Hi everyone, welcome.
Happy Monday, everyone.
We're back for another round of heart healing.
I'm so glad to have you joining us.
If you're joining us for the first time, you've never been here for a live session before,
would love for you to let us know in the chat that you are new here.
We want to welcome you.
Sorry, you all had a little thing come up saying that note-taking was on.
I was just making sure that turned off.
Sometimes this AI stuff, I love it.
And sometimes we just got to make sure it all gets turned off.
But welcome for those of you joining us again.
You've been here before.
Welcome back.
We're so glad that you're here, not only as a part of the heart work,
but a part of the community and what God is doing in this season and the ways that
he is raising up kingdom families and marriages for such a time as this.
Kathleen and Taylor, welcome for your first time.
So glad to have you all joining us.
My name is Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the master heart work coaches in the community.
We also have Annette Lewis here with us tonight.
She is one of our peer coaches.
Sometimes you'll see her commenting as well, or Andrea.
They're both peer coaches and have done a fabulous job.
So they are joining us tonight and so glad to have her.
A couple of housekeeping things.
I don't know if you all know this, especially for our new ladies, just a heads up.
We don't allow any outside content into our group.
So when I say that, what I mean is post or content or devotions that are created by individuals,
businesses and ministries outside of last year single.
And the reason we do that is that some things seem like, okay, that's simple.
I could read that real quick and myself or the coaches and we could approve it.
But the reality is a lot of times, even when people share sermons,
we would have to sit and listen to the whole sermon in order to keep that on our page.
And we just don't have the capacity to do that.
And so we just keep that guardrail across the board.
So even on devotions or anything like that, that comes from an outside source,
that's not last year single.
If you all have posted that no one's in trouble or anything,
because a lot of times people just don't know that.
But I did want to let you all know, if you put something up in the last week
that had something like a sermon attached to it, it's always this catch 22 for me,
because some of y'all even share some really heartfelt things.
Like this is what this sermon said to me.
And there's no way for me to reach out to you directly and say,
hey, I have to take this down.
This is why.
But I did want to let you know, it is nothing personal.
And if you would like to repost what you did without the attachment,
you can absolutely do so.
And we can leave that up in the group.
So I did want to let everybody know that.
Also, a couple other things really quick for our new ladies joining us.
Best practice is to press pause on dating,
trying to meet guys while you're here in the heartwork.
And distractions are going to come,
and the enemy is going to try to bring guys your way and all of the things.
And we want to encourage you just to stay really focused.
I'm going to talk about distraction and more here in just a little bit.
So another housekeeping item I have for you all,
and I want to start by saying grace upon grace upon grace.
In the heartwork process, it's really important for y'all to extend
race to yourself and even beyond the heartwork process.
Has anyone ever felt like the Lord's just like,
hey, daughter, why are you being so hard on yourself?
Why are you being so harsh and mean when you're thinking things?
And so I want to encourage you all just be really cautious
of how you're speaking to yourself,
how you're treating yourself all of the time.
But especially in the heartwork, you want to work on self-care.
So breathing, eating really healthy, moving your bodies,
drinking a lot of water, getting plenty of rest.
I was telling the afternoon group, I went on Friday.
We are getting massages, my husband and I, every month,
once a month now to help us process stress and relax.
And y'all, I love it.
But this last time I went and I loved it too,
but I had what is called enhanced muscle therapy.
I don't know if y'all have ever done that.
It was painfully good.
But you know, what's interesting is later that day,
I started feeling some kind of way.
I was like, what's going on with me?
And I'm like really irritated by everything my husband is saying.
And that's not normal for me.
We get along really great.
And I just started really kind of assessing
because I was feeling angry, agitated, and just frustrated.
And then it dawned on me like, oh, I had it.
the deep muscle, you know, massage.
And the reason I'm mentioning this to you
is that you are in the heart work process
and God is going to be massaging your heart
during this time.
And I just want you to know one of the things
that when I looked up kind of like, oh yeah,
I know kind of, I kind of understand what's happening
when kind of those light bulbs started going off.
But I just looked up like, what are some good things to do
to get this toxins out of my body
so I can kind of come through this?
And one of the things y'all had said
was to not judge yourself for what you're feeling.
And so I just wanted, for whoever that's for tonight,
I just wanted you to know some of what's gonna come up
when you're in the heart work.
You're gonna feel tempted to judge yourself
and be harsh with yourself in this process.
I wanna encourage you to come out of alignment
with those mindsets or behaviors or thought patterns
and extend grace to yourself in this process.
All right, so I'm gonna pass it over to Nat.
She's gonna do another housekeeping for us item
and pray us in.
Okay, hello everyone.
Glad to be here with you this evening again.
Like Bethany was talking about giving yourself grace
and space and opportunity when God's massaging you.
Jackie's Supernatural Saturday actually talked about that
because it's really important to give yourself time
to process if you're just running from one thing
to the next, one thing to the next.
It's you really need the quiet and the space
and the self-care time to be able to reflect
and slow down and hear Holy Spirit.
And that's what Supernatural Saturday was on
is just preparing yourself to have the capacity
for all that God wants to give you.
I know it spoke to me and was a real blessing.
If you can't be there on Saturday mornings,
be sure to listen to the replay
and we will look forward to seeing you all there
and hope you're continued to be blessed by the time.
Okay, I'm gonna pray us in
and we'll go ahead and get started.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the privilege
that we have to be gathered together tonight
to learn and to grow.
I pray Holy Spirit that you would open our hearts
and our minds and our eyes to all that you have for us,
all that you're trying to speak in us and through us
that we would give ourselves grace
because you give us grace every day, Lord God,
and you help us in our time of need.
So tonight, especially, open the doors of our hearts,
help us to surrender control to you
and to walk in alignment and agreement
with all that you're trying to teach us
and to give ourselves the opportunity to learn and grow
and be healed and transform our hearts
into the women of God that you have called us to be.
Bless Bethany tonight as she speaks, speak through her,
and I pray that your Holy Spirit would be upon her
as she shares.
In your name I pray, amen.
Amen, amen.
Y'all, this afternoon I was,
before we go into our content,
something that I just felt led to share with you,
this really resonated for me
and I think it will also prepare us,
you know, not just for the whole heartwork journey
but for what God has for us tonight with the content.
I want you to be thinking about
what has your attention been on, even today?
And when I say that, I want you to be thinking about,
like, where has your mind gone today?
Was it somewhere that was life-giving
or was it somewhere that was life-taking
in your thought processes, okay?
And I wanna talk about our attention versus distraction.
As I was reading this afternoon,
just some things the Holy Spirit was saying to me
through some of what I was reading
was just this reminder that as God is working in us,
you guys will know this,
the enemy's always trying to oppose
everything that God is doing, okay?
So that's the simplified version
of what I'm gonna talk to you about for a few minutes.
But the other side of this
is the enemy is always wanting to pull our attention away
from faith and away from what God is doing
and put our attention onto what he's doing, okay?
Or what he's trying to do.
We know the Bible says that he roams around
like a roaring lion.
Y'all, he's not the lion of the tribe of Judah.
There's one lion of the tribe of Judah
and that's the God that we serve.
He's the one that has all authority,
that's already won the victory through Jesus Christ's coming.
The victory is already won for you
to step into everything that God has for you.
And I know that can be really hard for us to comprehend
sometimes because we feel things in the physical realm
and we have thoughts that tell us
that the promises of God aren't going to come for us.
Isn't that right?
this truth? The enemy is always opposing what God is doing in your life. So our attention is one of
the greatest commodities that the enemy is after. That's why it's really important for us to get a
hold of our thoughts. Remember, we talked a couple weeks ago, if you're brand new, you'll hear me
talk about this again in a few weeks and I'll talk about it pretty much every week because it's that
important that we get a hold of our minds. You know, I shared that story about the massage as
well. Here's why, because my husband wasn't saying or doing it. He got, he got a massage that day
too. So we were both kind of edgy. And I even said to him, we were on our way to a date night after,
you know, a little while later. And I said, did you feel any of these things happening to you
just because I wanted to see, was this just me or did he experience anyways?
You know, it takes a lot of self-awareness to pause and really recognize like I'm feeling
some kind of way and this isn't my normal self. So what's going on here, Lord, to just pause and
ask God really good questions. So I want to encourage you all in your day to day, even long
beyond when you're in the heartwork course, I want you to really dial in to who are you,
what is God doing in you? And when something is different, when it's not in alignment with that,
like who God called you to be, the promises, the blessings, and it's assaulting that other,
like it's assaulting the promise. It's assaulting your peace. Cause that's what
was happening that night. My literal flesh was trying to tell me I wasn't safe.
But that wasn't true. But what was happening is weeks and months of stress were getting pushed
out of me through that massage. And they were getting pushed out of my muscles and all the
things. Some of you all have had trauma stored in yourselves for quite some time. Okay. So when
that's coming out and you're processing, some of you are going to feel like crying and you won't
know why. That's how I felt that night. Like I literally like felt like the little girl on the
inside of me was like, I just want to cry. And I just don't know why. And I just like,
that is legitimately how I felt on the inside. And so I want you to understand that these things
happen. They are normal. There's nothing wrong with you. Some of you are going to feel numb.
You're going to feel that self-preservation technique of numbing. You're gonna feel that
up. Well, why? Well, because somewhere along the way, when you were younger,
that was a coping mechanism that you learned to protect yourself from something that felt hard
or confusing, or, you know, you name it, whatever you felt when you were younger.
So either way, I want to encourage you, if you feel numb, that you really start asking the word,
when is the first time I started numbing as a behavior to protect myself and allow God to come
in and heal those areas and to let the rivers flow ladies. Okay. If you feel like crying,
when you can, obviously I'm not saying just break down everywhere you go. If you're at work,
you know, we want to try our best to keep it together, but here's this thing. Some of you
have heard that your entire life, it's not safe to cry. It's not safe to show your emotion. It's,
if you do, you feel like you need to hide afterwards because you just let too much out.
You let people see the real you. Some of you Nadine wrote in the group, like when she feels bubbly and
talks and shares, the enemy tries and tell her that that's not accepted, that that's not loved.
And so the isolation kind of kicks in for her from that. So whichever way it is for you,
through this, that you would hopefully learn how to step further into who God originally created
you to be. So back to my original question, where has your attention been in the last day,
the last few days? Has your attention been on faith and the promises that God has given you on
like being focused on those things, not obsessed with them, but just focused on your heart work,
on what God's doing in you, on the winds that he's creating in your life, or has your mind wandered
to all the things that have not happened yet for you, the distractions, the disruptions, fear,
panic, anxiety. So I want you just to kind of come out of that tonight a little bit more.
And we're going to start talking about submission. And I do, we do have some app things going on,
y'all. We have a solution that we're going to announce next Monday. Okay. So I know notifications
haven't been happening. I see some chat happening. I just want to make to comment on that so we can
lean into where we're going to go next. We're taking care of that the best that we can,
our developers looking into those problems, ladies. But we also have a new solution that
we will announce next week when we're ready. Okay, so just pray for us, pray for our developer,
pray for all these tech kinks. If your post or your comment has not been responded to yet,
it is probably because our team, we're just not seeing everything. I've been in there answering
a lot of people. I had nothing left in my queue. So I see some people saying they didn't get a
comment back. So we'll get to it and hopefully we'll see that. Pray that God just brings your
post to the top and that wherever it's at hiding right now, that God just brings it out of hiding
just like we're asking for revealings for healing. Do y'all believe this stuff can happen? I believe
God can do it. So let's partner with that. And we're going to start talking about submission
tonight. This isn't a word that a lot of people love to talk about. Some people are fine with
submission. And if that's you, that's amazing. And I hope we hear from you tonight as well.
But there are a lot of people that have heard and learned a lot of really unhealthy things
about submission. And so we're going to debunk some things tonight. And we're going to also
really try to lean into helping you all heal from some of the things that you have learned
that have harmed you in some way. We're going to start first though with who God is and who
he is not. Okay. So I'm going to start with who he is not first. God will not trespass.
God will not trespass. He must be permitted to enter. Now you're like, well, wait, this is God.
He can do anything he wants. He's mighty. He's, you know, yes, he is all those things,
but we know that the word declares that we have to open our hearts to Jesus. We have to accept
him as our Lord and savior. We have to receive him. And that's when he enters our heart and our life.
The Bible we're going to talk about a little bit later also declares that God stands at the door
of our hearts and he knocks. And then if we enter, then he comes in. So for those of you
that might feel like God is trying to impose or force his agenda on you, some of you are terrified
that he's going to ask you to marry someone that you don't even think is attractive. You have
nothing in common with them. He's just going to force you to do this. No, no. That isn't how it
is. He's going to force you in this process to surrender your list. Because some of y'all have
a big old long list that God never intended for you to have. And some of you have a list that's
been created out of trauma and trying to protect yourself from getting hurt or staying away from
something you think harmed you before. And so you, you're like, I'm never dating anybody.
You know, that's a police officer. Maybe your dad was a police officer. I'm never going to
marry someone in ministry. Maybe you're a PK and that was really hard for you.
Whatever it is, ladies, God will not trespass. He must be permitted to enter. God is a giver.
And one of the most beautiful gifts that he has given to each one of us is free
will and choice. You get to choose him. You get to live your life for him. He respects our
boundaries and he is not going to force things upon you. Submission, unfortunately, a lot of
religious men and women have weaponized this word for years and years and years. They portrayed
their thoughts and messages as from God himself, but they have been misrepresenting God and his
heart and his truth regarding what the word submit actually means. And you all, some of them
think that they are saying the right thing, but they're taking things out of context.
They're taking a verse or two and they're preaching on it. And dare I say, some of them, I try to
tread lightly because, you know, we don't ever want to speak against God's anointed, but some
of these people are maybe not even studying the depth of what these things are saying.
So I don't want you to be afraid of being in churches around people or, but we need to be
learning the word, reading the word. If you don't know how to study it,
get with someone that can teach you how to actually study the word of God for yourself.
The Bible says that we should rightly divide the word. Back in the day, no joke, you all,
everything the pastor said, I believed it as gospel. What do I mean by that?
I believed it to be true. If he said it, it was true. Now, I'm not saying that's the like, it's not bad to trust people. It's not bad to believe that God can use my pastor.
Now my husband to preach a word in season to speak truth and and all this stuff to me, and that does happen most of the time.
But way back years ago on occasion, and I love him and I adore my former pastor and I am not saying he was a bad pastor. He was a wonderful pastor, but there were times that some of the messaging that came through was religious and controlling and manipulative.
Why and how can that happen? Well, anybody that has any kind of unhealed wound in their heart, guess what? All of us do this too. So let's not judge the pastors right now.
Y'all know we all on at some point have misunderstood the word of God through our own wounds through our own filter system, and we've said something to someone that has misled them.
We haven't intended to. But full confession back in the day, I mean, man, I just, yeah, I believed everything they said and I would convey that. And then the Lord started like, no, I didn't say that.
And he started checking me and I started learning a little bit more about the father's heart and who the father is and what his love really looks like and what his love really sounds like. And, and you know what, it didn't always sound like what I was hearing.
And so that's been the case for some of you. It's been the case for some of you where the things that you've heard, and even now, a couple of weeks ago, we had a lady, she might even already be in phase two by now, but, you know, we're in here trying to minister to you all as singles.
We're trying to, you know, believe for you, poor hope. And we, I mean, this is stuff that Jackie spends a lot of time studying and looking into myself and like, we're literally looking and reading through this stuff. And I've even asked my husband about certain things, just again, because he comes with this, you know, theological background that brings a lot of value to some added areas.
And, you know, she sat in her church and a chaplain delivered a message that was full of so much bondage that she left feeling so confused and disheartened and, and really didn't know if she even believed God had marriage for her anymore. And this is why she's in the heart work.
So be careful what you're hearing. Be careful what you're seeing. Be careful. I'm not saying you can't listen to stuff, but especially during the heart work, you all, man, I'm telling you what, if this might sound a little like extreme, but I'm going to make a recommendation.
While you're in the heart work. Now, if you're in a small group and you're doing a book study with them, okay, go ahead and do that. But I want to encourage you to just read your Bible, read the heart work book, and watch the heart work videos for right now. For five weeks. That you wouldn't have a lot of outside sources and things and people. And you all, that's hard on social media, isn't it? All these reels, all these people that got a word from the Lord for today.
And I'm not saying it's that they're not because here I am, I'm talking to you too. Right. But do we know their backgrounds? You know, do we know really what the source of information is that they're, that they're declaring? So let's, let's look into that. Not believing the worst in people, but let's just be cautious and wise about what we're hearing and taking in.
All right. I'm going to keep going.
The Holy spirit is going to be the one that's going to help you have discernment.
About what God's truth is about submission, about all kinds of things more and more in the days to come. Some of you, the struggle is that you don't trust yourself.
Because you made a mistake, maybe once, maybe twice in relationship, maybe three times. I don't know. Maybe you made mistakes about other things. And so the enemy is trying to tell you that you're not trustworthy. You can't trust yourself.
And then what happens is these other people in our lives that have authority or some level of, you know, you know, maybe a boss, maybe a person in authority in a church, you know, maybe it was your dad, some of you all as adult women, your parents rule your life.
It's not healthy.
And so, you know, you can't trust yourself.
You can't trust yourself.
Those things have to start to break and get into proper healthy alignment so that you can walk into freedom.
The Holy Spirit is going to be your comforter, your counselor, your guide. He's going to be there for you.
help you navigate this, but you have to be willing to allow God to heal all of these areas to reveal
the things that are holding you back and keeping you stuck from moving forward. And some of those
things are misconceptions and belief systems that we have about who God is. We believe a lot of lies
about who God is. We're going to talk about a little bit who he really is here in a few moments.
Colossians 3.21 says, Fathers, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged.
In the King James Version it says, Fathers, provoke not your children to anger
lest they be discouraged. Provoke here in the Greek is to stir up, to excite, to stimulate,
especially to anger, to provoke them. Lest they be discouraged in the Greek means to be disheartened,
dispirited, broken in spirit to be dismayed. Have you ever felt disheartened, dispirited,
broken in spirit or dismayed because of what someone said to you, over you, about you?
Someone that had authority on some level? I want you to be thinking tonight. I don't want us to
stay here, but we need to go here tonight so that you can start to come out from more of this rubble
that you've been living under, the things that are keeping you pressed down, and again, these
religious mindsets and beliefs that God wants to bring you out of. We want to address the unhealthy
experiences that you've had with fathers, exes, so your husbands, men in authority over you. Some of
y'all are going to think of women in authority as well, and you can write those down, and you want
to, because you need to explore those with the Lord as well. But I just felt impressed that we
need to go after some wrong thought patterns about God as well as about men, because where we've been
hurt, hurt in relationship, healed in relationship. Some of you all have been very hurt by your
ex-husband, your wasband, and the authority that he was trying to assert over you that was not
healthy, and this can be a boyfriend as well, you all. You don't have to be married for this to happen,
okay? It could be a friend, like a friend that's a boy, or even some of you have friends that are
girls that really try to assert and dominate you, and it's probably because that showed up with one
of your parents or another guardian in your life at some point, or teacher. Again, this can be anyone
that at any point had authority over you that mishandled it, okay? All right, and we're gonna
step a little bit into forgiveness tonight. Not only are we going to think about these people in
these situations, but I'm encouraging you to then do forgiveness prayer sheets, to process this stuff
again, to come out of alignment agreement with things that are not true, so that you can move
forward. So these unhealthy actions, the words, the treatment, all of the things that were not intended
for you long ago. All right, so as you're thinking about these people that have mistreated you, that
have tried to make you submit, y'all, that's not God. God is not like that. Some of you are afraid,
like you want a marriage, but you're really terrified that you're going to end up being a
doormat for other people, and that's not what God wants you to go into a, like, relationship with
that underlying fear. So let's look at where did that come from to begin with, and let's allow the
healing to come in, and heal those areas, so that you don't continue to subconsciously have that
in you on the inside, because guess what? If it's in us, ladies, it's going on dates with us.
It's going into that relationship with us, and now, obviously, there's no way for us to clear
out every single thing we're ever going to need to clear out before you move into relationship,
because sometimes, guess what? It's when you enter relationship that more things are revealed for
healing, and not just that. You move into engagement, and then there's more things revealed
for healing, and marriage, and all of the things, but hey, won't it be great to go on dates and not
have all this heavy baggage hanging around on your heart, and you can walk into those things more free
and more light, and receive everything that God has for you. So we want to grow in our understanding
of God's character. That's going to be key. So who is God? What does the Bible say about who
is God? I'm going to give you a couple, and I want to encourage you to
week to look into scripture for yourself about these things.
God is love.
God is kind.
He's faithful.
He's good.
God is peace.
For those of you that are needing peace in your life, really what you want to pray
is God as peace, will you come into this situation, will you come into my heart in
this area and, and bring yourself that's genuinely like, it's not, it's not God
over here and peace over here.
Like he is love.
He is peace.
He is like, these are who he is.
So when we get to know him better, we can walk in these things ourselves.
The word submission means to yield to the power of another yield is to let go in
the process and learn how to trust God.
How's that going for you ladies?
Are you learning how to trust God?
Are you learning how to let go and say, Lord, I just, I surrender this completely
to you.
I'm allowing all my do not enter signs.
I'm taking those down because I don't have to protect and defend myself anymore.
I never had to actually, but because of pain and trauma, I picked up the lie that I
had to defend and protect myself because other people weren't going to do it for me.
Be willing to submit to absolute in greater truth than what has happened in your life.
Or even for some of you, what is happening right now, when we know K N O W, when we
know the one we're submitting to and trust them, that is what can help us choose to
submit to them.
So who are we submitting to?
First and foremost, ladies, we're submitting to God.
Okay.
That's the most important relationship.
I know a lot of you, most of you came in here for the spirit mate.
That's going to be the cherry on top.
The more that you heal in your relationship with the Lord, the more you're going to be
enabled to walk into a healthy relationship with another healthy person.
If you're afraid of God and you don't really believe he's good, that is going to
impact how you show up in the world in every interaction.
Submission is not about someone dominating us ladies.
It's not about someone controlling us or abusing us or us being a doormat.
Submission is a mutual respect and surrender towards each other.
So for example, this was a big deal.
I've been in multiple abusive relationships.
So before I was going to get married this time, 100%, y'all better believe I was
having conversations with, with Brian.
He's the only person that got this far with me, you know, in these conversations,
what I mean, we're married now.
If y'all don't know that for my new ladies, I'm September 4th is three years for us.
But when we were dating, he was the only one that we got to that point that we were
having conversations.
And this is one of the things I asked him, what do you believe about submission?
Now, I don't recommend talking about those things on first dates or any of that, but
we, this was long into our dating relationship, but that was important to me.
I wanted to know what his heart was about submission.
What did he believe about it?
Because I was not going to walk into another relationship where someone abused me,
mistreated me, tried to push me down and oppress me with their words and their
actions. I just wasn't going to do it.
And so thankfully, praise the Lord, he had the same perspective that I did and I still
do. And together we can be a team because we both believe that submission is a mutual
respect. We both respect each other.
We both love each other.
So when the Bible talks about the husband should love their wives as Christ loves the
church. You know, and that wives should submit to and respect their husbands.
Well, yes, of course it says that, but I believe it goes both ways.
I don't think that God ever intended for men to be the only ones being respected.
But ladies, there is something to say about the love aspect, you know, when we feel
loved, truly, genuinely, guess what comes out?
Respect. But sometimes.
We also believe lies still rooted in love.
in our hearts from our past.
And even when that person is loving and kind,
those little suckers start to rear their heads
and we start to wait, I don't respect that decision.
What they're doing is wrong.
And then we get all some kind of way.
And then we start talking really bad to the men.
So let's just deal with this in our hearts now.
And as we continue to go,
so that we're not allowing bitterness
to come up out of our hearts onto the men
that God will bring into our lives.
Revelation 3.20 says,
behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come into him and eat with him and he with me.
That's the scripture I was talking about earlier.
Job 22.21 says, I'm sorry, I almost read the same scripture.
Submit to God and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
Y'all, peace here in this scripture in the Hebrews
is actually to be in a covenant of peace,
to complete, to finish, to make whole or good, to restore.
So God is saying when we submit to him
that we're gonna have a covenant of peace,
that he's gonna complete the work of peace in us,
that he's gonna finish it,
he's gonna make us whole in peace.
He's gonna make it good
and he's gonna restore things in our lives.
Isn't that kind of like,
how many of us have actually paused
and just thought about that regarding submission?
Before I found that scripture, I didn't.
So it was very enlightening for me.
And then it says, then things will go well with you.
So look at the things going on in your heart,
be honest, just be fully honest,
because God already knows.
He already knows how you feel, how you think.
And he's just asking you to just to be honest and open up
and surrender that stuff out.
Okay, Proverbs 3, 5 in the message verse,
oh, Susan, that was Job 22, verse 21 in the NLT version.
This next one is Proverbs 3, 5 in the message translation.
It says, trust God from the bottom of your heart.
Don't try to figure everything out on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything that you do,
everywhere that you go.
He's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
For myself, that scripture helps me remember
that even when I think I have all the answers,
I just don't.
And God's ways are above mine
and his thoughts are above mine.
And I pray all the time,
God, help me to have an eagle eye perspective,
like the bird's eye view.
Help take me up higher into your heavenly mindset
and thoughts and help me to see what you see
so that I can walk out your plan for my life.
All right, I'm gonna have Annette share a little bit
just some of the things we've been chatting about
and how this kind of has been a part
of what God's been doing in her as well.
Thank you, Bethany.
One of the biggest transformations that I had
in my heart work is coming in,
I had done some counseling around,
I was sexually abused by a babysitter
and then by my father.
And so, especially when I came into heart work,
I would feel myself bristle
when people talked about God being a loving father
or he was your protector, he was looking out for you.
And I had some resentment and some anger around,
okay, so if that's true, where were you?
Because like Bethany said with the verse in Proverbs 3, 5,
like trust not, lean not on your own understanding
because in my understanding, God should have shown up.
He should have been there.
He should have stopped it.
He could have prevented it.
And why didn't he?
And now you want me to submit
when you didn't do what I needed anyway.
So I was very hesitant to fully surrender to God.
You know, God's good.
You know, he loves you.
But trying to reconcile that on the other side
with my experiences and things that happened,
I did, I really struggled.
But in my time in the heart work,
what really transformed me was the closer I got
to learning and understanding the heart of God
and the character of God.
He was just as hurt if not more so by the actions of others.
than I was. It wasn't his intention for me, but what I have learned and what I've really
come and had a lot of freedom around is he does protect me. He is there. It doesn't mean
that bad things aren't going to happen. There's not going to be disappointment. There's not
going to be struggle. But if I look at him and keep him as my foundation and stand on
the truths and the promises and to know that he's going to work all things for my good,
he doesn't pick and choose. He promises that he'll work everything for my good because
I do love him and I want to serve him. And I can see now as I've gone through that transformation,
I have incredible freedom. I see God's hand every day in my life, giving me protection,
giving me insight, giving me guidance because he loves me so much. And he's also helped me
for truly forgive and to be able to, because along, I don't want to get lost in the details,
but along with that, it was also with my mom because she knew about it. And so then when
the anger and the resentment came up with her and not being protected there, I have been able
to forgive both of them. I have a relationship with them and it's not that I feel warm butterflies,
you know, but God helps me to love them. He strengthens me. He gives me opportunities where
I can put love into action to them. And so let's see, I did some notes. One thing I'm
really thankful for is I call God, my Abba father and my daddy. Now he's the one who's
there for me since the beginning and who continues to be there for me every day.
And that gives me a confidence that nobody else can give me.
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. I can remember when I first started making that
transition to call him Abba and daddy too. He's my dad, like he's, you know, no disrespect to my dad,
but my dad was never in my life like ever. And man, all these years, God has been so faithful,
even when I was faithless. And even when I was turning my back on him, you know years ago when
I wasn't living for the Lord, but God will meet you ladies right where you're at. I want you to
know that he understands why some of you don't think he's good. He does just like Annette said,
like, you know, man, she had a lot of stuff in there that needed healing so that she could learn
about who God really was to her and had always been. But the biggest thing that I want you all
to understand, we're going to get ready for breakouts here, is that it's always an invitation.
Always. Okay. So God tonight, you're here, you're hearing this message. This is your invitation.
This is your invitation to growing in your perspective of him and his heart towards you.
If you believe he's a trickster, he's a liar, he's a cheater, that is getting projected onto him,
most likely because of things you've been through. And so I want to encourage you to
come out of alignment and agreement with those kinds of ideas and thoughts about who God is
and that he is trustworthy. Now, some of you, it just takes time. It takes time and healing for you
to believe, you know, that he is good and he is trustworthy. So just again, remember we started
with grace upon grace upon grace, right? So I want you to extend grace to yourselves in this process,
even regarding learning how to trust the Lord. So your question tonight for your breakout session
is, do you struggle with submission and why? And you can answer if you're someone who you just
don't struggle with submission because you had great parents and they taught loving, that loving
mutual respect and honor in the home, then I would love for you to share about that too. But maybe you
had an unhealthy dynamic or view of submission because of something that happened outside the
home. Remember we're looking at all the different things that we've been through in life where maybe
somebody mishandled their authority and it caused you to not feel good regarding submission, okay?
Totally fine for some of you that aren't able to join breakout.
And so what I'll do, ladies, if you go into a room and you're by yourself, hang on there,
okay, because I'll move you around.
So I'll probably invite you into a different room if I see you sitting there by yourself.
But before you do that, I'm going to send you into the breakout room in a moment, but
I want to read the submission activation prayer over you to kind of help prepare your hearts
for this conversation.
So I want to encourage you just to close your eyes and just allow yourself to receive this
over yourself tonight.
Father God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that
does not belong to my true identity and anything that is hindering me from living the life
that you originally created me to live.
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest places in my heart.
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting.
When you reveal these broken places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your
care and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.
I set aside this season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness and ask Holy Spirit
to take charge of this process.
I ask that you dwell with me and in me.
I need you.
I cannot heal myself.
I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly am.
Help me to become who you created me to be.
Show me the lies I have believed about myself, my life, my surroundings, even the lies I
have believed about you, God.
Teach me the greater truth.
Teach me your ways.
Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly.
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.
In Jesus name, amen, amen, amen.
All right.
Let me get...
Oh, I keep...
We're losing some people probably because we're about to go into breakout.
Sometimes people jump off for that.
All right.
We're going to do six minutes, ladies.
So remember, short, brief, and powerful.
Don't try to counsel or help each other.
Remember, you just say to your sister after they share, thank you so much for trusting
me with that part of your journey or your story, okay?
And then you can go into sharing as well.
All right.
Go ahead and click to join those.
And again, I'll move you around if need be, but go ahead and click to join those as quick
as you can.
Those are up there for you.
As we get them situated, for those that are not able to go into the breakout, I will be
praying here in just a moment.
I have a couple of people sitting by themselves, so give me a minute, ladies.
That was 13.
A lot of people dropping off.
It makes it really hard sometimes to get everybody situated with somebody in their
room.
I think I have everybody.
Laura, just please make sure nobody's sitting by themselves.
Let me just do another quick check.
Crystal asked if they could get a three-minute warning.
Yeah, I don't know what she's asking that for.
I don't know what that means.
We'll ask her when she comes back, maybe at the end of the session.
All right.
I have a couple ladies with three.
Gosh, there's a lot of people dropping out.
All right.
Father, we just ask you to just continue to work in all of these situations, Lord.
We just thank you for revealings for healing that are happening.
I just put four ladies together accidentally because of that.
Sorry, Renee.
Bless Renee, Lord.
Give her patience in this process.
Father, thanks so much for grace.
Thank you for helping us to hear what your spirit is saying.
God, we thank you for anointing our hearts and our minds to receive everything that you
have for us, even right now.
Lord, sometimes the tech is such a blessing, but, Lord, sometimes it can really cause stress
or distraction, even what we were talking about earlier, to rise up in people.
Other things in our lives can happen, Lord.
It just makes me think of even this last weekend.
It rained so much in Florida.
Sunday morning, we're getting ready to leave for church, and the water...
was just flooding the patio.
And I was panicked that it was gonna flood
this current Airbnb that we're staying in.
And I just felt like so nervous to even leave.
And Lord, you just kept saying to trust you.
So Lord, we just ask you to help every one of these ladies
to let go of any anxious thoughts,
any harmful things that they've been thinking about,
stress of the day, stress of the world.
God, that you would help them to fully surrender
every aspect of their heart and their lives to you.
God, we thank you that you're revealing areas for healing,
that you're continuing to, yes, Lord,
transform them in all of their minds
by renewing their minds and helping them to partner
with the truth of your word.
God, we ask you to fan the flames of hunger and thirst
for your righteousness, for your word within them.
God, that you would help them to come away,
to be set apart for your purposes, Lord,
and that they would, yes, Lord,
remember that they don't have to be on good behavior.
This isn't about a momentary or even a short-term fix.
This is about a long-term thing
that you're wanting to do in us, God.
So we thank you for the reminder tonight
that you're changing us from glory to glory to glory.
God, that you never stop, that you're always working.
We thank you, Lord, for redeeming us,
for reminding us, yes, Lord, that you call us by our name.
God, I believe every one of these ladies
have been given a name that really, Lord,
is a part of your blessing and your call on their lives.
I pray that you would help them to seek you
about every aspect of this process that they're in, God,
that they would not become weary
and well-doing for in due season.
They will reap if they don't faint,
if they don't give up, Lord.
And even as we were talking about earlier, Lord,
that as we set our attention on your truth,
on your goodness, you know, the Bible declares
that we should think on things that are noble and true
and lovely and of good report,
things that are above only and not beneath.
So, Lord, we thank you that you'll help us
to have that mindset,
that we would have the mind of Christ.
Yes, Lord, we thank you that right now we just,
Lord, we just shed scales off of our minds,
off of our eyes,
things that cause us to see ourselves and other people
through incorrect lenses,
life situations through lenses of pain and hurt.
Thank you, Lord,
that offense is an opportunity for an upgrade.
We thank you, God, that you're continuing to just,
Lord, remove the rough edges in us, Lord.
We thank you that your word declares in Psalm 51
that create in me a clean heart, oh God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within us,
that you would take your Holy Spirit from us.
But Lord, I thank you that you would sustain us.
I thank you for just transforming every aspect
of who we are,
that you are helping us to see a greater truth,
to recognize who you are as God is love.
You are love.
You cannot deny yourself.
We thank you that not height, nor depth,
nor principality, nor power, nor things in the present,
nor things to come can ever separate us
from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
So we thank you, Lord,
that today we will partner with the truth
that we can remain in your love,
even when we make mistakes,
even in marriage, when we make a mistake,
Lord, that we can seek forgiveness
and that both parties can be reconciled.
So Lord, I just speak a spirit of reconciliation
over every one of these ladies and their families,
over their mindsets, their heart postures,
the things that they've been through,
Lord, and even tonight,
as we're talking about submission, Lord,
I pray that you would help us to be transformed
in the way that we look at submission,
God, that you would heal wounds of the past.
And we thank you that you would invite us
to come out of hiding in these dark places and spaces
where we have resided at times,
even within our own hearts,
where people, some people have literally shut down aspects
of themselves because of the abuse and the mistreatment
that they've gone through.
So Lord, thank you for waking us up.
I read something this afternoon as well.
It said, are you awake in the wake?
Are you awake in the awakening?
I thought, man, that's so good.
So as God is awakening you,
are you awake in the awakening?
Are you fully attuned to what God is doing
in your heart and life in this season and time?
We encourage you just to continue to lean into that truth
and see what God might wanna show you through it.
Welcome back, ladies.
So glad to have you back.
We saw that someone was asking for a three-minute,
Morning. I think maybe you're asking before we come out of breakouts, but there's actually a 60 second warning.
And I maybe can look into changing that to three minutes, but y'all go in there for six. So that's going to be kind of quick.
So that 60 seconds. It's kind of like that final like okay everybody hustle it up and kind of share your last things. And I know it can be really quick.
But short, brief and powerful amazing things can happen in that time. All right, before we go into group coaching for those of you that are brand new. This is where you can share with the whole group what you shared in the breakout or even just, you know, let me say this. If you have a struggle with submission, even if you didn't share this in your breakout.
You can come on and get coaching for that tonight. Okay, so I don't want it to feel like it just has to be what you shared in the breakout. But if you are someone that also, I haven't talked about this as much tonight as I did this afternoon, but I feel led to bring this up as well. Rebellion.
Are you someone that struggles with rebelling against authority in your life?
Like God put people over you, even in your job. Some of you just like you're just not like something in you like this just grinds against you inside when someone's telling you or asking you to do something like
How dare they tell me what to do. Y'all know how we get sometimes right yeah so if you struggle with rebellion that can be in there as well.
And so let's talk about some of these things. Before we go into that real quick. Here are your activations for this week. I am going to put them up in the group tonight.
So those will be posted under the community tab. You can see it there. I put a cute little graphic up there that shows you this is your activation for the week.
So I want to encourage you all. If you haven't already done so that permission slip that is in the beginning of your course that you would print that out.
Put that up where you see it and I would love for you to be praying that out loud over yourself every day.
Hey, it's that constant surrendering and submission partnering with that.
And then want to encourage you all to come into the group this week and talk about like what what has happened in your life.
You know, regarding submission. Were there things that were hurtful? Did you have a good experience with submission?
So come into the group. And if you need coaching through that we can do that there. And also, again, if you had a good experience. Let's hear that, too, because some of these ladies need to hear
what your good experience with submission has been like. And then this is the week, ladies, where we do the roots and fruits activation. So I'm going to show you
real quick. We're going to go through this as fast as I can. Let me scroll back up here. A couple examples. Now, let me preface this.
Yours can look completely different from all of these. Okay. These are just examples. It doesn't have to be fancy, ladies. The point and the main thing is to get it done.
Okay, to get it out on paper, to get it done. If you're more creative and you want to be super creative. That's amazing. That's cool.
If you don't feel led to be super crafty or that's not your comfort zone. I'm going to show you some ways that you can still do it. And it is great. We love them all. Okay. There's no art contest. There's no judging
anybody's art and creative skills. Again, this is about getting it done. All right. So this lady, she shared the fruits and roots. So basically what we want to look at
is all of the fruit in our life, which would be on the top of our tree, if you will, all are connected to roots down in our soil, down in our heart. So
some of us, hopefully all of us have good fruit and not good fruit.
And we're healing so that we can get rid of more of that unhealthy fruit and get more healthy fruit.
And then those, I'm sorry, roots and then that's going to produce that fruit in your life. So this here, she actually didn't do any fruit in her drawing, but she put the different roots that she was working through.
There's a couple different ones in there. They're all mixed together. Victimhood stands out, cussing. These are things, these are roots. These are areas where she struggles with mindsets or lies or the cussing. It sounds like, you know, her flesh is kind of ruling
in that area. Ladies, those are unhealthy roots. Okay, so typically those are connected to things in us that need healed.
And those then cause unhealthy fruit. Okay, going on. Here's another one. She's, you know, a little bit more artistic. The way that she did hers that I wanted to point out, again, these are all ideas and seeds. You don't have to do it exactly like this. This is just an example.
So connected to her root, you see the root of the tree here, she has different lies that are connected to that main root system, if you will.
And she did that for all of hers. Now, again, you may not feel led to do that, but that was something that was really helpful to her.
And on the drawing, she also wrote scriptures
that were healthy for her to partner with in the days ahead.
Here's another one.
This lady is a teacher.
So for those of you that are teachers,
you might really appreciate her poster board.
And this was something that just,
she wanted to put it up in her house
so she could be praying over it.
She has some declarations on there.
She has basically the areas where like her main roots
were perfectionism, abandonment, and rejection as a child,
and how those were leading into perfectionism, abandonment,
and rejection as an adult.
And then she wrote her different lies
and things that were connected to those as well.
Here's another one, super cute, simple.
Y'all again, this is amazing.
This is great.
She's getting fear of man,
and then she's connecting it to what is the fruit showing up
in her life because of that.
And then as well, the good fruit or roots, excuse me,
that connect to the good fruit.
Here's another one.
This one's done on a computer.
This is great too.
So if this is the way you wanna go,
you can totally do it like this.
Again, you see the unhealthy roots and healthy ones
going up to the fruit there.
Here's another one on a computer.
I thought this was really cool too.
Like she has one half of her tree
that's representing the unhealthy side,
and then the other half that is representing
the healthy side for her.
Complaining and comparing, resentment and bitterness,
hopelessness, despair, low self-esteem.
So maybe you resonate with some of those.
Here's the last one I'm gonna share with you real quick.
Now, this lady is an artist, so don't be intimidated,
but I did wanna show this to you
because again, her fruit and roots that are not healthy
are that kind of that far left side.
It looks a little dark,
and then she's got the stuff that's good
and in that yellow and kind of alive looking colors.
But I love that she put the Holy Spirit here too.
And the Holy Spirit is who empowers us
and enables us to heal even those unhealthy areas
and then produce healthy fruit later on.
All right, so the goal is for you to be praying
and asking God, what unhealthy roots do you have
in your life that are producing unhealthy fruit?
And then what healthy fruit do you have in your life
that is producing healthy fruit?
Okay, create that and then post in the group
and you can share even how that experience was for you.
Again, I'll put this up as a reminder in the group
for you all, you'll see it there.
If you need any further explanation,
check that post out, okay?
All right, thanks for my ladies
that already put your hands up.
Alexandra, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany, good to see you.
Hi, good to see you too.
Okay, so this has actually been
like a major roadblock in my life.
The submission at work specifically.
So I just grew up in a really like,
just very like chaotic home
and there ended up being like a lot of neglect,
but I just kind of like did my own thing.
And then once I got older, I kind of learned
like my parents weren't responsible with their finances
and their marriage was falling apart.
And then they got into new relationships
and those fell apart and our life was falling apart.
And I was, so I just kind of,
and my mom would come home from work
and I had come home from school and she was like,
like, why haven't you done this in the house?
Why haven't you done this?
And I'm a teenager at this point,
but I was like, all I remembered in my head was like,
you're not upholding like you're a part of this bargain.
And like, so I don't feel like I wanna do mine.
And we got in these big arguments.
It was very traumatic for her apparently.
I was just very much like, I'm not gonna do it.
Like I don't, and I still did some things.
I didn't like not do anything,
but it was really hard for me to wanna do anything
because I just didn't respect her.
So at work, almost every job, there's other things,
just like a lot of insecurity comes up.
And then once I see that like I don't trust
or don't agree with something that they're doing,
it's very difficult for me to follow.
And I've just kind of associated it with like,
I'm very values-based.
So if something doesn't really like align with my values,
it's very hard for me to do it.
But I've never gotten fat.
Well, actually I did kind of,
I got let go from a job for that.
And I love my, I'm a nurse,
but some of the jobs have been very stressful,
but that on top of it,
there just ends up being a lot of fear.
And I think it's in relation to me
kind of maybe rebelling in some small ways.
I just kind of like shut down and try to keep to myself
and like, I don't trust anybody.
And then things kind of implode at the workplace.
Thank you for sharing.
I think there's a lot of crossover between this thing with your mom and what's happening
at work.
I'm curious, and it's okay if not, I'm just curious.
Do you tend to struggle more with women or just people in general if you feel like that
you don't agree with them or you feel like you don't trust them or whatever?
Do you see this showing up with women more than men?
It's tough.
I work with a lot more women as a nurse, but the guys I have worked with, it hasn't been
such a big thing.
Yeah.
So that's kind of like where that signals, and even as you were talking about your mom,
while both of your parents seem to struggle in that relationship and that relationship
fell apart, which you might have feelings towards your dad as well, but it sounds like
because you were living with mom and mom was coming home, kind of being hard on you
to a degree, that when you partnered with the rebellion and kind of just like really
choosing to disrespect her in your heart, which when you really unpack that, Alexandra,
it's hurt.
It's hurt that then doesn't get taken care of, that turns into bitterness and unforgiveness
and resentment and all those things.
And so even if you've already done quite a bit of work around this with your mom, I want
to encourage you, there might be multiple times, but if there is a time that stands
out in particular, which it sounds like this incident is one of them, that you would really
invite Jesus to come into that situation with you and illuminate that for you to show you
the truth that you're not seeing right now and to help you to see what you couldn't see
back then and to forgive your mom.
Because at the end of the day, I understand why you felt probably the way you did, but
if you can choose to fully forgive her in that moment, in that time, not so much you,
Alexandra now, which yes, that's what you're doing, but like, it's more about the younger
version, Alexandra forgiving her mom for mistreating her or whatever was going on there, whatever
you were feeling.
And then what lies were rising up during that time as well, that you partnered with, you
know, how dare she tell me what to do when she can't hold her own life together.
You know, I don't know that that's what you thought, but those are the kinds of things
that people, you know, really struggle when your parents look.
Dare I say weak in some way, you know, or imperfect.
And as children, we also, if we have parents that it looked like they were good and they
were healthy and they had things together, we kind of inflate, you know, our perspective
of them.
And so when that all implodes and falls apart, we don't know what to do.
And so if you didn't have anyone to help you process that, it's very common for the young
children or teenagers in the home to feel rebellion, you know, that rebellion and disrespect
and brokenness because they're sad.
Yeah.
And I think I struggle now with like, I guess, I don't know if it's pride.
Like I am like, I do feel like I'm a smart person.
And so I really struggle when like, I feel like I'm like that, especially as a nurse
on the floor and my manager isn't a nurse telling me to do something.
And I'm like, that doesn't actually make sense.
And so I really struggle, like if I see a better way or something like that on like
submitting to.
So I have this like better than I don't know.
But then I'm like, also, is that wrong?
Because what if it really is better?
Well, and I will say for those of you, everyone on the call, like if someone's asking you
to do something that isn't good, okay, let's just, let's just put this out there too.
We don't need to just, those are the times we need to stand up.
But in this case, it's not bad that you think or see a better way or a way that you think
might work things.
Because I even sometimes see things that maybe my husband doesn't see.
We have different perspectives, but I think the key, Alexandra, is what's in our heart.
You know, like, in our heart is their pride.
And I think even Annette shared a couple of weeks ago, you know, sometimes there's that
right to be right.
Like we have that right to be right.
Like we just have to be right, you know, and that is rooted in pride and ego and things.
Again, if you look at the self-preservation.
patient sheet though, some of those things show up because you're protecting the parts
of yourself that were actually hurting. And so again, that's where it's going to be really
important to go back and heal the younger version of yourself. Cause I think it's going
to impact a lot of the ways that you're shown up with these situations and people. And then
you mentioned insecurity. I want to touch on this real quick before I go to Susan. Um,
I would love for you to look at what is causing the insecurity to rise up in these job situations
and just ask the Lord, what, what's the root of that. So what's causing it to come up and
when is the first time you felt those ways in your life? Because again, you have to go
back to the source, the root of the insecurity and it it's, it's showing up in the work situations,
but it it's rooted somewhere else most likely. Yeah. Um, yeah, I really struggle with like
worrying about people talking bad about me or like not liking me and that kind of ties
yeah at work. So I have to figure that out. God will show me. Well, let me ask you a question.
Do you think you're a likable person? Um, the parts of me that are healthy. Yes. The
parts of me that have been damaged and hurt. I I'm like, I, I understand why. Yeah. I want
you to work on that a little bit from the perspective of, I'm not saying we don't all
like, we all have stuff where we need to still heal. Okay. But I want you to be kinder towards
the parts of yourself that are broken, if you will. Okay. Because I think what's happening
is actually the more I'm even processing this with you is the judgment that's coming out
on other people is actually judgment you have towards yourself. Yeah. And I don't know
exactly where that came from. Well, and again, this is where asking the Lord and some of it's
a process. You might not find out all these answers now, but it's just, these are dots
that God is kind of bringing together. And over time he'll keep connecting the dots. Um, but again,
if there was a moment when you were younger, when you rejected yourself in some way, that's where,
I mean, that's where it can start. Um, you know, I think a lot of us, um, I say this a lot in the
real you session, but like, you know, we're taught in Christian circles to love ourselves,
to love ourselves, but there's not a lot of people talking about, well, do you like yourself
and learning how to like who we are? Even y'all, sometimes I make some big, ugly mistakes
and like, even that day, like I, thankfully I didn't mistreat Brian or anything, but I was
feeling all kinds of ugly on the inside and I knew it didn't feel comfortable. And in the past,
I would have been so hard on myself about that. But instead the Lord through that article that
I just really quickly read was saying, don't judge yourself for how you're feeling right now.
And so I just want to give that to you and everyone else on here tonight.
Some of y'all really need to look at how you're judging yourself and criticizing and being harsh
towards yourself. And that behavior is then being reciprocated and kind of projected onto other
people as well, but it goes back. What's that source. When did this start in our lives where
we started judging and criticizing ourselves? Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm so glad
that you were here. I think you're pretty likable, Alexandra, just FYI. Keep receiving that.
All right. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Susan, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany. I so appreciate you. Thank you. That last part was really helpful for me too.
I feel like I'm very ungracious to my parts. I think are ugly. I don't know if you remember me
last week. I came on last. Okay. All right. So a few more, I wanted to talk to you a little bit
more about the babysitter that we, excuse me. I told my mom about it today and she remembered
that like, yeah, I was probably about nine or 10 and the neighbor boy probably was 12 or 13
and he babysat us. And she said that he did have an erection when he came over. And I'm like, okay,
that makes sense. Because I remember feeling a certain way. And my mom was surprised that
for me, it feels good in a way. Cause I'm like, okay, that makes sense. Why I've been like scared
of, was scared so long. I mean, it's not like I'm scared of guys now or that I've never had sex
or anything as an adult, but.
It made sense why I was like that for such a long time and panicked, but she was surprised.
She's like, she didn't realize that that could have caused me to be like, have that reaction.
And then she said right away, I think a lot of people go through sexual abuse or go through
situations like that.
And so I was like, I feel like you're minimizing, like to just say that right away after I told
you something.
No, no, I'm not trying to minimize you.
I'm just saying.
And then it was kind of quiet for like a few minutes in the car.
And then, you know, after that, she's like, well, I'm really sorry that happened.
And I know that God is going to restore the years.
So that was helpful.
But it did kind of make me feel like, well, yeah, is, I mean, you know, just saying that,
like so many people have had that and they don't seem to be like so scared, like, you
know, is it really that, but yeah.
And we have another woman in here that I've kind of been coaching her through some similar
things.
The reality is, is unfortunately this does happen to a lot of people.
It does, but it's okay then in that moment, that's not what you needed to hear.
But what I love about what your mom did is while there was silence for a little bit,
when she spoke again, she really acknowledged, you know, what you went through and how that
impacted you.
And that's, that's good.
Some people cannot do that at all.
So I love that she made that shift.
You know, I want to encourage you if you feel still some kind of like, oh, like, why did
she say that?
I would just forgive her in that moment.
She probably just didn't handle that super great right out of the gate, but sounds like
she really, really pulled through on that.
But I'm really glad you told her.
And I think just again, ladies, when we bring, when we feel led, you know, and you felt led
to talk to your mom about it.
And we bring these things out of the darkness into the light, there can just be a lot more
healing and a lot more freedom that can come.
And so I'm excited to, to see where this is going to go for you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I feel like I've been a little bit angry or feeling a little bit sorry for myself.
Because I'm like, I'm 44.
This is like taking so many years for me.
So it makes me like a little bit.
I don't know.
But I did a thing at the beach today and did like, you know, forgiving everybody and the
Holy Spirit did bring another situation, a few other situations to my mind.
So I, you know, tried to forgive those people too.
I've had stuff, violations as an adult, but I feel like I've addressed, I mean, I've already
like, I knew of those, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So I didn't, you know, yeah, I did relate with what you were saying about submission
and like getting in a relationship and losing yourself.
So I feel like I, yeah, I have, I was trying to think where I, cause I feel like I do have
this kind of side that doesn't want to submit either.
That's a little bit rebellious.
And I feel like it comes out in the church because I was raised in the church.
Cause I'm self-employed.
I've like been self-employed for 20 years.
Like I don't have anyone telling me what to do.
I hate being told what to do.
But I can't really think of any areas of my life because I'm just like, I set my own schedule
every day.
I do whatever I want.
But I think with church, like I haven't really been in like too much community.
I mean, I attend church and stuff like that, but I've always just kind of gone on my own
and gone home.
And for a long time, I didn't have Christian friends either.
Like I would more like be bringing people to the Lord, but I think I have some wounds
with spiritual authority because of maybe getting taught incorrect things about God
and the law versus like the new covenant and grace.
Yeah.
Well, definitely look into those because as you were sharing, for those of you, and I'm
not saying, you know, I know some people will have seasons where maybe God is taking you
to a sanctuary away from a church to heal and all of those things, but what can happen
unfortunately is God actually created us for community in person, as well as this is an
amazing community too.
And this will be a blessing to you.
But I wrote down needs to get rooted.
So like what I mean by that is the Bible talks about that God wants to plant us in a place
where we can grow and flourish.
And I do believe that, you know, that can be a lot of different aspects, but I do believe
one of those is in a church that's healthy, where we can grow and become a part of a
community where we become known, you know, where we just don't, I've done that before.
When I was going through my divorce, I walked into the church.
I went to the service and I left every week and nobody knew me.
And it felt great because in the years past, everybody knew me, everybody knew my business and I just needed a break, but that wasn't where God wanted me to stay.
Because not only do I receive a blessing when I am known by other people and I allow myself to get to know them, but I also have an opportunity to be a blessing to them.
Right.
So I want to encourage you to just look at that a little bit with the Lord.
Like what, you know, when is the first time someone in the church, you know, did or said something that was hurtful or led you astray or offended you or whatever that might be for you.
And let's just see where the Lord leads you in that.
And then the last thing I was going to say, and then I'll come over to Yash, is that for all of you that struggle with losing yourself in a relationship.
Okay.
The reason that happens is because we don't have our, our own values and thoughts defined.
What do we like?
What don't we like now we can give and take in relationship.
I don't like everything that Brian likes.
Some shows that he likes to watch.
I'm like, man, I don't care about this show, you know, and that's fine.
But if I don't know any of the things that I like or don't like, or who I am, I don't know what my values are.
And I'm not rooted in Christ in my identity.
What can happen is I try to then kind of like a chameleon, right?
Or these little geckos around here in Florida, they change colors when they're on certain things.
Well, we can become like that too, or we lose ourselves and our identity because, you know, the person we're with, well, that's not what God intended us to do.
He intended us to be who we are.
And then that is a blessing and calls out the spiritual DNA in someone else.
So if we lose ourselves, man, that's so much important stuff that the world needs.
Right.
So for you and everyone, let's, let's discover who you are.
So go do, go do some stuff you haven't done in a while.
Get out of your comfort zone.
Try some things out.
What do you like?
What don't you like?
And get to know yourself again.
Okay.
Sounds good.
All right.
Awesome.
Thanks, Bethany.
You're welcome.
Good to see you.
You too.
Yash, go ahead.
Hi, everyone.
So my sharing was with Emily.
So I shared kind of a roadblock I really identified during these few weeks after starting Harvard.
So this is actually because of, I'm the only child in the family and I'm, I was born in a South Asian country in Sri Lanka.
So from small days, what my parents were talking about is, hey, you were born alone and, you know, one day when we are not there, you just need to, you know, find someone and get married because arranged marriages are very common and very kind of high in South Asian countries.
So since the age of 16, that's what I've heard.
I mean, they've tried to bring in arranged marriages when I was 19 and I rebelled.
I said, no, I mean, I want to do it for myself.
And I want to marry for love.
And by that time I have not known the Lord.
And so fast forward to my adult life.
And so as I grew up, I mean, I did have relationships, but I kind of, you know, I realized I always lived in fear.
I didn't introduce the guys that I was dating to my parents up until they kind of came with a ring or something like that, which we did not get to that part where even though one guy, I mean, really went close to
that, but it didn't happen.
So so I mean, when my I remember when my mom got she had a massive heart attack when I was probably 20 in my 20s.
So then she was in the hospital.
I mean, I was just running around getting things sorted.
And what my relatives came, what they said when they came to see me was like, you know, you know, you're alone.
You need to think just get married to someone.
Right. And I felt so pressurized.
I remember that that time so vividly that I said, no, I mean, getting married is not a solution for being alone.
Right. So then fast forward to my early 30s when I got to know the Lord, I knew Lord is there for me.
First and foremost, I have the Lord with me.
And then it's I need to help help myself to understand that Lord cares for me.
And then he cares about my marriage, too, that, you know, there's nothing called forced marriages.
So the beginning of this year, I've been having nightmares.
So the nightmares was about like I go to the.
But with someone I mean I like but then again I run back, you know, it was so crazy.
So then I realized my mother's mother was married, she was married at 15, but it was
a forced marriage, right?
So she was asked to get married like right of out of school at the age of 15.
And her husband was about five years elder, but then again, later on, they I mean, they
worked out they were married for a couple of years, in the sense like he died like pretty
early.
And then, so then I really fasted and prayed and broke the general generational curses.
So then I stopped having those nightmares.
So then after I started hard work, I realized that I had this fear of men that like probably
I had that fear.
And I have that pressurizing kind of feeling to do something that I don't want to do.
And then I've been praying about that.
I've been praying God, please, just crucify all these pressurizing spirits attacking me
through other people.
So that's what I've been trying to do.
So that's my sharing with Emily.
So, interestingly enough, I'm just going to go with what I heard the Lord say.
I don't normally say stuff like this, I'm prefacing it.
So I almost think an idol has been created out of not like allowing anyone to tell you
what to do.
You know?
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, so like it becomes this thing that we like hold up, like nobody's going to tell
me what to do.
Nobody's going to pressure me.
And then what it does is it's going to internalize some things in you because you're partnering
with something that isn't God's intention for you.
Now, did you need to get married when your parents wanted you to get married and arrange
marriage?
I'm not saying that.
But what I am saying is that the more that you partner with, you know, there's pressure,
there's pressure, there's pressure to get married.
And you're believing there's lies that are floating around with that, right?
Because there's things that you're feeling, but there's lies connected to all of that.
And so that's even though you're free of the nightmares, there's stuff on the inside that
still needs healed.
You know, so let's just talk about the, you know, you said tonight a couple of times,
people said over you, you're born alone, you're alone, you're alone, get married.
And so is there some level of I'm alone?
And there's panic around that.
Yeah, I mean, I know even when I got sick, like I had a very bad gastro issue in February.
Like I had palpitations and all that.
And I know because in my job also, like we were going through a global restructure.
So people were losing jobs.
So praise God, I didn't lose my job.
But then again, everything was kind of, you know, at kind of a very high point at that
time.
And then I like palpitation for two weeks, I couldn't sleep.
So because of that, I had a lot of issues.
And I really felt I felt like, you know, even if the palpitation was high, and I fall down,
I mean, people will find out after a couple of days.
So and I'm afraid of being alone when you were sick.
Is that what I hear you saying?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So what were the lies that you were hearing?
Were the lies?
You know, were they I'm going to die alone?
Were they, you know, nobody really cares about me?
What were the lies that you were hearing?
I think the biggest lie that I am, I was believing was that, you know,
God will ask me to marry someone that I'm, I, I'm not attracted to.
Or I mean, when I say I'm not attracted to I'm not looking for a spark, right?
Okay, so sorry, hold on one sec.
So when you were in the hospital, that's what I'm looking at right now.
So when you were in the hospital, and you were, you know, feeling alone, what were the
lies when you were in the hospital, and you were feeling alone?
What were what were the things that you were hearing?
Then from my, from my relatives?
Is that just no, no, I'm saying like, what were you battling with in your mind when you
were in the hospital, and you were by yourself?
Um, because that's, I'm alone.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm alone.
And I don't know whether people would even know if something happens to me, they will
get it to know, get to know after a couple of days.
So if I had a partner, a husband, so you know,
there would be somebody there to kind of attend to me and take care of me.
But then again, I know, I mean, having a spirit mate is not just to take care of each other,
right? There's a whole lot of assignment from God, if you call it.
I'm going to ask you another question here. So I really think there's something to this alone
thing. So when your parents spoke over, over you, you were born alone. What was the intention?
Like, why did they say that to you? For me to be independent.
Okay. Okay. So you were an only child and they wanted you to be strong and, you know, all the
things. Okay. Did you feel connected to your parents growing up? Like, did you feel a bond
with them emotionally, mentally, physically? Yeah. Yeah. They were good parents. It's just
that they had very rigid framework in terms of parenting, but they did show me love. I mean,
there were things that did not go right, that did go right. But you know, I have gone,
walked with the Lord and forgiven for that. So, yeah. Okay. All right. Well, let's just, for now,
I think the big thing is coming out of agreement with the lie. I'm alone and I'm going to be alone,
you know, for a long time, or that God's going to force me to be with someone I don't want to be
with. Again, that's, that's kind of that projecting what our parents kind of, maybe we're doing,
your parents were trying to arrange a marriage before your time, your grandma,
you know, got married really young. And so it's projecting that onto God, that God would do those
things. And so I want to encourage you to come out of agreement with those lies and thought patterns.
But there's something in this alone thing that I feel like God wants to reveal for healing. And so
I just want to encourage you to ask him about that and just see where that leads. And let's,
let's post in the group as God is unpacking that for you, because I feel like that's going to tie
into stuff that maybe you didn't even know was there in you. Not so much in the other people and
things they're saying. Yeah, sometimes, Crystal, in other cultures, that is, they put such an
emphasis on the marriage that it really does create a lot of pressure for people growing up
in those cultures. But, um, but yeah, so look into those with the Lord and let's just see what he
reveals. Um, it might be, you know, again, like these aren't things we can dig up. We have to just pray
and ask the Lord to reveal them for healing. And I like to call it, you want to pull the string.
Like if there's something that comes up, even if it doesn't seem like it connects with what we're
talking about, that you would pull that string. Okay, Lord, I, I'm having this memory or I'm
having this thought. I don't really know what it connects to, but Lord, will you show me
what is it that you're trying to tell me through this thought or this, you know, memory and just
see where those go. So you want to pull the thread ladies and, and then go to the next thing that he
reveals for healing. Cause sometimes as we're trying to get to the root, that root might not
come right away. Does that make sense? Yeah, I understand. Yeah. All right. Awesome. Look forward
to hearing how that is for you. For anyone that needs to jump off, it's nine 33. I want to be,
honorable to your time. Totally understand if you're not able to stay.
I will try to get through as many of you ladies with your hands up as I can. Shakira, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany. Hi. I've had some good experiences with submission. I find that if I feel like the
then I don't have a problem with submission, but I find that a lot of the times, most of the time,
I'm pretty combative. If I don't agree with the person like I growing up my dad was pretty
controlling. So I would argue with him a lot. My mom, she was pretty insecure about herself and
a kind of close to what Alex was saying, how kind of as adults, they weren't acting the way,
you know, you would hope your parents would act. Yeah, I don't know. I think, I guess,
I know that I have to work on like forgiving my mom cause she's, I feel like the hardest one for me
to respect. So was mom
You said are harsh with you. You mentioned that your dad was
harsh with you.
Yeah, it's Yeah, like my my dad was the one that was controlling.
He was like, you're gonna do this activity, this activity.
You can't do this activity because this won't get you into
a college. And like, why are you know, like, if I, I was a music
major for like a semester, and he was like, what are you going
to do with that? Like, are you going to be a music teacher?
You're not, you know, you're not going to amount to anything.
But um, I don't know, I think maybe because I, I, I noticed
sooner that that was the relationship that was harder,
hardest for me. So I think I prayed over that relationship
more. But with my mom, since I started the heart work, I, I'm
starting to realize kind of how resentful I am towards her
because I'm like, people would describe her as like, naive. Um,
she has a problem with her background. I think I shared
with you how, like she doesn't. I'm like, I asked her once, like
if she thought that, like someone who was white was more
worthy than like her and she said yes. So she has problems
with her identity. And she's like been experiencing like
depression, anxiety. And she says, like, since I was younger
and hasn't really tried to draw close to God for help from that
aspect. She's just gone straight to, like a psychiatrist and
she's always anxious and, and there's just stuff like, like
the, like the last time I went to go visit, um, my, I went to
visit in Florida. My mom called me like she's she called me her
second mom. And that was uncomfortable. Because she's
supposed to be my mom, you know. And this year, my grandma, her
mom just passed away. My mom's an only child. And my mom was
trying to my mom and her relatives were trying to put it
on me to go to Jamaica and be there for the funeral and to
deal with the deed for the house. And I was like, I don't
know how to do that. Like, I don't feel comfortable having
that responsibility. And just the other day, my mom was like,
oh, when you have the money, can you please like buy these
sneakers for me and this is my size and this is the color. And
I'm thinking like, she just got remarried. Like I thought her
financial situation would be better. I thought her husband
would, you know, be more accountable, like would keep her
more accountable. And yeah.
So when your mom asked you that about the shoes, did you buy her
the shoes?
I didn't, I didn't. I've, I've, I've been Yeah, I've gotten
moved me to New England. And I learned very quickly that I
would, I used to do everything my parents told me because I was
like, I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to obey my parents. And
then I moved up here when COVID happened. And my dad was asking
me to send money to my mom and brother to like pay rent because
they were renting like, my grandma's house. And I said,
like, I just moved up here. I don't have furniture. I can't,
you know, send money down. Like I have to take care of myself
now. So I started to realize I have to say no. And in this
situation, I almost bought the shoes, because they're only 60
bucks. But what I didn't said was I said, you know, hey, mom,
like, I won't be able to get you the shoes. But I recommend, you
know, putting money aside, maybe each paycheck, to be able to pay
it off. So, um, she responded well to that, I think. But
yeah.
Okay. So I think, absolutely, I would work on forgiving your mom.
And, you know, I think as well, you know, I feel like I should
mention that there is enmeshment that can happen in families. If
you look that up, it's E-N-M-E-S-H-M-E-N-T enmeshment. It
sounds like you're coming out of that, which is amazing. That's
why I asked you like, and not that it would have been the
thing in the world if you had bought the sneakers, okay. But
there are definitely boundaries the Lord is leading you to set
that are healthy for you so that you can move forward. But what
can happen is when we grew up in enmeshment, where there weren't
a lot of boundaries, where there was a lot of triangulation, like
kind of what's happening.
as your mom is now kind of putting you in her mom role and that, that just changes the dynamics
in the relationship to unhealthy, um, on all kinds of levels. But as you understand, like,
as you grow and heal, the enemy might use her to try to kind of grab, to try not intentionally to
hold you back, but she doesn't know how to let go. She doesn't sound like she really knows how to
have a healthy life. Um, and so it will be important for you to really know what your
boundaries are, what, you know, where the enemy doesn't torment you because you're a Christian,
you have to do this and this and this and this and this, and it's never enough. It's never enough
where you really are. Okay. Like this is ways I can help my mom. This is stuff I can't do.
Um, you know, you can even lovingly say to your mom, when she says things like,
um, you know, you're like my second mom, no mom, I'm your daughter.
Um, so I'm not going to step into the mom role. Okay. And that might mean you might have to not
mom your mom. Yeah. Literally sometimes what can happen ladies is when our parents aren't
living like adults and making adult decisions, we try to parent them. Okay. And not that that's
case for you, but you might have to watch that because she might be trying to put you into that
role. And you might say, I used to do it. I, and like one of the things that I don't know how to
stop is my parents coming to me about my younger brother, who's an adult. And I think I've tried
at least telling my mom it's it's, I don't know how to do it with my dad, but I think I asked like,
you know, if they could stop telling me about what's going wrong with my brother, but they
kind of just ignore me. Um, so one of the things, and this can be really tough. So I just want you
to know that on the front end, but when my parents would do that, it got to the point,
they didn't honor my boundaries either. And so ladies learning boundaries and learning what to
do when people don't honor our boundaries is also very important. Okay. So I wasn't mean,
but when my parents would start talking about my siblings and they did not honor my boundary,
because I had already told them multiple times, I would say like, I'm going to give an example.
I'll use my dad, dad. Remember I told you, I'm not going to have conversations about Brian. And
I don't want to talk about this. If you continue to talk about Brian was my brother. If you continue
to talk about Brian, we're going to have to end this phone conversation or in-person conversation
or whatever that was. And, um, if he got mad or whatever, and he continued to do it, I would say,
dad, I really love you, but I'm going to have to hang up now. And that is how I had to do it.
It's not easy, but I became healthier and healthier and healthier because I was establishing
a new normal. I was choosing healthy and I wasn't going to get drawn into the drama all the time.
My family lived in drama. They didn't want to come out of drama. And I did not want to live
there with them. And so I had to decide what do I want my life to look like, sound like, feel like,
and what am I willing, where am I willing to bend that? If, if there is a need, you know,
if there's an emergency and there's something that we really do. Okay. Somebody needs help then. Okay.
Yeah. We can talk about that situation with my sibling, but if you're going to gossip about
them and talk about them, the conversation, I love you is going to have to end. Yeah.
And so just start practicing that. It sounds like you're going to have to do some of that kind of
stuff and they may not like it in the beginning or ever, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't
do that for your own health. Okay. Okay. All right. And as, as far as other people and,
and the submission thing how do I like, if I don't agree with someone
and my first instinct is to like, react and be like, no, that's wrong. How do I, I guess,
go about that so that it's not a problem. Like later on, I don't, I don't know how to
First, first, like ask yourself, okay. Is this wrong? Because it's, you know, not in a line.
with God's word, you know, like, is it something that they're asking me to do? That's not healthy
for healthy for me or, you know, in alignment in a good way. Now, the tricky part is we
can't just tell everybody what to do all the time. Okay. So there's a balance there. Um,
if someone is asking you to do something that is against your values, 100% you can stand
up and say, Hey, no, that's, that's not good. Okay. I'm not going to do that. Um, if it's
someone at work, um, sometimes what can be, if they're asking you to do something illegal,
you do not have to agree with that. You do not have to submit to that. Okay. I just want
to make sure I'm very clear on that. But there are times ladies where, you know, we might
not fully agree with every single thing that our spouse is going to do, but if they're
doing it with, in their ability to the best of their ability to honor and love the family
and care for, or even just navigate their own healing and journey, um, you know, I do
think that there are times where God is going to ask us to lovingly pray for them, to share
our heart, to set healthy boundaries, but also to give them grace and not have to like
I said earlier, not always have to be right, you know, and prove that we're right.
Does that make sense? Okay. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you so much for
sharing. Uh, Tatiana, go ahead. Okay. Um, I'm sorry. Hi. Um, so I recently, this is like so
crazy that we're talking about this cause I recently let something happen. Um, but I have
a really hard time submitting to my dad. And I just, as I've gotten older, I've noticed it more
because I like tend to be passive aggressive. And I feel like that's something I really need
to change because like just the other day, um, he like told me something, he like kind of just
got onto me and it was like, he wasn't yelling or anything. It wasn't a bad interaction, but
just every time he says something to me, like, I just want to roll my eyes and just like, like,
I just don't want to hear, I don't care. And the problem with that was I came, I was like walking
inside to my house and I came inside and then I like took it out on my mom because I was angry
with him. And, and then she told me like, I like the very next day we talked about it and I
apologized to her. And she was like, that'd be like, you're passive aggressive. Like you
need to fix that. Um, but I know like, like, I don't feel like I can talk to him. And I feel like
the times that I have tried, I get so emotional and he doesn't take me seriously or like,
like, I just don't know how to present myself well. So I ended up yelling or whatever, and it's just
bad. Hey, so, so I'm going to mute you just for a second, Tatiana, just cause I was getting
feedback and then you can just unmute yourself to talk again. Um, so, um, on some of this, um,
when you unmute, let me know if you live with your dad as well.
Um, but I want to encourage you. Um, there's a couple things, um,
in the rolling eyes. It's so interesting that you're even mentioning this because there's this
woman at our church that literally, if I say something and she doesn't like it, she rolls
her eyes at me. And I just told Brian, this just happened again, Sunday. I was like, she clearly
didn't like what I was saying because she rolled her eyes at me again. Um, and it's really frustrating,
but I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but you know, I know that that's happening in her
because she doesn't want to submit to the authority that God has placed me in, in the church there.
She, she wants to do things her way. And I even said to her like, Hey, we can meet in the middle
here. Like, I'm not saying I'm not listening to what, but like, she just doesn't, she does not
want a woman telling her what to do. It's very evident. So with your dad, I would encourage you
to look at when is the first time you started feeling this way with him, where you just,
you know, no matter what he says, you just are annoyed with him,
feel rebellion, feel disgust, whatever the
feelings are, because I would like you to identify that as well. Just kind of pray like,
Lord, when I'm rolling my eyes, what's really underlying under there?
You know, is it disgust? Is it that I think my dad's a fool? Is it that, you know, I don't want
my dad telling me what to do because I saw my dad hurt my mom? You know, like whatever it is,
that you will be able to, with the Lord, identify what's kind of the source of
the rolling of the eyes. The other thing that I was going to say is that
I want to encourage you to pray about writing your dad a letter about how you think and feel.
Because when you write a letter, you're going to have more time to process your emotions.
You're going to have more time to really identify what it is that you're trying to say.
Now, he may or may not receive it well, we don't know. But I feel like for you to practice,
like writing on paper, what you think, and you don't have to necessarily hand him that paper,
but you can have that paper with you. So that when you go to talk to your dad, it will be a point
you know, like a support for you. It'll help you stay on track. And then when those emotions,
when you feel that, because typically when our emotions go way up, we feel it in our flesh,
and then we just give into it. Okay? The Holy Spirit can empower you to walk in peace.
Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit. And so the more we mature in the fruits of the,
in the Spirit, and we spend time with the Lord, so you might need to pray
and spend time with the Lord before you go visit your dad, you know, and really center yourself.
And it doesn't always have to be these long prayer sessions. Okay? Sometimes that's really
good. Okay? But it might even be like, hey, if you're going to go visit your dad, maybe you need
to put a worship song on the way there. You know, maybe one that's peaceful, that helps you kind of
and, you know, the praise and worship and the happy ones are amazing, but those might not be
the ones to put on before you go see dad. Okay? Because if you're feeling some kind of anxiousness,
it might feed that, even if it's a happy song. So do you live with your dad as well?
Yes, I do. Okay. So you live with mom and dad, and I forget you're 19, correct?
Yes. Yeah. I'm in college right now. All right. I just was trying to remember. So, and I'm not
trying to minimize it, but I do want you to know some of this is normal, that, that change that's
happening because you're, you're a young adult now, and you're still living at mom and dad's,
and it seemed like you really resonated with, did dad hurt mom at some point? And that's when you
started. So I don't know if he said something or did something, but you met, you had an expression
that came up on your face when I said that. And so that, that kind of leads me to think there was
a memory that might've popped up there for you. And so if there were times that you felt like
your dad was not kind or mistreated your mom in some way, what can happen is we can actually take
up an offense for other people. And I have a feeling that you've taken up an offense for your
mom. Yeah. I want to, like, as you were talking about that, like, I want to cry
because like my, my relationship with my mom, like I'm like, we're very, very close to each
other. And I feel like for her in terms of submission, like it's so easy to submit to
her because even if she's like telling me something, I don't want to hear it. Like,
I love her so much that it's like, like, I'll do it for you. Like, yeah, I want to cry right now,
but I definitely do see that, um, that I just, I feel like I see a lot of hypocrisy and just like,
sometimes just the way he talks to her, it's like, she's so smart. She's so fun. Like don't,
don't minimize who she is. And, and I feel like it just makes me mad, but then I don't say anything.
Hey, so I think those are some of the things that might need to go in that letter. And Hey,
I don't want you to feel like you have to give that to him or you have to say it out loud. I
think right now processing how you feel when you're seeing those things happen to your mom
is going to be a really big part of helping you. Um, and then forgiving your dad for the times
that you feel like there is that hypocrisy or he's treating your mom, like she's not smart or
any, any of that stuff. Cause this definitely hit, hit something for you. Um, and so when I
you know, allowed
yourself when you're writing this to feel mad, to feel sad, whatever it is you have to feel,
so that you can really truly surrender your dad to the Lord as well.
Okay. Thank you.
You're welcome. You're welcome. And we're going to be praying for your dad. And you know, you
might find that if you talk to him again, I don't know your dad, but you might find that
he becomes truly repentant for what he's been doing and saying.
Yeah. Thank you.
You're welcome. We're praying for you. Let us know how it goes. If you choose to talk to him,
or even in the, if you don't choose to talk to him, but just write a letter to help yourself
either way, we'd love to hear how that goes for you. Okay.
Okay.
All right. Awesome. Thanks for sharing. Teresa, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany.
Hi.
Okay. I thought I was going to tell you something that felt like it was kind of simple,
but then as we went, God showed me something more that's actually harder to talk about. So
I'm going to do that. I realized that it is easier for me to lead than to be led.
And what I wrote down first was that I saw this vision of like a dog who obeys and catches and
fetches and does all the things, but doesn't want to roll over and show his belly. So being
vulnerable is a struggle, not doing what's being asked. There's not a problem with that. It's the
vulnerable. And it may have a connection with the one thing I was going to say earlier.
When I asked God, when you talked about forgiveness, I asked God, is there anything else
that I haven't forgiven? And with my dad, he is very slow to fulfill what he says he's going to do
or to do the things. And sometimes they just never get done. So there's an anxiousness that
comes anytime I ask something with an expectation that it's likely not going to be done. So God
showed me, yeah, we need to work on that with when I'm asking God for something right now,
and I get distracted easily after I ask. So there's a fear that is coming up and I want to
have peace and trust that my God says he's going to do it. He's going to do it. He's not a God
that's slow to answer. And so I start thinking about that scripture, but still after that even
was when I realized it's easier for me to lead than be led. And I absolutely do not want to
take that into a relationship. Yes. So, you know, I think the best direction for you, Teresa,
is to ask the Lord the first time that you were vulnerable and it didn't go well for you.
Okay. So that doesn't have to be even massively extreme. It could have been that you felt like
your feelings didn't matter that they weren't honored. It could be more extreme. It might
have been that someone actually said something, you know, harmful or hurtful when you were
vulnerable. And it might not even be parents. It could have been a friend. And I'm actually,
have you had something like that happen with a friend? Cause I just saw like, as if someone
came up and hugged you and like, have you ever seen the movie scenes where they kind of like,
makes me even think of a shoot. I'm not going to think, be able to think of the name of,
but where they stab you in the side, they come up close and they stab you in the side,
you know, someone where they, they got up close and there was a level of intimacy and then the
wound happened. And so I want just you to be praying into that. Yeah. Because typically
at some point when we no longer feel comfortable to show vulnerability, it's because vulnerability
was mishandled. That's, you know, at some point in the past or we saw someone else be vulnerable
and then they were mistreated. So if it wasn't you, it could have been someone that you saw
kind of like Tatiana seeing her mom get mistreated. It's causing all this stuff in her,
regarding her dad. And then the other thing is that in, so this happens even in the heartwork.
And so I do want to encourage you all, which I appreciate you helping each other in the chat,
but just remember when you're in the heartwork, you're here to just receive,
Hey, you all aren't here to coach or help anybody. And that was really beautiful. What I saw,
I'll see going on in the chat, but I just want to remind everybody. And the reason I'm, I feel like
this is kind of the Lord, even bringing this conversation up by what you're saying. Some of us,
it's really quite vulnerable to come in the heartwork and take off all of our.
You know, myself included when I came through the heartwork, I wanted to help everybody.
I'm a good helper.
I am.
And so I just wanted to help everybody cheer them on.
I'm a good cheerleader.
I can encourage people and those are great things, but I do that also as a protection
mechanism, because if I stopped doing that, you know, sometimes if you just sit in the
silence, you can actually feel your emotions.
So sometimes I'm so going from one thing to the next thing to the next thing.
And it's not even that I'm not intending to work on the things because y'all, I coach
you all the time.
I think about all the things that God is showing me to work on.
And so what happens, I go and get a massage and God has a way of bringing things out of
us, doesn't he?
And so, you know, what comes to mind is that easier to lead than be led.
There's a level of, I don't trust you to lead me.
I can lead better.
I can do this without you.
You know, there's all these things that come up in us because somewhere along the way,
someone that was supposed to lead us hurt us and they didn't lead so well, if you will.
And so from that point on, we decided, well, I'm going to be the leader here.
So I want to encourage you to come out of alignment with that, that you're the only
one that can lead and that you're not safe when other people lead and start to partner
with that.
I am God defended.
I'm going to come into agreement with interdependence on God.
I can trust you God to lead me really well.
And to do what you say you're going to do and follow through because when we can't,
when our dads or our moms say they're going to do things and they don't follow through
you all, it just causes us to think God isn't going to follow through, you know, just like
them.
Yeah.
So start with those couple things.
Let's see where this leads you.
Um, again, I'm always, I, for some of you, I'm like, okay, it's, it's that it's that
thing.
But for some of you, the others, I'm like, okay, I think that this is going to lead you
to something else.
This is really important and it's going to help you a great deal, but I think it's going
to lead you to some other sources of healing that are a little bit deeper.
That may be because that struggle to turn your belly over and be vulnerable at times,
it's also causing you to, you want to go deep.
You want to heal, but there's a level of, wow.
Like if I really go all in here, what's going to get uncovered, you know?
And so you don't have to be afraid God's going to help you.
And he's going to help you process things and love on you every step of the way.
He will.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing for you.
You're welcome.
Thank you for sharing.
Crystal, go ahead.
Thank you.
This has all been so very, very good.
And that last part was really helpful for me.
I'm kind of a, like, what does it look like?
So when you talk about submission, it almost becomes like this word out here.
I look at the definitions, but I think I'm assessing myself and I'm going, okay, I think
I submit, but do I?
And then I start thinking about like work.
I've been married before.
It wasn't a good marriage, so it's not a good, like, I'm thinking what's healthy biblical
submission.
What are baby steps that I can take?
Almost, it just seems so kind of out there that I'm wondering how do I step into it?
And probably what I would think is like for both you and Annette, what were ways that
you started practicing healthy biblical submission before marriage?
What did that look like?
So you can kind of have a gauge because in your own subjectivity, you think, oh, I'm
doing pretty good.
It really isn't until you get into marriage that you go, oh, I didn't even know what submission
was.
Does that make sense?
It does.
And I think my first response is kind of like what I was saying to Susan earlier.
Are we having trouble submitting at church to other people in authority over us?
How's it going at work?
Am I practicing, you know, even if I don't fully agree with the boss's direction that
he's choosing, am I just rebelling against that?
or am I choosing to honor him because God, you know, I believe God led me to that job
and they're in authority over me. Now, again, there's the balance and wisdom there. You know,
we don't want to go against our values or things like that. But to me, those are genuinely things
that I was doing to practice preparing to also submit in relationship with my husband.
And I think also, you know, in the beginning, even when you're dating, I mean,
there's these opportunities that are presenting themselves to trust the person that you're now
dating to, you know, lead you to, it doesn't mean they're over you like a covering, but like,
even like to just let them pick like a surprise date. I mean, my control freak self in the past,
sometimes it was not super comfortable with that because I've had people mistreat me and
trick me and lie and all this stuff. And so looking at the character of the person,
Brian was trustworthy. So I didn't have to partner with fear to, in a sense, trust him and,
and not submit because I wasn't, it wasn't a big decision over us at the time, but like,
even in that small decision to like, not have to get all the answers.
So would you like, let's say, for example, you gave the example of work we were submitting to
or submitting in his decision-making. And so let's just say, you know, you're finding yourself,
or maybe I submit at work, but then I talk about my boss later.
So then do you start asking yourself questions? Like, how do you get to the root of what is not
like the, the root issue, the lot, the, the center lie, because I feel like it all comes
down to lies and truth. It really does. It does 100%. And Crystal, I think, you know,
as soon as you feel that, that feeling rise up in you, it's like, Oh, hello there. You know,
you kind of take note of it and then you're yeah. When you're making note of it in your phone or
whatever. And when you have time with the Lord, like, Hey Lord, today at work, this, I mean,
he already knows, but I just talked to him. I talked to him. Like he's my friend, Lord,
this happened. And like, even when that happened with that woman yesterday and she rolled her eyes
Lord, that didn't feel good. Like, and that may, I felt some kind of way with it too. So,
Lord, can you show in me, like, what is it in me? That's also getting this feeling of frustration
now, you know, so really looking at, okay, is this because what they're asking me is not healthy
or good, or is this something in me that I just don't want to follow someone else's lead because
a, I think they're wrong. They should have done something else or, you know, what is it in us?
Okay. Another thing to, to look at ladies is, you know, how, how were our parents,
you know, how did our parents, um, work well together? Did the mom complain about the dad
behind his back? Cause you said something interesting. You said, do you, you know,
maybe do I submit at work and then go home and talk about it? So I didn't know if that,
if you meant to talk, you know, about your boss to someone, or if you just met, you know,
talk to the Lord, but it brought up a good point, whether that is what you meant or not,
there are times where we might, you know, kind of save face in that moment, but then go
grumble and complain about it. Right. And that's not healthy either. Yeah. So we have to really
watch what's going on in our heart and look at, okay, where did this come from in me?
Is this something, cause God didn't put grumbling and complaining in us.
That's sometimes I go ahead. I was going to say, sometimes I find that the closer,
like if a lie has, uh, you know, like the neural pathway is well written in my brain,
it's harder to recognize because the conscience will protect that subconscious. It's almost like,
I mean, I hate to say this, but almost feels like I can get with God, but it's so
protected that even the conversation, I mean, just most recently he showed me, he said,
no, that, that isn't what is true in this situation. And he really unveiled a whole
another level of a, I was like, Oh, wow. What you're talking about crystal is when you're
about how there's that kind of fortified place inside, you know, that's what.
what is a stronghold. Okay. So when the Bible talks about strongholds, and a lot of times
I like to kind of think of it like this typically, and it can happen other ways too, but this
is just one of the things I've learned. If I'm hurt in a way, okay, here, and I don't
process it and I don't heal. And even I try to, but maybe there's just still a whole lot
to that. And then something later happens. That's very similar, feels similar, looks
similar inside. Even if on the outside, it's not the same situation, but it feels similar.
It's adding another layer. Okay. And then now I've got two layers. Well then if I don't
heal from those things, well then here comes number three. And then it just keeps adding
and adding. And that's how that can become more fortified and more strong. And so that's
where it's really important for us to keep short accounts, um, with our hearts, with
our attitudes, with our thoughts. That's why I'm saying to you all, like, you know, sometimes
I'm on the go, I'm going so fast. I'm going, I haven't even fully got to deal yet all the
way with what that, that woman rolling her eyes at me. But as I'm coaching you all tonight,
it's coming up in my spirit. And so that's telling me, okay, like I need to spend some
time with that tomorrow because this is not something that's happened one time with her.
This has happened with her multiple times. Now get this, you all in our church in Indiana,
there was a woman there as well. Y'all want to guess what she did? Rolled her eyes, rolled
her eyes at me multiple times. So this is a spirit that's in operation that's happening
and it's manifesting in these women. And then I, it causes me to feel like insecure, like
they don't like me. Why, why is she acting like that? I'm saying something good here.
Like, you know, so there's all this stuff. So it's, you know, I need to continue to hone
in on like, okay, what is really, I do believe it's a spirit of religion. That's trying to
try and doesn't like what I'm saying, because I'm trying to move, help us move forward.
My husband and I were trying to change the culture in the church and not everybody likes
that. Okay. I see deliverance ministry on the horizon. Yeah. Yeah. And so anyways, so
when you're feeling that, like, it feels like it's protected, it's probably because
there's been similar hurts and wounding that have now become a little bit in that strong,
kind of that strong fortified. But as you continue to heal and you just ask God to help
you remember, take down, do not enter signs, Lord, even like, if I don't know how to get
into this area, Lord, will you just help me know, you know, one thing that will start
to bring illumination and freedom to this whole area. Yeah. And he'll walk you through
it. Yeah. Walk you through it. Thank you so much, Bethany. I'm going to have to go tonight,
but thank you. That's okay. So good. Thank you. Yeah. We're going to, we're going to
do our best to close up here as soon as we can, but I want Shelly and Jody to be able
to go. Shelly, go ahead. Sorry about that. All right. I'm going to take my hand down.
I'm new at all this. You're doing great. And you know what? I didn't even really want to
share anything except for the first lady that came on. I forgot her name, Alexandria, or
whatever. Ever since I started heart works, I've heard a lot about their kid, the kids
talking about their parents, what they've gone through as kids. And I've been trying
to think, okay, what kind of trauma have I had? And I've had a good, um, childhood parents
were married forever, childhood, sweethearts, um, went on vacations. I got to play all kinds
of sports, but then I started thinking when she was speaking, cause it's happened more
than once. And I, I'm in that situation. I'm the parent and I've got a 16 year old daughter
and she's the same. I can tell she's struggling with me. And so it hurts and it breaks my
heart because, um, I know her feelings are real. They're valid. And I understand that
as a parent, I don't know what, what to do. So here I am trying to figure out my side.
And so just to give you a little background, like I said, I feel like my childhood was
great. Um, I can't pinpoint anything particular. I was married, um, met my ex-husband when
I was 16, he was 18. We were married for 25 years. We dated for seven. Um, we got a divorce
about three years ago cause he, um, had an addiction and, um, I had to leave his sister
as a missionary to Africa. And she's the one that said that, um, I needed to, and I just
felt like since he was sick, you know, according to your vows, you're not supposed to leave.
But anyway, um, that was really hard for me and to process. And I think, um, my kids,
we all kind of, um, it just, it took the road.
up from underneath us all. And I think we're all trying to figure out what to do. Um, and
so now, and she was going through middle school. So if you can only imagine a teenage daughter,
you know, girl going through middle school and then going through all of this, you know,
being raised in a Christian home and nobody's getting divorced as this and that, I mean,
no drinking, no nothing, just everything flows. And then all of a sudden this. And so, um,
I got lots going on because with everybody that spoke, there's something like even you
with the rolling of the ice. I have that at work too. And, uh, so that's the only reason
why I raised my hand is because I really think that this is a good program. And I remember
when Jackie first was speaking, when I started this, she said that it was just for women.
And then the guys, she heard from some guys saying, yo, you need this for the guys as
they read a book or something. And so she opened it up to the guys. Well, I'm thinking
you need it for like teenage daughters or for families or something, because I've done
there. I shouldn't sit there. I've just gone to counseling with them, but I don't know
if they get to the heart of it, I guess. I don't know, but I'm not saying it's all her.
I think it's on both ends. Um, anyway, that's pretty much all that I've got to say here
because I'm still trying to figure all this out. And I will tell you that the one word,
I think that it was today or another day, it was peace that I chose. I don't know how
many times I've heard peace today. It's like, just like this little confirmation that, uh,
that's what I'm looking for. That's what I'm striving is to have that peace because, uh,
someone mentioned anxious. Yes, I get anxious. And I think it's because I've been with some
and having that thing tore from underneath me, another rug. And, um, you just, I'm, I'm
just in limbo. Like, God, what do you want me to do? Where am I supposed to be? And I'm
trying to be the best mom that I can. And here I am being torn. She's basically saying
I'm not a good mom and she doesn't want her kids to be around me when she has kids, not
that she has kids now, thank goodness. But, um, it's just hard. You know, I've processed
my emotions for the most part. Now I'm trying to focus on her as well as try to keep up
a household. So that's, that's pretty much it. Well, first way to go. You did great.
And I'm so thankful for what you shared. Um, I also just want to honor you for a minute
as a mom and I want to honor all the moms in here. Y'all the struggle is real. Okay.
And God loves you and he loves your daughter and your family, and he's going to help you all
continue to find your way. Um, I remember years ago when I was married, um,
I have a stepson that my now husband, uh, had, he was, his girlfriend was pregnant when I met him.
Never should have continued in that relationship y'all, but I did. So I have a stepson. And, um,
when he was little, he would scream at his mom and say, he hated her.
And I remember one day saying to her, cause I had heard this from someone don't don't just don't
show him emotion now that he was little. Cause if you show him that you feel some kind of way,
he's gonna, he's gonna keep doing that. And, uh, that helped her, but you know, that's tough
when stuff is going on and you can't always do that. Right. And so I would encourage you just
to ask the Lord, um, to reveal what, um, what I'm hearing the Lord say is what's the bridge Lord.
And what I mean by that is what's the bridge God, that, that you want to create between my daughter
and I, in this healing process, Lord. And that, you know, that when he shows you what that is,
you can just start praying into it because, you know, we pray into things a lot of times before
they happen. And the other thing I was going to say to you is the peace thing. I don't think it's
by coincidence that I talked about just, you know, when we submit to God that, you know, he declares
this covenant of peace with us. Um, and so here you are hearing and seeing that word over and over
and over again. And I think that just as you said that tonight, what I thought of, have y'all ever
seen, you know, where there's, I forget what it's called in the ocean, but where it swirls so much
that it, and I don't even know if this really happens, but it's been in little cartoons and
movies, but where it goes and you can see the bottom of the ocean literally, because it's just
a swirl of water. And I used to always think of, you know, certain things like that, but what I saw
for you, Shelly was that you were standing on ground and the Lord was covering you literally
with his peace and the storm, you know, is what was.
swirling around you, but in him, you're covered.
It's like a force field.
And so I believe that that is God's word for you
in this season, that he's gonna help you figure out
how to navigate this new path forward
in ways that you can even ask, think, or imagine.
Like literally, I think your life is gonna be,
you personally, everything might not all be worked out
in the physical yet, but you are personally
gonna be a different person even six months from now.
And so I wanna encourage you just to continue to pray
and intercede for your daughter, pray for that bridge,
and let's see what God shows you regarding this.
And then the other thing I was just gonna say
is that regarding the rug pulled out from under you,
I 100% understand that, I have felt that in the past,
but my concern for you in partnering with that statement
is that a lot of times what will happen
is the enemy will tell you the same thing
is gonna happen again if you go into another marriage.
The rug's just gonna get pulled out from you,
the other shoe is gonna drop, okay?
And so I wanna encourage you just to be careful
and come out of alignment with,
you know, like the enemy's tactics
and that in the future,
you're gonna experience the same things.
Again, it doesn't mean that it's not how it felt to you,
but we have to be careful in how we think about things
and process them so that we don't partner
with a lie in the process, does that make sense?
Yes, it does, I appreciate you, thank you.
You're welcome, thank you so much for sharing.
Jodi, go ahead.
Thanks for staying on so I could share.
You're welcome.
I would definitely say I'm not someone
who struggles with submission.
In fact, probably to the other extreme
was more of a people pleaser growing up
and really had to like work through breaking that
kind of off of myself, you know,
growing up and just in my maturing.
But just as I was sitting here trying to just ask the Lord,
is there anything you wanted to reveal?
I kind of was like, okay, where am I not giving my like,
yes, you know, where is there any resistance in me?
And so I kind of just reframed it for myself
so that I wouldn't disqualify myself from the conversation.
And it happened to just highlight
and kind of reframed the one thing
that I'm really struggling with, like literally right now.
And it's that I have this opportunity
where I've been invited to become an elder at my church.
And that's a huge like honor.
And it's at a very big church, actually,
we have four locations.
And so it's, and we just transitioned
from the founding pastors to the new pastor.
So it's the new pastor who reached out to me.
And so it's a really neat thing.
And I've been wrestling with this in giving my yes.
And I like, I live giving my yes very radically to God.
I became self-employed straight out of school
because I knew God called me to it.
Like, so I'm willing to do things afraid
and scared and courageously and all of that.
So this is, it stood out to me as like,
why am I so hesitant?
And I realized that a big part of why I'm hesitant
is he kept saying to me, you're an elder for life.
And then they want, you know,
like this initial three-year commitment and all of this.
And here I am trying to stir up this faith in me
that I can be willing to like believe
that I could get married.
And who knows what God could do with that.
And so this yes, it brought up this fear
that if I give my yes, I could be saying, wow,
I could be saying no to getting married
because I'm not gonna tell yes to them
and be an elder for life or even just give the three years
and also try to believe
that this could be my last year single.
And so that was a weird thing
because it's like, I would be submitting to the church
like in a different level.
And then I found out today that like legally in my state,
I'm now, I would be even like legally responsible
for the decisions made at our church, not the pastor.
And so it's like a whole nother level
of like submitting to the role.
And again, like I said,
we have thousands of people at my church
and it's a small board of people that I would be.
like on the active board so it's a kind of like a whole different way of thinking and i'm really
trying to figure out i couldn't figure out why i was struggling with this yes because i've never
really resisted giving god a yes especially something that you you shouldn't say yes to
something like you shouldn't resist this like that's an honor you know well okay i i want to
i want to have you pause there for a second i'm not saying you shouldn't do it but i am
going to also encourage you to we shouldn't always say yes to everything that's asked of
us in the church even when it's an honorable role if god isn't calling you to that in this
season of your life then that isn't god's best yes for you and that might be why you haven't
felt led to say yes right now because the reality is ladies if we are giving which
supernatural saturday was about capacity if we're giving our capacity to something else it doesn't
mean we're going to miss out on our spirit mate if god is calling you to that awesome go for it
because god's going to bless that tremendously but i don't think this is just fearing you i think this
is actually some discernment because you're looking at all the layers of what it really
involves for you to commit to this that's a good thing you're being a good steward of your heart of
your word of your commitment and that is amazing um and so i would encourage you to keep praying
don't feel pressured is this like something you have to tell him yes in a certain timeline i'm
assuming yeah like he kind of was like if you can tell me in the next couple weeks if i don't hear
from you i'll certainly reach out because i'll want an answer so you have a couple weeks at
that's good i was hoping i was just wanting to make sure it wasn't something like you got to
tell him in a few days so let's just take a couple weeks i would encourage you to be in proverbs
reading wisdom you know read the book of james but i want to also like kind of where i started
is caution you on allowing the enemy to guilt you into doing it because this isn't something you
ever say no to well there are times that even paul quit doing what he was doing to give the
mantle to someone else you know and there were times that he didn't get involved in certain
things you know and even jesus you know when the religious religious leaders were saying certain
things to him he didn't just always go do what they were saying so just think about that a little
bit because i want to make sure that there's not a spirit of religion trying to guilt you into
doing something i want you to go in because you feel at peace about it you feel um again now we
might not always feel like um like have all the things like we're scared of worked out but we
should feel excited about something one of the things that i have this has happened to me and
it's okay if this doesn't happen for you but when i am called into something and it really is the
lord my heart will burn like how jesus met the man on the road to emmaus and their hearts burned with
did not our hearts burn within us that's what they said when they realized who had been with them
okay and so there's a level of calling and anointing on things and a grace and a favor
and if we step into those things before that grace and the favor and the calling are there
just because someone's asked us then we can get into tricky waters okay and here's the thing
um i don't want you to feel like you have to be an elder for life like as in you're just committed
to that church forever so that's something that you need to ask them more about is that just
because he's saying like in in our church in our denomination once someone's a pastor they're
always honored as a pastor so he could be saying it in that way okay so let's discover more of what
that actually means okay does it mean that once you're an elder and you serve you're just always
going to be honored as an elder in the church which is probably the case but let's find out
and make sure that we understand what that means okay yeah because i think that i if i didn't have
if i wasn't in this process allowing myself to have the faith to that you know i could get married
yeah i don't think i would have as much hesitancy i think i would be like because i've been here at
church for over 20 years yeah so i wouldn't be but i know that if i do that and i'm locking in
and committing even committing just the three years that they asked me to be on the board initially
That's like, now I have to say I'm unwilling to move,
you know, because I'm committed.
And that's the part that makes me scared of like,
am I saying no to this if I say yes to the elder thing?
Well, and here's something
that you should consider, Jodi, okay?
Every couple of years, churches,
or depending on when, you know,
they have rotation of elders on and off, okay?
Yeah.
Your no doesn't have to be a not ever.
It could just be not right now.
Yeah.
And if that leader holds that over you,
never ask you again because of that,
because you don't feel like the timing is right,
then that's not healthy, okay?
Because just because we, again,
just because a leader asks someone to do something
doesn't mean that person has to feel
that it's the right season for them.
That's true leadership,
where then that leader gives that person grace
and blesses them and, you know,
you know, goes on their way, if you will,
and loves that person.
But you know what I'm saying,
where there's not this control and stuff happening.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So we'll be praying for you,
looking forward to hearing what you, you know,
as God is leading you, what you,
what he shows you and seeing how that goes for you.
Ladies, I'm gonna close this out.
I'm gonna pray real quick.
Father, thank you so much for this amazing night.
Thank you for every story that's been shared.
Thank you for the breakthroughs, the revelation,
the healing that's taking place.
God, we thank you for your hedge of protection around us
and our families.
We, God, we ask you to give us back, you know,
even days where we are doing things for you, God,
that you'll just continue to meet us there and bless us
and pour back into us, God, in the heartwork
that you would help all of these ladies
to hear what your spirit is saying
louder than any voice of the enemy.
God, we thank you that you would, yes, Lord,
help them to continue to see themselves
the way that you see them,
that their identity would be in you, God,
and they would love themselves really well this week.
In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen.
Good night, everyone.
Have an amazing night.
Bye-bye.
Bye.