Okay. Welcome, ladies. This is your Phase 2 Love Story Accelerator live check-in. It's
1 o'clock Eastern. Remember, we have that 8 o'clock call as well, the Ebony Heads Up,
because I'm usually busy with my kids, doing all the things, all the practices, all the
studying, all that good stuff, running around like a crazy mama, which I know many of you
can relate to. I do try to hop on there every now and then. So if you are able to jump on
both, definitely check that out. We do record both sessions. We put those both in replays.
So if you can only make one, definitely watch the other in replay. If you cannot make it
to either live, definitely try to watch both replays. If you can make both to live, that's
even better, because everyone gets an opportunity to ask questions, and so you never know what
questions you're going to hear, which ones are going to allow you to hear some breakthrough.
That is the best way to, honestly, that really does, believe it or not, get so much breakthrough.
So for those of you that don't know me, that might be catching this in replay, I'm Carla
Johnson. I'm one of your last year single dating coaches here. I was a success story
myself. I joined Jackie in 2020 in September, joined officially in October, which is we
are having our five-year anniversary coming up, which there are still tickets to come
to the anniversary party. If you can make it in Austin, I will be there. Several of
us are going to be there as well. So we'd love to see you there. But yes, I am a success
story. And so I have worked through this community and worked through this program.
And so this community was definitely something that I worked through, have been part of,
have come to these lives, have shared my story, have asked my questions, have walked through
the process, have vented my dating escapades, if you will, the good, the bad, the ugly,
all the ups and downs, everything in the middle. I've shared the tears, the laughs, the cries,
everything. So just know when you come here and you share, you'll get breakthrough, your
sisters will get breakthrough. We are all here to lean into each other. Holy Spirit
really does show up. It's really, really awesome to watch the process, to share it
with your sisters. So I strongly encourage those of you that are watching and replay
to come to as many live sessions as you possibly can. It is always usually a good time. We
try to make it a good time. So it's definitely good to be here with you all. So yeah, keep
in mind, 8 o'clock, 1 o'clock Eastern, Tuesdays, definitely come, come, come. Do I have anybody
new with me today? Anybody? I think I recognize most people. Carmen, I don't know. Hi, good
to see you. I love that you're on live. Camera, good to see you. I see a Laura, Mackenzie.
I've seen your names in the app. I don't recall seeing you live before. If you've been here
live, I apologize. I see a lot of names. A lot of you ladies have similar names. So it
gets very, very hard to keep track of. I've been doing this now for almost two years coaching.
So it gets all jumbled together with time. But the more y'all show up, the more I recognize
y'all. So show up as frequently as you can, post in the app. We'd love, love, love, love
to see your faces and see what's going on in your life. So good news. Supernatural Saturday
is back to being recorded. All right. I have yet to see this last Supernatural Saturday,
but I heard it was a good one. I heard Bethany was on. So that is on my agenda to watch.
I think I'm going to play it on my way to pick up my kids today. That's always a good
way to listen to replays. I don't know where y'all live. I live in the DFW area where there's
always traffic. Sam knows what I'm talking about. She lives in the DFW area.
So she gets it, there's just always traffic in this area.
So that's where I always try to listen to replays because I just, honestly, that's oftentimes
where I have my Jesus moments, is in the car, especially when my kids are not in the car
with me, is when I can have my prayer time.
It's the car and it's the shower, because that's where I get my peace and quiet.
So if you can listen to replays, if you can get some peace and quiet in the car or in
your prayer closet, maybe before you get out of bed in the morning or before you go to
bed, if you can just turn it on and just have a moment.
That's what works for me, figure out what works for you, totally fine, okay?
Definitely listen to those replays.
So those Supernatural Saturdays are back to being recorded and in replays, definitely
check those out.
Again, I think I already shared about the anniversary party coming up October 26 in
Austin.
Do I have anybody coming?
Anybody in here now coming?
Put your avatar hand up or share in the chat.
Laura's going to be at the retreat, so I'm going to see her at the party.
I'm excited to meet you, Laura, very, very thrilled.
I won't be at the retreat, but I will be at the anniversary party for sure.
I'm trying to figure out if I can get down there on Saturday.
I don't know what time, I'm not sure what's going to be happening Saturday on the retreat,
but if I can crash some of Saturday, I might.
My husband has his busy work season, so I had to pull some eyelash batting to him and
be like, look, this is super important.
You have to be there.
This is the five-year anniversary party.
I wouldn't have met you if it wasn't for this community, so you have to be there.
We have to go down to Austin.
Luckily, he's got family that lives in the Austin area, so it was a good excuse.
I'm like, you can take one Saturday off your busy season and come down and celebrate with
our community.
Jackie actually even married my husband and I.
She officiated our wedding, so I was like, look, dude, we got to go visit.
He is definitely going to be there too.
Yes, Laura, it's going to be her birthday on the 26th, so we definitely want to celebrate
her.
There are still tickets, so if you can make it, road trip it.
Maybe there's a cheap flight, definitely come check it out.
I know that there are some people, I know I've seen it in the phase three, I know some
ladies are trying to find roommates for hotels.
If you are interested and just don't have maybe a partner, like a friend, and you would
just like to have somebody to room with, throw it up in our app because if we can, we could
probably try to find someone for you to room with if that's a possibility.
If you need, and who knows, maybe someone in our phase two is looking for someone as
well.
I've met a lot of really amazing women when I was in this community.
Some of my closest friends are actually from this community.
I have story upon stories of just when I joined this community of just all the women that
I've met.
We had probably the first year, we actually planned a trip at the time I was living in
Sarasota and we planned a trip where myself and three other girls had a little vacay in
Tampa, Florida.
One drove down from Georgia, two flew in, one girl flew in from Missouri, she flew into
the Sarasota airport.
We never met in person.
I picked her up, her flight got in at midnight.
I picked her up from the Sarasota airport.
She stayed at my house with me and my youngest son.
She's such a blast.
We still stay connected this day.
Just such a good friend of mine.
We ended up getting an Airbnb in Tampa.
I had such a great weekend.
It was actually the weekend of my birthday.
They celebrated with me.
Jackie and David ended up flying into Clearwater.
We did this impromptu meetup and just had such a fun weekend.
so met some just really great great women great people in this community so
you just never know who you're gonna contact like who you're gonna meet kind
of how I even got connected with my husband one of the ladies that I met on
a retreat she was from Atlanta she moved all over she was a travel nurse she was
in a Facebook singles Christian community and she happened to see my
husband's profile she was dating a guy I can't remember how she met her now
husband but she was dating the guy that she's married to but she saw my
husband's profile in this like group and she screenshot all of his like stuff and
was like hey what do you think about this guy I was like yeah yeah he looks
alright whatever and she posted on his profile post and was like hey you need
to meet my friend Carla and he's like well this is weird like some girls
reaching out to me about her friend and then there were other women from our
like last year single community that chimed in on his post like oh yeah
Carla's great y'all I wasn't even in that Facebook community and like my
girls were like yeah Carla's amazing y'all we thought he lived in Florida
because he mentioned how he worked in Florida and that he traveled like ten
percent of the year no y'all he lived in Texas but he worked for a company that
was in Florida and would travel to Florida 10% of the year so I'm like okay
like sure he lives like an hour away from me no he doesn't he lives in Texas
y'all I was not about to move so she reached out to him and he was like and
then she goes to them but she was the travel nurse and she was moving and so
he was luckily bold enough was like okay well I guess I'm gonna message this girl
Carla who I have no idea who she is and the rest is history now I'm married to
the man and I live in Texas which I said I was never gonna do I was never gonna
move so I actually like the girl that connected me to him I met her through
this community and we actually met on a retreat to Austin in May of 2021 so you
just never know who you're gonna meet in this community so embrace those
opportunities check out the resource page in our app because we have so many
travel opportunities there's the last trip singles we have we just recently
had the Disney trip that I know several women went on I know one lady a couple
weeks ago a couple weeks ago was it last week she came in she's now in phase 3
she was on that trip we have the last cruise single coming up in January I
think there might still be spots left for that so just if you can make it go
to those things embrace those opportunities it's always a lot of fun
y'all if you ever met Jackie in person she is a good time she is like she's a
live and in person she is always a blast to spend time with so definitely check
the resource tab in our app for any of those opportunities so many great things
in that tab also don't forget that yes yes Sam we are definitely gonna hang out
soon you're in that Dallas single city I do try I try to get to as many of
those events as well single cities ladies that is also in the resource tab
so if there is a single sitting nearby you definitely join that more information
is in that resource tab we are always trying to put on events in single cities
some are bigger than others but the more we have joining and that you're bringing
more people into our community the bigger those can grow unfortunately I
have a child that is in travel baseball so oftentimes when their weekends I'm
usually at baseball fields all around Dallas so sometimes I can't make it to
those but in the off seasons I do try to get to those so if you're in the Dallas
area or even Austin because we do have sometimes we'll try to meet up with
Austin and Dallas we'll try
emerge. And I know that there was a recent one, we did a Magnolia Market in Waco. And that one I
really wanted to go to, but I had like a family reunion that I ended up having to go to. But
Magnolia Market is like one of my favorite places. On an Austin retreat in 2021, we went there.
Super fun time. So again, single cities, join them for sure. Good, good time.
So yes, do that. Also, resource tab, just keep in mind, we do offer one-on-one coaching.
If you are open to that, it is not included in your membership, but it is an additional fee.
So if that is something that you are interested in, it is a 50-minute session. So if you feel
you just want more one-on-one time with a coach, those sessions are available if you choose to do
that. So that information is in the resource tab and is available. Now, obviously, we have these
Tuesday calls where we open the floor up for your questions. So you can get some
feedback from myself or Ebony. So we'll definitely take that. But like I said,
sometimes ladies just want a little more personal, not in a group setting,
more time to be able to unpack deeper things. We do things, heartwork, dating situations, whatever.
Also, I want to remind you ladies that if you're in this phase, it doesn't just have to be dating
situations that you're going through. We can most certainly always unpack heartwork stuff with you
as well. Heartwork never is finished. You never really graduate heartwork. You just get deeper
layers of healing. And oftentimes when we have dating questions, we typically will uncover
more heartwork things that kind of surface through dating. So just know, don't feel like
just because you're now out of phase one and out of the heartwork phase and the end of the dating
phase that we ever really leave heartwork, we can still always bring heartwork back.
And don't feel like just because you're in this dating phase that it's a mandatory requirement
that you're dating or a mandatory requirement to ask a question if you're not dating. You most
certainly are open to ask a question if it's heartwork related and you're not dating. Y'all,
I was in this community for over a year and wasn't dating. And I'm a talker, y'all. I was always
asking Jackie and the team questions and I wasn't dating because it took me a lot of heartwork to
get my toe in the water. I had to unpack a lot of heartwork stuff to get comfortable with the
process. I had a lot of dating questions that was like around heartwork and that was okay.
So when you hear dating experiences from your sisters here, it may surface heartwork stuff and
you most certainly can bring that here in this phase. So I don't ever want any of you to feel
you can't share what's on your heart or what is vulnerable, what is holding you back.
We're here to help you through this process. And truth be told, there's probably several women
on this call or listening in a replay that has the same question or feeling or insecurity or
vulnerability or whatever it is that you're feeling. They'd probably share that with you.
And I speak it from experience because like I said, y'all, it took me a year. Like Jackie had
to kick me out of the nest to date because I was so afraid. I had been so badly wounded
from past relationships that I was just so closed off and so afraid of being hurt
and wounded again. I was a single mom. I was terrified. I had a little boy and I just,
I couldn't imagine him being hurt in the process. I felt like I did it all wrong.
You know, I was a mom, had never been married. I felt like I was tainted. I felt like,
you know, I wasn't a godly woman because I had a child out of wedlock. You know,
How could I even show up as a Christian woman?
How could any godly man want to marry me?
Let me tell you, I had a lot of shame and guilt and all of that,
thinking that I was not worthy.
That's just one piece of it.
So I'm sure many of you ladies can relate to that.
Maybe you don't.
Maybe your story is slightly different.
But I'm sure if I can't relate to you,
there's someone on this call or in this community that can.
So I hope that speaks to you.
So let's go ahead and pray.
And then I want to open up for questions.
I know Kathleen's got a question.
I think Kim had her hand raised as well.
So I want to take her question.
And then we will get started.
All right, so something weird just happened with my screen.
It always happens.
Am I frozen for anybody right now?
Everybody see me?
You were for just a second, but you're good now.
OK, does that happen every week?
So weird.
OK, let me take a drink of water.
I can just tell my mouth is getting dry.
OK, awesome.
All right, Heavenly Father, thank you.
Thank you for this moment.
Lord, I just ask us just to sit in your presence.
Sit in just your peace right now, Lord.
Just thank you for this moment right here.
Lord, I ask that every woman on this call
and listening in replay, just breathe in and just
feel your peace and your joy and your love and your presence.
That every woman feel you surrounding them,
that you're with us.
We invite you into this space with us, Lord.
Lord, I just ask that you minister to our hearts, Lord.
That for anybody that's on this call
or listening to replay, that any area of discouragement, Lord,
that I just ask that you breathe hope and encouragement
into those areas.
Break through in those areas of discouragement, Lord.
Lord, I ask that you just speak to those places in our hearts
where the enemy has lied and deceived us,
that the enemy is disguised and made
us believe that his lies are actually your truth,
when in fact it's not.
Lord, help us to hear your truth clear, loud and clear,
crystal clear, Lord.
Help us to filter out what your word says,
so we can hear your truth, feel your love,
trust your love story that you've written for us.
Block out any weapon that the enemy wants to form against us
because your word says that it won't prosper.
We break off any of those weapons
that they won't prosper.
We come into agreement.
That you love us, you're for us, nothing shall be against us.
Allow us to partner with your truth and your word,
that we trust every step that you take us through,
even in those moments where it may feel hard,
but Lord, it doesn't have to be easy
because we know that it's worth it,
that even in those painful moments,
that's part of the healing process,
that those promises that you give us come with the process,
but that it's not for our destruction, Lord,
but that it's for our good.
healing for us and that through that healing brings great testimony
and glory for your kingdom, Lord. It brings honor
and that it will release so much for for others and bring people closer to
you, Lord. Lord, I just thank you for this time
together and speak to our hearts, Lord.
We ask this in Jesus name, amen.
All right, ladies. Okay, I got two hands up
and I know there's probably more, so I definitely want you ladies, if you
have questions, put your hands up. I got HK. HK, I know you had your hand
up last week and I can't remember if we got to you,
so if you can and you remember what you were going to share last week or if you
didn't get to and you remember, I definitely want to get to you this
week, but don't let me forget you, okay? Don't let me leave you out,
okay? All right, Kathleen, I'm gonna let you go and then Kim
and then I see some people in the chat had some stuff, so I'm gonna read that as
well. All right, Kathleen, how are you?
Kathleen with the beautiful hair. I love her hair.
Gorgeous. Hi, I just wanted to share,
I had a like an epiphany over the weekend
and because this whole online situation,
I know that the other coach, Ebony, she doesn't like,
like she, I think she corrected me when I used a certain word,
but it's really true, like it's gross. It's just,
the men are just, like it, you know,
anyway, but I'm going through the process, you know,
trying to maintain it's a yes until it's a no
and okay, I'm using this as a, as just an exercise. It's just a social
experiment, right? I'm just, you know, going through the
process, but what I realized in when I would have
been chatting with these men and having a few phone
conversations that the pleaser in me comes out.
Okay. And I, you know, because I was in a
abusive marriage, you know, so that pleaser,
so that's really easy for me to like default.
Yeah. And so. I can relate to that. That was interesting. I'm like, oh, this is
what we're doing. We're getting, we're dealing with this. We're,
we're getting this out of our system so that when we meet
the, the right person, whether it be on the platforms or
in the wild, I won't be in a, in a posture of
pleasing, that I won't forget who I am. So that was my, so I,
I guess just as an encouragement, it, it does work like because that stuff
starts, like you said, in your opening, like
it just starts creeping up and you're going,
what was that? And okay, let's tuck that in and deal with it.
So, so thank you for that. Good. Yeah. I,
I do have a, an in-person date
on Thursday lunch.
What's interesting is that my, just another interesting,
anyway, so my divorce was final five years ago
and it was stamped by the court on 9-10, September 10th.
Okay. And then, so what's interesting is that I feel like the Lord told me,
okay, five years, Kathleen, just five years and then,
you know, heal, do your thing and then I'll,
that's what I feel like I heard. So the day that I'm meeting this man, I'm not
he's the guy, but I'm, but I feel like maybe it's a season of me not
being hidden anymore, but the date is 10-9.
So I, I don't know. It's just, it's just interesting.
It's, I love that. Okay. Yeah. Well, and when you,
like the number five for me and like my understanding of it, it means
something if that like, and I love how you said that, just
you're not being hidden anymore. Like, that's good. Like, I just
love those things that you're sharing. And I feel Holy Spirit
on a lot of that. And I love how you're sharing this process with
us and that you're learning that yes, that you're trusting the
process and that you're being real and coming to us with that
like I love how you're being vulnerable with it. You're
honest, you're being raw and real with us. You're sharing
exactly what's what you're experiencing. Okay, because I
relate to it so much. Like, girl, I get it. The online
stuff. I think a lot of us women that are here on this call right
now and we'll be watching and replay. We get it. I think a lot
of I mean, I see a lot of hot heads nodding. The online
dating is not the most ideal thing that we all just love to
do. Right? We just don't. Okay. But unfortunately, that's kind
of the the time and the season and the reality that we're all
in. And so we're just having to kind of take it for what it is.
And just allow God to just be like, okay, God, if you want me
to do this, I'm going to roll with it. And I'm going to glean
from it, whatever I can and trust that you're just going to
make the best out of this whole situation. And yes, some of
these guys can be gross. They can be gross, not online, even
believe it or not, you're going to come in contact with men that
you don't meet online that are gross. Like, it's, it's not just
men that you meet online, ladies, it's just the society
that we live in. Like, I hate to, I hate to say it. It's just,
we live in a cursed world. Like, it is right. We live in a broken
world. Okay. And believe it or not, there are good men out
there, whether we meet them in real life in the wild, or we
meet them online. I was one of those people, I did not want to
do the whole online dating thing. But I was like, you know
what, I just need to get out and meet people. I just need to
allow God to prepare my heart. And if that meant I had to get
online, just to start putting in practice of God could start
revealing areas of my heart that needed to be healed. Then that
was what he was going to do. I had to trust it. And that's what
Kathleen is sharing, y'all. She doesn't want to do it. But she's
trusting the process. And I get it. I totally get it. And look,
she's like, she's, she's learning something. She's like,
wow. You know, I'm seeing how I'm a people pleaser. God's
using this circumstance of, you know, something that she might
not want to do. But she's trusting the process. And God's
grow and heal. So she can step out of these people pleasing
tendencies, and become more of her authentic self. And believe
it or not, Kathleen, what you're going to start seeing is
eventually because this is what happened to me. And it happens
so to so many women in this community. I've seen it when I
was in the program. And I've seen it as a coach and the women
that I've coached, you're going to get to a point where those
gross men are no longer going to offend you. And you're going
to just literally be able to move along. It's such a cool
thing, because you're just be like, okay, move along, lesson
block. Like, you're just going to recognize like, I don't even
need to pick that up. I don't even need to please that I can
put up a boundary and it's done. And it will it will feel
so like, the freedom in that is so amazing. Like when I started
recognizing when I was connecting with these men
online, that were just not healthy, instead of me being
disgusting, like disgusted by them and judgmental and like,
trust me, there would be times I'd be like, what is it there
and like critique them? Because we do. All right, we do. I just
learned to just honestly, just hold some compassion for them
and just bless them and be on their way. My heart shifted for
them and I just didn't have to pick it up anymore. And let me
tell you how free that felt.
Like my heart posture shifted
and that showed me how healed I became.
That I truly had a different heart posture,
one that was more Christ-like.
And again, I'm not saying that, you know,
I'm any better or worse than they are,
you know, any of that or, you know,
that I don't have moments of weaknesses
where I still can pass judgment on people.
I still have areas that I can work on.
But I would recognize like, wow,
I had certain ties to that.
Does that make sense?
Like, you'll start seeing like,
oh, wow, I was carrying certain things.
Because oftentimes when things upset us or disgust us,
it's typically coming from a deep rooted area.
Like I still had wounds from how I was treated
in past relationships
because I was carrying how men had treated me in the past.
So when it was modeled in other men,
I was still so offended because I was carrying,
like I was carrying that it felt like
it was a weight from me.
Does that make sense?
Like how they treated me, like I was an object.
I was believing that I was an object still
and it would make me so mad.
And then I would just be so critical of them.
But it wasn't really about that.
It was because I felt like I was still living
as though I was an object
and not living in my true authentic self
and not believing that I really was never an object
because I wasn't seeing myself through God's eyes.
I was still carrying and holding the offense
of what someone else did to me
and not releasing that person of that person in the past.
And I was carrying it.
And so as you work through this process,
and I can't sit here and say that that doesn't still happen.
Y'all I'm in, I'm married now for over two,
like it's been a little over two years
and I still sometimes find myself
responding in some triggers.
Like I just recognized recently
when my kids don't always listen to me,
I get triggered because of past relationships I've been in
where I wasn't being listened to
and I wasn't being heard
where I didn't feel like I was worth anything.
And I'm like, oh my goodness, I still have hard work to do.
Y'all I'm married, I have kids and I still have hard work.
So I love Kathleen that you are embracing this program
that you're learning, you're trusting the process
and that you're just, you're working it
and you're learning like,
hey, I've got some people pleasing things
that I'm gonna start getting rid of.
And when my husband comes,
this isn't gonna be something
that I'm gonna have to worry about anymore
because I'm releasing it and I'm recognizing it
so that I'm not gonna be a people pleaser
and I'm not gonna be attracted to
or I'm not gonna attract the same type of person.
And that in itself is such growth.
So I'm celebrating that with you and I'm excited for you
and I'm excited to hear about your in-person date.
So keep us posted and just continue to just trust
that God's got you on this journey to grow and heal.
And again, things are gonna surface
in this whole season of dating.
I can't wait.
Just keep showing up.
All right, thank you so much.
All right, Kim, what's your update?
What you got for us?
Well, I definitely relate to Kathleen
in the online dating experience.
And I was just telling a friend in frustration
the other day, it's like,
I just feel like I'm throwing pearls before swine.
You know, it's like I'm putting God,
it's like God has kept me for 26 years without dating
because he told me it was gonna be a long wait.
And he asked me to go on a date with him and I was like,
me if I was willing to wait. And I said, yes. And I feel like
now that, you know, that that treasure is just being thrown
out there for, for people to, for anyone to respond to, but I
feel like, you know, God has that one person for me. And I
know that there's people that don't agree with that. But I
have, I just really feel in my heart that God has confirmed
that he will bring the right person to me. And I will, I
will know without a doubt and that I won't. I mean, I would
like to say I don't have to do all the hard, hard work, but
I'm, I'm willing to do that. But I honestly don't believe it's
going to be extremely hard for me. The hard part has been
waiting 26 years. And, and I, and I just and I know it's
coming, but I'm, so my, my real question really had to do with
the, on the resources page that it has, it mentions the, the
ARC dating app. And it mentions that there is a special
opportunity for people in the LYS group to take part in the
ARC. And, but then, but then it, when you click on the link, it
just takes you to the sign up for the ARC page, just as it is
any other app. And it doesn't really identify you as any being
in the group. And so I'm a little bit puzzled as to that.
And I did go on. The one thing I do like about the ARC, because
I, I got off the other, I got a bad taste again, every time I've
gone there. Well, it's actually been 20 years that I was
released that God said, you know, now, but so I've just
sort of played with it off and on. And I have nothing but
scammers and bad experiences. So, so far on, I'm just like,
totally, totally turned off on ARC. No, no, just in other in
general, other apps. And one of the things, yeah, one of the
things I like about the ARC is that it and, you know, as far as
I don't know how, I don't know how it would how someone could
fake it, but I'm sure people have figured out a way to do it.
But you actually have to verify yourself. Yeah, you have to take
a picture of you holding a Bible. And then it compares you
with your pictures you presented. And so I thought,
well, at least at least that's something, you know, because the
people that have been scammed, trying to scam me are totally
not the pictures they post. I know, it's really obvious. And
I'm just it's so distasteful that they even waste my time. So
yeah, I know. My time is precious. I'm 66 years old. So
I mean, every year is precious to me. And anyway, so my
question was, you know, what, what, that's on the resource
page, but I'm not really sure why it's on there.
The ARC is something again, and then I'm going to go follow up
with the team again, because that was something ARC is a
brand new dating app. And so it was kind of a partnership, where
it was, my understanding is, we would have kind of more of a
inside of, like events that there would be like, so if there
were singles events, we would have access to singles events.
But it wasn't necessarily something like we would have
anything extra with it, but just that we would have access to the
singles events that would be in the area.
No, it implies that you have a set that you get a special
you do, but it's not like, again, like a regular, let me
follow up with the team, just so I'm giving clear information.
Because what I when we when we first launched that whole
collaboration, it seemed because this was several months ago,
that there was not very many people in the app. So it was
kind of a misunderstanding, where there wasn't very many
members. And so depending on where you lived, there was a lot
of women that were struggling with meeting people, because
there wasn't very many people on the app.
Oh, I can totally verify that. There's no one probably within
100 miles of me.
Okay. So yeah, and you're in where
California. I'm in the Central Valley of California. Okay,
Central California. So yeah, there. And I and I checked many,
many months ago, I just happened to, I happened to find it and
checked. And at that time, I realized there was wasn't that
many people and I actually contacted the the the people
that created the app. And they did say we're new, we're working
on this, we'd love any feedback. And I gave them some feedback.
Yeah, how and that's the thing is like, nowadays, you have so
many people that are trying to like, make dating apps because
they want to be the new thing. And again, it's, it's all about
how your dating pool, how many people are in the app, right?
Like, you can't meet people unless there's people in your
app. So it's about attracting enough people. And so that's
where I'm trying to get more of an understanding, which again,
I'll contact the people on the team that were probably more
part of collaborating that and see if what information I can
find. Do I have a call with you on Monday, right? Yes. Yeah.
Let me see what I can gather before we have that call on
Monday. Because I know that was one of your questions.
Yeah. And so that's just Yeah, that was just a real quick one
that I just wanted to see if there was something missing,
because it says you have to come in. If you already were a
member, you'd have to come in under a different email in order
to take advantage of the last Yeah, and that's, you have to
click on that link in the resource tab and basically like
sign up through that link. And some people were already in the
app. And so they had to activate their old profile and then sign
up. Yeah. So but my understanding, it was more or
less for the special part was getting access to events in the
area. But again, if you weren't in a high volume area, like that
was kind of so I'm going to try to find out some more
information about that, to help you out with that. And then I
can report back to the ladies here, because I think everyone
would probably want to know that. And then I would like to
get feedback for all you ladies, especially if you are
interested in doing online dating. Let's go in the app. And
I think I had that for your activation last week. For those
of you that you know, feel peace about jumping out and
doing online dating. Let's start sharing what, what apps have you
had success with? I don't want to hear about the negative
stuff. Okay, let's let's not talk about the negative. Okay,
let's just share the positive. All right, let's get I know
there's negative out there. Okay. And I'm not trying to
like, I know that there's negative, but let's focus on the
positive. Okay, let's be helpful. And let's, let's
redirect our focus on the positive. Okay. Because the
truth is, there is positive out there. And just because it's
negative in let's so for example, let's take upward.
Okay, there's nothing bad. Like I'm not trying to knock on
upward. Okay. I used to live in Sarasota. Okay. Upward, let's
say upward in Sarasota was phenomenal. Lots of great
success. Okay. But then maybe upward and Atlanta was not so
great that the quality men and upward in Atlanta wasn't so
great. But the quality of men in upward in Sarasota was
phenomenal. It just depends on the demographic in the area. So
what works for one woman in one area and one demographic may not
work for someone else. So when you ladies are sharing your
positive feedback, share where you live. What's your age
demographic is? Okay, those are key components. Okay. It also is
important is, are you willing to date long distance or stay
local? I when I was dating online dating, I wanted to stay
local. So my experience online dating was not as successful
because I had limited people to choose from.
Sarasota
For soda is, and I was in my late 30s, okay?
Most people in that area were much older.
People that were in their late 30s, early 40s,
were married with kids already.
Or if they were in their 30s and single,
they didn't have kids,
nor did they probably wanna even entertain kids.
And I had a child.
So I really had like a smaller pool to choose from.
Because again, I was like, no, I don't wanna move.
I had to really, again, Jackie was like,
be open to long distance.
I'm like, I do too.
That was against one of my non-negotiables
that God really had to prepare my heart.
And that was a supernatural surrender.
That was a releasing of the pen.
That when I did,
that's when kind of God really opened the door for me.
And that's when I met my husband.
Okay, I'm not saying that like,
if you guys just let go of all your,
you know, again, things supernaturally can happen, okay?
Again, my story is not gonna be everybody else's story.
Okay?
I'm just giving you my personal example.
So again, like those type of things do matter
when we're looking at our online dating scenarios.
So just keep that in mind.
So because of where I lived and my age
and the fact that I was a single mom
really, really made online dating difficult for me.
So I had to be open to trying different dating sites.
And so what worked for me
maybe didn't work for somebody else.
And what worked for somebody else didn't always work for me.
And so that's why we do encourage you,
try a couple different ones.
Try some that are free.
Maybe try a paid one.
Be open to trying a paid one for a month or two.
And if you're not getting any traction,
then switch after a month or two.
My favorite, honestly, was Facebook dating.
Like, I feel like oftentimes
a lot of people have success with that.
Doesn't mean that we're not gonna have scammers.
If you're having scammers, vet them through us.
Screenshot stuff, screenshot your conversations,
show us what's going on.
Me, Ebony, Bethany, we have no problem scoping them out.
Jackie's really good at sniffing them out too.
Well, you have to-
What's that, Kim?
All you have to do is ask him to have a video call
and then you don't hear back from him.
I mean, that's a real quick way to screen him.
And that's why we, honestly,
that's why we encourage video calls as well.
Within that first week, a couple exchanges.
Hey, wanna get on a video call?
Oh yeah, that works.
You'll get holy ghosted so quick.
If they start asking really personal questions
and then they wanna start talking about money,
like, sure signs.
Again, bring them in.
And if you don't know how to respond to these things, ladies,
post them in the chat, post them in our app.
I will give you good, good, good feedback
on what to ask him.
And we will uncover real quick
whether or not they're a scammer or not.
And we don't have to get super offended by it.
You will be God protected, God defended.
You do not have to get offended by it.
Unfortunately, there are people out there that are scammers.
And it's not just in the dating world, y'all.
My husband works in insurance, he works in Medicare.
And you'll be surprised how many people
that get Medicare get scammed all the time
by people that are trying to put them
in horrible insurance policies,
take their money, life insurance, I mean, everything.
It is so heartbreaking.
Like when my husband works from home
and he's on these call with 70, 80 year old folks,
and hearing some of these heartbreaking stories,
like people calling them
and scamming them out of thousands of dollars.
Like, it's a thing and it's disgusting.
Like we live in a cursed world.
We have to just learn how we protect ourselves.
So when these things happen,
do not be afraid to share it with us in community.
We are here to help those blind spots for you.
and don't feel ashamed if you got misled.
Y'all, like I've been scammed before,
like because somebody will catch me off guard
on a phone call that I'll pick up
and I'll be busy with something else.
Like one of my kids is like acting a fool
and someone says something that seems alarming
and I'm just in my head and I'll just respond to something
and next thing you know, I'm like, what did I just do?
And next thing you know,
I'm giving information that was like personal
and before you know it, you're like, oh my gosh,
what did I just get myself into?
I've done it before y'all, like it happens.
Like we don't have to be, we don't have to be ashamed,
like we don't have to be ashamed of it.
These people are literally con artists
and they do it for a living.
So we don't like, don't beat yourself up
if you put yourself in that situation
but if you're willing to come here and say,
hey, I'm not sure if this is the situation,
can you help me out?
We're here to help you.
I feel like though that they stole my time.
I get it.
You know, it's not that I'm not offended,
I'm not embarrassed, they stole my time
and that's how I feel about it.
So yeah, anyway, I do wanna share though
that as far as what I did this last week,
I had said that I was gonna hang out at Lowe's
and wander the aisles.
So I did and you know, smiled at a lot of people
and said hello to a lot of people
and actually it was fun, I had a great time
because I absolutely like, I love Lowe's anyway.
So it's one of my favorite places
so I can feel comfortable there
but I did do something that was sort of
out of my comfort zone and that is it,
the women's Bible study that I attend this last week,
there's about 35 women there is when the Bible study ended,
I raised my hand and I said, I have an assignment
and I'm fulfilling an assignment
so you know, I'd like to share and I did
and the whole room were list,
all the ladies were just like, yay!
They were all excited and happy and encouraging
and I did not expect that response
and so it really was great, it was fun
and I felt like I did that I really accomplished
a lot just by sharing that.
So don't forget the people that you worship with,
you know, we sometimes don't share things
with the people that might matter the most
because they're on the front lines with us, you know?
Absolutely, like in community,
like this doesn't have to just be online stuff ladies,
like connect with the people that you do life with.
Yeah.
Absolutely, like let them pray with you,
share you on, you know, go do things with them,
get out, meet people, like so many opportunities for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing Kim.
For next Monday, I wrote down the stealing time.
Let's pray on that this week.
I'm gonna pray on it too to see what,
if there's something that Holy Spirit wants
us to talk about on Monday.
So pray on that some more
and see what Holy Spirit wants to bring out
and we can talk about that together on Monday.
Sound good?
I'm looking forward to it.
Yes, sounds good, thank you.
All right, you're welcome.
All right, Kim and then Mackenzie
and then I don't see any other hands
and then I'll go through the chat again, okay?
Hi everyone.
So I was just gonna say to everybody,
yeah, I've had pretty good luck on Facebook dating.
I don't know, I've only met three people,
I guess, from Facebook dating,
but all of them are real people and they all, you know,
I mean, it wasn't a bad experience.
So anyway, I would give Facebook dating a try.
But anyway, that's that.
So I'm just giving an update.
Actually, Kathleen asked about it.
So I am still seeing the other gentlemen.
I wanted to know too, I'm glad you raised your hand.
Well, so we had a really good fifth date.
Well, we had a fourth date and then we had a fifth date.
So that all, everything's been going really well.
But now I've been saying to the Lord like every day,
like, okay, now look,
God, I am getting ready to go into date six and seven,
probably.
And I said,
told you, you better tell me a loud, no, because what I don't want to have happen, like this
is moving forward. And because he's older and because we're getting more attached, obviously,
like I don't want to hurt anyone. And I don't want to, you know, I don't know. I just, I
just said, you know, we're getting into the more serious place. I'm not serious, but like
we're connecting. And so, yeah, now you're in those, like now you're into that later
level Tuesday. Yes. Yeah. And now I'm getting nervous. I'm getting very, and I'm enjoying
his company so much, like so much. I can't, he is the most kind. I mean, he's like I said,
he's got all the fruits of spirit. And now my question is, when do I, I kind of feel
like I need to dive into the faith thing a little bit more. And, and, and I don't know
I kind of feel like I'd like to invite him to my church, but maybe that's not ready yet.
I don't, I don't know. You've been on, you've been on a fourth and a fifth date. Yeah. Okay.
So I have a sixth one. We have a sixth one scheduled this Thursday. Okay. And so how
long has, have you guys been dating from first date? Started September, the very, very beginning
of September, beginning of September. And then before the first initial date, like how
long had you been talking before? How long have we been talking before our first date?
Yeah. I mean, we connected on Facebook dating and he, I mean, he immediately said, I'd love
to meet you. Okay. So, so we set up and I said, and then I said, well, I'm out of town,
but when I get back, yes, I would, I would love to do that. And then we got together
for a lunch date. So it's been at least probably what you'd say, five to six weeks that we've
been seeing each other. Yeah. Yeah. Talking, connecting. Yeah. Five to six weeks. Yeah.
It's already September and now we're at the beginning of October. Well, we're getting,
yeah, we're in the first week. Yeah. And I would, you probably had like a week before.
I mean, we were seeing each other like once a week maybe. And, and now, um, this last
week, I think we saw, we saw each other one day during the week and then we did see each
other Saturday. So it was twice. So when y'all are on dates and stuff and y'all are talking
and getting to know each other, like, do you, um, find opportunities to kind of drop hints
about your faith and like, I have, yes. I mean, I, I have, are there opportunities for
you then to reference back to him? Like, so give me an example where you kind of dropped
hints about your faith and let's see if we can kind of, um, see how we sprinkle it in.
Yeah. Well, I mean, I told him, you know, remember originally I told him that I had a
partner in this and that God was my partner. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. By the way, that
was letting him, you know, participate in this. So, yeah. So it wasn't just about me
and him, but, but there was a third party involved and it wasn't any other woman or
anybody else, but God, I like that. And so, um, and so I did that. And then, um, he said
something and I can't remember exactly what it was, but it, it was kind of like a thing
about faith. And I said, you know, but I said, my faith is believing and not seeing right.
Like we believe in, we're believing without seeing. And, and then he just kind of like,
he was like, yeah, but I could tell sometimes like maybe he questions like sometimes like,
and I just, I don't know how it came up. So I kind of, and I kind of probably missed the
opportunity there to talk more about that with myself, but I do feel it on my heart to,
to talk more about my, how important my faith is to me and how, um, I mean, he knows I go
to church. I, you know, in our texts and stuff, I've said, you know, it's Sunday. Yeah. I'm going
to church. And he asked me a while back about church because he's Catholic. Remember that's
the other thing. And I'm kind of like, and so he just told me that he didn't get a lot out of mass.
And he told me that his granddaughter was going to a non-denominational church and she seemed to
like it. And I said, well, I I'm Methodist. I said, and I've been in the Methodist church,
but I said, I'm also now going to a non-denominational church and I'm getting
so much out of it. So I kind of like, you know, and he sounded like, kind of like he was maybe
interested in what that's all about. Um, so I think, I think now you, I, I'm getting a sense
because again, now ladies I'm giving her this feedback because she's been on several dates
with this man. Okay. I would not suggest this. If this was like date number two or three,
she's been on five dates.
with him. She's known him over a month. Okay. She's, she's seeing
all the fruits of the Spirit from him. Okay. Love, peace,
patience, kindness, gentleness, all of it. Okay. She's had the
conversation, which was very, I mean, it was very witty, very
cute, about how, hey, there is a third person involved in this
relationship and it's God. Okay. I love it. Y'all go back and
listen to last week's replay. If you want to hear how she did it,
it's very, very, very good. Like, I love it. So and he took
that really well. It was very humorous. He has a sense of
humor with it. He was light hearted. It was fun. There was
no pressure on it. Like, how did he respond? Like, oh, so I'm
gonna have to get his permission. Like, it was, it
was, it was light hearted. It was cute. Like, it's probably
one of my favorite stories. I would ask him, hey, would there
ever be a time that you would be comfortable attending church
with me? How would you feel about that? And, and open the
floor for conversation. And get his feedback. You know, and
don't be afraid to like, actually have him open up and
share what his thoughts are. Now some men don't like to share
their thoughts and feelings. So I don't know how this man is.
He's, he's so open with where he is in his feelings. And he is
so like, genuine and just, he says what he's thinking. He says
what he's feeling. He's such a good communicator. So I can't
imagine that he wouldn't share his feelings and thoughts on
that.
Perfect. Okay. I mean, and I say that because my husband is not
a very like, feeler. My husband is an emotional person, but he
is different than a woman like, so but yeah, I would definitely
if he is open to sharing and you feel like he's, you know, give
him the floor to express where he's at with that. And listen,
just listen to where he's at with that. And then but it's I
mean, again, it's he's saying, you know, you're seeing the
spirit. It sounds like he's open to it. Again, he's, he sounds
like he's honoring and respecting your boundary. He
took that, that, you know, conversation of getting God's
permission really well. I can't imagine him being standoffish
about it.
I don't think he will.
I think it's gonna bring you a lot of inner peace, just to get
it out there and just get that off of your chest. And really
just put it out there. It's going to give you comfort and
peace of mind just to feel like, okay, you've set it out on the
table. And you can kind of see where he's at with it. And then
you guys can walk through it, talk it, talk through it, kind
of get some resolve, see what it's going to look like, and
map it out and process through what that what that's going to
look like, moving forward.
I think we'll have a good opportunity Thursday, because I
am, I am going to his house, we're going to sit on his patio
and have dinner. And so we'll be we won't be in a restaurant,
we'll be alone. And yeah, that would be a good opportunity to
bring that up.
I think so too. And then just keep keep us posted how that
goes. All right. But I got I got good feelings for it. So
whatever the outcome is, I think it will. It will be good.
Well, I'm a little I like that. I'm a little freaked out.
Because I keep saying, Okay, Lord, you know, you better give
me that no sooner than later. Because it's like, we're getting
into this. And I keep listening for the no. And it's like I said,
everybody says it's a yes. So it's a no. And I still feel like
it's a yes. And I'm like, it's kind of like freaking me out.
A little bit.
Well, and we can and again, if you if these like freaked out
feelings keep surfacing, we can definitely unpack those two.
It's totally normal to have these freaked out feelings. I
did too. Like, there was definitely like, times where I'm
like, Oh, my goodness, like, what is this?
Especially when we're praying for our spirit mate. And then
all of a sudden, maybe God might I mean, I don't know, but I'm
not saying that he's that yet. But yeah, but you're like
delivering and you're like, why am I? Is this actually
happening? Like, right? Why am I surprised that God is going to
maybe be the God that he says he is and fulfill his promises. And
then you start kind of like
should be like, Oh, yeah, no, it's not gonna be that. Not yet.
Yeah. Like you're pinching yourself. Like, wait, is this
really like, you know, I get it. So we're here to help you. We're
here to walk the whole journey through whether it happens or
like, however, like whatever God has in store, we're here by
your side.
So much.
Thank you. You're welcome. Always. All right. Is it? Is it
a kit? I'm not sure if I'm reading your name, right? You're
gonna have to say it for me.
Yeah, Mackenzie's right. Mackenzie. Okay.
Is it your is it there an L on it that I'm seeing? Oh, that's
my last name. Okay, that's what I thought. And I was just like,
I don't want to like mispronounce. Yeah, I don't know
why it's like that. Sure. It's Mackenzie.
Can feel
you never know.
How are you? Oh, good.
Um, okay. So we talked last time. Mm hmm. About Elijah. And
oh, yeah, that's right. Okay. Thank you for refreshing my
memory. You told me specifically. Tell, ask God why
he's named that. Yes. And why is his name Elijah. And I've
dived into his name meanings and all that. So there's that
there. But then I have another prophetic friend that came over
and was we were just chatting. And he said the same thing. He
was like, ask God why his name is Elijah.
And I was like, Okay, God, like I see you. Like, all right,
thanks for confirming that I'm paying attention.
So then, oh, last weekend, you know, I downloaded all the apps
like it was my job. And I had a friend with me and we were just
swiping through laughing and I got on arc. It's a RK I don't
know if it's the same thing you guys were talking about. But
just a friend had just randomly suggested it. And I have all my
settings because I'm in a small town set to like 200 miles or
whatever. It's long distance. But anyways, so I had someone on
arc, like comment on my picture, like, Oh, you're
gorgeous, whatever. And so I responded and for kicks and
giggles, but I almost didn't. And I just wanted to say, I'm so
glad that I'm doing this program because he has the same name as
my accent.
So, like, if I hadn't done this training, and like, you know,
surrender your non negotiables, you know, and heard like,
absolutely not. Is it Bethany? Is Bethany married to Brian? Is
that her? Yes, Bethany and Brian. Yeah. So her story. I
was like, Okay, God can redeem a name. And so I'm like, Alright,
just for kicks and giggles. I'll just respond and start talking.
And then within an hour, we had gone to a phone call. Okay. And
then we went the next day and we were doing we did a FaceTime.
And basically, we've been talking and on the phone and
FaceTiming for four days straight. And it's a little bit
intense. But I there's just been so much like the dreams that I
had about Elijah. I before we had a phone call a couple nights
ago, I was praying I was like, God, how in some of the I had a
dream with Elijah in it. I don't think I shared that. But I
was in her dream. I told her that Elijah had recognized me in
his dream from his dreams. So I was kind of praying that like,
if just for that confirmation that he would have also had a
dream about me. Okay. So I was praying that that would just be
confirmed. And I went up and I talked to him on the phone. He
told me this whole beautiful dream that he's thought about
since he was in high school about, like dancing under the
street with a girl with long brown hair, and like specific
song was playing in the dream. And I don't know. And I didn't
even ask him to share that. And, but he doesn't put like as much
stock in dreams, you know? Okay. Anyway, there's just been so
many of those little I feel like they're God winks. Like, my
favorite number is 22. He's born on January 22. I'm like,
just things like that. And there's a lot of parallels to my
ex, but like, in a, like a redeeming way. So like, he's in
wine distribution, but he's like, which is what my ex did.
And but he's not an alcoholic, right? And then, you know, he's
also an Aquarius, but he's not. I don't know. I don't believe in
stuff. But still, it's just like, there's all these weird
parallels. But then every thing
that was a con for my ex has been a pro for him.
And so I'm trying to like, just appreciate the alignment
and just someone to appreciate me for who I am.
I guess my question is, so I just,
the radius was for Colorado, you know,
but somehow he got matched to me
and he's in Pasadena, which is where my dad grew up.
And I have family in LA, you know,
like it's not crazy that I could,
he could come here or whatever,
but he had his radius that like,
he's the one that picked me, right?
So I don't have to feel bad that I'm so far away.
I don't really know.
That's what makes it also feels just miraculous
because anyway, but I,
I've been working hard to just let him lead.
And he has offered to come to fly out here.
And I just don't know how to structure that.
Like the logistics are kind of intimidating me
because, you know, I don't know.
It just seems really scary.
Okay. Yeah.
I don't know.
Like, I don't fully trust myself and you know,
but I didn't want to like squash it.
Tell me more about that.
What about, what do you not trust about yourself?
I just have a full life and kids and, you know,
he doesn't have kids.
He's never been married,
which I think is a good thing.
Cause then he is more flexible,
but just trusting that like,
I think maybe right now,
because I do feel so like in love that letting his action
speak.
And so I think it's important for me to let him fly out
here and not try to like be a people pleaser and go there.
Cause my sister, you know,
but also I just don't know if like,
I'll have self-control, I guess.
Okay. Not just like, okay,
let's go to the courthouse.
Yeah. Let's yep.
We're going to, we're going to pump the brakes for sure.
Okay. There's a lot girl.
I got you.
Sorry. That was a lot, but I know.
That's what we're here for.
One. I was, I was a mom as well.
Okay. It was a single mom.
Okay. I got you.
All right. This is why we're in community.
Okay. Cause we're not going to let you,
we're not going to let you, you know,
rush to anything too quickly.
Okay. We're going to help you slow it down.
We're going to help you pace.
Okay. You're going to hold,
you're going to hold yourself accountable by showing up in
this community.
That's important.
Okay. So continue to keep showing up.
That's important.
So that you're going to write that down,
show up in community.
So do not, do not come.
Don't don't drift from this community.
Well, thank you for reminding me to jump in today.
So, yes.
So that's important.
Now, did I hear you say something about in love?
Yes.
Okay. We're going to, we're going to stop that.
Okay. Yeah.
We're going to recognize that.
Okay. We want to put that on.
Let's okay.
We're going to recognize that.
Okay. We're having these feelings.
We just want to make sure that they're not,
they're not coming from an unhealed place.
Yeah.
We just want to keep them in check.
We want to pace them properly.
Okay. It's okay to get excited.
It's okay that all these things are coming together.
Okay.
But we just do not want to rush the process to get us,
get us into a place that is not healthy.
Yes.
All right.
I love that you're recognizing that these could be things
that God is winking at you.
Okay.
Cause the things that I was hearing is,
again, regardless of this man is your spirit mate,
these could be things that God is wanting to show you
that yes, you're on the right path.
Whether this man is your spirit mate or not,
God is wanting to, again, to possibly,
I hear the word redemption.
There's some things that he was wanting to redeem,
whether this man is your spirit mate or not.
Like, let's take that completely off the table.
You're on path.
Yeah.
There's a path there.
Okay.
And again, I heard like old and new.
Did I tell you the word restitution?
I told you about that?
No.
I don't know if you did or not.
You might have.
For the Jewish new year.
Okay.
So it's like, it means literal renewing of something.
And the fact that-
Again, that could just be confirmation that, again.
That's what God is doing in your life right now.
So it's just, you know, just hold into that promise,
whether this, again, we're not gonna rush into that.
This could or could not be your spirit mate.
Well, let's not rush ahead, okay?
Because sometimes we hear God's words
and sometimes we can misinterpret that as well, okay?
So we wanna just stick close to just, okay?
Let's just hear what we're hearing.
Let's not misinterpret, okay?
Let's just sit close with that, okay?
And I'm not saying that this guy isn't or isn't,
but it's still too soon.
Okay, we wanna slow it down.
Let's just be open.
I don't wanna force what I want his words to mean.
Yes, exactly, okay?
When you were saying that, again,
sit with this image of old wineskins and new wineskins.
So what that speaks to you.
I think there's something there, again,
redemption, restitution, all of that.
So that's there, okay?
So that, I wanted to get that out.
Yeah.
Now back onto this long distance, okay?
Your mom, again, I can relate to that.
I can relate to the long distance stuff.
I was in Florida, my husband was in Texas.
When we do the long distance dating,
it is important that we meet the person
within three to six weeks in person, okay?
I love, a green flag for me is that this guy
is offering to come visit you.
That is masculine for him to offer
and take the lead there, okay?
We do wanna make sure that you're putting up guardrails
so that you are making safe and healthy choices, okay?
So don't want you to share where you live, okay?
Give him an area of where you live
and give him some options of places to stay.
Okay.
So whether that's a hotel, Airbnbs,
you're not gonna give him your address,
you're gonna give areas of where you can meet him at.
Okay.
You also have a life.
You do not have to block out the entire time
that he's there and dedicate your whole time to him.
Okay.
You can be clear while you're here,
I have this time and this time available.
You could even give him some ideas of,
here's some fun things in the area
that you can do while I'm not available.
He's a grown man.
He can find things to do on his own.
Okay.
You could even ask him,
does he know anybody in your area?
Is there anything that he wants to go and explore?
He can get a rental car, he can go and travel.
Right, yeah.
Right?
Yes.
Y'all, like I did this as a single woman.
I would travel by myself, okay?
Yeah.
So he's a grown man,
it's easier for grown men to do that.
Yeah.
Do not feel obligated to spend all your time.
Because again, you have your mother.
It's not just about your safety,
it's about your children's safety as well.
Okay.
So again, do not share your home location.
Okay.
Well, yeah, it looks like the best airport's
like three hours from me.
So I was thinking about going to stay with my sister there
and then just hang out in the city, even though, you know.
Okay, perfect.
I wanted to come here eventually.
Would your sister be able to help out with,
how many kids do you have?
Three.
Three, okay.
So I'm thinking while they're with their,
if I can work it to where they're with their dad
and I could go to Denver and just like hang out
with my sister and see him and that's plan A, but yeah.
So again, and give them like,
hey, these are the weekends that I'm free
because my kids are with their dad.
I mean, that's what I had to do
when my husband would come visit.
I mean, again, I did not change
my son's schedule with his dad.
So fun fact, when my husband wanted to come out
and fly to see me, he was coming to fly out
because it was the end of his busy season.
And he asked me, hey, I'm flying in.
Can we get together?
And I said, well, that weekend I have my son with me.
I'll see if I can get a sitter.
That weekend we're driving to Orlando
and I'm taking him to see for King and Country in concert.
for their Christmas show.
It's my son's favorite band.
Like I'm not, not taking my son,
like I have plans with my son that weekend.
I will see what I can do.
I can't make promises.
Yeah.
Y'all wanna know what my husband did?
No, he's not my husband then, but like, you know.
He got back to me like the next day and said,
how about, yeah, they are like my favorite show.
We've seen them like three times.
Sorry, I just saw Sam's comment.
My husband like reached back out to me
like the next day or two and says,
hey, why don't I come the weekend before
and then I'll come back the weekend after?
My husband split his work trip into two weekends.
I was like, okay.
So that to me was a sign to me
and like, this man's intentional.
And like, it was funny because he asked me like
that first weekend that he was coming,
he was like, am I gonna get to see you more than once?
And I was like, can we meet first before I decide
if I wanna see you more than one time?
I mean, it was kind of like,
I was kind of like, I'm not going to promise
that I'm gonna see you more than once.
What if I don't like you?
I mean, and it's a joke now,
because he said when I said that to him,
he's like, it dawned on him like,
oh, what if this girl's crazy?
You're right, maybe I don't wanna hang out
with her more than once.
Like, I mean, because I was like, I'm not going,
I'm like, I put up boundaries.
I'm like, look, I don't know who you are.
Like, yeah, we're having conversation
for a couple of weeks.
I haven't met you.
I don't know if I'm gonna like you.
I don't know what, like,
what if you're a jerk at the restaurant?
I don't know.
So, but like, I was not, I was still a person.
I was still a mom.
I was not going to, I was not going to compromise myself
because this man was rearranging his schedule
and doing all those things.
That didn't mean that I didn't appreciate what he was doing,
but I wasn't gonna feel obligated to take down my boundaries
because of something that he chose to do.
That was his choice.
So again, you're setting clear boundaries.
Tell him, hey, this is when my kids will be with their dad.
I can stay with my sister.
Here's some hotels nearby.
These are some nights that are free.
I'm gonna spend some time with my sister.
Here's some cool things that we can do.
Here's some things that you can do in Denver on your own
if you're interested.
Find out some things that he likes.
So, but don't, don't go overboard
and spend every waking moment that he's there.
Give yourself some space, pace it properly.
And that might be hard.
Yes, it will be.
I get it.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, thank you.
We don't wanna rush the pace, okay?
I'm a rusher, so.
I know.
But it's good because I didn't think,
I didn't think I would even be able to feel this way again.
So, yeah.
Yep, just again, don't leave this community, okay?
Right, yeah.
Stay accountable here.
Ladies, that goes for all of you.
That goes for every single one of you
because that will happen when you all start dating
and you find someone that you're really interested in.
It's really easy to get so focused on that relationship
and you're gonna wanna just spend your time there
and you're gonna forget about this community.
If anything, that's when you need to show up
in this community more.
It's so important.
If anything, that's when I really, really needed
to hold myself accountable in this community
was when I got into a serious level three relationship
that was marriage-minded because things surfaced.
I had to walk through the process.
And that's why we have this phase
that when you ladies start getting into these dates,
stuff is gonna surface and heartwork stuff
is gonna start coming up.
And we want you to have a little bit of a smaller community
as you start going into that dating process
where we can be in a smaller setting to process it with you
before you all go into phase three,
where again, you still have community,
especially when you get into those level threes
where you can jump into love seats with Jackie
and ask Jackie questions, especially in those level three
and you have a lot more coaches over there
that can help.
impact things with you. Myself and Ebony are also guys in phase three so
sometimes we'll still chime in when you're in phase three if you're in
relationship. I still keep eyes on my girls over there as well so just know
that as well. All right we're about 15 minutes over but I do want to skim
through the chat make sure that I didn't miss anything. I gotta go up here make
sure that I didn't. Okay yeah it was Helen that was at the Disney retreat. Oh
awesome you guys are gonna go to Magnolia Market for the retreat. That
would be awesome if it was on a Saturday because then maybe when I'm on my way
down to Austin I can pop in. I love that place. Their bakery is amazing y'all if
you've ever been to Magnolia their bakery their coffee shop. I mean I could
like literally that place is just it's heaven. I imagine that's what heaven
looks like. Okay Sam we're gonna be praying for you. I'm really sorry to hear
that you had a family emergency. Take all the time that you need. You even need a
little bit of time to process with us in the community. We're here for you. It's
not just about dating. We're here for we're here for all of it. I don't think
HK is here anymore but I'm glad that she feels like she's okay now. And yeah that
if it's if dating is online dating is not for her in this moment that's
totally fine. Yep and that things become idols. Ladies that's always important if
you realize that dating or online dating is becoming an idol for you like
again if God is showing that to you and you need to take a step back that's
totally fine. Again we don't know what God is speaking to you so you have to
again that's why you having your own personal relationship with God is very
important. Okay
nothing is wasted. I love that. Yes yes yes we love we loved we loved Kim's
update. I love it love it. Yeah some people are gonna have a good good
impression of our others may not. Again it just depends on where where you're
located all that stuff.
Yep yep yep okay just making sure I'm not missing anything. Awesome I love that
you're in meetup groups. Again yeah if you're not online what ways are y'all
getting out there? Always always good. Hiking groups perfect. Picnics yep. If
farmers markets are probably be closing down soon as we get into these cool
cooler months probably have like another month or two. Farmers markets are also
really great places that you can meet people strike up conversation and I'm
talking about strike up conversations with people of all ages because you
never know who like has a grandson, a cousin, a nephew, an uncle like you just
never know. You never know.
Yeah you got to watch out for those friend requests on Facebook. I see that a
lot. My best advice for those friend requests on Facebook go look at their
friends page. Go see what their friends with. If they have very minimal amount of
friends especially if there's a lot of like if it's a man and he's friends with
a lot of like like 20 women it's a fake page. Like oftentimes what I want to do
is like I want to like message every single one of those women be like y'all
realize this man is fake. My husband even said I probably should and I should
promote and I should promote last year's single to them. You want to learn how to
not get duped by these men come come join me in this community. What did you
want to say Sarah Shell? If you scroll down you can even see where it says like
so-and-so and her profile. Like it literally says and her profile like
you look at the posts it's like you know next next next. Yeah exactly so again like
do your due diligence before accepting. Like my whole thing
As if I don't know you and you don't have mutual friends of mine.
Deny.
Well, the other thing I learned to do years, you know, when I was on the dating
apps and it was catastrophic, let's just put it that way, wrong thing, wrong thing
for me to do wrong time, everything.
But I would, I would take a snapshot of the photos.
So I would literally grab the photo and then I would go into Google image search.
And it would pull it up.
It would pull it up like his magazine images and other kinds of stuff
and, and all different kinds of things.
And I'm like, okay, next, next, next, next, you know, and some of them
were literally like the word would say, this is a scam photo because
it was going after somebody.
Like, have you watched the online dating?
I just finished, I just rewatched the date, just dating one Oh one right
before this call, but I haven't gone to the online dating one yet.
It's been a hot minute since I watched the online dating one.
I mean, and I'd have to go back and see, I know when I first joined the program,
we even had like an online safety thing and we like learned how to
kind of spot all of that stuff too.
And that's why I say like, anytime you ladies are on and you have
questions, like post the stuff in the app and we'll, we'll help
you decipher all that too.
And I'm like, I'm like HK.
I think it was HK who mentioned it.
You know, it was like, my time is too valuable to me to be
playing with a bunch of scammers.
You know, I just like, no, if I'm God protected and God defended,
then God, you can, you know, you can do this.
You're God.
I'm not.
Well, there we go.
And that's what I'm saying.
Like, if that's, if you've, if you have peace about that, then, then let's,
let's make sure that you're getting out in other areas and figure out, you
know, how, how else are you getting out and meeting people?
Well, let's put our focus there.
I'm looking at moving because there is literally nothing that
interests me where I currently am.
I have explored it for three years and I'm like, are you kidding me?
People like, this is what you call entertaining.
This is what you call fun.
And, and I've, and I've asked, where are you wanting to move to?
Actually want to move down to Sarasota or back to, or back to Naples.
Okay.
Because I mean, I've literally asked people who have lived here for like 20, 30, 40
years.
Wichita, Kansas.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
Get yourself by beach.
I see that beach behind you.
Oh yes.
I am totally a beach girl.
I am totally let's get you to be where I'm here, you know, where it's like,
so let's, are you starting to like pray and ask God to like, um, show
you ways to start that shift?
I have been praying and asking God about this for three years.
Okay.
And he did some major work that took me all the way back to the womb and all the
way back to things by being here.
Okay.
That he couldn't have done elsewhere.
And he's done that this year, which was great.
And he told me, he goes, that's why I had to bring you here.
Besides what I originally brought you here.
It's why I kept you here is what he said.
You know, not why he said why he originally invited me here to help other
people.
Um, which I did that.
I did that for you, right?
This has been a season.
That's been very, he literally stripped every friend.
I mean, everything was stripped away.
Everything that I used nature wise, joy wise, anything stripped away,
absolutely stripped away.
So every time Bethany said, go out and have fun.
And I felt like going, yeah, let me just give you a different finger, but that's
not Christian.
Like, Oh, there's something.
There's, there's something that's got to go.
There was literally nothing.
I mean, I have gone to every single type of, and I'm like, These people are like
into football and pickleball.
And I'm like, first of all, I didn't even know what the hell pickleball was.
I'm thinking like, you're throwing pickles at each other.
I'm like, that's been like a big craze.
Like it just like exploded.
What are you talking about?
And then the other thing is like, they're like, they're all into football.
I couldn't give a rat hooey about any sport.
Yeah.
Cause you're in Kansas, right?
So Kansas city cheese, like everybody's on that kick.
Oh yeah.
Like even from the platform from church.
And I'm like, seriously, kick it out of the church.
So let me ask you what, what things do you, like, if you, if that's no pickleball,
no, no football, what, what do you enjoy?
Like, what do you like?
Like what brings you joy?
Oh my God.
Underwater photography, nature photography, where there's beauty.
I used to live in Hawaii and I found out that I was massively gifted in that.
build in that it was just it was God you know it wasn't me let's get let's get
you to a beach girl the worst miss the biggest well one of the biggest regrets
of my life was ever leaving Hawaii making my marriage more important when
God had sent us there you know it was leaving that I my whole life was magical
there I mean there's no other way to say it it was you have any I couldn't screw
it up I've ever tried well where you can you can definitely redeem that right
God's gonna redeem that for you yeah do you want do you want to go back to Hawaii
or do you feel like Florida is more to be honest I actually want to leave the
country I've oh I've never felt like America was my country okay I never felt
like it was my home the only place I've ever the first place I ever felt the
energy of home like I belong here like this is oh this is where I belong okay
was Hawaii the next place was Tahiti the next place was Australia the next place
was Santorini Crete and Ireland amazingly every single one is an island
you have are you able to plan any trips coming up do you have the ability to do
that I'm looking I'm looking at a trip to a conference that I want to in South
and I can stop and visit friends along the way and then I was going to take a
detour down like to Sarasota and you know and back down there and go okay
Lord is this still the place for me because literally since I was born I'm
like I don't feel like I belong here like I'm supposed I've loved
international travel my whole life have you have you been to see have you ever
been to see us the key in Sarasota have you ever been to Sarasota yeah you're
a key I've been to see us to key I've been I think a semi I've lived in
Orlando I lived in Naples I lived in Clearwater I've lived in Tampa you know
so I know those yeah I can just picture you like go out and see us a key that
beautiful courts white sand beach just go and have some like prayer time on
that cool sand and just pray and let God speak to you like that was one of my
favorite things to do is just go out there when it's quiet especially if you
can go during a season when there's not a lot of tourists hmm and just let the
Lord speak to you and see what he can what he'll reveal to you and like where
he wants to call you I mean I look at me that was over you that you know God's
gonna just direct you to get down there and he's just gonna speak to you and
he's gonna direct you where you need to go and he's gonna he's gonna he's gonna
direct you home he's gonna bring you to your place of joy yeah because it's
certainly not here let's get you to where you need to be and in doing what
you love and I love that like underwater photography and like you need to be near
water oh totally even just that background that I see like you need to
be near water yeah that's Naples the background I love Naples yeah I'm down
there yeah I would walk the beach four or five times a week and I would be
there like five o'clock in the morning six o'clock in the morning so I would
then leave like nine o'clock you know eight nine o'clock in the morning so it
was people weren't around I was always that was my God time that was my God
connection time and stuff and it's just been very challenging being in a place
where it that has like no water I get that I get that definitely a water
person to a lot of lakes I've lived in Austin it has a lot of water there too
and that's you know at least it has moving water you know I just need to be
near water yeah so all right well yeah we're praying for you girl all right
we're here for you we're here to to be there for you any way that we can okay
yeah I'm glad I'm glad you're always here showing up all right all right I
think I got through most of the chat here love it love it
love it love it love it okay ladies thanks for sticking it out
Lori good to see you all right ladies I will see you all next week don't forget
to jump on Ebony's call tonight if you can and I will see you ladies next week
all right