There we go. Welcome to men's heart check in. September 1.
This is September 1 Labor Day 25 him.
You know the call we just every time anybody's new to the call just give me an opportunity to sort of introduce yourself and to say, you know, who you are, where you from, kind of what you do and then just a little bit about Lena, or what you're getting
out of your journey or what you're hoping to get at least since you just started out of your heart work journey.
So obviously my name is Tim, I live up in Minnesota.
Um, I discovered Jackie when she messaged me after somebody in a Facebook group pointed out my intro to her. This was two years ago, when you were actually on the zoom call I did with her.
Okay, walking reading.
Okay. Yep, that. So that was way back then.
Um, I finally sprang for joining this now this year because I saw her mega deal for $97. Oh yeah.
That, and God put my dream girl in my life back in February and I'm trying to somehow be ready to pursue.
So yeah, everywhere. Okay.
And what's your, what's your, who's your dream girl.
I'm just making sure this never leaves the call because this needs to remain top secret right now. Right, yeah. Her name's Abby.
Okay, got it. Yeah.
Got it.
Okay, absolutely bonkers story. Back in.
And you guys are you guys are talking right now.
What you guys are talking. We're friends. Okay, we're friends, your friends. Okay.
She's one of my better friends but it's not a best friend.
Got it.
Um, but this is, I gotta tell you this bonkers story. Sure. Back in 2022 I saw some local girl in a Facebook group went to a profile she seemed like a quality human.
I sent her a message she never replied.
But I also saw the thumbnail of a pretty blonde friend.
So I went to that girl's profile and I think I found through her profile photos, three or four times.
Um, one of the times I absentmindedly prayed.
God, I think this girl smart I want to meet her.
And then completely forgot about for a couple years.
Well, on February 10.
I an invitation to a singles Valentine's Day party got posted on my church's Facebook group.
And so I immediately sent a message to the girl that shared that saying I want to go.
And then I looked at her profile I was like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I recognize this profile.
It was that same girl that I had seen back in 2022. And after the party on my way home. I finally remembered that I had told God I wanted to meet her.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then you met her.
Yes, it.
Yeah.
I'm still a little freaked out thinking about this.
Okay, so and so how's it going so far you say your friends were friends yeah she has started dating somebody else, since we met.
Okay.
I don't know how serious they are at this point, I've seen them holding hands she doesn't put him in her like trip photos on Facebook.
They're not Facebook official yet, so I don't know.
Okay, I think she uses dating just to get to know guys because she has a lot of stories that start with I dated this one guy.
Ah, okay.
Okay, so it's one of the pros.
So well, where you're not really in contrast, you know, you just don't really have.
It's just, it's just not working out that way yet.
Or if, if ever, depending on, I mean there's a lot of a lot of in that scenario that you know obviously you don't control.
But at the same time, you're open and you're available, and you're like, okay, you know, just kind of seeing what's possibility here we'll see, see how this goes where this goes.
Are you in our regional proximity to this person.
We live about an hour away.
Okay.
And so have you ever met.
up to, to, to get together, uh, on either a date or just as a friend or,
um, many times in both group and one-on-one as friends.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Uh, with, I haven't really tried to see her this often, but lately we've been
seeing each other's faces close to once a week, uh, via like what?
Like just zoom or zoom or whatever parties or the state fair or, um, next
weekend, we're planning on getting some friends to go log rolling at a local
festival thing, um, Bible study group.
It's just all kinds of stuff.
She hosts parties for her friends every month cause she loves hosting people.
Okay.
I've gotten included in that last month, last month for her birthday,
14 of us went whitewater rafting.
Yeah.
So, okay.
So you're, you're, you're in the mix.
You're in the mix there.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
Um, are you, are you, are you decidedly saying, okay, this is the person that I
am sort of like interested in at this point, even though obviously you don't
control the situation or are you also connecting with other women in terms of,
or open to connecting to other women, either just for like a casual date,
friend date, that kind of thing?
Um, I am less open to connecting with other women than I was a couple months ago.
Okay.
Um, there was one girl from my church who I've made some efforts to know better
and all those efforts have gone absolutely nowhere.
But through just circumstances, it has not worked out.
Okay.
And should it, should it not work out with this particular girl that
you've met and become friends with?
And for whatever reason, it doesn't work out and it's pretty obvious.
It's not going to be a thing.
Um, because obviously in a relationship, you know, you have to choose each other.
And, um, one choosing doesn't really work out, you know, so well, but if, if
should she, and you have to move on
you're frozen again, feel about that, you know, what's that?
You froze after, I don't remember what word you froze after when you were talking
about, should you have to move on because of the, should you have to move on?
And this doesn't work out.
How would you feel in the moment?
Not good.
Not good to what degree?
Um,
I'm not sure how to answer that.
I mean, not good.
Like as man, that sucks and have a bad day or like, I'm going
to have a bad month or year.
Um, I'd probably cry a lot.
Yeah.
I mean, definitely you, and you'd have to, you'd have to come to
resolve some resolve with that.
You know, because again, you know, in this situation, I'm not
um, you're, you're not in control, obviously of what somebody else feels
or does or, or, or wants that kind of thing.
So even if they're, you know, quote, in your opinion, making
the wrong decision, if you will.
So, um, that's definitely something to, you know, to keep in your mind,
because right now, you know, this isn't, this is just a friendship.
Could it turn into, um, a situation where it could become
more, become more intentional?
Yes, of course it could.
There's, there's possibility there, but currently because she
technically is dating somebody else, that's really not an option.
You know what I'm saying?
So I am, you could for a time
frozen again, keep holding a candle for this person.
I mean, I don't necessarily know that that's the best advice, but
at the same time you could do that.
But you also have to keep in mind, um, the reality of that situation as well.
So you froze up for a time.
Sorry.
Am I freezing for everybody else as well?
Yep.
It's always when you're outside.
Sorry, guys. I'm moving around too. Maybe I should just, maybe I should go off of Wi-Fi and cellular.
Let me do my, stop my video. Can you hear me now? Is that better?
I can hear you just fine. Yep. Yeah. You're coming through clear, Dave.
Okay. Let me just keep it like that. Maybe that's, that'll be a better connection.
What I was saying was, is that, you know, you have to keep in mind that because you don't control the situation. I mean, yeah, you're in relationship with this person because you know them.
You're in a, what we call a level one relationship. You're in some sort of knowledge. They know you, you know them, you know, and you're in some sort of proximity with regard to a friend group, even though you're an hour away.
But in order for it to go to another level, obviously something would have to change on her side and you really don't have the control over that.
So that's definitely something you want to process through so that if it ever comes to that, where like, that's not going to be a thing, that's not going to be an opportunity with her because she truly moves on.
Whether you believe she made the right decision or not.
You know, you don't want to be devastated. You don't want to be like, Oh my God that my life's over. I'm going to be depressed for, you know, a month.
You definitely want to be able to, you know, to, to move on healthily, you know, so that's something to maybe just to process through and like, okay, I want to, I want to bring some balance to this and ask Holy Spirit to really help you bring some balance to that and get some good support around you as well.
Does anybody else in your friend group know that you're interested in this girl in that way.
And do they know the both of you.
Nobody that knows the both of us, I did.
I needed to share the story with somebody after the Valentine's Day party and I realized, I, yeah, this is an actual answer to prayer that I completely forgot about.
I told a couple at my church that I'm a little bit closer with.
Yeah, there are, they're the ones that do the premarital counseling for what it's worth. Yeah. So, I've gotten some good advice about specific situations from them.
That's good.
I'm glad that you have somebody that you can that you can go to so definitely keep that relationship solid.
Because those kinds of individuals in proximity to you will will definitely help.
So, well wish you well in that regard, Tim, and as far as your heart work you said you joined just recently.
Is that something that you're getting some good stuff out of as far as the heart work training teaching.
I'm still working on week one.
Okay, that's fine.
No, the best thing, the best thing to do is to go at your own pace and to do it at a pace at which you know makes sense to you so however long it takes I mean it is designed.
You know, four weeks, five weeks.
But at the same time, I mean there's a lot of people that do it at their own pace, so no worries on that.
Don't feel like, take, take the time that's necessary to get the healing that you need. In other words, yes.
I think it was one of the videos said five to 10 weeks.
So that's about what I'm.
That's good, that's good.
Yeah, that works out just fine.
Awesome.
Well we bless you in that endeavor Tim and I'm just glad you're active and out there, you're being social.
And that's, that's all good.
It's all good.
Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate it. Hey, what do you do, Tim.
I work in sales for an exterior remodeling company.
Okay, okay, cool.
I'm up there and did you say you said Minnesota Wisconsin I'm sure I'm sorry.
Minnesota.
My grandmother was from actually my yes my grandmother was from Minnesota, and my great grandmother for many years when I was a child, had a lake house actually a little cottage.
It was a it was a log cabin.
Actually, she lived in up on Lake Nichols, which is I think north of Duluth. So,
Okay, I know there's a lot of lakes up there, but anyway, yeah, that's a long ways from me. Yeah. Yeah anyway
I just kind of just curious the ties there the minnesota. Okay
Uh guys, what else is going on?
Me until you have your hand raised what's going on with you?
Well, i'm working focusing on myself on tremendous workout
However, I have part of my reset where I have with this petro guy from challenge from reset
About dating a woman in terms of developing social skills
I did meet someone a singles group in the cleveland chapter. Her name is britney
Shinkum, she was with christy and I thought if I reach out to her connect try to connect with her
I told my heart work and we've been doing
since march 2
Um
and of course I asked her about
About her and she asks back about me
Basically, i'm just thinking about how can I get this to happen?
Because you know when when you know when guys have this fear about asking someone out
Well, i'm figuring out I shouldn't have this. What can I was thinking about? How can a person feel?
And and I how do you think they feel?
um, how would you like to be treated? I want to be treated like this because during the summer her
Her dad was having problems during easter and ask her how she's been she goes. Oh, it's great
How about you and I ask ask about this, but I don't just give a blatant answer
I want to give out what i've been up to and and make it a way where she could connect with me
Describing way where she can can she and I can connect ask her father. She goes. Thanks for asking, uh, he's
Long, thank you for asking me. I have to show there's two things that can happen one. You just you just chat with her
Just you you can't just chat with a woman and waste her time
You gotta make the conversation worth her time that you show that you really care
Basically, it's all about you worshiping the person you're wishing you had her possessed her and so on
But that's just all about you and you're and that's me only being in it just because there's something in it for me
When you should be trying to do is focus on intimacy and connecting and think about what the other person wants and
And and that's what I want to strive for
So I asked her how she's been and then I thought about coming back because I went home for this weekend for labor day
and I asked her
I asked her how
Asked her
I told her i'm gonna be coming in from ohio and and she goes. Oh, that's great
I asked her about breakthrough and she goes that's great. How you been and she I even saw her in person too
By the way when I was in ohio
Only saw her in person
twice
and then I was saying I was gonna come back to ohio and for labor day and
And this is what i'm gonna do and go to mount vernon and she said the same thing and asked her
You know, I have my spare. I have spare time sat anymore. You want a cup of coffee?
I was thinking come on just do it and then make her feel like she because girls want to want to be
Want to be to ask up more of a valid thing rather than you trying to seek validation from her
You're trying to make one where she's honored and that and that make it in a way where she sounds honored. She goes
She goes. Sorry. I haven't responded. She's been busy this weekend may not be great
be on the phone much but
But so I won't be able to make it to coffee
So I figured all right, that's cool. I'll say all right. Thank you for letting me know
So I figured you know what?
Come on hunter be the leader just stand up and step up to the plate part of me and me says come on
Honey, you can do it. You can do it. You can do it
Why doesn't it shy away
I love it
That's awesome. I love the growth. I love the maturity. I love the the forethought
What a champion that you're becoming. I love it
Well, let's just thank the jujitsu because i'm always that afraid that we're going live
I was like, you know, it's gonna take me down. I'm gonna be
You know, i'm gonna he's gonna make me submit while I did that
But you know what come on just stick the guys that are on my team during live during their outer jojo just said
They'll kind of just remember when you wrestle just do what you just remember what you were taught
Just stick to wrestling and I did takedowns and look I I even have it on my phone too
Figuring out that builds confidence
That is awesome
Yeah building confidence confidence is huge guys. I mean
I mean
Even when you're married and you're in a committed relationship
your confidence is still going to be very necessary to serve you well to be able to
Navigate the challenges and things that come at you. I mean
You're going to need that the rest of your life. It's not just uh, you know scoring the
The spirit made and getting married and then okay life all of a sudden is just you know grand again
Amy, it will be certainly for that, you know that season that honeymoon season, of course, but you know life
um continues to
Bring you challenges
and bring you all sorts of things that are inviting you to mature and to man up and to
overcome. And so, um, confidence is a huge thing to be able to, um, really be able to like,
not only have, but continue to have, you know, it's like one, if you have confidence in
one area or if you have a confidence in a certain season, your life doesn't necessarily mean you're
have confidence in another season or in other areas of your life. You have to, you know,
you have to build it up through experience, um, through, you know, doing hard things, um,
being brave, um, getting the input of others, getting encouragement from others. And, um,
I mean, it's good to encourage yourself. David encouraged himself in the Lord, but at the same
time, um, it's also helpful to have people in your life that you can get encouragement from as
well. So, so good. Thank you Hunter for sharing. I appreciate that. Uh, my fear of rejection,
my answer is this, there's rare tragedies in the world. And I asked her because you know what,
even if you don't get, there's not, you don't have anything, you have a lot to lose. So I'll
Yeah, that's true. It's good. Dave and David, what do you got guys?
Yeah. So I, uh, it's funny. So before, uh, Supernatural Saturday, I was really praying.
And on Friday I was like, Oh man, I would love there to be like a men's prayer group for like,
uh, last year single, wouldn't that be so cool. And then, uh, you know, when I listened to
Supernatural Saturday and also, uh, the activation on Sunday, I was like, Oh man, like Jackie's like,
it's all about prayer now. And I was like, Oh, wouldn't that be so cool if we had like a men's
prayer group? And then the Lord's like, wait, wait. And I said, Lord, could I talk about it
at bed's group? And then he was like, okay. So that's what I've been praying about. And I was
just so excited when I heard the activation on Saturday, cause I was like, yeah, like let's get
a men's prayer group. Awesome. Yeah. And we used to do some men's prayer early. We should do it
in the early morning. So guys could get on there before work and whatever, but, um,
yeah, it's definitely, it's definitely a very needed thing. Um, there's a difference,
especially, uh, when the men join like a co-ed prayer session and begin to pray the women love
to hear, um, men who are willing and, and, um, wanting to pray. Um, you don't have to be super
eloquent and have all the preacher voice or anything like that, but, uh, have all the,
the right things to say. It's just a matter of the sincerity of the heart, willing to step forward and
to, and, and to speak, um, on behalf of others. That's what prayer is speak, um, to the Lord and
things, uh, and debt and, and, uh, articulate and declare things, um, in the spirit and to lift up,
uh, that's really powerful. So definitely, um, it's going to be, it's going to be good to do that.
So, um, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, go ahead, bro. Yeah, no. And the other thing I was like, oh,
and that I just love poetry. So like my favorite thing is open my poetry and I'm like, oh, they
should do poetry where people share poetry. That's just because I love it. But the other,
the other thing that I've been praying about this week is that like, cause I just finished
the heart work and I did my spotlight, but I'm like, okay, Lord, do I go back on the dating apps
or do I just ease back into this? Like, you know, like, so that's kind of where I've been at this
week of like, okay, let's, I've been talking to a couple people who found me after the spotlight,
but, um, I'm like, okay, do I ease slowly back into it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, um, you
kind of just kind of follow your heart on that. You know, I think, I think Holy Spirit will reveal
to you kind of like what it is that you, um, follow the desire, I guess, you know, and,
and you want to start trusting yourself and the desire that you have inside of you towards,
towards, you know, righteous endeavor, uh, righteous things, good things.
And when you follow that desire, you're like, okay, I think I, I think I really want to do this,
you know, and, um, step out a little bit, see what happens and, um, evaluate, reassess,
do some hard work if it's necessary and then try again, you know? So yeah, keep, keep going for
sure. Keep making progress. And even if it's just a little progress, uh, that's better than no
progress at all, you know, and sometimes you gotta, sometimes you gotta stop and wait. I know
a few weeks ago, you were really, you're really struggling with the forgiveness part of it.
So it was like a pause thing for you.
Like you were, you were pausing to like, man, I've got to, I'm coming
up with some major resistance.
I'm coming up with some major, you know, uh, sort of roadblocks, if you will.
And you had to process through that and you worked through it and you stuck
with it and, and, and got through, I think.
And, um, so it's just like with anything, you know, you continue to make
progress as best you can.
Yeah.
And I think like, when I asked the Lord, like, Hey, why do I feel this way?
The, what I hear, what I'm hearing back is like, why do you think you're not ready?
You know, like, that's what I feel like.
Why do you think you're not ready?
Yeah.
I will tell you, you know, it doesn't surprisingly in a lot of ways, um, it
doesn't take much to break through, you know?
Um, typically there's that old adage, you know, there's, there's stories behind it
and there's analogies and a bunch of different visual, you know, word pictures
for this, but, you know, there's a lot, there's that old story.
I'm sure you've heard it told a lot of different ways where, you know, we as our
human nature, lots of times we want it going after something, going after
something, going after something.
And typically we stop right at the last moment when one more scrap, one more
scrape, one more push, one more, you know, one more little thing can, can, will
break through, but we, but we stopped because we got discouraged because we
got, you know, whatever, um, we got too tired, we got too weary in it.
And so sometimes just pushing a little more.
So that's to say that sometimes it, it surprisingly doesn't take much to try
to, to keep going, to keep moving, you know, just one step at a time, keep, keep
heading down and making that progress.
And, um, Uh, instead of fooling ourselves, we've got, Oh, I've got to build up all
the strength, I got to build up all of this energy to really push this through
and get this over the goal line.
Sometimes it's just a little extra shove and it makes all difference in the world.
So be encouraged with that.
But a few more guys that joined us here on a Labor Day, Kenton, we were
commenting on the fact that I talked to one of our Canadian worker, our Canadian
staff people this morning, and we didn't, I didn't understand that Labor Day was
also Labor Day in Canada as well.
So I thought it was an American thing.
I didn't realize there was a Canadian, uh, version or that it was on the same day.
So that's how ignorant we are sometimes with these Canadian things.
Not knowing.
Yeah, that's it.
No, we're, I'm up North working anyway, so I get lots of overtime for it.
I bet.
Oh, that's good.
Good for you, man.
Are you doing well?
Not doing, yeah, not doing bad at all.
Just, uh, we get a lot of, we get tired up here a lot because we're only on, we
work 12 hours, but at the time you get off the trucks, et cetera, et cetera,
it's more like a 14 to 15 hour day, six hours of rest.
So by the time our seven days is over and we get seven days off the first day, we
just sleep right through almost the whole day.
That's the catch.
Yep.
Wow.
That's tough.
Yeah, it can be, but you know, you get used to it after a while.
It's just, yeah.
You're a tough guy for sure.
Thank you.
Well guys, um, who else has got something, uh, on their heart?
Uh, anything that are up against tonight?
Well, I do actually.
Go ahead, brother.
It's as it was last time you heard from me, it's we're just stuck.
Uh, the, the girl that I'm in third phase, uh, dating with right now, uh, when she
had her phone appointment with Jackie on the day that Jackie had that attack.
And so of course then they wish she didn't show up.
Of course.
And we found out later why, of course, it's a good reason not showing up.
Yeah.
Bad reason.
It all depends how you look at it.
But in the meantime, uh, it did set us back again because now her point where
Jackie won't come till maybe October, because they put her at the back of the
list now, and we're hoping to get this all settled in August so we could be moving
to a possible, if everything worked out for a December wedding and now it won't.
Everything's been set back to the point where December won't
be a possibility for us now.
And so she's just, just wrote to Jackie and says, can we, at least I send you my
questions and she, she hasn't heard back from Jackie from any of the emails
that the questions she had either.
So, uh, we're both a little discouraged in that realm.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, I'll, after this call, I will, I will make sure that, um, our
assistant, uh, is responding to that.
Can you respond?
But, uh, well, Jackie's September is completely full and then email that we
sent there, we didn't hear anything back.
And that's been over a week and a half now we sent that.
So if you can look at it, that'd be great.
Yeah, definitely.
No, where it is, because we would like to do the, um, uh, what do they
call that pre-marriage counseling?
Uh, we'd like to do that before we move forward as well.
That all takes, and we're going to see if we can't do it every second week
instead of every week, because I'm up here every second week.
Okay.
I definitely will.
I'll follow up then.
Thanks to that.
Okay, guys.
Um, you know, I wasn't going to be on here very long, so I just wanted to
kind of touch base with, with all y'all.
Uh, Steven is on here.
Stefan, how are you doing from abroad?
Hi there, David.
I'm doing well.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
So I popped up a little bit late, but that's okay.
Yeah.
We were, we were going to do a little short session tonight anyway, just to kind
of, cause it's labor day here and we're all involved in different things.
So, so good to hear your voice with blessings on your, um, your situation
and your, you're moving forward in Jesus name.
Yeah.
So I'm engaged and my fiance is moving down in October.
So a month from now, which is awesome.
Congratulations on that.
That's awesome.
Celebrating that.
We wish you well on that.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Well, guys, let me, let me pray real quickly for us and, um, and then we'll,
we'll head out, but father God, we just thank you, Lord, for each one of these
men, we just bless them, we just speak life over them, we thank you right now
that you're doing amazing things in their life, that you are leading them
in the path that they should go, um, that you were giving them resources.
They're giving them wisdom, the confidence and the courage to be able
to move forward in the name of Jesus.
And I just thank you right now for each one of them, because you, they are
exactly where you have them and where you want them to be and you're meeting them.
They're meeting you there and they are intersecting with you and they are
above and not beneath because they're above average in that sense, a lot of
guys that are not doing the work and these guys are doing the work and we
want to honor that and bless that in Jesus name, amen, amen.
God bless you guys.
Have a great evening and we'll see you later at a later date.
Excellent.
Thank you.
Welcome.
God bless.