WEBVTT

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All right. I finally got it to record. Awesome. All right, ladies, welcome. This is August

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26. Yeah, August 26 already. This is your one o'clock Tuesday check-in for Love Story

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Accelerator. It's so good to be here with you, ladies. Do I have anybody that is new

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to Phase 2? New to Love Story Accelerator, this is the first time on this call. Yeah,

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that's me. Or Patty and Carmen. Okay. Or maybe this is even your first time to one

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o'clock. Maybe you typically go to the eight o'clock, and today you had the ability to

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come to one o'clock. This is my first time in the Phase 2. Awesome. Well, welcome. We're

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so happy to have you here. Just to kind of run through here what we do, this is kind

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of, we call it like the dating for discovery phase, but don't panic if you're like, I don't

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know if I'm ready to jump in the dating pool yet. We have women that kind of take a little

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time. We have women that just go in and deep dive. It's totally at your own pace. We never

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want you ladies to feel rushed. We really want you spending time with the Lord and letting

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Him guide you and direct you and revealing to you what it is that He wants to heal in

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your heart, what He wants to reveal to you, what He wants to invite you into partnership

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with Him. So never, never feel rushed. And just keep in mind, like when we're coaching,

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you know, we're always coaching to the group, but sometimes we might be coaching to one

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person and it really just is to their situation. And you might have a similar situation, but

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it's going to look a little different. Does that make sense? Okay. So I do want to give

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you some brief reminders here. Constantly be checking that resource page. We're always

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adding stuff in there. So whether it's like a last year, single trip, whether it's our

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one-on-one coaching opportunities, anything like how to move over to the next phase, once

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you've completed Love Story Accelerator. Okay. Remember you want to watch one video per week.

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Okay. That's the best practice. Again, like I shared a moment ago, don't rush through it.

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So if you need to process one video every two weeks, totally fine. Okay. We just ask that you

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don't like fire hose yourself with all five videos. Does that make sense? Or you might do

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that and then you're like, okay, I just want to get it all in and then go back and like,

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your time with replays. All right. I was just sharing here a moment ago with Carmen that,

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you know, sometimes you can always go back and replay and you'll hear new information.

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The second, the third, fourth time around. So don't ever hesitate to do that. Sometimes

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as coaches will even direct you like, hey, you know, if you post something and we're like,

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you know, I think you're going to benefit if you maybe re-listen to Divine Feminine,

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that might help you out. Like, and see what the Lord speaks to you there. Okay. So just

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keep that in mind. Also ladies, when you're posting in our app, we need to just remind you,

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and I think you would have had this in heart, heart work in phase one, do not make posts that

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link any videos, websites, any sort of links that will link anybody to another author, an influencer,

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a speaker, a pastor. We just don't have the resources and the capacity to vet out all of

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those links, all those videos. And we always want to make sure that they're in alignment with what

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Jackie teaches here at Last Year Single. Not that what you post doesn't align with it. We just can't

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always vet it out. So if you happen to do that, we do have to remove that post. And we'll probably

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send you a message. So like, Hey, this was a great post. Here's the content that you shared.

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This was really great to share, but remove the link or remove the video. And so we'll do our

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best to reach out to you, someone from the team. Okay. So, but so make sure your emails are up to

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date as well. Cause if I don't have your email, I have a few, sometimes I have access to a few

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to quickly send a notification. And then just remember you cannot personally message any of

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the coaches and stuff like that. We do offer one-on-one coaching sessions for like, if you

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need just more in-depth work on.

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a situation or something heartwork that you might be experiencing or a dating situation,

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then we do have available to purchase 50-minute sessions for that. But we can't just take random

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messages. We leave that for the app for y'all to make posts, and then myself and Ebony will go in

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there and comment. Sometimes Bethany will also comment as well. So just keep that in mind.

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Um, what else? What else? What else? What else? Yeah, this is another thing. So we have two

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sessions on Tuesday. We have our one o'clock Eastern and our eight o'clock Eastern. I want

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to encourage you ladies, like, I don't want you to force yourself to go to both. If you can't,

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like, I get it. We all have busy lives. If you can at least make it to one, you're going to

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is if you can make it to one and you can't make it to the other at some point in your week,

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go watch the replay. Because this time, these sessions are literally a majority of the time

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we spend taking questions directly from you. So you're going to have somebody on an eight o'clock

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ask a question that somebody here in the one o'clock didn't ask that could actually help and

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replay. Okay, cool. Awesome. Do I have any other newbies? I see a lot more people jumping in. I see

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Allah here. Karina, good to see you. Liz, Stephanie, my girl, Stephanie, Alicia. Alicia,

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you look you look new to me. Are you new to this one o'clock? Or are you new to phase two altogether?

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Yes, Kelly, you're welcome. We didn't always do that. And so I think over time, you're like, look,

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it's going to be really beneficial to to share and replay both sessions. So I'm I'm glad that we did

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that too. Awesome, Alicia. We're so glad to hear have you here. Fantastic. Okay, well, I'm going to

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quickly just get us in prayer, then we're going to go over the activations from last week and what

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I'm going to encourage you ladies to do this week. I think it'll be fun. But we'll see.

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I have fun giving this activation. It was helpful for me. I know sometimes people are like,

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oh, wow, it brings up some stuff, but it's all good. So I can't wait to share that with you.

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And then we'll get to your questions. All right, Heavenly Father, I thank you for your wisdom,

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Lord. I thank you that you're always in partnership with us. You're always,

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you know, just one step forward away from us. You know, I just thank you for the encouragement and

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the invitations for us to just walk alongside you and partner with you, even in the difficult times,

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even in those moments that, you know, just seem impossible or that we're just not going to get

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there. Lord, you see the whole and we only see in part. And so I thank you that you just have the

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patience and the kindness and the gentleness to continue to show up each day for every single one

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of us and just walk us through a more intimate relationship with you that's going to continue

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to bring us closer to our spirit mate, Lord, and that when we do find our spirit mate,

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you're going to still be with us. You're going to be in all of those times and trials

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and excitements and celebrations. And I just thank you. I thank you for the gift of marriage.

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I thank you for the gift of every single one of these spirit mates that these ladies are to

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their husbands. I thank you for their husbands that are going to be their spirit mates. Lord,

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you're so intentional with your plan. You know, you love us so much. And I just thank you

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for this, the grace and the mercy and the just loving on your children. Lord, I just,

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you know, help open up the hearts of these women. Lord, if there's any one that's lacking hope,

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Lord, I just ask that you just refresh their hope. Breathe in a new hope into their spirit.

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Lord, we just ask a hedge of protection and cover any of the enemy's lies and schemes

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that you will expose those lies so that we can break off those untruths and we can start pouring

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in your truth and your word because it is good. And I thank you for that in Jesus name. Amen.

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All right.

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We got lots of ladies on today.

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I got 15 of you right now, that is good.

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So last week, I didn't see very many posts

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about the activation that I gave you guys last week.

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And I'm curious, did any of you find

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any gold in men last week?

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No, I prompted that out of some of you.

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Anybody?

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Did we forget about the activation?

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Ladies, if you can come on camera,

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that would be super helpful.

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I know some of you are driving,

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but it is helpful for us to come out of hiding.

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I got my girl Anna and Patty and Janie and Kathy,

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I see your beautiful faces.

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I know sometimes it's the middle of the workday, I get it.

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Thank you, Karina, it's so good to see you too.

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You've been keeping us posted in the app, so good, so good.

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Gotcha, Stephanie, I totally get it.

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If you are at work and you absolutely can't,

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I'm not gonna reprimand you.

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But if you can, just stretch yourself

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and show us your beautiful faces.

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Thank you, Carmen, yes, she's driving.

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Janie, it looks like she's driving too.

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I had my girl Sam driving, so, so good.

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So again, did anybody find any golden men?

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A male coworker lent Kelly an umbrella

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when it was pouring and offered to walk you in the car.

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See, that's wonderful.

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Ladies, men want to help.

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It is like built in them.

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You will be surprised.

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If you go ask a man for help,

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it will literally light up his day.

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So last week I gave you ladies this prompt of,

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let's start seeing men as gold, okay?

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And I know for some of us,

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that's gonna stretch us a little bit

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because we've been hurt by men.

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I completely understand that.

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But we're looking for God's divine design of man, okay?

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And so we want to make sure

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that we're posturing our heart in that way

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and that we're open to receiving the good men

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that God has out there.

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And it doesn't always mean it's a spirit mate.

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Ladies, I can't tell you how many really decent, great men

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I had the opportunity when I was in this program

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to get to know and go on dates.

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You know, and after one date, I was like,

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okay, probably not my spirit mate,

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but it was really a pleasure to talk to them

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and get to know them.

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There were some really good qualities that I really valued.

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And so it was just opening my eyes

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of what is it that is attractive in men to me?

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And I'm not talking about just the looks, y'all.

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When I was in my 20s, looks were a huge thing for me.

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And when I came to this program, God told me,

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he's like, it's not the outside, it's the interior.

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And he's like, I'm gonna start showing you the interior.

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So as I started working on my inner self,

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and my inner healing, and my inner identity,

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and value, and worth, God began to enlighten me

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and show me the inner hearts of his sons.

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And I had the pleasure of really getting to know

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some really great guys.

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And then two years into this program,

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I had the honor of meeting my husband

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through actually one of the women in this program.

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She was on the lookout.

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She's like, hey, what do you think about this guy?

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And I was like, yeah, he's okay.

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Again, I wasn't looking at the outside.

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I was looking, I mean, I saw him and I'm like,

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okay, he's decent looking.

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I was not drawn to him physically.

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But I'm like, you know what?

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I'm gonna open my heart up to just getting to know people.

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And for three weeks, I wanted to cut and run

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as I was getting to know him.

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We were long distance, and within three weeks,

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he did fly to come visit me.

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And y'all, I was wanting to cancel the date.

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I was ready to cut and run.

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I was afraid I was seeing red flags

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when really maybe they were just yellow

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and then I was waiting for an opportunity

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for them to turn green.

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And lo and behold, they turned green and I am married now.

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So, and I always joke with him like, yeah, I don't know.

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I wasn't really feeling in the beginning.

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And then, you know, God really challenged me

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and invited me into some deeper healing.

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And it's been a huge blessing.

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So just keep that in mind, ladies, okay?

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So for this week's activation, are you ladies ready?

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No one looks excited.

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All right.

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So I was catching up on some posts this week and I really saw this theme of just some of us are

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Getting a little hopeless right now. Am I right? Is there anybody raise your hand if you're like, okay?

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I some of my hope has been a little bit depleted

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And now there's some of you. Okay, I get it. Y'all I was in this program for over two years before I

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Connected with my husband. All right

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This is it's the it's the ebb and the flow. Okay, it's and honestly in those moments where we're feeling a little bit down. I

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really want to encourage you ladies just to press in to the Lord and

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Really see what his invitation is to do in your heart

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Okay, sometimes it's just an indicator

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That we're you know, needing to realign ourselves closer to the father. Okay, I always say yes the husband was

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The husband was the bonus in this program

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But the greatest gift was the intimacy that I built with the Lord that I didn't know even existed

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like I

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Never knew I could get any closer to my heavenly father

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Then I then that if it wasn't for this program

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Honestly, and you know, he continues to grow me continues to grow me closer to him even in marriage

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So just ladies be prepared for that. Okay, he's gonna grow you when you get married

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He's gonna grow you even closer to the father. So like it's just I just get excited for that. Okay, so I want to

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Ignite your hope again and start partnering with God's Word that you are a bride

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All right. So this is something that I did through the two years of being single in this program

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so I'm

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Activating you ladies. You spend time with your heavenly father and ask him to take you on an adventure

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To activate your inner bride

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Okay, I mean you might be like well, what's that mean? Okay. So here's some examples

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All right. I did some of these. All right

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I did some of these just came to me today

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Some of these I did myself and I can go into a little bit about that here in a minute. So maybe

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Look for a bride show in your area

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Attend a bride show

220
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:23.099
They have conventions and all that kind of stuff

221
00:17:23.220 --> 00:17:26.400
Go shopping for stuff that you're gonna need on your wedding day

222
00:17:27.740 --> 00:17:29.660
That one could be a lot of fun

223
00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:33.840
Okay, and you'll be surprised what God highlights and shows you

224
00:17:35.840 --> 00:17:37.620
Go try on a wedding dress

225
00:17:38.900 --> 00:17:42.840
Fun fact I bought my wedding dress before I ever met my husband

226
00:17:44.760 --> 00:17:44.840
I

227
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Was on the Austin retreat in

228
00:17:49.480 --> 00:17:49.500
2021

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00:17:50.280 --> 00:17:51.980
May of 2021

230
00:17:52.540 --> 00:17:56.780
Me and 24 other ladies with Jackie and David

231
00:17:56.780 --> 00:18:03.920
we all flew to Austin and Jackie took us on an adventure to a bride boutique and

232
00:18:04.820 --> 00:18:09.680
25 of us women tried on wedding dresses y'all and a handful of us

233
00:18:10.520 --> 00:18:12.380
Actually bought our wedding dresses

234
00:18:13.320 --> 00:18:15.820
I never thought I would have done that

235
00:18:16.840 --> 00:18:24.280
but it did something it activated this identity of pride in me that I cannot even describe and so when I

236
00:18:24.940 --> 00:18:29.360
did get married I actually did wear the dress that I bought and it was

237
00:18:30.140 --> 00:18:34.720
It was awesome. And then some of the ladies that were at the bridal boutique with me

238
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:39.700
They were invited to my wedding. And so it was just really a great moment to share

239
00:18:39.700 --> 00:18:43.280
So I encourage you ladies like pick some single friends

240
00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:48.740
Maybe some family members that are gonna encourage you and that are gonna like pump you up

241
00:18:49.020 --> 00:18:52.440
To go do these things with okay, you don't have to do these things alone

242
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:57.160
Okay, but do it with someone who's going to be encouraging and lift you up

243
00:18:57.400 --> 00:19:01.340
We don't want any negative Nancy's going with you. Okay. Sorry if your name is Nancy

244
00:19:02.420 --> 00:19:02.900
All right

245
00:19:03.600 --> 00:19:09.300
So do that some other things that I put on here think of songs that you want played at your on your wedding day

246
00:19:10.840 --> 00:19:12.700
That was that was fun for me

247
00:19:14.220 --> 00:19:14.740
like

248
00:19:15.500 --> 00:19:20.240
Once I knew my husband was gonna be my husband. God prompted me to just

249
00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:24.220
Spent I think I don't only think I went to bed that night. He just had me up

250
00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:26.000
like

251
00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:31.260
serenading me if you will God was serenading me through music and

252
00:19:32.780 --> 00:19:33.820
highlighted songs

253
00:19:34.340 --> 00:19:36.320
That were played in my wedding ceremony

254
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:39.760
And you know and even I

255
00:19:39.760 --> 00:19:46.080
Still hear them and they just will always like bring up like good emotions and even my daughter will be like a mom

256
00:19:46.360 --> 00:19:50.160
This is this is the song that was that you know your wedding

257
00:19:51.500 --> 00:19:55.660
And so she gets excited for that. I have two sons as well

258
00:19:55.660 --> 00:19:59.980
They don't get as excited as my daughter does. I think it's it's a it's a female thing

259
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.640
So go do that, go try some cake flavors.

260
00:20:04.800 --> 00:20:06.600
This I didn't do, but I'm like,

261
00:20:06.600 --> 00:20:08.500
I don't know about you all, but I love cake.

262
00:20:09.440 --> 00:20:12.020
So why don't I go try some cake flavors

263
00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:16.200
and get an idea of what maybe I want on my wedding day.

264
00:20:17.660 --> 00:20:20.620
Create a Pinterest board for inspiration

265
00:20:20.620 --> 00:20:22.100
of what you want your day to look like.

266
00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:23.880
I did that.

267
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:26.160
Go try on engagement rings.

268
00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:28.760
That's a lot of fun.

269
00:20:28.760 --> 00:20:30.640
I did that a few times.

270
00:20:31.760 --> 00:20:32.900
I didn't go with any friends though.

271
00:20:32.980 --> 00:20:34.440
I probably would do that differently

272
00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:35.520
and would go with some friends.

273
00:20:35.840 --> 00:20:37.620
I think I had my youngest, my son,

274
00:20:37.740 --> 00:20:39.840
my biological, my little with me.

275
00:20:40.300 --> 00:20:42.680
He was kind of like our mascot here at Last Year's Single

276
00:20:42.680 --> 00:20:44.200
for a long time when I first started.

277
00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:47.040
Like he was always in the background

278
00:20:47.360 --> 00:20:48.780
saying hi to the ladies.

279
00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:52.880
But, you know, I took him along with me too.

280
00:20:53.860 --> 00:20:56.560
So, you know, invite your children in on this as well

281
00:20:56.560 --> 00:20:57.560
because it's their love story.

282
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I wasn't even planning on saying this,

283
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:00.700
but I don't know, like Holy Spirit

284
00:21:00.700 --> 00:21:01.860
just put that on my heart.

285
00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:05.720
Ladies, I can't tell you how God used my son

286
00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:09.280
to speak to me about my spirit mate.

287
00:21:10.820 --> 00:21:13.240
You know, God was showing me,

288
00:21:13.500 --> 00:21:14.960
look, this isn't just your love story.

289
00:21:15.040 --> 00:21:16.260
This is your son's love story.

290
00:21:17.740 --> 00:21:19.780
And your son is ready for it too.

291
00:21:19.820 --> 00:21:22.420
I think my son was ready for me to get married

292
00:21:22.420 --> 00:21:23.880
before I was even ready to go date.

293
00:21:24.700 --> 00:21:27.420
I would pick him up from his dad's

294
00:21:27.420 --> 00:21:29.740
and we'd be driving in the car and he'd be like,

295
00:21:29.880 --> 00:21:32.080
hey mom, do you have a ring on your finger?

296
00:21:33.380 --> 00:21:36.340
I'm like, no, what do you mean?

297
00:21:37.120 --> 00:21:40.480
Oh, I just thought maybe you got married while I was gone.

298
00:21:41.060 --> 00:21:43.500
Y'all, he was only gone for one night every two weeks.

299
00:21:44.020 --> 00:21:48.940
I'm like, honey, you're gonna know, okay?

300
00:21:49.080 --> 00:21:52.540
It doesn't just, you know, one night you go off

301
00:21:52.540 --> 00:21:54.360
and then bam, mom's married.

302
00:21:54.360 --> 00:21:58.020
I'm like, we don't wanna rush things that fast, okay?

303
00:21:58.080 --> 00:22:00.360
I'm like, but you know, God used that.

304
00:22:00.380 --> 00:22:03.100
And God even showed me that my son, you know,

305
00:22:03.100 --> 00:22:06.360
was open to having me be married

306
00:22:06.360 --> 00:22:09.220
and was asking me like, can I call him dad?

307
00:22:09.820 --> 00:22:12.240
Y'all, this was before I even was really dating anybody.

308
00:22:12.280 --> 00:22:14.240
I was just beginning this program.

309
00:22:16.260 --> 00:22:18.960
Like he didn't know I was even in this program.

310
00:22:19.140 --> 00:22:22.320
Like this was before he just knew,

311
00:22:22.320 --> 00:22:26.760
like I'm telling you, God used my son to speak to me.

312
00:22:27.700 --> 00:22:29.560
So invite your children into it as well.

313
00:22:29.780 --> 00:22:31.560
But again, spend time with Holy Spirit,

314
00:22:32.260 --> 00:22:34.640
because again, this is not just your love story,

315
00:22:34.700 --> 00:22:36.780
it's your kid's love story too, okay?

316
00:22:37.260 --> 00:22:41.220
So make sure that Holy Spirit leads and guides you on that.

317
00:22:43.860 --> 00:22:45.540
Yes, Stephanie, I get it.

318
00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:47.880
I get, I know, ladies, I know some of you,

319
00:22:48.040 --> 00:22:50.340
this is gonna be a little bit hard, okay?

320
00:22:50.340 --> 00:22:53.740
I can't say that it's gonna be easy for everybody.

321
00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:56.960
For some of you, it will be hard.

322
00:22:57.880 --> 00:23:00.480
When I went to the Bridal Boutique,

323
00:23:01.060 --> 00:23:03.940
we had, there was a handful of us

324
00:23:04.180 --> 00:23:07.160
that it elicited a lot of emotions and feelings.

325
00:23:07.300 --> 00:23:10.040
But what I will say is that healing took place

326
00:23:10.040 --> 00:23:12.040
in those moments, okay?

327
00:23:13.740 --> 00:23:16.800
Like I tried on a dress and then I decided to buy it

328
00:23:16.800 --> 00:23:20.880
and y'all, like, something came over me.

329
00:23:21.320 --> 00:23:24.300
There was healing that, and it was tied to my mom,

330
00:23:25.020 --> 00:23:26.320
because my mom wasn't there for me,

331
00:23:26.360 --> 00:23:28.780
but I had a strained relationship with my mom.

332
00:23:29.780 --> 00:23:32.020
And so it allowed me the opportunity

333
00:23:32.060 --> 00:23:34.700
just to go through and into some heart work

334
00:23:34.700 --> 00:23:36.140
and some deeper healing with my mom.

335
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:40.220
Okay, so now you ladies might have a different reason

336
00:23:40.220 --> 00:23:42.300
why it's gonna be a little difficult for you.

337
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:44.340
I just want you to spend time with Holy Spirit.

338
00:23:44.340 --> 00:23:48.020
Again, don't rush this, don't rush it.

339
00:23:48.520 --> 00:23:50.720
Allow the Lord to kind of highlight to you

340
00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:55.540
and help work in your heart with what he wants to do.

341
00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:57.500
So this is just to activate you.

342
00:23:57.580 --> 00:24:01.640
So it may activate you to go into a deeper relationship

343
00:24:01.640 --> 00:24:04.320
with the Lord where he's gonna reveal some more areas

344
00:24:04.320 --> 00:24:05.660
that he wants to heal your heart.

345
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:08.880
Okay, but Stephanie, thank you so much

346
00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:11.940
for being vulnerable and sharing that.

347
00:24:12.560 --> 00:24:13.540
I get it.

348
00:24:14.340 --> 00:24:18.080
You know, I 100% get it, okay?

349
00:24:18.820 --> 00:24:19.500
All right, ladies.

350
00:24:20.020 --> 00:24:23.440
So enough with me chatting about all of that stuff.

351
00:24:23.500 --> 00:24:26.000
I'm gonna open the floor up to you all

352
00:24:27.020 --> 00:24:28.580
to ask all your questions.

353
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:30.820
Remember, they can be dating situations,

354
00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:34.860
they can be content from our videos,

355
00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:38.520
it can be heart work related, it can be anything.

356
00:24:38.660 --> 00:24:41.420
What is God revealing to you?

357
00:24:41.420 --> 00:24:45.240
And okay, that's a good question.

358
00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:46.800
What if you don't want a big wedding?

359
00:24:47.580 --> 00:24:48.980
That's totally fine.

360
00:24:49.860 --> 00:24:50.660
Totally fine.

361
00:24:51.960 --> 00:24:53.700
I always thought I wanted a big wedding

362
00:24:53.700 --> 00:24:55.940
and then when push came to shove, I was like,

363
00:24:56.140 --> 00:24:57.900
okay, it might need to be a little smaller.

364
00:24:58.920 --> 00:24:59.980
I always thought I was gonna.

365
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.520
get married in Florida, and then last minute,

366
00:25:02.660 --> 00:25:03.680
and that was the plan.

367
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:05.440
I was gonna get married in Florida.

368
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:08.000
My husband was in Texas, I was in Florida.

369
00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:13.280
And then, God led me to get married in Austin, Texas,

370
00:25:13.340 --> 00:25:15.520
and we live in Dallas-Fort Worth area.

371
00:25:16.700 --> 00:25:19.020
But he had a lot of family in that Austin area,

372
00:25:19.080 --> 00:25:20.020
it's where he grew up.

373
00:25:20.900 --> 00:25:22.820
So something prompted me just to go ahead

374
00:25:23.320 --> 00:25:25.020
and get married in Austin,

375
00:25:25.040 --> 00:25:26.560
and I had a girl from this community

376
00:25:26.560 --> 00:25:27.500
who was a wedding planner.

377
00:25:28.340 --> 00:25:31.880
God love her, she kept me afloat

378
00:25:31.880 --> 00:25:33.760
in those wedding planning months,

379
00:25:34.900 --> 00:25:36.520
and was really, really helpful.

380
00:25:36.940 --> 00:25:41.700
So yeah, just allow yourself to dream and get inspired.

381
00:25:42.980 --> 00:25:43.360
Okay?

382
00:25:45.780 --> 00:25:46.560
Sound good?

383
00:25:47.180 --> 00:25:49.400
All right, I got three questions with their hands raised.

384
00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:51.360
Ladies, don't be shy, all right?

385
00:25:52.100 --> 00:25:53.660
Sarah, I'm gonna go with you first.

386
00:25:53.660 --> 00:25:54.940
My dear, how are you?

387
00:25:55.540 --> 00:25:57.020
I'm good, how are you?

388
00:25:57.840 --> 00:25:58.300
Good.

389
00:25:58.480 --> 00:25:59.400
I'll step outside.

390
00:26:00.180 --> 00:26:01.600
I'm always working during the workday.

391
00:26:01.780 --> 00:26:02.620
I get it.

392
00:26:03.140 --> 00:26:03.780
It's hard.

393
00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:06.100
I just wanted to share an update,

394
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:07.720
and then just get a little feedback.

395
00:26:09.300 --> 00:26:13.860
So went on my third date

396
00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:19.140
with someone that I'm honestly feeling very excited about,

397
00:26:19.300 --> 00:26:22.080
because I have gone on a lot of dates.

398
00:26:22.860 --> 00:26:24.300
I was one that was like,

399
00:26:24.340 --> 00:26:25.860
yeah, sure, I'll dive head first, let's go.

400
00:26:27.320 --> 00:26:30.540
And so, at first I thought the seven date thing

401
00:26:30.540 --> 00:26:31.660
was gonna be hard to achieve,

402
00:26:31.780 --> 00:26:33.820
but again, when you go into it with a different heart,

403
00:26:33.840 --> 00:26:34.920
it really isn't.

404
00:26:36.860 --> 00:26:38.580
And so, yeah, I'm excited.

405
00:26:38.800 --> 00:26:43.200
This is the first godly man that I have met through,

406
00:26:43.520 --> 00:26:46.720
I'm talking, I got divorced in 21, January of 2021,

407
00:26:46.760 --> 00:26:48.780
and I started dating in like 22.

408
00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:53.900
So, I mean, we're talking what, three, four years.

409
00:26:54.540 --> 00:26:56.040
Some of that obviously being

410
00:26:56.040 --> 00:26:57.620
after doing the heart work this year.

411
00:26:57.860 --> 00:27:00.240
But yeah, I'm super pumped about it.

412
00:27:00.900 --> 00:27:02.780
We, so far, of what I've learned,

413
00:27:02.940 --> 00:27:05.160
just align on what we're looking for.

414
00:27:05.320 --> 00:27:07.960
He's masculine, he's mature, he's marriage-minded.

415
00:27:09.760 --> 00:27:12.580
Yeah, so I'm just, I'm feeling encouraged.

416
00:27:13.060 --> 00:27:13.620
Good.

417
00:27:15.320 --> 00:27:18.760
Because, like I said, this is the first one

418
00:27:18.760 --> 00:27:21.580
out of many, because I've gone out with men

419
00:27:21.580 --> 00:27:25.200
that say like they believe and this and that,

420
00:27:25.580 --> 00:27:26.680
but they just, you know,

421
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:27.940
they're at a different place in their journey.

422
00:27:28.120 --> 00:27:30.080
And so, this is the first one I've met

423
00:27:30.080 --> 00:27:32.860
that like him and I are like, we bond over worship music.

424
00:27:33.040 --> 00:27:34.760
Like I've served on a worship team.

425
00:27:34.820 --> 00:27:36.340
He currently serves on a worship team.

426
00:27:36.420 --> 00:27:38.660
So, it's like, it's really refreshing.

427
00:27:39.580 --> 00:27:41.220
Yeah, this is good.

428
00:27:41.220 --> 00:27:42.840
All good things I'm hearing.

429
00:27:45.040 --> 00:27:46.080
Yeah, yeah.

430
00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:47.080
Very good.

431
00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:49.440
And it's honestly helped me a lot.

432
00:27:50.040 --> 00:27:52.280
Some of the ladies, I don't know if any of her here today,

433
00:27:52.320 --> 00:27:53.320
because I've been talking to you and Ebony

434
00:27:53.320 --> 00:27:57.100
about the one that I had ended up crossing boundaries with,

435
00:27:59.020 --> 00:28:01.120
that I've been able to get quiet

436
00:28:01.180 --> 00:28:03.800
and like get alone with God on it

437
00:28:03.800 --> 00:28:08.280
as far as those old childhood wounds coming up

438
00:28:08.280 --> 00:28:12.400
and kind of wanting to take part of like fixing other people

439
00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:13.780
and being there for other people.

440
00:28:13.780 --> 00:28:17.840
And I feel encouraged this time too,

441
00:28:17.860 --> 00:28:22.000
because I am starting to be able to detach from that

442
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:24.740
and realize like I can care about this person,

443
00:28:24.860 --> 00:28:26.920
but that doesn't mean it's mine to carry.

444
00:28:27.700 --> 00:28:28.060
Yes.

445
00:28:28.060 --> 00:28:31.000
And that even though I really do care about him,

446
00:28:31.040 --> 00:28:32.300
we don't align.

447
00:28:33.380 --> 00:28:33.980
Yeah.

448
00:28:34.120 --> 00:28:37.200
Whereas before I think I would have gotten way more enmeshed

449
00:28:37.560 --> 00:28:39.700
in a dynamic like that.

450
00:28:39.900 --> 00:28:43.020
So, I do feel encouraged that I'm able to take a step back

451
00:28:43.020 --> 00:28:44.940
and look at them like objectively,

452
00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:47.480
you know, kind of like, okay, what does Sarah need?

453
00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:49.020
Because I've always been like, well,

454
00:28:49.020 --> 00:28:50.520
I mean, my counselors have always been like,

455
00:28:50.600 --> 00:28:51.560
you're always worried about like

456
00:28:51.560 --> 00:28:52.960
what my ex-husband would need, right?

457
00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:53.620
Like when I was married,

458
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:54.820
you're always worried about what he needs.

459
00:28:55.140 --> 00:28:55.980
Like people pleasing, right?

460
00:28:56.340 --> 00:28:56.700
Yes.

461
00:28:56.820 --> 00:28:57.180
Yeah.

462
00:28:57.180 --> 00:28:58.800
And I would look at her like she had five heads.

463
00:28:58.840 --> 00:28:59.840
Like, what are you talking about?

464
00:28:59.860 --> 00:29:00.580
What do you mean?

465
00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:01.560
Like, what do you mean?

466
00:29:01.700 --> 00:29:02.300
What does Sarah need?

467
00:29:02.580 --> 00:29:04.000
It's a broad concept to think about myself,

468
00:29:04.020 --> 00:29:05.280
especially if you're a mom.

469
00:29:05.740 --> 00:29:08.900
I'm like, no, what's best for me is what's best for them.

470
00:29:09.260 --> 00:29:09.620
Yes.

471
00:29:10.140 --> 00:29:11.260
So, it's really neat.

472
00:29:11.260 --> 00:29:12.120
But actually, it's the other way around.

473
00:29:12.120 --> 00:29:12.660
Yeah.

474
00:29:12.860 --> 00:29:15.480
What's best for them is what's best for you.

475
00:29:16.300 --> 00:29:17.020
Like it's a balance.

476
00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:19.540
It feels so self-centered.

477
00:29:20.020 --> 00:29:20.660
I get it.

478
00:29:20.660 --> 00:29:22.960
But I know I'm thankfully, I know deep down,

479
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:24.540
it's like, not boo, it's not.

480
00:29:25.020 --> 00:29:26.680
You know, that's the old patterns.

481
00:29:27.060 --> 00:29:27.500
Yeah.

482
00:29:27.520 --> 00:29:30.460
But I do feel really good about being able

483
00:29:30.460 --> 00:29:33.100
to like emotionally detach from that experience

484
00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:35.440
with this guy and take a step back and be like,

485
00:29:35.860 --> 00:29:38.660
this guy, I have two men standing like in front of me.

486
00:29:38.700 --> 00:29:40.320
One just wants to be my friend anyway.

487
00:29:40.360 --> 00:29:41.480
He's not in a place to date.

488
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:43.980
I respect that and honor that, but I do like him.

489
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:45.940
But also, he's just not where,

490
00:29:46.120 --> 00:29:47.120
he's not what I'm looking for.

491
00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:48.080
Yeah.

492
00:29:48.080 --> 00:29:49.580
And then there's this other one that's standing

493
00:29:49.580 --> 00:29:49.960
in front of me.

494
00:29:49.960 --> 00:29:53.460
I'm like, so far, he's checking what I'm looking for.

495
00:29:53.460 --> 00:29:55.000
And that feels really good.

496
00:29:55.180 --> 00:29:57.000
So, how long have the two of you been,

497
00:29:57.080 --> 00:29:58.480
like you've gone on three dates,

498
00:29:58.720 --> 00:29:59.980
but from when did you first?

499
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.540
started talking to now going in three dates like how long was just 11 days 11 days okay yep

500
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:14.600
he lives about an hour away okay are you all going and meeting in person are these three

501
00:30:14.600 --> 00:30:19.380
in-person dates are we doing video dates these have been three in person and then we've done

502
00:30:19.380 --> 00:30:26.160
two face times that have been about 30 minutes okay is he coming to you he has the last three

503
00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:31.660
times and then this next one that we have set up is at this like garden it's called

504
00:30:31.820 --> 00:30:38.800
Bellingrath in Mobile Alabama I love it because I love nature and it's just this huge like outdoor

505
00:30:38.800 --> 00:30:45.100
nature place and so that's near where he lives and I'm going to meet him there Friday good okay

506
00:30:45.100 --> 00:30:49.380
good I like that now you're like after three dates you're willing to go there too ladies

507
00:30:49.380 --> 00:30:54.400
don't be afraid after a few dates like especially if you're doing long distance to kind of

508
00:30:55.380 --> 00:31:02.820
reciprocate that we do yeah then to show initiative to kind of you know lead in that

509
00:31:02.820 --> 00:31:08.800
area but you know now she's been on three dates so now again she's gonna continue to get to know

510
00:31:08.800 --> 00:31:17.640
him so 11 days is pretty quick okay yeah but you sound like you're in a very good healthy space

511
00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:26.520
so I'm not overly concerned about that at all I like that you're you're recognizing the fruit

512
00:31:26.520 --> 00:31:34.060
that he has that he's got the three Ms and ladies that are new the three Ms means they're

513
00:31:34.300 --> 00:31:42.340
masculine not the world's view of masculine okay the divine masculine okay which if you haven't

514
00:31:42.340 --> 00:31:49.240
got to the divine feminine video Jack Jackie briefly touches on what the divine masculine

515
00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:57.800
is so think of how God designed man in the garden before the curse what was what qualities and

516
00:31:57.800 --> 00:32:05.720
characteristics does a man have in him that is in the image of God okay and then remember then

517
00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:13.360
God pulled female out of Adam and put certain qualities and divine things in us as females

518
00:32:13.360 --> 00:32:22.180
okay so things like for men it's going to be they are just wired to be protectors and providers

519
00:32:22.560 --> 00:32:29.220
okay not just financial provision but provide in many other ways okay and to protect you to

520
00:32:29.220 --> 00:32:36.880
kind of cover you because again you have God that covers all of us then the man is the covering over

521
00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:42.860
his wife and then underneath her is the children so he's covering all of that but again he's being

522
00:32:43.020 --> 00:32:51.920
covered by God as well okay so keeping that in mind so um so it's masculine divine masculine

523
00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:57.340
okay it doesn't mean that they're going to be perfect ladies I really feel like some of us

524
00:32:57.340 --> 00:33:08.360
need that reminder these men are not perfect but how do they treat you how do they treat others

525
00:33:08.360 --> 00:33:17.600
how do they show up this isn't just about our feelings this is about what is the true character

526
00:33:17.600 --> 00:33:24.220
and heart of these men that you're encountering okay men are going to have yellow flags

527
00:33:25.020 --> 00:33:32.840
us women have yellow flags all right and you're going to see those things even in marriage

528
00:33:36.020 --> 00:33:41.260
like it's you're continuing to grow into your intimacy with the Lord and each other

529
00:33:41.960 --> 00:33:49.140
so don't like if you see a yellow flag it's don't cut and run all right bring it here

530
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:54.120
let us know what's happening okay so I don't know I know I'm kind of getting sidetracked here

531
00:33:54.220 --> 00:34:01.120
but just keep that in mind all right divine masculine isn't always perfection okay

532
00:34:01.820 --> 00:34:07.360
um they're mature do they handle their business do they you know and again this doesn't always

533
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:13.639
mean that they're perfect but do they have a teachable heart are they mature are they getting

534
00:34:13.639 --> 00:34:18.900
wisdom and counsel from other people that they look up to are the people that they're looking up

535
00:34:18.900 --> 00:34:24.659
to good quality people these are things that you're not going to notice or even find out

536
00:34:24.659 --> 00:34:32.159
sometimes in the first couple of dates and that's fine too um and then is he marriage-minded okay

537
00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:38.960
does he have goals does he have a plan all right is he you know talking about a future

538
00:34:39.840 --> 00:34:46.000
all right and I know for some of us avoidance that might freak us out

539
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:53.380
when men start kind of talking about the future you know again bring that stuff here because we

540
00:34:53.380 --> 00:34:56.679
want to just again we want to make sure that there's healthy balance that they're not love

541
00:34:56.679 --> 00:34:59.980
bombing us so we're just keeping it in perspective

542
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.440
So I hope that helps.

543
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:07.180
One last thing I wanted to touch on, Sarah, that I appreciate you bringing up,

544
00:35:07.500 --> 00:35:12.300
I think is going to be really valuable to your sisters here, is

545
00:35:14.200 --> 00:35:14.780
she

546
00:35:15.720 --> 00:35:19.340
she got quiet with the Lord when she was talking to us about a

547
00:35:20.060 --> 00:35:22.860
gentleman that she was getting to know that she crossed some boundaries with.

548
00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:29.280
She allowed herself to get quiet and allowed herself to go through a process of healing and

549
00:35:30.460 --> 00:35:32.880
discover what old wounds that she was still

550
00:35:34.540 --> 00:35:38.520
operating in and allowed God to use

551
00:35:38.840 --> 00:35:43.620
that situation with the person that wasn't her spirit mate to actually bring

552
00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:51.120
a closer relationship with the Lord and help her with her healing. So I really want you to be encouraged by that

553
00:35:53.300 --> 00:35:54.660
because I

554
00:35:54.660 --> 00:35:59.980
want you ladies to be prepared that especially some of you new ladies that are jumping in and this is your first session

555
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:05.600
or maybe the first couple weeks, you know, if we get excited this like some of you will get excited like awesome

556
00:36:05.600 --> 00:36:09.820
I can date now and I got all this heart work and heart healing. Let's do it

557
00:36:09.700 --> 00:36:13.860
Okay, I get some of us are like hold on like pump the brakes

558
00:36:14.560 --> 00:36:16.400
but again, like I

559
00:36:17.900 --> 00:36:19.740
want you to

560
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:25.280
just go in with this heart that God is going to use every

561
00:36:25.660 --> 00:36:27.380
situation for your good.

562
00:36:28.180 --> 00:36:29.920
He wants you healed.

563
00:36:31.100 --> 00:36:32.320
He wants you married

564
00:36:32.980 --> 00:36:37.020
but above that he wants you healed and so don't

565
00:36:38.080 --> 00:36:40.100
avoid or push back

566
00:36:42.640 --> 00:36:43.320
opportunities

567
00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:46.320
for God to use

568
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:54.780
some of the men that are not your spirit mates to uncover areas of your heart that the God wants to kind of work on.

569
00:36:55.140 --> 00:36:56.680
Does that make sense?

570
00:36:57.680 --> 00:37:00.280
Okay, I see some heads shaking. Good.

571
00:37:00.980 --> 00:37:08.400
So yeah, just keep that in mind because I know for me it was a bit discouraging when I jumped in and was like, oh

572
00:37:08.400 --> 00:37:12.340
I'm gonna meet my husband and then I would go on dates and I would get

573
00:37:14.420 --> 00:37:15.020
disappointed and

574
00:37:15.580 --> 00:37:22.380
it would shut me off to the whole idea and I had to use this community and be reminded constantly

575
00:37:23.520 --> 00:37:24.100
that

576
00:37:24.740 --> 00:37:31.740
God can use every single one of those situations and opportunities and a lot of those things needed to happen because believe it or not

577
00:37:32.380 --> 00:37:35.760
if I would have met my husband when I first

578
00:37:36.720 --> 00:37:42.920
right out of doing heart work, I would have never I would have never chose him.

579
00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:45.220
I wasn't ready.

580
00:37:46.260 --> 00:37:50.500
God had to do some healing in my heart. He had to open up my heart to things.

581
00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:56.780
I mean one of those was this non-negotiable that I thought was from heaven that I was not going to move.

582
00:37:57.820 --> 00:37:59.040
Y'all, I love

583
00:37:59.380 --> 00:37:59.940
Florida.

584
00:38:01.220 --> 00:38:03.020
I lived in

585
00:38:03.420 --> 00:38:09.460
beautiful Sarasota, Florida that has Siesta Key and it's one of the most beautiful beaches.

586
00:38:10.560 --> 00:38:15.680
Y'all, I was like, why would I want to why would I want to move away from paradise y'all?

587
00:38:17.020 --> 00:38:17.420
And

588
00:38:17.480 --> 00:38:18.980
I thought it was a non-negotiable.

589
00:38:19.340 --> 00:38:24.540
I thought God was calling me to that area because at one point I lived there and then I moved back home to where I

590
00:38:24.540 --> 00:38:26.260
grew up in Indiana and

591
00:38:26.260 --> 00:38:28.040
after I did that I was like, what am I doing?

592
00:38:29.300 --> 00:38:34.480
I'm like, I can't do this cold weather. I can't do the like no green for six months.

593
00:38:35.080 --> 00:38:40.480
I got to get back to Florida. And so I really felt like that's where God wanted me and y'all it took me

594
00:38:40.500 --> 00:38:45.560
two years in this program and a lot of come-to-Jesus moments with Jackie.

595
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:53.400
Because Jackie really felt the Lord say to her I was going to relocate and she did it in a subtle way.

596
00:38:53.900 --> 00:38:57.580
She she dropped the hint to me and I'd be like, yeah, no.

597
00:38:59.260 --> 00:38:59.780
And

598
00:39:00.460 --> 00:39:03.340
there was one time, I mean I was

599
00:39:03.540 --> 00:39:08.320
y'all, I was ready to throw in the towel. I was ready to just to cut and run this from this program.

600
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:10.840
I was like, I can't keep doing this to myself and

601
00:39:13.600 --> 00:39:14.480
luckily, I

602
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:19.240
had this community here and these sisters in this community that would reach out to me, stay connected with me.

603
00:39:19.720 --> 00:39:22.920
Jackie was able to pull me off the ledge and

604
00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:29.080
she had a come-to-Jesus moment with me and was like, is this really a non-negotiable?

605
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:32.400
Don't know if your husband is in your area.

606
00:39:33.140 --> 00:39:36.080
Doesn't mean you have to move far. It's just be open to

607
00:39:36.600 --> 00:39:37.900
dating someone

608
00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:44.360
outside your comfort zone, outside of your area if the the opportunity arises. A week later,

609
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:47.440
my husband dropped in my DMs. Then I thought he lived in Florida.

610
00:39:48.580 --> 00:39:53.000
His company that he worked for was located in Florida. He worked remotely

611
00:39:53.820 --> 00:39:54.900
from Texas.

612
00:39:56.320 --> 00:39:59.980
I was like, well, okay, I guess we'll

613
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.180
continue to get to know each other.

614
00:40:01.380 --> 00:40:02.920
I told my mentor that I'd be open

615
00:40:02.920 --> 00:40:05.880
for whatever God wanted to do, y'all.

616
00:40:05.940 --> 00:40:09.200
But if I had met him right out of heartwork

617
00:40:09.200 --> 00:40:13.360
two years previous, I was adamant, I was not moving.

618
00:40:14.260 --> 00:40:17.240
So I'm thankful God didn't bring him.

619
00:40:17.740 --> 00:40:21.380
I'm thankful for the guys that he did introduce me to

620
00:40:22.580 --> 00:40:26.480
and allowed me to get some deeper healing and growth.

621
00:40:26.640 --> 00:40:28.480
I learned so much about myself.

622
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:32.120
And I'm still learning a lot about myself.

623
00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:35.080
Even in marriage, ladies, there's still healing

624
00:40:35.080 --> 00:40:37.220
that I'm experiencing.

625
00:40:37.720 --> 00:40:39.480
Like, healing comes in layers.

626
00:40:41.500 --> 00:40:43.280
All right, so just keep that in mind.

627
00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:45.360
I hope that that gives you encouragement.

628
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:49.080
I'm so thankful, Sarah, that you shared that with us

629
00:40:49.080 --> 00:40:54.400
because I think the women here can take some value in that,

630
00:40:55.160 --> 00:40:59.760
that, you know, how you're able to utilize

631
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:02.900
some of the not spirit mate situations

632
00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:07.180
to heal those old wounds, okay?

633
00:41:07.260 --> 00:41:09.640
And I share one last just encouragement on that.

634
00:41:09.760 --> 00:41:13.340
Just a testimony from the heart work is, you know,

635
00:41:13.340 --> 00:41:15.440
it's been very empowering to come at this

636
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:18.640
from my God-given identity and being,

637
00:41:19.360 --> 00:41:22.840
and detaching from outcomes of feeling empowered in that,

638
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:24.080
of like, yeah, you're a cool guy,

639
00:41:24.180 --> 00:41:28.340
but like, I'm not attached to you being or doing a,

640
00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:31.400
you know, it's just, again, that discovery of like,

641
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:32.500
is this what I'm looking for?

642
00:41:32.560 --> 00:41:33.240
Do we align?

643
00:41:33.620 --> 00:41:35.320
And if we don't, like, I wish you the best.

644
00:41:35.340 --> 00:41:37.640
And that feels so much better than,

645
00:41:38.200 --> 00:41:39.660
oh my gosh, I love, this is the one,

646
00:41:39.720 --> 00:41:42.420
and like being all desperate about it, you know?

647
00:41:42.440 --> 00:41:44.640
It's like, if this is meant for me, it's meant for me.

648
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.180
And it feels so much more peaceful

649
00:41:47.660 --> 00:41:50.800
and like less energy, like soul-sucking

650
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:51.620
Yes.

651
00:41:52.300 --> 00:41:56.440
coming at it from that angle of like, versus the other way.

652
00:41:56.760 --> 00:41:59.340
So I just, it has been a major difference.

653
00:41:59.560 --> 00:42:01.320
Again, not perfect, y'all hear me.

654
00:42:01.380 --> 00:42:03.120
I have not been perfect and I will never be,

655
00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:06.920
but coming at it after heart work versus before,

656
00:42:06.980 --> 00:42:11.360
I feel and see the difference and I'm really grateful for it.

657
00:42:11.420 --> 00:42:13.460
Oh, we're grateful for you, Sarah.

658
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:16.300
You've done so much growth and it's been such an honor

659
00:42:16.300 --> 00:42:17.780
to be part of that process.

660
00:42:18.260 --> 00:42:18.860
Thank you.

661
00:42:18.860 --> 00:42:21.180
I'm so happy for you.

662
00:42:21.540 --> 00:42:24.240
Ladies, like I'm telling you,

663
00:42:25.580 --> 00:42:28.820
like God does some really awesome things in this community

664
00:42:29.040 --> 00:42:30.520
and it's not the husband.

665
00:42:31.360 --> 00:42:33.740
I mean, yes, the husband is a bonus

666
00:42:33.740 --> 00:42:35.300
and is the cherry on top,

667
00:42:35.300 --> 00:42:37.300
but there's so many other great things

668
00:42:37.520 --> 00:42:39.620
that you'll all see the fruit from.

669
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:42.320
So I just want that to encourage you.

670
00:42:42.380 --> 00:42:44.140
I'm gonna move on to Karina

671
00:42:44.140 --> 00:42:46.320
and then I see some things in the chat.

672
00:42:46.500 --> 00:42:48.160
So I'm gonna, after I get done with Karina,

673
00:42:48.160 --> 00:42:49.100
I'm gonna go to that.

674
00:42:49.260 --> 00:42:51.800
And then Janie, I see your hand as well.

675
00:42:52.540 --> 00:42:54.820
Karina, how is everything going with the coworker?

676
00:42:56.280 --> 00:42:56.680
Good.

677
00:42:56.740 --> 00:42:59.680
So I know we had like a hiccup last week.

678
00:43:00.160 --> 00:43:01.840
Yeah, how is that going?

679
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:03.320
Good.

680
00:43:03.320 --> 00:43:05.780
So we were able to have a conversation about it

681
00:43:05.780 --> 00:43:06.500
the following day.

682
00:43:06.520 --> 00:43:09.120
We went out to eat and talked about it and it went good.

683
00:43:09.380 --> 00:43:11.780
You know, he was able to apologize, I apologized

684
00:43:11.780 --> 00:43:12.380
and we're good.

685
00:43:12.380 --> 00:43:13.360
We haven't brought it up since.

686
00:43:13.560 --> 00:43:16.440
There hasn't been like any issue or anything like that.

687
00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:20.760
So it's been good and we've got a due date since then.

688
00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:26.400
So it's going good and actually like two days ago,

689
00:43:27.020 --> 00:43:28.140
I guess, yeah.

690
00:43:28.820 --> 00:43:30.720
I don't know if it's moving too fast,

691
00:43:30.780 --> 00:43:33.060
but we did end up making it a little bit more formal,

692
00:43:33.200 --> 00:43:34.480
like boyfriend, girlfriend type of thing.

693
00:43:34.820 --> 00:43:36.860
Okay, so you're level three exclusive.

694
00:43:37.120 --> 00:43:38.240
Did he lead that conversation?

695
00:43:40.400 --> 00:43:41.860
Yes and no.

696
00:43:43.320 --> 00:43:45.500
So I talked about it,

697
00:43:45.500 --> 00:43:46.600
but then he asked me,

698
00:43:46.820 --> 00:43:48.520
well, where do you feel like you're at?

699
00:43:48.840 --> 00:43:50.760
And I told him and he kind of agreed

700
00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:53.040
and then he like officially asked the question.

701
00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:54.200
Okay, that's good.

702
00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:57.080
No, I think that, yeah, he was part of that conversation.

703
00:43:57.280 --> 00:44:00.100
He didn't like, it wasn't like you put the pressure on him.

704
00:44:00.100 --> 00:44:00.920
So that's good.

705
00:44:01.220 --> 00:44:02.940
So how are you feeling about that?

706
00:44:03.600 --> 00:44:05.420
Weird, because it's been a while to be honest.

707
00:44:07.120 --> 00:44:10.780
It's been years, so it's weird.

708
00:44:12.520 --> 00:44:16.020
But I feel like we're moving in the right direction.

709
00:44:17.740 --> 00:44:21.420
But I think for me, prior to that,

710
00:44:23.100 --> 00:44:24.600
he had just come back,

711
00:44:24.760 --> 00:44:27.360
came back from this weekend trip with his friends.

712
00:44:27.520 --> 00:44:29.340
He was like a bachelor party.

713
00:44:29.340 --> 00:44:32.260
Yeah, and that was kind of what elicited that conversation

714
00:44:32.260 --> 00:44:33.640
from a week ago, right?

715
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:40.460
No, no, that was, no, it didn't, but.

716
00:44:40.460 --> 00:44:41.920
Okay, sorry.

717
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:46.500
That's okay, but when he came back,

718
00:44:46.680 --> 00:44:47.760
he kind of, when he was there,

719
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:49.400
he was just kind of telling me what they were doing.

720
00:44:49.540 --> 00:44:50.960
Like he was messaging me while he was there

721
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:52.400
and he was telling me what they were doing and stuff.

722
00:44:52.940 --> 00:44:53.140
Okay.

723
00:44:54.100 --> 00:44:58.620
But for me, that weekend was, it was kind of not a test,

724
00:44:58.860 --> 00:44:59.980
but it was kind of like,

725
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.840
kind of some revealing for healing. Yeah, kind of because I was worried because most

726
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:12.580
of his friends, he's only been back to the faith like a year or so. So most of his friends

727
00:45:12.580 --> 00:45:17.480
are not believers. So was you know, they're gonna be partying, there might be strippers

728
00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:22.340
and might be all this other stuff. So it was a little scary for me. Okay, yeah, I would

729
00:45:22.340 --> 00:45:27.940
be right there with you, my dear. Oh, but it was comforting him, you know, telling me

730
00:45:27.940 --> 00:45:32.700
you know what they were doing. And then we came back. Actually, while he was there, he

731
00:45:32.700 --> 00:45:35.480
was telling me like, he wasn't really drinking. He was like the designated driver for the

732
00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:38.960
most part. He was the one driving the boat, you know, because everybody else was drinking.

733
00:45:39.340 --> 00:45:43.720
He was like the responsible one there pretty much. Okay. And then he did tell me like,

734
00:45:43.780 --> 00:45:48.860
there was strippers, but he mentioned like, I guess they rented like an Airbnb or something.

735
00:45:49.080 --> 00:45:53.060
But he's like, I decided not to participate. And I actually stepped outside and I was there

736
00:45:53.060 --> 00:45:57.480
while they were doing their own stuff. So I feel like that was to me like very comforting

737
00:45:57.480 --> 00:46:03.580
and very telling of like, even though yes, he does have very worldly friends, like it's

738
00:46:03.580 --> 00:46:11.360
making me feel more comfortable like entrusting him. Okay. And in his walk with God, but I

739
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:16.600
think part of me is still a little nervous. It's only been like a year or so. Yeah, he

740
00:46:16.600 --> 00:46:21.980
still has a lot of worldly friends and a lot most of his family are not believers. Okay.

741
00:46:22.980 --> 00:46:29.540
And, you know, he's trying his best to start reading the Bible now. He was doing that.

742
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:38.080
He's super involved in church right now. He leads like a men's group and he is volunteering

743
00:46:38.340 --> 00:46:46.540
a lot. Probably. So like, he's growing his faith, but I think part of me is a little

744
00:46:46.540 --> 00:46:54.220
scared of. Yeah. Is it gonna stick? I guess? I don't know. Yeah. And I think you're what

745
00:46:54.220 --> 00:47:02.980
you're feeling is definitely very valid. Question. You say he's got a lot of worldly friends,

746
00:47:03.080 --> 00:47:13.140
but he's got a men's group. And he's, do you see him investing time and trying to shift

747
00:47:13.140 --> 00:47:20.100
some of his free time with more of the men that are more in aligned with what his beliefs

748
00:47:20.100 --> 00:47:27.200
are now? Like, so he's got a men group. Is he connecting with those men more? Maybe you,

749
00:47:27.340 --> 00:47:33.740
we can encourage the men like, you know, I, again, I would, this is just my advice. Okay.

750
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:44.620
When he shares these difficult things, thank him for that. Let him know that you appreciate

751
00:47:44.620 --> 00:47:51.220
and you respect that he's doing that. It helps you feel comfort and safe. It's okay to let him

752
00:47:51.220 --> 00:47:59.340
know. I still have concerns. It is still a worry for me. So that he's at least aware of like,

753
00:47:59.530 --> 00:48:06.830
it's still something in your mind, but it helps when he communicates with you. You can even say,

754
00:48:08.870 --> 00:48:14.530
Hey, why don't we get together with some of the men in your church? And I'll get some of the women

755
00:48:14.530 --> 00:48:19.290
in my church and we can go and do a get together. I want to encourage you now that y'all are an

756
00:48:19.370 --> 00:48:26.850
exclusive relationship, start getting yourself in community with each other. That's going to

757
00:48:26.850 --> 00:48:31.910
be a little tricky though. Not because we're trying to keep it a secret, but because we do work together.

758
00:48:32.590 --> 00:48:38.910
And we work in the same office. What about your church? Like you guys go to separate churches,

759
00:48:39.570 --> 00:48:45.250
correct? We go to the same church. We work at the same church. We work in the same office. Oh, you all work at church. Okay.

760
00:48:47.410 --> 00:48:59.910
Okay. What's the hesitation? Like what fears do you have with letting people at church know that you all are now exclusively dating?

761
00:49:00.150 --> 00:49:13.870
No, the HR rules. So it's something to look into and see if that's going to be an issue because there are people that work at the church that are married and I'm sure that that's not the issue, but they work in different departments.

762
00:49:13.870 --> 00:49:39.250
We work in the same office. Okay. That's going to work. Are you able to have a meeting with the pastor or whoever is overseeing your guys's department and having the conversation and show up in a mature way of like, hey, we understand what the HR rules are.

763
00:49:39.250 --> 00:49:59.390
This is what we're experiencing. I mean, do you feel like you have somebody that you can go to and have a private conversation with them and just say, hey, we want to do this the right way. We want to make you aware. We want to make sure that we are still honoring and valuing our jobs.

764
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.280
but we really have gotten to know each other

765
00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:04.700
and we want to see where this goes

766
00:50:05.120 --> 00:50:07.640
and see what the feedback would be.

767
00:50:07.700 --> 00:50:09.080
Like, how does that make you feel?

768
00:50:11.260 --> 00:50:15.220
I'm a little nervous because the one that is in charge of us

769
00:50:15.220 --> 00:50:17.900
is the director, the counseling director.

770
00:50:18.740 --> 00:50:19.220
Okay.

771
00:50:19.680 --> 00:50:22.260
We don't know if she'd be the appropriate one

772
00:50:22.260 --> 00:50:25.040
or if maybe it's getting closer

773
00:50:25.040 --> 00:50:26.680
with the man's pastor at our church.

774
00:50:27.360 --> 00:50:31.440
So me, I don't know if he should ask him.

775
00:50:31.860 --> 00:50:34.180
Pray about, ask the Lord to highlight

776
00:50:34.180 --> 00:50:36.340
who you need to go and speak to.

777
00:50:36.580 --> 00:50:39.820
I would think a pastor or I'm also,

778
00:50:41.540 --> 00:50:43.160
you said that there are some people

779
00:50:43.160 --> 00:50:44.740
that work at the church that are married.

780
00:50:45.440 --> 00:50:46.880
Are there any of those couples

781
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:50.280
that you know well enough to go to?

782
00:50:52.520 --> 00:50:54.300
One, I have a friend that's married,

783
00:50:54.300 --> 00:50:56.340
but again, they work in different departments,

784
00:50:57.120 --> 00:50:59.740
but they got hired on while they were married.

785
00:50:59.820 --> 00:51:02.680
And then there's one couple they dated

786
00:51:02.940 --> 00:51:04.400
while they worked at church.

787
00:51:04.520 --> 00:51:07.780
And he's actually gonna meet up with one of them,

788
00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:08.820
with the guy.

789
00:51:09.080 --> 00:51:09.420
Okay.

790
00:51:09.640 --> 00:51:12.260
Yeah, I think, you know, getting some partnership

791
00:51:12.260 --> 00:51:17.460
and seeing how people do the work relationship successfully

792
00:51:20.120 --> 00:51:23.960
and getting mentored and poured into

793
00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:25.160
and getting wisdom from them

794
00:51:25.160 --> 00:51:26.680
I think is gonna be really helpful.

795
00:51:28.140 --> 00:51:29.680
And, you know, just going to them and saying,

796
00:51:30.060 --> 00:51:31.520
this is kind of where we're at.

797
00:51:31.740 --> 00:51:36.620
You know, we wanna honor, you know, the church.

798
00:51:36.820 --> 00:51:37.860
We wanna honor our jobs.

799
00:51:38.200 --> 00:51:40.120
We, you know, we're not trying to hide this.

800
00:51:40.340 --> 00:51:42.220
We just, we wanna, you know,

801
00:51:43.740 --> 00:51:46.240
we wanna see where this goes.

802
00:51:46.560 --> 00:51:48.060
We wanna get to know each other more.

803
00:51:49.260 --> 00:51:51.560
So we don't, you know, like, does that make sense?

804
00:51:51.560 --> 00:51:53.580
I think I'm losing the words here.

805
00:51:55.300 --> 00:51:57.360
Yeah, that's, I think if you can just,

806
00:51:57.820 --> 00:52:00.080
again, you don't have to announce it to everybody,

807
00:52:00.220 --> 00:52:03.040
but just start pulling in a few people,

808
00:52:03.060 --> 00:52:04.620
getting feedback from them.

809
00:52:05.300 --> 00:52:09.160
And so then that way, you know, as that unfolds,

810
00:52:09.160 --> 00:52:10.520
because then that way you guys can start

811
00:52:10.520 --> 00:52:13.040
spending time together with some of those couples,

812
00:52:13.060 --> 00:52:14.640
with some of the people at church

813
00:52:14.920 --> 00:52:18.060
and getting that to be your core community

814
00:52:18.580 --> 00:52:21.260
so that, you know, not saying that you're trying

815
00:52:21.260 --> 00:52:24.760
to push him away from his worldly friends, okay?

816
00:52:25.800 --> 00:52:28.660
But is he spending more time?

817
00:52:28.840 --> 00:52:31.780
Is he being influenced more by, you know,

818
00:52:31.780 --> 00:52:35.600
the right people and not the ones of the world?

819
00:52:35.840 --> 00:52:37.380
Okay, because I will tell, I mean,

820
00:52:37.380 --> 00:52:38.760
that's the slippery slope.

821
00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:40.960
I mean, I've got friends that are not believers.

822
00:52:41.700 --> 00:52:44.380
I've got a lot of friends that are, okay?

823
00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:46.980
I have to learn how to balance that.

824
00:52:46.980 --> 00:52:50.960
I have to learn what boundaries I need

825
00:52:51.580 --> 00:52:53.320
and also be communicating.

826
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:54.480
I mean, like now I'm married,

827
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:56.020
so I can communicate with my husband.

828
00:52:56.120 --> 00:52:57.560
Like, what does this look like?

829
00:52:57.740 --> 00:52:59.100
Like, I have this friend.

830
00:52:59.240 --> 00:53:00.980
They're not like a believer like me.

831
00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:01.940
I enjoy them.

832
00:53:02.460 --> 00:53:03.280
This is a, you know,

833
00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:06.080
but I still want relationship with them, okay?

834
00:53:06.080 --> 00:53:07.280
I'm not one of those, like,

835
00:53:07.500 --> 00:53:09.700
I can't have friends that don't have, you know,

836
00:53:10.040 --> 00:53:12.340
that aren't Christians, all right?

837
00:53:12.340 --> 00:53:15.460
Because you never know where God is going to use you.

838
00:53:16.980 --> 00:53:19.680
So, but I do want to encourage you just against,

839
00:53:19.840 --> 00:53:20.720
now that you're exclusive,

840
00:53:21.500 --> 00:53:24.940
let's start bringing in more community

841
00:53:25.620 --> 00:53:27.780
so that y'all are able to hold each other accountable.

842
00:53:27.900 --> 00:53:30.620
Because you, he's going to need men

843
00:53:30.620 --> 00:53:33.180
that are going to hold him accountable, okay?

844
00:53:33.180 --> 00:53:36.760
I think it will help ease your worry in your mind as well.

845
00:53:37.200 --> 00:53:40.280
I think it's a good sign that he's communicating with you

846
00:53:41.920 --> 00:53:44.500
about, you know, where he's at, what's he doing,

847
00:53:44.500 --> 00:53:47.400
what his friends are doing, how he's not participating.

848
00:53:48.600 --> 00:53:51.680
You know, that's, to me, that's a good sign.

849
00:53:52.720 --> 00:53:55.120
I would just, again, be,

850
00:53:57.320 --> 00:53:59.180
have your eyes open to how frequently

851
00:53:59.240 --> 00:54:03.740
is he investing in those friendships, okay?

852
00:54:05.620 --> 00:54:07.160
Does that help some?

853
00:54:07.240 --> 00:54:08.600
I don't, I mean, I know it's,

854
00:54:08.660 --> 00:54:09.800
I know you're feeling a little,

855
00:54:11.020 --> 00:54:11.840
you're communicating, you're like,

856
00:54:11.840 --> 00:54:13.260
I'm a little worried about it still.

857
00:54:13.940 --> 00:54:15.900
I think letting it out in the open is good.

858
00:54:16.720 --> 00:54:18.680
And it's totally normal

859
00:54:18.680 --> 00:54:20.320
and you're valid in having those feelings.

860
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:22.700
I want you to know that it's totally okay

861
00:54:22.700 --> 00:54:23.660
to have those feelings.

862
00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:26.060
I appreciate that.

863
00:54:26.620 --> 00:54:28.080
But yeah, no, it makes sense.

864
00:54:28.120 --> 00:54:32.860
And I think we've been like going on dates for a month now.

865
00:54:34.160 --> 00:54:39.460
I think from that month, twice, he's hung out with them

866
00:54:39.460 --> 00:54:41.960
and then he's, but he's also hung out

867
00:54:41.960 --> 00:54:43.140
with the guys from church.

868
00:54:43.500 --> 00:54:44.160
Like they've gone-

869
00:54:44.840 --> 00:54:44.840


870
00:54:44.880 --> 00:54:47.040
Yeah, just to be looking for that healthy balance.

871
00:54:48.240 --> 00:54:51.100
Like where does he invest and get influence from?

872
00:54:51.800 --> 00:54:52.940
It's gonna be huge.

873
00:54:54.560 --> 00:54:56.200
Remind me, is this the guy that at first

874
00:54:56.200 --> 00:54:58.420
you were not physically attracted to him?

875
00:54:58.500 --> 00:54:58.660
Ladies?

876
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.660
listen to this. A month or two ago, this guy was, you know,

877
00:55:07.660 --> 00:55:10.400
showing interest. And she's like, I just don't find him very

878
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:14.620
attractive. But look, like, she's, I mean, would you say

879
00:55:14.620 --> 00:55:16.800
that you're smitten a little bit over him? Like,

880
00:55:17.700 --> 00:55:21.100
I would say, like, I do get excited spending time with them.

881
00:55:21.100 --> 00:55:24.180
And I miss him and all that stuff when I'm not. So yeah.

882
00:55:24.480 --> 00:55:27.440
Yeah. So ladies, I just want that to be an encouragement.

883
00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:31.880
Okay, if like, this is, you know, this is something that's

884
00:55:31.880 --> 00:55:35.440
always come up in this program. There's a handful of women that

885
00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:37.860
will be like, yeah, I wasn't really attracted to my husband.

886
00:55:39.380 --> 00:55:43.020
And that attraction grew. And that's one of the reasons why I

887
00:55:43.020 --> 00:55:46.840
do prompt you ladies to be searching for the qualities and

888
00:55:47.360 --> 00:55:51.100
characteristics that you find attractive. And not just always

889
00:55:51.100 --> 00:55:55.200
going for the looks because the looks will come like, like I

890
00:55:55.200 --> 00:56:00.720
said, I didn't find my husband super, super attractive. And

891
00:56:00.720 --> 00:56:08.460
now I look at him and I'm like, Hey, you're hot. So and I was

892
00:56:08.460 --> 00:56:11.740
like, and I, I never knew if I was ever going to get to that

893
00:56:11.740 --> 00:56:16.260
place. So just keep that in mind, like, be open to getting

894
00:56:16.260 --> 00:56:22.480
to know guys and really search their heart. God searches the

895
00:56:23.040 --> 00:56:28.180
Okay, so I'm excited about this for you. I appreciate that you

896
00:56:28.180 --> 00:56:31.440
still show up that you're still continuing to keep us updated.

897
00:56:32.120 --> 00:56:36.520
Ladies, that's important to as you find, you know, when you get

898
00:56:36.520 --> 00:56:40.040
to the point where you're dating someone in level two for a

899
00:56:40.040 --> 00:56:43.700
little while, and it moves to a level three, we don't want you

900
00:56:43.780 --> 00:56:48.400
to disappear. All right, you still utilize this community.

901
00:56:50.160 --> 00:56:54.720
Because you're going to need it. When I was in the relationship

902
00:56:54.720 --> 00:56:59.700
with my husband, I still was coming to community. Okay, there

903
00:56:59.700 --> 00:57:03.480
was hiccups in our dating, we were long distance, even in

904
00:57:03.480 --> 00:57:06.600
engagement, there was things that, you know, surfaced in me

905
00:57:06.600 --> 00:57:12.040
that I needed, you know, God's God's grace on and I needed, you

906
00:57:12.040 --> 00:57:18.160
know, wisdom and counsel. So don't let don't let the the

907
00:57:18.160 --> 00:57:21.800
excitement like, say, Oh, like, I'm going to put this community

908
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:25.260
on the back burner. Okay, not that you all intentionally need

909
00:57:25.260 --> 00:57:28.660
to do that. I just want to encourage you. And to thank you,

910
00:57:28.820 --> 00:57:31.940
Karina, that you continue to show up. And so I really

911
00:57:32.200 --> 00:57:33.120
appreciate it.

912
00:57:33.340 --> 00:57:34.540
Thank you. So Carla,

913
00:57:35.040 --> 00:57:37.320
you are welcome. All right, I'm gonna, Jamie, I'm gonna take you

914
00:57:37.320 --> 00:57:39.780
in a minute. I'm gonna go through the chat real quick.

915
00:57:40.660 --> 00:57:45.320
Kelly, I see your thing. So before joining last year, single

916
00:57:45.320 --> 00:57:47.620
is at the point where I want in marriage, but afraid it wouldn't

917
00:57:47.620 --> 00:57:51.500
happen. So I gave up dreaming about the marriage ceremony and

918
00:57:51.500 --> 00:57:54.120
just thought I'd get married at a courthouse. But after joining

919
00:57:54.120 --> 00:57:57.520
last year, single, I put different things on a wedding

920
00:57:58.320 --> 00:58:02.740
post, post it for details on my Jesus cares board. I love that,

921
00:58:02.880 --> 00:58:07.180
because I didn't know what I wanted. And one by one, Jesus

922
00:58:07.180 --> 00:58:10.380
gave me the answers and dreams and desires for all the aspects

923
00:58:10.500 --> 00:58:13.940
on my note. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that

924
00:58:13.940 --> 00:58:16.700
Kelly. Is she still here with us? I don't know she might have

925
00:58:16.700 --> 00:58:22.320
had to jump off. But yeah, ladies, like, y'all are going to

926
00:58:22.320 --> 00:58:27.160
be at different places with this. Sam, I had expressed my

927
00:58:27.160 --> 00:58:29.920
desire to get married about 10 years ago to my pastor. And

928
00:58:29.920 --> 00:58:32.400
because of my age at the time, early 30s, he automatically

929
00:58:32.400 --> 00:58:34.880
assumed that I would get married at the courthouse to a divorced

930
00:58:34.880 --> 00:58:39.180
man with kids. Kind of made me mad at the time. Okay, but I'm

931
00:58:39.180 --> 00:58:42.460
good now. Good. I'm glad you're good now. Still, I've never been

932
00:58:42.460 --> 00:58:45.180
married. So I would like a fairly traditional wedding.

933
00:58:45.180 --> 00:58:47.820
Awesome. And there's nothing wrong with that. Absolutely.

934
00:58:48.460 --> 00:58:51.660
Even though I'm in my 40s girl, I got engaged on my 40th

935
00:58:51.660 --> 00:58:59.860
birthday. And I my wedding was in my 40s. So I love it. And

936
00:58:59.860 --> 00:59:02.520
yeah, and ladies, I want to encourage you that when you

937
00:59:02.520 --> 00:59:06.740
know, when someone speaks over you, if it doesn't sit well in

938
00:59:06.740 --> 00:59:12.780
your spirit, you don't have to receive it. You can let it go

939
00:59:12.780 --> 00:59:17.860
shelf it. If it doesn't sit well shelf it. I mean, that's

940
00:59:17.860 --> 00:59:20.660
the thing with prophetic words. Sometimes people can get it off.

941
00:59:21.260 --> 00:59:24.340
So if there's something that's like stirring in, I mean, again,

942
00:59:24.720 --> 00:59:30.880
continue to go to the Lord with those things. But if it's not

943
00:59:30.880 --> 00:59:35.620
sitting well, don't receive it. You know, you can politely say,

944
00:59:36.140 --> 00:59:40.980
thanks for your insight. And then you walk away. And then you

945
00:59:40.980 --> 00:59:46.220
flush it. flush that. Okay, if it doesn't sit well, flush it.

946
00:59:46.880 --> 00:59:52.820
That's what we do with not good stuff. Okay. And then Alicia was

947
00:59:52.820 --> 00:59:55.900
thanking Sarah for the testimony. I Yes, again, thank

948
00:59:55.900 --> 00:59:59.740
you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, so yeah, Kelly had to leave.

949
00:59:59.920 --> 00:59:59.980
She's

950
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.980
gonna come back to the replay. Thank you, Kelly, for sharing

951
01:00:02.980 --> 01:00:08.100
that as you're watching and replay. And Stephanie, yes,

952
01:00:08.100 --> 01:00:13.640
we're here to hold your hand. We got to girl like, I'm thankful

953
01:00:13.640 --> 01:00:16.780
to this community because I didn't get kicked out of the

954
01:00:16.780 --> 01:00:20.580
community once I got married. Believe it or not, ladies, we do

955
01:00:20.580 --> 01:00:25.980
have a married life last year single community as well that we

956
01:00:25.980 --> 01:00:31.400
are trying to pour more into. So just know like, we're here to

957
01:00:31.400 --> 01:00:35.440
support you throughout. Okay, and the friendships and the

958
01:00:35.440 --> 01:00:38.800
community that you make here will continue if you allow it

959
01:00:38.480 --> 01:00:44.600
to. I have several close friends from this community that are

960
01:00:44.600 --> 01:00:47.800
married, some of them are still single, and I still do my best

961
01:00:47.800 --> 01:00:53.540
to stay connected to them. Okay, so yes, after a few field

962
01:00:53.540 --> 01:00:55.840
engagements, you're struggling with seeing yourself as a bride

963
01:00:55.840 --> 01:00:59.760
from a wedding standpoint. And so you've mentally have

964
01:00:59.760 --> 01:01:04.640
downgraded what you wanted. So yeah, like spend time with that,

965
01:01:04.640 --> 01:01:10.520
you know, process through, you know, what, like beliefs and

966
01:01:10.520 --> 01:01:14.880
lies, did you start becoming in alignment with in those moments?

967
01:01:15.380 --> 01:01:18.360
You know, that's, this is where that hard work piece comes in.

968
01:01:18.360 --> 01:01:21.300
And it doesn't have to happen overnight. Stephanie, I want to

969
01:01:21.500 --> 01:01:23.440
encourage you, it doesn't have to happen overnight, you know,

970
01:01:23.440 --> 01:01:30.700
God wants to reconcile that, that space in your heart. And he

971
01:01:30.700 --> 01:01:34.680
wants, he wants to, he wants to show you what he really, truly

972
01:01:34.680 --> 01:01:40.400
has for you. And so I just again, don't, don't get down on

973
01:01:40.980 --> 01:01:45.740
yourself. All right. And just spend time, it's, it's a process

974
01:01:45.740 --> 01:01:49.880
and we're here for you, we're, we totally got you. Okay,

975
01:01:49.880 --> 01:01:53.360
continue to keep sharing because you're one I see constantly

976
01:01:53.360 --> 01:01:56.300
sharing in our community. Ladies, I love it. I love it

977
01:01:56.300 --> 01:02:01.540
when you're sharing in community. Okay. Yes, they're a failing

978
01:02:02.280 --> 01:02:08.340
forward. 100%. Yes. So I mean, I mean, you'll hear Jackie often

979
01:02:08.340 --> 01:02:19.820
say like, put put legs on your prayers. Like sometimes it's the

980
01:02:20.660 --> 01:02:25.020
like, she'll say, this reminds me, she shared a story how, you

981
01:02:25.020 --> 01:02:31.280
know, God told her about going into media. And she didn't know

982
01:02:31.280 --> 01:02:33.600
what so she's just like, Okay, if that's what you say, God,

983
01:02:33.820 --> 01:02:36.960
this is what I'm going to do. And he took her through a series

984
01:02:36.960 --> 01:02:41.800
of stuff. Like, don't be afraid to make a decision and go with

985
01:02:41.800 --> 01:02:47.380
it and allow God to guide you in that. Sometimes it's the

986
01:02:47.520 --> 01:02:50.200
imperfect actions that we take that bring us to the promises

987
01:02:50.200 --> 01:02:55.060
that God wants us to process through. There's always process

988
01:02:55.380 --> 01:03:01.220
with his promises. Okay, so don't let that be a

989
01:03:01.140 --> 01:03:06.180
discouragement. Patty, you've hardly dated a first few dates

990
01:03:06.180 --> 01:03:09.560
and one man I dated six times. So I'm like, going to a bride

991
01:03:09.640 --> 01:03:13.260
show. Yes. But I think I see what you mean about restoring

992
01:03:13.260 --> 01:03:16.840
hope. Good. I'm glad that you see that. Just get excited about

993
01:03:16.840 --> 01:03:20.680
it. You know, get ideas be be around like it. That's that

994
01:03:20.680 --> 01:03:25.120
putting prayer like putting legs on your prayers. Like, see it

995
01:03:25.120 --> 01:03:27.960
like get excited for the stuff that God's put in your heart the

996
01:03:27.960 --> 01:03:33.060
desire that you put in your heart. Like a lot can happen

997
01:03:33.540 --> 01:03:38.980
there. Um, Alicia, how so what's my advice on how long we should

998
01:03:38.980 --> 01:03:42.300
leave an unread message on dating apps open? How do I

999
01:03:42.160 --> 01:03:45.700
navigate? I match with a lot and yet they don't initiate

1000
01:03:45.700 --> 01:03:48.800
conversation or response. So this is Alicia, this is a good

1001
01:03:48.800 --> 01:03:52.320
question. And I know a lot of ladies, you know, online dating

1002
01:03:52.320 --> 01:03:58.680
is a challenge. At times. I mean, raise your hand if you're

1003
01:03:59.180 --> 01:04:05.780
like, online dating is not my favorite. Yeah, I know. There's

1004
01:04:05.780 --> 01:04:11.740
a lot of you Sarah, Stephanie, Kim, Patty, Alicia, Kathy, Sam,

1005
01:04:11.740 --> 01:04:18.620
she's like, Audrey, she's the same way. Yeah, I totally,

1006
01:04:19.640 --> 01:04:27.460
totally get that 100%. It's ebbs and flows like this is where the

1007
01:04:27.460 --> 01:04:31.020
balance is key. And you know, setting good boundaries for

1008
01:04:31.020 --> 01:04:35.720
yourself, like everyone's going to be different. It's going to

1009
01:04:35.720 --> 01:04:39.280
be seeing what works and seeing what doesn't. If you have a lot

1010
01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:42.100
of messages coming in, I mean, realistically, are you going to

1011
01:04:42.100 --> 01:04:47.160
answer them all? Probably not. Okay. And then you might try to

1012
01:04:47.660 --> 01:04:51.860
engage with someone and they just don't translate to be good

1013
01:04:52.500 --> 01:04:56.300
community communicators on an app. All right, trust the

1014
01:04:56.320 --> 01:04:59.280
process, you know, go in with it, like, look, this is low

1015
01:04:59.280 --> 01:04:59.600
stakes.

1016
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.960
I'm just seeing if any of these will will pick up and see if I can get a date

1017
01:05:05.420 --> 01:05:08.360
Get to know somebody see what I like see what I don't like

1018
01:05:11.100 --> 01:05:18.520
So I can't tell you like there's a strip number of how long you wait to leave a message on unread

1019
01:05:20.440 --> 01:05:22.760
Again I I

1020
01:05:22.760 --> 01:05:24.640
Probably left a lot of men on unread

1021
01:05:25.160 --> 01:05:33.460
Because I was a single mom y'all I was a working single mom I didn't have a lot of opportunity to date I had

1022
01:05:33.840 --> 01:05:41.240
One weekend night every two weeks when my kid would go to his dad's and then I had to you know

1023
01:05:41.240 --> 01:05:46.180
It wasn't enough. So I reached out to a few close friends that I felt

1024
01:05:46.640 --> 01:05:51.420
Comfortable to watch my kid and that were partnering with me because they knew

1025
01:05:51.420 --> 01:05:56.860
That this was a journey that God was taking me on and they wanted to link arms with me and help me in that process

1026
01:05:57.080 --> 01:06:01.460
And it was really good for my son as well. My parents they lived two hours away from me

1027
01:06:01.460 --> 01:06:04.340
They would help me out at times. So

1028
01:06:05.180 --> 01:06:12.380
Yeah, but I I'm sure I left a lot of men on unread. So don't beat yourself up, you know again just

1029
01:06:12.780 --> 01:06:18.000
One thing one piece of advice that I can give is you're God defended and you're God protected

1030
01:06:19.880 --> 01:06:25.080
So just trust that process you're not gonna ruin your spirit mate, you're not gonna pass him up

1031
01:06:25.280 --> 01:06:30.780
Okay, God's not gonna allow that to happen. All right. No, we have a choice. We have free will

1032
01:06:31.580 --> 01:06:34.580
You know, he's not gonna force somebody on us

1033
01:06:34.800 --> 01:06:35.280
but

1034
01:06:35.760 --> 01:06:41.080
He really, you know is going to give us as many opportunities as like as we can

1035
01:06:41.480 --> 01:06:45.540
So I hope that helps you good to see your face. Alicia. Thanks for coming on video

1036
01:06:45.540 --> 01:06:48.600
So, I hope that helps answer your question

1037
01:06:48.860 --> 01:06:52.260
Okay, I got a few more and then I'm gonna take Janie's question

1038
01:06:53.280 --> 01:06:57.860
Sarah's asking is anybody going to the Austin retreat in October?

1039
01:07:00.480 --> 01:07:01.080
See

1040
01:07:01.560 --> 01:07:04.740
Anybody anybody I will be there for the five-year

1041
01:07:05.540 --> 01:07:09.680
Anniversary party. Oh, I'll meet you then you'll get to meet me

1042
01:07:09.680 --> 01:07:15.480
And I'm pretty sure I could get my husband to come down to it's like his crazy busy

1043
01:07:16.040 --> 01:07:23.040
Work season where he works like 12 to 14 hours a day six days a week, but I was like, uh

1044
01:07:23.040 --> 01:07:24.500
You have to come with me

1045
01:07:25.580 --> 01:07:27.620
You're gonna have to give me one day

1046
01:07:28.620 --> 01:07:30.660
Luckily doesn't work on Sunday. So I was like

1047
01:07:31.320 --> 01:07:36.520
we might have to cut it into a half day on Saturday or a half day on Monday or something like that, but

1048
01:07:37.420 --> 01:07:45.000
So yeah be looking on the resource page for that. I can't remember if we've released tickets for that party or not

1049
01:07:45.680 --> 01:07:50.560
But I will be there. I you know, I'll drive the four hours down to Austin to definitely

1050
01:07:51.100 --> 01:07:55.220
Celebrate Jackie in her five years because that's when I came to this community. I

1051
01:07:55.220 --> 01:08:01.140
Joined this community. I went to her. She had a five-day challenge now week. She has three day challenges

1052
01:08:01.140 --> 01:08:03.600
It was a five-day challenge free online

1053
01:08:04.280 --> 01:08:10.900
Facebook challenge at the end of September and then I took a leap of faith to join her community and

1054
01:08:11.520 --> 01:08:13.360
Go through a month of hard work

1055
01:08:13.360 --> 01:08:19.020
In October and so that's really when it kind of officially launched. She had been doing a soft launch

1056
01:08:19.020 --> 01:08:24.660
I think prior to that, but I'm excited. I can't believe it's been five years

1057
01:08:25.020 --> 01:08:27.300
Since this community has you know

1058
01:08:27.300 --> 01:08:32.700
Bless me and I still continue to be blessed by this community and get to be part of this community, which is awesome

1059
01:08:32.700 --> 01:08:35.640
I'm very thankful for it. I'm thankful for all of you

1060
01:08:36.740 --> 01:08:42.220
I'm glad it gives you chills. Yeah. I don't yeah Stephanie. I don't think those tickets are released yet

1061
01:08:42.220 --> 01:08:46.800
I you know, we'll follow up with that. But when they are we'll put it on the resource

1062
01:08:47.779 --> 01:08:55.439
Page as well. And so yes, so Sarah she said she's a single mom and her energy as well. I completely get it

1063
01:08:56.939 --> 01:08:59.439
So good good good stuff. Okay, Janie

1064
01:08:59.439 --> 01:09:06.260
I'm gonna take your question and then Amika if you can leave your question for the app unless we can quickly get through Janie's

1065
01:09:06.760 --> 01:09:09.520
But or post it in the chat

1066
01:09:11.200 --> 01:09:14.080
Allah the art. I'm sorry if I'm butchering your name again

1067
01:09:14.080 --> 01:09:19.040
I know I butchered it last last week and I did respond to you. So definitely check that out

1068
01:09:19.700 --> 01:09:24.120
It's the end of October. I'm wanting to say it's like a month from now

1069
01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:30.600
Sarah do you know what those dates are? I don't have them. It's the middle of October

1070
01:09:30.720 --> 01:09:32.880
middle of October 16th, maybe

1071
01:09:33.700 --> 01:09:34.740
through the

1072
01:09:36.800 --> 01:09:38.420
Something something like that

1073
01:09:40.060 --> 01:09:44.439
I know I'm like, I know I have it on my calendar sometime this year

1074
01:09:45.520 --> 01:09:48.399
Over I just I know it's an October because my husband is like

1075
01:09:49.760 --> 01:09:54.480
That's my busy season. That's when I'm like on the phones all day long making sales

1076
01:09:57.820 --> 01:09:59.980
And how do I not even have it on my calendar

1077
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.740
I know I look at my email and put in if I find it I'll put it in the chat. Okay. Yeah, I know it's somewhere

1078
01:10:08.700 --> 01:10:13.400
Yeah, I'm surprised. I don't even have in my calendar. I need to put that in there because it's not for me

1079
01:10:13.400 --> 01:10:17.620
It's for my husband. I had to make a calendar for him and my kids

1080
01:10:18.580 --> 01:10:22.500
Otherwise, I get 50 million questions. What are we doing? Where are we going?

1081
01:10:23.620 --> 01:10:27.280
Look check the calendar check the calendar check the app

1082
01:10:27.880 --> 01:10:29.000
Mom's put it there

1083
01:10:29.780 --> 01:10:31.960
Okay, Janie what you got for us

1084
01:10:34.420 --> 01:10:41.720
Okay, I wanted to give an update okay, I am not driving I'm just sitting in my car so

1085
01:10:43.360 --> 01:10:47.040
So I'm in kind of a transition I'm going to be

1086
01:10:48.040 --> 01:10:54.240
Moving from Virginia to Arizona at the end of the year. Yeah, and so put on a dating app that

1087
01:10:55.360 --> 01:11:00.540
Um, so I'm going to dating at one on our time which I paid for and then the other one is on

1088
01:11:01.780 --> 01:11:07.020
FaceTime dating app so I did put on me and I always mentioned that I'm in transition gonna be moving to Arizona

1089
01:11:07.020 --> 01:11:12.040
So I think I'm kind of more looking towards dating towards the people in Arizona

1090
01:11:12.440 --> 01:11:17.400
Okay, but I have connected with a guy here that I've been talking to and we're gonna

1091
01:11:18.100 --> 01:11:20.100
Meet for the second time tomorrow

1092
01:11:20.640 --> 01:11:23.360
His name is Melvin. He lives in Washington DC

1093
01:11:23.360 --> 01:11:25.880
Which is about three hours from me

1094
01:11:26.380 --> 01:11:31.000
Okay, but he works in Richmond a lot, which is about an hour and a half

1095
01:11:31.760 --> 01:11:35.780
So then I when I go to Richmond is about an hour and a half so we can we can meet up there

1096
01:11:35.780 --> 01:11:39.460
But we haven't and the one thing Ebony has always told me is like you always

1097
01:11:39.700 --> 01:11:44.080
Seem like you're taking charge and initiating things and you need to step back and let the man lead

1098
01:11:45.880 --> 01:11:47.360
Because isn't she?

1099
01:11:47.360 --> 01:11:53.840
Yeah, because I will tell you I and she know and she'll she'll agree to this she was like that too

1100
01:11:56.120 --> 01:11:57.080
Yeah, so

1101
01:11:58.820 --> 01:12:05.000
Yep, so she's always on me about that, you know, I haven't even because sometimes he'll stay over in

1102
01:12:06.060 --> 01:12:08.180
Richmond like on a Tuesday night

1103
01:12:08.180 --> 01:12:11.380
Okay, so Wednesday or Thursday if he has to work the next day over in Richmond

1104
01:12:11.500 --> 01:12:14.600
So, you know me and my old self would have been like, okay

1105
01:12:15.240 --> 01:12:17.240
With you and then we can have coffee blah blah blah

1106
01:12:17.740 --> 01:12:21.980
But I haven't I was like, you know, let me see if he's gonna offer and if he does or not, it's okay

1107
01:12:22.260 --> 01:12:26.560
So then he has a house has another property here in

1108
01:12:27.700 --> 01:12:30.340
Virginia Beach, which he's coming to Virginia Beach

1109
01:12:31.380 --> 01:12:36.080
Tomorrow and that's why Virginia Beach is about 45 minutes the other way to me

1110
01:12:36.380 --> 01:12:41.420
So we're gonna probably meet down there or he'll probably stop here in Hampton before he gets down there

1111
01:12:41.420 --> 01:12:46.760
So anyway, the first meeting was kind of a and I'm kind of hesitant when I met with him

1112
01:12:47.320 --> 01:12:49.400
He knows that I'm gonna be moving to Arizona

1113
01:12:49.760 --> 01:12:51.700
But he's kind of stuck in

1114
01:12:53.280 --> 01:12:58.700
Washington DC right now because he's not really taking care of his mom, but he oversees her

1115
01:12:58.700 --> 01:13:00.940
she lives like up the street from him and he kind of

1116
01:13:01.960 --> 01:13:04.480
sees up seeps after her and that's his only

1117
01:13:05.280 --> 01:13:12.020
Thing about moving he said because what what attracted to me to his profile is that he said he wants to relocate to Costa Rica

1118
01:13:12.020 --> 01:13:15.040
You know out of country and that's you know a plan of mine

1119
01:13:15.040 --> 01:13:19.760
I want to move out of the country eventually also and so we talked about that

1120
01:13:19.760 --> 01:13:24.140
He said, you know what maybe within the next five years because he wants to make sure his mom is good

1121
01:13:24.140 --> 01:13:26.340
And you know with one of his other brothers

1122
01:13:28.360 --> 01:13:32.800
So, but he is gonna meet I think tomorrow's gonna be the official first date

1123
01:13:32.800 --> 01:13:40.380
Last couple weeks ago. We met it wasn't really a date. I invited him to a business meeting and he came down

1124
01:13:41.040 --> 01:13:43.860
and so and so we talked because

1125
01:13:44.320 --> 01:13:50.800
We always talk about real estate and we talk about investment stuff, but we really never talk about a relationship with us

1126
01:13:52.160 --> 01:13:55.580
You know, and he said well, you just got to be direct with him, you know

1127
01:13:55.580 --> 01:13:59.360
So I did I asked him I said are you really interested in getting to know me in a relationship?

1128
01:13:59.360 --> 01:14:04.580
Are you looking for like a mentor and he's like no, I'm really getting to know you but I didn't think you like me

1129
01:14:04.580 --> 01:14:09.220
And I said, well, why would you say that and he said because he said he talks a lot

1130
01:14:09.220 --> 01:14:12.760
He's been told he talked a lot. I'm like that don't bother me. I don't talk a lot

1131
01:14:12.760 --> 01:14:16.100
So, you know kind of balances out. It doesn't bother me that you talk a lot

1132
01:14:16.760 --> 01:14:21.920
So anyway, so he said good. He said well, I'm very intentional about getting to know you

1133
01:14:22.320 --> 01:14:28.380
Okay, and so we kind of broke that ice, but he's not he's just kind of slow for me

1134
01:14:28.380 --> 01:14:30.540
and I'm just like trying to let him lead and I was like

1135
01:14:31.640 --> 01:14:35.820
He's really moving this process along slow, but it's okay. I'm gonna go at your speed

1136
01:14:36.760 --> 01:14:40.220
yeah, I was that's I'm sensing that too is

1137
01:14:41.260 --> 01:14:43.940
this is an opportunity for you to kind of

1138
01:14:45.080 --> 01:14:45.640
take

1139
01:14:46.200 --> 01:14:48.220
remove yourself from the driver's seat and

1140
01:14:50.060 --> 01:14:55.880
You know, he's aware of what your situation is and

1141
01:14:55.880 --> 01:14:59.980
Allow him to make the steps to continue to

1142
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.840
get to know him to get to know you.

1143
01:15:04.440 --> 01:15:06.380
As you're continuing to get to know him,

1144
01:15:06.620 --> 01:15:08.820
and as you decide that you guys

1145
01:15:08.820 --> 01:15:10.260
are investing more time together,

1146
01:15:10.840 --> 01:15:13.760
you know, you can talk in like the next month or two,

1147
01:15:13.880 --> 01:15:15.220
like, hey, it's coming up,

1148
01:15:15.240 --> 01:15:16.460
I'm getting ready to move to Arizona,

1149
01:15:16.660 --> 01:15:20.640
what do you think that's gonna look like once I do?

1150
01:15:22.580 --> 01:15:24.780
Right now might be a little too soon

1151
01:15:25.120 --> 01:15:27.140
to be asking that, because you do,

1152
01:15:27.300 --> 01:15:29.300
you wanna put some dates under your belt

1153
01:15:29.300 --> 01:15:31.260
where it's not so much business oriented,

1154
01:15:31.420 --> 01:15:33.360
but it's really about getting to know each other.

1155
01:15:34.240 --> 01:15:35.840
But you know, as it continues,

1156
01:15:36.140 --> 01:15:39.360
if he continues to put the reciprocation and the effort in,

1157
01:15:39.960 --> 01:15:41.900
you know, allow him to take that lead.

1158
01:15:42.320 --> 01:15:45.680
You know, we never know what the future holds,

1159
01:15:45.680 --> 01:15:47.200
like you don't know what his situation

1160
01:15:47.220 --> 01:15:49.180
with his mom is gonna be like at the end of the year.

1161
01:15:49.700 --> 01:15:51.520
You don't know what the situation is gonna be like

1162
01:15:51.520 --> 01:15:52.820
with his brother at the end of the year,

1163
01:15:52.820 --> 01:15:55.740
and if he's able to step in and help with their mom.

1164
01:15:56.860 --> 01:15:59.920
Right now you're just in that discovery dating process.

1165
01:16:00.360 --> 01:16:01.980
You're not exclusive,

1166
01:16:02.260 --> 01:16:04.800
you're still getting to know other people, right?

1167
01:16:04.800 --> 01:16:07.660
We're not crossing any boundaries in any way

1168
01:16:07.660 --> 01:16:09.220
with people that we're getting to know,

1169
01:16:09.680 --> 01:16:11.600
so that we're just keeping an open mind

1170
01:16:11.600 --> 01:16:13.020
and really getting to know them.

1171
01:16:13.760 --> 01:16:17.900
So, but I mean, I'm sensing the same thing,

1172
01:16:18.220 --> 01:16:19.400
just allowing him to lead,

1173
01:16:19.500 --> 01:16:21.500
and I think it's an opportunity for you

1174
01:16:21.500 --> 01:16:25.320
to kind of sit back and like process through,

1175
01:16:25.840 --> 01:16:29.700
like what feelings and emotions are surfacing

1176
01:16:29.920 --> 01:16:32.140
with you stepping out of your comfort zone,

1177
01:16:32.140 --> 01:16:35.040
because you're used to having to do that, right?

1178
01:16:36.600 --> 01:16:40.200
So, spend time in that process there,

1179
01:16:40.860 --> 01:16:42.520
like it will feel uncomfortable.

1180
01:16:42.740 --> 01:16:45.820
Ladies, sometimes when we do things

1181
01:16:45.820 --> 01:16:48.220
that we don't typically or normally do,

1182
01:16:48.260 --> 01:16:49.700
it's going to feel uncomfortable,

1183
01:16:50.580 --> 01:16:52.780
and we'll start second guessing ourselves.

1184
01:16:54.420 --> 01:16:55.600
Like, oh, I don't know.

1185
01:16:55.980 --> 01:16:59.360
It's because it's foreign to us, all right?

1186
01:16:59.840 --> 01:17:01.860
That's why, you know, Janie is another one.

1187
01:17:02.220 --> 01:17:04.360
She's always here on the lives with us.

1188
01:17:04.440 --> 01:17:06.320
She's communicating to us what's happening.

1189
01:17:07.260 --> 01:17:10.640
She's walking the process through with us.

1190
01:17:11.200 --> 01:17:13.100
She's showing up, she's doing that.

1191
01:17:13.100 --> 01:17:14.620
So that's what I want to encourage you,

1192
01:17:14.680 --> 01:17:19.060
especially you new ladies, don't hold back, all right?

1193
01:17:19.060 --> 01:17:22.920
I know it can be very vulnerable to share,

1194
01:17:23.600 --> 01:17:24.840
but we are a safe space.

1195
01:17:26.300 --> 01:17:28.900
So yeah, just, again, just, I'm excited.

1196
01:17:28.920 --> 01:17:30.940
I want to hear about the date, I do.

1197
01:17:31.900 --> 01:17:34.420
So make sure you keep us updated on that.

1198
01:17:35.580 --> 01:17:37.460
I was going to recommend a spot here,

1199
01:17:37.500 --> 01:17:39.220
but I'm like, nope, I'm just going to let him.

1200
01:17:39.440 --> 01:17:42.140
So when and where, I'm not even going to recommend anything,

1201
01:17:42.380 --> 01:17:44.340
because he should know the area in Florida.

1202
01:17:44.600 --> 01:17:45.700
You can say something like,

1203
01:17:45.740 --> 01:17:48.360
hey, I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.

1204
01:17:48.360 --> 01:17:51.640
Just let me know what you have planned.

1205
01:17:52.880 --> 01:17:53.140
Okay.

1206
01:17:53.420 --> 01:17:55.960
You can just say, hey, I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

1207
01:17:56.780 --> 01:17:59.460
You know, I'm looking forward to it, all right?

1208
01:17:59.460 --> 01:18:02.840
You don't have to completely remove yourself, right?

1209
01:18:03.320 --> 01:18:07.180
But just subtly, you know, let's not, again,

1210
01:18:07.200 --> 01:18:08.300
let's not get in the driver's seat.

1211
01:18:08.500 --> 01:18:10.060
We're not going to take over there.

1212
01:18:10.400 --> 01:18:11.940
So just sit with that.

1213
01:18:12.260 --> 01:18:16.840
And again, just whatever feelings, thoughts come up,

1214
01:18:17.440 --> 01:18:20.660
spend time in processing those, okay?

1215
01:18:21.440 --> 01:18:24.180
This is a growing process, so it's all good.

1216
01:18:24.840 --> 01:18:25.900
All right, I got, okay.

1217
01:18:25.900 --> 01:18:28.040
So the 23rd and the 27th is the retreat.

1218
01:18:28.200 --> 01:18:30.960
So yes, the party is the 26th.

1219
01:18:31.000 --> 01:18:31.980
I thought it was the 26th.

1220
01:18:32.040 --> 01:18:33.680
So it is, what is August, September?

1221
01:18:34.060 --> 01:18:35.440
Two months from today.

1222
01:18:35.720 --> 01:18:40.360
So my guess is soon they will release information on that.

1223
01:18:41.560 --> 01:18:43.620
It's on the website, that link.

1224
01:18:43.980 --> 01:18:45.220
It is, okay.

1225
01:18:45.220 --> 01:18:47.940
So it's not on the resource page, it's on the website.

1226
01:18:48.140 --> 01:18:50.240
Okay, so go to JackieDorman.com, ladies.

1227
01:18:51.800 --> 01:18:52.760
Let's do that.

1228
01:18:52.860 --> 01:18:59.940
If you want information on the anniversary party in Austin.

1229
01:19:00.760 --> 01:19:03.640
So I think, actually, I know all the spots

1230
01:19:03.640 --> 01:19:06.120
for the Austin retreat are sold out.

1231
01:19:06.440 --> 01:19:09.720
So you may not be able to participate

1232
01:19:09.800 --> 01:19:12.620
in that 23rd through the 27th.

1233
01:19:13.220 --> 01:19:17.640
But if you want to hop on a plane or hop in your car,

1234
01:19:17.680 --> 01:19:23.180
if it's not too far, and plan to do the anniversary party,

1235
01:19:23.360 --> 01:19:25.640
that's what I'm doing, all right?

1236
01:19:25.640 --> 01:19:26.580
I'm making plans.

1237
01:19:26.740 --> 01:19:29.520
I think we might stay either Saturday night

1238
01:19:29.520 --> 01:19:33.880
down at my in-laws or maybe Sunday night down at our in-laws

1239
01:19:33.880 --> 01:19:36.540
because they're about 45 minutes away from downtown Austin.

1240
01:19:38.160 --> 01:19:42.140
And come to that, like you're more than welcome to do that.

1241
01:19:42.140 --> 01:19:43.960
Get a few sisters from this community

1242
01:19:44.980 --> 01:19:47.820
to get a hotel somewhere for the weekend.

1243
01:19:48.580 --> 01:19:49.920
Go explore Austin.

1244
01:19:50.420 --> 01:19:51.920
Austin is actually a really cool place.

1245
01:19:52.540 --> 01:19:54.320
I enjoy going down there.

1246
01:19:55.100 --> 01:19:58.080
Lots and lots of fun, lots of things to do and see.

1247
01:19:59.380 --> 01:19:59.980
Yeah.

1248
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.100
Yes, it's so cool.

1249
01:20:01.480 --> 01:20:02.400
Very, very cool.

1250
01:20:03.200 --> 01:20:04.580
They've got so many cool areas.

1251
01:20:05.240 --> 01:20:08.280
Like we went down there for my birthday in February

1252
01:20:08.320 --> 01:20:10.620
and like my husband and I really enjoyed ourselves.

1253
01:20:11.140 --> 01:20:12.960
Like it was really cool.

1254
01:20:14.180 --> 01:20:14.860
So yes.

1255
01:20:16.700 --> 01:20:19.700
All right, so Sam, you haven't been on a date

1256
01:20:19.700 --> 01:20:20.500
since seventh grade.

1257
01:20:20.580 --> 01:20:22.700
I know it can feel so foreign, right?

1258
01:20:23.680 --> 01:20:24.640
Like, yeah.

1259
01:20:24.860 --> 01:20:27.860
I mean, when I joined this program,

1260
01:20:27.880 --> 01:20:29.380
I hadn't had a date in over seven years

1261
01:20:29.380 --> 01:20:30.880
because I didn't date anybody.

1262
01:20:31.320 --> 01:20:33.600
I've been asked out on a date since seventh grade.

1263
01:20:33.700 --> 01:20:35.940
So I've been on dates all throughout.

1264
01:20:36.440 --> 01:20:37.000
Okay.

1265
01:20:37.500 --> 01:20:38.940
Oh, you haven't been asked out.

1266
01:20:39.060 --> 01:20:39.260
Okay.

1267
01:20:39.620 --> 01:20:41.980
But as an adult, I really haven't been on any dates.

1268
01:20:42.000 --> 01:20:44.100
Like it's mostly been middle school and high school

1269
01:20:44.100 --> 01:20:45.620
where I was the initiator.

1270
01:20:46.240 --> 01:20:46.660
Okay.

1271
01:20:46.780 --> 01:20:49.240
So we're gonna help you work through that, right?

1272
01:20:49.240 --> 01:20:52.040
We're gonna try some different things.

1273
01:20:52.980 --> 01:20:53.540
Okay.

1274
01:20:53.540 --> 01:20:55.840
We wanna still drop the hanky to men.

1275
01:20:56.440 --> 01:20:59.360
We still need to show them that we're interested in,

1276
01:20:59.740 --> 01:21:04.720
but let's work on your dropping the hanky techniques.

1277
01:21:06.180 --> 01:21:06.440
Okay.

1278
01:21:06.440 --> 01:21:08.480
So when you find yourself interested in somebody,

1279
01:21:09.640 --> 01:21:13.860
we'll help coach you through ways to let them know,

1280
01:21:14.280 --> 01:21:18.100
hey, if you wanna ask me out, I'd say yes.

1281
01:21:18.180 --> 01:21:19.400
Cause that's a thing.

1282
01:21:19.500 --> 01:21:24.500
Like men are nervous to ask women on dates.

1283
01:21:24.500 --> 01:21:28.040
And so sometimes like they won't ask

1284
01:21:28.040 --> 01:21:29.680
because they're afraid of rejection.

1285
01:21:30.760 --> 01:21:33.560
So we sometimes have to help them and say,

1286
01:21:35.200 --> 01:21:37.180
boy, I like you.

1287
01:21:37.380 --> 01:21:38.740
I wanna get to know you.

1288
01:21:39.280 --> 01:21:40.300
So ask me out.

1289
01:21:42.080 --> 01:21:42.080


1290
01:21:43.460 --> 01:21:47.040
So yeah, we will help you through that 100%.

1291
01:21:47.040 --> 01:21:51.800
Sarah, thank you so much for sharing the link to that.

1292
01:21:54.060 --> 01:21:55.700
Yes, it does blow their mind

1293
01:21:55.700 --> 01:21:57.520
when they drop the hanky for sure.

1294
01:21:58.220 --> 01:21:59.940
Some men are like, they have no fear.

1295
01:22:00.060 --> 01:22:01.120
My husband was one of them.

1296
01:22:01.220 --> 01:22:04.300
He was like, I'm just gonna look like a weird.

1297
01:22:04.620 --> 01:22:06.160
And I mean, my husband, I always joke with him.

1298
01:22:06.300 --> 01:22:07.100
He's weird.

1299
01:22:08.700 --> 01:22:11.000
And he, but he's like, it was really weird

1300
01:22:11.000 --> 01:22:13.000
for him to reach out to me.

1301
01:22:13.680 --> 01:22:16.240
The whole situation was interesting.

1302
01:22:18.120 --> 01:22:18.920
But yeah.

1303
01:22:18.920 --> 01:22:22.420
So how do you get through a text message?

1304
01:22:23.680 --> 01:22:25.440
Oh, how do you do that through a text message?

1305
01:22:25.480 --> 01:22:27.520
Just some like flirting stuff.

1306
01:22:28.400 --> 01:22:28.700
Yeah.

1307
01:22:29.640 --> 01:22:33.420
Like, hey, are you doing anything fun this weekend?

1308
01:22:33.600 --> 01:22:36.260
I was thinking about going to the farmer's market.

1309
01:22:37.060 --> 01:22:38.780
Like, have you ever been?

1310
01:22:39.880 --> 01:22:41.720
Like, start that and be like,

1311
01:22:41.900 --> 01:22:44.520
okay, well, maybe we should do that sometime.

1312
01:22:45.300 --> 01:22:47.180
Y'all like there was a man in this community

1313
01:22:47.180 --> 01:22:52.780
that Jackie, he was in our men's community

1314
01:22:53.140 --> 01:22:54.680
and he lived pretty close to me.

1315
01:22:55.580 --> 01:22:58.480
And I had to drop the hanky a few times with him.

1316
01:22:59.480 --> 01:23:02.680
I dropped the hanky once and he was like, I'm not ready.

1317
01:23:03.300 --> 01:23:05.320
And so I took it as rejection.

1318
01:23:05.780 --> 01:23:07.800
Luckily it was in this community and I didn't hold back.

1319
01:23:07.960 --> 01:23:09.900
I allowed myself to be vulnerable and I shared it.

1320
01:23:09.960 --> 01:23:11.800
And Jackie's like, that has nothing to do with you.

1321
01:23:11.840 --> 01:23:12.940
I actually know the story.

1322
01:23:13.380 --> 01:23:14.340
This is what's going on.

1323
01:23:14.380 --> 01:23:15.720
So don't pick that up.

1324
01:23:15.720 --> 01:23:16.700
And I'm like, okay.

1325
01:23:16.840 --> 01:23:18.400
Then like several months down the road,

1326
01:23:18.980 --> 01:23:22.200
she's like, you should reach out to him.

1327
01:23:22.860 --> 01:23:24.660
You should drop a hanky that,

1328
01:23:24.960 --> 01:23:26.980
y'all should like hang out for coffee.

1329
01:23:27.280 --> 01:23:29.600
And I had met him in person before.

1330
01:23:29.880 --> 01:23:32.060
I just, it was like in a group of people.

1331
01:23:33.580 --> 01:23:37.620
So yeah, like, don't be afraid to initiate that first,

1332
01:23:38.300 --> 01:23:41.940
like, hey, what are you doing this weekend?

1333
01:23:42.180 --> 01:23:43.200
I'm doing this.

1334
01:23:43.620 --> 01:23:45.060
Maybe you should come sometime.

1335
01:23:46.580 --> 01:23:49.680
It's perfectly okay to initiate that.

1336
01:23:50.140 --> 01:23:53.220
It's after that initiation is when we don't want

1337
01:23:53.440 --> 01:23:55.320
to keep pushing it.

1338
01:23:55.680 --> 01:24:02.000
Then we have to allow them to lead and take that, right?

1339
01:24:02.000 --> 01:24:04.880
We want them to show up and say, okay, yeah,

1340
01:24:05.100 --> 01:24:06.380
she seems interested.

1341
01:24:06.780 --> 01:24:08.320
I'm gonna invite her to do this.

1342
01:24:09.520 --> 01:24:11.540
Or she invited me to do this.

1343
01:24:11.720 --> 01:24:14.060
So then the next time, like, so maybe he decides,

1344
01:24:14.060 --> 01:24:15.860
oh yeah, I'd love to come to the farmer's market.

1345
01:24:16.260 --> 01:24:16.900
Okay, cool.

1346
01:24:17.500 --> 01:24:19.060
You set up time to meet.

1347
01:24:19.840 --> 01:24:22.100
Then you're waiting and you let them know.

1348
01:24:22.740 --> 01:24:25.160
That was really fun, if it was fun, okay?

1349
01:24:25.580 --> 01:24:28.360
This is all in context that you actually want

1350
01:24:28.360 --> 01:24:29.680
to go on a second date with them.

1351
01:24:29.920 --> 01:24:31.700
And you just say, hey, that was a really, really good time.

1352
01:24:31.720 --> 01:24:32.520
We should do that again.

1353
01:24:33.920 --> 01:24:36.180
You know, let them know that.

1354
01:24:36.220 --> 01:24:39.560
And then you let them bring up the second time.

1355
01:24:40.020 --> 01:24:40.980
Okay, now that does it again.

1356
01:24:40.980 --> 01:24:44.520
These are not hard rules, but they're guardrails.

1357
01:24:45.360 --> 01:24:46.840
Like, 90% of the time,

1358
01:24:46.880 --> 01:24:49.080
that's what we will encourage you ladies to do.

1359
01:24:50.820 --> 01:24:53.640
So, okay, we're about 10 minutes over here.

1360
01:24:53.660 --> 01:24:55.940
I'm gonna read this last message.

1361
01:24:56.040 --> 01:24:58.640
I've been on a routine of home to work for more.

1362
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.520
In a routine of home to work. Okay. So yeah, it's a bit challenging me for to step out and be in community or meet new people

1363
01:25:07.520 --> 01:25:10.220
I don't even know where to start or where to go to meet people

1364
01:25:10.220 --> 01:25:16.620
I go to church almost every Sunday, but I have never interacted with anyone there. Um

1365
01:25:16.880 --> 01:25:22.880
Liz where are you? Where do I see you? Okay. I see I see you. Thank you. Um

1366
01:25:22.880 --> 01:25:24.680
Do you take the same

1367
01:25:24.680 --> 01:25:30.900
Drive home to work every day or is there a different route that you could take?

1368
01:25:34.240 --> 01:25:38.940
Okay, what about this do you go to the same grocery store every day

1369
01:25:41.080 --> 01:25:45.520
Try some try some different grocery stores go to a neighboring town

1370
01:25:46.780 --> 01:25:53.760
Like it does feel it's it. I get the challenge. I was I was just like you as a single working mom

1371
01:25:53.760 --> 01:25:56.840
it was I had a and y'all I'm I'm a

1372
01:25:58.180 --> 01:26:01.640
I'm one of those people that thrive in routine and structure

1373
01:26:02.860 --> 01:26:05.260
All right. That was a growing

1374
01:26:05.740 --> 01:26:07.040
It's been a growing

1375
01:26:07.540 --> 01:26:14.080
experience for me and my husband because he is not a structured routine kind of guy I am and

1376
01:26:16.120 --> 01:26:18.900
Even when we were blending our kids like

1377
01:26:18.900 --> 01:26:25.620
His kids were not used to structure and routine and my son was and so we've had to learn how to like

1378
01:26:26.340 --> 01:26:29.980
Incorporate that so I get the challenge like I'm a routine person. I need

1379
01:26:30.700 --> 01:26:34.120
Structure and all that stuff. So it will be a challenge

1380
01:26:34.120 --> 01:26:40.160
But it doesn't have to be this like big thing that you do. It's it can be subtle changes that you do

1381
01:26:40.740 --> 01:26:45.400
You know put something on your calendar of like, okay after I get off of work

1382
01:26:45.400 --> 01:26:48.700
I'm gonna go and grab an appetizer

1383
01:26:49.660 --> 01:26:54.860
Here I'm going to go for a walk at this part across town

1384
01:26:55.300 --> 01:26:58.220
and it doesn't have to be this huge thing just

1385
01:26:58.360 --> 01:27:03.880
Start putting yourself in different pockets of areas and then when you are out

1386
01:27:04.660 --> 01:27:10.100
Don't be afraid to make eye contact with people. Don't be afraid to smile at them men and women

1387
01:27:10.100 --> 01:27:16.820
Okay, I know a lot of times we prompt you ladies to like ask for help from men and all that. I just say

1388
01:27:18.020 --> 01:27:21.000
be inviting to anybody like

1389
01:27:21.400 --> 01:27:27.660
For some of us like myself. I can I could probably have a conversation with a squirrel

1390
01:27:29.420 --> 01:27:30.540
like I

1391
01:27:30.540 --> 01:27:33.400
Don't like I'm just I mean, I wasn't like that when I was a kid

1392
01:27:33.400 --> 01:27:36.400
I was really really shy all the way through like high school

1393
01:27:36.400 --> 01:27:41.000
It wasn't until I really got out of into college that I really allowed myself to open up more

1394
01:27:42.780 --> 01:27:50.540
Yes, free trials at the gym like be open to getting to know people strike up small talk with people do it even with women

1395
01:27:51.760 --> 01:27:54.500
Sometimes you might meet a woman who's connected to your spirit mate

1396
01:27:55.180 --> 01:27:56.540
You never know

1397
01:27:58.180 --> 01:27:59.140
Okay, so

1398
01:27:59.620 --> 01:28:00.860
Easier to have a yes

1399
01:28:00.860 --> 01:28:04.840
It is easier to have a conversation with squirrels squirrels don't talk back to you like children do

1400
01:28:04.900 --> 01:28:10.200
Sarah like I know, you know what I'm talking about there. Oh

1401
01:28:10.200 --> 01:28:14.420
When those kids start talking back. Oh lord. Mm-hmm

1402
01:28:15.580 --> 01:28:22.620
So, yeah start there like spit like again, I don't want you to put so much pressure on yourself do something small

1403
01:28:23.220 --> 01:28:29.220
Okay, and then Liz I want you to report back next week. You can either share with us in the app or you can come back

1404
01:28:29.220 --> 01:28:31.000
on here and

1405
01:28:32.000 --> 01:28:37.800
Let us know how it goes just get out of your comfort zone just a little bit and tell us what you do

1406
01:28:37.800 --> 01:28:39.000
Okay, does that help?

1407
01:28:43.260 --> 01:28:47.600
I see you smiling. I don't know if you're on if you're muted or not yet. You're muted if you're saying something

1408
01:28:54.100 --> 01:28:55.880
Oh, you're still muted I think

1409
01:28:58.080 --> 01:28:58.920
Thumbs up

1410
01:29:00.240 --> 01:29:00.720
Doable

1411
01:29:08.080 --> 01:29:10.400
Oh my goodness, I've heard about this weighted vest

1412
01:29:11.640 --> 01:29:12.600
on walks

1413
01:29:13.080 --> 01:29:16.180
actually saw a funny um a

1414
01:29:16.200 --> 01:29:22.560
Funny, it's not a meme. It's like one of those funny videos from a couple that the Holderness. Yeah

1415
01:29:24.120 --> 01:29:24.520
I

1416
01:29:26.760 --> 01:29:30.840
Didn't know it was a thing so I I didn't either and I'm like I'm in perimenopause

1417
01:29:30.940 --> 01:29:35.120
Y'all I'm like, I didn't know this is this supposed to help me because if it is I need to do it

1418
01:29:35.120 --> 01:29:40.520
I started liking people that I saw that had them like hey, which one do you think is better for you know?

1419
01:29:40.620 --> 01:29:42.520
The core work is any work on my belly

1420
01:29:43.280 --> 01:29:44.700
Yeah, I'm like

1421
01:29:45.300 --> 01:29:51.160
Dang, I didn't know this was a thing. But I when I saw that I was like, I'm willing to try it

1422
01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:57.080
And it's funny I love that I love that family they are there that couple is just hysterical

1423
01:29:58.120 --> 01:29:58.640
Okay

1424
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.780
Okay, I've got, it's got to cool off here in Texas before I start walking again.

1425
01:30:05.780 --> 01:30:07.080
Cause Oh gosh.

1426
01:30:07.700 --> 01:30:09.280
Wear it around the house.

1427
01:30:10.000 --> 01:30:10.860
Oh, that's true.

1428
01:30:10.960 --> 01:30:11.800
You got this.

1429
01:30:13.320 --> 01:30:17.840
My husband's going to be like, what is happening?

1430
01:30:17.980 --> 01:30:20.300
My kids are probably actually, I might have Mike.

1431
01:30:20.880 --> 01:30:23.560
My kids actually might be like, I want one too.

1432
01:30:25.900 --> 01:30:29.040
My oldest, he's like working out every day.

1433
01:30:29.040 --> 01:30:33.600
Like we're always, you know, he's, he's trying, he's like super tall and skinny

1434
01:30:33.600 --> 01:30:38.280
y'all like he is six foot and me and my husband are short, like I'm five, three.

1435
01:30:38.400 --> 01:30:39.940
My husband, I think is five, nine.

1436
01:30:40.460 --> 01:30:45.700
And my, my 16 year old is six foot, but he's a bean pole.

1437
01:30:45.760 --> 01:30:52.260
Like, and so we got him like drinking protein shakes and, you know, working

1438
01:30:52.260 --> 01:30:55.900
out and all sorts of stuff and he's trying so hard.

1439
01:30:55.900 --> 01:31:01.460
So, um, he'd probably be like, mom, get me a weighted vest so I can start bulking.

1440
01:31:03.860 --> 01:31:04.880
All right, ladies.

1441
01:31:04.980 --> 01:31:05.900
It's been fun.

1442
01:31:06.020 --> 01:31:09.940
I, again, I love coming on these Tuesday calls with me.

1443
01:31:09.940 --> 01:31:11.600
Um, don't be a stranger.

1444
01:31:12.120 --> 01:31:13.940
I'm so good to see you.

1445
01:31:13.980 --> 01:31:15.740
Um, Allah, I did respond to you.

1446
01:31:15.740 --> 01:31:18.540
I'm still waiting to kind of hear back from a few people that I know.

1447
01:31:18.540 --> 01:31:23.700
Cause I want to, I want to get people that have the same age as your kids.

1448
01:31:23.700 --> 01:31:26.980
Um, and I don't know, I haven't gone back and check.

1449
01:31:27.440 --> 01:31:31.420
What are your children, boys, girls mix?

1450
01:31:37.540 --> 01:31:38.960
Oh, I'm frozen.

1451
01:31:39.300 --> 01:31:39.800
Hi, sorry.

1452
01:31:40.460 --> 01:31:40.660
Okay.

1453
01:31:40.700 --> 01:31:41.080
Yes.

1454
01:31:41.420 --> 01:31:43.160
It, uh, both boys and girls.

1455
01:31:43.780 --> 01:31:44.380
Okay.

1456
01:31:44.380 --> 01:31:46.980
Your nine year old is boy or girl?

1457
01:31:48.240 --> 01:31:48.840
A boy.

1458
01:31:49.420 --> 01:31:50.020
Okay.

1459
01:31:50.300 --> 01:31:51.140
That's helpful.

1460
01:31:51.140 --> 01:31:52.900
Cause I have a 10 year old who is a boy.

1461
01:31:52.900 --> 01:31:55.740
So I know people in that age that are boys.

1462
01:31:56.120 --> 01:31:58.500
So I will, again, that helps significantly.

1463
01:31:58.800 --> 01:32:02.280
So I'll reach out to a few people and we'll get you some community

1464
01:32:02.880 --> 01:32:05.760
surrounded, surrounded to kind of help you with that single mom life.

1465
01:32:05.780 --> 01:32:06.900
I totally get it.

1466
01:32:06.900 --> 01:32:07.940
And just be encouraged.

1467
01:32:08.020 --> 01:32:09.300
You're not going to be a single mom forever.

1468
01:32:10.340 --> 01:32:10.780
Okay.

1469
01:32:10.780 --> 01:32:14.340
There's Kinsman redeemers out there, but I do think, I don't know if

1470
01:32:14.340 --> 01:32:16.080
you got to see my response to you.

1471
01:32:16.160 --> 01:32:19.460
I do want to challenge you with some of the beliefs that you're aligning

1472
01:32:19.460 --> 01:32:24.380
with about, um, that a red flag is a man that's never been married.

1473
01:32:24.380 --> 01:32:29.560
I was not married and I was 40 years old when I first got married.

1474
01:32:29.960 --> 01:32:32.140
So let's, let's unpack that.

1475
01:32:32.240 --> 01:32:32.440
Okay.

1476
01:32:32.440 --> 01:32:33.660
Spend some time with the Holy spirit.

1477
01:32:34.020 --> 01:32:36.460
Come, come and let us know how that works.

1478
01:32:36.500 --> 01:32:36.920
Okay.

1479
01:32:37.080 --> 01:32:38.340
We're here for you.

1480
01:32:38.340 --> 01:32:41.580
And then Anna, I have, I thought I sent you an email.

1481
01:32:42.680 --> 01:32:44.260
I think I got distracted.

1482
01:32:44.500 --> 01:32:49.000
So I will be sending that out in the next day or two, but I did see it.

1483
01:32:49.000 --> 01:32:52.140
So I don't want you to feel like, you know, I got to, and

1484
01:32:52.140 --> 01:32:54.680
I have what you shared as well.

1485
01:32:54.780 --> 01:32:55.780
So I'm going to send that back to you.

1486
01:32:55.780 --> 01:32:57.920
Cause I do want you to repost.

1487
01:32:58.160 --> 01:32:59.880
We're just going to take away that link.

1488
01:32:59.980 --> 01:33:00.340
Okay.

1489
01:33:00.720 --> 01:33:01.340
Sound good.

1490
01:33:01.460 --> 01:33:03.300
But I have, I have the content.

1491
01:33:03.360 --> 01:33:05.340
Like I was like, Oh my gosh, I was so excited.

1492
01:33:05.760 --> 01:33:10.120
I was so happy for you, but I'm like, I can't keep this up, unfortunately.

1493
01:33:10.360 --> 01:33:12.940
So I will send that to you so you can copy and paste it.

1494
01:33:12.960 --> 01:33:14.480
You know how to remember like what you shared.

1495
01:33:14.520 --> 01:33:14.820
Okay.

1496
01:33:14.820 --> 01:33:16.980
But I was so happy to see you posting.

1497
01:33:17.120 --> 01:33:18.760
It looks like you're doing well.

1498
01:33:19.000 --> 01:33:21.840
And things are going well, so I'm super happy for you.

1499
01:33:22.700 --> 01:33:23.040
All right.

1500
01:33:23.340 --> 01:33:25.520
So again, ladies, thank you so much for coming.

1501
01:33:25.840 --> 01:33:29.820
I love you all check out Ebony's call tonight, if you can, or

1502
01:33:29.820 --> 01:33:30.860
at least watching the replay.

1503
01:33:31.100 --> 01:33:33.240
And I will see you all next week and in the app.

1504
01:33:33.340 --> 01:33:33.680
Okay.

1505
01:33:34.200 --> 01:33:34.520
Thanks.

1506
01:33:34.580 --> 01:33:34.680
Love you.