
you believed. And most importantly, the vows you made as a result of your inner vows,
the vows you made as a result of the lies you believed. Okay. When we experience these hurts
in life, they make us sad. And when we are sad, that's when anger shows up. Remember anger is
hurts like bodyguard. It's anger is always the defender. So if you're feeling angry, guess what?
You're actually feeling something else underneath of that. But anger is here to defend and protect
you from any kind of pain. My pages are different. That's why I never share the pages ladies,
because I have a physical book and you're most of you have the ebook, but it is in chapter eight.
So I can tell you that part and you can just look for it there. So as we go on, if you are,
you know, again, feeling these anger, it's protecting the most vulnerable parts of your
heart. That's what's happening. When anger is around, we feel strong and we start to make
inner vows. Nobody's ever going to hurt me again. I don't care about anybody. I can't trust anybody.
I will never turn out like my mother or father. I won't be made a fool anymore. Nobody is going to
tell me what to do. I can't tell anybody about this. I will be perfect from now on so that nobody
can ever reject me. We make a decision to harden our hearts and it makes sense in the moment.
We think if we make these vows and build these walls around our hearts, we can keep
all of the bad things out. But.
They aren't good at letting things in.
And to stop surviving and to start thriving, ladies,
we're going to have to be able to let a lot of things in.
I'm gonna give you a couple other vows.
Those were some of the vows we tend to make.
These are a couple others I wrote down.
I will never be able to make anyone happy.
I will never date or marry a Larry or a John
or a Brian in my case.
Y'all, I married a Brian,
but here's why I didn't want to marry a Brian.
My oldest brother, who was the most significant offender
in the sexual abuse in the home, his name is Brian.
So guess what?
When I'm dating people and God sends Brian my way
and I really like him,
I literally had a conversation with God,
like, really Lord?
Like, he's really amazing.
Like, couldn't you have just given it,
like, had a different name?
Like, couldn't you have been, you know, somebody else?
And you know what?
God started ministering to me
and he started talking to me about the reality
that he wanted me to step further into healing
and to trust him to redeem the name Brian for me.
And I think that's the thing, ladies.
Some of you, I know people have hurt you
and you've partnered with,
I will never date or marry somebody with this name
or with this ethnicity or with this kind of job.
Some of y'all grew up in ministry,
your parents were pastors or ministry leaders
and it didn't go so well.
And so some of you are like,
yeah, I'm never marrying somebody in the ministry.
I'm never doing that.
Yes, I see you, Jacobed.
Some of y'all can relate to that, right?
But I want you to continue to surrender the pen
God knows what he's doing.
He knows what you need.
He knows exactly who you need
to draw the best things out of you,
your supernatural spiritual DNA.
And yes, for some of you,
does that mean he's gonna send you that person 100%
like that happened in my life?
I can't say that it's going to happen that way
for all of you, but I'm saying for some of you,
here's the reality.
When I first came across Brian in the app,
I passed him by.
Not for very long.
He circled right back around the next day, praise the Lord.
But y'all, I almost passed him by
for various different reasons.
One being his name.
But God kept highlighting him to me.
He had this really kind face
and I love the way his profile,
like the things that he said, I'm like,
I think this guy's the real deal.
So I sent it to my best friend like,
hey, what do you think?
Should I swipe yes or right?
I don't even remember which one I was in.
Well, I mean, I know what app,
but I don't remember how you had to do it.
I think I had to click yes to accept it or something.
And she said, yes, you should go for it.
And part of it is that Brian wasn't someone
I typically would have dated either.
Like his attributes and his looks were different
than someone I would have picked in the past.
Y'all, I'm telling you that as I spent time with him,
especially even that first night,
I mean, he looked handsome.
He was dressed up nice, but not super trendy.
And so I'm kind of like,
I don't know if I'm attracted.
But you all, man, that first night we sat and talked
and I saw his heart and I heard his love for people
and just genuinely how generous he was.
He was a big giver.
He wasn't being fake.
It was a whole thing.
But the more time I spent with him,
that night went really well.
We agreed we were gonna get together again.
The second time I still was like, I don't know.
Like, we think we have to have it figured out
right in the beginning.
We don't.
I just continue to get to know him.
And the more time I spent with him,
the more I was like, man, this guy's awesome.
He's really attractive.
I like this, like about him.
And I like that about him.
And I would get so giddy when the dates would be coming.
Y'all, it was real.
And I was able to see the differences
between him and other people
because I was letting God show me
the things that I had seen before
but refused to pay attention to,
you know, those red flags, you know,
and I would blow past those in the past.
Well, God was showing me those red flags
and I was paying attention
when they were other people that I was dating
and it wasn't something that was healthy.
So I'm saying all that to say,
you can choose to surrender the pen too, if you're willing,
but it's up to you.
Maybe yours is, I'll never let my guard down ever again.
Maybe you have been abused by someone.
Maybe you went through betrayal,
you know, really significant financial issues
because of your former spouse or, you know,
ex or someone that you dated.
Whatever the dynamic is
where you started to let your guard down,
maybe it was.
even with family, and you're like, yeah, I'm trying Lord to love them, but every time I let my guard
down, they just hurt me over and over and over again. Now, I'm not saying just let everybody
into your life. If they're toxic and they're not healthy, you don't need to necessarily spend all
kinds of time with them. But what I am saying is that we need to come out of alignment with
these vows that we've been making, because the vows keep you stuck. Why? Well, because if you're
not willing to let your guard down ever, you're not going to be able to let your guard down with
a healthy man either. And men that are healthy are looking for healthy. All right. So do you
ever make statements or have thoughts that include words like always or never? Maybe you say something
like they always do that. I always get passed over. Men never come through for me. Men never
pick heavier women or, you know, whatever your thing is. The reason I use that is because we
actually had a woman in here. That's what she used to say all the time. Men never pick the heavy
women. They always pick the skinny women. Guess what y'all? She said that until she was blue in
the face and we kept coaching her. Guess what? She's married now and she's in love. So anybody
can get married and find someone healthy. So I'm just debunking that for you right now. But
legitimately, some of you actually think things like that about yourself. We won't go into that
Gabriella here in the heart work, but that is in other phases of our community where you guys will
get actual heart work or excuse me, dating coaching. But the more that you heal, the more
that you're going to recognize a healthy man, because Jesus is going to show you what healthy
looks like. All right. Maybe yours is I'm never seen or noticed, you know, the always and never.
That's what I'm talking about right now. This afternoon, one that came up and I felt like it
was so significant because it came up for two different people that I wanted to mention it
tonight. There was a story that was being told also about how this one woman's parents would
send her to her room without dinner, like she wasn't being fed at times, literally as a kid.
Y'all, this is neglect. If that happened to you, I'm so sorry. That's neglect. Okay. And so we want
to understand that the reason I'm bringing this up, sorry, is that when that was happening to her,
she started making a statement to herself in inner vow, kind of like,
I'm not even hungry anyways. I didn't want that food. And still today as an adult, this is
something that she struggles with eating and cooking healthy food and things like that. And so
maybe yours, um, another lady was sharing that she got left out by her grandmother and the
grandmother would give the favored the boys. And so would give the boys, whatever it was that she
was wanting, but not give it to her. And so she would tell herself, I didn't even want that anyways.
And that might not seem like an outward overt inner vowel, but y'all, it totally is an inner vowel.
You're basically saying, I'm not going to let anybody hurt me ever again.
And so I'm going to actually deny how I feel because in those situations, those women that
hurt them, but because they were protecting their hearts, they were trying to convince
themselves that they did not care. I'm not hungry anyways. And I, I, I literally, I heard that this
afternoon on the session. I was listening to a podcast this afternoon, and this guy talked about,
are you suffering in silence? Are you suffering in silence? And so I want to say to you tonight,
are some of you suffering in silence and you're partnering with this doesn't bother me,
but it really did. It really did bother you. And it not only bothered you, but it hurts you.
And the Lord cares about the pain that you have felt back then, as well as the pain that you feel
now. I'm going to give you your activations for this week, and then we're going to go into coaching.
So if anybody would like to share tonight, what you shared in your breakout, or it could just be
anything that even got stirred up when I was talking about the vowels, you want to go ahead
and raise your digital hand. If you're not sure how to do that, if you hover over the bottom of
the screen, it's going to give you options for reactions. You might have to click on more,
but there's also a raise hand option there. You can do that. The activations for this week are,
we have two, roots and fruits drawing. Okay. I will tell you, I already put the directions up
in the group this morning, so they're already there for you, but I want to show you the roots
and fruits, a couple examples. Yours do not have to look like this lady's, but again, I just want
to show you so you have something to base it off of. Sorry, I meant to scroll up. Okay. So here's
one. This lady did, she drew a tree and she's got her roots down there and the root systems,
they have some good, some not.
And then she decided to just do greenery on the top of hers.
This one, this lady drew, again, the roots,
and then she went into what the lies that she was believing
that were connected to those roots.
So, again, I want y'all to pray and follow the Holy Spirit
when you do your activation.
What does He want you to put on yours?
This lady is a teacher.
I don't know if y'all can tell, but she's very organized.
She's got her board.
And God led her to, like, put some truth on there.
You know, I will find my husband.
I'll deserve God's best.
But down in, she's got adulthood, abandonment,
adulthood perfectionism, rejection,
and then that goes down into her core beliefs,
I'm not worthy, and some other things that are in there.
So, again, you're praying and asking God to show you
what are the lies that you're believing,
what are the unhealthy roots that are producing unhealthy fruit.
Here's another one.
I love this.
Super simple.
Y'all can do it.
It does not have to be super crafty and creative.
It can be just like this, and this is perfect, okay?
So, if you want to be more creative, that's awesome, too.
Hers is, like, fear of man.
She's got some healthy ones in there, too.
Unhealthy efficiency, self-protection,
and then it goes up.
If you see, if you go up that one that says unhealthy efficiency,
it goes straight up into the unhealthy fruit is distracted.
Y'all starting to understand a little bit how this goes?
Here's some.
I'm going to show you two that were done on computers.
Totally cool if you want to do it like this, too.
Unhealthy boundaries.
So, do you struggle with boundaries?
If so, y'all, that's unhealthy root system down in there.
If you have insecurity, you know, fear, anger, you know,
those are all unhealthy roots.
Again, here's another one done on a computer,
and then I wanted to show you this one.
This one is someone that is an artist,
and so I don't want you to get intimidated,
but I just thought this one was really cool in the depiction of,
on the left side is all the unhealthy roots and fruit.
In the middle is the healthy roots leading to the healthy fruit,
and then she drew the Holy Spirit in there being that helper in her process.
Okay?
So, again, you guys can do it however you want to do it,
but those are some examples.
So, the roots and fruits is one of your activations.
The second one is we're going to, I'm calling it caught a thought.
I want you to track your thoughts this week.
I want you to really pay attention to how many of the thoughts that you have
are negative, and then what thoughts have you caught and stopped?
There's a scripture that's posted in the group that goes with that,
2 Corinthians 10, 5, that talks about demolishing every stronghold
and taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Jesus Christ,
and that we would catch those quickly, ladies, and I'm paraphrasing that.
That's not in the scripture, but that's something I pray,
because I believe God wants us to catch those things very quickly
before we think on them long-term.
Okay?
All right.
I'm going to go ahead and go into the group coaching now.
If you have any questions about the activations,
you can post those in the comments of that post that's up in the group,
and I can answer those there for you on the activations.
All right.
Sam W., go ahead.
Hi.
Can you hear me?
I can.
Hello.
Hi.
So we actually started this conversation in the Ask a Coach group,
and we never really finished it,
but the always and never statements definitely struck me,
and the one I wrote down was I'm always friend-zoned by guys,
and you had mentioned in the chat in the Ask a Coach
when I felt like the first time I was friend-zoned,
and I wasn't 100% sure on that, but then you had asked,
like, do you typically, like,
are you kind of a person that can do it yourself?
Like, you always want to do.
I can do this myself.
And I was like, yes, definitely.
I'm one of those people that wants to do it on my own,
and actually the Holy Spirit brought to mind when my parents got divorced,
and I saw how my mom sort of fell apart.
Like, she had five kids.
She wasn't working at the time.
She had had a career, but she gave it up to raise the kids,
and now she had to change all of that.
We moved cities.
Like, there was a whole bunch of stuff that happened,
and I just saw her falling apart as, like, a nine-year-old.
I could see she was not keeping it together.
And I think even then, like,
I just had to know that I could do it on my own so I didn't turn out
destroyed by betrayal like my mom.
And that was sort of the vow that I had made.
I mean, it wasn't an always or never, but it was like I did.
I had to know all the way up until I was, like, 30, and I'm 43 now.
I had to know I could do it on my own because I didn't want to, like,
marry somebody right out of college.
And.
and then leave me and fall apart.
And it turned out like around the age of 27,
like I was really focused on my career.
I was out in Los Angeles working in film and television,
working crazy hours, no support system.
And I had a huge nervous breakdown
and I couldn't do it on my own, like even then.
But I still had that mentality of like,
I have to do it on my own all the way up until,
yeah, probably my third decade.
So that's where I'm at with that.
I haven't, I've definitely broken that vow.
And so Lord, I renounced this vow
that I have to do it on my own, you know.
But I think that was definitely part of the root
of the being friend zoned.
Yeah, well, and even in addition to renouncing it,
I wanna encourage you to come out of agreement with it.
Yeah.
Because if it's still showing up,
it's still in there in your subconscious somewhere
that you can't rely on people.
Yeah.
And so you may even wanna ask the Lord,
was your parents divorced the first time you partnered
with the lie that you had to take care of yourself?
And just see what he shows you.
And that might be the first time,
but it kind of makes me wonder
if there's maybe something else still underlying that,
that might've happened before they actually got divorced.
You know, and not trying to say something,
you know, that I don't know,
but typically, you know, before parents get divorced,
there's quite a bit of time where there's fighting
and things happening, right?
And so, yeah, just be asking the Lord about that.
And then also the other thing that I wanted to mention,
as you were saying, do it myself.
Oh, yes.
So this week, your assignment is this.
I want you to pray and ask God to show you something
that you need to ask somebody to help you with,
and that he would show you who to reach out to,
and that you would reach out and ask them for help.
And if, you know,
if it doesn't come to you right away this week,
so sorry, you all,
even if it comes later into next week or whatever,
just follow that, follow where the Lord is leading,
but don't put it off, okay?
So just start praying about that.
But I feel like you need to practice letting people help you
and when you're doing that,
that you would not partner with any lies,
you know, sometimes people will be like,
well, I ask people to help me all the time,
but they don't show up for me.
And I just wanna make sure
that you would resist any lies like that.
Even if the person that you ask
says they're not able to help you right now, trust that.
Because again,
this is all about revealing for healing as well.
So let's see what comes up when you do this
and you step out to let people help you,
because this is gonna prepare you
for the day when you meet your spirit mate,
and he's gonna wanna help you.
And if we can't receive from people now,
it's gonna be really tough to receive
from the spirit mate later.
So I think those are two good continuing stepping forward
in those areas.
And I look forward to hearing how it goes for you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Karen Roa, go ahead.
Hey.
Hi.
I had some interesting revelations yesterday
that I was able to get to a certain point,
but not beyond yet.
I felt resistance to go to the next steps at church.
And I asked myself why, what's going on with that?
Realizing that I was weary of introducing myself
and saying, oh no, it's just me.
When asked, oh, do you have a husband?
Oh, do you have kids?
And I accepted a new job in the last month.
So there's been a lot of introductions
and a lot of explaining my life.
So I was just weary of like,
is there a healthier way to say this with hope
and not being like, oh yeah, no, just me, I live alone.
I'm tired of that story,
but I was like, what's underneath that?
And while leadership of the church
were like rifling through the class to say,
oh, I'm in charge of this, I'm in charge of that,
we need a volunteer here.
The middle school pastor was saying
that they are looking for leaders.
And I was like, ooh, that's something I could do.
But in the immediate afterthought was,
oh, but would they accept me because I'm not married?
And later, as I was weeding my garden,
I was like, what is that about?
Like, why do I doubt that I could be a leader
from middle school?
And the underlying lie is that I'm not useful
in the church unless I'm married.
That's huge, Karen.
So do you know when that took root?
I think it's the high school that I went to,
the junior high and high school I went to.
I was very,
legalistic, and a woman's place was to be married and have kids. And that's what success as a
I was very,
Christian woman was represented as. And that was the high school that you went to? That's what
you said? Right. I was there from sixth grade to twelfth grade. Was it a Christian school?
It was a Baptist Christian school. My home life was not that strict.
But the school was. So I learned to kind of be two people during that time.
Yeah. So have you ever done forgiveness prayer sheets regarding those administrators in the
school and the religious beliefs and legalism that they were raising you up in at the school?
I haven't. I would do that. I think because
what's happening is basically you're believing a lie that you're counted out before you even get
started. But it sounds like God is starting to reveal some things to you from that timeframe
that got embedded in your subconscious because of things that you were hearing and things that
you were going through. And there might be additional layers for healing there.
If you got in trouble or just anything. No, I was the quiet, good student. I learned to hide.
Okay. Well, that's the flip side though. You see like sometimes, and not even that you would be a
bad kid, but some kids get in trouble in those schools just because they like barely do anything,
but they talk. Yeah. Right. And so the other side is what you just said, people that go into hiding
and then they live in hiding and they don't know how to come back out of that. And so, yeah,
I definitely think you forgiving anybody, whoever comes to mind, if there's any administrators that
you remember by name, but just in general, praying to forgive those leaders, that school,
and even maybe your parents for, for sending you there. And let's just see where that,
that thread starts to lead you. Okay. But also when you said, Oh no, it's just me. It's interesting
before you even kind of said, is there a better way, healthier way to say this in my spirit?
I was thinking, yeah, I don't, I don't want you to say that anymore. I just don't want to say it.
It's so unhelpful. I think it's okay for you to say it's like, Oh no, marriage. Hasn't been part
of my story yet. Yeah. It's you can partner. That sounds like a very healthy way to say it.
You can just say, you know, Hey, no, I'm, I'm here and I'm super excited to get involved.
Like you don't even have to like fully explain to them. Um, and most times people will, um, I
mean, you're going to have to fill out the volunteer forum at most churches anyways,
ask you about those things. So I feel like sometimes because we, um, I'm going to use
the word embarrassed. We get embarrassed sometimes by our status. And so like, even
I went to this appointment today and, um, the doctor was asking like,
if I had biological children yet, or the helper helper girl there. And I had just told her,
we started working with this other doctor. And so it was kind of apparent that, you know,
we're going to the specialist, but it didn't mean I hadn't had kids yet, but she felt so bad that
she asked me if I had bio kids, I was like, I'm not, you would have no way of knowing if I had,
you know, but like, I think inside of us, we internally struggle with things.
And so when we're asked something, we feel pressure and pain. So if we resolve it within
ourselves, before we even get around people or their situations or those questions where we're
just like, you know what, I'm good. Like, it doesn't mean we don't want a spirit mate, but
that we're whole and that we're happy and content, like where we're at, but also as we go,
that makes sense. It does. Yeah. And where you really start to partner with, you're not less
than yeah, because you're not married yet. Okay. Well, I believe God is going to bless you with
the spirit mate and lead you on the way to that, but you're not less than because you're not married
yet. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. So let's, let's do a couple of those things and
see how it goes. Um, and as you're processing that forgiveness, if anything else comes up,
um, you know, if it comes up before we do live next week, I would love for you to come in the
group and let, let's chat that. Cause I have a feeling it's going to be a little bigger.
Oh yeah. There's a lot of layers there. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing. Thanks.
You're welcome. Nadine, go ahead.
Hey Bethany. Also I'm sitting outside. Can you hear me? Yep. I can hear you.
Okay. Awesome. Um, I'm actually going to share something that I didn't share on the
prove. But what's coming to mind as everyone's talking about is I
think my fruit is that I don't initiate. But I feel like it's
rooted in fear. But I, I don't really don't know what's like
the first time that I've experienced this. But like quick
story, with my son situation, you know, me and his dad
separated, we were never married, but we separated in
2017. And it's been turmoil ever since. But when I started
serving the Lord back in 2020, that was when I really tried to,
you know, change everything and be the good person and all the
things despite all the bullying and all the other things that
have happened with them. And even still, since then, there's
been like two times where things have been thrown in my face. And
there's been like legal percussions with me just trying
to trust them again. And so I know that like, I just, unless
things on paper, like we can't really go deviate from that. And
so like the Lord is showing me about a year or so ago, one of
the situations was he was allowing me to move out of
state with my parents for a few months to save up to be able to,
you know, be able to buy a house because it's been like I have
had to rent since then I don't have any family around me. And I
ended up in a situation where I was forced back to Tennessee
because it did not look favorable because I didn't
realize I was supposed to get court ordered approval to move
out. And so it forced my son into the school he was in, it
forced me to have to live between four or five different
houses in the span of like two months. And it was like, I was
so exhausted that I just signed the first lease that I could
find, which is the house I'm in now. And God gave me the screen
that showed me three different houses. And then there was one
house that was turned in a different direction. And there
was an aerial view. And I saw inside he was in the kitchen,
which I understand that's part where like, there was this man
and there's a pastor, which I don't really know what that
represents, which I feel like it's just the Holy Spirit, but
he was like quickly building shelves in this house. And at
the end of the dream, I just heard prepare the contract for
North Carolina. And so that was coming to mind when everyone
was sharing their stories. And so I felt like to share that
because I feel like the Lord is going to ask me to initiate
something and I don't know whether it's a move, whether
it's a new job opportunity in North Carolina, I sense it's a
move, because I've been praying for a way out with my son. But
there's a lot of fear that comes with that, because I don't
initiate things that starts that starts a tornado, if you will,
you know, like, I don't initiate things like that. I, I think I
confused trying to keep peace with, like, he's for everybody
else, but not for me, you know, and so yeah, that's what I just
wanted to share.
So remind me, I feel like I asked you this, but I can't
remember what you said is your son's dad in his life? Like,
does he spend time with him?
He's with him 50% of the time, but my son, it's like, every
time he comes back from his house, he's in tears because
he's been mistreated emotionally. His dad has two
older step sons that are not biological to my son. And then
one, we did talk about this. Okay. And then one half sister.
So my son's like in the middle. And my son has gone through just
so much already, where he was just thrown into that situation
months after we broke up. So at a very young age, so there's
just a lot of hurt and feeling and so you know, he he's not
very, he doesn't speak well of his father when he's at my
house, we'll say that, but he loves his father and he desires
that intimate time, but he just doesn't get it.
Okay. So, um, on the dream, the pastor represents God just FYI.
So God is the pastor in that, in that dream. And the building of
shelves is is is the preparing and fixing and rebuilding. And
understand that ladies, when we have dreams, this actually came
up this afternoon, too, that God is is speaking all the time, but
it tends to be symbolic, okay, so we, we have to really work on
understanding the symbolic representation of something God
is saying to us through a dream. And he may prepare you to do
that, you know, at some point regarding North Carolina, but
God's timing and our timing, God's soon and our sooner
different. Okay. So the one thing I will say, and I never
give legal advice or anything like that, and I'm not going to
now, but I do want to encourage you to definitely be talking to
anyone legally before you would even consider doing that.
Because your son has a dad in his life, even if he's not a
good dad, his dad isn't
life. Okay. And so just want to encourage you to kind of check out all the things that you would
need to have in place to, uh, even consider that, not just do it, but to even consider it and really
be in prayer about it too. I know it can be really tough ladies when our kids are, you know, even my
spiritual daughters, when I would have to send them to their moms or back to their dad, like
it was hard because I know they would go through a lot of stuff there that wasn't healthy and even
still as adults, like their parents are just not healthy. That's really hard, but we also have to
trust the Lord in what he's showing us. The one other thing I wanted to mention, you started out
by saying your fruit is that you don't initiate. So is the situation with your son and his dad and
their family when you first didn't start initiating or were there times in your life where you
struggled to initiate in the past? Um, yeah, there are some situations with his dad where I've not
initiated. Like for instance, he kept asking me at the very beginning of us being in Tennessee
to sign a certain contract that was favorable to exactly what they wanted. I kept putting it
off so much that they served me papers. And then, yeah, I mean, sorry. I mean, before all that,
like back when you were younger, did you struggle to initiate or to engage fully in a situation or
a dynamic or did that just start showing up when you were with him? I really don't know.
Um, I really don't know. I have a hard time, uh, remembering how I was as a kid. I often ask my
parents for explanations. I really don't know. Um, I feel like initiating things, maybe I didn't have
an issue, but just continuing on with things, I did have issues there. Okay. So I want you to ask
the Lord to reveal to you if there was a time in the past where you struggled to initiate. And I
keep hearing the word like not engaged. Okay. So maybe even what you were saying there, you would
start things, but not finish. So maybe there was a level of disengaging. Okay. And so let's just
see what the Lord reveals. Cause I think there's something to that. And then also you said when in
2020, you know, you started to change every everything and be the good person. Okay. Um,
I think there's something to that because a couple of times when you've mentioned that during sharing
or even in your, um, post in the group, God just keeps highlighting that to me. I it's amazing for
us to do our best to live a healthy life where we're full of Christ and we're being a good
reflection to the people around us. But it almost has felt like the enemy's convinced you that it's
your job to change them. Okay. And I just want to make sure that that's not in there underlying
that, you know, um, you feel responsible for them getting saved and in that kind of stuff. So just
pray into that. Um, I'm just sensing a little bit of like maybe, um, some legalistic teaching
you might've been under potentially in a church or some kind of atmosphere where.
You're trying to be really good. Does that make sense? What I'm saying?
It does. I grew up in a Southern Baptist church in Germany and like, they weren't even okay with
my parents being a biracial couple. So there was a lot of like, and it was just wrath preaching.
So there was a lot of things I had to come out of agreement with. And then I just didn't go to
church until I was older again. And even doing that, you know, with YouTube, there's just so
many different types of backgrounds and messages that you could get. And I was definitely,
Ooh, yeah. I hit some hard rock bottom, you know, starting my journey. And so now it's,
I don't know, just trying to learn the love of God right now.
You're doing great. And Hey, ladies, just so you know, when I, when I mentioned these kind of
things, um, and even when you just said that, like, you're doing the best that you could do,
Nadine, and it's not your fault. You didn't mess up, but you're doing the best that you could do.
Mess up. The reality is, is that the Lord just wants to help you cleanse and come out of that a
little bit more. And so it's just an invitation to really continue to step into the healing that
he already had, like that path that he already has you on. Um, and when you said that about
what your parents went through, I think that there is something to that. Okay. So seeing your parents
go through that, knowing about it, or even if you were young, but like, there could have been
things they were talking about, but you might've been little, um, that just asking the Lord about
that a little bit to see if there's revealing for healing, um, where you really just feel accepted.
Completely. Does that make sense? Why I'm saying that? Like, there's nothing about you that
wouldn't be accepted. Jesus loves us ladies, even when we make our biggest mistakes. Okay.
All right. So there's a couple of things for you to work on this week.
forward to hearing what God is going to reveal to you through these.
I think it's going to be really great.
Um, let's see, Erica, go ahead.
Wait, can you hear me?
Yep.
Okay.
Just making sure my connection is always great.
Not the best.
I apologize.
So I guess with me, I I'm new to this, right.
And I'm noticing that like, I have the fruits that are multiple
fruits that are rooted in the same exact lie.
Is that something that's common for me?
There's at least 12 fruits.
And I was just like, Oh my goodness, that I'm not worthy enough.
I'm not good enough.
And there are multiple memories, I think that go through it.
But one, what happens when you just have lived this as long as you remember?
Like, I, I, yeah, tell me, tell me what's, what's one example.
Oh, man, I'm going to cry and ruin my mascara.
One minute.
Um, all right.
I guess that I'm not good enough or that I'm different and
and it wasn't okay to be different.
Tell me what that means to you.
What, what, that you're different and that it wasn't okay to be different.
Like, how did that show up for you as a kid?
Um, Oh, I guess it started with that.
Um, I have a learning disability.
I have ADHD.
So I knew that I always was different and my siblings, I guess I was always
compared to, because they were very smart and they were very with it and they
were very quiet and they didn't struggle.
Okay.
So were you not quiet, Erica?
No, not even close.
And I'm still not.
And that's okay.
It is okay.
And I've learned to accept that.
And I've learned that God gives people different talents for different reasons.
I'm a teacher and I'm a great one, but I guess that's something that I realized.
Oh, wow.
This is revealing a lot to me.
Ooh, that because I was different, people always judged me.
And I guess in every single Avenue, I felt like I was never enough.
Do you remember the first time that you didn't feel enough, like, and it's okay
if you don't remember fully tonight, but like, when is the first time that you
remember feeling that nothing you could ever do was good enough?
I I've always felt that way, I guess.
So, okay.
This goes back to your original question.
So if you feel like even as a little kid, you remember always feeling that way.
You were asking me how, like, how does that happen basically?
Right.
Is that what you were asking me?
Somewhat.
And I think that, yes, that's intergenerational trauma, but I think I,
like, I felt that way always as a little kid, but also I guess I felt it more
strongly in middle school.
I was bullied a lot and I was at a Christian school when it made me feel
like I was at a Christian school and it made me really turn away from the whole
idea of religion until recently, which would, you know yeah.
So what did the kids bully you about?
I got a couple death threats.
Um, um, just everything I was different and they didn't like that.
I was different.
They didn't like my shoes or the way that I talked or the way that I looked.
I just didn't have any friends and, um, I just felt alone.
So one of the things I think is going to be really important, Erica, is I want you
to start coming out of agreement with the lie that you're different.
I mean, it's okay for us all to be different.
Okay.
So I want to say that, but at the same rate, the enemy fed that to you in such
that you felt like an outsider, you felt lonely and isolated.
And God wants you to be invited.
He is inviting you back into community, back into action.
And one of the ways to start moving towards that is to literally like, say
something like I choose tonight to come out of agreement with the lie that I'm
different, I'm not enough and come into agreement with God, you have fearfully
and wonderfully made me, I'm not messed up.
I'm not broken.
No.
Okay.
So that's what another question I asked.
So I also, because I think that I've always thought that I wasn't enough and
that I've always felt fearful.
I struggle with control.
If you haven't noticed that, um, I struggle with control.
trolling things. I mean, I'm a teacher. I'm very like rigid
and structured with things. I'm very organized with things. I
know a big part of this. Well, the whole part of this is
letting God do all the work, right? And I've accepted that
99.9%. Like I get it. But how am I like, how am I supposed to
know when I'm healed? How am I supposed to know how to agree or
how to forgive if I'm not supposed to do anything with it?
Well, so that's actually when we surrender to the Lord, we're not
saying that we're not doing anything. Okay. We are choosing
to partner with God in what he's doing. Okay. So for example, if
I just wait for God to drop a baby in my lap, now he might, he
might do that. But you know what, having a baby takes all
kinds of stuff that y'all know what it takes, right? Yeah.
There's two people that have to act on something. And then if
that's not working, you got to involve doctors and you got to
do tests and you got to do all these steps. So it's no
different in heart healing. Okay. So in your life, as
you're going through heart healing, you are surrendering
your like everything to the Lord, but you're not just
saying here you go, Lord, you know, like you just fix it. I
mean, we are saying that but you're also saying, Lord, I'm
giving this to you. And I trust you to show me what step to take
every day to partner with you in my healing process. Okay. And
that's the thing. I haven't had many steps. Now I've had a ton
of dreams, right? And I know that they're transformation
dreams, because three of the dreams were water. One of them,
I was in like a big ocean, and I was trying to kayak. And the
other one, it was raining. And there was just a big
thunderstorm coming down. And then the other one, I was in a
pool in like a floaty, but like, I just I have a feeling that
water because it ebbs and it flows. And my interpretation,
it's like a spiritual awakening, spiritual transformation, it's
clean, it's holiness. But that's might be the ELA teacher like
coming out of me. But then I've also had dreams about my
principle, which I don't get because she's not religious at
all. But maybe like, because she's the authority figure in my
life. Like, you know, like my boss, when God should be like my
boss, I just don't know.
Yeah. And so the best way for us to unpack some of these things
is like, when you have some of these dreams, you can actually
come into the group and post about them. And we'll give you
feedback on them and help you even if you know, I mean, ladies,
we do want you to pray and ask the Lord, we want you to journal
your dreams. We want you to pray and ask the Lord to give you
wisdom and insight. But we want to also help you be like be a
part of that process with you. And I mean, God gives me just
all kinds of different revelation for people on their
dreams. He'll give me questions to ask you all to kind of go
back and, you know, talk to the Lord more about those things.
But I think the biggest thing is that for some of you, you know,
we want healing so bad, and all of us want healing bad. But like
for some of you, it's like trying to figure out how do we
how can we, you know, have every little aspect. And I'm hearing
the word perfection come up, Erica. So, you know, yeah,
that's area. Yeah. Like, I tried to be perfect, right? Messing
up. Yeah. And what I want you to know is that you can't mess
this up. Okay? Yeah. God's gonna help you walk this out one
little step at a time. Every day. I tell people all the time
one of the best things you can do is every day ask the Lord,
Lord, what's one thing I can do today to take a step towards my
healing? Okay. And if that's reading in the heartwork book,
if that's watching a video, if that's journaling, if that's
praying, like he's going to show you and specifically, he'll show
you sometimes what to pray for. So he's going to help you know
those action steps to keep taking. And in those, that is
where we can surrender control. Because sometimes God is going
to ask us to do things like I've given some of these other ladies
where we're forgiving people, and we're surrendering them and
situations to him, you know, and so I think the biggest, you
know, things for you, again, is coming out of alignment in
agreement with the lie that you're different, you're not
good enough, and that you can never be treated equally, because
that's coming up in my spirit, too, because you were saying a
lot of your, you know, growing up, they were smart, I was, and
they were quiet, and I was the opposite. So there's a lot of
labeling going on there. The was trying to make you feel like you
were not ever good enough that comparison trap. And so coming
out of that place, and really stepping into your identity. So
the silhouette activation from last week will be really
important for you. God, who do you say that I am?
One minute, let me work that
And taking time to let God show you who you are through his eyes, help you hear what his
spirit is saying.
If you, if you watch last week's replay towards the end, I kind of explain that a little bit
more and you can just, even if you're not able to watch the whole thing, just catch
the end of that.
Cause it'll be really helpful for you in this process.
Okay.
Awesome.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Way to go on your first time.
You did a great job.
Yeah.
And I've had therapy today.
I've had meetings today.
Y'all, this is how it works.
We come into community and we, we allow God to work in us and we trust and we allow like
sisters to come around us.
It's a beautiful thing, Erica.
Thank you for sharing Jockabed.
Go ahead.
Hello.
Am I saying your name right?
It's Jockabed.
Jockabed.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm going to try it with an accent because I think the Joe sounds like a boy's name.
So one of the things that you had said earlier that really resonated with me is that I grew
up in church and my dad was a pastor and it kind of like triggered me to not desire that
as an older person just because well, my mom was like a very unhappy pastor's wife and
my dad was not the type of pastor who led a double life, but he did put the ministry
before his family and my brother became a drug addict and a very abusive person to this
day and my mom blames him for that, that he never took authority.
He just let like, let him do whatever he wants because he was so focused on the church's
problems that he never really paid attention to his own son like that.
And so, and also my sister as well, she kind of, she blames that my sister went out with
like not great men.
It was because, you know, whatever my dad didn't really teach her how to look for a
good man and my dad was a good guy.
He was not a bad father.
We all love him, but you know, he did, you know, just not pay attention to us.
Like we were not like first, you know, stuff like that.
So like, I guess fast forward like years later, I'm the only one in my family who's
been single, but all my siblings have been divorced actually.
So I'm the only one who's never been married and has no children.
They all have children actually.
And so now I'm the only one who's actually like serving the Lord, but it's been kind
of like rough with my dating because I feel like now I'm a lawyer and like, it's, it's
so different for me because I've gone out with Christian guys and I've been dumped by
Christian guys because they think that I'm not going to be a good wife.
And so it kind of like, because of your job or what?
Yes.
And, um, they see my family dynamic and the way my mom is, and they think that that's going
to kind of be like their life and how my, what my mom was like, cause my mom was also
very narcissistic.
She like treated my dad really bad, but I was like the nicest guy.
And like, um, so it kind of like, I like the very first time, like I did, I waited on the
Lord for years and years.
And then I met this guy at church and then he dumped me because he didn't think that
I was going to be a good wife or a good mother.
Was it one guy that did this and said this, or more than one guy that has said that?
One guy who said this.
And then every time I've been like, tried to get like hooked up with somebody like in
the church or something like that, every time they meet me, they don't want to like pursue
anything.
Let me ask you a question.
And when I ask you this question, I don't want you to worry about us thinking something
bad about your mom.
Okay.
Did you ever feel like your mom wasn't a good wife?
I do feel that way.
Okay.
Here's the thing you, you need to take some steps to forgive your mom and come out of
bitterness and resentment towards her for not being a good wife or being maybe not being
a good mom or, or whatever.
Cause what's happening from my perspective is it's attracting like those statements being
made over you, even though that's most likely not even true about you, but like that, that
guy saying that to you, as soon as he said it in your subconscious, somehow you partnered
with it.
Does that make sense?
So we got to come out of agreement with the lie that was spoken over you through that
man, that you wouldn't be a good wife.
Because now what I hear you saying is without saying it, you're afraid.
that this is what men are going to think about you. That's why I said, is this just your job?
And that's where you started explaining more. And so coming out of agreement with those lies,
that's not who you are. And again, like, what is God saying about you? Does God say you're
going to be a good wife? Does God say you're going to be healthy and be able to establish
a good family? I think God wants to tell you some things about that, but let's lean into what he's
saying. But forgiving your mom and, and, and ladies, sometimes we don't even realize
how deep the bitter root goes. Yeah. Cause even recently,
cause the only longest relationship I've ever had was with a Jewish guy. And
recently we were, we, and I, cause even when I have gotten on dates with Christian guys,
it's either doesn't go past one day or I've gotten, basically the first time it was,
I got dumped within like a few months. And then, um, every time that's happened,
like my, even my mom recently was just like, we went to like this kosher restaurant. Cause I live,
I live in Southern California. So we were in LA and we went to this kosher restaurant with my
brother. And then she was just like, Oh, well, I feel like the guys here are actually checking you
out. And when we go to church, cause we was like mother's day. And we, I had gone to her church
cause my dad passed away. So I went to her church and, um, I went to her church and then she's just
like, well, it seems like you're actually guys checking out. Cause if we go to church, you know,
you're not going to get nobody, you know, you're not getting nobody. So it's, I feel like, is that
a lie that I feel like I'm starting to like partner with probably they value like Jewish men value,
the type of woman that I am as far as like being a lawyer, because I feel like every time I go on,
like the group that I'm in, um, for like, I was in this, I joined this like singles group.
And every time some guy posts, you know, something, they always, one of the things that
they post, if they've never been married, it's like, they want a woman who wants to stay home
and like, doesn't have a career. And some guys kind of say stuff like that.
Yeah. And, and that's okay. I mean, it's just that that's not going to be your spirit mate.
And so I wonder like, is that in the cards for me? Like, you know what I mean? Like,
okay, here's the thing. You have to trust that God has a spirit mate for you. He already knows
what your profession is. Okay. And so just because, um, we may feel that some people
have a different preference, that doesn't mean that God can't lead you to a spirit mate that
is like, thinks it's amazing that right now you're just rocking it. And, you know, those
conversations about what you all do, if you, if you want kids and all those kinds of things can
come later, but just, I think just encouraging you to not partner with that. You're not going
to be chosen because you're a lawyer and you can only date certain guys because you have this
profession. Um, those are all things I would encourage you to not partner with because those
are all fear-based and remember fear has to do with torment, but perfect love casts out fear.
So if you continue to allow yourself to soak in the truth of who God is as love for you
and towards you, and he has all this love that he wants to express to you. Um, the more that you
soak in that, the more it will help you kind of let go of these fears, these doubts and unbelief
that are all partnering together. And yes, things your mom are saying, like is saying to you is,
is definitely feeding into those fears for you. And so I would just encourage you ladies, this
is for all of you before you go around anybody that tends to be negative or say negative things,
whether they mean to or not put on the armor of God, you guys have to go armored up. I can't tell
you how important this is. Um, my mom, a lover, she's no longer with us. Um, man, it was tough
to be around her sometimes, especially towards the end. She was very, just very bitter and lonely,
and she would spew things out on me, but you all doubt, like at the end, when she was passing away,
I was the only person that she wanted to take care of her. Very interesting. I think that God
was working in that somehow. And so we have to just continue to surrender. Like even in those
situations, you know, God helped me to hear only what your spirit is saying that you would
literally guard me from what the, the, you know, the lions are speaking and help me to hear and
know you like your truth. Nobody else's truth, but your truth Lord. And so I want to encourage
you, like come out of alignment with some of those things also just, you know, again,
forgiving your mom and being able.
to start working on the forgiveness prayer sheets regarding the ways that it sounds.
Probably like you might be standing in judgment of her some. Okay. And so remember what I said
when I was reading that excerpt judgment has to do with a fragmented heart. So most likely
things that your mom did in the past and it created breakdown or pain in your family.
There was probably times along the way where you judged her and you partnered with that. And then
you like every time after that, if there was additional wounding, there could have been
additional judgments or criticisms made or those kinds of things. That's how the strongholds form
ladies is that every time new news, something new is presented to us that we don't know any better.
And we have all this brokenness. And so we keep partnering with it and we keep partnering with
it and we keep partnering. And that's, that's where the strongholds get developed. Does that
make sense? All right. So look forward to hearing how this goes. I think there's a lot of good
things. You can have everything God wants for you, including a spirit mate. He's not surprised by
your profession. Okay. Yeah. Love this. Y'all let's partner with truth. What is heaven saying? I led
the prayer call this morning. That was one of the things God was saying. So God, what are you saying
over me from heaven today? All right. If anyone needs to jump off totally fine. I am going to go
ahead and let these last three ladies share, but I won't be able to take anybody else. And we're
going to do our best to be done. Literally. I cannot go past 10 y'all I'll start getting in
trouble with the boss. So Catherine, I would love to hear what you have to say.
I mean, I definitely feel inspired to share, especially with, um, other sisters in Christ
here talking about, about feeling less than for not being married, feeling like all the different
things that were shared, which I feel like we lift each other up being open and everything.
Um, I actually really feel less than, and I wish my only problem was I was never married,
but to have a marriage and in divorce and be shamed about it on Facebook, I'm not even kidding.
And, um, my son's father is the one who wanted it in the first place. I mean,
it makes me go to a certain place where trust me, if I could control the man, I would,
I would. And it's like, and then I go into that zone. And even speaking of powerful dreams,
this is probably why I've had very powerful dreams of being president of this country or vice
president, you know, kind of like, Oh, I want to show him, but you know, it's stuff like that,
that really made me feel like, Oh my gosh, I'm a horrible wife. Um, and then I've even believed
that, okay, I'm definitely within the generational curse because my parents got a
divorce and have even been thinking, Oh, I could use a massive deliverance and get rid of that
as well. But I mean, this, this is the hardest thing because I feel like I get so judged
because of this and basically told that I can't have a spirit mate at all because of this or
you certain quote unquote Christians on Facebook, which is why I know as my son grows up, I'm going
to be telling him really watch on social media because that could be the biggest place people
can be a bully. Yeah. Yeah. Have you watched the divorce and remarriage video session yet?
I don't think I have. Okay. But I am inspired that Jackie has said she has been divorced before
and then she's got her good spirit mate now. I mean, I don't know what I would do without that
because literally when it comes to my son's dad, he wanted the divorce. So he abandoned me
and he cheated on me. And I know those are biblical ground. And I know I've been told by
good Christians that I've put myself under their leadership. I've taken classes with them. I've
helped out in their ministry. I've been told, no, I have biblical ground, but then there's
those one or two that's really legalistic of like, well, like adultery is adultery. And like,
you can't remarry unless he's dead. And it's like, believe me,
I wish many times that I was a widow instead. Are these people that you are just friends
with on Facebook or you spend time with them? These people that are talking to you this way?
Thankfully, no, it's just people in what's supposed to be.
Christian groups on Facebook, but then they say, they say ridiculous things like that,
like that.
Okay.
People that you don't even know really are saying and attacking you.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to encourage you for a little while just to maybe not get in those groups and
interact.
I want you to have a time of like healing and being away from people's judgment and
their criticisms and all the things and being shamed for it on Facebook, because let's just
pull away from all of that and really just spend this time only on your heartwork and
hearing what God wants to say to you, um, that divorce and remarriage.
I would love for you to go ahead, no matter what week you're on, you can click and look
through those weeks.
And I want you to find that.
I forget what week it's in.
I just can't remember right now, but it's in, it's in one of the weeks and you can,
okay.
Pamela, thank you.
I think that I would love for you to listen to that this week, because I, I feel like
some of the stuff that you've been like, that has been said to you, um, is probably partnering
with things that you heard even growing up where some, a lot of times y'all, the whole
divorce and remarriage and all that is very wrongly preached from a lot of pulpits.
Okay.
And so it's really important to guard your heart and your mind, uh, through Christ Jesus
a hundred percent in this regard.
But this week, that's, that's the assignment I have for you.
I feel like that's going to help you, um, heal a little bit more, hear the truth of,
of what God's word actually says, um, and start to plant some good seeds in there.
Um, the feeling less than, you know, if that is really deep in your core, let's ask the
Lord to reveal to you where that started.
If it started before the divorce, um, that you would know again, that root of that.
And so when we, when we ask, when we ask for the root, we ask for God to reveal that
so that we don't have done all this other stuff, as I was talking about, that's building
on top of that.
If the root gets healed, guess what?
It creates this ripple effect and the other stuff starts to get healed too.
And so that's, that's genuinely my encouragement for you this week.
Um, and, um, here's the other thing.
I know it can be tough when an ex, cause I I've gone through it multiple times when they
say crazy stuff on Facebook or wherever, um, or even to you directly via text, or.
I just want to encourage you to get your identity from the word and no one else and nothing
else.
And, and I know it can be tough when they're saying hurtful things and they're putting
it out there wherever they're putting it for people to see, but that you would just know
that you're God defended and God will bring everything that's in darkness to the light
and he will reveal what needs to be revealed that we would trust him to protect us and,
and look over us.
And honestly, if ladies, if we are moving forward and our eyes are on heaven, and we're
looking for things that are true, noble, lovely, and of good report, guess what?
Even when those people are doing and saying those things, we're going to stop engaging
with that garbage.
Okay.
Not that you are engaging it, but I'm saying this for everyone.
I had to learn to walk in a lot of self-control because every time I would even try to say
something positive, it would always get spun and turned into all this gaslighting and garbage.
And you know what?
Guess what was the most effective?
Not saying anything.
And that would really tick him off sometimes too in the beginning.
But the more that I just didn't engage in the garbage, I just kept moving forward.
And you know what?
The garbage can at some point got left way back there and it wasn't with me anymore.
And that will happen for you too.
Now, when you all have kids with people, it's a little trickier.
My spiritual daughters aren't like my bio daughters, but in the beginning I still had,
like I had them all the time and I would have to engage with their dad.
Yes, man, that's trickier when I had to see him and hear this stuff, but I just kept praying
God help, like, just help me just to not engage and protect me even when he's saying crazy
stuff.
And, and that's just what I prayed and God did that for me.
I believe you'll do that for you too.
And I feel like I needed to hear that.
I feel like that was 100% like all God, because God knows he definitely has trashed me on
Facebook.
I actually got him in trouble when in court over that has even said stuff behind my back,
which that I shouldn't have been looking for.
That was on my fault.
And I think it's time to delete that stuff.
And I do have a son with him.
I do have a son with him, but at least he's signed off that I can move my son from Long
Island to upstate New York.
But even then we're going to have to come back down and I'm going to have to deal with
him.
But so forgiving him is going to forgive.
I think him is going to be a huge part of this for you, too.
Okay, absolutely. 100%. And I already decided for my son. I
don't want that to turn into what I saw with my parents. Yeah.
And how much my mom held on all that anger towards my dad for
years. I've already made that decision for my son. And I know
it's for me to Yes, it is for me to your freedom to not do that.
Yes. Walking into forgiveness is setting yourself free just as
much as it's setting everyone else free. Catherine, thank you
so much for sharing. Really appreciate you. Alexandra. Go
ahead.
Okay, hey, hi. Um, so I think for me, what came up was that
this when things go wrong, what comes up for me is like, I'm not
capable of dealing with this or I'm not, I'm not going to be
able to, to Yeah, I'm not capable of dealing with this.
And then I trace that back to just my upbringing stuff going
on. And my family was really rough. I was neglected when my
parents before my parents got divorced, and then they got
divorced. And then just a lot fell out from under us. My dad
took the house away. And we came home and these movers were like
packing our whole house up. And we moved into another house that
had molds. And then my mom got super. She was already addicted
to stuff, but super in into alcohol with her boyfriend and
just kind of left us at home a lot. And I was like in middle
school at that age, but so I just and then we lived in this
town or like everyone else had it together is like, or they
seem to is like very rich little town fam. Nobody else was
divorced, or very, that's just, I guess my friend group or the
town that I lived in. That's what it seems like. So I just
decided like something was really wrong with me at some
point. And I don't I think that I did some therapy on that too.
And I think when I was home alone, at some point, I decided
that there's something wrong with me. Like when my parents
should have been there. And so that still sticks with me. Oh,
my gosh. So and I've dealt with like worth trying to like pray
into my worth with God. And I speak that over myself a lot. So
I've grown in that area. But I think it still comes out
especially in dating, like, just that I'm not capable of
doing becoming who I want to become.
Okay. So when you say that you have thoughts like something was
wrong with you? Um, do you feel like at some point or any point
that you felt like your parents divorce was your fault? Was that
ever a thought that you had?
I it I think what I thought was like, Oh, I wasn't a nut. Like I
couldn't have kept this together. I wasn't enough to
keep this together.
Yeah, that's what the reason I was asking you because when you
say I'm not capable of dealing with us, that's where you
started. And then as you were talking and sharing about your
parents that you just kept feeling like something was wrong
with you versus something wasn't healthy with them. Even though
you knew stuff wasn't healthy, you were taking like you were
owning it as if there was something wrong with you.
Yeah, and I don't know, I think that's just what I decided when
I was alone one day. Like, that's, I don't know, my
sisters were making fun of me that time to like, they were
older than me, they didn't want to hang out with me. And so I
think that's those two things were happening at the same time.
And I just felt not worthy, I guess, and attached it to this
must be my fault. So I always tried to be really good. So
I've tried to be really perfect. And like, so then I can be very
hard on myself. And then I'm really hard on other people as
well. And that's what I'm struggling with right now is I'm
very critical and judgmental and hurt very easily by people. So
like the forgiveness, I'm trying to keep pressing on but I'm like
I have such a laundry list of hurts that so it's just gonna
take some time.
Well, and the being hard on yourself and others that
critical again, that's, that's just a defense mechanism that
you've learned over the years to self protect and yourself from
like, like, these people coming in and hurting and taking,
taking, taking. And so I just keep feeling like on this
something wrong with me. I want to encourage you to ask the Lord
this week to show you the first time that you had that thought.
In particular, and not only to show you like, what was the
memory that you had the thought but I want you to ask Jesus to
reveal to you where was he when that was happening? And what does
he want you to know about it?
Because this feels deep to me, and I think it's going into your identity core somewhere.
There's another lie that's partnering with it, but I just, I can't put my finger on it tonight.
But I feel like as you ask the Lord this, that he's going to illuminate that original situation
and dynamic when you believed the lie that something was wrong with you. But then when
he comes in, if you ask him to reveal, Jesus, where were you in this situation? And what do
you want me to know about it? He's literally going to be able to speak truth to you right
into the core of that situation. Does that make sense? Because right now, like, and this is where
you're doing a great job, but this is where ladies, we have to really, especially when we have
counselors and we've got multiple people we're working with and we're working on all this stuff
and we're working and we're working and that's good. But there comes a time where we just have
to like, say, Lord, like, I need you to help me with this supernaturally to give me revelation
on this because he knows what we like, he knows the why behind the what. Okay. So he knows the
why behind the, the lie, something is wrong with me. He can reveal that to you. Okay. And then also
on the, I feel like on the heart on yourself and other people, as you work on the forgiveness
prayer sheets, I really want to encourage you to go to the original, like the dad taking the
house from you, man, that is huge. Yeah. I'm still upset. Yeah. I mean, even hearing that myself,
I just can't imagine. And I'm so sorry that that happens to you and your family.
But forgiving him, even again, even if you've already done it, do a forgiveness prayer sheet
around that time. And I want you to ask the Lord to show you the feelings that you had when that
happened and identify them. And I want you to allow the Lord to help you like,
accept yourself even in that moment, no matter what the thing is. Okay. And that you wouldn't
shame it or push it away or like receive any guilt or condemnation for what you were feeling,
but then also inviting God to bring the truth into that situation as well. I feel like this
week is going to be focused on you inviting Jesus and God, the father to bring truth into
these situations. Yeah. You know, did you ever happen to talk to your dad about that situation
and like why he did that? No, that would be a good idea. And I, well, I might have a long,
long time ago. And I think he was just like, it's the only option I had, like,
which I, I like, I mean, he just wasn't great with finances at all. And like my, his brothers
were helping him financially and they didn't like my mom. So their ultimatum I'm sure was,
you know, if we're going to be helping you, he blames other people for everything though. So,
Oh, he hasn't taken responsibility is what I hear you saying.
Yeah. Both my parents don't usually. Okay. So that's something you're going to need to forgive
them for as well. Yeah. Responsibility and owning, just like we talked to you all in here,
we have to own our side of the street ladies. Okay. So we can't make other people on their
side of the street, but we can forgive them for the times that they're, they haven't been willing
or they haven't been capable of it because when they're broken, they're not whole. So they,
they aren't going to do healthy things like take responsibility. Right. But let's forgive them.
It doesn't mean that we have to allow it to be okay. We're not saying, Hey, this is okay that
you did this, but we're saying, you know, I forgive you for selling the house and not protecting and
defending us. Yeah. Okay. Those are a couple of big things. So I'm going to leave you with that
and let's see how that goes this week. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. You're welcome.
My pleasure. Hilda last but not least. I'm so excited to hear what you have to say.
Hi. Okay. So you have, you guys have all, by the time I got to this call, you guys have all kind of
helped me with what I was going to say. So thank you. So one of the things that you mentioned was
the thought control. I'm very sensitive to when I speak with someone, I kind of,
and I'm having a conversation, I kind of know when they're either struggling, like not struggling,
but that something's bothered them. I'm kind of sensitive to that. And when I, when I pointed out,
Then they, they get offended offensive. And then I can't go deeper in a, in a good like it's hard for me to have good friendships, like I can't, I can't like even count, like how many times I've been in a situation where I was just being
authentic. I was just being genuine. I was just trying to have a healthy relationship conversation. And based on what the topic was and so on, and then the person would just completely get offended so now that's in my mind.
Every time I go to speak. And of course we need to listen more be more an active listener and I am I've done tremendous amount of work on communications.
The Lord has revealed to me but I still have that lack of confidence and kind of like, you know, start talking to myself like, you know, you know, every time there's a birthday.
I don't really have genuine relationships like, oh my gosh, God, years have passed by.
And I don't really have people that I can actually call friends. Okay, so I'm like, Okay, I know I've been like concentrating in work and building a business and my children and so many things that happened in the past couple of years.
It's, it's very lonely when your birthday comes and you're like, I can't invite like, like, two or three girls or whatever to do so I don't have I've never been able to just recently I had had to break away from a relationship from a girl.
She was from church, and we just don't click, we tried I came back again and one of the things that happened was that exactly that same thing that when I'm having a, I had a conversation with her, and she was pointing out that you know that her son that she
had some thoughts of her son and something came on the radio was a Christian channel so well maybe the Lord is reflecting, and I said it in such a way in a voice that wasn't like I wasn't like, you know, preaching or anything I try to make sure not I'm not
preaching so I'm not hurting anybody's feelings so I said to her. I said well maybe the Lord, you know, based on what I learned from here I said maybe the Lord's trying to, you know, talk to you about something there so just kind of open up and what happened
in that moment so I'm like trying to, you know, I'm talking and I'm really because I'm genuine about really caring for people like talking to people.
And then, then it turned around and it just the whole thing just went upside down, and it turned around back to me. Oh, when you did this and when you did that and it just the whole thing just went back I think what happened was when I told her to.
And I said well you know what, maybe this that you're thinking about your son. Maybe God is just telling you maybe not to worry so much maybe just maybe take those thoughts captive and trust in the Lord, you know all that.
And so I started talking to her like that and then I said, I just, you know, there's something in my heart that I've been wanting to tell you and that's that I've noticed that when I have gone to your house a couple times you've been very like, you know, like, always
trying to make sure everything is perfect and so worried and I just don't see you really relaxing and. And so this is my tonality.
She just turned it around and then just made it about the reflection was no longer her, it was me but yet when she speaks into me about something I'm open to it.
And I have a question for you. I have a question for you.
For the people that this happens with. Would you say that they all tend to be a similar type of person. Oh my goodness, yes, 100%. Yeah, and that you're attracting friends that are not can like just like we would coach you all in the next phases.
I would encourage God to highlight people for you that have a spiritual DNA similar to you so that you pair well with them. I'm going to encourage you to start praying that regarding friendships, because I think what's happening, a couple things.
I would encourage people that are not in the same spiritual DNA doesn't mean that you're better than them. It just means like you're saying, I let them speak into my life but they're not willing to let me speak into their life.
Yeah, so a couple things too. And I don't know how long you were friends with this woman but this is something I wrote down as you were talking, ladies, sometimes we don't have enough equity in a relationship to say the things that we're saying.
Okay. And it doesn't mean that's the case here. I'm just saying in general, that we would be in prayer about okay does this like, does this relationship.
have enough foundation. Is there enough trust equity between us for me to say the thing
that I feel like I I'm about to say here. Okay. Um, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't
have said that or asked her those things. It sounds like, you know, she went on the
defense right away. And that's why I asked you, you know, are these kind of similar people?
So I wanted you to start praying, you kinds of friends that God would lead you to friendships
that where you all can both give and take. Okay. And that you can receive well from each
other and that God would bless you with that. And then the other thing is, um, and again,
I don't think that you, I, it didn't sound like you said anything that was like massively
like, Oh, you shouldn't have said that. But I'm saying this for everyone's benefit. Cause
I've learned the hard way. So, you know, going through hard work, man, I wanted everybody
else to be healed too. And so without realizing it, I was like heartwarming everybody without
their permission. You all, not everybody wants to be heartworked. They don't. And so we have
to be really careful that, you know, we are getting someone's permission to speak into
their life. And just like, honestly, for me, I want someone to ask my permission too. I
don't want just someone like I, I told this story a couple of weeks ago, this woman said
something to me. She didn't mean harm by it, but she, she said, you're not living into
like the fullness of like, basically the calling God has for you. You missed your calling.
That's what she said to me. I think you've missed your calling. Whoa, back that up. I
didn't do that to her, but in my spirit, I'm like, absolutely not. That is not from the
Lord. I know why she was saying that I am called to preach too. I preach when I feel
like God is giving me the opportunity right now. If one day God calls me to preach all
the time, then I will, but I'm doing coaching and I love it. I know I'm anointed to do this
God's grace and his favors on me. And so I don't have to receive that from somebody,
but so often people will say things without even like asking, Hey, or like check in that
with the Lord. And again, not that that's what you were doing, but that we would always just
be kind of more cautious because the words that we speak are bringing life or death,
same thing from those other people. So in this situation that you're talking about,
it sounds like in friendships and male relationships, you're attracting people
that you're not equally yoked with. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. And I can make,
I can get deeper conversations at a hall, at a, at a, at, at Walmart with somebody like running,
buying shampoo, then people that I actually know for a while, because these people I've known for
three, four or five years, they're not just random people. I decided, Hey, you're not,
you know, but you know, it's like something, cause I, I just, I observed something. And I,
sometimes I talk to myself, I lowered, why did you give me that sensitivity? I'm trying to shut
up. I want to shut up. I want to shine the people with some people receive it well. And they say,
thank you. And some people are like, no, thank you. I don't think it's always. Okay. So here's
the thing. Yes. I think it would be really good for us to all. And I pray this a lot. God, give
me discernment to know when I should speak and when I shouldn't, but here's the other thing.
I just heard the Lord say jealousy here too. So I think what's going on is there's some
jealousy in that dynamic with that friend. And I would just encourage you to forgive her
come out of agreement with you said I've never been able to, but then you didn't finish the
sentence, but I think it's okay. And you don't have to, but I want to encourage you to come
out of agreement and alignment with the statement. I've never been able to whatever that.
The end of that statement is, um, long-term relationships with friends that are like,
well, no, um, friendships that I can. Yeah. Like real, real friendships. That's like real. Yeah.
That goes back and forth with that lie. Cause that's the enemy lying to you. And even though
it has been hard and you've encountered this more than once, it's no different in my mind.
I was married before I went through divorce that didn't go well. I dated another guy.
He was an addict and drank like, like closet alcoholic. You always so bad.
And then I dated the girl's dad, three guys in a row, bad, bad, bad.
Okay. But if I would have just partnered with, I'm never like, I was starting to believe my
picker was broken. I said that to a counselor. Cause she asked me, why do you feel like you
need to come in? I think my pickers broken. I started healing. I went there, did the work.
I came into hard work. I did other things. Here's why I'm saying.
this. If I agreed with it and partnered with, I'm never going to get this right.
I can't ever attract anybody good. I can't pick good people. Then, then I think I would have,
things would have turned out way differently. But when I started partnering with God,
thank you for healing me. God, thank you for growing me and helping me recognize when there's
red flags, even in friendship. I tended to attract people that operated in narcissistic
tendencies and sociopathic stuff, men and women. Do you know, literally God pruned three
friendships out of my life because they also operated in those similar things.
I'm a big giver. I tend to attract takers in the past. Now I'm learning that if they come my way,
I don't got to let them in here. I've learned how to have a gate when I need to have a gate
and to have a doorway when I need to have a doorway. So you all get to choose as well.
And so I want to encourage you, pray for those friendships, come out of agreement with that lie,
you know, forgive that, that woman for reacting instead of responding in love and just believe
that God has better for you in the days ahead. And I'm not trying to minimize it because that's hard.
It's hard when we go through stuff like that, but I do think that God's going to help you.
It sounds like you have a genuine heart to love and to help people.
And I think God's going to honor that. So just keep moving forward. Keep believing for something
to be different in the days ahead. I'm going to go ahead and pray us out ladies. We're at 10 11.
I got to close this out. This has been such a great night. I hope you all are continuing to
learn a lot. Remember to come in the group, share with us what, what God is saying to you and let
us communicate with you there as well. Father, thank you so much for all the healing that's
happening tonight. God, we thank you for all the ladies, the, the, um, connections divinely that
you're making in their hearts, their minds, their bodies, their spirits, their souls, that you would
help them to hear clearly what your spirit is saying, God, we just ask you to place the balm
of Gilead upon everyone and that you would just, um, yes, Lord, just comfort them and, and rub the
salve of your healing waters and your healing anointing upon them. God, that you would transform
them by the renewing of their minds, that all old things have passed away and behold, everything
is becoming new in you. God, we thank you that you are doing a new thing in our lives, that you would
ask us, can we perceive it? God, you're bringing the streams in the, in the desert places and the
rivers and where there's been a wasteland, God, that there's nothing dead when you're around. So
Lord help us to receive your love and to walk in that more every single day. And we just thank you
and praise you for all the wins that we've already experienced. Help us to celebrate our wins
and to receive all the good that you have for us in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. God bless you
all. I'll see you all in the group. Have a good night, everyone. Bye-bye.