Hey, everyone.
Happy Tuesday.
So glad to have you all joining us for another love story edition.
I'm so excited about our guest tonight, both couples, my husband's going to be jumping
on here in just a few minutes.
So glad again to have you all joining us.
There's so many things that we're going to be able to unpack and talk about tonight.
I can't wait to have this conversation.
Both of these couples, if you don't, well, a lot of you may know Renee, you might not
know her Brian yet.
We're going to have my Brian on here tonight too.
And then some of you may know Annette Bridge or Jared, but they are also a success story
in our community.
Both of these couples are amazing.
We're going to have a lot to learn tonight and we're going to be able to hear just different
aspects of not only, you know, what was God doing in them before God brought them together,
but also when God brought them together, what did God start doing in them after that point?
Because we know that there's more revealings for healing that happen even after we get
into relationship.
We've learned the last couple of times we've done love stories.
So many times we have to surrender so many things on our list.
And sometimes that can be just things that we didn't even think would, you know, bother
us or things that, you know, we didn't think would be a hindrance.
And then God's like, okay, yeah, get rid of this on your list.
And then through that, God brings us to our people.
So awesome.
So I'm going to go ahead and pray for us.
And then I'm going to just for my, my lovely couples guests, the way we're going to do
it is I will ask you all as individuals to share one after each other.
So like, we'll start with Annette and Jared, just a little bit about from your perspective,
your story of how God brought you all together.
What were some things that God was doing in you regarding the heartwork?
How was he preparing you for your spirit mate and bringing you together?
And then, you know, just a couple little things just about your story.
And when God brought you together, were there things that God was asking you to surrender
to him?
What were the joys that you were experiencing, as well as just maybe a couple things you
had to work through?
And then the other person in the couple will share.
And then I'll have Renee and Brian go.
And from there, we'll kind of, I'll pull out other questions that I want to ask you all.
I did ask both couples, if there was anything off limits, I think I asked that.
So if there is anything off limits, and I didn't ask you that message that to me, so
that I don't ask it, because we like to have a lot of fun.
And I really love to just flow with the conversation.
Because of the things that you all share, because everybody that's here tonight, there's
just so many layers to how God brought them together and the beautiful unfolding of their
stories.
And I've had the pleasure of getting to know Annette and Jared quite a bit over the last
few years.
And Renee, of course, getting to work with her, Brian, I'm so excited.
This is my first time meeting you.
I have been waiting for this day.
Love it.
And for our community, we've been waiting for Brian and for Jared to get to know you
all better as well.
So let me pray for us.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
Thank you for everything that you're doing in these incredible couples.
Thank you for Annette and Jared's wedding.
Thank you for their covenant that they've already made.
Thank you, God, for Renee and Brian, for their wedding day that is soon approaching.
God, we ask you to bless tonight, bless the conversation, let the Holy Spirit flow in
the things that they even feel led to share.
Lord, we thank you that we'll have fun, that we'll laugh, but we'll also learn a lot from
each other.
And we just thank you for your presence being here with us.
In Jesus name.
Amen.
I think I saw my hubby was on, so I'm going to pin him real quick.
Hello.
Just want to say, Renee, he's got a great name and he spells it correctly.
So nice to meet you, Brian.
Oh my gosh.
This is a Brian thing.
I understand all the Brians, then when they meet each other, this is something they talk
about.
All right.
So I'm going to have Annette and Jared go first.
Again, if y'all just share a little bit about, you know, your love story and how God brought
you all together.
Hey, everyone.
I'm Annette and this is my husband, Jared.
So I guess I'll share first and then Jared will go.
I was, I'm divorced or was divorced and I was divorced for about seven years before
we got married.
And in that time period, God did a lot of work in my heart.
I went through divorce care and also had done.
Some life coaching and just started working on myself because I knew that someday I would
like to be married again, but I also knew that I needed to have a lot of healing done
too.
I had to, I have two kids.
They were six and eight when I had gotten divorced.
And so they were pretty young.
So I had dated twice, um, and the year of 2022, I had felt that I just got done going
through relationship.
And I felt that God wanted me to take that whole year off and just really work on myself.
And I think it was around March or April of that year that my cousin sent me a link to
Jackie's group.
And I was like, oh my word.
So I listened to her like free trial.
I was like, I really want to do this.
I'm like, God, I really want to do this.
And so, um, I did, I did her heart work.
And in that time, God really worked in my heart on helping me to really come to forgiveness
with my ex and his girlfriend, and also a friendship that I had, um, that I was really
hurt by.
And so that was like a pretty huge breakthrough for me.
And then even in that time, um, I felt a desire to really go into finding a career.
And I was really afraid before that, like to really get out there and put myself in
the public.
I had done cleaning jobs.
I had done online business, but never really worked in public works.
And I kind of really wanted to stretch myself and going through the hard work that happened.
And, um, so then that December I started my career, became an esthetician and, um, I decided,
so I thought, well, I'll start school and then, you know, it's going to be the new year.
So maybe I'll start dating.
And I thought, no, I'm going to wait to go on to any like dating sites or anything like
that.
So I'm done with school, which was in June of 23.
So I did, and it was a good experience by that time, I heard a lot of different stories
from being in Jackie's group.
So I felt more confident doing that.
And I'd actually dated someone for about six weeks, and I'm like, I'm done.
I'm done with this.
And so Jackie had the single nation Facebook group set up, and she has encouraged us to
put our bio in there.
And I did.
And I think it was, it was July, and I saw Jared had put his bio in there.
And I thought, wow, he has really bright, shining eyes, and he looks so happy.
And I thought, Hmm, so I had seen a lot of other girls had like commented welcome and
all that.
But I thought, you know, Jackie had said, go ahead and drop a hanky.
So I thought I'll, I'll friend request him, I looked at his Facebook page, and I'm like,
it looks like we would have some things in common.
And I had specifically been praying for specific things, someone who really loved Jesus, someone
who would pray with me over my kids, because they were by that time, they were in their
teens.
And someone who would love me, like Jesus loves me, and would show me Christ love and
accept me for just as I am.
And because I was struggling with some health issues, too, and like, you know, just had
dealt with some rejection, I'm like, working through that really wanted to have someone
who would really accept me.
And anyways, he didn't accept my friend request right away.
So some of my friends are like, Hey, I'm just sending a message.
I thought, No, I'm gonna wait, I was gonna take my state boards test, right around that
same time.
So I was studying for that, too.
And I was out on my walk.
And I was really thinking about him, I could, by that time, actually, he had accepted my
friend request.
But he hadn't sent me a message.
And I saw he was looking at my stories.
And I thought, Okay, he's checking me out, I think.
So I went out on a walk.
It was a Friday evening, because my state board test was Saturday.
And I was really praying over him.
And I specifically like, Lord, if you want us to get to know each other, like, just haven't
sent me a message.
Well, lo and behold, I got in for my walk.
And he had.
And we were talking ever since.
And we just got married this past June.
So I guess I'll let Jared share now for a little bit.
Yeah, so, um, yeah, I wrote down a few things just to, I didn't want to forget, forget things.
But, um, yeah, so like,
um I actually had been like I had never been married but I was actually in a nine-year
relationship um previously and um that's that kind of helps I think it kind of helped me give
me clarity because like it helped help me realize like what I did and didn't want in a in a
relationship and in a in a wife um and so yeah that helped with that and then like um God led
me to specifically specifically pray for specific things uh that I wanted in a future wife and um
this was of course this was before I met Annette of course and then uh and then I met Annette and
she she like all my answers to prayer were answered in that so yeah that was really good
and um and then like so we were dating and everything and like uh every night we would
pray about um getting married and pray like together I'm saying like over the phone we
would talk over the phone every night and we would like pray together every night and
um just pray about like you get getting married and pray that God would work everything out
and um we included like you know lots of details and like specific details that we wanted we were
hoping to see happen and everything you know and um also the housing too like because I had a house
and she had an apartment so we're trying to figure that out um and so then God bought then uh
eventually we finally came to the decision that it was it was um it was best for me to sell my
house and then move up move here to Annette where Annette lives and so that's what we did and um
let's see um and we like we work really well as a team and um just we like talk things through
work things out and um yeah it's just been going really good
oh yeah so um so basically like what I'm with my personality like I tend to
like go into myself and like pull kind of like pull away that's just my my personality like
but uh since like since being in that nine-year relationship with that previous woman like
and everything I just learned that um and like the taking like Jackie's course and stuff helped
with that and like I've learned um like I basically like learned to uh now I like actively communicate
and like push into the conflict and um instead of like withdrawing from the conflict so that's
really been helpful with that as well so yeah and like um oh yeah I lived uh back when I had my house
I lived an hour and 40 minutes away and um but we would like talk on the phone every night and then
like every weekend I was able to drive up and try to drive into see Annette every weekend um so
that's kind of how we handled that for the most part. He was so great about that because I had
just started working at my sister's store and I was working Saturdays and um he was so understanding
of the fact that I wasn't able to be able to come out very often his direction and he really made it
a point to just come in and see us and that was that was something that really pulled me to him
even more just his patience and his kindness because I was going through a lot even at the
time when we started dating my sister who was like really my support system when I got divorced and
moved into her into this area she moved and so that was a huge like that was a giant I don't know
what what do you want to call it like it was just a really hard time in my life and then starting a
new relationship you know it could have went so south if he was not understanding of that and
um yeah so that was very helpful. I think yeah that's really big I I want to ask you all right
before I go to Renee and Brian as well like what were some fears that you all faced if there were
any when you were starting to date each other did either one of you have any fears that God had to
help you work through to stay engaged which Jared you kind of expressed one of yours in the past you
pull back where God was teaching you to lean into conflict and express like kind of what was on your
mind or heart, but were there any other things that God helped you all, whether it was a fear
or it could have been even just an uncertainty or something that God helped you all work through
to continue to grow closer together versus pull apart?
For me, I don't know. I mean, maybe, I think, I don't know. In my opinion, at least,
who knows what I'll say in like five or 10 years, but in my opinion, I would say
like the fear of rejection, but like, I just, I didn't let that like hold me back though. Like,
because I knew like, I knew I wanted a wife and I knew like, you know, you got to go through the
steps to get a wife. So what is that? You know, like, so. And you took, Jared, you also did the
men's heart work in our community, correct? Yeah. I think some of the people were wondering,
they also did Simbis. Renee and Brian have done Simbis with us as well. And sometimes people do
heart work outside of our community, which is something my husband Brian did. And I think
Renee's Brian also has done. And we'll let them start to share here in just a minute. But was
there anything that came to mind for you, Annette? And it's okay if you don't have anything now,
because we can circle back if something comes up. I'll share this real quick.
So, well, some of the things that I learned in Jackie's group was maybe even some of my
attachment styles, or being drawn to a person who wasn't healthy for me. And when I started
dating Jared, it was so different than what I was used to. And I also was going through my sister
moving, I think all of that was just compact in my mind. And I felt myself starting to really pull
back and like, do I really like him, but I knew he was a great guy. And so I, I scheduled a call
with Jackie because I didn't, I wanted to push into this as if this was something that I needed
to work on in my own life. And she really helped me and she really encouraged me to maybe take a
step back. And I didn't know how Jared was going to respond to that. Like, was he going to be like,
you know what, like, yeah, what's happening here, but he was here again. He didn't get all freaked
out. He didn't get all like, come in like, what's the word I want where texting me all the time,
like he was very gracious in the fact that I didn't want to text as much. Maybe we didn't even
call as much over that time. And like, he gave me that space. And over that time, I was like,
you know what, he really is what I, what I need. Maybe it's not all the crazy butterflies,
but I had this peace. And I always say our, our story is love comes softly because it grew over
time. And I adore him now. I mean, I did then, but yeah, like it, it really, yeah, that was good.
That was good to like call Jackie and yeah. I love that. And I love how you said that. And,
and I would say, you know, Brian and I grew very similar to what you're talking about in the
beginning. You know, I wasn't, you know, I wanted to get to know him and kind of not feel this rush
on things. We, I didn't pull back in the same way that you did, but I felt very similar to what
you're describing. So I love that you wrote that you shared that about the love coming softly. And
I do think that, you know, Jackie emphasizes, it's not always going to be this big rush for
everybody. And I think it's so important for us to remember that. And a lot of times, just now
from my experience, man, the, the consistent love, the consistent patience, the consistent kindness
and faithfulness that Brian has shown me absolutely won my heart 100%. So I love that you pulled that
out earlier in that as well. So thanks for sharing. We'll circle back in just a little bit to have you
guys share more. So I'm going to go over to Renee and Brian to have you guys share a little bit
about your story individually, how God brought you together or whatever, you know, God lays on your
heart. Yeah. Well, I'll, I'll go, I'll go first and I'll go quick. And you guys know a lot of my
story, so I won't tell you that, but I'll just highlight some things that you may not know about.
I mean, I joined the program March of 2021, and I probably came on the team about 12 months,
a year and a half later. And I was the runaway bride. I was the anxious avoidant. I fell in love
and broke up a lot with a lot of people. And then I had a lot of years where I had nobody.
And I started, I became like the online dating queen and I hated online dating, which is why
when Jackie had me teach the online dating class, I was like, oh my gosh, I think God has a funny
sense of humor that I'm teaching the dating class. But I mind you, I still believed I was.
ever going to meet my husband online.
I would have bet my last dollar.
It was not going to happen that way.
Um, and so then I had a couple of relationships and I'm sure when I, by
the time I broke up with the second one at first, Jackie was like, are you
sure you're not being a little picky?
And, but when I told her and Bethany, how that relationship was going down,
they realized I got myself into an unsafe situation and you guys, that
could happen to the best of us.
And I really didn't tell people about it.
And so Bethany made me promise that I would date better in community the next time.
And so I was really intentional about that.
And so I took about six months off from that relationship, kept moving
forward with my friendships, with my health, figuring out how I got there.
You know, somebody who's leading and teaching, how did I, like, how
did that happen for goodness sake?
And, and, uh, both Bethany and Jackie just said, kept just doing the thing,
just kept doing the thing.
And I got back online last December, but as you guys know, when I talk
about getting online, I got only on Facebook dating cause it was free
and I'm in school and I'm cheap.
Um, and I only check it in the morning and I check it at night.
Like I wasn't making a big deal about it.
And you also know, I don't text very long.
And then I moved to a video date or a live date or else bye-bye.
And, um, and so when I met Brian at the end of February, um, it was in a
moment where I was like, I actually had a lot, like, you know, feast
or famine on Facebook dating.
And it was a season where I was, there was a, there was a good number of guys
local, and I remember looking at his profile and he was three hours and 18
minutes away, I had a three hour limit because I'm in school, I don't have time
to travel and I don't have money to travel.
So whatever.
And I thought of Brian and Bethany.
And I remember when Bethany said, when I widened the search, God brought me Brian.
So that came to my mind.
And the fact that his name was Brian spelled the same way, swear to God.
I was like, I think I'm supposed to give this guy a chance.
It was just kind of supernatural.
And his first, you know, I let them re I let them speak to me first.
And there was a cute little sassy photo of me in a pink jumpsuit.
And it was the one photo that was like, it wasn't sexy, but I mean, it was sassy
and it was the one photo, all the men would be like, Hey, and of course
that's the photo he picks, he writes great pick and I'm like, really lamest
star ever, and I wrote nice smile.
And then I will say his very next message was very thoughtful.
And he'll tell you why that's how he started.
Cause I never thought about it from his point of view.
And, you know, we started texting and as you guys know, he started asking
me really good questions right away.
And my common answer was, that's a great question for a video chat.
A lot will get lost in translation as if we keep texting that.
And so he realized after a couple of days of me doing that, he was either
booking a video day with Meryl.
We were moving on.
And, um, so we had our, and here's where I broke all my rules.
Normally I do a zoom link, but he was on vacation with his family.
And I don't know why, cause I might've been tired that day.
And I was like, do you have an iPhone?
He's like, yep.
And I'm like, here's my cell phone.
Let's do a FaceTime visit.
And y'all, this is the photo.
So I'm thinking at some point I'm like, sure.
He's on vacation with his family.
He's probably like, um, with his, like, I thought he was maybe with his
like family, his wife, I'm trying to show up course now it's not coming up.
Okay.
So he sent me this photo.
I'll find it later.
And like, he has sunglasses on in the backgrounds, Florida.
And y'all, it looked like a stock photo.
I'm like, there's no way this dude's going to show up and be this guy.
And of course he was.
And, you know, that was our, that was our shortest conversation,
but it was way too long.
I'm not even gonna tell you how long it was.
Cause I broke all the rules.
It was way too long.
Um, but literally, you know, for the next six weeks, uh, Brian became my best friend.
Like I could, now he might tell you, he knew I was the one right away.
I'm thankful.
He didn't tell me that.
Cause I would have thought that was crazy.
I just knew that I was building a friendship, but he was on vacation
and then I went on vacation.
And he drove 13 hours and left his vacation early just to cross over in
Nashville on his way home from his vacation to catch me before I went to
my vacation for two hours.
And then he got a hotel.
Then I had a fundraising event to go to before I left town.
And so he got a hotel room.
So he got a hotel room to take a nap so he could see me for
one more hour before I left.
So like he, you know how Jackie, Jackie used to say this phrase.
If a man wants to date you, he will cut off his arm and use as
an oar to swim upstream to you.
And that is what he did on the first time.
And that's what he did after that.
Kind of like what Annette said, he was working at a college.
He was an adjunct professor and also working one night a week at a hospital.
And I was like, how are we going to have time to date?
He's like, we're just going to have to be intentional.
And you know, for those first six weeks, he came here.
He drove nearly, it should have been three hours and 18 minutes, but because it rained every blessed the time he drove to me
It took him over four or five hours every time and he did it every weekend
Until and then you know, he was I mean he'll still fill in the blanks more
but he had already been looking for a new job anyway, and
And he'll tell you about the faith question because you guys you know how I give you guys the correct faith questions to ask
He apparently bombed the answers
But he has more than proven
His faith way better than he could have ever answered those questions
Because he found a job in Nashville
Like he was willing to come in as a faculty position and start at a college back at the bottom
And when they did the interview, they actually gave him a different position. That was actually a promotion
So when God is in it, God's gonna put all of the steps together
We never planned for the future those first six to eight weeks
We just continued to get to know each other pretty much. I think the first time he said, I love you
I was literally in the middle of picking up my dog's poop
Like I was bent over and I was like really you're gonna use this moment to say I love you
I don't know how it happened
And my dog is obsessed with her him and I will say per Bethany's advice
I dated him in community like every weekend. I put him in front of every godly married couple not my single friends
But every godly married couple I could find I put him in front of he calls it the Supreme Court confirmation hearings
It is not wrong
But I was waiting for one person on his side or my side to say this is going too fast
This is not right because y'all
One of the things I had to let go of was he'd been divorced twice and that was like
That was almost a deal-breaker for me. Like that was really hard for me to get past that one
So
I'll just pass the baton because Brian's got some really good things to say y'all know my story
She took all the good stuff. Holy spokes. I'm sorry. I'm anyway
I'm also sick to so what she didn't know and why I knew before she knew is
What she didn't know is that me being an educator
I spent a lot of time either in front of students on zoom on phone calls talking to families
Parents kids whatever and I hated talking on the phone hated it with a passion but
That very first phone call that we had there was this I don't know
There was this connection as Annette put it earlier that there was this piece and I can't explain it
I don't even know how to even begin to go about talking about it
But there was this ultimate piece and I was with my family. So she finally figured it out
We were when we did that first FaceTime. I
Was in a condo with my nephews and we had a four-bedroom condo. I was sitting on the lanai
We're on the seventh floor at the top. I got my feet up on the screen window. I'm sitting in a chair
I'm leaned back and here's you know
She thinks I'm on vacation with my family whatever because I sent these stock photos or what-have-you
My nephew comes around and peeks around the corner and looks over the phone and goes, oh
She's cute. And then he realized he then that's when she realized I really was on vacation with my family and
So and it was and we had and you know, I know that she said that you know
She broke all the rules, but we did talk on the phone for a long time
But it was none of this it was no trauma bonding. There was no anxious attachment
It was all we had questions comments answers or whatever. So why did I say great pick?
here's the thing I'd been divorced for almost six years and
I've been on the dating sites and you know, I'd done Facebook dating. I was on it. I was off it
I did eHarmony, you know on and off and and I was just tired and the problem was is that
You you know, everybody's like, oh you got to gear up you got to make that first response something good
You got to pull out those connections and all those pieces and I got to the point where I was doing that and I thought
I was doing pretty well, but obviously I wasn't
and but what what happened was is that I would put all this effort and energy into these responses and I'd get nothing or
I would get
You know
It would be somebody who really wasn't who they claimed that they were and so trying to weed all that stuff out
So I saw this pic. I saw her whole profile. She talked a lot about Jesus. She talked about her faith
She had all of the pieces that I was looking for. I'd done all of this work
With my divorce I'd lost my mom and my brother within a year of each other
So I I mean there was it was a rough time
But I worked and I worked and I worked but every single night I prayed for my wife didn't know who she was
was, but I prayed for my wife.
And I prayed for two things.
That's all I asked God for was two things.
And this is where God has a sense of humor.
I said, God, please just send me somebody
who will love me as much as I love them
and who will strengthen my relationship with you.
And that's all I ever wanted.
And that's all I ever asked for.
And then I got this, you know, I got this,
I sent this great pic.
I'm like, she's got everything in the profile
that I thought was necessary.
And then she responds with nice smile,
but see, she thought she was being sassy back
and I'm going, you responded.
So I'm now in.
So then, yeah.
So when she took that and decided
that it was enough for her to respond,
then I was really, then I was engaged.
And then I started asking those really hard questions.
Hey, you know, one of the hardest questions
I think I asked her was, you know what?
I bet it's really hard for some men to go out
or date you because of all of the things
that you've accomplished.
I saw her profile and I thought, look, good Lord,
she is like super far out of my league.
She sees my profile and she thinks, good Lord,
he's super far out of my league.
And I'm like, and then, I mean, God just would interwoven
connected every piece and it was just so amazing.
But we have to get to the faith question
because this to me is the most hysterical part
of our relationship.
I loved it.
She asked me this question really right
on this first video phone call.
She claims it wasn't, but it was.
And it was pretty short into the call.
And she goes, so Brian, tell me,
how has faith shown up in your life?
And I'm like, I don't know how to answer this question.
I have no idea.
I don't even remember what I answered, but I answered it.
So we go on and we have conversations.
And just like Jared and Annette,
we talked every single day while we were on vacation.
I was on vacation, I had this disposable time.
So we talked, but it wasn't like we texted all day long
and then there might've been a couple of texts
here and there.
And those texts were just to,
when are we going to get together
to have a conversation tonight?
When are we going to FaceTime?
And it got to the point where my sister, hysterical,
she'd look at me because when we're on vacation together,
we play cards.
Every single night we play cards.
She'd look at me and she goes, so Brian,
are you playing cards tonight
or are you going to talk to your girlfriend?
And I said, well, we're not going until nine o'clock.
So I got time to play a game or two.
But so we went through
and we would have these nice long drawn out conversations
and it was back and forth questions.
And again, like she said, she did this video dating thing.
So I got that over with early.
I passed that test when she saw
that I really did look like I was in my picture,
which was amazing, I guess by itself,
because we all know that we've gone out
with those individuals who like,
this is what you said you look like.
And this is what you look like.
They're not the same, right?
So where was I going now?
Back to the faith question.
Cause he thought he answered the faith question well.
So I thought I answered the faith question well.
And well, I thought I had answered the faith question.
We changed subjects, went on the way
and nothing came of it.
Later on we get together
maybe a week or so later and we're talking
and she goes, so Brian,
how has faith shown up in your life?
And I looked at her and I said,
and this is what I knew.
I said, obviously I did not do a very good job
of answering that question the first time.
So I'm gonna just say,
I'm not exactly sure how to answer this question, right?
But then she'll tell you to make a longer story short,
she'll tell you that my faith is just profusely strong
in the sense that it's just unwavering.
I just firmly believe what I believe
and I believe that what God has told me
and I just stand firm on that truth.
And I firmly believed in her.
I firmly believed that he had ordained this relationship
and he has cleared a pathway
that we'll get into that a little bit later
that is just absolutely tremendous.
And so what I said,
and I think I've said this to you guys
in some of the sessions is,
in the next three weeks as I watched him live out.
really difficult things in his life, watching his faith told me a whole lot more than the perfect
answer would have. And I'm so glad that I stayed to watch for the perfect answer instead of hearing
the perfect answer. So that's it. I'll let you ask questions. I love that. I want to pull this out a
little bit more because I think that when I see things people are posting in our groups,
I think we are looking for the perfect answer, you know, to not just the faith question,
but to all of our questions. And I'm not saying we shouldn't put emphasis on those things. We are
looking for people that have good fruit, that are walking in the fruits of the spirit. You know,
if you're a female, you're looking for a man in our community. We teach the three M's, masculine,
marriage minded, and mature, right? So we're looking for those things. But remember that
Jackie talks about being a fruit inspector. So how do we do that? Well, we look at how they live
their life on the good days and the hard days. It's kind of interesting, you all said to you
about the rain, I just want to point this out. So one of the times Brian was driving to meet me,
there was this torrential downpour. And he literally hydroplaned you all off the freeway
on his way to come visit me. So it's kind of ironic that you all had some, some of those days.
But I just, I think there's a lot to say. Not that that had anything to do with where I was going,
but it came up in my mind, and I didn't want to forget to mention it. But I just think there's a
lot to say about. And I would love for Annette and Jared to share on this as well. Were there other
times that God has shown you an answer to something that you all were, you know, wondering about,
where you learned more by seeing each other walk it out versus them saying the right thing. So
you're saying that happened in the faith arena. Did that happen anywhere else? Yeah, there was
like, whenever I would ask him to either do something or say something as we were meeting
people and try to coordinate that. He said something to me once, and it really stood out.
And he just said, Renee, how many times do you have to ask the question? And I say, I'm going
to do it before you actually believe me that I'm going to do it. And I was like, whoa. And
he's like, because I could tell from the tone of your voice that you don't really believe me.
And so if I say I'm going to do it, you have to trust that I'm going to do it.
And that really has taught me. And I still mess up because like for the wedding, we needed buckets,
and I sent him a link to get the buckets, and I assumed he didn't buy the buckets. So we both
ordered the buckets from Amazon, and so now mine has to get returned because he found the cheaper
ones. And so I'm still doing it. And so I would say, I put myself through college. I ran a
nonprofit for 20 years. I've been in charge of every area of my life. And so releasing things
over to Brian and trusting that he has my back and he's going to do what he says he's going to do
has been really humbling and harder for me than I thought it would be. So that's what I'm going
to say. Anything for you? Well, I'm going to add to that. And I think somebody put it in the chat
where they said that actions speak louder than words. And one of the things that I've always
taught my children is that that's all you have, is you have your words and your actions. And if
they don't match, then you have nothing. And so we hold each other accountable, and that's just it.
And we've walked it out the whole time. So whenever we need something, we go to prayer,
and we come back together, and then we look at this and say, this is what we need to do.
And she's like, okay, I got this, you got this. And that's just how we go at it. And it's worked
well. This is such a great conversation that we're having. I want to pull a couple things out.
As soon as you started talking, Renee, what came up in my spirit is the trust factor. Man, the reality
is, even myself, I could resonate so much with what you were saying for different reasons. But just
learning how to trust my Brian, and still even we were, you know, we just had our third
anniversary. And I feel like I'm still learning that in different aspects in different scenarios.
But I also wrote down what I heard, when Brian was sharing, you all made decisions to lean
into relationship. And I heard Jared and Annette say this, instead of pulling away. And, you know,
when you find someone healthy, I think, you know, coming out of agreement with I, you know,
we teach this all the time in the heart work. So I'm going to pull this out right now.
I do it myself, when we are partnering with that, it makes it really hard to partner with trusting
someone with our heart and with things like this is, you know, wedding buckets, but
There's so many other things.
So Pat keeps asking, so I want to make sure to touch on this.
Brian, did you go to counseling?
They're curious.
Yes, Renee is Brian.
Oh, you're muted there.
Yes, I did before I met Renee.
And so I started counseling.
And I mean, there's just a lot of things,
just from childhood all the way up, that I needed to work on.
And like I said, I had my divorce,
and I've lost my mom and my brother
within a year of each other.
I lost a half sister.
I lost three people within basically 18 months.
And so yeah, I did do a lot of work.
And he kept seeing somebody even after we started.
And it's something that we are both committed to.
We're both into like, hey, keep doing counseling.
Keep doing group counseling.
And so we're both committed to that.
And the other thing I wanted to pull up,
because of the counseling thing, a lot of times
you guys say, like, why am I doing all this?
Why am I waiting?
And you know, Jackie said when she met us, she was like, OK,
God has just ordained that you're going to have
a later in season marriage.
And we both admit that even six years ago,
he would not have been healthy for me.
And maybe I wouldn't have.
And he always says that I'm not sure I would have married
Hope Clinic Renee, you know?
Because she was like, she was kind of like big boss babe.
And so we both, and we both lost a parent.
I'm not sure about that, I guess.
I didn't know.
I'm looking for them right there.
OK, thank you.
We both lost a parent right around the same time that
was a complicated relationship.
And I'm actually grateful that we both did
our therapy and grieved that.
So we don't have to bring that into the marriage,
if that makes sense.
It's still a part of our story.
But it's not a wound that could have hurt the relationship.
And that's a whole other story.
But I just wanted to press into the counseling and the timing
that sometimes, you guys, it is God's timing.
And he does get it.
He really does get it.
Yeah, and it really, you know, someone asked as well for Annette.
Someone was asking, how long were you
in the Last Year Single program before you met Jared?
Oh, you're muted.
It was one year.
And then how long did you all date before you got married?
It was almost two years.
OK.
She got married in June.
And it would have been July was two years.
That's awesome.
So she was in the program a year.
Then they dated for two years.
They're married now, just fresh in June.
What do you all think about that question that I asked on?
It was a really good question.
Let's see if I can remember it now.
How did I ask you all that question, Renee and Brian?
What other things did we have to see the action?
Yes, thank you.
Were the actions spoke even louder than the words spoke?
Yeah, so Jared is not a man of many words.
And I'm pretty wordy.
So his consistency was what really helped.
I dealt a lot with fear of rejection.
And yeah, I just had a lot of trust issues.
And just seeing his consistency over and over,
he never ran away from me, even with hard conversations.
And he would continue to be there.
So this is one thing.
It was pretty early on in our dating.
And we had been texting.
And he said, hey, he's like, I'm going out
with some guys tonight.
And if I don't text back, you know where I'm at.
And I was like, whoa.
He wouldn't have had to necessarily tell me that.
But that was actually huge for me in the whole trust
and just being like, he's very, very upfront, just yeah.
And he's always been that way and still is.
And then there was, so after we got engaged,
the kids and I was like about three months,
I guess, before we got married.
We moved into the place that we were
going to live after we got married.
And it was like I had just had surgery the week before.
And there was just a lot going at that time.
And I could tell it was stressful moving all
of our stuff in.
And anyways, I was like, you know what?
Is he going to pull away?
Because this is really a lot going on right now.
Or is he going to, what's he going to do?
I thought I knew we were getting married.
But it was still was a lot.
And I could tell it was stressful for him too.
And I was going to get some dinner on.
And he was in the living room.
And I found myself just starting to cry.
It was like so much emotion.
And I thought, oh, I don't think I'm
going to try not to let him know that I'm feeling
a lot of this emotion right now.
And I heard him go upstairs.
He comes back down and he had gotten my daughter's purity ring, and he had put on a black shirt
that he had worn that Sunday morning, and he came into the kitchen and he knelt on the
floor, and he held the ring up, he's like, will you marry me?
Like again, he's like, like basically saying, I'm here for you no matter what.
And that was just huge.
Again, like another, like, he's not going to leave me, I can trust this man, I can totally
trust him.
And so yeah, I don't know if that answers your question, but yeah.
It totally does.
And Jared, man, way to go on that huge, you know, I wrote down, as Annette was sharing,
what it made me think of is what we know a lot of people, people face, they're afraid
that the other shoe is going to drop, they're waiting, subconsciously afraid, and, and you
all, hey, guess what, the enemy tries to convince you of that even after you're married.
I can remember at one point telling Brian, like, I had just had a really bad day.
And just not I was just wasn't myself and talk to him about that.
And, and I was I wasn't like mean to him, but I just wasn't my normal Bethany self.
And I can remember thinking, yeah, he probably regrets, like marrying me.
That's just how I felt on the inside.
And, you know, when I was talking to him, he's like, Bethany, everybody has a bad day.
Like he was just, it was like, I was the best Bethany that you know, like, it was like,
that didn't even happen.
And I just remember, like, you know, how like, not that I have the Grinch heart, but this
is what what image is coming to my mind right now.
But you know how the Grinch his heart, like the more that people loved him, the more his
heart was growing.
That's how it feels sometimes, like, when somebody that is so honest and kind and good
loves you in a way that you haven't been loved before.
Your heart just is like, oh my gosh, like, love is good.
Love is real, this can happen.
And so I just want to encourage all of you that, you know, really struggle with always
waiting for the other shoe to drop, that God may come in and just really redefine your
whole relationship and show you, hey, that person is going to love you on your good days,
and they're going to love you on your hard, bad days, whatever you want to call them,
and everything in between.
And so I just wanted to point that out.
I just really love that you did that.
And you really validate her on every level in that moment.
From my perspective, I do want to invite my hubby into the conversation here.
He's been waiting.
Do you have any questions?
Not to put you on the spot.
Anything that you want to ask the couples, and I see some people putting some stuff in
the chat too, but I did want to open it up to you.
Or if you want to make a joke, you all know my hubby loves jokes.
You know, whatever, whatever you would like to do.
No, I think, I always think it's fascinating when we, when we're dating, sometimes we feel
we kind of have to have it all together.
But the reality is, once you kind of start in the relationship and get deeper in and
even married, you start realizing that new stuff comes up that maybe you didn't realize
was there while you were in that early dating phase.
So like, what, what challenges are you guys going through now that you're working through
as kind of a established couple or married?
Like what does that, what does that look like for you guys?
Maybe something that wasn't even on your radar when you were dating in the early stages.
Jared and Annette, if you want to go first.
So for me, I think just learning to not be so quick to jump to conclusions on things,
because Jared is not a man of many words, when he does say something, it holds weight
and it holds water.
But I'm like already on to the second or third thing sometimes.
And so for me, it's good to just scale back.
And like, there's been a couple of times in our relationship since we're married, I was
pretty sure I was right on something.
But guess what? I wasn't.
And he was.
And yeah, it was one time we were going to see some friends and I was like quickly put
in the address and he's like, I don't think that's right.
And I'm like, oh, yes, it's right.
It's right. I think he probably doesn't really know, you know, I know where I'm going
here. And we were way out of the way.
And I was like, you know what, Annette, just stop.
You're, you don't always know everything.
Like he's got some really good stuff there.
Like, so yeah, that's something I've had to learn
is like scaling back and trusting his lead once again
just like I can trust him.
Like he knows, he knows some,
he has some really good things to say.
So, or he's right a lot.
So yeah.
Yeah.
That was really great.
Jared, did you have something?
Not that you had to, I just didn't want to pass it over.
I don't know.
I mean, I guess I could say,
maybe I'll just put in a little two cents
like about the, you know, how like my, what's it called?
My personality is to pull away
and I'm working on the opposite.
It's still, I mean, of course, yeah.
It's a, it can sometimes be a little bit of a struggle
but like I'm like working, I'm working on that
and like actively, I guess actively working on that,
I guess.
And like, we're learning, we're learning each other.
I guess you might say it's like,
we're learning how to work together
as a married couple better.
And even asking good questions,
like even with the kids, I have seen him really pursue
and like think of good questions to ask them as, you know,
he has to push himself out there a little bit more
but that's one thing that I love about him
is he's willing to learn.
And that was one thing I really prayed about
is someone who's willing to grow and learn.
And he's never had kids
and being thrown into a family with teenagers.
He's done exceptionally well.
And he's, I've seen him put effort
into like asking them good questions.
And even for myself and Simbas also helped,
I think with that too, so.
For us, so one of the, it's, these are silly things
but they weren't silly, right?
I had to learn that my calendar is no longer just mine.
So we share all of our calendars.
Like I have a school calendar, a chaplain calendar,
last year single calendars.
Like I have four calendars and so I share all of them
and I'm obsessed with my calendar bookings.
He said, I'm the most organized, disorganized person
he's ever met in his life.
So that's probably one of the things he would say
is that he's been having to figure out.
But I was talking to one of my girlfriends
and I'm like, oh, we can't do that.
We have small group.
And he didn't, he waited until she was gone.
And he was like, I'm sorry,
we have a small group that we're going to Tuesday night.
When did we talk about this?
I'm like, oh, it's on the calendar.
I was like, well, if you want to get stuff on the calendar,
just put it on the calendar.
And he's like, okay, but maybe we could talk about things
before we put them on the calendar.
And it like, so I have to give that up.
I have to give up that I don't just get to put stuff
on the calendar because I want to do them.
Even if there's a blank spot,
I'm like, well, but there's a blank spot.
Why can't I put something on the calendar?
So that was the first one.
And then this sounds silly,
but Brian is moving into my tiny she shed
and I've literally given up half my wardrobe.
I'm selling half my furniture
because we're keeping the better furniture
and some of his stuff's newer and it served me well.
And just giving up half this stuff, you guys is like,
but it's been freeing and it's been freeing to do it.
But this stuff that I own, like I furnished this place.
Like, it's like, it's gorgeous.
And I'm like, but it's my place
and I have to make it look like our place.
So that's been something that's been harder for me
to give up than I thought it would be.
And then the other thing I'm continuing to work on
is I like to win arguments.
And, you know, Brian keeps saying
we're on the same side of an argument.
Like, we're not against each other.
And like, I get annoyed at him sometimes
over the dumbest things probably.
And I can't stay mad at him.
Like, I want to be like righteously mad
until he figures it out.
And he's like, hey, you know, you really were right.
Okay, then I could stop being mad at you.
But like, I can't anymore.
Because like, I just, I'm like,
that's just not a hill I want to die on.
And so I'm learning that we can be okay and move on
even if we're not in agreement.
Like, he's like, well, this is how I saw it.
And I'm like, okay, well, this is how I saw it.
Well, okay, we both saw it differently.
And that's okay too.
Like we can respect each other
and maybe modify how we do it differently in the future.
But, so those were the three for me.
Anything for you?
No, so to kind of elaborate on that a little bit
is that we have those conversations afterwards
to talk about, okay, so this was my perception.
This was your perception.
And I think the hardest thing for both of us
was, or is the fact that she is.
an external processor, and I'm an internal processor, and she
will, like, she'll throw 1000 things at you. And I like and I
just have to sit there and I just have to think about it. And
then my silence does not sit well. But but you know, she had
but then she goes, but so but she also has had to tell me
that I have to say that I've at least acknowledged what she
said, because I would just not say anything. And so then that
would make her not so very happy. But I but you know, the
point then becomes really, it's like, okay, you know what, I
have all of this information. Now I've got to process it. And
can we table this now and read, you know, readjourn in the
morning, or, you know, an hour later, or whatever, they give me
some opportunity to process things and do some things. And
so I think that's the hardest thing that we have working on
right now. But yeah, I came into the relationship. And I
told her and I said, you know, there's going to be times when
we disagree, there's going to be issues and problems and
concerns. But the number one thing is that I want you to
remember, and I want me to remember is it's not me against
you. It is us against the issue. And that's the whole key, in all
honesty.
Yeah.
Another, I got a question, if I'm heading in the right
direction. Before this, I used to think that marriage and
getting a relationship is an aging rat race. I just turned
into 37. I started my late 30s. I was saying it was an aging rat
race, I want to get done and I have to put myself out there
lower my standards. And hopefully she'd fit into my
dream life. And hopefully I get my hopefully get my way
sometimes. But now it isn't. And I think of it marriages,
look, I can marry I will be married and have make it an
achievement. Look what I can do. But really, that's not really
what the more older I get, the more I figure that's not going
to happen. The more I figure out there's it may be good and bad
things in relationship, open to it always been open to the
challenge. But now I realized that there's going to be more
compromise and changing everything than having the
happily ever after.
Yeah, so Hunter, we do have to grow and change. And we have to
understand I saw some ladies in the chat just like, Hey, I don't
want it to be a several years. Here's the reality. Some of you
it might, it might be a few years, because there might be
some things God's trying to do in you to prepare you, just like
Renee and Brian, they were talking about. And I said this
when I met my Brian, if I had met him years before, I did. I
don't know that I would have swiped to respond to him.
Honestly, I don't know that I would have been able to even
respond to him in ways that he needed. And in order for our
relationship to grow, like I was a totally different person by
the time I met Brian. And so for those of you that you're, you're
just kind of in that place where, you know, you're, you're
not wanting to wait anymore. I get it. Like I really do. But
let's really ask the Lord, what's driving that heart
posture? Because is it that you actually believe that God's not
going to come through for you, which goes back to the trust
factor that I was talking about earlier, not only is there a
trust factor and trusting our spirit mate, there's a massive
trust factor in in trusting that God is good, and that he has
your best interest at heart. And all he's trying to do every
single day is lead us into the fullness of his promise for us
in every area. But God loves us so much, that he will not give
us something that will crush us or that we will mishandle. I
just believe that with all my heart, the hindsight that I have
now, you know, and the things that I've learned, absolutely, I
think just we have to keep growing. And, you know, again,
if you're in the place of you're feeling discouraged, we do
understand. But don't give up because God has something in
store for you. But it has to be that you choose to believe that
that's the starting point. And then Brian, my Brian Cooper,
were you gonna say something?
Yeah, I just want to add kind of build on top of that, too. I
remember, while I didn't go through the hard work, I went
through a phase where I took about six years to work on
myself. And there were times where, you know, I was tempted
to, like, you know, just really get out there and date and just
find someone because I was lonely. But I think the thing
for me, I was married previously. And I remember being
married, and being miserable. And remember the feeling that I
would rather be single and low and feel the loneliness than be
married and lonely.
So, for me, that was motivation to, I need to find the right person.
So I think there's always a temptation just to be in a relationship, to find someone,
just to be in that marital status.
But the reality is, I remember being married and miserable, and I was happier being single
and alone, waiting for the right person, in this case, Bethany, to come, than to simply
find a status.
So I would just say, if you're going through that, just remember, it is better to wait
to find the right one, with the right relationship, with a healthy relationship, than to find
the wrong one, and think, wow, I'm still kind of miserable, you know, so just some encouragement.
I think sometimes it does, I waited six years, you know, to find Bethany, and glad I did,
you know, and we both talk like, this is our, this is the best, these are the best days
of my life.
And it was because I waited.
So just saying there, Bethany.
And I just want to jump in and just say, amen to all of that, like you guys, like the one
thing that Jackie always says to us, too, is not just sit and wait, like, you know,
I was doing seminary, I was working out, I was going out with my friends, I was enjoying
my family, like, I used to hate going home to my nieces and nephews and my siblings,
because it was always so obvious what they had, and what I didn't have.
But then after my dad died, suddenly, I'm like, I'm not doing that, I'm not going to
not live and not love my family and my friends.
They're in front of me.
So I made sure that I just kept loving the things that were in my life and growing those
things, trusting that this and I will tell you, I could have made, I bet you we all could
be married, we could be dating some schmo, schmoette, that we could have made work.
And you know, we'd be miserable.
And he truly is my best friend, he would lay down his life.
I mean, like, I was sick yesterday, and like, I didn't return one of his text messages.
And my last message was, I'm having chest pains, man was at my house in 20 minutes.
He's an ICU nurse, like, you know, so he was like, I don't like this.
And so like, that's what you want to wait for.
So like, don't wait badly, wait, well, wait, well, that's just my encouragement to you.
Yeah, and like, maybe turn, turn your waiting into prayers.
And like, I totally agree with you, Renee.
And like, you know, like, I was in it, I kind of, I don't know if I should say, but I kind
of feel like I've, my whole life, I've been searching for a wife in a way, but not really,
I've been still living my life.
But, um, you know, I did date some people here and there.
And like, like I said, I was in a nine year relationship that, but yeah, like, I didn't
find Annette till I was 42 years old.
And like, I would not trade Annette for anything.
Like, she's the absolutely best, amazing, most amazing ever.
Like, so I would wait 42 years again, like, like, any, like, with the jump of a heartbeat,
like, I would wait 42 years all over again, just to, just to have Annette.
So.
There you have it, people.
I mean, come on.
This is so good.
I hope this is encouraging your hearts tonight.
There, there's just so much that God has for all of you.
It's, it's believing before it comes, you know, call those things that are not as though
they are and, and waiting and standing and not backing down, um, from those things.
I do want to ask a couple of questions because I know both of our couples have blended
families.
Okay.
I do want to draw that out a little bit more.
Um, both couples have experienced divorce.
So if you feel like even if there's anything, not that there has to be, but if there's
anything that you've had to navigate with exes as well, that would maybe be good to
pull into the conversation.
Um, but I would like to start with the blended family part, the kids first.
Um, and so Jared and Annette, I know Annette, if I remember correctly, you have two
kiddos.
Um, Jared, you didn't have any children coming into the marriage, correct?
Right.
And so what is, um, so Annette, from the mom's perspective, what is something that
you have had to shift in, in order to make room for Jared to come in and be a part of
your blended family?
Um, I'm trying to think how I would have wanted to answer that because it has been
somewhat challenging.
Um, I'm very busy at work, you know, six day a week and, um, navigating like, you
know, wanting to spend time with the kids and then, you know, making sure I spend
time, have time for him.
That was a little bit of an adjustment, but.
But here again, he was very understanding
and he wasn't demanding.
So I knew that I need to make sure
that I carved out time for him
because quality time is one of his love languages.
So sometimes I have to require like maybe less sleep
or I was getting in the habit of just like,
putting the kids to bed or whatever
and then just going and chilling.
But maybe some of my chill time was now Jared's time.
And it can still be that way a little bit,
but like, okay, so now being married,
I worked, there's like a couple of evenings that I work
and Jared knows that for me, when I come home,
like I love the kitchen cleaned up and the floor swept.
That's two things that mean a lot to me
so that I can just give time to the kids and to him.
And so he has stepped right in, like he works,
he's done with work by 3.30, he works from home.
So in the evenings I'm not here,
they have like make the dinner and he helps with that
and then they clean up
and he knows that's very important to me.
And so like, yeah, that has helped for us to be able
to just give time to him and time to the kids.
And he has told me, he's like, you really have done well
in meeting my needs too.
Cause you know, I asked like, how's it going or whatever,
how's, how are you feeling coming in to this family?
And does that answer your question?
Yeah, it does.
That was great.
And I love the, like the realistic, you know,
just the fact of not only, you know,
giving time to your kids, but making that space and time
and how sometimes that might be a shift in the way
we used to just chill and watch a movie
or whatever it is that we would do.
But also in regards to what you told Jared,
what would help you be able to come home
and just be able to spend time with you.
And not only did you tell him,
but he listened and became a teammate with you.
I feel like that's really huge in what I hear you saying.
So then Jared, from your perspective,
what is something that maybe God has taught you
or grown in you regarding coming into a blended family?
I'm sure there's a bunch of things,
but what comes to mind first?
Okay, well, I guess something I've had to work on,
which she kind of touched on previously,
but it was like, kind of like coming up with questions
to ask the kids and like, just, yeah.
And of course, like, you know, obvious things too.
You also, you have to be like present and like be,
what's the other word?
I can't think of the other word, but yeah.
Intentional, be intentional, yeah.
So, but yeah.
Yeah, I think the biggest thing, I don't know.
Maybe the biggest thing is just coming up
with questions to ask maybe, I don't know.
That's good.
That's a great answer.
And I think too, you know,
not having kids and coming into relationships,
like I don't have bio kids,
but I was married to someone before that had a son.
And then I dated someone that had two daughters
and a lot of the people in the community know
I have two spiritual daughters.
And so coming into relationships
and the children aren't yours, but you're, you know,
learning how to make connection with them.
And it depends on what the ages are too.
Littles, like when I came into Dylan's life,
which is my stepson.
I mean, he was a baby, you know?
I mean, all I had to do was love him
and hold him and care for him and things.
Not that it was always easy,
but just that was kind of like an instant thing.
With the girls, they were 10 and eight, you know?
They had to learn how to trust me.
And so I love that, yeah,
God's teaching you how to be really intentional there.
And that, again, I hear you guys working as a team,
you know, and that's saying,
hey, this is something that might help you
build connection with them.
And then you guys are following through.
So I just, I hear team a lot
in all of the couples here tonight.
It's such, so refreshing.
I know our people that are here tonight
are chiming in saying that.
Renee and Brian, what do you all think?
And tell us the ages of Brian,
your kids, and then the grandkids.
So I have four children, three biological children,
one bonus daughter from my second marriage.
And my oldest is 30.
My youngest is 25.
And so the rest are in between.
My bonus daughter will be 29.
She's currently 28.
She'll be 29 in December.
And my son will be 27 next month.
And so the grandkids are eight and-
five so my kids being grown my oldest is married she has her husband's in the army they're over
in germany so we didn't have that we were far away from the kids so we had to be intentional
which is kind of interesting and i wanted to bring this up earlier is that you know picking
that word at the beginning of the year renee had told me earlier that her word for the 2025 was
intentional and i used that when we talked about dating and whatever not knowing that that was her
word and so and and it's been the same way you know we we schedule face time with the kids we
do the marco polo i don't know if you're familiar with that but we marco polo the kids we have a
whole family thing that we get on and we do them individually as well so um you know trying to
orchestrate everything to get everybody together but my grandson fell in love with her from like
day one normally he's all up in my business and we went out to we went bowling and went to lunch
and we're sitting at lunch and like the only time he was quiet for 15 minutes he was quiet
because he was sitting on her lap and i'm like well what where did that come from but um you know
it's been they have accepted her from the beginning they are all in and uh you know and she's been able
to connect with them and even give them parts of in the wedding so that they'll have they'll have
that connection as well so i was pretty excited about that where you got the ad yeah so and and
this may be a good question for me to answer because i will say this um one of my what i
thought was non-negotiables is i wanted to be able to be a parent and um my my most serious relationship
about nine years ago i have two spiritual kids from that too and nine years later i still talk
to them like they've actually met brian that's how much they're still a part of my life so
when he has a bonus daughter that makes sense because hayley and max are still in my story and
getting i mean i like i said hayley is it weird that i want you to come to my wedding and she's
like no you know and so they are older and i have met them um but they're four hours away and one's
in germany and so have i had to release that it's not going to look like it did with those
spiritual kids it's not going to look the same because they're grown adults and they're long
distance and so i'm learning to just build the relationship be grateful for what we have um
the grandkids are going to be little ring bearer and flower girl although i did tell him if he's
pulling a tantrum his butt's out of there in five hot minutes i've got zero patience for kids
screaming in my wedding just saying not that this has been an issue at all but saying um and then
but i will tell you this i was worried that his kids were going to be like really dad you're
getting married again i mean it's a third marriage so i was i had a lot of i had a lot of worry about
that and you know because we haven't known each other that long but they literally have been
amazing from the get-go and his daughter like she's i mean his daughter the ones in germany
she's literally flying in from germany for two days to come be at the wedding and i felt like
that said a lot to me and so so that's just something i've had to release a little bit
is enjoy the relationship that it is and it's it's going to grow and kind of like what bethany
were saying um blending adult children has its own different things and so it's not going to be the
same as having a blended where they're going to see me every day and so i have to be willing to
let those relationships build over time where i feel like the teamwork has really come in is my
sweet dog who is my child um he has taken on literally 50 of the share um and with me being
in school i feel like me being in school right now is my child and i'm an amazing cook and he's cooked
more dinners than i've cooked um simply because i don't have time and um so that's how we've been
kind of sharing some of the kid and kid duties that our kids i love this and i love that you
brought your dog into it because that is real too i mean hey you gotta care for all the all the kids
and and some of you all you know do have animals um some of you as jackie has said too not that
we're saying you have to just get rid of your animals but some of you you know like not that
i ever was going to get a cat again i don't know if i ever would have but my husband is allergic to
cats so cats are now off the table that will not be in our house we will not have cats in our house
but you know just that we're willing to shift you all that we're willing to shift um that we're
willing to pick up a load and be a team with our spirit mate and for some of you you know as we
were chatting earlier i want you just to be really praying about you know we talk a lot about making
room i want you to be praying about what does what is the
room that you need to make in the next few months to prepare for your spirit mate.
You know, that's been a core theme tonight, really.
Whether it's, you know, some of you all have already done the clean the closet out, maybe
you cleaned a drawer out, but maybe there's something else.
Maybe there's even an area in your heart that you still need to make room for that person.
You know, we hear, I can't tell you how many times I see things that you all say, I'm too
busy to date.
Well, how are you going to meet your spirit mate then?
So maybe you need to clear out some schedule stuff, you know, and pray about that a little
bit.
So just wanted to put that note out there just so I don't forget, because those are
some things I've been seeing in our groups kind of coming up quite frequently.
And I get it, you all, you know, we're a working society.
People are busy, busy, busy.
We're filling our calendars to the max, but let's make room for the new in this next season.
I do want to ask a little fun question here, too.
I want to hear from you all what has been one of your favorite things, maybe a memory
that you all have created together, something, you know, tradition, maybe, or a fun adventure
you went on.
I'm not sure anything you want, really, but just something fun that you all have now started
doing together that means something to you.
And I'll go to Jared and Annette first.
So Wednesday nights, my kids have a youth group, and that's our night to go on a date.
And I look forward to it.
Same here.
So, and we're, we started dating through the alphabet two years ago, you all, and we're
still trying to finish it up because I'm determined we're going to finish it up.
So we're getting close to the end, but so we've been kind of trying to like, yeah, finish
that up too.
So that's been really fun.
So tell, tell people here dating through the alphabet.
Not everybody knows what that is.
Can you tell us what it is?
So take the letter of the alphabet and do a date, like, so for A, we did, we went to
Applebee's.
Let me think.
What was one of the, for K, we, we got kites and the kids and I, and Jared, we went, flew
these kites.
Some of the, some of the dates the kids joined us on, some we just did us.
I, we went ice skating and I want to get to Z because I want to do a zipline or go to
the zoo.
That'd be, we want to go to some waterfalls.
That's something we really wanted to do good to some really neat waterfalls, but yeah.
So that's kind of, and it's been fun and we kept record and we took pictures and yeah,
on each day.
And so it's just been kind of a fun thing.
I love it.
Y'all are making memories in incredible ways.
That's so fun.
And a lot of people are loving that idea.
And I had heard of it before, but I have only heard of it one other time.
So I couldn't fully remember and I didn't want to explain it.
It was so much better to hear it from you all.
Cause with the ideas of things you all have done, that's so cool.
Renee and Brian, what do you all for you?
Why are you going to let me go first?
You know what we do?
You're going to ask this question and we were both like, I don't think we're fun people,
but I will say this.
We make ourselves laugh every single day.
I have never laughed.
Okay.
Y'all, you need to know, like he's Dr.
And he wears suits and like, when he's not smiling, he kind of has RBF.
And it's a little scary.
And so, but like everybody who sees him in real life with me,
he's always smiling and he's always laughing.
And we just laugh at the dumbest things, our date nights.
I want to date the elf.
I'm like, I want to do that.
I'm like, we go to the grocery store.
We go to like, I mean, like we do, like I'm in school.
So honestly,
a date night is me handing him an 18 page paper to proofread before for me,
like swear to God.
No, but I mean, we do, we, you know, so I would say like,
I think what I've really enjoyed is visiting his Greek family.
So it's a God story.
He just found his biological family in the last six years.
And he found out he comes from a very large Greek family,
did not know that part of his story until six years ago.
And they're all going to be at the wedding.
And so when the Greek family met me for the July, they're like, you know,
like picture my big fat Greek wedding.
That was his family for three days, but they're like, well,
do you think you can handle us? I'm like,
I'm like mafia girl over here, moonstruck. Okay. So,
and so I loved being with his family. He loved being with my family.
And so he said, you know, Renee, you know, my parents are gone.
I see my kids not on the normal holiday schedule.
So we will always be with family, you know, for the holidays.
And he is willing to fly home to Connecticut to do.
do that with me. And so I know we're going to have a lot of family memories with his
kids, his extended family, and with mine. I love this. So we do, we do, we have plans.
So I have thought forward, I got to wait until she graduated. But I don't know if you've
seen it on Facebook, but there's a company, I think it's called Rio, that they have these
50 cards, they're scratch off cards for each state. And so we got Tennessee, Kentucky,
and Indiana. And so with the plan is we're going to start scratching them off and going
on those dates. And so it's like different cities in each state. And it's pretty cool.
Plus, I like photography. So I try to go to waterfalls to take pictures. So we want to
do that too. I love it. We is that the cards we have Brian, I think my Brian, yeah, we,
we did start doing that in Florida. And they are pretty cool. We found a place pop stroke,
literally, we didn't even know it was like a couple blocks away. But we found it through
this box of this card thing was kind of funny. But yeah, really fun ideas. Okay, so someone
asked and I thought, Oh, this would be good for us. People want to know how did you gentlemen
pop the question? Where did the engagement happen? How did you do it? The ladies and
the gentlemen want to know Jared, you go ahead and go first.
All right. Um, and that might have a slightly different story. But, um, anyway, it's the
same. It's the same. But, uh, so I, um, basically, I had her like, I took her on like a, like
a horse, a horse, buggy or wagon, almost like a wagon, but kind of like a horse buggy
wagon thing. And then I had a photographer there and pop the question. Like I the guy
was the guy that was pulling the driving the horses, I guess he pulled over on a side on
the side of the road. And I asked her not to be my wife.
It was beautiful. It was like in the fall. And so the leaves are gorgeous. And then yeah,
I didn't know what it was. I kind of had an idea, but it wasn't for sure. Yeah, that was
really awesome.
I love it. We have we have romantic gentlemen here tonight because I I know what Renee is
Brian did and I'm going to, I'm going to let him tell it though, but it was pretty
exciting to see. So he, he was very, um, tricky. We'll just say that he was tricky, but also
impatient. Anyway. Um, so to start, we were going to Connecticut, um, and we were going
up there for her family reunion and I'd already had planned. I'd already had the ring picked
out and everything was all set. I had bought tickets to go to dinner. I bought tickets
to go to the top of the empire state building. I had everything all arranged. Her sister
was coming with us and she was going to be the photographer. So it was all set up. Well,
then things started falling apart. I mean, literally the kids. Yes. But I'm getting there.
So we're, we're, we're planning this and then things happen and Michelle's like, well,
I may not be able to go and da, da, da, da. Anyway, I needed surgery. Her mom fell, broke
her arm. Anyway. So we get all this and we're going, we're on the plane. She has no idea.
She's thinking maybe, but she had a rule that the rule was I had to ask all of the kids
first. And if I didn't ask all of the kids, then basically it was off the table. So I
had to tell a little white lie and we were on the airplane and we were flying to Connecticut
and she goes, so did you talk to all the kids? I said, well, I talked to Shara and Michaela.
Those are my two daughters, the oldest and the youngest. I said, but I didn't talk to
my bonus daughter, Felicia. She goes, did you talk to Felicia? And I said, no, I haven't
talked to her yet. I was like, and she was like, oh, and then, so I just let it go. I
just dropped it. She's then thinking her brain that, well, it's not going to happen, but
I had already had, I already had our tickets to the top of the empire state building. I
got us express tickets. Cause I didn't know how busy it was going to be. I was trying
to do this at sunset. I had this whole romantic thing packed out. We get there. And like,
there were several people up there, but to get to the top didn't take us nearly as long
as I thought it would. So sunset was supposed to be like at eight o'clock. It is only six
30. And as great as the empire state building is, you can only loop around so many times.
Right. And, um, so, and here's the thing. So I kind of played it off and I had my camera
and she's.
around. We're walking. So she looks around and I'm like, I'm
not there. Michelle's off doing her own thing, which is her
sister. So we're all in different areas. So I finally
means my way over to where she is. And I see she's looking
through one of those, you know, like those little machines, you
put the quarter in, they got the little binoculars where you can
see the whole city. She's like staring off into space out
there. I text Michelle. I'm like, Michelle, you need to come
over where by over where the sunset is, even though it really
wasn't sunset, it was still pretty high in the sky. And
Michelle comes over there and she goes, it's not sunset. I'm
like, I don't care. So I don't know how she didn't hear any of
that conversation, but she didn't hear it. So I get the
ring out, I got down on one knee, and she's still not paying
me any attention. I had to go up Ms. Rizzo, Ms. Rizzo. And she
turns around and I was like, gonna have this whole elaborate
speech and what blurred out of my mouth was, would you do the
honor of marrying me? That was it. That was like, that was my
big to do. And I'm like, oh, well, but of course, it was it
was super romantic. The sun wasn't quite there.
Everybody cheered.
And it was great. But it was great. Not exactly how I had
envisioned it. That's all I can say.
It was it was lovely. It was lovely. And so now what's cool
about it is, is we'll always have a place to go to it like so
we got an ornament from the Empire State Building, we got
t shirts that we're going to wear on the honeymoon. And so
since it's not that far from my hometown, it will always have
this thing that we'll get to go do it. Yes.
I love this. So I'm gonna just let my husband Brian quickly
tell about our funny engagement. And then after that, we'll go
ahead and start to close the night down. But so Brian, tell
tell the folks how ours went. It was great from my perspective.
But from his perspective, y'all to hear.
So I just say Brian, it's a stressful event, like the
planning and everything. I don't think people realize like this
is kind of kind of wild. So I waited because we both love the
ocean. And so we made a trip out to California. So we were in
Laguna Beach. And so I kind of planned this. It was a the
resort that we went to and we had a nice well before we had a
nice dinner, there was this beautiful outlook over the
cliffs at the montage and in Laguna Niguel. And so we get out
there beautiful. And I never took into the fact the public
walking around. And so we were out by this like gazebo area
overlooking the cliffs. You know, I had this ring, like in
my pocket, you know, and just like kind of sweating. And
there's this walker apparently right by this by the where we
were standing, there was like a little circular thing. So
somebody was walking by like every so I had to start timing
this person because it was really walk. It was like a
small, we kind of had to move whenever they come by. So like,
I'm starting to like time it. And I'm trying to think of
questions. It's hard to have a conversation when you're
planning this out, right? So you're kind of trying to have a
nice conversation, but I'm counting seconds. Okay, one,
two, like how long it takes for this person. And as soon as they
walk by, you know, I have a quick speech. And, you know, be
able to propose before they come back around. And it'd be really
awkward with this person right here. So it that was all going
through my head. But like she said, it was a much so
thankfully, it was a much better experience on her end. But
you recall, I do recall a couple times he would ask me these
questions. And I was like,
this question,
the window by time. Yeah, there you have huge. Yeah, there's so
many little bloopers. And the reason I wanted to end on this,
I love that. I think Tiffany Butler put that in the in the
chat. But it's just, you know, relationships have amazing
blessings in them. There's growth in them. You know, we
have to shift we have to learn how to grow. Remember, we're
surrendering the pen like completely and we're trusting
God with the outcome. And so I want to encourage you all again
just to continue to to ask the Lord, how can you make room? And
this next season? How can you continue to surrender the pen
fully to him? If there's revealings for healing happening
in your heart, I hope that you'll go back to the Lord use
that revealing for healing cycle sheet and and process that stuff
out because that might be another step forward that takes
you closer to your spirit mate. So I'm going to go ahead. And
Brian Cooper, will you actually pray over us to close us out
tonight? Absolutely.
Heavenly Father, I just thank you for this time that we all
came together. I thank you for just the fact that you're
walking with each one of us no matter
or what our relationship status, Lord, you are with us.
And we are just so thankful to worship a God that loves us,
that's intimately involved in our lives,
in every season, in every part of the journey.
So Lord, I just pray for everyone on this call,
listening in, no matter what status
or what part of the journey in,
we just pray, Lord, that you would give us
patience, perseverance, we always need it,
no matter what season we are in.
So help us, Lord, to see your plan for our life
and give us patience,
because we know your timing is so much better than ours.
So help us, Lord, as we continue to keep moving forward,
help us to not stop in our journey,
but to keep moving forward and keep looking
for the burning bush that you are waiting
for us to discover so that you can speak
deeper into our lives.
In your mighty name we pray, Jesus, amen.
Amen, amen.
Renee and Brian, Jared and Annette,
thank you so much for sharing your stories with us tonight.
God bless you all.
Have an amazing night, everyone.
Hey, guys.