Hello. Good evening, everyone. It's so great to be here tonight. Hopefully y'all have been
enjoying your labor day to some degree and taking a break in the middle of the day or
something to have that Sabbath and rest and all the things that God wants to give you.
I want to say welcome to all of our new ladies. If you're joining us for the first time, if
you've never been here for a live session before, excuse me, go ahead and put that in
the chat for us so that we know to welcome you and just celebrate you as you're taking
this initial step to come here into the community and begin this amazing journey with us. Welcome
back for everyone else that's been here before. We're so glad to have you joining us again.
Jennifer, welcome. Anyone else? Kalandra was here this afternoon. That's right. Hi, welcome
back. Sarah B, first time for you. Anyone else? Anyone else joining for your first time?
Imelda? So welcome, ladies. If there's others, go ahead and you can put those in the chat.
I'll welcome you as we go. For all my other ladies, as I was saying, welcome back. We're
so glad that you continue to invest in the best investment and that is yourself. Our
heart, our heart healing is one of the most powerful things that can transform and change
our lives because the more that we heal, the more we receive the truth of what heaven
is saying over us to us through the word of God, timeless truths that we can study, but
also the real time word that God has for us. If you weren't joining us last night, I have
a couple of housekeeping tips. It's totally fine. Y'all ladies just want you to know the
main thing that we want you to work on is the heart work. OK, so heart work videos,
heart work, heart work, book reading, journaling, and then typically we would do Supernatural
Saturday every Saturday this during the month of September. If you have not heard, we're
going to actually be doing just consistent Monday through Sunday prayer. And so that
is something that God is putting on Jackie's heart, our heart as a community. I'm going
to be really leaning into just the importance of prayer and the transformative work that
it's already done in our movement. Y'all, there's people now that are married because
of the prayers that we've been praying for years. And so I want you to think about that
when you show up, if you're able to join us ever on a prayer call. And if you can't join
us live on a prayer call, I want to encourage you to take even if it's 15 minutes, one day
a week to just pray for the movement, to pray for God's blessing and his hand upon the leaders
and all of those that are here walking out this amazing journey of heart healing or those
that are beyond you praying and trying to meet their spirit mates and all of the things
your prayers make a difference. Okay. So we're seeing God do some stuff. We're getting ready
to celebrate our fifth year anniversary. And that is amazing. And so thankful for all that
God has done. The Supernatural Saturday from this last Saturday is under the replay tab.
If you want to look at that, it is about Sabbath and intentional rest. And I want to encourage
you all, this is really important. Even while you're in the heart work, as you're taking
steps forward and you're healing to take the pauses to spend time with the Lord to rest
and really allow your body to be rejuvenated and revived through the power of the Holy
Spirit. So you'll see the prayer times in your event calendar ladies. So for those of
you that are joining new, I want to encourage you to go in the app, make sure that you swipe
all the way because there's additional tabs there. The events calendar will list your
days and times. The one thing I did say this afternoon, and I want to make sure you all
know to do this because there were some people that were saying they were there on the prophetic
ministry night last night and no one was there, but we were definitely there. So what's happened
is some of you all might need to change your time zone. So when you open the event calendar,
okay, when you're in the app, make sure that it's set to your time zone. Okay. All of our
meetings are our events typically on Sunday evenings, prayer, or the prophetic ministry
night is 8 p.m. Eastern standard time. Okay. But make sure that that's set to your time
zone correctly. And that way you won't show up when it's already over before it starts
or all the things. Okay. All right. A couple other housekeeping things for those of you
that are new would love to have you do an introduction post in the group. Tell us a
little bit about yourself and then choose a photo that you love or that you think represents
you really well and include that with that post. This is a part of you practicing being seen known
and loved not only in life in general, but in this community. And I want to encourage you all.
to not be someone that just kind of hangs out and like you're doing the hard work but you're
not really engaging with the community. God brought you here for everything that this community offers
and one of the things that is a game changer for us is the hard work but it's also community.
Our community has been amazing, people have made incredible friendships and so I want to encourage
you to show up and participate. Be here on the lives, you know, do posts, do the activations.
It is going to change your life as you lean into that. All right and let's see what else did I want
to say to you all. Oh I was just going to let you all know just because I think some people maybe
didn't hear this last week and I just want to make sure everyone knows. So we don't share any outside
content into our last year single group. So what does that mean? It means social media posts,
content, devotionals from outside individuals, businesses, or ministries. We don't allow
that to be shared into our groups so if any of you ever put a post in like that you're not in
trouble or anything but we will delete the post. That's just a guardrail and a guideline we have
set up in our community. Our team just doesn't have time to vet that stuff all out and listen
to it even though you know sometimes you all might say man my pastor's sermon was amazing or
I heard this sermon or this video and it really blessed me. Even on relationships people will
sometimes post that but the reality is sometimes some of the stuff that those people are saying
aren't actually in alignment with what we're teaching in this community even regarding heart
healing. And so again if any of your posts got deleted that is why. We love you. We don't want
to delete them but that's just again a boundary that we have set. So this is what I encourage
them to do this afternoon. Instead of sharing a link to that sermon or a devotional or any of
those things I want to encourage you just to generalize it. I heard an amazing sermon this
weekend and this is what God was saying to me through it. I read an incredible devotional
this morning. You don't need to name the devotional. You don't need to name who it's by.
All you need to say is this is what God is saying to me through it okay and that will
translate through amazingly okay. So everyone on board with that? Everyone okay? All right awesome.
Let me pray for us and we're going to jump into our content tonight. Father thank you so much for
everything that you're doing. God thank you for helping us to hear what your spirit is saying to
us. We thank you for revealings for healing that have already taken place in our lives as well as
those that will take place tonight. God we thank you that you've led us here. You brought us here
for such a time as this. Help us to lean into your heart, to lean into your spirit. God that we would
hear your voice louder than any voice of the enemy. We thank you that you would remove blind spots and
filters tonight. God that you would help us as your daughters to receive a fresh
impartation of your love, of your peace. God of the fullness of the spirit so that we can be empowered
to walk in forgiveness, to walk in kindness, to walk in gentleness towards other people.
We thank you God that you have forgiven us so we can forgive others. We thank you that you'll help
us to have the courage to step into that tonight and we just believe it and we we thank you Holy
Spirit even for being here among us. Just weaving in and out of the conversations and the coaching
and just ministering to every one of these ladies that are here tonight as well as those that will
and watch the replay to receive everything that you have for them in Jesus name. Amen.
All right y'all so we're walking into forgiveness tonight. That's what we're going to be talking
about. I'm so glad that we are here tonight. I do believe that we are here for such a time as this.
I'm always very like God thank you so much for all the people that are here right now tonight
together. Same thing this afternoon. Y'all there's never going to be the exact same people
every single time at every session you're at. It's kind of miraculous and wonderful if you
think about it. Oh yes Sarah V you can put that that intro there in the chat too but yeah put
that in the last year single app group in the community tab. All right thanks for doing that.
And so tonight as we start to go into the forgiveness topic I want to go ahead and
you all real quick and what does that mean? That means I'm just going to ask you to do something
and what I would encourage you to participate. So this is my my activation for you. Would love
to have you all share briefly okay in the chat so it doesn't need to be super long y'all.
What is something that you have been forgiven for or of? What's something that God has forgiven
you for forgiven you of? Go ahead and put that in the chat for me. Let's activate.
Okay so yes sin let's get a little bit more specific.
ladies. Okay. So I love that. Crystal, thanks for starting us off. What is something God
has forgiven you for? It could be your whole life. It could be any time. Okay. So Erica
said something that I've been forgiven for is lying and sexual immorality. Awesome. Disrespect
toward my mother, Sarah V. I might not be able to keep up with names because now we're
starting to move for being critical towards myself, putting foot in my mouth, flashing
out at people close to me, bring, uh, being sarcastic and critical towards people pass
wrong financial decisions, past addiction and reliance on sugar, religious effort, temptation,
lust, not being a good suitor for money, hurting people, believing God plays favorites, doubting
God's faithfulness, gossiping about others, being judgmental. Okay. Go ahead and continue.
Put those up there. I'm going to go ahead and start to move on. The reason I'm having
you all do this is to prepare your hearts because it's always really important for us
to think about what we've been forgiven of. And a lot of times what I have found is that
empower us to forgive others, even if we think they don't deserve forgiveness, because what's
the reality? The reality is we, myself included, didn't deserve forgiveness, but by God's grace
through what Jesus came and did, he died so that we could be forgiven and to make a way for us to
be one with Jesus as he is one with the father. He literally made a way for us to be in relationship
and be a part of the kingdom family and to never be alone. Y'all, it's incredible just to think
about it. So Martin Luther King has this quote, and I love this. And I started using this a couple
of months ago. And I think it's very, very important for us to also think about this as
we're preparing our hearts and thinking about the people that have harmed us in some way.
It says this, we must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power
to forgive is devoid of the power to love. Why don't you think about that? No shame, guilt or
condemnation, but if you have ever said at any time in your life, I cannot forgive this person,
I would love for you to raise your digital hand. If you don't know how to do that, I'm going to tell
you right now, if you hover over the bottom of your screen, or even just tap on your screen on
your phone, there should be a little raise hand thing there. Or if you don't see it there, you
might have to click the more or you might see reactions, everybody's screen kind of shows up
different. So have you ever said, I cannot forgive this person or it's too hard to forgive this
person? Or just I don't want to forgive this person. Hey, let's go there too. I have before
long time ago. But when I was in the depths of my pain years ago, and I didn't see any way out
of the problem. There was a part of me and again, this is years ago, this is before I even really
knew Jesus. And then even after I knew Jesus, you know, I was still a baby Christian learning how
to walk things out. And man, I wanted vengeance. I did. I wanted vengeance. I wanted that those
people to pay for the harm they had done. But you know, God is so good that he gets a hold of our
hearts you all he loves us and he loves us and he continues to woo us and draw us into his presence
and lead us and guide us and direct us. And he loves us so much that he doesn't want us to stay
where we are. Okay, not just where we were, even tonight. No matter what, like, you know, no matter
what, I want you to understand that every single time you come into the place where you're, you're
leaning into transformation, you're about to get an upgrade. Do you believe it? Do you receive that
forgiveness along with repentance and confession? Those three things are major reasons how we can
not only like have everything God has for us, but they are things that empower us to be able to
partner with our authentic identity. When we talk about authentic identity or your God's original
plan, the fullness of God's promises for you, y'all what we're talking about there is when you
were created long before sin or trauma or anything else ever entered your worlds, when God just
dreamed you up and he planned all this stuff, that is your authentic identity. Some of you when you
were born, you feel like you've been kind of like,
and for your life, your whole life. And I want to encourage you, like, maybe you don't really
know what it was like to have any kind of bliss or happiness. And God understands that. But see,
He knows. He knows who He originally created you to be. And so just like myself, every day,
He can lead us a little bit further, closer to that original design, closer to that authentic
identity, a place where we're so rooted and grounded in His love and secure in our identity
in Christ that we can truly have divine peace on the inside. Y'all, we show up differently.
I genuinely can tell you that my life is drastically different than it was four years
ago when I started in this community. And you all, I, like, love the Lord. I serve God all
the time. I studied the Bible all the time. I had gone to counselors. I had done other programs. But
I'm telling you, God did something so transformative in me while I was in the heartwork, which is what
you all are doing, that it radically, it started this whole paradigm shift in my life. And as I've
continued to not only work it, but coach it and lead it and pray into it, God has just continued
to just show me little by little by little all the time. Like, what does heaven sound like?
What do I sound like? Do I align with heaven? Lord, help me to hear what your spirit is saying,
not my will, but your will. And He leads us from glory to glory. So as we're talking about
forgiveness, I want you to think about this truth as well. Unforgiveness, so the opposite of forgiving,
creates tethers. I want you to think about, like, things that are bound together, okay? So if these
are tethers, they're tethering together. So when we don't forgive people, we are literally tied to
them and the situation. So those people that you might not be so fond of, that you were saying
maybe you didn't want to forgive, or maybe it was too hard to forgive, or whatever the statements
may have been, do you want to stay like this with them? I didn't. When I really grasped the
understanding that I literally would be tethered to those people and those situations, that for me,
I was like, okay, I'm in. Let's do this forgiveness thing. And I didn't want to have
that tether and that tied down thing in my life. And so I also use this little bit of a light-hearted
example. When I was in elementary school, we had a game called Tetherball. I don't know if y'all have
ever heard of it. In different countries, they may not. I'm not sure. But it's literally a pole
with a rope and then a ball on the end of it. And the teachers would come out and they would
clip that rope onto there. And then the kids would sit there and like punch this ball back around and
just have fun hitting this ball. The reason I'm using that as an example is that rope and
that ball would stay on the pole until the teacher or whoever would come and take it down
and remove it. Well, Jesus Christ came. He died for you. His blood was shed for you to be set free
from all brokenness, sin, shame, all of that. But the reality is we have to apply the blood of Jesus
Christ that was already shed for us to the situations in our lives so that we can walk
into freedom, including unforgiveness. So one of the ways we can do that is to choose to step
into forgiveness because in the same way that unforgiveness ties us, well, forgiveness, literally,
it's going to start to break, break, break, break that stuff apart. It's going to literally set you
free as well as other people free. I have another example for you. I'm going to give you a couple
different examples. It always helps people kind of relate to things and understand the content of
what we're talking about. So I love the sun. I almost said sunflowers. I got sunflowers on my
mind, y'all. Sunglasses example. So a couple years ago when we first moved to Florida, y'all, I say
and do some silly stuff sometimes. A couple of the ladies were chuckling with me this afternoon.
So we were here in Florida and we went to this beach and I was just looking out to the left
and I was looking at these clouds and they just looked so amazing and they were like peach. And
I was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, over there. And I'm like pointing. I'm like,
don't you see them? They're like right there. And he's like, there's not any peach clouds over there.
It's all white. And I was like, what? And then it dawned on me. I had my sunglasses on.
So the example I'm giving you, that was kind of a playful thing, but I was seeing something there
that was
wasn't even there because my sunglasses created this filter
that I was now seeing everything through.
Victoria's doing sunflowers.
Y'all, I love sunflowers, that made my night.
All right, and so I want you to be thinking
about unforgiveness in the sense of sunglasses
that have these filters,
not just the kind that you can see through,
but you see different colors.
And when you're looking around,
something might look darker or whatever.
Everything that is unforgiveness in us,
it causes us to see the people around us differently.
It causes us to see ourselves differently.
And so when you're walking through life,
you might think you're showing up as your true self
and just being, hey, I'm just being me.
And people aren't, they're not loving me.
They're not embracing me.
They're not, you know, wanting to be my friend, whatever.
And let's go romantic.
I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,
and it's not working.
And they're, you know, doing all these things.
Well, guess what?
You may not actually be showing up as your true self
because if you've got a lot of unforgiveness,
here's the reality.
You're showing up with all kinds of walls, filters.
You got all kinds of blockages going on.
So tonight, as I'm talking to you about forgiveness,
I wanna encourage you to choose forgiveness
because it's gonna help remove some of those filters
and things that you've been seeing yourself
and other people through.
And so it also impacts our,
the unforgiveness also impacts our ability to receive love
from other people, as well as from God.
Some of y'all have been having a disconnection
in your relationship with God.
And a lot of that has to do with the unforgiveness,
bitterness, resentment that we have in our hearts.
Do you know that bitter roots
actually can stop the flow of the Holy Spirit?
It's true.
The Bible talks about it.
So we want, and how do we get bitter roots?
Does anyone know that answer?
Well, it comes from being sad and frustrated.
And then that turns into like, we don't forgive,
we don't forgive, that's turning into resentment.
And then resentment continues to brew in there.
And then before we know it,
it starts to turn into bitterness.
And it talks about the root,
we've got to get that bitter canker root out of there.
I think somebody might be unmuted.
So just make sure y'all are on mute.
Let me catch Eloise there.
All right.
And so be thinking about that
as you're trying to connect with the Lord,
that sometimes He's always there, y'all.
He's not like pulling away from you.
But sometimes when that break is there,
yeah, sorry about that.
Sometimes when that break is there,
it's because we have moved.
It's because we have chosen to not forgive someone
and embrace what God has for us.
All right, I'm gonna read something really quickly to you
from the HeartWork book.
This is in chapter six.
For those of you that are brand new,
you don't have to skip ahead to chapter six.
The way I coach is I just pull from different weeks,
no matter what weeks you all are on,
because we have people that come into this program
every day, y'all.
Back in the day, we had everybody start at one time
and we all went through all together,
but we kinda pick and choose every week as I come in.
And so just come in with your hearts ready,
no matter what the live session,
you're gonna receive what you need, okay?
All right, so this is from chapter six
if you do wanna look it up later.
And this is what it says, blind spots and filters.
This happens so often to all of us in life.
We can't see that bomb was already there inside of us
waiting for a trigger.
When you walk into any situation,
it doesn't matter what it is, bad or good,
you don't see that thing, that place, those people,
the way that they are,
you see them the way that you are on the inside.
So think about that, I'm gonna say it again to you.
We don't see things the way that they truly are,
we see them the way that we are.
So again, remember the filters?
What are the filters that you're looking at everything
through and hearing things through?
We need God to cleanse our ears, to cleanse our eyes,
to cleanse our heart.
For instance, say you were severely hurt
by a group of people, they mistreated you,
lied about you and then discarded you.
The heart wounds and lies that were created
as a result of that trauma will give you a skewed perception
of groups in the future.
You may avoid groups or communities of people
like the plague, convincing yourself that they are all bad.
Or you might try again to search for community,
but if you do decide to join a similar group in the future,
your most significant obstacle to belonging
will be the filter that was created
by that prior experience.
So you all, when we go.
through prior things that aren't healed,
it is going to impact even how you might be showing up
in this community.
You know, some people I've been coaching
in this community for four years,
and I know everybody's different.
And so again, for those of you that hear this,
if this applies to you, no shame, guilt, or condemnation,
I know everybody's different,
but some people will literally,
they'll come and they'll do the hard work,
but they'll never engage.
They'll never let anybody see them.
They won't post.
And I wanna encourage you to not do that,
but to allow yourself to post,
to get out of your comfort zone.
You know, one of the biggest things
is the toughest things for you all,
is sometimes some people,
and I've had this happen for years too,
I really don't wanna tell the group this.
It's just too, you know, embarrassing or whatnot.
And I will always encourage you all,
always, no matter who you are, go to the group.
You gotta do it in the group.
Do you know why?
Because when we allow ourselves to be transparent and bare
and people love us anyways,
it just can shift so much
that we're not judged for the mistakes we've made,
or we're not judged for the way
that we're having a hard time processing,
or maybe we don't know what something means
in the hard work material, and we need to ask a question.
There is never a dumb question you all, ever.
Okay, so I just wanna make sure everybody knows
that we're gonna come in and respond with love
in your post and things, okay?
Matthew 22, 39 says,
"'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'"
Here's the tricky part.
There's a lot of you that don't love yourself.
And not only that, a lot of you don't even like yourself.
We're taught in the Christian circles,
you have to love yourself, you know?
And all this, so people choose to love themselves,
but they don't really like themselves.
They don't enjoy their own presence, things like that.
So I want you to be thinking about, if that applies to you,
it makes it really tough to love other people then,
doesn't it?
Because the Bible's saying,
"'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'"
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice.
Most of the time, ladies, that I've made choices to forgive,
I have not felt like, yes, I'm gonna forgive right now.
But you know what?
I've started kind of shifting to that
because I know that forgiveness, man,
it brings breakthrough.
The enemy will love for me to stay in bitterness
and not be open to loving people.
You know, I get hurt all the time.
There's things that happen all the time, okay?
But praise the Lord, God restores and He redeems
and He rebuilds and He gives back.
Ephesians 4.23 says this,
"'Forgive one another just as God forgave you
because of what Christ has done.'"
That's why we started tonight out with,
hey, tell me something in the chat
that God's already forgiven you of.
Think on those things.
Colossians 3.13 says,
"'Remember the Lord forgave you,
so you must forgive others.'"
Forgive all the characters in the story as well.
So as you all are starting to think about,
and the Lord is even ministering to some of you tonight
about, hey, man, maybe He's not saying it to you that way,
but that's how I'm talking.
Hey, daughter, He's probably saying,
hey, hey, Imelda,
like, I just wanna encourage you to forgive this person.
He's probably bringing people to your minds.
You know, this afternoon,
I said even some of you all
have been through work situations,
bosses in your past,
things that, you know,
have really brought brokenness, employees.
You know, some of you own businesses,
employees treated you wrong.
They took advantage of you as a giving boss.
You know, all different kinds of ways.
This isn't just about healing and romance
and finding your spirit mate.
This is about you getting completely free
in every area of your life,
shedding all the extra weight
that you were never intended to carry.
And so here's the other thing,
forgiving all the characters in the story
means that you also forgive yourself.
You're included in that.
And most of the time,
people have the hardest time forgiving themselves.
Eric is asking in the chat,
when you forgive, can you do it
if you're not really feeling it?
Like you say, I forgive myself,
I forgive you, but I don't feel it.
Does that still count?
Well, here's the thing.
I think it's about your heart posture
between you and the Lord.
Okay, I think that's what's really key there.
Yeah, I've absolutely.
not felt it, but I have genuinely prayed it and meant
what I was saying. Now, if you're just saying something,
but you don't really, like, you don't mean it. That's
different, right? So if I'm saying, um, you know, Lord, I
forgive, I'm just going to make a name. I'm going to, I forgive
John for, you know, lying to me and deceiving me in this
situation. And whatever the situation was, well, I'm
choosing to forgive. I might not have felt like it, but I
still chose it. Yeah. So it's all about our heart posture.
Yes. Yes. Erica, that's very common. Um, but that's in the
thing here. So what she said for those that can't see the
chat, I always got to remember my replay people. She said,
dang, I'm like, dang, I just don't want to do it. Yeah. A
thing. That's our flesh talking. When we follow after the
spirit, the spirit is always going to lead us to forgiveness.
It's always going to lead us to love. It's always going to lead
us to grace, the fruits of the spirit. If you think about those
alone, that tells you what the spirit is full of. And so if we
are walking in unforgiveness and even like, oh, I just don't want
to do it. Well, yeah, I don't always want to do it either
because my flesh is crying out for something different. My
flesh wants vengeance. My flesh wants to see payment, you know,
whatever that is. But praise the Lord. God redeems us and he
helps us not, um, continue to stand in those places.
Forgiveness also happens in layers, ladies. So does healing.
I want you to understand that it's super important. Some of
you all have forgiven people before, and you've done a lot of
work in some areas. And while you're here in the heartwork,
that situation might bubble back up. Okay, it just might. It
doesn't mean that what you did before didn't count or didn't
work. But typically what's happening is God is bringing you
another layer of revelation about that situation. And he
wants to heal another layer of that thing. He wants to heal
another part of your heart, because he's going to give you a
fresh understanding of it. So everyone understand that?
Forgiveness happens in layers, healing happens in layers. I try
to encourage you all to just kind of like if you were, you
know, a car hood, sometimes they pop the hood and you just look
up under it, see what's going on. I want you to think about,
you know, when you have to revisit situations, it doesn't
necessarily mean you have to walk all the way back through
everything. Some, some of you all might need to do that. But
oftentimes, we just need to kind of, okay, Lord, I trust I'm in
this process. I trust that if you're bringing this situation
up right now, even though I've worked on this before, Lord, I
believe there's something you're trying to show me. Lord, can you
reveal to me what area of my heart still needs healing
regarding the situation? Is there something that I need to
know that I didn't know before? And that's typically how I do
it. That's what God taught me through this program. And I
believe that if you're going to do that, you're going to
experience healing. And you're going to experience new, new
healing, you know, as you go as well. All right, I'm going to
talk a little bit before we go into breakout sessions about
victim versus survivor versus thriving. And the reason I love
to combine this with forgiveness is that a lot of people when
they are partnered with unforgiveness, they will stand
in the heart posture of victim. Okay, victims often and again,
if this is where you're at, there is no shame, guilt or
condemnation. If you're hearing it, if you're hearing it that
way, I want to alert you to something. That isn't how I'm
saying it. So you might have a blind spot or a filter over the
ears that you're hearing through that comes from a wound in your
Okay, super important that you know that. So victims tend to
stand and feeling helpless, blaming other people, focusing
on the past. So for example, sometimes people will, like it's
all their fault that I'm in this financial mess. Now, other
people might have done something to you that did, like, lead you
in that place. But here's the reality. Like if we sit and
blame them, we're giving them so much power. You aren't a victim.
God wants to heal you and bring you out of that into a place of
thriving. Do you believe that God can give you everything back
that was taken from you? Like fully? Do you really believe it?
Do you really believe that God is a
out of restitution, redemption, restoration,
that he's a builder?
Or do you still tend to believe
that God's actually a demolisher?
One who tears down, breaks it apart,
has no good for you, doesn't fulfill his promises.
Be thinking about where does your heart tend to go
when hard things happen?
So I'm gonna activate you really quick here again.
I want you to, you don't have to put this one in the chat.
This one's more for you, okay?
I want you to just think about right now,
when something hard or bad happens,
what is your go-to thought?
What is the thought that you typically have
when those things happen?
And I want you just to kind of capture that
in your phone or your notes
so that you can be aware of this for later on.
What is your go-to thought?
So maybe your go-to thought is,
this is never gonna happen for me.
This is never gonna work.
Nobody ever loves me.
Nobody ever makes time for me.
I'm always left out.
I'm never chosen.
You know, there's so many I could say, you all.
There's so many I could say.
If you wanna put yours in the chat,
you can totally put yours in the chat.
I know not everyone is gonna want to, and that's all right.
Erica said hers is, why does this happen to me?
That's good, you're seeing a shift.
Oh, God is teaching you, that's awesome.
God is never gonna come through.
I always just think that others don't really care about me.
I'm always gonna be forgotten and God doesn't care.
It's all up to me.
Yeah, a lot of people.
Well, I'm just saying, Sarah,
so something in your life happens that's hard
or you experience some kind of wound
or trauma that you go through,
but everybody's bad and hard is different.
So it really depends on you and what you're walking through.
Let's see here, sorry.
God and or that person doesn't like me.
I'm never gonna get through this.
I have to figure this out on my own.
Here we go again.
How could they do this?
I don't belong here or I have to figure this out myself.
That came up twice tonight in that chat.
Lydia says, I'm cursed.
Okay, praise the Lord, you're not cursed.
We'll talk about that in a little bit.
I feel like maybe I should talk about that for a sec.
I'll never get married.
I'm not the marrying kind.
I'm not enough.
I'm always gonna be rejected.
Okay, awesome.
Keep putting that in there.
Renee says, I'm not good enough to do this thing.
Annette says, it's my fault, I'm stupid.
Make sure we're coming out of alignment
and agreement with those statements.
Those are literally self-hatred kind of thoughts in there.
All right, you all can keep putting those in there
as you start to hear more things.
All right, so remember, victim is feeling helpless.
You're standing in blame and like you're blaming others,
you're focusing on the past.
A survivor is great.
In our society, that's a big esteemed thing.
I'm not saying that's not good,
but we want you to go all the way through to thrive.
But I am gonna tell you what a survivor sounds like.
They have reclaimed their power.
They take responsibility of choices.
They choose to heal, so they do self-care.
They start saying no.
They start working on their boundaries.
But like typically, a survivor kind of, they will exist.
They will live and they will have some victory,
but they may not take the land fully,
if you all know what I'm saying.
So, you know, if you think of Joshua and Caleb,
and you think about the other people
that decided to not go into the promised land,
the people that didn't go into the promised land
ended up being survivors.
They came out of Egypt,
but they did not go into the promised land.
God wants you to go into the promised land.
He wants you to thrive.
He wants you to go into the land
flowing with milk and honey.
He wants to give you all that good stuff.
Thriving people focus on the future.
They have power regarding their future.
They surround themselves with other people who are thriving.
Thriving people grow, they prosper, they flourish.
And you all, it's okay if you're not there yet.
And let me say this too, I think it's really important.
You might be in victim posture in one part of your heart,
and another part of your heart, you might be surviving.
But typically, if you've got parts of your heart
and your attitudes and your mindsets in victim,
it's really hard for you to be in thriving, okay?
But don't give up.
Every day, do one thing in your heart work.
Do one thing to move forward,
and I promise you, you will create momentum.
Do you all know, just even like me,
like in a pool, if it's a circle pool,
I don't know if this works in a rectangle pool or not,
I'm not quite sure.
But if you're in a circle pool
and you start going in the same direction
around the edge of the pool,
do you know that eventually that will start to create
like a whirlpool effect?
It's okay if you can't swim,
you can walk to do this exercise.
But y'all, the reason I'm saying that
is that's how momentum is created.
You just keep walking and you keep leaning
into what God is telling you to do.
And every day you just take another step
and you just keep believing and trusting
that he's gonna work on your behalf.
So I want you to think about the stressors
that are in your life.
When you encounter stressors, when people are thriving,
they no longer react anymore.
What do I mean by that?
Well, when the stress and the things are applied,
sometimes people burst into reactions.
They get angry or, you know,
I don't know if y'all have ever had this happen,
but I have, even with adult people,
they stomp around and they brood
and then they leave and they slam doors.
And yeah, it's not fun.
The brooding, terrible.
It's not fun stuff to be around.
It makes you wanna laugh, yeah.
We're adults, but sometimes we just don't act like it.
Because you know why?
Because the little girl or the little boy on the inside
that's not healed in there gets triggered.
And that's what comes out.
That's what comes out.
We're literally adults that sometimes are throwing tantrums
that is the little girl or boy on the inside of us
that we're giving into.
Again, that's our flesh.
But the more that you heal,
the more we're gonna get ahold of those things.
The land of thrive, when people are living and thriving,
these are the kind of choices
that they're thinking about and making.
They think about what do they want?
How do they wanna experience the world?
Where do they wanna go?
We dream.
Part of this heart healing course
is we don't want you just to like,
oh, that's great, I healed.
No, we literally want you to awaken
in every area of your life.
To know that God has more for you,
abundantly above all you could ever ask, think or imagine.
And so you guys come in here
because God leads you in for the spirit mate
and he's like setting you up
and you just don't even know it.
You just don't even know it.
And then you're in here and it's just like,
God's gonna do some stuff in you radically
that you just weren't even asking for it.
But he knew that you needed it.
It's gonna be like a drink of water.
People that are thriving also think about
how they're gonna act.
What attitudes do we wanna have?
Do we wanna be known as the person
that always loses their cool?
Or is never satisfied?
Isn't confident?
Do we want to have attitudes of confidence,
of peace, of kindness, of positive mindsets
that we're not always thinking negative
and talking negative?
We also, those that are thriving,
think about where do we wanna focus our resources?
What opportunities do we wanna create for ourself?
So maybe you didn't necessarily think of yourself
as a builder, but I believe God has created all of us
to be a builder in one way or another.
And that looks different for everyone.
Maybe your building is painting.
Maybe your building is writing.
Maybe your building, I know a couple of people
are teachers in here.
Maybe it's working in banking.
Whatever your calling and your giftings are in,
that is how you build.
That's how you grow something.
And so be proud of who you are and really stand in that.
Okay, so we're gonna get ready to go
in the breakout session.
Here is your question.
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?
And I'm gonna get these breakout sessions ready.
We're gonna do this real quick.
As quick as I can, at least.
Okay.
Got you set up for seven minutes tonight.
So when you go in, you're gonna answer or talk about
who do you need to forgive tonight and why?
Remember, you're not coaching each other.
You're not counseling each other.
You're not giving each other advice.
You're just listening to the first person can go.
Thank them for sharing.
Thank you so much for trusting us with your questions.
And then the next person can share.
Okay, so short, brief, and powerful.
Ladies, be aware that you're in a room with,
there's gonna be two or three of you
and you're gonna have seven minutes.
So watch your time, okay,
so that everybody has a chance to go.
OK, go ahead and click to join those.
For those in leadership training,
stay here with me, OK?
All right, I'll start praying here in just a moment.
I need to make sure these ladies get situated.
I've got somebody by themselves.
Hold on, so sorry, ladies.
Yeah.
Father, thank you so much for your patience.
Lord, thank you for your goodness.
Lord, I thank you that even just some of the people
I'm having to continue to move around,
give them grace for the movement,
help them to receive everything that you have for them,
including those that are here,
those that are gonna watch the replay.
God, we thank you for the revealings for healing
taking place tonight.
God, we ask you to help us to partner with forgiveness,
Lord, that we would step into receiving the grace
that has been extended to us
and that we would give that out to others as well tonight.
We thank you that you are coming to bring truth
where there's been lies, where there's been deceit,
where there's been darkness.
We thank you for bringing the light of Christ
right into the core of those places.
We thank you for continuing to help us
to come out of alignment agreement with heart postures
that are fear-driven, that are not rooted in love,
that are based in the wounds of the past.
And I just hearing in the spirit to intimidation,
and we just thank you, Lord, that you're helping us
to hear what your spirit is saying to us tonight
and the ways that you define us
and are redefining us every day
as we are learning more, Lord, just how you see us, Lord.
Help us every day to pause and say,
Lord, how do you see me today?
I'm speaking to myself, even as I'm saying that to you all.
Just every day that we would pause and say,
Lord, help me to see what you see.
Help me to hear what your spirit wants to say to me today.
I thank you, Lord, that you would just continue to remind us
that you take our feet out of the muck and the mire
and you set our feet upon the rock
and you lead us back to you in every situation.
Glenna, did you get kicked out?
The person that joined, they would go off mute
and then go back on mute and they never showed their face,
but I kept trying to encourage him to go off mute
and I really wanted to-
Okay, I can put you back in.
What room were you in?
Six, but I don't think she's able to-
I can put you in a different room, I'm saying.
Oh, that would be great
because I really need to talk about this.
Okay, here you go.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Do you see that there for you?
No, I don't see anything yet.
Oh, I did it for Stacey.
Sorry, I did it for the other girl in there.
There you go.
All right, thank you.
Okay, you're welcome.
All right, so as we're praying and leading into that,
I wanted to read this scripture over us.
1 Peter 5, verse 8 in the NLT, it says,
"'Stay alert, watch out for your great enemy.'"
Enemy, I can't talk tonight, you all.
"'The devil, he prowls around like a roaring lion,
"'looking for someone to devour.'"
Lord, we thank you that you are bringing truth.
You're showing us where the enemy is prowling around
like a roaring lion,
seeing which areas can he devour us in.
Can he take us into isolation or withdrawal?
Lord, we thank you that you're revealing to us
the pain of the past and times where we were lonely,
where we felt abandoned, neglected,
and we partnered with the lie that nobody loved us.
That's the word for somebody that's here tonight live
or gonna watch the replay.
That isn't truth.
You were loved from the foundation of the world,
that God, when he created you, he said,
"'Man, look at her, she's beautiful, she's amazing.
"'I have fearfully and wonderfully made her.
"'I've formed her exactly the way that I wanted
"'and I put amazing things in her and I love her.'"
love her. So we thank you, Lord, for this truth. We thank you for
the reminder, God, that we are not forsaken. You will never
forsake us. You'll never leave us. You'll never turn your back
on us. God, we thank you that you would continue to help us to
just receive the truth of your love. And not only the truth of
your love, but that we would experience a tangible experience
of your love in a fresh way. Thank you, Lord, for continuing
to lead us. Also in Psalm 119, 165, in the Passion
Translation, it says this, there is such a great peace and
well-being that comes to the lovers of your word, and they
will never be offended. Wow. To be in such a place in our
hearts that we would never be offended. Father, I thank you
that we can be so filled with your peace and the well-being
that comes from being in your peace, from residing in your
presence, and loving your word and seeking you and spending
time with you that we can get to a place where we would not be
offended. Because why? I believe in Jesus' name that our hearts
are covered and they have like an extra filter when we're
literally just met like deep, deep, deep in the understanding
of God's love for us. And I just thank you, Lord, that you're
leading us into these places and spaces of truth that we have
maybe not experienced in the past. We thank you that. Yes,
Lord. He says in Exodus 26, I lavish unfailing love for a
thousand generations on those who love me and obey my
commands. Y'all, it is a command. It's not like one of
the commandments, but it is a command. God says, we must
forgive because we have been forgiven. So I want you to
understand that that's one of those, those commands that it's
talking about here. I lavish unfailing love for a thousand
generations on those who love me and obey my commands. God, I
thank you that you would help us to obey the commands that we
would obey all that you tell us to do. And Lord, that we would
do it not out of legal duty, but out of the overflow of our love
for you, that we're rooted and grounded in love. And we, we
trust that you have good things for us. And we trust that the
things that you're leading us into are good as well. We thank
you that you're also showing us all of the things, Lord, where
our, yes, Lord, our mindsets and our, our viewpoints have been
low. And what I keep seeing is like, you know, the forest for
the trees. And so some of us were looking at situations and
all we see is that thing right in front of us, but God is
wanting to take us up higher to have an eagle eye view of the
situation. He wants to give us his perspective of how he's
working all things together for good to save many people alive,
just like Genesis 50, 20 talks about when, when Joseph went
through all of that stuff, imagine he was sold by his own
brothers into slavery. Y'all used to, he was tossed in a pit
and then he gets taken out of there and he gets taken to a
castle. And then the wife of the house tries to lure him into
stuff. He didn't do anything wrong. And he gets thrown in
prison. Sounds pretty tough, right? I want you to think
about that because that is what Genesis 50, 20 comes from. To
save many people alive, God was working all of that stuff
together for good to redeem people's hearts and lives for
his glory. Welcome back, everyone. We're so glad to have
you. I see that some of you are having trouble with the audio.
Totally understand. Maybe look into how you can fix that for
next week so that if you are wanting to share, you have the
capability to share. And just, just so y'all know, we totally
understand tech difficulties. So I hope no one feels anxious
about that. Okay. All right. Really quickly, before we go
into group coaching, your activations for this week, I
will kind of put those up. I'll take the old activation from
last week down. I'll put the new one up. Step number one, complete
forgiveness prayer sheets. Where do you find those? Well, you can
find that under the welcome section. You can also find it in
week four, if you are in week four or beyond there. But really
quickly, you can find that in the welcome area. I'm going to
just show it to you real quick. Had some people asking some
really great, great questions. I'm saying all kinds of funny
stuff tonight. You can print these off and then just fill
them in. Okay, you're going to write the name of the person who
offended you. You're going to be specific, ladies. Let's not
generalize. What was the offense? Don't just
say, oh, they hurt me, you know, let's be specific.
You need to actually say, what are you forgiving them for?
And then you write their name, you know, all the things.
And then you come down here,
what is the Holy Spirit saying to you?
After you pray that prayer right above it,
you're gonna journal,
what is the Holy Spirit saying to you about this person,
this situation, about yourself?
And here's the thing, if that, if you pray this stuff
and you're asking the Holy Spirit,
like, what is it you want me to know
and you're not hearing anything?
Do y'all know it's okay to just write,
I'm not hearing anything right now, Lord, help me to hear
or to recognize the way that you speak to me
so that I know that you're talking, okay?
Because sometimes what happens is when people do this,
they're just like, I'm not hearing anything,
I'm not hearing anything.
And then they just get frustrated and they quit.
And I don't want you to do that.
Just understand that God is always speaking.
Sometimes it's just,
we're not quite sure how he speaks to us.
So it's tuning our antennas to his voice.
Another way we can learn his voice
is through reading the word of God, truly, y'all, okay?
Number two activation for this week, it goes with this.
After you do your forgiveness prayer sheet,
you're gonna come into the
Last Year Single Heartwork app group.
And in the community tab, you're gonna create a post
and your post is gonna be about
who are you forgiving this week and why?
And one post is great.
If you feel led to do more, you can do more.
It's totally up to you.
Who are you forgiving this week and why?
I want you to tell us about it, okay?
And then we're gonna go into group coaching
and hopefully Erica on that,
hopefully that was enough understanding
on how to hear his voice.
But we do have a session
as you all go further into the program.
We actually have a session on how to hear from God
that goes into really like in-depth about that, okay?
So I wanna encourage you all that that is down the road
and you'll learn more in here as well
as you're clearing out your heart,
you'll start to hear God differently
and hopefully easier and better, okay?
Awesome, Karen Roa, go ahead.
Hey, hey, I wanted to thank you and Andrea
for your great insight two weeks ago.
I responded but I know like responses to responses
aren't coming through, so I wanted to say thank you.
That was- Oh, you're welcome.
Really helpful.
In response to Andrea's question about deep grief,
it was interesting to think about,
I had been saying that it was a grief
of like not being able to share a newborn baby with my mom
because she might not be here in a year
or marriage or I was looking at those griefs
but the question peaked at the deep grief
of losing my grandmother when I was 15
but I couldn't process it because my dad was really sick,
my mom was having to keep our family together,
my sister was falling apart as well,
she was going through a breakup with an engagement,
my brother was at college,
like there was no one to turn to and grandma had died.
So that's when I started to realize
or think that I had to handle life on my own
and that's been a theme ever since.
So that question of like picking out a deep grief
got to like, did I ever actually grieve my grandma?
I don't know, I think I just went to survival mode.
Okay, that's awesome.
And then I have to handle things on my own
and it's, I keep reliving that right now
because my mom is so sick
and I saw her not be able to grieve her own mom
when she passed.
Yeah.
And I'm struggling with taking on ownership of her emotions,
her discouragement, the physical ailments.
So I went through and broke some soul ties with her today.
Yeah, I don't know what beyond that.
I think the biggest thing is,
hey, have you actually now taken the time
to grieve your grandma?
Throughout my adulthood here and there
and I think what it's picking up now is like,
I don't,
some people have said I need to make a grief plan
for when my mom does pass,
but I'm like, I don't wanna partner with that.
Well, if you're not, here's the thing,
ladies, it's really important for us to understand this.
Having a plan doesn't mean you're like,
okay, this is gonna happen, okay?
It's just saying that when the day comes
that you are going to know how you're gonna process it
or handle it.
It's just like my grandparents,
before they passed away, they went and did everything.
They did the plot of land,
they figured out all the things
because they didn't want the kids,
their grandchildren to have to deal with that.
That was kind of their.
their plan, if you will. Now, you know, I think because the
one thing I'm going to caution you on is that if it helps you
move forward, I think it will be good for you right now. But
because you have struggled to really come out of grief for so
long, my concern is that this is going to lead you right back
into that. And so I'm not saying don't make a grief plan, but
your mom, you know, isn't there yet. Right. And I, I spent the
last two days with a lot of tears. Like, I felt like I was
in deep grief. I'm like, but she's still here. Yet part of
her isn't because she's so discouraged. She's not the mom
I've always known.
Yeah, well, and this is something I want to encourage
you about too. So Job in the story of Job, it says that the
thing that he has feared came upon him. And so right now
what's happening is you're actually like, wrestling with
the spirit of fear. And you know, people change. And I know
that's hard for us. But even the reality is once you get married,
it doesn't mean people change everything about them. But like,
when hard things happen, it's hard sometimes and they need to
be able to process that and be who they really are. And, and
maybe what's happening to maybe part of what you're seeing is
maybe it's not just been grief. Maybe there's been a spirit of
depression kind of lingering over your family for a while.
Oh, yeah, generationally.
Yeah, because again, I'm not saying I know that your mom is
like struggling with depression, but that might be happening a
little bit. And if there's, you know, if you're seeing that, and
then you're taking that on yourself, then I would encourage
you to ask yourself, where do you end? And she begins,
I keep asking.
It's more just about like you. It's amazing how much you love
your family and your parents. Sometimes it's so different for
me, because like, I didn't have all that. And so I've had to
learn how to embrace people as family versus like, to, like,
oh, wait, like, maybe I am a little too close here in this
area, where it's like, there's no division between you and
them. Does that make sense? Yeah. And so you know, part of
this as well. That's why I keep encouraging you. I really like
God wants you to live Karen. He wants you to enjoy your life,
even though it's hard. And your mom's going through something
hard, you living and thriving is going to tremendously bless her.
Well, you like you just start. So one of the things ladies,
remember, I said that our brain has to get rewired over time,
it's not an immediate thing. And if we try one time, and then we
just quit, then, then we're not going to be able to rewire the
brain. And that's what's happening right now. Like you
have to rewire your brain by doing the same thing over and
over and over, you just keep going out there and doing it,
you live, you say, I choose today to go in and do something
fun and live. I choose today to go and invest in my, you know,
spirit, my relationship when when you're out of hard work,
you know, whatever, but just that you're, you are
intentionally like another way is literally I want you to put
on your calendar, Karen time, time for just you to do
something fun. And I want it to stay fun. And I want it to have
a lot of fun emojis, because I want it to remind you that you
having fun and you living your life is just as important as all
the other things that are taking up your time right now.
Thanks. Does that make sense?
Does I need a reimagination of what fun is?
Okay, so let's discover it. I gave this assignment this
afternoon, I'll give this assignment to you too. So you
have two assignment now two assignments, you're going to put
some time on your calendar, you're literally going to block
it out, you're going to start planning fun. So this is how
you're going to start moving towards that. Um, I gave her
more of like a dream board. But like, I want to encourage you
doesn't have to be big, okay, anybody. And ladies, when I
coach other people, if something's speaking to you, just
take it for yourself. And you can do it too. Okay, so eight
and a half sheet of paper. And I want you just to write, you
know, Lord, what does fun look like, and then literally just
start, you know, going through magazines or go online and start
looking up pictures. And then when you see something, if you
think that looks fun, print that thing out or cut that
thing out and put it on that board because this is going to be about you like rediscovering
who you are and not just who you were have been through the counterfeit identities but
who did God create you to be like what inside of Karen like you know we play hide and seek
and it's like God's saying come out come out wherever you are you know and I'm not making
fun but like he's calling to the deep places in us and he's calling us to come out and
play and have fun and live and thrive and come out from these places of I can't I can't
do it I don't know how and just say Lord I can do it today through your grace and I'm
not saying you're always going to feel like it's just like forgiveness it's a choice sometimes
it's going to be a sacrifice of praise Karen yeah I've been thinking about that verse a
lot yeah but think about the verse but don't get stuck in the grief okay because you're
going to live now and so I want you to kind of do those things this week and I would love
if you're willing to put your thing in the group we'd love to see it okay because yeah
we can pray over you for that and I think it'll be really great we can celebrate with
you and you know your sisters can help you dream and plan all kinds of fun stuff I'm
sure of it yeah I need good ideas y'all so yeah you put that in the group and just you
can even say hey hey ladies I'm looking for ideas to go have fun and just see what your
sisters say to you as well that'd be really cool yeah I think it'd be a lot of fun yeah
awesome thanks for sharing appreciate it all right Isabel go ahead hi so I think the thing
that was coming up tonight was um so I don't know if you're familiar with like a disc personality
profile BISC yep I'm pretty much like I haven't looked at him in a long time but I'm yeah
I'm very familiar yep I'm pretty much like mostly like a D in an I and I think because
a word that was spoken over me when I was like 11 or 12 from a friend then was like
she told me that her mom and her aunt thought I was a B word female dog and I think for
many years I had carried that spirit of abandonment or rejection which I've healed from broken
free from but I feel like I've numbed out that deep personality in me to be more likable
but I know ultimately God's calming created me to have that D direct like that leader
take charge personality just for what God's called me to do as a pioneer um so with these
things kind of like just I think I've battled with the thing of like God's created me as
a leader take charge be direct but um I can be too too much for people so like for example
two years ago I surrendered all God told me to do this live in ministry program I started
work finances all these things to be all in on this program and when everybody else was
deployed lived in their own like they were all in as well but my team it was the ministry
director's daughter and niece and the ministry leader like nobody was doing it all in people
who had kids and were pregnant like so if I didn't step in and take charge and do things
things do not get done because everybody else all except for one woman that only spoke Spanish
and everybody else is just kind of doing it in their leisure and when they can't when
I was supposed to be all in so I think at the end of that I give gave all I could I
went all in and I saw and I even noticed at the beginning when I did all the grunt work
or not the grunt work like I did all this stuff to prepare for the night but then the
ministry director's kid and his cousin or niece just got to show up and do the more
desirable work I feel like that was something like I felt that injustice but I had to kind
of press it down because I couldn't really address it with him and at the end of it I
was labeled like a bully or like I offended a lot of people but it's like I again if there
was nobody else I was going to do all this like see to it that things wouldn't get done
because everybody else is just doing it part time so I think it's that past almost like
repeating that. Let me ask you a question I'm going to have you pause for a second let
me ask you a question so when is the first time that you found yourself doing something
similar to what you're saying there that other people weren't going to do it and so because
they weren't going to do it you had to do it because that's the verbiage you've been
using so when's the first time you like you recall doing that was it in that situation
or have you done that
before in your life?
I think my mother had to go to school
or work a lot in the evenings.
So I kind of had to be like
the one watching the house for her.
Did you have to watch siblings as well?
Yeah, I had to watch siblings,
you know, take care of things.
And how old were you?
Oh gosh.
Maybe middle school, maybe 11 or 12.
Okay, so that's kind of young.
All right, so I think what's happening here
is that whatever responsibility was put on you
as a younger child,
that was beyond where you were actually at,
that you're like, you're walking that out
in these kinds of scenarios
because you kept saying the same,
another phrase, all in.
They, if I heard you correctly,
because sometimes I wasn't sure
if I was hearing you all the way,
is that they weren't going all in,
but you were willing to go all in.
And so it kind of goes back
to even my boundaries thing
that I was saying earlier.
Sometimes we see,
and you all, I'm a go-getter too.
And if I'm in an organization, in a company,
and I see something's got to get done,
I tend to want to jump in too,
but here's the reality.
At some point, there's only so much of me.
Yeah.
And just what if we don't pick that thing up
and we actually let the people
that are also running those organizations
feel the weight of what happens
when it's everybody's not carrying their weight
instead of us saying,
well, I got to be the one to do it.
I got to be the one to do it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah. It's that survival mode.
Yeah. Because again, like,
and there's probably other areas,
but it sounds like,
and no, I'm not folding your mom for it.
When you have certain situations,
moms are doing the best that they can.
And sometimes the kids are put in situations
beyond their age and beyond their responsibility.
And I know that you had some things
from when you shared before
that you had to overcome health-wise as well.
And so I just think that another thing
that I heard in my spirit as you were talking
was overcompensation.
So I think what's happening,
I don't think you're doing it on purpose, Isatel.
I think that sometimes because of what you've been through,
that you're overcompensating to try to fit in
and try to show people that you care
and that you can do it.
You know, that you're the disabilities
and the things that you've struggled with,
that they do not hold you back.
And, you know, some people are interpreting
in that in incorrect ways.
I don't think that's who you are.
I don't think you're a bully,
but it's kind of like you're standing in divine masculine
is what's happening there.
Okay?
And the Lord, as you continue to heal,
you're gonna learn how to come out of that more and more.
You're gonna learn how to not take every bag upon yourself.
And I'm telling you as a fellow person, I'm serious.
If there's a bag sitting on the ground,
every new project, my husband, literally you all,
we're about to, we just merged with another church
and they're gonna be a second campus.
There's tons of work to do.
Do y'all know what already I'm having to like work on?
Okay.
That's not all of my job.
Okay?
It's something we all have to practice.
Yes, I did say that sometimes from what it sounds like,
she's standing in divine masculine.
Y'all will learn more about what divine masculine
and divine feminine are in the next phase of the program
if you continue in the program in Love Story Accelerator.
But basically the quick version tonight is that,
I'm sorry, she's not standing in divine masculine,
she's standing in the masculine.
I'm saying it kind of wrong there.
Basically she's not standing in the divine feminine,
but she's overcompensating and it's showing up
as kind of tough and kind of almost take charge manly
in a sense, because it's like,
there's just something that's different
when we're not in our divine feminine,
when we're not, like we can be massive, amazing leaders,
but inside be soft and not abrasive.
And that kind of like, okay guys, you're not doing it.
Like what's going on?
And we take charge,
in situations that we're not called to take charge in.
And if the grace is on us, you all,
people are gonna see us differently in a situation.
So for example, God's grace is on me in this movement.
God has given me a lot of favor to lead
in incredible ways in this community.
And last year single, I'm super grateful for that.
But I also understand God has given me
the grace to do it here.
Okay, so sometimes we go into situations and we're doing some of that stuff and we just God hasn't
given us the grace to do it. Okay, so we're praying for you. I'm really glad that you shared this.
You are, when they called you, I, again, I couldn't tell, but whatever bad name they called you,
that's not, that's not who you are. And that doesn't have to define you.
I want to encourage you to forgive them. So I want to encourage you to write forgiveness prayer
sheets for them. And I want to encourage you to write forgiveness, prayer sheets about this
situation and forgive anybody that hurt you in that situation. Okay. And maybe even if, and again,
I don't know if this applies to you, but maybe even you might have to do a forgiveness prayer
sheet to forgive yourself. I'm not sure, but just be open to that. Okay. Yeah, I think that kind of
helped unravel because it's just this thing. I feel like I've been working against you're like
trying to heal, work through with part of what God's created me to do, but yet in the right
feminine spirit or feminine. Yeah. Where I have the grace for that. So yeah. Thank you.
You're welcome. You're welcome. And it'll get, it'll get easier. I promise. Okay. Just keep
doing what God is showing you to do. Keep partnering with, you know you're coming out
of alignment. Remember with, um, independence. Yeah. Or thank you that you're helping me come
into alignment with interdependence on you. God, I'm depending on you to take care of these
situations and that I can, I can rest in this situation and I don't got to pick everybody
else's bags up and carry them. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Amen. You're welcome. So proud of you.
All right, Shelly, go ahead. Gail, I'm coming to you next since we didn't get you in this afternoon.
Okay. Go ahead, Shelly. Okay. Here we are. There I am. Hi. So I got to speak with you last week
and I wanted to let you know that on last Monday's call, when you had mentioned how, um,
the ocean is spinning, like on the cartoons or whatever, the little kid show.
Yeah. Um, and that you were standing in the middle on ground and that God was covering you
and protecting you. Yes. I vaguely, sometimes I say things in the spirit and I don't even remember.
So thank you for reminding me. Well, so I remembered that, but here's the thing. So on Wednesday,
I went to my Bible study and, um, at the very end, I don't know why, because this is a new Bible
group for me. I think this is my third time attending anyway. She was going to close in
prayer and she goes, um, and Shelly, I'd like to play praise for your kids. And I was like,
oh, and I'm thinking I'm sitting next to my friend and I'm thinking, okay, did I say something to
her? Did I say something about my kids? Like what's going on here? Like, where's this coming
from? So, um, this other lady asked that lady, you know, what, why, why are you bringing this
up? Like, why would you single her out? That sort of thing. Um, in a nice way, just kind of asking,
but anyway, so I don't remember what I said about my kids or whatever. Um, I'm going to fast forward
though, because it worked. That was really a heartfelt, I could go on and on about that,
but where I'm going with this is that at the very end, that same lady, she goes, um, Shelly,
it's like a hurricane. She's talking about hurricane. And I don't know what she said
about the hurricane, because after that, I'm thinking of what you said about the ocean swirling,
and so here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that God is basically saying, you know, this,
I'm in this chaotic world right now. Um, it's just going around me and with all this chaos,
God's got this and, um, he's going to protect me. He's going to see me through no matter what it
looks like, you know? Um, but it was just, it was an awesome thing because it was like confirmation,
right? Two days later. Okay. And then you won't believe this, but then today, tonight,
you know what you were saying? You're talking about pool. Oh my gosh. I didn't even think
about that. So you said, and you pick up the momentum going around, okay. Around, except on
this one, you said, um, how did you put it? Basically lean into it, create momentum, um,
and believe that God will work on your behalf. And here, I mean, it's just like all coming
together. Okay. So back to what you're really asking. I just had, I love that though. No,
I appreciate you sharing. Um, so I feel like a survivor. I don't feel like I'm a victim. Um,
I think if anything, I see people for their good, meaning that if something bad happens to me, I,
I feel like there's gotta be a reason why.
And I try not to take it personally.
I will say that at work, I have experienced some, it just seems like I'm the one that's
singled out.
Now, I don't know.
I'm also called positive Patty at work.
So I don't know if people just have, I don't know, but there's just this one individual,
I think we're both strong headed or whatever.
But I wouldn't say that, because I do feel like I've forgiven her on her behavior, how
she treats me sometimes, because when she's not in that kind of a mood, I get along great
with her.
So I almost think it's like, I don't know if it's like a demonic spirit, or I just don't
think it's her if this makes any sense whatsoever.
Who does she?
I literally, I'm not kidding you, I just wrote on my paper, who does she remind you of?
Who does this woman remind you of?
Is there anyone that you know, or have known in your life, where you're just kind of like,
Oh, and you might not even know tonight, it's okay.
I'll think about it, though.
I have a feeling that this is a familiar spirit showing up.
Do you know what a familiar spirit is?
It means that it's shown up before.
And then the enemy sends it back to try to do what is was sent for on the first time
that it didn't accomplish what it was sent to do.
Interesting.
I got goosebumps right now.
I don't know why, but I got goosebumps.
But I, a familiar spirit, you're saying that basically, they, somebody or a spirit that
tried to get to me, but that has not and so they're trying to come back.
Yeah.
So let's talk about this lady or you've struggled with at work, even though you're fine now
or you've worked through things.
How does she normally show up?
Like what is like when y'all aren't getting along?
Is she domineering?
Is she angry?
It's like what is what's going on there?
She's not angry.
She's dismissive.
If I come up with ideas, so her and I are basically the veterans, all the other accountants
in that company have left and we were like the two veterans that are left and say we've
trained others and we've got a new software system and I will say that whenever I bring
up an idea, she just dismisses it.
So I've tried to go to her first just to kind of work it through so that it looks, you know,
so I am including her, but I feel like she doesn't, she, she wants to be that one on
top.
And so she, she's dismissive.
We know that for sure.
And she really strives for going up the ladder.
Do you have a grandmother that was dismissive?
And it could have been to you or your mother.
I know.
So I have two grandmothers and the one grandmother, they're both Christians.
I'm going to say one is really was loving and they were my favorite.
Not sure if you're supposed to say that or not, but it's okay.
My other grandmother, she was a hard worker.
Hmm.
So there's a similarity.
That's one similarity.
She was a hard worker.
She was a go-getter.
She, she was never mean to me.
That's okay.
Um, I, it's all right.
We'll ask the Lord.
So I just want you to kind of be curious about this a little bit.
I didn't, it could have been even your dad's grandparents or your mom's grandparents.
So you don't have to go digging this up.
Just keep asking the Lord.
I just literally heard the Lord say, ask her about her grandmother.
So I just always trust the Lord y'all.
Even if it doesn't pan out, I'm okay with just asking and trusting him with whatever.
And then it's up to him to get to you what you need, if that is what's going on there.
And so, um, I just want to encourage you to ask, you know, and, uh, do you have a good
enough relationship with your mom to ask her how her relationship was with her mom when
she was younger?
Um, actually my mom, no, she's no longer with us.
I will say that she's had, she had a wonderful relationship with her mom and that was my
favorite grandmother.
Um, my mother was the glue in the family and that she passed in 2014, but she.
He, everybody loved her.
Anybody that came in contact with her and loved her, she, um, got
along great with her own mother.
Um, it was that it was my mom's side of the family that I
got along really well with.
They were that loving Christian family, I guess.
And so, um, my grandmother did pass that my mom's mom passed
then later, um, about nine years later.
But what's interesting is that I remember my mom talking about my dad's
and her saying she, she would not talk bad about her.
Okay.
So we got to make sure, cause my mom wouldn't talk bad about anybody.
She was just warning me.
She was just letting me know, um, just be careful what you say around
your grandmother and because of the way that she takes it.
So she may not, she may act one way in front of me, but then
act another way away from me.
But yet, like I said, my grandmother was never like mean to me.
I think that there just might be something to be discovered there.
And it might not be outright.
So, you know, a lot of times we think of dismissive as people being,
cause if someone else has been outright, like dismissive of us, we think
that's how dismissive always shows up, but dismissive shows up
in a lot of different ways.
And so again, this is just asking God some really good questions.
Let's see where this might lead.
I feel like you started talking about this tonight for a purpose.
It's, it is this woman at work, but there's other things at play here.
Uh, I really believe that.
And so whether it's your grandmother or not, we're just going to ask the Lord
and see what he shows us.
And he says, no, Hey, it's not your grandma's whatever.
That's totally fine.
Um, but I don't think it's a coincidence that your mom kind of
cautioned you about that grandma.
So let's just see what, what might come up as you seek the Lord about that.
Um, and then definitely, even though you've already forgiven that woman at work,
I would just encourage you to do a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding her.
And as you pray to forgive her, there might be even other dots
that are connected for you.
That sounds good.
I do have one more question though.
If I, I think it's very important to forgive and I don't, um, dislike anybody.
Cause like I said, I think that there's a reason for everything.
One thing I want to ask is that my uncle who's, um, which is my mom's brother.
Okay.
My mom's brother, he was a sweetheart and everything else to me, but his, his
mother, which is my mom's mother, my grandmother, the one that I absolutely
loved and adored, um, no one thought that he took good care of her and he
was out mainly for her money.
Okay.
And me and my brother ended up getting my mom's portion.
He didn't, he didn't like that at all.
Here's where I'm going with this is that I forgive him for the way that he was
towards my grandmother and that whole thing during her last days, but yet I
don't want to have really anything to do with him, meaning he has called me.
Um, but he has not left messages.
He's not texted me.
And my thoughts are, is that he's, um, if he really needed something, he would text
it to me, but I have a feeling he's wanting, he's wanting money from me.
Now, with that being said, here's where I'm going with the forgiveness.
Even though I have forgiven him, I feel like I don't want to necessarily
associate with him unless he.
It's like a demonic deal, meaning that he used to do everything for me, love me.
And when, um, it was my birthday, he'd make me cheesecakes, you know, but
now it's a different thing.
He's like, it's switched gears.
It's like, it's got, something's got a hold of him.
Well, so, okay.
So this is important while you're talking about you all, it's really
important for all of you to know, just because you forgive someone doesn't
mean you have to like do life with them.
Now, I do want to encourage all of you to be praying about this though.
What is the Lord saying to you?
So, you know, Shelly, if the Lord is saying to you, it's okay for you to have
these safe boundaries, you know, because of where he's at, you know, it sounds
like maybe he's just living into some unhealthy places and spaces right now.
Um, so that's probably God's wisdom showing you to have, you know, space
and not to be around him and associate with him a lot right now.
Um, but for some of you others, you know, as you're praying about these
things, sometimes we just push people away just because it was, you know, it
was hurtful and it is sometimes in a sense, easier to just push them away.
But that might not be what God is asking you to do.
Okay.
Now, if they're super toxic and as someone that you've dated before and
y'all, that thing has never changed.
You don't need to get back into that.
Okay.
I'm talking more about family, friends right now, you know, people that maybe
we'd need to forgive and see if God wants to bring reconciliation, but the
key and reconciliation.
Is both people have to be ready and able and willing to reconcile? Okay. All right
I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't like deceiving myself because even okay. No, you're not
I think it's wisdom from what you're sharing. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing Gail. Go ahead
Thank you, I just want to tell you Bethany that you were a hundred percent correct on the afternoon call
I
Knew something was going to happen with connection ahead of time. I actually prayed before I got on
I
Am part of the counseling ministry in my church and I lead a 29 week
Healing course for
women
And that's true, you know, that's internationally actually
and I also I was headed out afterwards to
lead a the women's
Christian 12-step program, so I'm being general. Okay, so I've been in the fire
Especially this time of year before I start the
Healing from trauma classes in September, I always have a
lot of
the enemies
disruptions, so you were I
You you knew I had a time and that's what happened. I don't know. I my internet just froze
So I had two quick questions and then actually I think maybe even God used this for good
Because it's something more serious came up since then but I wanted to ask you you were talking about the tethering and unforgiveness
Is that the same as many people call a soul tie?
It kind of works similar yep, and so, you know, we have to break the soul ties
That's why we lead you all through that here in the heart work as well
But genuinely like, you know, we're bound to the the people and the things that we don't forgive and so
it's it's
It's kind of like just like it's tied to them
So yeah, so that's where I think the soul ties comes into play there as well and soul ties isn't just sex
Sexual related a lot of churches and you know
People think that's all it really is and that's how all they really talk about but it's so much more than that
You know people can have soul ties with pets. They can have soul ties with you know, people that have passed on
I mean, it's just it's really mind-blowing
As you all start to listen to that session the different ways that we can be connected to people in situations in our souls. Yeah
Okay, and then the second question which I was trying to ask is I've gone many many times through different
forgiveness
Things I I do believe you have to
Go detailed each person. Yeah
Detailed but not to the extent and I was gonna ask you
for example, my second husband
Lied to me
Weekly and we were almost married about 10 years. I said husband but ex-husband. I'm just trying to get used to that
But
So
I can't really remember every lie. So I can't list them and I actually I
Actually made the choice to forgive him and pray and I do pray for him blessings on him now
And our divorce was finalized the end of last month
So but it was a long time and working through the courts
So my question was
if I mean that would like be
300 sheets of paper for every single lie and that's just talking about the line. So I didn't know what extent you yeah
you don't have to necessarily label every single lie ever told to you, but you can let's
As you all are doing the forgiveness prayer sheets. I think what's really key here is asking the Lord
what do I need to forgive them for and
And
Then following what the Holy Spirit is showing you and writing that on your paper
The biggest thing is that some people are very general though
Okay, so they might just say, you know, and I'm not saying it's not enough to just I forgive him for lying to me
but if there was a time where
Even though he lied a lot in 10 years
If there was a time that was more hurtful,
that felt like it broke you more,
maybe the first time,
maybe there was a bigger situation that was unveiled.
I don't know. But I would encourage you to
really write that one out on the forgiveness prayer sheet.
I think that is where you start.
Because I think the key here too is that
when someone lies that many times for that many years,
we become callous and numb.
Even though it still hurts us,
we become walled off to that.
It's just like this is the normal behavior.
But where did it start?
How did you feel when the first time he lied?
Trying to remember back then and
allowing Gail all those years ago to be healed,
and then whatever else the Lord shows you along the way.
If there were other,
dare I say, significant lies.
They're all significant.
So I'm not trying to say that they don't all matter.
But you don't have to list out everyone.
But I do think that as you pray,
God's going to show you specific times that you need to forgive him for
lying or any other things that came up that were hurtful in the marriage.
Okay. So I guess the biggie here that came up after,
and I think that's what the interruption was for,
is this session when we did breakout,
I realized that I was needing to forgive myself.
I have forgiven myself for a lot of things.
But basically, and I'm just going to tell you this quickly,
I was married for 40 years, four zero years,
and I know narcissistic qualities, but overtly.
Severe abuse.
Living in a barn in the middle of winter up in upstate New York, I was forced to.
So severe abuse by my first husband.
It took the counselor eight years to get me to divorce him.
I immediately rebounded into a second marriage with a covert narcissistic type person.
It's not even funny.
So I'm 72 years old.
I guess my biggest drawback to forgive myself is it wasn't until 2023.
So this was two years ago that I realized.
Now, I've been leading these classes I talked to you about since 2017.
And it wasn't to talk about coming off of layers like an onion.
But I realized I was like a big time codependent enabler.
And that was a label I was given.
I mean, I'm surviving, you know, a survivor of codependency.
But I, and it all came and I'm just going to tell you, it came from mother issues.
Emotionally unavailable.
I basically married my mother twice.
So I have separation anxiety.
Attachment, not attachment, but anxious attachment.
Okay, and so my question is to you, I had a, and this is, and I don't know if I should.
Jackie, in her testimony, several times mentioned being in what I call agoraphobic.
Okay.
I have never met anyone that has been, but I spent 15 years in my first marriage in a
state of agoraphobia where I was homebound.
Okay.
And so I am really feeling like what I'm dealing with now is regrets or shame of wasting most
of my adult life.
Yeah.
So I guess that's what I'm, my question, what's your, what was your question?
I don't know if I understood the question.
How do I reconcile with myself the fact that I allowed myself, even though I didn't know
what I didn't know, basically, didn't know about red flags, didn't know about codependency
until two years ago.
So are you saying, how do you forgive yourself?
Yes.
How do I, and how do I get over?
Still have remnants.
Y'all see how I snuck that in there?
Does anyone, did anyone catch what I just did right there?
What?
This isn't just you reconciling with yourself,
it's you forgiving yourself.
Right.
That's what I mentioned in the small group.
I need to forgive myself for wasted years,
what I think are wasted.
Yeah, and here's the thing, ladies,
and I know this is hard for us to really fully grasp,
and just for those that, you know,
we normally end around an hour and a half.
If you need to hop off,
I just always want to release people,
just so that you know it's totally fine if you can't stay.
But I am gonna finish with Gail,
and then I'm gonna go to Renee.
Joy, since you shared this afternoon,
are you okay if I just finish with Renee
and then close this out for the night?
I didn't know if you had something different.
Put that in the chat for me so I know.
So Gail, on this, really important.
God can give us back years that we,
wasted, okay?
Now, we might not get younger in the physical,
but what can happen is that God can literally heal us
and make it as if, like, we are younger in our spirit,
we're younger in the way that we, you know,
are showing up in the world, not like immature,
but just that there's a new joy,
there's a newfound, you know, adventure.
And the reality is, is that, you know,
you didn't know what you didn't know.
You can't change that.
All you can do is live forward
and begin to lean into what God has for you today.
And I know that might not always be the easiest thing
for people to hear, but like, you can't go backwards.
So it's just, you forgive yourself
and allow God to heal you and change your future.
Your latter years can be greater than your former years.
And I wanted to say as well,
just because this is really important,
I mentioned this in the afternoon,
and you were totally fine in how you describe things
and all that when I say this,
but in this community,
I just wanna make sure everybody knows.
So we are very careful about not labeling people, okay?
So she did a great job navigating that,
but people are diagnosed with stuff.
I know that people struggle with narcissistic tendencies.
They live this stuff out, okay?
But the reality is people that are living that out
are fragmented, broken, very unhealed people.
I mean, that's the truth, okay?
And so I wanna encourage you, even when you said, okay,
you struggle or have struggled with codependency,
you're not a codependent.
Right, right.
Okay, so I just wanna make sure everybody hears that tonight
that even when you're given a diagnosis,
yes, listen to the wisdom
that you're learning through those people,
but you do not need a label
that is going to define who you are the rest of your life.
Now, listen to medical advice, okay?
If you have mental health struggles,
follow the doctor's advice, listen to what they're saying.
But what I'm telling you is that God can heal you
from the inside out and change who you used to be
into who you are now becoming in the days ahead.
So for myself, I struggled with codependency in the past.
I used to struggle with a deep spirit of fear,
but I have overcome those things and not only overcome them,
but I am thriving and now able to teach people
how to overcome that stuff and thrive as well.
And so just as we're talking about people in situations,
I've made mistakes in my life, 100%,
and I would not want someone to label me by that mistake.
And so I wanna offer the same grace to other people
that I have received.
And so we talk about the situations that we've been through,
but remember ladies, we're not gonna say he's a narcissist,
they're this, he's a cheater.
Okay, they cheated, but we're not gonna label them
and define them by their actions.
That doesn't mean you have to go back
into relationship with them, okay?
But we are gonna separate our actions from identity
and we're gonna do the same for other people too, okay?
Everyone understand?
All right, so I wanna encourage you to go ahead
and I think the forgiveness prayer sheet is for you.
I think first and foremost, forgiving yourself
and letting go of the shame and the regret
and allowing God to rewrite your story in the days to come.
And then if God's not there,
leads you, you know, to do forgiveness prayer sheet for
your ex, I would encourage you to do that as well. And just
lean into again, what what was highlighted, even as I was, you
know, talking about when was the when was the first time he lied
to you? When was the first time it broke your heart, and start
there and then see what else is unveiled. Okay. All right.
Awesome. Thank you for sharing and trusting us. Appreciate
that. Renee, go ahead.
Yes. So when we were in the groups, the small group, we were
talking about who we need to forgive. And it kind of goes
back a couple weeks ago when you were talking about the lies that
we believe. And one of them was kind of they didn't choose me,
like I'm not worth being chosen. And when I was in this, the
small group session for that, we were talking about it. And I
mentioned a guy that I have been dating. And he didn't, I felt
like he didn't choose me. And there was a lot of opportunities
for him to choose me. And as I was talking about it, I just
started tearing up and I had done a forgiveness sheet on him.
And then now it plays into the layers. I had done a forgiveness
sheet. And then I as I was talking, I said to the
individual, I said, Man, I don't think I've I'm done with this,
because I immediately started tearing up as we were talking
about him. And so basically, it was a guy I was dating, and I
hadn't dated in a while. And he was in Florida, we were both in
Florida, and and we had been dating like a few months, and he
wouldn't get serious or anything. And eventually he told me he
wanted to move away to the DC area. So he did that. He was
like, you know, I don't want a long distance, whatever. And
eventually, I moved to DC for a job opportunity, like a year or
so later. And there was another opportunity for us to, you know,
hey, I'm here. And for the four years that I was there, we never
saw each other. We talked on the phone. But we never saw each
other that time. And for some reason, we talked like two times
a year now. And this is years ago, this is like 2008. And this
thing is still with me. But we talked, we called each other for
our birthdays. And one of those times, he said that I was going
to be like the cat lady with no husband. And I don't even know
what we're talking about, because we don't get serious
about too serious about stuff. But a lot of things started
coming out in these years, as we're talking to each other lies
that he has said to things, just all this came out. But
the cat lady, like I'll never have anybody. So not only did
you not choose me, but now you're telling me nobody's going
to choose me. And it's not just him. I felt this. There are
several key points in my past where I felt like my mom didn't
choose me. I felt like my father didn't choose me. And then the
men in my life don't choose me, and can kind of them
compartmentalize the men and throw it aside. But that
fundamental belief that lie has taken root. And I was like,
Okay, I need to do the forgiveness sheet again for the
guy. But maybe there's more to it.
Well, did you do a forgiveness prayer sheet for him saying to
like saying that you would be like a cat lady? Did you
actually do one for that in particular? No. Okay, that needs
to go on there 100%. A couple things I sometimes I jump in
ladies because I just I have stuff that starts coming up and
I don't want to forget it. And as soon as you started talking
about that, I'm I was coaching several months ago, another
woman in the community, and it wasn't the same thing. But I'm
saying it out loud. Because as soon as you said that this came
up in my spirit, so it could be for you, it could be for someone
else. But some guy, same kind of situation, you know, this guy
that would never really choose her, but they would, you know,
kind of spend time together. They were friends. But you know,
no real commitment there ever no pursuit, said to her, you're
gonna you're like an old maid. And he spoke that over her. And
he basically said that she would never get married. Very similar
kind of to what this guy has said to you. I don't know if you
all remember the old game old maid, but it's not a it's not a
good thing that someone said that to her. And so I'm
automatically I want to encourage you to come out of
agreement with, you know, whether you realize it or not,
because that hurt you, you may have now been the word that
comes to mind is room ruminating. I think that's how
you say it.
You know, sometimes we think on things so many times that it actually becomes a part
of our actual thoughts about ourselves.
And so I want to encourage you to come out of agreement and alignment with that lie that
was spoken over you.
That is not truth.
And I'm going to encourage you to cut ties with this guy.
Why are you giving him space?
Why are you giving him any aspect of your heart?
There's been no pursuit.
You are worth it for some man to choose you and to treat you well.
Some guy says that to me, get out of here.
Maybe not back in the past, but I'm telling you now, I would not have allowed that for
one second because I'm worth more than that.
And so are you.
And so while y'all have been friends for now, I'm just telling you my best advice and coaching
regarding this guy.
It'll be up to you to choose it.
Okay.
I don't want you to feel forced, but what I have found from, you know, being in this
community is that women, um, it's years probably isn't as intense, but it's like a situationship.
You know, this guy comes to you when, when he wants to talk to you or you guys catch
up on birthdays or whatever.
And it's taking up space in your life, whether you realize it or not, and your heart, because
you're still dealing with the fact that he never chose you too.
And so when that's taking up space, guess what?
That that's space that you can't even give to someone else.
Okay.
So there's those two things.
You also said, mom didn't choose me.
Dad didn't choose me and men in my life.
Don't choose me.
So there's a generalizing statement now happening.
Okay.
So I want to encourage you to forgive men in general, your dad can be included in that,
but here's, here's the other thing.
I think this is going to be really powerful when you were talking about, you know, the,
all these people that haven't chose you.
I saw literally a picture of you and you, you writing over your picture, the word chosen.
Because today is the day that you need to start believing and aligning with, I am chosen.
First and foremost, you're chosen by God.
You are his daughter.
You are his beloved.
You're his princess.
Like literally he cared, like cares about you so much and he chooses you over and over
and over again, whether you realize it or not, he does.
But in the midst of that, you're going to start choosing yourself.
And people are going to start choosing you, but the switch, we kind of talked about this
last night on the prophetic ministry night.
We have to switch and, and shift in our spirit and believe it in our soul and our spirit
before we can believe it in the physical realm, before it can even show up differently in
the physical realm.
And so I want you to start to literally, I want you like, this is your homework assignment.
In addition to the forgiveness prayer sheets, I want you to find a picture of yourself and
print it out.
And I want you to write over it chosen or above it, however you want to do it.
It doesn't have to be over your face or anything like that.
And I want you to hang it up and maybe even like ask the Lord for a scripture that aligns
with God choosing you.
Okay.
That you can put on there and remind yourself every day that you are chosen, that even when
other people didn't choose you in the physical realm, God was always choosing you.
Always.
And I believe you are going to experience different things in the future, but I think
as you keep going, you're going to have to forgive mom and dad as well, but I want to,
I don't want to overload you.
I want, let's start with this guy in that situation.
And, um, the assignment of really, you know, choosing yourself and loving yourself and
partnering with, I am his daughter.
I am God's daughter.
I have chosen.
He's working on my behalf right now.
He's going to lead me to people that are healthy and, and want relationship.
And that I, um, Psalm 68, six says that God places the solitary in family.
So if you have felt lonely, God is saying over you tonight, your destiny is family.
And y'all what that means.
It means that family isn't always biological.
And I know it's not that it, it takes away the void that we feel when we don't have.
family that was there for us the way that you know I believe for all of us
God intended it but what it does mean is that God says hey daughter I'm about to
pick you up and place you over in this community called last year single and
I'm about to help you know what it feels like to be loved on and be in family and
for people to cheer you on and literally intercede for your victory and all of
the things and he'll give you more community too but I just use that as an
example because God's doing something new in your life and it's you know this
is just the beginning but that guy pray about that okay pray about that again my
strong recommendation is to close that door you will you pray about it and do
what you feel led to do okay thank you you're welcome we love you ladies I am
gonna go ahead and close down tonight joy will you put your other thing that
you were gonna share in the group in the community group so that I can respond to
it there oh just quick well I just really need to close down because I've
I keep going so late okay so if I hadn't coached you this afternoon I totally would
but let's go ahead and put that in the chat in the group chat for us um and I'll respond
to you there sweetheart okay all right let me pray first father thank you so much for
everything that you're doing God we thank you for continuing to just come and shine
your light into every dark place we thank you for just helping us to continue to yes
lord to take the holy spirit by the hand and remember that he's walking with us every
step of the way that he is guiding us he's counseling us he's loving us he's helping
us to hear what your spirit is what the spirit is saying to us we thank you lord that that
we can walk in all truth we thank you that you would just continue to give us an upgrade
in the revelation of who you are father that you're a good father who gives good gifts to
your daughters yes lord you're not coming with big heavy things of punishment waiting to pour
that on us God we thank you for grace we thank you for the truth that you're kind that you're
faithful and that you you come through you your promises are yes and amen and you are faithful
to finish and fulfill those promises that are that have been made to us God and that you're
continuing to work in our lives even right now so lord even while these ladies sleep
i pray that you would just do heart surgery God do a supernatural work in them that they would
wake up even some of them tomorrow and feel completely different we just thank you that
you are um yes lord yes lord that you're literally sewing even right now in the spirit realm you're
sewing hearts and you're you're just bringing healing and restoration and the depths and the
core center parts of their heart we just thank you in advance for that in Jesus name amen amen amen
God bless you all I'll see you in the group have a good night everyone bye