All right, ladies, we've got, do I still have, I still have 11 of you on.
It is Tuesday, August 19th.
This is your one o'clock check-in.
It's so good to see you all.
Okay, awesome.
Sandra Grace, you're Sandy Palmer.
Awesome.
Sandra Palmer.
Perfect.
Y'all, do y'all realize we have a lot of Sandys, Sandys and Sandras.
And I was just going over all of this and I'm like, I hope I don't start merging them
like trying to figure out like who's who and who's got what situation.
So I definitely was looking over that and I definitely want to unpack if you're available,
the situation that you are having surface.
So that's good.
Awesome.
Laura is going to the retreat.
I'm so excited.
Yes, all of her events should be on her website.
Ladies, make sure that you're checking out our resource page because that's going to
have a lot of information.
I did just check it out.
I don't see the anniversary party on there.
So I'm going to actually, let me make a note right now to reach out to the team and just
ask about that and see if we are making sure that we're putting it up in our love story
accelerator where you ladies are at as well.
Sam, so good to see you.
Welcome.
It's your first time.
You're in the Dallas Fort Worth area as well.
Me too.
Where in Dallas?
I just moved here in January.
So I have an apartment right by SMU in Lower Greenville.
In where?
Lower Greenville, SMU area.
SMU, SMU.
It's like in Dallas.
In Dallas.
Okay.
See, I'm in the North, like the North side of Dallas.
So like Frisco, Little Elm.
Yeah.
You're North of me by about 45 minutes.
Yeah.
I know.
Like that was the one thing when I first moved here, I'm like, oh my goodness, Dallas is
like two hours away from Dallas.
It takes forever to get anywhere in Dallas.
The traffic is horrible.
Yeah.
And then we've got the World Cup coming in 2026.
So watch out.
Traffic's going to get worse.
What?
Yeah.
I heard about that recently.
That's probably going to be in the Frisco area, isn't it?
Probably.
Yeah, because we got the Frisco Star, all of that stuff.
Oh, Lord.
They better get this construction fixed.
My husband's always like, oh, Florida traffic is horrible.
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
Dallas traffic is worse.
But he worked from home for a really long time.
And now I like push him out to go to the office.
He gets more done that way.
So now he's getting a little taste of it and our kids are no longer homeschooled.
So we have to get out in the traffic every week.
All right.
Enough about that.
It's so good to have you ladies here.
I know we're like 10 minutes, like now coming up on 10 minutes, but I want to introduce
myself.
I'm Carla Johnson.
I am one of your last year single dating heartwork coaches here in Love Story Accelerator along
with Ebony.
She does the evening ones.
I do the afternoon ones.
We tag team.
So I do want to let you ladies know if you can't make the evening call, definitely watch
it in replay.
And then if you're ever watching the evening call and you can't make this one, watch this
replay.
And if you can't make either, watch both replays.
And the reason I say that is because this is where we are going to take all your questions.
They can be dating questions.
They can be artwork questions.
They can be all sorts of things like what is God revealing to you?
Questions about the content.
Anything.
Okay.
That's what we're here for.
We're here to be your like wing woman.
We're here to be your cheerleader.
All sorts of stuff.
And then I always share with you ladies, I will be your number one cheerleader, but I
will also be your girlfriend that will tell you what you need to hear, not always what
you want to hear.
Okay.
My ladies that have been here for a little while know what I mean.
And I promise it's not scary.
We're here about getting breakthrough and helping you unlock what God has for you in
your love story, but not just your love story.
Like what is God doing in your life in general?
One of the biggest blessings of this community was that it grew my intimacy with the Lord
tremendously.
And there were so many blessings that came from this community.
The husband was just the cherry on top.
And then this community just continues to pour in and bless me significantly just by
being able to share.
the wisdom and knowledge that I've gained.
A lot of times when I'm sharing things with you,
it actually helps me as well with what's going on in my life.
That's why I also want to encourage you ladies,
check out Supernatural Saturday.
It will change your life every week, I promise you.
Definitely make sure that you're listening to that as well.
Do I have anybody else new besides my girl Sam here in the Dallas area?
Is anybody else brand new?
I see Helen, Megan, and Kim,
I'm guessing you have questions and then I know Sandra,
I'm going to have her jump in the seat too because she's got a lot of
good stuff and we want to help her get some breakthrough as well.
Yes, Mary, deeper intimacy, yes.
Mary, is this your last call with us before you shift over?
Yeah. I know I didn't want to and I was like,
oh Lord, I don't want to,
but I do have a sense that I'm going,
time, it's time.
It's time, it is,
and you're going to love it over there.
I know as much as Ebony and myself,
we love it when you-all are here.
It does get us a little sad when we have to see you go,
but it actually makes our heart really joyful too because believe it or not,
I still see what's going on in phase 3.
When you-all post in phase 3,
I still have eyes on you.
I may not always be able to respond because I have a lot of work in here to do,
but I do try my best to keep up-to-date with you-all.
Is it Ayla?
Am I pronouncing that name right from Florida?
You can unmute. I don't want to mispronounce your name.
Yes, it's Ayla.
It's what?
Ayla.
Ayla. Okay, perfect.
I will make note of that so I don't keep making a mistake.
I think I responded to you in the app and you had questions about dating as a single mama.
Yes. Thank you.
Well, I was a single mama,
so I have feedback on that.
Make sure you put your hand up so that we can dive into that as well.
When I get ready and take questions,
before I do, let's do some activations for this week.
I know we have gotten a little off course on those activations.
I definitely want to make sure that you ladies are watching Supernatural Saturday.
Make sure that you're doing that.
For this upcoming week,
I'm actually going to read something that I saw Jackie post today on her social media.
It really, really spoke to me and something that I see
frequently in our community here.
It really was on my heart to utilize this because it's just really good.
Today, Jackie posted, it says,
healthy attraction asks, how do they treat me?
Obsessive attraction only asks,
how do they make me feel?
Ladies, we're females.
We have all the feelings.
I noticed that often is that we
typically will go off of our feelings and our emotions,
which is not a bad thing.
Feelings and emotions are God-given.
But we have to remember is that feelings aren't always fact.
When you ladies are posting in the community and you're on
these dates and things are starting to surface,
we have to be mindful of what our thoughts are and what
our feelings are and really spend time with Holy Spirit in that.
Now, I'm going to read what she actually posted.
That was her little photo thing.
I don't know what I'm saying.
But she said, here's the truth.
Your feelings can lie to you.
They can be rooted in past trauma,
unmet means, or toxic patterns you've normalized.
That's why judging a relationship by butterflies alone is dangerous.
This is not to scare you,
it literally is just to get you thinking as when things surface.
Because if you ladies are new here,
if you go into the app and you see the Ask the Coach questions,
and you read what our responses are,
oftentimes myself and Ebony are going to ask you deeper heart things.
Where do you think this is surfacing?
That's just to get you thinking,
are you responding from a trauma or are you responding in?
how God is showing up and that being God-defended and God-protected okay so
instead of looking at their behavior okay because that will happen ladies
these men they don't have they don't have coaches they don't have a Jackie
they don't have a Carla they don't have an Ebony so sometimes they don't get it
right y'all my husband didn't get it right you know my husband when with
questions and told me some of his trauma and I was just like okay I didn't hold
it against him though I kind of was like okay I need to put up some boundaries
here I need to make sure that I'm checking my heart and then I'm not
getting pulled into his trauma I also to make sure I'm not pulling him into my
trauma as well because we were strangers we're just getting to know each other
and so I had to pace it accordingly okay and that's why I utilize this group
even when I met someone that seems wonderful I had to make sure that I was
you know coming to community and making sure that my heart was in check and I
was going to the Lord I was spending time with the Lord you know really
seeking him you know and being open and having my hands open to whatever it is
that God wanted to do okay so instead this is instead of looking at their
behavior look at this do they honor your boundaries they may not honor your
boundaries right out the gate y'all because they don't know your boundaries
okay now red flags for me is if they're rude and talking about sex they're
demeaning okay like if they're if that's showing up that's to me that's a red
flag again come to the community let us know how they're responding and myself
and Ebony will let you know if that's a red flag or not okay if they're you know
just yeah they're just not respecting boundaries whatsoever so they might push
a boundary but are you putting up a like then are you communicating what that
boundary is and if you after you do that are they respecting it they might say
that they respect it and then a week later they kind of show up doing the
same thing again that would be like mmm I don't like that you might have to like
reaffirm your boundary and see if they're gonna keep trying to push on it
okay so do they honor boundaries do they show up consistently now when you're in
level one and level two that is going to look a little different okay they may
have we don't know where they're at in their life they're still strangers we're
still learning to get to know them but that's why come here we'll kind of help
you pace through that so do they show up consistently or they like chat in your
ear off for a week and then all of a sudden they like go MIA and then two
weeks later they pop back up again and then they're going full throttle again
and then all of a sudden they cut and run again like those that's not
consistency okay now if something comes up for the first time and they kind of
like disappear like you might subtly reach out but we're not gonna anxiously
attach and keep like pushing okay let them take that lead as long as you've
let them know that you're interested okay do their actions match their words
ladies everyone puts their best foot forward okay their words are gonna say
oh I'm this I'm this I'm this okay art you need to pace it okay before you
start getting head-over-heels all right oh he says he loves God and he goes to
church and he does all these things and you know he wants to have a relationship
centered on the board just his actions show that okay I'm saying that because
my son's father showed up in that way he had all of the right words and then
the actions kind of started crumbling and I didn't see it because by then I
had already invested myself I crossed physical boundaries I then got pregnant
y'all so now I'm pregnant with a kid and this guy is showing all sorts of red
flags I didn't want to see him though because I was in a situation okay so
that's why we talked to you ladies about pacing it don't put the cart
before the horse okay really see do their actions match their words and then
do you feel safe being your full self with them that's important okay and it
takes typically a couple dates for you to kind of like feel comfortable I mean
we get those like
first date, sometimes second date jitters. All right. Allow
that process to naturally happen. Okay? We don't have to
have all the butterflies out the gate on that first date. How
did they show up? Okay. So love isn't about how someone
activates your nervous system. It's about how they care for
your heart. All right. So that was Jackie's post today. It
starts thinking, come to the community. I want to hear what
qualities and characteristics do you find attractive in men? So
before just listing them off, I really want you to spend this
week. Go out and get to know men. Smile at them. Ask them
for help. How do men show up? Observe them. You might not even
have to see them and they may not even have to interact with
you. Watch them. How do they interact with other people? And
what's attractive about it? All right. Look for the gold. Men
are gold, just like we're gold. And I know I've shared this
before with ladies in here several weeks ago, I asked a
question. I asked some of you ladies, do you like men? Some of
us struggled with that, because we've been hurt by men. God
wants to come and redeem that. God didn't want you hurting. God
created man and woman together. Right? All the way back in the
day, God wanted us to be men. Right? And so if you haven't
watched Divine Feminine yet, you'll be in for a treat. It's
one of my favorite videos. So if you're brand new and you haven't
seen that, no, don't rush to it. Don't rush through those videos.
But you'll hear Jackie talk a little bit about the Divine
Masculine as well. And so I want you ladies searching what makes
a man a Divine Masculine man. Those are the qualities and
not, you know, and you're looking for fruit. Does that
make sense? Yes, Laura, I totally, totally get it. You
know, I think a lot of women here would relate. You know,
when we've been hurt by men, when you know, there were empty
promises, all sorts of things, maybe our fathers weren't there
for us, you know, all sorts of things. And so God wants to
deem that and that's why this process of dating for discovery
is that you're not just discovering what you like about
men, but you're actually even discovering more about
yourself. And God's going to start showing you areas where he
wants to continue to heal your heart. Dating will do that. And
it's nothing to be scared of. But it's actually like, it's an
invitation. And when you can work through that, ladies, I
will tell you, it will bring so much more fruit to your
marriages to, you know, spend time don't, don't, don't ignore
God's invitation to work on your heart in this in this season as
well. And I know a lot of you came out of phase one out of
heartwork. You're like, okay, the hard work is done. Yes and
no. Okay, artwork you never graduate from. Okay, you just
get upgrade. And they're good. They're really good. I promise.
So something to keep in mind. All right. So be activating that
this week. I want you ladies showing up in our community and
letting us know what experiences you're having with men where
you're seeing the gold. What is your Heavenly Father wants you
to see about how he designed man, not the curses view of man,
but God's divine purpose for man. Okay. And that can probably
start helping break down some of those heart boxes and really
start allowing you to open yourself up to the idea of
dating because I know this dating thing. Whoo. I don't know
about you all. But when I started doing it freaked me out.
I had to work through some stuff. It took me a little a
little time. But I'm here to tell you, like, there's the
other side of it. And I promise you'll you'll get there. Okay.
So let that be an encouragement to you. All right. For those of
you that weren't maybe on I didn't click record quite early
enough. But if you jumped in a little last
here, I was sharing, you know, I joined this community five years ago, just about five
years ago.
So when Jackie's celebrating the five years anniversary, that's when I kind of was onboarded
and into this community.
And y'all, it took me about a little, a little over two years until I actually met my husband.
Okay, it doesn't have to happen that, you know, it can happen super fast, but if it
push back a little bit, we're going to ask you hard questions, but I don't want you to
get discouraged if, you know, you've been in here for like, Oh, I've been in here for
six months.
Oh, I've been in here, you know, a year.
Oh, I've been in here two years, y'all.
I was there.
I was like, I've been in here two years.
Where is he?
I promise God's timing is absolutely perfect because if I would have met my husband, like
right when I joined this program, or even a year after I was in this program, I probably
wouldn't have accepted the invitation.
I wouldn't have been ready for him.
My heart was not ready then.
One, he was in Texas and I was in Florida and y'all, I was like, my non-negotiables,
I'm not moving.
Ladies, I live in Texas now.
My heart had to be open and I really was like, okay, whatever God wants, I just need that.
Like I had to release it.
I had to supernaturally surrender and y'all, I was stubborn and I know some of you in here
probably are stubborn too, all right?
So I was stubborn and it took me a little longer to let God like take the wheel, right?
We have that song, Jesus take the wheel, Carrie Underwood.
Well, I was like, oh yeah, Jesus take the wheel and I'm like, nope, I want it back.
Nope, give it back to me.
So I know some of you are very similar like me, okay?
If you're not, that's amazing.
Keep giving that wheel up and don't take it back.
I have a lesson or two to learn from you for sure because even now, sometimes I'm like,
no, but I need it, I need the wheel.
So I hope that gives encouragement to you ladies, but let's go ahead and dive in.
We got about 45 minutes for questions.
I am going to take Sandra, are you available to kind of come on, like what's happening
now that you've spent some, a few days with the Lord?
What's kind of being revealed to you?
Can you hear me?
Yes, I can.
Okay.
I can't tell if I'm visible.
Okay, there I am.
I've just been working it out with the Lord.
I've talked to some people that I'm close to that I trust, like as far as like people
that have been praying into it and praying with me.
And at this point, I'm just letting it go and trying to just trust God.
I still have a lot of disappointment, but I'm just trying to trust the Lord and His
direction and take my hands off.
I've just had a lot of disappointment in this area of feeling, I mean, I've, like I shared
in my post, I feel like over, you know, I've learned to hear the Lord's voice very well
over the years, but I just am a little confounded.
Yeah.
At 49, I'm still in this position.
I just don't, I'm like, do I hear you?
I don't know.
I'm just a little confused.
And what's kind of speaking to me right now is when we have those questions of, you know,
contradiction, like, I don't know if I hear you.
Do you think that that's from the Lord?
Is God a God of confusion?
No, He's not.
No.
So where do you think that's coming from?
Oh, it's probably coming from me.
So, yeah, we just have to, and that was one thing, I'm, oh, I got Holy Spirit chills right
now.
That was one thing that stood out to me, like when I was reading your post, and I've read
through it a couple of times, I'm reading through it again right now, where what was
on my heart was some of the things that you are saying that I'm wondering if it's blocking
it a little bit, because your alignment is a little off.
And what I mean is like, I'm not good at picking.
Oh, I don't feel that way so much now.
That's how I started my journey.
Okay.
That was part of my testimony of coming to the Lord.
That was like 25 years ago.
Okay.
And I've, that's how I felt, you know.
I just released it to the Lord that he would get to pick.
And it's been over the last few years
that I felt like the Lord has told me I get to pick.
But obviously, yeah.
Okay, that was, I'm hoping you get to partner.
Ladies, you get to partner with God.
He's gonna give you the choice too.
That's what free will is all about.
And he's not gonna give you scraps.
And I think that's why I asked you originally,
do you believe that your father is a giver of good gifts
and that you deserve good gifts,
not because of what you do or don't do,
just because he's a good father?
Yeah, I'm working through that.
I feel that, I do believe that,
but just this area of my life has been pretty disappointing.
Are there any things, so this is where
this heartwork piece can come in,
is you believe that in certain areas,
but maybe you don't believe it in another area.
So we gotta get to what past memories
are you holding onto for things that happen
or beliefs or lies that entered
in those hurts and those traumas?
And then you need to go to the Lord,
okay, but what are you speaking to me about this?
And again, ladies, like it doesn't have to be easy,
it just has to be worth it, okay?
Jackie says that a lot,
and I'm telling you that's from the Lord, okay?
Like everything in life isn't just gonna come easy.
We have trials and tribulations.
It just has to be worth it.
And so when we recognize those areas
where we're maybe having responses from our past
or doubts or fears, or we're aligning with this,
I'm not enough, I'm not good enough,
I wasn't chosen, I'm always overlooked.
Those are the thoughts that we have to hold captive.
Those are old patterns
and we're trying to break those patterns.
It doesn't mean that all of a sudden,
like we've done this heartwork
and those things are gonna go away.
Those still come and they'll creep in.
Now we get to utilize these heartwork tools
to recognize them sooner rather than later,
and then take them captive
and remind ourselves what's God's truth here.
And start looking for what God is doing
and not where you were at before.
Does that make sense?
So that's where I want,
so this thought process of,
I think you were sharing about a guy
that you met on missions and you were torn back and forth,
and then you felt like God was pointing you,
no, this isn't him.
And then all of a sudden, like a few years later,
you see that he's married with kids, right?
Well, there was a process to that, yeah.
I knew that was, I prayed for him to find that.
Because I knew the Lord said no to me.
Of course we do, but it's not gonna sting.
Oh no, it did not feel good.
Yeah, it's gonna sting a little bit.
So that's what I just want you to press in
even a little more, just what past memories,
like where did this feel similar?
I mean, maybe we go back to our childhood.
Maybe that first time we felt this way
was back in our childhood.
And maybe it's that invitation
that the Lord wants to highlight to us
because he's gonna come in and he's gonna redeem
some of those past hurts and traumas.
And he's gonna reveal where he was in those moments
and what his truth is,
not what the enemy used to lie to us in those moments.
Does that help, Sandra?
Sorry, I was looking at Laura's name.
Does that help?
I think, I definitely feel like
I've been sitting with the Lord more.
I really felt I got some actual deliverance yesterday.
Well, actually this just within the last couple of days,
but it does, I know where it's happened before
as far as what I've shared a little bit about
like just releasing things when the Lord's asked me to.
Because I obviously want what he has for me.
Have you done-
I don't-
Go ahead, sorry.
Yeah, I've done the forgiveness of like,
I've walked through the forgiveness with even the Lord,
just things that I've had in my heart
where I felt like he let me down and-
Yeah.
And I've walked through that, through this process, and also recently.
And, but I just, I like, as far as back before, even then, I don't know, like, I'm like, where,
what could that be? Maybe it is. Maybe it is there. And I just haven't actually looked that far back.
Yeah. Well, I don't want you to get caught up in, in all of the past. Okay. I mean,
it's good to look back there, but I'm also sensing Holy Spirit is also wanting me to
you. Be in the here and now enjoy life now. Right. And that's, that goes for all of you ladies.
Like while you're waiting, like, not like, and I hate to, I hate to use the word weight,
like while you're preparing it there, while you're preparing for your spirit mate,
your life doesn't have to be on hold. You know, Ebony, if you've ever heard,
been on one of Ebony's calls like Ebony will share with you. And then she's,
she's done this activation with the ladies before where she's like, ladies enjoy your
single life. Like start, you know, roll over in your bed because at some point
there's going to be someone there and you're not going to have your bed all to yourself.
And I can, can, you know, share that. I, I got testimony y'all like it's different.
So enjoy your life and you're here and now, and enjoy those moments. And, um,
I, I'm like being drawn to you right now because I, like, I remember and recall
where I was at when I was single and I was a single mom. And it was really important for me
and my here and now to enjoy my son in that moment, because when I got married and gained
some more children, I never like, that was, that was part of the past that I'm like, I enjoyed it
in the moment because now it's different. And it's, it's bittersweet. It's like, I sometimes
look back and you're like, Oh, those were such good moments, but I'm so thankful for what I have
now. Okay. And so be in the present moment as well. Still go out and live life, enjoy life,
go do things with friends, family, all sorts of things. All right. What I really want to encourage
you ladies is don't allow the dating to consume your life. We want you out dating, but we don't
want it to get to the point where it's all that's on your mind. Cause that will get overwhelming,
especially ladies. Like if you're like, Oh, if this online dating thing, I like, and you're
constantly having to swipe and message and all that, it will get overwhelming. You have to
balance it. You have to give yourself boundaries on the dating. All right. We don't want you working
it like a job. It, it, it needs to be enjoyable. And if it's not, then come here, let's figure out
why it's not enjoyable. And let's try to help give you some tools and resources and some boundaries
that will help make it more enjoyable. Okay. Kathy, you had she's, she's got a long distance
relationship. Not really. I mean, it's long distance. She's level one, right? You haven't,
or have you had a video call with this man? No, that'll be like, next we have, we've had
a couple of chats. One was 30 minutes. He just, I feels to me like he's trying to rush
kind of like I was rushed before. So I'm kind of having PTSD from Bob. He's rushing
to, I mean, like, I feel like we have a connection and I'm like, talk to him for
30 minutes. He was wanting to know what my love languages are. And I'm like, yeah, stop. I mean,
I just, I did the, I just told him, I said, you know, I haven't had a serious relationship,
but over 10 years, I'm, you know, the love language thing. I'd love to dig,
dig into that again. I said, I'm not even sure what they are now. I presume they're the same,
but I don't, I don't feel comfortable sharing that yet. So I, you said, Hey, I'm not sharing
that. He just said, I can tell you, cause it was just yesterday. Okay. And then he keeps sending
me pictures of him as a younger man, like with a muscle shirt on and stuff, because I can tell
they're not normal. Cause I'm 65 and he's 61 and he's got gray hair now, but he's a very attractive
man. So that always bothers me. He just said, I mean, is it significantly younger? Like if he's
how old did you say he is? Well, he's 61. So for me, no, it's not, he's fine. He's got younger
children. They're like 18 and 20. So he started pretty late. So my son is 30, you know, and I
started late, but, and that's fine. He's, he is more than happy to move. He's looking for his
wife. He was on arc. I said, how did you find arc? He said, he Googled it and found a Christian
dating site. So he's actively a Christian. I don't know where he stands and any of that.
So he would just said, he goes, I really enjoy talking with you and I'm looking forward to
talking again. I would like to think there's a connection that is forming, but I guess time will
tell. It'd be nice to be able to meet you sometime soon. So I didn't know if that meant in person or
by video.
Got a video. I've got to figure out the video because I'm 65 and I've got to figure out if we can do zoom or he doesn't have an iPhone. So should I become a friend on Facebook so that we could message that way.
I'm just trying to figure that out.
Um, I would, I would suggest zoom
Okay, because we have, I mean, everybody has a free version of zoom. And the cool thing about zoom, I think it's still the same is you can set up a zoom link, like a meeting link, right? I I'm correct me if I'm wrong for any of you ladies, but I think you're only allowed to have a 40 minute call, which is perfect because you don't want to be on these calls for more than an hour.
All right. And then, um, and he doesn't have an iPhone. Okay. Um,
So like, I'm on zoom now, but I'm on my iPad, but I don't physically know how to look into the camera. Is this in the camera because there's a little dot here. And that's how
Can you see yourself?
I can see myself. Yeah. But when I see myself now I look like I'm looking to the side.
And I know I do that too. And then I sit here and I'm always looking around at all you ladies.
And I don't really have a good way to do it on a computer because I don't have a camera on a computer that I could use.
Well, and just remember, like when you're on zoom, like right now we have, how many do we have on where there's, there's 16 of us on. So you're probably your attention is probably drawn between a lot of different people. So you are going to look, but if his face is there, it's just going to be his face.
Right.
And so it will, it will look a little easier. Okay. And then, yeah, the little dot is your camera.
Okay, definitely shared. So if you're looking into that, but I'm a person where I'm like looking because I'm looking at you right now.
And so that's where my focus is, but it might not look like I'm looking at you, but I am. Okay, so just keep that in mind. Don't, don't, don't put so much emphasis on that.
But you can just, you know, set up your own zoom link. I don't know, since now that we're on
I'll have to Google that. I can Google that. I've seen videos. I'll just, I can research it. It's just, yeah.
And then you just send it to him and then you send him the password and then he can jump on. You guys just schedule a time. I would definitely suggest that. One thing that I will say that I feel necessary to share.
When men are looking for wives and they're marriage minded, they
It may feel exhilarated. It's just really important to communicate. Hey, I, I'm really flattered that you're really excited.
I need to take this a little slow. If that would be okay. Can we just slow the pace down a little bit. I really have been enjoying getting to know you.
I want to continue to get to know you. I agree. I would love to get to meet you soon. How about we set up a video chat and we do that for a little while. And then if we still feel like, you know,
We'd like to get to know each other more than maybe we can look at our calendars and set something up for the future to meet in person within like the next three to six weeks.
Right. Well, he is in North Carolina and I'm in Kansas. So, and I've got a trip going to Savannah, Georgia in October, so I don't really
Have a bunch of freedom to just jump on a plane and go meet him.
Nor if he comes here. I don't want to turn into the situation like I had with Bob for two days.
When you're when you're in Savannah. How far away is he from Savannah.
I don't have any idea. I didn't haven't looked at that yet.
Um, I mean, he might be able to come down there. I'm just going to be, you know, I just, I hate to give up my vacation time with my girls to meet a guy, but I guess I could, you know, for a day.
Well, and that, but that would actually be perfect. And then you wouldn't not necessarily. I mean, I'm talking about your situation where Bob before like all your time and consumed all your time. Guess what, if you're on vacation with your girls, you get to have a boundary.
Right. I am on vacation with my girls, but I'd be open for us, you know, meeting for an hour or two, if you'd be willing to drive, depending on how far that drive is, maybe you can meet halfway.
If maybe he's four hours away, you drive to, he drives to you guys spend an hour or two together and then you drive back and you're only cut in half of a day.
And then that's that, like your purpose of being there is to be on vacation with your girls.
Right.
And then I have to rent a car and all that. Cause we're not going to have, I don't know. I don't know. I'll think about it.
Again, we don't have to have all the plans right ahead. Again, you can, you can throw ideas out there.
It's just about getting ideas, seeing what works for the two of you. If it doesn't work for you, then you can share that.
Um, how do you pace that? How do you know how to like today I asked, we'll chat today, but should I just, I mean, I just feel like we're so over the board talking about everything.
I almost feel better for me if we would just hone in on a couple subjects and talk about those each time and just be.
Like I said, long distance is going to accelerate things a little quicker.
So it's going to feel, okay, it's going to feel exhilarated.
So now my question to you is what's the anxious thoughts that are coming up?
It's just that I'm projecting what happened before.
I'm just working through that.
It's okay.
So that's what I want you to focus on.
Okay.
Remind yourself that was a past situation.
I learned from it.
This is what I'm going to do better this time.
You're going to work on.
You've said a lot of great things.
I've got a lot of great notes and I've got some questions for him now that instead of
being, why are you sending me pictures of yourself like 10 or 15 years ago?
I was like, gosh, where'd you take that at?
Where was that?
Was that vacation?
When was that?
You know, instead of, so all that you've said already is helping me say, okay, let's find
a better way to rephrase and discover.
Yes.
This is the process too, but yeah, I mean, going back to the long distance again, ladies
don't, don't be alarmed if it feels accelerated, it will probably feel exhilarated, especially
men that are, are looking for wives.
Yes.
He is.
They're excited about it.
Ladies.
My husband was like that.
He knew he wanted to get married again and I'm the type of, I was the type of girl,
like when men kind of started out that way, like let that know, like I was running for
the Hills and trust me, the first three weeks of like getting to know him, I was ready to
cut and run.
I was like, I don't know.
There's some yellow flags here.
There are some yellow flags, but Jackie's like, Carla, get off the ledge, go on a date.
Just have fun.
Get to know him.
That's it.
You're not, you know, marrying the man.
If you don't want to, you don't even have to decide if you want to marry, marry him
right away.
And so I had to practice, you know, you know, holding boundaries.
If he wanted to share something with me, you know, thanks for sharing that and then move
on to another topic.
I had to do all that stuff.
Okay.
But my husband knew he wanted to be married and he does too, and he couldn't move.
So he's not opposed to moving.
He's already said it's more important to find a wife and move to her and yeah.
And so, you know, spend time, let's, let's not put the cart before the horse.
Okay.
Spend time getting to know him, look for the gold, right?
What qualities do you like about him?
Okay.
Cause all of that other stuff, believe it or not, God will sort it out.
Right.
I mean, I can tell you my story.
I didn't want to move.
And then I met this man and we were getting to know each other.
We decided to be exclusive and I'm like, okay, we're exclusive knowing that we're both looking
for marriage.
What's this even look like when we live in two different places, right?
We have kids, you know, in my mind I was like, well, his dad is here.
His children don't have a mother, so he might be more apt to come here because it's not
like there's parents sharing or anything like that.
I, my son saw his dad, but we didn't have parent sharing like by the courts, but he
was still in his life, but not significantly.
Okay.
And so turns out once we started getting to know each other and we talked with, then we
started talking about like, okay, what's this going to look like?
My husband was like, well, I want to stay in Texas.
I would want you to move here.
And I was like, whoa, okay.
You know, myself did not want to do that, but I had a weird piece about it.
And I'm like, okay, I need some time to process this.
Y'all the next day, my son's father called me up to tell me he was moving out of the
state.
I didn't do any of that.
God's like, girl, I already got you.
I've already got this worked out.
Oops, sorry.
That was my alarm.
My smoke detector batteries low.
So yeah, like God was so involved in those details.
Like he showed me confirmation and I didn't have to work it.
I didn't have to stress about it.
God just opened doors and let that happen.
Okay.
I'm not saying that it's going to naturally happen that easy.
There may be some things that you'll have to process through, but I just want you to
keep that in mind.
I hope that does not keep going off.
Because I don't think I can hear it.
I can't hear it on my end.
You can't hear it.
Oh, praise the Lord.
We're good there.
Oh my goodness.
That is so loud.
It's funny because we were talking with a couple earlier this week about...
alarm detectors going off because the batteries and like joking about it and
I'm like oh my word the fact that it just literally happened right now so
that's a funny story for me to tell my husband and these people we're talking
to but um so yeah just keep that in mind you don't I know it's really easy to
project and get worried and ahead of ourselves like the what-if spend time
in the present spend time in the moment okay come here let us know what what's
happening and we'll help guide and direct you and seeing you know is if
God's trying to reveal something to you if he's trying to you know get you to
look at a certain area and to heal we'll be here for that okay you're welcome
absolutely is Allah still on here hey girl
so yes single mama it's a lot isn't it feels that way it is okay so tell me
like what what's your biggest concern right now at this point in life probably
finding time and not a lot of people want to date single moms for their more
marry them yeah I can relate to that I want to challenge you a little bit okay
you cool if I challenge you a little bit if I can do it I'm here with you
okay just know I'm like I've been there okay and if you are hesitant about it
like I'm not gonna be offended by it we're gonna we're just gonna help walk
you through this okay and if you need time you need time that's totally okay
as well I fully relate to this this thought that guys don't want to date me
because I'm a mom and I'm a single mom I want you when that thought comes up I
want you to remind yourself your spirit mate is not gonna reject you because
you're a single mom there are men out there that are kinsmen redeemers that
will love your children as their own and I say it because I have one okay
I struggle with that too and let me tell you the enemy would want to come in
and just remind me that no one wanted to date a single mom you know funny story
is that you know I'm in this community and Jackie has men in her community as
well and there was a man that was actually in my area like Sarasota
Florida it's a it's not my demographic not a lot of people in their 30s not a
lot of single men in their 30s and there was this one guy that was in her
community and she's like hey you should she get to know this guy he was he my
best friend actually knew who he was and then we go to our church like actually
my church she was coming with me and she looks over and she sees the guy at my
church I hadn't know he went to my church y'all
do you know that he didn't want to date me because I was a single mom and I was
like that made me angry y'all
but I'll tell you I could have allowed that interaction to keep me stuck but I
reminded myself that you know what God's just showing me that's not my husband
and that's okay he's helping weed out the men for me I don't have to I don't
have to go through the trouble so I know it stings I know it's frustrating but
when those thoughts come in I really want you to challenge yourself to
listen to what God's truth is he's got someone out there that's going
to love your children the way they would love their own children like my
son calls my husband dad like he's more of a dad to my son than his biological
father he spends more time with him I mean
obviously his dad's in Michigan and we're here in Texas but even when he was
living 45 minutes away from his son do you know when I was dating my husband
and he was traveling to come visit me he had been to more baseball games in
one season than his actual biological father had been in two baseball seasons
my husband
had gone to like four baseball games
in his second season of baseball
and his dad had only been to one.
And then finally, before he moved to Michigan,
he came to a second one.
My husband had already been to
double the amount of baseball games
because he showed up and he made time for him.
So I want to help you break off this
nobody wants to date a single mom.
Because that's not true, there is.
And guess what?
It only takes one.
All you need is your spirit mate.
And guess what?
He wants to date you because you have kids.
God's speaking to his heart about being a bonus father.
Maybe he's got kids too, who knows?
You know, God picked me to be my kid's mom too.
So they lost their mom in heaven, to heaven.
And God's like, you're their mom.
You know, I can't sit here and tell you
it's been an easy road, it's not.
But God is coming to redeem
and he's gonna do that for you too.
So I want to encourage you with that, okay?
If God can do it for me, he's gonna do it for you.
All right?
As far as this finding time, I get it.
Does your kids, do they see their dad?
Do you have one?
How many kids do you have, actually?
I mean.
I have three children.
Three kids, okay.
And they haven't seen their dad in three years.
Okay.
Do you have any family, friends, church community
that you can lean on?
I have church.
I don't have any family here,
but the way it is, it's just me handling it all.
Where in Florida are you?
Sarasota.
Are you really?
Yes.
Get out.
I can't.
I was so blessed to get a house last year here
from the Habitat.
We gonna get you a community to help you out with those kids
because I couldn't be a single mom
if I didn't have that community there.
What church do you go to?
Suncoast Community Church.
Okay.
Do you know my son?
My youngest son went to the Suncoast Academy there.
He's getting our first grade year.
Yes.
That's awesome.
Wow.
What a small world.
I'm getting goosebumps right now.
Cause we're gonna get,
there's so many people in that area.
And like, I mean, I've lived there for 15 years.
So we're gonna find you community
so that you can feel safe to go on dates
because your kids are gonna be cared for
and you can take a night off and go have a date.
How do you feel about that?
Does that scare you a little bit?
I would love to.
Okay.
All right.
I would love to.
Girl, give me this week to work my magic.
And we're gonna figure something out for you.
Okay?
Sound good?
So this is beyond the words.
Yes.
I did not go to Suncoast Church,
but obviously my son went to school there.
And so I probably have some connections there.
And then, do you know Church of Hope?
Yes.
That was my church for over 10 years.
And I'm telling you, there is a lot of people there.
They will pour into you.
Like, yes, absolutely.
Like some of my, I mean, I have so many good friends
that they loved my kid like their own.
Like it was a joy, honestly.
Like he has so many friends still back home in Sarasota
that when I still go visit,
like they're like, come see me, come see me.
And my son's like, I wanna go visit my friend Ashton.
I wanna go visit my friend Jack.
And I wanna go visit my friend Paxton.
Like, we're gonna, this is an answer prayer for you.
Cause that's what you need.
If there's any other single mamas on there,
start praying for God to start bringing you community
that's gonna come alongside you and help you parent
and be there for you.
Because you can't do this all by yourself.
You're not supposed to.
God, I'm a firm believer
and it takes a village to raise your kids.
I'm married and it still takes a village
for me and my husband to raise our three kids.
Y'all, like I need my.
church community, I need my kids' school community.
I can't do it alone.
I can't be my everything for my kids.
If I was my everything for my kids,
they wouldn't need a savior, y'all.
They need to know that there's other people out there
to help bear those burdens.
That's what community is all about.
And so we're gonna, you gotta start praying for community.
All right, and we're gonna,
we're gonna find your community here.
That would be great for you.
Yes, and so that, you know,
when you're meeting men and they wanna, you know,
take you out on a date,
you can call up some people and say,
hey, I got an offer to have a date.
Are there any nights this week that you're available
that you can help me out?
And we're gonna figure this out.
I know Church of Hope for a while,
and I don't know if they still do this,
and I can probably reach out
because I'm friends with the pastors and everything there.
They did Parents Night Out.
And so they would host,
the youth there would host a Parents Night Out.
So you would just drop your kids off.
And it was like $10 per kid.
And they hung out and played games.
And they had this like huge arcade in their church
and like all these fun games.
And they fed them pizza and all that stuff.
And then parents got to go like out for a couple hours.
So I know there's resources available in Sarasota for you.
And so we're just, like I said,
give me a week to figure some things out
and we're gonna get you connected to some people
so you can have some time to start dating.
My oldest kid is in high school,
so I don't really need the babysitter anymore,
but between my two jobs and three kids
and their schools right now,
it's that what makes it a little bit challenging.
Okay.
So you can leave them at home with your high schooler?
Yes, that's what I have to do
since I had no options I guess.
Gotcha.
Well, we still wanna get you community
and we wanna get you surrounded by other families.
That's important.
Yes.
Like ladies, if you have kids
or you marry in to somebody that has kids,
y'all need community.
Like-minded community is so important.
My husband and I, we ended up,
he went to a mega church here and I never,
like I was like, ah, like it was good.
I mean, I always felt Holy Spirit there,
but the community, it was hard to get plugged in.
And then God just spoke to us
that we were gonna like go to a new church.
It has been a complete blessing.
It is a small church plant.
There's like maybe over 200 people at this church,
but I've needed to lean on him so much this year
and especially for my kids.
Like it's so important,
whether you're single, married, whatever,
community is important.
And so I want you ladies to get plugged in there,
get plugged in here.
I mean, look, like I had no idea
that she lived in Sarasota, y'all.
And I saw her post and I was like, hey, I can relate.
I was a single mom too.
And I'm gonna give you some pointers.
I'm gonna help you navigate this dating
because I remember what it's like.
And y'all, she comes on
and she is from the same town that I was in.
Now, if that's not God, I don't know what is.
Ladies, let that be a God wink to every single one of you.
God cares about your love story.
This community, like you're here for a purpose.
This is a divine appointment that you are here.
I cannot tell you how many blessings
has come from this community.
And the husband is not like even the top one all the time.
I love my husband, okay?
Don't get me wrong.
Like he is a top bonus here,
but I'm telling you there's so much more.
Just lean into this community, show up, come in the app,
share your vulnerability.
You know, she was vulnerable.
She's like, hey, I'm single mom.
And like, this is hard.
I don't know how to find time.
And I'm like, girl, I got you.
I didn't know I had her as much as I actually do.
Like, but God knew, God brought her here.
Y'all.
So.
Oh, I'm like, I'm filled to the brim right now.
I've got chills.
all up and down like so like I said we'll figure some things out continue to keep me posted in the
app and like I said let me work some magic this week let me reach out to some people let me see
what we I who I can introduce you to connect you with so that you can just even just go out and
just get to know people believe it or not ladies sometimes your spirit mates are going to come from
that you know right Mary the six degrees of separation right God showed that to you right
you never know who you're gonna meet that's connected to your spirit mate
God just wants you to go out and live the life that he gave you enjoy this day right
oh all right we've got like 10-15 minutes um Meg from Chicago I know I didn't get to you last week
so I'm jumping to you and then Kim and Helen if I can get to you I will if not post in the app
Meg are you available sorry I am I'm here I cannot hear this smoke detector
y'all she sure you cannot hear it
oh my goodness okay we only hear it when you talk so yeah like if you're in the middle of
talking I can hear it like go okay ladies I'm sorry and you know like my ceilings are high I'm
like and I'm short there's no way of me reaching and my husband's at work and my six-foot son I
pick him up and we don't get home till five so I've got to listen to this thing for four hours
whoo but I'm not gonna let it distract me all right um so Meg welcome welcome welcome Helen
pickleball okay awesome um all right sorry look I'm not letting the alarm distract me but I'm
letting everything else okay all right Meg what do you got for us okay you guys ready yes okay
well I first wanted to you know I'm brand new as of last week and I wanted to really like make myself
known before I write a post and everything so that you guys know who I am and also for
accountability in my specific situation because it's a little bit different and I don't want to
go this road alone so you're not alone that's the good news we're here for you I could shake like I
get so nervous about my situation okay so I have um a friend from 25 years ago um that I have
reconnected with about six months ago so before I ever started a program and um we weren't super
great friends back then he was engaged to be I met him through uh the woman he ended up marrying
who was a loose friend of mine and our spirits immediately just sucked onto each other and we're
like oh I like you so much and he just he was somebody I was immediately at home with and safe
and same vice versa for him I didn't live in the area but every time I came home to visit
I guess he would scour the church for me trying to find out where I am and just
it was always wonderful the connections we had or when we kind of hung out never alone of course
there was never any thought to anything um you know and I had a lot of belief in him from ground
zero right he was just in some ways I'm like even if he never married me he was my person
and I just had so much belief in him and what God was going to do in his life so anyway so
that's background right so then life goes on and I move away and we're on Facebook but really don't
connect for almost 25 years because and he's married right at this time he's married he's
got kids and every time um which wasn't often I would go on his site I would just smile and just
be like Lord thank you I can see how you are doing the things that I knew you're going to do in his
life you know he's doing it God he's I'm just so happy for him right and so then a few years ago
he messaged me out of the blue I didn't write back because I thought oh it's just him being
so sweet we were both unbeknownst to me going through some really difficult life changes at
the same time which is why I didn't message back okay then about three years later God's like you
so hold on I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm just trying to this timeline when he reached out to you a few
years ago was he already divorced he was in the middle of being divorced yes okay but you did not
you didn't pick it up you were just you didn't respond back oh I hadn't and I had no idea they
were being divorced okay okay gotcha okay continue I I knew none of it and we were both I was going
through a medical retirement 20 years early due to a disability okay and I just had no no idea so
then about
Two and a half years later, God said,
you know, you haven't written him back yet.
I said, Lord, it's been two and a half years.
I mean, I look like a sucky friend at this point.
And so he's like, well, why don't you just go like
at a site?
And that's when I realized the man is available.
This man, you know, this, he's the bomb, you know,
in the spirit, he's the bomb, right?
And I'm like, oh no, I have totally messed up, God.
I said, I can't write him now.
It's been two and a half years.
And then all of a sudden he messages again.
God's like, okay, perfect excuse.
So it's like, okay, God's like, here you message.
No, no, no.
Okay, now this guy's gonna message.
No, and it took me even almost a month
after that to message him.
Okay.
And I wasn't expecting anything, you know,
just reaching out, say I care about you.
Thank you so much for your messages to me.
Really touched my heart.
And he's like, here's my number.
So, but we reconnected like as friends.
So we were never flirty.
So it's been six months now we've been talking
and we never, it didn't start off as flirty at all.
Just talking, we can talk about deep things,
stuff going on in our lives.
We can laugh, we can, you know what I mean?
We're at home with one another.
Yeah.
So during that six months,
God's had me kind of on speed dial in a lot of ways.
I've relocated back home after being gone for 20 years.
My career is gone.
My home has gone.
Everything's gone.
I've lost 40 pounds that I couldn't lose in over a decade.
Like everything is totally, I'm on warp speed.
And I'm here stuck in Chicago,
which I know is sacred, not stuck,
living with my mother right now temporarily.
And what I need to be doing,
and I'm starting to move next,
move on at next month is go down to where he is,
which is actually where I went to school for 13 years,
which is where I feel most at home.
If I'm gonna settle, I got friends down there.
Don't have really a community
or friends up here by my mother.
So, so I came home,
but he hasn't said anything like, let's get together.
He keeps asking me things like, when are you moving?
Where are you now?
So how's it going?
And so I finally said, I'm coming down.
I would love to see you.
Is that going to work?
And he said, I'd love it too.
Yes, it will work.
Yes.
Okay.
When's that gonna happen?
September 3rd through 8th is when I'm going, okay?
But he's also incredibly, incredibly busy for work.
And so I get very scared if there's red flags,
I don't notice.
Like our connection is not predictable and regular.
We may talk for 10 hours one day
and then not talk for two weeks.
Or we may talk just a little snippet.
And then a few days later, he may send me something funny
or you know what I mean?
And as I've kind of put together this pattern,
cause it is a pattern, a weird one.
I think a lot of times, like this past month,
he's been negotiating a $300 million deal.
And I'm like, what kind of guy does that?
But it's like totally stressing him out
and taking away a lot of peace, right?
He's got a lot on his plate.
And he's got a lot of responsibility.
But there's so much we have in common
about the fields we ended up in, our future vision.
He established that in our first conversation ever.
And he's like, wow, sounds like we've got a,
we're going in the same direction.
What do you think of that?
And I'm like, uh.
You're like, I think it's pretty good.
But I have no, I have no idea
because I'm a very literal person
and I have no idea what to make
of some things that are said.
And if there's red flags, if there's not red flags,
like we're at a point where he can go weeks
without talking to me.
Okay.
And like last week I reached out and I'll just say,
hey, how are you doing?
Because the one thing the Lord showed me
is be his friend, be a friend.
Are you, will he, like,
so he'll sometimes reach out to you as it reciprocated.
So it's not always you reaching out to him.
There's sometimes it's you, sometimes it's him.
Yes, but recently, but recently in the last month
it's been me reaching out first.
Okay.
And so that's scary to me.
Like, is this a red flag?
The last.
Those are not red flags.
No, these are not red flags.
These are just, maybe they're like greenish yellow.
All right.
What we need to get you to is you're going to see him
on September 3rd and then more is going to be revealed
once you spend some time with him.
Yes.
So that's actually kind of where I'm going with this.
So a couple of things.
So the last conversation we really had,
we ended up like flirting and I didn't.
And it was a joke, right?
So he said, how's it going?
Living it up?
Because it's a very sleepy time.
I said, oh, yeah, you know, I'm clubbing nightly.
It was just a joke.
I know nothing about clubbing, right?
And he's like, oh, in your mini skirt?
That's hot.
And so we just kind of devolved from there.
There's a little flirt going on.
Yep, yep.
It devolved from there.
And he's like, by the way, I'm a great dancer in this fantasy.
I'm like, fantasy?
So there were a couple of things that were said.
And he's like, so what else?
Yep, that's a little yellow.
But again, you guys have a different connection.
We have a different connection, right?
If a guy is saying that to you and you don't really know him,
that's a red flag.
Right, different, right?
Then there's a little bit more comfortability, OK?
Yes.
You have to remember, he's been married before.
Yes.
And I know that he wants a wife.
I know that, right?
And he kind of, he's like, so what else is going on in this club?
I said, well, I don't know.
Why don't you tell me?
I thought he was going to say dinner.
Oh, no.
He's like, well, there's a lot of touching happening in this club.
And so I just said, I thought, OK, God, what am I going to say?
Because I don't want to act like a prude.
I said, oh, this club is getting steamy.
So I said, maybe we better find some dinner.
Good, so you redirected it.
I shut it down.
And then I said, just so you know,
I have zero experience in clubs and what goes on in clubs.
Yes.
And so then he's like, I'm not really a club person either.
I would only ever go if we were going
to sit there and talk smack about the people we're watching, right?
But it makes me worried.
Like, did I show up?
Did I look like a skank?
Did I look like, now he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
I mean, if he doesn't, OK.
I think it's just flirting again.
And remember, he's been married.
So his level of flirting is going to be
that probably of a married man.
And I don't mind that, right?
As long as you're putting those boundaries up
and he's respecting those boundaries.
So that would be my thing.
Let's look forward to getting to see him, all right?
Because you're going to be down where you have other friends.
So you're not spending all your time with him.
Playing a date, all right?
Not alone, in public, OK?
Oh, yeah, no, don't worry.
I already know we might have a problem with hands.
So yeah, let's keep our boundaries healthy.
Let's keep them, you know, stay in public.
Like, know your limits.
Ladies, it's always important to know what, like,
at what boundary do you have that you are like, OK,
I can't cross this boundary.
Because if I cross it, then it's, you know,
it's all free for all, right?
OK?
And thankfully, I know that for me.
You know, not my pre-Jesus stage,
but my totally screwed up stage.
I know what that is.
So thank God for that.
Yeah, let's keep that.
But I get nervous.
It's OK to be nervous.
But I get nervous about, like, OK,
because I deal a lot with insecurity.
And so here I am, 48.
I have no, I mean, I've given it all up.
I've totally done the Ruth thing,
where it's like, you have left everything behind
to follow what God has for you.
And you have no idea what it is.
But like, what if I go to this date,
or just get together because we're friends,
even though we flirt and talk about everything under the sun
when we do talk.
But then when we don't talk, it could be weeks and whatever.
But he's always very attentive when we do talk.
But then.
That's not, let's just, I'm going
to tell you what Jackie used to tell me.
What if he says nothing?
What if he says nothing about seeing me again?
Do I just put it out there?
Hey, I don't want to be your pen pal.
I've loved you forever as a friend.
But you know what?
I think that there could be more here than this.
So I'm just making sure you know that I'm interested.
So you're wanting to drop that hanky, right?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I don't want to lose.
This is what I'm going to tell you,
what Jackie used to tell me.
Just go out and have fun, OK?
Let's not think about the what ifs.
My husband always tells me that.
Because I'll play the what if game.
And he's like, we're not playing the what if game.
So when you want to go down that path, just be like, OK.
Carla's husband always says, don't play the what if game.
Don't play the what if game.
I guess I get so.
OK, I'm trying to change my what ifs to even ifs.
So I go down there for five days to try to figure things out.
And then I come back here, where I'm relatively inaccessible.
And then I have to make, I don't want to rent an apartment.
I don't want to buy a home.
I just, I told God, I want to be safe.
Let's not put the cart before the horse, OK?
OK, what's the horse?
Tell me what the horse is.
This is, OK, this is looking like a.
just attachment okay you're getting ahead of yourself okay and i think you realize that all
right yeah let's just let's ground ourselves okay we don't need to ask and we're not going to start
aligning with the unaccessible well that's not true okay this is 2025 no one's really
inaccessible okay there's some way to access you okay whether it's phone social media
zoom call like driving how do i how do i not get myself in slotted into a friendship
or maybe that's just my fear that's a fear and so that's where i want you to spend time
with holy spirit like what is that fear rooted in where what does where does the
where does that feel similar where does that fear where does that where did that fear come
spend time with holy spirit and reveal okay lord what is it that you're wanting to show me right
now i'm operating in fear but you've you've yeah i mean clearly he's opened the door for this guy
to come into your life at some way shape and form we don't know what that looks like whether he's
your spirit mate or not but we have to trust that god cares enough about you and he's gonna
take you through this process and i think part that may be making this worse and i have hardly
ever uttered this out loud so when i first met him 25 years ago god spoke to me in an audible
voice about him like before a word was out of his mouth and i'm like okay and then a month later a
prophetic person came up to me and verbatim said what the lord has said to me and i said oh i
already know all that about him and that he would be a good man for me to marry i know that
and she said you know i said yeah i know and she said are you sure this isn't the man for you i
said no i'm not sure but he's marrying somebody else and i'm happy for her yeah so this story if
god's in it started 25 years ago and i have had no control in any of this but makes me so worried
that somehow i'll miss it if it's god you're not gonna miss what god has for you
we gotta let's get to the root of that belief right there
that you're gonna miss something that god has for you
because that's just not our god
all right yeah what he has for us cannot be stolen and what gets stolen must be redeemed
okay okay yep so you are in the right place we've got you you're gonna have a lot of emotions
lots of things that are going to surface it's okay it's perfectly normal okay keep
keep contact with us keep keep us in the loop okay spend time with god process the stuff
what's he revealing to you in this moment all right this is preparation period too whether
this man is your spirit mate or not yeah it's a preparation period okay yeah that the lord has
told me that like when i first got here i'm like okay god i'm stuck here at this house he's like
okay well you want things to go faster right i said yeah he goes do you have any clothes because
you just lost 40 pounds i said it's like i don't even have and i will tell you this movement this
movement when it first started five years ago jackie had the the word acceleration on this
movement and i will tell you in five years there's been acceleration in this movement
okay and people's love stories and just this community in general like so just know
like you're not alone we got you god's got you that's the important thing to remember
is that god's got you and he's bringing you in a season of preparation because he's he's got
something for you and he's not going to um let it be taken from you thanks and sorry i'm so intense
i can get really worked up about like this topic you're not you're not doing anything that i didn't
do i relate to so many of you women on so many levels you have no idea y'all could see where i
was at five years ago and two years ago and three years ago and all that stuff like oh my word so
um but ladies we are out of time i apologize um laura kim helen please put your post in the app
um mary i know this is your last one did you want to give a quick i think you said you had
quick word. I'm gonna let you release that and then we'll head out and then I will see
you ladies next week. So Mary what you got for us?
Sure it was just, God speaks to me in films and it was just something when Meg was talking
and when you're talking about the cart before the horse. Have you ever seen the film Seabiscuit?
It's a true story about a horse and I won't go into too much detail because I want to spoil
the movie but there's a part in it when they're having to train the horse at night and the
jockey can't see out of one eye, he's quite blind and he said I can't see out there and
this just makes me Holy Ghost and the trainer said it's okay because he can and that was
God just like you can't see the way but you're on you've got God's got you and he can see the way
and it was just and it oh wow I'm just feeling so.
Meg I hope you receive that I felt that that's so beautiful. Mary thank you so much for sharing.
It's been such a pleasure to get for me too and Christine misses everybody as well and she says
hi so and just yeah it's you know it's such an honor and a privilege and a blessing to me
to walk this path which with each of you ladies and you know I just thank God every day that I
get to walk on this journey alongside each of you. It blesses me tremendously more than I can even
express so just know that ladies I just adore each and every one of you. I'm here for you.
Don't be shy. Let us know what's going on if you you know didn't get to speak on today's
keep showing up on our calls post in the community all right connect with other women in this
community this it's there's so many blessings here if you receive them and you take the open
invitation but like I said before ladies it's just again an honor and a privilege to walk this
journey with you and I just I just my heart sings with so much joy every time like I see breakthrough
in each and every one of you and Mary that's definitely happened with you and it's just
awesome and don't worry I'm going to keep my eyes I keep my eyes on you ladies.
I always know how my girls are going like how are they doing?
I just want to say I was so encouraged by um Ebony's post as well that she's looking forward
to seeing my engagement on next hour. I'm not actively dating but the Lord's taken me full
circle in two areas so back to my old church back to my old gym I'm actually meeting other people
um I've a girl's just joined my work and she's a Christian and you know so we're meeting up and
we're going to socialize together as part of work and stuff and
I just yeah I'm constantly thinking six and six degrees of Kevin Bacon
of separation.
I love you all have a wonderful rest of you too don't forget to look for gold in the men
and let us know what those qualities and characteristics are that you find attractive
and what do you see attractive in men this week maybe you're just observing them maybe you're not
even interacting with them but if you want to like make eye contact smile with them like let
them help you doesn't matter what age they are all right men like to be helpers all right they
like to do that so let them do that all right and then um keep us posted okay love you ladies.