Awesome. Welcome, ladies. I'm so happy to be here with you, ladies. Can't believe it's
already close to the end of September. Can't believe it. This year is flying by. I'm going
to go ahead and pray, and then I will get to our housekeeping items. I was about to
I forget to pray, and I do not want to do that. All right. Heavenly Father, I thank you so much
for this community. I thank you for the ladies that are on this call. Those are
those that will also watch and replay, Lord. I just thank you for the ability for us to come
together and partner with each other in the presence of your spirit so that we can hear
from you, Lord. Lord, I thank you for this opportunity that you've blessed me with,
not only having been in this program myself and having met my spirit mate, but that I still get
to continue to pour in to others and encourage and fill other ladies with hope for their love
stories as well that you've intricately, intricately, so wonderfully have written for
Lord. I just thank you. I thank you for the love stories that you have written for them that they
don't even realize just how involved you are. It just reminds me of my own and how there were
moments where I never thought it was going to happen, and when it happened, it was better than
I had ever imagined. And so I just thank you because you're doing the same for each one of
these ladies. And when their spirit mate comes, it's going to make all the sense in the world.
And they're going to see how intentional you were in that love story and how loved they are by you
in that love story. And so I just thank you for that. I thank you for that moment when it all
comes together and they realize that. And not only are they going to be filled with so much joy
for finding their spirit mate, but they're going to be filled with an abundance of
love, not just from their spirit mate, but from you, Father. I just thank you for that.
So Lord, I just ask that you bless our time together today. Allow these ladies to share
their vulnerable hearts, Lord. And I just ask that, you know, use me as a vessel to speak
encouragement and hope and wisdom into each and every one of them, whether they're here live or
watching in replay. And just be with us. Thank you in your son's name. Amen.
All right. Look at that. We got more ladies. Love it. Hey, love it. Love it. Love it. Oh,
good. Danelle is here. Danelle, you have, I love it because you have, you are so involved. You are
like a sponge. I can tell you're sharing in community. I sometimes don't even feel like
I could keep up with, with coaching you. So I apologize. Just know, like I look today and I'm
like, I have a lot of work to do. I'm going to get to you later, either this evening or tomorrow and
Thursday, I will be able to dive right in. So any of you ladies that are on the call right now,
and I have not had a moment to respond, or Ebony as well, just know that we see you and we will be
responding to you. We just, again, we thank you so much for just your dedication. Ladies, again,
I don't, if there's anybody new here, I don't think there is. I think I know everybody here.
But I have walked through this journey. I totally get it. So just know, like,
I know there's going to be moments of those like discouragement. I get it. But I just,
again, I just want you to know, like, you don't have to do this alone. And we love and care about
you. And God's got you. God has totally got you. Because in this season and in this process,
he is shaping and molding and refining you for marriage. He really is. Okay. And I know at times
when we're in this, it doesn't, it doesn't feel like that. But like I said, in the prayer,
it will all make sense. Y'all, I was in this program for two years before I met my now husband.
And a year, like, I was like, very
involved in this community.
Um, and I didn't even actually start dating until after I was in this
program for over a year.
And so I spent an entire year.
So my second year in this group, I spent that entire year dating and y'all, like,
I can't tell you how many times I was discouraged because you'll see people
getting married and getting engaged.
And you're like, why isn't it happening to me?
Like, you know, it's, it's natural to feel that way.
That's what the enemy wants you to feel.
He wants you to feel defeated.
He wants you to feel discouraged because he knows that God has an amazing spirit
mate for you, and he knows what that marriage is going to do for the
kingdom and he doesn't want it.
So he's going to do anything and everything to discourage you and keep you away from
trying to live out that promise.
And so in those moments of feeling discouraged, come to this community, you
can share your heart with us.
Okay.
It's okay to feel defeated.
I can't tell you how many times I came to this community, just sobbing on calls
because I was just a mess at times, but I will tell you, it was this community
that kept me going.
So you just being here right now is enough.
Okay.
God's with you.
God's going to guide you and direct you.
We're all on these, on different path on a different journey.
Okay.
Some of us are going to be like ready to dive in and start dating.
And we're going to knock out those seven dates pretty quickly.
Um, I was not one of those girls.
So if you're, you're like me, it might take you a little while and that's okay too.
But God moved in such an awesome way in my journey, in every single one of the, the
sisters that I built relationship with and that are just in this community now.
And there's some, there are still some women in this community that were in my,
when I first joined five years ago that are still looking for their spirit mate.
So I know if I was discouraged and it took me two years, I know that they are too,
but you know what?
They still show up in this community.
God is still doing an awesome work in each and every one of them.
I've seen God move in their lives over the last five years in such phenomenal ways.
So just know that if it doesn't feel like it's happening yet for you, God is still
working something good.
I hope that gives anybody that might be feeling a little discouraged.
I hope that gives you a little, a little pep talk here.
All right.
But just know, show up.
You can share your vulnerable self with us here.
Um, share it with us in our app and if you have to vent, we get it.
We totally get it.
You know, as a coach, myself and Ebony, we're going to, we're going to do what we
are called to do and try to help you coach out of some of those situations.
But we also know that God's got you and God's got you on whatever journey that it
is.
So if you're feeling some resistance, that's okay.
We might just be calling a little something out just to plant the seed.
If you're feeling resistance or offended, cause y'all, I can't tell you how many
times Jackie offended me in this community and I love her and she knows I love her.
And, um, I know she loves me, but man, sometimes like some of her coaching,
Lord, like really stretched me.
And so it's okay if our coaching stretches you or you get a little offended.
I want you to lay that stuff at the Lord's feet.
And allow him to speak to your heart.
Okay.
Cause I, what I will tell you is every time I got offended by something that Jackie
said, there was a reason because there was a little heartwork that I needed.
And fun fact, ladies, heartwork never stops, even in marriage, there's always
something that, you know, God wants to upgrade us and grow us closer to him.
I mean, that's inevitably what, what he, he desires from us, right?
His relationship with us.
really does and so he's gonna continue to grow us and heal us and reveal areas
where we can connect even in more deep intimacy with him okay so I want to just
again I just release that over you ladies okay I hope that gives you some
hope and encouragement and just know like when your spirit mates come there's
more growing you know marriage will mold like will refine you I mean it's like
that iron sharpens iron right you have two different people coming together to
be that perfect image of God and you got two people with two minds and then you
got the male and the female the masculine the feminine and let me tell
you men and women are different so there is gonna be some like you know you got
to kind of rub some of those rough edges and learn how to grow together and so
just know hard work is involved there too and this program will prepare you
for a kingdom marriage as well okay a couple housekeeping things I don't think
I see anybody new on here I know a couple people I think jumped on do I
have any new ladies I don't think so okay well they're watching and replay
welcome I know Dan is it Danelle Danelle okay I I butcher names I'm really bad at
that I'm she's not new here but she's new to me because she she doesn't this
is your first time to one o'clock to any any life cool okay this is like I had to
make this happen yeah this is my work day and I have to take off my lawyer
brain and I'm like I have to make this call happen because I know we've been
interacting like get on the lives so yes I'm good yes yeah sometimes I just I
don't recognize some ladies because they do go to the evening calls because I
understand evening sometimes are a better time frame unfortunately that's
not always the best time frame for me because I have three kids and so I'm
always busy in the afternoons in the evenings now and then I will kind of
jump in and co-host with Ebony and so we'll tag-team it but I don't always get
to do that all right Supernatural Saturdays if you ladies are not aware I
think most of you probably are they are not being recorded this month okay I
know that's like a shock because we always tell you watch it watch it watch
it go to replay so you might be like well they tell me to watch it and then
it's not here so we are not recording them for for September so what we
encourage you to do in this month is if you cannot make it live try to make it
live if you can I get it you can't all right I start baseball tournament every
weekend starting this weekend so Saturdays are my Saturdays and Sundays
are usually shot and I'm at the ballfield all day every day in the
weekend so I get it but even though it's not being recorded this month go back
and listen to old ones sometimes I will just do that randomly when I'm just
feeling like I need a little pick-me-up or something God will just put it on my
heart so listen to a Supernatural Saturday and I'll just like scroll and
I'll pick one and there's always just something so good that gets released
that I didn't hear before or at least I heard it before it just didn't resonate
with me the way that it does in that very moment so I encourage you to do
that another thing please ladies when you are replying to us coaches in your
post add a new comment under your post don't click reply under our comment it
just helps us see that you've replied I know it's really weird unfortunately
like we're trying to get some glitches worked out and I think we're it's it's I
will tell you it's gotten better it's gotten way better and so sometimes we'll
miss your response because we're not getting notified that you replied under
our comment but what I will say is if you comment on your post after we've
commented we'll see that okay another thing ladies I love seeing all the
support that you all are given each other in the app please just make sure
that you're not commenting on someone's post that's under that they haven't done
it under the ask a coach if you do want to reply to them wait till myself or
Ebony has commented because sometimes if we're on our phones because sometimes I
have to reply like reply on my phone and unfortunately I don't have certain
admin tabs
to be able to do the things that I can on my computer.
So when I'm scrolling through on my app,
if I see comments,
it tells me that maybe Ebony's already gotten to it.
And again, sometimes it's like, if I've got 30 minutes,
I'm gonna try to get to as many as I can,
so I'm scrolling pretty fast, okay?
So if you can just hold back to reply on someone's,
especially under the Ask a Coach post,
so that we don't miss it, that would help greatly.
Thank you, Stephanie, for letting me know.
I totally get it.
I'll get to your question here in just a minute.
All right, and then yeah,
if you can't ever make this one o'clock call,
this will always be in replay as well as the eight o'clock.
If you can make it to both one and eight live, go for it.
Okay, if you can't make it to either, watch both replays.
If you can make it to mine
and you can't make it to the evening one,
watch the evening one in replay and vice versa.
Maybe you make it to Ebony's,
but you couldn't make it to this one,
watch this one in replay, cool?
Awesome, all right, Stephanie, I'm gonna see,
if any of you have questions, go ahead and put your hands up
so I see how many questions I have for today.
I see Janelle, she's got her hand up.
And then if you had a question last week
and I couldn't get to you,
please, please, please let me know in the chat
because I wanna grab your question first or close to first
because I know this,
I mean, we're gonna probably be on here about another hour.
So I just wanna make sure I get to as many people as I can.
So when you ask your questions,
try to be short, brief and powerful.
The good news about this time slot
is we don't have a lot of people.
So we can usually kind of take a little extra time
because I don't have as many questions.
But what typically happens is towards the end of the call,
it prompts other ladies to have questions
and then I'm trying to squeeze everybody
in at the very last minute.
So, all right, I see that I got three.
I'm gonna read Stephanie's here.
And then I did wanna share something.
And I see, I'm sorry if I butchered your name,
is it Sarah Shell?
Did I pronounce it right?
Yes, okay.
She had a really great question last week
that I asked her to post in the app.
And I wanted to get more feedback from the team.
And I know Bethany gave a response.
I wanna share that response with everybody here
because I do think it's gonna be helpful.
And then Sarah Shell,
if you have any feedback that you wanna get on,
I do think I saw that you had replied.
I just haven't gotten to it yet.
So if there's time and you wanna go
and cover that on this call, we can do that too, okay?
It's totally up to you.
All right.
Do I have details on Sunday prophetic teaching?
Is that the prophesier year for Rosh Hashanah?
I think that's what you're talking about.
Okay, yeah.
I do not have all the details.
But if you wanna make a post in the app,
I can try to follow up and get as many details as I can.
So what Stephanie is sharing ladies,
and I'm glad that you brought that up
because I didn't have that in my notes
to share with you ladies.
Y'all should have, if you go on our app, excuse me,
and you go to the first page
and you go to all of the pin posts for the announcements,
Bethany made an announcement about prophesier year.
So we usually do it once a year
and it's at the beginning of the year.
This year, we're doing it again for the Jewish new year,
for the Rosh Hashanah.
And so what that is, is just a prophetic extra teaching.
It is an additional cost because we have to pay
the people that come on and teach that session.
So that does require a registration.
So you are gonna have to register for it.
I do not off the top of my head,
I cannot remember how much it costs,
but usually in the past,
the ones that we do at the beginning of the year
are recorded.
So if you register and you cannot make it live
for whatever reason, it is recorded
and you have the ability to watch it on replay.
You do not have the ability to watch it in replay
if you have not registered and paid the fee.
Okay, but again, Stephanie,
I want you to post that comment in our app
so that I can follow up and just confirm
that is also happening for this one.
Okay, as far as the recording and you having access to it
because I see that you're celebrating your birthday.
I love it.
happy birthday by the way um so and then what I will say is it usually we usually like start that
off and then in the I don't know how I do not know how they're going to set it up this year
so actually I'll just I'll leave it at that because that's kind of all I do know I don't
want to give any misinformation okay so hopefully that helps a little bit um but definitely throw
that question up in the app so that myself or ebony can make sure that we follow up with the
team because I want to make sure that I share the correct information plus for anybody that
is not on this call maybe doesn't have the same question tonight on the eight o'clock
or doesn't get an opportunity to watch the replays um for this call they will
potentially see that as well okay all right I think I covered all of that um activations
still want you ladies you know just sitting in that place of rest that sabbath I know um
sometimes we forget to kind of post those things in the app don't hesitate to do that okay
share with us what holy spirit is kind of showing you in this like month of sabbath
like what is he having you do what is he highlighting for you um so don't be shy
to share that with us um so keep that going um and then I just felt like literally right as I
was getting on this call I felt the lord kind of press on me which I thought might be also good for
you because it's something that I had to do in this group when I was single and god's kind of
prompting me to do it now even as a married person um start getting ready each morning
like before you go run your errands like ladies I have three kids and a husband now and I just feel
like I'm constantly on the run I leave my house super early in the morning to get all my three
kids to school and oftentimes it's like no makeup my hair's not done I'm usually just throwing on
a t-shirt and jeans I really have recognized that I have neglected like just spending time just to
maybe even like put a little mascara on or a little lip gloss on or throw a dress on or a cute top
and so if that speaks to you ladies I want to encourage you to do that this week um
because and the reason I say that is because part of it for me is about me slowing down and
taking a rest because I get so hurried that I forget to slow down and just take care of myself
and I don't know about y'all but sometimes when it's just like a little extra lip gloss or um
you know me throwing my contacts on and having some mascara on
or maybe curling my hair a little bit is just enough to kind of make me show up differently
when I'm out you know I I'm more I'm more prone to making eye contact and smiling people and
and connecting with people and sharing the love of Jesus like sharing joy I mean I'm not sitting
there like preaching the gospel to everybody I cross on the on in the grocery aisle but sometimes
just showing up and smiling and saying hello really does lift the spirit of people that really
need connection and I need it too but I when I'm not really ready I kind of hide because I'm like
oh my goodness like I have no makeup on like I have this blemish or something that you know I
can't let anybody see um that sort of thing so I encourage you ladies to do to do that I love that
Sam perfume yeah just something that smells nice that will just lift your spirit so that you just
show up just ready to just like connect and pour on people and like I always tell you ladies you
know who you're gonna meet okay I'm not saying that you're gonna meet this like guy out there
sometimes you may meet the guy's sister or mother or next door neighbor or you know small group
leader like you just never know and it could be a woman that is the one that introduces you
to your to your spirit mate so it could be even just striking up conversations with other women
and people that are in in sight okay all right Danelle
I got your question and then I got Allah and then I got Sam and then did I see somebody else's hand that went down?
I think Stephanie saying yes. I don't know who it was. I said it earlier. Caitlin, you got your hand up. I know there was somebody else. They might not be on right now. They might have had to jump off. Stephanie, you're going to be putting your hand up. I saw your little little. Hey, what's up?
I love it. All right. Okay, so now I'm gonna I'm gonna go to you first.
Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you to keep it short, brief and powerful. I know you probably have a lot if you just nail it.
Okay, perfect. Hello. Okay. So hello, Carla. Hello, everyone. So my question is about
about the when you move from an initial chat and an online app through to getting a call, you know, having a call or a video chat or a date. I realized after listening to the calls that it's actually encouraged for it to be quicker than I have been. Okay. And so I'm making moves on that. It's in process. However, there is a process. Exactly. Right. And so there is someone that I did post actually, it's one of the questions that you refer to.
I'd love to hear back from you about it's someone that I've been to. We were talking from the end of August, and we were back and forth. And for me, I'm doing this, you know, it's for discovery. So not attached. But we've had pleasant, we've had pleasant conversations.
And then all of a sudden, around just before around September, the ninth, he said, maybe when I come to Maui, we can sit down for a nice chat and love to talk with you. You seem like an amazing person that I didn't take anything like you're in my mind. It was like, yeah, right, you're coming to Maui. I mean, not to say that most of our conversation has been about that, because he has been to the island. And I realized now his questions were more about him trying to figure out how it could work.
Only I realized in that recent days, the point is, is that I responded, thanks, a conversation would be nice. So I didn't, it wasn't that I was encouraging Maui, it's just the conversation would be nice. And I feel at that point. Oh, and then I didn't hear from him. So there was regular communication before that. And you know, we both have busy jobs and stuff. Well, I've got business and he's a firefighter, and I know about shifts and all this stuff. Again, no expectation.
But I didn't hear anything. And then I was like, Okay, well, well, you know, next kind of thing. No big deal. Yeah. And then two days. Well, at the time of this message, I'm trying to get context, a good week or maybe nine days after I got I love your new picture. Do you have such a pretty smile? I hope you have a great week. And the Brit, the Brit in me is want to respond to say thank you. Not that I want anything else.
But then with the calls that you both you and Ebony, I'm, for me, I could just move on and not respond. But I feel kind of like, oh, that's so rude, you know, and I would love to talk it out, like, let it go. I was even yesterday, I was like, we'll just say thank you. And then, you know, next, but at the same time, in this process of, you know, moving things, I am curious to just get more dates in if that made sense. By the way, I had my first one on Sunday, I had my first one on Sunday.
Anyway, this is seven person. But and this is long distance, by the way. Yeah, this person is you're in Hawaii. You're in Hawaii. Yes. Okay. So this person's West Coast. He's in Oregon. So but he's always he started he wasn't it wasn't like a lure. It definitely was just genuine, you know, like Maui asking questions. I didn't realize until like I said that he's actually was more of a consideration of how could this work for him? Yeah. Anyway,
I'm like, he was interested enough to be okay, I want to figure out if I can meet up with her and see where this goes. Yeah. And then he's talking about Yeah, again, when we're when we're doing that first level one and intro into level two. Um,
but yeah, I mean, it's that discovery. Like we, ladies, we don't know right away. If the people that we're talking with in that level one in that entry level two, like we don't know where it's gonna go. It's just about discovering like, I'm getting to know a new person. Let's see what exactly. So again, he's probably like, I'd be interested in getting to know her. And if I see that I like her a lot, and we can meet,
and this works. Because here's the thing, ladies, when men find their wives, they get a favor from the Lord. All right. That's Proverbs 1822. But I will tell you a man that is interested and intentional, he will make it work.
So, so let them lead that. Okay, so, okay, so going back into, like, where you're kind of at, right?
Yeah, so basically, so it's not that I'm trying to figure
out what he's doing, it's not that.
It's more that my thing was, oh gosh,
where was I going with this?
When he actually said, when I come to Maui,
something in me, and again, I know when you feel something,
there's work to be done, right?
But something in me was like, whoa, that's a bit of a jump.
First we're bantering, having really good conversations,
and we're just talking about Hawaii in general,
he's been to a couple of islands,
he's asked about the islands,
was it like living and moving from where I was before?
To me, so I didn't, I'm so, when it comes to dating,
I am really not, that's why I'm here.
I didn't get that that's what he was doing,
was literally learning about how it would work for him.
But again, I'm not thinking about that.
But then it came to, all of a sudden,
when I come to Maui, and for me, that kind of made me,
so I know, energetically-
A guard kind of came up.
There was a little- Energetically, it was like,
wait a minute now, why are we jumping there?
Yeah. Okay.
And so I think, anyway.
What thoughts or feelings were coming up,
like, were there any fears or beliefs
that you recognize kind of coming up?
And again, you might not know what that is right now
in this moment, it may be something
that you go take to the Lord,
and he begins to kind of reveal to you.
So I ask that question first, and see if anything comes up,
okay, and you can address that in here in a minute.
If not, and go to the Lord with that.
Then, what I'd like to ask you ladies is,
when in your past does that feel familiar?
What happened in your past where that feels familiar?
Is there a memory?
And then I always even, we even coach,
and I know Bethany does this too, is,
when was the first time you felt that, what was happening?
Like, go back to your farthest memory that you can recall
where that felt very similar.
Because what could be happening
is that the heartwork happening,
where there's an area or some past occurrence that happened
that God wants to kind of have you kind of look at
and start working on some healing.
And what I will say with you ladies,
and you'll hear me say this often,
is that healing comes in layers, okay?
So don't be surprised if you go back to a memory
that you've already visited and gotten some healing from,
because there just may be another little layer to look under.
Okay, I did that even just recently.
I thought I had dealt with something in my past,
and y'all, it was coming up.
It was coming up with my bonus kids.
I was reacting a lot from just a past,
like, belief or alignment or thought
that was kind of coming up in head,
like, I'm not worth being listened to,
like, no one values me,
and it took me back to a place
that I had already worked heartwork through five years ago.
I mean, I was just like, whoa,
I thought I already dealt with this.
Clearly, there's another layer
because now I'm in a different situation.
So it will mold you into a diff,
like, it will heal you
because of the different situations you're in.
So with all that being said,
is there anything that's coming up in your spirit?
Yes.
Okay, you wanna tell me about it?
Oh, yes, so instantly when he said it,
well, when he got that message,
I thought, right, what game are you playing?
You're trying to bait me, you're trying to get me,
you think I'm one of those people
that are gonna be like, oh, you're coming to Maui,
and then, you know,
because my thing is in this season,
and I'm very open,
and I'm so happy that I'm feeling more healed,
is that I am gonna date many people,
like, in this process, because it's discovery.
My previous persona would,
I'm very, like, you know, I'm a monogamous person,
and I wanna date this, find the one,
and that's the one,
and we're gonna just talk, and we're gonna connect.
And so instantly it made me think about a person.
The last time I was online dating,
before the heart, well, I've done heart work before,
but before this part, heart work in this season, right?
It was about two years ago,
and this person was on another island, on Oahu,
and we got on so well, and he never came.
Bear in mind, the work he does,
and it's interesting,
because this person is also in
an emergency services type role,
but this person was, right, right?
Now I'm talking it out, I'm like, oh,
this person, I believe he wanted to,
but there was always an emergency for the state,
like, he was on state-level emergency stuff,
at a high level,
and so there was always something that stopped him,
and it literally was,
there was so many disasters going on, I know, and I.
believe, I could tell on the news, you know, there's no way he could have made it. So we
kept making plans. It never happened. Eventually, eventually, I started to feel a bit like now
he's playing me got to the point in the end, after a long time, and I ended up blocking
him. This was a couple of years ago. Because I thought isn't even who he says it, you know,
I knew he was, I knew his name, I could see what he looked like. So it's not like that.
You know, I could tell who he actually was. But something about it had always been in my gut,
it's not right all along. And so that when I blocked it, I went through forgiveness,
all of that with him back then. But I also know that it's like layers of an onion. Do you know
what I mean? I'm not saying it. So as Yeah, so as you said that, and I'm journaling, as you said it,
I'm like, I'm always writing. Yeah, I'm attaching this to that. And it's connected. So that's,
that's what came up. Um, the one thing that I'm that is jumping out at me is
God wants you to know that you're God defended and God protected.
Like sit with that, ladies, and I don't think that's just for you to know, I think that's for
a lot of you. When these these triggers come up, especially when you're, you know, trying to get
to know people, and you're possibly, you know, going on dates and all that, then this, the
possibility of someone not following through, or this part of rejection, if you have been rejected
before, or haven't, there's not been followed through before, it's going to feel very similar.
But God wants you to know, he's defending you, and he's protecting you. So even though
you don't really know all of the details as to why he never came.
I really want to believe that God was just closing a door to protect you.
I know that. Yeah. And so just again, remind yourself of that. Yeah. And again, just because
this guy feels similar. He's not that guy.
Okay, not saying that this guy is going to end up being your spirit mate, but it may be, God just
wants to show you this area of, hey, I got you. You don't have to be afraid. Even if it feels similar.
I'm going to show you or I'm going to remove things. I'm going to let you know what you need
to know when you need to know it. And it's okay to step into getting to know someone. And ladies,
that's why we always talk to you ladies about pacing yourself and not jumping in and getting
head over heels right at first. I know that can happen for sure. I get it. You're like,
oh my gosh, this is the one. And then all of a sudden you don't see the flags and then it just
kind of blows up. That's what happened to me several times before I got hard work.
And so God was showing me like, look, you can trust these guys, but pace yourself. Let me show
you more about these men's character before you jump in all in. And so it helped me kind of take
a step back and kind of slow down. And so spend some time processing that a little bit more.
Okay. But I, I hope that helped kind of getting it out, processing it and recognizing where the
connection is. And I hope that being God defended, God protected is, is hitting, hitting there.
Literally hit me this weekend. Like that's exactly what I have is I'm not attached. I'm
not attached to him. I'm not bothered. I have not felt like this in a long,
I'm talking decades. And it's such a great feeling. That's why for me, my, my thing about
this to kind of finish with this part, well, say finish what's the power of my power of life and
death. I'm not sure how to respond to he's. I love your new picture D that came out of the blue.
Do you have any words of advice? You could just definitely say, Hey, thanks. Um, cause it's been
a while. So I haven't heard from you in a while. Like how have you been sort of thing? Yeah. Like,
you can even drop the hand, be like, why don't we jump on a video chat? Cause I know you mentioned
wanting to come to Maui sometimes. So why don't we jump on a video? And then
if by the end of that call where you think that might be possibility,
then we can maybe make arrangements for that.
Again, just take that one. Okay. I receive it. I do receive it. Carla. Seriously. Um,
thank you. You know, don't worry.
the handkerchief issues.
I want them to come in like a knight in shining armor.
No, it's okay.
I'm playing.
Yeah.
Anyway, thank you so much.
That's so helpful.
You are so welcome.
Thank you for coming live.
It's so good to see you in person.
I love it.
Thank you.
Appreciate you.
Alaa, how are you, sweetheart?
How are you?
So good to see you.
What's your question?
I have a question.
So if we move to the next step,
will we be still able to ask anyone questions there?
Or is it?
Okay, so yeah, you,
when you all move over to phase three,
after you've gone through our content here,
you, there's coaches over there in phase three, okay?
We will not have,
you will not have these smaller group coaching sessions
because there's more women and men in that community.
We have co-ed events and we have just women events as well.
I believe we typically have about two events a month.
So it will not be set up like this.
We have what's called Love Seat,
and that will be with Jackie oftentimes if she's there.
If not, there's Bethany or Renee or another coach.
They jump on those calls.
We have all sorts of different activities,
but the one that will be very similar to this
would be what's called Love Seat.
And typically to get in the Love Seat,
because there's so many people,
you kind of have to watch for that post
of when we're having the Love Seat.
And if you want to put yourself in the Love Seat
to ask a question,
then you would have to like say,
hey, can I be on the list?
And then you'll get to ask your question.
We also have in that phase, we call it Ask Jackie.
And so there's a form under your resources
when you get to that phase
where you can type your questions
and Jackie tries to answer those questions once a month
and she'll do like a live.
Because then you ladies will also be invited
to a Facebook group once you go to phase three.
We have the app
and then we also have a Facebook group as well.
So that there's sometimes she'll just jump in
and do lives on Facebook,
because we're still trying to figure out
how to do that here.
Does that help?
Yes.
Okay.
And did you reply back on one of your posts that I...
Yes.
Okay, I'm gonna make sure I go back and look.
Did I respond or are you still waiting on a response?
Still waiting.
Okay.
Let me get to that here in the next day or two, okay?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All right, Sam, you're up next.
Okay.
I'm trying to decide
if I wanna ask something personal or practical.
Well, which one do you feel God is leading you more to?
I feel like the personal one will be more helpful
for the girls in the group.
Okay, go for it.
So, and I wrote it down to be concise as well.
So I see you attract the type of men
that want to be overly romantic,
like immediately calling you sweetie
or stuff like that, right?
Or if they're definitely Christian,
they jump straight into like, well, do you want kids?
Like, I feel like automatically they're like,
I don't wanna waste my time with you if you don't,
you know, like, I feel like that's God protection
in a lot of ways.
And I love the advice you've already given
in the community where it's like,
I don't have to talk about that stuff
with somebody I don't know.
So I'm definitely leaning into that
to these conversations that are initially starting
in dating apps with guys.
But I also know that Jackie talks about
you attract what you want,
and I don't really know how to attract
what I think I want for myself.
Okay.
Like, I don't have a clue what's at the root of that,
and I'd love to hear what Holy Spirit's
Okay, sounds good.
Yeah.
So yeah, that comes from the,
what you believe you become,
and what you become you attract.
So let's dive into what are you believing
about men and being overly romantic?
Is there anything that comes up?
Yeah, like what kind of,
when these men are being
very affectionate, early out the gate,
what thoughts, anxious feelings, fears,
is there a disgusting thought that comes,
like, what are those thoughts that come up?
And then what does it remind you of?
Like, what feels familiar about it?
Because it could be something that you're believing
that goes away in the middle of the night.
but rooted sometime in the past.
Yeah.
Is anything coming up?
It actually, it creeps me out
is the words that I wanna use.
And it also like makes me think of a lot
of past relationships that I've had
that started with the physical.
Okay.
And I know that that has been rooted
in this idea that like,
they don't actually wanna get to know me
unless they know that part of me first.
Okay.
Like I'm not worth getting to know.
There.
And that started with the very first
like sexual relationship I had.
Okay.
I mean, like we had such great emotional connection,
like we did not believe the same things.
And I was like, no, I don't want to.
And he was like, well,
I can't have a relationship without it.
And, you know, and it just, it was a thing.
Like, and it just developed over time.
And like kept crossing little boundaries,
little boundaries, little boundaries.
And then finally I gave in, you know.
Yeah.
I relate to this so much.
So that's what I wanna get to.
Cause so we're talking about past relationships.
And so then you kind of go into
what is it that you're believing?
And you have this belief
that they don't wanna get to know you.
That's all they want you for
cause you're not worth getting to know.
So that's right there is one of those core lies
that God is gonna want to start healing.
Keep working on it.
He's working on it.
Okay.
And so I can speak that to,
I can speak to that a little bit
cause I've struggled with that myself.
Cause the same thing happened to me.
You know, I passed relationships, things like that.
I thought the only way that I was worth getting to know
and being loved was if I had sex.
And so,
that literally was like, I'm not worth anything else.
And one thing that God took me through
when I came in this program,
he showed me where that lie got rooted in.
And I can share part of mine.
It doesn't have to be yours.
Maybe this is gonna help somebody else.
And so that's why I will share it.
And it doesn't mean that I don't have other layers
that still need to be healed in this area.
Okay.
What I will say is it's really awesome
when God kind of starts showing you.
And one thing, when I started HeartWork back in 2020,
this is one of the first HeartWork things that I did
because I was like, why do I believe this?
Like, why am I putting myself in these situations?
Or why are these men coming to me?
Like, I don't think, I know that I'm worth more.
God says that, but why is it not hitting there?
And I'm like, God, like, where did this come from?
And praying into that,
it took me a little while to pray into.
God took me back to my teenage years.
Y'all, I was a late bloomer.
I didn't get my little monthly visitor
until I was about 14 years old.
Okay.
And that already in of itself, like when all your friends,
I mean, my, you know, like when all your friends
are getting it and you don't,
like I remember feeling like I'm different.
I mean, as weird as that sounds,
like now I'm like, oh my gosh,
like, ugh, like whoever really wanted to have that.
But I started feeling different.
And so I was 14 and I got my monthly visitor
and my dad, God love him.
Okay.
And, you know, God had to just show me my dad's heart
and understand like where it was coming from.
My dad is like, I'm a daddy's girl through and through.
He's very protective.
And again, God showed me through the years
why my dad was protective.
Things that happened to, you know, my cousins, his nieces,
things that happened to his sister,
things that happened to his mother,
why he was very protective of me as a daughter,
but he bought me flowers.
And, you know, that was a really sweet gesture, you know?
Of course, as a 14 year old girl,
you're like, oh my gosh, dad, stop, right?
And I, but I remember what he said.
And he said, and again, I know,
and I didn't even take it then,
but what he said, he may had good intentions for it,
but I see where it got twisted.
He said, Carla, I'm the only man
that's ever gonna buy you flowers
that's not gonna want something from you.
That in of itself, again, I do not fault my dad at all.
Like God, I mean, I forgave my dad for that.
I mean, that was the forgiveness part
that I had to walk through in my heart work,
but I forgave him for it because God showed me
that it was just something that the enemy
was trying to twist and lie to me about,
but my dad really was trying to be a good father.
He just didn't get it right, you know, and that's okay.
But it sat there and it got rooted
and it like the enemy was able to sit here
and toy with me with that,
so that through the years
when I was being rejected in high school,
you know, I wasn't the popular girl,
I wasn't super pretty, guys didn't wanna date me,
none of that, you know?
And so that in of itself, that rejection,
it got so rooted and so I started believing
that's what it was tied to.
That the only way a man could love me
is if I gave my body to them
and that's where the root started.
And so once I could release that,
it just opened up more doors
because I started to realize that's not what all men want
and then I was able,
and it doesn't mean that those guys didn't approach me.
What I saw was I knew how to spot them
sooner rather than later
and I knew how to recognize it,
I knew how not to get offended by it
and I could just easily move on
and not even skip a beat
because to me, I already knew,
I'm like, the enemy is trying to like literally tempt me
but he's forgetting I've overcome that.
God's already done that for me.
And I could just move on
and then he could no longer use that anymore.
So I hope that gives you some encouragement
to spend some time with the Lord more in that process
of just going and searching,
asking him to reveal where did that lie get rooted in,
this belief that they don't wanna get to know you,
they don't wanna get to know you,
that you're not worth anything because that is a lie
and God is coming in because he's gonna heal that.
Yeah, absolutely, he's already healed layers of it too.
Like the biggest one
that I think he's really worked on me with
because I didn't have my dad at 14,
also started then but also got really sick.
Like I didn't have my next one until I was 16
and I lost all my hair
and I've really had thin hair since then.
So that's been a real struggle in general,
like feeling valuable or like pretty,
all those things like we've worked on stuff but-
Yeah, so that memory right there,
I got Holy Spirit goosebumps on that one.
Spend time in prayer with that this week.
Let your heavenly father just wrap his arms around you
and just show you things that maybe you didn't see before
and allow him to come in and fill those spaces in your heart
where you just felt like you weren't enough, okay?
And then if you feel comfortable,
come and let us know what God's doing.
And thank you, Sam, for sharing that vulnerable piece.
I'm so thankful that you shared that.
It encouraged me to share my vulnerable testimony in that.
And just, this is what this program is all about, ladies,
is it's opening up and sharing those pieces
because we all can get healing from it.
We can, right?
All right.
Hey, Lori, I'm gonna hold off on you
because I know you and I are very similar
and we like to talk.
So if you don't mind to kind of wait till the end,
I'm gonna let Alicia go
because I do see her hand up
and I don't think I've ever gotten to her in the past
and I feel like I skip her often.
And so I do not want to do that.
So if you don't mind, Lori,
because I know you and I could just get talking.
And then I did wanna share something else
and if I don't get to it.
I will try to remember to get it to it next week.
And then Sarah shall, like, if I don't get to it,
I will, myself or Bethany will respond
and we can unpack that a little more.
And if we need to, we'll unpack it next week.
Sound good?
Okay, perfect.
All right, Alicia, you're up.
Hey, how are you?
Good.
Okay, so this is interesting.
I mean, all good things are going on here.
Took your advice weeks ago and ended up
still on my role on, you know, diving deep spiritually
early on with those states.
So I met a really great guy and he's wonderful
and it's good and things are going great.
The thing that I have a question about
is he's really excited about me
and wants to tell the world.
And I'm-
Well, of course, of course, you're awesome, right?
Right, right, right.
Catch.
I mean, yeah, look at me, right?
So I just do not know how to navigate this
because I, and this was something that came up
in conversation last night with him over the phone
and I didn't realize that I have a really sore spot
with being really public about my life.
Okay, sorry.
From past wounding.
Okay.
And so he's like,
I'm gonna post a picture of us on Facebook.
And I'm like, oh, you are?
Okay, I don't know how I feel about that.
And then he had asked me to have a coffee date
with him yesterday and we both work in the medical field
and at different locations.
And so I met over at the hospital,
the children's hospital here and conveniently,
like multiple coworkers were like,
oh, this is your girlfriend, this is your girlfriends.
And I'm like, okay.
So yeah, but we're like-
Did he post that photo?
Yeah, yeah.
He did.
Did he tag you in it?
Yeah, and his friends are trying to friend request me
and I'm like, I can't do this.
You don't have to do that.
How long have you guys known each other?
September 2nd was the first day we started talking.
Okay.
On the app, on the app.
And then we met in person about two weeks later
and it's just moving a lot faster than I'm comfortable with.
Yeah, absolutely.
So you basically just met in person a week ago.
Sorry, can you repeat that?
Yeah, that's fine.
So you guys met on the app on September 2nd.
You met two weeks after that in person,
which would be the 16th, which was last week.
Oh, sorry.
Then it would have been two weeks ago.
So I didn't math that right.
Yeah, so we met about a week after.
A week after.
Okay, so you guys have seen each other in person
for about two weeks.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, sorry, I'm looking at my calendar
because I'm again, I can understand again,
like this is bringing up some old wounds.
Again, this is all, dating will do this ladies.
Dating will bring up those little areas
that God wants to kind of start working through.
Don't be scared of it.
Okay.
Have you gotten to watch the boundaries video yet?
Yeah, yeah.
And I'll go back up.
Yeah, that's coming up because here's the thing.
Now you guys are in relationship.
Are you saying you're low?
I mean, has he asked you to be in level three yet?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, he's like, can we be exclusive?
And I just said, absolutely.
Like, I'm not interested in anyone else on the app.
Okay, perfect.
So this is that time where you guys are at a level three.
So again, ladies, when I'm coaching her,
keep this in mind, she's in level three.
If you ladies are in level two,
don't think that you're gonna walk through this yet, okay?
You wait till you're at level three and you've led.
So she had, I'm assuming you had a piece about saying yes,
that yeah, let's go exclusive and that's fine, okay?
Follow that, okay?
People don't have to get married to people
that are in level three, okay?
So this is when you are getting to know each other
more now on a romantic level.
And so you're gonna be put in situations and scenarios
where you're really gonna see like
how y'all work through conflict
and how he's gonna honor your boundaries, okay?
This is also an opportunity for you to go through
and again, spend time processing with the Lord.
Like what about your past relationships?
What about being public about things scares you?
What fears and thoughts are driving that fear?
And let's see what comes to surface
and if there's some healing that needs to take place there.
Okay, so that's important first for you.
Okay, this is, now that's,
regardless of where this relationship goes,
God's using this opportunity to heal in this area.
Okay, that's what we're focusing on there, okay?
Now, as far as moving forward with him,
we're not gonna attach ourselves to the outcome.
We're going to walk this out with,
okay, now I have an opportunity
to see how he's gonna show up and how I show up.
And if there's any other areas
that I need to work on in relationship,
maybe it's gonna highlight something to him
or it's gonna highlight something to me about him.
It's okay for you to be honest with him.
It's okay to communicate.
Communication in these level threes
and in romantic relationships,
if you're like me, they can be a little scary,
especially because if you've had past relationships
where there's been hurt there.
Y'all, I've been married two years
and I'm just now at a point where I can go to my husband
and be really vulnerable with him
because I know he's a safe space.
It took me a while.
It took me even being married to him.
I had moments of that,
but there were still just certain things
that I was very close off to.
And so it's a process of allowing yourself
to communicate with another person
and open your heart to them.
And again, I'm not gonna say just throw it all out there,
but this is the opportunity where you can have
like, hey, when this is happening,
when this situation happened,
like when you wanted to post and when you tagged me
and your friends are asking to request me
and when I met you for coffee
and everyone's coming up to me like I'm your girlfriend,
this is what I was feeling
and this is why these are things that happened to me.
And then you can express that to him
and then you can even share.
And I would say, go to the Lord first
and process this first before having a conversation.
Good.
And then figure out what is it that you need?
What boundary do you need to put in place?
If you feel like you need some time before this official,
express that, make him aware
that it's not you rejecting him.
It's just you having to go through this process.
I did that with my husband.
He wanted to make it Facebook official
and I was like, can we wait?
It threw him off.
But once I explained to him like where my heart was
and my explanation to him was different, I don't know.
So as to why I wanted to hold off.
Because when we started dating
and we knew we were kind of going
in a direction of marriage,
I did not wanna invite the public into that situation
because I was older.
I was in my late thirties.
I had a child, I'd never been married.
People knew that I wanted to be married and was dating.
People knew that I'd get excited about somebody
and then the relationship would end
or I'd end up in a toxic relationship.
I didn't, especially on Facebook,
I didn't want negativity in the spirit.
I didn't want that going out there
and then people having comments and sharing their thoughts,
even if they weren't sharing it with me,
if they said it out loud or they're saying it in their head,
they're releasing that in the spirit.
And I'm like, absolutely not.
I do not want that out there.
I want to slowly let people know
that I'm partnered with,
that spiritually are walking this journey with me,
that are praying for me.
And that was important.
I'm like, let me talk to those people.
I let this community know very early on.
I didn't let my social media community know.
I let this community know and then I got prayed over
and I just soaked in that.
I prayed over myself.
I prayed over the relationship.
My friends prayed over me, Jackie,
like all the leaders, everyone poured into that
to where I felt
Okay, God's got me, I'm covered in prayer, and then just naturally, God's like, okay,
now it's time.
And it didn't even take me that long, I think it was like a couple of weeks.
And then I was good, because again, that was my reason.
And when I expressed that to him, my husband, such a honorable, masculine, mature man, just
honored that boundary.
And ladies, they exist.
Honorable men exist out there, I promise.
Thank you.
This is his opportunity to honor that.
And you'll get to see things.
And you've got a community here.
So whichever way it goes, or whatever, like, if there's a road bump or something that comes,
you got us here.
Thank you.
Okay, you just share it with us, say, hey, I did this, this is what happened.
What do I do?
Coaches help me.
And we got you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All right, Lori, you're next.
How are you?
It's always so good to see you.
Oh, thanks.
You too.
Gosh, I so just like getting on the vulnerability train, like I so relate with your story and
what you shared.
And yeah, like I've encountered the Lord in that place of like, you know, why I went to
intimacy before I, you know, like, was so afraid to be known.
But yeah, and the Lord actually went into this, like, just I wasn't gonna say this,
but like the Lord just even encountered me in this space where and maybe this is for
Sam, too, if that's okay, but like, the Lord just like encountered me in this place that
I could never make sense of, I had this reoccurring nightmare as a child, that there was this
guy that would come up real fast, they'd drive like recklessly into the driveway in a black
suit and he'd chase me to the on the driveway to the garage door, and I could never make
sense of like, why it was a recurring nightmare.
Then I was like, went into this encounter.
And like, maybe then, like, days later, I was looking at old photos in that car, that
getaway car that he drove was a car that we had early on in childhood.
And my Lord, my, the Lord showed me that this was actually a spirit of abandonment, that
I know that my dad, like, had things where he was like, not faithful, and showed me that
I was feeling the energy of him leaving.
And so it was just like, it was, I could never I'm like, that was a real car.
Like Oh, my word.
Like I was just so like,
And then once that once you realize that, like, what did God?
Did God start showing you where he was at?
And all of that?
And have you worked through that?
I have encountered the Lord in like him, he'll like, bring me then into a scene of who my
parents were in the spirit, and who he made them to be without any of this.
Yeah, I go into these encounters with my parents completely whole, completely, like, full of
Yeah, it's like crazy.
But so yeah, yeah.
That's Oh, thank you for sharing that.
Yeah.
Yeah, 100%.
Like, it's so interesting, like, in that moment, like you realize it was something that came
from, you know, the past, and that allowed you an opportunity to get healing and for
God to come in and show you all of that so that you can release that and you don't have
to take on any sort of spirit of abandonment.
Like you can cast that out because God's showing you what what he created your parents to be.
And, and that in of itself sometimes allows that, you know, area of that compassion at
times where it's just it can, it can really, really move us and heal us.
So, Laurie, thank you so much.
All right.
I don't know if Caitlin actually, that wasn't the reason why I hopped on.
I was sure you're gonna have to be short, brief and powerful, because I want to get
to Kim and I'm guessing that Caitlin might still be driving.
So Caitlin, if you're still on, post in the app so that we can respond to you.
And I'm just now noticing I'm not seeing any of the feed in the chat.
So I got to scroll through.
So I apologize if y'all put stuff there and I haven't responded.
All right.
Short, brief and powerful.
Laurie, let's go.
So this is going back to that guy, Jay, that is out in Southern California, the one that.
I had felt like I had the vic that I had the victory over.
Okay. And then God just gave me the word just stand. And then
just like experiencing like really God confirming that I do
hear from him well. And so it's just like the next day that that
I then a pastor that I had at ministry school posted this.
No way. And it's a book. And I know I know we don't share like
resources on Yeah, I mean, you can show me the book title. We
don't have to like go into detail about it. So I didn't
know it was a book. So then I just posted like a he's a he's
a prophet. And he and so it's just like such a big deal to me.
So then I was like, okay, like I'm starting to ask like more
questions like what is just stand mean? Because I don't want
to just be like, laying on my sofa going, okay, this is what
just standing like, what does it practically mean? So I asked him
the question, then the next day, I realized it was a book. So
then I'm like, well, God is so on this. So I ordered it and it
just came today. And in the meantime, like Jay, he's like,
so I remember like processing like he like felt like it was
like a familiar spirit, but it's like, it is but it isn't.
So I'm, I'm questioning. And I don't want to sit in confusion.
So I'm like saying things out loud again. Okay. But like, he's
like, not like other people, like from the standpoint that he
doesn't just like, when I asked set a boundary, he honors it.
And I never did say anything after our last, well, I said one
that same evening of our last conversation. And I was thinking
I was going to move forward with it the next morning. And then I
heard the Lord say, not this one. Yeah. And, and then the
just staying came. But like, so he, he did on and like he went
away. And like in past times, they would have like kept just
kept on coming. So it's like he did. He honored my boundaries.
And he, he, he was never like smothering. And there was
something different in the fact that like, I actually really
felt like I could be myself. And I felt like there was this, it
felt like in the beginning, I would say, I feel like, oh, this
is what a spirit to spirit connection feels like. Because I
just felt like I could. I didn't ever share
inappropriately. I, I felt like there were good boundaries. And
yeah, like he he just messaged. So he didn't message for like a
week. And then he messaged and then I didn't say anything
because I just thought I'm just supposed to stand and then maybe
like a week later, maybe it's been a couple of weeks and he
posted and he's like, Oh, this movie, like, I just watched this
movie and he sent a picture of himself and he like so gorgeous.
And
this to you to like, after two weeks?
Yeah. Okay. And then, and then he just watched Jeremy camps
movie. And oh, yeah, eyes remind me of yours. And it's the movie
I still believe. And like I watched the movie, which I love
faith movies anyway, but I watched the movie and it was
just like so crazy how there were so many like messages in it
that felt like felt like me and our story and as the way I've
experienced the Holy Spirit speaking to me about like, am I
so like used to, like defending myself and fighting things off
that I'm fighting off a good thing.
Okay. Yeah, there's definitely some confusion there, isn't
there? Coming in? Because we don't have a whole lot of time.
I want to I do want to respond to you. But this is going to be
one I am going to have you kind of sit with the Lord some more
with. Because I think there's a lot to kind of unpack here. A
few things that I want to mention when you said he's
honoring your boundaries. Were you clear to him that you no
longer were going to engage and getting to know him and that
you were moving forward? Like how did you? Nope, I fell off.
Okay, so you were so you weren't clear in your boundaries. So how
can we judge if he's honoring your boundaries if we're not
being clear in what our boundaries are? Okay, I want you
I just want you to process that. Okay. So I need to be clear.
Yeah, let's practice being clear.
Another thing that just came to my mind, too, when you were talking about it, and it resonated
with me, because what God was showing me in my dating process is, yes, there are guys
that are different.
They're not the same, right?
There may be familiar spirits, but it doesn't mean that they're the same, and so God would
show me that all these men are different, and it also was an opportunity for me to see
how good men did exist.
There are still good qualities, and ladies, don't be surprised that you're going to go
on dates with a couple, handful, who knows how many men, and they're all going to be
good guys.
I mean, you might go out with some that are not so great, but believe it or not, you may
go out with some really great men that are not your spirit mate, and it's okay.
We want to see a bunch of good men out there.
Just because that one good man isn't for us doesn't mean we have to hold onto that as
rejection or that there's not somebody out there for us.
It just means that this lie of there not being good men actually is a lie.
There are good men out there, so it could even possibly be that God's just revealing
to you that, hey, I have good men out there.
It's not a small pond.
Be open.
I'm bringing them to you, so if you do believe that you really did hear the Lord tell you
this is not Him, it doesn't mean that you can't glean something from it, okay?
But again, I want you to kind of sit and go with that again.
Go back to Him honoring boundaries.
What boundaries is He honoring that you've been clear with, and can He honor your boundaries
if you're not clear with what your boundaries are?
Yeah.
Okay?
All right.
Kim, I got you.
How are you?
Okay, so mine's real quick.
You had asked me to let you know after I went on my first date, so I did go on my first
date last Wednesday.
How did it go?
We're talking, it's been 26 years, so being on a date was a bit uncomfortable, but I'm
open to it and willing.
He was nice, but just definitely not, I don't think, a match for me.
The first thing he said was, well, I thought we'd just order off the appetizer menu.
So I'm thinking, okay, does that mean appetizer and food?
Because I'm not really that hungry, and I didn't say anything, but, oh, actually I did.
I said, do you mean appetizer and food?
He goes, oh, no, one or the other.
And I'm like, okay, whatever you'd like.
And so he says, well, he said, I think we should order, maybe I'll order pizza so I
can take the rest home.
It's just like, okay, okay, whatever you'd like.
And he was just very socially awkward.
I mean, he even shared that with me that he's been single, he's never been married, and
I'm finding, and I knew this was going to be the case, and probably you're going to
tell me there are some men out there, but I'm very active for my age.
I'm 66, but I swim five miles a week.
I play pickleball four to five times a week.
I'm very active, very young, and activity-wise, I do a lot.
And I'm going to find people in my age that are not, that are not that way.
And he came with the key.
It's true, but if that is part of who you are and that's how you enjoy life, aren't
you going to want someone that can also enjoy that life?
Oh, for sure.
So I don't want you to think that's a negative thing.
Again, it doesn't mean that you don't go out on first dates if someone's not active, but
as you, you know, again, this is dating for discovery.
Like one thing that I felt like when you were saying that, I was just like, I want to celebrate
is you used your voice.
And I don't know, like that comes with maturity because as you get older, you don't, you don't
settle for things like you used to, and you become more confident in a way that you, I
mean, and I get, yeah, what you're saying.
Like, as we get wisdom, we kind of learn like, okay, it's okay for me to communicate what
it is.
that I need or what's not okay.
It's, it's communicating those boundaries.
Like, and you were just trying to be clear, like, all right, like
an appetizer and then we get a meal or just the appetizers.
And so you got clarification about that.
And then, you know, some, some things you said that would
have thrown me off to absolutely.
And so, but I like that you like, you didn't have to do in a way, like
what I'm hearing in your voice, it didn't sound like you were so
offended that you were ready to cut him off right then and there.
No, no.
And I realized that someone, and he shared with me that he has, um, I've
worked with, I've been a counselor and I work with disabled disabled.
And so he shared with me that he has OCD and obsessive compulsive.
I mean, he has disorder and so socially awkward.
And he, I, and just listening to him, he never kept a job for
more than three or four years.
He kept moving from job to job.
He doesn't have a permanent home.
I think he's renting and he he's, he has a very giving heart and he gives things
away, but he's just not, um, he's so, um, I can tell you that most of our
conversation was all about, he says, I'm just waiting for the rapture.
I'm just waiting for the rapture to happen.
And so I'd say half the conversation was about that.
And I'm like, I'm ready to live.
I mean, I guess if God is, is, is, you know,
kind of waiting for that.
Like you're supposed to live each day as though like it's your last and you're
like, just trying to like, go out and like, do like, we don't want to neglect
this beautiful life that we are given because we don't know when it's going
to happen.
So God forbid, we're just sitting there waiting for it to happen.
And then it doesn't happen for like another couple hundred years or so.
Well, we just wasted this like beautiful God.
Oh yeah.
He's like, yeah, like, yeah, he's just waiting.
He's just waiting.
And he thinks it's going to be, um, he thought today or Thursday because of the
feast of the trumpets and there's all these things that are lining up and yes,
it could be, I don't know.
And he, and he tells us, we won't know the day or time.
So he told me he was having a hip replacement at the end of the month or at
the end of October.
And I said, so if the rapture is going to happen, why are you, why did you skip
hip replacement?
And, um, so anyway, it was just a, it was a conversation.
I think again, this is a win for you because you got on your first date.
You, you put it into practice.
Ladies, it's a yes until it's a no.
And I mean, it's okay for her to say this is a no.
She, she saw some really good qualities in him.
He's, he's generous.
He like, didn't you say he was, um, he had a kind spirit or gentle.
Yeah.
So she's, she's recognizing some qualities and characteristics that she finds
admirable.
Right.
And those are things that she probably likes about him.
Right.
But she's also seeing some other things about herself that, yeah, I really desire
someone that's going to be active with me and someone that, you know, is going to
enjoy life.
And it's a no, because he's not doing that.
And it's not that he's wrong or, you know, he's just got his own walk.
So whatever God's like, we got to trust that God's going to work something out for
him.
Right.
And so it doesn't have to be your spirit mate.
And it doesn't mean that like, and again, it's not like you're rejecting him.
Like, I know sometimes we pick that up, like, and I'm not saying that you're doing
this, Kim.
I just feel Holy spirit wants me to share this with ladies, because I see this often
in this phase where women are afraid to say it's a no because they're don't want to
hurt somebody.
Ladies, it's okay for it to be a no.
We just ask you to kind of have some balance there of give it a shot, give it two or
three dates.
If it's only one day and you recognize, okay, this is a no for me.
And these are reasons why that's okay too.
Okay.
When we, when we ask you ladies, those questions, we're just prompting you
because again, we're trying to see if there's anything that the Lord wants to
reveal.
And we want to help, help you reveal that.
Like we want to help God reveal that to you.
We're here as a, as a resource for God to use.
If there's any area of healing that you need now, Kim, I don't.
I think this is, you approach this very healthy.
I don't see any areas that you're blocked.
So I'm sensing like you're just discovery dating and we're going to celebrate that
you went on your first date. You're using your voice,
you're communicating clearly. You are, you know, again,
he's not your person,
but you didn't devalue him because he wasn't your person.
And that's important ladies too.
Cause these guys that you go on a date with, they may not be your person,
but they're still human. Okay.
We got to give grace. We do. Yes. Okay.
And I, the other thing is he's so he's people that have been single for as long
as I have. And he has, there's you, you,
you can pick up on that sometimes the inflexibility of someone and you get set
in your ways and you're, you do it this way. And this is who I am.
And I known that was going to be something that God's going to work out. You know,
I really trust him with that because I haven't dated in 26 years.
I've been waiting for the man that God was going to put into my life and didn't
think I was going to have to date around to for that to happen.
But I'm in this program and I'm challenged. And so I'm doing that.
But but you know, that's the other thing is as when you get up
when you're older and you've been single for a long time, you,
you pick that up in conversation that it's, it was, you,
you have to be careful not to be self-focused. Yeah. And I sent,
I really picked that up from him. Very nice man. But I felt like it was,
he was very self-focused and that's the thing is because then in marriage,
like you can't be self-focused, like you're like,
that's not marriage. You know, you're serving the, your spouse. And I mean,
and it's understandable if he's never, if he's never been married before,
you know, he's 71, 71. Yeah. He's older. Yeah.
So, I mean, again, I think you did wonderful.
You did it. You, you like, you cut the rope, right?
You cut that ribbon and now it's just, okay, I got that done.
And now you can just, you know, just keep bringing them on. Right.
All right. Yes. Yes. All right, ladies, Caitlin, I'm sorry. I didn't get to you.
Stephanie. I can't get to you either. I know we're like 15 minutes over Caitlin
and Stephanie. Can you please, please,
please post in our app and I can try to get to that.
At least by Thursday I should have time to really,
really process through a lot of y'all's posts.
I know I've got to catch up on some.
I'm not sure if Ebony's been able to tag up on some of those as well.
Just know we are going to get to you. Stephanie,
I saw you have it in the chat, but yeah, if you can,
are you, I don't want to close out or think,
are you able to copy and paste because I don't want you to lose it if you've
typed it.
I'm trying to do that right now.
Okay. Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll,
I'll keep talking for like another minute so that you can copy and paste it.
I got it. Thank you.
Okay, good. All right. And then Caitlin, same to you.
I know, I don't know if she's still on. I think she might've done off. Nope.
She's still here. Caitlin, um, go in the app, like let us know,
give me an update. I know we've unpacked some stuff, um, a couple of weeks ago,
so I want, I definitely want an update and know how you're doing. Okay.
All right, ladies have a blessed rest of your day, your week.
Don't forget to lean into the Sabbath. What is God revealing to you? Okay.
And then, um, get ready, get ready,
get yourself, you know, like just throw on some mascara, whatever, you know,
get out. You never know who you're going to meet. All right.
I'm going to practice that myself,
even though I'm always leaving the house super early with my kids.
I'm not a morning person. Y'all like, once I get up, I'm like, good,
but it is hard for me to get out of my bed. Um,
and so I typically,
that's one of the reasons why is because, um,
then I have no time to get ready.
So I'm going to challenge myself this week to do that.
So if anybody else wants to join me, um,
we'll cheer each other on this week. All right.
Have a blessed rest of your day ladies. Appreciate you all.