WEBVTT

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Oh, it's weird, it didn't ask if I want to record to the cloud.

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One second.

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Oh, maybe it's something fancy new.

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Anyway, I hope you ladies have been having a really good day.

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It's so good to see all of you all.

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So, we'll get started.

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I'm trying to see as I look around, it's just a few of us.

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Is this anyone's first time?

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You Crystal?

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Okay.

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Oh yeah, it's mine too.

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It's yours too?

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Yeah.

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Who else?

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Renee, it's your first time also?

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Yeah.

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Yep.

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Is it your first time in a coaching session or just the first time at 8pm?

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Just the first time for tonight.

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Okay.

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What about you, Alexandra?

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Yeah, first time in the Phase 2 coaching.

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Oh, okay.

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Same for you, Crystal.

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First time in Phase 2 coaching?

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Yes, it is.

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Well, welcome.

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It's nice that it's smaller, I guess.

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I like that.

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Yeah.

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Oh, then which one?

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Then, um, hard work.

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Yeah, so Phase 2 for some reason is smaller than Phase 3.

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The LYS is much, much, much, much, much larger.

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And then I think we all start out running the race.

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Something happens in between and then something happens on the other side.

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But it's so good to have you ladies here tonight.

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I'm excited and I'm so happy that you're in Phase 2.

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I will forever say, I think I've been, I did the program probably about three and a half,

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three years ago.

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I keep adding a little bit, take away every time I see it.

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But this was, this phase of the program was my absolute favorite because it helped me grow

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and build muscles that I did not know exist and I did not know needed to be worked.

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I had a plan in my mind, but then Jackie was my coach.

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And so, you know, she has a strong, a strong way.

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And so she really helped me grow this program, changed my life.

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It helped to create the woman that I am now.

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And I'm thankful for it.

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And dating really progressed the process for me.

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And so I had a lot of arguments.

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Every argument I hear, it is one that I had.

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A lot of thoughts, a lot of things I believe, a lot of things I was so sure of.

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But this has helped me so much.

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And I hope that you ladies enjoy this journey as much as I have.

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I'm excited and so thankful, privileged and honored.

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I tell you, the delight is all mine to get to do this journey with you all.

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So thank you for trusting us here at LYS.

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We are grateful for what heaven is doing in your life.

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And so we ask that you try to watch one video each week, however you want to do it.

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Take some time, reflect on it.

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Ideally, Phase 2 is about four to five weeks, five or six weeks.

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You can stay as long as you want.

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And then when you're ready to transition, you just look up in the resources.

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And it tells you how to send your email to move into Phase 3.

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And so we do ask that you try not to post anything from outside sources in the community group.

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And the reason why we ask that is because we like to make everyone feel safe.

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And so if it's not something from Jackie, we don't want someone to be triggered

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or to give somebody the wrong information that's not been vetted.

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But if there's something you're very passionate about, we do ask that you send it to admin

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and they will filter through it or make a decision about it.

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And then you'll feel free to post.

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We do ask that you encourage each other.

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Read what each other posts.

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You're going to find out that we're not much apart in difference or have the same struggles

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or have the same thoughts or feel the same way at some point in the journey

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because it's such an up and down process.

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Sometimes it's really high and sometimes it's low and sometimes it's low, low.

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But we're in a community and we get to share.

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And so that's why we ask that you guys check out the wall, keep us up to date.

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We like to be a part of your journey and to help you make those hard decisions.

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And even when you need a shoulder to cry on because you didn't like how you processed it

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or did something, we're here for you.

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We want to help you with it.

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That's my spiel.

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Any questions for me?

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I live in Austin, Texas.

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I am right now I'm a third grade ELAR teacher.

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And that's what I get to do every day.

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And I'm excited for Thanksgiving break and Christmas break.

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That's what I'm thinking about.

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Other than that, that's it.

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This phase, I do want to say this.

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It's not just about dating.

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It's all about you.

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So I don't ever want you to feel like you shouldn't

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come to coaching because you're not dating

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or you don't have any dates to report.

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I'll pull up this question.

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Because it's all about you, the hard work that you've done

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is going to get expanded, stretched,

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and tried in all areas of life.

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It's not just going to be in dating.

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Nothing does it quite like dating,

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but you're going to get it all over.

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Did you meet someone and get married?

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No.

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I have met a lot of people, but I am not married yet.

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And so, yeah.

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Any other questions for me?

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You can ask any time.

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I want you to feel completely comfortable asking

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any questions that you have.

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Did you say, oh, sorry, it's four to five weeks

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you recommend to be in this?

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Is that what you said?

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It's typically about four to five weeks long.

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I don't want to say long, four to five weeks move pretty fast.

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But yeah, because it's about four to five videos.

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And so we say if you're watching your videos,

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doing your check-ins, and kind of growing with the process.

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But yeah.

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Cool, thank you.

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You're welcome.

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All right, anything else?

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Well, cool.

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We're going to jump right in, because we always

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run short on time.

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And I want us to stick with our time tonight.

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And so, yes, Sina.

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Why didn't I just say it right, girl?

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You did say it right.

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Oh, OK.

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I wanted to share for encouragement,

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because I went to this speed dating event once, right?

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And I was like, oh, I don't think this is for me.

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Then I got invited again for free.

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And I'm so glad I went the second time,

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because it was a lot better.

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And then I found a Christian one, which is even better.

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And that's next week.

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But I just wanted to share for encouragement

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that if we try it once, maybe we should give it another chance.

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And that was it.

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Yeah, that's so encouraging.

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It's so awesome.

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I was talking with someone yesterday,

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and they were like, it's a speed dating event coming up.

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Want to go with me?

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I'm like, I've always wanted to go on a speed dating event.

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Yeah, so thanks for sharing.

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I was wondering if they had Christian speed dating events.

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I had to pray about it, and then God showed me,

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yep, here's one.

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Yeah, that's awesome.

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Where are you located?

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Are you in Canada?

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No, I'm in SoCal, Southern California.

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Oh, OK.

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OK, all right.

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Thanks for sharing.

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Dee, what's going on, lady?

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How are you feeling?

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Hello.

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Yeah, I'm getting there slowly.

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I'm not 100%, but I'm pushing through.

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And I, yeah, I'm just trying to call

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before my head starts spinning again.

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But thank you and hello.

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And your hair looks great.

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Oh, thank you.

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So, yeah, I wanted to share.

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Thanks for your responses.

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I saw them this morning.

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So thanks for those.

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I just wanted to just share a bit about what's happening,

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just in case, you know.

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Again, because I'm a little off and not feeling well,

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I don't know if that's what's making me feel a certain way

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about it all.

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And it might just be that.

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And then again, I don't know if I'm just going off

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certain people.

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I mean, I'm trying to give myself grace

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and just try and get over this thing,

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whatever this bug is, whatever it is, you know.

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But what's really nice is Mr. Long Distance,

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he's been really on it.

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I mean, even, you know, since the message,

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the recent message that I put up in the app,

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he, like yesterday, was just popping up,

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praying for more healing, D, hang in there.

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And then today, I hope today you feel better

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and continue in that direction.

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And just really, you know, it's just nice,

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positive little notes.

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I'm still obviously reserved.

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You know me, I'm not getting attached.

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I haven't, we still haven't had our video call yet.

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And it's all waiting on me now to get better,

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to have this call.

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But it's just nice.

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I just wanted to express that it's nice

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that someone's there that's just,

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not that there aren't people in my world

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that are doing this too,

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but you know, someone on the dating front

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who's just being positive and brought in that element,

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you know, just popping in with those positive messages,

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which is so nice.

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And then there's also Mr. Man, Man, Man, Man.

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And he was like, man, man, man, and then man, man.

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I don't know, man, man, man.

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And I was like, okay.

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I don't know if you saw that he, yeah,

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he got injured around the same time that I was sick.

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And so, who's that with the eyes?

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um i was trying to wonder about this man man i'll tell you what i tell you what i don't want to say

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the wrong thing because i'm british and like there's i've got perceptions of what you know

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like the same thing but this man is a man like he's the real deal like the real deal and i'm

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just like yes yes okay you know but anyway the point is is that um i saw some flags

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uh all along and again it could be just me being like you know and i'm not attached

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you know i mean i'm doing the thing where i'm just dating to discover and there's not nothing

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outrageous um he's been an absolute gentleman and so he's masking the things that gentlemen

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should mask in front of a lady does that make sense so on one hand that's good you know he

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how to behave himself for want of a better term and he's a gentleman as well um i can give an

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example for instance um something he said a while ago about drinking um and again you know this was

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like the first date and i i'm learning you know from you and carla right there's certain things

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to not go down don't talk about certain things and i didn't want to jump on it it was just a

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impression that he may have had a drinking problem before and again that doesn't mean anything

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you know i'm not making judgment it just i just thought you know just keep it just keep it in in

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mind just in case you know observe and just see if it's an issue that makes sense we're just dating

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to get to know each other we're not doing anything serious at this point he wasn't being belligerently

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drunk he wasn't talking about anything yeah you know so it wasn't like a big red flag but it was

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just a mention of something to just keep in my mind um and i've moved on you know that was like

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a few dates ago and then recently he um i mean again this might be tiny so please tell me if

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i'm just just not well oh yeah what was the comment that you said i didn't hear the comment oh it was

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like a it was okay so there's this song um so there's this song and we both love music and

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there's a song i won't repeat the title because it has a swear word in it and i i only know the

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song from years ago it's a really good song so it's not about the title okay and he didn't even

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express the title because it of the word but this really good song is like a catchy rock and roll

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that makes sense anyway so it's about it's about alcohol it's about recovery it's about

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it's deep like it's about being in drug recovery alcohol recovery it's about that and that's the

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actual right so it's what the song's about and we were just about songs we like catchy catchy songs

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and so you mentioned this song it's like i don't know if you know and you started humming the and

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i totally knew the rhythm because i'm a musician right so um we're just humming the rhythm kind

248
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of thing i'm like that's such a good song talk about the song itself and he said something about

249
00:13:04.890 --> 00:13:09.790
but what hit me when he first learned it was what it's actually about and i'm a lyricist so and i

250
00:13:09.790 --> 00:13:13.810
really understand lyrics and what they're really about if that makes sense and so i actually said

251
00:13:13.810 --> 00:13:17.290
oh i actually understand because a lot of people don't get it like you know it's a good song so

252
00:13:17.290 --> 00:13:23.690
they wouldn't understand what it means and it's quite a deep song about deep dark times you know

253
00:13:23.690 --> 00:13:30.790
in in recovery or addiction and then it was it seemed as though he just said he related to it i

254
00:13:30.910 --> 00:13:35.470
kind of i don't think it's deliberately i kind of blocked it because i didn't want to take it in if

255
00:13:35.470 --> 00:13:39.730
that makes sense and because it was light and he didn't it wasn't a deep comment it was just a kind

256
00:13:40.290 --> 00:13:44.050
of it's his it's his favorite it used to be his favorite karaoke song because he could really

257
00:13:44.050 --> 00:13:49.410
relate it was kind of comment like that oh okay right so it wasn't like uh you know i don't know

258
00:13:49.970 --> 00:13:54.890
but that was what happened and i didn't again it was the very first day it was within the first 20

259
00:13:54.890 --> 00:13:58.830
minutes and i was just like and then we just kept talking about the song and other music and then

260
00:13:58.830 --> 00:14:03.710
we carried on you know so that's it so that was like my first if it had to be maybe a pal yellow

261
00:14:04.270 --> 00:14:10.530
flag i don't know um and and just trying to be aware these days and not let things gloss over me

262
00:14:10.530 --> 00:14:19.390
which i used to do like i just sing one ear out the other and not really pay attention if that

263
00:14:19.950 --> 00:14:24.430
i've mentioned to you that i'm not really i like i'd rather text more with someone i really know

264
00:14:24.430 --> 00:14:27.830
or you know enough that we can text back and forth we're still getting to know each other

265
00:14:27.870 --> 00:14:31.850
and so he mentioned something i think it was over the phone actually swearing

266
00:14:32.570 --> 00:14:39.170
and he didn't he's not cursed in front of me once um and i was really like i pretended to be offended

267
00:14:39.170 --> 00:14:42.970
like he said he didn't even say the word and i was like i have this thing i said it in french

268
00:14:42.970 --> 00:14:48.110
anywhere like killer you know i was just being funny and he said um something about swearing i

269
00:14:48.110 --> 00:14:53.050
said oh i didn't know you swore and he said um and he actually responded as a general man he

270
00:14:53.050 --> 00:14:57.710
didn't actually you know he was like he basically said of course yes he does swear but he didn't

271
00:14:59.030 --> 00:14:59.590
push it

272
00:15:00.900 --> 00:15:03.360
it was just like, you know, some people swear.

273
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:06.320
But one thing, again, it's not like I'm,

274
00:15:06.620 --> 00:15:08.460
this is for marriage and I know people can change

275
00:15:08.460 --> 00:15:10.020
and I'm not trying to change them.

276
00:15:10.280 --> 00:15:14.380
And I just, well, you know, people swear, you know,

277
00:15:14.380 --> 00:15:15.160
it's like that.

278
00:15:15.180 --> 00:15:16.780
So I'm just raising it to you.

279
00:15:16.920 --> 00:15:18.660
Again, it might just be me not being well

280
00:15:18.680 --> 00:15:22.020
and just trying to pick fault and find problems

281
00:15:22.880 --> 00:15:23.880
for an excuse.

282
00:15:24.820 --> 00:15:27.340
So, you know, but anyway, that's what it is.

283
00:15:27.460 --> 00:15:28.660
And that's it really.

284
00:15:29.500 --> 00:15:30.720
What else is there?

285
00:15:31.460 --> 00:15:32.680
The date their friend guy.

286
00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:36.140
I haven't heard back, texted him back

287
00:15:36.300 --> 00:15:39.300
because I don't like being asked out to go out by text.

288
00:15:39.920 --> 00:15:41.220
Especially if you haven't spoken in months.

289
00:15:41.800 --> 00:15:42.880
Like, no, call me.

290
00:15:43.040 --> 00:15:43.780
That's how I am.

291
00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:44.800
That's just me.

292
00:15:44.900 --> 00:15:46.440
And I have asked you for guidance on that.

293
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.920
But with this particular person,

294
00:15:47.920 --> 00:15:49.900
I found a good response to me at least.

295
00:15:50.020 --> 00:15:51.720
It was, you know, feel free to call me.

296
00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:52.700
I've been unwell.

297
00:15:52.780 --> 00:15:54.760
I haven't responded so soon because I'm not well,

298
00:15:54.800 --> 00:15:55.600
you know, still recovering.

299
00:15:55.940 --> 00:15:57.840
But feel free to call me and we can discuss.

300
00:15:57.840 --> 00:15:59.740
That's why I texted back.

301
00:15:59.900 --> 00:16:00.840
And then I haven't heard back.

302
00:16:00.940 --> 00:16:01.420
I'm not bothered.

303
00:16:02.340 --> 00:16:04.840
But I've just, yeah, that's my kind of download for you.

304
00:16:05.700 --> 00:16:09.720
I think I like, well, I like Mr. Man, man, man.

305
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:12.500
I do.

306
00:16:12.980 --> 00:16:16.020
And I also know that he has traits

307
00:16:16.020 --> 00:16:17.760
that I am typically attracted to

308
00:16:17.760 --> 00:16:19.580
or have been for your heart work.

309
00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:21.680
So that's why I'm on my go.

310
00:16:21.680 --> 00:16:23.940
Maybe that's why I'm on my go and I'm trying to pick fault.

311
00:16:24.640 --> 00:16:25.700
But he's a good person.

312
00:16:25.780 --> 00:16:27.480
He's not been, you know, in any way mean.

313
00:16:27.480 --> 00:16:30.180
He doesn't speak ill of his children's mother.

314
00:16:30.400 --> 00:16:33.100
He's, you know, he's doing the right things

315
00:16:33.460 --> 00:16:36.080
or, you know, mature, marriage-minded, masculine,

316
00:16:36.560 --> 00:16:38.500
which I'm learning from you and Carla too.

317
00:16:38.940 --> 00:16:39.780
So, yeah.

318
00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:40.400
Yeah.

319
00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:45.180
Well, I think that you were kind of asking the thoughts

320
00:16:45.180 --> 00:16:47.400
about the couple of things that you didn't notice.

321
00:16:47.900 --> 00:16:49.100
And I just think that they,

322
00:16:50.600 --> 00:16:52.980
oh, you just get into Noah, like you said.

323
00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:55.440
And it's really no big deal.

324
00:16:56.340 --> 00:16:56.900
Yeah.

325
00:16:57.620 --> 00:17:00.200
Just because of the stage that you're at.

326
00:17:00.780 --> 00:17:00.980
Right.

327
00:17:01.980 --> 00:17:05.460
If there were things that weren't in alignment

328
00:17:05.460 --> 00:17:07.140
as you take your time,

329
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:09.260
those things will present themselves.

330
00:17:09.780 --> 00:17:12.640
As long as you are paced within yourself,

331
00:17:12.900 --> 00:17:14.859
then there's no concern.

332
00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:17.980
And you are paced and you are dating others.

333
00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:20.740
And so I think that is fine.

334
00:17:21.500 --> 00:17:22.260
Awesome. Thank you.

335
00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:24.240
And I know, you know, I found it really interesting

336
00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:28.380
that as you mentioned pacing with me,

337
00:17:29.080 --> 00:17:30.240
that it paced itself.

338
00:17:30.460 --> 00:17:31.080
I love that.

339
00:17:31.180 --> 00:17:33.540
So it's just kind of a way my life seems to work

340
00:17:34.060 --> 00:17:36.220
where, you know, if I want something to happen,

341
00:17:36.280 --> 00:17:37.020
it will just happen

342
00:17:37.340 --> 00:17:39.700
without me having to make a comment about it

343
00:17:39.700 --> 00:17:40.020
or whatever.

344
00:17:40.300 --> 00:17:41.640
And it, you know, last week,

345
00:17:41.660 --> 00:17:43.260
we didn't see each other for the first weekend

346
00:17:43.260 --> 00:17:45.640
because he was doing his thing and I was recovering.

347
00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.980
And so I like that, but I'm also,

348
00:17:48.260 --> 00:17:49.260
I don't know why I'm bothered.

349
00:17:50.100 --> 00:17:53.040
Like bothered, like, this is probably a few, you know,

350
00:17:53.040 --> 00:17:53.780
I didn't want to see him

351
00:17:53.780 --> 00:17:55.900
or I didn't want to have to say it to him.

352
00:17:56.220 --> 00:17:57.100
If that makes sense.

353
00:17:57.880 --> 00:17:58.840
Anyway, yeah.

354
00:17:59.260 --> 00:18:00.620
So there we are.

355
00:18:00.800 --> 00:18:01.100
Thank you.

356
00:18:01.700 --> 00:18:02.420
Thank you, Dee.

357
00:18:02.420 --> 00:18:03.220
It's a good update.

358
00:18:03.280 --> 00:18:04.360
I'm happy for you.

359
00:18:04.520 --> 00:18:05.300
I appreciate it.

360
00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:06.080
Thank you.

361
00:18:06.320 --> 00:18:06.920
You're welcome.

362
00:18:08.800 --> 00:18:09.280
Joanne.

363
00:18:12.220 --> 00:18:12.700
Hi.

364
00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:14.160
Hey.

365
00:18:15.300 --> 00:18:18.740
Yeah, I have some really encouraging news

366
00:18:18.740 --> 00:18:20.880
and some discouraging and encouraging.

367
00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:22.600
So I found on my mom.

368
00:18:23.560 --> 00:18:25.300
Is that what's found on my mom?

369
00:18:25.780 --> 00:18:25.980
Oh, I'm sorry.

370
00:18:26.140 --> 00:18:26.840
Oh, that's okay.

371
00:18:26.840 --> 00:18:28.180
We'll be inviting to the White House very soon.

372
00:18:28.320 --> 00:18:28.940
Give me a second.

373
00:18:34.820 --> 00:18:37.160
Yeah, go ahead and unmute yourself, Joanne.

374
00:18:39.900 --> 00:18:40.460
Okay.

375
00:18:42.140 --> 00:18:45.240
So then discouraging news is that my mom

376
00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:47.960
has lung cancer, I think.

377
00:18:48.500 --> 00:18:48.780
Oh, no.

378
00:18:49.300 --> 00:18:51.040
Yeah, it's really disturbing

379
00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:53.820
because I don't have the best relationship with my mom,

380
00:18:54.600 --> 00:18:56.040
but like, I really love my mom.

381
00:18:56.060 --> 00:18:57.580
So it's bringing up a lot of emotions.

382
00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:02.220
And yesterday I was very emotional about different things.

383
00:19:02.300 --> 00:19:05.360
I think it's just different triggers are coming up.

384
00:19:05.660 --> 00:19:10.200
And like, I was kind of like feeling really stressed

385
00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:14.300
talking to Tim, not because anything bad on his end.

386
00:19:14.300 --> 00:19:15.380
It was just more like,

387
00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:18.720
I don't even know how to navigate dating

388
00:19:19.060 --> 00:19:20.880
and like being authentic.

389
00:19:21.520 --> 00:19:24.180
But then like, I don't, I wanna cry.

390
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:26.940
Like, I was crying yesterday.

391
00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:29.640
And I was just like,

392
00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:31.480
I don't know how to navigate this with him.

393
00:19:32.580 --> 00:19:35.660
And then we talked on the phone

394
00:19:35.660 --> 00:19:37.840
and it was like so incredibly good

395
00:19:39.060 --> 00:19:42.940
because I didn't know what to articulate or what to say,

396
00:19:42.940 --> 00:19:45.860
like to tell him like where I was at.

397
00:19:46.800 --> 00:19:51.320
And he was so like understanding and was like,

398
00:19:51.620 --> 00:19:55.160
and I told, I started crying and I told him like,

399
00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:56.780
I really don't have my,

400
00:19:56.980 --> 00:19:58.060
I don't really don't have it together.

401
00:19:58.140 --> 00:19:59.980
And I guess my friends.

402
00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:07.580
I've told me like you you you look like you always have your stuff together and you're always like have your ducks in a row

403
00:20:08.060 --> 00:20:10.220
so I think it was good for me to like

404
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:13.480
Actually, I end up crying

405
00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:14.840
I didn't want to but I was like

406
00:20:14.840 --> 00:20:20.440
I just feel I don't feel strong and I don't know how to navigate and I just don't have my stuff together

407
00:20:20.540 --> 00:20:25.360
And he is like that's totally okay. And I was like, I don't actually don't like dating

408
00:20:25.360 --> 00:20:32.040
Like I told my second time I've told I don't like dating because this is so it feels so unstable

409
00:20:33.660 --> 00:20:37.420
Like people coming in and out of my life, you know, I lost my dad to cancer now

410
00:20:37.420 --> 00:20:42.760
I'm like, oh gosh, I could be losing my mom to cancer anytime. I don't know when and it brings up like

411
00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:46.960
Abandonment stuff which I will talk to my therapist about

412
00:20:47.820 --> 00:20:54.140
Just like man. I don't want to be left alone with no family and I really want to be married

413
00:20:54.140 --> 00:20:57.220
My mom's want to be married wanted me to be married forever

414
00:20:57.540 --> 00:21:02.960
For 20 some years and I would love for my mom to see me get married before she goes

415
00:21:03.540 --> 00:21:04.740
Away, you know

416
00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:06.020
so

417
00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:07.760
I

418
00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:13.780
Was just so impressed so Ebony because he was so like Joanne. I don't whatever you need

419
00:21:14.120 --> 00:21:15.980
I will be there for you

420
00:21:15.980 --> 00:21:20.960
Like if you don't if it means like we don't date we're just hanging out as friends

421
00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:26.980
Whatever it is that you need and then I ended up kind of DTR in with him because I'm like, well, I don't know

422
00:21:26.980 --> 00:21:27.940
What do you want?

423
00:21:27.980 --> 00:21:28.220
right

424
00:21:28.220 --> 00:21:34.300
because I don't know what he feels and so it was kind of healing because I feel like I tend to be too much too

425
00:21:34.520 --> 00:21:40.660
Soon and like kind of intense for a guy, but it seems like he didn't even think that

426
00:21:41.420 --> 00:21:48.480
He was just like no, whatever you need. Tell me what you need. And I was like, oh I could use encouragement

427
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:51.480
I'm he loves to feed me, right?

428
00:21:52.180 --> 00:21:57.840
And so I'm like actually right now I could really just use encouragement and prayers

429
00:21:57.860 --> 00:22:01.040
and maybe I need a hug and I just need to cry and

430
00:22:03.380 --> 00:22:03.940
and

431
00:22:03.940 --> 00:22:04.500
like

432
00:22:05.220 --> 00:22:12.220
Like just checking in with me like being able to like process how I'm feeling. He's like, oh, yeah, totally

433
00:22:12.360 --> 00:22:13.220
Totally do

434
00:22:14.060 --> 00:22:21.740
And I'm like, wow, this is amazing and he even said like even if it doesn't work out Joanne like I'll be your friend

435
00:22:21.780 --> 00:22:27.000
Like that's what people are supposed to do as a body of Christ. And you know, it's so-called this guy

436
00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:33.600
I kind of was like questioning his his level of like maturity with the Lord because he's very

437
00:22:33.840 --> 00:22:37.700
Private and is kind of like doesn't want to tell people he's Christian

438
00:22:37.700 --> 00:22:45.060
But it's really showing me like there's so much treasure in him like he's not the type of guy

439
00:22:45.060 --> 00:22:51.320
I would like consider dating but I'm like, wow, like I'm actually getting really attracted to him because

440
00:22:51.640 --> 00:22:53.700
He doesn't just talk

441
00:22:54.040 --> 00:23:01.600
Talk that he doesn't just talk. He actually is showing me like well, I mean, it's very early but like

442
00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:04.360
I'm here and that's what I really need

443
00:23:04.360 --> 00:23:08.900
I was like, I don't want to go through another I don't want a date and then just

444
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:10.180
You know

445
00:23:10.300 --> 00:23:15.640
invest more and share more of my heart and what I'm going through when I'm in such a vulnerable place and that person not be

446
00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:19.120
Right. I just can't handle that with my mom and then this he's like

447
00:23:19.460 --> 00:23:23.320
You know trying to reassure me, but of course some of this is my own stuff

448
00:23:23.560 --> 00:23:29.600
So I'm seeing him right after we after we I mean, I finished the call. I'm going on another date

449
00:23:29.600 --> 00:23:31.440
I'm going on three dates with him this week

450
00:23:32.460 --> 00:23:37.100
Wow, yeah, I'm gonna go see him too. Well, he's of course he's treating me

451
00:23:37.420 --> 00:23:41.360
to dinner which is so nice to a restaurant that I've been wanting to go to and

452
00:23:42.220 --> 00:23:45.180
then I requested to like seeing more frequent and like

453
00:23:45.820 --> 00:23:48.260
Smaller chunks and like a whole day

454
00:23:48.260 --> 00:23:52.780
I'm not ready for a whole day and he's leaving to go to Taiwan for like a week and a half

455
00:23:52.860 --> 00:23:58.120
So we're just doing those things. Oh, yeah, and then I did text them and say do you want to go to this pumpkin patch?

456
00:23:58.120 --> 00:23:59.740
Let's do it and he's like, yeah, totally

457
00:23:59.740 --> 00:24:01.820
So he's like so

458
00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:06.760
accommodating and flexible and understanding that I'm like, I

459
00:24:06.760 --> 00:24:13.020
Actually think this guy is very promising. Like I I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm like I couldn't see myself

460
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:17.420
in a relationship with this guy like honestly and

461
00:24:19.100 --> 00:24:19.700
and

462
00:24:19.700 --> 00:24:21.460
he takes and he

463
00:24:21.460 --> 00:24:26.620
Implements the things that I ask him that guy tell him I really like this and he starts like doing those things

464
00:24:26.620 --> 00:24:30.560
Like that's not natural for him like he's not a words of affirmation

465
00:24:30.560 --> 00:24:33.900
I told him I really and then he starts like give me all this affirmation

466
00:24:35.100 --> 00:24:38.760
And then he's like, I don't know. It just makes me really happy

467
00:24:39.520 --> 00:24:45.100
I'm but I'm like kind of still freaked out though to be honest. Like I'm very sensitive and like at night I'm like

468
00:24:45.820 --> 00:24:50.560
Processing this and I can't really sleep and it's still I I have some anxiety around it. I'm like, oh

469
00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:56.600
You know, but I'm very like thankful. I

470
00:24:57.180 --> 00:24:59.980
Feel like God wants to clean my slate and give me a

471
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.660
new dating experience and not be like, oh, no, doom and gloom.

472
00:25:04.120 --> 00:25:06.500
This this thing is going to be pulled under me.

473
00:25:06.500 --> 00:25:08.720
The guy is going to say, no, I don't want to do this anymore.

474
00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:11.820
It's almost like he's had two people cheat on him.

475
00:25:11.820 --> 00:25:13.720
And he's used to people doing that to him.

476
00:25:14.420 --> 00:25:17.980
And I'm used to that, too, but not from cheating from just like,

477
00:25:18.120 --> 00:25:19.020
I don't want to do this anymore.

478
00:25:19.840 --> 00:25:22.500
And it's funny because we're both very like loyal people.

479
00:25:24.380 --> 00:25:26.360
So I'm like, wow, this is kind of reassuring.

480
00:25:26.460 --> 00:25:28.860
But we don't you know, we don't really know what's going to happen.

481
00:25:28.860 --> 00:25:31.860
But I'm just really thankful. I'm really thankful.

482
00:25:33.420 --> 00:25:36.600
Yeah, but it's hard because I'm like grieving about my mom

483
00:25:36.600 --> 00:25:38.440
and working through those emotions.

484
00:25:38.500 --> 00:25:41.240
And yeah, I'm like, I'm happy, but I'm scared.

485
00:25:41.260 --> 00:25:43.220
And it's just like, oh, you know.

486
00:25:45.820 --> 00:25:49.020
Yeah. I understand what you're saying, Jolene.

487
00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:52.040
We're sorry about your mom.

488
00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:55.080
Have they decided what stage she's in?

489
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:57.320
So she got a biopsy yesterday.

490
00:25:57.320 --> 00:26:01.200
So we won't know until Thursday, but she just looked really bad.

491
00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:02.860
She has mental illness already.

492
00:26:03.020 --> 00:26:05.500
She's like bipolar and OCD.

493
00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:08.580
So that's already really hard on her.

494
00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:11.720
And she's very abusive growing up.

495
00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:18.920
But yeah, I don't know what stage, but she's just been very, very like.

496
00:26:20.700 --> 00:26:22.960
Very depressed, I would say. Yeah.

497
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:26.640
Well, I'm going to be praying for her and then we're going to be praying for you.

498
00:26:28.320 --> 00:26:30.640
And we'll do that before we get off the call.

499
00:26:32.860 --> 00:26:34.500
Matter of fact, let's just do that now.

500
00:26:34.740 --> 00:26:36.200
Father God, I thank you for Jolene.

501
00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:39.940
I know that you saw this day before it came.

502
00:26:40.580 --> 00:26:44.520
And because you are the Alpha and Omega at the same time,

503
00:26:44.620 --> 00:26:47.040
you don't take a choice beginning and then the end.

504
00:26:47.060 --> 00:26:48.780
You get to be both at the same time.

505
00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:53.880
I know that you are already at this place waiting for her to arrive.

506
00:26:53.880 --> 00:26:58.040
I thank you, Father God, that you have everything that she needs.

507
00:26:58.260 --> 00:27:01.620
I thank you that this is a season where she gets to walk hand in hand with you.

508
00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:03.800
Sometimes she's going to know you as a father.

509
00:27:04.540 --> 00:27:06.280
Sometimes she's going to know you as her friend.

510
00:27:06.680 --> 00:27:09.100
In Jesus, she's going to know you as her elder brother.

511
00:27:09.320 --> 00:27:11.960
And I thank you, Holy Spirit, that you're going to show up to

512
00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:14.360
and you're going to give her wisdom and you're going to bring comfort

513
00:27:14.420 --> 00:27:19.220
and peace to her heart, her mind, all the functionings of her body.

514
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:22.800
I thank you, God, that you are good in spite of,

515
00:27:22.800 --> 00:27:25.240
that you are the one who suffers long.

516
00:27:25.460 --> 00:27:27.980
And because you suffer long, we know that we can depend on you.

517
00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:29.900
The Bible says that

518
00:27:30.580 --> 00:27:33.080
that the Lord our God is a strong tower

519
00:27:33.080 --> 00:27:35.460
and the righteous run in and we find safety.

520
00:27:35.540 --> 00:27:40.260
And so right now, Father God, I just push Joanne into your arms,

521
00:27:40.260 --> 00:27:42.840
into the place where you become her strong tower.

522
00:27:42.840 --> 00:27:46.240
And she finds the safety that she needs for her soul.

523
00:27:46.300 --> 00:27:48.200
I speak peace over her.

524
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:49.800
I speak rest over her.

525
00:27:50.020 --> 00:27:52.540
And though a lot of things are happening all one time.

526
00:27:52.540 --> 00:27:53.880
And there's a lot of emotions.

527
00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:56.380
One thing about you, God, you are steady.

528
00:27:57.520 --> 00:27:59.740
And she needs some steady.

529
00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:02.520
And so, God, I thank you for being her

530
00:28:02.520 --> 00:28:05.880
steady in this season, in Jesus name, amen.

531
00:28:07.580 --> 00:28:08.780
Yeah, thank you.

532
00:28:08.980 --> 00:28:10.540
Do you have any thoughts?

533
00:28:10.700 --> 00:28:13.120
Because sometimes I still feel like I don't.

534
00:28:13.780 --> 00:28:19.300
I don't want to, like, tell I don't I don't want to, like, ask or.

535
00:28:19.980 --> 00:28:22.440
Say too much about, like, what I prefer,

536
00:28:22.840 --> 00:28:26.800
he actually likes it for me to just tell him, like, straight up, like, he's like,

537
00:28:26.800 --> 00:28:31.000
I can't realize remember last time you said, Joanne, you kind of and I'm like,

538
00:28:31.020 --> 00:28:33.480
OK, so I just tell him directly, he really appreciates it.

539
00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:36.020
But then I'm like, am I saying too much?

540
00:28:36.540 --> 00:28:38.540
So well, Joanne, I think it's a really good

541
00:28:38.700 --> 00:28:43.380
opportunity for you to practice showing up as you.

542
00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:49.560
And so we we we you need to show up as you.

543
00:28:49.600 --> 00:28:51.640
That's why a lot of times dating can be

544
00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:54.860
such a scam because people refuse to show up as themselves.

545
00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:58.180
And it's one thing to operate in

546
00:28:58.700 --> 00:29:04.180
boundaries that guard in particular heart and boundaries that that provide for a

547
00:29:04.180 --> 00:29:08.140
healthy growth, right, their boundaries that provide for healthy growth.

548
00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:09.980
That's what we encourage.

549
00:29:10.020 --> 00:29:12.160
Those were the boundaries serve you.

550
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:15.280
Right. But it's another thing to go against.

551
00:29:16.020 --> 00:29:17.620
So so the boundaries that help you grow

552
00:29:17.620 --> 00:29:21.460
safely and then there's the freedom that you have because you have these boundaries

553
00:29:21.460 --> 00:29:25.300
in place like emotional boundaries and physical boundaries and spiritual

554
00:29:25.300 --> 00:29:27.000
boundaries that you can be free.

555
00:29:27.480 --> 00:29:31.000
And so it's time for you to show up as a person.

556
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:34.080
And not this is what I was getting to not hide behind.

557
00:29:34.220 --> 00:29:35.440
Should I do this? I shouldn't do that.

558
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:37.060
A woman shouldn't do that. A woman shouldn't be this.

559
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:38.660
A woman should be that he can't.

560
00:29:38.660 --> 00:29:40.240
Nobody can read your mind.

561
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:41.620
He's not going to read your mind.

562
00:29:41.620 --> 00:29:44.020
He showed up and he told you what to do.

563
00:29:44.380 --> 00:29:47.620
If you want something from me, say it to me.

564
00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:50.820
So he's showing up and giving you the best that he had.

565
00:29:50.980 --> 00:29:51.520
That's what he got.

566
00:29:51.980 --> 00:29:54.520
So then it's up to you if you decide you're going to show up.

567
00:29:54.660 --> 00:29:57.720
If you cross a boundary, you need to trust that this man is mature

568
00:29:57.720 --> 00:29:59.720
enough to say that that doesn't work for me.

569
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.700
And if you don't know that then you're really not getting to know the person that you say you're getting to know

570
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:12.780
Right, and it's the same way you have to give him freedom to show up and be himself and you release yourself

571
00:30:12.780 --> 00:30:15.080
You he's giving you freedom to be yourself

572
00:30:15.080 --> 00:30:16.960
I think the best way to

573
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:24.300
Understand and know a person is to just show up and be Joanne and to see and experience him and to really know him

574
00:30:25.520 --> 00:30:26.440
and so

575
00:30:26.760 --> 00:30:28.560
Just do it

576
00:30:28.560 --> 00:30:36.840
Go for it. The only thing that hinders us from being ourselves completely is a scarcity mindset or rejection or believing that we won't be

577
00:30:36.840 --> 00:30:40.020
Accepted if we show up as us. Well, then it's a no-go

578
00:30:40.040 --> 00:30:44.920
Anyway, who wants to be with somebody that doesn't choose them because you wouldn't have been chosen

579
00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:50.280
There would have been a version of Joanne that's chosen and then when you get married you want to show up as Joanne

580
00:30:50.280 --> 00:30:53.020
Well, that doesn't work. That's not right

581
00:30:54.620 --> 00:30:59.080
So if you want him to show up fully then you show up fully

582
00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:07.900
That makes sense nobody wants a version of you so just like you be like real and

583
00:31:08.540 --> 00:31:12.240
Just be me like me. I mean, I am really real but like in dating

584
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:15.420
I feel like I have to do the right things or I don't want to mess up

585
00:31:15.420 --> 00:31:21.120
I don't want to mess things up because there's all this like baggage around it, you know, and I work through I am working through

586
00:31:21.120 --> 00:31:28.860
It's just I think I know what you're saying is like show up as who you really are not like guard yourself all the time and

587
00:31:28.860 --> 00:31:35.600
Calculate this and wonder this and overanalyze and just be like, this is who I am

588
00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:37.700
Yeah

589
00:31:38.700 --> 00:31:44.780
The good and the bad not like I want to show you my bad but like this is I'm going through a hard time

590
00:31:44.780 --> 00:31:48.120
You know Joanne just like a person can be I remember one time

591
00:31:48.120 --> 00:31:52.440
I was talking to this guy and I just told the Lord. How about you? Just tell me this was my life

592
00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:57.420
Just tell me if he's the one just tell me how about we take your always just tell me he said I will not tell

593
00:31:57.540 --> 00:32:04.080
You because if I told you you're gonna start planning a wedding and you would forsake the process of getting to know this man

594
00:32:04.140 --> 00:32:10.420
He said just like a person is kind. They can be not so kind just like they're good. They can be not so good

595
00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:15.720
They're just like you and so you need to get to know a person

596
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:22.880
Because people are no different for everything. That is one thing. There's also another thing and

597
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:24.480
You need to learn how to make decisions

598
00:32:26.720 --> 00:32:28.920
And it was the most eye-opening thing

599
00:32:28.920 --> 00:32:33.880
he could have said to me because the truth is if God says this is the one you stop getting to know a person and

600
00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:36.840
Then when you get on the other side, I do you say it's the Lord's fault

601
00:32:38.120 --> 00:32:43.560
Because you refuse to get to know a person because you was too strong on getting to a wedding

602
00:32:43.560 --> 00:32:48.460
And so they say this is it yeah, you don't need to know him they your husband now

603
00:32:48.780 --> 00:32:50.460
You know, that's my wife

604
00:32:50.460 --> 00:32:56.780
It was a guy and you skip the process of getting to know a person and then you blame them for being a person

605
00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:04.880
We have to be real about the thing that people are people we are people we have shortcomings we have high points

606
00:33:04.880 --> 00:33:06.380
We will also have shortcomings

607
00:33:07.400 --> 00:33:10.280
We have areas in us that need to be cultivated

608
00:33:10.280 --> 00:33:14.360
I don't care how much you love Jesus how many times you speak in how much you prophesy

609
00:33:14.540 --> 00:33:18.500
You fall short every day of the goodness and the glory of God

610
00:33:18.540 --> 00:33:26.420
The same grace that is sufficient for you is sufficient for someone else. We all need it and

611
00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:31.240
When we seek out perfection in someone it tells us that there are areas in us

612
00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:35.760
They still need to be healed because no one is perfect in

613
00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:42.760
Marriage calls for us to cultivate one thing and somebody else that they need help with cultivating

614
00:33:43.080 --> 00:33:49.440
And so I just want you to I want to I said that to encourage you join to show up if somebody's gonna choose them

615
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:51.300
You let them choose you

616
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:58.960
It is it is it is one of the most beautiful things when you are chosen

617
00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:03.500
Everybody wants to be chosen, but you don't want to show up

618
00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:10.500
Show up so when they say I choose you anyway, oh

619
00:34:10.500 --> 00:34:12.620
My goodness I said, but I choose you anyway

620
00:34:13.260 --> 00:34:17.100
When you flap the handle and you spiral out and they say I still choose you

621
00:34:19.139 --> 00:34:21.139
That's being chosen

622
00:34:22.380 --> 00:34:24.639
Not the person who got it all together

623
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:28.420
Not none of it. Everybody wants somebody who got it all together. Of course

624
00:34:28.420 --> 00:34:32.679
Somebody who got it all together. You want to check out your little box? Yeah, perfect

625
00:34:36.100 --> 00:34:41.179
But when somebody can look at you with your junk in your mess and say I choose you anyway

626
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:46.900
That's what we call choosing

627
00:34:49.460 --> 00:34:55.139
Okay, yeah enjoy yourself and yes, it is a reality that this could not be the one

628
00:34:55.600 --> 00:34:59.920
That's a real thing like you could he could be great and you could be great and you could say oh

629
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.860
What is we got to know each other isn't the best fit so you don't have to have this in number

630
00:35:05.420 --> 00:35:07.640
Time is getting back and i'm gonna move to the next person

631
00:35:08.460 --> 00:35:12.740
You don't have to live on the edge of your seat hoping it doesn't fall apart

632
00:35:12.740 --> 00:35:18.460
How about you accept that you're on a journey and at some point you may decide that we don't serve each other best

633
00:35:18.460 --> 00:35:21.560
And it doesn't have to be for because it all crumbled and fell apart

634
00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:26.320
Like accept the fact that you don't have to live in scarcity

635
00:35:26.900 --> 00:35:31.800
And you can live in freedom and say when you're on a journey of getting to know somebody

636
00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:34.600
It's only one person you can choose for your spouse

637
00:35:35.740 --> 00:35:38.140
And i'm not going to hold on to good

638
00:35:38.140 --> 00:35:44.800
if it's the good is not meeting the level or when we as we got to know each other in the end, I pray in

639
00:35:45.100 --> 00:35:48.140
Or for whatever reasons things don't work

640
00:35:48.140 --> 00:35:51.960
You have to be willing to say it was good while it lasted. Hey, you know what?

641
00:35:51.980 --> 00:35:55.940
I finally got in a relationship where I got to know somebody where I showed up as me

642
00:35:56.320 --> 00:36:02.320
You have so much the win you look at the loss like it's great, but you have so much to gain

643
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:08.200
Losing is off the table. How are you gonna lose when you showed up as yourself?

644
00:36:09.940 --> 00:36:15.560
You know, how how can you lose when you got to to practice boundaries

645
00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:20.840
When you got to be um, I tell people all the time

646
00:36:20.840 --> 00:36:27.920
My goal for anybody that I come in contact with when they leave me they say I knew a girl named ebony one time

647
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:35.660
She was amazing she was awesome like I want to leave that type of expression with people about who I am

648
00:36:36.180 --> 00:36:42.480
In any capacity that they they once knew somebody named ebony, you know, and so that's what I work

649
00:36:42.480 --> 00:36:48.040
That's my goal when i'm getting to know people in dating in our relationship any type of connection

650
00:36:48.500 --> 00:36:49.240
and so

651
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:53.840
Let him remember joanne if joanne don't meet him at the altar

652
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:58.940
Let him have saying I knew I knew I dated a girl named joanne, man. She was a lot of fun

653
00:36:59.080 --> 00:37:01.780
She didn't mind saying what she was gonna say

654
00:37:01.780 --> 00:37:07.800
She didn't mind expressing herself if I had to choose a wife one part. I would want about a wife is something that joanne cared

655
00:37:08.520 --> 00:37:11.260
I hope the next woman I meet carries that

656
00:37:11.680 --> 00:37:14.240
You see what i'm saying? I do

657
00:37:14.460 --> 00:37:19.060
Yeah, I hope the next woman makes me feel appreciate the way joanne made me feel appreciated

658
00:37:19.240 --> 00:37:21.480
She did a really good job at that

659
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:23.920
So

660
00:37:24.580 --> 00:37:26.920
Okay, I hope i'm gonna move on

661
00:37:27.540 --> 00:37:27.800
Yeah

662
00:37:28.140 --> 00:37:32.180
Can I say one thing to encourage everybody to okay say one thing

663
00:37:32.420 --> 00:37:35.820
to be open to not date your

664
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:38.000
Someone not your type

665
00:37:38.860 --> 00:37:44.600
It's been really good for me to not date my typical person. It's working out better than

666
00:37:44.840 --> 00:37:48.940
What I think I like and what I think could work

667
00:37:49.240 --> 00:37:49.760
so

668
00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:57.200
Well, that was worth that was really good. Yeah, it's what we say all the time all the time

669
00:37:57.200 --> 00:38:01.700
Thank you. Joanne. This has been great talking to you and um, we're gonna continue praying for you

670
00:38:01.700 --> 00:38:04.140
Thank you so much and your mom. You're welcome

671
00:38:06.520 --> 00:38:07.640
um stephanie

672
00:38:08.380 --> 00:38:08.940
Davis

673
00:38:10.180 --> 00:38:10.740
Hi

674
00:38:12.700 --> 00:38:15.840
I have a question. It's not dating question per se

675
00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:20.940
So i'm a little lost i'm a little a rough time, um with

676
00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:22.560
balancing this

677
00:38:22.920 --> 00:38:29.860
And balancing the other things of life. So I I run my own business plus I work part-time on weekends

678
00:38:30.160 --> 00:38:35.820
And it's really really really hard. We're taking off now and it seems like

679
00:38:35.820 --> 00:38:38.640
I don't have any time

680
00:38:38.640 --> 00:38:44.720
I can't wait till last when i've been on the app or even even look at somebody and i'm i'm struggling with it

681
00:38:44.720 --> 00:38:47.640
you know sometimes i'm not able to make it here because

682
00:38:47.820 --> 00:38:51.020
Something comes up and you have to be working or you have meetings because sometimes

683
00:38:51.220 --> 00:38:54.800
The time difference with everybody else you have to have meetings with them

684
00:38:54.980 --> 00:38:57.760
and i'm like, I feel like i'm I feel like i'm

685
00:38:58.300 --> 00:39:03.020
I'm doing an injustice to myself and then i'm like i might go when I show up for somebody

686
00:39:03.580 --> 00:39:06.420
Because of all this is going on. How is that gonna look?

687
00:39:06.420 --> 00:39:11.600
So, you know, what advice could you give me to kind of like how to kind of balance this?

688
00:39:12.520 --> 00:39:13.600
a little bit

689
00:39:13.600 --> 00:39:21.020
Yeah, um in those seasons come stephanie, um, because there were a season where you had more capacity for this, right?

690
00:39:21.440 --> 00:39:24.480
You were able to post more you were able to entertain more

691
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:29.540
And it seems like you've come up on the season where that is not your availability to do that

692
00:39:29.840 --> 00:39:31.920
And I know you're asking for balance

693
00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:37.320
But one way we find balance and it brings peace within ourselves is to recognize what season we're in

694
00:39:37.620 --> 00:39:42.440
When you recognize what season you in you don't spend your time battling like I wish I had more time

695
00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:47.780
You actually look at the time you have and say I can allot this much time to this

696
00:39:47.820 --> 00:39:52.180
Because of the season that i'm in and i'm willing to accept that

697
00:39:52.200 --> 00:39:59.120
Because I know that in a little while this season will switch over and change and maybe I could give more time to it

698
00:39:59.280 --> 00:39:59.840
automatically

699
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.180
When we say yes to one thing, no becomes the choice

700
00:40:04.180 --> 00:40:05.340
for something else, right?

701
00:40:05.680 --> 00:40:09.220
If once you give yes to one, everything else becomes a no

702
00:40:09.220 --> 00:40:13.620
and knowing what to give our yeses to help to serve us best.

703
00:40:13.980 --> 00:40:17.300
And so it seems like, so I would lay out

704
00:40:17.300 --> 00:40:19.180
and see what I give my yes to

705
00:40:19.180 --> 00:40:21.820
and what it automatically renders a no to.

706
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:25.620
And then out of all your busyness,

707
00:40:25.700 --> 00:40:28.120
there is a time that you have,

708
00:40:28.120 --> 00:40:32.080
once you freak, once you accept the season you're in,

709
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:36.060
you can look at your time in a more holistic perspective

710
00:40:36.060 --> 00:40:38.260
and say, oh, I do have this little pocket

711
00:40:38.260 --> 00:40:39.260
of time right here.

712
00:40:39.380 --> 00:40:42.380
I can commit this time to that.

713
00:40:42.620 --> 00:40:43.520
Is that possible?

714
00:40:47.160 --> 00:40:47.720
Yes.

715
00:40:48.860 --> 00:40:49.140
Yeah?

716
00:40:49.380 --> 00:40:51.640
Yeah, yeah, that actually makes sense.

717
00:40:51.720 --> 00:40:55.220
So it just basically like put on everything that I'm doing

718
00:40:55.220 --> 00:40:58.640
and able to commit to what is important to me.

719
00:40:58.660 --> 00:40:59.900
Cause this is important to me.

720
00:40:59.980 --> 00:41:03.560
And I felt like I was just, I felt really bad about it

721
00:41:03.560 --> 00:41:04.740
cause it is important.

722
00:41:04.920 --> 00:41:06.740
Cause I've been praying about it

723
00:41:06.740 --> 00:41:08.900
and then you're doing the class

724
00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:11.000
and then now all of a sudden everything else

725
00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:12.700
I want is just started to take off

726
00:41:12.700 --> 00:41:15.160
and you're like, oh my God, it's only me by myself.

727
00:41:15.540 --> 00:41:16.880
I would find myself and I said,

728
00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:18.780
God, you need to send a guy, hurry and send a guy.

729
00:41:19.020 --> 00:41:20.340
I need help, help.

730
00:41:20.500 --> 00:41:21.880
I need help here, but you know.

731
00:41:22.560 --> 00:41:23.000
Yeah.

732
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:26.100
Yeah, I think that, I think it's okay

733
00:41:26.100 --> 00:41:28.300
in seasons of our lives to let the first things

734
00:41:28.300 --> 00:41:29.260
be first things.

735
00:41:29.840 --> 00:41:32.140
I do that all the time.

736
00:41:32.460 --> 00:41:37.120
I have to rearrange all the time and I'm thankful.

737
00:41:37.340 --> 00:41:40.000
I do it and I do it with a happy heart

738
00:41:40.860 --> 00:41:44.440
because I understand and I want you guys to understand

739
00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:47.720
that your time won't always be your own in this way

740
00:41:47.720 --> 00:41:49.460
because one day you're gonna be married.

741
00:41:49.820 --> 00:41:51.340
That's what we believe for you.

742
00:41:51.340 --> 00:41:52.800
And that's what we've seen God do.

743
00:41:53.060 --> 00:41:55.520
And we decided it's not gonna stop now.

744
00:41:56.280 --> 00:41:59.580
And so one day you won't have all this free time

745
00:41:59.580 --> 00:42:01.400
to organize it the way that you want

746
00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:02.500
because you will be married

747
00:42:02.500 --> 00:42:04.020
and you will have some cares going

748
00:42:04.020 --> 00:42:05.120
into some different directions

749
00:42:05.120 --> 00:42:07.380
that you won't be able to change around so much.

750
00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:12.640
And so enjoy your season of the journey to your love story

751
00:42:12.640 --> 00:42:14.980
because once it's gone, it's not coming back.

752
00:42:16.900 --> 00:42:18.900
That it's not, it's not coming back.

753
00:42:19.240 --> 00:42:21.120
So you don't even have to wish it away.

754
00:42:21.120 --> 00:42:23.520
Just skip your way right on through.

755
00:42:24.420 --> 00:42:27.040
And sometimes take a couple of seats if you need to.

756
00:42:30.640 --> 00:42:31.760
Yeah, okay.

757
00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:33.640
Is that it, Stephanie?

758
00:42:35.880 --> 00:42:38.080
Unless you're gonna tell me how I can get

759
00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:40.560
an Amazon husband, but that's it.

760
00:42:40.560 --> 00:42:42.120
Come on, Amazon husband.

761
00:42:42.220 --> 00:42:42.760
I know.

762
00:42:43.300 --> 00:42:46.700
We need to rain down some men around here.

763
00:42:46.700 --> 00:42:47.200
Okay.

764
00:42:48.640 --> 00:42:51.000
Signed, sealed, and delivered.

765
00:42:53.080 --> 00:42:54.400
Sarah J.

766
00:42:55.180 --> 00:42:55.940
Sarah J.

767
00:42:55.940 --> 00:42:57.500
Why did I put Sarah J?

768
00:42:57.860 --> 00:42:59.100
It's Sarah W.

769
00:42:59.880 --> 00:43:01.720
Yes, it's Sarah W.

770
00:43:04.660 --> 00:43:05.240
Yes.

771
00:43:05.520 --> 00:43:06.000
Sorry.

772
00:43:08.220 --> 00:43:12.920
Yeah, so I started phase two a week ago.

773
00:43:14.820 --> 00:43:16.160
I think it was, yeah, a week ago.

774
00:43:17.160 --> 00:43:18.840
Back on the dating apps and everything,

775
00:43:18.940 --> 00:43:20.500
which I was on before the heart work.

776
00:43:22.020 --> 00:43:23.100
But I don't know.

777
00:43:23.720 --> 00:43:25.660
In hearing everybody talk tonight,

778
00:43:26.680 --> 00:43:29.000
I'm just, a lot of things,

779
00:43:31.520 --> 00:43:33.360
kinda, I can't think of the right word.

780
00:43:35.100 --> 00:43:37.740
I just related to a lot of things people were saying

781
00:43:38.420 --> 00:43:42.800
about not, trying to not find fault in everyone.

782
00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:46.460
I'm having a really hard time opening up

783
00:43:46.460 --> 00:43:48.640
to just dating for the experience

784
00:43:48.940 --> 00:43:53.100
and not immediately finding fault in all these guys.

785
00:43:55.560 --> 00:43:59.080
But everything you just said a minute ago of like,

786
00:43:59.080 --> 00:44:00.460
it's not like we're perfect either.

787
00:44:01.660 --> 00:44:03.940
So anyway, I'm just struggling with that.

788
00:44:04.860 --> 00:44:07.520
The dating apps are just a little disheartening,

789
00:44:07.660 --> 00:44:09.220
even though they're not anything new to me.

790
00:44:09.820 --> 00:44:15.180
It's just kinda losing some hope this time.

791
00:44:15.280 --> 00:44:16.880
I was so excited to get back on them,

792
00:44:16.920 --> 00:44:20.380
and now I'm like, oh man, it's just not,

793
00:44:21.260 --> 00:44:23.040
nothing's going anywhere yet, I guess I should say.

794
00:44:24.240 --> 00:44:26.480
Yeah, you know, dating apps will do that to you.

795
00:44:26.640 --> 00:44:28.480
You'll get yourself all boosted up,

796
00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:31.260
get you some pretty pictures, do your profile,

797
00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:32.380
and you know what I mean?

798
00:44:32.600 --> 00:44:32.600


799
00:44:33.460 --> 00:44:37.500
Like, and then it's like the crazy looking men

800
00:44:37.500 --> 00:44:40.740
you try to talk to, and like, what is something I,

801
00:44:41.260 --> 00:44:43.560
what is something I said or did?

802
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:46.620
You're my father's age, yeah.

803
00:44:48.920 --> 00:44:54.160
So listen, I know that all of us have had this experience

804
00:44:54.160 --> 00:44:57.100
with dating apps, and sometimes they can be so disappointing

805
00:44:57.100 --> 00:44:59.340
and sometimes I just have to take it out the phone

806
00:44:59.340 --> 00:44:59.980
and be like, this is so disappointing.

807
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.600
don't even worry about it and regroup and come back and talk to community and look around and

808
00:45:07.600 --> 00:45:13.720
go to Home Depot seeking out find a man that fit my taste. That's not a bad idea. You should go

809
00:45:13.660 --> 00:45:18.200
Sarah. A lot of people meet there. It's a lot of men to choose from. Take a friend with you. Let

810
00:45:18.200 --> 00:45:23.360
them be your wing women and they go up and talk for you and you go up and talk for them. I love

811
00:45:24.080 --> 00:45:30.560
it. I do it all the time with my community. We're each other's wing women. Wing women. Anyway,

812
00:45:30.720 --> 00:45:37.740
it's something else I wanted to address that you said before the dating. You said, yeah,

813
00:45:38.780 --> 00:45:43.660
just hard. Did you say, you know, kind of a challenge that's convincing yourself to do

814
00:45:43.660 --> 00:45:50.560
what now? What were you saying? It was something I read. Just to I'm having a hard time.

815
00:45:50.560 --> 00:45:58.380
I'm dating for Discovery. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I think that I've had to be honest with you. Most

816
00:45:58.380 --> 00:46:05.020
all people have an issue with dating for Discovery. Seems like it a very I had an

817
00:46:05.020 --> 00:46:11.540
issue with dating for Discovery. And I think a lot of the pushback comes from within comes within

818
00:46:11.540 --> 00:46:16.440
we programmed ourselves with certain laws that you may be unaware of like it has become a law

819
00:46:16.440 --> 00:46:20.980
within you. So certain things like I'm not going to ask a man on a date. He should be pursuing me.

820
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:27.040
You don't do that. Oh, I like him. Like it just happens in your mind or why would I date for

821
00:46:27.040 --> 00:46:32.960
Discovery? God has promised me a spouse. I'm dating for marriage. Yeah. And so what happens

822
00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:37.420
is this what starts to come up because you've been believing God for a spouse. I'm believing.

823
00:46:37.680 --> 00:46:44.820
So why am I going out here to discover, discover what I'm discovering my spouse. And so what

824
00:46:44.820 --> 00:46:49.880
happens is then when you get into the program and the and, you know, Jack has designed it so wonderfully.

825
00:46:50.020 --> 00:46:55.540
He says, well, let's date to discover the understanding behind that is and this may help

826
00:46:55.540 --> 00:47:00.440
even though you may have heard it. I had to hear it several times before it hit me. I actually had

827
00:47:00.440 --> 00:47:07.920
to go on the first date for it to hit me. Nothing triggers you the way a man would trigger you.

828
00:47:08.560 --> 00:47:15.980
Yeah, in a dating aspect. And what happens is we want to get to marriage. We want marriage.

829
00:47:16.100 --> 00:47:20.400
But a lot of times we don't have the capacity for marriage. You just don't know it because you've

830
00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:24.560
been living your fantasy for so long. Now, I've been married before, so I know it.

831
00:47:25.900 --> 00:47:32.640
I already know what's on the other side. Right. And so what happens is you start dating and you

832
00:47:32.860 --> 00:47:38.420
discover things about yourself. Like there's so many women who they don't even know. And I've had

833
00:47:38.420 --> 00:47:43.920
this so many times, like they don't even know what to tell a person, a man they like. Yeah. I don't

834
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:48.520
know what I like, but you're talking to your friend girls all the time. You don't know that you don't

835
00:47:48.520 --> 00:47:54.700
know what you like. Yeah. Man says or the thought of rejection that rises up in you or the thought

836
00:47:55.380 --> 00:47:59.180
of abandonment that comes in you. You don't think you don't feel abandoned when your friends get

837
00:47:59.180 --> 00:48:06.620
mad at you. You go out and be like, whatever. But you like a man in the thought that once you like him,

838
00:48:06.660 --> 00:48:12.100
that you could be abandoned. Yeah. You're in a state of fear. Like you didn't know that these

839
00:48:12.100 --> 00:48:15.300
things were happening or the fact that he said that, but I really want to say something, but I

840
00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:20.760
didn't say anything. Why? Why can't you practice your boundaries? But all of these things that you

841
00:48:20.760 --> 00:48:25.140
need in marriage, because we had this idea that when we get married, I don't know this idea that

842
00:48:25.140 --> 00:48:29.460
things are going to be perfect, that you're going to do just right. And that's not true.

843
00:48:30.900 --> 00:48:39.360
Right. And so when you start dating, it helps you develop and it really does. And it helps you see

844
00:48:39.360 --> 00:48:45.820
things much more clearly about who you are more than anything. It helps you assert your worth and

845
00:48:45.580 --> 00:48:52.720
value. And you find out how scarce your mindset may actually be because for so long, you may

846
00:48:52.720 --> 00:48:58.720
think it ain't no kingdom men. They're no men of God. That is what I'm thinking right now on these

847
00:48:58.800 --> 00:49:07.580
apps. I'm like, anybody go to church? I know. And then you meet a man who, who is, he goes to church

848
00:49:07.580 --> 00:49:13.640
and you know, this is your first few days. He loves the Lord and he's this and he's that. And

849
00:49:13.640 --> 00:49:19.200
you'll be amazed at how you don't even take time to observe this man. You married him in a week in

850
00:49:19.200 --> 00:49:25.160
your mind. And it all was birthed from a scarcity mindset. Because if you had to look at your own

851
00:49:25.160 --> 00:49:30.700
journey with the Lord, you would evaluate your own life and determine that people have to grow

852
00:49:30.720 --> 00:49:37.020
in God. Yeah. Just because you love the Lord, you still fall short in some areas and it will be you,

853
00:49:37.300 --> 00:49:43.760
it will be of high importance to be a fruit inspector instead of what someone tells you.

854
00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:51.020
And that's not being nervous. It's being real because you know, your own life. Yep. But you

855
00:49:51.020 --> 00:49:57.660
don't really know that that part of you kind of lives there. Yeah, no, you're right. Loring. Yeah.

856
00:49:57.840 --> 00:49:59.980
And so I get it. I know why they're

857
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.060
of things that come up in us that we don't know that they're just living there. And so I always

858
00:50:05.060 --> 00:50:10.220
encourage you to challenge your thought processes. I challenge you. Why did you think like that? Why

859
00:50:10.220 --> 00:50:15.420
did you just feel that way? Instead of saying, no, they did this. It's like, but why did I respond

860
00:50:15.420 --> 00:50:24.620
that way? What happened to me? And so I hope that brings some clarity. Nobody wants to set

861
00:50:24.620 --> 00:50:27.960
themselves up to be rejected. A lot of times women say, well, I don't want to be on no app

862
00:50:27.960 --> 00:50:33.120
and somebody looking at me, judging me. Yeah. Well, what's that about? What is that about?

863
00:50:33.200 --> 00:50:38.960
What do you mean somebody judging you? Yeah. Like, could they pass you up? You do know that

864
00:50:39.100 --> 00:50:45.720
like you just might not be that type. It's really possible with the other million women in the world.

865
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:52.140
But you pass, we pass up men all the time. We be like, oh God, no. We actually have the

866
00:50:52.140 --> 00:51:03.120
access to talk to them. Do you have a camera set up in my house?

867
00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:09.360
I do it all the time. And I'm like, baby, you didn't even ask to talk to you.

868
00:51:11.880 --> 00:51:15.560
I do have a question though, when you, when you talked about asking why

869
00:51:16.100 --> 00:51:19.940
you react to certain, ask yourself why you react a certain way. So

870
00:51:20.580 --> 00:51:25.160
I have a close friend who twice now, and one was like two weekends ago,

871
00:51:26.220 --> 00:51:33.080
she's watched me interact with, you know, other single guys. And she's like, you're really mean

872
00:51:33.260 --> 00:51:42.400
to men. And she's asking me why. And I'm like, I, you know, I, I'm sure I have some guesses, but

873
00:51:43.060 --> 00:51:48.280
I don't know. I don't realize I'm doing it in the moment. I'm sure it's self defense somehow

874
00:51:48.780 --> 00:51:54.580
against rejection probably, but I'm like, how do I stop and catch myself and not,

875
00:51:54.620 --> 00:51:59.500
not be so mean? I didn't realize I was being mean. Yeah. It's so good when we have people that can

876
00:51:59.620 --> 00:52:05.200
observe us because people see what we don't see. And it's a real thing. And a woman can switch up

877
00:52:05.200 --> 00:52:09.080
in a heartbeat. It's kind of like you're on this coaching, right? You're in this program,

878
00:52:09.400 --> 00:52:15.680
you go in the grocery store and you look like, don't look at me. Don't look at me. I've seen

879
00:52:15.680 --> 00:52:20.340
a man, but they walk through the store fast as they can. Don't look at me. They carry it. Don't

880
00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:27.760
look at me. And then you go back to the Lord. Where's my husband? I believe in you. I'm tired

881
00:52:27.760 --> 00:52:32.880
of this journey. So why are you going through the grocery store? Like I'm 200 with your little car.

882
00:52:33.020 --> 00:52:42.180
Don't look at me. It don't line up. People don't line up. That's me. Yep. That's me.

883
00:52:42.180 --> 00:52:48.640
So it's a protection and it's not wanting to be rejected. It is a defense. And the way you do it

884
00:52:48.640 --> 00:52:53.340
is, you know, the way you're bent because someone brought it to your attention. I believe that the

885
00:52:53.440 --> 00:53:00.060
Lord reveals to redeem and restore. And so by that being revealed to you, because you're on a journey

886
00:53:00.060 --> 00:53:04.780
with heaven to the spirit mate for the love story he has for you, what he starts doing is shedding

887
00:53:04.780 --> 00:53:10.320
stuff away. So you want a fantasy. We want Cinderella. We want somebody to poop us up in

888
00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:15.380
two weeks. Give me the love story. I have and God says, you want kingdom? Oh, you want what I have?

889
00:53:15.720 --> 00:53:22.380
Let's go. I want you to have the best two in the best parts with you. So let's start shedding some

890
00:53:22.380 --> 00:53:26.540
of this stuff away. Yep. Let me shave out some of these things. And I think your friend saying

891
00:53:26.540 --> 00:53:30.880
that was a shaving away. And so what do you do when that happens? Because we know that God reveals

892
00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:37.120
to redeem and restore. When you get in those situations, you remind yourself of what someone

893
00:53:37.120 --> 00:53:42.680
told you of how you act and you turn yourself the other way. You bend in a different direction.

894
00:53:43.200 --> 00:53:52.600
You smile. You tell yourself over and over, keep smiling. Say thank you. That sounds so simple,

895
00:53:52.740 --> 00:53:59.080
but I'm not doing it. I know I'm not. Yeah. Like go against yourself as hard as you can. I rebel

896
00:53:59.080 --> 00:54:06.580
against myself, you guys. I tell myself, I used to be an anxious attacher just because I learned

897
00:54:06.580 --> 00:54:12.760
love that way from my family doesn't mean that I am a blood bought believer. How dare I give

898
00:54:13.200 --> 00:54:19.640
somebody a toxic pattern? I refuse to give somebody a toxic pattern when I have the blood of Jesus on

899
00:54:19.640 --> 00:54:25.880
the inside of me who has loved me unconditionally. So I intentionally go against myself. Literally,

900
00:54:26.040 --> 00:54:31.800
even if it's like I'm hitting against a wall, I turn myself in the other direction. And so I do

901
00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:36.840
it in our practice, in our practice, in our practice, in our practice, because I know what

902
00:54:36.880 --> 00:54:43.200
I'm bent toward. And so I lean in the other direction. Do I get it right all the time? No,

903
00:54:43.200 --> 00:54:48.760
but I don't have to get it right all the time because the more I lean, the more I turn and I

904
00:54:48.760 --> 00:54:54.360
keep leaning a little bit more each time until I find myself in a different position with a

905
00:54:54.500 --> 00:54:58.520
perspective, being a different person. I love that.

906
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.480
I encourage you to do that, Sarah,

907
00:55:01.700 --> 00:55:04.200
because no man wants to marry a man.

908
00:55:04.800 --> 00:55:06.200
He wants a feminine woman.

909
00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:10.480
He wants a woman, and you're a woman.

910
00:55:10.860 --> 00:55:12.640
And whatever you've had to do in the past,

911
00:55:12.720 --> 00:55:14.320
you don't need those tools anymore.

912
00:55:14.440 --> 00:55:15.680
You don't need them.

913
00:55:16.080 --> 00:55:18.440
What you needed to survive, you don't need it.

914
00:55:18.460 --> 00:55:19.900
You're in your thriving season.

915
00:55:20.040 --> 00:55:22.020
And I'm telling you, you've got to put your foot

916
00:55:22.020 --> 00:55:24.020
on the devil's neck and tell him he

917
00:55:24.020 --> 00:55:26.740
won't rob you of the season that was meant for you.

918
00:55:26.780 --> 00:55:28.820
Because you are not who you used to be

919
00:55:28.820 --> 00:55:29.980
or where you used to be.

920
00:55:30.180 --> 00:55:33.600
And you need to release, because it's not the enemy doing it.

921
00:55:33.600 --> 00:55:35.260
It's you doing it to yourself if you

922
00:55:35.780 --> 00:55:37.920
refuse to release the armor that you once

923
00:55:37.920 --> 00:55:39.020
needed to protect yourself.

924
00:55:39.120 --> 00:55:40.600
You don't need that armor anymore.

925
00:55:40.660 --> 00:55:41.920
It's no good over here, Sarah.

926
00:55:41.980 --> 00:55:43.780
You know how people say your money ain't no good with me?

927
00:55:44.300 --> 00:55:47.180
That armor you once had is no good on this side of town.

928
00:55:47.720 --> 00:55:48.200
You don't need it.

929
00:55:48.220 --> 00:55:49.100
I believe it, yep.

930
00:55:49.660 --> 00:55:50.380
Thank you.

931
00:55:51.280 --> 00:55:51.840
You're welcome.

932
00:55:52.040 --> 00:55:52.280
Thank you.

933
00:55:52.280 --> 00:55:53.020
Keep us updated.

934
00:55:53.520 --> 00:55:56.640
All right, I'm going to go out on the town and smile.

935
00:55:58.820 --> 00:55:59.960
You can do it.

936
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:00.720
Thank you.

937
00:56:01.040 --> 00:56:01.780
You're welcome.

938
00:56:01.800 --> 00:56:02.100
Thanks, Ebony.

939
00:56:02.540 --> 00:56:03.060
You're welcome.

940
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:03.820
Alexandra.

941
00:56:05.220 --> 00:56:05.620
Hey.

942
00:56:06.280 --> 00:56:06.800
Hey.

943
00:56:07.620 --> 00:56:10.780
So I jumped in, I guess, two questions.

944
00:56:10.900 --> 00:56:11.920
I jumped in really quick.

945
00:56:12.060 --> 00:56:14.060
I was just super excited today.

946
00:56:14.080 --> 00:56:16.280
I'm so ready to meet my husband.

947
00:56:17.120 --> 00:56:22.640
And I've talked to so many guys this week on the dating apps.

948
00:56:23.820 --> 00:56:26.880
Which is also, I feel inside of me,

949
00:56:26.880 --> 00:56:29.820
I feel slightly dead, because all my free time,

950
00:56:29.980 --> 00:56:30.920
it's just been too much.

951
00:56:32.140 --> 00:56:33.260
So I've realized that.

952
00:56:33.280 --> 00:56:35.200
I'm like, OK, I need to take a little bit of a step back.

953
00:56:35.300 --> 00:56:36.160
I get really excited.

954
00:56:36.280 --> 00:56:37.040
And I'm like, I'm going to go.

955
00:56:37.120 --> 00:56:38.400
He's going to be here right now.

956
00:56:38.520 --> 00:56:39.420
I feel like he's.

957
00:56:39.900 --> 00:56:41.960
So I need to slow down with that.

958
00:56:42.040 --> 00:56:44.420
I think I have an anxious attachment as well,

959
00:56:45.340 --> 00:56:46.000
in general.

960
00:56:46.700 --> 00:56:49.220
So taking things slow and just getting to know people

961
00:56:49.220 --> 00:56:51.040
is definitely going to be a practice for me.

962
00:56:51.300 --> 00:56:54.420
I usually am like the, you know, like I,

963
00:56:54.420 --> 00:56:57.920
anyway, I've almost asked some pretty intense questions.

964
00:56:58.080 --> 00:56:59.800
But then I listened to Jackie's video.

965
00:56:59.880 --> 00:57:01.380
And I was like, oh, I have to wait to ask this.

966
00:57:01.400 --> 00:57:05.900
So I just have to talk to this guy and get to know him slowly.

967
00:57:05.980 --> 00:57:07.440
So that's a practice for me.

968
00:57:08.040 --> 00:57:09.640
So any advice on that, I guess.

969
00:57:09.820 --> 00:57:14.100
And then I guess I just wanted to get your feedback slash

970
00:57:14.100 --> 00:57:14.920
share with the group.

971
00:57:14.920 --> 00:57:18.080
I had this one guy kind of sweep me off my feet

972
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:19.620
already on the dating app.

973
00:57:19.980 --> 00:57:23.920
He just came in really hot with saying these things

974
00:57:23.920 --> 00:57:24.960
that a girl wants to hear.

975
00:57:25.120 --> 00:57:27.240
He was like, he was like, she's the one,

976
00:57:27.280 --> 00:57:28.780
is like his first message to me.

977
00:57:30.080 --> 00:57:31.860
And I just kind of joked back.

978
00:57:32.620 --> 00:57:34.260
But then we had a phone call.

979
00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:37.520
And he was just like ready to, he's

980
00:57:37.520 --> 00:57:39.460
like, I'm going to do whatever I need to do to make this,

981
00:57:39.820 --> 00:57:41.920
to make you, like I have to convince you to come,

982
00:57:41.960 --> 00:57:43.040
want to move out here.

983
00:57:43.080 --> 00:57:44.520
And I was like, I don't know.

984
00:57:44.940 --> 00:57:47.860
I guess I was like, I was like flattered by it.

985
00:57:47.860 --> 00:57:49.500
Because I was like, oh, he's like being intentional.

986
00:57:49.600 --> 00:57:51.000
And he really likes me.

987
00:57:52.020 --> 00:57:54.960
He did the thing on Jackie's video, just for all you women.

988
00:57:55.040 --> 00:57:56.780
I don't know if you guys have had this experience too.

989
00:57:56.920 --> 00:58:01.400
But he told me about his package size, which was not,

990
00:58:02.180 --> 00:58:05.800
he was just, he was inquiring about, because I, yeah,

991
00:58:05.800 --> 00:58:07.720
anyway, I think we probably got too deep too fast.

992
00:58:07.780 --> 00:58:10.420
But I was like, oh, I was like, you've

993
00:58:10.420 --> 00:58:13.680
lived with your past, like with your past girlfriends.

994
00:58:13.680 --> 00:58:15.740
I'm like wondering where you're at with your faith.

995
00:58:15.740 --> 00:58:17.120
Because he was very upfront about like,

996
00:58:17.120 --> 00:58:19.460
oh, I've lived with my past girlfriends.

997
00:58:19.460 --> 00:58:20.980
It just went too deep too fast.

998
00:58:20.980 --> 00:58:23.020
And then, yeah, he shared that with me.

999
00:58:23.060 --> 00:58:26.540
And I was like, oh my god, I didn't ask for that at all.

1000
00:58:27.320 --> 00:58:30.440
And now I can't get it out of my head at the same time.

1001
00:58:31.560 --> 00:58:34.980
And so that's been like kind of a temptation, honestly,

1002
00:58:34.980 --> 00:58:35.840
this week too.

1003
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:38.400
Like I feel like my mind's been kind of like,

1004
00:58:39.040 --> 00:58:41.160
not that I'm going to like pursue him.

1005
00:58:41.160 --> 00:58:44.260
I think it's been pretty clear after we took some space.

1006
00:58:44.820 --> 00:58:47.160
Like he texts me the next day, and I text him back.

1007
00:58:47.180 --> 00:58:48.480
And then he never wrote back.

1008
00:58:48.580 --> 00:58:50.620
And I never, so I don't know also

1009
00:58:50.620 --> 00:58:53.560
if I need to like respond to him and be like, you know,

1010
00:58:53.680 --> 00:58:54.760
like it was good to get to know you,

1011
00:58:54.860 --> 00:58:57.600
like just to actually close that door.

1012
00:58:58.640 --> 00:59:01.000
But yeah, anyway, just watch out for,

1013
00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:02.640
I don't even know what was going on.

1014
00:59:02.660 --> 00:59:04.140
He didn't even need to get to know me.

1015
00:59:04.200 --> 00:59:06.680
He was like, I'm ready to get you to move here.

1016
00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:07.320


1017
00:59:09.340 --> 00:59:09.720
Yeah.

1018
00:59:10.700 --> 00:59:13.940
Well, you know, he was kind of like on the verge,

1019
00:59:14.040 --> 00:59:16.200
kind of like he started off with a little love

1020
00:59:16.200 --> 00:59:18.460
for me, right, a little talk.

1021
00:59:18.700 --> 00:59:19.020
Yeah.

1022
00:59:19.020 --> 00:59:22.280
And I've had that before and I've fallen for it.

1023
00:59:22.820 --> 00:59:23.860
So scary.

1024
00:59:24.120 --> 00:59:26.620
You know, how about, let's just make this statement, ladies.

1025
00:59:27.360 --> 00:59:28.360
Love bumming feels good.

1026
00:59:28.440 --> 00:59:30.420
That's why people fall for it, right?

1027
00:59:30.600 --> 00:59:31.620
Love bumming feels good.

1028
00:59:31.700 --> 00:59:33.500
Somebody starts bumming you with love

1029
00:59:33.500 --> 00:59:36.880
and there's a deficit of you hearing how amazing you are

1030
00:59:36.880 --> 00:59:38.180
and that they desire you.

1031
00:59:38.700 --> 00:59:39.600
Women want to be chosen.

1032
00:59:39.860 --> 00:59:42.020
We're in a position to be chosen, right?

1033
00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:44.860
But you're also in a position to choose

1034
00:59:44.860 --> 00:59:46.380
what you want for your future.

1035
00:59:46.380 --> 00:59:50.680
So what I'm saying is love bumming is a real thing.

1036
00:59:50.680 --> 00:59:54.260
And so that's why we work to solidify our identity

1037
00:59:54.260 --> 00:59:56.080
and our worth and our value.

1038
00:59:56.200 --> 00:59:58.500
So that when someone comes along with all

1039
00:59:58.500 --> 00:59:59.980
of their wonderful compliments.

1040
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.860
about us. It actually adds an amen to what we agree about ourselves and we can actually take

1041
01:00:05.860 --> 01:00:12.080
it as a compliment. But when men come in heavy like that, they just kind of come in heavy like

1042
01:00:12.080 --> 01:00:18.700
that and you have to recognize and be like, oh, okay, I see what you're doing. Just like you did,

1043
01:00:18.780 --> 01:00:27.260
like you noticed, like, okay, that comment is not in order, right? One thing I do want to say is

1044
01:00:28.020 --> 01:00:33.300
you said, should you respond back to him? If you want to practice closing things out,

1045
01:00:34.340 --> 01:00:38.920
you can do that. So this is a really great person to practice with because it's very low stakes. He

1046
01:00:38.920 --> 01:00:43.500
hadn't even responded back to you, right? So you could just be like, oh, you don't have to say

1047
01:00:43.500 --> 01:00:48.160
anything else and let it ride out like that. You can do that. If you wanted to practice saying,

1048
01:00:48.260 --> 01:00:51.680
it was great getting to know you. I know we haven't texted in a while, but I like to close

1049
01:00:51.680 --> 01:00:58.660
things out well. And so this is my goodbye. Like you can do that. And then you can immediately

1050
01:00:58.660 --> 01:01:02.440
block him after that. So you won't have to deal with any conversation that he'll have coming back

1051
01:01:02.440 --> 01:01:06.600
to you. But at least you'll get that little practicing if you would like to do that.

1052
01:01:06.780 --> 01:01:13.860
But if not, you could just let it ride the way it is. And recognize that things went really fast,

1053
01:01:14.020 --> 01:01:17.720
really quickly. Like that's something that could happen. And it's a good thing it was just over

1054
01:01:17.720 --> 01:01:25.780
app or nothing upfront and personal that it cost you anything too much, right?

1055
01:01:25.900 --> 01:01:32.660
Yeah. I've been in a short term dating relationship before where I was love bombed. So I don't know.

1056
01:01:33.480 --> 01:01:38.920
I don't know. I'm like, is that a sign that I just... I know I struggle with worth and things

1057
01:01:38.920 --> 01:01:46.680
like that, but I don't know. I just think it's kind of interesting. It makes me scared because

1058
01:01:46.680 --> 01:01:56.220
I don't want to fall susceptible to that again because it can become very abusive very quickly.

1059
01:01:57.240 --> 01:02:01.480
Well, I don't think you have to be afraid that you'll fall for love bombing again. When you

1060
01:02:01.500 --> 01:02:08.180
recognize it, you make decisions. Good night, Karen. Sleep well. Thank you. You make decisions

1061
01:02:08.240 --> 01:02:15.800
that, hey, this is what this guy is doing. We all have to fortify ourselves with our value and our

1062
01:02:15.940 --> 01:02:22.700
worth. And the way we do that is when somebody does something, we assert our worth and value.

1063
01:02:23.140 --> 01:02:27.100
That's how you fortify that within yourself. So I want you to know that you're not going to

1064
01:02:27.100 --> 01:02:30.520
always be in a position of, well, I know I really struggle with self-worth. Yeah,

1065
01:02:30.520 --> 01:02:34.700
you may really struggle. This dating is going to help you fortify yourself in it because you're

1066
01:02:34.700 --> 01:02:38.280
going to see what does it serve you best and you're going to call a spade a spade and you're

1067
01:02:38.280 --> 01:02:42.260
going to keep it moving. That's why this is dating for discovery and not dating for marriage.

1068
01:02:42.900 --> 01:02:47.880
In that sense, you are dating for marriage, right? This is a part of the process to your

1069
01:02:47.880 --> 01:02:55.080
love story. So this is a part of it. But you're dating for discovery, it keeps it a low stake

1070
01:02:55.080 --> 01:03:01.160
in your mind without you moving into scarcity. So it's making it low stakes like, it's okay,

1071
01:03:01.160 --> 01:03:05.780
I'm just learning about myself. Did he make a comment about sex to me? Hey, I'm going to have

1072
01:03:05.780 --> 01:03:09.920
to shut that down. I'm not going to let that slide like that. And you're going to take every

1073
01:03:09.920 --> 01:03:16.760
opportunity you can to do it. And so you get to see it from a different perspective, right?

1074
01:03:17.120 --> 01:03:23.340
So it's like, oh, it'll mean, you know, so if you, like I say, like he goes, oh, my, my, my,

1075
01:03:23.380 --> 01:03:29.900
you know, my size is this. You can say, oh, wow. The information isn't necessary.

1076
01:03:31.240 --> 01:03:36.580
And not be afraid that you're losing something. Yeah. Because you, you don't want your,

1077
01:03:36.580 --> 01:03:40.160
your kingdom husband talking to you that way, like, that's not your idea, right?

1078
01:03:41.080 --> 01:03:46.540
That a man of value will speak, right? And so don't be, all that to say is don't be afraid of

1079
01:03:46.540 --> 01:03:50.660
love bombing. There are going to be men that want to love bomb you. You have what it takes to do

1080
01:03:50.660 --> 01:03:55.060
what you have to do. And that's what's going to fortify your worth and value. You get to practice

1081
01:03:55.060 --> 01:04:00.500
it. Now, the first question you ask, because it's 8.04, we got to be done by 8.15 tonight.

1082
01:04:00.500 --> 01:04:07.300
The first question you ask is how do you cause yourself to slow down? And this is the challenging

1083
01:04:07.300 --> 01:04:11.800
thing, because when you meet somebody the first two weeks, it's like chemistry. Something is

1084
01:04:11.800 --> 01:04:17.320
pulling you to them. It, it works without you. It's working. You get to know them. They're

1085
01:04:17.320 --> 01:04:22.000
amazing. You literally can be talking to a person for two days. And it's like, surely we've been

1086
01:04:22.000 --> 01:04:26.960
talking to them a week. Surely it's been two weeks. And you'll almost start wishing time would

1087
01:04:26.960 --> 01:04:32.800
pass by so you could justify how you're feeling, right? Know that those are just chemicals. Like

1088
01:04:32.800 --> 01:04:38.340
recognize the stage for what it is and cause yourself to come under submission to order.

1089
01:04:39.700 --> 01:04:44.420
Tell yourself, I know this is not how you develop a healthy relationship.

1090
01:04:45.580 --> 01:04:52.360
Like that is true. Don't believe that how you feel is the truth because how you feel is not

1091
01:04:52.360 --> 01:04:56.460
the truth. It's the chemicals that are released when we want to draw a man to a woman.

1092
01:04:59.000 --> 01:04:59.920
Your feelings

1093
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.860
aren't your truth. Even if you feel like this is the one, why would you forego the process of

1094
01:05:06.860 --> 01:05:14.880
getting to know someone in an organic way? That doesn't make sense. If you marry somebody in a

1095
01:05:14.880 --> 01:05:18.860
week, you still got to be their friend. You think they're going to be your friend because you made

1096
01:05:18.860 --> 01:05:24.840
covenant with them? Whether you got on the other side of I do and had to learn them, it's still

1097
01:05:24.840 --> 01:05:30.700
the same process. You have to cause yourself to come under submission to the boundaries that

1098
01:05:30.700 --> 01:05:36.520
you've accepted. If you're in this program, you've accepted the boundary that I'm not going to do

1099
01:05:36.520 --> 01:05:42.340
physical intimacy because it clouds judgment. I'm not going to talk about emotional things because

1100
01:05:42.340 --> 01:05:46.680
it's not appropriate. I don't know this person. I'm not going to talk about spiritual things

1101
01:05:46.680 --> 01:05:50.720
because spiritual things make you believe that you know somebody better than you do.

1102
01:05:50.720 --> 01:05:56.640
These are not made up things. These are fact-based things. When we talk about spiritual things,

1103
01:05:56.700 --> 01:05:59.720
we're talking about not praying together, not reading your Bible together. We're not

1104
01:05:59.720 --> 01:06:03.260
talking about asking them what they believe. There's nothing wrong with asking a person what

1105
01:06:03.260 --> 01:06:10.980
they believe. If you know these things, cause yourself to come under submission to those

1106
01:06:10.980 --> 01:06:15.180
things because you've accepted that this is the way you're going to do this phase of your life.

1107
01:06:16.100 --> 01:06:22.980
Right? Once you settle that within yourself, it's easier to come under submission to it.

1108
01:06:22.980 --> 01:06:27.800
But if you decided that you know this, and you want to do it this way, and you're going to forgo

1109
01:06:27.800 --> 01:06:32.500
that, and then you're going to have to take the heat of what comes along with it. If, ladies,

1110
01:06:33.520 --> 01:06:39.700
you don't have the ability to cause yourself to submit to what you say is right, then you need

1111
01:06:39.700 --> 01:06:44.700
to get people in your life that will slow you down. The way you get people in your life to

1112
01:06:44.700 --> 01:06:49.820
slow you down is to be completely vulnerable when it's time to be vulnerable. Completely say

1113
01:06:49.820 --> 01:06:55.300
what you talked about on the phone with that man. Everything. Lay it all out. So when they say to

1114
01:06:55.300 --> 01:06:59.380
you, like, hey, that is too much. Hey, y'all shouldn't be talking about future things. Hey,

1115
01:06:59.380 --> 01:07:04.240
that is too fast. Yeah, that's going to cost you. You say, okay, I'll do what you say.

1116
01:07:05.380 --> 01:07:09.700
Because you know what they're saying is right. You just don't have the ability to do it for

1117
01:07:09.700 --> 01:07:15.420
yourself. And so you've hired them, brought them in to be police for you.

1118
01:07:16.100 --> 01:07:21.180
Now, I have community that does that for me, and I submit to wisdom and authority because I've

1119
01:07:21.180 --> 01:07:25.180
chosen them to be the authority in my life. I've trusted the hand of God upon their life,

1120
01:07:25.200 --> 01:07:29.220
and they've proven that they have wisdom by the relationships they sustain in their life

1121
01:07:29.220 --> 01:07:36.540
and how they live their life. And so I do that for myself because that serves me best.

1122
01:07:36.540 --> 01:07:41.620
And so that's one way you could do it. I know that was a long answer, but I want to take a

1123
01:07:41.620 --> 01:07:48.840
moment to say that because it is necessary on this journey for you to call yourself to come

1124
01:07:49.000 --> 01:07:54.280
under some order. Yeah, I think I want to make it like I just being honest, it's like I want to make

1125
01:07:54.280 --> 01:07:58.820
it all happen really fast. Like, I don't want to go through the process. I know how to do. You ain't

1126
01:07:58.820 --> 01:08:04.540
by yourself. If I could get every woman on here to tell the truth, do they want to? I don't want

1127
01:08:04.540 --> 01:08:10.340
to do it. We want to Amazon man. Come on for detail the truth. We want to Amazon man. Like,

1128
01:08:10.380 --> 01:08:15.520
come on, God, you know, everybody and everything. Just send the man my way, right? That is what we

1129
01:08:15.520 --> 01:08:21.380
want. But that doesn't serve us best because the Lord wants to develop us. He really does.

1130
01:08:22.020 --> 01:08:26.279
He really ship them over. He really wants to develop us and give us the very best.

1131
01:08:26.939 --> 01:08:31.580
And so if you know the truth about yourself, you cause yourself to come under a certain order

1132
01:08:31.580 --> 01:08:36.859
and accept things as truth and then operate in it until you find another truth that you want

1133
01:08:36.859 --> 01:08:43.340
to operate in. Yeah. Thank you so much, Ebony. You're welcome. That's right. Amazon Prime Day.

1134
01:08:43.560 --> 01:08:48.700
Let's get them here. Isatel, is that how you say your name or Isatel? It's Isatel.

1135
01:08:49.939 --> 01:08:56.100
Golly, Isatel. I should have known that I was long. Yeah, everybody wants to say it's like Isabel,

1136
01:08:56.819 --> 01:09:03.660
isn't it? No. The A helps the I say his name. Go ahead. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Hopefully it's not

1137
01:09:03.660 --> 01:09:10.800
too loud. I'm walking to Bible study. But yeah, I went into phase two last week. And

1138
01:09:10.800 --> 01:09:16.640
I've been just kind of on a couple of dating apps. And like one guy I talked to, like,

1139
01:09:16.660 --> 01:09:22.680
he really didn't have much on his profile. And to be honest, I normally wouldn't even

1140
01:09:24.100 --> 01:09:29.040
accept like a match with somebody like I want to know if they like I want to know more about them.

1141
01:09:29.040 --> 01:09:35.220
I want to like dig it out of it. And we even tried texting musical. What do you want to know? I'm

1142
01:09:36.040 --> 01:09:41.380
like, okay, if I got it, like, I don't know. I think it's just I'm the type that I'd much rather

1143
01:09:42.040 --> 01:09:47.399
talk. Instead of like this awkward texting where it's just Hi, how are you doing? Hi.

1144
01:09:47.960 --> 01:09:55.360
And trying to like, build something off a text. It's been interesting. And

1145
01:09:58.600 --> 01:09:59.980
Oh, and

1146
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:09.640
And I put in the community, I go to a fairly big church in the Bay Area, and I know I saw

1147
01:10:09.640 --> 01:10:14.340
your comment, and I think part of me was kind of like, not ashamed, but like, a little discouraged

1148
01:10:14.340 --> 01:10:18.560
that I think I handled it the wrong way, that I know I handled it the wrong way, that he

1149
01:10:18.560 --> 01:10:23.220
kind of alluded to, that we'd meet up on a Saturday, and I got all dressed up on a Saturday,

1150
01:10:23.320 --> 01:10:26.540
but he never, like, followed up.

1151
01:10:26.980 --> 01:10:27.220
Oh!

1152
01:10:27.940 --> 01:10:28.720
That's you.

1153
01:10:28.720 --> 01:10:28.760
That's me.

1154
01:10:28.940 --> 01:10:30.780
Yeah, yeah.

1155
01:10:30.780 --> 01:10:37.840
So you're the one that y'all said y'all made plans to meet up, but you never solidified

1156
01:10:37.840 --> 01:10:39.480
it, but you still got dressed to go?

1157
01:10:40.480 --> 01:10:46.220
Yeah, so, like, he, from the conversation, made it sound like he was, like, that we'd

1158
01:10:46.220 --> 01:10:53.000
meet up on Saturday, but maybe it just, he didn't say a time, so maybe I thought, like,

1159
01:10:53.000 --> 01:10:57.480
after I was done with my Bible study thing, that we would solidify a time, and we'd talk,

1160
01:10:57.480 --> 01:11:03.340
or, like, it's for Saturday, just what, like, because I was busy, I know he was busy, he

1161
01:11:03.340 --> 01:11:07.640
would set a time, but it's like, it was already three in the afternoon, and I heard a peep,

1162
01:11:09.200 --> 01:11:15.220
and so I think it was just, like, I didn't want to just be waiting around if we said

1163
01:11:15.220 --> 01:11:20.400
we were going to meet on a Saturday, on Saturday, and just take the whole day, because I didn't

1164
01:11:20.400 --> 01:11:22.160
want to exactly be meeting at night, either.

1165
01:11:23.180 --> 01:11:28.620
Well, tell me, what made you get dressed, and you didn't have a confirmation?

1166
01:11:30.180 --> 01:11:38.540
Well, he said we would meet up on Saturday, I'll pick you up, and I told him, like, I'm

1167
01:11:40.020 --> 01:11:49.300
more of a take charge, like, direct female, so I think I was trying to see what it's like

1168
01:11:49.300 --> 01:11:50.600
to let him take the lead.

1169
01:11:51.720 --> 01:11:52.160
Mmm.

1170
01:11:52.720 --> 01:11:55.040
I'm trying my best to do that.

1171
01:11:55.040 --> 01:11:56.480
I see, I see.

1172
01:11:57.720 --> 01:12:02.740
And so, like, I told him, you know, I had a Bible study in the morning, I texted him,

1173
01:12:02.800 --> 01:12:08.720
like, oh, I'm back from the Bible study, but yeah, like, I hadn't heard anything else about

1174
01:12:08.720 --> 01:12:13.600
the whole day, like, he didn't confirm, so that's why I'm like, I'm not trying, if he

1175
01:12:13.600 --> 01:12:21.560
said Saturday, I want to trust that, if he said Saturday, seriously, I'm not going to

1176
01:12:21.560 --> 01:12:30.000
have my whole day busy on Saturday if he said that, so, like, I think I'm just, like, trying

1177
01:12:31.640 --> 01:12:35.560
to, yeah, I wanted to know, like, I wanted to get some type of, like, hey, let's meet

1178
01:12:35.560 --> 01:12:40.520
up at 2, hey, like, let's meet up at 5 for coffee, just something, and the fact that

1179
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:46.280
he didn't give me anything, I didn't want to wait until 3, 4, 5 to figure it out, and

1180
01:12:46.280 --> 01:12:49.940
I guess he was working that day, but again, he didn't tell me anything about that, so

1181
01:12:49.940 --> 01:12:51.220
I think I'm just, like, yeah.

1182
01:12:52.060 --> 01:12:54.160
Okay, I see what, I see what happened now.

1183
01:12:54.400 --> 01:12:57.780
You're used to taking charge, so you say that this man said this is what he's going to do,

1184
01:12:57.840 --> 01:13:01.760
I'm going to try to trust that he's going to keep his word, I haven't heard from him,

1185
01:13:01.980 --> 01:13:05.660
but I am on this journey of trusting if somebody gave their word, they're going to do what

1186
01:13:05.660 --> 01:13:06.580
they said they're going to do.

1187
01:13:07.200 --> 01:13:08.620
Is that what you were thinking?

1188
01:13:08.620 --> 01:13:16.040
Yeah, and not try to be, like, yeah, so I'm trying to learn how to be gentle and let the

1189
01:13:16.080 --> 01:13:17.620
guy, you know, lead.

1190
01:13:18.380 --> 01:13:24.360
Okay, so while you're dating for discovery, I do want you to get confirmation, and that's

1191
01:13:24.360 --> 01:13:30.060
not you taking over, that's you getting confirmation that this is a go, right?

1192
01:13:30.060 --> 01:13:37.360
And so once you reach out, say, hey, I'm just reaching out, in a very, this is very feminine,

1193
01:13:37.360 --> 01:13:40.840
I'm reaching, this is feminine, what I'm saying, hey, just reaching out to make sure that we're

1194
01:13:40.840 --> 01:13:43.360
still on for tomorrow at this time.

1195
01:13:43.920 --> 01:13:44.320
Yeah.

1196
01:13:44.620 --> 01:13:45.020
Right?

1197
01:13:45.440 --> 01:13:49.240
Another way you can let them take the lead is once you agree, you can say back to them,

1198
01:13:49.400 --> 01:13:54.520
I would be great to go out to coffee, let me know where I should meet you at.

1199
01:13:54.620 --> 01:13:58.360
That means you're letting them select the place, like, that's a way you can do it.

1200
01:13:59.000 --> 01:14:03.080
Now, they may come and say, I don't really know that area that well, so if you have a

1201
01:14:03.080 --> 01:14:06.980
favorite coffee shop that you'd like to go to, you can say, okay, yeah, I actually do,

1202
01:14:06.980 --> 01:14:10.780
because then that gives you autonomy to choose what serves you best.

1203
01:14:11.320 --> 01:14:11.460
Right.

1204
01:14:12.060 --> 01:14:12.620
Okay.

1205
01:14:14.500 --> 01:14:19.060
It's something you said the first time that I wanted to say something to you about.

1206
01:14:21.440 --> 01:14:22.880
Okay, well, go ahead.

1207
01:14:23.120 --> 01:14:25.140
So I see now better.

1208
01:14:25.260 --> 01:14:25.580
Yeah.

1209
01:14:25.960 --> 01:14:31.240
Do you know, so do you think that attributed to your disappointment, because you were trying

1210
01:14:31.260 --> 01:14:32.220
something new?

1211
01:14:32.220 --> 01:14:37.100
So you were trying to go against a pattern in yourself, and then it felt like you were

1212
01:14:37.100 --> 01:14:42.140
stood up, and maybe that's how, like, so I want to say this, and you ladies, I'm sorry

1213
01:14:42.140 --> 01:14:44.480
if I'm jumping around, because I'm going by a post she made.

1214
01:14:44.640 --> 01:14:49.700
The post was, this guy asked her out, she got dressed, even though they did not confirm,

1215
01:14:50.200 --> 01:14:55.080
and she sent him a text and was like, hey, you know what?

1216
01:14:55.100 --> 01:14:58.460
I would really appreciate it if you...

1217
01:14:58.920 --> 01:14:59.980
So she just kind of...

1218
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:00.900
went off the handle.

1219
01:15:01.120 --> 01:15:02.860
And so I asked her back in the post,

1220
01:15:02.940 --> 01:15:04.480
like, hey, that was a bit much.

1221
01:15:04.660 --> 01:15:05.980
You could have just said this.

1222
01:15:06.760 --> 01:15:09.980
But do you know why you got dressed without having

1223
01:15:10.480 --> 01:15:11.440
something solidified?

1224
01:15:11.940 --> 01:15:14.420
And also, I went on to say in the next post,

1225
01:15:14.500 --> 01:15:16.060
like, hey, don't beat yourself up.

1226
01:15:16.100 --> 01:15:18.740
And so this is why I want to double back, too.

1227
01:15:18.760 --> 01:15:22.300
The thing about this, ladies, however you respond

1228
01:15:22.300 --> 01:15:24.180
is the way you respond.

1229
01:15:24.420 --> 01:15:28.340
You're not wrong for your response in a sense

1230
01:15:28.340 --> 01:15:31.040
that this is who you are and this is where you are.

1231
01:15:31.460 --> 01:15:34.480
It's more important that you discover or dig through

1232
01:15:34.480 --> 01:15:36.960
why you responded that way.

1233
01:15:37.620 --> 01:15:39.440
That's going to serve you better,

1234
01:15:39.500 --> 01:15:40.820
because you're not losing.

1235
01:15:41.280 --> 01:15:44.100
You had an experience, right?

1236
01:15:44.100 --> 01:15:45.460
And that's what I want to say to you.

1237
01:15:45.460 --> 01:15:46.840
Now, you had an experience.

1238
01:15:47.020 --> 01:15:48.480
You didn't respond wrong.

1239
01:15:48.560 --> 01:15:51.200
You responded out of the place where you were.

1240
01:15:51.820 --> 01:15:54.440
And at that moment, you were disappointed.

1241
01:15:54.720 --> 01:15:55.660
You were frustrated.

1242
01:15:55.660 --> 01:15:58.540
Inside of you, you were trying to go against a way

1243
01:15:58.540 --> 01:15:59.960
that you've been in the past and you

1244
01:15:59.960 --> 01:16:01.180
didn't want to be there anyway.

1245
01:16:01.260 --> 01:16:02.860
And you were let down.

1246
01:16:03.200 --> 01:16:05.300
And it's like some part of you could have been saying,

1247
01:16:05.420 --> 01:16:06.600
I knew I should have took control.

1248
01:16:06.800 --> 01:16:08.020
I knew I should have dealt with this.

1249
01:16:08.320 --> 01:16:09.780
I knew I should have did it my way.

1250
01:16:09.780 --> 01:16:11.500
But you were trying a new way.

1251
01:16:11.540 --> 01:16:14.560
And this new way is necessary for where you're going.

1252
01:16:14.700 --> 01:16:16.860
And that's for marriage, right?

1253
01:16:16.980 --> 01:16:17.740
Yes, yeah.

1254
01:16:18.060 --> 01:16:21.060
You can't take over and operate in a certain way.

1255
01:16:21.540 --> 01:16:23.700
And so that's what that was.

1256
01:16:23.700 --> 01:16:26.340
And you can always follow back up with the person.

1257
01:16:26.640 --> 01:16:29.520
And I want you to know that you can always follow up

1258
01:16:29.520 --> 01:16:32.840
with a person and say, hey, I know if you don't want to,

1259
01:16:33.140 --> 01:16:34.700
I know that could have been quite heavy.

1260
01:16:34.820 --> 01:16:36.180
I was very disappointed.

1261
01:16:36.520 --> 01:16:39.960
If I could say it differently, this is what I would say to you.

1262
01:16:41.400 --> 01:16:42.460
And leave it at that.

1263
01:16:43.000 --> 01:16:46.960
If I could say it differently, this is what I would have liked

1264
01:16:47.400 --> 01:16:48.020
to say.

1265
01:16:48.500 --> 01:16:49.700
I've done this so many times.

1266
01:16:49.700 --> 01:16:51.140
This is what I wanted to say.

1267
01:16:51.740 --> 01:16:52.220
Yeah.

1268
01:16:53.680 --> 01:16:53.860
You're right.

1269
01:16:54.140 --> 01:16:58.280
And I think just know if I think I realized

1270
01:16:58.280 --> 01:17:01.240
that I should have just tried to seek a confirmation the day

1271
01:17:01.240 --> 01:17:01.500
before.

1272
01:17:01.640 --> 01:17:04.080
Because I see him at church, but all he says is like, hi.

1273
01:17:04.520 --> 01:17:07.180
Or like, I help a lot in different ministries.

1274
01:17:07.300 --> 01:17:09.060
I can welcome team or prayer.

1275
01:17:09.600 --> 01:17:12.140
So I think that might intimidate some, too.

1276
01:17:12.440 --> 01:17:15.100
There's another question all about my calling

1277
01:17:15.100 --> 01:17:18.160
the ministry and finding a man that's

1278
01:17:18.160 --> 01:17:21.980
in that kind of equally yokes for somebody who's

1279
01:17:21.980 --> 01:17:23.300
called to ministry full time.

1280
01:17:23.520 --> 01:17:28.000
But yeah, I think it's just been a little, I guess for me,

1281
01:17:28.000 --> 01:17:28.560
it is a little awkward.

1282
01:17:29.080 --> 01:17:30.560
I don't know if it is for him.

1283
01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:34.000
But I just, yeah, I don't know.

1284
01:17:34.020 --> 01:17:37.220
I think it's something I can learn from.

1285
01:17:37.700 --> 01:17:41.020
And I think it's, yeah, like maybe I just

1286
01:17:41.300 --> 01:17:44.160
need to kind of take, not take my medicine,

1287
01:17:44.160 --> 01:17:47.880
but yeah, I guess like explain to him

1288
01:17:47.880 --> 01:17:51.260
or apologize if I needed to and how it was worded.

1289
01:17:52.480 --> 01:17:52.840
Yeah.

1290
01:17:53.120 --> 01:17:56.060
I think you could just say, that's not

1291
01:17:56.060 --> 01:17:57.680
exactly what I wanted to say.

1292
01:17:57.960 --> 01:17:59.920
This is what I would have rather said.

1293
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:02.260
You can go to him, see him at church,

1294
01:18:02.320 --> 01:18:04.360
and you can let him see you as a person.

1295
01:18:04.980 --> 01:18:08.300
You can extend grace to yourself.

1296
01:18:09.640 --> 01:18:12.260
And you have the, are you frozen?

1297
01:18:12.460 --> 01:18:13.100
Can you hear me?

1298
01:18:14.760 --> 01:18:18.940
Oh, I want to give you permission to be yourself.

1299
01:18:19.900 --> 01:18:21.340
You can be yourself.

1300
01:18:21.700 --> 01:18:26.000
You can go up as yourself and say, hey, this is what happened.

1301
01:18:26.880 --> 01:18:28.800
I was super frustrated.

1302
01:18:28.960 --> 01:18:30.020
He'd be like, oh, no, it's OK.

1303
01:18:30.120 --> 01:18:32.000
So I understand that it's OK.

1304
01:18:32.400 --> 01:18:35.440
I just want to share this with you as a brother in Christ.

1305
01:18:36.420 --> 01:18:38.700
Let me, let me present you as a part,

1306
01:18:38.700 --> 01:18:40.800
like this is who you are, Isatel.

1307
01:18:40.800 --> 01:18:43.380
And so I just want you to know that there

1308
01:18:43.380 --> 01:18:45.360
is grace and space for you.

1309
01:18:46.400 --> 01:18:49.680
And let's just address this one last thing with you.

1310
01:18:49.980 --> 01:18:52.860
This idea that you have to find somebody that's

1311
01:18:52.860 --> 01:18:54.520
in full-time ministry just like you.

1312
01:18:54.520 --> 01:18:56.600
Is this going to be a hard thing to do?

1313
01:18:56.840 --> 01:18:59.560
Listen, when we partner with heaven,

1314
01:18:59.580 --> 01:19:02.400
he's always working things out for our highest and greatest

1315
01:19:02.400 --> 01:19:02.840
good.

1316
01:19:02.940 --> 01:19:04.820
You're not going to have to find anybody.

1317
01:19:04.980 --> 01:19:07.720
You're on a journey to your love story

1318
01:19:07.720 --> 01:19:09.280
that God has designed for you.

1319
01:19:09.280 --> 01:19:11.400
And you have to remind yourself of that.

1320
01:19:11.660 --> 01:19:14.180
And whatever list you have, we say this all the time,

1321
01:19:14.540 --> 01:19:15.080
toss it out.

1322
01:19:15.340 --> 01:19:17.280
Because just because you're in full-time ministry

1323
01:19:17.280 --> 01:19:19.420
doesn't mean your husband has to be in full-time ministry.

1324
01:19:19.900 --> 01:19:23.620
What you need is a man that has capacity for the calling

1325
01:19:23.620 --> 01:19:24.760
that's on your life.

1326
01:19:24.840 --> 01:19:27.520
And that doesn't mean that he has to sit in a pulpit

1327
01:19:27.520 --> 01:19:29.980
or serve on a team or any of those things.

1328
01:19:30.120 --> 01:19:32.620
The ideal or design that you may have

1329
01:19:32.620 --> 01:19:35.920
may look nothing like what the father has in store.

1330
01:19:35.960 --> 01:19:37.440
We know he's going to be a righteous man.

1331
01:19:37.440 --> 01:19:38.540
We know he's going to be masculine.

1332
01:19:38.540 --> 01:19:39.580
We know he's going to be mature.

1333
01:19:39.580 --> 01:19:42.880
Because that is the foundation of a kingdom marriage.

1334
01:19:44.100 --> 01:19:49.420
But it just doesn't have to look a certain way or the way

1335
01:19:49.420 --> 01:19:52.000
that you have in mind that it has to look.

1336
01:19:52.620 --> 01:19:55.760
God knows what you need to stretch you, to help grow you,

1337
01:19:56.060 --> 01:19:58.400
to help facilitate what he's put on your life.

1338
01:19:58.400 --> 01:19:59.980
Just like he knows what that man.

1339
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.860
and needs to help grow him, stretch him,

1340
01:20:01.960 --> 01:20:03.380
to facilitate what's on his life.

1341
01:20:03.520 --> 01:20:05.100
Somebody can be in ministry today

1342
01:20:05.100 --> 01:20:06.940
and six years down the road, not in ministry.

1343
01:20:07.020 --> 01:20:08.960
So we can't go about choosing people

1344
01:20:08.960 --> 01:20:12.020
based on some profile that we've written up, you know?

1345
01:20:14.260 --> 01:20:17.040
Yeah, I've seen that in real life relationships.

1346
01:20:17.320 --> 01:20:19.840
I think it's just figuring it's, yeah,

1347
01:20:19.840 --> 01:20:23.380
it's figuring it all out and like,

1348
01:20:24.120 --> 01:20:26.540
do you have, I know it's almost at the end of it,

1349
01:20:26.540 --> 01:20:29.620
but like, do you recommend to like kind of

1350
01:20:29.620 --> 01:20:31.520
try to talk on the phone sooner

1351
01:20:31.520 --> 01:20:34.460
and then just try to have these awkward five word texts?

1352
01:20:34.940 --> 01:20:36.520
That's the next thing I wanted to say to you.

1353
01:20:36.760 --> 01:20:39.100
You can transition from texting to the phone

1354
01:20:39.100 --> 01:20:40.400
at any point that you want.

1355
01:20:40.800 --> 01:20:41.760
I agree with you.

1356
01:20:42.080 --> 01:20:43.040
You're an adult.

1357
01:20:43.220 --> 01:20:44.480
Nobody's gonna sit up and text,

1358
01:20:44.780 --> 01:20:47.300
especially back and forth on an app.

1359
01:20:48.840 --> 01:20:51.000
That just is not gonna work.

1360
01:20:51.040 --> 01:20:52.100
It doesn't work for me.

1361
01:20:52.140 --> 01:20:53.160
I don't do that.

1362
01:20:53.200 --> 01:20:55.840
I don't know who has a lot of capacity for that.

1363
01:20:55.960 --> 01:20:57.760
But after the second day,

1364
01:20:57.760 --> 01:21:00.720
if they haven't asked for your number or video,

1365
01:21:00.940 --> 01:21:02.500
whatever you want to do, you can say,

1366
01:21:02.860 --> 01:21:05.100
if you want to get to know them, you can say,

1367
01:21:05.620 --> 01:21:08.640
hey, exchanging in the app has its perks,

1368
01:21:08.920 --> 01:21:11.100
but it also has its downsides.

1369
01:21:11.220 --> 01:21:13.320
And I would like to get to know you better.

1370
01:21:13.800 --> 01:21:15.580
Would you be interested in a voice call?

1371
01:21:15.660 --> 01:21:16.980
If so, let me know.

1372
01:21:17.400 --> 01:21:17.740
Okay.

1373
01:21:17.880 --> 01:21:20.300
Once you say that, now, when you say, let me know,

1374
01:21:20.320 --> 01:21:21.920
you put the ball back in their court

1375
01:21:21.920 --> 01:21:24.280
for them to voice what they want to do.

1376
01:21:24.280 --> 01:21:27.580
If they say, I would really like that, you say, great.

1377
01:21:27.980 --> 01:21:30.080
Here's my number and here's my availability.

1378
01:21:31.560 --> 01:21:32.980
Okay, perfect.

1379
01:21:33.880 --> 01:21:35.240
That helps a lot.

1380
01:21:35.340 --> 01:21:38.080
I think, yeah, just to see,

1381
01:21:38.660 --> 01:21:40.560
to not speed up the process,

1382
01:21:40.620 --> 01:21:43.000
but yeah, not make it feel like I'm pulling out teeth.

1383
01:21:43.660 --> 01:21:44.280
So-

1384
01:21:44.280 --> 01:21:46.040
Oh, you can speed up the process

1385
01:21:46.040 --> 01:21:47.780
of stop talking to somebody over text.

1386
01:21:47.900 --> 01:21:48.780
That's not ideal.

1387
01:21:48.960 --> 01:21:50.980
You basically texting somebody you don't know,

1388
01:21:51.280 --> 01:21:52.960
and you shouldn't answer all these questions.

1389
01:21:52.960 --> 01:21:54.880
So one thing when somebody asks you like,

1390
01:21:54.880 --> 01:21:56.220
hey, what are you looking for?

1391
01:21:56.220 --> 01:21:58.260
You can say, that's a really great question.

1392
01:21:58.320 --> 01:22:01.020
I would enjoy answering that on the phone with you.

1393
01:22:01.020 --> 01:22:04.020
Or how about I answer that for you over a video call?

1394
01:22:04.600 --> 01:22:04.820
Yeah.

1395
01:22:05.280 --> 01:22:06.760
Like, hey, that's a great question.

1396
01:22:07.480 --> 01:22:09.060
That's kind of a detailed question.

1397
01:22:09.120 --> 01:22:11.980
So let's discuss this on another platform or another way.

1398
01:22:12.220 --> 01:22:14.340
You can always say that you don't have to feel obligated

1399
01:22:14.340 --> 01:22:15.680
to answer all these questions,

1400
01:22:15.720 --> 01:22:16.980
and you could just tell the person

1401
01:22:16.980 --> 01:22:18.860
what you would rather do, right?

1402
01:22:19.540 --> 01:22:19.980
Yeah.

1403
01:22:19.980 --> 01:22:23.020
And, you know, the goal is,

1404
01:22:23.080 --> 01:22:25.040
if you haven't had an opportunity to watch the video,

1405
01:22:25.180 --> 01:22:28.040
but the goal is if someone is local within a week,

1406
01:22:28.040 --> 01:22:30.500
you should be having a coffee date with them.

1407
01:22:30.780 --> 01:22:32.820
If they're about a little less than local,

1408
01:22:32.980 --> 01:22:34.000
probably a hundred miles,

1409
01:22:34.080 --> 01:22:36.380
you want to do two weeks, but not more than that.

1410
01:22:36.820 --> 01:22:38.540
The goal is a live date.

1411
01:22:39.660 --> 01:22:39.780
Right.

1412
01:22:39.840 --> 01:22:40.720
I don't drive.

1413
01:22:40.840 --> 01:22:42.200
I take the public transit everywhere.

1414
01:22:42.340 --> 01:22:43.720
So they got, right now,

1415
01:22:43.740 --> 01:22:46.020
I don't even know if I want to entertain more than a,

1416
01:22:46.020 --> 01:22:50.180
if it's more than a three-hour bus or train ride.

1417
01:22:50.600 --> 01:22:51.920
Oh, no, you don't want entertainment.

1418
01:22:53.020 --> 01:22:53.300
Yeah.

1419
01:22:54.560 --> 01:22:55.760
I said, right.

1420
01:22:55.940 --> 01:22:56.820
That makes sense.

1421
01:22:57.500 --> 01:22:57.640
Yeah.

1422
01:22:58.260 --> 01:22:58.740
Okay.

1423
01:22:59.540 --> 01:23:01.000
I need somebody like with,

1424
01:23:01.140 --> 01:23:03.960
that's only maybe an hour train ride.

1425
01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:09.960
And that's about, I think the capacity I'm at right now.

1426
01:23:10.160 --> 01:23:10.680
Yeah.

1427
01:23:10.680 --> 01:23:11.080
Okay.

1428
01:23:11.280 --> 01:23:13.160
I think that makes perfectly good sense.

1429
01:23:13.380 --> 01:23:13.780
You wouldn't,

1430
01:23:13.780 --> 01:23:15.640
I don't intentionally pursue someone

1431
01:23:15.640 --> 01:23:17.280
for a coffee date that's too far.

1432
01:23:18.220 --> 01:23:18.260
Right.

1433
01:23:18.520 --> 01:23:19.040
Exactly.

1434
01:23:19.320 --> 01:23:19.800
Yeah.

1435
01:23:20.020 --> 01:23:21.060
No, that's been good.

1436
01:23:21.100 --> 01:23:21.960
I think that's been helpful.

1437
01:23:22.260 --> 01:23:24.060
And just to just be that sister,

1438
01:23:24.320 --> 01:23:27.600
just to give myself grace and give that brother grace.

1439
01:23:27.720 --> 01:23:29.960
And yeah, just, I think helps streamline

1440
01:23:29.960 --> 01:23:33.700
and then make this process a little easier

1441
01:23:33.700 --> 01:23:36.000
to build connections and date for the,

1442
01:23:36.200 --> 01:23:38.720
actually get to the date instead of just random texting.

1443
01:23:39.200 --> 01:23:40.660
So yeah, that's helpful.

1444
01:23:40.740 --> 01:23:41.400
Thank you.

1445
01:23:42.000 --> 01:23:42.560
You're welcome.

1446
01:23:42.560 --> 01:23:44.240
I'm excited for you.

1447
01:23:44.300 --> 01:23:45.460
Thank you so much.

1448
01:23:45.620 --> 01:23:46.220
You're welcome.

1449
01:23:46.960 --> 01:23:49.700
All right, Sarah, thanks for hanging in there.

1450
01:23:49.900 --> 01:23:50.660
How's it going?

1451
01:23:52.820 --> 01:23:53.260
Hello.

1452
01:23:54.480 --> 01:23:58.120
I just wanted to share just really briefly.

1453
01:23:58.720 --> 01:24:02.180
I'm just proud of myself because I've gone on four dates

1454
01:24:02.180 --> 01:24:04.460
in about the last month or so.

1455
01:24:04.480 --> 01:24:07.220
And so that's a lot for me.

1456
01:24:07.220 --> 01:24:09.220
And I've been going on dates almost every weekend.

1457
01:24:12.860 --> 01:24:14.760
So, I'm just really proud of myself.

1458
01:24:15.280 --> 01:24:18.660
And then also, this last weekend,

1459
01:24:18.720 --> 01:24:21.740
I went on a date with a guy and I think it was,

1460
01:24:21.980 --> 01:24:24.740
I think it was my best date that I've gone on so far.

1461
01:24:25.020 --> 01:24:27.680
So that was also a really big win, I feel like.

1462
01:24:28.380 --> 01:24:31.920
I wouldn't say that I necessarily have like feelings

1463
01:24:31.960 --> 01:24:35.740
exactly for him, but I just really enjoyed the date.

1464
01:24:35.800 --> 01:24:39.200
And I felt like our connection

1465
01:24:39.200 --> 01:24:43.000
or whatever, our match, our compatibility, I should say,

1466
01:24:43.380 --> 01:24:46.380
was better than any of the other guys

1467
01:24:46.380 --> 01:24:48.220
probably that I've gone on a date with so far.

1468
01:24:48.560 --> 01:24:50.880
So, that was really exciting

1469
01:24:50.880 --> 01:24:52.920
that things are kind of like progressing

1470
01:24:53.460 --> 01:24:57.320
and I'm meeting like more and more compatible people,

1471
01:24:57.700 --> 01:24:58.480
which is really cool.

1472
01:25:00.460 --> 01:25:05.940
That's really cool. It's like the more you say no to the less compatible, like even or

1473
01:25:05.940 --> 01:25:11.740
the more you date, the better the picking becomes. That makes sense. Like I tested it.

1474
01:25:11.940 --> 01:25:15.740
So like I would start like this first, you know, you just do your seven days like I had

1475
01:25:15.740 --> 01:25:19.600
like I did one date after another, sometimes be two or three days in a week, just roll,

1476
01:25:19.720 --> 01:25:23.460
roll, roll, roll. And then when I start streamlining, start getting better and better and better.

1477
01:25:23.740 --> 01:25:27.700
So watch the girl go ahead, Sarah, not trying to take your time. That does happen.

1478
01:25:28.260 --> 01:25:34.120
Yeah. So I, my only thing is, and I know I talked with you about this last time. I just,

1479
01:25:34.720 --> 01:25:40.940
I don't, I don't want to always be the person who's like pursuing, like as the female,

1480
01:25:41.120 --> 01:25:45.620
like I would also like to be pursued. But I'm like, if I'm going to sit here and wait for

1481
01:25:45.620 --> 01:25:57.580
somebody to ask me on a date, I feel like, you know, I'm going to be waiting for a while. So

1482
01:25:57.580 --> 01:25:59.900
but I guess that just is what it is right now.

1483
01:26:01.620 --> 01:26:06.480
I think that it could be a time, but I think that it is just that way. Like, Hey, you just

1484
01:26:06.480 --> 01:26:10.640
make some things happen because you're on a dating app. But I also believe that you can

1485
01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:17.020
say things in a way that calls them to it's not more about pursuit. I know what you're saying,

1486
01:26:17.100 --> 01:26:21.300
what you want to experience. And when you experience a man leading the way, like start

1487
01:26:21.300 --> 01:26:25.920
off saying that it does feel good. Like it is nice. So I'm not going to say that that's not true.

1488
01:26:25.920 --> 01:26:33.240
I will say that I initiated more than when you talk about dating apps, I initiated more like,

1489
01:26:33.540 --> 01:26:39.780
Hey, would you like to exchange numbers more, but then it is reciprocated.

1490
01:26:40.460 --> 01:26:48.360
And so you're looking for reciprocation, right? And I think we talked about this last time

1491
01:26:48.540 --> 01:26:53.560
reciprocation, and you can always put it back in their court to give you that, some of that

1492
01:26:53.560 --> 01:26:58.260
experience that you're talking about. Like, Hey, I want to get to know you better. Would you be

1493
01:26:58.260 --> 01:27:03.900
interested in exchanging numbers? Once they buy in and say, yes, they're also taken apart. And

1494
01:27:03.900 --> 01:27:07.980
they say, yes, you say, well, here's my number and my availability. That means they're reaching

1495
01:27:07.980 --> 01:27:14.280
out to you first. Cause you gave them the information. Does that make sense? Yeah.

1496
01:27:14.440 --> 01:27:19.600
And so when they call you, they would have made that move before you like getting that

1497
01:27:19.600 --> 01:27:21.920
you texting them. Hey, it's Sarah.

1498
01:27:25.540 --> 01:27:31.700
Yeah. I, I much prefer in-person rather than like texting or calling or anything like that. I mean,

1499
01:27:31.700 --> 01:27:36.660
I know it always usually starts like that, but I, I pretty quickly want to move to in-person

1500
01:27:36.660 --> 01:27:40.460
because I know myself and I'll get bored and just be like, I don't even know this person.

1501
01:27:40.520 --> 01:27:45.560
Like, what's the point of this? You know, like dragging it on. Like, I just want to meet them

1502
01:27:45.560 --> 01:27:49.920
because I feel like you learn a whole lot more, a lot faster. You get a much better

1503
01:27:49.920 --> 01:27:58.700
idea of who they are in person. But I feel like I, I, it could also just because I,

1504
01:27:58.720 --> 01:28:05.100
I can, I can be a little bit quiet in certain settings. And so I think because of that and

1505
01:28:05.100 --> 01:28:10.000
kind of guarded. So I think because I think that's really the biggest reason why people don't ask me

1506
01:28:10.000 --> 01:28:15.260
because I'm, I, yeah. Cause I'm just a bit more quiet and guarded, but.

1507
01:28:17.540 --> 01:28:22.280
Well, Sarah, I will say this and I will ask,

1508
01:28:22.560 --> 01:28:26.000
we actually, how many times I could say this to the ladies in this community?

1509
01:28:29.000 --> 01:28:33.300
Pursuit doesn't necessarily mean somebody asks you to go out to dinner with them first.

1510
01:28:35.560 --> 01:28:41.560
A pursuit is a reciprocal thing that a man is buying in. You're going to know when he buys in,

1511
01:28:41.660 --> 01:28:48.580
even if he asks you out for a date one time, it's beyond the first time where you go out with me.

1512
01:28:48.580 --> 01:28:51.560
Do you want that experience? I'm not trying to take it away from you,

1513
01:28:51.860 --> 01:28:53.800
but that doesn't equal pursuit.

1514
01:28:57.420 --> 01:29:03.280
Pursuit is bigger than that. Like this idea that they are, that they are buying in

1515
01:29:03.280 --> 01:29:09.340
and saying, I want a plan. I want to do this. I want to do that. Like it comes with the process.

1516
01:29:09.460 --> 01:29:13.060
If it doesn't show up, then you shouldn't be, you shouldn't be talking to them.

1517
01:29:13.260 --> 01:29:18.420
Yeah, that makes sense. And I think you're saying, go ahead. You're saying the, when it's,

1518
01:29:18.440 --> 01:29:23.100
when, when it's just starting or when people are just showing interest, it can be from either side,

1519
01:29:23.140 --> 01:29:26.900
but then eventually both people should be reciprocating and pursuing.

1520
01:29:27.540 --> 01:29:31.280
That's true. Cause I like what you say. You're just showing interest right now.

1521
01:29:31.460 --> 01:29:37.360
Let's, let's label it. That was a really good way. You're just showing interest. That's all

1522
01:29:37.360 --> 01:29:42.120
you were doing. Now, if you got on the phone and told me like you show interest, you suggested

1523
01:29:42.160 --> 01:29:49.560
coffee. He says, yes. And then you told him, Hey, I had a great time. He wants to keep texting you,

1524
01:29:49.640 --> 01:29:55.320
but he hadn't asked you to go anywhere. You would by no means ask that man to go out on a date with

1525
01:29:55.320 --> 01:29:59.820
you. Does that make sense? You would not initiate.

1526
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.080
date with him after that you said hey let's grab coffee he's like that sounds great you go after

1527
01:30:07.080 --> 01:30:12.360
coffee you you leave and you was like hey man i had such a great time you've expressed that you

1528
01:30:12.360 --> 01:30:17.120
had a great time and then he still want to talk every day but two weeks passed by he hasn't

1529
01:30:17.120 --> 01:30:23.720
mentioned going anywhere with you he hasn't asked you to go out you wouldn't in turn say to him

1530
01:30:23.720 --> 01:30:30.560
would you like to go get coffee again no no no no no now it's time for him to show up

1531
01:30:30.560 --> 01:30:35.620
that is what you mean pursuit that right there is him showing an interest in you

1532
01:30:35.620 --> 01:30:39.560
and him saying i want to spend time with you that is a very important piece

1533
01:30:40.600 --> 01:30:46.580
a lot of times we get all set here ladies when we tell you that because you are initiating

1534
01:30:46.600 --> 01:30:51.600
conversation he doesn't initiate some first that he's not pursuing you that's just not true

1535
01:30:54.780 --> 01:31:01.060
but if i go ahead no you guys i was just gonna make sure i understand what you're saying so if

1536
01:31:01.060 --> 01:31:09.920
i if i basically initiated the first our first date then i should i should not come back later

1537
01:31:09.920 --> 01:31:18.040
and ask him to go on another date no okay he should show that he's interested in getting to

1538
01:31:18.040 --> 01:31:22.920
know you and but if he doesn't ever say anything then just leave it at that and just move on

1539
01:31:22.920 --> 01:31:28.620
well he's telling you that maybe he's not interested so let's say if you know he's

1540
01:31:28.620 --> 01:31:33.920
talking to you every day and say oh you know we've been chatting a lot or i don't know what

1541
01:31:33.920 --> 01:31:39.740
you like i i would just see like you could measure his interest in you you're gonna know

1542
01:31:39.740 --> 01:31:43.960
if he's interested in getting to know you if he just wants to keep chatting so if you're looking

1543
01:31:43.960 --> 01:31:47.900
at two weeks and he hasn't mentioned anything about you guys going out now this is hypothetical

1544
01:31:47.900 --> 01:31:52.800
because i can't make a law out of it because i don't know the situation right or it's not a rule

1545
01:31:52.960 --> 01:31:57.540
but let's just say y'all going on y'all went out to coffee you told him how great of a time

1546
01:31:57.540 --> 01:32:02.360
you've been enjoying him and y'all are two weeks let's say he may need to get a paycheck right

1547
01:32:02.360 --> 01:32:07.160
give him two weeks maybe he ain't got no money reasons why he hadn't asked you out yet right

1548
01:32:07.720 --> 01:32:11.100
so we'll give it two weeks y'all have been chatting really liking each other

1549
01:32:11.120 --> 01:32:18.700
he hasn't said anything about going out on the date you could say um now you could be

1550
01:32:18.980 --> 01:32:25.380
you could you could be really up front and you'd be like hey i noticed that you hadn't asked me back

1551
01:32:25.380 --> 01:32:33.620
out again do you have any intentions on us uh hanging out again you can say that you can ask

1552
01:32:33.620 --> 01:32:39.540
do you have any intentions on you guys hanging out again and let him speak for himself right

1553
01:32:39.540 --> 01:32:46.400
you can let him know that you um learn people best through experience

1554
01:32:47.580 --> 01:32:53.580
right so it's been fun chatting and getting to know you i noticed that you haven't initiate any

1555
01:32:53.580 --> 01:32:58.820
type of other outing however you want to say it he's going to speak for himself he has had

1556
01:32:58.820 --> 01:33:05.240
something to say but i would give it a week or two weeks right okay because somebody don't do

1557
01:33:05.240 --> 01:33:10.840
in a week doesn't mean they could be busy but sarah if a man is interested in you you're not

1558
01:33:10.840 --> 01:33:19.600
going to have to think like this what if a man is you don't have to think that you really will

1559
01:33:19.600 --> 01:33:23.320
not have to think if this man is interested if he's not interested in you you're gonna know

1560
01:33:25.400 --> 01:33:29.440
because he is not going to he's not going now we can call

1561
01:33:29.440 --> 01:33:33.220
maybe a pursuit there's it's not gonna be there and you'll know

1562
01:33:35.240 --> 01:33:40.700
and you have this community to post and ask the question you don't have to be anxious and a lot of

1563
01:33:40.700 --> 01:33:47.520
times we initiate things too because it causes us to feel safe i am a very have a stronger personality

1564
01:33:47.640 --> 01:33:54.500
more uh dominant like i feel safe with just knowing not like i have to figure stuff out

1565
01:33:54.520 --> 01:33:57.840
but if it's an elephant in the room i'm gonna be the one to bring up the elephant

1566
01:33:58.040 --> 01:34:04.740
like look seems like we got a problem seems to tell me what's happening what happened you know

1567
01:34:04.740 --> 01:34:09.760
that's just me what happened i feel safe knowing what happened i feel safe being able to address

1568
01:34:09.760 --> 01:34:15.460
the issue like did i offend you did i hurt you tell me what is it whatever it is give it to me

1569
01:34:15.500 --> 01:34:23.040
i'll deal with me i can handle i'll hold up for me but what's happening here and so maybe um you

1570
01:34:23.040 --> 01:34:28.380
feel safe when you uh say hey like you you want to grab a cup of coffee get to know each other

1571
01:34:28.380 --> 01:34:31.780
because if not i'm not gonna waste my time talking to somebody i don't know how they look i don't

1572
01:34:31.780 --> 01:34:36.400
know who you are i haven't divorced and i'm not gonna invest talking to you every night and i

1573
01:34:36.400 --> 01:34:44.040
haven't met you and i haven't seen you like that's a real that's a real way for you to operate then

1574
01:34:44.040 --> 01:34:49.000
you may have another woman who likes to talk a little bit more before she goes out neither one

1575
01:34:49.000 --> 01:34:59.980
of you are wrong in your approach there are no cookie cutters in this group we have a lot of

1576
01:34:59.960 --> 01:34:59.980
you

1577
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:10.160
for. So I just ask if I just don't, I think that you being

1578
01:35:10.160 --> 01:35:13.480
concerned that by you initiating conversation that is pursuit, I

1579
01:35:13.480 --> 01:35:15.400
just don't agree that there's pursuit.

1580
01:35:17.460 --> 01:35:19.840
Well, not initiating conversation, but initiating a

1581
01:35:19.840 --> 01:35:24.460
date, if they're very slow to like, do anything or say

1582
01:35:24.460 --> 01:35:27.000
anything. And I'm like, let's, let's get this show on the road.

1583
01:35:27.020 --> 01:35:28.300
Like, ask me out already.

1584
01:35:28.300 --> 01:35:34.420
Okay, I'll tell you what, stop yourself. Next one, let's be

1585
01:35:34.420 --> 01:35:39.940
your practice. Don't ask and wait. You initiate, you

1586
01:35:39.940 --> 01:35:44.480
exchange numbers and you start chatting and you wait. Don't do

1587
01:35:44.480 --> 01:35:48.080
it again. Stop yourself. You have the ability to stop

1588
01:35:47.960 --> 01:35:51.760
yourself. Don't you don't make a law within yourself that I just

1589
01:35:51.760 --> 01:35:57.660
can't do this. You can do it. If you want that if you want him to

1590
01:35:57.660 --> 01:36:05.720
ask you out, stop asking people out. Now, if something comes up

1591
01:36:05.720 --> 01:36:09.620
in you a fear that but what if they don't ask me, we need to

1592
01:36:09.620 --> 01:36:16.340
deal with it. Because if they don't ask you, you don't go. And

1593
01:36:16.340 --> 01:36:19.220
you stop talking to them because you're interested in live dates.

1594
01:36:24.320 --> 01:36:28.520
I see something happening already. Like your eyes are

1595
01:36:28.520 --> 01:36:30.640
blinking like your body is like, what?

1596
01:36:33.960 --> 01:36:38.380
But just just don't do it again. Don't ask somebody to talk with

1597
01:36:38.380 --> 01:36:42.480
you. Try it for three weeks. See where you get. So I can initiate

1598
01:36:42.520 --> 01:36:47.380
a conversation but not like be the one that suggests a date.

1599
01:36:47.480 --> 01:36:48.620
Don't suggest a date.

1600
01:36:49.080 --> 01:36:54.660
Okay. And just see how that goes. What comes up? I think you

1601
01:36:55.080 --> 01:36:59.600
should just just don't. If you want to experience someone asking

1602
01:36:59.600 --> 01:37:04.040
you out, just know that they may not go at your pace and be okay

1603
01:37:04.140 --> 01:37:09.000
with it. Because your husband ain't gonna be at your pace. God

1604
01:37:09.000 --> 01:37:12.080
ain't even at our pace. If God was on our pace, all of us would

1605
01:37:12.080 --> 01:37:14.220
have a man. Y'all wouldn't be sitting up in your coaching

1606
01:37:14.220 --> 01:37:17.100
session with me. Y'all be somewhere laid up in the bed

1607
01:37:17.100 --> 01:37:19.500
twinkling your little toes. So my babe, I'm ready to go to

1608
01:37:21.540 --> 01:37:23.920
sleep. Let go to bed, right?

1609
01:37:28.520 --> 01:37:32.940
Just try it. You're in a very good space in life, Sarah, where

1610
01:37:32.940 --> 01:37:35.560
you get to discover yourself, you get to deal with whatever

1611
01:37:35.560 --> 01:37:38.760
fears are coming up, whatever hesitations are coming up. And

1612
01:37:38.760 --> 01:37:43.100
when it comes up, say where, why is this here? What is this?

1613
01:37:47.600 --> 01:37:52.220
And put yourself under subject. Submit yourself. Tell yourself

1614
01:37:52.240 --> 01:37:56.540
no. You know, you ever want to eat like some donut, ice cream

1615
01:37:56.540 --> 01:37:58.400
or something, you'd be like, I'm not gonna eat sugar. I don't

1616
01:37:58.400 --> 01:38:01.420
know what you got going on. And you make yourself say no. Are

1617
01:38:01.420 --> 01:38:06.700
you crying? Oh, man. Oh, Lord, it's 830. What is happening?

1618
01:38:07.620 --> 01:38:12.180
I think I just, I'm in a season of life where I just like feel

1619
01:38:12.180 --> 01:38:19.960
lonely. And so I think I'm just like, so maybe that's why I want

1620
01:38:19.960 --> 01:38:24.740
things to happen faster. Because I just want people in my life.

1621
01:38:27.260 --> 01:38:30.720
Yeah, that's good. What else are you experiencing right now?

1622
01:38:33.000 --> 01:38:33.560
What?

1623
01:38:34.280 --> 01:38:37.400
What else are you experiencing right now? Inside of your body?

1624
01:38:37.480 --> 01:38:38.460
Like, what are you experiencing?

1625
01:38:42.440 --> 01:38:43.520
I don't know.

1626
01:38:44.240 --> 01:38:44.820
That's it?

1627
01:38:45.060 --> 01:38:46.480
I guess so.

1628
01:38:46.360 --> 01:38:49.160
Yeah. And do you have community?

1629
01:38:50.240 --> 01:38:55.840
I mean, I do to a degree. I would like a lot more, like a lot

1630
01:38:55.840 --> 01:38:56.540
deeper community.

1631
01:38:57.180 --> 01:38:59.900
So you would like closer connections and more?

1632
01:39:00.500 --> 01:39:05.840
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I have, like, I feel like I'm headed in the

1633
01:39:05.840 --> 01:39:10.780
right direction with like, my community and connections. But,

1634
01:39:11.260 --> 01:39:14.740
you know, like, like everything else in life, it just takes a lot

1635
01:39:14.740 --> 01:39:19.560
longer than you want it to take. And I just like, I have people that

1636
01:39:19.560 --> 01:39:22.460
are like consistently in my life. And I have like, you know, a group

1637
01:39:22.460 --> 01:39:26.420
of people that I'm consistently around, but I don't have a lot of

1638
01:39:27.080 --> 01:39:30.420
like, I guess, like closer relationships, you know, like people

1639
01:39:30.420 --> 01:39:34.340
that you meet with one on one, like, I, I do that with people, but

1640
01:39:34.340 --> 01:39:38.940
it's more like just one off type situations, like, go out with this

1641
01:39:38.940 --> 01:39:43.680
one time, this person, and I, I would like, just more consistent,

1642
01:39:43.800 --> 01:39:48.660
like deeper connections with people. So yeah, like, that's up

1643
01:39:48.660 --> 01:39:51.100
until I started this program, that's what I've been more focused

1644
01:39:51.100 --> 01:39:54.460
on, because I realized that I would like cling to guys a lot

1645
01:39:54.460 --> 01:39:59.060
faster, because I didn't have, like good community in my life. So

1646
01:39:59.060 --> 01:39:59.980
I was like, Okay, I'm going to focus

1647
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.000
on just building community and just trust that in the process that I'm going to meet somebody,

1648
01:40:05.260 --> 01:40:10.160
you know, and like not focus on that, like instead focus on building community. So that's

1649
01:40:10.160 --> 01:40:17.020
what I've been doing. Yeah, but it's still in process. It is a process. Building relationships

1650
01:40:17.180 --> 01:40:22.800
is a process. And that's why when we get into dating relationships and we want to go like a

1651
01:40:23.000 --> 01:40:30.060
that's our, that's our sign to us that this is not how this works, right? Because even

1652
01:40:30.280 --> 01:40:34.820
building relationships with people, just regular people you're not even dating takes time.

1653
01:40:34.960 --> 01:40:42.340
And so I want to pray into that, Sarah. I am so happy that you let this out, right?

1654
01:40:42.840 --> 01:40:46.640
This is the thing, like when I say ask yourself a question about what's happening in you and

1655
01:40:46.640 --> 01:40:50.340
there are other ladies, you didn't see it in the chat, probably they're just saying that they feel

1656
01:40:50.340 --> 01:40:55.300
the same way and that it sucks to be, have those seasons of loneliness, to have those feelings of

1657
01:40:55.980 --> 01:41:03.780
loneliness. And so I'm going to pray that God attracts more people to you to do close community

1658
01:41:04.120 --> 01:41:07.940
with, right? Like somebody you can call at three o'clock in the morning. It's like, I'm sick. I'm

1659
01:41:07.940 --> 01:41:12.300
throwing my guts up and I need you to go CVS and get some medicine and you're not afraid to do it,

1660
01:41:12.300 --> 01:41:17.560
right? Like, oh, I hope they'll come through for me. Like that type of closeness in community.

1661
01:41:17.560 --> 01:41:23.760
And I believe that because there's something you are pursuing, you know, the Bible says that God

1662
01:41:23.760 --> 01:41:29.640
puts the lonely in family. That's the scripture. And so I just want to declare that over your life,

1663
01:41:29.900 --> 01:41:34.100
Sarah, that God puts the lonely in family and everyone else here is experiencing that,

1664
01:41:34.140 --> 01:41:39.100
that you don't have close-knit community around you. You were made for close-knit community.

1665
01:41:39.240 --> 01:41:45.020
You were made for a tribe. You belong somewhere. And I just declare over your life that God puts

1666
01:41:45.020 --> 01:41:49.160
lonely in community. And I ask that God would begin to do that in your life now,

1667
01:41:49.200 --> 01:41:54.440
that he will begin to attract you to people where you will get to have special, special

1668
01:41:54.920 --> 01:41:59.380
relationships that last for the rest of your life, that they walk with you in this season and the

1669
01:41:59.380 --> 01:42:04.040
next season to come. And so Father God, I thank you for your women. I thank you for each and

1670
01:42:04.040 --> 01:42:09.180
every one of them. I thank you, Lord God, that those lonely spaces are leaving them because

1671
01:42:09.180 --> 01:42:16.180
you are the God that fill all spaces and you do it so well. And so God, I thank you for expanding

1672
01:42:16.200 --> 01:42:22.080
their tent pegs. I think about the scripture that says, Lord, increase me. And so I just stretch out

1673
01:42:22.080 --> 01:42:27.000
the tent pegs of your life. And I declare that community is coming in and they're coming in

1674
01:42:27.000 --> 01:42:31.560
really close, that you won't have these surface level relationships, but you will have deep,

1675
01:42:31.700 --> 01:42:38.940
intimate, close relationships that the Lord God himself has orchestrated in Jesus name. Amen.

1676
01:42:42.880 --> 01:42:50.560
Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Oh, yeah. You're welcome, Sarah. Yeah, you're welcome. You don't have to

1677
01:42:50.560 --> 01:42:55.640
look in a dating pool for what heaven is going to provide for you outside of a dating pool.

1678
01:42:56.260 --> 01:43:03.480
No, he's sending community to you. That's his heart for you. And so I'm excited to see what

1679
01:43:03.480 --> 01:43:07.540
that looks like for you. You don't have to substitute one for the other. We don't have a

1680
01:43:07.540 --> 01:43:15.060
substitution. Yeah. You know, the Bible says that God reward those that diligently seek him,

1681
01:43:15.840 --> 01:43:21.260
that when we come before him and diligence and seek him, he rewards. And so I just declare that

1682
01:43:21.260 --> 01:43:26.620
the Lord is passing out rewards for all of you ladies. I don't know your journeys. I don't have

1683
01:43:26.620 --> 01:43:31.280
to know them, but the Lord knows what you have been diligent in. The Lord knows what you have

1684
01:43:31.280 --> 01:43:36.740
believed him for. The Lord knows what you have not let go of because you have believed to see

1685
01:43:36.740 --> 01:43:41.720
goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And so I just declare that our good father is

1686
01:43:41.720 --> 01:43:47.420
handing out rewards on tonight and God, we thank you for them. And I am believing that we're going

1687
01:43:47.420 --> 01:43:54.280
to hear testimony after testimony coming from the women on this call right now of the reward that

1688
01:43:54.280 --> 01:44:02.600
the father has given you. And so that's exciting. So are we agreed, Sarah, that you're going to wait

1689
01:44:02.600 --> 01:44:09.040
for the next one to see if they're going to move? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try that.

1690
01:44:09.600 --> 01:44:13.800
I want you to try it. I think you're going to enjoy it and it's going to bring peace to you.

1691
01:44:14.560 --> 01:44:22.300
Yeah. It's hard and we're going to get off the line, but it's hard to be having feelings of

1692
01:44:22.740 --> 01:44:28.380
loneliness and keep initiating because what happens is it keeps sending a message back to

1693
01:44:28.380 --> 01:44:33.920
you that it could say that you got to do everything. If you didn't do it, who would come?

1694
01:44:35.220 --> 01:44:39.880
And you got to do it. And so even though you're doing it because you want to feel something,

1695
01:44:39.880 --> 01:44:44.860
it keeps sending a message back to you when you do do it. And we're declaring that you won't get

1696
01:44:44.860 --> 01:44:50.520
a message back that way again. That's not your message to be had. If something's going to happen,

1697
01:44:50.600 --> 01:44:55.060
doesn't mean Sarah has to do it. You have a God who fights for you, who works on your behalf,

1698
01:44:55.060 --> 01:44:58.180
and he's waiting to do it for you. And that's for all of us.

1699
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.840
Yeah, any other thoughts you're having

1700
01:45:07.260 --> 01:45:09.740
No, I don't think so, yeah

1701
01:45:10.580 --> 01:45:15.580
Yeah, if you do have some more thoughts and they come up write them down and post them so that we can

1702
01:45:16.440 --> 01:45:18.560
So that we can share in them with you

1703
01:45:19.480 --> 01:45:25.640
You don't have to live alone with your thoughts your fears your words your concerns. I don't care how crazy you sound

1704
01:45:25.640 --> 01:45:30.280
Everything better when you just get it out open up the windows and let the light in

1705
01:45:31.880 --> 01:45:34.480
That's right. Let the lighting get this stuff out

1706
01:45:35.560 --> 01:45:37.400
Get it out

1707
01:45:38.600 --> 01:45:44.820
Yeah, I do resonate with what you were saying a minute ago about like it sends a message back to you every time like

1708
01:45:44.840 --> 01:45:45.980
oh like if

1709
01:45:46.380 --> 01:45:50.360
you know if I want to hang out with people like I always have to be the one to ask like

1710
01:45:50.580 --> 01:45:52.600
You know or like if I want to go on a date

1711
01:45:52.600 --> 01:45:55.560
Well, I better ask somebody on a date cuz nobody's gonna ask me

1712
01:45:57.940 --> 01:45:59.680
Yeah, so yeah

1713
01:45:59.920 --> 01:46:06.320
Let's rest. Let's rest and see what our good father does on your behalf and how he wants to show up in this season

1714
01:46:06.360 --> 01:46:11.960
He wants to show up. There's a way he wants. He wants to express himself. Oh

1715
01:46:11.960 --> 01:46:12.560
That's great

1716
01:46:13.640 --> 01:46:14.160
Yeah

1717
01:46:15.400 --> 01:46:17.000
Let's try that

1718
01:46:17.240 --> 01:46:19.560
Okay. Thank you. You're welcome

1719
01:46:19.560 --> 01:46:24.300
All right, it's so good to see you too pretty I'm glad that this was helpful for you

1720
01:46:24.300 --> 01:46:26.820
And yes, Laura like in phase one

1721
01:46:26.820 --> 01:46:31.680
You made a comment you say like in this phase like you've gotten through the videos already and it's not that you're rushing

1722
01:46:31.760 --> 01:46:35.260
Like that is totally totally a real thing

1723
01:46:35.260 --> 01:46:41.740
Especially because listen to Jackie can be intoxicating sometimes but she's so charismatic and she know how to say just what you need to hear

1724
01:46:41.900 --> 01:46:46.420
And so I understand that if you've made it through those videos Laura already

1725
01:46:46.420 --> 01:46:53.360
It's from the comment you made earlier, I guess it's not like phase one with hard work and having to like peek through things

1726
01:46:54.380 --> 01:46:54.900
so

1727
01:46:55.880 --> 01:47:00.720
You are welcome and Felicia. We're still praying for you. We pray for strength for your heart

1728
01:47:00.800 --> 01:47:06.600
Um, you guys if you didn't know last week, she lost her brother and so continue to pray for her

1729
01:47:06.960 --> 01:47:11.160
We love you, Felicia. We know that God is with you and

1730
01:47:11.160 --> 01:47:13.420
Don't don't rush the process

1731
01:47:13.860 --> 01:47:20.840
Your tears your grief is honor to your brother. It's the love that you have for him. And so, um, yeah

1732
01:47:21.420 --> 01:47:22.740
We're with you

1733
01:47:23.040 --> 01:47:27.000
And we we we care about you and we're praying for you

1734
01:47:28.600 --> 01:47:33.380
Yeah, okay ladies you guys have been amazing I see you Laura

1735
01:47:33.380 --> 01:47:35.180
I don't get to hear from you much these days

1736
01:47:35.180 --> 01:47:41.160
But you know, I'm thinking about you and Nikki and Jodi and Claudia and Alicia and everybody that I didn't hear from

1737
01:47:41.480 --> 01:47:46.980
Hello. Good night, and I look forward to hearing your voice next time Laurie and

1738
01:47:47.720 --> 01:47:52.080
Patty and Nikki and people that I have her and Lauren Nichols

1739
01:47:52.080 --> 01:47:55.960
I know I gotta go Lauren, but I need you to post the update about this guy

1740
01:47:55.960 --> 01:47:59.260
You went out on a date with oh good to see your face Laurie

1741
01:48:01.680 --> 01:48:06.420
Okay, all right ladies you have a good night and we'll talk soon good night

1742
01:48:09.700 --> 01:48:16.100
Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Thank you ladies everyone

1743
01:48:19.300 --> 01:48:22.780
Beautiful good night. Good night everyone