a video, I made a video of us with that music in the background.
So, um, so yeah, it was romantic.
Yeah, definitely.
And I'm really looking forward to seeing her around Christmas time.
In a way, it kind of sounds like we all could be taking a clue from this
playbook here, this, uh, this experience and new, uh, level of
territory that you're taking here.
So sounds encouraging.
Yeah.
Kudos on going and being successful and coming back and, you know, coming
back with something that seems to be working out at the moment.
And we're hopeful.
We're optimistically, um, hopeful with you in that.
So, so awesome.
Yeah.
I've been talking to her since April, so it's been a while.
We've been, yeah, yeah.
There is, um, there is one thing I'm struggling with now though, that it
doesn't really have to do with our romance per se, but it's something I
have struggled with and it, it's kind of gotten worse since I started seeing
her, um, is I have the, um, the bad habit of masturbation and of course,
as a Catholic, I've, I look at it as a sin and I'm trying to overcome it,
but I'm really struggling with it.
Um, and I'm trying to figure out like where I can get like the best type
of, um, advice to help me quit.
Just like, you know, someone would quit cigarettes or something.
Yeah.
No, I understand.
I mean, is, I mean, is there pornography involved or is it just, no pornography.
Okay.
So yeah, I mean, you know, um, that's, that's a situation where, I mean,
it's a natural progression of maturity into, you know, into relationship.
But, but when you're, when you're a little bit older and you've
never been into relationship, um, you know, uh, you're commuting
that sexual activity somewhere.
A lot of people are trying to commute it into something else constructive.
And, um, it's definitely very normal and natural to be, you know, sexually
excited, sexually, um, you know, sexually promoted in some, in some way.
Um, but at the same time, you know, you have to find other ways to let that
out and let that energy, let that exercise out, um, if, especially if
it's something that really, you know, convicts you in that way.
And, you know, um, so any, anybody else have any ideas on that?
Yeah, I, I pray worship music and that really helps me.
Um, because I find that like, for me, I I'll go like four or five days and
then I'll just ejaculate and it's kind of awkward.
And so when I feel the need or the urge, I just start praying and, and, and if
something happens, it happens, but I know that I'm in a state of worship
and I'm just trusting God, but for me, it's like, I mean, I'm not married.
I'm not sexually active.
So every four or five days I will ejaculate regardless.
So, I mean, I think, I think to a degree guys, I think to a degree that seems to
be a normal hormonal expression, especially if you're not in relationship
and you don't have an outlet for that in that way, I'm not saying that is right
or wrong, I'm saying if your conscience offends you in that area, and that's
something that you want to get under control or get under, uh, more
understanding, I think that's definitely something that you can work
out in relationship with the Lord.
I think one of the greatest things that's, that's a problem with that is when
something is in your life like that, that's offending your conscience, and
then it causes you to separate from the presence of the Lord and, and the, and
I think the greatest thing that you can tend for is not necessarily to stop
doing something that offends you, but to lean into something that can be a
benefit to you and can be, and can be a greater expression of emotion.
I mean, the reality is, is that you have hormones, you have a drive,
you have a sexual drive, it's alive and an awakened.
So it's completely normal to have that.
And at the same time, um,
you are followers of Jesus, you are followers of your creator,
you're followers of the presence of God in your life.
And so working that out and leaning into that instead of feeling bad about,
Oh, I masturbated or I had an ejaculation or there's something like, instead of
putting that in the sort of like bad category, put it into the category of
this is normal, but in order to, but if it offends your conscience,
don't allow it to separate you, separate you from what God is doing in your life
or his presence or activation in your life.
In other words, don't live dichotomously.
Bring that into the relationship you have with God and let Holy Spirit
work within you to resolve that.
Does that make sense?
Sort of, I mean, so, I mean, there is a difference between, um,
natural ejaculation and, uh, and masturbation.
There's a difference between those two things.
Sure.
Absolutely.
I understand.
I know what you're talking.
But yeah, maybe the other guy's going to chime in on that.
So for me, um, I understand that I love awakening, but like, I look at it as, uh,
getting the car, keeping the car going.
Like, like, so the last thing you want to do is, well, one of the biggest mistakes,
I guess, maybe that's a great, um, so my first, my ex, one of my greatest regrets
is that we didn't make it to the honey.
They make it to, um, the wedding day before we had sex.
We played house one day and it just ended up going sideways.
And, um, and you know, uh, I, since then, like, I was like, you know what?
I try to keep that car in the garage and that way I only let it out in that way.
And so keeping it constantly rolling, um, and I get it.
I understand the cycles and all that.
And like, all of a sudden you're wired, but at the same time, I've just learned how to,
oh, I guess I could take my hand off of the microphone.
So I guess what I'm saying is I, I, if you're in relationship and you're stoking that fire,
it gives you a lot greater chance of not making it to the finish line.
And therefore, um, I would not really recommend it well and look at it with the end game in mind.
Right.
And, and I, and I understand it's not an easy thing.
And I understand all those things, but having regretted not making it to my wedding day,
I don't want to ever experience that again.
And it really, and stealing from the future for the moment, isn't really something that
I want to learn as a habit.
That's just my, and like I say, it's hard, you know, so.
Yeah, no, it's definitely an issue of self-control.
For sure.
And, um, I just want to make sure that, um, it's very clear.
Cause I think this is trouble.
A lot of men, especially a lot of good men that have grown up in any kind of like
Christian culture, church, whatever, to where those things, first of all, were never discussed.
And second of all, if you didn't have a family that it was open with that kind of stuff,
it doesn't get discussed.
And then in a religious context, it becomes like this shameful thing, which then can break.
Why, why is there a sense of shame put on something that God has given you?
That is a natural drive.
I'm not saying that it is mature to be going there all the time, because it's not.
It's a, it's a, it's an issue of self-control and maturity to grow out.
Yeah, no, it is kind of super serious self-control.
I can't really hear you that well, Mike.
Yeah, unfortunately, my phone's dying out.
So self-control is a hard thing to master, but you're going to need it in marriage too.
And so people, I don't know, is that a surprise, I've been married before, so it's something
that it's better to learn it now than deal with the consequences in a relationship, right?
It's better to, but like David was talking about so much shame about it, right?
I mean, because it's brutal sometimes, right?
And I don't know, it's something that doesn't get talked about.
It's something that, and when mixed with porn, that'll destroy your future marriage, I can
tell you that right now.
Like porn, it steals from, my ex was gorgeous, but comparatively, I mean, she was a 10, but
she didn't match up to what I was used to seeing.
And so I was disappointed.
I don't know if that makes sense, right?
Yeah.
And so therefore, everything that I'd seen before robbed from my marriage, right?
And so, and I don't mean that in a, I'm just being real, you guys, you know, I mean, I
wish that it hadn't, I mean, I found porn when I was five years old, so it's not like
I intentionally, you know, but like, I just want to express the pitfalls and the pain
that it's really good if you can stop because it'll make your life so much easier and so
much better and your future relationships and you won't be comparing, I mean, I always,
you know, like this is going to sound super dumb, but I didn't know any better.
I thought like, you know, like a marriage was like a porn movie, like, you know, like,
you know, and like, so I went into, to like, I didn't have any experience in that and it's
really not and I guess, you know, there's, I don't know if David's back or not.
There's a cost, right?
And I prefer to pay it on the front end than the back end.
I paid it on the back end and it was really bad, right?
So, yeah, at least in my case, I don't have the porn, which is huge.
That is a giant gift.
Right.
And so it makes it a lot, because I've seen the consequences of it, it makes it easier
for me.
It makes it a non-decision.
And have I screwed up and missed the boat?
I'm not saying I'm perfect, you guys, you know, but then, but I've got back on the wagon
as soon as I got off, right?
You know?
So another thing I look at about porn is it's fake, that stuff doesn't really happen and
it lies.
No, that's what I say.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And it steals, it steals from, like I said, my ex was absolutely gorgeous and well built,
right?
But she wasn't what I, you know, and, you know, and I put her through hell, you guys,
because of all the stuff with the porn, right?
And I did things that, you know, that demeaned her.
I didn't, you know, and those are, I get to talk about all my regrets today.
This is amazing, you know?
And the reason why I do, you guys, is because I don't want you to ever treat your future
spouse like a prostitute, because that's what porn does, right?
And one day, you know, and it wasn't, I didn't intentionally, but, you know, it just, there's
a high cost to that.
And it's crap, you know, and if you get help, right, you know, I mean, because, and don't
let it destroy the beautiful things that God has for you, right?
And so, yeah, I guess, you know, I hope you don't experience the regrets that I did.
I mean, as you can tell, it still affects me, you know, and seeing the look on your
wife's face when she realizes you've been watching porn, and then she asks, why?
Am I not beautiful enough for you?
And you can't really, there's no answer to that question
because you've already answered it for her, right?
And they don't understand the drive
and that it's more than a fricking crack cocaine, right?
And so I had no idea we were gonna be discussing this today
and I was just gonna chill,
but I guess the Lord wanted this out
and so you guys, I can tell you,
I can still see the look on her face
and it's been 20 plus years and it still haunts me.
And I just, like I say, if you can,
just do everything you can to get off that shit
because that's all it is, right?
And the other thing is, is I can actually deal with women now
without objectifying them and that is priceless, right?
When you're watching porn, I mean, somewhere inside of you,
there's something thinking about sleeping with every woman
or whatever, like, I don't know what it is.
It's like, you're in that mode where you're hungry
and wanting to conquer.
And that's not good for developing a relationship either.
So, I don't know.
I guess one thing that I struggle with is that,
although it's a good thing that I'm not
with the porn aspect, I feel like a lot of the advice
is tailored to people is for getting off of porn.
And I kind of feel like that is irrelevant to my situation.
Yeah, well, both are still addicting.
Yeah.
And porn's more addicting with masturbation,
but whatever.
You're still fulfilling it.
And the shame part of it, you guys,
there is no shame for those who aren't Christ Jesus, right?
There's that book, Every Man's Battle.
The reason why it's called Every Man's Battle
because it's every man's battle, right?
So, you're not alone.
The key about it is, and Andy,
I just really love that you're up front
because that's the key to freedom.
It's like being, hey, dude, I'm getting my butt kicked.
And I'm not proud of it.
What I shared today,
I don't think I've shared it with hardly anybody.
Oh, I had this problem too.
And I've been going to ministry after ministry
after ministry knowing that it's the wrong thing to do.
And I went to college in my early 20s
knowing that it costs marriage
and I can't believe society is.
No, but here's the thing, you guys.
You can't shame yourself to change.
If you're just gonna try to bootstrap it
and beat yourself up and that,
I can tell you I've done that.
It just ends up, then you fall off the wagon even harder.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah, yeah.
I was able to kind of come back on.
Sorry, I was just in a car
and I'm in Stu's cell areas and everything.
Yeah, I think that's probably the biggest truth
is going back, just let me just kind of peel back,
go back further in this issue.
The idea of objectifying and dominating women
is part of the curse, guys.
This isn't anything new.
This isn't anything.
If there's easier ways to basically feed that,
feed that drive, feed that curse part of you
because of the accessibility of pornography, for instance.
But it's nothing new.
It's part of the curse.
Part of the curse was is that,
men you'll want to dominate the woman.
So this is just a modern day expression of that.
Now I'm not saying that in order to diminish it
because that's like Mike saying, it's a destroyer.
This is simply, I guess the best thing to do in my opinion
is to contend against the shame that it brings
because the shame is a divisive thing
because it's trying to separate you
from the relationship that you have with the Lord.
It's trying to get you in a cycle to be like,
oh, I feel really great about myself
because I haven't masturbated in five days
and all of a sudden now I've done it.
on it. And now I'm back into it. And it offends my conscience. So therefore, whatever, whatever,
regardless of, regardless of the source, I do believe there's a difference. I think Andy
pointed this out. And I think it's very important. I think there are times where it's literally just
a physical release. It's like, I'm so stressed. I'm so this, this basically why having sexual
connection in marriage is so important. One of the things is obviously procreation. But the other
part of it is just the intimacy, the sort of like the, the let go the release, the relief in
relationship that your wife provides for you and you for her through that action, through that
physical connection, it's, it's, it's just as much a, a, a method of peace, a method of relaxation,
a method of just like, almost like crying is almost like weeping is, you know, and it's a
beautiful connection between the man and the woman who are committed in marriage in a covenant way.
Right. And so this is why that's sacred. This is why. So as opposed to, and again, my perfect
example, it's just like, if you're going to try to like white knuckle this and try to overcome
something just because it's quote wrong. I think the better thing is to do is to find out
number one, what is the meaning of this connection? What is the, what is the understanding, the power
of your sexuality? And one of the greatest things you can do is sit in a moment of that
situation where you have just expended your sexuality and you are sitting there with the Lord.
Now that sounds weird to a lot of people. That sounds weird. Like, oh, I shouldn't be doing this.
And so therefore I have to hide this in order to like protect myself from what I feel God is
seeing in me or looking at me. Right. Andy, you put it in the context of sin.
Yeah. Well, I guess what I was, what I was saying, the differences between it is like,
if it's like you're asleep and it happens like while you're asleep.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get, I get what you're saying. No, no, I understand what you're saying,
but you put it in the context of sin and I get it. Is it sin? Well, yeah. I mean,
if it avenged your conscience, it's sinful. The Bible says he that knows to do something or not
to do something and you do it anyway to him, it's sin. Okay. So it's not about, but the, but the,
about sin is not to focus on the sin and to focus on the stop doing the sin or doing something that
you're supposed to do. The focus is understanding what is my connection with the Lord and
understanding why do I behave this way? Why do I have this drive? What's it for? What's it really
for? So when you have a relationship, a physical relationship with a companion to where that,
that sexual activity is supposed to be happening, it is super challenging.
I'm just, I'm just saying, I agree with you because I'm thinking in the back of your mind,
you're like, well, I'm not married. So what am I supposed to do? I get it. Yeah. It's super
challenging. This is why you are working out this area in your life. There's some things
like the Bible is beautiful in a way that it's like something's like, don't kill people,
honor your mother and your father. Don't steal things. Those are very obvious and direct,
like specific things. It's very obvious. But in the other areas of life, especially in sexuality,
if I was like, oh, it doesn't really say do this, don't do that. I mean, you can make a bunch of
rules. It's about relationship. So the question becomes, it's like, where are you at with your
journey with the Lord? And you're like, well, what does my journey with the Lord have to do with me
jacking off? It has everything to do with that. That's what I'm trying to say on this call.
As this topic has come up, it has everything to do with it. And if you don't allow Holy Spirit
to manifest in the very moment where you feel
the most worthless because of like,
oh, I shouldn't have, or this and that, or whatever.
I feel bad about this.
My conscience has offended me.
My actions have offended me.
Then we're kind of missing the point.
This is the opportunity.
This is the time to invite God into your moment and go,
Lord, I'm sitting here having done what I've done.
I need you to show me the truth about this.
I need you to give me understanding.
I need you to not just heal my heart
and help me to do better.
It's not about that.
It's about like, where's the real power in this?
When you become inquisitive
and you become curious like that,
that is where you're going to be able to start understanding
and overcoming things because lots of times
what happens with things that are taboo,
when you start understanding those things
for what they really are,
the allure to them becomes a lot less.
When you understand that pornography is an expression
of not just objectifying women,
but literally the abuse and the enslavement of women
for the purposes of men to have their satisfaction,
primarily.
I know that women look at pornography too,
but let's just face it.
Most of pornography is basically a male-dominated situation
that has been made available by technology
and is literally involving the enslavement of women
who are actually on those videos.
And it's disgusting and it's a terrible situation.
It's not just, oh, those women want to be there.
No, they don't.
They have been deceived.
They have been lied to.
They have been given over to their own proclivities
for the sake of their own benefit.
And it's just an ungodly situation.
We all know it.
Let's call it out for what it is.
Well, another thing, pardon me, David.
Another thing you know about,
one thing you can know about pornography is
some of these videos are five to 12 years old.
And some of those women were exploited.
Some got out of it and are moving on and healing.
Sure, sure, sure.
So if women are doing that and they're healing
and they talk about their bad experiences,
maybe we should too.
Absolutely, what a beautiful brilliance.
What a beautiful insight.
You're like, hey, bro, like-
How long has this been on?
I love that because that's the inquisitive part of this,
guys, instead of like, oh, porn's bad.
I mean, it is, right?
Porn's bad.
It's destructive.
It really is.
We're saying that.
But beyond that truth, in order to have this,
this is where meekness comes into control.
You have power.
The masculine has power.
You have a tremendous amount of power.
You have a tremendous amount of say-so,
authority that is not being used in your life
because of whatever, because of deception,
because of unworthiness, because of culture telling you
that men should sit down, all that.
Here's a perfect example of where the divine masculine
can step in and do the right thing.
And this is why, and so you cannot,
in a moment of weakness,
you cannot, on a moment of weakness,
start to put yourself down in the situation.
The better action is to invite Holy Spirit
into your moment and begin to nurture and train you
in the power that you have
and take up the power that you have,
progress in the fruit of the spirit
of self-control and temperance,
and find and lead yourself that again,
the sexual drive is supposed to promote you
towards the kind of relationship
that God has designed for you,
that marriage relationship with you.
I know that seems like a big ask.
I know that seems like a huge, like,
Yeah, that's a long road.
Well, it may be.
It may be.
But it's a journey,
and it's a journey worth taking,
and it's a journey worth endeavoring.
But if you're going to continue,
and you can do this with other things in your life too,
that are not just standing up
to the righteousness of who you are, right?
You can do this with other things.
But if you're going to continue to just be overwhelmed
by the badness of, look what I did, look what I did,
and you're going to always continue to internalize it on you,
then we're missing the point.
And that's not a judgment.
That's not a shame thing.
That's just a way to tell you that that is not helpful.
It's not helpful to you.
It's not helpful to humanity.
It's not helpful to women.
It's not helpful to your future spirit mate.
What's helpful for you as a man of God who struggles,
and I'm not talking to you, Andy.
I'm talking to everybody on this call.
I'm talking to myself, guys.
And Mike said it true.
That said, just because you get married
doesn't mean this thing goes away.
That's so true.
So instead of trying to go, oh, woe is me.
How can I stop doing this?
The greater thing is for you to invite Holy Spirit
into your moment, even the darkest moments of your life,
and go, you know, this just happened.
And I need to know more about this.
I need to know more about this.
I need you to show me, Lord, where the power is in this
and where I'm missing using the right power,
where I could have escaped, because he makes a way of escape,
where I could have been better at exerting,
not my power to overcome, but my power in having
a heart of righteousness to where the thing in me that
drives me, that's my flesh, comes
under a spirit of temperance and self-control,
to where it's like, oh, that's not as much of an issue
anymore.
Is this making sense to anyone?
You guys still there?
Yeah, you know, David, you hit it.
Like, for me, it sounds so weird, so counterintuitive.
But really, it is to bring God into it.
And I mean, I've shared this before,
but I ended up falling to last.
And I was sitting there, and I was so mad at myself, right?
And I felt the Lord crying.
He's like, I don't really care what you did.
I just care now that we're broken,
or our relationship's broken.
And I just want you back.
And that was a revelation for me.
It's like, you know, he said, hey, guys, guess what?
If you don't think he doesn't see you, he sees you.
Of course.
I don't know why we have that stupid thing,
but God's not watching, but he is.
But it was like, oh.
And he just loved me.
And you guys have heard me say this a lot,
but if you have the neural pathway of falling,
you need to get a new neural pathway.
And even if you fall off the wagon,
the key is not staying off the wagon.
It's getting back on the new one, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Get back on.
And the more you get back on that wagon,
even if you get knocked off 100 times a day,
you get back on 101, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And then one day you'll look back and you're like,
oh, wait, where'd that road go?
It's gone.
Exactly, exactly.
And that is my experience, you guys.
I spent so many years in men's things,
and it was like sin management.
Like, I don't know how I can manage this.
You can't.
Yeah, you can't.
No, you can't do it.
Yeah, you can't do it in your own strength, for sure.
I mean, it's not about doing it in.
It's not about like, oh, I'm going
to get on this saddle again by my own strength.
No.
You're just surrendering to the truth and the spirit of God
that's trying to be living on the inside of you.
And loving yourself well.
Yeah, loving yourself well.
Like, you're not loving yourself well
if you're watching porn.
I'm sorry, you guys.
It's true.
Yeah.
And this, guys, this can be with anything.
This could be with finances. This could be with your
Your your purpose your ambitious purpose in your life. Like what are you supposed to be doing with your life?
This could be with relationships. This could be with your family
It's like any area where you feel less than and trust me. I have a lot of areas where I feel less than
Any area that you feel less than it's a constant invitation
For you to just step in to the presence of God and
And receive the invitation that Holy Spirit is asking of you in that moment in the dark moment
to say Lord
Help help me
One of the greatest prayers you can pray is Lord help help my unbelief
Obviously, I'm not I'm not seeing
What I should be seeing
So I need some I need some understanding here. I need some truth
Because your behavior only follows the actions
your actions only follow, you know, what you're seeing and what you're knowing and what you're understanding and
You can control what comes into your physical eye
Like I just want to turn that off. That's not good for me
But at the same time it's just like once you've had a what you've had a vision and
Then you have a thought
The sin doesn't happen until you like what are you gonna do with that thought?
What are you gonna do with that?
visual
Are you gonna you gonna surrender that you're gonna flush that you're gonna surrender that are you gonna act upon that?
You
Know and there's a very there's a very there's a very important moment in that
And it's not just and again, it's not straddling the line. It's not trying to lie
I'm gonna go right up to the line as far as I can go
And if the longer I don't cross that line, I'm good. No, it's not about that. That's a terrible way to live a
Better place to live is like seeing the line on the road that can be crossed like who can't cross a painted line on a
traffic laws
To see a painted line on the road doesn't physically stop you
You just understand that when you cross that line and you break the break the rules of traffic
You're putting yourself and other people in danger because other people are trying to abide by the laws of traffic as well
But understanding that value of the relationship of you and other drivers on the road and you and other people in life
so to speak and
your relationship with God and what's what's righteous and what's good and
You are allowing yourself to be
Bordered by the love of God in your life
rather than just your
fleshly desires
You can have lust for money just as much as you can have lust for a picture of a woman
When you allow God to
Help you give the borders of love in your life
Then you're a powerful man
Then you're an attractive man
Then you are a man who is set a forward with purpose
then you were a man and
Again this is a journey
It's a journey down a road and sometimes you're running down the road
Sometimes you're walking down the road
Sometimes you stop on the road and you're like looking around. You might even wander off the road, but you you wander back on the road
and
So it's not about the pace. It's about the direction. You're going down that road and
And progress is you moving forward. I
Hope that makes sense. I
Hope that brings freedom
To you to go look I'm unsatisfied or I'm unhappy with certain areas of my life
I even feel bad about certain areas in my life and certain things
I mean, it's good that this topic came up because again, it's it's a very taboo topic
But it's just like every other topic in our life
The things that in the areas that you feel insignificant in unworthy that you feel unfulfilled that you feel like less than
These are the areas to surrender
And go Lord. I need help with this. I need understanding in this. I mean, I need to know how I'm missing this
Because I need to understand where's the power in this moment
You know, you've ever heard of this there's there's power and putting the fork down if you're ever trying to diet and lose weight
There's a power in going. You know what? I'm not gonna take the bite. I'm just gonna put the fork down
I'm just
going to turn the computer off. I'm going to limit my scrolling. I'm going to delete
the app if I have to. I'm going to go another way down another road so that I don't have
to go by a place that's a temptation for me. There's a power in taking a simple action
and that can bring a flood of righteous power to you that can be uplifting and going, okay,
God is with me. I understand more about that. It's more important of what God's trying to
do through me than me just not being a sinner. It's more important for you to understand
who you are as a son of God and the power that he's trying to get through your life
than it is for you just to not sin anymore or not be a bad person or not be whatever
you think is unworthy. I'm hoping this is making sense to you guys tonight. It's a good
topic. I'm glad we got into it. I'm glad we got into it. Andy, thank you for breaking
the seal on that. I guess I kind of wanted also something more practical because it usually
in the moment, what is it that is in the moment? Obviously, it's sexual gratification, but in the
moment, what is it that's driving you to do that? Is it just kind of like, oh, I just can't help
myself? Or is it just like, oh, I got to get a release? I got some. My temptation is when I'm
home idle by having downtime because I do all these things and now I want to be idle because
of my time off versus me going to bed, trying to snuggle so I can sleep better. I was thinking,
I could sleep better if I was sleeping with someone. No, that's good.
Well, no, I get it. I get it. Trust me. My own personal story was that when I became sexually
awakened myself, it was the time of my life where I was scared of the dark. I just only understood
this in the last year or so, guys. I literally understood that when I was a kid and I was a child,
I was trying to go to sleep, I was afraid of the dark. Being afraid of the dark was just like
a lot of kids. A lot of kids are afraid of the dark or afraid of something like that,
just monsters under the bed, whatever it is. Then when I became sexually awakened to realize,
oh, I have this ability to gratify myself, that became a soothing thing for me.
That became something that was very soothing. I didn't have to be afraid. I could just lean into
that. That was a childish thing. That was an immature thing, but it was part of my development.
I was a child. I was a young person. Then I had to learn later on how to be responsible
and sexually mature with that in my life. That's the process.
I did not do that well at all for most of my life and at times still don't.
Hello? I'm not saying that this is something that,
oh, well, here's what you do and then it's all done. That's not really the way it works.
That's why you can't just be like, oh, well, I'm going to find the answer. I'm going to stop.
That's going to make me stop it and then everything will be fine.
That's just not the way it works. It's a journey. It's a progress. It's a maturing.
It's a relationship. It's an ongoing. It's just like a continual leaning in.
Paul said it beautifully. He said, the things I don't want to do, I do. The things I do want to
do, I don't. When I was a child, I did childish things. Then as I grow up, I do more mature
things. I get away from the milk.
come into the meat of the word. This is the meat of the word. This is the maturing lessons in life
as men, as we're endeavoring to go after the Lord, as we're endeavoring to be more and more sons of
God and step into that identity. That's why we always talk about identity. I said, these are the
these are the rudiments of righteousness.
Can I jump in real quick, David? Because what I was hearing before I got here,
Andy, I don't think you, maybe you guys didn't get it, okay? So there's, you are never going
to be able to manage it. And you know, like, so like, like, as far as like, if you get started,
there's no, it's like opening Pandora's box, right? So, but you can wean off day by day,
get back on the, get off developing new neural pathways, new cravings, which will lead to
practice. There is a practical way to get over with the whole process. Absolutely.
When you realize the cost it takes to break that, you are much more, less likely to start over
again, because you know, the pain of getting, weaning yourself off of it. There's some truth.
Yeah. It's powerful.
I have a, I have a wind to share. Is that okay? Or yeah, go ahead.
So I went on a date on Sunday and it was really fun.
And yeah, so I was just learning about like, through this course, I've been learning a lot
about boundaries. And so, and I was always kind of felt like, oh, if I set boundaries,
people won't respect it. But I've actually been finding like, so I had four Zoom dates this week.
And several times I just said to the people, Hey, I don't want to share that. And I was just
setting a boundary and, and they actually thanked me every time. And when I was like,
I went on the date, the girl went to kiss me a couple of times. And I just kind of,
at the end, I was like, Isaac, I gotta, I gotta get out of here. Cause I'm gonna,
I gotta run. Cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna run into trouble if I stay. And the girls thanked me so
much. She said, thank you for showing boundaries. And she said, I so respect you as a man of God
for showing boundaries. That is super powerful. And, and, and that to me, cause like before this
course, I would have done it. I would have kissed the girl, but I was like, Hey, this is, this is
level two for now. Cause just the first date, I don't want to rush it. And she just, she just
said, she started crying. I said, thank you so much for respecting that. And thank you for not
doing that. She said, and so, yeah, that was really moving. And I got kind of inundated in
the last two weeks because I recently just went on a dating sites and I got over like 200 messages
from people and, and I kind of wanted to hide, but I said, you know what, Lord, no, I've been
learning these new things and I want to start practicing some of the things I've been learning.
So yeah, it's been a really great process. That's, that's incredible. I love that Testament.
That really caps off basically what we were talking about all night, which is basically
like, like you have an understanding, you have a higher level of understanding now
about how to treat a woman in the level of relationship that you're at.
And you acted upon it instead of what you would have maybe done before.
And you're like, you know what? I have a higher understanding. I have a higher value for who I am,
what God is doing in my life and the relationships that I'm after. And because I understand that,
I'm not going to take this step where I could have. That's called meekness. That's called power
under control. That is righteous. That is a fruit of the spirit. That is powerful. That is a prime
example of everything we've been talking about tonight. And I love that. I love that you're
sharing that. And, um, that's something that we can apply, not just in the area of like
physical intimacy, sexual gratification, all that. We can apply that to so many different areas
where it's like, God, I need a higher understanding. I need a higher
uh, development, development, understanding of what's happening when I'm in this mess.
And then God's like, okay, now, now that you have this higher understanding,
here's an opportunity for you to exhibit that. That's, that's wonderful.
That's what we're here to do. And it's totally true what you were saying about like feeling the
because like, I definitely felt a power when I like these people were respecting my boundaries.
So one girl before our Facebook date, she like saw one on my Facebook page and said,
oh, I see you're really into politics.
And I don't really know if that's for me and I just said hey, you know what?
It's a first date and I don't talk about those things. Let's just get to know each other and that's good
She actually said hey, thank you so much for that
She said I really she said I really respect you as a man of God and your leadership that God's given you and she said
Thank you for
Putting those boundaries in place and she said I really really respected that and she wrote me a long letter today saying thank you
boundaries
That's awesome. That's the that's what women are looking for and the other thing that said that's another area
You talk about like it's like politics, you know anymore
Politics is just you know, well, I mean, it's always been that way
But I mean like, you know leading to violence and so forth, you know, it's another things like those of you
They're like fighters and like I'm ready to fight. You know, I'm reading a story of a
biography right now an
autobiography by a guy that
You know, he's like telling his story and everything and he's just like come with others
One of those guys just like prone to fight, you know, like get into get into fights
and
It's just like it's just that it's there's that moment when you're faced with a situation
It's just like I could or I couldn't you know, I can or I can't
You know, and it's just like that decision moment. Like am I gonna do this or am I gonna not this much throw this punch?
I'm gonna turn I'm gonna scroll some more. I'm gonna turn that on
You know, I'm saying you say how this is like this is applicable to so many things
And it's that moment at which
That's that either that way of escape or that moment that God's like what's what's this son of mine gonna do?
You know, what's he gonna do
Is he gonna choose life or is he gonna choose death?
He's gonna choose righteousness or he's gonna choose
The way of the flesh
And these are the moments and they're altogether lovely and beautiful
Because you can walk through them and
You can experience them with the power of the Lord or you can experience them the power of your flesh
And
And I
You lean into the power of the power of righteousness the power of the Spirit of the Lord
You know the better off you're gonna be for sure
Amen
Good
Guys, I I want to kind of like I said, I just got home. I'm exhausted
So we're gonna we're gonna leave her up right at the time tonight, but bless you guys
Great discussion tonight. Thank you all that shared
So powerful, thank you Andy for updating us. Thank you Mike for chiming in and being vulnerable
Thank you, David, right for sharing. Thank you hunter
And thank you powerful, okay guys god bless have a great week, it's all talk to you