WEBVTT

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Hello. Good evening, everyone. It's so great to be here tonight. Hopefully y'all have been

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enjoying your labor day to some degree and taking a break in the middle of the day or

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something to have that Sabbath and rest and all the things that God wants to give you.

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I want to say welcome to all of our new ladies. If you're joining us for the first time, if

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you've never been here for a live session before, excuse me, go ahead and put that in

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the chat for us so that we know to welcome you and just celebrate you as you're taking

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this initial step to come here into the community and begin this amazing journey with us. Welcome

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back for everyone else that's been here before. We're so glad to have you joining us again.

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Jennifer, welcome. Anyone else? Kalandra was here this afternoon. That's right. Hi, welcome

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back. Sarah B, first time for you. Anyone else? Anyone else joining for your first time?

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Imelda? So welcome, ladies. If there's others, go ahead and you can put those in the chat.

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I'll welcome you as we go. For all my other ladies, as I was saying, welcome back. We're

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so glad that you continue to invest in the best investment and that is yourself. Our

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heart, our heart healing is one of the most powerful things that can transform and change

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our lives because the more that we heal, the more we receive the truth of what heaven

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is saying over us to us through the word of God, timeless truths that we can study, but

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also the real time word that God has for us. If you weren't joining us last night, I have

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a couple of housekeeping tips. It's totally fine. Y'all ladies just want you to know the

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main thing that we want you to work on is the heart work. OK, so heart work videos,

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heart work, heart work, book reading, journaling, and then typically we would do Supernatural

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Saturday every Saturday this during the month of September. If you have not heard, we're

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going to actually be doing just consistent Monday through Sunday prayer. And so that

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is something that God is putting on Jackie's heart, our heart as a community. I'm going

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to be really leaning into just the importance of prayer and the transformative work that

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it's already done in our movement. Y'all, there's people now that are married because

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of the prayers that we've been praying for years. And so I want you to think about that

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when you show up, if you're able to join us ever on a prayer call. And if you can't join

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us live on a prayer call, I want to encourage you to take even if it's 15 minutes, one day

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a week to just pray for the movement, to pray for God's blessing and his hand upon the leaders

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and all of those that are here walking out this amazing journey of heart healing or those

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that are beyond you praying and trying to meet their spirit mates and all of the things

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your prayers make a difference. Okay. So we're seeing God do some stuff. We're getting ready

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to celebrate our fifth year anniversary. And that is amazing. And so thankful for all that

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God has done. The Supernatural Saturday from this last Saturday is under the replay tab.

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If you want to look at that, it is about Sabbath and intentional rest. And I want to encourage

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you all, this is really important. Even while you're in the heart work, as you're taking

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steps forward and you're healing to take the pauses to spend time with the Lord to rest

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and really allow your body to be rejuvenated and revived through the power of the Holy

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Spirit. So you'll see the prayer times in your event calendar ladies. So for those of

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you that are joining new, I want to encourage you to go in the app, make sure that you swipe

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all the way because there's additional tabs there. The events calendar will list your

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days and times. The one thing I did say this afternoon, and I want to make sure you all

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know to do this because there were some people that were saying they were there on the prophetic

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ministry night last night and no one was there, but we were definitely there. So what's happened

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is some of you all might need to change your time zone. So when you open the event calendar,

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okay, when you're in the app, make sure that it's set to your time zone. Okay. All of our

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meetings are our events typically on Sunday evenings, prayer, or the prophetic ministry

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night is 8 p.m. Eastern standard time. Okay. But make sure that that's set to your time

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zone correctly. And that way you won't show up when it's already over before it starts

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or all the things. Okay. All right. A couple other housekeeping things for those of you

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that are new would love to have you do an introduction post in the group. Tell us a

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little bit about yourself and then choose a photo that you love or that you think represents

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you really well and include that with that post. This is a part of you practicing being seen known

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and loved not only in life in general, but in this community. And I want to encourage you all.

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to not be someone that just kind of hangs out and like you're doing the hard work but you're

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not really engaging with the community. God brought you here for everything that this community offers

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and one of the things that is a game changer for us is the hard work but it's also community.

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Our community has been amazing, people have made incredible friendships and so I want to encourage

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you to show up and participate. Be here on the lives, you know, do posts, do the activations.

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It is going to change your life as you lean into that. All right and let's see what else did I want

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to say to you all. Oh I was just going to let you all know just because I think some people maybe

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didn't hear this last week and I just want to make sure everyone knows. So we don't share any outside

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content into our last year single group. So what does that mean? It means social media posts,

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content, devotionals from outside individuals, businesses, or ministries. We don't allow

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that to be shared into our groups so if any of you ever put a post in like that you're not in

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trouble or anything but we will delete the post. That's just a guardrail and a guideline we have

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set up in our community. Our team just doesn't have time to vet that stuff all out and listen

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to it even though you know sometimes you all might say man my pastor's sermon was amazing or

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I heard this sermon or this video and it really blessed me. Even on relationships people will

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sometimes post that but the reality is sometimes some of the stuff that those people are saying

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aren't actually in alignment with what we're teaching in this community even regarding heart

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healing. And so again if any of your posts got deleted that is why. We love you. We don't want

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to delete them but that's just again a boundary that we have set. So this is what I encourage

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them to do this afternoon. Instead of sharing a link to that sermon or a devotional or any of

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those things I want to encourage you just to generalize it. I heard an amazing sermon this

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weekend and this is what God was saying to me through it. I read an incredible devotional

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this morning. You don't need to name the devotional. You don't need to name who it's by.

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All you need to say is this is what God is saying to me through it okay and that will

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translate through amazingly okay. So everyone on board with that? Everyone okay? All right awesome.

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Let me pray for us and we're going to jump into our content tonight. Father thank you so much for

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everything that you're doing. God thank you for helping us to hear what your spirit is saying to

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us. We thank you for revealings for healing that have already taken place in our lives as well as

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those that will take place tonight. God we thank you that you've led us here. You brought us here

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for such a time as this. Help us to lean into your heart, to lean into your spirit. God that we would

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hear your voice louder than any voice of the enemy. We thank you that you would remove blind spots and

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filters tonight. God that you would help us as your daughters to receive a fresh

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impartation of your love, of your peace. God of the fullness of the spirit so that we can be empowered

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to walk in forgiveness, to walk in kindness, to walk in gentleness towards other people.

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We thank you God that you have forgiven us so we can forgive others. We thank you that you'll help

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us to have the courage to step into that tonight and we just believe it and we we thank you Holy

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Spirit even for being here among us. Just weaving in and out of the conversations and the coaching

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and just ministering to every one of these ladies that are here tonight as well as those that will

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and watch the replay to receive everything that you have for them in Jesus name. Amen.

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All right y'all so we're walking into forgiveness tonight. That's what we're going to be talking

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about. I'm so glad that we are here tonight. I do believe that we are here for such a time as this.

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I'm always very like God thank you so much for all the people that are here right now tonight

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together. Same thing this afternoon. Y'all there's never going to be the exact same people

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every single time at every session you're at. It's kind of miraculous and wonderful if you

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think about it. Oh yes Sarah V you can put that that intro there in the chat too but yeah put

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that in the last year single app group in the community tab. All right thanks for doing that.

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And so tonight as we start to go into the forgiveness topic I want to go ahead and

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you all real quick and what does that mean? That means I'm just going to ask you to do something

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and what I would encourage you to participate. So this is my activation for you. Would love to have

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you all share briefly okay in the chat so it doesn't need to be super long y'all. What is

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something that you have been forgiven for or of? What's something that God has forgiven you for,

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forgiven you of? Go ahead and put that in the chat for me. Let's activate. Okay so yes sin.

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Let's get a little bit more specific.

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ladies. Okay. So I love that. Crystal, thanks for starting us off. What is something God

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has forgiven you for? It could be your whole life. It could be any time. Okay. So Erica

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said something that I've been forgiven for is lying and sexual immorality. Awesome. Disrespect

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toward my mother, Sarah V. I might not be able to keep up with names because now we're

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starting to move for being critical towards myself, putting foot in my mouth, flashing

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out at people close to me, bring, uh, being sarcastic and critical towards people pass

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wrong, financial decisions, past addiction and reliance on sugar, religious effort, temptation,

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lust, not being a good suit over money, hurting people, believing God plays favorites, doubting

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God's faithfulness, gossiping about others, being judgmental. Okay. Go ahead and continue.

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Put those up there. I'm going to go ahead and start to move on. The reason I'm having

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you all do this is to prepare your hearts because it's always really important for us

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to think about what we've been forgiven of. And a lot of times what I have found is that

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is what can empower us to forgive others. Even if we think they don't deserve forgiveness,

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because what's the reality. The reality is we, myself included, didn't deserve forgiveness,

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but by God's grace, through what Jesus came and did, he died so that we could be forgiven

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and to make a way for us to be one with Jesus as he is one with the father. He literally

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made a way for us to be in relationship and be a part of the kingdom family and to never

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be alone. Y'all it's incredible just to think about it. So Martin Luther King has this quote

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and I love this and I started using this a couple months ago and I think it's very, very

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important for us to also think about this as we're preparing our hearts and thinking

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about the people that have harmed us in some way. It says this, we must develop and maintain

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the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power

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to love. Why don't you think about that? No shame, guilt or condemnation, but if you have

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ever said at any time in your life, I cannot forgive this person, I would love for you

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to raise your digital hand. If you don't know how to do that, I'm going to teach you right now.

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If you hover over the bottom of your screen or even just tap on your screen on your phone,

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there should be a little raise hand thing there or if you don't see it there, you might have to

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click more or you might see reactions. Everybody's screen kind of shows up different. So have you ever

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said, I cannot forgive this person or it's too hard to forgive this person or just I don't want

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to forgive this person. Hey, let's go there too. I have before, long time ago, but when I was in the depths

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of my pain years ago and I didn't see any way out of the problem, there was a part of me and again,

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this is years ago. This is before I even really knew Jesus and then even after I knew Jesus,

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I was still a baby Christian learning how to walk things out and man, I wanted vengeance. I did.

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I wanted vengeance. I wanted those people to pay for the harm they had done, but God is so good

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that he gets a hold of our hearts, you all. He loves us and he loves us and he continues to woo

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us and draw us into his presence and lead us and guide us and direct us and he loves us so much

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that he doesn't want us to stay where we are. Okay, not just where we were, even tonight,

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no matter what, like, you know, no matter what, I want you to understand that every single time

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you come into the place where you're, you're leaning into transformation, you're about to

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get an upgrade. Do you believe it? Do you receive that God wants to change your heart and your life

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tonight? All right, so on that note, forgiveness along with repentance and confession, those three

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things are major reasons how we can not only, like, have everything God has for us, but they are

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things that empower us to be able to partner with our authentic identity. When we talk about

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authentic identity or your God's original plan, the fullness of God's promises for you,

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y'all, what we're talking about there is when you were created long before sin or trauma or anything

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else ever entered your worlds, when God just dreamed you up and he planned all this stuff,

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that is your authentic identity. Some of you, when you were born, you feel like you've been

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kind of, like, run-

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and for your life, your whole life. And I want to encourage you, like, maybe you don't really

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know what it was like to have any kind of bliss or happiness. And God understands that. But see,

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He knows. He knows who He originally created you to be. And so just like myself, every day,

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He can lead us a little bit further, closer to that original design, closer to that authentic

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identity, a place where we're so rooted and grounded in His love and secure in our identity

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in Christ that we can truly have divine peace on the inside. Y'all, we show up differently.

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I genuinely can tell you that my life is drastically different than it was four years

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ago when I started in this community. And you all, I, like, love the Lord. I serve God all

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the time. I studied the Bible all the time. I had gone to counselors. I had done other programs.

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But I'm telling you, God did something so transformative in me while I was in the

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heart work, which is what you all are doing, that it radically, it started this whole paradigm

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shift in my life. And as I've continued to not only work it, but coach it and lead it and pray

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into it, God has just continued to just show me little by little by little all the time.

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Like, what does heaven sound like? What do I sound like? Do I align with heaven?

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Lord, help me to hear what your spirit is saying. Not my will, but your will.

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And He leads us from glory to glory. So as we're talking about forgiveness, I want you to think

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about this truth as well. Unforgiveness, so the opposite of forgiving, creates tethers. I want

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you to think about, like, things that are bound together, okay? So if these are tethers, they're

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tethering together. So when we don't forgive people, we are literally tied to them and the

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situation. So those people that you might not be so fond of, that you were saying maybe you didn't

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want to forgive, or maybe it was too hard to forgive, or whatever the statements may have been,

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do you want to stay like this with them? I didn't. When I really grasped the understanding that I

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literally would be tethered to those people and those situations, that for me, I was like, okay,

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I'm in. Let's do this forgiveness thing. And I didn't want to have that tether and that tied

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down thing in my life. And so I also use this little bit of a lighthearted example.

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When I was in elementary school, we had a game called Tetherball. I don't know if y'all have

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ever heard of it. In different countries, they may not. I'm not sure. But it's literally a pole

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with a rope and then a ball on the end of it. And the teachers would come out and they would clip

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that rope onto there. And then the kids would sit there and like punch this ball back around and,

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you know, just have fun hitting this ball. The reason I'm using that as an example is that rope

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and that ball would stay on the pole until the teacher or whoever would come and take it down

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and remove it. Well, Jesus Christ came. He died for you. His blood was shed for you to be set

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free from all brokenness, sin, shame, all of that. But the reality is, is we have to

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apply the blood of Jesus Christ that was already shed for us to the situations in our lives so that

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we can walk into freedom, including unforgiveness. So one of the ways we can do that is to choose to

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step into forgiveness because in the same way that unforgiveness ties us, well, forgiveness,

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literally, it's going to start to break, break, break, break that stuff apart.

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It's going to literally set you free as well as other people free.

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I have another example for you. I'm going to give you a couple different examples. It always

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helps people kind of relate to things and understand the content of what we're talking

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about. So I love the sun, I almost said sunflowers. I got sunflowers on my mind, y'all.

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Sunglasses example. So a couple years ago when we first moved to Florida, y'all, I say and do

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some silly stuff sometimes. A couple of the ladies were chuckling with me this afternoon.

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So we were here in Florida and we went to this beach and I was just looking out to the left

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and I was looking at these clouds and they just looked so amazing and they were like peach. And

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so I said to my husband, I was like, babe, look at those, look at those amazing peach clouds over

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there. And he was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, over there. And I'm like

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pointing. I'm like, don't you see them? They're like right there. And he's like, there's not any

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peach clouds over there. It's all white. And I was like, what? And then it dawned on me.

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I had my sunglasses on. So the example I'm giving you, that was kind of a playful thing,

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but I was seeing something there that we

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wasn't even there because my sunglasses created this filter

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that I was now seeing everything through.

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Victoria's doing sunflowers.

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Y'all, I love sunflowers, that made my night.

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All right, and so I want you to be thinking

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about unforgiveness in the sense of sunglasses

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that have these filters,

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not just the kind that you can see through,

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but you see different colors.

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And when you're looking around,

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something might look darker or whatever.

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Everything that is unforgiveness in us,

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it causes us to see the people around us differently.

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It causes us to see ourselves differently.

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And so when you're walking through life,

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you might think you're showing up as your true self

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and just being, hey, I'm just being me.

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And people aren't, they're not loving me.

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They're not embracing me.

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They're not, you know, wanting to be my friend, whatever.

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And let's go romantic.

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I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,

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and it's not working.

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And they're, you know, doing all these things.

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Well, guess what?

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You may not actually be showing up as your true self

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because if you've got a lot of unforgiveness,

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here's the reality.

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You're showing up with all kinds of walls, filters.

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You got all kinds of blockages going on.

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So tonight, as I'm talking to you about forgiveness,

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I wanna encourage you to choose forgiveness

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because it's gonna help remove some of those filters

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and things that you've been seeing yourself

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and other people through.

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And so it also impacts our,

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the unforgiveness also impacts our ability to receive love

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from other people, as well as from God.

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Some of y'all have been having a disconnection

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in your relationship with God.

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And a lot of that has to do with the unforgiveness,

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bitterness, resentment that we have in our hearts.

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Do you know that bitter roots

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actually can stop the flow of the Holy Spirit?

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It's true.

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The Bible talks about it.

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So we want, and how do we get bitter roots?

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Does anyone know that answer?

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Well, it comes from being sad and frustrated.

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And then that turns into like, we don't forgive,

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we don't forgive, that's turning into resentment.

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And then resentment continues to brew in there.

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And then before we know it,

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it starts to turn into bitterness.

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And it talks about the root,

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we've got to get that bitter canker root out of there.

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I think somebody might be unmuted.

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So just make sure y'all are on mute.

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Let me catch Eloise there.

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All right.

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And so be thinking about that

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as you're trying to connect with the Lord,

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that sometimes He's always there, y'all.

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He's not like pulling away from you.

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But sometimes when that break is there,

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yeah, sorry about that.

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Sometimes when that break is there,

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it's because we have moved.

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It's because we have chosen to not forgive someone

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and embrace what God has for us.

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All right, I'm gonna read something really quickly to you

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from the HeartWork book.

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This is in chapter six.

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For those of you that are brand new,

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you don't have to skip ahead to chapter six.

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The way I coach is I just pull from different weeks,

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no matter what weeks you all are on,

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because we have people that come into this program

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every day, y'all.

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Back in the day, we had everybody start at one time

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and we all went through all together,

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but we kinda pick and choose every week as I come in.

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And so just come in with your hearts ready,

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no matter what the live session,

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you're gonna receive what you need, okay?

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All right, so this is from chapter six

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if you do wanna look it up later.

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And this is what it says, blind spots and filters.

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This happens so often to all of us in life.

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We can't see that bomb was already there inside of us

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waiting for a trigger.

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When you walk into any situation,

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it doesn't matter what it is, bad or good,

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you don't see that thing, that place, those people,

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the way that they are,

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you see them the way that you are on the inside.

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So think about that, I'm gonna say it again to you.

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We don't see things the way that they truly are,

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we see them the way that we are.

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So again, remember the filters?

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What are the filters that you're looking at everything

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through and hearing things through?

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We need God to cleanse our ears, to cleanse our eyes,

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to cleanse our heart.

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For instance, say you were severely hurt

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by a group of people, they mistreated you,

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lied about you and then discarded you.

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The heart wounds and lies that were created

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as a result of that trauma will give you a skewed perception

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of groups in the future.

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You may avoid groups or communities of people

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like the plague, convincing yourself that they are all bad.

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Or you might try again to search for community,

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but if you do decide to join a similar group in the future,

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your most significant obstacle to belonging

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will be the filter that was created

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by that prior experience.

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So you all, when we go.

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through prior things that aren't healed,

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it is going to impact even how you might be showing up

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in this community.

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You know, some people I've been coaching

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in this community for four years,

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and I know everybody's different.

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And so again, for those of you that hear this,

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if this applies to you, no shame, guilt, or condemnation,

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I know everybody's different,

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but some people will literally,

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they'll come and they'll do the hard work,

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but they'll never engage.

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They'll never let anybody see them.

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They won't post.

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And I wanna encourage you to not do that,

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but to allow yourself to post,

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to get out of your comfort zone.

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You know, one of the biggest things

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is the toughest things for you all,

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is sometimes some people,

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and I've had this happen for years too,

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I really don't wanna tell the group this.

348
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It's just too, you know, embarrassing or whatnot.

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And I will always encourage you all,

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always, no matter who you are, go to the group.

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You gotta do it in the group.

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Do you know why?

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Because when we allow ourselves to be transparent and bare

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and people love us anyways,

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it just can shift so much

356
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that we're not judged for the mistakes we've made,

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or we're not judged for the way

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that we're having a hard time processing,

359
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or maybe we don't know what something means

360
00:26:21.220 --> 00:26:23.740
in the hard work material, and we need to ask a question.

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There is never a dumb question you all, ever.

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00:26:27.620 --> 00:26:29.480
Okay, so I just wanna make sure everybody knows

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that we're gonna come in and respond with love

364
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in your post and things, okay?

365
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Matthew 22, 39 says,

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"'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'"

367
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Here's the tricky part.

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There's a lot of you that don't love yourself.

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And not only that, a lot of you don't even like yourself.

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We're taught in the Christian circles,

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you have to love yourself, you know?

372
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And all this, so people choose to love themselves,

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but they don't really like themselves.

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They don't enjoy their own presence, things like that.

375
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So I want you to be thinking about, if that applies to you,

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it makes it really tough to love other people then,

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doesn't it?

378
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Because the Bible's saying,

379
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"'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'"

380
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Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice.

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Most of the time, ladies, that I've made choices to forgive,

382
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I have not felt like, yes, I'm gonna forgive right now.

383
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But you know what?

384
00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:33.360
I've started kind of shifting to that

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because I know that forgiveness, man,

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it brings breakthrough.

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The enemy will love for me to stay in bitterness

388
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and not be open to loving people.

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You know, I get hurt all the time.

390
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There's things that happen all the time, okay?

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But praise the Lord, God restores and He redeems

392
00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:52.560
and He rebuilds and He gives back.

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Ephesians 4.23 says this,

394
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"'Forgive one another just as God forgave you

395
00:27:59.160 --> 00:28:00.720
because of what Christ has done.'"

396
00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:02.320
That's why we started tonight out with,

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00:28:03.060 --> 00:28:04.420
hey, tell me something in the chat

398
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that God's already forgiven you of.

399
00:28:08.220 --> 00:28:09.480
Think on those things.

400
00:28:10.560 --> 00:28:11.740
Colossians 3.13 says,

401
00:28:11.940 --> 00:28:13.860
"'Remember the Lord forgave you,

402
00:28:14.440 --> 00:28:17.740
so you must forgive others.'"

403
00:28:20.080 --> 00:28:22.640
Forgive all the characters in the story as well.

404
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:24.980
So as you all are starting to think about,

405
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:27.580
and the Lord is even ministering to some of you tonight

406
00:28:28.040 --> 00:28:31.640
about, hey, man, maybe He's not saying it to you that way,

407
00:28:31.660 --> 00:28:32.480
but that's how I'm talking.

408
00:28:33.360 --> 00:28:34.880
Hey, daughter, He's probably saying,

409
00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:36.340
hey, hey, Imelda,

410
00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:39.820
like, I just wanna encourage you to forgive this person.

411
00:28:39.860 --> 00:28:41.920
He's probably bringing people to your minds.

412
00:28:42.700 --> 00:28:43.560
You know, this afternoon,

413
00:28:43.580 --> 00:28:45.220
I said even some of you all

414
00:28:45.220 --> 00:28:46.840
have been through work situations,

415
00:28:47.100 --> 00:28:48.480
bosses in your past,

416
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:49.960
things that, you know,

417
00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:52.120
have really brought brokenness, employees.

418
00:28:52.700 --> 00:28:54.080
You know, some of you own businesses,

419
00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:55.680
employees treated you wrong.

420
00:28:56.100 --> 00:28:58.600
They took advantage of you as a giving boss.

421
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You know, all different kinds of ways.

422
00:29:00.360 --> 00:29:03.940
This isn't just about healing and romance

423
00:29:03.940 --> 00:29:05.200
and finding your spirit mate.

424
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:07.720
This is about you getting completely free

425
00:29:07.900 --> 00:29:09.960
in every area of your life,

426
00:29:11.540 --> 00:29:13.120
shedding all the extra weight

427
00:29:13.120 --> 00:29:15.060
that you were never intended to carry.

428
00:29:17.740 --> 00:29:19.500
And so here's the other thing,

429
00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:21.500
forgiving all the characters in the story

430
00:29:21.500 --> 00:29:25.040
means that you also forgive yourself.

431
00:29:26.700 --> 00:29:28.040
You're included in that.

432
00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:30.100
And most of the time,

433
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:33.820
people have the hardest time forgiving themselves.

434
00:29:38.140 --> 00:29:39.540
Eric is asking in the chat,

435
00:29:39.660 --> 00:29:41.060
when you forgive, can you do it

436
00:29:41.060 --> 00:29:44.280
if you're not really feeling it?

437
00:29:44.280 --> 00:29:45.040
Like you say, I forgive myself,

438
00:29:45.040 --> 00:29:46.700
but I don't feel it.

439
00:29:46.900 --> 00:29:48.180
Does that still count?

440
00:29:49.220 --> 00:29:50.140
Well, here's the thing.

441
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:52.260
I think it's about your heart posture

442
00:29:52.260 --> 00:29:53.760
between you and the Lord.

443
00:29:54.140 --> 00:29:56.060
Okay, I think that's what's really key there.

444
00:29:57.660 --> 00:29:59.380
Yeah, I've absolutely.

445
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.520
not felt it, but I have genuinely prayed it and meant

446
00:30:04.520 --> 00:30:07.420
what I was saying. Now, if you're just saying something,

447
00:30:07.700 --> 00:30:11.220
but you don't really, like, you don't mean it. That's

448
00:30:11.280 --> 00:30:16.640
different, right? So if I'm saying, um, you know, Lord, I

449
00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:19.860
forgive, I'm just going to make a name. I'm going to, I forgive

450
00:30:20.060 --> 00:30:25.360
John for, you know, lying to me and deceiving me in this

451
00:30:25.490 --> 00:30:30.490
situation and whatever the situation was. Well, I'm

452
00:30:30.610 --> 00:30:34.390
choosing to forgive. I might not have felt like it, but I

453
00:30:34.390 --> 00:30:38.790
still chose it. Yeah. So it's all about our heart posture.

454
00:30:40.750 --> 00:30:45.270
Yes. Yes. Erica, that's very common. Um, but that's in the

455
00:30:45.270 --> 00:30:47.750
thing here. So what she said for those that can't see the

456
00:30:47.750 --> 00:30:50.750
chat, I always got to remember my replay people. She said,

457
00:30:51.010 --> 00:30:55.470
dang, I'm like, dang, I just don't want to do it. Yeah. A

458
00:30:55.470 --> 00:31:00.150
nd there's the thing that's our flesh talking when we follow

459
00:31:00.150 --> 00:31:05.090
after the spirit. The spirit is always going to lead us to

460
00:31:04.970 --> 00:31:08.230
forgiveness. It's always going to lead us to love. It's always

461
00:31:08.230 --> 00:31:11.290
going to lead us to grace, the fruits of the spirit. If you

462
00:31:11.290 --> 00:31:14.970
think about those alone, that tells you what the spirit is

463
00:31:14.970 --> 00:31:18.830
full of. And so if we are walking in on forgiveness and

464
00:31:18.830 --> 00:31:22.990
even like, Oh, I just don't want to do it. Well, yeah, I don't

465
00:31:22.990 --> 00:31:25.770
always want to do it either because my flesh is crying out

466
00:31:25.770 --> 00:31:30.170
for something different. My flesh wants vengeance. My flesh

467
00:31:30.170 --> 00:31:34.170
wants to see payment, you know, whatever that is, but praise the

468
00:31:34.170 --> 00:31:37.670
Lord. God redeems us and he helps us not, um, continue to

469
00:31:37.670 --> 00:31:40.910
stand in those places. Forgiveness also happens in

470
00:31:40.910 --> 00:31:44.130
layers, ladies. So does healing. I want you to understand that

471
00:31:44.130 --> 00:31:48.330
it's super important. Some of you all have forgiven people

472
00:31:49.130 --> 00:31:52.730
before, and you've done a lot of work in some areas. And while

473
00:31:52.730 --> 00:31:56.890
you're here in the heartwork, that situation might bubble back

474
00:31:56.610 --> 00:32:01.750
up. Okay, it just might. It doesn't mean that what you did

475
00:32:01.750 --> 00:32:06.590
before didn't count or didn't work. But typically what's

476
00:32:06.590 --> 00:32:09.610
happening is God is bringing you another layer of revelation

477
00:32:09.990 --> 00:32:14.230
about that situation, and he wants to heal another layer of

478
00:32:14.230 --> 00:32:17.710
that thing. He wants to heal another part of your heart,

479
00:32:18.070 --> 00:32:21.490
because he's going to give you a fresh understanding of it. So

480
00:32:21.490 --> 00:32:26.130
everyone understand that? Forgiveness happens in layers,

481
00:32:26.570 --> 00:32:30.190
healing happens in layers. I try to encourage you all to just

482
00:32:30.190 --> 00:32:32.990
kind of like if you were, you know, a car hood, sometimes they

483
00:32:32.990 --> 00:32:35.050
pop the hood and you just look up under it, see what's going

484
00:32:35.050 --> 00:32:38.550
on. I want you to think about, you know, when you have to

485
00:32:38.550 --> 00:32:41.270
revisit situations, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to

486
00:32:41.270 --> 00:32:44.950
walk all the way back through everything. Some, some of you

487
00:32:44.950 --> 00:32:50.690
all might need to do that. But oftentimes, we just need to kind

488
00:32:50.690 --> 00:32:55.350
of, okay, Lord, I trust I'm in this process. I trust that if

489
00:32:55.350 --> 00:32:58.710
you're bringing this situation up right now, even though I've

490
00:32:58.710 --> 00:33:01.310
worked on this before, Lord, I believe there's something you're

491
00:33:01.310 --> 00:33:05.250
trying to show me. Lord, can you reveal to me what area of my

492
00:33:05.250 --> 00:33:08.350
heart still needs healing regarding the situation? Is

493
00:33:08.350 --> 00:33:11.630
there something that I need to know that I didn't know before?

494
00:33:12.690 --> 00:33:16.330
And that's typically how I do it. That's what God taught me

495
00:33:16.330 --> 00:33:19.890
through this program. And then you're going to experience new

496
00:33:19.890 --> 00:33:23.850
healing, you know, as you go as well. All right, I'm going to

497
00:33:23.850 --> 00:33:26.570
talk a little bit before we go into breakout sessions about

498
00:33:27.070 --> 00:33:32.150
victim versus survivor versus thriving. And the reason I love

499
00:33:32.150 --> 00:33:35.950
to combine this with forgiveness is that a lot of people when

500
00:33:35.950 --> 00:33:40.450
they are partnered with unforgiveness, they will stand

501
00:33:40.450 --> 00:33:46.910
in the heart posture of victim. Okay? Victims often and again,

502
00:33:46.910 --> 00:33:50.850
if this is where you're at, there is no shame, guilt or

503
00:33:50.830 --> 00:33:54.350
condemnation. If you're hearing it, if you're hearing it that

504
00:33:54.350 --> 00:33:57.750
way, I want to alert you to something. That isn't how I'm

505
00:33:57.750 --> 00:34:02.390
saying it. So you might have a blind spot or a filter over the

506
00:34:02.390 --> 00:34:05.510
ears that you're hearing through that comes from a wound in your

507
00:34:05.190 --> 00:34:10.630
heart. Okay? Super important that you know that. So victims

508
00:34:10.630 --> 00:34:15.770
tend to stand and feeling helpless, blaming other people,

509
00:34:16.730 --> 00:34:24.389
focusing on the past. So for example, sometimes people will,

510
00:34:25.170 --> 00:34:29.330
like it's all their fault that I'm in this financial mess. Now

511
00:34:29.330 --> 00:34:33.330
other people might have done something to you that did, like

512
00:34:33.330 --> 00:34:38.810
lead you in that place. But here's the reality. Like if we

513
00:34:38.810 --> 00:34:43.850
sit and blame them, we're giving them so much power. You

514
00:34:43.850 --> 00:34:47.570
aren't a victim. God wants to heal you and bring you out of

515
00:34:47.570 --> 00:34:51.190
that into a place of thriving. Do you believe that God can give

516
00:34:51.190 --> 00:34:56.929
you everything back that was taken from you? Like fully? Do

517
00:34:56.929 --> 00:34:59.970
you really believe it? Do you really believe that God is a God

518
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.560
out of restitution, redemption, restoration,

519
00:35:03.700 --> 00:35:04.780
that he's a builder?

520
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:07.320
Or do you still tend to believe

521
00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:09.640
that God's actually a demolisher?

522
00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:12.780
One who tears down, breaks it apart,

523
00:35:13.460 --> 00:35:16.460
has no good for you, doesn't fulfill his promises.

524
00:35:16.940 --> 00:35:21.300
Be thinking about where does your heart tend to go

525
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:22.960
when hard things happen?

526
00:35:23.020 --> 00:35:24.980
So I'm gonna activate you really quick here again.

527
00:35:25.560 --> 00:35:27.920
I want you to, you don't have to put this one in the chat.

528
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:29.840
This one's more for you, okay?

529
00:35:30.600 --> 00:35:33.020
I want you to just think about right now,

530
00:35:33.020 --> 00:35:36.820
when something hard or bad happens,

531
00:35:36.820 --> 00:35:38.920
what is your go-to thought?

532
00:35:39.600 --> 00:35:42.280
What is the thought that you typically have

533
00:35:44.140 --> 00:35:45.920
when those things happen?

534
00:35:46.380 --> 00:35:48.400
And I want you just to kind of capture that

535
00:35:48.400 --> 00:35:49.940
in your phone or your notes

536
00:35:50.580 --> 00:35:53.400
so that you can be aware of this for later on.

537
00:35:54.100 --> 00:35:55.600
What is your go-to thought?

538
00:35:55.600 --> 00:35:57.900
So maybe your go-to thought is,

539
00:36:00.620 --> 00:36:02.280
this is never gonna happen for me.

540
00:36:02.700 --> 00:36:03.840
This is never gonna work.

541
00:36:05.260 --> 00:36:06.200
Nobody ever loves me.

542
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:08.160
Nobody ever makes time for me.

543
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:09.440
I'm always left out.

544
00:36:09.520 --> 00:36:10.260
I'm never chosen.

545
00:36:10.660 --> 00:36:12.080
You know, there's so many I could say, you all.

546
00:36:12.440 --> 00:36:13.380
There's so many I could say.

547
00:36:13.820 --> 00:36:15.220
If you wanna put yours in the chat,

548
00:36:15.300 --> 00:36:16.640
you can totally put yours in the chat.

549
00:36:17.400 --> 00:36:20.820
I know not everyone is gonna want to, and that's all right.

550
00:36:21.500 --> 00:36:24.960
Erica said hers is, why does this happen to me?

551
00:36:26.180 --> 00:36:27.580
That's good, you're seeing a shift.

552
00:36:27.860 --> 00:36:29.600
Oh, God is teaching you, that's awesome.

553
00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:31.620
God is never gonna come through.

554
00:36:32.640 --> 00:36:35.560
I always just think that others don't really care about me.

555
00:36:35.600 --> 00:36:38.140
I'm always gonna be forgotten and God doesn't care.

556
00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:39.500
It's all up to me.

557
00:36:40.200 --> 00:36:41.280
Yeah, a lot of people.

558
00:36:44.260 --> 00:36:46.020
Well, I'm just saying, Sarah,

559
00:36:46.140 --> 00:36:48.620
so something in your life happens that's hard

560
00:36:48.620 --> 00:36:51.660
or you experience some kind of wound

561
00:36:52.020 --> 00:36:53.880
or trauma that you go through,

562
00:36:54.540 --> 00:36:57.820
but everybody's bad and hard is different.

563
00:36:58.120 --> 00:37:02.540
So it really depends on you and what you're walking through.

564
00:37:03.740 --> 00:37:05.100
Let's see here, sorry.

565
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:08.200
God and or that person doesn't like me.

566
00:37:08.240 --> 00:37:09.700
I'm never gonna get through this.

567
00:37:09.740 --> 00:37:11.400
I have to figure this out on my own.

568
00:37:12.500 --> 00:37:13.580
Here we go again.

569
00:37:14.240 --> 00:37:15.500
How could they do this?

570
00:37:15.520 --> 00:37:18.200
I don't belong here or I have to figure this out myself.

571
00:37:18.200 --> 00:37:20.380
That came up twice tonight in that chat.

572
00:37:21.640 --> 00:37:22.600
Lydia says, I'm cursed.

573
00:37:23.020 --> 00:37:24.760
Okay, praise the Lord, you're not cursed.

574
00:37:25.060 --> 00:37:26.580
We'll talk about that in a little bit.

575
00:37:26.740 --> 00:37:28.820
I feel like maybe I should talk about that for a sec.

576
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:31.260
I'll never get married.

577
00:37:31.680 --> 00:37:33.660
I'm not the marrying kind.

578
00:37:33.960 --> 00:37:35.280
I'm not enough.

579
00:37:37.100 --> 00:37:38.360
I'm always gonna be rejected.

580
00:37:38.620 --> 00:37:39.400
Okay, awesome.

581
00:37:39.680 --> 00:37:41.100
Keep putting that in there.

582
00:37:42.560 --> 00:37:45.240
Renee says, I'm not good enough to do this thing.

583
00:37:45.600 --> 00:37:47.760
Annette says, it's my fault, I'm stupid.

584
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:50.100
Make sure we're coming out of alignment

585
00:37:50.100 --> 00:37:51.620
and agreement with those statements.

586
00:37:51.900 --> 00:37:56.140
Those are literally self-hatred kind of thoughts in there.

587
00:37:56.900 --> 00:37:58.620
All right, you all can keep putting those in there

588
00:37:58.620 --> 00:38:00.220
as you start to hear more things.

589
00:38:00.980 --> 00:38:04.000
All right, so remember, victim is feeling helpless.

590
00:38:04.700 --> 00:38:07.740
You're standing in blame and like you're blaming others,

591
00:38:07.820 --> 00:38:08.880
you're focusing on the past.

592
00:38:09.100 --> 00:38:10.560
A survivor is great.

593
00:38:10.620 --> 00:38:13.260
In our society, that's a big esteemed thing.

594
00:38:13.260 --> 00:38:14.880
I'm not saying that's not good,

595
00:38:15.640 --> 00:38:18.100
but we want you to go all the way through to thrive.

596
00:38:18.180 --> 00:38:20.340
But I am gonna tell you what a survivor sounds like.

597
00:38:20.460 --> 00:38:22.720
They have reclaimed their power.

598
00:38:23.200 --> 00:38:24.760
They take responsibility of choices.

599
00:38:25.060 --> 00:38:27.120
They choose to heal, so they do self-care.

600
00:38:27.560 --> 00:38:28.460
They start saying no,

601
00:38:28.540 --> 00:38:30.240
they start working on their boundaries.

602
00:38:31.520 --> 00:38:36.120
But like typically, a survivor kind of, they will exist.

603
00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:38.680
They will live and they will have some victory,

604
00:38:38.960 --> 00:38:41.700
but they may not take the land fully,

605
00:38:41.840 --> 00:38:42.920
if y'all know what I'm saying.

606
00:38:42.920 --> 00:38:47.320
So, you know, if you think of Joshua and Caleb,

607
00:38:48.120 --> 00:38:49.320
and you think about the other people

608
00:38:49.320 --> 00:38:51.620
that decided to not go into the promised land,

609
00:38:52.520 --> 00:38:54.840
the people that didn't go into the promised land

610
00:38:54.840 --> 00:38:56.040
ended up being survivors.

611
00:38:56.500 --> 00:38:57.540
They came out of Egypt,

612
00:38:58.040 --> 00:39:01.020
but they did not go into the promised land.

613
00:39:02.100 --> 00:39:03.720
God wants you to go into the promised land.

614
00:39:03.860 --> 00:39:04.960
He wants you to thrive.

615
00:39:05.020 --> 00:39:06.320
He wants you to go into the land

616
00:39:06.320 --> 00:39:07.480
flowing with milk and honey.

617
00:39:08.220 --> 00:39:10.680
He wants to give you all that good stuff.

618
00:39:10.680 --> 00:39:13.260
Thriving people focus on the future.

619
00:39:14.080 --> 00:39:15.700
They have power regarding their future.

620
00:39:16.040 --> 00:39:18.560
They surround themselves with other people who are thriving.

621
00:39:19.680 --> 00:39:22.920
Thriving people grow, they prosper, they flourish.

622
00:39:23.420 --> 00:39:25.300
And y'all, it's okay if you're not there yet.

623
00:39:26.460 --> 00:39:28.980
And let me say this too, I think it's really important.

624
00:39:30.040 --> 00:39:35.000
You might be in victim posture in one part of your heart,

625
00:39:35.540 --> 00:39:38.480
and another part of your heart, you might be surviving.

626
00:39:39.780 --> 00:39:43.020
But typically, if you've got parts of your heart

627
00:39:43.020 --> 00:39:45.000
and your attitudes and your mindsets in victim,

628
00:39:45.200 --> 00:39:47.840
it's really hard for you to be in thriving, okay?

629
00:39:49.380 --> 00:39:51.000
But don't give up.

630
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:53.900
Every day, do one thing in your heart work.

631
00:39:54.280 --> 00:39:55.720
Do one thing to move forward,

632
00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:58.840
and I promise you, you will create momentum.

633
00:39:58.960 --> 00:39:59.980
Do y'all know, just even like me,

634
00:39:59.980 --> 00:39:59.980


635
00:39:59.980 --> 00:39:59.980


636
00:39:59.980 --> 00:39:59.980


637
00:39:59.980 --> 00:39:59.980


638
00:39:59.980 --> 00:39:59.980


639
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.380
like in a pool, if it's a circle pool,

640
00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:04.320
I don't know if this works in a rectangle pool or not,

641
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:05.120
I'm not quite sure.

642
00:40:05.380 --> 00:40:06.480
But if you're in a circle pool

643
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:08.780
and you start going in the same direction

644
00:40:08.900 --> 00:40:10.060
around the edge of the pool,

645
00:40:10.140 --> 00:40:12.440
do you know that eventually that will start to create

646
00:40:12.440 --> 00:40:13.760
like a whirlpool effect?

647
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:17.100
It's okay if you can't swim,

648
00:40:17.180 --> 00:40:18.820
you can walk to do this exercise.

649
00:40:20.660 --> 00:40:22.440
But y'all, the reason I'm saying that

650
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:24.520
is that's how momentum is created.

651
00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:28.840
You just keep walking and you keep leaning

652
00:40:28.840 --> 00:40:30.360
into what God is telling you to do.

653
00:40:30.460 --> 00:40:32.760
And every day you just take another step

654
00:40:32.760 --> 00:40:35.200
and you just keep believing and trusting

655
00:40:35.200 --> 00:40:36.900
that he's gonna work on your behalf.

656
00:40:39.460 --> 00:40:42.460
So I want you to think about the stressors

657
00:40:42.460 --> 00:40:43.800
that are in your life.

658
00:40:46.520 --> 00:40:49.820
When you encounter stressors, when people are thriving,

659
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:52.220
they no longer react anymore.

660
00:40:53.300 --> 00:40:54.580
What do I mean by that?

661
00:40:54.580 --> 00:40:56.920
Well, when the stress and the things are applied,

662
00:40:57.380 --> 00:40:59.880
sometimes people burst into reactions.

663
00:41:00.120 --> 00:41:01.820
They get angry or, you know,

664
00:41:03.280 --> 00:41:05.380
I don't know if y'all have ever had this happen,

665
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:06.940
but I have, even with adult people,

666
00:41:07.200 --> 00:41:09.320
they stomp around and they brood

667
00:41:09.320 --> 00:41:11.700
and then they leave and they slam doors.

668
00:41:11.860 --> 00:41:13.120
And yeah, it's not fun.

669
00:41:13.620 --> 00:41:15.080
The brooding, terrible.

670
00:41:16.720 --> 00:41:18.540
It's not fun stuff to be around.

671
00:41:21.100 --> 00:41:22.480
It makes you wanna laugh, yeah.

672
00:41:22.680 --> 00:41:24.940
We're adults, but sometimes we just don't act like it.

673
00:41:24.940 --> 00:41:25.820
Because you know why?

674
00:41:26.500 --> 00:41:29.460
Because the little girl or the little boy on the inside

675
00:41:29.460 --> 00:41:33.500
that's not healed in there gets triggered.

676
00:41:34.360 --> 00:41:35.680
And that's what comes out.

677
00:41:37.080 --> 00:41:37.960
That's what comes out.

678
00:41:38.540 --> 00:41:41.780
We're literally adults that sometimes are throwing tantrums

679
00:41:41.780 --> 00:41:44.460
that is the little girl or boy on the inside of us

680
00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:46.440
that we're giving into.

681
00:41:47.280 --> 00:41:48.420
Again, that's our flesh.

682
00:41:49.240 --> 00:41:50.580
But the more that you heal,

683
00:41:50.680 --> 00:41:52.140
the more we're gonna get ahold of those things.

684
00:41:52.200 --> 00:41:55.380
The land of thrive, when people are living and thriving,

685
00:41:55.380 --> 00:41:56.940
these are the kind of choices

686
00:41:56.940 --> 00:41:59.300
that they're thinking about and making.

687
00:42:00.140 --> 00:42:01.640
They think about what do they want?

688
00:42:02.020 --> 00:42:03.920
How do they wanna experience the world?

689
00:42:04.920 --> 00:42:05.980
Where do they wanna go?

690
00:42:06.160 --> 00:42:07.040
We dream.

691
00:42:08.260 --> 00:42:09.720
Part of this heart healing course

692
00:42:09.720 --> 00:42:12.420
is we don't want you just to like,

693
00:42:12.420 --> 00:42:13.980
oh, that's great, I healed.

694
00:42:14.160 --> 00:42:16.580
No, we literally want you to awaken

695
00:42:17.260 --> 00:42:19.520
in every area of your life.

696
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:22.940
To know that God has more for you,

697
00:42:22.940 --> 00:42:26.840
abundantly above all you could ever ask, think or imagine.

698
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:30.600
And so you guys come in here

699
00:42:30.740 --> 00:42:33.620
because God leads you in for the spirit mate

700
00:42:33.620 --> 00:42:35.260
and he's like setting you up

701
00:42:35.260 --> 00:42:36.600
and you just don't even know it.

702
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:37.960
You just don't even know it.

703
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:40.040
And then you're in here and it's just like,

704
00:42:40.380 --> 00:42:42.400
God's gonna do some stuff in you radically

705
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:45.460
that you just weren't even asking for it.

706
00:42:45.460 --> 00:42:47.460
But he knew that you needed it.

707
00:42:48.040 --> 00:42:49.640
It's gonna be like a drink of water.

708
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:53.620
People that are thriving also think about

709
00:42:53.620 --> 00:42:54.780
how they're gonna act.

710
00:42:55.180 --> 00:42:56.780
What attitudes do we wanna have?

711
00:42:57.420 --> 00:42:59.160
Do we wanna be known as the person

712
00:42:59.160 --> 00:43:00.800
that always loses their cool?

713
00:43:02.520 --> 00:43:04.960
Or is never satisfied?

714
00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:07.160
Isn't confident?

715
00:43:07.720 --> 00:43:10.160
Do we want to have attitudes of confidence,

716
00:43:10.340 --> 00:43:14.120
of peace, of kindness, of positive mindsets

717
00:43:14.120 --> 00:43:15.700
that we're not always thinking negative

718
00:43:15.700 --> 00:43:16.800
and talking negative?

719
00:43:18.220 --> 00:43:19.620
We also, those that are thriving,

720
00:43:19.620 --> 00:43:22.740
think about where do we wanna focus our resources?

721
00:43:23.980 --> 00:43:26.920
What opportunities do we wanna create for ourself?

722
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:31.480
So maybe you didn't necessarily think of yourself

723
00:43:31.480 --> 00:43:36.120
as a builder, but I believe God has created all of us

724
00:43:36.120 --> 00:43:38.000
to be a builder in one way or another.

725
00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:40.740
And that looks different for everyone.

726
00:43:41.260 --> 00:43:42.880
Maybe your building is painting.

727
00:43:43.720 --> 00:43:44.920
Maybe your building is writing.

728
00:43:45.160 --> 00:43:47.260
Maybe your building, I know a couple of people

729
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:48.660
are teachers in here.

730
00:43:48.660 --> 00:43:50.400
Maybe it's working in banking.

731
00:43:50.720 --> 00:43:53.400
Whatever your calling and your giftings are in,

732
00:43:53.640 --> 00:43:55.420
that is how you build.

733
00:43:55.900 --> 00:43:57.260
That's how you grow something.

734
00:43:57.920 --> 00:44:00.660
And so be proud of who you are and really stand in that.

735
00:44:00.780 --> 00:44:02.000
Okay, so we're gonna get ready to go

736
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:02.920
in the breakout session.

737
00:44:03.620 --> 00:44:04.640
Here is your question.

738
00:44:05.520 --> 00:44:08.760
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?

739
00:44:10.240 --> 00:44:12.200
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?

740
00:44:12.720 --> 00:44:15.000
And I'm gonna get these breakout sessions ready.

741
00:44:15.220 --> 00:44:16.760
We're gonna do this real quick.

742
00:44:16.760 --> 00:44:19.200
As quick as I can, at least.

743
00:44:24.300 --> 00:44:24.440
Okay.

744
00:44:26.080 --> 00:44:28.180
Got you set up for seven minutes tonight.

745
00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:31.600
So when you go in, you're gonna answer or talk about

746
00:44:31.940 --> 00:44:33.840
who do you need to forgive tonight and why?

747
00:44:34.120 --> 00:44:35.660
Remember, you're not coaching each other.

748
00:44:35.780 --> 00:44:37.160
You're not counseling each other.

749
00:44:37.340 --> 00:44:38.940
You're not giving each other advice.

750
00:44:39.020 --> 00:44:42.580
You're just listening to the first person can go.

751
00:44:43.380 --> 00:44:44.280
Thank them for sharing.

752
00:44:45.540 --> 00:44:46.740
Thank you so much for trusting us with your questions.

753
00:44:46.740 --> 00:44:49.000
And then the next person can share.

754
00:44:49.580 --> 00:44:50.720
Okay, so short, brief and powerful.

755
00:44:50.900 --> 00:44:53.040
Ladies, be aware that you're in a room with,

756
00:44:53.340 --> 00:44:54.760
there's gonna be two or three of you

757
00:44:54.820 --> 00:44:56.420
and you're gonna have seven minutes.

758
00:44:56.680 --> 00:44:57.880
So watch your time, okay?

759
00:44:57.880 --> 00:44:59.500
So that everybody has a chance to go.

760
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.500
OK, go ahead and click to join those.

761
00:45:03.240 --> 00:45:04.640
For those in leadership training,

762
00:45:04.860 --> 00:45:05.840
stay here with me, OK?

763
00:45:16.680 --> 00:45:19.400
All right, I'll start praying here in just a moment.

764
00:45:19.980 --> 00:45:22.240
I need to make sure these ladies get situated.

765
00:45:40.920 --> 00:45:43.240
I've got somebody by themselves.

766
00:45:58.020 --> 00:45:59.420
Hold on, so sorry, ladies.

767
00:46:16.440 --> 00:46:16.920
Thank you so much.

768
00:46:16.920 --> 00:46:19.700
Father, thank you so much for your patience.

769
00:46:19.940 --> 00:46:22.480
Lord, thank you for your goodness.

770
00:46:22.900 --> 00:46:24.920
Lord, I thank you that even just some

771
00:46:24.920 --> 00:46:26.900
of the people I'm having to continue to move around,

772
00:46:27.160 --> 00:46:29.460
give them grace for the movement,

773
00:46:29.880 --> 00:46:32.760
help them to receive everything that you have for them,

774
00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:33.860
including those that are here,

775
00:46:34.040 --> 00:46:35.180
those that are gonna watch the replay.

776
00:46:35.780 --> 00:46:37.060
God, we thank you for the revealings,

777
00:46:37.080 --> 00:46:39.840
for healing taking place tonight.

778
00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:42.580
God, we ask you to help us to partner with forgiveness,

779
00:46:43.060 --> 00:46:46.360
Lord, that we would step into receiving the grace

780
00:46:46.360 --> 00:46:48.080
that has been extended to us

781
00:46:48.080 --> 00:46:51.260
and that we would give that out to others as well tonight.

782
00:46:51.260 --> 00:46:55.960
Father, we thank you that you are coming to bring truth

783
00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:58.100
where there's been lies, where there's been deceit,

784
00:46:58.240 --> 00:46:59.000
where there's been darkness.

785
00:46:59.180 --> 00:47:01.360
We thank you for bringing the light of Christ

786
00:47:01.520 --> 00:47:03.380
right into the core of those places.

787
00:47:03.660 --> 00:47:06.320
We thank you for continuing to help us

788
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:09.320
to come out of alignment agreement with heart postures

789
00:47:10.120 --> 00:47:13.980
that are fear-driven, that are not rooted in love,

790
00:47:14.200 --> 00:47:16.420
that are based in the wounds of the past.

791
00:47:17.260 --> 00:47:20.520
And I just hearing in the spirit to intimidation,

792
00:47:20.520 --> 00:47:21.580
and we just thank you, Lord,

793
00:47:21.680 --> 00:47:23.360
that you're helping us to hear

794
00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:25.040
what your spirit is saying to us tonight

795
00:47:25.040 --> 00:47:26.720
and the ways that you define us

796
00:47:26.980 --> 00:47:29.900
and are redefining us every day

797
00:47:29.900 --> 00:47:34.100
as we are learning more, Lord, just how you see us, Lord.

798
00:47:34.300 --> 00:47:36.060
Help us every day to pause and say,

799
00:47:36.060 --> 00:47:37.960
Lord, how do you see me today?

800
00:47:38.100 --> 00:47:40.780
I'm speaking to myself, even as I'm saying that to you all.

801
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:43.400
Just every day that we would pause and say,

802
00:47:43.420 --> 00:47:45.160
Lord, help me to see what you see.

803
00:47:45.960 --> 00:47:48.740
Help me to hear what your spirit wants to say to me today.

804
00:47:48.740 --> 00:47:51.220
I thank you, Lord, that you would just continue

805
00:47:52.340 --> 00:47:54.500
to remind us that you take our feet

806
00:47:54.540 --> 00:47:56.260
out of the muck and the mire,

807
00:47:56.420 --> 00:47:58.260
and you set our feet upon the rock,

808
00:47:58.320 --> 00:48:01.480
and you lead us back to you in every situation.

809
00:48:01.640 --> 00:48:02.920
Glenna, did you get kicked out?

810
00:48:03.300 --> 00:48:07.180
The person that joined, they would go off mute

811
00:48:07.180 --> 00:48:11.000
and then go back on mute, and they never showed their face,

812
00:48:11.100 --> 00:48:14.400
but I kept trying to encourage him to go off mute,

813
00:48:14.460 --> 00:48:16.500
and I really wanted to-

814
00:48:17.020 --> 00:48:18.480
Okay, I can put you back in.

815
00:48:18.820 --> 00:48:19.660
What room were you in?

816
00:48:20.240 --> 00:48:22.480
Six, but I don't think she's able to-

817
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:24.080
I can put you in a different room, I'm saying.

818
00:48:24.080 --> 00:48:24.740
Oh, that would be great,

819
00:48:24.800 --> 00:48:26.820
because I really need to talk about this.

820
00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:27.960
Okay, here you go.

821
00:48:28.300 --> 00:48:28.760
Thank you.

822
00:48:29.260 --> 00:48:29.620
You're welcome.

823
00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:33.900
Do you see that there for you?

824
00:48:34.300 --> 00:48:35.980
No, I don't see anything yet.

825
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:43.980
Oh, I did it for Stacey.

826
00:48:44.140 --> 00:48:45.600
Sorry, I did it for the other girl in there.

827
00:48:45.600 --> 00:48:46.160
There you go.

828
00:48:46.560 --> 00:48:47.660
All right, thank you.

829
00:48:48.140 --> 00:48:49.280
Okay, you're welcome.

830
00:48:49.660 --> 00:48:52.300
All right, so as we're praying and leading into that,

831
00:48:52.600 --> 00:48:54.660
I wanted to read this scripture over us.

832
00:48:54.780 --> 00:48:58.580
1 Peter 5, verse 8 in the NLT.

833
00:48:58.840 --> 00:48:59.700
It says, stay alert.

834
00:49:00.340 --> 00:49:02.240
Watch out for your great enemy.

835
00:49:02.420 --> 00:49:04.060
I can't talk tonight, you all.

836
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:06.780
The devil, he prowls around like a roaring lion,

837
00:49:06.860 --> 00:49:09.480
looking for someone to devour.

838
00:49:10.680 --> 00:49:13.540
Lord, we thank you that you are bringing truth.

839
00:49:13.540 --> 00:49:16.420
You're showing us where the enemy is prowling around

840
00:49:16.540 --> 00:49:17.900
like a roaring lion,

841
00:49:18.340 --> 00:49:21.240
seeing which areas can he devour us in.

842
00:49:21.380 --> 00:49:23.600
Can he take us into isolation or withdrawal?

843
00:49:24.260 --> 00:49:26.400
Lord, we thank you that you're revealing to us

844
00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:30.340
the pain of the past and times where we were lonely,

845
00:49:30.560 --> 00:49:32.580
where we felt abandoned, neglected,

846
00:49:32.580 --> 00:49:35.840
and we partnered with the lie that nobody loved us.

847
00:49:36.340 --> 00:49:39.420
That's a word for somebody that's here tonight live

848
00:49:39.420 --> 00:49:40.580
or gonna watch the replay.

849
00:49:40.760 --> 00:49:41.960
That isn't truth.

850
00:49:41.960 --> 00:49:45.220
You were loved from the foundation of the world

851
00:49:45.220 --> 00:49:47.200
that God, when he created you,

852
00:49:47.400 --> 00:49:49.100
he said, man, look at her.

853
00:49:49.360 --> 00:49:50.120
She's beautiful.

854
00:49:50.440 --> 00:49:51.160
She's amazing.

855
00:49:51.420 --> 00:49:54.020
I have fearfully and wonderfully made her.

856
00:49:54.540 --> 00:49:56.920
I've formed her exactly the way that I wanted her

857
00:49:56.920 --> 00:49:58.520
and I put amazing things in her.

858
00:49:58.960 --> 00:49:59.980
And I love you.

859
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.560
love her. So we thank you, Lord, for this truth. We thank you for

860
00:50:03.560 --> 00:50:07.260
the reminder, God, that we are not forsaken. You will never

861
00:50:07.260 --> 00:50:10.200
forsake us. You'll never leave us. You'll never turn your back

862
00:50:10.200 --> 00:50:14.000
on us. God, we thank you that you would continue to help us to

863
00:50:14.400 --> 00:50:19.180
just receive the truth of your love. And not only the truth of

864
00:50:19.180 --> 00:50:22.900
your love, but that we would experience a tangible experience

865
00:50:22.900 --> 00:50:27.680
of your love in a fresh way. Thank you, Lord, for continuing

866
00:50:27.680 --> 00:50:32.460
to lead us. Also in Psalm 119, 165, in the Passion

867
00:50:32.460 --> 00:50:35.900
Translation, it says this, there is such a great peace and

868
00:50:35.900 --> 00:50:39.420
well-being that comes to the lovers of your word, and they

869
00:50:39.420 --> 00:50:47.240
will never be offended. Wow. To be in such a place in our

870
00:50:47.240 --> 00:50:51.920
hearts that we would never be offended. Father, I thank you

871
00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:57.580
that we can be so filled with your peace and the well-being

872
00:50:57.580 --> 00:51:00.960
that comes from being in your peace, from residing in your

873
00:51:01.740 --> 00:51:05.960
presence, and loving your word and seeking you and spending

874
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:09.420
time with you that we can get to a place where we would not be

875
00:51:09.140 --> 00:51:13.020
offended. Because why? I believe in Jesus' name that our hearts

876
00:51:13.160 --> 00:51:17.120
are covered and they have like an extra filter when we're

877
00:51:17.260 --> 00:51:22.060
literally just met like deep, deep, deep in the understanding

878
00:51:22.060 --> 00:51:25.600
of God's love for us. And I just thank you, Lord, that you're

879
00:51:25.600 --> 00:51:29.680
leading us into these places and spaces of truth that we have

880
00:51:29.680 --> 00:51:34.920
maybe not experienced in the past. We thank you that. Yes,

881
00:51:34.760 --> 00:51:41.700
Lord. He says in Exodus 26, I lavish unfailing love for a

882
00:51:41.700 --> 00:51:45.740
thousand generations on those who love me and obey my

883
00:51:45.740 --> 00:51:49.800
commands. Y'all, it is a command. It's not like one of

884
00:51:49.800 --> 00:51:53.860
the commandments, but it is a command. God says, we must

885
00:51:54.460 --> 00:51:58.180
forgive because we have been forgiven. So I want you to

886
00:51:58.180 --> 00:52:01.240
understand that that's one of those, those commands that it's

887
00:52:01.240 --> 00:52:05.880
talking about here. I lavish unfailing love for a thousand

888
00:52:05.960 --> 00:52:13.160
generations on those who love me and obey my commands. God, I

889
00:52:13.160 --> 00:52:15.540
thank you that you would help us to obey the commands that we

890
00:52:15.540 --> 00:52:18.340
would obey all that you tell us to do. And Lord, that we would

891
00:52:18.340 --> 00:52:22.580
do it not out of legal duty, but out of the overflow of our love

892
00:52:22.580 --> 00:52:26.160
for you, that we're rooted and grounded in love. And we, we

893
00:52:26.160 --> 00:52:28.900
trust that you have good things for us. And we trust that the

894
00:52:28.900 --> 00:52:33.800
things that you're leading us into are good as well. We thank

895
00:52:33.800 --> 00:52:37.600
you that you're also showing us all of the things, Lord, where

896
00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:42.420
our, yes, Lord, our mindsets and our, our viewpoints have been

897
00:52:43.280 --> 00:52:46.660
low. And what I keep seeing is like, you know, the forest for

898
00:52:46.660 --> 00:52:50.240
the trees. And so some of us were looking at situations and

899
00:52:50.240 --> 00:52:53.560
all we see is that thing right in front of us, but God is

900
00:52:53.560 --> 00:52:57.980
wanting to take us up higher to have an eagle eye view of the

901
00:52:58.140 --> 00:53:02.180
situation. He wants to give us his perspective of how he's

902
00:53:02.180 --> 00:53:06.140
working all things together for good to save many people alive,

903
00:53:06.140 --> 00:53:12.600
just like Genesis 50, 20 talks about when, when Joseph went

904
00:53:12.600 --> 00:53:15.660
through all of that stuff, imagine he was sold by his own

905
00:53:15.660 --> 00:53:19.660
brothers into slavery. Y'all used to, he was tossed in a pit

906
00:53:19.780 --> 00:53:23.460
and then he gets taken out of there and he gets taken to a

907
00:53:23.160 --> 00:53:27.400
castle. And then the wife of the house tries to lure him into

908
00:53:27.400 --> 00:53:29.500
stuff. He didn't do anything wrong and he gets thrown in

909
00:53:29.600 --> 00:53:33.840
prison. Sounds pretty tough, right? I want you to think about

910
00:53:33.840 --> 00:53:39.600
that because that is what Genesis 50, 20 comes from. To

911
00:53:39.600 --> 00:53:43.340
save many people alive, God was working all of that stuff

912
00:53:43.340 --> 00:53:48.400
together for good to redeem people's hearts and lives for

913
00:53:48.400 --> 00:53:51.300
his glory. Welcome back, everyone. We're so glad to have

914
00:53:51.300 --> 00:53:54.320
you. I see that some of you are having trouble with the audio.

915
00:53:55.160 --> 00:53:59.960
Totally understand. Maybe look into how you can fix that for

916
00:53:59.960 --> 00:54:03.360
next week so that if you are wanting to share, you have the

917
00:54:03.360 --> 00:54:06.860
capability to share. And just, just so y'all know, we totally

918
00:54:06.860 --> 00:54:09.960
understand tech difficulties. So I hope no one feels anxious

919
00:54:09.960 --> 00:54:13.300
about that. Okay. All right. Really quickly, before we go

920
00:54:13.300 --> 00:54:17.340
into group coaching, your activations for this week, I

921
00:54:17.340 --> 00:54:19.920
will kind of put those up. I'll take the old activation from

922
00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:24.240
last week down. I'll put the new one up. Step number one,

923
00:54:24.400 --> 00:54:27.520
complete forgiveness prayer sheets. Where do you find those?

924
00:54:27.640 --> 00:54:30.200
Well, you can find that under the welcome section. You can

925
00:54:30.200 --> 00:54:34.440
also find it in week four, if you are in week four or beyond

926
00:54:34.300 --> 00:54:39.640
there. But really quickly, you can find that in the welcome

927
00:54:39.640 --> 00:54:42.440
area. I'm going to just show it to you real quick. Had some

928
00:54:42.440 --> 00:54:46.720
people asking some really great, great questions. I'm saying all

929
00:54:46.720 --> 00:54:50.840
kinds of funny stuff tonight. You can print these off and then

930
00:54:50.840 --> 00:54:53.480
just fill them in. Okay, you're going to write the name of the

931
00:54:53.480 --> 00:54:56.700
person who offended you. You're going to be specific, ladies.

932
00:54:56.700 --> 00:54:59.980
Let's not generalize what what was the offense. Don't just

933
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.820
say, oh, they hurt me, you know, let's be specific.

934
00:55:03.820 --> 00:55:07.280
You need to actually say, what are you forgiving them for?

935
00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:10.680
And then you write their name, you know, all the things.

936
00:55:10.680 --> 00:55:11.960
And then you come down here,

937
00:55:11.980 --> 00:55:14.180
what is the Holy Spirit saying to you?

938
00:55:14.180 --> 00:55:16.940
After you pray that prayer, right above it,

939
00:55:16.940 --> 00:55:17.920
you're gonna journal.

940
00:55:18.200 --> 00:55:20.400
What is the Holy Spirit saying to you about this person,

941
00:55:20.540 --> 00:55:22.720
this situation, about yourself?

942
00:55:23.080 --> 00:55:26.800
And here's the thing, if that, if you pray this stuff

943
00:55:26.800 --> 00:55:28.420
and you're asking the Holy Spirit,

944
00:55:28.420 --> 00:55:30.020
like, what is it you want me to know

945
00:55:30.020 --> 00:55:31.300
and you're not hearing anything?

946
00:55:31.560 --> 00:55:33.760
Do y'all know it's okay to just write,

947
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:37.200
I'm not hearing anything right now, Lord, help me to hear

948
00:55:37.540 --> 00:55:40.360
or to recognize the way that you speak to me

949
00:55:40.360 --> 00:55:43.820
so that I know that you're talking, okay?

950
00:55:43.820 --> 00:55:46.260
Because sometimes what happens is when people do this,

951
00:55:46.260 --> 00:55:47.560
they're just like, I'm not hearing anything,

952
00:55:47.580 --> 00:55:48.360
I'm not hearing anything.

953
00:55:48.360 --> 00:55:51.200
And then they just get frustrated and they quit.

954
00:55:51.220 --> 00:55:52.560
And I don't want you to do that.

955
00:55:52.780 --> 00:55:54.960
Just understand that God is always speaking.

956
00:55:55.240 --> 00:55:57.440
Sometimes it's just, we're not quite sure

957
00:55:57.440 --> 00:55:58.800
how he speaks to us.

958
00:55:59.220 --> 00:56:02.800
So it's tuning our antennas to his voice.

959
00:56:03.040 --> 00:56:04.240
Another way we can learn his voice

960
00:56:04.240 --> 00:56:06.360
is through reading the word of God.

961
00:56:06.920 --> 00:56:08.000
Truly, y'all, okay?

962
00:56:08.520 --> 00:56:12.180
Number two activation for this week, it goes with this.

963
00:56:12.620 --> 00:56:14.420
After you do your forgiveness prayer sheet,

964
00:56:15.840 --> 00:56:17.700
you're gonna come into the

965
00:56:17.700 --> 00:56:20.060
Last Year Single HeartWork app group.

966
00:56:20.440 --> 00:56:23.920
And in the community tab, you're gonna create a post

967
00:56:23.920 --> 00:56:25.880
and your post is gonna be about

968
00:56:26.600 --> 00:56:29.080
who are you forgiving this week and why?

969
00:56:30.540 --> 00:56:32.120
And one post is great.

970
00:56:32.200 --> 00:56:34.240
If you feel led to do more, you can do more.

971
00:56:34.300 --> 00:56:35.320
It's totally up to you.

972
00:56:35.440 --> 00:56:37.400
Who are you forgiving this week and why?

973
00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:39.260
I want you to tell us about it, okay?

974
00:56:40.440 --> 00:56:42.460
And then we're gonna go into group coaching

975
00:56:42.700 --> 00:56:44.840
and hopefully, Erica, on that,

976
00:56:45.060 --> 00:56:46.920
hopefully that was enough understanding

977
00:56:46.920 --> 00:56:48.740
on how to hear his voice.

978
00:56:48.960 --> 00:56:50.760
But we do have a session

979
00:56:50.760 --> 00:56:52.960
as you all go further into the program.

980
00:56:52.960 --> 00:56:55.900
We actually have a session on how to hear from God

981
00:56:55.900 --> 00:56:59.100
that goes into really like in-depth about that, okay?

982
00:56:59.180 --> 00:57:01.880
So I wanna encourage you all that that is down the road

983
00:57:01.880 --> 00:57:04.100
and you'll learn more in here as well

984
00:57:04.100 --> 00:57:06.180
as you're clearing out your heart.

985
00:57:06.280 --> 00:57:08.360
You'll start to hear God differently

986
00:57:08.400 --> 00:57:11.260
and hopefully easier and better, okay?

987
00:57:11.740 --> 00:57:13.880
Awesome, Karen, Roa, go ahead.

988
00:57:16.580 --> 00:57:19.620
Hey, hey, I wanted to thank you and Andrea

989
00:57:19.620 --> 00:57:22.160
for your great insight two weeks ago.

990
00:57:22.160 --> 00:57:24.800
I responded, but I know like responses to responses

991
00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:26.980
aren't coming through, so I wanted to say thank you.

992
00:57:27.200 --> 00:57:27.760
That was- Oh, you're welcome.

993
00:57:27.880 --> 00:57:28.340
Really helpful.

994
00:57:29.240 --> 00:57:34.240
In response to Andrea's question about deep grief,

995
00:57:34.920 --> 00:57:37.700
it was interesting to think about,

996
00:57:38.920 --> 00:57:40.800
I had been saying that it was a grief

997
00:57:40.800 --> 00:57:44.040
of like not being able to share a newborn baby with my mom

998
00:57:44.040 --> 00:57:45.720
because she might not be here in a year

999
00:57:46.600 --> 00:57:49.000
or marriage or I was looking at those griefs,

1000
00:57:49.000 --> 00:57:51.840
but the question peaked at the deep grief

1001
00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:54.780
of losing my grandmother when I was 15,

1002
00:57:56.460 --> 00:58:00.540
but I couldn't process it because my dad was really sick,

1003
00:58:00.680 --> 00:58:02.600
my mom was having to keep our family together,

1004
00:58:02.860 --> 00:58:05.620
my sister was falling apart as well,

1005
00:58:05.680 --> 00:58:07.480
she was going through a breakup with an engagement,

1006
00:58:07.740 --> 00:58:09.240
my brother was at college,

1007
00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:11.380
like there was no one to turn to and grandma had died.

1008
00:58:11.960 --> 00:58:13.760
So that's when I started to realize

1009
00:58:14.040 --> 00:58:17.100
or think that I had to handle life on my own

1010
00:58:17.100 --> 00:58:19.060
and that's been a theme ever since.

1011
00:58:19.280 --> 00:58:22.340
So that question of like picking out a deep grief

1012
00:58:22.340 --> 00:58:25.320
got to like, did I ever actually grieve my grandma?

1013
00:58:26.300 --> 00:58:28.380
I don't know, I think I just went to survival mode.

1014
00:58:29.160 --> 00:58:30.040
Okay, that's awesome.

1015
00:58:30.040 --> 00:58:32.880
And then I have to handle things on my own

1016
00:58:32.880 --> 00:58:36.300
and it's, I keep reliving that right now

1017
00:58:36.300 --> 00:58:37.800
because my mom is so sick

1018
00:58:37.800 --> 00:58:40.780
and I saw her not be able to grieve her own mom

1019
00:58:40.780 --> 00:58:41.560
when she passed.

1020
00:58:41.560 --> 00:58:41.960
Yeah.

1021
00:58:44.340 --> 00:58:48.600
And I'm struggling with taking on ownership of her emotions,

1022
00:58:48.920 --> 00:58:52.540
her discouragement, the physical ailments.

1023
00:58:53.240 --> 00:58:56.000
So I went through and broke some soul ties with her today.

1024
00:58:58.120 --> 00:59:01.440
Yeah, I don't know what beyond that.

1025
00:59:02.140 --> 00:59:03.600
I think the biggest thing is,

1026
00:59:03.780 --> 00:59:05.940
hey, have you actually now taken the time

1027
00:59:05.940 --> 00:59:06.860
to grieve your grandma?

1028
00:59:08.840 --> 00:59:10.760
Throughout my adulthood here and there

1029
00:59:10.760 --> 00:59:15.000
and I think what it's picking up now is like,

1030
00:59:16.260 --> 00:59:16.640
I don't,

1031
00:59:19.080 --> 00:59:20.680
some people have said I need to make a grief plan

1032
00:59:20.680 --> 00:59:22.000
for when my mom does pass,

1033
00:59:22.080 --> 00:59:24.440
but I'm like, I don't wanna partner with that.

1034
00:59:24.820 --> 00:59:27.020
Well, if you're not, here's the thing,

1035
00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:30.300
ladies, it's really important for us to understand this.

1036
00:59:30.540 --> 00:59:33.620
Having a plan doesn't mean you're like,

1037
00:59:33.680 --> 00:59:36.020
okay, this is gonna happen, okay?

1038
00:59:36.200 --> 00:59:39.280
It's just saying that when the day comes,

1039
00:59:39.940 --> 00:59:43.260
that you are going to know how you're gonna process it

1040
00:59:43.260 --> 00:59:44.520
or handle it.

1041
00:59:44.520 --> 00:59:46.100
It's just like my grandparents,

1042
00:59:46.840 --> 00:59:50.340
before they passed away, they went and did everything.

1043
00:59:50.580 --> 00:59:51.960
They did the plot of land,

1044
00:59:52.020 --> 00:59:53.240
they figured out all the things

1045
00:59:53.240 --> 00:59:55.560
because they didn't want the kids,

1046
00:59:55.900 --> 00:59:58.200
their grandchildren to have to deal with that.

1047
00:59:58.560 --> 00:59:59.980
That was kind of their.

1048
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.620
their plan, if you will. Now, you know, I think because the

1049
01:00:04.620 --> 01:00:10.700
one thing I'm going to caution you on is that if it helps you

1050
01:00:10.700 --> 01:00:15.200
move forward, I think it will be good for you right now. But

1051
01:00:15.200 --> 01:00:18.800
because you have struggled to really come out of grief for so

1052
01:00:18.640 --> 01:00:22.160
long, my concern is that this is going to lead you right back

1053
01:00:22.440 --> 01:00:28.660
into that. And so I'm not saying don't make a grief plan, but

1054
01:00:28.660 --> 01:00:33.980
your mom, you know, isn't there yet. Right. And I, I spent the

1055
01:00:33.980 --> 01:00:38.020
last two days with a lot of tears. Like, I felt like I was

1056
01:00:38.020 --> 01:00:41.900
in deep grief. I'm like, but she's still here. Yet part of

1057
01:00:41.900 --> 01:00:44.820
her isn't because she's so discouraged. She's not the mom

1058
01:00:44.820 --> 01:00:45.740
I've always known.

1059
01:00:46.240 --> 01:00:49.100
Yeah, well, and this is something I want to encourage

1060
01:00:49.100 --> 01:00:52.240
you about too. So Job in the story of Job, it says that the

1061
01:00:52.360 --> 01:00:59.100
thing that he has feared came upon him. And so right now

1062
01:00:59.100 --> 01:01:03.260
what's happening is you're actually like, wrestling with

1063
01:01:03.260 --> 01:01:08.240
the spirit of fear. And you know, people change. And I know

1064
01:01:08.240 --> 01:01:11.660
that's hard for us. But even the reality is once you get married,

1065
01:01:12.120 --> 01:01:15.380
it doesn't mean people change everything about them. But like,

1066
01:01:15.380 --> 01:01:18.800
when hard things happen, it's hard sometimes and they need to

1067
01:01:18.800 --> 01:01:22.380
be able to process that and be who they really are. And, and

1068
01:01:22.380 --> 01:01:25.940
maybe what's happening to maybe part of what you're seeing is

1069
01:01:25.940 --> 01:01:30.560
maybe it's not just been grief. Maybe there's been a spirit of

1070
01:01:30.560 --> 01:01:34.440
depression kind of lingering over your family for a while.

1071
01:01:34.820 --> 01:01:36.280
Oh, yeah, generationally.

1072
01:01:36.860 --> 01:01:40.520
Yeah, because again, I'm not saying I know that your mom is

1073
01:01:40.720 --> 01:01:43.760
like struggling with depression, but that might be happening a

1074
01:01:43.760 --> 01:01:47.680
little bit. And if there's, you know, if you're seeing that, and

1075
01:01:47.680 --> 01:01:50.780
then you're taking that on yourself, then I would encourage

1076
01:01:50.780 --> 01:01:54.800
you to ask yourself, where do you end? And she begins,

1077
01:01:55.200 --> 01:01:56.560
I keep asking.

1078
01:01:58.280 --> 01:02:04.280
It's more just about like you. It's amazing how much you love

1079
01:02:04.280 --> 01:02:07.920
your family and your parents. Sometimes it's so different for

1080
01:02:07.920 --> 01:02:12.000
me, because like, I didn't have all that. And so I've had to

1081
01:02:12.180 --> 01:02:18.020
learn how to embrace people as family versus like, to, like,

1082
01:02:18.080 --> 01:02:23.240
oh, wait, like, maybe I am a little too close here in this

1083
01:02:23.240 --> 01:02:27.160
area, where it's like, there's no division between you and

1084
01:02:27.160 --> 01:02:32.520
them. Does that make sense? Yeah. And so you know, part of

1085
01:02:32.520 --> 01:02:38.420
this as well. That's why I keep encouraging you. I really like

1086
01:02:38.420 --> 01:02:43.740
God wants you to live Karen. He wants you to enjoy your life,

1087
01:02:43.740 --> 01:02:47.040
even though it's hard. And your mom's going through something

1088
01:02:47.040 --> 01:02:53.060
hard, you living and thriving is going to tremendously bless her.

1089
01:02:55.620 --> 01:03:00.940
Well, you like you just start. So one of the things ladies,

1090
01:03:01.060 --> 01:03:05.540
remember, I said that our brain has to get rewired over time,

1091
01:03:05.540 --> 01:03:09.660
it's not an immediate thing. And if we try one time, and then we

1092
01:03:09.660 --> 01:03:14.960
just quit, then, then we're not going to be able to rewire the

1093
01:03:14.960 --> 01:03:17.440
brain. And that's what's happening right now. Like you

1094
01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:20.900
have to rewire your brain by doing the same thing over and

1095
01:03:20.900 --> 01:03:23.660
over and over, you just keep going out there and doing it,

1096
01:03:23.660 --> 01:03:28.040
you live, you say, I choose today to go in and do something

1097
01:03:28.040 --> 01:03:33.340
fun and live. I choose today to go and invest in my, you know,

1098
01:03:33.340 --> 01:03:35.880
spirit, my relationship when when you're out of hard work,

1099
01:03:36.140 --> 01:03:39.600
you know, whatever, but just that you're you are intentionally

1100
01:03:39.980 --> 01:03:44.680
like another way is literally I want you to put on your

1101
01:03:44.760 --> 01:03:50.880
calendar, Karen time, time for just you to do something fun.

1102
01:03:50.880 --> 01:03:53.800
And I want it to stay fun. And I want it to have a lot of fun

1103
01:03:53.800 --> 01:03:58.320
emojis, because I want it to remind you that you having fun

1104
01:03:58.320 --> 01:04:02.380
and you living your life is just as important as all the other

1105
01:04:02.380 --> 01:04:08.360
things that are taking up your time right now. Thanks. Does

1106
01:04:08.360 --> 01:04:09.120
that make sense?

1107
01:04:09.700 --> 01:04:12.500
Does I need a reimagination of what fun is?

1108
01:04:13.220 --> 01:04:16.800
Okay, so let's discover it. I gave this assignment this

1109
01:04:16.800 --> 01:04:19.080
afternoon. I'll give this assignment to you too. So you

1110
01:04:19.080 --> 01:04:22.120
have two assignment now two assignments, you're going to put

1111
01:04:22.120 --> 01:04:24.160
some time on your calendar, you're literally going to block

1112
01:04:24.160 --> 01:04:27.780
it out, you're going to start planning fun. So this is how

1113
01:04:27.780 --> 01:04:31.940
you're going to start moving towards that. Um, I gave her

1114
01:04:31.940 --> 01:04:34.920
more of like a dream board. But like, I want to encourage you

1115
01:04:34.920 --> 01:04:38.280
doesn't have to be big. Okay, anybody. And ladies, when I

1116
01:04:38.280 --> 01:04:40.100
coach other people, if something's speaking to you,

1117
01:04:40.180 --> 01:04:43.500
just take it for yourself. And you can do it too. Okay, so eight

1118
01:04:43.500 --> 01:04:46.800
and a half sheet of paper. And I want you just to write, you

1119
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:50.280
know, Lord, what does fun look like, and then literally just

1120
01:04:50.280 --> 01:04:53.560
start, you know, going through magazines or go online and start

1121
01:04:53.560 --> 01:04:57.040
looking up pictures. And then when you see something, if you

1122
01:04:57.040 --> 01:04:59.980
think that looks fun, print that thing out or cut that

1123
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.880
thing out and put it on that board because this is going to be about you like rediscovering

1124
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:12.280
who you are and not just who you were have been through the counterfeit identities but

1125
01:05:12.280 --> 01:05:21.320
who did God create you to be like what inside of Karen like you know we play hide and seek

1126
01:05:21.320 --> 01:05:26.600
and it's like God's saying come out come out wherever you are you know and I'm not making

1127
01:05:26.600 --> 01:05:33.520
fun but like he's calling to the deep places in us and he's calling us to come out and

1128
01:05:33.520 --> 01:05:42.020
play and have fun and live and thrive and come out from these places of I can't I can't

1129
01:05:42.020 --> 01:05:49.780
do it I don't know how and just say Lord I can do it today through your grace and I'm

1130
01:05:49.780 --> 01:05:56.220
not saying you're always going to feel like it's just like forgiveness it's a choice sometimes

1131
01:05:56.220 --> 01:06:01.320
it's going to be a sacrifice of praise Karen yeah I've been thinking about that verse a

1132
01:06:01.320 --> 01:06:07.700
lot yeah but think about the verse but don't get stuck in the grief okay because you're

1133
01:06:07.700 --> 01:06:12.300
going to live now and so I want you to kind of do those things this week and I would love

1134
01:06:12.300 --> 01:06:18.300
if you're willing to put your thing in the group we'd love to see it okay because yeah

1135
01:06:18.300 --> 01:06:21.680
we can pray over you for that and I think it'll be really great we can celebrate with

1136
01:06:21.680 --> 01:06:27.860
you and you know your sisters can help you dream and plan all kinds of fun stuff I'm

1137
01:06:27.860 --> 01:06:33.380
sure of it yeah I need good ideas y'all so yeah you put that in the group and just you

1138
01:06:33.380 --> 01:06:38.560
can even say hey hey ladies I'm looking for ideas to go have fun and just see what your

1139
01:06:38.560 --> 01:06:43.460
sisters say to you as well that'd be really cool yeah I think it'd be a lot of fun yeah

1140
01:06:43.480 --> 01:06:50.160
awesome thanks for sharing appreciate it all right Isabel go ahead hi so I think the thing

1141
01:06:50.160 --> 01:06:55.120
that was coming up tonight was um so I don't know if you're familiar with like a disc personality

1142
01:06:56.900 --> 01:07:00.880
profile BISC yep I'm pretty much like I haven't looked at him in a long time but I'm yeah

1143
01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:06.180
I'm very familiar yep I'm pretty much like mostly like a D in an I and I think because

1144
01:07:06.180 --> 01:07:11.320
a word that was spoken over me when I was like 11 or 12 from a friend then was like

1145
01:07:11.320 --> 01:07:19.020
she told me that her mom and her aunt thought I was a B word female dog and I think for

1146
01:07:19.020 --> 01:07:25.440
many years I had carried that spirit of abandonment or rejection which I've healed from broken

1147
01:07:25.440 --> 01:07:31.140
free from but I feel like I've numbed out that deep personality in me to be more likable

1148
01:07:32.660 --> 01:07:37.460
but I know ultimately God's calming created me to have that D direct like that leader

1149
01:07:37.740 --> 01:07:45.180
take charge personality just for what God's called me to do as a pioneer um so with these

1150
01:07:45.180 --> 01:07:50.540
things kind of like just I think I've battled with the thing of like God's created me as

1151
01:07:50.540 --> 01:07:58.280
a leader take charge be direct but um I can be too too much for people so like for example

1152
01:07:58.720 --> 01:08:05.400
two years ago I surrendered all God told me to do this live in ministry program I started

1153
01:08:05.860 --> 01:08:11.620
work finances all these things to be all in on this program and when everybody else was

1154
01:08:11.620 --> 01:08:17.060
deployed lived in their own like they were all in as well but my team it was the ministry

1155
01:08:17.979 --> 01:08:24.939
director's daughter and niece and the ministry leader like nobody was doing it all in people

1156
01:08:24.939 --> 01:08:31.880
who had kids and were pregnant like so if I didn't step in and take charge and do things

1157
01:08:31.880 --> 01:08:36.840
things do not get done because everybody else all except for one woman that only spoke Spanish

1158
01:08:37.180 --> 01:08:40.880
and everybody else is just kind of doing it in their leisure and when they can't when

1159
01:08:40.880 --> 01:08:46.380
I was supposed to be all in so I think at the end of that I give gave all I could I

1160
01:08:46.380 --> 01:08:50.680
went all in and I saw and I even noticed at the beginning when I did all the grunt work

1161
01:08:50.680 --> 01:08:54.420
or not the grunt work like I did all this stuff to prepare for the night but then the

1162
01:08:54.420 --> 01:09:00.300
ministry director's kid and his cousin or niece just got to show up and do the more

1163
01:09:00.300 --> 01:09:04.460
desirable work I feel like that was something like I felt that injustice but I had to kind

1164
01:09:04.460 --> 01:09:10.279
of press it down because I couldn't really address it with him and at the end of it I

1165
01:09:10.279 --> 01:09:20.420
was labeled like a bully or like I offended a lot of people but it's like I again if there

1166
01:09:20.420 --> 01:09:25.380
was nobody else I was going to do all this like see to it that things wouldn't get done

1167
01:09:25.380 --> 01:09:30.200
because everybody else is just doing it part time so I think it's that past almost like

1168
01:09:30.500 --> 01:09:34.359
repeating that. Let me ask you a question I'm going to have you pause for a second let

1169
01:09:34.439 --> 01:09:42.880
me ask you a question so when is the first time that you found yourself doing something

1170
01:09:42.880 --> 01:09:47.779
similar to what you're saying there that other people weren't going to do it and so because

1171
01:09:47.779 --> 01:09:51.160
they weren't going to do it you had to do it because that's the verbiage you've been

1172
01:09:51.700 --> 01:09:58.940
using so when's the first time you like you recall doing that was it in that situation

1173
01:09:58.940 --> 01:09:59.980
or have you done that

1174
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.080
before in your life?

1175
01:10:01.900 --> 01:10:03.640
I think my mother had to go to school

1176
01:10:03.640 --> 01:10:05.060
or work a lot in the evenings.

1177
01:10:05.300 --> 01:10:06.920
So I kind of had to be like

1178
01:10:07.180 --> 01:10:09.820
the one watching the house for her.

1179
01:10:10.120 --> 01:10:12.000
Did you have to watch siblings as well?

1180
01:10:12.060 --> 01:10:13.340
Yeah, I had to watch siblings,

1181
01:10:15.140 --> 01:10:17.840
you know, take care of things.

1182
01:10:17.840 --> 01:10:18.360
And how old were you?

1183
01:10:18.420 --> 01:10:19.040
Oh gosh.

1184
01:10:22.600 --> 01:10:25.380
Maybe middle school, maybe 11 or 12.

1185
01:10:26.220 --> 01:10:27.560
Okay, so that's kind of young.

1186
01:10:28.280 --> 01:10:31.240
All right, so I think what's happening here

1187
01:10:31.240 --> 01:10:34.580
is that whatever responsibility was put on you

1188
01:10:34.580 --> 01:10:35.880
as a younger child,

1189
01:10:35.880 --> 01:10:39.000
that was beyond where you were actually at,

1190
01:10:39.420 --> 01:10:41.620
that you're like, you're walking that out

1191
01:10:41.620 --> 01:10:43.000
in these kinds of scenarios

1192
01:10:43.000 --> 01:10:44.420
because you kept saying the same,

1193
01:10:44.580 --> 01:10:46.720
another phrase, all in.

1194
01:10:47.120 --> 01:10:48.680
They, if I heard you correctly,

1195
01:10:48.700 --> 01:10:49.940
because sometimes I wasn't sure

1196
01:10:49.940 --> 01:10:51.140
if I was hearing you all the way,

1197
01:10:51.640 --> 01:10:54.160
is that they weren't going all in,

1198
01:10:54.680 --> 01:10:57.400
but you were willing to go all in.

1199
01:10:58.000 --> 01:10:59.480
And so it kind of goes back

1200
01:10:59.480 --> 01:11:00.660
to even my boundaries thing

1201
01:11:00.660 --> 01:11:01.700
that I was saying earlier.

1202
01:11:02.660 --> 01:11:04.540
Sometimes we see,

1203
01:11:04.840 --> 01:11:06.480
and you all, I'm a go-getter too.

1204
01:11:06.540 --> 01:11:09.160
And if I'm in an organization, in a company,

1205
01:11:09.220 --> 01:11:10.780
and I see something's got to get done,

1206
01:11:10.920 --> 01:11:12.480
I tend to want to jump in too,

1207
01:11:12.560 --> 01:11:13.540
but here's the reality.

1208
01:11:13.660 --> 01:11:16.520
At some point, there's only so much of me.

1209
01:11:16.900 --> 01:11:17.380
Yeah.

1210
01:11:18.300 --> 01:11:22.120
And just what if we don't pick that thing up

1211
01:11:22.120 --> 01:11:24.400
and we actually let the people

1212
01:11:24.400 --> 01:11:26.680
that are also running those organizations

1213
01:11:27.380 --> 01:11:29.440
feel the weight of what happens

1214
01:11:29.440 --> 01:11:31.620
when it's everybody's not carrying their weight

1215
01:11:31.620 --> 01:11:32.880
instead of us saying,

1216
01:11:32.940 --> 01:11:35.000
well, I gotta be the one to do it.

1217
01:11:35.140 --> 01:11:36.820
I gotta be the one to do it.

1218
01:11:36.920 --> 01:11:38.060
Does that make sense?

1219
01:11:38.520 --> 01:11:40.420
Yeah, it's that survival mode.

1220
01:11:40.580 --> 01:11:42.960
Yeah, because again, like,

1221
01:11:43.240 --> 01:11:44.520
and there's probably other areas,

1222
01:11:44.660 --> 01:11:46.500
but it sounds like,

1223
01:11:46.720 --> 01:11:48.720
and no, I'm not faulting your mom for it.

1224
01:11:48.720 --> 01:11:51.760
When you have certain situations,

1225
01:11:52.240 --> 01:11:54.020
moms are doing the best that they can.

1226
01:11:54.500 --> 01:11:56.900
And sometimes the kids are put in situations

1227
01:11:57.100 --> 01:11:59.940
beyond their age and beyond their responsibility.

1228
01:12:00.040 --> 01:12:01.320
And I know that you had some things

1229
01:12:01.320 --> 01:12:02.540
from when you shared before

1230
01:12:02.540 --> 01:12:05.860
that you had to overcome health-wise as well.

1231
01:12:06.460 --> 01:12:10.280
And so I just think that another thing that I heard

1232
01:12:10.380 --> 01:12:14.700
in my spirit as you were talking was overcompensation.

1233
01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:20.040
So I think what's happening,

1234
01:12:20.160 --> 01:12:22.520
I don't think you're doing it on purpose, Isatel.

1235
01:12:22.860 --> 01:12:26.320
I think that sometimes because of what you've been through,

1236
01:12:26.360 --> 01:12:30.100
that you're overcompensating to try to fit in

1237
01:12:30.100 --> 01:12:31.800
and try to show people that you care

1238
01:12:31.800 --> 01:12:33.280
and that you can do it.

1239
01:12:33.620 --> 01:12:34.580
You know, that you're,

1240
01:12:35.440 --> 01:12:37.760
the disabilities and the things that you've struggled with,

1241
01:12:37.760 --> 01:12:40.080
that they do not hold you back.

1242
01:12:40.480 --> 01:12:42.460
And, you know, some people are interpreting

1243
01:12:42.520 --> 01:12:44.300
in that in incorrect ways.

1244
01:12:44.300 --> 01:12:45.680
I don't think that's who you are.

1245
01:12:45.700 --> 01:12:46.720
I don't think you're a bully,

1246
01:12:47.440 --> 01:12:51.160
but it's kind of like you're standing in divine masculine

1247
01:12:51.300 --> 01:12:53.160
is what's happening there.

1248
01:12:53.840 --> 01:12:53.900
Okay?

1249
01:12:54.740 --> 01:12:55.040
Okay?

1250
01:12:55.040 --> 01:12:56.860
And the Lord, as you continue to heal,

1251
01:12:57.000 --> 01:12:59.200
you're gonna learn how to come out of that more and more.

1252
01:12:59.340 --> 01:13:03.360
You're gonna learn how to not take every bag upon yourself.

1253
01:13:03.420 --> 01:13:06.400
And I'm telling you as a fellow person, I'm serious.

1254
01:13:07.880 --> 01:13:09.660
If there's a bag sitting on the ground,

1255
01:13:09.800 --> 01:13:12.380
every new project, my husband, literally you all,

1256
01:13:12.520 --> 01:13:15.040
we're about to, we just merged with another church

1257
01:13:15.040 --> 01:13:16.760
and they're gonna be a second campus.

1258
01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:18.600
There's tons of work to do.

1259
01:13:19.320 --> 01:13:22.660
Do y'all know what already I'm having to like work on?

1260
01:13:23.440 --> 01:13:23.940
Okay.

1261
01:13:24.680 --> 01:13:26.560
That's not all of my job.

1262
01:13:27.440 --> 01:13:27.960
Okay?

1263
01:13:28.760 --> 01:13:31.220
It's something we all have to practice.

1264
01:13:33.440 --> 01:13:37.200
Yes, I did say that sometimes from what it sounds like,

1265
01:13:37.200 --> 01:13:38.900
she's standing in divine masculine.

1266
01:13:39.520 --> 01:13:41.480
Y'all will learn more about what divine masculine

1267
01:13:41.480 --> 01:13:45.200
and divine feminine are in the next phase of the program

1268
01:13:45.200 --> 01:13:49.500
if you continue in the program in Love Story Accelerator.

1269
01:13:50.120 --> 01:13:50.120


1270
01:13:51.060 --> 01:13:55.160
But basically the quick version tonight is that,

1271
01:13:56.740 --> 01:13:59.000
I'm sorry, she's not standing in divine masculine,

1272
01:13:59.160 --> 01:14:00.460
she's standing in the masculine.

1273
01:14:00.820 --> 01:14:02.320
I'm saying it kind of wrong there.

1274
01:14:02.860 --> 01:14:05.940
Basically she's not standing in the divine feminine,

1275
01:14:06.120 --> 01:14:09.060
but she's overcompensating and it's showing up

1276
01:14:09.060 --> 01:14:13.320
as kind of tough and kind of almost take charge manly

1277
01:14:13.320 --> 01:14:15.400
in a sense, because it's like,

1278
01:14:15.580 --> 01:14:17.700
there's just something that's different

1279
01:14:17.700 --> 01:14:19.320
when we're not in our divine feminine,

1280
01:14:19.540 --> 01:14:23.060
when we're not, like we can be massive, amazing leaders,

1281
01:14:23.620 --> 01:14:27.820
but inside be soft and not abrasive.

1282
01:14:29.300 --> 01:14:31.920
And that kind of like, okay guys, you're not doing it.

1283
01:14:32.340 --> 01:14:33.340
Like what's going on?

1284
01:14:33.420 --> 01:14:36.540
And we take charge in situations

1285
01:14:36.540 --> 01:14:38.320
that we're not called to take charge in.

1286
01:14:39.060 --> 01:14:41.760
And if the grace is on us, you all,

1287
01:14:41.880 --> 01:14:43.800
people are gonna see us differently in a situation.

1288
01:14:44.320 --> 01:14:47.760
So for example, God's grace is on me in this movement.

1289
01:14:48.120 --> 01:14:50.180
God has given me a lot of favor to lead

1290
01:14:50.180 --> 01:14:52.420
in incredible ways in this community.

1291
01:14:52.660 --> 01:14:55.620
And last year single, I'm super grateful for that.

1292
01:14:55.620 --> 01:14:57.780
But I also understand God has given me

1293
01:14:57.780 --> 01:14:59.300
the grace to do it here.

1294
01:15:00.900 --> 01:15:06.420
Okay, so sometimes we go into situations and we're doing some of that stuff and we just God hasn't

1295
01:15:06.420 --> 01:15:13.600
given us the grace to do it. Okay, so we're praying for you. I'm really glad that you shared this.

1296
01:15:13.700 --> 01:15:20.640
You are, when they called you, I, again, I couldn't tell, but whatever bad name they called you,

1297
01:15:20.940 --> 01:15:25.320
that's not, that's not who you are. And that doesn't have to define you.

1298
01:15:25.700 --> 01:15:29.660
I want to encourage you to forgive them. So I want to encourage you to write forgiveness prayer

1299
01:15:29.660 --> 01:15:33.520
sheets for them. And I want to encourage you to write forgiveness, prayer sheets about this

1300
01:15:33.620 --> 01:15:41.340
situation and forgive anybody that hurt you in that situation. Okay. And maybe even if, and again,

1301
01:15:41.340 --> 01:15:45.280
I don't know if this applies to you, but maybe even you might have to do a forgiveness prayer

1302
01:15:45.280 --> 01:15:51.520
sheet to forgive yourself. I'm not sure, but just be open to that. Okay. Yeah, I think that kind of

1303
01:15:51.960 --> 01:15:55.500
helped unravel because it's just this thing. I feel like I've been working against you're like

1304
01:15:55.500 --> 01:16:02.800
trying to heal, work through with part of what God's created me to do, but yet in the right

1305
01:16:05.280 --> 01:16:11.380
feminine spirit or feminine. Yeah. Where I have the grace for that. So yeah. Thank you.

1306
01:16:11.380 --> 01:16:16.600
You're welcome. You're welcome. And it'll get, it'll get easier. I promise. Okay. Just keep

1307
01:16:16.600 --> 01:16:21.740
doing what God is showing you to do. Keep partnering with, you know you're coming out

1308
01:16:21.740 --> 01:16:27.900
of alignment. Remember with, um, independence. Yeah. Or thank you that you're helping me come

1309
01:16:27.900 --> 01:16:33.840
into alignment with interdependence on you. God, I'm depending on you to take care of these

1310
01:16:35.000 --> 01:16:40.040
situations and that I can, I can rest in this situation and I don't got to pick everybody

1311
01:16:40.240 --> 01:16:48.420
else's bags up and carry them. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Amen. You're welcome. So proud of you.

1312
01:16:48.420 --> 01:16:54.800
All right, Shelly, go ahead. Gail, I'm coming to you next since we didn't get you in this afternoon.

1313
01:16:54.900 --> 01:17:07.800
Okay. Go ahead, Shelly. Okay. Here we are. There I am. Hi. So I got to speak with you last week

1314
01:17:07.800 --> 01:17:13.280
and I wanted to let you know that on last Monday's call, when you had mentioned how, um,

1315
01:17:13.280 --> 01:17:17.420
the ocean is spinning, like on the cartoons or whatever, the little kid show.

1316
01:17:17.420 --> 01:17:23.660
Yeah. Um, and that you were standing in the middle on ground and that God was covering you

1317
01:17:23.660 --> 01:17:29.600
and protecting you. Yes. I vaguely, sometimes I say things in the spirit and I don't even remember.

1318
01:17:29.740 --> 01:17:35.300
So thank you for reminding me. Well, so I remembered that, but here's the thing. So on Wednesday,

1319
01:17:35.400 --> 01:17:42.380
I went to my Bible study and, um, at the very end, I don't know why, because this is a new Bible

1320
01:17:42.380 --> 01:17:47.460
group for me. I think this is my third time attending anyway. She was going to close in

1321
01:17:47.460 --> 01:17:53.380
prayer and she goes, um, and Shelly, I'd like to play praise for your kids. And I was like,

1322
01:17:54.180 --> 01:17:58.500
oh, and I'm thinking I'm sitting next to my friend and I'm thinking, okay, did I say something to

1323
01:17:58.500 --> 01:18:01.820
her? Did I say something about my kids? Like what's going on here? Like, where's this coming

1324
01:18:01.640 --> 01:18:06.940
from? So, um, this other lady asked that lady, you know, what, why, why are you bringing this

1325
01:18:06.940 --> 01:18:12.040
up? Like, why would you single her out? That sort of thing. Um, in a nice way, just kind of asking,

1326
01:18:12.040 --> 01:18:18.700
but anyway, so I don't remember what I said about my kids or whatever. Um, I'm going to fast forward

1327
01:18:18.700 --> 01:18:24.180
though, because it worked. That was really a heartfelt, I could go on and on about that,

1328
01:18:24.300 --> 01:18:29.360
but where I'm going with this is that at the very end, that same lady, she goes, um, Shelly,

1329
01:18:29.500 --> 01:18:34.640
it's like a hurricane. She's talking about hurricane. And I don't know what she said

1330
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:40.760
about the hurricane, because after that, I'm thinking of what you said about the ocean swirling,

1331
01:18:40.760 --> 01:18:46.120
and so here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that God is basically saying, you know, this,

1332
01:18:46.180 --> 01:18:53.600
I'm in this chaotic world right now. Um, it's just going around me and with all this chaos,

1333
01:18:54.160 --> 01:18:59.680
God's got this and, um, he's going to protect me. He's going to see me through no matter what it

1334
01:18:59.680 --> 01:19:05.840
looks like, you know? Um, but it was just, it was an awesome thing because it was like confirmation,

1335
01:19:05.840 --> 01:19:11.340
right? Two days later. Okay. And then you won't believe this, but then today, tonight,

1336
01:19:11.340 --> 01:19:16.000
you know what you were saying? You're talking about pool. Oh my gosh. I didn't even think

1337
01:19:16.000 --> 01:19:21.800
about that. So you said, and you pick up the momentum going around, okay. Around, except on

1338
01:19:21.800 --> 01:19:33.260
this one, you said, um, how did you put it? Basically lean into it, create momentum, um,

1339
01:19:33.260 --> 01:19:39.200
and believe that God will work on your behalf. And here, I mean, it's just like all coming

1340
01:19:39.100 --> 01:19:43.800
together. Okay. So back to what you're really asking. I just had, I love that though. No,

1341
01:19:43.800 --> 01:19:50.460
I appreciate you sharing. Um, so I feel like a survivor. I don't feel like I'm a victim. Um,

1342
01:19:50.460 --> 01:19:57.160
I think if anything, I see people for their good, meaning that if something bad happens to me, I,

1343
01:19:57.640 --> 01:19:59.340
I feel like there's gotta be a reason why.

1344
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.940
And I try not to take it personally.

1345
01:20:04.420 --> 01:20:10.060
I will say that at work, I have experienced some, it just seems like I'm the one that's

1346
01:20:10.060 --> 01:20:10.880
singled out.

1347
01:20:10.940 --> 01:20:11.800
Now, I don't know.

1348
01:20:11.880 --> 01:20:14.020
I'm also called positive Patty at work.

1349
01:20:14.120 --> 01:20:19.440
So I don't know if people just have, I don't know, but there's just this one individual,

1350
01:20:19.680 --> 01:20:22.880
I think we're both strong headed or whatever.

1351
01:20:23.240 --> 01:20:29.680
But I wouldn't say that, because I do feel like I've forgiven her on her behavior, how

1352
01:20:29.680 --> 01:20:33.760
she treats me sometimes, because when she's not in that kind of a mood, I get along great

1353
01:20:33.760 --> 01:20:34.240
with her.

1354
01:20:35.100 --> 01:20:42.260
So I almost think it's like, I don't know if it's like a demonic spirit, or I just don't

1355
01:20:42.260 --> 01:20:44.640
think it's her if this makes any sense whatsoever.

1356
01:20:45.160 --> 01:20:46.040
Who does she?

1357
01:20:46.120 --> 01:20:50.940
I literally, I'm not kidding you, I just wrote on my paper, who does she remind you of?

1358
01:20:52.480 --> 01:20:54.160
Who does this woman remind you of?

1359
01:20:54.160 --> 01:20:58.880
Is there anyone that you know, or have known in your life, where you're just kind of like,

1360
01:20:58.880 --> 01:21:01.780
Oh, and you might not even know tonight, it's okay.

1361
01:21:02.900 --> 01:21:04.340
I'll think about it, though.

1362
01:21:04.680 --> 01:21:08.740
I have a feeling that this is a familiar spirit showing up.

1363
01:21:10.140 --> 01:21:12.040
Do you know what a familiar spirit is?

1364
01:21:12.460 --> 01:21:14.840
It means that it's shown up before.

1365
01:21:15.420 --> 01:21:20.760
And then the enemy sends it back to try to do what is was sent for on the first time

1366
01:21:20.760 --> 01:21:23.700
that it didn't accomplish what it was sent to do.

1367
01:21:24.180 --> 01:21:24.380
Interesting.

1368
01:21:24.380 --> 01:21:27.280
I got goosebumps right now.

1369
01:21:27.400 --> 01:21:29.280
I don't know why, but I got goosebumps.

1370
01:21:29.920 --> 01:21:35.820
But I, a familiar spirit, you're saying that basically, they, somebody or a spirit that

1371
01:21:35.820 --> 01:21:40.600
tried to get to me, but that has not and so they're trying to come back.

1372
01:21:40.600 --> 01:21:41.060
Yeah.

1373
01:21:41.060 --> 01:21:45.000
So let's talk about this lady you've struggled with at work, even though you're fine now,

1374
01:21:45.000 --> 01:21:46.280
or you've worked through things.

1375
01:21:46.740 --> 01:21:48.480
How does she normally show up?

1376
01:21:48.480 --> 01:21:50.500
Like what is like when y'all aren't getting along?

1377
01:21:50.580 --> 01:21:52.020
Is she domineering?

1378
01:21:52.620 --> 01:21:54.040
Is she angry?

1379
01:21:54.040 --> 01:21:56.160
It's like, what is what's going on there?

1380
01:21:56.700 --> 01:21:58.080
She's not angry.

1381
01:21:59.040 --> 01:22:00.200
She's dismissive.

1382
01:22:00.440 --> 01:22:08.000
If I come up with ideas, so her and I are basically the veterans, all the other accountants

1383
01:22:08.000 --> 01:22:13.360
in that company have left and we were like the two veterans that are left and say we've

1384
01:22:13.360 --> 01:22:21.180
trained others and we've got a new software system and I will say that whenever I bring

1385
01:22:21.180 --> 01:22:23.880
up an idea, she just dismisses it.

1386
01:22:23.880 --> 01:22:31.620
So I've tried to go to her first just to kind of work it through so that it looks, you know,

1387
01:22:31.620 --> 01:22:40.380
so I am including her, but I feel like she doesn't, she, she wants to be that one on

1388
01:22:40.380 --> 01:22:40.860
top.

1389
01:22:42.840 --> 01:22:46.540
And so she, she's dismissive.

1390
01:22:46.540 --> 01:22:47.680
We know that for sure.

1391
01:22:48.300 --> 01:22:54.520
And she really strives for going up the ladder.

1392
01:22:55.100 --> 01:22:59.160
Do you have a grandmother that was dismissive?

1393
01:23:10.580 --> 01:23:13.920
And it could have been to you or your mother.

1394
01:23:16.540 --> 01:23:24.120
I know, so I have two grandmothers and the one grandmother, they're both Christians.

1395
01:23:24.140 --> 01:23:28.240
I'm going to say one is really was loving and they were my favorite.

1396
01:23:30.060 --> 01:23:33.540
Not sure if you're supposed to say that or not, but it's OK.

1397
01:23:35.460 --> 01:23:39.620
My other grandmother, she was a hard worker.

1398
01:23:41.240 --> 01:23:43.660
Hmm. So there's a similarity.

1399
01:23:44.300 --> 01:23:45.820
OK, that's she is a hard worker.

1400
01:23:45.820 --> 01:23:47.260
She was a go getter.

1401
01:23:48.820 --> 01:23:51.720
She. She was never mean to me.

1402
01:23:52.100 --> 01:23:53.100
That's OK.

1403
01:23:59.900 --> 01:24:05.560
I. It's all right, we'll ask the Lord, so I just want you to kind of be curious about

1404
01:24:05.560 --> 01:24:09.960
this a little bit, and it could have been even your dad's grandparents or your mom's

1405
01:24:09.960 --> 01:24:13.160
grandparents, so you don't have to go digging this up.

1406
01:24:13.160 --> 01:24:14.380
Just keep asking the Lord.

1407
01:24:14.380 --> 01:24:17.840
I just literally heard the Lord say, ask her about her grandmother.

1408
01:24:17.980 --> 01:24:20.760
So I just always trust the Lord, y'all, even if it doesn't pan out.

1409
01:24:20.760 --> 01:24:23.960
I'm OK with just asking and trusting him with whatever.

1410
01:24:25.040 --> 01:24:29.300
And then it's up to him to get to you what you need, if that is what's going on there.

1411
01:24:29.720 --> 01:24:37.720
And so. I just want to encourage you to ask, you know, and do you have a good enough

1412
01:24:37.720 --> 01:24:41.420
relationship with your mom to ask her how her relationship was with her mom when she

1413
01:24:41.420 --> 01:24:45.760
was younger? Actually, my mom, no, she's no longer with us.

1414
01:24:45.760 --> 01:24:51.040
I will say that she's she had a wonderful relationship with her mom, and that was my

1415
01:24:51.040 --> 01:24:57.880
favorite grandmother. My mother was the glue in the family and that she passed in

1416
01:24:58.140 --> 01:24:59.980
2014, but she.

1417
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.980
He, everybody loved her.

1418
01:25:03.000 --> 01:25:05.880
Anybody that came in contact with her and loved her, she, um, got

1419
01:25:05.880 --> 01:25:07.500
along great with her own mother.

1420
01:25:07.820 --> 01:25:10.620
Um, it was that it was my mom's side of the family that I

1421
01:25:10.620 --> 01:25:11.940
got along really well with.

1422
01:25:11.940 --> 01:25:15.520
They were that loving Christian family, I guess.

1423
01:25:15.760 --> 01:25:20.100
And so, um, my grandmother did pass that my mom's mom passed

1424
01:25:20.100 --> 01:25:22.660
then later, um, about nine years later.

1425
01:25:22.840 --> 01:25:27.360
But what's interesting is that I remember my mom talking about my dad's

1426
01:25:27.390 --> 01:25:34.190
mom and her saying she, she would not talk bad about her.

1427
01:25:34.230 --> 01:25:34.450
Okay.

1428
01:25:34.730 --> 01:25:37.830
So we got to make sure, cause my mom wouldn't talk bad about anybody.

1429
01:25:37.870 --> 01:25:38.850
She was just warning me.

1430
01:25:38.870 --> 01:25:43.990
She was just letting me know, um, just be careful what you say around

1431
01:25:44.170 --> 01:25:48.450
your grandmother and because of the way that she takes it.

1432
01:25:48.510 --> 01:25:51.850
So she may not, she may act one way in front of me, but then

1433
01:25:51.850 --> 01:25:54.810
act another way away from me.

1434
01:25:54.810 --> 01:25:59.550
But yet, like I said, my grandmother was never like mean to me.

1435
01:26:00.030 --> 01:26:00.030


1436
01:26:00.750 --> 01:26:04.110
I think that there just might be something to be discovered there.

1437
01:26:04.210 --> 01:26:05.510
And it might not be outright.

1438
01:26:05.770 --> 01:26:09.110
So, you know, a lot of times we think of dismissive as people being,

1439
01:26:09.310 --> 01:26:13.530
cause if someone else has been outright, like dismissive of us, we think

1440
01:26:13.530 --> 01:26:16.990
that's how dismissive always shows up, but dismissive shows up

1441
01:26:16.990 --> 01:26:18.210
in a lot of different ways.

1442
01:26:18.250 --> 01:26:21.610
And so again, this is just asking God some really good questions.

1443
01:26:21.850 --> 01:26:23.610
Let's see where this might lead.

1444
01:26:23.610 --> 01:26:27.130
I feel like you started talking about this tonight for a purpose.

1445
01:26:27.690 --> 01:26:31.950
It's, it is this woman at work, but there's other things at play here.

1446
01:26:32.250 --> 01:26:33.870
Uh, I really believe that.

1447
01:26:33.870 --> 01:26:37.470
And so whether it's your grandmother or not, we're just going to ask the Lord

1448
01:26:37.470 --> 01:26:38.550
and see what he shows us.

1449
01:26:38.550 --> 01:26:40.910
And he says, no, Hey, it's not your grandma's whatever.

1450
01:26:41.110 --> 01:26:41.930
That's totally fine.

1451
01:26:43.210 --> 01:26:47.990
Um, but I don't think it's a coincidence that your mom kind of

1452
01:26:48.150 --> 01:26:49.770
cautioned you about that grandma.

1453
01:26:51.790 --> 01:26:56.630
So let's just see what, what might come up as you seek the Lord about that.

1454
01:26:57.290 --> 01:27:01.550
Um, and then definitely, even though you've already forgiven that woman at work,

1455
01:27:01.550 --> 01:27:04.670
I would just encourage you to do a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding her.

1456
01:27:04.990 --> 01:27:08.450
And as you pray to forgive her, there might be even other dots

1457
01:27:08.450 --> 01:27:09.730
that are connected for you.

1458
01:27:10.070 --> 01:27:11.250
That sounds good.

1459
01:27:11.250 --> 01:27:12.870
I do have one more question though.

1460
01:27:12.890 --> 01:27:19.570
If I, I think it's very important to forgive and I don't, um, dislike anybody.

1461
01:27:19.570 --> 01:27:21.410
Cause like I said, I think that there's a reason for everything.

1462
01:27:21.530 --> 01:27:25.990
One thing I want to ask is that my uncle who's, um, which is my mom's brother.

1463
01:27:26.350 --> 01:27:26.750
Okay.

1464
01:27:26.750 --> 01:27:31.170
My mom's brother, he was a sweetheart and everything else to me, but his, his

1465
01:27:31.070 --> 01:27:35.170
mother, which is my mom's mother, my grandmother, the one that I absolutely

1466
01:27:35.170 --> 01:27:40.130
loved and adored, um, no one thought that he took good care of her and

1467
01:27:40.130 --> 01:27:41.850
he was out mainly for her money.

1468
01:27:42.550 --> 01:27:42.950
Okay.

1469
01:27:44.070 --> 01:27:46.890
And me and my brother ended up getting my mom's portion.

1470
01:27:47.250 --> 01:27:48.790
He didn't, he didn't like that at all.

1471
01:27:48.790 --> 01:27:53.310
Here's where I'm going with this is that I forgive him for the way that he was

1472
01:27:53.310 --> 01:27:58.070
towards my grandmother and that whole thing during her last days, but yet I

1473
01:27:58.070 --> 01:28:01.690
don't want to have really anything to do with him, meaning he has called me.

1474
01:28:01.790 --> 01:28:03.430
Um, but he has not left messages.

1475
01:28:03.590 --> 01:28:04.590
He's not texted me.

1476
01:28:04.690 --> 01:28:10.290
And my thoughts are, is that he's, um, if he really needed something, he would text

1477
01:28:10.290 --> 01:28:15.210
it to me, but I have a feeling he's wanting, he's wanting money from me.

1478
01:28:15.210 --> 01:28:18.930
Now, with that being said, here's where I'm going with the forgiveness.

1479
01:28:19.230 --> 01:28:24.710
Even though I have forgiven him, I feel like I don't want to necessarily

1480
01:28:24.730 --> 01:28:26.330
associate with him unless he.

1481
01:28:27.810 --> 01:28:32.290
It's like a demonic deal, meaning that he used to do everything for me, love me.

1482
01:28:32.410 --> 01:28:36.090
And when, um, it was my birthday, he'd make me cheesecakes, you know, but

1483
01:28:36.090 --> 01:28:37.150
now it's a different thing.

1484
01:28:37.150 --> 01:28:38.690
He's like, it's switched gears.

1485
01:28:38.770 --> 01:28:42.130
It's like, it's got, something's got a hold of him.

1486
01:28:42.130 --> 01:28:43.930
Well, so, okay.

1487
01:28:43.930 --> 01:28:48.090
So this is important while you're talking about you all, it's really

1488
01:28:48.150 --> 01:28:52.310
important for all of you to know, just because you forgive someone doesn't

1489
01:28:52.310 --> 01:28:55.650
mean you have to like do life with them.

1490
01:28:56.050 --> 01:29:00.090
Now, I do want to encourage all of you to be praying about this though.

1491
01:29:00.410 --> 01:29:02.250
What is the Lord saying to you?

1492
01:29:02.410 --> 01:29:05.950
So, you know, Shelly, if the Lord is saying to you, it's okay for you to have

1493
01:29:05.950 --> 01:29:10.690
these safe boundaries, you know, because of where he's at, you know, it sounds

1494
01:29:10.690 --> 01:29:15.990
like maybe he's just living into some unhealthy places and spaces right now.

1495
01:29:17.110 --> 01:29:21.890
Um, so that's probably God's wisdom showing you to have, you know, space and

1496
01:29:21.890 --> 01:29:24.930
not to be around him and associate with him a lot right now.

1497
01:29:25.290 --> 01:29:29.410
Um, but for some of you others, you know, as you're praying about these things,

1498
01:29:29.410 --> 01:29:32.830
sometimes we just push people away just because it was, you know, it was hurtful.

1499
01:29:33.170 --> 01:29:37.950
And it is sometimes in a sense, easier to just push them away, but that might

1500
01:29:37.950 --> 01:29:39.610
not be what God is asking you to do.

1501
01:29:39.610 --> 01:29:40.110
Okay.

1502
01:29:40.130 --> 01:29:44.350
Now, if they're super toxic and as someone that you've dated before and

1503
01:29:44.350 --> 01:29:46.210
y'all, that thing has never changed.

1504
01:29:46.930 --> 01:29:48.730
You don't need to get back into that.

1505
01:29:49.090 --> 01:29:49.410
Okay.

1506
01:29:49.410 --> 01:29:54.430
I'm talking more about family, friends right now, you know, people that maybe

1507
01:29:54.430 --> 01:29:59.330
we need to forgive and see if God wants to bring reconciliation, but the key in

1508
01:29:59.330 --> 01:29:59.690
reconciliation.

1509
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.040
Is both people have to be ready and able and willing to reconcile? Okay. All right

1510
01:30:07.040 --> 01:30:13.060
I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't like deceiving myself because even okay. No, you're not

1511
01:30:13.060 --> 01:30:19.940
I think it's wisdom from what you're sharing. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing Gail. Go ahead

1512
01:30:21.520 --> 01:30:28.800
Thank you, I just want to tell you Bethany that you were a hundred percent correct on the afternoon call

1513
01:30:31.520 --> 01:30:32.360
I

1514
01:30:32.360 --> 01:30:37.840
Knew something was going to happen with connection ahead of time. I actually prayed before I got on

1515
01:30:42.080 --> 01:30:42.920
I

1516
01:30:43.080 --> 01:30:51.020
Am part of the counseling ministry in my church and I lead a 29 week

1517
01:30:53.580 --> 01:30:55.860
Healing course for

1518
01:30:56.680 --> 01:30:57.020
women

1519
01:30:57.900 --> 01:31:00.200
And that's true, you know, that's

1520
01:31:00.200 --> 01:31:01.520
internationally actually

1521
01:31:02.300 --> 01:31:07.220
and I also I was headed out afterwards to

1522
01:31:08.240 --> 01:31:10.540
lead a the women's

1523
01:31:12.120 --> 01:31:18.980
Christian 12-step program, so I'm being general. Okay, so I've been in the fire

1524
01:31:21.820 --> 01:31:24.820
Especially this time of year before I start the

1525
01:31:27.200 --> 01:31:33.560
Healing from trauma classes in September, I always have a

1526
01:31:33.780 --> 01:31:35.140
lot of

1527
01:31:35.140 --> 01:31:36.280
the enemy's

1528
01:31:36.400 --> 01:31:42.120
Disruptions. So you were I I you you knew ahead of time and that's what happened

1529
01:31:42.120 --> 01:31:47.660
I don't know. I my internet just froze. So I had two quick questions and then actually I

1530
01:31:48.520 --> 01:31:54.560
Think maybe even God used this for good because it's something more serious came up

1531
01:31:54.560 --> 01:31:59.480
Since then but I wanted to ask you you were talking about the tethering and unforgiveness

1532
01:32:00.980 --> 01:32:04.580
Is that the same as many people call a soul tie?

1533
01:32:06.160 --> 01:32:08.800
It kind of works similar. Yep

1534
01:32:09.040 --> 01:32:14.960
And so, you know, we have to break the soul ties. That's why we lead you all through that here in the heart work as well

1535
01:32:15.920 --> 01:32:23.920
but genuinely like, you know, we're bound to the the people and the things that we don't forgive and so

1536
01:32:23.920 --> 01:32:26.180
it's it's

1537
01:32:26.180 --> 01:32:32.900
It's kind of like just like it's tied to them. So yeah, so that's where I think the soul ties comes into play there as well

1538
01:32:32.900 --> 01:32:37.420
And soul ties isn't just sex sexual related a lot of churches and you know

1539
01:32:37.420 --> 01:32:43.020
People think that's all it really is and that's how all they really talk about but it's so much more than that

1540
01:32:43.020 --> 01:32:48.940
You know people can have soul ties with pets. They can have soul ties with you know, people that have passed on

1541
01:32:48.940 --> 01:32:53.840
I mean, it's just it's really mind-blowing as y'all start to listen to that session

1542
01:32:53.920 --> 01:32:58.380
The different ways that we can be connected to people in situations in our souls. Yeah

1543
01:32:59.140 --> 01:33:06.680
Okay, and then the second question which I was trying to ask is I've gone many many times through different

1544
01:33:07.320 --> 01:33:08.000
forgiveness

1545
01:33:08.960 --> 01:33:12.440
Things I I do believe you have to

1546
01:33:13.560 --> 01:33:16.440
Go detailed each person. Yeah

1547
01:33:17.040 --> 01:33:21.100
Detailed but not to the extent and I was going to ask you

1548
01:33:21.940 --> 01:33:24.780
For example my second husband

1549
01:33:26.180 --> 01:33:28.680
Lied to me

1550
01:33:29.140 --> 01:33:37.060
Weekly and we were almost married about ten years. I said husband but ex-husband. I'm trying to get used to that

1551
01:33:38.760 --> 01:33:39.520
But

1552
01:33:41.140 --> 01:33:47.580
So I can't really remember every lie so I can't list them and I actually I

1553
01:33:48.420 --> 01:33:54.540
Actually made the choice to forgive him and pray and I do pray for him blessings on him now

1554
01:33:55.540 --> 01:33:59.160
And our divorce was finalized the end of last month

1555
01:34:00.200 --> 01:34:04.300
So but it was a long time and working through the courts

1556
01:34:07.260 --> 01:34:09.460
So my question was

1557
01:34:10.520 --> 01:34:12.460
If I mean that would like be

1558
01:34:13.180 --> 01:34:20.580
300 sheets of paper for every single lie and that's just talking about the line. So I didn't know what extent you yeah

1559
01:34:20.580 --> 01:34:25.180
You don't have to necessarily label every single lie ever told to you

1560
01:34:25.180 --> 01:34:32.480
But you can let's as you all are doing the forgiveness prayer sheets. I think what's really key here is asking the Lord

1561
01:34:32.820 --> 01:34:35.380
what do I need to forgive them for and

1562
01:34:36.940 --> 01:34:40.840
Then following what the Holy Spirit is showing you and writing that on your paper

1563
01:34:40.840 --> 01:34:44.440
The biggest thing is that some people are very general though

1564
01:34:44.500 --> 01:34:52.200
Okay, so they might just say, you know, and I'm not saying it's not enough to just I forgive him for lying to me

1565
01:34:52.700 --> 01:34:55.480
but if there was a time where

1566
01:34:55.940 --> 01:34:58.360
Even though he lied a lot in ten years

1567
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.480
If there was a time that was more hurtful,

1568
01:35:05.160 --> 01:35:07.440
that felt like it broke you more,

1569
01:35:08.180 --> 01:35:09.320
maybe the first time,

1570
01:35:09.480 --> 01:35:11.640
maybe there was a bigger situation that was unveiled.

1571
01:35:11.940 --> 01:35:14.480
I don't know. But I would encourage you to

1572
01:35:19.340 --> 01:35:23.300
really write that one out on the forgiveness prayer sheet.

1573
01:35:23.460 --> 01:35:25.120
I think that is where you start.

1574
01:35:26.580 --> 01:35:29.260
Because I think the key here too is that

1575
01:35:29.260 --> 01:35:32.620
when someone lies that many times for that many years,

1576
01:35:33.340 --> 01:35:36.420
we become callous and numb.

1577
01:35:36.540 --> 01:35:38.000
Even though it still hurts us,

1578
01:35:38.760 --> 01:35:41.280
we become walled off to that.

1579
01:35:41.340 --> 01:35:43.320
It's just like this is the normal behavior.

1580
01:35:43.820 --> 01:35:45.260
But where did it start?

1581
01:35:46.280 --> 01:35:49.320
How did you feel when the first time he lied?

1582
01:35:49.700 --> 01:35:53.380
Trying to remember back then and

1583
01:35:53.380 --> 01:35:56.740
allowing Gail all those years ago to be healed.

1584
01:35:57.840 --> 01:36:02.220
Then whatever else the Lord shows you along the way,

1585
01:36:02.680 --> 01:36:04.120
if there were other,

1586
01:36:04.460 --> 01:36:06.420
dare I say, significant lies.

1587
01:36:06.480 --> 01:36:07.740
They're all significant.

1588
01:36:08.000 --> 01:36:10.980
I'm not trying to say that they don't all matter.

1589
01:36:11.280 --> 01:36:13.100
But you don't have to list out everyone.

1590
01:36:13.200 --> 01:36:14.940
But I do think that as you pray,

1591
01:36:15.100 --> 01:36:18.940
God's going to show you specific times that you need to

1592
01:36:18.940 --> 01:36:20.480
forgive him for lying or

1593
01:36:20.480 --> 01:36:23.280
any other things that came up that were hurtful in the marriage.

1594
01:36:24.280 --> 01:36:28.240
Okay. I guess the biggie here that came up after,

1595
01:36:28.440 --> 01:36:31.100
and I think that's what the interruption was for,

1596
01:36:33.520 --> 01:36:36.560
is this session when we did breakout,

1597
01:36:36.820 --> 01:36:43.300
I realized that I was needing to forgive myself.

1598
01:36:43.380 --> 01:36:45.340
I have forgiven myself for a lot of things.

1599
01:36:45.960 --> 01:36:49.260
But basically, and I'm just going to tell you this quickly,

1600
01:36:49.260 --> 01:36:51.860
I was married for 40 years,

1601
01:36:52.260 --> 01:36:54.360
four zero years to it.

1602
01:36:54.720 --> 01:36:57.140
I know narcissistic qualities,

1603
01:36:57.520 --> 01:37:00.780
but overtly, severe abuse.

1604
01:37:02.120 --> 01:37:04.840
Living in a barn in the middle of winter up in upstate New York,

1605
01:37:04.900 --> 01:37:09.580
I was forced to, so severe abuse by my first husband.

1606
01:37:11.340 --> 01:37:17.220
It took the counselor eight years to get me to divorce him.

1607
01:37:17.980 --> 01:37:22.540
I immediately rebounded into

1608
01:37:22.780 --> 01:37:30.220
a second marriage with a covert narcissistic type person.

1609
01:37:30.920 --> 01:37:32.740
It's not even funny.

1610
01:37:32.880 --> 01:37:34.840
I'm 72 years old.

1611
01:37:36.640 --> 01:37:43.820
I guess my biggest drawback to forgive myself is a feel,

1612
01:37:43.820 --> 01:37:46.700
it wasn't until 2023.

1613
01:37:47.560 --> 01:37:51.600
This was two years ago that I realized.

1614
01:37:52.480 --> 01:37:57.200
Now, I've been leading these classes I talked to you about since 2017.

1615
01:37:58.120 --> 01:38:01.300
It wasn't to talk about coming off of layers like an onion.

1616
01:38:01.660 --> 01:38:07.380
I realized I was like a big-time codependent enabler.

1617
01:38:08.680 --> 01:38:10.660
That was a label I was given.

1618
01:38:10.660 --> 01:38:15.940
I'm surviving, a survivor of codependency.

1619
01:38:16.200 --> 01:38:18.660
But it all came,

1620
01:38:18.780 --> 01:38:19.820
and I'm just going to tell you,

1621
01:38:20.380 --> 01:38:24.560
it came from mother issues, emotionally unavailable.

1622
01:38:24.740 --> 01:38:26.560
I basically married my mother twice.

1623
01:38:27.240 --> 01:38:32.000
I have separation anxiety, attachment,

1624
01:38:32.180 --> 01:38:34.580
not attachment, but anxious attachment.

1625
01:38:36.540 --> 01:38:38.760
My question is to you,

1626
01:38:38.960 --> 01:38:42.700
I had a, and I don't know if I should.

1627
01:38:44.060 --> 01:38:45.480
Jackie, in her testimony,

1628
01:38:46.020 --> 01:38:50.380
several times mentioned being in what I call agoraphobic.

1629
01:38:51.840 --> 01:38:59.340
I have never met anyone that has been,

1630
01:38:59.340 --> 01:39:05.140
but I spent 15 years in my first marriage in a state of agoraphobia

1631
01:39:05.140 --> 01:39:06.820
where I was homebound.

1632
01:39:09.080 --> 01:39:18.140
I am really feeling like what I'm dealing with now is regrets or shame

1633
01:39:20.420 --> 01:39:24.180
of wasting most of my adult life.

1634
01:39:29.900 --> 01:39:30.460
Yeah.

1635
01:39:31.240 --> 01:39:36.260
So what's your, what was your question?

1636
01:39:36.380 --> 01:39:38.320
I don't know if I understood the question.

1637
01:39:38.620 --> 01:39:47.340
How do I reconcile with myself the fact that I allowed myself,

1638
01:39:47.540 --> 01:39:50.660
even though I didn't know what I didn't know, basically,

1639
01:39:51.420 --> 01:39:52.620
didn't know about red flags,

1640
01:39:52.760 --> 01:39:55.100
didn't know about codependency until two years ago.

1641
01:39:55.120 --> 01:39:56.300
So are you saying how do you forgive yourself?

1642
01:39:56.300 --> 01:39:56.900
Yes.

1643
01:39:57.620 --> 01:39:59.240
How do I, and how do I get over?

1644
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:01.320
Still have remnants.

1645
01:40:01.620 --> 01:40:03.380
Y'all see how I snuck that in there?

1646
01:40:03.560 --> 01:40:05.940
Does anyone, did anyone catch what I just did right there?

1647
01:40:06.700 --> 01:40:07.180
What?

1648
01:40:07.220 --> 01:40:09.380
This isn't just you reconciling with yourself,

1649
01:40:09.380 --> 01:40:10.900
it's you forgiving yourself.

1650
01:40:11.460 --> 01:40:11.840
Right.

1651
01:40:12.720 --> 01:40:15.500
That's what I mentioned in the small group.

1652
01:40:15.560 --> 01:40:17.740
I need to forgive myself for wasted years,

1653
01:40:18.100 --> 01:40:19.060
what I think are wasted.

1654
01:40:19.340 --> 01:40:21.140
Yeah, and here's the thing, ladies,

1655
01:40:21.140 --> 01:40:24.940
and I know this is hard for us to really fully grasp,

1656
01:40:25.220 --> 01:40:26.960
and just for those that, you know,

1657
01:40:26.960 --> 01:40:28.740
we normally end around an hour and a half.

1658
01:40:28.740 --> 01:40:29.640
If you need to hop off,

1659
01:40:29.680 --> 01:40:31.600
I just always want to release people,

1660
01:40:32.020 --> 01:40:34.920
just so that you know it's totally fine if you can't stay.

1661
01:40:35.120 --> 01:40:36.280
But I am gonna finish with Gail,

1662
01:40:36.360 --> 01:40:37.840
and then I'm gonna go to Renee.

1663
01:40:37.920 --> 01:40:40.280
Joy, since you shared this afternoon,

1664
01:40:40.420 --> 01:40:42.740
are you okay if I just finish with Renee

1665
01:40:42.740 --> 01:40:44.220
and then close this out for the night?

1666
01:40:44.480 --> 01:40:45.880
I didn't know if you had something different.

1667
01:40:46.460 --> 01:40:48.060
Put that in the chat for me so I know.

1668
01:40:49.360 --> 01:40:51.520
So Gail, on this, really important.

1669
01:40:53.760 --> 01:40:58.720
God can give us back years that we,

1670
01:40:58.740 --> 01:41:00.560
wasted, okay?

1671
01:41:00.940 --> 01:41:03.920
Now, we might not get younger in the physical,

1672
01:41:04.320 --> 01:41:07.860
but what can happen is that God can literally heal us

1673
01:41:07.920 --> 01:41:13.040
and make it as if, like, we are younger in our spirit,

1674
01:41:13.220 --> 01:41:15.880
we're younger in the way that we, you know,

1675
01:41:15.980 --> 01:41:18.700
are showing up in the world, not like immature,

1676
01:41:19.360 --> 01:41:20.960
but just that there's a new joy,

1677
01:41:20.960 --> 01:41:23.240
there's a newfound, you know, adventure.

1678
01:41:23.520 --> 01:41:26.200
And the reality is, is that, you know,

1679
01:41:26.820 --> 01:41:28.460
you didn't know what you didn't know.

1680
01:41:30.200 --> 01:41:32.140
You can't change that.

1681
01:41:32.400 --> 01:41:34.800
All you can do is live forward

1682
01:41:35.200 --> 01:41:38.700
and begin to lean into what God has for you today.

1683
01:41:39.120 --> 01:41:42.580
And I know that might not always be the easiest thing

1684
01:41:42.580 --> 01:41:46.040
for people to hear, but like, you can't go backwards.

1685
01:41:46.460 --> 01:41:49.220
So it's just, you forgive yourself

1686
01:41:49.320 --> 01:41:53.420
and allow God to heal you and change your future.

1687
01:41:53.420 --> 01:41:56.380
Your latter years can be greater than your former years.

1688
01:41:56.800 --> 01:41:58.040
And I wanted to say as well,

1689
01:41:58.380 --> 01:42:00.000
just because this is really important.

1690
01:42:00.160 --> 01:42:01.720
I mentioned this in the afternoon

1691
01:42:02.300 --> 01:42:04.980
and you were totally fine in how you describe things

1692
01:42:04.980 --> 01:42:06.080
and all that when I say this,

1693
01:42:06.340 --> 01:42:08.020
but in this community,

1694
01:42:08.160 --> 01:42:09.860
I just wanna make sure everybody knows.

1695
01:42:10.220 --> 01:42:14.900
So we are very careful about not labeling people, okay?

1696
01:42:14.900 --> 01:42:16.900
So she did a great job navigating that,

1697
01:42:16.900 --> 01:42:19.260
but people are diagnosed with stuff.

1698
01:42:19.380 --> 01:42:22.300
I know that people struggle with narcissistic tendencies.

1699
01:42:22.300 --> 01:42:24.420
They live this stuff out, okay?

1700
01:42:24.560 --> 01:42:28.660
But the reality is, is people that are living that out

1701
01:42:28.660 --> 01:42:33.940
are fragmented, broken, very, you know, unhealed people.

1702
01:42:34.920 --> 01:42:36.920
I mean, that's the truth, okay?

1703
01:42:37.000 --> 01:42:41.900
And so I wanna encourage you, even when you said, okay,

1704
01:42:41.900 --> 01:42:45.520
you struggle or have struggled with codependency,

1705
01:42:45.820 --> 01:42:47.440
you're not a codependent.

1706
01:42:47.660 --> 01:42:48.480
Right, right.

1707
01:42:48.480 --> 01:42:51.920
Okay, so I just wanna make sure everybody hears that tonight

1708
01:42:52.440 --> 01:42:54.900
that even when you're given a diagnosis,

1709
01:42:55.260 --> 01:42:56.500
yes, listen to the wisdom

1710
01:42:56.500 --> 01:42:58.640
that you're learning through those people,

1711
01:42:59.180 --> 01:43:01.680
but you do not need a label

1712
01:43:01.680 --> 01:43:05.780
that is going to define who you are the rest of your life.

1713
01:43:05.860 --> 01:43:08.860
Now, listen to medical advice, okay?

1714
01:43:08.860 --> 01:43:10.260
If you have mental health struggles,

1715
01:43:11.240 --> 01:43:14.140
follow the doctor's advice, listen to what they're saying.

1716
01:43:14.180 --> 01:43:17.700
But what I'm telling you is that God can heal you

1717
01:43:17.700 --> 01:43:22.980
from the inside out and change who you used to be

1718
01:43:22.980 --> 01:43:28.040
into who you are, you know, now becoming in the days ahead.

1719
01:43:29.000 --> 01:43:34.360
So for myself, I struggled with codependency in the past.

1720
01:43:34.740 --> 01:43:38.500
I used to struggle with a deep spirit of fear, you know,

1721
01:43:38.500 --> 01:43:41.980
but I have overcome those things and not only overcome them,

1722
01:43:42.020 --> 01:43:45.200
but I am thriving and now able to teach people

1723
01:43:45.200 --> 01:43:48.280
how to overcome that stuff and thrive as well.

1724
01:43:48.560 --> 01:43:52.060
And so just as we're talking about people in situations,

1725
01:43:52.400 --> 01:43:57.900
you know, I've made mistakes in my life, 100%,

1726
01:43:57.900 --> 01:44:01.900
and I would not want someone to label me by that mistake.

1727
01:44:02.320 --> 01:44:05.040
And so I wanna offer the same grace to other people

1728
01:44:05.160 --> 01:44:07.100
that I have received.

1729
01:44:07.560 --> 01:44:11.160
And so we talk about the situations that we've been through,

1730
01:44:11.160 --> 01:44:15.000
but remember ladies, we're not gonna say he's a narcissist,

1731
01:44:15.240 --> 01:44:16.240
they're this, he's a cheater.

1732
01:44:16.820 --> 01:44:21.020
Okay, they cheated, but we're not gonna label them

1733
01:44:21.020 --> 01:44:22.980
and define them by their actions.

1734
01:44:23.060 --> 01:44:24.200
That doesn't mean you have to go back

1735
01:44:24.200 --> 01:44:26.500
into relationship with them, okay?

1736
01:44:26.820 --> 01:44:32.900
But we are gonna separate our actions from identity

1737
01:44:32.900 --> 01:44:36.540
and we're gonna do the same for other people too, okay?

1738
01:44:38.100 --> 01:44:39.300
Everyone understand?

1739
01:44:39.300 --> 01:44:43.840
All right, so I wanna encourage you to go ahead

1740
01:44:43.840 --> 01:44:46.780
and I think the forgiveness prayer sheet is for you.

1741
01:44:47.120 --> 01:44:50.240
I think first and foremost, forgiving yourself

1742
01:44:51.160 --> 01:44:54.340
and letting go of the shame and the regret

1743
01:44:54.340 --> 01:44:57.740
and allowing God to rewrite your story in the days to come.

1744
01:44:58.720 --> 01:44:59.980
And then if God's not there,

1745
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.260
leads you, you know, to do forgiveness prayer sheet for

1746
01:45:03.260 --> 01:45:07.800
your ex, I would encourage you to do that as well. And just

1747
01:45:07.800 --> 01:45:12.500
lean into again, what what was highlighted, even as I was, you

1748
01:45:12.500 --> 01:45:15.580
know, talking about when was the when was the first time he lied

1749
01:45:15.580 --> 01:45:18.940
to you? When was the first time it broke your heart, and start

1750
01:45:18.940 --> 01:45:23.200
there and then see what else is unveiled. Okay. All right.

1751
01:45:23.260 --> 01:45:26.020
Awesome. Thank you for sharing and trusting us. Appreciate

1752
01:45:26.020 --> 01:45:27.780
that. Renee, go ahead.

1753
01:45:29.460 --> 01:45:37.040
Yes. So when we were in the groups, the small group, we were

1754
01:45:37.040 --> 01:45:38.960
talking about who we need to forgive. And it kind of goes

1755
01:45:38.960 --> 01:45:42.340
back a couple weeks ago when you were talking about the lies that

1756
01:45:42.340 --> 01:45:48.500
we believe. And one of them was kind of they didn't choose me,

1757
01:45:48.500 --> 01:45:53.120
like I'm not worth being chosen. And when I was in this, the

1758
01:45:53.120 --> 01:45:58.380
small group session for that, we were talking about it. And I

1759
01:45:58.380 --> 01:46:02.680
mentioned a guy that I have been dating. And he didn't, I felt

1760
01:46:02.680 --> 01:46:05.260
like he didn't choose me. And there was a lot of opportunities

1761
01:46:05.260 --> 01:46:08.840
for him to choose me. And as I was talking about it, I just

1762
01:46:08.840 --> 01:46:11.760
started tearing up and I had done a forgiveness sheet on him.

1763
01:46:11.760 --> 01:46:15.220
And then now it plays into the layers. I had done a forgiveness

1764
01:46:15.220 --> 01:46:17.620
sheet. And then I as I was talking, I said to the

1765
01:46:17.620 --> 01:46:20.920
individual, I said, Man, I don't think I've I'm done with this,

1766
01:46:20.920 --> 01:46:24.300
because I immediately started tearing up as we were talking

1767
01:46:24.300 --> 01:46:28.820
about him. And so basically, it was a guy I was dating, and I

1768
01:46:28.820 --> 01:46:34.180
hadn't dated in a while. And he was in Florida, we were both in

1769
01:46:34.180 --> 01:46:37.340
Florida, and and we had been dating like a few months, and he

1770
01:46:37.340 --> 01:46:40.200
wouldn't get serious or anything. And eventually he told me he

1771
01:46:40.200 --> 01:46:45.820
wanted to move away to the DC area. So he did that. He was

1772
01:46:45.820 --> 01:46:49.600
like, you know, I don't want a long distance, whatever. And

1773
01:46:50.280 --> 01:46:54.920
eventually, I moved to DC for a job opportunity, like a year or

1774
01:46:54.920 --> 01:46:59.160
so later. And there was another opportunity for us to, you know,

1775
01:46:59.160 --> 01:47:03.180
hey, I'm here. And for the four years that I was there, we never

1776
01:47:03.180 --> 01:47:07.200
saw each other. We talked on the phone. But we never saw each

1777
01:47:07.200 --> 01:47:12.680
other that time. And for some reason, we talked like two times

1778
01:47:12.680 --> 01:47:16.520
a year now. And this is years ago, this is like 2008. And this

1779
01:47:16.640 --> 01:47:20.080
thing is still with me. But we talked, we called each other for

1780
01:47:20.080 --> 01:47:24.400
our birthdays. And one of those times, he said that I was going

1781
01:47:24.400 --> 01:47:29.040
to be like the cat lady with no husband. And I don't even know

1782
01:47:29.040 --> 01:47:31.120
what we're talking about, because we don't get serious

1783
01:47:31.260 --> 01:47:34.560
about too serious about stuff. But a lot of things started

1784
01:47:34.560 --> 01:47:38.080
coming out in these years, as we're talking to each other lies

1785
01:47:38.080 --> 01:47:46.620
that he has said to things, just all this came out. But

1786
01:47:46.620 --> 01:47:50.120
the cat lady, like I'll never have anybody. So not only did

1787
01:47:50.120 --> 01:47:53.220
you not choose me, but now you're telling me nobody's going

1788
01:47:53.220 --> 01:47:58.640
to choose me. And it's not just him. I felt this. There are

1789
01:47:58.640 --> 01:48:04.000
several key points in my past where I felt like my mom didn't

1790
01:48:04.000 --> 01:48:09.620
choose me. I felt like my father didn't choose me. And then the

1791
01:48:09.620 --> 01:48:13.700
men in my life don't choose me, and can kind of them

1792
01:48:13.700 --> 01:48:16.880
compartmentalize the men and throw it aside. But that

1793
01:48:16.880 --> 01:48:23.200
fundamental belief that lie has taken root. And I was like,

1794
01:48:23.200 --> 01:48:26.160
Okay, I need to do the forgiveness sheet again for the

1795
01:48:25.900 --> 01:48:29.100
guy. But maybe there's more to it.

1796
01:48:30.580 --> 01:48:33.920
Well, did you do a forgiveness prayer sheet for him saying to

1797
01:48:33.920 --> 01:48:36.520
like saying that you would be like a cat lady? Did you

1798
01:48:36.520 --> 01:48:41.220
actually do one for that in particular? No. Okay, that needs

1799
01:48:41.220 --> 01:48:45.200
to go on there 100%. A couple things I sometimes I jump in

1800
01:48:45.200 --> 01:48:48.020
ladies because I just I have stuff that starts coming up and

1801
01:48:48.020 --> 01:48:52.320
I don't want to forget it. And as soon as you started talking

1802
01:48:52.320 --> 01:48:57.220
about that, I'm I was coaching several months ago, another

1803
01:48:57.220 --> 01:49:00.580
woman in the community, and it wasn't the same thing. But I'm

1804
01:49:00.580 --> 01:49:02.900
saying it out loud. Because as soon as you said that this came

1805
01:49:02.900 --> 01:49:05.200
up in my spirit, so it could be for you, it could be for someone

1806
01:49:05.200 --> 01:49:11.440
else. But some guy, same kind of situation, you know, this guy

1807
01:49:11.440 --> 01:49:14.920
that would never really choose her, but they would, you know,

1808
01:49:14.920 --> 01:49:18.960
kind of spend time together. They were friends. But you know,

1809
01:49:18.960 --> 01:49:25.840
no real commitment there ever no pursuit, said to her, you're

1810
01:49:25.840 --> 01:49:31.560
gonna you're like an old maid. And he spoke that over her. And

1811
01:49:31.560 --> 01:49:34.820
he basically said that she would never get married. Very similar

1812
01:49:34.820 --> 01:49:37.600
kind of to what this guy has said to you. I don't know if you

1813
01:49:37.600 --> 01:49:42.040
all remember the old game old maid, but it's not a it's not a

1814
01:49:42.040 --> 01:49:45.180
good thing that someone said that to her. And so I'm

1815
01:49:46.660 --> 01:49:48.120
automatically I want to encourage you to come out of

1816
01:49:48.760 --> 01:49:51.700
agreement with, you know, whether you realize it or not,

1817
01:49:51.840 --> 01:49:56.320
because that hurt you, you may have now been the word that

1818
01:49:56.320 --> 01:49:59.540
comes to mind is room ruminating. I think that's how

1819
01:49:59.540 --> 01:49:59.980
you say it.

1820
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.780
You know, sometimes we think on things so many times that it actually becomes a part

1821
01:50:04.780 --> 01:50:07.360
of our actual thoughts about ourselves.

1822
01:50:09.900 --> 01:50:13.900
And so I want to encourage you to come out of agreement and alignment with that lie that

1823
01:50:13.900 --> 01:50:14.800
was spoken over you.

1824
01:50:14.860 --> 01:50:15.680
That is not truth.

1825
01:50:16.600 --> 01:50:19.640
And I'm going to encourage you to cut ties with this guy.

1826
01:50:21.100 --> 01:50:22.880
Why are you giving him space?

1827
01:50:22.940 --> 01:50:25.240
Why are you giving him any aspect of your heart?

1828
01:50:25.280 --> 01:50:27.500
There's been no pursuit.

1829
01:50:28.440 --> 01:50:33.840
You are worth it for some man to choose you and to treat you well.

1830
01:50:35.800 --> 01:50:39.420
Some guy says that to me, get out of here.

1831
01:50:41.460 --> 01:50:47.360
Maybe not back in the past, but I'm telling you now, I would not have allowed that for

1832
01:50:47.360 --> 01:50:51.040
one second because I'm worth more than that.

1833
01:50:51.120 --> 01:50:52.080
And so are you.

1834
01:50:52.080 --> 01:50:59.580
And so while y'all have been friends for now, I'm just telling you my best advice and coaching

1835
01:50:59.760 --> 01:51:00.840
regarding this guy.

1836
01:51:00.840 --> 01:51:02.400
It'll be up to you to choose it.

1837
01:51:02.400 --> 01:51:02.760
Okay.

1838
01:51:02.760 --> 01:51:08.780
I don't want you to feel forced, but what I have found from, you know, being in this

1839
01:51:08.780 --> 01:51:16.040
community is that women, um, it's years probably isn't as intense, but it's like a situationship.

1840
01:51:16.040 --> 01:51:20.460
You know, this guy comes to you when, when he wants to talk to you or you guys catch

1841
01:51:20.460 --> 01:51:22.060
up on birthdays or whatever.

1842
01:51:22.460 --> 01:51:28.080
And it's taking up space in your life, whether you realize it or not, and your heart, because

1843
01:51:28.080 --> 01:51:32.180
you're still dealing with the fact that he never chose you too.

1844
01:51:33.120 --> 01:51:35.700
And so when that's taking up space, guess what?

1845
01:51:35.780 --> 01:51:39.280
That that's space that you can't even give to someone else.

1846
01:51:39.740 --> 01:51:40.300
Okay.

1847
01:51:40.300 --> 01:51:41.900
So there's those two things.

1848
01:51:42.020 --> 01:51:44.580
You also said, mom didn't choose me.

1849
01:51:44.580 --> 01:51:47.300
Dad didn't choose me and men in my life.

1850
01:51:48.300 --> 01:51:49.420
Don't choose me.

1851
01:51:50.280 --> 01:51:53.240
So there's a generalizing statement now happening.

1852
01:51:53.800 --> 01:51:54.100
Okay.

1853
01:51:55.140 --> 01:52:03.900
So I want to encourage you to forgive men in general, your dad can be included in that,

1854
01:52:05.740 --> 01:52:07.280
but here's, here's the other thing.

1855
01:52:07.280 --> 01:52:13.180
I think this is going to be really powerful when you were talking about, you know, the,

1856
01:52:13.400 --> 01:52:15.340
all these people that haven't chose you.

1857
01:52:16.220 --> 01:52:25.800
I saw literally a picture of you and you, you writing over your picture, the word chosen.

1858
01:52:27.420 --> 01:52:33.760
Because today is the day that you need to start believing and aligning with, I am chosen.

1859
01:52:34.540 --> 01:52:36.400
First and foremost, you're chosen by God.

1860
01:52:37.100 --> 01:52:38.120
You are his daughter.

1861
01:52:38.240 --> 01:52:39.420
You are his beloved.

1862
01:52:40.900 --> 01:52:41.500
You're his princess.

1863
01:52:41.500 --> 01:52:48.740
Like literally he cared, like cares about you so much and he chooses you over and over

1864
01:52:48.740 --> 01:52:51.420
and over again, whether you realize it or not, he does.

1865
01:52:52.940 --> 01:52:57.060
But in the midst of that, you're going to start choosing yourself.

1866
01:53:00.220 --> 01:53:05.740
And people are going to start choosing you, but the switch, we kind of talked about this

1867
01:53:05.740 --> 01:53:07.840
last night on the prophetic ministry night.

1868
01:53:07.840 --> 01:53:15.440
We have to switch and, and shift in our spirit and believe it in our soul and our spirit

1869
01:53:15.660 --> 01:53:20.420
before we can believe it in the physical realm, before it can even show up differently in

1870
01:53:20.420 --> 01:53:21.220
the physical realm.

1871
01:53:21.300 --> 01:53:25.780
And so I want you to start to literally, I want you like, this is your homework assignment.

1872
01:53:26.100 --> 01:53:30.300
In addition to the forgiveness prayer sheets, I want you to find a picture of yourself and

1873
01:53:30.300 --> 01:53:31.240
print it out.

1874
01:53:31.240 --> 01:53:38.140
And I want you to write over it chosen or above it, however you want to do it.

1875
01:53:38.160 --> 01:53:40.540
It doesn't have to be over your face or anything like that.

1876
01:53:40.540 --> 01:53:46.700
And I want you to hang it up and maybe even like ask the Lord for a scripture that aligns

1877
01:53:46.700 --> 01:53:48.000
with God choosing you.

1878
01:53:48.080 --> 01:53:48.440
Okay.

1879
01:53:48.660 --> 01:53:55.700
That you can put on there and remind yourself every day that you are chosen, that even when

1880
01:53:55.700 --> 01:54:00.640
other people didn't choose you in the physical realm, God was always choosing you.

1881
01:54:01.240 --> 01:54:01.720
Always.

1882
01:54:03.240 --> 01:54:08.380
And I believe you are going to experience different things in the future, but I think

1883
01:54:08.380 --> 01:54:11.780
as you keep going, you're going to have to forgive mom and dad as well, but I want to,

1884
01:54:12.020 --> 01:54:13.320
I don't want to overload you.

1885
01:54:13.320 --> 01:54:15.920
I want, let's start with this guy in that situation.

1886
01:54:17.440 --> 01:54:25.600
And, um, the assignment of really, you know, choosing yourself and loving yourself and

1887
01:54:25.600 --> 01:54:28.040
partnering with, I am his daughter.

1888
01:54:28.080 --> 01:54:28.960
I am God's daughter.

1889
01:54:29.040 --> 01:54:29.860
I have chosen.

1890
01:54:29.860 --> 01:54:31.760
He's working on my behalf right now.

1891
01:54:31.760 --> 01:54:36.540
He's going to lead me to people that are healthy and, and want relationship.

1892
01:54:36.540 --> 01:54:42.480
And that I, um, Psalm 68, six says that God places the solitary in family.

1893
01:54:44.120 --> 01:54:50.200
So if you have felt lonely, God is saying over you tonight, your destiny is family.

1894
01:54:50.200 --> 01:54:51.520
And y'all what that means.

1895
01:54:51.520 --> 01:54:54.060
It means that family isn't always biological.

1896
01:54:54.060 --> 01:54:59.700
And I know it's not that it, it takes away the void that we feel when we don't have.

1897
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:04.900
family that was there for us the way that you know I believe for all of us

1898
01:55:04.900 --> 01:55:13.000
God intended it but what it does mean is that God says hey daughter I'm about to

1899
01:55:13.000 --> 01:55:19.000
pick you up and place you over in this community called last year single and

1900
01:55:19.940 --> 01:55:24.800
I'm about to help you know what it feels like to be loved on and be in family and

1901
01:55:24.800 --> 01:55:30.520
for people to cheer you on and literally intercede for your victory and all of

1902
01:55:30.520 --> 01:55:33.680
the things and he'll give you more community too but I just use that as an

1903
01:55:34.860 --> 01:55:39.020
example because God's doing something new in your life and it's you know this

1904
01:55:39.020 --> 01:55:48.420
is just the beginning but that guy pray about that okay pray about that again my

1905
01:55:48.420 --> 01:55:55.400
strong recommendation is to close that door you will you pray about it and do

1906
01:55:55.400 --> 01:56:00.980
what you feel it to do okay thank you you're welcome we love you ladies I am

1907
01:56:00.980 --> 01:56:04.000
gonna go ahead and close down tonight joy will you put your other thing that

1908
01:56:04.000 --> 01:56:07.500
you were gonna share in the group in the community group so that I can respond to

1909
01:56:07.500 --> 01:56:13.580
it there oh just quick well I just really need to close down because I've

1910
01:56:13.580 --> 01:56:21.100
I keep going so late okay so if I hadn't coached you this afternoon I totally would

1911
01:56:21.100 --> 01:56:26.060
but let's go ahead and put that in the chat in the group chat for us and I'll respond

1912
01:56:26.060 --> 01:56:31.880
to you there sweetheart okay all right let me pray first father thank you so much for

1913
01:56:31.880 --> 01:56:37.180
everything that you're doing God we thank you for continuing to just come and shine

1914
01:56:37.180 --> 01:56:42.760
your light into every dark place we thank you for just helping us to continue to

1915
01:56:42.760 --> 01:56:48.780
yes Lord to take the Holy Spirit by the hand and remember that he's walking with us every

1916
01:56:48.780 --> 01:56:54.380
step of the way that he is guiding us he's counseling us he's loving us he's helping

1917
01:56:54.380 --> 01:56:59.880
us to hear what your spirit is what the spirit is saying to us we thank you Lord that that we

1918
01:56:59.880 --> 01:57:05.280
can walk in all truth we thank you that you would just continue to give us an upgrade

1919
01:57:05.280 --> 01:57:10.520
in the revelation of who you are father that you're a good father who gives good gifts to

1920
01:57:10.520 --> 01:57:17.360
your daughters yes Lord you're not coming with big heavy things of punishment waiting to pour

1921
01:57:17.360 --> 01:57:22.620
that on us God we thank you for grace we thank you for the truth that you're kind that you're

1922
01:57:22.880 --> 01:57:29.300
faithful and that you you come through you your promises are yes and amen and you are faithful

1923
01:57:29.300 --> 01:57:35.480
to finish and fulfill those promises that are that have been made to us God and that you're

1924
01:57:35.680 --> 01:57:42.120
to work in our lives even right now so Lord even while these ladies sleep I pray that you would

1925
01:57:42.120 --> 01:57:47.560
just do heart surgery God do a supernatural work in them that they would wake up even some of them

1926
01:57:47.560 --> 01:57:56.060
tomorrow and feel completely different we just thank you that you are yes Lord yes Lord that

1927
01:57:56.120 --> 01:58:00.980
you're literally sowing even right now in the spirit realm you're sowing hearts and you're

1928
01:58:00.980 --> 01:58:06.920
just bringing healing and restoration and the depths and the core center parts of their heart

1929
01:58:06.920 --> 01:58:13.300
we just thank you in advance for that in Jesus name amen amen amen God bless you all I'll see

1930
01:58:13.300 --> 01:58:16.060
you in the group have a good night everyone bye