Oh, it's weird, it didn't ask if I want to record to the cloud.
One second.
Oh, maybe it's something fancy new.
Anyway, I hope you ladies have been having a really good day.
It's so good to see all of you all.
So, we'll get started.
I'm trying to see as I look around, it's just a few of us.
Is this anyone's first time?
You Crystal?
Okay.
Oh yeah, it's mine too.
It's yours too?
Yeah.
Who else?
Renee, it's your first time also?
Yeah.
Yep.
Is it your first time in a coaching session or just the first time at 8pm?
Just the first time for tonight.
Okay.
What about you, Alexandra?
Yeah, first time in the Phase 2 coaching.
Oh, okay.
Same for you, Crystal.
First time in Phase 2 coaching?
Yes, it is.
Well, welcome.
It's nice that it's smaller, I guess.
I like that.
Yeah.
Oh, then which one?
Then, um, hard work.
Yeah, so Phase 2 for some reason is smaller than Phase 3.
The LYS is much, much, much, much, much larger.
And then I think we all start out running the race.
Something happens in between and then something happens on the other side.
But it's so good to have you ladies here tonight.
I'm excited and I'm so happy that you're in Phase 2.
I will forever say, I think I've been, I did the program probably about three and a half,
three years ago.
I keep adding a little bit, take away every time I see it.
But this was, this phase of the program was my absolute favorite because it helped me grow
and build muscles that I did not know exist and I did not know needed to be worked.
I had a plan in my mind, but then Jackie was my coach.
And so, you know, she has a strong, a strong way.
And so she really helped me grow this program, changed my life.
It helped to create the woman that I am now.
And I'm thankful for it.
And dating really progressed the process for me.
And so I had a lot of arguments.
Every argument I hear, it is one that I had.
A lot of thoughts, a lot of things I believe, a lot of things I was so sure of.
But this has helped me so much.
And I hope that you ladies enjoy this journey as much as I have.
I'm excited and so thankful, privileged and honored.
I tell you, the delight is all mine to get to do this journey with you all.
So thank you for trusting us here at LYS.
We are grateful for what heaven is doing in your life.
And so we ask that you try to watch one video each week, however you want to do it.
Take some time, reflect on it.
Ideally, Phase 2 is about four to five weeks, five or six weeks.
You can stay as long as you want.
And then when you're ready to transition, you just look up in the resources.
And it tells you how to send your email to move into Phase 3.
And so we do ask that you try not to post anything from outside sources in the community group.
And the reason why we ask that is because we like to make everyone feel safe.
And so if it's not something from Jackie, we don't want someone to be triggered
or to give somebody the wrong information that's not been vetted.
But if there's something you're very passionate about, we do ask that you send it to admin
and they will filter through it or make a decision about it.
And then you'll feel free to post.
We do ask that you encourage each other.
Read what each other posts.
You're going to find out that we're not much apart in difference or have the same struggles
or have the same thoughts or feel the same way at some point in the journey
because it's such an up and down process.
Sometimes it's really high and sometimes it's low and sometimes it's low, low.
But we're in a community and we get to share.
And so that's why we ask that you guys check out the wall, keep us up to date.
We like to be a part of your journey and to help you make those hard decisions.
And even when you need a shoulder to cry on because you didn't like how you processed it
or did something, we're here for you.
We want to help you with it.
That's my spiel.
Any questions for me?
I live in Austin, Texas.
I am right now I'm a third grade ELAR teacher.
And that's what I get to do every day.
And I'm excited for Thanksgiving break and Christmas break.
That's what I'm thinking about.
Other than that, that's it.
This phase, I do want to say this.
It's not just about dating.
It's all about you.
So I don't ever want you to feel like you shouldn't
come to coaching because you're not dating
or you don't have any dates to report.
I'll pull up this question.
Because it's all about you, the hard work that you've done
is going to get expanded, stretched,
and tried in all areas of life.
It's not just going to be in dating.
Nothing does it quite like dating,
but you're going to get it all over.
Did you meet someone and get married?
No.
I have met a lot of people, but I am not married yet.
And so, yeah.
Any other questions for me?
You can ask any time.
I want you to feel completely comfortable asking
any questions that you have.
Did you say, oh, sorry, it's four to five weeks
you recommend to be in this?
Is that what you said?
It's typically about four to five weeks long.
I don't want to say long, four to five weeks move pretty fast.
But yeah, because it's about four to five videos.
And so we say if you're watching your videos,
doing your check-ins, and kind of growing with the process.
But yeah.
Cool, thank you.
You're welcome.
All right, anything else?
Well, cool.
We're going to jump right in, because we always
run short on time.
And I want us to stick with our time tonight.
And so, yes, Sina.
Why didn't I just say it right, girl?
You did say it right.
Oh, OK.
I wanted to share for encouragement,
because I went to this speed dating event once, right?
And I was like, oh, I don't think this is for me.
Then I got invited again for free.
And I'm so glad I went the second time,
because it was a lot better.
And then I found a Christian one, which is even better.
And that's next week.
But I just wanted to share for encouragement
that if we try it once, maybe we should give it another chance.
And that was it.
Yeah, that's so encouraging.
It's so awesome.
I was talking with someone yesterday,
and they were like, it's a speed dating event coming up.
Want to go with me?
I'm like, I've always wanted to go on a speed dating event.
Yeah, so thanks for sharing.
I was wondering if they had Christian speed dating events.
I had to pray about it, and then God showed me,
yep, here's one.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Where are you located?
Are you in Canada?
No, I'm in SoCal, Southern California.
Oh, OK.
OK, all right.
Thanks for sharing.
Dee, what's going on, lady?
How are you feeling?
Hello.
Yeah, I'm getting there slowly.
I'm not 100%, but I'm pushing through.
And I, yeah, I'm just trying to call
before my head starts spinning again.
But thank you and hello.
And your hair looks great.
Oh, thank you.
So, yeah, I wanted to share.
Thanks for your responses.
I saw them this morning.
So thanks for those.
I just wanted to just share a bit about what's happening,
just in case, you know.
Again, because I'm a little off and not feeling well,
I don't know if that's what's making me feel a certain way
about it all.
And it might just be that.
And then again, I don't know if I'm just going off
certain people.
I mean, I'm trying to give myself grace
and just try and get over this thing,
whatever this bug is, whatever it is, you know.
But what's really nice is Mr. Long Distance,
he's been really on it.
I mean, even, you know, since the message,
the recent message that I put up in the app,
he, like yesterday, was just popping up,
praying for more healing, D, hang in there.
And then today, I hope today you feel better
and continue in that direction.
And just really, you know, it's just nice,
positive little notes.
I'm still obviously reserved.
You know me, I'm not getting attached.
I haven't, we still haven't had our video call yet.
And it's all waiting on me now to get better,
to have this call.
But it's just nice.
I just wanted to express that it's nice
that someone's there that's just,
not that there aren't people in my world
that are doing this too,
but you know, someone on the dating front
who's just being positive and brought in that element,
you know, just popping in with those positive messages,
which is so nice.
And then there's also Mr. Man, Man, Man, Man.
And he was like, man, man, man, and then man, man.
I don't know, man, man, man.
And I was like, okay.
I don't know if you saw that he, yeah,
he got injured around the same time that I was sick.
And so, who's that with the eyes?
um i was trying to wonder about this man man i'll tell you what i tell you what i don't want to say
the wrong thing because i'm british and like there's i've got perceptions of what you know
like the same thing but this man is a man like he's the real deal like the real deal and i'm
just like yes yes okay you know but anyway the point is is that um i saw some flags
uh all along and again it could be just me being like you know and i'm not attached
you know i mean i'm doing the thing where i'm just dating to discover and there's not nothing
outrageous um he's been an absolute gentleman and so he's masking the things that gentlemen
should mask in front of a lady does that make sense so on one hand that's good you know he
how to behave himself for want of a better term and he's a gentleman as well um i can give an
example for instance um something he said a while ago about drinking um and again you know this was
like the first date and i i'm learning you know from you and carla right there's certain things
to not go down don't talk about certain things and i didn't want to jump on it it was just a
impression that he may have had a drinking problem before and again that doesn't mean anything
you know i'm not making judgment it just i just thought you know just keep it just keep it in in
mind just in case you know observe and just see if it's an issue that makes sense we're just dating
to get to know each other we're not doing anything serious at this point he wasn't being belligerently
drunk he wasn't talking about anything yeah you know so it wasn't like a big red flag but it was
just a mention of something to just keep in my mind um and i've moved on you know that was like
a few dates ago and then recently he um i mean again this might be tiny so please tell me if
i'm just just not well oh yeah what was the comment that you said i didn't hear the comment oh it was
like a it was okay so there's this song um so there's this song and we both love music and
there's a song i won't repeat the title because it has a swear word in it and i i only know the
song from years ago it's a really good song so it's not about the title okay and he didn't even
express the title because it of the word but this really good song is like a catchy rock and roll
that makes sense anyway so it's about it's about alcohol it's about recovery it's about
it's deep like it's about being in drug recovery alcohol recovery it's about that and that's the
actual right so it's what the song's about and we were just about songs we like catchy catchy songs
and so you mentioned this song it's like i don't know if you know and you started humming the and
i totally knew the rhythm because i'm a musician right so um we're just humming the rhythm kind
of thing i'm like that's such a good song talk about the song itself and he said something about
but what hit me when he first learned it was what it's actually about and i'm a lyricist so and i
really understand lyrics and what they're really about if that makes sense and so i actually said
oh i actually understand because a lot of people don't get it like you know it's a good song so
they wouldn't understand what it means and it's quite a deep song about deep dark times you know
in in recovery or addiction and then it was it seemed as though he just said he related to it i
kind of i don't think it's deliberately i kind of blocked it because i didn't want to take it in if
that makes sense and because it was light and he didn't it wasn't a deep comment it was just a kind
of it's his it's his favorite it used to be his favorite karaoke song because he could really
relate it was kind of comment like that oh okay right so it wasn't like uh you know i don't know
but that was what happened and i didn't again it was the very first day it was within the first 20
minutes and i was just like and then we just kept talking about the song and other music and then
we carried on you know so that's it so that was like my first if it had to be maybe a pal yellow
flag i don't know um and and just trying to be aware these days and not let things gloss over me
which i used to do like i just sing one ear out the other and not really pay attention if that
i've mentioned to you that i'm not really i like i'd rather text more with someone i really know
or you know enough that we can text back and forth we're still getting to know each other
and so he mentioned something i think it was over the phone actually swearing
and he didn't he's not cursed in front of me once um and i was really like i pretended to be offended
like he said he didn't even say the word and i was like i have this thing i said it in french
anywhere like killer you know i was just being funny and he said um something about swearing i
said oh i didn't know you swore and he said um and he actually responded as a general man he
didn't actually you know he was like he basically said of course yes he does swear but he didn't
push it
it was just like, you know, some people swear.
But one thing, again, it's not like I'm,
this is for marriage and I know people can change
and I'm not trying to change them.
And I just, well, you know, people swear, you know,
it's like that.
So I'm just raising it to you.
Again, it might just be me not being well
and just trying to pick fault and find problems
for an excuse.
So, you know, but anyway, that's what it is.
And that's it really.
What else is there?
The date their friend guy.
I haven't heard back, texted him back
because I don't like being asked out to go out by text.
Especially if you haven't spoken in months.
Like, no, call me.
That's how I am.
That's just me.
And I have asked you for guidance on that.
But with this particular person,
I found a good response to me at least.
It was, you know, feel free to call me.
I've been unwell.
I haven't responded so soon because I'm not well,
you know, still recovering.
But feel free to call me and we can discuss.
That's why I texted back.
And then I haven't heard back.
I'm not bothered.
But I've just, yeah, that's my kind of download for you.
I think I like, well, I like Mr. Man, man, man.
I do.
And I also know that he has traits
that I am typically attracted to
or have been for your heart work.
So that's why I'm on my go.
Maybe that's why I'm on my go and I'm trying to pick fault.
But he's a good person.
He's not been, you know, in any way mean.
He doesn't speak ill of his children's mother.
He's, you know, he's doing the right things
or, you know, mature, marriage-minded, masculine,
which I'm learning from you and Carla too.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I think that you were kind of asking the thoughts
about the couple of things that you didn't notice.
And I just think that they,
oh, you just get into Noah, like you said.
And it's really no big deal.
Yeah.
Just because of the stage that you're at.
Right.
If there were things that weren't in alignment
as you take your time,
those things will present themselves.
As long as you are paced within yourself,
then there's no concern.
And you are paced and you are dating others.
And so I think that is fine.
Awesome. Thank you.
And I know, you know, I found it really interesting
that as you mentioned pacing with me,
that it paced itself.
I love that.
So it's just kind of a way my life seems to work
where, you know, if I want something to happen,
it will just happen
without me having to make a comment about it
or whatever.
And it, you know, last week,
we didn't see each other for the first weekend
because he was doing his thing and I was recovering.
And so I like that, but I'm also,
I don't know why I'm bothered.
Like bothered, like, this is probably a few, you know,
I didn't want to see him
or I didn't want to have to say it to him.
If that makes sense.
Anyway, yeah.
So there we are.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dee.
It's a good update.
I'm happy for you.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Joanne.
Hi.
Hey.
Yeah, I have some really encouraging news
and some discouraging and encouraging.
So I found on my mom.
Is that what's found on my mom?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, that's okay.
We'll be inviting to the White House very soon.
Give me a second.
Yeah, go ahead and unmute yourself, Joanne.
Okay.
So then discouraging news is that my mom
has lung cancer, I think.
Oh, no.
Yeah, it's really disturbing
because I don't have the best relationship with my mom,
but like, I really love my mom.
So it's bringing up a lot of emotions.
And yesterday I was very emotional about different things.
I think it's just different triggers are coming up.
And like, I was kind of like feeling really stressed
talking to Tim, not because anything bad on his end.
It was just more like,
I don't even know how to navigate dating
and like being authentic.
But then like, I don't, I wanna cry.
Like, I was crying yesterday.
And I was just like,
I don't know how to navigate this with him.
And then we talked on the phone
and it was like so incredibly good
because I didn't know what to articulate or what to say,
like to tell him like where I was at.
And he was so like understanding and was like,
and I told, I started crying and I told him like,
I really don't have my,
I don't really don't have it together.
And I guess my friends.
I've told me like you you you look like you always have your stuff together and you're always like have your ducks in a row
so I think it was good for me to like
Actually, I end up crying
I didn't want to but I was like
I just feel I don't feel strong and I don't know how to navigate and I just don't have my stuff together
And he is like that's totally okay. And I was like, I don't actually don't like dating
Like I told my second time I've told I don't like dating because this is so it feels so unstable
Like people coming in and out of my life, you know, I lost my dad to cancer now
I'm like, oh gosh, I could be losing my mom to cancer anytime. I don't know when and it brings up like
Abandonment stuff which I will talk to my therapist about
Just like man. I don't want to be left alone with no family and I really want to be married
My mom's want to be married wanted me to be married forever
For 20 some years and I would love for my mom to see me get married before she goes
Away, you know
so
I
Was just so impressed so Ebony because he was so like Joanne. I don't whatever you need
I will be there for you
Like if you don't if it means like we don't date we're just hanging out as friends
Whatever it is that you need and then I ended up kind of DTR in with him because I'm like, well, I don't know
What do you want?
right
because I don't know what he feels and so it was kind of healing because I feel like I tend to be too much too
Soon and like kind of intense for a guy, but it seems like he didn't even think that
He was just like no, whatever you need. Tell me what you need. And I was like, oh I could use encouragement
I'm he loves to feed me, right?
And so I'm like actually right now I could really just use encouragement and prayers
and maybe I need a hug and I just need to cry and
and
like
Like just checking in with me like being able to like process how I'm feeling. He's like, oh, yeah, totally
Totally do
And I'm like, wow, this is amazing and he even said like even if it doesn't work out Joanne like I'll be your friend
Like that's what people are supposed to do as a body of Christ. And you know, it's so-called this guy
I kind of was like questioning his his level of like maturity with the Lord because he's very
Private and is kind of like doesn't want to tell people he's Christian
But it's really showing me like there's so much treasure in him like he's not the type of guy
I would like consider dating but I'm like, wow, like I'm actually getting really attracted to him because
He doesn't just talk
Talk that he doesn't just talk. He actually is showing me like well, I mean, it's very early but like
I'm here and that's what I really need
I was like, I don't want to go through another I don't want a date and then just
You know
invest more and share more of my heart and what I'm going through when I'm in such a vulnerable place and that person not be
Right. I just can't handle that with my mom and then this he's like
You know trying to reassure me, but of course some of this is my own stuff
So I'm seeing him right after we after we I mean, I finished the call. I'm going on another date
I'm going on three dates with him this week
Wow, yeah, I'm gonna go see him too. Well, he's of course he's treating me
to dinner which is so nice to a restaurant that I've been wanting to go to and
then I requested to like seeing more frequent and like
Smaller chunks and like a whole day
I'm not ready for a whole day and he's leaving to go to Taiwan for like a week and a half
So we're just doing those things. Oh, yeah, and then I did text them and say do you want to go to this pumpkin patch?
Let's do it and he's like, yeah, totally
So he's like so
accommodating and flexible and understanding that I'm like, I
Actually think this guy is very promising. Like I I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm like I couldn't see myself
in a relationship with this guy like honestly and
and
he takes and he
Implements the things that I ask him that guy tell him I really like this and he starts like doing those things
Like that's not natural for him like he's not a words of affirmation
I told him I really and then he starts like give me all this affirmation
And then he's like, I don't know. It just makes me really happy
I'm but I'm like kind of still freaked out though to be honest. Like I'm very sensitive and like at night I'm like
Processing this and I can't really sleep and it's still I I have some anxiety around it. I'm like, oh
You know, but I'm very like thankful. I
Feel like God wants to clean my slate and give me a
new dating experience and not be like, oh, no, doom and gloom.
This this thing is going to be pulled under me.
The guy is going to say, no, I don't want to do this anymore.
It's almost like he's had two people cheat on him.
And he's used to people doing that to him.
And I'm used to that, too, but not from cheating from just like,
I don't want to do this anymore.
And it's funny because we're both very like loyal people.
So I'm like, wow, this is kind of reassuring.
But we don't you know, we don't really know what's going to happen.
But I'm just really thankful. I'm really thankful.
Yeah, but it's hard because I'm like grieving about my mom
and working through those emotions.
And yeah, I'm like, I'm happy, but I'm scared.
And it's just like, oh, you know.
Yeah. I understand what you're saying, Jolene.
We're sorry about your mom.
Have they decided what stage she's in?
So she got a biopsy yesterday.
So we won't know until Thursday, but she just looked really bad.
She has mental illness already.
She's like bipolar and OCD.
So that's already really hard on her.
And she's very abusive growing up.
But yeah, I don't know what stage, but she's just been very, very like.
Very depressed, I would say. Yeah.
Well, I'm going to be praying for her and then we're going to be praying for you.
And we'll do that before we get off the call.
Matter of fact, let's just do that now.
Father God, I thank you for Jolene.
I know that you saw this day before it came.
And because you are the Alpha and Omega at the same time,
you don't take a choice beginning and then the end.
You get to be both at the same time.
I know that you are already at this place waiting for her to arrive.
I thank you, Father God, that you have everything that she needs.
I thank you that this is a season where she gets to walk hand in hand with you.
Sometimes she's going to know you as a father.
Sometimes she's going to know you as her friend.
In Jesus, she's going to know you as her elder brother.
And I thank you, Holy Spirit, that you're going to show up to
and you're going to give her wisdom and you're going to bring comfort
and peace to her heart, her mind, all the functionings of her body.
I thank you, God, that you are good in spite of,
that you are the one who suffers long.
And because you suffer long, we know that we can depend on you.
The Bible says that
that the Lord our God is a strong tower
and the righteous run in and we find safety.
And so right now, Father God, I just push Joanne into your arms,
into the place where you become her strong tower.
And she finds the safety that she needs for her soul.
I speak peace over her.
I speak rest over her.
And though a lot of things are happening all one time.
And there's a lot of emotions.
One thing about you, God, you are steady.
And she needs some steady.
And so, God, I thank you for being her
steady in this season, in Jesus name, amen.
Yeah, thank you.
Do you have any thoughts?
Because sometimes I still feel like I don't.
I don't want to, like, tell I don't I don't want to, like, ask or.
Say too much about, like, what I prefer,
he actually likes it for me to just tell him, like, straight up, like, he's like,
I can't realize remember last time you said, Joanne, you kind of and I'm like,
OK, so I just tell him directly, he really appreciates it.
But then I'm like, am I saying too much?
So well, Joanne, I think it's a really good
opportunity for you to practice showing up as you.
And so we we we you need to show up as you.
That's why a lot of times dating can be
such a scam because people refuse to show up as themselves.
And it's one thing to operate in
boundaries that guard in particular heart and boundaries that that provide for a
healthy growth, right, their boundaries that provide for healthy growth.
That's what we encourage.
Those were the boundaries serve you.
Right. But it's another thing to go against.
So so the boundaries that help you grow
safely and then there's the freedom that you have because you have these boundaries
in place like emotional boundaries and physical boundaries and spiritual
boundaries that you can be free.
And so it's time for you to show up as a person.
And not this is what I was getting to not hide behind.
Should I do this? I shouldn't do that.
A woman shouldn't do that. A woman shouldn't be this.
A woman should be that he can't.
Nobody can read your mind.
He's not going to read your mind.
He showed up and he told you what to do.
If you want something from me, say it to me.
So he's showing up and giving you the best that he had.
That's what he got.
So then it's up to you if you decide you're going to show up.
If you cross a boundary, you need to trust that this man is mature
enough to say that that doesn't work for me.
And if you don't know that then you're really not getting to know the person that you say you're getting to know
Right, and it's the same way you have to give him freedom to show up and be himself and you release yourself
You he's giving you freedom to be yourself
I think the best way to
Understand and know a person is to just show up and be Joanne and to see and experience him and to really know him
and so
Just do it
Go for it. The only thing that hinders us from being ourselves completely is a scarcity mindset or rejection or believing that we won't be
Accepted if we show up as us. Well, then it's a no-go
Anyway, who wants to be with somebody that doesn't choose them because you wouldn't have been chosen
There would have been a version of Joanne that's chosen and then when you get married you want to show up as Joanne
Well, that doesn't work. That's not right
So if you want him to show up fully then you show up fully
That makes sense nobody wants a version of you so just like you be like real and
Just be me like me. I mean, I am really real but like in dating
I feel like I have to do the right things or I don't want to mess up
I don't want to mess things up because there's all this like baggage around it, you know, and I work through I am working through
It's just I think I know what you're saying is like show up as who you really are not like guard yourself all the time and
Calculate this and wonder this and overanalyze and just be like, this is who I am
Yeah
The good and the bad not like I want to show you my bad but like this is I'm going through a hard time
You know Joanne just like a person can be I remember one time
I was talking to this guy and I just told the Lord. How about you? Just tell me this was my life
Just tell me if he's the one just tell me how about we take your always just tell me he said I will not tell
You because if I told you you're gonna start planning a wedding and you would forsake the process of getting to know this man
He said just like a person is kind. They can be not so kind just like they're good. They can be not so good
They're just like you and so you need to get to know a person
Because people are no different for everything. That is one thing. There's also another thing and
You need to learn how to make decisions
And it was the most eye-opening thing
he could have said to me because the truth is if God says this is the one you stop getting to know a person and
Then when you get on the other side, I do you say it's the Lord's fault
Because you refuse to get to know a person because you was too strong on getting to a wedding
And so they say this is it yeah, you don't need to know him they your husband now
You know, that's my wife
It was a guy and you skip the process of getting to know a person and then you blame them for being a person
We have to be real about the thing that people are people we are people we have shortcomings we have high points
We will also have shortcomings
We have areas in us that need to be cultivated
I don't care how much you love Jesus how many times you speak in how much you prophesy
You fall short every day of the goodness and the glory of God
The same grace that is sufficient for you is sufficient for someone else. We all need it and
When we seek out perfection in someone it tells us that there are areas in us
They still need to be healed because no one is perfect in
Marriage calls for us to cultivate one thing and somebody else that they need help with cultivating
And so I just want you to I want to I said that to encourage you join to show up if somebody's gonna choose them
You let them choose you
It is it is it is one of the most beautiful things when you are chosen
Everybody wants to be chosen, but you don't want to show up
Show up so when they say I choose you anyway, oh
My goodness I said, but I choose you anyway
When you flap the handle and you spiral out and they say I still choose you
That's being chosen
Not the person who got it all together
Not none of it. Everybody wants somebody who got it all together. Of course
Somebody who got it all together. You want to check out your little box? Yeah, perfect
But when somebody can look at you with your junk in your mess and say I choose you anyway
That's what we call choosing
Okay, yeah enjoy yourself and yes, it is a reality that this could not be the one
That's a real thing like you could he could be great and you could be great and you could say oh
What is we got to know each other isn't the best fit so you don't have to have this in number
Time is getting back and i'm gonna move to the next person
You don't have to live on the edge of your seat hoping it doesn't fall apart
How about you accept that you're on a journey and at some point you may decide that we don't serve each other best
And it doesn't have to be for because it all crumbled and fell apart
Like accept the fact that you don't have to live in scarcity
And you can live in freedom and say when you're on a journey of getting to know somebody
It's only one person you can choose for your spouse
And i'm not going to hold on to good
if it's the good is not meeting the level or when we as we got to know each other in the end, I pray in
Or for whatever reasons things don't work
You have to be willing to say it was good while it lasted. Hey, you know what?
I finally got in a relationship where I got to know somebody where I showed up as me
You have so much the win you look at the loss like it's great, but you have so much to gain
Losing is off the table. How are you gonna lose when you showed up as yourself?
You know, how how can you lose when you got to to practice boundaries
When you got to be um, I tell people all the time
My goal for anybody that I come in contact with when they leave me they say I knew a girl named ebony one time
She was amazing she was awesome like I want to leave that type of expression with people about who I am
In any capacity that they they once knew somebody named ebony, you know, and so that's what I work
That's my goal when i'm getting to know people in dating in our relationship any type of connection
and so
Let him remember joanne if joanne don't meet him at the altar
Let him have saying I knew I knew I dated a girl named joanne, man. She was a lot of fun
She didn't mind saying what she was gonna say
She didn't mind expressing herself if I had to choose a wife one part. I would want about a wife is something that joanne cared
I hope the next woman I meet carries that
You see what i'm saying? I do
Yeah, I hope the next woman makes me feel appreciate the way joanne made me feel appreciated
She did a really good job at that
So
Okay, I hope i'm gonna move on
Yeah
Can I say one thing to encourage everybody to okay say one thing
to be open to not date your
Someone not your type
It's been really good for me to not date my typical person. It's working out better than
What I think I like and what I think could work
so
Well, that was worth that was really good. Yeah, it's what we say all the time all the time
Thank you. Joanne. This has been great talking to you and um, we're gonna continue praying for you
Thank you so much and your mom. You're welcome
um stephanie
Davis
Hi
I have a question. It's not dating question per se
So i'm a little lost i'm a little a rough time, um with
balancing this
And balancing the other things of life. So I I run my own business plus I work part-time on weekends
And it's really really really hard. We're taking off now and it seems like
I don't have any time
I can't wait till last when i've been on the app or even even look at somebody and i'm i'm struggling with it
you know sometimes i'm not able to make it here because
Something comes up and you have to be working or you have meetings because sometimes
The time difference with everybody else you have to have meetings with them
and i'm like, I feel like i'm I feel like i'm
I'm doing an injustice to myself and then i'm like i might go when I show up for somebody
Because of all this is going on. How is that gonna look?
So, you know, what advice could you give me to kind of like how to kind of balance this?
a little bit
Yeah, um in those seasons come stephanie, um, because there were a season where you had more capacity for this, right?
You were able to post more you were able to entertain more
And it seems like you've come up on the season where that is not your availability to do that
And I know you're asking for balance
But one way we find balance and it brings peace within ourselves is to recognize what season we're in
When you recognize what season you in you don't spend your time battling like I wish I had more time
You actually look at the time you have and say I can allot this much time to this
Because of the season that i'm in and i'm willing to accept that
Because I know that in a little while this season will switch over and change and maybe I could give more time to it
automatically
When we say yes to one thing, no becomes the choice
for something else, right?
If once you give yes to one, everything else becomes a no
and knowing what to give our yeses to help to serve us best.
And so it seems like, so I would lay out
and see what I give my yes to
and what it automatically renders a no to.
And then out of all your busyness,
there is a time that you have,
once you freak, once you accept the season you're in,
you can look at your time in a more holistic perspective
and say, oh, I do have this little pocket
of time right here.
I can commit this time to that.
Is that possible?
Yes.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, that actually makes sense.
So it just basically like put on everything that I'm doing
and able to commit to what is important to me.
Cause this is important to me.
And I felt like I was just, I felt really bad about it
cause it is important.
Cause I've been praying about it
and then you're doing the class
and then now all of a sudden everything else
I want is just started to take off
and you're like, oh my God, it's only me by myself.
I would find myself and I said,
God, you need to send a guy, hurry and send a guy.
I need help, help.
I need help here, but you know.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that, I think it's okay
in seasons of our lives to let the first things
be first things.
I do that all the time.
I have to rearrange all the time and I'm thankful.
I do it and I do it with a happy heart
because I understand and I want you guys to understand
that your time won't always be your own in this way
because one day you're gonna be married.
That's what we believe for you.
And that's what we've seen God do.
And we decided it's not gonna stop now.
And so one day you won't have all this free time
to organize it the way that you want
because you will be married
and you will have some cares going
into some different directions
that you won't be able to change around so much.
And so enjoy your season of the journey to your love story
because once it's gone, it's not coming back.
That it's not, it's not coming back.
So you don't even have to wish it away.
Just skip your way right on through.
And sometimes take a couple of seats if you need to.
Yeah, okay.
Is that it, Stephanie?
Unless you're gonna tell me how I can get
an Amazon husband, but that's it.
Come on, Amazon husband.
I know.
We need to rain down some men around here.
Okay.
Signed, sealed, and delivered.
Sarah J.
Why did I put Sarah J?
It's Sarah W.
Yes, it's Sarah W.
Yes.
Sorry.
Yeah, so I started phase two a week ago.
I think it was, yeah, a week ago.
Back on the dating apps and everything,
which I was on before the heart work.
But I don't know.
In hearing everybody talk tonight,
I'm just, a lot of things,
kinda, I can't think of the right word.
I just related to a lot of things people were saying
about not, trying to not find fault in everyone.
I'm having a really hard time opening up
to just dating for the experience
and not immediately finding fault in all these guys.
But everything you just said a minute ago of like,
it's not like we're perfect either.
So anyway, I'm just struggling with that.
The dating apps are just a little disheartening,
even though they're not anything new to me.
It's just kinda losing some hope this time.
I was so excited to get back on them,
and now I'm like, oh man, it's just not,
nothing's going anywhere yet, I guess I should say.
Yeah, you know, dating apps will do that to you.
You'll get yourself all boosted up,
get you some pretty pictures, do your profile,
and you know what I mean?
Like, and then it's like the crazy looking men
you try to talk to, and like, what is something I,
what is something I said or did?
You're my father's age, yeah.
So listen, I know that all of us have had this experience
with dating apps, and sometimes they can be so disappointing
and sometimes I just have to take it out the phone
and be like, this is so disappointing.
don't even worry about it and regroup and come back and talk to community and look around and
go to Home Depot seeking out find a man that fit my taste. That's not a bad idea. You should go
Sarah. A lot of people meet there. It's a lot of men to choose from. Take a friend with you. Let
them be your wing women and they go up and talk for you and you go up and talk for them. I love
it. I do it all the time with my community. We're each other's wing women. Wing women. Anyway,
it's something else I wanted to address that you said before the dating. You said, yeah,
just hard. Did you say, you know, kind of a challenge that's convincing yourself to do
what now? What were you saying? It was something I read. Just to I'm having a hard time.
I'm dating for Discovery. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I think that I've had to be honest with you. Most
all people have an issue with dating for Discovery. Seems like it a very I had an
issue with dating for Discovery. And I think a lot of the pushback comes from within comes within
we programmed ourselves with certain laws that you may be unaware of like it has become a law
within you. So certain things like I'm not going to ask a man on a date. He should be pursuing me.
You don't do that. Oh, I like him. Like it just happens in your mind or why would I date for
Discovery? God has promised me a spouse. I'm dating for marriage. Yeah. And so what happens
is this what starts to come up because you've been believing God for a spouse. I'm believing.
So why am I going out here to discover, discover what I'm discovering my spouse. And so what
happens is then when you get into the program and the and, you know, Jack has designed it so wonderfully.
He says, well, let's date to discover the understanding behind that is and this may help
even though you may have heard it. I had to hear it several times before it hit me. I actually had
to go on the first date for it to hit me. Nothing triggers you the way a man would trigger you.
Yeah, in a dating aspect. And what happens is we want to get to marriage. We want marriage.
But a lot of times we don't have the capacity for marriage. You just don't know it because you've
been living your fantasy for so long. Now, I've been married before, so I know it.
I already know what's on the other side. Right. And so what happens is you start dating and you
discover things about yourself. Like there's so many women who they don't even know. And I've had
this so many times, like they don't even know what to tell a person, a man they like. Yeah. I don't
know what I like, but you're talking to your friend girls all the time. You don't know that you don't
know what you like. Yeah. Man says or the thought of rejection that rises up in you or the thought
of abandonment that comes in you. You don't think you don't feel abandoned when your friends get
mad at you. You go out and be like, whatever. But you like a man in the thought that once you like him,
that you could be abandoned. Yeah. You're in a state of fear. Like you didn't know that these
things were happening or the fact that he said that, but I really want to say something, but I
didn't say anything. Why? Why can't you practice your boundaries? But all of these things that you
need in marriage, because we had this idea that when we get married, I don't know this idea that
things are going to be perfect, that you're going to do just right. And that's not true.
Right. And so when you start dating, it helps you develop and it really does. And it helps you see
things much more clearly about who you are more than anything. It helps you assert your worth and
value. And you find out how scarce your mindset may actually be because for so long, you may
think it ain't no kingdom men. They're no men of God. That is what I'm thinking right now on these
apps. I'm like, anybody go to church? I know. And then you meet a man who, who is, he goes to church
and you know, this is your first few days. He loves the Lord and he's this and he's that. And
you'll be amazed at how you don't even take time to observe this man. You married him in a week in
your mind. And it all was birthed from a scarcity mindset. Because if you had to look at your own
journey with the Lord, you would evaluate your own life and determine that people have to grow
in God. Yeah. Just because you love the Lord, you still fall short in some areas and it will be you,
it will be of high importance to be a fruit inspector instead of what someone tells you.
And that's not being nervous. It's being real because you know, your own life. Yep. But you
don't really know that that part of you kind of lives there. Yeah, no, you're right. Loring. Yeah.
And so I get it. I know why they're
of things that come up in us that we don't know that they're just living there. And so I always
encourage you to challenge your thought processes. I challenge you. Why did you think like that? Why
did you just feel that way? Instead of saying, no, they did this. It's like, but why did I respond
that way? What happened to me? And so I hope that brings some clarity. Nobody wants to set
themselves up to be rejected. A lot of times women say, well, I don't want to be on no app
and somebody looking at me, judging me. Yeah. Well, what's that about? What is that about?
What do you mean somebody judging you? Yeah. Like, could they pass you up? You do know that
like you just might not be that type. It's really possible with the other million women in the world.
But you pass, we pass up men all the time. We be like, oh God, no. We actually have the
access to talk to them. Do you have a camera set up in my house?
I do it all the time. And I'm like, baby, you didn't even ask to talk to you.
I do have a question though, when you, when you talked about asking why
you react to certain, ask yourself why you react a certain way. So
I have a close friend who twice now, and one was like two weekends ago,
she's watched me interact with, you know, other single guys. And she's like, you're really mean
to men. And she's asking me why. And I'm like, I, you know, I, I'm sure I have some guesses, but
I don't know. I don't realize I'm doing it in the moment. I'm sure it's self defense somehow
against rejection probably, but I'm like, how do I stop and catch myself and not,
not be so mean? I didn't realize I was being mean. Yeah. It's so good when we have people that can
observe us because people see what we don't see. And it's a real thing. And a woman can switch up
in a heartbeat. It's kind of like you're on this coaching, right? You're in this program,
you go in the grocery store and you look like, don't look at me. Don't look at me. I've seen
a man, but they walk through the store fast as they can. Don't look at me. They carry it. Don't
look at me. And then you go back to the Lord. Where's my husband? I believe in you. I'm tired
of this journey. So why are you going through the grocery store? Like I'm 200 with your little car.
Don't look at me. It don't line up. People don't line up. That's me. Yep. That's me.
So it's a protection and it's not wanting to be rejected. It is a defense. And the way you do it
is, you know, the way you're bent because someone brought it to your attention. I believe that the
Lord reveals to redeem and restore. And so by that being revealed to you, because you're on a journey
with heaven to the spirit mate for the love story he has for you, what he starts doing is shedding
stuff away. So you want a fantasy. We want Cinderella. We want somebody to poop us up in
two weeks. Give me the love story. I have and God says, you want kingdom? Oh, you want what I have?
Let's go. I want you to have the best two in the best parts with you. So let's start shedding some
of this stuff away. Yep. Let me shave out some of these things. And I think your friend saying
that was a shaving away. And so what do you do when that happens? Because we know that God reveals
to redeem and restore. When you get in those situations, you remind yourself of what someone
told you of how you act and you turn yourself the other way. You bend in a different direction.
You smile. You tell yourself over and over, keep smiling. Say thank you. That sounds so simple,
but I'm not doing it. I know I'm not. Yeah. Like go against yourself as hard as you can. I rebel
against myself, you guys. I tell myself, I used to be an anxious attacher just because I learned
love that way from my family doesn't mean that I am a blood bought believer. How dare I give
somebody a toxic pattern? I refuse to give somebody a toxic pattern when I have the blood of Jesus on
the inside of me who has loved me unconditionally. So I intentionally go against myself. Literally,
even if it's like I'm hitting against a wall, I turn myself in the other direction. And so I do
it in our practice, in our practice, in our practice, in our practice, because I know what
I'm bent toward. And so I lean in the other direction. Do I get it right all the time? No,
but I don't have to get it right all the time because the more I lean, the more I turn and I
keep leaning a little bit more each time until I find myself in a different position with a
perspective, being a different person. I love that.
I encourage you to do that, Sarah,
because no man wants to marry a man.
He wants a feminine woman.
He wants a woman, and you're a woman.
And whatever you've had to do in the past,
you don't need those tools anymore.
You don't need them.
What you needed to survive, you don't need it.
You're in your thriving season.
And I'm telling you, you've got to put your foot
on the devil's neck and tell him he
won't rob you of the season that was meant for you.
Because you are not who you used to be
or where you used to be.
And you need to release, because it's not the enemy doing it.
It's you doing it to yourself if you
refuse to release the armor that you once
needed to protect yourself.
You don't need that armor anymore.
It's no good over here, Sarah.
You know how people say your money ain't no good with me?
That armor you once had is no good on this side of town.
You don't need it.
I believe it, yep.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Keep us updated.
All right, I'm going to go out on the town and smile.
You can do it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Thanks, Ebony.
You're welcome.
Alexandra.
Hey.
So I jumped in, I guess, two questions.
I jumped in really quick.
I was just super excited today.
I'm so ready to meet my husband.
And I've talked to so many guys this week on the dating apps.
Which is also, I feel inside of me,
I feel slightly dead, because all my free time,
it's just been too much.
So I've realized that.
I'm like, OK, I need to take a little bit of a step back.
I get really excited.
And I'm like, I'm going to go.
He's going to be here right now.
I feel like he's.
So I need to slow down with that.
I think I have an anxious attachment as well,
in general.
So taking things slow and just getting to know people
is definitely going to be a practice for me.
I usually am like the, you know, like I,
anyway, I've almost asked some pretty intense questions.
But then I listened to Jackie's video.
And I was like, oh, I have to wait to ask this.
So I just have to talk to this guy and get to know him slowly.
So that's a practice for me.
So any advice on that, I guess.
And then I guess I just wanted to get your feedback slash
share with the group.
I had this one guy kind of sweep me off my feet
already on the dating app.
He just came in really hot with saying these things
that a girl wants to hear.
He was like, he was like, she's the one,
is like his first message to me.
And I just kind of joked back.
But then we had a phone call.
And he was just like ready to, he's
like, I'm going to do whatever I need to do to make this,
to make you, like I have to convince you to come,
want to move out here.
And I was like, I don't know.
I guess I was like, I was like flattered by it.
Because I was like, oh, he's like being intentional.
And he really likes me.
He did the thing on Jackie's video, just for all you women.
I don't know if you guys have had this experience too.
But he told me about his package size, which was not,
he was just, he was inquiring about, because I, yeah,
anyway, I think we probably got too deep too fast.
But I was like, oh, I was like, you've
lived with your past, like with your past girlfriends.
I'm like wondering where you're at with your faith.
Because he was very upfront about like,
oh, I've lived with my past girlfriends.
It just went too deep too fast.
And then, yeah, he shared that with me.
And I was like, oh my god, I didn't ask for that at all.
And now I can't get it out of my head at the same time.
And so that's been like kind of a temptation, honestly,
this week too.
Like I feel like my mind's been kind of like,
not that I'm going to like pursue him.
I think it's been pretty clear after we took some space.
Like he texts me the next day, and I text him back.
And then he never wrote back.
And I never, so I don't know also
if I need to like respond to him and be like, you know,
like it was good to get to know you,
like just to actually close that door.
But yeah, anyway, just watch out for,
I don't even know what was going on.
He didn't even need to get to know me.
He was like, I'm ready to get you to move here.
Yeah.
Well, you know, he was kind of like on the verge,
kind of like he started off with a little love
for me, right, a little talk.
Yeah.
And I've had that before and I've fallen for it.
So scary.
You know, how about, let's just make this statement, ladies.
Love bumming feels good.
That's why people fall for it, right?
Love bumming feels good.
Somebody starts bumming you with love
and there's a deficit of you hearing how amazing you are
and that they desire you.
Women want to be chosen.
We're in a position to be chosen, right?
But you're also in a position to choose
what you want for your future.
So what I'm saying is love bumming is a real thing.
And so that's why we work to solidify our identity
and our worth and our value.
So that when someone comes along with all
of their wonderful compliments.
about us. It actually adds an amen to what we agree about ourselves and we can actually take
it as a compliment. But when men come in heavy like that, they just kind of come in heavy like
that and you have to recognize and be like, oh, okay, I see what you're doing. Just like you did,
like you noticed, like, okay, that comment is not in order, right? One thing I do want to say is
you said, should you respond back to him? If you want to practice closing things out,
you can do that. So this is a really great person to practice with because it's very low stakes. He
hadn't even responded back to you, right? So you could just be like, oh, you don't have to say
anything else and let it ride out like that. You can do that. If you wanted to practice saying,
it was great getting to know you. I know we haven't texted in a while, but I like to close
things out well. And so this is my goodbye. Like you can do that. And then you can immediately
block him after that. So you won't have to deal with any conversation that he'll have coming back
to you. But at least you'll get that little practicing if you would like to do that.
But if not, you could just let it ride the way it is. And recognize that things went really fast,
really quickly. Like that's something that could happen. And it's a good thing it was just over
app or nothing upfront and personal that it cost you anything too much, right?
Yeah. I've been in a short term dating relationship before where I was love bombed. So I don't know.
I don't know. I'm like, is that a sign that I just... I know I struggle with worth and things
like that, but I don't know. I just think it's kind of interesting. It makes me scared because
I don't want to fall susceptible to that again because it can become very abusive very quickly.
Well, I don't think you have to be afraid that you'll fall for love bombing again. When you
recognize it, you make decisions. Good night, Karen. Sleep well. Thank you. You make decisions
that, hey, this is what this guy is doing. We all have to fortify ourselves with our value and our
worth. And the way we do that is when somebody does something, we assert our worth and value.
That's how you fortify that within yourself. So I want you to know that you're not going to
always be in a position of, well, I know I really struggle with self-worth. Yeah,
you may really struggle. This dating is going to help you fortify yourself in it because you're
going to see what does it serve you best and you're going to call a spade a spade and you're
going to keep it moving. That's why this is dating for discovery and not dating for marriage.
In that sense, you are dating for marriage, right? This is a part of the process to your
love story. So this is a part of it. But you're dating for discovery, it keeps it a low stake
in your mind without you moving into scarcity. So it's making it low stakes like, it's okay,
I'm just learning about myself. Did he make a comment about sex to me? Hey, I'm going to have
to shut that down. I'm not going to let that slide like that. And you're going to take every
opportunity you can to do it. And so you get to see it from a different perspective, right?
So it's like, oh, it'll mean, you know, so if you, like I say, like he goes, oh, my, my, my,
you know, my size is this. You can say, oh, wow. The information isn't necessary.
And not be afraid that you're losing something. Yeah. Because you, you don't want your,
your kingdom husband talking to you that way, like, that's not your idea, right?
That a man of value will speak, right? And so don't be, all that to say is don't be afraid of
love bombing. There are going to be men that want to love bomb you. You have what it takes to do
what you have to do. And that's what's going to fortify your worth and value. You get to practice
it. Now, the first question you ask, because it's 8.04, we got to be done by 8.15 tonight.
The first question you ask is how do you cause yourself to slow down? And this is the challenging
thing, because when you meet somebody the first two weeks, it's like chemistry. Something is
pulling you to them. It, it works without you. It's working. You get to know them. They're
amazing. You literally can be talking to a person for two days. And it's like, surely we've been
talking to them a week. Surely it's been two weeks. And you'll almost start wishing time would
pass by so you could justify how you're feeling, right? Know that those are just chemicals. Like
recognize the stage for what it is and cause yourself to come under submission to order.
Tell yourself, I know this is not how you develop a healthy relationship.
Like that is true. Don't believe that how you feel is the truth because how you feel is not
the truth. It's the chemicals that are released when we want to draw a man to a woman.
Your feelings
aren't your truth. Even if you feel like this is the one, why would you forego the process of
getting to know someone in an organic way? That doesn't make sense. If you marry somebody in a
week, you still got to be their friend. You think they're going to be your friend because you made
covenant with them? Whether you got on the other side of I do and had to learn them, it's still
the same process. You have to cause yourself to come under submission to the boundaries that
you've accepted. If you're in this program, you've accepted the boundary that I'm not going to do
physical intimacy because it clouds judgment. I'm not going to talk about emotional things because
it's not appropriate. I don't know this person. I'm not going to talk about spiritual things
because spiritual things make you believe that you know somebody better than you do.
These are not made up things. These are fact-based things. When we talk about spiritual things,
we're talking about not praying together, not reading your Bible together. We're not
talking about asking them what they believe. There's nothing wrong with asking a person what
they believe. If you know these things, cause yourself to come under submission to those
things because you've accepted that this is the way you're going to do this phase of your life.
Right? Once you settle that within yourself, it's easier to come under submission to it.
But if you decided that you know this, and you want to do it this way, and you're going to forgo
that, and then you're going to have to take the heat of what comes along with it. If, ladies,
you don't have the ability to cause yourself to submit to what you say is right, then you need
to get people in your life that will slow you down. The way you get people in your life to
slow you down is to be completely vulnerable when it's time to be vulnerable. Completely say
what you talked about on the phone with that man. Everything. Lay it all out. So when they say to
you, like, hey, that is too much. Hey, y'all shouldn't be talking about future things. Hey,
that is too fast. Yeah, that's going to cost you. You say, okay, I'll do what you say.
Because you know what they're saying is right. You just don't have the ability to do it for
yourself. And so you've hired them, brought them in to be police for you.
Now, I have community that does that for me, and I submit to wisdom and authority because I've
chosen them to be the authority in my life. I've trusted the hand of God upon their life,
and they've proven that they have wisdom by the relationships they sustain in their life
and how they live their life. And so I do that for myself because that serves me best.
And so that's one way you could do it. I know that was a long answer, but I want to take a
moment to say that because it is necessary on this journey for you to call yourself to come
under some order. Yeah, I think I want to make it like I just being honest, it's like I want to make
it all happen really fast. Like, I don't want to go through the process. I know how to do. You ain't
by yourself. If I could get every woman on here to tell the truth, do they want to? I don't want
to do it. We want to Amazon man. Come on for detail the truth. We want to Amazon man. Like,
come on, God, you know, everybody and everything. Just send the man my way, right? That is what we
want. But that doesn't serve us best because the Lord wants to develop us. He really does.
He really ship them over. He really wants to develop us and give us the very best.
And so if you know the truth about yourself, you cause yourself to come under a certain order
and accept things as truth and then operate in it until you find another truth that you want
to operate in. Yeah. Thank you so much, Ebony. You're welcome. That's right. Amazon Prime Day.
Let's get them here. Isatel, is that how you say your name or Isatel? It's Isatel.
Golly, Isatel. I should have known that I was long. Yeah, everybody wants to say it's like Isabel,
isn't it? No. The A helps the I say his name. Go ahead. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Hopefully it's not
too loud. I'm walking to Bible study. But yeah, I went into phase two last week. And
I've been just kind of on a couple of dating apps. And like one guy I talked to, like,
he really didn't have much on his profile. And to be honest, I normally wouldn't even
accept like a match with somebody like I want to know if they like I want to know more about them.
I want to like dig it out of it. And we even tried texting musical. What do you want to know? I'm
like, okay, if I got it, like, I don't know. I think it's just I'm the type that I'd much rather
talk. Instead of like this awkward texting where it's just Hi, how are you doing? Hi.
And trying to like, build something off a text. It's been interesting. And
Oh, and
And I put in the community, I go to a fairly big church in the Bay Area, and I know I saw
your comment, and I think part of me was kind of like, not ashamed, but like, a little discouraged
that I think I handled it the wrong way, that I know I handled it the wrong way, that he
kind of alluded to, that we'd meet up on a Saturday, and I got all dressed up on a Saturday,
but he never, like, followed up.
Oh!
That's you.
That's me.
Yeah, yeah.
So you're the one that y'all said y'all made plans to meet up, but you never solidified
it, but you still got dressed to go?
Yeah, so, like, he, from the conversation, made it sound like he was, like, that we'd
meet up on Saturday, but maybe it just, he didn't say a time, so maybe I thought, like,
after I was done with my Bible study thing, that we would solidify a time, and we'd talk,
or, like, it's for Saturday, just what, like, because I was busy, I know he was busy, he
would set a time, but it's like, it was already three in the afternoon, and I heard a peep,
and so I think it was just, like, I didn't want to just be waiting around if we said
we were going to meet on a Saturday, on Saturday, and just take the whole day, because I didn't
want to exactly be meeting at night, either.
Well, tell me, what made you get dressed, and you didn't have a confirmation?
Well, he said we would meet up on Saturday, I'll pick you up, and I told him, like, I'm
more of a take charge, like, direct female, so I think I was trying to see what it's like
to let him take the lead.
Mmm.
I'm trying my best to do that.
I see, I see.
And so, like, I told him, you know, I had a Bible study in the morning, I texted him,
like, oh, I'm back from the Bible study, but yeah, like, I hadn't heard anything else about
the whole day, like, he didn't confirm, so that's why I'm like, I'm not trying, if he
said Saturday, I want to trust that, if he said Saturday, seriously, I'm not going to
have my whole day busy on Saturday if he said that, so, like, I think I'm just, like, trying
to, yeah, I wanted to know, like, I wanted to get some type of, like, hey, let's meet
up at 2, hey, like, let's meet up at 5 for coffee, just something, and the fact that
he didn't give me anything, I didn't want to wait until 3, 4, 5 to figure it out, and
I guess he was working that day, but again, he didn't tell me anything about that, so
I think I'm just, like, yeah.
Okay, I see what, I see what happened now.
You're used to taking charge, so you say that this man said this is what he's going to do,
I'm going to try to trust that he's going to keep his word, I haven't heard from him,
but I am on this journey of trusting if somebody gave their word, they're going to do what
they said they're going to do.
Is that what you were thinking?
Yeah, and not try to be, like, yeah, so I'm trying to learn how to be gentle and let the
guy, you know, lead.
Okay, so while you're dating for discovery, I do want you to get confirmation, and that's
not you taking over, that's you getting confirmation that this is a go, right?
And so once you reach out, say, hey, I'm just reaching out, in a very, this is very feminine,
I'm reaching, this is feminine, what I'm saying, hey, just reaching out to make sure that we're
still on for tomorrow at this time.
Yeah.
Right?
Another way you can let them take the lead is once you agree, you can say back to them,
I would be great to go out to coffee, let me know where I should meet you at.
That means you're letting them select the place, like, that's a way you can do it.
Now, they may come and say, I don't really know that area that well, so if you have a
favorite coffee shop that you'd like to go to, you can say, okay, yeah, I actually do,
because then that gives you autonomy to choose what serves you best.
Right.
Okay.
It's something you said the first time that I wanted to say something to you about.
Okay, well, go ahead.
So I see now better.
Yeah.
Do you know, so do you think that attributed to your disappointment, because you were trying
something new?
So you were trying to go against a pattern in yourself, and then it felt like you were
stood up, and maybe that's how, like, so I want to say this, and you ladies, I'm sorry
if I'm jumping around, because I'm going by a post she made.
The post was, this guy asked her out, she got dressed, even though they did not confirm,
and she sent him a text and was like, hey, you know what?
I would really appreciate it if you...
So she just kind of...
went off the handle.
And so I asked her back in the post,
like, hey, that was a bit much.
You could have just said this.
But do you know why you got dressed without having
something solidified?
And also, I went on to say in the next post,
like, hey, don't beat yourself up.
And so this is why I want to double back, too.
The thing about this, ladies, however you respond
is the way you respond.
You're not wrong for your response in a sense
that this is who you are and this is where you are.
It's more important that you discover or dig through
why you responded that way.
That's going to serve you better,
because you're not losing.
You had an experience, right?
And that's what I want to say to you.
Now, you had an experience.
You didn't respond wrong.
You responded out of the place where you were.
And at that moment, you were disappointed.
You were frustrated.
Inside of you, you were trying to go against a way
that you've been in the past and you
didn't want to be there anyway.
And you were let down.
And it's like some part of you could have been saying,
I knew I should have took control.
I knew I should have dealt with this.
I knew I should have did it my way.
But you were trying a new way.
And this new way is necessary for where you're going.
And that's for marriage, right?
Yes, yeah.
You can't take over and operate in a certain way.
And so that's what that was.
And you can always follow back up with the person.
And I want you to know that you can always follow up
with a person and say, hey, I know if you don't want to,
I know that could have been quite heavy.
I was very disappointed.
If I could say it differently, this is what I would say to you.
And leave it at that.
If I could say it differently, this is what I would have liked
to say.
I've done this so many times.
This is what I wanted to say.
Yeah.
You're right.
And I think just know if I think I realized
that I should have just tried to seek a confirmation the day
before.
Because I see him at church, but all he says is like, hi.
Or like, I help a lot in different ministries.
I can welcome team or prayer.
So I think that might intimidate some, too.
There's another question all about my calling
the ministry and finding a man that's
in that kind of equally yokes for somebody who's
called to ministry full time.
But yeah, I think it's just been a little, I guess for me,
it is a little awkward.
I don't know if it is for him.
But I just, yeah, I don't know.
I think it's something I can learn from.
And I think it's, yeah, like maybe I just
need to kind of take, not take my medicine,
but yeah, I guess like explain to him
or apologize if I needed to and how it was worded.
Yeah.
I think you could just say, that's not
exactly what I wanted to say.
This is what I would have rather said.
You can go to him, see him at church,
and you can let him see you as a person.
You can extend grace to yourself.
And you have the, are you frozen?
Can you hear me?
Oh, I want to give you permission to be yourself.
You can be yourself.
You can go up as yourself and say, hey, this is what happened.
I was super frustrated.
He'd be like, oh, no, it's OK.
So I understand that it's OK.
I just want to share this with you as a brother in Christ.
Let me, let me present you as a part,
like this is who you are, Isatel.
And so I just want you to know that there
is grace and space for you.
And let's just address this one last thing with you.
This idea that you have to find somebody that's
in full-time ministry just like you.
Is this going to be a hard thing to do?
Listen, when we partner with heaven,
he's always working things out for our highest and greatest
good.
You're not going to have to find anybody.
You're on a journey to your love story
that God has designed for you.
And you have to remind yourself of that.
And whatever list you have, we say this all the time,
toss it out.
Because just because you're in full-time ministry
doesn't mean your husband has to be in full-time ministry.
What you need is a man that has capacity for the calling
that's on your life.
And that doesn't mean that he has to sit in a pulpit
or serve on a team or any of those things.
The ideal or design that you may have
may look nothing like what the father has in store.
We know he's going to be a righteous man.
We know he's going to be masculine.
We know he's going to be mature.
Because that is the foundation of a kingdom marriage.
But it just doesn't have to look a certain way or the way
that you have in mind that it has to look.
God knows what you need to stretch you, to help grow you,
to help facilitate what he's put on your life.
Just like he knows what that man.
and needs to help grow him, stretch him,
to facilitate what's on his life.
Somebody can be in ministry today
and six years down the road, not in ministry.
So we can't go about choosing people
based on some profile that we've written up, you know?
Yeah, I've seen that in real life relationships.
I think it's just figuring it's, yeah,
it's figuring it all out and like,
do you have, I know it's almost at the end of it,
but like, do you recommend to like kind of
try to talk on the phone sooner
and then just try to have these awkward five word texts?
That's the next thing I wanted to say to you.
You can transition from texting to the phone
at any point that you want.
I agree with you.
You're an adult.
Nobody's gonna sit up and text,
especially back and forth on an app.
That just is not gonna work.
It doesn't work for me.
I don't do that.
I don't know who has a lot of capacity for that.
But after the second day,
if they haven't asked for your number or video,
whatever you want to do, you can say,
if you want to get to know them, you can say,
hey, exchanging in the app has its perks,
but it also has its downsides.
And I would like to get to know you better.
Would you be interested in a voice call?
If so, let me know.
Okay.
Once you say that, now, when you say, let me know,
you put the ball back in their court
for them to voice what they want to do.
If they say, I would really like that, you say, great.
Here's my number and here's my availability.
Okay, perfect.
That helps a lot.
I think, yeah, just to see,
to not speed up the process,
but yeah, not make it feel like I'm pulling out teeth.
So-
Oh, you can speed up the process
of stop talking to somebody over text.
That's not ideal.
You basically texting somebody you don't know,
and you shouldn't answer all these questions.
So one thing when somebody asks you like,
hey, what are you looking for?
You can say, that's a really great question.
I would enjoy answering that on the phone with you.
Or how about I answer that for you over a video call?
Yeah.
Like, hey, that's a great question.
That's kind of a detailed question.
So let's discuss this on another platform or another way.
You can always say that you don't have to feel obligated
to answer all these questions,
and you could just tell the person
what you would rather do, right?
Yeah.
And, you know, the goal is,
if you haven't had an opportunity to watch the video,
but the goal is if someone is local within a week,
you should be having a coffee date with them.
If they're about a little less than local,
probably a hundred miles,
you want to do two weeks, but not more than that.
The goal is a live date.
Right.
I don't drive.
I take the public transit everywhere.
So they got, right now,
I don't even know if I want to entertain more than a,
if it's more than a three-hour bus or train ride.
Oh, no, you don't want entertainment.
Yeah.
I said, right.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Okay.
I need somebody like with,
that's only maybe an hour train ride.
And that's about, I think the capacity I'm at right now.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think that makes perfectly good sense.
You wouldn't,
I don't intentionally pursue someone
for a coffee date that's too far.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
No, that's been good.
I think that's been helpful.
And just to just be that sister,
just to give myself grace and give that brother grace.
And yeah, just, I think helps streamline
and then make this process a little easier
to build connections and date for the,
actually get to the date instead of just random texting.
So yeah, that's helpful.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm excited for you.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
All right, Sarah, thanks for hanging in there.
How's it going?
Hello.
I just wanted to share just really briefly.
I'm just proud of myself because I've gone on four dates
in about the last month or so.
And so that's a lot for me.
And I've been going on dates almost every weekend.
So, I'm just really proud of myself.
And then also, this last weekend,
I went on a date with a guy and I think it was,
I think it was my best date that I've gone on so far.
So that was also a really big win, I feel like.
I wouldn't say that I necessarily have like feelings
exactly for him, but I just really enjoyed the date.
And I felt like our connection
or whatever, our match, our compatibility, I should say,
was better than any of the other guys
probably that I've gone on a date with so far.
So, that was really exciting
that things are kind of like progressing
and I'm meeting like more and more compatible people,
which is really cool.
That's really cool. It's like the more you say no to the less compatible, like even or
the more you date, the better the picking becomes. That makes sense. Like I tested it.
So like I would start like this first, you know, you just do your seven days like I had
like I did one date after another, sometimes be two or three days in a week, just roll,
roll, roll, roll. And then when I start streamlining, start getting better and better and better.
So watch the girl go ahead, Sarah, not trying to take your time. That does happen.
Yeah. So I, my only thing is, and I know I talked with you about this last time. I just,
I don't, I don't want to always be the person who's like pursuing, like as the female,
like I would also like to be pursued. But I'm like, if I'm going to sit here and wait for
somebody to ask me on a date, I feel like, you know, I'm going to be waiting for a while. So
but I guess that just is what it is right now.
I think that it could be a time, but I think that it is just that way. Like, Hey, you just
make some things happen because you're on a dating app. But I also believe that you can
say things in a way that calls them to it's not more about pursuit. I know what you're saying,
what you want to experience. And when you experience a man leading the way, like start
off saying that it does feel good. Like it is nice. So I'm not going to say that that's not true.
I will say that I initiated more than when you talk about dating apps, I initiated more like,
Hey, would you like to exchange numbers more, but then it is reciprocated.
And so you're looking for reciprocation, right? And I think we talked about this last time
reciprocation, and you can always put it back in their court to give you that, some of that
experience that you're talking about. Like, Hey, I want to get to know you better. Would you be
interested in exchanging numbers? Once they buy in and say, yes, they're also taken apart. And
they say, yes, you say, well, here's my number and my availability. That means they're reaching
out to you first. Cause you gave them the information. Does that make sense? Yeah.
And so when they call you, they would have made that move before you like getting that
you texting them. Hey, it's Sarah.
Yeah. I, I much prefer in-person rather than like texting or calling or anything like that. I mean,
I know it always usually starts like that, but I, I pretty quickly want to move to in-person
because I know myself and I'll get bored and just be like, I don't even know this person.
Like, what's the point of this? You know, like dragging it on. Like, I just want to meet them
because I feel like you learn a whole lot more, a lot faster. You get a much better
idea of who they are in person. But I feel like I, I, it could also just because I,
I can, I can be a little bit quiet in certain settings. And so I think because of that and
kind of guarded. So I think because I think that's really the biggest reason why people don't ask me
because I'm, I, yeah. Cause I'm just a bit more quiet and guarded, but.
Well, Sarah, I will say this and I will ask,
we actually, how many times I could say this to the ladies in this community?
Pursuit doesn't necessarily mean somebody asks you to go out to dinner with them first.
A pursuit is a reciprocal thing that a man is buying in. You're going to know when he buys in,
even if he asks you out for a date one time, it's beyond the first time where you go out with me.
Do you want that experience? I'm not trying to take it away from you,
but that doesn't equal pursuit.
Pursuit is bigger than that. Like this idea that they are, that they are buying in
and saying, I want a plan. I want to do this. I want to do that. Like it comes with the process.
If it doesn't show up, then you shouldn't be, you shouldn't be talking to them.
Yeah, that makes sense. And I think you're saying, go ahead. You're saying the, when it's,
when, when it's just starting or when people are just showing interest, it can be from either side,
but then eventually both people should be reciprocating and pursuing.
That's true. Cause I like what you say. You're just showing interest right now.
Let's, let's label it. That was a really good way. You're just showing interest. That's all
you were doing. Now, if you got on the phone and told me like you show interest, you suggested
coffee. He says, yes. And then you told him, Hey, I had a great time. He wants to keep texting you,
but he hadn't asked you to go anywhere. You would by no means ask that man to go out on a date with
you. Does that make sense? You would not initiate.
date with him after that you said hey let's grab coffee he's like that sounds great you go after
coffee you you leave and you was like hey man i had such a great time you've expressed that you
had a great time and then he still want to talk every day but two weeks passed by he hasn't
mentioned going anywhere with you he hasn't asked you to go out you wouldn't in turn say to him
would you like to go get coffee again no no no no no now it's time for him to show up
that is what you mean pursuit that right there is him showing an interest in you
and him saying i want to spend time with you that is a very important piece
a lot of times we get all set here ladies when we tell you that because you are initiating
conversation he doesn't initiate some first that he's not pursuing you that's just not true
but if i go ahead no you guys i was just gonna make sure i understand what you're saying so if
i if i basically initiated the first our first date then i should i should not come back later
and ask him to go on another date no okay he should show that he's interested in getting to
know you and but if he doesn't ever say anything then just leave it at that and just move on
well he's telling you that maybe he's not interested so let's say if you know he's
talking to you every day and say oh you know we've been chatting a lot or i don't know what
you like i i would just see like you could measure his interest in you you're gonna know
if he's interested in getting to know you if he just wants to keep chatting so if you're looking
at two weeks and he hasn't mentioned anything about you guys going out now this is hypothetical
because i can't make a law out of it because i don't know the situation right or it's not a rule
but let's just say y'all going on y'all went out to coffee you told him how great of a time
you've been enjoying him and y'all are two weeks let's say he may need to get a paycheck right
give him two weeks maybe he ain't got no money reasons why he hadn't asked you out yet right
so we'll give it two weeks y'all have been chatting really liking each other
he hasn't said anything about going out on the date you could say um now you could be
you could you could be really up front and you'd be like hey i noticed that you hadn't asked me back
out again do you have any intentions on us uh hanging out again you can say that you can ask
do you have any intentions on you guys hanging out again and let him speak for himself right
you can let him know that you um learn people best through experience
right so it's been fun chatting and getting to know you i noticed that you haven't initiate any
type of other outing however you want to say it he's going to speak for himself he has had
something to say but i would give it a week or two weeks right okay because somebody don't do
in a week doesn't mean they could be busy but sarah if a man is interested in you you're not
going to have to think like this what if a man is you don't have to think that you really will
not have to think if this man is interested if he's not interested in you you're gonna know
because he is not going to he's not going now we can call
maybe a pursuit there's it's not gonna be there and you'll know
and you have this community to post and ask the question you don't have to be anxious and a lot of
times we initiate things too because it causes us to feel safe i am a very have a stronger personality
more uh dominant like i feel safe with just knowing not like i have to figure stuff out
but if it's an elephant in the room i'm gonna be the one to bring up the elephant
like look seems like we got a problem seems to tell me what's happening what happened you know
that's just me what happened i feel safe knowing what happened i feel safe being able to address
the issue like did i offend you did i hurt you tell me what is it whatever it is give it to me
i'll deal with me i can handle i'll hold up for me but what's happening here and so maybe um you
feel safe when you uh say hey like you you want to grab a cup of coffee get to know each other
because if not i'm not gonna waste my time talking to somebody i don't know how they look i don't
know who you are i haven't divorced and i'm not gonna invest talking to you every night and i
haven't met you and i haven't seen you like that's a real that's a real way for you to operate then
you may have another woman who likes to talk a little bit more before she goes out neither one
of you are wrong in your approach there are no cookie cutters in this group we have a lot of
you
for. So I just ask if I just don't, I think that you being
concerned that by you initiating conversation that is pursuit, I
just don't agree that there's pursuit.
Well, not initiating conversation, but initiating a
date, if they're very slow to like, do anything or say
anything. And I'm like, let's, let's get this show on the road.
Like, ask me out already.
Okay, I'll tell you what, stop yourself. Next one, let's be
your practice. Don't ask and wait. You initiate, you
exchange numbers and you start chatting and you wait. Don't do
it again. Stop yourself. You have the ability to stop
yourself. Don't you don't make a law within yourself that I just
can't do this. You can do it. If you want that if you want him to
ask you out, stop asking people out. Now, if something comes up
in you a fear that but what if they don't ask me, we need to
deal with it. Because if they don't ask you, you don't go. And
you stop talking to them because you're interested in live dates.
I see something happening already. Like your eyes are
blinking like your body is like, what?
But just just don't do it again. Don't ask somebody to talk with
you. Try it for three weeks. See where you get. So I can initiate
a conversation but not like be the one that suggests a date.
Don't suggest a date.
Okay. And just see how that goes. What comes up? I think you
should just just don't. If you want to experience someone asking
you out, just know that they may not go at your pace and be okay
with it. Because your husband ain't gonna be at your pace. God
ain't even at our pace. If God was on our pace, all of us would
have a man. Y'all wouldn't be sitting up in your coaching
session with me. Y'all be somewhere laid up in the bed
twinkling your little toes. So my babe, I'm ready to go to
sleep. Let go to bed, right?
Just try it. You're in a very good space in life, Sarah, where
you get to discover yourself, you get to deal with whatever
fears are coming up, whatever hesitations are coming up. And
when it comes up, say where, why is this here? What is this?
And put yourself under subject. Submit yourself. Tell yourself
no. You know, you ever want to eat like some donut, ice cream
or something, you'd be like, I'm not gonna eat sugar. I don't
know what you got going on. And you make yourself say no. Are
you crying? Oh, man. Oh, Lord, it's 830. What is happening?
I think I just, I'm in a season of life where I just like feel
lonely. And so I think I'm just like, so maybe that's why I want
things to happen faster. Because I just want people in my life.
Yeah, that's good. What else are you experiencing right now?
What?
What else are you experiencing right now? Inside of your body?
Like, what are you experiencing?
I don't know.
That's it?
I guess so.
Yeah. And do you have community?
I mean, I do to a degree. I would like a lot more, like a lot
deeper community.
So you would like closer connections and more?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I have, like, I feel like I'm headed in the
right direction with like, my community and connections. But,
you know, like, like everything else in life, it just takes a lot
longer than you want it to take. And I just like, I have people that
are like consistently in my life. And I have like, you know, a group
of people that I'm consistently around, but I don't have a lot of
like, I guess, like closer relationships, you know, like people
that you meet with one on one, like, I, I do that with people, but
it's more like just one off type situations, like, go out with this
one time, this person, and I, I would like, just more consistent,
like deeper connections with people. So yeah, like, that's up
until I started this program, that's what I've been more focused
on, because I realized that I would like cling to guys a lot
faster, because I didn't have, like good community in my life. So
I was like, Okay, I'm going to focus
on just building community and just trust that in the process that I'm going to meet somebody,
you know, and like not focus on that, like instead focus on building community. So that's
what I've been doing. Yeah, but it's still in process. It is a process. Building relationships
is a process. And that's why when we get into dating relationships and we want to go like a
that's our, that's our sign to us that this is not how this works, right? Because even
building relationships with people, just regular people you're not even dating takes time.
And so I want to pray into that, Sarah. I am so happy that you let this out, right?
This is the thing, like when I say ask yourself a question about what's happening in you and
there are other ladies, you didn't see it in the chat, probably they're just saying that they feel
the same way and that it sucks to be, have those seasons of loneliness, to have those feelings of
loneliness. And so I'm going to pray that God attracts more people to you to do close community
with, right? Like somebody you can call at three o'clock in the morning. It's like, I'm sick. I'm
throwing my guts up and I need you to go CVS and get some medicine and you're not afraid to do it,
right? Like, oh, I hope they'll come through for me. Like that type of closeness in community.
And I believe that because there's something you are pursuing, you know, the Bible says that God
puts the lonely in family. That's the scripture. And so I just want to declare that over your life,
Sarah, that God puts the lonely in family and everyone else here is experiencing that,
that you don't have close-knit community around you. You were made for close-knit community.
You were made for a tribe. You belong somewhere. And I just declare over your life that God puts
lonely in community. And I ask that God would begin to do that in your life now,
that he will begin to attract you to people where you will get to have special, special
relationships that last for the rest of your life, that they walk with you in this season and the
next season to come. And so Father God, I thank you for your women. I thank you for each and
every one of them. I thank you, Lord God, that those lonely spaces are leaving them because
you are the God that fill all spaces and you do it so well. And so God, I thank you for expanding
their tent pegs. I think about the scripture that says, Lord, increase me. And so I just stretch out
the tent pegs of your life. And I declare that community is coming in and they're coming in
really close, that you won't have these surface level relationships, but you will have deep,
intimate, close relationships that the Lord God himself has orchestrated in Jesus name. Amen.
Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Oh, yeah. You're welcome, Sarah. Yeah, you're welcome. You don't have to
look in a dating pool for what heaven is going to provide for you outside of a dating pool.
No, he's sending community to you. That's his heart for you. And so I'm excited to see what
that looks like for you. You don't have to substitute one for the other. We don't have a
substitution. Yeah. You know, the Bible says that God reward those that diligently seek him,
that when we come before him and diligence and seek him, he rewards. And so I just declare that
the Lord is passing out rewards for all of you ladies. I don't know your journeys. I don't have
to know them, but the Lord knows what you have been diligent in. The Lord knows what you have
believed him for. The Lord knows what you have not let go of because you have believed to see
goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And so I just declare that our good father is
handing out rewards on tonight and God, we thank you for them. And I am believing that we're going
to hear testimony after testimony coming from the women on this call right now of the reward that
the father has given you. And so that's exciting. So are we agreed, Sarah, that you're going to wait
for the next one to see if they're going to move? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try that.
I want you to try it. I think you're going to enjoy it and it's going to bring peace to you.
Yeah. It's hard and we're going to get off the line, but it's hard to be having feelings of
loneliness and keep initiating because what happens is it keeps sending a message back to
you that it could say that you got to do everything. If you didn't do it, who would come?
And you got to do it. And so even though you're doing it because you want to feel something,
it keeps sending a message back to you when you do do it. And we're declaring that you won't get
a message back that way again. That's not your message to be had. If something's going to happen,
doesn't mean Sarah has to do it. You have a God who fights for you, who works on your behalf,
and he's waiting to do it for you. And that's for all of us.
Yeah, any other thoughts you're having
No, I don't think so, yeah
Yeah, if you do have some more thoughts and they come up write them down and post them so that we can
So that we can share in them with you
You don't have to live alone with your thoughts your fears your words your concerns. I don't care how crazy you sound
Everything better when you just get it out open up the windows and let the light in
That's right. Let the lighting get this stuff out
Get it out
Yeah, I do resonate with what you were saying a minute ago about like it sends a message back to you every time like
oh like if
you know if I want to hang out with people like I always have to be the one to ask like
You know or like if I want to go on a date
Well, I better ask somebody on a date cuz nobody's gonna ask me
Yeah, so yeah
Let's rest. Let's rest and see what our good father does on your behalf and how he wants to show up in this season
He wants to show up. There's a way he wants. He wants to express himself. Oh
That's great
Yeah
Let's try that
Okay. Thank you. You're welcome
All right, it's so good to see you too pretty I'm glad that this was helpful for you
And yes, Laura like in phase one
You made a comment you say like in this phase like you've gotten through the videos already and it's not that you're rushing
Like that is totally totally a real thing
Especially because listen to Jackie can be intoxicating sometimes but she's so charismatic and she know how to say just what you need to hear
And so I understand that if you've made it through those videos Laura already
It's from the comment you made earlier, I guess it's not like phase one with hard work and having to like peek through things
so
You are welcome and Felicia. We're still praying for you. We pray for strength for your heart
Um, you guys if you didn't know last week, she lost her brother and so continue to pray for her
We love you, Felicia. We know that God is with you and
Don't don't rush the process
Your tears your grief is honor to your brother. It's the love that you have for him. And so, um, yeah
We're with you
And we we we care about you and we're praying for you
Yeah, okay ladies you guys have been amazing I see you Laura
I don't get to hear from you much these days
But you know, I'm thinking about you and Nikki and Jodi and Claudia and Alicia and everybody that I didn't hear from
Hello. Good night, and I look forward to hearing your voice next time Laurie and
Patty and Nikki and people that I have her and Lauren Nichols
I know I gotta go Lauren, but I need you to post the update about this guy
You went out on a date with oh good to see your face Laurie
Okay, all right ladies you have a good night and we'll talk soon good night
Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Thank you ladies everyone
Beautiful good night. Good night everyone