WEBVTT

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Hi, this is Monday, October 6th, with all these amazing, and we're just going to get

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into it.

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So, any wins for y'all this week?

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What's going on?

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What's shaking?

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Give me the good news.

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I got my plane tickets and Airbnb for when I go back to the Philippines for a second

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time to visit to visit Jal.

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That's exciting.

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What was that going to be?

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I'm going to be leaving on December 28th, and I'm going to be flying back on January

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9th.

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So, I'll be there for about two weeks, maybe a week and a half.

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How long is that flight?

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It's 24 hours.

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It's pretty far, but it's like two stops.

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The first stop is going to be Texas, and then after that, Hong Kong, and then Manila.

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And then from Manila, I have to take a bus that will be like a four-hour bus ride.

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Plane to change to an automobile.

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So, yeah, it's pretty far, and definitely worth it to see Jal again and meet her family

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this time.

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That's super cool.

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So, you already have kind of an itinerary, it sounds like.

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You have a plan?

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You need to be a man with a plan.

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We don't really have too solid of a plan, but I guess the main part is just meeting

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her family.

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I mean, that's a pretty big step.

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The only thing that's going to be a little bit tricky is that part of the Filipino culture

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is bonding over food, you know?

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Unfortunately, I can't do that because I have IBS, so it's going to be tricky.

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I have to make it very clear to them that I'm not insulting their cooking.

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Well, may your IBS be healed in Jesus' name, and just pray for your IBS, that you can actually

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do everything you're supposed to do, and that your intestine gut will function properly

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in Jesus' name.

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All right.

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Be healed.

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All right.

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That's cool.

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Anybody else with a win?

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I have a win.

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I had a really meaningful scuba dive, a couple scuba diving sessions that really have challenged

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my worldview in a lot of ways.

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They've been teaching me a lot about how valuable it is to be someone who has a sense of where

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you are and where you need to go, either individually or as a team or as a group.

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That kind of responsibility, both below and above the water, has really been impacting

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me tremendously.

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I think I've tended to not take responsibility for that, and I've also been working on not

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using the phrase kind of, which I just used.

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So yeah, I'm really grateful for that, and I would love to hear feedback from the group

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at some point about what you feel that it looks like to ... What's the line between

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paying attention and having an opinion?

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When is that confidence?

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When is it arrogance?

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When is it cowardice or timidity?

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So anyway, but that's been a good win.

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It's really been propelling me forward.

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Well, do you mind if I just speak to that, or can we talk about that for a sec?

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Sure.

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I feel like any time that you listen to somebody and you do it in love, and they feel heard,

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whether you differ ... I deal with a lot of people who don't ... We don't have the same

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ideals or ... We're very different, but I can listen to them and love on them well,

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even though that ... And be like, you know, that's great.

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I'm glad that you stick to your faith.

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Mine's a little different, but I can respect and honor that.

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And just ... But my whole thing is that we're made to love everybody, right?

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So I deal with a lot ...

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people who are in same-sex marriages, which is completely was outside of my comfort zone for

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it's still not hugely there. But when I go in there with just to love on them and just to

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do whatever the father wants to do, it kind of changes my paradigm. I don't need to

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exert, you know, if they ask me something, I'll answer it in a kind way, right? In an honoring

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way. But I used to try to go into those places and exert what I know. And now it's more like

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I just choose love and try to build a connection for the kingdom to actually, because, you know,

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if you can develop a relationship, then they'll actually want to know what you

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believe sometimes. Right. And so that I don't know if that's what you're talking about, Thomas,

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or is it something not at all? I was like, of course, you know, I'm going to go on a diet tribe

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and it's going to be completely. So what were you referencing? What context are you talking?

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Yeah. So like underwater, it was my first dive with someone who also wasn't kind of

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like an expert navigator. So it was the kind of situation where it's like, where's the boat?

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Like, oh, like, how do we and then so and then above the water, I think that things like you're

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about to me seem moderately easy when it's like, oh, there's a scriptural standard and I kind of

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know what the standard is. I think it's more to me like things where it doesn't seem like there's a

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clear scriptural standard. And I agree with you. There's the concept of example and invitation.

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And I think I was hearing you say you encourage me to focus on love, which is fantastic. I think

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what I have realized is that when I'm around other people, it's easy for me to sit back

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and assume that I don't have enough insight to make any kind of to form an informed opinion.

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And, you know, if it's about maybe where to go to dinner or what needs to have, you know,

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I agree with you, there's that idea of like, invitation instead of command, which I've been

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learning about in dance class, you know, and things along those lines. So I don't know if

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that makes it at all more clear, but it's also but like, so you're talking underwater where

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you guys are both struggling to know what to do. And do you find yourself getting anxious?

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Not not too anxious. I mean, we figured it out. We didn't land. We didn't come up too far from

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the boat. Yeah, it worked out fine. I think that I think that just in I've, I've tended to be

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to assume that my perspective of things like Kierkegaard said, we're all having subjective

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experience experiences of an objective reality. And so I've tended to emphasize kind of the

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nature and I find it difficult to understand when to draw conclusions and when to say,

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I don't know. So I'm going to kind of not take a position on this. And I just said, kind of again.

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Okay, yeah. So you so when you don't know, you're you kind of just fade and don't make a decision,

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but that like, because you don't know what to make the decision. And that's understandable,

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because you're like, what am I gonna do? I don't know what to do. Well, then like,

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what do I do? I don't know what to do, you know, like, so I get in that. And so it's like,

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you just kind of roll with it. And yeah, so I think that's hard when two people are in the

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same place. Right? You know, like, you're like, you know, when then you get married,

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it's like, where do you want to go for dinner? I don't want to go to just, you know, and so

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sometimes I mean, it sounds like you did a great job.

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I guess one thing, one thing that I'm thinking about is like, sometimes it's like, if you don't

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know what to do with your, your spouse or your woman you're dating, it's like, sometimes it's

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good just to be there with her. And then it's like, you experience it together. And like,

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even if it's awkward, it's like, it's actually not awkward, because like, you just you just

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are with each other. Well, and there's a grace like, okay, so, you know, you're two people who

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don't know what you're doing. You both know that you don't know what you're doing. So yeah,

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and you and you're in the same boat. You know, pun intended there, Mr. Thomas. But

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sorry, too much. But no, I just think what you did would be to be expected. I mean, I don't know

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what you would expect otherwise, unless you knew something that you that you knew. Does that make

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without knowing anything, then you did the best of what you could.

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Yeah, I appreciate that. I guess as someone who grew up believing you just have to trust

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other people, and especially authority figures. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be learning.

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to be someone who's trustworthy

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and have an informed opinion

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instead of displacing that responsibility onto others.

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Yeah, no, that's good.

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And yeah, and that's a big, it's a ginormous shift, right?

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If we're coming out of that paradigm.

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Right, you know, and that's, you know,

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that's like Danny Silk talks about

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becoming a powerful person, right?

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Where you start giving your power away.

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And for the longest time in my life,

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I didn't realize I was doing it,

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but then I'm listening to him and I'm like, oh.

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And then I had a friend who I was teaching,

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we were going through it together.

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And he's like, somebody's not being a powerful person.

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I'm like, I'm gonna punch you

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and you'll see how powerful I am.

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I'm like, oh my gosh.

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So, you know, that's why it's good to have friends

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and iron sharpening iron, you know,

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but like, no, I'm proud of you, you're amazing.

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Like it's, for me, it's such a,

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when I don't know, it's such a scary place for me, right?

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Because when I haven't known what to do,

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it's been painful for me.

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And, you know, I'm learning to just have peace

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and do my best, right?

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You know, and so, and I'd be,

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and for me, if I was underwater

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and somebody wasn't communicating well,

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that would take my anxiety level up a couple of notches.

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So you're doing good with that, right?

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So yeah, cool.

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I'm glad you're taking swings

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and, you know, eventually you'll know how to do a lot more

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and be able to help other people.

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Signed up for the rescue certification.

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So I'll be doing that soon.

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I have a book recommendation for you, Thomas.

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It's a graphic novel and it's called Underwater Welder.

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And it's that exact premise of someone,

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he's an underwater welder

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and he starts philosophizing as he's underwater

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and making his own decisions.

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And then in his thoughts,

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he becomes a time traveler and sees ghosts.

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And, but it's all about like,

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when you're underwater scuba diving,

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the decisions are different

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than they would be in real life.

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And then his underwater decisions impact his real life.

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And so it's kind of a cool,

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cool example of what you were talking about.

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Thanks, David.

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And thanks, Mike, also.

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One scary aspect I heard about scuba diving

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is the coming up, like you have to come up gradually

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or like you could die because of that.

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You don't wanna get the bends.

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Yeah, that's not helpful.

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You make a safety stop.

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This is the signal for that.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, don't work on decompression.

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What is it?

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Decompression, I forget, yeah.

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So cool.

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Well, and you know, and Thomas, I'm glad that you're like,

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I mean, you're always,

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you're always dallying and in all these different things,

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but it's cool.

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Cause I'm like, you know, you're doing dance,

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you're doing scuba.

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I mean, you're living life.

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And that's, that's amazing.

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Most people don't live, right?

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So good job.

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I mean, and that goes for everybody, you guys,

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you know, it's few people, what is it?

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Oh, so a few people live, I forget.

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But like, you know, a lot of people exist,

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but few people live.

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Everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives.

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Yes, there it is.

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Thank you, Thomas.

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I knew you would know it.

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I was like, come on, help me, save me.

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I'm dying here.

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Rescue, rescue, get your certification.

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But you know, guys, I made a choice.

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I asked like, is this living or is this existing?

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And usually living takes more effort,

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but I just, I've started asking like in decisions,

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is this living or existing?

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Because I don't want to exist, I want to live, right?

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And now, I mean, I'm building a life that I want, right?

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I mean, there's not everything is gone.

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Like in the midst of waiting and in the midst of, you know,

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I don't know who said it, but they're like,

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build a life that somebody wanted to join, right?

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And like, and I've taken that to heart,

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even though I'm not so good at managing bad with

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at the moment.

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I'm doing a lot of, a ton of coaching during the week,

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but even that's part of something that I just am doing.

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So cool.

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Anybody else got a win?

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Or anybody, or something they want to talk about

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and get some insight, you know, to bounce around?

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Yeah, I have a win.

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So I'm officially in level 3A,

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as Renee was saying last week.

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You know, you were technically officially in 3A last week,

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we just, but now it's official.

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Amazing.

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Yeah, but I didn't, but her and I.

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that conversation and, uh, so, um,

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Oh, I think we froze.

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Oh, there you go.

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Now you might want to kill your video.

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I think it's killing your thing.

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So you had the conversation.

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How'd that go?

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Honestly, it went amazing.

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And, uh, I like, so for those who weren't here last week, so I'm, I'm seeing

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someone who's also in the program.

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Um, I met her via my spotlight.

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So spotlights aren't broken.

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Um, and, uh, yeah.

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And so, um, but it's been going really well.

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And one of the things she said, she said, she said for a long time, because

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she's been in the program since 2021.

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And so she said for her, she kind of felt like, Oh, sometimes

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the program contradicts itself.

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But she said, it's so different being led by a man who's in this program.

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Cause she said, as a man, when you're taking authority, I mean, these things

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out, she said, like, I'm literally relearning all this stuff, so she's

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actually been watching the videos as I'm watching them because I'm

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in the past sessions right now.

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And so she just said, you know what?

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Whatever video you watch, I'm going to watch.

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And so it's been kind of cool learning those things together.

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And she says, and for her, she said, it's been so cool because

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she said, like, you know what?

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Like, like seeing the authority that you're walking through these things

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to go, sometimes I would say like, Oh, I don't know if that actually happens,

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but she said, it's so cool.

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Like watching you walk these things out in this program.

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So yeah,

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that's cool.

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And you know, you guys, so like, you know, that's super amazing.

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Like you're, you're leading and you don't, I don't know.

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I don't know if you understand, like you're leading, right?

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Like, like, like you guys, you know, every woman wants a

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spiritual leader or a leader, right?

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I mean, both.

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And a lot of, I don't know about you, but when I hear that, I feel that

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the weight of that, I'm like, you know, it could be as simple as.

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Watching a video or going through, going through something, watching

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something, listening to something, reading the word, going through a study, doing

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this, it doesn't have to be this huge thing where you have to manufacture a

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five, you know, five page sermon and, you know, lead well, it could just, and

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especially if you marry somebody who has a lot better, more higher spiritual EQ

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than you, the way you, you know, you don't have to top her.

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You can just use her, like you can, you can enable her in her

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giftings and that's also leading.

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Does that make sense?

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Does that make sense?

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Does being a spiritual leader freak you guys out at all?

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No, it's, uh, it's just been cool walking out with things in this program

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because I think, uh, the way that Jackie, uh, instructs us to lead is a little

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different, it's very Holy Spirit led, right?

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It's listening to the spirit first and then acting out of it.

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Whereas I can be a little bit impulsive.

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Whereas like, whether, whether it's the Lord or not, I'm going down with the ship.

295
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Like, and so that's one thing that I've really been learning from this program

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is it's not like, Oh, what would Jackie say?

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But it's like, what's the Holy Spirit saying?

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And kind of stopping asking the Lord in those moments and then being

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really honest with the Lord.

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Cause I think for a long time, I haven't been honest.

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I've just been kind of faking it until I make it, but God's like,

302
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just be honest with me.

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Tell me where you're at.

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I mean, like when you fake it, you make it, he already knows.

305
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He's asking one day, I was like, Lord, you already know.

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Why am I even trying to nevermind?

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Like, okay.

308
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Can I ask you a question of, uh, David, uh, right.

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Hey David, so are you guys, how did you meet through the program and

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then are you long distance and how do you navigate that?

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Yeah.

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So, um, we met simply because I put my Instagram in my tagline and so she,

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uh, has been in the program a long time.

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And so she, she kind of recognized because my profile said David Wright,

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33 Kingston, and then have my Instagram.

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So she just messaged me actually after the Sunday prayer call once.

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Um, and so she lives in, in Ottawa, which is about two hours away.

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Um, and so we first started talking via zoom and we did like four or five zooms

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and then we met in person twice.

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And so we've kind of committed now to be trying to meet every weekend.

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Um, so she's a better planner than I am.

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So I just said, Hey, I'll just send you my schedule and then you just

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plan which days work and then we'll just make that work.

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So yeah.

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That's awesome.

326
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Sounds great.

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Good job.

328
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Yeah.

329
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And that's a great thing right there.

330
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See, like I have a lot of gifts and a lot of gifts, right?

331
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Administration is not.

332
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And so like, I'm hoping to find somebody who's a planner because I'm, I'm really

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great at doing things like leading things, but I'm not really good at getting things

334
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together. And so like, you know, complimentary opposites, that's a great, like, that's something

336
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that you should be looking for, too, is complimentary opposites, somebody who's

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would fit well. Right? So yeah. So David, that's another, that's another green flag.

338
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Right? Like, you know, I mean, I think too often, I don't know if you guys, if you look at it as,

339
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oh, I'm lacking in this area. It's really like, well, you have your own strengths,

340
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right? They have their strengths, you have this. So it's a win win, you know, together,

341
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you're better if you're full. You know, if you have if you have different gifts and strengths,

342
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you're fuller with each other. And, you know, if you all have the same strengths,

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it can be good, too. But it's sometimes redundant. You know, so yeah, so it's amazing.

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And David, I'm just proud of you, dude. Like, you just keep crushing it. And so,

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you know, and I actually have been using you. You've challenged me a bit. And in a lot of the

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coaching, I've been, you know, speaking to some guys kind of, like toe the line. You know, you

347
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just brought things up because you're following it. And that's what I do love about Jackie's

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program is I've been through a lot of things, but it's Holy Spirit led. Right? Like, you know,

349
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and that's the key in. I mean, you can work when you don't hear the Holy Spirit, you work off of

350
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what you know, or what you've learned. But I found that the Holy Spirit,

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listening to the Holy Spirit, at least a much more breakthrough than just

352
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like standard counseling or standard thought patterns, right? Because God has a because

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every one of you has a specific call on your life. And, you know, you know, Tim and David,

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you could both have the same exact circumstance and two different things that the Lord wants you

355
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to do. And if you go off with something you read in a book, that's just overarching, then one of

356
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you is going to be disappointed because it's, but the Holy Spirit's going to lead you the path that

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you should take. You know, Jesus is the lamp to our feet. So when you can't see, he gives you the

358
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right in front of you, right? And then he's a light to your path when you can see the whole path.

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I like the light to the path. I'm not really a big fan of the light to the feet under my feet

360
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because I want to see forward. Just, just being honest. Right. But, you know, and, you know,

361
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and the other thing is this guy's obedience. You don't have to worry about the end, like end game

362
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and how you're going to get there. You just need to worry about the next step of being obedient

363
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with that. And he will get you to where you're supposed to go. And what, you know, and, and,

364
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and a lot, and, and you guys there's so many people, you guys have calls, you got things

365
00:22:51.980 --> 00:22:59.800
on your life. Like your spirit mate is like secondary. It's like, it's what it's, it's,

366
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it's needed for what you need to do, but it's not your primary objective. Right. So it's, it's,

367
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it's like, it's, it's something it's an add in versus a primary. So like you focus on what

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you're supposed to do primarily in the Lord will add in and bring to her alongside you.

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And, and Thomas, I love that you're doing all these things that somebody can come alongside

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you and do. And I'm jealous because I really want to do dance lessons and I'm actually

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dealt with a lot of healing. So I'm hoping to get my salsa on soon, but

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no tango, no tango, you know, I, you know, I, I have to give you props though. I, because I don't

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know if I would, you know, sitting in that position, I'm like, I don't know if I would

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have done it probably, probably because that's kind of how I roll. But at the same time,

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I would have been thinking, well, is this honoring, is this, this, is this, that,

376
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and the fact that you did it, dude, it's amazing, you know? And, and, and, and I,

377
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and I see so much favor on your relationship, David, right? Like that's when you do,

378
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when you do it God's way, there's favor on it. And when the, and it's, and, and it's also when,

379
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okay, when things align and you do it his way, you know, because there's a lot of things you

380
00:24:23.880 --> 00:24:30.040
can't kick the door down, but you also can't stop it once it's open, right? You know, he opens,

381
00:24:30.100 --> 00:24:35.440
he closes doors that no one can open. He opens doors that no one can shut. So like, so I,

382
00:24:35.700 --> 00:24:39.520
you know, like, I just hope you take heart. You see what's happening in David's life and

383
00:24:39.880 --> 00:24:44.740
the Lord is just watering it and he's being obedient. He's taking the steps, he's doing the

384
00:24:45.160 --> 00:24:53.300
thing, right? So any other things that you guys want to jump into and talk about, you know?

385
00:24:53.780 --> 00:24:59.860
Well, I just liked the, the concept you're talking about with the opposites attract. And I think I

386
00:25:00.580 --> 00:25:07.640
I have that sort of thing going on with me and and gel right now and that's it's going really good. But um

387
00:25:08.860 --> 00:25:14.320
there's also a flip side that I've heard that sometimes opposites attract can be

388
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Like not good in some aspects and I'm just wondering like what type of

389
00:25:19.320 --> 00:25:22.580
Okay, things I should be wary of you know for okay

390
00:25:22.820 --> 00:25:28.940
So Simba's, you know Simba's save your marriage before it starts Jackie talks about it. Yeah, so

391
00:25:29.860 --> 00:25:31.960
So, okay, so yes

392
00:25:32.280 --> 00:25:34.380
opposites attract because you're

393
00:25:35.240 --> 00:25:39.240
You're kind of attracted to the things that you're not you don't have in your life a lot of times, right?

394
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:45.740
My ex and I were polar opposites in every way actually our counselor said we should never have gotten married

395
00:25:46.120 --> 00:25:49.800
Because she'd never seen anybody that polar opposite, right?

396
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:57.320
I mean like if there because there's a gradient you guys okay, so, you know on one side

397
00:25:57.320 --> 00:26:01.380
There's a there's 200% there's a hundred this way a hundred that way, right?

398
00:26:01.400 --> 00:26:07.600
Well, we were we were always 200% apart, which we made it work for 19 years and ultimately cancer

399
00:26:08.840 --> 00:26:12.480
was the one of the culminating factors and killing it but

400
00:26:15.500 --> 00:26:21.800
Opposites can bring fire and fire can be great right because fire can bring you together or it can blow you apart

401
00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:31.960
You can be attracted to opposites, but you don't have to marry him and

402
00:26:31.960 --> 00:26:34.920
Jackie talks about complimentary opposites, right?

403
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:36.500
where

404
00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:41.700
Because you really don't want to be butting heads on everything your whole relationship, right?

405
00:26:43.220 --> 00:26:49.360
But for me, I actually found that as we did that I came more to

406
00:26:50.100 --> 00:26:55.400
Came off the polls towards the middle more and I became much more rounded person

407
00:26:56.680 --> 00:26:59.460
Now that that took that that wasn't

408
00:27:01.120 --> 00:27:08.460
The easiest thing so I think the Simba's save your marriage before it starts it'll look at your where you where you have similarities

409
00:27:09.740 --> 00:27:12.460
At least if I remember I I'm pretty sure

410
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:16.720
But like it looks at your strengths and your weaknesses of the relationship, right?

411
00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:22.200
And so you can look at it and go. Oh, yeah, we're great here, but we need to watch out here and in this area

412
00:27:22.900 --> 00:27:27.880
You know, like we're opposites here, so how are we going to navigate this and

413
00:27:28.620 --> 00:27:34.540
and so it if you marry somebody opposite make sure that you can you can

414
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:36.200
resolve conflict

415
00:27:37.300 --> 00:27:42.480
Because if you marry somebody opposite, well, I mean everybody you should you should be

416
00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:48.420
If you can't resolve conflict in your your relationships really not going to do well, right?

417
00:27:48.420 --> 00:27:53.500
So that's something that you can always work on now. You can work it do it with co-workers. You can do it with

418
00:27:53.760 --> 00:27:59.080
Family, you can do it with other things. You can get you can get reps in in managing conflict conflict

419
00:27:59.160 --> 00:28:02.320
You know you guys you guys are you're gonna screw up. You're gonna blow up

420
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:07.380
It's not that when you screw up, it's not that you're never gonna do something that hurts them

421
00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:09.960
It's that you learn how to do

422
00:28:10.420 --> 00:28:15.340
The repair and you own it and you and you fix when you blow it

423
00:28:15.340 --> 00:28:16.200
All right

424
00:28:17.380 --> 00:28:18.380
That's good

425
00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:25.120
Like I've actually been getting a lot of experience with that with gel like we've had like our moments and we've gotten through it

426
00:28:25.120 --> 00:28:29.380
And so we're learning, you know, so it's good. Yeah, what were you say Thomas?

427
00:28:29.880 --> 00:28:32.560
Can I give an example since since you asked for an example Andrew?

428
00:28:34.700 --> 00:28:35.200
So

429
00:28:35.900 --> 00:28:37.480
My first girlfriend, you know

430
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:42.600
There were very kind of healthy differences that we had like she was really good at fashion and that kind of stuff

431
00:28:42.600 --> 00:28:47.520
Which was a major growth area for me in that. So that was one thing where it was fantastic

432
00:28:48.080 --> 00:28:52.820
After the relationship ended I walked away feeling like she was very controlling

433
00:28:54.020 --> 00:28:58.500
And then I was talking to my sister about it and my sister said hey

434
00:28:58.500 --> 00:29:02.920
Do you remember that book changes the heel that you gave me to read and I was like, yes

435
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:05.760
she said in that book it said that

436
00:29:05.760 --> 00:29:12.780
Like sometimes we attract the opposite of it ourselves and I feel like you know, you're feeling like she was very controlling

437
00:29:12.780 --> 00:29:17.320
I wonder if you might have been on the other side of that and been passive

438
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:20.000
and I

439
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:27.500
Felt very convicted because it was a hundred percent true and I realized that that was one kind of aspect where we were

440
00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:34.540
Different in our unhealth kind of like matched up and we could have maybe worked through it and become healthier

441
00:29:34.540 --> 00:29:37.920
But we didn't have the maturity to do that at the time

442
00:29:39.060 --> 00:29:42.220
So it's exciting that there are really positive positive

443
00:29:42.780 --> 00:29:49.940
Differences and then it's also always interesting when those negative ones kind of line up in less healthy ways

444
00:29:50.820 --> 00:29:53.980
Yeah, that's so good. Thomas. Sure, you know, and that's the thing. It's like

445
00:29:54.600 --> 00:29:59.980
it's such a good point like all my ex and I had a lot of negative things that we

446
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.820
we had to hammer through.

447
00:30:02.040 --> 00:30:03.380
And that was a lot of counseling,

448
00:30:03.480 --> 00:30:06.060
but I got really good at it, right?

449
00:30:06.060 --> 00:30:10.900
And so I don't regret it one second.

450
00:30:12.020 --> 00:30:13.880
I mean, well, I mean, pretty much my whole life,

451
00:30:13.940 --> 00:30:15.040
we were opposites in every way.

452
00:30:15.220 --> 00:30:18.060
So every area I was growing in,

453
00:30:18.060 --> 00:30:20.440
initially it was like, man, can I do anything right?

454
00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:23.220
You know, but you know,

455
00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:26.020
but when you stay in the game and you don't give up

456
00:30:26.660 --> 00:30:28.180
and you keep pushing forward,

457
00:30:29.280 --> 00:30:31.620
I've grown, you know, it's funny,

458
00:30:31.700 --> 00:30:34.360
cause I'm like, it ended when I felt like I just got good.

459
00:30:35.300 --> 00:30:35.820
Right?

460
00:30:35.860 --> 00:30:40.060
But so you guys, I hope this doesn't crush you.

461
00:30:40.140 --> 00:30:42.580
I just really like marriage

462
00:30:42.580 --> 00:30:44.840
is the biggest mirror in your life.

463
00:30:44.880 --> 00:30:47.680
It's gonna lead to the greatest change in your life.

464
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:51.600
And then kids come, which then they're little,

465
00:30:51.620 --> 00:30:54.260
even smaller mirrors that show you different aspects

466
00:30:54.260 --> 00:30:56.960
of yourself, and then you get to grow in that.

467
00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:59.520
But the coolest thing is that if you do it well

468
00:30:59.520 --> 00:31:03.640
and you grow together, you have one amazing marriage, right?

469
00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:05.780
And you become everything that God's made you to be.

470
00:31:06.180 --> 00:31:07.940
So don't be afraid of, hey, you know,

471
00:31:07.940 --> 00:31:08.600
we're gonna have conflict.

472
00:31:09.320 --> 00:31:11.500
Now be afraid if you can't resolve conflict,

473
00:31:11.820 --> 00:31:13.880
that's a problem, right?

474
00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:15.760
Like the number one thing when I'm looking at couples

475
00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:16.960
is like, how do they deal with conflict?

476
00:31:17.900 --> 00:31:19.700
Because you know, when conflict comes,

477
00:31:19.780 --> 00:31:21.640
if you can resolve it, it doesn't matter what comes at you

478
00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:22.480
because you're gonna win.

479
00:31:23.280 --> 00:31:25.500
You know, and how do they do that?

480
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:29.300
You know, how do you guys connect?

481
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:33.020
Like, you know, when your lady goes,

482
00:31:33.240 --> 00:31:33.920
hey, how was your day?

483
00:31:33.940 --> 00:31:35.720
She's not saying, how was your day?

484
00:31:35.740 --> 00:31:37.460
She's like, hey, I wanna connect with you.

485
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:40.000
So, you know, we're like dudes like,

486
00:31:40.500 --> 00:31:43.780
my day sucked, end of story, game over, you know?

487
00:31:43.900 --> 00:31:46.080
And like, you know, and then she's like,

488
00:31:46.120 --> 00:31:47.100
well, I wonder why it sucked.

489
00:31:47.180 --> 00:31:50.840
And I wonder what happened and what made you feel that way?

490
00:31:50.860 --> 00:31:51.520
Why it wasn't great?

491
00:31:51.520 --> 00:31:52.480
I wish it was great for you.

492
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:54.300
I mean, this is all the things that go, yeah.

493
00:31:56.680 --> 00:32:05.140
Yeah, and so I just, does that, does the,

494
00:32:06.180 --> 00:32:07.660
what do you guys think of that?

495
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:09.260
That marriage is a mirror

496
00:32:09.260 --> 00:32:11.480
and it's gonna shape and change you?

497
00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:13.400
Does that freak you guys out?

498
00:32:13.500 --> 00:32:16.600
Or is that, does that bring anything to mind?

499
00:32:17.020 --> 00:32:18.360
Or how does that make you feel?

500
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:22.300
I think it makes me feel good

501
00:32:22.300 --> 00:32:26.500
because like it builds virtue and character.

502
00:32:27.060 --> 00:32:27.140
Yeah.

503
00:32:28.980 --> 00:32:31.040
No, it's a hundred percent.

504
00:32:32.260 --> 00:32:33.500
What was the question, Mike?

505
00:32:34.660 --> 00:32:35.920
So how does it feel like,

506
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:37.860
when I say, hey, marriage is a mirror

507
00:32:37.860 --> 00:32:40.020
and you know, the thing, marriage is a mirror

508
00:32:40.020 --> 00:32:41.760
and it's gonna shape you.

509
00:32:42.020 --> 00:32:43.020
You know, things are gonna come up

510
00:32:43.020 --> 00:32:44.600
that are gonna be conflict, there's conflict,

511
00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:46.880
but it's gonna actually help you grow, you know?

512
00:32:46.900 --> 00:32:48.760
Cause I think a lot of people think marriage

513
00:32:48.760 --> 00:32:50.760
is like all sunshine and roses

514
00:32:50.760 --> 00:32:53.440
and unicorns, right?

515
00:32:54.100 --> 00:32:55.520
You know, yeah.

516
00:32:56.040 --> 00:32:59.440
Yeah, no, no, actually marriage was made to kill you.

517
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:01.360
That's true.

518
00:33:01.780 --> 00:33:02.280
Oh, it is.

519
00:33:02.560 --> 00:33:05.100
Seriously, it was made to deny self

520
00:33:05.100 --> 00:33:06.980
and be a servant to somebody else.

521
00:33:07.220 --> 00:33:11.660
Jesus said, you husbands, you are to love your wife

522
00:33:11.660 --> 00:33:13.020
as Christ loves the church.

523
00:33:13.180 --> 00:33:15.100
He died for the church, guys.

524
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:19.400
And so in doing so,

525
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:22.080
Bible says we are to work on our salvation

526
00:33:22.080 --> 00:33:23.180
with fear and trembling.

527
00:33:23.960 --> 00:33:26.160
Well, it is also to work on our marriages

528
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:27.340
with fear and trembling.

529
00:33:28.140 --> 00:33:31.900
It's because we have the tougher responsibility

530
00:33:31.940 --> 00:33:35.960
before God to lead our wives in the ways of righteousness,

531
00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:38.220
to lead our wives in the ways of godliness.

532
00:33:38.540 --> 00:33:40.740
That's a higher responsibility.

533
00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:44.800
And in doing so, we need to know who we are.

534
00:33:45.060 --> 00:33:47.780
We need to know what the word says about being a husband,

535
00:33:47.780 --> 00:33:51.600
what it means to be a wife and to live a righteous life.

536
00:33:52.040 --> 00:33:53.840
So we have the bigger assignment

537
00:33:54.440 --> 00:33:57.700
because as the word says, Christ is our head,

538
00:33:57.720 --> 00:33:59.380
but we're the head of our wives.

539
00:34:01.580 --> 00:34:03.140
That's a huge responsibility.

540
00:34:03.500 --> 00:34:08.060
So we better know what, who and what we are,

541
00:34:08.120 --> 00:34:09.480
what our responsibilities are.

542
00:34:09.560 --> 00:34:11.060
So yeah, it's gonna take a lot of work

543
00:34:11.420 --> 00:34:14.060
because Jesus had to put a lot of crop up with the sheep

544
00:34:14.060 --> 00:34:15.080
when he came here on earth.

545
00:34:15.320 --> 00:34:17.320
And there's some women that are gonna give you

546
00:34:17.320 --> 00:34:18.760
a little bit of trouble in,

547
00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:21.179
but that's why you try to choose some

548
00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:22.639
who's more like you.

549
00:34:23.540 --> 00:34:24.280
Some women.

550
00:34:24.940 --> 00:34:24.980
It's the opposite.

551
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:27.860
Yeah, no, that's so good, Kenton.

552
00:34:28.179 --> 00:34:30.560
I mean, that really is Ephesians 5.25, right?

553
00:34:31.060 --> 00:34:32.699
Husbands die for wives, Christ dies for the church,

554
00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:34.040
lift her up and blame us,

555
00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:35.820
wash in the water of the word, right?

556
00:34:35.980 --> 00:34:39.179
You guys memorize Ephesians 5.25.

557
00:34:39.420 --> 00:34:42.480
I can tell you, I hated when the Lord brought it up.

558
00:34:42.699 --> 00:34:45.900
I'd be mad at my wife and all of a sudden,

559
00:34:45.900 --> 00:34:47.460
Ephesians 5.25 is in my head.

560
00:34:47.580 --> 00:34:49.020
And I'm like, nope, not dying today.

561
00:34:49.300 --> 00:34:50.800
Nope, nope, not dying today.

562
00:34:50.940 --> 00:34:52.739
Jesus, you fix her, not me.

563
00:34:53.800 --> 00:34:56.820
But I encourage you, Ephesians 5.25, that whole,

564
00:34:57.460 --> 00:34:59.380
but make sure,

565
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.740
Prior to that, it's wives submit to your husbands

566
00:35:01.740 --> 00:35:03.920
and that's been used badly.

567
00:35:04.380 --> 00:35:06.640
And also you husbands submit to your wives,

568
00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:07.760
don't forget that one.

569
00:35:07.820 --> 00:35:09.740
Yeah, well, and then, but prior to that

570
00:35:09.740 --> 00:35:13.120
is both mutual submission to Christ, right?

571
00:35:13.120 --> 00:35:15.400
And people don't bring that into the whole

572
00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:16.760
wives submit to your husbands thing.

573
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:18.680
And I'm like, you guys, don't be that guy.

574
00:35:18.740 --> 00:35:20.960
Don't be that dude, because you're better than that.

575
00:35:21.180 --> 00:35:21.260
So-

576
00:35:21.580 --> 00:35:23.700
When she submits, she submits

577
00:35:23.740 --> 00:35:26.340
as she submits unto Jesus Christ.

578
00:35:26.340 --> 00:35:26.780
Yep.

579
00:35:27.300 --> 00:35:29.940
And so when the Bible says, you men submit to your wives,

580
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:33.080
we'll submit to her as Jesus Christ would submit to her.

581
00:35:33.680 --> 00:35:36.800
So it's always remember, Jesus are a prime example

582
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:39.200
of how we are to submit to one another.

583
00:35:40.820 --> 00:35:41.380
100%.

584
00:35:41.380 --> 00:35:43.700
And it's a healthy submission, by the way.

585
00:35:44.040 --> 00:35:44.260
Yeah.

586
00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:47.540
Here, there's no control because you're there.

587
00:35:47.740 --> 00:35:49.360
Have any one of you actually,

588
00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:51.340
when you were serious about somebody,

589
00:35:51.360 --> 00:35:53.840
you actually washed the woman's feet first?

590
00:35:55.140 --> 00:35:56.100
Oh, well-

591
00:35:56.100 --> 00:35:56.740
There you go.

592
00:35:57.020 --> 00:35:58.380
That's a whole new experience.

593
00:35:58.760 --> 00:36:02.520
And the woman has no concept what you're trying to do,

594
00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:05.680
but you're showing her a servant leader attitude.

595
00:36:06.180 --> 00:36:08.620
You're coming, you're not lording over her,

596
00:36:08.640 --> 00:36:11.260
but you're actually coming under her to lift her up,

597
00:36:11.380 --> 00:36:13.460
to wash her feet and show that, man,

598
00:36:13.640 --> 00:36:16.360
this man knows how to wash my,

599
00:36:16.380 --> 00:36:19.160
if he can wash my feet and humble himself,

600
00:36:19.260 --> 00:36:21.800
how much more would he do for me?

601
00:36:22.520 --> 00:36:23.800
Just talk, gentlemen.

602
00:36:24.260 --> 00:36:25.020
No, that's one of my,

603
00:36:25.200 --> 00:36:27.840
I actually have a pink wash basin with everything.

604
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:32.860
Because you guys, the way to,

605
00:36:35.100 --> 00:36:36.440
you know, like, right.

606
00:36:37.740 --> 00:36:39.540
Sorry, I don't know how to, I'm gonna come with this.

607
00:36:42.100 --> 00:36:43.520
A woman wants to,

608
00:36:45.200 --> 00:36:49.100
the way to be high is to go low, right?

609
00:36:49.100 --> 00:36:52.520
You know, and like, I mean, okay.

610
00:36:52.560 --> 00:36:53.420
Let's look at this.

611
00:36:53.760 --> 00:36:55.680
Okay, I'm gonna bring it this way.

612
00:36:55.680 --> 00:36:59.120
So every dude wants sex, right?

613
00:36:59.260 --> 00:37:02.280
You know, but, and like, and our needs to be met.

614
00:37:02.980 --> 00:37:04.680
But the way to,

615
00:37:06.280 --> 00:37:09.580
the way to get her to do that without taking it from her,

616
00:37:09.580 --> 00:37:12.520
where she wants to actually come together with you

617
00:37:12.520 --> 00:37:15.620
is to serve her and she serves you, right?

618
00:37:15.620 --> 00:37:18.820
And so like, to touch her heart, to be,

619
00:37:19.600 --> 00:37:22.840
you know, they say that, you know, the bed,

620
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.460
for a woman, the bed, you know,

621
00:37:24.460 --> 00:37:26.220
what happens in the bedroom starts in the morning

622
00:37:26.220 --> 00:37:27.080
when you say good morning.

623
00:37:27.260 --> 00:37:29.440
You know, like, you know, it's the whole day thing.

624
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:30.560
It's the all day thing.

625
00:37:31.260 --> 00:37:35.360
And, you know, being a servant and not demanding your way,

626
00:37:35.540 --> 00:37:37.760
not that you don't have needs and, okay.

627
00:37:37.980 --> 00:37:39.940
Don't go the opposite way and go,

628
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:44.200
I'm not, I don't have needs that need to be met, right?

629
00:37:44.200 --> 00:37:46.160
Because you don't want to be codependent

630
00:37:46.380 --> 00:37:49.440
and like submitting in that way, right?

631
00:37:49.460 --> 00:37:52.080
But like, so you need to express that you have,

632
00:37:52.260 --> 00:37:53.360
you know, like you're in a relationship

633
00:37:53.360 --> 00:37:55.780
and there's different dynamics,

634
00:37:56.060 --> 00:37:58.180
but serving her, like washing her feet,

635
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:00.180
lifting her up on the wall,

636
00:38:00.440 --> 00:38:01.580
washing on the water of the word,

637
00:38:02.140 --> 00:38:04.420
leading her emotionally, leading her spiritually,

638
00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:08.000
leading her physically, we're made to do it.

639
00:38:08.040 --> 00:38:10.280
You guys, the thing is, it sounds like a lot.

640
00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:12.800
And I remember like it being laid out,

641
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:15.280
but it's what you're made, it's what God made you for.

642
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:18.620
Like when you do that, when you are the servant,

643
00:38:18.740 --> 00:38:20.560
when you wash the feet, you do all that stuff

644
00:38:20.720 --> 00:38:24.320
is when you become the fullness of you, right?

645
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:28.460
And that is the, that is becoming the best you.

646
00:38:28.520 --> 00:38:31.780
And I'm not doing a Joel Osted thing, you know,

647
00:38:32.060 --> 00:38:34.040
but, and Kenton nailed it.

648
00:38:34.640 --> 00:38:39.900
Yeah, our point is that Jesus wants us to protect

649
00:38:40.820 --> 00:38:44.820
the weaker vessel, to provide for her, to love her.

650
00:38:45.700 --> 00:38:48.500
But when you're dating her, are you protecting her

651
00:38:48.500 --> 00:38:51.300
when you're getting too close to private parts?

652
00:38:51.700 --> 00:38:54.000
Are you protecting her when you're being a gentleman,

653
00:38:54.120 --> 00:38:55.340
when you're opening the doors,

654
00:38:55.860 --> 00:38:58.540
when you're insisting that she walks on the inside

655
00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:01.700
or you get in between strangers with Jim,

656
00:39:01.860 --> 00:39:04.500
when you stand up in the room, are you protecting her?

657
00:39:04.620 --> 00:39:05.920
Are you showing her honor?

658
00:39:06.460 --> 00:39:08.100
If you don't honor her, if you don't,

659
00:39:09.060 --> 00:39:10.600
what do the women want?

660
00:39:10.740 --> 00:39:11.880
They want to know that they,

661
00:39:12.580 --> 00:39:14.420
what's the word I'm looking for?

662
00:39:14.980 --> 00:39:15.460
Trust?

663
00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:16.180
No.

664
00:39:18.200 --> 00:39:18.680
Respect.

665
00:39:19.080 --> 00:39:20.880
They want to see if you can respect them.

666
00:39:21.940 --> 00:39:24.540
If you can't respect a woman by being everything

667
00:39:24.540 --> 00:39:25.940
that God created you as a man,

668
00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:29.800
why would you expect them to respect you in return?

669
00:39:30.600 --> 00:39:33.040
And even if they're in relationship with you,

670
00:39:33.660 --> 00:39:36.820
when they lose respect, it's a rocket, right?

671
00:39:36.820 --> 00:39:42.520
And I guess you guys, I just, I want you guys to win.

672
00:39:42.580 --> 00:39:43.460
I don't want you to be surprised.

673
00:39:43.580 --> 00:39:45.900
A lot of this stuff surprised me, right?

674
00:39:45.900 --> 00:39:47.840
I went into marriage not knowing all this stuff

675
00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:50.320
and wondering why I was hitting my head on everything.

676
00:39:51.140 --> 00:39:51.420
Right?

677
00:39:51.420 --> 00:39:54.000
And so, and you're in Jackie's program,

678
00:39:54.100 --> 00:39:55.060
so you're set up to win.

679
00:39:55.280 --> 00:39:57.880
And like, if you do this, I, you guys,

680
00:39:58.180 --> 00:39:59.880
Simbis is like a non-negotiable thing.

681
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.700
or am I, I mean, or there's so many tools

682
00:40:04.700 --> 00:40:05.920
to help you with your relationship.

683
00:40:07.180 --> 00:40:10.160
It's, it's a tool, it's not, it's not a law.

684
00:40:11.020 --> 00:40:11.140
Right?

685
00:40:11.220 --> 00:40:14.400
It can also be used for when you're dating as well,

686
00:40:14.580 --> 00:40:14.860
too, Jim.

687
00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:17.120
You don't have to be engaged to do that.

688
00:40:17.220 --> 00:40:17.540
Oh, really?

689
00:40:17.600 --> 00:40:18.680
Okay, see, I didn't know that.

690
00:40:18.940 --> 00:40:18.980
See.

691
00:40:19.260 --> 00:40:22.360
And the reason for that is because it will show you

692
00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:23.460
if you're compatible or not.

693
00:40:23.460 --> 00:40:24.660
If you're getting close to the point

694
00:40:24.660 --> 00:40:26.140
where you're really that serious,

695
00:40:26.140 --> 00:40:29.000
why not take it before, see if you're really compatible.

696
00:40:30.580 --> 00:40:32.240
And compatibility isn't the end game,

697
00:40:32.300 --> 00:40:38.800
but it will tell you where your pressure points will be.

698
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:39.360
Right?

699
00:40:39.500 --> 00:40:41.680
You know, and that is really valuable

700
00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:42.920
because if you know where your pressure points,

701
00:40:43.080 --> 00:40:45.360
you can mitigate them or you can work on them.

702
00:40:45.420 --> 00:40:45.620
Right?

703
00:40:47.600 --> 00:40:48.220
All right.

704
00:40:48.860 --> 00:40:48.860


705
00:40:50.060 --> 00:40:52.780
There's really something that is lacking today

706
00:40:52.780 --> 00:40:55.340
is knowing what your love language is, gentlemen.

707
00:40:56.140 --> 00:40:58.220
If you know what your love languages are,

708
00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:01.040
and we're talking about the five love languages

709
00:41:01.260 --> 00:41:02.660
by Gary Chapman.

710
00:41:03.160 --> 00:41:05.700
It's got a free test on his website

711
00:41:05.700 --> 00:41:06.720
for your love language.

712
00:41:06.940 --> 00:41:09.800
It's good to test, good to know what your love language is.

713
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:12.120
If you know what your love language is,

714
00:41:12.700 --> 00:41:14.460
then she will be able to meet.

715
00:41:14.520 --> 00:41:16.620
And that is one of the biggest problems with the marriages.

716
00:41:16.840 --> 00:41:20.840
The partner doesn't know the love language of their partner.

717
00:41:21.080 --> 00:41:23.440
So they're trying to use their love languages

718
00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:25.020
for their partner.

719
00:41:25.020 --> 00:41:27.000
And that's not what their partner needs.

720
00:41:28.020 --> 00:41:30.460
And so if you learn her love languages

721
00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:32.580
and fulfill her love language,

722
00:41:32.620 --> 00:41:34.200
it's like if it's act of service,

723
00:41:34.360 --> 00:41:36.600
she'll be all over you like you wouldn't believe

724
00:41:36.600 --> 00:41:39.520
because here's a man that does something that,

725
00:41:39.560 --> 00:41:42.300
you know, he does dishes, he does, you know,

726
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:44.120
he cooks, he made whatever it might be.

727
00:41:44.280 --> 00:41:46.860
But when you, if it's acts of service,

728
00:41:47.420 --> 00:41:48.740
you're doing things for her,

729
00:41:48.740 --> 00:41:51.060
it's like, she's totally in love with you.

730
00:41:51.320 --> 00:41:52.920
But you got to find out what that is as well.

731
00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:54.140
So I recommend that, gentlemen.

732
00:41:54.140 --> 00:41:55.860
Yeah, that's my number, you guys,

733
00:41:55.960 --> 00:41:57.200
my number one relationship book

734
00:41:57.200 --> 00:41:59.680
is the five love languages by Gary Chapman.

735
00:41:59.780 --> 00:42:02.060
Right, and one of the other reasons

736
00:42:02.060 --> 00:42:04.100
why I didn't know touch was my love language.

737
00:42:05.420 --> 00:42:07.160
Right, and so I got love bombed

738
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:09.200
and that would have been super helpful.

739
00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:11.860
What do you got going, David?

740
00:42:12.780 --> 00:42:13.340
Mr. Wright.

741
00:42:15.420 --> 00:42:18.000
So I recently, so Gary Chapman has a version

742
00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:19.900
of the five love languages for singles.

743
00:42:20.580 --> 00:42:22.520
And it is so good.

744
00:42:22.520 --> 00:42:25.980
It is honestly, so I've read, like most of you,

745
00:42:26.180 --> 00:42:27.760
I've read the five love languages four or five times.

746
00:42:28.200 --> 00:42:31.500
But this spring I read, I went to see Gary Chapman

747
00:42:31.500 --> 00:42:33.640
and I bought the five love languages for singles

748
00:42:33.980 --> 00:42:35.840
and it blew my mind.

749
00:42:35.940 --> 00:42:39.600
And it really helped me understand things differently

750
00:42:40.700 --> 00:42:42.860
because like things about being a single man

751
00:42:42.860 --> 00:42:44.620
and he really breaks down the science of it.

752
00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:47.840
And then also he has another book

753
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:50.020
called the five apology languages,

754
00:42:50.660 --> 00:42:52.800
which is like a companion book to the five love languages.

755
00:42:53.660 --> 00:42:57.000
Talks about like how you apologize of how you love.

756
00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:00.640
And those two books and companion have been really powerful.

757
00:43:02.380 --> 00:43:03.980
That's cool, I haven't heard of that one.

758
00:43:04.020 --> 00:43:04.880
That's super good.

759
00:43:05.580 --> 00:43:08.740
Yeah, these are key things that will set you up to win guys.

760
00:43:09.060 --> 00:43:10.040
I mean, that's okay.

761
00:43:10.060 --> 00:43:11.020
So I don't know about you guys,

762
00:43:11.040 --> 00:43:12.440
but that's why I come here

763
00:43:12.440 --> 00:43:14.280
is because I want everybody to win, right?

764
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:15.540
I don't like sharing all this junk

765
00:43:17.580 --> 00:43:18.920
because I'm not doing it

766
00:43:18.920 --> 00:43:20.400
because I really want to share my junk.

767
00:43:20.520 --> 00:43:23.020
I just sharing like, hey, this is what killed me.

768
00:43:23.040 --> 00:43:27.040
And this was what I don't want to kill you guys, right?

769
00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:29.580
But the five love languages is super important.

770
00:43:30.580 --> 00:43:32.220
And so, you know, like, you know,

771
00:43:32.220 --> 00:43:33.320
Kenton was talking acts of service.

772
00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:35.960
Like you do the dishes and she's like, oh, he loves me.

773
00:43:35.980 --> 00:43:37.980
And then her love tanks gets full.

774
00:43:38.300 --> 00:43:40.000
See, the problem is there's so many marriages

775
00:43:41.420 --> 00:43:43.140
that it's called a great mess

776
00:43:43.640 --> 00:43:46.120
where they're not hitting each other's love languages

777
00:43:46.120 --> 00:43:47.720
and they're trying as hard as they can.

778
00:43:48.480 --> 00:43:49.740
And then they're both exhausted

779
00:43:49.740 --> 00:43:51.080
and their love tanks are empty.

780
00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:53.580
And then what are you doing with two people?

781
00:43:54.100 --> 00:43:56.220
How's it going to go when two people's love tanks are empty?

782
00:43:56.860 --> 00:43:58.020
It's not going to go well.

783
00:43:58.260 --> 00:43:59.200
And that's what-

784
00:43:59.200 --> 00:44:00.840
I've seen marriages healed once they recognize,

785
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:03.880
especially for the males who recognize the woman

786
00:44:03.900 --> 00:44:06.880
that was saying, I don't want his gifts.

787
00:44:06.900 --> 00:44:08.540
I just want his time.

788
00:44:09.380 --> 00:44:11.900
Like I know one guy who would just literally serve,

789
00:44:12.180 --> 00:44:14.300
serve, serve and acts of service

790
00:44:14.300 --> 00:44:15.840
because that was his love language.

791
00:44:16.700 --> 00:44:18.240
But she didn't want that.

792
00:44:18.440 --> 00:44:19.880
She just wanted quality time.

793
00:44:20.120 --> 00:44:21.000
That's all.

794
00:44:21.460 --> 00:44:22.720
And he didn't recognize that.

795
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:23.800
But once he started practicing,

796
00:44:24.660 --> 00:44:26.260
sitting down and listening to her,

797
00:44:26.380 --> 00:44:27.420
it healed the marriage.

798
00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:29.580
She says, now he's paying attention.

799
00:44:29.700 --> 00:44:30.740
He wants to be with me.

800
00:44:30.740 --> 00:44:32.500
Because he thought he was being with her

801
00:44:32.560 --> 00:44:34.640
and loving her through the acts of service.

802
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:37.400
And that's not what her love tank needed for.

803
00:44:37.880 --> 00:44:41.440
And so again, the importance of knowing your love language

804
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:42.520
and knowing hers.

805
00:44:43.300 --> 00:44:44.800
No, a hundred percent.

806
00:44:45.620 --> 00:44:46.520
It's a foundational.

807
00:44:47.220 --> 00:44:49.120
Well, it also gives you a lot of insight about yourself.

808
00:44:50.360 --> 00:44:50.600
You know?

809
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:53.220
One thing that makes me think of is,

810
00:44:54.560 --> 00:44:57.960
I think that Gels' love language is acts of service.

811
00:44:59.080 --> 00:44:59.380
And

812
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.080
What's difficult for me is that I'm a very messy person and she likes it super clean.

813
00:45:06.220 --> 00:45:12.080
So like I really have to learn how to clean like and I don't know it's very difficult

814
00:45:12.080 --> 00:45:16.040
like I don't know if there's any way to get better at that like I mean I'm just really

815
00:45:16.040 --> 00:45:21.920
struggle with with cleaning up I mean well and that's and so you know we were talking

816
00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:26.980
about like when you get in relationship there's decisions you have to make right it's like

817
00:45:26.980 --> 00:45:31.680
you know oh that's like one of them okay well she likes cleanliness well I don't well man

818
00:45:31.680 --> 00:45:34.500
I guess I got some work to do here right you know.

819
00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:38.520
The author said that there's nothing that some women think there's nothing more sexier

820
00:45:38.680 --> 00:45:46.180
than a man the wife to watch the husband house clean yeah I want to make you think oh I want

821
00:45:46.180 --> 00:45:53.500
to do housecleaning because that's gonna look real sexy to work come on guys um David you're

822
00:45:53.600 --> 00:46:04.940
laughing I see that or John yeah well you guys say something Thomas yeah I was just

823
00:46:04.940 --> 00:46:14.440
gonna ask Andy um I think is that something where you feel like it's just going to be

824
00:46:14.440 --> 00:46:21.660
effort or are you going to try to like learn strategies for how to keep things clean or

825
00:46:21.660 --> 00:46:27.940
what's what's your approach going to be to that well I don't know I mean the thing is is that um

826
00:46:27.940 --> 00:46:32.260
right now I don't really have any strategies it's just like my strategy is basically like

827
00:46:33.040 --> 00:46:39.460
I need to have like a four-day weekend where I can clean everything and I don't clean like

828
00:46:39.460 --> 00:46:45.300
through the rest about my life like I need a vacation time off work where I'm just at home

829
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:50.840
and then I can spend like four days just cleaning and then it's nice again but then after that I

830
00:46:50.840 --> 00:46:56.980
don't so it's it's it's hard to get in the habit especially being single like like without a

831
00:46:56.980 --> 00:47:01.100
roommate like I just like had this whole house to myself and I don't have anyone to keep me

832
00:47:01.360 --> 00:47:10.020
accountable and it's it's not easy yeah well and and well it's not easy when you go feast your

833
00:47:10.560 --> 00:47:17.360
family right but like like I think what Thomas is kind of speaking to it is you're hard to hear

834
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:24.280
Mike oh so I think what Thomas is speaking to is so like David you clean up your whole house right

835
00:47:24.380 --> 00:47:30.600
and then you do little things little adjustments in your life so you don't wreck it right so you

836
00:47:30.600 --> 00:47:36.720
need to start you know it's like take little steps to change your life don't you know do one thing

837
00:47:36.720 --> 00:47:42.900
that improves your life and makes it your house cleaner each week as well for you Andrew as well

838
00:47:43.580 --> 00:47:48.000
the best way of after you have cleaned your house up every time you do an activity clean

839
00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:52.600
that portion of that house up immediately like you just used then you then the house will always

840
00:47:52.600 --> 00:47:59.580
be in order okay yeah I know it's just what I'm cooking I actually clean as I as I'm cooking as

841
00:47:59.580 --> 00:48:05.860
you're cooking on them yeah yeah it's it's it's difficult to do that because it's like I'm it's

842
00:48:06.100 --> 00:48:10.180
like I'm eating or I'm doing something and then I'm like too tired at the end of the day I'm like

843
00:48:10.180 --> 00:48:19.300
oh I'll just get that later because I'm just too tired like I mean take a look at um yeah so see

844
00:48:19.300 --> 00:48:25.980
like all this this right here yeah everything yeah it's just like everything is everywhere you know

845
00:48:26.780 --> 00:48:35.320
but like my house it looks more like that you have to put things in the rightful place that's

846
00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:47.540
all that is mm-hmm if they have a place yeah would you I mean how how intense do you want to

847
00:48:47.540 --> 00:48:52.800
get like do you are you thinking like oh I just want time or are you thinking like wow I'd be

848
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:59.040
interested in like a book that talks about like an organizational system I mean a book would be

849
00:48:59.040 --> 00:49:07.280
good it's just it's just you know it's putting it into practice like sometimes I've gotten books

850
00:49:07.280 --> 00:49:14.100
and read them and then went in one ear out the other you know so but but you know now you have

851
00:49:14.180 --> 00:49:22.780
a motivating factor mm-hmm right you know everyone that's super good but here's something you said

852
00:49:22.780 --> 00:49:33.320
something Dave Andrew so one of the things I learned in relationship is I used to come home

853
00:49:33.320 --> 00:49:40.340
I mean I ran a shop you know I'm working 70-hour weeks right and I came home and my ex would get

854
00:49:40.700 --> 00:49:49.420
the dregs right I come home tired and exhausted and and I wouldn't show up for her right and you

855
00:49:49.670 --> 00:49:56.670
and that's something where I had to change there it's like I have to show up for her and if that

856
00:49:56.670 --> 00:49:59.970
means I have to do something differently at work then so be it you know

857
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.400
Like if there's things I need to change in my life because I married this woman and I'm

858
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:09.620
supposed to honor her and then so there is no coming there is no excuse of being exhausted

859
00:50:09.620 --> 00:50:16.460
and not showing up right like because that's pretty much you're always gonna you're always

860
00:50:16.460 --> 00:50:21.620
going to have that you know so you always you don't want to give her the dregs of your

861
00:50:22.620 --> 00:50:28.960
self right she she deserves more than that you know and so it's a hard thing to do trust

862
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:35.500
me and I had to learn learn how to manage my bandwidth a lot better I'm still not great

863
00:50:35.500 --> 00:50:41.460
at it but but I can say and then the kids come in and I had to show up for them right

864
00:50:41.600 --> 00:50:47.640
and so which actually led me to grow and I guess I just encourage you guys like you know

865
00:50:47.640 --> 00:50:55.040
you got to show up even even when you know you're exhausted you know I mean I guess it's

866
00:50:55.040 --> 00:51:00.240
gonna be helpful if I had more than just me to clean the house like that might be helpful

867
00:51:00.960 --> 00:51:07.040
no I mean yeah that's that's that's a valid point right and so but in light of that I

868
00:51:07.040 --> 00:51:13.700
just I just wanted I guess I'm just killing you know or addressing some things that mindsets

869
00:51:13.700 --> 00:51:20.380
like you know you you don't give your bride the dregs every night right you know and so

870
00:51:21.040 --> 00:51:26.060
this is just to put in the back of your head right like you know I'm gonna so when I left

871
00:51:26.320 --> 00:51:32.180
work I as soon as I left the parking lot I'm like okay I started getting myself ready to

872
00:51:32.340 --> 00:51:40.020
to be there and to actually engage with my wife every every day after work even though

873
00:51:40.020 --> 00:51:47.300
it was even if after a 12-hour day now I mean I wasn't super super sparkly but you know

874
00:51:47.300 --> 00:51:53.440
every day I gave her I I gave her what everything I had I don't know does that make sense to you

875
00:51:56.840 --> 00:52:04.820
guys you're stepping up to the plate yeah in other words um you're tired um don't be tired

876
00:52:04.820 --> 00:52:11.740
suck yourself make yourself go more no it's like you're tired but but that's that's but that's

877
00:52:11.740 --> 00:52:21.360
part of it you can still show up tired I I gotta I I see Abram has his hand raised but I'd love to

878
00:52:21.360 --> 00:52:27.360
say something after he does all right Abram what's up sure thanks for letting me know

879
00:52:27.900 --> 00:52:34.580
so like I learned at a very young age because my mom was had a very clean house right and so there

880
00:52:34.580 --> 00:52:38.980
was rules you know like take your shoes off before you get in you know you leave them at the back

881
00:52:38.980 --> 00:52:45.660
and so I learned at a young age it's like okay this lady is cleaning this whole house right

882
00:52:45.660 --> 00:52:51.940
it's clean it's clean you don't mess it up okay you're gonna get everybody in trouble

883
00:52:52.420 --> 00:52:55.860
you're gonna get your dad in trouble you're gonna get your I mean it's gonna be

884
00:52:57.580 --> 00:53:03.780
hell so for you know for Andy it's like okay if this lady gives you a chance and she accepts that

885
00:53:03.780 --> 00:53:09.420
you're a little messy guy okay cool right like that's good on her but like don't mess up her

886
00:53:09.420 --> 00:53:14.100
kitchen you know because she's putting in effort you got to keep it clean you got to learn to keep

887
00:53:14.100 --> 00:53:20.100
it clean even though that's not your nature right so my thing is like you got to respect her you

888
00:53:20.100 --> 00:53:27.700
know like if this lady is putting in effort to clean your house our house man don't mess it up

889
00:53:29.150 --> 00:53:34.410
and you're just stepping all over you know like that's what that'd be horrible so I don't know

890
00:53:34.790 --> 00:53:39.430
100% and that's something like dude throw your you know don't just throw your clothes on the

891
00:53:39.430 --> 00:53:43.430
floor put them in the hamper like I don't know how many women I'm like I can't believe he just

892
00:53:43.470 --> 00:53:48.630
just throws this stuff everywhere right like I don't know how it feels like she it feels to her

893
00:53:48.630 --> 00:53:53.730
like you're throwing the clothes in her face you know it's like dude what bro how many so yeah I

894
00:53:54.350 --> 00:54:01.150
I'm not your I'm not your maid right I'm your wife right and so yeah that's a good point Mike

895
00:54:01.170 --> 00:54:06.670
they are not your maids she's not your mother yeah so in other words I'm going to say this

896
00:54:06.670 --> 00:54:14.850
very strongly Andrew quit being lazy and get it done because if you really love her

897
00:54:14.890 --> 00:54:22.270
then show her you love her yeah okay that's that's a strong point but hey man well and you have a

898
00:54:22.270 --> 00:54:28.290
opportunity now to get a head start on it so it does so it doesn't hit you don't have to do this

899
00:54:28.290 --> 00:54:37.950
all at once right I mean I don't know I mean I've tried the like don't be lazy approach and I feel

900
00:54:37.950 --> 00:54:42.830
like to me that wasn't as helpful as figuring out like what habits can I build in that are going to

901
00:54:42.830 --> 00:54:48.630
make it and I so I feel like Andy it sounds like to me you have a choice you can either live the

902
00:54:48.630 --> 00:54:55.450
that you're like you're living and then like spend lots of time cleaning up or you can maybe

903
00:54:55.450 --> 00:54:59.970
do like what Abram is talking about and kind of like invest little bits of energy along the way

904
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.240
way. And then you don't have to spend as much like go back and

905
00:55:04.480 --> 00:55:07.940
retrospectively spend as much energy, like cleaning up. I'm

906
00:55:07.940 --> 00:55:10.280
not saying either one is like right or wrong. But it sounds

907
00:55:10.280 --> 00:55:13.240
like that maybe is a choice you're going to face.

908
00:55:14.380 --> 00:55:18.240
Well, and you said what you said habits, right? Developing

909
00:55:18.240 --> 00:55:21.640
habits, little things. I mean, if you just develop one habit,

910
00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:25.260
every, every couple weeks, it helps you clean up, right? And

911
00:55:25.260 --> 00:55:29.100
you win. Right? Like, okay, so diet, right? People go on a diet

912
00:55:29.100 --> 00:55:32.360
and they change everything. Right? And like, okay, and then

913
00:55:32.360 --> 00:55:35.480
it doesn't work because they changed everything. Whereas I

914
00:55:35.480 --> 00:55:38.540
just like, okay, I want to what can I do that makes a

915
00:55:39.400 --> 00:55:42.540
difference? Right? And so like, switch, okay, I'll eat more

916
00:55:42.540 --> 00:55:45.600
chicken, right? Or I'll do this little little thing. I'll cut

917
00:55:45.600 --> 00:55:49.780
carbs back and I'll do this. And then it becomes a lifestyle. And

918
00:55:49.780 --> 00:55:53.000
then you don't. And then it's something that you just do. You

919
00:55:53.000 --> 00:55:55.320
don't have to think about it. Right? You know, and I think

920
00:55:55.320 --> 00:55:57.680
that's Thomas is what you're saying is like, hey, make a

921
00:55:57.680 --> 00:56:01.280
little adjustments. And, and look at it is loving yourself

922
00:56:01.280 --> 00:56:04.480
well and loving her well. I mean, when your house is chaos,

923
00:56:04.520 --> 00:56:07.880
how do you feel for me? I dude, I don't have peace.

924
00:56:09.140 --> 00:56:11.860
Right? I actually the maybe part of the problem is that the

925
00:56:11.860 --> 00:56:14.980
messiness actually doesn't bother me. Like if I was if I

926
00:56:14.980 --> 00:56:17.260
was going to be like on my own for the rest of my life, and it

927
00:56:17.260 --> 00:56:21.820
was messy, like I would not care in the slightest. Okay. Yeah,

928
00:56:22.440 --> 00:56:26.060
that's fine. Andrew, you can actually do that. Because it's

929
00:56:26.060 --> 00:56:29.300
how you live. But I wouldn't want to bring anybody home.

930
00:56:30.580 --> 00:56:34.320
That'd be the case. Yeah. Because remember, it's

931
00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:39.540
respecting others more higher than yourself. Yeah. That's and

932
00:56:39.540 --> 00:56:42.740
that's a key element. You're ready to respect them. And they

933
00:56:42.740 --> 00:56:44.800
can respect you if you're going to come over, they're going to

934
00:56:44.800 --> 00:56:51.740
come to your place. No, you're showing who you are that them

935
00:56:51.740 --> 00:56:55.420
and if it's messy, how many people want to come to your

936
00:56:55.420 --> 00:56:57.600
place anymore to avoid you?

937
00:56:58.460 --> 00:57:02.720
Well, and so, you know, these are little things like when

938
00:57:02.720 --> 00:57:05.900
we're alone, it's like, you know, when we're single, you

939
00:57:05.900 --> 00:57:09.320
know, these are things that like marriage changes, right? You

940
00:57:09.320 --> 00:57:12.120
no longer can be a slob, you know, you no longer can leave

941
00:57:12.120 --> 00:57:17.580
the toilet seat. You know, you know, it's, it's, it's little

942
00:57:17.460 --> 00:57:21.020
things, you know, because but you do it because you're

943
00:57:21.020 --> 00:57:25.160
honoring them, right? So I guess, and it's a beautiful

944
00:57:25.160 --> 00:57:28.240
thing, because it actually makes you better. I mean, I'm a better

945
00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:31.840
person. I mean, actually, guys who are married usually make

946
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:35.180
more, because they have better skill sets, and that are more

947
00:57:35.180 --> 00:57:38.320
and they know how to work within teams and stuff. Well, because

948
00:57:38.320 --> 00:57:41.720
they've learned all that. It's if you look it up marriage, you

949
00:57:41.720 --> 00:57:44.340
know, like people who are married make more money, just

950
00:57:44.340 --> 00:57:48.300
because the skills they gained in that. So and is it fun to

951
00:57:48.300 --> 00:57:53.180
know, but, but Andrew, like, if you love this gal, God's given

952
00:57:53.180 --> 00:57:56.920
you an amazing opportunity to make some changes. So it's not a

953
00:57:57.700 --> 00:58:04.440
not as stark a contrast, right? And as much and as much of so

954
00:58:04.440 --> 00:58:07.280
you can like ease into it, or you can hit it like a train

955
00:58:07.280 --> 00:58:11.360
hitting a wall. Right? Like, it's your choice, you know, and

956
00:58:12.200 --> 00:58:17.760
like, it's hard enough to meld two lives together. You know,

957
00:58:17.760 --> 00:58:21.460
but yeah, it's work. Yeah.

958
00:58:22.040 --> 00:58:25.260
Hey, anybody else have anything they want to address or chat

959
00:58:25.260 --> 00:58:26.000
about? Or?

960
00:58:27.220 --> 00:58:29.580
It's a good time, gentlemen, you got some of us older gentlemen

961
00:58:29.580 --> 00:58:33.520
who were married for 36 plus years. And it's not that it

962
00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:35.480
didn't work. We'll tell you what didn't work. We'll tell you what

963
00:58:35.520 --> 00:58:36.400
does work.

964
00:58:36.460 --> 00:58:38.400
Yeah. Well, and try to

965
00:58:38.980 --> 00:58:41.100
Oh, Tim, go for it.

966
00:58:41.100 --> 00:58:45.180
Oh, I was just gonna mention, um, that that I'm, I guess you

967
00:58:45.180 --> 00:58:47.180
know, I don't know the levels. Maybe someone could tell level

968
00:58:47.280 --> 00:58:50.680
123 or whatnot. But I guess I'd say I'm level one, like I'm

969
00:58:50.680 --> 00:58:56.760
talking to a girl who's in the last year single. So that's

970
00:58:56.760 --> 00:58:59.200
good. I just wanted to tell the group just to kind of, you know,

971
00:58:59.240 --> 00:59:04.280
just be open up front and everything. So I'm long

972
00:59:04.280 --> 00:59:07.600
distance. So we haven't actually met yet. So, you know, so it's

973
00:59:07.600 --> 00:59:10.800
definitely very much a level one. Yeah.

974
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:15.720
But dude, grats. Way to go. I mean, yeah. Three if you don't

975
00:59:15.720 --> 00:59:17.640
start a level one. So like, right.

976
00:59:18.160 --> 00:59:21.040
Now what's the level two and three mean again?

977
00:59:22.200 --> 00:59:25.300
Two is where I think you're getting a little more

978
00:59:25.940 --> 00:59:29.280
level level what he's going into level two because level one is

979
00:59:29.280 --> 00:59:31.740
just you meet at church and everybody's seeing each other

980
00:59:31.740 --> 00:59:35.420
and and you just know her from afar. That's level. Oh, okay.

981
00:59:35.600 --> 00:59:37.720
Level two is when you actually made contact with her.

982
00:59:37.880 --> 00:59:41.540
Okay. Okay. And level three is more like, hey, we're

983
00:59:41.540 --> 00:59:43.840
exclusively dating courting.

984
00:59:44.840 --> 00:59:49.460
A is like, we're right before girlfriend, boyfriend, but like

985
00:59:49.460 --> 00:59:53.960
we're spending a lot of time together. Three B is Renee would

986
00:59:53.960 --> 00:59:58.460
say is girl exclusive girlfriend, boyfriend. And like

987
00:59:58.460 --> 00:59:59.700
David just hit three a

988
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.840
You know and and between 3a and 3b, there's not a whole lot of difference. But like, yeah

989
01:00:05.960 --> 01:00:11.540
So cool and may it go to Ollie to you know, is it five is the end, you know?

990
01:00:12.740 --> 01:00:16.760
I'm gonna jump out of here guys, cuz I'm meeting the young lady from

991
01:00:17.540 --> 01:00:23.180
Lys and I'm meeting her right now. So all right. Cool. Hey, bless you. All right

992
01:00:23.180 --> 01:00:24.780
All right, let's talk soon

993
01:00:25.780 --> 01:00:32.180
All right, you guys it's 605 any any anything else before we balance or?

994
01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:39.220
Did this guy's is this helpful for you guys I mean, I I

995
01:00:41.400 --> 01:00:43.620
Don't want to I want to paint a real picture

996
01:00:44.340 --> 01:00:45.760
So you like know?

997
01:00:46.700 --> 01:00:48.620
If you know what to attack you can crush it

998
01:00:49.460 --> 01:00:52.340
Right, you know like but if you don't know what to expect

999
01:00:53.180 --> 01:00:54.880
Then you're gonna be like

1000
01:00:55.760 --> 01:00:58.100
Caught flat-footed and I don't want you guys to be caught flat-footed

1001
01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:05.240
So if you don't know your love language five love languages, it's actually a super it's a super short book

1002
01:01:05.420 --> 01:01:10.660
It's a super easy thing to do and it's mission critical and in all your relationships really

1003
01:01:14.120 --> 01:01:14.520
So

1004
01:01:16.200 --> 01:01:19.340
So, okay, well, I guess if there's nothing else I appreciate you guys all showing up

1005
01:01:19.420 --> 01:01:24.200
Can we hear the answer to David's question to Tim

1006
01:01:25.440 --> 01:01:33.500
What was it? Well, what was the question? What is there anything you do to keep your house clean? Oh

1007
01:01:33.640 --> 01:01:35.960
Me uh-huh. Oh

1008
01:01:35.960 --> 01:01:41.060
Keep my house clean. Uh, I guess I've always been kind of a tidy person. So I just oh, okay

1009
01:01:42.300 --> 01:01:48.160
Like how do you be? How do you be a tidy person for people who aren't tidy people? Oh

1010
01:01:48.160 --> 01:01:52.940
I know that's a good question. If it's not in the DNA

1011
01:01:53.960 --> 01:01:57.240
ADHD and it's like the worst thing for being clean

1012
01:01:58.980 --> 01:02:01.840
That takes an extra adderall and then go clean up I

1013
01:02:03.800 --> 01:02:05.540
Know I know that's good question. I know

1014
01:02:08.820 --> 01:02:11.420
In it maybe just I did like the advice

1015
01:02:11.420 --> 01:02:16.700
I don't know who mentioned it, but I think Mike did about like a small things like just okay. I'm just gonna

1016
01:02:18.200 --> 01:02:23.580
Try to keep one room clean like like the kitchen or something, you know

1017
01:02:25.160 --> 01:02:29.440
Well, and for me I have to look at is loving myself well, I

1018
01:02:29.440 --> 01:02:34.340
Hate doing dishes, right, but I'm but I want to love myself. Well, and you know

1019
01:02:35.480 --> 01:02:38.200
Women one of the things that women look for is tidiness

1020
01:02:39.600 --> 01:02:46.380
Right, like, you know, and so when my room isn't clean and my life feels chaotic. I mean, I

1021
01:02:46.380 --> 01:02:50.580
You know, I mean I prefer I don't need it to be like

1022
01:02:52.760 --> 01:02:58.900
Surgically clean right and I can deal with a lot of chaos, but I realized my piece suffers

1023
01:02:59.820 --> 01:03:03.840
and I think it's I

1024
01:03:03.840 --> 01:03:11.040
Forget his name, but he's a he's a well-known counselor. He's like your room is indicate indicative of your your life

1025
01:03:11.040 --> 01:03:13.400
Oh Jordan Pearson. Thank you

1026
01:03:13.660 --> 01:03:15.280
Yeah, and I thought

1027
01:03:15.280 --> 01:03:17.720
Tell me about your room and I'm like

1028
01:03:18.440 --> 01:03:22.460
Yeah, it's like, you know, my life's a little chaotic right now, you know

1029
01:03:22.460 --> 01:03:26.220
And I do a ton of ministry and I don't have a lot of time home

1030
01:03:26.480 --> 01:03:31.420
And so part of that but that's also me managing things. Well

1031
01:03:32.400 --> 01:03:32.960
So

1032
01:03:34.060 --> 01:03:40.840
Which is an excuse, right? I I need to prioritize keeping my sanity as well

1033
01:03:41.840 --> 01:03:43.840
So, well, I thank you guys

1034
01:03:44.540 --> 01:03:49.260
I hope you guys learned something and I hope you feel encouraged, you know

1035
01:03:50.840 --> 01:03:56.340
We're meant to do hard things you guys realize that right? We're meant to kill things and let you know, and even let things

1036
01:03:56.840 --> 01:04:02.780
You know and die in ourselves so that we become better, right? There's a lot of things that we oh, sorry

1037
01:04:02.780 --> 01:04:07.680
I always put my hand over my stinking mic like, you know, we're meant to do hard things and

1038
01:04:08.520 --> 01:04:12.660
And sometimes the things that need to die in us or wait that are holding us back

1039
01:04:13.240 --> 01:04:16.820
Right and that's there's a stripping but it also leads to freedom

1040
01:04:16.820 --> 01:04:18.860
I mean a lot of the things in my life that I've

1041
01:04:19.700 --> 01:04:24.660
Learned have led me to freedom right to taught me how to honor how to love well

1042
01:04:24.860 --> 01:04:31.060
And I really appreciate all that, you know, was it a fun process? Not necessarily, you know

1043
01:04:31.100 --> 01:04:34.820
I'm like, is there any other thing else I could die to don't ask that question, by the way

1044
01:04:36.160 --> 01:04:36.980
I just

1045
01:04:38.520 --> 01:04:42.400
But but you guys are doing amazing and I'm excited for you

1046
01:04:43.340 --> 01:04:46.460
Andrew and David and I'm Tim and

1047
01:04:46.460 --> 01:04:48.400
Lord, may the rest of y'all

1048
01:04:49.460 --> 01:04:54.540
Get it have a number one and two and and start that process, too

1049
01:04:54.540 --> 01:04:59.980
I'm praying for that for me. So Lord Jesus. I just thank you for all the men on this call. Well what I

1050
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.840
Just pray that you help us to be mighty men of honor

1051
01:05:02.840 --> 01:05:05.840
and valor and love, and that we would love people,

1052
01:05:06.220 --> 01:05:07.920
love our future spouses like you.

1053
01:05:08.460 --> 01:05:10.480
Lord, I ask that we build a life

1054
01:05:10.480 --> 01:05:11.620
that they'd want to come alongside.

1055
01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:12.720
Help us to do that.

1056
01:05:13.340 --> 01:05:15.000
Help us to fix the habits and stuff

1057
01:05:15.440 --> 01:05:17.940
that wouldn't be conducive to a marriage,

1058
01:05:18.740 --> 01:05:22.020
and to do it before so we can actually start

1059
01:05:22.480 --> 01:05:23.600
our marriages flourishing.

1060
01:05:24.260 --> 01:05:25.640
Lord, I pray for our future spouses

1061
01:05:26.500 --> 01:05:29.840
and our spirit mates that you'd be working

1062
01:05:29.840 --> 01:05:31.460
on us doing the same thing in them,

1063
01:05:31.680 --> 01:05:34.120
teaching them how to love us well and preparing them.

1064
01:05:34.740 --> 01:05:36.720
So Lord, I just pray that you would bring,

1065
01:05:37.940 --> 01:05:41.240
yeah, just intertwine, intersect all the people

1066
01:05:41.240 --> 01:05:44.200
that you have for our king of spouses for every man here.

1067
01:05:44.560 --> 01:05:46.360
But most of all, Lord, that every one of them

1068
01:05:46.360 --> 01:05:49.540
would feel your love and your presence,

1069
01:05:49.800 --> 01:05:51.220
and know that you're proud of them

1070
01:05:51.220 --> 01:05:52.240
and that you're rooting for them

1071
01:05:52.240 --> 01:05:53.680
and that you're not against them.

1072
01:05:54.120 --> 01:05:56.080
And that you got their best in mind,

1073
01:05:56.080 --> 01:05:58.960
and you can't wait to introduce them to their spouse.

1074
01:05:58.960 --> 01:06:01.260
But also you can't wait for them to become

1075
01:06:01.260 --> 01:06:02.640
all that you've made them to be.

1076
01:06:03.040 --> 01:06:05.760
And Lord, may we all become the men you've made us to be.

1077
01:06:06.120 --> 01:06:07.440
And Lord, if there's any hopelessness,

1078
01:06:07.480 --> 01:06:09.140
we just break it off in Jesus' name.

1079
01:06:09.280 --> 01:06:11.360
We just plead the blood of Jesus over everybody

1080
01:06:11.360 --> 01:06:13.020
on this call and say, hopelessness be gone.

1081
01:06:13.940 --> 01:06:15.640
Because God, you're good.

1082
01:06:16.100 --> 01:06:18.220
You're a warder of those who diligently seek him.

1083
01:06:18.760 --> 01:06:21.900
And Lord, we're diligently seeking you.

1084
01:06:22.120 --> 01:06:24.160
And we just come against the lies of the enemy

1085
01:06:24.160 --> 01:06:28.720
that say anything contrary to who you are.

1086
01:06:29.160 --> 01:06:32.000
Because you're good, and you can't wait for us

1087
01:06:32.100 --> 01:06:34.180
to experience all the goodness that you have planned for us.

1088
01:06:34.640 --> 01:06:36.420
And so I pray as you watch over,

1089
01:06:37.060 --> 01:06:38.120
bless the man with favor,

1090
01:06:38.700 --> 01:06:41.440
and that everybody would have breakthroughs

1091
01:06:41.440 --> 01:06:43.960
and things to share, testimonies to share next week.

1092
01:06:44.040 --> 01:06:44.940
So we thank you, Jesus.

1093
01:06:45.220 --> 01:06:45.540
Amen.

1094
01:06:46.280 --> 01:06:47.420
Hey, love you all, guys.

1095
01:06:47.460 --> 01:06:48.280
Dude, you're killing it.

1096
01:06:48.760 --> 01:06:51.280
Thanks for sharing and showing up.

1097
01:06:52.040 --> 01:06:52.500
I'm proud of you.

1098
01:06:52.500 --> 01:06:53.200
Thank you, Mike.

1099
01:06:53.460 --> 01:06:54.780
Thanks for leading us today, Mike.

1100
01:06:55.340 --> 01:06:56.560
Have a blessed week.

1101
01:06:56.880 --> 01:06:57.100
Thanks, Mike.

1102
01:06:57.240 --> 01:06:57.780
You too.

1103
01:06:57.780 --> 01:06:58.840
Awesome, bye-bye.

1104
01:06:59.960 --> 01:07:00.440
Bye.

1105
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:00.700
Bye.