All right. I finally got it to record. Awesome. All right, ladies, welcome. This is August
26. Yeah, August 26 already. This is your one o'clock Tuesday check-in for Love Story
Accelerator. It's so good to be here with you, ladies. Do I have anybody that is new
to Phase 2? New to Love Story Accelerator, this is the first time on this call. Yeah,
that's me. Or Patty and Carmen. Okay. Or maybe this is even your first time to one
o'clock. Maybe you typically go to the eight o'clock, and today you had the ability to
come to one o'clock. This is my first time in the Phase 2. Awesome. Well, welcome. We're
so happy to have you here. Just to kind of run through here what we do, this is kind
of, we call it like the dating for discovery phase, but don't panic if you're like, I don't
know if I'm ready to jump in the dating pool yet. We have women that kind of take a little
time. We have women that just go in and deep dive. It's totally at your own pace. We never
want you ladies to feel rushed. We really want you spending time with the Lord and letting
Him guide you and direct you and revealing to you what it is that He wants to heal in
your heart, what He wants to reveal to you, what He wants to invite you into partnership
with Him. So never, never feel rushed. And just keep in mind, like when we're coaching,
you know, we're always coaching to the group, but sometimes we might be coaching to one
person and it really just is to their situation. And you might have a similar situation, but
it's going to look a little different. Does that make sense? Okay. So I do want to give
you some brief reminders here. Constantly be checking that resource page. We're always
adding stuff in there. So whether it's like a last year, single trip, whether it's our
one-on-one coaching opportunities, anything like how to move over to the next phase, once
you've completed Love Story Accelerator. Okay. Remember you want to watch one video per week.
Okay. That's the best practice. Again, like I shared a moment ago, don't rush through it.
So if you need to process one video every two weeks, totally fine. Okay. We just ask that you
don't like fire hose yourself with all five videos. Does that make sense? Or you might do
that and then you're like, okay, I just want to get it all in and then go back and like,
your time with replays. All right. I was just sharing here a moment ago with Carmen that,
you know, sometimes you can always go back and replay and you'll hear new information.
The second, the third, fourth time around. So don't ever hesitate to do that. Sometimes
as coaches will even direct you like, hey, you know, if you post something and we're like,
you know, I think you're going to benefit if you maybe re-listen to Divine Feminine,
that might help you out. Like, and see what the Lord speaks to you there. Okay. So just
keep that in mind. Also ladies, when you're posting in our app, we need to just remind you,
and I think you would have had this in heart, heart work in phase one, do not make posts that
link any videos, websites, any sort of links that will link anybody to another author, an influencer,
a speaker, a pastor. We just don't have the resources and the capacity to vet out all of
those links, all those videos. And we always want to make sure that they're in alignment with what
Jackie teaches here at Last Year Single. Not that what you post doesn't align with it. We just can't
always vet it out. So if you happen to do that, we do have to remove that post. And we'll probably
send you a message. So like, Hey, this was a great post. Here's the content that you shared.
This was really great to share, but remove the link or remove the video. And so we'll do our
best to reach out to you, someone from the team. Okay. So, but so make sure your emails are up to
date as well. Cause if I don't have your email, I have a few, sometimes I have access to a few
to quickly send a notification. And then just remember you cannot personally message any of
the coaches and stuff like that. We do offer one-on-one coaching sessions for like, if you
need just more in-depth work on.
a situation or something heartwork that you might be experiencing or a dating situation,
then we do have available to purchase 50-minute sessions for that. But we can't just take random
messages. We leave that for the app for y'all to make posts, and then myself and Ebony will go in
there and comment. Sometimes Bethany will also comment as well. So just keep that in mind.
Um, what else? What else? What else? What else? Yeah, this is another thing. So we have two
sessions on Tuesday. We have our one o'clock Eastern and our eight o'clock Eastern. I want
to encourage you ladies, like, I don't want you to force yourself to go to both. If you can't,
like, I get it. We all have busy lives. If you can at least make it to one, you're going to
is if you can make it to one and you can't make it to the other at some point in your week,
go watch the replay. Because this time, these sessions are literally a majority of the time
we spend taking questions directly from you. So you're going to have somebody on an eight o'clock
ask a question that somebody here in the one o'clock didn't ask that could actually help and
replay. Okay, cool. Awesome. Do I have any other newbies? I see a lot more people jumping in. I see
Allah here. Karina, good to see you. Liz, Stephanie, my girl, Stephanie, Alicia. Alicia,
you look you look new to me. Are you new to this one o'clock? Or are you new to phase two altogether?
Yes, Kelly, you're welcome. We didn't always do that. And so I think over time, you're like, look,
it's going to be really beneficial to to share and replay both sessions. So I'm I'm glad that we did
that too. Awesome, Alicia. We're so glad to hear have you here. Fantastic. Okay, well, I'm going to
quickly just get us in prayer, then we're going to go over the activations from last week and what
I'm going to encourage you ladies to do this week. I think it'll be fun. But we'll see.
I have fun giving this activation. It was helpful for me. I know sometimes people are like,
oh, wow, it brings up some stuff, but it's all good. So I can't wait to share that with you.
And then we'll get to your questions. All right, Heavenly Father, I thank you for your wisdom,
Lord. I thank you that you're always in partnership with us. You're always,
you know, just one step forward away from us. You know, I just thank you for the encouragement and
the invitations for us to just walk alongside you and partner with you, even in the difficult times,
even in those moments that, you know, just seem impossible or that we're just not going to get
there. Lord, you see the whole and we only see in part. And so I thank you that you just have the
patience and the kindness and the gentleness to continue to show up each day for every single one
of us and just walk us through a more intimate relationship with you that's going to continue
to bring us closer to our spirit mate, Lord, and that when we do find our spirit mate,
you're going to still be with us. You're going to be in all of those times and trials
and excitements and celebrations. And I just thank you. I thank you for the gift of marriage.
I thank you for the gift of every single one of these spirit mates that these ladies are to
their husbands. I thank you for their husbands that are going to be their spirit mates. Lord,
you're so intentional with your plan. You know, you love us so much. And I just thank you
for this, the grace and the mercy and the just loving on your children. Lord, I just,
you know, help open up the hearts of these women. Lord, if there's any one that's lacking hope,
Lord, I just ask that you just refresh their hope. Breathe in a new hope into their spirit.
Lord, we just ask a hedge of protection and cover any of the enemy's lies and schemes
that you will expose those lies so that we can break off those untruths and we can start pouring
in your truth and your word because it is good. And I thank you for that in Jesus name. Amen.
All right.
We got lots of ladies on today.
I got 15 of you right now, that is good.
So last week, I didn't see very many posts
about the activation that I gave you guys last week.
And I'm curious, did any of you find
any gold in men last week?
No, I prompted that out of some of you.
Anybody?
Did we forget about the activation?
Ladies, if you can come on camera,
that would be super helpful.
I know some of you are driving,
but it is helpful for us to come out of hiding.
I got my girl Anna and Patty and Janie and Kathy,
I see your beautiful faces.
I know sometimes it's the middle of the workday, I get it.
Thank you, Karina, it's so good to see you too.
You've been keeping us posted in the app, so good, so good.
Gotcha, Stephanie, I totally get it.
If you are at work and you absolutely can't,
I'm not gonna reprimand you.
But if you can, just stretch yourself
and show us your beautiful faces.
Thank you, Carmen, yes, she's driving.
Janie, it looks like she's driving too.
I had my girl Sam driving, so, so good.
So again, did anybody find any golden men?
A male coworker lent Kelly an umbrella
when it was pouring and offered to walk you in the car.
See, that's wonderful.
Ladies, men want to help.
It is like built in them.
You will be surprised.
If you go ask a man for help,
it will literally light up his day.
So last week I gave you ladies this prompt of,
let's start seeing men as gold, okay?
And I know for some of us,
that's gonna stretch us a little bit
because we've been hurt by men.
I completely understand that.
But we're looking for God's divine design of man, okay?
And so we want to make sure
that we're posturing our heart in that way
and that we're open to receiving the good men
that God has out there.
And it doesn't always mean it's a spirit mate.
Ladies, I can't tell you how many really decent, great men
I had the opportunity when I was in this program
to get to know and go on dates.
You know, and after one date, I was like,
okay, probably not my spirit mate,
but it was really a pleasure to talk to them
and get to know them.
There were some really good qualities that I really valued.
And so it was just opening my eyes
of what is it that is attractive in men to me?
And I'm not talking about just the looks, y'all.
When I was in my 20s, looks were a huge thing for me.
And when I came to this program, God told me,
he's like, it's not the outside, it's the interior.
And he's like, I'm gonna start showing you the interior.
So as I started working on my inner self,
and my inner healing, and my inner identity,
and value, and worth, God began to enlighten me
and show me the inner hearts of his sons.
And I had the pleasure of really getting to know
some really great guys.
And then two years into this program,
I had the honor of meeting my husband
through actually one of the women in this program.
She was on the lookout.
She's like, hey, what do you think about this guy?
And I was like, yeah, he's okay.
Again, I wasn't looking at the outside.
I was looking, I mean, I saw him and I'm like,
okay, he's decent looking.
I was not drawn to him physically.
But I'm like, you know what?
I'm gonna open my heart up to just getting to know people.
And for three weeks, I wanted to cut and run
as I was getting to know him.
We were long distance, and within three weeks,
he did fly to come visit me.
And y'all, I was wanting to cancel the date.
I was ready to cut and run.
I was afraid I was seeing red flags
when really maybe they were just yellow
and then I was waiting for an opportunity
for them to turn green.
And lo and behold, they turned green and I am married now.
So, and I always joke with him like, yeah, I don't know.
I wasn't really feeling in the beginning.
And then, you know, God really challenged me
and invited me into some deeper healing.
And it's been a huge blessing.
So just keep that in mind, ladies, okay?
So for this week's activation, are you ladies ready?
No one looks excited.
All right.
So I was catching up on some posts this week and I really saw this theme of just some of us are
Getting a little hopeless right now. Am I right? Is there anybody raise your hand if you're like, okay?
I some of my hope has been a little bit depleted
And now there's some of you. Okay, I get it. Y'all I was in this program for over two years before I
Connected with my husband. All right
This is it's the it's the ebb and the flow. Okay, it's and honestly in those moments where we're feeling a little bit down. I
really want to encourage you ladies just to press in to the Lord and
Really see what his invitation is to do in your heart
Okay, sometimes it's just an indicator
That we're you know, needing to realign ourselves closer to the father. Okay, I always say yes the husband was
The husband was the bonus in this program
But the greatest gift was the intimacy that I built with the Lord that I didn't know even existed
like I
Never knew I could get any closer to my heavenly father
Then I then that if it wasn't for this program
Honestly, and you know, he continues to grow me continues to grow me closer to him even in marriage
So just ladies be prepared for that. Okay, he's gonna grow you when you get married
He's gonna grow you even closer to the father. So like it's just I just get excited for that. Okay, so I want to
Ignite your hope again and start partnering with God's Word that you are a bride
All right. So this is something that I did through the two years of being single in this program
so I'm
Activating you ladies. You spend time with your heavenly father and ask him to take you on an adventure
To activate your inner bride
Okay, I mean you might be like well, what's that mean? Okay. So here's some examples
All right. I did some of these. All right
I did some of these just came to me today
Some of these I did myself and I can go into a little bit about that here in a minute. So maybe
Look for a bride show in your area
Attend a bride show
They have conventions and all that kind of stuff
Go shopping for stuff that you're gonna need on your wedding day
That one could be a lot of fun
Okay, and you'll be surprised what God highlights and shows you
Go try on a wedding dress
Fun fact I bought my wedding dress before I ever met my husband
I
Was on the Austin retreat in
2021
May of 2021
Me and 24 other ladies with Jackie and David
we all flew to Austin and Jackie took us on an adventure to a bride boutique and
25 of us women tried on wedding dresses y'all and a handful of us
Actually bought our wedding dresses
I never thought I would have done that
but it did something it activated this identity of pride in me that I cannot even describe and so when I
did get married I actually did wear the dress that I bought and it was
It was awesome. And then some of the ladies that were at the bridal boutique with me
They were invited to my wedding. And so it was just really a great moment to share
So I encourage you ladies like pick some single friends
Maybe some family members that are gonna encourage you and that are gonna like pump you up
To go do these things with okay, you don't have to do these things alone
Okay, but do it with someone who's going to be encouraging and lift you up
We don't want any negative Nancy's going with you. Okay. Sorry if your name is Nancy
All right
So do that some other things that I put on here think of songs that you want played at your on your wedding day
That was that was fun for me
like
Once I knew my husband was gonna be my husband. God prompted me to just
Spent I think I don't only think I went to bed that night. He just had me up
like
serenading me if you will God was serenading me through music and
highlighted songs
That were played in my wedding ceremony
And you know and even I
Still hear them and they just will always like bring up like good emotions and even my daughter will be like a mom
This is this is the song that was that you know your wedding
And so she gets excited for that. I have two sons as well
They don't get as excited as my daughter does. I think it's it's a it's a female thing
So go do that, go try some cake flavors.
This I didn't do, but I'm like,
I don't know about you all, but I love cake.
So why don't I go try some cake flavors
and get an idea of what maybe I want on my wedding day.
Create a Pinterest board for inspiration
of what you want your day to look like.
I did that.
Go try on engagement rings.
That's a lot of fun.
I did that a few times.
I didn't go with any friends though.
I probably would do that differently
and would go with some friends.
I think I had my youngest, my son,
my biological, my little with me.
He was kind of like our mascot here at Last Year's Single
for a long time when I first started.
Like he was always in the background
saying hi to the ladies.
But, you know, I took him along with me too.
So, you know, invite your children in on this as well
because it's their love story.
I wasn't even planning on saying this,
but I don't know, like Holy Spirit
just put that on my heart.
Ladies, I can't tell you how God used my son
to speak to me about my spirit mate.
You know, God was showing me,
look, this isn't just your love story.
This is your son's love story.
And your son is ready for it too.
I think my son was ready for me to get married
before I was even ready to go date.
I would pick him up from his dad's
and we'd be driving in the car and he'd be like,
hey mom, do you have a ring on your finger?
I'm like, no, what do you mean?
Oh, I just thought maybe you got married while I was gone.
Y'all, he was only gone for one night every two weeks.
I'm like, honey, you're gonna know, okay?
It doesn't just, you know, one night you go off
and then bam, mom's married.
I'm like, we don't wanna rush things that fast, okay?
I'm like, but you know, God used that.
And God even showed me that my son, you know,
was open to having me be married
and was asking me like, can I call him dad?
Y'all, this was before I even was really dating anybody.
I was just beginning this program.
Like he didn't know I was even in this program.
Like this was before he just knew,
like I'm telling you, God used my son to speak to me.
So invite your children into it as well.
But again, spend time with Holy Spirit,
because again, this is not just your love story,
it's your kid's love story too, okay?
So make sure that Holy Spirit leads and guides you on that.
Yes, Stephanie, I get it.
I get, I know, ladies, I know some of you,
this is gonna be a little bit hard, okay?
I can't say that it's gonna be easy for everybody.
For some of you, it will be hard.
When I went to the Bridal Boutique,
we had, there was a handful of us
that it elicited a lot of emotions and feelings.
But what I will say is that healing took place
in those moments, okay?
Like I tried on a dress and then I decided to buy it
and y'all, like, something came over me.
There was healing that, and it was tied to my mom,
because my mom wasn't there for me,
but I had a strained relationship with my mom.
And so it allowed me the opportunity
just to go through and into some heart work
and some deeper healing with my mom.
Okay, so now you ladies might have a different reason
why it's gonna be a little difficult for you.
I just want you to spend time with Holy Spirit.
Again, don't rush this, don't rush it.
Allow the Lord to kind of highlight to you
and help work in your heart with what he wants to do.
So this is just to activate you.
So it may activate you to go into a deeper relationship
with the Lord where he's gonna reveal some more areas
that he wants to heal your heart.
Okay, but Stephanie, thank you so much
for being vulnerable and sharing that.
I get it.
You know, I 100% get it, okay?
All right, ladies.
So enough with me chatting about all of that stuff.
I'm gonna open the floor up to you all
to ask all your questions.
Remember, they can be dating situations,
they can be content from our videos,
it can be heart work related, it can be anything.
What is God revealing to you?
And okay, that's a good question.
What if you don't want a big wedding?
That's totally fine.
Totally fine.
I always thought I wanted a big wedding
and then when push came to shove, I was like,
okay, it might need to be a little smaller.
I always thought I was gonna.
get married in Florida, and then last minute,
and that was the plan.
I was gonna get married in Florida.
My husband was in Texas, I was in Florida.
And then, God led me to get married in Austin, Texas,
and we live in Dallas-Fort Worth area.
But he had a lot of family in that Austin area,
it's where he grew up.
So something prompted me just to go ahead
and get married in Austin,
and I had a girl from this community
who was a wedding planner.
God love her, she kept me afloat
in those wedding planning months,
and was really, really helpful.
So yeah, just allow yourself to dream and get inspired.
Okay?
Sound good?
All right, I got three questions with their hands raised.
Ladies, don't be shy, all right?
Sarah, I'm gonna go with you first.
My dear, how are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Good.
I'll step outside.
I'm always working during the workday.
I get it.
It's hard.
I just wanted to share an update,
and then just get a little feedback.
So went on my third date
with someone that I'm honestly feeling very excited about,
because I have gone on a lot of dates.
I was one that was like,
yeah, sure, I'll dive head first, let's go.
And so, at first I thought the seven date thing
was gonna be hard to achieve,
but again, when you go into it with a different heart,
it really isn't.
And so, yeah, I'm excited.
This is the first godly man that I have met through,
I'm talking, I got divorced in 21, January of 2021,
and I started dating in like 22.
So, I mean, we're talking what, three, four years.
Some of that obviously being
after doing the heart work this year.
But yeah, I'm super pumped about it.
We, so far, of what I've learned,
just align on what we're looking for.
He's masculine, he's mature, he's marriage-minded.
Yeah, so I'm just, I'm feeling encouraged.
Good.
Because, like I said, this is the first one
out of many, because I've gone out with men
that say like they believe and this and that,
but they just, you know,
they're at a different place in their journey.
And so, this is the first one I've met
that like him and I are like, we bond over worship music.
Like I've served on a worship team.
He currently serves on a worship team.
So, it's like, it's really refreshing.
Yeah, this is good.
All good things I'm hearing.
Yeah, yeah.
Very good.
And it's honestly helped me a lot.
Some of the ladies, I don't know if any of her here today,
because I've been talking to you and Ebony
about the one that I had ended up crossing boundaries with,
that I've been able to get quiet
and like get alone with God on it
as far as those old childhood wounds coming up
and kind of wanting to take part of like fixing other people
and being there for other people.
And I feel encouraged this time too,
because I am starting to be able to detach from that
and realize like I can care about this person,
but that doesn't mean it's mine to carry.
Yes.
And that even though I really do care about him,
we don't align.
Yeah.
Whereas before I think I would have gotten way more enmeshed
in a dynamic like that.
So, I do feel encouraged that I'm able to take a step back
and look at them like objectively,
you know, kind of like, okay, what does Sarah need?
Because I've always been like, well,
I mean, my counselors have always been like,
you're always worried about like
what my ex-husband would need, right?
Like when I was married,
you're always worried about what he needs.
Like people pleasing, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
And I would look at her like she had five heads.
Like, what are you talking about?
What do you mean?
Like, what do you mean?
What does Sarah need?
It's a broad concept to think about myself,
especially if you're a mom.
I'm like, no, what's best for me is what's best for them.
Yes.
So, it's really neat.
But actually, it's the other way around.
Yeah.
What's best for them is what's best for you.
Like it's a balance.
It feels so self-centered.
I get it.
But I know I'm thankfully, I know deep down,
it's like, not boo, it's not.
You know, that's the old patterns.
Yeah.
But I do feel really good about being able
to like emotionally detach from that experience
with this guy and take a step back and be like,
this guy, I have two men standing like in front of me.
One just wants to be my friend anyway.
He's not in a place to date.
I respect that and honor that, but I do like him.
But also, he's just not where,
he's not what I'm looking for.
Yeah.
And then there's this other one that's standing
in front of me.
I'm like, so far, he's checking what I'm looking for.
And that feels really good.
So, how long have the two of you been,
like you've gone on three dates,
but from when did you first?
started talking to now going in three dates like how long was just 11 days 11 days okay yep
he lives about an hour away okay are you all going and meeting in person are these three
in-person dates are we doing video dates these have been three in person and then we've done
two face times that have been about 30 minutes okay is he coming to you he has the last three
times and then this next one that we have set up is at this like garden it's called
Bellingrath in Mobile Alabama I love it because I love nature and it's just this huge like outdoor
nature place and so that's near where he lives and I'm going to meet him there Friday good okay
good I like that now you're like after three dates you're willing to go there too ladies
don't be afraid after a few dates like especially if you're doing long distance to kind of
reciprocate that we do yeah then to show initiative to kind of you know lead in that
area but you know now she's been on three dates so now again she's gonna continue to get to know
him so 11 days is pretty quick okay yeah but you sound like you're in a very good healthy space
so I'm not overly concerned about that at all I like that you're you're recognizing the fruit
that he has that he's got the three Ms and ladies that are new the three Ms means they're
masculine not the world's view of masculine okay the divine masculine okay which if you haven't
got to the divine feminine video Jack Jackie briefly touches on what the divine masculine
is so think of how God designed man in the garden before the curse what was what qualities and
characteristics does a man have in him that is in the image of God okay and then remember then
God pulled female out of Adam and put certain qualities and divine things in us as females
okay so things like for men it's going to be they are just wired to be protectors and providers
okay not just financial provision but provide in many other ways okay and to protect you to
kind of cover you because again you have God that covers all of us then the man is the covering over
his wife and then underneath her is the children so he's covering all of that but again he's being
covered by God as well okay so keeping that in mind so um so it's masculine divine masculine
okay it doesn't mean that they're going to be perfect ladies I really feel like some of us
need that reminder these men are not perfect but how do they treat you how do they treat others
how do they show up this isn't just about our feelings this is about what is the true character
and heart of these men that you're encountering okay men are going to have yellow flags
us women have yellow flags all right and you're going to see those things even in marriage
like it's you're continuing to grow into your intimacy with the Lord and each other
so don't like if you see a yellow flag it's don't cut and run all right bring it here
let us know what's happening okay so I don't know I know I'm kind of getting sidetracked here
but just keep that in mind all right divine masculine isn't always perfection okay
um they're mature do they handle their business do they you know and again this doesn't always
mean that they're perfect but do they have a teachable heart are they mature are they getting
wisdom and counsel from other people that they look up to are the people that they're looking up
to good quality people these are things that you're not going to notice or even find out
sometimes in the first couple of dates and that's fine too um and then is he marriage-minded okay
does he have goals does he have a plan all right is he you know talking about a future
all right and I know for some of us avoidance that might freak us out
when men start kind of talking about the future you know again bring that stuff here because we
want to just again we want to make sure that there's healthy balance that they're not love
bombing us so we're just keeping it in perspective
So I hope that helps.
One last thing I wanted to touch on, Sarah, that I appreciate you bringing up,
I think is going to be really valuable to your sisters here, is
she
she got quiet with the Lord when she was talking to us about a
gentleman that she was getting to know that she crossed some boundaries with.
She allowed herself to get quiet and allowed herself to go through a process of healing and
discover what old wounds that she was still
operating in and allowed God to use
that situation with the person that wasn't her spirit mate to actually bring
a closer relationship with the Lord and help her with her healing. So I really want you to be encouraged by that
because I
want you ladies to be prepared that especially some of you new ladies that are jumping in and this is your first session
or maybe the first couple weeks, you know, if we get excited this like some of you will get excited like awesome
I can date now and I got all this heart work and heart healing. Let's do it
Okay, I get some of us are like hold on like pump the brakes
but again, like I
want you to
just go in with this heart that God is going to use every
situation for your good.
He wants you healed.
He wants you married
but above that he wants you healed and so don't
avoid or push back
opportunities
for God to use
some of the men that are not your spirit mates to uncover areas of your heart that the God wants to kind of work on.
Does that make sense?
Okay, I see some heads shaking. Good.
So yeah, just keep that in mind because I know for me it was a bit discouraging when I jumped in and was like, oh
I'm gonna meet my husband and then I would go on dates and I would get
disappointed and
it would shut me off to the whole idea and I had to use this community and be reminded constantly
that
God can use every single one of those situations and opportunities and a lot of those things needed to happen because believe it or not
if I would have met my husband when I first
right out of doing heart work, I would have never I would have never chose him.
I wasn't ready.
God had to do some healing in my heart. He had to open up my heart to things.
I mean one of those was this non-negotiable that I thought was from heaven that I was not going to move.
Y'all, I love
Florida.
I lived in
beautiful Sarasota, Florida that has Siesta Key and it's one of the most beautiful beaches.
Y'all, I was like, why would I want to why would I want to move away from paradise y'all?
And
I thought it was a non-negotiable.
I thought God was calling me to that area because at one point I lived there and then I moved back home to where I
grew up in Indiana and
after I did that I was like, what am I doing?
I'm like, I can't do this cold weather. I can't do the like no green for six months.
I got to get back to Florida. And so I really felt like that's where God wanted me and y'all it took me
two years in this program and a lot of come-to-Jesus moments with Jackie.
Because Jackie really felt the Lord say to her I was going to relocate and she did it in a subtle way.
She she dropped the hint to me and I'd be like, yeah, no.
And
there was one time, I mean I was
y'all, I was ready to throw in the towel. I was ready to just to cut and run this from this program.
I was like, I can't keep doing this to myself and
luckily, I
had this community here and these sisters in this community that would reach out to me, stay connected with me.
Jackie was able to pull me off the ledge and
she had a come-to-Jesus moment with me and was like, is this really a non-negotiable?
Don't know if your husband is in your area.
Doesn't mean you have to move far. It's just be open to
dating someone
outside your comfort zone, outside of your area if the the opportunity arises. A week later,
my husband dropped in my DMs. Then I thought he lived in Florida.
His company that he worked for was located in Florida. He worked remotely
from Texas.
I was like, well, okay, I guess we'll
continue to get to know each other.
I told my mentor that I'd be open
for whatever God wanted to do, y'all.
But if I had met him right out of heartwork
two years previous, I was adamant, I was not moving.
So I'm thankful God didn't bring him.
I'm thankful for the guys that he did introduce me to
and allowed me to get some deeper healing and growth.
I learned so much about myself.
And I'm still learning a lot about myself.
Even in marriage, ladies, there's still healing
that I'm experiencing.
Like, healing comes in layers.
All right, so just keep that in mind.
I hope that that gives you encouragement.
I'm so thankful, Sarah, that you shared that with us
because I think the women here can take some value in that,
that, you know, how you're able to utilize
some of the not spirit mate situations
to heal those old wounds, okay?
And I share one last just encouragement on that.
Just a testimony from the heart work is, you know,
it's been very empowering to come at this
from my God-given identity and being,
and detaching from outcomes of feeling empowered in that,
of like, yeah, you're a cool guy,
but like, I'm not attached to you being or doing a,
you know, it's just, again, that discovery of like,
is this what I'm looking for?
Do we align?
And if we don't, like, I wish you the best.
And that feels so much better than,
oh my gosh, I love, this is the one,
and like being all desperate about it, you know?
It's like, if this is meant for me, it's meant for me.
And it feels so much more peaceful
and like less energy, like soul-sucking
Yes.
coming at it from that angle of like, versus the other way.
So I just, it has been a major difference.
Again, not perfect, y'all hear me.
I have not been perfect and I will never be,
but coming at it after heart work versus before,
I feel and see the difference and I'm really grateful for it.
Oh, we're grateful for you, Sarah.
You've done so much growth and it's been such an honor
to be part of that process.
Thank you.
I'm so happy for you.
Ladies, like I'm telling you,
like God does some really awesome things in this community
and it's not the husband.
I mean, yes, the husband is a bonus
and is the cherry on top,
but there's so many other great things
that you'll all see the fruit from.
So I just want that to encourage you.
I'm gonna move on to Karina
and then I see some things in the chat.
So I'm gonna, after I get done with Karina,
I'm gonna go to that.
And then Janie, I see your hand as well.
Karina, how is everything going with the coworker?
Good.
So I know we had like a hiccup last week.
Yeah, how is that going?
Good.
So we were able to have a conversation about it
the following day.
We went out to eat and talked about it and it went good.
You know, he was able to apologize, I apologized
and we're good.
We haven't brought it up since.
There hasn't been like any issue or anything like that.
So it's been good and we've got a due date since then.
So it's going good and actually like two days ago,
I guess, yeah.
I don't know if it's moving too fast,
but we did end up making it a little bit more formal,
like boyfriend, girlfriend type of thing.
Okay, so you're level three exclusive.
Did he lead that conversation?
Yes and no.
So I talked about it,
but then he asked me,
well, where do you feel like you're at?
And I told him and he kind of agreed
and then he like officially asked the question.
Okay, that's good.
No, I think that, yeah, he was part of that conversation.
He didn't like, it wasn't like you put the pressure on him.
So that's good.
So how are you feeling about that?
Weird, because it's been a while to be honest.
It's been years, so it's weird.
But I feel like we're moving in the right direction.
But I think for me, prior to that,
he had just come back,
came back from this weekend trip with his friends.
He was like a bachelor party.
Yeah, and that was kind of what elicited that conversation
from a week ago, right?
No, no, that was, no, it didn't, but.
Okay, sorry.
That's okay, but when he came back,
he kind of, when he was there,
he was just kind of telling me what they were doing.
Like he was messaging me while he was there
and he was telling me what they were doing and stuff.
Okay.
But for me, that weekend was, it was kind of not a test,
but it was kind of like,
kind of some revealing for healing. Yeah, kind of because I was worried because most
of his friends, he's only been back to the faith like a year or so. So most of his friends
are not believers. So was you know, they're gonna be partying, there might be strippers
and might be all this other stuff. So it was a little scary for me. Okay, yeah, I would
be right there with you, my dear. Oh, but it was comforting him, you know, telling me
you know what they were doing. And then we came back. Actually, while he was there, he
was telling me like, he wasn't really drinking. He was like the designated driver for the
most part. He was the one driving the boat, you know, because everybody else was drinking.
He was like the responsible one there pretty much. Okay. And then he did tell me like,
there was strippers, but he mentioned like, I guess they rented like an Airbnb or something.
But he's like, I decided not to participate. And I actually stepped outside and I was there
while they were doing their own stuff. So I feel like that was to me like very comforting
and very telling of like, even though yes, he does have very worldly friends, like it's
making me feel more comfortable like entrusting him. Okay. And in his walk with God, but I
think part of me is still a little nervous. It's only been like a year or so. Yeah, he
still has a lot of worldly friends and a lot most of his family are not believers. Okay.
And, you know, he's trying his best to start reading the Bible now. He was doing that.
He's super involved in church right now. He leads like a men's group and he is volunteering
a lot. Probably. So like, he's growing his faith, but I think part of me is a little
scared of. Yeah. Is it gonna stick? I guess? I don't know. Yeah. And I think you're what
you're feeling is definitely very valid. Question. You say he's got a lot of worldly friends,
but he's got a men's group. And he's, do you see him investing time and trying to shift
some of his free time with more of the men that are more in aligned with what his beliefs
are now? Like, so he's got a men group. Is he connecting with those men more? Maybe you,
we can encourage the men like, you know, I, again, I would, this is just my advice. Okay.
When he shares these difficult things, thank him for that. Let him know that you appreciate
and you respect that he's doing that. It helps you feel comfort and safe. It's okay to let him
know. I still have concerns. It is still a worry for me. So that he's at least aware of like,
it's still something in your mind, but it helps when he communicates with you. You can even say,
Hey, why don't we get together with some of the men in your church? And I'll get some of the women
in my church and we can go and do a get together. I want to encourage you now that y'all are an
exclusive relationship, start getting yourself in community with each other. That's going to
be a little tricky though. Not because we're trying to keep it a secret, but because we do work together.
And we work in the same office. What about your church? Like you guys go to separate churches,
correct? We go to the same church. We work at the same church. We work in the same office. Oh, you all work at church. Okay.
Okay. What's the hesitation? Like what fears do you have with letting people at church know that you all are now exclusively dating?
No, the HR rules. So it's something to look into and see if that's going to be an issue because there are people that work at the church that are married and I'm sure that that's not the issue, but they work in different departments.
We work in the same office. Okay. That's going to work. Are you able to have a meeting with the pastor or whoever is overseeing your guys's department and having the conversation and show up in a mature way of like, hey, we understand what the HR rules are.
This is what we're experiencing. I mean, do you feel like you have somebody that you can go to and have a private conversation with them and just say, hey, we want to do this the right way. We want to make you aware. We want to make sure that we are still honoring and valuing our jobs.
but we really have gotten to know each other
and we want to see where this goes
and see what the feedback would be.
Like, how does that make you feel?
I'm a little nervous because the one that is in charge of us
is the director, the counseling director.
Okay.
We don't know if she'd be the appropriate one
or if maybe it's getting closer
with the man's pastor at our church.
So me, I don't know if he should ask him.
Pray about, ask the Lord to highlight
who you need to go and speak to.
I would think a pastor or I'm also,
you said that there are some people
that work at the church that are married.
Are there any of those couples
that you know well enough to go to?
One, I have a friend that's married,
but again, they work in different departments,
but they got hired on while they were married.
And then there's one couple they dated
while they worked at church.
And he's actually gonna meet up with one of them,
with the guy.
Okay.
Yeah, I think, you know, getting some partnership
and seeing how people do the work relationship successfully
and getting mentored and poured into
and getting wisdom from them
I think is gonna be really helpful.
And, you know, just going to them and saying,
this is kind of where we're at.
You know, we wanna honor, you know, the church.
We wanna honor our jobs.
We, you know, we're not trying to hide this.
We just, we wanna, you know,
we wanna see where this goes.
We wanna get to know each other more.
So we don't, you know, like, does that make sense?
I think I'm losing the words here.
Yeah, that's, I think if you can just,
again, you don't have to announce it to everybody,
but just start pulling in a few people,
getting feedback from them.
And so then that way, you know, as that unfolds,
because then that way you guys can start
spending time together with some of those couples,
with some of the people at church
and getting that to be your core community
so that, you know, not saying that you're trying
to push him away from his worldly friends, okay?
But is he spending more time?
Is he being influenced more by, you know,
the right people and not the ones of the world?
Okay, because I will tell, I mean,
that's the slippery slope.
I mean, I've got friends that are not believers.
I've got a lot of friends that are, okay?
I have to learn how to balance that.
I have to learn what boundaries I need
and also be communicating.
I mean, like now I'm married,
so I can communicate with my husband.
Like, what does this look like?
Like, I have this friend.
They're not like a believer like me.
I enjoy them.
This is a, you know,
but I still want relationship with them, okay?
I'm not one of those, like,
I can't have friends that don't have, you know,
that aren't Christians, all right?
Because you never know where God is going to use you.
So, but I do want to encourage you just against,
now that you're exclusive,
let's start bringing in more community
so that y'all are able to hold each other accountable.
Because you, he's going to need men
that are going to hold him accountable, okay?
I think it will help ease your worry in your mind as well.
I think it's a good sign that he's communicating with you
about, you know, where he's at, what's he doing,
what his friends are doing, how he's not participating.
You know, that's, to me, that's a good sign.
I would just, again, be,
have your eyes open to how frequently
is he investing in those friendships, okay?
Does that help some?
I don't, I mean, I know it's,
I know you're feeling a little,
you're communicating, you're like,
I'm a little worried about it still.
I think letting it out in the open is good.
And it's totally normal
and you're valid in having those feelings.
I want you to know that it's totally okay
to have those feelings.
I appreciate that.
But yeah, no, it makes sense.
And I think we've been like going on dates for a month now.
I think from that month, twice, he's hung out with them
and then he's, but he's also hung out
with the guys from church.
Like they've gone-
Yeah, just to be looking for that healthy balance.
Like where does he invest and get influence from?
It's gonna be huge.
Remind me, is this the guy that at first
you were not physically attracted to him?
Ladies?
listen to this. A month or two ago, this guy was, you know,
showing interest. And she's like, I just don't find him very
attractive. But look, like, she's, I mean, would you say
that you're smitten a little bit over him? Like,
I would say, like, I do get excited spending time with them.
And I miss him and all that stuff when I'm not. So yeah.
Yeah. So ladies, I just want that to be an encouragement.
Okay, if like, this is, you know, this is something that's
always come up in this program. There's a handful of women that
will be like, yeah, I wasn't really attracted to my husband.
And that attraction grew. And that's one of the reasons why I
do prompt you ladies to be searching for the qualities and
characteristics that you find attractive. And not just always
going for the looks because the looks will come like, like I
said, I didn't find my husband super, super attractive. And
now I look at him and I'm like, Hey, you're hot. So and I was
like, and I, I never knew if I was ever going to get to that
place. So just keep that in mind, like, be open to getting
to know guys and really search their heart. God searches the
Okay, so I'm excited about this for you. I appreciate that you
still show up that you're still continuing to keep us updated.
Ladies, that's important to as you find, you know, when you get
to the point where you're dating someone in level two for a
little while, and it moves to a level three, we don't want you
to disappear. All right, you still utilize this community.
Because you're going to need it. When I was in the relationship
with my husband, I still was coming to community. Okay, there
was hiccups in our dating, we were long distance, even in
engagement, there was things that, you know, surfaced in me
that I needed, you know, God's God's grace on and I needed, you
know, wisdom and counsel. So don't let don't let the the
excitement like, say, Oh, like, I'm going to put this community
on the back burner. Okay, not that you all intentionally need
to do that. I just want to encourage you. And to thank you,
Karina, that you continue to show up. And so I really
appreciate it.
Thank you. So Carla,
you are welcome. All right, I'm gonna, Jamie, I'm gonna take you
in a minute. I'm gonna go through the chat real quick.
Kelly, I see your thing. So before joining last year, single
is at the point where I want in marriage, but afraid it wouldn't
happen. So I gave up dreaming about the marriage ceremony and
just thought I'd get married at a courthouse. But after joining
last year, single, I put different things on a wedding
post, post it for details on my Jesus cares board. I love that,
because I didn't know what I wanted. And one by one, Jesus
gave me the answers and dreams and desires for all the aspects
on my note. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that
Kelly. Is she still here with us? I don't know she might have
had to jump off. But yeah, ladies, like, y'all are going to
be at different places with this. Sam, I had expressed my
desire to get married about 10 years ago to my pastor. And
because of my age at the time, early 30s, he automatically
assumed that I would get married at the courthouse to a divorced
man with kids. Kind of made me mad at the time. Okay, but I'm
good now. Good. I'm glad you're good now. Still, I've never been
married. So I would like a fairly traditional wedding.
Awesome. And there's nothing wrong with that. Absolutely.
Even though I'm in my 40s girl, I got engaged on my 40th
birthday. And I my wedding was in my 40s. So I love it. And
yeah, and ladies, I want to encourage you that when you
know, when someone speaks over you, if it doesn't sit well in
your spirit, you don't have to receive it. You can let it go
shelf it. If it doesn't sit well shelf it. I mean, that's
the thing with prophetic words. Sometimes people can get it off.
So if there's something that's like stirring in, I mean, again,
continue to go to the Lord with those things. But if it's not
sitting well, don't receive it. You know, you can politely say,
thanks for your insight. And then you walk away. And then you
flush it. flush that. Okay, if it doesn't sit well, flush it.
That's what we do with not good stuff. Okay. And then Alicia was
thanking Sarah for the testimony. I Yes, again, thank
you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, so yeah, Kelly had to leave.
She's
gonna come back to the replay. Thank you, Kelly, for sharing
that as you're watching and replay. And Stephanie, yes,
we're here to hold your hand. We got to girl like, I'm thankful
to this community because I didn't get kicked out of the
community once I got married. Believe it or not, ladies, we do
have a married life last year single community as well that we
are trying to pour more into. So just know like, we're here to
support you throughout. Okay, and the friendships and the
community that you make here will continue if you allow it
to. I have several close friends from this community that are
married, some of them are still single, and I still do my best
to stay connected to them. Okay, so yes, after a few field
engagements, you're struggling with seeing yourself as a bride
from a wedding standpoint. And so you've mentally have
downgraded what you wanted. So yeah, like spend time with that,
you know, process through, you know, what, like beliefs and
lies, did you start becoming in alignment with in those moments?
You know, that's, this is where that hard work piece comes in.
And it doesn't have to happen overnight. Stephanie, I want to
encourage you, it doesn't have to happen overnight, you know,
God wants to reconcile that, that space in your heart. And he
wants, he wants to, he wants to show you what he really, truly
has for you. And so I just again, don't, don't get down on
yourself. All right. And just spend time, it's, it's a process
and we're here for you, we're, we totally got you. Okay,
continue to keep sharing because you're one I see constantly
sharing in our community. Ladies, I love it. I love it
when you're sharing in community. Okay. Yes, they're a failing
forward. 100%. Yes. So I mean, I mean, you'll hear Jackie often
say like, put put legs on your prayers. Like sometimes it's the
like, she'll say, this reminds me, she shared a story how, you
know, God told her about going into media. And she didn't know
what so she's just like, Okay, if that's what you say, God,
this is what I'm going to do. And he took her through a series
of stuff. Like, don't be afraid to make a decision and go with
it and allow God to guide you in that. Sometimes it's the
imperfect actions that we take that bring us to the promises
that God wants us to process through. There's always process
with his promises. Okay, so don't let that be a
discouragement. Patty, you've hardly dated a first few dates
and one man I dated six times. So I'm like, going to a bride
show. Yes. But I think I see what you mean about restoring
hope. Good. I'm glad that you see that. Just get excited about
it. You know, get ideas be be around like it. That's that
putting prayer like putting legs on your prayers. Like, see it
like get excited for the stuff that God's put in your heart the
desire that you put in your heart. Like a lot can happen
there. Um, Alicia, how so what's my advice on how long we should
leave an unread message on dating apps open? How do I
navigate? I match with a lot and yet they don't initiate
conversation or response. So this is Alicia, this is a good
question. And I know a lot of ladies, you know, online dating
is a challenge. At times. I mean, raise your hand if you're
like, online dating is not my favorite. Yeah, I know. There's
a lot of you Sarah, Stephanie, Kim, Patty, Alicia, Kathy, Sam,
she's like, Audrey, she's the same way. Yeah, I totally,
totally get that 100%. It's ebbs and flows like this is where the
balance is key. And you know, setting good boundaries for
yourself, like everyone's going to be different. It's going to
be seeing what works and seeing what doesn't. If you have a lot
of messages coming in, I mean, realistically, are you going to
answer them all? Probably not. Okay. And then you might try to
engage with someone and they just don't translate to be good
community communicators on an app. All right, trust the
process, you know, go in with it, like, look, this is low
stakes.
I'm just seeing if any of these will will pick up and see if I can get a date
Get to know somebody see what I like see what I don't like
So I can't tell you like there's a strip number of how long you wait to leave a message on unread
Again I I
Probably left a lot of men on unread
Because I was a single mom y'all I was a working single mom I didn't have a lot of opportunity to date I had
One weekend night every two weeks when my kid would go to his dad's and then I had to you know
It wasn't enough. So I reached out to a few close friends that I felt
Comfortable to watch my kid and that were partnering with me because they knew
That this was a journey that God was taking me on and they wanted to link arms with me and help me in that process
And it was really good for my son as well. My parents they lived two hours away from me
They would help me out at times. So
Yeah, but I I'm sure I left a lot of men on unread. So don't beat yourself up, you know again just
One thing one piece of advice that I can give is you're God defended and you're God protected
So just trust that process you're not gonna ruin your spirit mate, you're not gonna pass him up
Okay, God's not gonna allow that to happen. All right. No, we have a choice. We have free will
You know, he's not gonna force somebody on us
but
He really, you know is going to give us as many opportunities as like as we can
So I hope that helps you good to see your face. Alicia. Thanks for coming on video
So, I hope that helps answer your question
Okay, I got a few more and then I'm gonna take Janie's question
Sarah's asking is anybody going to the Austin retreat in October?
See
Anybody anybody I will be there for the five-year
Anniversary party. Oh, I'll meet you then you'll get to meet me
And I'm pretty sure I could get my husband to come down to it's like his crazy busy
Work season where he works like 12 to 14 hours a day six days a week, but I was like, uh
You have to come with me
You're gonna have to give me one day
Luckily doesn't work on Sunday. So I was like
we might have to cut it into a half day on Saturday or a half day on Monday or something like that, but
So yeah be looking on the resource page for that. I can't remember if we've released tickets for that party or not
But I will be there. I you know, I'll drive the four hours down to Austin to definitely
Celebrate Jackie in her five years because that's when I came to this community. I
Joined this community. I went to her. She had a five-day challenge now week. She has three day challenges
It was a five-day challenge free online
Facebook challenge at the end of September and then I took a leap of faith to join her community and
Go through a month of hard work
In October and so that's really when it kind of officially launched. She had been doing a soft launch
I think prior to that, but I'm excited. I can't believe it's been five years
Since this community has you know
Bless me and I still continue to be blessed by this community and get to be part of this community, which is awesome
I'm very thankful for it. I'm thankful for all of you
I'm glad it gives you chills. Yeah. I don't yeah Stephanie. I don't think those tickets are released yet
I you know, we'll follow up with that. But when they are we'll put it on the resource
Page as well. And so yes, so Sarah she said she's a single mom and her energy as well. I completely get it
So good good good stuff. Okay, Janie
I'm gonna take your question and then Amika if you can leave your question for the app unless we can quickly get through Janie's
But or post it in the chat
Allah the art. I'm sorry if I'm butchering your name again
I know I butchered it last last week and I did respond to you. So definitely check that out
It's the end of October. I'm wanting to say it's like a month from now
Sarah do you know what those dates are? I don't have them. It's the middle of October
middle of October 16th, maybe
through the
Something something like that
I know I'm like, I know I have it on my calendar sometime this year
Over I just I know it's an October because my husband is like
That's my busy season. That's when I'm like on the phones all day long making sales
And how do I not even have it on my calendar
I know I look at my email and put in if I find it I'll put it in the chat. Okay. Yeah, I know it's somewhere
Yeah, I'm surprised. I don't even have in my calendar. I need to put that in there because it's not for me
It's for my husband. I had to make a calendar for him and my kids
Otherwise, I get 50 million questions. What are we doing? Where are we going?
Look check the calendar check the calendar check the app
Mom's put it there
Okay, Janie what you got for us
Okay, I wanted to give an update okay, I am not driving I'm just sitting in my car so
So I'm in kind of a transition I'm going to be
Moving from Virginia to Arizona at the end of the year. Yeah, and so put on a dating app that
Um, so I'm going to dating at one on our time which I paid for and then the other one is on
FaceTime dating app so I did put on me and I always mentioned that I'm in transition gonna be moving to Arizona
So I think I'm kind of more looking towards dating towards the people in Arizona
Okay, but I have connected with a guy here that I've been talking to and we're gonna
Meet for the second time tomorrow
His name is Melvin. He lives in Washington DC
Which is about three hours from me
Okay, but he works in Richmond a lot, which is about an hour and a half
So then I when I go to Richmond is about an hour and a half so we can we can meet up there
But we haven't and the one thing Ebony has always told me is like you always
Seem like you're taking charge and initiating things and you need to step back and let the man lead
Because isn't she?
Yeah, because I will tell you I and she know and she'll she'll agree to this she was like that too
Yeah, so
Yep, so she's always on me about that, you know, I haven't even because sometimes he'll stay over in
Richmond like on a Tuesday night
Okay, so Wednesday or Thursday if he has to work the next day over in Richmond
So, you know me and my old self would have been like, okay
With you and then we can have coffee blah blah blah
But I haven't I was like, you know, let me see if he's gonna offer and if he does or not, it's okay
So then he has a house has another property here in
Virginia Beach, which he's coming to Virginia Beach
Tomorrow and that's why Virginia Beach is about 45 minutes the other way to me
So we're gonna probably meet down there or he'll probably stop here in Hampton before he gets down there
So anyway, the first meeting was kind of a and I'm kind of hesitant when I met with him
He knows that I'm gonna be moving to Arizona
But he's kind of stuck in
Washington DC right now because he's not really taking care of his mom, but he oversees her
she lives like up the street from him and he kind of
sees up seeps after her and that's his only
Thing about moving he said because what what attracted to me to his profile is that he said he wants to relocate to Costa Rica
You know out of country and that's you know a plan of mine
I want to move out of the country eventually also and so we talked about that
He said, you know what maybe within the next five years because he wants to make sure his mom is good
And you know with one of his other brothers
So, but he is gonna meet I think tomorrow's gonna be the official first date
Last couple weeks ago. We met it wasn't really a date. I invited him to a business meeting and he came down
and so and so we talked because
We always talk about real estate and we talk about investment stuff, but we really never talk about a relationship with us
You know, and he said well, you just got to be direct with him, you know
So I did I asked him I said are you really interested in getting to know me in a relationship?
Are you looking for like a mentor and he's like no, I'm really getting to know you but I didn't think you like me
And I said, well, why would you say that and he said because he said he talks a lot
He's been told he talked a lot. I'm like that don't bother me. I don't talk a lot
So, you know kind of balances out. It doesn't bother me that you talk a lot
So anyway, so he said good. He said well, I'm very intentional about getting to know you
Okay, and so we kind of broke that ice, but he's not he's just kind of slow for me
and I'm just like trying to let him lead and I was like
He's really moving this process along slow, but it's okay. I'm gonna go at your speed
yeah, I was that's I'm sensing that too is
this is an opportunity for you to kind of
take
remove yourself from the driver's seat and
You know, he's aware of what your situation is and
Allow him to make the steps to continue to
get to know him to get to know you.
As you're continuing to get to know him,
and as you decide that you guys
are investing more time together,
you know, you can talk in like the next month or two,
like, hey, it's coming up,
I'm getting ready to move to Arizona,
what do you think that's gonna look like once I do?
Right now might be a little too soon
to be asking that, because you do,
you wanna put some dates under your belt
where it's not so much business oriented,
but it's really about getting to know each other.
But you know, as it continues,
if he continues to put the reciprocation and the effort in,
you know, allow him to take that lead.
You know, we never know what the future holds,
like you don't know what his situation
with his mom is gonna be like at the end of the year.
You don't know what the situation is gonna be like
with his brother at the end of the year,
and if he's able to step in and help with their mom.
Right now you're just in that discovery dating process.
You're not exclusive,
you're still getting to know other people, right?
We're not crossing any boundaries in any way
with people that we're getting to know,
so that we're just keeping an open mind
and really getting to know them.
So, but I mean, I'm sensing the same thing,
just allowing him to lead,
and I think it's an opportunity for you
to kind of sit back and like process through,
like what feelings and emotions are surfacing
with you stepping out of your comfort zone,
because you're used to having to do that, right?
So, spend time in that process there,
like it will feel uncomfortable.
Ladies, sometimes when we do things
that we don't typically or normally do,
it's going to feel uncomfortable,
and we'll start second guessing ourselves.
Like, oh, I don't know.
It's because it's foreign to us, all right?
That's why, you know, Janie is another one.
She's always here on the lives with us.
She's communicating to us what's happening.
She's walking the process through with us.
She's showing up, she's doing that.
So that's what I want to encourage you,
especially you new ladies, don't hold back, all right?
I know it can be very vulnerable to share,
but we are a safe space.
So yeah, just, again, just, I'm excited.
I want to hear about the date, I do.
So make sure you keep us updated on that.
I was going to recommend a spot here,
but I'm like, nope, I'm just going to let him.
So when and where, I'm not even going to recommend anything,
because he should know the area in Florida.
You can say something like,
hey, I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
Just let me know what you have planned.
Okay.
You can just say, hey, I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
You know, I'm looking forward to it, all right?
You don't have to completely remove yourself, right?
But just subtly, you know, let's not, again,
let's not get in the driver's seat.
We're not going to take over there.
So just sit with that.
And again, just whatever feelings, thoughts come up,
spend time in processing those, okay?
This is a growing process, so it's all good.
All right, I got, okay.
So the 23rd and the 27th is the retreat.
So yes, the party is the 26th.
I thought it was the 26th.
So it is, what is August, September?
Two months from today.
So my guess is soon they will release information on that.
It's on the website, that link.
It is, okay.
So it's not on the resource page, it's on the website.
Okay, so go to JackieDorman.com, ladies.
Let's do that.
If you want information on the anniversary party in Austin.
So I think, actually, I know all the spots
for the Austin retreat are sold out.
So you may not be able to participate
in that 23rd through the 27th.
But if you want to hop on a plane or hop in your car,
if it's not too far, and plan to do the anniversary party,
that's what I'm doing, all right?
I'm making plans.
I think we might stay either Saturday night
down at my in-laws or maybe Sunday night down at our in-laws
because they're about 45 minutes away from downtown Austin.
And come to that, like you're more than welcome to do that.
Get a few sisters from this community
to get a hotel somewhere for the weekend.
Go explore Austin.
Austin is actually a really cool place.
I enjoy going down there.
Lots and lots of fun, lots of things to do and see.
Yeah.
Yes, it's so cool.
Very, very cool.
They've got so many cool areas.
Like we went down there for my birthday in February
and like my husband and I really enjoyed ourselves.
Like it was really cool.
So yes.
All right, so Sam, you haven't been on a date
since seventh grade.
I know it can feel so foreign, right?
Like, yeah.
I mean, when I joined this program,
I hadn't had a date in over seven years
because I didn't date anybody.
I've been asked out on a date since seventh grade.
So I've been on dates all throughout.
Okay.
Oh, you haven't been asked out.
Okay.
But as an adult, I really haven't been on any dates.
Like it's mostly been middle school and high school
where I was the initiator.
Okay.
So we're gonna help you work through that, right?
We're gonna try some different things.
Okay.
We wanna still drop the hanky to men.
We still need to show them that we're interested in,
but let's work on your dropping the hanky techniques.
Okay.
So when you find yourself interested in somebody,
we'll help coach you through ways to let them know,
hey, if you wanna ask me out, I'd say yes.
Cause that's a thing.
Like men are nervous to ask women on dates.
And so sometimes like they won't ask
because they're afraid of rejection.
So we sometimes have to help them and say,
boy, I like you.
I wanna get to know you.
So ask me out.
So yeah, we will help you through that 100%.
Sarah, thank you so much for sharing the link to that.
Yes, it does blow their mind
when they drop the hanky for sure.
Some men are like, they have no fear.
My husband was one of them.
He was like, I'm just gonna look like a weird.
And I mean, my husband, I always joke with him.
He's weird.
And he, but he's like, it was really weird
for him to reach out to me.
The whole situation was interesting.
But yeah.
So how do you get through a text message?
Oh, how do you do that through a text message?
Just some like flirting stuff.
Yeah.
Like, hey, are you doing anything fun this weekend?
I was thinking about going to the farmer's market.
Like, have you ever been?
Like, start that and be like,
okay, well, maybe we should do that sometime.
Y'all like there was a man in this community
that Jackie, he was in our men's community
and he lived pretty close to me.
And I had to drop the hanky a few times with him.
I dropped the hanky once and he was like, I'm not ready.
And so I took it as rejection.
Luckily it was in this community and I didn't hold back.
I allowed myself to be vulnerable and I shared it.
And Jackie's like, that has nothing to do with you.
I actually know the story.
This is what's going on.
So don't pick that up.
And I'm like, okay.
Then like several months down the road,
she's like, you should reach out to him.
You should drop a hanky that,
y'all should like hang out for coffee.
And I had met him in person before.
I just, it was like in a group of people.
So yeah, like, don't be afraid to initiate that first,
like, hey, what are you doing this weekend?
I'm doing this.
Maybe you should come sometime.
It's perfectly okay to initiate that.
It's after that initiation is when we don't want
to keep pushing it.
Then we have to allow them to lead and take that, right?
We want them to show up and say, okay, yeah,
she seems interested.
I'm gonna invite her to do this.
Or she invited me to do this.
So then the next time, like, so maybe he decides,
oh yeah, I'd love to come to the farmer's market.
Okay, cool.
You set up time to meet.
Then you're waiting and you let them know.
That was really fun, if it was fun, okay?
This is all in context that you actually want
to go on a second date with them.
And you just say, hey, that was a really, really good time.
We should do that again.
You know, let them know that.
And then you let them bring up the second time.
Okay, now that does it again.
These are not hard rules, but they're guardrails.
Like, 90% of the time,
that's what we will encourage you ladies to do.
So, okay, we're about 10 minutes over here.
I'm gonna read this last message.
I've been on a routine of home to work for more.
In a routine of home to work. Okay. So yeah, it's a bit challenging me for to step out and be in community or meet new people
I don't even know where to start or where to go to meet people
I go to church almost every Sunday, but I have never interacted with anyone there. Um
Liz where are you? Where do I see you? Okay. I see I see you. Thank you. Um
Do you take the same
Drive home to work every day or is there a different route that you could take?
Okay, what about this do you go to the same grocery store every day
Try some try some different grocery stores go to a neighboring town
Like it does feel it's it. I get the challenge. I was I was just like you as a single working mom
it was I had a and y'all I'm I'm a
I'm one of those people that thrive in routine and structure
All right. That was a growing
It's been a growing
experience for me and my husband because he is not a structured routine kind of guy I am and
Even when we were blending our kids like
His kids were not used to structure and routine and my son was and so we've had to learn how to like
Incorporate that so I get the challenge like I'm a routine person. I need
Structure and all that stuff. So it will be a challenge
But it doesn't have to be this like big thing that you do. It's it can be subtle changes that you do
You know put something on your calendar of like, okay after I get off of work
I'm gonna go and grab an appetizer
Here I'm going to go for a walk at this part across town
and it doesn't have to be this huge thing just
Start putting yourself in different pockets of areas and then when you are out
Don't be afraid to make eye contact with people. Don't be afraid to smile at them men and women
Okay, I know a lot of times we prompt you ladies to like ask for help from men and all that. I just say
be inviting to anybody like
For some of us like myself. I can I could probably have a conversation with a squirrel
like I
Don't like I'm just I mean, I wasn't like that when I was a kid
I was really really shy all the way through like high school
It wasn't until I really got out of into college that I really allowed myself to open up more
Yes, free trials at the gym like be open to getting to know people strike up small talk with people do it even with women
Sometimes you might meet a woman who's connected to your spirit mate
You never know
Okay, so
Easier to have a yes
It is easier to have a conversation with squirrels squirrels don't talk back to you like children do
Sarah like I know, you know what I'm talking about there. Oh
When those kids start talking back. Oh lord. Mm-hmm
So, yeah start there like spit like again, I don't want you to put so much pressure on yourself do something small
Okay, and then Liz I want you to report back next week. You can either share with us in the app or you can come back
on here and
Let us know how it goes just get out of your comfort zone just a little bit and tell us what you do
Okay, does that help?
I see you smiling. I don't know if you're on if you're muted or not yet. You're muted if you're saying something
Oh, you're still muted I think
Thumbs up
Doable
Oh my goodness, I've heard about this weighted vest
on walks
actually saw a funny um a
Funny, it's not a meme. It's like one of those funny videos from a couple that the Holderness. Yeah
I
Didn't know it was a thing so I I didn't either and I'm like I'm in perimenopause
Y'all I'm like, I didn't know this is this supposed to help me because if it is I need to do it
I started liking people that I saw that had them like hey, which one do you think is better for you know?
The core work is any work on my belly
Yeah, I'm like
Dang, I didn't know this was a thing. But I when I saw that I was like, I'm willing to try it
And it's funny I love that I love that family they are there that couple is just hysterical
Okay
Okay, I've got, it's got to cool off here in Texas before I start walking again.
Cause Oh gosh.
Wear it around the house.
Oh, that's true.
You got this.
My husband's going to be like, what is happening?
My kids are probably actually, I might have Mike.
My kids actually might be like, I want one too.
My oldest, he's like working out every day.
Like we're always, you know, he's, he's trying, he's like super tall and skinny
y'all like he is six foot and me and my husband are short, like I'm five, three.
My husband, I think is five, nine.
And my, my 16 year old is six foot, but he's a bean pole.
Like, and so we got him like drinking protein shakes and, you know, working
out and all sorts of stuff and he's trying so hard.
So, um, he'd probably be like, mom, get me a weighted vest so I can start bulking.
All right, ladies.
It's been fun.
I, again, I love coming on these Tuesday calls with me.
Um, don't be a stranger.
I'm so good to see you.
Um, Allah, I did respond to you.
I'm still waiting to kind of hear back from a few people that I know.
Cause I want to, I want to get people that have the same age as your kids.
Um, and I don't know, I haven't gone back and check.
What are your children, boys, girls mix?
Oh, I'm frozen.
Hi, sorry.
Okay.
Yes.
It, uh, both boys and girls.
Okay.
Your nine year old is boy or girl?
A boy.
Okay.
That's helpful.
Cause I have a 10 year old who is a boy.
So I know people in that age that are boys.
So I will, again, that helps significantly.
So I'll reach out to a few people and we'll get you some community
surrounded, surrounded to kind of help you with that single mom life.
I totally get it.
And just be encouraged.
You're not going to be a single mom forever.
Okay.
There's Kinsman redeemers out there, but I do think, I don't know if
you got to see my response to you.
I do want to challenge you with some of the beliefs that you're aligning
with about, um, that a red flag is a man that's never been married.
I was not married and I was 40 years old when I first got married.
So let's, let's unpack that.
Okay.
Spend some time with the Holy spirit.
Come, come and let us know how that works.
Okay.
We're here for you.
And then Anna, I have, I thought I sent you an email.
I think I got distracted.
So I will be sending that out in the next day or two, but I did see it.
So I don't want you to feel like, you know, I got to, and
I have what you shared as well.
So I'm going to send that back to you.
Cause I do want you to repost.
We're just going to take away that link.
Okay.
Sound good.
But I have, I have the content.
Like I was like, Oh my gosh, I was so excited.
I was so happy for you, but I'm like, I can't keep this up, unfortunately.
So I will send that to you so you can copy and paste it.
You know how to remember like what you shared.
Okay.
But I was so happy to see you posting.
It looks like you're doing well.
And things are going well, so I'm super happy for you.
All right.
So again, ladies, thank you so much for coming.
I love you all check out Ebony's call tonight, if you can, or
at least watching the replay.
And I will see you all next week and in the app.
Okay.
Thanks.
Love you.